The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 591 - Ed Kavalee & Lloyd Langford

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

This week we're joined by ED KAVALEE and LLOYD LANGFORD! We dig in to Lloyd's favourite reggae music, Ed's personal history with the Nintendo Entertainment System, and doing comedy before the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. PLUS there's a massive development in the ongoing adventures of Karl's life on the standby list for a major airline AND we uncover how to get a free Rolex watch! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dum Dum Club, a great new episode with guests Ed Cavalli and Lloyd Langford. We have a bunch of tour dates coming up. We have Brisbane, Adelaide, Perth and Melbourne. Heaps of shows coming up. Heaps of fun to be had. littledumdumclub.com for all the tickets. We are going to talk to you in more detail at the end of the episode in Talking Dum Dum. But until then, enjoy this one with Ed Cavalli and Lloyd Langford. Enjoy this one with Ed Cavalli and Lloyd Langford. Hey, mates.

Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow. With me, as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, Dickhead. Today on the show we have two very special guests. Please welcome back onto the podcast, Ed Cavalli and Lloyd langford yes hello yeah he goes first uh it's good to be here guys thank you for having me great to be here exciting thanks for doing it thanks for squeezing us in back on radio

yeah man taking a break from huthie yeah my man my man hughesie uh and aaron yeah we're doing our doing our thing in the mornings um and then yeah look, what matters today is it's the first time I've ever seen Lloyd's legs. Yep. Yep. And he's discussed his hat. He paid $70 for an obscure Chicago soccer team hat. Yep.

Which is normally the type of thing I would do. Yeah. So, you know what I mean? That's my territory. I've done a lot of that in lockdown. It's frustrating though because you're a frustrating person. Anytime I meet anyone from Europe. So, you know what I mean? That's my territory. I've done a lot of that in lockdown. It's frustrating, though, because you're a frustrating person. Anytime I meet anyone from Europe. Yes, do it.

Yes. Do it. This is it. And then they're not interested in football. Yeah. Very frustrating. This is actually an intervention. Seriously, Lloydy, I've been over this with you.

You're from Wales. Yeah? Yes. You claim to be from Wales. You moved to Australia. Yep. And how many times have I said to you, mate, soccer slash football, you need to be into Wales. You moved to Australia. And how many times have I said to you, mate, soccer slash football,

you need to be into it. Every time I do, have you been paying attention? You're like, are you into soccer yet? And I'm like, no. Because you don't live there anymore. You live here. Now I'm getting into Australian sports,

like I'm keen toward racing. But that's shit because you're more into them than you are into... Mate. The amount of Craig Bellamy and Ryan Giggs references I've dropped with you and you're giving me fucking donuts. Neville Southall. Yes. I mean, he is very good on social media. No, no, no, but he played football as well.

He was a goalkeeper. I know, he was the Welsh national keeper. I'm interested in all of these people, primarily Ryan Giggs for his extramarital affairs, with his brother's wife. With his brother's wife, that's right. Who is it with his brothers? Jesus Christ. To be fair to her, though, it's Giggs Who is it with his brothers? Jesus Christ.

To be fair to her, though, it's Giggs-y in it. You know what I mean? But it's also very funny because it's one of those... You know those celebrities like Patrick Swayze and his brother Don, who look like a sort of melted version of Patrick? Yes. The same thing with Ryan Giggs and his brother Rodri,

where it's like, oh, you're just like a... He looks like Ryan Giggs that you've bought off Wish. Exactly. Yes. The same thing with Ryan Giggs and his brother, Rodri, where it's like, oh, you're just like a... He looks like Ryan Giggs that you've bought off Wish. Exactly. Exactly. Thank you. Remember Doug Pitt? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Brad Pitt's brother. Brad Pitt's brother who did the... Oh, yeah. He did ads for Vodafone here. He looks really similar to him, right? Yeah, but just a little flottage down, a little bit 16-bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, a little bit someone drawing them that can't draw that well.

Yes. Someone drawing him with their wrong hand. Yeah. Here's my Brad Pitt. It's sort of, I don't know. It's more of a duck. Do you know the comedian Danny Boy? Yeah, of course.

So he told me a story once where he had this agent in the States that he wasn't getting along with very well, this agent in the states that he wasn't getting along with very well but they um said that they had a um a gig for him where he was supporting the red hot chili peppers on tour right okay what year is this oh this was like you know it i wouldn't say it was in their pump but it was cocks on socks era but no it was like They're still Sandals on cocks They're a bit older Cocks on cocks So he was like Well this would be

Like a brilliant opportunity And you know Like I'd be interested In doing the thing So I think we should Find out what it is Like it would be Stadium gigs

And travelling the world And all this kind of stuff And he kept like Asking the agent about it And they Just weren't Getting back to him at all They were just ignoring

the emails and stuff and he ended up leaving the agency and when he went in to collect something he spoke to the assistant agent and was like whatever happened with that made doing red hot chili peppers to her and she was like oh we got sent the offer through and it just wasn't like worth your while. It was something like 200 bucks a gig. And you had to provide your own travel and accommodation. And he goes, but this would be like a stadium. I don't understand what's going on. And it turned out that it wasn't

the Red Hot Chili Peppers. It was a group called the Red Hot Chili Pipers. Oh, yes. Yeah, okay. Who were a Scottish. A bagpipe cover band. Yeah, right.

Okay. So I think his agent... They were bagpipes on the dicks. Yeah, yeah, right. Socks over the pipes that they're not honking into, yeah.

I think his agent had gone back to them and said, yeah, he wants like $10,000 a gig. And they were like, well, we're not getting that. Yeah, when you assume that it is the Red Hot Chili Peppers, surely he's asking, how am I on the radar of the Red Hot Chili Peppers? I mean, Danny Boy used to come out to Australia and tour a lot. Flea's Australian, so maybe that was it. Maybe Flea caught him at the Adelaide Fringe one year.

Also, I mean, Danny Boy's also pretty big, and it's like I like the idea of having someone five times bigger than you as the opening act. Yeah, and Danny Boy, like, very, like, quiet, softly spoken comedian coming out before these, like, punk-f funk fucking idiots. The idea of comedy opening for any form of music is insane. Whenever I've heard of that, I'm like, has it ever worked?

We once had to do, Husey and I once did an intro for the Red Hot Chili Peppers at a benefit. It was like a massive outdoor benefit that was that was going on loidy like one of those big everyone come together things and they were like can you and dave go and like just have a chat to the crowd and introduce um the kings of leon right and i was like all right and dave's like okay and so we wander out there and we're and we're just sort of chatting to the crowd dave's doing some jokes people laughing we're having a good time right and we go and we and i look back and the stage manager's going Like giving us a thumbs up

Right And we're like I go Dave wrap up And so he does a joke Gets a laugh And then I go And Husey goes

And now please welcome The Kings of Leon And I turn back around And the same person Is doing the Stretch it out I go mate A few more gags

Right So then Husey has to pretend to be the Kings of Leon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, I want to manifest this Danny Boy opening for Red Hot Chili Peppers. That would be fucking something to see. Yeah. I've got some big news for this podcast.

Well, for me, for this podcast. What people think of what I do on this podcast. Some big news this week. There's going to be a change in how I get around the planet from now on. Tommy Dasolo. Listeners will know

my wife works for an airline. Amazon. She's Jeff Bezos. No, no. You're going to be travelling exclusively by space shuttle. None of those things. So she works for an airline.

She has left the airline. Oh, no. She's got a new job, which means... Of all the things she should leave, that's the one she picks. Oh, no. Which means... You're off the list. I'm off the standby list.

Oh, no, mate. I am so sorry. I'm off the travel list. Oh, that's devastating. What's this new... Can you hint around what the new... Are there any fringe benefits in the new job? It doesn't matter what it is.

Even if she's working for, like, Jonathan's Cocaine and it's not... It doesn't matter. The standby list is as good as it... I know. Oh, I'm so sorry. Explain to me... No! Explain to me the...

This is why it's so upset, okay? What was the... He's not thinking about how the fuck... you don't know anything about Craig Bellamy. He's thinking about what I'm missing out on, which is this. She works for an airline and that means I'm on the list for not free travel, but basically free travel. I'm the plus one, which means I'm on the standby list. If there's a plane that's partially empty, I just get to fucking pop on.

What I've been doing for the last five to six years is basically hitchhiking around the world. I've been sticking my thumb out, getting in last on. Is it 10% still, the fares? 10% of the fare? It's not hoops. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like, it's like you go, so okay, oh, you're like this. So when I was growing up, one of my best friends in high school, NJ, his mum was Japanese and he was really into video games

and that's how I got into video games. So that's why I'm always desperate for your super Famicom stuff. It sort of links back to that. That was the first thing you did when you walked in here is looked at all of Tommy's little toys and went, oh, you know what? My four-year-old would like all that. Four-year-old's a step up.

There's a three-year- old that we babysit that's around here like really really getting involved in this room so four's like I'm working my way up and I'll never forget on a Friday he wasn't at school one one Friday

lady and then in this in the 90s and then on Monday he was at school and he goes to me mate come over this afternoon I can't tell you why I go all right whatever he had gone to Japan on his

mum's with his mum's, with his mum on the 10% fares to buy the first Nintendo 64, the NTSC one, and have the first one in Australia for Monday. Like a year before it came out here. Yes, that's how cheap the fares were. It just popped on.

He just used it to go for a quick little shot. You could go to Japan to buy a Nintendo and come home on these fares. That sounds like one of those schoolyard lives. Like I went to Japan over the weekend to get the new...

Yes, you're right. Well, you think Carl's wife working for an airline is impressive. Why don't you hear about his uncle's job at Nintendo?

That's really going to blow your mind. Oh, I'm sorry, man. That sounds more like a lie. Oh, yeah, I've got this beautiful wife that works for an airline.

I'm sorry, man. What does this do for like... It's brutal. What does this do for like it's brutal what does this you know what does this do for your Thailand stuff

well exactly so that's the thing when's the cut off when's the new no straight away well yeah no but when's when she start the new job

oh like in a month okay this is horrific man yeah so so what it means is people always ask me like why are you going over there

so often it's like well it's cheap it's cheap that's why it's crazy cheap like if I can do it and it's close smart you know People always ask me, like, why are you going over there so often? It's like, well... It's cheap. It's cheap. That's why. It's crazy cheap. Like, if I can do it and it's close... Yeah, smart.

You know, if you can get on standby. Having said that, standby has changed in the last couple of years. Well, the last two years it's changed dramatically, basically. But before that, like, probably the last four years, all of a sudden, you know, I used to be able to pick and choose and do whatever the fuck I want and go on whatever flight I want. All of a sudden it turned into, well, you can't, you shouldn't really be going on a Friday night because it's going to be full up.

You don't, don't go on the busy days and go on Wednesday lunchtime or Tuesday or something like that. And even that, that started to get tricky. And then like, I mean, Tommy's seen it himself where we were in Koh Samui once and we were leaving the festival. It's like, oh great, we're all going to take off and hang out together and whatever. And everyone else got on a plane and went to Bangkok and they're all having a drink on the building at the top in The Hangover 2 when they're all on the million-story skyscraper.

And where was I? Having a 99-bar cocktail in the gutter in Koh Samui because I was still stuck there. I couldn't get on the plane. How pathetic is that that the coolest ones in the story are the guys pretending they're in The Hangover? Hangover 2, that's worse. We're the wolf pack, guys. The wolf pack.

No, no, no. Man, that was so much better than what I was doing because you know what I was doing? Yeah. I was going back because I'm on standby. I was repeatedly going back to the airport and then going, can I get on this next one? And they're going, no chance. And then going back. I think you're commuting in and out.

I was. Instead of just terminaling it Tom Hanks style, you're still... It was every 90 minutes or two hours. So what I was doing was waiting to get on one and them going no and me going, well, I could sit here for two hours or I could just go back into the town and have a few drinks and then come back again. Beautiful.

So I was doing that back in and out. I could just spend the cost of a fare on taxis to and from the airport all day. But I was doing that back in and out. I could just spend the cost of a fare on taxis to and from the airport all day. But I was doing that and then I was drinking and being at a bar and bringing a few drinks with me to the airport and then finishing them and then going, I'm not getting on this one. I'll just go back again. And it just got worse and worse. I was just getting more and more drunk

and the time I was spending at the airport was getting shorter and shorter. I was just out there going oh that doesn't mean the plane turned up for three minutes fuck this I might as well go back into town

and get a few more this is a great character from like a true crime podcast where it's like someone gets murdered in your vicinity in suspicious circumstances and your alibi is

it couldn't have been me I was going to and from the airport every half an hour and it's like you can hear the voices of the hosts being like something about this guy just doesn't check out why didn't he just wait at the airport every half an hour. It's like you can hear the voices of the hosts being like, something about this guy just doesn't check out.

