The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 526 - 10 Year Anniversary: Hamish Blake, Andy Lee, Wil Anderson, Lawrence Mooney, Fiona O'Loughlin, Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, Nazeem Hussain, Dave Thornton, Nick Cody, Gen Fricker, Dave O'Neil, Nick Capper & Brett Blake

Episode Date: October 27, 2020

It's ten years to the week since we strolled into a disgusting room in a community radio station and talked about Thailand with Nick Cody for an hour, and so to celebrate, we're churning through a mammoth guest list of some of our favourite guests and friends from over the years! It's a jam packed episode with DAVE ANTHONY & GARETH REYNOLDS, LAWRENCE MOONEY & DAVE O'NEIL, FIONA O'LOUGHLIN & DAVE THORNTON, HAMISH & ANDY, NICK CAPPER & BRETT BLAKE, NAZEEM HUSSAIN & GEN FRICKER AND WIL ANDERSON & NICK CODY! ENJOY this super long episode!(Apologies but due to the boys from The Little Dum Dum Club Doing It Again, Talkin' Dum Dum has been bumped from the schedule and will return next week) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead happy birthday happy 10th birthday for this podcast what do you get for 10 again what's the 10th anniversary thing you're meant to uh give to a partner um you get you get a free you get a gold key into the rest of the comedy industry and uh this is our apprenticeship done that's it 10 years in podcasting that's uh we've got our ticket now we can have our own show yeah wow fantastic i can't

wait to wrap up this recording and to answer the phone call from channel 10 going yep dum dum live we're getting you on the air uh this is it the big time don't forget as soon as we finish as soon as we hit um stop on the record button to put all of your podcast machines straight into the bin and put that bin in the fire because that's it. We're done. Congratulations. This is, of course, the 10th anniversary episode of the Little Dum Dum Club. We put up the first episode this week, this exact week, 10 years ago. week this exact week 10 years ago we strolled into a community radio station that stank of bo and had trash all over the floor with uh nick cody who we've sadly lost contact with uh in the years

since uh vale vale yeah i think he got his killed himself jets jet ski exhaust and that uh wiped him out um about seven years ago. Real shame. And the rest of this episode is going to be a tribute to Nick Cody. We're going to look back on some of the finest moments that he had on the air. There's not much to choose from, so it's only going to be an 11-minute episode this week. We're going to do a lot of WWNCD. What would Nick Cody do?

Throughout the last 10 years of history, what would he have done a different, what would he have done, you know, 9-11? That sort of thing. Which was only five years ago, I believe. So, yeah, man, 10 years of turning our friendship, Tommy, into a bit of an ordeal. Turning it into really just like... An organisational nightmare that is monetised.

I don't really have too many other friendships that are monetised. I have my friendship with the two other guys that I do another podcast with and then that's it. There's no – it would be nice if, yeah, I could just have one other friend that just pays me to hang out with them without needing to record those interactions as well. That would be great. I kind of look at all my other friends now and kind of think, you know, when I'm hanging out with them, when I'm being funny with them, I think these guys are scabs. They're getting this for free.

I'm not getting anything out of this, anything out of this friendship. I'm riffing. I'm making them laugh. I'm looking around. There's not much of an audience. I'm kind of thinking, what's the point? What's the point of this friendship and i'm i'm riffing i'm making them laugh i'm looking around there's not much of an audience i'm kind of thinking what's the point what's the point of this i i even have friends who i'm doing bonus interactions with too just to try and you know it's like hey you like the free interactions that we're having the regular ones here's a bit of uh here's a bit of you know extra sauce two times a week where you know it's a bit more in it's a bit more you know behind the

curtain kind of stuff and they're still they're not ponying up anything it's it's disgusting i'll be with a mate of the pub and i'll be like really giving it a bit of large and they'll be like what are you doing this for and i'm like well you know this is a live one like there's an audience so you sort of got to play it up a little bit more this isn't like a studio friendship this is a live friendship at the moment so you've got to be a bit more more up and about yeah i guess that's the thing to anyone listening who is a fan of this who maybe has been uh inspired and might be considering starting their own podcast is that that's the thing that you've got to really think about it really makes you look at all your other friendships

completely differently and in in many cases it's kind of not worth it you just end up resenting all the other people that are around you yeah that's right there's a couple of friends i've really had to sort of cut off and they're like i haven't heard from you i'm like it's just you know we're not rating we're not getting a lot of response from this friendship um i'm making nothing out of this it's sort of yeah it's taking me away from from the money i'm making with other friends so yeah um yeah but um yeah thanks for thanks for helping me make money tommy with this but thanks for uh and also it's a it's a it's a weird thing to have a monetized friendship but not only that but it's it's only monetized when we make other people watch us as well like other we get other friends to come around and sort of

sit there while we be friends yeah yeah yeah do you mean the guests like the guests have to kind of enter into this friendship with us yeah an hour yeah it's like it's like we're it's like we're sort of had this monogamous relationship and then all of a sudden it's like we've gone super weird and gone i want to get paid for this relationship and i want to involve some other people. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's kind of like the two of us, our friendship is the instrument and then two other guests are the batteries, you know? So we get like Blakey and Kappa, they're both a double A, we slot them in and then all of a sudden we're just juiced up and ready to go.

That's the, you know, that's the power that gets us over the line. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then of course we get freaky and start charging people to come and watch our foursomes and fivesomes yeah i mean which god isn't this good stuff we couldn't have done this back in 2010 that's a decade that's a decade of experience under the belt right there that's the kind of riffing that you can do after a solid 10 years of once a fucking week. Yep.

That's it. Yeah. Go back and listen to them. We wouldn't even be able to liken our friendship to fucking 10 years ago, but that's what we've got under our belts now. Congratulations, dear listeners. Thanks to everyone who's been listening for 10 years. Thanks to everyone who we've picked up along the way,

particularly thanks to everyone who's helped listening for 10 years. Thanks to everyone who we've picked up along the way, particularly thanks to everyone who's helped monetize this podcast. We would not be still doing this if somehow we hadn't become to some form of success for sure. We're loving it. We very much love the fact that we're our own bosses. We get to do whatever we want. We love all the feedback from you guys and the fact that we can do this for a living.

So thank you very much to all of you people that have listened. And, of course, all the guests. All the guests that you guys have found and attached yourselves to and helped them along the way as well. And, yeah, everyone who's been to a live show, has bought merch, anything like that, we really appreciate it. And you're the reason we're still around doing this. The media platform leg up that is the Little Dum Dum Club.

In many ways, you know, having the Little Dum Dum Club boys chuckle at a riff that you've done is sort of the modern day Carson inviting you over to the couch after a stand-up set. Absolutely. That's the thing that makes the people at home go, I've got to pay attention to this young Brett character who doesn't seem to be able to know how to spell or to speak properly. I think there's something going on with this chap. Yeah, I mean, the big invite over to the couch, like there's been some comedian, open mic comedian,

we've noticed a particular disability that they have. We've laughed a lot at that and they've gone, wow, this is my big break. I'm missing an arm and these guys just want to fucking absolutely destroy me for it. So great. When you put it like that, this is starting to feel more like a war crimes tribunal than a celebration of artistic expression

over the last decade. No, but yeah, look, thanks. There's been a lot of great guests that have lowered themselves to us to our level and which we're very appreciative of but again we've been very happy to do the opposite for other people and um you know get people on that had no profile and expose you guys to them and all of a sudden they start getting good numbers at their live shows or downloads for their podcasts and stuff like that so So, yeah, it's been a beautiful little thing to get a little bit of love from people above us and to give back that love to the people below us, which, you know, that might seem

natural to everyone at home, but a lot of people don't do that. It's been an absolute pleasure to be part of both angles of that. Yep, for sure. And we are going to be celebrating over the next, what, like three hours or something? We've got a whole mess of friends of the show calling in to hang out with us for a little bit. It's a real smorgasbord of some of our favorites from over the years.

Absolutely. Both big names and mates. All of our favorites except the ones who didn't answer text messages who left us on red. Eight and a half minutes. Thought that was

going to be the first thing you said. No, no, no. I've been good so far. All the people who left us on red. Here are all these people you're about

to hear from are all people that replied to us like good people. So you know that these are the good ones. Put these on your good list. If Santa, if you're listening to this podcast you may deliver presence to these people there's a couple that didn't reply and then just showed up in the zoom meeting unexpectedly

i don't think it's fair to necessarily say that just because someone's on this episode they replied to a message saying yes i can do it some of them some of them just hacked into the chat window at the last minute. So, you know, I don't want to cast any aspersions about the definitive link between being on this episode and responding to a text message. Okay. So to be clear, what's happening here is I'm saying all these people are good and you're saying no, they're not. You picked the shit ones.

There's a couple of dead ones in here. No, I mean, I'm not saying they're bad. I'm just saying that maybe they operate in a different way. They have a different approach to saying yes or no. They wanted to keep us on our toes. Basically, the way we've been doing this is we're just sitting on Zoom waiting for people to hop in and join us. Some of these people we haven't even asked to be on.

Some of them just have a bit of a sixth sense that a recording is happening right now and they're just going to guess at the Zoom link, put it into their browser, and maybe they'll strike gold. Some of these are elite Zoom hackers. They just guessed our meeting code and got in there ourselves. Exactly. Yeah, right. Some real flash mob podcasters.

Yeah. So, yeah, you're going to see a real mix. In the next few hours, you're going to hear a mix of people that responded to a text and said yes and people that just are great at hacking in the mainframe. Maybe they're Hugh Jackman in Swordfish style getting sucked off while they're doing it. Who's to say? Who's to say? being sucked off while they're doing it.

Who's to say? Who's to say? And some of them are, you know, Halle Berry from Swordfish, just sitting there topless while they're talking to us. So you pick which one's a which. Yeah, you can be the judge. Without the visuals, you'll just have to, like, paint the picture in your mind of Dave Anthony with a pair of just beautiful breasts as he's talking to us.

Spoilers. Spoilers. You're giving away. You're giving stuff away. All right. Hypoth us. Spoilers, spoilers. You're giving away. You're giving stuff away. Hypothetically. Hypothetically. Yeah. Right, right.

Well, hold that thought. Well, I guess we're about 10 minutes in. Let's crack in, Tommy. We've got a lot of guests to get through today. So let's crack in right now. All right. And joining us now we have from the dollop, Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds. Yes.

USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. You can tell Dave and I are in the same room with how in unison that was. Yeah. Yeah.

And thank you. Thank you for respecting our rules that we always ask our guests. Please name the country you're in at the moment. We've done that for 10 years now. So thanks for going along with that rule. Well, how is your shitty little dump of a country doing? We're on top of the fucking world. Man, we're going to vote Trump in as well.

We're the same as you guys. I don't know if you guys heard, but the Summer Olympics were cancelled. But when it comes to the COVID gold medal, I think we know who cleaned up. I hear a lot about these mail-in votes in America. Can we mail a vote for Trump from here? Absolutely. Can we mail something in? Yes.

Anybody can vote. Right. Great. It's the only way to rig the election process. Yeah, you can write in a vote on an official ballot paper. You should be able to write in a ballot paper that has someone from the real ballot paper on it, even if you're not from the country.

It should work both ways. And you get to vote in your answer. I think you should get to write in your question as well. You can do whatever with a ballot, I think. Make your own question. Carl, is it still the case that if you lose the presidential election in the US, you become the Prime

Minister of Australia? Is that still what happens? That the runner-up gets to lead Australia? It's the relegation system. That would make things very interesting. People here love to get invested in events. You'd be a lot more invested if you're like, please.

It would be so funny if the runner-up immediately was just like, fuck, and then started pounding a beer. Here I go. Here I go. A bag of onions and a pint. That would be so sick if we're all watching from here like, God, please, I hope America votes him in again. Please, please.

All right. I just called the new president-elect, Joe Biden. Let him know I congratulated him on winning the election. Obviously, it's January 20th. Melania and I will be headed to Australia. We're very excited. Seems like they have a lot of good things going on. I can't wait to piss all over that.

I'm very excited about Nehru. I can do a lot of good things going on. I can't wait to piss all over them. I'm very excited about Nauru. I can do a lot of good work there. Nauru seems like a very fertile area. I'm really, dare I say, got a presidential hard-on for what I can do in Nauru. Thanks for being part of our 10th anniversary special here. Dave, personally, what were your highlights of our 10 years? Has the line dropped out? I can't hear Dave saying anything straight away.

I think maybe his screen's frozen. Yeah, we can see him jumping up and down and pumping fists, but we can't hear what he's saying. Why is he showing his anus? That's who he's voting for. Obviously, pajamas. really high up as far as anything I've ever learned on a podcast. That's highlights of comedy in general, I believe, in Australia. That's what we call the best moments.

And then I would say one of the post-festival shows, the one in which everyone got naked and was doing the stage, the crowd surfing. Yeah. I was actually thinking you were making something up for comedy, but then I was like, oh, no, that's what happened. I forgot. That's our real lives, yeah.

Dave, I'm with you. The pajamas is a highlight, but I think you're forgetting one of the things that makes the pyjamas story so great, not only the hearing of it on the podcast, but the fact that Carl and I had flown to Sydney for probably about an hour and a half all up to see you guys, to hear and tell that story, which makes the whole thing that little bit more deranged, I reckon. You're forgetting one other little part of that story. Is that Ronnie Chang paid for us to do that?

Ronnie Chang paid for it. And on top of that, that you guys missed your flight home. Yes. That's right. The story itself, it's like the whole, everything surrounding the telling of the story is equal. It was a cultural touch point yeah when you guys like just off your flight from america or something like you were

fresh into the country so you're just jet lag is all shit yeah yeah and we were like oh we had a nightmare travel day and you guys were like hold our beer and then and tommy missing his flight like that i mean then then it it was sort of like it caught like a virus because then dave anthony like missed his flight to kosamui so it was this weird that's right it was literally a travel bug yeah yeah a three-year incubation period on that still in the air dave's still in the airport living like tom Hanks in the terminal waiting. This is the lounge. Oh, nice.

Cool, cool. What time do you fly? They say 7, but they keep bumping it. They're delaying it based on Corona. They say 7. I'm like, 7 what? 7 hours? 7 p.m.? 7 days? Yeah, they're not actually narrowing it down. They're just giving me a number.

They're just giving you numbers. Seven. Simply that means. Still seven. Still seven. Okay. All right. If you guys say seven, it's seven.

If you guys say. Man, well, we can't wait till you hear. We've been holding out for like a few years, but man, it is. It's going to be great. Some of the beers are getting a little bit warm, but someone's bound to come over and refresh them soon. The food's still good, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been sitting out in the sun in 30 degrees

for two and a half years, but it's still good. Seafood's good, isn't it? I heard there's... Seafood stays. I heard there's great spaghetti there also. Yeah, incredible spaghetti. Yeah. Name a better place to go for spaghetti.

You can't, so yeah. I'm sorry. Carl, the only thing. Name a better place to go for spaghetti. You can't. So, yeah. I'm sorry. Carl, the accent got in the way. You just called Dave a cunt, right? No, no, no. That's what I did, yeah. Okay, yeah.

That's right. But, yeah, I'll never forget that fateful afternoon when we were on one of your other trips to this country. Carl and I were in your hotel room. We'd just recorded another of our just absolute classic crossover episodes with you boys. And we got down to brass tacks and nutted out this idea of the four of us going to Koh Samui. And, wow, what a – you know, it's fair to say that I almost enjoy that memory of the four of us organizing the trip more than I enjoy any memories that I have of the four of us actually in Koh Samui.

It's certainly easier to remember, isn't it, Tommy? Yeah. It's a lot more vivid in my head. For some weird reason, the actual trip itself with the four of us, nothing's really conjuring up. Tommy, you remember the celebration of us deciding we were going to do it. The trip was secondary, but we were going to do it yeah the trip was secondary but we were going to do it something bad so dave must have done something bad in kosamui because i distinctly

remember you being there gareth but i've just in my brain blocked every memory of dave but carl i'm the loudest right yeah yeah but also here's why it's because they they call me dave the king of promotion anthony and so all you remember is my promotion about the event. Usually when they actually happen, it goes by in a blur. But I am just the promoter. You're the Don King of international podcasts. Right, right. Time flies when you're having fun.

Yeah, right. And time flies when you don't fly. Oh, my God. Yeah. You sleep so much fly. Oh, my God. Yeah. You sleep so much better. You sleep so much. I slept so good that whole time. Like, I just – No jet lag.

Yeah. No jet lag. Yeah, how does this guy do it? What's your secret? Yeah. It's because it's so sunny there. You get there, you immediately get the vitamin D that your body needs to recalibrate. So that's why. And by the way,

vitamin D was as close as you were going to get actual David there. That was close as it got. Right. Just getting the rays from the sun and going, ah, near enough is good enough, I guess. It's the next best thing.

Starts with a D. So I probably should have been, I probably should have been more clear, but when I say I'm going to do a festival, that usually means I'm, I'm just going to type up a script and send it to another guy. All right. Thank you.

Right. Thank you. I should have been more, I should have been more exact. That's my fault. But I felt like when we were talking about it, I, we kept saying us four and I kept saying,

yeah, but I'll be a script. Right. Don't remember that part i really don't know we should have yeah that's implied you're right it's yeah it's on the recording if you listen to it you'll hear me say is it like a hidden track on our recording because i don't remember hearing it for sure no it's in there i guess i should have uh seen that coming because i now that you mention it at every music festival i've been to, like one time I went to the Big Day Out and they advertised Iggy Pop

and it was just some cunt off the street reading lyrics of Iggy Pop songs off a sheet. Famously, that's how festivals work here. So now that you mention it, yeah. And to be fair, Tommy, that was actually Iggy Pop. Yeah. We thought it was some homeless man reading it. That was Iggy.

That was Iggy. Yeah. We thought it was some homeless man reading it That was Iggy Imagine that if we would have got a homeless man to play Dave at Costa Mui Now that would have been living That would have been great That would have been amazing Wasn't that what we actually did? Sort of, pretty close to it

Not too far off. Yeah. I can't believe you guys have lasted 10 years. Can we really be honest about this? Like, I don't think anybody thought you would go three. Yeah. You thought we would have been elevated to superstardom after that long and have TV shows and radio?

Sure. No, you're absolutely right. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It's been an absolute pleasure to start our podcast and see Dave, you start a podcast, that get bigger than us. Then you quit that podcast, start a new one, see that get way bigger than us. And then I remember the first time we met Gareth,

we were doing a live podcast that Dave was on and Dave said, hey, do you want me to get Gareth up here? And me and Carl went, no, we don't know who the fuck that guy is. And then the entire crowd goes, no, get him up! Get him up! This guy that we haven't even heard of is more popular with our fans than us. People screaming at us, get him up! Get him up, Timmy and Cameron.

Get him up there. Always, as a performer, the right vibe you want, where it was like, well, they passed, but the audience booked you. You're like, get up there. That feels nice. How did I get an encore without doing anything to start with? Okay, sure. And this is a great way to find out that you don't listen to the podcast at all.

You didn't know that Gareth was signing. Am I imagining this? Is this how it went? You got on stage, Gareth, and then Carl goes, first question, who are you? Yes, that was exactly what happened. But also, to be fair, my head was spinning so much with what was going on that I wasn't sure who I was anymore either. I was like, this cannot be for me.

Who would have thought all those years later that you would have been the one to come to Koh Samui and not pull out? That's crazy. That's right. Yes. I would have been the one that you needed and the hero that you wanted. Yes. Like Dave. That's right.

Yes. I'm like Dave. Oh, that's right. So when we first went and toured there, we hadn't really done shows in the States, and we were already doing like decent-sized rooms. We did the comic lounge. We did the comic lounge and sold out one and almost sold out the other one.

And so to you, it was like, what's happening? To me? Yeah. It was like, what the fuck is going on? It was insane right right i'll never forget long ago it works the other way around too you guys were both at our la show uh that we did it works to say it works the other way around for us like we you know we do okay here and then we go over there you guys you guys did our show at the hollywood

bowl right that yeah yeah yeah that was awesome we. We were surprised as well, to be fair. So there was that element of surprise in both stories. Like I was surprised we would get 12 people, all of whom didn't laugh. It's funny because I remember that being at the Lyric Theatre, not the Hollywood Bowl. Isn't that funny? It's funny how you just misremembered it. When you travel, you know, you're looking at things

through a bit more like rose-colored glasses. I've lived there, so I'm a little conditioned to it. I also forget which venue I was thinking about committing suicide at. I couldn't remember. I knew that show. Outside, I don't know. I knew that show was going well when you guys kept saying, this is the worst show we've ever done during.

What a great day well they're they're entertainers so they know how to just go forward and and realize that it is a it is a podcast you're recording so just constantly the people who are listening also know that it sucks it's like they say fake it till you make it so it's like if you talk about killing yourself enough, eventually you'll actually get up the stones to actually do it. So a little show of your secret, folks. Now that I remember this, because the show went so badly, we went out with you, Dave, and just got so drunk but then had so much fun talking to you

that we then talked you into coming to Koh Samui because then you rang, you were really drunk, and you rang your wife and you're like, yep, that's in. We're in. Lock it in. We're going to come. So we'd had a bad gig, came back from it by having fun,

but then fucked ourselves again by getting you so drunk that you decide to go to Koh Samui, which you then pull out of. So what a horrible show that was in conclusion. I was trying to sober up. What better way than to make international travel plans? This is not the night that Nick and you guys jumped off the roof into the pool, right? No, that was a few years before.

That was before that. That was years before. Maybe that was after we'd done the show at Meltdown. Yeah. I think we did the last one. Because I had already voted you off that reality show. The podcast reality show that we did with Earwolf years earlier. Which is still, to this day, my ultimate achievement in podcasting

was eliminating you guys. We nearly won it. It was basically, for listeners that don't go back that far, we were on a podcast reality show. We made it to the final and then we were told basically that we were going to win and then it was rigged or something and we didn't get to win because we were from Australia instead of America.

So they just, yeah, all of a sudden we lost and we'd made plans to go to the casino and get drunk and like change our lives. Oh my God. And then instead we were like sitting at my one bedroom apartment, just like looking at each other going, what do we do now? What do we? Yeah.

