The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 603 - Live! Wil Anderson, Dave Anthony & Gareth Reynolds

Episode Date: April 26, 2022

We're masked up and raring to go this week with WIL ANDERSON, DAVE ANTHONY and GARETH REYNOLDS! Wil’s won an award at the Festival moments before arriving at the podcast, we’ve strictly adhered to Dave and Gareth’s safety concerns with hilariously visual results, and Karl has a big announcement relating to Koh Samui that’s a huge chance of spiralling into a future lawsuit - so luckily he’s got three good friends with his best interests at heart to help him workshop the idea with productive and thoughtful feedback! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Will Anderson, Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds. If you enjoy hearing this live episode and you're listening to it hot off the presses and you live in Tasmania, you can come and see us this Saturday the 30th of April at the Uni Bar in Hobart. Get on down. That's in the afternoon, Tom, isn't it? What is it, 3 o'clock or 2 o'clock or something? Some bullshit, some shit, some fucking shit, some stupid shit in the Apple aisle. And we're doing standup as well.

We've got great guests. Very much looking forward to being down there in Tasmania. Haven't been there for many, many, many years. So yeah, get along. If you're, yeah, if you're in, if you, you know what, if not just in Hobart, if you're anywhere in Tasmania, get your ass on that freeway and get down to Hobart. Don't message us after the fact and go, why didn't you come to Devonport?

Because we came from Melbourne. So you come to us. As if there's anything in that entire state that beats this on a Saturday afternoon. Yes, exactly. Get down. Yeah, get down. LittleDumbDumbClub.com. Cannot wait to see you there.

We will talk to you more at the end of this episode in Talking Dumb Dumb. But until then, enjoy this great new live episode with Will Anderson, Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dassler. I'm with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. Get in again!

Yes! Let's get into this. Final weekend of the Comedy Festival. Carl, I hate to say it, I don't think you and I are getting our cars washed by the bus spewer. Oh, yeah. I don't think you and I are getting our cars washed by the bus spewer. Oh, yeah. I don't think it's happening. He's got 24 hours to come into our lives. I've been getting my car extra dirty ready for this guy.

It's covered in cobwebs. I've been just climbing up onto the bonnet and shitting on the windscreen every night after my gig. Yeah, well, if anyone wants to take his mantle, please feel free to spew on us and then do that as well. Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, if anyone wants to take his mantle, please, feel free to spew on us and then do that as well. Yeah, yeah, you're allowed to come spew on us after the gig

if you're prepared to come clean our cars tomorrow. It is the final week of Comedy Festival, like you said, which is good, I'm feeling it. I've been,

I mean, I feel like I've put on weight. I've been eating dinner at Fawlty Towers dining restaurant experience every night and, Really?

Because I went and I was starving at the end of it because all of it had been spilled all over me. I didn't get a bite in. Good food worth the bad service, I would have to say. Okay, right, right. I do find it awkward to sort of criticise it in this way, but the ethnic stuff in there, no good. Right.

So what you're saying is... I mean, the manager, the tall bloke with the mow, I like his style. Yeah, yeah, yeah, funny guy, funny guy He rules with an iron fist But you kind of got to get good results So what you're saying is once you manage to scrape the Beef bourguignon off the floor

It's actually a wonderful bonding experience It was very nice Despite the humiliating experience of everyone laughing At me doing that Well I'm glad you got to fit that show in That seems really good because, again, one of the other disappointments that we have to address here at the

Comedy Festival, we would have been getting ready tonight to head down and jubilantly check out the grand premiere of Hungry Jack's Yumbo Comedy. And yet another beautiful comedian cancelled by this politically correct culture that's gone mad.

Yumbo comedy will not be going ahead this evening as advertised. I don't think it was ever going ahead. I think he's told a bit of a whopper. That's comedy. Well, not being able to go to that gig has made me an angry Angus. Fries. Yep. Putting your dick in a thick shake. Yeah, there we go. He's done it again.

He's done it again. You know what? Coming in here today, sitting downstairs preparing our stuff and whatever, I don't know whether this sums us up or me up or whatever it is, the experience between us and the listeners, but I'm sitting downstairs and people are filing in for the show

and whatever and a girl came up and just put that beer in front of me and then went, there you go, I've been listening to Dumb Dumb for most of my life. And I was like, oh thanks. And she goes, no I don't want to talk to you. And she put the beer down and I was like, oh hey

and I'm like, okay well thanks for coming. And she just turned around and walked out of the pub. Okay. Alright. So I wasn't even coming to this thing anyway. Because I was going to say a girl doing that. You weren't here. Yeah, I was going to say a girl doing that to you, less believable than the idea that Hungry Jack's comedy was ever going to go ahead.

You're not, that girl isn't here, is she? Oh, she definitely left the building. Cool. So didn't want to talk to me, didn't want to listen to me. Wait, did she say anything about Dum Dum? Did she reference the podcast at all? Or did she just go, look at this sad, depressed man. No, no, no. He could use a drink.

No. She definitely didn't say that. She might have said Dum Dum, but she might not have been talking about the podcast. Right, right. Okay. All right. Well, how's it going down? Is it, you know? How's the beer? It's good, Tommy. Yeah, okay. All right. Well, how's it going down? Is it, you know?

How's the beer? It's good, Tommy. Yeah, okay. All right, nice, nice. Two good reviews. Thumbs up for Fawlty Towers Dining Experience and free beer.

And free beer. All right. What else is coming up? Damn, I just can't get the disappointment of Hungry Jack's Gumbo Comedy off my mind. I think I'm,

I honestly am contemplating just turning up there tonight and putting the gig on anyway in protest. Let's take these guys down. Let's do it. If this venue was closer, I'd head around there now and just do a set over the phone for the people in here with like a satellite audience.

Turn a yumbo comedy into a Zoom gig. I have been on Instagram in the last couple of weeks drawing little comics of myself and putting them out there. And the other day I had an idea for one where the whole thing was going to be about me not having the time and energy to finish it off. So the joke was going to be I've gotten on Fiverr and I've commissioned the final panel of this comic on Fiverr

and then the joke would be I would just get this awful kind of like fucked up hentai drawing of myself with like big anime tits, right? And the irony, getting on Fiverr and trying to find someone to do that for me, harder work than if I had just done the drawing myself. Because I get on, I find all these different people and so I'm messaging them going like, hey here's the joke, so it's like a woman with like just a big busting

anime woman with my head on it. And then people would walk right back and go, I don't quite understand. I do like your set up of this story where you're like, check out these weirdos. So it's them going like, I don't quite understand what you mean.

So then I'm sending their artwork to them like, see this woman in the maid outfit with just the gigantic rebel whoppers bursting out of her top. The gigantic what whoppers? Rebel whoppers. Rebel whoppers. Rebel. Rebel whoppers. Rebel whopper.

You guys know the Rebel Whopper? Yeah. All right. What a roll of the dice. Are you guys familiar with one specific item on the Hungry Jacks menu? Oh, okay. Yeah, I think we're across it. It's the Whopper but with the onion rings on it, isn't it?

Is that what it is? Oh, pardon me. With what? No, genuinely not all at once. Just talk amongst yourselves, appoint one person. It's a vegan burger. Oh, because it's in the rebel party. Okay, right, I get it.

I don't know if that's an appropriate metaphor to call a woman's breast vegan. A cartoon Japanese woman's vegan breast. There should be meat in there I think. Right, But all of these people like they would go, I don't understand. I'd go, just take that drawing, take that drawing and put just my head on it. And then they would go can we see a photo of what we're

working with? And with all of them I would just send back a photo of my head shot and they would all write back and go, I'm not doing that. Honestly like 15 artists on Fiverr who were all like, please, we're a little bit busy doing a drawing of a giant prawn fucking a 14 year old boy.

We are not going to have the time to lower ourselves with this smart. All these people on Fiverr going, we are not going to do it for that much. You should check out Sixer. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. So yeah, that's been my horrific experience. Alright, if we're out of petrol, let's bring a guest on.

Let's bring a guest on to pour some gas on this baby. Folks, please welcome back into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Will Anderson! Yes! Yes! Are we wearing masks the whole time? I heard there's some other guests on who demand that we wear masks. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that's... We're not wearing them. I mean, him because he's already had it and me because there's nothing for me to really miss out on in the future. So... And I'm wearing mine because I'm not actually Will Anderson. He's got better things to do.

I'm Dave Thornton doing a very good Will Anderson. He doesn't just do Hughsey. He does the whole Glasshouse team. I love his career. His career is amazing. He retired her. He does her only in courts now. She's a lawyer.

That's why that joke works. Sorry, this is terrible. Having the mask on or the rest of it? in courts now. She's a lawyer. That's why that joke works. Is anyone your kind? This is terrible. Having the mask on or the rest of it? Oh, you know what I just saw? There's a Bucks party upstairs.

So like about 20 guys all dressed in like wacky Hawaiian shirts or whatever and the bride-to-be is dressed as like the queen or whatever

like all dolled up as like... Hang on, hang on. Hang on, what? The what? The bride-to-be's at the... No, he's like the groom-to-be is dressed as the bride-to-beed up as like... Hang on, hang on. Hang on, what? The bride to be is at the... No, he's like, the groom to be is dressed as the bride to be. But he looks like...

Let's get up there. This is funny. Flux in dresses. What I'm saying is I think they think they're a bunch of weirdos, but they should come down here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's swap. Let's swap audiences.

That's true yumbo comedy going upstairs. Thank you for having me. It's nice to be back. Congratulations. This is the second last day of the Comedy Festival. You won an award today. I did.

The director's choice. What's the prize there? What is the prize? I don't know if there is a prize. Is it? What? I mean, I don't know.

I didn't check. I left. I was quite surprised that it happened. I was like, finally a victory for the little man. That's what I was going to say, because I think traditionally that prize,

it's like a trip to Edinburgh, so finally you can do some comedy overseas. It's like, good on you, mate. Go and see what the rest of the world thinks of you. You know what? You know what? I mean, I split it with Bronwyn Cuss, who fits the category of the person who normally wins that award,

but it was very nice that they also were just like, hey old man, you can have a trophy too, fuck off. Are you dying or something? I'm guessing if Susan Proven gets the results before me. Yeah, they're like, the doctors didn't know your phone number so they just ring the comedy festival and instead of

relaying that you're dying, let's get an award to soften the blow. It's like your GP, you've got to go in and get the results off them. So she calls you up, hey, you'd better come in, it's bad news. Yeah, well, I mean, it did feel like one of those awards you do give to somebody when they've been out of comedy for 20 years and they came back

and did one final show about the fact that they're dying and they're just like you know what we'll invent an award we'll give them an award except I feel fine. So either all of this

is true or maybe you just had a good show. The show was pretty good. I do love the idea of an award category where the subtext is please wrap it up. Take this gong and then don't come back ever again.

Fuck off with sticker will puns. Go away. So what means more to you, the Director's Choice Award or placing in Hayley's IMDB fuck list from a couple of years ago? Oh, yeah. Well, you know what? You talk about the fact that I placed it in her fuck list from all those years ago,

but then when she did the revised fuck list, I was not even nominated. I wasn't even part of the nomination process. Yeah, okay. Well, maybe on try three, now that you've got this award. Maybe that's what she was hanging out for. She was like, if the director chooses him, then I can choose him too. If the festival director says he's a hot piece of arse,

I guess I could see my way to... Get the double, the director's choice and the erector's choice. Can I tell you, I... So... Don't brush off that joke. Yeah. That was great. You can have my award.

So I was out having a walk and I've stopped drinking. Had my last drink on the final night of the Comedy Festival last year. Oh, wow. Haven't had a drink for almost a year, but I've replaced that with micro-dosing magic mushrooms. And it's fucking excellent. Hang on, did you win this award or did you just imagine you won this award? Well, kind of both because I was out for my daily walk

and often before I go for my walk, I will just micro-dose a little magic mushroom and it just gives you a little extra appreciation of the beautiful world in which you live as you go for a bit of a walk. And anyway, my manager calls me up. Did you actually do a comedy festival show this year or were you just looking at the lights for an hour?

Well, you know what the thing is? This is the first comedy festival I've done that I'm not drinking, but it's the first comedy festival I've done that I'm not drinking, but it's the first one that I've done where I'm microdosing magic mushrooms and they just gave me a trophy, so... LAUGHTER I'm learning some fucking lessons from this,

I've got to be honest. All right. But, yeah, so I'd gone for a bit of a walk and I was like, you know, I was having a nice little time or whatever and then I go into, like, the 7-Eleven to buy a coffee in 7-Eleven because I am still a man to the people. LAUGHTER time or whatever and then I go into like the 7-Eleven to buy a coffee in 7-Eleven because

I am still a man to the people. I buy a $2 coffee at the 7-Eleven but during it my manager calls me and say, hey, you know, where are you? The awards are on and come over to the awards. So obviously they just like a bit of a like fucking heads up that maybe something was going to happen. Can you be there? And so like I'm just now...

