The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 578 - Andy Lee & Mike Goldstein

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

We're finally back in The Masturbatorium 2.0 with ANDY LEE and MIKE GOLDSTEIN! As things start to reopen and get back to normal in Melbourne, we're focused on one of the biggest delayed events of the last couple of years: Mike's wedding. Chandler's fascinated by the location and we're ALL fascinated by the possibility of an updated guest list post COVID! We also revisit Chandler's wedding gift saga, as well as some social faux pas on the first day of eased restrictions. Meanwhile, Andy's tracked down a stranger from a flight, Tommy's had a tense negotiation with a taxi driver PLUS we FINALLY reveal the location of our upcoming country town live show!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Mike Goldstein and Andy Lee. You are going to find out in this episode where we are doing our country Victorian gig and when that is happening. So listen out for all the details of that. And also... Easing restrictions in Melbourne, in Victoria, mean that we can do our 500th episode finally at the Athen AM. Saturday, January the 15th. Your tickets are still good for that date they got moved a little while back

make sure you've got the tickets, some people will have forgotten there are limited tickets left but it is actually happening, get real ready littledumbdumbclub.com for all that info if you still don't have a ticket and yes tune in to this and you will hear more info about the Country Gig, we will be back

to talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dum Dum. But until then, enjoy this new episode with Mike Goldstein and Andy Lee. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. And with me, as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler.

Good day, Dickhead. And joining us today, two very special guests. Please welcome back into the Little Dum Dum Club, Mike Goldstein and Andy Lee. Yes. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes. Good to be back. Big stumble there.

Big, big stumble. I was just, because as I was saying Mike Goldstein, I was thinking how weird it is that you don't go by Mike G anymore. And then I was about to say Andy was saying Mike Goldstein, I was thinking how weird it is that you don't go by Mike G anymore and then I was about to say Andy G. Oh. Well, did you go by Mike G for a while? I did just because, you know, huge Beastie Boys fan and I thought it would be cool.

So you're done tinkering with your name? Yeah. Or you're like, you know, Andrew Gunzberg. Yeah. Who was Andy G, then Andrew G, then Andrew Gunzberg and now Osher Gunzberg, who was Andy G, then Andrew G, then Andrew Gunzberg, and now Osher Gunzberg. Right. So what part of the evolution of your name are you up to?

Your name might be because you've gone to full Goldstein. You're getting more Jewish as you go on. Are you going to be like Yamakard Goldstein? I'm going to change the first name. I'm going to get Shlomo Goldstein Rosenblatt. You could get a Berg in there somewhere if you really wanted. Okay, so we're at what?

Phase two? Phase two. Phase two. So unlike the evolution, like the monkey we're kind of like the end of the land. We're just getting out of the water. Oh, gee, it's just started.

So I feel like, yeah, embrace the Jewishness because, you know, diversity goes a long way these days. Was that the strategy? Because I don't remember a press release going out of like, please call me Goldstein from now on. It's all of a sudden like, oh, he's not going by just the one letter anymore. He's really leaning. There's a lot of people,

I think if you gig in Perth, there's a lot of times of like, come and see Mike G. They haven't, they're refusing to go along. Are you known in Perth? What's that? Are you known in Perth?

Well, I used to be the king of Perth. You guys are friends now. Before Basil Zempler stabbed you in the back. So talk me through that. You were big in Perth. I was big. I mean, big in Perth is like just emceeing at the comedy lounge twice a week. All right.

You used to live in Perth. Yeah. I knew that. Yeah. No, I was just there doing stand up for seven years eight years or something yeah so no they look up to you

over there we did a bonus episode with you where we where we talked shit about some people on the Perth scene

thank god it's behind a paywall and a few of them listened to it and then you were getting messages like really disappointed mate you moved to Melbourne

and then you turn your back on the community start ragging us behind the paywall you guys had a big spike in numbers from perth comics that were wanted to hear if they got shit on that shows that the the mining boom is still

going on over there and then open my comics can still afford to join our patreon spend money to listen to something that's being kind of uncharitable about yeah yeah it must be nice yeah yeah we've done it about every other city in australia no one's joining in the other city so it's just a Perth thing no yeah we haven't done Brisbane yet we could do Brisbane

maybe there'd be some high flyers up in Brisbane who want to chip in yeah get Mel Buttle she'll shit on everyone for sure yeah

that's the plan at some stage totally totally we are just out of lockdown in Melbourne so this is like is this the first one

back in a house that we've done yeah and we're add 10. Yeah, they're coming. Six more guests? That'll be just as awkward as Zoom. You know, like everyone talking over each other.

Perfect. So we're getting back to normal. We're getting back to, you know, whatever it is, approaching all, hopefully. Now, things are going to start to get rescheduled. We've got live shows that need to be rescheduled. Think about that. Mike G.

Yeah. That's your maiden name. Thank you. You've got something to be rescheduled. What's the plans with that? Oh, the wedding? Oh, that thing. The wedding, the big wedding.

Yeah. So, we're a year out of the first canceled, well, the first canceled one, because I'll have future canceled ones, I'm sure. But we actually haven't planned for shit, man, because her family's all in Perth. You'll have future canceled marriages. Yeah, exactly.

That's what I'm thinking of. So we haven't planned for shit. We're waiting till we can go to the States and get back in without quarantining and all the rest. I know you were really hard up to get to Hawaii and hang out. I was invited, so I was gone. Did you make the invite? He did.

Exactly. Since being crossed off by Shannon. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I know. Yeah, pretty impressive. I told her, I was like, look, I still got to get booked at his room.

He's got to come along. I get a lot of wedding advice related to that. Don't worry. What about Tommy? Was Tommy invited? Great question. Good question. Great question.

Tommy and I's friendship has burgeoned since the initial invite. Lockdown's brought you closer together. It has. It has. We were FaceTiming every day. So is there going to be a serious review of the list? That was going to be my question. Andy, are you on there?

Well, that's what... I wouldn't be on there. No, you are. No, you are for sure. Oh, wow. Hey, is he signed off? Is he signed off? I'm a careerist.

I'm an opportunist. Yeah, look, if I'm a guy that runs an open mic and I'm getting on the invite list because of his career, I think you're getting an invite. Yeah, for sure. So, yeah, there's definitely people who would be dropped from the future. Yeah, okay. Well, that means if there's people being added, there's people being dropped. Dropped, for sure.

So, have you got that worked out already? Yeah, definitely. Because this whole thing has made people more insular and your bubbles, you know, are more defined. And there's people I haven't heard from in, you know, two years since we did the initial list. Really? And did that initial, sorry to interrupt, but the invite list, did any invites go out?

Would they know that they were, okay. Yeah, we sent the invites the start of March 2020. Right. So, these people that are getting dropped off the list, how are you alerting them? We're just not alerting anyone. Oh, right. So, if they rock up on the day.

So, if they find out through Carl, the time and date. If they rock up on the day, if they turn up to Hawaii, with the old invite. If, say, Carl's out with someone who has been dropped off but doesn't realize, and they turn to Carl's out with someone Who has been dropped off But doesn't realise

And they turn to Carl And they go Hey when's Mike's wedding And Carl And I've got a necklace With flowers around my neck Going it was yesterday But say in this hypothetical

Carl doesn't know They've been dropped off Yes And Carl goes Oh man It's coming up It's in five weeks time Gee I better get booking.

Yeah, well, I'm staying here. Yeah, well, come and stay with me. Is that a possibility? And are you alert to that? Wouldn't they be so insane to think that the invite goes forward? You know what I mean? I don't think that's insane. Without being verified of the new date.

Yeah. I don't think it's insane to assume that you're invited still. There would be an awkward chat for us where they would contact me and be like, hey, you know, I saw Carl and, you know. This is like a golden ticket. This is good for like whatever wedding you have coming up. The invite stays current. It's not like a, you know, it's not like an instant win thing

with McDonald's Monopoly where it's like you've got to look expires on the 6th of 2021. Like a massage voucher. But, I mean, most tickets, if you're going to a big event, they'll go, oh, we will take this to whenever it is, coming up later on when we delay it. Did your initial wedding invite have a barcode? No, we should have had a barcode.

It should have had the expiration date. This was all, yeah, it should have been more loud I want to see who's getting dropped for Andy then I want to see I want to see this one in one

can I go hypothetical you don't have to name the name say Dave's dropped I'm Dave phone rings bring bring

you pick up hey Dave yeah well you obviously know it's me I'm still in your phone hey buddy yeah it's me. I'm still on your phone. Hey, buddy. Yeah, it's Dave, brackets, no wedding. Dave's actually my brother's name, and I am thinking of cutting it.

This works perfectly as a dry run. Hey, bro, how are you? Yeah, good, good, good. Good to hear from you. It's been a while. Man, I've been working on the wedding gift. Oh, wow. It's been two years

But I have I wanted to get the best thing for you Pfizer vaccine I won't say what it is But I'll be able to bring it And I can't wait for you to see this thing Because I know I've been a little absent But I've just been so focused on this amazing thing

You've had to buy its own seat on the Jetstar flight. It's surprising you've been working on this gift. I can tell on socials, you're in Perth living it up, and we've all been locked down, having a terrible time. You didn't check in once. Updating your status is suck shit Melbourne every week. I didn't hear from you at all. No, again, But because of this gift

So anyway Just want to know the dates When's this thing happening I can't wait to get there And give this thing Look it's been a It's been a tough time For the arts

And we've had to Tighten our Tighten the budget A little bit Oh and Have you broken it To those people I like a wedding

Being part of the arts There's really a band Playing there I was going to do a spot I like a wedding being part of the arts. There's really a band playing there. I was going to do a spot. Hey, can I book this? Yeah, of course. So, yeah, okay. So who are you dropping?

Who are you cutting? A lot of people. Who are the dancers? We're going to keep it to family and close personal friends. Podcasters. Podcasters. Podcasters. People who run rooms and who do Channel 9 shows. Better be that fucker, Andy Lee.

See, I'm loving the position I'm in. I'm not being added to the guest list, but I'm also not being dropped off. I've stayed completely level this whole time. You're neutral. It's amazing to think that you're better off than some people. Nothing's changed for me, for better or worse. That's great. We haven't heard the full alterations of the list yet, so you might be in there.

That's true. I might be in there. You know what you want to do? You want to start running a comedy room or a TV show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you can do that between now and the wedding, I think you're a big chance. I walk into Channel 9, I'm like, look, here's the pitch.

Me going to a wedding in Hawaii. The show is just, I don't know, it's called The 99. We have a big wall of people. There's like one black blank square. One pixel's glitching. It's all people who are inviting me to their wedding. You're rocking up to Hawaii. It's not the White Lotus.

It's the White Loser. You could do an ep for season two of The 100 on location at Mike G's wedding. Oh, yeah. Amazing. Oh, well, that's the next question. So you obviously aren't too far down the track, but are you at least this far down the track?

Are you going to keep it the same location? Yeah. So that we only... Is there a deposit involved? There is. The deposit's involved. And we hadn't outlaid too much expense. But yeah, we are...

Because it was all planned out, obviously, you know, every aspect of it. I'd learnt the dance. You'd learnt the dance. Yeah, yeah. This is going to be great. So I think there is a possibility we stick to the Hawaii plan

because the venue was amazing. Now, given that you're a huge TV star now, you know, Woman's Day for the photos on UIP. Oh, yes. I love this. The arts is hurting. This is how you can recoup some of the costs. True.

What publication are you leaning towards? Probably, yeah. That's a great, great mag. Can I pitch one to you? Yep. Picture. true what publication are you leaning towards probably yeah that's a great can I pitch one to you yep picture oh this is like

what truckers jerk off to yeah send photos of you and your wife into the homegirls homeboys and homegirls on the same page

perfect I was going to say Zoo Weekly you know those gags are top notch you know great pics so Hawaii can we say Zoo Weekly, you know? Yes. Those gags are top notch, you know? Great pics.

Yeah. So, Hawaii, can we say what that is? That's going to be the location of Mike G's wedding, but it is previously the location of what? Pearl Harbor. No! Isn't the place where you have your wedding, isn't that where they filmed Jurassic Park? Oh, exactly.

Yeah. How do you forget that? How do you forget you're getting married at the place where Sam Neill got his head ripped off by a T-Rex? Or whatever happened in that movie. But there's a lot of things Hawaii's known for. Yeah, yeah. No, but where you're getting married, isn't that,

like, don't you open the big fuck-off gates of Jurassic Park to get in? Hang on, so the actual place you're getting married. You said the whole of Hawaii. I think you're talking about the whole of Hawaii. I'm like, what, pizzas? That's why I said Pearl Harbor. It's in the United States, the setting of Terminator 2. Imagine he was having his wedding at the Pearl Harbor Memorial.

That's where they filmed the movie Pearl Harbor. You're having the reception at the little bar where Scott Morrison got photographed. And because Tommy was going to kamikaze it anyway. No, but you're going to... This was the selling point, wasn't it? Like, you know, I mean, your wedding, I was sort of like, oh...

