The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 535 - The Best of 2020

Episode Date: December 30, 2020

They've Done It Again, for another year! We're counting down the five best episodes of 2020, as voted by YOU! A huge range of clips from a bunch of super fun episodes, plus heaps of new content from the two of us in between. Did your vote make it to number one? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another year. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and with me as always, the other half of this yearly program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. As they say in the classics, the Little Dumb Dumb Club comes but once a year. This is the annual. Yep. Little Dumb Dumb Club annual.

Exactly. We're very active on the social media for a show that only does one episode per 52 weeks. Yep. But, you know, got to fill the time in somehow. This is the best of. This is the summer programming. This is the bit at the end. You know what?

I know a lot of listeners just ignore us for 51 weeks and go, you know what? We'll catch up on the last episode when they do a bit of a best of. I wade through all the fucking bullshit where we can just get the absolute treacle at the end of it. I mean, you're saying that to be funny, but I do literally do that with a couple of podcasts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Wow, okay. But yeah, some are programming.

So this is, you fired up the podcast app and you're getting a bit of that 70s show. You're just marveling at how young Ashton Kutcher looks. Yeah, this is a bit of a look back. Like, wow, they've really, they're asleep at the switchboard. They just don't give a fuck what's going on in this week. They'll just put any old rot out to air. 2020, what a year, hey, Tommy?

What a great year. Pretty strange stuff. No, well, I guess a little bit. I mean, look, I got sick in March and didn't really check the news after that because I felt like it was sort of getting me down. There's always a bit of negative stuff, so a bit crook in March.

But then the rest of the year, I thought it was a great year. I mean, look, there was no traffic uh you know not that many people annoy me when i was walking down the street and stuff it was uh it was good it was a good year i thought yeah yeah i uh i own a chemist and uh that did pretty well right great um what else i mean look chairs in pfizer and that's paying off for me that just's just for Viagra, right? Yes. That's why you got that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You just bought so much Viagra that they gave you shares in it. Yeah, I bought shares in Viagra last year. I thought there's something in this. I've got a feeling that 2020 is going to be making people very limp. You thought 2020 is going to be your year. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I mean, there was a lot of people walking around in masks.

Obviously, I didn't check the news, so burglary must be up. But apart from that, I thought just a great- And that made you think, good year? Yeah. Well, I didn't- Share the wealth. They didn't rob me. So I thought, even better of a year.

Right. You saw a lot of people walking around looking like they were going to rob places, and you thought, so this is what trickle-down economics is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right. I thought, well, the economy, you know, look, I'm in podcasting, so I'm- Bulletproof. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Nothing can affect me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right. Well, the economy, you know, look, I'm in podcasting, so I'm... Bulletproof. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. Nothing can affect me. Yeah. Sure, it's a little bit of a selfish way of looking at things, for sure, but, you know, the podcast went well for us this year. Yep. All the episodes were great. We had a few.

What was your, you know, this is the best of, what's the worst of? What's your least favourite episode, Tommy? Funnily enough, these five episodes we're about to hear. Wow. This is a real double up. Wow. Okay. What a great contrast.

So I should be sort of talking up these episodes and you should be telling us what you hate about them. Well, it's just an interesting bit of kind of, I guess, almost symmetry where the tastes of the host are completely at odds with the tastes of the people that listen to the show. And the co-host. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

A real original odd couple happening. That's a good question. What is the worst, what was the worst episode of the year? We did, I mean, you were the, you edit the episodes. So you, you know, you're, I guess this is the year of you saying, I didn't have as much fun because you have memories of doing a lot of editing of a lot of uh zoom calls being right i was in the edit deeper in the edit suite uh than i ever have been in my life and so yeah once you've spent hours and hours patching something together it's hard to find any humor or joy yes i mean you

spent that long putting it you. You were concentrating so much on syncing up the time differences between us all. I noticed you left quite a lot of N-words in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they were segued seamlessly in there. Well, normally that's all I have to do. Right. Like I just go through and take out all the N-bombs.

Well, I thought you put them in, but anyway. Right, right. I don't listen back. No, no, yeah. I go in, I take them out. That's usually pretty quick. But this year, year yeah because of having to line up the different tracks and take out the cross talk and the awkward pauses and all that kind of stuff by the time i do that i'd be just about to hit upload and i'd think oh fuck i didn't do the n-word yeah but then by then

it's been eight hours of editing and it's like you know what there's bigger things there's you know there's bigger things going on exactly and um you know you've seen the people at our live shows you kind of get the vibe they would like that in there right you know leave them oh numbers up numbers up across the board this year most downloads we've ever had great great great um but it has been a great year uh despite everything despite you know my unpleasantness with watching people with masks and yeah weirdly you know as i was doing that um people with masks. And yeah, weirdly, you know, as I was doing that, seeing you walking along without a mask and trying to take them off other people,

I thought that was weird. But, you know, I guess you want people to be identified when they're robbing houses and stuff like that. I think you've got your eyes crossed there because I was, this year, like every other year, I was inside the whole time. Oh, really? A story about seeing me out in the street

interacting with other people is maybe the most slanderous thing you've ever said on this show so i'll thank you it's been a crazy year i'll thank you to keep your this is a case of mistaken identity you've seen a doppelganger and i'll thank you to actually check and verify that before you level an accusation like that no as is as has been well documented on this program over 10 years, I am a bit of a misanthrope. I enjoy the company of myself to the exclusion of all others. And so this year, that was the weird thing for me was that everyone's talking about social distancing and social isolation. That's something that I myself have been doing for years. It felt like a year where everyone was cosplaying as Tommy Dasolo.

That was the thing I found strangest about the year. Everything else, business as usual. Right, right, right. I think I'm getting my head around it now. There must have been someone else. Right, great. A lot of great episodes. A lot of great episodes to choose between.

Of course, this Best Of was put out to you, the listeners, on the socials so that you could decide what you thought was the best episode. So all these episodes come in. This is not our personal choices. This is yours. We can't be held accountable for any content on this episode that people don't like. Yeah. It's not us.

No. Turn on yourselves. That's it. Get in the group on Facebook and go, who the fuck picked this one? Don't message us. Yes, yes. No, that's a good point. So if you're on the socials, good.

This is like America. You don't have to vote. But if you vote, you can make a difference. Yeah, exactly. So get on Twitter, get on Instagram, get on Facebook, get in the private groups. Yep. You know, give us money on Patreon. That's got not much to do with the voting process, but it would help us out.

Yeah, we should have started a thing where, yeah, the votes of people that are on Patreon are worth more. Double. Yes. Next year. Trying to, yeah. Someone remind us as it's coming up next year. I don't know how the fuck we'd work that. No, you know what we do.

I'd start a different spreadsheet, I guess. We do two different votes. We do two different surveys. We just give the great unwashed yeah yeah yeah yeah and we put a special diamond tipped survey in the in the patreon on patreon and then i add those up and every one vote on patreon is worth like love this or 10 i love this i love it's worth the amount of money yeah times the amount of money that you pay on patreon what a democracy so if you want to if you want to pick the number one, hey, go for it. Put in $1,000 on Patreon. Your one vote will be worth $1,000.

Yes. Yes. Oh, the rich are getting richer. I love it. Is this our version of the electoral college? Yes. I love this. This is great.

The electoral cuntage. Yeah, there's going to be like an episode with like Blakey on where he's just going to turn into Trump. The election was rigged. Yeah, exactly. It was rigged. I should have been number one. Exactly. Yeah.

But look, it was the year that we, you know, we discovered Zoom like the rest of the world, which meant that instead of just waiting for people to just blow in into town and be emceeing a few gigs and earning about $300, and then us going, hey, come and do our podcast while you're here. We could just talk to whoever we want around the world. So we did a bit of that. But, of course, we still have that function, I guess. So from now on, we really don't have any excuse for what happens on every three weeks. That's true.

It's true. But we'll do our best. People did get sick of Zoom pretty well. And a shout out to all the people that were locked inside their houses with nothing to do, yet still wouldn't come on our show. Exactly, yeah. I think a lot of people feel like this has changed podcasting forever. We can, oh, what a revelation.

We can have people from all over the world whenever we want. And then, of course, in Melbourne, we did it for four months. And I think a lot of people at the end of that went, no, I don't think I'll ever do that again if I don't have don't have to like yeah it will just be back to kappa and blakey because sure it'd be great to fucking get steven k amos down the line or fucking you know whoever in america but like fuck doing that exactly i think we've had a few discussions about that lately where it's like oh you know we can still do that and we can get someone from america and it's like now let's get fucking dave o'neill in the same room as us.

Yeah. That's better. Yeah. But there is a good mix of, if you go back through the episodes of 2020, a lot of people we wouldn't have normally got. So it's a nice little spread of people. But sorry, suck shit, cunts. It's back to normal.

We'll be getting fucking limo every week from now on. Yes. So, yeah, enjoy that. Where's he placing this list? Well, we're about to find out, I guess. We're about to find out. Well, without further ado, how about we get stuck into some clips. So we are going to be counting down the top five episodes of the year.

We are going to be starting from number five and going up to number one. A little system that we've created for this show. I hope that doesn't put any people off. If you need to pause now and take a little break to wrap your head around that system of counting things down by all means and of course because we're counting from 5 to 1 instead of from 1 to 5

number 5 is Mr Comedy and hang on is that right or not not what you have the results I did my own count sorry again if you want to rig it next year if you want to subscribe to your own Patreon and have a controlling stake in the votes, then go for it.

Right. But yes, we will be these five eps voted by you, a real smorgasbord of different shit going on here. So enjoy this. And also, yeah, if this is the first time you're listening to the show, we know that sometimes people recommend these episodes to friends. Welcome aboard. Go back in and dive We know that sometimes people recommend these episodes to friends. Welcome aboard. Go back in and dive in on the full versions of these episodes

if you enjoy the clips. But here at number five is episode 515 with Gareth Reynolds and Nina Oyama. Oh, you demanded it. So let's enjoy this. Do we need to set this up? This is a Zoom call, but you wouldn't know it thanks to your marvelous editing skills, Tommy. We've been talking before this about you not knowing your shoe size. Yes.