Yeah. I think we had a meeting with our then management that day, didn't we? And we were like trying to get out of, we wanted to end our relationship with them. And so we were going to cancel the meeting if we had won and gone to the casino instead. And so we don't win and we're like, I guess we better go have this meeting where we sack our management.

And then we get there and they talk us into not sacking them and staying with them. So we're just like driving away going, this is going to go down as one of the worst days we've ever had. Oh, my God. I think I'd invited friends of ours to meet us at the casino and then I had to like send a message going, don't come to the casino anymore.

Fuck, we should have just gone. We should have just gone anyway. That's the lesson. Yeah, I mean, I thought that'd be lucky. Sure, let's go to the casino. Oh, my God. That's amazing. Thanks, Dave. Thanks, Dave.

So many great memories Dave's brought you guys over. Of things not happening, of plans not quite coming together. Not going to Samui, not going to the casino. Where does it end? Where does it start, I think, is the actual question. Well, thanks, guys. Thanks for lending us your time. Thanks for being part of the show over the years.

And, yeah, hey, thanks for giving us something to aim at. In another hundred years of podcasting, I think we'll get to where you guys are now. Do you guys, and thank you. That means a lot to me. Dave doesn't care. Do you guys think you'll ever do another Koh Samui? Look, I mean, you're in America.

You can see how well the virus is going at the moment. It's bound to be finished in the next couple of weeks. So, yeah, for sure. Well, I'm looking. The reason why I'm asking is I'm looking to leave America and move into a podcast festival. Yeah. That one would be perfect for me.

Yeah, yeah. This is, finally must look like a good option for Dave to actually go to Korea. If he's ready to go to Thailand, guys. Yeah, yeah. 100%.

Yeah. That's the lesson. Next time we do it, we might, Dave, we've got to make sure we organize it in the lead up to an election during a global pandemic. Yes. That's the lesson next time we do it we might day we've got to make sure we organize it in the lead up to an election during a global pandemic yes that's the way we guarantee that he's going to get on a plane and leave the country yeah the other option is do the kosamoi podcast in la

that's the other option then you can book dave no problem he'll show up well yeah that's easy really because it took us about an hour to get him on a Zoom call. He won't. I finished saying that. I realized he won't show up. Don't do that. It'll break your heart. At the moment, we can barely get him to show up in his own house. So I don't know how we're going to get him to do something else. Who books your living room?

I may have gotten the times wrong on this. Sure. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks, sure, sure. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. Well, thanks, guys. We appreciate your time.

Thanks for being part of it. We miss you very much. See you in Koh Samui. Bye. Bye. Bye. All right. Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds.

From the dollop. Of course, we were talking about the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival that notoriously Dave Anthony said he would do, didn't do. We found out a couple of weeks before the festival that he wasn't coming. Gareth was very nice enough to honour the half agreement and come along to that a couple of years ago, which was excellent. But, of course, that was absolutely one of the highlights of the last 10 years of doing this podcast, Tommy,

having three years of doing the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. Just a pleasure to do gigs every night on the beach of Koh Samui in June, three years running, just making up our own festival. A lot of people thought that we'd gotten chosen for something or we made it sound a bit official. But the fact was we just made something up that we wanted to do. It was a holiday destination that I went to every year anyway. So I reversed engineered. Somehow, the listeners have, you know, given their faith in us. I don't know why, but went, okay, we'll do this thing. That

sounds like an absolute nightmare, but they did it. And it was awesome for three years. It sounds like an absolute nightmare, but they did it, and it was awesome for three years. Yeah. No sweeter feeling for me personally, not so much the shows, but the first evening there, seeing everyone that is booked to perform as a comedian actually show up at the resort because I was the person who was in charge of booking the flights for everyone every year.

So just a huge relief to see everyone turn up and know that I hadn't somehow fucked up the booking. Because when you've got to book it through, sometimes for some people I'm going through some, like one of those third-party sites where you're never quite sure if you're getting fucked over and having to put in, you know, what, six different people's worth of passport numbers, birthdates, all that kind of stuff, dates of leaving travel and make sure you've communicated that to people.

There is huge margin for error there. So just big, big sigh of relief from me. Already blind drunk on the first day from having started drinking at four in the afternoon. But yeah, that's my personal highlight of three years is going, phew, I didn't fuck this up. Thank God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, great. No, yeah, it was, look, it was a great thing. There was, it did turn a holiday into work.

I mean, and that's what it should be because there's a lot of people there and we had a lot of responsibilities. And look, let's be completely honest. I'm pretty sure what we did was illegal there for three years like you you're not supposed to do what we did we didn't have any insurance we didn't have any um yeah i don't know if that's strictly illegal though it's pretty it's fucking stupid but um i don't know if we broke any laws per se, I mean, maybe, I don't know. I don't know. But, yeah, ill-advised is probably the better way of putting it.

Extraordinarily ill-advised. And, yeah, a big shout-out to Gareth for still coming to that Koh Samui, the one that he ended up coming to. I think he had to leave a day early or something like that, and it took him like 20 hours or something. It's a brutal flight from the USA, so he did this crazy, crazy flight to be there for, I think he was on the ground for three days or something,

maybe, before he went back. It's not even really long enough to beat jet lag, but super big shout out to him for being fucking bothered to come and do that because absolutely that was amazing yeah yeah and it wasn't like we were flying in business class on a great airline either so i think it was a little bit wearing on him but um yeah also also a little bit funny was the fact that we flew him over and then we were like oh cool we get to hang out with Gareth. And then at the last minute, he's like, I'm going to fly a mate over with me.

And then just like brought his mate over and then hung out with his mate the whole time. We're like, okay. All right. Well, good to catch up for an hour a night. See ya. Yep. Great mate though. I love that guy.

Yeah, yeah. He was a good guy. But yeah, great, great little moment of um yeah looking back at oh look the coast of my international podcast first of all i appreciate it at the time but ever since we've been in this situation where we can't fly anywhere it's like fucking hell god why did we i mean i shouldn't say why did we stop at three because we wouldn't be physically able to have done a fourth one given what happened so much worse if we would have had to be dealing with all of that in March as everything else is crumbling down, issuing refunds and God knows what else. So, yeah, fuck, fuck the stuff.

Yeah, totally. But, yeah, man, probably I would say, I mean, off the top of my head, the highlight of the 10 years is being able to do something that ridiculous. We've had a bunch of stupid little things that we've gotten to do that we would never have been able to do without the podcast. This, going to Montreal, being invited to the invite-only Montreal Comedy Festival, the most prestigious comedy festival in the world, and we went and did a show there. Not the most prestigious of time slots, I wouldn't have thought, but it was a nice experience.

Yeah, it was super fun. For me, that was like something, just a career thing that I had like dreamt of doing for the entire time that I'd done comedy and certainly would not have had that on the agenda if it wasn't for this podcast. That was amazing. And then gotten to do a show at 12 noon in front of about 40 people. God, was it that late?

I think it may have even been earlier. I think it may have even been an AM. I don't think it was. Oh, really? I don't think we'd crossed over into the PM. I could be wrong, but yeah, I think it was like 11 AM or something. Well, the day after the biggest party of the whole festival, we were the next morning and we were trying to get people to come do it or come watch.

And they were like, God, no, I'll still be asleep or out. Well, to be honest, look, I'm saying it's 12 p.m. It's noon. So it's as close to a.m. as you can get it. I mean, let's, for argument's sake, let's say that we were professional. We started like one second early. We were in the a.m.s. The classic time of comedy, a.m. say that we were professional we started like one second early we we were in the ams we did some the

classic the classic time of comedy am um so yeah yeah but it it was that was another cool experience we got to do gigs in in uh podcasts in new york and la and um of course the big opera house sydney opera house gig that we did in uh yeah sydney i think it was, which was just crazy. It was awesome to think. We certainly got to do a lot of cool things that we wouldn't have been able to do if we had just stayed doing stand-up by ourselves. Well, not only that, but those three that you just mentioned, so the first Koh Samui Podcast Festival, Montreal, the Opera House,

they're all within like four months of each other. Like they all happened so we did so june we went to kosamui and then i remember right after we got back we got asked about doing montreal which i think was end of july and then the opera house would have been like september and we were and we were doing montreal we were kind of in a conversation with montreal because of doing the opera house because they're both run by the same company so that was like that was a wild um yeah just a few months where all these crazy things were happening and i don't think any of them had really been on the calendar like at the very start of the year

like that they had all kind of come into focus pretty quickly, which has always been my favourite thing about doing comedy slash doing this podcast is that, like, you can write goals for a year and you can think about the things that you want to do, but then the best things that end up happening to you are things that you couldn't have ever, like, predicted. Like, oh, my goal for this year is to run a festival in, you know, Koh Samui. Like, the most fun things that happen are the things that just, like come up like this which yeah that well that four month period was the period

where it was like wow this thing that we do is truly fucking crazy and awesome stuff happens because of it to be fair the kosamui international podcast festival that wasn't a late minute booking that wasn't a last minute we weren't a last minute addition to the lineup that year. That was, I'd actually worked on that before that. Oh, really? I only got called about it the week before because I got told someone else dropped out but they didn't say anything. Oh, yeah.

Right, right. Yeah. Hughsey had something on. So, yeah, that's right. I'm remembering that now. So, yeah, look, awesome. Some great highlights in there of stuff we got to do. Okay, well, let's get another bunch of our little mates in

Alright, and joining us now We have special guests Dave O'Neill and Lawrence Mooney Two of the all-time classic Hall of Famers It is Classic It's good to be back and joining you guys in Melbourne because I haven't been to Melbourne since

Anzac Day this year. Oh nice well I mean we are it's pretty similar. We've been in the wars and you should give us a minute of silence for everything for all of us fallen soldiers of comedy down here. We're in the trenches.

You're in the some winter of comedy down here. We're in the trenches. We're in the trenches, Mooney, as we speak. You're in the some winter of comedy. You're just bogged in mud and people are firing at you. What are you doing? Because the live scene is dead. Yes. And you guys have been lurching from unemployment to humiliation for years now.

So how are you mate well well mooney mooney to be fair it's not like we're missing out on any paid gigs because the comedy scene's down here we weren't getting any a year ago anyway so we've been isolating from employment for years so we've been isolating from employment for years, so we've been ready for this. So many people are so happy with isolation. I, for one, have loved the whole COVID-19 thing. First of all, get away from me. I love social distancing. Wash your hands.

And if you are in any way sick, put a mask on. and if you are in any way sick, put a mask on. I'm living in Sydney and so up here restaurants and bars are open but you go in, you sign in, you hand sanitise, like all of that, you get a table, you sign in on the queue code on the table, order your meal and what you order comes to the table because you aren't ordering with a disaffected 23-year-old dead shit that goes, yeah, I can remember your order. And you know he's forgotten at the moment he walks away from the table. So what I order actually comes and I pay for it and I don't have to tip his slovenly service. You know what, mate?

You are 23, you're unhygienic anyway, and I don't want you near my table. So I am loving life. Okay, so popular, a lot of people think that the virus was cooked up in a lab in China by scientists. I'm going on record and saying I reckon Lawrence Mooney cooked it up so that he could have the world that he's always wanted. Well, I have been working with the Chinese to cook this shit up for a while.

All right, don't do the voice. Don't do the voice, for God's sake. Don't do the voice of a scientist. Don't do the voice of a scientist or a Chinese scientist. Why are you so racist Carl Why don't you think Chinese scientists Should be impersonated Oh because they're dirty

And stupid You vile Look I don't believe the science I think you should be able to do your own research That's all you know that's what I always say To people Yeah get on the internet read Facebook That's what I always say to people. Yeah, get on the internet. Read Facebook.

That's what I do. Moon, you know, in Melbourne, all we can do, we can go to the park. Yep. And we can invite one other house to meet us, up to 10 people. So I invite the House of Lannister, and it's always a good time. He's doing gear. Is that the House of Lannister? Is the House of Lannister? Game of Thrones, mate. Game of Thrones, mate.

Game of Thrones, yeah. God. Is the dwarf from the House of Lannister? Yes. Yeah, Tyrion. Yeah, absolutely. He's a very yappy little man, isn't he? Yes, he's funny.

Someone should have run him through with a sword. Who's taking that amount of shit from a dwarf? Moon, I was worried. And he was a sexual pervert. I was worried because you're doing breakfast radio, big breakfast radio in Sydney, and I was going to say to you, look, you can loosen up. You're not on breakfast radio anymore.

You don't have to be stiff and watch your P's and Q's. You're on a podcast. You can say whatever you want. But then a friend of the show brett blake said to me yesterday that he listens to your podcast uh of the radio show every week and he said there's a segment on there where every friday uh you impersonate russell uh you impersonate bindi erwin's mum uh pegging russell crowe in the arsehole every every fr Friday morning at about 8 o'clock in the morning as the kids are going to school. So I think you're okay.

What? Do you? I don't impersonate Terry Earl and I impersonate Russell Crowe. Oh, okay. And, you know, we do some role plays. Like I did a role play when Rusty's mum's cat died and I pretended to be the cat

and Terry pretended to be the vet and she took my temperature but the thermometer was really big and she was wearing it laughter laughter

laughter they haven't toned down she was wearing it. They haven't toned down. All of a sudden, all of a sudden, a Kyle and Jackie O scene is sort of like pretty musty and old school and pretty safe now that you're on the scene.

Well, the thing with Sydney radio is not only is it the biggest market in the country, it's always had this great licence. And I'm sure you guys know this from doing stand-up in Sydney. Sydney audiences will let you go a lot further than a Melbourne audience. And Sydney's got that very rough and ready attitude. I absolutely think so.

I think a Melbourne audience is probably looking for more nuance. And, you know, when you generalise across a state divide like this, you're always going to come up short as well. But I'm just making those kind of observations. I reckon the Sydney audience is always like, whatever it takes, make us laugh. Yeah. Whereas Melbourne's a little bit more of a...

Do they yell out more, though, and get involved more? Yeah, they do. It's a bit more rough and ready. And I think that that's part of the, you know, history of the joint and the topography of the joint a bit more rough and ready. And I think that that's part of the history of the joint and the topography of the joint and the whole box and dice. I always felt like being a Melburnian born and bred. What I'm hearing is there's more assholes in Sydney.

That's what I'm hearing. Well, no. Well, if you heard that, that's your ears. That's your Melbourne ears. Your sweet Melbourne your ears. That's your Melbourne ears. Your sweet Melbourne lesbian ears. I think you're right, Lawrence. Definitely at the moment, Sydney audiences leave Melbourne audiences for dead.

There are a lot more. You can get away with a lot more on stage up there at the moment than you can down here. That's for damn sure. Yeah, because there's no live audiences in Melbourne. There's nothing. Lawrence gets it. There's nothing. Boris gets it. There's nothing going on.

I was going to say, Moony, the last time that me and you were involved in the Dumb Dumb Club together, I don't think we've ever done the show together. No. But I picked you up from a Saturday afternoon Dumb Dumb gig at the European in Melbourne, and we had to drive to Ballarat that night. Oh, yes. Remember that? Yeah.

And you were blind. We had to do Brown hill hall oh yeah a primary school parents fundraising night that's right and i asked the audience um are there any women in the audience that worked at cryo castle as busty wenches and uh there was quite a significant number of women who had uh either through Sovereign Hill or Cryol Castle, which are historic kind of theme parks, working as Busty Wenches. Tom Seagate said that after my gig and after the gig had finished,

he went up to the principal of the Brownhill Primary School and said how did it go? And she said I think we'll go for trivia next year. But also you went into great description of why it's called Brownhill. Do you remember that? Yes I do. Why? And I said that it probably had some

kind of maximum security convict labor connotations of uh being put up here and the subsequent uh maximum security activities would have left it known as brown hill it was a very it's a very nice way of describing it on anal sex yes yes yes which which i heard of and went, you know what, I used to live in Ballarat, and so I know all the locations of these places you're talking about. And I'm just so glad that you got booked at Brownhill Primary School instead of what's right next door, which is Blackhill Secondary School, because I wouldn't have liked to have heard the riff on that one

after about 22 beers from Lawrence Mooney. I wouldn't have liked to have heard the riff on that one after about 22 beers from Lawrence Mooney. But to be fair, Dave, I started doing stand-up in 1994, so that's 26 years ago, and that's the only gig I've ever been pissed at. He's miming Pinocchio's nose. The people at home watch Mooney does the Pinocchio mime. And he's just

drank a beer out of a shoe as well for people at home that can't see. But also, you were headlining and I did, Tom Seagert was emceeing. I was the first one. There was only three of us on. And in the break, the principal comes up to me and you and goes,

oh, I've made some muffins. And I've just put them on the table over there. Someone wants to announce that my muffins are over there. And before I know it, you just hear Moody on the mic going, ah, the fucking principal's made some muffins, everyone. Grab his muffins. Grab the principal's muffins. You probably don't remember it.

Yeah, a kindly woman does some baking and I make it sexual. And the head of Triple M was in the audience that night and goes, we need this man at 6am in Sydney. For Sydney. Yes. Well, when I was first hired to do breakfast radio for Triple M in Brisbane, it was like, okay, so I've got breakfast radio. I'm back after a long absence from radio for obvious reasons.

Des, Michelle and Lawrence. Loz, Michelle and Des, yeah. Mix 101.1. More music that makes you feel like you're in a shop or a taxi. And the CEO said to me, now listen, you know, it's a big opportunity, but we hired you because you're you. So don't go getting all radio on us. Be yourself.

It's like, are you sure? Well, what I do love is that this is our 10th anniversary show for the Dum Dum Club. And it is interesting just looking at two of our favourite guests, you two, to see your sort of career over 10 years and i i think if you were cars o'neill's like a steady volvo he's always been very gainfully employed just pretty you know 70k on the highway whereas i think mooney's like some sort of formula one car that's got one you know missing one wheel where you're going this is going fast, but fuck knows where it's going.

And like just seeing you, but like seeing you and knowing you over like the last 10 or a bit more years, like you've gone from, you were doing breakfast radio way back then and then that sort of finished thanks to you, you know, sort of being pretty self-destructive and doing a lot of drugs. And you can see over that you know sort of being pretty self-destructive and and doing a lot of

drugs and you can see over that that sort of stopped and then you really restarted it was really admirable to see you sort of sort of started at the bottom again and you went back and i remember you just did every single gig that you could possibly do all these terrible open mics and you were out every night doing them and like crushing them and just getting so good you rebuilt yourself all of a sudden tv couldn't ignore you anymore you made yourself so good that people had to get you and then you you built up and up and up and up until you started doing radio in brisbane now you're doing prime time the best possible spot in australia you've come full circle and now you're back to doing radio back to being self-destructive back to doing a lot of drugs again. So it's really gone 360.

Full circle. Life is a circle and we'll meet up again, my friends. When you are born, you emerge from a long darkness and after you die, you go back into a long darkness and you know what once we're all gone and forgotten not a bit of this is gonna matter a shit to anyone so you may as well enjoy yourself man i i remember you like when you were back doing like open mic gigs and and it was so good like you just being as loose as you could and being really, really funny. I remember one night, and I think I touched upon this on the show before,

but I do remember one night you were at a gig with me and it was walking distance from my house and you did it and you were really funny. It was a terrible gig, but you were great. And then on the way home, I walked home and this idiot with a beard, like, just started screaming at me out the side of a Range Rover saying, kill yourself, you fucking idiot. Then I got home and I was like, what sort of person does that?

It full on took me 15 minutes to go, that's right, Lawrence Mooney drives a Range Rover these days. Just driven past me on the way home and gone full chills at me. That's great. What kind of a vile imbecile would do that? That's very kind of you to say, Carl. I knew that I was going to cop a fair whack at the end of that beautiful speech. But, yeah, there was a point where, and I think there's a point in everybody's career

where you've got to restart. You've got to kind of throw out what you've done. You become a bit exhausted with the scene and you've got to reinvent. And that is what we have to do. The interesting thing is that you and Tommy have never bothered to do that. You started at the bottom and you liked it. yeah it's fun down here there's no pressure that's that's sort of full circle it's just a really small circle yeah hey well hey we could be headliners in this city at the moment and when covid hit and we'd still be doing this over

fucking zoom at 9 30 a.m on a tuesday morning Like, look at O'Neill. He's killing it before this and we all end up on Zoom, baby. The pandemic has just given us an excuse about our crowd numbers at our stand-up shows. It's fine. It hasn't affected our numbers at all. Dave, I had paused to think of you the other day. There was a story out of Dubai where an Indian man had been arrested by customs

in Dubai. No recreations are going to happen here. It's not like I'm going to go, oh, I'm an Indian man in Dubai. Thank goodness. That's just wrong. That's cancel stuff now. Save that for Triple M.

Not us. He was arrested by by customs in jubai uh because he was walking funny and they found uh a kilogram that's two pounds of uh gold ingots uh inserted in his anus. And you thought Dave O'Neill. No, I thought the nugget. That's the second movie, I reckon. Both gold and shit. Yeah. That's a real welcome stranger up there. No, I actually quite enjoyed the nugget.

For anybody that hasn't seen it, starring our own Dave O'Neill, Eric Banner. Whatever happened to him? Stephen Curry. I was going to say Stephen Curry. They've all kicked on. A later day Bill Hunter. Alan Brough.

Yeah. Alan Brough's in it. Peter Moon. Alan Brough plays, yeah, Peter Moon's sidekick. Yeah. Right. Yep. The German guy.

I tell you what. It's an accent. The Nugget is a lot better than Takeaway. Oh. Wow. Takeaway was the other movie I was involved in. Yeah. The two great films of the O'Neill canon.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Were you in, you've been in more movies than that, haven't you? That would... And you and your stupid mate. I was a scout leader in that. Right. But you were behind The Nugget, weren't you?

No, no. No, I wrote Takeaway with Marco Toole and you and your stupid mate. I didn't write The Nugget. Oh, right. But Mooney's just said The Nugget was way better than the one you wrote, so that's good. That's a good time.

When I say Takeaway, no. It's a long time ago. Is there a Dave O'Neill shared cinematic universe? Do the Nugget, Takeaway and you and your stupid mate all exist within the same world? Have you ever thought about... What, putting on a night somewhere? Putting on a night and putting on three films. No, I mean like Avengers style.