But then, like, opening the fucking... You're off the list. For the Jurassic Park go to open those fuckers to get into your wedding i'm like you can't miss that so yeah right where they filmed it we're gonna play the music i was gonna make shannon walk down the aisle like as with the t-rex arms and yeah yeah it's really easy to get the ring on the finger if she's got those tiny arms just have a rap to lurking and see if she makes it. Just have that moment in the wedding where everyone goes still and you can see the water trembling in the glass.

Yeah, beautiful. Wow, and then it's you clomping down the aisle. How could you work in for the ring bearer or something? It's Newman on the toilet. Oh, nice. The door just slinging open. Yeah, that works. The ring shoots out.

Clever girl. Maybe I do want to be invited. This sounds fun. I always felt that there would be a good TV show, or at least a small, maybe like a Tonight Show, like a little sketch that they do. Yeah. Because there's someone who dies first in every Jurassic film.

It's generally a park ranger or someone. Yeah. But just his day, the backstory of his day before because we don't care about like they normally don't kill off people we don't care about early you know there'll be some guy that's just stepped out of his you know it's raining he's just stepped out of his uh rav4 yeah and uh suddenly it comes out and eats him yeah and we're all right cool the dinosaurs are doing it but if we knew that he woke up, kissed his wife, went in, read his kid a book, and then packed his thermos and said, hey.

And that died straight away? Yeah. You know, I feel like. So you want a prequel to Jurassic Park, but with none of the dinosaurs. Just some dude that works. And none of the lead actors. I think it could be

good for most films I love it like an anthology series it could be on Disney Plus because they own so many companies

so they've got the rights to so many existing movies and they just go through imagine being a bit part player in one of those

films phone rings one day you haven't worked in 20 years it's like remember being henchman number one yeah

where the stormtrooper gets fucking zapped by someone really early it's like remember being henchman number one yeah where the stormtrooper gets fucking zapped by someone really early it's like set him up yeah he's just proposed

to his boyfriend in the morning like oh I can't wait to get home hey don't forget your helmet oh thanks the pitch is

we want you to be in this movie Andy Lee's producing oh I can't make it oh that's good I'll invite Goldstein I want to go to his wedding anyway

this will seal the deal yeah exactly this will seal the deal you're watching it you know every episode someone's dying at the end yeah that's great yeah yeah well i mean you know look have you verified whether you can use the same location again or no i mean i imagine so like everyone's obviously pushed their dates out completely but well idea in case you can't it, maybe you can find the set of another 90s movie. What about something about Mary? Shane just walking down with hair up like that. I mean, I was going to jerk off beforehand.

What about if you do the whole waiting on a bus that has to keep going at 50 miles an hour? Yeah, that's not bad. I mean, I think we could, yeah. bad if you do the whole wedding on a bus that has to keep going at 50 miles an hour yeah yeah that's not bad I mean I think we could yeah you can trim down the invite list that

way just everyone that can fit on the bus it's the bus yeah romantic bus weddings when you ring up

Dave you can say sorry man can't fit on the bus yeah only 40 people yeah what was the was it 50 first

weddings what was the Adam Sandler 50 first dates yeah 50 first dates oh that ends in a wedding. That's Hawaii as well.

Yeah, that's Hawaii. Everyone's already going there. There you go. Just the shitty bother they're in in one scene. It's a bit of a step down, but at least it's also been in a film. Oh, that's interesting. I love the idea that you're trimming your list

and changing your list up because it's like a, what? How long is it going to, it'll be like two years in between or something like that. At least, yeah. Because even if we go end of next year, it's like a how long is it going to it'll be like two years in between or something at least yeah because if even if we go

end of next year it's yeah pushing it out so far and like yeah there's tons of people I just haven't heard from man I looked at there's a picture of

my wedding and it's like I looked at the other day the big picture of everyone invited and I was like man there are there are people

I don't even talk to there anymore let alone inviting to my fucking wedding yeah completely if you had to do it if you were doing it again now what percentage of the invite list do you reckon would be

the same? Well, put it this way. I reckon it's a 50%, Carl. Put it this way. I think at the time we counted it up, I think at the time of the comedians invited, 80% of people on the day didn't bring a present. So I would say maybe an 80% change of people invited. 80% didn't bring a present. So I would say maybe an 80% change of people in books. Yeah, yeah.

80% didn't bring a gift? We talked about this a long time ago, but when my wife, like the next week or whatever, was sorting out, like there was a box with all the presents or envelopes and whatever in it, she counted it all out and went, oh, there must be a mistake or whatever because there's like no one from your side has brought a present. And it was like, no, no, no, all my friends that aren't in comedy

had brought presents. And then all of her friends that aren't in comedy had brought presents. Just because you're in comedy doesn't mean you don't get to take a present. Of course. Hey, I wish you were around to teach the comedy scene that five years ago. That's great. People thinking that just because they're in comedy they're exempt. I didn't get him a gift.

Oh, no, no, you seem to be mistaken. I'm actually in comedy. Oh, my humblest't get him a gift. Oh, no, no. You seem to be mistaken. I'm actually in comedy. Oh, my humblest apologies. I bring the gift of laughter to his clubs. Yeah, yeah. So that would be, and we made a big deal about it on the show and whatever. And so then a lot of people had to make good because they were embarrassed publicly. But then some people absolutely steadfastly did not bring it.

A few holdouts still. Yeah, few holdouts. Even after that. You know what? To be honest, I respect that more. Yeah. Getting a public shaming and still staying the course, not bowing down to the public pressure is more admirable than going,

oh, now that you've talked about me on the podcast, here's a plate. In a way, because I don't think it was really that decision being made. I think it was more like, okay, do I cop the shaming or do I give up 50 bucks? I'm really too tight to do that. I'd rather... Copping shame cost me nothing, really, monetarily. So I'll just take that. So did you make a list?

Did you have a list of everyone? We had a list. Don't worry. We had a list. Are you still ticking it off? No, I'd have to go back and find it. But we did the live show. It's like the new John Wick.

Yeah. He's got a list. I made the list and we got to sell at the Sydney Opera House and that's how we used our time there. I just read out the list of all the people who didn't bring a present. John Wick waking up and the dog's alive but he's emptying the wishing

well and nothing falls out. Lifting up the floor panel and putting the gun alive, but he's emptying the wishing well and just nothing falls out and then just like lifting up the floor panel and putting the gun together. But one of the people on the list, one of the people on the list wasn't on the show that night, but they were doing a show in another room in the opera house and our show was getting sent through the speakers of their green room so they could hear our show when they were getting ready for their show.

And then I'm publicly shaming them going, this cunt didn't bring a present. And he came out and yelled at me like how dare you do this i'm like cool just give up the present then like make make good and it's like no still didn't do it you're on at the opera house you're doing all right yeah exactly exactly from the gig just get something from the green room there seems a good shit around here well not for us there wasn't anyway no you're right you're right we turn up we're like

hey good is this still in the opera house this is so exciting you know nice to have the you know you think the

the treatment's going to be put on a little bit just absolutely barren green room nothing and I think

we had to ask for a fucking bottle of water from the bathroom it ain't over until we get a free slab well it wasn't over

we didn't get anything so who are the holdouts still? Can you remember off the top of your head? Yeah, name names. Let's do this. I'd have to go back and check for sure. But one, look, I don't want to name any names.

No, I do. All right, I'll do it. The First Lady of Comedy, Fiona Lachlan. No present. No present. Just give us whatever you're drinking at the time just give us and she is classically dependable so yeah yeah yeah yeah not only did she not turn up the present didn't turn up yeah yeah no she did turn up for a while so that was uh who else was there

there was uh david quirk who who uh he still didn't do it he argued with us afterwards and said, I turned up and I bought a hotel room at the wedding on the night. So isn't that a present enough? I'm like, that wasn't a hotel room for me. That's where you slept. Well, you were welcome in it just because you didn't take me up on it. If I bought a suit to go to the wedding, is that a present for you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You've got to look at me. I got more out of it than him. There would have been complaints if I had been naked at the wedding. You're welcome. There was Xavier Michaelides who still did nothing about it. You know what Mike's doing is working out if any of these people are on his list. Yes. You're nixing them.

Yes. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nixing them. Michaelides. Yeah. He might get dropped. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Michaelides, he might get dropped. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there was, and very weirdly enough, so when we were doing this list, we did it, like I said, at the opera house. When we were planning it before the show, one of the guests was Harley Breen. And Harley Breen, once he sort of heard about the idea, he was like, oh, cool. Don't mention my name.

And I was like, okay, because you didn't bring a present. Yeah. Yeah, but don't mention my name because that'll, you know, I'll fix it up at some stage. It's like, okay. So then I didn't mention his name on the show. Never made good. He doesn't count either because he did breakfast radio for Sydney, didn't he? Yeah.

So he can't be under the comics don't have any money list. Oh no, hey look there was plenty, there was like we, I named Lemo, Lemo was on breakfast, has done breakfast radio since he was in short pants. And yeah, he got shamed so he had to cough up one.

Right. Absolutely. There's a sliding doors moment of my life where I forget to bring a gift to this wedding. And I've always just never been more thankful of remembering something in my life. Yeah. Imagining that reality for myself. Oh. Where I'm hearing about it every week from now on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't get shamed. I just didn't go to the wedding because I had like a gig at the Chuckle Hut in Brisbane. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, there was a... uh the search for this is great that the crusade for gifts and the crusade for thanks yeah like i find them you know the same kind of level

i was on a plane once yeah and this the the hostess come and said hey would you mind changing seats uh there's a passenger who wants to sit next to their partner and their partner is in the seat next to you. Would you mind changing? And I was like, no problem. So I ended up changing and I went back a few rows and that person came and sat where I was and I never got the thanks.

Because the air hostess had worked it out before he'd got on yeah oh and then so he didn't even know the whole exchange like oh thanks so much and she's like not a problem as part of the service and i'm like no and you're going full larry david up the back yeah i'm like don't give her my thanks yeah yeah that would annoy me because you book a flight you book you choose your seat exactly if you think about it it, but if you do think about it, it's like, no, I looked at the map. I worked out exactly where I wanted to be. Why can't you do that as a couple?

Why can't you fucking book your seats? Yeah, yeah. So later on, and this is probably going to give away where I was sitting, but the hostess comes out and says, hello, Professor Green. And I was like no no I'm not Professor Green because I was this Clue?

yeah I was a Clue a Clue to murder yeah you're a suspect in a cockpit with a steering wheel some peanuts

lovely to have you with us I was like no no I'm Andy I'm not Professor Green she said oh what's happened

it's like oh no I switched but I I never got thanked for the switch I was like, no, no, I'm Andy. I'm not Professor Green. She said, oh, what's happened? It's like, oh, no, I switched. But I never got thanked for the switch. I was like, oh, all right. Well, anyway, she didn't do anything about it either. Yeah. But I had the name. Yeah. Oh, you got the name.

On our podcast, I looked up a professor that was going to Brisbane and there was one in Brisbane, a Professor Green. I'm like, I think this is the guy. Having said that, there's one professor in Brisbane, so it wasn't that hard. So we rang the guy on the podcast to get... He got to his receptionist, then his PA, saying, yes, we just need to talk to him

because I've got something to bring up with him. He didn't want to say he was required to thanks. And finally got through and said, hey, just so you know, I changed seats for you. He's like, oh, right, right. Yes, this is the opportunity for you to know. And he said, are you calling to receive the thanks? Yes, I am.

God, I hope he was a professor of psychology. I don't know if this happening on the air makes it more psycho or less psycho than if you just did it in your own time. Hey, unless you only did it on one podcast. I've stretched this wedding thing out for about five podcasts. I was on a flight once and I was in between a couple, like an older couple, and early, like before the flight took off, I was like, oh, do you want to switch with me so that you can be next to each other?

And they're like, no. And then they just spent the entire flight like talking to each other over me, passing things back and forth. And then I think I talked about it on here at the time and then someone who works as a travel agent who listens messaged and said that's a very common thing if you're a couple. You book the two seats.

You book two seats and you leave the middle one empty thinking that no one is going to want to book that seat so that then you'll have the whole road yourself. That's fascinating. But then I'm on a packed flight. But, like, if that's your strategy, fine. But you've then got to give it up if a random single person comes and gets in.

And what, fall, like, domestic in front of you? That would be amazing. You know, like arguing. They were like a very old, very unhappy Italian couple. They both went on an aisle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was a bit of that. It's like, oh, why don't you move? Man, I'm sick of flying already and I haven't been on a

plane for a year. I bet it'll be that. I bet it'll be like first flight you take back. There'll be some fucking nightmare scenario that just within five minutes you go yeah, I'm off this. I didn't miss this at all. Well, that's half the flights in the States now. There's just punch-ons all the time. You know, given Heggie and Cody

plenty of content, I'm sure. How they didn't call that podcast Flight Club is beyond me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they've got the great pun of mid-flight brawl. Catchy. Alright, well, yeah, yeah. No, well, they've got the great pun of mid-flight brawl. Yeah. Catchy. Yeah. All right, well, yeah, things are opening up.

