The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 553 - Greg Larsen & Danielle Walker

Episode Date: May 5, 2021

We're back in the studio this week with GREG LARSEN and DANIELLE WALKER. We hear about Karl's childhood family holiday to Queensland and Greg reminisces about some now defunct Brisbane theme parks. But of course, the main event is diving into even more of Danielle's crazy family history: today's set list is: Rooster, Snout, and Warts, so brace yourselves! And as if all of that wasn't disgusting enough, we also do a live taste-test of the Yumbo! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Greg Larson and Danny Walker. Big announcement up the top, we have a last minute live show happening in Sydney, Saturday, May the 15th, 8.45pm. Like we said, we've gotten this on sale very quickly. It is coming up very, very fast. So if you are listening to this hot off the presses, get on the website right now and get tickets because it is a week and a half away. That's it. We haven't been to Sydney for nearly two years and we won't go again this year. So this is your chance. Sydney people that have been asking for us to come up, we're coming.

We've got a big theatre to fill. Where is it, Tommy? The Factory Theatre, Saturday, May the 15th. The following afternoon. In Marrickville? In Marrickville, yep. Sorry, Sunday, May the 16th, we are also doing our solo shows back-to-back under the one ticket at the Potts Point Hotel, 3.30pm for that one.

So that is a big weekend of Dum Dum activity. All of those details are on our website. You can get tickets to all of them. We encourage you heartily to get on your skates and get all of those, please. We would love to see full houses at both. Do it quickly. We'll talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dum Dum. But until then, enjoy this new episode with Greg Larson and Danielle Walker.

Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo, and with me, as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day Dickie. Nice to have a nice, a smaller relaxing show after a huge live episode last week. That's right. Pretty overwhelming. Yeah, good to be over in Perth but just a bit worried that I was a bit of a super spreader event there in the live podcast area. Our eight person live show in a hotel room yeah yeah really just flying flying into the most isolated most uh safe city in the world and fucking it up for everyone yeah that's

it i'm rebranding that trip as our white boy summer by the way just so we just so we can feel a bit better about the thousands of dollars down the toilet uh but hey today's a new day we have two great guests with us this week please welcome back in the little dum-dum club, Greg Larson and Daniel Walker. Hello. Thank you. Queenslanders in the house. Oh, yeah. Does this count as a Queensland Life podcast now?

We've got about as many people here watching as we did at the Perth one. Pretty much, yeah. You're from, what, Townsville, isn't it? Yep. Yeah, and I'm from Ipswich, so meet in the middle. We are now live in Rockhampton. Oh, Rockhampton. Finally. It's the Rockhampton. All the Rockhampton listeners this one's for you townsville i've been to townsville that was the first place

i reckon i ever went on holiday as a kid uh you know what we did maybe i've said this on the show before but we got in the the white holden commodore station wagon and we drove for like whatever it was like a week and a bit. Oh, you drove from Melbourne up to Townsville? From Maryborough to Townsville. Good Lord. Yeah. We got two weeks off school, and we drove there as a holiday.

And we're like little kids thinking, oh, we're going to Queensland. It's like, you're not really going to Queensland. You're in the back of a car for two weeks. This is what you are. But what was your view of Queensland at that time? Are the theme parks going at that stage? Yes. So that's what you're thinking?

Yes. Yeah, great. Did you go to the theme parks? Well, we drove past them. No, but you know what it was? I don't think I've ever been a big ride person. I think the same thing as McDonald's back then. Like the idea of McDonald's

to me was great back then as a kid because you're seeing all these flashing colours and whatever. Oh, this is great. But when we would actually go to McDonald's,

I'm like, I guess I'll have the chips. Why? Because I was like, I wasn't really into the burgers or anything like that. I don't know why. What kind of kid doesn't want

a cheeseburger? Well, I don't know. I wasn't into it. burgers or anything like that. What? I don't know why. What kind of kid doesn't want a cheeseburger? Well, I don't know. I wasn't into it. I wasn't into that. You didn't want the toy from the Happy Meal at the very least? I'm not even sure there was Happy Meals when I'm talking about being a real little kid. There's 1950s. Yes.

Yes. They'd give us a bit of wood. When you were a kid and you went there, the Michael Keaton character hadn't gotten involved yet in the business. Oh, no, no. yeah, Ray Kroc. Ray Kroc. It was still just the two brothers when Chandler was 10 years old. I was in Arkansas getting a cheeseburger for five cents.

Well, speaking of this, we were talking last week about... Oh, I haven't finished. Oh, sorry, sorry. I wasn't talking about this theme park, so you went past the theme park. Yeah, yeah, so you know what I did? I thought the end of the story was I got chips, the end. That's how most Chandler stories end. No, no, no.

That's how your stories end. This is mine. Disappointment. So, well, you know this as Queenslanders. So I was like, you know, you go Dreamworld. It's like that had me the name Dreamworld. That'll be good. That sounds good.

Dream and world. Great. Awesome. But then you got close and it was like, oh, you have to do loop-de-loops and all this sort of shit. And it was like, oh, no, I'm'm too scared to do that so then we went to grundy's do you remember grundy's no grundy's was like a ghetto theme park where it was like there's no like roller coasters or anything like that it's like it's just sort of like actually you fucking freaks would actually like this it was more video games and bullshit like that so you just go inside

just sit still and watch other things and it's like, just sit still and watch other things happen. And it's like, okay, I guess we're doing that then. And it was in, it was like, it was a theme park,

but it was like on the third story of a fucking building. Of a shopping centre? Yes. Oh, you're talking about Tops. Well, it was called Grundy's.

Maybe it was called something else. At the Meyer Centre in Brisbane, there's a place called Tops. Do you remember Tops? I thought that was from a dream it felt like a dream it was

and they had like a little they had a dragon I say rollercoaster in quotes it was like you sit in like a dragon I don't know if it would

have been there when you were there but it was like it would just go around it sounds more like a Tops thing than a Grundy's thing I think actually

yeah and it was at the top of the shopping centre in Brisbane the Meyer Centre on the corner of Queen Street Mall. I can't remember the street. Was it near Channel 7 or something?

I remember it being near Channel 7 in Brisbane. Oh, I mean, maybe at the time. Just so Agro could, like, pop in to do a bit of whack-a-mole. Yeah. Well, it must be that, because, like, you wouldn't build two different indoor theme parks in the same town. No.

I reckon it would have changed names. I reckon it would have changed names. I reckon it would have changed names. From Tops to Grundy's. From Grundy's to Tops. Grundy's. Just two great theme park names as well. Because Grundy's operated on their own monetary system. And so for years, Grundy's coins would pop up in loose change, even in Victoria.

You'd have Grundy dollars in there. This is the thing as well. I like the idea like you would never for us for us queenslanders we would never we would never refer to grundy's or tops as a theme park right it's just like a little arcade at the top of a shopping center yeah because it's like movie world and yeah i mean it's not it's it wasn't it wasn't bad i loved it when i went there um but we we had oh man, we used to have Amazons as well. Amazons themed. Did you ever go to Amazons?

No, I just can't believe that this was actually real. I genuinely thought I dreamt of the dragon right at the top of the thing. So did you go to it? Yeah, like now I'm like, obviously, because my dad would always get his Christmas bonus in Maya gift cards. And we'd always go. Townsville didn't have a Maya. You went multiple times and you still thought every one of those times was a trade?

No, I think it was. I think we went once when I was really small and then Cairns got a Maya. Okay. And so we'd go to Cairns instead of Brisbane. Oh, so you'd go there because you couldn't spend your Maya's dollars in your hometown. Yeah. So you'd drive there to go to the theme park. The day in Townsville we a mire, my dad said,

there's no reason to leave. Got everything you could ever want. That's rough of your dad's employer, paying out their Christmas bonus in a currency that they cannot use in the town that he lives in. It was dad's choice because he wouldn't get taxed on it. Here's a thousand bucks in drachma. So your dad chose the mire gift card?

He chose the Maya gift card So he wouldn't get taxed And then we'd go for a trip And mum would buy like Saucepans and towels Wow Yeah Well isn't that a tax

To pay petrol money To fucking drive To another fucking town Yeah Oh but dad had the car as well You know Where you get the fuel and stuff Oh he sold everything

Yeah This guy's a genius This is like Kramer and Newman In that Yeah He's brought in the system Yeah, yeah. This guy's a genius. This is like Kramer and Newman in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's brought in the system. Just by talking about this on the podcast,

he might owe the tax department some money, actually. I'm pretty sure you still have to, like, gifts over a certain amount are taxable anyway, aren't they? I mean, I've got no idea. Answer me this, Tim. Well, to be fair, she thought that this was all happening in a dream before now. That's true, yeah.

We also never went on a family holiday that wasn't for my dad's work. We'd go for a trip with him that would be for a conference, and then we'd just sit in a hotel at a golf resort or something. Yeah, great. And do nothing. Well, that's pretty much what it's like being a comedian. Every time you go, you never go on a holiday. You go somewhere so you can do a gig there.

Yeah. Hey, tell us about it. every time you go you never go on a holiday you go somewhere so you can do a gig there yeah hey tell us about it last week we went to Perth and went into a nice hotel that was booked primarily because of the pool and then we weren't allowed

to use the pool because we were in lockdown brutal so yeah we did so we went to so that was the plan we were going to Cairns the plan was to go to Cairns

and we took so long to get there that we got to Townsville and dad was like fuck it this will do and we took so long to get there that we got to Townsville and Dad was like, fuck it, this'll do. And then we stayed there for like two nights instead of going to Cairns. We were going to go to Cairns and stay there for one

night and then get up in the morning and then just drive home. Wow. And how long is this, like a week of driving or whatever? A week to get there and a week to come home. But it would have been like a week up and a week down means you would have been stopping. Not really. At a few places.

No, no, no. I distinctly remember like driving. Driving overnight. Yeah, because they were doing a thing where they had like a little book. Do you remember the chain called Flag Inn? Vaguely. They were basically motor inns on the side of highways and shit. And so like you collected coupons or you got a stamp on each one or whatever.

So you got like a discount on it each time. So we were just driving all night until we found a fucking flag. And I remember just being little and being like, it's 10 o'clock at night. Are we going to find one of these fucking flaggings? That's what it was. It was just an intense drive up and down with me and my brother in the back of the station wagon.

And maybe a stop or two during the day. I guess it wouldn't have been the good highways that we got now. I remember Goxie saying once that he drove from Brisbane to Melbourne in a single trip. That's psycho. Yeah, and it was like a 20-hour, 21-hour straight. That's like something you read in the paper and the person doing that trip has been doing it

in order to go and kill someone. You know what I mean? It's like, have they had the nappy on? Yeah. It's like, I need vengeance. I can't stop. Yeah. So yeah, what I saw of Townsville under cover of darkness for about three hours, it seemed

like it was all right. Yeah. Yeah. There's not too much going on. No. It's just a beach. Yeah. And that probably wasn't even there when you were there.

Yeah. I didn't see that. Yeah. You weren't impressed enough to ever attempt to go back in the following 40 years though? I'd like to. I did pitch it to my wife and she was like, no, she wasn't interested. I can't see her being into that.

No, no, no. I pitched Cairns and Townsville and it was a big no. No to Cairns? Yep. Okay. Not interested in any way. My favourite thing to do in Townsville is go to the Strand and then go to the water park

on the strand and there's like a massive bucket at the top of the water park that fills up with water and then it pours and it's so heavy that so many kids just get knocked to the ground. Oh right. It's really fun to watch the destruction. I love that. There you go. Repitch it

to your wife. She'll be in. I'm going to reboot the family holiday to Queensland. I've got a kid now. That kid's going to be in the back. We're going to drive for two weeks to see, to get my kid knocked on its own ass. Exactly. 300 kilos of water.

Honestly, I am thinking of like when this podcast ends, getting in my car and just keep on driving. Just go. Get the nappy on. Just get up there. Get the nappy on. Go watch a kid get dunked by a bucket. Fuck, that sounds great.

Well, yeah, last week on the show we were talking about an upcoming comedy gig in Melbourne that's, I don't know if you guys have heard about this, but it's happening inside of a Hungry Jack's or the Hungry Jack's in Southern Coast Station. I've heard about this. I am so excited to see it. Are you going to come?

Are you going to come? Yes, of course I'm going to come. May the 29th. We're pretty pumped. We were dubbing it Yumbo Comedy. Yeah, we've renamed it despite us having

nothing to do with the gig itself. As shorthand, because Greg, are you familiar with this? The Yumbo is back at Hungry Jack's. It's a menu item

that they had 50 years ago. You watched it. 50 years ago. You have a look at it. They had an item called the Yumbo. Yeah.