Why didn't he just wait at the airport? Yeah, I would have got another month of unnecessary surveillance just because of my unbelievable story. But no, she's got a new job, right, on the Spirit of Tasmania. If I could just get them to divert it slightly north. Yeah, fine. It's going to be a long trip. Just waiting down at the docks

because all the cabins are full on the spirit. But I would say this. I would say this. The Asian trips weren't quite... They were a pretty good deal, but they weren't quite as good as what they could be because this certain airline that she worked for did not fly to Asia. It's more of a flight to Europe.

Yeah, gotcha, gotcha. But that still does mean that they've got the partnership. They've got the... Yeah, the co-chair. Yes. Yep. So they've got those deals with other airlines so that you can still do a bit of like, oh, mate's with your mate, so I can go like this.

The only thing is it did get a lot harder in the latter days because the relationship between her unnamed airline and the other airlines broke down a little bit. Yeah, a bit frosty. Over their treatment of people and their lifestyle choices and things like that. And, you know, say, for example, the CEO of Qantas and his lifestyle choice maybe didn't quite fit together too well.

His choice to be Irish yeah yeah that's right that's right yeah so so then that meant that when I was on standby

I don't really feel like giving partners and employees of your company a free flight anymore they would when I was when I would wait on standby they would like

I would get there and I'd go I'm with blah blah blah and they'd go cool you join the end of the line the standby line and they

it was like fucking Myspace or being a kid They'd order their friends In the preferences Classic So there was one There was one time I was like 20

There was 21 people in line And I got there first And 21 people I was last Jeez that's a lot I was 21st That's a lot So I'm sitting there

Waiting to get on Standby And I'm 21st Because they were like Just to be clear, you are the last preference on this flight because of what your airline and your association with believe.

Was this the time we were flying back from Montreal to New York? No, no. Because you also got stuck there. I've been stuck quite a bit. Also, if you travel on those airlines that aren't happy with certain people's lifestyle choices.

They very heavily edit the films. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I watched like Brokeback Mountain. It was like 19 minutes. Strange choice. Quite a nice fishing movie. Why can't I quit you? Quit what?

What are you talking about? Who's he talking to? There's a great line in that. Is it Danny Quaid? I haven't seen him for a long time. Randy Quaid? Who's the person who gets to say, I don't think they're fishing up there?

Oh. That's a great line. It could be. He's subsequently gone slightly local, hasn't he? Yeah, Randy Quaid. Maybe Tony. I can't remember. I've never seen it.

Not for any reason. Just never gotten around to it. No contest or anything like that. Just never got to it. I've seen like 20 minutes of like, you know, Vista shots. Sort of film for Montana.

10 minutes of credits. Well, you know, I was fine with all that. I was a victim of cheap travel washing. Yeah, you were travel washing. Travel washing. Yeah, but now I was fine with all that. I was a victim of cheap travel washing, I believe. Yeah, you were travel washing. Travel washing. Yeah, but now I see the light.

Yeah. Now I see the light and I won't travel with them again, basically, because I can't afford it. Exactly right. Yeah, yeah. But I'm right off them now. Yeah. So what about the dream?

Because I quote you sometimes about you guys put up a post, I can't remember when it was. Or maybe you just showed me the photo of a bar that was for lease. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think about that some, you know. Yeah. Because that dream that you guys held. Yes.

I just, it was like cocktail. It was like all those things. I just, I think about, honestly, I'll quote it sometimes. You know, the Dum Dum Boys, they've got this brilliant idea. They're going to open this bar It's like four grand a year Let's not say brilliant It's an idea

It is a brilliant idea How much was the rent for the joint In It's fuck all But How much Well the rent was The one that we were looking at

It was four thousand dollars For the whole thing Okay For four thousand dollars In where In Koh Samui Yeah Mate

Koh Samui Thailand A whole bar Slash venue Yeah Four thousand dollars Yeah but yeah i know i know but the thing is i was looking into it heavily but then i was like oh this is crazy to buy it so i like to not be there so next time i go reality show yeah i'm serious why not like have you seen escape to the chateau yeah it's fucking awful what's that oh these people i'm

meant to like them but they buy this chateau in france and it what's that oh these people i'm meant to like them but they buy this chateau in france and it's like are we ever going to get the money for this and you're like you're making a tv show and you're massively famous from it yeah i reckon you can afford the shutters i think he is he an engineer or something as well so like everything that's wrong with his shot it's like dilapidated but beautiful and he like that for me that would be a problem

what's the handiest thing because you've got a new baby you know you're living in Australia what's the handiest thing you've gotten done recently well we've had a pram

for three or four months and I've just figured out how to fold it there he goes so have you been doing I'm a I'm a big one

for stuff like that. Someone's got a big house. I've been... I've done this a few times where I've got the pram and just turned it sideways and shoved it into the back seat.

Is that what you're doing? Were you doing that pre this? It's got like... It had like a latch underneath. I was pushing buttons I didn't need

to be pushing. Right. It's just got one quick release kind of. And is your partner adept at folding it up? But I said to her, how the fuck are you supposed to do this because I've only got two hands

and there are three buttons. Yeah. And she was like, you just need that button. Right. And I was like, oh, yeah. It's a combination of tiredness. I pushed out the child.

Now I'm working out how to fold up the pram. How much more do I have to do? I'm a big one for that. I've had FaceTime calls where I've rung and gone, oh, we need to do a video of this. Oh, you need to show me. That's great. Point at a button or something.

You need to do this. Isn't that what YouTube is? Are you – what are our YouTube deep dives at the moment? We'll go around and see what are you into at the moment? Well, back to Thailand. What are we talking, streetscapes? I've gone beyond the... I was a big one for just webcams.

I know you are. I love that about you. Yeah, but now I've discovered vlogs. So now I'm finding the travellers that are... Western travellers are stuck in Thailand that are just doing laps and running into each other repeatedly. You're seeing people pop up in the background of other vloggers and you're like, fuck it.

It's like the Marvel Universe. It's like the MCU. It's the VCU. But with herpes. All right, vloggers. Yeah, I'm into that. What are you, Lloydy? What's your YouTube at the moment?

What are you into? Fucking jazz. No, reggae. Oh, yeah. Well, that's very nice. You're a reggae guy now. Thailand adjacent. Yeah, exactly.

I discovered reggae in Thailand. I used to high now Yeah exactly I discovered reggae in Thailand I used to hate reggae And then I Discovered reggae in Thailand I did I was like I don't get it Why would anyone be into reggae And then I sat with my feet

In the water And with like a It's the combo With a $2 long neck of beer Yeah And with a $3 curry And went I think I get Bob Marley now actually

But what was playing How did you hear it What was it playing in the venue They just repeatedly have the best of bob marley at any of those like piece of shit really okay and and how's and so what's who's big in reggae at the moment who's killing it oh man i like like every aspect of my life i'm only interested in things from the past i was gonna say no one's got any new like is it dubstep reggae? I don't know. Yeah, they've got new reggae kids on TikTok, I don't think so. There is a very good show on PBS in Melbourne called Rhythm Yard. And the guy plays like all manner of stuff.

Okay. And he plays like new stuff as well, which I don't like as much. What's your cut off? I like the older stuff. I'll listen to anything, but Anne, my partner, told me an incredibly funny story once where, so this show, Rhythm Yard, he plays incredibly obscure stuff,

and he plays stuff that's like... Rhythm Yard. Yeah, rhythm, like as in rhythm. Oh, Rhythm Yard. And he was doing requests on the show and someone rang up and asked for Buffalo Solia. And what did he say? What did he say?

He lost his fucking mind. Did he really? He got very upset. Like no amateurs. He was like, I can't believe you've asked me to play this. Yeah, yeah. Because he's like in there sucking his own dick

and full of dick dives every week. Wow. She said it was a joy to play this. Yeah, yeah. Because he's like in there sucking his own dick, doing deep dives every week. Wow. She said it was a joy to listen to. That's fun. Yeah. Well, now I'm going to do that every week. Yeah, that could be. We're obsessed with like a series of prank calls that happen on AM radio

where a bunch of people would call up the ABC quiz and just answer India for every question. But we could get that going, call Rhythm Yard and request. That keeps getting changes to who that was. So when you hear... Do we all know... Do we know officially who it was? Well, we believe we know that it's a famous weatherman,

Gold Logie-nominated weatherman was associated with it, Sam Mack. Oh, it was. That's what we believe to be true. He doesn't claim it. He doesn't say he invented all of it but he was there he was there okay so that's one now we've got

alright we can work it was a period where he was cagey to even admit any involvement no that's what I mean like gold logy nom he's gone I can get in front of this we'll send it to Lloyd

it's good fun can you put it on the end of the pod it's bloody good fun yeah yeah we've talked about it a lot you should put it on the end of the pod it's bloody good it's fantastic

we put it all over the social it's a pivotal moment in us becoming friends, I think. It's huge. That series of prank calls. What are you into? What's your YouTube? What are you YouTubing?

At the moment, like obscure Japanese city pop kind of stuff. What is city pop? From like the 70s and 80s. Like Japanese kind of funk pop kind of stuff. Yeah. What's it morphed into now? You know how people Hear a song now And people who know

About the history Of that music Go oh that's just A shit version of Insert genre here What city pop Sort of morphed itself into I think it's kind of like

Back in vogue In the way that like The kind of 80s Aesthetic-y Sort of stuff is You know sort of Back on people's Minds now

Like kind of yacht rock Sort of But more sort of It was like yeah Japanese era of them Having a kind of yacht rock. Sort of, but more sort of disc. It was like, yeah, Japanese era of them having a go at like disco and pop and all the like Western stuff. Any of the bands still going around? Like are they still doing digital? I think there are some.

Yeah, yeah. All of this talk of I just want to go to Japan for the weekend. I know. I'm sick of it. Yeah. Carl, call your wife. We got one month until you're out. There's been these conversations where it's like, where can we go in a month?

The clock's ticking. Where can we go? Yeah, yeah. And we tried to – you know what? I found out that this was a rule until very, very recently that you could still book in that standby thing and then quit your job and still have it. So she could have been on standby for this airline next year. Book some flights for 2025.

Wow. That's interesting. Because she also gets two completely free flights on that airline a year. So she booked them in on December 31st for this year. Smart. But now we're not allowed to use them because she doesn't work for them anymore. So now there's got to be something worked out. So now the rule is you have to currently be working there.

Yes. You can't just... I can't believe that that was... They've only just brought that rule in. That seems insane. Yeah. Get the job for one day. Buy up.

Yeah. Buy up flights every week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do a Phineas Fogg and just go around the world. But like book that for two years time and you go up to the travel desk and go, I used to work for this company three years ago, so I believe I'll have my free tickets now. And how actively were you working to stop her from getting this new job?

Look, there were certainly conversations. Yeah. And there was no force or anything. There was no... All the conversations ended up with, well, it's up to you in the end. Yeah. So, you know, it certainly wasn't my call. Very big of you.

Very big. Calling up the new company and just spreading salacious lies about her. Yeah. Just got a tip-off about this person. Could she go back in? She'd go to another airline at some point. about her. She's got a tip-off about this person. Could she go back in? She'd go to another airline at some point. She could. She could.

We've talked about that as well. That could happen. This is just temporary. That could happen. Is it Bruce Springsteen who tells a story about how he heard from a friend how he could get on a flight without a ticket and that's how the first time

he went to the UK was on no ticket. What? Yeah, it's someone very, very famous. Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen,

Elvis Costello, it's someone massively famous and he worked out this way of being in the, it was in the 80s, of his mate

saying being in the lounge at the right time and sort of just timing it and he got to the UK on no ticket. So you just kind of drift, you you just follow someone you just kind of like i can't remember the details but it was about if you got to this lounge you could be there at the right time after they'd already checked it was he's lucky there was no ticket inspectors on that boeing no but i i shall i will look it up they're evaded to europe yes yeah i'll look at a story that could

only have happened pre 9-11 it's very easy to just sneak onto a plane send it to you. A story that could only have happened pre-9-11. It's very easy to just sneak onto a plane. It's an 80s story, but I'll send it to you. I saw a thing on the Antiques Roadshow once along a similar line that absolutely blew my mind. A woman came on with a Rolex watch and she said, my dad was a prisoner of war um during world war ii and he he wrote to rolex and said i want a rolex watch but i'm a pow but he'd been released or he was still he was in the

in the prisoner of war camp what he wrote to rolex Rolex and said... They let... They sent him a... So the Japanese let him... No, this is Europe. He's talking... I think he was... I think he was... He was a British guy

who was in Germany. Yeah, he'd been in Germany. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wrote them the letter and he said, I'm a prisoner of war and I'd like a Rolex watch and this is my name,

this is my address back in the UK, whatever. Right. And they sent him the watch to the camp right and he got the watch somehow they let him have the watch yeah he got it he might have been an officer he got like a paid off a guard or whatever what's the argument i'm finding it really hard to tell the time in this cell yeah yeah i might be late for something and then when he was released he just paid the money

for the watch yeah oh he so he it was completely so it was a lay-by it was a lay-by and it was

completely on trust of him so just being like I'm good for it once I get out of prison I promise you I'll pay you back but that's when Rolex

was like not seen as a fashion item they were like annoying because they I have someone i know who's like mad for watches and he says now you can't buy a rolex now the rolexes have become very very hard to get because they've cut the supply right and if you go to like a watch shop an expensive watch shop and you go great i'll just have the um the blue rolex they'll go yep no worries and

the pierre cardin you go no i just want the rolex and they now because they're so limited supply they go i I know that, but you have to buy this watch in order for us to allow you to buy that watch. Right. What? Because there's so few Rolexes coming in. And they've just globally cut the supply. But this is back in the day when they were seen as just like technical items.

