The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 564 - Wil Anderson & Charlie Clausen

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

We're making the most of lockdown by finally lining up a TOFOP crossover with WIL ANDERSON and CHARLIE CLAUSEN! Charlie dishes the dirt (literally) on his first ever role in Blue Heelers, and we brainstorm ways that we could worm our way into the background of his more recent acting gig on Home & Away. There's also a lengthy dispute of when and where Charlie and Tommy met for the first time, Karl's on the edge about a new listener of the podcast AND we delve into our personal histories of physical altercations! PLUS The boys in Talkin' Gibbo review the BBC documentary The Bad Influencer! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Charlie Claussen and Will Anderson from Tofop. We have live dates around the country. If you would like to come and see us, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth, head to littledumbdumbclub.com. You can get your tickets there, you can get your merch there, you can sign up to our Patreon there and support the show and get bonus episodes every week. We will talk to you more about that at the end of the episode in Talking Dumb Dumb, but until then, enjoy this great new episode with ToeFob's Charlie Clawson and Will Anderson. Hey, mates, welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. And with me, as always, into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us.

My name is Tommy Dasolo and with me, as always, is the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickheads. We are back on Zoom. We are in the Melbourne lockdown and we are using this opportunity to bring you a podcast crossover for the ages. Please welcome into Little Dum Dum Club, Will Anderson and Charlie Claussen. Yay! From TOEFOP. From TOEFOP.

Put context on me. Come on, mate. Thank you very much, mate. I appreciate you patronisingly jamming that plug in at the end of it. From TOEFOP. Yes. Could you please mention the least successful thing Charlie or I have ever done? Could you please mention that thing?

Not the fact that he is a well-respected actor who's been on many TV shows around Australia, that I have my own TV shows and successful comedy career, but I'd like to always be introduced, Charlie, onto this podcast as Little Dumb Dumb Club Patreon subscriber. Yes, yes. Right, right. Sorry, let me re-do the plug. Okay, Patreon subscriber Will Anderson

and Blue Heel is his very own Charlie Corley. There we go. Heaven forbid us introing you is from TOEFOP, a thing that is still bigger than the thing that we are doing now and the biggest thing we've ever done. I don't know if that's true. Will and I often talk about this because I like to, whenever we have to do any kind of press before a show,

like a live show, I always have to write the blurb and I'm always like, how do I market this show and so i always say it's australia's number one independent comedy podcast and will's pulled me up on it and gone i think dum-dum club's probably the number one independent comedy podcast oh i would love that if you put that in the blurb from now on the number two comedy podcast in australia behind little dum-dum club if you could just if you could just do that for us. I don't think it's true. I don't think it's true.

Well, I think Tofop is one of those things that it's been very nice that people have stuck with it and the people who like it, like it a lot. But there's not a lot of new people signing up to Tofop these days. It's very much, you know, like they have those sort of wings of the internet. I feel like Tofop at any point could pivot to just being its own secret bit of the internet where some real Pete Evans stuff is taking place.

Oh, right, like a dark web podcast. Yeah, a dark pod. It's almost its own genre, like the Grateful Dead fans. The Grateful Dead fans love the Grateful Dead and not many other genres of music. And I think Tofop fans, podcasting is Tofop and that's kind of it. We actually call our fans deadheads as well, but it's nothing to do with The Grateful Dead or anything like that. Just ice addictions.

And the members of The Grateful Dead towards the end kind of resented being in The Grateful Dead and the fan base that they had cultivated. So is there any similarity there? Well, this is the one thing that Charlie and I have definitely discussed because there becomes a point with podcasting where you've got to decide to end it yourself. You've got to go to some government commission and say,

I am done with this. Could you please put me out of our misery? Like, could we please? That makes sense why we joke about suicide so much on here, because, yeah, it's like, it's all we know. It's the only way the podcast is going to end. It's actually very apt. I think one day

it is going to be, like, of mice or men style with Charlie and I. One of us is going to take the other out to a panic and just kind of let us wander off. We have an episode called Until We Die where we spent the majority of the episode speculating how does it end and we just could not conceive of a way

other than, like Will says, of mice and men or just a tragic heart attack. And we just hope that happens live on air while we're recording. If one of us is going to have a stroke or a heart attack, we want to be recording when it happens. We've got the same thing with me and Tommy. We just think the only way out of this is to one of us get more successful.

And again, we can't really conceive of that happening. So I don't know if there's any way out of this. But we're sort of more of a chance of killing ourselves at this point, even though we're both, like, doing fine. I mean, Charlie and I have ridden some waves over the years we had to stop doing the show for a while because charlie was on home and away and they were a bit worried about being i'm in a fan family show like home and away and also doing our podcast and like both of us have ridden like times where we've been successful where we've like you

know things have fallen apart for us like we've been on a real journey of highs and lows and I've been listening to you guys for almost the exact same time and it's just been the same shit over and over, like Groundhog Day. Yeah, consistent lower mid for 10 years, yeah. Yeah. You know what? You say that about you don't get a lot of new subscribers.

I feel like when we go to our live shows, we've been seeing the same faces for 10 years and it's almost like they keep turning up just in case something different happens. And they're like, fuck, we don't want to miss out the time when something actually changes. But unfortunately, it hasn't happened, guys. Do you ever have anyone, like occasionally, very occasionally,

I'll get someone come up to me in the street and say like, hey, I love Tofop. And I'm always shocked like shocked that A we have people who like to listen to it

but B that someone would want to come up and let me know like we always think it's like a kind of dirty secret like whenever people

tell us they listen to Tofop with their partners I'm like what kind of fucked up relationship is that where you guys

like to chill out of an evening you put I don't want to kink shame you, but gross. Disgusting. That is real gross. Not even my wife listens to ToeFop. She fucking hates it.

I can't imagine what other couples are doing. Oh, well, you know what? You know what's started happening with me is this is a new thing. We actually were talking about not getting new listeners. I've actually got a new listener for this show. And a shout out to the new listener. My wife's mum has started listening to the show. Oh, no.

Yes, accidentally. So what happened is that my wife gave my mother-in-law her iPhone, her old iPhone. And so she's like, you know, trying to sort of deal with an iPhone, having not really used one before. And she's still got like the podcast app on it that my wife has, for some reason, subscribed to our podcast without even ever listening to it. Well, your wife, Carl, as we should obviously don't say her name,

but as we should refer to her from now on, your soon-to-be ex-wife, what was she thinking? Don't say her name, but as we should refer to her from now on, your soon-to-be ex-wife. What was she thinking? I think that Don't Say Her Name is that one listener that makes us more popular than Tofop. I think that's the one that puts us into the top slot, so shout out to her. Yeah, she's the tiebreaker. So now my mother-in-law, because she's tackling the iPhone,

these updates keep coming up every week, and she thinks it's almost like a to-do list. So she's like, oh, the phone's telling me I have to listen to this podcast. So she's been, she started listening to it and she started listening at a really bad time in the show where it's been two or three episodes in a row. Oh, sometime between the start and the finish of it. No, she's honestly started listening, just as I started describing the whole drama of the upstairs dog pissing all over the balcony and it leaking down into our house.

I've been talking about that for like three weeks in a row. And so she's been hearing all about that and texting her daughter, my wife, and going, what's happening with this dog? You know, have you plugged up the ceiling yet or what's going on? And then she started doing this thing where she's listening to it in the family home, like it's the olden days around the wireless, like it's the 1930s, like it's the Sullivans or something. So they're all listening.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now my father-in-law, my mother-in-law, and then my sisters-in-law have been gathering around the iPod in the kitchen and listening to the stories of dogs pissing on me. This is my worst nightmare. I would not be able to handle my partner's family tuning into this en masse. That is nightmare stuff. I was going and dropping off my child you know for

like uh when they wanted to to see her and she i was just getting questions and questions about the dogs pissing on us from upstairs and me going what's the context happening here why would she know about this what what's happening here and then she's and then she starts telling like don't say no my wife's just saying say oh like what's going on carl's so funny on the podcast and then he comes around here and it's not really like that i've i've i've had a similar dilemma where um we told a story a couple months back about i've moved into a new place and got new neighbors and um one night i stole their dog. They were away and the dog wouldn't stop barking and my solution was to climb their fence, grab the dog

and bring it into my house. And since then, we hadn't met them. They'd just moved in and I stole the dog. But since then we've become quite... Had not met them, Carl, and climbed over the fence and stole their dog. Liberated the dog. The dog was...

A solution to your problem, I cannot believe you have not conveyance yet. Look, the idea that you might climb upstairs, steal the dog and kidnap the dog seems to be the first thing that you would have thought of. But the issue for me now is that we've got to know them quite well. You know, we're away at the moment. They're bringing bins for us, keeping an eye on the house.

And I've been talking to them and they've been asking what I do. And at the moment, not a lot of acting, but quite a bit of podcasting. And I made the mistake of saying, oh, I do a couple of podcasts. And they said, oh, what do the podcasts call? And as I started saying Topop, I'm like, oh, fuck. What are the odds that they actually start listening and they make it through? Because I don't name. There's nothing specific about where they live or the type of people they are,

but it is an entire story about me stealing their dog, which we've got a few episodes worth of mileage out of. And it's like if you're saying I stole my neighbour's dog and it's like, well, it's out of us and the one on the left side of Charlie's house. So it's pretty good odds this is about us. Also, remember that time where that guy came back with the dog and said he'd rescued the dog? I think he actually stole the dog.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's such a great thing for your mother-in-law to have heard, Carl, because it's like it's the perfect storm where it's a disgusting story, so it's you being quite crude in the telling of it, but also as people who listen to the whole arc will know it's you kind of fundamentally failing in taking care of the problem so she's hearing that and she's like this this guy this my daughter's husband just cannot get things done like you were going up there and this guy was pissing all over you by the end of it so that's not the kind of impression

you know what i know what you're saying tommy but, but I'm hearing a different part of this story. I'm hearing the bit where she said, you're super funny on the podcast, but you're boring as batshit when you come around here. And I just think you're serving up the wrong material to grandma. Like, this is her opportunity. Like, she loves the blue shit. You're going around, you're on your best behavior. You're like, yes, please. She wants Carl Chandler after dark. What's going on? Yeah, yeah. Look, now that she's a fan of the show, now that she's aware,

I can go around with all the in-jokes. I can go around and say, hey, Ma, in law, why don't you jump off the West Gate? Hey, what about, let's me and you go off to Koh Samui. Hey, got him. All this sort of stuff. And she's going to fucking love it. Yeah, you know what she's going to get for Christmas?

Merch. Yes. stuff and she's gonna fucking love it yeah you know what she's gonna get for christmas merch yes oh i was gonna suggest uh live live show at the uh live show at the in-laws house just so she can finally you know she can bring that together she can have like a positive carla chandler interaction in her living room she's an italian um grandmother so it will be fully catered it will she will absolutely love it she will actually there's probably some mentions of things I have to go back and delete now you know what I would like as well things I've said in the last 10 years

if you did a live show from her house like all the pictures she has of Don't Say Her Name you'd have to blur them out, a current affairs style oh yes and finally take the plastic off the couch in the room that we're not allowed to go in. Oh no, for your fans, keep the plastic on the couch. Well, I just realised she's probably listening to this right now. So, um, g'day, um, g'day, Mrs. Don't Say Your Name Senior.

Don't Say Your Name Senior. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Yep. Hope you're enjoying this one so far. We've got, uh, we've got a so far. We've got a big fish. We've got two big fish. We've got Will Anderson, Charlie Clawson.

Hope this one's doing it for you. She might know Charlie from, I don't think Home and Away gets a big run in the household out there, but they're over 70. It'd be glued onto the ABC, so they'll know Will. They'll know Will from the Gruen transfer and stuff like that. So this is something. You know what? It'd be great if it was that. So this is something. You know what? It would be great if it was the opposite.

She was like, you know what? I didn't even know you had a podcast. I've been listening to Tofop for years. Love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That shit about the guy stealing the dog was amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like this week's episode, Carl,

but I've heard that dog story before because I'm a big Tofop fan. If you could just edit that out. So that's what's been happening the last couple of weeks. And then – so this is the thing I've got to remember. When we do big things like with our podcast, like we go to Koh Samui, we have big shows and good things happen to us. I really have to grasp onto them because it feels like there's a lot more of the other side of things happening.

So that's been happening the last couple of weeks. And then last week i um i changed accountants and so i went to my new accountant and uh it had been advised that i go there for other people other people i know use them so i went there and i'm trying to explain how my earnings work during the year and i'm trying to explain you know in the world of arts world of comedy it's you know it's a little bit different to everyone else so then i'm like i've been trying to explain for 10 so you're just running you're trying to just run them through the basics of you know comedy economics which is so mate you've got to imagine you have a mattress now under that mattress instead of the base there's a whole

bunch of cash yes yeah yeah and do i have to declare these pesos, these New Zealand dollars, this bar? Most of the stuff I get at the door at Spleen, I don't have to declare that, do I? So I'm running him through like 10 minutes of like how a podcast works and how Patreon works and all this sort of stuff. And then it gets to the end about live shows and then I say, oh, and also we did some Zoom stuff in lockdown. And then all of a sudden he's like, oh, right, right, right.

Like The Grub. The Grub's one was great in lockdown. Oh, like Cody's podcast. Mid-Flight Brawl. Mid-Flight Brawl. And all of a sudden he knows every podcast except for our one. I'm like, fucking hell. So he's very much au fait with this for the entire time you've been talking.

Yes, absolutely. But he's just let you go on with this demented explanation of how podcasting works. That's fine. But what I don't like is how he knew every podcast except for ours. And he's like going, oh, I like this one. I'm like, no, cunt. They're like us. We're bigger than them.

