The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 534 - Nazeem Hussain & Gen Fricker

Episode Date: December 22, 2020

You guys loved them together on the 10th Anniversary episode so we HAD to get them back together for a full episode, it's NAZEEM HUSSAIN and GEN FRICKER! Nazeem comes in swinging, tearing down the size, location, and bathroom placement of Tommy's apartment, before defending his title as a land owner and trying to convince us that Chadstone shopping centre is good, for some reason. We also hear about Gen's time as a child actor PLUS we all attempt to play relationship counsellor between Karl and a very special someone in his life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Nazeem Hussain and Jen Fricker. If you are in Perth, we are coming over there January 24th for a big live show, the podcast and stand-up. Tickets available now, littledumbdumbclub.com, selling very quickly. We're going to talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dumb Dumb. But until then, enjoy this brand new episode, Jen Fricker and Nazeem Hussain. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo.

And with me as always the other half of the program Nazeem Hussein! No! No! Get out you pieces of fucking shit! No! No, it's Carl Chandler, get that dickhead! I'm trying to hurry up and get this show

going because we're talking so much shit off air and trying to get this lightning in a bottle Joining us today on the show, we have very special guest, Carl Chandler and Jen Fricker. Thank you. It's an honour for Carl and I to be here. Welcome to my partner, Tommy Dasolo's house. Whose bathroom, apologies guys, you've got to walk through.

His actual freaking bedroom. Yeah, it's an old suite. It's so close. It's all so jammed in that you actually took a shit on his bed as you went to the bathroom. This is the worst layout of any place that someone lives in. Unless you're actually homeless. He's not on TV like you.

This is how the other 98% lives, okay? This is how the rest of us whiteys live, okay? You know what? You are the 1% of podcasters because, you know, none of us have listeners and you do. Right. Did you know I have a podcast? Yeah, I know. I've been on it. No one listens to that podcast. Yeah, and you do. Right. Did you know I have a podcast? Yeah, I know. I've been on it.

No one listens to our podcast. Yeah, they probably do. We don't know your stats. You probably have as many listeners as us, but to you, that's nothing. Yes, exactly. To us, this is everything. Okay, well, this is that. Do you know what numbers you do get?

Don't tell us. No, tell us. I don't. Yeah, go on. I have no skin in this game. I just want to see a fight We're sitting This house

Have you ever thought about moving? I've probably thought about moving Shazam There has been a pandemic People have lost their fucking jobs In their home Tommy Dasso lives in a city You cannot walk into someone's house

Okay I've thought about moving Jane what are your obvious thoughts on this place? Like he's not paying I'm not doing this We're not in the outer suburbs. This is the inner city of Melbourne. Exactly.

He's paying good money. I like the small apartment. I'm not poor shaming him. He's rich as fuck. Like, this is a... How much are you paying? He's rich. I'm not telling you how much I pay.

How much are you paying? If you won't tell me your deadlock numbers, I'm not telling you what rent I pay. Can I get a guess? Yeah, take a guess. It's over $400 a week. Yes, it is. I don't know.

I actually don't know. Go to Boronia and have a house with a proper layout. Are you too proud? Do you know what you pay per week? Because this is the thing. When you look for a house, you look at it. I'm not telling you. Why would I ever tell someone how much I pay?

I can't believe you nearly answered. You know what? He likes this place. It's so shit. Just because you were slightly uncomfortable taking a dump. It's not shit, dude. I feel like you've never lived in a shitty shack. I've lived in a shitty house. Just because you lived with your parents until you were slightly uncomfortable taking a dump. It's not shit, dude. I feel like you've never lived in a shitty shed. I've lived in a shitty house.

Just because you lived with your parents until you were 31. You fucking idiot. Parent, one mum. Dad abandoned when I was six. That's not qualifications for a shit house. You know what's going on here? You know what's going on here? He's trying to ground you down, Tommy.

Because he owns all these other houses. He's a landlord. You're trying to get me to move into one of your properties. He's adding the fucking sex to it. Yeah. When he said, have you ever considered moving, he pulled out a brochure and handed it to you. Have you ever considered moving?

And if you did, would you eat pork in that house? No, no, it's all good. It's not a bad place. It's not a bad place. It is a good place. It's all good it's not a bad place it's not a bad place it is a good place it's nice but the the per week thing

I always find that weird because when you look for a place the listings are per week but then once you move in you're paying per month right oh I pay per fortnight

really oh okay that's a Sydney thing I guess yeah we just got a tram yeah every time I've looked for a new place

you look at the listings and it's like, fuck, what actually am I paying per week? I don't know. Divide by four. Fuck that. You've got to do one sum. Who's got the fucking time?

Who can be bothered? Who's going to work out those other three days of the month that don't belong to a week? Exactly. Yeah, exactly. That little excess. There's that nice February deal, but apart from that, that throws your whole calculations out. But yeah, let's say, yeah, I think it's around would you what do you got what do you got for me in that range where would i be living in an actual house with a proper like normally we walk into someone's house

there's like the entrance area and then you got like we're currently sitting next to like carl can fucking his head can touch a pot right yeah that's nice though if he gets hungry he can just fix himself of course you can touch a pot if you sit next's nice though. If he gets hungry, he can just fix himself a piece of silver. Of course your head can touch a pot if you sit next to the fucking stove. I'm sitting next to the stove. That's all that is.

Is this how all of you live? Do you live right next to the stove? No, I've been to your house. You've got a normal house. Do you get more of a cut of the podcast? No. How come he uses his money?

Because he has a bigger house. Yeah, there's more people living in my house. I feel it. You don't spend your money wisely, Tommy. He's looking after, I'm sure his You don't spend your money wisely, Tommy. He's looking after... I'm sure his wife also provides.

Contributes, yeah. Yeah, that happens these days now. Reasonable that she doesn't. I allow my wife to work, yeah. It's already getting racist. Oh, my God. So, okay. So, yeah, what have you got for me?

$400 a week. Have you got any gazebos? What area am I living in? What suburb? Okay, I don't know what the Sydney equivalent... Noble Park North. Noble Park North. Yeah, what have you got for me in it? $400 a week. Have you got any gazebos? What area am I living in? What suburb? Okay, I don't know what the Sydney equivalent is. Noble Park North. Noble Park North. Yeah, not interested.

It's a great selection of cuisine. You've got everything in Zone 1. In the portfolio. This is what I'm trying to say. Tommy has clearly given up a standard of living indoors just so that outdoors is going to be nice. I cannot stress enough, if I lived here by myself, I would be fine.

Absolutely. Leave for the listeners. Take a photo of every room and put it online. Wait, does it hold me in the same building? No, Nick Giannopoulos lives in the building next door. Oh, okay. Yeah. In the penthouse.

Are any of your properties Nick Giannopoulos adjacent? Yeah, that's a great question. If you can get me close to Colossimo. Have you got George Capaniaris in the basement or anything like that? Oh, shit. Noble Park is far away. I just looked it up. Yeah, of course it is.

This is nice. This is close to two forms of public transport. It's walkable to the city. I've got a pool. Yeah, he's got a pool. I've got a sauna that's out of action. I've got a gym that we're not allowed to use. He's got a little bit of outdoor action here.

True, you'd probably save all that money as well. He can take a piss from his bed. Have you tried? I've never tried. You could do one of those where they set up all the dominoes that can fall and that makes a beautiful pattern. A Rube Goldberg machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A Rube Golden Schauberg. That's great. That's really good. A bunch of paddles, slides. You've got like a safety barrier here on your balcony. Yeah. It's only on your balcony. That's to stop me from being able to jump off.

Yeah, yeah. Like the nets on the edge of the West Gate. That's just in case some Muslim comedian comes in and absolutely rags his apartment and makes him want to top himself. I actually don't know what the purpose of them is. The little nets over the... That little wooden fence, to be fair,

you could topple off that. You have a few people around. Yeah, give it a go. You could do anything you put your mind to. We all believe in you. How many properties do you own? No, honestly, I feel like a bad host.

You are a bad host. You are a bad host because this isn't your house. You're a terrible host. I will note, though, obviously a different cultural experience. We've all come to Tommy's house today bringing our own drinks. I brought my own Slurpee. Jen brought her own Coke Zero. How did you bring anything?

Oh, no, I brought, well, you brought Carl's Coke. Yeah, I brought Carl's Coke. I brought my own Slurpee. Jen brought her own Coke Zero. How did you bring anything? Oh, no. I brought... Well, you brought Carl's Coke. Yeah. I brought Carl's Coke. You brought my Coke. I've made this point before on the podcast. I've come to Tommy's house several times.

Never offered a glass of water. He's got a glass of water just there. I think you... Did you offer that? No, he did. What do you mean? Did she offer it to you? You know what, Naz?

Okay, that's fucking sexy. I'll take it all back. You've given me a glass of water. Naz, last time you said this, from now, every episode from then on, Tommy has done that. He's learned from you, and I've copped a glass of water every time.

So he's taught... You've taught him something. Yep. There you go, man. But, fellas, this is the point. It's like you try and change yourself. People aren't paying attention. Everyone's just fucking got their own head up their ass

worrying about themselves. No one's paying attention You haven't even had a fucking sip of a glass of water You disrespect me And guess what I bet that fucking empty Slurpee can Is going to be fucking left behind in the house For me to clean up

Also How many kilojoules are you allowed to have today? No sugar Low sugar Whatever that is God What flavours did you get in there? Guarana.

Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. That's right. I wonder you're so fired up. Yeah. I remember when Guarana came in and we were like, you know, I was like 16 or 17 and we went and bought it from off your tree thinking we can legally have drugs. I thought it was going to be like acid.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we just sat there in someone's flat. Did you get a cool Bill Murray poster while you were in it off the tree? No, no. Just a big Cypress Hill flag that we could put up on the wall. Sick. And then put it just there and then just had the guarana and just stared at it and just said to each one of us, do you feel anything?

It's like, yeah, dude. I think that guy with dreadlocks is talking to me. I think all energy drinks still have that basically as their marketing campaign. Like V and Red Bull are like, you are going to go fucking psycho when you have a sip of this, dude. Like the V ads where the little bugs get into the can and then they're all just fucking beating the shit out of each other and doing beheadings and stuff.

Have you heard of a thing called Chronic? No. A long time ago. As in weed? Yeah. Wow. Jen knows. Oh, I thought. As in weed? Yeah. Wow. Jen knows. Oh, I thought you meant this is going to be another energy drink.

Well, a long time. You know. Have you guys ever heard of marijuana? Wait, is it a known thing, chronic? Yes. Yes. It's a strain of weed. No, this is fake weed.

It's synthetic. It was so fake that it was legal. Yeah. So this is like a brand name. Yes, it's terrible. This is a brand name chronic. Chr's terrible. It was legal. Yeah. So this is like a brand name. Yes, it's terrible. This is a brand name chronic. Chronic TM. I really don't know.

Someone basically said you can buy, it's basically weed, but it's not. Me and a friend. Synthetic weed, it's terrible for people. I didn't know this because I went to chronic, off your tree, off your face, whatever. And I said, can I buy some chronic, please? And they said, here you go. And then they said, and then I said, how do you smoke it? And then he said, I don't know, a pipe or something. I said, how do you smoke it? And then he said, oh, I don't know, a pipe or something.

I said, can I buy a pipe? And then he gave me all the things. And then me and my friend, who you know, Hesh, whatever, we met up. Is that another word for marijuana? Yeah, nearly. We hadn't smoked anything. My friend Hesh. And we basically put it in the pipe and we took like several puffs each.

And we're like oh nothing's happening And so we just kept going And then suddenly Freaking Yeah That old trick It was the worst Wait

Is marijuana halal? No Oh Oh but synthetic marijuana is That's even not halal Oh It's all bad We shouldn't have been doing it

But we were being dodgy And he's probably going to kill me For talking about it You're smoking pork weed I don't know You're not supposed to intoxicate. That's pretty much what Haram is. Right.

It's like pork version. Yeah, pork whatever. And anyway, we couldn't walk for a good two hours. Oh, wow. Because I thought you had never done anything. This was our one thing. Right. And I told Beck afterwards.

Actually, then we were like, it's time to pray. Who's Beck? Beck Sutherland, my manager. Your manager. Ah. Actually, afterwards actually then we were like it's time to pray who's Beck Beck Sutherland your manager actually before that we were like does she manage your weed intake

yeah is she one of those people like your snoop dog has like a joint role is she getting 10% of everything

you smoke anyway so we were like oh it's time to pray the afternoon yeah he never gets that bent off his head because she's always like 10% of the time.

That's why I was wondering why Joel Creasy was also smoking weed. So we basically were like, we had like 20 minutes to pray the prayer, right? Because you've got to pray several different times a day. Hang on, so where were you at this point? We were near Holmes Glen train station. See, another suburb that you could probably afford to live in. Yeah, and another suburb that I would not want to live in. Are you suggesting you live at the train station?

I love this. Nazeem referencing suburbs and then Jen having to look up on Google Maps where they are in the last year. Jen's just on realestate.com the whole time. Holomess Glen is how you spell it. Holomess Glen. Like Sherlock Holmes. Yeah, there's a TAFE there.

There's lots of housing commission flats. And there's a creek Called Gardner's Creek And you think Tommy Should be there Because there's a tape Learning a trade Or living in the commission

Is that one of the ones You own Holmes Glen Station Yeah Holmes Glen Station So there's a tape Oh it's near Malvin Malvin

Oh that's not too bad Oh that's not bad I've stayed there It's a pocket It's like an area Between some good areas But with respect To people in Holmes Glen It's a pocket of it. It's like an area between some good areas. But with respect to people in homeschooling, it's a shit site. Do you go around to your houses and knock on the door and get the rent cash in hand or what?

You'd be cash in hand, I reckon. I reckon. You'd be getting... Come on. Bang, bang, bang. I'll release my tax returns. I've been positively gearing for years, guys. Didn't Harry Styles stay at a hotel out there?

Really? I'm pretty sure. No. No, no. Really? Yeah, there was some hotel out near Chadston. That's all I remember. Yeah, yeah, Chadston.

That's as many as the airport, I reckon. That's got to have happened. You've never stayed in a Homer's Gleam? Homer's Gleam? It's like you're from England. It's like Sherlock Holmes Gleam. Wait, why would he... Did he say Chad's a shopping centre?

I think because he was staying in the city and people figured it out. And then he moved to a hotel out there. I don't know why I fucking know that. I don't even know... I want to stay close to a cinema and bowling. So I can't be in the city. All right, Holmes Glen it is.

Got anything close to a strike? All right. Home's clean. Did you know got anything close to a strike? Chadston is known as the number one shopping centre in the Southern Hemisphere. Yeah. What do you mean number one?

I don't know. Number one for what? COVID. Biggest. Biggest? No, I think the best. No. It'd be the biggest.

You can't seem to get out of Melbourne. Surely there's like crazy ones because that's the thing. What's better than Chadston in the Southern Hemisphere? Literally all of Sydney. Go on. Name a shopping centre. Surely there's like crazy ones Because that's the thing What's better than Chadston In the southern hemisphere Literally all of Sydney Go on Name a shopping

Everything's Westfields in Sydney Yeah I keep thinking Which are still good Yeah but I've got to be Oh this is the most Melbourne bullshit ever

Well I'm from Melbourne Alright We need a home grown Artisanal Super fucking complex Stop trying to boost The random Chadston Capitalism What the fuck?