Yeah. And they weren't like that. And you had to go to the factory in Switzerland to go, hi, can I get a watch? I wonder what they do do now if you go. Well, it was like, I mean, the story was probably worth more than the watch. Like the watch was worth, I mean. 20,000? Yeah, it would have been.

That is a good point. They're massive. That is a good point that you make that they just trusted him. Because, I mean, there's not that level of trust usually afforded to someone who has a confirmed criminal record. Like he's in jail. Like, he's in jail. No, he's in prison or a war, though. That's still a prison.

Yeah, but you're not in there for... Your crime is trying to shoot the people who don't want you to shoot them. Right. It's more of a subs bench than a prison. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's more of an ideological misstep. Ideological misstep? What are you in for?

Ideological missteps. I'm silly for them. It does make me think, though, like they clearly just get that letter and they're like, we've never heard anything like this. This is so weird. Let's just give him the watch. You still hear people talk about that now,

where they'll email a company, and if it sticks out enough, they're like, you know what? Have a case of free paddle pops. Was he the first influencer, this guy? Yeah, it certainly sounds like it, yeah. Get a bit of buzz going in the camp. Get the guards gagging over the nice piece on your wrist. They're still getting paid.

They can still afford stuff. Yeah, he gets out, and he goes to Rolex with the money and they're like, honestly, we've had so many soldiers come in here buying watches. Don't worry about it. The guards are like, you know, maybe we'll sell some of these Renoirs and stuff out the back shed and buy some Rolex.

Yeah, give out some comps to your comedy festival show. Get the word of mouth going. Get the buzz building and then you're going to be selling out by the end. Rolex, get it. Have you seen that? There's a good podcast at the moment about the... building, and then you're going to be selling out by the end. Rolex, get it. Have you seen that? There's a good podcast at the moment about the- Yeah, we're doing it.

I'm sorry. At the moment, you mean the last 12 years, right? About the theft of the DeLorean from Thunderball, whatever it was, the first time it was- What? Yeah. So it's one of these weird podcasts where it's really like There's too many production values

And it's like Elizabeth Hurley Presents When you say DeLorean Everyone's mind will have gone Not DeLorean Sorry, I'm wrong DB6 Sorry, from James Bond

DB6 The original one With all the original gadgets and stuff Thank God Because our whole week Was about to become Dealing with messages Sorry, I'm sorry

I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm sorry There was like a Neck beard fucking symbol Go off in the sky there for a second. In order to reaffirm my credentials, I just bought for my son, but it's actually for me, the DeLorean Transformers Gigawatt. They made a transformer of the...

Anyway, so... That's the same with everything in this house, by the way. I've bought it all for my son who doesn't exist yet. One day. I'm stockpiling now. Well, there are a lot of potential sons coming out of your dick in this room, by the way. I've bought it all for my son who doesn't exist yet. One day. I'm stockpiling now. Well, there are a lot of sons, potential sons, coming out of your dick

in this room, I would say. So that's... What is... All right. If we... What is your favourite thing to wank on in here? There's a drum kit.

There's a pot plant. Get the plug in the headphones into the drums and then seeing if the splash onto the kit registers. That's hot. There's also a window which I'm sure gets you going. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty nice.

Bit of a glimpse of the outside world. I was at my – this was high school once at my friend Rebecca's house in Bondi, and her mum was like a hot – she's like a hot mum, do you know what I mean? You couldn't tell she was our friend. Was she already hard offspring? What year are we in in that story or now? Now. But you could, you know what you know i mean like come on and so we were there we're there one the evening and we're in year 12 and and she's smoking on the sort of on the balcony because she's so

that's a that's a tricky one because you're year 12 so you're you're yeah i'll be 17 if i wasn't a you know yeah a loser then i might have been a chance so then she was sort of she was looking up wistfully and smoking And I was like Oh hi How you going She was like Oh man Just waiting

I go What are you waiting for She goes There's a guy In that window Every night Comes out And gives me a little show

Yep We had this apartment building I like how he times His wanks though Isn't that hot Imagine for him Gotta get home Yeah

My fans are waiting Yeah We had And again That's the first webcam. Oh, yes. I was living in my mate's place in London. And one day... Because the rent was cheap and all that.

And one day he was like, oh, this girl's moving in as well. As a favor to her mum. She's also moving into the flat right and she was she was a fucking nightmare but she um there was an old guy that lived kind of opposite and he came around one day and was like oh this is a very difficult thing to bring up with you but um do you have like a new girlfriend or something that's like living in the flat and i was like no but there is there is a new person in the flat and he goes she keeps um getting

undressed in front of the window in her bedroom and it's opposite my kitchen window and um i don't like it and my kids are desperate to do the dishes every night all of a sudden. Can you please tell her to stop? Wow. So I had to then have a very... What did she do? What did you say? What did you actually say?

I was like, I mean, yeah, she was getting on my tits anyway. Were you getting changed from her as well? What did you say? How did you... I was like, well, Velty, say How did you I was like Well Velty The guy next door Who was like Velty

Yeah his name was Velty He was really chill I was like He You need to close the curtains Because he Is repulsed By the sight of you

She was like I hope she said Nah fuck you I'm going to keep doing it What is she doing I reckon she She just carried on Regardless

Yeah good Yeah Take that Velty Yeah because it's like You're in your You're in my bedroom I can do it She said, nah, fuck you, I'm going to keep doing it. What is she doing? I reckon she just carried on regardless. Yeah, good. Yeah, take that, Belty. Yeah, because it's like you're in your bedroom. I can do it. You're in your bedroom. Yeah. But there was, I mean, between the buildings, there was like, you know, it was like 15 or 20 foot, like she would have been, she would have been like on top of him like yeah yeah you

would have been able to see like everything all right oh yeah not enjoying it with the apartment building across the street here during lockdown um there was a couple like three stories up having sex in front of the window. Awesome. My girlfriend was like in the kitchen like come get a load of this and then they they can't they after like a minute they

they clearly like realised that they were just like in front of the window with the blinds open and just like moved back and I was just like it's the fucking middle of lockdown we're out of shit

and the streaming service is just keep it going. If you're enough of an exhibitionist just give us give us fucking Santa to watch. And also in lockdown look beautiful sight of two partners that aren't sick us fucking Santa to watch. And also, we're in lockdown. Look, beautiful sight of two partners that aren't sick to death.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Wow. I don't know most of that. Good on them. So, that means, so instead, this window is closed for me. My wife said to me, you know, sorry, but you're going to have to get used to it. I'm like, I don't know if you've noticed the last two years I haven't flown anywhere.

So I am well and truly used to this. This was a good, yeah, this was a good like. But what's happened to the dream though? The top, the bar? Well, you know, it's still, it's still over. I'm telling you, reality show. You could make and sell, if you're going to make it a comedy club. Yeah.

I reckon, and we can talk because I honestly think there's a show in that. You know what? I've said this. I've said this to people in Perth. There was guys that we know in Perth that run comedy and stuff and this was an idea we were talking about. They should build a comedy club in Bali because what is it, three hours from Perth?

Mate, 100%. You know, Husey comes over, does a run of Perth, then goes to Bali. You put him in a resort, does a couple of 9 o'clock shows. If you're walking down the main street look I've never I'm not this sort of person

but I've never walked down the main street of Bali I'm a little bit better than that so main street of Bali I was going to say

it's long one Bali street down Bali street I'll tell you what it's long it's long I'll tell you what down Bali street

I've never walked past the Maya windows in Bali street or whatever it is it's like Disney World. You walk in the front gate, there's music playing. Look,

in my head, it's forever Maribor. There's one street and that's it. But imagine if you walk down the main street in Barley and then there's all this other stuff going on

and then there's, all of a sudden, Hugh's playing the Barley comedy. I would be like whole far off to travel away from this club? But you've got, mate, that would work and people would love it. Yes.

And it's so close. I opened a bottle of Bintang the other day. They're all dead. But that's why they have the... Doing Bali local gear. But that's why they have the football on. You'll see signs for West... You'll see a Balinese bar saying,

West Tigers versus Penrith Panthers here tonight. And you go, yeah, makes sense. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, there's stuff like that in coastal movies as well. It's like, you know, it makes everything a bit easier to watch as well. You're just – you're getting in there and it's like there's an AFL game at, like, midday. It's like, fuck, yes.

Yeah, I'll take this. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So, that window closed. She does have a new job and let's just say that uh uh you know there's still discounts we had yeah but i would definitely rather be getting 90 off a a trip to to rome than getting 20 off a pair of new balance let's just put it okay right anyway right um she's working at footlocker yeah well yeah no not quite so she have like a black and white stripe she doesn't know Okay, right. Anyway. Right. She's working at Foot Locker. Well, yeah.

No, not quite. Does she have like a black and white striped dress? She doesn't, no. This is the thing. But when I would say that my wife works for an airline, they're like, oh, does she like pick up all the fucking, you know, the beef vindaloo when I finished with it on the flight to Perth? And I'm like, no, she's not a fucking air stewardess.

She's in the office, yeah. She's in the... Girls can have office jobs these days, okay? I'm fully behind it, personally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, anyway, so that's closed off now. So, this is what I did the other day. This is the news.

So, our apartment is being... There's always something fucking going on with our apartment that we're being stung for. They ripped off all the cladding for our building. It took like a year and all this. This is a fucking jip. Anyway, so they're pulling something out of our apartment. It's basically uninhabitable for the next three or four weeks.

And so my parents have a beach house. So I'm like, my wife suggested I go down there. Just you? Yeah. Yeah. Well, she was like, oh, we're going to move in with the in-laws, like with her parents. I'm like, I'd rather not. There's got to be another way around this.

So she suggested I go down to this beach house that my parents own. I'm like, oh, great. For three to four weeks? Well, not for that because we're going to go up to Brisbane and stuff. There's a bunch of little bits and pieces that we're going to do. So that's the plan that she suggested. So she goes, you can go up to Brisbane and stuff. There's a bunch of little bits and pieces that we're going to do. So that's the plan that she suggested. So she goes, you can go down the beach house. That would be great if you just spend like a week or two down the beach.

I'm like, yeah, great. Great suggestion. But if I'm going to be at a beach, it could be any beach really, couldn't it? If I'm going to be at Anglesea, it could be any beach. And I'm not going to be super close to you. It could be any beach. And she's like, fucking hell. Yeah. She knows.

So I bought my first non-standby international flight for years and years. So I'm going to leave. How long do you leave to go to do it? In a couple of weeks, I'm going to do it. A week? Beautiful. And I bought a flight. But this is the good thing because I'm I'm weeing myself off the

The travel The travel fares Yep I bought a return ticket To Phuket Fantastic On Jetstar Beautiful

How much? Up All up? Yeah Return With baggage? Return 1200

Come on mate Play it properly I don't know I don't know 599 Four What's your guess? I'm thinking Seven Come on, mate. Play it properly. I don't know. I don't know. $599. I'm thinking $7. $7.

$230. Wow. You're kidding me. $230. Are you kidding me? I'm not kidding you. What? By the way, you're coming off with very strong Bill Gates vibes by going, Oh, Jet Staff like to poop $1,200.

No, I thought... Yeah, a litre of milk, $12 million, I thought it was more. A litre of milk, $12 million. I thought it was more because there's less. I thought it was the supply and demand of people are working out that they can go there now. Yeah, I put mine. So that they were gouging. I'm still in the flights to Queensland over Christmas.

Yeah. I haven't been to a flight for a while, so I was in the mindset of like, oh, are they expensive at the moment? Sydney to Gold Coast. Exactly. Sydney to Gold Coast, one Bitcoin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all.

I'm still in that world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. One Scooby-Doo NFT to go to Darwin. Now, I want to talk to you about that because- No, we're glossing over a fucking bombshell development. Oh, yeah. I'm excited.

$230. It's huge. Now, the race is on now. The race is on because now, like, you know, obviously no one wants to get COVID and stuff like that.

