The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 562 - Tommy Little & Adam Rozenbachs

Episode Date: July 7, 2021

We're broadcasting from Little Towers this week, with TOMMY LITTLE and ADAM ROZENBACHS! We're incredibly overstimulated in Tommy's house as we get distracted by gumballs, bookcases and Big Buck Hunter machines, and we find out all about how Tommy's been purchasing homewares from a crazy shirtless neighbour. There's also a Chandler soccer comeback update, and a detailed summary of all the awkward interactions that Dassalo had while moving house. All this PLUS one-armed men and flotation tanks! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Tommy Little and Adam Rosenbachs. We have a bunch of live dates coming up that we have to let you know about all over the country. The 7th of August in Brisbane, it's sold out so we've added a second show across the street straight after it is a live recording of Talking Dumb Dumb. And Carl, if you wanted to get a ticket to that right now, would you have any luck or would you be shit out of luck? Who knows? Who knows? There wasn't many tickets as of time of recording.

Get on the website and check it out. See if there is one. But it's selling very, very fast. If you miss out on that, you could fly down to Melbourne the week after for the big 500th episode at the Athenaeum Theatre. Once again, very scant number of tickets left. That is coming up quickly. That's Saturday, August the 14th, Tommy. At the Athenaeum Theatre. Once again, very scant number of tickets left. That is coming up quickly. That's Saturday, August the 14th, Tommy.

At the Athenaeum Theatre, the biggest show we've ever done, so get in and be a part of that. We've got our rescheduled Perth date on the 9th of October. Over there in Perth, your original tickets are still valid to that if you had one of them. And then we have the Great Australian Podcast Festival, the 6th of November, Saturday the 6th of November, the Palais Theatre, us and a bunch of other podcasts taking part that weekend. But yeah, come and see us in the beautiful Palais Theatre down in St Kilda.

Absolutely. Heaps of live dates. Get along. Get along. LittleDumbDumbClub.com is where you can find all of that stuff. Enjoy this new episode. We'll be back at the end of it to talk to you more in Talking Dumb Dumb. But until then, enjoy this new one with Tommy Little and Adam Rosenbart.

Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. And with me, as always, the other half of the program, what's he going to say this week? Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead.

Trying some new. Fuck, he's done it again. Trying some new. He's reinvented the wheel. Yeah, I'll make a note of that. That seemed to work pretty well. Yep, yep. Make that into old gold, I reckon.

We've got two very special guests joining us today. Please welcome back into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Adam Rosenbachs and Tommy Little. Yes. Yes. Yes. It is so nice to be here, guys. Thanks for coming along to your house.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. When you asked me about locations, and you were like, oh, we could do it at yours, and I'm like, that's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

As long as I only have to come downstairs. Yeah, yeah. You're good like that. You're good like that. well to be fair you're a person with a lot of money that earns a lot of money in a good job and you're very good at spending it on fucking dumb shit so like i'm happy to do most weeks here if that's okay i just want to come in and see what you fucking bought next hang on is the offer to have you guys in my house more yeah no thanks when you're saying you spend money on dumb shit what like we'd be in here every week like on a retainer like little's just paying us to hang out in his house as you say that i'm looking at um antlers a gumball machine i was gonna say the gumball

machine buck hunter buck hunter directly behind you yeah yeah a globe that is a um uh what is it a bar a bar globe and then i've got a bottle collection from this guy, Crazy Dave, who opens his house as a shop, but he doesn't realise that that's a strange thing to do. Right, right. He's crazy. He's crazy. What?

I mean, I don't call him that to his face. Right. But yes, he thinks his house is a shop. Yeah, okay. And so he just opens the door and he sits shirtless on his bed. Hang on, hang on. How does this work? How did you find out about him?

I walked past his house one day and the door was open and he had a hand-drawn sign saying, shop, open. I know. It's that easy, folks. Yeah, it is. Who needs Gumtree? Is this like a van with free chocolate written on the side of it? Show me on the dolly where...

He has fucked me a lot. When I say crazy, Dave, I mean crazy in bed, dude. Well, it's a fuck shop. You didn't read the whole sign. Under the shop sign is another one that says seven days since last bumming. So I went in there and yeah, he was just sitting, he just sits shirtless on his bed.

And I'm like, hey, homie. And he's like, hey, man. And I'm like, is stuff for sale. And he's like, hey, man. And I'm like, is stuff for sale? How many other customers were in there? He's shirtless and you say he's stuff for sale. There's a lot of code going on in here. I think I'm the only person that goes there. But I buy so much stuff for him.

I usually go to his shop once a week. Cash or F-Pos? What are you buying? See these bottles with all the handwritten... So the gumball machine, that was for you. But then see the bottles up there with handwritten signs on them? So, like at the top, and their little toys. It was the gumball machine.

It's got $185 written on it. Is that what you paid for that? He takes me to the cleaners. Then he goes. Hang on, is that per gumball? I would spend $200 a week at Crazy Dave's. But if you charge $2 per ball, there's probably, what, $60 in there? You make two-thirds of that.

I can't charge $2 because the slot is for 20-cent coins. Between that and the... Also, very clearly, he's marked it up from $175 to $185. He's made an extra $10. Or a forensic policeman. I leave all the signs and stuff because I love his writing and he'll write like, it's meant

to say milk bottle, but it'll be like Mick Botti. And I'm like, Dave, you got any of those sweet Mick Botti's? But when McGregor used to live here, he would throw his stuff out. So I'd go out and I'd go out And I'd I'd buy these bottles

And then The bodies And then the next day I'm like McGregor Where are my Where are my bodies bro And he would've

Chucked them in the bin And I'm like Man that was 200 bucks For the McBodies So then I'd have to Go back to Dave's But during lockdown Obviously

I wasn't there Retail closed down Retail shut. Yeah, no browsing. He had to take the shop sign off and just have his house open. He just had to do click and collect from his shirtless on the bed. And they say it hurt big business bad. Crazy days.

He's no Harvey Norman. I went there for the first time after lockdown, and he put his arms up in the air, and he goes, where have you been? And I'm like, oh, sorry, man. Like it's been lockdown. And he just looked at me.

To be fair, you bought his CV so he didn't know about the pandemic. And he just looked at me with his eyes like, what is lockdown? Like, have you been to prison? And I was like,

I'm just not going to pursue it. But then when I went to leave, he scribbled his number down and he's like, you know, don't... Landline mobile. Don't mobile.

He's like, don't leave it so long. Yeah, yeah, right. So you've got, you got on tap now. Oh, bro. Yeah. Yeah.

So are you, are you just buying things out of his house? The things that he has in his house lying around, you're going in and buying them? No, he set it up like a shop. So my dream is to recreate his room in my house.

So one by one, I'm... But he's... Always shirtless? Almost always shirtless. Good, good. Consistency. The last time I went there, there was a rake on the bed and I had so many questions.

You don't rake your bed After you've slept in it You better be quick in the shop I've got a hot broad in bed But What was I saying Oh yeah no Sorry He'd set up a shop

But so much of the stuff Is not for sale So he's got like A whole wall of these tins Right And none of it's for sale. What? You can talk him around.

Yeah. You can talk him around, I reckon. How do you call yourself a shop if not everything's for sale? I mean, you just write it on a board out the front

and hope that I walk past. Right. Where's he getting his stuff from? Do you know? No, I don't. Is he one of these people that buys it? Right.

I think he would go to maybe, you know. Like Trashy Treasure kind of things. One of those people that's just combing those places. You know what he does? He just goes to the bins of your house and finds the stuff that McGregor threw out and then you're buying it again. Imagine if he takes off a mask at the end of this

and it is McGregor. I love the idea of recreating his house because between the Buckhunter machine and the Gumball machine, you're not far off setting up your own time zone in this house. That would be good. Get a Dance Dance Revolution machine in the corner

and you'll be away, I reckon. Also, you'd know if he was McGregor because he would have been a lot crazier than he currently is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. McGregor calls him Sane Day. But his shop is across the road, like a block down from a swanky restaurant That I really like

And so I often go and eat there And in between Like entree or after a drink I would then go over and see Dave And the restaurant is so sick of me Because I always bring back like a gumball Why can't this happen after the meal? Why has this got to be happening mid-surf?

I have a twin entree. He's at his moe and then he wants to do it, so he wants a gumball. Yeah, exactly. I don't want to drink out of a glass. I want to drink out of a mick botty. I don't know where I can get one. But once he came over the road, I'd left a bottle, and he came over the road and I could see the staff

making this horrified look at the window. And it's Dave, shirtless knocking on the window because i'd left a milk body yeah and so i came out and grabbed it but the staff was just like i didn't tell them what was going on i don't need to know but then it's like what's happened why is a shirtless man chased you was the shirtless man trying to get it back for himself or trying to say you forgot this? No, I left it there. Right.

You left your $200 milk body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I only got two bodies of $200. You heard the dessert bell. You're like, I'd better get back to the restaurant. My brulee's out. The crock and bush is served. Pack up that mick body.

So you're the reason why people do pretend to be from Nigeria and pretend to be the treasurer so someone out there going yeah fuck it

why not just chuck some money at something yeah you're a person with too much money if you're paying

that much for mick bodies I'm a prince from shut up and sell me I don't care yeah your house look at the moment,

because we recorded an episode here a couple of years ago and then you've had the place all kind of renovated and done since then. Yeah, when McGregor was living here. One summer we came around. Yeah, we came around, we did an episode with you and I think McGregor was sitting there. Yeah, he went quiet. Because afterwards he said to me, when you guys were there,

he said, who the fuck was that why did we have Mike the house now looks like one of those Graham base books

you know like Anna Maley where it's like these very detailed illustrations where it's like how many different little

things can you find in this picture there's a McBotty there's a fireplace I've said on the

way in but I'm very impressed by you've got the big bookcase and everything, and then you've got an actual ladder, like in movies, in libraries, where you get the ladder that slides along. Yeah, you know what's so offensive about that? So that was the one thing I really wanted,

because exactly that, seeing it in movies, and I was like, my mate designed the place, and he's like, what do you want? And I was like, man, what can I have? And he's like, what do you mean, mate? It's yours. What would you like? It's your house. I was like, man, can I, what can I have? He's like, what do you mean, mate? Like, what would you like? It's your house. I was like,

what about a ladder with a bookshelf? And he's like, yeah, mate, that's okay, we can do that. But now anyone that comes in,

if they haven't seen the post, they look at it, it's always the same. They look at the bookshelf, the library, they look at me and they look at the bookshelf and they go,

huh, I didn't know you read. Yeah, yeah. It's so fucking weird. I did think it was a bit obvious. I did hold it back, yeah. Pardon me, I don't know who you judged for being able to reach my very high up Zoo Weekly magazines that I'm storing up there.

Thank you. My first thought was, I don't think you're reaching for books on the bottom level, let alone up the top level. Top shelf Milk botties up there Yeah That's where you should Keep your pornos

That's literally Recreated in your age Top shelf stuff Yeah Isn't it so nice When Chando just Shows his age Yeah

So that's where you should Keep your pornos Like they're physical Items Stop putting them Under your fucking mattress Bring them out mate You live by yourself

Or Weida Under your dad's mattress Why do you do that? You want them to be easily accessible So yeah The last time we spoke to you On the show You were waiting for this place to be finished

You were living in an old church Yes When they filmed a porno That's where they filmed a porno I think they were frequently trying to film pornos You told me They were like People would always book it on Airbnb

Man did I tell you I don't know if it happened then did i tell you about so my housemate johnny when we're in that place the church was so scary um and because it had it wasn't homely it's like it was a church and and because there was a music studio downstairs we didn't realize for ages but there was these whirring noise and stuff coming through and it was really muffled musos playing late into the night but we had no idea and so it sounded just like yeah right but it's baffled sound yeah and one night there was a storm there and because of all the skylights when lightning hit it lit up the whole joint and it was terrifying and i went went to bed and then um is this a story about you and Johnny swapping bodies?

I came out, I, I heard this, um, I heard this like, and I'm like, oh my God, what's that? I get out of bed. I opened the door into that main living room. It's just pitch black, but there's the voice is coming from in the middle of the blackness and it's gone. And I just yell, I go, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. And then the voice stops. Johnny opens the door, hits on a light and he goes, oh, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, and then the voice stops, Johnny opens the door, hits on a light,

and he goes, oh, what, oh, oh, so sorry, so sorry, so sorry,

I didn't know, my Bluetooth was hooked up, and the speaker was in the middle of the room, and he'd put a porno on, and so, so the porn was coming from the Bluetooth speaker, and it was a guy, he's like,

and Johnny's like, oh, sorry, and just in his jocks with, and Johnny's like, oh, sorry. And just in his jocks with a half monk. Oh, yeah. Great. Just the way you were doing that noise,

I was like, is this a story of you being haunted by Tim the Toolman Taylor? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, so you've, yeah, you moved in here

at the start of this year. We're talking about this on the pod last week. I've just moved house into a new place, living with my girlfriend now. You've come to the good side. Come over to Fitzroy.

It's great. It's already really had a devastating effect on the arrival times of Carl Chandler to the podcast. It's fucking not helping me. I used to walk or run to your place, and I'm like, fuck this. I've got to do a fucking podcast. Yeah.

I mean, it's a podcast. You can start whenever. Yeah, I know, I know, but it's a... But the motherfucker was late. Yeah. It was so convenient.

There was a tram that went directly from his house to my house that took 10 minutes. I could walk there. It was about 3K. It was fucking beautiful. Because walking,

it takes the same amount of time every time. Yeah, you don't get held up by foot traffic. Yeah. Yeah, yeah don't get held up by foot traffic. Yeah. Sorry, guys. The pavement was packed today, guys. It was literally bum to bum out there.

There was a three-man pile-up on the footpath of Woods Road. You know what it's like when everyone's walking out of work at the same time? People just on the footpath all at once. Yeah, I shouldn't have booked it for 5pm at your place on a Friday. Too many people on the footpath. And there's so much food you can get on the way there and whatever. It's like now fucking so much traffic. It's bullshit.

Yeah, you should just leave your car. You should park your car at my old building. So you get that walk to my old house and then you just drive from there. But bro, you're 15 minutes away. From where? Here. No, that was not 15. Man, that took me fucking nearly 45 minutes just then saturday afternoon traffic is fucked at the moment though because everyone's back playing sport the little fuckhead yeah all the parents

are out yeah fuck them yeah that's why i didn't want to say i was at school well i'm not out off peak yeah yeah exactly you don't ruin people's weekends. Yeah. That's why I didn't want to play school sports when I was at school. I was like, mum and dad, I'm just thinking of the other adults that need to get around. That's why I don't want to go and play tennis on a Saturday morning. Well, that's it. Well, I'll bring this up as a slight update. So the last couple of weeks we've been talking about this.

I've been hassled by a mate of mine that I played soccer with 20 years ago. Every time I talk to him on Facebook, he'll pop up and he'll be like, oh, come back and play, come back and play. I don't believe this. this i've been hassled by a mate of mine that i played soccer with 20 years ago every time i talked to him on facebook he'll pop up and he'd be like oh come back and play come back and play i don't believe this well that's exactly what happened so like also when are you when are you off facebook well i'm doing business but i know nothing like i couldn't even name who has ever been in the comedians soccer team but i know one thing about that yes and that's that you're the worst no that's not that you're the worst no that's not true

no no not the worst of playing apparently you yell at everyone and you make what is meant to be a fun game horrible

or sorting the weed out from the chaff as I call it and you steal in a friendly so maybe it's taken this dude 20 years to forget how

awful that was well maybe but I think I think comedy's changed me. I don't think I was like that back then as much. Mate, he's in the team of the century. That's it. Can you believe that? What do you mean?