Like eventually down the line all these characters could come together in the one film. The scout leader, the takeaway, the butcher, and yeah, your character in The Nugget, all meeting up. Yeah, the road worker, the butcher, and yeah, the scout leader. Yeah, not bad. I think they'll find funding for it. I went into JB Hi-Fi and I asked for the Dave O'Neill box set. And the woman with lime hair and facial piercings told me to fuck off.

I think you're better off asking for the Dave O'Neill box set by going into the fish and chip shop, to be fair. That's special. Two scallops, mate. Potato cake. Lawrence, you've been such an important part of the Dum Dum Club over the years. You were on one of the earliest episodes

and you came in and you told us a whole lot of wild stories about shitting your pants in public and sex acts that you'd engaged in. We're sitting there 10 years ago clutching our pearls, just like, oh, my God, I can't believe this person came on and shared all these wild stories with us. And now, cut to 10 years later,

we're not only telling stories like that, we're going out into the world and trying to deliberately make them happen so that we can talk about them on the show. So thank you for setting that in motion, Lawrence. Ten years ago, who could have thought that you would basically fuck up our lives so much? I have very fond memories from the first episode when I had a motorcycle accident on the way into the studio at SYN in RMIT in Melbourne. And plenty of fun in between.

All the live shows, it's just been a real wild ride. Yeah, it was a bit of a metaphor for the rest of our career, sort of a car crash from then on. So, that's really sad timing. Yes, on cold winter mornings when my right shoulder's stiff, I always think ah, the Dum Dum Club.

What a couple of dead shits. They caused this. You'll be walking through Dubai Airport. Come on, pull over, mate. What's wrong with you? You've got a golden nugget up there. All right, guys, I'm going to wind this up because I'm at a commercial radio station

and somebody else needs the microphone to read. Are you going to play some Noiseworks in excess? Absolutely. John Stephenson's going to be here. Aussie crawl, things don't seem. It's ten past ten. Thanks, Mooney. Thanks, O'Neill.

Thanks for being part of it. Thanks, O'Neill. See you guys. See you, poof. Pleasure. Bye. See Thanks, Mooney. Thanks, O'Neal. Thanks for being part of it. Thanks, Dave O'Neal. See you guys. See you, poof. Bye. See you, homos. Bye. And there you have it.

The return of the Moon Man with Dave O'Neal. Yeah. Hell yeah. A couple of, do you call them boomers, Tommy? I don't know. A couple of the older, I guess, what would you call it, generation of comics that lowered themselves to us over the years and big parts of the show. Very appreciative to both of them.

Of course, Moon was part of the Moon and June duo that we had for many years. Yep. Some pretty brutal episodes that people really got into and um o'neill still 10 years and 10 years without getting in trouble for what he calls us on the show every week amazing yeah i think i think mooney might be the person i get most nervous around like doing the podcast with him because he just he's i think he's when he's on he's so good and i just i don't know he's he's a very intimidating person do you find him intimidating yeah for sure yeah get him in the wrong mood um yeah you're in trouble yeah um yeah yeah he's um

it's look i i find it funny even so far on the show of like how people treat us. Like this 10th anniversary thing, I think he's a bit more like, who gives a fuck? Like we're mates with Mooney but he's a bit like, okay, you've done 10 years. Cool, I guess. Whoop-de-doo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Move on. But there's few people that are funnier than him, I think, Mooney. So he's in Sydney. Of course, all of these things are on Zoom for this episode, so he's in Sydney. We haven't seen him for a long time because of the difference in locations, but good to see him for the first time in forever. And, yeah, O'Neill's always great as well.

But, yeah, two of our faves not that um yeah i mean all of our faves hopefully are pretty much on this episode to a degree um but yeah two of the funniest right there but speaking of one of my favorites from uh before i did comedy so the first time he was on the pod, I was cheesing in my little panties, so to speak. Oh, really? Yeah. Right. Okay. Okay, well, let's get two more of our favourite guests in. All right, and joining us now,

we have Dave Thornton and Fiona O'Loughlin. Ah, the two first ladies of comedy. Yes. Yeah, there we go. We are on the Mount Rushmore of comedy. Yes. Yeah, there we go. We are on the Mount Rushmore of comedy duos, me and Fee. That's it. Dave Thorne, he was the one comedian too young to pash in the hi-fi bar back in the day for me.

Oh, but now, but now. You never gave me an opportunity fee. Jeez, mate. Yeah. You were too fee. Jeez, mate. Yeah. You were too tall. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks to both of you for being part of our history,

of our 10 years, two of our favourite guests, two of our go-to guests. I mean, we've just been thinking about, like, what we've been over in the last 10 years, what's been happening to us. But it absolutely pales in significance to Fiona O'Loughlin's last 10 years. Jesus Christ. There is, like, you know, we've all moved house like twice or so,

but fucking hell. I went to Thailand. Yeah. Yeah, you've got to take a bigger bite out of life, you lazy. Yeah. Just get into it. Yeah. I mean, you've. Yeah. Just get into it. Yeah. I mean, you've done more in the last 10 years,

but we remember more of the last 10 years. So they're all leaving themselves out. Yeah, you've probably done more in the last one year than we've done in the last 10 to be completely fair. Yeah, that's a good point. I went back and did a gig in this country town in South Australia. I think it's Pinole, Pinaroo. Anyway, I walked into the chemist.

This was a couple of months ago. And the guy in the chemist show, not the chemist, the news agency anyway, he goes, oh, you're back in town. Good to see you. He said, Jake will be thrilled. I'm like, who's Jake? And he said, oh, I remember last time you were here, you missed your train home and he had to drive you all the way back to Adelaide.

He's not stopped talking about it since. I'm like, well, I forgot about it the next time. Well, you just introduced, I think you invented Uber for that small country town. They probably didn't have that before you. I think you invented Uber for that small country town. They probably didn't have that before you. Fee, is this why you went on the podcast so much? So you could just go, oh, so that's where I was.

Gotcha. Leased it all together. We've been the unofficial biographers of Fiona O'Loughlin's life for the last few days. Yeah, yeah. As long as she comes on this podcast, she can claim all these benders as tax-deductible. So that's good. That's something. I was talking about someone. Oh, yeah, I mentioned Dum Dum on Hugh's show yesterday.

Oh, yeah, we heard about that. Was there any recognition from Hugh's or was he just screaming at you, we've got to open up, and didn't hear you? Just dead air, dead air. As soon as I mentioned your name, everything went dead. Very appropriate. Hey, Forno, what are you doing? I mean, I don't know what I'm doing at this point in time,

but I wonder what Hughsey's reaction was like. Yeah, let's all stroke our chin and reminisce of something that never happened and maybe we can tune in. Imagine. Oh, jeez,

the dum-dum, I've never heard of it. I don't know what you're talking about. Kewsy, what do you think of the 16-week lockdown that Dan Andrews

has had us in? Do you have any thoughts about that, about how the situation has been handled? Oh, jeez, I don't really like it. Has he ever liked it? I had huge problems at the time.

I had a lot of problems. In 16 weeks, a bit too much, isn't it? COVID, don't like it. 19, bring it back. Maybe we'll do COVID-5. 19, a bit too high. Yes. COVID-19 named after the amount of office blocks that a Husey owns.

Wow, what a coincidence. That's true. Thorno, when you were working with Emily, my sister once, she put you on the phone as Husey. She said, oh, Husey's here and wants to talk to you. And I talked to you for 10 minutes thinking you were Husey. Oh, no. It is the best impression I've ever heard.

What was he saying that you thought was genuine? We've got to run away to get a fee, you and me. I'm going to leave my family for you. I'm a Nigerian prince called, a Nigerian treasurer called Hughsy. If you can send me some money via Western Union, Fiona, I won't be angry. I am dying for, I really want Daniel, what's his name to be famous? His name's Daniel.

We love him. Towns. Towns, yeah, so that you can do his impression because I think it's the best impression. Yeah. He is a comedian. I want some Daniel Towns. Very obscure.

Yeah, it is obscure for this show. But, yeah, if only he could be famous, not for his own good, not for the fact he's been doing comedy for 20 years, just so Thorno can make a crust impersonating him. Thorno's impression will land a bit harder, yeah. I do that all the time. I make up lists of people I'd love to make it just so I can hate them more. It's hard to hate the underdog.

Right, right. We've got a lot of Nick Capper smells jokes that would kill on the gala if only he was a bit more famous. So I'm with you. No, some personalities, you know, if they were famous, it would be just too funny for words. Yeah, yeah. Yes.

Let's try and say – why don't I just say one out loud? Take your time. Who would I love to be? I feel like there's a bit of self-censoring going on here. Yes, I do too. Sorry. Feel free to cut me off with anything you've prepared. It feels like you're trying to work out the intersection

between a funny name and being potentially libelous. It's like where's the perfect meeting in the middle of those two things? I think she's just trying to think of someone she likes. I think that's what's tough work. She's trying to remember any name, any at all on top of it. She's like, I can see her just mouthing, nah, hate that cunt. Nah, nah, hate that one. I mean, bringing it back to while we're here,

these guys have been doing a radio show for free for 10 years, so you don't have to worry about these two. Yeah, how about you just love that we become famous? That would be nice. That would be an idea. Have you two – Carl and Tommy. Yes. Have you ever been called to task by any of your relations about your show?

Good question. No, because – Not to task. I mean, my parents have come to the odd live show that they found some of the content to be quite objectionable. And does that freak you out, Tommy, when your parents are there? I guess it's easy enough to forget because it's a big enough room and I can't see them.

Tommy's parents are quite supportive. They come to quite a bit of it. Like, my parents have only ever been to one show in Maribor where they live. And even then I thought, oh, a bit of an effort for them. But they went to one because the whole time they haven't really known what this is, the whole time. They just sort of go. They're just sort of very mildly concerned the entire time.

And when they saw that one live show in mirabar they were like there seems to be a lot of people here okay maybe we can tune it down from mildly concerned to vaguely concerned so i think that's where they are now yeah yeah yeah i think my parents come to a lot of things even though they dislike or don't understand probably about 80 of it but they're just happy to be in the room supporting, which is, hey, it's good of them. You know, not many people do that. Yeah, lucky you.

That feels like most of your fans, if I've got to be honest, Tommy. That's what it sounds like. I can't even get my family to my shows, let alone listen to me on a podcast. Well, I mean, you know, they've probably heard one of your shows and it's 80 of your shows is bagging your relatives so i don't blame them like yeah i remember i remember i did that show it was called the divine miso and it was me coming out in cabaret trying to get a gay

audience and anyway i just drank my way through rehearsal poor old joel creasy was rehearsing i was directing it and um i think there was a hospital admission somewhere in the midst. But anyway, terrible show because I didn't learn my words. Can we actually narrow it down a little bit more, though? Like that's a pretty vague description. Oh, that was shocking, that show. It was called The Divine Miss O. And I, yeah, stuffed up the words on opening night

and it was an absolute disaster. And I remember being in a bakery in Hawthorne and grabbing the paper and I got one star. Oh, wow. Out of how many? I guess it was five I guess we've five stars are always in five

yeah one star it might have even been half a star it was so brutal I cried and cried I screamed in a bakery and ran away

but that was a show where you all of a sudden I remember you doing this show called The Divine Miss O and it was like okay you know how you love Fiona O'Loughlin talking about, you know, her time in the Northern Territory and her family and whatever. Well, anyway, this time she's going to sing other people's songs,

and everyone's like, what the fuck is going on? Like, she's never publicly admitted she's drinking so much as right now. She's clearly had a few bottles at the brainstorming meeting of this show. You can't just charge people 50 bucks to see you do karaoke, Fiona. There were only four songs in it. Oh, okay. The rest was supposed to be comedy. God, it was a mess.

Dear God. Anyway, Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves. That's the song I sang. It was a Cher number. Yeah. I do like that, just having a comedy festival show where it's like,

hey, the thing that you know me for will come and check me out doing something completely different. My comedy festival show in 2021, I'm going to be doing carpentry live on stage. I'm going to be building a table from scratch every night

and making an absolute fucking meal of it. I might bring in my magic. No one even knows I do magic. Is this in any way true? Are you teasing us? Do you do magic in any way? What's this bottle of vodka disappear? There we go.

I did magic in my first stage show in Alice Springs, remote control, and I made one leg disappear behind a tea towel to the car. Really? It was incredible, yes. Really? I did not know. Where did these skills come from?

Yeah. I did not know you knew how to do magic, therefore you're automatically some form of sex pest. That's amazing. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah, it's all adding up. It's amazing. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah, it's all adding up. It's all adding up now what you said about Thornton earlier

and trying to pash him and now we find out that you've been a magician this whole time. Yeah, it's all falling into place. Secret creep. Okay. Yeah. Wow. So wait, you want me to go on your cabaret show in a bikini

so I've got to walk out on stage, do I? I'm not following. What's going on? Great. What would you do, Thornow, if you're going to change it up totally? Go totally different to what you've done on a stand-up stage. What could you do?

What gifts have you got that we don't know about? Me and Tommy could change it slightly. We could start drawing big audiences. That'd be something nice and different for us. Try being funny. Yeah, we could try comedy. Yeah could start drawing big audiences. That'd be something nice and different for us. Yeah, we could try comedy. Yeah, try killing. That'd be cute. Oh, that's right.

That show I was telling you about, that show, Divine Miss O, my brother walked out at the 10-minute mark because he reckons I was pissed and he went to get his money back. Oh, your brother? That's right. Oh, my God. Yeah, and he got a free fucking ticket You broke my

He got a free fucking ticket He tried to get And he tried to cash in He tried to make money on your show He tried to make money off the back of my Oh my god Disgraceful That's great

What a grift I love it Was he writing reviews for the Herald Sun at the time? Was that his as well? That Now that is an amazing gift. If you go there, you put on a show, and because you put on a show, you get access to a backstage rider.

So you get drunk. You've got free drinks. Then your brother goes out, gets the free ticket, then refunds it for money. Both family members walk out having gotten freebie slash made money. What a fucking show. You just tour that from town to town. Yeah.

Absolutely what a show. That is a money-making machine. It is so brutal because I'm the age of your parents probably or nearly. So the age of my parents, their kind of support to comedy is so brutally honest. When I started out, whereas you kids have your parents loving everything you fucking do because you're spoiled but I did a show in in Sydney and I brought my mum and put her up in the hotel I was staying in and I was getting my hair done and I'm um reading the review of mine in the Sydney Morning Herald and this woman said it was a season I was doing at the playhouse

the opera house anyway that's why I brought my mum over and the review came out and said O'Loughlin is from Alice Springs and it shows um she's very she's very immature and she's mean to her children blah blah blah I'm in the hairdresser crying and I thought I'll ring my mum because she's in Sydney to see the show. And I read her the review and mum just paused and then she said, well, maybe they're right. Is that more of a diss for you or Alice Springs? Who should feel more insulted?

That's brutal judgment about Alice Springs, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What's Alice Springs ever done? I know. Alice Springs used to just get a kick in the teeth for no reason, just because I said it. And people go, oh, that's a dump. I've never been.

But your mum's probably reading that review and thinking, fuck yeah, I'm going to be able to make some money off this comp ticket tonight. This show's as bad as the reviewers say. I'm going to be pulling the old classic O'Loughlin grift on them. Yeah. No, it's just generational. I came from that generation.

They don't tell you that you're marvellous. Look, I'm sort of the same. Those Sydneysiders don't appreciate you doing the magic tricks and hiding one leg and all that. They don't appreciate it. Yeah. They can stick it. They can stick it right up them.

I did get a standing ovation at the Harold Park once. Oh. But that's the only show I ever did on Coke. All right. Jesus Christ. Yep. Just a bunch of dealers saying thank you very much. And I realised No I realise

I realise why Robin Williams was such a fucking hit Yeah anyone can do it It's not very sustainable Yeah yeah Yeah that's the only thing he had going for him Do you think you got yourself in a ditch with a drink? Try getting a hundred bucks in the hand But splashing three hundred for the coke up your schnoz before the gig

That's not financial sense That's not financial sense. It's going to be rough. Yeah, the deal with being like, I'll give you a discount if you can just chuck a plug in at the end of the show after you've killed and people have watched you just absolutely hold court and decimate. If you can throw out my digits, I'll be like, hey, this could be you, folks.

If you can just say, this is my first gig, but thanks to this little baggie, look what I just did. You could be like folks. If you can just say, this is my first gig but thanks to this little baggie, look what I just did. You could be like this. Thanks for this comedy course. I can't go back. I can never go back to Melbourne because when I woke up from the coma, one of my kids had gone through my phone and they found, I'd put

my cocaine dealer under some weird name. I can't remember what. Anyway, wasn't that good of a secret because they found him and they dobbed him into the cops. What? Really? They dobbed my coattailer into the cops.

This man Colin Payne who's in your phone. I'm trying to teach these children how to live in the new world. I'm like, you don't dob in your mother to her coattailer. Excuse me. Because now I'm trying to teach these children how to live in the new world. I'm like, you don't dob in your mother to her. Excuse me. Because now I'm walking around. I'm not in a coma, but someone's going to take out my kneecaps in Collins Street any minute. Excuse me, Constable, but I'm using my mum's phone, Mr Scarface.

If you can just ring this number and apprehend this young man. Mind you, was there egg on his face when the guy came back and said, well, you've just got to pay off the tick and then we'll throw him in the clink? You've still got $5,700 outstanding here, champ. How do your kids dob you in? It's like, we know that this guy's a coke dealer. How do you know? Because my mum buys off him every day.

Oh, okay, cool. No worries. It's also like you're in a coma and like your kid finding the dealer and it's like, what are you, lining up a nice surprise for her for when she comes out of the coma? Yeah, that's a whole different brand of smelling salts to get you out of a coma. That'd be nice. I wanted to go straight back in the coma when I found out that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now, Fee, I just want for our listeners now just to pull back the curtain because you're obviously a busy woman. I know later this evening you're going to be on the project. If you can drop any of these stories about that, it'd be amazing. Yeah, you drop this to Husey, drop this to Waleed and Carrie

And see what they think of it Once you do the Coke dealer story Just go Tommy and Carl love that on Dumb Dumb Club Boom, there you go Do a magic trick for us Do a magic trick for us on the project tonight Hey Fiona, Thorno Thanks very much for being on the project tonight um hey fiona thorno thanks very much for being on the podcast over the years we we love you both and you've um i love this podcast

i love little dum-dum i always have i always will thank you awesome thanks guys thanks fiona thanks thorno and thanks on behalf of the show dave uh thanks for, I think, at five you were on breaking the exclusive story of my real last name. The landscape of the show would be completely different without that input from you, so thanks a lot. It blew my mind apart. I felt like it needed to be aired. Oh, great stuff there. Two of our very dear friends, Dave Thornton,

long-time friend of both of ours and the show, and Fiona, someone who has shared so much on the show over the years. Yeah. Incredible. I mean, we did a lot of work early on with Thornton. He started sort of vaguely around the same time as us, so we knew him from way back then. But Fiona's someone that we got to know over the years. I remember when I first met her, and she's a bit of a big deal and a bit intimidating and whatever,

but she's lovely. Crazy but lovely. Full on but very, very lovely. And, yeah, shared so much with this audience over the years. And, yeah, another one who I know there's a lot of support and love for her in this community of people who listen. So it's always awesome to see any time she's on an episode, people's responses to it. And, yeah, what happened the last time she was on with Josh Earle where he got dredged up in the Daily Mail or whatever?

And she's got a bit of a hard time about that. People were very quick to jump to her defense and whatever else, which was cool to see. But yeah, we love Fiona. Great, great guest. And you know what? Great. This is also something that people might not know, I guess I've probably alluded to over the years.

But man, it is great when a guest comes in and is going to bring something along to the show. Because, you know, there's only 500 or so episodes I can come on and talk about shitting myself, you know, at the ballet or fucking whatever I go on about. So if anyone else comes in and has something to talk about and it means I don't have to get smashed in the head by a tram driver or fucking something stupid, awesome, please.

Well, isn't it most of the times we organize doing episodes with her it's the result of you talking to her or being at your gig or whatever else and her happening to mention i've done it again i've got some shit get me in there we need to do an app there is a bit of that not only coming in and having the stuff but demanding that the recording like requesting that the recording happen because she has yeah yeah that Yeah, yeah. That's the – I mean, that's the fucking dream. Also, I think she does a bit of that because she knows that she's only got that memory in her brain for a limited time before it gets absolutely destroyed.

She's like, I need to get this on the record before it goes. Yep, yep. It's a limited time. The magic ink is fading quick. That's it. That's it. All right. Well, yeah, man, what a, you know,

heaps of fun with all of our favourite guests on this episode. Let's get another two of our favies in. All right. And joining us now, we have special guests, Hamish Blake and Andy Lee. How are you boys? It's nice to be here, guys. It's nice to be here. We've never had you on the podcast together.

We thought we'd pair you guys up. Not sure if you've met previously. Hamish, this is Andy. Andy, this is Hamish. Yeah, it's like when you get to a panel show or something. Have you been paying attention? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen some of your stuff.

Big fan. Good on you, mate. A long-time rival of this podcast, Hamish and Andy, the Harlem Globetrotters to our Washington Generals. It's good to be face-to-face, finally. Which is probably pretty apt, because both times me and Andy have seen the Harlem Globetrotters. We've seen them separately, but the same thing happened, we realized, both times we saw them, right? Which was the guy goes for the half-court shot and misses several times.

Several times. Because Andy, I went and saw the half-court shots when I was in year 11 with Ryan Shelton. And I went much older in life. I went along in uni days, which is weird. I don't even get the guise of being a young kid that's excited about American basketball. Yeah, like they're at the glass house. My mum took me and we were just so excited to see them. And then like the guy does this thing where it's almost like a shot put shot

and he kind of puts the ball up next to his neck and he bobs up and down a few times. Then he kind of like chucks the ball. And I guess in training he makes it all the time. He missed the first, I missed the second, I missed like third, fourth, and just kept saying to the crowd like, hang on, hang on, hang on, I'm going to get it. And it got to this like super awkward amount of times.

