The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 575 - Dave Hughes & Josh Earl

Episode Date: October 6, 2021

It's the return of DAVE HUGHES and JOSH EARL! We're excited to welcome Hughes back onto the show as Tommy's got a new nickname for him, and we stage a mini Twitter intervention. PLUS we follow up on all the suggestions for our potential country Victorian live show. We get into various small town folklore involving dirty windows and livestock, Hughes makes a case for doing a live podcast in his hometown, we get all the sordid details of Josh's honeymoon AND Hughes wants to invest in a Thai bar with us! YES THANK YEEEWWWWW. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Dave Hughes and Josh Earle. Head to littledumbdumbclub.com. You're going to find a link to our Patreon. You can get on there. You can support the show. You can get two bonus episodes every week. You can also get some merchandise from us. We've got all sorts of great t-shirts, hats, all kinds of stuff. But we will be back to talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dumb Dumb. Until then, enjoy this new episode with dave hughes and joshua hey mates welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week thank you very much for joining us my name is tommy das. And with me as always the other half of the program, Carl Chandler.

G'day Dickhead. Joining us today, we have two great guests. Please welcome back into the program, Josh Earl and Dave Hughes. Yes. Great to be here. Can I first say, I haven't been on Josh's podcast. You've asked me a number of times, but now we're here. I feel like this is an ambush.

You can just cut me and Tommy out of this and use this as your podcast if you want. I did say to you once, you're my white whale. I've got everyone in comedy but you. Absolutely no reason for it not to have happened. Burn all your good stories on this so that you can't use them on Josh's podcast.

It'll be a spin off from this. I don't think that worries a lot of people. I think Blakey comes on and tells the same stories every week. Yeah, there's a few people guilty of it. But we are once again back in the same room. This rule, for anyone who's missed the last couple of weeks, there's a rule in Melbourne at the moment, restrictions are veered slightly.

You can have five people in a room at a venue for a broadcast. We are broadcasting our arses off right now. We've got an absolute bonafide broadcast professional with us in Dave Hughes. But we are not allowed to use the toilet so we'll be shitting

on the floor. Also, also like, this is great for people who've been locked up for so long at the moment is that we get to go

in a pub in the same room together and we just found out free parking at the front. I know. Fucking hell. Really? Yeah.

What a time to be alive. I haven't experienced that anywhere else. That was the first time and it was just so cool, wasn't it? I know. I just watched you figure it out and I saw you cross the road two times to figure it out.

No, I realised I'd left my key in the car. But yeah, it was... It has been a while. You have been in lockdown for a while. For me, the pandemic's been worthwhile with that. That saved just, what, $7, I reckon. Yeah, $4 an hour, yeah. You went up to the parking machine and it just said,

don't worry about the chief, it's on us. It did. It said, stage four, no pay. So, yeah. It singled out stage four. Yes, it does say that. Yeah, they're scared of the germs off the coins. They don't want the coins in the parking meter.

Yeah, I don't mind that at all. Is that to do with we are kind of near a hospital at the moment? Is it to do with that maybe? I did see a nurse walk past. Absolutely. So maybe it is. I reckon they're thinking people are right on the fucking edge. If they get a ticket, it's going to be fucking bloodshed.

I've had them. I've had tickets and it's like it makes you so angry. I know. There could be COVID on this ticket. I know. Like, it makes you so angry. I know, I know. Like, there could be COVID on this ticket. I know.

I got one last night, and the way I noticed it was in the bedroom this morning, my girlfriend just looking out through the window and seeing it on my car from out in the street and just goes, you cunt! Just screams it out. And I was like, yeah, I agree. Because it's been – it feels like they just – the inspectors have not been out for the last – and they're now starting to go, all right, we're in the month officially

that things are going to start to be reopened. Is that one of the easing of restrictions? Parking officers. They go first. They're back first. Essential workers, the parking inspectors. Yeah, we're actually in stage 3.8 right now. We got slightly lowered down.

You're allowed a picnic and to be fine. Yes. To go back a step on when you said we're allowed to broadcast and your listeners were saying it's a loophole. Can you tell them it's not? It's actually the law. Yeah, it's actually the law. It's not a loophole.

We don't want to do this, but it's the law. And we're going to get in trouble if you Zoom anyone. The cops are going to come around. The three of us could handle getting some flack on Twitter. But one of our other guys. No, too sensitive. Actually, this is an intervention. We're kicking you off Twitter, Hugh.

I've had mates of mine ring me up. Oh, you've got to get a... It's an intervention. Back off, right? It's all I've got, guys. I'm also losing my mind on Twitter, Hugh. Don't worry. I'm doing polls.

I'm doing competitions. I know you are. I'm getting involved with some of them. I'm losing my mind on it. Didn't Prince beat Madonna the other day? Is that right? Yeah, he did. Well done.

He'd be very impressed. I've tweeted just essentially the same thing every couple of days for the last two years at this point about how I've been self-isolating for years. So, yeah, none of us are thriving on the medium, it's fair to say. What have you been doing on there, Chando? Still business as usual? Just one line is about octopuses. Oh, man, I wish.

I wish. How many fake accounts are you running? I start off a new one. Bell Gibson. I've got Instagram. I've got that guy. There's a lot of people kicking off on me. Just people going on there going, get off Instagram.

You're a liar. It's like, fucking no shit. Yeah. You're still getting a lot of flack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still everywhere. Were you fighting any tradies over the last month? No.

I thought you would have. I thought you would have. Oh, no, no, no. I'm banned from Facebook. Yeah, sorry. I'm banned from Facebook for a month for arguing with anti-vaxxers. Yeah, sorry. A month.

A month is incredible. The other day, anyone who follows me on Twitter would know how annoyed I've been in the Victorian government. They would know. But the other day someone said, you're being paid by Dan Andrews. For fuck's sake, you can't win. The thing I love about your work on Twitter is that you are now attacked by both sides.

The left think that you're an anti-vaxxer and the right know that you've double-vaxxed and hate you for that. I know. What the fuck? You cannot win, absolutely. You're the joker. You just want to see chaos.

I'm still there, though. Where so many have given up, I'm still there. Well, yeah, we should mention we are in at Catfish this week. Catfish Bar that's in Gertrude Street in Fitzroy. Thanks to them for having us up here. I remember this on the way here, Husey.

I used to run a comedy night here. Yeah. And you came and did it once. I don't think we've ever talked about this on the show, but you came and headlined, and friend of the show Cameron James was hosting. Yes. He was down from Sydney.

Yeah. And he plugged the gig on his Facebook page, and he went to type, hosting this gig tonight if you're in Melbourne, come on down. Husey's on. And his phone auto-corrected it and he hadn't seen it. And this was up there for a day.

The plug said, come on down, Highway's on. Now, on this show, there's a famous episode that you were on a long time ago where we now know you as Hughes on this show. Yes. And I don't know, maybe it's just a matter of personal taste, but I'm kind of a bit more fond of Highway. We sure didn't say highest because generally, honestly, Husey goes straight to highest.

That's why it stuck out to me. It said Highway. Why has this happened? Highway. I'll take Highway. Highway, we have a problem. Do you know Highway? Do you know High?

I still get that. I still get, do you know Hughes? I mean, you guys have still get that. I still get Do You Know Hughes? I mean, you guys have got cut through. There's no doubt about it. Yeah, that story had real cut through. You know, memory of you here at Catfish when Tommy ran it, I would have to say a fond memory that I probably haven't talked to you properly about, Tommy, is the time that very early on

when you were very first starting this gig that you don't run anymore. So numbers so numbers are going good whatever then you go fuck we'll get hughes on yeah and it just happened to be one of those weeks where it's like you start a gig you can't be you can't be killer every week you're gonna have a slump whatever hughes comes on it's a week where you're headlining you're at the back of the room and it's the slump for whatever reason there's 20 people in here and then I'm up the back. I don't think I was even, I was just hanging out. And you're up the back, and I'm just listening to you for I reckon 30 minutes going, fucking hell, how come there's no cunt here?

Why won't people come to see me fucking here? What the fuck's the problem with this gig? And just you arguing against anyone and everything, going, why is this happening? And then you get up there, and then it's a little bit of the classic, like, you know, angry at the people that aren't there instead of happy with the people that are here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But then killer. Then it was great. Then you're killed. It was all good. You know, there was 20 people, but it was still great. But then what I love was a snapshot into both of you at the end of it, which was you sitting there seeing 20 people and going, where's Tommy? He's going to pay me.

And then Tommy looking like for everything he could to avoid paying you he's picking up every chair he's picking up every bit of fucking chewing gum off the fucking ground i'm making that to the agent and you're and you're and you're sitting on the back going it's fucking 11 o'clock you got breakfast radio in the morning you're like where's this cunt with me money and it's just me this is his mini show within a show of me watching you stalking tommy and tommy fucking changing light bulbs yeah getting a new fire extinguisher this And it's just me It's just this mini show Within a show Of me watching you Stalking Tommy And Tommy Fucking changing light bulbs Yeah

Getting a new fire extinguisher Did you walk down Did you walk to the Did you walk to the ATM I think we probably did Sometimes you gotta go to the ATM We had to go to the ATM Sometimes

We had to go to the ATM This is pre-pandemic The parking meters were open ATMs were open I'm out seven bucks On the parking Now I'm I'm just

taking a bath on this Uzi gig I did find it very funny though because it was clearly like right the money you're giving him is definitely like more than what

you've got in the red you're in the red for the gig I'm sure there's a reason for you to be fucking you know finding other things to do

but you're going nah it's a matter of principle also I just want that money I'm hoping for like a Christmas miracle at the last minute where you go, you know what, just let's make it half. I'm just thinking like something's going to happen.

The roof's going to cave in or something's going to happen. I wasn't there to send you broke but I was there for you to learn a business lesson. Send a message to anyone else running a gig. If you want Highway on, you've got to pay the toll. It's my way, Highway, all the Highway. Well, I had in the comedy festival this year someone not accepting cash. And it wasn't like, no, no, no, don't pay me.

I just don't want it in cash. Can you just transfer? And I had, because I'd went to the ATM before, we had the little envelope. There's your money. I don't want the money. Can you just transfer the money? I'm like, so I've got to go back to the fucking bank and put this back in the

thing and then give it to you. That's the anti-husing. That's extraordinary I mean that is I mean cash screen Someone in the arts Who's like No no please

Let's have this on the book That's a COVID Fucking denial That's a COVID That's over the top That's a proper germaphobe That's Arch Barker territory You know what

That's a millennial That is no Dave Hughes That's no Dave O'Neill Knocking back cash Cash is great Dave O'Neill knocking back cash. Cash is great. Dave O'Neill climbing up his ladder to get into bed with all the cash underneath the mattress. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He loves paying me cash. He's like, no, don't put invoicing. Don't do it. Don't do it. I'll get the cash. I'm like, fuck, all right. We'll get in. Anyway, we always put invoices in, though.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. For any from the tax office. Yeah, we're big with the tax office. We're mad with the tax office. We love it. They're great people absolutely hey so what we've been

talking about I thought this would be good for you too because what we were talking about last week is you know we haven't been doing live podcasts there's no live anything

at the moment obviously hasn't been for months in Melbourne we want to do a live show in the country and we're trying to pick we put it out to listeners last week

we want like a shitty country town we want somewhere with a bit of a shitty pub you know good counter meals everything cheap uh a shitty motel i want a motel with osta i want a motel with a shitty pool i want a good bakery but we want to go you know maybe two hours out of melbourne something not not a touristy town not like a dalesford not a lawn not anything like that just some really bang average town which you know you guys are both from aren't you yeah you're from

bernie you're from yeah yeah warn you're from Warrnambool. I'm from a shit town, yeah. Warrnambool's a bit big, though. No, I don't think Warrnambool is too big. I think, I know, it's my hometown, Warrnambool, all right? So, and I was talking to my mum today, and they've got 25 cases down there of COVID. Oh, they've made it. Yeah.

But they're not being shut down. So, what we're saying is that Warrnambool, you can book the gig and it's going to happen. Right. Okay. All right. And per capita, that's a pretty high amount of people to have COVID and it's business as usual. So Warrnambool's like Vegas was in the States early on last year

where they were like, nah, we'll be the guinea pigs. We'll just go for it and see what happens if we let it rip. Well, my mum said because Warrnambool is, you wouldn't have thought it, but the highest vaxxed place apart from Queenscliff apparently in Victoria, Warrnambool's over 90% vaxxed. And the government apparently has said just get on with it. So I just think Warrnambool's an option. What's the population?

I was going to say, is that because your mum's on the Warrnambool Facebook doing what you're doing on Twitter? My mum is definitely. AZ, everyone, AZ. She's double AZ, mum is. So I don't know how. She doesn't go out anyway, really. Or no, she said her mahjong got shut down, actually.

Oh, because of COVID. She's playing mahjong, so she's not happy about that. Big mahjong community in Waterworld. There's a big mahjong. People are taking up mahjong in Waterworld. Okay, all right. So if you don't know what that is, it's some sort of card game based in, I don't know where, it's from China, I believe.

It's China, I believe. Oh, well, there's the problem. There we go. That's why Dan hasn't shut it down. All right. Well, maybe it is, no. Well, you've got to sweeten the deal for us, Hughesy. If we do this in Warrnambool, can we count on the hometown hero

coming down and being a gig? When was the last time you did a gig in Warrnambool? It's years, actually. I haven't done a gig in Warrnambool I've played years actually I haven't done a gig in Warrnambool for years so look

absolutely yes I will come down not even doing stand up guesting on a podcast I love it I'm desperate to work

you know that I was actually listening to I was at Bill Burr with Jerry Seinfeld on you know that comedians

and cars stuff he was saying that the Expendables, you know the Expendables, all those huge stars who are doing those movies. And Bill was going, why are they doing those movies? And Jerry said,

because they just want to get out of the house. Yeah, yeah, right. Because they're all like 65 or 70 year old dudes, aren't they? They just literally want to get out. As I'm driving here, I was thinking I might be expecting, I just want to get out of the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's been the rules of comedy. You're the Arnie to our Sylvester Stallone. Yeah. It's like for years, like Adam Sandler movies have just been, okay, now which exotic destination can this one take place in? Mate, Hawaii with the game. I've held three podcast festivals in Koh Samui, so I'm allowed to go there.