I'm in the team of the century. So, Dalesford Soccer Club. How long have they been around for, by the way? 10 years? 25 years. I haven't played for 20 years. Did you bring up the team of the century? Like, I think we should have a team of the century.

No, no, no I didn't I don't know who did but yeah it's a ridiculous idea but anyway We've gone pretty well There wasn't many

to choose between they've won one premiership ever I was in it It's pretty tough to leave me out Boys, this one's feeling good

I'm calling it This is the podcast of the century Let's put that on the record So every time he pops up and he's like, oh, you should come and play and whatever.

And then a couple of weeks ago, I was like, you know what? I've been getting fitter and fitter during lockdown and all that sort of stuff. I'm like, you know what? Fuck it, I'll go and play. And then I went back to him and it very much turned into that thing of going, you know when people say, we should catch up one time.

You go, okay. And then they go, I was just saying that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate that when they go, when? Yeah. And you're like, never, literally did that last night saying goodbye i had a beer with a mate from school last night and it was it was that it was like me actually taking him up on the like passing each other in the street being like yeah we should i was like you know what fuck it now i moved house i'm living

a bit closer to him i'm doing it and i hit him up I'm like let's get a beer and then like we meet up and he's immediately like so why'd you contact me like I think he thought I was going to tell him I was fucking dying or something like that this hurts

so we're not catching up for a beer tonight no no yeah no I mean there's exceptions to every rule

yes I'll be back I had to do the other day a waiter at a restaurant, and he was wearing a mask, and he came over and he goes, Tommy, like this. And I was like, oh, damn.

It was a guy I haven't seen in ages, right? And you knew who it was. I knew who it was. Yeah, and he gets up and he goes, man, I didn't think you'd remember me. And I'm like, are you joking, Bo? And he came around and he goes, what are we doing? And he holds out that elbow fist. And I went, no, are you kidding think you'd remember me. And I'm like, are you joking, bro? And he came around and he goes, what are we doing? And held out that like elbow fist. And I went, no, are you kidding?

And I gave him a huge hug. Then he takes his mask off and I'm like, I've never seen you before. And he goes, yeah, all the other waiters were teasing me because they were saying to me that you won't remember who I am. And look at us. And I'm like, yeah. Look at us doing our thing yeah so you had familiar eyes you're looking at the eyes and you're going i know this man for sure i thought it was an old mate right and then he put the mouth and then he took and he said we worked together you thought it was an old mate who is now a waiter that you didn't know that he'd gone into waiting a dude that i hadn't seen in years right yeah

yeah um but he mentioned a job that we did together in the past. I don't even remember doing the job. Okay. I was like, this must have been the most fleeting of... Right, right. But he was like, man, I thought I was desperate holding on to these memories and then you've just hugged me like a psychopath. Tommy's keener than I am, guys.

You've actually gone deeper. He just wanted to fist bump you. That's it. You can't do the hug and then go, sorry, what was your name? As I wipe your DNA off my dick, mouth and arsehole. In the middle of a pandemic, as I take my tongue out of your arsehole, sorry, and you are? Sorry, I've got you pubing my teeth.

What was your name again, good man? Don't be hugging the weight stuff. I don't want to go there. What happens if you hug the weight stuff? Well, they need to be put down. I was going to say that. I was going to say something about giving them a tip. I pulled out.

So, sorry. So, I said to him, all of a sudden it went pretty cold, but I'd come on here and talked about this and everyone had gone, no, you've got to do it

sort of thing. So I've gone back and gone, yeah, I mean, I mean, I mean, and then he's just left me

on read for fucking ages. He's also got, as I talked about last week, he spleened me. He comedy-ed spleened me. I said yes and then instead of him going, of course,

he's gone, come up and show your face and sign up and say hello to a few people. It's fucking Dalesford, though. And I'm trying not to go, I'm in the fucking team of the century. And he's like, no, no, you can't. All right, I'll come up.

I'll come up. So I come up, said hello, whatever. They'll give you five to seven. Yeah, yeah, yeah, off the bench. Yeah, yeah. So I came back. And then I've gone, hey, loved watching the match. Great.

I can't. You know, how do you do it up there? I get so nervous. Where do you get your ideas. I can't, you know, how do you do it up there? I get so nervous. Where do you get your ideas from on the field, you know? How do you remember it all? Nick Capper said he'd vouch for me as a good soccer player. Yeah. All those vibes.

It was so, and then I've put that, and I've gone back and forth. Why don't you have any women in the team? It's Daylesford. They are the women. So I've come back and I've gone oh yeah yeah great team and I was great

great to get up there great to say hello to everyone and he's like back and forth with me the whole time yeah good to see you good to see you

what about and then I've gone how about so do I come up next weekend or you know whatever and then just went

left me on read left me on read for like a couple of days and I'm like fuck and then I was talking last week fuck him maybe I'll go and play for Maribor instead so anyway he's defected yeah i know

that was easy those classic rivals yeah well i'm like i never played seniors for my hometown so i'm like well fucking because they play each other they're going to play each other in a couple of weeks and i was like this would be good revenge i'm going to play for marabara how easy is it to just slot into a team they obviously clearly have their side at the moment so why would you expect to be able to walk in

well put it this way because I'm thinking of my memories from 20 years ago when I last played and I remember what the reserves used to be like

and they were fucking terrible like they were verging on some people that were unable to fucking talk let alone play soccer

you know what I love about this that you said it would be a great revenge if you turn up playing on the other team I think you're misunderstanding revenge yeah I can talk You know what I love about this That you said it would be A great revenge If you turn up Playing on the other team I think you're

Misunderstanding revenge Yeah Revenge for who? That would be if their Star player turned up But when they go You know that guy That couldn't get a game

And most people go No Well he's playing On the other team Oh He's in the team of the century Do we have a team of the century? Yeah

God I feel revenged against But that's what you need In sports motivation like if it's revenge then I might be able to play well so you have a picture of the

Dalesford soccer team on your mirror yes every day exactly very quickly I went from I want to be in that team

to I want to kill that team great and so I'm thinking maybe I can get in because from you know from 20 years ago I remember the reserves

used to be like this you know not a great team and surely I can still get in that team and then I looked at who's playing so eventually From 20 years ago, I remember the reserves used to be like this, not a great team. And surely I can still get in that team. And then I looked at who's playing. So eventually my mate has gone, he's come back to me and said,

okay, after two days or something, he's obviously gone into the hub and pleaded my case to all the rest of them. And they go, yeah, you can be on the bench in the reserves and maybe you get on, maybe you don't or whatever. So look at the fixtures. So it's next Sunday. They're playing at home against a team called North United. And I was like, great, because my memories of North United, 20 years ago, the team that they used to play was this rabble,

including a man with one arm. He's not going to handball. He wasn't the goalkeeper. I'll clear that up. That's so unnecessary to point out. No. Including a man that had bushy eyebrows. No, no.

I don't think that that's the same level. You can play soccer with one arm. You can't. You don't have the balance. What do you mean? People with one arm don't walk around falling over. He doesn't veer off to the right. How many?

If you run around this kitchen right now, wherever we are, with one arm... This is... You know what? No, but he grew up with it. It wasn't lopped off yesterday. Put it this way.

Also, it's not behind his back. No. You're saying... You need balance. You need two arms. You need... How many planes do you see with one wing fly up? He's not a plane.

He's not a plane. He's not a plane. He's not taking off into the atmosphere. He's taking off onto the soccer pitch. Also, you see seagulls with one leg all the time. That's one leg, not one wing. Yes, but he's running. A wing is an arm. Hang on.

Hang on. A wing is not an arm. It's what it is. Okay, fly then. Come on. Put wing is not an arm. It's what it is. Okay, fly then. Come on. Put it this way. I have strong memories of this guy because I used to, and this shows that it's necessary because in soccer,

hang on, if he's playing, then he could obviously stand. He wasn't falling. He's standing up now. We're getting a full act out. But I used to deliberately do this. If I played against him, I would deliberately do this, where, you know, in soccer you're trying to send people the wrong way and stuff. I'd put all my weight on one side of the body

and make him think I'm going on one way, and then quickly go back the other, and he would fall over. He would literally topple over. I don't think it's an arm thing. It is an arm thing! You know what really shit him? Do you have vertigo? No.

What shits me about the argument we just had when you said, even though I was disagreeing with you, when you said wings are arms, in my head I went, wings are arms. Yes. That was in the examples we were going through. But where do you think you draw the line on that? So if someone loses one finger, do you reckon they're a little off balance? No.

Oh, why not? What about a hand? You asked me where I draw the line. That's where I'm drawing the line. Hand. Handless. In a goalkeeper, yes. Of course.

No, but still, that would affect the balance. By your logic, there's a little less weight on that side now because the hand's the one. Yeah, but by the logic, I mean, like, it's not the same thing to have, like, one coin in your pocket as you play. But if you have fucking one million coins in your pocket, that's going to make a difference.

You understand that things can balance without being symmetrical, right? But this cunt could not. I'm telling you, I've seen him. Well, this is all to say that you... Also, his boots are unlaced for the whole game. This is all to say that this guy... This guy will end up being your teammate in a few weeks when Mary Burrow rejects you as well.

That was 20 years ago. He'll have grown it back. He's not a lizard. I'll make that clear. There's no way you've never seen, like even in a straight line, how many one-armed sprinters? Bro, what do you mean?

Paralympics. There's a whole Olympics. Yeah, but they don't race against people with two arms. But they also make it to the end of the 100-metre straight. So you're saying that's fine, that's no disadvantage. I'm saying you're balancing it. I want to play in the Paralympics then. If we're all the same...

Bro, you'd qualify. No! Play them this episode and you'll qualify. I love this image of you, the story you told about coming at him on the field and him falling over. And tricking him out. Yeah, in his head going like,

oh no, he's using both of his arms, I'm fucked. He broke my ankles. Is that a yellow card offence if I deliberately trip him over like that by using my body weight Like that to trick him I think so So you So you're saying

Like say you had a counterweight On that side Then he might be Yes So some sort of ballast He should have Some sort of mannequin arm Or something

Or like a kettlebell Yes Strapped to his body Yes It's unfair Look I knew I was being A cunt at the time But it was also

A very funny thing Don't say at the time. Yeah. I was like, it's far worse now. You had 20 years to stew on this. Is there perhaps a Daylesford special side that you could join and just fucking mop the floor with the opposition? Well, again, 20 years ago, I think it was pretty close.

Yeah. But I've gone to watch them now, and now they're actually pretty good. So now I'm actually a little bit like, fuck, I came home and did a bit of extra training. I'm like, I've got to fucking... I could very much embarrass myself. Does that mean you came home and did some training? No, no.

Well, yes, yes. Pop a limb off just so you've got an excuse. I bet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that guy was just so good, he was like, I could beat you with one hand tied behind my back. Oh, whoops, no, I couldn't. I love the idea of you looking at someone with two arms and going,

there's no way to get them off balance. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, whoop, I've met my match here. Guys, don't even try faking them out. It's impossible. Someone get a chainsaw. No, no, we've got to win. We've got to win.

Yeah. So I'm I'm Just waking up from a horrible accident Doc give it to me straight Can I play soccer Is my balance gonna be okay Can I Can I

Can I run How will I run Yeah they tell you You'll never run again You're like But I've got two legs You go mate You've fucking lost an arm

Like are you an idiot You don't understand running Yeah These are all making sense to me, these things you're saying. It's like we say in the Hippocratic Oath, an arm is a wing, okay? Yeah, yeah, you can run, you can't fly, unfortunately, now that you've only got one arm. You know what I've just realised? Just before we started recording, you went, hang on, I've got to get my phone out to look at my notes.

I've made some notes. Was one of the notes to talk about this? One arm equals no balance. All Alright, I'm good to go boys. Let's hit the recorder. Theory of physics. No, that's not even a note. Keep the rest of your powder dry, mate. I can get to my notes if we run out of time.

Well, I've got something that I'm curious, because I reckon one of you will have tried what I did for the first time. Right. If it's sex, you're wrong. Talk for yourself, mate. I was just picturing a one-armed person kept falling off someone when they're having sex. I did a flotation tank for the first time. I've always wanted to, but I haven't.

Right. Rosie? No, I haven't. No, I've looked into it, but I've never done it. The old deprivation Yeah I thought it would be In your wheelhouse Yes

I like the idea of it But I just have never Got round to it Well here's a little I've floated Do you know Are you floated I've gotten tanked

Bro That's it Talk to me Did you love it I By the end I was enjoying it It kind of feels like Your first one is a bit

Of a write off Because you just So much of it is like Getting used to Like the whole feeling of it. And by the end, I was like, all right, I'm settled into this. If you get in there with one arm, are you just fucking rolling around? I'm drowning.

No, I'm not. Real boring. How long are you in there for? You're not a person I would have thought to do this, given that I know your history of you going overseas to go to a meditation resort, you walking in one hour later going, is there any strippers in this joint or what? See ya.

You literally ran away from a meditation camp, didn't you? I ran away in the middle of the night because I was going insane and I didn't think they'd let me leave. And they're like, see you, Mr. Little. Did the old one-armed man in the door, curved around right back out of it. No, I just went real romance, like rom-com on them, and I was like, you're not even going to put up a fight. You're just going to watch me walk out of here.

It's a meditation camp, not a meditation concentration camp. Yeah, yes, yes. Meditation will set you free. Gas seeping in the showers But it's like lavender scented That's great That's the reason I was wondering where you were

Fucking going with that That's the reason I did it To try and get better at Being still And you know Doing that stuff And I They gave me a warning

They said when you Go and he said If you've got any Here's some Vaseline If you've got any open cuts Jesus Just you know Put it on that And I some Vaseline. If you've got any open cuts, just put it on that. And I was thinking, of course I don't have any open cuts. It should be a deal breaker.

You're not allowed in the tapio. Also, if you're going to go in there and not say anything and just sit by yourself in a room and then they give you a Vaseline, I would have thought that's for a different reason. Yeah, maybe that's what he said. He didn't say open cuts. He said it's for you butt sluts. I was like, yeah, I didn't have any open cuts.

What happened? He said, oh, because there's 750 kilos of salt in the tank, so it'll just sting like buggery. So anyway, if you don't, that's fine. And I was like, yeah, sure. And then he left, and you have a shower. She's in the room. And it's all very calming music, soft lighting and stuff.

And I'm thinking, isn't this lovely? And then I lower myself down into the tank. And even though I did not have any open cuts, I had just shaved my balls. And the scream pain. He would have just heard from one of the rooms over this soft music. He just would have heard the lead on me.

So I was like, great. I do love that idea. I can't be at one with myself with hairy balls. I better shave these first before. And the alternative would have been him walking back in on me dunking my nuts into a tub of Vaseline. Smothering the minute.

