The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 627 - Shaun Micallef & Tony Martin

Episode Date: October 12, 2022

This week we're joined by SHAUN MICALLEF and TONY MARTIN! Shaun apologies for missing our 500th / 600th episode live show and we fill in the gaps of what his cameo would have entailed. We get deep into the Warney telemovie that's in production including further discussion about the Greatest Painting Of All Time, we get an in depth history of theatre restaurants in Melbourne and Adelaide, as well as some exclusive sketches from Tony and Shaun's ABC pilot that never saw the light of day PLUS we involve our guests (very reluctantly) in our latest idiotic caper! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Sean McAuliffe and Tony Martin. We have our big live episode coming up very shortly, October the 22nd, Saturday, October the 22nd, at the Comics Lounge in Melbourne. It's in Melbourne. Yep. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for tickets. It's our 12th birthday show slash Oz Comedy Hall of Fame induction ceremony.

First ever one. Yep. Of many, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Long, illustrious line of, yeah, ceremonies to come. So come and check that out. Be a part of history. Big, live, fun Saturday night show.

Come and see all of the nominees live on stage. Yep. Maybe we'll induct all of them at once. We couldn't choose who should win. Just like, you know, one of those weird religious types that just dunk everyone in the river at once and go, you're all baptized, guys. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, let's do that. Let's get a big pool set up at the front of the stage. Let's get the taps running in the bathroom up at the Comic Slounge and do that. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for tickets. We'd love to see you there. But until, we'll talk to you more at the end of the episode. But until then, enjoy this new episode

with Sean McAuliffe and Tony Martin. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo, and with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. Oh, my Lord. Very, very special episode today. Two great guests.

Please welcome back into the Little Dum Dum Club, Tony Martin and Sean McAuliffe. Two of the great minds in Australian comedy, plus we've got guests. Hello. Can I just apologise at the very beginning? Your 500th show, which was for a live audience. You had thousands of people there. In which theatre was it? The Athenaeum.

The Athenaeum. I still don't know. You asked me to come on to the show and I said yes, I'd be delighted. And we worked out a bit and everything. And then it wasn't that I forgot. I just got the date wrong. And I think, Tommy, is that right? Did I ring you up the next day or something?

So we were doing the show. We were doing the 500th episode and the 600th episode back to back. You were going to be on in the 600th episode. We're in the break in between the two of them. It's very hectic. There's a lot of moving parts in the show. We're running around and all of a sudden we're like, I wonder when Sean's getting here. And I just communicate with you over email.

I don't have a phone number or anything like that. So we're just walking out going like, I guess we just start the show and we were getting friends of ours backstage to just be like i guess just motion to us if sean turns up and we'll just do the bit then yeah and then uh a week later i was uh i was in bed with kofi and i got an email from you being like yeah we're all good for tomorrow so uh yeah i'll see you at the theatre at about 2pm. And the week before we'd been like, you know, we never announce who's going to be on as guests at live shows. Just as well.

Yeah, we'd been particularly saying sort of, oh, my God, we've got a real ripper for you this week. And so midway through the show I guess people were just going, Nick Capper I guess is the great one. The great get, I guess. Is that what that means? So who ended up filling in for Sean? Hughsy.

Hughsy? Yeah, got the wig on. We were just passing. Yeah. No, look, we had plenty on. Look, we had heaps and heaps of guests. Like, to be fair, I think we had about 15 guests on. I was in charge of 14 of them.

They all turned up. Tommy had one in charge of. Yep. So I don't blame you. He had a lot on his plate. Well, look, I'm grateful that, Tommy, that you actually told me that it had been the previous week because you could have easily let it go

and I could have turned up and, you know, that would have been... Anyway, I turn up... If folks listening, I turned up half an hour early. Yep. Yes. Here, now, right now. Getting ahead of the game. So just to make up for it.

I did like that as well, though. Like, so we were, were you know we were a bit disappointed but that's fine we had plenty on and we were like oh well that would have been nice and then I think when you had

your communication with Tommy you were like sorry I didn't turn up and then he was like well we've got another one next week you're like no thank you. I'm sure there was a

good reason. I definitely owed you. People who were listening who were at that live show might be thinking oh wow what a shame would have been awesome to see Sean

McAuliffe live at the Athenaeum. You know, I wish we had have seen that. But to all of the people that listened to this that weren't at the gig, Sean's bit was going to be a wordless cameo where you were just going to walk out with a drinks tray and spill it. So people just listening over the audio medium going like, yeah, we didn't miss out on anything really, just purely on the podcast. Yeah, now I can see why you didn't bother turning up because I figured they're going to hear me anyway.

Added bonus, they won't see me. That would have been interesting because we did, because of the type of listener that we attract, I guess, the theatre did run out of drinks. So there could have been a chance you would have just dropped an empty tray, making it an even more pointless expedition. No props whatsoever. Yeah.

A dry bar for you to turn up to. Yeah, I mean, a bunch of glasses or bottles breaking is one thing, but just a tray clanking, yeah, I wouldn't be... That sounds good. That sounds good.

Tony, you know, you're a master of radio. The sound of a clanking tray, the hollow tinny noise of a dropped tray always makes me laugh. It's always funny. But it's your podcast. You don't film them when you do a live one.

No, no. I do love the idea of what people think podcasts are now. I was in a pub the other day and they had on TV, what is it, the Matty Johns show, I think. Is it Matty Johns, the NRL player? That's a TV show. It used to be a TV show? Yes.

So it was on TV as I was eating my lunch. It was branded down the bottom, the Matty Johns podcast. And I'm watching it on TV going, well, it's more than a podcast, isn't it? Like if it's on TV. But then they're playing footage from the weekend just action i'm like i think you guys have missed the whole point of a podcast how am i watching it and if this is a podcast they're just playing rugby that's not going to translate to the podcast is it but there was actually a big article in the guardian quite recently about how podcasts on

youtube are becoming the most successful podcasts. I'm going, but that's just a TV show, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a really cheap TV show. Yeah, so what's the difference? And presumably it doesn't have a time limit. Is that the major difference in that case? I think it just lowers expectations. I think that's it.

I think when they see no set, no action. It's a web series. Yeah. But you're losing the theatre of the mind. You're losing the appeal of the drop tray of drinks, which works so much better in your headphones. Well, Sean, you've wrapped up Mad as Hell. Everyone's wondering what next.

And I spy a podcast in your future, I think. The dropped tray cast. I think. Look, you know, I don't want to add to the number that are around. I don't know whether I could possibly enter that market. That feels very full at the moment. Even the vlog cast. I was at the airport coming back from Perth,

getting on the plane and somebody asked for my autograph, which is a novelty these days. You don't often get it. But there was a selfie involved as well and an autograph. And he has a silver pen with him and he was using black paper. I thought, well, that's interesting. He's come on very well prepared. That's going to look quite professional.

And I didn't mind doing the selfie or the autograph. And then he asked me to sign another thing and I signed that. And then he said, oh, just a few words because I do have a blog. And he wanted to – Oh, an interview. Yeah, he wanted an interview. He had a little digi recorder and he wanted to interview. I thought, that's too much, isn't it?

That's a lot. This is now turning into a word. You're in danger of missing your flight at this point. That's a real show bag. That's the Sean McAuliffe show bag. The autograph, the selfie, a couple of words. And this is just like a punter, just a regular person. So, look, if he's you know

he's up and running I don't think I don't think the world needs me yeah I'd love to bring back the getting the getting the signature the autograph

on the glossy headshot just just walking around with a few glossies of people you think you might run into at any given moment really

bumping into Sean at the airport and being like hey I do I do have one here in the stack and he's like rifling through

when you go to different suburbs where you know where people... Like if you're walking through Richmond, you'd have some pictures of Hamish and Andy maybe because you've got a fair idea that they live there. Yeah, yeah. Hamish used to live around the area.

Maybe he's kind of back sniffing around again. I vaguely know where Tony lives. Are they 4x2s? Is that what they're called? Or is that a length of timber? Why would? 2x4. 2x4.

It's blank from that. Get your headshot printed onto a slab of timber. What about have you been asked to sign someone else's product? I've had that. I've been in an airport and someone goes, oh, can you sign this? And it was a book about Shane Warne that they were reading. Oh, really?

And they just go, oh, this is all I've got. So you're signing an inscription in a book about Warne. I did. I remember this is when I was a student. And so I'm like 18 at university. And Spike Milligan was down at Standard Books just off Rundle Mall. And he had a queue of people. It was one of the latest instalments to his war diaries, I guess it was.

And we were doing Aristophanes the Frogs. That was our Footlights production, and that's all I had. So I queued up. I just wanted to meet him. And I said, look, I'm sorry, I haven't bought your book. I didn't bring my wallet with me. Could you sign Aristophanes the Frogs? And he did.

Okay. He writes, Tushon, which he misspells, S-E-I-N, so that's the way his son, I think, is spelled. Tushon, you cheap bastard,

Spike Milligan. Great. Much better. Yeah, much better. I've got a copy of a Mario Brothers video game here that I got Ronnie Chang to sign. Really? Yeah.

We did it on the pod. I keep meaning to put it on Instagram and just see, on eBay. Right. And just see if there'd be any interest. Well, I got on the McAuliffe Tonight, which was my short-lived Tonight show on Channel 9.

Tony, I think you might have helped with the DVD commentary. I can't remember. ARIA award winning. Yes, indeed. Oh, really? I got Shane Warne to sign a hockey stick. Yep. Thinking exactly the same thing.

Sadly, by the end of the show it had been stolen somebody had already taken it away so popular was anything to be shown by Shane that went

which would have pity not that I would have tried to make money out of it but it would have been just fun just to have such an odd thing

someone's got it in their cupboard I'm amazed it didn't come out of the ether after he passed away well if it turns up if it turns up I'll to track it down. Yeah. I'm amazed it didn't come out of the ether after he passed away. Yeah, well, if it turns up, if it turns up, I'll ask for it back. I'd love to know whether it gets to that point now where it's a couple of years in where it turns from being a hockey stick signed by Shane Warne

to just one day going, I think it's just a hockey stick now. Yeah. Let's play hockey. Since we've brought up the subject of Warne, of course, there's the Channel 9 miniseries about Shane Warne coming. Oh, it's been like a fictionalised... Yeah, but I've been obsessed with...

Have you seen, I think, our friend Luke Heggie, who we were talking about earlier? He did that thing in The Guardian where it's the funniest things I've seen on the internet. And he had this amazing clip, and it was from a documentary about Shane Warne, but it wasn't from the doco. It's where that thing where someone's just filmed it off their TV.

Yes. So they've only got like the first 30 seconds of it. But it was Shane Warne showing you a painting at his house that he had commissioned. Oh, yeah. We've talked about this before. It's so good. Have we talked about that on this show?

His dream dinner party? His dream... I don't know. It's just he refers to it as, it this show? His dream dinner party His dream I don't know It's just He refers to it as It's me And I'm hanging with JFK I'm chilling with the boss It's like

And you look at the He's got like It's him and about 25 celebrities But it's such a bizarre Selection of celebrities So he's got Nicholson's playing poker in the corner Jack Nicholson

JFK, and Sharon Stone. Sharon Stone is just one of them. It's weird. It's like a three-year-old's been asked, who do you think are the

most popular historical figures in the world? And then name two chicks you'd like to root. That's what it is. And then it's sort of painted like... I think Jack Nicholson

has got a slab of VB. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's been sent down to the Thirsty Camel to get drinks for everyone. It's like he's breaking character just because Warnie's like, well, someone's got to bring a slab. So it's going to be Jack Nicholson. But if you're an artist, worth his salt. Okay, so you're a painter and that's the commitment.

I'm assuming Shane knew the painter. He's quite a well-known guy for doing exactly these sort of paintings. So what this guy, I can't remember the name of the guy, knew the painter. Is that right? He's quite a well-known guy for doing exactly these sort of paintings. So what this guy, I can't remember the name of the guy, but I know he's known for doing a lot of football club work

where they sort of jam in, you know, a player from the 1930s rubbing shoulders with a player from the 90s and all that sort of stuff. So he does a lot of big football clubs

sort of like, imagine if Charlie Chaplin was hanging out with Eddie Murphy, that sort of thing. You know, like the Hall if Charlie Chaplin was hanging out with Eddie Murphy, that sort of thing, you know, like the Hall of Fame of comedy. Oh, man, you're onto something. Yeah. Well, there's, of course, Edward Hopper's famous painting, Nighthawks, that everybody

knows, of the lonely cafe and everything. This is a lot worse than that. But no, there'd been a version of it after, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, I think, where the same cafe was populated by those sorts of people. Charlie Chaplin, not Eddie Murphy, but probably Marilyn Monroe and they were all there. So is that the artist or is this an Australian guy? No, it's a different one.

It's Jamie Cooper. That's his name. Jamie Cooper. Don't pull that one out of your head. Yeah, I know. Apologies if we've already talked about this, but wouldn't it be great if that was in the nine miniseries, just him commissioning that painting, designing it.

That's a spin-off. Unwrapping it. I want to see that be seven or eight minutes of the miniseries. No, we do the Warnie series, and then the painting, it's its own miniseries, like Better Call Saul style, where it's kind of like set before the events of the Warnie series. Yes. But it's so dumb to think of like he's going,

this is my dream drinks, like dinner party sort of thing. And it's like, but Warnie, what are you doing in this scenario? Like you're going up to Bruce Springsteen and going, can you do Born in the USA? What's he doing with these people? The assumption like all these people would love hanging out with me. It's great. It's a dinner party?

It's like a backyard barbecue kind of thing. Okay, so it's a kind of last supper, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, okay. And is Warnie in the middle of the action? Does he have the halo? Is he in it? I actually don't think he's in it.

What's the point? Just hang it in your house, sure. He's gone away. He's put the house on Airbnb and Nicholson's just had a party. What I like is that it's all those iconic, you know, Elvis and Marilyn Monroe and all these people. But then it's like there's his vice captain, Michael Platt. They're hanging out as well. And then like that, like, you know, Elvis, all these great musicians and whatever.

And then there's the lead singer from Coldplay as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a couple of people he actually knows jammed in with some of the biggest icons of the 20th century. You're right though, that's a hell of a commission to get if you're the painter. Just imagining that that guy would have been working on it for a very long time, just relationship with his partner falling apart, kids haven't seen him, they're crying and he's like, daddy's busy with his art and it's him painting Jack Nicholson holding family relationship on the rocks but those those nine mini series they always it's just by numbers

i always call it the ghost train version of someone's life you're going oh there's the time that happened there's the time that ghost train you know like you're going through a ghost train of your own life so with graham kendy oh there's the time he said, fuck on blanketing. Right, right, right. There's the time. I was in that one. Oh, you were in that? Of course you were.