Exactly. As a shit town in, and this is is I've had a nice time there But it is a shit town Dunkeld Have you been to Dunkeld before? That is small Dunkeld Yeah but these guys

These guys will have like 180 people travelling from here To go there But they're going to have to have tents There wouldn't be enough accommodation There's the Royal Mail Hotel You can all stay there It's a really nice hotel

And there's a shit motel as well Okay There are two motels in Dunkeld There's some QC who bought up the town because I did a show there and the theatre is so shit. It's just an old town hall and this QC offered to give them a million dollars to fix it

and they said, no, no, because that means you want to bring your fancy city shows here and we want our shows. What's their definition of a country show then? The cake show, baby. Oh, your show. Me and Damien Callaghan have been there. We're the comics who go there.

I think Kitty Flanagan has been there. What's the population of Dunkell? It's the only Victorian country town where the population is going up, though. Is it? Yeah, because of this restaurant there. Because it's like a three-star Michelin. People are moving to a town for a restaurant? To work and stuff like that.

Oh, how big's the restaurant? What's the restaurant called? The Royal Mail Hotel. Yeah, right. It's like a two-star, three-star, Michelin star, whatever it is. Oh, Michelin star. I'm moving to a town for a two-star. I used to have school camps at Dunkel.

That's why. So the country people would go to Dunkell to have a camp. Right. That was a big thing. It feels like a 3,000 to 5,000 population. Probably, yeah. Probably about that. At the most.

But it's the theatre where I've performed. So, the lights work by, like, you put a dollar coin in to set the hall up. Unbelievable. Really? And Damien Callan, when he was there, the lights went out because someone forgot to feed the meter. Oh, great. Yeah. So, that would be a great thing for you guys. Great he was there The lights went out Because someone forgot To feed the meter Oh great So that would be

A great thing for you guys Just have the lights go out So you've got to pay 20 bucks for a ticket Plus one dollar To keep the show going Yeah someone's got to Put a dollar on the meter

Where's the meter Is it like on stage No just on the wall As you walk in Just for the lights Not for the sound No just for the power In the whole place

Yeah the sound as well We need that to stay on If we did a show Maybe we could put one No, just for the power in the whole place. Well, I mean, it's a lot. Yeah, the sound as well. So, yeah. We need that to stay on. If we did a show, maybe we could put one on the other side of the wall. If you want it to be funnier, you have to feed the meter. Well, so you get an hour out of the meter, right? So our thing goes for an hour. So when we're ready to start, we've got someone lined up with the dollar coin on the back of the meter.

No overs. Three, two, one, go. They drop it in and then we just crack out the hour. Yeah, yeah. So we get it right. When the lights go off, perfect. That's it. Yeah, go. They drop it in and then we just crack out the hour. Yeah, yeah. So we get it right. Perfect. That's it.

Yeah, yeah. Literally get played off by electricity. Well, we've had lots and lots and lots of response from people. And I've investigated a bunch of them. They sound great. You know, I love a small town. What I did ask for was I love a small town story, like a small town like idiot. Yeah.

The crazy people. Who's your Sunshine Johnson? Yeah, the Sunshine Johnsons of the world. Sunshine Johnson was my town's legend. Right, yeah. He was the guy that, what's the best of? The best of is he used to go up to people in the pub and say to people, I've got your name on my dick, and then pull his pants down and he had the words your name on his dick.

Yeah, I love that guy. That stuff. Yeah, he's wonderful. Was there a water bowl equivalent of that dude? Yeah, it was a guy who had an intimate moment with a horse. Every town's got one. Yeah, yeah. Sunchon Johnson fucked a goat.

He went to court. They said, was the goat male or female? He said, what do you think? I am a poofter. Mick Gale was Bernie's one and same story. Fucked a goat. I know the guy. I don't want to get sued here by whoever it was

but there was a guy who also would always have the VFL or AFL scores around local footy he would always have a transistor radio you could ask the score of any game and he would tell you straight away while you're watching local footy he would tell you the big city scores I think he was the guy who did the horse I'm not completely sure

so if you're listening and you weren't that guy. So he was very intimate with all sorts of behinds. Yes. Yes. So is that going to be a new criteria for this small town?

There's got to be someone. There's got to be a local legend about someone having a urban legend. Gotten bummed by a horse. Yeah, we need to know the goat bummer in the town. I think they're doing the horse.

I think the horse is doing them. Yeah, we'll look. We'll take it. If the horse is doing them, fair. No, they're dead. Fair play I think the horse is doing them. Well, yeah. Look, we'll take it. If the horse is doing them, fair enough. No, they're dead. Fair play. If the horse fucks you, you're dead. No, you've...

There's no way. Someone survives a horse bumming, we'll go to your town for sure. Yeah, you're coming on the show if that's the case. We're doing it on... We're recreating the magic. We're interviewing you. So what I did like is... It's a big effort, though, isn't it? Really. I mean, in either way. Getting fucked by a horse. Yeah, well, all the other I did like is... It's a big effort though, isn't it?

Really? I mean, in either way. Getting fucked by a horse. Yeah, well, all the other. I mean, it's all a big effort. I mean, it's, yeah. For sure. Commitment to a cause, isn't it really?

It's commitment to a horse. I just don't know how you do anything. So a lot of people gave a lot of info about, like that's what I said about Warrnambool. Your local derby surely would be Colac, isn't it? Isn't that your local rival? Yeah, Colac is a rival.ool. Your local derby surely would be Colac, isn't it? Isn't that your local rival? Yeah, Colac is a rival, absolutely. There's a lot of people suggesting Colac.

And what I did like about that idea was that they – I did look at their hotels. They look pretty – their motels, I should say, which I love. Yeah. They look pretty average, which I was pretty attracted to. Yeah, it's closer. It's reasonably close to Melbourne, Colac. You can beat Colac in an hour and a half.

Right. They've got a fully working uh fully uh uh working uh video shop still video rental shop which is very much attractive okay that's huge um still doing videos yeah sounds like up our alley like if they're if those sort of people are into renting videos they're they're into low grades of entertainment they're into us we do we do the podcast and we just get bored of it and we treat it like a year six classroom. We just wheel in a TV on a little stand and chuck a VHS in it. What do you reckon five weeklies are going for these days? Well, it was always five.

It got up to $12 in Burnie when I was still renting DVDs. Five DVDs for $12. What about inflation? Huge. I remember back in my day. I'm old enough to weigh before the internet where the only time you could get like, well, you'd have to go to the local video shop to buy a movie, not like a porno, but just movies where you know had adult content.

We're talking Under Siege. We're talking Wild Things. Before Under Siege. We're talking Chatterley's Lover. Oh. Yeah, absolutely. Wow. But you wouldn't want to just hire that on its own.

So you'd have to hire a couple that you didn't want to watch. So it was in the five pack. Citizen Kane. The Magnificent Ambersons. You put the five up on the counter and the third one would be the dodgy one. One of those how-to videos that they'd always have in the video. What kind of sick mind is renting this? The ones that come free with the VCR.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was living at home with the parents and we're in the lounge room and you have mum and dad in the kitchen and me in the lounge room just with one hand on the pause button or the stop button. It was just what a life I had. Great. Well, that's a big selling point for me and for Colac. But we did have a response from someone which I loved

because you're getting a lot of info about the motels, about the pubs, about the distance, about the bakeries even. This guy gave up a story which I love, which is they suggested Turalgon. There's a pub called Saloon and also a guy called Pax Hill Pete who comes all over the windows in his unit. What?

Pax Hill Pete who comes all over the windows in his unit, which I love in that he's known for coming on his own windows in his unit and his nickname's still Pax Hill Pete. Yeah. Why wouldn't you get some sort of masturbatory term in his nickname? Yeah, what could it be? Pack and Heat Pete. Pump and Pete. What is his nickname? Pax Hill Pete.

Pax Hill Pete. Pax Hill must be a suburb of Turalgon maybe or something like that. How is he not copying more shit in his nickname is what I want to know. He's inside. He's never leaving. He's got everything he needs. His windows are clogged shut. But if he's coming on the windows, it means there's no curtains.

So you can look through and see. Well, you used to clogged shut. But if he's coming on the windows, it means there's no curtains. Yeah. So you can look through and see. Well, you used to be able to look through. Well, he's found a loophole in exhibitionism. Leave the windows open or leave the curtains open. Yeah. Make your own curtains. You can't stand there and just wait. Make your own curtains.

That should be illegal, isn't it? Yeah. Is he on a main road? Well, surely he can say, I was in my own house. Yeah. Yeah. It was not my fault that people were walking past. Yeah.

He countersues for their purpose by own house. Yeah. Yeah. It was not my fault that people were walking past. Yeah. Yeah. He counter-sues for their purpose. They're looking in. Yeah. Maybe his name used to be worse and he sued again because of that. No, he should have to have warnings or something on the outside. He should have to have one of those. So this is presumably he's like got a unit that's at street level. Yes.

It's a specific area. People are walking past. Maybe it used to be a milk bar maybe. Well, the idea that he's just maybe using a dodgy window cleaner or something. He's been stitched up here and he doesn't even know. And everyone's like, look at those cummy windows. You give him a couple of months, you won't ever see him do it, though. It'll all be covered.

Maybe he had the pubs that would have that screening so you could look out but couldn't look in. Maybe he's got that the wrong way round. And he doesn't realise that people can see in. Maybe he's trying to recreate that scene from Titanic. He doesn't have the steam, so he's just going to wank and then put his hand down the window. Husey, I'm trying to think my way through your concept. Does that mean he has tinted cum where you can look in

but you can't look out? Is that how that works? He's got a mirror. He's batting off over a mirror of himself, not realising that people on the other side can see through. Yeah, well, that's what I was thinking. Yeah, absolutely. So do they still do that at pubs?

Well, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, you can look at it, but not in. I've never seen it in a pub. It's more like an interrogation room thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There used to be a pub. Certainly when I grew up, the pubs, you could look at, but you couldn't look in.

There's a pub in Hobart that has it in the urinal, so you can see in the courtyard, but they can't see you. Yeah, right. Yeah, no, that's fair. But that's weird as well. You shouldn't be standing there with your penis in your hand and being able to see people walking past. But apparently if the light is behind and you're up like that,

you can see. Oh, right. If you really want to be a pervert, you can't do it. The perfect crime. All you've got to be a pervert, you can't do it. The perfect crime. All you've got to do is stand in the corner of this courtyard with your head up against the wall and everyone's none the wiser. I still don't think you should be able to wee and be able to see people walking past.

It's a bit strange. I went to a bar once where it was just like a big mirror on the urinal. So it was just like, here you go, mate. Have a big old piss all over yourself, you little fucking cunt. But isn't that, you can see other people's cocks then? Exactly. Of course it is. Everyone's like.

I was, so this comes back to another thread on the show lately, but we want to buy a bar in Thailand, right? Yes, I've heard about this, mate. People are, this is famous. There's one guy. Your endeavour is to buy a bar in Thailand. People are like, you're the king. These guys, they've sussed out live

so there was one I was looking at one online and they were going I don't know why they did this they did the walkthrough and they went through this bar

into the toilets and one of these bars for sale has got like the urinals is just nothing but Asian girls pictures of Asian girls

looking down at the urinal and laughing and going that's small and like doing the finger laughing and going, that's small. And doing the finger thing. Why would anyone do that? Why does anyone want that in a bar? I think it's for men who are really secure in their masculinity.

I'm happy to deal with that. And then they go drown their sorrows and buy more beer. Speaking of the buying a bar in Thailand, Hughsey, as someone who's had more property than hot dinners. Can you give us any advice for how to seal the deal with this one? I mean, yeah, look, we've all been in lockdown. There's all been a lot of online shopping. How many flats have you bought?

I just said only this morning I said to someone, I haven't made an investment lately. Okay, all right. But I'm trying to become a tech guy. I want to invest in start-ups, but I can't see why a bar in Thailand's not a startup. Yeah, yeah. Hey, it's better internet over there than here.

Is it? Yeah, it is. There you go. So what does it cost a bar in Thailand? What are we looking at? This one I was looking at two weeks ago, it's $4,000. What? Yeah, that's all.

$4,000. You can buy that with your patron money. I know, but I think there's a lot of hidden. You've got to get a lawyer. There's still some sort of fee you've got to pay every month or so, something like that. Is that for the business, not for the land? You can't be a complete –

You can't be a landowner? Weirdly enough, there are stricter laws over there than there are here. You can't walk in. You've got to be a 49% uh shareholder uh rather than anything above 50 percent so do you is that to buy you the lease of the place does it or it buys you yeah you you basically have it for like 50 years or you know wow something like that yeah like it's like oh you can't you know you don't own it you just have it for 50 years it's like mate, mate, I'm not living any longer than that. To me, that's why I own it now. Yeah, absolutely.

Do you have to hire local people to work in it? Yes. Yeah, you can have other people, but you need to have work permits for local people. What's the award rate? What would you have to pay someone? I'd love to know that you're paying someone 20 cents a week. I think you might be keeping that quiet, to be honest.

Minimum wage. What's minimum wage on Coastal Mill? Hey, but that's the thing. There's a reason the beers are fucking $1.50. You can't be on Western rates and sell beers for $1.50. Let's not get too worried about that. Josh Earle, fucking Thailand Union chief. He's not even banning you.

