The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 628 - Josh Earl & Sonia Di Iorio

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

This week we're joined by JOSH EARL and SONIA DI IORIO! Dassalo's fake surname has been held up to intense scrutiny by his girlfriends family, we try and establish a ranking of who is the most Italian person on the episode, Chandler's run into a crazy person on the street and had a tough time negotiating with a Bangkok comedy club owner, and as our big "Induction Ceremony" gets closer, we iron out the last few remaining details before showtime. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a great new episode with guests Josh Earle and Sonia D'Orio. We are a mere few days away from our big live show, our 12th birthday spectacular slash induction ceremony for the Oz Comedy Hall of Fame. That's right. And of course, Tommy, that is brought to you by Comedy. And that's Comedy, C-O-M-E-D, triple Y dot com dot au, the new big name in comedy online. So they're bringing this live show to you. It's on October the 22nd on the Saturday night at the Comics Lounge. Come down. It doubles as our 12th birthday.

littledumbdumbclub.com. Get your tickets. We'll talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dumb Dumb. But until then, enjoy this great new episode with Josh Earl and Sonia Diorio. Hey, mates, welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo, and with me, as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. And joining us today, two very special guests. Please welcome back onto the show, Josh Earl and Sonia Diorio. The dream team. My two favourite ethnic comedians.

Italian and Tasmanian. Well, I feel like a real honky over here, what with you, Daslo, being there. Yeah, exactly. As my mother would say, the two itis over here, the Taswegian over there. And you from Maryborough. The Maryboroughite. Yeah. What is a Maryboroughian? Is it Maryboroughian? I guess. I don't know.

I don't know. Living in the middle of Maryborough, you don't really need to know what that is. Yeah. No fellow Maryboroughian is saying, what are we called? Which part of the boot of Marybury? You're saying they're not really thinking that much up there. Oh, man. No, they're thinking.

They're just thinking shit. Yeah, right. Yeah. My girlfriend got a phone call a few nights ago from, or a little while ago now. I went to, her family's from Perth. I went back to Perth when we did the podcast. I did my solo show there.

My girlfriend's mum. Congratulations. Thank you. I heard great things. Yeah, it went well. I heard nothing about it. Sorry. Didn't rattle the front page of the papers while you were over in Edinburgh?

No. Didn't make it? No. It's a shame. Didn't – not the Napoli times? No. Maybe Il Globo, but that's it. Yeah, yeah.

One of us has a great gig over in Perth. Yeah, where's your national pride over there? One of your little guys has made it. Tall poppy syndrome. We think it's bad here, but over there, it's even worse. Tall papa syndrome. Tall puppy. Where did you perform?

In Fremantle? At the Oasis Comedy Club. That's not Fremantle. I didn't say it was Fremantle? At the Oasis Comedy Club. That's not Fremantle. I didn't say it was Fremantle. No, I'm saying that's where all the Italians are. That's where you should be performing. Oh, is Fremantle a heavy Italian population? Really?

I think, or I made that up. That's the Little Italy of WA, is it? Yeah, you should go into the smack bang of the Little Italy. Okay. Well, I mean, yeah, that is the kind of vague area that my girlfriend is from, and she's like an eighth Italian or something like that. Wow. Yeah.

But, yeah, her mum came and saw me do the gig. And then afterwards, apparently, like my girlfriend gets this call, deep heated discussion in the family house, because my girlfriend's mum is living with her mum at the moment, and huge argument about what my surname is. Oh, all right. Massive, massive fight because the mum goes to the show,

please welcome Tommy. She's like, okay. And then me and my mum. Hang on, hang on. So at that stage, she didn't know what your surname was?

Well, I don't know where, I don't know how she got her wires crossed. I would think that like spending time with me. How long have you been out with your girlfriend for? Coming up on three years.

Three years. And so your surname had not come up. I was just like, I'm with Tommy now. Just the Madonna of comedy, Melbourne comedy. Well, yeah, I mean, it does kind of seem weird, but then it's like, what mother is like,

oh yeah, you seen this guy? Tell me his surname. Yeah, I'm going to need to see his driver's license. Yeah, yeah. My mum would be like that. Oh yeah, okay. Is he Italian or Australian? The two ethnicities that exist in the world. Two genders, that's good. Everyone in this world is either an Italian or an Australian.

You're either one or the other. So, yeah, apparently hated argument at the mother's house, the mother-in-law's house, the grandmother-in-law. They're arguing, had to get my girlfriend on the phone. Because I just heard my girlfriend from another room one night just be like, oh, no, it's like a stage name. Like on his driver's license it says Allsup. I'm like, what fucking conversation?

Like how's this come up? And then got a card from... No daughter of mine is living with one of those greasy little people. Well, I can also understand the argument that it's like to a certain... You know, when this is your daughter you're talking about who's dating someone. I can understand the mentality of perhaps being like, well, if he's not being honest about this, what else is he doing? You know what I mean?

I can understand a personality type that would consider that to be a red flag. But your girlfriend knows your name, right? She was like finding out on the phone. Well, no, she got brought in to settle the argument because I think they were at loggerhead. Huge disagreement in the family house. So you have don't say her name. Tommy doesn't know his name.

That's how it works out. Yeah, yeah. Don't use my name. Maybe she was disappointed because she heard dasolo she's expecting this big wog guy and then he's like oh this looks like an aussie cunt i like the little pause where you're like how am i going to describe him she hasn't met me before this but maybe she was thinking like you know she hears dasolo and she's like wow those you know those lockdowns you know, she hears Dasolo and she's like, wow, those lockdowns,

you know, people, it's quite a common thing in Melbourne. A lot of people went to psych appointments and came out with an ADHD diagnosis. It's like me going to my shrink. I got bad news for you. You're Italian. I can see it like, I mean, you know, say five years ago, I wouldn't be able to see it. But you would like the thick glasses, bit of stubble. Like I can sort of see it like, I mean, say five years ago, I wouldn't be able to see it. But you with the thick glasses, bit of stubble, I can sort of see it now.

If I'd have met you now and you got a DAS lighter going, no problem. Being bald is a very Italian move. You reckon? Don't you think? It doesn't hurt. I think it's the hue of my skin probably gives it away. But you know, is it the actor Stanley Tucci? Yeah, that's it.

That's what's going on. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what's going on. That's it? Yeah. Yeah. That's actually what I'm going for. Right, okay. He's like one of the few men who's bald and has glasses and manages to pull both off without looking like a pedophile.

Right. They're rare in this world. There's not many of them. Yeah, yeah. So you've got to latch on to it. Yourself included. I am bringing down the side. I'm trying.

I'm wearing the same stuff as him, but somehow just on me. It brings it right down. It doesn't help that we're in the man-child cave full of fucking toys at the moment. They look like lures. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then not long after this, I got a card in the mail for my birthday. Congratulations once again.

Thank you. Killing it. From my girlfriend's grandmother. Oh, yeah. Big card. Open it up. And it says, Dear Tommy. In inverted.

So it's like now even the first name's been thrown into question. I thought you were going to say all of a sudden sticky taped and it was like 100 lira or something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's a lot of money. I would like to see her go the whole hog and have happy birthday. I bet it's in like fucking January or something. But is Tommy your real name?

Thomas. Thomas, exactly. Oh, he's lying again. You fucking double liar. My whole life is a lie. I should do one of those Ancestry things To just find out You know if I have even

A little percent Yeah Skirrick in there Yeah One hundredth Nah I can tell you don't Let's both do it

I'm keen to find out Myself as well 99% from fucking Maryborough Yeah But where's the other percent from? Carisbrook Which is next door Yeah do you know much

About your family history? There is. I possibly have more Italian in me than you do, I reckon. Oh, my God. We've got to do this. Oh, my God. How long do those things take to do? I don't know.

If we could have the results happen live at this show on Saturday, that would be awesome. This is what I don't understand. You send saliva. But how do they do it from blood? Surely it's like you've got to go family free stuff. I'm going to have to insist on sending my cum. I'm sorry.

What happens there when you do that? Can they do that? That's weird if they go, we can figure out you're from France from your saliva, but if you cum in it, we've got no idea where the fuck you're from. I mean, I don't think it's that they couldn't figure it out. I just don't want to be handling your cum.

I don't think they want cum sent in the mail for some reason. No, I'm going to have to do this Jared Leto style. I'm sorry. I will be posting you my cum. I once had to do a cum sample and I live right near the place I was doing it. That's convenient. I just shot it through the window.

That's why you picked the job. You said you can do it here or you can go home. I said I'll go home. So I went home, did it straight away and then went back. And the woman was like, that was quick. I'm like, I had nothing else to do. This is what i was doing today she wank shamed you yeah man she looked at herself going am i dressed too provocative did she have a fucking stopwatch going i don't know she was just working i reckon it was like 10 minutes how quick was it just out of curiosity what did you what had you what what were you doing it was in before the internet at

my house how are you inspired? Some magazines, Carl. Oh, really? Some magazines. Some purpose-built magazines? Or some big boobs? How big were the boobs? This is the weirdest thing. So I didn't have any porn with my ex.

And then her ex-boyfriend left a bunch of his magazines at her house. Oh, my God. Secondhand porn. And she said, you can use these if you want. Oh, my God. She kept the porn. She kept the porn. She never threw them out.

That's how she remembered him, by his porn. Yeah, so I got his, and, you know, we had the same taste. Oh, did you? Of course. Yeah, yeah, right. That's like the mum throwing out the comic book collection that's then worth millions. It's like, oh, go to your ex-girlfriend.

I can't believe you threw out my pornos. Yeah. Well, were they in good condition? They were fine. Not after he was finished No it all went in the cup I've had to do the sample I've talked about this on the show before

But I had to go in This is a while ago now And it was like yeah Little room And it is stressful Like being in that room And knowing that there's like A waiting room of people

That are waiting to come And use the room And just see you go in And so there's just like a A timer going on How long you're going to be in there Yeah But for me at the time i was living with my then girlfriend in a share house so i was like i was just wrapped to have that level of you know it's just all for me it's ready to go i was like this is this is a treat yeah yeah anyone comment can i come back tomorrow

i don't remember anyone commenting but i do remember having a TV in the room That had a DVD in it And it was very weird that you just turn the DVD player on And then you're just starting right at the point That the person before you wrapped up That's brutal Was it a bit like, I better wait a bit longer in here So people don't think I'm so quick

You know when you go to the museum And you look at the pictures longer than you really want to In case someone's looking Was there a bit of that? I'll give it another two minutes just in case. Yeah, you know when you're in the NGV jerking off over sunflowers? Just like they do like the changing room at their clothing shop. Are you all right in there?

Can I get another couple of cups? I'm having a really good time in here. There's Rembrandt. I mean, I love these curvy ladies. Have you got any other tests That you can do It didn't look like a Jackson Pollock before But now And they'll never let you back in

To Brosnan I blew on I blew on blue poles Well yeah You and I getting the The ancestry test Cause I Yeah I've never been that interested

But I'm gonna do one for my dog I'm gonna get a A DNA test for the dog because he's a rescue. I want to know a bit more about what's in the mix. So me and him going in together. He doesn't look Italian either. He's real laughing. A bit Maltese.

I mean, he's hairy, but that's about it. Yeah, that would honestly, I can handle that. Wait, does he hump a lot of things? He certainly does. Yeah, there it is. He's got a little giraffe that he likes humping. Okay. Maybe I'll get him a little gold chain. Yeah, if I just started trying to make my dog look more Italian.

Die is for black. Oh, the dog boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's horny, he's hairy. Yeah. How much does he eat? He's not, yeah, that's where he's letting himself down at the moment. Possibly not Italian.

Yeah, you can put his food out and he's not going straight for it if he's not hungry. He'll just leave it there for a couple of hours. There's your test right there. Yeah. So you were just back in the mother country. Yes, I was. You absolutely loved it. They were asking about you.

Were they really? Yeah. Did they ask about me? No, because you don't have the surname. Well, no, no, but apparently the surname That goes back is Gervasoni That's where I'm from The Gervasoni Carl Gervasoni

Yeah Okay So great great grandparents Something like that Something like that Yeah Yeah no No heat on you

Over there No I don't I don't have too many Italian vibes I don't think No you don't My wife's Italian Yeah So something

That's not blood That's I hope But That's a hope. But it's like balding. It passes through the mother's side. So Carl's daughter is Italian. Skips a generation. Who do you think's more Italian? I thought it was an STD.

I thought I might have caught it. Who do you think, Sonia, is more Italian out of me, Carl and Josh? If you had to rank us in terms of Italian-ness. In order. God, imagine doing this with any other race of people. Who's the most black ambassador in 10 years? This is going to be brought up in some court case. I can't wait to have Cheney and Ronnie back on the show.

I'm 100% Italian. I can decide. Yeah, exactly. Well, I'd probably have to say Tommy. Mm-hmm. Right? Because I'm like forward public facing, like pretending to be. Yeah, you've got the surname. You're obsessed with food. You've got the look.

You've got the look. He's got a look. I don't think me and Josh have got any form of look about us. No, no. Josh is charming though. There you go. You heard it here first. But you're probably more horny.

Thank you. Oh, you're saying Italians are charming, are. But you're probably more horny. Thank you. You're telling me you're charming, are they? Yeah, in between the two. I will, if I see a beautiful woman, I will tell her she's beautiful on the street. Really? No, I won't. But that's something your people do. I wouldn't say that that's what they do. More like

grabbing their crotch, but that's the equivalent of telling someone they're beautiful. Their own crotch or someone else's crotch? Their own crotch, yeah that's the equivalent of telling someone they're beautiful. So you're grabbing their own crotch or someone else's crotch? Their own crotch, yeah. That would be barbaric. I like the criteria that you break. You're like really boiling this down into like a BuzzFeed quiz. Are you charming?

Are you horny? Also, I'm pretty happy to be number three, the least Italian on the list now that I know what you think of Italians. I'm talking about men exclusively. You're fat and you love grabbing your dick. You're Italian. It's true.