Everyone in Sydney just yells at people. If you go to Sydney, they just fucking yell in your face. Just because you own a subway at Chadston, you've got to put that stuff out there before you get on the podcast. You've got to disclaim all the things you own. Listen, Chadston is owned by Jewish people, so I have nothing to do with them. Here we go.

They're our cousins. I love Jewish people, okay? So I have nothing to do with... Here we go. Here we go. They're our cousins. I love Jewish people. Shalom Aleichem. I've been to shopping malls in Thailand, and I always think, you know, there's got to be no... They're not checking everything. They're not checking whether you're allowed to build it big enough or whatever.

I expected that they're just going to have whole suburbs that are just the shopping malls. Yeah, what about any Japanese department store? They're fucking sick. That's the northern hemisphere. What? Japan. Yeah, what about any Japanese department store? They're fucking sick. Shouldn't there be a northern hemisphere? What? Japan? Isn't there a southern hemisphere?

I don't know. I feel southern. I'm not looking that up on Google Maps. I feel southern. Okay, with respect, everything in the southern hemisphere is pretty, like there's not a lot going on in the southern hemisphere. What about Korea? Hey, I live there.

Is Korea southern? I don't know. Where did you? No, we live here. Yeah, I live there. Okay, but what other countries are taking part in these competitions? There's not much... Is there a competition?

You're just making up a competition. I don't even remember what we're talking about. There's no competition. I'm just reading this off the brochure that you've given us. Just tell your houses. What was your claim? That Chadston is the best? Apparently the best shopping center in the southern...

No, not even the best. The biggest. Number one. He didn't say four. Okay, number one. Do you think that there's an event in the Commonwealth Games for the biggest shopping centre? Not bad.

Yeah. Not bad. Chuck that in. The head has to come. It's like, mate, we've got AMM. We've got bowling. We've got cinema. You can't count America.

This is Commonwealth. Don't tell me that you've never heard of people saying some of the southern in the Southern Hemisphere. Of course. How do they come up with that then? What do you mean how do they come up with it? How do they get to that conclusion? They don't do it by just saying it on a podcast.

And who's they? Who's this body that's in charge of working this out? What I'm trying to say is that unless these things are contested in the public space, then it's a separate issue. I see what you're saying. You know what I mean? You know what I think the true mark of a person... If I say this is the ugliest apartment in the Southern Hemisphere,

unless someone proves it wrong by saying, no, this is ugly, I'm going to stand... So unless someone has a really ugly, small Japanese apartment, and then we have to argue which part of it... But first we need to know which hemisphere that's in. Okay, guys, you would have seen photos... If you're listening, you would have seen photos of my apartment, like the background of my apartment on the socials when we've done

the episode photos and whatnot. If you think you live in an uglier apartment than this, then send us a photo and we'll be the judge. Take a photo of this. Is that actual shit on your couch? No, I'm just lying. I'm just trying to give them images. It's a nice apartment.

It's for one person. Why do you have to go through your bedroom to go take a shit? Because he's the only person living here. It's an en-suite. Is this a guest room? What do you mean? You stay in a hotel, you're like, oh, this is a bit uncivilised. I've got to walk through the bedroom to go to the toilet.

If you go to someone's hotel room, that means you're an intimate partner or a cleaner. What? You don't just go to someone's hotel room as a guest. Have you ever hung out in your friend's hotel room? means you're an intimate partner or a cleaner what you don't just go to someone's hotel room as a guest have you ever hung out in your friend's hotel room

do you know what can I just say it is truly wonderful to be part of the podcast where the first brown man will be cancelled the number one okay the number one

shopping centre in the suburb you know what I think you can measure a shopping centre by it's not the classic brands that are in there it's not the size of it it's not think you can measure a shopping centre by? It's not the classic brands that are in there.

It's not the size of it. It's not how clean it is. It's the food court. That's the true mark of a great

shopping centre. Chadston has a ripper. Chadston has a ripper. There's the one with the nene chicken.

Is this a sponsorship? I don't understand what's going on. Someone tag Chadston please. This is boosting up the neighbourhood

market value of your apartment yeah you are trying to single handedly push up your own fucking rent we all know this year was hard

for goddamn it's only vacant by the way yeah exactly did you do rent reductions for your tenants you've bought a you've bought a

sports girl franchise out there you've got a Bardot out there can I be honest when I was living at home I worked, saved enough for a house deposit.

Oh my God, no, do not do this. It's any of you people travelling around the world on your gap years. Welcome to Australian story. You're buying your designer,

you're buying your G-star jeans, wasting your money on presents for your girlfriend. I saved every penny, guys. By being a virgin. Yeah. Whatever it may be.

Breastfeeding until you're 29 so you can't buy meals out. I've heard it all, guys. Anything else? Oh, my God. Oh, you want more? Okay. You're fucked in the head. I bought it in Noble Park.

Stop. I don't want to hear this goddamn story. Listen, listen. No, no, Jen, you'll be on board. I'm interested. I'm a bit low at the moment. I'd like to be inspired. COVID's been hard.

The thing is, right? I'd like a good rags to riches story. A rags to dumb bitches story. Everyone complaining about housing affordability, just they want it all, right? They want to live out of home

and they want to buy a house. Yes. Move back in with your parents, everyone. I feel like we've done 45 minutes of content and it's only been 18 minutes. We are really burning through this. This is classic. This is classic Nazeem where he gets on,

he tees off about everything, finishes the episode and then gets ashamed of this show and starts ignoring the fact that he's ever been near as people ask him. Oh, you're a dumb dumb. And he's like, no, no, no, that's not me. Can I say, though, if you live in one of Nizam's properties and you ever want to smoke inside or whatever, just fucking do it.

And then point to this podcast and be like, well, he does drugs. Yep, yep. Chuck out your ashtray. You put it out in the wall. Fucking start taking shits in your bedroom. Air conditioning? I'm sweating. It does have an air conditioner. That's a pretty good feature. It's got doors that open.

A bit of air in there. The oven works. Chuck your head in there. I would say the cross breeze in this would be delightful. I've got to say. It's pretty good. If you like the smell of Tommy it just keeps coming back around.

Well, I can't notice it anymore because it's my smell. So it's not an issue to me. By the way, DJ, will you be thinking about this for days after? I'm just coming in in a bit of comedy band.

No. Never come to any of our homes. Jesus Christ. Fuck. I remember before we moved, like the last house I was in, it was like a small house. I remember Mooney coming in and going, is this how you fucking live? And I was like, alright mate.

If you haven't noticed, you're here because I have a podcast, which is the only thing I've got going on. You've got fucking radio. This is where you live if the podcast is the highlight of your week. That's how it works. You've got a decent place, so that's unreasonable what Moody said, right? You know what I feel bad about?

Yeah. We moved and that place is... I walked in and I was like, this is great. Yeah. But then I've been to Nick Capper's house since then. Yeah. He's got a better house. I'm like, how the fuck does Nick Capper live somewhere nice?

Does he do farming stuff on the side? No, I think his girlfriend basically pays for everything. I think that's how that works I assume it is a really nice house though I assume when you see Nick Capper on stage and you realise he's a professional comedian

you go well someone else is paying for this I assume so oh now you're being nice now you're like well he hasn't seen it if he sees it he'll probably take it to y'all all I'm saying is that like

if you're complaining about being a poor podcast and you're living in a place like Toorak or East East Melbourne I'm getting where you're complaining about being a poor podcast and you're living in a place like Turack or East Melbourne, I'm getting where you're at. The suburb's fine. Yeah, right. The suburb's fine. Then I've got no sympathy for you.

I'm not going to defend this apartment when you're living in a ritzy part of town. You're not going to defend it from who? The rest of us live in Noble Park, mate. The rest of us are living in normal suburbs. Who are you going to defend the apartment from yourself? Because that's the only person who's attacking it. No one else here said anything about Tommy's apartment.

There are people out there that are clapping their hands in agreement. Yeah, they're lifting their top hats and doffing them. People out there. And then they're polishing their monocles. And then they're pulling off their golf clubs. And they're doing their golf gloves, rather, and they're doing a polite golf clapping agreement. I agree.

I can see that. People out there have thought Tommy's apartment, I've never seen it, but it's had it too good for too long. Yes, exactly. It needs to fucking cop it. I have no idea what it's like. And do you know who we need to take down Tommy D'Acelo? A landowner.

A person who owns multiple properties. Someone who can speak truth to power. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The real underdog. Okay, this is genuine. I just... Finally. Okay, all right.

Finally. We're getting the real Nazeem. Okay. These youths out there. No, stop. These youths. Stop doing this. Do we find out at the end that Naz owns this apartment

and he's going to evict you, Tom? Is that what's going to happen? This is what I don't get, all right? Stop. Are you going to move your dog in here? You want to buy a house? Are you going to move your fucking pets in here? That's what's going to happen?

I've got to say, what's really nice is if I piss the bed, which happens frequently, because it's so close to the bathroom anyway, I don't have to feel too bad because I'm like, near enough is good enough. Just tip it on the side and it goes downhill into the drain. You know, I nearly got there. I'm not going to get this out, so anyone interested in knowing how to take financial

responsibility for your life, send me a message. I'll help you out. We have young people that listen to this. Listen, come on. Let him speak, the dumb cunt investor. Here we go. The brown foot investor. There we go. The brown foot investor.

All right, don't move out of home. Step number one. Okay, but what if you have to move out of home? Why do you have to move out of home? Because you live in a fucked family situation. You've done it 17. Well, your culture needs to change. I'm not looking at 10.

But you, your guys. Okay, hold on. You heard it here first. No, Z-Pace Colonies. We can fuck off out of my life. Just hold on to your kids and love them a little bit longer. I just feel like you're popping off about white people when a Polynesian person said that. I agree with Jan.

What if you're in a family of eight and they all live in this apartment? Shouldn't someone move out? This is a little bit small for white people. Shouldn't someone move out in that case? This whole thing is directed at white people. I just want to make that absolutely clear. Okay. So if brown people

complain about it... They know, but they don't complain about it. Have you ever seen a brown person on the news go... Yes! Me and all my friends all the time. I've seen a brown person complain. Fucking Landon is a slumlord. I've got 20 minutes worth recorded at the moment, yes. Yes.

In my experience on this episode that's all they do. If it's not apartments it's fucking Chadston and it's worldwide ranking. It's a water that I don't want.

Oh God. Guarana is a hell of a drug. 2020 sparked a lot of something in a way. I don't know who I am right now. Yeah, those drugs just kicked in, I think. That chronic just kicked in about three years later. Do you want me to turn the AC on, legitimately? You know what it is?

I basically thought... You've got a jumper on. I thought, I want a jumper, but I thought... Oh, he's not wearing a t-shirt underneath there. I can't take the jumper off, and I'm just sweating. That's madness. Do some topless podcasting. I was like, I'll take the jumper off. That's madness. Do some topless podcasting. I was like, I'll wear the jumper.

You wore the jumper without wearing a shirt underneath. You have the stones to come in here and help me get how I live my life. This is how you save money. And you're going to walk around with a jumper and no t-shirt underneath. This is unbelievable. Lesson two, listeners, only buy what you need. It's summer. Why do you only need a jumper?

Let's go back to family advice again. If you're a mother, please put a shirt on your son. Don't let your son leave the house wearing just a fucking overcoat and underwear and longs and nothing else. God. If he's going to stay at your house until well into adulthood, buy him some fucking t-shirts or singlets for God's sake. If you're going to have access to your child for 30 years,

teach him how to dress. There's three decades to play with. Yeah, you're right. This starts at the top. It's like we want to end police brutality. Just attacking the officers that have done the crimes, that's not good enough. We need to rethink the whole system.

Change begins at the top. This sounds like how the government went into indigenous communities and told them how to live their lives. Is that what you're doing? Do you know what, Naz? I mean, you've literally come into a man's house and told him how to live his life. I feel like I'm punching up.

I'm arguing against your... You said... I was literally hitting my head in a pot. I just leaned backwards and poured myself a drink from the tap. This is good. I'm going to move into a smaller house. It's great. It's convenient.

You're welcome. Yeah. And I've just poured myself a drink and I can take a piss from here. Easy. Easy. Oh, boy. Feel that beautiful breeze from the air con. Yep.

It's a bit rattly, so... Yeah, it's... You'll hear it. It's a bit broken. You might hear it in the recording. Nice water. What a great place. Let me have a sip of the water.

What a great place. I want to be a good... You can have the remote. You can control the temp and... Are you renting this out on Airbnb, Tommy? I might. If you go on holiday, I might move in here. I think this is a great place. Yeah, remote you can control the temp are you renting this out on Airbnb Tommy if you go on holiday I might move in here I think this is a great place yeah why would you

I mean you could get what like 80 bucks a night here oh easy so what's that so then like someone stays a week stay

yeah yeah yeah a night I mean 20 bucks you could attach this to another apartment you could attach yourself to the microphone

so people can hear you when you talk. It's a good place. Do you think this is a nice granny flat maybe for you? I'm just, all of this, I'm taking it all back. I've just realised that this is, like, you've got a home. I've come into your home. I've got a home. You've got a home.

He's just realised he's looking for someone else's house. I've just realised what I'm here for. He's bagging his own house for a second. It's also like the eighth time you've been here and you're treating it as if this is all a completely new space that you've never been in before.

I always feel like just because there's a microphone you can just say things that you shouldn't say. But I shouldn't say these because actually when I leave I've said these things. Yeah, exactly.

Then I'll get a text from you with a laundry list of things that you would like edited out of the show that you regret saying. I do love often being on the same episodes as Naz because

you really do see the arc of pride. Comes out swinging. And then it goes. A sugar rush. He's like friendly and then the pride takes over. Then it turns into anger, which then turns into shame, which then turns into depression, which now we are sitting here in regret.

And then he realises people out there that follow him in the Muslim community are going to hear this and then disown him. And then he's like, oh, no, actually, Tommy, can you take everything out? Yeah. It's like a child's fifth birthday party. And the start of the ep is the lollipops have come out. Everyone's riding high, running around going psycho. Mom, bring over another fairy bread.

I'm sure you know a lot about fifth birthday. Anyway, that's it. I'm still swinging. I'm still swinging. Yeah, let's go back to Naz's life story. Yeah, back in Noble Park when you're having a kid's party and you're having to eat soil. Yeah.

What's happening there? To save money. You're five years old. You're cashing your money bag. You're getting your lolly bag at the end of the party and you're giving it back to the party host to get a bit of money to save for an investment. You're selling it door to door.

I don't think we celebrated, but we didn't have time. We were all working. Right, yeah. On the plough. Yeah, just, you know. At age five. What was your first job? Leaflet delivery.

Leaflet delivery. Yeah, leaflets for what? He's been delivering leaflets for his fucking properties this whole time. No, they're bills, not leaflets for his fucking properties this whole time. No, their bill's not leaflets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pay this cunt. What was your first job?

Working at BP. BP, doing what? Cleaning toilets. Oh, okay. We talked about this last week. Yeah, we talked about this like two weeks ago. Which is why his toilet is so close to his bed. It makes him feel comfortable.

It takes him back to a different time. If you like what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. To be fair, if you went into Tommy's bathroom... Goodnight, Tootie. If you went into Tommy's bathroom, you wouldn't know that he'd been paid to clean his toilet, to be honest. That's also why you can buy condoms for $1. It's also why there's a code on that toilet as well.

Yep, yep. That was it. Yeah, started on the toilets and they said, if you do a good job at toilets, we'll move you up to work in the register. Did you get to it? Guess what? Never made it to the register. What did you keep stuffing up in the toilet?