He's cancelling you. But is it cheap because of, I imagine, COVID and everyone selling everything? Because there's no one. It's cheaper because of that. Yeah, it would be. Before COVID, I was still looking at it and it was like, I found one for like 10, 12 grand. Yeah, I think we're coming out the other side. I think this is a great investment.

Yes, I do. I do, absolutely. Are you in? I think I am. What have we got here? If they've run out of property in melbourne no honestly what if it only cost four grand like shares aren't going for that much in the bar so i might want in here yeah yeah look i'm investigating like the more shareholders we have the better the bar we don't have to have the like the grand the bar for four grand look it isn have the... Like, the bar for four grand,

look, it isn't the best bar in the island. Yeah. There's a... What is there? There's a fucking goat shit out the back, which might be of interest for... I think that's quaint and it's rustic. Location, though. Is it good location?

It's not bad. Like, the best location in Koh Samui is now fucking dead because it's like Bourke Street in the middle of pandemic year. No one's going there. So now the best area is where the locals live in Bang Rack up north,

and that's where this is. Yeah, and we're thinking things are going to bounce back, though. So we're, yeah. But do we make, because... I love the we. You're on board with this. I love this. But it's all very well, $4,000.

We've got to make sure that, you know, we don't sell, you know, homemade alcohol and kill people. Right, right. Because that could cost us money. Yeah, but you've got to remember, do people want to buy mojitos over there for $3 or for $30? That's the difference. You can't be selling the real gear.

The people who are driving around drunk on mopeds without helmets, they don't care. I love the idea of us being in on a business venture with Hughsy and then me and Carl having to come to you and be like, me and the fellow board of directors have decided that you've got to call it on the Twitter. You're hurting the bar. We didn't care before, but now we've got a vested interest in what's going on. Because we gave you the logins for the bar

and you've been doing all this fucking shit about Dan Andrews on the bar's Twitter instead of your own. I'm having to go to the local person. You're having to go to the Koh Samui bar. You cannot be having a crack at him, mate. You're going to the Thai King. You're going to beat him. I don't think we can even go to the Thai King here, to be honest. No, I mean, you can give shit to the Premier here.

I don't think you can give too much shit to the bloke over there and keep your hands. No, I understand that. No, absolutely. I'll back off on it. Their rules are their rules. I understand that. No. Absolutely. I'll back off on that. Their rules are their rules. It's their way or the highway

so to speak. Well that's a good name the highway bar. Oh right. That's what we need. We do need a bar. We call it the highway bar and then there's a big photo

of Hughsey next to it so does any Australian tourist driving past there what the fuck? Why is it called the highway bar and there's a big photo of Dave Hughes?

I could be there at any time. I might go there now. Because there's a big photo of Dave Hughes I could be there at any time I might go there now because there are a lot of Aussie themed bars there you don't need to say Aussie anymore

you just have Hughes' name there Hughes' face there we photoshopped Hughes' over the woman in the bathroom going look how small oh yes

absolutely me doing a catchphrase in the bathroom what can I say I'm losing it what am I doing I'm angry? Yep.

Wait a minute. There's something going on. Do you know Hughes? Yeah, yeah. You have a problem. A Hughes-y themed bar in a country that's not Australia. Yeah, that's amazing. It's such a great business.

That's amazing. I love this. It's what we're thinking about. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, so veering back off that, going back to Tarelgon and the pub called Saloon and the guy called Paxil Pete who comes all over the windows in his unit

which I found, great suggestion and I'm like, I love it. I go to respond to the guy and then the only thing more disturbing than the story about Paxil Pete

that comes all over the windows in his unit is the account that sent it to me which is called Willow and Wanton. I click on the account. It's an account for two dogs.

Someone's using their burner account. Yeah, yeah. Someone's using their toy poodle account to send, oh, yeah, yeah, this comes all over the fucking windows in this town. Come and stay there. Well, the dogs, they're out every day having a walk. That's how it's been. That's how this guy's been.

So Willow and Wanton are the dogs. Yes, we believe. Yeah, I'm sorry. Fair enough. So thanks, Willow and Wonton are the dogs. Yes. We believe. Yeah, absolutely. Fair enough. So thanks, Willow and Wonton. We'll follow up on that. Tarelgon. Again, not far away as well.

Oh, not too far away. It's the other side. So you're talking Colac Warrnambool. It is. Yeah, you're right. You can do two gigs, I think. I'm hearing a tour, to be honest. It's on the way to sale, I think.

Oh, okay. Not far from Inverloch who's in the lead at this point one thaggy what would you say oh look I'd have to go through

there was a great one near Bendigo that like there was some the only problem was there wasn't a lot of motels around but there's like

a tin shed that they perform there's a pub with a tin shed out the back it's like a bus stop where people perform inside the bus stop

and then everyone else just sits on the grass in front of them. I'm like, at least that's something. That's pretty good. It's a sweet highway to Bendigo as well. I bet you're working your nickname into everything. He loves it.

And the way we're going, it'll probably be an outside gig anyway. Yeah. So that's good. And I reckon we want this in January as well. So yeah, maybe outdoors is better. So Colac sounded good. There's a couple more one-off things I've got to investigate. But yeah, if you're out there, hit us up.

Email littledumbdumbclub at gmail.com or on the socials like everyone has this week. But yeah, need more suggestions. Loving researching the pubs and the towns that you're sending in. I mean, Colac is a shithole. I reckon that should be number one. It is. It's bleak. It's bleak.

And I like that. I don't want to go to some... You've got to be careful that's called shitholes because they get angry, mate. They get angry. And I've got to go through Colac to get to Warrnambool. I once broke down in Colac and my mum had to drive from Warrnambool to get me. Being from a shithole, though, I feel like I can say it. Maybe not

I don't know Yeah Have I told you Have I told you the time about When I had the issue with Portland Do you know Portland? Yeah Yeah

So I was I don't know if I've told you On this podcast But I once Was it on Josh's? We'll take it to Josh's Try it out on this one If it goes well

Back when I used to do Nova Breakfast in Melbourne, we had a thing where you either win a good holiday or a shit holiday. And so this particular event, you spun the wheel and you're either good or bad. Good holiday was somewhere like Thailand, and the bad one at this time happened to be Portland, which was my suggestion. And they spun it and they got Portland.

So they're at the airport, Melbourne airport, and they're going to Portland. So for all intents and purposes, that and they got Portland. So they're at the airport, Melbourne airport, and they're going to Portland. So for all intents and purposes, that's what's happening. And we broadcast that in the morning. Portland hears about it, gets really angry. The mayor of Portland took an entourage out to the Portland airport to meet the people. Oh, hang on, they've got an airport?

Yeah, they do. But also Alcoa, I don't know if it still is, but Alcoa, a big smelter in Portland. Massive harbour. My dad dreamed of operating a burger shop in Portland. We never got there, thank God. Just like my dream. So anyway, so the mayor of Portland's at the Portland airport

with an entourage to welcome these people to their beautiful city, even though it had been slagged off by this gap tooth on melbourne radio who's from warnable which is a rivalry arrival and the plane lands no one's there because our people had dodged it out of the airport and hadn't even sent them to portland oh sent them home so the mayor's gone to the airport no one actually landed so hang on so angry so they were never going to go to Portland. It was just for the theatre and radio. Apparently they had some sort of problem with the

ticket to Portland. For whatever reason they couldn't get to Portland. Surely they haven't oversold the plane. Surely. So we thought they'd gone to Portland. So then the mayor of Portland contacts me. So angry at the fact these people didn't even turn up

so he's been insulted they've been insulted and then they didn't even get the tourism anyway

so what I'm saying is back to calling country town shitholes Josh we've got to be careful

Colac has the lovely lake Colac you don't see that my first ever drive

in a car was around the Colac Botanical Gardens on my honeymoon what? your first ever drive in a car was around the Colac Botanical Gardens. Yeah, wow. On my honeymoon. What? Yeah.

Your first ever drive in a car? As in like... It was on your honeymoon? Yeah. Wait, you mean you driving the car, right? Me driving the car. Oh, okay. I really loved the idea that you had not been in a vehicle until your honeymoon.

And also, he comes from Tasmania. How the fuck did he get to Colac from Tasmania? Do they have an airport there as well? Or did they just move straight in? I'm trapped in a moving box. What's happening? This is first with my actual license. So I got my license, got married, because Beck was like,

I'm not marrying you until you've got your license. Oh, really? How old were you? 29. You were old? Yeah. So I got my license. No, 28.

Got my license. Then we drove because we were going to we were driving all around Victoria and then we were in Colac she goes

you're going to have to drive I'm like I don't know how to drive because she had I got my automatic licence she had a manual car so I'm bunny hopping all around Colac

just there because you've said you've got the licence you've gotten married now she wants the proof she's thinking this guy's lying because every other holiday we took we went to Tassie to a tour of Tassie and she had to drive You've said you've got the license, you've gotten married. Now she wants the proof. Yeah. She's thinking, this guy's lying.

Because every other holiday we took, like we went to Tassie, to a tour of Tassie, and she had to drive and couldn't see the scenery. And I'm there going, oh, look how cool this is. And she fucking hated it so much. And so on this one I'll drive. And so I'm doing like. So on your honeymoon you're finally doing it for the first time. Yeah. But I'm doing 10 around the like gardens there.

Yeah. And a woman came out, walked next to us. Are you guys all right? What's going on? And I was like, oh, we're just having a drive around the gardens because you shouldn't be driving around here. It's only for walking. You're in the gardens driving.

Well, it's a path. You can easily run someone over. Well, I was going 10. Hang on, is this your first time on a footpath as well? First hit and run. What a beautiful honeymoon. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Beck, your car's too big.

It's way too big for this road. That's a footpath. But I'm sorry, how did you get to 28 in Burnie? You grew up in Burnie, is that right? They moved to Launceston, and it was a good reason not to go back to Burnie. I know, but this is not like living in New York where you get the subway every day. You know what I mean? You're living in a place where the public transport's not that good.

No, I left at 17. And so I had no one to teach me. I understand there's a lot of comedians don't get their licenses for a long time because it's just commitment and it's growing up and everyone wants to stay a fucking baby forever. But if you're in the country, I was like a baby. I didn't get my license until I was 21 and I was thought of as fucking weird. Yeah, weird. My mate who lives in Burnie still is the principal of a school there.

He's 41, doesn't drive. Jesus Christ. He's got two kids. How does he get about in Burnie? He just walks. Does he live in the school? He's the principal as well. Makes sense.

Principals get picked up by his wife. God. The kids in Year 12 drive him home. That's great. Getting detention from the principal and then seeing his wife come God. The kids in year 12 drive him home. That's great. Getting detention from the principal and then seeing his wife come and pick him up from school. That's fucking devastating. You've got to quit the next day.

That's devastating. You can't go back. Yeah. Seeing some bloke get picked up and jump in the back seat of his wife's Corolla. No, I got my license the day I turned 18, got my license, and I was a terrible driver,

but I had my license. I remember driving my mum's Mini On my first day And nearly took out A motorcyclist You know You've got to look out For those people

You know So I nearly flipped my mum's Mini Yeah I got mine I got mine pretty early So we could go to Colac And we could go

We could do the Josh Earle Honeymoon reality tour Oh yeah right We could see where you Did a bit of Paxil Pete work In the windows of your start up on make our party

a lot of great sports people from Colac as well you've got Luke Hodge the Hawthorne champion Aaron Finch the Australian one day captain

so yeah there's probably more there's something yeah well we'll open with it and we'll ask the crowd if they've got any suggestions of other ones we could do

it's always a good sign of a town where it's like these people made good once they left here good version for leaving the town so how are we narrowing this down are we just going to wait until we've got like

a few suggestions and then we take a vote or are you just waiting is it just like when you get the right suggestion you'll just know immediately it's like this is it happy to keep hearing suggestions

happy to man there's so many I've got to wade through them all that's the thing you know it takes a bit of research i i tend to take too long to research everything i just want to i just want to make sure we get the right place i don't want to look up the pub you got to look up the menu yes exactly it's going to be perfect though you just got to just got to build it and they'll come man you've got to you know i know but i want i don't want to like i want to make sure i want to you know everything's perfect i don't just don't want to go somewhere and go oh this place is good yeah it's actually i don't want to go to a good place but I don't want to go somewhere and go, oh, this place is good.

Yeah, it's actually nice. I don't want to go to a good place. Yeah, but if you're going to somewhere perfect, there'd be more people there. You know what I mean? It's like we're going to a country town. I know, I know. Well, hey, we're in lockdown. There's nothing else to do.

I might as well just pour over every town in fucking Victoria at the moment. But all these old towns have their rival town as well. Yes. So if you get a lot of comments for, say, Colac, find out what Colac's rival town is. Is that what it will be? Might be Warrnambool. It could be Camperdown. Camperdown. Few votes for Camperdown as well. Yes. If you get a lot of comments for, say, Colac, find out what Colac's rival town is. Is that what it will be? Might be Warrnambool. It could be Camperdown. Camperdown.

Few votes for Camperdown as well. It's lush, man. There's a lot of rain. Camperdown is the birthplace of my father, so there's a bit of chamber history there as well. I could go and, we could all go and see where my pop did a come one time. I just love, I love country towns. I love that, you you know people just stay there

and never leave yeah well we did it could be us I'm from Maribor we went and you know I bagged Maribor for years and whatever

and we went and did a live podcast here what four years ago or something and I was like ah this is going to be funny everyone's going to think this is so shit

and everyone got up there and went this place is really nice it's beautiful and I was like I was there bagging it on the live show and you could just feel

the whole crowd go no this is a nice place. And all the tourists thought that. And then all the locals were like, who's this cunt? My dad, he said Warner was the best place in the world, Dave, and he'd never been anywhere. Great. You know what? Now I'm thinking maybe he was right.