And. And it progresses from, yeah, I've obviously got something wrong with me in terms of not knowing how to fucking dress myself. And so, yeah, get ready probably probably a disability that you didn't think a person could have yep enjoy i've done this i've got a continual habit where i buy clothes and then i go home and i wear them for a while convince myself that it's the right size then have to admit to myself within a week that it's not the right size. I can no longer take it back because I've been wearing it for a week. And so I go back and buy the next size up.

So many of my jeans I've bought in two different sizes. What? Yes. Hang on. But this is just telling me that you think you're skinnier than you are. You try it on and you're like, oh yeah, I'm a little size zero. I could be a model. And then you come home

and you're like, oh, I'm a fat fuck. I need a cut down on the pussy burn. You've talked on the show recently about how much you're snacking and how many muffins and cookies and stuff you're eating. I think it's like you're literally outgrowing these within one week of having them. I think they fit when you get them home the first time. So you're snacking and how many muffins and cookies and stuff you're eating. I think it's like you're literally outgrowing these within one week of having them.

I think they fit when you get them home the first time. So you're buying stuff that you're like, oh, I'm hot Carl. I'm skinny. And then you're doing that and then you're going home and you're going, I'm fatty. That's what's happening? Yeah. Well, I'm buying clothes in the shopping center and then hitting them up. In the supermarket.

I'll take another apron. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So I don't think it's that. I'll take another apron. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So I don't think it's that. I don't think it's that because it goes both ways. So this has happened my whole life where, like, even in Thailand, you were talking about Thailand before. I went to Thailand once and went, you know what,

I'll stock up on cheap jeans there. And so I went to this stall and went, yeah, great. And I kind of think the problem is I try stuff on and I do not make any evaluation whatsoever. I don't think about it. If they're physically on me, I think, well, they technically fit.

If they're actually covering my legs, that means they fit. That's good enough for me. No offence, but why do you try things on if you're not even going to look at yourself in the thing? I'm not justifying it. What is the point? I don't know. What is the point of you trying things on?

I'm just a big fan of being in the change room. It's like a holiday within the holiday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a really quick job. I'm just signing off on it with no expertise. I'm thinking, they've let me go into the change room with these. They must think this is vaguely in the ballpark. I think you think these people are doctors.

This is vaguely in the ballpark. I think you think these people are doctors. It's your fault for not bursting into the change room and putting your hand down the waistband of my pants to see how much room there is in there. Excuse me, you let me walk back there with these jeans. Don't you work here? Don't you know your job? You're a pants psychic, jerk-off.

That's responsible serving. They should be doing responsible serving Carl, let me walk you through This industry that you're pitching Excuse me, miss I think that dress is a little too small For you to take back there Oh, fired? Okay, bye-bye

I know, like I used to work in retail And it was like, you can't be like Oh, do you want to size up? Like that is the rude thing. Sir, if I may. Do you want another size? Yeah, you never say. You're too fat for your outfit.

We have bigger for people like you. Well, I bought a bunch of jeans. This is an example of this. A bunch of jeans? How many? I bought three pairs of jeans in Thailand once, right? Three? It was at a stall.

Stuck together like bananas? Just one bunch of your finest... Three kilos of jeans, thanks. I picked up one pair and there was two stuck underneath it and I didn't realise. They have one of those high knives on a big, big branch that they're just cutting them down from. Yeah, a pair of the Levi's ladyfinger, please.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Threevi's ladyfinger please is this enough yeah i guess i guess i can eat that um so i bought three pairs of jeans on the in a thailand stall and then i went i just went okay they look all right i'll try them on i'll go up the back to the room and the guy was like there's no room you try them here on the footpath and so i had to take my pants off on the footpath and try them in the street and so I tried this pair on and because it's like I don't want to take these pants off again and have to do this for half an hour

I was like yeah yeah that's fine and then I went home with three pairs of jeans that didn't fit me in any way whatsoever when was this? this is like five years ago maybe okay so your wife when you come home and you're like just what does she say if you was she privy to this scenario she has now become my person who when i go in the first time and buy

jeans that don't fit me she is the one who returns them and goes in and cleans. She fixes it. She's the fixer. Well, because there's presumably no room for any of her clothes in this shed cupboard of yours, because there's just pairs and pairs of jeans that don't fit you that you're never going to wear. And what a great way,

if she doesn't like any of the dumb clothing you're buying, for her to just be like, oh, Carl, that's too small, and then just take it back so you don't get it well she now she now knows again you're a grown man who has foot amnesia yeah well she oh no honestly like i'm aware of this and i actually really try and concentrate now i i actually when i go and buy jeans i go i have i literally say to myself all right don't forget to try not to fuck this one up what is going on so i was nice this is nuts i went this is so stupid yeah this is like the dumbest like drama like this disease of yours

is just like on the list it's just insane it's infuriating i know i don't know what you're like a sitcom husband i don't i don't understand this is like a assistant. Yes. You are the black and white husband from the infomercial. But I threw the full egg in the frying pan and it doesn't look like an omelette yet. The other day I literally had this thought. I was like, I've got one tattoo. I honestly think my next tattoo is going to be my sizes on each part of my body. Love it. My jeans size.

Like the memento guy? Yeah. Don't believe his lies. you're a size 12 yeah right yeah right right try them on and then take them off don't forget to take them off too carl yeah yeah i'm gonna take these off yeah like some people have a list of their kids birthdays there's like numbers on their back but but you're just going to have all your measurements. Yeah, like people have their coordinates where they were born. I think that would be a really good idea. This is like, your whole explanation of this,

this is like if Seinfeld had never ended and was still going, this is the kind of storyline they'd be doing now where people are like, fuck, this show's really lost it. It's been on for too long. What are they talking about? And you've turned it into like you're seven years in Tibet. So. I sometimes.

When will I learn my shoe size? Carl, honestly, I don't know. Why the fuck don't you know it yet? Seven years in the change room. No, Carl. Trying to work out if the shirt fits. Yeah. That's actually why Seinfeld dated a 17-year-old,

because he just wasn't sure how old she was. Yeah. Yeah, he just wasn't sure how old she was. Yeah. Yeah, he just walked into the candy store and he was like, how old is she? Does anyone know? What do you guys think? She looks about the right age for me. Doesn't she look 18?

Turns out she's a child. She feels like she's 18. I love the idea of Carl being in an argument with someone and them going, well, if the shoe fits and him going, I don't know what's happened here. I'm assuming I've won the argument. What do you mean? If the shoe fits what? Then you are very lucky

that day in the shop, that's for sure. If the shoe fits, well... Then your dad wasn't there encouraging you to make the foolish purchase. When people say that to me, if the shoe fits, I say I'm yet to come to that day. So yeah, it's hard for me to tell.

If the shoe fits, it sounds like the fucking dumb kind of footlocker has done his job properly for once. That's what I was going to say, yeah. Someone's due a promotion.

You're like the reverse of Cinderella. You're just like looking for one shoe that fits you out of a thousand shoes. You're just trying on all the different shoes. Instead of them going from door to door to find Cinderella, I'm Cinderella going from door to door just saying,

have you got any jeans that would fit this? Any glass jeans? Cinderella, you can't marry 150 princes. But they all fit. No, they didn't. Most of them were not your size. They all fit technically. I could play football in a season.

And they've done it again. Oh, absolutely. Wow. Wow. Benny's kicked a big one. Get ready for that one. Yep. Yeah. Hey, that was fun. You know what? That reminded me, Wow Wow Bernie's kicked a big one Get ready for that one Yep Yeah Hey that was fun

You know what That reminded me Listening to that I've still got that bag of jeans That don't fit me Okay So on the next live show I'll be

That'll be on the merch desk Auctioning them off That'll be on the merch desk Great Not auctioning So much as selling Simply selling Yep

Don't do a silent auction At the pod I like the idea of that. People can just come and put some money down and see what they think they're worth. I did enjoy listening to that thinking, you know what, I haven't had jeans problems since then. I finally found...

Because what we were literally talking about, that was like a long convoluted process of buying so many pairs of jeans in a short amount of time until i finally got jeans that sort of sort of half fit me right so at the moment i haven't had that problem right yeah okay so it's just probably another couple of months until i have to run into that until we can do the sequel until i and i heard that clip uh where i've the idea of having my size tattooed on my leg and i was like fuck that's right i meant to do that you were actually going to do it i think

it's a good idea it is a pretty good idea yeah so where would you get it on my thigh i think yeah okay yeah because like i mean that's bad though because if you think about why you're getting it done when you're in the shop you're asking for an item of clothing off the rack yes and the lady goes what size are you and you go oh hang on a sec you're right you have to drop trow in order to do it yeah you're dead right it's pretty yeah you're dead right that okay cancel that idea because get it on the knuckles yeah that's not too bad because like that thing like when people ask me in shops i have to very quickly pivot around and see if i can see the tag on my ass about my jeans yeah so yeah that doesn't help at all so where should i get it should i get on the maybe um on the inside

of my thumb or something like that so i can just sort of peer down and be like oh what my size is i think it's like oh there it is yep yep yep yep that's pretty good thank you and then and then it looks like you're giving the lady a thumbs up oh yeah you're like wow what a what a positive guy yeah what a pleasant man that's weird that you're giving me the thumbs up about your own size yeah sure okay yeah no worries 34 he's to be happy with whatever I bring out. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I've still got to do my, well, to be fair, I didn't fuck up.