You liken them to us don't liken us to them i said i started saying how many patreon subscribers how many how much money's going through the books of those two podcasts i reckon we've got more combined okay i okay here is what has happened 100 this is what has happened so you've been recommended this account by other people i imagine other people in the entertainment industry and one of them knows you knows you're going to this account and says here's what you're going to do when it gets to podcasts i know you love podcasts you're always telling me about the grab and you're going to see josh ells podcast live all the time like you're right across podcasts but this will be so much fun just pretend you don't know what a podcast is and then reveal you do

and watch what happens next. Please film it. Just send it to my WhatsApp group. Please film it. Yeah. How far did you get through to any – did he mention any podcasts that you've been a guest on? Because that's devastating.

It's like he's heard you. He's heard you give a plug for the little dum-dum and thought, ah, not for me. I've got plenty of this guy on this one episode. Well, let's put it this way. Once he brought up two examples, I was like, no, that'll do here. I'm going to set the record straight.

So I'm not going to sit there and let him go all day and go through A to Z whilst looking over the L of local podcasts. Carl, I think I've got a worse story than that. When I was still living in Sydney, I was renting an office space, a desk, like I had a hot desk in this design studio. And Will and I, we recorded a few episodes in there. We filmed a bunch of stuff.

And after Will left, she was like, ah, so that's Will Anderson. And I'm like, yeah. And she's like, oh, I love all these podcasts, Tofot, Velocity. And I'm like, yeah, Tofot, stop. I said Tofot with Will Anderson and, and she's like, and oh, that's you. I've been working there for a year, And she's like, oh, that's you. I've been working there for a year, a year. And she'd seen my synonyms. She had not put it together. It wasn't until the star power of Will Anderson, like, just sauntered into the studio that she's like, oh, I get it. I get it.

You're that Charlie Clawson. Yeah, yeah. He sauntered in, but whereas you were literally the saunter rather than the saunter. This is a wild move in a co-working space, just bringing the Zoom in and cranking out a pod while there's like 20 other desks around you. It was a power move.

That's a rich move. At 6.30 at night, I've sent my wife and infant out of the house so we can do this properly. And you're just whacking it in the middle of someone's website. It was a little awkward when they were leaving. Because bloody Will Anderson's there. This is like a great event for them. This is a good story to tell their friends at their next dinner party. This is a very cheap corporate.

I was hot desk. Yeah, normally it costs you 10 grand, minimum. And I'm not hosting for less than 15. But anyway. So yeah, Charlie, great to have you on the show for the first time. We heard recently that you were talking on Tofop about how you wanted to be on the show. I think teeing off was the language that was used. We've heard a bit about this.

This has got back to us a lot. And I'm like, I felt a bit guilty. But then I was like, to be fair, we've never been invited down to Summer Bay to be a character or anything like that. Like, it's never happened the other way around. Wouldn't it be great if, like, you guys rocked up at the surf club and it was revealed you were both Elf's illegitimate children. And you'd been sent away with your respective mothers. Elf had been, like, Jack Thompson style living with two sisters. Had a baby with each,

and you were the babies. I reckon me and Tommy have got Yabby Creek written all over us. Oh, big time. You're on the wrong side of the river, for sure. Oh, that would be, if I was ever going to be on that show, I'd have to insist that I be, yeah, some blow-in from Yabby Creek.

I don't want to be a Summer Bay original. Yeah, but you're not, like, what were the gang called that have the tats on their chest? The River Boys. The River Boys. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so this is what's happening. It's the Home and Away Podcast Festival.

It's the Summer Bay Podcast Festival. It's very close to the movie, but in Australia. You can't travel, right? So the Summer Bay Podcast Festival, it's all the hottest, you know, podcasts in, you know, Summer Bay. Alf has, like, a real Joe Rogan style. The Grab and Midflight Brawl. Like The Grab and like Midflight Brawl and all the big ones that accountants listen to.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Irene's got some sort of Annabelle Crabbe, you know, Lee Sayles style operation running. Like everyone in town, the Riverboys have got one. Like it's a whole thing that's going on. And you guys are the hottest podcasters from Yabby Creek. And you come into town for the big Summer Bay podcast festival. How meta are we going? Because am I in it as my character and also ToeFox Tony Clawson?

Like is it one of those things where we do the old 80s thing where you have a split screen and also you come up to each other and you go yes absolutely 100 i love this i did actually try and get will on at once at one point um uh when my character got married and they were planning like the i don't know the bucks day episode or whatever and i said to the producers oh will would really love to come on and just be like an extra in the Bucks day scene. And they were like quite keen about it, but it never happened. So I don't know,

like if we couldn't get Will on as an extra in the Bucks day scene, I don't know how we'd go getting, you know. How did they not let that happen? I think it was one of those things everyone was enthusiastic about, but just didn't work out for whatever reason. But my favorite thing about that was I've already previously been on home and away i was on home and away and that's what i like to think so i was in three episodes of home and away so i was an extra in the um in the diner on home and away and they basically the way they shoot it

they shoot all the diner scenes in in one so So it might be a week's worth of storylines, but they shoot them all in the one location. So I got to be an extra in three episodes, so three different costumes and whatever. Right, right. And if you want to define the look that I was rocking, very Rad Dad. Like 100% from the Rad Dad wardrobe. Like big fluorescent Okanui shorts

and then, like, you know, Hawaiian shirts, like, clashing. Great. You know, probably could have pulled it off in a hipster way now, but not at the time. Absolutely not. It was, like, real, like, let's secretly put a sex offender in the background of this scene. How was the hair looking back then?

Bit of frosted tips or what was happening? Caramel chips, bit of red dye. I mean, it's hard for me to define the diner. How was the hair looking back then? A bit of frosted tips or what was happening? Caramel chips, a bit of red dye. I mean, it's hard for me to define the eras. There were a lot of bad choices going on. I wasn't getting a lot of sleep. I thought a lot of things were good ideas at Revolver at three o'clock in the morning on Saturday night.

Because Home and Away's been on for so long, I wonder what the record is for number of different roles that one actor has done on that so long, I wonder what the record is for number of different roles that one actor has done on that show. Because, Charlie, you're part of an elite group of people who you're in Blue Heelers twice, playing two separate characters, right?

You had been on for one ep before you got cast as one of the leads. Yeah, I'm more of a... I don't think I'm actually even visible. That was my first ever acting job, apart from commercials, was I got cast of a – I don't think I'm actually even visible. That was my first ever acting job apart from commercials was I got cast as a grave digger on Blue Heelers. And I turned up – No name, just a grave digger? Just grave digger.

And I turned up – because I think the Mount Thomas PD were exhuming a body to check dental records or something. And when I turned up – It would be a pretty big cemetery there in Mount Thomas, surely. Oh, yeah, mate. It's a murder capital of Australia. Yeah, yeah. The grave digger's probably bigger than the police force in that town.

Yeah, that's probably the biggest industry in Mount Thomas, actually. When I turned up there was... It's weird when you drive in and you're like, what's the biggest industry here? Grave digging. We have got Australia's biggest graveyard. It's a tourist attraction. We get a lot of tourists here. grave digging we have got Australia's biggest graveyard it's a tourist attraction like yeah

we get a lot of tourists here they don't a lot of them don't leave but we do get a lot of tourists here yeah when I turned up there was there's another actor there

and I said oh so what are you playing he said oh I'm the grave digger and I was like oh no no no I'm the grave digger and so we both had to go

seek out the producer because I think we had there was one line of dialogue for the gravevedigger, which is like, is this him, Tom? Oh, wow. Something like that. Gravedigger's fighting over one line.

And so it's two extras fighting. Over saying, get off my shovel, cunt. Yeah, right. Great. The director's solution was like, we're just going to get rid of the line altogether and neither of you can appear on camera. So I think in that episode,

it's just my gloved hand wiping dirt off a coffin. That's my first TV credit. Oh, wow. The director's done a bit of, I'm going to turn this car around, and then there'll be no grave digger line for either of you. Absolutely. You know what? We don't actually need this grave digger line.

We thought we needed two grave diggers. No grave diggers. One hand. That's all we need. That'd be great if because you two fought, all of a sudden there's a scene in the show where they walk along and go, wow, there's just a big hole in the ground. Let's just dump the corpse in here, I guess.

That just happened by itself. I think you have to pay as much. Like if you don't have lines, then they don't have to pay you for being like a 50-worder or something like that. So that was probably part of the calculation. Oh, it's an industry term, a 50-worder. How much do you think the difference would have been like like what

sort of money are we talking i mean i think i probably got like 200 bucks in the first place so you know maybe 250 200 bucks down a hundred or something like that yeah i can't so i like to think that's the decision that directors are making at the end of the day they're just like yeah yeah you know what if I save them 500 bucks, I can get a couple of bags on the way home before I die. Yes! Yes! Yes!

Christmas party. Checking your pockets. The director's checking their pockets and then going, nothing in there. I do have a borrow, so I'm just going to cross out some lines and then earn myself some more lines. Yeah, you could have been one of those people.

If you'd crossed the 50-line threshold, you could be in that. That would be the dream for me, being like, you know, those people that you see on social media that had, like, one line on an episode of Seinfeld and they're still getting checks every year for, like, 18 cents. Like Gunther from Press. You want to be Gunther? Yeah.

Gunther, Gunther. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say Gunther, I say Gunther. There was a guy on Seinfeld, the guy that didn't want to go out with Elaine. Kramer? No, no, no. There's more than one guy on Seinfeld.

The guy that showed no interest in Elaine and then Elaine was weirdly attracted to him because he wasn't interested in her. And he's like the cheapest guy on Cameo, like going, I'm from Seinfeld. He's making a pretty good living off being on Seinfeld for about five minutes, I reckon. So you could, I'd like to see how much money you could get from Gravedigger Hand Dude on Cameo. How about this?

Because Home and Away and Seinfeld are pretty appropriately the same level of show. So I imagine it's pretty similar. I'm not saying a full living. I'm just saying I'd like to see how much scratch you could get from it. Yeah, I'd rent myself out to funerals.'ll come i'll come brush the dust off your your loved ones big home and away what what a what a way to depart this this mortal coil as a huge home and away fan you die and then have the famous hand brushing the dirt off your coffin on the way in well maybe it's because someone's such a big fan of Home and Away, right?

Like this person dies. They were just such a huge Home and Away fan that the family are like, you know, we're going to get someone from Home and Away to come out for the funeral. But the family, they're not in show business. They don't understand that to get Alf Stewart to come out to your funeral is going to cost you 30 grand. They don't really have that sort of money. And eventually they just go down a list of –

That's like the huesy of that world. Yeah. Eventually they're like, hues of that world. Yeah. Eventually they're like, look, we've got $300. We can get you the hand of the guy who wiped away the dirt on the coffin. I think it's a gutsy business move to get on there, on Cameo, and you're strictly like you're not doing any home and away. You're only – it's just your hand that is on no no i reckon on blue heelers as the grave digging people are coming in oh can you my friend's a big home and

away fan and you're going i don't do any of that home and away shit on this account sorry this is no no i reckon he does but there's two tiers it's either it's you know couple of hunch couple of hunch for your character and then like you know 30 bucks for the the hand yeah the great it's like the counting crows don't play Mr Jones. Like that's their thing. But I'm sure if you pay the Counting Crows enough money, so it's like I'll bust out Zach McGuire for the right amount of cash. But otherwise it's just Gravedigger hand.

The Gravedigger hand's your B-side. Are you telling me that the Counting Crows don't play Mr Jones? Yeah. Apparently when they played Blues Fest about three or four years ago, everyone was hanging out for the encore because it's going to be Mr. Jones and they didn't play it. They refused to play it. I am not a violent man, but if I dragged myself to see Counting Crows

and they did not do Mr. Jones, I would rush the stage myself with my wonky hips and punch him in his awkward dreadlocked face it is it is pretty you don't get that

with a lot of other stuff like Lionel Messi wouldn't go to a new club and go no I don't I don't score goals that's it like everyone knows me

for that it's boring I've done that it's what made me big people can't get past it I sort of resent the success of it now yeah I do

I just do assists now i find that more interesting i think if you remember seeing scribe at the big day out in sydney and when his big hit was not many and scribe went out at the start of his set and he said look there was this massive crowd and he was like i know a lot of you are just here to see one song so i'm just going to do it straight away get it out of the way and if you want to go and do something else you can do something else so he plays you know not many goes absolutely off perfect decision for him because he gets the entire crowd reaction and then just the hardcore fans stick around but then at the end he just played not many again and i was like yes sir that is exactly what we came here for and if i went toing Crows and they did not come out

and start with Mr. Jones, in the middle of their set play Mr. Jones and then at the end play Mr. Jones, I would ask for my money back. Do you know what we used to do? We used to do like a – we would go to another state and do live shows where we'd have the podcast and stand-up and then we wouldn't – we'd just sort of mix up the order and sometimes we'd do the podcast first and then go, hey, stick around for the stand-up. And then we wouldn't, we'd just sort of mix up the order, and sometimes we'd do the podcast first and then go, hey, stick around for the stand-up. And then we learnt not to do things in that order,

because then everyone fucking left. So now we make sure we do the stand-up at the start and leave our Mr Jones until the end. Yeah, that's it. I think the bigger move than opening with it is just if you're so off the song that you can't bring yourself to just like not fulfill people at all you just play the recorded version in the front of house music like a minute before you walk on you just like you just chuck on the mr jones cd you walk out to that and go there you

go cunts you heard it where that's a version of us playing it in the past we're not doing it tonight or you have a cover band you have your own Crowning Crows cover band come out and open for you and play the songs you don't want to play. That's great. Yeah. Perfect.

Does it depend on like how many other, like obviously, you know, like I think The Cure don't play, what's that one, the jazz one,

the Love Cats. They don't, as a rule, but they've got so many other hit songs, you know, you can sort of forgive them. Yeah, yeah.

Bit of Radiohead and Creep. Yeah, right. I was going to say, like, do you think someone like Nirvana, when Kurt was like, could they not play Smells Like Teen Spirit? I reckon, like, they would be forgiven for not playing that because their crowd are like, yeah, man, that's the commercial song. We're the hardcore fans. They were definitely a band that did that.