Hey, they got COVID kicking off. They're not going into lockdown. It's not looking too bad. Heaps of rivers to fish in. What about this as an idea? What if we make it a little tour where we find two places that have a strong rivalry and we go, we're going to settle the rivalry once and for all. We hit them both.

Back-to-back nights, podcast in one, then a podcast in the other, and then we crown, which is definitively the Little Dumb Dumb Club crowns the winner of it, which is the better town. But you're going to get a town on a Friday and a Saturday. Yeah. You might have to leave a week in between. I think it's got to be the same night, I reckon. Same night?

Friday nights and Saturday nights are different. So like a 6 and an 8.30 show. Just like do the show Six till seven Jump straight in the In the band There's a go Yes Rip off to the 8.30 show

Yes On the same night There you go Wow Have two counter meals I love it already Oh this is good Rissoles in one town

Steak sandwich in the other I love a counter Who doesn't love a counter Yeah I don't hate this at all Yeah Fucking hell. Okay.

All right. Well, this is something to think about as well. Just a shit town having on the sign on the way in. The little dum-dum club crowned. Better than fucking... Well, it's a good idea that you said... I mean, I love the idea of shit towns, but you can't go too heavy on the shit towns

because what I want is I want a bit of press as well. I want to be in the Colac Herald. You want the keys to the city. That's what you want. Yeah, that'd be good. Yeah, they don't want to win the least shit town, do they? I want to be in the Colac Herald. You want the keys to the city. That's what you want. Yeah, that'd be good. Yeah, they don't want to win the least shit town, do they? They want to win. Yeah.

We've got Tidy Town. If they're at Tidy Town, you know, you drive past, everyone's happy. It might have been Tidy Town 981. It's still up there, isn't it? Once we bring our fans, I don't think it's going to be the tidiest town anymore. Have you ever been given the keys to the city of any town? No, I don't think I have. been given the keys to the city of any or town?

No, I don't think I have. I mean, my biggest honour was 2006 Commonwealth Games. I got to run the baton through Warrnambool. Yeah, that's right. But you didn't get the key to Warrnambool. That's a delusion. I don't think I've ever had the key to Warrnambool. Have you been King of Moomba? I haven't been key.

No, I haven't. No, absolutely. Is there a festival in Warrnambool? Maribor's got the Golden Wattle Festival, which takes place. They had the kids festival For many years But that's been cancelled It has been cancelled

I was booked to do The last one And they cancelled it on me Got paid still Looked into your history Because they cancelled The whole festival Yeah

It was a good festival Disappointing that That got cancelled It was a Warrnambool cold place Kids go down The middle Summer holidays

No winter holidays Middle of the year I did it the year before and got drunk with Jimmy Giggle so it was good fun Jimmy Giggle was he like don't the women

love Jimmy Giggle it's crazy I've been around a lot of famous people I've never had more people say hey do you mind taking a photo with me and the person

you're having a drink with more than when I was having a drink with Jimmy Reese love him absolutely he's pivoted to those he's doing what's he doing at the moment but I'm hearing a lot about Jimmy Reese. Love him, absolutely. He's pivoted to those.

What's he doing at the moment? But I'm hearing a lot about him. A lot of mums, I think. Yeah. I also got kicked off a whale watching tour in Warrnambool. Yeah, what were you trying to touch the whale? No, I was already where they were meant to be. And then I was watching and then they came and just went around me and they said, do you mind if we,

here I'm just going to talk about some whales that we can't see. And the guy – I've never heard a guy say flaps more in my life. He kept on saying whale flap and I just was like, this is too funny. I was there with my tech and we were laughing and they said, you guys are going to have to leave if you don't. He's flappy. He really loves saying whale flaps. They're very proud and mournable of the whales turning up.

So, yeah, they love it down there. Well, we had – Maryborough had the Golden Wattle Festival. That was our yearly thing except for the fact that I had the Golden Wattle Festival that was our yearly thing except for the fact they had a Golden Wattle Festival at a time of year where there was no wattle so yeah

I think it stopped after that that's if you find one it's golden because they're so rare at that time yeah yeah yeah it was more of a

yeah find it that's the whole point of the festival to find one pity was yeah you had to wait two weeks after the festival finished

I love the Ballarat's Begonia Festival, you know. And I love the theme song, come to the festival, Begonia Festival, come to the festival in Ballarat town. I just love that theme song. It's a banger. Growing up in Warrnambool, like Ballarat was our, that was our, that was the big city. You would be probably getting BTV6.

You'd be getting the Ballarat TV that Maribor got. Absolutely. So the big stars were in Fred Farger. Fred Farger, The Morning Show. Fred Farger, absolutely. The Morning Show, yeah. Glenn Ridge, old people remember Glenn Ridge. Sixers Super Saturday Show.

Yeah, and then he ended up in The Big Smoke. That was genuinely insane when he was like, that was sort of the most prestigious gig in TV. Sailed the Century Host. But he was our cartoon show host. It was crazy. He's gone from Saturday morning on regional TV to all of a sudden, seven nights or five nights a week, network TV.

It's like anyone can do it. If Glen Ridge can do it, anyone can do it. He's gone from hosting Heckle and Jekyll and Rubik the Amazing Cube to the biggest gig on TV. Taking over from Tony Barber. Yeah. It was incredible. Our minds were blown. It over from Tony Barber. Yeah. It was incredible. Our minds were blown.

It was a big get for Country Victoria. It was huge, man. It was huge. It's like us who do comedy in Australia watching Ronnie Chang get on The Daily Show. Exactly. Wow! Hollywood movies now.

Maybe I could get on SNL. They see me up at Catfish one week. It could happen, man. It could happen. Well, fingers crossed. You know what I'd love? We go into this country town and surely if we have listeners that are there, maybe we'll get lucky and we have the connections to make this happen.

I'd love some school kids to come out and do a project on us. I'd love a school assignment being done about us. Or the content. You might have to water down the content. I know we're going to have to talk about the window guy. Okay, that rules out that town. Maybe less of a project, more of an excursion. Maybe a year 12 media studies excursion.

You go in, tell them what podcasting is, how to get involved. I still don't think the year 12s are going to wander in with a teacher and some of the content. It's got to be an issue, guys. When I was in year 12 doing media studies, we went and watched The Play of Lantana. It's all about couples fucking and cheating on each other. And also, in the country, when did you sneak in for your first beer

in a pub in Warrnambool? It would have been early. Oh, 15. There you go, there you go. Yeah, my brother was a scuba diver diver so I had his scuba diving licence so that's what that was your ID it was my brother's scuba diving licence

similar look and it was like I used to get and of course in the photo he's got the gear on so he can just like take it off did you wear the gear in there

and they just poured the beer down the funnel but you know what that would got me that would get me front seat of the taxi all underage drinkers know that you get a taxi through the funnel. You know what? That would get me front seat of the taxi. All underage drinkers know that you get a taxi through the bottle shop. Yeah, yeah.

So, you know, we're in a taxi. Of course we're 18. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was in the front seat with the license, and I used to ask, who wants some beer? Who wants some grog? And give me the money. Yeah.

I would drink for free. Oh, that was the trick. Unbelievable. I would drink for free. Yeah, give me the money. I'll buy it. I used my friend's ID, and her name's Moya Chavon. And the guy at Bird, never seen the name Moya before.

And Chavon spelled S-I-O-B-H-A-N. So he didn't know what that was. And I just put on a kind of pretend Spanish accent and got some beers. Right, right, right. So it wasn't photo ID? Yeah, it was photo ID, but she had a shaved head. Oh, okay. And it was like, yeah, here we go.

This is me. This is great. I love it. I'd be keen to see a picture of her. I'll ask her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll find it for the listeners. Great, great.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, see, that's doable. I'd like to have some underage drinkers in with us. Yeah. That's very doable. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, give some country kids their first drinking experience. Their first comedy.

What are they drinking? They're drinking. Some kids in the country absolutely love comedy. Yeah. And they'd be like, yeah. We were those kids. Absolutely. Kids who were like not knowing that they don't check IDs at comedy shows.

Yes. Oh, yes. Yeah. Because you do see them occasionally. Like you run a gig and you see younger people there and you're like, you can tell they're very... I don't always check ID. Don't worry about me.

They're very eager. Like, they get there as soon as doors are meant to be open. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're in the front, yeah. Yeah. I saw Rodney Rood years ago. That was my first comedy gig was Rodney Rood. Yeah.

So, at the Lady Bay Hotel in Warrnambool. So, yeah. Oh, the Lady Bay. Mine was Jim Owen and I was in grade seven and I sat in the front row oh and I wanted him to talk to me so much really and now I realized oh he would have fucking hated this he would have walked down went oh there's two fucking kids in the with Rodney Root I was halfway back but it was like there's probably 800 people maybe I don't know at least 500 people there maybe a thousand I know, I don't know. In the Lady Bay? What a capacity in the Lady Bay Hotel.

The Lady Bay was a huge hotel in Warrnambool, all the big bands. We went and saw Hunters and Collectors there one night, and my mate, Marno, he grabbed the lead singer of Hunters and Collectors, Mark Seymour, at one point grabbed him and said, play your old shit. And this is true, and I've told Mark Seymour, and he vaguely remembers it, Mark Seymour and he vaguely remembers it. Mark Seymour

punched my mate in the face so hard and it was just a badge of honour for my mate. So the leads of the Hunters Collective punched him in the face

for trying to get him to play his old shit. Well, wherever we end up Colac, whatever, we're happy to play our old stuff, guys. So no need to punch us in the face.

I'll be doing my Sunshine Johnson gear. I want someone to grab me and say, Snake's alive now. I'll just punch him in the face. What a different era where you could be in a band and just deck someone in the crowd and then just get on with your life.

Yes. Not on social media the next day. Not cancelled. It's like you're in trouble when we develop this at the chemist in two weeks. It's got the date on it, so there's no mistaking what actually happened.

But back to saying Rodney Rood Rodney Rood I need to go to the tour it's so bad but I thought if I leave

halfway through he'll just call me a cunt. You know? And I almost died through and it was just I could not get up. I was so fucking

scared that he would call me a cunt. Did anyone else get up and get Yeah and people love that was the part of Rodney Rood he he would call me a cunt. Did anyone else get up and get... Yeah, and people love... That was the part of Rodney Roy he did. He called you a cunt and he loved it. So at halftime, he would sell his merch at halftime,

which is always... What? Yes. And I've never done it, but you have a halftime so you can sell your merch. People can't... They're halftime. They're not going home.

Just halftime in a comedy, in a solo comedy show is already fantastic yes I love it can I also say normally you say interval but with Rodney Root

I'm sure it's half time yeah yeah siren goes off he would be there and people would line up and buy his t-shirts whatever he was selling and he would write

you're a cunt Rodney Root yes and he would double the money that he made for the night you know what that's so odd

because that's very you know very rare in comedy you've got your band t-shirts and your merch and everything and you're always selling t-shirts of the band for the night. You know what, that's so odd because that's very, you know, very rare in comedy. You've got your band t-shirts and your merch and everything and you're always selling t-shirts of the band but even we do

the podcast t-shirts but it's very rare. Like, you know, you've been the biggest comedian in Australia forever but there's no Dave Hughes t-shirt. No, I tried to sell them once

and it was just depressing. Having said that, there is a Josh Earle t-shirt that you can buy. No, it's a podcast t-shirt. No, it doesn't say the podcast on it though, does it? Oh, no, the new one's there. Oh, there we go.

You've got a Josh Earle t-shirt. Well, it's just my face on it, so yeah. Yeah. Mate, I would be selling t-shirts right now if they sold. Because everyone said, hey, I want this poster on a t-shirt. So I went, all right, there's the t-shirt. But you must be the only – it's you and Rodney Rood that have got T-shirts with your faces. I'm in very good company.

I'm very happy with this. Just call me Rodney Royd. But you're making some money. Why not? Yeah, they're selling. Yeah. Mate, again, if my T-shirts had a sold, I wouldn't be here right now. We need a Hughes fashion label to start up.

Highway by Hughes. Exactly. And I'll sell it, you know, like Hamish Blake's wife. My God. Is that why you want to get into tech? Right, to make that huge payday. Or you get your wife into tech, maybe. That's the better idea.

Hughes is getting into tech. Hughes is Elon Musk. I love him. Mate, I did, in 1989, true story, I did my university course, information technology. It was the first year that Swinburne offered this course. 1989, true story, I did my university course, information technology. It was the first year that Swinburne offered this course. 1989, I had a scholarship to do it. And if anyone knows the history of the internet, it really kicked off around 1990.

In 1989, I was there doing IT, looking at the coding on the board, going, I can't be fucked doing this. I was there, I left before I had to pay Hex. What a shame. I had to get out of the five-week mark so I didn't have to pay the Hex. What a shame. If you had have gone through, you might have been rich by now. Because my brother-in-law's partner wrote the code for Shazam.

What? And when he told me what he was doing, I was like, who's going to use that? Just wait until the back announce it on the radio if you really want to hear the song. It's called Google Delirious. What? He wrote the code for it.

Where does he live now? Well, he didn't come up with it. He just wrote code. The guy employed him to be the coder. But now he does the Guardian app. That's his job. Oh, wow. He's rich.

Right. Good on him. Wow. Is he from Tasmania? No, London. Yeah, right right does that mean so he's gone from inventing Shazam

to inventing to doing the Guardian app what is the Guardian app do you just hold it up to people to see if they're left wing or not yeah I'm keen on

I did a gig the other day like a Zoom gig with a bloke who wanted he's doing an IPO for a thing I won't say the name of it, but you can Google it.