So yeah, you're in there for the full hour just with the balls just in agony. Yeah. Did they settle? Yes. It was a minute of real pain. Yep, yep, yep. A minute of subtle pain and then we're good and then how long before you like switch off and do you get into that like you know um meditative state where you feel like you're

you know dropping well i hit that i kept falling asleep yeah yeah yeah i'd just like wake up and be like twitch yeah because i did hypnotherapy and that's kind of the the levels that they take you down to so it's sort of like that. On the edge is the consciousness. Yeah, yeah. So you'd be talking and it sounds like you're miles away, but I'm still with it. I've talked about this years ago on the podcast, but I used to live in a place in Ballarat in a share house

and then I moved out, but I moved out directly. What did you move out for? Well, I moved out. It was a terrible house and it was haunted. It was weird. No, that's a Bluetooth on. Yeah, yeah. a terrible house and it was haunted it was weird now that's that's a bluetooth on yeah yeah so I moved directly

I moved directly over the road but someone in my house then still knew the people that moved into that house oh yeah and

they were fucking weird people and they moved in and they built their own um fucking what's it called deprivation tank yes

really but surely you mean they just bought one. No. They made their own. That's nuts. Yeah, so it wasn't like vertical. It was horizontal.

What they got was... Hang on. They, yeah, I hope I'm right in saying this. No, you lie down in them. Yes. Horizontal. This, you didn't. What they got was two wheelie bins.

They took out, they hollowed them out and put them on top of each other. You mean they hollowed them out? Well, they got the top off one and the bottom off the other. Hey, when are those bin holler-outers coming this week? Is it Tuesday? When are the excavators coming into the rubbish? So they put them on top of each other and then filled them with water

and then made their own some sort of harness. So, like, the place was on a second story. Yeah. And then they would just harness themselves down into two bins full of fucking bin juice. And salt. And then play. And they were like fucking metalheads or something. And then they would just blast fucking loud music into the two bins.

So, were they doing... Did they have ice or something in there i don't sorry i'm literally like yeah no no either way i'm not sure yeah is it was it like a therapy because the idea of the float is you float yes i know but sorry i know you get that yeah you fucking dumb cunt i wasn't looking at the setup going fucking tickety-boo to me this seems perfect so did you go over and see it? Like did you see him doing it? Or is this all from afar?

I saw two bins Yeah And then I was like What the fuck is going on there? And they were like Oh dude That's obviously their probation tank They also had

They also had half a police car there Very fucking weird There's a snow town written all over it Yeah you know Totally Totally It was fucking weird Also the timing of this is great

Just them being like God I'm pretty stressed After that guy moving out Let's build a floatation tank To take the edge off Half Yeah the front half Of a cop car was there

I don't know why Cut in half Yes That's amazing Yeah You wouldn't steal a whole one Hang on Is this giving you ideas

We're looking around the room Is this the thing You're missing from your house This is Crazy Dave's Isn't it This is an origin story Of Crazy Dave Hang on, is this giving you ideas? We're looking around the room. Is this the thing you're missing from your house? This is Crazy Dave's, isn't it? This is an origin story of Crazy Dave. That half a cop car would be terrible at soccer. I'll give you that.

Terrible on the field. Terrible at driving you to the game. So there you go. I did a picture of organised crime bosses busting out their mate from the back of a cop car and stealing the wrong half. Yeah. Now we've got two cops. organised crime bosses busting out their mate from the back of a cop car and stealing the wrong heart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, now we've got two cops.

Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know. I couldn't vouch for it. I never got a go at it. I was never brave enough. You didn't go ask for can I have a hoon on your bin? No, no, no.

Give us a dunk. Yeah, yeah. Look, in hindsight, I wish I had, but at the time, I was quite rightly going, these guys are fucking insane. How did they get up to get in?

Because it was on the, there was a stairway. Oh, so they'd lower themselves down. From the second story. Yeah, from the second story. And so you'd need your mate to pull you out. Yes. Or you'd have to like rock it and tip it. Yes.

Fucking hell, that's a lot of fucking, that's a lot of confidence in that fucking fellow stoner. And also like below was like, there was like a fully, you know, working cafe. So like these people were doing this stuff. And like someone's coming out to fucking, coming out to chuck the old sandwiches out. And these fucking hippies are just headfirst into these fucking two bins. Getting real relaxed. Well, you're a pretty stressed guy. It must be good to know that you can just build your own flotation tank.

You don't need to fuck around with going to the place that Tommy went to. Oh, you don't want my secondhand ball juice anyway. I want secondhand bin juice instead of 20 years ago. So will you go back? Yes. Okay, you don't want my secondhand ball juice anyway. No, I want secondhand bin juice instead of 20 years ago. So will you go back? Yes. Okay, you enjoyed it? No, I found it hard. I found it hard too, but it's the point.

You want to get over that. I was going like, you know what would be perfect? Get the Nintendo Switch rigged up in the ceiling of this thing. It'll be fucking good to see. Yeah, and then actually get the Switch. Instead of putting it in here, put it just out of here and then I can sit out of here and have a couch. Maybe a few beers.

Mate, can we get some of the salt out of this water? Because I'm trying to drown myself in here. I keep floating up. Maybe get some of that happening. Could you take edibles, or would that just fuck you up if you were a bit like... If it went wrong, I think it would be... But you can just get out whenever you want. You're not locked in there.

Yeah. Wait, you weren't? You're like an idiot. That guy's sitting on the lid. I thought this was the world's worst escape room. What's it like just floating there? Sorry. So you can't sink.

Yeah, okay. Because of the salt. Yeah. Which meant that I could nod off and it was fine. You can nod off while you're floating. Oh, I was nodding off the whole time. Yeah, okay. Because of the salt. Yeah. Right. Which meant that I could nod off and it was fine. You can nod off while you're floating. Oh, I was nodding off the whole time. Yeah. You've done that?

You sort of meant to, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I got close and I felt like I shouldn't, but... Right. This is like the Dead Sea or whatever. Is it the sea? Dead Sea, yeah. You can't drown in the Dead Sea or you've got to be fucking pretty fat.

Yeah, you've got to be swimming down. Yeah, yeah. You've got to be pretty fat. You've got to be swimming down yeah yeah you've got to be pretty fat imagine that being your dying thought oh I'm fat enough that I've drowned I've clocked the Dead Sea

they said this was impossible except for those morbidly obese enough I ate so many chips I've busted physics fuck this is ultra suicide I've really done

an impressive one here so yeah to go back to the yeah moving house of busted physics. Fuck. This is ultra suicide. I've really done an impressive one here. So yeah, to go back to the moving house, did it a week ago, had the movers turn up at the masturbatorium. Man with a van?

Man with a van, yep. Give them a sweet plug, why not? They came through. Did you have them get you into this place? Oh,

I don't know. Someone, but it wasn't man with a van. I don't know if you had the same experience, but I had, what I have to assume is the, forgetting two guys,

the very common setup of the moving man, where one of them, Good moving van, bad moving van? Little bit. Yeah, slightly.

Nah, don't move it. I reckon that looks good where it is. Don't listen to me mate I need to help you It says kitchen But I'm putting that In the fucking bedroom

Don't worry He's just angry But he actually moves stuff Really well Yeah I can't control him When he's like this I saw him throw a bed

Off the freeway once I mean I'd do what he said If I was you But we're mates We get each other When do you keep your phone books Why are you asking? Yeah, so like the two guys, and I assume this is pretty standard.

First guy, pretty young, very affable, very chatty, very friendly guy. Like he comes in, he sees my guitar. He's like, oh, wow, that's a great Stratocaster. And then he's like, oh, my dad was in bands growing up, so he taught me about musical equipment and stuff. Shut the fuck up, mate. Just pick the strat up, mate. Take it to the fucking truck.

Move this conversation, bro. He's not a man with a combo. Oh, he taught you respect for the instrument, did he? Okay, well, there better be no fucking scratches on this when it turns up at the new address. But so him, you know, he's the front-facing guy. He's talking me through The whole operation

And then his mate The other guy What's he talking you through We're going to pick this shit up We're going to put it in there We're going to move it He goes to the truck Yeah

Then the truck goes to the next location Slow down Slow down Sorry too much technical speak A truck is the Big brick on wheelie things out there Hang on why are you saying truck I hired a man with a van.

I want a van. What's this truck bullshit? I'm not paying for this. A van is going to take 20 times as long. I said I want it. And there's two of you. I hired a man with a van, not a man with a van. I hired a man with a van.

I thought I was getting a pedophile here. All of a sudden you're trying to pick up all my fucking worldly possessions. Man with an ice cream van. Getting your stuff moved in by guaranteed pedoph here. All of a sudden you're trying to pick up all my fucking worldly possessions. Men with an ice cream van getting your stuff moved in by guaranteed pedophiles. And we certify them. We do background checks.

We make sure that they've got a criminal record. We show them an adult in the nude that if they don't get a hard on, you're in. All the reviews

are just like, well, people say it's right. They are very affable. So him, then his mate, he's up the back, he's coming in. Now, I don't want to speculate about what was going on with this guy. Shit.

But let's just say he seemed to be able to stand in the apartment and then immediately visualize where everything was going to sit in the van. Yeah, right. Awesome. You get what I'm getting at? That's what you want. Perfect. Sort of get what I'm getting at?

A pro. Kind of looks, standing in the room, like eyes half closed. He's like, now, if you have some pillows, that's going to help me a lot because I think I'm going to be able to get the wardrobe in here and then have the two seats sitting on top of it like that. You know. A rain moving man. Yeah, yeah.

Did you and Chando have a meeting before the pod and just think, hey, who can we have a crack at? Who's left? I've got a one-armed bloke from 20 years ago. I've got an autistic guy. Not how to go at you. Your words, not mine. Hey, it's difficult. When it's me and Tommy, it's pretty hard to punch down,

but we manage it. That was like you were going through your phone. Who else? Who below us? I saw her going in a wheelchair before and he's fucking... And I reckon we're

at least even with him. Maybe, yeah. It really is like drowning in the Dead Sea. We found a way to do it. To punch down. So, yeah,

this other guy, this guy who, you know, had the real aptitude for details. What's to say there? We get it, bro. He's got a bit of the real aptitude for details. What's to say there? We get it, bro. He's got a bit of a real aptitude for details.

He's a real keen eye. A real keen eye. I would love you to write the synopsis for Rain Man and do that. Tom Cruise hangs out with his brother who has a real aptitude for details. PG. What does aptitude mean? Oh, you're apt. You're adept at something.

You're good at something. He's good at it. You know, he's got a real flair for it. A real... Comes naturally to him. Yeah. An incredibly keen eye. Yes. Possibly one of the keenest eyes you can have.

Good. Perfect. Great. Yeah. For sure. Not knocking it. Great. Good for him. He's in, for sure. Not knocking it. Great, good for you. You are not.

It's in the right business. I'm not knocking it yet. You're just noticing it. You've got a good keen eye for this sort of disability. Yes. That's my one of that. Yes, yes. So he like midway through.

My one of that. Midway through picking up and moving stuff out of my house, he turns to me and he goes, bro, do you like Nickelback? Great. And I'm like, what's – I just go, mate, I don't know what the right answer is here. Is that what you said? Yeah.

I was like, well, I don't know what answer you want. What? What? I couldn't tell. Is that a testing question, do you think? I was like, is this guy really into Nickelback? Or if you say yes, all your stuff's getting smashed. Yeah, yeah., do you think? I was like, is this guy really into Nickelback? Or if you say yes, all your stuff's getting smashed. Yeah, yeah.

What would you think if you asked someone, if it's not Nickelback, if it's any band, hey, do you like the Red Hot Chili Peppers? And they said, I don't know what answer you want. And you're having a crack at old mate risk. He's packing the boxes just like, geez, this dude's a bit weird. Can't answer a simple question.

Tommy's not paying for the box packing part. You packed the boxes yourself, didn't you? Yeah. What do you mean? Packed the boxes myself. Oh, is that an extra fee? What the fuck on earth it is? Oh, I don't know.

I've never used it. Is that a thing you can do? Get them to do the boxes and shit as well? It's not cheap. That's the thing about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That seems like... Old mate over here.

He hasn't fucking packed a box in his life. No, no, no, no. Why would you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why would you? What's the bottom wiping fee when they're in here as well? It's all part of the service. Wiping, tonguing, please.

I can't have any open wounds for my next float. No wastage, too. I'm environmental. Nothing porous, please. You know I've got a dainty daint. So, yeah, he asked me that and then I go, I don't know what answer you want. What would your answer have been? No.

Well, yeah. I don't know what answer. But if you're asking that, it's like... It's come out of nowhere. Yeah, it's like he's going to go, they're actually not as bad as people think. He's not in front of a stereo at the time. He's not like going, well, I'll put it on then.

He was actually holding the stereo. Oh, right, right, right. But it's not like you have a Creed poster up at home. No, no. He was holding your Nickelback collection. And you're like, I don't know what answer to give. And Tommy's like, I don't know why I'm going to give. And Tommy's like, I don't know why you're asking me this question.

Dressed as Chad Kroger. I was like, I don't know, man. Yeah. How you remind me, I guess it's still a pretty good song. And he's like, yeah,

it is a pretty good song. And then he just gets back on with the task at hand. And that's it. And I was like, all right, nothing got broken. That was the end of the Nickelback chum bar. That was the end of the Nickelback combo.

That was the end of the Nickelback chat. You've got to get better at conversing. Yeah. Just like when someone says, you know, it's a nice day, just go, yeah. That isn't really a nice day. If you said that today, it's sort of not really. I'm going to get the answer wrong.

But maybe you like the weather like this. I don't want to offend you. Sorry, I've just got one question out of all this. Do you like Nickelback? Yeah. No. See, that was easy. So do you reckon they're in the truck going, that guy was really good with detail about...

Yeah. He was really good at playing computer games. Despite knowing the song title. But maybe the bloke's holding all of Tommy's fine china, saying, do you like Nickelback? If Tommy says no, he just fucking drops the lot of it. You do like your china. I do love my china, yeah.

Maybe it went the other way. Maybe they got in the car and they were like, oh my God, that's the simplest question. Everybody says no. This guy couldn't even bring himself to say no. Right. Maybe he's dropping off. You got a vinyl collection? Yep.

Do you like Nickelback? Moves everything in, all of a sudden he's given you a few Nickelback. House warming gift. Gets me a Nickelback? Moves everything in, all of a sudden he's given you a few Nickelback. House warming gift. Gets me a Nickelback record on the way to the new address. Could have done a sweet zing when you said, no, no, I prefer penny front. Oh, that's good. And then you guys crack a beer and just enjoy the day together. I think he would have looked at me and gone, what?

Yeah. Here's a news champ. Yeah, it feels like bringing that up, you're bringing it up because you're, it's like most people accept that, you know, you never meet anyone who loves Nickelback, even though they are incredibly popular. So it's like, why are you bringing that up? You're probably bringing it up because you're actually a big fan

and you're waiting to convince me. It's the little kid thing of saying something that they want to be asked back. Right. Like, you know, do you have a new jumper? No. Do you? Yeah. I can see it's got the tags on it.

I'm not even wearing a jumper. And look, I don't like them, but I don't care about it enough to sit and have a 20-minute conversation about it with this guy. It's a pretty old hat topic for 2021 to be like, yeah, man, fuck Nickelback. They suck. So would it have been a better answer to say, who's Nickelback?

Oh, yeah. Because then you get him talking about his favourite thing. Yes, I like that. And he gets to have a good time because he gets it. And you go at the end of it, that's fantastic.

I didn't know about that. Thank you. And I'll definitely get into them. Yeah, okay. What's a Nickelback? Yeah. Yeah. All right, I'm moving house again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Call up Amber the van. Try it again. Now you're going to have to pack those boxes again, you pov-o prick. Guys, I'm desperate for this radio job. If I ever move house again, I can't pack my own boxes.

