The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 555 - Live! Craig Reucassel, Cam Knight & Kyle Legacy

Episode Date: May 19, 2021

Well folks, if you like our loose live episodes and when bad things happen to us, then get ready to be rock hard for over an hour. We're up in Sydney and we're having tech issues on a magnitude that we've never experienced before (citation needed). Milan steps in to cover Tommy rushing to the tech booth before CRAIG REUCASSEL steps in to try and help save our asses. KYLE LEGACY makes his debut on the show because literally every other comedian that we know in Sydney was doing a showcase or the Gala, and CAM KNIGHT arrives just in time to take part in RAD DAD! That's right, after everything else we went through in this episode, we still decided to do a Rad Dad. Ok everyone, it's in your hands now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a new episode, quote-unquote, recorded live in Sydney with guests Craig Rewcastle, Cam Knight and Kyle Legacy. Now, we do need a bit of a disclaimer up the top here. If you were in the room, you surely knew this was coming. Now, this might be unfamiliar to a lot of you listening, but we had some tech issues in the show. For the first few minutes, there's a weird popping sound coming through the recorder, which you will hear for a few minutes,

and then you'll hear us dealing with it. There's then a couple of minutes of a voice memo from someone in the crowd, and thank you to that young man for recording that and airdropping it to me after the gig. And then we go into a backup recording from our tech, and the following hour or so of the episode is completely clear quality. But yes, we do address it and we do talk about it

and it leads to a lot of chaos in the show. But it's only for the first few minutes that you will have to deal with hearing that in your ears. So bear with us and then, yeah, you're into the episode. Anything you care to add, Carl? No, I think that covers it all. Good luck, everyone. We've got some feedback already off the back of this show

that was not entirely positive. Yes. Feel free to email us. Not to email us right now until you've heard. Yeah, get all the way through. Get the full list of complaints before you bother with us. This is a big chance of being an episode where the disclaimer goes for longer than the actual episode that you're about to complain. Get all the way through. Get the full list of complaints before you bother with us. This is a big chance of being an episode where the disclaimer goes for longer than the actual episode that you're about to hear.

But yes, look, strap in, see what you think of this, and enjoy this episode recorded live in Sydney with Craig Rewcastle, Cam Knight, and Kyle Legacy. Hey, mates, welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dassler. I'm with me as always the other half of the program, fresh from taking a big piss backstage during the Welcome to Country, Carl Chandler! So we're in Sydney. For people that don't know, there is a point in history right now where in Sydney everyone to go to a gig has to wear a mask. Yeah. Which is worth pointing out.

It's not news to you guys because you're wearing them, I realise. But look, I guess this isn't too different to us, Tommy. We definitely did have a couple of nights during the Comedy Festival in Melbourne where we couldn't see anyone laugh. Yeah. We are taking a big risk by coming up here to New Sick Wales, so we'll need you guys to really, really give us a lot of volume to punch through that fucking cloth that you've got over your heads.

I mean, not to sound like Hughesy, but you all look fucking ridiculous, I have to say, quite honestly. This is, this is. Not only, not only, right, not only is everyone in the audience wearing a mask, but out of all these people here that are wearing masks, I can only see one person that's wearing one of our branded ones. Also, you can see a couple of people with the masks off and I don't know whether to be awesome or you fucking cunt.

I mean, I read the thing. It's like if you're drinking, you don't have to have the mask on. And I thought, well, we'll be fine. Obviously, we won't see a single mask in this place. And also, we brought Milan, so we thought, well, no one will need a mask tonight. Also, I like the idea. I love the idea here that tonight, because we're in quite a big space and everyone's got the mask on. But it's also because it's a big space and uh everyone's got the mask on but

it's also because it's a big space and we haven't sold it out everyone's been pushed forward so it's like you are wearing a mask but also let's cram everyone fucking close together so yeah yeah and the lights are bright we can't see so if this goes really well and we want to crowd surf i think we're going to be oh yeah eating pavement about four rows back. Let me have a... Shouldn't have done that. That is depressing. Don't look too far back, Tommy. Yeah, well, you know, we did put this on pretty last minute, so

shout out to YouTube and the great minds that it's produced. It's the only reason we're up here now. A little bit of context there, Tommy? No, that'll do. That'll do, I reckon. Let's move on. If you got it, good for you.

If you didn't, actually better for you, honestly. Yeah. Still not seeing many smiles out there but there's two reasons for that, I think. We need to get Milan out here to get a drink for everyone in this audience so that people can have their fucking masks off

and we can bask in a response for at least five minutes. Don't do that. He'll actually do it. So don't say that. Don't fucking say that. Oh, God. What, sorry? The recorder's ticking in.

What does that mean? It's popping. Right. Well, that's because we're getting laughs, so that's good, I think. But, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, by the way, people in the audience can't hear what you're saying to me, can they? Oh, they can?

Oh, well, that's good. No, no, no, I was worried that i looked insane instead of just unprofessional how could they not hear it you're not wearing headphones i've got a lot on my plate at this current point in time to be honest i've got a lot i've got a lot to deal with um yeah, I actually, I'm sort of in the middle of something. So I don't, like, I know we do need the recording, but yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think we, if we knew more about tech, we'd be you. So if you could. Right.

And I did say yell out if there's an issue. And I say that to every tech. And wouldn't you know it, in 10 years, it's never come up. And now that it has come up, I really don't know what to do with this information. He's done exactly what I said. Like, yeah, let us know. And he came through the speakers.

He was like, I'm nailing it here. I'm doing what he asked me to do. And now I'm turning on the cunt, going... Yeah, yeah. To be honest, the only person we can really forward you to is you. So... I mean, this is going really well. It's a real shame that it won't be recorded.

I hope that pop that you can hear isn't coming over the top of the laughs. Yeah, and if it is at home, if you can't hear any laughs, that's the text problem. Yeah. So. Do we have any amateur techs in the crowd who can like go up the back and have a look for us? Yeah. Don't put your hand up Milan. Yeah.

Yeah. You're amateur a lot of things, but not tech. So yeah. Put your hand down. Has it just miraculously fixed itself by us not doing anything about it? Now that we're bombing and getting no laughs, has that fixed it? I think the last 20 minutes or so, I think we'll fix it real good. Yeah.

No, he's going to get the mic out? Is he going to tell us something? No? Yep. It's still doing it? It's still doing it. Do you maybe want to come up here and i'll i'll take the show so what what what are we aiming for here what what what's

happening at the moment tommy do you that we think's happening is is it at the moment is it sounding really bad on the recording is there a i think at the moment what he's telling us is that there's like a pop sound coming through the recorder right coming out of the desk so every now and then there's just a pop yeah so look if we just build that into the content of the show you know we might if we can just give a bit of context and go um guys because we're in sydney we decided to do something special we decided to blow up a paper bag yeah and just step on it every 10 seconds. Yeah, exactly. Or we could just do a bit of like, thanks for fucking me in the ass, Carl,

now it's time to pull out. If we can just be doing something like that every few seconds, I think we'll be fine. Alright, alright. I was watching for the tech to give us a thumbs up and he didn't do that. Is it the crowd mic again? Is that the issue? Do you want to kill the crowd mic maybe?

Do you want... Should I kill myself? I don't know. It's your equipment. It's your equipment. He's saying if you want to hang yourself with your own cord, you can do that. Right.

Are you coming through on the recording? Because that killed. The people at home would love to hear that one. As long as you're not popping, that should be fine. Should I crowd surf or something just to give you a few minutes? Hang on, hang on. That'll leave up all of 30 seconds. Hang on.

Milani's literally helping the tech. This cannot be good. You can't help the tech by making him drink. That's not good. Yeah, from the sounds of it, the recorder's already got the hiccups. I don't think it needs more. I don't think it needs Milani. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never heard

a bit of electronic equipment be fixed by having a shot. Oh, fuck me. No, don't give Milan the mic. What the fuck's happening? Yeah. It's completely fucked.

Is it too late to get the YouTuber back in here for this time slot? What? Why are we here? Why did we... The one chick in the armour of this place is it can't record sound. So I blame myself. I chose to speak into this microphone. I shouldn't have done that. I can go up the back, but all I'm going to do is look at it and shrug my shoulders and go,

I don't know why this is happening. Yeah, sure. Why not? Turn it off and then on again. Turn the fucking podcast off and then on again, for sure. Let's start at episode one. Turn our brains off and then on again does anyone happen to have a zoom h6 in their pocket that they can put ligand on also i absolutely cannot wait to

get billed for the tech for this show so it should be awesome oh my head's pardon me do some talking dumb dumb all right so you know that we're, this is what Talking Dum Dum is. Talking Dum Dum talking, right? With no preparation whatsoever. Yeah, that's sort of what's happening. Honestly, we can't do that. You know, without like the UTA, I'll start popping. That's an interesting fifth name this week.

Tech comedy. Poop. missing fifth name this week, Ted Pondity. Poop. Alright, so we're really treading water here. Are we treading water for a reason or are we just inevitably going to drown? Are we waiting for something to happen or is this the first time

anyone's ever tried to record something in this room? Is that what's happening? Yeah. Oh, okay. I need to go up there apparently. Alright, my line could be play Tommy. See ya, rat cunts.

No, no, no. It's just me. If they know anything from my stand-up comedy numbers this no, no, it's just me. If they know anything from my stand-up comedy numbers this year, they don't want just me. These guys look like they're playing shots. Come on back, get some fucking shots with our friends or we're done with this venue. or we're done with this venue. What? What? What? Hang on, Tommy, what the fuck are you doing? That wasn't through the audience.

He's trying to, like, walk crowd-cert, I think. He's trying to be fixing the tech of the show. Jesus Christ. By the way, we have guests backstage that are going, what the fuck is this? Why are we here? Can we start again? We can start again.

For some reason, we want this recorded. We're working on that at the moment. I don't know why I'm here. I should not be here. Tom, this is your moment in the sun Milan, what's the best story? The sun? Yeah

Well, you're pretty pale That's probably a bad example But Have you got What's your best story? Because you are Sort of legendary In the comedy scene

Yeah You're legendary In her scene What is You You know what Every No What happens if you're a legendary person? What is... I wish I'd seen him. No. I'm probably down the world with you. Everybody in comedy knows you.

Secret section! That's what? Yeah, this whole thing's a fucking secret section. I'm not hearing any of this fucking shit. But Milan, what's your best comedy story? You're on Netflix specials. You're the subject of stories on Netflix. But not under my name.

Not under Milan. Right, right. It's under Kevin or John or Paul or Ringo. Well, that's you. Abbey Road's about you. I'm more Flabby Road. It's still good. I'm more Flabby Road. I've still got it. You'll get it.

What's your best story? What's your best story? If I could remember. I swear to God, I'm so drunk right now. I've been drinking the other day. I'm going to hang out with you fucks and I'll tell you every story and every story

for the rest of my life as long as Tommy doesn't come back. And he comes on my back. I'm out of here. I think I can literally hear our guests walking out. I think I can hear doors opening. It was shots.

No. Bar guy. Ben. Ben, I love you Ben. Of course, my arm walks in here for five seconds, he knows the bar guy's here. Kip him well, my kip wasn't big enough. Oh god, oh jesus, oh, there. They ran out of cook wheel for you. How much worse is this show than it usually is? I'm so sorry.

We're trying, we're trying. We're doing alright, we're doing alright. Thanks man. We're like, cause this could all be unrecorded. So this is free basically folks. Alright? Lower your expectations. Once it gets recorded, we'll start trying. We'll start bringing on better guests than who the fuck this comes from. Buy our merch. Our? So that's how you buy shots, with 10% of our fucking profits.

Are you on the merch desk after the show? I am, I'm on the merch desk after the show? I am. I'm on the merch desk. If you want to meet me and do shots, one t-shirt gets you six shots. What's going for that? Two t-shirts get you fucked up. Three t-shirts best night ever.

That's very funny to think of someone lying together with two T-shirts on their back fucking Milan This guy looks thirsty No, no they're our beers! Don't do that! I won't buy more! Oh, hold on.

I think I've got a couch. Hold on. It's interesting that everything is not buying random beers, okay? Yes, it is. Sorry, sorry. Just relax. Um.

Well, take the beer, pass it on. I'm here for you. Someone else might not be. You know what, I'm really trying to figure out whether people are super disappointed or not yet. All my exes are. Boys, do you want to know what the issue was? You fixed it.

India. No, just kidding. I've got fucking no clue what the issue was. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Do you want to know what the issue was? You fixed it. India.

No, just kidding. I've got fucking no clue what's going on. It's completely fucked, fellas. So am I! So what's the aim? What are we doing, Tommy? The aim would be at some point to do comedy and have it be recorded. Right. Okay, Interesting. Go on. Yeah, we're trying to get it back up going at the moment. But also, guys, if you can pull your bootlegs out, that would be great.

Wow. Can you tell Ben, the bar guy, that we need shots? Oh, my God. Welcome to the stage, everyone. Craig Rewcastle. I'm not fucking coming out here to do the show I'm just coming out to fucking turn my voice memo on So we have a fucking record of this show Oh great

Great me too I'm going to do tech here This is great Let's turn this on Right here we go Factory theatre Done There you go

We're recording now Tell me anytime you want to join us mate What the fuck I'm your recording as now. Tell me anytime you want to join us, mate. What the fuck? I have your recording as well. I know they told you not to, but none of you are wearing your fucking mask anyway, so you're not listening, are you? Yours is on. Mine's on.

We've got it in stereo now. Yeah, it's great. It's great. It's a great recording. It's great. I mean, it's fucking, I mean, I don't want to bitch at all, you know, but, you know, to be out the back there, to be, you know, there's a few of us out there waiting to come out and to go,

they fucking haven't got trouble here, right? They've got trouble. How are they going to solve this? And they get Milan, a man who's been at the past 550 shows and they've never fucking got on stage. How fucking good must he be? He's literally been here every single show they've never brought him up. They've gone,

who should we turn to? Craig out the back? Or fucking Millard? It became a bit personal at one point there. I'm not going to fucking lie to you. I thought he could take a bullet and we'd bring you out here when the going's good. What, when we're recording the fucking show?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's still people here. These are the people that matter. Yeah. Fuck you, little podcast. Oh, welcome to Stage Ever and Tommy Dasol. Tommy Dasol! I just came to say I'm heading off.

