The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 567 - Merrick Watts & Scott Dooley

Episode Date: August 11, 2021

This week we're joined by NYC's SCOTT DOOLEY and the SAS' MERRICK WATTS! Merrick takes us through the sordid history of his outside broadcasts for commercial radio as well as his current drinking schedule during lockdown. Meanwhile, Karl's been drinking in the streets and getting hooked on the Thai vlogs, and we grill Merrick about some incredible rumours that we've heard about him, including his intense training for filming SAS Australia! PLUS there's an exciting new development in Talkin' Gibbo! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Scott Dooley and Merrick Watts. We have some live shows scheduled in around the place, littledumbdumbclub.com for tickets. You can come see us in Brisbane, Perth and Melbourne. Get on the website, keep your eye on the socials. We're in the process of rescheduling some things and you'll find out ASAP when that's going to happen. And of course on that website, there's plenty of merch. There's t-shirts, there's stubby holders, there's hats, there's all sorts of crazy crap. So have a good old scan through the URL, littledumbdumbclub.com.

Dot au, maybe? Yes. I don't know. No, not dot au, just dot com. Sure. We beat the American arm of the Little Dumb D Club, to the OG.com address. So check out all that stuff. We'll be back to talk to you more at the end of the episode

about our Patreon where you can support the show and get bonus episodes every week. Quick disclaimer that this episode, Carl had his audio recorded by every tech that we've ever had at a live show. They broke lockdown to come around and help him out. But, yeah, look, it's all right. You'll get through it.

And we'll talk to you more about that at the end of the episode. But until then, enjoy this new one with Scott Dooley and Merrick Watts. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. And with me, as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, Dickhead.

We've got two very special guests joining us today. Please welcome back into the program Scott Dooley and Merrick Watts. Yes! Back into the program. Make it sound like we've had a bit of a slip-up. We got out. We were out of rehab for a while. We went to a party. We had a slip-up, and we're back into the program.

Back in your steps process. Now, first step is content. Bring some content. Merrick, thank you for joining us on this beautiful Sunday morning here in Australia. The three of us, we're all locked down in this country, and so we've got nothing better to do but do a podcast on Zoom. And meanwhile, live from New York, it's Saturday night.

It's Scott Dooley. It's 8 p.m. Nothing on the social calendar. Thought he'd come home from the bar and do a podcast. This is more of an intervention than a podcast tonight. Sorry, Matt. But get the diary out and put something in it for fuck's sake. Jesus Christ.

I was saying to Tom before, I didn't even have to think twice when he said, oh, sorry to do it. Can you do 8 o'clock? Fine. Fine. And then I can't tell you how many people I've said, I can't on Saturday night. I've got plans. I'm busy. I'm busy. Oh, yeah.

Even in lockdown, if someone messaged me and said, do you want to do something online at 8pm on Saturday? I'd go, not on your fucking life. I've got a bath and a Netflix series that are just calling my name at that time. It's very nice of you, Dules, when Lorne Michaels rang up before and said, can you pop in and do a bit of guest host? We've got Radiohead as the musical group, but we really need a bloke up front. And you've said, no, thanks, got Dum Dum.

I got Dum Dum. I've got to do it. I want to see him get to 600 before celebrating the 500. So I need to help push it along. There we go. There we go. There we go. Yeah, Dools, you could be out there living it up.

You could be walking around the M&M store. You could be doing whatever you want. So this is something I did want to say. I'm broadcasting live from the M&M concept store. Oh, right. And what I was thinking is for today as a bit of a treat because I'm not in lockdown is I might go to some other – I might broadcast live from some other places around Times Square

if you don't mind. An OB. A bit of an OB because I want to get to Bubba Gump's Shrimp Shack, which is where I met and married my wife. So it's going to be nice to get back and see the guys. Merrick, you would have done plenty of OBs over the years. Have you done any stupid locations? Oh, I've done them all.

I've done shopping centres. I've humiliated myself in so many locations. Train stations, done a few train stations. That's always good. You know what I love? Ambivalence and poor time needs. At the same time, you go to a train station and there's two reasons why they don't care about your existence so you just go unreal unreal these people don't know who i am and are

not interested in connecting because they've got lives to lead but here i am yeah at five past six in the morning during winter because my program director said you know what you need contact with the people you know what you need to do, Tiger? Stop wearing that fucking leather jacket. That's what you need to do. So how close to the tracks are you broadcasting? Are you telling an anecdote and getting heckled by the 815 to Morty Alec? I'll tell you what, there's a few times I wish I was broadcasting on the tracks. It's pretty depressing.

Also, when you're broadcasting, are you using the notoriously great-sounding train station PA? Because that's a... I remember, Wotsy, you did... They had this thing... I can't remember what it was, but radio is, as an industry, just a bandit for this, is they get terrified that people will realize that they're listening to the radio in a year that starts with

a two so they're forever rebranding it and doing like hey here's a cool thing and we're going to get people from all different radio stations to come together to do a big kind of hands across the water we love this medium and i remember there was one, for some reason, this popped into my head last week, like before I knew we were going to be on this pod together. And what had happened was Kyle Sanderlands had someone on a lie detector and asked a very inappropriate question and he'd been taken off the air. And then the very next day,

they were having one of these digital radios coming to Australia or something like that, and they got all of the radio stars from around Australia to go and broadcast at the same time in Martin Place in Sydney. Does that sound right? Yeah, I remember this clearly, yeah. So they then get everyone together to do a photo, and when everyone's together doing the photo, instead of saying cheese merrick said

everyone say lie detector and created this massive schism amongst all of the radio personalities and like people from the rival radio station to yours mares were like that's inappropriate and like had a go at you is that right like It was quite a bit. A few people got upset. I was working with Rosso at Nova, and it was the launch of digital radio in Australia or something like that. I think we already had it, but we decided to relaunch it in a very typical way. Yeah, it was something like that. Let's relaunch it.

We've got this new thing. It's called the Queen Mary. We're relaunching it. I did that. It was like a whole lot of people got really upset with me. I was just going, I wasn't the one who put a 14-year-old girl on a lie detector. That wasn't me. I didn't do that.

Why are you getting angry with me about something that is... I was just reminding you about it. Yeah. The incident is public domain now. It's open source. I can reference it. I can talk about it. That's allowed.

It's okay. It's a bit weird. Anyway. Open source, I can reference it, I can talk about it. That's allowed. That's okay. It's a bit weird. Anyway.

The irony is that of all the breakfast radio stunts, when you hear we're going to strap a 14-year-old too, lie detector is ironically one of the least offensive options they have. Yeah. Right. Right. 100%. That sounds like the best option. But what's interesting is that

absolutely changed radio laws like literally after that that was a footnote in radio history after that everything started tightening right up like they started going okay yeah that was a real game changer like at the time we kind of saw it

as a pirate I don't think they realised they had to make a law that was, don't ask 14-year-olds on air if they were virgins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do we need a law for this? Is this... Okay, guys, we've just spoken to all the other networks. We've made

a decision universally, and everyone's going to embrace this, okay? So, get on board. We've decided we're not going to stab people live on air anymore. Yeah, that's great. That's the drunk guy in the bar going, you show me in the rules where it says I can't do this. Point to the rule that says that I can't. But it's also making that rule is like laminating toilet out of order.

Like, just fix the toilet. We don't need the sign. I would love, Carl, we should have a month where we treat this show like it's a breakfast radio thing. Let's make some money. Great idea. I love this idea. What kind of stunts

would we be doing if we were a breakfast radio duo? Let's have a month where we just do stunts, stunts to and with our listeners. Let breakfast radio duo? Like let's have a month where we just do stunts, stunts to and without listeners. Well, let's learn from that and let's just like let's get some 15-year-olds in and put them to lie detector tests and ask them about their virginity because we know 14 is off limits. Well, we can just ask Tommy. Let's ask Tommy.

Tommy, we don't even need a strap. What's it? Tommy, what don't even need to strap you in. No, I am not. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Why is there smoke coming out of my computer? It's like a gender reveal party. There's smoke everywhere here. We're live at the train station.

The lie detector has jumped onto the tracks, folks. It's a gender reveal. It's revealed that he's not had sex with either gender. So, yeah. Strictly non-binary for me. That's how I like him.

That's my preference. And also, like them, that's so woke. Thank you. Thanks, mate. I appreciate that. We saved this. Saved this. It's 2021. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Merrick, you've chosen, you've got barrels of wine as your background on Zoom. How are you going now? Like, during lockdown, during all this sort of stuff, a lot of people drink too much, whatever. Now, you are, like, I'm always in awe of you in terms of your fitness regime, yet you somehow look like you're a massive pisshead on top of that.

I don't know how you straddle – It's such a weird thing, seriously. It's like being – How are you tackling that? I won't lie. When I first went into lockdown, that first week of lockdown, I just went, I'm going to drink everything. And I did. I just went, because this will only last a week,

so I'm going to enjoy it. And I was drinking a lot. And then after about a week, I was like, oh, I think this is going to go a little bit longer. Six weeks in, I've decided that drinking every day is probably not the right idea. So, but yeah, look, I'm pretty, I'm actually, I love drinking. I'm right into it.

But I also, too, have pretty strict disciplines around it. So I don't drink, like it's a Sunday, I won't drink today. I'm right into it. But I also have pretty strict disciplines around it. So I don't drink like it's a Sunday. I won't drink today. I never drink Sundays, Mondays or Tuesdays. I drink Wednesdays. Sometimes I'll have something to drink on a Thursday, but in moderation both on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Then Friday and Saturday, I treat myself like a rental car.

It's on. That's what I say. I look at myself like a car and like, you know, pretty much during the week I'm a Bentley. I look after myself like a Bentley. Then on the weekend I'm a Hertz rental car that I can just drive into the ocean. Yeah. Yeah.

Just picked up at Koolingatter Airport straight to the beach. Straight into the water. How do you pick Wednesday? Why is Wednesday the day that you can also go, well, thank God it's Wednesday? Why is it TTIW? With a background in commercial radio, I understand the importance of a pun.

So if I say Wednesday instead of Wednesday, it justifies the drinking. But also, too, like I think Wednesday is... I thought it's like you need a life raft. If you say to yourself there's nothing from Sunday to Friday, it's like that's too long. You need a day there in the middle for yourself. Yeah, absolutely.

I would have thought that was – It's appointment-setting drinking is what it is. I don't really drink much. I'll share a bottle of wine with my wife and that's it, and that would be all that I would have. That's very much in moderation but the fact of the matter is i come from a long line of pretty serious alcoholics and not like bad alcoholics not the sort of alcoholics that uh want to hurt other people they just want to destroy their own livers and that was the case right yeah yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. Funny ones. My dad's great. My uncle and my grandmother was a massive pisshead

and used to start drinking at 11 a.m. Would just start drinking because she was old and that's what she did. So I'm pretty aware of it, pretty cautious about it. So I trained pretty hard the other days when I'm not drinking. And then on weekends, like I said, know eat i eat ridiculous food and treat my body awfully it's interesting to hear that you're at the point of lockdown where yeah you were saying like the start of it you you know you're you're into the binge drinking and that's the way of getting through and we're here talking to you um it's interesting to note that you're also currently

at the point of lockdown of having a comedy zoom background that was that's maybe like another week or two for you guys before you're like, alright, the novelty of this is off. It's not funny to be in Jerry's apartment anymore when I'm talking to mum and dad. It's the posting song lyrics to Instagram point of the breakup, isn't it? That's kind of what the comedy Zoom is.

This is how I feel, but through the lens of Nickelback. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Exactly. She'll see this and she'll be sorry. Well, this is how I tackle it.

I feel like drinking alone by myself is not that positive at home. I don't want to sit in my lounge room and drink by myself. I think that's sad. So what I do is I take it on the road. I don't want to sit in my lounge room and drink by myself. I think that's sad. So what I do is I take it on the road. I don't know if this is legal. I don't know if this is okay or if this is sad or if this is a positive spin or whatever. This is what I've been doing.

I've been loading up the backpack full of beer and just walking down the street and just drinking on the street and going, this is fine, isn't it? I've seen you do that. I actually thought that was a really good thing to do. I think it's really quite clever because, you know, you're burning to earn. That's what you're doing. Burn those calories to earn those beans. You know, what you're doing is, I think it's actually referred to as Hakuna Matata drinking.