There was no tattooist open when we were recording that. So it's not like I could walk out the door and get that done. So that's still very doable. I can still do that. Yeah. Great to have those two guests. Yeah. Great to be able to do an episode with gareth without him

touring over here yes exactly yeah exactly option so always fun to hang out with him yeah and uh yeah so lovely lovely to have both of those nina and nina nina probably in 2020 maybe really i mean look she's doing better stuff than this podcast. But yeah, she'd really become a favorite. Fan favorite? Yeah, on this show. That was another great stress of doing these Zoom ones, was having to, in the case of this episode and a bunch of others on this list too, coordinate time zones with people and just really be like getting close to the time of doing it

and just opening up the world clock on my phone going, God, I hope I haven't fucked this. I really hope I haven't gotten this time difference wrong and yeah we're just going to be on there going where's gareth and he's like what are you talking about yeah this is in eight hours yeah ah fuck we did a little there was uh no i don't think we ever had anyone just straight up not know the time okay yeah no not on this one actually yeah um but hey look that's number five number four is coming up yeah um this was again deep into lockdown this one this is this is all of us in four different locations isn't it deep in but i think this may have been only the second or third week of it the first one but this

is episode 501 will anderson and dave anthony this is the... A certain list. Well, it's in the clip. It's all in the clip. It's all in the clip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is a very fun one. Will Anderson and Dave Anthony all the way in LA and all the way in... Where the fuck is he again?

Byron Bay. Byron Bay. Yeah. We've just been talking about how Will is in a house that was used for filming for Skippy. Skippy the Bush Kangaroo, the TV show. There's a certain reference to that in there somewhere. But very quickly, we outgrew that and got into a very interesting little thing that I found on the internet about Will Anderson.

Yeah. All right, let's hear this. 501 Will Anthony, Will Anderson and Dave Anthony. Will Anderson and Dave Anthony. So I was looking at IMDb for Dave and then I was like, oh, okay, I'll have a look at Will and see if Will's done anything really early days that I didn't know about.

And there wasn't really anything that I didn't know about or anything like that. But what I did see was there was a link next to your page where it's got like um you know lists that i didn't know you could do sort of do these lists on imdb but like a bunch of lists that you might be in you know like famous australian actors or famous you know stuff like that so there was a list um next to your name that says um you're on a list that's called top aussie blokes and so i clicked on that and that's what it says top aussie blokes and then when you click on it when you get to the actual page it says top aussie blokes and then underneath it says dot dot

dot that i want a bone and you're number one on that list so well let me tell you why i made that list though but i thought that's so funny it's just like a hook it's like you think it's some like ray martin's made some nice list, top Aussie blokes, and then dot, dot, dot, that I want to bone. So then you're number one. Will Anderson's number one. Okay, well, firstly, I'd like to thank everybody who put this list together. I appreciate being number one on any list.

Hey, not everyone, just one person. You just want to thank Hayley Stockall. So thanks to Hayley Stockall, who ranked you as the number one top Aussie bloke that she wants to bone. And then ranked. I would kind of love it if that was the whole list. Yeah. Yeah.

No, no, there's a lot on the list. Well, this is what I need to. Number 11 is Tom Ballard. So good luck with that one. Have you seen this before? I love firstly that you say that Tom being gay rules out the possibility that Hayley will get to bone this person, locking in the possibility that I might still.

It's not going to happen for me and Hayley either. Well, and also the title of the list is that I want to bone, not that I think I have a chance of being able to bone. Like she's allowed to be as fantastic as she wants. Yeah. And, Will, I've never heard you identify as a person who definitely doesn't want to bone Hayley Stockall. So, you know, unless you want to get that going, how was I thought?

But that was actually what his show was going to be about. I love that Hayley's put together this list and she's put it on IMDB, the natural home of a list like this. The International Movie Database. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to flick the bean tonight, Mike. Go to IMDB. Wow.

Okay, so who else is on the list? Who came in number two? Number two, well, it'll be interesting, the top three, actually. So number one is Will Anderson. Number two is Josh Lawson. Number three is Adam Hills. Mix it up, Hayley. Come on.

Come on. Get a bit of variety in your life there. You two are already mistaken all the time if you guys look similar or you know why not why not have some some different faces in the top three well i i'm taking that that you're comparing us to being as handsome as josh lawson so i'm i'm absolutely fine with this list so far yeah well well no well you're number five's ch Hemsworth, so your four places above him. Wow! Very nice work. This is getting better every day.

I mean, like, you know, this is brilliant so far. I mean, okay, it's a little white. If we were in a casting meeting right now, we might say, is there any diversity you're going to throw on the list there, Hayley? But, you know, sure. Oh, yeah. Hayley's a bit probo, yeah. Yeah.

What I quite like about this list is, and again, on IMDb, just a list of people she wants to root, is that at number 14 and 15, she's got number 14, Frank Woodley, number 15, Colin Lane. I've never heard of a sexual fantasy about having a three-way with Lane-O and Woodley before. Is that a common thing? Is that a common fantasy? Well, she didn't say equal 14th. That would be the threesome.

She said 14th and 15th, so she's going to have sex with Frank and then with Colin. Or maybe the other way around so that they save the good stuff until last. What I'd like some clarity on when she says the list of top Aussie blokes, does she mean that this is like the top people that she wants to root? Or when she says top Aussie blokes, does this mean that to qualify to being on this list,

you have to be a good bloke? So these are people that she assumes are good people that she wants to have sex with. Does that make sense? Or does she want to actually top them? Ah, right. Oh, yeah. Yeah, nice. Interesting. Yeah, nice.

Interesting. Nice, nice. Well, I assume that she's like putting top Aussie blokes there to get through the censor, to get through the censor of IMDb because then she slipped in the, you know, that I want to don't button. So she probably tried a few times to go dudes on TV that I want to suck off and just got denied from IMDb. So she's very cynically done that. dudes on TV that I want to suck off and just got denied from IMDb.

So she's very cynically done that. I can tell you for sure that that will not go away. You've tried that? Yeah, okay. From my own personal research. How long until this list gets mysteriously edited and Tony Martin shows up in the number one spot? How many comedians are in the... What's the top...

What does she give? The top 20? So how many comedians are in that 20? Is there anyone who doesn't do comedy? It's nearly... Well, Chris Hemsworth, I would say he doesn't do comedy. I don't know. I saw his last film.

Oh, ouch. Ouch. Old fucking rotten tomatoes over here. Oh, fuck. All right, Perez, settle down. I walked Will. Good one. You made Will walk out of the room, and now he fell down a well.

Fuck. Skippy. a well Thanks Skippy Skippy Oh thank god Thank god there's a smart kangaroo there Yeah Thank god there's an animal That can't speak English That we can pass on a message to

There is There's They're nearly all comedians There's Merrick Watts There's Angus Sampson There's Yeah Adam Hills

There's Andy Lee There's Tom Ballard There's Hamish Blake, there's Angus Sampson, there's Adam Hills, there's Andy Lee, there's Tom Ballard, there's Hamish Blake, Rove McManus, Lainon Woodley, Sean McAuliffe, Chris Taylor, Dave Lawson, Brendan Cowell, James Matheson. Nearly all comedians. Nearly all comedians. Right. Interesting. Nearly. Nearly. Chuck a plug for the podcast in the comments of this article.

Oh, yeah. Do it. Yeah. You should put in the comment section, you should say Carl, and I would definitely do Carl and Tommy from Little Dumb Dumb Club. Yeah. I'll do that. I'll do that.

The great thing is that knowing your fans, no one at all will visit this page and do anything. What I love about this is that because there's a list of 20 and it seems to be mostly comedians, you know there's at least one comedian who's now mad he didn't make the list. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Oh, yeah.

I can hear the steam coming out of Dave Hughes' ears as we speak. Found this bloody IMDB page. This girl doesn't want to root me. Pissed off. Well, it hasn't been updated for a while. I have to say, I'll take this off. This was created in July 2012. Oh, wow.

Oh, okay. So there might be some room to move. There may have been some new people into the mix since then. Wasn't Bella like 11 then? That's not cool. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah. He may have been straight then. Wasn't Ballard like 11 then? That's not cool. Oh yeah! Well yeah. He may have been

straight then. That may clear up some confusion. He may have been straight then. Well, he might not have been out. You know what I mean. You know what I mean. 2013. The year Tom Ballard decided to be gay.

We all remember where we were when he called us up and said, I've made a big decision. I'm turning gay. Yeah, I was on IMDB changing my choices. That's where I was. You had to call this poor woman up and tell her. Yeah, I might look her up. So what's her name?

Hayley Stockall. I'm going to look up her on Facebook and see if I can send her a message as we speak. Can you also imagine for her, though, if you do find her and you send her a message, the fact that she's written some list on IMDb eight years ago that she's probably clearly forgotten about and then she might just get a reminder from her past of like hey could you do an updated list what's your list now what's your 2020 yeah yeah she's she's married now she's married now to a guy that looks like will she's got three beautiful children lano wood, Woodley, Rove, all running around. And then this list comes back into her life.

Yeah, what if she's married a comedian now? Yeah, what if she's actually married... Oh, God. Yeah, this is how you meet my girlfriend for the first time, by unearthing her IMDB list from eight years ago. What if she's married like Dave Thornton and then we

bring this up and then all of a sudden there's just this big list of all the comedians she wants to root in Melbourne and Australia and this breaks them the fuck up. And he's not on the list. Jesus Christ. Brutal. Also, who doesn't put Dave Thornton on the list?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a conscious choice, isn't it? I mean, particularly because if you've got a type, like, you know, Dave Thornton fits you to that type. So it's actually a real harsh rejection for Thorno because if you're making a list of someone who's attracted to Adam Hills and me,

Thorno's just sitting there in the audience going, oh, any minute now my name's going to Adam Hills and me, Thorne O's just sitting there in the audience going, oh, any minute now my name's going to be called. I'm ready to go. Seeing Frank Woodley slip on a banana peel and go, God, I'd love him to fuck me. And then seeing Thorne and going, ew, yuck. Yucky.

This has to be a new thread from the show. Anytime we have anyone who's appeared on this list on the pod, we've got to get their thoughts on their ranking on this list. Yep. Got to run it by them. Well, there's two Hayley Stockalls on Facebook, and I've just messaged both of them with the link and with the message, is this you?