It's fucked. I'm going home. No, we've got a backup going now. We've got a backup recording going now. Yeah, yeah. Fucking hope it got my entry. Yeah, we got it a backup going now. We've got a backup recording going now. Fucking hope it got my entry. Yeah, we got it. We got it. We got it here.

We got it on these voice memos. The great thing about us recording our own show on the voice memo here is that we can fucking edit it as we like. You're going to see this. The version that comes out for me is going to be really great for me. Anyway, that's lovely. You all right, Tommy? You coming?

Should we do the whole intro again? Yeah, I'll be down there. Should we? I don't know. We've got to start with some popping, and now we've got to back up. I think we're all right. This is going pretty well.

Hey, I was watching you up the back. You guys have been pretty funny. Oh, nice. I don't know how you guys do it. I'd get way too nervous, honestly. When you were up the back, were you wearing a mask? Because you kind of should have been. Oh, shit.

Fucking tons of coronavirus. It's okay. If you take it back to Melbourne, it'll be fine. Yeah, I had a mask on. I was pretending I knew what the fuck I was doing up in that tech booth. How are we looking up there? In what sense? In the recording sense. Yeah, I said we've

got a backup. We've got a backup going on the text computer. Yeah, we've got a backup. It's got twice as many pops in it. Well, that was the thing. We only put this on sale two weeks ago because we were replacing someone else. By the way, if you bought tickets

to that initial show and you're here, we will glass each other later or something like that just to make it feel like you're not missing out, okay? Fuck, can I be first after the last few minutes? We're self-glassing. I'm not sure what's worse. But, yeah, I was sort of thinking, fuck, you know, because we only had like under two weeks' notice to sell tickets

and then we didn't sell it out. I was like, it's actually probably a good thing given what we're doing at the moment. I wish some of you had turned up actually. It's fascinating that you say you had two weeks to sell tickets. I go, I go behind the scenes of how this dum-dum club thing works, right? But they had two weeks to sell tickets and I listened to this show.

I mean, a fucking miracle. It's a great show. I listened to it. And I've listened for the last few weeks. I'd say even more than that, possibly, these two fuckwits going, buy tickets to Sydney, right? Yeah. You've been saying that?

I agree. It's been a lot of buy tickets to Sydney. We've got a show in Sydney, buy tickets to Sydney, right? Yeah. That would, in some people's mind, if you were, hypothetically speaking, the host of a podcast festival, when you do that,

you would also fucking ask somebody to be your guest, right? Alright, that's all the time we've got for Craig. Give it up. Pop. Milan's back. He's got beers. Don't, no, don't give them away. Don't give them away.

Hang on, you're giving people beers that already have beers, you idiot. I got in trouble because I didn't open them before I gave them out. You've got to open them. You know them. In charge of responsible service of alcohol tonight, Milan. This is getting better. Fucking hell. We've got Gimp Man on the record.

I don't know if I can Milan being responsible service of alcohol. This is really good, guys. Fucking hell We've got We've got Gimp Man On the record And fucking Milan Doing a responsible Service of alcohol This is really good guys Oh my god And I was literally Fucking playing soccer This afternoon

When I got a call going Can you come to the show Tonight Fucking hell I think it's actually Going quite well All things considered I reckon

I reckon this Wednesday There's a big old Best of Dumb Dumb running The old The one time That the summer series has happened in the middle of winter, I reckon. Do you want to get on the socials right now and say, sorry we had to cancel our live show in Sydney

at the last minute, everyone? No one upload your photos. They all had coronavirus. We had to cancel it. Welcome to Bermuda Triangle comedy, everyone. So what else is going on? Absolutely. Welcome to Bermuda Triangle comedy, everyone. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Oh, fuck it. So what else is going on?

The great question. The great question. Have I ever said that on the show? I love... There was a guy at our school. What are you doing? Well, I want to sit on this stool. I want to set the microphone on.

You look like you're about to put the microphone into a bucket of ice. Oh, yeah. That's what we need. Hang on. Let's just check if that's safe. Hang on. Is that safe. Oh, right. You look like you're about to put the microphone into a bucket of ice. Oh, yeah. That's what we need. Hang on, let's just check if that's safe. Hang on. Is that safe? Yeah, yeah. Hang on, putting something into a bucket of ice, I think that's what happened to the person we replaced to be there, so... Very nice.

Very, very nice. That is... There was a guy I went to school with that got knocked back by a girl. He was like, what's been going on? And the girl was like, nothing, go away. And he was like, cool. So what else has been going on? Fuck.

Wish I had that one up the sleeve all the times I got rejected when I was 16. Take the edge off. Should we get into the stuff we were planning to do in the opening of the show? Or would when I was 16. Take the edge off. Should we get into the stuff we were planning to do in the opening of the show or would it be a bit as the moment passed? Yeah, sure. After everything we've been through up here.

The audience, for those at home, have all just said nah. One person said nah. So that one person thinks that this has got another 40 minutes in it. Is that what you think, miss? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

So you had some prep for the top of the show. Oh, well, I was just going to say. Should I leave again? I mean, I just came out here to fill in for Milan. I'm happy to go back. Sorry, guys. Thanks anyway. Yeah.

Oh, all right. It's really more of a just me and Carl piece of comedy. I'm sorry, guys. I'll just sit here quietly and sip this beer. Don't watch it. Pretend I'm not here. We can't be funny when you watch us. Yeah, and when I listen to you.

Oh, it's just clicked for me why you enjoy listening to the show because you're so into recycling and everything. You like hearing people make the same fucking jokes everywhere. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. Green bag comedy. So what did we have planned for the start of the show? Well, no, we were going to tell you because he's been up here and we've been talking about it.

But as most people know, Milan actually lives in Melbourne. So you want to give the context and set the scene of why he's actually here. Right, so Milan, as you as the front row already know, is a very generous man. A very inexplicably generous man. And so he will take us out for drinks, he'll take us, he'll shout all these idiots' fucking

beers for some reason, and then he'll take us out for dinner, and we go to Rockpool a lot, which is, you've got Rockpool in Sydney, you know what Rockpool is, yeah? It's very off-brand for you, I've got to say. Oh yeah, because it's not our choice, it's Milan's choice. Oh, I was forced to've got Rockpool in Sydney, you know what Rockpool is, yeah? It's very off-brand for you, I've got to say. Oh, yeah, because it's not our choice, it's Milan's choice. Oh, I was forced to go to Rockpool. But he'll take us there and then he'll foot the bill

and we do everything we can to get around it, to pay for it. But it makes him very, very mad if you pay for anything. He thinks it's his obligation to pay for everything for some fucking reason. And just to set the scene of how hard we do try to actually pay, the last time we went, you messaged all of us and said, I'm going to get to the venue 45 minutes before. I'm going to order and pay for all our meals, so let me know what you want.

We all had to look up what we wanted, what it cost on the menu, like a couple of hours before we were meeting up for lunch. And then you got there and you tried to do it and they said, sorry, sir, we can't allow that. Yeah. Yeah, Milan had already got in before me and threatened to get everyone in trouble and get them sacked

if I'd got in there and paid first. He'd, like, covered all the bases. So then he did that. So then as revenge, this happened today. So Milan's obviously here. We all grabbed a flight for him to fly him up today. He didn't know about it until an hour before we put him on the plane. And then he's got up here.

He's got a hotel room. He's got the flight back tomorrow and everything like that. It's a shit hotel room. It's fine. It's a shit hotel room. Hey, Milan, if you wanted a good hotel room, you should have got Milan to get it. If it makes you feel any better, we're not having a great time up in this city either so far. It's not a great room here either. So yeah.

No, no, no, no. That's very unfair. No, no, no That's very unfair No, no, no These people Wow You came out here Alright, alright Who wants one?

Who wants one? Can I actually throw a beer in here or not? No, you can't throw a beer Even fucking Milan is smart enough You can't fucking throw a beer Into an audience of people Again, I know we keep making this joke Until you open to know you can't fucking throw a beer into an audience of people. Again, I know we keep making this joke. Until you open it, then you can throw it out.

I'm kidding. If I open it and just pour it, everyone can come past for a sip. Maybe. I know we keep making this joke, but it is turning more and more into the guy that we replaced up here by the second. I'll fucking pour a beer all over you, cunts. Yeah, get him, Carl.

Yeah. So we thought we were doing the right thing. We thought this is good because the ultimate goal is to get Milan, to make sure that he doesn't win, to get him. So we surprised him an hour before, got him in the cabin, got him out to the airport, flew here, and I'm like, fuck, we finally got Milan. And then halfway through the flight, flew here, and I'm like, fuck, we finally got Milan. And then halfway through the flight,

the flight attendant comes up and goes, some bloke up the front just ordered you six beers. I got given six beers on a one-hour flight. Yeah, Milan, not enough, mate, not enough. Fucking hell. Did you drink them all? I drank a couple. Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway. I'm unimpressed by that waist. Yeah. Yeah. You're fucking... Your alarm's going off now. Oh, yeah.

I've... What the fuck's happening? That's going to fuck up the recording. That's the only recording of this show. Why is this happening? I keep having this happen. My phone goes off. I don't know why it fucking goes off.

It's a reminder. Tell a funny joke. Okay, yeah. Where was that in the first five minutes? He's got it set to once a year. Anyway, big thanks to David Lynch for helping us plan this live episode of Little Dumb Dumb Club. What the fuck is going on?

I wouldn't like to be the poor fucker that edits this show, Tommy. That's all I'm saying. Neither would I. Well, lucky it's not being recorded. On the way out, guys, this's just going to take a little while. We need each of you to give an oral record of what you saw today. Yes. Just a bit of a recount.

Yeah, the first ever print episode of The Little Dumb Dumb Club. Live in Sydney in oral history. Should we get another guest out? I don't fucking know. Who's back there? All right. Yeah, let's welcome him out here. First time he's been on the show.

Good buddy of ours. Please welcome into the little dum-dum club, Kyle Legacy. Yay. Woo. We did it, baby. Fuck yes. We did it. Hello.

How we doing? We good? Yeah. Fucking hell. You told me this was going to be on Zoom. This is sick. We're all here, yo. That's fucking sick. My doctor's here.

Good to see you. This is fucking dope, innit? I was getting bored back there, to be honest. Well, we're getting bored now. Oh, shit. Fuck. Damn it. Thanks for being officially our last resort and coming here Fuck. Damn it. Thanks for being officially our last

resort and coming here tonight. You could book me via Uber. That's the best. A lot of people have managements and agents.

I'm like nah if you get me an Uber I'm here. I thought you actually meant if you book an Uber you turn up. Yeah.

That's quite a good system. The man this guy, I only met him tonight. He got into fucking Parliament dressed as Osama Bin Laden or whatever. That's crazy.

You can't even get into England Parliament dressed as a Scottish person. You know what I mean? And he's getting in dressed as fucking one of the best power forwards in the world. He got into Parliament dressed as Osama bin Laden. He couldn't get out of this gig, though. I think I've worked out what the issue with the recorder was.

It could see into the future. I'm out. I'm out. Now, you are from Liverpool. You are a fellow Liverpool supporter, which is part of the reason. I've got roasted by somebody that fucking looks like a puppet. It's bullshit.

Yeah, you're from Liverpool. You love Liverpool. I'm from Liverpool, Scotland. Swans. Swans. Wow. Swans. I was way off.

English is not your strongest point, and you come from England. But anyway. Yeah, I'm the fucking idiot. He's wearing a fucking scarf with swans on it. So I'm the ballerina. That's a bit ignorant here. Go the black swan. Does Liverpool have a, is there like an animal association,

or they don't do that thing where you have to have an animal association? It's not quite like the AFL. So the emblem is the liver bird, but it's not like go the birds. It's not go the live birds. You wouldn't say that, no. No, you wouldn't say that. No, so it's a little bit different. Go the reds, even though half the teams are red.

Yeah, okay. It's a little bit different. Go the primary colours. Yeah, yeah. That's how we chant for years. Go one third of the primary colours, yeah. Go not yellow and blue. Yeah. Or for you, go the greys. Yeah, yeah. It's how we chant for years. Go one third of the primary colours. Go not yellow and blue. Or for you, go the greys.

Yeah. Go some of the greys. Yeah. That was better than fucking that. But anyway, whatever. He's colourblind. He's making fun of a disability. Guys, he's humour blind.

He doesn't know what the humour is. Sometimes he stumbles upon it, but he's not sure. He never knows before. But you are... We were talking backstage because we went to Thailand. I think some people know about that. But you're a traveller. Some people know about the country of Thailand.

Some people. No one is listening to this podcast, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you were about a week off from us I think at one point when we were going to Thailand

you were like you know can I get on and you were about a week off oh for sure I was thinking about staying

in it but then I was like I'd done some part of Thailand I can't even remember what it was

Bangarore or something like that and I was in Amadeus as well first time I've ever stayed

in Amadeus probably the only time I've ever stayed in Amadeus I'm talking like swim up bar and shit. Like ball of shit. You know what I mean? Like sick.

And I met this guy from Blackburn with his missus who he hated and he was all inclusive so he paid for everything. So ball of shit. You know what I mean? There's something about you where you're just impressed you're in a fucking hotel. Pretty much.

Remember I sent you the videos? It said Formula One out the front. Ball of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm talking four towels, though. So whatever. Two of the little ones. I don't know what you did with them.

I won't cough into them. It's what I've always loved about the British system. They're kind of dull. It allows all of their people to just travel the world. Oh, you're assuming he doesn't have a job. That's weird. Oh, it's my turn to speak?

I would rather not for tax reasons. But I wouldn't even, like Thailand, it's like you guys love Thailand here because that's like your fucking sex tourist

or whatever. No, no, that's not... No, no, that's not... No, no, that's not what we love. Is there any English people here or European people or whatever? Where are you from in England, love? Guildford. Who said that?

Oh, it's you? I was looking on air. She looks like she's from Guildford. Who are you? She looks like she's getting fingered right now. If you're from Guildford, that's funny. Got a lot of listeners in Guildford. Did it?