And we were talking about the Yumbo last week on the podcast and I thought, Greg, you're very similar to us in that you're a bit of a connoisseur of these shit takeaway foods. Let's look at it. Oh, maybe. I've gone and made a little trip before the podcast and I thought we could put our money where our mouth is and do a Yumbo taste test.

Oh, my God. I've just eaten a cabana, but I will get into this. It's the most great sentence I've ever heard. A full cabana? A full cabana. I went to the Preston markets and I was overwhelmed with choices. You were late too. No, but that was not why I was late.

I had plenty of time, but I was overwhelmed with choices. I went, cabana, I'll get a cabana. I just held a cabana in my hand. Like a double stick? You couldn't have been overwhelmed by good choices if you chose a full cabana. You just chowed down on a full cabana. Well, yeah, I went into, I tried to get these Uber Eats,

but they don't have the Yumbo on the Hungry Jack's menu on Uber Eats. What about on DoorDash? No, none of them. I had to drive in. So I went in, and as I was ordering, I thought, you know what, I'll get a little breakfast wrap while I'm here. So I go up and I go, hey, can I get the big breakfast wrap, please? And she goes, oh, no, we've just ended breakfast.

We just haven't changed the menu up there. And I go, oh, okay. Well, in that case, four yumbos, please. What a pivot. What a pivot at 11.30 in the morning. A classic yumbo pivot. Like Greg, just before we walked in, I just said to Danielle, you know what? I'm still eating like it's a comedy festival.

I'm still eating just absolute shit. I feel like I've just been eating meat. This is it. I'm changing. From now on, I can't do it anymore. And now you've pulled out four yumbos. You're telling me that's not a breakfast roll?

Actually, good point. It's a bun, ham and cheese. It was popular on their menu 50 years ago. This is their big thing when you go in there. Was that during the Depression? $3. No, no, no. Caused the Depression. I assume this is supposed to be hot. It's past the time when it's hot now, isn't it?

Maybe. I mean, I got it. I mean, I'm going to be brutally honest right off the bat and describe for the listeners. Yes. This looks like a pile of shit. Yeah, yeah. It looks like something you would make in desperation because all you've got left is some shaved ham and a slice of cheese.

It is. That's all it is. It's a ham and cheese sandwich. It's not particularly, it's not cooked at all, is it? It's like, is it microwave? It's a ham and cheese sandwich. That's it. That's literally it.

It's just a ham and cheese sandwich. To me, you're already in Hungry Jack's, right? You've got, I mean, everything on the menu is quite cheap. Like, this is the cheapest thing, but it's like, if you can't afford the rest of Hungry Jack's and you're in there and you're getting the Yumbo, it's like what's gone wrong? Get a chicken wrap. I was a little bit confused by the whole thing

when we were talking about it last week. And I was like, I don't know the history of the Yumbo. I don't know what – and looking at it, I'm like, why would anyone order this? And then people were putting it up – For a podcast. Well, people were putting it up midweek and saying that it was – it's like there was an article about how like boomers are very excited by it because it was a thing of ages ago.

And now they're like, oh, this is great. You know, get some really engaged on social media. This is great. The yumbo's back. What a great meal it is. And I'm like, is that how it works? And like literally within two hours, my mum rang me and went, oh, you know what? We just, we went for a drive down the beach and we came back and we stopped at Hungry

Jack's and I got a yumbo. Like you have never ever talked to me about fast food before in my entire life. They do not go to McDonald's. They do not go to KFC. They don't do any of this sort of stuff. And then mum rang me just to tell me about the Yumbo. It's so funny that in 1971 they had a product called the Yumbo. It sounds like such a post awesome sauce TikTok kind of term.

The idea of something being called a Yumbo in 1971. The other great thing, the poster for it in the store is like it's back. 1971's hit item, back on the menu. Is it really 1971? Yeah, it's 50 years. They're celebrating 50 years of the Yumbo. That's the year my mum was born. I'll buy one of these for her birthday.

But the poster for it, it's like 1971, it's back. Then the poster for it is all done in 1971, it's back. Then the poster for it is all done in that like 80s type font and colour palette. It's like, what's going on here? This whole thing

is just so confused. Okay, here's my official Yumbo review. You ready for it? Right. Now, look, let's be fair and say that you mightn't have

cleansed your palette from the entire stick of cabana. No, that's true. But I have had some water. You know, I've had a glass of water. I've brushed my teeth since.

Oh, yeah? Yeah, me too. So I feel like, you know. I wanted to go in completely fresh. Yeah. This is not good. Right. And, like, it's not, like,

it's literally a ham and cheese sandwich. Right. I will say, though. It's not. The serving of ham is more generous than I was expecting. Yeah, but it's almost to its detriment. I agree.

It looks like there's too much ham. It's too much. It's not good quality ham. This is just like that crappy pressed ham. It's not even shaved ham. It's like that pressed ham you get in circles. Yeah, the ones in the deli that you look at it and it says ham

almost in quotation marks. And then it's like not ham and from Belgium or whatever. Danielle, I don't want you to feel pressured. You do not have to eat the jumbo if you don't want because you've just been staring at the packet of it for like five minutes

with this look of concern on your face. And also, me and Danielle haven't touched ours yet and Greg's very negative about it yet has nearly completely wrapped it in his teeth. It just looks dry and unflavourful. It is dry and it is unflavourful.

It's just... But it's not like, oh, this tastes disgusting. It's just a ham and cheese on bread. It's a ration is what it is. Yeah, it's ham and cheese on bread. Is this astronaut food? Yeah. It's like, have you ever had a Kraft single and some ham from the deli?

This is exactly what a yumbo is. There's nothing you think... I want it microwaved you don't have a microwave do you yeah have you yeah

can you microwave it up give me a bit of microwave action I reckon it would be nice like almost soggy yeah yeah that's what I

that's what I anticipated what's different in your water there this is like the opposite of um you know this is what Hungry Jack's they probe themselves

on like the flame grilled sort of thing which I assume they just paint on or whatever. But yeah, this looks like the ideal food to be microwaved. Well, in America, there's a lot of places that do like a burger or sandwich that's essentially steamed. How long are you doing? How long have you got it on for? A couple of minutes.

What are you talking about? A couple of minutes? Why would you put in a sandwich for a couple of minutes? 30 seconds is too long. It'll get hard. It'll get that microwave hard. You know when it gets microwave hard? It's going to look soft but the middle is going to be a rock. This is even worse. Tommy's now

I know my microwave. Tommy's now poked his finger in it to make sure in the sandwich that I'm about to eat. This is worse. Put it in there for a couple of minutes. Just don't touch the food. You know you can't get a proper gauge of temperature with your finger. You have to put your dick in it.

Oh, no. Just a little gag. Don't microwave my ass. All right. How long was this in for? This was 30 seconds. Oh, my God. I can't believe this was nearly in there for three minutes.

It's funny the idea that we're like, I wonder what this ham and cheese sandwich would taste like microwaved. What? I wonder if it would. That is, see that's red hot. That's 30 seconds. You're a yumbo, sir.

Yeah, thank you. Thank you. I like my yumbos well done. I'm eating my yumbo rare at the moment. Blood just pouring out. The way Jack wanted to, as Jack would want.

I really, I respect the dedication to preserving the original Yumbo item because any common sense in 2021 would say, chuck a little bit of mayo or some kind of... Shut me. They just have a dry bun, but they're going nut. The boomers are going to go psycho if we don't commit to doing this exactly as it was in 71.

I'm upset with how much this has disgusted me. The look of it, it's not like it's all food that's normal, but it makes me feel like I just get tired. And good for you, I've now bitten into mine, so you're the one person to abstain from the yumbo. I know what it's going to taste like. I've got like a segment of this ham, I'm just going to eat the ham on its own for a second.

Now you understand why I wanted to cut off your Townsville story. I'm like, the yumbos are going off. This ham sucks. Is it better hot? That melted cheese actually makes it look like it's a bit better. How can you fuck something up when you've got hot cheese involved? Absolutely. Well, I've still got a minute and 30 seconds left on the timer of the microwave.

Do you want me to chuck one of yours in, Daniel or Greg? My little crescent moon of a yumbo. You're not going to touch those, are you? No, I'm not. If that's okay. I just feel I can understand what the flavours are going to be. Well, this goes up in four days. If any listeners want Daniel's leftover yumbo, hit us up.

You can have a four-day-old Yumbo. I've got a feeling, by the look of it, it's going to be still good. That was like... Oh, yeah. I had to get it. I was like, I'm getting these in advance of you guys turning up, and then they're going to be sort of sitting around. We'll chat before the pod.

Any other food item, you'd be a bit worried just leaving it sitting there. I was like, no, the Yum like pre yeah pre-degraded oh yeah it comes in the worst and best form it's ever these might have been the original yumbos someone found a box of them from 71 out the back all right let's just chuck it back on the menu my brother tell me if this is psycho my brother would always do this thing where he like he he would often go back and forth from America for work. And when he was in LA, he'd get on the plane. And before he got on the plane, he'd buy two double Whoppers from Burger King.

Because they call it Burger King in America. And he would eat one. The yumbo is back at Burger King. And what he would do, he would eat one, put the other one in his bag, and then halfway through the flight, because it's like a 14-hour flight from LA to Sydney or wherever, halfway through the flight, about seven hours in, he would take his bag down from the overhead and just pull out a Whopper, a double Whopper, and just eat it.

I don't hate it. Can you do that? I wonder if you could do that and give it to one of the hosties and go, can you just bun this in the... Could you zap it? Yeah, I'll give it two minutes. Not two minutes!

If you were in business class, for sure. Absolutely. For sure. Absolutely. They would be honoured to do it. I reckon you could pull out a fish and go, could you get the chef to cook this up for me? Yeah, I don't mind.

The only thing I mind about that is that you're coming back from America where you can get all this fast food that does it. He's coming from LA. He could get in and out burger and have that on the plane. But he's just picking something that you can just get. They make the Whopper, it's just the same. That's the thing I take umbrage with. Get like a Wendy's or a Carl's Jr. or something.

Yeah, I thought you were going to say he just brought them back so he could immediately have a taste test in the Sydney airport with the Hungry Jacks. That's a really good idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a really good idea. Or he was bringing it back. I thought it was going to be a request that you had made.

You're going to go. Yeah, I'm going to go to LA. So now you're going to go to Queensland. Literally. And now you're going to go to LA. Yeah, I'm going to go to Queensland to go see're going to go to Queensland And now you're going to go to LA Yeah I'm going to go to Queensland Go see this bucket of water Jump on a plane Jump on a plane to LA

Get a Whopper Immediately get back on another plane Come back But then I've got to buy a Whopper here And let that get cold So I can't You know I'm not unfairly comparing a cold Whopper

To a hot Whopper But do you think anyone has ever like Gotten an In-N-Out burger, gotten on the plane and brought it back from LA and gotten it into their house and just had it in the fridge and then had it for dinner the next day? Has anyone imported pre-cooked goods from another country? Would you be allowed to bring it in?

Actually, no. I don't think you can. I think legally you can't. I reckon you're not allowed. They'll be so embarrassing to be at the airport and then get pulled up by a beagle and you've got one burger in your bag. You've got a filet of fish from New York. You lie about it because you think you're going to get away with it.

So you just say, no, I don't have any food or anything. Then you get caught and it's like a $40,000 fine. That's a lot of money. I reckon the only thing more embarrassing is if you did it with the chips because you get to the front and it's like, what the fuck are you thinking? You don't reheat chips. What are you going to put chips, fast food chips in the microwave? You fucking idiot.

How long would they need in the microwave? Oh, you don't even fuck with that. Like, you know, I can understand what we're doing here with the burger, but the chips. You see, there's a new product now where they're like McCain's microwavable chips. They're really crunchy. It's like bullshit. They're not. Yeah, bullshit.

Yeah, bullshit artists. Nothing's coming out of the microwave crunchies. Can I just say that? And I don't know if I've talked about this on the pod. I've definitely talked about this on maybe other podcasts. I don't know. But I am a bit of a cold man and I love to eat. I am a cold man.

I love a cold chip. Really? Hot chip cold. Really? Love it. Yeah, but what sort? But when I say cold, I love a cold chip. Really? Hot chip cold. Love it. Yeah, but what sort? But when I say cold, I mean cold. Oh, you mean like frozen?

No, not frozen. Getting it, opening a bag of McCain's and just eating them like... That's the crunchiest chip you'll ever eat. I do like a frozen chip. Wait, you like a frozen chip? I like a frozen chip. You like frozen chips? I like a frozen chip. I like a frozen chip. You like frozen chips? I like a frozen chip. I like a frozen pea.

I like frozen corn. Are you? I like cold things. I'm from Queensland. I need to cool down. Would you like to cool down up there? Yeah. Savory ice cream.