Even Radiohead and, like, I've seen Radiohead play Creep live and I've seen The Cure play Lovecats live. They do do it. They just don't do it very often. They do it enough that you're like, tonight might be the night. It might happen. I've heard of it happening. Do they play it a bit like John Farnham and go, nah, nah,

I'm not going to play Sadie the cleaning lady. Nah, nah. And then everyone goes, nah, come on, Johnny, do it. And they go, okay, I'll play Creep. Wow, it's a bit like the musical equivalent of anal, isn't it? If you get me drunk enough and if I'm feeling it, I might just give it up. Yeah, I'll play Mr. Jones on your birthday.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. I do like that. I think that is kind of what the bands do though isn't it like we're gonna play some of our stuff that we like more but you don't like as much and if you pretend you like that as much as creep you might just get creeped but back in the day you could be a band and you could like do a move like that where you you go to the audience like you know what what, we never normally play this one, but you guys have been so great tonight

that we just got to give you something a little special. Whereas now people in the audience can be on setlist.fm looking it up going, they play this every fucking show. You can't get away with just bullshit theatrics like that anymore. That would be good if you're Radiohead fans and you just turn up in the front row every concert going, don't play Creep, big, big black cards. Fuck Creep. Just to turn them around.

Charlie, I think to my memory I've only met you the once, but it was in Adelaide. It was backstage at a gig. I believe Will, you were there. I think also Greg Fleet was there, and my memory is a little hazy, but between one and three members of the Hilltop Hoods were there

All of a sudden I'm starting to realise why your memory was a bit hazy G Fleet was there, was he? That wasn't me, Tommy We have met once before but I believe it was before a Two Guys One Cup in Melbourne. I think that was the Gravedigger's Hand that you met that time.

No, I don't think I've ever been backstage at a show in Adelaide. I don't think I've ever been to Adelaide Festival before. You know what I love about this story is? I was there, allegedly, but I'm backstage at a gig with those people that you've just mentioned. There is absolutely no way for $10 million I could remember what happened that night. Yeah, that's great.

If we can go back and find the security camera footage and it turns out you are there, but it was just such an incredible night that it's just been stripped from the memory bank. How was I? Was I a prick? Was I nice? What's the deal?

Oh, you were great. Yeah, let's say, what did you talk about? What's your memory of this conversation, Tommy? And we'll see if we can jog his memory. Oh, man. I just remember meeting your Will's friend. I don't know. I can't really get in i couldn't

even remember exactly how many members of the hilltop hoods were there if they could do an indication of the state that i was in it was it was one of them or it was all of them you know it wasn't two of them but it's definitely it was one or all of them i was gonna ask though but if the hilltop hoods do you say that they're three or they're two because they're they're three really right yeah there's three of them right all Yeah, there's three of them, right? All up? Yes. There is three Hilltop Hoods and individually they are a Hilltop Hood.

So if there was only one, you technically saw a Hilltop Hood. If there was more than one, they were Hilltop Hoods. But then altogether they're a Hilltop's Hood. Yeah. Was it Rhino Room or something? Yeah, it was Rhino Room. I can remember one year Will was doing shows and I came out for a week. It was the same weekend.

Will, do you remember that weekend where I was crashing at your hotel room and I brushed my teeth with moisturizer? I went into your bathroom to get toothpaste. What detail of this story makes you think I was in a state to remember any of this story? That's the only time I can remember being out for Fringe. I think we were doing... What a lovely thing to say about Adelaide. The only thing I remember is one time I brushed my teeth with moisturiser.

That's the highlight. That's the landmark of Adelaide. That's what I put on Adelaide's postcard. Did we do a live toe-fop there? Have we ever done a live toe-fop in Adelaide? No. No. I feel like, yeah, I feel like it was just like a late-night rhino.

Maybe Fleety was hosting and you would have been on, Will, and, yeah, you were just there hanging out. I'm not saying it didn't happen. But I'm saying it did happen. Based on the fact that you two minutes ago were like, this definitely never happened. I've never been to Adelaide. What are you talking about?

Who are you people? I'm doing a pretty good job of gaslighting Charlie here. He went from saying that definitively this story did not happen to all of a sudden now we know he was staying with you. So we're getting his living arrangements in the story and a little foible that happened in the middle of it. Also, now we know why Charlie has such young-looking teeth as well. He smuggled that in there.

But also what I love about this story is that Charlie was so quick to say that he definitely hadn't been in South Australia, which is the sort of thing that you could say if you're someone who rarely visits the state of South Australia. But you worked on a TV show, McLeod's Daughters, where you lived in South Australia for years. I said I've never done Fringe Festival. Didn't you say it was during Fringe? Oh, yeah, it was during Fringe. Yeah. I don't think I've ever done a Fringe Festival.

But no, that's not true. I have. I just remembered then. I have. There we go. Fucking hell. Oh, shit. I think you thought I was going to sandbag you with some negative interaction

and just go off on you, and so you immediately were trying to distance yourself from the story. This is why we need contact tracing. I got one of Craig Egan's cookies or something before, and I think that's probably more likely what happened. Contact high might be more important than contact tracing in this story. Well, there's only one way to settle this. We've got to get MC Pressure on the pod

and we've got to grill him about whether or not he remembers this interaction happening. But he's got to do it all in rhyming verse. That's how he's got to do it. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Their new hit, One Night at the Rhino Room. Well, okay, so interestingly enough about the Hilltop Hoods,

because people might not remember this and it's just a weird part of their history because they've become such an internationally renowned, like a huge Australian act, obviously, the Hilltop Hoods. But they, of course... I would say, can I just say before that, that I don't know anything about them. And for you to say there's three in there,

I had some sort of idea that they were some sort of polyphonic spree. I thought there was like 12 or 13 of them. So this is news to me. This is the most I've learned about the Hilltop Hoods ever. I'm sure there are a lot of people at house parties at Adelaide that have claimed to be in the Hilltop Hoods. So probably if you rounded all them up, there's probably like 50 people at any one time claiming that they are.

Well, there might have been someone there that night claiming to be Charlie Clawson by the sound of things. Yeah, I think there was. But also with the Hilltop Hoods, think about it. Adelaide, they've become this super successful band. They're kind of the Powderfinger where Powderfinger didn't leave Brisbane. And Brisbane were really super proud of the fact that Australia's biggest band lived in Brisbane and they didn't want to leave Brisbane.

And it was the same with the Hilltop Hoods. There's a lot of local pride that this act who's become so huge still choose to live in Adelaide. And so imagining you're a guy in your sort of 20s to 30s and you live in Adelaide, who are you modelling your entire life and look after? It is the Hilltop Woods, without a doubt. It's all Santa Cruz singlets and No Fear jackets.

But what people might not know is that on the final night of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, there is a party and it's mostly for staff and comedians and they have this wrap-up party at the end of the night. And one year, back in the day, I arranged for a little band from Adelaide called the Hilltop Hoods to play the Melbourne International Comedy Festival's closing party. What do you mean you arranged?

Well, I arranged for you guys. You put that night on, but I was the person who arranged the Hilltop Hoods. Oh, you constantly involved. Yes. We said, can you reach out to the Hilltop Hoods? Yeah, that's right. Yes.

I believe they blamed me on stage. They actually said this is all Will Anderson's fault. At some stage when the comedians who were off their head on drugs weren't really loving some hip-hop from Adelaide. I think that happened the year before I started doing the Comedy Festival because I remember then the after party the next year, it was like, oh, bro, we've got to go to this party. Hilltop Hood's played it in secret last year.

It's going to be so sick. Who knows what band's going to be on this year? And then it was just like some, you know, some local pub. Neil Sedaka cover band, yeah. Yeah, the next like four years of Comedy Festival after parties lived in the shadow of you organising that wheel. And then like none of that. So if the Hilltop Hoods thought they got a raw deal,

at least they weren't walking out to people thinking that they were going to be like the Hilltop Woods or, you know. Hey, have you guys ever been in an adult fight, in an adult physical fight? No. Like a punch-on? Yeah. I cannot name the person involved in this story

Or Tommy would have to do a lot of editing Anyway Okay Back in the day I used to write a column And I had made a joke in that column About this specific celebrity And this specific celebrity got my phone number And on a Sunday out of the blue

uh this celebrity rang me up and challenged me uh to a fight in a park and said like i want you to get down to this park and you and i are going to have a punch on like we're going to settle this joke you made about me in your newspaper column i am now going to punch you in a park and uh i said okay i'll see you there and then never and in addition to that story years later a friend of mine was working with that celebrity and i went out to meet my friend for a drink who was having after work drinks with said celebrity and he said oh this is uh my mate charlie oh he does a show with will anderson and this guy cornered me for an exit he was blind and for like half an hour on loop told me the story of challenging will to a fight and will not turning up and that he called him out and will

never showed up and i said oh okay i get that and then he would restart the story and tell it again and literally like my friend had to come over and put this dude in a headlock and drag him away because it was like he was a broken robot. He kept saying, and I challenged him to a fight, I called him out, and he never turned up. So then I challenged him to a fight, and he never turned up. Will broke something in his brain. That's a shame.

Yeah, you should have turned up to that party and just punched some sense into this guy. That would have been ideal. I mean, it was one of those things where, anyway, whatever. People can those things where, anyway, whatever, it doesn't, like, you know, people can take things the wrong way. And, you know, Sunday's not always the best day for, you know, for everyone to be making the most rational

of decisions around things. And I was never going to fight anyone in a park, but I just thought the easiest way to get out of the conversation we were having was to tell him I was going to meet him at the park. Yeah, yeah. So, like, you say that and then you no-show and then there's no follow-up from him? He's not like –

I was the follow-up. He's got back on the phone being like, you fucking arsehole, I was at the park for three hours. Well, I didn't even think about that. It never occurred to me that there would be follow-up. I was just like, all right, on with my day. No attempt at a reschedule or a second meet-up? It was a before mobile?

No, it was a mobile. It rang me on a mobile. And whatever. It's fine. I have no animosity towards this person. But he did teach me a lesson of how to avoid a conflict situation. Sometimes you just tell people, I'll meet you at the park. And then you're just like, I'll meet you at the park.

And then you're just like, I am not going to the park. So no fistfights for you, Charlie? Any physical altercations in your adult life? There was, I mean, this must have been 12 years. When my wife and I first started dating, I remember her mentioning... Oh, no.

Yeah, I got into a fight with my wife. And she was like she Handled the shit Out of him Like seriously No she mentioned To me She was talking About like

How gross dudes Are in bars And stuff And she hates How like dudes Will grab you Or make comments Or whatever

Blah blah blah So this was Fresh in my mind And we're at a party And I was a bit pissed And I saw She was dancing With her friends

In the dance floor And there's this dude Who was like Hanging out with the girls And he kept sort of Going over And I saw she was dancing with her friends in the dance floor. And there's this dude who was hanging out with the girls. And he kept sort of going over and obviously just talking to them. And the girls were ignoring him. And then I saw what I thought was him lean over and kiss her. And so with her saying that she hates the way guys take liberty, I charged in. And this dude was about 6'4".

I'm 5'10", if anything. And I charged in with a head full of steam and like shoved this dude. And he shoved me back and we started like wrestling and stuff. And then my wife breaks us up and scolds me in front of the entire party. Like gives me a huge dressing down and drags me into the corner and stuff. And she's like, what do you think you're doing? I said, that guy. And he was asking me if I knew where the bathrooms were.

I was like, oh, right. Misinterpreting. I thought he was going for a kiss. Even if he was, probably not appropriate. So, yeah, that's probably the last physical confrontation I got into. See, the lesson that we can learn from this is, like, people are always saying, you know, you don't escalate physically. You should have learned from Will's story.

You step in and you tell him to go meet you at the park. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. You step in and you say, I'll meet you in the bathroom. And he goes, perfect. Where is it? And then he finds out. And then great.

It's a great story for everyone. Win, win. Yeah. Just what you described there. Like, it's so funny. Like when you say like actual physical altercations like, the beginnings of them are just so pathetic. It's just, like, two people kind of trying to, like, grapple each other and, like, you know, no one can really get... It's rare that you see, like, an actual, just, like, a punch being thrown.

Like, most... Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, most drunken conflicts are just, like, sort of, like, weird, weird sort of gratty wrestling sort of. Punches IRL, unless you're dealing with a skilled practitioner, they're all kind of pathetic. Yeah. You get grown up on these action films where it's like some huge sound

effect and someone flying across the room where most of the time a punch is just hitting someone and then there's not a heap of reaction and it's not a very good sound. It is almost the one thing. Not what we've been taught. I love john wick movies and i was just re-watching all three of them in the row the other day because we're in lockdown and i was just like i want to see like keanu reeves go around and kill some people but i think the only person that would actually get through john wick is like a drunken fighter at a pub because all the guys he fights in these movies all have like martial arts experience they fight in the right way they they suit his moves like they kind of it's like a

dance between them but you just get some drunk dickhead swinging punches and we might not know what to do with that right absolutely yeah i had a friend when i was like 14 who was like obsessed with the fact that he knew the right way to like break someone's nose in a fight he was like you don't punch like this you go up like that with the elbow one motion you go up like that and you break their nose that's gonna neutralize them and take them out and it was like who are you at 14 that you're just like combat ready at all times like this obsession that you have when you're like an early teenager with like none. You learn one thing and then you just need to tell everyone that one thing. Yeah.