She's not, did you? They might be the fingers working her head. For the puppet fans. So you know, we would go to where would you go? You'd go Benidorm, would you? I guess. Same as me. Benidorm, yeah.

So Benidorm is in Thailand, yeah. In Spain. Yeah. That's your holiday place. Yeah, yeah, right. I mean, we haven't been letting English people in, but is it time to send them home, maybe? You ain't seen my white skin.

So that's your Thailand, Benidorm. So you've been to Benidorm. Speaking of Thailand, because I'm fascinated by how the hell you're surviving right now when you can't go to Thailand. What the fuck? Man, honestly. I mean, you go to Thailand and...

Check out Benidorm. What? I understand right now when you live off the obscene amount of Patreon dollars from these people, but even like five years ago on this podcast, when you fucking did nothing, you were like there every three weeks. I don't understand that. Were you importing drugs?

What the fuck was going on there? No, my wife works for an airline and I was getting... And she was trying to get rid of you? Is that the thing? It's the fuck. It's better when Carl's in Thailand. No, I get that now. Actually, you don't have to explain anymore.

No, so this is the thing. I just came back from... So, look, it's a good point. I now haven't been to Thailand for 16 months, I think. Don't pretend that you don't have the exact number of days in your head ready to go. Actually, I think it might be nearly 18 months now, actually. I've been to Thailand for 18 months. And so we just went...

Fuck, it's a bad time. And when was your baby born? Just to clarify, you know exactly the date you got off the plane in Thailand. No, no, no. So we just went on holiday. We just came back from holiday. We went for a week to Gold Coast, which is...

Australia's Thailand. Exactly. It is. It really is. I went there and I was like, man, I've never seen as many old white guys with young Asian girls outside of Thailand. Oh, jeez.

It is. Let's put the house lights on and see what we got tonight. It is Honestly it's Australia's Thailand Wow wow So you were jealous It was I felt a little bit at home

I felt a little bit at home Were you striking up a convo With any Just walking past these men Giving them a look going I miss it too Don't worry We'll be back there soon

The vaccine's rolling out The borders are opening up They reckon start of 2022 Couple of arthritis high fives. No. I did feel a little bit at home. So that's the similarity. What else is the same or different?

What was... You converted to the Gold Coast over. Almost. Almost. It wasn't that shit. No, I was staying in the casino. Which? I didn't choose this.

Why don't boo me because of the fucking casino? Which one's the guy? Is that a crown or a star? What's that one? Star. You know it. Yeah, I didn't know about it. Why are people booing star?

Are people brand loyal to certain casinos? In Sydney, we have to be loyal to Crown or they kill us. Ah, right. Did Blanket hit a feature? What? Did Blanket hit a feature? Did I hit a feature? Blanket.

What? Did Blanket hit a feature? Blanket hit a feature. Did your daughter play the pokies? Did your daughter have a slap while you were up on the Gold Coast? Right, right, right. No, she didn't play the pokies. She'd already been kicked out by the

two piece yeah yeah no blanket a fucking fiend for the brickies laptop just loving it yeah yeah

she out there trying to suck all the people's nipples and shit you're like yo chill with it chill with it just her mothers

but yeah anyway anyway yo same oh my god fuck I'm I'm glad this has Yeah, anyway. Yo, same. Oh my God. Fuck, I'm glad this is not being recorded. It really helps me out, actually.

This has become a drunk cast. Yeah, yeah. I actually... Mistakenly, I probably shouldn't have, but I said it on social media this week. The only time I went into the casino this week, I went in there and I wasn't fucking thinking about it at all. But I went down and I took my wife's ID to go to the casino. Which casino are we talking about?

The Star Casino. I don't know if you heard about it, but yeah. The Star. Shh, we're crowned. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. We were in the casino. I didn't go to the casino. I was just going to other places, whatever.

But then my wife and my child both go to bed at like 7.30. So I was like, I need to. I'm kidding. We were in the casino. I didn't go to the casino. I was just going to other places and whatever. But then my wife and my child both go to bed at like 7.30. So I was like, I need to fucking do something else. And so I took her ID to go into the casino. Why? Fuck, this is crazy. I mean, you don't mention your wife's name. You never mention she's that fucking ugly that you can take her ID. Fuck, that's embarrassing.

It all fucking makes sense now, doesn't it? For years on the podcast, we've been hearing about Carl being married. We've been like, what the fuck is that? How the fuck can Carl be married? And now it comes, oh, she looks exactly the same. I know. Are you saying your wife looks like Ralph Fiennes from Red Dragon?

Are you saying that? I don't Fiennes from Red Dragon? Are you saying that? I don't know what that means, but no. It's a beach reference, but it's what you look like. Well, the idea that it works, you're walking up to the bouncer, handing them your ID, and them looking at it and going, ah, thank you, come right in, miss. And you're going, don't say her fucking name! Well, here's the thing.

I used the ID. I didn't know it was photo ID. What? What do you mean? What the fuck do you mean? What did you pick out of the wallet? Just your words? Because colour blindness gives you idiocy.

No. This cunt makes more sense than you do. We should start a podcast. On a side note. On a side note. No, but why did you know it was an ID? You would have pulled it out of a fucking pass. Well, I didn't.

I was sitting there and it was like a membership. It's a loose ID. I know you're old, but do you not know licenses? Have photos now. No. In Maryborough, they just write it on a piece of paper. It was. It was a membership to the casino, and I didn't turn it over.

So I just saw the thing, and I was like, oh, that'll get me in somewhere. And so I went down to go to the casino, and I walked in, and people were pulling out cards, and I was like, well, I don't know what this means, but I've got a card, so I'll just have it in my hand. And then I logged in with the coronavirus know like the um uh whatever you call it the the coronavirus sort of login details all that sort of stuff so I did that but then I had the card in my hand at the same time as insurance and I walked through and the bouncers were like saw the card went we'll have that and they started trying to scan it

through I'm like but this is not good I didn't think about this I just thought I could hold it up and just walk through and they're like, no, that's not what happened. But they're just scanning it. It surely doesn't know your gender when it scans. Well, that's it. They started having mistakes. They couldn't scan it properly. I'm like, fuck, this is trouble. And you're thinking you've got to go like Bugs Bunny style,

like what seems to be the problem, gentlemen? You should have taken Tommy's voice with you. Put me on speaker and mime along yeah that would have got him I love your story it's just a mild inconvenience so you go back up to your room which is four floors higher

in an elevator you grab the right idea and you come down you're like sorry fellas they just kept scanning it and then they were like, oh, we better have a look at this. I'm like, fucking hell. And so then they flipped it over and go,

who is this woman? And I go, that's my wife. And they're like, why are you using her? Good argument. And she'll be right down here to have a stern word with you if you don't let me in. And they're like, why do you have

her ID then? I'm like, does it fucking matter? And they go, that's our job, it fucking absolutely does matter. I'm like, alright, well whatever. Does it matter that I'm trying to get into your pub or your casino with fake ID? Yeah. Good argument.

Good, good. I can't believe you didn't win that. In hindsight your pub or your casino with fake ID. Yeah. Good argument. Good, good. I can't believe you didn't win that. In hindsight, afterwards, when I realised that's their only job, that's not what I should have asked. But I did lead with that. That's not fair. To be fair to the security staff at our casinos,

it's also their job to beat people up occasionally and maybe shoot them in the knee if they don't pay back debts. Welcome to Sydney. That did cross my mind once I insulted them the first time. This is like Rain Man if he never worked out how to harness his powers for good. Couldn't even get in. Couldn't even get in. So then I was like, yeah, it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter, does it? And then they passed me on to the second bouncer who got even more insulted and then went, we're confiscating that ID. And I'm like, oh, fuck. And then I'm like, well, how do I get in? And they're like, you don't get in. You're wearing a backpack. I'm like, what the fuck is going on here?

So I've got the fake ID and I'm wearing a backpack. Why are you wearing a backpack again? Because he's a 16 year old boy. Apparently. The details in your story is that you think don't need to be commented on. My wife found... I had a backpack. It was 10.02.

It was warm outside. Maybe slightly hot. My wife found a $25 gift voucher for the drink. We don't need to know the value of the gift card, are you that weak you can't carry gift vouchers in your hand or your pocket? I think he's telling his story to get the audience on side. Everyone's just like, what the fuck is this idiot doing? It's like the weirdest brag if you had a wife, you know what I mean?

You're like, I don't get laid, but I kind of do, because I got a wife, and this happened one time. People are like, what? You don't give a shit. So I thought I'd go in there, and I'd do some work.

You had separate rooms in the hotel, you're a loser. I thought I would go in there with the gift voucher, and I would like, order some drinks, I've got my backpack on, I've got some work to do, I'll do the work when I'm in there,

I've got my wife's ID, it's 11 work to do. I'll do the work when I'm in there. I've got my wife's ID. It's 11 o'clock at night. This is the perfect story. So the bag is there to hold the gift voucher. No, it's to hold his computer because he's going to do some work in the Star City Casino at 11 o'clock at night

using a fucking gift voucher. You are so cool. Comedy is cool, isn't it, guys? Can you imagine being this cool? Wow. Well, when you put it into words, it sounds weird, but sure. Okay,

put it into actions. Actually, no, that's fucking bad for podcasts. Speaking of actions. So you ended up you weren't able to get in? No, after all that, they did let me in. But then I had to go and leave. We can leave whenever.

What's the vibe of this? Can we leave whenever? No, for those at home, I just left the stage. And that's to check whether their approach of texting people two hours before their show works to get a third fucking guest. Oh yeah, did it work? No, it didn't work yet. Fuck! TV has changed you.

This is my big break. Don't ruin it for me. You motherfucker. I'll be honest, Tommy's been here all week and I thought he'd book some people. The one person he's booked is not here. I booked these two cunts an hour ago. Hey, I also brought the recorder that's not currently working, okay?

Yeah, if you're going to slag him off, do it comprehensively. He hit me up as well. He said, can I have a venue to do the fucking podcast in Sydney? And it was too small. It was my living room. But it was pretty small, I guess, yeah. What was the question?

So are we giving up on our third guest? No way. Oh, the night is young. You've made 550 episodes with this approach. Let's not give up now. It seems to be working. Is this the

most ramshackle show we've ever done? Fuck it, wannabe. But I feel like you guys are biased because you paid $35 for it. Imagine anyone in the audience, actually episode 237 was comprehensively

more ramshackle than this. How long are we into this show? Nearly an hour. Oh, thank fuck for that. God, it feels like three hours. Honestly, on my phone it says we're only 20 minutes in and I'm like, this is a living

nightmare. Time really flies when you're wishing you were six feet under. my phone it says we're only 20 minutes in and I'm like, this is a living nightmare. Yeah, no, time really flies when you're wishing you were six feet under. Thanks for having us again, boys. I appreciate it. Just tell me when to plug the socials. I'll get into it. Oh, we won't be

tagging you. Don't worry about that. I'm a 10. Get all my likes. Honestly. It's nearly been an hour but I feel like we've got to do an hour and a half just to cover the gap in Kyle Legacy's appearance in the recording. This is like that temperature thing where it's 27 and it feels like 35. This is an hour, feels like fucking three hours. Speaking of temperature, I know how we can kill some time. If you play that fucking game, I'll kill you.

Fucking. We've been talking a lot about, now, Craig. Yeah, yeah. That's right. Craig, you won't know about this, or maybe you'd have, I don't know if you've listened to this episode, but we're pretty obsessed with this show that's coming up, a live

stand-up show in Melbourne, it's being hosted at a Hungry Jack's. Yes. I don't know if you... I'm aware. I don't know if you have that sort of sophisticated comedy venue in Sydney, but that's what we're doing. Has that not happened yet?

It's still coming up. Yeah. We're still previewing. It's in two weeks' time. Yeah. Carl, you'll probably be getting a bus down in order to perform at it. I've got residency. Yeah, great. Be paying me and Stoner Me perform at it. I've got residency. Yeah, great.

They pay me and still the meals. It's pretty good. I get to pick the Cornetto though. That's how they get you. Not everybody, if you're doing fine, you can't pick the Cornetto. You drive a hard bargain but they've caved to your demands. You are known as a real diva.

That's my rider. He better be lukewarm, those nuggets. We're pretty obsessed. We've heard some updates this week. Heard some updates? He talks like that, really? That's how you talk on this podcast? Like short second.

We've heard some updates. That was good. I understood when you used that accent. Can you use that? That's just good advice for you in general. Hey, that was good. I understood when you used that accent. Can you use that in a race? Yeah, actually, that's just good advice for you in general. Can you pretend to be not you? Even when I'm roasting you, I get roasted.

That's crazy. Cut him some slack. It's a big deal for him to be up here without his backpack on, okay? Probably feels nude without it. Yeah, yeah. I got in here without any ID. It's been a pretty sweet ride so far The fucking annoying thing is He's used his wife's ID to get in here

We were fucking hoping his wife was going to be here She's way funnier Looks the same though No No I'll show you Do you want me to show you my wife? I'll show you my wife

Not you Yes Not you I'll show you my wife. Oh, yeah. Not you. Yes. Not you. I'll show you. I won't tell you her name, but I'm going to show you her picture. Yeah. I feel like I need to defend her honour.

Like, you know, I mean, sure her eyesight might not be great, but, like, she's a good-looking lady. I'm going to fucking find her now. Scanning through the photos. Yeah, I know. I'll be in a fight better be a fucking good one anybody else who would be the background

screenshots of Thailand webcams and he's got to scroll all the way through it's been a long swipe past Steven Chowdhury swipe past and then maybe the best

yeah but I know you're scanning for a picture of your wife this is probably the worst time to ask this question but it is a strange question I have Tommy you can probably answer this.

It's because it's interesting. There's gags about the fact that Carl goes back to Thailand constantly, right? And the gags are obviously about him being a bit of a perv. No, that's not a gag at all. I've heard that gag many times. You're right, it's not a gag. It's just a factual statement. No, it's not.

But this is the interesting thing. He always defends himself like he's not a gag. It's just a factual statement. No, it's not. But this is the interesting thing. He always defends himself like he's not a perv. Yeah. In a way, it's almost weirder if you go to Thailand that much and you're not a perv. What's the fucking reality of the story of old pervs here? Okay, there's five things that he loves. Yeah.