It's the circle of life. Oh, right, right. Oh, great, the Disney version do you think great do you think carl this is the first time you've become like in your life become you know every neighborhood's got that person that does something weird that you always say hey there's the guy with the beers yeah see that guy see watch him watch him watch him watch him he's gonna get a beer out of his backpack it's hilarious you're that guy. Like there's strangers that know you now.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And so much so that I'm doing this and I realized last night, so I'm doing it and I'm, you know, I'm putting like a dozen beers in a bag. A dozen beers? Just walking along. Yeah, I'm walking along and like the bag is clanking. That's 12 beers.

Yeah. The bag's clanking as I'm walking down Bridge Road and I'm walking along and, like, the bag is clanking. Yeah. The bag's clanking as I'm walking down Bridge Road, and I'm just, like, walking along going, yeah. And I never have a bottle opener either, so I'm the guy that's walking around with the beer, putting it on various edges down and just, like, slamming my fist on the beer bottle. During a pandemic, by the way.

During a pandemic. Like, hey, where's a bin? I've got to put that near my mouth now. Just running around Caroline Springs, just rubbing my food on the ground. Man, the other night I had a walk where I smashed the neck off two beer bottles and just threw them on the ground and was like, fuck! Now I'm only down to ten! Oh, no!

I've only got 10 beers! So that's why there's 12 in there, not because you want to drink 12, but you've got to have a couple of collateral beers in there. It's like you only want to drink four, but you realise eight of them are going to end up just smashed and on the ground. Okay, great. Absolutely.

Great. I mean, instead of planning that, I could also just go and buy myself a beer, like a bottle opener, I guess. Well, you could just drink cans, right? They put beer in cans now. Oh, well, this is all great ideas in hindsight, you know, after the horse has bolted. Thanks so much for bringing these fucking genius ideas in there. Beer are you drinking as well? Because I know if I'm watching the weird bloke with the backpack full of beers walking past my window every afternoon, I'm looking at the beers

because if you're drinking Melbourne Bitter Longnecks, I'm like, this place has gone to the dogs. But if you're having some IPA that's got some fruity, the label was designed by Banksy or something, I'm like, I reckon the property prices are about to go up around here. We've been gentrified. Yeah. Yeah, this guy's actually walking around because he's looking

at real estate while he's doing it. This is the guy who's on it. He's making the most of this pandemic. Yeah. Well, look, Stools, you're a clever man. Come on. I'll give you enough. Take a fucking flying guess at what kind of beer he's drinking.

Exactly. The country of origin. Yes. Have a think. You're not getting around with like a Carlsberg or a... No. Come on. That's Danish beer.

What connection have I got with Denmark? Oh, yeah. Little to zero. Your name's Carl. Carlsberg. That was the only reason I thought... Oh, yeah. Stella? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stella?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stella? Stella, no. Peroni? Come on, mate. Have a think. Look within yourself. Have a think of what little you know about me.

I'm trying to think. And what you think. I'm just looking up Liverpool sponsor now. Have a think. Have a think of. All right, Dules, put it this way. Have a think. Have a think of... All right, Dules, put it this way. Have a think. Someone in lockdown.

Someone who's desperately trying to drink themselves into a stupor and imagine that they're somewhere else. If someone like me, a man in his mid-40s... Oh, what's the beer? The Thai beer. It's Singer. Singer. Very close.

Chang. Chang. Chang. Chang. Chang. Yeah. I thought you were going to have VB because you're a bitter Victorian because of all the lockdown.

No. No. Yes. Come on. Come on. Somehow there's even lower hanging fruit than that on off the bill, so you missed on that one. So, Carl, when you've got the bag, when you're loaded up,

when you've got the dozen beers in there, how heavy is this backpack and is this in – because this is like a combination between – this is sort of like merging Merrick's week into one evening where you've got the hard drinking days and then you've got the training days. You're going out there with the weighted vest and you get a kiss at the same time.

And the quicker you drink, the less intense the weighted vest becomes. It's actually, as a workout, it's really... This is like Merrick in the SAS. This is possibly something he went through himself. Yeah. You do it a drop set. Yeah. It's exactly like that.

But what you're doing, rather than increasing the load, you're actually decreasing the load. So it's actually a very intelligent form of exercise. So I commend you. I think I approve it. It's amazing. actually decreasing the load so it's actually a very intelligent form of exercise so i i commend you i think it's i approve it it's amazing last year during um during the first lockdown uh a mate and i were like you know you can't catch up you can't come within a meter you know whatever of each other and it was all that sort of cape it's similar to now so we had this idea that we would go to we like looked at he's a lawyer so we looked at like he literally went

over and had a look at all the rules and he said i think i've got a plan and it's completely legit he goes you bring six cans of beer i'll bring six cans of beer in a bag we'll meet at a park and i'll bring a football i said we're allowed to kick a football to each other and then we can he said as the refreshment of choice it can be beer he said because there's nothing saying that you can't do you can do exercise and then if you want to rehydrate with powerade knock yourself out tiger if water's your thing do it if you want to crunch six cans in 35 minutes that's your prerogative and that's what we did and it was unreal unfortunately i drove there that was. So I had to walk home.

Well, thank you because I wasn't sure whether I was covered legal. So I'm going to just bring a couple of, like, tennis balls, soccer ball, a hockey stick on my next drunken walk down Bridge Road just to cover myself. There you go. One ping pong ball should do it, just in the pocket. Oh, another sign from home. Another sign from home another sign well you know what so this is this is what i've been doing at night as well so like in my head i'm trying to distract myself but also what i'm doing is driving myself crazy because we can't

go back to thailand or anything i'm watching i've been very much known on this show to watch a lot of thailand webcams no not those sort of webcams. Webcams where they're just outside of venues. I'm just watching people walk down the street. I'm watching people eat at restaurants. I'm voyeuristically just watching people enjoy themselves. Again, not in that way, just living normal life in Thailand. Because they're back, right?

They've reopened like in the last month. Well, this is the thing There's been nothing to watch For a long long time There's been nothing at all To watch It's just like In tourist towns

There's nothing going on You're just watching You know It's like American Beauty It's like Thailand Beauty Plastic bags floating down the street That's all you're watching So

So I've given up And you're Kevin Spacey Not so much in the film But yeah Yeah looking at young girls from the school. Rose petals the whole lot. So I'm not watching.

I've given up on the webcams, right? So I'm now watching, weirdly, I'm now a fan of vlogs. I'm now watching people over in Thailand recording vlogs. I now get it why people listen to this show. They're into podcasts. I'm now into vlogs. It's fucking pathetic. But vlogs, I now get it why people listen to this show. They're into podcasts. I'm now into vlogs. It's fucking pathetic. But anyway, I'm into it.

So I've been counting down. Because this is the hierarchy. People say to you, people make fun of doing a podcast. It's like, what a lame thing to do. And you're like, what's the thing below podcasts that I can shit on? And the answer is there's only one, vlogs. How can I punch down today? Oh, of course.

Yeah, yeah. What are the vlogs about like what are they it's it's people it's people that are stuck or have chosen to be stuck in thailand and they're just sort of doing laps around thailand going check it out this is really good if you guys could travel you should be here now because there's no tourists here fuck this is great fun right this is so good the beaches are so clean this is the best and you know why it's the best because you're not here yeah so that's that's them the entire time this is the angle it's the great irony of tourism is that you know what kills tourism tourists otherwise you know that's that's tourism kills tourism but i can imagine that th Thailand would basically be like going to Disneyland on a day where only this – you know, like the park's kids

or something like that are allowed to attend it. And it's just like there's no queues. No lines. Everything's still open. No lines. When Cartman buys the theme park in South Park. Yeah. That episode.

Yeah. And Goofy's lowering his prices for hand jobs because there's no business around, you know. Exactly the same deal, yeah. I really want to explore Merrick's idea of Disneyland doing a kid-free day where they ban children from the park. Not today, children. Sorry. Our entire business is based around you and your dreams, Not today, children. I'm sorry.

Our entire business is based around you and your dreams, but not today. Yeah, yeah. Let's be honest. This one's just for us. The joyous laughter and smiles just get in the way of the adults having a good time. So we're kicking the rugrats out, and now it's time for the over 40s to have a good time. It's like those shows when the Wiggles go, no, kids, this is just for the grown-ups.

You go, okay, weird, but sure, okay, all right, no worries. But surely we've all been to like a water slide park or something like that, right? You're an older gentleman. You just go, it's still exhilarating, still great fun to go on water slides, but you see kids at the water slides and you just go, you are ruining my time here. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. Mate, if you haven't got your goggles, if you don't know that you're not allowed to wear goggles on the slide, mate, you shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be here. Mate, everyone knows no goggles on the slides. So what are you doing, mate?

Oh, you're seven. You're seven. All right. Okay. Yeah. I've been asking to asking a few of these parks i've i've so i've been watching these vlogs and and the news has been going around they've opened up phuket they've opened up samui and there's been a big countdown and so i'm i'm treating this as my

like treat at the end of the day everyone goes to bed at night either i go out of my on my um backpack drunken walk or i sit at home and i and and it's like, you know, it's like mama wants to watch her programs, her stories or whatever. That's me now. I'm at 11 from 11 to 12. This is your telenovela. From 11 to 12, I'm watching my Thailand version of Young and the Restless. That's what I'm doing. I'm catching up on my stories. I'm watching the blogs and I'm counting down the days where people are putting up vlogs going, oh, it's only this many days to go until Samui's,

Coast Samui's open. I'm like, oh, wow. Imagine. And they're like building up to it and whatever. And so the other night I was literally like. I love how there's no in between. It gets to 5 p.m. It's like, what shall I do tonight?

Shall I drink in the street or shall I watch a webcam? These are the only two webcam? These are the only two options. These are the only two things. So, it's like me living in the country as a kid again. It's either Channel 6 or Channel 8. That's your two options on TV. It's all the rips.

Valorate or Bendigo TV. So, I get to 11 o'clock and I'm counting down the days and the vlogs are counting down the days. It's three days to go until Coastal Millie's open. it's three days to go until Coastal Millie's open it's two days to go until Coastal Millie's open and then I'm and then I'm like getting to the day I'm going oh which one of my vloggers should I watch for the big celebration you know which one's going to have the exclusive which one's going to have the best the real celebration for every job yep are the vlogs presumably from the way you've painted them,

the vlogs are off it. They don't want it to reopen because they're doing it. It's like great because it's not crowded. Yes, but they're like us. They're like podcasters in terms of they need content. There's only so many days in the last five months where they can go, well, let's check out what coconuts taste like today. Oh, fuck, we did that one yesterday and the day before. Dingarod Chang, what do you prefer?

Fuck, we've done that one yesterday as well with the coconut. Right, right. You're looking for content. Things are open. They're, like, great. So I'm, like, literally, like, the night that they open, I'm literally saying to my wife and child, hey, why don't you guys get into bed early tonight?

You know, there's not much on tonight. You might as well. You've had your dinner. You've had your bars. Get into bed. Daddy needs to – oh, Daddy just wants to chill out by himself tonight. You know, I'm like, I can't wait to watch. I can't wait to watch the scoop tonight.

Saying to a two-and-a-half-year-old, why don't you go to bed early tonight? Why don't you crawl in before this normal 6 p.m bedtime why don't you wrap it up about 4 30 today there's big bags under your eyes two and a half year old i think you should you should hit the hay you've had a big one today hey do any i i have only gotten like ironically into vlogging once because they're forever feuding with each other these these people. And have yours had any – they're always getting in blues where there's like – there was one – there was an Australian one whose name was – her name was Freely the Banana Girl. Are you familiar with this person?

No, no. I'm logging in right now because that assaults me. Unless she was in PP Island, I'm not really familiar with her work. Well, she may well actually because she's always in these tropical areas and she's this woman who she became vegan or something and that's her whole identity. Well, this was years ago. Her whole identity is that.

And what she'd do is she'd do these videos where she'd just show you how much fruit she's eaten that day and it was always these like i've had nine pineapples like she'd always eat this like insane amount of fruit and and and she'd film it and it would look like you know at the beginning of biggest loser where they make them eat like just so much food and there's this sweeping shot of this disgusting buffet with like cheese fountains and Mars buzzer. It was like that, but for fruit.

And then she'd go out and she was dating this, um, cyclist and they had this big falling out. And he also had a YouTube channel and there was months where all they'd be doing is setting the record straight on something. The other one, listen, why would I say that to

freely i'm in love already like and all this stuff and they'd have all these fights and it was it was the best thing ever because they were both two complete insane people so i want to know i'm into the vlog fights these guys are more um they're stuck they're basically stuck on the same couple of islands together so they're like constantly running into each other like they're all they're basically stuck in the same couple of islands together. So they're like constantly running into each other. Like they're all doing selfies on beaches going, look at this sunset. And then you'll literally see another couple of vloggers in the background doing the same shot.

