The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 630 - Danny McGinlay & Adam Rozenbachs

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

This week we're joined by DANNY MCGINLAY & ADAM ROZENBACHS for a beautiful reunion of an episode that we did ten years ago. Danny's bombed in Sydney on the NRL Footy Show, Rozie's been kicked out of a marquee, and Tommy's encountered a crazy man obsessed with gozleme. PLUS Karl is days away from his trip to Bangkok with Brett and Milan. There's chaos in the boys trip group chat, and we brainstorm all the possible ways that Karl and Brett's stand-up gig on Friday night could go wrong. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Danny McGinley and Adam Rosenbarks. Head over to patreon.com slash little dumb dumb club. If you want to support the show, get two bonus mini episodes every week. We are going to talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dumb Dumb, but until then, enjoy this brand new episode with Adam Rosenbarks and Danny McGinley. Hey, mates! Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week.

Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow and with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, Dickhead. And joining us today, two very special guests. Please welcome back onto the show, Danny McGinley and Adam Rosenbach! Hey! Yeah! Hey, boys! Mates! guests please welcome back onto the show danny mcginley and adam rosenbachs finally you have reunited to the most popular episode of all time i told you don't be obscure

on the podcast leave it behind and the mics are off you can do all your b-side bullshit which episode was that do you know we've done one before together have we literally 10 years ago and i listened to it on the way into this. Really? What happened on it then? Okay, let me tell you the differences. First of all, thanks for just getting into us straight away. Like you said, welcome to the Daily Mail, Adam Rosenbach.

Literally, you didn't talk, Rosie, for the first six and a half minutes. Great. Until you were intro'd. Break your record. Keep a lid on it. Let's go for seven this time. No, but to be fair, that's because in the olden days for some reason we had in our head

that we should do a whole fucking routine back and forward and ignore the guests in the room for whatever reason. Yep. It was weird the way you did that. I'd just been married, so we talked about my wedding.

Congratulations. And that's as far as I got. Still waiting for my invite? Well, when are you going to start running a comedy room, Tommy? It does go into a long... There's a lot of Carl just talking about how hot he finds my wife.

Right. The other thing... No wonder Rosie stayed silent. It was pre-me too. I guess not everything's changed then. We also mentioned Rosie's very short-lived radio moniker, Captain Wacky.

Oh, yes, yes. That's right. I do remember that. You do remember that? But my favourite bit... Sounds like a great episode. You wanted obscure, Carl. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My favourite bit from the first 15 minutes that I listened to was you guys got a letter... Oh, if you had to pick one favourite bit... I did. So hard. You got listener mail from a bloke from Germany who was very disappointed when he saw a photo of you two. Because he was convinced that Tommy was a short-statured person.

Okay. He uses the term dwarf, but it's ten years later. We're not going to use that term. And he thought, genuinely, as horrible as Carl Chandler is, he never brings up Tommy being a dwarf. And so he goes in for every other... That's a good point. Let's just put that episode out again.

This sounds pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, nice. This can just be like a Dumb Dumb Club Presents and we can top and tail it. We can just stop this now, put the episode out, and then come back and go on. They've done it again.

Master pod theatre. Also, as if Carl's not mentioning the fact that he's doing a podcast with a short-statured person. Yeah. Oh, as if anyone's not saying something. Yeah, I know, I know. You've been bringing that up at some point. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, if that was 10 years ago, then presumably that's like early days of the pod where I can imagine you being like, you know, I've got to keep it civil. I'm not going to mention the fact that I'm doing a pod with someone with actual dwarfism. Right. But then you have to imagine by year five it's just open slatter yeah well it's a bit like what's game of thrones is popular i reckon i'm copping a lot of yeah well not only that but like you've done all your good stories now it's like what have i got this week nothing much hey you little cunt how's the weather down there cunt

can you can you look up and do up my shoes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This would be good stuff. Yeah. All right. Yeah. But so, Danny, thank you for joining us today. I feel like we have had you on the hook for about five days now.

Oh, yeah. You were meant to be... We were meant to be doing an episode Friday morning with Chris Franklin. Yes. Who slept through his alarm. Chris Franklin? Yeah. Yeah. Slept through his alarm.

Yeah, I was meant to pick him up. Is that two different shocks there? Wow, you can get Chris Franklin on your podcast? And then wow. He owns an alarm clock? Scurvy make you deaf. Oh, well, that answers the question. Can you drink your alarm clock?

Obviously no. He's still got one. I was meant to pick him up at 8.30am at the Exford Hotel and Rosie, you're not going to believe this. It all went horribly pear-shaped. The audacity and optimism, Tommy, that you would have thought Chris Franklin would be awake at 8.30am. The night, the morning after the night

that Exford begins its comedy night. The return of Exford comedy. The worst gig in Melbourne. And he was staying in the pub as well. Yeah. I mean, look, very naive of us, but very good of you to be able to... I think in his words he said he blamed the pub for not closing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He said, oh, it's just that tricky thing when the pub doesn't close. And I'm like, yeah, I've been to venues before. It's out of my hands. That old chestnut. Have you ever stayed at a city pub? No. No, I don't reckon I...

Oh, I reckon no. I stayed at one at the... I think it was called the Three Crowns in Surrey Hills. Okay. In Sydney. And it's fucking... It's shit. I know that pub.

That's a 24-hour pokey venue. Yeah, it fucking is. I feel like any time if you've been to a city and you've been in a pub and you've been in a pub and you see like rooms available you're always like mental note because then you're looking up on booking.com and you're like especially in sydney it's like everywhere is expensive and then you go oh this place isn't too bad and then you go hang on a minute i remember that name that's a pub right i'm not fucking staying in this i'm sleeping in a v lounge. I'm in the more chilly suite.

Actually, I've got an anecdote about that pub. I once did... Clang, I did the NRL footy show. You did stand up on it? Did stand up on it. You and Craig McLaughlin. Yeah. And I went slightly better than Craig McLaughlin. Big boast.

Big boast. No, no. I came very close to dying. It did not go well. And they record it like it's on an hour delay. Can you tell us the set list? Yeah, sure. The subject matters you were talking about.

Yeah. You come out in a dress. No, they wanted me to play up being a guy from Melbourne. So I wore a Melbourne Storm top that they gave me. Oh, no. So they hate you already. Yeah. Well, this is the year that...

This is 2010, so for anyone who doesn't know anything about NRL, which I assume is 99.9% of your listeners... And of this room. And of this room. That was the year Melbourne Storm had been busted cheating the salary cap. So they had been stripped of all premiership points and were coming dead last. And my opening gag was

yeah, it's tough you being a Storm fan. I'll tell you what, the day that it was announced we were cheaters I remember all of Melbourne was just like, what?

Really? We have a rugby team? There we go. Yeah, good, good, good. Silence. Was this brand new that you were trying on a TV set?

It had got some laughs in Melbourne. Just probably hadn't tried it in front of a Sydney crowd, especially one that cared about rugby league. Oh, yeah, and especially when you're doing that relatable thing about Melbourne and they're like, we're not Melbourne, cunt. Yeah, yeah. Well, you don't know what you know down there.

I thought I was just picturing like the NRL footy show view of Melbourne. I thought it was going to be like they wanted you to come out dressed like Melbourne and then like your walk on music is like the village people or something. You know what I mean? They're very like stagehand hands you a fucking latte to walk out with. You've got two walls wedged either side of you like you're in some tiny laneway on stage. And then they make it rain for no reason.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they just boo everything you say and you're like, why am I doing this? Yeah, it was pretty much like that thing was accurate. How long did you do? I did about four or five minutes. I sort of got him back at the end.

This will surprise you, Carl. A few impressions on the moment. Oh, nice. What was your favourite impression? It was Bear Grylls. I don't think I've ever seen you do Bear Grylls.

Have you not? No, I don't think so. I don't need to hear it, but I don't think I've seen you do it Bear Grylls. Have you not? No, I don't think so. I don't need to hear it, but I don't think I've seen you do it. I can imagine. What did Yoda have to say about the Manly Football Club? Yoda was not happy about Lightbee being served at an NRL game. Salary cap there is not.

That bit would have got, you know, if Yoda had been commenting on the Storm salary cap, I think it would have gotten it over the line. So I went to the pub, the Three Crowns after that, and I just start drinking very heavily. I just go like this. And I'm drinking by myself. And I'm just like, I'll probably pound about five pints in about 20 minutes.

You overstepped schooners. You didn't even want to schooner. Straight to pints. No wonder they didn't like you in Sydney. You're not even drinking their metric. I fucking love a schooner. Yeah, yeah. Schooner's perfect.

Yeah, that's right. You've just tweeted about this. Let me just use this anecdote and then I'll join you on that tirade. I was actually, yeah. Sorry, yeah, go, go. Just anyway, so I start, I just start drinking it very quickly

and eventually the bartender just, I'm like the only one in the pub. Yeah. And he comes over and he goes, mate, are you all right? And I go, nah. And he goes, why? And at that moment,

my set was coming on TV and it was on over there and I literally just pointed and I went have a look and you'll see why cranked the volume up and he went oh wow you're on TV

I think the TV's broken I can't hear the laughs no no volume's on max and security came over asked him to leave mate you're going to have to hang on hang on volume's on max

no TV's still broken I'm listening to what you're saying why would you say this it must be the TV he genuinely he watched it and saw it go Hang on, hang on. Volume's on max. No, TV's still broken. I'm listening to what you're saying. Why would you say this? It must be the TV. He genuinely, he watched it and saw it go, you know, not that well. And he came over with three shots of whiskey. Oh, wow.

That's a good, that's cool. You need that, mate. I like that. So as long as you're a bad comic, you'll never need to pay for a drink in Sydney. You've got to be a bad comic on an hour delay, though. You can't just be like I mean bombing and having video of your set just at a gig

but then you're at a bar you're like watch this can I have a free pint now you can't be doing it live on stage just bombing on stage and going to the bartender

cooey are you watching this line them up actually I'm on at the comedy store this weekend so I might just purposely throw a few terrible jokes out there

just to get the bartender's attention. Yeah, that's a good move, man. Purposely. Sure. Doing pretty tough. Can't afford a beer at the comedy store. Just start bombing. Get them for free.

But no, you did tweet this, Rosie. You are right. We need to get more behind the schooner in this. Not to say micro for the listeners. When you say the schooner, so the point for everyone out there. Everyone outside of Australia. Not the South Australian schooner either, which is a fucking weird pint.

The pint's about half a litre, is it? Is that what it is? Yeah, yeah, I reckon it is. 685ml. Is it? Or 625. And so the schooner is 485. No, a schooner would be that.

Schooner's like, yeah. Schooner's about 373.80. Schooner's about $3.73 Schooner's like a stubby Schooner's like a can of coke Is it? $3.75 Yeah yeah Carl Google it We need research on this

Yeah you do have this Schooner's the I was just at the Builders Arms for lunch And I went to get a pint With my lunch And they were like Very sorry we only do schooners

They're You know they start They're getting in on the ground They've seen the tide turning They're like You know what Five years time Everyone in the city They're only, you know what, five years' time, everyone in this city, they're only going to be doing the schooner.

But especially in summer. 425 mil. 425, okay. So especially in summer, that's a schooey. Yep. And in summer, like when you're drinking pints outdoors, that's a fucking race. And just for the last couple hundred mil.