Yeah. Well, that's, you know, my wife does that a lot. So that's why she's Italian. Have you been there? I have. Oh, it's so fucking good, man. It's pretty good. I loved it.

I hired a car. Nearly fucking died. Okay. They're on the other side? They're on the other side. I almost said the wrong side. Everything is opposite. There's nearly fucking died. Okay. They're on the other side? They're on the other side. I almost said the wrong side. Everything is opposite. There's no fucking rules.

Yes. I didn't know how to reverse. It was fucked up. How was the food? Amazing. Was it amazing? It was. Or is it just as good as it is here?

Well, I mean. You're disqualified. You're not Italian at all. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. here well I mean you're disqualified you're not Italian at all I will say we are spoiled in Melbourne there's a lot of good Italian food yes the food in Italy where I went was exceptional however I had just been in Scotland okay so my it was a bit skewed. My taste buds, they'd been all fucked up. That's a good call, actually. I did really enjoy the food in Italy, but you're right.

We are spoiled here. You just walked through the Sahara and you got a fucking cup of mud to drink and you're like, oh, my God. It is good advice. Travel to Italy and give yourself like a palate cleanse. Like don't go straight there from Melbourne. Give yourself somewhere in the middle where the food is absolutely shit. Where the best fucking thing is deep fried haggis balls.

How the English and Scots do their breakfasts is just an abomination. It's so bad. There's this shitty piece of bread with beans on it. It's just awful. It's just so bad. In my breakfast, it tastes like cardboard. But it was like a cafe you'd look at. And if you saw it in melbourne it would be a good cafe they made us this scottish breakfast and they're like do you want any sauce like sauce to pour over your eggs and stuff and

we said no which is a mistake it's the driest fucking thing i've ever tasted. Yep. How can an egg be dry? It's coming out of a pussy. Exactly. All right, you're back in. That was a very Italian statement, IMO. So then when I hit Italy, the first meal I had. We're at Chicken Lays, it's eggs. It's pussy.

Don't be wrong. Just sitting in a cafe in Britain eating eggs on toast. Oh, that's lovely. That's fresh out of the pussy, isn't it? Oh, yeah. You wouldn't be complaining about it being dry. So, this is my theory. Some pussies are dry, man. Hello?

Not in my experience. These three guys don't know about it. I'll believe it when I see it. All right, all you fucking Italian stallions. Boys, straight after this, we're heading to Chapel Street. Windows down on the sportage. We're going to have the time of our lives. Oh my God, he hit the voice.

Rough. So this is my theory in Italy. It's all nothing particularly better than food here, but it is of a very consistent standard. It's all like the really good- It's hard to find shit food. Yeah, the really good food here, it's like that everywhere over there

and it's way cheaper. I think our worst Italian here is still probably way worse than the worst Italian you would get over there. Does that make sense? Yes. I reckon we're capable of scraping the bottom of the barrel in a way that the Italians would not allow themselves to.

I'm thinking on the opposite way of it, which is our best Italian is just sort of everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it's like an amazing pizza here that'll be like $28 or something is their normal $10 pizza over there. Yeah, yeah. I'm watching the last season of The Great British Bake Off at the moment and there's

an Italian guy on that. He's like deep, like super into the heritage like amazing cook and there's just something so funny about him preparing these like beautiful meals

and then the gall of a British to stand there you just see on his face like the fucking gall of you to tell me what's wrong

with my panna cotta fuck off yeah no worries I'm Carl Lewis winning the 100 metres final I've been disqualified by Stephen Hawking, have I? No worries. Quinton's weighing in.

Well, I was on my way here. Is it common knowledge what suburb you live in? Are we allowed to say that or not? We'll just say the north. The north? Yeah, the north. The inner north? Yeah.

Should we say that? Okay. I've been giving people your address. Is that wrong? Which people? Everyone, man. Josh? So it could be?

I mean, that's brutal because no one's taking you up on it. No one's turning up. I think we can reveal the suburb. Yeah, no worries. I could go there whenever I want. No interest, honestly. Yeah, no worries. I could go there whenever I want. No interest, honestly. Yeah, I know.

Fair enough. Look, you don't want everyone door knocking until I finally find the one house. Yeah, exactly. It's got the big Italian stench in it. Let's just say Melbourne and even that I'm not wrapped about. Yeah, right, right. Just look for the Ferrari parked outside.

You just follow the car going... Yeah, follow the smell of marinara sauce. Yeah, yeah. So I was walking here today and I was like thinking, okay, what have I got in my sleep? What's happened to me this week? Oh, what can I talk about? And then I walked right in the middle of...

The reason why I try not to drive around, the reason why I take public transport and walk places so you can see an experience fucked in the head things happening generally directly to me so this is what happened when i was walking down very very close here is you know when you walk along and um you accidentally get in the slipstream and you and like say someone will cross the road or you'll cross the road and you accidentally start walking side by side to someone and then there's that brief couple of seconds where you've got to decide whether you're going to speed up or slow down and then they're doing the same thing and i got trapped in the in that stream with this guy and we're just walking

at the same speed but the thing is the guy i'm walking with is absolutely off his fucking head. No teeth, big beard, you know, some low-grade chemistry involved. Yeah. Where would you rate him on the Italian scale? He's the mayor of Italy. More Italian than anyone here. Okay. Interesting. Even me.

Maybe more than you, just because he was expressing things with his hands quite involuntarily, I would say. The hands were flapping everywhere. Where was he? Honestly, like half a block away from you. That's my dad. Yeah, no, he looked a lot like you. No, he didn't.

He was very wild-haired, very scruffy, very poorly dressed, very frantic, all of that stuff. And I'm side-by-side with him. I'm like, oh, my fucking God. And so then he just starts yelling. He's already yelling. Again, maybe Italian because the language I did not understand. So big chance. We're yellers.

Yeah. Loud talkers. Going mental and going mental at me and I'm just going, yeah, yeah, mate, yeah, yeah. I'm just going to agree with this guy. He's just yelling stuff at me. There was a lot of, I couldn't understand a lot of the words, but a lot of it seemed to be doing with, something to do with violence that he'd perpetrated on someone else. So I was like, yeah, I don't want to fight against it.

I'm with you. Sounds good. Whatever you've done, I'm sure it's the right person. They've done something wrong. So I kept going and he's at me and at me and at me. And we get to a stage where the footpath goes a lot narrower. Okay. Form one lane.

Exactly. Exactly. I wish they had, you know, when the roads do that, they'll indicate which part. It's like if you're on the left. It's time to get your shit together and get in. God, I wish they had that on footpaths. If you're on this side, fucking get your act together and move over.

Walking next to this guy, I wish they had a fucking turnoff. Because I'm just like, oh, fucking hell. And then the longer I walk with him, I'm going, you know what? I actually relax myself and go, because I'm thinking, how do I get out? Do I fucking take off, bolt one way? Because this is great. Feeling trapped when you're the most mobile you can ever be you're on foot you just don't understand how you were so trapped well i'm walking and when i'm free will just stop walking

pretend you've got a phone call oh i better take this yeah your shoelace so many options here's the thing so that all will jump in front of a man. That all whirls around in my head. But then I'm like, I'm this close to this house. I'm going, well, I don't really have anything to talk about. I'm a slave to content. Okay. You know what? Fuck it.

I'm in. Oh, I thought you meant you're just going to lead him to me and then I can deal with it. No, no. I'm about to bail out. No, I'm like, you know what? Okay. So then, you know, we form one lane and then he's waiting for me to go first. I'm like, yeah, perfect.

This guy who is absolutely off his head is going to be directly behind me and i'm going right well i guess i'll start thinking about how to relay this coward punch story on the podcast yeah so he's like hot on my back just like still yelling going crazy and i'm just sitting there going yeah you know what i'll just keep saying yes and something's gonna happen like i'm sick of this by now fucking hurry up and hit me bring it on like i'm sick of waiting for this just like do something escalate or leave me alone yeah yeah yeah i'm annoyed at this let's get it over with yeah and then we get through the little but the thing is we go through the narrow footpath and some other people are coming my way and i'm like oh i reckon this will probably scare him off a little bit because now there's witnesses so then we get through and then he just sort of i don't know

maybe gets bored and then just sort of takes off off the side there's another guy walking the other way uh um past us and he goes past that guy and sort of gives him a bit of up and then the guy goes just sort of like freaks out and keeps walking and then the crazy guy just goes what the fuck did you say to me and then the other guy goes i didn't say anything i don't say anything and like runs and the other guy so then the crazy guy goes to sort of half chase him and then the other guy just bolts and then the crazy guy turns back around starts walking next to me again and i'm like oh what now and then he goes, nah, I like you. You're a real man. You didn't run like that, cunt.

Wow. Then goes, nah, good for you. You're a real man. If anyone tries to fuck with you, you know what? Tell me,

I'll fucking kill him. That's cool. All right. And then walks off. So I'm saying, just choose your words carefully today, guys, because I've got a little homeless meth guardian angel on my side.

He's a fucking bodyguard now. What could have happened there? Do you know when sometimes animals will see another animal and they can't attack it but they'll just attack whatever's closest to them? That's what could have happened to you. That guy saw the other guy, went to attack him, went, oh, it's too far away and just fucking clocked you one and you would have to deal with the other guy's fucking mistake.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he thought I was being very brave or something. It's like, mate, I needed something for the pod. Yeah. I think running away is cowardly. Wait until you hear my actual plan. Yeah. Riffing about you.

Without you being here. Well, face to face, you know, sounds good. Sounds great, sir. Great story. Mate, you should have invited him on. Yeah. Oh, man. I was in Perth about a few weeks ago.

And the Perth crazies, they do it at a whole other level. Like I was staying in Northbridge there. Northbridge at night is just – Why wouldn't you be outside there? Like it's a nice warm night. I've never been asked – the guy asked me to buy him a coffee and he had one of those massage guns on his shoulder as he was doing it going to get a coffee

and I'm like oh no you're right and then I was like thinking it's stressful it's stressful being homeless

you fucking need to get a massage gun but yeah it'll get you all if you have the coffee like just relax it'd be great if that became

the new thing massage guns for the homeless chip in oh where do they charge them though yeah true they'll find a way that's I was I was the homeless chip in oh where do they charge them though yeah true they'll find a way

that's I was I was the crazy guy in a situation the other day I was in my car and I was driving along I've got the car play in the car

so I let texts come through it get a little notification that I got a text it was from a number that I didn't have saved so I hit it and it like

the Siri thing like speaks it to you like and it's a text message going like hi Coll, Colleen. We've finished repairing the necklace. Just wanted to let you know that it's going to be an extra hundred dollars. Hope that's okay. But it's going to be ready to pick up from Thursday.

So it's like this has just gone to a wrong number. And in the middle of that being dictated to me, a car like a big truck like pulls in front of me like parallel to traffic like perpendicular to traffic so it blocks the traffic the driver then just like gets out so just like all of a sudden we're just like stopped in traffic i can't move and i'm like already running late to something so i just flip out i'm like what the fuck like i'm just yelling at the guy like with the windows up but still just like getting really worked up like Like, are you fucking serious? What the fuck are you fucking doing, you stupid cunt? And then I hear from my stereo, I hear Siri go, your reply says, what the fuck are you fucking doing,

you stupid fucking cunt? To a wrong number about a necklace. Wow, that's a hectic. I bet Colleen got $100 off though. I bet I didn't charge her the extra $100. I bet, yeah, happy to help out Colleen. Did what I could. Well, talking of, yeah, a bit of Perth talk already,

but to talk more about my girlfriend's family. Because, yeah, she grew up in Perth. And when I got together with her, she – You didn't know. Pardon? You didn't know. That she was from Perth. She was hiding it from you, like your surname. Yeah.

I broke one of my core tenets when we were together. I never date someone from Perth. Yeah, yeah. But she was mentioning to – her sister's a little bit older than her. She was mentioning to her sister that, you know, she's like, oh, I'm seeing someone. And her sister kind of has sort of worked in and around the arts for, you know, most of her adult life.

So she tells her sister like, oh, I'm seeing this guy. You might know him actually. You might have, like, you know, encountered him at some point. His name's Tommy Daslow. And her sister goes oh no do not date that cunt yeah what so then i'm like well what what's happened here yeah and she goes and now i don't have any memory of this story but apparently i had met her sister back in the day like long long time ago first time i ever went to perth to do gigs by myself didn't know anyone there and there was like actually there

was like maybe one or two comics that i had like met briefly when they had been down here for gigs yeah so i was kind of hanging out with them and you know just sort of yeah doing stuff with them during the day and then back back when you hadn't taken the vaccine, you're still yelling your jokes through windows at comedy clubs over in Perth, yeah? Long bobe. Way, way before the pandemic. Yeah, so I was apparently went and hung out with this person, my girlfriend's sister,

and she was telling me a story about how she had been hanging out with this guy and she kind of wasn't really sure what was happening with him and, you know, she really liked him and was like, yeah, I just, you know, I want to know, like, I don't really know what's going on. And apparently I have just gone, I think it's obvious, he just wants to fuck you. No memory, got no memory

of this interaction at all but she's had buried away in her head this little cunt for most of her adult life and then one day you who

guess who comes she remembers that comes back into her life and I was like oh my god you gotta tell her that I'm you know

very sorry about that. I've changed. Yeah, and I don't think anyone wants to fuck you. Is that else? Well, this is funny because that might not be what happened because I found out that there's a story about me going around that didn't happen. Okay.

Michael Hing told me this. Yeah. Because it just came out and goes, I remember. You killed it again. Yeah. How droll. He said, remember in 2014 It's been in the grass

Where we were all standing Watching Outcast And you pissed your pants And then you yelled out Spicks and specks And I'm like What? I did not piss my pants

I pissed on the ground Yeah And then got up And yelled spicks and specks Yeah But he said No no You pissed your pants

I'm like I did not and i have to go around to michael hing tell everyone that you've told i did not piss my pants it's kind of the story though i knelt down one small detail you unzip but this is the thing you gotta be that's where you've got to be really careful with doing anything like this is that like a cup is like a perfect thing a perfect small element that is just so easy to leave out of a retelling like you know if you're yeah i think that's worse what pissing in your pants you got your dick out in public yeah whereas you could have just privately

what pissed my pants without exposing yourself outcast just stand there and watch Outkast with pissy pants. What did a cup do to you as a kid? I agree with what you're saying in the sense that the fact that the penis is being exposed, that is an unfortunate element. So in terms of the world around you, pissing your pants is probably the more polite thing to do. But in terms of how it paints Josh, making the decision to just go, I'm just going to piss my pants is pretty bad.