Did you guys ever have, was it a thing when you were growing up, like getting the poles from shopping trolleys? Like there were kids at my school who would like get them out of shopping trolleys and like sell them to other kids because it was like. A weapon. It was like seen as like you need to have this weapon in your locker at all times at this private school just in case you are rushed by a gang. The handle for a shopping trolley. Like the bar. Like the bar that you're pushing it with. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, firstly. There was like a whole operation that my friend ran. Good on your parents for like, you know, spending so much money sending your kids to private school so they can get this quality of education where they have to walk around with shopping trolley bars. I went to a country public primary school and we never needed a shopping trolley bar to get around at Hafer Primary. Everything was fine. You could handle yourself. You didn't need to recruit any weapons from the local IGA

to, like, some shit goes down. Were you in the bloods or the creeps of your private school? There was a kid at my school whose grandparents had, his grandfather had given him Filipino fighting sticks. Have you seen? They're just like, it's like Daredevil, these two wooden sticks that were like perfectly, the perfect size to conceal in his school bag.

And so I don't know, he was on guard, because it took us about an hour on public transport to get to school and he would have these Filipino fighting sticks tucked into the bottom of his bag just in case he needed to bust them out in case of a gang war. That was the big selling point of the trolley part. They fit perfectly into a standard issue locker. I remember the mentality being like, well, you're just meant to have these.

Like, why else would they build the lockers to be this size? Like, you're meant to be able to get a trolley pole in here. It comes across as all very Jackie Chan as well. This whole thing of like, instead of getting proper weapons, just finding, you know, pulling a bloody couple of Smarties out of a packet and flinging them in people's eyes and, you know, finding whatever, some found weapons. Well, here's what I want to...

It's not super scary. I want to see the guy with the Filipino fighting sticks go up against the guy with the shopping trolley sticks and see which is the superior of the two weapons. Yes. I actually had something happen when I was 16. I actually did get bashed on a train on the way home from school when I was 16.

I remember there's about four of us on this train carriage, and there's a couple of older guys, probably late teens, early 20s, drinking. And my mate kept staring at them. And I was like, don't look at these guys, because you're just going to ask for trouble. And sure enough, these dudes came down. And this fight started. So I went to defend my mate, and these guys turned on me

and smashed a bottle on my head and kicked the shit out of me for about like 30 or 40 seconds before the train pulled in and they jumped off the station and all my mates after these guys had left like oh shit man we got you back next time that happens like don't worry we'll jump in next time next time and i remember it's like stop by cole's on the way home we'll pick up some fresh poles we'll be ready to fucking take those guys out all weekend my mates were telling me how they had my back and that's never going to happen again. And I remember it was Monday afternoon. We're catching the train.

So we had to go catch the train from Kew to Richmond Station and then swap over to get my train home. We pull into Richmond Station. The same guys are there with about 30 mates. And I just watched all my friends who had my back just fucking bolt off the train and run for it and leave me alone on Richmond Station. I had to find like an alternate route to get home for the next like month. It was like these dudes would, I caught that train like three or four times.

And every time, the same time, there'd be a bunch of guys, I guess, waiting to finish me off at Richmond Station. The real headline here is what's young Charlie been doing to get the ire of these bullies to such an extent? Yeah, yeah. A 30-man crew to take you out. Well, you know what? There was a little poetic justice to this story. So about five years later, I remember I was at a bar in Port Melbourne. And there was this dude at the end of the bar who was clearly like a junkie.

And he was sitting on his bar stool, could barely keep his head up, nodding off. And I was looking at this dude and like, why is this guy so familiar? And then I recognized him as the dude who smashed the fucking bottle on my head. But now it was five years on and his life had gone to the toilet. Clearly there were some rage issues as a teenager. I don't know what had happened to him, but I was like, well, you know what? You beat me up. Now you're a heroin addict.

That seems fair to me. Yeah. Yeah. Look, he's hitting the bottle now. Yeah. From one smack to another smack. You hit the bottle, now the bottle's hitting you.

You know what? I thought it was weird that you sat down with him and told him all that, but you know, everyone makes their own choices. I did get challenged to a fight. I forgot about this, but I got challenged to a fight quite publicly. It was on A Current Affair by Shannon Null.

Because I made a joke. So I made a joke. I got challenged to a fight quite publicly. It was on A Current Affair by Shannon Knoll. Oh, yeah. So I made a joke. Anyway, it was a bad joke. I shouldn't have made the joke. How many celebrities have taken much offense to jokes you've made about them and tried to fight you? Well, several, it turns out. I liked the first story, too.

You didn't want to name the person, but then Knowlesy's just right out there in the public domain. Well, the other one never made the press or anything, and I don't tell that story or anything. Charlie knows it because Charlie knows the person, but it's not a story that I go, hey, this dude once did this and named the dude.

Was the other one Guy Sebastian? Is it just all Australian Idol people? Yeah, it was Rob Willsy Mills. Correct me if I'm wrong, Will, but weren't you on like a Tony Squires, like he had a sports panel show and you were on with Anthony Mundine? And didn't you piss him off as well and he wanted to fight you? I think that's true.

Three celebrities. Quickly, I'll tell you that one because that is, that he actually did want to fight me. That was scary. Oh, yes. I was on Tony's squad. By the way, Carl's asked this question because he's clearly got a story in the chamber and then it's just kicked off this round robin.

Who would have thought three white male comedians going like, yeah, someone tried to bash me once too. I'm saving my story till next episode because it's not going to top any of this shit I've forgotten how many people want to punch me so there's heaps anyway so I'm on Tony Squires' show The Fat people might not remember

it was like a sports panel show it was a live they did it live it was on the ABC so it went out live and it was a fun show they would just have like a comedian on a panel of like sports people basically and um i was on with anthony mundine liz ellis um and so i'm sitting next to liz ellis and then anthony mundine's over the other side from like tony squires and anthony mundine at the time was like just early anthony mundine going from being like a well-respected sports person and rugby league player all these sort of things to becoming the Anthony Mundine we know and love

today so he was just starting out on that very very nice choice of words just to make sure he doesn't punch you again but yeah it was a real origin story of the Anthony we would see blossom before our very eyes but back then basically what he was doing was raising his profile by beating up on old people. And so I made a joke about I'm very excited about Anthony's next fight against Ruth Cracknell. Carl will enjoy that reference. It's from his sort of era.

Yes, absolutely. Mother and son. You can Google that. Anyway, Anthony got mad about it. And he said to me, he goes, oh, well, that's pretty great coming from somebody who's wearing nail polish. And so I just thought we were having a little bit of fun, right? We're just doing a bit together. This is like the theatre of boxing.

This is fun. I feel like I'm across from Muhammad Ali. We're actually sparring verbally in this moment. Anthony Mundine, one of the great comedy practitioners of our time. I can see why. As it turns out, I had made a bad judgment call. You're right, Carl. And he was not joking.

And so I stood up and I said, well, mate, if you want a shot at the title, thinking this is just going to be a real funny moment. But I immediately am coming back into reality because Liz Ellis' nails are dug so far into my thigh. She's literally just like, sit down. This is a bad situation. And so he sort of starts coming towards me. There's a moment where he doesn't really come,

but he kind of like threatens towards me. Like there's a moment, you know, where he doesn't really come, but he kind of like threatens towards me. And then he sits back down. And then he sits back down. And, of course, any normal, rational person who was on live TV in that moment would, of course, also sit down and shut up. But I was none of those things listed above because this is what I said. I said, well. You were young.

You were still going for a shot at the title, you know, yourself. You got caramel tips. You got your ball bearing necklace on. There's no rules. So this is what I say. I say, well, we all see who sat down first. Oh. Oh. we see we all see who sat down first so for the rest of the show he is fuming we get off the set i still think it's funny right this is like a funny thing we've just all been doing a funny

thing together we get off the set and i am immediately rushed to by producers who escort me out of the building because he and his crew were coming to get me. Yes! Wow. Oh, that's awesome. That's incredible. The team as well. I love that the team don't have the sense of humour either.

They don't get it either. It's just like this is their off time. Surely they shouldn't be thinking about fighting. Surely they should be resting up. Yeah, the entourage, they're in the green room. They're watching this play out. They're like, let's go, boys. We are fucking on here as soon as the cameras stop rolling.

And then your entourage of Corinne Grant and Hughsey go, yeah, fuck it, come on, let's take them. Let's go get them. You're a dead man, Mundine. Is there any satisfaction, someone who is a trained fighter like you know beating you up what's the satisfaction it's like if you guys are getting heckled

by like a five year old is there any satisfaction in like putting them in their place oh absolutely 100% yeah absolutely people love a five year old they're on the five year old side

so if you can take them down that's impressive. And also if a grown-up tries to take me on, I'll probably lose. Like what's the fun in that? So then there was Shannon Knoll. I'll quickly tell you Shannon Knoll as well. You might as well. Right.

So I made a joke about Shannon Knoll and his dad's name. And anyway, his dad had died and I probably shouldn't have made the joke. The joke wasn't about his dead dad, but it was about his dad's name is anyway it was a anyway his dad had died and i probably shouldn't have made the joke the joke wasn't about his dead dad but it was about his dad's his dad's name is neil noel and it's just a funny sounding name anyway whatever so it's a dumb joke i don't like making fun of names on this show thanks for the kind of humor we're into so anyway shannon was mad and maybe rightfully mad and so he challenged me to a fight. And I, again, was not so much up for the fighting, did not feel like that was an appropriate thing

that we should be settling our differences. Couldn't even advise him to a nearby park, just a straight no. No, well, this was before I'd learnt the lesson of the park. This was like, these were early conflicts and I hadn't sort of worked out what the park would mean to me. So this is what I said instead. I said...

Well, so just, sorry, before you... So with the, I know, I don't want to go back, but with the park that was nominated, was it a convenient park for both of you to get to? Because I imagine when you're challenging someone to a fight at a park, like it needs to sort of be halfway between where two of you live. Well, see, that's what... It's like a break up. To find an equidistant two of you live well that's what that's

what an equidistant public space that's what you would say if you were two people who were both equally interested in going to said park but when you never entertain the idea of going to the park it's remarkably how accommodating you'll be about which particular park it is yeah imagine that happening now having to coordinate a park that's in between both of your five kilometer radius so that you can punch on mid-lockdown all right this one's this one's 4.8 from me it's 4.8 from you we are fucking good to go wear your mask please so noel's he publicly he goes on kyle sanderland show and he publicly challenges me to a fight it becomes this like story about because he's like at the

height of you know his australian idol fame and like you know and anyway i probably made a bad joke so he's you know kind of rightfully mad and so there's like a current affairs stories and stuff about it and of course i am just young and dumb and no nothing so i put my public statement on the matter is um i would be very happy uh shannon looks like he's very the matter is I would be very happy. Shannon looks like he's very good at fighting. I would be very happy to challenge Shannon at something that neither of us are good at, like singing. Oh, no.

Oh, no. And as it turns out, very Carl Chandler approach. And as it turns out, did not make the situation better. Can I ask, Will, there was a grand final, an AFL grand final that we attended. And I think it was halftime and we were outside the stadium. And I remember Shannon Knoll approaching you and putting you in a headlock and singing a song to you. As sort of proof of hey the ultimate punishment but was that pre-fight challenge or was that post no that was post that was in the post-ironic we've

kind of made up now he's like you know yeah exactly that was a weird moment that was a very weird moment I'm surprised I thought Kyle Sandlins would have got a run if he wanted to fight you as well I thought he was going to make an appearance

but Kyle yeah we don't get along that is fair to say right yeah but no physical fights but I think

we've just avoided each other there was a little bit back and forward in the early days like just at the height of their things we used to make a lot of back and forward in the early days like um just at the height of their things we used to make a lot of jokes about them on the glass house and like they would get mad about that oh fuck andy lee probably wanted to fight me we did a whole

philosophy episode about that oh well i'm loving this just because i thought there was enough people that want to punch me in comedy and now i'm'm like, hang on, maybe I'm not the number one in this world. Feel like people have like real extreme reactions to me. I think people, some people like me, but it feels like some people are really turned off by me. I think you were on your way up. It feels like you were picking your targets. You know, you're taking on the contenders on your way up.

And now that you're at the top of the field, you're like, oh, why do you guys want to fight me? And it's like, because you were fucking trying to fight me on the way up. Like, you don't need to fight anyone anymore. You're the sheriff of this town now. Yeah, well, you know what? So to all these people who've previously wanted to fight me, if it would really make you feel better, you can fight me.

Like... What? Name the part. Sorry, I'll email you all the details of the particular part. Oh, I'm not falling for that again. Fool me once. Just all at once, a big Royal Rumble affair. That'd be good.

Well, if it counts, I remember that Shannon Knoll one from when I was at high school and like me and my friends thought it was like oh this is this is like really funny that this guy's like dunking on shannon nolan is now in a fight with him and all this stuff so if it if it makes you feel any better i would have been straight in there with a trolley pole i would have had your back down anywhere in my vicinity you know me yeah me and the fellas would have had you and and if he killed you in the fight, we know who would have brushed the dirt off your coffin.

So there you go. Well, in reflection, I think genuinely I was in the wrong. But if we're talking about public support, I'd say it was 50-50. Must have been a busy week for the Vox Pops in the newspaper that week. Just taken to the streets. Yeah, man. You've been abusing marijuana for years. Well, these are just the people you remember want to kill you.

I can't wait till we put this episode out and we find all the rest of the people. I love the idea that you think my relationship with cannabis is abusive. It is not. It is loving and all embracing. I was going to say. It seems pretty tender and loving to me, yeah. All right. Well, I don't have – look, the person I was going to name in my fighting story is –

I don't even know the name of this person. I'm not even going to try and top that story this week. I'm going to have to wait until we forget any famous names and trot this story out another week, sorry. Oh, we've got a cliffhanger. All right. Good sizzle. What I enjoyed about that the most, Carl,

is I clearly knew you had a story, and I was really looking forward to hearing what that story was. And you said, have you been in a fight? And I was just like, no. I was like Charlie in Adelaide. Never been there. Never even heard of it. Didn't know it was a been there and then suddenly i'm like oh actually i have a list yeah yeah all right well we'd better wrap it up for this week of the little dum-dum club will you'll be able to tune in next week and uh and hear this uh this story um yeah charlie maybe we've won you over as a listener now. Maybe you can

start listening to Steve. I listen. I just have never been a guest. I feel like you guys have waited to what? The late 500s. I feel like you guys are a sitcom that you're flagging ratings. You're like, we need to have a kid. Let's bring a little kid onto the show.