I kept cleaning it and then immediately doing a big burry in it. And I thought because I worked there at that, that meant I didn't have to clean it. So I didn't think that that was very cool. How do you fuck up cleaning a toilet by the way? It's a good question. I think if I

look with the benefit of hindsight if I had to think about it critically now maybe a big part of it would have been that when I was in the manager's office one day

I could see all the security cameras and I worked out the corner of the store that they couldn't see so I would sit in there and play Snake on my phone. Really?

That may have had something to do with it. Who's to say? How did they know that though if they couldn't see. So I would sit in there and play Snake on my phone. Really? That may have had something to do with it. Who's to say? How did they know that, though, if they couldn't see you? They were just like, where the fuck is he? Because it's not like, they're not going, let's watch Tommy doing the wrong thing. They just would be content in seeing Tommy. So if they couldn't see you at all, it's like, this is not good. I think I'm fooling them because they can't see me on the cameras.

But this isn't Chadston Shopping Centre. This is more like a Tommy Daslow apartment. It's a pretty small service station. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's not like, if there's a camera in a prison and they're like, oh, we can't see prisoner 123, that's a good thing. It's like, no, no, no, if you can't see them, that's bad.

Raise the alarm. You're not just looking for them making sure they're not committing another crime. Right, he's falling into the toilet while he's cleaning. That's how the whole Epstein thing happened. They couldn't see him on the camera. And then he fucking died. Yet another time we have to compare Tommy to Jeffrey Epstein.

The parallels here are endless. What was your first job? Well, my first job, well, okay, sorry. You've had jobs. Yes. No. No, I'm simply a soft little baby and I cry every night

About not living close to the city In your mind You got it easy I thought he was going to say How many apartments do you own Yeah fuck I've never owned anything in my life Muslim music

She's not Greek I will say I was a child actor So I You're a child actor Oh my god Yeah so This is good

I didn't know this Oh yeah no i was in um what's eating gilbert grape sorry jen that was like i've just i've just been all this rage of the last half hour sparring with nazeem and then it's just it's just gone out and you've been you've been nothing but nice to me this last half hour that's fine you've been sticking've been nothing but nice to me this last half hour. That's fine. You've been sticking up for me. I get to leave this fucking town.

To the listener, we do have to say, I think, a second before we hit record, Jen said, this is the ugliest town I've ever been. No, no, no. You did. Hey, I'm just shitting on one person. I'm shitting on one apartment. You're shitting on all of us, Jen.

As we start the show. What did you say? What did you say? As we start the show, Jen said. I said it'sitting on one person. I'm shitting on one apartment. You're shitting on all of us, Jen. As we start the show... What did you say? What did you say? I said it's not a sexy town. Jen said this is the ugliest town I've ever been in. And the three of us are like, welcome to our town. And then she said, and I've been to Canberra. Oh, okay.

You're missing a vital piece of the thing. I said it's an unsexy town. It's not a sexy town. And I've been to Canberra. Canberra is more sexy than Melbourne. The town planning. No, I'm talking about the people, the planning, the climate. Pimaphores.

You're always fucking... Melbourne's on a grid, whereas Sydney's on a curve. Exactly. Dangerous curves ahead. We're sorry we don't live in the Pamela Anderson of Australia We're down here in fucking Kate Moss What is a pinafore? What's a pinafore?

Okay so it's like It's like a dress But it almost looks like an apron Basically if you're a woman And you work in the media Or arts management in Melbourne You own a pinafore Right

What do you want us women in Melbourne to wear? Or the women in Melbourne? Us women Us is in Melbourne And you own a pinafore. What do you want us women in Melbourne to wear? Us women. Us is in Melbourne and the women of us. It's the voice for landowners and women in media. How should the landlords? Should they dress a bit more like lords of the land and have fucking top hats on?

I'm just someone whose parents... Down at the golf club, we allow the women to wear whatever they like. If they choose to own a pinafore, it's not a problem. If you know Noble Park, you'll know there's no golf course. It's not that noble either, is it? The noblest thing to do is get out. Anyway, just get out.

Just to buy up and get out. I was too scared to live there, actually. That's why I moved back in with my mum. Oh, really? Yeah, where do you live now, Nazeem? Well, so after buying the place with all my saved money from saying... Fuck up about your saved money. Not wasting it.

Yeah, yeah. Delivering bangles and then stealing people's birthday cards and buying out of the letterboxes. How lucky you never suffered any kind of, you know, huge injury or had someone close to you who was long-term sick or, you know... There are certainly those exceptions. There are certainly those exceptions. But there's exceptions that prove the rule.

Do you move out of home because... Why did you move out of home? I moved out of home because I was sexually abused by my dad. Okay. Not at all. Just wanted to stop you in your tracks. We've all got stuff going on. No, because I lived in worse.

I lived in Maribor. That's why I fucking moved out. Because there was no higher education. Where did you move to? When I was 17, I moved to the big smoke, Ballarat. Okay. What about people that move out of home in Melbourne? It's nice.

It's very nice. Thank you. The train station's nice. Yeah, it is. It's very nice. Ballarat train station. Yeah, and I went to the Big W. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they could really tell. You went to all the things on the post office. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to, I had a pie at the cafe on the platform. Which one? Oh, on the platform. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a good drive-thru bakery there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to, I had a pie at the cafe on the platform. Which one? Oh, on the platform. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a good drive-thru bakery there.

Oh, yeah. Golden Nugget. Well, I can't drive, otherwise I wouldn't be on the fucking train. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. That's cool. I believe you can walk through it. Okay.

Yeah. Really? It's okay. You can walk in. Oh, man. Have you ever not been served in a drive-thru because you've been walking? Yes. Yeah, same.

It's fine. You know what? Canberra. I'll put them on notice your mcdonald's and monica they won't fucking let you walk really yeah and then i took a piece of the drive hell yeah wait in front of a car like they won't serve you but they will let you piss in it what do they say they say you're not a car you're not in a car yeah they were like oh we're closed we're just doing drive-thru and so then we walked through the drive-thru and they

were like oh no you're not in a car we're not like oh we're closed we're just doing drive-thru and so then we walked through the drive-thru and they were like oh no you're not in a car we're not serving you and then I was like well fuck this and then I pissed in the drive-thru right yeah

that's the best story ever put this in your happy meal you know what it's still sexier than Melbourne I got yeah I had that happen to me once at a Macca's I was walking through

the drive-thru and they wouldn't serve me so then I just waited for a car to come past and gave them money to get me nuggets and then they drove off. Oh my, so good. So good. The ultimate scam.

That is so good. You know, there's another Melbourne... Someone on another podcast is telling that story from the other side of that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This motherfucker. Yeah, it stayed with me. I reckon if I saw the people, I'd recognise them. Oh, really?

It's seared into my head. Do you know what? I was literally'd recognise them. Oh, really? It's seared into my head. Do you know what? I was literally thinking about this last night. You know what's seared into my head? Very similar sort of experience. Well, not completely similar, but I remember being... My parents, we used to go on holiday to Lorne down the beach. Someone's doing all right.

Could have saved that money and bought another house. Yeah. So we were down there and i remember being like really young and going up uh like you know they ring the bell for dinners to be picked up from a certain point or whatever went over there and there was a well-to-do woman just talking to someone else and uh mom and dad had ordered me like a little bowl of chips and she was just talking for dinner yeah well i was like five or something like that and And she was just eating, hoeing into my chip bowl. And it stuck with me.

What the hell? It stuck with me. And it came up in my head on a run last night. Jumped into my head when I was running down the street last night. Similar story about Craig Foster, who I love and respect and fear. Yeah, who's an SBS guy. Yeah, but former Socceroo. Former Socceroo.

Used to co-host. Great player for the Socceroos. Average commentator. He volunteers at Addison Road Food. guy you know but former soccer former soccer used to co-host great player for the soccer he volunteers at the Addison Road food bank yeah

every time I've seen you know I'll give him this every time I've ever seen him talk about Liverpool on the commentary he's

been absolutely shit ass go on really yeah but you know what we just had the Australian

Muslim Achievement Awards and he won the best non-Muslim award thing he's our best non-muslim award thing he's our best non-muslim guy so you have a category for a non but call the abyssinian award because there's historical thing about some non-muslims that were good to anyway so that's like wait you don't know that means you're probably not gonna get it that's like in the middle of the name for the next year

the wonder white award yes but. But what about good, non-wisdom brown people? You know what I mean? You could be up for it. Oh, wow. It's like you don't have the Oscars and go, anyway,

just in the middle, here's the award for best book. Yeah, because you're not a good judge. Just for a bit of a change of pace. Just keep shooting on the awards and you'll definitely

get a nomination. There's too many white people rocking up to the awards going, what about us? When's our turn? But the Oscars do have best Foreign, and that's it. And it's literally like an idea that cinema, Oscar-worthy movies

are made in America, and then everything else in the world. That's a great idea. That's what you should call the award then, Best Foreign Award. And Craig Foster wins Best Foreign Award. Best naughty. Anyway, Craig Foster, what do you do? Best heathen. Call him out.

Fucking take him down, King. Okay, where's the Brazil World Cup? When was that? Best cunt is going to hell. No, no. Yeah. We'll put in a good word for him. We can bring his award.

When was the Brazil World Cup? Oh, it was the Brazil World Cup, basically. Did you go? I got to go Remember that show That Jamal hosted Called The Full Brazilian

Oh yeah I hit him up And asked to be on it Absolutely got nothing Yeah Must be nice It was It was okay

Love this tension By the way Yeah That's another nice part Of Tommy's home So good to be wanted by SBS just the unspoken hatred

yeah it's baked into the walls yeah love it so you're in Brazil that's the smell anyway I was in Brazil and so it was me

and Aaron Smith which is me and the producer slash camera guy we did it just the two of us we were the comedy guy no we were the comedy

two people there how did he go on the awards has he won comedy guy no we were the we were the comedy two people there how did he go on the awards has he won anything on the non-Muslim awards he'd be up there he'd be up there he knows phrases and says

anyway he's a good guy the rest of the people there were just soccer people soccer footy guys and we were quite intimidating because they're just like really you know

jockey type dudes including Fuzz Craig Fuzz anyway so we ordered dinner one night I ordered my food and it kind of came and it was sort of

vaguely funny it was on my side of the And it kind of came and it was sort of vaguely funny. It was on my side of the table, but kind of near him. But he just started eating the whole meal and literally ate my whole meal. And I was too nervous to say, that's my food. And you know he knew exactly what he was doing. So hang on. My stolen food injustice, I was like, this person's seared into my memory. I could picture that.

If I saw them, I'd recognize them. Carl tells a similar thing from childhood, this stolen food injustice, I was like, this person's seared into my memory. I could picture that. If I saw them, I'd recognise them. Carl tells a similar thing from childhood, this stolen food memory. This person is seared into my memory. I'd recognise him if I saw him. Your guy is actually famous. No shit, you'd recognise him if you saw him. And also, he just gave him an award for being the best bloke. It's kind of like a bully, you know, like how you just try to suck up to him.

Was he the captain of the soccer team? He's a good guy. Did you give him an extra best chewer award or something? Oh, mate, you really ate the fuck out of my meal. Adam Smith and I were just elbowing each other. Did you win the war for best cuck? That should be a category. Best Muslim food cuck.

There's a lot of Muslim cucks. If that was always a cuck, someone that's just like a bit of a, you know. To be cucked is your wife fucking someone else and you watching, right? Yeah. You know like the circus people at the Adelaide Fringe, they're always in these polyamorous relations. Similar. They're all cucks.

Sort of. It's cuck adjacent, but that's its own different thing. Yeah. But yeah. Adelaide Fringe theatre people. And just Adelaide Fringe. And partners. Adelaide Fringe in general is its own category as well. No, we have a lot of Muslims that invite like uncles, okay. Adelaide Fringe theatre people. And just Adelaide Fringe. And partners. Adelaide Fringe in general is its own category as well.

No, we have a lot of Muslims that invite, like, uncles, mate. They invite, like, ministers from liberal governments that maybe are immigration ministers that are locking up Muslims or having really horrible things. I think this is going to be slightly different. Hello, come to the mosque. We love you. And we're like, what the fuck?

Have some respect. You know, so they'd win that award. I don't know how that connects to anything we're talking about. Just move on. No, he's talking about the award for best non-Muslim. Oh, as in people... Best cuck award. They're inviting people who don't have your interest.

Oh, right. You're writing the enemy in. Yeah. Are we not eligible for having you on this podcast so often and asking you questions and trying to learn more about the community? You know what? Genuinely. So it only just happens.

So you've got about six months to get your next thing in. We can work on this. Can we do an ad for the Quran in the middle here and try and get some people to know? An ad for the Quran. Wait, how would that go? Have you heard the good news? If it helps on the socials this week,

we can put up some nice pictures of Muhammad and get everyone interested. You make it like a bad infomercial where the start of it is someone opening a cupboard and just Bibles falling on them. Tommy, can you do some cartoons of Muhammad's face and get everyone interested? This was a bad idea. Okay, so now we're at the part of regret. This is the part where I'm like, okay, I'm not going to share this. There we go. There we go.

There we go. There we go. What could... But genuinely, for six months, what could we do? No, you just got... Look, honestly, we are so starved for people to like us

because most of the time people fucking hate us. Yeah, I wonder why. She can't have anything to do with you walking into people's houses. Yeah. Are the rest of you like Nazeem? If so. Are you auditioning for a new cunt version of The Block,

by the way? Oh, man. We would love to see you judging that, honestly. No, it's Muslimite for the white guy. It's just you come into the house and tell me it's shit. There's no solution. There's no advice. You as a block host, though, you'd be like, Bondi.

You're going to lose so much fucking money on this. It's not even worth doing up. This is fucking insane. Yeah, go just live in a house in Victoria. How many times do we have to tell you that's not the show? There's no renovating in episode one. An apartment. What about the strata fence?

Are you guys fucking insane? There's 12 episodes, but 11 of them are just people saving up for the renovations as well. Yeah, that's great. 90% of the season is just the contestants living with their mum and dad. That would be a really good show. And just dutifully making sandwiches every day to take with them on public transport to their jobs. Yeah, all this contestant, they bought lunch today. That's going to set them back.

They've fucked it. They've really fucked it. It all adds up, guys. We've got to get back to this. I was interested. We deviated. Jen was a child actress. Oh, yeah.

Shit. Yeah. So I did an ad for some Korean cosmetics company. Oh, really? So not seen here. When I was a baby. Yeah. You're like Arnie. Oh, yeah. You're like when I was a baby. Yeah, it was like... You're like Arnie.

Oh, yeah. You're like Arnie. What do you mean? I guess so. What did Arnie do? In many ways, I am like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Is that not very apparent? Do we simply need to dive into it more?

I don't understand. We get it. You fucked your mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back in the day, Arnie was like the... A lot of celebs have done it, but go to Japan to do ads because they'll never be seen in the US.

It was actually like quite a good time. The late 90s was quite a good time if you were like ethnically ambiguous. Yeah, because like all of like South Asia started doing like shooting stuff over here. So I looked Asian enough, but not, I mean, I'm not Asian. I'm Polynesian. But yeah, so I did like, I did an ad for the Korean. What did you have to do? What was the?

I'll show you a steal from it. My friend found it. And you guys can post it on the link. Was it moisturizer? No, I mean, no, I was a baby. They're not putting fucking makeup on a baby. That would be fucked up. They put powder on a baby. No, this mean, no. I was a baby. They're not putting fucking makeup on a baby. That would be fucked up. They put powder on a baby.