I was in that one. Very good. I'll tell you something weird about that film. Well, who did you play? I played Colin Bednall. The head of Channel 9. He was the head of Channel 9. So I think I was joke casting because I'd just been fired

from Channel 9 after 13 weeks and with the Tonight Show that we were just referring to earlier. And, of course, Kennedy's show had run 13 years. So the irony was not lost on me that I was the man who was supposed to be orchestrating this long-running show for Graham Kennedy. Playing the proto-version of the guy who'd fired you in present day. Yeah, basically. In fact, that's exactly right. And it's great. Stephen Hall was... Stephen Hall that's exactly right. Stephen Hall was Bert Newton. Stephen Curry

was Graham Kennedy. But then, am I wrong in saying that Graham Kennedy's boyfriend was played by another Curry brother? No, you're quite right to say that. That's strange casting. Really? There's a lot of tension in that casting,

isn't there? So his brother was playing his boyfriend? Right. Really? There's a lot of tension in that casting, isn't there? So there's... What? His brother was playing his boyfriend? Yeah. This just seems like the whole production was a front for just someone in at Channel 9's like, you know what would be sick?

Yeah. Seeing two Currys go at it. Yeah, I know. You wouldn't find that in Warnie's painting. But the weird thing about that was, I mean, it was a... I'll leave it to others was I mean it was a you know I'll leave it to others to decide whether it was a good show or not

but there was another 30 minutes dealing with the back end of Kennedy's career which involved blankety blanks Angus Sampson was playing actually Dave Gray and Steve Curry's dressed as the old version of Graham Kennedy and I'm just trying to think who played...

Anyway, it was very elaborate, a lot of makeup, and they end up cutting the whole thing, and it was never included at all. There's one shot of Angus as Ugly Dave. There's a pan across the... Oh, okay, right. But it's not a... I don't think he even speaks.

No. Because I remember him saying he had to track down Ugly Dave Gray and his sort of Apocalypse Now style compound on the Gold Coast to interview him about it. I'm going, what for that one shot? That was nice of him. That's the level of commitment that

Angus has to his roles. That's why he's doing so well. I remember all I did when I was in the Cup, again with Stephen Curry. I was about to say now, I watched you recently in the Cup because I was on a flight and my screen I did when I was in the cup, again, with Stephen Curry. I was about to say, now, I watched you recently in the cup because I was on a flight and my screen I don't think was working. So then I was watching whatever the person in front of me was watching and so I watched the cup with the sound down.

No audio. Yeah, great. With the sound down and just watched it. And I have to say, without without sound I think you did quite well good well that's good without volume I'll tell you what

I watched Lawrence Mooney was part of it didn't think he was as good as you without sound so I think that's some sort of compliment I would have done great

in this 500th celebratory episode yeah I would have done it very nicely but all I did was Angus actually went and spoke to

Ugly Dave Gray all I did was ring Leeus actually went and spoke to Ugly Dave Gray. All I did was ring Lee Friedman and say, what does your voice sound like? Which you don't really need to ask

if you're ringing him. That's true. Just get a book off your shelf and just read over the phone to me for a bit and I'll kind of

pick it up. Sean, am I right in saying that your name is misspelt in the opening credits? Yes. Oh, it is too.

It is too. Now that's someone everyone on a plane can enjoy. I didn't need the volume for that one. I did notice that one. The indignity of having this. They gave me an extra F at the end of my name. And I remember going to the premiere and watching it and being terribly disappointed,

but also a bit embarrassed to actually mention it. Yes. I had to mention it to Simon Winster, the director, who then passed it on to... I'm just trying to think who made it. Who made it? Who would have been likely to have made the film? They were connected with the cinema in some way

and I received 120 double passes with no time limit on it. It was like winning Willy Wonka's factory, essentially. It was great. So it had a drawer full of double passes to whatever the cinema was. Well, another trivia fact, in tribute to that misspelling, when you came on my show, A Quiet Word, we spelled your name with three Fs. That's right.

So does this mean those two things are now officially not on your IMDb? Because they're just not registered? In case someone is listening to this episode that works for IMDb and has to do all that work, I'm just wondering whether that gets fixed up on there. No, it's all in there. Because I believe... I think it's all in there.

And yes, Tony's show also, I'm there as being spelled with three Fs. Absolutely. But it is an easily misspelt name. It is. It is often misspelt name. It is. It is often misspelt, often mispronounced, a bit like Rupert Pupkin in King of Comedy. I think I'm not in there. I think my disastrous performance in Sleuth 101 isn't on my IMDb

because they spelt my name wrong in the credits. Oh, really? Yeah. You can put it in, though. Oh, it's fine. You don't mind it missing? I'm pretty bad in it yeah

I'm meant to be it was like Cluedo Cluedo is like a murder mystery thing where you would film this you'd film a whole kind of scripted bit

and then a comedian guest would come on and try and solve the mystery by watching those clips and then also interviewing all the characters

in character we talked about this a little while back and then someone ironically a little sleuth and then someone ironically, a little sleuth themselves, went and found the clip and we were talking about the whole disaster of it

was you trying to do a Dutch accent. I basically got this email that was like, can you do a Dutch accent? Because if so, there's a role here for you. And I'm like 23 or whatever. I'm like, yeah, I want the world. I'll figure this out. May we hear it?

I reckon you do it better now than you did because someone found it, put it on one of our pages, and I have to say, without knowing the backstory, if I had just watched that and said, which accent do you think he's trying to do, I don't think I would have picked that. Seeing that someone had posted that on our Facebook, I had one of those visceral reactions

where you just have to walk away from the computer. I was like, I can't watch this. I don't want to be anywhere near it. It's so embarrassing. Having said that, everyone else in that minute frame was trying on an accent and I'm like, I wouldn't have put this to air. I don't know what's going on in the show.

You would be cancelled now if you did accent. Yeah. Can I hear the accent? Ooh, give me a line of dialogue. You'd be cancelled now if you did that. Yeah. Can I hear the accent? Ooh. Give me a line of dialogue. Oh, well, let's say, here is the accent that I did on Sleuth 101. What about this? Welcome to the 500th episode of The Little Dumb Dumb Club.

Please welcome to the stage, Sean McCullough. All right. Welcome to the 500th episode. Here is Sean McCullough. There we go. There we go. What do you think? That's all right. Just edit that into the 500th episode. Yeah, sureAuliffe there we go there we go what do you think that's alright

just edit that into the 500th episode go back and do that and then we can put the clang of the tray in I mean I'm about 15 years on from when I did the role so I've had a bit of time

to work on it did John Olb direct that yeah yeah I remember him making that director of Mad as Hell and yes we should put him

into context and what station was it on? The ABC. It was the ABC. Okay. And how many episodes? Six, I think.

Cal Wilson, I think. More than McAuliffe tonight. No, McAuliffe's only got 13, I'll have you know. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. But I should also, Will Arnett has a show on at the moment, does he not? Yes. It's a bit does he not? Yes. It's a bit similar to that?

Yes. It's called Murderville on Netflix, but it's a remake of a British show. Oh, okay. And there's a couple of really good episodes of that. Well, I saw the first one with Conan O'Brien. I thought that was pretty funny. Yeah, but the one with Kumail Nanjiani. I tell people to start with that one because that's

an outstanding it's a bit like not all of them are great it's a bit like Thank God You're Here yeah so it's a detective show where the

assistant detective doesn't know what's going on just has to help Will Arnett and Will Arnett is peddling at a hundred miles an hour to make the show work

you really feel for it I gotta I gotta send these guys a clip of me on Sleuth 101. It'll be my ticket to Hollywood. Get a Dutch character in there. Sean, you're on the press junket at the moment. You've got a book out called Tripping Over Myself.

We've had a few people with books on lately. Generally, we get the book in advance. But this feels like one of those bad American movies that they don't give the critics a preview of, and they just turn up and go, there you go. We don't have time to read it. Damn. Tommy actually went down.

He did a lot of prep. He went down and bought it. Oh, really? Yeah, because I was saying to Sean in the beautiful half an hour that we were sharing in my house together before we started recording, Sean saw my copy and said, oh, did the publisher send you that? And I was relying that we've been burnt the last two times we've interviewed someone in the week of their book coming out by the publisher saying they'll send us a copy of the book

and just not. And so I went, you know what? It's out now. There's a bookshop at the end of my street. I just walked down and grabbed myself a copy. God bless you. Well, I hope you kept the receipt. You can take it back after the interview.

I'd like a Tony to sign it if that's okay. I didn't expect you to read it. I've spoken to quite a few people who clearly haven't read it. Is it that thing where all of their questions are from literally the first page of the book? Well, you know, when I was on Nova this morning and Pang was reading off the quotes that are on the front cover. Oh, wow. So he didn't even get to open the book. Actually, you'd love this, Tony.

There's a mistake on the cover. On the cover? Oh, hang on. Let me pick it. Can I pick it? So it's got some nice quotes there, including the word embarrassing by Kate McLennan. That was, in fact, said by Kate McCartney.

Oh. Oh. So we've mixed them up. So it's not a spelling mistake. It's not one of the... No, but there is a... Now, that's embarrassing. There is a spelling mistake in the photo section.

That is a fantastic picture. I'm looking at a picture of Sean and Francis recreating the film Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. And you'll see the reference to Francis' name. Francis Greensald. Yes. Francis Greensalad. So the guy I've worked with for like 40 years is misspelled.

However, you have correctly spelt something that was misspelled in my book. One of my books, I identified that film as Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. Whereas, in fact, the title is Whatever Happened. Because the word whatever is actually quite a recent invention. So when this film came out, it was whatever. Two separate words. I got it right. That would have been the end of it.

Much like the film Ghostbusters, which if you look at the titles, is called Ghostbusters. Right. Even the sequels have become Ghostbusters. They didn't have Ghostbusters back then. No. It was a recognised industry. Speaking of Ghostbusters,

I do remember being very, very confused as a man in my early 20s turning on the television one morning and watching... Oh, there we go. The two different sorts of Ghostbuster cartoons. Well, that wasn't a cartoon. It was a series with Larry Storch, Forrest Tucker and a gorilla called Tracy.

Yes. That's called Ghostbusters. That. Yes. Is that called Ghostbusters? That was animated. That was called Ghostbusters. No, no, no. No, that was Ghostbusters. Human Life. I think that must have preceded Ghostbusters. Because there's one with Bob Hope Ghost Breakers. Breakers, yeah, sure. That's

something else. We're going way back in time. So Larry Storch. The road to Ghostbreaking. We're going way back in time. So Larry Storch... The road to ghost breaking. Larry Storch, write this down. Larry Storch, Forrest Tucker and the gorilla. And it was... I thought that was a cartoon.

One was called Spencer, one was called Tracy and one was called Kong. But the gorilla was called Tracy. Okay. And Forrest Tucker was called Kong. There was definitely two cartoons on at the same time called Ghostbusters, but then one of them was called The Real Ghostbusters because that was the actual one with the licensed characters.

But then the other one was just like, ah, we'll just see what happens. And they had a monkey. Yeah, they had a gorilla. Different time. Look, it must have been so successful they spun it off as an animated series. But there's a thing of going, there was copyright law in the mid-80s, wasn't there?

You couldn't just have a show called, I don't know, Footrot Flats and then have a fucking robot playing the main character. You and me go into the ABC and we pitch the real mad as hell. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can't do that, can you? Well, I don't know. It might have predated it, which might have given it rights. It's like McDonald's and Burger King.

I think there was some confusion, certainly in South Australia. Hungry Jack's and Burger King. Hungry Jack's, I beg your pardon. I think Hungry Jack's came about as a result of Burger King already being used. Yes. Is that right? Yes. So, yeah, you'll find...

And there was that weird part in the early aughties or whatever it's called, where they decided they finally got the rights back, I think. Right. And then went, right, let's start doing Burger King again. Yes, in one state only? But in Melbourne, there was two blocks apart. You could go to Burger King and then to Hungry Jack's.

There was a lot of confusion. All the same branding, the same font and everything, the same menu and everything, just two different names like two blocks apart. One of the Burger Kings was near where I went to school and we couldn't believe it when it was opening. It was like, America is coming to us, boys. We've got to head down. And then just eating in there and being like, oh, it's just the same.

And I'm sure we've talked about this before, but I think at that confused stage in the Australian history of this burger corporation, at one stage there was literally a Burger King just at the Tullamarine Airport because that was international wardens. So they could trade out of the airport, but not anywhere else. Right. So if you killed somebody at the airport Burger King, you would be subject to American law. Yes. You would still be committing what is that?

Matricide? Matricide, is it? Which means who you killed. If you killed the Burger King. Oh, I see. Regicide. Regicide, there we go. Matricide is just killing your mother.

You can do that anywhere. That's Burger King. Hungry Jack's is a stupid name for a place to eat anyway. Hungry Jack's? Really? That was the second thing that he... Oh, we can't use Burger King. What will we use?

Oh, that's next on the list. Hungry Jack's. Yeah, yeah. Surely that wasn't second. Well, why aren't we allowed to... Why do the US get Burger King when we're part of the monarchy? Yeah. And we don't...

We should have that now. See, that's what they... You have to give it to them we're part of the monarchy. Yeah. And we don't... We should have that now. See, that's what they... You have to give it to them because we do have the monarchy and all they have is Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, and people shot him. Right, right. So Camelot was over. People, there was more than one person.

Okay. That's what I hear. Interesting. Okay. He ran to the book repository. The whole chapter about this in the book, which I really enjoyed. Did you see two people on the grassy knoll on Shane Warne's painting?

There's no way. There's no way the angle could have entered the back of his head and the front of his head at the same time. That would be a good addition to Shane Warne's painting. Lee Harvey Oswald in the distance. You know, they do say that. There are films on it. The Warren Commission, everybody has do say that. They do say, you know, there are films on it. There's, you know, the Warren Commission.

Everybody has looked at that. To me, it's very simple why the two angles of incident occur in Kennedy's head with the bullet entry because obviously he swung his head around. He heard the gunfire. What the hell's going on there? He already got shot in the head, turned around to see where it was coming from and then got hit in the front of the head. Perfectly simple.

Do you have Lock anded Huber coming on this podcast anytime soon yeah what's next for Sean McAuliffe QAnon pod he's starting up deep conspiracy theories every week

but we must have talked about this Hungry Jack's a bad name but for a record shop why would you call it sanity don't you find that

that's never been is that something I don't understand being from New Zealand let's do that but to clear up I've always found it confusing that it's Hung been am I is that something I don't understand being from New Zealand let's do that but to clear up I've always found it confusing that it's Hungry Jack's

and even the Thirsty Camel it's like two things that are like they should be their appetite should be sated by the store like if you're Hungry Jack's yes

you've got all the why are you hungry you own all the burgers I'm an outlier I think Hungry Jack's is a sick name I love it I think it's so good.