You thought I'm a Lockford best newcomer. This was going to happen can you be there and so like i'm just you thought i'm a lock for best newcomer this is going to be great i was like i did not know why i needed to be there i was like that's weird i don't know why am i meant to anyway whatever so i um so i'm like okay i better like go to this thing right and i'm gonna have to go straight there and i'm feeling a bit fuzzy so anyway i walk out of the 7-eleven and i stole the coffee. I forgot to pay for my coffee because I was distracted, and I was almost all the way to the awards before I realised and went back and paid for my coffee. Oh, damn. Fuck, I thought we were going to get on the Daily Mail.

Fuck! It's a shame there was enough time for you to go back. You could have taken the trophy and gone back into the 7-Eleven and gone, look, I've got no cash on me, but will this cover the watery, disgusting coffee I just had? Again, no trophy, I believe. Like, I don't think there was any prize. It's not really much of an award, is it?

It gave me something to talk about on the little Dunlop Club and that's fucking it. It's great to be mentioned, but... Yeah, do you reckon they gave it all to... Was it Bronwyn, the other one? Yes. Do you reckon they just gave it all to her and just sortwyn, the other one? Yes. Bronwyn, do you reckon they just gave it all to her and just sort of thought,

oh, she could do with it more than you? I mean, I hope that is the case. Like, I would endorse that. If there was some sort of prize and they were like, no, you two have to split it, I would give it all to her. Like, I wouldn't be like, no, no, Arby's. You get to fly to Edinburgh and she gets to fly back. Yeah.

She spoke first. Like, you know, they called the two of us up on stage to fly back. Yeah. She spoke first. Like, you know, so they called the two of us up on stage to do our little speeches and she spoke first. Of course, she couldn't follow you, you know. Please welcome to the stage your next award winner. She immediately made me feel so fucking old because she's like, you know, new at comedy, right? And she's as old as I am. She probably was born like the first year I did the festival Made me feel so fucking old Because she's like You know new at comedy right And she's as old as I am Like she

She probably was born Like the first year I did the festival And she's like Oh my god My mum wants a photo with you Okay And I'm like

Yeah that's where I am Okay so But she spoke really beautifully But her opening line was She goes I don't really know who to thank Because I did this all myself And I was like

I can't say that Yeah she deserves the trophy Or I'd like, I can't say that. Yeah, she deserves the trophy. Or I'd like to see a ceremony where just like someone comes out with a big angle grinder and just cuts the thing in half in front of you. We'll get to just watch that. Like half a trophy. Yeah, half a trophy.

Yeah, I don't know where any of the trophies that I have won are. Yeah, same with us, yeah. I've got a sneaking suspicion in other better comedians' houses. I have one from when I was in Year 11 when I went in the Lions Use of the Year

Public Speaking Competition. Was that a comedy award or just a speaking award? Well, OK, well, you can decide. So, yeah, I was in Year 11. There's this public service competition run by the Lions Club called the Lions Youth of the Year, and it's a national competition, and they have, like, state heats at Lions Clubs, and you do a public speaking element,

and there's a community service element, and there's, like, an improvised speech. So, like, a prepared speech and an improvised speech. You do it in front of the local Lions Club and whatever and then you just go through the regionals and you go up to the state final and I won the state final and was like the Victorian Lions Youth of the Year.

And you got a trophy? And got a trophy. Oh, better than the comedy festival. Fuck them. No, I don't think I actually even got a trophy for winning it. I got a trophy for my friends and it's like a doorknob and it says Lion's Knob of the Year. Because my friends were great.

But yeah, I went to the National Finals and lost at the National Finals. Oh, who too? Carl Barron? Ursula Carlson, weirdly. Arj came third. Nice. Arsene Weasley. Arj came third.

Nice. I'm just still fixated on the part of the story where your manager calls you up and goes, hey, you'd better get down to the awards ceremony because, you know, something might be going on. Because for a long time that was our favourite prank to play on other people and on our own Facebooks, just getting on on, like, the last day of the festival and being like, just got this call telling me

I should be at a... From an unknown number. From an unknown number telling me it was in my best interests to be at the Hi-Fi bar. I wonder what it could mean. And I'm so deep in it as a bit to think that it actually works in reality. It's like, yeah, mate, you better get down there. We used to do that to people at bars,

like to other comedians, and go, oh, didn't you hear? I heard you're supposed to be at the Hi-Fi later on tonight. And they're like, really? And we're like, no, you think you're good at comedy, you fucker. Yeah, you really get an insight into people's self-belief. It's pretty great. And to be fair, an insight into us as well. But, I mean, you know all these offshore phone scams

that are so targeted now? It's the tax department or whatever. You've got some delivery that you need to put down a deposit for. You could clean up at the comedy festival sending people a message saying, hey, it's awards time today and I really think you should be down there but it is $15 too. Oh, yes. Yes, yes.

To book your place down at the party to make sure that like. Yeah, it's at the Hungry Jacks at Southern Cross Station. $25 on the door. Your big chance of Yumbo of the Year. Must be a typo. It says Erector's Choice. Fuck, the callback was better than the joke. I'd like to think it's the delivery.

I think it's the mushies. Yeah, I'm amazed that you didn't go, you've already micro-dosed on the way there and then you're like, I'm about to win an award, time to macro-dose. Time to kick this shit into fucking... No, I unfortunately didn't do my maths correctly for how long the festival is or I went too hard.

I wasn't maybe micro-dosing early in the festival. As the festival has gone on, I've had to do some maths where I count down every day. I count out how much I've got. Anyway, whatever. You missed a week too. There should be more.

Oh, yeah. I mean, that is a good point. That just means my maths was way off early on. You really papered the house early on. Well, you know what the problem is though? No, because I mean I've been trying to be as COVID safe as possible

so literally it's like I do the show and then I go back to the hotel room all day long and just stay inside in the hotel room apart from a walk

so it's a lot of time to fill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know. Alright, well let's get another guest. Should we get our next guests out here?

Folks, please welcome back into the Little Dum Dum Club Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds! Should we get our next guests out here? Folks, please welcome back into the Little Dum Dum Club, Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds! Yes! They're here, yes, yes. All right.

We have asked our audience to mask up as per your request. We've given them the regular mask and given them the alternative mask, which is... Oh my god, what the fuck is going on? Oh, you got my... You actually got a photo of us? Wait. Just not for the flyer. Hold on. I'm on social media, and this is what they call a post.

Absolutely fucking horrifying. That's really... That's like that scene in Being John Malkovich where everyone's Malkovich in the restaurant. What about a reboot of Being John Malkovich where it is two people doing a podcast inside his head? He kills himself in the first five minutes.

Let me out of this prison. For everyone at home, everyone was wearing a Dave or Gareth mask then and we sort of probably didn't put enough thought into it thinking this will be funny and then we revealed that but you're revealing it so of course you're not laughing at that. It's really crazy if you're up here.

Yeah. It feels like a macro dose. That was a great example of a joke that is actually a great joke but in the way you prepared it it was good for nobody. And that's the thrust of this show. Yeah.

What a beautiful summation of what we do up here. The better level is that it's a podcast, so no one will know what the fuck just happened at all. It's for them, not for them, for us and then nobody at home. I explained it. I should have just made a mental note for an edit point.

At least it'll come out easily. I can't see there being any callbacks to this. If you guys could help me out and just not address it for the next 45 minutes. Unfortunately, I think it's rape. I see a lot of callbacks. Can I ask you this? Hypothetical scenario,

Gareth. You have to, to save the world. Oh yes, I like it already. Have sex with one of our audience. Oh yes, I like it already. Have sex with one of our audience members. But they, in front of their face, are holding either a Gareth mask.

Well, it's going to really depend on which mask you're going to talk about. I'll be honest. Or a Dave mask. Well, there's one that I'll fuck. I feel like jerking off as... No. No. Oh my god. What about if you get halfway No, no, oh my God. What about if you get halfway through and go, oh my God, that's not a mask?

Oh my God, no. He's got a pair of rebel whoppers. No, I mean, the ultimate scenario is it's the Gareth mask and then it gets pulled down and it's Dave underneath. Oh, you guys, it's not getting better. This pitch is getting worse. No, the world goes. You saved the world.

You're a hero, everyone loves you I guess, it'll be hard for me to walk through What exactly happened though People are like, how'd you do it? I'll be like, I don't want to talk about it But you're welcome I thought I was fucking myself I don't want to get into it

You're welcome everybody Satisfying? I don't want to get into it. I really... You're welcome, everybody. Right. Satisfying? Just getting a little bit hot in here, Dave. That's all. For the people at home, Carl's followed up his first joke that doesn't work on a podcast

with an immediate follow-up of another joke that does not work on a podcast. It's amazing to see two in a row so quickly. You are on a hat-trick of visual gags. You should see my Marcel Marceau chunk. Shut up, Will. I'm about to start juggling.

It's going to really fire up the home audience. Look at me go, everyone. Good stuff, isn't it? I'm not dropping any of them. Wow. Oh, wow. This is going to be eight minutes long. I'm still doing it.

That's quite a somersault, Tommy. Thank you. I'm nude now as well. You guys at home should have bought a ticket. It's really something up here. Are you bothered by this, Dave? I don't. It's so funny because he thinks it's really going to upset me

and I just don't care. I don't know what it is and I find it upsetting. I'm just wearing my Liverpool shirt. I haven't made any mention to Dave that Liverpool beat Manchester United, your team. And in case you missed the news, I just thought I'd wear this. That's all. What colour is the Manchester United wear?

Red. Red also. So you've worn a shirt that is the same colour as the team he supports. So even if this was visual there would still be confusion. Which is amazing. There's no confusion.

Dave knows what he's not looking at. Is this just the show for Dave? This is a pity because he's not listening. You would think that this would be the one week you would take off since our best player's child died, but you didn't. Oh. Well, you've ruined about five minutes of my preparation for Wydell.

Those of you who held up the Dave mask, you feel shame yet? If it helps, I don't think he's that good. What, the kid? Well think he's that good. What, the kid? Well, he's not great. Yeah. All right, thanks for coming out, everybody. Sorry, Dave, I'll take it off and I'll wear nothing. Don't take it off.

Keep it on. Oh, here we go, here we go. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh. Oh, no, off. Keep it on. Here we go. Here we go. Oh my god. Oh no. It's just a shirt. Dave's wearing a shirt that says everything is terrible. Is that a review of the show so far?

He's got five more on. This is dumb dumb wear. This is the only shirt you should sell. Besides the Milan ones. Yeah. And the book that you sell that makes money off of other comedians' jokes. How does that...

I edited it. I put them all together in a book so I get the money. What don't you understand? The money goes to the compiler. We all know that. If it helps, it wasn't much money. How much was it?

What was the exact amount? The exact amount? Yeah. I think it was. Because this was like 10 years ago during the publishing boom when it was at its peak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back when people were eating books. They were loving it.

I think it was $11,000. And what did you pay the individual contributors? Somewhat under that. Well, what do you pay per word? Like there's some people in there that have one joke that goes for six words. Sure. Well, you break it down by the percentage of their work that you used, and then you divvy the money up.

Well, isn't that a real good answer? Well, well, well, someone has a really appropriate response. Facts are funny. It's good shit. I think someone just talked themselves out of funny buggers, too. I think you need to write this wrong. I think you should be posting a $200 check to Hannah Gadsby for her kids in Funny Buggers.

Yeah, if you look at the cover, it's like the last time Greg Fleet was ever above Hannah Gadsby. There's no way that's happening anymore. But thanks for bringing that to the forefront. Yeah, sure. I'm trying to sell some of the books that you're... Help him steal. I didn't steal.

I asked for the jokes. And then people said yes, and some people said no. And the people that said yes, I put in the book. And the people that said no, you never forgave. No, no, I'm here. Did I ask you? I believe I got asked. Okay.

I don't know if you asked me directly. Talk us through your response to seeing that email. Oh, no, it never got to me. Mate, the only reason I'm here today is you didn't ask through my manager. So they just called you months after the fact and went, we've helped you dodge a bullet here, don't worry about it. They do that quite a lot, actually. I do remember getting no emails from people I didn't even ask.

Oh, that's amazing. Not bad. I literally got an email that said, how dare you ask for this? And I was like, I fucking didn't. At no point was that vibe making you be like, eh, maybe not. And everyone was like, oh, fuck you. You're like, look, if you're passing, you're passing.