Yeah, yeah. You're just like, oh, I mean, I'll finish it. But I won't be happy about it. I'd step over my own mother to get one. And then pots, so a pot is $2.85, I reckon. Yeah, I agree with you on that. And pot, I love a pot, don't get me wrong. But that means you're just going back to the bar a lot because I'm a full-blown alcoholic.

Yeah, pots, like if you're driving, you might stick to a couple of pots. But if you're out for a sesh, it's like you're not bothering with the pot. If you're in a playground looking after your kid, have a few pots out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But otherwise, get around the school. But yeah, any venue you go to in Melbourne,

it's starting. The revolution's starting. Yeah, it's coming. There's a couple of pubs near footy grounds often just do schooners because they don't want to do pints because people are going to get drunk and belligerent. Because I go to the Cricketer'seters arms which is opposite tiger land yep that which i just mostly

go for the wallpaper which is just old footy cards and i'm such a oh that's such a footy yeah yeah he's like me you were about to just let fly but you've gone oh wait that's cool wait isn't that the place that has topless waitresses no that's the royal two people banging their heads together trying to get that answer Wait, isn't that the place that has topless waitresses? No, that's the Royal. Oh, okay. Yeah, just go for the wallpaper. Two people banging their heads together trying to get that answer right. But you said drunken belligerent. We're recording this during the Melbourne Cup. So what I love to see is the sea of people that hit bars after that.

So I saw a couple on Saturday around like Fitzroy area, you know, in suits and suits and ties. Yep. Just like dressed to the nines. They're like, oh, you don't belong here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've just, you've just meandered out from the Flemington race course, you know, walked,

got in a cab. Yeah. And it's still in a city cause you presumably live like deep burbs. Yes. Where it's like while we're out. And it's that lovely contrast of someone dressed to the nines yet unable to speak English. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I saw, I was up early the other morning. I was walking down Smith Street and it was like most shops not open yet. There was this like walking along the streets or this like pretty cooked like meth-y looking guy. And I walked past this place where it's like they're making gauze lame and they've got like a big window onto the street. So you can just kind of see the person like making up their gauze lame.

And this like fucked guy looking in the window like he's directing the goslamay chef. Like standing there being like, yeah, yeah, put some fucking mushrooms in it. Yeah, yeah, now put a bit more fucking spinach in it. Yeah, that's right. And this person either cannot hear him or is doing a very good job of ignoring him.

But he's there like he's doing Fantasia, just like conducting the symphony of the goslamay. I kind of loved him. But he's there like he's the, like he's doing Fantasia, just like conducting the symphony of the Goslamay. I kind of loved it. And so like I, cause I kind of saw him as I was walking down and I was like, oh no, I'm going to cop it from this guy.

And I clear him. He's too distracted by the Goslamay. So he lets me go. He doesn't notice me. He's onto the fourth movement. Yeah, exactly. But then just near him,

there's a guy who I thought was like with him, who was his mate, who's just kind of standing there watching him. And I think, well, he spotted me and I'm like, fuck, here we go. I'm going to cop it from this guy. And like, I just get to him and he looks at me and then looks at the guy at the window and he just points at him and goes, that's one of your mates, is it?

I was like, that's awesome. Being like multiple fucked people in the street, establishing the hierarchy in their head of like, that's awesome. Being like multiple fucked people in the street, establishing the hierarchy in their head of like, because this guy who'd said that, he wasn't wearing shoes, but he's still like, I'm doing better than the guy who's like dictating the gozleme. You don't need shoes to judge though. No.

It's a pecking order. Once you've judged someone, walk a mile in their bare feet. Exactly. Yeah, I do love that. Yeah, the law of the street of just like establishing like, no, I'm the king dick. You boys wouldn't have been in the race as much. Oh, no.

I went a couple of times. I mean, right now, literally the Melbourne Cup is happening right now. The actual race. We've always been told it's the race that stops a nation. It's really fucking disappeared. It hasn't even stopped a podcast. Yeah. Do you care at all?

No, I couldn't give a fuck about horse racing. But, you know, you go because if you can get into the birdcage, it's kind of fun. If you get invited to a marquee and it's just fucking beautiful little chicken sandwiches. It's like a mini little Christmas party. Yeah. Absolutely.

It's great. You might see Johnny Drama from Entourage DJing in the L'Oreal tent or whatever. All that sort of stuff. I got kicked out of the Maya tent once. It was fucking great. What'd you do? So this is about... I wish I was out there meeting the fifth rung star from Young Sheldon this year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever they've got. I think the cast from Love Boat will be there. Yeah, yeah. The real one. I know. The old Captain Scooby. The reeds for both.

I would go for that. I know you would. That would be Yeah, yeah. The real one. Or the old Captain Scooby. Or both, yeah. I would go for that. I know you would. That would be cool, yeah. They should actually bring out Captain Scatino from the Costa Concordia. That'd be good. Hey, I don't have

the most dated reference. Yeah, yeah. It is always good because it's like those people, it's just literally whatever brand, like whoever they can get, they just bring them out.

But then they also do all the rounds where it's, where, yeah, literally you yeah why is they had tommy lee yeah what the fuck does a vrc know about motley crew yeah but then also girls girls girls yeah that's a good one or dr feel good yeah i mean he doesn't even get to sing it he's the you're bringing in a drummer yeah but you know that no one's bringing him out because of motley crew it's like you banged pamela anderson yeah can you come and watch the horses? We've seen your dick. Yes.

Can you keep the horses in line? Flop it out and go, all right, there's a new sheriff in town, boys. That's how they should start the race. He should get his dong out and knock whatever opens the barriers. Yeah, yeah. That'd be fun, yeah. He's got it out. It's blocking the sun.

He shifts it and there's enough light to do the race. If you're not into watching the horses race, you can watch Tommy Lee dock a horse. Sure. So why did you get kicked out of the... So my girlfriend at the time knew people who were high up a mire and they got us into the tent. And so she was dancing.

This is late in the day, so I think the race isn't finished and it was kind of ending up but you know there's still another hour to go and she was dancing close down at the royal oak at the what do you mean the royal hotel the royal oaks on nicholson street sorry sorry she's a stripper imagine shadow top on this time right and so she was dancing too close to j to Jennifer Hawkins and her security detail kind of moved my girlfriend away pretty roughly and I was just like, hey, don't fucking touch her. Here we go. And then the guy said to me, what did you say? And I said, you fucking heard me.

And then it was like click of the fingers, like three blokes just swept me up and I was like, all right, we're out. This is classic racist behavior. You know what I mean? Like an incident like that, that's not a story for the security at all. It's like an. This is classic racist behavior. You know what I mean? An incident like that, that's not a story for the security at all. It's like an entire day of shit like that. Rosie, did you go,

all right, I'm being thrown out of bed as well. Might as well make a show. I'm never shopping at Meijer again. I'm a David Jones guy now. I'm never wanking over Jennifer Hawkins again. I've been escorted out of enough places to know you just go very passively. It's for the best.

Because nothing good's going to come of it. You're not going to convince them otherwise. No one's ever won that argument. You're not going to overpower them and get back in and just start drinking again. I've never seen a bouncer carry someone back in. Yeah, you got me. You got me, mate. I may have talked about this the last time you two guys were on,

but I remember vividly... I'll find out on the way. Put your hand up if any of this sounds familiar to any of you. When I was much younger, not getting let into a bar and saying the bouncer... It was that classic thing where it's like, you've had too much. I'm like, I've literally had one pint. They're like, no, you look really drunk, you're not coming in.

And I was getting so angry and I was like, I do a podcast. I'm going to talk about this on there. Oh my God. Thereby proving that I'm going to talk about this on there oh my god thereby proving that I'm too fucked to be let in not even from alcohol just general

to be fair do it give them a shout out now oh yeah the bouncer out the front of what used to be bimbos oh

I'm never going to that place it doesn't exist again yeah you can't ever go to Kewpie on Fitzroy on Brunswick Street Fitzroy again I used to not get into

bimbos. I know, yeah. No, they were pretty strict, were they? I remember they were always they would not let you in if you were in a suit and tie because you'd either come from the races or a wedding and either way you were drunk. Yeah. I like on the front of the Napier they've got no pub crawls. It's like how are you, like

so you're not allowed to come in here if you've been at any other bar this evening. They want exclusivity. Like, how are you qualifying that you're not allowed to come in here if you've been at any other bar this evening? They want exclusivity. How are you qualifying that? It's like we did the live show in Heathcote earlier this year. We stopped at a pub on the way and they've got a big sign on there saying, no shots. And we walked in and went, can we have some shots?

And they go, yeah. You're the one bar in town. You're not going to just attract riffraff. It's like everyone's just coming here anyway. And also, there was 50 of us that walked in or whatever. And so it's not like, there's,

it's not like one person going in and going, oh, we can do all this. It's like a rabble walked in and they go, absolutely rip the lid off, boys. Do whatever the fuck as we want. As much money as we can get.

Yeah, yeah. But the Napes, I was in there a couple of weeks ago and there was a pub crawl that came in. And so these guys were all wearing funny hats, right? So you could tell they were in a group. good shit so they just went sorry boys we just don't do crawls and stuff and so this group this group left there's about five of them yeah and

then like 15 minutes later another crew comes in with fucking stupid hats and it's like surely you've texted and gone don't go to that next oh the same group same hats the stupid hats but clearly same group just like delayed So not a uniform silly hat. It's just a silly general hat thing. Well, because that's the thing also that stuck out about me to that sign the last time I saw it is that I would have assumed that the very concept of the pub crawl just didn't even exist any. You know what I mean?

Like I'll say to someone, oh, let's meet here at six for a drink. And you know it's like you probably end up going like maybe one or two other places if it turns into a big night. But the thing of like, boys, this is the plan for the night. We're going to 25 different bars. We used to do the Sydney Road from the first and last, which is sort of in Faulkner, all the way down to Bright Owl Rilies, which is Brunswick Road. Really? So 17 pubs. That's quite a distance.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking oath. Let's do it now, boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking oath. Let's do it now, boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So by the end of that, so we'd kick off at midday, and that would usually be messy by about 12.30. Sort of Coburg. And then by the time we got to Brunswick.

That's funny. If you do it by geography. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you can see Coburg, you've had enough. Yeah, by the time we got to Brunswick. By the time we got to what was then Bridie O'Reilly's, which was... That's right near the zoo, Royal Park. Yeah, an Irish pub, sort of park villa.

There was a fucking mess. Why are you heading towards the city? I would think you go... Away. You go away. Because then you get to that big park in Coburg where you can just go out to die. Tommy, that's where they end up, at a cemetery. Yeah, good point.

The biggest cemetery in Melbourne. No, because you want to be amongst it. Because you'd go back to the Retreat Hotel, which was in Sydney Road, and just hang out there. I picked up one night after that. Oh, nice. Oh, okay. That's why we're telling this story.

Yeah, that's the only reason. You do that big pub crawl, but you still have an after party. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, we'd kick on. How old were you at this time? Fuck, I reckon like we would have been probably like

33 34 that's way later than I thought yeah yeah absolutely that's comedy arrested development happening

right there yeah true and we used to go to the Coburg RSL which is along the way and they we were expecting us every year

they'd be like we're waiting for this crew to come in what hats were you wearing no hats no hats just um I sl No hats, no hats. Just slouch hats when we went to the RSL, obviously. So is this, wait, this is happening like the same time every year?