What's a Jack? I mean, it's referenced obviously Burger King. Is it the card thing? Is it the card? I think it's just the name of a man. That's what's great about it.

See? You go in there, you're with the family, you've got other things to talk about. You can just debate what the name of the restaurant is.

I've always wanted a burger joint that makes you think. Well, Thirsty Camel makes sense because you don't expect a camel to be thirsty because you've got everything in the hump.

So there's a kind of irony there. There's a level of irony that makes sense to me and I can understand thirsty camels. But I thought camels aren't supposed to be thirsty because they can go without liquid water. That's the irony. Yeah, he's run out. That's the twist, you see.

No more water in the humps. It's time to crack open a beer. Okay. That's right. Mind you, the depiction of the camel for thirsty camel is wrong because if it was thirsty

then presumably the hump is empty and when the hump gets empty on the camel it kind of flops over the sides like the comb on a rooster.

Right. That's not depicted accurately there. What is he doing? He's wearing sunnies, isn't he? Yeah. He's kind of cool.

You're thinking of the camel that advertises the camel. The cigarette isn't he? Yeah. He's kind of cool. Well, hang on. You're thinking of the camel that advertises. The camel. Joe Cool. Yeah. Cigarette camel. You're right, I am. Yeah.

Pizza Hut. Terrible name. It's just named after the roof. That's no good. No. Well, Hut. I mean, that depicts like a bit of an amateur. I mean, you're supposed to be some Italian cuisine, like something nice

and then it's like, oh, it's in some fucking shanty. Yeah. There's not a lot of trust put in an establishment like that, I don't think.

Yeah, exactly. I always thought it was, again, I thought it was an answer because I grew up in Adelaide and we had the Pizza Palace which was aiming very high.

Well, there you go. That's nice. I thought the Pizza Hut was an answer to the Pizza Palace. People thought, well,

if you don't want to put on airs. The everyman's place. The pizza lean-to. That's more the small Hawaiian for the common man. Yeah. That's right. And then what's beneath Hut? For when Pizza Hut's even hoity-toity.

The Pizza Humpty. Pizza Haven is like, that's even above all of them. That's like you've crossed over into the afterlife, right? Yeah. Pizza Gutter? There you go. Pizza Gutter. Pizza Shit Hole.

There was Pizza Hut opening in Hamilton, New Zealand when I was a kid. It was a huge deal because it was the first place in town, or maybe in New Zealand, with an all-you-could-eat salad bar. And it was only a week after it opened before there was already reports of families taking along Tupperware containers. Yes, yes. And just shoveling salad into it and taking it home with them. Also, not a lot going on in that town where you get excited by a salad bar.

We were so excited. It was the fanciest place to go to. If Cobb & Co was closed, you went to Pizza Hut. Oh, Cobb & Co. Was that a themed? I think they've had that here, haven't they? It's like a restaurant chain. All the ads involve stagecoaches.

The impression you got was that you were going to be eating dinner in a stagecoach. Cobb & Co delivered mail, didn't they? Not in New Zealand, they did. Delivered chicken parmas. Yeah, you can deliver. You put chips in an envelope. I mean, you can get food out of the mail or something. I mean, it seems to have died out here, the theatre restaurant.

That's something that you're well versed in. Well, we had Dirty Dicks in the restaurant chain in New Zealand. And all I remember about that is you went along and you got a chopping board with a slab of beef on it. And you're going, well, where's the cutlery? And they're like, oh, there is no cutlery because this is authentic medieval. So you just had to eat a steak with your bare hands. With no knife or fork. No. And was that, because I never went to Dirty Dick's.

There used to be one here in Melbourne. They wouldn't have steaks in medieval times. Exactly. How authentic do we want to go? They would have had roast beef. They wouldn't have had steaks. I've got to plan a night out at Witches and Britches. I've been meaning to do it for ages.

Does it still exist? It's still there. I may be wrong about this, but I think it might be for sale. Oh, really? And once that goes, because now the Titanic has closed, I think. I think it's up for sale. Well, exactly. So is that going to leave none?

Dracula's is a hot pot restaurant. I was going to say, because there was a glut at some point, but now it seems like there's this. Oh, really? It was when I moved to Melbourne in 86. We counted 32. Hang on, hang on, hang on moved to Melbourne in 86. We counted 32. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Hold the phone there. You're burying the lead.

Why did you count that? No, I'm just obsessed with the... That makes complete sense, Tony. Because a bunch of comedians decided to start this. Because there was always an ad for all the theatre restaurants and the age on the page with all the movies. And a bunch of comedians decided to start a society called the Beefeaters Club where every month we would all go to one of these theatre restaurants.

But they were insanely expensive. And most of the comedians were on the dole. And the people just were going, I can't afford to go to Roman scandals. Yeah, yeah. And, of course, on average, the price goes up when every month Fleety's turns up and says, oh, I forgot my wallet again exactly he was in the

Beefeaters Club one of the first writing gigs I was ever offered in Adelaide before I left the law to pursue a career at the circus

was to write the show write a new show because they weren't happy with the one they had for Night Train Horror which was in Hindmarsh Square

and so I was invited to go along and watch it to see what there would be usable or salvageable. I was so embarrassed by the night. The MC was a fellow by the name of Hannibal Lectern. Was he in a giant Lectern

costume? Apart from the surname, there was no other reference to lectern. Yeah, what's the character? It's like a public speaker who's a cannibal? He's doing lectures about cannibalism? He eats microphones? No, you've gone too far. At the Blue Sky session, they had to come up with the name of the character.

They did not go beyond putting an N on the end. Yeah, one letter. Did they employ Frank Jacobs from Mad Magazine or something? Because that's the sort of skill that's involved there. It was that level. But this... Oh, sorry. They come out and sing Monster Mash or something like that.

It was just a bunch of songs. And you're sitting there with your notepad, cut Monster Mash, dead weight. The thing, you know what? I might have even considered writing it if they hadn't tried to get me up to dance to do Time Warp. It's always the Time Warp. So a couple of vampires are trying to pull me up on stage and I didn't want to go. And I just said no and I really had to say no and refuse to do it.

It kind of spoiled the mood for the two hens parties either side of this. no and refused to do it and it kind of spoiled the mood for the yeah the two hens parties either side and uh and then i just never got back to them never spoke to the guy again in fact i think i saw him two years later in the queue at the cinema and i just can't we had to look away from each other it was so embarrassing and then um and then i don't know several years later when i was doing full frontal gary and i had written Creepy Spooks, which was a parody of that night. Yes. Which we had, you know, Kitty Flanagan, good cast, Kitty Flanagan was in it.

And somebody, oh no, this wasn't in Full Frontal, this was in the McCarlin program. Yeah, this is the behind the scenes, theatre restaurant kind of thing. And I remember you had the, forgive me if I'm fucking up the joke, but wasn't the premise that this little show gets moved to the comedy theatre? That's right. But it's on exactly the same scale with just four mics in the middle of the stage. I think a single balloon comes wafting down at the end. That's right.

And somebody who's been playing the werewolf or Frankenstein for the entire series just goes on without the costume. Not wearing the costume. That's all right. It doesn't matter, does it? Well, look, it's probably... What was the name of the theatre restaurant? It was Night Train Horror.

So it was a horror-based... Yeah, yeah. But I don't know why it was called Night Train Horror. It doesn't quite make sense. It's a night train horror. Yeah. Is it on a train? There was no train involved. There was no train. But then, you know, Hannibal Lectern. There was no lectern. It's a night train horror. Yeah. Is it on a train? There was no train involved.

There was no train. But then, you know, Hannibal Lectern, there was no lectern. Hannibal Podium. Just getting words that sound cool and putting them together. I loved thinking about like when we were in the lockdowns and then they would end and people would get very excited to, you know, Friday night we can all go out and, you know, me and my friends, we have pubs that we really love and, you know,

so we'd be like, oh, have our first dinner back at this pub that we all love but you realize that like every venue out there is someone's favorite i just always loved walking around on like the first night out of lockdown and just like imagining someone seeing the announcement and being like honey we gotta book witches and britches for this friday night finally we can head back there for an average parmigiana and just a ripping show. And an under-rehearsed show. Yeah, just the cast being fired up to get back up there, but so nervous. And a show with a name that's a parody of something

that's just about five years too late. Crazy rich witches they had for a bit. They had two and a half witches up until about three years ago. And it was Nightmare on Bridges Street or something like that but the worst one the one because we would regularly if we drove if we had to drive across town we go we've got to go past witches and bridges see what the current show is and at one point they had one this is the worst name ever vanity lair was the name of the show because the poster was a parody of the Vanity Fair cover with Demi Moore pregnant.

But they had like a pregnant female vampire. So they've gone, okay, we want to parody that topical image from 1992, the Demi Moore pregnant. So what do we call the show? Vanity Lair. Oh my God.

It's got, I mean, the number of people in this city that would be very aware of everything that witches and britches have ever done because they're on a pretty prominent main road. They've always got the big billboard up out the front. A lot of people, a lot of eyes on it. Just the ratio of people who are aware of that versus the number of people who've actually ever gone to witches and britches in their life.

Huge chasm. You know Mike McLeish, who was Keating in Keating the Musical, versus number of people who've actually ever gone to Witches and Britches in their life. Huge chasm. You know Mike McLeish, who was Keating in Keating the Musical, he did a great one-man show a few years ago about being fired from Dracula's because he was Dracula and he wasn't able to turn up to rehearsals because he had some gig and he had the manager of Dracula say... What would you do in the day? Exactly. Well, is it a full moon?

And then he's told... He literally heard the sentence, you'll never work in theatre restaurants in this town again. And he managed to do a whole show about it. And I always remember the line that stuck with me was he says, you've got to question your career when you're dressed as a werewolf and welcoming diners with a thirsty Merc song. Well, that's the thing,

because there was so much of a glut of it. Now, it was all sort of like, you know, you've got your Night Train horror and Draculas and werewolves. And with 32, you start to, you know, run out of things you can do without doubling up because I think they had the loony bin. That's right.

There was one called the loony bin. The loony bin that was up near... There was Hunchbacks in Richmond. Well, that's what I was going to say. That's right. There was one called the loony bin. The loony bin that was up near... There was Hunchbacks in Richmond. Well, that's what I was going to say. That's the only one I've ever been to where it's like you're running out of scary historical figures because there's not much you can do with a guy that's sort of tilted over with a big lump on his back and sustain that through an hour. I remember the poster for the loony bin with someone in a straight jacket having electrocutions

back when that was funny that would be I don't know quite the image would have to be soft and sly these days is this yeah is this just an art form

that like once Witches and Britches is gone is it is the theatre restaurant just gone in this city forever I guess so because if you think about it I mean the hunchbacks

again that would be subject to a certain amount of auditing in terms of how offensive that would be to certain groups of people. And so that would be out. So you're saying PC culture has killed the theatre restaurant. There was your Roman, because there was Roman scandals, and then there was one called Nero's Fiddle, which was in the first three. That's okay. That's all right.

And I remember their show, the show that ran for years was called Up Your Toga, and then that was replaced by Up Your Toga 2. It was the sequel. There was Alcatraz, which was prison themed. This is the natural next step without a TV show, Sean. This is your new thing. You started sort of in theatre restaurants. I think this is where you've got to go full circle here.

Bunraki Castle. You secretly write a new show for Witches and Britches and you don't really publicise it. You know what? I should basically get on to that guy who asked me to rewrite. Yeah. So the circle could be complete. I'd say, well, look, I've been working on it for the last 30 years.

I think I've ironed out a lot of the problems. We keep Hannibal Lectern, obviously. Everything else goes. No hunchbacks. But we go into his backstory. No insane people.

We get him a lectern so it makes sense. That's what I've been, it's been bugging me for 30 years. Yes. Have him stand in front of something.

Stand in front of a lectern and he reads the entirety of Vanity Fair. Yes, there you go. Not the magazine, but the 19th century novel. But it's written in the font of the magazine. Of course. Yeah.

Merch store on the way out. People can buy their own little lecterns to take home with them that have the branding of the theatre restaurant. I don't know whether people want to be horrified when they're eating. No, and also Hannibal Lectern is reminding you of cannibalism. Yes don't know whether people want to be horrified when they're eating. No, and also Hannibal Lecter is reminding you

of cannibalism. Yes. A woman trapped in a pit in a basement. Yeah. Well, I went to medieval times when I was in the States when I was like 12. One of the best nights of my life. Medieval.

We had a Bunratty Castle in South Melbourne that was medieval themed. I think, well, obviously Dirty Dicks. What was your favorite of the 32 uh starship crazy house oh ticky and john's starship crazy house in exhibition slow down starship yeah crazy house it was because it was i don't know who these guys were ticky and john right and they had a chain of theater restaurants there's one just called Tiki and John's and then they had one called Tiki and John's

Starship Crazy House now question space themed yep catchphrase was and it's a very hard sentence to say join our comical

four course cruise across the galaxy right that was what it said in the ad and you felt very sorry for the voice over so did that come out of

is that come out of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Or is that like, or was it called Aeroplane at one point? It changed it to Starship. It's just that thing where it's just everything. There's like Captain Kirk and a Wookie. It's just all thrown into a stew. What was it called again?

Tiki and John's Starship Crazy House. It was on Exhibition Street. It used to be Jefferson Starship Crazy House. Right. It was on Exhibition Street. It used to be Jefferson Starship Crazy House. Yeah. Exactly. So there were crazy people on a spaceship? Yeah, it was just a really crazy spaceship. If the loony things took matter for you.

Right, right. But there wasn't any electrodes in the brain or straight electrodes or anything. No, that was copyright, the loony thing. Right, right. Okay, all right. I do like the idea of insane people being in space though that's something different i guess yeah but there was a

lot of competition and we were obsessed because i'm pretty sure i remember this right there was a court case uh where alcatraz the prison themed one and the dungeon a sort of medieval torture chamber themed one sued each other because they both had the same phrase, come and get locked in for the night. You're going, is that so great that you want to mount a lawsuit to retain it? Has anyone ever trademarked the phrase, the flavour is out of this world, and then have the spaceship? Like that's the thing that, I saw one of them the other day,

I'm like, that is what, when they tried to teach us marketing in year seven, that's what every kid did, just have a space thing. It's out of this world. I saw it in the wild the other day. I was like, oh, my God, they're getting a 12-year-old to do the marketing for this product. It's public domain. Yeah, yeah, maybe. It was coined so long ago that it's like Winnie the Pooh.