You don't want to be in my compilation book. You're like one of those albums of the top hits of the year. Oh, yeah, and then somebody doesn't clear eight of the good songs that were actually the top hits of that year. And so you're just like, no, no, no. Safety doesn't clear, like, eight of the good songs that were actually the top hits of that year. And so you're just like... Oh, shit. No, no, no, Safety Dance was definitely in 2010.

Definitely. Yeah, those people put Uptown Funk on here. I feel so stupid. Yeah, yeah, they asked Bruno Mars in the same way that I asked Nick Capa. So it's all the same. You should have called the book So Fresh Comedy 2010. That would have been... Yes.

I think we'd all be forgiving of that. Have I ever told you the story on this... I can't remember if I have, about the time that Mark Ronson invited me on his boat for a party because he saw me make a speech. Oh, I had another thing where I was going to get a... Who? Can I...

I... GQ Man of the Year, I believe. Oh, really, was it? Yeah. Who is that? And so Mark Ronson, who's like uptown funk, that's him, like with Bruno Mars. He's like a big-time DJ dude. And I said no because I had to do a gig at the Comics Lounge.

Oh, nice. Same energy. So I went and did a gig at the Comics Lounge instead of going on a party boat with Mark Ronson. Yeah, that's right. That is a decision I have looked back on many times. Mark Ronson, Dave O'Neill, same, same. It's the exact same vibe. How did the gig go?

Good at least? I can't even remember. Oh, man. Mushrooms started early. Hey, you might be interested in this. No, probably not. It's great to see you guys again, honestly. Gareth, I saw you yesterday and you were talking about the pandemic in the States

and you were like, yeah, it's fucking crazy. Like, no one is taking this thing seriously. And I was like, yeah, you're in another country. Yeah. Wait, what? I don't understand. You're traveling. Yeah.

With masks. It's a nightmare. Yeah, you're living it up. It's over. Oh, yeah. It's every night Mark Rons You're traveling. Yeah. With masks. It's a nightmare. Yeah, you're living it up. It's over. Oh, yeah, it's every night Mark Ronson's boat. Yeah, for sure. He's complaining about you people being here. Right.

Okay. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. Now I understand. Thank you, Carl. Sorry, that probably didn't get across at home, but the juggling was really ramping up at that point. I threw a chainsaw into the mix.

It's amazing that you did it at the same time. It's killing in the room so hard that I think it's exceeded the decibel level for recorded audio. I mean, everybody is literally like waving their masks in the air, just needed to put it back as a show so you don't edit it out. That's right. You know what? So travel is back on.

You guys are travelling here from America. I am going to do some traveling very soon. It's the first time I'm going to go to Koh Samui in three years. Oh, they must be. What, are they having a parade? He's back. Some of my greatest. Carl Samui.

Yeah. Some of my greatest memories. Can you, Gareth? I mean, remember? It was great. It was unbelievable. Remember Dave? Oh, I'm sorry.

I will never forget not going. Carl's the king there. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so I brought this up with Tommy last year. I said, what do you think about going next year? He said, absolutely not. So I said, well, okay.

Well, I still want to go. People were, a lot of listeners here have hit me up to sort of go, oh, you should go back or I want to go there and whatever. They're asking your permission to go there? Carl, may I? If there's no festival, may I try? You've got to go through me if you want to get to Samui. So I have bought some flights for my family and I,

and we're all going to go. A lot of people have said, I want to go as well in June and whatever. I'm like, you know what? My wife doesn't have the job at the airline anymore. I can't get the cheap flights anymore. I've got to make this work for me. I've got to make this tax deductible. So that's why today I'm announcing the official Koh Samui

Dum Dum Con 22 to be held in Koh Samui on June the 18th. Now it won't be a live podcast. Tommy's not coming. It is a fan convention only. Few meet and greets. There is a fan convention only. Yeah. A few meet and greets. Yeah, there is a big get this year.

A big guest speaker, the co-host of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. He will be speaking. Can I make an announcement? Yeah. I will be there. Dave, I'll come with you. Hang on, as fans?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. Great, great. I'll sign you up. Hang on, as fans? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great, great. I'll sign you up. So you're having a Carl Khan? Dumb dumb Khan. I'm just a speaker. I'm a humble speaker. You're leaning very hard on con, I think. Yeah.

Funny Buggers Live. Come check it out. It's not a compilation. It's a con-polation. Welcome to Khan Khan. That's a great idea. It's not a compilation. It's a con-polation. Welcome to Khan Khan. That's a great idea. I was thinking I'll do a Q&A. I'll get Nick Capper on Zoom to talk about where he gets

his ideas from. And then we can have a live reading from Funny Bugger. That's a great idea. Who's we? The convention. Oh, the convention holders, right. So you speaking, that's obviously like the marquee event. That's like the headline act oh the convention holders right so you speaking that's obviously like the marquee event that's like the headline act on the sunday or whatever absolutely we've got funny buggers live reading yes what else are we what else are we peppering this thing out with

uh tbc okay yeah yeah how about this can i pitch you something sure because i feel like it's more like less like a convention where people are coming just the idea that they can meet you but more like you know how people can go to coming just the idea that they can meet you. But more like, you know how people can go to band camp or space camp? Right. So like if a Dum Dum listeners ever want to feel like they could be in the little Dum Dum camp. Oh, right. You like have this camp where you're running through some stuff.

You eventually have a camp at the end of it where everyone gets to come up and be like, you've got like a Blakey wig or whatever. Oh, yeah. Someone can be Kappa. Cosplay. We make this hell for him. Every person who's there gets to do a one-hour talking dum-dum with Carl. So his days are just back-to-back, big sweaty craft beer fans being like, what's Kappa really like? Yeah, you teach him how to steal other comics jokes.

No, no. We're on to a new thing now. This is a different thing. But I like the idea they all have to dress like the guests. That's my only proviso, is you have a whole bunch of costumes, and if people, like, they choose which guest they want to be,

like, if they want to be Cheney, they have to do the eyes. Oh! Yeah, if you want to be Ronnie, you can just stay at home. Or Dave. No, I want to say Ronnie, you can just stay at home. Or Dave. No, I want to say 110% I will fucking be there. Did you write down the date when I said it? He's got it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's got it. It's June 20th. June 18th. I'm going to get there a couple days late. Yeah. The time difference, it's hard to get there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right, yeah.

Oh, that's American time. Yeah, I'm coming in American time. Okay, all right. Well, this is exciting. This is great to hear. I can't wait to be on the beach with you again. Yeah. Us fucking playing volleyball like we did.

You didn't come the last time, so I'll overlook that, but I'm focusing on the future. June 18th. Yeah, yeah, and I wouldn't miss it. Honestly, I want to make up for what I did, and I feel really bad, and I feel't, honestly, I want to make up for what I did. And I feel really bad and I feel like Carl Conn

is the way to do it. Yeah, it's Dumb Dumb Conn, but yeah, not Carl Conn. Well, Tommy's not Could it be Carl Conn? Yeah.

Are you thinking too small with Dumb Dumb Conn and it's actually all the aspects of your life? No, no. The pajamas. The pyjamas. The pyjamas.

Right. People get... Yes. People get to come and tuck you into bed at night in the pyjamas. There's me in the...

One day you come out in the pyjamas. Yes. One day it's you going to get some chocolate mousse. Yes. You know,

it's every aspect. Being on the door, booking comics. Yeah. A dog pisses on your balcony. Yeah. Not mentioning your wife's name. Yeah, yeah, hiding your wife and wearing your pajamas.

Again, just really mostly pajama stuff. Yeah, I got that from you. Yeah, a lot of PJ stuff. I'm not wearing big heavy pajamas in fucking Thailand. I'm not going to do it. When you get there, you'll see how you feel. Yeah. And I think that's fair. If people are going to come, expect pajamas. You've not going to do it. When you get there, you'll see how you feel. Yeah. And I think that's fair.

If people are going to come, expect pajamas. You've got to wear the pajamas. You're not in Koh Samui. You're at Carl Conn. Yeah, it's different. Hey, buddy, you want to write this off or not?

Carl Conn's not going to write itself off, asshole. Put on the fucking pajamas. Everyone goes over with you. They're all wearing the pajamas as well. And on the final day of Carl Conn, you all drink the famous Carl Chandler Kool-Aid.

I mean, wouldn't you love it if one day, like at night they're in their pyjamas, at day they're in their Liverpool shirts. Like they've got the whole look. They never wear shorts. I just feel like it needs to be Dum Dum Con, not Carl Con, because I know what you're trying to do. But also, I'm looking at the crowd here, big crowd here for Dumb Dumb.

I look out at a Carl Chandler stand-up gig and I do not see this crowd. So I feel like there's more potential to get people to Koh Samui if I appeal to Dumb Dumb rather than get too specific. Than just personally on your own Facebook page going like, hey guys, anyone want to come on a holiday with me? Carl Con. Well, how many people do you need to have anyone want to come on a holiday with me? Carl Khan. Well, how many people do you need to have come for it to be a radar? Yeah.

Like, one. So it's Carl Khan. How many at best do you think would come? Man, I honestly think we've nearly got double figures. I've been doing my... I've been doing my... What a sound. We've got six people.

This is... What I love also is we've nearly got double figures. There wasn't really any, yeah, we're definitely into double figures. Secondly, you think by taking it from Dum Dum to Carl Conn, those numbers will drop dramatically? It's over five, but it's less than nine. It's seven, I reckon. There's a few not confirmed.

Imagine how sad their lives are. No. No. It's not like all day they're just listening to me reading from funnybuggers in pyjamas. Oh, that's not how to pitch it. Come on. You're never going to get into double figures with talk like that. There's a lot of free time

on the agenda. Yeah, but you'll be reading from that book of nursery rhymes or whatever in your pyjamas No Yeah, a lot of it will be that It's not nursery rhymes That's at least two of the days It's not nursery rhymes, it's stolen jokes, okay? I thought you also did nursery rhymes

I want recreations of jokes you've written for other people I want you to have a little compilation of a Spix and Spectrum project Yeah, do like a Richard Byron No, no, no I want you to have a little compilation of a Spix and Spectrum project. Yeah, do like a Richard Byer. No, no, no. Because me doing the jokes I've written for Nazeem Hussain and Joel Creasy do not reflect well on me. But why don't you just do your favorite hours of other comedians' stand-up? Yeah.

You go to a bunch of Will shows. An hour compile of little bits of other people. It could be all of Will's shows. I mean, we said you won a lot of awards. Maybe you could just piece together the Will show. You can do it in your pajamas. Everyone's there. Nobody can see your wife.

I think you're fantastic. You know what? You just go out and you go, this is an audio book. And then you do their acts. Yeah, that's not bad. Yeah, right, right, yeah. I think we're getting away from the whole Koh Samui aspect and getting back onto the stealing bit,

which I think we need to swing it back to Koh Samui. You brought it up. He's stealing money from the ATO by putting on Carl Conn as a write-off. And stealing money from the people who visit Carl Conn. Let's be completely honest. I feel like I'd like to say this for the last time. It's dumbed on Conn. Well, I don't know.

It doesn't even sound as good. Con is catchy. Con. Con. Con. Okay. Now you all have to come. That's the agreement. If you say it, you have to come. And then everyone's room can have the thing of

pajamas for them to wear for the weekend. You get one pair and you put it on over your clothes. Oh, let me. Please can I finish with my idea before you get so angry at me? I'm a guest on your fucking show. Everyone puts the pajamas over their clothes and then they take public transit in the pajamas from time to time.

I would like for you to say 20 words without mentioning the P word. I don't agree to that. I mean, I don't know. I'm having a really good time. Does that help? Yeah. That doesn't sound fun. Yeah. What are we going to talk about? Dum-Dum Con. We've already said that's not

happening. No, no, no, no. Literally nobody wants to talk about the Dum-Dum Con. May I ask a pertinent question at this point? I don't know if this has occurred to anyone else on the panel, but the investigative journalist part of my brain is firing up. Yes.

Go ahead, Columbo. Has Don't Say Her Name been made aware of these plans for Carl Conn on what I assume she's being led to believe is a romantic getaway? She is broadly across some of this. Broadly across the Koh Samui part of it. She knows we're going. Right. And she also knows Carl.

So she won't be surprised when this is announced at some point. I will say this. What she does know about it is this at this point. We are going. Yep. We've got the tickets. Sure. And when I went to book the return flight, I said,

when are we going to return? And she said whatever the date was, but then said, I said, when are we going to return? And she said, whatever the date was. But then said, I expect you'll probably stay another couple of days. And I was like, oh, my God. I'll take that. I didn't expect that. I'll take that. And then I went to book and she said, you know, I'm sure you'll stay another two days.