A couple of days ago, we were able to go to the pubs again and whatever. Yeah. All right, well, we're talking about social faux pas, social disagreements, things like that. Etiquette. What about this then? So, on Friday, pubs opened up. The first possible moment you can get into a pub.

I went there, booked out a table of eight. Just thought, all right, I'll be able to get eight people along. Booked out a bunch of eight comics. Then the night before, found out that one comedian said, yeah, I'm just going to bring my six-year-old daughter. What? Wow. Great question. Hang on, what time were you meeting bring my six-year-old daughter. What? Wow. Great question.

Hang on, what time are you meeting at the pub? Middle of the day. 12, midday the next day. Okay, middle of the day. And the kid has a fake ID? Yeah, at ship parties. No, the kid's an anti-vaxxer, so there was one thing already wrong. I think a six-year-old, you kind of have to be an anti-vaxxer.

With the capping at the moment, capping, you can't bring anyone. Great point. If you get invited, I had this similar situation last Saturday. It was the Australian World Cup campaign started in the T20 cricket. All right, mate, and I just went to the pub. I get it. There's a difference between the two of us. But I said, hey, there's 10 of us going.

You're invited to come. Hey, yeah, my wife's keen. It's like, that's great for her. Yeah. She can go and book her own table. But there's only very few of us. And he said, I understand. Yeah.

No one was, and also very, because everyone was so excited. Everyone was going, just, you know, I'm in. Yeah. You know, I've got that spot. Yeah. No one was going, and by the way, I'm going to bring, I might rock up, I might not, or I'm going to bring a six-year-old. Yes. My friend was like, yeah, you know, this is on Friday night.

I'd booked the table and my friend was like, yeah, you know, my partner was like, doesn't really feel ready to come out yet and we've just had a kid. So, yeah, she decided to stay back and just kind of do that and hang out. And I was like, yeah. And also, fundamentally, I didn't invite her. Don't make excuses for it. I deliberately, I sent the group message around.

I was like, yeah, this is the number of people I could get and it's just a bit of a crap shoot. Yeah, so people are just getting dropped though. Like contacted on Friday saying like, hey, what are you doing tonight? Let's go to this. And I'm like, oh, sorry, I already got other plans. And then it just makes that social awkward, know well it's tense i mean to start with so it's it's the night before it's i'm just going to bring my kid and it's like well hang on what the fuck is happening here also

yeah at the moment you can only have this many people in different places so it's like i'm not sure if you know this but your daughter is a another person yeah and he's like oh she's just going to sit on my lap like that doesn't meld you into one person yeah or anything that's a rule on a flight before they turn like one yes yeah yeah exactly exactly before one or a quad type situation yeah and then on top of that on top on top of everything like that that's the angle i played i'm like no no that's yeah that's more than, I don't want to break any rules. Yeah, I'm very,

this, this absolute sideways piss up is very COVID safe. Yeah. Sure, I'm not going to remember any of it, but it's going to be safe. Yeah. So, then I'm pushing that angle

and then, you know, he's like, well, you're only telling me, you know, on the day, sort of like,

because the next, the next day, I didn't say anything until the next day because then I emailed the venue and they're being very strict on numbers. Great. Absolutely did not do that. Yeah. But this is the first moment that we're allowed to go to the pub

with mates and everything like that. Look, everyone was busting to do it. We're busting to get pissed. We're busting to be very inappropriate. We're busting to get pissed. We're busting to be very inappropriate. We're busting to just basically just bitch about open micers. Oh, yeah. And then you're going to ruin it by bringing a six-year-old and we're going to have to mind our P's and Q's.

It's going to wreck everything. Well, she might hate open micers as well. You don't know that. That's a leave in the car situation. Yeah. Back the windows. Yeah. It's October.

It's fine. Weather's fine. It'll be fine. fine yeah it's like 18 degrees it's fun am i right am i right absolutely right yeah you're absolutely right i can't stand if anyone brings partners the other one that i happens in my group a little bit is oh my dad's coming uh we get to that age where you know your dad might want to come and you're like, ah. On the most part, mates' dads are great, but you're like, this is not one of those. Everyone's got to be on the same page.

Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Pub etiquette though, you know, reduced staff at the moment because of cap size and so on, means you have this point where you wait at the bar, but not in a long queue. You're kind of waiting in the bar like two

or three of you and then someone comes back yeah i was clearly first this other guy rocks up and you know we had our master on a bit of a nod nod person comes back in and says uh sorry who was next i looked to him to allow him to tell her that i was next right is this another you didn't get a thank you situation but i think it's etiquette it's rude to go i was next yeah yeah yeah yeah i can't stand that when you clearly were and you go no okay and they take you up on it even though they've clearly come in later i looked across at him And I expected him to go Oh, you know, he was next You're right

Because I do a bit of that You don't want to be so rude to go I'm clearly next I'll let you tell me I'm next Yes We both know I'm next We both know I'm next So I look at him

And he goes High eyebrows And then just shrugs his shoulders And goes in orders Assuming that my look I know he had masks on But my look was You go Go for it but the

but yeah yeah yeah nothing i don't think there's an eyebrows for you go yeah yeah i like yeah i can i look that says you go yeah so then he stepped forward to which goes to what i was like oh sorry i thought i was next which so i I so I suddenly cared about it yeah yeah and he's going he's like oh yeah yeah

you were you were yeah I'm like why the fuck did you step forward there so I suppose

for anyone listening yeah it's up to you if you're second there to nominate to graciously nominate the first person if a person is saying that

you have to go no no yeah it's on you. Every now and then, if I can tell that the person who's come along after me is like a real cunt who thrives on this sort of stuff, you know the sort of person who's just like, I'll be going now. Every now and then I'll go, I'll use a bit of editorialising and go,

no, I am going to say I'm next now. This person is absolutely going to take it and run. It is. They get off on this. They do a bit of edging. All of a sudden, they're just... It's just a vibe you can get from a person who's like the most important person in any room,

always happy to barge in and cut the line. Well, it is the inner Larry David when he comes out. You're like, oh, I'll just make it awkward for a little bit and go for the conflict, whatever. That's fine. Was this Friday night? Was this the first night back? Yeah.

I was on a rooftop. Was it Danny McGinley's daughter? Oh, man, man. I wondered. I wondered if it was going to come out. It was, actually. I was at a pub near here on the rooftop. And I hadn't, you know,

obviously I hadn't been anywhere for a while, but I hadn't been at this specific place for over a year. And we're up on the roof and it it kind of looked I remember the roof being a lot bigger like I remembered the roof kind of curving all the way around and there's a big wall there now yeah and when the lady serving us comes over I'm like hey is this is this roof smaller have you put a like a wall in there and she's like no it's always been like this and I'm like I just hold my ground I. I'm like, no, it hasn't. Stop pretending.

You've put a wall in and this is just me, you know, frothing on being out, like having had a couple. And then she's like, I think I would know. I've worked here for a very long time. And I'm like going, what am I doing? I'm here getting into a fight with this poor, like, first day back at work and I'm arguing about the size of the roof. That shows you're not piss fit when your first thing out is inventing walls. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah. I'm like, no, no, no. It used to go all the way around. She's like, look at that wall. Does it look like it's been built in the last six months? And I look up. I'm like, yeah, that is a very sturdy permanent wall. But now I'm like, I can't back down.

So what ended up happening? This six-year-old just comes to the bar with you in the end? No. Or you just put the full kibosh on? No, put the foot down. Sorry, nothing I can do. Pop rules. But then he gets there and there's significantly less than eight people.

There you go. I get a very emotional message in the morning going, I can't believe you're doing this. Really? You tell me this on the day. I was so looking forward to this all this sort of stuff and i'm like what do i say back to this and i'm like you know what his day's ruined i'm not gonna let this ruin my day i'm not gonna respond i'm not gonna put this into my headspace i'm gonna leave this on red and i'm gonna go and and put this behind me and and go have fun. Nice. Yeah. So what do you think's happened there?

So partner's still working at home, obviously. Can't look after the kids. Yes. Doesn't he have multiple kids, though? Yes. Yeah, so I didn't quite figure out why there was only one kid going with him, where the other kid was. The other one can just look after her.

Yeah. Well, who's looking after the other one? And why can't they look after two kids? Yeah. Yeah. You've had three months to think about this day. Yeah, and then on top of that he was he was like i said man you've got so this is nine o'clock the booking's for 12 o'clock in that day i said you've got three hours we're allowed to go to other people's house now you've got you've got family you've got friends there's

babysitters out there you've got three hours do that goes, no, I've used up all my babysitting tokens and whatever yesterday when I was doing some odd jobs and stuff. I'm like, why wouldn't you save those tokens for today when you're going to the pub? Odd jobs? What are you talking about? What odd jobs are there when things aren't open yet? Why do you need someone to take your kid away when you're doing the guttering?

Yeah. What are you talking about? And his daughter's at pre-drinks and so she's sitting there and gets the message that no, I'm not going to the pub anymore. Yeah, the daughter turned up first. Yeah. She messaged you and she was like,

can I take my dad along? I was like, you can sit on my lap, but your dad can't come here. Yeah, it is because also, and this is an easy lap, but your dad can't come here. Yeah, it is. Because also, and this is an easy thing to say when you don't have children, but it's like parents bringing their young kids to the pub for a sesh. It's like you look at the kid and it's like, I reckon they're hating this. I reckon they are in absolute hell.

Remember when you were a kid and you're like, you'd just be, it's like parents bringing kids to music festivals. I always go, fuck, I would have been terrified if I'd had like hippie parents who took me to like a Meredith or something. On top of this, you know, people... Andy, you may not know this person, but everyone that listens to this podcast does. Our friend Milan was there.

Yes. Our friend Milan is someone who basically prides... He's sort of like a wartime specialist where he's just trying to break you, but with alcohol. Every time you go to a pub, it's like, let's see how much punishment I can put into this person. So I just don't want to see a six-year-old absolutely gacked off their head and sideways in a gutter.

I think that would be a real challenge. I don't think he's ever done that to a... He might have, actually. So didn't come? Didn't come. Didn't end up coming? Has there been any contact since so there's been that was friday and i was like and i was talking about to the to the other comics there and going look i feel like i've taken one for you guys like i don't know whether the friendship's over here i don't know what's going on here but there's there's there was no more message i just i just left him on red with this this sort of big soliloquy there.

I'm like, I don't know. Oh, fuck. I don't know what's going to happen here. And it's like, yeah, man, you're going to be fucking hated for so long. This could be it for you guys. But because gigs are coming back like this week, all of a sudden I got a message last night going, where's gigs? I'm like, oh, we're all good now, are we?

That's the move of a man. Same reason I get to go to Hawaii and Jurassic Park. The move of a man who knew reason I get to go to Hawaii and Jurassic Park. Same of the relationship. The move of a man who knew what was coming up over the horizon. Can I bring my kid on stage? Five minutes of spleen will fix this. That's fine. We're all good, I believe.

Awkward interactions. Andy, I haven't told you this yet, but I did a radio interview for the show, some regional Sunny Coast bullshit with Johnny and the Girl or some shit. And it was meant to be 2 p.m. And then I'm sitting there. It's like 2.15, 2.20.

They haven't called yet because they contacted Mike Goldman first. The voice of Big Brother. The voice of Big Brother to interview him about The 100. And Goldman was like, oh, it's actually, it's not me, even though he would have fucking gladly done the interview. Yeah, yeah, gladly.

Didn't he post his text exchange with them where they're like, hey, just making sure we can call you at this time, and he's written back and he's like, yeah, sounds good. Just wondering what you were wanting to talk about. Why the show that you're on at the moment with Andy Lee, of course. The idea that you would be going, moment with Andy Lee of course the idea that you would be going yeah what's this

fucking about what would Big Brother say about The 100 I'm more than just my role on The 100 guys I have heaps of things I can talk about

The 100 come to the diary room is that what you want things like a weird mashup and then they finally get on to me and you know

apologetic and all the rest. But then the guy's like, I'm so sorry. You know, I'm a big fan of the 100. And I'm like, I don't think you are. First of all, Mike Goldman not on the show. It's the 100. I was like, I'm just going to make this a conflict. I like you.

I like you being in TV for five minutes. It's not the 100. It's the 100, actually. Stay strong, buddy. Yeah, you got that right. Yeah. I's not the 100, it's the 100 actually. Stand strong, buddy. Yeah, you got that right. Yeah, yeah. I remember this the other day. This is an awkward interaction thing

because, you know, now it's easy to take for granted. We get Ubers everywhere. It's easy to forget what things were like when you were getting taxis and just like the different economy of it where the Uber,

you just hop out, you're done. You're set. You don't have to think about it. I remember like back in the days of taxis, getting a taxi home and for whatever reason, like I had money inside that I had to run in to get to pay the cab driver with, right?