And if so, is this list and order still accurate? So I've messaged both of those people now. At least you don't seem like a total creep at all. Oh, my God. Fuck. Hang on. Hang on. I think I've messaged a girl who's like 12 years old. I've messaged her that message.

Hey, it's not that bad. It's not that bad. She was four when she wrote the list, okay? So it's not all bad. Man, I just messaged a child. I just messaged a child. I didn't look at the picture. I didn't look at the picture.

Why aren't I on this list? Don't you want to fuck me? I'm in comedy and I'm hot. I sent my wife out. I sent my wife and child out for a walk. Let's chat. The picture of her is like her and her friends at a playground. I've just

messaged her that message. Fuck. Ask her if she likes cats. Well, luckily maybe send another one and say apologies. I thought this was someone else. Luckily when the authorities get involved, Carl, they send another one and say apologies. I thought this was someone else. Luckily, when the authorities get involved, Carl, they'll know that you had no other choice other than to send the message before you clicked on the picture

to see if they were a 12-year-old girl. This is Facebook's fault. Why is that a function? Why does it make you send the message before you can see anything about the person? This one's on Zuckerberg. Why is my IMDB status currently updated to be soon to be appearing in Orange is the New Black? Why has that popped up now?

And they've done it again. But it's a good to be gone. Yep. Of course, that episode there, we talked about that list with that young lady. And if you listen to the episode after that, was it after that or the next week? Yeah, it was the next week, 502 with Scott Dooley and Cameron James. You can hear the follow-up. The follow-up where we did actually hear from the young lady involved.

She was one of the people that I did message. Yes, right. Not the child. Yes, not the child. But then we heard from people who knew her as well. Yes, yes. I think she ignored my message and then blocked me. Right, yeah.

And then her friends that listened to the show had to say to her, hey, you should reply to that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This would be funny. Yeah. That's right. Big week on the socials. And we got a bit of an updated list. So worth going back and having listened to that one for.

Yeah. Again, yeah, if this is your first time, check out that whole ep and check out the week after. Love hearing Dave losing his mind over the revelation that you've messaged a child. Yeah. Lots of fun there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, funny. And yeah, Will Anderson, what more can you say?

The MVP. That's it. Of this show. That's it. And very fuckable, obviously. Yeah. As proven by this list. Yeah, exactly.

Must be nice. I didn't need the list to clarify that for me. Oh, is he top of your list? It's just what I've always thought. Yeah. Top of your list? Yeah. Yeah, nice.

I remember being a child and seeing him on the gala for the first time and thinking, God, I'd love to talk about fucking him in public one day. Yeah. The dream come true. Yeah. Yeah. Saw him on the glasshouse. Like, too much current affairs.

How about just talking about a young girl sucking you off? More like the please fuck me in the arsehouse. There we go. Welcome new listeners. Okay, let's move this along. Your number three for 2020, episode 525, Daniel Walker and Ben Russell. Wow. Huge result.

That's a big result because, look, you can look at five and four and go, you know what, Gareth Reynolds, very popular. You know, both popular, but, you know, Gareth Reynolds got the dollop behemoth behind him. Yep. Episode four, same, I mean, number four on the list, the same deal with Dave, and then you've got superstar Will. Yep. Episode four, same, I mean, number four on the list, the same deal with Dave and then you've got superstar Will. Yep.

And then, but you know, number three, Daniel Walker and Ben Russell, not huge names. Not huge names. But the quality of the app and the fucked up shit within, that's a strong episode. Danielle came on with some ripper stories from her family history. So yeah, let's hear this clip right now. Your number three, Danielle Walker and Ben Russell. What they do with the show is they get the guests to answer a questionnaire so they know what sort of field of expertise you have,

what sort of music that you're into since it's a music comedy quiz show, just so that they can talk about stuff that you might vaguely be interested or that you might have a story about or whatever. So they'll send a survey out and it'll have stuff like, it'll say, what special subjects on the show would you, you know, do you know much about? What do you hope will be brought up? That sort of thing. And people will say, oh, like, for example, like Ben Russell, what sort of music do you like?

Just a cum, a lot of cumming. Cum music, right. Just write that in. Just musical cumming. Yeah, just a musical cumming. Just, you know, like cumming with a bunch of reverb in there. It feels like whale songs, but it's just different. I'm starting to realise why Danielle got the gig instead of the rest of us.

So people ask questions like that on the questionnaire. And people will say, oh, I really like hip-hop. I really like Kanye. I really like musicals, whatever it is. Now, or coming music. Come with Red Dead. Now, the question that was sent, that was the question that was sent to Danielle. What do you hope is on the list? What. What do you hope is on the list?

What special subjects do you hope is on the list? Danielle wrote Tropical Plants and My Grandad. So she was hoping that the questions on Spicks and Specks, a music quiz show, that Adam Hills was going to open up the board to Danielle and Tommy Emanuel and fucking Tina Arena and whoever else was on the show and go, guess what, we're all going to answer questions about Danielle's granddad tonight.

Ben's coming answer actually fits more because you could argue that it's the product of people having made sweet music with each other. It's the music of love, baby. You know what I'm saying? It's the music of love. Now you say that, I see that I've answered it stupidly. At the time I thought they'd just be like, all right, we've done with music for a second, Danielle.

What do you think about anthuriums? Right. done with music for a second, Danielle, what do you think about anthuriums? Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Okay. So your theory is Spix and Spex has gone for about 15 years. They must be sick of music by this point. Yeah. What about hydrangeas? Yes. What about Grandad Jack? Okay. Right.

You thought you'll be the one to help them pivot to a different subject matter. Yeah. Man, plants are in at the moment. Rare plants. The market's going bananas. I don't know if you know this, but they're going for literally, they're more expensive than diamonds at the moment. So honestly, it's crazy.

So I reckon there could be a market there for it. Oh, fantastic stuff. Fantastic stuff, Danielle. Now, Ben Russell, why don't you tell us about your specialty subject of cum? I'm so glad that you asked. Well, Tommy, to be fair,

the questions are based around the subjects that you provide, so have you got any questions about cum that Ben could perhaps answer? Oh, okay. What was the last song you were listening to that you... The last time you came while listening to music, what was the song?

I'll press the buzzer and then Alan Brough will answer it. Right, so Alan Brough knows what you came to He knows off The guy knows everything He knows quicker than you It's like a musical encyclopedia Great, great

He stole your subject He stole it But you know As long as he gets the job done It's Alan Brow You can't be mad at Alan Brough for fuck's sake. Yeah. I think he used to work in a cum store back in New Zealand, didn't he?

Isn't that how he got so knowledgeable? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A trans-Tasman cum store. Yeah, that's right. Oh, my God. But thanks to that, thanks to – so I saw through, you know, these submissions and these questionnaires and stuff like that. But that was the cool thing with Danielle's that, like,

you look through everyone else's questionnaires and submissions and some people have literally written nothing on theirs or they've just gone, oh, yeah like the beatles i i guess and then just send and send them whereas danielle's is like absolutely chockers it had like four seasons worth of stories within the questionnaire it was like they picked the stories that they wanted for the show and i was like they probably weren't even the best stories there's like you know there's another 10 stories that they wanted for the show, and I was like, they probably weren't even the best stories. There's like, you know, there's another 10 stories that are better than that. So I was like, we've got to get these stories to air.

And, you know, sure, they could be on here on Spicks and Specks and be heard by 1.2 million people, or they could be on here and heard by a couple of dozen. So this is the next best option, I think. We're like the John West of podcasting. It's the riffs that Spix and Spex reject that make Little Dumb Dumb Club the best. Yes.

Well, I mean, it is the golden age of broadcast television. So more people are watching broadcast television than ever before. Your numbers would be up there, wouldn't they? Surely? But you'd give Spicks and Specks a run. You should do a show of Spicks and Specks at the same time. That'll get you fired.

What are you talking about? I don't know, man. You're the first people I've talked to in a while. It's nice to talk to you. Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Last year when they revamped the footy show on Channel 9 and brought it back, when it got axed, it was rating so badly.

The last episode of the footy show had less people watch it than listen to our episode that week. We outrated the footy show, which would have been even sweeter if not for the fact that I was workingrated the footy show. Which would have been even sweeter if not for the fact that I was working on the footy show and was employed on it at the time. And you kept telling Limo that over and over

again. It didn't help your case. Ironically enough, that week's episode that got more viewers or listeners than the footy show, we actually both dressed up as women in that episode, ironically enough. Beating them at their own game. Yeah, you could really hear the lipstick on the show.

It was very funny. Danielle, can I ask you now? I'm just going to go through a little bit of a list of what I read on your thing. Because you've got so many fucked up stories about your family, which I love because I'm the one that comes on the show and has fucked up stories. And then Tommy goes, are these stories made up? And they're not made up. I just walk around and I've got a mental case radar.

So your family stories are the best. case radar yeah so you but your your family stories are the best there you're can you tell us about your how your granddad influenced your learning when you were growing up yeah he so i had to call him every night as a child um and recite the alphabet to him um because he taught me the alphabet um and okay so hang on, hang on, hang on. There's already a fair bit there. There's already a fair bit there. So you had to ring him up and it was a nightly alphabet call. So did you go to school?

This is before school. This is like four. I was like four. So it was before preschool. Oh, my God. And I'd call him up every night um he'd written the alphabet out so it was on my wall and um i'd get better and better at reading it and then eventually i could just say the alphabet and i was like so good i felt so great that i rocked up at like preschool day one

and um the teacher's like all right everybody we're gonna try and say our alphabet. And everybody in the class started saying theirs and I started saying mine. And mine was Z-Y-X-W-V-U-T-S-R-Q-P-O-N-M-L-K-J-I-H-G-F-E-D-C-B-A. So just one small question, Danielle. Did you grow up in a Paul Jennings novel, by the way? Honestly, very similar. It really is a Paul Jennings novel. I've heard you talk about your family, and Paul Jennings is a perfect, it really is out of that, unreal.