Oh, fuck. It's like the Marvel movies. They're setting up one of them in the other one. And then it's like you see them all. The Thailand vlog universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this sunset canon? Wait, what's going on? Yeah, Thailand vlog universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this Sunset Canon? Wait, what's going on?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you see a lot of them and they do inevitably hang out together because they're sort of like, well, we don't really know. There's no other tourists. There's only people who actually were born and live here and we don't speak the language. So I guess we're hanging out with the only other people on the island that speak english and they have the same hobbies and have spare batteries on them that could probably come in useful so you can watch and there is a bit of

tension there will there will be a little bit of like there'll be someone filming something and someone will go oh you're going to use that lens are you and it's like yeah it's a bit of thinly veiled sort of professional jealousy and rivalry and whatever. So I'm watching all of that sort of stuff. And so they're counting down the days and I go, you know what? I'm going to go with this guy. The countdown's like the Avengers end game of the Thailand vlogger universe.

They go for three hours and one of them dies. Can I ask you, I know this sounds like a dumb question, but when you just said it then, Tommy, what is the end game for these people? Do you know what I mean? Is the end game that you do a vlog, do they make money from it? Are they able to make enough money from the vlogs? I believe they do.

So from what I've gathered... No, they just want people to know about the country called Thailand. They're like, someone's got to, we've got to tell someone about this. They just want to be a part of this movement. They're like as if Hoag's had a thrown a shrimp on the barbie for like no money at all. He's just outside the opera house cooking seafood for fucking no cash anyway. Same deal.

But do they make money, Carl? Is it, you know, they're able to sustain a living from it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I think from the look of it between, like, if they get enough hits on YouTube, they get enough advertising. And, look, I'm fast-forwarding through a lot of, I'm skipping a lot of ads, so I hope they're getting fucking paid because I'll be right on the verge of them, you know, trying a fucking kiwi fruit or whatever the fuck,

and then I'm like, oh, wow, this will be great. A different fruit they're going to eat this week. And then I get an ad for Squarespace. I'm like, fuck, now I'm going to have to wait 10 seconds to figure out if the fruit's any good or not. Yeah, all of a sudden you're seeing an angry whopper from Hungry Jack's while you're watching them eat kiwi fruit. Yeah.

What's great is that you already know the flavour of that fruit, but you're waiting to see what they think of that fruit. And they've already eaten it. Oh, absolutely. I've been to all the places, Merrick, you're waiting to see what they think of that fruit and they've already been to all the places merrick they're going to i've been to all the places and i'm still waiting to see what they think about it yeah for sure where where are the vloggers from there's canadians there's english there's um americans there's people there's literally vloggers i fucking hate that i'm watching every day i'm'm seeing their – I hate watching them. I'm hitting up other people going, are you catching this cunt?

I fucking hate this guy. Oh, hang on. There's a new one popped up. I've got to watch it. Sorry. I'll talk to you later. How many of them are white guys with dreadlocks? Oh, no.

There's no dreadlocks, actually. I'm shocked. Can you give us like a profile? Oh, no, there's no dreadlocks, actually. I'm shocked. Give us a profile. I know it's awful profiling people, but I think it's okay when you're doing vloggers. Give us a stereotypical profile of one of these vloggers. What age, roughly? They're mid-30s.

They're roughly all mid-30s. They haven't had a proper job for quite a while. Bit rich coming from the four of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, hang on. You know what? How about I just describe me and Tommy, and then we just pretend we're in Thailand because that's the profile.

Yeah. Because what I love seeing when you were saying before, do they make money off it? When I was going to Europe two years ago, I was looking up some of the areas I kind of wanted to go to just on youtube to find like kind of video stuff of it and you always stumble across the people that aren't doing vlogging as a job but they've decided that they will be able to one day so to get a start you've just got to like go on a trip and film yourself walking around you know paris or wherever and seeing these videos that have like a hundred views and the person is sort of doing it

as an audition tape thinking yeah this will take off and then one day in about a year's time i'll be being paid to go to these places but you're watching it and it's like the camera's just pointed at the ground the person is an absolute vacuum of charisma and they've just got like one video on their channel like it's never taken off. They've flown to Paris with the express purpose of launching the vlog career and it's just never happened for them. It's such a low bar too. I'm subscribing to a new one at the moment

because I'm watching these pro vloggers. Subscribing? You're like committing so hard. I understand. I've learned how to vlog through these guys. I'm like, yeah, I get it. Like the guys I hate, I go, I hate you, but I respect your art. I understand what you're doing.

I hate your personality, but I like the places that you're visiting. Is that it? I wouldn't piss on you if you're on fire, but I'm a fan of your cinematography. So you're a real separate the art from the artist kind of a guy. You'd go and see Bill Cosby. I love Cosby stand-up. Big see bill cosby stand up stand up but yeah yeah yeah i wouldn't piss if you were if you're on fire but i would watch the video on your channel

of you being pissed on while you're on fire absolutely so i'm now subscribing to people that are not not only i hate but their vlogs are terrible as well just so I'm watching them just going, what the fuck is this cunt thinking? Like, this is insane. So it happened like a week ago or so. Coastal Newy opened up and I'm like, right, I'm going to watch the grand unveiling, the grand opening. And they threw this big party on on the beach in Costa Nui, literally the beach that we had our podcast festival on three years in a row. And so I'm watching that and I'm like, you know,

it's sort of a bit nice as well. I'm watching this huge party with all these like hundreds of people and whatever on the beach. I'm going, fuck yeah, this is like us, you know, two years ago, three years ago, whatever it is. And this guy's vlogging all the way through. They've got a tourism minister there. They've got fire twirlersers they're drinking on the beach i'm like

oh man and you know it's that little hint of going oh we're getting back to normal we're getting closer to me going back there and and this guy's like you know doing interviews on the beach and as he's doing the interviews i'm i'm sort of going okay this is all getting a bit samey this is all getting a bit you know you you're interviewing a lot of people to work for these resorts. And it goes on for ages and it gets to the end and the guy sums it up and he goes, yeah, this has been a great reopening. It's been awesome. I mean, look, it's let down slightly by the fact that only six people

flew into Koh Samui today. And it was Scott Morrison and his family. day um and it was it was scott morrison and his family and there was there was this huge party they were all ringings they were all crisis actors so all people from the resorts that were hundreds of people yes there's hundreds of people having this party and i just i all i could think of was like, you know, when you walk down the street in Thailand and you're just constantly badgered, just these poor six people walking down the street and just hundreds of sellers and tailors going, come on, come on in, come on in.

Oh, man, they must walk down the street looking like a fishing vessel with birds, you know, flying behind it. All these guys with Rolex watches and fake T-shirts. You thought you got hassled in Bali and Thailand before. You thought you would hassle them. You've now got thousands of people tearing limb from limb, these six tourists going, no, you need barracuda. No, you need a tuxedo.

No, you need some Beats headphones. Yeah, leaving with like 87 Hangover DVDs because you just get too polite. So this sounds like the plane's touching down and they're like, okay, please welcome to Thailand our first visitors in a couple of years, Veruca Salt, Augustus Gloop, Charlie Bucket and his grandfather. Wouldn't you love to see the cast the cast of charlie and the chocolate factory dancing awkwardly to boom boom boom let's go back to my just it's just thai nightclub mike tv doing a big bucket full of cocktail yeah yeah yeah yeah augustus gloop

getting stuck in the fucking tank that's got the lobsters in it out the back of the restaurant. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, did you get to see the six people who turned up? Did they look particularly stoked? No, I think they'd gone to bed early, to be honest. No, they hadn't. Bro.

They weren't even there. No, you know, they were 100% German sex tourists. They had ponytails and Birkenstocks and they were hitting the clubs. Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, I don't know if you guys have this same thing, but we're so far away from having had any international travel. And my version of Carl's Thailand is Japan. I've been to Japan a number of times. It's the first place I want to go when things reopen.

And I don't know if you guys have had this, but you're starting to, the place that you're really busting to go when things reopen, I'm starting to like romanticize even just like the not very good times I've had in that country. Have you guys had any of that where you're just like, every memory feels great now, even like the best stuff. I've talked about this on the show before,

but the smell of Thailand is an open sewer. And so whenever I go past like a sewerage farm here or someone's left chicken out in the sun, I smell it and go, oh, I can't wait to go back there. What is this life? What is this picture you're painting for us? I'm walking around the streets with beers in my backpack and i'm

telling my putting my kids to sleep so i can watch some person i hate talk about a place that i know better than him and then if i get time i'll i'll drive past a sewerage plant to reminisce a little yeah you're not good plant open my beer on the side of it. Yes. Absolutely. But Merrick, what's that? Do you have a place like that for you where you're kind of dying to go when you can? Oh, look, Canberra would be great. Yeah, look, I mean, I'd love to go back to Vietnam. I love Vietnam.

Vietnam, that's a great country. I'd love to. I was supposed to go to Vietnam. Vietnam is – that's a great country. I'd love to – I was supposed to go to Japan last year because my kids speak Japanese because they're intelligent and like me. But that obviously got cancelled. But for me, it'd be Vietnam. I love Vietnam. I love any country that says, you know what, let's get seven people, two chickens, a pig, and a goat, and put them all on one scooter, and I'll smoke without a helmet on.

Do you know what I mean? That's proper freedom. That's the thing I love about Vietnam is it's a communist country and yet it's got greater freedoms than we do in Australia. It's like, what the fuck did we fight for? Why did we not just join that? We should have gone over there and joined them. Be careful with the F word, with the freedom.

As soon as anyone starts talking about freedoms, I'm like, man, are we on a march at the moment? What's going on? Like, is there a better way, a better word you can use than freedom at the moment? Has Merrick got the comedy Zoom virtual background just to mask the fire twirler and the horse that's behind him at the moment? Yeah, yeah.

No, I don't do that. I'm double vaxxed. I've had the Pfizer. I'm all for it. Well, I think you're going to start to see that. You're starting to have those interesting conversations, and I'm seeing them now with groups of friends with my wife and I. Let's be honest.

It's her friends that are starting to send around a whole lot of anti-vax information that they found. Guess where they found it? Guess where they found it? You'll never believe this, right? I don't know. No, seriously, you can find this stuff now on the internet.

Right. I wouldn't put it up if it wasn't true. Well, that's it. That's what I said. And I said, I think they've got a pretty good case there. I mean, the fact that there has been trillions of dollars spent on research and scientific investment, but I didn't know that you could just actually find the real answers by typing into your machine at home.

So there is absolutely going to be a division. I kind of understand that people are not going to get vaccinated. If you're not going to get vaccinated, I don't care. Don't get vaccinated. I you're not going to get vaccinated, I don't care. Don't get vaccinated. I really don't give a shit. I personally don't want to die from coronavirus because it kills people. It's killing one person a day at the moment in Australia. I copped my first one of them last night.

I didn't think it was going to happen, but I copped a uni, an old uni friend of mine sent me a link to a podcast, Yark, to start with. And I was like, what the fuck is this? And then he's going, and then he sent me a message going, I think you really should listen to this. I'm like, mate, what is it? I'm not going to listen to it.

And he goes, I think it would be really helpful and it would open your eyes and then we should have a really long discussion about it. I'm like, mate, what is it? And he's like, look, you're going to call me an anti-vaxxer, but it's a podcast about how the vaccine isn't good. I'm like, that's literally anti-vaccine. And look, very bad timing for this bloke because he texted me all this information as I was walking down the street with a dozen bottles of beer in my backpack, or considerably less than that by this point.

That was a really, 10 beers down, this is the wrong time to send me anti-vaxxer so he got an absolute fucking tirade back at him but look at look how sad the world has become now that you know people are starting to try and push this kind of gear onto you whether you're into it or not right when only a few years ago your biggest worry was somebody trying to push the secret your way? I've sent you this link to a thing What is it? Oh, it's a secret Is it the secret? Yes, it's the secret. Well, it's not a secret then, is it? Remember when we were worried about people who read

the game? Fucking hell That was a child's life I still think we should be worried about those people I think there's still something to worry about. Yeah, when the worst thing that you'd open from a relative was like, yeah, an email chain that was like, send this to 15 people or, you know, you'll die at midnight. Oh, that's right.