But now we've been like, you know, racing against COVID because we've got had little shows to do on future pieces. You know,

people don't want to get it so they see their folks to get Christmas. More importantly, I've now not got to get it so I can get on that

fucking flight. So true, man. You've really got something to live for now. Yes, I do. This is so huge. Now, just all I need from tonight is for you to tell me that the dream is not dead for

the bar. Absolutely not. I'm here to say that I will. Absolutely not. I'm here to tell you that I will invest. You'll invest. Great. So how does this go down with, because it's like your argument of if I'm going to be at

a beach, I may as well be at any beach. But you previously were going to be at a beach where if there was an emergency with your child remember her you could you could make it back you could like get in the car yeah how's this going down it's like i'm going to be in another country where i could potentially get stuck that's the other side of it once you're there well you know technically you know petrol prices are quite dear at the moment i mean it, it's about $230 to get from Baldwin to Anglesey. The cost isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the responsibilities.

Okay, right, right. Mate, that's a sweet deal. Congratulations. Yeah, I'm with you. You're focusing on the right thing, I think, Ed. The quality of deal. Yeah, the quality of deal is... When that pops up, I just had to grab it before I even asked.

It's staggering. It's staggering. And is there like a catch, like a layover, like a three day layover somewhere? No, that's why I'm doing it. That's why I'm doing it. You've got to go to Turkmenistan for a month. One month in Baku.

I'm working a refinery. No, because not all the international flights are back yet. So I did. I went through everything. I was like, yeah, everything, everywhere else has got all those layovers. And, you know, you have to go to Hong Kong first before you come back to Tasmania and all this sort of shit. This is direct. This is absolutely direct.

So, because my wife was like, okay, you've got it. You've got six days. That's it. And I'm like, great. So there's no fucking around in someone else's airport or whatever. It's there and back. And that's fucking it. And just in Phuket. Phuket. That got it. You've got six days. That's it. And I'm like, great. So there's no fucking around in someone else's airport or whatever. It's there and back and that's fucking it.

And just in Phuket. Phuket, that's it. Wow, that's big for you. I know. Yeah. I'm not a big fan of Phuket or anything like that but I'll take what I can get.

Yeah. I'm very happy for you. I don't want to buy a bar in Phuket. Look, it's still on for mid-year. I want to go back to Thailand mid-year, and that's when I'll be in person. They're going to ask at some point if there's a local.

They have to remember Cavalier, my last name, is genuinely a Thai last name. And he's so... Right. I meant to ask you that. He's racist. It's Thai. My last name is Tom.

Yeah. You have... I believe it. You are part... Yes, part Thai. Part of my family is Thai. Cavalier is a guarantee. I promise you, Cavalier is a Thai last name.

What's the story? They're going to need a local at some point, and that's where I come in. Yes. Yeah, because that's... They have to. You have to have a local. Man, you have to be the 50%.

I'm happy. Yep. No worries. To own anything in Thailand, you have to have a local. Fuck, I need you. So is that why you're on... Have you been paying attention every week? It's diversity.

Because you count for POC. It's diversity. It's diversity. Sam is not Chinese. attention everywhere because you count for POC. It's diversity. It's diversity. Sam is not Chinese.

What? What is the family history? What's the family history? It's long. We'll do it off air. Oh, really? Yeah, I hashtag qualify. We're good.

Right. Wow. Do you have like dual citizenship? It's too long a story but we're sweet. Anyway, Lloydy, more about you,

you fucking... So that's it. We can start this franchise of Buzz Cavaliers. That's great. Yeah, wow. So what are you into, Lloydy? So when you're in Phuket and the ping pong ball hits you in the face, and that's how you contract COVID-19. No, no.

The night before you're heading back to Australia. I've never been to anything like that. And you've got to isolate for a week before coming back. No, no. How do you think that's going to go down? I'm going to be, you know, I'll be masking up on the beach there, I'm sure. Oh, yes. I'm sure you will be.

Fresh, man. Yeah. I'll be, you know, it's all open air. I'm not going to go inside. Mate, you're fine. I'm more likely to catch it here. I'm actually being more thoughtful towards my family,

my child. I'm more chance of getting it in this room right now with you three than I am on the beach in Puket. You were taken, isolating to the next level. Yeah. Isolating out of Australia. Yeah. This is actual quarantine.

Yeah. What if that's the plan? If I go over there, I'm at the Phuket International Airport. I'm just going around going, has anyone got it? Yeah. And then just rubbing myself up against it and going, right, now I'm going to go and isolate on the beach for a week. Far out.

And just getting it there, getting it over with on the beach. People are doing that. That's what I mean. You read about people doing that. Yeah. You really do. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's my little measles. Oh, no. I'm trapped. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah. That's my little measles. Oh no, I'm trapped. Yeah, yeah. We should, no,

no, actually the real serious plan is to have the six days there, do that shit on the last day then go, wish I could come back. Yeah. Just got it.

No, it's the last day. Definitely the last day. Pretend like you've just thought of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely the last day.

Not the first. No way. Yeah, hey, I'm just getting this all on record. So in a family court of law. Yeah, yeah. No way. Hey, I'm just getting this all on record. So in a family court of law. Family court. Wow, has a podcast been played in family court yet?

That is a great, that would be fantastic. And how do you feel about flying Jetstar? Well, look. How the mighty have fallen. I know. Well, here's the big plan. Business class to the UK. I know. That is mighty have fallen. I know. Well, here's the big plan. Business class to the UK. I know.

That is a good flight. It is an amazing flight. Yeah. There and back. But, yeah, you're right. Hey, it's no renting an iPad on a flight to Phuket to watch Wolverine for $18. Oh, my God. No, you know what?

I'm sure I would have said this on the- Your food and entertainment is going to cost more than the food Man I'm not going to do it If you want us to eat the meal That's going to cost $100 I'm not doing that I don't do any of that shit

Yeah fuck that shit No I don't do that shit Take Nando's on Yeah exactly Because the only other time I took an international flight with Jetstar We went there and then my wife at the last minute Booked all the accessories And I was like

Why the fuck now? We've just paid enough money for it to be like a normal international flight. This is fucked. And we paid for an iPad and the iPad had three movies on it and two of them were Iron Man 2. Iron Man cubed.

Yeah. No, it was like Iron Man 2 and then Iron Man 2 in Mandarin. I'm like, oh, fuck, great. What are people watching? What are you What are we What's everyone watching?

Lloydie? Anna's just My partner Anna's just started watching Rewatching something called The Secret Life of Us Oh yeah Okay It's an on net

Australian drama That is Landmark Australian drama Yeah It's cool With Joel Edgerton Yeah And Samuel Johnson

Filmed in St Kilda In Melbourne Claudia Carvan It was our friends Basically Claudia What does that mean? Claudia Caravan's in there?

Yeah Wow What do you make of it? He's in an episode He's in one episode Playing himself Is he really? Yeah

But it's not the one That was directed Because I was like Oh my god This would be incredible Because there's an Australian who just directed, give me a Marvel film, not Eternals, the other one, Black Widow. Yep.

Directed by an Australian whose name that's escaping me, but she started life as an Australian television director and she directed Secret Life of Us. Oh. Yes, but not the episode Dave's in because that would have been hysterical. Right, because then there could have been Husey in a post-credit sequence in Doctor Strange. He's the new villain in the next instalment.

Yeah, so what do you make of it? I'm very much enjoying it. You are? Yeah. It's a good show. It's a good show. I would say the quality of the acting varies wildly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You'll see a few comics in that. There's a few people that, obviously before your time here, but they used to have a few comics. They vary. I guess maybe at the time, St Kilda was like a really cool... St Kilda was cool back in the day, yeah.

St Kilda was a hub for stand-up comedians where there's like, I think there's Hughsey left down there and that's it. Right. I think everyone's over this side now. Hughie's still there because he owns half of it. Yes. Actually, they're all gone because he kicked them out of his apartment.

They talk about the SP a lot. And there's lots of establishing shots of the SP. And they hang out in the SP. And like there's a pinball machine there. And it looks kind of cool. Whereas now, it's like a hell hole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's sort of like a halfway house.

Do you reckon they're priming us for a – because it's all about the algorithm. Do you reckon they're priming it for a – if it reaches a certain number? Reboot. Oh, the public life of us. Feels, feels. Because I said that to – I worked with Claudia Carvin at one point. And I was like, mate, you're in the algorithm.

You better get ready. Because that's what they're going to do. Yeah, yeah. What does that mean? So there's a great, Eli Roth, the hostel, the horror filmmaker. He told a great story about how pitching, when he went to pitch to Netflix

and he walked in and he had this he had his pitch ready it was all ready he's excited he hasn't really been there before already and he walks in

and the Netflix executives are sitting across from the table and he goes okay guys so what I'm trying to do here is sort of a new take on horror

across the thing and he said he got about a minute I'm paraphrasing he's about a minute in they go sorry what's up

he's like oh this is the pitch they go oh no no no it's all fine so your films we put it through the algorithm um exactly this amount of people watch them and this is exactly how long they watch them for so and they just handed him like a bit of paper this is the exact amount of money we can give you to make three films yes or no we don't really care what they're about anyway yep and they go okay great we'll just let us know when they're done okay we don't really care what they're about. Wow. And he went, yep. And they go, okay, great. Well, just let us know when they're done. Okay.

The end. So they're in there at Netflix. They're seeing Secret Life getting a big run in the lane for Household. 100%. And they're thinking, we've got to reboot this. Who do you think is coming back if they reboot it? Are they all back in? While you're talking about that, can I just say this? I'm not sure if i've mentioned this on

the podcast before but i um i know i went to school and then i know the guys from the avalanches the band the avalanches whoa those guys right so they went to uni and they went to like art school sort of thing with these uh like they'd report you know i was hanging out with them at the time and and they're working on music and doing a bit of film and whatever and there'd be other people in there that were dabbling and doing film and a bit of music and these and anyway they were like oh there's these these guys here that just keep making the same movie in school over and over and it sucks and it's like just like you know because this is like can i guess their names this is this is early 90s and i'm allowed to guess their names before you tell me yeah yeah i'll

give you the point when you're like yes yeah it was just like these dog shit cheap looking dumb ass movies and they're just making the same thing over and over again and everyone's just laughing at them yeah and their names were Lee Winnell and James ding ding ding ding ding ding and that movie they kept making over and over throwing tomato sauce at each other was saw yeah yeah that went on to make so Lee Winnell told me a great story once he Lee Winnell has the best collection of T-shirts you've ever seen in your whole life. And he told me a great story once. A simultaneous way how to be a winner and a loser.

Yeah. That's like a 13-year-old's post. Yeah, yeah. My words, not his, but I was pumped, right? When they were making that original pitch for Saw in 1992, that would have been a cool boast, but now... It was my boast for him him so it was my fault so

he told me what sort of t-shirts has he got there was Star Wars ones FBI Federal Guest Inspector hey the sort of t-shirts

I'm about to buy in Phuket yeah anyway he told me McShit whoa I've got to have

one of those ones I only drink on days ending in Y fuck that's all of them. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, but the floor. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And floors horizontal. I saw one today that was just like not fancy text, just like white text on a black shirt that said, that sounds like a horrible idea, dot, dot, dot. What time should I meet you? That's just very general. I don't mind that. I'm a piece of shit.

But it's like, it's so non-specific. It's like, so what's the horrible idea? Like robbing a bank or cheating on your partner? I like it. What are you talking about? Having a joke on your T-shirt is so weird because who's it for? It's like a three-year-old's dream where you're walking down the street and people are just constantly walking past pointing at your shirt going oh yeah and he was like a pretty guy yeah

this took me a little while to take it all in and he was like a pretty like buff aggro looking dude and he clearly was giving me a bit of a look of like what the fuck are you looking at because i'm just staring at his chest and it's like mate yeah you've got an essay written on your chest i'm trying to put it all together so yeah this this great t-shirt collection of the director he told me that with the with the way that it ended up with saw because him and you know james made the first one and two and they made you know unbelievable amounts of cash yeah huge hits and they're good first ones you don't see it coming it's fucking spot on. Anyways, he goes, by the time they got to Saw 4 or 5,

he goes, man, I'm just... He goes, oh, mate, I was just on set as a consultant. I'd be sitting there looking for T-shirts on my computer and then they'd be halfway through a scene and someone would yell, hey, Lee. I go, yep. He goes, in this bit, do you think that they would use a saw or a hacksaw? And I go, probably a chainsaw.

And they go, brilliant. And I just go back to what I was doing. I've never heard of someone having a T-shirt, like specifically. I think it was like me with soccer shirts. Like I will, you know, I'm just, I'm Jordans. I'm just trying to buy things I couldn't afford as a kid. It's fucking pathetic. And I accept that.

But that's where I'm at. And so. Mate, look at this whole room. Yeah, well, there... Yeah, clearly. But I think his was like T-shirts of Star Wars and that type of thing. Yeah, right, right, right.