The pool. The pool. The weather. Weather. The beers. The beers. The food. Food. And the beach. Things that you can't. The weather. Weather. The beers. Beers. The food. Food.

And the beach. Things that you can't get anywhere else. Yeah, okay. You leave my friend alone. Genuinely glad that the last one was... Anyway, yeah, he's not a perv at all. Now, look at this photo of his wife that he's selected for you to look at. Is she the one on the left or the right?

No, no, no. I just realised that I showed you a picture of a of my wife with an Asian lady. Yeah. It was a fair question.

It wasn't a racist question. Let me have a look at this Asian woman. That's what we're going to? My God. That's the one on the right. She's nice. She's a nice looking lady.

She looks exactly like you. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. She looks really lovely which is worse. Oh, yeah. She's kidding. She looks really lovely, which is worse. Oh, yeah, she's nicer. Why have we not rescued this woman?

Why have we let this go on for so long? I feel like you're responsible in some part for this. What do I do? She looks like she listens to the podcast, though, for sure. No, she doesn't listen to the podcast. That's why she's married to him. She's got glasses on. That's why you're saying that.

Oh, maybe I guess. I wasn't ready for the follow-up question. What the fuck is this? Q&A? So, Hungry Jack's Comedy in Melbourne, there's been an update. It might not be... There's got to be a big screen there or something.

There's been doubts be a big screen there or something. There's been doubts cast on it happening. I just feel like we should let everyone know in the listenership of this show because we're encouraging a lot of people to go to Hungry Jack's Comedy. Don't book your flights if you're thinking of travelling down from Sydney. Or don't book your bus ticket

because it might be... Yeah, yeah. What, you're going to run it? No, no, I'm not running it. I'm not good enough to run it. I'm from Adelaide. Who catches a bus? I reckon it could be. Yeah, yeah. Are you all going to run it? No, no, I'm not running it. I'm, you know, I'm not good enough to run it. There's a guy from Adelaide who catches a bus. I reckon it could work.

I mean, I mean, you get a lot of walk-ins. You know what I mean? A lot of foot traffic. It's good. You also get a lot of, you also get a lot of,

people know the brand, they respect it. You get a lot of walk-ins, you get a lot of drive-throughs as well. You just chase in a car, what do you do for a living? It's an act out on a podcast. Just tell them back home, I'm an actor.

Yeah, you did a little run. For everyone at home, the fucking idiot over there just ran along the stage. So it might be in doubt, we're just putting that out there. Yeah, yeah. So it might be in doubt. We're just putting that out there. But, look, I reckon you do the worst gigs out of everyone I think I know. Have you done a worst gig?

That's unfair. I'm doing this one. How does he plan to do it? Hey, I showed you a picture of my wife. Hey, I showed you a picture of my wife. You, now, Kyle, you do some dodgy gigs. Yeah. Have you done anything to the standard of Hungry Death's comedy? I get booked by a lot of Greeks. I don't know.

You've really hit the wrong note again there. I know. I keep forgetting to hear. Keep forgetting you're on Mark's figure. They were with you for so long and then you've done that. Hey, it doesn't matter. hit the wrong note I know I keep forgetting to hear keep forgetting you're on last figure they're with you for so long and then you've done that

it doesn't matter do you do have you done a Hungry Jacks gig comedy I haven't done a fuck no I haven't done

a Hungry Jacks gig comedy I wish I keep sending them videos but they keep thinking I'm Ronald McDonald

trying to scope out the gig that's your problem that's your problem you shouldn't send your comedy to people that do gigs. The closest I've done is a Pizza Hut. I've done a Pizza Hut.

Hang on, hang on. That counts. Hang on, you've done a gig in a Pizza Hut? Yeah. Where's this? I've done one in England. Hang on, hang on. Multiple Pizza Hut gigs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My friend was running a Pizza Hut gamble in in in oh well I've done one in England hang on hang on

multiple Pizza Hut gigs yeah yeah yeah my friend was running a Pizza Hut gambit or whatever I guess and well not a gambit he was like

what do you mean gambit like in in Edinburgh Fringe they'll put a show anywhere in Edinburgh Fringe really and this one

happened to be at a Pizza Hut so you were inside what an all you can eat were you next to the buffet I wish it was an all-you-eat. Fuck, no, it was like just a regular Pizza Hut, nothing crazy.

Nothing crazy, just doing comedy in a Pizza Hut. Like, nice turnout, you know what I mean? I think they came for the pizza, I'm not gonna lie. Were you invited to this Pizza Hut? Yeah, I was. Not that you need to be invited to Pizza Huts in general, but I love that you think it works in England. It's very regal.

Can you dine in our Pizza Hut? But they're giving away all that you could eat. There's plaques in every Pizza Hut of the Queen. She goes to every Pizza Hut and scopes it out first. How did you actually go at the Pizza Hut comedy yo it was to be honest

it was sound like it was like I mean it was a shit gig but it was alright you know what I mean like people were happy so it was bad but it was good

yeah it was like I mean they literally we got them at the entrees so they couldn't leave for a while and then

Pizza Hut in England you got the oh you can eat ice cream Guildford you know what I'm talking about yeah so you're staying, isn't it? So your tactic is, with your comedy... I'm hosting, there's three of us.

As long as there's dessert coming, no one can walk out. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, great. Yeah, for sure, yeah. That's it. They don't know you're doing comedy. They don't know you're doing comedy. I mean, I don't think so, because I feel like with Pizza Hut, it's not like you're not going every night, are you? were doing comedy I mean I don't think so Because I feel like with Pizza Hut

It's not like You're not going every night are you You know what I mean So they just We just happened to have it And like I mean The Pizza Hut paid us Like to give us a set fee or whatever

And then Pizza Hut actually paid you Well because it's franchised So they can kind of No I'm aware it's franchised I've heard of Pizza Hut before I love the idea of that That invoice getting back to the head office No, I'm aware it's franchise. I've heard of Pizza Hut before. I love the idea of that invoice getting back to the head office of Pizza Hut.

What the fuck is this? Yes, exactly. Yeah, all of a sudden Hungry Jack's comedy is sounding pretty legit, I have to say. Now that I've heard that Pizza Hut are in the game, it makes sense that Hungry Jack's are going to beat those cunts at their own game. They say, look, different food doers, it doesn't fucking matter. We'll take them on. So you went good.

Yo, I got laid in the bathroom in the disabled toilets that night. That's how fucking good it was. The only time anyone ever asked me, oh, you got laid in public or whatever, Pizza Hut disabled toilets. Literally. You got that bar there? That works.

That helps for some reason that is that is wild given the diarrhea that people must get at Pizza Hut and you're having sex in there bless you

yeah that's the that was fucking stop trying to cheapen this beautiful experience you know that guy I don't know I mean I guess I'm a hopeless romantic. No, no, no, no.

I mean, I don't know what it is. Was it the garlic on her breath? Yeah. I believe you mean... Or was it the all-you-can-eat ice cream in her hands, slowly draped over their bosoms? Was it... Bosoms.

I don't know. Bosoms. I don't know. Bosoms. I'm making a PC. Most polite thing he said all night. Is that what happens in the toilet all he can eat? That's a bit of decorum, would you? I believe the term is homeless romantic. Have a bit of respect for Pizza Hut.

July 2018, employee of the year. Okay? Right. See, it was such a beautiful moment. You've remembered the date. I love it. He is a hopeless romantic, yeah. Well, you never forget when you met your wife.

I was actually trying to name today's date. You've got to say, you should have married that person just for the story of how we met. Yes. Like, that is good. Yeah. That trumps Tinder every time. Absolutely. Like when Carl saw his wife and he's like,

oh my God, this woman looks exactly like me. No. I could use her ID. He was like, I've got to marry you. Yeah, was it the same thing with this woman? Does she also look like Chernobyl Ronald McDonald? Had that one up the sleeve for about 15 minutes. Like a shark.

Waiting for my moment. You look like the shittiest removalist ever. You and Rockoff, and they're like, we'll get it ourselves, y'all. What the fuck are you? Can I get a hand here, please? off and they're like, ah, we'll get it ourselves. Don't worry about it. What the fuck are you? You got a caddy? Can I get a hand here, please? I guess you can move the doilies.

You can take that doorstop. We need that as well. It's always good to be on a podcast with Boss Baby. It's a good guess. It's a good guess for you. Don't you fucking roast me. First time I've ever heard that one, yeah. Congratulations.

We're both crowd saver tonight, baby. All right. I hope our third guest never shows up. I don't think you have to hope that. I think that's absolutely happening. Third guest, are you here? Give a holler if you're in the venue. No!

Okay. Well, I heard a holler. Here they are. I guess, you know what, a big chance that the third guest is not going to... If you're leaving, I'm leaving, so stay, yo. Well, you are, though. Just before we walked on, I found out that our third guest

has a show at the same time as us, so I'd say that's a big clue that they're not coming. His show finished 40 minutes ago. Really? Yeah. Maybe you should text him again. It seems like a good lead up to this. This seems like a good time to ask for a guest to come to a show.

Yeah. In the middle of a fucking show. Have you said the guest name yet? Once again, I tell you what, how about, why would we set up a system where you don't fucking ask us to buy tickets until you've fucking booked some guests? Well, you thought two weeks was a slow late time. We would have been trying to sell this thing out with 40 minutes to go.

We'd be trying to sell tickets halfway through a gig. You had a man trying to sell me a chocolate for a tea. Why is Carl not here? He's flyering out the front. They're typing. He or she is typing. Oh, wow. Yeah.

They've got a phone. We're going to have to clear. I mean, it'd be good to have him or her come, but we will need to clear the beer stool. That's a problem. So they're pros and cons. Yeah. Maybe they came in the door, took one look at the stool

and thought, ah, they don't need me. They're using that as a little fucking table. Maybe they came in the door when nothing was being recorded and they went, I'm not going to fucking bother with this. Absolutely. Maybe they saw this and just went, no, I think I might go and do the live podcast down at Oporto's actually. Yeah.

So, bit of heat. Yeah, bit of heat from during the week. It looks like the gig might not happen. Right. Right?

Is this the update from the guest? Which gig? I'm stuck talking with a huge group of workmates I haven't seen for a year. Well, that's not happening.

All right. It's a shit excuse. Wait, so you booked a part-time comedian on this podcast? Another one? Come and talk. Fuck them.

Should we take the show down into the courtyard and just fucking pick it up down there? Come and talk to a bunch of strangers who have no fucking idea what one of the guests is saying. Send your chase. I'm kidding. How dare you. Come and talk to a bunch of strangers.

It's not been recorded. You can say whatever you fucking like. There you go. That's a good advertisement. There we go. That's a good sale for comedians. Yeah, exactly. All right. You guys got any questions? Yeah. That's a good advertisement. That's a good sale for comedians. You guys got any questions?

Yeah. Why are you here? Why are you here? It's a hostage situation. We fucking travelled further than you, okay? I think we've got more right to be asking that. This is the speed of podcasts. We can't stop until a third podcast guest turns up or we all explode. Yeah.

Have people had a good time, though? This has been good. It's a bad time. I can see all their smiling faces. The lovin' it. It's such a bad timing when you said, has everyone had a good time? And literally all I saw was a man walking out.

All right, he's coming up. To be fair, that was your tech. He's on the way to that merch stand. Right, right. Good answer. To be fair, I think this has been a great show because there's been problems with every element of the show and that's where you guys thrive, in adversity. It's true.

Let's face it, these guys didn't come here by being at the top of the game. That's right, that's right. Yeah, exactly. We didn't come here and half sell out a fucking venue by being good at comedy. Alright? Alright, are you here? Oh yeah, alright. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the third guest on the Little Dunnum Club tonight,

Cam Knight! Yeah, boy! When you said... Cam, there you go, mate. Oh, hey, man. How are you? Hey, how are you? Just good. Do you notice that just despite the fact that I'm a fucking guest on this podcast,

I just cleared this fucking stool for you and gave you the mic, while these two lazy-ass cunts who can't even get a fucking recording working did nothing? You're a fucking princess. Listen to this guy. Did you win

the boom fight? You just left this stool that's just covered in... Did you win? Did you get him? Did you win

the boom fight? I can't understand a word you're fucking saying. Fuck you. Yes you can. He gets it. What are we going

to do? Speak slowly. You know the Google translate thing? Tommy. What are we going to do? Speak slowly. You know the Google Translate thing? Tommy's going to run the whole fucking thing through Google Translate. It'll be fine. Look, between the two of you. It's not cold enough for men. Slower.

Slow down. One vowel at a time. Between the two of you, yes, we will buy the big issue. All right? Don't be walking down George Street, that's me. Cam, thanks for coming. You did have to clarify and ask, are you still going? I did, I thought you...

What about me sending you a message would indicate that the show wasn't still going? Of course I'm on stage in front of 180 people sending a text. He would rather get free beers from his fans than free beers from you. That's why. No, I just didn't want to come up and just say hi, bye. Like, I just, you know.

Well, too late for that. That's the end of the podcast. See you guys. Bye. Hey. Is that really it? Should we go? No. Fucking no.

Cam's here now. Just to give you context, these fucking idiots didn't record the first half hour of the show. Oh. They had Milan up here for about 40 minutes giving everyone boo-boos. Look, honestly, honestly, he knows we're in trouble. He saw that guest. So, yeah.

You're really scraping the barrel. No one wanted to come on? Well, you know. I'm only in Walleye Creek. I'm pretty close. Right. When you ask people to go on the I'm only in Walleye Creek. I'm pretty close. Right. When you ask people to go on the show and they're 40 minutes away and you ask them 30 minutes out, you're going to get some no's.

You did ask late. And one yes. You did ask late. I did sort of offer it last week, I think, when you announced, didn't I? Too early. Too early. Why would they think of the show? Which is why I'm making you wait for me.

We were busy booking a show that was happening halfway through at that point. Yeah, we were on stage in Perth just trying to get people to come down to eight people. But Cam, thank you for joining us. You look, sorry, you've raced. I just ran from my show. You've raced up the stairs. I've raced all the way from downstairs to do this for you tonight, guys.