The name is to say that it's an app that helps people with their delivery so you can see where the delivery driver is or where the trade is. And I thought, that's a good idea. So I've invested in that. So I went through an IPO only a couple of weeks ago. How's it going to go? It went from 20 cents, what the investment was, to 80 cents in one day. It's quadrupled.

It went up quadrupled. It's now gone back to 45 cents. It's still up. It's still up. I haven't sold. Get Woofie involved. If your T-shirts didn't work, that's one thing. That's Woofie now.

You could become the first Australian comedian with an NFT. You know what they are? No, what's that? They're like the digital... Non-fungible... Non-fungible tokens. They're like digital artworks that people are selling. They're like crypto.

So it's like a form of crypto, but people are paying for like a one-off, like a digital image of Husey. Really? Maybe it's you doing a little joke. And these go for like hundreds of thousands of dollars or whatever. Is that like the memes? Like the Charlie bit my finger?

Yeah. Isn't that... You can buy the original of that. Yeah, yeah. It's worth like hundreds of millions of dollars or whatever. Is that like the memes, like the Charlie bit my finger? Yeah. Isn't that? Yeah, you can buy the original of that. Yeah, yeah. It's worth like hundreds of millions of dollars. You auction off the original Snakes Alive bit as an NFT and send someone that owns the rights to it. Can we do that?

Can we do that? We can employ someone who thought that shit out. Talking about you seeing Rodney Rood and that being your first comedy experience, do you know what my first comedy experience was? What? Dave Hughes at the Prince Patrick Hotel. Oh, my God. The first gig I ever went to. Wow, back in, it would have been mid-90s.

Late 90s. It was you launching your CD. I reckon it was 2003. I reckon 2001, I reckon. Okay. Maybe two. Okay. Which CD?

Whatever. I think it was whatever. It was you, Dave O'Neill. Yeah, who was working with me at the time. Maybe two. Okay. Which CD? Whatever. I think it was whatever. It was you, Dave O'Neill. Yeah, who was working with me at the time. Justin Hamilton. Yeah, right, yep. And Narrowan's very own Greg Fleet. Oh, wow.

Who was hosting? I believe Justin Hamilton. So he was the first comedian you ever saw on stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was the launch of that CD. I think so, yeah. And that CD actually was, who did that CD was Liberation. You couldn't say Liberace for some weird reason.

So the CD was $20 or if you saw Fleety around the back, $15. There you go. There you go. The merch table looking a little light at the end of that gig, I presume. It was just an empty case and he was going to post it to the actual CD later. It would have been 2003. There you go. There you go.

I probably had a similar thing. I want to go to the toilet, but I don't want Fusey to absolutely eviscerate me. He'll get angry about someone walking out of the gig. I know. You love to get angry at people, don't you? Yeah. I love to start gigs on time, like in theatres, and they say, you want late comers? No, just bring them in as they come in so I love to start gigs on time so that like in theatres so that and they say you want what

late comers no just bring them in as they come in so I can just hang shit on everyone and people in the front row who are

late and go well don't talk to me well you're fucking late you booked out you booked like months ago and here you

haven't even fucked turning up on time you know anyway it's good stuff alright we'd better wrap it up there

for another week on the little dum-dum club. Dave Hughes, I mean Highway, thank you very much for joining us. Josh Earl, thanks very much for joining us. Thank you. I've got a gift for you all, by the way. If we're doing plugs. Yes, do it.

Here you go. You need to get a thing of Physio Cream. Okay. They're my sponsor and they sent me all these Physio Creams. Is this true? Yeah, this is true. I'm being sponsored by. Why would you be sponsored by Physio Cream?

By Big Physio Cream. I love it. Temporary relief of muscular aches and pains. I'm being sponsored by... Why would you be sponsored by Physio Cream? By big Physio Cream. I love it. Temporary relief of muscular aches and pains. So I got a sore back, mate, and they sent me a whole hamper, and I can't get through it all. It's got an expiry date on it, so I'm giving them away. I actually use this. Yeah, there you go.

I'm not going to give you something shit. But you're actually getting paid. I want you to be paid by them. Yeah, I'm getting paid. Good. Why? Can I say... Why are you getting paid by them?

Can I just say, I love physio cream. There you go. Hey, you're not getting paid by them. No, I know, but I love people pivoting. I love it. I love being, I love people, I love sponsorships. So do I. Physio cream.

That's with an F for people who are Googling. It's F-I-S-I-O. Physio creme. Yeah. I'll tell you what, when I'm backstage at a comedy gig and I'm watching Josh Earl insist on giving a massage to a new young female comedian, I always say, do not do that unless you are going to use physio creme.

No, I want to open up and smell the creme. Can I smell the creme? I'm sure it smells good. Why is there a connection between you and Physiocream? Because on my podcast, I talked about it. They sent me a thing and said, can we sponsor you? Because you mentioned it. Who the fuck are we talking about all sorts of shit?

We don't get hit up by this. This is like a great, like, just being an old white comedian, just taking what you can get. It's like, okay, I'll be the bad back guy. That's my only thing. Do you know how Dan Aykroyd only talks about his skull? That's me with Physiocream. I was on the beach today and there was a water bottle Do you know how Dan Aykroyd only talks about his skull? That's me with Fizzy.

I was on the beach today and there was a water bottle from Mount Franklin's fully recyclable bottle that had washed up. And I picked it up and right of myself, because I do the voice of an ibis in that, and they rolled that commercial over, which was a sweet moment for me. You don't have to do anything and you get paid second time. And as I put that bottle in the recyclable section of the public bins, I thought, I hope it gets rolled over again.

And I have physio crema with you for a long time. If it gets rolled over again, we open the... He's got a water bottle. He's got a water bottle from them as well. He's got a hat and a t-shirt. I can't smell it. I can't get it open. God, it's got a good smell. them as well. I've got a hat and a t-shirt. I can't smell it. I can't get it open. It won't lick in your bag.

Why are we buying a bar in Coastal Moon? We should be sponsored by a bar in Coastal Moon. We should be using our... It smells good. It takes me back to the footy change rooms. Back in Warrnambool. I'm going to get out and kick 10 goals after rubbing some of this on me. I'm going to fall down the stairs and do my back so I can use this tonight.

My girlfriend genuinely will love this. She's got a bad back. I know that sounds like a crazy boast. I'm going to be back in form tonight. Look at that. Have a look at that little one. It's like Pack Your Pete's windows right there. Take me to the window.

I'm going to splatter this all over a window tonight. All right, so check out PhysioCreme if you've got some back aches and whatnot. Also, Don't You Know Who I Am, Josh Earle's podcast. Thank you. Out every Thursday. I'm coming up with Dave Hughes, Highway. Absolutely. He's on the morning.

Yes, two-day FM, all right? 104.1. Check out the listener app. And also, when this comes out, the Masked Singer is still going. When will this come out? This week. This Wednesday? So we'll have just had the grand final.

Okay, then. Who won? I can tell you now. Oh, yes! He's in there! I can't tell you, guys. Get on 10. It's sacred.

You already know, though, so it's weird. Is it Dan Andrews? But I can't imagine that. I love that. Get on TenPlay and watch it. Exactly. Yeah. All right, guys.

The spinoff of The Masked Pega, of course. Yes. Yes. I love that. Thanks very much for listening, everyone, and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. See you, mate. And they've done it again.

Oh, boy. We are live. They've done it again. Oh, boy. We are live. Bernie's kicking a big one live at the Catfish Bar in Fitzroy, Melbourne, Australia. Thanks to them for putting up with our sweet hot heinies. Yeah.

And the first venue to allow Talking Dum Dum to happen in it as well. Oh, yes. Yeah. So it was worth thinking about doing in a park today, but it was absolutely shitting down rain. Absolutely. So, yeah, go support was absolutely shitting down rain. Absolutely. So, yeah, go support the catfish. Say thanks to them. Great food in at the catfish.

Great little bar in a very lovely little pocket of Melbourne. Maybe we can order some food mid-talking dum-dum. Oh, that's not a bad idea. To be ready for us by the end of it. Yeah, that's great, actually. Did you scan that QR code? I did. Oh, no, there's one on the table. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Did you scan that QR code? Oh, no, there's one on the table. Yeah.

Fuck yeah. Now you're talking. I mean, we're either doing that or if it's not legal to do that at the moment, we're not doing it and just talking about it because this is a comedy podcast and we're joking. No, you can go in there and order. Okay.

They're open to the public. Okay, then it's not comedy then. It's not comedy. None of this is comedy. But yes, Bernie's kicked a big one. Highway's kicked a big one. Highway's kicked a big one. Great to have him back on the show. Very great to have him on.

He's, you know, worth bringing up the whole Twitter thing there. You know, he's a bit of a polarizing figure in comedy lately, but we love him and he's great and he's funny and no need to, you know, hopefully people didn't look at the episode and sort of go, oh, he's on. No, he's great. He's the best. He's the funniest. He's funny and no need to, you know, hopefully people didn't look at the episode and sort of go, oh, he's on. No, he's great. He's the best. He's the funniest.

He's funny. Yeah. He's more often than not says yes to doing this. When he can do it, he'll come do it. He doesn't need to fucking do this at the moment. He's up doing breakfast radio. And he's also, everyone's lost their mind a bit in lockdown. Yeah.

Everyone's got an element of that. He just happens to have a fucking massive reach while he's losing his mind. That's it. Yeah, everyone's got an opinion. Yeah. Everyone's got an element of that. He just happens to have a fucking massive reach while he's losing his mind. That's it. Yeah, everyone's got an opinion. Everyone's got something to say. Some of them are just driving their partners insane with it. Others have a few hundred thousand followers on their social media platform and seem to want to get on there every five seconds.

Yeah, some people are loading up their backpack and shitting all the way down a bridge, right? And some people are fucking broadcasting to a million people. Yeah, yeah. So thanks to the great man for being very funny on this thing. Lovely stuff. Very fun episode

and again, once again, great to get off Zoom, great to be in a room together. Hope you guys appreciate the difference you seem to be and all the feedback

we're getting. So heaps of fun. This was a last minute venue change. The reason that we're in the Catfish. We won't go into it. But yeah, we got some options now. I think we're going to be able to...

We're going on tour. I think we're going to be able to ride this thing out until we're allowed back in the same room. Yeah. Hopefully. Just keep doing venues. My usual venue, the Basement Comedy Club, they're keen. They've heard about this and they're keen to host this four-person broadcast. They want the rights to it soon.

That's actually, that would be funny. Like, what's the best venue? Could we just like hit up the Flower Drum and be like, hey, you're not open. Yeah. If you want to plug, can we come in and do it? Get down to Crown. Get down to Rockpool or something. Any place that's still, I mean, they're still serving food.

They're doing cook at home little boxes and stuff. Oh, they certainly are. I got some. Did you really? Yeah, not great. A place that you, look, apart from everything else, it's the experience of going to Rockpool and sitting there and having Milan by your side and all that sort of stuff.

But yeah, don't get fucking some cunt on a bike delivering you a steak, I would have thought. Well, did you have it? How was it? You had to finish it? You had to cook it at home? You just got the cut of meat? I mean, that's the bit.

I mean, I've had stuff from a good restaurant on that website, and it's been, obviously it would be better in there, but it's still, it's been a good, it's tasted really good, but the thing with a steak, it's all about the fucking actual cooking of it. That's the big issue. Yeah. Yeah, so look, that's what Don't Say Your Name wanted for a steak, it's all about the fucking actual cooking of it. That's the big issue. Yeah. So, look, that's what Don't Say Your Name wanted for a birthday, and I was only too happy to provide it.

But I did give the suggestion of maybe a different form of food might have been more easily achievable to a great level. Yep. And I think we all learned that lesson that day. It was fine. But, you know, we paid a lot of money for something that was okay. Maybe we should try and do that before we're allowed back in the same room. Just hit up a very glamorous venue and just see if we can do a five-person broadcast in there. Yeah, yeah.

Be like, what's that place in the Rialto? The restaurant that's up on the top floor. Just doing this with a beautiful view of the city. Yeah, sure. Oh, yeah, something with a view. If we could just do it extremely, like a place that, of course, you're never going to be able to do a live show in or record anything in, but just go, look, here's what we've been doing.

Maybe you'd get lucky and the person has a bit of a sense of humor about them be like look we promise we'll come back in for a meal when we go however we've got to grease the wheels we'll do a bit of an ad for you whatever it is even if people are listening out there that people that live in mel people that have a business people that have um maybe maybe this is the thing you know we've been talking about country towns bidding bidding for us if you're in a business business in Melbourne at the moment that's got at least a decent view or something a bit of fun about it, we'll come and have the four of us come in and record an episode if it's a bit of fun in there for something different. If you've got a link where you can get us in to do a four-person broadcast

in a venue that is kind of interesting and lavish enough in a way where like as if we're ever going to be doing anything like that again once they're actually open yeah while they're still closed up and getting ready to get back open again josh made a good point on the episode this isn't a loophole it is an actual rule that is printed up in the current restriction so we're not taking the piss. Yep. But, yeah, get us in at that. I mean, it doesn't help that I can't actually remember the fucking name of it, but, like, top floor of the Rialto. Oh, we know the Rialto.

We know the Rialto, yeah. We only need to know where the building is. We don't even know the name of the place. Rialto is not one of those hotels that are taking in overseas people. No, no. People at the moment. Returned travelers. Returned travelers. Because I know, what's the other place up the other end of colin street i keep thinking of that place but

i'm pretty sure that's now one of those places what's it called the um at the top end of up the paris end of colin street oh the grand hyatt no the uh anyway whatever yeah whatever it is it's a it's a cool place it's one of those cool buildings where you go up the top and no one's stopping you from just going in and going to the restaurant up there. Yep, yep. And you sit there. I used to go there a bit and you'd just go up there

and you could just eat fucking peanuts and drink beers and have a great view up there. Sofitel. Sofitel. Sofitel, yes. Sofitel. That would be great. If you've got a link to somewhere like that.