Yeah, yeah. I think it's like the third week in, I'm giving it away so you can all go on it, but the third week in January, third Saturday in Jan. Oh, awesome. Everyone goes. And mates still go. And I'm like, I'm fucking done.

Like I can't do this anymore. So I'd meet him down the end towards Brunswick Street and then be like, you guys are fucked. You get in for the last two. You've got to get in for the start, surely. He's halfway down the road. I created a different pub crawl a couple of times. I can't remember how many of you guys did one of them or both.

I think we did two of them. But I did a restaurant crawl down Victoria Street. Oh, yeah, I remember this. Did you come to that? I can't remember who came to that or not. I came to one two of them. But I did a restaurant crawl down Victoria Street. Oh, yeah, I remember this. Did you come to that? I can't remember who came to that or not. I came to one. Restaurant crawl. Down where?

Down Victoria Street. Oh, yeah, great. And so what it was is we'd go in and go, instead of going to pubs, there's not enough pubs down there, let's go to restaurants that have BYO. So there was a big bunch of us just dragging slabs in there. And you'd see this big bunch of people. And I didn't think it through in terms of like...

Classic great idea on paper. Yes. They would fucking hate you when you left after one entree. Well, that's it. Exactly, yeah. These cunts. There was 16 of them. Putting the bill between eight of us,

like two entrees, all right, everyone owes $2.30. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, that's exactly... And we brought our own grog. Corkage more than the fucking food. Yeah. We thought this would be great for these guys.

It was like, this is the fucking worst. Like there was one bloke having a fucking fried ice cream that gave more money to the venue than what we did yeah yeah this is why i didn't come no no it was still fun it was not as uh lucrative for them the one i came on it was like i think we maybe got to the third pub and by that point people are getting a bit drunk everyone's just had like one dumpling at each place and been like, guys, I'm sorry, I'm ordering a fucking main here. I'm starting, because it's also been like three hours by this point.

It's like, I need to eat my fucking dinner. There's a thing on the Bumble app where it's like, you know, you can put down your hobbies or whatever. And there's one that they say, people go, I enjoy cafe hopping.

It's like, no one fucking cafe hops. It's like, you don't just, you're not seven coffees deep. Just go, fucking hell, I'm going to go to St. Vincent's. I'm going to fuck to cafe. I was like, you don't just, you're not seven coffees deep. Just go, fucking hell, I'm going to go to St. Vincent's.

I'm going to fuck to you. Ten avocados on toast. Like how fucking rich are you? Every cafe down Sydney Road. By the time I get to the cemetery, I am fucking jacked. Full of gozleme. Yeah.

Loaded up. Well, speaking of the pub crawl, I'm about to do what could be termed as an international pub crawl. So we are recording this just in time for me. I'm leaving for Bangkok in two days. It is a, look, it can't be called a pub crawl. It can be called a boys trip, I guess.

Yep. Or a business trip for my accountant. It's been so long since you had a holiday, Carl. I know. I'm glad you've earned it. I'm long since you had a holiday, Carl. I know. I'm glad you've earned it. I'm going to work. Tell me I might have changed. I'm going to work.

By the way, just before, another fun fact about the old episode, we openly say, don't say her name's name. Don't tell anyone to go back and... That is a fun fact. It's not as fun, I don't think. I think it's fun facts. You were talking about my wedding and I give you shit for not proposing to Don't Say Her Name.

Oh, wow. And everyone sort of laughs in like, oh, this is a new thing. Well, I've got a fun fact for you. I'm going to be asked to edit this out after we record. No, no, no. I'm coming around to how fun this is now. So have you spent much time in bangers? Have I?

Yes. I haven't. I haven't before. Cock-o. I haven't before. No, I don't know it very well. So this is the... Just stopovers for like a night or two?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't... To me, it's a little bit like going to Melbourne and walking down Bourke Street and going, oh, that's cool, I guess. I don't really know where else to go or whatever yeah so that so this is the idea so this all started i'll give you very try and brief history of what's happened here in about january or february there was a sale coming out on jetstar 240 return to to bangkok and i saw that and i was at work i was writing a show and and uh brett blake was on facebook i sent it to him i went imagine doing this like like

these are in November. 240 return Bangkok. How insane is this? And he gets back to me half an hour later and goes, cool, got it. Where should we stay? And I'm like, oh, I... No, mine was like an imagined.

Not like, oh, I've got this. Now you get it. So then I was like, fuck. And so I'm literally on the set of Spicks and Specks in a rehearsal and I'm supposed to be answering questions about Tom Jones and instead I'm fucking booking in this Jetstar flight. What's that pussycat?

Delilah it was. Okay, sorry. Yeah. So I'm sitting there going, fuck, who's going to be more mad at me if I don't do this? Like, what should I go with? Brett Blake mad at me or my wife mad at me? I'm like, ah, fuck.

Blakey will never shut up about it. My wife wife will get over it she expects this bullshit of me so i get that then uh then we sort of go this is when uh cap was going through chemo we go right let's get one for him let's get a flight for him and then i slowly started talking to mates and stuff and they're all like fuck let's all get on this all of a sudden there becomes 10 people going this trip. Yeah. And then it's been, so that's January, February or something like that. So it's then been all that time me really drip feeding information to my wife. What are you having singers around the house? Well, she became fully aware of the plan about a week ago now.

So that's when she's become... Need to know-know basis. Exactly. What was the first bit of info that you dropped to her in, I assume, February? I think it was like... Hey, the country of Thailand exists. Yeah. That's all you need to know.

Just the Chandler household globe just sort of subtly rotated onto the country. Putting the heating up to 34 and steamy. Fuck, it's balmy in here. It's like Bangkok. No, well, not only that, because... Hangover 2

chucked on the TV all the time. Offering massages all the time. Well, because I booked it in January and February, we already went

on a holiday in between to Thailand, in between that, in June. So, like, I'm there in June with my wife

and she's going, oh, well, soak it up, you won't be back here for a while. I'm I'm there in June with my wife and she's going oh well soak it up you won't be back here for a while I'm like I think you're actually wrong there but anyway

we'll talk about that later real test of the acting ability yeah no absolutely no who knows when I'll be coming back I can't wait four months

I mean five years or whatever you think I wish I was coming back in November the 4th so it just he did a game of charades Five years or whatever you think. I wish I was coming back in November. How did you approach it? He did a game of charades and he just started punching his own dick.

What is this? It's a city. It's a city. Smush balls? What? Yeah, look, it was a real great job. That's in Latvia, isn't it? What? That's in Latvia, isn't it?

Smush balls. That's where I'm doing a geek. It was a long... Look, there was different little twists and turns where the idea was maybe do a live podcast there, then it turned into, oh, you know, we're doing it for Kappa because, you know, it's giving you a bit of light

at the end of the tunnel and all that sort of stuff. And then... So then it turned into a mix of that, plus... He never had cancer, did he? No. You played a big game shave your fucking head not wait for your flights he's been suffering from

Chandler's alibi the whole time stage 4 alibi my friend died of Chandler's alibi what a mate honestly the public like shaving their head

accepting donations from fans also a mate can have taken a nut yeah taken a nut Honestly, the public shaving their head, accepting donations from fans. Also, a mate can have... Taken a nut. Yeah. Taken a nut. Capper, I need this trip, mate. Carl's wife's going to be at immigration checking the nut.

We'll get you another nut at the markets in Thailand. We go through x-ray just to see if he's got two nuts, not to see anything else. If only you were going to smoosh balls. He could have got another one. Yeah, yeah. Getting a bootleg nut at a market. So then it was hinging on, in the last couple of weeks, it was hinging on the fact that because,

and we've talked about this briefly before, I talked to a venue comedy club operator over there about- So the comedy thing is legit. Well, see, this is what happened. So I talked to him briefly early on about going, hey, what if we came and did a podcast there? And then he just could not get his head around it. And then because he's a stand-up sort of a guy,

he didn't really understand. Well, to be fair, I was talking about, oh, all these people are going to fly in from overseas for the podcast. And he's like, why would anyone do that? I'm like, I don't know either, but they do do it. And so then it turned into, okay, that's not happening. So we'll do a stand-up show instead. And he's like, cool. anyone do that? I'm like, I don't know either, but they do do it. And so then it turned into, okay, that's not happening. So we'll do a stand-up show instead. And he's like, cool.

So everyone's going to fly in? I'm like, absolutely not. No one's fucking flying in for our stand-up. People aren't going from Fitzroy to the city for our stand-up. Is this the place you played recently? No. No, I've never done stand-up in Bangkok. Oh, okay, right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then, anyway, so how's this? So then the guy, so what the whole trip is hinging on is like, let's do it for Kappa, and oh, we've actually got some business. They're hiring for this big stand-up show in Bangkok. And so my wife's sort of going,

so when's this, I haven't seen any stuff on social media about this gig yet. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I'm sure they're like selling tickets and whatever it is. And I'm hitting up the guy going social media about this gig yet and I'm like yeah I'm sure they're like selling tickets and you know whatever it is and I'm hitting up the guy going when's this on sale

she's so invested in the marketing for this gig I haven't really seen it like why would you how many of Carl's gigs do you see the marketing yeah well she's

she follows the pages sure sure so when is this what exactly is happening because what's the details of it because i haven't seen or heard any details of any of this stuff that you're going overseas for yep oh no no they've got their stuff together you know and anyway the guy hits me up and goes

uh this is one week till the gig he hits me up and i talk to the guy he hits me up and goes oh i've got a proof for the poster i'm like a proof one week out so yeah i go just fucking get the gig on sale i need evidence i'm going overseas for a fucking proper reason oh you know there's no big rush there is fucking rush i go so he goes well just use the use the proof and i go well the fucking date's wrong on it for starters so fuck your pedantic yeah what do you give a fuck you just need the poster to put on

the socials post the proof who cares well at this stage it's like I'm like oh it's proof alright

at this stage I'm like well how's this gig possibly going to go ahead because there's no one's going to come to it

the guy's going to abandon the gig no one's going to buy tickets for it he's going to just cancel it and all of a sudden because then

Kappa pulled out because he wasn't insured because of a bit of stuff that's in out because he wasn't insured because of like you know a bit of stuff that's in you won't be able

to claim your $250 tickets no no no the um no I actually got insurance for it so I was like yeah sweet

now I'm in at the ATO oh yeah yeah yeah but he's um so all of a sudden he's pulled out so then it was like oh we're doing it for Kappa well Kappa's not going

oh no we're doing it for this gig well this gig's not happening I'm like no, we're doing it for this gig. Well, this gig's not happening. I'm like, fuck, man. I need this. I need this to fucking happen. It's all crumbling. So is the gig not happening?

Well, it's officially on sale as of a week out, which I'm like, let's see if anyone's fucking buying tickets a week out. Maybe Bangkok's like Adelaide. You know, maybe they do just all book at the last minute and it makes no difference when it goes on sale. If it's in an expat area, like, do you know what suburb it's in? Like, what area? It's in sort of the city, I think.

The city's massive, mate. You can't just say sort of the city. Well, like, sort of the city. It's in Asia. Yeah, okay. Oh, okay. There's a few expats out there. It's in the Orient.

Yeah. I really think it's the sort of thing where it's like no Bangkok local is hitting the comedy club planning their week around it. I think it's tourists that are just like, it doesn't matter how far on sale it is. It's like, oh, we're in town, googling what's on. Cool, we'll go to this comedy show. Look, I don't think there are tourists in Bangkok

googling what's on in comedy this week in Bangkok. Melbourne's the city you go to and go, oh, let's look up the comedy scene. Bangkok, I don't think you're looking up comedy as much in Bangkok. Because it's in a hotel, isn't it? Isn't it like at the base of a hotel? I think it's above a pub. Right.