And I go, oh, really sorry about this. I'll be five seconds, I'll just run in and get the cash. And he was like, well, no, I don't trust you. You might do a runner. So you've got to leave something. Leave your phone with me as collateral so that you're not going to run off. And this is like a $25 fare or something. So I'm like, well...

And your phone, that Nokia 3210 is up with $39. Exactly. It's got my snake eye score on it. So then I'm like, well, no, I don't trust you to not drive off with my phone. So I'm not leaving my phone. So you tell him to give you his phone? That's not a bad move.

Well, this then was a, from memory, a close to 10-minute negotiation out the front of my house of something that I could leave with him that I'm going to come back for but is no point. You have my phone but I want 20 bucks of yours. that I'm going to come back for, but is no point. You have my phone, but I want 20 bucks of yours. Yeah.

And then, okay, if I give you that, you give me your spare shed key. Yep. And then I'll give you my spare tire. Yep. Do you want to know what we... He knows where you live. Absolutely.

He knows where you live at the end of the day. Well, I guess he thinks maybe I'm just going to run around the block. Right, right, right. And then he saw you and knows that guy's not running. I can catch him. Yeah, do you want to know any guesses? Great, this is awesome.

What the exchange was? What you gave him. What we worked on as a fair compromise. What about it? I reckon you left an item of clothing. A hat. I was like A hat. I was thinking a hat.

Oh, you know what would be good? Shoes. No. Oh. I thought that was... Well, I don't want to hear what the answer is because I think that's excellent. So you can't run. I think that's... Yeah.

No, it's better than that. Oh, okay. One shoe. Oh, there you go. Wow. I'm coming back for it. Yeah. I need the pair.

Yeah. He's only got for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need the pair. He's only got one shoe. That's perfect. Leaving the pair. He's driving off with them. If they're nice enough shoes. If they're the same size, he's thinking, here we go. But were they nice enough shoes? Well, I can't remember.

But, you know, it's like they still might be worth, you know, he might want to give them to someone. Yeah. But he's not bothering leaving with them. I'm definitely going back. Who's he giving your fucking size 16 shoes, though, to be fair? Yeah, true. But then the problem was I get out and because I'm all lopsided, I'm definitely going back. Who's giving your fucking size 16 shoes though, to be fair? Yeah, true. But then the problem was I get out and because I'm all lopsided, I'm just running around

in circles. But I just remembered that the other day and I was like, that's actually, I wish taxis were still around because that's a brilliant negotiation. That is good. Meter on or meter off for the negotiation? Oh, good question. Fuck, I can't remember. Yeah.

Because you run a gig. Because I would have got my lawyer in and started a meter on and off. Yeah, yeah, because I mean, yeah, yeah. You saved your Reebok pump, but it cost you $70. So, yeah, great. All of a sudden the meter's up so high that now it's like, I don't even have this amount of money in my house anymore. We're going to need to drive to someone else's house to get the remainder.

The only thing I've got, will you take my shoes? You run a gig, Chando, and I don't know if you remember this. We're all sitting upstairs talking about the comics. One comic shows up. He's talking to us for a while. And then an enraged Indian man barges upstairs demanding his cab fare. Yes. It was a friend of the show.

Someone who's been on the show once before. Do you know this, Tommy? Oh, yes, I do. Dan Rath, Sydney comedian. He came into the gig. It's five minutes to go before the gig starts or whatever. And he just walks in and he's sort of a bit weird about it. And he's like, oh, he's just sitting there.

And then he's like being weird about it. But then, yeah, like you said, five, ten minutes later, this guy runs in and goes you owe me 50 bucks and we're like he drove from the airport he driven that's when we find out yeah he driven him from the airport to the gig yeah and then just got out at his destination and got upstairs then just walked upstairs and just thought well that taxi driver will go away yeah but he'd given him was he doing a runner or does it absentmindedly not pay? No, no, no, no, no, no. He was...

I don't know how he thought this was going to happen, but he got out at the destination that he'd given his taxi driver, went into the destination and just thought, wow, the perfect crime. I'll just stay in here. And he... Everyone knows taxi drivers can't leave their cabs. This will blow over.

Yeah. Really? Yeah. So the guy just came in and was like, dead to rights, like, you owe me 50 bucks. And he was just sitting there going, oh, I didn't think their cabs. This will blow over. Yeah. Really? Yeah. So the guy just came in and was like dead to rights like you owe me 50 bucks and he was just sitting there going oh I didn't think this would happen. I think there's like a taxi parking zone out the front of Spleen isn't there? Yeah. So it couldn't

be easier for this guy. Not even like a... St Kilda Road you'd hop out and you'd be like well he's going to have to move on at some point. Yeah because there's a camera and he's got backup. He's got backup if he wants to what would have been great if he came up the stairs

holding a shoe and he was like I got you but yeah so then he was there and then he was basically like oh I don't have that sort of money and then one of the other comics had to

it was so awkward someone else had to like go here's I got 30 bucks if that helps or whatever I was like okay I'll take that and then that was it

the defensive going I don't have that much. I'm not made of money. 70 bucks. Look, I'm here in an open mic. I'm not earning anything. I mean, to drill down into the finance situation for the taxi driver, he has to give, the taxi drivers have to give half back to the company, don't they?

Do they? Yeah, I don't know. Isn't it like you buy the cab and then you I don't know you buy a license yeah oh but then

some people have a license and they have people drive for them cab drivers drive for the car yeah so at what point is like so the 30 bucks for him

yeah I think would cover right is there a point where with runners... Cost price. Are they making not only a loss in a fair, but also a loss to going home to some asshole boss who's like...

Right. Well, my friend, when we were growing up, he had these like... He was a dirtbag and his brothers were all dirtbags. And they would... Every time they got in a cab, they would do a runner. They would order a cab to a friend's house, get there, like pull up a block away

and then just like, you know, bolt. And then it got to a cab to a friend's house get there like pull up a block away and then just like you know bolt and then it got to a point where my friend one time tried to call the cab company to book a cab and they were like uh no that address is blacklisted now you have done you have done too much you and your shithead brothers have done too many runners from cabs so they could not so anytime like you were at his house and you were going somewhere it was like oh we'll have to walk a couple of streets away and call the company to come and get us that is heavy work yeah they must be like so shitty at uber now that they're trackable yeah yeah yeah totally it's really it's really fucked over the runner industry yeah yeah how

could you do it could you be in the cab and then just like disconnect your PayPal account from the Uber? You know what I mean? I guess, yeah. Just drain all the money out of it somehow or something? You're just getting someone else to call the Uber and then running off on your mate, surely. Yeah.

Yeah. But it is, I mean, it is nice to just like hop out and feel like I'm doing something naughty. Yeah. I'm just sprinting for it. No, I'm the son of shop owners. I'm dyed-in-the-wool establishment. Yeah. You can't, no, I don't want to see people shoplifting.

You know, that's taken money out of my mouth, basically. Yeah, yeah, true. You're stealing from a shop in my head. But so, Andy, you're wondering at what point is the fare low enough that it's like, this isn't worth me getting out and chasing after this car. So, yeah, and I was just wondering whether like the 30 that you got off the additional comic there, I was like, I guess he's like, well, at least that covers that situation where this boss, I mean... He's not making any money, but he's not losing any money.

No, yeah. Although I think I'd be tempted to go back to the boss and go, I have had 25 runners tonight. No, it looks like I've made $4,000. But I mean, if you're that cab driver and, you know, presumably like every cab driver has at some point had a runner pulled on them, if they've been doing it long enough, you would be used to seeing them just like take off down an alley and like literally running.

I imagine this guy was just sitting out the front for a full five minutes because, you know, his passenger has just gotten out of the cab and just gone into a bar. Gone into the bar, walked upstairs, pulled out his notepad and started going over his set. Yeah. You'd be sitting there going, this is deranged. I've never seen a runner like this.

Something else must be going. Am I going to get jumped if I go inside? Yeah. It's a trap. This is a trap. Yeah, yeah. It's too obvious. Maybe he thought the going upstairs element

was an added layer of security. Like, he'll never find me. I'm in the sky. It's like a cow. Was there a bovine driving the cow? No, he thinks he's Anne Frank in it. No, yeah. It's like the side of your wedding, Jurassic Park,

if I don't move. Yeah. He doesn't know I exist. Yeah. Just thinking of brief change of location just resets the clock. Yeah, yeah, totally. Once a door has closed behind me, I can't be touched.

Thinking that Spleen is like an international embassy. Oh, yeah. They have no extradition in here. Yes. I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. Sitting up there next to Julian Assange, next to him going, you did the cab thing?

Yeah. The comedy embassy. Spleen certainly looks like a place that no country would claim so yeah yeah but he was genuinely surprised like acted surprised

yeah he was like oh oh shit he was acting to us like there was not like a worry in the world yeah

it was like he just closed that off yeah and gone no had a suitcase he was just like yeah just came straight

from the airport he just absolutely had moved on yeah I'd love to live in a brain like that just for a day like you realize the whole world would look just completely different if that's your mental i love the on the spot go fund me for the for the taxi like because it was like yeah it was a couple of different people chipping in in the end right yeah yeah fucking great yeah i do like it there was like a bunch of comics where it was like well not one person had the money

to pay $50 for an airport fare so a few people you're explained shaking the bucket before the gigs even started like look guys

we're doing things around the other way tonight this is making the non-gift thing make a lot more sense my outrage feels a little bit

unfounded look that's the thing. Like at some stage, because I love going to Koh Samui in Thailand so much that people were like, why don't you have your wedding over there and people can fly over there? I'm like, the people who went to my wedding couldn't even fucking pony up for a present.

Do you think they're ponying up for an airfare to another continent? Yeah. It's not going to happen. How would this have tested the shopkeeper's son mentality? Someone comes to your wedding and, you know, one of these comics, they've gotten you a great gift, but then they lean in and they go, I shoplifted this. Oh.

Now that's a real test of the loyalties, isn't it? That's great. Are they ending up on the list? That is truly more brutal than Sophie's Choice. Yeah. Totally. Because they didn't, I mean, they still technically didn't buy you a gift. Yeah.

You're getting something from them But they put themselves at risk That's true To get it And bring it Yeah I think it's actually more What if they'd stolen something

But I still didn't even like it Yes That's a tricky one Yeah that's You're right It is more of a compliment Yeah It's like I could go to

I'm prepared to go to jail for you I stole this one cool shoe From this guy in my cab I put this toaster in my pocket and walked out. So you guys have been on the 100, the 100 on Channel 9. Yeah. Just finished. Thanks for getting the title right.

That's good. Yes. I'm a big fan. Yeah. Big fan. Yeah. Gold band. Yeah.

Big fan. So you sort of like the- When he says finished, we're going again next year. Yeah. Right. I just don't want people to go, oh, that got axed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back at the start of next year.

Yeah. Well, good to know because what I love is that that's your first... Is that the first time you've ever been on TV when you were... Oh, I did Tonightly, like a spot on that. I said TV though. Oh, yeah, yeah. ABC doesn't count? No, no.

Well, ABC 2 doesn't count well I did remember I did Husey's thing and like I zoomed in and like they interviewed me yeah but you were like the home viewer

on that thing that's like a normal person yeah yeah yeah it's like someone on the 100 claiming that there are TVs yes yes you're on zoom

yeah yeah yes but they all do I think yeah yeah yeah they're using that as a credit now I'm sure. Yeah.

Making appearances at Westfields and stuff. Oh, man. Come check me out. Tony Martin's doing a lot of overtime on IMDb, updating everyone's fucking pages, thanks to that. Yeah. A hundred a week. Previous credits, just like a 21st video.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone taped a rocker stead fit at some stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, first, I guess, substantial TV spot and boy, did it show. Yeah. No, no, no. It was fun.

But what I do love is that, you know, because look, it's rare that someone at your level gets like a big break like that because, you know, you've been going for quite a while. Usually, you know, there's a lot of new guys that get given like a, you know, go straight away. Yeah. But once you're in the industry for quite a while, Usually, you know, there's a lot of new guys that get given like a, you know, go straight away. Yeah. But once you're in the industry

for quite a while, you don't get given that. I've heard from plenty of old road dogs, comedians with the, oh, you know, congratulations and like just dancing around

who books this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not so much how did you get this but how did you get this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. But what I love is that

because you guys have become friends over basically how did you meet like a tweet now is this is this how it happened

between you two yeah that you guys basically met because you were hanging shit on Andy Lee on Twitter yeah and for some reason you've gone

this is cool you guys I think actually are to thank. You deserve a percentage of all Mike's TV audience. Oh, don't say that. Now what? Now what? Here we go.