You're the new nephew on the Brady Bunch. Yeah, right. I hope there's not i hope there's not too much fighting in this episode for my mother-in-law i hope she hasn't been turned off at this point so yeah sorry about that i mean it'd be real sad if next time you go around and she's just like ah you start dropping stories from the podcast and she goes i'll stop listening listening, but I love Toe Pop. It is very good. Well, I can't wait to hear the story next week

about you being in a physical altercation with your father-in-law. That's going to be great. So tune in for that one in seven days. No, in the next week, I'm just going to be trying to pick fights with Greg Evans and weird celebrities. Alright, well Charlie and Will, thank you so much for joining

us. Charlie, thank you for joining us for the first time. Great to finally have you on. People can check out Tofop and Willosophy, Two Guys One Cup. What else? You've got a whole suite of Just go to Tofop.com and check them all out. There's a bunch of cool Tofop episodes up at the moment.

Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds. And by the time people hear this, there'll be an episode with Charlie talking to Greg Barrett of the original Walking in the Room. So there's some cool episodes over there. And we're all part of the one big podcast festival happening later in the year, the Great Australian Podcast Festival happening in Melbourne in November

at the Palais Theatre. You guys are on the same bill as us. We have not done a live show. What did we work out our last show? Four years. The Opera House was the last one. The Opera House, the one that we're not allowed to mention. Oh, yeah, sorry.

We're not allowed to mention that it was at the Opera House, but it was near the bridge on a bit near the water. Oh, that's right. We weren't allowed to either. That's right. Yeah. The dirty little secret. Contractually forbidden for mentioning the venue that the show was in.

We were actually going to edit out a lot of fat ladies singing in our one. So, yeah. All I would say is James Fosdyke would have really liked to know that before he started drawing the poster for the show. That's all I would say. Oh, no. No. Oh, that's all I want to say. Oh, no. No.

Why was that? Why weren't we allowed to say that that time? I never worked that one out. Have you heard this? Told we weren't allowed to mention. I feel like to the Opera House, having a podcast in is like that equivalent of that sex partner someone might sex partner someone might have where you're both strange this is fine for us but let's not ever tell anyone else about this right i like to go slumming on my weekends with my husband's away but this is nothing yeah yeah yeah this is what i'm in a very happy relationship with opera yeah this is what everyone everyone except for me uses Thailand for.

Now I get it. Right, okay. Yeah. All right, guys. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. I'll see you, mates. Shit.

And they've done it again. Oh, boy. Have they ever. Right off the laces, Bernie's done that thing where you block out the sun by making a little handmade sun visor out of your own hand. Oh, yeah. Yeah, just seeing that ball get smaller and smaller into the distance. Charlie Clawson, a great example of the squeaky wheel getting the grease.

He went on his own podcast. He trash talked us. He told mutual friends of ours that he wanted to be on. And then lo and behold, 564 episodes later, dreams come true. Yeah, that's how you do it, guys. If you're any big time celebrities out there, that's how you do it. I. If you're any big-time celebrities out there, that's how you do it. I know there's a few of those out there. There's a few we've heard back.

Oprah. Oprah has sort of been making a lot of hints without going direct. So, you know, one of these days we'll probably get around to that. That'll probably pay off. Ellen. Ellen was dropping some pretty big hints about wanting to be on, more just with her general behavior and how she treats people. She wanted to replace me as the host, so I think that was it.

We noticed, Ellen. We noticed, okay. It really caught our attention down here at Talkin' Dumb Dumb HQ. But, yes, hope the Tofop super fans enjoyed that. Great to have Charlie in for the first time. Great to get emailed his file straight after the recording and then get a follow-up email saying, my memory card just died and I've lost the file,

so I hope that that transfer came through. Wow. Wouldn't you know it, it had come through. So great to – just a really great baptism by fire into the first week of Zoom, into this new lockdown for us. Jesus Christ. That was a really close call right there.

Very briefly, are we going okay? I can sort of hear myself coming back through something on your end, Tommy. Is that okay? Can you? Yeah. No? It's okay from you? I think we're okay. Okay.

That's all right. Very, very faintly. It's okay by me. Very faintly. Anyway. Maybe you can hear yourself through my headphones. That might be it. Maybe I'll turn my headphones down.

That might be it. That might be it. I'm recording from my new setup at the Masturbatorium 2.0. Okay. Yeah. No. Fun episode. Good to finally have Charlie on.

And yeah. And also good to get massive friend, Hall of Famer friend of the show, Will Anderson, back. Heaps of fun and, yeah, really, you know, a good Zoom episode to kick off the next, you know, 10 or 11 of them that we've got coming up, obviously. So, ooh. Yeah, this must sound insane to any of our international listeners um oh by the way happy freedom day to our uk listeners but uh we uh yeah we look a year ago we were really maybe a bit over a year ago even at the start of this year we were we really

beating our chests and flapping our wings but but wouldn't you know it, our government had a big old ace up the sleeve with just a big turd on it in place of where the regular ace symbol would be. Yeah, look, they did the right thing to start with, which they made sure that we were an island, so that was good of them so that the virus couldn't get to us. Yes, yes. Good for them for keeping us a continent by an island continent, not connecting us to Europe or Africa or any of the Americas. I think that was, you know.

Shout out to the tectonic plates for doing their shifting all those years ago. They probably, they've been the most effective bit of coronavirus prevention in this country. They've been overworked. They're due a day off or two. They've done a lot of the heavy lifting. Look, they've done the heavy lifting.

They're putting their feet up. They're taking a rest. Yeah, yeah. And then our government took care of the rest of it. And by take care, I mean fucked it. So, yeah, good stuff. But anyway, for our UK listeners, enjoy Freedom Day. And I'm assuming that you're allowed to somehow listen to this show

through your ventilator. Hope it's all going well over there. Seems like the perfect plan. Have you heard about this app that they've got that's like their new thing? Because even if you are vaccinated, if you have it, you still have to isolate for like 10 days. And it's just basically like it's a contact tracing thing that just this thing goes off on your phone

if someone has it that you've been in contact with. But they're finding all these problems with it where like it can't detect like walls in buildings. So it'll go off and it'll ping and say like you've got to isolate and it's like, no, that person that has it is on like the other side. Like I haven't come into contact with them. The app just thinks I have because geographically I'm close to them, but that's not me in a venue.

There's like 10 walls between me and them and we've had like no communal area contact. So it's like this app is kind of like, you know, telling people that they have to isolate when really they don't. I'm probably butchering the story, but who gives a fuck because it's something that's happening in the UK and fuck them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But look, enough talking about governments and people that don't know what they're doing and people are stupid and people who are liars. Let's shift gears entirely and do Talking Gibbo. Yeah, enough talking about the fake man-made coronavirus and let's get into the very real brain and ovarian cancers of Bill Gibson in our irregular segment, Talking Gibbo. That's it.

Now, we both watched the new BBC made special of Bill Gibson last night, didn't we, that was aired on Australia's national network, the ABC. What was it called again, Tommy? The Bad Influencer. Not to be confused with The Bad Impressionist. No, no, no, no. Wow. New cameo account for me.

Weirdly enough, this aired in the UK just after we started doing, almost like the same week that we started doing Talking Gibbo. I reckon we started doing this on the show, and then that following week we got a whole bunch of posts that this had just been on in the UK. It only just aired here. It took a little while to come over here in spite of the fact that it is about an Australian person.

It's like it was 1997, having to wait a few weeks for something to come out, make its way. Yeah, yeah. But I do like, you know, a little bit of context for people if you're listening to this for the first time, but Belle Gibson, the notorious cancer shyster, said she had cancer, made a big bunch of money off, you know off cookbooks and apps and stuff like that. Turns out she didn't even have a speck of it, just made it all up. And this special was sort of examining – I guess the reason it was made – you can tell it was made over there in England.

It was pretty much the majority of her, a big bunch of it, was just talking to people in England that had taken notice of her lifestyles. They got fooled by her. Yeah, they got done by her. Which is not what I was expecting because you wanted to do a commentary of it. But you've read the book of Bell Gibson. There's like a lot of the details of it that I didn't really know. So I kind of wanted to just like watch it and take it in. I thought it would be a bit more of a full kind of expose.

And it definitely went into things, but it was only 45 minutes long, so it's a very brief doco. And, yeah, at least half of it is taken up with these British women who talk about how they completely changed their lives based on what they read in Bell Gibson's book and just how betrayed and hurt they felt. It really feels like maybe it was in the works and the British team, like making it figured they'd be able to come over to Australia and do all

their interviews here. And then they couldn't because of COVID. So they had to just find whoever that they could down at the park, eating twigs and go like, you look like you're into wellness. Is this related to Belle Gibson at all? Look, I totally get it because, I mean, the thing of it is when you look at Belle Gibson, you go, well, why is this so bad that she's lied about having cancer?

It's like, well, the reason it is so bad is because it has influenced other people, that's why, because other people have then got off chemotherapy and then copied what she did, which is a thing that absolutely does not work. So I get it. But it did seem a little bit weird that it was like, you know, for a moment you're a little bit patriotic and go, oh, wow, you know, the English were copying our Belle.

You know, we really do have a bit of influence overseas. Yeah, nice one. She's like our, you know, Pat Cash going over to Wimbledon. This was our bill bell gibson seeping through into the english consciousness and fucking their country up as well it is it that was interesting like i didn't really realize how um how much of a of a global platform that she had like i didn't realize that she had that much kind of influence and notoriety outside of just australia so that mean, that was interesting to see.

But what I did like about watching it, because I watched another documentary right afterwards called Assassins, which is about the two women who assassinated Kim Jong-nam in an airport a few years ago. And it's, I kind of loved, it made me think of like most docos, if you go in and you don't know anything. Was this Bad Bitch Monday last night for you in your lounge room? Yeah, it really was.

I mean, yeah, there's kind of a lot of parallels there. I would really recommend that documentary. It's great. But it made me think of like, you know, yeah, if you watch a documentary and you don't know the story and there's like a subject matter who is not in it and there's a possibility that they may have died you know sometimes the filmmakers actually have that person interviewed in the film but they hold off on showing them until later in because you know there's a part of the story where like

they may have passed away and they want to assume that people watching it don't know the story. So they want you to be hooked in and to genuinely not know as it's unfolding. So I was just loving the idea of someone watching this bad influencer documentary who doesn't know the story of Belle Gibson and they're just seeing all the file footage of her talking about her brain cancer and then seeing that she's not been interviewed in the documentary and just assuming like, oh no, I guess the brain cancer killed her. We're going to find that out. That's why she's not been interviewed in the documentary and just assuming like, oh, no, I guess the brain cancer killed her. Like, we're going to find that out.

That's why she's not in it. Someone just hooked in from the first like five minutes of the doco, no idea what it's about, no idea of the story. They're just along for the ride. Yeah, fortunately for her, she's alive and well and ripping off African people now in the suburbs of Melbourne. So, yeah, that was an interesting thing towards the end of it. I haven't read that anywhere, but they said apparently she's working

in a school somewhere. She's a teacher. Yeah. Yeah. That is – that's crazy. That can't be real. That really – that can't be real. Now, I watched it with my wife last night, and she didn't really,

she didn't know heaps of the story. She knew some of it, but she didn't know heaps of it. So she was right into it. And then the same thing. The only time we talked during it was right at the end where we both went, she's working in a fucking school. What? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. a fucking school? What? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That can't be true. But that was kind of my problem with it was that it was like, it was pretty surface level. And like it, yeah, it bailed out of the documentary bailed at the point where it's, you know, because as we've talked about on Talking Gibbo,

it's kind of everything after that that is really interesting. It's like, well, what do you do next? Once you've been exposed. I wanted to hear more stuff about the Ethiopian church and all that kind of shit. Yeah, yeah. And you know what? She's sort of in a position like Sacha Baron Cohen.

She's trying to do Borat again. It's like you've already tricked the world with Borat. You can't just go on, walk down the street with Borat again and pretend that you're from Kazakhstan and, oh, what's going on sort of thing. It's like we all know. So now it's – yeah. This is her Ali G character getting into the African community and, you know, things like that, I guess.

I just think it would have been great to see like if they had have, yeah, done another – like another 15 minutes, half an hour, where they go into all the Africanrican church stuff and then showing someone just showing like a white person in the uk who's dressed up in all the african garb like the the headdress and all that kind of stuff just being like yeah i mean she really got me in and she you know just seeing her post about all the african church and stuff that made me as a white person feel like it was cool to do. And then I find out that she's not even African. And it's like I just feel really betrayed.

And like I changed my whole lifestyle because of her. There was, I don't know, there's so much fertile ground there. And I feel like they really did themselves short by ending it at 45 minutes. Ignoring the chronological correctness of this, do you think Chris Lilley could have got inspired by her in some way? Oh, that would have been great. Yeah. Get him in as a talking head.

I loved the whistleblower dude from Margaret River. Great get having him in there. That was awesome. Absolutely. Now, look, I felt like there's – is there a bit of a stampede of people to put their hand up to go, I was the one who figured out she didn't have cancer is it i feel like there's there's a there's a few whistleblowers now i feel like

there's a few on the scene that were like no no no i'm i'm pretty sure i was the one that that figured out by looking at someone who's in absolutely rude health that she didn't have brain cancer yeah exactly and especially when they play there's like some clip from i can't remember where it was from exactly but she's like yeah i've got five cancers now they just told me i've got two more in my ovaries and you know in my breasts and it's like you just the way she's describing it and the way she's talking about it and it's like it's been years and she just keeps racking up new cancers and then there's a bit where she's like she's talking to someone off camera and she's like oh no that one's healed now yeah and they're like oh when did that happen she's like the other day so it's it's really it's like yeah any journalist who's like i don't know man i just

something something really uh something really didn't seem right to me it It's like, yeah, no shit. I don't know. I mean, I started to look at Clark Kent and I thought, you know, if he took his glasses off, I mean, yeah, I mean, something's clicking upstairs for me there. But you know what? When she was filming that bit that you're talking about, that was actually a one-on-one with a publisher at Penguin in Penguin HQ.