Yeah. There you go. They got posters up. Oh, with the wrong date. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they didn't have it on sale fucking three days ago. Are you getting ticketing updates? No.

I'm too scared to ask. Yeah. And who's on? Just you and Blakey? Me and Blakey and then I believe like they're like yeah you boys can do

45 minutes each. I'm like we're not doing either of that to a audience with English as a second language. No thank you.

What's it cost as in Australian dollars? Interesting question. It costs Thank you. 400 baht. No. 1200 baht. 500 or... Thank you. 400 baht. No.

1,200 baht. Five or 600 baht. So it's like 20 bucks or so. Okay. That's all right. Yeah, no, that's not bad. That's a good price to see, Brett. Have you met this promoter?

No. So I'm getting vibes like Carl is getting the everything is Rick thing done back to him. They've gone, yeah, you can do 45 minutes. Oh, yeah, yeah. Has the pub actually closed down? Yeah, maybe. What I'm excited about is it's like billed as Aussie stand-up comedy night

and then on the poster it says like, it's like you two prominently on the poster, your names and everything and credits. And then it's like, and prominently on the poster, your names and everything and credits, and then it's like... And support local comedians. Yes. Which if they're saying it's Aussie stand-up night, is this just going to be like dogshit Aussie expats,

you know what I mean, that have relocated there, that just dabble, you know what I mean? Like they do a gig like once a month? Or are they just going to have to like throw that to the wind and go like, yeah, here's... Yeah, or is it Thai locals doing it to the Thai crowd? They'll probably dominate and then you two come out. This is the bit I'm most interested in hearing about

is the support line-up. No, you're right. They'll come up and go, oh, you know, Sukhumvit have a road. And they're like, yes. And they'll come up and go, what about Officeworks? Yeah, I can't wait to hear what the Bangkok equivalent of the Harold Holt pool is Oh yes

That'll be fun That'll be exciting Yeah I can't believe they named it After him It is crazy That's where he went missing Yeah

In the water In the pool In the pool That would be a cooler story They named it after Where they found it Yeah I don't understand

Why don't they build The whole pool Out of the black box It's true A black box pool Would be indestructible. So at the moment, it's all hinging on the stand-up gig. But in the meantime, so that's what I've had to tell my wife and all that.

But then it's in the meantime, more people got added along. So it became Blakey and then Malarm wanted to come. Really? Yeah. And then I've got a couple of Marabar couple of Marabar mates wanted to come so then they

and then they're bringing their mates who I've never fucking met before so it turned into 10 people there you go that's 10 tickets and then get a load of Vinnie Chase

over here yeah so then I don't know what that means from entourage oh okay I still don't get it my friend

grow up I can't remember I can't remember I can't remember what you't remember I can't remember what you say on the pod and what you say off the pod it's hard to remember what's can and what's not

but I I'm friends with the guys from the avalanches I don't know if I've ever mentioned that and so one of them is coming as well but the great thing about that

is he's literally only coming because he met Milan a couple of times and went you guys you guys are going to Bangkok and he's like

I want to fucking see what that cunt does in Bangkok so now he's coming just to see what Milan does the other shit thing too though is when you're doing comedy overseas and it's not like a

you know a proper gig or whatever you're just doing a spot I reckon it fucks your day like you can't especially yours because it's a joke thing but you still want to be

half sober for it I know so you're just wasting a day you have one beer yeah yeah great idea leading into it then that day And especially yours because it's a joke thing, but you still want to be half sober for it. I know. So you're just wasting a day. You have one beer. Yeah, yeah, great idea leading into it. Then that day you're like, oh, I'll have one beer in the afternoon and then that'll do me for a while. I've sent three different messages to the producer guy going,

if this isn't selling, please cancel it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and also – Because you want to have fun. Keep the poster up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of places too, it's like, oh, what was it like doing stand-up there? And it's like, well, it's all like expats and like it's all English-speaking people.

So it's just like doing a gig at a backpacker's here. You know what I mean? It's like you can't even go like, oh, I've checked off doing comedy in China. It's like, yeah, I wasn't a million miles away from doing it here. Yeah, we did it in New York and you have to adjust so much and slow down and you're like, how was it? It was fine. I didn't destroy it because you just go

they didn't understand. Because you forget what references are ours. I tried doing the footy show. Jeez. Yeah, they didn't get any of my Melbourne Storm stuff in New York. Fucked. I lost all their points. I lost all their points.

Who's the Chinese Fatty Vorton So this is what I'm trying to juggle At the moment as well So because it's become Such a big amount of people Including people I don't know People from all walks of life

Have these guys bought tickets To the big stand up show On Friday night Man these cunts Haven't bought Fucking hotel accommodation yet. Okay. What do you think the odds are of all of this crew,

extended crew coming to the gig? Are they all on notice that it's like, fellas, come on. We've got to go support our boy. We've got to go to the gig. That's the thing because it's like – Yeah, you're dragging them out of a bar at 7.30 in Bangkok. Yeah, but what would you rather? Would you rather them come along or would you rather them stay away?

I mean, you'd want them to stay away, but they want to come to watch what's about to happen. Right. What time does it kick off? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I checked the poster, but fucking that time is probably wrong.

Yeah. 27 o'clock? Yeah. I don't know. But I don't... Yeah, I'm juggling whether it's good to have them there

or not good like because I think it's one of those things at the moment I think they're a bit like why the fuck would we go there we've got all of Bangkok

to play with and then when it gets there it's like oh this would be funny to see these cunts bomb in Thailand that's why they'll be there that's why I'd go

the mates you want there because it's like funny no matter what happens but the mates of the extended crew who you don't know, I'd be like, ah, tell them to not worry about it. Yeah, that's going to be like doing a gig on a cruise ship and you bomb and you're stuck on the boat.

You'll be stuck on the holiday with these people. Because this is early in the trip. This is like one of the first, like you get there Thursday and then this is Friday night. So like, yeah, early on you will have spent basically no time with these people. This is going to be their first impression of you eating shit for 45 minutes. No, but we've got a brief little window on the Thursday night. We get there at 8.30 at night and then obviously we'll go out and do something.

So we'll have to make fast friends. You find her in the day. Oh, it's Jetstar. Yeah. Oh, fuck. That's grim. Oh, fucking hell. Not even a night's accommodation paid for in that.

It'll be all right. It'll be good. Get some Valium. Jet's doing well at the moment. Yeah. Get some Valium into you. No, you know what the great thing is, is that this is one other thing we'll have to tackle,

is that so Milan is a Platinum Club member. So he gets to bring in one person. Yeah. So then my mate Tony, he's at Corners Club. I don't think Platinum. So he's bringing in one of the guys. So then, because of that, I find it sort of funny. We haven't broken it to him yet.

So we're going out to the airport very early to soak up about five hours of Corners Club before we have to get on. So even if there's delays of Jetstar, who fucking cares? Let's stay in there. What time do you flight though like nine in the morning 2.30 in the Arbor

yeah oh okay pretty good yeah yeah so we get out there at 10 o'clock yeah fuck

yeah bar opens at 11 yes so that'll be good but the thing is so there's four of us accounted for which leaves Blakey hanging out with all

the other people that he's never met before in the Hungry Jack's food court so oh god you are never going to look this down that poor motherfucker out with all the other people that he's never met before in the Hungry Jacks food court. You are never going to look this down. That poor motherfucker. You know how if you're on a work trip, your food and drink count as per diems, you can claim them on tax.

Does that start at the airport? Yes, yes, it would. Oh, there we go. Just get on the bus. Yeah, travel day. 100% it would, yeah. So I'm dealing with, we've got the group chat going and it's just fighting. See the people going off their head or people not checking in and not giving a fuck and

still, and like someone popped up this morning to go, so going overseas these days, what do you do? Do they have the passports still? Yeah. You know what you can do though these days is a lot of places, it won't be Qantas or whatever, but you can buy yourself into a lounge. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Heaps of places do that. I did that in Bangalore. Bangalore's coming back last time from Thailand. Right. So they can get themselves in somewhere if they want to pay, you know, $50 and then just load up. Right. Yeah.

Okay. But also if they see Blakey coming in four hours before his flight, they'll be like, I don't think we can do that. We don't do that. Sorry. I can't imagine Qantas do it. Probably some of the other ones do. That seems like a weird move for Qantas to just let anyone in.

Great man, Chris Franklin, who didn't get on because he's still at the exit. Hang on, I just realised, am I his replacement? Oh, that fucking hurts. He once told me a hack. It took me a while. Hey, we learnt. We booked this for 3pm instead. Yeah, yeah, cool, cool.

He told me a hack that if you get a flight and you can get into the lounge, you can get in two hours before your flight and two hours after you land. Yes. So you would go and drink for two hours,

then fly and then go into the lounge and drink for another two hours. Yeah. It's a strange move. Alcoholics. He does that and then for an hour and. It's a strange move. Alcoholics. He does that and then for an hour and a half a pair of thongs just goes around the luggage carousel.

Yeah, I've thought of doing that before, like just after I got lounge access because he's so excited. It's like, wow, this is changing what it's like to fly. And when I read that, it's like, yeah, you can just hang out after you land. And if I've been landing around dinner time, I'm like, maybe I'll go in. Yeah, a bit of a novelty hang out after you land and like if I've been landing around dinner time I'm like maybe I'll go in

yeah because you know a bit of a novelty and then you land and you're like fuck that yeah I'm going because also yeah you've got your

fucking luggage to go and get and it's like you know what would be better than that being at home yeah the lounge is good

but you know what's better my actual bed yeah you do it when you've got kids because then it's like you know toilet breaks and stuff yeah sure sure sure, sure.

Yeah, yeah. We all hate our kids. That's what we've learned from Danny just now. Going to Bangkok for a week. It's work. I'll tell you what I told Don't Say Her Name. It's work. But you talked about dying on a cruise ship.

So I did a cruise. It was for the Rugby World Cup in about 2010-ish or something. We went to New Zealand from Sydney. It was the fucking worst. 2011, that would have been. Was it? Yep. And it was full of South African farmers and they fucking hated me.

Oh, really? And I didn't think... Because you were in blackface. Yeah. No, they wouldn't. Is this because you did Melbourne Storm Gear and that's rugby league, not rugby union? And so I'm just... This one guy started having a crack at me and there was hardly anyone in the fucking

room and it was just shit and it was just full of blokes. And this guy started having a go and I was fucking with him and all these Zimbabweans were like loving it and fucking ripping into him as well. And then I completely forgot you're on that boat with him for the next three days.

Yes. How'd that go? Oh, fuck. Grim. Like real grim. So are they getting aggressive with you at the buffet? A lot of room service from then on. Yeah, I was avoiding places just because the guy was not happy

because I really fucking ripped into him. I can't even handle being in the same fucking bar as some people after a gig. Totally. In that half-hour window. Who else was on this cruise? No, just me. So you can't even be surrounded by... No, just me.

They made me do a kids' show and I'm like, what the fuck, I don't have kids. So I just did my be surrounded by... No, just me. They made me do a kid's show. And I'm like, what the fuck? I don't have kids. So I just did my own material with no swearing in it. Wait, it's just you doing a kid's show? Yeah. The SS Rosie. Yeah, for like 40 minutes.