No, this is me. They put powder on a baby. Are you the Asian mum? No, I'm the baby. Are you the Asian mum? What the fuck? I was a child actress and I played a mum. She's on the ice.

She's on the ice. I played an Asian mum. What are you talking about? I'm squinting in the sun. Asian mum. She's doing the eyes. Look. Let me look. She's doing the eyes. No, I don't think so. Zoom about? I'm squinting in the sun. Asian mum. She's doing the eyes. Look. Let me look.

She's doing the eyes. No, I don't think so. Zoom in. I'm squinting in the sun. She's squinting in the sun. It's a studio shot. No, it's not. It was shot in Rush Cutters Bay in fucking Sydney.

So they used the shot of you squinting. Oh my God. Fuck all of it. Atlanta 96. Have you worked with Pablo Francis? It was the official makeup brand of the Atlanta 96 Olympic Games. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The official makeup of the Olympics. Yeah, yeah. I remember the Olympics. And then I was also on... Putting on a bit of mascara as you were doing 100 metres. For the Korean team, I guess. And then I was on a TV show called Backyard Science. Oh, yeah.

And we would do experiments. Oh, wow. What were the experiments? Backyard Science sounds like such a sus time. I think it's still on. They just cycle through child actors. Do you want to come behind the shed and do some science? Have you heard of Chronic?

Yeah, and then I got more into music So I stopped doing it But I also had normal jobs Like I worked at a Boost Juice And I worked at the Boost People who worked at Boost were cool They were like

That was a job you wanted I worked in the city though On the weekends So there was just no one there Yeah But is that See when I was growing up We always thought

The good looking girls Would get jobs At the hairdressers And the chemist That was a tradition So what Carl's trying to say Jen No no I'm telling you the good-looking girls would get jobs at the hairdressers and the chemist. So what Carl's trying to say, Jen? No, no. I'm sorry.

I was so passive-aggressive with you. No, no. My job after Boost Juice was working at a chemist. Yes. Thank God. That's what I'm saying. We didn't have Boost Juice back then. So was that the... No, no.

I reckon Boost Juice was where all the hot kids used to work. Oh, that's what I'm asking. Did the chemists come and headhunt you from Boost Juice? Yeah. They're like, let's hit some juice bars, see if there's any good-looking women out there that we can employ at our chemist. Harvey Weinstein. It's weird.

He asked me to come meet him at his hotel, and he was like, I've got a role for you at this chemist. I've got a Boost Juice. Oh, fuck. Yeah, that does sound... Actually, think about just the term Boost Juice. Like, you could use that as well. Did this ever happen to you or anyone you know?

But, like, I remember when I was in high school, like, one of my friends... Actually, a couple of friends just at Flinders, like, after school, kids would just go to Flinders and hang out at the... Anyway, like, some model recruiter came up and said, hey, you're pretty... You'd be a good model, and gave her his card.

And she went on and had, like, legit acting... Sorry, modelling jobs. Yeah. But as an adult approaching a child calling him good looking yeah does that still happen okay we i've told this on the show before but speaking of chadston and the bowling center there me and my friend used to go bowling there a fair bit and there was this old man who worked there and he would always come up to my friend when we were playing bowling and he would like squeeze him on the arms and and like

try and get him to join this league that they were starting up for the AMF bowling at Chadston like he'd always just like appear behind my friend and start squeezing his bicep and be like he got really strong arms what the hell you'd be great

you'd be great in our league do you want to come back and play on Mondays and he was like yeah that'd be cool and he like tells his mum there's like there is absolutely no

is that how Dusty got recruited like maybe they do that is that part of the is that how they recruit I don't know anything about football. Is that part of the... Is that how they recruit? I don't know anything about football. I don't know. No, I said bowling. Didn't they want to recruit him for...

No, for bowling. Oh, for bowling. Oh, you had AFL, AMF. Oh, AMF. That's a huge leap. Wow, that's a hell of a bowling arm you've got. Want to come and kick a football professionally? I love the idea that AMF is a football league as well.

No F in the title. What does that stand for? AMF. Australian Multicultural Foundation is another organisation with the... Yeah, let's list all the... Matches of football. Ah, motherfucker. Yes.

Oh, he's a bad boy again I gotta go guys I gotta go He's getting spiky again All insects got into the V-can Oh no So this is a horrible episode What?

It's like that It's so nice to be in the same room with each other It's good to be here You're not looking me in the eye Even if it is this room Even if it is Tommy's apartment This is like our Christmas party I need to go to the bathroom so bad

After all this toilet talk and water talk and drink talk just jump over his bed I know this is good because everyone's gone crazy and that's good

because we're friends we're comfortable in each other's company and stuff like that that's what I thought I thought I've got like a little bit of a quandary and I thought maybe you two guys would be

I feel like this is a stitch up no it's not a stitch up at all you might be good help and Tommy as well now I've had a a thing that's happened to me lately that

there's a bit of a concern that I'd like you to it's called 2020 honey and we've all been going through let's queen if only it was January and then my dick

would be bigger is this a health thing? No, not at all. I would not be bringing it to fucking you. Is it a financial question? It's a problem I have with this apartment and I think you're a good person to solve it. Can you get me a drink is my question.

No, so I've... It's a friendship problem. So I've... it's a friendship problem. So I've, you know, there's always something going on with me. Tommy's sweating. No, no, no, nothing to do with Tommy. Nothing to do with Tommy. You know, friends come and go. So, you know, people come and go, whatever.

Now, usually when friends come and go with me, it's because I've made them go. But someone's gone out of my friendship sphere lately. Did you have a friend break up? Sort of. Sounds like you. Yeah, yeah. And you know this person.

I do? Yeah, yeah. Is it me? No, no, no. You're here. So I thought maybe you guys would be... Physically. Yeah.

Emotionally? Mentally, I'm in the toilet. Physically, I'm not all that far in the toilet Physically I'm not all that far From the toilet So maybe you guys Could help me with this So

I haven't talked To this friend For probably Six to eight months Okay And I'm getting No responses I've sent

Dozens of messages Nothing's happened at all No responses In fact I've asked them To be on this podcast No response Nothing've asked them to be on this podcast no response nothing at all

used to be on this podcast quite a bit interesting nothing going yeah his name Ronald Chang ah

I'm getting absolute are you asking us to do the voice I'm getting because okay oh he's back does he read your messages no so wait is that leaving me on unread on what leaving me on unread It was okay. Oh, he's back. Does he read your messages?

No. So why are you messaging him? Leaving me on unread everything. I mean, I don't want to be a dick about it. He's been a bit busy. No, no, no. Look, that was the first three or four months. Maybe he's busy. Is the reason you're bringing it up because you want to make the situation worse?

No, no. You know me. I'm a pizza. Are we going to message him? Wait, wait on wait on let's let's let's let's figure this out so uh i've been sending you messages leaving me on unread i thought maybe maybe it's sort of a weird thing where he hasn't he hasn't read them or he's been busy or whatever it is i ended up texting his uh his wife and said oh what's going on? Can you make your husband be friends with me again? And she's like, what are you talking about?

I said, I just feel like we've broken up. And then she comes back like a day later and goes, I'd probably just leave it for a while. I'm like, oh, so there is a problem. What did you do, you piece of shit? What was your last interaction like? That's the thing, I don't know. Whatever it is, first of all, cards on the table,

I'm on Team Ronnie right now I caught up with him a couple months ago and it was a delight actually like I think you just messaged me a couple days like we're reading them Maybe that's part of the problem. No, well, I... Oh, and you hate Asians. No, no, no. Jocky, that's a joke. Say it, mate. Say it. That's not a count for something. So, but he, look, he's a shit-stirrer like me. I'm a shit-stirrer, he's a shit-stirrer.

So he'll stir shit. I think what's happened is I've stirred the shit back at him a bit too often. And so he'll go out and stir the pot. Have you got a job at the ABC as an old person? I mean, yeah. No, I don't have a job. So I think he's a bit, yeah. So how do you stir the pot?

I think there's a little bit of a case of he can give it but can't take it at this point. That's what I think. You little freaking, I don't want to say the word bitch, but you little bitch. You're coming on here. I'm lucky you didn't say bitch. No, but look, so you're trying to like, are you trying to not say sorry to him?

I don't know what I did. Well, you know exactly what you did. Sounds like you know about stirring shit. I think you know exactly what you did. What did you do? I don't know exactly what I did. What did you do? I don't know exactly what I did. You can think of an interaction right now. I can see it in your eyes.

You definitely can trace this back to an interaction where Ronnie did not enthusiastically respond. But there's heaps of them. Exactly. I think that's the whole fucking point, right? I think it's a slow drip. What do you think it could be? I think he does do a lot.

Whenever he complains about something online, I'll maybe take the devil's advocate. I'll maybe think of the opposite. Maybe. Again, I don't know what I did. But hypothetically, here are some things that I have done. But it's only the way that he plays it as well. It's all a joke.

It's comedy. We're all joking. He does the same thing as me. I live in fear of your messages sometimes. I's all a joke. It's comedy. We're all joking. He does the same thing as me. I feel, I live in fear of your messages sometimes. I'm so fucking terrified. I'll post something and then you'll give me shit and I will absolutely crumble.

I don't see you regularly enough to I feel like that's the thing. The distance makes it worse. At a point, it does not. I haven't done Insta lives for months because Carl would comment every time i do them just telling people shaming me about my food choices actually you know what first time i ever did i think i posted a photo is this going back six or seven years yeah i posted a photo of me

nick cody and reese nicholson we were doing a show in regional new south wales and we weren't friends yet i don't think and you but Cody was tagged and so it was in Maryborough and you just wrote Maryborough underneath the photo and I was like

oh shit oh no I'm gonna never be allowed to get into Melbourne see that's that's intimidating behaviour Carl

and the thing is I don't think you know how intimidating you are and if anyone out there has got stories of things that Carl has done. Hashtag Carl Tim.

Time's up, Carl. I'm opening myself up here. I'm missing my friend. Do you want to be congratulated? I'm trying to fix my way. Do you want to be congratulated for saying a bad thing you did? No, no, no. I think we're going around the table.

So first it was Naz decimating Tommy in his apartment. Tommy doesn't care. No, but that was just done in good fun, good spirits. A bit of a line out of looking. Oh, so like what Carl's doing in a run-in. Exactly. No, but when Carl says things, there's a meanness there. There's a meanness there.

You literally said it. We all know what he's doing. No, no, but you know how meanness there. There's a meanness there. You literally said it. We all know what he's doing. No, no, but you know what I mean. He loves Tommy. When I said Marabara. He's in a movie because you hate his house. It's all done in good fun. Bit of fun.

Bit of fun. But when Carl says things. Whereas when I said the town that Ken was in, that's the fucking devil incarnate. No, no, no. I was just, you have a reputation that's all and I was a young

squishy like new comic who'd never been to Melbourne Ronnie's not gonna not be friends with him he's just trying to piss you off probably yeah maybe this is a long game

this is a long game Ronnie sure maybe maybe I don't know his life is comedy so this is a long set up to some

man I can't wait for the punchline you know time zones as well yeah yeah no I'm gonna look it's a delay you've seen we've seen the news So this is a long set up to some... Yeah. Man, I can't wait for the punchline. You know, time zones as well. Yeah, yeah. No, look. It's a delay. You've seen the news.

Yeah. I got Tommy to ask him to be because he's not talking to me. So I got Tommy to ask him to be on the podcast and it was a big nod. Did you say to Tommy, can you be my interpreter? Like he probably... Yeah, yeah. Because I don't speak English. But you know what? No, no.

But you know what? Mark the time. I'll just delete your entire track. Well, he's not talking into his mic, so he won't have to do anything. I will say, my expectations of people overseas are way lower now. Like, he's in one of the worst fucking countries. By the way, from Melbourne to New York, there's not a nine-month delay. I would say that.

No, but their country's falling apart. He's talking to Naz a day ago, whatever it is. What was the last interaction that you and him had back and forth before everything went to shit? Before you guys broke up? Yeah. Good question. Which I would think, if you had questions about it,

that should have been the first place you started. Yeah, look, it's hard to go back that far because... It's very one-sided. It's very one-sided for nine months. For nine months, it is extremely one-sided. As someone said to me this year, sometimes the non-answer is the answer. And you've got to find your enclosure, babe.

Yeah. That's what I'm trying to do here. That's what I'm trying to do here. The friendship's gone, Rob. It's an olive branch. I can't give it to him because he's not reading my olive branches. Hey, question. Does this mean you now have no Asian friends? Wait, aren't you...

Oh, like Chinese-Asian. Oh, right, right, right. You've got none left. You need this Asian. Oh, right, right, right. Southeast Asian. Let me think. You've got none left. You need this guy. Okay, okay. Here's the last back and forth we've had. Okay.

Me said on May 30th... Did you say me said? No, did I? Yes. Me said. That's the voice you go straight to. May 30th. May 30th.

2020, the wretched year that it's been. I sent him a Zoom link So we could talk And his response is Shut the fuck up That's the last Back and forth What about before that then What were you talking about

Like did you want to Just hang with him Or something Yeah what were you Sending him a Zoom Was that when we did The pod with him Or was that something else

That was Something else Okay That was maybe a live Zoom show we did. Oh, yeah, yeah. It would have been, I reckon. Yeah.

Oh, here we go. Something actually a bit off set. I said, want to be on Zoom with us for a bit next Saturday night? We're going to do a live show. And he said, no. And then I put a sad face. And then he said, how about $50 to shut the fuck up? Okay, before that then, when was it good?

It's all like that. So he's saying no to this. He's saying no to this. It must have been something before that., when was it good? It's all like that. So he's saying no to this. He's saying no to this. It must have been something before that. That's how we talk. It's all like that. Maybe he's just hated you forever. Yeah, maybe.

Maybe this was never a friendship. Because we did a podcast with him around end of March, so around March 30, so it must have been something on that or an interaction just after that. Oh, man. If you're listening to this, go back to that podcast and start cutting the audio out and sending it to Carl and going, maybe it was this.

Maybe it was this. Did you go to his apartment? Forensic analysis of that podcast. Yeah, were you looking in the back of the Zoom window going, where's the fucking dunny in this place that you are? Looks like a shithole. You should move. Yeah.

No, I don't think there's anything. There's nothing in the messages. It's all sort of just back and forth. I think it's more like comments on social media. Give us an example. Is it the old Australian people in Decision Making? Yeah, it's that sort of stuff. What do you reply with when you have a show on ABC?

I'd always defend them or whatever. Why? Just because it would annoy him. Okay, well, there's our answer. But he does the same thing with me, though. It's a game. It's back and forth. What does he do to you, though?

I'll say something. He'll do that. When do you shit on the power structure? Yeah. Nowhere. I'm down. Who am I? I'm a podcaster.

Ronnie is a superstar. Mate, he may be a superstar. Even as a superstar. You know Muhammad Ali came back from winning the gold medal. Yes. And then he couldn't even eat. Do not compare Ronnie Chang to Muhammad Ali. Let's be real.

And I feel like maybe he would pop to that. All right. Anyway, so this is my idea. Hopefully you guys can help me out with it. Sure. Because he's not accepting any messages from me. I thought... I'm not fucking...

I'm not getting involved. No. If you would message... But look, you don't have to do anything. You're changing it in his eyes. You don't have to do anything. Don't try and get mean. I'm out.

You don't have to do anything. I've already written the message from you. Is this phone hacks? No, no, no. So we have a different fucking podcast now? Have we travelled through space and time? I'd recommend you send it to his agent. I'm not getting involved.