Just anyone can use it. It's coming out of, yeah, yeah. But you can't have the catchphrase with the red shirt on. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can write whatever you want. Well, we're edging around the obvious one that I don't know if we're even allowed to say, Tony.

Yes. Which, of course, is the Fawlty Towers dining experience. Fawlty Towers, the dining experience, spelt... In the correct way. In the correct way. So they've improved upon the original. They fixed it. Where's the joke? Yeah. Well've improved upon the original. They fixed it.

Where's the joke? Well, it's faulty. It's the word faulty now. They fixed the whole show. The main guy's a tall guy with a moustache that behaves correctly. Business is thriving. Exactly. Just serves you the food on time. It's quite nice.

Great Google reviews. People love it. There's no dead bodies. It's quite nice. Great Google reviews. It's on with Manuel. People love it. There's no dead bodies. Never had a complaint. Well, we have talked about it many times, but there was, was there a lawsuit? Did Tom,

sorry, Tom Cleese, that's the character in the show. Did John Cleese, did John Cleese sue them? I mean, he was outraged, but I don't know if he ever got around to filing a lawsuit. I think there was some,

there was some action taken around the time that Cleese himself was putting together his stage show, The Forty Towers. Which his thing was, I remember he came out and was like, I had no idea there had been a group of people taking advantage of my creative invention for 20 years. Yeah, it had obviously done the rounds here in Australia and I think was quite popular around certain Asian countries as well.

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think there was a show going in Hong Kong. He completely ignored our hemisphere. So I don't know whether he closed them down. Oh, no, it's still going. Yeah. He came out and tried to do that stage show

and sort of failed, I think, didn't he? Well, Stephen Hall played John Cleese in that and that would have been a pretty good get. Yeah. I remember thinking that's not a bad gig, having the imprimatur of John Cleese and I think it toured Australia. I think with a view to

it being transferred to the UK and it didn't go to the UK. But the problem is they weren't serving a meal. Exactly. No one got soup spilled on them so it was a failure. They can't go into towns where the Fawlty Tales dining experience has already been. It's going to be too much of a clash. It was not

dissimilar in terms of what they were doing which was basically taking three episodes and stitching them together. So I think for those who had experienced the added pleasure of a meal, they were getting less. That's been going for so long, and why has no one else in that time gone, like taken another popular sitcom? Well, we did on I hate to crowbar in a reference

to sizzle town but we uh had them doing um love thy neighbor maybe mind your language yeah yeah yeah what about curry what about curry and chips are you familiar with curry it was a spike mill and Chips? No. Was it Spike Milligan? Yeah, okay. So it's written by the same guy who wrote Till Death Do Us Part. So it's... Johnny Spate. Johnny Spate. Okay, so Johnny Spate. Okay, so are you familiar with Till Death Do Us Part?

This is Warren Mitchell. Very vaguely, yeah. It became all of the family. I was going to say. Right, got adapted to that. All right, so they're doing quite well with the frank comedy of Till Death Do Us Part. So Johnny Spade thinks, well, I'll do another one about race.

That'll be interesting. I'll do it about race. So it's called Carrying Ships. I think it only hit a pilot stage. So it features Spike Milligan as a Pakistani. So he's in blackface and the character is pretending to be Irish. as a Pakistani, so he's in blackface and he's pretending, the character is pretending to be Irish.

The character denies his own racial origin. Yep. So he's trying to do... So he's not an Irish person pretending to be Pakistani. He's a Pakistani person doing an Irish accent? That's right. That's kind of what I was going for with my Dutch on Sleuth 101.

It didn't sound dissimilar to what Milligan was doing. So Milligan's doing this. There's a scene in which he has a scene with Alf Garnett on a train. It is mind-boggling and I think it's like 1976 when you think that even

then, even back then, people would have known better. How was that ever going to be a series? I mean, you still had the Black and White Minstrel Show on television. I suppose that's true. When I was a kid in New Zealand, like around 1969, when I would have been five, the Black and White Minstrel Show was the highest-rating show

on New Zealand television, and it's a variety show. Afternoons, from memory, on the weekends? We showed it like at 7.30 on a Sunday night. And I think there was only one TV channel at that point, so you had to watch that show. And it's a one-hour variety show with people in. Exactly. Why was it called TV One?

That's the name of the channel. And then we got TV Two. But then what I didn't realise, because that went off New Zealand TV by about 1972, but that show kept going in England until like 1978. And what is amazing to Google is clips of it from like 78 where they're doing disco numbers. So you've now got people in blackface minstrel gear doing like,

blame it on the boogie. It's like you're watching something that would be on a TV show in a David Lynch film. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so bizarre. Is this concurrent with, because there was another kind of old-time music hall show from England called...

The Good Old Days? Yes, it was called The Good Old Days and they would have people on like Arthur Askey would come on because he had his leg off by that point. He'd come on and he'd have a fake leg and he'd do a bit of a dance and sing the Busy Busy Bee or something like that. And they were old variety performers,

old musical performers, who kind of were probably still quite popular in the 30s, I reckon. 30s and 40s. And this was in the 70s? Yeah. Slash 80s? Yeah, that was still playing in New Zealand by the late 70s. And I don't think there was any kind of,

there's no racial slurring going on in that particular show. I don't remember that anyway. Not in any songs or anything? No, no, just the idea of it. And luckily, absolutely embrace the 19th century nature of it. Yeah. Whereas the Black Ops minstrel show,

they're doing disco numbers. You've got to YouTube them. No, I don't. It's surreal. I don't want that in my search engine. He's not the story. Cranking the views up on that one. He's not the story.

And this, I don't know whether this is true or just an urban myth, that Lenny Henry, a young Lenny Henry, was on the black and white minstrel show and had to put on white face and then over that put on the minstrel black makeup. Well, in the story of Sammy Davis Jenner, he did exactly that as well, back in the real world,

when they were actually doing that. That's a long time in the makeup chair. Yeah. Well, actually, Lenny Henry does a very, I think it might be his first concert tape, the VHS that was available. Lenny Henry doing a pretty good Steve Martin. Yeah, that's great.

That is worth you, Chee. It's the best a pretty good Steve Martin. Yeah, that's great. That is worth YouTubing. It's the best ever impression of Steve Martin. It's done by Lenny Henry. Yeah, it's really good. If you look away from it and it sounds exactly like him. And at a time when Steve Martin was probably, this is probably 1978, something like that, maybe 1980 at the time, Steve Martin probably hadn't even started making films. Yeah, right. He was probably just off the back of his record albums and maybe the concert show that was available.

His life stand-up. Right? Yeah. He was just a stand-up. Yeah. Well, talking about comedy, before we run out of time, this has been our latest little, talking of utter stupidity, which we've done all episodes.

Is this your Hall of Fame? This is our Hall of Fame. So we've, on the very... I've heard about it. There's a lot of talk about this. I hear that people are now trying to wangle their way into it. Oh, really?

Am I right? Really? Well, so we talked about this a couple of months ago about the fact that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is just a thing that someone made up and someone owns it and someone makes money off it. There's no, you know, the Beatles aren't controlling and deciding who's in.

You know, it's just some guy in Alabama that owns it and whatever and is deciding who goes in. So we thought, well, what's stopping us from being the gatekeepers? If we can't be one of the greats of comedy why can't we just control who does become the greats of australian comedy so we we bought the domain os comedy hall of fame.com and we've been getting on the socials and we've got uh trying to get it out there and we and we tried to make it like an interesting bunch of because they they always bring up the nominees so you can vote for who's eligible this year and all that. So we've got, the nominees we've got up for voting is Will Anderson, Carl Barron, Fiona

Lachlan, Dave Hughes. So we want to make it interesting. We want to try and get some fish on the hook and get some talk and see if some people react. So then we've got Dame Edna Average back-to-back with Hannah Gadsby, the two greats together. Ostentatious, Dickie Nee, Sam Pang and Nick Capper. So you've got characters as well. So you've got like Dickie Nee and Dame Edna.

You haven't got Barry Humphries. No, no, no, no. Who's that? Well, like, I should... No offence to you guys, but you're not in the list of nominees because you're not funny enough in the sense that it's not funny enough to have you be on the list of nominees. You're too genuinely deserving of being in the Hall of Fame.

Yeah, yeah. Which kind of goes against what we're doing here. Exactly. Like, you know, for example, we've got, you know, we want to try example, we want to try and convince people this is a real thing. So we've got stuff like little synopsis about Will Anderson, stand-up and podcast star, Carl Barron, laconic legend, Dame Edna, man in dress. Just little bits and pieces to entertain ourselves but to still keep it realistic for other people. Because so far,

Fiona Lachlan and Ostentatious have taken it seriously and asked people to vote for them on social media and stuff. So we're really hopeful Ostentatious, we really want to get him down for it. We've had a bunch of emails of people saying, if I come, all these people are going to be there. And I'm like, are you really thinking Dickie Nee is going to be there? Is that why you're coming?

When you say be there, what is this all about? It's a live event at the Comics Lounge on October the 22nd. We're doing a live podcast, but also, because we should say we're talking about it on here, but in terms of when we're posting about this publicly, we're trying to have it be separate from us. We don't want it to be clear that this is a thing that we're doing to give it away yeah yeah it's very confusing like we're talking about on the podcast we're not doing it publicly saying we're behind this we want other people to think this is a legit thing uh but then it's very

confusing because i've got two sets of tickets on sale there's tickets to the little dum-dum club live 12th birthday show and there's a set of tickets to the australian comedy uh hall of fame awards and so people have been buying tickets on that one and people been buying tickets on this one and just last night i i reckon it took me an extra hour to get to sleep because i was thinking what the fuck is going to happen when all these people turn up for the live australian comedy awards or whatever the fuck this is and then them going what what's this podcast? Everyone's going to leave unhappy. Sean, if you want to come down and drop a trade,

it's seeming like it's going to be an absolute shit show. Well, as usual, I won't be there. So, yeah, the votes are piling in. Like I said, some people are believing it. Some people are in on the joke. Are you getting updates on who's leading the polls? Or are we not going to know that until... I will say this.

It's in such a position where our webmaster has the control of all the votes and I'm not getting the updates. So I should probably ask him about that at some stage. We should get a little update. It would be good to know. But I will say this. Out of all the people that I've named there, and for all the people who are asking who's going to be there,

two confirmed nominees are attending the awards. Okay. Yeah. All right. Dicky knee. So there's no word yet as to if we're going to be running this like the MTV Awards and whoever shows up wins. Yep.

But, yeah. Best kiss being inducted into the Australian Comedy Hall of Fame. So are you going to say who they are? Look, I reckon you can, I think it's better to guess, I think, out of reading out those names. A. Tatius? Look. Plus one? Look. Yeah, yeah. His friend Sandy. He meant Sandy Gutman. I think out of reading out those those phrases atacious look plus one

look yeah yeah his friend Sandy he meant Sandy Gutman yeah now have you guys I know a lot of comedians in Melbourne are feuding with ostentatious

it's very common it's really a sign that you've made it in the business exactly it's a rite of passage it's like being asked for $20 by Greg Fleet you're right exactly have you guys had any

absolutely yes any trouble that's what started all this because every every couple of years he just pops up and has a big dig at us on on social media and we have no idea why we don't know why do you want to hear how i got into trouble with ostentatious please because i did this story years ago on a website that you contributed to sean called the scriven as fancy it was a humor writing website and i had a story called uh credit fluffing and it was because i'd been on thank god you're here and rebel wilson was on and shane bourne had said and here she is fresh from co-starring with nicholas cage and ghost rider and i'm going really and i've gone on to the IMDb, and Rebel Wilson was 35th in the credits of Ghost Rider

as Girl in Alley. I think she had one line, and Nicolas Cage wasn't in that scene. So I went, that's an example of what I was calling credit fluffing. And I use a lot of jokes at my own expense. I pointed out how I love to put that I was in the castle on my resume when in fact I'm in it for nine seconds and I have no lines. It's notable though.

But the one I talked about was Ostentatious who for years, I remember when you used to get the TV week, which was a magazine, he was always talking about how he was co-starring with Sharon Stone in Sliver. And when it came out, no one could see him in the film. And it was like, where is he? And it turns out he's one of the people on the screens. Remember how Billy Baldwin is monitoring, surveilling everyone who lives in this apartment

building, and he's got 30 TV screens. And apparently on one of those TV screens, you can see Ostentatious. So he's co-starring with Sharon Stone. That's very funny if Sharon Stone's uncrossing her legs and you can hear faintly in the background, oh, will Waller be there? But what happened was the film, so no one I knew could find Ostentatious in the film.

And then when it came out on VHS, we all rented it and we're going, where is he? And of course, because on Vs it was in four by three ostentatious because it's a widescreen film was cropped out of the film so you couldn't see him and it wasn't until it came out on dvd in correct aspect ratio so i just talked about this in this article amongst a bunch of other people who had done things like that including myself and it ended up in an e-book that I put out that I published myself. So you couldn't buy it in the shops like Sean's book, available now. It was just an e-book that I put out.

And then when I started on Twitter, which I think, oh, no, this was a few years later. This is about 2012. I get up one morning and there's a tweet from Ostentatious and it just says, Martin, when are you going gonna write another fucking book about what a cunt i am he kind of rules honestly i love it ever since then it's just been it's just been ongoing and he's but he has what was your response i think i said it's coming out next week. No, but then he had... He's probably joking. Is he joking?

I don't know. But he had multiple... Because I remember at one point... If he's joking, he's joking every day because this is what he does every day. I don't know how... Like, I think someone listening to this shared this whole thing or something like this

that talked about how we talked about him. And straight away, he tracked down this listener's phone number and rang him up in a fake German accent and tried to recruit him to the Nazi party or something. Wow. Look, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. It might be a Dada-esque joke. If this is all performance art, then he honestly is operating on

a level higher than anyone else. I don't know him at all. He might be the nicest guy in the world. Spoilers, he's not. His character is an aggressive character, so maybe he's just following through. Hopefully we find this out on October 22 when we get him down to the... Or is it Sandy Gutman? Is there a delineation

between the two like with Andrew Dice Clay? Yes. But as you know, like with him, it's like the longer you do something, you know,

the lines fade, the lines merge. Like if he's, if this is a character, he's been doing this for 30 years, this is a hell of a character to pull yourself out of.

Surely this is him now. So you're imagining him like looking in the mirror every night and being like, honestly, I don't even know where Sandy ends and Austin begins anymore. Absolutely. Presumably the Twitter account is under Ostentatious.

Well, that's the thing. Because I know people who have ended up blocking Ostentatious and then he comes at them with Ostentatious too. Yes. I think he's got multiple Twitter accounts. Do you remember this? Years ago there was a feud between him and Hannah Gadsby, live on Twitter.