And then five years later, he's done the exact same thing. Oh, wow. The exact same thing, right. I mean, that is what we've done a lot on our radio show. Just a lot of us like going, no, no, no, we're going to get a half-court shot. That must be hard on the patience of the Washington generals where they just keep fucking up the half-court shot. So then they've got to pretend they don't see the half-court shot coming yet again.

Yeah. Just like leaving the defense open. The Washington Generals were like the, I guess, like the Nazis on easy level of GoldenEye on Nintendo 64. Just running into walls, terrible shots, can't hit you, really giving you a sporting chance. Or the Nazis on easy level or Hogan's Heroes maybe as well. From memory, it wasn't always against the general.

There was a part where they showed off and then there was a part where they, like, it wasn't shoot around, like the warm-up and stuff. And then there was the game. And then the half-court show, I think, was at halftime. Right. Yeah, because it wasn there was the game, and then the half-court show, I think, was at half-time. Right. Yeah, because it wasn't during the game, which obviously the generals get a little bit of time off pretending to play.

I always thought the half-time rest was funny when you have to go and pretend to rest as well. Yeah, and also, like at half-time, they do all those stupid tricks and whatever. It's like, oh, let's do a half-court show. It's like you've just been doing that for a whole half of basketball. You guys just did a thing where you stood on each other's shoulders and did a backflip onto the hoop. The halftime show should just be like a legitimate normal game of basketball

that you just watch where there's actual stats. Some 12-year-olds coming out and playing a solid zone defense. Yeah, playing quite defensively. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A bit of treat. playing a solid zone defense. Yeah, playing quite defensively. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A bit of treat. Some actual manning up. Oh, nice.

Oh, this is weird. Sports bet taking the odds on the halftime show. Who's going to win? Yeah. How do you get knocked back for a job on the Washington Generals as well? Like, how do you mess up that audition? Isn't it great that there's, like like someone out there going, you know, what do you do?

Like, what do you like? You know, there'd be a PA teacher for sure. Be like, Mr. Kelvin, like, you know, what did you do before a PA teacher? Like, well, I was actually played in this team called the Washington generals. Like it was a job, you know, we made about the same money as you'd make doing cruise ships. I wonder whether everyone in the team gets the same,

is paid the same as well. Like are you all paid the same to lose or are there some better losers? Or does anyone join the generals hoping to get drafted to the Globetrotters? I want to show them what I can do. What about the person that joins the generals and goes, I've got this great contract, guys. It's a low base salary, but there's a high win bonus. So as long as we get a few of those, we're on easy street.

I'm getting $8 million a win. Like, I don't have to do any wins. Sure, it's $25,000 a year, but that win bonus, ooh, ooh, we just need a couple. Why doesn't every sport have like a Harlem Globetrotters equivalent? Like, why isn't there like an AFL team that's out there doing dumb tricks and shit, you know what I mean? Like every sport should just have like some version of a team.

Like a cracker this year. Torpedoes or something. Who only do 80-meter torps. That's all they kick. What about in swimming? You have one of those in swimming and it's just someone that's just, you know, occasionally has to be resuscitated every swim meet. Well, again, Eric the eel was close to that.

Yeah. But, yeah, it's true. I suppose that's what, like, you know, the big bash, I suppose, is cricket's attempt to go, they're all the globetrotters. Right. Yeah. I suppose every, when you think about every sport, has a really terrible loser.

I think that's what we're coming up with. It could well and truly just be the generals. Love to see Chess as Harlem Globetrotter. Just the grandmaster. Who can even make the pieces do flips before they land on the square he wants them to go onto. Yes. Just taunting you, spinning that pawn on his finger before go onto. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Just taunting you, spinning that pawn on his finger before he lands it down.

Yeah. Gary Kasparov with tats on his neck. You know, cool. Let's make chess cool. That would be good. Yeah. I think that's where he ended up after Deep Blue humiliated him. He went rogue.

He went bad. Hamish, you've been on many of our live shows. Andy, you've been on live shows of The Little Dumb Dumb Club 2. Hamish, we had you booked in for the live 500th episode that was meant to happen earlier this year, and I just realised I never emailed you to say that it wasn't going ahead. So I certainly hope that you didn't turn up to the Athenaeum Theatre on Anzac Day this year.

Apologies for that. That's my bad. Did, got arrested, got arrested for breaching the curfew or whatever. I remember when that was I remember when it was booked It was his son's first recital and he didn't get to his son's first school recital.

I miss my little boy On Anzac Day. Wow. Yeah, doing it for the troops. Doing it for the troops. Some of the kids got to be Anzacs. Others got to play the opposing forces at Gallipoli. It was a short straw to draw. Another Harlem Globetrotters versus Washington General situation.

Yeah. More revocations. I remember you guys, you booked that that show because remember there was like a week of uncertainty with the comedy festival where initially it was just like it was venue numbers it wasn't it wasn't a clear cancel now correct me if i'm wrong but i remember seeing on instagram you guys posted like guys no we're still going ahead like it's less than 500 seats so we're all cool to do it shouldn Shouldn't be a problem. And that was the last post I saw about it.

Have you guys noticed that around Melbourne particularly, the trams never updated any of their advertising? I suppose advertisers are all just pulled back, and there's still trams going around going, catch Peter Hellyer's show here. Yeah, Best of the Fest is still getting advertised almost a full year on. Maybe they're just going to keep it. Their numbers are going to be huge. They're going to be killing it.

They've had a year's worth of fans. That is a very sneaky little trick. Trams don't get advertised on. So if you're a Tom Gleeson, Tom Gleeson usually gets advertised up until September. So if you – I don't know whether it's like a comedy festival thing or just a tram thing, but if you want to sneak one of your radio ads onto a tram, just pretend it's a comedy festival show, whack their logo on there or something.

You'll get free advertising, I reckon, for five to six months later in the year. True. It obviously costs a fair amount of money to get the advertising off so they don't bother doing it until the next one comes along. You should, if you're smart, for comedy festival stuff, you should put your show up plus like Omo or something, another product that you can on-sell part of the billboard to.

Or have a book, like have a show and a book to just go, you know, got my show coming up, but also books available all year round. Because the other thing is, and Hamish and I experienced this on the ill-fated Hamish Dandy show on Channel 7. Well, I mean, just faded. I mean, it wasn't ill-fated. It was, some people might have loved its fate. It was a huge part of the population that enjoyed its fate.

But we had to, we were doing essentially like an Australia's Got Talent type segment, which like people come on doing dumb things. It was a really bad variety type moment in the show, which Hamish and I didn't like. And we were giving away a TV. And we were like. The prize for winning was like a. T-A-C or something. Yeah, T-A-C.

I think it was a T-A-C. It was a little bit like Funniest Home Videos, but shitter. But we were like, you know, a TV and a DVD player from our very good friends at TEAC. And so we were like, oh, great, you've got sponsors. That's good news, thinking the show's going well. Because, yeah, we felt rumblings that the show wasn't doing well. We were like, but that's a good sign, isn't it? We've got TEAC on board.

And it was our first time we had to do a thanks to a very good friends type sponsor. We went on to be pros at it for two decades of doing radio, commercial radio. But the funny thing was we went to the Channel 7 executives. Well, this is going really well. We know we've got a sponsor. And do you want us to do a bit more for TIAC? Like, should we, you know, bring the CEO's son in and show him around the studios? And they said, no, no, we actually, they said, no, no, it's not sponsored,

but it looks worse when you don't have a sponsor. So we actually had to buy the DVD. They were paying for retail. And the TV. And then we were just saying thanks to TIAC to make it look like they enjoyed being on board. Oh, great. Fake it till you make it. We need to do that.

Yeah. I just love the idea of the marketing manager of TIAC watching the show going, what the fuck is this about? And complaining about it. That would be good. Do not associate us. This podcast, obviously, thanks to Lamborghini and to Apple, all Apple products.

It also explains why it was a brand like TIAC, like not anything big like Sony or Samsung, because someone from Channel 7 had to take money out of petty cash and go down to Harvey Norman and just get like a fucking Sanyo or something. Like some bizarre like. And someone, some accountant going, actually, could we do, maybe we could have NQR as a sponsor instead, because petty cash is running low this week.

It probably would have changed the next week depending on, like, what the better deal was for a TV. Just be like, yeah, now it's a PalSonic. Yeah, PalSonic, yes. Yeah. Thanks to this week's sponsor, Expired Milk. Check it out, guys. They're on board.

They're big fans. We love them. We love them down here. Yeah, I'm not sure if dumpster diving can be a sponsor, but we're associated with that now. Yeah, sure. Yeah, great, great. Well, yeah, sorry about that.

Sorry you've missed out on your appearance fee for the 500th episode. Hopefully you're still keeping well. Hopefully the government have sorted you out with a little bit of sweet cash money replacing that. But we'll be back. Did you guys get JobKeeper? You could go, that's the week that we were going to make our money. And so that's just, could you just get JobKeeper based on that week for the rest of the year? It's literally, we rescheduled it to like, it's like in two weeks time.

And it's like, the reschedule show is in two weeks' time from when we're recording. And I hit up the theatre the other day and they were like, I was like, are you going to talk to us at some stage about rescheduling this sold-out thousand-seater show? And they're like, you can ring me one day about it if you want, I guess. I'm like, is this, how the fuck is this happening? They're just not fussed about it at all. They've all given up.

They've all given up. It's like airlines. It's just, I mean, Carl, you'd have had three or four flights to Thailand that you needed to get refunds on and stuff. But I mean, aside from the actual money back for the refund, you would have had like pain and suffering on your travel insurance. Can you sue for emotional distress for not getting to be in Thailand? Absolutely, I would.

But, I mean, as listeners of the show know, I am perpetually on standby for Thailand. I never buy a ticket. I am on standby the entire time. I did a very stressful standby, like 36-hour total trip to Liverpool earlier this year. And so every trip I ever take is on a knife's edge because I have – So there's someone at the airport like with the bat signal, but it's just a big singer beer sign and then they shine it

and you just burn to the airport and jump on the plane. Look, my entire life in airports is like seeing how many seats are left and then going, fuck, I hope about three people don't turn up. That's my departure lounge. That is a holiday well earned. Yeah. Oh, the holidays feel extra good, by the way. Once I get there, it is, fuck, it's tension filled.

There must be someone who works at like the Singapore airport that's really good with faces that is just convinced you're a drug mule. He's like, I see this guy like six times a year and he's always like sweating. He seems really, really stressed. So it's like constantly checking his phone. He's made you do a lot of maths in his mind. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's, I know, because they're like, oh, you must be some sort of like hitchhiker or something of the air. And I'm like, no, I've got plenty of money. It's just, this is the way I choose to live. So yeah, I know it. It's fun. That's excitement.

You add a little bit of excitement. You're basically like, you know, like you see there's like those two or three people that turn up to every footy team's home training and just like in any session, they're just on the fence, hanging there. You're like that, but for Ty Airways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back again. He just loves it. session, they're just on the fence, hanging there. You're like that, but for Thai Airways. Yeah, yeah. Back again. He just loves it.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm the ambulance chaser of the air. That's what I am. Yeah. So, yeah, it's pretty devastating at the moment. It is. There is no one more unhappier with the lack of air travel than me. But, yeah, but I haven't lost any money.

So that's something. Something we can all feel good about. Finally, a feel-good story out of the coronavirus. Carl Chandler's doing okay financially. The thing I'm literally looking into at the moment is like going, okay, well, there's no more Coastal Mill International Podcast Festival, which the Hamish and Andy podcast very nicely sponsored the stubby holders of about two or three years ago.

Thank you very much for that sponsorship. The least we could do. And we saw the return. Yes. We saw the return. Sponsorship. You see the kick in the overman. You talk about doing well.

Now we are in a very well-feathered nest thanks to the little ROI there. Surely you can see the spike in downloads coming from Southeast Asia about two or three years ago, and you know where that's come from. Very, very interesting. Not all stay, but enough do. A long enough tail, I think. I've been racking my brain going, okay, if there's no international travel for the next year or year and a half

or whatever it is, what could I do that's like, weirdly enough, the knockoff pirate version of the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival? So I think what I've been doing is I've been trying to hit up Darwin, places in Darwin going, you know, because it's so close to the equator. Surely that's the knockoff version. It's tropical. Yeah. I always thought you might be eyeing off a Ute master.

I don't think there's been enough Ute yeah I feel like there's not enough masters going on I think you

boys would go down a treat at the Denny Ute master yeah the dummy Ute master

yeah there's you know seen some of the people at our live shows I reckon

that fits more closely with the demographic than a fucking show on a tropical island does to be completely honest but having said Because, you know, seeing some of the people at our live shows, I reckon that fits more closely with the demographic than a fucking show on a tropical island does, to be completely honest. But having said that, if you see the people at our live show, we could also do a podcast festival at an anti-mask rally as well. I think that would be about the same thing as well.

Might get good numbers. Well, you'll be able to hear the last. There won't be any masks covering. For people that maybe haven't been listening back that long, we did, Hamish, we had you on an episode and we were talking about the first ever Koh Samui International Podcast Festival and you said on the show that you were going to get

branded stubby holders made for it. Hamish and Andy presents, the Little Dum Dum Club presents the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. You know, very funny riff. And, you know, we, of course, you know, thought funny thing to say. You know, we weren't expecting to hold your feet to the fire on it or anything like that. And then, like, three months later, just in the middle of the night,

I get an email from you going, hey, mate, I was just having a beer that was in a stubby holder, and it reminded me. I said I was going to get those stubby holders made for you. So I'll get them ordered now and leave them at the front desk at work for you. So then I had to go into Austereo to pick them up and say, like, I just turn up at reception and go, oh, Hamish Blake from Hamish and Andy City was leaving some stubby holders here for me. And the woman had no idea what I was talking about. Amazing that I didn't get kicked out of the building by security.

But got the stubby holder, so great gift, great endorsement of the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival, and also just a great prank to play on me, to have me completely embarrassed in a media institution. I recommend it to anyone. Just tell someone that you've got 100 stubby holders for them and have them turn up to your work. Yeah, yeah.

On top of that, I did like it. It was very generous of you, but I did like how, you know, it was all branded. It was like official sponsor. But very strongly worded at the bottom was Hamish and Andy will not be attending this podcast. Very clear that, like, you've put in 100 bucks or so, but we will not be attending this podcast vessel. Very clear that you've put in a hundred bucks or so, but we will

not be. We don't want anything to do with this disaster that's obviously going to tarnish Australia's reputation overseas. It was a weirder thing for me, Carl and Tom, because I get a call from home going, by the way, we've sponsored a little bit of you from the sponsorship

front. I couldn't wait until our next marketing meeting to bring it up. I'm like, oh, okay, that sounds cool. I've got a very persuasive PowerPoint that I want to show you. It involved me getting too drunk at a live show and getting into some sort of big dick, I know I've got a merch guy contest. And we do kind of keep a count of everything in our receipts, but it kind of falls on my side of the Hamish Nanny business.

Hamish is in charge of one-offs and vibe. Big ideas and whims. And I'm in charge of crossing Ts and dotting lowercase Js. And, yeah, when Phil goes, they've got a receipt here and he's in new zealand i don't know who often does this hey we'll buy something on the joint account he goes i'm following up a receipt here follow it to the cows come home phil has been bought now but if i if i remember correctly it was during it was at a time when i was heavy on the merch i i had a merch factory out of China that I'd put a few big orders into

for Hamish Andy. What part of China? I can't remember. Wuhan comes to mind. Something, yeah, some sort of. It was like a wet, a bunch of guys that made napkins to use at the wet market. Yeah, I remember ordering ping pong bats,

but they might have got mixed up with the order. Yeah, right. We got a whole, but they might have got mixed up with the order. Yeah, right. We got a whole bunch of stuff from this merch factory. I surprised Andy with it one year, like 50,000 napkins. And I think we had a 500 six-inch slight beveled edge rulers. We had some great stuff. You wouldn't rule with anything else. And that bevel on the edge wasn't too harsh.

It was just a slight bevel. So they were great rulers. They were great times. And I think I was able to just tack your stubby holders on the back of ours. I love the idea that Andy's got all these receipts and got notification of this. We're sponsoring this. What am I, TIAC? I didn't sign up on this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks to our very good friends, Amish and Andy. If we do another one, we don't even need to worry about getting these guys to sign off on it. We can just say that Tom Cruise is sponsoring the next Go Samui International Podcast. Great, great. All right, guys.

Well, yeah, thanks heaps for joining us. Thanks heaps for being A part of the show Over the years We really appreciate it Love it guys And yeah Hopefully see you Hey we'll get back there

We're going to be back We're going to be back soon Oh marvellous stuff How great of those boys To lend us their time Exactly Man And two of the

Two of the genuine greats Like Is there a Taking nothing away from Andy, but Hamish Blake. Is he the funniest man in Australia? Probably, I would say. I think so. He's got my vote. Yeah.

He's got my vote. Yeah. And awesome of – you know, you can't get two bigger people in comedy in Australia than those two. And, you know, gave them the text, responded within five minutes. Like, lovely of them to fit us in to a busy schedule. And especially when we were – before we talked to them, there was about an hour of tech problems. We were watching them over Zoom, sit there and have to get put through

while their tech people sort of fucked things up. Yep. And we're sitting there thinking, we're taking up an hour of Hamish and Andy's time. And they could have earned $2 million in this time. And they're sitting there having to wait for Zoom difficulties to get fixed, to talk to us for nothing.

But, you know, it'll all be worth it when they get those tech problems fixed up and they get to listen to us talk about Thailand for 15 minutes. think of the finish line boys it's all going to be worth it yeah yeah but um yeah very very nice of them and they've been great parts of um of those they've been great parts of live shows over the years um that's the first that's the first non-live episode we've had of hamish for a long, long time as well.

First time talking to him in a studio to some degree. Yeah. I think he's, yeah, he's only ever done one non-live one. I think we've had him on nearly, yeah, like a number of years in a row at our live shows in April.

And every time I hit him up and ask him to do it, he's always straight back to me and could not be, you know, more up for saying yes and, yeah, he's always so nice about it at the end. Sticks around at the end and has a beer. Yeah, truly, truly one of the greats, both of them. Two people who it's always, you know, any time they come up in conversation with people outside of comedy, it's always very nice to be able to go,

oh, and just genuinely awesome dudes. You know what I mean? Like I think people outside of comedy always want the dirt. They always want to know if people are cunts or not. But with those two guys, you've got to give it up. Supremely nice dudes. Supremely nice and supportive dudes. Absolutely. And maybe this is a nice

little juncture to sort of mention um for the last 10 years doing live shows you know the the culture of the little dum-dum club live shows um growing over the last 10 years i mean i guess we we did one about maybe see we did a very ill-advised one maybe six months into doing the podcast where we just thought, yeah, sure, let's just do a live show to all these fans that we've got. It's like, what the fuck were you thinking? Six months into a podcast. But we did fill the room, I remember. We were there going like, you know.

I mean, it was free to get in, but I remember us standing there and there being a line of people to get into the room. It was a small room, but it was still full. We were like, what the fuck's going on here? We're celebrities. Absolutely. It was one of the great feelings. Even now, looking back, one of the great feelings was us starting our show.

Look, in hindsight, I don't even know if it was a full room, but just it being – having people in there that knew who we were and we'd refer to things from the show and people would be like yeah and i was like wow this is incredible this is yeah this is this is absolutely nothing that we've had before through stand-up but i just remember going fuck this is just absolutely amazing yep yep um yeah and it was a great it was a great day and then over the years i'm trying to think when the live shows really kicked into that next gear i'm trying to think maybe one of the ones at five boroughs i remember there being a real point where it was like oh

these live shows are turning into something else altogether yeah can you remember the moment where you really felt like it was it was i mean i guess maybe the drunk cast maybe the year that we had like a great run where we felt like all the live shows were pretty blistering and we're a bit more in control of how to do them and we felt like we'd maybe like worked out the formula and then we had the the thought of like oh last night of the festival we should we should let's put on a little something extra for people who bought tickets to the actual shows. Like, let's just do like a fuck around thing that's not recorded and then we had this out of control, fucked show

that we weren't recording where it was just whoever wants to get up can come and get up and people were just doing all this stupid shit. I think that was the little period that cemented it for me of like, oh, this is a whole new beast. Yeah, yeah, I think you might be right. We did start to do a thing that we called, it was a bit of a legendary thing called the drunk cast. So the last night of the comedy festival in Melbourne,

we do this unrecorded drunk show where basically everyone was, you know, not drowning their sorrows, but certainly maybe celebrating the end of the festival. And it just, they would just get riotous and out of control. not drowning their sorrows, but certainly maybe celebrating the end of the festival. And they would just get riotous and out of control. And no one's keeping an eye on themselves because it's not being recorded. And you could be visual and whatever. So I think a bit of that then crept into just the normal live shows.

And they just got bigger and bigger and bigger. Yeah, that's a good point. And I think that's the lovely thing about the live shows over the years is I feel like every time we do live shows, they grow and grow and grow. We haven't hit that top of the hill where you go, oh, fuck, it's only downhill from here. It feels like they're still slightly, very slightly still going up. There's no decline, I think, in the live shows. So they've been an absolute pleasure.