Yeah. Because we had good spots for Outcast. We had good spots. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave. What did you do with the cup? Just tipped it out on the ground. Yeah, okay.

Yeah. Right. So, okay, so you pissed into a cup and then you... I knelt down. There were people around me. So, like, I wasn't just out in the open. Oh, creating a barrier yeah

just pick Greg Larson was there so the cup was hiding your masculinity yes Greg Larson Brendan Maloney how big was the cup

the cup was huge dollhouse teacups alright it was a thimble okay I had it I was going through some papers before

like a poly pocket playhouse wow so I'm there in my stein You've gone through some papers before. Like a Polly Pocket Playhouse. Wow. So I'm there in my stein. And I got stuck. Breaking the edges of it. Yeah.

It's very funny that it's like truly the most embarrassing element of that is you yelling out Spix and Spex. Yeah, it is. That's not up for debate. There's no contention there. I thought that was very funny because I did something wrong. I went, oh, I'll. That's not up for debate. There's no contention there. I thought that was very funny because I did something wrong and went, oh, I'll just put my hand up for it.

Because that's the same as me. I'm sure I've told on this pod before where there was a story about me that was like one night at the Exford. I'm sure I've told this probably multiple times, maybe. A gig at the Exford Hotel in Melbourne

and I walked over a guy that had just been, I walked past a guy that had just been I walked past a guy that just got killed or something like that and then I was like oh my god what

such a great detail to be vague on dead or something they were dead in the expat I don't know I don't know if they no this is outside

on the footpath oh fuck yeah I think I think they might have ended up dying and then because that stage has seen a lot of deaths

yeah and then we then I went inside because it was next to the expat there was a gig on I went in there and then because that stage is in a lot of depths yeah and then we then I went inside because it was next to the X there was a gig on I went in there I went in there

I was like what the fuck just happened they're like oh yeah this guy just got stabbed and went outside blah blah blah I was like

oh my god and you guys are going to do a gig now and they're like yeah I'm like fuck that sucks good luck with that

and just left and that turned into a story about me being on at the gig and being too scared to perform because there was someone got stabbed. And so I ran away. I was like, no.

And like, even if that was the story. Yeah, cool. I'm fine with that. Someone got killed at a gig and I left. But it's such a classic. It never does you any favors in a story that you're disputing the truth of when you have the caveat of like, and even if I did, like the fact that you've already thought about the defence to like if you had have actually done the story,

I think that's the moment where people go, okay, you did it. It's also such a crazy comic thing of like, no, the open mic will go on regardless. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't care if fucking 10 people are dead. Stage time is stage time. And also, no, this could still be a good gig.

We all have mental illnesses. We all need a laugh. Business is just for absolute crazy people. Everyone was sad there for a minute. We've all been a bit sad because of the man dying. But everyone needs, let's all cheer up. Come on, guys. It's so confronting.

I mean, it's not going to bring him back to life. He's an example. We're not here on this planet forever. Let's have a good time while we're here. Exactly. Exactly. It's a here on this planet forever. Let's have a good time while we're here. Exactly. Exactly. It's a great timely reminder. Yeah.

Hearing a story back about yourself with like one or two details changed that dramatically alter it. God, it's confronting. Because it's like, yeah, all that happens is like, yeah, your example, Josh, is the one little element. One little thing. You did. Because you did. You saw the dead body. You were in the venue. You were at the saw the dead body. You were in the venue.

You were at the venue of the gig. You know what I mean? Yeah. But all that has to happen is just like one, someone just changes the intent and then all of a sudden. It's a good punch up because that is a good story. That's a better story. That's a good story.

Whereas the story of me seeing a dead person and saying, everyone okay in here? I'm going home. Not much of a story. Well, I don't, I mean, with my one, I don't have enough of a memory of the situation of saying he just wants to fuck you. Right.

To dispute whether or not I actually said it. I have to just... To be fair, it does sound like that he just wanted to fuck you. Well, this is... So I had to, like, really humble, like, you know, apologise through my girlfriend to her sister. Like, we're fine now. We get on well.

But then like one day, like down the line, I got the courage to be like, to just say to my girlfriend, like, out of interest, like, because this was a guy that I knew that vaguely that she'd been seeing. I was like, out of interest, what did happen? Oh, they slept together one more time And then he never called her again Right So

So I I was Correct then And she's like Are you sorry or not? Like you can't be You can't be apologetic I'm sorry and correct

The entire book of He's just not that into you You just summed up He just wants to fuck you He just wants to fuck you You don't need to read that book Sometimes he just does Yeah

Take it out on him Not me Yeah I felt like My very vague memory of it Is that I was It was me He just wants to fuck you. He just wants to fuck you. You don't need to read that book. Sometimes he just does. Yeah. Take it out on him, not me. Yeah. Yeah. I felt like my very vague memory of it is that it was me and I was the only guy in this discussion. So I was trying to come at it from the male perspective. You know, we're animals.

From the planet of Mars. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I was just trying to help. Yeah.

And now I've been tarard for the rest of my days That's a long grudge For a little thing Like I mean I've got some But that's a long one For not much It's fair enough though

Like if you're You know If you're If you're like Super infatuated with someone Yeah Then someone boils it down So like

You know Clumsily Clumsily But you know It's realistic But I'm also sure She wasn't holding the grudge either She was just

The name got brought up again. He was like, oh, this cunt. It is very funny to be like that, me saying that in a conversation is reason to not date me. Like that's in any way indicative of when truly the red flags are fake name, fake ethnicity, do a podcast. It obviously didn't, it wasn't a successful conversation to say to your now girlfriend,

well, don't date him because one time he said someone wanted to fuck me. Oh, well, stay away from me. You're right, it is offensive when there are so many like legitimate red flags about me that I've worked very hard to cultivate. You could have chosen anything. Yeah, exactly.

He's bald. He's bald he's bald look at him well that you might be a more of a chance with the sister because if that's the only thing she found wrong with you maybe she thinks everything else about you oh god absolutely what a pivot maybe she thought you were negging her. Yeah, could have been. I actually have never had it. Is that an anecdote to say someone wants to fuck you? How dare you? Take that back. He said he just wants to fuck you. Implying he's not interested in your personality. Yeah, yeah.

I feel like, I mean, this is the complicated thing is that I've only, this discussion has only happened like through the intermediary of my girl. I've never talked to her sister like one-on talked to her sister face-to-face about this. This has all been communicated via a third party. So maybe, yeah, I don't know. Maybe if there's Christmas drinks or something, I just get leathered and just bring it up at the table. Maybe she'll ask you.

I didn't really think he wanted to fuck you. I was doing it to pump up your tires. It's a spot on Tommy impression. Maybe she'll ask him for some new relationship advice. Sorry, I have a bit of an Italian accent in there. Yeah, that's a pretty, what do you think? That's a pretty Italian move. It's very honest.

Yeah. Absolutely. Obsessed with rooting. Fucking brutal. Cutting straight to the heart. It's just very brutal. Yeah. I hang out with a lot of Italian men.

I know. They just want to fuck you. That's very brutal. Yeah. I hang out with a lot of Italian men. I know. They just want to fuck you. That's the kind. Oh, okay. That's why I'm not surprised at this information. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Not a romantic species.

Yeah. Well, here's something coming up for me. Long-time listeners of the show will know. A couple of months ago, I started talking about going to Bangkok. There was a big Jetstar sale on. I tried to get Tommy in on a podcast festival in Bangkok. He was too busy. Someone's got to save Zelda.

So I got a bunch of people on board. And it was Blakey. It was Kappa. It ended up growing and growing. We were sort of thinking, maybe we could get the festival going or something happening. It would be great. And we all jumped in.

We had to immediately get the fares before it went up in price. It was $250 return. So then all of a sudden I grew up into a group of 10 people. And so I was sort of thinking, I can just buy the fares and I can tell my wife about it later because we'll probably do a podcast, something going on like that. And as long as it's work, my wife's always like, oh, it's work, this is what you do, it's your livelihood or whatever.

So then that got taken off the table. So then I'm like, okay, now I've got to pivot and think of something else. And so then I'd been talking to the comedy club owner over there and explaining the podcast to them. And they were going, okay, and they really couldn't get their head around a podcast where people would want to go to see it. Which I'm like, oh, so you've listened. So that took a long time, this guy.

And then eventually then I sort of had to go, okay, so that's not happening. So maybe we could do a stand-up show because that is something that he could – because every time I talk to this guy about the podcast, he was sort of like – and he just kept sort of saying so this podcast that people can listen to for free people will pay to go and see it i'm like yes but why would they do that and he just kept drilling me on i mean like it makes sense yeah yeah yeah i get it i get it but i'm just telling you here's the evidence it has happened all right yeah and this can happen

for you. And so finally, when that got dropped and turned into stand up, he's like, all right, now I understand. I understand what stand up is. I can deal with this. I can do this. I'm like, can't just open the door and take the money on the way in. Like, you don't have to fucking understand the culture of any of it.

All right. Just give change. So anyway, so that turned into that. So then it was sort of like, all right, the Australian people, comics were me and Kappa and Blakey. And so then we were like, okay, well, maybe we could put like a three-man show on sort of thing. And the guy was like saying, we'll do Aussies in Bangkok or something.

And he goes, oh, yeah, I know the Australian football league team over in Bangkok. I can get them to come. I'm like, oh, my fucking God. There we go. This will be interesting. So then that all happens. And I'm like oh my fucking god this will be interesting so then that all happens and I'm like all right well maybe now I've got that that thing so then I've I've I've

waited ages and I've said to don't say no my wife I've said I had I I I didn't tell her at the time so then I've turned into turned the story into well look this Bangkok club has hit us up expressly to request that we come over and do this show and she's like okay and i'm like yeah so i think we're gonna go and do it like i'm just waiting on it to be confirmed because like i'm waiting for the club owner to put it up in advance and he's just like no it's fine like he's fully on into the thai culture of like no we'll just do it when i can be fucked doing it. Yeah. Do it on the day. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So it's like, he's like, there's no rush. I'm like, man, if you could help me out here, because at the moment I've,

I've got this story where there's no corroborating evidence. I just need something, just a fucking Facebook post or something. And, uh, he's like, no, I'll do it.

That's fine. That's fine. So he's like doing it at like the last minute. So then I'm saying it to my wife. Okay. Yeah. I think this is going to happen. And she's like, what do you mean you think it's going to happen? I'm like, oh, well, we're just waiting on this.

And she's like, and then you're going to buy like airfares to Thailand for this thing. And I'm like, yeah. And she's like, okay, well, I'm checking the prices now. And it's now $1,200 to go there return. And I'm like, yeah. And then she's like, and how much are you going to get paid for this one off gig in Bangkok to like 80 people

I'm like oh he hasn't mentioned that yet but yeah we're going to $1,201 yeah yeah still making a profit yeah yeah yeah

I'm still putting food on the table don't worry very cheap food but yeah sure so then I'm still I'm going back and forth with the guy

going fuck and put something up and then on top of that now Capra and Blakey are coming back to me going, oh, I don't know if we'll go anymore. I'm like, man, you got to fucking do it. Like I've got,

I've put all my hopes on this one gig in Bangkok that this cunt won't put up publicly. And now you guys are going to pull out. I can't go, I'm not going over to do a one man show to the fucking Bangkok AFL football club. Why not? Yeah.

No. But was it 10 guys or 10 people? and now it's just the three of you no so they're still going but i haven't got a way of explaining why there's another seven people coming now because there's like milan coming yep and a couple of mirabara mates and uh yeah a couple of their mates and stuff like that so it's all a bit like it's going to be very hard to explain at this stage i've like i've thought oh this will all work out and i'm getting to the point now where it's like no this is actually going to be quite difficult to explain at this point so and but the thing the thing i'm really i was really worried

about is milan because milan's coming so people people that listen to the show know that Milan is like the big sort of, I guess, he likes to make everyone have a good time when we go out and drink and stuff like that. And so he gets pretty full on. And I legitimately started having a few sleepless nights where I'm like, Milan is going to get us arrested. Something's going to happen in Bangkok and we're going to be in big fucking trouble. If you're lucky.

Yeah. We're going to be in big. That's If you're lucky. Yeah. We're going to be in big... That's best case scenario. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just above that is war crimes tribunal. Yeah. It gets worse and worse from there. Yeah, yeah.

It's going to be like really big trouble and I was really worried. And so I'd been sort of trying to be nice and talking to him going, you know that the rules over there are different to here. Like you can't do... You know what you do here? That's bad here. But it's worse yeah it's worse over there can you not do can you gotta calm down you can't go fucking

too berserk this is a waste of breath yeah this is all going in one ear and out the other i know but i was like i was trying to scare him straight you need to record these conversations so that in court you can be like i did my best before we went. I tried to, I wasn't complicit. Yeah, because I started trying to scare him straight. I started sending him documentaries about Bangkok prisons. To like, what happens when you do the wrong thing? Banged up abroad. I went over to try and do a podcast.

And now I'm in jail. Milan would run the jail though within two days. Oh, absolutely. He'd have the best time in there. The guards would love him. Yeah, yeah, yeah no that's a fair point no i'm sending him those videos and going man this is what happens he's like oh that's pretty funny i'm like that's not my point like this is this is really bad and he's like oh no you know it'll be fine i'm like man this is what happens if we're in melbourne something bad happens the cops come up i'm like

i got your back buddy if that happens in Bangkok, I'm running the other way. You know what happens over there? It's like if someone gets in trouble and then I come in and go, what's happening here? It's like, two of you cunts in jail right now. I am not doing that. I'm fucking getting the... Man, I mean, we hated lockdown, doing Zoom every week for two years.