No, no, no. Look, all you have to do is read it out on this show and we can sort of snip this out and send it to him. Let me read it first. Look, Jen, I'll send you on Facebook. I'll send you that right now. Sorry, I have my phone on. All you have to do is read it out on here.

We can snip it out. We can send him the link. We can just send him just the voice bit on social media. Okay, yeah, yeah, I'll read it. Do you want me to do it? Yeah, yeah, read it out. Here we go. I don't know why I'm clearing my voice, but yeah, go.

Hi, Ronald. Hope you're well. I hear you've had a tiff with everyone's favorite comedy tyrant, Carl Chandler, and I think this is a real shame. As an Asian... Oh, I don't want to say this. I hope you're not... Okay.

I hope you're not mad at Carl for anything race-related. Oh, likely. I know Carl and he's... Oh, nope. Nope, nope, nope. Carl has written here, he's been nothing but inclusive and empathetic to my feelings as a

note to self find out where Jen is from before sending this woman I forgot to check that sorry let Carl back in oh shit

let Carl back in your heart don't make me cancel you I can't in the hierarchy I can't cancel I actually don't have that power right now there's no

no no it's all good it's all good now there's no dodgy sex pest rumors about you and as a male comedian i hate this that's extremely weird all that's doing is drawing attention to yourself you fucking freak oh boy i hate this it's good that's that's clearing that's clearing everything up that's's a good thing. Be friends with Carl. You'll be making a powerful enemy. Wait, if you're friends with him? It's a tie.

This is a threat. This is all over the place. Are you trying to be friends with him? Are you threatening him? Be friends with me or I'll make you laugh. There's a next bit to it. If you end up coming back to Melbourne and want to do an unpaid five-minute spot of stand-up comedy

in the back of some cockroach hotel, you'll only have like 17 other options. Do it for your career, Ronnie. Take him back, your friend Jen. P.S. Please get me on The Daily Show. So I'm happy with about nothing except get me on The Daily Show. You know how that honestly sounds to me? First verse of Stand By Eminem.

Yeah. Honestly, sounds to me, first verse of Stand By Eminem. Yeah. I'm wondering why. Dear Sam. Ronnie. Dear Mr. Too Good To Do A Fucking Podcast. Oh, my God.

No, but you know, putting aside all the sarcasm and all the digs, that was the sweetest thing I think you've ever said or done. Thank you. Now read your one. I don't know. You didn't say anything. I sent it to you there. All right. I mean, honestly.

Okay, you said brackets. Do this while shaking your head like an Indian. What? What? No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Dear Ronnie, please be friends with Carl.

He loves you and he's one of your best friends. He's helped you starting out in comedy. I mean, he invited you to his wedding. Yeah, exactly. You freaking. Read his purse before you react. I mean, he invited you to his wedding. It's too hurtful for me to read that bit

But anyway You got an invite Unlike some other people You're making me read this This is just By the way at the end of this message I'm not your friend anymore I would have done anything to go to that wedding

I mean sure Like everyone else who came I wouldn't have bought him a present But still I mean he's helped all of us a lot with comedy You in particular When you started out He gave you that great advice but still, I mean, he's helped all of us a lot with comedy. You in particular. When you started out, he gave you that great advice.

Don't do the eyes until he found out you were actually Asian. Oh, by the way, congrats on the big news. You're starring in that new Marvel Comics movie. Amazing. I hear you play a superhero that can control inclement weather. I believe your name is Rain Man. Nice little joke in there. He'll appreciate that.

Please don't make me be his only friend that's not a white 30-year-old unemployed open mic-er. Your friend, Nazeem. P.S. Please get me on the Daily Show. P.S.S. It's actually P.B.S. Would you like to rent a house in Opal Park?

Tears gone cold, I wonder why. And there's a happy ending to that song, yeah? It's involved in Westgate Bridge. Yeah, he puts his pregnant wife in the back of the car and he drives the car off the bridge. I saw this one shit on the podcast that made me sick. Well, good luck to that. It's helping things.

I hate comedy. I hate Melbourne. I hate comedy. I hate friendship. Yeah. Turn me off that. I hate comedy I hate Melbourne I hate comedy I hate friendship yeah turn me off that I hate Tommy's house I hate my house I hate me

I only love Toot the only good person is Craig Foster yeah Wonderweight alright the only good non-Muslim

this is a weird way to end yeah we're ending, right? But we better end. Nazeem's got to go do a fucking science quiz on the radio. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. On ABC.

Networks and on Radio National. Oh, fucking hell. Just take it as you were saying. Take a light-hearted look. Just having a light-hearted. Look, there's been a lot of bad news lately. But here on ABC Science Hour, we're taking a lighter look at the news

and the year in science. And who better than Nazeem Hussein? Nazeem, I know you're a comedian. It might be a little early for you this afternoon. Oh, that's funny. How have you been doing with your social distancing, Nazeem? I bet you've been doing it for... I've actually got to go.

For years. When I was living at home with my mum. I bet you've been doing it for for for my for years when I was living at home with my mum saving up we need to shut this down that's that's actually my bit

is it yeah self isolating for years right pretty sure Hannah Gadsby was tweeting that no no no she was

and Hannah Gadsby there must be some mistake because everyone knows me as the exactly everyone knows me as the self isolating guy Is that your bit? ...the self-isolating guy, yeah.

Yeah, that's cool. Dasol would never steal from her. Anyway, have you heard about his new show, Cancer Nanette? That's out in the festivals next year. Rolls off the tongue. Well, this apartment's small enough that you can only self-isolate.

No, you can't. Thank you. Exactly. Yeah, it's a one-bedroom apartment, clearly for one person. Made for self-isolating. Yeah. I don't know how many bedrooms you need.

This is such a weird shit-ass. I have to go. All right, let's wrap it up. Let's give some fucking... Jen Fricker, Nazeem Hussain, thank you very much for joining us. Naz, you've got your podcast, The Survivor's Guide. Survivor's Guide. Check it out.

Check it out. Just do what you want to do in your life. He's checking his phone right now. But, you know, comedy's back on. Concentrate on this show. I'm trying to book a taxi because I've got to be there. I'm supposed to be there in 15 minutes. And Tommy lives in a very busy part of town.

It's close. Hey, as they said to me when they rented this place out, location, location, location. Just a stone's throw away from the ABC. A place that will never be giving you any opportunities. Jen, you got shows coming up around the place? Okay. No.

I have nothing happening. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. God bless. Nazeem. You got something. Whatever you do. You know what?

You got social media or something? I mean, yeah. People who know me know that. Yeah, I don't have any plug. I'm looking forward to embracing the void again. It's going to take me back to March of 2020. What a year! All right, guys.

Thanks very much for listening. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. See you, mate. I miss you Ronnie And they've done it again Oh boy They have too

You've nailed that one What a great episode Yeah, manic Crazy Absolutely manic. One of those ones where, hey, we had a ball doing it. Sometimes I wonder if everyone in the room doing the show is going completely crazy. Is that enjoyable to listen to?

You'd like to think so, but you can understand someone going, this is just four people screaming. I don't know if I'm into this. I think it has a little bit too much to drink, I think, before that. Maybe he had a few too many steaks before the show as well. A bit too loaded up on your cult. Yeah, yeah, that's it. So, yeah, man, he went off like a firecracker.

Like a frog in a sock. He always, that's the, I think it's always been this way, but this is the episode that really galvanized it for me. The Nazeem special. Walk in here, pick one thing, pick one little bugbear that's not in any way reasonable and just spend the entire episode going off about it and doing everything you can to defend that position

to everyone else in the room. I think, weirdly enough, given what we then talk about in the back end of the episode, I think Naz has taken the mantle of one R Chang on this show

yeah yeah yeah comes in and he's very abusive about something about us and does not let go of it yep yep too many bright lights and noises around him

you know a lot of just freaking out yeah Bernie has kicked a big one wow big one

big one that's got I, big one. Big one. I think the ball got stuck on the roof of the portable. Right. Well, that's very triggering for me to hear because this apartment's so shit that Bernie wouldn't even be able to kick a medium-sized one in here. Well, he'd be able to kick it over this one easily, though. That's fair. Yeah, that's very fair. Yeah, like Billy Brownless, the AFL footballer, was renowned for his kicking prowess and how high he could kick it.

And they got him out in the middle of the country in Druin or something like that. And they got him to kick over a wheat silo. Wow. So that's what this episode was like. Bernie didn't kick a big one. Billy kicked a big one. This apartment was the wheat silo. Yeah.

And the four of us combined together like Voltron to form Billy Brownless. Yes. That's right. Wonderful metaphor. Yeah, that's smooth as they come in terms of a metaphor. Very funny episode. And yes, we did get that pairing off the back of the 10-year anniversary episode, given that the response off the back of their pairing was enormous,

and we thought, let's... The stars aligned. Yeah, let's get the magic. Freaker was down here to visit her brother. Let's catch that lightning in a bottle again. Exactly. And it actually happened. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Fun times. We're going to be in Perth, January the 24th, for a big live show at the Rosemount Hotel. We're doing a big live podcast, big live stand-up show. It is very, very nearly sold out already. It's three quarters full after like a week and a half or something. So yeah, Perth, you are absolutely on it. Good for you. We're in a different venue, like Tommy said, the Rosemount Hotel. So it's bigger than the biggest one we've played yet in Perth.

We've grown a little bit. Very much looking forward to going there. All we've heard is that it's got good food, good drink, good courtyard, good end of town. And it's about to have bad comedy. We're going to even it out. You can't have too much yin and not enough yang. So that's what we're going to do. Yeah, so, man, I'm so looking forward to it and like like we talked about last week um don't forget to uh hit up um

what was it something p mosquito oh errol p mosquito find out where errol p mosquito is staying for the week uh i'm gonna be there three nights a little the little scavenger hunt yeah yeah this show's now just turned into a school camp. Yeah. Yeah. Very much looking forward to it. Friday, Saturday, Sunday night in Perth. Three nights in Perth.

Three nights in Perth. So, yeah, get started. Usually. If you want to start, like, late, we did mention this last week, you're getting in pretty late Friday, so you might be better getting up early Saturday and trying from then. Might be better getting up early Saturday and trying from then. But hey, if you're particularly keen, you could maybe start from like, you know, late Friday, maybe from like 10 p.m. Friday. If you just wanted to do a ring around and see if you can suss it out.

If you wanted to get ahead of the curve. Yeah, look, I'm not sure yet because it's looking like a good hotel and one that I don't mind staying and hanging out at. Right. And having a few drinks because, you know, while we're there, we'll probably catch up with some people. We know we're going to have some friends in Perth at the same time. So it's going to be usually a thing that we will do is get over there a bit early and do some gigs and whatever beforehand at some clubs and then do the podcast.

But I'm not doing that at all. I'm just going to go over there and enjoy myself, enjoy being out of a state. Because originally I was pitching to my wife that we go over there and just hang out for a few days or a week or whatever it is. And she went, I don't like Perth. I'm not coming. Damn. So good news, Queensland.

She is more of a fan of you guys. Does not like the west part of Australia. Not a fan. Yeah, I would say, I would say, it depends what area of Queensland you're talking about, but I'd say I probably prefer Perth. Oh, well, well, well.

Look who's come crawling back. You were a big anti-Perth-er for a while back. That hasn't been the case for maybe four or five years now, but yeah. You're saying I'm stuck in the past. Yeah, for the pure, mainly for the fact, and this is why it's strange, I just think your wife hasn't spent enough time there. I do too. Because she's a big beach goer.

Yes. And if you want, you get into the city and if you want proximity to good beaches, in terms of an Australian city, major city, you can't beat Perth. That's what's nice about it. I agree. Good, consistent climate, nicer comm, nice restaurants. You hop in the car and within fucking 15 minutes or so, I don't know, someone's probably

screaming at the iPod right now. Someone listening to this on the iPod. Very old-fashioned style, downloading the episode, plugging the cord in and transferring it onto the iPod to listen to this. I thought you were going to say because it's Perth. You know, you have a nice beach, you get in the car, and within 15 minutes someone's driving up alongside you

and screaming at you through the window going, go home, cunt, you dirty, diseased Victorian. Oh, right. Yeah, but even that, like screaming at a stranger, to me that's more Queensland than Perth. Sure. I mean, maybe like outer Western Australia, like outside of the city, you might get more of that.

But like I imagine centre of Brisbane CBD, you're just getting abused. There's no like inner city, like cultural, like, hey, let's keep it a bit classy. We might be in the eye of the hurricane of Perth behaviour because we are there for basically Australia Day weekend. That's very true. Which I hear is almost like a national holiday for those guys over there. Yeah, and I mean, it is dodgy because it's like the date that we're doing this. It does sort of look like we're celebrating it a little bit.

Well, no, not really. Hey, guys, they've fucking moved the hottest 100, but here we come to pick up the slack. It's like, let's make it very clear. This is just coincidental date timing. It's got nothing to do with us wanting to link up with the holiday in any way, shape, or form. We are very pro-white colonialism,

but we didn't understand that that was the date we were going to be. It's just a coincidence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a coincidence that it lines up with our beliefs and our things that we hold very, very dear. A happy coincidence. A happy coincidence, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a coincidence that it lines up with our beliefs and our things that we hold very, very dear. A happy coincidence.

A happy coincidence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. And we will be getting Southern Cross tattoos live on stage. Yes. So, yeah.

And again, coincidence. I will be nude. I just like astrology. Yeah. I didn't realise it was the Southern Cross. Yeah. I just, you know,

when you get a star on your work as a kid, like, that's a good thing. So I thought, you know what? My shoulder's done some good work this year. Yeah.

I want to get a few stars on that. I will be nude draped in the Australian flag as a cape. But again, coincidence. I forgot to pack any other clothes. And I just found one of them. I pulled one of them off the flagpole out the front of the hotel because I needed to shield myself. I didn't want to be nude out in the street.

You forget in a month and a half's time. Yes. I forgot. In a month's time. I will have forgotten. Yes. I'm planning to forget. Right, right.

Failing to plan, planning to fail. So, yeah, I think Perth goes hot at that time of year. So, that's going to be interesting to see. I found it just interesting that, to be honest, the pub did offer us that date and went, you can have that date all day. And, like, said to us, yeah, that's like Australia Day weekend. So, that's going to be really good for you. honest the pub did offer us that date and went you can have that date all day and and and like said to us yeah that's like australia weekend so that's going to be really good for you and i'm like wow i thought you'd want that yourself for some fucking crazy you yearly fucking mud crab

race or whatever the fuck they do to celebrate that day your annual glassing competition or whatever exactly yeah people come in from the suburbs and try and stab each other in the neck um but anyway celebrate this great country we're having an all-day marathon. We're playing the hit show Little Elvis Jones and the Truck Stoners on the big screen. All seasons back to back. Wow, what an odd choice. What a niche reference. What an odd choice.

Made by your mates at Visca Productions. Made by my mates at Mickey Duck Animation, where I did work experience, covered in, coloured in one cell of a Freddo Frog commercial back in the day. Oh, nice. When I was in grade seven or so.

I did work experience in an animation company for one week and got there and didn't realise it was mostly animation, thought it was graphic design. And so they go,

do you know any animation? And I said, no. And so I sat in a room and basically did busy work. Right. Pictures of you fucking Minnie Mouse. Just bring it into the box. What about this? They're like, well, it's quite good, but it's not moving.