If you've been to one of them over the years they're a bit of they're a bit of a party i think that's the cool thing about our live shows is they're they're they're a genuinely fun thing to be part of it's it's a little party you're part of the party in some small degree um and it's not some sort of like bit of theater or you know bit of thing that you're unconnected from it feels like it's this big one sort of breathing living beast that everyone's part of going interstate to do uh a live show for the first time i guess the well the first time we went anywhere interstate would have been sydney but i remember we relatively early on we felt like we were hearing from people in perth a lot i felt like perth was like oh yeah it took off as an audience in a big way where i guess outside of sy was the first place that we were like, oh, maybe this should be the next place we expand and do a live show, which felt huge

because it is such a far way away from Melbourne. It's costly to get to, et cetera, et cetera. But that being a big thing of like, yeah, could this be worth it? Could we do this? And going over there and having, again, not a huge room but a full room on the other side of the country was just like wow fucking hell this is incredible yeah i sort of forgot that tommy the the perth was that sort of place where it sort of we felt like it took off first i forgot

about that but um i think we were doing better there than we were in sydney for quite some time like absolutely perth was big time early adopter. God knows why. They're of all places. But God bless them. You're right. God bless you. If you're a Perth listener that's been coming from back in the day,

yeah, some super fun shows over there. You're absolutely right. Yeah, I did forget about my love of Perth. But, yeah, good on you. Good on you, Parth. I love you. We can't wait to get back. And given the state of the world at the moment, earth but um yeah good on you good on you path i love you we can't wait to get back and given given the state of the world at the moment it's probably the first place we'd be technically

allowed to go back to where you know to do a show at whether we're allowed to go into the states probably a different thing but um yeah man i cannot wait just look thinking back at the memories of the live shows particularly the ones where we travel oh just makes me wish i could hurry up and do it all over again but um cannot wait to come to wherever you live dear listener at home um great okay well look love the live shows of the you can't wait to do more of them um now we've had some big names on the show this episode already a lot of people have lent down you know from the top of the mountain giving us a little bit of a boost here's a couple of miscreants of uh people that we we took from the bottom of the ladder the bottom of the comedy ladder and we helped them up to the second last

rung on the comedy ladder let's get them in all right and joining us now we have nick capper and brett blake we've we've had some we've had some uh miscellaneous characters and now we've got the Now we have Nick Capper and Brett Blake. Yes. We've had some miscellaneous characters, and now we've got the big boys, the big names. The big week. The top end of town, you know? Yeah. That's it.

I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I want to impress these guys. I want them to have a good time on the show. I'm going to stick strictly to my notes. I've made a few notes so I don't sort of lose it mid-interview and just fan out and try and ask for an autograph through Zoom. So, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Save me, Tommy, if I flounder. I've been nervous since we had Weird Al on the show. Hamish and Andy, more like Open Micah and even bigger Open Micah. Nice. Got him. There you go. Okay, sorry, I didn't start strong. Can we record again?

That should be your catchphrase. Start weak and end weak. That's how to do comedy by Nick Capa. Capa, we've seen you stand up. We were assuming that's how you're going to start. Rule bad, and then it gets worse, and then it becomes bearable. To be fair, I didn't know that Kappa knew which bits were bad. I just thought he assumed that that's all sort of the same.

No, guys, it's all part of the art. As a famous comedian once told me, don't open strong, don't close strong. Right, great. It kept me going for a long time Who was it who told you that? Yeah who was that? I don't know

Just myself I think Yeah God he's good on his feet If that's what you call Art Nick Capper I'm with ScoMo Cut the fucking funding Get it out of there

We don't need it You know what they say Nick Capper As good on his feet As need it. You know what they say? Nick Capa, as good on his feet as Stephen Hawking. That's what they've always said about him. That's the second book. If ScoMo saw me, he'd be like, fuck, there is enough art in Australia. This is a masterpiece. No more funding.

Right. It would have an opposite effect. That's why they've gotten rid of the funding. Yeah. Right. Okay. He's like, this is good enough. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. He's like, this is good enough. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like when you've built a building and it's finished, you don't put more money into the building of the building. It's done. It's finished. You don't put a second or third roof on top, do you? There's already a great roof. Yeah.

Yeah. Man, who needs to see the Mona Lisa in France when you can just see it on stage with a big dick attached? when you can just see it on stage with a big dick attached. I actually got kicked out of the Louvre for trying to put my own painting that I'd done of the Mona Lisa's dick under. I kind of went up to where it is and tried to put that on the wall, just underneath, like a continuation of the painting. I was like, I actually found it.

I unearthed this, and they kicked me out. The French never respect our culture. Yeah unearthed this. And they kicked me out. The French never respect our culture. Yeah. The French are weird. They like Jerry Lewis, but they don't like Dassault's penis addition to the Mona Lisa. What a country. Yeah. Very heteronormative,

the Louvre, I have to say. Pretty transphobic to kick me out. Just for what they consider to be the crime of attaching a penis to the Mona Lisa. Really transphobic to kick me out for just for this just for what they considered to be the crime of attaching a penis to the mona lisa yeah really transphobic stuff yeah sacre bleu um thanks for being thanks for being part of our little 10th anniversary show nick capper and brett blake now look we've got some big names on this show um that are kind enough to do this but you guys are you guys are probably the other end of things where we've given you a bit of a go.

You've actually got a little bit of help from this show rather than the other way around where we've gotten help off other people, I guess. Well, I like to think of it more as me throwing you a bone. But yeah, potato, potato, whatever way you want to say it. Sure. Okay. Well, you're dyslexic in your perceptions of the world as well. Before I was in this podcast,

I remember sitting under the Christmas tree going, oh, please, this year can I have more lonely dorks in my life? Yeah. Well, we're here. You're welcome. Having said that, Kappa, who – now, you're recording this in your house where you live. Now, who lives in your house at the moment? Man, yeah.

What sort of people are they? How do you know them? Before you guys got me to do this episode this week, I was like, oh, think about what Dum Dum has played in your life or whatever. And I'm like, I can't get away from this fucking show. So, yeah, my flatmate, he's a listener. Your flatmate you met in Koh Samui at the Koh Samui Podcast Festival and your girlfriend you met at the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival.

Yeah, I'd regard her as flatmate as well at the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You haven't committed yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're still going steady, casual well. Right, okay, yeah, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You haven't committed yet. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're still going steady, casual thing. Right. Yeah, yeah.

Nothing official. No, I met her that way. Are they her words or your words, mate? Yes. Anyway, moving on. She's using you as a 50% off discount to get into live shows for dumb, dumb club. I believe, I believe her words were.

Yeah. And even if, even if that's not enough, um, our bubble buddy, cause we're in COVID is also dumb, dumb fan. So yeah. Great. Fucking great. So everyone in your house is just constantly saying to you, what's, what's Tommy and Carl really like?

How do they get their ideas? That's your life 24-7. I was going to say, Carl, they've met you. They know exactly what you are like. Yeah. Cool. A cool dude. Yeah, it definitely starts with C, but it doesn't end with O.

Well, Cappy, you were a fan of this before you were on it because that was our first kind of meeting. I remember seeing you when I knew you from doing stand-up before we'd had you on as a guest. You would turn up to our live shows having paid for a ticket. Yeah. There was like a couple of times we were on the joint maybe. Yeah, I paid for a ticket at the joint.

I remember it was insane. People going crazy people buying shots i remember like this is how nerdy i was i was like oh wow reed parker's at the bar that is cool a listener of the show that does some photoshopping yeah you were looking around that room and all those crazy people and going god i, I'd love to live with between two and three of these people someday down the road. Did you even look at the stage at any point, or were you just looking around the crowd going, oh, cool, what a line-up?

Yeah, yeah. Is this a live show or a rental inspection? What's going on here? Can I get your autograph? And by autograph, I'm just getting you to sign on to my lease. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's exactly it. And do you know what?

Here's a weird thing I remembered, right? A lot of people were creating dumb-dumb parody Twitter accounts, like dumb-dumb in the 80s, dumb-dumb whatever. And I created one that was – maybe you guys don't know it was me – was DumDum There Will Be Blood dedicated fans account. So it was – That is niche. That's very niche.

I tried to find the account, and that's the first thing you guys wrote, I think, was, yeah, this is very niche. I don't know who made this. It's fucked. What would one of the tweets be? What's an example? I think one of them was, Carl goes deaf. Tommy beats him to death with a rolling pin.

Something like that. Man, I can't believe it didn't really kick off. Yeah, bring it back. Yeah, bring it back. Some good shit there. I don't believe it didn't really kick off. Yeah, bring it back. Yeah, bring it back. Some good shit there. I don't mind it, though. Just at the end, after he's bludgeoned him to death, Daniel Day-Lewis, instead of going, I'm finished, he goes, see you, mate.

There will be dumb cunts. Nice. Yeah, so it's pretty cool, actually. It's the dream. So you've gone from buying tickets to our show to, yeah, going out with one of the fans, living with another one. Now, you've been, Nick Capper, on quite a journey. Obviously, long-term listeners will know.

Well, they themselves funded your trip to London via China, via the rest of it in the tuxedo. You've gotten as much out of this podcast as probably us oh yeah for sure yeah i i love it like it's so it's been so cool when we went to london like and i went all through all around the world uh in the tuxedo and it was just a dream adventure it was just such a dream you know to just be – it was most people's nightmare and it was a nightmare and I felt like dying but it was still a dream, you know. Just to recap, the fans paid, listeners paid for you for all the sort of expenses

to get flown over and all that sort of stuff. As long as you wore the tuxedo nonstop, had your hair flattened out, had lipstick on. Oh, that was Blakey's contribution, I believe. Yeah, yeah. The lipstick was good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The real cherry on top.

It really tied the whole outfit together. Yeah. I like to make sure he's got an ensemble. People really know who he is. But I think we should give a special mention to the real heroes of that journey is anyone who was sitting in a fucking two-minute know who he is but i think we should give us give a special uh mention to the to the real heroes of that journey is anyone who was sitting in a fucking two minute radius of nick capper because he would have stunk up a storm oh christ on a plane god imagine i remember i was in germany

i got on a train in austria or somewhere and the nicest guy sat next to me and i was kind of rude to him because i just wanted to sleep i couldn't and i felt all itchy and stuff so i was kind of rude to him because I just wanted to sleep. I couldn't and I felt all itchy and stuff. So I just kind of didn't pay much attention. He was trying to strike up a conversation. And so he just got this stinky, rude dude next to him. Just fucking. I missed the start. Was this on the Skybus on the way to the airport?

Was this on your couch at home? I would have been happy to talk to anyone at that point. No one wanted to talk to me at that stage. Yeah, great. So, Cappy, that was you going to London. You ended up in London with us, which was great. Some great shows over there. And, in fact, basically Tommy and I basically did the shows

and then went home, but you went out and partied afterwards, crazy all night. And so you must have made some contacts over there, over in the UK. Oh, yeah. Oh, man, the hospitality was immense. I can't tell you the mountains of hospitality that I received in the UK. Name a few of the culinary delights you experienced, Nick.

A lot of frosted things? There's too many, too many to list, Brett. Too many. I can't pronounce them. Old British words, everything. Charlie was one I thought of. A lot of South American delicacies, I presume. Yeah.

Pretty chilly there the time of year we were there in July. A lot of snow, as I remember. Yeah, it was. Yep. Straight from the peaks of Chile. I would have assumed that your clothes would have been a lot cleaner given all the washing powder I saw floating around you at that point. Yeah.

Terrible dandruff problem, by the looks of you as well. Yeah, really around the nose area. It doesn't really normally hit those hairs, but yeah. In the moustache. Yeah, how did your hair not have dandruff, but your moustache did? Very weird. That was the only time of, oh, I felt like a rock star, but that was when I felt like a real rock star.

Everyone in England was so nice. I couldn't believe it. Just everyone was like, hey, mate, buy me drinks and stuff and whatever. And I was floating on cloud nine. I'd just done the best adventure and it was all because of you guys. Thank you so much. It's worth getting a message every hour from Carl going, fuck you, which has been my life the last four

to five years. Hi, fuck you. Or sitting down to a nice dinner. Sitting down to a nice dinner at night when I've only got like one night off in three weeks, then Carl sending me a message. Can you get up in five minutes? Be here. Or get on the pod.

It's all more than worth it. Sorry for offering you work. This bloke in England, Ross, he's a real nice fellow. He was a very hospitable gentleman, and he said that maybe he's making a film where I play a Scottish soccer player. So he might be trying to fly me over to England to be in this film. So I don't know what is going to happen. He wants to fly you over to England to play a Scottish soccer player.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? It's more efficient. There's no one close to Scotland there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I want this trip, so guys, let's just from here on say that I do a great Scottish accent. I have a high interest in football.

Can you give us a little bit of an audition of A, your Scottish accent, and B, some Scottish terminology? So let's put you in the situation right now. What's your character's name again? I don't know. Scotty McScotland? Scotty McScotland. Scotty McScotland. Okay, great. Good to see you've learned the script.

Yes. So, Scotty, well done. You played well today. How do you think the team played? What were the strengths and weaknesses of the team you played for? Oh, we kicked a goal, you know. We kicked a goal. Impressive. Very hard. He kicked a goal. Impressive.

Very hard. He knows the word goal from soccer. Can we edit this out, please? I really want to get this. No, no, leave it. Is this Nick Capper or Daniel Sloss? I can't tell the difference. I mean, I reckon if he stood up and got his little dick out,

we'd probably know the difference. Okay, well, we'll give Capper a break now because he needs to sort of slowly move out of character. And it's going to take a while. He's so deeply embedded in Scotty there. But, Blakey, again, you were... I don't know if you came to live shows, but you'd listened to the show before you came on

because I remember the first time I ever met you, you bought merch off me. Yes, yes, Carl. I also remember the first time I met you. It's been stuck in my brain. It was actually brought up on the first live Perth show I did. A young comedian from Perth. I'd been painting my nan's house for about a month

and I decided to just get into podcasts. So I started on episode one of the dum-dum and i think i worked through like must have been doing eight episodes a day or something crazy like that and then um two months later i saw on the on a i think it was the laugh resort thing they said you know carl chandler and i was like oh i hope i get on that lineup got on the lineup and i was like man it's going going to be exciting. I get to meet the guy that's on this podcast. It's going to be really great. And I walked up to you.

I said, hi, mate, can I get a T-shirt and the thing? And then you go, oh, are you Brett? I go, yeah, yeah, I'm Brett. And you're like, don't ever fucking send me fucking emails asking for gigs. No one wants vouchers on their emails. It's fucking annoying. I was like, yeah, great to see you're a fucking cunt. Awesome.

Oh, and Tommy, guess what? You're not fucking getting away this easy either because I haven't brought up this story about one Mr Allsop yet and I was saving it for a special occasion and here's the story where I first met you. Now. Oh, nice. Young Brett once again goes to Melbourne.

I was like, well, Carl's a bit of a cunt. I can't wait to meet the other half of this podcast. So I went to see your solo show, the one with the Vegemite thing about you having cancer or something. I don't know how many years ago. That's been the last three. That's the only two things that have ever happened to me. I went there with my partner and we went and saw the show

and then a friend got me into Festival Club. I'd only been doing comedy a year, year and a half, two years or something like that. And you were there, you were at Festival Club by yourself. I was at Festival Club by myself. I was at Festival Club by myself. I'd just seen your show. I was like, man, this is, I feel like we've got a connection. I laughed, I cried.

This is the guy. I walked up to you. I said, G'day, I'm Brett. Really enjoyed your show. And in classic Festival Club move, you went, yeah, looked over my shoulder and then went okay bye and then just fucked off and walked off walked off to the bar and had a drink with no one else and i was like well it must be genetic they both must be fucking cunts jesus christ

great because that is that's the. Because that's the classic move. That's the classic move of a gig after your show is to go and meet up with other people and that's what people get hung shit on for. You'll be meeting up with your peers and they'll be looking over your shoulder, looking for someone better to talk to. But for him to see no one is better than to talk to you.

Just walk to an empty bar. It's a bad review for Tommy, but it's also a bad review for you, to be fair. Yeah, when's the story get embarrassing for me? That's fucking awesome. I stand by it. I'd do that now and I know you well. That's an alpha move and I respect that. Brett, was this when you had the fringe and the cardigan?

Because I wouldn't have fucking thought love it no I had the leather jacket back then I was a real bad boy this was Brett Blake undercover pretending he wasn't a bogan this is something I quite enjoyed I love this too because it's like

I don't know how close together these interactions were but it's like in presumably whatever space of time period, you've been just absolutely disrespected by both of the hosts of this show, and yet you continue to listen. You suck, dude. I didn't say I continue to listen. I went up to the point, and then I was like, they're both cunts, fuck them.

And then I was like, I rang my missus like, you know that cunt show we just saw about the, wah, wah, wah, I've got cancer. Yeah, I wish it took us from his fucking life, you know? Well, I'm sorry. It's like, man, what is, I'm from fucking Perth and I'm getting disrespected by two dorks from Melbourne with a fucking shit podcast. I'm like, fuck them, fuck Melbourne. See you later.

Great, great, great. Well, I'm sorry, Brett. That was, yeah, sorry, Blakey. That was back, well, you know, we've changed, just like you've changed. No, you haven't. We're great blokes now. Just like, no, we have. Sure, let's say we have.

But you were different then. You had the short hair you had uh uh your material was basically swapping swap the word jet ski for protractor back then you were this really weird undercover fucking nerd or something back oh i had a flip chart is that what you mean by protractor yeah oh yeah but yeah yeah oh yeah i used to i used to have um my spiky hair. I used to have, I used to try, I used to wear a cardigan on stage to make me look more artsy. And then I used to have a flip chart with all my jokes on a flip chart.

Mate, there's still bangers in there. But still, the jokes were still fucked. Like, the first joke was, like, something about having anal sex with Delta Kudram. So it was still, it was still crook. People were like, check out old Artie McGee. Then I'd be like, I just had anal sex with Delta Goodrum. Like, what a dork. Great.

I love that you're so drawn to people with cancer. Tommy Daslow, Delta Goodrum. What is it? Yeah. I can smell it on people. Except in that interaction before, it was me fucking you in the ass. But you guys are two of our all-time favourite guests and you go together.

You go together. It's Blakey and Capper, Capper and Blakey. You spend a lot of time with each other, like at the Coastal Movie Podcast Festival and a lot of gigs that we do. You seem to almost come together all the time. But Capper, you've even stayed at Blakey's house in Perth, haven't you? Yeah, yeah, I've stayed there.

I've stayed with his parents and also in his nana's caravan. I respected his nana's caravan by getting naked and then asking Brett about a certain painting on the wall to see if it was crooked or not, and he'd turn around and he'd go, oh, Jesus Christ. Well, this actually brings up the next part of the story, how we're always together, because my mum happened to think for a while that we were more than just friends, Nick.

Have I told you this? No. So that year I was telling mum and dad, I was like, you know, because my dad loves Nick because they both talk about birds for half an hour, actual birds. It's boring. About birds? About actual birds?

Yeah, actual birds. And dad's like, what do you reckon about this one? And he'd be like, oh, that's like a peregrine falcon. And dad's like, yeah, nice. They get along real well. falcon and dad's like yeah nice um they get along real well but uh one year i was uh i was headed to perth and i didn't know at the time but one of the girls i was seeing um put it's grotty but i'm gonna tell the story one of the girls she put the girl i was saying put um undies her undies in my suitcase and i didn't i wasn't aware of this right when i got to perth

i did all the washing hanged everything up on the line and then i was telling mom i was like nick nick's doing nick keeps getting naked all the time he's doing the naked man it's pretty funny and then my mom kept seeing like women's undies on the clothesline and she just started to really just fucking, the cog started to tick and she kept just asking me, like, are you sure you've got a girlfriend? Like, you know, if you don't like women, I'm like, what are you talking about, Mum? I don't understand what's going on here. And she's like, if you and Nick are gay, that's okay.

We're not fussed. So good. If you're up to weird things wearing women's underwear, I don't care. I still love you. You're still my boy. I'm like, oh, my God. I also love the idea that in Perth that's how you spot someone's gay. They're wearing women's underwear every day.

That's the giveaway. That's the thing. Or they're just not wearing Monster Energy drink clothing. Yeah. Look at these two gays coming back from Melbourne I also love this too That's so funny too Nick wears women's underwear and you, Brett

wash them for him Once again I'm getting cucked by people on this podcast I love the idea that you would have gone like Mum, that's not Kappa's underwear You can tell by the fact it's on the clothesline Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love the idea that you would have gone like, Mum, that's not Kappa's underwear. You can tell by the fact it's on the clothesline.

It's clearly been washed. That can't be Kappa's. Also, the only thing that annoyed me, I was like, Mum, if I did swing that way, as if I couldn't do fucking better than Nick Kappa. You know what I mean? Like, I love you, but Jesus. I mean, I'm up here, brother.

How well do you think you could go in comedy? What do you mean, like, who I could get? I mean, I'd be probably Tommy Little or something like that. Oh, you could fuck Tommy Little, you reckon? Yeah, yeah. Wow, okay. A Dave Thornton? Thornton's too tall.

Maybe a Little? I'd only have sex with a man, but turn one that is not gay yet. Do you reckon you've got that power, Brett? Man, you're really aiming for the stars getting the sky here, all right? Start with the gay persons first. But Kappa, you wait till you see how fancy Blakey's underwear would be. It would turn any man. Yeah. Oh, man, that's so funny.

The first gay underwear. It's like my mum shouldn't have known that they weren't your underwears. There wasn't like 17 skid marks down the gart with a fucking, like a Snickers packet somehow caught in it. Yeah, skid marks on both ends. Just one hole blown out. I got banned from the washing machine because I ate too many lollipops. Yeah, we know you've been banned from the washing machine.

Hang on a minute. What? You've been banned from a washing machine to start with. Yeah, the clothes washing machine because I ate too many lollipops. And I kept the sticks in my pocket and clogged up the machine. So I broke the machine. I didn't empty my pockets. Did you steal this story from the Little Rascals or something?

I remember when I went to... You're fucking nearly 40, Kappa. When I went to Kappa's house once, he lived with Nighty at the time, and Nighty comes out and goes, Hey, guys. This is a comedian, Ben Knight. Another comedian, Ben Knight, comes out and goes, Guys, I just opened up the washing machine

and I found a Snickers wrapper, 20 cents, a Tarzo, an Oddbod, a Yo-Yo. He's like, whose stuff is this? I was like, besides the 20 cents, I reckon it's all Cap's. Yeah. Great. All right. Great Alright Well We'd better wrap it up

Thanks boys Thanks for joining us Thanks for being Thanks for having us Honestly thanks a lot I really appreciate you guys I really love the podcast I love being included

You've got a great fan base I know you're both cunts And you give me shit all the time But I love you And congratulations Thank you. Yeah, thank you, guys. Fuckheads, got ya!

God damn. I'm going to go over there and get a beer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, same. Thanks, guys. Thanks for, you know. You're welcome for your girlfriend. Yeah, no worries.