That's internal, right? Yeah, that's the internal video. For anyone who didn't see it, it's when the app and the book have been really popular and the publishers sense that the tide is maybe going to turn on her. So they do this kind of like, it's like an internal media coaching kind of thing, right? Where they sit her down and they videotape it

and they just kind of give her like like a kind of like a mock hard questions interview where it's like let's let's just run you through the sorts of things people might answer so that you can get your you know so that you can be braced for it yeah what i found funny about that was i filmed something very similar for funny buggers for the book funny really yeah yeah yeah because it was at the same office it was penguin books which is what Funny Buggers came out through. Me and her co-authors at around about the same time, like not that far apart from each other. But so hers is like media training for them thinking that, you know,

the jig is up and you're going to get sandbagged. Like what did they think was going to happen with you? I think they were like, well, there's a lot of stuff in here that isn't funny. How are you going to defend it if you're in interviews? Like this stuff by, you know, Nick Capa. I mean, is this even a joke or does this work on stage? And, you know, how are you going to defend it? And, yeah, so very similar.

But, no, I really did film some stuff, like I think in the same room, where I can't even remember what it was for because it wasn't for, like, publicity or anything because they didn't use it. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's just for internal use. So it's, like, you know, it's funny that Penguin have just given this tape over. But also, like, yeah, it kind of reads as, like, a, you know, that thing of just, like, getting that.

What's a good example? Like, Scientologyology they'll make you go in and like confess every like bad thing that you've ever done so that if you ever turn on the church they've got this like you know they've got this record yeah is that penguins version of that it's just like i don't know go on carl tell us what you really think are some of the shit jokes in this book so that if you ever if you have a publicly trashed penguin they can just leak it and ruin your life. Yeah, what do they call that with Scientology again? An audit.

It's called an audit. That's what it was. An audit. It's collateral. It's basically, there's lots of different versions of it. I've forgot that fact, really. The fact that, you know, as part of, I mean, that's our two connections. That's how we're able to do this show.

We're able to do Talking Gibbo because you are a fellow Cancer. You've got the Cancer angle. I've got the, I'm a stable mate. I'm a stable mate of Belle Gibson, you know. Yeah, right, right, right. Put out a book through Penguin. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I kept making jokes throughout it and just saying, like, what a dumb bitch and all this stuff. And, you know, I was, like, ragging on the woman who did have cancer. And it was just very great because it's like my girlfriend looking at me, horrified at me, going, I had it. So I'm allowed to say whatever I want during this documentary because as an actual survivor, I find what she did appalling slash very funny.

The rest of us can't say the C word, but you can. So, yeah yeah because you am one i did love i mean you're right about that guy the um the whistleblower that's like yeah i mean i'm sure there's dozens of people like that but i did love him his his research involving him digging around on a skateboarding for him and just heading down to the sale yards in melbourne where the hidden camera'spped to him yeah yeah he found he found out he exposed her by finding her work as like a 18 year old on a skateboarding forum and and basically it was like well she didn't mention having cancer then i think i've

got her it's like wow of course that's where you're definitely just in between people talking about doing ollies and kickflips is like you you if you didn't mention brain cancer then you definitely don't have it i think it's the most like um it's the most uh like uh fascinating character trait to me the the compulsive life the person like when he finds her on that skateboarding forum and she's on there from a few years ago and she's just one of her posts is just like yeah guys just had open heart surgery and um actually died on the operating table for three minutes and uh yeah anyway i just came out and now i'm posting this and it's like it's just that mentality is just fascinating to me totally what goes through the head like it's it's of all the like that's monstrous character traits that exist that's my that's the one i'm that's monstrous character traits that exist that's my

that's the one i'm most kind of obsessed yeah i mean that's what makes this story it's it's not you know it could be anything it didn't have to be cancer but just someone who's that who's come out of that massive lie who's been world famous for this these lies and then has rebooted and and started it again like it's just insane yeah yeah um i love when she's on i think it's like sunrise or something they show like one of her like early early um tv interviews that she does and they're like and the female host is like and can i just say you know for for currently suffering for brain cancer you're looking fantastic and just her reaction is so funny she's like yeah yeah yeah she's pretty stoked with it yeah because it's like it's so backhanded it's like i'm not saying you're hot

i'm saying for having brain cancer you look great like that's that's kind of like for a dead woman walking you don't have it it's like but uh yeah being interviewed by friend of the show, Andrew O'Keefe, right there in that interview. Yes, exactly. Well, I mean, let's, you know, not on the main feed. Let's try and distance ourselves from that if we can. Bonus friend of the show. But yeah, hey, check it out.

It's on, I believe, it'll be on iView for a little bit in Australia if you didn't catch it. The Bad Influencer, it's also, I think it's on, I believe, it'll be on iView for a little bit in Australia if you didn't catch it. The Bad Influencer. It's also, I think it's on the BBC, whatever their thing is, the iPlayer or whatever it's called. Quick little 45 minutes. It's not too much of an intensive time suck. And, yeah, it's got some neat little details in there

that as someone who has become more fascinated with it, kind of post all this, I didn't really catch it all as it was unfolding. I'll lend you the book. It had some good details, yeah. I just wish it had been a bit more thorough. Like I think a feature-length thing where they weren't focusing so much on the British women that got sucked in would have been a bit more interesting. This is what I found from the book.

It's called The Woman Who Fooled the World or something like that. There is a fair bit of – it's sort of woman who fooled the world or something like that it's um there is a fair bit of like it's it's sort of the same as the the doco in that there's not a lot of detail out there for them to use because weirdly enough her family and friends clammed up once it happened it's like why why not just hand her up she's she's done some absolutely rotten work what are you sitting there like not talking for like give her up oh yeah two more things i loved i loved when they talked to the friend of hers like the old friend from school who didn't who was a rarity yeah who didn't yeah who didn't want to be shown and but then they

they just had all these like while she was talking they just kind of had these like extreme close-ups on parts of her body that if you knew her even vaguely, it would be so obvious who this person is. It was like this very like – I did – I was watching that bit and thinking, is this even her or have they gone, right, let's just film someone else. Let's use someone else's voice. We'll close up on some other person. I don't know.

Because it's – like you said, it's stupid to not – to use those close-ups if you don't want to be known. Well, it's just such a, what happened to the old standard of having the person sitting in front of a window with light streaming in and they're just in silhouette and then the voice modulated kind of scream murderer style. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also loved a bit of the whistleblower guy just throwing Apple under the bus

where he – I think it was him where he said he tried to contact them, Apple, about it, about the app. And about whether they did any fact-checking and they were just like, to be honest, we don't really care as long as it's a good app. Yeah. Great. Great. What a quote.

You don't know how many Angry Birds died in the making of that app. They could not give a fuck as long as the app works. I have to say I've been inspired by the whistleblower and I think I should set my own targets. I'm going to investigate you, Tommy, to make sure. You've been saying you had cancer for all this time. I haven't seen any proof of it. It's all been you bragging about having cancer all the time making millions of dollars doing solo

comedy festival shows about having cancer it's like i think i think i'm going to be the cancer comedy whistleblower here from now on within within talking gibbo i'm going to have another sub podcast uh called finding chemo and it's going to be my deep investigation into Tommy Daslow. Well, I actually have a newspaper clipping from me being in the newspaper from around that time that I had lined up. I was going to bust it out for a bit of Cancer Corner, but we're now in lockdown so maybe we can sizzle this for next week maybe i'll take a scan of it and i'll do screen share with you when we do this

next week and you can read through it well it's like it's an article about me just after i'm better and it's but then it's it's just written in a very funny way my dad brought it around the other day like a photocopy of a newspaper clipping from back in the day. Great, great. Well, I'm sure I'll run into it in the next couple of days with me being balls deep in the archives of newspapers around the world in my research to expose you

and bring you down, Tommy. So, yeah. Because it is, that's the thing though, like if you lie about a medical thing, that's kind of what makes it so genius is because like, no one can access medical records outside of a of what makes it so genius is because like people no one can

access medical records outside of a patient so it's like it's that's kind of what makes it the perfect con is that it's it's impossible that's what this guy's saying is like you can't verify it like you even if you were just to go like i'm gonna call like every hospital and doctor i can possibly think of that would have treated her. It's like they can't tell you anyway, even if it is true. It is. And it's the thing that you're most scared to second guess or ask about because it's like imagine saying that to someone who doesn't have it. No, you don't have cancer.

Yes, I do. No, you don't. It's like it's the fucktist thing. It's the biggest social faux pas there probably is. So, yeah. It'd be a great Curb Your Enthusiasm storyline. Larry's just watched The Bad Influencer. He's downloaded a VPN and he's watched it on the BBC iPlayer.

And so all of a sudden he feels like he's very attuned to people faking cancer. And then he's out and Richard Lewis is like talking about how he's changed his diet and he was feeling really sick and he's turned it around and Larry doesn't believe it. Yeah, yeah. The stuff writes itself. Perfect, perfect. Yeah, yeah, that's great.

But like we know people, getting back to sort of the pathological lying element of it, I mean, there's someone we know. Weirdly enough, in comedy, there are some sociopaths, there are some pathological liars, believe it or not. There was a comic, remember, Tommy, that made the perfect lie where he went overseas. He said he was working for a major network a major tv show like a world famous thing moved overseas for it and and you know look i was the i was the the i'd like to

think i was a minor whistleblower because i remember everyone going oh wow because you know why not believe him but i was just like this is a bit weird and i said i said you watch the date in three months like that's that's the sort of visa you'll get like he was like i'm moving over there i'm moving there i'm going to work on this thing i've got a record deal i've got this i've got that all these crazy things do you want to say are you is there a reason you're not saying what what it was have you forgotten or are you deliberately trying to not say oh well i don't mind either way it doesn't matter you can say if you want. Because it's just such a funny detail.

It was writing on the show American Dad. Yeah. Which is just like, again, it's like in the pathological lie thing, it's like that's just such a perfect detail because it's not saying like The Simpsons. It's like everyone knows it, but it's like not quite like absolute top tier. Yeah. The Simpsons, it's like everyone knows it, but it's like not quite like absolute top tier.

Like it's kind of – it's sort of – it's very well known, but it's still just obscure enough to be believable. Like it's not like the main biggest thing. But there was a lot of different stuff. Like The Sand was moving all the time with this guy. Like it was that. There was a mention of Family Guy as well. There was a thing where he was signed to the same record label as Dane Cook. But then it would double back and all of a sudden it would change

and then it would all of a sudden be like, oh, yeah, I'm going to meet Dane Cook and he's going to put in a word for me. It's like, hang on, a week ago, weren't you signed to his record label? Like it was all over the joint. I love that as like a climbing the ladder thing. Like, you know know i've been offered this job on american dad obviously it's not the one that everyone wants but i'll pay my dues there and i'll climb the ladder and then one day i'll be writing a family guy like they'll

notice me yeah and then and then mcfarlane himself is gonna shuffle me up to the main show yeah and and so then when he came back like three months months later, like almost to the day, I was at a gig and he turned up and it's like, that's amazing. Like exactly what I'd predicted had come true. Like I was stunned. That's the amount of time that you can stay in the States without a working visa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Three months where you can be a tourist. And then you can come back and it resets.

Yes. So I was stunned. And so we were at this gig and he came back and someone just said to him straight away like what are you what are you doing here i thought you moved so you moved to america because you had all this work and you know you'd made it and all this sort of stuff and he just goes like straight away just went yeah my mom has brain cancer and then everyone was like yeah no further questions great no further questions yeah we were we're about to ask what's going to happen with Brian and Stewie this week. Yeah, so then I saw him. My mum's got brain cancer. Holy crap!

Well, that explains the quality of those two cartoons, actually. You know, if that's hereditary and you've got it as well, and you're coming up with the ideas for that show, that makes sense. So he then did the rounds, and I saw him at a couple of different gigs and people would say, what are you doing here? Brain cancer, mum, brain cancer. And then I reckon like three months later, he must have been gearing up to go back or something.

And I very vividly remember someone saying, someone having not seen him for the three months that he'd been back for and then just go up to him and go um oh no someone having having heard that story i should say because they came up after three months and went hey how's your mom and he's like fine and she's and they were like but but but what about the brain cancer and he's like what and just i don't know whether he'd just forgotten his own lie or whether he was just jedi mind tricking and then's like, what? And just, I don't know whether he'd just forgotten his own lie or whether he was just Jedi mind-tricking and then just like cleaning that story,

you know, cleaning the slate of that story or what. But it was, he just ended that story there and then. It was fucking bizarre. Just that arc over. Damn, shout out to him. Yeah, just like, I think he got influenced from South Park where it was like, you know, sure, Kenny's dead, but he's back the next week it's like sure my mom had brain cancer last week but now she's she's fine different episode yeah i mean yeah he's he's i mean he's writing

on family guy so he's influenced by that it's like yeah peter griffin fights that giant chicken gets all covered in scratches and cuts and bruises and then the next scene he's fine yeah yeah yeah just another cartoon that that uh the writers of Family Guy have ripped off. Yeah. All right, we've got to wrap up talking Gibbo for this week. So, yeah, thanks for joining us. Shout out to the BBC. Check out The Bad Influence if you want a little quick 45-minute doco.

But, yeah, if you want an excellent doco, check out Assassins. What about this? What about this, Tommy? Don't read anything about it before you watch it. It's a great story. What about this, Tommy? So as the final nail in the fake coffin of Talking Gibbo this week, how about we – when we went to America, we drove through America years ago,

and we did a bit of a stop in Austin, and we did a bunch of photos out the front of the houses that had been used in Friday Night Lights. Now, I think we can track down the house of Gibbo. And how about we go... You can find pictures of her out the front of her own house online. What if we go and get some pictures out the front of Gibbo's house? That would be cool, I reckon.