Yeah, totally. Okay. And I guess if you came up... So they made... By the way, they made about 17 sores before the Avalanche has made their second album in that time span. That's hilarious.

Yeah, exactly right. Getting done. Yeah. They're in sort of like reboot territory now. The most recent one is like a kind of a soft reset kind of thing. Yeah, Jigsaw is sort of moving it on. But yeah, if you've never seen the original Saw movie. I haven't.

Oh, it's great. It is very good. Save it for the plane. Maybe it'll be on the $29 iPad. Yeah, exactly. Fucking hell. Do you have Netflix on this? No, we have Quick Fl iPad. Yeah, exactly. Fucking hell. Do you have Netflix on this? No, we have QuickFlix.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The movies don't... If you try and pause the movie, it resets the whole app. You can't rewind. There's no subtitles. We've got Saw. It's in Mandarin. Yeah, you've got Saw.

You've got Pitch Perfect 2. You know what the plan is? It's none of that bullshit. It's none of their muffins. It's none of their fucking iPads. Here's the plan. Two heavy-duty sleeping pills each way of that bullshit. It's none of their muffins. It's none of their fucking iPads. Here's the plan. Two heavy-duty sleeping pills each way. Thank you.

That's that. I'm out for both of them. That's a hot story. Yeah. I'm up smiling on Tuesday. What's that? I mean, with nail and eye. It's a great bit.

You seen with nail and eye, Lloydy? Yes. Fucking spot on, isn't it? Well, he wasn't watching the soccer. He had to watch something. Just with nail and eye. When everyone else is down the pub watching soccer, chuck them with nail.

What's on the FA Cup final? Not for me. I'm watching Richard E. Grant again. Those losers in their scarves. Anyway, I'm dressed up like the characters from Good Nail. I'm trying to get to your tastes. I was just thinking, though, when you were talking about doing the long journey

and the entertainment, I was on holiday inina with some friends from university and we were going to um iguazu falls which is on the border of um argentina and brazil incredible waterfalls and you could fly you there to the waterfalls in like two hours or something say it was like 300 bucks or you could get a 17 hour bus okay right here we go and so it's me and like a bunch of mates from university what sort of ipads does i have on this bus well this is the thing right it's like me and a bunch of mates from university and i was saying we fly there yeah like the the the it's more expensive but like the cost difference right time and the time it's going to take everything and one of my group

of friends was just kind of adamant that we weren't going to fly we were going to go on the bus and it was this brilliant thing where the standby of travel really the bus yeah the the seats turned into beds and there was like a food trolley and stuff and he was like there's entertainment as well right on the bus yeah on the bus there's entertainment yeah my beautiful window there you look outside what's the world go by and then plenty of water in the tap son yeah part of me was like oh yeah we get this i get to see the countryside and like yeah it'll be fine anyway and there's also six year of your mates going, just do it, cunt. We're not coming on the plane, so you have to do it.

And I'm like, I want to go on the plane, but I can't go on the plane on my own. You'd never hear the end of it. Exactly. Anyway, all of a sudden you become, it's like, oh, we're all here. Oh, here's the fucking ride brother just here. He's turned up. They're playing jelly.

Oh, Amelia Earhart has graced us with her presence. We get on the bus And there's like One Top cunt himself There's one like Fixed Television At the front of the bus

Yes But the sound Hang on Mr Bean Or Just for Laughs Montreal The prank show Not the stand up The prank show

That is good by the way they show that on internal flights in Thailand of course they do I'm very aware sorry yes I mean I would have big one for fairies as well

good there you go I would have been overjoyed with the complexity of Mr Bean yeah yeah everyone could hear what was on the TV

and we start off the 17 hour bus journey and the film starts and it's Big Mama's house. Oh. Okay. Okay. It's compulsory.

Yeah. The thing is with these movies you need something that's not reliant on dialogue because not everyone can hear it. Is it, and is this,

it's like being piped through the, it's not a headphone situation. It's being piped through the bus. You can't, you sort of can't ignore it. Okay. So I'm like,

okay, this will be like 90 minutes of dog shit. And have you seen it at this point? I haven't seen it at this point. That's something. That's not really, because I'm sure it's probably a film that he really wanted to see in the theatre. Saving it for Gold Class.

Then it finishes, and then the next film is Big Mama's House 2 yeah not bad I don't mind that that makes sense at least which is is the same film yeah yeah sure

but like a worse version yeah and then the third film so I that would be good if it was that would be good if it was one of those

Godfather Godfather 2 where it's like oh no actually number 2 is the better one it is the better one but you also do have to have seen the first one to get it,

so we can't just put on number two. I think I missed, maybe missed the gap between Big Mom's House 1 and Big Mom's House 2. I'd been to use the bathroom or something, or I was eating. So they're just running back to back. Yeah, I'm just thinking, like, oh, this is maybe like the director's cut of Big Mom's House. Oh, this film is going for three hours.

I can't believe you've missed anything being on a fucking bus. There's not that much stuff you can do. Fix this bus. Snowpiercer. But then, but then, then after Big Mama's House 2, I see the DVD menu and then Big Mama's House 3,

like Father Like Son starts. This is one of those discs with like all those Hang on. Is this a concert bus? It's a marathon. Is this

Is this like when like Weezer will do a cruise and they just play every day at night except you're on a bus where they just play Big Mama movies.

Fucking excellent. 17 hours of Big Mama's House 1, 2 and 3 on a loop. On a loop. They get to the end and they go straight back. So there's one disc in the DVD player that's got all of them on it. Is that what's happening?

And so someone's just gone, we're getting one of those multi-packs. I'm not changing the fucking disc midway through. Did it get laughed the first time? I mean, it did get laughed towards the end as well, but I think they were more from sort of mental delirium. Yeah, I don't mind that at all. I love the 17-hour bus. A Guantanamo Bee torture technique.

17-hour bus? I mean, I slept for some of it. Right. So that's roughly those three films. That's like four and a half hours. So what you're watching, you're watching it four times. You're watching them all four times. That's what they did in Waco, isn't it?

You sort of watch them all four times, but what you're really watching is one movie 12 times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now the big question, which is your favourite of the trilogy? I think the first one is the best. Do you know which one the first one is at this point most people think that

it's like you did a the one where the guy's fat yeah when Martin Lawrence dresses up as the fat woman that's the best one it's like you're doing like an intensive

you know how some universities they're like we'll give you a law degree in a year you're doing a 17 hour intensive of that podcast that Guy Montgomery did

About Packing it into one bus Yeah into one bus That is their version of that Like Weezer cruise Yeah Guy Montgomery's pod You're on a boat

And we just watch the same movie Yeah With you again and again and again So is that You would have to say That that's probably the movie That probably sticks in your head the most Given what you went through

What movie have you seen the most lady? What's the thing you've re-watch head the most, given what you went through. What movie have you seen the most, Lloydy? What's the thing you've re-watched the most? I studied film at university, and I had to write an essay about... So that's why you were too good for Big Mama's House 2. Yeah. Depends how good the uni was. Have you got any Cassavetes films out there?

He's the one on the bus going actually I prefer Fellini over this what would you watch the most I had to re-watch Taxi Driver a lot and then

in re-watching Taxi Driver a lot I found out that having watched Taxi Driver seven or eight times then John Hinckley

thought it would be a good idea to try and kill Ronald Reagan to impress to impress Geordie Foster so I was like

maybe I should stop watching this now have you noticed in Taxi Driver you would have noticed this I re-watched it again recently I'd never noticed his breakfast

you know that the morning when he's about to go and and and start taxi driver is one of about six movies i own on dvd of all time yeah and he's he's got a very strange breakfast he's got cereal but he's having oh damn it sorry i'm boring everyone tears now anyway funny tony martin was here anyway oh no we'll cut this bit out we'll follow up with him yeah next time he's on. So, yeah, Taxi Driver's the film you've seen the most?

I reckon. There are certain films that come on TV and when they come on TV, I'm like, I have to watch them. That does not come on TV, by the way. Anything that's inspired the shooting of a president, they generally don't give it the 6.30 on Channel 10 on Saturday nights, do they? It's like Devil Wears Prada

we're backing it up with Taxi Driver. They're like, nah, nah, this is the week. Nah, sorry, Uncle Buck's it. I was going to say in that regard I reckon probably Die Hard

or... God, yeah, man. Die Hard. I challenge people for Die Hard to be on and for you to not... Like you have to start... You just go,

fuck, now I've got to watch this to the end. It's impossible. It's perfect. It's a perfect movie. Well, we've got a lot of good suggestions there for you to load up on your laptop on that flight. You could do a marathon of every film that's been mentioned on this pod. Look, you know what I'll be doing?

I'll be watching all them on the bus, Lloyd style, over and over from Phuket International Airport to wherever I fucking stay. Because I'll be zonked out on the plane. On the Skybus to Melbourne Airport. Yes. Jacking into that TV screen. Yes. Just asking for the aux. Yeah, on the way to Phuket.

Can I just have taxi driver on? Hang on, apparently my ticket's not valid now to get on this plane, apparently. The federal police have said. Got to try and find a bootleg copy of Big Mama's House 1 through 3. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Fuck, I wish. That is the thing I do miss about Thailand, the DVDs. DVDs, they're done.

That's over. What a dissonant landfill. Anyway. All right, we'd better wrap it up for another week on the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Ed Cavalli, Lloyd Langford, thank you very much for joining us. Good shit. Thank you. Thank you.

Ed, you've got radio. Yeah, every morning. If you're in Sydney every Ed, you've got radio. Yeah, every morning. If you're in Sydney every morning, me, Husey, Ed and Aaron. I'm Ed. Husey, Ed and Aaron. And then, yeah, just, you know. If you've got Stan Sport,

me and Max Rushton, who is from the UK but actually likes soccer, he and I do a show every Friday called Two Up Top. But apart from that, you know, what else? What about all your podcasts? You got any other podcasts?

Yeah, I got a rugby league, one about rugby league in the 1990s with my man Brendan Anakin called Rad Footy. So we just finished our first set of six because in rugby league you go in sets of six and we just started recording the second lot. There we go. Nice. And Lloyd, you've got a bunch of shows coming up around the country.

Yes, I'm doing some work in progress shows. Don't promote them. Promote the real thing. Lower your expectations. I'm doing some gigs in Brisbane and Adelaide. You're there the day before we're in Brisbane. So all the Brisbaneites that are listening to this, if you're bored the night before,

go and see Lloyd. Go and see him fuck around and work out stuff that's not that good for quite a high price. I'll be there because I'm headlining the club

after you do your show. Is that the Brisbane where you're at? I'll give you some notes. Oh, okay, yeah. Well, I think I'm doing a gig there before my show one night.

Oh, cool. Yeah, great. I'll see you there for sure. Yeah, great. Check all that out. And your Melbourne Comedy Festival. Melbourne Comedy Festival, yeah. I'm doing a show called...

What's it called? DILF. Yeah, that's funny. Sweet, bro. Nice. That's hot, man. I'm into that. Okay, good.

All right, guys. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. And they've done it again oh bernie you kicked a big one right up my butthole um wonder if lloyd knows who bernie is probably not he doesn't need to we didn't talk about it with him um he can he can uh yeah he didn't he didn't play professional soccer so maybe he does. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like you said at the top, we've got shows coming up, of course. If you're listening, it's hot off the press.

Brisbane, we're there next week, 29th of January, and then we're in Adelaide on the 26th. We're there this weekend. If you listen to it hot off the presses, if you've got your rescheduled tickets, get in. Yeah, and of course there's a live talking dum-dum. Check the socials. There might be a couple of spare tickets floating around or something. Check that. So then we're in Adelaide, 26th of February. Get your tickets, Adelaide.

For fuck's sake, let's not talk about it anymore. Then Perth, 5th of March. Still a couple of tickets left there. And then we are, of course, the 500th, the recently rescheduled 500th, and now added 600th episode at the Athenaeum on the 2nd of April. And then, I guess a lot of people,

this has been swept under the carpet a little bit, but you know, our annual April gigs that we do in Melbourne, the other ones we do on Saturday afternoons in the month of April, tickets available for them as well. Always a massive, great guest because, I don't know, I think they're all visiting.

A lot of comedians are in town in that month visiting family or something like that. Maybe it's an Easter thing. I'm not sure. Well, I'm on those shows because I'm doing a show in the Comedy Festival that's on at the same time. Right.

In which? In Melbourne. Right. So my show is on sale now from March 30 Right. In which? In Melbourne. Right. So my show is on sale now from March 30th until April 10th in Melbourne. Right, so that's why I've booked you for our podcast. Yeah, yeah, that's why I'm available. Because you're in town.

Because I'm going to be here doing that. For that. Yeah, yeah. Right, right. Actually, that's why I booked myself because I'm in town watching your show every night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a real Daslow head.