I'm not doing Zoom from fucking the Bangkok Hilton for like 20 years. I can't do that hilton the bangkok hill that's the nickname for the do they have uh podcasting privileges in prison exactly no do you want a conjugal visit no but i want to record the podcast do you think i'm doing it i'm walking away like see ya yeah yeah oh so sad you're one phone call a week it's like filling in the podcast list as what's happening. Carl, I know you're stressed and having a hard time in there,

but you've got to ask them for better internet. It's fucking dropping out every five seconds. I've got a job in the kitchen. The pass is worse than the shitty pass through Melbourne. One phone call a week and there's two. Tommy Daslow, Nick Capper and Brett Blake. Okay, yeah, cool. No, no, no. Your new guests are your

fucking lawyer. Well,apper and Brett Blake. Okay, yeah, cool. No, no, no. Your new guests are your fucking lawyer. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, again, Brett Blake. Yeah. Yeah, this becomes serial. This is just me checking in on an unfolding court case for the next three years or whatever.

It's happening in a couple of weeks, so maybe we should bank quite a few episodes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A buffer. How long are you going for? Five nights. Okay. That's it.

Right. Five nights. So there's at the moment. Or forever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And how are you gone for? Five nights. Okay. That's it. Right. Five nights. So there's at the moment. Or forever. Yeah. And how are you explaining that? You're saying the excuse to the wife is the gig. Yes.

But then like just also need a two-day period either side of the gig to be there. Yes. How are you getting that one over the line? Because like, well, while you're there, I mean, it's crazy Just to go there for one day Like and And now with the cheapest Flights I could get Yeah

And all of that sort of thing Okay The thing I'm Also as if your wife Is looking up your dates Like what you're doing You could say Yeah we're doing three gigs

She's not going to look up And say you're only doing one gig Yeah maybe you're right Residency Maybe you're right But no that's not That's not an unfair thing To say I'm doing one gig

I'll I won't just walk off stage And back onto a plane and come straight home. Yeah, that's okay. It's a long way. But what will be hard to explain is seven other mates coming with. Yeah. Because, well, that was the other thing. Entourage.

Yeah. So the Bangkok Comedy Club owner was like, so once he'd finally got it in his head about the podcast, and I'm like, people are going to fly in like when we did the coast and we podcast vessel there was you know the last one we did there was 300 people fly over for that thing not from thailand from around the world mostly australia right so i'm explaining that to him and i'm and i'm sending him pictures go this is what happened whatever so by the end of it he's like okay all right so people will travel for this and it is a mad idea and we've documented that

plenty of times it's crazy that that happened but I'm saying this could happen again and he's like okay right okay alright right we'll do it

okay great and then it turned into actually we're just doing stand up and he's like great so those 300 people will still come I'm like cunt we can't get people

to walk down the street in Melbourne to come to our stand up shows not not that so yeah he's um i think it's yeah it's the ticketing link gone live yet no okay no nothing and it's only this gig ain't happening it's too you're gonna have a good time on the beach yeah he hit he hit me up last night to say okay so should we put this on sale i'm like yes like i've been saying for months.

Can you give me some fucking evidence of this existing? You're going all the way to Bangkok to do a terrible open mic. It's not open mic. Hey, I did that. I went to Edinburgh to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So at the moment it's the three of you Split bill stand up show

Yeah Well That's the plan Right That's what it's supposed to be But these two don't want to go now No They're wavering

One One is Yeah they're both wavering Yeah So I don't know I've got to You know what I literally should get off this

And ask them Because I need to get back to this Comedy club guy And go I need your headshots and bio. Yes. So you're saying there might be a gig going. Who books it?

How much were flights at the moment? Man, they're $1,200 now. Yeah, I got them for they went for $250 originally. And so I got one and we talked about this but

I sent Blakey a message about it and he was very high at the time and he read my message I said look at this look how cheap they are

imagine going like in November and when they're 250 dollars and he was like cool okay I got the flights and I'm like I didn't say

I was going I said imagine and so then he got the flights and I was like i didn't say i was going i was said imagine and so then he got the flights and i was like fuck okay who am i more scared of my wife or blakey probably blakey i'll get the flights and then i'll just figure out the rest of it later so so then i bought a flight for cap because it was mid chemotherapy and i was like this would be nice for him to look forward to something and now he's like no actually i might fuck you over and pull out like you need a holiday after this holiday yeah yeah so anyway that's happening in two weeks from now maybe who knows maybe who knows maybe it'll be a gig because this story is now like unraveling and so every day my wife is now going, so this gig or whatever, that's now happening in two weeks.

And you're saying it's up in the air. I'm like, yeah. And you're like, you're still making the call. Shouldn't you be doing more spots here to get ready for it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, shouldn't you be like trying to promote it or something? I'm like, I'd love to. I might end up having to fucking design the poster actually.

Maybe I should do that. I guess this guy's just thinking, it's probably one of these things where people are just there. It's like one of the few or only comedy things that's in the city. So people that want to see comedy, they're just going to be there every Saturday night anyway. So he's, I mean, he's, I think really what's happened is he's seen through the ruse.

He's like, yeah, I'm not getting a fucking billboard with Carl Chandler, Brett Blake and Nick Capper on it. No one in traffic is like, oh, the boys are in town. I've got to go see this. Absolutely. He doesn't give a fuck. Yes.

He's got a nice little wicket going over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, what I've seen put up on the same bills as the thing I'm going to do is like, oh, this guy flown in from blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I'm looking at the credits of this guy going, this guy's done fuck all just like me. Yeah, exactly. These are the equivalents.

It's like, they don't give, no one's coming for that one person. It's just like, whoever's hanging around at the time, so he's not fussed. He's working on tie time going, whatever. If you come, great. If you don't, who gives a fuck? Yeah.

Less headshots I have to put up. Oh, man. Well, I, speaking of travel, I told you this recently, but Sonia and Josh, I saw something recently on my travels that I've never seen in my life before. I went to Sydney and I was staying in a hotel

and the air conditioning in the room, if you wanted the temperature changed, you had to call the front desk and get them to do it for you from there. That's fucked, man. You know, I've done comedy a while. I've travelled around a lot. I've never in my life stayed in a lot of different countries, never seen anything like this in my life.

What was it set on? It was set on 21. Bit warm for me, honestly. Was it a fancy hotel or like? It was an Ibis. It wasn't a piece of shit. Hang on. You're asking, was it a fancy hotel where you weren't even allowed

to control the temperature yourself? It's a good question because it was Hotel Dad and Dad has the remote and no one else is allowed to touch anything. That is a good theme. Did you have to call them to flush the toilet or could you do that yourself? That was it. It was so stressful to me. I got in and I was just like, man mean yeah my my go-to when i'm sitting a um you know

temperature in a hotel room i like a 19 yeah i like it on 19 i like to go sub 20 so i was like oh man i really because i just i think you were messaging me going yeah yeah, it's a bit hot. And I'm like, don't fucking ring up reception. You're like, I really can't be fucking. I cannot be in bed. Because it's always, during the day, it's like whatever. But it really hit, you know, when you get uncomfortable is like when you're in bed, you can't sleep. And it's like, ah, it's 1am.

I can't call up and be like, I'm cold. But I was in Perth and I was in bed and the fire alarms went off. So I had to get up, get dressed, go down the stairs. And if it was a real fire, I would have died because there was this old couple having a fucking argument in front of me because he wanted to go back and get his thongs. And she was like, no, just keep walking, keep walking. And there's a fucking line of people just going, all right,

just move it on, move it on. And he's like, I want to get me thongs. I want to get me thongs. She's like, come on, come on. We've got to move. They were there for two minutes, which doesn't seem like a long time. But if it's a fucking fire, we're all just perished. It's fucked.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then we all just stood out the front. And then he was arguing with her saying, see, it was just someone smoking in the room. Let me go up. And he wanted to break back in to the hotel and go in and get his thongs. Yeah. Because it's always people smoking.

How good are's fucking thongs well they're rubber they're the first thing that's gonna melt you know they're no chance i had that in uh in brisbane fire alarm goes off and you know like in a in any kind of alarm scenario you're always like you're just waiting it out being like is this a drill like at what point do i actually start taking this seriously and so yeah it's gone for a bit i'm like oh it's got to evacuate and found out later from the guy at the front the manager that it he's like it will have been someone just like smoking in their room which i was like yeah that does track because as i was going down the fire escape these two like real sketchy looking guys they just leg it past me down the steps,

get the door open and then just fucking take off down the street. Not even to the evacuation point. It was like, I think I found the guys. They're just fucking chuffing on in their room. It is a sick move to be like, signs everywhere, fire alarm in every room, but still like, I reckon I can get away with having a dart in here. You haven't been able to smoke in rooms since 1985.

Yeah, but you can always like Daniel Sloss taught me this. You put a condom over the fire alarm and then you can smoke away.

He finally found a use for them. Yeah. They wouldn't fit on his dick so. Put a condom on him. I mean, just go outside.

Yeah. You've got the whole of outside. They've supplied an elevator. Yeah. It's not like you're fucking dealing go outside. Yeah. You've got the whole of outside. They've supplied an elevator. Yeah. It's not like you're fucking dealing with stairs. It is pretty great. But, yeah, the – because I kind of didn't understand what they were saying to me about the temperature thing

because they were like, oh, yeah, it's all centralized across the whole hotel. And I was like – I just had a moment where I was like, does this mean every room is set to the same temperature at the same time? So if I call up and say, I want it to be 18, I want it to be a crisp 18 degrees in here. Everyone's room. Hotel one mandate.

Every room set to the same temperature, people losing their minds. It's like, this is just going to be fluctuating. It's just a bad system, man. Yeah. Yeah.

It's no good. Hotel dad. Don'tuating all night. It's just a bad system, man. Yeah. Yeah, it's no good. Hotel dad, don't stay. Hotel dad, I do like it. TV won't turn off. Just a man yelling at you for leaving the door open. Yeah. Man, I just got back from five nights in the Gold Coast. My wife just got a brand new job.

She starts today. So she wanted a last minute little break away before she never has a holiday for fucking a year or whatever. And so we did that. She could to bangkok yeah well if only someone was going when someone was confirmed to go um but so we went up there and we went out for dinner one night and i made the mistake of uh giving my child a little bit of her first curry and then it turned into a day of and a full night of my daughter for the first time i've ever heard this happen just ripping the biggest for a three-year-old and she's doing them all night so then it's like but it's like it's i was so sleep deprived at one point like because she gets up really early and then she was keeping me up all night by just ripping

them and going, and just go. So you're nodding off and then hearing that. Yeah. She's just been. You're waking up all the time, high fiving, going, oh, I just can't high five you anymore. It was like cute, but like crazy making my mind fucking go insane, annoying because it was like, excuse me. I can't get angry at that. I would love to get some sleep.

And also, you gave her the curry. Yeah, I know. Oh, look, totally. Completely my fault. And also, yeah, in a room where you could not crack a window. So just her shitting her pants and farting. You couldn't even call reception and ask them to take it off? Can you turn down my daughter?

Can you turn down the temperature of my daughter's ass? It is red hot at the moment. Did she like the Carrie though? Wasn't a massive fan. Well that's a relief. If she loved it she'd be begging for it every night now. Setting yourself up for this for the rest of your days.

Oh, fucking hell. Question for the guests guys. You guys work in comedy, right? You would have heard about this. I guess you. The Australian Comedy Hall of Fame official inductee ceremony is this weekend. You guys are allowed to vote, right? Just because you're comedians, you're allowed to vote, right?

Aren't you? Yeah. It's like if you're in the prime minister... If you're in the election... Yeah, you have to vote. Yeah, you're right. Of course you still vote. Yeah, the prime minister votes for himself. Yeah. Well, you know, Prime Minister, you know, if you're in the election. Yeah, you have to. You still vote. Yeah, you're right. Of course you still vote. Yeah, the Prime Minister votes for himself.

Yeah. Well, you would assume. Yes. Or herself. Yeah. I wonder if that's ever happened. Just walking in on the day and being like, you know what? I've made an absolute meal out of this campaign.

I don't deserve my own vote. Well, you're getting them worse and worse. You know, you're Trump's and all these people that are just like, you know, fucked in the head. There's got to be someone, you know, because there's always that publicity shot of someone posting the vote. Yeah, yeah. There's got to be a shot of someone doing the donkey vote,

doing a big old dick and ball. Check this out, cunts. That would win them more votes, I reckon, in Australia. So it's happening. It's still time to vote As this episode comes out As we speak right now When do the votes close by the way?

We should give people a cut off time That's a great question Who are you going to vote for, Josh? It is a packed lineup Absolute top tiers That's what I was about to ask you Because you've got the I'll show you who

I mean you guys will be all across this In case you voted already But who is there right now? There's Will Anderson Kyle Barron Fiona L Fiona Lachlan, Hannah Gadsby, Dame Edna Everidge, Dave Hughes, Austin Tash, Sticky Neen, Nick Abbott, Sam Payne. Who have you voted for or who are you thinking of voting for, Sonia? Because it's fine to, you know, yeah, you don't have to do it right now.

Yeah. The lines are going to stay open until pretty late in the piece, so don't feel like you have to go in half-cocked. The internet lines, the copper lines are open until the last minute. Do we get fined if we don't vote? Yes. It's like the local election, 20 bucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, we're going to have democracy sausages out the front of the comic front. We probably should look into it. Hamburgers. You have to. Fuck, now we have to. We should look into it. Oh, God. You should. All right, now, all right, let's make a note. Now we have to. Fuck, now we have to. We should look into it. Oh, God.

You should. All right, now. All right, let's make a note. Now we have to do that. Democracy. Hang on. There's an IGA. I'm adding to my to-do list.