You're welcome. That's our bad boy. Good night, ladies and gentlemen. This is the brilliant thing about the Dum Dum Club. Because they book people that are literally doing a show at exactly the same fucking time as their show, all of you get to sit here and go, fuck, we could have been at that show instead.

But the show didn't approach. Also, we struggled to book a guest that was 50 metres from us. Yeah, not even. But all the shows start late. Did you guys start late? Yeah. Yeah, because you weren't here. No, like, did you...

Okay, guys, did you notice, like, everyone's wearing masks and stuff, but do you feel safer in here than when you had to register out the fucking front? Like, yeah, man. Everyone's, like, not wearing masks at that point, going fucking, excuse me, and trying to sign in. I'm like, we need a fucking registration for the registration. Oh, yes. Now tell us what you think of the vaccine.

Go off, King. Oh, fuck. Should we do the thing we planned to do? I guess Do you guys plan stuff? A fucking podcast? Nah I don't think so

I think it's a bit late for that What do you reckon guys? Nah A bit late People have got to go They've got parking issues They've got to go all the way downstairs

He stood up like he lost his keys. He was like, oh, podcast. It's here. Just to put it in context as well. That's what I was missing. Peace phone wallet podcast. Cam's here because he had a fucking show at the same time.

I'm here because I came to see Luke Heggy before this. I'm fucking trapped in this venue. Oh, they saw you walking in. He's here because you asked for the loose change out the front. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't have

I was going to do a buskin riff. It was going to be better. The loose change it would have been longer. You're absolutely right though. Now we're cooking sequence. That was the general

that was the general I wouldn't have bought his tickets if the small print had said I've got to go on the Dum Dum Club afterwards. That shit should be clearer.

Well, that's it. Heggie was here five minutes before the podcast and he couldn't even do this gig, so yeah. See, this now we're cooking. Once you get all three guests up here, then you really start. It's on fire.

Do the thing you plan to do. Hang on. I'm going to start trying to book a fourth guest. I can't wait till the first hour. Get someone else. There's someone down there. Let's get a fourth guest. Are there any comedians in the room?

Yeah. Why don't you get like a... Have you ever had just one of your there any comedians in the room? Yeah. Why don't you get like a... Like even on stage? Have you ever had just one of your punters up on in the show? Man, have you ever had a fan? I don't want to tell you how to do it. All right, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nina's gig's finished now. See if you can get her to... As if you're trying to give this gig... Yeah, she's big. There's the fans out there that... Cam Nate's trying to give this gig away from me. It's just like anybody else that we're going to get, come on, be our mate. Let me have it, lad. You need this. Cam Knight's trying to give this gig away from me Anybody else that can come on BL

let me have it lad You need this It's all I've got It's all I've got Remember on Monday he was hosting this gig and our boy went on Rory Lowe and then our mate afterwards and our friend Rory was crushing him, we were getting our friends here

Has it got to a stage now where people understand him? No, not at all. Yeah. Have we got subtitles going across? I feel like I've slowed it down or whatever. I've definitely noticed Stockholm Syndrome taking effect at this point. And Billy goes on with roasted him saying, you're not going to follow him.

And any other comedian would not say, I'll mention the person crushing in front of him. So he did. He got shook. And then he bombs and all that. And he plugs his show. I think we've lost you again. Is this English?

What do you mean? We're just having a general conversation now? Hang on, hang on, hang on. Here we go. Rory Lowe went on stage and crushed. Yeah. Okay, that's what you said. And Billy Darcy was nervous to follow that.

Bang. And then he went on and was not going to mention the fact that Rory had crushed but then did mention that. And then what happened? Fuck him. And then... Where were you half an hour ago? This is...

Cam, that was like Auslan, except the person you're translating for is the one with the disability. It's like if Louis Faro was even more hipster. Explain it. So what else happened to people we don't know? And then Cam Knight came on and destroyed them even more. He plugged his show at the end of it. It's Sydney Comedy Festival, which you never plug your show after your mom,

but he did anyway. I had to host the show. Yeah. I was there. And then you destroyed him for like four minutes after. Well, that's because Billy was like, I'm going to fucking kill myself. He did actually say that. So I thought we had to go on suicide watch.

You literally said buy tickets or it's suicide watch. Buy tickets or it's suicide watch for Billy. Thank you. And everyone laughed a lot more than that. You had to be there guys. I was going to say so you don't plug your show after you bomb so Kyle don't plug the show. Yeah please. I'm going to plug this episode.

Is this anti-comedy yet? At what point do we cross the line? Hey guys Are we doing this thing or not? I reckon we do the thing Guys I know there's no

You think there's no way this could get worse But I want to say to you Two words ladies and gentlemen RAD DAN! That's it. Cam, I messaged you the script. Oh, there's a script? You think that's fucking improvised?

You think people would improvise that shit? So, I don't want to ask. This wasn't improvised. Do you want me to speak Kyle's part too? No, yeah, go. Nah, you only gave me one line. Too much. If you could try and nail that.

But you might have to whisper it in my ear. I was going to ask, does the tech have the soundtrack too? No, we don't have the theme. No, we don't have the theme, we don't have this recorded, so fair enough. Fucking hell, how long is this? We're going to be here for another two hours. This is worse than Home and Away. All right, so...

It's like we always say, quantity over quality. People say to you tomorrow, how was the show last night? You'll go, got home pretty late. All right, Rad Dad, guys. Are we going to do this? All right, here we go, here we go. Hey, Rad Dad. Every time I've ever heard Rad Dad, I've thought,

thank God I'm not a guest on that show. Yeah. Welcome in. The water's putrid. Hi, Rad Dad. Jenny, it's so good to see you. It's been horrible how you haven't come to see me due to this whole coronavirus thing.

What coronavirus thing? Gee, it really seems like ages since we last spoke. Yeah, it's been great. How have you coped not being able to see me or any of your friends? Not being able to go out in social situations or fraternise with the general public? Surely it's been hard not to be in large groups of people and mixed with strangers and the like? Well, actually, Rad Dad, it's been perfectly fine for me. Personally, I've been prepared.

I'm quite used to it. Very experienced in a way. You see, Rad Dad, all together now, I've been self-isolating for years. Anyway, Jenny, thanks for finally agreeing to meet me here out in the open in this park.

Yeah, what is this anyway? There sure are a lot of angry people around here. Why did you choose to meet me here? And what does that placard say you're holding? Oh, this old thing. Why, it just says, Bill Gates is a vampire alien who injects 5G into babies and eats their shit and also he's gay. Wow, huge news. No wonder his wife broke up with him.

Jenny, it's some valuable information I've learned lately since I've decided to start doing my own research. I think I've got a pretty good handle on this whole scandemic thing thanks to a documentary I just watched. There was a lot of size in that thing. Which suggests that maybe the Venn diagram of fucking people, you know.

I don't believe it's your line yet. Q people and your audience is slightly overlapping. Fuck. Oh, was that by some doctor or some scientist? Close. Rob Schneider. I just saw his latest movie, COVID-69. Yeah, yeah. I think I saw that on Netflix.

Just a lot of people yelling, you can do it as he sucks off a bat in Yellowface. Yeah. Exactly. It was very convincing. And you really think that just listening to one sample voice is a wise idea with such a complex subject matter? Of course not.

I also listened to what Paulie Fennec had to say. He made a documentary where a Chinese bat did a big cum on a pizza and then some wogs ate it and then they blew up. So, yeah, I think I know what I'm talking about. Again, not sure if I'm totally convinced by any of that. Oh, I don't blame you, Jenny. I can see why you're not convinced. It's not a great example of pop culture changing the entire way you think.

It's not like a song by Sum 41. I mean, they changed my entire way of thinking about fat lips and being in too deep. And that's why I brought you here to be fully convinced at this anti-mask rally. You're not into masks? No way, dude. They're wickedy-whack. anti-mask rally. You're not into masks? No way, dude. They're wickedy whack. And every single person who wears

a mask in a large group of people is an idiot baby. And should be ashamed of themselves. And they wet themselves, and if you wear one, especially in a theatre, the dumbest place of all. According to one of my main medical sources, you're a fucking stooge.

Well, again, not sure of your sources, but I guess if we're at a professionally organised rally, maybe I can be convinced by one of the experts here. Exactly. Now, here's one of the experts walking to the lectern, about to speak right now. It's Dave Hughes. Don't take the vaccine, people!

It's no good! I tested it. I injected it into a bag of snakes. Now they're all dead. That was very good. That was very convincing. Very good. Everyone at home going,

fuck, he had a h Husey out the back. Why the fuck did Cole come out? You've never heard Husey and Jenny talk in the same room before, but maybe we should get them to do a duet. Wait, what's this? Something's happening on stage. It looks like eminent infectious disease expert Dave Hughes is going to take a phone call mid-speech.

The bloody phone's ringing! I'd better answer it. Hello, are you a stranger or do you know Hughes? What? Yes, of course. My fridge is running. What? I'd better go catch it. Bloody hell, Hughes has been pranked.

What the fuck? This has made me think twice about this whole way of thinking. If the figurehead of this entire movement can be so easily tricked, maybe what they believe isn't true at all. Holy shit, people are streaming out of this protest, throwing away their signs and literally bathing their newborn children in baths full of vaccine. Who's behind this massive takedown of this entire movement?

Why, it's me, the clown prince of pranking, the chaser's Craig Rook Arseneau. Who else could be such a devious and socially devastating yet very funny Oh, there's a word behind there, sorry. I apologise to the

writers of this. Who else can we sit behind such a devious and socially devastating yet very funny scheme? Oh God, someone didn't pick up after their dog. There's a big dog poo just here. Gotcha, that was me too, classic Rue Castle. Well that's all well and good, thank God. I thought my dad was going to be a weirdo anti-vaxxer, but you've saved the day, the chasers Craig Reucastle.

And don't forget to recycle, kids. The earth is healing. We've even got a pro-vaccination rally setting up right now, and they've got someone who's been vaccinated speaking. Yeah, all right, everybody. Everybody. It needs some rewrites for sure, but get vaccinated, you'll be sound like me.

Okay. He said, get vaccinated if you sound like me. No, I said, you'll be sound like me. Get vaccinated what? You'll be sound like me. Oh, get vaccinated and you will be sound like me. Fuck, you're a sound like me. Yeah. Fuck, you're a moron.

All right. Holy shit, that set us back. Oh, check it out. Now they've got a musical act taking the stage. A deranged man in the nude strumming a guitar. Hey. Play some Sum 41. Fuck you.

I didn't read this i didn't get any fucking approval of this at all the idea was that we would have talked about this topic earlier and this would be a funny little all right all right yeah okay get vaccinated everyone if we have to do a lockdown again i'll be forced to to record more videos of myself playing music in the nude and getting bullied about them on a podcast like this fucking one, apparently, that I didn't listen to. Well, Jesus Christ, that's turned me around. Give me the jab. Well, just like any great, great story, which this undoubtedly is,

the villain that we previously thought was defeated is stirring. Guys, forget the fridge thing and the dog poo. They've taken away my microphone and destroyed the lectern and banned us from the park. But we still have one bastion of free speech where people can go and speak to

large crowds about whatever crazy thing they like. That's right everyone. Follow me to Hungry Jacks. Yay! Oh, Radhuzi. The bigger the me to Hungry Jacks. Oh, Red Husey. The bigger the better at Hungry Jacks.

I'm loving it. Alright, well. That'll do. That'll do. Guys, thanks very much for listening. Big round of applause. Kyle Legacy. Thank you, everybody.

Cam Knight. Craig Rewcastle. Milan Krenchevic. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. Go on. So if you want to support the show on Patreon. Okay, right. Well, I haven't heard it back.

It's hard for me to even say if Bernie's kicked a big one because I think once things started going quite wrong, I started to self-medicate. So I'm not really sure how good this was. I do remember a lot of laughs. Yeah. It's one of those ones where it's like you're a bit down on yourself and then you hear negative feedback from listeners and then go, no, fuck you, actually.

I think it was good. Yeah. Look, I have spent the last couple of days in the lab piecing this one together and I was dreading having to hear it back. And I will say I have not found it to be as excruciating as I expected. Which is something. Yeah. You know?

I felt like we were having fun on stage. Yeah. I felt like everything went about as wrong as it possibly could. Yes. And we still went out and did a show where we were being funny and getting laughs. Yes. I agree. I feel like in the context of what we were being funny and getting laughs. Yes, I agree. I feel like in the context of what we were doing, we triumphed in the face of adversity.

And I definitely think that, you know, we complained quite recently about how the Adelaide episode went. I think this casts that in an entirely new light. Yes, right. The Adelaide was a masterclass. Right, yeah. Yeah, yeah. new light yes right the adelaide was a master class right yeah yeah yeah no i think i think after to be honest before the show started thinking let's not do this show yeah i think it went well compared to no show yes exactly yeah yeah and look i was getting feedback on the night from people saying like look that was something and I'm glad I got to witness a real spectacle.

You know, for the people who paid to come in there, there were a lot of people feeling like, yep, I definitely got something that was a fully live experience that I couldn't have gotten the same thing at home. Yeah. For better or worse, I was part of something that truly belonged in the room. Yeah. worse, I was part of something that truly belonged in the room. Yeah.

Apologies for the audio issues, and by that I mean Kyle Legacy's voice. Yes. We couldn't fix that in post. No. We tried to blame the techs for that. We tried to blame our own equipment, our microphones. It turns out it was just him. Yeah.

No, I mean, that's it. I mean, you may have noticed if you were there in the room that more of the tech chaos has made it into the final edit than things that Kyle Legacy said. Right. There's more of him on the cutting room floor than the tech fuck-ups at this point. Really? Yeah.

I do remember him. Then he'll be pretty funny in this ep because I remember him being quite funny a few times, but then I remember remember him the first half of him being on stage thinking well that's not going in just stories of other people doing dodgy things and him naming them as well which i thought i don't reckon that this belongs on record right yeah he did he did say at the start before he went on he said did say how many times can i say this word and then named a very offensive word and then me thinking, oh, you're just joking here.

And then in hindsight going, he wasn't joking, I don't think. No, that was a serious question. Yeah, right. But hey, full credit to him for hearing your feedback on that and actually adhering to it. Yes. Not the sort of behavior I would expect from him. Yes.