I'm going to buy myself some wedding presents. I'll give you a shoe and that's it. So can we describe exactly how this happened? Well, I don't know the dum-dum connection unless it's... Oh, it's Capper. So, yeah. Because that's? Well, I don't know the Dum Dum connection unless it's Capper. So, yeah. Because that's the thing is I didn't, we didn't connect. Like Mike tweeted some shit about me, but I just, I don't know,

maybe didn't see it or it wasn't remarkable. That checks out. But off the Phone Hacks podcast we did Little Dumb Dumb Live Yes Which was a cracking show That was so much fun Yeah Underneath

At the European maybe downstairs Yep Yeah And Kappa was on With myself I think Yes And you guys Yep

And I think we had more guests that night Yes There might have been one more One other person yeah Yeah Anyway Kappa Had said to me after the gig And I think we had more guests that night. Yes, there might have been one more. One other person, yeah. Anyway, Kappa had said to me after the gig that he'd whispered to one of you guys, whether this is true or not or whether you remember,

that he was going to fucking blow me out of the water when I got out there. He's like, really going to come hard at me, right? And he did. He came out swinging. Really? Classic Alpha Kappa. At the start of the gig, which was funny,

but I was having a fun night and a good night as well and I threw a few barbs back, which had kind of clocked him. And so after that, we had this fun night of him and I just kind of back and forth and back and forth. I can't wait to hear how this story ends with him not getting a gig on YouTube. I've got real rapport with this guy. I wonder if he's got any funny friends.

I would really love to book a plus one of yours. You're so good. Hey, man, do you have anyone that's more presentable in that case? What about you but without the stench? Can we do that? What about you but without the stench? Can we do that? So, Kappa said to me,

hey, will you do my podcast? Yeah. Phone Hacks. Yeah. And that's when I learned on the Phone Hacks podcast that we learned about the tweet. Oh, right. Because the tweet was... He was...

So, start of lockdown, like March 2020, and then the tweet was you were hitting a tennis ball over your beachside house and then catching it on the other side and falling into your pool. One of the most entitled videos I've ever seen in my life. Tennis, a beach house, and then your pool. Well, that's what I tweeted basically, yeah. Yeah, but my house is small enough to be able to run through

and catch it on the other side. Oh, now he's being modest. Yeah. This is the precursor to Gal Gadot singing Imagine. The people will love it. Here's one for the peasants. My beach house is so small you can run through it in a TikTok. Annie Lee is ostentatious. How small is it?

So that was the tweet.? So that was the tweet. Yeah, that was the tweet. So I quote tweeted that and then I was like, oh, yeah, fun thing for everyone to do in lockdown, hit a tennis ball over your beach mansion and fall into your infinity pool. And then Capper's like, because he knew you from this, he was like, oh, I'll get Andy on and like, you know, pretend beef, if anything would be funny.

Yeah. But then, you know, we hit it off and now i'm a mega tv well that's good for season two people out there if you want to like abuse any lee on twitter on social media you could end up co-hosting the tv show so yeah well i had this when i reached out to mike i said hey man i i think you'd be really good for this show and I want to go into Batview and let's kind of talk a bit more about it. And Mike kept thinking I was fucking with him. Yes! Out phone hacking him.

Yeah. Great. And like, because there's a lot of negotiations that go on in the lead up to these things. It was this time last year when it was kind of in, we were already kind of talking about it and stuff, but I didn't believe it until we were in the lead up to these things. It was this time last year when it was kind of in, we were already kind of talking about it and stuff, but I didn't believe it until we were in the studio filming. And even then I was like, fuck, this would be a good prank.

Yeah. And so much so that I thought, God, it'd be amazing that when cameras rolled in the first moment, like, G'day, Andy Lee here, welcome to The 100. And as if, Mike, you fucking idiot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You fucking idiot you fucking idiot no way

Hamish come out replace him what the fuck that is so funny I was tense I really thought oh my god that would be so good

I think we're tanking a whole TV show just now absolutely here's an opportunity here's an opportunity but I did I mean it was it's been really it's been fun but it's like you said it's with people's in their breaks and so on like it's a tough thing to um like for instance we had

some great comics on season one of the hundred but uh and sadly they're all from sydney even though the best ones are from Melbourne. We're all thinking it. Because of COVID situation. It was a bit of a... Looking at the guest lineups in Sydney in the last couple of months, it has been a really good time for open micers and TV shows. Yeah, it was this... So what was nice is, you know,

there's people like Sam Campbell who are awesome and Channel 9 are probably not going to put on a tv show yes let alone the first episode yeah yeah yeah so kovid was cool in that regard to to have you know some some some young or different comics you heard it here first annie lee says kovid was cool um it was real make a wish time I think on TV it is up there it was for a while but yeah it'd be interesting

to see whether that dynamic changes because you're always battling against a few things yeah yeah sure

hey we know that's what kept us from being on the show I'm sure we get we get given that excuse for the last 10 years

when there wasn't even any COVID we're still a bit scared about the polio thing maybe we just don't want to book anyone Yeah. We get given that excuse for the last 10 years when there wasn't even any COVID. We're still a bit scared about the polio thing maybe coming up. So we just don't want to book anyone from interstate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This lack of quality virus that's been going around for 10 years. That's how they describe it, I think.

You guys are close contacts. Well, should we wrap it up there or have we got one more thing to talk about? Oh, yeah. No, we should. Do you want to get into that briefly? Yes, let's do it very briefly. We've been talking about this for the last few weeks where we've been, obviously, you know, in lockdown.

Everyone's been busting to get out of Melbourne and do stuff. I was doing the stats. We've done so many live shows. You know, you've been part of that. We, about one in every three or four episodes generally have been live shows. We haven't done hardly any for like 18 months. So we were like, let's get out. Let let's combine those two let's get out of the city let's go to the country we're sort of like it was a bit of a sort of malleable idea where

we're going maybe we should find the shittest town in in country victoria and go there and like just like and make it good you know go and laugh at or make it good or something so a lot of listeners have been sending out their suggestions. I think quite a few have just been going, yeah, this town's shit and it's just like the town they live in so they don't have to travel. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Sydney's shit. Come up here. So the last few weeks I've been going through all the dozens of suggestions

and like having to go through, you know, what the population, the public transport to the town the the pubs yeah the pubs got like you know i don't because it's sort of like do you have a short list yeah yeah we're very shortly so we've narrowed it down week after week after week after week and trying knocking places out because it's like we sort of went from going yeah let's find the absolute shittest town of all time and then then we sort of went, well, we sort of still have to go there and have a good time there. You know, like if we go there and we're shot immediately, like it's not a great episode if the talent die two minutes in,

in my opinion. So then we brought it down to a couple of towns in the last week. Seymour and Heathcote. Oh, yeah. So we had Camperdown, but I sort of dismissed that early on in the week. So we've been hitting up the hotels and looking at accommodation this week. And so Seymour's got about 10,000 or more than 10,000 or something like that. And a lot of people have been like, this is Australia's shittest town.

This town is fucked. To compare Seymour and Heathcote, I looked them both up, and Google will give you a little automatic thing on the side of population, da-da-da. And the difference is Heathcote accommodation, average three stars, $148. Seymour, average three stars, $146. Well, the accom's $2 cheaper a night. Officially, the shit of town. Well, yeah, there was a pub in Seymour that, you know,

you go on Google Image and within the first five pictures, I'm like, oh, this could be a good place. And then the fifth picture, I think, is a picture of the pub on fire. So that's in the top five pictures if you're thinking about whether you want a pub over there or not. It's not a bad strategy. Here's an example of the kind of thing that probably won't happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It has, but what are the odds of it happening twice? Yeah, exactly. So are you going to encourage those city dwellers to make the trip to Seymour as well? Yes. That's fun. That's awesome. I don't know if I made it clear last week or not

because I had some requests. It's about two-hour drives into Seymour. Yeah, it's about 90 minutes. 90 minutes. Yeah, so I obviously drive faster than you. You can do it in 50 if you really don't give a fuck about your life. Or your car, which I don't. Yes, so we're hiring a bus, a small bus.

So again, we talked about Milan before. You're literally taking a short bus. Yeah, yes. Great. Yeah, so he's going to of the bus you're literally taking a short bus yeah yes yeah great yeah so he's going to be the party host a lot of people out there want to know what it's like to be

to have a big night out with Milan the biggest party animal we know the Serbian party animal so he's going to be the host of the bus on the way up and on the way back so those tickets are going to be can my six year old come on the bus with us?

she can sit on the top, on the lap of the bus. Yeah. So those tickets are going to be available. They're going to be on sale, I think, this Friday, which means the 29th? 29th of – Yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 29th of October.

So that's what – so you're encouraged you can come that way or there is public transport available. But so basically it came down to the two towns. Tommy and I have both been sort of like going, oh, he's been Team Seymour, I've been Team Heathcote. It's much of a muchness, but like I said, in trying to find the shitter one, I had to be won over by a motel that's $2 cheaper.

Well, to put another P on the scales in Tommy's direction with regards to Seymour being perhaps not as good is Heathcote has a wine region, doesn't it? It does. That's what people keep saying. So anything that's Heathcote estate, anything that has an estate has a... I agree. I agree. And that did make me waver because I was team Heathcote and I was like, oh, yeah, and I did find out that there was

like wineries around there. It's not like a true Horty Torty sort of place. No, no. You're not in the Yarra Valley, but it just would put it a little step above Seymour. But, hey, wine doesn't necessarily make classy, you know? No. Could be wine that ends up in a goon bag.

Exactly. It could be the goon bag region. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That could be a great way to brand it, wouldn't it? a goon bag. Exactly. It could be the goon bag region. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That could be a great way to brand it, wouldn't it? The goon bag region of Victoria. Yeah, silver skies. Oh, yeah.

The fruity Lexia grape is in full bloom. Yeah. But then I fell in love with this place called the Union Hotel in Heathcote because it is like, like I said last week, it's like a pub from the 1930s that hasn't been renovated since then. It is like crazy old school. Like it should have been filmed like the Sullivans should have been in there. There's something, like this is what it looks like.

This is like it couldn't be any more of an old school Aussie pub. Yeah. And they've got a separate section at the back for like where they play pool and they've got a mini stage. I don't they play pool and they've got a mini stage. I don't know why they play pool and there's a stage. I don't know whether there's a presentation after you win billions or not. Dude, I've done gigs in this.

It is so untouched by... So what's the date you do in the shows? Well, that's what we're announcing today. Saturday, December 11. So we've made the call and we've weighed up all the pros and cons of the regions and the prices, the accommodation, the venue. And we've come to the decision of, well, I rang the pub at Seymour just before you guys got here

and we said we want to put on a show. They said, no, we can't do that. So Heathcote it is. Specifically, they said, we don't allow amplification in our venue. Oh, wow. It's a pretty big. So it's Heathcote. Yeah.

Can I shock you? I've always loved Heathcote over Seymour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, great. Yeah, great. Us too. Us too now. It's in the last 10, 15 minutes. Yeah. So Saturday, December the 11th, the Heathcote, the, yeah. Oh, great. Yeah, great. Us too. Us too now. It's in the last 10, 15 minutes.

Yeah. So Saturday, December the 11th, the Heathcote, the Union Hotel. The Union Hotel. You can make your own way there. You can get on the – there's a V-Line bus that goes there that takes 90 minutes to get there. And, you know, who doesn't want to be on a bus for 90 minutes? Absolutely.

But – or you can go on our special bus that stops at pubs on the way and has Milan hosting it. Special bus. Yes, exactly. And is that bus return you the same night or is it a stay-at-home? Great question. We'll work that out soon. Well, people are buying tickets in three days,

so you might want to work it out pretty quickly. That'll all be sorted out online, I'm sure. So, look, we literally talked to the pub owner just before you got here. You thought we were waiting at the front. I was on the phone to the pub owner just working that out. The deciding call came through, yeah,

an hour ago. So I talked to the Heathcote pub owner and a listener of this show lives in Heathcote. And what I love about Heathcote as well is it's 3,000 people. Seymour is like, I don't know, 12 or 13,000 people, which is more than where I came from, Maribor. Yeah.

So you're doing the live podcast there? Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. So I've just got a lot of country cousins in the area. Oh, get them in. Yeah. Tell them exactly what you're doing.

Yeah, well, that's the thing because we've been talking about, oh, we're going to Australia's shittiest town and sort of thing like that. And then we've sort of like, oh, we want to have fun there. It's not really shit or whatever. Like we just want a little country town sort of thing. But then a listener of this show lives in Heathcote. So he went to like talk to the pub. Like not – I didn't ask him to do it.

He just went to talk to the pub and went – and I don't know how he – what he said. So then when I rang the Heathccote pub owner terry terry which is another big tick in its corner and he's got a really rough voice yeah so all of a sudden he starts questioning me going is this what the fuck's this thing is this some boy come in here and he was telling me about some thing some show or something is this some this is a little comedy thing or something like that and i like i don't think i've ever shit my pants on the phone more than this.