Well, like I said soffit tells return travelers i think i'm pretty sure so yeah not that one not that one not that one no return if you can get us into a return travelers hotel um yeah we'll do that we'll do the whole thing in high viz if you want and uh protective protective gear that's fine yeah happy to do that oh you're saying we we like leave the country for just like a day come back and then get put up in hotel quarantine yeah to do two weeks' worth of podcasts. Yeah, we do that with a bunch of guests so we can bank up the episodes in quarantine.

Yeah. We take like us and 10 of us. We just go to like, I don't know, Christmas Island for like 45 minutes, turn around and come back. I'll go to Albury-Wodonga on the plane, come back. Yep. Awesome stuff. And yes, a lot to follow up on with the country towns

yeah get in touch chugging along with that if we're booked to do a live show in your state or city that'll once things open up that'll all be made a little bit clearer

there's no making that any clearer at the moment you guys will figure it out we'll figure it out it'll be next year let's assume. Perth and Brisbane, we assume. Looking forward to things opening up.

Looking forward to doing this country gig. Looking forward to doing probably a bunch of Melbourne shows. The big 500s at some point. All that sort of stuff. So that'll be on the cards. Down the track a little bit, but at the moment, not so much. Closer to home, though, you can get on the Patreon. Patreon.com slash Littleledumbdumbclub.

You can get yourself two bonus episodes every week with great guests. Always a lot of fun on them. Been some great ones recently. And more importantly, you go into the draw to get your name read out and therefore immortalized in this segment of the show. Oh, it's like having your handprints on the footpath on the uh the walk of fame in in downtown hollywood california isn't it yes like having uh your uh your dirty asshole stuck into that wet cement and just your your your whole your rectum being um immortalized forever yes

your whole print on the footpath is there anyone who's gotten the call from the walk of fame and they've been like, I'm only saying yes if I get to put my arsehole on there instead of my hands? What if we, you know what this, you know what would genuinely be quite good is if we found out, if we somehow could find out through a local council when someone was putting some fresh cement down on a footpath and then we just like get our top ten guests of all time. Yep. And just make one little bit of the dum-dum walk of fame.

Right, and we've had to go out to fucking the middle of nowhere. Like we just, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We could even, you know, you know what? There would definitely be tradies that listen to this show that know how to fucking pour cement and all that stuff. If we could just make our own footpath in the middle of fucking nowhere somewhere

and then make our own walk of fame it's only just one bit of concrete it's one one path yeah yeah yeah you do find like areas where you've got like house and land package kind of area and there's a park nearby that they sort of started to develop and then gotten bored of or would it like they'll just be i went to one on the weekend and there was a path that just kind of stopped. So it would be easy enough to just put like a new little, just like one little tile of concrete down. Yeah. Enough for 10 handprints.

And just, that would be perfect for us to have, to immortalize the Hall of Fame guests from our show on a path that goes literally nowhere. Yeah. Perfect. Perfect. Great. Little ceremony. People can come down and watch us do it.

Giving people a lot of homework this week. But yeah, if you know how to do that shit, let us know. I think that would be genuinely good. Yeah. So we need good venue to podcast in, good country town to do a live podcast in, and a slab of concrete. Yes. And a bar in Thailand if you've got one. Thanks. Thanks, guys. Yep. All right. and that's we're not even you know and a bar in Thailand if you've got one thanks thanks guys

yep alright thanks to everyone who has continually subscribed to the Patreon to patreon.com slash little dumb

mum club or just go via our website where you can find all the merch all that sort of stuff have a look around the episodes

that we've got on there we've got little pictures on all the old school episodes we're always being hit up by people that are somehow finding us then going back in time and listen to the whole the whole you know back catalog so um look it's it's you can do that on all the streaming services

or you can you can do it off our website and um find all the little pictures that we've got on there and find out what our all our guests look like and what we look like 10 years ago and all that sort of shit um and uh get yourself a little little little merch we're running low on the merch at the moment actually there's probably a few little items that maybe we don't get a reprint to so uh if you go on there grab some of the last sizes on there some of the little bits of merch and maybe we'll make some new shit um but let's get on to this thank you very much to Patreon subscriber number one this week. First cap off the rank for this week. Thank you very much to Jake Simpson.

Jake Simpson. Jake Simpson. Very nice. Very, very nice. So I got distracted before by the ice machine in the room that we're in. The ice machine. Yeah, they're making ice for no one. A few slush puppies being fired up up here, are there?

Is there someone wanting some ice delivered on Uber Eats at the moment? Yeah, yeah. I mean, we did have the bar manager say, help yourself to any soft drink in the fridge, which wasn't a fucking indication. And again, that's comedy if that's not allowed. No, I think getting the softies allowed. He was very clear.

I think it's serving of alcohol that is allowed. Right, right, right. Just taking a little... And also, we wouldn't buy it. Just taking a little Coke. It's just a gift from a friend. Just being given a little Coke. Yeah, yeah.

He also said, get some ice out of the machine if you want. I'm serious. Oh, did he? He specified... Oh, that's why the ice machine's on there. It's like really having the red carpet rolled out. Why didn't you say that earlier? I want to have some ice with this Coke I've got.

Oh, really? Fuck. Do you want me to go get you a glass now? Love ice. What could be more of a touching tribute to Jake Simpson than getting the co-host of one of his favorite podcasts a glass of ice during his name? Oh, yeah. Right.

Is this like he's buying me a drink right now? Yeah, he's giving you some ice. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be good.

Man, I love a bit of ice with a drink. Love it. I could have fucking walked outside and gotten some from the bloody sky half an hour ago. Yes. Have you ever had the, I know we've talked about this a long time ago, but ever had the ice with the beer?

No. No. I don't know that I've, yeah, I don't know that I've ever tried that. Some people are into it. I'm absolutely not. I do love, this is a thing I share with uh b friend of the

show b blake love that frosted glass especially in the in the in this in southeast asia i mean who doesn't yeah well some people don't but some i mean this is the thing that you know we there's an item that we've run out of the stubby holder we probably won't get that reprinted but um thanks to everyone who bought that that's a great item but I fucking do not like stubby holders. I never use one. People want their fucking hands all nice and warm, and therefore, oh, maybe it's not warming up the beer. It keeps the beer cooler is the point of it.

That's why for outdoor drinking, I'm generally not, I wouldn't have one by default at home, but if I'm going to the park and I'm taking some drinks especially some of those drinks by the time you get to them they've been sitting in the if you don't have an esky with you they're maybe

you know they're not keeping as cool as they could be feels like the stubby hold is kind of the last gasp to keeping it nah just a little bit cooler

nah won't have it not into it feels you know feels like feels like a condom you know not fun might be safer might be better for for everyone involved but not as fun Won't have it. Not into it. Feels like a condom.

Not fun. Might be safer. Might be better for everyone involved. But not as fun. I will say getting the can and it absolutely freezing your hand. That's a good feeling. Yes. That's like you know.

It's like testing the heat in the oven when you've got something in there and just being like something's really happening here. Something's really about to go down. It's like having, you know, I wish I happening here. Something's really about to go down. It's like having, you know, I wish I didn't have to have an iPhone cover. Yeah. The product itself without the cover. What a beautiful fucking bit of machinery. I have that every time I see an iPhone in a shop.

I go, I'm going to get a new iPhone. I want one of these. These look awesome. And then being like, oh, that's the exact same model that I have. Yeah. It just doesn't have the case on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just haven't uglified it yet. Yeah. I haven't just chunk that I have. Yeah. It just doesn't have the case on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just haven't uglified it yet. Yeah.

I haven't just chunked it up. Yeah. So the beer bottle's a beautiful fucking figure. Yeah, yeah. It's a Marilyn Monroe-esque vessel. Yeah. And I don't want to fucking put a big old tea cozy on it. But yeah, I'm with you, but I am guilty of using it every now and then out of necessity,

out of like being out of the elements without an esky. I don't blame anyone for using it, but I mean, I actively encourage people to use our one. Yeah, that's a good point. But I'm not into it. You're going British style, just having it absolutely warm as and going, oh, this is fucking wonderful. This is. I'm not.

I'm just not clasping it in my hand and trying to fucking heat it as much. You know, I won't just sit it in my hand all the time. I'll, you know, maybe I'll, I'll, I'll massage the neck of it. Maybe I'll just sit it down near my feet. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not actively trying to make it any warmer. You know, I want it as cold as anyone.

But I've got the, I got the big mug in the freezer at the start of lockdown. I never drink at home, but now I have to drink at home. Now I've just tried to recreate Thailand at home and fucking have the big old – import the Changs in, get the big frozen mug in the freezer. I've been doing it. I've got one pint glass that a friend of mine stole from a pub once, and now it's just at my house. And went and got the big growler, the big, big – the, like, liter and a bit. just at my house yeah and uh went and got the big uh the big growler

the big big um the like leader and a bit kind of bottle flagging looking thing yeah and uh there's some pubs that'll just do you like out of the tap they'll fill it up for you for like 25 bucks or whatever yeah have that in the fridge pint glass in the freezer that comes out and then you're just pouring yourself a tap beer into a big pint glass right fuck it is heaven yeah yeah that's good um yeah fuck i've um but i i would say the stubby holder i'm never putting a bottle in there it's can only oh really yeah because exactly what you're saying with the bottle you got you got a little thing that you can hold so you're not getting it too warm got that little hold onto it up the top of the lip. Just for the can, for that like, it's not really affecting the durability of it too much.

Yeah. I would have said this a long time ago, but, you know, maybe it hasn't stuck in people's heads. Maybe. Who knows? But beer bottles, soft drink cans, and not the other one. I really do my best to not get out of those two things. Never the twain shall meet. Yes.

I don't do bottles, soft drink, and I don't do cans, beer. You don't like a Coke out of a glass bottle? No. Oh my God. No.

I'm not into it. A Coke in a glass bottle on a beach? No. Beautiful stuff. No, I don't like it. Don't like it. I like the can, and I don't like beer out of a can. I like beer in a glass bottle on a beach? No. Beautiful stuff. No, I don't like it. Don't like it. I like the can and I don't like beer out of a can. I like beer in a bottle.

I just don't really drink any beers that, like, there's very few beers now that are, like, new. Or, like, craft beers, certainly, they're not putting them in bottles. No. No, they're not, are they? Oh, yeah. You're very limited. You're very, very, if you walk into a bottle shop and you go, look how many beers they've

got. Yeah. Maybe, like, 5% of them are in bottles. Yeah. And I'm getting those 5%. And the rest is all cans. I'm getting them. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Cans for me, I don't know. I like the idea of cans. And that's why I appreciate the Fanta can, the Solo can. Yep. The Coke can. Yep.

But yeah, just, that's, can't do it. Can't do it. Can't do it. Very black and white with me. Well, this can be a new poll that's really going to set the listeners alight. All those requests that we made, null and void now. This is the only thing we're going to hear about during the week. Yeah.

Yeah. Who agrees with me? Who doesn't? Thanks, Jake Simpson. Thanks, Jake Simpson. Thanks for provoking such a passionate subject matter Thank you very much too How did we get from fucking Simpson to that?

How did we do that again? Distracted by the ice machine Oh okay So we didn't actually appreciate his name in any way No Alright Okay I mean what is there to say?

Who would Jake Simpson be in The Simpsons? Would he be Some sort of cousin Some sort of Has there ever Jake Simpson be in The Simpsons? Would he be some sort of cousin? Some sort of... Has there ever been a cousin in The Simpsons? I can't even think. There's Homer's brother, played by Danny DeVito. Oh, that's right.

His long-lost brother. And he didn't have any kids, did he? No. Yeah. No. Is that his only sibling? I think so. Yeah. You think in 30 or only sibling? I think so. Yeah.

You think in 30 or 40 years. That reeks of, I mean, neither of us have watched it in a very long time. That reeks of that's been an episode where they've crowbarred in a celebrity voice. It's like, oh, Bart's cousin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That you've just not heard about in 30 years for some reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All of a sudden Lady Gaga is Bart's cousin.

Timothy Chalamet and Lady Gaga playing Bart and Lisa's new cousins. Yes. Sorry, Matt Groening, if you're out there, sorry for that disrespect. But thank you very much to Patreon subscriber

Pranit Valab, let's say. Pranit Valab. Pranit Valab. V-A-L-L-A-B-H. Wish we'd riffed on The Simpsons and saved the ice machine for this one. Pranit. Pranit. Pranit.

Pranit. Okay. V-A-L-L-A-B-H. Okay. Valarb. I guess. Valarb. I usually pride myself with this shit, but I'm not confident on this one. Valarb? I guess. Valarb? I usually pride myself with this shit, but I'm not confident on this one.

It's tough. It's a tough one. Valarb. Pranit Valarb. I think that's as close as I personally am going to get. I think you've done a great job. Thank you very much. I certainly couldn't have done any better.

Thank you so much. All right. Fuck this. I'm looking him up. Okay. I'm looking him up. Going deep. I'm looking up this character

Yep Is it I mean, do I Do I guess on his nationality? Do I I mean Nothing's stopping you He's certainly

It's safer to not He's certainly subcontinental Absolutely Yeah That's as That's as That's as narrow as I'm prepared to get in the guessing though. Yeah.

It's what it reeks of. You having any luck? No, I'm having less luck with the internet to be fair. That would be the major problem in looking something up, not having any Wi-Fi. Really hold you back in my opinion. Bold. All right. Let's have a look. Where is he? Let's have a look. you back, in my opinion. Bold. All right, let's have a look. Where is he?

Let's have a look. Come on, Pranit. I'm all juiced up. Why aren't you coming up? We're ready to go. We're on a hot one with the ice machine. We need some stuff to go on. What have you been...