Yeah. Yeah, so I thought I might as well do some other gigs while I'm here. You're updating the stats on TommyDaslow.com of the decibel level and the laughs after every gag. No, on the set list, on setlist.com. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Setlist.fm.

Yeah, yeah. Fuck, I might upload myself on there. See if I can start a profile. I wonder if they vet it. I wonder what's the most obscure band that's on there. Yeah, find out. Yeah, that'd be good if you're just putting that up for your five-minute gigs that you're doing

around the place at the moment. Yeah, just trying new brackets, bombed. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Just seeing all the bits that only show up once on the set list and never again or like... That would be good if you're like...

You know, it's like a band plays a new song but they've just gone, here's a new one. Yeah. And they haven't said the title of it, so often they'll be on set lists. It's like, oh, we kind of don't know what this is, a new song. It's like, yeah, he can just kind of riff this

and it seemed like something that he's going to turn into a bit, but it's hard to know what he'll end up putting it on the set list as. Will it be Cheese or will it be Girlfriend? Who knows? Yeah. Brackets. Yeah. Or maybe brackets, comedy yeah yeah yeah that

turns up again yeah um yeah well let's let's uh upload it to that let's let's find out if that works um yeah so they're all great live shows coming up so please uh if you can get into them get into them yeah i guess and uh yeah like i was saying my solo show is also happening in adelaide uh straight after the podcast 4 45 in the same venue at the rhino room and then perth it's the night before at the brisbane hotel much the fourth uh 6 30 p.m those are all on little dumdum club dot com but yeah great to be back out there in the world performing and appreciating the art of stand-up comedy. What an art it is. Cannot wait to just get on a plane and fuck off and do something.

So, genuinely very excited. Hopefully, all those shows and hangouts before or after, or however the fuck they work, have all got a bit of a party vibe as usual because God knows it would be good to get excited about something and be happy and have a few beers with people and all that sort of stuff. Would love that all to happen. So, yeah, make sure you, if you are turning up, make sure you get into it and don't make us bomb. Yeah, yeah. We need this.

We've literally had, you know, when you think about it, Tommy, this is, is this the last two proper live podcasts we've had? This is our run at the moment. Heathcote, which apparently people hated. Yep. Sydney, which people hated slash we hated. Yeah, I think you might be right. We used to be the premier live podcast proponents. We were the kings.

And all of a sudden, our track record is like we've gone through a season unbeaten and all of a sudden we've got a couple of x's next to our name things change we need we need a couple of wins here we need a couple of wins so it's on brisbane to set the record to set the record straight yeah so we really yeah yeah the pressure's on the pressure's on us and the audience uh in brisbane this is the audience let's let's turn this thing around yeah let's turn it our form around let's turn our luck around yeah so uh very much looking forward to that let's uh that'll be a big day um lots of stuff on that's a long day yeah because we're doing stand-up as well aren't we yeah a bit of stand-up all these things that we fucking booked in months ago it's like what do we actually do it on the show again what's this just a potter is this one of these fucking eight hour odysseys

where we're just living at the venue for what feels like months? Yes. I had to think of that the other day because we were doing stand-up and I was like,

fuck, I better go and do a couple of spots and just get up there and go, ooh. So I just did ooh in front of a different audience.

So that'll be great. Don't forget to put ooh on setlist.fm under the Carl Chandler header for the Brisbane show. Please. What else, Tommy? What else we got going on? Oh, we'll be bringing merch. Oh, look, a bunch of people have hit me up about,

we talked a fair bit about Funny Buggers last week and yeah, I should just put it on sale online somewhere. So I need to do that. But I'll bring a bunch of them along to the show um if you want a 10 year old book but except for uh look it's still you know there's there's heaps of stuff in there that's still timely it's not all you know written about um what would you be my space yeah actually not quite 10 years ago uh what are you what are you joking about ten years ago? Early iPhones.

Dubstep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, iPods. Yeah. It's not all that. There's timeless stuff in there. And, you know, I can sign or get whoever to sign it.

I'll bring a bunch of them along. I'll put them online as well at some stage. But we'll be bringing along plenty of merch. got a reprint of the burger yep the long uh a lot of sizes have been out of date so um if you've gone there looking for a you know a medium or a large or a xl they've probably been out of date out of stock for a while so um they're all back baby so order online or get one at the gigs. Yeah. Yeah. Little dumb, dumb club.com.

That's where you can find all that stuff. It's where you can find the tickets. It's where you can also find a link to the Patreon where you can support the podcast. And we very much appreciate everyone who does that. You can also get yourself two bonus episodes every week, a little 15 minute bite sized episodes of the show on Mondays and Fridays. Always a lot of fun on there. Great guests coming in as well.

And most importantly, you go into the draw to get your name immortalised in the back end of an episode of The Little Dumb Dumb Club. What would you liken it to, Tommy? Having your name read out on this show. It's like buying a star and naming it after someone, really.

It's like Cartoon Connection when they do the happy birthdays to people. Oh, yeah. That sort of stuff. Yeah. Oh, okay. I was thinking a bit better than that. I was thinking something like... When you were the right age, there was nothing better than that.

Yeah. Yeah. I did. There was a bit of a class sort of, not warfare, but a bit of a difference being from the country and just looking at that sort of stuff and going, we're just little country bumpkins. We'll never be read out on a big Channel 10 Melbourne TV show or something like that.

Oh, you think they're seeing where the envelope is from and being like, fuck these punks. Yeah, fuck these hayseeds. Yeah. We only wish happy birthday to children who live around the corner from where we're filming Cartoon Connection. Within five or ten of having a postcode like 3,000. Yeah.

Once you start doing a bit of 3-3 or 3-4. What the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck this off. Yeah. What is the Maryborough postcode? 3-4-6-5. 3-4.

Yeah. What is the Maryborough postcode? 3465. 34. And our old phone number used to be 54614565. Okay. The area code 54, of course, 054. Yep.

And then 61 and then the four alternating numbers after that. Okay. Basically, you had about 10,000 numbers to play with in Maryborough. I can't remember what city it was, but I was putting in an address for something the other day, and it's a venue that's in the middle of the city. So, it's like the suburb is, let's say, Adelaide. Yeah. And it's 5002 or whatever. Yeah.

I was like, how is this not? Yeah. Isn't the CBD suburb meant to be just the flat zero, just the flat thousand? It's like, well, what's the thousand here then? How's the actual city centre copping the tooth? I think Melbourne's had a little bit of something, you know, an irregular thing like that as well in that sometimes I'll see a postcode for something where you go, oh, what the?

It's like 3917. You go, oh, this must be fucking Mildura. And then it's like, oh, no, it's like East Richmond one seven you go oh this must be fucking mildura and then it's like oh no it's like east richmond or something oh yeah okay yeah fucking did you run out of close numbers and you had to like kick off back towards the end of the three thousands well i'm sure there is of course there is a rational explanation for this but with it to a layman looking at how the tram numbers are done makes absolutely no sense at all. It's like, what is the... Like we had...

Like when I was at school, there were four different lines that were like main roads that were parallel to each other. You had the 5, the 6, the 72 and the 8. Oh, really? Why is it a 72? Like what's... And I know there's a reason. It's like the vitamins.

My once a month, my once a week thing. Don't message. I don't care what the actual reason was. I'm saying as a child, I have heard it in the past and just forgotten it. But it's like when you're a kid, you'd stand there and go, what the fuck's going on here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just call them one, two, three. Yeah.

Don't be fucking around with like 87 in the mix. Yeah. Thanks to everyone that subscribes on Patreon. We, of course, are about to read out a bunch of names now. Of you guys, like Tommy said, let's get the first cab off the rank, out of the unplanned title alternator. Good luck, everyone. Hope we get some good names this week.

Yeah, me too. It's been a big day. I'm tempted to put the good names on the ping pong ball within the UTA and then freeze them so I can put my hand inside the machine and pull out the cold ones. Yep, yep. But, of course, we've got the regulators here watching us in the corner, so I can't be pulling those swifties.

I hope we get some good ones because we've just done we've just done a fair bit of content already so it's like it's a hot day it's a long day and we've got a little bit to go we've got a fair bit to go

yeah this is a big podden day this is this is a day this is the sort of day where you know you guys are sending in your money we

appreciate it very much today's the day we earn it yeah yeah big bunch of bullshit all right let's

re-energize let's get stuck into this thank you very much to patreon subscriber Todd Gladden earn it. Yeah. Yeah. Big bunch of bullshit. All right. Let's re-energize. Let's get stuck into this. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Todd Gladden. Okay.

Yeah. What do you think of Todd? Well, I'll put it this way. I don't mind it in this way. There is double

D's in both names. Okay. That's very positive. Very positive. That's not bad at all.

Yeah. Gladden. Very positive. That's not bad at all. Gladden. Gladden. A Gladden. What do you think of the name Todd? Not heaps, but yeah. I wrote a thing that I made with Tom Ballard, a little pilot, and our characters were both meant to be real fuckheads and so i gave my character the

name of todd because i thought this guy's just meant to be a real drip yeah and when i was writing the script that was just didn't even really give it much thought it just you know just plucked it out of the ether and went that's what this guy should be called so dipshits you think todd sounds like a dipshit so what was tom Ballard's character's name? That's a good question. What was his character's name? I can't remember. Dwayne? Something along those lines.

Is it online somewhere? It's not actually. Would have been on IMDB and stuff like that. Good question. Has it ever come into Tony Martin's field of vision? Let me... Hang on. I will be able to find this.

I'll do a... I'm looking up your IMDb page right now. I'll do a search through my email and see if there's anything about it in there. The first picture that comes up on your IMDb page is a very old picture of Ed Cavalli, guest on today's show because you're on a show he hosted called TVBurp. But very good to see a 12-year-old picture of, 13-year-old picture of Ed Cavalli with the long locks. Cavalli with long locks. Well, pretty long.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Long by his standards. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and also he doesn't look too different from how he looked back then. Apart from here. Would you then. Apart from the hair. Would you agree? Apart from the hair.

Here we go. I found it. Tommy Daslow as Todd. Tom Ballard as Dane. Dane. I think it was Dwayne at one point and then we went, Dane is, it's like you've dumb-cunted up a dumb-cunt name. Yeah.

And then Ronnie Chang as Ronnie. Yep. We wrote the role for him. Would you believe that? Yeah. And what I do like is that you've spelt Ronnie, at least here, in a different way. Yeah. In the way that he hates.

Yeah. R-O-N-N-I-E. That's funny because I don't know if we ever... If you actually did that or they just typed that in on... Yeah, yeah. Or if someone who did the credits was like, put that in. Yeah. Todd and Dane, two disgusting housemates,

decide to list their spare room on an accommodation classifieds website which results in difficulty and despair. Who's written that? I don't know. That's the storyline. That was an ad blurb. That's weird. That doesn't really come off like a great comedy that you want to –

it results in difficulty and despair. Yeah, so it was around the time that Airbnb was becoming big. So, yeah, the idea for the show was that it would be every episode, different person moves into the spare room. They're putting their spare room up on Airbnb. Every episode, different person moves in. So in the pilot that we made,

Ronnie moves in and he turns the room into a laundromat and starts churning out a huge profit in the house. So in the story that you wrote,

an Asian man just turned something into a laundry. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It was a different laundry. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's a different time. Fuck.

I just... There's a trivia question below at the end and I'm trying to find the answer and it doesn't give the... You're going to... Do you know... You should be a big fan of this show. You should know what happens here.

I can't find out the answer. Is this a trivia about... A trivia about here. I can't find out the answer. Is this a trivia about my pilot? This pilot thing. Okay. Right. Answer this. It says at the bottom of the page.

At the bottom of your page. Okay. No, the bottom of the fully furnished page. About this show. Okay. About this show. Yeah. Right.

Question. Yeah. By what name was Fully Furnished 2015 officially released in Canada in English? What? That's the question. Fully Furnished, I believe. Well, we'll never know. There's no answer.

There's no answer. Also, I like it how it's like, you know, what were they? They don't have furnishings. They don't have fully doing things. Everything's half done in Canada. They wouldn't have furnishings. They don't have fully doing things. Everything's half done in Canada. They wouldn't understand this. Yeah, there must just be another show or something with that same name that it's like someone's gotten on the page for our pilot

and thought this is that show. Right. Maybe it's like an interior design reality show or something like that. Well, it asks that. Then it's got a little clickable answer button and then you click on it and then it says, Contributors own IMDB answers

and then you go, okay, well, there's the question again and it says answer. Okay, I'll click on that. Cool, all right. And now it's just, if you want to know the answer to that question, you have to sign in and get an IMDB account.