And I looked at it. And I looked at the fares for two days' time and went, they're quite expensive. What if I pushed it forward another couple of days and I got there was a good deal on in a week's time. What if you just live there? So that's the bit of it she doesn't know about yet. But if Carl Conn is like a five day

event, right? Like with different Carl related activities. Why are you making Carl Conn happen while she's there? It's Dumb Dumb Conn, but anyway. No, but this is what I'm saying about Carl Conn happen while she's there? It's dumb dumb con. This is what I'm saying about Carl Conn.

Let him finish with his idea for Carl Conn. I know at the dumb dumb

live shows over there you would always go for a run with everyone but at Carl Conn you go

for a run but everyone eats a loaf of high fibre bread and then you all run and see how long it

takes each person to shit themselves have the full Carl experience backup pair of PJs for sure because they might shit them I'm sorry Carl, you have to think this through buddy, as your friend and fellow organiser

of CarlCon you're not going to want to be washing them these kinds of things people generally get like a little show bag of Carl Khan. You're not going to want to be washing them. You need these kinds of things people generally get like a little show bag of goodies at the end with Peter Alexander pajamas

with little pictures of your head on them. Okay. People would be into that. Oh, you can put a book of stolen jokes in there. No, no, no. That's pretty good.

I didn't think I was going to say this but can we get back to the pajamas? Well, well, well. Yes, we can. You can just go into people's rooms and steal stuff out of their suitcases. Oh, that's great. That's the

full experience. And then you put it all in one suitcase that's yours. That's not the point of any of this, and it's also not a good advertisement for dum-dum con. What else is in that suitcase of his, Gareth? In CarlCon, it's going to be mainly pyjamas. That's my boy. Banners promoting the PJs. Yeah, right. What else is in that suitcase of his, Gareth? In CarlCon, it's going to be mainly pajamas.

That's my boy. Banners promoting the PJs. Yeah, right. Okay, all right. But, yeah. So this is a thing. It is a thing. June 18, DumDumCon 22.

CarlCon is happening. DumDumCon 22. CarlCon. CarlCon is happening. DumDumCon 22. It's exciting. I might come over for one day just to change all the signs from Dumb Dumb Conn to Carl Conn. Yeah.

And then it's straight back. I'm there for an hour. You should sue him. That's great. Say that while you're not there, you don't let him use the right term. No, you haven't seen the logo yet. It's D-U-M-B, D-U-M-B, K-O-N. Just in case.

Yeah. You know what's amazing? Around this time frame, I genuinely might be in Bali. Can I suggest throwing a Tommy Con? So I could run over there, the new original Dumb Dumb Con. Competing Dumb Dumb events to see who gets more people. We have Carl Con versus Tommy Con. Oh, fuck.

Because I was trying to book Brett Blake as a guest, and now I'm no fucking chance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so... That would be great in a fucking, like, you know, a Marvel style, like, you know, the two groups of superheroes have to fight each other and you two split up. You go to Bali, you go to Thailand

and then all your favourite guests choose their sides and have a podcast off. Oh, fuck, I'm into this. If there is a cash prize to my award, I'm funding this. Oh, yes. Yes. Will Anderson presents Dumb Dumb Con 22. Yeah, great.

At the very least, can we get you to chip in the price of a 7-Eleven coffee to try and get this GoFundMe off the ground? You've got to spare $2. Dave, if I can lure you away from Carl Con over to Dumbbell. I'd love to. No, you're a Samui. That's great. I'm a Samui tragic.

You are a Samui tragic. You're locked in. If I know you well, you would never pull out of something as important as that. Yeah, so I'm what's known as Ballybound. I'm heading to Bally. Where? To Bally. You heard that. Yeah, so I'm what's known as Ballybound. I'm heading to Bally. Where? To Bally.

You heard him. Oh, right. Okay, I'll see you guys there in Bally. Is it Bally? He's going to Bally. Bally? Yeah. It's fucking Bally, you dumb cunt.

So weird you didn't pronounce the R that's not in it. Fucking say it right. Is it Barley? It's Barley. Barley. Altern alternate pitch for it maybe a couple years Carl Cunt no

we're putting the cart before the horse a little bit okay I'm just saying thank you for seeing so much in the idea that it's going to go on Carl Cunt

I'm glad you're finally coming around can I ask you now that you've announced it how you feel like the announcement is gone? Yeah.

I can see a lot of people, well, not their reaction because they've all got masks on thanks to fucking you, but I feel like if I could see faces, they would be making the facial expression of

I'm going. If you could see their faces, they'd also be making the expression of I'm giving you COVID. How many people will go but only if it's called CarlCon and not DumDumCon? Hold up your mask if you go if it's CarlCon. Hold up your mask if you'll go if it's DumDumCon.

Yeah, everyone. Everyone at home. And then hold up your mask who'd go to TommyCon in Bali. Everyone at home. And then hold up your mask who'd go to Tommy Con in Bali. Keep your masks up if you want me to keep juggling up here, by the way. My arms are getting tired, but if the people demand it, I'll keep going. So, not that I think less of your fans.

Right. But why would you want to be on vacation and be bothered by dumb, dumb people who fucking harass you on your phone and aren't nice to you online and anywhere? I think the question's pretty clear. Do you want to keep going? They don't seem to like you. Uh-huh. Okay.

So... There's another TBC, I think, there. There's another... I'll confirm that later. Uh-huh. Okay. So. Yeah. And there's another TBC, I think, there. There's another. I'll confirm that later, why I did think that was a good idea. But I think tax deductible is the main thing. Yeah. Yeah.

It's always tax. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's going to be good. You can just say you went over there and did a show and lie. Although no one's going to believe you did a show. No. Unless. Don't say it. You break pajamas. and lie and... Although no one's going to believe you did a show. No. Unless... Don't say it.

You break pyjamas. Don't say it! That's weird. I mean, I've got to be honest with you. I reckon that would be a hook that got people in over there. Like, if you walk down the beach during the day in your pyjamas... Yeah. Return to the pyjamas.

I'm going to get arrested in Thailand if I walk down the street in pyjamas. Oh, yeah, right. Come on. You're the chief of police over there. Yeah, you. No. No. You can't get arrested there.

If you were going to get arrested in Thailand, you would have bought an airplane. Carl Convect. That's a pun on a thing that doesn't exist. So, dum-dum-com. Not sure I understand. So, because my wife doesn't have the job At the airline anymore You've fired

No Just focus on me Not my wife Please I don't believe that she's real So Well Come to day four of Dumb Dumb Con

She's a guest speaker He's busy Oh now that'll get people into car con A speech A speech by Don't Say Her Name. She gets up. She's got a name tag on. You get to learn her name by going over there.

I think we've got it covered up here, actually. I like opening it up. Yeah. Yeah, let's open it up. It's like a good energy. We're in control. Some of us have won awards, okay? We don't need...

We don't need an ad. Just if you don't like what's going on, sit through it. We'll go and see the man dressed as a woman later upstairs, okay? It's going to end well. The man versus the woman, is that what you think a wedding is?

A man dressed as a woman. Oh, right. I thought you said versus. Man versus woman. It sounds like a hell of a buck story. Yeah, that's why you're seating them. Are you rooting for the man or the woman? Over here for versus woman. It sounds like a hell of a buck story. Yeah, that's why you're seating them. Are you rooting for the man or the woman? Over here for the woman.

That's day five of Dum Dum Con. Why are you even calling it that old weird name? Stop trying to make Dum Dum Con happen. Stop using its dead name. That's so Bravo. That's gross, man. We'll cancel you. This is like when a band breaks up and they go on the road for a while

and then all the original members go away and then they still are calling themselves Blue Oyster Cult. You're like, there's no one in Blue Oyster Cult that's from the original Blue Oyster Cult. That's what's happening right now. You're calling yourself Little Dumb Dumb Club. It's a weird... This is the fan

convention. I'm not saying we're all going. The fans, the nearly double figure fans have demanded it. The draw. The likable one of Little Dumb Dumb Club is not going. Yeah, Dave, it's Blue Oyster Cunt. But he

also... Thank God. That would have haunted me for the rest of my life if I hadn't gone that way out. I'd never be able to sleep again. To go on with Dave, Anthony compliment to that. What a great 20 seconds there, Tommy. Finally, something usable. That's awesome.

Because this is a legitimate point. Like, you've invented something there's a niche audience for at the best of times, which is a Little Dum Dum con, which is fine. I'm happy with that idea. But then you're taking it to a place where there's no Little Dum Dum Club fans. You have to take some over. There are two that live on Koh Samui.

Okay. Were you counting in the middle with double figures? No. Are you confident that one of them won't go to Bali for Tommy's? God, I could use a break. For another holiday. We've talked about this. There is a guy that lives there that listens to this show

that lives in Koh Samui and has been to no Koh Samui podcast festivals. Right. Well, Carl Khan's going to shake it up. You're going to see him there. He hates me. He just wants to see the dead weight. He wants to see the other guy. That's also because

I didn't go. Yeah. I would make it out of what swimming trunks are made out of, the pajamas. So then, I just think then people

can just kind of jump in the pool if they want or go in the ocean with you and then lounge about and they'll dry quickly. I mean, if you can afford it,

which you can. Yeah. Is there anything in just picking up a local Tommy for the day? Oh, yes there is, Will. Yes there is. You've got Thai Tommy.

You've got a Thai me. Yeah. Finally I can get Tommy to do something to me he's always refused to do. Respect you. I don't go to CarlCon, but I'm over there the week before auditioning Thai Tommies to

stand, and I'm there for like way longer than I would have been for Carl Conn. It's a rigorous process, but finally I find that little 12-year-old girl who

is ready to step in in place of me, and then I just sit at home. We just get her to deepen her voice a little bit. Boom.

We go. Okay. Very nice. That's happening. On top of that, so my wife doesn't work for the airline anymore. We're locked in. No. Does your wife work for the airline anymore? No, she was fired.

No, she wasn't fired. It's dumb dumb con. Taking the piss with the free family flights I think was the reason for her sacking. Apparently she was great but they lost a lot of money in flights to Thailand. We're going under. It's been a hard two years as it is. Back to Dum Dum Con.

Back to Cal Con. Do you see people dressing up like you? Yes, I do. I do, absolutely. Absolutely, I do. No. No. Yes.

They can if they want, but no. Yeah, but you've got to have a cosplay competition. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You were saying your wife works for an airline. Oh. Presently works for an airline. Used to.

She used to. Before she voluntarily went to another. No. Oh. Went to another business. So she's at the other business now. Okay. What's the business?

It's another one. It's a different thing. It's a different thing. It's not involved in international travel anymore. No, no, no. It's another one. It's a different thing. It's not involved in international travel anymore. No, no, no. It's completely different. What area is it in? What's the address of her work, Dave?

Give that and then we'll move on. It's more something that you would wear. Like pajamas. Yes! No! Fuck! Wow, you're going to save so much. If she has gone into the pajama game, this is.

Carl, you are a true business man. One of the guys who's most scared about COVID up here just spat everywhere at that moment. Imagine getting your wife to quit her airline job so you can get a discount on pajamas. Not even free ones, just a discount. It's going to come in handy, Carl. I want the staff discounts to relaunch my career. But I wear them everywhere. I wear them out so quickly.

I wear them to bed at comedy gigs. Smart. I'm just thrashing these PJs. You should go back into it and just you heifer it up for the rest of your life. Just nothing but pyjamas. He's wearing for Don't Say Her Name Alexander. No, it's not that. It's the new sponsored Peter Alexander comedy. No, it's not that. It's the new sponsored Peter Alexander comedy.

No. It's not that. It's a different item of clothing. Okay. The gap. Sleeping caps. No.

Oh. All right, keep going. I'm sorry. So, she has another job now. Now, she... We're going on this holiday and we're... I mean, sorry,

work thing. Yeah, careful. You're going to Carl Khan. Pretty easy to just call it. How old's your daughter? Wife. Daughter who... I don't want to ask.

But how old's... The English one, not the Thai one. Your daughter, the one who doesn't know the shame that she's going to feel yet. She's three years old. So she can't feel daddy shame. She's going to see the rest of the world.

Oh, fuck yeah. Some day she's going to be like, my daddy's pulled the weirdest shit. My daddy has something called the pajama room. No. No, it would be great for her to explain to her young friends that her dad loves to go to Thailand four times a year.