Like, I've gone, all of a sudden, this guy who sounds rough, who sounds eight foot, like he's going to kill me. I don't know what this bloke has said. I don't know whether this other, this listener has come in and gone,

yeah, these guys I listen to are looking for the fuckedest town in the world and the shittest pub ever. Can we, obviously, I thought of yours. Anyway, he's going to give you a call soon. I can't wait for this guy to watch us do our

live podcast of all male guests joking about anal sex for an hour. This is the gayest, most artsy-fartsy thing I've ever seen in my life. We've been funded. What is this, Priscilla? Get out of here. This comedy show from The Big Smoke.

Absolutely. So then I'm just like going, oh, I'm changing it. He's like going, Get out of here This comedy show From the big smoke Yeah Absolutely So then I'm just like Going Oh I'm changing it He's like Going So what's the point

Of coming here I'm like Oh it's just We love the country And I was giving back I was giving back To the country

You guys were affected By the bushfires Weren't you maybe I don't know Let's just say that And I looked at I looked at the pictures Online at your pub And I was like man this looks really good it looks really great and and then can we come and stay there and the guy's like not buying it he's sort of just going

yeah those pictures online we've we've just bought it like those pictures from a year ago we bought it like six months ago we've been fixing it up it was a real shithole and i'm like oh okay all right all right all right great so he he's fixing it up to some degree they're fixing up from what he said he's fixing up the hotel rooms yeah so if you look online they look insane they look terrible they look sore yeah yeah so now he's they're fixed up by the time we're getting there but he but the the space where we're doing the show i don't think is is going to be fixed up by the time we're getting there. But the space where we're doing the show, I don't think is going to be fixed up, which is beautiful,

which is just old school, crazy, country, tiny country pub. And we go into a town, what I love, we go into a town with 3,000 people that still has three pubs. Love it. A thousand, I like that ratio, a thousand people per pub. So we go into a tiny town, we can still do a pub crawl. Yeah. Awesome. It is a pub where everyone brings their six-year-olds too. Oh, yeah, yeah. So we go into a tiny town, we can still do a pub crawl. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, awesome.

It is a pub where everyone brings their six-year-olds to. Oh, great. Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. BYO six-year-olds up to the gig. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

Keep an eye out for that. That's going on sale very, very shortly. Yeah, Saturday, December 11th. But, yeah, we've got to wrap it up here for another week on The Little Dumb Dumb Club. Andy Lee, Mike Goldstein, thank you so much for joining us. See you on the bus. On your legends. So the 100 is back next year, but you can catch up on the preview episodes. Are they up on the 9th?

9 now, probably. Yeah, 9 now. Still up there. And then the Phelnax podcast with me and Capper. Yes. Awesome. That's it. I love it when we have a high-profile guest on the Can't Be Fucked Plugging Zone podcast

because it's like... I was about to bring it up. It just absolutely dwarfs us. I don Plugging Zone podcast because it's like... I was about to bring it up. It just absolutely dwarfs us. I don't need to get my name out here. I was about to bring it up. I was like, I don't want to offend him by thinking that it's worth a plug on here. Yeah, now we'll pass. Fantastic.

All right, guys. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. And they've done it again. Oh, boy. Lots of big news. Big live show news. Finally, Tommy.

Yep. To talk about, like we said at the top of the show, the 500th episode is on. Finally. Finally. The big show you've been holding onto your tickets for for a year and a half or more now. It's finally going to nearly happen on the two-year anniversary. It's Saturday, January the 15th. If you have tickets already, if you've held on to them,

your grubby little mitts for all this time, they are still good. You should have had them all changed via Ticket Tech or whoever. Unlike a Mike Goldstein wedding invitation, your tickets are still valid. Yes. We are not taking some of your tickets back because we've changed our minds about you. We've been like,

oh, we haven't really heard from this guy on the socials in the last two years. Better kick him out of the gig. Yeah. So, look, that means that basically everyone can go there except for probably people from Perth. So, you can... They could come.

They just might have to quarantine on the way back for two weeks, which, hey, let us know if you're going to do that. Is that we would have to crown that person the biggest dum-dum fan slash sad cunt in all of Australia. That would be awesome. To be honest, people over there probably, there would be a percentage of people over there that are a bit sick of being over there and not being able to travel.

If you want to just kick off your traveling right there and then and go, right, I'll first stop Melbourne. I'll do the 500th episode and then I'll kick on to wherever else that's the way to do it yep um and uh you see let's see you in about four months perth yep so everyone else you could you can come from overseas relocate yeah you can come from overseas at that stage to come and see the show there were overseas listeners that were going to come so yeah if you're uh competing in the australian open around that, you can come out a little bit earlier, see our show, now that you don't have to quarantine.

Novak, unfortunately, you can't come because you need the VACs to get into the venue. But yeah, everyone... Do you think they're going to stick to that? I mean, they're saying they're not going to have him in, but that seems crazy. I hope so. That'd be so funny. It'd be awesome. But it seems too good to be true.

I can't see it happening. I think they're going to do it be awesome, but it seems too good to be true. I can't see it happening. I think they're going to do it. Absolutely. Fucking awesome. Yeah, it's going to be great. To think that they won't let that Serbian into the country, but they let Malanin, who, of course, has done way much more damage. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, January the 15th, the actual 500th episode, nearly sold out Atheneum Theatre. Us in the absolute big boy room, the biggest show we've ever done. The thing, look, I won't oversell it. You can just go back and listen to episodes from 18 months ago to figure out what we think about this episode actually happening.

Heaps and heaps of guests. Going to be super great. We're going to have to bring back our idea about the good party and the bad after party as well. Oh yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. So we'll be doing that as well. But, yeah, put it in your diary.

It's summer. It's going to be fun. It's going to be good weather. Not that, you know, there's a roof on top, so I guess that doesn't really care. It doesn't matter. Not for long. Yeah, but get excited. Of course, the second bit of exciting live show news is before all that happens as you heard on the regular episode uh

december 11th of saturday we are heading up to the to our newly crowned favorite coolest town in victoria the union in heathcote yeah saturday december the 11th still got to finalize the time because this has all just happened right before we've started recording so it'll be an afternoon gig late afternoon yeah so if you want to go up and back in the day, you can. Yeah, because to very loosely quote Terry, we don't want to be competing with the 50 or 60 counter meals they're doing at the time. So we need to have the podcast nice and early so it doesn't cause the kitchen too much drama. Oh, I really love that.

We do the gig and then we all stick around for a counter meal afterwards. Absolutely. It's going to be great. I'm so keen because the one listener out there that is from Heathcote, he did tell me it's got a good rep for counteries now. And Terry, when I was talking to Terry, when I wasn't pissing my pants in fear, he was telling me the numbers of counter meals he was doing. I had to call him back because he was too busy.

Flat chat. On a Monday night. Yep. Jesus. So, sounds like a... They probably got some special on, right? Oh, maybe. Maybe it's steak night on a Monday night.

Yeah, maybe. That would explain it. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it now. So, yeah, good grub up there apparently. Maybe we can do a big pub crawl later on. Yep. But very excited. Very excited to be going to the Union Hotel Heathcote.

As close to Koh Samui as we can get at this point. Yep. So head to littledumdumclub.com. All the details will be up there very soon. Keep an eye on the socials on Twitter and Instagram. And like I said, if you want to be part of the big fun party bus on the way up there, hosted by Milan, we're going to have tickets on sale for that on Friday, November the 29th.

October, fuck. Friday, October 29th. This Friday. If you listen to this, hot off the presses in a couple of days. Yes. So these will go very quickly. So it's not a big, big bus. So that means that you will come up and come back.

And by then, we will have the info whether we're coming back on the same night or whether we're staying overnight. Yep. We've just got to finalize. Availabilities of accommodation up there. Yes. Yes.

Absolutely. But yeah, great. It's locked in. We've crowned a winner. Yeah. Now all we've got to do is sell the tickets. Yeah. And that's where you come in.

And just don't tell Terry about what this idea was originally. No. Yeah. We've been looking, all right? We've been looking for the best town and pub the whole time. And we found it. Can't wait to meet Terry. Yeah.

I'm looking forward to meeting this famous Terry character. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Meet Terry. Meet these counter meals. Get bashed. We might have to move the pool tables is the tip I got.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Because they put the pool table down there in the space. Because there wasn't too many stage shows happening. Yep. In the third pub underneath. No, it's not. I keep thinking it's underneath the union.

It's not. It's out the side. But there is, you know what? You know, we can incorporate into the show maybe. Guess what else is out there in the performance room now? Buck Hunter Machine. Oh, close. Jukebox.

Oh, now we're talking. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Love this. Yeah. So we might, if we can get our theme song on the jukebox, that's how we can play it at the start of the show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. As long as someone's got $2. Yep. Yeah. Well, that's enough time. That's a couple of months for them to order in a CD of Aloe Black. Yes. Chuck it in the jukebox.

Yeah, they'd get a real good whirl in Heathcote, I'd imagine. The closest I think I've ever come to being bashed was being in a country pub with a mate who's a big fan of musical theatre and kept putting on It's Raining Men and all this kind of stuff on the jukebox of being bashed was being in a country pub with a mate who's a big fan of uh musical theater and kept putting on like it's raining men and all this kind of stuff on the jukebox and just seeing all the locals looking at us going we are gonna get fucking killed here was he doing it on purpose to like annoy people or was he doing it because he enjoyed it uh i don't know i would say to this

day i would say then he just enjoyed it then Because if he's not letting you in on how funny is this, then I think he's doing that for his own good. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was for his own enjoyment. Yeah, right. But also, just to have the real blinkers on, was not taking in the severely pissed off looks we were getting from the other people in the room. Well, I'm looking forward to looking for...

Who recorded that song? It's Raining Men. Is it the Weather Boys? Am I out of my mind by saying that? Yeah, who is the original by? Yeah. I'm going to look it up and you're probably going to beat me because you're on a laptop. Yeah, but I'm using my left hand.

I was about to type, I'm Raining Men. Yeah. That's your version. Yeah. The Weather Girls. There you go. Okay. I was very close. The I'm reigning man. Yeah. That's your version. Yeah. The Weather Girls. There you go. Okay. I was very close.

The Weather Boys, I said. Of course, co-written by Paul Schaefer, the head of the CBS Orchestra and David Letterman's show. Really? Yes. Interesting stuff. Well, you'll be hearing that out in the beer garden at the Union in Heathcote. Yeah. So keep your eye on the socials for all the ticket links and stuff.

But yeah, it's coming up soon. Also, something that you can do, you can head toote. Yeah. So keep your eye on the socials for all the ticket links and stuff. But yeah, it's coming up soon. Also something that you can do, you can head to patreon.com slash little dum-dum club and support the show. Get two bonus episodes every week with different guests. Always a lot of fun on them. We talked about one of them in this episode that you just heard. So if that's the kind of stuff that you want to hear, you can get over there, get yourself some bonus content.

But perhaps most importantly, you go into the draw to have your name read out and immortalized in an episode of The Little Dumb Dumb Club. The Mount Rushmore of comedy. Yeah, the people in today's one, what a prestigious one to be on. The first one back in a house after a long lockdown and then broadcasting from inside pubs.

When you go down to the little Dum Dum Club listener bar, where you hang out with fellow listeners, not a bad little start of a conversation. Oh, my name's Kenny. You remember me. Not really. The Kenny that was read out on the first In A House, Talking Dumb Dumb recording.

Post lockdown. Yeah, in a few months. Yeah. Wow. Oh, you got read out on a Zoom episode. Yeah. That is going to really create a line in the sand with the fans, I reckon. The second-class citizens that got read out on Zoom episodes.

Yeah, yeah. But, you know, we needed those people-class citizens that got read out on Zoom episodes. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, we needed those people even more. Yeah. Because nothing else was going on. Yeah, it must be nice, Kenny. I'm a Zoomer. Yeah. But you got read out in the room.

Okay, Zoomer. Yeah. All right, let's crack in. Let's do it. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Jono Rowe. Jono Rowe. Jono Rowe. Jono Rowe. I hate it.

Wow. I hate it. It's odd. Yeah. It's, it's, if you, if there was like a name board that you had to sort of, you know, you know, get ticked off by. Yep. For it to exist as a name. I would not be clearing this.

I don't like Jono being put down as someone's name. Jono's like, if we're friends, known each other for a little while, you know, it's like it's sort of nickname territory. It's not really a nickname. Okay. But, you know, it's casual enough. Coming from a bloke called Tommy. Yeah, I don't know.

Tommy's in a different realm to Jono. I don't know. You never really hear people calling themselves Jono, I don't think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wouldn't. Yeah. Look, not formally, I think. And I think this is a formal situation. Yeah, exactly. This is a bit of a black tie affair,'t think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wouldn't, yeah. Look, not formally, I think. And I think this is a formal situation.

Yeah, exactly. This is a bit of a black tie affair, I think. Yeah. So for you to come and stink it up like this in thongs, Jono, a little bit rude, especially. This is the Melbourne Club of Podcasts. Yeah. No chicks.