Did you, so you turned up to school, and did the other kids laugh at the fact that you had been, I assume, deliberately taught by your granddad to say the alphabet backwards? I don't think any, like, because they, I don't think, I think they just thought I got it wrong, the other kids. The teacher obviously knew. You just got one little thing wrong. They thought, correct, you did get it wrong. You did get it wrong. Well, no, I didn't.

No, she said the alphabet. I got all the letters in there. Yeah, wrong. Well, no, I didn't. No, she said the alphabet. I got all the letters in there. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. That is pretty funny. That is pretty funny that you've got the alphabet and it's not even alphabetized. It's exactly perfectly wrong.

That's what they named alphabetized after. Yeah. Yeah, they really fucked it up. What's happened here? You just had it jumbled or what happened? I guess, no, that's completely, it's just backwards. It's correct, but backwards. I think that...

And props to you for still remembering it. So your granddad's abuse has stuck with you over 20 years later. So that's a pretty cool trick. It's still my go-to alphabet. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. So when people say,

oh, you wouldn't even know the ABCs of tropical plants, you're like, you wouldn't even know the ZYXs of tropical plants. You could have said that on Specs and Specs. Yes, that would have been perfect. I don't, I think the thing that is weird. He would have loved it. I don't understand why. I don't really understand why.

We would have loved it compared to the next contestant that was talking about coming. I mean, backwards alphabet's a breeze compared to that. M-U-C. I haven't done it again. Oh, yeah. You didn't do that last one. I did. Oh, did you? Yeah, I also did.

Better kick a big one. Yeah. Okay, done. So, yeah, great ep. Great ep. Again, I listened to that clip then and thought, I need to listen to the whole ep. I need to get back into Danielle's other stories.

Again, a lot of these were quite hard to get just one little clip out. You know, it's very, because it all kind of, with this one especially is one of the ones that it all kind of bleeds in where Danielle is basically holding court for the whole episode with some just incredible family stories. And so it's so hard to just pick one out of them. But you also, you know, you want to inspire people to go and listen to the full ep.

So if that's whet your appetite, then definitely go check that out. Oh, go back and listen to Danielle's stories about her granddad in the fridge, in his fridges. So, yeah, like I said, you know, working for Spix and reading these stories about Danielle, it's like she's got, she's just got so many stories. Yes. We've got to prime her up and get her on a live show or something.

Yeah. Soon. Yeah. Get one of these stories out again. And then, yeah, grotty little Ben Russell just in there in the passenger seat, just riding shotgun. Again, the dream position. You've got someone with just mental stories,

and then you get to be a little grub sitting there just chuckling away. Jacking off over it. Yeah, throwing in your dirty little references to semen. Your filthy little bon mots. Yes. Bon mots from Bonmember. Yeah. So, yeah, that was a lot of fun.

Yeah, great fun. Great fun. Great fun episode. Now, look, we're getting deep in the – look, you could say maybe – I mean, I only had a quick think about what would be high up in the charts in the echelon of episodes this year. And I guess, in hindsight, this is what I should have been expecting, I guess, a little bit of these two maybe in the top two positions.

Yeah. Yeah, this makes sense. There's a lot of hubbub around a couple of episodes. Yep. So this next one is the culmination of a saga. Yes. Episode 523 with guests Joshua and Brett Blake. The finale slash reveal of The Masked Pegger.

Now, again, we've got our work cut out for us here for anyone listening to this as their introduction to the show. This was a start of lockdown, me talking about a potential chatter in my relationship about me getting pegged. You then went and got a... You presented me with a dildo. I gave you a present.

You gave me a present that was moulded on the penis of a comedian that had been on the show. Yes. We then had, I think, five weeks worth of clues. Yes. Turned into a mini show called The Mask Pegger. People guessing on. Based on The Mask Singer where there was, look, you got given the dildo,

so you had it in your hand every week. Yep. Running your fingers over it, putting it in your mouth, absolutely sucking on it every week and trying to guess from the taste who it could be. Yep. Plus, I was giving you clues every week. Yes.

So that all culminated in this episode, the final round of clues and the guarantee that you were going to know who it was by the end of this episode. Yes. Now, this was a bumper episode. Again, this was very difficult to know which bit to pick out of it for this clip. Now, I kind of figured maybe anyone who is, this is their introduction to the show. I didn't want to put the reveal because, you know, that's why it's in this list is because it's the reveal. I didn't want to put that moment in this clip because I thought

for anyone fresh who's never heard it, they probably want to, you know, maybe they want to go back and hear the whole saga and kind of play along. I kind of didn't want to spoil it in this episode. And maybe that's not even the funniest bit in it. So, yeah. So this bit at the start, this is us speculating on a bunch of clues that leads into a bit of riffing. Enjoy this clip from, spoiler free, 523, Josh Earle and Brett Blake.

Very exciting stuff. Now, like Tommy said, it is the finale of the Mass Pega. Now, there's a lot of mystery involved. No one knows what's going on at the moment. I mean, it's only the finale of the Mass Pega because Tommy told me it was. He said, this is it. Call it. Let's go. We're doing it. Not in those words. Not in those words. You know, it was like when they announced a new Pope.

I went out onto my balcony. I got a little fire going and I got a towel and some smoke signals up over Hawthorne and you had to be up on your balcony. I was wondering why you were standing up to podcast. It all makes sense. I saw some smoke coming out of Tommy's house and I thought, well, this is just chafing going on. Obviously, it's been done.

It was the deal I made out of wood. He just started a fire in his bum with all the friction. You know how the Pope has the white smoke going up? Tommy's just got ropes, just creamy ropes heading out of the chimney. I'm so excited because now finally I get to see the dildo. Tommy, you've got to show me. It's been killing me. Oh, yeah, come on.

Oh, it's still in there. Yuck. Oh, Tommy, no. Pull it out, Tommy. Is this car the last one because it's still in there. Yuck. Oh, Tommy, no. Pull it out, Tommy. Is this car the last one because it's been used? Is this why it's the finale? Well, that's what we're going to find out, I guess, Josh, because Tommy hasn't told me what's going on.

I have made it pretty clear that I only want to do the finale, and the Masked Pegger himself only wants to do the finale if we know something's happened. Now, we talked about that last week. There needs to be some sort of action happening. And Tommy has said, you know what? Hit the button. Hit the big red button.

We're ready to go for the finale. So I'm assuming we've got some news. We've got something to report on. Fantastic. I can't wait to see how it felt. Tommy, you could have at least fucking washed it, champ. Jesus. It's quite girthy. felt. Tommy, you could have at least fucking washed it, champ. Jesus! It's quite girthy!

Sorry, I used it to spread Nutella onto my toast this morning. I was going to say, that is a telltale sign. Last week it was pink and now it's completely brown. Okay, alright. It's not completely brown. There's a bit of red on it too. Have you been eating beetroot, Tommy?

Well, we don't know if Tommy's used it on his. We need to dust for arse prints just to make sure that he's the one that's actually used it. Arseholes like fingerprints. Everyone's got their own distinct arsehole. Has it got a GoPro in the eye of the penis and you get to see the full... Yeah, because people are like trees, aren't they? You look at how many rings are in the arsehole and that's how old someone is.

That's a real Ancestry.com dildo. Yeah, right. You can find out a lot from it. Going to the doctor, I've forgotten my age. Can you just take a look up there? No, that's you trying to get into a nightclub at 17. Have you got any ID? Well, yes, I do.

Zip. But, yeah, you two guys, Josh and Brett, very popular guesses across social media, across the people listening to this, across one of the hosts of the show. Well, I didn't know there was anything up or what was even going because I've fallen out of the pod for a little bit because I was working. Oh, not a true fan.

Yeah, not a true fan. Sorry, guys. You got me. But then I got a message on my phone saying, are you circumcised from a random person? And I was like, ah, the boys are up to something. a random person and I was like, ah, the boys are up to something. And so are you, Brett? I actually am.

So this is... Right, interesting. When I listened to the episode, I actually rang you straight away going, did I do this? Are your parents old? I mean, yeah. I mean, how old? Like, they're 60. They're older than Brett. Yeah. Are they older than 70? mean, yeah, I mean, how old's up? Like, they're 60. They're older than Brett.

Yeah, they're older than me, yeah. Are they older than 70? No, no. Okay. I find it weird that people who are younger than me are circumcised, because it was a real generational thing where they went, no, we're not going to do this anymore. Yeah, you know what?

I'm learning about that too, Josh, because I never thought about it. I mean, I am, and I just sort of assumed that everyone is. But now, you know, this whole thing has brought up, oh, is this like a fashion thing? Or are we going to, you know, is everyone not circumcised for a while? Is it like sideburns? Does it go in and out of fashion? Or what is it? Technically, I'm not circumcised.

I just wank seven times a day, so I've burnt it off. Right. Right, right, right, right. See, I'm not. And no one in my year, there was like two guys who were, but the rest of us were not because we had like the big open plan showers and after PE you had to have a shower no matter what you did. I remember we did like a unit on like ballroom dancing or bush dancing.

It's like, all right, boys, go and have a shower. I'm like, what do we have to shower for? No one's sweating. Sounds like you're a creepy teacher. You're just doing math. It's like, hit the shower, boys. Come on. Yeah, yeah. No, no, you look all sweaty. Get in like, what do we have to shower for? No one's sweating. Sounds like you've got a creepy teacher. You're just doing math. He's like, hit the shower, boys. Come on. Yeah, yeah. No, no. You look all sweaty. Get in there, boys.

No. Fucking science is hard. Get your lid off. Show us your dick. But see, I'm 39. My brother's 42. He is and I'm not. Oh. Oh. You missed the cut off, literally. I remember asking my mum. I remember asking my mum. I remember asking my mum about it.

So how come he is and I'm not? And she goes, oh, well, she got pressured to do it for my older brother. But for me, she was like, oh, it was more custom that you didn't do it then. Right. Okay. Mine was the medical thing. Like, I think, like, why am I telling you this? Well, you hope they all are, Brett.