We could do that. I mean, we had a listener who, we were talking about it last week, who DM'd us to say that they live next door to her. Did we get the coordinates? No. Did we get the exact address? No. I mean, we could get it from this person.

Yeah. No, no, no. If we get the exact address? No, but we could... Well, I mean, we could get it from this person. Yeah, yeah. And if it's inside the five kilometre radius for one of us. Yeah, I mean, we wouldn't want to break the rules unless we're inspired by the targeter.

That would be a great one for you to be in the paper for getting a huge fine for breaking the five kilometre radius for breaking the lockdown rules. That would take the cake of the guy driving like 15k for butter chicken last year to be like, you know, local idiot fined for breaching COVID restrictions to get a photo out of cancer shyster's house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get sprung just to see.

She walks out the door and I go, quick, quick, Gibbo, get inside. Let's root. You're my bubble buddy. Please, please, let's have sex. Get me out of this fix. Just do your best and start lying. Start lying about your situation right now. How old would her kid be now?

Oh, the kid would have to be just about. She had the kid pretty young, right? Nearly double digits, I'd say. I reckon at least because she had the kid would have to be just about nearly double digits, I'd say. I reckon at least because she had the kid before all that stuff, before launching the app and stuff, didn't she? Yeah, yeah. Because the guy talks about that, like she's talking about that on the skateboard forum.

So that's like pre all that. Yeah, the kid must be like, yeah. I mean, that's got to be rough. Yeah, yeah. must be like yeah i mean that's that's got to be rough yeah like yeah yeah what if what if you i wonder if you like if you can break out of it and be like yeah i fucking hate my mom she's she's a piece of shit for doing this or you know some of those people they just become they're so they've just heard the story so much that they're just like they're fully bought in they're like no it was a media beat up like what if what if she's in school teaching today and she's like a teacher's aide, I assume.

I assume she wouldn't be a full-on teacher. So she's a teacher's aide and the teacher of the class just wheels in the TV and the VCR and everything and pops in the show from last night. The Bad Influencer. The Bad Influencer. Yeah, or if she's like back in the news when her house got raided and she's popping up on Behind the News. Yes.

It's just the teacher just chucking on BTN and they're showing Belle Gibson's house being raided by the drug squad and she's just in the corner of the room at the time. And that's the teacher's threat all the time. Like, Belle, do you want to go and get me a coffee? I'm not here to get you a fucking coffee. No worries, we'll wheel the TV in. All right, all right, I'll get the coffee. Okay.

No worries. All right, all right. All right. Well, we've got to move on. We've both got big days ahead of us. We've got heaps of stuff to do out there in Melbourne at the moment. And again, smooth segue from a woman grifting people out of their money dishonestly to our Patreon read. Two absolutely very different things, of course.

If you go right now to patreon.com slash little dum-dum club, you can sign up and you can get two bonus episodes every week, two bonus mini episodes with great guests. Done a lot of great ones of them lately. People are really enjoying them, so get on it and feed yourself some extra content. And most importantly importantly go into the drawer to get your name read out in this segment which you're gonna say at random from the unplanned title alternator most importantly we get we get paid out of it that's how that's how we make money

out of this podcast so if you're in lockdown if you're one of those you're one of those lucky people that um somehow uh are in lockdown you've been affected by this whole situation, but you've still got a job and you've got a good little wicket there. If you own Amazon, if you're even earning more than you were before, if you are Jeff Bezos, chuck in a few shekels, get into it. That'd be great.

Do the right thing. All right, let's crack on in. Let's find out. First cab off the rank. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Liam Thomas. Ooh. Okay. The old double first name.

Yep. The old my first name being used as a surname. Not into it. Right. Not into it at all. Slander. Do not like me coming up the rear. Yeah. No thank you. Oh. Right. Not into it at all. Slander. Do not like me coming up the rear. No thank you.

Oh, okay. Liam, male backwards. Any thoughts? Liam. Not really. Yeah, okay. Liam is one of those names that I think to other, you know when you see other nationality sort of names

and you go, oh, that's a weird one out of that. I think Liam would be seen as a weird name to anyone else. To anyone who didn't speak English. Yeah, it seems like a weird name to me. The two L's, yeah, I can see that. Yeah, I mean, it looks weird even if you do speak English. The two L's, it's L-I-A-M. Oh, right.

Oh, yeah, okay. I feel like I have seen it spelt with two L's. But you know what? No, it's got that vibe. I completely agree with you. It's got the vibe that it should have two L's. It should be double L-I-A-M. Yeah, it's got a phantom L in there somewhere.

It feels like you want to go and scratch the second L, but it's been amputated. That's it, yeah. My name used to be Liam and then I chopped an L out and now I just see that second L everywhere. I keep going to spell it with two Ls and people go, what the hell are you doing? Your name only has one L.

Sorry, I'm traumatized. It's actually kind of a brain injury that I have where I can't get my brain to realize that there's not an L there. Yeah. It still feels like people are taking twice the amount of time to pronounce the L on my first name. It still feels like that. Sorry, I just can't get over it. I can't remember the last time I met a Liam.

Really? Yeah. There's one in comedy. There's one in comedy. There is too. But I haven't seen him for a while. But I mean, I've known him for a little while. I mean, like met.

A new one. Met a new Liam. A new one. And also like, yeah, I don't really see him around often. What about this? In the same way that your name's Thomas, but you're most colloquially known as Tommy, what about Liam Tommy?

Can you go with that? We've talked about this before. Yeah, if your surname is a is a first name that has a yeah that has that kind of a nickname are you allowed to just do that i think you should be yeah it's a lot catcher because it's like it's on the birth certificate it's like yeah my parents called me thomas because it's like well that's you know they they knew they were just going to call me tom but it's like well that's the full version of it is Thomas. We'll put that on the birth certificate and then presumably he can do what he wants.

Maybe he'll at a certain age decide he wants to go by the full Thomas or he can chop it up, do whatever he wants with it. The surname should be the same thing. You should be allowed to do whatever you want. Can you flip that idea around the other way where you go, you know, the old way of doing things is to name your kid Thomas and then they've got the option to call themselves Tommy. These days, you can call your kid just straight Tommy.

Just fuck off the old school way of doing it. Just go straight with Tommy. That's it. That's on the birth certificate, Tommy. Can you then go, actually, I quite like Thomas. My nickname is going to be the proper noun. Can you go back the other way? I'm going back the other way.

Right. So if you had kind of like hipster parents who were like, no, no, no, on his birth certificate it says Tommy. I think that'd be acceptable. And in fact, probably a thing that would happen. Right. Like the kid would probably get to a certain age and be like, fuck you, mum and dad. Yeah.

I'm going by Thomas. That's my way of rebelling. I'm going to go all pride and prejudice on your ass. Yeah. I'm going to go back. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going by Thomas. That's my way of rebelling. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to go all pride and prejudice on your ass. Yeah. I'm going to go back. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

there you go. There you go. Liam Thomas. That's a feel free. If you to, to walk around with it, with the, the name Liam Tommy and let us know how it goes.

What about William Tommy? What if he extends the first name back out and then he shortens? William Tommy. William Tommy. Yeah, I like it. I like it a lot. Yep. Done. Thanks, William Tommy. Thanks, Will Tom. Can you then go the full way and just change it into Bill? All of a sudden his name's

Billy Tommy. It's gone from Liam to William to Bill to Billy. Billy Tommy. Billy Tommy. Yeah, I like that. Done. Done. I knight thee. I dum-dum knight thee, Billy Tommy Billy Tommy yeah I like that done done I knight thee I dum-dum knight thee Billy Tommy

thanks Billy thank you very much to to gee to Patreon subscriber Christopher Axiak

Christopher Axiak Axiak have you ever heard of such a thing A-X I-A-Q. Say that again.

A-X-I-A-Q. That's his last name. Axiak. Does that make any sense to you? Is this legal? None. No. I think this is a malfunction in the UTA.

Oh, right. First time for everything. Yeah, okay, of course. Yeah, sorry about that. This seems like the unplanned title alternator version of Tilt. Right. Where you're just banging the side of it. This is an error message that's come up.

Have we done all the names you can possibly do? And this is a sign. It's just spitting out things that don't make sense now. It's run out of actual names. Random letters. Right, okay. Have this, boys. I just Googled Axiac. The first thing that comes up is a Maltese carpet shop.

And by that I mean genuinely a shop in Malta that is selling carpets. Oh, right. Not like you can buy in Melbourne some Maltese carpets. Well, I couldn't tell if you meant like Maltese-style carpets or a carpet shop run by Maltese people. Well, before you run out to buy any, it is permanently closed, Google Maps tells me. So sorry about that. Apologies. All right, I'll just have to stick to Solomon's. It is permanently closed, Google Maps tells me. So sorry about that.

Apologies. All right, I'll just have to stick to Solomon's. Yeah. It's so funny. Like Solomon's is one of those brands that it's just like, it's so funny to see

that they still exist. They've still got the little mascot. Like I drove past one the other day. They've still got like King Solomon riding a magic carpet as their logo. It's like, it feels like the tide should have turned on this one by now like they're still still out there representing that in 2021 there was a great there's a big misprint uh a big big change in uh

glenferry road uh my local digs there was a big carpet court and oh yep yep and uh the other day they uh they put new sign writing out the front and uh that's that was notable because there was a big old misprint in the old one that was there for years and i would always look at it on the way past and like take pictures of it and send it to people that you know that that knew anything about graphic design go that's and just go just take a picture of it and send it to someone and go that's you that's your work you did this yeah great yeah did you see there was a uh a list of um uh corona exposure sites in victoria i think yesterday and they'd like the little graphic that they put up on social media they misspelled richmond it's like that's got to be that's got to be devastating for whoever in the office right one yeah but it's like i saw people just like roasting it that's like i don't know man like it's like that's your local

coles you should probably go and get tested like i think you're focusing on the wrong part of this graphic yeah uh no i don't go to coles rich almond yeah i won't be getting tested yeah yeah oh that's uh yeah that's the wrong spelling. Oh, you're a real idiot. Are they still, are Carpet Court still rocking the Carpet Court jester? Another great carpet chain mascot. Yeah, it's a little bit subtle, I think, around my way. I don't think there's anything on the front, that's for sure.

I haven't seen the ads for a little while, but, I mean, it is an odd one to have sort of like a Ronald McDonald of carpet where, you know, you're not selling carpet to five-year-olds. You're not – You get the kids invested. Yeah, yeah. It's like how many kids go, Mummy, Mummy, we need to go to carpet court, not any of the other carpets because we want to see the jester.

Okay, no problem. No no worries but they are but but yeah i mean um uh solomon's had the uh the had the um the the mascot they had the guy on the magic carpet yeah why was it all carpet chains were like we need we need a mascot what was the what was the link with carpet that was like we need it is it because like rugs and carpets are like so boring i reckon just have like a bit of that bit of the floor on an ad you need to like jazz it up a bit a bit of that and also probably carpet companies like who's making a new carpet company they're all from the 70s they're all from like ages ago so no one's coming up with a new carpet and going all right we need this is how we're going to structure our business it's all people from the 70s they're all from like ages ago so no one's coming up with a new carpet and going all right we need this is how we're going to structure our business it's all people from the companies

from the 70s so they've had those logos like back then everyone thought oh we need a mascot we need a logo we need we need this sort of thing so all those sort of things are probably carried over from 40 years ago i reckon well so there's that and then there's that and then there's also like the fact that they kind of – that both mascots seem to kind of exist within the same universe because you've got the king, Solomon, and then you've got the carpet court jester. Yeah. So I wonder if it was like the carpet court jester was first

and then Solomon's went, well, we need a mascot that outranks this cunt. Right. This is how we're going to assert dominance in the industry. Yeah. We're going to have our guy be the guy who's got the carpet court jester on the payroll we're going to have the guy who's like ordering him in this is how we're going to show carpet court who's boss i thought maybe it might be a bit of like the the bloke on the flying rug was first and then it was like yeah there's a lot of a lot of racist customers that want carpet but don't want to

buy anything associated with the Middle East. Can we have something a bit more genteel? Can we have something from England maybe? And that's where they've got the jester from. Or even the fact that just like the carpet court jester is like, he's for the people. It's like people can't relate to the king. It's like this guy's sitting there, he's telling everyone what to do.

It's like, you know, the carpet court jester's more in line with the common man you know he's just he's just out there trying to earn a little bit of a bit of a come in for a laugh and a rug you know a curry in a cupboard yeah that's what's happening there um but yeah christopher axiak i'm not really sure what um Something there. But yeah, Christopher Axiak. I'm not really sure what you could have possibly copped in your life with that name. Axel. I certainly don't know what to do with it. Axel Rose.

When you've got an X and a Q and then three vowels, it's a fucking wild mix. Yeah, there's a lot going on there. You haven't got one normal consonant in there. Yeah, you fuckhead. Lift your game. Whatever's going on there. All right, well, thanks, Christopher. Thanks, Chrissy.

Thanks, Chrissy. Axiak. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Alistair Watson. Ooh, la-dee-da. From Axiak to the most English name of all time. It's very tough sounding. Yeah. Very high society.

Yep. Alistair Watson. Yep. Straight off the Orient Express, surviving the murder. Sucked off Miss Marple and here he is. That's it. Alistair Watson. Generations upon generations of inbreeding in the Watson family,

and then we meet young Alistair. That's the number one pick-up line for the Watson family. Watson, I presume, and just rooting another Watson. Yep, yep. They've got their own Tinder, but just for people with a surname Watson. Yeah, you don't bring the radius in by kilometres. You bring it in by branches on the family tree. Yeah, yeah.

Royal family Tinder. Now, there you go. There's a good – There's a sketch. There's a funny fella's sketch for you. There's a sketch. Yeah. Yeah.