Generally. Yes. And hey, full credit to Carl. I find him very funny. And he got the call up probably with half an hour to go. Yep. So apart from the tech issues, there was booking issues. There was every issue.

There was every issue under the sun. You couldn't get your square thing to work for paying for merch at the end of the gig. When we went to do our solo shows the next day, the person organizing the venue for us had forgotten that we were doing it. Really? Yep, that was good to wake up and deal with. To be fair, a lot of punters seem like they forgot it was on as well. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe he's a fan of the show and he just felt like he was role-playing

there for a minute. But, yeah, look, an absolutely turbulent trip up to Sydney. But, hey, maybe some people will enjoy this episode. Who knows? But at the very least, if you're a person who didn't enjoy it, we don't need to hear about it. We lived it. I have now spent about three days editing it.

I've experienced it about four times through now. I don't really need feedback editing it. I've experienced it, you know, about four times through now. I don't really need feedback on it. Now that it's out, now that it's flown the nest and it's in someone else's hands, it belongs to the audience now. Well, we're currently banned from Facebook, so at least we don't have to reply to anyone about it. That's true. Isn't the ban lifted by the time this comes out, though?

Just about. Just about. I might go and call someone else that can't get it extended extended yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah try that on instagram and twitter as well um yeah uh yeah look look i'm i'm interested in seeing what you guys think i think it's funny at the end of the day i think some people were a bit shitty and fair enough look if you've paid money to come and see something you know you got your opinion that's fine that's fair fair enough uh some people i think were probably a little bit shitty that was a bit loose but i think if you're if you like our show i think you're not your standards but your sensibility should be slightly skewed towards the looseness of it sure and i mean

there's a big difference between us like kind of planning something that is just unfunny and bad and someone hating that i mean that's that i think that's called red debt exactly that's fair enough but this it's like the tech getting over the mic and going this thing up the back has absolutely shit itself and there's nothing anyone can do about it yeah it's like well yeah we spun plates and we turned that into something like that deserves i mean we could have just gone, everyone out. Let's go home. Yeah.

We fucked it. Yeah. But, you know, we fucking worked our asses off up there. I'll say that much. I think so. I think... And look, let's end this as our vehement defense of ourselves before anyone's even attacked us. Right.

Sure, sure. Craig Rucastle was impressed. He came off and went went that was really funny you guys were you guys were fucking working hard and it was funny yeah

and he was very funny on it as well yeah so yeah look we didn't plug on the show we should get into that regular habit

once we get into talking dumb dumb plugging everyone on their shows and stuff I don't know what Cam Knight is doing

not that we need to plug him much since he was on there for 90 seconds but I think he's just about yeah he's just done a run of his show. But, yeah, look him up if he's doing something again. Brewcastle's always got his little TV shows, his recycling shows, all that bullshit.

He's working on a documentary at the moment with Trent from Punchy, he was telling me. Really? Wow. And Legacy. Hey, look, he's a funny comic. Go and have a look. He's very good at crowd work and stuff like that. So give him a follow on the socials.

I think he's very funny. If you're curious about the caliber of stuff that got edited out of this, go check him out live. There's no filter whatsoever. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, that was our big live Sydney show. And we did say we haven't been for a while

and we won't come again for a while. I think that's true, given that maybe people won't want us back there for a while. We'll see. We'll see. Unlike Tommy, I'm happy to hear the feedback. I'm curious, only because I'm not going to listen to the episode myself. Yeah, sure, sure. You can let me know.

You don't have to let Tommy know. I still think, you know, yeah, it was fucking chaos in the room, but I think that there was a lot of funny lines in there. There's some good stories and shit. You know, there's still enough to save it, you know? Yeah. I'm trying to think. I did have something coming into it.

I think it's also a bit of like, you know, we're up there going, this is a fucking shit show and a train wreck and we're having to deal with this and that and whatever. And I think it's a bit of like, you know, self-fulfilling prophecy. Like if you say that on stage enough times, then you're saying you got that bad feedback from people. I think there is an element of people just kind of saying that to you because they think that's what you want to hear.

Because you've also just told them that for an hour and a half. Yes. Yes. And also, yeah, if we thought, and I'm a big one for that, but I also think because doing that is funny. It is funny to call attention to how stupid something is when you're doing it yourself. So, yeah, just so people know, that's also called comedy. Yeah, sure.

That's not – if you see Andrew Denton do that, it would be like, fuck, we're in trouble here. But it's us doing it. Right, yeah. And we're doing that and we're getting – imagine if we had been having that experience up there and bombing while doing it. Jesus Christ. Yes, yes.

No, I do remember thinking this is quite funny. So, yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed it. All right, enough negative navel gazing right now. We do have lots of other live shows. We promise they'll be better. We promise they'll be more organised. Yep. I don't know who's going to hold us to that.

Maybe we should make some sort of... If they're not that organised, we have to do this. I don't know. We should have a swear jar. We should have a bond. Maybe a bond for our live shows from now on. Yeah, okay. If Kyle Legacy is on the show within the next, well, ever.

Yeah. No, I'm not going to blame it on him. He did the right thing. He was all right. No, but I mean, that's the way that you would know that it hasn't been organized. Okay. If he pops up again, well, then you'll know. Right.

Like we, yeah, we have to do a nudie run. Yeah. Put it this way, Kyle Legacy is not going to be the first guest on our 500th episode at the Athenaeum Theatre. Things are going to get better. Yeah. It's only up from here. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, God. Yeah. Yes. Please. We do have live shows coming up. We have the Athenaeum. We have the 500th episode. That is in August.

Yep. August the 14th. That's in Melbourne. That is like we've been talking about, that's been on delay for quite a while, as you guys know, probably 18 months or something like that it's going to end up being. So if you can get the last few tickets to that, it is going to be quite a spectacular event.

We promise it will be, we'll get, I dare say we won't be recording onto your recorder at that show. I dare say, surely at the Athenaeum. They've got better stuff than that. Surely. That's the hope. That's always the hope. You know what?

Now I'm remembering being backstage at the Athenaeum and thinking, probably not. The Athenaeum... Yeah, in terms of how shitty it is back there. Yeah. Oh, it's a fucking disaster. Yes. Yeah. All those places are

when we did those supports for for russell howard um we're at the palais backstage the palais what a fucking dump sure but it's a palace compared to at the athenaeum yeah the athenaeum is so narrow it's so cramped yeah it's like you're in a tree house it does feel like like you're in England in 1750 or something like that, where it's like this has been designed for people back when they were only five foot tall. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is a rabbit warren if rabbits were even more fucked up, if they had myxomatosis. Yeah. Yeah, so, but that is coming up.

Don't worry, the seats you'll be sitting in are better than that. It's only the performers that have to hang out and squalor. Oh, yeah, the foyer, beautiful. Same with the Palais. Like, all these places, like, from the outside, beautiful-looking building, gorgeous theatre. It's just once you're the person who's actually in there earning money instead of paying money to be in there,

I think the thinking is, well, you're at work. You have to be in here in order to earn a wage. So you'll put up with whatever the fuck shitty room we put in there. I think on average, it's actually quite luxurious because you're backstage being all cramped up and fucked and whatever. But then they go, well, you've got an hour on stage. There's no one else on stage apart from you. So you can fucking stretch out when you're out there.

That's true. And you also, from where you are, you sort of have the best view of the theatre. Yeah. Because you can see all the people. You can just gaze up at the roof for a bit if you want. There's just no middle ground if you're performing at the Athenaeum. Yeah. It's either dog shit or your king shit. Well, I mean,

you could forego your right to a dressing room and just sit in the crowd before the game. Buy your own seat. Yeah. Buy your own seat or just, you know, pull a comp. It's your show. Right. And then just walk onto the stage from in the crowd before the game. Buy your own seat. Yeah, buy your own seat or just pull a comp. It's your show. Right. And then just walk onto the stage from in the audience. Go, I'd rather be out here soaking up the nice vibe with people

than in a cold, dingy room backstage. And that is a better seat out there, the nice velvet-lined seats. It's a lot better than anything backstage. Absolutely. So you just sit there, sit in the front row. Maybe not even sit in the front row. Just sit in the middle. Yeah.

Sit in the middle and just put your makeup on when you're sitting in the middle. In the balcony, running over you, writing your set list out, running over your gear, practicing to yourself. Me and you buying our own seats, but like two seats apart and having to like talk over two people going, what are you going to do for the opener? What have we got? Have we got that musical number ready? Should we go over it now?

Turn up in casual clothes. You've got like a nice suit or something in a duffel bag that you're then getting changed into. Right. Yeah. The more we're talking about it, the better this sounds. Just leave our shit under that seat to come back to it later because that's still backstage. You still need to get changed after the gig. So you're just sitting, you're talking to two people going, can you just not?

Can you just watch this? Yeah. Can you keep an eye on this for me? I've got my lappy in there, so just watch it. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. All right. Well, let's look into... Can you just watch this? Yeah. Can you keep an eye on this for me? I've got my lappy in there, so just watch it. Yeah. Yeah, cool. All right, well, let's look into that. Yeah.

We've got that coming up. We've got, of course, Perth is rescheduled as well. Yeah. We're finally probably going to do it. Yeah. I did like seeing... You know, look, that was a... You know, obviously, that was a bit of a...

Not debacle. It's just a thing that happens. A thing that was, unlike this week, something that we had no control over. It was someone else's. It was fate's fault. But I did like that a lot of people felt really bad for us and they were like saying, oh, we know you wasted all that money, we'll send you some money. And we're like, no, we don't need that.

We don't need anyone's pity like that. That's fine. But then checking the numbers straight away you know a day or two later and was like people just absolutely getting their refunds straight away like oh well oh really yeah yeah no we did do our dough but now we're doing more of it so right you mean like the day that the lockdown came into effect or after we got back to melbourne oh yeah once the show was postponed. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. Bunch of people getting their big old refunds on. Yep. Appreciate that. I wonder if people came out of the woodwork to offer us financial support after that Perth trip. I wonder what people are going to be offering us in the way of support after this Sydney trip. Yeah.

Just trying to cut us out as the middleman. That support you were getting from Perth, can we just have that now as compensation? My uncle's a psych. He said he'll give you guys a few free sessions. You did your fucking minds up there. Come down and have a chat to him. He'll sort you out. Do we have any Milan left in the mix of the

show? Yeah, he's in there. One of the rare times you get to hear Milan. It's a good way of remembering Milan instead of being at a live show. Generally, you don't remember Milan

if you've seen him at a live show. Again, there's a big chance of being more of Milan than Kyle Legacy at this point. Right.

Okay. All right. Let's stop wallowing or whatever we're doing right now. Let's get into thanking people. Yes.

I mean, I'm sure there'll be a lot of people thanking us for this episode this week, so let's spread the love. Let us know. I'm curious, who's the person that walks away from this going, best episode of Little Dum Dum Club I've ever heard? There'll be some. No, totally, totally. There's some freaks out there that just want to see us smash our own dicks with a hammer.

That's all I want to see. Maybe this is the new, like, Paul Foot, where, you know, very, like, divisive when it came out. But it felt like over time, and certainly once we had him on again, people kind of turned a corner on it and went, this is actually good stuff. Maybe after the edit suite, all of this negativity, all the bad things that happened have disappeared, and this is the fucking the tightest episode of all time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe I just get a lot of editing work off the back of this. Someone who was in the room saw it live and then hears this back goes, fuck me,

this guy has got the gift. All of a sudden you're working for Skywalker Ranch or whatever. Yes, yeah. But thank you to everyone that listens.

Thank you to everyone that came to that show that's coming to other live shows. Really appreciate seeing you guys. You bought a bunch of merch, which is very much appreciated. Good to move all that stuff, especially all the sort of hoodies,

all the talking dum-dum hoodies and shirts and stuff that we ordered just before lockdown. Then they've been sitting in the old bloody baby's room. Yep. And you always move a bit more of them at the live shows. So it's good to do the live shows so it's good to do the live shows it's good to actually drag a bunch of merch to a city and and not have to drag it back again absolutely that's what i did in perth like dragged over like two t-shirts and then a million

dum-dum shirts and hoodies and then didn't you know just had to fucking keep keep washing my own clothes because i didn't want to wear my own hoodie and then have to wash it and try and sell it again. Yeah. Well, at least you weren't really going out anywhere. Yeah. Well, that's it. So thank you to everyone that came. Come to our stand-up as well.

Yes. They're very nice of you. And that was a lot of fun. Yeah, the stand-up day was heaps of fun. Stand-up the next day in King's Cross in, yeah, a very weird little area, I guess. But anyway, that was fun. But thank you to people that contribute to our Patreon site,

patreon.com slash little dum-dum club, that continue to flush our coffers with cold hard cash. Really appreciate it. We do our best to give you bonus materials every week. We know that's what you want. So you get two little episodes a week. You can get in there and now basically access a lot of stuff straight away. We used to just, if you start like on Gen 1, you just get from Gen 1 onwards.

And at the moment, you know, if you get in on Gen 1, you can see what's there from last year. The entire back catalogue. Well, not quite, but. Well, since we started doing the lockdown bonuses, we kind of rebranded the whole thing. There's a lot there. There entire back catalogue. Well, not quite, but... Well, since we started doing the lockdown bonuses, we kind of rebranded the whole thing. There's a lot there. There's a lot there. So, yeah, if you're ever thinking...

If you're one of those people that gets to the end of Dumb Dumb, you got to the end of 550 episodes, and you think, fuck, I wish there was more. And we do cop that quite a bit. Well, guess what? Jump on Patreon, and there's fucking over 100 bonus episodes. Yeah.

There's heaps of shit there. So get into that, and it makes us... You know what? I get a little email every time someone signs up, and it makes my dicky hard. Yeah, it's good, isn't it? I just go, that's not spam. For some reason, my spam filter's not working very well at the moment,

so I'm getting emails going, this would be nice, and it's all of a sudden, oh, no, Bitcoin again. Nice. Do you get... Because we get this for the video games podcast that I do, do you have the setting set for Dum Dum where it notifies you when people change their monetary amount? Yeah, you get an email for it.