They're not just... No, mine was shits and giggles. It was a laugh. Everyone came around. Dad got out the whippersnapper. Put some firecrackers up there. Dad got the whippersnapper out. Hilarious.

You shoved it in a bush chook and it just took it off. Apparently, it's a thing like one in four boys, the skin doesn't keep growing with the dick or something, so they just had to cut it off. So it was it. My hog was getting too big for it. Were you a bit older then? Yeah, I was like 13.

Oh, yeah, okay. What? Yeah, I remember it. I remember being like that. My mum got me a wheelchair and shit because I couldn't walk. No, no, no. Really? Because your hog was so big you couldn't walk.

Yeah. That is so funny. That's so funny that you're being pushed along in a wheelchair and someone's like, oh, what happened? Broken leg? Broken foot? No, someone chopped the end off my dick. Yeah.

Are you still using disabled parking for that reason? Yes. Nice little spot out the front of 7-Eleven, just like had a bit chopped off my dick 20 years ago. That's great. That's great if you're like, I actually identify as a cripple now, thanks to that. I am technically disabled.

I'm in the Special Olympics. Just rinsing people with one leg, going, yeah, boys, I'm one of you. No, no, you'll see me in the shower later. You're like, is that Josh Dills' team trying to get us to go back in again? I'm in the Special Olympics. I wanted to go in the three-legged race But not anymore I don't qualify anymore Unfortunately Fuck

That's so funny At 13 At 13 Yeah I remember Because it was like It was just before like New Year's And then the night of New Year's We always had fireworks

And like a A lamp on us Yeah pardon This happened on Christmas Yeah around Christmas Just before New Year's It's Christmas Oh no on New Year's Eve

They counted down the knife going down to chop off his dick. Five, four, three, two, one. No, it's Brett getting it done on the 25th of December going, God, I would have taken coal in the stocking over this.

Jesus fucking Christ. No, it's him getting it cut off and then him returning it on Boxing Day down at Meyer. I thought at Christmas you were meant to get something, not lose something. Anyway. So you're 13.

How is this pitched to you as a 13-year-old? Because surely you would have just gone, get fucked, I'm not doing this. But also, you have to go to your parents and say, hey, there's something wrong. It's too big. Right. Or not big enough in your case. Yeah, it wasn't too big or not big enough in your case yeah it was a little doodle no I just

the skin bit wouldn't fucking pull back anymore and I nearly got to the stage where it was completely closed over and I was like this isn't normal and then yeah I think it was like obviously a couple days after Christmas because I just remember being in the wheelchair at New Year's

just like zooming down a hill. And then I'd hit like a speed bump. I remember my dick hurting. I was like, ah. Oh my God. Yeah. We're in rules.

So I want to go back to it. Where's your party at? Just like in the street, rolling over speed bumps. What party is this? Forestville and Pratt's a different world. So Brett, did you, did you go to confront your mum or your dad at 13? Because 13 is a weird age to be talking about your penis to your parents.

I think I told my brother and he just laughed. And then I was like, that's not good. And then I think it was still at the mum stage. You know, you're more comfortable around mum. But she's like, I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't have one of these. Oh, you know, mum's, you know, mum's more, you're more comfortable around mum. But she's like, I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't have one of these. Oh, great.

Yeah. Great. That's so funny that you, at some stage, you were like, once it closed up, it's like, oh man,

I'm really packing a hog here. No, it's just full of piss. I can't get it out. Mum's just really impressed. She's like, wow, you're not like your father at all. Mum, check out my big big dick Try and peel it back

And just say a Kraft single there It's just so nice You had the most buoyant Penis of all time Before that Just had a big old show If anything it does look Like that dildo

Fuck that is so That is so fucking disturbing So you've been You've have you both been hit up? There's a lot of inquisitive listeners out there that I hear are hitting up guests and just thinking, I know how to find out. I'll just ask them and then they'll immediately confess. Scooby and the gang in the mystery machine have had a big fucking few weeks. Is it you?

Oh, you asked a special question. Yes, it is. You've cracked the code. Or the chode. No, but people hit me up publicly. Just like, I'd post something absolutely nothing to do with it, and they'd go, are you the masked pegger? And I'm like,

why would I just say it here? It's just people driving past. You look like you pegged. You're like, no, it's not me, guys. It's getting more and more like that. I'm getting messages like saying, just tell me who is it. Is it this person or that person? But then I look at the message before that they've sent me.

It's like, yeah, you're a cunt. Your podcast is shit. I'm like, oh, yeah, no worries. As long as we're mates, I'll give you the info. Wait it out, me car. Yeah. You should have done it to just one of them, just at random. Yeah.

You just reply to someone with the right answer. It's like, you know that rumour about, like, that Bill Murray just goes around the streets going up to people in New York going, no one will ever believe you. It's just a bit of that. And then those people would get in the group going, he told me. He told me who it is. And everyone's like, yeah, right on, psycho, as if.

I should have done that. I should have done that. I should have done that with like about 10 different people. Yeah. 10 different names. Everyone thinks they've got the scoop. It's like when Carly Simon auctioned off who You're So Vain's actually about. You should have done that. You should have said, right, if you want to know beforehand,

it goes to the highest bidder. Yeah, that's right. Fuck. Well, you know, we can do that today after this episode has gone up. We'll have a good, the three of us will have a good 48 hours where we can just cash in. Oh yeah, that's right.

I can make a bit of money off this podcast. Sorry, I'm just replying to the guy who asked if I was circumcised. How much cash have you got, Tom? Yeah. What I am liking about your listeners as well is just who they think it might be like some of the names is it's wild who they think it is i love glenn robbins was today i absolutely glenn robbins i'm like yes if you've ever met

glenn robbins he's the type of man who would do this for another person's podcast like it's it's i love that they're picking people that we can't even get their their faces on the podcast let alone their penises on the podcast i don't know what you're talking about guys i reckon it's definitely tim and eric i reckon there's some real smart cookies out there and they've blown it wide open on the other side of the thing it's actually been brutal listening to this podcast the last week because you really get to find out what your mates think of you like um it's gonna be someone who's a dumb fucking idiot with no self-respect and you're like oh yeah it's

definitely fucking brett you're like oh thanks a lot you fucking can't great great um now you've been um you know you're're both red hot favourites, to be honest. We thought it would be some good guests to get on that a lot of people have chosen. It could be one of you guys that has outed in the next half an hour or so. Now, Josh, you were saying that you were a little bit worried about what other people were thinking of you. Well, I wasn't so much, but my wife was very worried because I was telling her all about it. I was saying it's really funny because I listen to the podcast

and I'm washing up and I'm laughing. She's like, what are you laughing about? So I told her and she's like, are they going to get in trouble? And I'm like, no, no. And then when Little said, oh, I think it's Josh, she's like, are you going to get in trouble? Are you going to lose work because of this? I'm like, well, there's no work going, okay?

You might... You need a fan from your own podcast? This could be a new thing that I could do. This could be some great merch for me. I can sell it at the end of shows. If people want to date like Tommy's, just here you go. Because I've also, during this lockdown, set up a

kid's Instagram page with all my kids' stuff. She's like, are you going to get, like, are they going to find out it's you and then you're going to get all this stuff taken off you, you're going to be, like, on some register? I'm like, it's going to be fine, okay? It's going to be fine. Just animate the dildo. Kids love that shit.

You know what I mean? It's not as entertaining. It's like jumping into a little brown hole. It'll be exciting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Put a pair of eyes on it and it's fine.

The kids don't know what it is. Were you getting hit up on that account too, Josh? Six-year-olds sliding into the DMs of that account going, is it you, Mr. Josh? Are you Donast Pega? Goo Goo Gaga, is this your dick? Are you circumcised, Mr. Earl? And they've done it again.

No, but he kicked me once. Blake, you didn't turn his mic on. Does it sound shit? I never listened to this bit. It sounds so shit. Fuck. It sounds really shit. Fucking idiot.

And that was true. This wasn't, I guess this was still, lockdown ended not all that long after that, you know, because we did, for all the talk before of like worrying about people, you know, are we going to get a botched recording from this person? Felt like we really got lucky there for a bit. Yeah.

But the luck had to run out eventually. Yeah. Daniel Sloss and Brett Blake really fucked our perfect record. Oh, yeah. God, right. Yeah. Yeah. It didn't matter how many times you told your guests,

look, we really need this as a pristine recording, and you know how to turn a mic on, you know how to record it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't mean talking to your computer monitor. Yes. Oh, then I don't know what you mean. Yeah, oh, this Milo tin isn't going to do a good enough job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, there's a little highlight for you from the Masked Pega finale,

and again, if you are new to this, you can go back to, But yeah, there's a little highlight for you from the Masked Pega finale. And again, if you are new to this, you can go back to... It's five episodes before that with Dave Thornton and Greg Larson and hear the beginning of the saga. Yeah. And hear it all unfold over the next five episodes. Yeah, it's a nice little... People got very excited through it, so it's a nice little storyline. Very fun.

Fun times. And the end of it is that that dildo then got auctioned off for charity. To someone who desperately wanted to remain anonymous. Begged to be kept anonymous. Yes, and raised enough money to give to charity, and not enough money to cover the fact that the cost of the actual dildo itself. Yes.

Once the idiot behind it made about five of them. Yes. Finally got one right. And, you know, not enough to get really any kind of reply from the charity that it went to when you emailed them and told them what had gone on. Yeah. At the very least, it's like, oh, this is strange. Yeah.

Thanks for sending us that story. Or at the very least, thank you. Yes. Yes. Yeah. But speaking of thank yous, thank you to everyone who voted. We are now at – Good to be on the socials.

Get on our Facebook page. We've got a couple of different little groups on Facebook. People are aware of Little Dum Dum Club and stuff like that. Then we're on Twitter, we're on Instagram. We're always trying to put content up and stuff like that every day. So follow along. and stuff like that. Then there's, we're on Twitter, we're on Instagram. We're always trying to put content up and stuff like that every day. So, follow along. You get little things,

like you get to find out when live shows are on sale. You get to vote in little things like that. So, it's all a bit of fun. Get onto that. Yep. Yep.