So we're all going over to work. It's a family trip and a work trip. Oh, blankets being put to work. She's putting on the wristbands on day one. Yeah, selfies with her 500 baht. I tried to talk her down, but that's what she wants. How about people

could buy a blanket blanket? Oh, that's nice. That's nice. We can get all the kids over there slightly older than her to make them. Yeah. I mean, just for fun,

make it the same age. Right? That's the fun. Yeah, yeah. So we're going over. We've got the... She's there for the week. I'm there for,

unbeknownst to her, two weeks. You have the stay with the family and then the sex worker extension. She's there for the week I'm there for Unbeknownst to her Three months Two weeks You have the Stay with the family And then the sex worker extension No it's not a thing There's work But not sex

That's why the pajamas Are so great But keep going It's just elastic It's like Coachella Carl Conn got so big That they had to split it Over two weekends

Yeah Who knew So we're gonna Carl Chela. That's good too. I mean, yeah, Carl Conn maybe was a little short-sighted of us. Carl Chela has a nicer ring to it.

And it's so close to Carl Chandler. It's like, Carl Chandler. Oh, yeah, okay. Alright. Carl Chela. And by the way, on yeah, okay, all right. All right, Coachella. And by the way, on behalf of all... Thank you for pushing us to this point. You fought us and we got a better one, and that's what matters.

Thank you, Carl. Your instincts were actually right. Carl Conn wasn't right. It wasn't good enough. Thank you. Thank you. Carlchella. Goddamn.

So now you have to mock up one of those Coachella-style artist passes. Oh, yeah. Things that are happening over the three days. It's just my name over and over. Yeah, but like different events. Like pay someone in cash shits his pants. Hang on, I'm going to pay someone in cash that's an event? It always is when you do it to me.

Thank you, Carl. in cash, that's an event? It always is when you do it to me. Thank you, Carl. What better way to celebrate the end of the pandemic than by a weird handshake with a note rolled up in it. I mean, can you imagine on one of the days of Carl Cella, he teaches people how to do

that handshake. Oh, yes. Handshake masterclass. How to put the note in your hand, how to kind of slip it in in a discreet way. People could use that in their real life. Okay. The bit

cashes out now. People are not going to use that and people don't want to, you know, these freaks don't even want to touch each other. They're just like,

they're super scared of everything. Why are you talking us out of this? We're trying to help your event. This is all good ideas, man. I don't know why

you're getting mad at people who are trying to help you put on a great event. I'm the guy who told you to wear fucking pajamas the whole time. Fuck you, Carl. I mean, I think you're not even going to have to tell people to wear pajamas now.

I feel like at Carl Cella, people will know. Oh, you're going to wear your pajamas? I think that's fair. Like, have them available. As soon as the sun goes down, everyone changes into their pajamas. Oh, yeah. Oh, night jammies. Yes.

That'll be a tent. Yes, man. I can see it now. Six to eight jammies. Yes. That'll be a tent. Yes. I can see it now. Six to eight people wearing pyjamas. Yeah. Wow. Almost double figures

of pyjamas walking around. By the way, the way he said six to eight confirms that your seven was the cat. Bang on. Bang on.

Plus there's two people that live in Koh Samui that I'm not even counting on yet. Well, you shouldn't because one of them has never come to the show. Yeah. Are you sure this person

lives there? Yeah, he's in prison. 100% of the Koh Samui listeners can come. You're still not cracking double figures yet, unfortunately. They might have relations. You're getting close though. They might have friends. Yeah. I love that

one of the descriptions of your audience is, they might have friends. And even then, you didn't feel convinced. It could be 11 to 12 people. Man. You wait till the pictures come back from Dum Dum Con. Uh-huh. It's going to be spectacular.

Coachella. Yeah. We've moved on from Dum Dum Con. I-huh. It's going to be spectacular. Carlcella. Yeah. We've moved on from Dum Dum Con. I don't even, to be totally fair, I think you confuse people when you say that

because that was like two names ago. Yeah. So help us out. All right. So what's going to happen? One week me, two weeks me,

one week my wife, but she has now got this new job that you may have heard about. Yeah, she makes pajamas. At the airline. No, no. You're both wrong.

Hang on, is she making pajamas for the airlines? Yes. Those fancy pajamas you wear in first class? Is that her new job? She works at Pajama Town.

Am I on crazy pills? I know where you can get some, but I have a very small amount. What's great is you have a list of things you want to talk about. Yeah. Hilarious. Have you ever noticed that when we come on, you never get past the first one? Yeah, I don't get to the first one because fucking pajamas comes up every time.

I'm sorry that I love your early shit. Sorry, Carl. You know who else's early shit I love are all the people in the book that he stole. No, Carl. You know who else is early shit at love are all the people in the book that he stole. No, no. Oh, yeah, I love that on the poster for Carl Celi, you know, when it's like bands will do the thing, it's like playing their seminal album in full. Carl Chandler doing his

seminal 2007 comedy festival show in full, in the pajamas. None of the new shit that you don't like. Here comes the pyjamas. None of the new shit that you don't like. Here comes the pyjama king! I swear I'm going to get this bit out. I've been live readings from funny buggers. So on the poster it could say Hannah Gadsby,

but then in small writing it says Carl Reeds. Yeah. Oh, yes. Because I hear you read, Charlie. I like this. Yeah, okay. This is the one thing I'm writing down. Okay, yes. Because I hear you reach out. Okay, I like this. Yeah, okay. This is the one thing I'm writing down. Okay.

As read by... Hey, look, he can write. I know, I think you'll still find it was another person's idea he wrote down. Oh, right. Sorry, sorry. That's fair. That's just analogue control C, control V, what he's doing. We're just seeing behind the scenes.

Turns out I have contributed to one of his projects. Oh, my God. So, my wife. Yes. So, she is coming for one week. You're like Borat. One week. We can have fun with this

There goes another ten minutes Boys we're on We're on here Let's My wife We should We should give her a name Just so that we have

Like a person to follow PJ PJ Yeah PJ Harvey what's she up to Pajasmine That's good Thank you PJ Harvey what's she up to for Jasmine that's good thank you

write it down cheers there you go look you got two things it's a movement PJ O'Brien what's she got to say for herself

so she so she's going for one week I'm going for two weeks she's in this new job she's been in the new job very short time the new job has all of a sudden pulled out a restructure been in the new job for a very short time. The new job has

all of a sudden pulled out a restructure. She's only been there for a couple of weeks. They're doing a restructure. She's come back to home and gone, you know,

being upset and gone. She's only just started there. There's a big chance they might get... They're doing day pajamas. No. They might be getting rid of her division.

So, if they restructure and get rid of her division, she'll be out of a job as soon as she sort of got there. And she's gotten so upset and so frustrated and so sad about it.

She went, one night she just went, you know what, fuck this. If this happens and I get restructured out of the job, let's just go to Thailand

for two months. Oh boy. That's what she said. Wow. So now my question is, hypothetically, how do you get someone fired? Just if they've got any social events going, I think you just turn up and that'll probably do the job.

Yeah. Just start telling people about the stuff you have planned. That know her and work with her. You've got to poach her. You've got to get her to quit. You've got to offer her a lucrative position on the board of CarlCon. No, don't go to CarlCon. CarlCella.

Sorry, Tommy. I'm not mad at you. Sorry, I forgot myself. CarlCella. Yeah. I imagine if you just rang her boss and you said, I'm Don't Say Her Name's husband, and we're going on a one-week holiday to Thailand,

but in the second week I'm going to do a convention that is kind of a tribute to me. It's called Carl Challa, based on the very famous music festival where people live various aspects of my life. She'll get fired immediately, I imagine. Do you have any video footage of the old pyjama days of you doing stand-up? He does.

Send it to her boss. Just email it anonymously to her boss. I think I know one person that wants it, but I don't think it's the boss. Carl, for different reasons, though. I would just... I think it's obvious. I love the early stuff.

But I think send it and say you want to perform like that at the Christmas party. Oh, yes. Get him in or I won't. Do you wear underwear under the pajamas? No, you're not this time. I did. That's why I stopped doing it,

because it got too hot. Your crotch? The pajamas were too hot. Are you saying your crotch got too hot? No, all of me got too hot. Why did you specifically say that? I said, did you wear underwear? You said, that's why I stopped doing it.

It got too hot. So that would make one assume. Wearing too much stuff underneath it and over the top of it. You were stuffing your crotch. No. I didn't get too hot because I was... Whatever the fuck that is. Because I was just putting a jumper down my pants.

Sorry? What's going on? Yeah. I don't know what's going on. This is why we can't stop talking about Carl Cella. It gets weird and nobody's involved. This is like 4am at Carl Cella where there's some avant-garde bullshit on that we don't really know what's... We're like, what the fuck? What is this?

And then if you do do the Coachella style, then if the guests don't show up, you can just have a hologram. Oh, you can have a Dave hologram. What the fuck is up, Carl Cella? But you've bought the hologram from a shit market down the street, so it doesn't work properly.

There's someone walking in front of the hologram. It could be of your one Thai fan. Two. Oh, sorry. Well, the one that won't attend any event. Does the guy in prison count? No, he's not in prison. He works in a bar.

Behind it. Yeah, behind a bar. No, no, no. Here we go. How do you know that he's a fan who works in a bar if he's never been to the festival? I've talked to him

on Facebook. Oh, hello. Everyone on there is real, Dave. Fuck off. Keep going, Carl. So you're getting catfished. As I was saying that,

I'm like, is he real? Carl, I have a really amazing update. This is literally like every episode of Catfish. Yes, it is.

No, honestly, he's a real big fan. Coalfish. Coalfish. Coalfish. You got Coalfished. Yeah, yeah, great. Yeah, just come to my bar during the festival.

Hey, my bar is shut. By the way, I'd like to introduce you to your Thai fan right here. Now that I'm saying this out loud, I've just realized I know the bar he works at. It's like 300 meters away from the Coastal New Podcast Festival. He was always too busy to come. He's not real. He got car fished. So you probably lost that

$1,500 you sent him as a deposit on the bar. Yeah. Now I've got six to eight people confirmed from here and one to one people confirmed from Tyler. Who's the second fan who lives there? Just a guy who messaged me again. Just a guy who messaged me. And he's never been to the festival

either? He's busy with the other guy, asshole. Someone's got to watch the other guy not go. So you have these big fans who follow you on Facebook and reach out to contact you, but when you fly to their island to do a show like 500 yards away from where

they work and live, they don't come? That's correct. Because they're busy for the whole festival. In their defense, they were originally from Adelaide, so that's just how they booked it. Costa Mula is the Adelaide of Thailand. That's why.

That's why. Are they friends? Do you know if they've ever hung out? I don't know a lot about them, I'll be honest. I'm starting to realise that now. I thought I knew a little bit and now I don't know. You're just asking them mostly stuff about what's the beer taste like today. You're not really getting into the big idea. What size PJs are you? So a couple of guys on Facebook

of fans of a podcast that love to fuck with you, have said they're from the island on which you do a festival, but they've never gone to it. I'm just going to make plans to downsize this festival. I'm not going to cater for 9 to 11. It might be 7 to 8 now. I think even the people who have confirmed from here

are starting to rethink their choices now actually the back row is just mannequins that's a good idea yeah you can use it no no no my idea my idea is dummies. And the people who have...

The people who have... The people who have confirmed... Well done, sir. Well done. No, it's my idea. That's right. You really put your own shine on it, Carl. The people who have confirmed

that they're going to go with you on a family vacation so you can have a write-off have done it how? Yeah, how would they confirm to you that they're going to come? Oh, boy. On Facebook. And how did those Rick and Morty profile pictures tell you what words did they use? When did these people join Facebook? Was it in the last six months?

join Facebook. Was it in the last six months? Now, I'm not saying that a bunch of people should go on Facebook and confirm. I am. But I am. Well, I'm going to roll out the graphics in the next week and

maybe I'll make it, people have to put a deposit now instead of me putting it all up front. Who are they, why are they putting a deposit down what are you doing pajama rental for them the pajamas

there he is oh finally he's come around yeah now that it's financial he's fine with the pajamas yeah

now that he needs real humans to go instead of fucking bots your daughter's first memory is you just putting pyjamas on dummies. Alright, we're ready for Thailand. Daddy's off to do his show.

Daddy's going to Thailand again. While whipping her going so faster. Hurry up. People are about to turn up. I'm going to register dum-dum con 22. Carl Chella. By the way, I'm going to register Dumb Dumb Con 22. Carl Cella. Carl Cella.

Carl Cella. By the way, I'm going to register that right after this. No. Yeah, it's mine, motherfucker. Carl Cella, I'll leave alone. No.