That's how they get you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. and get an imdb account that's how they get you yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like you know get an imdb account the streaming services give you the 30 days free or whatever but this is what imdb does they they tease you with uh finding out about the canadian name of your five minute pilot episode you know what i've noticed a lot on the streaming services a lot of them will have like when you go onto the you know, the page for like a movie or whatever,

they'll have like the little rating there. By the way, people at home, can someone sign up to IMDb and find out the answer to that trivia question? Yeah.

Yeah, there'll be like, I think Binge does it where they'll have like, you know, you go onto a show and it's got like the rating that it has on IMDb.

Yeah. And it's kind of such a weird thing to put there and it's like, why have they decided that IMDb is the be all and end all a weird thing to put there. And it's like, why have they decided that IMDB is the be-all and end-all of rankings of things? It's like, what a bunch of fucking nerds who are putting in goofs from Gladiator going

like, yeah, I think it's an 8.4. This is worth watching. Yeah. Eastern Promises, give it a go. I reckon it's pretty good. Dane. Dane. No, this isn't it.

It's Todd. It's the other one. Dane and Todd. The other of the dipshits. I should, I've been meaning to, because, yeah, you can't watch it online anywhere. And I've been meaning to check in with Tom about whether he thinks we should just chuck it up. Just whack it up. Because there's no, it's out of, like, licensing stuff now.

So we can do it. Oh, great. Yeah, put it up there. Yeah. And if anything, if nothing but this it will annoy ronnie chang yeah he's probably he's one of the few people who got paid to do it all right yeah so we it was a thing that we made for like sbs did like a um a thing where they did like a uh they like grants they gave a bunch of money to, like it was meant to be like 10 different,

it was kind of what the ABC have done with their Fresh Blood thing, if people are familiar with that. So 10 little five-minute things got made and the idea was that the ones that went the best, and they never gave any kind of metric for what the best was meant to be, but their thing was, yeah, the ones that do the best out of this little pilot thing will then make into series. And then they ended pilot thing will then make into series. And then they ended up making none of them into series.

And I think, in fact, ours got put up, the next month's one got put up, and then I think all the rest of them just never went up. Wow. So ours was, not only was ours, because we were both pushing it online a fair bit, so not only would ours have been getting a lot of views, it was like, yeah, none of them, the rest of them even went up. And then we were kind of like on SBS, like, hey, we've written some more scripts.

We'd love to do more. And they were like, yeah, we've run out of money for this project. So we're not going to be doing anything more with this big initiative that we pushed pretty hard. Didn't even have the money for the bandwidth for the other episodes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. They really, they made a bit of a meal of it in my humble opinion,

but I think it turned out good. All the money went to Ronny Chieng. Is that what you're saying? Well, yeah. They really, they made a bit of a meal of it in my humble opinion, but I think it turned out good. All the money went to Ronny Chieng. Is that what you're saying? Well, yeah. I mean, the budget was still, it was enough to make something, but it was still like a lot of people, I think our producer worked on it for free. A lot of people did it on the crew for basically mates' rights.

Me and Tom didn't take any money. But Ronny demanded all the budget. Yeah, sure. Let's say that. He said, I'll do it for free but if you're going to make me act as a racial stereotype, I'm going to need to be paid. There's a tax.

There's a tax. It looks cool though. The whole rule with the show was going to be the room is not beholden to the rules of time and space and whatever so it's like he's been there a day and then the laundromat that him turning it into a laundromat we actually went and filmed it in an actual laundromat so it's like we go in and it's like it looks cool it's like we open the door in the shitty share house and then all of a sudden it's like yeah

we're in a fully functioning laundromat it looked cool sounds bloody like bugs bunny or some oh mate yeah the uh the episode where me and tom were arguing over whether it was duck season or rabbit season. That was going to be a great one. And then he shot you in the face with a rifle. Yes. Great stuff. But yeah, I should get it on there because it would annoy Ronnie and also you get to see Tom Ballard's little bot bot. Oh, well, back when it was little.

No, not really. All right. Well, thanks thanks Todd Gladden I'm glad and you brought you you got brought up so we could find out about that little story that little that little gem oh and by the way for the historians of this show weirdly enough we made this show together and then it wasn't until a year or two later that Tom and I became housemates. So it was life imitating art. And when did Ronnie move in? Yes. I don't know. Good answer.

I don't know. Yesterday. Yesterday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great, great, great. Boy, I'm really showing the fatigue of a good few hours of podcasting at this point. I'm happy to be asking the questions rather than giving the answers at this point. Yeah, exactly.

Thanks, Todd. Like the quiz master on a game show being like, God, I'm having a good time up here. You guys look like you're stressing, trying to work out what the fucking answer is. I mean, I've got it easy. Yeah, yeah. Or the opposite. Someone who's so tired he's even struggling with the question.

It's like, I don't know. It's like, how do you not know? It's right there. Yeah. Thanks, Todd Gladden. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Michael Sussman. Yeah. I see this guy pop up a lot on socials.

A Sussman. A Sussman. Wow. He's a... He should do stand-up. He's... Well, yeah. Well, that's the name I should go under when I'm repeatedly going to Thailand.

That's what it seems like. If you saw my passport and then you went, what's the name of this guy without seeing the front page? Sussman. Is it Michael Sussman? Yeah. Well, back in the day, so people's ancestors, the names come from what their ancestors did. Oh, back in the day. Yeah. So, you know, people's ancestors. Yes.

The names come from what their ancestors did. Oh, okay. You learn something new on the show every week. Potentially his forefathers were the first sex pests. Oh, they were the first ones to get on a raft and just go and discover Thailand, even though it's already been discovered. They're just like – Well, you know, maybe not to that extent, but definitely like a bit of sus behavior.

Right. A bit of like peeking through the window. Right. A bit of like – even when there's like the women of the tribe are walking around without any tops on. Yeah. They're still going, what else you got? Yeah.

What else can we see? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're just, it's like you can see everything. What are you peeking through? They've got nothing on. They're finding a way. They're just,

instead of like, instead of just looking at the naked woman in front of you like everyone else is doing, they're hiding behind bushes and like going, you can see their boobs from here.

It's like, yeah, you can see them from anywhere. We haven't invented clothes. Yeah, it's like anything that you can't see is the thing that becomes titillating. So if you're a full, if you're like in a nudist colony, is the most like titillating part of the body the bottoms of the feet? Right.

Because it's like you're walking around, everything's out. You know, I know there's certain parts of the world where it's like, there's like, you know, the knees are all of a sudden a thing because that's the part that's covered up by like, you know, I know there's certain parts of the world where it's like, there's like, you know, the knees are all of a sudden, I think, because like, that's the part that's covered up by like, you know, what they're wearing or whatever,

but they've got like, they go topless. But if you're fully, everything's out, it's like, well, what's the one part of the body you're not seeing? Well,

their feet are planted on the ground. Therefore, maybe that's where foot fetish is like originally. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, well, that's, that's you, Michael Sussman. That's's where you come from you're a suss man yeah um i mean i mean for for people not in australia of course suss is short for suspect oh yes that's a an australian slang you're a bit suss suspect as in we suspect that you might maybe up to no good. Yeah. You may be a near do well. You're being sus. Yeah, by jerking your dick in a cupboard. Yes, that's sus behavior. That's suspect.

That's really sus. By you pulling your dick out in public and jerking it in front of people, I'm beginning to suspect that that's not good. Yeah. You're my prime suspect for the person who's currently beating off in front of me. Michael Sussman. He's heard it all, though. This is one of those ones where it's like, there's nothing we can add.

No, but it's not like his name's Gary Dick, where you have heard it all. But being Sussman, I feel like whatever we've said now, he may not have heard before. Yeah. There's nothing like... He's heard plenty of it, though. He's heard plenty dancing around it. Yeah. There's plenty of beating around the bush.

Apart from him just beating off in a bush. Yeah. There's beating around it as well. There's people beating off into the bush that he's in. Yeah. He's getting covered in other people's cum as he's cumming. Yeah. Probably likes that, though.

It's a cum to Durkin. The sus man. Yeah. Yeah likes that though. To come to Durkin. The sus man. Yeah. Yeah. That is a bit sus. Well, we're talking about the ejaculating bush, one of the original funny fellas characters that we ever created. But yeah, well, that's, that'd have to be a sketch down the track at some stage with

the ejaculating bushes ejaculated onto. Yeah. That's definitely a good payoff. That's like a good payoff. That's like a second season where we really need to mix it up. That's the end of season. How much more can he ejaculate out of a bush? And then it's like, of course.

Of course. You ejaculate into the bush. Mike Sussman. I wonder at what age people discover that and go, you know, when it clicks in someone's head and goes, oh, right. Like, does someone get to him first or does he figure it out first and start, you know, building the bomb shelter, the psychological bomb shelter? That's it.

You really would hope that, well, we've talked about this before. You'd hope that the parent at a certain age goes, look, they'd get in early. They'd be like, look, I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this. Life's about to get very hard. Probably not this year. Probably next year at school. Maybe it's a summer holidays discussion. It's like heading into grade three.

Just get ready. This year's going to be really tough. But yeah, unfortunately, your great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great-grandfather hid behind a tree and jerked off over a pterodactyl. Yeah. And that's what we've been living with for generations. This is the year that my classmates picked up on the absurdity of our family name. I'm sorry, but this year is going to be really, really hard for you. But I've got one thing that's going to make it better.

Here's a gun. All right. I've bought you a thing that's going to make it better. Here's a gun. All right. I've bought you a gun. And? Bring this to school every day. Oh. I thought this was going to be a group suicide. Right.

Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. We'll go. It's like, no, it gives the son the choice. This lineage ends now. Yeah. This can't go on.

What do you want? You want to take this with you? Or do you want us to all just end it right now? Do you want to work from home today? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Well, thanks, Michael. Thanks, Michael Sussman.

I don't think you're that suss at all. I think you're okay. As soon as you stop the Patreon subscription, you're a dirty little cunt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Lang Sharp. Okay. Lloyd Lang Sharp.

That's potentially great. Opens with a yawn. Yep. Lang Sharp. Well, it's the brain looking for oxygen. It's trying to fire up into doing some stuff with Lang Sharp. Well, you know the most famous person called Lang in Australia? First name.

I don't think I've ever... Most famous meaning I've heard of two people ever with the first name Lang. And this is one of them. Okay. I've only ever heard of one other person. Okay, well, who's the other one? Lang Hancock.

I don't know who that is. You don't know who that is? Lang Hancock was a mining magnate. Okay. And he was very well known for being a very old fella from, was he from Perth? Well known for being old. Yeah. He was famous for it.

What a great post. All of his life. Yeah. He was the youngest old fella ever. That's how he first got famous. But he, I think he had like a, you know, he had a wife for a long time, then got old. And then, speaking of Thailand, and that sort of behavior, but then he, well, not Thailand. He's got a live-in maid, I believe, and she was from the Philippines.

Okay. And maybe his wife died or they got divorced or something. But then the live-in maid got the job as the wife straight in. He, what would you call it? He swore to negative. He all of a sudden started rooting the maid. Maid comes in and he shacks up with the maid. Yep.

Right. But then the maid absolutely kicks off. Right. As the... And this is what he's famous for? Yes. Okay. Because he's like a uh like a super old fuck and he's like you know some some guy that's like rich off iron ore who gives a

fuck yeah yeah you know you know about gina reinhardt because of stuff she's done right because if she'd never said a word no one would give a fuck there's yeah there's like hundreds of just like wealthy people yes you couldn't you'd never heard if they're not on tv if they're not saying anything, you wouldn't know. Yeah. So this guy's definitely well known for his last marriage

because he was super old. You know, you would say that she was a bit of a gold digger for sure. She's come from being a maid. She's, I wonder how old she was.

Sounds like a bit of an Elston situation. Oh, more than that. But in the sense that, same thing, wealthy dude, how would we ever know about him if it weren't for him, you know, shacking up with a younger woman?

Yeah, no, totally. Like in the tabloids for that kind of stuff. Yeah. Well, let me, I'm looking it up now. I wonder what her birth date was. Oh, no. Right, so she was 40 years younger than him. So he was a super old old old bloke um she got in she

went from the maids to being the wife and then really really really living it up like being one of those people that are known for just like i'll buy fucking 70 pairs of shoes today this morning and then i'll go properly shopping in the afternoon okay right right right so um that's that's uh that's the that's the langs as far as i i i know so i don't know whether this guy's the same deal whether he's got a um a living man's in the name yeah maybe it's um hereditary in the surname um he's uh getting a filipino bride over here that's um with a feather duster and going uh enough about those shells how about you stick that thing up my ass yeah bride over here that's with a feather duster and going, enough about those shells, how about you stick that thing up my ass?

Yeah, right. That's a big leap. We're not just kissing or anything first. We're going straight to you digitally. I got quite a dusty asshole. I got distracted because I got a message from Ed asking if I can listen back to the episode because he's conscious of anything in there

sounding like we're making too much fun of Husey. Ah, yes. It's like, mate, you need to listen to some of our other reps. No, I think we're all good. Yeah, we're fine. We're just talking about a guy who we talk about nearly every week, whether he's on the show or not.