Yeah. Take her, please. No, it's been awesome like i yeah it's been so good and i i look for i reckon rather look when pop groups you know you know when you've got a band like the kings of leon or something and they start getting in the top in the charts that's when they wind it back a bit you guys are gonna go crazier and more extreme okay, that's when they wind it back a bit. You guys are going to go crazier and more extreme, okay, because that's what you've been doing so far. So you've got to see more and more loose shit because it's been going nuts.

You guys have actually – you're actually creative, which, Carl, I didn't think there was a creative bone in your body. I thought it's like asking the Terminator to paint the Mona Lisa, but you have a few times, so it's good. I like how you just said Carl was creative, and you're like, yeah, Carl's so creative. What happened last week? Hey, Nick Carr, can you whack your fat dick into this mould?

Man, that should be in the Louvre. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Terminator wishes he could come up with something as good as that instead of just shooting people. Yeah, so thanks, guys. No, it's been awesome, and looking forward to more years to come. Yeah, we'll have to work on where to send you. As soon as the planes start up in the air,

you'll be on the first one headed to the fucking South Pole or whatever. Can we do another Koh Samui festival, for the love of God? headed to the fucking South Pole or whatever the fuck. Can we do another Koh Samui festival, for the love of God? Yeah, I reckon someone mentioned this. The next trip isn't tuxedo. It's Brett and I dressed as characters from The Wizard of Oz. That would be good. That would be good.

But there's only one character that has no brain. Do you both dress as him? That would be good. But there's only one character that has no brain. Do you both dress as him? Oh, Carl. Fucking classic Tin Man Carl over here. No fucking heart. I was going to say Tommy's a lion with no courage,

but he had no qualms looking straight past me at that bar that night, so he's full of courage. Follow the yellow brick road. Out of this fucking dull conversation. He's Dorothy. He was talking to you and just clicking his slippers together going,

no place like home. Get me the fuck out of here. All right. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Thanks for all your help. Love you. Love ya.

Wonderful stuff. And you're welcome, boys. You're welcome your help. Mate, thank you. Love you. Love ya. Wonderful stuff. And you're welcome, boys. You're welcome for everything. You're welcome. Despite the fact that I don't think they really thanked us for anything then. In fact, they just tried to make us look like cunts and put a fair bit of mayo on a few stories there. Shout out to Brett Blake's sponsor, Kraft, I assume.

I assume he's getting paid to put that amount of mayo on some of those stories but um yeah i'm gonna get you good when i didn't know you at all i came up and talked to you when you're at a bar minding your own business and you didn't want to talk to a complete stranger wow my bad boy do i feel like a bit of a cunt yeah well yeah oh look his conversation with me was slightly different to the to the comedic way he he um told it then but sure okay yep then i stabbed brett blake a stranger i walked up on stage and i got a gun and i shot him up the ass that's what happened there in that story do you remember this i meant to bring this up uh when we were chatting to them um when we were in kosamui i i think it maybe was the last

one the the last one that we did um we were sitting there with kappa and he was talking about his podcast phone hacks with uh mike goldstein where they get a guest and they go through people's phones and uh he was just he was having a big complaint about having a book guest for a podcast and he was like if i ever if i ever another podcast, I'm not having guests on it. Having guests on your podcast is the fucking worst. God, it's a nightmare. It's so much work for so little thanks. Just sitting there launching this tirade in the middle of a trip

that has been paid for for him by another podcast. I just remember us looking at each other and going, yeah, we're with you. Why would you ever fuck around with ungrateful guests if you don't have to? Yeah. You know, a festival at which he met his long-term girlfriend. Yeah, no worries.

No problem at all. A guy that can't pay his rent normally, but here he is on the other side of the world, getting drunk whilst doing his job. Nice. But we do love Blakey and Kappa. Yeah, love those guys. Two people we're only too happy to help along from.

You know, there's plenty of people above us on the ladder that can help us. We're only too happy to be, to find a pairing like that, that are pretty much the only, you know, some of the few comics that we're only too happy to be to find a pairing like that that are pretty much the only you know some of the few comics that we can give a hand to that we're that low on the comedy ladder but we can help them so always always love to help our mates out um thanks to the show and love that that you guys then you know you pick your favorites guests that we've had on the show and um and, and we'd love to promote those guys. So plenty of you guys have got on board for them. Yep.

Yep. Love those guys. And, uh, yeah, good. And yeah, I mean,

that relationship doesn't work without you guys, the listeners, um, doing the right thing and, uh, you know, letting us know where, you know,

we always hear from people. Oh, I saw, saw a, a wear t-shirt in the front row or the second row. You know, sometimes it's sometimes the people saying that to us are excited. Sometimes they're sort of bemoaning that fact as something

that we should feel guilty about or that they should be angry at us for in some capacity. But, yeah. I mean, sure. It's always great when we get back. Sure, the people in the burger T-shirts in the front row are throwing racial epithets at the stage, but we didn't tell them to say that.

They just happened to have bought one of our shirts, okay? We didn't write their lines. Not overtly anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all implied, but you can't pin us down for anything specific. But yeah, look, that's just part of the podcast like i said um love that mix of and i think a lot of listeners like that mix of you know getting people on that um they've heard of that are people from from tv or people from the stage and and then they get to discover new

people like like those two um so that's great i i love that that part of the show because a lot of the time let's be honest you know people that are famous are a bit more guarded and they're not going to come in and tell us about the time they shit their pants at a funeral or whatever. But you're going to get someone like Blakey or Kappa in there and they're only too happy to talk about the time they had sex with their auntie. So you need those sort of people on the podcast, absolutely. And that story applies to both Kappa and Blakey. But, yeah, thanks, boys.

Okay, well, the only way is up, let's be honest, from those two, both in quality, in profile, in everything. Let's get some better people on the pod. All right, and joining us now, we have Nazeem Hussain and Jen Fricker. Hello. Happy 10 years. And now no one can have a go at us for lack of diversity on this exact episode.

So thank you for being part of that, both of you. Three boxes. Yeah, cheers. How many diversity boxes have we taken today? You are Indigenous and you are woman. And bisexual. So that's three. Oh, we've got that going on.

I'm coming out of that. I'm not. I'm not bisexual. I'm just Muslim. So me and Tommy have got the disabled. So, yeah, there's a lot going on in this episode. I think that's all of them, isn't it? That's kind of all of them.

Wow. Who do you think the Dumb Dumb Club is the wokest podcast? So what? We're outing ourselves. We're outing ourselves as mentally disabled on this episode. Tommy's also got shit eyesight, so that's a physical disability there. I'm old.

That's something. We need a non-binary. We don't have a non-binary. Naz, if you could come out as non-binary right now in this segment you'd really be helping us out a lot. I am post non-binary.

What does that mean? Please refer to me. I am now just call me he. I'm zeroes and ones. Oh right. In the matrix.'m right you went back around yeah what are you jen i'm the matrix baby i don't know you're the matrix yeah right oh i think yeah that's how diverse we are yeah i don't exist anymore that's cool yeah yeah happy first simulated guest i'm an avatar that was created to fill diversity quotas in the media.

Yeah. People don't give enough props to that old show David Tench Tonight for being so progressive. The first show to be progressive enough to feature a completely non-existent person on it, you know? And sure, the simulation was of an old white man, but... I know, that's the thing. If you can simulate anybody for television,

by the way, shout out to Andrew Denton who created that guy, but if you're going to create someone fake, why would you create someone that is already on television? Yeah. Was that the joke of the whole thing? That it was just like, let's just make another white man? David Tench wasn't a real person, by the way. No, I know, but if you're going to make someone up.

Do you know the TV show The Simpsons? It wasn't weird science. David Tench is everybody else on TV already. Yeah. Right. Have I missed the point? I see what you're saying. You know what I mean.

That would have been better if he had created an artificial Muslim guy to be the host. Yeah. So that a cartoon Muslim guy got his own show before a real Muslim guy got his own show. And it was voiced by Andrew Denton. We do have to shout out the pioneering work of, what's his face, Chris Lilley in this, to be the first Polynesian man to have his own comedy series. First Chinese woman. First Chinese woman.

First Chinese woman. First Chinese woman. First Chinese woman. First Chinese man. First Chinese man. Who else is he? Great. First African American. What is your captain cook of TV? Congratulations.

That is always the tough thing when they, you know, his stuff gets pulled from Netflix and then they do talk to, like there is a segment of the Polynesian community that's like, man, I loved seeing that on TV. There isn't. Yeah, it was, yeah. No, really? No, no, there is.

There is when they're like 12-year-old boys. Can I just say, the best part of that sentence was, there is a segment of the Polynesian community, as if you know, who's your favourite Polynesian friend? Name your five Polynesian friends. Just because you've been to a nightclub and you've sat for these drop songs, cunts.

He's spoken to a bouncer on the way in. He's spoken to some guy at the door of a nightclub and gone, you're my mate. What do you think about Chris Rowley? Shut up, Naz. And let me tell you about Allah, okay? You listen here. You're going to meet Allah as soon as

you're dead, mate, burning in hell. And we're on Zoom. I'm sharing a picture of Muhammad as we speak. So what do you think about that? I like your tits. I've sent around a group of gunmen. I've given him tits and a dick What do you think guys? I would just like any Muslims to know

That I have completely condemned This podcast And I'm only here And I would like any Polynesians To know that as a As a strong Polynesian man, Tommy Dasolo is the future for our community. Thank you for noticing the makeup that I put on before we started this.

What if Tommy actually was a Polynesian man and he's just been whiting out for the last 10 years just to get a gig on this podcast? To get ahead. Yes. To get the show. I felt like you were about to back me up before that you've seen

this as well. Yes. This claim about Chris Lee. Do not double down on this fucking bit. Two white guys coming together to take down the eths on their own podcast. No, but I feel like 12-year-olds will be like, oh, yeah, sick. That's really funny.

And then they turn like 17 or 18 and go, oh, no, we were just fucking dumb back then. This is actually pretty cool. I don't disagree with Jen, but I have seen that. I've seen an article where someone said, I'm embarrassed at my younger self For being all in I mean look you take the crumbs you get Right And it is truly fucked up That the only representation

That you can get is a white dude Pretending to be a Polynesian boy And like And just to be clear Just to be clear on my position Because it does sound like I'm in defence of him No, no, don't let him talk I just want my position to be clear

You love him That's why he loves him I mean, you've been representing the lesbian community For so long on this podcast Yes He's been leasing up for too many years Leasing up The work that I have done for Italian-Australian lesbians Yes. Let it be known that he's hardly wearing a hat. He's been leasing up for too many years. Leasing up.

The work that I have done for Italian-Australian lesbians in the media landscape doesn't get enough credit. Honestly, honestly, I was doing auditions for this podcast 10 years ago and I got the call from someone that I read as Tammy Daslow. I heard the voice. I'm like, great. I get a girl on the show. I get an ethnic girl on the show this will be perfect

and then what do I get the whitest man of all time I was not happy because if you're an Italian do you remember that there was a study

about maybe within the last 10 years guys about discrimination and people would the study was based thanks for linking it back in

by the way last 10 years guys this is a celebration you can only talk about things that happened in the last decade. That's the rule that we've set down. It feels like this is like the name of our comedy festival show. 10 years

and Naz is like, fuck, how do I link this back to 10 years? Oh, yeah. Something happened within 10 years, maybe. Who knows? The study which happened in the last decade. It's about 9-11, but the study was in the last decade. which happened in the last decade. It's about 9-11, but the study was in the last decade. It was in the last decade.

But it was basically about job applications. People would apply for jobs, and if you had different ethnic names, they figured out who got discriminated more based on the same job application, just the names changing. And basically everyone with an ethnic name got discriminated against, except for Italians in hospitality jobs. They were favorably discriminated. So if you had an Italian surname, you got more job interviews

because they were like, oh, they're just probably naturally hospitable. However, every time I've gone to Tommy's house, you have seriously never offered me a drink in the last 10 years or a or a snack in the last decade i have not received a anything have you given me a glass of water ever i don't think you ever have do you know do you know what that's that's that's it that's an interesting point naz and i'll raise this point in sort of defense and sort of attack of daslo when daslo comes to my place i feel bad because i don't offer him a drink, but he just walks in and takes his own drink. So I don't know, who's worse there?

I will say I come in, I generally come in with my own water bottle and I'm using your water but I'm using my own receptacle. So that's in my head. I'm not bothering you for the glass. But I would argue, water is just like just ask if you want a water because the

thing is, I never really have anything to offer. I don't have snacks here. I don't have good drinks in the fridge. You do. I don't have snacks. You have anything. Tommy, you've got a fridge. I don't have a snack.

I don't have a snack. You should have used... Man, in defense of Tommy, I will say in defense of Tommy, I've always said Tommy does not have much to offer. Okay, he's a Jeff Flower of water. Jeff Flower of water. Make a bit of damper, all right? Just do something, okay?

That's racist, man. Just because we're Australian, we don't have fucking billabongs or anything like that, man, all right? I've seen Tommy's billabong in his lounge. Hey, you came to my place. I made you a full-on Sri Lankan feast. Yeah. You didn't make it at all.

You got someone else to cook. Yeah, you had hired help. We had to sign away our life rights for it because it was on TV. We had to wait about 10 hours. What happened here? I'm missing this. What happened? That's a good point, Jen.

So what happened was Naz invited us over to his TV show. There was a TV show being filmed at his house where he was supposed to cook for his family. He didn't cook at all. He got someone else to cook. He got it catered. And then we got invited over because we found out that none of his relatives, none of his real friends would come over. Because it was a working day.

Yeah, because it was a working day. And because it was a working day, he went, I know two idiots that would never get a job or have anything on. Are you talking about Rep Blake? He was right in his defense. Rep Blake came as well. Who am I? Unemployed contact.

So we came over. We filmed this TV show at Naz's house and did it for like eight hours. And then the show never went to air. That's awesome. That's so good. Anyway. Jan, if we came to your place, what have you got? What?

If we came to your place, what have you got in the fridge? In the fridge? Stories? Yeah, for the 10-year birthday party. I mean, to be fair, I don't think I've ever had any of you at my house, and I would never have any of you at my house. I'm just going to make that clear. Well, look, you could put the invite out at the moment,

and I don't think we'd be making it up for a while, so you might as well just invite us. You know what? Because of this podcast, I was going to share it. I'll share share in the chat if that's okay i did get a little um a little message from a listener oh okay oh i can't find my phone anyway but it was just uh it was just a dm on instagram from a guy who said don't worry jen i date you and i shower so thank you. Can you please explain that?

Because I always talk about how I don't get I'm not, I always talk about dating on this show and then I'm like but please if you listen to this show don't date me, like I don't want you. That just makes you more desirable. You know when people are like a bit

unattainable. Oh man, I want it more. So he said I'll date you and I shower. Okay, well we can rule out desirable you know when people like a bit unattainable it's like oh man yeah yeah so he said he said i'll date you and i shower okay well we can rule out nick capper it might be anyone else yeah um anyway no i just thought did you reply yeah we're getting married as soon as everyone it can happen literally nick caapper is going out with a fan of the show. That's how he met her. Really? Yeah, it can happen.

We could have our first dum-dum wedding. You don't know. I feel so sorry for that woman. But listen, when I just look at the dum-dum audience, it looks like they're all one family. They all kind of look very similar. You're saying they're inbred. Yeah, well, they all look like Chris Lilley post-race.

We've only got one fan and it's Chris Lilley dressed up as different people. And it just puts on different voices. Yeah. Those families that you read about, you read about like an expose article and they were like living in a fucking shack out in the middle of nowhere and there's 47 kids being kept on this property and just unspeakable things are happening out there. There's a real generational trauma vibe to it, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Given it is 10 years, guys, maybe at your first ever episode, if two people met because of you, you know, because I know, like, probably a lot of your fans have when they've gone away and they're probably hooked up. Are they dum-dum babies? But imagine if there was a dum-dum baby that is now 10 that has had, like, that is maybe on the way to having a teenage pregnancy.

You could be three generations in. Three generations of dum-dum babies. Oh, that's good. I'm not encouraging it. Yeah, let's hope in the next year or two, yeah, there's, like, an 11-year-old that gives birth. Or by then 12. There was a wedding of two people that met at Koh Samui.

There was a wedding of two people that met at the first Koh Samui that we did and got together. And then they got married like last year or year and a half. Yeah, they went back to Koh Samui. Did you check in on the marriage? You know like when cults break down, like when cult leaders are found to be dodgy, then the followers also like they lose faith

and a lot of their marriages are tested. If you guys ever break up, you might impact their marriage. You might be what holds them together. Maybe there'll be a bunch of people setting themselves on fire outside Spleen if you guys ever end this podcast. Have you guys seen Wild Country? Have you seen – not Wild Country. You know the one about Rajneesh?

I actually had some guy. He often sends me DMs, just horrible things. But then, you know, he basically said my sister's a bigot or something. No, he said my sister's small-minded and blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I was like, oh, I guess you know her, blah, blah, blah. And then he goes, you should follow the one true. And he basically told me, he's a believer of that guy, of Osho. And yeah, I just thought they, so he's still a cult leader that exists

and has a pull over people. So anyway, I don't know what the point of that is. You know what, actually, I did watch that Wild Wild Country doco and recognize my friend's parents in like like, the footage from the 70s. Wow. Yeah, like a primary. And, yeah, again, like, very, like, I just remember their kids always wearing, like, primary colours and having the same haircut.

Yeah. Well, Maz, going back to the marriage in Costa Mesa, and having the same haircut. Yeah. Anyway. Going back to the marriage in Koh Samui, the people that met at the first Koh Samui podcast festival, we got alerted to the fact of the wedding because we were like, oh, fuck, we wanted to get invited. This is another wedding I didn't get invited to. That's funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, Naz, yeah.

But the one picture we got sent of the wedding, the one picture we got sent of the wedding was the bride in a limousine, like in the car after the wedding, but they'd stopped at the front of like Family Mart and so the bride was like all done up in like a beautiful dress but also had like a toasted sandwich from 7-Eleven and a Chang. It's like that's pretty good. That's sick.

Straight after the wedding. That is such a dumb Dumb vibe isn't it Did you guys get invited Yep No What they met because of you And you didn't get invited No

They I think That's ridiculous We complained about it Once we found out about it And like someone else In the wedding party went Oh you can come

It's like I don't think That's yours That's not an invite To invite mate I don't think if you're That's worse than you Not inviting me Public place.

We weren't really close then. Now we aren't. Yeah. Not because of anything bad, but we just, you know. But you guys were known for that. It's because of the terrible secret we all have. That we can't talk about. It's the pact we made of what happened two summers ago.

Yeah. Don't talk about it. Well, I'll kick the fucking glass out of your hand. It happened two summers ago. Don't talk about it. Well, kick the fucking glass out of your hand. God, this is a mess. You're a mess.

Got my work cut out for me in the edit suite with this one. I think this will be ready for the 11th anniversary, Tommy. I think this bit. I'd actually have to record for a couple of hours just to get 20 usable minutes out of this, if that's okay, guys. So yeah, push back your midday meetings. So you guys,

where's going to be the first place you do a live? Like, Victoria's probably asked the question. Do a live. It's been a long time since you've done a show. When can we do a live?

When will Dan Andrews let us do a live? Any venues around the country do a live show? We would love to sneak out. We'd love to sneak out to Perth or Brisbane or wherever it happens.

I think Perth at the moment. Perth, they can do like pretty normal shows. Adelaide looks like it's Adelaide looks like it's kicking on. Yeah, certainly. There's kicking involved anyway.

BYO Jamison. Perth is good because Perth, on yeah certainly there's kicking involved anyway but um jemison because you can let a lot of people in at the moment i believe and then also the perth audiences have been watching perth comedians for four months so they are fucking ready for something else and their standards have been lowered considerably so even we're going to go pretty well same thing in sydney honestly like i feel like audiences are tired of us of sydney people yeah um yeah so i reckon what i'm saying is officially break the the lockdown and make your money yeah great bring your comedy and bring your corona if you did the show in melbourne If you did a show in Melbourne, though, because we haven't seen live comedy in a long time, your comedy might go over everyone's fucking heads.

Stop. Fucking idiot. I don't think in ten years of you being on this show, I don't think there's ever been an episode where you haven't said something that I've had to edit out. Whether it's reading out my address just verbatim on the air or making an obtuse reference to something that we were talking about just before that's potentially libelous. It's always the scissors and needle to come out. That was a libelous piece.

Naz, this is podcast terrorism and you're not doing your people any good with this, okay? Alright? This is getting back at you for the cartoon that you drew, so you have to keep this in or there will be guys equations. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. God, that was hot stuff. Just thinking

about it again has really got me riled up. Getting super out of the lips. Anyway, don't. Oh. Well, I can't believe it's been 10 years and this will be the last episode. Yeah. Just a clean break.

We'll get it right by 20, I reckon. So in 10 years, it's great. I mean, you haven't... Do you have to do regular check-ups for your cancer and things like that? That's completely gone. Tell me. It's completely gone. Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Tell me, tell me yeah i have no idea like just i don't know how you're doing people always talk

about your pod but not you personally and your health yeah it just took me a while to process because you kind of framed it as if it was a you framed it as if it was a question about the art of podcasting itself i don't know it's just personal query about my medical history. I just wanted to sort of say, I don't know why I've got to... Are you trying to be sincere? Are you trying to be sincere? I was going to sound like I was sincere, but to be honest, I was hoping that we could start making fun of his cancer again.

Well, you know, but Naz, Naz, look, it's a good question because you know what? Naz... In the last 10 years, I genuinely do not know what the rules about Tommy's cancer are like. I thought people were joking about it, but then I think at times he gets upset about it.

You seem to think that there's no rules based on the things that you've said in the past on the show. Yeah, what is going on now? You don't seem that confused at all. He used to be a good boy, Naz, and now you're like... He doesn't have cancer anymore. I don't know, man. He doesn't have cancer.