I think it went for seven hours. Oh really? They were just going each other for seven hours. What was his complaint about Hannah? Not enough marsupial based comedy for his liking in there? Not sure. It was like they were fighting and i remember at one

point he goes yeah well i'll just sit down and enjoy my award that i won for best film at trop fest and then and then she's gone i've won awards in this century and it just went on and on for literally seven and people were calling me okay are you following this it was like a riveting live sports broadcast yeah well that's that's great because this is what he tends to do is he tends to throw a grenade. I think I'm blocked on every medium because every couple of years he'll throw a grenade at me or us

and then you go back and then he immediately blocks you and you're like, oh, well, what are we doing here? Like, if you wanted to start the fight, I'm happy to have the fight, but don't do that. But it is quite startling when it happens.

What, are you going to write another book about what a cunt I am? I go, whoa, how's this? And then you tell someone, you go, oh, you know, I've had one of those as well. And then I think Chris Wainhouse. There's various people who have been in feuds with him. Yeah, a lot of people. In fact, a lot of this awards is based around trying to get a rise out of him, basically.

But then the shame is I started all this up and then I've realized because Twitter and Facebook and whatever knows that I'm connected to these awards, he's already blocked me on all the platforms. And so it can recognise that the Oz Comedy Awards is basically me. So then Ostentatious can't see any of this stuff anyway. And I've had to shout out to listeners and go, can you pass this on? Because he can't see anything I create. Can you just copy and paste it and send it to him somehow maybe? So it's hard to get a rise out of someone where they can't physically see what's going on.

Well, there's a couple of weeks left. So fingers crossed we get to land this big fish because getting him into the show would be great. Yeah, well, once he gets the upcoming offer that he's about to get of an early morning jet star flight down to Melbourne for the awards, we'll see if he can resist that being put up in a two-star hotel in North Melbourne. Yeah, staying at the Formula One. Yeah.

All alone in Tullamarine, so, you know. Well, we've got to wrap up shortly, but I do quickly want to talk about the book before we get out of here, Tripping Over Mys over myself because uh yeah i'm about three quarters of the way through it it's great it's um yeah you basically i read a thing with you sean where you said you kind of wrote it for basically uh for comedy nerds right it's very like inside baseball it's the sort of thing i i would have loved to have read when i was 18 you know because i did read all those books did read all those books. I read all the comedy books. I read all the biographies and all the autobiographies because I was very interested in how you get there from here,

that sort of thing. I'll just say for someone three quarters of the way through, that bookmark there does not look like three quarters of the way through. Oh, no, that's a thing I was going to read out on the show. It's Sean describing the life of a stand-up comedian from when you used to go to gigs with people that were writing on Full Frontal with you. Yeah, proper stand-ups, not me.

And how depressing you found it all. It wasn't for me. I just knew that that could never be. It just seemed like a lonely life to me. Yeah. Because I was a sketch comic and I'm just working with other people. Yeah. But yeah, it's so good as someone who grew up on Full Frontal

and the McAuliffe program and stuff. All your behind-the-scenes stuff about it is great. There's also a lot of Tony mentioned in there. Tony, I brought that in for you. Oh, really? Oh, right. Is there an index? Can I go straight?

No. Check your name's spelled right. You mentioned that Tony was one of your kind of, and the D-Gen, one of your influences when you were starting out. Absolutely, The Late Show. Yes, I couldn't watch it. I was too worried about whether it would be funny or not. So I watched it towards the end.

What do you mean you were worried about whether it was funny? Well, I used to get, I loved comedy, but if anyone was about my age particularly in Australia it was like a bit threatening to me so I couldn't watch Comedy Company I couldn't watch Fast Forward

I kind of just not that I deliberately went out of my way not to watch it it was just kind of like oh no and Tone's a couple of years younger so a lot of the

a lot of the D-Gen slash Late Show I was the same I couldn't watch Full Frontal, mainly because of the quality. Apart from your bit. Also, the thing about the Late Show was it was live to air. So if something died, it genuinely died in the arse.

There was no cutting it out of the show or adding laughs. But there was the big gig before that. Were you not connected with the big gig? Yeah, I used to write for Glenn Nicholas. Did you? I used to write his pate biscuit. Really? It was sort of horrible.

It was basically Auntie Rotta. It was basically the Peter Sellers carried Auntie Rotta. You're very frank about in the book you'll mention a big thing that you did and then there's always like a half a page of just like who you've stolen it from. This whole book is a confession of stuff that you've looked at oh yeah absolutely yeah i and i think you know we're all product of our influences and you know you hope at some point you transcend them but uh i can watch my stuff now and go oh well that's clearly that's steve martin and that's you know john cleese and i can still see it. Yep, that's ostentatious. Hey, he had a way

bigger hit than I've ever had. Right, right. Just like you, he didn't write it. Oh, did he? No. Oh, who wrote it? Billy Birmingham, the 12th man. Oh, okay. I remember reading once that it didn't necessarily generate the royalties that it would

have if it had some music under it. If it had music under it, I think you get radio play royalties. The fact that it didn't have music under it means that... It's not registered with APRA. That's right. So someone didn't make as much money as they otherwise could have. If they had a little piano under it... If it had just a little bit of...

Yeah, a little tinkling of piano under it. That might have been Billy Birmingham's loss then, but rather than ostentatious, he didn't write it. Maybe he wouldn't be still attacking me on Twitter. Just made a little bit more money. Well, you're not helping with this. This episode is only going to make things worse.

You're not pouring oil all over the troubled waters there. I'm going to get an abusive message from at ostentatious7. Yeah. Sandy, if you're listening and it's any

consolation at all, I bought your record back in the day. I was, I reckon I might have been 19 or 20. Everyone loved it. So I certainly have,

I want to disassociate myself entirely from any of the negative comments that you may have heard in this podcast. Completely fair. I'll have them all. I'll take them in from Tommy. I'll cop it all. Two other quick little tidbits that I loved reading about in this book

is that the two of you were at one time working on a sketch show together called Mouse Patrol. Yes. That's right, the ABC. We were writing it at the same time that Chris Lilley was writing We Could Be Heroes. He was down the hall and we were... It was 2004 and what I always remember...

Speaking of the black and white minstrel show. Yeah, it was mostly blackface. But what I remember is the ABC said that they could only afford to make two comedy series that year, and if Kath and Kim went again, which they did, there would only be one. So it came down to us and Chris doing a show which was then called Australian of the Year. That's right. I think originally it was supposed to be one story on each person,

but I think in the end they integrated the story. The story I heard is the ABC Little Britain was huge and they wanted something, quote, like Little Britain. So they thought if they chopped up Chris's stories into sketches, then it would look... Because I think the titles even looked a bit like Little Britain, didn't they? With the camera going around on a track. And the lofty music.

That's very true. No, I hadn't thought of that. Yeah, so we lucked out. We didn't get... Mouse Patrol never saw the light of day. Well, when I think about it, maybe that was a good thing. But I have to say,

we have boulderized those... I've seen sketches from those pilots pop up on Mad as Hell. I used a bunch of them on Get This. That's true. One of our most popular sketches, Slim Shady Senior, was written for Mouse Patrol.

Someone's got to do a fan edit of just like lift the stuff out of Mad as Hell and get this and put together. Like when they made all the Beatles albums of everything from 1970 onwards. Speaking of the Beatles, there were two sketches that didn't make it in any form afterwards. One was Cesar Romero as an alien. So, you know, Cesar Romero from Batman. Cesar Romero as an alien gynecologist conducting a test,

like a, what do you call it, a reading of the baby inside the womb. What's that called? Ultrasound. Ultrasound, yeah, I can't even think of it. So there was that, that particular one. It didn't make it in any other form. The other one was about the Beatles, or actually about the Beatles Barkers.

So this was an album that came out where they would use dog barks to sing all the Beatles songs. This was a thing. Yeah, are you familiar with this? The Beatle Barkers. The Beatle Barkers. This was a thing. Yeah. Are you familiar with this? The Beatle Barkers. The Beatle Barkers. It was a big hit album. So I think in this version of it...

We had the Beatles reforming, but with Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr and then the dogs that played George Harrison and John Lennon. That's right. And going on tour. That's right. And then I think the punchline was that the John Lennon one got shot. No, no, no.

The punchline was, who was the bloke? Mark Chapman? He gets released from prison and he gets handed all of his stuff and he gets in his car and he backs out. He's accidentally run over the John Lennon dog from the Beetle Buggers and now the public hates him all over again. He looks out the window, oh, not again. How can I misremember that?

It's a much better question. I like how you say they hate him all over again. Like they've forgiven him. Well, he's done his time. I always confuse Mark David Chapman with John Hinckley, the bloke who shot Ronald Reagan. But one of them is doing an album. Yes. Am I right? He's out. Is it John Hinckley or is too Who shot Ronald Reagan But one of them Is doing an album Yes Am I right

He's out Is it John Hinckley Or is it Mark David Chapman John Hinckley's out Because he only shot Reagan He didn't kill him Right

So he's out and about Okay Yes that makes sense Just because he was A worse aim He's like out Yeah But one of them

It could be Mark David Chapman Still in prison One of them Is doing an album Of songs Yes Of country and western songs

John Hinckley is out and he's on the road that does sound like a sketch Charles Manson did a couple of albums didn't he when he was in prison I do like that both of you have

an absolute fondness for very old references and I do think that Night Train Horror did sort of miss a trick because they could have had some Lawrence Welk

and Fatty Arbuckle references in there. I do remember one sketch from Mouse Patrol was that we had a pest extermination company that comes to your house and gets rid of mice by constructing an exact replica of the board game Mousetrap. And so it could only catch one mouse at a time. by constructing an exact replica of the board game Mousetrap. Right. And so it can only catch one mouse at a time. So I remember we had to have that priced

as to what that would cost to replicate Mousetrap. And you went, okay, what scale should it be? Obviously the bathtub in Mousetrap has to be the size of a real bathtub, so you work backwards from that. Right. And we were told it was going to cost 50 grand to build. 50 grand for the huge the huge uh mousetrap replica

or a bit of boot polish over the road for chris early i think i know what we're gonna go with well i think the most expensive thing chris early show was the inflatable uh the castle that uh lifted off from its moorings i think that was oh yeah yeah yeah you also mentioned calling tony for advice when you had been asked to write a puppet show for Channel 7. Yes, we did. Which, again, I'd love to live in the alternate reality where Mouse Patrol and the puppet show both got up. That's when we met.

Yes. That's when we met. We had a mutual friend and he passed it on for Tony's notes. So Tony very kindly, A, read it, and then B, unlike me in Night Train Horror, decided to actually turn up and have a meeting. We had lunch together, didn't we? Yeah, at the Continental.

At the Continental. And it was never – oh, no, it was made. We did make it. It was made. I don't think it was ever seen. No, because I heard that this was literally the most expensive TV pilot or at least comedy pilot that had been made in Australia for a show

that never actually went to air. And I saw it, and it was hugely elaborate. It was like a science fiction... Good review for a comedy show, by the way. Elaborate. But it was on a massive scale. It was like puppets and animation, and it was all set in space, but it was about a TV network.

Yeah, they were essentially picking up signals from other planets of TV shows and then they'd just steal them and make the shows. So they were making shows like Mr. Red and they came down to Earth and they took, they kidnapped they kidnapped

Cameron Datto and they took him back to their planet and made him host a whole bunch of shows for them, then erased his memory and returned him to Earth. That was the plot line. And this exists? This was filmed?

Yeah, this got made and it was a condition of its funding because it came from a government funding body, I think, that it be screened. And it was never screened by 2007. Oh, my God. You've got to dig this up. Well, it's lying around somewhere. I guess...

Would it be owned by... Mike would have it, probably. Yeah, Michael Lewis was the man who thought it up. Yeah, I think I've got it at home on a VHS, but good Lord. We could induct this into the Australian Comedy Hall of Fame in 2023. There was sort of the rubbery figures level of

so they had to make them and you know they had to design them and then the world in which they inhabited had to be raised up a bit like the Muppet Show or a bit like

Sesame Street raised up so that the puppeteers could move things along and I think they turned I think we used John Howard puppet

in McAuliffe Tonight and you did the voice. Oh wow. Yeah. along. And I think they turned out, I think we used a John Howard puppet in McAuliffe Tonight and you did the voice. Oh, wow. Not realistically. It's mostly a lot of that. But that was pretty good. I remember that show as being pretty good. I'd love to see it.

Better in the memory. Alright, well that brings us to the end of the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Sean and Tony, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. I didn't know you were taping this. Tripping over myself, it's out now. Check it out. I'm really loving it.

It's great. It's through the good people at Hardy Grant Books. Thanks, guys. How are they to deal with Hardy Grant? They're great. Apart from the Kate McLennan mistake on the front cover, which I think is probably my fault. Yeah, and speaking of McAllister tonight,

a quote from Rove McManus, who you were head-to-head with at the time of talk shows. That's right. We're up against Rove and Denton. Oh. And he's sitting right here. How awkward. Sorry.

And of course, Tony, you've got your podcast, Sizzle Town. Yes, that's persisting. And I don't know when this will be released, but the latest one that comes out starts as a talkback show and ends as an episode of Stranger Things. So something for nerds there. And something I've been saying, and I promise we're wrapping this up, but very jealous of the sponsorship

that you have. Royal Stacks. Good place to be. A great burger joint. Just us, and us sitting here going, how, we need a sponsorship like that.

Our logo's a burger. Yeah. Now we're missing out on that one. Last time I listened, Dave Hughes' show was sponsoring you. Dave Hughes' show was sponsoring us? Yeah, maybe I'm listening to an old one. Last time I listened, Dave Hughes' show was sponsoring you. Dave Hughes' show was sponsoring us? Yeah, maybe I'm listening to an old one. Oh, maybe.

I mean, we do have that. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what that would have... I don't know. Oh, yeah, we... Oh, for... Yes, we were doing ads for his comedy festival show. Oh, right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think a lot of... A lot of people think we've only got Royal Stacks because it rhymes with stacks of slacks. Oh, yes. So there's a lot of people think we've only got Royal Stacks because it rhymes with stacks of slacks. Oh, yes. So there's a lot of people suggesting that Royal Stacks now make a stacks of slacks burger. I don't know what that would be. Yeah, yeah.

All right. We're going to wrap it up there, guys. Thank you very much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. And they've done it again. Oh, two big, big boys in there, eh? Look at that. Look at that.

Hope a bunch of you guys were excited when you saw that turn up in the feed. Two absolute titans. Again, and two guests as well. Yep, yep. Two bites of the cherry. The best. The best. I felt like I didn't get the love I should have got to start with,

so I thought I'd do it a bit worse and in front of less people. Yeah, exactly. And good to say on the air because then otherwise people will just say it in the comments. Well, people will probably say that anyway before listening to the app. Yes, exactly. And then within the first minute be like, I thought I was beating the boys to a good gag here.