And then I just did my normal set. So I'm doing stuff about seeing my parents having sex and all this kind of stuff. I had nothing else. I fucking had nothing else. It is relatable. Kids on a cruise ship With their parents

Yeah That happened They were the You know Creation of that Only four years ago Yeah exactly Oh it was fucking grim mate

It was grim That is such a funny Stand up comic In Bozzle Wheel It's like Oh it's a kid show It's like Oh yeah

Just take the F's and C's out Yeah yeah Good to go So I'm doing my tax The other day Yeah yeah I mean I should have Looked up kids jokes

On the fucking internet Hey little kids Here's War and Peace. There's no F-bombs in there. That's for you. Get stuck in. It may as well be Bear in the Big Blue House. So I'm in the group chat. We're trying to manage what's going on.

It's fucking chaos in there because, like I said, big mix of people who could not give a fuck, people who are in there just to say, shut up, cunt, every couple of days. And then I've got... Every group chat needs one of you. Yeah, and it's inevitably Carl. Who's he kidding?

Someone. Oh, yeah, someone. These guys making a mockery of the group chat. No, not with something so close to my heart. Yeah, true. You've got to treat this more seriously, please. Yeah, this is my work, guys. Stop making fun. What've got to treat this more seriously, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is my work, guys. Stop making fun.

What are you being paid for this gig, by the way? This is my career, by the way. Are you getting a split of the door? That's a very interesting question. How do you split 500 baht? Yeah. That's the thing, guys. How do you split a rooster?

Leaving my wife and child at home is the most important thing in my life. So it's so... Because I was like, I was thinking, it's payment enough. It's Thailand. You go over there, you get a $2 curry, you know,

how much is comedy going to cost? If, you know, a nice pad thai is like, you know, $2. Good point. It's 20 bucks.

It's 20 bucks to get in. So then it's like, okay. So the guy hits me up the other day and goes, I don't think we've talked money. And I'm like, I'm positive we haven't talked money.

Yep. And he goes, oh, what do you reckon about, yeah, is $200 money and I'm like I'm positive we haven't talked money and he goes oh what do you reckon about yeah is $200 okay I'm like oh it seems a little bit not that much

for each person and he said oh no it's not for each person it's for combined and so then I'm like hang on so if

100 bucks for 45 minutes it's 20 bucks to get in if 80 people go in there it's $1600 and the entire entertainment budget is $200.

Fucking hell. I do like, though, that you said 80. Come on, mate. He's not covering that budget. It's coming out of his pocket. Good point. I'm in the hole. I'm $80 in the hole.

Wishful thinking. Yeah, well, yeah. I shouldn't be angry about that if that happens, I guess. I don't know. in the hole yeah it's wishful thinking yeah yeah well yeah yeah I shouldn't be I shouldn't be angry about that if that happens I guess I don't know of course not

you need this to be you need the poster you need the gig to be on yeah yeah yeah so he must yeah he's got a he's got a vibe of my backstory like he's just got me

against the wall absolutely 100% I'm amazed you're getting that much yeah are you gonna film it you gotta film that oh mate oh yeah film film it? you've got to film that oh mate

film your special you'll be on 10 pitch coming up after Ice Road Truckers it's Carl Chandler banged up abroad wow the guy shouldn't have been filming this He should have been sitting in the audience There's only four people there

Oh man I might look into Getting a film crew down there So we can Cut you a special Can you have a comedy special Where you're doing it via selfie Can you just

Yeah totally Yeah yeah I might need to be the cameraman there So So there's now Is Tony getting on You should get Tony to open up for you guys That'd bring some people in.

He can DJ for us. Avalanche's DJ set before the comedy. So I've got the one guy that's really active in there. There's one guy who's great, heaps of fun, but he's very full on. We've got a really full on guy. We've met Milan. No, no, no. More full on.

Way more full on than him. Because Milan's just like, I want the party to happen. I don't give a fuck how it happens but it's happening right this guy's trying to plan every inch of the trip and everyone else is like we don't fucking care

there's a pool we're going to go that there'll be a beer somewhere and this guy's trying to plan everything so it's entertaining slash aggravating but he's

guys what are you all wearing to the stand-up comedy show where are we going for dinner before the stand-up comedy show yeah yeah it's all this

so he's at various stages the plan was a limo to the airport. Tight. Yeah. Love it. To a Jetstar flight. Yeah, no, I love it. Then a limo from the Jetstar flight into Bangkok. Yeah, both good.

Then he demanded a limo from Bangkok to, we're going to a beach town for one day. So that's a three-hour trip down a shitty highway in this limo. And he's like, no, we're doing that. That's locked in. I'm like, it's fucking not locked in.-hour trip down a shitty highway in this limo and he's like, nah, we're doing that. That's locked in. I'm like, it's fucking not locked in. Why do we need a limo for this?

He's like, no, no, no, it's locked in. It'll be like 50 bucks. Like that classic sort of thing of like third world country. Yeah, they'll be happy to get my fucking $2.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. These cunts. It's like, I googled it in two seconds. I'm like, it's $1,200 each way. We're not getting a fucking, we're not getting a limo

to a beach town fucking three hours away. That's like six flights.. We're not getting a fucking... Fucking hell. We're not getting a limo to a beach town. That's like six flights. Yeah. How expensive is a fucking wedding over there? Yeah. Well, man. You'd have to do 12 stand-up spots to pay for that. You're saying to your wife,

hey, I've got to go on this business trip. I'm driving some limos around to the beach. Yeah, yeah. Don't forget you can claim that, though. Can you claim it? That's all part of the transport while you're over there. Okay, all right. I've made $100 and I have $5,000 in costs. I always think that when I'm doing my taxes.

If they question me, they're just going to go, your business modelling is fucked. Why do you say yes to these things? So expensive to do. Stop running at a loss. You're bad at this. Go work at Maccas. What are you, Uber?

Get a new career. I've heard all this before from audience members. The next plan he was, he's just booked in a yacht trip. What the fuck are we going on a yacht for? Man, this guy gets it. This sounds awesome. How many days are you there for? Five days.

So you've got a limo, beach day, yacht day, comedy day. Comedy day. He puts two left. You can only have one beer that day. He puts a yacht in there and it's like, he sends a link in and then he's so full on, I get a phone call two minutes later going, what the fuck? You haven't responded yet.

And I'm like, responded to what? He's like, the yacht. Get into the fucking yacht. No one's responded to the yacht in two minutes. So he's ringing me to yell at me for it. And I'm like, man, just fucking relax. I don't know. Like, it's not like you think of Bangkok and go, oh, well, we better get on a yacht.

Otherwise, we haven't lived the true Bangkok experience. Where are you getting the yacht to and from? I don't know. Like, is there any famous waterway? I don't really know. I mean, there's a big river, but it's not yachty. Yeah. I'm not thinking below deck when I'm looking at that river.

No, no. It's not like Mediterranean, like, because you go to the beach, which is. There's no famous, you know know Bangkok to Phuket yacht race is there no no it's not a yachty country

it isn't if there can be such a thing as a yachty country I would have said maybe Monte Carlo maybe or something like that but not that's what makes it cool

it's off the grid you're not doing just the like tried and true like tourist like that you know that big

that sky bar or whatever so he's booked he's booked it for like three hours or something from two till five and then it's like, hey, it's not just a yacht, guys. Guess what? We've got karaoke on it as well.

Good. Oh, cool. So we're doing karaoke at 3 p.m. on a yacht in Bangkok. Great. The perfect Thailand experience. That sounds awesome. It sounds fun. I'm into this.

It's so fun. You're doing all the Faith No More hits. I'd be there for that. I love when you're like, what a waste of Bangkok. Now everyone get your tickets to my stand-up show. Now that's a Thailand experience. You've got to see Bretty's new bit about fucking Korean barbecue. So then this guy's just, I don't know, he just wants to burn money.

It's just like all these things. It's like this is the idea. Then he's know, he just wants to burn money. It's just like all these things. It's like, this is the idea. Then he's like, he's trying to sign us up for, we're getting on the back of a motorbike and then driving an hour and a half to a floating market. I'm like, none of us are fucking doing any of this. What are you talking about? All this expensive stuff.

And then I go, so you're staying in the same hotel as us, right? Yeah, yeah, with blah, blah. I'm like, what do you mean with blah, blah? Like, we're all staying there. He's like, no, no, with this other guy. Like, yeah, we Blah Blah. I'm like, what do you mean with Blah Blah? Like, we're all staying there. He's like, no, no, with this other guy. I'm like, yeah, we're all staying there. No, no, we're sharing a room. What the fuck are you buying three limos for in a yacht

when you're going to be bunking up with another 45-year-old man in a hotel room? So he can afford the yacht. Is that where you put your money? Is that your priority of money? Wouldn't you rather have your own fucking hotel room than be on a yacht for three hours? Yes. That's insane. And I know this guy's on big-

Does the room have karaoke? Well. This guy's on good money. He's on like on 200K a year or something. A friend of mine- Oh, seriously? He's sharing a room. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say.

My friend who I just went to Singapore with, same thing. He's very like, likes all the finer things, has a really good job. Like, the place that I was staying wasn't cheap. And I was like, hey, if you want to stay in the same spot, it's here. And he's like, turns his nose up at it, goes and stays at the Hilton, like, gets the, like, most expensive joint he can. But Singapore's expensive. Yeah, Singapore's already expensive.

And then he's going, like, higher above that, turns his nose up at where I am. And then he was going on to Bangkok to meet up with his brother and he's like, yeah, anyway, me and my brother are sharing a room together in Bangkok. What the fuck's the matter with you? You're knocking where I'm going and he's like,

yeah, I flew here on scoot. Like, what? Yeah, don't do that. These are legit grey-haired men that are like in fucking bunk beds. Sharing a bed. Yeah. Sharing these tiny little hotel rooms.

Are they maybe together romantically no no no a bunch of them have done it so you won't be having that Michelin hatted

pad tie that's like 50 bucks have you heard about that old lady that does that with the goggles no I've looked up

all the Michelin star noodles she has a Netflix special she wears ski goggles to stop the fat splattering back at her

and she's got this like Street kind of Corner restaurant I went there But the line up Is like an hour to get To sit down And the pad thais

Are like 50 bucks Yeah right 50 bucks Yeah yeah Which in Thailand Is like And then I went next door And there was this place

That's two and a half Comedy specials Yeah yeah And I went next door And just watched people Just sort of wait And go in there And I had like

You know That Thai basil thing for like $2. Yeah. Beer and stuff. It was the fucking best. But all these people swarmed there just to see this old woman. And you're not allowed to take photos of her and stuff. Oh, really?

Fuck you, you old mole. Yeah. Fucking took photos of her. Yeah. Knocked her goggles off. Fuck you. For 50 bucks, you want a selfie, don't you? Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Get burnt in the eyes by the fat. That'll teach you. And she's the only one who does the cooking, which is why it takes forever. She's like fucking 300 years old. So you get to wait for it as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool.

Yeah. So head there. No, no. Well, yeah, no. No, I don't think so. We've got too much to do. True. We might chuck another yacht in the mix.