Supply publicity pics to Bangkok and buy sausages. There's an IGA next to the Comics Land. You can rip in there, get a tray of 12 and a few bread rolls. So at least that side of it at least someone will loan you a barbecue fuck we've got to do that now because they've got they've got a kitchen up there yeah get a fucking barbie down the front the joe king bistro yes yeah get you're gonna sell more sausages and calamari rings up there on that night no absolutely yeah all right fuck all right let's do that let's. We need, but it needs to be like, because they're all like volunteers.

Like who runs those? The Bunnings ones? Or not the Bunnings ones, but the election day ones. Oh, you know, I think it's all, if it's a school, the school runs it. Oh, okay. Yeah, so they can run it. The lounge aren't going to do that for us.

The guys in the kitchen will. You think? Yeah. All right. Absolutely. All right. We. All right. We can ask him. I reckon they'll do way more business doing it.

Is it, you know, a $5 sausage on the way in? $5? I don't know. It's $2.50 at Bunnings. Well, at 8 o'clock on a Saturday night, they're not going to go, thanks, I'll take my business elsewhere. I'll wait for fucking 14 hours and go down to Bunnings. They'll buy it there.

I think they've gone up at Bunnings. They have, $3.50. It's really annoyed me because I used to go in with a crisp $10 and go, three, thanks. And now it's like, $10.50, thanks. Ah, fuck. Fuck it.

I mean, maybe we should be offering some form of last minute ballot box as well. If that's what we're doing. Yes. We're saying that it's like we're having people out the front getting a sausage. Because you know what?

There's probably a lot of people listening to this that have kind of come on this whole journey. Can you vote more than once, though? Well, this is the thing. Maybe there are people listening that are like, all these nominees are a fucking mockery. But the way that the website is structured, there's no way for people to do any kind of donkey vote here. So this is a way for you if you want to give... If you want to give the finger to the system. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the way you can do it.

If that's the thing that's been holding you back from voting, that you couldn't vote for a dick and balls. You couldn't draw a big dick and balls on Sam Pang's face.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you couldn't vote for suck my dick, well, come to the live show and you can actually make your voice heard. Yeah, exactly.

Suck my dick's fucking funny. Voting for suck my dick. One of the greats. That is, that probably is the best comedian if we really want

to be objective about it. Suck my dick. Come to the live, it's October 22nd, if you're hearing this, man, this is, we didn't have a great reason for you to come

but now we do. Come and vote for suck my dick. And get a sausage. Vote to suck my dick. And also, because we should say, the webmaster for oscomedyhalloffame.com, we got an email from him at the start of the week that he's going to be...

He's like on the Great Barrier Reef or something all week. So he's like, I'm not going to have any reception, but text me Friday afternoon and remind me and I'll send the results through. So we might not even be able to get an update. So we actually might be relying on these hard copy ballots. Is this what happened with Al Gore?

Yeah, this is just like the American elections. It's all rigged. Stop the votes. Yeah, I'll tell you what. If Dickie Nee doesn't win, I'm going to storm the Comic Sans. I'll storm the IGA next time. Yeah, storm the comedy capital. Have you voted, Sonia? No, I haven't voted. Storm the IGA next door Yeah Storm the comedy capital Yeah And so

Have you voted Sonia And if not No I haven't voted Who's your Who are you looking at At the moment Who's your Who's your

Who you're leaning towards Out of the The five prestigious The ten prestigious I gotta say This has been a real Whitewash of an election I would vote for someone

Who's not on there Okay Oh so you're coming To the live show Yeah Yeah And you're coming to the live show? Yeah. Yeah. And I'll come to the live show and I'll vote for Rodney Root. Okay, great.

Great. That's where my vote would go, honestly. I've got to say, for an election campaign, we haven't really had any of the candidates really going too hard to try and get the vote. No. Well, imagine an election that literally was just like this, just radio silence from all the possible candidates no

there's three out of ten well they have to know about it yeah that's true three out of ten of them have put them up on their social okay that's true that's true a third

I wanted people to be kind of hit I wanted people popping up on the Today Show and how many will be at the ceremony how many well probably one well

no we'll see we'll see you'll see when you go up there to vote for suck my dick is one of them is one of them treating it a bit like Bangkok at the moment

yeah yeah I don't really know if I can be fucked yeah sure sure so you're not interested in any of the candidates you don't think

any of those people are worthy of being no I do Australian Comedy Hall who are you voting for look I'm looking at them now. There's one I love. There's one that I think I love.

Only one? Wow. I love a woman who, like, an older woman dressed up, like an old woman who's recently said some really horrendous things. So my vote's Fiona O'Loughlin. There we go. There we go. Someone that's not really in the real world.

Who are you voting for? We haven't talked about this. I mean, I don't know if this is like... That's a good question. I don't know if this is a conflict of interest for us to talk about who we're backing. That is a good question. Who do you want to win? Yeah, who am I voting for?

I think, look, it's a toss-up between, I mean, there's some people in here that, you know, I think it's the Australian way of voting. Maybe it's not merit-based. Maybe it's more like who you want to see win. Personality. Yeah. Like someone that, like, you know,

a lot of that sort of stuff is likeability is really high up there so it's like I think ostentatious I think yeah I'll probably vote for him he seems like a nice guy yeah

what would you do if he rocks up give him the mic and give him his trophy yeah say congrats hand him a sausage all hail the king

suck my dick just I don't know give him a porcupine and say, say something about that, cunt. I think my vote's going to go for Dickie Nee. I've been thinking about it long and hard over the last couple of months. Yeah, I mean, the fact that he doesn't have a face,

being that funny with zero facial features, I think that speaks to a higher level of talent than anyone else on the list. That's a good... I'd love to see that Vox one. Who are you voting for? The one with no face. I like that. Yeah.

I mean, I'm a hat guy. He's got a beautiful blue hat. I respect that. I feel like a real kinship to him. He kind of, you know, that mane of hair he's got. It's very Italian seeming. Yeah, yeah. He held that show together

Yeah exactly I reckon Dickie Shot for Ricardo Like Mr Summers Mr Summers Yeah Oh it would have been

So much better If he was Italian Italian Yeah man Just put a chain around him Ricky Ricky Knee That's good

Yeah Ricky Knee The creators of the show Will reveal that You know how like J.K. Rowling was like, oh yeah, Hagrid was gay. Hagrid was gay.

Did he need to tell you the whole time? I thought you said how J.K. Rowling said, Agro was gay. I'm like, what? That's to be revealed as well. I know he had a hand up his backside. Where's Agro? Yeah, well.

There's only so many. There's only room for. There's only room for so many. Look, it's diverse enough with having just one puppet. I don't, you know, you don't want anyone saying the world's gone mad. Yeah. You know, there's too many puppets. Yeah.

We've already got Dickie Nee and Nick Capper. Oh. Oh. All right. Oh. Why aren't you on there? Oh. Yeah.

Yeah, Dave. Italian Dickie Knee has just, that's made it all worthwhile for me to get that out there. Ricky Knee. Ricardo Knee. Ricardo Knee. All right. Well, guys, yeah. There's still time.

There's only a few days left for voting. Yeah, look, voting will be open. What's our cutoff? Are we saying? Right up until showtime. Right up until showtime. And the way our website works, it probably still will be open after the show as well.

Probably still be there for a couple of weeks. For some reason, I do find it funny, like you said, our webmaster's like, yeah, here's the tally so far. Not sure if I'll probably still be there for a couple of weeks. For some reason, I do find it funny, like you said, our webmaster's like, yeah, here's the tally so far. Not sure if I'll have a reception while I'm doing this work on the islands. It's like, mate, you're a webmaster. Like, what the fuck are you doing on this island? No, he goes, I probably won't have a reception, but text me on Friday.

It's like, yeah, I'm not going to get it, but knock yourselves out. So right up until 8 o'clock on the Saturday, October 22nd, put your votes in. It's when the polls close. Also, you know, maybe we haven't put two of these things across the line as much in the last couple of weeks, which is, of course, there's a secondary page where you can vote for your favourite Australian comedy. Who's going to be in the Australian Podcast Comedy Hall of Fame? Is it Little Dum Dum Club? Is it What the Fuck with Mark Maron?

Is it My Dad Wrote a Porno? Is it Comedy Bang Bang? Is it Bill Byrne Morning Podcast? Is it The Dollop? Is it Joe Rogan Experience? Is it Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend? So your favourite podcast out of them that may or may not qualify as Australian in the Australian Comedy Hall of Fame for podcast.

Put your vote in for that as well. I mean, yeah, I've been a bit hypocritical because, I mean, we haven't really been campaigning for that. Yes. I'm saying the candidates for the Oz Comedy Hall of Fame weren't doing enough to push their agenda. Yes. I mean, yeah, we've done nothing. We need to start posting about that and getting some people involved.

Who are you voting for? You're a Joe Rogan fan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big Joe Rogan fan. And he's been campaigning Rogan fan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big Joe Rogan fan. And he's been campaigning pretty hard too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got my vote. I would love it if he started campaigning

and all of a sudden there was 2 billion votes. Well, imagine the webmasters. He already believes vaccines aren't real or whatever. Surely he thinks this is real then. Right, absolutely. All right, guys. Well, yeah, get voting and, yeah. This is the Oz Comedy Hall of Fame, of course,

presented by our good friends at comedy.com.au, I believe. Comedy with three Ys. The aforementioned great friend Milan is behind that to some degree. Soon to be operating from a Thai prison cell. Yes, yes. Milan is behind that to some degree. Soon to be operating from a Thai prison cell. Yes. It's just me doing podcasts and him running the website from there. In the podcasting wing of the Bangkok Hill.

He'll get the T-shirts cheap then if he's getting that. I'll just sign some new talent for my website, Big Louie from Cellblock H. Come along to the ceremony to farewell Carl forever. Yes, please come and grab a sausage, so to speak. Yeah, big night. I really feel like we've done a good job of selling this episode. So, yeah, guys, come down.

Yeah, 8 p.m. this Saturday night, October the 22nd. You can't sell when you put a question mark so clearly behind the fucking time of it yeah yeah this this Saturday at the comics lounge we'll see you guys there but yeah we'd better wrap it up

there for this week on the little dum-dum club Josh Earl and Sonia DeOrio thank you for joining us thank you for having me thank you ciao Sonia

anything that you'd like to plug myself cool Sonia Sonia DeComedy on Insta to plug? Myself. Cool. Sonia D Comedy on Insta. I've got heaps of shit coming up. Cool. Bunch of gigs.

Bunch of gigs. I'll be doing some solo show hopefully early in the new year. Cool. Go see Sonia. Some rock solo plays there. Yeah, man. Like you're not as good as you're fucking being in a Thai prison. What about you, Josh? I have a podcast called 100 Cent Hits, a volume pod that's out every Thursday.

But this Monday, if you're in Melbourne, I'm doing a free Don't You Know Who I Am at the Retreat Hotel. So come along at 8 o'clock. Nice. That is when it is. I'll be coming straight from either a victorious grand final basketball match or I'll be a big loser. Either way, I'll be emotional. And what election are you having?

Are you yours? Just comedy. We're going to vote on who is the funniest comedian on stage. Yes or no? Comedy. Yes. For, against. The comedy referendum.

Should we have comedy in this country or not no leave or stay what do you reckon guys yeah comedy Brexit comedy exit

alright guys thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time see ya mates and they've done it again oh

Bernie he's he's kicked a big one, as they say, in the classic Dumb Dumb episodes of the past. That's canon that he's kicked a big one. I don't want to rip them off, but I did hear an episode once where they said that and I thought it sounded pretty cool, so I thought I'd try it out tonight.

Well, that's what we... We kind of forget to point this out every week, but this is the companion show to the Little Dum Dum Club. We're big fans. This is the Baba to the Abba. Yep. We're like a cover act. I think we would have talked about this, but are there, they're not,

have we reached the end of the talking shows? Oh. Because there was talk and soul. Yeah. But now that that's done. Right. I wonder if that's. Talking dead. Talking Dead.

Talking Dead. There was Talking Dead, Talking Bad, Talking Saul. Are they just done? Because where do you kick it off? Because they're all on AMC. Let's say a new AMC show starts and they're like, you know what, we're not even going to wait to see if there's going to be the need for this.

We're just going to straight up after Ep 1 have a bunch of people who've only seen one episode no idea if it's going to pan out yeah but as prepared to stake their reputations as being big fans from day dot of the show yeah you got to get in pretty pretty early once you once you name the show it's like you're checking the domains the next day for yeah putting talking at the start of it well because that's the other thing was that yeah amc did that for like i think nearly every show they had at a certain period and no other streaming service or channel has gone in on the idea you know what i mean like you would think that maybe hbo would have like a talk and dragons or something they're like no it's a bit beneath us yeah we'll just make we could just put

in another good show in that slot yeah rather than a bunch of cunts talking about what you've just said. Yeah, yeah. It's a fucking cheap business model as you can learn by listening to this. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We could be paying people to come in and do another podcast off the back of ours every week.

We could be writing new content. We could be doing something or we could just be vaguely talking about, we could be vaguely doing our job, which is what we're doing right now. I mean, I don't think we even feel that much of an obligation to be entertaining in this bit. Sometimes by accident we end up with a fucking ripper. Yeah. And I think more importantly,

it's very rare that we talk about what just happened on the show anyway. Every now and then there might be cause to, but in a situation like this, just had two of our friends around yeah we had a fun time yeah i think we did a good episode yeah nothing more to really expand upon well everything we had to talk about we left on the fucking field that's true well i wonder if they had the weeks like that with talking dead where they're just like no you know what it's all there it's it speaks for itself that one this zombie show speaks for itself yeah what are we gonna add what else is going on?

Just crack open a broadsheet? I mean, it's like anything, you know, it's like you kind of think like, oh, it'd be cool to, you know, have a job that's just this like thing that you already enjoy. Like those people that do like Bachelor recaps for whatever website and they're getting paid to do that. But I really think after week three, you would start to feel like, oh, i watched the fucking bachelor again it is nothing to say about this episode well you know like like like we've

possibly learned with this job other jobs whatever it is like as soon as you make your passion your job it does suck the passion out of it and turn it into a job it is hard to appreciate it in the same way yeah yeah yeah so um you know we used to dream of you know spending an hour a week talking about what we've just done yeah another medium but now it's just a you know we're just clocking in yep yeah logging on yep this is just uh you know what you guys out there when you're you know i don't know cleaning the fucking spew out of the the truck stop dunny or whatever you cunts do out there for a living. That's us right now. That's how, it is a shame that that is how we feel right now.