Or, oh, they stole my joke. Yeah. But, yeah, very, very lovely of those two to lend their time. Exactly. This little show. And yeah, go check out Sean's book. It's a fucking great read. I want to lend that book after you, Tommy.

Yeah, yeah. I'll pass it over. Yeah, please do. I was kind of, I was about three quarters of the way through it. I got on Thursday, tried to power through as much as I could this weekend, looking for little bon mots to pick out for the pod. I mean, mainly just hoping there'd be some form of Dave O'Neill slagging off in there at some point.

He gets a mention at one point, and I'm like, oh, here we go, we're on here. But no, he just mentioned in passing. I thought maybe from when they did radio together, he might factor in in some way, but no, he's just, yeah. Damn. He's just mentioned in passing. Didn't mention anything, any bagging of Dave O'Neill on air. Just saved it for just then when we turned the mics off

and absolutely unleashed for half an hour on Dave O'Neill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really told us what he thought. Not cool. A lot of words we can't even say on this podcast. Yeah, he called him some slurs that I don't think even apply to him. Yeah, I didn't even know they were slurs, but the way he was intoning them, I'm like, well, that's got,

that must be a slur. The delivery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can just kind of tell. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you watching the cup without audio. Yes.

You can still, you can see by like, you know, facial expressions and stuff like that. You can, yeah. When you're a kid trying to learn, figure stuff out, you're like, ah, it all seems to lean in this direction. I assume that's like that. You can, yeah. When you're a kid trying to learn, figure stuff out, you're like, ah, it all seems to lean in this direction. I assume that's what that means. Exactly.

Yeah. That's Spiro Agnew. Yeah, he's a weird political figure. But yeah, fun stuff. And yeah, of course, October the 22nd, as we were talking about on the episode, you can come and see History Be Made. Yep. See, come and see, you know, like I said on the show, big announcement,

two nominees are going to be live on stage. Could there be more? Could we get the whole set by then? Oh, I think we could. Yeah. We got like two weeks. I think we could,

you know. Who would be the hardest out of the nominees to get live on stage in two weeks time or a week and a half really when this first comes out? Yeah.

Who would be the hardest out of all the nominees? I mean, I think the two that are hardest, it's not really to do with the amount of time. It's just like, you know what I mean? We could have six months and probably have the same amount of chance. Look, honestly, I would say it's a toss-up between Dame Edna and Hannah Gadsby.

Which one would be harder to get down? Are you saying women in comedy are difficult to deal with? Okay, that's interesting, Tommy. That's, uh, okay, alright. I guess you can have that viewpoint if you want. Not reflected by everyone on the show. Not me, I wouldn't say that. Certainly not on mic. Once I

hit this big red button and the red light's gone off, it's a completely different story. I'm just getting stuck into Dave O'Neill like there's no tomorrow, that's for sure. But yeah a completely different story. I'm just getting stuck into Dave O'Neill like there's no tomorrow. That's for sure. But yeah, no, truly. I mean, who do you think we would have? If it came down to us putting an equal amount of effort into getting Hannah and or Dame Edna,

who do you think would be more likely? In a funny way, I actually think we would have more chance of Dame Edna. Oh, really? yeah I was going to say well just geographically I mean Hannah does we have met Hannah before yeah yeah yeah look I don't know about you

I'm pretty sure you're in the same position as me I haven't spoken to her since she made it since she all blew up and you know we we knew her we knew her well enough before everything happened for her and awesome news for her and she's great um but i have literally not seen or spoken to her since that all happened so i don't know i don't know whether she even remembers the the not the not just the little people but the very little people like us well not even i just kind of get the feeling like us pitching this to her,

she'd be like, no, not for me. No, thank you. No. But, you know, Barry Humphries, like old school guy, just gets this email from admin at Oz Comedy Hall of Fame, Peter Warsaw and Jeff Keogh. Hey, it's this big illustrious thing and you're nominated and it would be such an honour to have you down.

Like, I can see that, you know, I can see that kind of registering i look maybe because here's the thing i think anyone of that generation is probably more likely to take it at face value right whereas hannah i think would see through it yes immediately whether or not she knew it was us i think she would like is irrelevant yeah i think she'd just be like this is a what is what is this? This is a fucking piss take. Yeah, I think we're being, so I've got the social media account on, I've got the Facebook and the Instagram page up and going and trying to, you know, reel in some fish. Yep. I'm not getting big reactions from some of them because I don't think they run their

own social media accounts. I had someone screenshot the account and send it to me. Somebody who doesn't listen to this and go, is this you? Which, that's depressing. That it shines through. It's not even someone who's got any interest in this show. It's so depressing that it shines

through enough that they saw through it immediately. Yeah. There was a there's a let's call them a comic that has replied did a reply on one of the social medias it was like that that was like yeah there's not really enough diversity like in the nominations and i'm like okay and then they go and then they just like drop a thing at the end where it's like oh yeah i know who's doing this and it's like well if you know it's a joke, what the fuck are you bringing up with the diversity fucking issues for? It's clearly a joke.

It is very wide. And sure, that's a fair criticism. And look, but I mean, anyone... Oh, sorry. Have you seen Dickie Nee's face? Have you? Well, that's what I'm getting to. You know, anyone can go, hey, look, let's get some people of color, like some different

ethnic backgrounds. But we've actually got different life forms. Ours is more like man in dress. Enough about Nukappa. We've actually got, we've probably got more diversity than just like having a tokenistic like. Well, Dame Edna, we've got, there's a bunch of ladies there. We've got Sam Pang there.

Yep, yep. Ostentatious. I believe he's Jewish. I've heard. I did some deep diving and found out he's of that persuasion. So there's enough

in our fake joke Hall of Fame nominees, isn't there? Yeah. And we don't, like I said, we don't know. Imagine if this was the thing that got us cancelled.

We get cancelled. Enough's enough, boys. No diversity on the Oz Comedy Hall of Fame nominees. Hang your heads in shame. Maybe we find out that, you know, Dickie Nee's actually Pakistani or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That could be a thing. No one has found that out.

Maybe that's our puppet of colour, POC. Yep. Very nice. Oh, boy. I was about to do a voice of Dickie Neen. I was getting a bit too swept up. I thought better of it. Do a Dutch.

Oh, maybe he's Dutch. Maybe he's Dutch. Yeah. Mr. Summers. There we go. That's something. Okay. Summers. There we go. That's something. Okay. All right.

Well, hey, whether or not you are able to make the trek over to the Oz Comedy Hall of Fame induction ceremony, what you can do is support the show on Patreon, which we very much appreciate. And, yeah, not only do you help keep the lights on here, you also get two bonus episodes every week, little mini episodes with friends of the show, special guests on there every week.

And in addition to that, perhaps more impressively, you go into the draw to get your name read out in this part of the show. Which is called? The Stuart Hall of Fame. That's right. Your own little Hall of Fame. There's so many Hall of Fames

we're in control of. This show is impenetrable to anyone who starts listening just now. Just so much going on. If you listen to this one as your first ever one, which, you know, you could

because you can show Sean McAuliffe. Tony fan, yeah. Yeah, oh, great. I love comedy. And then you get to this bit and you go, I did love comedy. Where'd they go to this bit and you go, I did love comedy.

Where'd they go? Yeah. Where'd those two big guys go? Why are they still talking? Why is there so many Hall of Fames in this show? It is funny to imagine someone like, you know, they hear the outro music start playing and we're rapping and I'm like, oh, cool.

And then just picking up the phone and looking at the podcast, I'm like, this is another hour here. Yeah, yeah. Two hours of talking. How long does this outro go for? Yeah. How long is this plug going to take? Yeah.

And they only start talking about Sean's book like 55 minutes into the show. They're talking about fucking theatre restaurants for the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all classic stuff. But anyway, look, Sean and Tony will be back in five minutes. They've just gone out to go to the toilet together. They've gone in there together. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They'll be back. Like girls in a nightclub yes they've gone to talk about which one of us they like more but look I'm sure they'll come back later to contribute to this yeah yeah yeah

hall of fame thanks thanks to everyone who contributes to the little dum-dum club patreon for for purely selfish reasons to get your name read out or for just, you know, the nice way of doing things, I guess, which is sometimes people hit us up and go, don't read my name out. And I go, I really have no way of policing that. Once your name goes in, I don't know how to put an asterisk on there.

And so don't read this name out. So your name will probably get read out yeah yeah here's a hot tip if you don't want your name read out on the patreon uh when you set up your patreon account put a different fucking name in there put do not read my name as your name yeah yeah yeah because yeah not only will you probably get read out but with some of your form in the past you might even get read out two or three times. Also, to those people who say, don't read my name out, why? Alien witness relocation, you know, some sort of like program? Or like, because that would be an awesome way of getting caught.

Like, you know, you're Olivia Newton-John's husband and you just fake your own death. And then you're living on some sort of Mexican island and then you finally get outed because you subscribed to the little Dum Dum Club's page. Well, you might have seen this yesterday. So I saw a call back to last week's edition of Talking Dum Dum slash the Stuart Hall of Fame. Yes. I saw Lucy Damon yesterday, who we talked about.

First cab off the rank last week. First cab off the rank last week. And I said to her, oh, did you listen to the episode? She's like, no. uh who we talked about first cab off the rank first cab off the rank last week and uh i said to her oh do you uh did you listen to the episode she's like no yeah i'm like oh can i get a photo with you for our socials and she's like why yeah i'm like oh and then i'm just explaining this around people who don't listen to the show just sounding completely insane yeah but she went along with the photo anyway and great good on her that's on the socials. That's on the socials. If you want to see what Lucy Damon looks like, what a great reason.

If you've listened to this pod the whole time and you've always thought, I don't think I'll bother. I don't think I'll bother with the socials. But now there's a chance to see what the great Lucy Damon looks like. You get to see what one other listener looks like. What a gift. A Patreon subscriber that apparently doesn't even listen to the podcast yeah pretty good which is like i don't know what

you're talking about and i was like but didn't didn't you wonder why you got an email from carl during the week yeah oh yes oh yeah i sent her a message she might i mean she's she's she's here from japan so she might not be checking work emails I don't know and she was like what? what are you talking about? and you're like it's me Tommy from the podcast what podcast? don't you

the dollop yeah well thanks thanks again Lucy for being part of more content let's go well maybe

should we theme this one? I don't know I don't know how do we crack in this week? I don't know let's see what comes up. You know what? Because we are running against the clock.

One of the listeners did come back to me during the week and say, I don't live in, what was the American city? Oh, somewhere in Florida. Florida, yeah. They didn't live in Florida. Oh, right. Yeah. Where were they?

He lives in Hartlepool in england okay damn damn up near newcastle it's up northeast that was the bit i was excited for the most yeah hitting the beach in florida but well maybe this will excite you i don't know if i've ever mentioned this we've been doing this so long i feel like i'm saying this for nearly everything i ever say but i know it's a i've it's kind of a bit like i I mean, you're going to say it anyway, but I feel it's like you're just giving a little bit of a, anyone listening who's getting annoyed, I'm aware, but it is such an irritating vocal tick to have developed.

Yes. But when you do 12 years of a podcast, you know, there's not every week when you do a podcast, it's not like 15 great things are happening to you every week and you're like, great. It's all fresh again're like, great. Yeah. It's all fresh again this week, boys. And hey, people have, you know, something that we mentioned in the second year of the pod. Yeah.

You come at it with fresh eyes. Yeah. A lot of people wouldn't have listened back. Or if they did, they listened to it 10 years ago. Yeah. But Hartlepool in England, the one thing I know about that town is that apparently way back in the day, 100 or 200 years ago, whenever it was, some sort of crate or some sort of small boat of monkeys washed up on the shore of Hartlepool. And they thought it was a bunch of spies dressed up in a suit because I don't believe they knew what monkeys were.

I'm going to be going there. Why are you spoiling this for me? Surely this is just on a plaque as I head into town. I'm warning you. I could have heard about this from a local. I'm warning you so that you can blend in as a local when you get there. Dress like a chimp. No, don't do that.

Don't do that. Right, right, right. Because the chimps washed up on the shore. The local Hartlepoolians didn't know what monkeys were, thought they were spies, and so hung them. Oof. Okay. Hung monkeys.

So then the Hartlepool people still copped this, because that's exactly how I replied to this man. And he said, oh, I'm actually from here. I go here i go oh yeah thanks for letting me know you monkey hanger and what he said back he was just like oh yeah cool i'm with sandy fuck you that was uh i think that was ken ken mcclure i think okay yeah yeah of course but anyway we're doing too much wrap up monkey we got to get into the first cab off the rank. All right. First cab off the rank. This week, thank you very much. And welcome to the Stuart Hall of Fame.

Thank you, too. Logan Husky. Now, that is a name. Well, look. I believe that might be a made-up name. Because I think that might be one of these people who doesn't want their precious little valuable name read out. And so I think that might be the name of their dog. I think that could be an absolute thing. So they've got a husky called Logan so I think that might be the name of their dog. I think that could be an absolute thing.

So they've got a husky called Logan. I believe that might be. Okay. That might be the case. I mean, where do we draw the line when we're reading things out like this? I'm happy to shout out a dog. Are you? I'd probably prefer to do that than most of the people that we read out.

I guess Logan. Let's do an all- all pets version of this one week yeah i'm sure okay i'd be down for that yeah but it's got to be a bit of a mix i mean i'm i'm a dog person so i'd love to have a couple of dogs in there but i'd love to get you know like a obviously a cat or two um maybe you know someone's budgie yeah someone's pet snake or like tarantula sure more kind of left of field, you know, pet choices. Yeah, sure. I don't know how we are going to make that happen, but it's a lovely idea.

We contact people up ahead, you know, a week in advance. I think that's what it's got to be. Right. You look ahead into the unplanned title alternator and you send a message and be like, hey, do you want you or would you rather opt in for your pet? Send us a photo of your pet and we'll rate it. And look, I could be just, you know, this could be completely wrong.

This could be their name. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe this is their name. I think we have to take it at face value and just assume that this is the person's name. I think we have to take it at face value and just assume that this is the person's name. I think that their email address has the name dog in it.

Okay. And then, look, I don't want to... I'm just looking at who else they subscribe to on Patreon. And do I read this out? Show me. That's, I mean... Okay. Yeah. You can, yeah, you can read that out.

I can read that. They subscribe to a couple of comedy podcasts and then they subscribe to a thing called Furry Comics and Illustrations. So they're a furry? So is that what's happening? So... Is this guy a furry?