That's the aspirational life that I need to lead. Can't get in a flotation tank after you do that. So in my apartment building, you guys have both been there before To my old apartment It's out the back of the apartment building We talked about it a lot on the podcast It's like the Kato Katelyn sort of deal

You live out the back of the rest of the apartments And you're this You know, a little bit of an odd area It's an odd I don't understand the reference Kato Katelyn was the pool boy of OJ Simpson And so he was like He came up in all the trials because he was

sort of there, but he was like this sort of drifter that was like, oh, you can clean the pool or whatever. You can live out the back next to the pool in this sort of little shack. A back shack? Yeah, the back shack. And so then he got dragged into court even though he was just

like a fuckhead. And so it's a serious thing and then Kato Kaelin gets called to the even though he was just, you know, like a fuckhead. And so it's a serious thing. And then Cato Kaelin gets called to the stand and he's like, Oh, dude, I don't know. I didn't hear any stabbing, dude. I was listening to Nickelback, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. People who've listened to this podcast for 10 years gone,

When the fuck are they going to talk about the OJ trial? I need to know what happened. Wow, they got 10 more years to wait on Chando's book. Wait 20 years? So yeah, my apartment out the back of the building, there's the main apartment block, then there's a car park. But the car park that's there is only for some of the building. There's only about six spaces in that car park.

It's pretty small. Did you have a car park? I did. Look at you. Very good stuff. So there's a laneway that leads car park. It's pretty small. Did you have a car park? I did. Look at you. Very good stuff. So there's a laneway that leads into that. The truck was pulled up

in the laneway as they were moving the stuff out of my apartment. So if anyone was coming out of that small car park, they were going to have to move. But it's a small enough car park that I was like,

you'll probably be fine. So right near the end, this lady comes out from the building. She needs to get out. Quick. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, they're just wrapping up. They're putting the last thing on the truck.

They'll just be like a couple of minutes. Just put my nickelback CD in and then we'll be off. So she comes out and she's like, oh, do you live out the back? And I'm like, yeah. And she goes, I've always wanted to know what it's like out there. And I'm like, well, I mean, you've got a couple of minutes while they finish up the van. Do you want to come have a look? Oh, here we go.

This is the start of a porno. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Put this on the top shelf of your house right now. I can't wait until Tommy gets called to the stand. Yeah. So she comes in to my apartment that's like basically empty by this point. Yeah, she does. And she's like, just the bed left.

Here we go. Did you come into her apartment? Sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Did you pack her box yourself? Yes, there we go. There we go. Put it in her back shack.

Yeah. Come on. Are you all right? Yeah. I might take a walk around the block for a few minutes while you guys...

Do a couple of abs. Hang on. Did you put a nickel up her. Do a couple of abs. Hang on. Did you put a nickel up her back? There we go. There we go. Yep, yep. So, yeah, so then she comes into the apartment and she's looking around. She's like, yeah, right.

It's pretty small in here, isn't it? Yeah, it's pretty. These are pretty small apartments. Mine went in the main building it? Yeah, it's pretty. These are pretty small apartments. Like, mine went in the main building. Like, yeah, it's bigger than this. And did you say, let's go check out? Let's go back to yours. Tit for tat.

Let's have a squeeze. Let's have a squeeze at your tit for tat. Or your tat since it's whatever. I'm going to have to really tread carefully. So, I've got my dick out. No. Do you have to tread carefully because your dick's out and it's such a thumper that it's hanging on the floor?

Because you don't walk on the tip? Yeah. He loses balance. Yeah, Chandler's forward. Just think it's a man with one giant arm. How does he play soccer? When are you going to show me your dick? No one has done more for the image of my penis than Tommy Little.

Really out there doing some good PR for me. I've played against a man with one arm. I've never played against a man with three legs like Tommy does. How did he kick that? When I first met Tommy, I thought he was in Tripod, and then I realised, I know. He is. He saw Tripod on the poster and went, went oh that's tommy oh there's a bear hey baby do you want to come back to mine and get a look at gatesy um so yeah then she she's just she's just basically rinsing my apartment just going

she's like what do you what do you pay here a week? I'm like, oh, this much? She's like, yeah, see. Why didn't you say the amount? I pay $20 more to be in the building and it's, yeah, it's much better than this. It's so much bigger. Like, I'd never live here. Like, I reckon I'd be really depressed if I lived here. Bro, she was just trying to get you up to her apartment.

She was negging you. Because I've spoken to her and everyone in the building and I said, if anyone can get a look at Tommy's dick, trace it. And I want that piece of billboard for you to trace it on. Yeah, and get your moving friends to fucking lift Tommy's dick off the ground and load it into the fucking apartment. Yeah, that's why he wanted a van.

in a barman. Yeah. That's why he wanted a van. So then, my upstairs neighbour, who I've talked about on the show before. The big old Cheech and or Chong upstairs.

Stomping around up there. Is this the hottie? Are we not allowed to say that? I don't know. Have we seen a hottie? Is there a hottie? I don't know. I'd say she was attractive.

Oh, is she? Okay, good. I can't believe out of all the stuff we've talked about that's the thing that made the needles skip off the record no no i paused because i was like fuck how did i miss the hottie isn't wasn't that she's gonna have to have some kind of physical or mental ailment for us to want to talk about no positive descriptions please sorry i'm sorry i mis the room. How dare you? I don't have an aptitude. We're only talking about disabled people on this podcast. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. Anyway, back to your story about yourself. So, yeah, the upstairs neighbour comes in. She comes past and sees all this happening. She didn't know I was moving. So she comes past, sees an empty apartment and goes, oh, wow. And then she's like, can I,

can I go onto your balcony for a second and just see what you've been able to see of my balcony? Whoa. Yeah. So she goes on

onto the balcony and then she's kind of like looking up under the, underneath, like trying to get a, I guess trying to work out if I've been able to like upskirt or something.

Are you upskirting from home? Yeah. Up-balcony. Yeah. Are you up-balcony? It's like, what do you think Iirting from home? Yeah. Up-balcony. Yeah. Are you up-balcony? It's like, what do you think I've been doing down here? Up-balcony. Up-balcony.

What does that mean? Also, what's she been doing on the balcony to warrant fucking being worried about? That's it. What do you mean? She's been down-balcony. Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah, so that's...

And what was her review? Was she like, oh, I can't believe you could see this? Or was she just like, oh, yeah, that's fine? She didn't really have any – yeah, she just – It's hard when you've made up the story, isn't it, to think of what reaction you want. She just did normal. She said, I don't know how to answer that question.

Yeah, there's a lot of me trapped in just very awkward interactions that I do. Like, actually pretty simple interactions that I just do not know how to get my way out of. This is your farewell to the building. This is my farewell to the building. Just having weird fucking talks with everyone in your shop. Having my neighbour come in and go, I'd kill myself if I had to live in an apartment like this.

And it's like, yeah, I'm moving. Like, I'm not moving in. So you're going to be missed. I'm not moving out and moving back in. But also, unless I'm romanticising I thought that apartment was sweet It's fine Yeah

It was good So then I'm like Really on the defensive about it I'm like Oh you'd be You know it looks different With furniture in here Like when you're just

In the empty room It looks bigger With furniture in Put a few Mick bodies in there And fucking boom So hang on So did you fuck

Both of these women Yeah Isn't that obvious With the one dick With that one huge dick of yours You go to that end You come to this end Yeah

Yeah But yeah That's my That's my man with a van experience Do you have anything like that Tommy When they were When they were boxing up I don't know

I didn't talk to them Gumball machine Tommy's people Take care of that Yeah exactly I didn't I just burnt the stuff at the last place bought some new shit here i went to dave and i went hey bro yeah a whole new house you're just

worried about the the big buck hunter that's it that's the that's the only thing that what they actually they hated moving that yeah i'll bet okay yeah and you know looking at it now that's bigger than i remember a buck hunter it's massive it's fucking huge it's the last one before they started that started to be a consideration right so they start now that they're like flat screens a Buck Hunter thing. Bro, it's massive. It's fucking huge. It's the last one before they started, that started to be a consideration. Right. So they start,

now that they're like flat screens and they're quite, they would be quite moving. Yeah, that's old school curved screen and that looks fucking heavy.

Big TV, yeah. You know what? I've seen that in different houses you've lived in. I thought I was doing you a favour. A Brett Blake friend

of the show was like, oh, I'd love to get a Buck Hunter and I'm like, oh, fucking Tommy Little's got one and I just assumed you a favour Brett Blake Friend of the show Was like Oh I'd love to get a buck hunter And I'm like Oh fucking Tommy Little's got one And I just assumed You'd be fucking over having that

And I said to you You know what about this And you're like They cost fucking 20 grand mate No they're not that much Well it's a heap though isn't it It's a lot yeah yeah I thought you'd be happy

For him to take it off your hands And you're like This is how much they cost I'm like fucking hell Yeah no And I love it Now you've got like A western type hat on it.

Do you have to wear that when you're playing? Oh, yeah, you do too. Where is it? I can't even see that. Like a Smokey the Bear-type hat. Oh, yeah, and a cookbook. That's what you do with the buck. You work out which way you're going to prepare it.

What are you putting in when you get the top score on it? What are your initials going in as? What's the leaderboard at the moment? Weapon. Don't be shy. How many letters are you allowed to have? Maybe we can guess it. How many the leaderboard at the moment? Weapon. Don't be shy. How many letters are you allowed to have? Maybe we can guess it.

How many letters are you allowed to have? It's really mature and see if you can work out. So it's three, three. So three letters, three numbers. No, no,

just three, three. Big, anything. Oh, so you can have two three-letter words. Anything? Three? Numbers Letters Anything Oh okay

Three So the idea is First name Last name Right Which doesn't happen Very often in life Big 069 or something

No that's I wish I thought of that That's pretty good More aggressive Oh well F-U-K That's good Y-O-U

C-N-T Yeah Is correct Ding ding ding For the first one F-U-K-Y-O-U. CNT is correct. Ding, ding, ding for the first one. F-K-N. No. Is it F-C-K? Mad. No, no.

CNT is the first one. F-C-E. F-C-E. What's that mean? Cuntface. Cuntface. Oh, nice. There we go.

Wow, this cuntface is... That removalist would have got it in. Could have scanned all the possible... He can look at the machine not plugged in and go, I reckon I know what the top score is on that. And I noticed, Tommy, these guys were obviously guessing quite hard at the thing. And when I ask the question, have a guess, were you just thinking to yourself,

I don't know what you want me to say? N-I-C-K-L-E... No, that's too many letters. I love the idea That someone accidentally Pulls out the cord Of your machine And you're like

I had Cuntface's top score What the fuck are you doing How am I going to beat The top score On my own machine Or it ends up In a lost and found And they're like

We'll know who the owner is Their name will be there Yeah No my guess Is it's just going to be Cum something Yeah that's good Cum bum

Or something like that That's pretty good You're just thinking Of your own name I am That's what my parents's going to be cum something. Yeah, that's good. Cum bum or something like that. That's pretty good. You're just thinking of your own name. I am, yeah. That's what my parents were going to call me. That's my name. You've seen my passport. Yeah.

Well, I went to the dentist this week. I had a thing where I had a slight little concern. I was like, fuck, I better go and get it checked out. And it went to, it's that thing where you go in there and you go, oh, look, it's like a checkup. And they go, oh, what are thing where you go in there and you go, oh, look, it's like a checkup. And they go, oh, what are you worried about? Is there anything we need to worry about?

Like a concern, like when you breathe in, you can feel air rushing over a nerve. Well, I was biting on stuff. Yeah, I was biting on stuff and chewing on stuff and going, oh, that doesn't feel right.

So I better check in. Because sometimes I do that. Eat. So I thought, I better check that out. Masticate. Yes, thank you. That's where I used to live,

in the masticatorium. Ah, yes. That's where I used to live, in the masticatorium. Ah, yes. A lot of chewing in there. Absolutely in the dark. Yummy down on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really lube my mouth up and get to it. Fuck me in the face.

Now we're cooking. There we go. There needs to be more letters on the big buck under so we can have that as a name. F-U-K-F-C-E. Reporting for duty. the big buck under so we can have that as a name. F-U-K-F-C-E

reporting for duty. So I went in there and went, right, so I made the mistake of in hindsight of saying specifically this thing.

You flagged it. Yeah, flagged it. So then they go looking for that and they go, right, we've checked it.

Seems like it's fine. I'm like, great, no need for me to be here anymore. Oh, we better just run three or four more tests.

I'm like, no, no, no, you've done one test. That's what a test is for. If it comes up negative, then this is fine. I look for more.

No, I keep looking. I love the man who's, so, sir, we found your one S.T.D. Do you want to? No, no, no other test. Your cock is falling off. We noticed you're missing one arm. We don't need to look any further. Do you want us to prescribe anything?

No, no, just good to know. Test my balance and let me go. Just make an appearance, show my face and right to go. Told the missus I did it, so here now, write me a note. So then they start wanting to do x-rays. Yeah, but you looked. It's all fine. I'm like, you know what's going on here.

It's like they're running the meter. It's like a cab. They're running the meter. X-rays, a little bit more than just running the meter it's like a cap yeah yeah you know they're running the meter i feel like x-rays a little bit more than just running the meter like yeah yeah yeah i feel like i'm stuck in traffic and all of a sudden it's like oh fucking hell it's not like you can look at the mirror and go oh no i'm i'm cool like yeah yeah you know what i can't hop out of the cab what kills me about the x-ray is they go well we can't find any problems but we've got a machine yeah yeah but maybe you can find more stuff why don't i keep we've got a machine Yeah yeah That maybe can find more stuff

Why don't I give the money To the machine Yeah yeah yeah Why don't I just start Seeing the machine one on one Why do I need fucking this person Sounds like someone wants To fuck an x-ray machine

You should get one Fuck Oh That's a very good move How fucking good Are you going to leave the room Nah I'm fine Yeah yeah yeah

Put your initials into it We've got an X-ray here. I clocked it. For a C&D. I'm on the final level. I'm playing the big boss. A foot. Can't believe you didn't say an arm.

How good would that be? If you go, you've got to try and guess what's up my arse. You play it. Well, you know because you put it there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm happy with that. If you go, you've got to try and guess what's up my arse. Oh. You play it. Well, you know because you put it there. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. People come around. It's your hand again.

That's why the guy lost his arm. We play the puppet game. Yeah. Look, his lips don't move. Why am I putting on a voice? I feel so... I'm Tommy Little. I feel so violated.

So I go through the whole procedure we do all the tests and whatever I'm like fucking hell alright okay so they couldn't find anything it's like great do you want another x-ray

I'm like no I don't want another x-ray oh should we leave that till next time yes we shall leave it till next time all that sort of stuff so my dentist is

I would say I'll preface I'll preface this next bit by saying, I don't believe that English is their first language. Okay. Oh, my God. Bro, what is this?

I'm just saying. What is this show? Here goes another one. I'm just saying. You go, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you've changed. And certainly not for the better. I don't think this makes as much sense. Is he still in the country now?

Did you get him deported? No, no, no. Him or her. You know, anyone can be a dentist these days. I apologise. I apologise. That's actually right. We haven't had a go at women yet.

It must be on your hit list in your phone. So we get the explanation. Now, the dentist starts, like, you know, cleaned everything up. I'm almost out of there. I'm almost out of there. Almost out of there. But they're looking up Google Translate. Yeah, yeah.

Is this why you said it's like a taxi? No, no, no, no. No. No. No, but that does work. But a little bit. But you get a curry on the way. No, no, no. They said you can't eat for half an hour afterwards. Okay, but that does work. But a little bit. But you get a curry on the way. No, no, no.