All manner of like any kind of like rationale about it just leaves you after a certain period. Well, it's funny. I've just missed three personal calls and I'm like, guys, sorry, I can't answer these calls. I'm at work. Yeah.

Complaining about fucking I don't know what this week. Yeah, this is the snake eating itself, isn't it? Like we're deep in. It's a weird world. It is a funny old life. But hey, I'll tell you what's not funny. Oh, well, what about this? Quick plug.

I promise we've been plugging it every week because we have a live show. But like we said, in previous many parts of the show that you've just listened to, we've got a live show Saturday, October 22nd. It's our 12th birthday slash wink wink, the Oz Comedy Hall of Fame induction ceremony. It's going to be a lot of fun if you guys are in town. There's plenty of you people in Melbournebourne so um that listen to the show so get along saturday night what's more fun than seeing us fucking figure out what the fuck is going to happen with the latest fucking half cooked up idea that we've got so um that'll be good we'll be having a few drinks a lot of people like oh yeah you know this is gonna be a fucking

disaster boys and we love to see it like there's the little freaks out there that love watching us squirm. Yeah. You really find out how many like masochists are in the audience. Also, I've come across a few people lately where they're like, you know, oh, big fan, and I'm like, cool. You come to the show and they're like, oh, no, I'm a bit scared of them. And I'm like, don't be scared. Yeah, yeah.

I like the idea of what – This one's going to have a sausage sizzle at it. I just like the idea that some people think... Some people have got the brain of me when I was six years old when I looked at posters of Kiss and went, fuck, I'd never go to a Kiss concert because I think Gene Simmons would bite your head off. It's like, no, no, no, that doesn't happen.

I remember being too scared to listen to Triple J when I was a kid. Oh, really? Because I was like, I'm not going to understand adult music. Right, right, yeah. Well, Gene Simmons, if Gene Simmons is me, I'm not going to bite your head off, guys. And yeah, so feel free to come along. Nothing's going to, I don't know whether you,

maybe they're worried about getting crowd surfed on top of, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing, you know, it's a lot of fun. People get carried away with themselves, but there's nothing bad happens. It's just fucking idiots listening to other idiots. Nothing actually bad happens. I wonder if this will work on anyone. This would be the thing.

If this got someone over the line, let us know on the night. Maybe we can, you know what? Maybe we should do this. Maybe we should have, you You know like there's the The quiet hour for the shopping Oh yeah yeah yeah The supermarket bit or whatever The neurodiverse

Can we have Can we have the safe table For people that are like Too scared to come to a live show Yeah to We'll just put it You know a fair way away From everyone else

Yeah And all the That can be like the Yeah You're surrounded by The quiet table You're in like It's like you're in the Popemobile

Yeah You're in a little Perspex cage Yeah At the back of the room Yeah Audio from the gig piped in We'll keep your seats on your table Whatever it is

Far away from everyone else Yep You're basically at a different show Yeah that's okay I mean you can come And you can watch the show But you're far enough away from Whatever you're scared of

Whether it's us or the other punters I don't know what you're scared of But we'll keep you Far away from everything else Yeah Yeah let us know Let us know if there's enough people Want other punters. I don't know what you're scared of, but we'll keep you far away from everything else. Yeah. Yeah. Let us know. Let us know if there's enough people want a safe.

Yeah. But then the, you know, then the worry is that one of the people that these people are scared about, they're going to, they're going to sneak their way in. Yeah. Oh, boys, I'm terrified. Well, that's fine too. Yeah. Whatever.

But let us know. Let us know in the comments. Get on the socials and let us know. We can. Yeah. Yep. So littledumbd fine too. Whatever. But let us know. Let us know in the comments. Get on the socials and let us know. We can... Yeah. So littledumbdumbclub.com. Hop to it. Only a couple days to go until the show.

Last chance to get tickets and to be a part of voting history. All brought to you by Comedy with three Ys. Dot com dot au. Of course, our good friend's talked about on this episode as of the head of comedy dotcom.au is coming to is coming to Bangkok

as I said he'll be coming to the live show as well and maybe he's the one that's going to be you know presenting some awards

and stuff like that so beautiful yeah skimpy little dress that's right coming out it's not like the boxing where he comes out in the dress and has the round numbers.

It's like, yeah. No, I mean he's presenting at an award show. Oh, okay. Oh, here's another couple of things I was thinking about. Do we have anything in place for playing people off if they're going too long in their acceptance speech? I think it should be Australiana. That's going to make people want to vacate the stage if they start hearing that imagine if we get sued for for playing that and releasing that on the podcast yeah yeah good and uh do we want to worry about any kind of seat fillers

oh you know the award that's the thing i like about the award shows you know when they like cut to like the rehearsals where they've just got like the like the cardboard like the people's you know like a print out of someone's head on a stick yeah to symbolize that's where they'll be sitting so you think that some of the nominees are going to be in the audience yeah okay well i didn't think that would be happening i thought maybe if we had those people it would be a there won't be a lot of them and b they'll be more but no but this is what i'm saying right if they're for the ones that aren't there yeah we just have like a kind of cardboard cutout of them. Look, I would much rather have seat fillers

slash more cunts buying tickets to this show. Yes, true. That's what I want. Well, yeah, let us know if you want to be a seat filler. Yeah. If you want that to be a ticket, just come. You're filling a seat that's currently empty. Yes, yeah.

It's not replacing anyone. No, yeah. You're just filling a seat. You're filling a seat. Yes. There's no lie there. Yeah, we're hoping to have 400 seat fill empty. Yes. Yeah. It's not replacing anyone. You're just filling a seat. You're filling a seat. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. There's no lie there.

Yeah. We're hoping to have 400 seat fillers. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Get on to that. Yeah. Only a couple of days to go.

Also, while you're at LittleDumbDumbClub.com, you can support the show on Patreon. And for your troubles, you can receive two bonus episodes per week, Mondays and Fridays. Little bonus mini episodes with great guests. What a treat. We had a fun one last week where I was running, doing a big jog in the Gold Coast and took up two episodes. Yep. You were sitting here.

I was running through Surfers Paradise. Yep. And remarking on all the funny little things I'd observed. Yep. It was like Seinfeld in Queensland. Exactly. I thought they were good. They were fun.

Two good ones. That was fun. Check them out. I didn't listen to the audio. How did it sound? You sound like you're on the phone. Okay. Which is what you were.

Yes. Right. Okay. And yeah, we just did two with the guests from this episode. So they'll be coming out next week. But yeah, heaps on there. too with the guests from this episode. So they'll be coming out next week.

But yeah, heaps on there. And also, most importantly, you go into the drawer to get your name read out and immortalised in the audio medium. In the... Stuart Hall of Fame. Of which I just... Some people might not know this, but

when you buy a ticket to this show in particular, most shows, most live shows that we do, you're giving away a little bit of information about what you are. When you buy a ticket? Yeah. And I happen to know that the Stuart Hall of Fame, the man that's named after is attending the show. Nice. Nice.

He should be turning up with a T-shirt with all the names that have been read out since we named it the Stuart Hall of Fame and just printed on them. Yeah. So if your Patreon subscriber has had your name read out on this show, you get to go up to him on Saturday night

and say, I'm in you. Yeah. So please do that. Maybe we'll get him to write, yeah, to have his name printed on his shirt so everyone gets a good chance to do that. Yes, exactly.

You've got to make yourself known. Yeah. If you can cosplay as yourself to this gig so that it's obvious who you are. That would be sort of cool if we had a, there's way too much work, but that would be good if everyone would walk through. We gave a gold vest to anyone who's been read out been read out in the stewart hall of fame so they could all

walk through and uh yeah the legwork of having to go around and find however many gold vests like i don't even know where i wouldn't even know where to begin with that one yeah one of those things that you just think like yeah it's a gold vest yeah let's be able to find them at a party shop yeah and then all of a sudden you're at your like eighth one being like, God, I hope Uncle Bucks has some of these up the back. Yeah. So anyway, that was a good idea for one second. It's now gone to the ether.

Yeah, I don't think we'll get time once we organise the sausage sizzle and the ballot box. Fuck. Jesus Christ. That is going to be a lot of work that will not end up on the show. Probably bomb in the room as well. Bomb on the footpath.

Yeah. We'll only be able to cook sausages on the street. You won't even... There'll be some... There's a lot of fucking vagrants on that street. They'll just come up and... Oh, yeah, I'm going on Dum Dum. And people will be like,

yeah, you seem like you'd be going into this show. Yeah, it's also not legal to just set up in the street and be cooking food. Probably not. Yeah, you're right. Fuck, we will have to do it inside,

won't we? I guess we will, yeah. Alright, I'll get onto this. I'll literally get onto this as soon as we finish the show. Ask the lounge if the fellas in the Joe King Bistro

would mind turning it into the Sausage King Bistro would mind turning it into the Sausage King Bistro. I'm sure using a barbecue inside will be nice and safe and set off no alarms at all. Well, I think we just

use the grill in the kitchen, right? Oh, yeah, but you want to see it cooking. You want the full bunning sort of experience. You want to see it happening. You don't just want to order a sausage

and it just comes from out the back in a fucking box. Yeah, that's true. I mean, we got to work this out because I can't see them pinking. Every barbecue, I was actually thinking this the other day. I was using my barbecue and it has a big thing on it being like not for indoor use. That's one of those things that's got to be on there. But you go, who is this for? Like on it, but then you go.

What's for us right now? Yeah, exactly. Literally, it's like, yeah, you can't just assume that everyone gets it it's like i'm sure plenty of people have like burnt down their house by just getting a weber and being like this is so great i never need to use the onion oven again yeah there's definitely people that are like man why would i fucking i need a sausage it's cold outside it's raining out there yeah fucking this is a no-brainer i'm. I'm not a fucking idiot. Yeah. Yeah. If I cook it out there, the sausages will get wet.

Yeah. I'll get cold. Yeah. That'll ruin my appetite. The makers of this barbecue have not thought this through. You ever have plans to, like, do a barbecue dinner and then the weather takes a turn, but you've already bought all the stuff. Oh.

So you're like, I guess I'm just doing them on the oven. That's devastating. Yeah. That's such a... Yeah, that's shit. That's such a... That's just, like, not even the same meal That's devastating. Yeah. That's such a... Yeah, that's shit. That's such a... That's just like not even the same meal in any way. No.

The fun of preparing it, the taste... You might as well chuck it in the microwave. Yeah. Yeah. It's a grim... It's a grim reality that you have to make your peace with in this city. Yeah. Where things can turn on a dime.

I reckon I'm... I reckon I am... How do I put this? I'm inexplicably good at barbecuing, I reckon. Okay. Not, I wouldn't back myself in the kitchen. Yeah. But on the barbecue, I feel like I've just had a blessed run.

I'm due to absolutely fuck things up. But I don't really know what I'm doing. But what sort of stuff are you cooking on there? Because there's not a lot of room for error. Well, there is i reckon so even timing wise even organizing wise like i'll have on there different sorts of sausages yep um bit of steak chicken yep onion potato slices there's a lot of consistency hell of a party yeah Yeah. What's the occasion? Just lunch. Yeah. Lunch.

Yeah. Multiple sausages. Yes. A steak, chicken. Well, my example would be my parents came down last week or something like that. I thought you just meant solo lunch. No, no. Multiple different types of meat.

Would you, hang on, would you crack open the barbecue just to cook for one? Yeah, I have done. Wow. Yeah. Okay, I've never heard of that. Yeah. Yeah, I have done. Wow. Yeah. Okay, I've never heard of that. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, when I lived alone. So you'd start a barbecue and cook one sausage?

Well, I'm not eating one sausage. Right. Well, how many sausages do you eat? I'd maybe have three and then I might also get, maybe I'd cook some like onion and potato and stuff on the side as well. So I'm not, you know, I feel like that's, I'm still getting good enough coverage of the, you know, of the barbecue. Right.

Yeah. Okay. I just, I never thought of doing it for one. I've always thought of it as a group. It is. I mean, it really comes alive in a group setting. But I mean, yeah. I kind of think barbecuing for one is a bit like drinking alone.

Yeah. A little bit. Awesome. Yeah. The only thing that makes life worth living. The only reason to make it through another day on this hellish earth. Yeah, I think, yeah, yeah.

That came out differently from how I meant. All right, Stuart Hall of Fame time. I got fucking shit to do. Yeah. We're getting late in the day. It is getting late. This is a fucking... This is why I've stopped driving to your house

because it's like, man, these days we'll do Patreon episodes, we'll do the full episode, we'll do this. We always do a beautiful 30-minute shit talk up top until we run out of things to say and then we start the podcast, which is cool.

So Patreon subscribers, let's kick it off. The Stuart Hall of Fame first. Cab off the rank this week. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Rory Gerthel. Okay. G-O-E-T-H-E-L. What do you think? Rory Gerthel.

Is it Gerthel? Say it again. G-O-E-T-H-E-L. Gerthel. Yeah, I suppose so. Rory Gerthel. Rory is a shocker of a name, I'm sorry to say. We've covered Rory many times on this show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've had a lot of Rorys. I would say this podcast maybe have more Rory listeners than any other podcast. Oh, man. I wonder how we could work that out. I feel like it's overly represented. It's own wing in the Oz comedy hall of fame? Most Rory listeners.

Yes, yes. Rory. I would have talked about how my girlfriend has a really good friend called Aurora. And I think that's a name that written down looks beautiful. But then every time you come to say it, you're like, good Lord. I feel like I've got a mouthful of marbles. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't want to be inebriated. So Rory is kind of the, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you don't want to be... Rory.