Are you one of these people, instead of in the fruit and veg pit, instead of picking up a bag full of grapes, you're going to the frozen foods and just walking around with a bag of frozen peas, just picking them out of there? I mean, I wait until I get home, but I also freeze the grapes, too, and to the frozen foods and just walking around with a bag of frozen peas, just picking them out of there. I mean, I wait till I get home, but I also freeze the grapes too and eat those frozen. Oh, wow. My dream afternoon back home is sitting in a pool noodle.

You know those ones that you get the mesh, you get the two noodles, you get the mesh chair, and I got a little Tupperware container with some frozen peas in it. Frozen shit in it, yeah, right. Sitting in the pool. Is your fridge, you know, most people... The tropical summer. Is your fridge, you know, most people have like the fridge And then the tiny freezer compartment on top

Is yours like the other way around? Just this gigantic freezer With just like a tiny little bit in the top For like some milk and you know I wish but we never buy any food We're never at home I just want to see you at like a Caribbean resort With calypso drums playing.

There's like a swim up bar. You're just sitting there with your frozen penis. That's so funny. It was like that. I was from a family where we had like four freezers. Yeah. Because we got the deep freezer. We just got all the meat from everything granddad's recently killed.

And then the other freezer, which has got... Do you remember the home ice cream van yeah no it was like the bell you get a catalog in the mail and you'd pick out you'd just be like you get this container like a bulk container of like 35 tropical fruit icy poles and you'd pick out they'd be like mama get like four months worth of icy poles and everybody's's house freezer would just be full of different icy poles. Right, right. So you got the catalogue and then they would drive around and ring the bell. You'd pick it out of the catalogue and then they'd ring out the bell. Then you'd run outside with the catalogue with what you'd be like,

I need six boxes of tropical fruit juice icy bowls. Man, that's interesting. So you've got the catalogue and then you're just playing the waiting game. Yeah, you just wait. But if you get the catalogue in the mail, you know that the home ice cream truck makes deliveries. They're coming soon, right? And after a certain amount of time,

the guy will know which houses to come to and he'll drive up to your driveway. Because if you're in the country, you've got a long driveway. You don't want to have to run out like a kilometre to catch the Mr. Home ice cream. Because there's Mr. Whippy too, which is different. Home ice cream is, yeah, it's basically like Mr. Whippy, but everything's pre-packaged.

Yes. And it's, you buy not to eat there. It's, you know. It's for people who plan. It's not instant gratification like Mr. Whippy. Yeah. Mr.

Whippy is the worst thing in the world. Because you want it, but you go out and then they put this wet, sloppy ice cream in a cone and then dip it in hot chocolate in a 35-degree day and it never – you've got to just shove the whole thing in your mouth and try and get it before it drips all over your head. I don't like that. There's a bit of pressure because you're like, fuck, you just want to savour it and all of a sudden you're just working straight away.

You're just looking around the perimeter straight away. And you know mum and dad have spent $4 like that. There's a bit of pressure because you're like, fuck, you just want to savor it. And all of a sudden you're just working straight away. You're just looking around the perimeter straight away. And you know mum and dad have spent $4 on that. You've been a good girl. Did anyone here ever see an ice cream thing called Dippin' Dots? Yes. They're at the show all the time. Yes, you're right. They're a big Melbourne show people.

I remember just being, I was on a fucking, this is the dumbest story. I was on a road trip from Brisbane to Melbourne with Damien Power. And that was the only time me and Damien had had an actual screaming argument with each other. Like we had an actual big argument. As you're driving? Yeah, as we were driving.

And we didn't talk for like two hours. Were you driving down to do the comedy festival? No, we were driving down. What had we done? I think, no, maybe we were. Maybe we were. I think we'd done Brisbane. Yeah, this is a great foot to get off on.

And yeah, no, we were going down to the comedy festival. I don't think to do it together, but I was driving down and he was like, yeah, let's drive together and we had a big argument and the argument was about stalin classic queensland argument yeah i can't remember exactly what it was like it was talking about stalin somehow like how he like i can't remember why we were arguing about stalin was one of you pro and one of you anti? No, no, no. We were both anti-Stalin. Hang on, you're both anti-Stalin,

but you still got enough venom to scream at each other? Well, no, it was about a fact about Stalin, and I can't remember what the fact was. Something to do with, like, whether he knew Hitler was going to invade or not. Very quickly, this reminds me. One time I had a fist fight with someone at high school. Over Pol Pot?

Well, this is the thing. There was this big crowd gathered and then that obviously drew the teachers over and then we were like, fuck, let's just pretend we're friends. And so then me and the guy that I'm having a fist fight with just sat next to each other and then the teacher comes over and goes, I heard you two were having a fight.

And then we were like, no, no, just an argument. And they were like, what was the argument over? And we were like, football. And he goes, okay, who do you barrack for to the other guy? And he says, Essendon. And then he goes, who do you barrack for, Carl? And I go, Essendon. You're an idiot.

I thought they were going to do that thing where they separate you and they get your answers individually. We were right next to each other and we still said the same thing. We're arguing about who likes Essendon more. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So sorry, Greg. I mean, yeah, we just had this argument about Stalin. But also Damien's back was really sore on that trip so he

was reclining in his seat I was driving he was reclining his seat as much as he could and it only didn't hurt when he faced me so for two hours we were just driving in silence while he was just facing me lying in his seat and then when started talking, we got into a secondary argument where he said, what would you do if I bare butt farted in your face? Like if I took my pants down and then farted directly into your face.

And I said, I would punch you in the face. Like I would actually, I would actually punch you in the face. And he thought, he felt that was a dramatic overreaction. And that like, we got into an argument

about whether the the punishment fit the crime yeah i was like no i don't care like do it and see what happens man like i will do it it's unbelievable that you're still friends i know um i get the cold war thawed and then we had dinner and then we stopped in campbell town and the other we were staying at like a motor in like one of those ones that feels it wasn't a capsule hotel but it almost feels like a slightly bigger version of that like tiny room and the toilet shower was like a capsule right and we're just saying this little thing and right next to the hotel the only thing that was open was a hooters restaurant and i was legitimately going i have heard they have good buffalo wings i love a buffalo wing and you can look at me and tell i love a buffalo wing yeah

and then we went in there just me and damien power just like our heads down just like i'll just get the buffalo wing and then but then damien starts talking like our waitress comes over and damo just goes what is this what do you mean it's like what is it like what what is this just like i don't know dude like what do? Yeah, that was us in LA a few years ago. Just in at the Hooters across from our hotel. Vegas. Yeah, what did I say? LA. Oh, right, yeah, in Vegas.

Across, at the Hooters across the road, like four nights in a row. Going in for a laugh the first night. Hoot's actually pretty good. It was surprisingly good. But, like, these have got good poker machines as well. Just finding new reasons every night to come back. Yeah. Winning, I think the first night there, winning 20 bucks on the Sex and the City 2 poker machine

and being like, oh, now I've got great memories associated with this. Now we've got a lucky machine. We'd better go back. I went to Gold Coast recently and the Uber driver who picked me up told me that all the Hooters had shut down because of COVID. You know, because you're not Uber-eating food from Hooters, I guess. Oh, yeah. In the pandemic.

The poor girls. Yeah. Oh, God. Damn. Well, speaking of Queensland, I feel like it would be bad of us to not dive into your family history while we're talking about Queensland because we've had so many great bewildering stories

coming from you already. And I remember last time we did the show, you still had a list of stories that you didn't get through. It's like, fuck, let's get through that. And then just before we were recording, you just were throwing out these one-word descriptions from the set list. Have I told warts on here? Have I told snout on here?

I don't know. We don't know your whole oeuvre. We don't know the whole canon of work of your family. I've got a page in my notes app now that I'm looking forward to discovering in a year's time and having forgotten the context that says, rooster warts snout. I'll be like, was this a gig I was doing? What was I?

No, I think that was the ingredients of the yumbo. The snout meat yumbo. It's back. That could actually work because it's like a perfect circle. It looks like a snout. Yeah. Yeah, it could perfectly fit on. I now feel bad that I've eaten more of the yumbo than Greg has.

I thought Greg's going to demolish this thing. We're all going to be like, ha-ha, Greg, you ate it all. I mean, Tommy's eaten the most. Tommy's eaten the most, actually. I've eaten the most you've left that so you don't look like you love the yumbo

absolutely yeah he's just like the little wedge of yumbo I mean I paid for the yumbo it's like a slice of cake this yumbo cost me twelve dollars

so I feel like I've got to get my value out of the yumbo this is my lunch yeah heat that bit up I haven't had a cabana you know what

heat that bit up and see how it compares just one little bite sized put that in ten minutes? Heat that bit up and see how it compares. Oh, just one little bite-sized... Put that in 10 minutes or so in the microwave and see what you reckon. 10 minutes in the microwave? Yeah, I reckon. Yeah, okay.

I think it might. You could start... I'm genuinely worried it'll break my microwave. Yeah. You could start a side business selling bite-sized chunks of yumbo in the microwave. Every yumbo you eat,

leave one bite. That would be a good dinner party. Just you buying a few yumbos and then just chopping them up of Yumbo if they come our way. Every Yumbo you eat, leave one bite. That would be a good dinner party, just you buying a few Yumbo's and then just chopping them up and putting like

a toothpick in little one inch bits of Yumbo. I set up shop out the front of the Hungry Jacks on Hoddle Street,

my own little Tommy's Yumbo Nuggets. Yeah, yeah. I'm just in there every half hour. Fifteen more Yumbo's, thanks. I just love the idea of just seeing two cops talking to you going,

mate, you can't resell a yumbo. Okay, you can't. And you're like, no, but it's not like the ice creams where it says not for individual sale. They don't have that on the yumbo. That's great. Them trying to take me down and then realising they actually don't have a leg to stand on.

Them just being furious like, fuck, he's got us. He's got us over a barrel. He's got us. No's got us over a barrel. He's got us. No, I know my rights. I know my consumer rights. People aren't paying for them. It's a suggested donation for the Yumbo Nugget.

It actually makes no sense because you'd be, you'd have to charge more than it would cost them to just go and get a Yumbo. It makes no sense why. Mine's a little bit closer. They're not having to walk in. They're not having to go into the Hungry Jacks. They're getting to just go and get a yumbo. It makes no sense why they would want it. Mine's a little bit closer. They're not having to walk in.

They're not having to go into the Hungry Jacks. They're getting to just get it and keep going. Very nice. So, yeah, let's get – Can we pick? What's on the menu? We've got snout. We've got –

We've got warts and we've got rooster, unless there's any ones that you think are better than those three. Let me check the list. There's – Oh, Snake's Fence, Cane Toad Water. That's taking it fancy. Those are probably, oh, Dirt Phone Call. Oh, right. That's actually not as great.

Actually, no, I'm still feeling Cane Toad Water. Yeah, yeah. I'm really feeling it. Is there a way to just quickly give us the context of dirt phone call? Oh, it was just my little cousin. He's a little, I think he's a psychopath. And he was up the Cape for Christmas. They were up there.

Uncle Peter was killing pigs. What word is he? Cape? Oh, Cape. Whatever is the Cape right at the top of Queensland. Right, okay. I get confused with the one in South Africa, so I never want to say which one.

Yeah, is that Cape York? I don't even know. Cape Shank? Is that a thing? Oh, Cape Town's the one in Africa, isn't it? Yeah, it must be Cape York. It's Cape York. He goes up there to some farm

where you've got to fly in and out of with a helicopter at Christmas time. And I was up there in Townsville at Christmas and my cousin called up to Nana and I asked him there in Townsville at Christmas and my cousin called up to Nana and I asked him what he got for Christmas and he said I got two thousand dollars worth of dirt dad's building me a dirt bike track and they live on the same property as my Nana and Granddad up the front and I said oh no because my Nana's into gardening, no, nana's used all your dirt.

She put it into the gardens and stuff. And then he just went, oh, did she? That's dirt phone call. That's dirt phone call. Give it up for dirt phone call, everyone. I told you, it's not that good. That's a weird thing to quantify how much dirt costs, I think. To go $2,000 worth of dirt, it's like, where are you buying your dirt?

Well, it wasn't just dirt. He bought a shipping container as well, because he's a proper dirt biker, so he could jump up over the thing and do all the... So it's a lot of dirt. It's more the packaging. There's a lot of packaging in $2,000 worth of dirt, I think. Dirt, the shipping container, all other things. Yeah, yeah.