Fuck. You can have that one. All right. So can I ask you what's going on in your marriage? I think that's enough of a question. So just from a, just sort of parsing this out,

so you're married to a wonderful woman, and you have a three-year-old, a lovely daughter, and what your wife would like is to go to Thailand and then come back without you for a whole week, which would maybe be her vacation? I bet she's those Thai people on Facebook. I mean, if it turns out she's been the one catfishing you into getting you to Thailand all the time

because she's like, I cannot fucking stand it. It logs into Facebook. Anyway, we're very desperate for another podcast. Yeah, mate, you can sleep in the spare room. I'll make up a bed for you. Great. Okay, so that's launched. We need to get the fuck

out of this room. Oh, yeah, we really do. Sorry. Carl Chella, it's going to go off. A big round of applause. Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, Will Anderson.

Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. And they've done it again. Oh, shit. Had to clear my throat just to get that important information out. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

It's happened. They've done it again. They have done it again. Bernie has kicked a big one. Bernie's kicked a big mask. Yes. I have done it again. Bernie has kicked a big one.

Bernie's kicked a big mask. Yes. Well, look, Bernie will be kicking a big one in Tasmania when we do this show on April the 30th down there because Bernie is a town down there. So Bernie will be having one kicked from that town to Hobart. Bernie's kicked a big Josh Earl. Yes. Where he's from. Yes.

But this episode. To be clear, we won't be going anywhere near Bernie. Yes. Where he's from. Yes. But this episode. But to be clear, we won't be going anywhere near Burnie. No. Don't inspire people to be like, yeah, why don't you come do the pod in Burnie? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Because there is a town in New South Wales called Dum Dum that every six months someone goes, you should do a gig in this town. And it's like, cool. Are you going to come? No. Yeah. Okay. And that sounds like in terms of content to be up there with the mask bit from this episode. Like, yeah. Big joke. Yeah. Guess where we are, guys? Yeah. Okay. Good suggestion. And that sounds like, in terms of content, it'd be up there with the mask bit from this

episode. Like, big joke. Yeah. Guess where we are, guys? Yeah. A town that's got the same name. What a great- The end.

Yep. And we're in front of four people. Yeah. Great. Are you liking this at home? Yeah. Because we're hating it here. Because we could have just said we did it here.

Yep. But instead, we've wasted our fucking day. Yep. There's not that much here. There's nothing to do. There's nothing that we did it here. Yep. Instead, we've wasted our fucking day. Yep. There's not that much here. There's nothing to do. There's nothing that funny about the town. Yep. But we're here and we're bombing.

We've dragged three mates along to share in the shit times. Certainly glad we listened to those two tweets over the space of five years demanding that we do it. But, great episode. Thank you very much to Will and the boys from the Dollop for doing that episode. Heaps of fun. I don't know if I got around to announcing it on the episode itself, but Dum Dum Con 22. Carl Cella.

Dum Dum Con 22. Carl Cella. Carl Cella 22. June 18, 2022. But anyone doubting this is going to be a thing, like I said, between six and eight people will be there at the moment. This is before the launch. So it's probably seven to nine people by now already. By the time this has come out.

You'd be approaching the doubles. I'm mildly confident of getting to double figures just at this point. And probably 50% of the people, of the listeners that live in Koh Samui, I reckon I can bank on. I'm sceptical about that. Well, I'm optimistic. Yeah.

You've got to have hope. I'm the organiser. I can't be launching this thing and going immediately, this sucks. No one's coming. None of these, 100% of these people

are going to stay home and home being next door to the venue. Yeah. We're actually doing the Dum Dum Con at their bar and then they've just left it.

Well, you know what it's like. I mean, you look at the numbers for any podcast that you do and you can break it down geographically and see by city and you go, you think you sell pretty well but then you look at the number

of people in the city that are actually listening and you go, you think you sell pretty well, but then you look at the number of people in the city that are actually listening, and you go, that's appalling numbers relative to the number of people in this city that listen to this show every week. That's nothing. That's a pittance. Like I said on this episode at the start, the girl that walks up and goes,

I've been listening to you all my life, gives me a beer, then leaves the venue 20 minutes before our show starts. Yep, yep, yep. It's classic. Yep, yep. Very funny. But I'll add that it'll be on the socials. You know, that was the soft launch.

On this episode, I'll put the hard launch up on the socials. It'll be added to the website, to littledunhamclub.com.au. It's going to be massive in comparison to things that only have one to two people yeah it's going to be huge it's going to be three to four times double that yeah three to four times nearly double that with four people yeah so um look the schedule the schedule will be out there you know we've still got a couple of months so um yeah the full schedule has been locked locked in because obviously there's a you know it's a logistical nightmare organizing something as big as this.

So details will be out there, but put that in the diary, guys. I know we have two lists in Koh Samui, but this is out there to the lists we may have in Koh Pen Yung and in Koh Tao. It's not too far away, guys. Anyone in the Surat Thani district? Hey, what about the mainland? Well, that's what I meant.

That's what I meant. Surat Thani, that's sort of to the side of it. You can get the ferry from there over there. If you're in the Surat Thani district, that might be for you. If you're a Bangkok listener and you want to take the 12-hour train down to Surat Thani and then catch the ferry over, do that as well. Why aren't they just flying? Well, it's about $12 to do that,

whereas I think it's more like $200 to fly. So that's probably why. So you can save money for the Dunbam Con 22 merchandise. Oh, right. What's going to be there? TBC. Okay. Can't let all of the stallions out of the range.

Yeah, sure, sure, sure. We're still technically soft launch at this point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't let all the stallions out of the ranch yeah sure sure sure especially when you don't even technically soft launch at this point yeah yeah yeah can't let all the stallions out when officially you don't really know what stallions are

so yeah yep oh there'll be oh don't worry there'll be no stallions at this event so exciting news guys in the diary

June 18 well for those of you staying home you can always get on to the Little Dumb Dumb Club Patreon where the fun comes to you patreon.com slash little dumb dumb club Well, for those of you staying home, you can always get onto the Little Dumb Dumb Club Patreon, where the fun comes to you.

Patreon.com slash Little Dumb Dumb Club. You get two bonus mini episodes every week delivered direct to you Mondays and Fridays. Great guests. Little bite-sized chunks of the show that are always a lot of fun. And perhaps more importantly than that, you go into the draw to get your name read out and immortalized on an episode of The Little Dum Dum Club. And perhaps this week, it's going to be you. Yes.

Now, we're in the mood to read out Patreon subscriber names because we've delayed recording this for a little while. Whilst I've employed a Patreon subscriber to do a job for me, and I just got the venue ringing me complaining that he wasn't there yet. So, shout out to that Patreon subscriber out there. He was looking for a park. You know who you are. Causing me unduly to be stressed more than I need to be on a Sunday afternoon. So shout out to you. It's the Lord's Day.

I looked him up and he's been subscribing for five years. So I'm like, I'm just going to have to let him off on this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He would be copying two barrels right now and before now if that wasn't the case. Well, you know, he's been paying... So being a Patreon subscriber,

it's like insurance. Yeah, he's been paying you for five years and then you've given him a little bit of money back to do a job for you. Yes. So it's, you know,

this is like money laundering. Yeah. Actually, how much has he put in over the years? Because I've now... I'm now paying him, you know, a decent little chunk

to do a couple of jobs. I wonder if we're even. Are we even yet? Let's have a look. That's pretty amazing if it's just evened out. Oh, I'll tell you what. I think- Not far off?

No, I think I've- You're in the red. Yes. Maybe I can tee off on him. I've now paid him more than he's paid me. And plus, here's the amount. You've got to split that because that's between me and you. Right, so it's only half of what you're looking at right now.

Yeah. Okay. So, fuck, no. I've paid him more than he's paid me now. Okay. I'm a Tom Ray Patreon subscriber. That's the name of this bloke. Shout out to Tom Ray.

So you think every person's boss is their Patreon subscriber? Yes. All right. Well, let's break open the UTA and let's get a few names fired out here on this beautiful Sunday afternoon. A few people who I may employ in the future. Yeah. Yeah. Potential employees of me.

This is like a job interview. Yeah. I could get these guys to come over and do a bit of admin for Dumb Dumb Con 22. Carl Scheller. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. First cab off the rank this week. Thank you too. Listener Katrina Rolls.

Katrina Rolls. R-O-L-L-S. That's brutal. Why is it brutal? Well, there's a connotation there with being overweight. Okay. That I imagine, as with a lot of these names that we read out at a certain age, once people are picking up on that, I imagine you're having a pretty tough time. you're having a pretty tough time.

Well, let's have a look. Especially if at that point in time, let's say 14, 15, if you did happen to be a little bit overweight, I imagine it would have been a very difficult time for you. Well, let's have a look. Let's have a look and see if she's overweight. How big this broad is. Oh, no, it's hard to tell.

Hard to tell? Okay. Well, there's a few of them. Oh, okay. So's hard to tell. Hard to tell? Okay. Well, there's a few of them. Oh, okay. There's a few of them, so who knows which ones. But what would you say is like the median weight of all the Katrina Rolls that you can see on Facebook? God. Generally speaking, just as a bit of a snapshot of just scrolling through

all the, you know, just their main profile pics of all of them, what would you say? Generally speaking, kind of average or yep yep it's looking like that of the of the small sample size that i've just glanced through yep looking looking fine i don't think anyone's having a cop it too much okay i think we're all good here all right all right so um maybe well maybe that's that's the inspiration if you've got a name like that it's's like, fuck, I better shape up. I better keep myself trim because I don't want to cop this.

It's sitting right there for everyone to frame. Yeah, if my name was Tommy Obese. Yes. You're right. The Irish comedian, Tommy Obese. Tommy Obese, yeah. I really would be working way harder than I do to maintain, to keep my weight. I dare say I'd have an eating. You'd have anorexia. Looking way harder than I do to maintain, to keep my weight as... I would...

I dare say I'd have an eating... You'd have anorexia. You'd be like, I cannot... I cannot let myself have even a shred of fat on my body or it's curtains. Yes. Tommy Fat Guts. No, you don't. You don't want to...

You don't want to let anyone in. Do you think it'd go the other way where it's like if your name was Carl Skinny, you'd be like, I'd better make sure I'm really fat. Well, it would, yeah. I think that's funny because the idea of someone being really skinny and going, I have to change this. Why? Because of my name.

Yeah, yeah. But is it more annoying to have people point out like, oh, you're skinny like your name? Or to point out, oh, you're not like your name at all. Well, one way or the other, you're going to cop it. So which is more annoying? Well, that reminds me of this.

I thought this was sort of funny. If you listen to last week's episode where we had Akmal, Harley Brain, Guy Montgomery, there's a point in the show where Akmal says to Harley, or says about Harley, oh, you know, look at Harley. He's too good-looking to be a comedian.

And then Harley goes, yeah, your face is like a fucking busted asshole. And then we all go, oh, okay. And Akmal goes, uh, what? He sort of doesn't really know what's going on. And most people laugh or whatever. It's just like, oh, it's a funny thing to say. But afterwards, I did say to Harley, what was that about? And he was like,

oh, Akmal being a cunt, you know, saying to me, you know, he's too good looking. I'm like, you realise that's not an insult, don't you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like... Well, I can see why Harley took it that way because it's like, you're too good looking to be a comedian implying like, you're not good at comedy because you're good looking.

Well, no, I don't think, I don't think it was put that way. I can't remember the exact phrasing, but it was certainly... No, but I'm saying I can see, I think Harley took it that way. Yes, no, I don't think it was put that way. I can't remember the exact phrasing. No, but I'm saying I can see, I think Harley took it that way. Yes, no, no, he definitely did take it that way. But it wasn't said in that way or in those words. Hey, but in the same way, Harley's intention with what he said,

hey, what's wrong with being a busted arsehole? Anal's great. Yeah. But I said to him... What's wrong with being an asshole that's been absolutely plowed to within an inch of its life someone's had a good time there yeah that's a compliment yeah you might want to be the the fucker rather than the fuck either maybe that's it um but yeah he was he was like yeah you fucking did that i've copped that all my life and i'm like must be nice yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sorry, mate. The curse of being hot. Yeah, yeah. God, you must have been in therapy for years over that one. Yeah. But I do. I mean, I have heard that from other people, though, who are like, you know, our friends in comedy who are good looking. And they get a bit of like, oh, well, of course, you're on TV because you're attractive. And again, the implication there, if you want to take it that way, is that you're not getting on TV because you're funny.

You're getting on TV just because of how you look. But then, of course, the flip side to that is like, hey, better than not being on TV at all. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, it's a real whatever above first world problems is. Yes. Whatever the zero world problems.

Zero world problems. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow, the zero world. Zero world problems. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow, the zero world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's the world we're not allowed in. That's the, that's like the CEOs

and like the, you know, the elite underground pedophile rings. Zero world problems. Oh, this four-year-old didn't suck me on properly. Yes, exactly.