...inebriated. So Rory is kind of the... Yeah, it's sort of the similar thing. Looking at it on the page, it's like, no, that's pretty inoffensive. Yeah. But then doesn't feel... Doesn't feel great

coming out of the boots. No, you don't want to say it too often. Yeah, Rory. You don't have to be getting up every day going, fuck it. Another day of saying this fucking five to ten times.

Rory. Rory. Rory. If you were going out with a bloke called Rory, you'd be giving him like a... That's awesome.

Yeah. It's like drinking. You'd be giving him a nickname pretty quickly I reckon. Something else. Raw. Yeah.

How often do you refer to your girlfriend by her name? That's a great question. Basically never. Yeah. Even to like friends that know her i'm using a nickname yeah uh yeah i think i don't i do it even less now because we have a child oh yeah so

it's always like a bit like you don't want to you know tell anyone that super's really Clark Kent. So even when I'm talking in front of Blanket, I'm saying, I have to say, Mummy, this is not cool for a relationship. I don't enjoy that part of it, but it's like all of a sudden I'm caught. I sound like I've got dementia or something because I'm calling my wife Mummy. I was really adamant that I would never be this person and it lasted maybe a week.

But we're going full mummy and daddy around the dog. Oh, right. Isn't that awful? Yeah, right. It's disgusting. I really thought I'll be dead in the ground rather than be one of those people. And then it's like a lot of things. You do it once or twice ironically as a lark and then all of a sudden now it's just like, you know, I walk into the room.

My girlfriend will be doing something. The dog's on the couch. I'm like, what's mommy doing over there? Fuck. Well, we're doing that. We're doing the whole fucking dog and pony show. Pretending, you know, the secret identity sort of thing. Then the other day, like a week ago, someone said to my child, what's your mom's name?

And she just goes, goes oh it's this and says it don't say her name don't say her name yeah just like full on has it I'm like

what's fucking going on there like how'd you have that up her sleeve yeah I didn't know that she so you're literally never referring to your wife by name in front of your kid

yes that's so weird well I you know just had to look through a wallet and found a driver's license yeah yeah yeah yeah that is strange I mean we must but kids are very literally you know what She's had a look through her wallet and found her driver's license. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that is strange.

I mean, we must. But kids are very, it literally just happened once around her and she's like filed that away. You know what it is? Her parents? It's, yeah. It's going to the in-laws, the aunties, the parents. That's where it's coming from. Does she know your name?

That's brutal. Yeah. Knowing one and not the other. No, she said it before. Okay. Because she's, again, yeah, whatever. But, like, there's been stages where she'll just go, nah, your name's Carl. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it's not. It's daddy. Yeah. It's daddy. That's really good. Nah, it's not. It's Daddy. It's Daddy. That's really good. No, it's Carl. Yeah. So, yeah, she's sort of figured out that there are different names.

Okay. Yeah. Well, you've got to introduce her to Rory. See if she can get her head around that as a name. Rory. She doesn't. Well, she knows the O. She knows O's.

She doesn't know. She's not a big one for R's. And there's two of them in there. So I think she'll struggle a little bit. 50% of the name just out already. Yeah. So it's O and Y. Oi.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thanks, Rory. Thanks, Rory Gerthel. Thanks, Gerthy. Gerthel. Hmm.

Hmm. If that is your real name. Let us know. Let us know if it's not. Rory Gerthel. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Shane Andrews. I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly. Yeah.

Shane. Yeah. Shane with a Y? No. Okay. Old school. Yeah. Yeah.

The way it got intended. Yeah, it's a bit weird, isn't it? It's a very... I mean, it kind of looks cool. I think it sort of jazzes up the name a little bit when you're looking at it spelled, but it's like, eh, it doesn't need to be in here. Is Shane a better girl's name or boy's name? I don't know if I've ever heard it as a girl's name.

Haven't you? No. I remember a friend of mine early days being like, yeah, you know that porn star called Shane and I'm like no and I'm like oh no

and like just I find it funny that thing where I had a like someone will talk about someone like that

and be like oh my god oh fucking blah blah blah and then you go okay well this this is gonna be good yep and then you find out exactly what someone's into.

You know what I mean? Like sort of like then I saw the person and then went, is that what you think is like the absolute perfect specimen? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We had a guy at school who would like download pornos for people. This was like back in the day of, obviously, pre-red tube and... Yeah, pre-cum. Like, before...

Yeah, red tube and all the kind of sites. Bit of LimeWire bullshit. Yeah, he was one of the few people in our class that had a good internet connection at home. Parents also didn't give a fuck what he was doing. I think he just would get you yeah he was like i'll give you the stuff that i've got yeah which is a weird window into what your friend is masturbating to yes because literally like here's my private collection

yes all right yeah nothing too it's just a weird like when it's all of your friends that just have access to like the same 10 videos yeah so So you know that you're all beating off to the exact same stuff. Right. It's a weird world to be in. Yeah. I remember being in a workplace once where someone, I left a lappy open or something, and somebody was just going,

you know what, I might just open a window and go, let's just see what happens if I Google.jpg and see what comes up. And then someone's fucking had a bit of a look at what's on there and waited for me to come back in and go, oh, is this what you like? And me going, fucking hell. So wait, you left your computer up, someone else walked past

and just looked through your pictures? Yeah. Yeah, that's weird. Yeah. That's weirder than, that's like weirder for them to have done that than anything that you would be looking at, I assume.

Yeah. I'd like to think so it's a close call yeah okay sure sure sure yeah that is such a oh man i'd i'd lose my fucking mind if someone did that oh look i was it was definitely a moment of me going so what's am i the bad one yeah are you what's allowed is this normal work yeah i mean whether or not you really have anything to because for most people it's like, yeah, it's pretty vanilla. Yeah.

Like the reason you would go looking, you're going to be hoping to find something more spicy than what you do find. Yeah. But still, it's like, that's not the point. Yeah. It's like a massive violation of someone's personal space. It's sort of going through someone's wallet, isn't it, really? Yeah.

Yeah. Someone's wallet where they've just got all this porno in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't know what your wallet's like. Pol what your boy i can only go on my own experience yeah yeah yeah that's that's what i do yeah i'm always accidentally you know paying for something at 7-eleven with a big picture of a pussy but yeah yeah oh sorry i thought that was a five dollar note i actually have my own currency i've gotten printed that's got nude women on it. I have a lot of nude pictures of the Queen in my wallet. Yeah.

So I thought that it was really just a $5 note. Yep. Yep. Oh, man. Sorry about that. Yeah, that's Shane Andrews. I should... Yeah, I'm going to...

I can't even remember now, but... Yeah, there was a porn star called Shane. There was a porn star called Shane. Shane. Not an Australian porn star, because that sounds like a very bogan porn star. But yeah, no, a female. Here we go. Her full name is Shane Hewitt.

Okay. Oh, wow. Okay. All right. Yeah. So I can sort of see why. And so wait, when you said, is it a better name for a boy or a girl? Yes.

And I said, I've never heard of it as a girl. Yes. Is this literally the only female Shane you've ever heard of? No, I've heard of other Shanes. Yeah, I've never. Really? I don't think I've ever heard it before, yeah. Really?

Shane Hewitt. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm coming around to it. I could, yeah, I could see myself getting on board with it. You could see yourself masturbating to it? I think I could see myself masturbating to a Shane Hewitt. Show me a pic.

I'm trying to find a good example. You know what? I'll just Google. I'll just use my own phone. You may have known her from such series as the Seymour Butts series. Okay. Yeah. You know Seymour Butts series. Okay. Yeah. You know Seymour Butts?

Yeah. Is this her? No. I don't know who that is, but that is a man. So, no. Yeah. It's just all men. Show me all men.

What I just Googled was Shane Pawnstar. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. This, again, feels like I'm going to get punked here. No, no, no. I mean, look. All right, here we go.

And now we're talking. Yeah. Just a couple of fellas looking at porn together. Is that her? That's another man. I don't know what filters you've got on your Google. You're filtering out all women for some reason. filters you've got on your google filtering out all women for some reason just exclusively finding pictures of dicks and then showing them to me as well

it's a good bit is this the woman you're talking about is this your woman well shane um shane andrews maybe i just need to go to the source let's let's get to facebook and Well, Shane Andrews. Maybe I just need to go to the source. Let's get to Facebook and see what we're dealing with. I'll get into the Millionaire's Club. So you think there is a chance that this could be a lady that we're talking about here, the subscriber? I doubt it. Well, you're thinking it's a male subscriber.

Yeah. Well, let's go in. Have a squiz. let's go in. Have a squiz. Let's go in. Get to the bottom of this mystery. Let's hope he or she is in the Millionaires group and then we'll know. Who did I say?

Shane Andrews. Mm-hmm. Shane Andrews. Let me tell you. What do you got for us? Shane Andrews is a lady. Really? Okay. Shane Andrews is a lady. Really? Okay. Shane Andrews is a lady.

There you go. All right. My first ever one. Yep. My second. If I had never, if this person hadn't subscribed, I probably would have gone to the grave thinking that Shane is only a man's name. Yep.

And this is, man, what an education. You've seen a lot of black penises name. Yep. And this is, man, what an education. You've seen a lot of black penises today. Yep. And you've found that Shane can be a girl's name.

And then I started looking up that stuff at the post. Oh, nice. Thank you, Shane. Thanks,

Shane. Milady. Yep. Good work. Thank you very much to Thanks, Shane. Milady. Yeah. Good work. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber, Phoebe Collins. Now, do you prefer Phoebe as a man or a lady's name? Man. You do?

Yeah. Right. Okay. All right. I'll Google Phoebe Big Black Dick and see what comes up. Who's your favorite Phoebe out there? What are the contenders? Friends is the first one that comes to mind.

I can't... What are other Phoebes? Phoebe... Oh, a friend of ours has a child called Phoebe. Oh, yeah? So who's better, you think, out of the friends Phoebe and your friends Phoebe? Well, you know what? We talked about this on the pod a little while ago with Nina.

Apparently Phoebe. Oh, no good. Tough work. Right. Tough work on set. Yeah. So I have to say based on that that the, yeah, the 13-year-old child is our friend. Right.

One, two. Yeah. Well, I'll posit a third Phoebe. Yep. And it might be, I don't know. I don't know whether you've seen this movie or not. But Phoebe Cates. Remember Phoebe Cates, the actress?

Yeah, from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Fast Times, legendary scene in that. And the co-lead in the romantic interest in Gremlins. Oh, okay. Kevin Kline's wife. Yeah, okay. But yeah, the great... I mean, that Fast Times scene is legendary.

Yes. With good reason. Yes. It's a good film. I came to that very, very after the fact. Yeah. It holds up. It's one of those ones that's...

That attractive naked woman still holds up. Yeah, nothing's changed. Wow. It's one of those ones that's, yeah, was like probably when I was like maybe 20, 21 or so and just trying to do that thing where you go back through kind of like all the ones that are always talked about as classics especially like within the realm of comedy but really went in being like oh yeah here we go like you know this won't be any good yeah this is probably dated but I thought it was pretty fucking good good movie funny yeah I should go back and watch it is it on a streaming service um I don't know

it'd be nice to watch on a streaming service rather than the way I watched it where 100% clear scenes and then gets the Phoebe Cates getting out of the pool and they're not as clean. That guy is really funny too. Judd? Yes. Judd Nelson or Judd? The guy's batting off over it.

The guy's jerking off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very funny. He's imagining her getting out of the guy's jerking off yeah yeah yeah very funny yeah he's he's imagining her getting out of the pool and jerking off and then she and he's in the toilet

and you find out that it's not actually happening she hasn't taken her top off and then she walks in to use the toilet as he's jerking off it's funny like it's funny that

you know I always find this funny in films where like it's like a dream sequence and so like that didn't happen. That's in his imagination. But to make the film, it did happen.

You know what I mean? Right. It's not like that's not what she looks like without a top on. No, that's 100%. That just is the actress without a top on. Oh, you think that maybe Phoebe Cates in there is going home to her husband or boyfriend at the time and going... It doesn't count. I didn't do a nudity. I didn't do a nude scene.

It didn't do a nude scene. It was an imaginary one. It's in someone's dream. Yeah. Yeah, that is... Yeah, kind of. Yeah. That's...

Well, that would be good from the director going, it's not a real nude scene. This is just happening in someone's imagination. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So a lot of the audience will think we've tricked it up or that it's not actually really you. Or maybe they think they're dreaming. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So a lot of the audience will think we've tricked it up or that it's not actually really you. Or maybe they think they're dreaming. Yeah, exactly. They're part of the dream. A movie that half of it takes place inside your own dreams,

that would be cool. Just giving you a bit of inspiration. The first half of the movie is just inspiration and then you're meant to fall asleep straight after that and then it's like you fill in the blanks, the back end of the movie in your sleep. What was the last time you had some nudity in a dream? Fuck, that's a great question.

I will say I'm going through a big spell at the moment of not remembering my dreams at all. I don't know what influences this, but, you know, it's like sometimes you feel like you're having a lot of vivid ones, and you're like, like I'll have periods where it's like I'm remembering them like every night. Very vivid stuff happening. And yeah, at the moment. Because you're getting up and you're thinking like i'll have periods where it's like i'm remembering them like every night very vivid stuff happening and yeah at the moment because you're getting up and you're thinking about them that's why yeah i'm i'm on hiatus at the moment yeah just blank airwaves from yeah yeah lights out i don't know a long period of that and i think they're back i think dreams are back yeah right i don't know what's going on with me at the moment i gotta say i don't mind it though i don't mind having a break it's good having a break i do find like if like i'll have like a lot of like anxiety dreams and

it's just like you just wake up exhausted like if you're remembering all of them and you kind of like you feel like you're in the reality of the dream and like bad stuff is happening to you and you wake up and you're like oh you're just like you know what i mean you're like you feel like you've lived this traumatic experience in your sleep. Man, I love the Mitch Hedberg joke. He says, I love to sleep, but I hate to dream because dreaming is hard work. You're relaxing in your bed, nice pillow, warm blanket. You drift off. All of a sudden, you've got to fucking fix a go-kart with your ex-landlord.