This girl a furry? This isn't necessarily the name of a pet. This is like a... What it's called, I believe, is a fursona. Oh! What's happening? Is this guy furry? This girl furry? This isn't necessarily the name of a pet. This is like a... What it's called, I believe, is a fursona. Oh! So you have this kind of identity for yourself, which is what you would be as an animal. Oh!

So Logan Husky is the name of this person's personality. I guess so. Wow. If they've got dog in the email address then maybe this is like but i do like the idea that you're role-playing it to such an extent that you're even subscribing to patreons under the uh under the pseudonym of your of your yeah your fictional character yeah that's kind of cool it's like i don't know if that's part of a character you're not really a dog if you've got a Patreon account, are you?

I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Shouldn't you be worrying about saying woof woof and shit like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would like, I mean, more people, you know, subscribing under their like handles that they use for various different things online. I'd be down for that. Yeah, more people maybe subscribing under the name of their fantasy

rather than their actual name yep um that that's that's fine gary mcbig dick anything like that i was playing a uh a game online the other day with adam knox for our filthy casuals youtube channel and he has never been able to settle on a unified username for any games that he plays online so I was playing something with him the other day and his name on this game was just please I remember I don't know why this sticks with me but i remember way back in the in the very very early days of chat rooms i would for a long time i had my name was gent gent g-e-n-t yeah nice i don't know why i had a pretty embarrassing one me and my friend both had pretty embarrassing ones as our email addresses slash like msn chat username yeah i had hangman 3k what does that mean like you know the hangman

the like the game yeah but the hangman is meant to be isn't he like a the hangman himself is like the game is named after all right he's like he's like kind of death essentially okay he's like the executioner right and then 3k because it was like popular around the time to put like 2k because we're at like the turn of the oh yeah yeah and i thought because i was big into futurama at the time and that's in the year 3000 i was like i'm looking a thousand years ahead god and then my best friend pete his email address was the greek adonis at just like a 13 year old kid trying to take on that identity it's just so awesome adonis at oldmail.com. Just like a 13-year-old kid trying to take on that identity. It's just so awesome. Adonis at 13.

You're that kid when you're like that age who's like, yeah, I'm just going to get the I fuck persona like ready to go. You can't. Yeah, that's Adonis. Adonis. Yeah. Don't see too many 13-year-olds at my gym. That are just absolutely buff as hell.

You know what I love? I've got a very big love of at the gym, which is older blokes that come in that are like, all right, that's my news resolution, or they've been told this will be really good for you to go to the gym, but not committing to getting anything close to workout clothes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So just going there in the slacks and the polo shirt and stuff like that.

The work polo shirt at the gym is such a buff move. It's so grim. I've seen someone in there, an older bloke, with a business shirt on before. I'm like, man, what's... I'd like to say i get i i'd like to say i get it but i don't surely at some stage you go i can't wear a business shirt of course yeah did i tell you about the guy at my gym a little while ago who so like my gym is like you walk up the stairs then right as you go through door, there's like a row of shelves for just like your bag and all your stuff.

And then you have to cross the whole gym floor to go to the toilets. And so this guy comes in and it's as they're doing the intro to the class. So everyone's kind of sitting watching the trainer kind of talk through what we're going to be doing. This guy comes in in his work clothes and he just kind of stands in the corner near the shelves in front of everyone and just starts getting undressed. Oh, great. And changed into his gym clothes.

So it's like, and I saw this girl who was like sitting in front of, had her back to him, but facing the whole rest of the class. She kind of like gets distracted by the commotion behind her and turns around and sees that and then just like looks back

with this just mortified expression on her face. And then I'm midway through doing the class and i look over and this guy just left all his clothes just lying on the floor just a thing where sometimes you think to yourself like man i just can't function out in the world and then you see something like that and you're like i think i'm actually doing fine man my yeah my my gym bathrooms Again, I don't know why. I've always focused on this. There's just a massive sign in our one that says, no photography in here.

I'm like, who's this for? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's in there fucking? The person that was doing that in the first place, they're ignoring the sign. Yeah, yeah. I mean, using the change room at the gym anyway, like every now and then if I'm like,

I'm going to be here and then I'm going to be going straight there there so there's no other option for me but to take my stuff with me and get changed there but god i hate it it's always you know it's never the it's never the preference yeah i don't get changed there i just use the bathroom there uh but even that is like yeah that's enough like i'm like, I just want to piss off shit. I don't want to see this disgusting stuff on the way in. Yeah, sure, sure. Always like 60-year-old guys with bowling ball guts taking all their clothes off. I'm like, oh, fucking hell.

I just want to shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Well, thanks, Logan. Thanks, Logan Husky. Inspiring a beautiful tale. Old man shit. And, yeah, any. Thanks, Logan Husky. Inspiring a beautiful tale. Old man shit. And yeah, any other furries out there,

if that's indeed what you are, Logan, jump on board the Patreon. Let us know. I'd like to know, like, kind of, actually read the name and then I'll continue this thought. Okay. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Christopher Williams. Christopher Williams.

I would like to know, like, obviously being into a podcast slash this podcast is its own sort of subculture in and of itself. But I would like to know, like, what subcultures within this subculture we have. Right. Right. So how many Little Dum Dum Club furry fans do we have? And then maybe we could do the odd episode or Patreon episode where we just, you know, we just go, this one's just for the furries. Where we're going to get deep into like, it's you and me pretending to be a fox and a squirrel.

Just so that those like 30 people or so that listen that have that as their secondary interest, so that they can be titillated in some way. Maybe if we had, if we have, say, for example, five furries that signed up on the Patreon, we can read all their names out in one episode. We can video that week's one, put that on YouTube, and we can hire two costumes and be a big puppy dog and pussy cat or something. That's not bad. Yeah.

That's great. I'd like that. Just a Rose Chong's. What are you getting this for? Oh, for reading out names on a podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Got a costume party coming up.

Yeah. Not really. Yeah, yeah. I love that. reading out names on a podcast yeah yeah yeah yes got a costume party coming up yeah not really yeah yeah i love that and i just love that as an excuse to uh absolutely frighten the shit out of my child yeah yeah have her have her come home and me be dressed as a as a as a giant dog yeah yeah very amusing you think she'd be frightened or do you think she'd be sort of psyched? Depending on my actions. Okay. Because – Yeah.

Foaming at the mouth. Because we'll play. We play around and she loves it. Yeah. But then, like, if I become Daddy Monster, which is like – Too real. It's too real. Yeah.

When I start thumping the ground, like, if I get down on all fours and I start thumping the ground like I'm making big footprints. Yeah. It's like, this is the best. And then I start going, dum, dum, dum. And then she's like, ah! Okay. And then I scream and run behind her mum.

And then I have to go, hey, it's just me. And she's like, oh, okay. It was a prank. Yeah, yeah. And I fucking got you good. Yeah, yeah. Well, speaking of scary costumes what do you think about this my girlfriend got this from kmart the other day for the dog so

we've got a little dracula costume for halloween's coming up yeah it's he's got a little cape he's got the little it's got the like fake hands that stick out oh yeah um he drive him crazy because he wants to get them and chew them but he can't because it's on him yeah so yeah we're thinking uh just take him out trick-or-treating come october 31 do a little lap of fitzroy with our little dracula on a leash nice yeah what do you how do you think your daughter would respond to that uh a little dog dressed up as dracula i should be fine with that she's not probably across the law of um of dracula no she. Not a big Bram Stoker head yet. No, no.

She's more of a Mary Shelley head. Right. Yeah. You've got to show her Leslie Nielsen's Dracula, dead and loving it. Yeah, yeah. That's how I'll introduce her to the legend. Yeah, what is your intro to Leslie Nielsen? What's your in point?

I flipped across a little clip the other day of him. Because it's like, you know, you remember the naked... Every now and then that pops up. That's in my algorithms on YouTube. I'll get some naked guns and some flying highs and some police squad. But because I had ventured in on a couple of them, it started giving me little bite-sized clips of his latter days, which are not his finest hours.

No. He then... It's weird, isn't it, where he's then in these films that are like rip-offs of his films, but he's still in them? Yeah. Like you're wrongfully accused and stuff like that?

It's pretty funny that these people write these very bootleg script Zucker Brothers things and then come to him and be like, hey, look, I'm sure I can guess the answer. You're probably going to tell me to fuck off. Yeah. But would you want to be in this? And he's just like, yeah, sure.

Yeah. It's like, it's the same as what you usually do, but way worse. Yeah. There's a couple of real stinkers that have popped up. Yeah. Oh, man, this is beneath you, Leslie Nielsen. Which I've got to say, him saying yes to all that stuff, it's very funny. If you view it as a bit in to all that stuff it's very funny if you view

it as a bit in in in and of itself it's not bad it's sort of career dementia i think like a little bit because then he came back because then there was one of the was it scary movie like five or something where they went through a real shit phase and then i think the zuckers did one of them they did four or five and it was actually all right and he's in it as the president. Right. So it's a bit of like, it's that kind of gang back together. I think that's the one I saw. I thought that was bad. Right.

Yeah, I think I saw that one. I just remember at the time people were like, oh, this is cool. Right. Because it was the Wayans and then it was like those other shit guys

for a bit and then, yeah, there was one that's kind of okay. Right. Just, I mean, the mere fact that he was in it. Yeah. But hey,

it's not as good as him going on the talk shows with the fart machine. I did see a mere fact that he was in it. Yeah. But, hey, it's not as good as him going on the talk shows with the fart machine. I did see a clip of that the other day where someone actually got the shits up with him. Yeah, yeah. It's just awesome. Yeah. Not much to do with Christopher Williams, but... But, hey, what is?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, thanks, Chris. You know what would be good? Christopher Williams, because I'm like, well, that's nearly two first names. But, you know, your first name really is William. But Williams, that would be a cool first name. Williams is a first name.

Yeah, instead of William, Williams. Williams. Yeah. Yeah, okay. What do you think? Williams Smith. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. That's way better than William, don't you think? Yeah, yeah. No, definitely. Yeah. Such a small change, but it does make it a cool name. And then you can abbreviate it to Billy's. And just have your nickname as the plural of Billy as well.

Okay. Billy's. I've always... I've got a real fondness for the... I've talked about this before. Sorry. But I did pitch Billy as a daughter, as a potential daughter name. Love it.

And got absolutely shut down. Yeah, damn. Yeah, no good. Could have had a little Billy Chandler. Billy Eilish. Yeah. Could have had a Billy Chandler. What do you think about that?

I like it. It's a cool name. Yeah. Anyway. If I ever have a kid, I'm going to pinch it. This is your George Costanza soda moment.

Yeah. Billy Dasolo. Yeah, not bad. Yeah. Not too bad. That's a good that's a good uh that's a good stage name i mean you get tony a bit don't you which does fit dasolo better they're both italian yeah i wish my name was tony literally all of my friends just call me tony now and it's and i and i gotta say i kind of, I don't know, something about it.

I think I identify as a Tony more than a Tom. Yeah, Tony's a, it is a, I think it is a better name. It's a solid name. Yeah. Well, thanks, Christopher. Thanks, Williams Christopher. Thanks, Willie. Willies.

Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Jess Lukin. Lukin? Yeah, Lukin. Okay, L-U-K-E-N. You nailed it, buddy. You got it. Jess Lukin. Interesting.

I don't know what to make of that. Well, the thing I think of is that there was a very famous Australian weightlifter called Dean Lucan. Okay. That's all I know. Any relation, I wonder. There couldn't be too many Lucans hanging around, could there? It's a pretty strange sounding name.

Yeah. I'm going to... Not very common. I'm pretty strange sounding name. Yeah. I'm going to... Not very common. I'm getting in the millionaires group. I'm going to do some Intel. Hey, while you're doing that, I don't know what made me... I guess talking about the name Tom and whatever, this made me think of this. So the gig that I run once a month, we had it last night.

And my parents... Lives in Cork. Okay. In Ireland. Okay. Look at that. That could have been on your... She had been on last week's show.

You could have been flying to Ireland. I could be going to Ireland. Eh, could give or take it. Oh, yeah. Fair enough. Anyway, yeah, my parents came along to the gig last night. Let's do this. Let's...

No, I mean, I don't know. Is this interesting? Let's make a top 10 list of places you, countries to fly to. And then, and then, you know what we can do then one week? Or maybe a top five. So if we name our five countries, then we can find the subscribers that live in those countries. And then reverse engineer them like that. That can be our real show.

Wait, so we're campaigning to get more listeners in the country that we want to go to? Yes. Okay. And then not only that, not only get them listening, but then get them liking enough to subscribe $10 a month on Patreon. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, right.

Maybe we can put up some Facebook ads really targeting those countries, trying to get more fans in those countries. Yeah, any of them that are non-English speaking, we have to put up a... We find someone over there to translate the episode for us every week. I wonder if you could do that. What if you... Like, you know, with your Facebook algorithms, you can target certain places, right? Yeah. You can target certain places, right?

Yeah. So if we went crazy and spent thousands of dollars marketing an ad to Nigeria, just to build up the show enough to then go, cool, we can now go over there and play the Nigerian Bull and Mouth Hotel. It is. Yeah, it's an interesting experiment, isn't it? Like money not being an object where you just go, okay, let's put this shit to the test. How much can this really work?

Because, you know, Facebook wants you to believe that it is very effective and that it is worth putting the money in. But if you go, okay, I'm going to put in as much as I can into a place where I have no presence whatsoever. I have no presence whatsoever. And I'm going to every week funnel thousands and thousands into this to just see what, if anything, comes of it. And then you do that for six months and you can then just look on your podcast provider. And you've gotten not a single download in Nigeria. You then get to turn around and be like i mean that's worth the money like the press you would get out of that have been like i did this experiment and i'm here to tell you folks it is not worth doing any kind of it does not get you the results yeah there is no point in it is that how we finally get in the daily mail yeah yeah okay well um jess lucan she's in she she

lives in ireland but anyway back to what you were going to say before that oh so my parents came to the gig Tom Ballard was on dad shows up wearing a beret classic stuff I was going to ask why but I won't bother

it was a pretty warm day yesterday too I was like aren't you aren't you going to pass out aren't you not French and anyway Tom Ballard was on and he was trying a bit about how he's the fattest he's ever been.

And he weighs 124 kilos at the moment. And this was just a fucking beautiful, beautiful piece of work from the boomer generation. Just my dad after the show talking to him. And he's like, he's standing next to Tom. Tom's talking to someone. And dad turns to my mom's standing next to Tom. Tom's talking to someone. And dad turns to my mum and goes, how much taller do you reckon Tom is than me? Like three inches?

And mum's like, I don't care. And then dad like interrupts Tom's conversation to go, you're only three inches taller than me. And you weigh almost double what I do. And just Tom going like, what are you, like, I felt, this is me, I didn't get to say this to Tom at the time, but this is me publicly saying. I mean, I was just watching that interaction.