And you'd be like, oh, I can't believe they really believe this. But at the end of the day, the only thing at stake there is just, well, they're an idiot. It's not like they're definitely going to die. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I don't forward this, my nan will die at a nursing home. The stakes become a lot higher there, don't they? Yeah.

There was none of those spam that was ever like, if you don't forward this on, you're going to end up on a ventilator. It was just straight death. I'd love to see one of Carll's favorite uh thai vloggers turn anti-vax and that and that'd be the thing where it's like okay i'm listening you know what you know what i've i haven't yet turned into the person who gets in the comments but that's that's when the debut of chandler in the comments i that's coming i like that i like the idea that the thing all of the heinous shit

you've been looking at on the internet for the last 20 years, the thing that's going to radicalise you is some prick with a GoPro who wants to try kickboxing. Some bloke that stops talking about crab fishing and starts talking about the virus. I'm like, nah, fuck this. Get back into catching a barracuda. You know what?

There was a great kind of, I suppose it was a moment the other day where somebody telling me an anti-vax movement had a crack at me on Instagram anyway. And what had happened is the result, because I'd done some training and I was wearing an altitude mask, which replicates altitude you just put it on it's like a mask and it sets it to an altitude so i set it to say 2 000 meters right it just makes you work a little bit harder it makes your lungs work a little bit harder when you're exercising anyway so i had a photo i put it on instagram and this guy uh hit me up in in the comments he goes what and i said i i said in said in the comments, I said, I've been training a little bit differently.

I've been using an altitude mask to replicate 2,000 meters altitude, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like literally in the first sentence. And this guy comes on and he just goes, oh, sheeple, I can't believe a grown man is wearing a face diaper. A face diaper. That's great. is wearing a face diaper. A face diaper. That's great. Why don't you take the time to look up some information and blah, blah, blah,

like getting stuck into me about not knowing and opening my eyes and stuff. And I just wrote back and said, mate, for somebody who is all about finding the detail and stuff, you missed the first part in the first sentence. Like you're all about reading and finding more information, and yet it literally states in the first sentence. Like you're all about reading and finding more information, and yet it literally states in the first sentence, this is an altitude mask. It's not an anti-vax.

It's not a COVID mask. But it's just amazing that people are so reactive. He just goes, I found an opportunity. That guy's wearing a mask. I'm going to nail him by not reading any of this stuff and then just comment on it thinking what it is. Just trolling the internet for masks. He just found Batman and gone, you're a cunt.

What a man. You're a cunt. Bane. Bane. The worst. Bane is the worst. Now, if we can just shift the focus to this ridiculous mask that you've bought, how much did you spend?

And I need you to be honest. I need you to be 100% honest. How much money did you spend on the mask? This pause is juicy. How much did you spend on a mask to make you, weirdly enough, breathe worse from breathing properly? I was going to say, I don properly. I was going to say. I don't want to catch COVID.

I might wear this mask that simulates my lungs not working properly. Oh, yeah. I'll tell you what, you feel it too. You just go, why am I doing this? It's not comfortable. But it does make people in the community scared of you, mainly dogs. But I reckon I actually found it online and it was about, I think it was about $80 or something like that.

So it's actually not that bad, Dules, because I know. I'm looking this up. I'm calling fake news on that. I would have paid up with $900. I would have paid up with $900. That's exactly right. The first ad I'd seen was for $1,000 reduced to $920. Bang.

You are the lifeblood of so many stupid gadgets. You're the lifeblood of the industry. There's people like Merrick Watts. We'll definitely break even at the worst case scenario. Can you run us through some of the shit gadgets that you've bought

just in the last 12 months? Because I know that if there's some guy that goes, this is a new bottle opener that can aerate your wine, it costs you $300. America goes, well, it's only $300. What's the most expensive bottle opener you've got? Does the head of Demtel live in a gated community because of you? Yeah, I've been buying stuff off Demtel from in a gated community because of you? Yes.

Yeah, yeah. I've been buying stuff off Demtel from the days when it was just on television and you'd ring up. I remember very, very clearly I was sitting at home hungover when I was working at Triple J. So this was like 20 years ago. And an ad came on. I was living in a no-bedroom apartment in Newtown in Sydney, so just like a loft apartment, tiny little thing.

And an ad came on Demtel for a drill set. And I just went, I'm getting that because I'm not a dickhead. Look at that. That was $300 and today it's $65. What am I, a moron? I'm going to buy that. So I bought it. Guess what I didn't have?

A drill. Not even kidding. I'm not even joking i bought the drill set i bought the drill set with the intent to buy a drill do you know how much longer i bought it i was living in an apartment what was i drilling there was nothing to drill i had a drill set yeah still to this day i have got that drill set i use it all the time yeah great you know they never name the like the when you know if someone in the community has the coronavirus they never like name them in the press but if i see in sydney there's like a list of exposure sites and it's just a visit to the sharper image every day for a week i'm gonna know merrick's gotten the virus i am the virus.

Merrick, can I ask this? Because someone told me this a while back. You were into your training. You were on the show, the SAS Australia, where celebrities got on and trained with the big boys. Now, I would assume that you were the most into it. This is your thing. You treat your body like a temple, apart from wine's day, obviously.

But you were the most serious about it. You train really well. Now, I just want to know if this is true, what I heard. And I couldn't make any sense of it, but I love the story, which is why I want to bring it up and confirm it with you. Someone said to me, oh, yeah, did you hear hear about merrick he's training really hard for this sas they're getting ready for it i was like oh what does that mean how do you train for it and the person said um um he's getting his kids to lock him in a cupboard i'm like okay i don't know how

that trains you for anything i don't know how that improves you for anything. I don't know how that improves you. But I love the image of just you saying, Daniel, Jennifer, can you whack me in the larder and lock it? This is helping me. Wait, wait, wait. Do we want this confirmed? I'm so happy thinking this is real. I don't know if I necessarily want.

Let's have a show of hands, right? And I'll be completely honest with you. Show of hands now, out of the three of you, who believes that I locked myself in a cupboard for training for SAS? Not you. Your kids locked you. Well, okay. At any stage, I was locked in a cupboard for training for SAS Australia. 100%.

100%. Comedy urban myth. I am the Fox Mulder of dumb cunts. I want to believe. Yeah. Okay? I put my hand up. I think you got this as advice from your close personal friend,

Ben Robert Smith. And you know what? Didn't you think it was weird when you signed the contract? He goes, you should bury that. Just keep it safe in the backyard. And the contract was on someone's leg as well. That was slightly weird. Look, I will confirm that that is partially true.

Oh, yes. Thank you. Thank you. The only thing that's not true about is that my kids locked me in there this is this is the the incident right that we we know about in my house and in my family uh and it's not really publicly known for obvious reasons but so what happened is when i was training i knew that i was going to have to endure torture, physical deprivation, right, physical and mental deprivation. So I thought rather than wait for it to happen on the show, I'll just do it to myself.

Come on, our podcast. Oh, sorry. So I rang you guys. You guys had somebody else booked. Doolook was in. I went, all right, I'll wait. So then I found this track, this music track. It's an audio track that they use to literally torture people in Guantanamo Bay.

Is it Carl's duck sandwich bit? Is that it? Oh, no. This is where your triple M training came in useful, obviously. Yeah, correct. Correct. It's just Nickelback. It's just into Nickelback. So I got the audio and i made a loop and

it's like really pretty horrific stuff it's like you know chainsaws and screaming and dogs barking and babies crying it's really quite discombobulating so i got that i got that track ready then one night at around about uh probably maybe one o'clock in the morning or something like that i woke up got out of bed um stripped down to just my underpants was in the middle of winter it was cold uh and i went into a storage cupboard in the garage and uh just in my undies and the mask the the mask yes wow yep yep to restrict to restrict the amount of airflow to make it breathing harder because i knew that would be a part of it as well.

It was pitch black and then I put on headphones and I listened to this music and I put myself in stress positions. So I buckled over my knees, arms against the wall, all exactly the same stress positions they use in Guantanamo Bay to interrogate prisoners. And I did this. And you're in your storage cupboard, so you're next to your eight-foot-tall fiberglass statue of the Predator

and your massage chair and bar fridge. And so many pictures of Rossi just right behind me, just to really bring on the fear. And so on there, what's happened, and this is maybe where the kids thing comes in, I don't know, but what happened is that in the middle of the night, Georgie, my wife wakes up and just goes, all right, where is he? And gets up and can't find me.

She's gone all around the house. She starts to get a bit worried. She's going, oh, maybe he's gone for a pack march in the middle of the night. So you haven't told her? You haven't warned her that this is what's going to happen? No. Why would I? How do you bring it up as well?

Hey, honey, honey, don't get up. I'm just going to go and torture myself in the garage. You don't. The follow-ups. Too much. I honestly do. I just thought it was unnecessary detail. I agree.

Don't stress. Don't stress if you see me missing because I'm only probably dead. I don't want you to worry a pretty little head about this. So she gets up. She's looked all around the house, like everywhere. Looked in the kids' bedrooms, thought I might have just gone in and seen the kids have fallen asleep or something like that. Can't find me.

Starts to get a bit worried. Goes to check all my gear. I think she rang me to see if you'd gone on a walk with me to polish off a dozen beers. But no. that's pretty much what i was doing i was at home watching vlogs by then i was well gone yeah oh yeah well so i i uh so then anyway i was in the cupboard and uh in the storage room and it's now like 1am and george is getting panicky and she goes into the garage and for some reason she just comes up

to the door and just thinks this is literally the last place I've looked. And she opens it up. Merrick's always in the last place you look. I'm there like virtually nude with a restrictor mask on, an altitude mask on, headphones on, with my hands in a pressure situation against the wall and I'm buckled over on cold concrete on my knees. And Georgie opens the door, and she just goes,

what the fuck are you doing? And I just turned around and said, go away, I'm training. Do you know what the funny thing is? Is that is the exact way they say you should prepare for Husey, we have a problem as well. It's really weird. But can I ask, Merrick, did you doing that, did you get into the show SAS Australia,

did that come in useful in any way at all? I'm not joking. 100% it did. It actually, it completely saved me. So what happened is the very, very last day. For the Logies. It helped him for the Logies. I was on the red carpet and I was about to be interviewed by Richard Wilkins

and I went, go to your happy place. Just think, think about the mask. Think about the mask. Think about the mask. I, when we were on the show we were captured and we went into interrogation and all that stuff played out and they hooded us, they put a hood over to restrict the

breathing, we were all blacked out it was freezing cold, it was only 4 degrees there and we were being tortured and people break, they just go and understandable too I was there for 6 hours in interrogation and at no stage did it bother me. I've got to be honest because I've done that training.

Isn't there – well – The funny thing is they put the headphones on, on us. Like you're tied up. Like you're literally chained to a wall in a freezing cold room on your knees and you're super uncomfortable and you're in pain. And then they put the headphones on and what comes on is the exact soundtrack that I had made for myself and trained for myself. Oh, wow.

I'd listened to it so many times that when it came on, it was familiar, not frightening. And I was just like, yeah, I got this and that was it. But this is being done to celebrities. Like you're the one freak that's prepared himself. Like what about Anthony Kalea and Jenny Little little and whatever whoever else was getting like tortured surely they just lost their minds straight away look i turned around to dawn phrase i said how are you going dawn and she said i'm smashing this watsi we're home i pictured I pictured you doing all this training and then you get there

and they're like, yeah, Merrick, drop and give me 20 push-ups. And it's like, that's about as hard as you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Wilbur Wilde is like, nah, not for me. Good luck, guys. Well, this is another thing that we heard about you recently, Merrick. It's like that story you told is very harebrained, very intense, in many ways a very kind of insane thing to attempt to do.

But we heard about something that rivals that. Did you try and start up a union for comedians once upon a time? Oh, yes! No, I didn't. No, I never tried to set up anything. But, no, I do strongly believe that it is strange that we're not unionized. I was talking to somebody about this recently. If you look at all the arts, right, there's a jazz musicians union.

Jazz musicians union. Yeah. Scooby-Doo-Dah 42. That's the name of their uh group isn't it yeah that's their click there's every pretty much every arts um subdivision has got a union except for comedy comedy has no union and i i think that one day if we were to unionize ourselves we would be all better off i think it it would be amazing for the industry because comedians are not unionised.

It's mad. Like I said, musicians have unions. Everyone does, but we don't have one. Comedians are the biggest scabs of all time as well. They're going to cross the line. If someone says, I can't believe this, I did a gig the other night, I had to do 20 minutes to 2,000 people, they only paid me $50, the person listening to that goes, oh, my God, I can't believe that,

gets on the phone and goes, I'll do it for $40. So you're not going to get a union. That's the only reason why. That's the only reason why we don't have a union is because we don't have any solidarity. We undercut ourselves. You're spot on. That's exactly what happens.