Yeah. And especially on our first day back in a house. Exactly. On such a, you know, we walked a red carpet to get into your house. I mean, I feel like my house has been made a little bit dirtier by this name, being uttered within its four walls. I feel like, yeah, definitely the reputation of it has been dragged down into the gutter just outside.

Yep, exactly. John O'Rowe. John O'Rowe. It just sounds weird too. R-O-W-E? R-O-E. Yeah, weird. Even weirder.

Really weird name to look at. I'm glad you can't see the name from where you are because I'm looking at it and I'm freaking out. Jonathan Rowe? John Rowe. Yeah. They're fine. Yeah. Why are you going by Jono when you've got that?

I'd go Jonathan Rowe. Like if my last name, like me going by Tommy, yeah, that's a decision that I've made. But if my last name was Mimi, I wouldn't be going by Tommy. Yeah. Tommy Mimi. I wouldn't be going by Tommy. Tommy Mimi. I wouldn't be doing it. I'd be factoring that in and I'd be going, all right, well, now there's certain versions of this name that are just off limits to me

because of that. John O'Rourke. Yeah. Also, I'm presuming he's won half of the lawsuit, the argument, in Wade versus Rowe. Oh, right. I don't know if he's pro or anti-abortion. Yeah. What do you think, after hearing this name,

I'm definitely more pro it. In hindsight. In hindsight, yeah. Retroactive abortion. I wonder which size he's on, Jono. I mean, Jono, I'm thinking pro. Which do you prefer, retroactive abortion or early access euthanasia?

35, I've got two options here. That's the real scrunch or fold toilet paper, isn't it? It really is, yeah. Of 2021. Are you getting your mum to take care of you at 35 or are you getting old Kevorkian to come in and just kick back? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's an interesting one,

the whole getting someone else to do your dirty work for you. You know, we've got plenty of wonderful bridges around Melbourne. Why do you have to get someone else to, you know, have such a shit time of it and have to fucking pull the plug or something? Be a man. Go and do it yourself. Well, you know, I think some of them like it. Kevorkian, I reckon he...

He was into it. Yeah, he was into it. He was a campaigner. You can't do it so much and not... and hate it. Well, I mean, if you're like...

You can't hate it. Yeah, if you're him and your day is people with their last moments on earth, their dying breath, they're saying, thank you. Thank you for freeing me

from this pain. Right. No one else would. It's not technically like legal in certain areas, but you've come in and you've done this for me. Thank you for freeing me from this pain. Right. No one else would. It's not technically like legal in certain areas, but you've come in and you've done this for me. Thank you for putting me out of this pain. That would feel great. I guess it's like a bit of a God complex thing where you would feel like,

look at me, just going around, ending life wherever I see fit. You know what I think? The only thing you'd have to think about is make sure you get them to pay their bills before you do your job, I reckon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's one of the few jobs where, nah, upfront, thanks. Just going into Dr. Kevorkian and going, do I get any of this back on Medicare? I imagine that is like, there must have been an argument at some stage between Dr. Kevorkian

and the patient where it's like, I'll have it upfront, thanks. Nah, you can have it it's not how it's done once it's once the job's done how do i know how do i know how do i know what about half up front half after yeah oh that's really just getting a half-price job or he's going to the family and he's like you know right before i um you know administered the drug he was telling me that he actually wanted to give me a thousand dollars um where's the tip he promised me halfway through when it was just hitting his vein he's going this is you've fucking now done that he actually wanted to give me a $1,000 tip. Where's the tip he promised me? Halfway through when it was just hitting his veins,

he's going, you've fucking outdone yourself this time. Yeah, he said I can have sex with you too. So off you go. Come on. It was his dying wish. It was his dying wish. Yeah. If it wasn't for me, it would have just been his wish.

It's a shame you weren't in the room to hear it. But I was. And therefore, I have to enact his wishes. And it tends to happen every time. I'm pretty good at my job. Yep. Well, thanks, Jono. Thanks, Jono Rowe. We got a pretty good riff out of it in the end.

Yeah. But still, filthy on it. Yeah. It wasn't worth hearing the name for. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Francis Byrne. B-Y-R-N-E, just so you know what you're playing with. Oh, okay. Relative of David Byrne, perhaps.

I would assume. Yep. Last count, there was only three of them in the world. Right. So this person is either his mum or his dad. Talking heads front man. And then who's the other one? The mum.

David Byrne's mum. Yeah. Right. But surely she's not, I mean, she's married into it, but she's not I mean she's married into it But she's not technically a Well A lot of that happens Tommy Yeah

A lot of people Take the name Yeah Yeah A lot of that A lot of that happens Okay Well we've got the

Yeah we've got the daughter of David Byrne Is this the daughter you think? Well Yeah maybe Yeah It's I don't know why I'm getting

Female vibe from Frances Yeah I don't know why I'm getting female vibe from Francis. Yeah, I don't know why either. I think we're going to have to go. I did a thing on the weekend. We're going to the book. I did a thing on the weekend where I was doing like a Zoom gig thing essentially and I was not allowed to gender people at any point. Sounds cool.

And it was one of the most stressful directives I've ever been given because you were just in the habit of going, look at this guy. Like I had to print, I had to like write a little note saying no gender and stick it to my monitor to try and really not make, not be doing it by accident. Right. How's it hanging? Couldn't say that, for example.

Check out the cock on this fella. Cock's fine. Cock's fine but the fella is a bit over the board. Boy I'd like to bum this bloke.

Whatever you guys are I want to fuck you. There you go I'm being cool. I'm not fussy. God I'd love to put my lips on

whatever genitalia they have. Yeah I'm not fussy. I want your holes whoever you are. Whatever's there. I'm not fussy. God, I'd love to put my lips on whatever genitalia they have. Yeah, I'm not fussy. I want your holes, whoever you are. Whatever's there. I'm getting in. Francis. I think Francis.

Well, look, my guess would be, and I might be wrong, I think Francis looks like this fella. Not to, you know, look, whatever, but there's one Francis Byrne I can find. I mean, this would have been great, me doing this on this stream over the weekend. Just instead of commentating the thing I was meant to be talking about, just be like, now hold up here.

I'm just going to look this person up online and find out what gender they are from Facebook so that I can let rip with the pronouns. So Francis Byrne, he's not in the millionaire club on Patreon. Get in there. You've earned it. You're paying your money for it. The only Francis Burnie I can find on Facebook that looks suspiciously like what we might

be dealing with here is someone, a mutual friend, Dave Callan. Okay. Yeah. This is sounding promising. So not too fussy, obviously, if he's hanging out with someone of that ill repute. Who, Dave or Francis? Dave. Okay.

Yeah, if you're dealing with some Scottish vagrant like that, you're not too good to be in our millionaire group is what I'm saying. Yes, yes, yes, yes, okay. So get in. Francis. Yeah, I don't know. As a name. As a name.

As a guy's name. Ending with a C-I-S. Not sure. Oh, that's the ultimate twist, isn't it? Yeah, I don't know about... I don't mind it as a name, but I wouldn't want it as mine. Yeah, I don't know about – I don't mind it as a name, but I wouldn't want it as mine. Yeah.

I would – well, it couldn't go the other way. I hate it as a name. I would like it as my own. Yeah, I wonder if I'll ever come across a name where I'm like, I wouldn't like this on other people, but I'd like it to be mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate it in general, but it fits me. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I hate myself. I have low self-esteem. So this is what I deserve is to be called fucking Johnny fits me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I hate myself. Low self-esteem. So this is what I deserve. Yes. Is to be called fucking Johnny Mudd. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Johnny Mudd. Johnny Mudd. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. That's good. Been thinking a lot about the person I brought up last week, ex-resident of this house, Clifton

Bagerman. Oh, yes. Just wondering what he's up to. Like I said, the last trace of him online, a status from five years ago that says having lunch. All right. Wonder what lunches he's had since. Man, I wish you hadn't brought that up. I'd love to be Clifton Bagaman.

Is that what his name is? Yep. Right now? Because it's two o'clock, I haven't had lunch. Yep. Now I'm thinking of him. Now he's stuck in my head. Fuck, I wish I could be making a sweet update like that.

But Johnny Mudd, I wonder if he's had lunch. There's a resort in Koh Samui that I stayed in called The Mudd. I have to admit, I did stay in there because of its name. I was like, this is the dumbest name. And how was it? Better or worse than the name led you to believe? It was pretty good. Saying it's worse than the name mud would be devastating yeah it

was dirt it wasn't even wet oh shit uh it was pretty good it was it's a bit weird they were they're all weird sort of like little huts and houses that they they they built on it's in like a distant part of the island nowhere near the like the cool popular bits yeah like way up in the in the northwest of the island. And yeah, it was all, it all looked like it was supposed to be like sort of like sustainable or whatever, but it wasn't. They just made it look sort of cool. That's cool.

Yeah, yeah. So it wasn't bad, but it was, I did feel like saying, it's fine. You know, it's all, it looks sustainable. Just so you know, you didn't trick me. I didn't think I was coming here because it was sustainable. I came here because your name is real dumb. Yeah. Yeah.

I like the fact that you're now riffing on the name Johnny Mudd. Yeah. Not the name that's been read out. Just one I made up five seconds ago. Well, I didn't have anything for Francis Burns. So, I felt like we, I'm going to have something for something.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. That's the golden rule of the show. As long as it's something. Yeah. As long as it's in there, that's fine.

As long as it's something, it's something. Yeah. I mean, all there, that's fine. As long as it's something, it's something. All I've got is Francis. But Francis Byrne, I will say. David Byrne, Talking Heads, one of my favorite bands. Absolutely fucking love the Talking Heads. One of the greats. Went and saw The Great Man a couple of years ago.

Maybe one of the best concerts I've ever been to. So good. I can't imagine him being that good live. His Broadway show that he he's like Broadway show that he's doing now is amazing okay he's doing like

choreography and shit it's great right well they do that in Broadway they do choreography well yeah but it was like he did a like it was his tour

that it was just him doing solo and then talking head stuff where he had kind of done it like it was a musical with choreography and stuff yeah and then someone went oh you're just doing a band gig, but this could be on Broadway.

Right. So, great musician, bit of a cunt. Massive cunt from what I hear. From all accounts. Yeah. Yes. Right. Well, maybe that's something that Francis Byrne and him share in common.

I read an interview with him the other day because- Is this Francis or David? Francis, yeah. About subscribing to the Little Dumb Dumb Club and how much they enjoy it. Yeah. But yeah, David Byrne about Dumb Dumb Club and how much they enjoy it. But yeah, David Byrne about that show has just reopened on Broadway. And I hate myself for falling for it, but it was like real click-baity.

David Byrne on, you know, reopening on Broadway and the possibility of Talking Heads getting back together. I'm like, oh, I want to find out about this. And then it's like all this stuff about, you know, what he learned in the pandemic and how great Broadway's been, da-da-da, and then it's like all this stuff about you know what he learned in the pandemic and how great broadway's been and then gets like last paragraph it's like and as for the chances of talking heads reuniting and then quotation marks no that will never happen right it's like oh you fucking cunts you got me i got click baited yeah fucking brutal yeah um well good news is francis is a big chance of fronting Talking Heads instead. Okay.

Being the son or daughter or dad or mum. Of David. That's the ultimate crossing of the picket line. That's huge. Yeah. Yeah, Talking Heads is back. Big news. Let's use that as the sell on Facebook for this episode.

Yeah, yeah. We find out about who's the new lead the sell on Facebook for this episode. Yeah, yeah. We find out about who's the new lead singer of the Talking Heads. Yeah. What was their band that he sued them over? Like all the other band members put out an album and they called it something like Talking Without the Heads. Oh, really? Something like that. And I think David Byrne sued them over it.

Oh, really? Yeah. Josh Homme, I think, sued Caius. Caius broke up and then he formed Queens of the Stone Age. It's pronounced kiss. And then... The band that he's in is called Kiss. Yeah.

And then, yeah, Caius got back together and they were like... He was like, no, it's like... No, you're not getting back together without me. I love it. Okay, do you want to be part of it? No. Fucking hell. Pretty great. Thanks, Francis. Thanks, do you want to be part of it? No. Fucking hell. Pretty great.

Thanks, Francis. Thanks, Francis. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Peter Duggan. Duggan? D-U-G-G-A-N. Okay. P-E-T-E-R. I feel like I'm leaving something out when I don't spell their entire name.

Peter Duggan. Yeah. Any thoughts? Well, we know someone with the Peter Duggan. Yeah. Any thoughts? Well, we know someone with the surname Duggan, so I'm wondering if, as always... It's him, but it's got a different name. It's a combination of them. Yeah.

I played soccer with a guy with the surname Duggan, and he was okay. There you go. He was okay? Yeah. He was fine. Just completely unremarkable. Pretty much. He was okay. Yeah. He was fine. Just completely unremarkable. Pretty much.