It's a static drawing. That's not what we're here to do. They're like, yeah, sure. If that makes you happy, sure. We just want you out of the way for the next four and a half days. So yeah, good work, Carl. Go and see if you can

fuck Shaggy next. Do 24 more of them and make it go in and out and then, you know, then you'll have a job. You'll have a car. You do that. I mean,

you're not professional enough to make the dick come at the end of it. We'll draw that. But if you just want to do the in and out, that's a nice thing. We send that off to Korea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That gets done in one of the factories where there's just like hundreds of people doing all the fill-in stuff. And then it comes back and it comes yellow. It's like, ah, there's always a bit of, you know, mixing translation happening there. So, yeah, they thought that was something else. Yeah. So, anyway, Perth. Exciting, exciting. Looking forward to...

I've even looked up the venue to see what the menu is. Wow, you've even done that? Yeah, even. Well, not a lot of people would do that. Late night in the lab. Not a lot of people would do that. I think a lot of people that listen to this podcast would do that. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, maybe I'm talking to the wrong people. You're preaching to the choir. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair enough. They've bookmarked it. this podcast would do that. Yeah, okay. Yeah, maybe I'm talking to the wrong people. You're preaching to the choir. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair enough. Yeah. They've bookmarked it. That's their homepage now. Yeah, exactly.

That's not an example of going above and beyond. You know, people looked at the menu before they even booked a ticket. They're like, ah, this is going to be worth going to. Ooh, schnitzel with chopped slaw. Thank you. Oh, a chicken parma. Oh, okay. I'll try anything once.

It is like that when someone suggests like, hey, let's go to this pub for dinner and you're like, yeah, better do some recon and check the menu and then you're looking at it going, yeah, what did I expect? Parma, beef burger. Maybe if you're lucky, some form of like weird pie

might be about as strange as it gets. You know what? I'm looking it up now. Yeah, I'm going to look it up too. I'm going to plan now what I have for lunch. Should we order now? Can we order a month in advance? Is that possible?

Rosemount Hotel. That would be good. Rosemounthotel.com.au. You can even order. That would be funny. Just call them up. Yeah, can I order some lunch now? Yeah.

And they're like, oh, yeah, sure. Just come and pick that up in 15 minutes. And you're like, oh, no, no. It's for in four weeks' time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's eat. It's eat in. Yeah, don't. I mean, yeah, don't pour weeks' time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's eat. It's eat in. Yeah, don't, I mean, yeah, don't pour the beer in.

Oh, well, I'm going to have a Guinness, so maybe pour it now. Yeah. I like this website. There's a little animated… Oh, yeah, it's right up here. Like what you would have done back in the day. Or like what you would have done right now. What about, I find this is always an odd uh kind of bit of web

hosting thing i find i've clicked on their food menu and rather than it being like built into the site it's just taking me to a file on google drive yep get that hosted locally that's a bit strange food bites what do we have cheese and bacon arancini that sounds good don't mind a bit arancini yeah um yeah cheese and bacon yeah. Yeah, it's that nice little pub fusion sort of deal. Yeah, I love fusion. They get the traditional and then they goose it up a little bit. I quite like that. Cheese and bacon arancini.

So that's new. Yeah. Bayo buns, they sound good. Yeah. And what else have we got? The cheeseburger sounds good. Chicken parmi, classic. Hard to go past.

I'll probably end up getting that. Although, if I've really been on one, I'll probably be feeling a bit guilty and maybe I'll gravitate towards the smoked chicken salad. Oh, okay. And then pizza. I've got to be honest. I tend to ignore any pub that has a substantial pizza menu. I kind of tend to ignore it.

I always think it's not the best place to get a pizza. Okay, yeah. Look, I'm happy to have a look around. Poke my nose in people's plates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good point. Oh, I like the sound of this. Okay, yeah. Look, I'm happy to have a look around. Poke my nose in people's plates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good point. Oh, I like the sound of this, the chicken burger. Coconut and chilli fried chicken.

Oh. Shredded cos lettuce, hot sauce, kewpie mayo and fries. Coconut and chilli fried chicken sounds good. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Mixing it up a bit. Getting some different shit in there. Yeah, yeah.

I am into that. Look, you know what I'm a big one for? Barbecue chicken pizza. Mm-hmm. Big one for that. Yeah. Spanish onion. Yes, please.

Yeah. God. Yeah. Yeah, that's... Look, Milan, who might be coming along, friend of the show, he did say, great place. Maybe we can go there more than once, you know? Oh, okay. Maybe we can, or, you know what, maybe we get there early for lunch, and then we're

there for long enough, we have dinner there. So maybe it's two meals. Oh, yeah, I don't mind that. Parmy for, yeah, Parmy for lunch, pizza for dinner. Yeah. Thank you very much. Bit of sharing plates, maybe we can all have a crack. And the beers, the drinks are not that expensive.

They're reasonably priced, I think. So, it's, I don't know why we're doing such a substantial add to the rosemary. Oh, drinks menu.

Here we go. Yeah. Back into Google Drive. That's it. Who could have guessed? Yeah. On tap, what have they got?

Oh, yes. More art stuff there. All right. That's enough of that. We've got a big day of recording. I don't know why we're fucking wasting time in this first thing we're doing of about five things today, just reading the menu. Yep.

I mean, it's no waste for me. I'm enjoying it. The dessert menu looks all right, too. Anyway, Roseman Hotel, you can order your ticket from there as well. So that's... Check the menu. Yeah. And this is the Little Dum Dum Club guarantee.

When you click the link to buy a this is the Little Dum Dum Club guarantee. When you click the link to buy a ticket for the Little Dum Dum Club, it will not take you to Google Drive. It will take you to a separate website.

Sure. Once again, that's not hosted locally. They're really not getting much bang for their buck out of their hosting plan for

rosemoundhotel.com, are they? They're doing no local hosting. They're just farming everything out to Google Drive. Yeah, yeah. Let us know if you've eaten a meal at the Rosemount Hotel and give us some tips.

I'm a bit torn between... Let us know... What I would like to know specifically is what is the Parma like? Yeah. Because I want to have my mind blown. Melbourne would do Parmas really well. If I'm going to get a Parma interstate, I really want it to have my mind blown. Melbourne would do Palmas really well. If I'm going to get a Palmer interstate, I really want it to knock my socks off.

Otherwise, I'm going for this chicken burger. Well, that's your base, isn't it? Like, okay, get your Palmer unless you hear the Palmer is not amazing. It's pretty bog standard. And there's something else that rises above. But you're right. You get there at a time when a lot of people are eating. You walk through the beer garden.

You're having a little sticky beak on the way through. Often that can, you know, you walk in somewhere, you're like, really feeling like a pizza. I am not above.

You take a stroll and you're like, I'm absolutely not above pointing at someone's meal to a waiter and saying, what's that? I'll have one. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah, unless you've got some hot tips before that and you let us know, that's what I'll be doing. Just interrupting someone's meal, sticking my grubby finger into someone's unspecified dinner and going, me wanty. Yep. Yep.

That's Perth. January 24th, that's a Sunday, Sunday afternoon gig. You might have the day off the next day. Who knows? Because of Australia Day weekend. But that's a Sunday afternoon gig. You might have the day off the next day. Who knows? Because of Australia Day weekend. But that's going to be fucking huge. In a band venue, it's going to be rock and roll. And there will be seats.

There will be seats, yes. Well, there is the option. There is the option if you guys want it. There's 20 seats up the back. 20 standing spots up the back. Half of them are gone already. Yeah. If you're one of those people that just wants to stand up the back

and lean on a table and have a beer and not have to be jammed next to some, in between two people you don't know. Yeah. So get on to that. Those tickets are going very quickly. Half those spots of floor have already been taken. Yes.

Yes. Yes. What else? Hey, let's get into this. Can we do the – we've had mail. Oh, okay. Shall we do the segment right now? Shall we do the jingle?

Yep. Here we go. Watch it. And we're – right. It's sad, it's sad, it's sad, it's sad And let's just let that be Yeah And we're, uh, right So, look, here we go Um, I think, I don't know what we got this week But here's the thing I remembered to bring in

Um, we got some mail, uh, from a listener of the show Fuck knows who it is Because they didn't leave their name. Okay. But we got a message. Hey, boys. A little something to say cheers for all the content. Tommy, your weight loss has been pretty impressive.

Weird that you look like a cancer patient again, though. Anyway, here is a reminder of the meaty meatball days. Starting to realize why they didn't put their name on this. Yes. Oh, fuck. I forgot to bring this. Yeah, I fucked up. Oh, my God. But, no, I brought some of it, but not some of it.

So, it's just... The one guy who makes Australia Post look competent. Yeah, yeah. They sent... They got playing cards made. Okay. With you, with a picture of you on the back of every card. Sounds fantastic.

Yes. Wish I could see it. Yes. Well, you can see it because you've seen the picture of you before. It's the picture that you did for Dreamboat, your solo show Dreamboat. Yeah, right, right. Where you got your top off and you've got your finger cutie pie style in your mouth. Yeah, I'm wearing a little captain's hat, little sailor's hat.

Yep. So that's on the back of every playing card. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, so you've got that now. Yeah, that's me. So there's that. Look, I'm saying this, sight unseen. That sounds to me like the best thing we've been sent.

Someone getting something stupid like that made up is great. Now, look, given that people just send us a fucking lollipop that they couldn't be bothered putting in the bin, generally, that's not really saying all that much. But I think this is the new benchmark for good gift to be sent. Speaking of that, we did get a lollipop. Oh, you remember these?

We did get a lollipop. No, no, but I took the cards out because I was just remarking. You and your wife were playing strip poker? Yes, exactly. Exactly. Your picture got us so horny, we both went, let's be like the card man. Here comes number two.

You got a six, I got a nine. Well, that gives me an idea. So we did get a lollipop stuck in there as well. Now I'm mixing up these parcels. Did we get this all in one thing? Yeah, so then, yeah, so you got a little bit of drag. You got dragged in that little remark there, but you got something positive.

And then he's gone, Carl, remember when Anfield's golden boy literally fell over in the greatest club of all time won? That was cool. Referring to when Steve and Gerard slipped over about seven years ago and we thought we were going to win the championship in the third last match and we lost thanks to that happening. So he just thought he'd bring that up.

So very nice of him. Anyway, thanks again, boys. So in this guy's head, that is as bad as having had cancer. Well, yeah, it took me a long time to get over. Don't say it. I did have to stay in the hospital for a little while. Okay, right, right. All your hair fell out.

Couldn't keep solids down. That's it. We also got this in the mail. Now, this is for you. Look at this. Big set of drumsticks. Big drummies. Yeah.

Give us a look. What's on them? Nova drumsticks, whatever that means. I can't say I'm familiar, but thank you. Now, does that work? Because you've got an electronic drum set. Yeah. So can you use normal drumsticks on that?

Okay. You think you need electric sticks? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. No, you just use the same ones. Well, I certainly know that they are able to be used on every other surface of the house because Blanket has been giving them an absolute workout. Oh, really?

Yeah. Okay. I might have competition in the Dum Dum House band. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was doing a little bit of trying to lay out a little bit of a beat to show her how to do it and she was right into it. Yeah. Right into it.

I need to get back into it. I haven't drummed for a little bit because I mentioned this on the pod, but early lockdown, I was doing a little drumming. And, you know, they're electronic drums, so I just have headphones on. And my neighbor could, my upstairs neighbor could hear the, like, I don't know, the vibration of me hitting the kick drum or whatever. And she came down and told me to stop doing it. So it's kind of scared me off doing it for a while

because previously I'd been able to do it and never have any problems with the neighbours. But with everyone in lockdown and working from home, I kind of went, I don't know if I can do this. So I think I need to start testing the waters again. Maybe like 5 a.m. Sunday, just let rip. What's better to do them inside this um apartment here or to do them out in your little courtyard thing on my balcony yeah

uh that's a good question it would be a real pain in the ass to drag them outside and then have to drag them back in but yeah i gotta i gotta start uh yeah i gotta start up again i gotta get back to practicing that thin lizzy song five times in a row. Get my stamina up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you have a bit of communication with her? Can you leave a note in the letterbox and go, look, I wouldn't mind doing a bit of drumming.

Can you sign off on a time and a day when I'm allowed to do it? Well, I think I still haven't been able to work out because I was kind of playing them in a slightly different way that time that she heard me. So I think I need to do a control test and just go, hey, look, let's clear the air. I don't want to piss you off. I'm just going to go back downstairs and fucking go for it for 10 minutes

and you tell me if you can hear that and if that's annoying. If you were to hear that middle of the afternoon, I only ever do it like, you know, say four in the afternoon for like half an hour, would that be annoying? That's what what i need to do i need to do a control test with it yeah yeah yeah that's a good idea so um on top of the drumsticks you got what i like is that you know it seems like a one for you one for me sort of deal it's like oh well we'll get carl something um so you'll hear all the rustling there in the mic probably right now. Opening up bubble wrap? Yes, opening up bubble wrap. I love a bit of bubble wrap.

And I've got this one. I've got the old... Is it the right way around? Doesn't even fucking work. It's a kazoo? It's a kazoo. Yeah, how do you use it? How do you make a kazoo? It's a kazoo. Yeah, how do you use it? How do you make a kazoo work?

Is this... Oh, well. I'm too dumb to know how to use a kazoo. Or this kazoo doesn't work. Let me... I'll Google it. How do you use a kazoo? How do you use a kazoo?

All of a sudden, looking up the Roseman Hotel food menu is not so dumb. If this goes to a... Simply blowing into a kazoo will make no sound. Instead, kazoo players actually hum into the kazoo to make music. Oh, that's it. When you play a kazoo, you can make different sounds by humming different syllables. You can also make louder sounds by increasing airflow as you hum. Yeah, there you go.

That works. So, hey, the Rosemount Hotel, we're in a band room. Fuck, I wonder if we could actually put a band... If we can find somewhere to rent a drum kit. Right. And then you on kazoo, me on drums. And then... Who do we know in Perth that plays music?

If we could just thrash out... You know someone in Perth that dances to music. We sure do. Yeah. And we may have the lead singer of Fat Lizzy with us. Oh. So if we just get the Fat Lizzy band back together, it's me on drums, a guitarist, and then a kazoo player.

Right, yeah. Try a bit of The Boys Are Back In Town right now. Traditionally, I don't think you're supposed to sing the song. Yeah, it sounds like Daft Punk having a stroke. Yeah, yeah. Daft cunt. Yeah. Thanks to whoever sent that in that you didn't leave your name.

Love it. Yep. Thanks. Yeah, genuinely, that's a great package. Yeah, yeah, that's good. It'll be even better when you have half of it here um okay so that's that's quite let's close up the cbs mailbag for uh this week and uh let's get on to something even more generous instead of people giving us stuff us giving giving love out yep it's time for the unplanned title i'll know to be turned on because we want to thank everyone that contributes to

patreon.com slash little dum-dum club that is a sponsor of the show essentially that keeps the lights on in dum-dum HQ especially this time of year with Christmas upon us

you're giving us presents you know this is you contributing towards me buying a present to little blanket yeah went shopping with blanket

the other day don't want to say what I got her on here in case anyone sees her down the street and leaks. Yep. Leaks that information. Spoils Christmas for everyone. But, yeah, done a little bit of shopping.

Looking forward to that. The first Christmas to Little Blanket where she actually knows what the fuck is going on. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And, of course, yeah, people, you're right, people who've chipped into this are contributing to our funds for Christmas presents, including me going to buy tickets to a comedy show for my parents, thinking that would be a nice gift.