So much stuff. A lot of middleman action with dirt. Yeah. Yeah. It's not fun to look out and see he's also the one who we had this tree we called it the emu tree because it's sort of shaped like an emu it's like up and it's got like a right angle in the tree and in the back of the tree there's like a little hole where a frog lived and for like all of my life and i went back one frog

lived there all your life yeah like it was this big frog at the end it couldn't get its head out the hole it was like so fat right but it end, it couldn't get its head out of the hole. It was like so fat. Right. But it would just sort of like poke its head out and the flies would come and it would like eat the flies. Like Winnie the Pooh. Yeah. Like Uber Eats.

There we go. Yeah. And I went up and I went to check the frog in the tree and it was gone. And I was like, oh, it must have died. And then I asked Nana and she said, no, your cousin killed it with a screwdriver. That was sad. That was the one with the $2,000 worth of dirt. I've heard that story before and it's the only one of your stories

where I go, oh. Yeah, I told you he's a psycho. I have a feeling we've heard. He doesn't deserve all that dirt if he's going to carry on like that. If he's going to carry on. He carried on like a bloody idiot. Stabbing a frog with a screw. I have a feeling we've heard

cane-toed water before. It sort of rings a bit of a bell. The one where they're siphoning the water out of the fountain. I don't think we have, have we? Maybe you've just heard it in real life. I don't know. I'll tell you, pig snout.

Now we're just going to get complaints that there's no cane toad water. Give us a bit of cane toad water then. All right. Cane toad. We had this. My mum built a fountain out the back and the cane toads got in the water and my dogs would always drink the water.

And cane toad, it's like poisonous for dogs. So mum and dad pulled the top off and were trying to get all the water out. And the way they were doing it was they had a piece of poly pipe each and were siphoning the water out with their own mouths. I could see it coming and I didn't want it. I didn't want it to happen. And then they just kept doing it. And I was like eight and I walked outside and I was like,

what are you doing? And they told me and then I was like, what about the water pump? And they were like, get inside. Maybe that does ring a bell. And then I heard the pump turn on. I feel like I haven't heard that, but I think something in the universe was telling me, like, you don't want to hear this.

You're right. Yeah. All right. What about, let's go snout. Pig snout. My Uncle Peter's had a lot of jobs. He left school to work on a banana farm and since then he's been a pig shooter, a roo shooter

and he's shot brumbies out of helicopters. Fuck, it must be interesting in Queensland to just check people's CVs up there. Big time. His CV looks pretty remarkable. Yeah, he's also driven cranes on the wharf and been a rodeo clown for the PBR. Oh, wow.

Now, that's interesting to apply for a rodeo clown position and have that in there. Oh, I shoot pigs. I guess I could make kids laugh. Sure, okay. That was like the biggest. For me, when I was a kid, it was at the Townsville Entertainment Centre. I was like, my Uncle Peter is famous. There's thousands of people watching him jump out of the way of a bull.

Look at Daddy up there. Is that why you got into comedy? Yeah. Clowning runs in the fair. That is what comedy is like. It is like being a rodeo clown in some ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In danger of being gored by a bull.

He gets you onto Open Forum to support our rodeo clown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In danger of being gored by a bull. He gets you onto open forum to support our droidio clown. Yeah. But when you're like a pig shooter, you go do it on the farms and they don't want all the bodies of the pigs. Plus you can like sell the bodies. You go take them to just like they've got these random cold rooms around and you just check in your pigs and then they send them over. Queensland cash converters.

Yeah, exactly. They just send them over to Europe and then they eat them. But the way you get paid to prove that you've killed the pigs is you cut off the snout. So you just have these little, like, snout dollars. They don't want any stolen valour in there, someone just bringing in a found corpse. Right.

Yeah, I killed this. Right, so that's a bit of pig currency. Yeah, so you take the snout so you can show the farmers, look, I killed 25 pigs, here are all the snouts. Yeah. And one. That's like, you know what? It's exactly the same as, you know, news agencies when they return magazines and they just keep the front page.

Yeah. Yeah. It's exactly the same. Exactly. And once Uncle Peter, because like I've said, we all eat, we like cold food in Queensland. He said, what do you want? Do you want an icy pole? And I said, yes.

And then he was like, all right, I've got a surprise one for you. Shut your eyes and put your hand out. Oh, no. No uncle should say that. Yeah, just open it up to like a sort of like cold, like you know when the blood is sort of like in the freezer and it's all flecky like a snow cone? No, no, I don't really have blood in my freezer.

I don't really have a lot of experience in this sort of thing. Some people are listening, Mike, but we personally don't. Yeah, so that was one of his good pranks. So he gave you a snout? He just put a full frozen snout in my hand. It wasn't in a plastic bag either. So Nana was upset because then she realised that Uncle Peter had been putting the snout sort of just bareback in the freezer.

So you're wanting a Zoopa Doopa and you're getting a big schnoz in there. Yeah. Or at least a frozen chip or frozen potato cake or something you could immediately eat. Yeah, it looked quite similar to one of those smileys. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's got the two holes. I've just stumbled across a great scam you could pull if you ever wanted to go up to North Queensland

and breed feral pigs. Just breed feral pigs. Can a pig live with its snout cut off? I'm going to say no. I feel like the whole scam hinges on the answer that you get because if you just breed feral pigs and then just cut and like maybe just kill them and cut this and then you can just sell the snouts yep to pig hunters right and like for like you know x amount and then they can for less than what it caught they would get for the killing the pig

so they don't have to do any work and they can just grab a bunch of snouts and then go, here, I've killed this many pigs. So that's like the Queensland version of internet scamming. Instead of sending around links to Bunnings gift vouchers online, you're just cutting off the nose of a pig. You're farming pigs for their snouts. I feel like economically it might not make sense. Yeah, I reckon the pig feed's got to cost you a bit.

Yeah, the pig feed's going to cost a bit. There's a lot of outlay. There's a yeah you've got to make an investment at the start if you want to have a good scan there's any investors out there that want to buy into Greg's idea here to sell my scam I also check with my mum recently because it didn't make sense. I was like, I have a memory because like the roller coaster thing, I think a lot of things sometimes are dreams. I like how all this brutal stuff happens to you

and the thing you block out is going on to a theme park. Going to Tops. But yeah, your mum. Yeah, I asked her Because I was like, surely, in my mind They can't have been sending feral pig bodies Over to Europe It doesn't make any sense

How would they, like, we don't eat them Because they're gross Surely not, surely Grandad's just burning them Or something And then I sent mum a text message that was like What did we do with the feral pig bodies? And then she said, oh, granddad sent them to Czechoslovakia or some shit.

The Czechs love it. They love a bit of feral pig. Yeah, Prague's right into that. Wild boar. Yeah, what does feral pig taste like? Yeah, why is it any different to normal pig? I reckon it's just gamey. Oh, right. I think it's just gamey. Oh,

right. I think it's just super gamey. Right. But we don't like that. That's why you have good pigs. Yeah.

Did you ever read the Asterix comics? Yes, The Wild Boar. That was the delicacy. That was one of the cartoon foods

that to me looks like the best tasting food. Yes. Like that and Ninja Turtle's pizza. Yes.

Because they're celebrating too. The Wild Boar, end of every comic. And Oblix would always eat like a couple of whole ones. Yes. Like that and Ninja Turtles pizza. Yes. Because they're celebrating too. The wild boar, end of every comic. And Oblix would always eat like a couple of whole ones. Yes, yes. And the same deal, like I said about McDonald's as a kid, you see that thing and you go, that's amazing. So to me, I was like, I absolutely want to eat a wild boar.

And then if I got one, I'd be like, fuck no. Well, where I bought my cabana today at the Preston markets, you can buy wild boar at one of the places. Wait, so you got a cabana from markets? Yeah, I got it from markets. It wasn't like at a Coles. No, it was just a market. It was just a place that had dimmies and potato scallops and chips and cabanas.

Mate, you're in Victoria. Call it properly. I tried to go fishing once after Christmas with cabana and none of the fish wanted it. Oh, really? Yeah. Last time I was up in Queensland in January, I caught a fish with cheese and I caught a fish with some peanut butter.

What are you doing? What? Yeah. Are you related to Danielle? Are you an uncle? Yeah. You've got to ask why. I've come on today to tell you.

I am your long lost uncle, Yegi. Why are you heading out onto the open seas with a... It wasn't on the open seas. It was on like a jetty. But still, if you made all that effort, why didn't you bring bait? No, I brought bait and we had some cheese with us. It was like a sort of picnic type... You had cheese and peanut butter in your backpack just in case.

And the cheese worked a treat. And then I looked it up. Apparently cheese is a real good bait for brim. Fishes like it. Hello cheese. Try a bit of yumbo on the end of the line. Catch a flathead with this.

Microwaved even better. Alright, let's hear warts. Okay. It's my Nana's favourite story to tell. So you're covering this? Yeah, she walks out to the garden and she'll tell you about how all her plants are going currently and then about this one particular plant.

She'll just always tell you the same story every time, even though you've heard the story a million times. She'll be like, and that's the wart plant? And I call it the wart plant because when I was 16, I was getting ready for my debutante ball and I felt so beautiful in my dress and then I looked down at my hand and on my pinky finger, I just had this horrible wart and I just thought to myself, you're not beautiful with that wart.

You can't wait for this to come back to the flower somehow. So what I did is I just got my fingernails and I just thought to myself, you're not beautiful with that wart. Can't wait for this to come back to the flower somehow. So what I did is I just got my fingernails and I just dug in. I just dug in around the wart and I just pulled and pulled and pulled until, do you know warts have roots? And the blood, it just sort of, it went all over my dress and my dress was ruined. But I just threw it in a plant that looked just like that. So that's why I call that plant the wart plant.

Oh, my God. I think the good thing about bringing out the yumbo is it gives a bit of like, it puts it all into perspective. It's like that's the second most disgusting thing that we've heard on the show after the experience of the yumbo. Yeah, but I really wish I hadn't eaten the yumbo and then heard these stories. Yeah, I'm sure all the stories today are quite disgusting, aren't they? It's just nice to hear one where an animal hasn't been fucking savagely murdered.

Well, the pigs and the cane toad. The pigs, the cane toad, the frog. And then finally all that happened was an old woman's wart getting just disintegrated. You see, the thing is, because this is another one that I think you have told me that one in in just in our personal lives and i feel like hearing your stories the first time are always so exciting because you don't know what's going to happen and hearing them the second time there's just so much dread like it's just so much as that was being told your head was in your hands you're just rubbing your temple i remember remember, I remember. You were saying, no, no.

I remember. I know what's happening. Please, please. Don't do it. Don't do it. This is going to be like the roller coaster for Danielle, but for you it's like I had this weird dream where I did a podcast and I heard these disturbing stories.

For me, all these stories are like a lovely thing that I just think to remember my family. I'm like, oh, I love my Nana. Love hearing the warts story. Tell me it again, Nana. Yeah. I can't wait for you. I'm sorry, this sounds bad,

but when your family members die and you're doing a eulogy and you're picking these ones out to tell in front of a lot of people. Yeah. You're killing up there. What other ones are there? It's like Well Aliens Yeah Yowies

Bunyips What if Oh my grandad did Hmm No Oh Now we know it's a good one Yeah exactly

Wow Whoa You know the wart was good to tell But well we found one that's no good I was just thinking We went Me and Jono went out for like An anniversary dinner.

We went to like a fancy restaurant in Sydney. And like, you know one of those ones that's like real expensive? And we're sitting there and we got some sort of thing. It was like a bit of organ or something. A what? Like a bit of organ. A bit of organ in a fancy restaurant. It was like some organ dish.

In your liver or... Yeah. Right, right. And then I started talking about how... This is the bit because I'm like, you know, you tell these stories before and you're the outsider going, how weird is this? And all of a sudden, you're not that far away from it. You're in a fancy restaurant going, I've got a bit of organ. This reminds me of the farm.

Well, I started telling on her dinner. I was like, I used to love when Grandad would gut the pigs and he'd do it in one stroke and they'd all fall out. Just picturing candlelit, soft piano in the background, like John was in a tuxedo. And I was like, yeah, Grandad would let me pull all the organs apart and they were all so beautiful and colourful and he'd let me name them and then I'd get to...

Name the organs? Yeah, I'd be like... I wasn't like Stephanie. I was like... I was like kidney, large intestine. I'd do that and put them in the bucket and then we'd cut them open and check them for worms and stuff. And I'd just... Would put them in the bucket and then we'd cut them open and check them for worms and stuff. Would you name the worms?

You're not going to not name them. Just like you and me. They deserve names. I thought I was telling quite a nice story about me and my grandad bonding and learning all these things from him. And John, I was like, can you stop talking about this? People can hear you. Because I was getting quite animated at the start.

I was being like, if you haven't seen a kidney fresh from the body, the colour. I mean, that would be a clean break, breaking up on the anniversary dinner because then it's people going, how long were you together? Exactly five years to the date. And then from then on, every time you see a kid and you go, oh, that's the breakup organ. I've got a story about why I call it the breakup organ.