Maybe it's above my head. If you had a rash on your shoulder, if you had a scab on your face that was really bad and then it went away and 20 years later I talked about it, is that too soon? No. Oh, my God. Naz, this has been the check-up that I was trying to organise

for the last couple of months. Once you turn 40 or whatever, you're supposed to check for rectal cancer and stuff like that. That's what I've been trying to do with the masked pegger. That's what all that was about. I just wanted that to go up to Aslo's arse and check to see if he's okay. That was all very thoughtful of me. You had a camera installed in it and you had the screen on your end.

So the idea was that you would just be watching it and be able to see any systems or anything like that. I thought it's something you have to feel around. I thought that's what they look at. They're feeling for a bump. Yeah. Well, look, sure. I mean, if you want to be technically and medically correct about it, sure. You can say that. Yes and no. I mean, the cancer that to be technically and medically correct about it, sure. You can say that.

Yes and no. I mean, the cancer that I had wasn't in my ass, so the checkup now wouldn't be – they wouldn't just go, this is what happens when you get older. Sure, you had it in your bone marrow, but it could have spent the last 20-something years slowly migrating into your anus. It's entirely into your bone marrow.

We've got to be thorough. If you keep swallowing, you know, the marrow could be leaking. It could go into your saliva glands. You swallow that. Saliva glands. That go down into your butthole. And you know what? They say cancer can't be cured, but Tommy just pooped it out.

Yeah, because he just showed up. Yeah. Why get a bone marrow transplant when you can just do one of your little plops in the morning and then it's gone? I don't know why more people don't. Why do people go through the agony of searching for a donor when it's as simple as just having a big cup of coffee? Why go to the Peter McCallum Institute when you can go and get a curry? What's the big deal? Less Peter McCallum, more Gloria

Jean. Okay, that's the solution, folks. So bottom line for the next year. Less Peter McCallum, more chicken makhani. Guys, if we do 40 more minutes, we could just put this out as a regular ep. I feel like we're wasting this.

We're wasting this on the 10-year anniversary show, honestly. Can I say one of my favourite memories of doing this show, and I think about it regularly, is when I did the live with you guys in Melbourne, and was it with Glenn Robbins? Robbins, yeah. And then I told a story, and then at the end of it he said, are you finished talking now?

Oh, my God. What the hell? It's one of the most brutal heckles I've ever gotten. Hey, that's the Melbourne round of applause. That's how we do like a standing ovation down here. Is he socially inexperienced? Maybe that's just how he has conversations. He's a lovely person, you know, but it was just very, I don't know.

It's the way like Naz is talking right now really reminded me of that. No idea how to relate to other people. You know what, Jen? I feel like. No empathy. Can't read social clues. No eye contact. Okay, so I just want to, for the next 10 years, am I, so I just never mentioned, we just never bring it up, right?

Just from today. Oh my God. You can bring it up, just don't bring it up four times in ten minutes. It's the first time. I brought it up once. Just don't bring it up. It's such a complete non sequitur. Okay, but it is a bit triggering.

I didn't know. I honestly, I've just heard it. No, it's not triggering. It's just not funny, Matt. It's not triggering at all. Okay, okay. Well, no one told me this. Why does anyone tell me this?

It just makes no sense why you brought it up. Just looking at your face. In all seriousness, Nazeem, are you still Muslim? That's the same as a terminal illness, is it? Are we allowed to check? Is that an ongoing thing? You can't get out of your system. People come up to you and say,

sorry, I heard you're Muslim. How bad is it? It's a part of me. It's a part of me forever. Is it malignant? Is it still there? And you find out about it because the doctor sticks his hand up your ass. You guys, that was a second time.

The doctor sticks his hand up your ass and then you face a different direction out the window and you go, oh, he's still got it actually. Right, okay. Right. Still got it. Right, okay. Still got it. Oh, boy. Oh, fuck. Oh, God.

This gave me corona. This conversation gave me corona. I went all you without having it and now I've got a fucking cough. Why haven't any comedians gotten corona yet that's what i want to know we really thought we all thought at the start of this thing canceled and we don't know if it's gonna happen next year so you're gonna save all those good corona puns

true man true imagine the festival flew if that had to happen exactly if a comedian got um corona all the flyers would get Corona too. Yeah, I get it. I get it. They're tech, they're front of house. Anyway, good to finally have some personal experience from you on this show, Naz. So thank you. Thanks for sharing that you fuck everyone that you work with.

Cheers. Hell yeah. Shout out to Beck. What's it like being a man in comedy? Oh, please. And shout out to her husband, Sean, as well. G'day, Sean. I look forward to when we finish this podcast in 10 minutes when all of you email us to go,

can you just take this bit out and this bit out and this bit out? Since we're in uncharted waters, I may as well whip this one out. I believe, Nazeem, your go-to pick-up line is, you've seen Legally Brown, well, how about Legally Down to fuck? You've told us off-air how many times that's worked for you in the past. You've seen my show, Who's Ain't in the Membrane. Who's Ain't in your... Oh, that's... Come on, Jen.

You've seen my show Legally Brown. Now you hear the story about when I accidentally put it in the wrong hole. Illegally Brown. There we go. There we go. There we go. Comedy is back, baby. There we go.

Comedy is back. Jen said she doesn't want to be hit on by any dumb dumb listeners, but what about you, Nazeem? Are you open for business? Are you happy to receive DMs? Good question. Nah. You sure?

All of a sudden. I think you were chatty Cathy. Someone is shy. I'm spoken for. Is that an exclusive? Huh? Yeah. Is that an exclusive?

You've just got a haircut. You're buff now. You're buff, which is really weird. Are they a fan of your podcast? I'm just talking to you guys. Listen. Can we play Guess Who? No, there's not.

There's not who. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Do they have a moustache? Are they? Yeah. Are they wearing glasses? guess who no there's not there's not who oh my god yeah yeah okay are they do they have a mustache are they yeah are they wearing glasses

I don't think you got any Muslim listers mate no I'm not I'm not precious but if anyone you look a bit I've got brushes you look a bit hot

and bothered there Nazeem can I get you a glass of water yeah I'll kick it off the table fuck you're an idiot maybe that means you delete everything We get off the table. Fuck, you're an idiot. Maybe that means you delete everything from that. You're an idiot. Please delete me from this podcast.

Please just delete my audio track. Delete every episode I've been on. Please, I beg you. All right. All right. Let's start it properly now. Let's start it properly.. Let's start it properly. Okay. Welcome in Nazeem and Jenfrica.

I hope the one of these we're about to record with Charlie Murphy can live up to this because this has been a lot of fun. Well, there's no chatting over people in that one, so that's good. Happy birthday, guys. Oh, my God. What are you guys going to do? Do you have a cake or something that you eat together? Do you have a ritual? Do you guys going to do do you have a cake or something

that you eat together like would you have a ritual do you guys do something behind the scenes that none of us know about yeah

it's all zoom at the moment what's the process what's your process where do you get your ideas from yeah you guys are so brave

how do you do it thank you what's it like to be a what's it like to be a podcaster in comedy You guys are so brave How do you do it? Thank you What's it like to be a podcaster in comedy? What's it like to be a white dude in podcasting? Tell me about it Yeah A sissy podcaster Yeah

Alright, let's wrap this up And look, we've been going for half an hour I reckon we've got a good five minutes in there somewhere Love you I'll just edit out me saying Chris Lilley's done nothing wrong and look, we've been going for half an hour. I reckon we've got a good five minutes in there somewhere. Yeah. Love you. I'll just edit out me saying Chris Lilley's done nothing wrong and I'll put that in the thing and that'll be it. Oh, wait, wait. Actually, you know what?

Can I say something before we go? If Chris Lilley is listening to this, I am a strong Polynesian woman and if he does listen to the podcast, he would be the only person I would date because he is a strong Polynesian man. Okay. And I've seen him a few times.

You only date your own kind. Exactly. I want a strong Polynesian king who can handle, and I see him pop up on Raya a fair bit, and I think he does himself. Yeah, I think he does himself injustice by, well, first of all, the brown face and second of all, leading with a group photo. Oh.

On the. Right, right. Don't lead with a group photo on the fucking. It's the group. But is the group photo all him? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. We can be heroes.

Yeah. It's just the pressure from we can be heroes. Yeah. It's him in Coming to America and the Clumps, just playing all of Eddie Murphy's characters. No, it's just the first shot from We Can Be Heroes. Yeah. It's him in Coming to America and the Clumps, just playing all of Eddie Murphy's characters. No, it's really cool. It's him, it's Jonah from Tonga, and it's S-Mouse. Yep.

So he's actually in LA. All the do. Imagine having an orgy with all of Chris Lilley's characters. Oh, man. Imagine. Oh, man. Imagine. having an orgy with all of Chris Lilley's characters oh man imagine imagine imagine doing comedy yeah

is Raya is Raya the celebrity dating app is that what Raya is yeah Naz is on it not on it anymore

oh yes all the dating stuff Naz I got Naz onto it delete finally we're talking about the real good subject matter and we're so dating stuff. I got Naz onto it. Delete. Finally, we're talking about the real good subject matter. I got Naz. I got Naz.

It's really soft all of a sudden. All of the dating stuff needs to be deleted. This is a message. So good. So good So good Okay well Thanks for giving us The exclusive Naz

That you're dating The old Chinese woman From We Can Be Heroes We would stoke the year I want you to be happy Fuck Naz is Naz is having deep anal

With the woman Who had the gum nut Up her nose On We Can Be Heroes Great Awesome Awesome Honestly we're Halfway towards the gum nut up her nose on We Can Be Heroes. Great. Awesome. Awesome.

Honestly, we're halfway towards a full real ep. We can do it, I reckon. Let's go full Belmont and Louise and just go off the cliff. Can we just,

can you do a bonus Patreon episode and it's just all the bits Naz did not want? Yeah. I'm going to just end it as gold. No, no, that's all the bits that did not want. I'm going to just end with a cold. No, no, that's all the bits that he did want in. You have to pay extra for that.

All the bits he didn't want. I want going out to as many people as possible. Yeah, the Naz director's cut is Patreon only. And it's us just asking him how his day was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Naz is the only one who's buying it Because he wants that out there

And it's him replying that he's a great cook I reckon we've got enough I've got enough vocal samples of Naz From over the years of this podcast That we can just ask the questions And I can splice together whatever I want Who is that in that? Chris, literally Tommy's cancer splice together whatever I want who are you dating that's Chris

literally Tommy's cancer do we need to talk about your show I feel like at some point we should talk about your show no it's fine this is what people want alright show i feel like at some point we should talk about your show no it's fine it's fine that's good that's good this is what people want yeah yeah yeah all right yeah well uh hamish blake

and andy lee thank you very much for joining us uh we really appreciate you guys taking the time i love that andy's uh got a hot girlfriend. What's the word? I don't know. I don't know. He broke Naz. He legitimately broke Naz. I'm still stuck on the please don't put the dating stuff in. Remember how you came into this podcast so hot, Naz?

Just yelling, actually. Just yelling and talking about Alice Williamson and all this shit, and now nothing to say. Nothing to say. Swinging a samurai sword and then gets a little nick on the hand and goes, owie. Yeah, bombing, dropping bombs from above and then going full kamikaze. No, I'm going down.

I'm going down. Oh. No, I'm going down. I'm going down. It feels like we're finally doing a live show. That's what's good about this. That's good. You mean a live show? We're doing a drunk cast in the middle of the day. A sober drunk cast. Okay, Jen, how many drinks have you had?

I'm pretty sure I'm still drunk from last night. Oh, so that actually isn't alcohol. Yeah. Well, no, no. What I was drinking is really hydrolite. I drank Strong's. They're like the Japanese cans of vodka and soda, but they're 9% per can.

Yeah. 9% cocaine? No, per can. Oh, these are 9% cocaine. Yeah, no. cocaine? No, per can. Oh, God. I thought you said 9% cocaine. Yeah, no. I like how Naz, you said 9% and Naz made the face of like, ooh. And I was like, I guarantee Naz doesn't know what that is. No, I thought you said 9% cocaine.

Oh, right. But you said per can. Can we spread the rumour that Naz is like a bag lord? A bag lord? And that he drinks bad. Absolutely. Oh bad oh my god you're not even good at pretending to do drugs what did you say i thought you said bag lord no i said bag lord oh yeah yeah no i i sell i just don't i love it all right all right that makes sense that makes sense thanks guys well thanks guys for being part of our 10 years.

Thanks so much. Thanks for all the kind words you've said about the show. The podcast is 10 years old, mate. I would not be caught dead in a park with it by myself. That's not a good look, is it? There you go. There's the ad. There's the promo.

Thank you. Thank you. I just want to say, last time I was on the pod, I said that I hope you all stay in lockdown forever. And now that you guys are out of lockdown, I just want to say, like, go back in. Like, I don't. Yeah, thank you.

Just lock yourself back in the house. I don't like it. I appreciate it. The idea that you will once again be able to roam freely in this country is absolutely disgusting. It doesn't seem right. It's absolutely disgusting. It's a shock. Darken your door.

Thanks for the thumbs up. Take my strawberries. You've really given me... No, I don't really know what you've given me. To be honest with you, sometimes it shows there is a person in the front row with a T-shirt on, and I just know they're probably going to laugh when a joke tanks. And so that's what you've tangibly given me.

You know what I mean? That's our people. So the joke doesn't tank because someone's laughing. You get one laugh. I get one laugh. Yeah, thank you. Exactly. Thank you for saving my...

They don't laugh at any of the rest of the stuff, but they laugh at the bad stuff. And I just know that they're... And that's just... That's Naz's Raya date, so that's why they're laughing. That's Naz's Raya date, so that's why they're laughing. Oh, it's very quiet again.

I don't know why I fucking can't deal with this shit. Very quiet. Naz, can you check your connection? It's gone all quiet at your... What's your Wi-Fi like? Is your microphone working? I'm pretty bad with microphones. As bad as these girls. All right, all right, we're done. I'm sorry. We better go. I'm putting this up in Alright, alright, we're done

I'm sorry I'm putting this up in a week So I'd better start editing it Because it's going to take me a while I reckon Sorry No, you don't I've got to go This sounds like I'm just about to have a cry

But I literally have to get on another Zoom call right now Oh, you do, you do Alright, alright, we'll go Thank you Bye, Jan Thanks so much for joining Love you Exhausting stuff Oh, man We'll go. Thank you. Bye, Jan. Bye, Jan. Thanks so much for joining us. Love you. Whew.

Exhausting stuff. Oh, man. I hope you had fun in the edit suite for that one, Tommy. Mmm. Mmm. Yeah. Yep. A lot of fun.

A lot of fun doing that one. Yeah. That's great. That's a great one. Yeah. Yeah. Two of my favorite guests of the later period, of the renaissance period of the Little Dumb Dumb Club, which is what I call the last couple of years.

I agree. Yeah, Nazeem, always a lot of fun, really gets it, and has been one of our go-to people over the last couple of years. If we've got someone in who we don't know particularly well and doesn't know us particularly well. Like Nazeem's someone that we've used many times as a bit of a binding agent, as a bit of a mediator between us and other people.

I think Naz is great on this. Naz is great on our show. But I think we're sort of like his little dirty secret. I think we're his little, you know Naz is great on our show but I think we're sort of like he's a little dirty secret I think we're his little you know sort of late night booty call

I don't think he's he's publicly a little bit ashamed of he gets on here and dirties his hands and then he gets out and he's Mr Nice Guy

and he's community minded and all this sort of stuff and then and then he does our show and he's like let's just keep that one a bit quiet shall we

we'll take it okay yeah if you want to be both of us yeah yeah yeah just just fucks the back out of us at about 1am on a on a friday night and just wakes up in the morning goes let's never mention this again let's uh let's yeah yeah i gotta get back to my girlfriend how come you never post about us how come yeah you never share any – we're always posting about you. Why don't you ever share some of the photos that we're in together? Why do you keep untagging? I just don't really use social media. I just never – I just don't really use it.

I don't need people knowing my business, you know. Why do you keep untagging yourself from those pictures of us? How come we're not – yeah, don't you want us to – don't you want everyone to know that we're together? But yeah, love Naz, love Jan as well. She's been on some great episodes in the last couple of years. In fact, speaking earlier of the Drunk Cast, I think the first year we did the Drunk Cast was the year

that I became friends with Jan. Our shows were on at, I think, roughly friends with jen we would do our shows were on it i think roughly the same time and we would finish the same time every night and so we were hanging out a lot and then i dragged her up on stage during the during the drunk cast and i think she got very terrified by what was going on she hadn't been really yet she felt like she had no right there and just freaked out and was like, why did you do this to me? And, you know, I'm cut by that point. I'm like, I think you're funny. Just get up here and be funny.

We're all having a good time. I think she was very scared of – because we didn't have her on the show for a little while. You know, obviously her living in Sydney is a big part of that as well. But, yeah, I think that maybe scared her off this for quite some time and uh oh really perhaps perhaps justifiably yeah yeah yeah well to be honest i never you knew her and i didn't know her so that that's a that's a big part of it as well um but she she's man she's one of our go-tos now like we we love her she's she's so good on this pod um so and yeah look that was so funny just then.

So that's a great example of it. Awesome stuff. And yeah, two great examples of people that we've made friends with along the way. Naz's running thing of, you know, I never invite him to my wedding is very fair enough. But I would. I genuinely would invite him to my – I will invite him to my next wedding. To your next one. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you write this down, Tommy, now. Next time I have a wedding, make sure I don't forget him, okay? Make a note. Okay. Make a note in there. So I'm not in charge of all invitations. I'm just in charge of specifically making sure that you invite Naz. And, you know, at the very least, if you leave him off the official invite list,

And at the very least, if you leave him off the official invite list, if I get a plus one, I'm pledging to you that I'll bring him instead of my partner. Okay. I'll have to say to my girlfriend, hey, I'm sorry. I'd love to. Hey, this would be a lot of fun. But I made a commitment on the 10-year anniversary episode and that's a binding contract.

That's illegal. That's a legal contract now. I was going to say, either that or if you promise to remember him for me, you can, and I forget, you're allowed to go through the wedding invite list and choose someone to kick out

so that Naz replaces them. What do you think about that? Your bride. Finally, you get to step up look there's one spot left uh i don't know if you're gonna really like the placement of it but hey if you want to come the pews are all full but they're also gonna have the in many ways you're gonna have the best view in the house yeah also you don't have to worry about getting a new suit for it there's already an outfit chosen out that i mean you look don't get it dirty it's um don't go mucking about getting a new suit for it there's already an outfit chosen out that i mean you look don't get it dirty it's um don't go mucking around in it because it's going to be hard

to get the stains out but it's all set up for you yeah yeah and you get you get half the presents presents very weird deal but yeah anyway don't don't ask any more questions just just say yes um awesome well i can't can't wait to dump my current wife and get stuck into it and just have this party with Naz that's going to be great something to look forward to okay well I think is this is the last is this maybe the last coupling we have this is it okay this is well what a what a shame what a shame I could sit here forever and introduce guests. My favourite part of the show. Okay, well, last but not least, let's get two of our very, very favourites, some people that have done a lot for us

and just absolute integral members of the show over the years. Let's get them in. All right, and joining us now, we have great guests, Will Anderson and Nick Cody. Yeah. G'day, Dickens. Happy 10th anniversary. Can you imagine a decade ago that you would do this pretend radio show

for 10 years and nothing would come of it. I know, isn't it? Well, look, that makes sense, the nothing comes of it bit. That makes sense. But to have done something for 10 years, I mean, look, you know what? That's the thing me and Tommy always talk about. And you'd notice this. Both of you would notice this, I guess.

Like when we started, there was like people just going, what's a podcast and zero reward for so long. Now new podcasters get into it. They don't know how good they've got it these days. I'm the old man of podcasting. They don't know how. They do two episodes and they get a Patreon. You've got the same thing as we have at Tofop

because we celebrated our 10-year anniversary earlier this year and we are both podcasts from a different era where your podcast, A, did not need to be about anything yes and you did not realize that it would be around for long enough that you should have come up with a better name yeah and when you started it you used to like put put some special dark makeup on before you started recording because it was a different time it was just so long ago and no one cared and it was a tribute. It was a tribute to the performers that had come before you. The first couple of episodes we deleted because we did a lot of black voice.

But, you know, it was cool back then. But now, not so cool. But you're right about the names. Like, you know, I always remember like when I first went to uni and I was like saving Photoshop files and stuff like that. And it was like this weird little bit of responsibility where you could save your own files. And I'm like, cool, you can just call your files anything.

So like all of my files were called like fuck you and shit cunt and all this sort of stuff. It's like, yeah, I get to call it whatever. And then the teacher would be like, can you pull up that file now? And I'm like, the file for the project for the, you know, the shoe advertising. And I'm like, oh, is that fuck my ass

or is that shit in my face? Which file is that again? Starting a podcast is like getting the high score on a Pac-Man machine. Like, you know, are you really going to be wanting to show people the arcade cabinet in 10 years' time that has bum listed at the high score? Like, it's tempting in the moment,

but you've got to think about the longevity. That does suck, doesn doesn't it when you think you get a good score and go i've got a great name here cnt and then you go hold on i must have played this game before that's the whole top 10 yeah yeah you know that time when people started to share your wi-fi like so someone would come out of your house and they'd just be like, can I log into your Wi-Fi? And you suddenly realise how many of your Wi-Fi passwords had 69 still in them? I'm like, I'm in my mid-40s now. Yeah, Carl, imagine knowing 10 years ago,

not only that we would still be doing this podcast, but that famous comedian Will Anderson would be paying us once a month to do it. I think I could believe still doing it, but that detail I would really have trouble wrapping my head around. For people at home, Will's on Patreon. Not that I'm just a Patreon supporter of the show, but the fact that I didn't even get rid of my Patreon subscription when I was unemployed for six months.

Oh, yes. Very nice. Some of that sweet JobKeeper money was coming the way of the little dum-dum club during that time. I think probably you only didn't get rid of it when we found pictures of your house on the Daily Mail and we thought, you don't need to be getting rid of the Patreon subscription. You're doing okay.