Going on and finding that because of COVID safe regulations and everything, it's a minimum of four tickets that you buy in one sitting. At least those tickets are cheap, though. Just going, oh, well, I guess that's just me and my girlfriend taking my pet, you know, not the worst thing in the world. Yeah. And,

you know, by the time I went on to do it, I was like, I absolutely cannot be fucked thinking of something else. Yeah. So I guess this is just it. So hey,

thank you. Thank you to, thank you to everyone who subscribes. Cheap tickets. That financially, yeah, how much was it? All up. I can't remember. Notap tickets. It makes that financially... Yeah, how much was it? All up.

I can't remember. Not super cheap. Yeah, I wouldn't have thought so either. Wouldn't have thought so, Ed. Yep. Yep. Well, that's good. Yeah, I've got to go and do a bit more, actually.

I've got to do a bit more. But buying for a little baby is fun. Man, I've got to buy... Yeah, fuck. I've still got to buy stuff, and we're doing stuff all day today, then I'm recording stuff all day tomorrow, so you know what that means.

Me hitting the shopping centres Christmas Eve. Chadson. Should be awesome. Late night shopping. I might have to, actually. I might do a bit of late night chatty. I was meant to be hitting the Genius Bar later today, but I don't think I can do that now.

If you do it tomorrow night, I might be a chance of doing it. Not the next night, but yeah, tomorrow night. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see how many beers I have tomorrow instead,

actually. Yeah. But thank you to everyone who subscribes. All you have to do is go to patreon.com slash little dum-dum club and you get lots and lots of bonus stuff. Especially, crucially,

great timing for that sort of stuff because we all know what happens over the holidays everyone gets a little bit bored in my experience i reckon people get bored boxing day morning yeah right easily by then if not before people are fucking that's why traditionally like the movies are such a popular um thing to do on boxing day people are fucked it takes one day for people to get bored out of their fucking mind. Yeah. Shops are closed for one day. It's like,

let's fucking do something. So, if you're stuck at home, if you're stuck with the family, whatever, you know what? You subscribe.

You get a lot of bonus content. That week is, that's my favorite week of the year. Wow. Between Christmas and New Year's Eve, love it.

Right. Everything's a bit more chill. People are around. You know, it's easy to catch up with people. What about all the restaurants? Less stuff love it. Everything's a bit more chill. People are around. It's easy to catch up with people. What about all the restaurants? Less stuff is open. That's annoying. Yeah, the cafes and restaurants are just going,

you go, I get it. You want to have Christmas off. And then you read the sign on the door and it goes, back January 29. What? Yeah, those places that close from like December 3. Yeah. Oh, well, lucky I'm not hungry in summer.

Fucking hell. Yeah, that is a bit annoying. I mean, you can often, if you look around, you can find a couple of holdouts that are just like going all the way through. But yeah, easy to catch up with people. Nice vibe in the air. No pressure to do anything.

Not much traffic. It's fucking great. I am surprised, though, that especially here in Melbourne, the number of like you know all the like bars and restaurants and cafes are still closing down over that week yeah i really thought because they've spent most of the year closed up that places would just go fuck it we want to stay open and make money it's like i know yeah look i know you're entitled to a holiday and whatever but yeah you would think there'd be a lot of businesses just going like, fuck it, let's just go all the

way through and stuff, just being like, yeah, we're at home doing nothing. Bolling Ellie's going, let's do a Christmas day. Yeah, exactly. Let's stay open. But no, there's not. But you know what? To be honest, as Don't Say No was saying to me yesterday, like her favorite cafe is closed already early for the year.

And I was like, what? You think exactly your argument there. And she's like's like no they've been killing it you know yeah businesses in lockdown that have been fucking killing yeah a couple of cafes near my house that just lines and lines down the street people desperate for coffee uh in the last eight months so um yeah i guess i guess that's their reasoning but anyway anyway, thank you to everyone who does that already. And we've been getting a bunch of new ones lately. So get in. New subscribers.

You get to be in our little Millionaires Club on Facebook. Absolutely welcome aboard. That would be great. Jump in. And not too far down the track, you could be one of these people getting your names read out. So first cap off the bank, off the rank today. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber, Brendan Myers.

Another fucking Brendan. It is a bit. Yeah, but look, you got something new to play with, Myers. Myers. That's something. That's the standout for me. So, they didn't do in Melbourne the Meyer Christmas windows this year. They didn't?

I believe they did not. That's funny that they've gone. We can't do it this year because, well, actually it's perfect for it. It's a fucking bit of entertainment with a big plate of glass in between. Just walk past whenever. Yeah. You would think it's like the only thing that shouldn't be. Purpose designed.

How are we doing live podcasts to 80 people in a room and they're not allowed to have a fucking animatronic mouse behind a sheet of glass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I sort of understand it in the sense that like it's encouraging people to gather in a crowd around that window, but like you could still monitor. I don't know.

It seems weird. They could have just started it a bit earlier and kept it going a bit longer. Like, like, um, like many people gave us advice nine months ago well you know you could do it online why don't you stream it stream it online genuinely why aren't they that's what i mean that's what i mean you could actually do that yeah yeah it's like okay you you know in my you know in melbourne that that's a tradition in melbourne you have this big christmas themed sort of like little fucking what do you call it little display it gets a diorama where it goes over the space of about three windows.

Maybe tells a little story where there's like, you know, a little, yeah, a little rat fucking moving back and forth and all that sort of stuff. Yep. Yep. It's some sort of Christmas little story with animals or something like that. Yeah. You can, it's your tradition in Melbourne to go and, you know, bring your family along and have a bit of a look at it with the kids and whatever.

You could actually, it's purpose built for being online, you know, bring your family along and have a bit of a look at it with the kids and whatever. You could actually, it's purpose-built for being online. You know, just put that on the main page of Maya and then click through and buy. Click on Maya, open a Google Drive link to an MP4 of the Christmas windows. Buy a chicken burger that you can send to your family for Christmas. Yeah, I wonder if, because, you know, there's like people that are obsessed with just like documenting everything. So, for example, you can find quite easily like bootleg footage of most roller coasters on YouTube. There used to be, I don't know if it still exists, but the Bermuda Triangle ride at SeaWorld in Queensland.

And I found like, I was talking about it with someone and then I looked it up and there's footage of someone who's just like, and this is like 10, 15 years ago. So he's taken like a full fucking Handycam on the ride with him and just bootlegged it, just bootlegged the roller coaster. I wonder if there's like some guy who's like obsessed, like that's his thing on his channel. He's like, I go in and I bootleg the My Christmas Rebirths every year. It's like there must be an account, there must be a YouTube account that's just got them all back

because that would be fascinating to see back what they were doing with like the tech and everything in 1992. I love that that's, you know, with movies, when people do that movies, people go, oh, I don't want to fucking pay for anything.

You know, great. I'll just get the pirate movie. Great. Yeah, yeah. Oh, those people, I don't want to go to Burke Street. This is the perfect hack for that. This saves me money. I don't have to pay $ Bourke Street. This is the perfect hack for that. This saves me money.

I don't have to pay $4 on the tram. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to get on the 75 to go into Bourke Street and see this free display. Did you see, you would have seen this, created a bit of noise a couple of weeks ago about how I think Warner Brothers said that next year all their movies are just going to launch on streaming

the same date as in the cinema. Because they're like, we don't know what the state of cinemas is going to be next year and uh you know it's controversial like a lot of people like that's going to destroy cinemas and whatnot but then you know for plenty of other people it's like that's great you know if you've got kids it's harder to get to the cinema yep etc etc but like for a lot of people for anyone that's like into like pirating movies or go to thailand you know the bali that was always the thing you know you come back with a dvd of this thing like while it's in cinemas yeah i wonder if there's anyone that's into pirating movies or go to Thailand or Bali, that was always a thing. You come back with a DVD of this thing while it's in cinemas. I wonder if there's anyone who's thrilled by the decision

to put it on streaming because it reminds them of those days of being able to watch it at home while it was in the cinemas and feel a bit naughty. But what they're really missing is it's just not the same seeing it in high res. It would be great if Disney and Warner Brothers, they bring it out day and date on the streaming services and you get to choose hd yeah or fucked version where every three minutes you see someone's head pop up in front of the screen yeah that would be fucking awesome if they brought out the bali bootleg on the same day

if you pay for the bali option which is like you get the HD for, you know, whatever it is, $20 a week. Yeah. Or the barley version for $4. Yeah, yeah. And then you get some of them are high def and whatever, but then you get some of them like that with people just walking past it. And then you get some that just are scratched and don't work. Right. So the barley one is the lucky dip.

Yeah. So there should be like an, there's an ultra like 4K version. Yeah. And the only way to get that is the Bali Lucky Dip. Yeah. You can get standard death for 10 bucks and that's guaranteed.

Or you can risk it all on the Bali copy. Exactly. I fucking love that. That's good. Or it's like, yeah, this is the Matrix 4. And, you know, so you pay for the Bali version, you pay your four bucks and you load it up and it's just Harry Potter instead. Yes, yes, The Matrix 4. And, you know, so you pay for the Barley version, you pay your four bucks and you load it up and it's just Harry Potter instead.

Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Episode one of The Wire. What the fuck's this? Yeah, yeah. And also you can get a box set and you see the screen and it's like, oh, cool, I'll choose this. Oh, no, that's just painted on.

You don't get to choose anything. Exactly. They've just pirated the options that you can't do anything. There's no interactivity. Yeah, yeah that would be that's good that's great that would be really fucking good especially now that we can't travel you know that's our little way of traveling yep that's a little way of getting back to to bali um absolutely yeah there's a great uh account that i found on uh twitter the other day that's been doing kind of Bali-style bootleg covers of movies, of current movies.

Oh, nice. Yeah, and he's just done... And as a graphic designer, what a fucking great brief. Great. It's like, take some screen grabs from the movie, get a shit font that doesn't really thematically line up with what the movie's about put some text in

that that sort of like there's there's one guy that is only making them for uncut gems he's just made about

two dozen different Bali bootleg covers for uncut gems and he's like one of them he's put on the top Adam Sandler businessman and gambler

yeah yeah yeah just shit like that it's fucking awesome they're big ones for like, you know, finding any form of action from the movie and putting that on the cover to make it look like an action movie. It's like, they're not all action movies, mate.

Yeah. There's no good putting action on the front cover of The Color Purple. Exactly. That's not what happened. I love a bit of a screen grab from the wrong movie that just happens to have the same actor in it. Oh, yes.

That's always a good one. I do like that too. Yeah, a good that's genuinely a great exhibition someone just collecting all the great um bootleg dvd covers they've got that would be such a good art show just a all of them on a wall i never understood why they just like considering that they're selling everything for like nothing over there like there'd be dvd shops over there and you know it is that that the first time i went over there there was like over to kosumi there was like three or four shops down the main street that were just completely that completely that yeah and but not very rare did any of them have their

original cover but for us for a product where they're selling it for like $2 or whatever it is, why are they going to all the trouble of completely redesigning the covers? It's bizarre. Yeah, when they're so readily available. It's like someone has gone on to Google Images or whatever and found like eight different screen grabs from the movie. Just chuck the poster on there. Just print the poster out on a bubble jet and put that in the sleeve.

It's very odd. I did like that they all had the same sort of that weird style yeah it was like okay there needs to be six to seven heads yeah yeah you need everyone that was in the movie needs to get a bit of you know a bit of action on the cover this would be this would be like a great like vice documentary going it going over there and like track who's the who's the graphic designer that's churning all of these out yeah and just like seeing the workstation and the process like how does this get done i love the idea that's the it's the same setup as like the nike factory as well it's like all these three-year-olds with photoshop yeah yeah yeah that's great

all right well thanks brendan thanks brendan thanks brendan my windows All right, well, thanks, Brendan. Thanks, Brendan. Thanks, Brendan Meyer-Windows. Thanks, Brendan Meyer-Windows. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Luanne Schultz. Okay. Yeah. Okay. That's new. I don't think we've had either of those names ever.

Yeah, we've never had a Luanne, nor have we had anyone from the, I don't know if the spelling is the same, but a member of the Peanuts dynasty. No, this has got a T in shorts. I don't think Charles had the T in there. Sans T. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, no, this is, this may not, Luan may not be, you know, the heir to the Linus dynasty. Right, right. May not be getting any of those peppermint patty bucks.

She's not using... This Patreon subscription hasn't been funded by the Pigpen Trust Fund. No, she hasn't. The money we're getting, she hasn't held it up to us and then we've gone to grab it and then she's pulled it away and we've fallen over. Yeah, we're not walking up to a little booth that says, psychiatric advice, kill yourself.

Or we're not asking, we're not the teachers in her school. We're saying, you dumb cunts are go. Now, that's a good impression of the teachers in the penis covers. That is a really good impression. Yeah. Charlie Brown. Good to see you, Charlie Brown.

You're a dumb cunt. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. That's something. Fuck, I want to get another one out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I swear to God,

I... Oh, fuck. Yeah. I think what is shocking a lot of listeners right now is just exactly how much we can recall of Peanuts off the top of our heads. Oh, no, I was a big fan of Peanuts.

Peanuts is a very weird cartoon strip where it was very, what's the word, it's not like Garfield. It's like Garfield's set him up, knock her down. Whereas I think Peanuts is more of a... Set him up, make him depressed. Yeah, it was very, not somber's the wrong word, but very... What would be the right word for that? Yeah, like it's still funny, but like in kind of a weird downbeat kind of way.

Yes. Like they're not really gags at the end. If Peanuts... There was gag. There was funniness in it. But if Peanuts was like a band... Yeah. That would be...

Shoegaze. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a bit more of the Smiths. Guided by voices. It's a bit more the Smiths than Garfield's a bit, you know, Bon Jovi or something. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's very true.

Yeah, so. Peanuts is great. It is good. There was a big bunch of books of them in the Maryborough Library as a child, and I absolutely devoured them. The publishing company Fantagraphics has the rights to it and they're i think they've been doing this for close to 10 years now they're doing the complete they're putting them all out oh wow and it's taken them forever yeah i think they're up to like the 70s

or something like that it was amazing the way he it all ended because he it was like he drew the last cartoon it went out and like the next day he died oh really yeah wow and it wasn't like it's over because he died it was like here's the last one and then the next day they went to go

hey congrats on ending it oh no you're dead and then that was it wow done that's pretty when Peanuts ran out

he ran out that's pretty beautiful and he you know the fact that he kept doing it right up until the end when again Garfield something like Garfield is a perfect comparison where I think the

oversaturation of Garfield merchandise kind of affected people's view of the kind of artistry of the strip, whereas Peanuts has the same level of, like, merchandising and everything, but it's kind of somehow managed to still, I think, remain pretty pure in people's – you know, Garfield's a bit of like a – imagine liking Garfield, whereas people still have a lot of affection for Peanuts. Yeah, look, there's a lot more emotion and there's goodwill towards Peanuts because they were sort of like real people, whereas Garfield,

I don't have a problem with. People – there's a bit of a backlash against Garfield where they're like, oh, fuck Garfield. It's fine. It's just a gag a day. Yeah. It's a gag a day. Yeah. It's a gag a day. It's also,

it's in a different position too where it's now done by like, it's farmed off to like a committee or whatever. Yes. Big Davo, he's kicking back, you know,

doing, he's not, he's, you know, he's like Matt Groening. He's not involved anymore. Yeah. Jim Davis is walking through

peeping over a few people's shoulders and going, is he, is he still eating lasagna these days? And they're like, yeah, it's all good. He's like, okay, is he still eating lasagna these days? And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all good. He's like, okay, cool, cool, cool. I'm off to the golf course.