We might miss the yacht. We might be flat out. We might be able to do a helicopter race or something. Yeah. So I'm just intrigued. We might be flat out. We might have to do a helicopter race or something. Yeah. So I'm just intrigued as to what will actually happen. The vibe of this trip is all like, for a boys' trip, I think that's like what people, the appeal of the boys' trip is that generally,

especially when you go when you're young, everyone's kind of on the same page. Everyone's budgets are at the same sort of level. The itinerary is just like, we just want to get maggot from sunup until sundown. You know, especially like if you go and you're in a relationship, like couples, what they want to do on holidays

is very different. But this is like, this is a boys' trip that has no, there's no overseer. There's no cohesive vision to what we want out of the trip. Yeah, that's a good point. There's no brand values. Yeah, it's like everyone's got their own.

It's like, yeah, this is fucking, this is unwieldy. Yeah, a i've got a vision of this guy that's like trying to get us on yachts and limos and stuff like that it's just going to be like lord of the flies and we're just going to fucking chuck him in the whatever river a yacht goes into and just do our own thing but what will happen is you'll end up at the bar attached to the hotel yeah yeah the bar across the road from that yeah it'll be the classic australian tourism experience where we're just drinking in the hotel. Yeah, yeah. Or the bar across the road from that. Yeah, it'll be the classic Australian tourism experience where we're just drinking in the hotel.

Yeah. You know what I'm predicting? A lot of faffing. A lot of faffing around. Yeah, trying to organise when you're leaving, how we're getting there, hurting cuts.

Yeah, it's not like, you know, group text like, oh, let's all meet down in the lobby in like 15 minutes and then one person's dragging their heels. Nine is so many. Like, it's almost like okay we don't need to have all nine of us go to places because i reckon nine people are not getting into some

places as well that's true yeah there's always one who like gets up really early and then by the time you get up it's like oh let's go get breakfast i've already had breakfast okay well i've breakfast oh he's still asleep but that's good because sometimes there is that one person who insists it's like no we all have to be doing the same. You need a very clear thing of like, hey, if two of us are just going to fuck off and do our own thing, that's fine. We'll have dinner together. We'll meet later. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Take your time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, except for at the comedy gig. That's a non-negotiable. We all have to be at the Bangkok Comedy Club for the Aussie stand-up spectacular. I hope there's yacht parking. Yeah. There's heaps of good bars, though.

Like, in Bangor's is awesome. Oh, please give me any tips. Yeah, I will. Yeah. Not now, but I won't list them all here. Yeah, there's some fucking great places. And because they... You don't want word to get out.

Everyone will start going to Bangkok. True, true. You'll spoil it. But they appreciate that it's fucking boiling, so there's heaps of rooftop bars and stuff everywhere because it's just skyscraper central. We've got a rooftop bar on our hotel and a pool. Yeah, great.

And I really hope... Now, this is another thing that's hinging on my judgment, and I really hope that this works out. I feel for the people who've rocked up to that hotel and there's nine blokes on a fucking trip together at the pool. That has never happened in Southeast Asia. And it's supposed to be like a posh bar at the top of it and it's going to be us throwing changs at each other,

I think. So, yeah. Now, I really hope that this is the case. I found this hotel and I went, what do you reckon, everyone? This is a pretty decent price for a really nice hotel, pretty cheap. And everyone's like

yeah whatever and then none of them booked in until about i don't know five days ago or whatever but then by then i'd looked at it and gone hang on this seems really weird it's like a conjoined hotel there's another hotel attached to it but it shares all the same facilities but it's a different hotel attached to it yeah but it's much cheaper you you in Sukhumvit yes yeah okay so then I've said to the others hey I think this hotel's attached

to the other one so you can just book in there and it's heaps cheaper and they've all gone

okay let's do that and then I've double checked and gone I'm not positive of that now

it's alright they're all in the same room so it's fine so I think maybe they might be in just a different

hotel now instead what made you think it was attached it just when I looked up the page the webcam wasn't specific Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think maybe they might be in just a different hotel now instead. What made you think it was attached? It just... When I looked at the page... The webcam wasn't specific.

It had some of the same exact pictures on their website. I'm like, is this the same? They're just general travel photos. I don't know. I really hope not. I hope I've told them the right thing. But anyway, they've gotten much smaller rooms than the other rooms. And now they're sharing.

They're fucking bunking up in there. Oh, my God. That's my fucking worst nightmare. Man. Sharing a room at this point in life. Yeah, exactly. Way too fucking old for that. Yuck.

Yes. And especially that when, like, clearly everyone's going to go out and get drunk at night. Yeah. And then get in a hot city, then get home and then fucking breathe each other's fumes all night in the morning. Yuck. Yeah. Yeah. No, you need your privacy yeah now that fumes are involved yeah exactly i'm ready i'm pumped up yeah well looking forward to hearing how this gig goes get down if you're in uh if

you're in yeah it's the uh it's the look i don't know how many comedy clubs there are in Bangkok, but it's the one on this Friday night. It's Brett Blake and it's Carl Chandler, supported by who fucking knows. Yep. I don't know whether I'd rather it be bad Aussie... You've got to try and film the locals for us. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you've definitely got to... Someone's got to film it. It's got to be seen. It's going to be that... You might even get someone doing an impression of other comics, like someone doing a Dame Edna or someone doing... I've seen... I got a bit obsessed with this British comedian called Ken Dodd

from the 70s who's borderline racist, homophobic, everything. But if you try and find footage of him online, there's more footage of people impersonating him and playing like RSLs over there as a Ken Dodd tribute act. Yeah great. And so you might get

some of that. Well isn't it I mean I don't know this that well but I get the get the impression that in Asia there's a lot more comedy based on race so they're just

flat out with it so you might I might be getting some people doing the eyes doing the eyes like doing nice times too yeah that'd be exciting yeah yeah well and then and then we go on and then hopefully don't get affected by that and go oh well when in rome let's crack into this stuff i'll see that definitely happening drinking all day too yeah i can see you getting swept up. Don't film that bit. Yeah, just for a little Asian Asia only, that one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, we'd better wrap it up there for another week on the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Danny McGinley, Adam Rosenbach, thank you very much for joining us. Cheers. Danny, you've got your podcast. Oh, yeah, but it's too niche. Danny Boyd, it's about the Western Bulldogs. I do it with Tom Boyd.

Check out my YouTube. I don't know, just follow me on socials, please. Danny McGinley. Nice. Looking forward to know. Just follow me on socials, please. At Danny McGinley. Nice. Looking forward to 10 years from now and the highlights of this episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rosie.

It means we'll all still be friends. Got the Junk Time AFL podcast if you're into your footy. And that's about fucking it. Cool. Check that out. Follow Rosie on the socials. Are you doing the festivals next year, Rosie? Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

Be nice. Come see us. Book your tickets now, too. Rosie? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, me too. Come see us. Book your tickets now too. It hasn't even been confirmed yet. Yeah, exactly. Sounds good. Thanks, guys. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time.

See you next. Thanks. And they've done it again. Oh, boy. Bernie's kicked one straight over the... All right, now I'm going to find out what that Bangkok River is. Oh, yeah. What it is.

Straight over... He's taken the Sharon over into international waters with him. Yeah. And he's headed down. He's gotten the limo down there. The Chao Phraya River. There we go. Straight over it, onto the banks on the other side.

Straight over the top of the yacht where I'm in there singing I Am Woman. Yep. Yep. And straight over the other side into Bangkok 7-Eleven. Yeah. There we go. They have them over there. Let's say that. They have them fucking there. Yeah. Let's say that.

They have them fucking everywhere. The major landmark of Bangkok that came to mind first. That's it. That's it. Yes. That is as we're recording straight after that episode you just listened to. So we're hanging out as we kick those two cunts out to take care of business. Yep.

I'm off in two days. We've already recorded next week's one. So you won't hear What happened next week Because we already Recorded that The other day Yep And also

You won't be back yet I won't be quite back yet Yep Yes Banking them up That's it Bangkoking them up Yep

Yep But another long session For us Had lunch just before So I'm not too hungry Although you know what It's getting late enough Oh We're starting

to roll into fucking dinner time aren't we no i don't think i need dinner today really yeah eight two eight some ate some not great stuff today okay i've been pretty good last couple days because i've been a little bit sick and today's my appetite has returned and so i ate bad food taught me through it large double cheeseburger meal. Yep. McDonald's, Bridge Road. Yep. Then I looked at the time, went, I've got a bit of time to kill. Drove across into Swan Street, went to KFC, got myself a mini secondary.

How was this within, like, what? This is back to back. You're already in the car. You drove to the Bridge Road Maccas and then, okay, same car trip. Yes. Oh, multiple chains. Yes. Same car trip. Yes. Oh, multiple chains. Yes. Same car trip.

Yes. Jesus Christ. And got myself a little tiny little... What are they called? Not sliders, but like little... Little chicken wrap sort of thing. Yeah, okay. Mini one. Yep.

Mini one. Yep. And a small chips. Okay. And then... Oh, I knew there was a third part. Yeah. And then I... Not the knew there was a third part. Yeah. Not the greatest thing of all time, but then I got myself.

Something I'm not a proponent of usually. Okay. There's a new fancy donut shop in Bridge Road that I keep walking past and I never get anything. You know, the donuts are the thing, and I've said this before on this show, most overrated snack of all time, I reckon. But the thing about them is that they present really well. Yeah. You can gussy up a donut really well.

You can understand why it makes sense as a business proposition, especially in the age of Instagram. You know, you have your fucking hundred different ones that all have like different colours of shit on them. It looks great. They look good. Yeah. I do.

I mean, not that I ever have one, but I do have a fond memory of hitting like a you know like a wendy's in a shopping center and just having like a classic little cinnamon donut especially if you're getting it fresh out of the vat yeah yeah yeah yeah so but not something i'd ever think you know i've yeah i never had the impulse of fuck i'm fanging for a donut no no i fucked it i really did say to really did say to myself, I'm going to eat really well until I go to Bangkok. And then I'm just going to go fucking hog wild. Yep.

But I did blow up today. But look, I went to the gym. I went for a run. Yep. I earned it. I'm starting in tomorrow. I'm like, you know, it's like AA. Yep.

It's another day tomorrow. Yep. Let's start tomorrow. Get rid of the chip. Yep. Get back tomorrow. Yep. I had a cheeseburger for lunch.

I hardly ever have burgers anymore. Oh, really? I went down to the Builder's Arms. Very seafood-heavy menu. I thought, no, not for me. Generally, I don't go for a cheeseburger, but I thought it's one of the only things on here that's not seafood in some way. And it was good.

Very classic burger. Very classic pub burger. Onion? No onion. Pickle. Cheese. Tomato? No onion. Pickle. Cheese. Tomato sauce. Yeah.

Yeah, it was good. I look into it. Cheeseburger, you say? Yeah. Okay. See if they've got them over in Bangkok. Okay. I'll see because, you know, it does hit that point when you go overseas,

when you get into all the local food and there's that point where you go, I wouldn't mind something, a little palate cleanser. What about a triple cheeseburger? Yeah, first couple of days of like the, yeah, like rice dishes and like satay skewers and all that kind of stuff. Like this happened to me in Singapore. It was like day three or four, I just get this, I'm like, I fucking am fanging for like a pasta.

Like just something that's just like dense and textural in a way that the food you've been eating isn't right just really really craving it bad brett blake said to me the other day he goes uh man i still can't get it out of my head the best hungry jacks i've ever had was in kosamui yeah right yeah interesting which i'd never it's hungry jacks over there it's not oh sorry burger king yeah okay right but i'd prided myself on never having one of those fast food places. Out of all the times I've been to Thailand, I've never done it. Yeah.