We've all been there on the other side of that. And it's like, what the fuck do you want me to say? Like, I'm up there talking on stage about how I need to lose weight. Like, I get it. Don't worry. Yeah, yeah. You're not the thing that's going to make me me go okay yeah time to straighten up and fly also my dad's really skinny so he's not like a fair you know what i mean it's like the truth is probably somewhere in the middle yeah

it's like i already it's like him going i mean i saw the i saw the sign on the scars it said 130 kilos but what does that mean really? Until it was put into perspective. When I was told that I weigh two Mr. Dasselos. Two 76-year-old men. That's too much. That's now too much. I mean, who really knows what 130 kilos means anyway? Yeah, exactly.

Fucking brutal stuff. That's like the old ad campaign of like, you know, you don't get hit by a tram because it's like fucking two rhinos. On a skateboard. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking brutal stuff. That's like the old ad campaign of like, you know, you don't get hit by a tram because it's like fucking two rhinos or something. A rhino on a skateboard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. That's like two Mr. Dasselos. Jesus Christ.

That's two. I've got to stop eating brunch. So, yeah, sorry, Tom. Sorry you had to endure that. Yeah. My dad is, once he's had about three conversations with someone, he's like, we're on here. I can say literally whatever I want to this person about their work, about their appearance. Great.

Well, Jess Lucan, Irish. The luck of the Irish is in this week. To be read out, yeah. Your name's come up. Tommy doesn't particularly want to come and visit you. No. You can take it or leave it. Could take it or leave it.

I'm not super fascinated, but it's not off the cards. It's the sort of place where, you know what, if there was someone, like a wedding happening there, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah. I can do it. I mean, also, if you're in Europe and, you know, once you're there,

it's like it is all pretty easy to, like, get around and dart between places. Yeah. It didn't leap out to me the last time I was there, but I wouldn't be opposed to it. I just don't really know what I would do. I would need to kind of know, like, a bit more, like, about, you know. You know what it would be if it was like i was traveling around europe and like i had to like deviate from like you know where i was going to be because like let's say a band that i really love was playing there and that was the only

option for seeing them was to like go hey look if i go and spend a day or two in somewhere in ireland right oh that'll be an opportunity to see them there yep that would that would convince that would be the thing I'd go okay cool if it means I can if it means like literally me not seeing them or seeing them in Ireland and then cool while I'm there I'll stay for another like two or three days right that would that would inspire me if I was like I think in my head it it suffers from like you go to they would hate this but it's like okay you go to, they would hate this, but it's like, okay, you go to England. Cool. Well, what about Scotland and Ireland?

Ah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I sort of saw a version of that, didn't I? I get it. Yeah, yeah. It's like, you know, you come all the way to Australia. Do you want to see New Zealand? I think I get it.

Yeah. It's all, you know, would you rather do that or go to Portugal or Spain? It's probably more likely to be the other way around. Yeah. I went to New Zealand. It's got a bit more nicer scenery. Yeah, maybe. Fuck Melbourne.

Yeah, maybe. But, yeah, would you rather... You've seen England, so you sort of, I don't know, maybe you've seen that sort of thing. Yeah, they truly would hate that. Yeah, would you rather go and do something completely different, go and see Spain or Iceland? Yeah, that's what I want to do.

Well, Jess, you know, who knows? Maybe I'll be swayed in the future. Maybe you can give us some reasons why we should visit Cork. Please give us the top five things to do in Cork that you think we would like. Yes. Don't give us what's on the postcard. Tailor it to us. What would attract me and Tommy to go to Cork?

Yeah. Thanks, Jess. Thanks, Jess. Speaking of Iceland, this came from the gig the other night, Basement Comedy Club. A friend of the show, Danny McGinlay. I found this very interesting or funny. Some red-hot gigs, and he was absolutely destroying it. I was saying to him, man the most informed mc in the

country danny mcginley i'll put it out there but sometimes you can get be sometimes you can go too well and start getting carried away with yourself yeah because he was going so well he at one point he gets up he he'd done the friday night show absolutely destroyed. Saturday early show, absolutely destroyed. So two red hot gigs under his belt within 12 hours. Yep. Gets up, or 24 hours, and then gets up and starts the third show and very quickly deviates into a routine that he just made up in his head about the English supermarket chain called Iceland and just did a bit on that that he just made up in his head

and uh he got to the end and was like hey you know that no one knows what the fuck you're talking about yeah just because you're having a good one doesn't mean you could just yeah yeah take a shit on the stage and go well you liked everything else I did well but yeah I mean that's the most unrelatable bit you could think of but Yeah, but that's classic comedy, isn't it? You get a couple good ones under your belt, and it works both ways. You have a couple of stinkers, and then you're second-guessing everything. But you have a couple of, you get some form going, and you're like, all right, the master is in.

I am indestructible. I can turn anything into gold. You're playing cricket. You just hit seven sixes in a row, And the next one's like, you know what? Maybe I should use my dick as a bat. Yeah, exactly. I'll just try anything. I can do anything at this point.

No, you can't. All right. Who have we got next? Thanks, sir. Because we have got to pick up the pace. Uh-oh. All right. The fourth one.

Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Kate Crook. Oh, yes. Crook Kate. Okay. Crook Kate. Crook Kate. Okay. Crook Kate. Crook Kate. This is good. I mean, I hope this isn't someone's fursona.

Oh, yeah. Well, it's not. A disgusting little rat. Nothing too furry about her. Kate Crook. Kate Crook. I'm a yucky little plague-carrying rat. That would be, I mean, depending on how old Kate is, I mean, I feel like Crook was an old school Aussie sort of in the vernacular and has come back quite recently.

It's come back in a big way. And I attribute it to... I know what you're about to say. Yeah. No, actually now I can't place the genesis of it. Okay. There was some specific story that did the rounds for a little bit there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was like someone at a gig doing something, some real rotten gear, and then the emcee coming on and going, yeah, look, it's crook what he's done. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that was the first time I'd heard it in a very long time, and that story did the rounds because it's also like what the person was saying was very funny and how crook it was it was some very racist gear

very racist gear and then that specific terminology was very funny and then yeah I feel like that I feel like that really brought it back yeah in our world in our world you can have I feel crook as in I feel sick or ill. Yeah.

But then there's crook as in that's not right. Yeah. Yeah. That is crook stuff. Yes, exactly. It's crook what he done. Yeah, it's crook what he done. And by all accounts, it really, truly was.

Yes. It was someone... Yeah, what was the story? It was a rural gig and someone who clearly didn't do stand-up came down and just really went some race-based yeah hate yeah and then just the funny thing well i guess the normal thing to do is to come up and really sort of go i'm so sorry for that everyone to just say that was crook it's crook what he done i mean it's rare that sometimes like a lot of times,

those stories will, you know, by the time it's gone through like 10 people in the retelling, the exact phrase is kind of like morphed a little bit. But that's one of those ones where it's like the specific phrasing of it is so key to what's funny about it that every word in that sentence has remained intact in every retelling of the story. Yes. It's crook what about it. Yeah. That every word in that sentence has remained intact in every retelling of the story. Yes.

It's crook what he done. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's crook what he done. Yeah, yeah. Because that's what it was. It was like, by the time the person got off, the audience were like,

you know, there was chatter in the crowd of like, what the fuck are we witnessing? Yeah. So the MC gets back on and there's still like a bit of a, there's a bit of low level of noise

in the room of people discussing it. So it's sort of mc being like yeah don't worry i get it yeah yep no it's crook what he done yeah yeah anyway it's um it was uh maybe the mark of someone who was going yeah an mc that was sort of going yeah it's it's but it's not the end of the world you know yeah we'll be all right yeah we've all gotten a great story out of it so you gotta you gotta look at it that way you gotta keep positive in these in these times yeah kate crook i mean yeah that is that is good because it's also it's um it's very also what she's done to her surname yeah it's not crook what she done to our Patreon. No.

Because also, you never hear it used in this term anymore as like a slang for like a robber or a criminal. Yes. Crook. A crook. A crook. You don't hear that on the news. Yeah. What a name.

What a word. There's a lot going on. It really is. It might be the most versatile word in the English language. Well, in the Australian vernacular, maybe. The Australian English language. It's crook. That was crook.

I feel crook. And there is a crook. Yeah, so sick, improper, criminal. Yes. Pretty broad. Yeah. Yeah. All sort of, you know.

All your last name, Kate. Yeah. All sort of, you know. All your last name, Kate. Yeah. All bad things. And when you think about it, they are all sort of, you know, they are all getting across essentially the same message. It's a shame that there's not a meaning in there. Well, you've also got the shepherd's crook. Oh, yeah.

I was going to say it's a shame there's not like a positive usage of it. I guess the shepherd's crook is probably the closest to that. Yeah. Well, yeah. I was going to say, it's a shame there's not like a positive usage of it. I guess the Shepherds Crook is probably the closest to that. Yeah. Well, not really. Especially in comedy because that's like pulling you off stage. When it's being used for, what is that meant to be used for? Yeah. I always think that like these names, like, you know, that's my concept with at least

girls' names where, you know, if you have some sort of, like Myrtle. Yep. Myrtle is a first name. And you go, oh, my God, that's the fucking worst name of all time. What an old grandma name. But then you see that on, like, some young, extremely attractive girl,

and you go, yeah, it's a pretty cool name, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty nice. Yeah. Myrtle's back. Yeah. Yeah. Maud Apatow yeah

pretty hot yeah maude yeah maude yeah who never would have got who had money on that coming back yeah um me when she was in funny people um but kate crook see that that would be a cool name for an attractive person. All of a sudden you go, Kate Crook, and you go, yeah, that's real crook. Yeah. Yeah. It's crook what I'm doing right now. I'm thinking about it.

It's crook what I got in my head, that's for sure. Oh, yes. Yeah. I like it. It's a snappy name, Kate Crook. Yeah, it rolls off the tongue. Kate Crook. Yeah, there's so much to like about it. Again, I feel like it's too's a snappy name, Kate Crook. Yeah, it rolls off the tongue. Kate Crook. Yeah, so much to like about it.

Again, I feel like it's too good to be true. I'm trying to not buy into it too much because... It's a good stage name. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine if you come on with... Tony Crook. Yeah.

Kate Crook is good. That's a good stage. If you're not... I never suggest people get into comedy, but Kate Crook, I'll make an exception for you. You should. I think you should get into it. Please's a good stage. If you're not... I never suggest people get into comedy, but Kate Crook, I'll make an exception for you. You should. I think you should get into it. Please welcome Kate Crook.

Kate, please welcome. Kate Crook tonight. Kate Crook. The Kate Crook Show. Yeah. Crookie! I like it. Yeah.

Well, thanks, Kate. Thanks, Kate. See you on stage. All right. Well, let's do one more. What are you doing? You're running late for something or you're running late for lunch? Have you eaten, Tommy?

I haven't eaten, but I literally am running late to go and do my other podcast across town. Uh-oh. How late are you? I have to be there in 15 minutes. Uh-oh. And it's like a, I don't know, minimum 20-minute drive, I reckon. Okay. Right. All right. So weminute drive, I reckon. Okay. Right.

So, we've got to keep this one short. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah. We'll just do one more. I feel like we've actually done longer than we normally do, like two names, don't we? I don't know. I don't really listen. I don't listen back.

Right, right. Yeah. So, we should keep this one. I can't count, so. Even though I edit and listen back, I have no concept of how many we've done every week. Wow. Yeah. So we should keep this one. I can't count, so even though I edit and listen back, I have no concept of how many we've done every week. Wow. Yeah. That's actually the first time I found that out,

that you can't count. Yeah. Sorry. I know we've talked about this before, but I can't count. Couldn't tell you how many times we've said it, but I know it's come up before. Okay. All right.

Fair enough. All right. Well, we'll just do – how many have we've said it, but I know it's come up before. Right. Okay. All right. Fair enough. All right. Well, we'll just do – how many have we done so far? We'll just do one more. Okay. We'll just do one more. Yeah. And what is that one more going to be?

That's the question on everyone's lips. Is it? Is everyone asking that? Yeah. I think everyone gathered around the old Yui Boom in the communal podcast listening room in their house. Oh, on the Sunday night? On the Sunday night, yeah. Well, I hope you're all enjoying it as you're listening to it and as you're preparing to listen to the last one that's coming up, very, very...

I might just start packing my stuff up and getting ready so that as soon as I hit stop, I can... I mean, I can just pick this stuff up and we can just do this in the car on the way if you need more time. Can we? It's not that I need more time. What's it got to do with me needing more time? Well, you're needing more time to wait for the unplanned title alternator to spit the name out. Oh, I didn't even think of, like, there's no way. I was just sort of talking naturally.

Oh, you've got it right there. It's been here the whole time. Yeah, right. Well, what is it then? Yeah, okay. Well, just, you know, given that we don't have much time, I'll just pick a short one. Okay. A short name.

Yeah. All right. I'll just pick a short one. Okay. A short name. Yeah. All right. I'd really appreciate it. Those milliseconds are really going to come in handy. Okay. All right. Thank you to Patreon subscribers. Oh, hang on.

They've made a request. They want their middle name read out as well. Okay. All right. Thank you to Adam, Benjamin, Felix, Gideon, Israel, Jesse, Jonah, Camille, Nathan, Ruben, Phineas, Stefan, Zakaya, Amel, Daniel, Havala, Jaden, Jared, Joah, Jariah, Lucas, Omar, Ruel, Ram, Tim, Zachary, Andrew, Eli, Gad, James, Jason, Joel, Kenan, Nebo, Sargon, Seth, Tyrus, Lion, Luke, Noah, Simon, Titus, Levi, Jonah, John, Elon, Darius, Asher, Aaron, Jaden, Abram, Bartholomew, Elijah, Gabriel, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Jonathan, Joshua, Mark, Moses, Peter. I'll read a bit quicker. Saul, Solomon, Tobiah, Abner, David, Ezekiel, Jacob, Ishmael, Job, Jude, Josiah, Matthew, Noah, Samuel, Raphael, Thomas, Zebediah, Abraham, Ebenezer,

Emmanuel, Isaac, Jebediah, again, Jonas, Joseph, Michael, Matthias, Paul, Philip, Simon, Timothy, Zeke. Comedy. again Jonas Joseph Michael Matthias Paul Philip Simon Timothy Zeke Comedy Thanks Mr. Comedy and thanks everyone who supports the Little Dumb Dumb Club

on Patreon October the 22nd littledumbdumbclub.com get your tickets to the big live 12th birthday show slash

Oz Comedy Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Thank you very much for listening, and we'll see you next time. See you, mate.