They said you can't eat for half an hour afterwards. Okay, damn. So, no. So I got to go out. And the dentist uses some terminology that I don't think I've ever heard, or I like to think no one's ever heard in a dentist's office, which is I've got everything out, I've done the clean, we've got the apparatus out of the mouth, all that sort of stuff, and they're giving me a bit of an update on

how things are going in my mouth. And the dentist described my teeth as poofy. Sorry? The dentist described my teeth as poofy. I mean, we've been saying that for years. Dave O'Neill's been saying that for years. What do you mean? And I don't know.

And they said it twice. Described my teeth as puffy. So even if you take an accident to that, like, puffy doesn't make sense either. Yes. Exactly. That's what I'm like. I'm like, well, I won't say anything. And if they say it twice.

Your teeth aren't puffy, by the way. And did you not say anything Because you had his dick In your mouth Yes Nah That is the good stuff That is a very That's what it's all about

So you didn't ask To seek clarification No I didn't want to say What do you mean by that Yes That's what you could have said Well I was stunned And also I had my phone

Out making a note of it Going fuck it I better bring this up next episode. This is like me with Nickelback. You don't want to give a wrong response to that.

Also, it's hard when you're in your 40s and you discover that you've got poofy teeth. Yes. Like, that's embarrassing. It's weird that my teeth came out without me knowing.

But yeah, I've got one wrong... The country boy in him just going like, I've got to bash my own teeth out now. Yeah, maybe remove some of my teeth

so I don't have to remove them myself. So you couldn't get an answer out of them. What have they been talking about in the lead up to that? Are there any clues there? I feel weird to say to someone, what do you mean my teeth are puffy? Well, you don't have to say the second half. You can just say, what do you mean? What do you mean by that?

What does that mean? Is that bad? Do I need to do anything about that? Do you mean, do I like Nickelback? Yeah. I've done that answer. Okay, well, I guess what we're learning, Tommy and I, is we need to ask more questions.

But look, the first time I felt stunned, I'm like, well, I don't know where to go next. I have a request, possibly. So you have Invisalign? Yes. Can you please... Or it could be any brand? No, they certainly didn't give me any discounts,

so it could be anyone. This is why we're having this meeting. Right. Can you please say, because I'm assuming you still have some more to go? Not long. Okay. Yeah.

Well, I would have thought more, but that's fine. Can you? But you'll have another bill to pay at some point, will you? I don't believe so. Oh, damn it. I really wanted you to look them dead in the eyes and say,

how many... I've got a podcast. Yep. I've got a few followers. Yep. How many posts would I have to do to get this? See, this is the thing. Because, as we've mentioned, Luke McGregor, who's your ex-housemate...

And lover. ...did get a free deal with his teeth liners if he begrudgingly then shouted it out on social media. It would have been the worst for them because then he got all in his own

head about not wanting to appear like he was doing an ad, even though he was doing an ad. Nobody cares, mate. But also, how are you supposed to casually put Invisalign into like

into content to make it look natural and he was like ad ad ad sorry everyone this is an ad

sorry don't listen to the ad and they were just like oh mate could you just make it you know a bit a bit more casual yeah yeah yeah just watch it and tell him it's teeth straightening

and I think if people I get it, you know, if people do ads with betting companies and stuff, people rightly get angry at people who they held in high regard or they know you've sold out. But I think if anyone... We do ads for Coles.

If anyone, yeah, I know, and we judge you. I think if anyone can do a teeth straightening ad, no one is going to begrudge McGregor for doing that no one's like oh you sell out yeah yeah yeah totally it's such a good

positive product like yeah no one's going look at this fucking seller doing an ad for the children's hospital what a cunt yeah yeah yeah and also

get it girl get those things I knew he had that deal and to be honest when I saw what they'd done for him I was like well they can fix mine If they can fucking fix his

So I was in there And doing the first consultation And I'm like Yeah They're like How are you going I'm like Yeah I know Luke McGregor

Like oh yeah What are your problems Yeah I've got a podcast Yeah it goes out to this many people Yeah and they're like Cool man Anyway this is how much it costs Yeah well they've been burnt

They're not gonna They're not gonna get You know They're not gonna get you know they're not gonna get a comedian to do an ad again after the last experience so yeah so are you meant to have

an appointment again where you can get to the bottom of these poofy teeth yes I literally did book one in the other day okay so maybe I can

we need to know I need to find out I need to know if my teeth are poofy yes yeah need to know if it's just a thing that my teeth are going through in university. Yeah, yeah.

Just a phase. If it's a real deal. Self-discovery. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Just, you know, it's normal just to like a teeth up the back of the molar.

You know. Yeah. Yeah. We'll keep us posted. Yeah. We need to, yeah, we need to let people know how to prevent poofy teeth.

Yes. If it is a mailing list and you are going to let people know individually, I don't need it. I'm happy with a bit of the story. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, we'd better wrap it up for another week on the Little Dumb Dumb

Club. Tommy, Little Adam Rosenbach, thank you very much for joining us. Thank you, gang. Hey, this might be a weird place to say this, and I don't even know if you can delete it. Have you talked about Lisa Storer here? That's a good point.

Yeah. It would be a nice thing to say something of. Well, huge comedy fan and absolute legend. Absolute original fan of this podcast.

Yeah. A day one-er. Was it the very first live podcast we ever did oh man uh we we messaged it was about a week ago now i got a message from brad her brother so so what's happened is lisa store is a original comedy fan of this show of many of us we knew her and she unfortunately passed away a week ago yeah out of out of nowhere yes and it's probably just i don't know if brad still listens or he's listening now but it's probably just a nice place to say yeah what a legend and absolutely very very very very supportive of us over the year

lovely person much loved much missed like i said i mean the first live podcast we ever did in the lead up to it i I was saying to everyone, come along. You know, we didn't know what to expect. I was saying, come along. Everyone, bring along signs that say Team Dassler or Team Chandler to show where your true colours are. She was the only person to do that. There was one person there

and she put hashtag Team Chandler. So I did win that contest 1-0 out of everyone that was there. But she was the one person to come along and play along with the gag. Mate, she was great. Yeah, very sad and yeah, but our thoughts are with her family and friends and everything.

Yeah, man, and having a little bub. And Brad, if you are listening, much love, mate. I hope you're doing alright. But yes, we've got to wrap it up here for another week. Guys, have you got things that you would like to plug? Tommy Little, you're on radio every day.

I am now a listener of your show on the radio every day because I am picking up my child from daycare sometimes. Got him. I now listen to Cody on the radio in the morning and you in the afternoon.

Three to six on the hit network around this great country of ours. I listen for a couple of minutes a day or however long it takes to go there and back. And I'm thoroughly confused by a bit where you just... All I hear, I never hear what the story is. All I hear is you making up things and then listeners ringing up. And you playing it straight.

And listeners ringing up and going, what the fuck is going on? And then I'm like, fuck, I've got to find out what happens. Oh no, I'm home now. And then I don't hear any context. So I get complaints daily, even when I'm on break at the moment. Because it's literally an example would be. So here's a segment. Right.

It's called, how long till they tell us we're wrong? Right. And we start the segment by going, all right, if you listen now, you're in on the joke. And we need you to defend us to the hilt. Okay. Right. So I've never heard that bit. And so I need you to call up and defend whatever we're saying right but people are going to tune in

halfway through this and they're not going to hear this bit they're the ones we're playing the joke on that's me you and so then and so then we'll go um anyway so we're talking about favorite memories from the uh 2001 olympics right right 13 10 60 If you want to join Stanley Kubrick Presents the Olympics And so people Ring in Furious And for weeks after

I still get messages like The Olympics were in 2000 fuckhead How do you not know that But people will ring in And they'll go The Olympics were in 2000

And we'll go I don't think they were Let's just go to our Next caller And he's like Mate I was there It was 2001 Like what he was

Doing there And we said the Opening ceremony Was in Perth And mate I was there it was 2001 like what are you talking about and we said the opening ceremony was in Perth and can I guess whether this was a Tommy or a

Carrie idea it came from the journalist yeah well all I've heard is the middle and I'm like what the fuck

is this I was listening to a thing where you were like what's your favourite moment of friends and it's like people ring up

going when Kramer walked through the door yeah we love that bit I'm like what's your favourite moment of friends and it's like people ring up going when Kramer walked through the door you guys were like yeah we love that bit I'm like what the fuck is going on with this show and I hear

because then we'll go back to the original the call who complained and they'll get like three people telling them they're wrong and it's so funny to hear them break

and they're like I guess Kramer was in there maybe Kramer yeah okay yeah Stinky Dog is the song yeah yeah

okay great now I know that now I know I've heard it too many times I'm like and I keep texting you get involved what the fuck is going on

and you don't answer so now I know good yeah so check that out have you got live shows coming up Tommy oh I do

hypothetically yes I've got Perth and the Central Coast still to go for this tour right and so yes check your local listings

Rosie what have you got why don't I plug my audio book so you can get Paris and Other Disappointments is available on Audible and probably wherever you get your audio books

I'm assuming and how long did it take you to read out the entire it was like five four or five days of about four or five hours. I was about to say brutal, but that's probably the dimension. No, no, the whole book is about five and a bit hours.

How many takes? So that's the thing. So you can't have a breath in the sentence. So you will read out, say, two sentences, and normally when you keep talking you'll be like, and then go like that. But you have to take the breath and then start the sentence again so you kind of read everything in two sentence blocks

and then I'd read something and be like I've got the intonation wrong on that I'm being aggressive when it's not aggressive or I'm being funny I forgot to hit play and record I fucking felt for the tech I felt for the tech who had to sit through all that shit did you read bits I fucking felt for the tech I'm reading the wrong book I felt for the tech who had to sit through all that shit oh bloke

did you read bits that in hindsight after reading them aloud you wished you'd written different yeah right

yeah there was a couple of bits where you're just like ah fuck you think there's something there that you're like I should have done this joke on that bit did you punch it up

did you put any improv in there no because it's got to match the book for whatever reason yeah what are you doing there in the recording studio? What do you do for a job? I remember O'Neill telling us once when he did the audiobook of his book,

you have to read out the spelling mistakes. If anything's made it through the proofing and has been printed as incorrect, you have to read it out incorrectly. Oh, no, I didn't have to do that, but you do notice... How do you read out a spelling mistake anyway? If you put a K instead of a C? It's more grammatical where they've left in a word like i'd change the tense of a sentence so it would have been like i we did do this to we had done this but i'd left both so it'd be like we did done this right and then as i'm reading i'm like fuck out of that and there

were so many of those that made it through i'm like what the fuck was the editor doing so i didn't read those out for betaim. Did you ever get angry at the author not realising it was you? This guy's a fucking moron. I hate this guy's dad. I'm only reading professional books. Hey, the book's great. I know I've said it to you in private,

but the book's great. Thanks. Appreciate it. Alright, check all that out. Guys, thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. And they've done it again.

Bernie. Straight off the instep. Straight off the... He's got new laces. Not even bothering to mention if he's kicked a big one. Just saying, Bernie. Well, it's implied. He's connected so sweetly with it. The tone with which you say Bernie.

Yeah. I didn't so sweetly with it. The tone with which you say Bernie. Yeah. I didn't even look at the ball. I just heard that sound. You can hear that point of impact and go, that's out of there. And you can tell by the look on Bernie's face. You can see his reaction. He knows what he's done.

He's done a bit of a Babe Ruth of football. Just pointed out of the stadium. Pointed his foot up into the air and you've gone, I reckon I know what's happening here. Bernie's done it again. But yes, nice to be in Little Towers for a week. An away game, as it were, for us. Treated it like a home game though, if we are Bernie.

I'm assuming we are Bernie in the metaphor. Have we ever actually talked about that? Have we ever worked that out? What that relates to? Are we Bernie in that situation? I kind of view it as more like he's the, you know, not so much the weatherman, but it's like he observes what we've done. And then based on what he kicks, that's what he thinks.

That's the quality of what he thinks the episode was. Is it like Groundhog Day and they pull Bernie out of the tree trunk and he just kicks a big one and you go, ah, six more weeks of great podcasting. That's it. And it is like Groundhog Day because it's like every week they've done it again. Yeah, right. It never falters.

I thought maybe it was possibly like Voltron. Me and your powers combine together to instead of voltron it's like the podcasting version of voltron bernie yes this giant podcasting robot called bernie i get into my car you get into your helicopter they both morph they link up together and they form bernie yeah is that i mean that's my recollection of what voltron the cartoon was like where they'd it's, whatever the problem would be, they'd be like, oh, fuck, how are we going to do this? Oh, no, it's getting worse.

Oh, what the fuck are we going to do? And then it's like, I know the thing we do every single week. Yes. Combine all of our powers, and that'll fuck all this shit right off. That's a good point. And happen every week. Yeah, it's that and Captain Planet and the Power Rangers

are the three off the top of my head that are all the same. Right. All the same theory. They've all got powers. Yeah. They can link up to create a superpower. Mm-hmm.

And they don't whip that out until minute 25. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just go straight to fucking, just get Captain Planet in there from the first minute. Right. What's he doing? Yeah. Just summon him. He doesn't give a fuck.

Yeah. What's the, I mean, is that supposed to be a metaphor for teamwork for kids, I guess? I don't know. Or is it a metaphor for on your own, you're a fucking loser. You can't get jack shit done. Well, if it's meant to be that metaphor, it's like, yeah, spend 24 minutes fucking around by yourself. Yeah.

See how far you get. Yeah. Give it a crack. Waste everyone's time trying to do it by yourself. But inevitably, you are going to have to use other people. Should I blame how I did in uni exams and stuff on Voltron and Captain Planet and stuff? Right.

It taught me to fuck around until the last minute and then pull out the Hail Mary, except I couldn't. And then you just cheat off five other friends. Or like when you're in uni and you have a group exercise and there's two people that just could not give a fuck. They're not coming

to any of the meetings and then invariably it just gets done by one person at the last minute anyway. Right. But that's not a combination of a combination

where five people are morphing their powers together. That's just one person in the group getting the shits and going, I'll just fucking do this. Right.

And then we'll have a group presentation to put together. Right. There's no Voltron in that metaphor. There's no Captain Planet. Yeah. Yeah.

There doesn't need to be an arm with a group presentation. Exactly. Yeah. There's just two stoners that just didn't even show up to present it. And then they just get a nice A because some nerd did all the fucking work for them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But I am currently reclining on a couch. First time I've done that for Talking Dum Dum, getting into the Talking Dum Dum spirit. This is a chat show where we talk about the events of the Little Dum Dum Podcast. Where the two hosts interview each other. Yes, and we are announcing our first ever live show. Oh, yeah. We're talking about Voltron and Power Rangers,

but we've got a big scoop here. Yeah, we've buried the lead. Buried the lead? Fucking what? What's the lead? Because burying the lead is L-E-D-E. What's a lead? Is it L-E-D-E? I always assumed it was L-E-A-D. I believe that's

not correct. Oh, okay. I'm looking it up right now. I assumed it was, yeah, you're burying the lead story. Yeah, I don't. In some other shit. I don't believe that's true. You're opening with the weather story in some other shit. I don't believe that's true. You're opening with the weather. It's like there's been another terrorist attack in New York, and today we're going to open the news with the forecast

for the next seven days in Melbourne. Well, you could do that if you were the New York media, and it's like, oh, there's been 7-11. But anyway, let's cut to the weather. Yeah, pretty dusty yeah a lot of fear out there today um that's it is that almost too smart for the for the funny fellas the bury the bury the lead news bulletin yeah whereas it's like they might they open with the fucking dog on a skateboard yeah and they work their way back to you know big celebrity death or... Yeah, maybe, maybe. Well, here's this, burying the lead.