But the last time we did go to Koh Samui, I went for Khao Chella, some people call it. The night of Khao Chella, actually. Yep. Of Dungeon Kong 22. Where we had it, I didn't – I love the bar bar but i've been at the back of the bar before yeah so now i don't like ordering food there yeah yeah yeah yeah uh pretty dodgy up the back and so i went you know what i'll work out food later and then of course it just turns into a massive drinking session yep and we just drink the rest of the night and then i'm just off my

fucking head and needing something to eat and then I'm just off my fucking head and needing something to eat. And then you go, oh, well, everything's still open, isn't it? It's like, not really. No, it's not. So then, yeah, Burger King, the only thing open. So I had to do it.

Man, I mean, I used to feel that way, but I do think that there is something to be said for like McDonald's in any new country you go to. Get in there early. It's the baseline of McDonald's in any new country you go to. Get in there early. It's the baseline of food. You know what it all tastes like. That's the barometer of how food is tasting in the country.

You know what I mean? Maybe. You try their local. They're all doing something slightly different. They've all got like a local kind of specialty on the menu. Yeah. You try the McFuckin' Haggis or whatever yeah but i don't i see the way i i think i used to do that early on but now it's more like if you're on a trip every meal is an event every meal is

like yeah right i want you know i don't want to i don't want to fuck up here and waste a meal i've got i've almost like gone right what have i got 20 meals until i'm gone yep don't fucking waste it don't eat something out of a 7-eleven well drinking and then getting it late at night is like that's perfect that's a gimme i feel like yeah if you're just like getting it on the walk home last thing before you get into the hotel well that's that's the thing it's like i had no other resort yeah it's literally the only thing i could do yeah and now i can't even remember i wish i wish i remembered it so i knew if i could compare it to you know i could say like brett blake man this was an amazing maybe you could uh use one of your meals no i can't on this

trip i can't do it i can't do it there's no way pre-yacht no need to need to um absolutely maximize i'm genuinely gutted if i have to waste a meal on something silly like that but the problem is is that you can waste a meal anyway you know just like, you suss out what you think is a good place and then you go and you're like, man, this sucks. You know what I mean? That's heartbreaking. But at least I tried. And you have that moment where you're like,

genuinely this would have been better if I had just had a McDonald's. You know, if you've been like, you're like, I could do that. You know what, I'll get the local place and then it's bad and it just like, it haunts me. No, well, I think it's better to try and fail than never try. Better to have loved and lost. Yes. Yep.

Better to have loved a Penang curry and lost shit out of my ass all night than to have never loved that Penang at all. Well, speaking of love and speaking of shit pouring out of an asshole, patreon.com slash littledumbdumbclub. Subscribe to the show. Support the show. Get yourself two bonus mini episodes every week mondays and fridays i just got my daily text from one of the people

going on the trip saying giving me the update of how many days to go yep yep so it's two days to go cool yeah nice nice got the text it's just exciting yeah uh you can get on there get two bonus episodes every week uh and also go into the Stuart Hall of Fame. Is that it? Yeah. Oh, yes, of course. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sorry. A bit of foreshadowing there. Yes, yes. You'll know what we're talking about next week. Yes, let's do that. Let's open it up. Straight away, let's do it. Thank you very much to first cap off the rank this week.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber diana star okay yeah perth's very own she's from perth how you know diana don't you yeah tommy yeah she how would you describe her she is she runs perth's Laugh Resort I think she runs a gig in Perth yeah and I think this was this was a point last year where we put out a Patreon

episode bonus episode that you can still get that you can still get where we called it the history of Perth comedy and we got on there and just bitched about

Perth comedy and Perth comedians sort of. And then all of a sudden there's a bit of a spike in the subscription in Patreon subscription coming from Western Australia. There's a bit of a three hour delay on these Patreon

subscriptions. Yeah. A bunch of people in the comedy community absolutely signed up this person being one of them. But she did not sub off she didn't sub off and she also I believe was already a listener

before this so this was just the funnily enough the tipping point was like industry gossip in a very like micro way

around the corner from her was the thing that made her go you know what it's not so much liking these guys and their comedy it's hearing them gossip about people that live down the street from me but we also have a list of the comedians who did sign up just to get that episode just to potentially hear their names read out

the sort of psychopathic behavior that happens over in perth every day perth comedy yep yep yep i think it's i mean i don't know i feel like it's kind of it feels like it's cooled off recently I mean, I don't know. I feel like it's kind of, it feels like it's cooled off recently. Well, you know, there's been a bit of everyone sort of waking up from a waking dream and calming down a little bit in the last six months. Well, hey, the panty brought out, it really did bring out the worst in everyone. And you just kind of find out like what level of bad behavior people are capable of. And I feel like Perth it was like oh okay yeah well they had their yeah it was that is that funny thing we you know for people that don't understand i guess people in melbourne locked

down the most out of everyone people in perth not locked down at all except for not being able to get out of the state yeah but in that way they had a prison it was just a really fucking big one whereas we had quite a small one. Oh, man. I mean, I've talked about this before, but my girlfriend's mum has been in town for the last week and a half. And it'll be all of us, like my girlfriend's sister and partner, husband, hanging out with her. And, you know, inevitably, you're in Melbourne. It's like stuff always kind of, you know, in some way comes up about lockdown,

you know, because it's like, oh, we're doing this a year and a half ago. No, that was when the lockdown was, you know, something will come up about it in passing. And my girlfriend's mum always very quick to be like, oh, yeah, you know. Oh, yeah, I get what it was like because over in Perth, you know, when we had our lockdown, it's just like can't help herself. And we're all just like, don't you dare. Well, you know, like I said, you know, we had a much smaller one.

We had cabin fever. They had fucking, I don't know, resort fever or something, you know. Yep, yep, yep. They had plenty of fucking room to play with, but technically you weren't allowed outside of that vast track of land that you were living in. Well, she was just saying before, people were furious there last year because they were having like some – you could still –

venues were open. You could go to people's houses. I think churches weren't open, she was saying, but then they had the AFL Grand Final over there. So people were like, oh, so the fucking footy can be on but the churches can't be open. It's like, yeah, I mean, I find it – I'm sorry, but I find it really hard to care about that as an issue.

Also, you could say that now and not win over us or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Like, who cares? Yeah. Like, yeah, I don't know. Obviously, I'm not that way inclined, but church is not being open sort of funny. It's like, that's literally a thing you can do in your own house, isn't it?

Whatever you're going to do in there. Yeah, the sermon very easily. God's not in in there like yeah you're not missing out on i mean i think that's the i don't know but sermon way more easily transferable over zoom than almost any other activity you're going and doing yeah because you're not really you're sitting there you're just listening you're and sure it's the community aspect of it but like yeah it yeah, it's hard to feel. But the big guy's everywhere. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, he's not in that place. Why did he let this happen then? Yeah, that's a good point.

That's a good point. How can God be real if fucking COVID-19 exists? How can God be real if he let Perth comedy happen? There is no fucking... That's a great heckle if you're at a show and someone's bombing and you yell out, there is no God yeah yeah that is man i've said it before but i would love i'd love to just sit down and work out some really good heckles and just just just go on tour somewhere yep just just really see if i can dominate a show without being thrown out.

Yeah. You can try it on Friday night. Oh, yeah. You pull out. We bikey. Yeah, you get Brett up there. You say you'll go on last. Yeah.

Meanwhile, while Brett's on, you pull out. And then you're in the crowd just tackling him. Well, see, that's what I was going to say before, actually, when we're talking about the value of those three people that I don't know. I mean, to be honest, they're probably quite valuable because they don't know me at that point. Whereas, you know, the worst hecklers of all are people that know you. Because when you put them down or when you, you know, address them. Yep.

When you address normal people, they tend to shut up because they're like a bit embarrassed or whatever. Mates are like, we'll bounce back. Mates are like, nah, nah, nah. You can't, you've got nothing on me. Yeah. You can't defeat've got nothing on me Yeah You can't defeat me I don't care

You're not the boss of me Yeah to strangers like Oh you've got some power Being up there on stage With your fancy Electricity and microphone Mates are like Mate I've probably seen your dick

I don't give a fuck What you're saying to me Yeah yeah yeah Yeah So That's better Than having my actual friends there Yeah

Well thanks Diana Thanks Diana Um Yeah if you run any gigs in Bangkok Let me know So that's better than having my actual friends there. Yeah. Well, thanks, Diana. Thanks, Diana. Yeah, if you run any gigs in Bangkok, let me know. Pretty close. Yeah, yes. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Shea Wilcox. Okay. Yeah.

Shea as in the Chicago Stadium. S-H-E-A. Yep. Wilcox. W-I-L-C-E-A. Yep. Will Cox. W-I-L-C-O-X. Hmm. Yeah. All right.

Will you? Will Cox? Will Cox. I like the name Shay. Will Cox will travel. Yeah. You like Shay? Yeah.

Boy or girl, isn't it? Both, right? I don't, I've not got no idea. I know a boy, Shay. I've never heard of his name. idea. I know a boy, Shay. I've never heard of his name. Yeah. I know a male, Shay. Imagine if it was him. Imagine.

Do you know his name? Do you know his last name? I'm looking this person up. We're both two people Googling. Yeah. I'm doing a quick survey. Here we go. What do you got? I've got... What's that Googling. Yeah. I'm doing a quick survey. Here we go. What do you got?

What's that? Female, male, female, female, female, female, female. All right. It's a female. Yeah, this is the guy I know. What do you mean? I know this guy. Oh, okay.

What's this guy's story? He's a friend of my guy. Oh, okay. What's this guy's story? He's a friend of my girlfriend. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, did you know that he listened to this show? Nah. Really? Yep.

That's weird. Yeah, it is strange. He's never brought it up? Nah. Wow. Yeah. A secret listener. Not only secret listener. Yeah. Secret. Employer. Secret. Giver of money? No. Wow. Yeah. A secret listener. Not only secret listener.

Yeah. Secret. Employer. Giver of money of me. Yeah. To me. Okay. Yeah, that's bizarre.

That is funny. Well, can you text him? Have you got his number? I don't. Message him and say to him, thanks for listening. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're really, maybe, look, maybe this is, this would be funny if this is the reason

he started subscribing. He runs a, he runs a medical clinic that I started going to. Right. Like we, we've got our vaxxers there. Right. And then I was around the time looking for a new GP anyway. So I was like, you know, I'm just going to start going here. So now that it's like, you know, I'm putting money, you know, I'm putting money into his business. Right. He's like family's business. So he's like,'s like you know i'm putting money you know i'm putting money into his business

right he's like family's business and so he's like yeah you know what you can have some of it you can have a little bit back into the old patreon and you might could have some as well yeah it's bizarre oh that's good well yeah shout out to shay solely responsible for me uh getting the vax well Well, solely responsible. So you didn't want to get it at all? It was just this guy talking you into it? It literally was him messaging us being like, hey, people have booked in and they haven't turned up

and this stuff just goes in the bin otherwise. If you guys can get here in like 10 minutes, you can have it now. It was awesome. What if I make this my aim of the bangkok trip i try and convert one of these three people i've never met to become a patreon subscriber yeah yeah yeah i just only really setting a low bar there not all three i don't think my personality is interesting enough to get all three on board that's that's pretty strong yeah three yeah not only listen but to sign up to pay for it.