Yeah. Sometimes it's nice. Oh, that person's gone up. Yeah. Oh, this person's decided they only want to pay $2 a month now. Look, that's fine. I'm glad I don't get the email when people unsubscribe. That's true.

That's what I'm very glad about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's look that's fine I'm glad I don't get the email when people unsubscribe that's true that's what I'm very glad about yeah yeah yeah so that's fine but please give us a go give us a go make this your week

you know what you get to the end of this episode and you haven't fancied it guess what there's plenty of episodes that I would say are probably better than this one yeah the bonuses

the bonuses it's a big call but every bonus we've ever done has been better than this episode no that's not true that's No, that's not true. That's not true. That's not true. But they haven't had any tech difficulties.

We should do it. No, that's what I mean. Yeah. Anyway, so get on to that. That's a nice little ad for that, I think. And, of course, the best ad for it is what we're about to do right now is we're about to add some Patreon listeners into our little, I guess, hall of fame. Yep.

This is our equivalent of putting a name on the ground in Hollywood for people to walk over and spit on and such. Yep. Dress up as like a fat guy dressed as Spider-Man. Yep. Try and get some photos of people next to it. Yep. If you do any particularly bad right-wing politics,

maybe someone will get a pick and shovel and try and smash it apart or something. Yep, yep, yep. That might be true of number one. Right now, let's see who first came off the rank right now. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Liam Pettersson. Yeah, I think right wing for sure. Really? Yeah.

What do you reckon the percentage of right wing people? Listeners of this? Yes. Oh, we've talked about this before. Have we? Well, specifically, we've talked about this before. Have we? I don't, well, specifically we've wondered aloud how many there are out there. And to be honest, I don't really like to think about it too much. There's a few.

I think there'd be a few. There's a few. I think it would be higher than you would think. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I think maybe. If someone gave me the option of you can know the number right now,

I probably would decline knowing because I would think there's too much at stake. Yeah. Hearing that it's like zero, great. But the risk that they go 35%. It's like, phew. Yeah, look, it's impossible because, look, let's be frank. The right-wing government keeps getting into fucking parliament.

So someone's voting for them. The odds are good. Someone's voting for them. Yeah, the odds are pretty good. Yeah. So I like to think that most of them are, you know, traditionally, like they talk about the quiet Australian is the people that are voting for them. The people who are too ashamed to admit to it.

Right. Which is fine. If you vote right-wing out there, I'm just going to say good on you, not good on you, but good on you for keeping it to yourself instead of letting us know about it. Right. Yeah. I mean, to be honest, they're not given too much of a platform to do that

other than every now and then when we'll talk about like we had a Greens senator that was into this. Every now and then I think we've kind of flirted with it on the socials. And someone will come out of the woodwork like, why have you boys got to fucking go on about politics? But yeah, the rest of you that vehemently believe all that stuff and still listen to this and never make yourselves known, thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

Thank you for not making us feel like we are running just basically, I don't know, fucking storm front the podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no.

We're not really, you know, I don't believe this is really talking about politics. I'm just saying anyone who votes that way is a fucking dickhead. Yeah. So, but I'm not talking about the politics itself. I'm just talking about the people who vote for it. Yeah. I'm not talking about the policies. Yeah. I'm just talking about the people who vote for it. Yeah, I'm not talking about the policies. I'm just talking about the people that subscribe

to those policies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People that agree with those policies. Shit cunts. But Liam Pettersson, look, I don't think he's one of them. I don't think he's one of them. He's got, what do you call this? He's got two double ups in his last name. Pettersson, double T, double S. Oof. Yeah. Not sure what the thinking is there, to be honest. I don't know whether his name was Pettersson and he thought,

you know, I'm going to try and get a bit Norwegian or something. A bit Scandinavian. That looks like a baby whose surname is Pettersson and they're just learning how to like write in school. Yeah. You know,

and you see it's like, they're spelling their own name and they've just gotten it. Isn't that funny to think that there's a point in your life where you can't even spell your own name?

Yeah. But it looks like he's like a three-year-old who's had a crack at Peterson, like the P's backwards. Yeah. And he's put too many T's, put too many S's.

That is, it is funny you say that because, you know, I'm used to dealing with open micers and telling them what to do and whatever. And it's like now I have a child. I'm trying to teach my kid to count at the moment. And I'm going, trying to get her to say one, two, three. And she'll just, and it's almost like she's taunting me.

It's almost like she's trying to fuck me up and go, because I'm going one, two, three. And she'll go one, two. And I'll'm going one two three and she'll go one two and i'll be like yeah and she'll go eight wow yeah you fucking idiot yeah yeah no i think she's she's playing with it really does feel like it because it's like one two eight yeah how the fuck she skipped to eight i just said it how do you like to have a concept of eight yeah yeah yeah how's you have you got eight in the fucking brain box? Just repeat what I said. Just echo me.

It's the easiest thing. That's what babies do at this age. Just imitate whatever you've just said. And you're pulling fucking eight out? No, she's gone. This is great. It does feel a little bit like that. It does feel like she's got some sort of fucking... She's got a wire.

It's a shame that when you... Someone's fucking pranking me. It's a shame that when you get older, you don't have more clarity of memories because it would be great if... So that scenario, then when she's 18 and you ask her about it, she's like, yeah, I was fucking with you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you could clearly remember, if you were a bit more like... Yeah. A bit more like, I don't know what the word is, not sentient, but you're aware of what you're doing and then the memories that you have from a little kid,

they just stay fully formed in your brain for your whole life. That would be fucking great. Although disturbing because then you'd be able to clearly vividly remember sucking on your mum's tits and that would be no good. That would be amazing if that's clearly your first thought is your first thought is not like, oh, apple, nice.

Mummy, I love you. Sunshine, bright. It's like, I'm going to fuck with my dad. Yeah. I'm going to deliberately count wrong. Yeah. Your first human thought, your first memory, your first, like, on purpose idea is to make someone upset. It's like, I haven't, I still can't master taking a shit by myself.

Yeah. But I have worked out how to be a complete fuckhead to my dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm learning things on purpose incorrectly before I'm learning things correctly on purpose. Yeah. I'm deliberately making myself dumber. Yeah.

Yeah. Just to drive the old man insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the other thing. Having a clear vision of like, oh, it's funny to drive this old person completely up the wall. He'll be fucking livid at this.

It would be good if that actually stuck with her for her whole life and then, you know, later on, she's in her 20s and, you know, she just pulls out the phrase, you know, that's as easy as 128. What the fuck are you talking about, Blanket? Oh, shit. So you're suggesting that in this scenario,

she's tried to prank you and then you've gone, I'm going to beat this little cunt at her own game, and then you've gone, yes, 128, well done. Oh, yeah. Correct. That could be good. That is a psycho parent. It's like, I'll show you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You come at the bull, you get the horns. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I'll show you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You come at the bull, you get the horns. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But, Liam Pedersen,

son of Petter. Yep. Is that, is that what it is? You know, is that what the last name means? Pedersen. Son of Petter?

Because, yeah, then you're in trouble because like, it's, what about that? What about if your name was Peter and you just changed it to Petter? That's fucking weird. You wouldn't have to...

I mean, you know, you could just go on pronouncing it like this. Yeah. You don't have to change it. Because it is Peter's son, but just with added letters now. Petter's son's son. Well, it's... Because it's two S's, right? So it's Peter's son.

Yeah. So that's all there. Oh, yeah, I guess. But it's the double T is kind of throwing it all off. Yeah, it's... Because it's two S's, right? So it's Peter's son. Yeah. So that's all there. Oh, yeah. But it's the double T is kind of throwing it all off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Liam, I always think is a name that should have two L's.

I always look at it and go... Yeah, because it's the end of... Yeah. Because it's the end of... of William. Oh, you know what? I never thought of it that way. I don't know if that's

strictly speaking what it is, but... Yeah, it never thought of it that way. I don't know if that's, strictly speaking, what it is, but, yeah, it's the lopped off. Just feels like, feels like. Oh, you know what else? Backwards is male. I didn't realize that either. Learning a lot today. Are you thinking of it as like a, you know,

parallel to the word llama? Yeah, absolutely. Is that what's making you think of the 2L thing? Absolutely. So you see the word llama? Yeah, absolutely. Is that what's making you think of the two L thing? Absolutely. So you see the word llama and you think that is the default way of starting a word with the letter L. That's the... Yeah, yeah.

I think everything should have double L's. So like everything, lemonade. Yeah, yeah. Little lemonade. Yeah, absolutely. The little dum-dum club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be good.

Yeah, if it's good enough for llamas, why is it not good enough for everywhere else? Yeah. Why does llama have two L's good. Yeah, if it's good enough for llamas, why is it not good enough for everywhere else? Yeah. Why does llama have two L's? You don't pronounce it any differently. But you kind of do. Like, as he's thinking it, you know, you're like... No, do you?

I don't know. Llama. It's not like it... But you can't really pronounce the L. You can't pronounce a double L, can you? Llama. I think it's like, don't you say the L for a bit longer? Llama.

Llama. Yeah. I don't think you do. Because maybe it was just like my ears were imagining it, but you went it sounded like you went you don't pronounce it, you don't pronounce the two L's in Llama. Like it sounded to me like you actually did. You were trying to make a point of how you don't do that. Right.

And then to my ears, you sort of, you really overextended it. I think it would be better if there was double M's at the start of things instead of double L's because that's more fun. If you were like, oh, have you seen the mailman? Yeah. That's better. That's good. Yeah.

It's fun to take a, yeah. Multiple M's fun to do. It's a nice mouth sound. A nice mouth feel, I mean. Yeah, yeah. So instead of Liam with two L's, not that it is. Well, okay, what's an animal starting with M? Instead of a llama.

Let's take that privilege off the llama. Mouse. Mouse. Okay. All of a sudden, they're not rodents. They're not vermin anymore. They sound quite delicious because you're like, oh, did you see that mouse? Right, right.

All of a sudden, that sounds pretty appetizing or sexy or something. Yeah. Sexy. Yeah. See, right there. Yeah. Yeah. Mmm, mouse.

Mmm, mouse. Yeah. Okay. That's good stuff. All right. Let's move on with that. Let's make that happen. Can we hit up someone to make that happen?

Is there someone we know at Macquarie or Oxford or something like that? We'll find out. Can we do that from now on? You know when Macquarie or whoever it is at the end of the year, they go here's our word of the year. We should have that. We should have a dum-dum word of the year. What do you reckon it's going to be for, well what do you reckon the overall

word of the year will be for 2021? Yeah, what was it? It would have been pandemic. Something like that. Yeah, fucking Zoom or whatever. I don't know. Yeah, eat fresh.

Yeah, yeah. I wonder what it'll be for, like, vaccine. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. Vaccinated. Yeah. Well, you know, mouse.

It could be ours. Yeah. Thanks, Liam. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Michael Oakley. Michael. There we go. There we go. I like that.

Michael. Michael Oakley. Yeah. The big old wraparounds. Well, it's spelled O-K-E-L-Y. Ugh. Weird. Oakley.

Yeah, Oakley. It's got to be Oakley, though, surely. O-K-E-L-Y. Ugh. Weird. Oakley. Yeah, Oakley. It's got to be Oakley, though, surely. O-K-E. It's Oak. Remember we were obsessed with a friend of the show, Luke Heggie, who we saw over the weekend. He's a great one for just whipping out a phrase or a word that you've not heard in decades.

Or in some cases, ever. Yes. And he's one that he brought out a little while ago that I had never heard was Tockley. Yes. For male genitals. It's a big one from, I guess, the 90s picture people magazine when they had the grotty little magazines you could get in servos. Yep.

They had a penchant for using the word Tockley for the male genitalia and for the female genitalia, Smoo. Smoo is good. Yep. So you'd heard Smoo, but you hadn't heard tockley for the male genitalia and for the female genitalia. Smoo. Smoo is good. So you'd heard smoo, but you hadn't heard tockley. I'd heard smoo, but I hadn't heard tockley. But tockley is, I mean, shout out to Luke Heggy for, like, any time you use a word where a person goes,

I've never heard that before in my life, that must feel good. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That you've introduced someone to a great phrasing. Reintroduce something. Michael Tockley. Michael Tockley. Michael's Tockley. So if he went double M and then double O at the end.

Michael Oakley. That's good. So now your hypothesis is every word should start with double letters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, so far, everything's more fun, I would say. Michael Oakley. Right. That's good.

But O is like the only one where it turns it into a different sound. Or maybe the only one where it significantly changes the name. Instead of just you taking a bit of a run upup no e yeah e but e kind of probably you may be already saying it like that well look evans evens yeah there you go yeah yeah okay all right yeah so yeah the vowels the vowels work extra they're bonus points they're good um michael oakley uh mickey o um it's just so funny that we just spent all this time going boy in that live episode you just heard we were really treading water up there weren't we and then we get into a bit of imagine if everyone had double letters yeah yeah no this part of it is by design this is on purpose this is nothing's going wrong here yeah this is we're happy with this so far yeah yeah yeah um okas yep thanks uh another guy i've never seen the name of

on the socials good for you for keeping your fucking trap shut again another quiet australian yes oh no yeah yeah quiet podcast listener yeah yeah i appreciate your work michael mike i mean i would have gone with Mike, but that's just me. I'd go with Mike, yeah. Yeah. I don't think I even know him. Do I know him, Mike? I'm not sure.

Is there a Mike in comedy? Goldstein. Oh, yeah. Oh, well, but he goes... Wait. No, he goes by Mike. Yeah, you're right. Very American.

I was going to say, very American, and he is American. So, story checks out. I think he might be the only one. Yeah, I think so. There's another guy in comedy that is still inexplicably around that has the name Mike, but he's changed it from Mike to Michael to back to Mike to lots of other fucking things. You know the guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So he's not a good example, I don't think. Mike Goldstein is a good example. All right. Thanks thanks Michael Oakley thanks Mike G as he used to go by yeah

yeah back in the what 2000s when for some reason there was a lot of comedians that were like you know

your stage name would have been Tommy D and mine would have been Carl C like everyone had the name for some reason in Australia or in Melbourne or whatever it was.