But imagine, here's the thing that, like, I noted this about, I don't know, five or ten years ago, something like that. But, you know, when I was 21 and I first started doing comedy, the wage that you would get to go and do a spot was about, let's just say for argument's sake, it was $100, right? And pot was $25 a gram. Twenty-five years on on those two things are still consistently the same the money for marijuana and the wages paid to comedians in comedy rooms is

pretty much the same that's probably the issue it's like what are you spending the hundred bucks on yeah yeah and can you tell us who pays a hundred dollars a spot because can we get some gigs i'll do it for 90 Yeah, and can you tell us who pays $100 a spot? Because can we get some gigs? I'll do it for $90. I'll do it for $70 and wear a mask. Yeah, when we hear that the Thai vloggers have unionized themselves, I think that's when comedy will go, all right, this is absurd now. We need to fucking sort this out. Who's going to be our spokesperson?

Who is going to be on the executive? Because I don't want some prick with an arrow through his head representing me at the boardroom table, if you know. Or worse, somebody who does comedy magic. No thanks. Yeah. What you say about the scabs is very true, Carl. You'd be standing there, you'd be looking at the pickup line,

and it'd be impossible to tell. It's like, which side is the good side? Like, there's an equal number of people on either side. Where do we go? Yeah. Someone asked that. The reason that came up is because we were talking about it on a bonus Patreon episode that we do, and we have a little segment on there

at the moment where we try and pick which comedians vote right wing and someone suggested, someone just popped your name up and we went, it cannot be Merrick Watts because he tried to organise a union. You cannot be right wing and organise a union for comedians. Yeah, I don't know. My mum's from Broken Hill, which is where the union started. So, yeah.

Look, don't you guys think it'd be great? Like, I mean, you could have standardized wages and people could, you know, go knowing that they're going to earn some money. Yeah, rooting Pammy would be great. Heaps of things would be great. Don't lock yourself in a cupboard, Tommy. I'll undercut you $10 to root Pammy as well, again. of cover, Tommy. I want to cut you $10 to repay me as well.

Also, have you noticed how uncomfortable this is making Carl, who is the wealthy industrialist of this conversation, while we're his little workers? No, absolutely not. Not at all. Do not say that about me.

He's just waiting for his kid to get old enough to be able to make sneakers. You watch. That kid's not going to be good. Oh, hell, hell, hell am I the person that comes up as the wealthy industrialist

where Merrick has got two dozen barrels of wine behind him in his Zoom window. Oh, no. How am I the guy who does that? Do you know

the most amazing part of Merrick's, the most amazing part of Merrick's, Merrick's torture story is the fact he's a comedian that has a garage. Look at you! And a wife!

And a wife! What the hell? You don't park your car on your lawn. Someone's doing all right. Yeah, but to be fair, do you know how many kids I had to put on lie detectors to pay for that house? It was a lot.

Those lie detectors don't build themselves. Are they more things you bought from Demtel in the middle of the night, lie detectors? Yeah. All right. Well, we'd better wrap it up for another week on the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Merrick and Dools, thank you very much for joining us. Have you got things to plug at the moment, guys?

Yes, unionist movement for the comedians. It'll be great. You've got your big wine gigs that you can plug that will be back at some stage, I'm sure. Yeah, grapes and mirth. Yeah, look, that's what I'm hoping. I mean, also I'm hoping to get out of my house at some stage. Yeah, keep an eye out for that.

But that's Grapes of Mirth. They're a huge comedy gig. They're in vineyards, big comedians. If you just follow Grapes of Mirth on your socials, there'll be something near you. Yeah, I hope so. If not, this business strategy is as flawed as my union movement.

I like how you've turned this into the drunk comedian is your thing now. And we've all been doing it on Tick for years. You're the first one who kind of thought, I should get paid for this. Yeah. Dules, what about you

you got stuff to flag you got your uh podcast where you try and get cartoons in the New Yorker oh yeah we're doing a pod

I've got I actually I'm doing another podcast actually at the moment called This Morning Today which is kind of like it's each morning

I'll wake up and read the New York Times um you know news in brief email they send around and I'll just make jokes about it um so it's kind of cool yeah I New York Times, you know, news in brief email they send around.

And I'll just make jokes about it. So it's kind of, yeah. I don't know if it's any good. But listen to it. It's called This Morning Today. It's so cold in New York today. So cold in New York today. How cold is it? The thing on Donald Trump's head.

Yeah, yeah, there you go. The thing on Donald Trump's head ran away. You know, that's cold. Yeah, yeah, there we go. Paul Schaefer and the CBS Orchestra, ladies and gentlemen, coming up, we've got Liv Tyler and Toad the Wet Sprocket. Paul! All right, guys, thanks very much for joining us, and we'll see you next time.

See you, mates! you next time see you mates and they've done it again oh it feels good to be on a proper uh mic cord again tommy yes this sounds this sound like like um crystal clear water to your ears in comparison uh well not right now because I'm listening to you as we're doing this live through the microphone in your laptop. But when I'm listening back, I'll text you and let you know how it's sounding. I'll let you know if it's sounding good. But you're using a freshie.

You're using a microphone cord that I saw you knifing out of the little cable tie fresh from the shop right before we started recording. Yeah, absolutely. And I'm not using a – and when I listen back to myself, in hindsight, what I've done, it all makes sense. I'm not using what I used in the normal episode this week, a secondhand cord from Brett Blake.

So, yeah. Where did he get a – secondhand from where? Where did he get it from? Well, from himself. Obviously, he uses it himself. But in hindsight, like I said, when I went to return it to him, he said, yeah, don't worry about it. Like, oh, this is a mic cord not good enough for Brett Blake.

That's why I've got this one. Yeah, this was fished out of the bin. But a little extra. So I have had to use the backup recording that I take from the Zoom call. So the quality isn't quite as good as what people might be used to. But I thought I was going to be able to get away with just dropping it in every now and then when the audio from your good mic cut out. And the first little bit of your audio that i used that for was you asking merrick if he did his

train station ob through the um microphone at the train station which sound the whole point of you making that joke is that the audio sounds like shit yeah and so i've had to drop in audio of you that is about the same quality as a train station announcement so it's actually it's actually pretty beautiful art all things considered damn it damn it sorry everyone sorry everyone sorry on behalf of brett blake not on behalf of me i did nothing wrong i all i did was trusted my friend is that so wrong i just i'll never do that again i'll never do that again um it came out it made it made me sound like he sounds on paper that's that's what it's done.

Yeah, it really does. Words missing, words dropping out out of sentences. Yeah, a real jumble there. But, you know, I'm sure people, we're on the other end of the episode now. I'm sure people have found it fine. It sounds a bit weird when you start listening to it, but then, you know, over the course of an episode, you get used to it and it's all fine.

We've had worse audio quality on this show, funnily enough from Brett Blake himself. Yes. Right, right. Yeah, good ep. Once everyone sees past the slight dip in quality of audio, technically wise, it is a funny ep. Do we have anything to follow up off the back of it?

What were we talking about? I was talking about vlogs and all that sort of bullshit. Oh, fuck, you know what's just happened to me? It's actually influencing my volume at the moment. I'm recording this in the bedroom during the day. Our hot water service blew up. So there's currently plumbers installing the new hot water service but a couple of metres away from me.

And when we first got on Zoom to record this, Tommy, I had my headphones out and the first one or two things that you said were extremely blue content and so much so that I was embarrassed in front of plumbers from what you'd said. You motherfucker. This is like people getting angry when they're on speakerphone in the car and it's like, why didn't you tell me your wife was sitting next to you? It's like, okay, I'm going to have to ask from now on

every time we get a Zoom call, are there plumbers present? Is there anyone else on the line? Yeah, sorry. Yeah. Do you think you could get one of them on mic? Not at all. No, thank you. No?

Not at all. No thoughts on see what the tradesmen think about Bill Gibson and cancer? No, no, no. Get them to weigh in on whether or not Bernie's kicked a big one? What about that? If they go on break, I'll see if they want to, you know, just ease off on their sausage roll and chocolate milk for two seconds and weigh in. But apart

from that, look, I don't want to interview them. While they're a big chance of fixing the fact I haven't had a hot shower in two and a half days, I think I'm pretty content for them to concentrate on that. What do you think? Are they, so they're there to fix it or are they there to assess the damage and let you know?

Replace, baby. You know what I mean? The fresh is going in. Are they leaving with it being, the fresh is going in? I was basically for the last two and a half days using Brett Blake's hot water system and now I'm getting the new one out of the bag and it is going to sound beautiful all over my body. What have you been doing just not showering?

I guess it's not all that bad in lockdown. It's like you're not going anywhere. So it doesn't matter if you get a stink going. Doing the old soaping up in the bathroom without any water. Doing a big soap up and then... Oh, a bit of a horse bath. Yes. Horse baths only in here.

Escorts bath. For me and the daughter. Escorts bath. Thank you. A sex workers bath. That's what I've been having. It's a noble profession. Not bad.

It's the oldest profession in the world, as they say, which always beggars the question for me, how did anyone pay for it then? If that was the first job. He's back. I'm back. Getting back up on the stage. There we go. He's ready to go.

There we go. He's ready to go. That's great. I'm treating this like my open mic now. You know what I've been thinking about in lockdown? Welcome to the Comedy of Spleen podcast podcast by the way um it's me me opening up the notebook um but uh yeah it's uh soaping myself up and then running the gauntlet chucking on the cold water and seeing how long i can last in there while i yeah scrub everything off yeah

not not ideal last night i did it at like 11.30 at night and my wife's in bed asleep just hearing me scream in the bathroom. Going, oh, that's good. Yeah. You think it'll be good for you. It's like a nice little wake up, but it's like, it's really, it's fucking brutal. Look, it is.

That's right, Tommy. It's a good wake up, but I tend to shower last thing at night, so it's not great. It's not fucking great at all. Not ideal. Yeah, so it's like, oh, I'm nice and awake. I'm nice and fresh from my lying in bed in the dark with my eyes open. Yeah, that's devastating not being able to bathe in lockdown.

I got up this morning and I had to go to a doctor's appointment, which I felt like I woke up this morning like it was Christmas morning, just in a lockdown, just being able to go somewhere, just having like an appointment to go to. I was like, oh, got up, felt like I was heading into the big smoke, getting dressed, like, oh, how nice is this? Somewhere to go. Got put on some antibiotics that

i can't drink on and again in lockdown i feel like i've been handed a fucking death sentence i am i am devastated by this result oh what's your uh what's your what's your drinking habits at the moment what's your drinking habits in lockdown uh i was i had kind of recalibrated myself after the last one in the gap that we had in between and just be like back off the booth midweek and just having like a Saturday night and have a few. But then you know what it's like. It's like you go back in and there really is no good reason

to not just put away four or five at a time. Watched Netflix with my girlfriend and i was just like started this week like i i was like okay this has got to change got up monday and was like no drinking during the week and then today i went nah fuck that um and then got put on the antibiotics so i think i'm gonna yeah i think i'm on these i'm on these like pretty strong antibiotics for a week so i'm gonna have to have to stick to that. Oh, oh. I mean, it's good in a way, but it's just annoying to know that I just don't have it as an option.

Yeah. You know what I've done? In the last week, so for everyone that's not in Melbourne or overseas or whatever, we're in Melbourne at the moment. We're in lockdown again for another week at least. I hurt myself. I hurt my back this time just going into lockdown.

And so I haven't been able to run. And that's my release at night, me going out and having a big old run. And I am fucking hating it. Just not being able to go out and have a run because I'm still eating. hating it just not being able to go out and and have a run because i'm still eating my justification of eating like absolute dog shit is that i work it off by having having a big hard run and now i'm not able to recalibrate the diet at all and i'm just eating like a fucking yeah demented fucking cow or something and uh yeah not working it off at all and just looking at the scales going two kilos in two days that's not that's not bad is it that feels good very nice very impressive what's your um what are you putting away at the moment i had i had schnitz this afternoon love a schnitz oh having a chance for a long time i just did just then i went for my first run in a

week just then just tested out the uh the. It's a little bit sore still. And what did I get myself? I got myself a takeaway Penang curry and rice with a nice Thai iced tea and doubled it up, back-to-backed it with a cheeseburger from Hungry Jack's and a small chips. Yep. Yep. Nice. That's a good combo. and a small chips. Yep. Yep. Nice.