A lead, L-E-D-E, is the introductory section in journalism and thus to bury the lead refers to hiding the most important and relevant pieces of a story within other distracting information. Yeah, in journalism, the lead refers, yeah, to the introductory bit that's intended to entice the reader to read the full story. Why have they invented their own word there? Like their own spelling of the word? Because bearing the lead, the lead story, that makes the exact same level of sense.

These fucking journalists, they've gone, nah, we've got to have our own word. Well, that's it. They deal with, they're so sick of like, you know, dealing with words every day. It's like, we're the only, we're the guys that keep words alive. Let's, why don't we have our own ones? And just, just made their own up. I reckon it's like someone on the autocue just didn't know how to spell and they've spelled it L-E-D-E and then that's kind of gone around and it's like, that's the, that's

the official spelling now. Yeah. Yeah. I meant that. Yeah. I'm not bad at my, I like, that's the official spelling now. Yeah, I meant that. Yeah. I'm not bad at my, I'm not bad at the autocue job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you're right.

As of time of recording, hopefully, if this is the way you're finding out about it, hopefully there are tickets left. But Brisbane, we have sold out our live podcast slash stand-up show on August the 7th, Saturday afternoon at Lefty's. Yep. At 2.30pm. So what happens now is if you got your tickets to the live talking dum-dum, that's at 5.30pm. What happens is we go from Lefty's to Good Chat Comedy Club, which I believe is directly over the road. You come out the front door, you dodge traffic Frogger style.

You play your little own real-life version of Frogger. You hop on some logs, you jump on some crocodiles' heads. You drink. And then you're out there at good chat. Well, it's probably a little bit like that, even with no cars on the road, because you've just been drinking at Lefty's for three hours. So you're coming out and going, whoa. Yep. I'm dodging the line in the middle of the road.

What do you think of Frogger? As a game? Yeah. Oh, look, good memories. Yeah. Yeah. Fond memories. Holds up, I've got to say. Really? Have you played it? They haven't cancelled it in 2021. Yeah, look, good memories. Yeah. Yeah. Fond memories. Holds up, I've got to say.

Really? Have you played it? They haven't cancelled it in 2021. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's timeless design. It's pretty classic, you know. It's just kind of infinite. Gets harder and harder.

Simple to play. Yeah. Hard to get very good at. Yeah. Yeah, it's okay. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Look, this is your thing, video games.

Not for me. Yeah. Not for me. Yeah. I can't know. Look, this is your thing, video games. Not for me. Yeah. Not for me. Yeah. I can't. If there was a Frogger machine in front of you right now set to free play, you don't think you'd get on and have a good time? I reckon I'd last like a minute.

Yeah. I'd be, you know, I've talked about this on the show before, but Championship Manager, my one weakness with video games. Yep. It's I haven't touched it for a while. I haven't touched it for months. Just because I need to, like, I get it. I get the addictive nature of it, of video games.

So I've weaned myself off it and I just haven't gone near it for ages. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm off it. I'm completely cold turkey. Didn't you also, you went to go back in and it, like, deleted your save or something like that? Or your past progress was gone? I was about 30 seasons in and it got rid of it.

That's the real headline here. You buried the lead in this one. No. Because that is the biggest motivator to give up a game. Your whole save's gone and you're like, I actually fucking hate this game anyway. No, no, no. But that's not the case because then I was like,

oh, this is fucked. I'll just start a new one 15 seasons in. Yeah, right. So it is sitting there about 15 seasons in. Right. Yeah. But talking dumb-dumb, get along to that. Yeah, look, come and we might have a guest or two on it as well.

Yep. And it's only $15. So it's basically a design. So if you want to kick on after the live podcast, because it finishes so early, finishes at 5 o'clock, we'll be having a beer over the road and doing another little additional little show. much like actual kick-ons when you've been out at night or you've been at a party or whatever where you just it's 4 a.m nothing of value is being uttered yeah you can do that you can sit across the road and listen to us read names yes yes bring that forward pretty um

but yeah debut live show pretty pretty nervous to be up there in front of a crowd, to be honest. We've never done that before. Yeah. I mean, the other boys in Little Dum Dum Club, obviously, well-versed in these live shows. But in terms of us on Talking Dum Dum. Yeah, exactly. Well, they'll have done their show across the street.

So we'll be at Good Chat ready to go. We'll have been listening in. We'll have the gig piped in and we'll be commenting on what they've just done over there on the stage. And hopefully they don't go too long so that the beginning of our live show is delayed. Is there a way that if they go long, should we start anyway? Should we start without? Well, maybe we could send out our sacrificial lamb.

Is that the term? Yes. We could send out. I can't tell you how they spell that. That might be L-E-B-M. Yeah. We could send out Talking Gibbo. We could send out the Talking Gibbo boys to just kind of be our opening act and kill some time before they're done. Should we crack open Talking Gibbo this week?

It's a very small update. Talking Gibbo, of course, the show within the show within the show, that's about updates on our fascination for Belle Gibson, renowned cancer defeater. Famous cancer grifter, Belle Gibson. Yes. Love it. So she has been, I mean, she lives in Melbourne.

So this is the thing. We've had updates from listeners and stuff like that. I'd love to know where she lives. You know, look, the goal is I'd love to know, I'd love to get her on the show. Some guy messaged us saying he lives next door to her. No. Yeah. What?

On Twitter. Some guy DM'd us on Twitter saying she's his neighbour or she's his mate's neighbour or something. Oh, fuck. All right. Well, I'm opening Twitter. You must have. So that's a big So that's an update

Alright So Because I was going to say I mean this guy notwithstanding Because this is just A random messaging us It would be fascinating To try and work out

How many degrees Of separation there are Between us and Bill Gibson Right Yes Well I mean we've got We've got that friend Of my girlfriend

Who's friends with One of the influencers Who outed her So that's like I think that's friends with one of the influencers who added her. So that's like, I think that's like four links. There we go. Could we get closer? Right. You found it?

Yep. They've said, hey, listen to Talking Gibbo. My friend lives next door to her. Okay. Yeah. All right. I'm asking. You're asking for the, don't ask what Belle's address is.

Ask what's your friend's address. And then we'll go and knock on the doors either side. What suburb? Yeah, okay. All right. Yeah. So we also got messaged a fair few times in the last couple of weeks about... There's like a doco on BBC3 about it.

Have you watched that before? Haven't been able to. But look, I've read the book, so I think it's all covered by that. But what I was going to say is beyond that, she's been spotted by, who do you reckon

spotted her online? What, a listener of this? No, no. Or someone we know? Media. Oh, media. News media.

Oh, Nui Takoa. No. She's headlining the big day out next year. No, no, no. No, yeah, she's headlining the canceroa. No. She's headlining the big day out next year. No, no, no. No, yeah, she's headlining the cancer tent. No, the Daily Mail have tracked it down. Okay, yeah, of course.

They've tracked it down. Either that or someone else has tracked it down and they've just stolen it. Yes. Which is what they usually do. She's spoken on a podcast and they've reported it as news. Disgraced wellness blogger's been caught by disgraced news media outlet, the Daily Mail. Yep, yep.

Now that's Voltron. Yeah. Disgraced Voltron. Yeah. So, yeah, she's been spotted dropping off her kids. I do love the reporting that they do a bit of, you know, dropping off her kids despite the fact she has to pay $500,000 in fines. It's like, I guess you shouldn't drop off your kids until that's done.

Yeah, yeah. The idea what the petrol to school is eating into that fund that she's got to pay back. Let me say this. I think she should get back on the fake cancer because it was, you know, it was keeping her looking all right. Oh, no. At the moment, she needs to, she might need to, yeah, have a fake relapse, I reckon. Get herself back in shape. Is this Perez Hilton commenting on Bill Gibson?

Honey, get back on the fake canter. Hey, I wouldn't do it with a good person. Yeah, true. It's hard to imagine anyone getting too defensive of this. Yeah, so anyway, look. She might be due a bit of fake chemo, I reckon. Yeah. So anyway, look, she might be due a bit of fake chemo, I reckon. Yeah.

I reckon. Get the kegs down, I reckon, Belle. But anyway, that's up to you. What do you reckon she's put on since you last saw

pictures of her? Oh, wow. There'd be, I reckon, it'd be easy five to ten. Okay. Surely.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm just saying, I'm saying this as an alert to you to keep fit because you've got the cookbook of hers. Surely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm just saying, I'm saying this as an alert to you to keep fit because you've got the cookbook of hers. Yes. I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, look, maybe she hasn't been cooking from that cookbook. Well, it must be all that African food. It must be pretty fatty. Right, right. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's loading up on that spongy bread and the curries and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A lot of, yeah, okay. All right. So what you're saying is you're blaming the Africans on this. For this one? Yeah. For only this one. Right. I'm blaming the Africans.

Right, okay. Based on the evidence available to me, specifically the Africans that are cooking the food that she eats. Right. I think, and look, also, I can't see these photos. You think she's going to church to eat? Yeah. The church is now a buffet. Communion. Right. I think. And look, also, I can't see these photos. You think she's going to church to eat? Yeah. The church is now a buffet.

Communion. Right. The African church communion is just a full curry that you have to get stuck into. It's a bit of buffalo. Yes, yes. I also, I can't see these photos that you're looking at on the Daily Mail. Wow. No, it's pretty good over here.

Yeah. You've deliberately, you're looking at on the Daily Mail. Wow. Yeah. No, it's pretty good over here. Yeah. You've deliberately, you're deliberately withholding from it. Well, I don't want you to look at it and then go, nah, she looks good. I'd still fuck her. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Okay.

So I think I'm going to try and watch the doco. Quite a few people have sent it to us now. Is this a recent thing? It's a BBC3. It's a brand new thing. Oh, it's brand new, right? I couldn't tell if it was something that people were sending us from five years ago or something. No, no, no.

So let's talk in Gibbo. Other updates. So update on what we've been talking about the last couple of weeks and during this episode as well. The big comeback from Kay Chandler. Hall of Famer. Team of the Century era, Downsford Soccer Club. What's happened is since we spoke on the main episode, I've got the call,

got the call up. Not only have I got the call up. The red phone started ringing. Yes. The comeback phone, the comeback line started going off. Not only did I get hit up because I was sort of aiming for like in two weeks time or whatever they hit me up on the saturday night just after we recorded this we recorded yes saturday

afternoon at little's house yes yep little brought out the beers i started having some of them then i get the message yeah actually we're short tomorrow do you want to come up and play oh i was like absolutely not wow i need some more training and wow i was having beers at night so i was like no no I can't do it. Okay. I've got to give myself time. Yep. And I've got to give myself, I've got to give the heads up to the show.

Yep. As well. So that's it. So they locked me in for the week after. So we're recording this on Tuesday. Yes. This is out on Wednesday. So this weekend.

We're recording this on July 6th. So the match is July 11. Sunday. This weekend. Yes, this weekend. If you're listening to it hot off the races. One o'clock kickoff, Dalesford Soccer Club. Home game. Home advantage. Which isn't that much of a great advantage because the pitch is not

great. And the pitch they were playing on last week would have been fucking awesome. North United, that's who we're playing. I don't know if the one-armed man is still there. week would have been fucking awesome. But anyway, North United, that's who we're playing. Yep. I don't know if the one-armed man is still there, is still playing. I don't know if he... He might be making his 20-year comeback as well.

Who knows? Yep. Or he might be out there still, you know, killing fucking Richard Thimble's wife or whatever the fuck that cuss name was. I've got a good nickname for you if you see him. Fugitive? Pokey. The one-armed bandit.

Oh, there we go. Hey, Pokey. Right. Not bad. Not bad. I push him and try and tilt him, get him to pay out or something. Here she is, the queen of the Nile. All right.

All right. Well, good. Good. Because you need a bit of trash talk on the field. Exactly. So I'm prepared just in case a man from 20 years ago is still playing. Yep. So in case he's not only disadvantaged in terms of having one arm,

but now he's 20 years on. Yes. So he's probably, I think he was well older than me when we played. So he's probably a 50-year-old one-arm man. I did have to assume he sorted out the balance issues in that time. Well, can you ever really do that? A lot of time to practice. I don't know.

Like, just because you've got 20 years up your sleeve, not sleeves, but sleeve. Yep. I don't know. What if that's the arm that he lost was the sleeve that he kept things up? Now he's got nowhere to stash. Well, you know what?

You know what? In the last two weeks, I've seen two different people, and I've never noticed this happen before. I don't know if it's a trend with one-armed people. I've seen two one-armed people In the last two weeks, I've seen two different people, and I've never noticed this happen before. I don't know if it's a trend with one-armed people. I've seen two one-armed people in the last two weeks going around with just the loose sleeve, flapping around. Oh, yeah.

Usually they do a bit of tying it back and whatever. Just walking around with that, going where I'm having to go, wow, that's a floppy arm. No, actually, wow, that's a one-armed person who's just letting it all hang out. Could be that they've just bought the top at Uniqlo or something. It really spoke to them and they haven't had the chance to get it modded yet.

Freshie. I guess would you do that? Yeah, you'd have to just... What would you do with one arm? What would I do with one arm? With clothing. That'd be good if you did that with one leg. Would you do that with one leg?

Just keep the flapping, you know, other... I was going to call it leg sleeve. Half of the pants just flapping around. No, well, I've got to get a prosthetic. You're not seeing me walking around with one leg. Do you? Hopping everywhere. What do you do with crutches?

You'd have crutches. You'd have crutches. I mean, maybe if it's like a – when it's very, very recent. Right. But I would imagine the prosthetic leg is more common than the prosthetic arm. Yes. But for me personally, if I lost an arm, I think I would get my – I just would get – I'd find a good tailor and I'd say,

you're going to be doing a lot of work with me. Here's my entire wardrobe. I need you to take all the arms off and just close them over. Right. So. So you wouldn't give people the fantasy, like if you were on a date, you wouldn't just have the flapping arm there. So for at least half.

I was on a date? Yeah. What? If you were like, you know, if you were single again. If this all goes south. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you lose your arm. That's how I lose the arm.

Yeah. My current girlfriend chops it off and I'm like, I'm out. This is a deal breaker for me. Or either that or the other way around. You lose your arm and your girlfriend goes, come on. I didn't start going out with you. I didn't start going out with one arm, man. This is, you're reneging on the deal.

Yep. I'm in for all limbs or I'm out. That left arm was my favorite thing about you. Yeah. In fact, it was the only good thing about you. Well, you know, that was the arm that, you know, that did the magic. Yep. Yep.

You don't need to say it. Without it. Without it. You know, I did all the magic everywhere. Like, it's your good arm. Yeah. All of a sudden, you can't even use it on yourself. Yeah.

You're going, love, come over here. You've got to, you know, this, I'm on my wrong arm here. Yeah. I can't do anything. I can't figure it out. I'm going to rehab and they're teaching me how to, like, come over here. You've got to, you know, this, I'm on my wrong arm here. I can't do anything. I can't figure it out. I'm going to rehab and they're teaching me how to like pick things up. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you teach me how to finger with this hand, please?

Is there like a dummy that I can practice on? Yes, yes. Girlfriend goes, I'm out of here. This is no good. So you're having to start again. All right. So then your question is, I'm on a date. Am I just going in with a loose sleeve? You're going with a flappy sleeve.

Or as opposed to what? I'm getting it sealed up. You seal it up like you're some sort of veteran. Yeah. You know, all pegged up right at the top of the shoulder. Yeah, no, I'm going the full seal. Right. Okay.