Yeah. It's like, this is hard work. If it's vivid enough and it taps into enough of like an anxiety that you have at the time or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. It's totally. It's exhausting. Too much.

Yeah. I want to be, yeah, I want to be knocked out. I want to be, yeah, I want to be off the air for those seven or eight hours. Yeah. Pull the plug. Yeah. Yeah. Don't give me work to do.

Yeah. It's like, yeah. You know, during the day, you're trying to think of concepts, you're working on stuff, you're thinking of, you know, things to create. And then you go, I want a break from this. And your brain's like, no, we're going to amp it up, actually, the creativity, if that's okay with you. We'll get very creative, but in a way that you can't do anything with it.

It's not like, here's a great pitch for a TV show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, I would love to know. I want one of these fucking Paul McCartney dreams where he wakes up and he starts singing show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, I would love to know. I want one of these fucking Paul McCartney dreams where he wakes up and he starts singing Yesterday. Yeah. And he's like, does everyone know this song? And they're like, that song doesn't exist.

Well, and because you can't win because it's either it's a bad dream and it's like very stressful and like bad stuff is happening. Like I've had, like I've gone through periods where I have like a lot of death dreams, but like about like people I know being dead and like being at the, and like I've gone through periods where I have like a lot of death dreams, but like about like people I know, like people I know being dead and like, like being at the, and like,

I've had dreams where I've like relived my grandpa's funeral, just like awful stuff like that. So it's either that, or let's say you dream about something really good happening. That's not even good. Cause you wake up and you're like, Oh, but that's not real.

That's a shame. So it's like, you can't, there is no, like there is no like perfect. I guess like a really silly dream that's just devoid of reality. it's like oh yeah what if i was you know what if i was an alien yeah and i was flying around you know that's that's kind of a bit of fun but even that you try and tell someone you're like oh man i had this crazy dream and they're like i don't care

yeah this is just invented i don't give a fuck yeah i i I feel bad. Sometimes my wife will say, oh, yeah, I had this dream and you were in it. It was really weird. Am I cool? It's like, did you have a dream? Like, yeah, I dreamt about a fucking giraffe that can fly or something. And she's like, was I in it? Like, I don't think I've ever dreamed of you.

Really? I was in the doghouse on Sunday because my girlfriend had a dream that I cheated on her. Oh, no. And so I'm paying for that in the real world. Yeah. That's my fault somehow. You've got your suck job in the Matrix

and now you're copping it out here. It did actually, to give credit to dream me, it did actually sound pretty funny. Oh, really? Where it was like we were in the dream, we were at like a function and I was just like, yeah, anyway, my other girlfriend. And she was like, what?

I was like, yeah, I've just got this other girlfriend at the moment. moment and she was like oh can can we go talk about this wow okay i guess so and so she's like so you've got this other girlfriend are you breaking up with me i'm like no so just in the dream i i guess i'm like poly but just like haven't run that by her as a discussion i've just actioned it no discussion in the relationship yeah so yeah i was i was having to do a lot of clawing back in the real world that's a half a day back in the good books it's a half day until that sort of feeling from a dream like that wears off i reckon that's a good half day yeah no totally you still especially if you're like it's one of those ones where you're kind of like half lucid yeah those ones that happen like kind of last thing before you wake up where you're sort of

aware that you're dreaming yeah brutal fucking stuff yeah well thanks phoebe collins thanks phoebe collins thanks for reminding me of um one of the great scenes of um celluloid um tommy's gonna look it up right now uh thank you very much to patreon subscriber sanjay nay nay do or nido nido n-a-i-d-u what do you reckon no i do no i do no i do i think so sanjay sanjay this must be our first sanjay gotta be it has to be i'm looking it up now yeah sanjay sanjay cool name absolutely um yeah wow real I'm glad that this sort of show can appeal to

people of all nationalities it's a real melting pot isn't it cultures bring us all together I like that about this show universal art

I've always whenever we've been at a live show I like looking out and just seeing all completely different sorts of people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone.

A utopia. A unique snowflake. Every one of them. Like, I sometimes think, like, if the apocalypse kind of kicked off outside and we were just all kind of stuck in here together, us and this audience, you know, we'd be able to kind of, like, we'd be able to get the world repopulated in a way where we'd still be like you know addressing all the cultures right you know we've got we've got enough of everyone in here right everyone's represented well all the colors of the rainbow what are you looking up i just looked up this person in the uh millionaire group and the only post they've made is um who wants a spare ticket to the 500th episode? Just giving it away.

Sanjay. Yeah, those people that are like, don't even want the money back, just like you can have it. That's always brutal. I mean, we're doing this on Tuesday, the show's on Saturday. We probably are due for our Facebook groups

to become a fucking trading post in the next couple of days. I don't want to hear about that. No one's doing that. Everyone's going. Everyone's coming along. Everyone's made that commitment. No one's complaining about anything. And everyone's coming to the show.

And more people are coming. All their friends are buying tickets as well. They're probably bringing along people as well. Just going, oh, can we get tickets on the door? Yes. Yes, you can. And maybe buying two door? Yes. Yes, you can. And maybe buying two tickets for themselves

thinking, you know what? Stretch out. Let's get a business class. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, a seat to the show. Buy two seats,

relax, lie down for part of it if you like. Did you like the post in our group where someone said, do the floods mean that the show's

not going to be happening? Yeah. That's really going to impact us here in the inner city. A mere 10 kilometres from the water, yes. Yeah. And also the venue is up like two flights of stairs.

Even if it had reached the city, I think we'd still be going like, no, I mean, you know what? If you can get a little dingy into the show, we'll be on higher ground. We'll be all right. People are funny, aren't they? It is a funny old life. I've always said it. I love when these just deteriorate into both of us taking turns yawning.

Just running out the clock on the Patreon read. Yeah. I am yoked. I'm going to try and go to the gym after this. Oh, wow. It's fucking iron. Fuck, I'm glad I did my work in the morning. But having said that, I'm going to a gig,

which is probably just as much of a thing not to look forward to, given this state of mind. You don't look forward to the gym? No, no, no, no. I just mean if I was going to the gym now, I would not be looking forward to it. You'd feel too tired? Yes.

Yeah, okay. I like going early. I'm the morning guy. Yeah, okay. You know not be looking forward to it. You'd feel too tired? Yes. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I like going early. I'm the morning guy. Yeah, okay. You know what my perfect gym session is? Is Friday morning when I go and there's a little crash at the gym. Yeah, at the gym. The YMCA.

And I drop off Blanket. And it's a 90-minute booking. And so then I'm committed to doing 90 minutes. That's good. Yeah, yeah, that's really good. You can't get out of it. Yeah. Yeah, you have to do it.

You could. Well, you're not supposed to. You can just leave and go for a walk. You're not supposed to. Well, okay. Yeah, you're not supposed to leave the building. So, yeah, it's good. It's like it locks you in and goes, yep, yep.

You can't just, like, do 20 minutes and go, let's sort of – there's no use doing it if you can't just like do 20 minutes ago yeah that's sort of there's no use doing it if you don't feel like doing it because it will sort of do your harm rather than good you know talking yourself into doing something i've got so much work to do i can always come back tomorrow yep yeah 90 minutes fucking go for it yeah anything where you're like locked in i mean that's why f45 appeals to me it's like class you walk in that door and look, I'll be honest, I've had days where I've like gone in and I'm already not in the mood. I just don't feel like

I'm doing my best work in there anyway and it's like 10 minutes into the class and I'm like, I could just leave now. Like literally, there's nothing stopping me

other than the shame of everyone seeing me walk out and even when I've really, really felt like it, it's still just enough of a hurdle to be like, but you can't. The class is on. Yeah. You're mid-class. Yeah. And at this point that you're hating it, it's still it's still just enough of a hurdle to be like but you can't yeah the class is on yeah you're mid-class yeah and at this point that you're hating it it's like

it's another half hour what's that just see this out and then get out of here well it's like running it's like running to a point and then having to turn around and come back it's like well why stop now yeah you gotta fucking get back. Once you're bored and you want to be home, it's like, well, if I run, then I'll just be home quicker. Yes. The experience is over sooner. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, thanks, Sanjay. Thanks, Sanjay. Yeah. And if anyone wants that free ticket to the 500s, hit up Sanjay Naidoo on Facebook. Well, we are still getting the ticketing updates every day from Ticketek. So we should say they are starting to move. So if you wanted to come, probably don't sleep on it. We both get the updates every day from the show in April. Yep.

And it has never stopped. And I've requested for it to stop. Oh, you have? Yes. And it still hasn't stopped. That's cool. Yeah. What do you reckon the chances of us hitting a year?

That's my. What do you reckon the chances of us hitting a year? That's my big dream. A year past the show date, still getting ticketing updates would be pretty awesome. Yeah, I was going to say maybe we should both pick a date to figure out when it eventually stops. It does feel a bit silly to make it stop at this point. I mean, I just have made my peace with the fact that... I mean, because I have things that I'll get emails to that I never signed up to and you send back the unsubscribe thing and they just keep coming. Right. You know, there's always like a loophole where they're like, well, you opted out of these types of emails.

Right. But you actually didn't opt out of these types of emails. So we're going to keep sending them. Right. So, I mean, my inbox is so full of stuff that I don't want to see anyway. The ticketing updates i'm just like ah it's just one more thing on the pile yeah i've just stuff that i don't fucking care about reading well now that i'm now that you've you've said that now i'm like it's not

even vague it was vaguely annoying before but now it's not now that i'm like okay let's do a year i think we can get to a year yeah i think we could at this point i think we could get to a year. Yeah. I think we could, at this point, I think we could get to 10 years. Like, if they haven't stopped now, why are they ever going to stop? We are getting updates for a gig that was supposed to happen in, what, April 2020? Yes. Yeah. So we've been getting, oh, right, and we got, but we put the tickets on sale, what, like end of 2019, I guess? Oh, that's right, yes.

So we would have started getting them pretty much immediately, right? Yes. Because the gig was never cancelled. The date would just move. Yes, of course. So I think we are – it probably was roughly around this time that we set it up. So I think we are now three years deep into getting these emails. That's pretty amazing.

Three years of emails from Ticketmaster.. Three years of emails from Ticketmaster. Yeah. Of daily emails from Ticketmaster. I'll tell you what has been annoying me about it a couple of times is that I can't think what an example would be, but there is enough kind of text in the emails that we're being sent that there's been a couple of times I've had to search for something in my inbox and the term that I'm using is something that's also in those emails and so all of a sudden it's like you know it's something

that i'm like oh i think i got sent this like a year and a half ago i'll put this in and then it's bringing up all of those ticker tech emails from it so it's like great now i've got to wade through 700 emails of just this before i get to anything close to what I'm looking for. Yeah. Fuck. It's cool. Yeah. I agree.

Thanks Sanjay. Yeah. Thanks for reminding us of a great daily experience we have. For me it's gym, run and then check

ticket tech. Are you still opening them? No. I have to say no. I should. Tomorrow I will. You know what? Tomorrow I I have to say no. I should. Tomorrow I will. You know what? Tomorrow I will.

Just to see what's happening. Yep. I mean, that would be cool if we like, yeah, open it up and they're like, hey, heaps of people got refunds. You owe us money. Well, it would be cool because we got the money already. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever happens from here on in, it's either that's on you or hang on, what?

People are still buying tickets and you're giving them money? Yeah, the tickets are still on sale. If people are dumb enough to buy them this long after the fact, hey, you can just have the money. You know what? If you don't want to buy a ticket to this weekend's 12th birthday show, buy a ticket to the 500th episode. Yeah.

Yeah. Do Ticket Tech a solid. Let us know that someone in there is at least, you know, adding to it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't think it would be anywhere on the internet anymore that page

but no who knows I'm sure you get in the way back machine you could probably find it I'd like that thanks Sanjay alright let's just do one more

we've both got I think for once we're probably are you hungry I'm not hungry I am hungry not because I haven't eaten but I just had a really quick, small lunch.

I just had a couple of muesli bars. Right. Not very good. I'm going to struggle at the gym. Nothing in the tank. No fuel. I went to a restaurant the other day, a restaurant slash cafe. They had a sign out the front saying $8 for muesli bars.

Okay. I was like, hmm. It seemed like an odd price for a muesli bar. Yeah. Depends on the size of the bar, I guess. I guess so. It's also not a thing

I'd think to get from a cafe. No. It's like, I generally have a little box of them on deck for if I'm like, just don't have the time to, you know, go get something

or make something. It's like, oh, you know what, doing this and then driving somewhere and just, yeah,

I'll just have a couple of muesli bars in the car. That'll sustain me. But it's not oh you know what doing this and then driving somewhere and yeah i just have a couple of muesli bars in the car that'll sustain me but it's not i mean i would never have it by choice yeah uh all right let's let's just do one more uh thank you very much to patreon subscriber oh okay fuck god what are the odds i mean pretty pretty low this is happening all the time anyway thank you very much to Patreon subscriber, Rory Comedy. Wow. Yeah.

Fuck, there are a lot of Rory's that listen to this. This is, that's one name. I mean, out of that name, Rory Comedy, it seems like we say Rory

every week. I know. On this, on this name. Yeah. On this part of the show. Yeah. It's the most constant,

I mean, first time we've had comedy, but Rory, fucking hell. Do you prefer Rory as a girl's or boy's name? prefer Rory as a girls or boys name I prefer comedy as a girls name

right oh is this the porn star Rory comedy yes alright well thanks Rory and thank you everyone who supports the show patreon.com

slash little dum dum club get on there get yourself the two bonus episodes every week we really appreciate the support as well and yeah of course this Saturday little dum littledumbdumbclub.com, get those last tickets to the big 12th birthday slash

Oz Comedy Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Going to be a lot of fun. Get ready to vote for Suck My Dick to be inducted into the Australian Comedy Hall of Fame. Come down and get yourself a little democracy sausage. All right. Thanks guys. Bye.