That's a good combo. And a Hershey chocolate pie. Oh, fucking hell. That's, yeah, I came home after the antibiotics thing and said to my girlfriend, all right, if the booze is off for tonight, new mandate, we're getting something wicked tonight. Oh, wicked.

No cooking. You know what I mean? There's no cooking. There's no cooking tonight. We're getting, yeah tonight. Oh, wicked. No cooking. You know what I mean? There's no cooking. There's no cooking tonight. We're getting, yeah, I'm talking, we're ordering in some edible underwear and we're having that for dinner. Nice.

Why do they stop it? You know, when it's being sexy, why do they have to stop it at the underwear? Why isn't there like an edible dildo? Why isn't there edible handcuffs? Why isn't there edible tampons? You know. Edible dildo. I mean, there's, yeah, Why isn't there edible handcuffs? Why isn't there edible tampons?

Edible dildo. I mean, I was about to say it probably does exist. I mean, there's a pretty good reason that something that you're putting inside yourself is not hygienic to then go chow down on this. But I dare say it probably does exist. I would say more wise like the the edible stuff it's like always chocolate you know yeah like why couldn't you have like um you know like uh cheese and onion flavored edible underwear well you know i'm not much of a sweet tooth i think i think all underwear is probably cheese and onion flavored if you try and try and eat it, it probably smells about the same.

If you're in the Chandler household and your hot water blows up, all your underwear is going to be… There we go, very tangy. …rich in a couple of days. Yes. What about this? This is the other bit of news coming out of our personal lockdown down here in Melbourne, Australia,

is that my big comeback to the playing field of soccer, I'm feeling – I'm back. I'm feeling okay. Regional Victoria has just opened up this weekend, Tommy. Now, we can't get there. We're not allowed to travel beyond five kilometres. We've got a little border in Melbourne at the moment. Yep.

And, yeah, the big game this weekend, Dalesford v Maribor. Because we were going to, we were talking like last week, we were going to go up for it. Yeah. That was the big plan this Sunday. This is the killer thing, Tommy. We're missing out on Dalesford v Maribor,

the two loves of my soccer life. Yeah. Well, I mean, we should say, like, as we're recording this, officially we're meant to be out by then, but I think everyone in the city has just decided that that's not happening. No, it's not happening. So, I mean, the news may still not have been announced by the time we put this up.

Sure, maybe we'll get comments being like, oh, you know, but it's like, yeah, it's just not going to happen. Yeah, yeah. I mean, people in Sydney are still coming down for the game, but, yeah, here in Melbourne we're not allowed to go. So, yeah. So how much longer has the season got left? Not too much longer.

Like, I don't even know. They've skipped so many games because of all the lockdowns that I think it's like, I think I'm assuming it's going to be finals in like probably three weeks or something like that. Yeah, right. I could. Yeah, it needs to be opened up pretty quick. Like, I'm going to start joining some rallies. They need to open up.

I finally found a reason to like believe the virus isn't real. It needs to not be real for my sporting comeback. We'll get to episode 600 before you play this game. That's good. It feels like I've been trying to make my comeback for Dalesford for years. It honestly really does at this point. I mean like since you brought it up we've had like what two lockdowns yeah i've had two lockdowns i've had two injuries yeah it's uh yeah it's getting old quick um anyway so look let's see let's see what happens anyway um update what else do we need

to do update um obviously like you said at the top of the show, live shows, fuck knows what's happening with them. But if you're holding a ticket, hold on to them. We are trying to reorganize everything. It's a fucking pretty hard time in the world to be doing any of this sort of bullshit, but we're trying. So hold on to that. Thank you to everyone who subscribes to Patreon.

We'll get to that as well. But go to our website, have a look at merch. The merch, you know what? The merch content in my child's room, in Blanket's room, has gone down considerably. So we're down to... Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Great. Not too many. There's not too many there. But what I want to do is update our regular segment, which is, of course, Talking Gibbo, which is devoted to all things cancer-free, Yeah, not too many. There's not too many there. But what I want to do is update our regular segment, which is, of course, Talking Gibbo, which is devoted to all things cancer fraud, Belle Gibson. There's been a little bit of news lately.

There's been a TV show about her on TV. You've got the cookbook. Another reason to get out of lockdown is so that me and you can have a beautiful meal based on the culinary experience of Belle Gibson through her cancer-beating, defying cookbook that you now have possession of. Not the original, but a copy of. Yeah, I should actually, while we're in lockdown, maybe I should do a test kitchen run of the onion bhaji before I wheel it out to you and to potentially guests when we get back in the crib. It might be like the blowfish.

You need to get it exactly right or it gives you cancer. Yeah, that's not bad. If you mention that in the introduction of the book, that it's like, look. You've got to cut the bhaji a certain way. Cooking your own risk. Yeah. You've got to be a proper bha certain way. Cooking your own risk. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to be a proper bargy chef, experienced bargy chef.

So, look, we talked about this weeks ago, but we had a listener message us and say that she, her friend lives next door to Belle Gibson. I then asked her, can you get the address? It was just so we can go past and get a picture. Do a drive-by. Do a drive-by out the front and, you know, not harass the poor woman. I mean, God, she's been through enough fictional things, you know, already.

She doesn't need a real thing to deal with. You know, she's already gone through fake cancer. She doesn't need a real pair of podcasters annoying her out the front of her house. Oh, she wouldn't know how to cope with any kind of real-world harassment. Well, she couldn't complain. If she said, oh, these guys were harassing me, it's like, yeah, is this real though? Or is this like the cancer?

Or is this actual people? I mean, not to say, you know, obviously it's bad and wrong to wish cancer on someone. But narrative wise, her actually getting it is – there's no greater end to the story, right? I'm not saying I'm wishing that upon her. I would never wish it upon anyone. But if you were writing this as a movie, that would have to be the end, right?

Sure. She legitimately gets it and now is the ultimate boy who cried wolf. Yeah, if you were Hans Christian Andersen or one of the Grimm's brothers, you'd be whacking that in the end for sure. Yes, that's it. She's two-thirds of the way towards being a gruesome fairy tale. Anyway, so we can't find out where she lives at the moment, which is fine. It would make a lovely little postcard, but that's okay.

So I thought maybe – I was thinking what's the next step? How can we possibly get closer to her? We don't have any contacts. We've asked on the show if anyone knows her, anyone knows of her, where she lives, whatever. So I've thought I'll flush her out this way. So I've started my own Bell Gibson Instagram account saying, you know, like,

maybe, like, if I put it out, if you can go and have a look on Instagram, it's at bellgibsonofficial. So I figure, well, if I'm... Okay, yep. If I'm saying I'm bellgibsonofficial, yeah, she might come in and go, no, that's me,

and we might get contact. So I'll put up a post. It's got two likes already, fuck knows why, from very weird things. But I'll just, yeah, if you go along, you can see this. I've got a picture of her. It says, hi, guys, Sir Bantu here, using her African name. Belle Gibson was my slave name. I'm finally back on Instagram, and I'm single and ready to mingle.

I mean, sure, there's some guy who lives with me that claims to be my husband, but there sure are some liars around these days, right? Anyway, if anyone has any African diseases they'd like me to cure, throw them my way. There's nothing out there that can't be cured with a zucchini muffin. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata, sorry. So that's, I've put that out there. Very nice.

That's a bit of, what would you call, a bit of a thirst trap for Belle Gibson herself. A bit of a thirst trap. Yeah, I mean, typically when people try and impersonate celebrities on social media, they try and sound a little bit more like the actual person. Right. I don't know that Belle herself would be making jokes about the fact that she's a fraudster and using a cranny low res image of herself that appears to be – is this just a screen capture from a news article or something? Where's this photo from?

It's her and it's got her headdress on. It isn't the first thing that comes up on Google Images, but it's not far off. You have to scroll down the page once to get it. I didn't want to be too obvious. So yeah, it's a screenshot grab of her being interviewed while she's wearing some sort of African garb. And look, no biggie, but it seems to be kicking off over there. I've already got one follower. He sounds a bit African himself. Dar Salome? He might be some sort of, yeah, someone in Sabantu's community.

Yeah. D-A-S-S-A-L-O. Yes. Yeah. So, yeah, I'll put that out there into the world. Yeah, we'll see what happens. So you think that, yeah, you think that this is going to flush her out. The hope is that she gets made aware of this and contacts you and goes,

why are you pretending to be me quite poorly on social media? You can't really be trying to scam people because you don't seem too concerned with people not thinking that this is really me. So what is the game here? And then you reply going, this is the game right here. This is it. This is all I wanted. Yes.

Yes. It's, yeah, I am, look, I think if you're a big enough sucker to be sucked in by a fraudster, I might as well make it really fucking obvious that it's a fraud here. Yeah. Yeah, and at the very least, if I don't flush her out, maybe I can defraud someone on here. Maybe I can all of a sudden, maybe I become the new Belle Gibson

and I get to more deeply understand her situation, get her power, start ripping people off. Oh, totally. I mean, that would be like a – yeah, that would be a devastating outcome. Instead of hearing from her, you just start getting – it just all happens again. Yeah. It's just all these people taking it at face value and being like, oh, my God, it's so great to find you.

I'm such a fan. Like if you got like actual sick people sliding into your DMs and telling you like, I never stopped believing. Yes. I've got the cookbook. Yeah. Oh my God. Like, you know, people like, you know,

there are people that don't believe that the virus is real. There's people that think Trump is awesome. You know, there's people that cannot be dissuaded of beliefs they have, no matter how many facts are presented to them. So there's got to be diehard Bell Gibson fans out there that are still like, nah, she's actually still got that cancer. She's had it for 15 years. I believe in her.

People are. I believe, because I'm such a fan, I do believe she's going to die soon. You can't dissuade me otherwise. And they're going to be on my side on this new Instagram account. People sliding into the DMs and going, oh, Bell, I've got cancer. Is there anything you can do to help me out? And you're being like, yeah, I've actually discovered a great cure recently.

Come down to Basement Comedy Club on a Saturday night and check out the best of Melbourne comedy. Laughter is the best medicine, as they always say. Oh, yes. Fuck, what if that's it? Instead of saying it's the cookbook You know Here's all the foods

That cure you Laughter is the best medicine And it's just a front For Basement Comedy Club Friday and Saturdays Yeah Man That is fucking

That is amazing There you go Well yeah Get on that guys Follow that account Help us Yeah Help it

Help it get Legitimize it Yeah Get some followers there Yeah I'll be I'll be posting content On there too To flush out The great lady Yeah, help it get some followers. Legitimize it. Yeah, get some followers there. Yeah. I'll be posting content on there too to flush out the great lady. We'll see how that goes in the following weeks. All right.

So from one scam artist to another, patreon.com slash little dum-dum club, where you can help us continue to not get financial cancer and have things like our livelihood removed from our bodies. This keeps us fit and well and wasting money on Bell Gibson's cookbook and things like that. There are many, many of you out there that have done the right thing and signed up both out of the goodness of your heart and the need for more content in this difficult time in the planet's history.

Good for you. There really should be more Sydney people subscribing, in my opinion, considering they're in lockdown, let's call it. But I guess, why would you listen to a podcast when you're out at the beach or at a party with 50 other people? Who knows? So. Yeah, exactly. Let's thank you to everyone that's gone before these people, but also these people themselves.

Let's crack on this week. Open up the UTA Unplanned Title Alternator, Tommy, and let's read out some names. First cap off the rank. Let's do it. First cap off the rank. Let's do it. First cab off the rank this week. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Ryan Gerlach. Gerlach.

G-E-R-L-A-C-H. Gerlach. Gerlach? No, Gerlach, surely. No, it must be Girlack. Yeah. It's just I always find it funny to pronounce it as, you know, as it's written.

Right. Girlash. Yes. Fun fact about this character that I'm sure he'll enjoy me bringing up. This Ryan Girlack, he's obviously a Patreon subscriber. He gets our bonus episodes. We've recently been doing bonus episodes where we've had a regular segment, as we spoke about in this episode today,

where we talked about Merrick Watts, about how someone had guessed maybe he votes on the right side of things. We're trying to guess who leans right in the comedy world because it's sort of funny. The presumption is most comedians lean left in their political views, and it's an oddity to find out the people who lean bright. So every week we're sort of having a little bit of a guess

at the moment. We had a little bit of a guess of a few different names. We kind of like to think that everyone keeps it under their hat and keeps it to themselves. This bloke got on Andy Lee's Instagram and said, Dumb Dumb Club said you vote Liberal this week. What do you think about that? So thanks, Ryan.