I mean, what I'm really looking for is I'm really looking for confirmation that it is in some way an Indian name so I can... Talk about how you love butter chicken and... Yes, basically. I've been ordering a lot of it from your old... Where you used to live. Oh, we... We talked about this, didn't we?

No, did we talk about this or not? We talked about how there's two fat Indians near my old house. No, we... And then there's three fat idiots. No, three idiots. But did we talk about this in IRL or on the show about how your house is up for rent? Your ex-house. No, yeah, off the air. I believe my old apartment is still up for rent.

Let me just check if it still is. There we go. There we go. He's from India. Thank you. Beautiful. All right. Two fat Indians.

Great restaurant. Go check it out. Let me see. He's from India. Thank you. Beautiful. All right. Two Fat Indians. Great restaurant. Go check it out. Let me see. Oh, this is awesome. This guy actually lives in India and he listens to this show. This couldn't come up any fucking... India. Yeah, India.

There we go. Well, that takes so long. I was about to go, fuck, I've really danced around everything. I've been really nice about everything. Then I nearly said, look, the first picture on his fucking Facebook page, him with the Taj Mahal. Then I click on it. It's not the Taj Mahal.

It's just another building that looks a bit like the Taj Mahal. Just another big opulent building. That's surprising. That's how racist, that's the racist downfall I have, is for a building, not for a person. You think every building is the Taj Mahal. They're not all the Taj Mahal, mate. And it turns out you've nailed the pronunciation of the name.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Couldn't have been clearer on that. Yeah. I've just. So he actually lives in India. Yes. Wow. What a world.

India. Yeah. It does blow my mind that we have someone in India. India. India. That is waking up in the morning and going, oh, a new episode of Little Dum Dum Club. I better listen to that.

We've talked about this before. Like countries that are outside of – like I wouldn't have ever – when we started this, I wouldn't have thought, yeah, one day people in India are going to be checking this out. So that's what I mean by a country that's not the norm. I just mean it in those terms. I just mean it in not Australia. Like, people that, you know, when we started, people that we don't know is the thing.

Why the fuck would anyone that doesn't know us listen? And also, why the fuck would people who know us listen? But what fascinates me about someone in a country like this listening, where it's not one we ever would have picked, is are they just going about their day listening to it by themselves? Or is there like a little commute? You know what I mean? Like are they telling their friends like, hey, you've got to check out this Australian podcast.

Like the idea of just you being one person in India listening to this and never trying to get anyone else on board and you're just in isolation hearing like Hughsey and Sean McAuliffe and all these Australian people. You have no fucking idea who they are other than the context of this podcast. Yeah. And just keeping it to yourself is fascinating to me. Well, what if this guy is more of a, like, you know, he speaks English. You'd hope so if he's listening.

You'd hope he's not subscribing to our Patreon and just listening, going, I have no idea what these cunts are talking about. He could be trying to, you know, teach himself. You know, he's like, I'm learning this language. If I download a thing that has got far and away the roughest use of it, where they're just really having their wicked way with this language, if I can understand that, I'll be able to understand fucking anything. Well, maybe this is level 10 of learning English.

Maybe this is it. It's like I've learned all the Queen's English and the proper English, and now there's this fucking weird strain of English that these cunts are responsible for. The Delta strain of English. What if we found out that 50% of our downloads are from English as second language classes, prescribing this as a textbook?

It's like, listen to this, and then you're going to be quizzed about what happened in the episode. Oh, look, I'm not saying this. This is a real what if, but, you know, what if Pranit, you know, worked in a call centre in India and just was like, he was the opposite of what you're saying. He didn't keep it to himself. He was telling all 10,000 of the people in the call centre,

you've got to get on to these guys. We're looking at our numbers going, fuck, we get good numbers. And then we find out, no, no, no, 90% of that is from India. We're going to live shows in Australia. We're getting a couple of hundred at all these guys. We're looking at our numbers going, fuck, we get good numbers. And then we find out, no, no, no, 90% of that is from India. We're going to live shows in Australia. We're getting a couple of hundred at all these shows. We're going to do one in New Delhi. Fucking hell, we're in a stadium. Yeah, we're doing the Christmas party at this call centre.

We get flown over. No, no, no, we're doing stadiums over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the interesting thing we hear back about India is that, like, India, that stand-up comedy is a very new thing over there it's a very new thing yeah so they're sort of so we'd go all right yeah well not really you still bomb not really because we know people that have gone over there and um you know where everyone you know it's been around for quite a while over here and everyone's trying to reinvent the wheel

and there's all these textures and you're trying to do something different and edgy or no one's heard before you go over there and you just go what's up with fucking cats and dogs and people like what the fuck yeah yeah yeah good point good point it should be like if the country being a big hack over there if you go over there and just be real fucking shit they just haven't heard it before right it should be allowed that if you do yourself isolating for years tour over there oh yeah i'd be killing yeah it should be a rule that if there's a if the

if the country that you're going to is stand up is a new enough art form there you're allowed to just go and do whatever you want

yeah street jokes snakes alive other people's snakes alive just doing all the just all the hits like you put together

because I yeah you're right I mean I would be I mean I've done stand up in ages I'd be fucking scared about doing any gig at the moment but in general yeah going to a place like that i would be like it would be like i did gigs in china and it was like what the fuck do people want to hear yeah yeah like you can really really overthink it what did people want to hear in China? Good question. What did you learn off the other comics that were on the bill?

That it's pretty easy to do comedy in China. Oh, really? But were they sort of... Some of those countries over there, I hear that they lean on sort of race-based stuff. Actually, yeah, yeah. That was the big thing I took away was that, yeah, everyone, like, Shanghai is like a big city where a lot of people have moved to from all over the world.

And so people would get up and do stuff about, like, every kind of minority. And pretty much every kind of minority was either in the audience or on the bill. And it kind of felt like, in the audience or on the bill. And it kind of felt like, you know, here in Australia, we love to say like, ah, but we give a bit of a serve to everyone. But it's like, we also have these like big problems with like international students and the kinds of things that they go through and like people who've immigrated and whatever else.

But like being in a country that is like truly a big melting pot where it's like, I don't know know to my eyes they didn't have as many of those problems and it's like you can actually kind of tee off on everyone because it does all feel a bit more equal if that makes sense that's a lot of justifying of you saying the n-word in china well you know what there was one night when i was doing the gig before i was on there was a uh i guess mandarin uh language comedy night on Before Me. So I'm sitting- And you thought you'd get up and have a crack?

Yeah. I actually tried to get the guy who ran the gig. I was like, can I send you my stuff? And if you translate it phonetically, and then I'll try and get up and like read it. And he's like, I don't know if you know how language works, but that's not going to work. Oh, really? No. But so listening into this gig,

there is a very commonly used word in that language that I kept hearing through the wall throughout the set that is basically the N word. Wow. I'm just basically hearing this word again and again and again, sitting there going like, fuck it now I feel like I'm back at the laugh factory yeah yeah 2007 and then you're like oh i don't have to translate all the words in my set then that's already in there exactly yeah

right okay mandarin already but yeah that was my and look i could be completely wrong you've been mandarin for years i could be completely wrong about the um the the breakdown of um of different uh of different people in Shanghai. So apologies if I've gotten that completely wrong. But that was how it felt to me. It felt a lot more, it just felt like people were getting up and going, you know, fucking Indian people, they do this. And like everyone in the crowd's loving it.

Whereas it just felt, I mean, maybe that just shows that they're a bit like they haven't caught up to wokeness or whatever. But it felt like at a time where it was like seeing someone do stuff like that here would just be an absolute no-go. Yes. Yes. It'd be, yeah, I don't know, India.

India. I would love to do comedy in India. I'd love to go to India. I don't know if I'd love to. I think I'd shit myself to death, but that's part of the appeal. Yeah, I think you would too. Yeah.

Yeah, I think most people would, but you've got a bit of a delicate little tum-tum. I would need to be – I think I would plan an itinerary that was – I'd plan to be there for double the amount of time that I wanted to. So it would be each day, here's a – Have a fun day. Here's a fun day and then the next day there's no plans just in case. I would be keeping – let's say I want 10 days there.

Well, I'm gone for 20. Right. I'm just allowing myself double the amount of time for recovery. Fun day, bum day. Fun day, bum day. Exactly. Hey, sometimes the same day. All right.

Well, thanks, Pranit. Thanks, Pranit. Hope – let us know. Let us – I'd love to hear the exact context of how – where you are when you're listening to us. If anyone else you know in India listens to us as well, if you've ever passed it on to anyone else. Yeah. I mean, it'd be great if he does just live in Melbourne

and he's put India as where he's currently living as a joke from this podcast after hearing that episode with Sam Mack. I also love the idea that Prentice may Prentice may be like, you know, like from Slumdog Millionaire, but the early part where you're in the slums and you're listening to us and still thinking, this is pretty shit. Those boys sound like they've got it harder than us. They're over there stuck in their house with Netflix and imported fucking Thai beer. They sound like they're going out of their fucking minds.

Thanks, Prentice. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Sam Blissett. Ooh, Pranit. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Sam Blissett. Ooh, okay. Blissow. Yeah. I feel like this guy, I recognise this name. Yeah. I feel like I've

been seeing this guy on the socials. I just double checked. Almost from day one. I feel like this guy's been around for a long time. You know what? Speaking of, fucking Facebook's been hiding our shit. I guess everyone complains about that at some point. But it feels like in the last year they've had a bit of an algorithm change. So if you're a fan on Facebook, go and find us out.

Give us some likes. Put it back in your algorithm. Twitter, especially if you used to follow us on Twitter, go and find us. And a lot of people blocked us when we got hacked by yeah yeah by a fucking a bitcoin fuckhead um uh hacked us and took us over and blocked us or unfollowed us whatever it was yeah get on re-engage with us and all that sort of bullshit if you can helps us out a little bit that'd be that'd be um a bit of fun. Thank you very much. But Bliss-O, What have you got? No, not too much. Okay.

But, you've got the name, you've got the word Bliss in your name. That's pretty good. It's a good start in life. Yep. I think. Yep. So it's subconsciously a very positive connotation. Ah, Bliss. Yes. Exactly.

Just for you and me, that one. S. Blissette. The female bliss. There we go. The female orgasm. So this guy's a fucking myth. Yes. Doesn't really exist.

Yeah, this guy's very hard to make work. Yeah. Yeah, in my personal history. No, not true. Not true at all. Not true at all. I'm a very skilled technician. Please elaborate.

Everyone wants to hear more about this. Oh, look, just laying some groundwork. If ever my wife comes to her senses and gets the fuck out of Dodge, just putting in there so that someone out there is going, there's something about, I can't remember why, but gee, I'd like to get eaten out by Chandler. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why.

Yeah, I don't know. There's something, something rings a bell. Yeah. Something about that rings a bell about him ringing my bell. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it was around episode 580, he changed his catchphrase from hey dick, dickheads, to I love eating pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

To what's that? A fifth orgasm this hour? Oh, okay. That's a bit down on usual. That's my new mouthful, which ironically, yeah. Yep, yep, yep. Anyway, Blisso. But Blisso, he'd be, yeah, I mean, he'd be out there hitting the back wall, surely.

Well, like I said, good start in life to get a strong, like Sam. Sam's a good name. It's fine. Bliss is a good name. You could see a, you know what, fuck it, I'm looking him up. Go in. I'm looking him up. Have a look.

Looks like a, I keep thinking, quite a rock-jawed character. Yeah. Like a Mountie. Yeah. No? Don't think so? You think a snivelling little worm, you think? I mean, I don't know.

I just don't know how many rock-jawed Mounties we have that listen to a podcast. Yeah. I posted something in our Millionaires group about something I was cooking on the barbecue recently. And I should have known That the absolute Fucking grill masters In there fired up What a rookie error

Commenting about barbecuing In a Facebook group For a podcast Yeah Of course the fucking Bearded Bearded craft beer Trucker hat wearing

Yeah Masses came out Yeah To fucking Baste me alive Yeah I take it all back He looks a bit He looks a bit Looks a bit more dorky Okay masses came out to fucking baste me alive. Yeah. I take it all back.

He looks a bit more dorky. Looks a bit more like the sort of person that would listen to us. Okay. There we go. You know, and that's not a diss. That's just a fact. Yep. Can you swing your screen around?

Well, look, this is, I've opened on a particularly bad picture, to be fair. Okay. What do we got? If you're listening, Bliss, I'm looking at you with fucking round glasses and a big fake mow and you're next to some dork with his shirt open. So, sorry. I'm judging you on that. At a costume party kind of thing. Well, I don't know.

I'm trying to find a more fairer pick. Yeah. More fairer pick. Yeah. But, well, look, mate, none of your picks are too complimentary. Yeah. They're all a bit jokey and dumb. Yeah, those people that you find where it's like,

God, it's hard to get a good read on this person. Yeah, yeah. And some people love that. So knowing that the person who, yeah, has only ever set their profile picture to be like weird screenshots or whatever, knowing that they'd be going, yes, you're not getting a clear look at me. You're not helping.

But anyway, he lives in Melbourne. So, yeah, I don't know. Maybe not too much bliss. Not at the moment. He's from New Zealand. Okay. There you go. What a fucking bio.

What a history. We've really, this is your life. Sam Blissett. Went to a costume party once. Yeah. From New Zealand. Can't take a decent, half-decent picture of himself to save his life. Yeah.

Despite being gifted with the nomenclature of the gods. Couldn't buy a female orgasm for love nor money. Well, potentially true, considering one of those jokey pictures of him is him getting kneed in the nuts by some other bloke. Oh, is it really? God, that's classic. Yeah. Why not get that

up on the internet? Thinks of himself as a regular Steve-o, does he? Look at me getting whacked in the gonads. Yeah.