All right, so what about Rooster? We've still got stories. God, I thought we'd gone through all of them. The Rooster was... I think I've talked about how my granddad has genetically engineered these humongous chickens before. Have I mentioned... It doesn't ring any bells to me.

Okay. And that sort of thing should. Well, I think my granddad's into eugenics, a bit like Hitler. Right, yeah. But just with... This is the same one that believes in aliens and everything. Yes, the other one is quite boring.

Oh, really? He's into pineapples, growing pineapples in his garden and roses. He's also dead. So there's less to go off. As boring as you can be. Grandad for years has been breeding the biggest chickens with the biggest roosters until we've got like this master race, like the eggs. I was going to say master race.

I know I shouldn't ask this, but what's happening to the ones that aren't so big? Well, they get given to somebody else. Right. There's a man down the road who takes them. He's got heaps of guinea fowls and stuff. The old man down the road. Some fucking loser who's happy to have a medium-sized chicken.

Grandad takes the little chickens out the back and just fucking stamps them. They get shipped away. Also, the smallest ones aren't small. They're like big for a regular chicken. It's hard to have a metaphor for killing an animal when you already live on the farm. You can't go, we've sent this to a farm, we're on a farm. Nobody's using the metaphor on the farm. Right, right. There's no time for already live on the farm yeah you can't go we've sent this to a farm we're on a farm nobody's using the metaphor on the farm right no time for metaphors on a farm once i walked out recently granddad's eyesight's been going a bit and um he he was welding and i was

like what you making and he was like cow killer because it's like a thing it's a thing for the cow to walk into so that it can't move so he can just walk up to it and sort of hold the gun to its head so it's a one clean shot. You're acting like that's a sad thing. That's actually a really nice thing to do for the animal because it's just one clean shot. I hope someone does it for me one day. Honestly.

Trap me and put a bullet in my head. Please God. Trap me in a cage and put a bullet in me. Any Greg Killer. Give me a yum a bullet in me. In a Greg killer. Yeah. Give me a yumbo to distract me. To sedate you. That's nice.

He's got a little hobby. He's got something to keep him busy. Make him a little cow killer. Yeah. Yeah, he's got lots of things to keep him busy. Once he built an A-frame rotisserie for pigs. So when we cook the pig over the fire, it's like powered by a whippersnipper motor and the pig rotates by itself.

Wouldn't it be rotated really fast? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's a whippersnipper. Not cooking. Not enough on any type of pig at all. You need a pig to cut the grass. He hasn't hooked it up to the bit that spins. He's just using the motor.

You can make it go whatever speed you want. Okay, good. Would that even still work physically? If you spin something that quick in front of fire, does it still cook? I don't even know. Well, it goes slow. He's made it work. It's actually quite beautiful to watch.

Just the neighbours on a Sunday morning, another fucking Walker family, always firing up the pig rotisserie at 8am on a Sunday when you're trying to sleep in. You know, whenever you see them... And then he gets out the pig blower to try and blow all the pigs off the lawn. It's like, do it after lunch. You're just moving

them around. It's not fixing anything. Don't blow the pigs onto our lawn. You know, whenever you see a roast pig in a movie, they've always got the legs sort of like, sort of bent in and tucked in. Grandads are not tucked in, so they're just sort of like directly straight out. Not very compact. Yeah, because they've gone through like, you know,

they've been hung up to like hang overnight and stuff to bleed out and all that. I don't reckon I've ever been closer to becoming a vegetarian right now. Never? It doesn't sound great. The two vegan listeners we've got are hating this. I'm very sorry. Yeah, I've got some

issues because I obviously was around it so I don't feel anything. Absolutely, sure. Yeah, yeah. Makes sense. I'm sorry if I'm brutally describing it.

I don't feel anything. Casually. So yeah, so I don't feel anything or anything. But even you Wouldn't bite into the yumbo I got tricked into I got given a pig's snout

Instead of an icy pole once So I'm dead inside I do at some stage Want to see you Go into Tommy's freezer And just bite into Whatever's in there By the way

Well it depends What's in there If there's a chip I'm happy to If there's a frozen, I'm happy to. If there's a frozen beef patty, I don't want that. Oh, really? That's where you draw the line.

Raw meat, yeah. I don't want raw meat. There's like a loaf of bread and some ice cream at the moment. Oh, wow. Dare she eats the ice cream, the frozen ice cream. Frozen bread is normal. I wouldn't eat the frozen bread, but that's for babies. Yeah. What? You know, bread, but that's for babies. Yeah.

What? You give, you know, for if you... Frozen bread for babies? For when they're teething. Really? Yeah, mum would always do the crusts for my... Because she didn't want to buy those like teething sticks. This is not a general tip. This is one of the Walker family tips.

I think it's a mum's tip so you don't have to buy those expensive bread, like cruskets. Is that what... They don't call it cruskets. Crusks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the little cracker things. The little like stick things. Oh, yeah Kruskets. Is that what they're not called, Kruskets? Krusks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the little cracker things. The little like stick things. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What are they called? People are going to fucking kill us for not remembering the name of it. It's something, what's it called? Rusks. Rusks. There we go. Krusks. Yeah, you're quite very close, yeah.

Yeah, we would just have. Aldi Rusks. Yeah, mum would just chop the thing, I don't know, the frozen bread up and give it to them instead. Right. Mum, can I have a Rusk? We've got Rusks at home. Yeah, yeah will just chop the thing, I don't know, the frozen bread up and give it to them instead. Right. Mum, can I have a rusk? We've got rusks at home. So, yeah, your grandpa is... So then later in life the kid grows up and it's like,

yeah, have some toast. That's just really well done rusks. Hot rusk. Hot rusk. Hot rusk dance. Got the hot rusk for the boys. Yeah, you're putting Vegemite on your rusk. Fuck, yeah. La-di-da.

Yeah, so your grandpa is genetically engineered. Yeah, he made these really big chickens, and the roosters are even bigger. They're like the size of a goat. What? What the fuck? They're like the biggest roosters in the... But how big are the goats?

How big have the goats been fucking bred on your granddad's farm? How have I not seen this guy on Ripley's Believe It or Not? Yeah. I think granddad doesn't like traditional media. That Dean Cain cunt, if he thinks he's coming around here... Traditional media is Guinness Book of Records. Yeah, Dean Cain can fucking try it. I'll trap him in the cow killer and take him out.

Yeah, I don't trust that big book. That huge cunt. I've bred a bigger bloke than him. That guy didn't really eat an aeroplane. That's not true. That's what they want you to believe. That's what big quantas want you to believe. Yeah.

So we got like one of the bigger roosters and it came to our house to look after our hens. And it had like these big... Have you seen the back of a rooster's leg? Is it really spiky? They've got these humongous spurs. Talons. They're, like, yeah, the talons, they're, like, 12 – this one was, like, it was, like, 12 centimetres long and so sharp, and he was so aggressive.

And he would only, like – he would, like, start – he would always try and attack me. And so I would use a piece of polypiped to sort of hold him back. Crack open the calculator, I reckon. I would like to, but nobody ever believed me that he was attacking me. Oh, really? So I would tell mum, I was like, the rooster's attacking me, I don't want to do it, I'm going to do it. Not even your crazy granddad with all the conspiracy theories,

he's like, no, it's a bridge too far. We're siding with the rooster on this one. My granddad always says if you look an animal in the eye and keep eye contact, it won't attack you. Right. But roosters, you can't look them in the eye. He's more of a believe all roosters sort of a guy. And the only way he would leave me alone is if I eventually,

like, I'd have to sacrifice an egg. So I'd have to, like, throw an egg and then he'd go over and suck up all the egg in the yolk. He was an egg eater. They don't do that, do they? Yeah, chickens and roosters love it. Yeah, or you should see it. They like –

Suck up the egg. They do the same thing where you know how it's all in like a little sack, like it's all like in together. You can see him go like – Oh, the noise. I'm glad Greg hasn't heard that story just so I didn't have to

watch his face anticipate what happened know what was coming and the protein just making him bigger too probably he's a cannibal he is a cannibal

genetically engineered super rooster if you're around chickens drop an egg they go nuts for it wow they all do and I would like tell mum I was like cannibal genetically engineered super rooster. If you're around chickens, drop an egg. They go nuts for it. Wow. I don't want to do that.

And I would tell mum. I was like, he's attacking me. I don't want to feed him. Can we get rid of him? And mum was always like, no, no, no. I don't believe you. You just don't want to do your chores. That was your theory. Just kill all the animals on the farm so I don't have to do any work.

And so I went away on like a scout camp for like 14 days and when i came back the rooster was gone and my mom had a bandage around her leg and uh i was like where's the rooster and then she just wouldn't admit to me right that the rooster that the rooster had attacked her but everybody else told me what had happened but mom just wouldn't she just she was gaslighting me like she wouldn't she wouldn't admit it and i was like mom and dad that you know they got a divorce a few years later so dad was quite happy to be like yeah the rooster got her yeah the rooster got her and granddad yeah granddad had to come and get rid of it but granddad thought he'd he'd um killed it and then he took it home and threw the body on the burn heap and then when he like emptied out the sack that he put the body in the rooster came

alive oh no and started chasing after him again what it's like a zombie rooster it was dead yeah because it was like it was like you couldn't king hit that thing to death like it was like too big this is like the last 30 seconds of a... I'll put him out of his misery. King. He's built a cage so he can king him. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't to put a bullet in the front of his head.

It was the back of his head. This is like the last 30 seconds of a horror film where they set up a sequel. It's like the rooster's not dead. We're doing number two. We're doing big rooster two. I know what you did on the farm last summer. Fuck it, hell.

Oh, my God. All right. Well, I reckon that brings us to the end of the Little Dumbbell Club for another week. I didn't think I'd say this, but I hope you're out of stories. I think that's it. I'll let you know if I have any light-hearted ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can unclench my stomach.

Any nice stories where an animal doesn't die? Yeah. When an animal does something positive, makes you happy. Yeah, once we were in the rainforest and there was a carpet snake over the road and Grant had just stopped the car and got out and he stood on its head

and lifted its tail up and let me pat it and then he just moved it off the road. That's a nice thing. What a happy story when you could stand on someone's head. I was like, what did I just say? Alright, Danielle and Greg, thank you so much for joining us. Danielle, you've got a show coming up in Sydney? Yeah, it's called Bits.

Will this be out by then? Is it the 13th, 14th, 15th in Sydney? Yeah, in May. Yep. This will be out by then. Yep. Go check that out. If you want to go and hear an American History X story about snakes, maybe go and do that.

Greg, what about yourself? You've got the Grub podcast. Yeah, I've got the Grub podcast. Ben Russell and Anne Edmonds. Listen to that. And my show that I did, the Comedy Festival, just stay tuned because I'm going to do it in Brisbane and Sydney, but I don't know when.

Okay. And the name of it is? This Might Not Be Hell. Yep. And it's an award-winning comedy play. So coming to Brisbane and Sydney soon. Follow Greg on the socials to find out where you're going. Yeah, I saw it and loved it, so go check it out.

If it's coming near you. Guys, thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. And they've done it again. They certainly have. Let's just reiterate

those Sydney dates again, Tommy. We're at Saturday night at 8.45 on what date? May the 15th. That's it. Factory Theatre in Marrickville. That's it. That's the 15th. That's it. Factory Theatre in Marrickville. That's it. That's a live podcast.

That's us and a bunch of awesome friends in Sydney. Please, your chance to see us for the first time in nearly two years. That would be great if you popped along to see that. We won't do another live one up there this year. And then the next day, you can go to, or instead of, our stand-up shows back-to-back at the, what's the place called? Potts Point Hotel. Potts Point Hotel at 3.30 in the afternoon. Yes.

Be done by about 6, so you can do your little Sunday evening activities. See us in the afternoon. Two shows in the one ticket. So, yeah, make a big weekend of it. And, yeah, like we said, this is coming up very quickly. It's all happened quite last minute for yeah some reasons someone's not

doing their show anymore for whatever reasons but yeah this has all come about very quickly so we really need you guys to get mobilised get active littledumbdumbclub.com get those tickets right now please we'd love to see you creeping up we'd love to see you up there very excited very excited. We'd love to see you up there. Very excited.