Thanks for absolutely ratting us out. Yeah, no good, Ryan. What a little worm yeah but really disappointing stuff we did it's it's like the um it's like the sign that's like you know this many days without incident we'd gone a long while without any dobbing and uh yeah ryan had to even the score yeah and and and to confirm we didn't actually say that's what we think about Andy Lee. What a guest did was suggest his name and then really only associate that with the fact that he plays a lot of golf, I think, really, and has a lot of money.

So, yeah, Ryan Girlash, or as he's known around these parts, King Dobber. Yeah, wow. Look, to be fair, I put him in our patreon group facebook group i said i called him out and then there was just an absolute avalanche of feet of apologies on every different medium coming from him so right okay you put him in the uh the uh we fuck we we talk about them all the time i can never remember what they're called. The shit where old school in the town centre, you're in the little wooden stocks. You put him in the stocks. That's it.

The townspeople came past. They were throwing tomatoes at him. They were pulling his little pants down and fucking him in the ass. And then he was just yelling out to you, the mayor, going, please let me out of these stocks. That's it. I'll never steal bread again, I promise. I'll never paint on the side of ye olde Andy Lee's shack again.

Huge mansion. Yeah. About your voting preferences. But, look, he gave me a begging text message that was like, it was quite a shock too. So something along the lines of, it was quite a shock to turn on Facebook and then be absolutely counted and called out by my favourite podcast.

I was like, oh, that doesn't sound as good. So I deleted it all. No. But having said that, it did smack of a few people who tried to do this other years get us in trouble with other people so uh apparently he just accidentally cunted us but anyway it's uh look accidentally yeah slipped on the he slipped on the phone yeah went onto andy lee's page and just fell onto the phone and randomly pushed that sequence of letters. Damn.

Yeah. It's the old excuse of a man in a hospital getting an X-ray with a cucumber up his ass. It's the old whoopsie-doosie. Didn't mean to do that. Just quite the opposite, in fact. So, look, I'll believe him. I'll believe him this time. Yeah.

His excuse was, oh, you know everyone in comedy. So, you know, he would have been fine with that. It's like, no, not really. Yeah, I don't know Andy Lee that well. Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah.

Yeah. Look, maybe that's a new Patreon tier. If you put in enough money, we will let you get away with absolutely cunting us. You're allowed to be a little dobber. Yeah. The dobber tier. $50 all of a sudden. Just hundreds and hundreds of people subscribing.

Yeah. We'll cunt someone on the back end of the program and you can dub us in. Well, thanks, Ryan. Yeah, thanks for nothing. Oh, I mean, apart from all the money you've paid us. Yeah. But in other incidents, thanks for nothing. But let's crack it.

Let's try and make sure there's no more dobbers on this part of the show. Yeah. Yeah. Let's try and see if we can go dobberless for the rest of this Patreon raid. All right. Let's get second cab off the rank this week, Tommy. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Sean McDowell. Sean McDowell. Sean McDowell.

The McDowell Burger. Is that a thing? That's a thing. That's a thing, isn't it? That's a thing? From Coming to America, the movie? That's it. Never seen it, but I know the reference.

No one can ever take that away from me. But that's a movie you should see. Even I've seen that movie. You think so? I think it's worth checking out. I've only seen like seven movies. Even I've seen that movie. You think so? I think it's worth checking out. I've only seen like seven movies and I've seen that one. Get into it.

Well, I've been self-isolating for years. Okay. So you'd think I would have gotten around to it by now. Did you check out the sequel coming to America? I got about perhaps ten minutes in and thought... Oh, really? No good Not for me

Not Oh I'm sure It's a It's a fine little movie But I did not have The interest levels I One of those

One of those ones where You know what Those A lot of A lot of movies have this For me Have this element Where I see the

The coming soon posters I see the The hubbub around it Coming up And I go Wow Cool And then when it's on my door and I go, wow, cool.

And then when it's on my doorstep, I go, no, thanks. And just don't bother. I'm a bit like that too. Yeah, it's pretty easy to – or more often than not, it's like something looks great and you're really excited for it and then reviews start dropping and it's like a 7 out of 10. It's like, oh, okay. I guess I may as well not bother.

I hope they do do a third one though purely, purely because they've got the easy one of having Coming 2 America in the title. If they did a third one, they could have Coming 2 and 3 Ricker. They could have the little A be backwards. Okay. That's not bad. They're set up pretty... I'm sure they're considering it based purely on that.

The real shame is i think this is the chemistry going on inside my brain at the very least of some of these it's more and more common you're getting like a like a real old school sequel like a sequel to something from 20 30 years ago and it's it's you know that's sort of remarkable in a way because we didn't we never really had that before like you know in the 80s and the 90s and whenever you'd have a sequel or something from two years earlier, that's about it. It was never like Casablanca 2 coming out from nowhere. There's never like 30-year fucking gaps.

There's no The Seven Year Itch 2. There's no, you know, Duck Soup 2. None of this sort of shit. Yep, yep. How many more can he whip out? Come on, keep going. How many more can he whip out come on keep going how many more movies can i name from there's no uh there's no sequel to the train coming towards the camera and people freaking out in the cinema there we go do that again

you can go to the live show the live version of it but you can't go to the sequel. The 4D cinema experience of the train coming towards you. Yeah, yeah. But the thing is, so it's a new phenomenon relatively in the last 10 years or so, the long-term sequel. So it sounds like a great idea. It's like, wow, I can't believe they're going to do that from all that time ago and they're going to get the same people back. Wow.

And then you watch it and you just get a bit sad because you realise we're all going to die one day because these people that you remember from the 80s or the 70s or whatever it is they just look terrible they're just horrendous they're 30 to 40 years older than what they were and it's like that's not how i want to remember these people in this movie this is not fun at all maybe that's why uh maybe that's why they've become more popular as a way of people kind of dealing with their existential crises about death. In the same way that, like, you know, having a pet is kind of, like, good for a young family for, like, a child because it kind of teaches them about, like, death and sort of all that sort of early on. The same thinking of just, like, hey, this is a way that we can make people comfortable with the fact that they're, you know, they're all aging and we're all going to die.

people comfortable with the fact that they're all aging and we're all going to die and it's all kind of pointless is to trot out these stars from the 80s and they look fat and they look wrinkled and they look disgusting. So maybe they should play Coming to America in schools just to kids to show them that you're not going to be young forever. Look, this is you in Coming to America. Imagine you getting the royal penis cleaned. You're Eddie Murphy in the the first one you watch that one and you go how good is this that's going to last forever isn't it and everyone goes yeah and then straight away you bookend it with coming to america and and then consecutive days yeah and then you just go that's you really

soon yeah yeah no i like it so that it's consecutive days. So it's day one, coming to America. You're wheeling out the TV on the trolley, chucking it on. The kids are having a great time. They get to the end. They're thinking their dick's going to be sucked underwater. It's like, wow.

Yep, exactly. I love life. Sure, I don't get that reference, but I'll take your word for it. But then they get to the end. The teacher's like guess what there's another one of these

and that's what we're watching tomorrow and the kids can't believe it they're like how good's this two days in a row this is unbelievable and they've even like the teacher's gone

you pick your own character on the show which one's you and then the next and they're like oh great I'm fucking I don't even know

what one of the characters name is but then yeah the next day it's like let's catch up on what you are up to. And it's just a 40-year-old version of whatever that kid is. And just the teacher pointing them out, pointing to the character, then pointing to the kid and going, that's you. You're fucked. That's going to be you one day old and also also worth keeping in mind is like

those that you're saying like it's depressing because you see people aging it's like but that's a movie so it's like that's not even that's not even as bad as like the real life version of that person would look yeah because they're hollywood people that have had botox and they've had makeup so it's like even that version of them that looks like shit, that's as good as it gets. It's like you won't even look that good. Yeah, absolutely. Rough. So let's look.

Any teachers out there? Any heads of school boards? If you could add that to the curriculum, I think we've got that worked out. Get it in there. Too many kids these days, they grow up and they think they're going to live forever. They think they're going to be young forever. I think it's hurting civilization, childishness in this society. So if we could just get that on board and really just know that you're going to meet your maker sooner rather than later,

I think that'll change a lot of people's actions or make a better place. I think so, yeah. Yeah. So thanks, Sean McDowell, for inspiring that of place yeah yeah so thanks sean mcdowell for inspiring that that changed to it the curriculum yeah thanks mcdowell um thank you very much to patreon subscriber rory matthews hmm what do you think of the name rory i don't know if we've had a rory before let's let have a, I'll pump that into the computer. We have.

We've had at least one. This is our second Rory ever. Okay. Interesting. I don't mind it. I've got a mate who always said that that was his second choice as a name. If he'd got the pick, he would have called himself Rory. Really?

Yeah. Interesting. I'm into it as well, I have to say. name if he if he'd got the pick he would have called himself rory and really yeah i'm i'm interesting i'm i'm into it as well i have to say it's phonetically i it's it's it's it's a bit of a mouthful rory but it's yeah i don't love it for that reason it sounds like it it sounds like you've got marbles in your mouth and you're trying to say something else i can't help but think of a bit of brill cream in a leather jacket. I'm like, I'm some sort of teddy boy. I'm some rocker called Rory. I'm in a skiffle band.

Right. Yeah. I like it. Are they still selling Brylcreem? Is Brylcreem still out there? I don't know. Yeah. I don't know.

It's just hair product, isn't it? It's like old school hair. It's not wax, but it's like... Is anyone still... Yeah, it's like you slicked your hair back with it. Is anyone still jacking off with Vaseline? Is anyone doing that? It's still out there.

Good question. It must be. Yeah. There must be. Because it's not like technology has moved on. Well, there's probably better things, to be fair. No? I don't know.

No? You don't think they can beat that? Well, also, I think it would need that kind of, like, brand name recognition of, like, you know, Vaseline is so synonymous with jacking off. And it's not like in the interim. I don't think that there's been another product that's kind of come along and taken the mantle. If you're a young...

I would have to say I've never participated in that pastime with that particular brand. I've never done it. Me either. Yeah. There you go. There's a generation or two that have skipped that. So, yeah, not looking good.

Not looking good for Vaseline. Let us know, folks. Let us know on the Facebook page. Yeah. Have you ever jerked it with Vaseline? Yeah. Specifically Vaseline. Yes.

We're not asking have you used a lubricant. We don't need to know about your spit or anything else you're getting into. Yeah. Specifically, we just want to know about the Vaseline. Yes, and what age you are because I'd like to – I'm picking there's like a lot of 40s and 50-year-olds using that brand and a lot of 16-year-old listeners out there going, what?

No, I just use liquid TikTok. Well, actually, maybe don't answer the question if you're under 18 because I have a feeling it may be illegal for us to have asked that and then received that as a question. So maybe just don't get in the comments if you're not 18 or over. We don't need to know. But, yeah, anyone else, if you're of age, if you're of legal talking about fucking age, then go for it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that'll cut out our thousands and thousands of pre-teen podcast fans that listen to us every week. Well, we did have a 17-year-old pipe up in the group this week, didn't we? Yeah, we've got a couple. We've got a couple of kids in there, which is nice.

Which is nice. Concerning. I do like the idea of some kids out there listening to the show and going to school and saying that they listen to this show and just the rest of the class ostracising them. What the fuck are you talking about? Given the way we carry on, it's actually surprising to me that – it's surprising to me that our audience isn't exclusively 17 and up.

Yeah, sure. Okay. Like it's – the actual mental level that's going on in here, it's weirder to me that there's like 40-year-olds that listen to this than there being like a 15-year-old thatold super into it. I think it's probably a medium thing where, sure, we're getting a lot of early to mid-30-year-old people that have got the mental age of 15 that are listening to us. But the people that are actually 15 are following similarly fucked-in-their-head people, but those people are on TikTok or those people are on YouTube. Oh, yeah, good point.

Good point. Or, I mean, they look at us and they go, there's two old men, why would we want to hear from them? But little do they know. They're just basing it on the cover art and the pictures of us. They don't know what they're missing out on. They don't know the experience we have at being fucked in the head. Like we've been mentally 15 years old.

I've been mentally 15 years old for 30 years now. So I know what the fuck I'm doing. Yeah, totally. But what was this name again? It's left me already. Oh, Rory. This is Rory. Rory Matthews.