I'm going in with the full seal. You're going in with medals hanging off your lapel as well? Yeah. No, I'm stealing valor while I'm doing this as well. Yeah. And you're trying to, and you're making up a war that you didn't end? Opening with the fact that I was a 9-11 first responder. Right.

A building, the other building fell on your arm. Yeah, that's how I lost it. Right. I got trapped. My arm got trapped under building, under the second tower. Yeah, right. Okay. Okay, that's good.

And you won a medal for that somehow. Yeah, no, I don't think I'd want the flappy sleeve. I think it would annoy me too much. But, you know, I think that'd be a fun little project. You know, you take the clothes into a tailor and you just get them sealed up. You know, it wouldn't feel as much like you're, you know, you wouldn't feel like, you know, you're missing something as much, I think. I like to think, because I saw two people doing this

and I've really never seen it happen before. I'm just wondering maybe if they had tank tops, it gets hot in the summer. They just invent a new sleeve on their tank top just to have that flapping around. Well, you don't even need one hole of the tank top. You can just have that side sealed over. Oh, yeah. Not as good for ventilation. No.

But. Yeah. That's interesting. Any one-armed people out there, let us know what it's like. Right. Oh, yeah. Not as good for ventilation. No. But. Yeah. That's interesting. Any one-armed people out there, let us know what it's like. Yeah. What sort of life are you living? Like, clothes-wise. What sort of decisions do you have to make?

Oh, man. And any, like, amputation-style thing freaks the living hell out of me. Right. It's up there as, like, top fears. What? In terms of the concept of it or you seeing people with amputated limbs oh yeah just having to see it oh really no no no like you know being in a fucking car accident or whatever and you survive but it's like the legs gotta come

off that's that style of thing okay i've said this on the show before but i saw it this morning dead animals on the street oh yeah yeah freaks me out yeah dead dead animals i just accidentally see something especially go, oh. Especially like, fuck, I can't remember where I was. I've blocked it out. But it was like in the city. It was just me going about my day. And I saw like a dead possum in the city.

When you're out, if you're like driving into the country, you sort of accept that that's part of the deal. You're driving along the highway. You're going to see some roadkill. I think you're a bit more mentally braced for it. Yes. But just seeing this dead possum in the gutter in the CBD, it was like, oh, this isn't part of the deal. Someone should have come and fucking gotten rid of this.

If you'd seen a dead accountant, fine. You're ready for that stuff in the gutter. But not a possum. No. You've made it all the way to the big city and just couldn't survive. Yeah, it's true. Like me when I was 17, you know. Dead in a gutter.

Yeah. Yeah. First day out of Maribor, no, he couldn't make it. Yeah. Well, yeah, I'm going to try and watch that doco. I hope I can watch it easily enough. My VPN just expired. Yes, and to confirm, soccer re-debut.

Oh, yes, of course. So I've been told. This weekend. I'll be on the bench, I think, in the reserves. Yep. Early kickoff, 1pm kickoff at Dalesford Soccer Ground, whatever it is. So you need to get in there and you need to manufacture a way of getting yourself actually on the field.

Go down there with some laxatives and slip them into the drinks of some of the people on the team. No, I'm fine coming off the bench. Okay. I'm fine. on the field go down there with some laxatives and uh you know slip them into the drinks i'm fine coming off the bench i'm i'm fine i've just i've just done a training session then and i'm you know i'm not i'm not i'm not i didn't walk out of it going get me in coach okay all right fucking i should be starting this thing yeah yeah um so yeah it's gonna be i'm running around with the ball every day i'm i'll be getting closer But at this point, as I'm recording, Tuesday morning, I wouldn't be saying put money on me being red hot on Sunday.

Okay, and Sportsbet do have this one. Yes. You can bet on the hottest 100. And now you can bet on Tandem. Open mic soccer. For a podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying.

I'm trying to hook in some friends to practice with me later in the week. Yep. Give me a bit of some form of match practice. But yeah, we'll see. We'll see how this is going to go. All right. Exciting stuff. Well, I guess we've got to get into the most important.

That's all well and good, this soccer match. But what people are really here to hear. That's kind of sort of encroaching on the territory of the little dum-dum club there. Sorry to those boys. I guess in hindsight what I'm thinking of, you know, of encroaching on the territory of the little dum-dum club there. Sorry to those boys for stealing their content. I guess in hindsight, what I'm thinking of, you know, I remember being very confident back in the day playing, but 20 years later, you know, now I'm sort of sitting there thinking, well, a lot's changed.

I might be playing against people with two arms. Yes. So all of a sudden it's a little bit, you know, things have, a lot of, you know, things really progress in 20 years. Yeah. You start playing people with all of their facilities. Yep. Faculties. It's 2021. Yeah. Two armed people people with all of their facilities, faculties.

It's 2021. Two-armed people can play now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yes, we have to get into this. You can support the show on Patreon, patreon.com slash little dum-dum club, and you can get yourself a bonus episode, two bonus episodes, I should say, every week with special guests, and they've been a lot of fun. So get on and check that out. And most importantly, if you head to patreon.com

slash little dum-dum club and put in some money, you go into the draw to have your name read out on Talking Dum-Dum via the unplanned title alternator, which spits out a different number of names every week. That's it.

Completely at random to keep things fair in here. That's it. It has made the move over here. You told me before the show the Bell Gibson cookbook has not made the move yet. No. You've got a million fair in here. That's it. It has made the move over here. You told me before the show the Bell Gibson cookbook has not made the move yet. No.

You've got a million comic books here, but somehow that's all more important than the cure to cancer. Exactly. Which is, you're coming off as pretty cocky at the moment. Yep. The cancer's gone away forever and you don't need... Well, it's double jeopardy rules. Right.

You can't go away for the same crime twice. Right. Okay. That would be great. You get it again and you just say to the doctor, there must be some mistake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check my records.

I think you'll find I've had it when I was 10 years old. Yeah. I couldn't possibly... It's double jeopardy. Then he's like, no, this is the jeopardy. What is a dumb cunt that thinks they can't get cancer again? What is Tommy Dasol? Oh, no, I've been holding my mobile phone against my balls.

I've had the microwave door open. You've been bumming a microwave. Yep. But what you have moved over here is the unplanned title, which is very handy. But I would like to see what's left in the Masturbatorium 1.0, if that's still there. What else is still left there?

Yeah, so there's like maybe three boxes of books and stuff. There's my drum kit and my microwave. And that's it. Right. So I've got to go over and do a last little trip. So that cancels – the Bell Gibson cookbook is over there, but the microwave's not here either, meaning you can't get cancelled from that.

Yes. So you don't need the... If they're both in the same house, they kind of negate each other. Yeah, right. Okay, that's smart. Yeah. I'm just trying to look out for the next person

to live in that apartment. Right, right, right. Okay, well, let's kick this thing off. Let's read out some names. Thank you to everyone who contributes to patreon.com slash little dum-dum club. Keeps the lights on in here. Keeps the microwave at Tommy's second house. Yep.

What if I just never gave notice? Yeah. Just hang on to it. Yeah, that's my holiday house. Yep. Two kilometres away. It's got a pool. Yep.

It's not the dumbest idea in the world. It's not the worst idea in the world. Yeah. My summer house. You know, you can move in there when Comedy Festival's on because it is a little bit closer to the city. Well, friend of the show, Marty Sheargold, his actual house is a bit out of the city

and he's doing Triple M radio now. Yes. And he's rented an apartment in the CBD to be closer to that radio job. Yeah. So I just do the same thing for the podcast. Yes. It's rented A department In the CBD Yes To be closer To that radio job Yeah So I just do The same thing For the podcast

Yes It's closer to Carl's house Yeah I can go swimming After we record Yes Makes a lot of sense

To just be paying Two lots of rent Yeah Two kilometres Closer to the city Where we do Live podcasts Yeah

Probably about Seven times a year Yeah Yeah Yeah I think it is It's not far off Being just basically The same distance From the city as my current house.

Yeah, yeah. You're probably right, actually. All right, let's crack on. Thank you very much to everyone who subscribes, particularly this week, to these people that have never had their names read out, probably. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Luke Edwards. What's your initial vibe off this guy? Two first names? Yeah.

Never great? Well... Is it? How many people have you ever met with the first name Edwards? Edwards Scissorhands. That is a good first name, actually. Refreshing first names by making them plural is quite good. Well, you know, if you had multiple of them, so like in the way that you say, like, attorneys general.

Yes. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, can you, like, for people that identify as them, can you now go the next level and just make multiple of your own first name? Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. Can you do that?

I think that would be cool. Yeah. So what you're saying, you decide that, or you, yeah, you realize that you've been non-binary for your whole life and you don't want to have the he, him pronoun. So then it's like your name is Carl's. No. It's they slash Carl's. I think there's too much thought put into that.

I think it's more someone hearing about people identifying as them and just not understanding it completely. Not quite getting it. And then going, oh, so we can just be plural now. Okay. All right. Well, I want to be very 2021. I'll be. I'm Tommy's.

My name's Edwards. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I identify as them.

Yeah. I identify as multiple people with the same name. It's funny to imagine because, yeah, there's plenty of boomers out there who don't get the non-binary and the pronoun thing. I'm like, I don't fucking understand this. But then the next step being, but I want to get in on it. So it's like I've got no idea how it works, but not even in a negative way. I'm going along with it.

In fact, I'm one of them, whatever that is. Yes, exactly. That I'm not bothering to educate myself on, but I'm right in there. One of these people that, you know, is trying the dance moves for their grandkids or whatever. Yeah. You know, oh, I can do the, I can't even remember the name. A dab. The dab.

Yeah. Doing the dab now. One of these ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doing a dab and now I'm identifying as them. Just so the grandkids think I'm cool. The idea that they're linked. Oh, no, I dabbed and now I'm non-binary.

Yeah, that would be great. Just some old person on Instagram in their bio. It's like, you know, he slash what. Just not. I want to be referred to as a what. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm confused about what gender I am and I want everyone else to be as a what. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want, I'm confused about what gender I am and I want everyone else to be confused about what gender I am.

And I want them to vocalise that confusion. Yes. So it's not they, them, it's what. Yeah. What slash who. Yes. What slash the fuck. Edwards.

What am I? Yeah. Great question. Your guess is as good as mine. Edwards. Edwards. What am I? Yeah. Great question. Your guess is as good as mine. Edwards. Edwards. Yeah, multiple Edward. I hope Luke is actually non-binary.

That would be a beautiful bit of a... I hope he's accidentally spelled his name wrong. His name's actually Luke's Edwards. Yes, Luke's Edward. Luke's Edwards. Luke apostrophe S is Edwards. Oh, yeah. Well, what if you did that

so you you're them you identify as a as a multiple and then you fuck it up even badly even worse by having like a

apostrophe in there that doesn't need to be there right you know all those people where they just whack it in there just in case it's like no no you don't need it

when it's just a multiple of a noun yes yes yes so I'm identifying so my name's Edwards and then you've got the apost in there. It's like, you couldn't have fucked this harder. That would be great. That would be a great way of pranking your kid.

On the birth certificate, you put the apostrophe in there. Yeah. It's just in the wrong spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So for the rest of their life, they're having it. But people do have that. Actually. People do have that.

There might even be a listener out there that's had their name misspelt on their birth certificate. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's people out there that have some real... People that... Dads that are too dumb to pull out or spell a name. Yes. Yes. Exactly.

They go hand in hand. Yeah. Well, thanks, Luke's. Thanks, Luke's. Edward Z's. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Laura Potts. Ah, the Potts and Pans. Yeah. Ah, the Potts and Pans. Yeah.

Laura on the Potts and Pans. Mm-hmm. Very, what do you get? What sort of imagery do you get with a name like Laura Potts? Well, I've met Laura Potts. Oh, do you know Laura Potts? Oh, okay. Oh, well, don't spoil it for me.

Yeah. Because my initial thought is someone shorter, maybe with a bob haircut. That's what Laura Potts says. Yeah. Yeah, you're not too far off. Really? Yeah. Do you know Laura Potts?

I've met her. She came up to me when I was at a gig, it was before the gig and I was eating dinner by myself. And she came over and started bullying me about wearing an Apple Watch. Oh, right. And she's like, oh, you're trying to look cool. I'm like, I'm just trying to read the time, honestly. And then that interaction kind of went around in circles for a bit. And then I think she was having a crack at me for eating by myself.

And I was like, yeah, it's before the gig. I've just come here early to get some dinner. Okay. Before the gig. And then she was going in to see, this was at a venue that had like comedy in one room and then a band in another room. Right. So she's like, oh, I'm a listener of the pod.

And I'm like, oh, were you here to see the comedy? She's like, no, I'm here to see the Smith Street band who are in the next room right it's like okay cool right yeah right and then she's stuck in my head because now every time she she comes to live shows she'll make a point of coming up to me and going yeah how's your fucking cool apple watch going so now you can see why she's sheared in my memory. Right, right. So she's your high school bully these days. A short girl with a bob and a bad fucking attitude. Right.

You got two out of three. Right, okay. Well, next time I'll look after you. You tell me when she's at a live show and I'll cut her off at the pass. Yeah, I don't know if I'd say short. I guess she'd be average height, I suppose. pass. Yeah, I don't know if I'd say short. I guess she'd be average height, I suppose. Okay. Yeah. And bob

haircut? I've got this all wrong. Maybe. That's what that name says to me. Yeah. I mean, that's... I can afford to have this fanciful idea of what it sounds like, whereas you're traumatised. I can't remember. Yeah, i can't remember if i'm actually remembering seeing a bob haircut or if the

strength of the name right is is doing so much to implant that it's hard for you to think because you your chest got all tightened and you're starting you're sweating sweating yeah yeah it's taking me back there i'm currently in the fetal position Rocking back and forth Yes But I'll tell you what's not on my wrist What? Oh! She's done it

It's worked Really? No It's just fucking always out of battery Because it's an Apple product That I've had for like five years now So it's really handy for a watch To get about two hours of charge out of it

It's really good for going about your day Really, really handy stuff. Right, okay. That's good. I've had to turn off basically all the functionality of it to even get that much battery out of it. Right, okay. That's a good ad.

Yeah. For your own Apple Watch. Well, it's a good ad for fucking buying every new one that comes out so that you can, you know. Use it. If you want to be in the Apple ecosystem, you've got to be prepared to be. You've got to be watching those press conferences with an eagle eye.

Because you know you're going to have to buy all that stuff. Because the stuff that you have is about to be completely fucked by a new software update. You've got to get ready to say how high. Yes. Yes. Yes, please. Yes. Please can I have this new iPad?

Yeah. No, don't update the iOS on my old one. Now it's not running properly. Did you see that they did? We talked about Apple months ago and they actually did what we predicted. I reckon so long ago. I reckon that chat might have been pre-pandemic. The old coloured back, like the original kind of, like we had at school. I think anyone of my age, if you had a school computer, the, coloured back. Yes. Like, the original kind of... Like, we had at school.

Like, I think anyone of my age, if you had a school computer... The coloured... What we're talking about is the coloured iMac. iMacs. The big round back one. Yeah. And, yeah, they brought them back. Yeah. Pretty recently.

The first computer I ever bought myself. What colour? You would have gone with blue, I reckon. Pretty standard stuff. Play it safe. Did I have blue? I think I might have. You're not getting out there with an orange back. I reckon. Pretty standard stuff. Play it safe. Did I have blue? I think I might have. You're not getting out there with an orange back.