That's great. The rogue Garfield employee who's like, you know what? I'm going to start a thread in here where he loves Mondays now. Like the people who wrote that episode of, the guy who went on to create Futurama, wrote the episode of The Simpsons where Lisa becomes a vegetarian. And it's like, that's huge. Like going in there and being like, you know what? I'm going to change the episode of The Simpsons where Lisa becomes a vegetarian. And it's like, that's huge. Like going in there and being like, you know what?

I'm going to change the course of this show. I'm going to change one of these characters in a format of show that traditionally stays absolutely the same for decades and decades. Jim Davis. Jim Davis goes to Southeast Asia for like three months, comes back. It's like, what's this where he's,'s you know where the go-to is i love papa dell pasta it's like what why the fuck did we have to change yeah yeah yeah well it's not we've done lasagna for fucking 30 years yeah i just thought it'd be nice to find a different

form of pasta no yeah yeah exactly the employees like yeah exactly we've done it for 30 years jim baby you gotta keep it fresh give us something we've got three panels to play with every day. Okay. We're sort of gearing into him having a mild dislike for Wednesdays. We want to transition into that. Garfield's a raccoon now. Speaking of transitioning, Garfield's trans and he's a raccoon. We've tried a different form of pasta. There's a slight inkling that he's not that up against Mondays

and the middle of the week. You know, that's the thing he's a little bit sadder about. Nothing's been said explicitly. Okay, yeah, that's fine. But what's this thing where it's, you know, just a given that John sucks off Garfield every day? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, okay.

We did go pretty hard with that. Whereas you compare that to the great Charlie Schultz. It must have been a great point of pride as he was inking that final line. And, you know, in his head it's like, look, they could say that the quality of my art has deteriorated over the years. I've gotten older and my hands have gotten shakier. But you can't accuse, you know, I've always stayed true to my vision of the comic strip being about an eight-year-old boy that wants to kill himself. Say whatever else you will about my work over the years. Gives a bit of respect for not actually drawing a noose around his neck

at any point and just alluding to it. So, yeah, it's – and as you – you know, if that didn't get you sad, the deterioration of the artwork where it's very clear that he's got some form of Parkinson's or something. If the content doesn't make you sad, then the style does. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. But yeah, he was a little bit shaky there.

Someone like a... We should move on to the next name, but this is a topic that is, I think, right in both of our hitting zones. Someone like Matt Groening. If you sat... I wonder how much drawing he actually does day to day. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

Because he's not like a... he's not doing his comic anymore. He's not someone who you think of as getting up, fixing a cup of coffee in the morning, and it's like, I fill two pages of the sketchbook before I do anything else. If you sat him down and said, draw me the Simpson family right now, I wonder what would come out.

I wonder what it's looking like. I reckon he'd keep his hand in a tiny bit, but not very much. Yeah. Not very much. he's in meetings he's got shit to do like yeah he's not he's not because he's not someone who you think of this like you know great like artist who's you know deeply yeah you know what he's not like he's got an instagram account where he's like doing paintings and sharing stuff like yeah you're right he's overseeing the business he's the he's the ideas guy. He's got that Netflix show now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, he'd be working on that. But in terms of just like sitting down and like his characters being like, yeah, I just had these pages and pages in the sketchbook and the characters' ideas are just bursting out of me. He's like, you know, he's too busy on the Lolita Express. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not so much doing little doodles but something else. So, yeah, yeah. He's not so much doing little doodles,

but something else. So, yeah. Thanks. Thanks, Luanne. Thanks, Luanne. We didn't even get onto the name Luanne. Anyway, thanks, Luanne Schultz. Thank you to Patreon subscriber.

Another interesting name. Thank you to Elodie Craniac. Fucking hell. This can't be real. That you to Elodie Craniac. Fucking hell. This can't be real. That is... Elodie. L-E-L-O-D-I-E. You can't spell Elodie without Odie.

Yep. Oh. Yeah. Elodie Craniac. Craniac. Yeah. What the fuck? I know.

A lot going on. I think this person's spelled their name wrong. I think it's meant to be Melody Brainiac. She just fucked it up. If you're not copying that at school, then your schoolmates are fucking up. Are you going to look her up? Yeah, of course I am. Have a crack, mate.

I'm going to go looking as well. I just need a bit of proof that this is a real thing. Elodie. I mean, it just seems unrealistic, doesn't it? Don't you think? Yeah, Elodie. You'd think that if your last name is Craniac, don't call your kid Elodie.

You know? If your last name is Craniac, though, honestly, and you're having a kid, go with something. But, you know, Craniac's one of those names where it doesn't really matter what the first name is. Wow, okay. I can't find. I've got her.

Oh, really? Okay. I've got her. Not only have I got her, she is from the great town of Adelaide. Ah, okay. Yeah. And she, for all the questioning of her name, we should be giving a bit more respect she is a

registered nurse she's on the front line oh yeah here we go alright I'm having a look as well in a nice in this time of year this time of

the history of the planet nothing but plaudits to the fine people in there on the front line especially in Adelaide keeping keeping COVID-19 from from decimating crowd numbers in there at the front line, especially in Adelaide, keeping COVID-19 from decimating

crowd numbers in there at comedy rooms. Exactly, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, thanks, Elodie. Sorry for, you know, I hope it doesn't come across too much like we're making fun.

We're not making fun. We're just fascinated. Absolutely astounded. The combo of name. Either of those names individually would be like, what's going on here? But to whack two of them together. Exactly.

Jesus Christ. And like you said, Tommy, she's not getting, what did you say? Melody Brainiac. Melody Brainiac. That's the one. That's the one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Melody Brainiac.

So that's like a, I guess that's a composer, right? Well. Someone who's a Brainiac for melodies. That's like, that's Paul McCart one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Melody Brainiac. So that's like a, I guess that's a composer, right? Well. Someone who's a Brainiac for melodies. That's like, that's Paul McCartney. Yeah. He's a Melody Brainiac. He's a Melody Brainiac. Yeah, yeah.

That's, what if that's the name he checked into in hotels? Melody Brainiac. That's his Errol P. Mosquito. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Melody P. Brainiac. Yeah. That would be good. He's got a new album out this week.

McCartney 3. McCartney 3. That's what I was going to call my festival show next year. Oh, really? Damn. You're playing all the instruments in your own solo show next year? I genuinely am thinking about, because my show for 2020 was to be called Meatball, which I didn't end up doing. I'm genuinely thinking of just next year going with Meatball 2.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. That's good. Yeah. Do that. Yeah. Same poster. Same photo.

I mean, I paid for the photo and barely got to. It is pretty funny. And I guess tons of people are in this position. You know, the comedy festival having been cancelled in 2020. You know, everyone had already gotten it cancelled in 2020, you know, everyone had already gotten it cancelled basically at the last minute, like very close to happening. So, you know, everyone had their assets out there, like their artwork and their posters and everything.

You know, I ended up doing the show twice in Brisbane and Adelaide for this podcast, like the live shows that we did there. And you'd say you probably didn't do it in its full form. I didn't do it in its full form. So I basically never did the show. So effectively, it's like I spent a good amount of money to just get a new Twitter profile picture. Yes.

A lot of comedians are in that position. It's just paying a few hundred bucks for a new DP. I'll be using mine again. Oh, of course. Yeah, it's like, well, yeah, you've got to use all the same shit. But I did love the idea that it's almost funny to just move straight on and get a new image and then just always be like, yep, just paid a lot for a good old year on Twitter where I didn't really tweet that much.

But when I did, there was a photo of me eating spaghetti for really no apparent reason whatsoever. Yeah. I'm all over it. Yeah. I'm doing that. Elodie Brainiac. I wonder if she was at the show. I wonder if she was at the show. I wonder if she was at the show.

Well, you know, she's a nurse, and that was like the weekend that everything was really kicking off. So you'd like to think that she probably assumed it was wiser to not be out in public, but who knows? Yeah, she could be very irresponsible. Hey, well, you know, just because it says on her Facebook page that she's a nurse, doesn't mean she's any good at it. She could be a terrible nurse.

She could have been in our show nursing a few beers. Exactly. All right, well, thanks, Elodie. Thanks, Elodie. Please let us know the history of your bullying at school or just people coming up and saying, what the fuck is up with your name? Or even just you getting to a certain point in your life and going, mum, dad, we've got the last name, craniac.

Yep. You've given me a humdinger on the start of my name as well. Exactly. Instead of, if I was you, I would have maybe, you know, just gone down the deed poll office and changed my name to Jones or something. Like, what's the thinking? Yep. Let us know.

Thanks, Elodie. Thanks, Elodie. Thanks, Elodie. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Mel Casio. Casio. Mel Casio. Casio. More music. I'm trying to steer away from Casio because that's the obvious one, but it seems like

it's Casio. I'll say Casio. Mel Casio. Casio. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Mel Casayo C-A-S-A-O what

how would you go with that one that's Casayo yeah I guess so yeah but then when you say it Mel Casayo it kind of makes it sound like she must get people be like

so wait is your name I think it's a he it's a he okay I think you must get people go wait is your name Melka Sayo? Mel.

Why would people say that? Well, I don't know. It just sounds like, you know, it all runs together. Right. It does sound like. It kind of bleeds into Melka Sayo. It sounds like we're getting tricked into saying something that we didn't want to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Melka Sayo. You're right. It feels like we're Moe on The Simpsons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Bart's pranking us. But there's no clear. Is there a Melko? Yeah. Is there a Melko? Yeah.

Is there a Melko? Melko Sayo? Melko Sayo? Yeah. Oh, yeah, there is. If you're fucking... No, that's not a thing. That's an immediate little bag of puke.

Yeah, yeah. I'm going to come over to your house and I'm going to put a sledgehammer down your throat and I'm going to bash your toes. Like many things in The Simpsons, that was kind of a cool one for, you know, when they were doing it. But then they sort of got over it within about a season.

Yes. They ran out of them. Yeah. I follow a guy on Instagram who's got this huge Simpsons memorabilia collection and he's always, like, posting stuff of stuff that he's got. And he's got all this stuff from, like, you know, when they just went crazy with merch when the show launched and all this stuff that's like,

yeah, that has all this references in it that they never use anymore. Like in the first couple of seasons when they would always watch the happy little elves and like the space means like they had all this like Simpsons law that we're about to say. So they're just like, yeah, fuck this.

Let's just get rid of all of it. Yes. And then years down the line, they're like, what if the law is that Barney's sober now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Mel Casayo, I think now he is, I've seen him on the socials.

I think he's a keen dum-dum fit clubber. Ah, okay, okay. Of all the little groups and bullshit that we have on Facebook and whatever, someone a few years ago started a thing called Dumb Dumb Fit Club, I think, which was just a bunch of listeners that, yeah. I think we were talking about fitness a bit on the show at the time. that someone went, hey, let's just put this all in the one place so that it's not going to be too distracted by posts of number plates with 69 on them and mugs that say Rad Dad. And yes, a lot of people posting their run times or sort of making a declaration that they're going to start doing something

about their fitness or their health or whatever. Yeah, it's very positive. Yeah, there's a bunch of people in there that are just big old fat asseses they're going i'm going to change something now there's some people in the middle and then i reckon this bloke is uh at the top end of it where or you know there's there's people in the middle like us that are every now and then going oh this is what we've done and and we're like gods to the fat asses that are just starting to do stuff yeah um but then all of a sudden we get absolutely shamed by some people in there in the fit club that are just starting to do stuff. But then, all of a sudden, we get absolutely shamed by some people in there, in the fit club,

that are just like nearly pro athletes going, yay, I did 5K in six minutes. And you go, okay, all right, all right. Usain Bolt getting in there, feeling a bit chunky today, guys. It's time to download a couch to 5K. Went for a walk. Yeah, just made a PW, a personal worst,

ran the 100 in nine seconds. Oh, I have to kill myself at the West Game Hall. So, yeah, that's what this bloke is. Absolutely gunning it in there, making us middle tier. I wonder if he's listening to this now while he's on a run. Quite possibly. Quite possibly. Inspiring him to a new personal best.

Let us know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quite possibly Quite possibly Inspiring him to a new personal best Let us know Yep Yep Yep Yeah He could be listening to this While he's on one of those You know those guys They get in there as well

They do They track their run And they try and make the shape of something Oh yeah yeah yeah Try and do a bit of dick and balls work Or whatever it is Yep Yeah

Did someone I think someone tried to do a 69 Didn't they I think I think so Someone can do a Rad Day. That'll be the next one. That's pretty long.

That's a pretty big run. I know. Yeah. Well, if anyone could do it, I reckon Mel Casayo could do it. And you also do need very, very specific kind of geography. Yes. Yeah, yeah. You basically need the town planner where you live to have thought of this when they were designing the city. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You basically need the town planner where you live to have thought of this

when they were designing the city. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You need to really give a good look at the Melways if you're living in Melbourne to figure out a place where you can spell out Rad Day. Yeah. But hey, if someone wants to work on that.

Oh. Yeah. That will be like, I reckon the most annoying thing about, you know, appreciate everyone that listens to the show, appreciate everyone that remembers segments of the show, remembers references to the show. You know, it can be easy to be a bit like, oh, we've seen that a million times,

but that means that they like something, means that they've been listening, all that sort of stuff. The most annoying one would be the amount of people sending us coffee mugs as they write that on it because it's like we know. It's that and then it's, I think there's people that genuinely think that whoever's made that mug has ripped us off. Yes.

That's the silly thing. Yeah. We didn't. We didn't make that up. Yeah. We didn't make that. We didn't make up Rad Dad. We just, we've said it before, but someone tried to cast me as a Rad Dad.

Meaning I did not write down the words Rad Dad. Someone else did. Yeah, yeah. That wasn't me. And we just appropriated and made it. I was going to say made it funny, but made it whatever we made it. Yeah, exactly. Into something.

Into something. Filling time. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We doggy paddled. Yeah. With content. So, but.

A rad dad. Instead of sending us a coffee mug saying Rad Dad on it, if you could write Rad Dad as you ran. Find a place in the world where you can run. Yes. And it's not just on an oval where you've got a blank slate. If you've worked out the streets and a little course around there, that's what we want to see.

Yes. Now, that's acceptable. All right. Thanks, Mel. Thanks, Mel. We've got to wrap this up. I am b we want to see. Yeah. Now that's acceptable. All right. Thanks, Mel. Thanks, Mel. We got to wrap this up. I am busting to go to the tour. Oh, I think you're busting to come.

Yeah. Yeah. Because you stop a lot of the shows that way. All right. We'll do one more then. Okay. Okay. I'll scrap the rest of them.

I'll just do this fifth one. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Oh, okay. That's interesting. Yep.

Okay. That reminds me of something that happened earlier in the read. Oh, my God. Earlier in the read. Okay. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber David Jones Comedy. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We had My Windows Jones Comedy. Oh, right. Okay.

Yeah. We had Myers for my windows. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is like Brent. This must be a listener that's sort of like Brendan Myers, except he probably thinks he's

a little bit better. Yeah. Yeah. Everything. I think he probably is a little bit better. Might be a little bit better. A bit more esteem to him. Slightly.

His kitchen or his food's probably a little bit better, I think. He's got a food court. That's the big difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. That's it. Yeah, he's got some good muffins. Will that do?

Yeah, that'll do. Thanks, everyone. LittleDumbDumbClub.com. See you in Perth. Bye. Bye-bye.