Yeah, there's not a lot here for me, I have to say. I don't love the name Rory. Matthews is a surname. Male names that subscribe to us. Matthew is a surname. Pretty dumb. It's up there to my top five male names that subscribe to us. I'll say that. Okay.

Okay. I still think the guy we had called Jethro is probably my favorite male name that we've ever had subscribe to this. Your favorite? Yeah, I think so. Give me a bit of, how would you use it if that was your name? How would I, would I give myself a nickname if my name was Jethro? Yeah, well, you know, Jethro Daslow. Give me a bit of. That's pretty good.

Yeah. I mean, you could go, you could go Jet, you know, that's, you could shorten it and just be like, I'm Jet. That's pretty good. Yeah. I mean, you could go Jet. You know, you could shorten it and just be like, I'm Jet. That's pretty cool. Well, then just call yourself Jet then. All of a sudden, this is my favourite name, and then you're already changing it into another name. You like Jet. I just said Jethro is my favourite of the names we've had that have subscribed.

I'm not saying I want my name to be Jethro. I'm just saying that's my favourite one I've ever heard. Rory Chandler. I could have led that's my favourite one I've ever heard. Rory Chandler. I could have led a completely different life with that name. Absolutely. Yeah. I could be, I don't know. I think Carl's been holding me back.

I think Rory, I could be in a classic Cars club by now, being the president and really just acting actually 45, but being a cool leather jacketed dad, driving some sort of hot rod with flames down the side. Oh, right. Really just the... Oh, right. Okay. That kind of classic car. Because my dad is in a classic car club and I was like, that's not cool.

Right. He's not a cool guy. Well, I could be the one cool guy. I could be in the land of the blind. The one-eyed man is king. Yeah, yeah. When you were like 45, I was like, I don't know. Dad and his buddies are like fucking 80.

They just drive out to the country and then sit around and have a picnic and talk about each other's cars and then drive back. I mean, not to knock it. It sounds fun. But you were describing it as being a cool thing that you'd be into. And I was like, hmm, I don't know. I don't know. But yeah, you're meaning more like the, yeah, you want to be Fonzie.

Yeah. You think like if you had the name Rory, you would be living your life as Fonzie. I'd be living my life as someone in the 50s, but it's not the 50s. So I'm yes directly turning that into classic cars club and just that's that's the best environment to try and reinvent yourself as fonzie i think because then you're you're dressed in the leather jacket you got the brule creamed hair after you finish whacking off with it and uh yeah yeah that's great that's great like joining up to just assuming that it's like any type of classic car

like not knowing the specific models or anything so you've saved up all this money you buy a classic car and then it's like you're turning up with my dad and his mates and you've got like the leather jacket on and the shades and you're like hey and it's just like all these geriatric men going what the fuck's the matter with you and And I'm trying to crack onto your mum. Yeah. Trying to, honestly thinking, I can get, steal your mum off your dad by having a slightly cooler car. Right.

So in your head, you think the only thing standing between you and fucking my mum is the name Rory. And using some Jack-off cream in my hair and having some flames on the side of my 1965 car. If you'd had sex with my mum but we were still doing the podcast together, it's just like I haven't i haven't like walked away i'm still like in here everywhere just getting roasted about it like yeah remember

when i fucked your mum me like yeah yeah i remember pretty good stuff man i don't really i don't really have anything outside the patreon um so yeah okay yeah good one this will wear off eventually it's not like this show's ever had any running jokes that go into the ground over the years. Oh, Rory. Well, thank you. Thanks very much, Rory. Thanks. And good on you.

Good on you for having such a cool name. Has it been? Let us know, Rory. Has it been a cool life so far? Has it been? Do you think it's dragged your life above where it where it would have been you know otherwise if you had been just gary matthews would you have had a four out of ten life and instead you've had like an eight yeah let us know thanks rory um thank you very much

to patreon subscriber ross br. Well, there you go. Look at just a couple of letters, what it can do to your name and to your life. You've gone from Rory. We've changed a couple of the back-end letters, and we've got Ross. That is, that's a big drop in terms of a cool name, in my opinion. Oh, I think I like Ross more. Oh, really? I think Ross is cooler than Rory for sure. Wow. Yuck. I like Ross more. Oh, really? I think Ross is cooler than Rory for sure. Really? Yeah.

Wow. Yuck. Ross Geller, the coolest person ever to be on TV. Yeah. I can't think of... I have an uncle... He fucks Jennifer Aniston. That's pretty cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he rooted a lot of people on that show, actually. Yeah. Nothing but babes. I think a lot of people on TV root a lot of people on that show, actually. Yeah. Nothing but babes. I think a lot of people on TV root a lot of people, to be fair. You could be called anything. Yeah. True.

But, no, I like the name Ross. Oh, wow. Yeah. For me, it's the head of Rory. What if that's your name from now on then? Ross Daslos. So then our comedy podcast becomes Chandler and Ross. We just sound like... Oh, no. So then our comedy podcast becomes Chandler and Ross.

We just sound like we've adopted the names of people from Friends because we want to be funny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That would be devastating. And whenever we have a guest on, we just ignore their real name and give them a name from friends. Yeah.

Yeah. Marcel. Yeah. Gunter. Yeah. If Will Anderson comes on, we just call him Gunter the entire time. It's just wedging and just going, can you just grab us a coffee?

And him going, what? Yeah. What is it about Ross that you're not into? Just sounds like Maybe it's because I've got an uncle called Ross Just to me it's like Yeah, that's what it is It's an old bloke's name

To me Maybe based off that one instance Maybe But I don't think I know anyone else with the first name Ross Ross Noble Oh yeah, there is two maybe. But I don't think I know anyone else with the first name Ross. Ross Noble. Oh yeah, there is too. Oh yeah, okay. Well, let's change things. Friend of the show. Yeah, that's right. Okay. Two Rosses.

Alright, okay. That's swung the pendulum back the other way. Alright. Yeah, he's a cool, I mean he's not a he's not like a traditionally cool guy but he's a cool guy. Yeah. You know? No, absolutely. He's got long guy. Yeah. You know? Yeah. No, absolutely. He's got long hair. Yep.

You know, that's cool. That's guaranteed cool. Successful. Yeah. He rides a motorbike. Yeah. I guess he is pretty cool. He drives a tank.

He owns a tank. The epitome of cool. Yeah, totally. It doesn't get any cooler than that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, cooler than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, all right. Well, I'm leaning, I'm coming back.

I'm coming back. The gap between the two names has dramatically shortened between Rory and Ross. I'm still team Rory, to be honest. I don't think you could convince me back all the other way, I'll be honest, but we can significantly shrink the distance between the two. Ross the Boss, I mean, that's a cool nickname. That is cool, yeah.

Rick Ross, cool guy rapper, cool to be affiliated with him. See, there's no cool showbiz Rorys I can think of that are in TV or movies or anything like that. I can't think of any. I'm typing Rory in. Rory McIlroy, professional golfer, the coolest sport of all, obviously. Yep. Rory Calhoun, American film actor from the 1950s.

He was in Westerns. What's cooler than some old cowboy that you've never heard of? Not much. Yep, pretty cool. Yep. Pretty cool. Yep, I'll give you that. And what else?

Rory Cochran, he's an actor. Don't know who that is. Yeah, look, there really isn't very much to back my feelings up with, I'll be honest. Yeah, the famous Rory's out there aren't doing much to support your claim. No. Okay. All right.

Maybe we need the guy from before to get into acting, make him a public figure so that hopefully he's a cool guy and he can sort of swing the pendulum a little bit. Yeah. Rory Matthews, it's up to you. It's up to you to get out there and change the reputation of your name to make it fit what my brain tells me. Yeah.

And, yeah, sorry, Ross. Sorry that Chandler's had to be worked around to your name. But hey, I think it's pretty cool. Yeah. I think you sound like a cool guy. Yeah. Yeah. It's okay.

Sure. It's fine. Bradbury's not bad. I don't mind Bradbury as the surname. Yeah. The famous Bradbury, Stephen Bradbury. Of course, he would know of that. The man who was in the ice skating.

I dare say that Ross is hearing about that almost on a daily basis. There's got to be some kind of joke or reference from the friendship circle, you'd have to assume. I'll say this. So he, for people who don't know, he was an Australian ice skater. What do you call? Speed skater. And infamously, famously as well. Can you be famous and infamous?

I think so. In this case, yes. He was a speed skater. Everyone in front of him in the final of the Olympics fell over. And he won because everyone else couldn't stay up. They all fucked up except for him. Yeah. And he won the gold medal.

And that's been celebrated as a great thing, as being sort of shit and everyone else fucking up, which is a very funny sort of Australian thing to celebrate. But yes, it is funny. funny sort of Australian thing to celebrate. But yes, it is funny. I will say that he, I designed his book, his autobiography. I designed it.

I was working at a publishing company and I designed the cover and the spreads and everything. And he, I never met him. You just do the job. And then he was at Spleen one night, at the comedy night. I don't think he was there for the comedy. I think he was just there drinking and then the comedy started up and he was like, what the fuck's this? And I went up to him and went, ah, Stephen Bradbury. And he was like, yeah.

And I go, hey, I designed your book. He's like, what? I said, I designed your autobiography. And he just looked at me and turned around and walked away. He snoozed you. That's good. Yeah. And yeah, look, I'm going to say I heard a few other stories about in that time of him,

around the time of him putting that book out publicity publicity wise, and I'm going to say it, not an amazing bloke. Oh. Yeah. Okay, you heard it here first. I'm putting it out there. Not an amazing bloke. So that's strike two for Ross Bradbury on both names, associated with two negative things for me.

Sorry, mate. Sorry about me. Sorry, mate. Sorry about that. Sorry, Ross. Sorry. So thank you. Yeah, thank you. Hey, thank you for, you know, you're contributing to us. That's a positive thing.

You're giving us money in the middle of a pandemic. This is the only way we're making money at the moment. It's charity from you. You know, that's point scoring for the Bradbury family. You know, they won the gold medal. you know, that's point scoring for the Bradbury family. You know, they won the gold medal, then their names got dragged through the mud in the, you know,

the horrible spleen incident where he snubbed me. And now you're back on top. Thanks, mate. Thanks, Rossi. Thanks, Rossi. Okay. All right. Let's – look, your internet's playing up a little bit.

Let's cut this short. Tommy. Yeah. It's been a brutal session behind the scenes for anyone listening. Hopefully it sounds seamless, but yeah, really shit stuff going on here today, thanks to the boffins down at IINET. Yeah. The technical difficulties on this episode has been between Brett Blake's mic cord and your internet. Yeah.

Plagued from beginning to end by technical difficulties in this episode. Yeah. But yeah, let's just do one more name. All right. I feel like we owe the people at least one more. All right, okay. Let's do one more.

Just good to finish on a high and, yeah, just sort of feel a bit good at the end of this segment. So let's crack on to the last one. Thank you very much, Patreon. Subscribe. Oh, okay. Okay. Hmm.

Okay. All right. This is – I mean, look, I always think always think you know we have some funny names on here that we can sort of even if we have bad names we sort of can make something of it but yeah i always feel like we we love it when we can get a particularly sort of odd name that we can riffle off riff riffle off the back of that. That's sort of what we're wanting. When I'm about to read out a name, I can feel you, Tommy, thinking I hope this is a bit, you know, out of the left of centre.

Hope this is a bit out of the box. Right. Yep. So this is, I think this is both odd and it sort of reminds me of something we've said earlier as well. So almost the perfect name in a way. Okay. Well, let's have at it.

Fuck. Anyway, we'll see what you make of this. Anyway, thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Andy Lee Votes Liberal Comedy. Right. He votes liberal comedy. Yeah, he votes for liberal comedy in the American sense of it. Just, you know, liberal. Oh.

Like free and easy comedy. He's for free speech in the American sense of it. Just, you know, liberal, like free and easy comedy. He's for free speech, finally. Yes. Finally, a comedian that's into free speech. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Well, thanks, Andy Lee votes liberal comedy. And thanks to everyone else who supports Little Dunlop Club. I think Ryan Gerlach would particularly enjoy it.

He probably knows this guy, I reckon. They probably hang out. Yeah, he probably encouraged him to sign up. Thanks very much for supporting the show. He's paid for his subscription. Thanks very much for supporting the show. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub. Get yourself two bonus episodes every week.

LittleDumbDumbClub.com for all of the merch that we've got. Yeah, keep an eye on the socials for any updates that we have about the live show dates and all that kind of stuff. Guys, thanks very much

for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. See you, mates.