I didn't get the orange. What could you get? I think blue was kind of the standard one. Blue, purple, orange. Yeah, I'm trying to think. I feel like this is the exact conversation we had when we were talking about it. I think I got blue because the other thing was I bought it in Ballarat from some small store where they didn't have the whole range. They're not lashing out.

They didn't have the whole range. But blue's good. Blue's pretty tasteful. You know, kind of blends in. Purple was a bit strong. I was trying to think. Purple, orange. They're two like, you've got to really be someone who's like, I love that color and everything else on my desk is that color.

And it was like, it was portable. Yeah, it had the big handle on it. But you didn't really want to make it portable. No. Like, it was fucking pretty heavy. Yeah. Like, where are you bringing it? Well, it's nice to have the option, I think, was their thinking.

Because it was all in, it was just that and then the keyboard and mouse. Yes. Right? Yes. So it wasn't like a screen and a unit. So I guess they're thinking like, well, you know, if people want to, it is pretty easy to. Yes. You're not having to chuck, you know, four separate things in the car.

It was amazing. It was amazing to have. But they're back. They're back, baby. Yeah. Proof that someone in it, proof that Tim Cook listens to this every week. Yes. And look, proof that Steve Jobs maybe should have listened to this every week

and got a copy of The Whole Pantry by Bell Gibson. Tell you what, a good eggplant parmigiana with cauliflower cheese would have sorted that right out. Exactly. Exactly. I swear I've told this before, but I was in LA the day Steve Jobs died. I think I landed the day he died. And then the next day I was in a mall

and there was a big Apple store there and like all these people had left tributes out the front. And they brought out the new iMac with black. Yeah. Yeah, all of them just, all the colours changed on them. Great. It's like software update. But yeah, people had left flowers and pictures and stuff

out the front of the Apple store. It was like a pretty huge tribute. And I was there near the end of the day as the stores were closing up. And I just saw this janitor come across with a huge broom and just wipe all this shit out. Just like comically. It's like, where are you? Where's this all going? Like, where are you brushing these flowers and framed pictures to?

Classic Apple. You know, so tomorrow there's a new update of new flowers. You have to come back and bring new flowers. These flowers are obsolete. Yeah. They're already dead. Classic them.

They're wilting, they're running out of battery. You've got to get the new one. Yeah, that's exactly it. Well, thanks Pottsy. Thanks Potto. Potts Point. Thanks Pottsarelli.

Thank you very much too, Patreon subscriber. Hmm. Yeah, there's a lot going on with this one thank you very much to raymond r-a-i-m-u-n-d fuck me raymond dyke okay d-y-k-e okay raymond dyke tommy i mean this is brutal. Yeah. In another world, Raymond is spelt how you'd expect. Yeah.

And Dyke isn't spelt how you'd expect. Yes. So there'd be no, you know, there'd be no expectation of us. We could, ah, let's talk about everybody loves Raymond for ten minutes. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in this world... Everybody hates Raymond's spelling of his name. Yeah, everyone hates Raymond. Yeah.

Also, I feel like we could turn the mics off and do a 10 minutes easy on this name. Oh, if we were just at the pub. But on record. If this was just at the pub, if we were like, you know, there was like a pool competition leaderboard. Yeah. And we saw this one on there. That'd be the night done. Yeah.

You'd be set. But we don't want to get cancelled, you know. Like, you know, we don't want our podcasting license taken away from us. We don't want big podcasting to come along and just squash us like a bug. Especially after the main ep where we were both so well behaved. It'd be a shame for this to be the thing to bring us down. I don't want them deregistering me from the Ballarat and Association District Soccer Society this weekend. Association District Soccer Society this weekend.

Well, so dykes are like the thing that you use for… Sex if you're another lesbian. That's what I was looking for, yeah. Yeah, right. No, they use them for like flooding. Are they the big like… No, it's like a wall. A big wall. That's what it is, right?

Yes. So I remember being in New York and I went to a taping of Letterman. Oh, hang on. I thought this was going to be another LA story where I saw this big lesbian die. I was at Big Tribute out the front of Bunnings. There we go. There we go. No, I went to see a taping of Letterman, you know, and you've done that.

And you go in and you go, the great man. Got to make this pilgrimage. Yep. Working comedy. Yep. Who is there that does comedy that doesn't think of Letterman as something of an idol? In that generation, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

So go in and I think, oh, fuck, I'm so excited. You know, see how it's all done. See the great man operating. And he comes out for his monologue and there had been a lot of storms and I believe flooding in New York at the time. And he goes, there's been a lot of talk. Hang on, hang on. Don't beat me and him.

So he comes out and he's like, yeah, a lot of flooding, a lot of flooding in New York at the moment. And there's been a lot of talk. There's been a lot of talk about how we need to get the dikes yeah they need to get the dikes in to stop the flooding yeah and all i'm hearing all i'm hearing is people say that we need to put the dikes in yeah into new york to stop this yes dave we need to bring yes i'm paul i'm hearing it everywhere i'm paul i'm hearing it everywhere we need to put the Dykes into New York. And, you know, I'm here saying, well, don't worry about that. We've got Dykes in New York.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I watched the show back on the telecast that night. That monologue joke didn't make the cut. But honestly, I think I've underplayed the run-up that he took to that one. And you go in and you go, the great man. And then you're watching that and it's like, oof. And also, just as a joke, it's like, oh, plenty of dykes in New York.

And it's like, is New York renowned for that? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a big city with a big population, like statistically sure. New York, the big gay apple. You know? New York, New York, The town's so nice. Gay ladies. You licked a pussy twice. Licked them out twice.

Licked each other out twice. Very weird sort of idea to think of New York as any different from any other town. But I think going to a taping like that of someone that you... San Francisco maybe. Yeah. But New York, I don't know. Well, he can only work with the location that he's in, you know? Yeah, maybe. Yeah. But New York, I don't know. Well, he can only work with the location that he's in, you know. Ah, okay.

But it really was a, it's that thing that's like, it's good to see, you know, someone that you really think is great. Yeah. You know, and watch a recording of that. And you sort of realise that it's, you know, it's the fish that John West reject. You know what I mean? Right. It's the stuff that doesn't make the cut.

Yes. That makes him as good as the stuff that does make the cut. Well, look, to be fair, maybe it's a bit like there are stories about Letterman's treatment of his writers and staff and whatever. You read interviews with his writers and, oh, he never came and saw us. He never spoke to us. I worked there for three years, never talked to him. Well, to be fair, if they're writing gags like that, maybe it's not worth a trip down to the writer's office.

I almost get the impression that it's maybe the other way around. That's a Dave original. That one wasn't on the autocue. That was just him. That was him doing a bit of a riff up the very top. The writer's in the writer's room going, can't please. I'd be surprised.

I think he was not putting too much effort in terms of written jokes at that time. Yeah. This was pretty, yeah, this was sort of near the end of his tenure, I guess. Yeah. Relatively so. Yeah. But thanks, Raymond Dyke. Yeah.

Yeah, thanks very much, Raimondo Dyke. Mm-hmm. Yeah, thanks very much. Raimondo. Dyke. Oh, well, finally. I feel like it would be a miss for us not to guess his nickname. Do you reckon, what would he have copped?

Oh. A lot of people just finding out and going, can I put my finger in you? Surely. Yep. Because, you know, the old story, the boy with his finger in the dyke. Yep, yep, yep. So surely there's a lot of that. I mean, that's a big risk, though, if you do that and they haven't know the old story the boy with his finger in the dark yep yep yep so surely there's a lot of that I mean that's a big risk though if you do that

and they haven't heard that old story it's like what yeah yeah yeah and especially it's like how many times have you heard a little boy finger yeah

and what this is meant to be a nickname can I finger you yeah yeah old baby finger yep yeah dykey

Ray big Ray thanks Big Ray. Thanks, Raybo. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Belinda Drew. Oh, okay. Belinda Drew. Yeah. Yeah.

Just like you. You draw. Yes. And then once that moment's gone. Once it's done. Guess what? You've drawn. Tommy Drew.

Tommy Drawn. Or Tommy Drew. Tommy Drew. Okay. No, because I would say I drew that. I wouldn't go I drawn that. Yeah, but I'm trying to think of what I would say. You could still say Tommy Drew that.

Tommy Drew that? Yeah. Yeah, I guess I could. Yeah, Tommy Drew. Tommy has drawn this. That is a good note. Like, if you would have just gone full time with your cartoons and stuff, I mean, that is a good last name.

Is there a cartoonist with the last name Drew? I mean, Nancy Drew really fucked that up from being a fucking yeah yeah meddling yeah what's the uh well yeah what's the artist with the best um surname for what they do and it can't be they've changed their name you know what i mean right so someone with the surname painter and then they're a famous painter for example yeah are there any examples of that in the world a musician that's you know got the got the last name you know like tempo or something like that yeah yeah there must be people people know there must be that'd be a good that's a good list but that's that's the thing sometimes when you see those names you go okay tommy drew and he's a cartoonist did you change your name or did you

your whole life just get beat down by people going, you should draw with a name like that? Yeah. Fucking okay. That's a good interview series. Yeah. You just track down people and it's like, you know, what was it? Did that, this is nature versus nurture. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Were you beaten into that by your name or did you genuinely have an aptitude for it before you yes got into it i'm i'm sorry sorry if i'm a tiny bit distracted while i'm talking to you uh tommy but what's happening at the moment is our webmaster is transferring our website over okay and um and i'm getting a lot of messages where he's doing it for us but it's all all the information is going to me and it's just literally i'm getting emails from the new servers going, oh, just give us the pin from this, and then an email from him or a text from him going, can you give us the pin from this? And I'm just the middleman between the server and our webmaster,

who is Joel, who lives up in… Cairns, doesn't he? Well, yeah, sure, yes, that way. Okay. Yes. Joel who lives up in Cairns doesn't he well yeah sure yes that way I met him when I was up there lovely young man who's very nice to be if you go to our website

he did all that for us we sort of update it but he was very nice enough to listen to the show and offer his services. And we've said, thank you. Yep. And then now he's transferring us across to another server because he got sick of hosting us.

Yes, absolutely. He emailed us. He's like, how would you boys feel if I shut this down? And we're like, neither of us know enough about how all that really works to be like, I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing or not. You tell us whatever's easiest. Yes, we don't know the answer to anything. So you tell us the answer and then we'll agree with it

because there's no other option. Yeah. Yeah, but hey, look, go and check out our website. Go and see his fine work over there. That's where you find all the merch and tickets and whatever. Yeah, go and see what's left in the merch at the moment. But Belinda Drew, Belinda Webmaster, as she'd be known if she was doing this job for us.

Yes. Belinda, well, Belinda Draw, she used to be known at the time, but now it's Belinda Drew. But Tommy Drew, that'd be a great name for you if you were doing... Tommy Drew. Yeah, because it's a snappy name as well. Yeah, it is good. Yeah.

It is good. Maybe you can make up a new, another fake name. Yeah. So you've got Tommy Dastley for comedy and Tommy Drew for your cartoons. Tommy Drew for art. Yeah. Tommy Brush for when I do paintings. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Tommy Anal for when you... Mm-hmm. Yeah. Tommy Spoof. Yeah. Right. Have I ever talked about when I was in high school and i was a i was around a kid

who was a year above me which at that age is like that may as well be a decade and i used the term i was talking to a friend and i used the term spoof and this kid overheard me and he went did you just call it spoof and then just started like roasting the absolute shit out of me and he went, did you just call it spoof? And then just started like roasting the absolute shit out of me. And I was like, oh, I guess that's like the bad thing to call it. And then over time it's come back. The world has caught up. Yes. And I like to think that that man remembers that interaction as vividly as I do.

Right. And thinks back and is like, wow, I really got it wrong that day. But that's just classic fashion. I've got to track this kid down and let him know I'm sorry. Something goes out of date. No one says anything. But that's just classic fashion. I've got to track this kid down and let him know I'm sorry. Something goes out of date. No one says anything. No one uses it for ages. And all of a sudden someone goes, remember when we used to call it this?

Oh, yeah, that's the funniest thing in the world. Yes, exactly. And now it's absolutely back. Yeah, yeah. But I wonder if he sees it chucked around online and goes, yeah. I thought I told these people. No, yeah, he's still out there just bullying people who use it. Yeah, right, right.

Commenting on stuff, people he doesn't know. Cool, it's sprog like an adult. Yeah, yeah. But he's now like gone, fuck, I really fucked this one up. And now he's using it seriously. Yes. Like he's making love to his partner and going, oh, how would you like it if I did a big spoof right now?

And the girl going, what the fuck? And just laughing. Yep. Yep. All right. Well, thanks. Thanks, Belinda Drew. All right.

We've got one left. Look, I can't concentrate while I'm getting these nonstop messages, I'll be honest with you. So let's just, I've got to bloody concentrate on this one. Our website's going to go down. So let's just, I've got to bloody concentrate on this one. Our website's going to go down. So let's just do one more. Oh, Jesus. It's absolutely nonstop. Wow.

Is he currently doing littledumbdumbclub.com slash Silk Road? Oh! That'd be good. We need to have like a little dark web section of our website. Oh, yeah. That's a way to drive up the traffic. I wonder if we can do that. Come for the child pornography.

Stay for the funny content. Fucking hell. It's still going. This is fucking going nonstop. Jesus Christ. Okay. Fucking hell. Well, let's just do one more then.

Yeah, yeah. One more name. I have to do one more. But look, that's a great idea. What we can do. What about this? We don't have a link to it on the site. But look, that's a great idea. What we can do, what about this? We don't have a link to it on the site and we go... Secret URL.

Yes. But if you can guess it... Exactly. There's like a little bonus section. So it's a littledominantclub.com slash and then you have to guess it. Right. That's a great idea. First person to find it gets some sort of prize.

Maybe there's a link to a prize on it. Okay. That's good. Yeah. a prize on it. Okay. That's good. Let's do this. And I can't wait to get all the codes updating me to pull it on once we make any fucking change. It looks like Joel's already doing a lot of work. It's like, can you do this one extra thing for us?

Okay, let's do one more. Yeah. One more. Okay, thank you very much to patrons. Oh, okay. Wow. What? Oh, no. It's just sort of weird.

Like sometimes you read a name and it'll be a little bit similar to a previous name. But this is rare. This is similar to two names that we've... Well, it's similar to one name twice. Is this what it's like to be getting all those updates at the moment? This is incredibly tedious. This is similar to a name we've just read out, but like a combination of the person's name. So, remember when we had the...

I don't know if you remember back, but we had something called Raymond Dyke? Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So, remember when we had the, I don't know if you remember back, but we had someone called Raymond Dyke? Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well. It's a combination of that and that. This sort of reminds me a little bit of that. Just, I don't need to be braced.

Just read the name. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Gaimand Comedy. Gaimand Comedy. Yeah. Right. Isn't that weird? Right.

Don't you think that's weird? That reminds me of another Letterman joke I saw him do. All right. Thanks, everyone, for supporting the show. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub if you want to chip in, get the bonus episodes, get your name read out somewhere along the line. Get onto LittleDumbDumbClub.com, get yourself a ticket to an upcoming gig,

get some merchandise. Let's fill up that. It is filling up quick. But remember, you've had your tickets for the 500th episode for a year and a half now or so. Yep. Don't forget, it's on soon. It's going to be a big old show. We've got some great plans, some great guests locked in.

It is August the 14th. It's a Saturday night. It's going to be a fucking ripper. That's it. Get your tickets. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. See you, mates.