Yeah. Very excited to get back to Sydney. Good excuse to go back there because it's always a bit like, as we've mentioned, I think in previous times, we're always a bit like, there's certain cities

where we're not quite sure where to go and all of a sudden we've had an offer to go somewhere. So it's a pleasure to do this without the usual, hey, everyone,

does anyone know anywhere to go to fucking play a show? And then people go, hey, my house. Yeah, we have these cities where it's like it's hard for us to find a venue. But it turns out the answer is for if someone can just have a very public meltdown every time we're thinking about doing a live show in a city, that would help us out immensely. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

So anyway, we're doing it. We're doing it. So we'd love to see a bunch of people bought tickets already. But first time we've mentioned on the podcast. So we'd like to see a spike after this, please, Sydney. That doing it. We're doing it. So we'd love to see a bunch of people bought tickets already. But first time we've mentioned it on the podcast, so we'd like to see a spike after this, please, Sydney folk. That's it. One last time. Saturday, May the 15th for the live podcast.

Sunday, May the 16th for the two solo shows back-to-back. LittleDumbDumbClub.com. Get your little tickies. Sydney. Lovely. But has Bernie kicked a big one? I believe so. I believe so.

They've done it again. Now, I would say this about the yumbo look i don't think who knows whether i thought they were connected i'm not sure if they are now but uh when i left your house that day yep i went straight home and i was extremely ill yep um now i thought it was yumbo related i went to bed I felt a bit A bit worn down A bit poorly And I woke up And then I was Extremely ill And I went

Yumbo But it turns out I think it was Gastro It's a great name To scream into the heavens Yeah The Yumbo Gastro

I know Yumbo the god of gastro Yeah So It was I tell you what It was just It was a very poor coincidence

That I happened to have Something that looked That bad to eat Just before I got very sick. Because it's a very easy thing to align with sickness. 100%. If you've had anything slightly dodgy in the hours preceding food poisoning or anything of that nature, it's very easy to pin it on that. Exactly. But the reality is it's sort of several hours back before that by the time it takes effect on your body.

Yeah. Look, I probably would have had similar symptoms anyway if I hadn't gotten gastro after that. Right. And look, I don't know why I'm going into bat so hard in defense of the yumbo, but let it be said that I did not have any ill effects from the yumbo. Right. And I've not heard it. Someone wants to get on a Hungry Jacks comedy. I haven't heard anything from Greg Larson.

I hit him up. Did you? Right. You would have to imagine if he'd gotten sick from it, we would have heard about it. I think I did cause him some form of anxiety attack once I visited him. Right.

Yeah. I don't think he was ill, but I think that's the sort of thing you can't just hint at with Greg and he'll forget it. I think it's probably still plaguing him now. So he was pretty stressed. Right, right. So he, I mean, but also, yeah, he'd eaten a whole cabana with Greg and he'll forget it I think it's probably still plaguing him now so he was pretty stressed right

so he I mean but also yeah he'd eaten a whole cabana as discussed on the episode that might have been the antidote though anything in the

yeah okay yeah yeah yeah well yeah I mean we just did a bonus episode of the show with Ben Lomas who was very alarmed about the idea

of catching Gastro off you because you're still technically in the state where you should not be around people. Which I didn't know. So I'm now... He was freaking out about it and I was like,

you get to leave. I've got to be around this guy for another hour after this. So I'm also... We're here with the ventilation open, with the door open. So yeah, I am slightly panicked about that. Sure. I understand that. To be honest, I did not realise that that was a – he said it was a 48-hour window

where you shouldn't be around people or whatever it was. I did not know that. However, I figured it was like, well, I feel all right now because I ran here. But again, with all the lessons of the last year, how quickly we forget. I know. I feel fine to go into work. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought. I know. I feel fine to go into work. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought it was the old I feel fine test. I thought that's how it works, but apparently not. So hopefully, fingers crossed, we're going by the old two metre gastro rule. Yep, that's it. At the moment. I'm keeping a watchful eye over everything you've touched in the apartment. Yes. I will be putting the tent over just this part of the building.

Yeah, fair enough. Fumigating it as soon as you leave. Fair enough. By the way, you may have noticed also while we were doing the bonus, I've got my phone. I don't have my phone on silent. I'm waiting for a call back from Virgin in regards to what I talked about on last week's episode, my flight home.

Yes. This is now the second time where I've been on the phone to them and been on hold, done all of it, been on the phone for close to an hour and then they're like, we're going to have to go up the food chain on this and I'm going to have to call you back in like half an hour. So what you're talking about is that you bought a flight to come home, had to change it, you couldn't figure out how to change it, you couldn't do it on the phone, so you just bought a new flight

and then wanted to um refund the old flight it wasn't working online and it online it told me to call the hotline the hotline was closed for the day i bought a new flight tried to cancel the existing one and same thing can't cancel it online got a call up so i'm trying to get credit for that flight so friday afternoon spent ages on the phone they say we'll call you back. The call never comes. Yeah. So then I've had to do it again today and go through the whole thing. Same things happened. She's like, call me back in half an hour.

That was meant to be just before you guys got here. Still hasn't come through. And I'm like, if this call happens again, I cannot fucking miss it. Yeah. Yeah. If this call comes through, I cannot fucking miss the call. Right. I cannot go through explaining the whole

story again to someone in a call center yeah so if this if this happens while we're doing this right i'm sorry to you and the listeners yeah i am going to have to take the call that's fine as long as we can just hear the whole conversation i don't want to hit stop at any point i don't hear what happens it'll all happen live on the air and i will be asking the person from virgin what they think about the idea of a gig happening inside a Hungry Jacks. Great. I think the listeners want to hear your phone voice. I think that's the number one thing.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Your affected, clipped British accent that you use on the phone so famously. Yes. Yes. What was I going to say? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That's what I was going to say. Yes. Look, being on the phone to Virgin, that's interesting because – Speaking of being on the phone to Virgins, what's this story going to be about? I was just – that's one of the – listeners rang me the other day. Yes. No, we're doing the Sydney gig.

Now, that is back-to-back with me going on a little family holiday for the first time in a long time. Yep. We're going to the Gold Coast, the Thailand of Queensland. And we're going there right back to back with this Sydney gig. So I'm sort of having to explain that to my wife. I'm explaining to her, don't say her name. And she's saying, oh, so how's that going to work? You're going to fly down and fly back up in the same day.

And I'm like, no, no, no, I'll just change the flight. And she's like, oh, I bought the flight. So I'm like, yeah, it's really easy. All you have to do is spend this long on the phone to Virgin to change my flight for me. That's easy. You can't do it online? Well, aren't you, you're asking the question that you've already asked yourself. Well, I mean, that's the thing.

It's like, in theory, you're meant to be able to do these things online. Right. This is what they tell you on your ticket when you get the email. Yeah. I don't know why it wasn't working for me. But in theory, that is a service that they have set up that you potentially can use. I've done this a couple of times and I've given up on that bit. And I'm like, you know what?

It's just one of those things where, you know, sometimes in life you just have to do the hard yards and that's how it works. And get your wife to call up and fight your battles for you. Well, she bought it. So, I mean, I would do it. I don't think I can do it. Can I? I don't think I can do it. You just need the booking reference.

Really? Yep. And her name. Which is? Duna. That's classified. Duna. Classified.

Duna. That's not bad, actually. That's not. Doona. Classified. Yeah, Doona. Doona. That's not bad, actually. That's the mother of Blanket. That is the... Doona. Yeah. That is a bigger version.

Yeah. It goes on top. Bigger, older version. Yeah. Yeah, okay. That's not too bad. The Blanket kind of nestles up to it. Blanket and Doona.

Doona's like... Blanket is sort of quirky, but Doona is not complimentary, I think. Blanket's kind of cute in spite of the fact that it is linked to possibly the most famous pedophile in history. Duna's like, Blanka is sort of quirky, but Duna is not complimentary, I think. Blanka's kind of cute in spite of the fact that it is linked to possibly the most famous pedophile in history. Yes. But hey, I don't think he was a pedophile with them. No. But still, it has a sus implication attached to it.

Duna, I don't know. It's kind of nice. It's kind of nice sounding. Or maybe I'm just thinking, I mean, I'd rather have a doona than a blanket. No offense. If I had to pick one, what would you rather be rugged up with? No, a doona. A doona for sure.

Totally. Wins every time. Blanket could be scratchy. I think a blanket is scratchy. Yeah, absolutely. Or maybe, you know, if you're in a different part of the world, what would you call it? Duvet. Oh, yeah.

This is my wife, duvet. Well, that is a bit nicer. That is. That's very elegant sounding. There's a bit of French to it. Duna. I like it. Duna.

That does sound dumb. I love you, Duna. Yeah. It's like, I'm so cold, I don't mind if you're dumb in the head. Yeah. I'm on Duna. I've been calling, of course, Doris Rosemount, my girlfriend. Yes.

The pseudonym that we came up with for her on this show. We still haven't even been to the Rosemount. But hey, Perth people, we came up with for her on this show. We still haven't even been to the Rosemount. But hey, Perth people, we haven't rearranged the date yet, but that's coming very, very soon. Sorry, guys. Everyone that's got their ticket, please hold on. We haven't officially said that, but we're going to try it again. We're going to push the dates back and just really try and make this happen.

Yeah. But apologies and thank you for holding on to the tickets and keeping the faith. How good is it going to feel when we actually get there? If. Don't say that. It'll happen. It's going to happen. Yeah, boy, this had better be some show.

Imagine if we go out and it's just a flat crowd after like a year of trying to do it. But yeah, anyway, Doris Rosemount. Good nickname for her but sort of slightly before we came up with that on the show, I had started IRL calling her Homer because her surname sort of sounds slightly similar to that. And she fucking hates it.

Oh, really? Yeah. And I go, well, if you want to get me back, you could just call me Marge. That could be a good way of you getting revenge. Okay. I'm going to call you Homer and you're not into it. Yeah. But man, it fucking brings me a lot of joy.

Yeah. Just calling her Homer really makes me laugh. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, it could be the same as don't say her name slash Doona, that whenever I come up with a nickname for her, she just calls me the same name back. Yeah, that's a good tactic.

And just claims it. Yeah, that's a good tactic. Just keeps saying it until all of a sudden it's like, I can't say this anymore. But the annoying thing with that is that kind of wouldn't, that wouldn't work for her to call me that because it's like, calling me that, it's like, well, Homer in the show is roughly my age. Yeah. I still think it does work.

He's fucking bald and stubbly and what, one of the funniest characters of all time. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I think ideally, but I think once she starts saying it to you over and over. Over and over and over. You start to go, actually, this is wearing things. Exactly.

There's only, I reckon there's only one time you can come up with that argument. Oh, well, actually, he's the funniest. Everyone loves Homer. And then she goes, okay, Homer. Well, actually, it's fine because he's about my – okay, Homer. Actually, fuck this name. I think I'd still like it, honestly. All right.

All right. What else we got? What else we got? Like I said, yeah, I'm officially clearing the Yumbo, so feel free to go and get the Yumbo, especially if you're going to Hungry Jack's Comedy. I mean, I would say if you go to Hungry Jack's Comedy, get anything but the Yumbo.

I would say that too. They've got so many more fantastic menu items. It'd be a shame to waste it on the Yumbo. Yeah, I just hope it hasn't ruined Hungry Jack's for me. Because you know what like do you do you have that from like being uh younger and drinking where you've had there's been like a certain drink that maybe you can't have anymore because you've had a terrible night out on it 100 but you don't even have to compare it to drinking like literal food poisoning like the last thing that you ate that you spew up yeah um you can't you can't ever go near it again it will for a very long time

anyway because it's just so linked to that negative feeling and in your head you kind of think like this is the thing that made me sick even though what's your truth is it's probably beforehand what's your checklist what's made you sick drink slash food uh well i'm not a big i'm not a big seafood person. And I went to – I talked about this on the bonus episode that we just did with Ben Lomas. I went on a date with someone and then got sick immediately afterwards staying at this person's house.

And we had shared everything on the menu. And she had been like, you've got to try the seafood. All the seafood stuff they do – this was at Chin Chin. She's like, oh, all the seafood stuff they do is so good. And I was like, yeah, like I said, I'm not, you know, this is not something I'm super into. She didn't really take no for an answer. So we just shared heaps of, which for something that I already wasn't that into,

it pushed me like getting food poisoning immediately afterwards. It was hard not to feel like this is why I steer clear of fish. I fucking knew it. I fucking knew this would happen. Now I'm in her bathroom in the middle of the night, big fish bones just coming out in the puddle of spew. That magazine stuff. A few cans, an old boot.