Fuck, that Jackass movie is out pretty soon. Oh, fuck. End of October, I think. Fuck. Get us back. Keen on that and the James Bond.

That'd be good Oh really? Bond? What? You don't like him? Nah What? Nah What the latest

What you don't like Fucking What's his name Daniel Craig I liked Casino Royale Yeah great movie All the rest The one after that

Quantum of Solace Was fucking terrible Well I don't think It was great The one after that Was good Which one was that? Sky of Solace, was fucking terrible. Well, I don't think it was great. The one after that was good. Which one was that? Skyfall? Yeah, that was good.

I don't know if I ever saw Skyfall. Oh, that's good. That was the one. I just, James Bond is a character I've never really cared for. People that still get excited about a new James Bond, I just, I don't get it. I guess I just relate to the character, I guess. Maybe you're different. Right.

But, yeah, a lot of the same sort of things. Yeah, just pretty cool. Right. Yeah. I mean, he's pretty probo. I think that most people seem to think that his approach to women is, you know, sort of rooted in a previous era. Oh, there's rooting.

That's what we share. That's what we share. That's what we share. More groundwork. More groundwork. More groundwork. It is going to be weird seeing that film. It's funny because it feels like Daniel Craig has been trying to get out of that role for a decade now. Everyone has been like, I want out.

And then I think this is actually it, right? Yep. But then also it's been so delayed with its coming out that he's still going to have to do press and be thinking about it for way longer than he wants to. He made it two years ago. He made it more than two years ago. He made it probably three years ago. No, I think it'd be good. Look, I'm not an action movie watcher,

but I'll watch this one. Okay. I'll watch that stuff. As long as it's supposed to be all right. I didn't watch... I'm not a long-term James Bond fan, but the Daniel Craig one, he's a good actor for the role

they've we're in an era where they know how to make those set pieces pretty well yeah yeah um on you know if they go to someone else after this I'd have to reevaluate I do like him as Bond it's just one of those franchises where it's like the history of it is like they're so all over the place yeah you kind of never know what you're getting when a new one comes out and at a certain point I just go, I just don't really care anymore. If I hear it's great, I'll go check it out

but I'm certainly, you know, it's like they bring out the new poster or they reveal the title and it feels like people on Twitter are like, oh yes,

we've revealed the title of the next James Bond movie. It's like, who cares? It's always surprising to me how many people there are that still really, really care about the franchise of James Bond. Yeah's like who cares it's always surprising to me how many people there are that still really really care about

the franchise of James Bond yeah yeah well anything with a bit of history like that if you can

relate it back to something people get to say this isn't as good or better than something else so anyway

who cares thanks Blisso thanks Blisso thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Matt Fletcher oh okay oh you got something no Thanks, Blisso. Thanks, Blisso. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Matt Fletcher.

Oh, okay. Oh, you got something? No. Just tickled me. Oh, okay. Okay. Nothing for this. No, I'm thinking we're good. Oh, wow.

Fletch. Fuck this. The movie Fletch. Oh, yeah. There's another franchise. A two-movie franchise. I think they're rebooting it, aren't they? Yeah, was there a second one?

Yeah, Fletch and Fletch Lives. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I think there's a new one out. Yeah, they are rebooting it. No, sorry, I'm thinking... Sorry, I was thinking it had come out recently on Disney+, but you know what I'm thinking of instead? Turner and Hooch.

Oh, yes. There's a Turner and Hooch reboot on Disney+. Yeah, because I thought of that too. Yeah. Yeah, very similar. Probably coming out very similar years, nearly. Oh, no, I reckon Fletcher predates it a little bit. I think for some reason I've always thought of them as kind of the same thing.

They're interchangeable with each other in my head. Never seen either of them. Would always walk past them in the video store. I guess maybe similar looking covers. You know, just in that weird way with your childhood brain where they're just, things just get linked inexplicably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the CH. That's what's done you in.

That's all it is. The last two letters of each title. Fletcher's worth a look, I think. Okay, alright. As long as it, to you, doesn't look too much like an old person's movie because it literally is, what, fucking nearly 30 years old now or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or more than, it's more than 30 years old.

What about Turner and Hooch? I didn't watch it. Wouldn't know. Watched a few Hanks's recently. Yeah. Fucking love a good Hanks. Nothing better. Examples.

What did I watch that I'd never seen before? You've Got Mail. I'd never seen it. Never seen that either. Good watch. Young Hanks. Yeah. Funny to just remember a time when it was like just a run of about 10 years

where he's in movies and the whole point is, all right, ladies, you want to fuck him, don't you? Right. Even younger than that's better when he's like a real energetic guy in the 80s. Yeah. Go back and have a look at something like The Money Pit or something like that. Okay. Yeah.

I know this isn't a Hanks, but it's cut from the same cloth. I'd never seen When Harry Met Sally. I watched that recently. Never seen that either. Pretty good. Yeah. I think it holds up.

Good watch. They're classics. Yeah. They're classic free-to-air watches, those ones. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You've been watching something else on the other channel at the same time. What have you been watching when you've got mail and when Harry Met Sally has been on TV? You've been watching something else on the other channel at the same time. What have you been watching when you've got mail and when Harry Met Sally has been on TV?

You've been watching fucking Tango and Cash. I actually don't even, I don't own a TV. I actually prefer books. Right. When you were in the 90s, you were just poverty then. Yeah, yeah. No, you're right. Yeah, I do.

They were classics that I would see come on, but halfway through, I'm like, this isn't the way to consume a movie. Right. This isn't the way to do it. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay, that's pretty cool.

Yeah. Yeah, and you just, what did you do just then? Just went and jacked off to porn instead? Yeah. So I'll wait 30 years for Netflix. Yeah, for a streaming service to be invented, and then I'll watch it on that. That's good.

Yeah, Fletcher, solid last name. Like it. Like it a lot. Like it a lot. It's good. Matt's a fine name. I think it's good. Mm-hmm.

What about this? This, I don't know, this, how's this? Matt is the name of a brother of an ex-girlfriend. Okay. This reminds me, the last time, I mean, look, I don't think this is that bad of a thing. This is a while back. I looked up an old girlfriend on Facebook. Yep.

Just to see. Yep. What they're doing. We've all been there. Yeah. Well, not all of us. That's allowed, isn't it? Not something I girlfriend on Facebook. Yep. Just to see. Yep. What they're doing. We've all been there. Yeah. Well, not all of us. That's allowed, isn't it? Not something I would ever do.

Right. Can't think of anything worse than seeing what an ex is up to. So you don't... But it is... But people do. You don't watch movies on TV and you don't look up exes on Facebook. No. What do you do?

Looked her up. Didn't see her, but saw the sister. Right. Weird moment where I saw the sister and that was basically a, but this is so long ago. So wait, what happened? You put her name into the search bar of Facebook. Yeah. Already fraught with peril.

Yes. Because you could accidentally be on the status bar. Oh, right. Yeah. I know someone who did that. Oh. Well, that wouldn't be me because I'm banned from fucking Facebook. Someone who had fucked someone and then the next day went to look him up on Facebook

and accidentally put his name as her status and didn't realize so. It was just there. For ages. For ages. That's great if someone nightmare that's someone if that was on purpose

if you fuck someone and every time you fuck someone you just put their name as your status yeah yeah yeah as some sort of notch on your bedpost and you notch on the belt

yeah I love that that's so I love that especially if like you then got into a relationship and you're like no I have to keep it going

so every time you fuck your long-term girlfriend, you just put it up on the status. Yep, yep. That's great. But the thing is, because it's like, you know, it's very embarrassed when she realized it, but the reason she's looking him up is because she's not friends with him on there already, right?

Right. And she's trying to track him down. Right. So he's not going to see that. And to anyone else, it's just like, oh, she's just posted some random name. You know what I mean? Like, it's your first reaction when you get told that if that's you is to be like mortified. But realistically, it's like most people seeing that just being like, oh, yes, I don't know.

I don't know why she's posted this name. But most people, you're saying that most people, not you. You clearly know the story. So it must have happened. It must have been seen through by everyone. I didn't see. I've been told this anecdote. This is a housemate, an ex-housemate of mine.

But again, someone's figured it out. Someone's looked at it. Well, because she knew that she'd been with this guy. And I was like, hey, I assume you were looking him up. You know you've just posted his right and she's like no that's so good i i still i still like that that idea even on even if you you just take it to instagram just post your entire account is just people you fucked on the day you fuck them just to put the pictures up the other

funny thing about it is that this was someone who is a the the person that she was trying to look up is a public figure not like not like in sight like not like everyone who saw this would know who it is yeah yeah but it's like would i know who it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like... Would I know who it is? You might know the... I'll tell you off air. Right. I shouldn't say it, but it's not like... I don't think you would recognise the person name, but a thing that they're affiliated with, you might.

Okay. So it's kind of specific enough that some people would be like, what? Right. Who's she posting about this? I don't get it. Right, okay, okay. So to some people, they're not just like... That's just a random word. would be like, what? Right. What is she posting about this? I don't get it. Right. Okay. Okay.

So to some people, they're not just like, that's just a random word. They're going, oh, they must be a fan of that person, whatever they do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what's the context of this? Yeah. Right. Absolutely. Wow. This is intriguing now.

Yeah. But so you, so wait, so you put in ex-girlfriend's name into the search bar and then the sister just comes up? Well, it's a bit of An unusual name Okay Yeah yeah But is she just Not on Facebook

Well I didn't see her there She might be on Under a fake name Or something Maybe yeah So the sister I love that Facebook That's funny that Facebook

Goes like But here's her sister Well I think You scroll down Long enough Okay And then it starts Giving you other options

Okay Yeah yeah yeah Okay And then get the sister And then it starts giving you other options. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And then get the sister. And then the memory from back then of like the little sister, like very young. And then I haven't seen or thought about her since then, like so long ago. And then she pops up as like four reasonably grown up kids.

I'm like, fucking hell. Wow. Okay. A real reminder of, fuck, that was quite a while back. Yep, yep. Yeah. The old, last time I saw you were in school uniform. I mean, sure, you were still 30 years old, but like, yeah, no, not really. Not really.

But yeah, fuck, that was weird. Well, thanks, Fletch. Thanks, Fletch. Matt Fletcher. All right, well, that was weird. Well, thanks, Fletch. Thanks, Fletch. Matt Fletcher. All right, well, we better do one more. Yeah, it's getting on. Are you going to order or not? Do you think you'll order?

I'm still undecided. I was a bit of a pig over the weekend. Yeah, me too. I'm wondering if a little cheesesteak is the right thing for me to do. Yeah, maybe we shouldn't. But I also have not really eaten today, so. I know. I, today, I was such a shithead over the weekend that yesterday I cracked it and went, right,

that's it. And then today, I did a 24-hour purge. Okay. Didn't eat for 24 hours. You mean a fast? A fast, yeah. Yeah. Makes it sound like you just spew it up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Makes it sound like you got bulim it up. Makes it sound like you've got bulimia now. Well, I did nothing but eat. I didn't eat and I did nothing but shit, I guess. So from then until then, I was minus. Cleansed. Yeah. Now you're ready to reset the clock. Well, yeah, I did.

I had a reasonably, an okay lunch. I just shouldn't be, but I can't be doing the fucking eating once a day and then having 24 hour fucking fast every day yeah yeah that's brutal I should have something

I just had like a couple of muesli bars for lunch so I'm fucking yeah muesli bars yeah I had a I had a sandwich

I had a sandwich and a few veggies um the point is we gotta eat whatever it is whether it's back at home or whether it's a little sandwich here, we've got to eat.

So let's just do one more name. Yeah, yeah. We're going to hit the trail. Yeah, okay. Well, let's do this. Whenever you're ready. Yeah. Love to get out of here as soon as possible.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me too. Me too. But just... Just waiting for it to load. Again, what I said about the Wi-Fi, it's tough sometimes. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.

Trying to get back online again. Yeah, there does seem to be some connection issues. Trying to get online here. There's been just a little bit of a delay. I mean, if you can help with the Wi-Fi, maybe you can crack the code. Yeah, what do you want me to – what do you want? Can you – oh, look, anything. Anything that you can do to help the Wi-Fi would be great.

So I can get online and get this name out that we're waiting on. Okay. While we're waiting for the Wi-Fi, I mean, what have we been talking about? Oh, we can just reminisce. We were talking about Bond. We were talking about looking people up on Facebook. We're talking about The Simpsons for a bit. We're talking about ice machines.

We're talking about glass bottles versus cans and stubby holders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. a bit we're talking about ice machines talking about like glass bottles versus cans stubby holders yeah yeah oh god i mean i feel like that's uh fletch we're talking about tom hanks yeah talking about watching movies on tv all right i think i think the wi-fi it's connected the wi-fi is not great but it's back yeah it's very patchy it's very very bad it only needs to spit out one batch how good does this connection need to be? Very batchy. It's just one bit of text. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. It's possibly the smallest amount of data you can download. Oh, it's small.

It's going to be small. Oh, it's small. Okay. All right. Fifth one for this week. Fifth and final one. Thank you very much, Patreon subscriber. Thank you very much, too.

India Comedy. Okay, great. Great. We've never done that one before thanks india and thanks uh everyone who listens and supports the show patreon.com slash little dum-dum club is where you can go get the bonus episodes support the show head to little dum-dum club.com for the merch and uh yeah the dates that we currently have lined up will be somewhere yeah in the country soon check out the people who are supporting us at the moment.

Come down to the Catfish when things are open. Grab yourself a cheesesteak. Grab yourself a beer. If you live in Fitzroy, it's a very nice little part of town. If you're in the city, want to dive? Take away from them. They're open now. Yeah.

If you want a dive bar when things open up in the city. It might only be a few weeks from when we're recording this, I guess. Go and support our mates at Spleen. Yeah. That's it. All right. Thanks very much for listening, guys, and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.