Zero world problems. Yeah. This three-year-old didn't dig a hole deep enough in the ground. I could get down there and hide and fuck it. Me and all my lizard king friends couldn't ejaculate on this little boy. Zero world problems.

The front from my pedophile ring doesn't cook great pizza. That's pretty average. Zero world problems. Oh, well, thanks, Katrina. Thanks, Katrina Rolls. Thanks, Katrina Rolls. Thanks, Rollsy. Thanks, Rolls Roy Thanks, Katrina Rolls. Thanks, Rollsy. Thanks, Rolls Royce.

The Rolls Royce of Patreon subscribers. That's it. She would absolutely turn up on time for a job, I would say. She would rolls in in time instead of someone else, potentially, that subscribes to this A shit car that's not renowned for being of high quality. Yes, that's right. A shit car. Thank you very's right. Old shit car. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Holland Lawrence.

I thought you were going to say Holland Days. No, that would be a good time of the year. I haven't had a bit of Holland Days in a while. I have it constantly. Yeah. I went through a real run there. I can't remember the last time. Always got a couple in the fridge or cupboard.

But this is H-O-L-L-A-N-D-E. So I'm hoping it's Holland. Or is it Hollanday? Hmm. Holland. I'm going to just go with Holland Lawrence. Holland Lawrence. Now, this struck my eye in that it rang a bell in that on Instagram,

I double-checked and I was correct. One of my, one of my favorite followers of the Dum Dum account, every time she comments or anything, I love it because her, her, her, um, Insta, Insta tag is DJ Baby Knees. Yep. Okay. DJ Baby Knees. Yep. So whenever she comments, I just reply DJ Baby Knees. Yep. Cause whenever she comments, I just reply, DJ Baby Knees.

Yep. Because it's just a great name. Is it a reference to something? No idea, and I hope it's not. There's another person of that ilk who I believe is a Dumb Dumb listener who, similar thing when I see them pop up as a reply or a comment or something, fills me with joy. A person called Piss Lord.

Yeah, I've seen that too. thing fills me with joy um a person called piss lord who i was surprised to find out is a is a young lady i i thought old bloke for some reason that's made me remember another follower of ours on instagram that pops up that i have double checked maybe four times to see if it's really them with the with the handle at the real Daryl Summers. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, that's a good one. There's some good ones out there. There's some good usernames out there.

I've checked four times to make sure the actual Daryl Summers doesn't follow us. That is the annoying thing about being in a public-facing thing where you feel an obligation to make your social media handles as close to like your actual name as possible for people to be able to find you because yeah you you immediately that separates everyone because these people that we're talking about they've never left the beautiful world of being 14 years old and setting up a hotmail address and being able to

give it some fucking ridiculous name you know whereas anyone in college it's like at a certain point you gotta go at carl chandler but like yeah never having to let go of that and just just still being able to have at um at ronald mcdonald's asshole on twitter like yeah fucking it'd be good dj baby knees just a profile pic that's unrelated that's not of you it's just some funny shit that you've seen that's see that's the thing you look forward to once you step out of public life you know once you once you inevitably you know get all over the socials and proclaim to everyone once you have a half half bad comedy festival season when you go i'm retiring from comedy everyone yeah i'm retiring and then you start blaming everyone who's at fault for that. Yeah. That's not you. Yeah. Then you get to slip out of public life and get to go back to that life and have some weird random picture of someone's ass as your avatar.

Yeah, maybe I'll start the burner account and just kind of start doing the work on it. Transition. When I do lose my mind and quit comedy, it's just there ready to go. You know, it's already got all the accounts I want to follow. It's got all my friends on it. I've got my little close friends list for the little green circle story that you can do.

Just to make that transition as easy as possible for myself. And just to make it really, really tempting when I am on the edge. Because at the moment, that's the only thing that's keeping me away from doing that is the idea that I would have to start all the social medias again. But if they were ready to go, I reckon i probably would have done it two weeks ago i'd be out i'd be on my way to my new life as yeah as uh as at grimace blowjob this is so this is like the social media equivalent of like at the end of breaking bad when there's that guy there that you know that's that's moving everyone to Alaska with new identities.

Yeah, the vacuum cleaner salesman. Yes, yes, yes, exactly. Actually, that is a great idea for a service. We set that up for you. We set up, we get the burner account popping, we go onto your page and we transfer the stuff that you're just going to want to see when you're out of the business. So we just follow the recipe accounts and the cool illustration accounts.

We leave all the comedians and all the showbiz stuff behind. But we do all that for you for a fee. Give you the login and then you hit the button. You tell us you're out. We delete the main account. We transfer you over. We're the Robert Forster. That was over. We're the Robert Forster. That was his name.

Robert Forster. Well, thanks, Holland Days. Yeah, thanks. Thanks, Holland Days. Thanks, at Holland Days. Thanks, DJ Baby Knees. You know what I might do in Tasmania? I might hunt down a bit of Holland Days in the sense that I'll be on a little holiday,

go out for a nice little brekkie. A holiday Holland Days. Yeah, I think that's why I haven't had hollandaise for a while i'm not i'm not regularly don't have it in the fridge and not really going out for brekkie at all yeah right no i have it with everything i have a steak i just never i've just never been able to quite get around the um the jar the jar brand oh really yeah i think we've talked about this before i've just never found it as good as the stuff that you get out. Oh, really? I've never been able to find a brand at the supermarket that does it for me in the same way. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Oh, I love that brand. Whatever. We've talked about it years ago and then people started bringing them to gigs. Yeah. I can never remember the name of it. It's got black lid. Yeah.

What the fuck those ones are? Maybe it's just called black lid. Yeah. It's good. I don't know what you're finding wrong with that. It's good. I don't know what you're finding wrong with that. It's good. I don't dislike it. It just tastes different to me.

Right. Like, I don't dislike it. It's not mentally ticking the box that a cafe hollandaise does. What are you going to do in Tasmania? Because, like, you know, we don't have forever down there. I've confirmed just before that my wife and Joel are coming down. They're coming to the show. Okay.

Because a friend that she's meeting up with wants to come to the show. So that's happening. And then I don't know what we're doing for dinner. Okay. We are going on Thursday night. Oh. I'm going to drive to pick up my girlfriend from work. And then we're going to go straight to the airport.

Friday, we're going to go to Mona. Oh, yeah. This is ill-advised. Just giving out my whole itinerary. Friday, we're going to go to Mona. Oh, yeah. This is ill-advised. Just giving out my whole itinerary. Hey, look. Get murdered in the fucking vagina room at Mona. What a way to go out. I've looked at the tickets to Australia Geek.

I don't think there's too many. Okay. Super obsessed with us over there. Yeah, so Friday, Mona. Saturday, the pod. Sunday, not too sure. Got my show at night, so maybe just pod around the pod. Sunday, not too sure. Got my show at night, so maybe just pod around the town.

Maybe catch up with a friend of my girlfriend's that's a big part of her coming down. And then Monday, I don't know, maybe a little getaway. We might hire a car, drive somewhere else, stay there for the night and then fly back Tuesday. Nice. We're just down there for 36 hours. Should have gone longer. I don't know why we did that. Nice. We're just down there for 36 hours. Should have gone longer. I don't know why we did that.

Anyway. Yeah. I think my wife and child will be coming down to watch me do a podcast and that's about it. And then straight back on. Yeah. Beautiful stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I think the highlight's going to be get down there, they can go out for lunch, then come to the pod, then dinner. Yep. Then it's all to be get down there. They can go out for lunch. Then come to the pod. Mm-hmm. Then dinner. Yep.

Then it's all over with a young child. Then that's it. You can go home. Yep. Probably get up, well, if it's anything like today, get up at 5 o'clock in the morning and find something to do for about five hours and then go home. Yep. So it'll be all right.

Okay. I'm looking forward to a night flight. We're flying at 7.30 at night. Get in at 8.30. I love it. End of the day flight. Get in late. Have a little drink.

Have a little nightcap. Go to bed. Get up. Got the whole day tomorrow. Feels good. I'm looking forward to Saturday night. Maybe having a drink or something afterwards. Like finding somewhere to go.

Unlike last time where we went to the worst fucking place. Let us know, Tasmania. What's a good place to go to in Hobart? Let us know. Yeah, maybe the bar we're going to be at will be fine. I don't know. I have no idea. We're at the uni bar.

So on a Saturday. Yeah. Would that be good? We can pretend it. We can find some sexy co-eds after the gig. I am genuinely really looking forward to Mona. Never been. Always just gone in and out of Tassie for a gig. Never had looking forward to Mona. Never been. Always just gone in and out of Tassie for a gig.

Never had the time to go. So Mona's an art gallery in Tasmania. The Museum of New Art. Right. I believe. Yeah. Probably wrong. But yeah, looking forward to it.

And you know what? I'm looking forward to seeing one of the greatest artworks of the modern age. Our friend Tom Ballard. Oh, of course. Right. I was thinking, hang on, what? He's at Mona. Our friend Tom Ballard. Oh, of course. Right. I was thinking, hang on, what? He's at Mona.

Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Sorry, but I mean, I don't want to speak out. He's got a residency in there. I don't believe Tom Ballard's ever been in anyone called Mona. Oh, not bad. You know what I'm saying? Not bad. Tom, let us know.

What's the closest you've been to being in someone called Mona? Ring us. Thanks, DJ Baby Knees. Thanks, DJ. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Az Dastyari. Okay. What's going on here? So, I believe...

So, look, friend of the show, Sam Dastyari. Haven't heard from him for a while. Yeah. Anyone's really heard from him for a while. Yeah. I don't think anyone's really heard from him for a while. Now, he's on the Burner account now. Oh, he's on the Finster. He's gone full-time onto the Finster. The Forster.

Yeah. Yeah, the Robert Forster. Yeah, he's got the vacuum salesman lined up a couple of years back. And he's up in Alaska gutting salmon or something. Maybe he's one of these accounts that we're talking about. Maybe he's Piss Lord or... Maybe he's DJ Baby News. Maybe he's the of these accounts that we're talking about maybe he's piss lord or maybe he's DJ Babynese maybe he's the real

Daryl Summers yeah he gone but I believe this is a relation and not what makes you think that no because

it just it just rings a bell I'm pretty sure I know what you mean yeah that name the first name I mean is is familiar well I'm pretty sure. I know what you mean. Yeah, that name, the first name I mean is familiar. Well, I'm pretty sure I vaguely remember him being like, oh, my sister's into this or something like that.

Right. Her relation was into it, is into the pod. So, well, as Das Jari, let us know if that is the case. Whatever happened to your bro? We haven't heard from him for a while. Yeah. He was on here a few times, did a live show. He was in the news. He was in the news. Yeah. I don't know. I don't heard from him for a while. Yeah. He was on here a few times. Did a live show. He was in the news.

He was in the news. I don't know what happened there. Didn't really, never really understood what happened there, to be honest. One of those ones where one of those ones where if he was a Liberal Minister, I think he would absolutely still be in the job.

Yeah, yeah. You get the... That is the beautiful gift of being on that side of politics. You get the... You're able to just fucking ignore it. Yes. Anything... Literally anything bad that gets said about you,

no one in the party is going to make you do anything that you don't want to do. Yeah. Well, if you're on the left side of things, it's like you get caught out for being a bit of a cunt. You go, sorry, everyone, and you have to quit. But if you're on the right side of things and you get caught you get caught out for being a bit of a cunt. You go, sorry, everyone, and you have to quit. But if you're on the right side of things and you get caught out for being a cunt, you get to go, no shit, we're cunts. Yeah.

That's what we do. Yeah. Why we quit from the job that we have just nailed. Yeah. So, yeah, sorry about that, Sam. If you had been on the right side of things, you would be prime minister by now. Well, maybe that's what he's working on. Oh.

Maybe he's going to reemerge. He's transitioning. On the other side of things, you would be Prime Minister by now. Well, maybe that's what he's working on. Maybe he's going to re-emerge on the other side of politics. He's doing the old, what's that fucking cunt's name? The one that bashed the taxi driver? Oh, Latham? Latham. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doing a Latham. Nearly became Prime Minister as a left

side of things politician and then has gone extremely far right. Done a full fucking fall out of a window onto his head trick. Yeah. On Sky News and shit, isn't he? Yeah. He's One Nation. Ah, right. A genuine crazy person. I bumped into someone

the other day who I know who I hadn't seen for a while and I'm wondering if I should say this. I was like, oh, he's like, what have you been up to? I'm like, oh, I'm just on my way to do my show at the festival. It it's been you know a bit of a weird year but it's been fine what are you up to and he's like i've been doing this work for um pauline hansen all right anyway i better uh yeah i'm gonna get going yeah wow yeah it was because i like this guy and i was and literally i was like running late to the thing I was going to. And I was just like, I mean, I've got a lot of questions.