Great. So, yeah, that was a big one for a long time. Really thinking like I'd, yeah, I was right in my hatred of seafood. Yeah. I would say, what was it stones uh ginger was it ginger wine stones oh yeah yeah when i was young woodstocks were like the classic one for me growing up that like that was all i drank for the first like couple of years of getting on the piss chicken pad thai i went off for maybe a year i got sick on that in uh in uh phuket uh but yeah i think that's in terms of food i think that's just about it i don't actually yeah when i was in phuket

similar thing i was with an ex-girlfriend and she was like oh let's go to this fresh fish fish place i don't like seafood but just one night i want to have fresh fish and we got we both got food poisoning yeah that night wow it's fish every fucking time yeah right just putting this together yeah it's fish and being in a romantic setting yeah yeah it's women and fish women and fish yeah anything that smells fishy in any way absolutely that's what it is good lord yeah good Lord. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, all right. If Doris suggests a romantic candlelit calamari dinner. She rocks up over here with a trout. Yeah. Yeah, take off.

Yeah, batten down the hatches. Stock up on toot paper and hydrolite. That's it. Yeah. All right. So, in conclusion, come to the show in Sydney. The big 500th episode approaching in Melbourne. Oh, yes, of course.

Of course. That's not too far away. August the 14th? Something like that. Saturday? Saturday, August the 14th, I believe. Something like that. At the name theatre, not too many tickets left.

We're back to being allowed full capacity in theatres, which is fantastic for us, and us doing a full chock-a-block show there. So get in and snap up those remaining tickets. Once again, littledumbdumbclub.com. That's Melbourne. That's Melbourne. Of course, there is a rearranged Perth date coming very soon.

And dare I say, dare I tease, another show coming up on sale very soon. So keep an eye on the socials. Maybe we'll announce that in the next couple of weeks. Another big one. But, man, looking forward to just getting back around the country and not only doing that,

travelling to another city and actually doing a show rather than just turning around and coming home again. Yeah, well let's see. Make a change. Fingers crossed. But also,

big thank you to everyone who subscribes to us on patreon.com slash little dum-dum club that they get to listen to this episode, they get to listen to the bonus episodes that you've magnificently teased there. We just did one with Ben Lomas.

We do ones with all sorts of great guests, and they're nice little compact two episodes a week that you get chucked out there, and you also feel content in the fact that you are supporting the show and keeping the lights on in here, especially you fine fellows that all signed up basically at the start of the pandemic to get us through that long, long, long winter that went longer than a winter goes. Yep. A long financial winter. Thank you very much. What awesome, lovely people you are.

Now, let's spotlight anywhere between 200 and 1,600 of those right now. Let's crank up the UTA. Let's get some names out and give thanks properly and individually. Yes. Thank you very much. First cap off the ring this week to Patreon subscriber Jonathan Parker. Hate this. Why?

Exactly. You heard the pronunciation there. What is this? It's a fucking lot of Johns together. Oh, yes. It's a regular Jonathan. Yeah, yeah. Too many Johns. Yeah, yeah. fucking lot of johns together oh yes the regular jonathan yeah yeah too many johns yeah yeah it's

um is this like is this like a sort of is this like a non-binary thing instead of they them i'm a jonathan yeah i'm many johns yeah it's uh yeah there's a there's a lot of him to get through so he's trying to give that hint in the name there's uh it's going to be just john's all night with me yep um but it is a it is that's how it's spelled j-o-n-a-t-h-o-n i'm not putting this on you i'm saying the fault lies with uh mr and mrs parker i know but i just i just want to clarify because even to my own eyes i'm thinking surely not it looks like you've made a typo surely not not me and not oh sorry not the unplanned title author name because, as we know, it's absolutely fault-proof.

It hasn't been a mistake made yet. So why would it start with a simple little name like Jonathan? Jonathan. Well, yeah. If anything, you would think the mistake would be spelling it correctly because it would look at it and go, there's no way. There's no way this name is meant to be spelt like this. Why would you?

A little red underline under that. Why would you mess with perfection as a parent Why would you look at Jonathan and go I got a little idea I want to play with here Yeah it's interesting to look at it and go I want one of the most classic names imaginable But I still want to put my own little You know what I mean

To sort of be so mundane but also a bit of creative I don't want to put I'm not as much of a dickhead to put like i'm not i'm not as much of a dickhead to put like an umlaut above one of the letters but i want to put my own little special touch i don't want my kid confused with an apple right yeah jonathan hmm i just yeah do you reckon he's one of these guys that actually does do a bit of that do you reckon people go oh hey jonathan it's like actually it Jonathan. Well, I guess if you just say Jonathan quickly, you sort of are saying it a bit more like an O than an A.

But I wonder if what he's doing, you know, if you're ever at a cafe or whatever and one of you will order a diet Coke and then that forces the next person to go, I'll have a regular Coke, please. They can't just say Coke. They've got to differentiate. Even though they're having the original one,

they're having to sort of like overextend what they're ordering. So anyone in this guy's class is forced into a similar position. We're going, no, I'm Jonathan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe Nathan. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, that does.

Oh, you know what? That's my weekly reminder of Thailand now that you said that. Because now that it's John Nathan, Nathan is the west side of Koh Samui. Oh, okay. That's the town on the west side of Koh Samui. Right. There's a pier on there. But it's sort of like the forgotten side of Koh Samui.

Right. It's more like the local side. So it's not very touristy. Okay, right. Nathan. Nathan. So lovely and nice that I went there once rode the scooter over there and then i went to a market and then a guy just came comes up to me and goes um are you the guy that just left his scooter over there and i

was like oh it could be anyone's scooter and he's like well whoever it was left his keys in it and i was like yep that was me yeah nice nice you. Is that side of the island where your family live? Because it's locals only. Yeah, well, look, I wouldn't like to say that so that people harass them. It's like my phone number getting out there. Yeah, yeah, right. I don't want to make it easy for people to just look up the Nathan phone book and find Chandler and harass them.

Sure, sure, sure. So who knows where they live? Yeah, flights are off. They'll be swimming across there to Badger. Yeah. Badger the Chandler's secret family. John Nathan. Yeah, I are off. They'll be swimming across there to Badger. Badger the Chandler's Secret Family. John Nathan. Yeah, I hate it.

John Nathan. I hate it. Parker I don't like. Oh, you don't like Parker? Nah. That's, what? Yeah. I thought a good, if I had been some sort of techno music group or whatever,

I would have gone with Parker Brothers as a name. That actually is pretty good. Yeah, Parker Brothers. I thought you would have had a negative association towards it because of its link to famous comic book character Spider-Man. Oh, I'm fine with Spider-Man. It's fine. Yeah.

It's one of the few superheroes I'm fine with. Okay. I mean, I'm fine with whatever that is. I always think it's funny when adults are way too into that stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all. So Spider-Man, that's a classic story. Yeah.

It's fine. Peter Parker, I have no beef with. Okay. J. Jonah Jameson. Jameson, I've got no beef with. Classic. Mary Jane, how do you feel about her? Mary Jane, absolutely no beef with.

Fine by me. Gwen Stacy, not as good. Who's Gwen Stacy? That was his original girlfriend that died. Ah, right. I thought it was the uncle that died. More than one person can die. I don't know if you had the talk when you grew up.

You just thought of Uncle Ben as the one dead person in history. Yeah, I thought it was Uncle Ben and Kim Jong-il. The only two people I've ever heard about dying. I was feeling a bit Kim Jong-il. The only two people I've ever heard about dying. I was feeling a bit Kim Jong-il, actually. Oh, yes. And after this podcast, so may you be. What about Aunt May? Is that his aunt's name?

Yeah. Okay with. Fine with. Dr. Octopus. Pretty okay with. Pretty cool. Pretty cool supervillain. Cool character. Yeah. Good name. Pretty cool supervillain. Cool character.

Yeah, good name. Good design of a villain. Quite liked the Spider-Man Hall of Rogues. Electro. The Sinister Six? Is that what they're called? Yeah, was Electro in that? I think Electro might be...

You know who I liked? Mysterio. Yeah, I'm not as familiar with Mysterio. He was in the early morning cartoons when I was growing up. So one of those ones where Spider-Man had all these great villains, like when you were young, and then as you grow up and everything gets a bit more sophisticated and you have Venom and whatever.

Yeah. Then you look at the old- Venom fucking rules. Yeah, but then you look at the old ones and you go, oh, Electro is super lame now. He's got lightning bolts as a mask. Yeah. And, you know, Mysterio's got lightning bolts as a mask yeah and and you know

mysterio's got a fucking fishbowl head right it's like oh these are lame when you've just got this black demon that can do whatever the fuck it wants i do know mysterio mysterio is in the uh was played by jake gyllenhaal in one of the recent spider-man movies or maybe the most recent spider-man movie rhinoceros the big? The big fucking rhino? The rhino. The rhino. Rhino. Yeah. Not much going on there.

But it's hard to argue with just a big cunt who has a fucking horn on his head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big animal. It's fine. Yeah. Thanks, Jonathan. Thanks, Jonathan. And all the lovely memories you've inspired there.

Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Oliver Pappas. Pappas? Now, is that how you pronounce that? I've seen that name multiple times out there. It's obviously like a Greek name, but is it just straight line? Is that Pappas? I can't really think of any other way that you would pronounce it. I wonder if this is

shortened. I wonder if it's Greek. That's very short for a Greek surname. If it was much longer and they just I wonder if this is shortened. I wonder if it's like some, if it's Greek, that's very short for a Greek surname. If it was much longer and they move over here and they're like, I'm sick of having to fucking spell this out for people. Let's just make it easier on ourselves. You think we've got another Jonathan

where we've just fucked with nature? A little bit. Change something up. A little bit. Could be. I mean, look, I was just thinking of maybe the famous soccer player, football player, Jean-Pierre Papin. It was P-A-P-I-N.

And that was Papin. Okay. So this guy could be Papas. Papas. But he's probably not French. He's probably Greek. So maybe not. Papas.

It's got to be Papas. Papas. Oliver Papas. That's an odd mix of English and Greek. Don't you think? One of my dad's favourite little bits growing up was, have you heard about this guy, this Greek gynaecologist, Dr. Pappas Smearos.

Oh, my God. He was telling that to you growing up? Yeah. I don't think I even knew what a Pappas Smearos was. Where do you think I got it from? I don't even know what a Pappas pap smear was until I was about 25. Maybe that's how it got in my head. Right.

This ethnic surname gives me an idea. Right, right. Oliver. Oliver, please, sir, may I have some more papas? P-A-P-A-S. There's not heaps to play with here, is there? I like the name all of it, though I do like it

Perhaps I'm intrigued by it now that I'm looking at it Like I said Like you've said Generally the Greek names are quite long and a bit unwieldy But this is wieldy, I think Yeah You can wield this Yeah

I think a lot more Greek names could do with a lot more compacting. Yeah. I think, you know. The Pappas method. Yeah. I mean, the Greeks invented everything. Why couldn't they invent a fucking short surname? Yeah.

And maybe this is their, maybe this is their, finally their, they've done it. They invented a dick going up an ass and it doesn't get more compact than that. Yeah. That's as wieldy as it gets. Yeah. They, yeah, when they invented that, maybe that was, do you reckon that was like the last thing they invented? They were like, what else is there?

Yeah, you'd have to imagine. Well, certainly it would have been the last thing that they invented because like once you come up with that, I can't imagine too much else more is getting done. Very distracted all of a sudden. Especially when you come up with up with that yeah a lot less free time all of a sudden yeah yeah it's like you know it's the last place you look yeah anal sex it's the last thing you invent yeah not much motivation after you get that one cooking yeah yeah once you once you finish one of them it's like i might just have a rest all of a sudden supposed to be inventing stuff the rest

of the day but now i can't really not many not enough hours like, oh, I might just have a rest. All of a sudden. Supposed to be inventing stuff the rest of the day, but now I can't really. Not many, not enough hours in the day. Yeah. Yeah. Might just fine tune this invention again tomorrow instead. How many people do you think like make an anal pilgrimage to Greece? Oh. This seems like a riff that surely we would have gotten on at some stage before, but it's like.

I don't think so. You know, I went to Italy two years ago because it's like, love the food want to go to the source same with japan you know you love all this stuff you want to get you know you want to get close to where it happened just going to greece with your partner and people like oh so you want to go to the beaches or see the culture or have the food it's like no i just want to have anal with the miso in the home of it well where at all we're at ground zero do you reckon you go around to, like, there's a bunch of bordellos in Greece and they've all got the sign, you know, where anal began. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

The home of anal. They're all like the pizza houses. Best pizza in Rome. Right. Best anal in Athens. The original, like, pizza place in Naples, all that kind of. So they've worked it out where a dick first went up an arse and it's a little hotel you can stay in for the night

and just really pay your respects. Do you reckon there's a difference between the north and the south in terms of anal as well? They've probably got slight little kinks between the two of them. Yeah, a slightly kinky version of anal sex. Well, maybe up north they sort of prefer, you know, doggy style. Where down south, they'd rather you be flat on your back. Yeah, okay.

Could be. What's your preference? Flat on the back, I think. Really? Yeah. Interesting. Very interesting. What about you?