Everyone had these stage names like that. First name and then initial of the last name. Like as if you were in primary school and there was someone else that had your first name in your class and you had to write your name differently on your folder. Yeah, but it's funny because I think the only... So Sammy J is still going by that. He's like the one guy who actually started to get a bit of recognition

and sell tickets and stuff before he had the sense to go, I've got to back away from this. So he's trapped. He's stuck with it forever. But everyone else just went, what the fuck am I doing? It doesn't matter. I'll just go. I'll ditch the initial bullshit.

Yeah, he's now he's now hosting abc breakfast radio in melbourne while still sounding like a children's performer right right it would be awesome if he just one more he still just went like nah i'm going the rebrand anyway yeah and he just hops on the air one morning g'day everyone it's sam mcmillan here yeah just going just going no not making a big song and dance about it yeah because that's the thing. Well, if he was ever going to do it,

you know, he's hosting ABC Breakfast on the radio. You've got a platform every morning. If you just start saying it there every day, give it a month

and people will have forgotten the old bullshit anyway. Fuck, what if we just started a campaign where we got Domino's and started just ringing on all talk back

for Sammy J in the morning and just all the calls are just, grow up, mate. What's your real name? That'd be good. Thanks Okers. Thanks. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber

Tom Sheringham. Sheringham? Yep. Jesus. Yeah. To Tom, T's a hard one. T's a hard one to take a run up with. It just sounds like a stutter. Yeah. To Tom, T's a hard one. T's a hard one to take a run up with. It just sounds like a stutter. Yeah.

Well, actually, S, an extra S on the start of sharing him is weird. It just sounds like you're trying to tell someone to shut up. Yeah. Sharing him. Yeah. To Tom Sherrington. Sharing him? Sharing him.

Sharing him. Yeah. Very posh sounding. Yes. Very. Sheringham. Yeah. Very posh sounding. Yes, very English. Sheringham. Yeah, very English. It's like the name of a family where, you know, there's like a movie where, you know,

the detective is turning up to a wealthy estate and, you know, someone's been killed. Yeah. Who in the family did it? The Sheringham estate. A body's been found in the Sheringham forest. Yes. Hmm.

Yeah, very, very, very English-y sort of name. Big Midsomer Murders energy coming off this name. Yes, yes. Because you go, right, Sheringham. I know what ham is. What's a Shering? What's, you know, what are we, where are we getting this meat from? Well, if it wasn't for that G being in there, you'd be looking at the football.

You'd be looking at a football ham. Yeah, yeah, right. A special ham that they've made for you to eat with the family on grand final day that's shaped like a footie. A special meat that you can kick around in the backyard and then still eat. Yeah. Durable enough to, well, I mean, you know, it is the pig skin. Right, yeah, yeah. You know, so it's durable enough.

Okay, there's a connection. To kind of punt around in the backyard. And then, yeah, you chuck it in the oven. There's lunch. Well, you go, it's the end of Christmas Day. It's the end of Christmas Day morning. You're out there punting the ham around. And you stop when someone manages to boot it on top of the barbecue.

Yes. And that's where it stops. And you cook it from there. Winner is the first one to get it on top of the barbecue. Yes. And that's where it stops and you cook it from there. Winner is the first one to get it on top of the active barbecue. Now, that would be a good Christmas Day game. That's actually a good Christmas Day game. Fuck how to make gravy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Paul Kelly writing a song about kicking a hammer out of the backyard. Kick the meat onto the fire. Yeah. Yeah, that is a good... There we go. There's a good holiday fucking... I might start that with a blanket. It's sort of surprising that it's not already...

Like, I think people in other parts of the world think that we just have all these fucking weird things that we're doing. Because we're such an isolated country and a lot of people don't have much idea of what we're up to down here. I would imagine that you could convince an American person quite easily

that that's just something that we do down here. Yes. So anyone listening, if you've got, like, friends or relatives or whatever overseas, just let's see something that we do down here. Yes. So anyone listening, if you've got like friends or relatives or whatever overseas, just let's see if we can get that one going as like a global urban legend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the, you know, like the drop bears and shit like that.

If we can make it our mission by this Christmas to have a global urban legend about Australia that a common pastime is kicking a ham around onto a barbecue. Even the veggies, you know, you go out there, you get your presents, and then you go. You have a bit of sport. You kick the veggies and the meat around, and you don't start cooking dinner until all the food is kicked onto a barbecue. Yes, yes.

I mean, that wouldn't take much to convince me because, you know what? If I heard that about somewhere else in the world, I'd go, remember when you were a little kid and you'd hear about other cultures and what their Santas were? Yeah. Which just sounded so fucking off the wall compared to like what you interpret

as your normal version of it. Yeah. So it's like, yeah, if I had been 20 and someone had told me that they do that in another part of the world,

like, oh, the Dutch, what they do, they get up, they fucking, yeah, kick a turkey around

on your barbecue. I would have been like, that's fucking awesome. What's the thing, you know, like they say in the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, the most important word,

the most important sound in the world is your own name. So if someone's saying to you, hey, Tommy, if they keep saying Tommy, you're like, that hits your pleasure senses. Right. And you're like, this is good. This person is good. I'm enjoying this whole conversation.

Well, this is the thing. This is how to make a lie believable. You tell someone something they want to believe. i want to believe there's some country where fucking they exactly eat around veggies around until until it goes on the into the oven or onto a barbecue and then they eat that stuff that's interesting about that name thing because i have the complete opposite effect of hearing my own name i think it's still tied to like being a kid and going i'm in trouble right you know you you hear your own name, you think like, fuck. Right. What have I done now? Yeah.

So you actually hate this guy, Tom Sheringham. Oh, yeah. Big time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I did when I heard it at first. Yeah. You probably heard it in my voice. Yeah.

But now that he's given birth to this whole kicking a ham around thing. Yeah. He's won me over. Now he's, yeah, now he's reinvented Christmas dinner. Yeah. Yeah. The patron saint of Christmas dinner, Tom Sheringham. Yeah.

Thanks, Tom. Thanks, Tom. Man, I'm so looking forward to December already, thanks to Tom. Me too. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Okay. So this is, here's a name where, I'm not sure what the surname is. I think this bloke's given himself a name on Patreon, but then you see his email address

and it's like, it's a different name. So I don't know what to call this bloke. Anyway. But he's Patreon, but then you see his email address and it's like it's a different name. So I don't know what to call this bloke. Anyway. So he's put a surname in. Yes. But it doesn't... Okay, right. I reckon this might be his middle name.

So we'll see. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Christopher Lloyd or Christopher Norton. I reckon Lloyd might be his middle name. I've got a feeling. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. Or maybe he's got married and changed his name. I've got a feeling. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah.

Or maybe he's got married and changed his name. I don't know. He's given his name as Christopher Lloyd, but then his email address is like Christopher Norton at whatever, whatever, or something like that. Right, at Lloyd.com. Yes.

So, I don't know whether this is, in fact, the guy who played... Doc. Doc in Back to the Future or not it might not be to be honest it might be but it might not be well we sort of we don't have any evidence that it's not so we have to assume that it is almost so maybe maybe maybe this is christopher lloyd and he's gone back in time and changed his name to christopher norton well I would say if you're an actor, you're not going to set up an email address that's just like tomcruise at gmail.com. Right.

If you want to be – you want to protect your privacy and whatever. Right. So to me, the perfect solution is you have an email address where you've got basically kind of a fake name in there, right? So if this is Christopher christopher so could you still be a famous actor yes right 34 all right yeah it could still happen i'm saying that still happen no i'm saying you might already be one because that's why you've got your fake name oh right yes yes yes my fake email address to throw people off the scent yes yeah um so throw me off the scent for 10 years tom also does a lot of big ads in Japan. Really?

And then he uses the name Dassolo over here to protect his identity. So you had me already. Did you really? There you go. See, if you tell someone something they want to hear, you said to me, Tom Alsop does a lot of big ads in Japan. I'm like, I love this idea. Yeah.

You just made it up, but I was in for it already. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, I shouldn't give out this weakness on the podcast because people are just going to be coming up to me going, hey, I've actually got a secret tunnel to get to Thailand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just at my house, in my dungeon, I mean, my basement. Just put the blindfold on because you know what?

There's a lot of bright, bright lights in the tunnel and I don't want you to lose your eyesight as you're walking to Koh Samui. That's a great image, you tunnelling under like the Viet Cong trying to get Samui. That's a great image, you tunnelling under the Viet Cong trying to get to Thailand. Just like a very, very weird version of Shawshank Redemption where I've just got a picture of Mama Ninja over a hole in the wall

and I'm just digging every night and my wife's going, what are you doing out there? I'm going to a gig. It's just me digging my way to kosamui another uh another film i've never seen do you reckon it's worth it wow in 2021 absolutely going in on the shawshank redemption yep yep okay no good good what was that what i was just thinking about that yesterday what was the other movie you haven't seen that i was i was surprised by shocked oh uh the shining the shining which i actually um is it just what is it movies with shh at the start that you don't like?

Yes. Right, okay. Yeah. You just say that. You just say T-H-E dash S-H. You're like, boring. Well, it's actually... No, that's not true because I have seen pretty much all of the films of Rob Schneider.

Oh, right. Yes, but that's the Rob Schneider. That's not the shirt. Is Rob Schneider ever made a movie called The Schneider? Yeah, that would be good. Where he gets body swaps with himself. Yeah. He thought I better not because Tommy won't watch it.

I hit up Peter Hellyer who was talking to me about doing his podcast where you watch a movie that you've never seen before. He talked about on this show yep and uh i was trying to think of like a big one well there's lots of big ones that i haven't seen but most of them have already been covered on his show and uh that one has not so i'm gonna try and do that soon yeah right good excuse to which which one shawshank or shining shining i think i'm pretty sure someone's done shawshank but i think shiningining's probably Shining's definitely the one that I have more of an interest in

catching up on you yeah I you should watch it it's good yeah it's a good movie no I believe you

it's a it's a movie that I've seen more than once which is a little bit rare for me it's not like I've not watched it because I think The Shining is bad yeah yeah

nah everyone's wrong yeah all these idiots writing their top 50 of all time lists. Every single one of them's wrong. Well, I mean, it has dated a little bit, but anyway. The Shining? Yeah, I think that's part of the fun of it, maybe. But also stuff from that era, even if it is dated in terms of a technique,

it looks cool. Like the dated effect. It does look cool. The dated element of things from like the 70s or so looks fucking great. I think it's a movie where you have to go in with the eye of, you know, horror movies, scary movies have got scarier and quicker and whatever. So it's quite a slow pace. Yeah, I find that scarier than the modern quicker style of stuff.

I don't find that kind of bombastic. Like, I rewatched A Quiet Place last night, and it's really fucked when you can't see the monster. And then every horror film now has to have 20 minutes at the end where it's just fucking gangbusters and explosions, and it's like, this isn't really all that scary anymore. This is just an action film. So, yeah, I'm looking forward to watching it.

Because, yeah, I think that stuff from, like, the 70s seems less dated than stuff from the 90s okay yeah all right um you know i mean i saw it not that long ago i'd still like to watch it again um yeah it's good it's good um shine me up baby yeah but yeah christopher lloyd if this is in fact you um which yeah i suspect by the fact that you're using a pseudonym in your email address that gives me a lot of evidence to think that we are talking about the actual the actor christopher lloyd and and and if it that is actually you chris uh if i may call you that um my big question is what was it like on the set of the television sitcom stacked how was it to work with pammy

yeah let us know. Well, you could just email that question direct to... I guess I could. Christopher Norton at stacked.com. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could do that. I could do that. But if that bounces back, let us know.

Let us know, Christopher. All right. I think we've got time for one more. Sure. I've got to go and pick up my child. All right. I think we've got time for one more. Sure.

I've got to go and pick up my child. I've got to hit the gym and pick up something that's maybe the weight of your child. Oh, okay. Right. I was thinking, what could that be? Oh, a dumbbell. Yeah. How much do you lift?

To be honest, at F45, it kind of varies because you're on these pretty quick turnarounds in between all the stations. So often it's like, what can I fucking grab quickly? But if I'm doing like a chest press kind of thing, I go like 12 kilograms on each arm. On each arm? Yeah. Plus you got the 20, the bar's 20 kilos. No, these are like, just like, what are they called? Dumbbells.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. So you're just standing up lifting it. I'm on like a bench. Oh, right. Kind of doing it. You're pushing it into the air.

Opening it. No, well, like there's heaps of different stuff. I'll generally look for a 12 or so. Right. But yeah, the ones where you're doing the chest fly, like the open up thing. Oh, yeah. It's actually pretty hard to fucking get your arm back up yep um yeah but yeah what's your child way uh is that a rude question no no it would be to her little girl would be to her not to not to me yeah yeah that's that's

interesting because you're like they say never ask a lady their weight. Yeah. Or ask their age. Yeah. Is that the trick? You just ask their mum instead? Yeah. I want to ask your daughter out. I don't want to be ungentlemanly and ask her her age. So what I'll do is, now that I've got you, her father, on the phone,

I'll just ask you, when did you fuck and conceive her? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and the dad's thinking this is the call for the permission hand in marriage. Oh, yeah, I'm asking your permission. How much does she weigh? She never lets me put her on the scale. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what it is?

I'm asking your permission to find out how much she weighs. Yeah, yeah. Yes, that's correct. All right, let's do the last one. Last and fifth one, I believe, this week. Okay. All right. This is...

I don't know how many times we've had this, but okay. All right. This is something slightly different. Let me know if we've done this before, but anyway. We've got a Patreon subscriber with just the one name. Just one name. Wow. Yeah.

Very odd, but anyway. Okay. Thank you very odd. But anyway. Okay, thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Kikikikikikikikikikikomedy. Ah, yes. Okay. Yeah. How many C's was that? 69.

69 C's in a row. Well, it did sound like significantly less than that with the way you said it. I tried to rush it. Yeah, yeah. That's how I pronounce it. We're in a rush to get out of here. Sorry if that's not exactly how you pronounce it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I's how I pronounce it. We're in a rush to get out of here. Sorry if that's not exactly how you pronounce it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I did my best. Yeah. Well, thanks. K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k- show patreon.com slash little dumb dumb club get on there get yourself a couple of bonus episodes every week uh little dumb dumb club.com for tickets to the upcoming stuff that we've gone thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time see you