Yes. They're making fun of me on the little dum-dum club. He loves it um sleep well ed it's fine i hope you i hope you're listening back um yeah it'll have a listen back no worries i'll sit here and listen through to my own podcast yeah i mean you guys out there get it i don't want to hurt the millionaire's feelings. Well, Lang, yeah, I hope we don't insult them. Anyway, Lang, did you get a feather duster up your ass? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

From a Filipino lady? Mm-hmm. I bet you did. Yeah, well, I don't know. Yeah, Lang might be, we might be the Rose Porteous. That was his wife. We might be the Rose Porteous in this situation. As in, he's, this guy's, this guy's an elderly man or something, or even if he's not, he's wasting his money.

You just assume this guy's old? Yeah. Okay. Because that's all Lange's. There was only one other Lange. So I'm assuming this guy's basically the same. Okay. Yeah.

So I'm assuming if he doesn't have the Filipino wife, what he's got is us. We're the ones that should be in the paper. Okay. Yeah. So I'm assuming he, if he doesn't have the Filipino wife, what he's got is us. Yeah. We're the ones that, you know, should be in the paper from like, we're siphoning the money out of your bank account.

Right, right, right, right. We're the gold diggers. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We're Langshark gold diggers. We're trying to fuck him just so he'll subscribe

to our Patreon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're the ones, you know, she was, you know, spending all the money on shoes and stuff like that. That's what we're doing.

Yep. You know, I bought a couple of pairs the other day. Oh, yeah. I'll dedicate those pairs to him. I bought three pairs in one day the other day. Wow. And that's, look, that sounds ostentatious,

but I probably hadn't bought a pair in three years before that, so. That's still a lot. So what do you get in a running pair or are these all just casual? These are just different casual pairs. You know what I did? I'm always looking for this certain type of Nike runner and I found it. You know the weird thing with Nike is you go to every shoe shop, it's not like they've got three pairs out and they're the same in every branded shop.

You don't know what the fuck you're going to get. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's always so different. So I went to this one shop and went, fuck, they're the ones I've been looking for forever. So I bought two pairs. Of the same shoe? Of the same shoe, different colour. Okay.

But then went out and then went and like left and then went, you know what? I'm going back and buying another pair. And then went back and bought a double of like the same colour. Okay. Interesting. Because that thing where, you know, do you ever get that where you get to the end of a shoe and you go fuck i wish i could just buy that shoe again i've done that i've yeah i've done that once i had a pair i really liked and then i saw them on sale somewhere and the only one they had left was in my size oh and i went you know what i'm just gonna get these and put them on ice for when these ones crashed yeah yeah let's you know what i did i remember doing that that's that's

my grown-up version i'm doing that with like nice nike sneakers i remember doing that when i was like 19 and i just discovered dunlop volleys yeah yeah yeah that's the thing i wish i liked like a um because yeah when you find a specific like item of clothing, like especially a shoe where you're like, this is the only shoe I want to wear for the rest of my life. Yeah. But then, yeah, they maybe stop making them or they fuck around with the model or whatever. I wish I was someone who like my favorite shoe was like a Converse Chuck Taylor.

Right. Because if that's you, it's like you wear them out. If you just like the plain black one it's like you wear them out if you just like the plain black one yeah you wear them out you can go and get the exact same pair fucking anywhere you like no worries and the same is true of the volley i was into the volleys for a bit and they're like yeah you wear them out and you just you just go to target and there they are that's it well i remember getting discovering them as like a uni student straight in. Yeah, fuck. Because it's like me going from Maribor to the big world of Ballarat. Yeah.

And going, wow, look at, there's not just three shoes in a shoe shop anymore. There's like five or six. Yeah. I could wear whatever I want. Yeah. So I discovered the Dunlop Volley. Fuck yeah, this is cool. You know, art student.

Yeah. Uniform basically. Yeah. I remember buying a pair and then being like, fuck yeah. And then going back and buying like two other pairs, like as if they're going to run out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then of course, by the time I like wear out that one pair,

I've gone, these are possibly some of the shitter shoes you could possibly wear. Anyone over the age of like 22 wearing a volley needs to get a fucking grip. They are a terrible shoe. They're a terrible shoe. You go through the, you know, I think aesthetically they look cool.

You go through your phase of your life where it's all about the volleys. What are they, like $20 or something like that? They're so cheap. I wore a pair around Europe when I was 21. I went overseas. You did a lot of walking. Yeah, I went to Edinburgh, London, Paris.

Fuck. And then New York. My feet are aching thinking about this. yeah. I went to Edinburgh, London, Paris. Fuck. And then New York. My feet are aching thinking about this. LA. I went on this big, yeah, big trip around the world by myself and just wearing them and like, yeah. I think I've still got back problems because of it. Yeah.

Like by the end, they were just thrashed. Yeah. And again, at that age, it's like badge of honor. I'll never replace these unless they're actually falling apart. You know, you've got like the hole in the big toe. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah.

I wonder. Yeah. I'm sure there'll be people who message us now. Oh, I'm 35 and all I wear is Dunlop volleys. Yeah. Well, I bet you don't subscribe to the Patreon because you're a fucking pov card. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I mean, if you go, I subscribe to the Patreon. The only reason I can afford that is because the only shoe I've ever bought is a Dunlop Volley and I'm passing the savings on to you guys. Then I'll accept it. I'm wrapped if that's a thing, but I seriously doubt it. But yeah, I remember it being a weird thing to be. I'm a uni student and so I've got no money. And I'm still like, yeah, I'm throwing these brand new shoes in the bin.

I don't want any part of these fucking things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So fuck them. But not fuck you, Lang Sharp. Thanks, Lang. We're your rose. You're going to have your previous sons and daughters trying to sue us for the money we're getting off your Patreon.

Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Jack Cave. Okay. Not too bad. J-A-C-K-C-A-V-E. Okay. Jack Cave. Related to Nick? I hope it's not his son.

Yeah. I don't know. It's probably not No probably not Probably not How long has he been You know How long has he been subscribing

He's still currently subscribing So yeah Okay Bank account never closed Jake Jack Unless it's an inheritance What do you think of Nick Cave

Not much Yeah I got given a free ticket To when he played at the Music bowl Fuck I guess it would have been Four Probably four years ago a fair while ago now yeah and there was one song i liked but yeah the rest of it not really for me i could appreciate the you know he's a he's a good performer and whatever else and

you know not to shit on a guy that i'm sure a lot of people listening love but i kind of went you know what maybe this is a good someone i know just had a free ticket and invited me along. I was like – I went in with an open mind. I'm like, you know what, never really gelled with it. I'm happy to be won over by the whole vibe of live performance. And it just – it fucking just dragged. I was – yeah, I was not having a good time. Absolutely not for me.

I would say he's the Australianralian tom waits as in no thanks just yeah listening listening to the stuff and going i don't i full-on like you know i'm into different stuff yeah good for everyone to be into different stuff but this stuff i'm really listening to it going how how is anyone going this is my thing? This is my number one thing? It's weird with art because there's plenty of stuff that you see where you go, hey, not for me, but I can sort of get it. It's just not. Whereas that kind of stuff I go, am I missing a part of my brain?

I just can't. Not only not for me, I just don't get it at all. Am I not colorblind? Am I music blind? What's happening here? Am I just not hearing this color? It's a it's like i don't know it's it's weird to me like that nick cave show it's just like you go out of the house and you go into a concert and it's like you know you want to have a fun time and it's like it's a bunch of adults watching a fucking old goth up there

it's just like is this a fun time out of the house like i don't get it i would say uh you know it seems like a bit of a wanker as well um and also uh i remember a bunch of girls in my at school being real being like oh yeah wanting to fuck nick k yeah okay being like fuck this guy okay um but i remember seeing him in an old Australian movie, like around about that time. I genuinely think it was a really good movie. It's called Ghost of the Civil Dead. I'm looking it up now.

It's 1988. Absolutely worth a watch. And what it is, it's like a scripted movie. Not an improv movie? Well, it's not a documentary. But what I was about to say, it's about the prison system in Australia, but it's not aed movie. Not an improv movie? Well, it's not a documentary. But what I was about to say, it's about the prison system in Australia, but it's not a documentary. Okay, right. So it's all set inside.

And it's very gritty, very real, very, like, lo-fi and slow pacing. And it's pretty grim. It's a bit scary. Yep. And you're going, fuck, this is deep. This is fucking heavy, this movie. Fuck, it's like really realistic.

Anyway, at the end, in the last 10 minutes or so, in Prance's Nick Cave, you know, playing a serial killer and everything else has been super realistic and grim and really,

you know, grounded. And he comes in pretending to be what he thinks is a serial killer. Right, right. I'm crazy. He's doing the Joker. Yeah, yeah, killer. Right, right. I'm crazy. He's doing the Joker.

Yeah, yeah, totally. Right, right, right. Absolutely. And it's fucking shit house. Okay, that sounds cool. It's so bad. I like it. He completely ruins the movie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Worth a watch just to see if you could, you know, to see if there's ever been anything else where you've been watching a movie and going, this is great. And then someone. Such a tonal shift right at the end. Someone been watching a movie and going, this is great. And then someone... Such a tonal shift right at the end. Someone absolutely gets a projector and takes a shit in it. Yeah.

And just fucks the rest of the movie. Yeah, yeah. Genuinely like a really good movie for 80 minutes or something like that. And then he walks in going, Woo! Woo! Woo! Yeah, yeah.

Oh, so bad. Sounds great. Have a look. I'd love to see if it's on a screening service or something. Just that clip is on YouTube or anything. Man, not that clip because you need the tonal sort of build up. You need the full build up, yeah. You need the 90-minute set up to it.

It's like, wow. And then, yuck. Sick. Fuck you, Nick Cave. Sorry, Jack Cave. Sorry for shitting on your dad. Yeah. But, you know, you're at peace now.

Your best friend and your dad. You're at peace now. Yeah. Well, you know, that wasn't the full movie. That was just the cliff notes of the movie. That's not... I didn't, you know... Jesus Christ.

But thank you, Jack Cave. Thanks very much. It's like, you know, Jack... Sorry, but I keep thinking something about jacking off into a cave, into a chasm. Is there something there? The first place my brain went was the little Thai boys that were trapped in the cave. They were in there a long time. Do you think you're doing a little J.O. roster?

It's my turn in the corner. Everyone turn around. No one look. Well, I think they were in darkness the whole time. Do you think you're doing a little J-O roster? You've been like, all right, it's my turn in the corner. Everyone turn around. No one look. Well, I think they were in darkness the whole time so I think they were probably all jerking it away.

Right. Not knowing. Yeah, okay. But also, you're sitting there. You're basically naked. You're wet. You're cold.

You're in a cave. Yeah. I got a load I got to get off right now. Yeah, true. It's like that meme. It's like, fellas, is it gay to jack off with your soccer team in a cave? Is that a meme?

Yeah, it's always like someone will post a screenshot of like some like kind of very toxic mask kind of thing of like, oh, my girlfriend, you know, my girlfriend wanted me to go to the car wash and I was like, fuck, I'm not doing that sissy shit. And like someone will screenshot it and be like, fellas, is it gay to go through the car wash that's a bad example but it's like a thing of finding finding men that are carrying on about something that is just really not a big deal because they they think that there's something like unmanly about it and it's like fellas is it gay to do this that would be good if you know when they finally got rescued they're just there's just there's just a surplus of calm. They go in there for some reason

with the UV, with the black light and it's like, the first person in there, they're blinded so then they can't guide them out because their retinas

have detached. Once the black light went off, just like. Not only that, they haven't turned the black light on yet. It's just so coated.

It's just glowing in there. Yeah. That's how they find them. Yeah. Just a fluorescent spoof wall of a cave. Thank God. Thank God we... Thank God they were like 13-year-old boys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, if that had been eight-year-old, we would never have found them. Like glowworms. We just followed the... Yeah. Yeah. The illuminated globs on the wall. Thanks, Jack.

Thanks, Jack. Thanks, Jackie. All right. Let's just do one more. Globs on the wall Thanks Jack Thanks Jack Thanks Jackie Alright let's just do one more We're starting to get a little bit delirious We've still got a bit to do We've got some dummy-os to do Multiple dummy-os Yeah

Fucking hell We've got We've actually got some orders for Funnybuggers I wanted to I've got a sign And I thought I'll get you to sign. Mm-hmm.

So we've still got admin to do, Tommy. Fuck this. Yeah, I know. I've got to get fucking home. All right. So we'll just do one more. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber... Oh, okay.

Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Thailand Spoof Comedy. Yep. Okay. Yep. Thanks, everyone.