Voting for the Masked Pegger episode brings a whole new meaning to the term democracy sausage. Yeah, God, I miss comedy. But, we are now at the number one clip of 2020, the number one episode as voted by you, the public.

This was the 10th year of the Little Dum Dum Club. And so we put out a 10-year anniversary episode in October, coinciding with the date that we did the first ever episode. It was a bumper episode. Episode number what? Episode number, give me one second. I'll write that down. 526.

Right, nice. The 10th anniversary episode. So what, we have 15, 16 guests or something? It was like a huge three-hour show or something like that? Yep. Crazy times. Packed in as many guests as we could. Yep.

A bunch of people that we've already named on episodes right within this show. Yep. And definitely, again, this was another one very difficult to know which clip to put in, how to clip this out. Because people have voted for the ep because, like you said, there's 16 different guests, some of their absolute favorites. Well, it's like, well, this ep has everyone I love on it so it's and it was three hours of all of the greatest hits so yeah of course it's got to be number one yeah like how could it not be my number one vote but then

when you wanting to just play a little 10 minute clip yeah what do you take out yeah no look i think you've picked the right clip here i think i listened back to this and i found this good i mean i didn't remember it as strongly as the other ones, but I mean, look, to be honest, it's got two of our favourite guests on there. When you say that this, like, you couldn't tell that it was recorded on Zoom, I think that's particularly true of this one.

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. It does sound like we were all in the same room. It really does sound like it was. It sounds like a normal one. It sounds like we're talking now. Yeah, exactly. It could have been recorded today. Yeah, if you'd know any better, you'd say it was recorded like a couple of hours like we're talking now. Yeah, exactly. It could have been recorded today. Yeah, if you didn't know any better,

you'd say it was recorded like a couple of hours before we're doing this. Yeah, exactly. But that's if you didn't know any better. If you didn't know any better. Thankfully, we all know better. Yes. So this sounds great. Like I said, I don't super remember.

I mean, you do do a bit of editing. I'm not sure if you even kept this bit in the final cut, but I'm not sure. I just can't remember in the final cut, but I'm not sure. I just can't remember. Yeah. It doesn't, it doesn't really ring a bell. The number one clip,

a deleted scene from the episode that you all voted for. It just doesn't ring a bell. But anyway. Cause I, yeah, cause it was a bit like, well, what do you do?

You know, you've only got 10 minutes here. What am I, what am I going to do a super cut and take 30 seconds out of each one? No. So we had to, I messaged you about it and we took out, we thought it made the most sense.

We took out this clip, Nick Cody and Will Anderson. Yes. Because Nick Cody was the very first guest on the first episode. He's in the 10-year episode with Will. Again, Will has been on this. Just this made the most sense to include as the clip. Yeah, right. So this is a clip and it's right from the start of the conversation.

Yeah. So that's great. Yeah, it's, again, it doesn't ring a bell. Anyway, whatever. I don't listen to a lot of them anyway, I guess. But anyway. Yeah, look, very funny clip. And a great big bit of news, a big announcement with it as well.

So very exciting. So here we go. Your number one from the 10-year anniversary episode. This is Nick Cody and Will Anderson. All right, and joining us now, we have Nick Cody and Will Anderson. Yeah. Now, pipe down, Will, for a second.

We want to ask Cody something. Yeah, Will's got his hand up in the Zoom window. If you can just keep it to yourself for a few seconds. Let's just pop him on mute for a minute. Yeah, yeah, just mute. No worries, no worries. Sorry about that, Will, but anyway. No offence. to yourself for a few seconds. Let's just pop him on mute for a minute. Yeah, yeah, just mute. No worries, no worries. Sorry about that, Will, but anyway. No offence. Nick's got a big thing. Only people who

currently work on Breakfast Radio the guests can talk now, Will. He's waving his fist at us over Zoom. We can see the lips moving and he's teeing off with some great zingers, but yep, I'm not going to put this bit of the track in the episode, so no one's going to hear it. So, hang on, either we've got him on mute

or someone's actually knocked down one of the 5G towers up there in Byron Bay. So that might have happened, actually. Wait, wait, I can hear something coming through the back of his microphone, the person who knocked over that 5G tower. This isn't as great as giving people the coronavirus. Hang on, so we've got Will on mute, but we can hear someone behind us. He likes to capture the room noise.

So he always has a second mic set up in the room to capture the creaks and the ambient noise. So that's picking up that. I'm going to leave that in there. Well, he's a professional. That's why we treat him with respect when he's good enough to come in. 5G makes me angry. All right. So, Cody me angry. All right, all right. So, Cody, sorry.

So, Cody, yeah, we've heard you've got this big announcement. A lot of stuff's happening for you lately, and this is yet another big thing. Yeah, it's amazing. It seems weird, but the king of the air is finally... I've been offered an ambassadorship with Jetstar. Wow. Wow, great.

Thank you. That's not too bad. That's not too bad. Jetstar. Wow. Great. Wow, great. Thank you. That's not too bad. That's not too bad. That's okay. Jetstar's fantastic. Yes, great, great. Well, Tiger's gone. Yep.

Virgin's pretty much carked it. Yep, yep. Qantas are doing whatever. Yep. Jetstar's the future. Yes. But I've been picked just for a very specific bit of the plane. Because, you know, like Qantas are Virgin.

Very. Business class. La-di-da. Yeah. Right up your alley usually. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. I love a bit in the plane. Because, you know, like Qantas of Virgin, business class. Very la-di-da, yeah. Right up your alley, usually, yeah. Yeah, normally, I love it. I love a bit in the sky, you know. Posting selfies with you, doing the soy boy face.

Yeah, with no one around me. That's what I like. Don't be near my elbows, right? But that was old me. That was old me. That was pre-coronavirus Cody. Okay, so I get it. I think I'm figuring this out.

So you were always up the front of the plane on those planes. So you're going to be up the front of the plane on Jetstar. This is the new angle, is it? No, it's actually quite the opposite. I'm down the back of the Jetstar plane. Oh, so you're a cool kid, like up the back of the bus. Yeah, exactly. Like Rosa Parks.

Gangster. Jetstar Greek style, I think they're calling it. Because what I realised, what coronavirus made me realise is that I actually missed human interaction. Yeah, yeah. If you've ever sat in business class before, you look around, you go, oh, God, I can't chat to them. They're so far away.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're screaming over the jet engines to be heard. Are you headed home or for business? What do you do for a job? I'm yelling and they can't hear me. And you've got your mouth full of nice chocolates and champagne and stuff like that. Terry's chocolate orange. I'm gargling champagne.

Sounding like Badgerin normally. So what they've done, they've hired me to be an ambassador. It's Jetstar, the last three rows. The last three rows. Right. So it's last class instead of first class. Last class. Right.

Yeah. Dodgy business class. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, right. They've used this incredible technology where they've made every seat feel like the middle seat. Right. That's cool. You know, normally on the aisle, right, if you're in the aisle, you've got that room,

but now they've got this sort of V-shaped armrest so you can't put your arm down properly, so you're still squished. Yeah, I saw a story about this. They bought a bunch of those boyfriend pillows from Japan and kind of cut them in half and stuck them in the aisle. I had a quick skim over the press release, and they've got the armrest, but in the middle of the seat, so you're actually sitting on it the whole time.

Right, it's up your arse the entire flight. No, it's like what a lot of cities around the world do to stop homeless people sleeping on the benches they've got those bolts

they put the bolts in the seat so you're not quite sorry that we're laughing at this great new job you have and new entrepreneurship

we're happy for Cody right right yeah yeah it's the best that's how homeless people can fly from now on in case they're missing the ground. In case they start getting spooked

about being that far up in the air, they can feel a bit of home right up there. Disrespected and, yeah, like the owners don't want them there at all. They can be up the back asking for 20 cents as people go to the toilet.

Well, it's funny you actually bring up 20 cents because the tagline for this is, have you bought a flight with us before for a dollar? Well, cut your fucking la-di-da attitude, right? Get the silver spoon out of your ass and cop on these. Put some heroin on it and put the lighter underneath it. Cook it up. These are 20 cent fares.

All right, is that you in the ad? It's like you, on your face, you're like, check out what we're cooking up, and then the camera pans down, and in your hand, you've got the spoon with the lighter underneath. You go up to the Jetstar last class, sort of, what do you call it? The desk or whatever. The desk.

And you come up there with a dollar coin. Can I get a dollar's worth of mixed fares, please? Yeah. And you can get five flights. Yeah, normally um with flight normally you turn up to the airport with your luggage

but if you sit down the back at Jetstar they just give you a random bag you have to take and hope at the other end a beagle doesn't bark at you I'm just reading

the press release again some more details here there's no carry on limits you can bring on as much as you want but it has to be in one of those red white and blue

big laundry bags that's got a tear in it That's got a tear in it. That's got a tear in it. With some electrical tape. Go as many as you want in there. I'm watching a video here of the first flight that they did with these fares and it was quite great. They got you as the ambassador, Cody, as the plane was coming down the runway.

You just stopped it with a squeegee and climbed up, pouring some filthy water out of a Gatorade bottle onto the front of the plane. And you don't have any shirt or any shoes on as well. That was cool. That's incredible. And if you've ever seen the Jetstar ads before, they jump up, there's heaps of people jumping, making a star.

And that's the pain. Like when you sit down on this seat, you'll go, fuck, and you sort of jump up. I thought it was just like a lot of people on ice doing that but anyway yeah and also generally from melbourne people generally leave from telemarine but this on the ad i saw that that plane left from punt road which was weird as well there is a fair bit of taxi you go fuck me i actually caught a cab from richmond and now the plane's going back this way but it is it is a good it is a nice little niche market they're going for. For people that think

that the Jetstar is too la-di-da for budget travellers, they say even like those last three rows, it's like a, they said it's like the hostel of the air.