Man, I meant to say like I said that said that on the show, what, last week, on the normal show last week, but that should be a Funnyfellas character, which is a magic open mic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So some conspiracy theorist, some idiot open mic, some bloke who doesn't wash properly um just just coming out as a stripper and just bombing as a stripper doing five minutes of new and like you know bringing out with a notebook out in the strip venue and like reading off the notebook and going okay i might try some

new and just takes off his socks on stage he goes yeah that was oh yeah that was new yeah yeah yeah maybe start stripping sitting on the stool like trying to go trying to go um oh yep you know like louis ck style or something takes his shirt off and on his chest he's got written and then my dad fucked me yeah yeah just like a hack like really bad open mic yeah yeah kind of stripping i think we've talked about this before but if you go to enough like open mic competitions you realize that like very new comedians are like always obsessed with the idea of incest. Yeah.

In the sense that like every, I went to one not all that long ago that was like all these people doing like their first gigs and it's like all of them had at least one punchline that was like them fucking their mum. And like literally them going, and then mum sucked me off. And just people in the crowd like, oh, it's like, why is that like the, like I get that like trying to be taboo or whatever and not to be like prudish or whatever,

like obviously like be as gross as you want. But when it's like you saying I've committed this disgusting crime, it's like that's not really what being taboo is. That's just like, that's just like really fucked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And especially when you've heard this horrible act happening four times within half an hour

at this open mic night as well. Right. Yeah. So there'd be something like that in magic open mic. Yeah. Um, yeah, no,

I don't mind it. I don't mind it. It's, uh, is it a bit too highfalutin for the, uh, for the funny fellas? Oh, look, I, no, I don't mind it. I don't mind it. It's, uh, is it a bit too highfalutin for the, uh, for the funny fellas? Oh, look, I, not, not if Magic Open Mic was, was doing, then my dad fucked me jokes as he's taking his clothes off. There you go.

I think. Yeah. That's the secret element. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah. Uh, thanks. All right. Thanks. Um, Alistair Watson. Yeah. Thanks. All right. Thanks, Alistair Watson. Thanks, Alistair. We better keep going with these, actually.

Crack on. Thank you very much. Yeah, yeah. Talking Gibbo went a bit over time. And I mean, look, the boys at Little Dumb Dumb Club kept it pretty tight this week. But unfortunately – No, they didn't. Oh, didn't they? No, they didn't.

Oh, didn't they? No, they didn't. Oh, damn. Okay, well, everyone's fucked us this week. Everyone around us. All of our co-workers. There's been a super spreader event of sticky feet this week. Well, there you go.

There's a bit more from Magic Open Mic. It's just a stripper staying on – Oh, he does too long. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah all the women have already already all the women have already come in the audience he's still doing helicopters with his with his dick like after half an hour it's like the magic's worn off mate like we get it uh the the the dave thornton or the or the Lemo of male stripping. So, yeah.

Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Amber Jennings. Have we had a Jennings before? I don't know. It doesn't ring a bell. I mean, look, it's the sort of name that would absolutely not ring a bell to me, to be fair, because I have no the sort of name that would absolutely not ring a bell to me, to be fair, because I have no connection to that name in any way. It wouldn't stick in my memory.

I mean, yeah, we're slightly different generations. So for anyone my age, you think of famed children's author Paul Jennings. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. He has a great series of books that were the inspiration for the Round the Twist television series. Well, look, you know what? I'm of the age and the ilk of, yes, enjoying the books when he first started, but being a bit old for Round the Twist, the TV show,

and stuff like that. Round the Twist, yeah. Yeah, I would say. But he enjoyed the books. Yeah, they're all the same stories. His books are great. They were great kids' books in the sense that they didn't talk down. They were kind of weird, kind of fucked up,

and you'd read them and you'd feel a little bit uncomfortable, but that felt cool. It's like, oh, this is strange stuff what's happening here. You know what would be cool is if – well, not cool, but interesting and fucked. You know there's sort of a bit of a run at the moment of cartoonists, like newspaper cartoonists getting older and going from left wing to right wing and just being old cranks and being fucked in the head

or falling off balconies or whatever brain injury they're getting in whatever way. But they're going from, you know, your natural way of leaning as an art in any form of art, is generally left. And for some reason these cartoonists are just going right wing as they hit their 60s and 70s. It'd be good if these children's book authors all of a sudden kept putting these books out for like four and five and six-year-olds

and they're just all the characters in there are wearing red caps from now on and, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, don't. The election was rigged. Because Paul Jennings' books were all kind of had a similar naming convention where they were like – what were they like? Unreal, unbelievable.

Like they all started with un. So what would his – what's like – what's the right wing – what's the old man right wing version of one of them? Unconstitutional. Unconstitutional. version of one of them like uh unconstitutional yeah and that guy he always had like the same illustrator do all the covers like the kind of very detailed like pencil drawings yeah so it's just like some kid's like eyes like exploding and he's wearing like a maga and he's just yeah he's just looking at Joe Biden getting sworn in. And he's like, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you ever – I think this is probably like late period Jennings. This is probably – you're too old for this. But The Gizmo, were you reading Paul Jennings when he was a member? I'll tell you what my year it was. I think there were three books that came out that were like unreal, unbelievable. They all had those.

And then the fourth one was like Quirky Tales. And I remember just being in grade four or something and going, he's fucked this. Like, you know, you've got the run of three. You know, you've got this is your brand, Geno. You know, the descriptive, the unbelievable, the sort of exclamation mark at the end of the title. And then you've just gone with this weird sideways move into quirky tales. No, this is not you.

Quirky Tales is like first draft title idea of like the first book he's ever done before he's like, oh, I'll call it Unreal. And then I could do like Unbelievable for the next one. That's the publisher suggestion right there. Just, you know, pop out a few more of your little quirky tales there, you know, and he's just gone, fuck it, I've got nothing else. That's what we're going with. But he had a series called The Gizmo. I think he did like three of them and The Gizmo was like this little

kind of orb that in – different character in each book, but they would always find The Gizmo and the gizmo from memory it basically it would kind of like um it would kind of like fuck with you it was this like little robotic thing that like would make your clothes disappear and you know so you're at the pool and then you're naked in front hang on hang on i think it was like i think it basically it could prank you but it could also i think if you oh man someone's gonna correct me you, but it could also, I think if you, oh man, someone's going to correct me about this, but it was basically, it would always start with like the main character being tormented by the gizmo. And then they would like work out a way to make the gizmo kind of work for them. So like a kid that's bullying them at school, the gizmo would then sort of like prank them instead, I think.

But it was basically like, what is this fucking weird thing that's following me around? I can't get rid of it. And it's like ruining my life um it's like if you're thinking i don't want this to happen then the gizmo just kind of like makes it happen but so if paul jennings goes right wing and reboots the gizmo and it's just basically like it's just on the screen of the gizmo it's just like covid is a hoax right stuff yeah yeah great okay man. Man, this is – is he still pumping them out? Is he still doing kids' books or is he retired on his round-the-twist millions? Yeah, I saw – let me look him up because I did see –

I got like a sponsored ad for like a realestate.com.au thing recently that was like about how he'd sold his house for a lot of money, which just seems like a, seems like kind of a weird thing to be promoting. Right. Where is it? Paul Jennings.

He, yes. Yes. He's put out a new book. He's put out a memoir. Right. Untwisted, Story of My Life There we go Damn I might read that

He seems like a cool guy Right Well Personal life Let's check At the moment Until he veers right Jennings first married

Aged 22 He has six children And is a great grandfather Is he actually That says right wing to me A very good grandfather Or Does his grandchildren have kids?

Now you are a dad. There we go. That is some incredible dad stuff. Thank you. What's the last thing he wrote? I don't think he's written. Yeah, I mean, I think he's just done this memoir. Oh, no, he's still got some kids' books coming out.

Okay. Don't Look Now, The Unforgettable What's His Name Paul Jetting's Unreal, The Ultimate Collection 30 stories in 30 years The box set That's awesome Oh no, it's like a best of Paul has personally selected 30 tales from his entire collection

To mark the occasion of the 30th anniversary of his first book Dan, that would be a great gift for like a nephew that's just started reading or a niece that's just started reading or something. Yeah, but do they want a book where it says, oh, the best of the 30 years? It's like, oh, Dad, I don't want the Rolling Stones of fucking children's books. I want the new shit. I want the new breed of books where everything has something to do with someone doing a big old fart or something coming out of a fucking bum or whatever it is.

Or even better, some fucking comedian looking to try and make a few bucks and popping out a first draft of a fucking idea and making a children's book in lockdown. I'd love to know. I mean, I think, I don't know. I think they're pretty, I think his stories are pretty evergreen. Yeah. Who knows?

Maybe someone out there has, maybe someone listening has a kid that they've introduced to Paul Jennings and they can let us know whether Paul Jennings still tracks the youth of today. Has he still got it? Has he still got it? Yeah. Or is there a lot of, you know, stories he's got these days with genies popping out of a Fanta bottle

and them having three wishes and the kid, all three wishes is to get rid of Muslims. Is it going a bit like that these days? I would like to read his memoir, but it is making me think of when I was a little kid, my dad read Roald Dahl's memoir. Oh, yes. He was always trying to get me to read that when I was young. He was like, oh, it's so good.

Boy and going solo, you've got to read them. And I was always like, why do I want to read about this cunt's boring life when I can read his other shit about chocolate factories and witches and peaches and big giant cunts? Dad's like, no, he went to the war. And I was like 11, so I was was like i yeah i don't give a fuck i mean now i'm sure i'd love it but like yes i reckon i copped a bit of that as well i think the people the teachers at school i was gonna say the people at school they're called teachers

yeah that's who they were um they i think they tried to force boy on a little bit early it's like yeah not in for the autobiography at this age quite yet. Sorry, guys. Yeah, pretty keen on basically one step up from cartoons and that's all I've got in me at this point. It is a good move, though, if you're the children's author. Like you go from, yeah, it's like Peter Coombe playing the corner hotel. Yeah. Yeah, grow with your audience. You get them hooked on the witches and then you go,

here's all my stories about meat and the miso. Yeah. Check it out. Well, anyway, Amber Jennings, that's you. Yeah. That's your dad. Yeah. Paul may have transitioned into Amber.

Who knows? We don't know. Thanks, Amber. What if Amber was actually a relation? That would be the ultimate twist in this little tale um all right we've got time for one more we are we are going long officially going long i i am going to leave this recording and go and get uh go and get the jab so uh all right i'm gonna go uh i gotta i was gonna go today but i gotta finish editing the app i might go tomorrow yeah yeah all right well i'm not going and and say give me all you got and

they'll be um they'll be running out tomorrow so uh fill me out good luck uh i'm holding out until actually i was gonna hold out until they make one that's more risky than astrazeneca okay i i want i want to guarantee that it's going to fucking wipe me out. There's no better vaccination than being six feet under, if you ask me. That's what I'm waiting for. Well, disease can't live on a dead person, you know. Exactly. I think, can I say this?

Can I say that the new, i've been socially isolating for years the new one of that is the people that get the jab and then go i've got 5g now is that is that the new one uh i can't say i've seen all that much of it i've seen it a couple of times but definitely okay i i haven't i haven't noticed it as much but it don't yes you're it has all the same hallmarks in that it's like it's it's the easy one yeah for sure it's the it's the joke someone made a long time ago and everyone's like well i guess we all do it now like jesus christ we get it we get it um so i'll be i'll be popping up on instagram and making a joke just like that later today where are you

where are you heading to where are you going to go get it done Wuhan I figure you know they made it they made it

so they can fix it it's like amnesia on TV you just get the whack in the head and then the whack in the head fixes it

from the same sort of way yeah it's like yeah you want to get the you want to get a pizza in Naples yeah yeah yeah exactly exactly, exactly. That's the birthplace.

All right, one more, one more. I don't want the vaccine to get cold. I want to get there while it's still piping hot. Yep. So, all right, one more. Okay, thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Oh, okay., one more. Okay, thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Oh, okay. Right, okay.

Yeah, look, this is slightly, slightly, look, there's a couple of things weird about this one. It relates back to something we've been talking about, actually. It's a very weird coincidence. But also, it's a bit weird in that usually we have people subscribe. This seems to be some sort of product endorsement. It says here on The Age that while you've been talking, they've run out of vaccines. I know.

Damn. I guess we keep talking until next week when they fill up again. So this is weird. This is not a person. This is almost a product endorsement. Okay. Anyway, I guess all I can do is just read what it says here. Thank you very much, too.

Astonishing comedy. The new book from Paul Jennings. Yeah, right. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, yeah, great. Okay. I would have thought given that it was on this show,

you'd say uncomedy, but anyway. Okay, right. Well, sure. Look, as Paul Jennings is getting older, he's obviously not as good at this as he was before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. He's gone a bit quirky tales. He's pulled the wrong lever there.

Yeah, so go out there and get astonishing comedy. It sounds great. There's a funny little tale in here where someone, where a little, like a seven-year-old boy goes and gets the vaccine. And guess what? He then gets 5G internet in his brain. Oh, wow. Pretty cool twist, huh?

Yeah. I mean, I would be, the internet is so bad in this new house that it's like, yeah, if that was true. Like, I think I hate seeing new house that it's like, yeah, if that was true – like, I think I hate seeing that joke because it's like, don't tempt me. I'd love to have fucking 5G coursing through my brain. Yeah, yeah. If I got some kind of good signal in this house while we're having to do shit over Zoom, fucking nightmare. Yeah, yeah.

Well, get your girlfriend all vaxxed up and let her be the guinea pig and come home and upload the ep in two minutes rather than an hour. Plug her into the laptop. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks, Astonishing Comedy, and thanks, everyone, for listening. Thanks, everyone who supports the show.

Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub. Get yourself two bonus eps every week. We will see you next time. See you, mates. See you, mates.