Yeah. It's a very funny, not only like, do I like you enough to be like, oh man, let's, you know, let's catch up for a beer sometime in Melbourne. It's now like, I'm going to become a paid up fan of yours. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's good. I need you to listen to me every week and stump up cash, even though there is absolutely no need for it. I'm now going to become sort of your boss. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. All right. up cash even though there is absolutely no need for it i'm now going to become sort of your boss yeah yeah yep all right that's yeah that's really thrown me that that because i i like i heard the surname and i was like i'm pretty sure that's shay's surname but that that can't be the case but here we are yeah that's it's gonna be what are you gonna say to him next time you you go there what's the what's the i'm trying to to say to him next time you go there? What's the, are you going to give him the- I'm trying to think when's the next time I'll see him.

I'm going to a wedding that he'll be at in like two weeks or so. So that'll probably be the next time I see him. Oh, beautiful. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah, just sidling up on the dance floor. Yeah. Hey, man.

What'd you think of last week's show? Just sliding him 10 bucks, please. You can have this back. Yeah. Don't worry about it. I feel bad. Just you going up going, hey, What did you think of the last picture? Just sliding him $10, please. You can have this back. Don't worry about it. I feel bad. Just you going up going, hey, so what did you think of Kappa when he was getting in the hall of fame? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Him being like, what? What the fuck are you talking about? Oh, yeah, I am still subscribed to that. Just watch him get his phone out, get on the Patreon app and delete the payment. get on the patreon app and delete the payment damn um his his wife is the person who uh actually no i won't say that i don't want to i don't want to give out too much personal information oh i'll tell you off air okay i don't know if it's cool to just like the friend of mine who worked alongside Bill Gibson at one point. Oh.

Remember that? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, God. What happened to her? Gibbo. What did we call it?

Talking Gibbo. Talking Gibbo. Not much to talk about. Yeah. Nothing's happened. Gone dark. I was re-watching the clip of where she's on like 60 Minutes. Yeah.

And they're like, so how old are you? She's like, well, I've always identified as being 26. One of the great quotes. Yeah. That's just an all-timer. Yeah. Yeah. Psychopath.

Pretty funny. An awesome person. Yeah. Well, thanks, Shay. Thanks, Shay. I'll see you in a couple of weeks. I'll see you in Bangkok. Yeah.

This could be one of the people going maybe who knows yeah well you presumably would you're in a group chat with them

oh yeah I didn't I don't know their names okay thank you very much to Patreon subscriber alright so what's the ruling here

sometimes people don't want their names read out, but the cool thing about that is they always, when they sign up, they'll send us a message going, don't read my name out, please. And then that goes nowhere. There's no way of that being attached to any information anywhere. I don't really know.

I can't really track that. Yep. But some people do this and just change their name to a joke name. Yep. So what's the ruling on that? Do we bother reading that out or do we not bother reading that out? What's your call? Well...

Because I guess that's their way of hearing a bit of recognition without actually having their name out there. Sure, yeah. What do you think? Maybe you could read the joke name out and we try and speculate on what we think their real name might be. Okay. Or we just skip over it.

Okay. I mean, it also depends on how good of a joke name is it. Well, I guess we're about to find out. Okay. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Spurt Gusher. Yeah, I'm glad we read this out. It's pretty good. Spurt Gusher.

Well, hey, look, maybe I've overreached. Maybe this isn't a joke name. Maybe this is a real name. Who knows? Could be. Could this be a pseudonym of Burt Crusher? Oh! Speaking of people that we know supporting the Patreon.

Oh, okay. Oh, that's the gag, isn't it? Burt, yeah. Is that the gag? What do you mean? Well, is that sort of like playing on that or is this just a i mean maybe maybe it sounds this is a bad magazine parody of you know for some reason he's stuck in my head when we had him on the show and he calls himself the machine

yes and when you uploaded the post you were like burt Kreischer, the animal. Yes. I don't know why that stuck in my head. It's like totally can see like why your head went there. Yeah. But it's like in a lot of, but then in a different way, it's so off base. It's just like the animal. Like whatever. You get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You get it. There's a lot that's great about it because it's also like this guy who, you know, he's very successful. He's got a big following. And it's like this guy just comes into his house, the animal. You know on happy days, the frog? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the fonz. Yeah, you know.

Bert Kreischer, the cunt. Oh, sorry, man. I do remember some listeners straight away hitting me up and me going, yep, yeah, yeah, drop the ball there. But again, you know, he's someone that you know a lot more than me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, this sounds about right. Good guy, though.

I love that dude. Very generous man with his time. Yeah, I'd love to see that dude again. Yeah, very, very, very generous. And we saw him in Australia and he was very nice. Yeah, we had a great time with him at that Opera House bar. The dream, what you want in a comic. I mean, you know.

Just straight up, come to my house. Okay, and then us going to the other side of LA in this Uber for what felt like an hour and a half. And then us doing an hour episode and him going, oh, is that all? I'm used to doing three hour ones. Like, oh, you were fine with two cunts you've never met coming to your house for three hours? Yeah, whatever. Yeah, we should have gotten him to stick around for talking dum-dum and some bonuses. Should have brought Capra along and got another couple of eps for this week when I go to Bangkok

instead of banking a bunch. But yeah, if that is him, that's a hell of a... That's a smooth alias. If that is him... Spurt gusher. If that is really him, I feel a little bit bad that he hasn't subscribed for that much,

to be honest. Yeah, and also it's very funny if someone who's also a performer in the public eye to be like, please, no. I simply couldn't handle any attention being on me.

Yes. I don't want to be on the podcast for a second time you know me i will give you the money you know me the animal i'm a real shrinking violet yeah uh i'm an animal but i'm a chameleon and i'm blending in now i don't want to be seen the animal rob schneider himself yeah uh rob uh what's his what's his nickname? Who? Burt Crusher The Machine The Machine Right Why is he The Machine?

I don't know It's really the opposite isn't it? Machine It's man versus nature Yeah Machine versus animal That's where your brain went You're like

Now it's one or the other Yeah The absolute Maybe There's a little part of me Just that didn't like him. I'm going to give you the exact opposite nickname than you have. And you'll get really mad.

But instead, nothing happened at all. No. Except for a couple of nerds went, you got it wrong. I went, my bad. A few Rick and Morty shirts firing up at the keyboard. Yeah, yeah. Well, thanks, Spurt. Thanks, Spurt.

Yeah. Good shit. Yeah. I mean, that's about all we're going to get out of that name. Yeah. It sounds like here's some anecdotes about a guy that's been on the show once who we met. Yeah. Yeah, what else do you want?

All right. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber John Brennan. Okay. All right. Yeah, you agree? I Patreon subscriber John Brennan. Okay. All right. Yeah, you agree? I'm just mulling it over. I'm watching a show at the moment where there's a guy in it called Brennan as a first name. Yuck.

You don't like it? Brennan. Brennan as a first name. Yeah, Brennan. It's just one of those names where it's like your head is always going to go to, I'm sorry, but you've spelled Brendan wrong. You know? If you just know enough Brendans and then you say Brennan, it's just one of those names where it's like your head is always going to go to I'm sorry but you've spelled Brendan wrong you know if you just know enough

Brendans and then you say Brendan it's like this name is wrong there's something wrong with this name yeah

yeah fuck because I mean that's the thing like you can make calls with fashion with hairstyles

with you know furniture and you can get a year or two away and you go look it felt right at the time but i gotta put my hand up and go ah well you know i did fuck it yeah yeah yeah yeah imagine doing that with a kid oh absolutely getting two years on going yeah i fucking balls that yeah the nightmare yeah yep sorry about that yep yeah well because people don't want to you know obviously people don't want to give a kid a name that's similar to someone

that they know and have a negative affiliation with. But what if you name the kid and then within the first like six months of their life, then you like, you know, you meet someone out in the street and they like fucking bash you or whatever. And you find out that their name happens to be the same name as your kid and then you have to be like,

well, you know what? They're only six months. Is it too late? I don't want to look at my son and be remembered of the time I got fucking coward punched in the street every time.

That must have happened. There's like negative association after the birth where you go, I'm sorry, I just, I can't do it. How late is too late?

Do you reckon, like, if I said to my child right now, your name's not Blanket anymore. Yep. It's something else. Thank God. I imagine her response would be. Yeah. It'd be an interesting conversation. How do you think it would go?

What do you think her response would be? She's conscious of her name yes absolutely right yeah um i think she would i don't think she'd completely get it but i think it would be a thing where i'm not sitting down going listen yep here's the theory behind this one i think it's just a thing of going yeah anyway i'm just calling you this from now on well because kids a lot of their life is like you just saying hey this just happens this just happens now for this reason yeah we're going here why we just are so for you to just go hey we call you this now yeah and then be like why well we just are yeah or you'd invent it you know you'd invent oh there's a magical you know you'd invent a reason And probably it wouldn't be until later in life that they'd be like, I have this weird memory where I was like being called Blanket for the first like three years of my life.

Yeah. And then all of a sudden I had the different name of Prince. Was that his other kid? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, look, she's got a, surely she can handle the logic of what she's doing to me. I mean, I get the name Poo Face almost all day every day.

Yep, yep. So if she gets to rename me, surely she can understand that it can happen back the other way. Yeah, exactly. You've got to show her there's consequences to her actions. Yeah. Yeah. Well, try it on. Go home and just Start calling her Brennan

And see what she has to say She's Yeah Well she kind of already Has had that experience right Wasn't she after the like Show In Hobart

That she was at Wasn't she like She's still talking Why was daddy calling me blanket She's still talking about it Yeah So she has had that experience already Yeah

We're hypothesising And going what if? Yeah. I was doing a bit of social media the other day and she was looking at pictures of our last live show. Yep. The Australian Comedy Hall of Fame. And she was looking at the pictures on stage and just reciting what had happened in Hobart. Oh, really?

Yeah. Just going, you called me blanket said no more easter eggs and i mean that is incredibly scarring for a young child i don't i've yeah yeah i'm not surprised that that's just lodged in there forever oh it's absolutely locked in yeah what was it there's three points is you called me blanket you said no easter eggs and something else yeah yeah at the show yeah at the show yeah so every every picture of me on stage is just reminder of reminder of that horrific incident that's the one time daddy's ever been on stage yeah in her head and will ever be yeah and and she just got absolutely roasted yeah yeah. So that's what she's...

You've got to bring her along to another show. Oh, man. What if she happens... She thinks that's just the show every time now. Yeah. Yeah. She's demanding. Where's the Easter egg gear?

Yeah. Why is this... Why isn't it all about me? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thanks, Brennan. Thanks, Brennan John.

John Brennan. Okay, one more, and then I'm going to Bangkok. Thank you very much to... Oh, God. Another one of these. All right. Well, that's the ruling in the previous one.

So I guess we're doing these fake names or whatever it is. Okay. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber, Come Squirting Comedy. Come Squirting Comedy. Yeah. Yeah, right. Again, maybe this is their name. I don't know.

Is this another friend of yours? Well, maybe it's another comedian that we've had on the show before. Oh. Using a pseudonym. Right, right. Maybe this is... John Squirting Comedy. Oh, right, right.

Yeah, that's... And remember that time I called him The Comer instead of The Squirter? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very embarrassing. That was embarrassing. You know, it's messaging you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's things that Very embarrassing. That was embarrassing. You know, it's messaging you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's things that happened previously.

Before. Well, guys, thanks very much for listening. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub. Get on there. Support the show. Get your two bonus eps. Thanks very much for listening and we will see you next time.

See you, mates.