Yeah. How well do you know this guy? I worked on something with him many years ago. And it was a thing that we worked on together quite closely for. Did you have a threesome? Many months. Yes. Yeah.

A four month long threesome. A big tantric threesome where we months. Yes. Yeah, a four-month-long threesome. A big tantric threesome where we tried to break the Guinness World Record. You and Sting. For menage a trois. Was Sting the person? Sting's working for One Nation. Right. Yeah.

Yep. But yeah, I've run into him here and there every now and then. So we worked on a thing together where we got close. We were really tight when we were doing this thing. but we don't really stay in contact all that often but yeah i was just like and he was a bit like uh you know it's just a paycheck and i was like yeah i mean you know i can accept people like doing an ad for something that they don't fully believe in but that's a i mean you know doing work for a really bad political party is like that's a i don't know i don't know that i can

mentally i don't know i mean it's certainly not something like i'd say yes to an ad for something that i've you know like i've auditioned for sports bed and stuff and i i can understand people's ethical objections to that but i don't necessarily share it especially at points where you know you're in the arts and it's a paycheck and it means you don't have to stress for a couple of months why not do it i don't begrudge that kind of stuff but yeah if i got asked to do like to make ads or do something for one nation yeah i i couldn't do it there's just no way yeah so i don't know i don't know man i hope i run into this guy again. I can get into the nitty gritty of it with him. Do I know this guy? Uh, no,

no, damn. Um, well, so it wasn't, it wasn't, um, Mark Latham that you're talking about. No,

no. You didn't work on anything with Mark Latham? No. Okay. Oh, I was, I was in the, I was in the taxi helping him bash the driver.

Right. For four months. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a long term project that we had. helping him bash the driver. Oh, right. For four months. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a long-term project that we had. It was a big driver. It was hard to take him down. Right.

You were driving, like, across the Nullarbor. Right. Yeah. Okay. Makes sense. Just beating a cabbie. A, getting a cabbie to drive you across the Nullarbor, and B, you're bashing him for the entire drive.

Well, thanks, Az. Az Dastyari. Yeah, let us know. Yeah, let us know what your bro's up to. Yeah, let us know if you're in the group or anything like that, in the millionaire group, in the millionaire club, which, of course, you gain access to. Oh, my God, you get so many features in there.

It's unbelievable. I'm just having a God, you get so many features in there. It's unbelievable. I'm just having a quick look to see if As is in there. Let's have a look. Yes, As is in there. Okay. And I am going to say there is very, very, very little detail I can find here. I can't even click on the picture.

Okay. Private account. Yeah, very private. Locked down. Very private. Not at all. That the picture. Okay. Private account. Yeah, very private. Locked down. Very private. Not at all. That's a fucking hell of a move.

Been in there. No comments, no nothing in the group ever. Just a lurker. I don't mind that at all. Yeah.

Yeah. Nice not to have everyone. Everyone is a complete big mouth. Thanks, Az. You do much lurking online?

It's more of a thing of back in the day. But, like, did you have any forums that you would, like, look at stuff on but not contribute? Were you a contributor or were you just a... Yeah, I do it now. I'm in Facebook groups where I don't contribute because I'm like, what have I got to fucking say about this stuff? Yeah, yeah.

I just see the news and stuff that comes up. Yeah. Don't need to fucking... You know, I'm in Liverpool groups and stuff like that where people are like, oh, this is what I think. I'm like, I don't give a fuck what you think.

And I don't give a fuck what I think either. I used to lurk in a few forums back in the day and I always, I always appreciated the people that posted a lot that kind of like

kept the news generated in there about whatever the specific like niche interest was. And I always enjoyed reading the like discussion from those. And you know, you sort of get to know, it's like, oh, this i always enjoyed reading the like discussion from those and you know you sort of get to know it's like oh this guy always has good takes but i would also be like what kind of mind is this that's just basing their whole identity around posting on this jamiroquai forum yeah i got added to a to a new group chat the other day it was like an old mate

has put me in a liverpool group chat and i'm like I don't know any of the other people in the group chat. Right. And it's just them putting their, all these people putting their opinions out there about, about the games and stuff. And I'm like, I don't give a fuck about any of this. Right, right. I don't want to be in there. But the guy keeps going, no, no, you got to get to know these guys.

We'll go and watch games with them and stuff. I'm like, I don't want to do that either. All these people like stuff. I just don't care about someone else's opinion about sport it's like right i'll watch it and i'll enjoy it and i'll see the score and i'll read interviews and stuff like that but in terms of people that are as dumb as me going this is what i think about yeah yeah yeah no no need for that yeah yeah i've got my own dumb opinions and like here's what they should do here's what like people getting into like being the fucking coaches and the managers and stuff yeah you know eight

hours later people going you know did you see the score it's like yes cunt yeah i watched it that's what i liked about like the only like the two forums that i used to lurk in a lot when i was a teenager one was a jamiroquai forum and one was a Futurama forum and there was very little like there's no real room in there to go like here's what Jamiroquai should be doing it would just be like oh the new song they've done it again

you know what it's just like everyone's on the same page of just being like obsessively positive about this band because it's like we've come to it because it's like hey everyone else in our lives

thinks we're fucking big dorks for liking this band but here we're safe yeah have you ever done that with um like well jimmy rickard would be a good example where you join a forum or something like that and and then you know at the peak of their success it's like look at all these posts every day oh yeah crazy and as years go by you just check in less and less gradually and you realize everyone else is the same as you and they're checking in less and less gradually and you realize everyone else is the same as you and they're checking in less and less gradually all of a sudden you're looking at a forum going oh there's

been a post in here once every six months or whatever it's like yeah this is not good for this band there used to be a site that i checked regularly that yeah it you know when they're on tour and they're doing stuff like yeah at their peak posts every day yeah it would be like the one of the first sites i would check every morning and then i checked it the other day out of interest and it was like the most recent thing on there was about the fact that jk had put up a video saying that that wasn't him in the buffalo hat storming the capitol hill yeah and then the the post after that was from like yeah three years ago they'd announced like a best of compilation or something like that. It was like, boy, the webmasters are really getting up every day

being like, nothing to put on here? It's like, it's amazing that you haven't just let the dot-com lapse at that point. You're still bothering to like still maintain the website and pay for it and all that stuff. I can't wait for that to happen to the people aware of the little dum-dum club. Facebook group one day where it's just, you know, a bit of spam in there once every three months and that's it. Just tumble words. Thanks, Azdasyari.

Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Mark Natoli. Mark Natoli. Notorious Natoli. Is that what they call him? Is that what they say? Maybe. Taking a punt. Could be.

I wouldn't bet on it. Mark Natoli. He's one of the people keeping the forums alive. Is he? He's active on the socials for sure, yeah. I see that name a lot. I've seen that name. Big Natty.

Big juicy Natty. Mark Big Natty. Mark my words. Those are big Natties. Mark Big Natty. Mark my words. Those are Big Natties. Fellow Italian. Heritage, I assume. Oh, you know what? Speaking of Big Natties, there's a podcast called Big Natural Talents.

The two girls who do that have been down here at the comedy festival. One of them, Conchetta, was on after me every night in my venue. Right. Solo show. Yes. I was talking to her the other night and she used to work at Giant Dwarf in Sydney. She worked there when we did our shows there. Oh.

She worked behind the bar. Okay. And she was like, the stuff that we found left behind after those gigs was like nothing else. Just like full bottles of wine that people had brought in with them. Smuggled in and stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the life Sydney shows. That's when we, yeah, we, what was it? They ran out of beer? We sold the most beer out of any show that's ever been in there. Something like that. Yeah. That's right. I do remember them saying that to me as they had a broom brushing out dozens of cans and

bottles of beer and stuff. And as they were charging us way too much for the pleasure of doing our show there. And they were making an absolute fucking killing on the bar as well. Yeah. The big old double dip. Yeah. Well, so I hope Conchita got paid double that night, but I suspect not.

Probably not. I suspect not. She's working behind the bar, I can't imagine, yeah. Yeah. Mark Natoli. Yeah, I've seen this name plenty of times on the socials. Yeah. I wonder if, do you think J jamira quay would have seen your name

on the socials and and and think tommy daslow yeah i know that guy he's been in the groups it's the dream yeah that's i guess i guess that's like the early version of like you know that that kind of like running online thing where people talk about like um it's become a bit of a meme of like listening to a podcast so much that you think the hosts are your friends yeah i guess the the fan like musician relationship in like the early aughts of just like being on a forum and just like obsessively posting and sharing the set lists and being in the front row of the gig with like your own custom t-shirt and all that sort of stuff. That's probably like that era equivalent of the podcast listener and host relationship. It's like, JK's my friend because he saw that I made my own t-shirt with the Buffalo Man on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And also there's that thing of like, in those fan forums, it's always like, oh, you know, JK's probably in here. Or whoever it is, is probably in this forum having a look. And it's like, fucking dream on, cunt. They're not. But then again, we've got our forums. It's like, we're in there every day. Yeah, I remember thinking that at the time of like, well, yeah, it's probably pretty conceited

to think like, oh yeah, he's looking at all our great posts. But then, I mean, yeah, there's two sides to it. You could be like so disconnected that you're just like, why would I look at that? But also, yeah, if you're big enough, it's like, why wouldn't you go looking out of interest? It's like, oh, yeah, there's a forum where people are talking about our music

and speculating. Yeah, but then you get involved in that stuff where, of course, there's going to be people going, oh, this sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, not to say that you would obsessively get into it, but maybe just, you know, you have a look just out of interest to see kind of what's out there. Who have you got the autograph?

Have you got an autograph of anyone? I've got... What have I got? I've got a few things that are... Like, I've got vinyls that I've bought and they've come signed because I've bought them as, as like a pre-order thing. And that always feels a bit like, I feel like we've maybe talked about this before, but the thing that you buy that is signed and comes to you is a bit like,

well, you don't have the story of having like met the person who's gotten the thing. Do people get autographs anymore? It feels like the selfie is like the modern autograph. That's what you want. Like I'm not going to carry around a little bit of paper and get you to chuck your little. I know. I remember my first year at the comedy festival, the festival prints up or they used to print up like a little mini booklet of just all the flyers of the international acts that

they had brought out. And I kind of made it my mission to get every page of it signed by each of the internationals. So just crawling around the hi-fi bar at 2am going up to like Chris Addison and, you know, getting him to sign it. And I think I did get pretty much all of them. Is this when you were performing or not? Yeah, this would have been 2005, I guess. Five or six. Right.

So yeah, doing my first year. Right. Just like... As a comedian, getting other comedians to sign it. Yeah. Wow. Yeah,... As a comedian, getting other comedians to sign it. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it's pretty grim stuff. If you...

Yeah, I mean, if that was flipped and you had a first year comedian getting you to sign something, what would your opinion be? I would think it was dorky, but I would also find it pretty endearing. Yeah, yeah. Fair enough. Fair enough. I would more feel bad because i would be like you are going to be mortified by this memory one day yeah just saying

to him like i'm going to do you the favor i'm not doing this because you'll be so embarrassed by this when you remember it in 15 years time yeah so no i'm not signing your fucking poster that has genuinely reminded me i do have some copies of funny Buggies in the bag I guess this is a sign for me speaking of on this episode yes yes so there's been a few people waiting for their copies in the mail

because Comedy Festival has consumed my life unfortunately and I've been carrying around these copies what's actually made it slower the mailing out of these copies is me not getting someone else to sign copies when I've been out and about. So I will get you to sign a couple now if that's okay.

But thanks, Mark, Natalie, Natoli, whatever. One more. We've actually got to get ready for a live podcast that will be coming out next week. Yes. Right now, I assume. That's what will happen. But the final Melbourne one. So let's just do next week. Yes. Right now, I assume. That's what will happen. But the final Melbourne one. So let's just do one more.

Okay. Thank you very much to Patron Subscriber. Okay. All right. I think this is, this might be the second one of those. Okay. All right. Thank you very much to Patron Subscriber.

Thank you to Comedy Dastyari. Oh, wow. Yeah, I think, think i think now this rings a bell as well i think they're another relation i think they're related right to as dastyari okay right yeah but not to sam dastyari oh okay yeah how's that like half sibling or something like that i haven't thought it out i don don't know. Okay. But, yeah, I think there's a connection there. The most disgraced Dastyari of them all. Yeah.

Yeah, that'll do. All right. Bye, everyone. No, no.