Just happy to get an invite. Just happy to be in the region. Wherever he wants to put it. Yeah, exactly. Right. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I've sat the region. Wherever he wants to put it. Yeah, exactly. Right. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I've sat on a flight for 28 hours to get there.

If I'm in Greece, I'm not fussed about which part of the country. Right. Well, they're the masters. Yeah. Yeah. I'm happy to be led. I'm happy to be gone. You don't want to come over and sell ice to the Eskimos, do you?

No, no. No lonely planet in the back pocket for me. I'm getting there. I'm like, you tell me. I'm finding getting there. I'm like, you tell me. I'm finding a local. I'm like, you take me around. Where would you eat? Yeah.

Where do the locals go to have fun? Don't give me any of this touristy anal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want an old school. Don't send me to the Greek equivalent of Young and Jackson's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to get fucked up the ass in the Athenaeum. All right. Well, thanks, Oliver.

Thanks, Oliver. Sincerely, thank you. I thought we had nothing there for a minute, and then all of a sudden we had the best. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Tim Beasley. Tim Beasley. God, I don't know how we're going to work anal sex into this one. Yeah.

Getting fucked up the ass by Kim Beasley. I guess. I guess. Kim Beasley and Tim Beasley. Wow, that is very... Strange, isn this one. Yeah. Getting fucked up the ass by Kim Beasley. I guess. I guess. Kim Beasley and Tim Beasley. Wow, that is very... Strange, isn't it? Yeah. He sounds like a former...

What was he? Politician. He then became, I think, one of those guys that is an ambassador to Australia. Oh, okay. One of those people that gets fucked over and then suddenly, all of a sudden, they get the coveted ambassador in another country. And I believe they just sort of do fuck all. I think he went to America.

It's kind of the dream, isn't it? Yeah. It's a real sweet – it'd be great if comedy worked that way. Hey, you're a failed open mic-er. You're not getting gigs here. So what we're going to do is every now and then we're going to send you over to London to pop into the comedy store over there and just see how they're doing it and come back and report. Yeah.

Yeah. But the thing is, like, so the one that's coveted is obviously, like, the London and New York ones. It's really, like, if you, say, if you did have the penchant for seeing where anal began, if you wanted to be the ambassador to Greece, that might be a bit easier. Yeah, that's true. Not as coveted. Where would you, if you had to be the ambassador to Greece, that might be a bit easier. Yeah, that's true. Not as coveted. Where would you,

if you had to be the ambassador to someone, you can't pick Southeast Asia. You can't pick Southeast Asia. There we go, okay. Yeah. I'm fully aware. Sorry, I thought the virus might have been getting to you already.

Apart from that, where would I choose? Where would you want to be the ambassador to? Oh, God. I don't really know. You're going to spend a lot of time. I reckon I would almost be up for suggestion. I mean, it would be a thing where, say, the post was, like, for a year.

If you're going to say for a year and someone said, okay, you can go to Poland or Denmark or Croatia, I'd be'd be like okay one of those anyone you know somewhere you don't yeah somewhere i don't really have much idea about it would be interesting i think you would want to pick it based on i don't really know if i i mean i don't know much about how those jobs work whether you're coming back back and forth not particularly but it's not a it's not a back and forth job because something you know it's tempting to go well where would be cool to just basically live but it's a little bit deeper than that because it's like i love japan and there's been points where i've thought like it would be so good to live in japan but from what i understand being english speaking being white and living japan it's actually like it's quite difficult to kind of get on there like whether or not you speak the language

you do really feel like an outsider but having that kind of job you would kind of always have people around you that can show you around so that sort of stuff wouldn't exist like the difficulties of living there yes you've always got a connection so picking anywhere english-speaking almost seems like a waste yes somewhere where you're traditionally going to be more of an outsider where you're getting like the inside track well i treat very well would be great i reckon it i reckon it wouldn't be a bad job at all because from what I know of it, it's like you're going to parties and stuff all the time. Like, for example, when we went to Serbia and we did that gig in Serbia, apparently from what I heard, there was Cody, Nick Cody from the show,

did a gig there the year before. After us, Ray Badren did a gig there. Somehow we were in the middle where we missed out on this, but the ambassador for Australia and all of his cohorts turned up and absolutely got fucking sideways at both of those shows. That's such a... And didn't come to us. Yeah, that's such a shame.

Yeah. I wish I... Maybe I didn't know the Cody thing when we went over. Certainly, I didn't know the Ray thing because it hadn't happened yet. But if I could go back in time with that knowledge, the Cody thing when we went over certainly I didn't know the Ray thing because it hadn't happened yet but one of the if I could go back in time with that knowledge

that's one thing I would go harder on trying to make that happen or just go just put anything into making that happen yeah because what a great shame

I think I knew about it coming up to it but I just presumed having been told oh that's just a thing that happened I think we got told it was yeah

and then and then after it I was like I think that was probably a thing that happens. I think we got told it was, yeah. And then after it, I was like, I think that was probably a thing because we did the gig there on a long weekend. So the ambassadors

just fucked off for the long weekend for some reason. Ah, right. Yeah, that's right. I'd say that was why. But yes, great shame because there would have

been a bit more pressure on us, I think, as well. Mm-hmm. Trying to do them proud. Yep. The gig probably would have gone a bit better, though. Yeah. Having a few allies in the crowd. Yes, oh, look. Trying to do them proud. Yep. But. It probably would have gone a bit better though. Yeah. Having a few allies in the crowd.

Yes. Oh, look. Couldn't have gone worse. Imagine if it had. Imagine having the ambassador from your own country in there and bombing even harder. Nah, we were okay. It was fine. It was fine.

We put some of that out. We put some of that recording out. We did. As a bonus, I believe. It was a tightly edited version by you, I believe. Oh, yeah. And I did listen to it back and went, fuck, we were pretty good. And then I looked at the time and went, oh, there's about an hour missing out of that.

Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Thanks, Tim Beasley, the new ambassador for comedy in here. The Beas Knees. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Michael Hounslow. Hounslow. Popular.

A little frequent poster on the socials. You ain't nothing but a Hounslow. Oh, not too bad. Posting all the time. He's active. He's active.

He's one of those people that will stick in a big fucking knife on the socials. He's one of those people that will stick in a big fucking knife on the socials. He's one of those guys and then he'll be one of those guys, in my memory, one of those guys is like, ah, yeah, it's because you boys are shit. And I'll be like, who the fuck are you? And he's like, oh, the guy that just fucking bought seven tickets to your show. I was like, oh, okay, cool. Yeah.

You're all good. Okay. As long as you're paying, you're allowed to say what you want. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. That's it. As long as you're paying, you're allowed to sell what you want. Absolutely. That's it. As long as you're a patron, as long as you contribute, we'll look past some of the funny business. But these freeloaders, you're not allowed to call me a cunt.

I'm sorry, but that's the rules. That's the rules. That's fair enough. That's what my mum always said. That's fair enough. If you're not paying me any money, you can't call me a cunt. Your mum always said that? And then what?

You whipped out your pocket money, said, here, take this back, mum. That's it. You cunt. That's it. Never got paid. Oh, yeah. Had to steal magazines down at Richie's Newsagents instead. Oh, wow.

Didn't go down well with Mrs. Richie. But Hounslow, a Queenslander he is. Oh, yep. Do you remember? And hey, maybe we might be up that way someday. Hopefully. So I would expect Mr. Hounslow would be straight on board. Well, you're up there in just a few short days.

I am. You can visit him. We wouldn't go that far. You could. Unless he's in the Gold Coast. Yeah. And then I won't visit him. Hey, look, I'm sure he'd be happy to come down

and rub shoulders with the great man. Come up, mate. Oh, pardon me. Pardon my French. Pardon my French. Fucking hell, Rand McNally. Get on to it. Yeah, fuck.

We did do a gig in the Gold Coast. Were they all travellers, or do we have any listeners in the Gold Coast at all? I think we had a couple. I think they were. I mean, it's relatively pretty easy to get to the Gold Coast from Breezy. I think there were a couple of Gold Coast natives, but certainly a lot of people made the trip down from Breezy. Yeah.

Looking forward to it. Just the desperate version of Thailand that I'm using, just going, this is as close as I'm going to get for a fair while. You know, you're on a beach. Yeah. Got good weather. Got a pool. I know.

It's ticking all the boxes. I know. It gets shit-canned a lot, but when we went there that time, I was like, this is not bad. That's the thing. In my head, I think of the Gold Coast as just Surfers Paradise, and specifically Surfers Paradise during schoolies from what you see on TV. And then you do that drive from the airport, and you're like,

oh, yeah, there's all this bit along before you get to Surfers that's just really nice. It's not all teenage girls being thrown off balconies to their death. Yeah. You know, there's good bits as well. Yeah. Whenever you hear about people falling out of balconies, it's always the Gold Coast. Why is that?

What is it that's so faulty or what is it that's so… High concentration of balconies and people being pissed is the magic combination. I guess you're right. Yeah. There's probably people getting as drunk in like Townsville, but there's just not as many high-rises. Yeah.

Good idea, Townsville. Yeah. Keep them flat. Keep it. Yeah. Nothing above two stories. Keep it a flat Townsville. Because people are getting too drunk.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. No wonder there's nothing more than two stories in Mirabar. That's good. Good thinking. Wow. Throw yourself off it. Don't even need to be drunk.

Yeah. There's a big tower. Will we ever go back to Mirabar one day? I wonder. I don't know. There's a big tower in Mirabar, the Bristol Hill Tower. Show up the top of it? No, I wouldn't say that.

It is just one of those things where do you really need a tower when you're in sort of a bit of a shithole like there's nothing much to look at once you get up to the top of it yeah and like even when they're building it's like why are we doing but some people just like to see just the land yeah sure just every you know it doesn't matter what's on it it's just getting a sense of the the scale of things is enough to some people. Well, a lot of people go up there with full bladders. I know that. Because every time I've ever been there, it's just absolutely covered in piss. Really?

Okay. I never knew why. Pistol Hill Tower. Yeah. I never knew what it was that made people... Maybe it was that thing where... Because there was nothing over two stories in Maryborough. As soon as someone got that high, their bladders were just out of control.

Right. They just exploded. It shrunk with the altitude or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Their bladders got altitude sickness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just went boom. Yeah.

Need a Sherpa to piss on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, thanks, Michael Hounslow. Thanks, John Michael Hounslow. All right. Let's do one more. Yeah. I feel bad being in the same location as you in case you get sick.

I'm really stressing out, to be honest. It's a little bit like the... I've really been able to concentrate for the last hour. It's like how they won't put the president and the vice president on the same airplane. We shouldn't be in the same room doing this. Because if we both go down at the same time, you know, podcasting, comedic podcasting in Australia is in big, big trouble.

Exactly. Being the only comedy podcast we have in this continent, people are going to be having to import comedy podcasts from other countries. Yeah. That takes a few weeks. Yeah. They're going to have to be listening to the little, the little, Silly, silly to the little silly, silly.

The little silly, silly billies. Hello, mates. Welcome once again into the little silly billy club. My name is Tony Govner. Oliver Cromwell. And with me as always, it's Carl Crompert. No, not Carl. It's Cecil Crompert. Cecil Crompert. me as always it's carl it's uh it's uh cecil it's cecil crumpet uh hello hello uh hello you muppet yes

um uh all right all right let's let's let's get into it's getting Let's get into the final. The fifth name. Oh, yeah, the fifth name, as it were. The fifth and final name. Yep. All right. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Oh, okay.

Oh. Yeah. No, no, this is just taking my fancy. I just had to have a look at it the second time. I'm just a little bit surprised at the name. I saw the surprise. Yeah. I heard it too. I just don't think we've ever had this before.

Well, we haven't had any of these names before. Well, sorry. Sorry. I should clarify myself. I always like to give a bit of context, and I didn't do that then. So I'm sorry, everyone, to Tommy and the listeners. I don't believe we've ever read out two Greek names in the same reading. That's all.

It's insane that you have a memory of that. Yeah. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Anal Comedyopoulos. I was going to say, anal comedy has certainly been read out before. I feel quite confident in saying that. Well, that's not what it was. Anal Comedy Opelopoulos. Yes.

That is a first. Yes. That is a first one. Exactly, exactly. Wow. Thank you to all our Greek listeners. Yep. But those two in particular.

Yep. Yep. Yeah, thank you to everyone who supports the show. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub Get yourself two bonus episodes Every week Come see us, Sydney May the 15th for the podcast May the 16th for the solo shows

August the 14th I believe in Melbourne LittleDumbDumbClub.com is where you can find all those tickets Check all that stuff out Thanks very much for listening. And we'll see you next time. See you, mate.