He had brown curly hair. He was probably about five foot nine, maybe eight. Yeah, this is the first time I've ever thought of him since then. Wow. Literally the first time I've thought of him since I stopped playing soccer with him. Nigh on, no, yeah, I reckon more than 25 years ago. Okay. What do you think he's been up to?

For some reason, he's still in my head. I could still retrieve him. He's rattling around in there. Yeah. You need prompting. You need someone with the same last name as him to come into your, you know, field of vision. Well, sure, of course I need something.

How could he come out of there with nothing? Yeah, well, you know, there might be something else. In the last 25 years, you might have seen like a breed of dog that he had the same one as. And you go, oh, yeah, like Duggan. He could have come to me in a dream or something. Yeah, yeah, right. But unless you're looking at the name directly, nothing in the last 25 years has reminded you of him. No.

But thank you, Peter, for bringing up, I won't say a fond memory. I'll just say a memory. A memory, yeah. A person that. Not negative, though. No. up, I won't say a fond memory. I'll just say a memory. A memory, yeah. Not negative, though. No. It's not like he assaulted you or something. I nearly have, it might be a person that I have literally, and this is rare for me, literally no opinion of.

No thought on one way or the other. Yeah, just barely, I vaguely remember what he looks like. For a minute, I forgot his first name and then I remembered it. So it was nearly gone. That would be a great exercise to go through all the people that you know or that you can remember from across your life and make a list of how many of them you have no thought one way or the other about. What about?

So I wouldn't say they're a friend, wouldn't say I have positive memories, but also not negative, and then just get in touch and go, congratulations for being thoroughly, thoroughly unremarkable. What about this as a game? Sit there. Now, this should have been a lockdown game. Two people. We could play this.

Name everyone you've ever met. Oh, that's good. And then you have to just, you know, you can use social media because the other person has to verify that it's a person. In order? No. In order is pretty fun. Doctor, mum, whatever.

Mum, dad. And then the first few years, you're like, like I'd be floundering up until like prep. Yeah. I would find it impossible to put the order of where I met people. Yeah. And then from school, I could go through classmates year by year, I reckon. Yeah.

And then post-school, you're thinking like first jobs, you're thinking... Yeah. Workmates. But you've got to be able to recall the names. Sorry? You've got to be able to recall the name. Yes, absolutely. So I can't just go, my boss when I worked at Baker's Delight.

No. I can't remember her name for the life of me. No. So what happens then? Well, you can't count them. They don't count. Oh, right. So the question is, how many names can you recall from across your life of people you've

met? Yes. And then you just keep going until at some stage that one person in the game says, I can't remember any more people that I've met. Right. And whoever has remembered the most people across their life, they win. Yes. Yeah.

And then you play again the next day. Yeah. You write it down. You burn the piece of paper, so you're starting from scratch and you're hoping that... And then you go home, you work on it, you start thinking, who else do I know? Yeah, you're having dreams about like old classmates and stuff and then you're hoping that maybe someone who loses the first time around,

well, because they've had that practice, they actually then find that first bit quite easy the next day and they get up to that initial number quite easily. But now they've rattled a few extra ones loose in the previous 24 hours. Absolutely. God, I hope we go into lockdown again. This sounds fun. Yeah, you do a bit of mind mapping.

You just find like one guy, you go, oh, John O'Rowe. All right, what was his mate? Who do I remember hanging out with him with? Did I ever do bongs with him in a shed with someone else? Imagine if you'd come in here today and there were just sheets and sheets of paper with just all these names on them and you're going, what's this? And we go, oh, we're trying to remember how many people

we've both met ever in our lives. Yeah, we just finished the game of all the people we've ever met. Put that on TV. Yeah, just get a contestant in. Okay, John. Yeah. I'm a contestant in. Okay. Yeah. John. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm out. I can only remember one. Yeah. Mum. Who else do I know that knows mum? What about dad? Fuck. Oh, fuck.

Fuck. All right. I know for next time. I know for next time. Make a note of that one. All right. Well, thanks, Peter Duggan. Thanks, Peter Duggan. I've got one more name in my brain, thanks to that.

If I ever play a game of that tonight, go home and play that with my wife. Yep. Sick of playing with a kid. Kid can only name about three. Just thrashing them every day. A little blanket can name about seven people. I have literally played this game with her. I just remembered.

I have played this game with her before. Who do you know? Yeah. So she's got you and don't say her name. Yes. The grandparents. Two sets of grandparents. Both sets of grandparents.

So it's six. And then her aunties. Okay. Right. She's racking them up. Aunties and a couple of cousins. Okay. All right. She's doing all right. She's filling up the up Aunties And a couple of Cousins Okay Alright

She's doing alright She's filling up the Rolodex Yeah yeah She's not too bad at this game Yep I mean it's a lot easier for her That's already too many Yeah

I'm thinking If I'm her I'm like I'm already needing to scale back Yeah I'm needing to go through The Facebook friends And be like

I haven't talked to these people In a while They can go But if we play Name all the people You've ever met With blanket Does that mean We win or we lose Like once she gets about Seven in I haven't talked to these people in a while. They can go. But if we play name all the people you have ever met with blanket, does that mean we win or we lose?

Like once she gets about seven in and she's named all of them, do we win because we have named more people or does she win because she's named all of the people? She's named 100% of the people that she's met. I think she has to win. I also think you'd have to work out some kind of algorithm where the age plays a factor as well, all that kind of stuff. I think at the moment it's a real benefit to be three years old playing that game.

Okay. All right. All right. Okay. Well, I'll let her know the new rules. Give her the championship belt. Well, I'm just not going to play it with her anymore, to be honest. Yeah.

Why go home and get beat by your two- a half year old at a game you made up? Yeah. Give her another couple of years. Wait for her to meet another couple of people and rattle some of the old ones out. Yeah.

Or just start withholding people from her. Yes. Just cut a few of the aunties off. Tell her that we're still in lockdown. Give her two years time she'll have forgotten. Yeah.

She's not meeting new people because we're in lockdown. Yeah. So, don't you know who she met the other day for the first time? Kappa. Oh, really? Yeah. lockdown. Yeah. Don't you know who she met the other day for the first time? Kappa.

Oh, really? Yeah. Nice. Yeah. So I don't know if that's- What was her take? Could have bad. I don't know.

She just held her nose. It was weird. All right. Okay. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Demelza Booth. Oh, my God. D-E-M-E-L-Z-A. Mm-hmm. B-O-O-T-H. Right. Demelza Booth. Oh, my God. D-E-M-E-L-Z-A. Mm-hmm.

B-O-O-T-H. Right. Demelza Booth. Okay. Demelza Booth. Demelza Booth. Demelza Booth. Is that some sort of like a...

I mean, I don't want to sound too hacky, but is that some sort of chair you buy at Ikea? Demelza Booth. Sounds like the sort of thing where if we say it too many times, a demon is going to appear. Oh, yeah. It sounds like we're doing a ritual in here. Demelza Booth. Demelza Booth. Sounds like the sort of thing where if we say it too many times, a demon is going to appear. Oh, yeah. It sounds like we're doing a ritual in here. Demelza Booth.

Demelza Booth. Demelza Booth. Should have the pentagram carved into the carpet. Demelza Booth. Bit of a sacrifice going on. Yeah. Demelza. I'm putting it out there.

I reckon this is the first Demelza that's ever listened to this show. Mm-hmm. Demelza. You were on your computer. I thought you were searching for a minute, going through the records to find out, have there been any other Demelzas? I just did a quick search,

and there's so many Demelzas. I've never heard of this name ever. What nationality do you think? Oh, I wouldn't like to say. Man, hang on a minute. Hang on a minute hang on a minute this is what's going on i'm i'm looking but the melza booth this is the melza booth to melza i found finding a demelza booth from perth i'm like oh great well this this thing Lives in Perth And then it's like Oh no no

That's Demelza booth Not Demelza booth Oh right It's like you with like Carl with a C or a K Yeah I wonder if there I wonder if there's rivalry

I just went from thinking There wasn't a name Called Demelza To now Basically there's two names Called Demelza It's the most popular name On God's green earth

Yeah It's just overtaken John. Demo. What, is this a he or a she? I don't, do you know what? It says a lot about the name

that it's like, it's, in my head, it's completely genderless. Yeah. Like often I'm like, oh, Francis, okay,

I better think about this one. What sort of person I think this is. Demelza, I'm so taken by everything else with it that, you know, I'm just picturing it. I'm just picturing a featureless blob. Well, also, I'm a little bit offended that you've asked the gender.

Can't you read the sign on your computer that says don't assume, don't ask? Don't ask, don't tell. Yes. I believe it is a female name. Okay. From the examples I'm now finding at random, I believe it is a female name. So don't be naming any boys Demelza, Tommy, from now on. But that's why I think it's the perfect name in 2021, because it's like most people when they hear it,

if they're not familiar with it, it's devoid of gender. Right. So there's no temptation to sort of shoot from the hip and go, oh, yeah, check out this guy. Right. It's the perfect name for these times. This could even be, look, I'm doing a lot of investigation here. This could be, there's a Demelza, but not a Demelza Booth,

there's called a Demelza something else that's friends with a mutual friend on Facebook. Okay. Nick Carr. Okay. So it could be one of these people. You know those people on Facebook that use their middle name as their last name? Yes. Yep, yep, yep.

I think this person might be one of them. Okay. So this person, the one mutual friend might be Nick Carr. Please, now if I've said this and if this is wrong, a thousand apologies by making such a slur on your name. Yep. By saying that you're friends with Nick Carr I'm so sorry

this is a pure mix up I'm looking desperately for content and this is what I found I'm clinging on to it yeah the idea that I mean it's such a rare name that the idea that

it's just a a random Demelza who happens to be friends with someone that's been on this podcast is absurd it has to be the same it happens to be friends with someone that's been on this podcast is absurd. It has to be the same person.

It has to be. Yeah. I couldn't imagine there's two Demelzas out there that are in any way connected to this show. Yeah. What are the odds? A million to one. I would say it's a billion to one. So I'd be betting with me rather than you because I'm giving better odds.

Oh, the payout of that yeah chucking down one dollar sports bet giving you a cool billy imagine if that was like all the sports bets

you know those betting ads that you see on TV and it's all like you know the odds on football games and stuff and like

if you just said made betting more interesting the odds of you knowing two different people called Demelza well isn't that not a million miles away from the shit they were doing when sport all got cancelled when the pandemic

was kicking off wasn't it like you could bet on what the weather was going to be in a week's time or something really well what are they going to do they've got no games that you can bet on I have a feeling that someone was I feel like I saw that on social media that that was a thing for a little bit it was like they're a fucking betting agency.

They're not going to shut up shop. They want money to keep coming in. So it's like, oh, yeah. How many people are going to be on a ventilator tomorrow? Yeah. Great. Yeah. And especially like the people who are addicted to gambling are like, well, now I literally

have no other distractions. Right. Right. I need this to happen. Because, yeah, when you think about it, I mean, weather's like a great one. Because you can have the forecast. It's just a prediction, though. That's the same thing as just going, well, this team on paper,

they are better, so they should win. Doesn't always go that way, though. But, God, imagine the people going down the rabbit hole. If you were seriously putting good money on the weather, imagine the sort of rabbit hole you're going down into where where it's like it's 26 it's not fucking 26 bureau meteorology they've got it in the thermometer's broken the locks in yep and then imagine imagine kicking off about the feels like 23 it's 26 well fuck it's 23 then yeah pay out i bet 23 degrees no but that's me. That's a multi that you can get. If you can get the actual temperature that feels like correct.

If you're betting on weather, I'm sure there must be a lawsuit on if you bet for 23 degrees and then it feels like 23, you said it yourself, then it's 23. If it feels like it is, then it is 23. Yeah, what does the temperature exist for? That's what I feel like when I'm out there. What does a number on a screen mean? Nothing.

Yeah. Well, thanks, Demelza. Thanks, Demelza. Say hi to Nick Carr for us. No offence. Okay, we've got one more. Okay. We've got one more.

I'll just do this and I'll go to lunch. Yep. Thank you very much to Fifth and Final this week, Patreon subscriber. Thank you very much to Kenny Comedy. Kenny Comedy. Why? I wrote it down before. It was a reference to like at the start we were talking about.

Were we? Kenny, like a listener called Kenny. I can't remember the context now to be honest. A listener called Kenny. I was just like... Oh. I can't remember the context now, to be honest. A listener called Kenny. I just... You wrote it down. Yeah, when we started this thing... What do you mean you wrote it down?

Well, I just made a note of it. Cut this out. And I said at the start... Yeah. I made some reference like... Oh, I vaguely remember now. Yeah, someone being called Kenny. To be honest, honest I mean so much

more riffable stuff has happened since then that it's kind of pushed Kenny out of my brain yeah I just wrote it down I was like if

nothing else comes up I'll just anyway cut back thanks Kenny Comedy thanks Kenny Comedy yeah thanks for

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