Yeah. So, yeah, if you miss being really crammed in on four people per bunk, this is the experience you're going to have. Yeah, and that's the thing.

If you have a look at your ticket and go, hold on, I'm in 29C1. What does that mean? It means you're actually on the top seat. It is bunk seating.

So you're quite squashed. The overhead locker is also a seat. So if you're in 29C1, get up there. Yeah. If you want to feel like you're in the cargo hold of a boat that's heading over to try and catch King Kong, the experience you can have will just cramp you. Also, I think that to's, that to me,

that's how I want to trust my life. If I'm going like 10,000 feet in the air, I want to be classified by going from a number to a letter then back to a number for some reason. I want to be classified as livestock once I'm in the air. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want all my rights. I want to be flora or fauna. I want to be in a seat that some people go, no, no, no, my dog's not sitting in there for eight hours. Yeah, I want to be there. Cody, will these flights be leaving from one of the existing terminals at Melbourne or will

they be at Melbourne Airport or will there be a new terminal for these flights? It's actually just the Skybus has got wings on it now. They put a ramp and the Skybus just jumps off. And while we're ramming people in here the last three rows at Jetstar, they heard how popular weighted blankets have become for anxious people.

So if you're anxious of flying, what about a 96-kilo blanket? Right, right. Called Steve. There you go. You'll be nice and relaxed. Yeah, great, great. Will's nodding. Yeah, he loves that.

I mean, we're having a lot of fun with this. One can only imagine what a great comedic mind like Will Anderson would have to say. Relaxed. Yeah, great, great. Will's nodding. Yeah, he loves that. I mean, we're having a lot of fun with this. One can only imagine what a great comedic mind like Will Anderson would have to say. He's giving us a thumbs up. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, great. I think he looks pretty content. Like, the listeners might feel like they're missing out, but he seems to be saying to us through the Zoom window,

boys, you've got it absolutely covered. There's nothing that I'd add to this. Every time we say something, he gives us a thumbs up as if to say, that's what I would have said too. So there's no use putting him back on and turning the mute off. He's holding up a post-it note that says, I've been comfortable on every flight I've ever been on. No troubles here.

He's never had any issue on a flight. That's good. Probably go get yourself a cup of coffee or something if you want, Will. You've got a bit of time to kill. Well, get one because you won't get one in my Jetstar business section. Oh, yeah, right. Is there any in-flight entertainment options or food? Jetstar's notoriously, you don't get too much without having to pay for it.

So, is it getting any better up the back? Is it getting any better with Jetstar worst class? Well, the in-flight entertainment, like when I hand over my boarding pass and I ask them, what is the in-flight entertainment today? And when i hand over my boarding pass and i ask them what is the in-flight entertainment today they said how old are you mr cody and i said 33 and they said that's a lot of years of memories to reflect on so i'm just gonna think about my life as if you can't fill an hour with memories yeah playing catch with your dad people are like when you land oh see any good stuff on the plane? You're like, you betcha. Lost my virginity.

And while you're in between four people on top of you, you know, having nice vivid dreams of killing yourself. There you go. Thoughts of the future. Memories of the past, thoughts of the future. Great. Jetstar. Get amongst it. It's like a real Matrix class

up there back there, isn't it? It really is. 20 cents now sounds pretty good, doesn't it? You guys thought there was a catch, but there wasn't. It's like a real Matrix class. It really is. I can't stress. 20 cents now sounds pretty good, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys thought there was a catch, but there wasn't. There's opportunities. I'm still waiting for it. Yeah, I haven't booked my flights for our Perth live show yet. I might get on this.

It sounds great. Four hours of this sounds like a fucking dream. It's very rare that you and five guests can all be in the same row. Yeah, you're right. So there you go. You can all hang out beforehand. Good way to brainstorm ideas for the live pod. It'll be a good writer's room.

Good session. Great. And what about, yeah, what about like food and drink? Are we getting anything? Yeah, like Carl said, you've got to pay for that traditionally. But are there different options maybe? Well, what I recommend, I don't know if you've ever seen The Good, The Bad and The Hungry, which is the 30 for 30 doco

about the competitive eaters. What they do, they do this thing, there's like Kobayashi. And then there was the American guy, fuck, I forget his name. He's like rival. Joey Chestnut. Yeah.

So what they do like beforehand is they'll drink heaps of water in the lead up to sort of stretch their stomach. Then on the day they eat heaps. So what we recommend

at Jetstar is you stretch your stomach a few days before. Then the day before you eat heaps. Right. And then you won't be hungry on the plane. Right, right.

They won't offer anything. Right, right. Jetstar provides that to you, free water. As much food and drink as you can get in you beforehand, you can bring on board. Right. They won't make you get rid of any food that's already inside your body. No forced shit.

That's nice. We will not force you to shit. That's nice. That's up to you. You shit when you want to shit. Tiger used to do that. They'd give you a laxative right before you got on board, pull up a little port-a-potty at the gate and make you just go for it.

If you can stick a bottle of water up your arsehole, you can keep it there. That's yours. Yeah. Good on you. Good on you for trying. Yeah, yeah. That's nice instead of taking that out and making you lose a dollar on that Mount Franklin bottle of water.

Yeah, yeah, great. That's fantastic. What's the... Because I know this is... These sorts of things tend to get rolled out incrementally. Yeah. What routes are they starting this on? What are some of the first fares you do?

Well, the first one is... You can leave from Melbourne, surely. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So it's Melbourne to Avalon. Yeah. Right, right, right. Like over Christmas, it's very busy for people going down to the lawn from Melbourne. Well, people who have plenty of family that live at Avalon. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, right. Like over Christmas, it's very busy for people going down to the lawn from Melbourne.

Well, people have plenty of family that live at Avalon. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's massive. I can't be fucked driving to near Geelong. Yeah. I may as well drive out to Tullamore. To a very popular spot out there.

They live next to an airport in the middle of nowhere. You ever had that chat with a mate who, I just moved to Lara. You go, well, I'll never see you again. Yeah. Wrong. Now, Genstar fly direct Melbourne to Avalon. I work with the Oportos at Avalon. Oh, I might come and see you over Christmas.

Yeah. I might have a Christmas day out there. I sleep out the back. Oporto in Australia is a lot like KFC in Japan. Very popular on Christmas Day. People love it. You're having a family get-together. You all fly into Avalon all together.

One day of the year, they put cranberry sauce on the big Bondi. Well, Cody, this sounds fantastic. Congratulations. Thank you for rolling out the news here. Thank you. Just showing that this is a legitimate news source to promote things. Listen up, Avalanches, you fucking cunts.

Thank you for picking here to bring it all up. I'm so excited. They will actually give you a phone to use. It's the Samsung Galaxy Note 8. Everyone gets one of those and you just watch whatever you want. It sounds like you can make your own entertainment once again.

I can't wait for this story to get picked up by Reuters or however you pronounce that. It's a verified source of news. That's the Australian verified news distributor. All right. Well, yeah, thanks, Cody. And hey, thanks, Will. Thanks for very graciously ceding your time to someone

with a big bombshell news story to drop on us. And, of course, let's unmute him now and pick up with a conversation that we wanted to ask him about. Wow, and they've done it again. Burn a big one. Yeah, hey, great bit of news there. Well, I mean, it's not news. This is from an episode from like four months ago. I'm sorry.

My head's still in the – it feels like it was only today that we recorded that. That's all. No, no. This is back in October. Of course. Hey, it's old news. I mean, it's a bit embarrassing people listening to that just then as if it's breaking news, but it's been out in the world for fucking ages now.

That's it. That's it. Probably people have switched off by now because they're like, I don't need to. This was exciting when we heard it at the time. We don't need to hear this again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we don't need to hear Will banging on like that again. Yes, yes.

But we just heard him a month or two ago. So, yeah. No need for that. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, look, fun little bit there. Look forward to seeing the ads on TV and whatever. Sounds like a great initiative. Yeah.

Very keen to fly Jetstar worst class. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. No, it sounds great. And a very fitting job for Nick Cody who doesn't care how he flies. Not fussy. No.

No. Yeah. You can see why they went to him. Old Nick, I don't care How it goes in the plane As long as I get there Yeah Cody

Shoot me out of a catapult Yeah That'll do me Fuck me up the ass As long as I get to Albury Wodonga Yeah Fuck me up the ass

Hope to build up some pressure And then launch me off your dick Into the air And that's how I'll get to Where I'm going Yep Yep Cody

Yeah A to B With a dick up my ass In the middle of it who cares yep yep that's what he always says uh so that is the top five of 2020 thanks everyone who voted thanks everyone for listening this year thanks everyone who supports the show comes to a gig yep thanks thanks everyone thanks for thanks to everyone who's sitting around this weekend

playing this, doing one of those classic top five dum-dum club parties that everyone holds around the corner, around the country,

I mean. Thanks to Sportsbet who put odds every year on what episode's going to come in at number one. Hope if anyone

had that episode on long odds, hope you cleaned up. And of course, you know, everyone's very happy. Everyone's extra happy when there's an Australian

number one. Yes. Yes. So it's great that we could get an Aussie at number one this year. Yep. Yep.

Shout out to everyone who doesn't play this show until Australia Day and sits around and has a few beers and has a barbecue and plays this thing. Yep.

Tune in next week when we'll be counting down from six to 52, doing all the other episodes and where they ranked. Oh, let's find out what the worst episode of the year was. That's good. That's actually good. Yeah. If we do that and just talk about why we think everyone hated these episodes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fuck, that's brutal. Yeah. All right, guys. Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you enjoyed this year. Thank you for coming on this journey with us. We will see you in 2021 for more escapades. We've got the first step of 2021 in the can, actually.

So that feels good. No talking dum-dum this week. The boys have taken a week off. Yeah, they've gone on holidays. Yeah, yeah. Must be nice. Yeah, yeah the can, actually. So that feels good. Yes. No talking dumb-dumb this week. The boys have taken a week off. Yeah, they've gone on holidays. Yeah, yeah. Must be nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, guys.

Thanks very much for listening, and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.