Well, it's the opposite, mate. You understand that I've got another Patreon that I need to pay to the Commonwealth Bank monthly for that fucking sweet house. Also, though, Will, I know you did become unemployed for a period of time, but aren't you just wrapped? You don't have to talk the pandemic

with Luke Darcy and Eddie McGuire every day? Oh, fucking hell. That has been... So, you know, i guess it's the equivalent of like going over your old girlfriend's instagram photos to see what she's up to but like i am able to do that because they publish what they're up to in a podcast form of their radio show every day and i literally do role play where i just sit there and go what would i have? What would I have said in this moment when this ridiculous opinion was being spouted?

When during this year would I have just completely snapped and told both of them they were fucking idiots? And the thing is, I actually don't even think, well, I don't even think that they're both fucking idiots, but I think that this lockdown has just made everybody's opinions be the complete extremes. And when people's opinions are complete extremes, it's just very hard to be in the middle of that.

But you must be happy to know that you turn off the podcast and go, thank God I'm not with some idiots with some shit opinions anymore and you just walk outside in Byron and there's a fuckhead with dreads trying to pull down a 5G tower. You go, oh no. It's everywhere. Isabel Lucas is my favourite one at the moment. Do you know who she is, Isabel Lucas?

She's an Australian. Home and Away and Transformers own. Yeah, so she's like an Australian actress of sorts in that she does roles that they normally give to actors. actress of sorts in that she does roles that they normally give to actors. And she's a very – She is remarkably untalented, isn't she? She's pretty amazingly talented. I mean, it is a real reflection on how attractive she is,

like how many roles she has got based on the complete and utter lack of acting talent that she has. But she recently did a film in Byron Bay with the Lessa Hemsworth look. Oh, Westworld's own. They were filming it up in Byron Bay and it just came out that everyone had to sign the COVID form, that they got a COVID test. And she said, oh, I didn't get the COVID test.

She revealed it on a podcast when she was talking about QAnon and all the other shit that she believes in. Yeah, and she spoke at the 5 know rally they had in byron recently and she was like oh no i don't need to take the covid test because i trust that you know the way that i eat and the way that i look after myself that i wouldn't be susceptible to covid and you're just like yeah but the the test doesn't give you covid they just literally stick like a stick in your nose and in your throat. Like there's no chemicals involved in that. It's just a piece of wood. She went out with Vinny Chase from Montourage

and I fully believe that she thought she was going out with actual Vinny Chase from Montourage. Yeah, the guy from the documentary about show business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What I loved about that test, because I've had to have it for Gru and you obviously have to have the COVID test to make sure that you're safe to do it. And when I went into the Byron Hospital, I don't know if they do this

as a standard thing or whether this was just this nurse's particular patter around the test, but she said, it's going to feel like you've just had a heap of hot wasabi in your nose. That's just kind of the sensation it will be. And I was like, oh, that's pretty good. But what she should actually say is, hey, have you ever done drugs upstairs at the Rhino Room during an Adelaide Friends Festival?

Whatever that brown shit is that you snorted in your nose, it feels a lot like that. Did Will at that particular place, after he did the COVID test, did Fleety ask you for 20 bucks? Yeah. This is like the right over it. Imagine if we'd like, I don't know if we've talked about this before, but like, you know, with the eighth or grand finals just happened

and the whole season's happened because they got put in a bubble, like all of the players, all the teams got put in a bubble. I still think it would have been amazing if the comedy festival had been put in a bubble. The whole comedy the teams got put in a bubble. I still think it would have been amazing if the comedy festival had been put in a bubble. The whole comedy festival had been put in a bubble. That would have been insane. And you just couldn't have gotten away from Fleety. Like, you know, he can't go and ask anyone else, you know,

outside of comedy for money. So we're all going to get stung. It's like festival flu. We're not going to get all flu, but we're all going to get stung by him. They should have locked us all in a comedy bubble and just made it a giant version of Last One Laughing. Yes. They should have got Rebel to host it

and just seen us all absolutely drive each other completely out of the bubble. As someone that was on it, this is my year of no booze. If you think I'd ever do that sober, you're fucking mental. Yeah, Cody, any bombshells from on set to drop on the special 10th anniversary episode of Little Dumb Dumb Club? Come on, mate. Give us a bit of a birthday present.

I got so maggot that I forgot I was on camera after I got kicked out and I kept offering people pizza. At one point, I'm just on a thing shown around the world, eating pizza like I'm outside a hi-fi bar at 4am. Just, oh. Yeah, look, when you say shown around the world, I'm not sure if people around the world are actually watching

the Australian last one laughing. I think that's sort of like when the AFL advertised the grand final. It's being seen in, you know, 90 countries around the world. It's like, no, it's the grand finals. Being seen in 90 countries around the world. It's like, no, it's not. It's being seen in one. It's not even being seen in all the states of one. Right. They're watching it in Cuba.

They're fucking loving it over there. Yeah. More people in Cuba are watching it than in Sydney, according to the ratings. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be very fair, actually. I reckon there'd be a fair amount of expats in Thailand and stuff that are watching it more than they're watching

in even Brisbane, I reckon, probably. I know how many people watch the AFL grand final in Brisbane. Whoever was at the Gabba, minus the people behind me asking, which one's a goal again? You go, fuck, how'd you get in? Don't let anyone in there. I didn't realise that Gary Rowan was sitting behind you. Great football joke, guys.

So, Cody, what was it like to go to a game with that many people in that space? Because that's an alien concept for a lot of people in the country. Yeah, well, again, we were locked down in Melbourne for months and then due to the job, we got lucky enough to get up to Brizzy and I've honestly forgot, like everywhere you go, there's just people out and about. So I wasn't too fussed.

I've been next to people all the time. Nobody here is wearing masks anyway. So it gets to the point when they start saying, you know, it's going to be a COVID safe 30,000. You go, fucking just stop saying that and just say you're rolling the dice It gets to the point when they start saying, you know, it's going to be a COVID-safe 30,000. You go, fucking just stop saying that and just say you're rolling the dice big time with a game. There's no COVID-safe 12, let alone fucking five digits. But they really...

I'm dreaming. I'm just watching everything like that. We haven't done a live show for the podcast for so long, and I'm just looking at Brisbane and Perth and just going, imagine, imagine. Imagine what I would say in Brisbane at the moment. What would I be saying in Perth at the moment? Oh, yeah.

Give us, you know, what have you got? What have you got? We're on in Brisbane tomorrow night. What are you opening with? What are you coming up with? Oh, look, I don't have anything in particular, but I was talking to someone. I was talking to Nick Carr, the masked pegger pegger himself the other day and he was like saying oh when you come to brisbane you could do this venue and there's this stuff

um you could talk about and the venue sort of looks like this and this and i'm going oh yeah tell me more and i'm like stockpiling references about things on a wall in a venue we're not confirmed to play in you know at a time who knows when we're going to be able to get up there? Just describe it to me, Nick, slowly. Tell me about where are the bathrooms in relation to the stage. Just talk me through it. Will people be walking past the stage? Will I be able to rip on that?

Oh, yeah, good to know. Good intel. I'm just wanting to know, is there a guy working behind the bar who's a bit of a cunt that I'm no doubt going to have an altercation with 10 minutes before showtime, who I can just absolutely put on blast from the safety of the stage? Yes. This is what I need to know. There are

some comics up here strutting around like they've kicked five goals in a fucking NAB Cup game. You go, relax guys. The fucking big dogs are coming and you're in trouble. It's not round one yet everyone's relaxing yeah yeah it's like um it is has been a good time for local acts though all right like that is that is it has been the time where the kings of the local scene come into their own so

yeah there will be some that don't want that to change like you know if you're the king of the brisbane scene and you're the king of the Brisbane scene and you've been benefiting from the fact that there's no one crossing the border, surely you've got a vested interest in spreading COVID back around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like if you can... I'm right here. Just ask me what my plans are.

You know what it is, Will? If you're into footy, it's gone from AFL to VFL. They've gone back. They've gone, no, no more interstaters no more star no none of these mysterious stars from south australia or wa anymore we're just doing locals from now on so you know what it's i you know what has happened though and i've been here to witness it is that the there was every gig was fucking rammed for a few months. And you're like, wow, this is a new time for comedy in Brisbane. And then I think people are getting to the point now

where they're like, oh, we can still go to the beach. Let's do that. Right. I think there might be a little bit of, from what I hear about Perth, is people go, oh, we can finally go out. Great. Let's go out three weeks in a row bit of, from what I hear about Perth, is people go, oh, we can finally go out. Great. Let's go out three weeks in a row.

Oh, no. In three weeks, we've already seen all of the comics twice. So, yeah, they're ready. Well, you know what the good news is? If you're saying that there's like an initial desire just to get out and about and do something so you can sell a lot of tickets, I have realised that I'm currently halfway through my return season of my Melbourne Comedy Festival shows.

They've got rescheduled. They're meant to be on. They were meant to be like last week and this week at the Comedy Theatre, which means that venue is probably still empty, which means if I can get on a plane to Melbourne, I could probably still sell out those shows. Ten people per space, so it's going to feel a bit weird, Will, but, you know. I love up here too because I've told them I'm coming back to Melbourne

middle of November and they're like, mate, God, are you ready for a second quarantine? I'm like, man, you could be on fire wearing a suicide vest and Victoria's like, fucking come in, man. We'll have you. They'll take anyone. There's no quarantine on the Victoria end. Yeah, you'd probably have better quality COVID

than what we've got down here at the moment. You'd probably spruce up the joint with your disease. So, yeah. What I think is Western Australia, because they've got an election like next year and McGowan at the moment has like 90% approval ratings or something. Just watch for

western australia being the one state that just holds out on because they've always wanted to secede from australia anyway like the west is best and all that sort of stuff so i actually think that they're just going to keep the wall up i think i think that's i think that's true and like i think the only thing that's going to stop that is you know the 17th time they've seen the local open mic is from perth i think comedy is what's going to break it i think they're going to stop that is you know the 17th time they've seen the local open mic is from perth i think comedy is what's going to break them i think they're going to be like nah you know what you know what let's have the little dum-dum boys back here they don't even have to do the podcast we'll even take their stand up at this point i know what's going to get perth and that's when

they go all right we'll open up flights to our sister city, Bali. And then that's when it fucking spreads again. Yes, that's true. I reckon, you know what, I reckon the other states in Australia are going to start impersonating the president of Bali and going, hey, boys, come on, we've got half-price bingtangs. Let's get stuck into this. Come over here. The first round's on us.

And they'll go, okay, we'll open up the borders. Ah, fuck. Fuck. That was Dan Andrews in a wig. So you reckon it's more likely instead of Victorian comics being able to go over to Perth to do gigs, it's more likely that there'll be Balinese comics flying over to strut their stuff on the Perth stages. It's like, finally, the promised land. their stuff on the birth stages.

It's like, finally the promised land. Balinese open micers that were sharing the same cells as Chappelle Corby. Or Chris Lilley having one more shot at it. He's going, I've still got some makeup, guys. Yes. Yes. Sorry, quickly. You know, it hasn't changed in the 10 years, boys, and that is I was the guest on the very first episode,

and I came in to talk to you blokes about Thailand. So good to see you've kept that theme strong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You work out what works in the pilot and then you just keep it going. You know, you just. Yeah.

Right. Kramer's funny, man. Let's have him keep bursting in in more and more and more outrageous ways every episode. Yeah, we desperately wanted to keep on brand. I thought, you know what, we've got to keep those first 12 listeners, no matter how many times I have to go back to Thailand. But I need them to think they're consistent.

I need them to be able to trust us throughout the 10 years. Well, you know how for an anniversary of Seinfeld, they had the Seinfeld cafeteria. They had that set. Or it might have been Jerry's apartment. I can't remember. It was one of the two and they toured it around so that you could go. Like it actually came to Australia.

You could go and sit in the Seinfeld cafe or Jerry's apartment. I can't remember what it was, but it was like one of the major sets from the show and you could go and have that experience. Maybe there should be like a dum-dum melbourne pop-up like thailand experience yeah that'd be good well yeah yeah maybe maybe construct the the the thailand bar that we haven't bought yet in melbourne first to give that a test run yeah it was jerry's apartment because i remember reading a story about how they had to put a warning on it when you came in

because people kept fucking up the door by trying to do crazy Kramer slides in it. Literally, the door kept coming off its hinges, so they had to have security there telling people, don't open the door like a cunt. It's funny stuff, but honestly, we can't screw this thing on again. I like the idea of them putting a blanket over the couch or something because people kept coming in and jerking off over it. Oh, we're just impersonating Mike on the show.

No, no, that's Seinfeld, the XXX parody you're thinking of. Ah, fuck, right. Okay. Yeah, right. I got in trouble because I slid through the door and then did Kramer's stand up and they're like that's very bad you've got to get out of here

that material is what actually blew the door off it's hinges but also probably similar to some of the material you were seeing at some of those Brisbane gigs you're doing they haven't seen the clip yet you're seeing at some of those Brisbane gigs you're doing. Yeah. They haven't seen the clip yet. You're a very bad man. Yeah, yeah.

It doesn't get to the end and there's an apology on Letterman. It gets to the end and it's like, do you want to get up again next week? That killed. That was actually great gear. We've moved your next show to Suncorp Stadium. Congrats. You've got a statue next to Wally. Nick Shooter Cody.

Australia's loosest bike. Well, Will and Nick, thank you so much for being such a valuable part of the show over the years. And, Will, thank you for... You have done probably more than anyone, I would say, to get this show into new listeners' ears and for your invaluable advice along the way. I mean, who could forget the meeting we had in the middle of the street

where you told us to put the Patreon read at the end of the episode. For the love of God, stop wasting 45 minutes of people's time before the episode started. And then you went the other way and we looked at each other and went, yeah, I think he might have a point. So we thank you and the listeners thank you. I mean, he probably shouldn't take too much credit. That's like someone yelling at someone in the ocean and going,

if you're drowning, how about you put your hand up? You know, just like stop drinking stop drinking and start swimming literally for months you had not put your hand up so i felt like i had to step in well yeah we needed someone to remind us that we had hands so that's yeah we couldn't have done it without you well i would like to say thank you for all the great entertainment you've provided me and um i will say that I absolutely love this show. I think it's like genuinely when I think of iconic Australian podcasts, this is the first one that I think of.

It exists in a world that really didn't exist before podcasting. Like so many shows these days are just things that could actually just ordinarily be on the radio. And I think the one thing we've learned from you guys is that we'll never. So it's nice that it is a very unique thing. I think it's like super entertaining. I love being a part of it and I thank you very much. And I'm sorry for my support because without it,

it probably would have ended and you guys would be doing something productive. That's a very good point. Yeah, good point. Fuck you. Yeah. and you guys would be doing something productive. That's a very good point. Yeah, good point. Fuck you. Yeah, boys, so much fun, awesome work. And I'm not going to try and match the beautiful words Will has said, but some of my favourite memories in life have been on this show and those trips to Thailand and all around Australia and America

with you dickheads. It has been a lot of fun, but Will is right. You'll never hear 1-3-3-5-3. Give us a call. Whose dick do you think this cast is made from? And I'm on Triple M Brisbane. If it could fucking happen anywhere,

I would have told you boys it would have been here. Yeah, yeah. There'll never be Tommy in a black thunder giving out icy cold black dildos. We've got your icy cold Cody's cocks. Thank you, boys. Thank you so much for being part of it. I appreciate it. Thank you.

We both do. All righty. Yeah, two real dum-dum for being part of it. I appreciate it. Thank you. We both do. All righty. Yeah, two real Dumb Dumb Club Hall of Famers. They're up. They've got a little engraving on the little board, on the little plaque. Absolutely. Nick Cody, number one appearance maker of the little Dumb Dumb Club, was on the first one and has absolutely racked up the numbers over the years.

Very, very good friend of the show. Yeah. And a pleasure, you know, he's an example of, to some degree, of, well, I guess you could say we helped him out to some small degree, but it's been lovely to see him grow as a comic and as a comedian and as a successful comedian. And now he's doing full-time radio and all over the TV and all that sort of stuff.

So lovely to see a good mate make a well-deserved venture up the comedy ladder. And well-deserved, very, very funny, very funny guy and a lovely man in comedy, I have to say. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, great guy. one of our best mates and of course will anderson one of the most uh generous people in the australian comedy industry been absolutely good to us over the years always if he's if he's around and he can do it he always

does it if you ask him always up for a live show Has plugged us so many times on Tofop, so many times when we ask people, how did you hear about the show? The bulk of the answers are from people hearing us be talked about on that show. On his podcast. On his podcast, yeah. And just, yeah, so supportive. Always nice things to say. And the king of, like I say, the king of getting to the top

and coming back for the others. Sending the bucket down the mountain, picking up some more people to bring up. Good on him. Good on him for getting up there and doing the right thing by other comedians. An absolute champ at that. Thank you, Will.

Thanks on behalf of everyone. But, yeah, thanks for all your help with this show. Thanks for all the money. More importantly. How much money? We should go and work out exactly how much money we've gotten from Will through the Patreon and then buy ourselves a 10th anniversary gift

that is specifically from Will Anderson that correlates to that value amount. You know what? Because he's always listened to the show. That's the thing. It was a while into doing the Patreon stuff where we'd be putting out bonus episodes because I know he listened to it every week. He listened to the normal show every week.

I think he sort of started subscribing on Patreon because I would just send him the Patreon episode for free anyway. I think he probably got guilty, felt guilty and went, oh, fuck, I'm getting the bonuses every week. I better chip in. I better chip in. Yeah. Yeah.

But I do like that idea. If we treat ourselves to a, I don't know, a nice meal or something on the Anderson dollar. And we can officially say this is where Will's – yeah, go back through the archives and get the actual dollar amount and then we'll work out something we can get with exactly that amount and treat ourselves to a 10th birthday present from Will. All right. A Will Anderson night.

Yeah. We design a Will Anderson themed meal, themed night. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we could invite him, but he doesn't live here anymore. I mean, we could invite him, but he doesn't live here anymore, so maybe we should Zoom him during the meal just to give him updates on the Will Anderson meal.

Let him choose something off the menu. If you work out the amount and it comes in at the cost of two flights to where he is plus a little bit in change, so it's just like we fly to where he is and then just meet him in McDonald's or something. Yeah. Because that's all that's left in the kit. He is just like $9 after we buy the flights. I love the idea of like he's a bit of a hermit,

so we just fly into where he is and he's like, no, I've got something on actually, boys. And we're just, okay, all right, well. We're doing this for content. Yeah. I guess we just get a Happy Meal and a postcard, I guess, then. All right. Thanks, guys.

Well. They've done it again. They've done it again. They absolutely have done it again. Bernie's kicked a big one. Obviously, no talking dum-dum this week because that's basically what we've just been doing in between all these clips. But thanks to everyone who took part in this bumper mammoth episode. Thanks to everyone who's –

Should we quickly read out five names this week? Peter Warsaw. Jeff Kiev. Jeff Kiev. That's two. What else is there? Charlie Candler. Charlie Candler. Yeah. That's two. What else is there? Charlie Candler. Charlie Candler.

Yeah, there's three. Rick. What else would there be? Rick. Yes, Rick. Mr. Rick Everything. Why is this taking so long? The fifth one,

Mr. Comedy. Okay, there we go. There we go. We've read our five names this week. Five names. Yep, yep,

yep. Thank you to everyone who's, yeah, ever been on the show. And thank you to you guys at home who listen every week, recommend the show to people, post about it, come to live things,

get involved on the socials, all that kind of stuff would love you to if you if you can you know if you've got a mate that listens to podcasts you don't have to send them this episode this may be you know this is a lot of fun this episode but maybe this is a bit of a celebration episode rather than a first time episode so um yeah find your favorite episode a lot of people talk about like maybe the one where uh charlie candler went to you know uh nani has got talent or maybe there was you know a co-sameleon maybe there was the fiona o'loughlin and lawrence mooney episodes maybe there was the crunchy gate episodes

yep we've done best of episodes the last at the end of the last couple of years which are a good little uh tasting tasting palette tasting tasting board board of some of the highlights from that year that's maybe a good place to start out on. But yeah, certainly those ones are all ones that people regularly mention as good starting points. Absolutely. So yeah, look, if you want to give us a 10th birthday present, that would be it.

You know, if you go out and convert one of your mates to be a listener of this show, you've got a mate that then you get to talk to about, you know, another thing. then you get to talk to about another thing every Wednesday when we drop an episode. And it helps us out. You bring another person to a live show when we come by your town. The bigger we get, the more we make sure that we better do a good job.

Because if no one turns up, we're going to be like, fuck this. And if you ever listen to a live episode where not many people turn up, you will see the correlations in quality. Yep, absolutely. Yeah, hopefully we can be out there doing live shows again soon. Yeah, great to

be able to do this. Great to be able to celebrate the 10th birthday in some capacity. And yeah, what else is there to say? We really appreciate everything that you guys at home do. It really means so much to have people tuning in every week to this dumb bullshit and yeah, we never could have imagined starting this 10 years ago in a shitty little community radio station

that we would be able to get up to the sort of hijinks that we do now and the only reason that that's possible is because of people like you at home that listen and get involved every week. Absolutely. So, yeah, if we can make a deal, we'll keep trying to think of dumber ideas and make good shows. And we really think, we kind of really think that, well, I mean, I don't know about you, Tommy,

hopefully I can speak for both of us. I kind of think the show just keeps getting better and better. I look at the episodes that come out, like you'll look back over the year and go, man, there was a lot of fucking good ones there. So, I mean, as long as you make the deal of keep listening and get more people into it, we'll definitely keep trying to get better

and putting out cool episodes and really leaning on some of our friends to waste their time and come in and do our show. Exactly. And really beg some big-name celebrities to lower their standards for an hour or so. But big, big thank you to everyone out there.

And long may all this continue, please. Without kidding around, I don't give a fuck about TV and radio and all that bullshit. If we can keep this thing going and get to do whatever the fuck we want, man, that'll do me. Yeah. All right, guys. Let's wrap it up for another week.

Let's close off a decade and start a fresh one from next week. Thanks, guys. Thanks for all your support. We're wiping all the running jokes. Next week, we're starting all anew. They're all gone. No more guests from here on out. Clean slate, a clean break.

Yeah, it's a Christian podcast from now on. No more swearing, no nothing like that. Let's reboot it. All right, guys. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.