The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 635 - Dave O'Neil & Sami Shah

Episode Date: December 6, 2022

This week we're joined by DAVE O'NEIL and SAMI SHAH! Karl's come across one of the greatest names of all time on the door at his comedy gig which stops us all in our tracks. Dave's been heckled at a gig, Sami's had a terrifying experience travelling around performing at the libraries of WA and Tommy's travelled interstate to try and meet one of his favourite bands. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Dave O'Neill and Sammy Shah. If you want to see this kind of magic live and in person, well, guess what? If you're in Melbourne, you can. We've got a month of live shows coming up April next year. Tickets are on sale now at littledumbdumbclub.com. Massive. Part of the Comedy Festival. We are on every Saturday and most most Saturdays

in April April 1st 8th 15th 22nd tickets are on sale right now including for a very very very limited time

you can get a season pass so you can see all four shows for only 80 bucks instead of 100 bucks so get in there bellissimo very limited numbers first in

first served it'll only be on sale for a week or less until they run out so uh more details at the end of the show and talking dum-dum yes but until then enjoy this new episode with dave o'neill and sammy shaw hey mates welcome once again into the little dum-dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us.

My name is Tommy Dassler. And with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. And joining us today, two great guests. Please welcome into the program, Sammy Shah and Dave O'Neill. Hey, hey. Hey, poofs. Yeah. I forgot about that.

Good to have program followed up with hey, poofs. We're both ABC refugees, aren't we, Sammy? That's right. You get work there, don't you? No, no, no, no. Not on TV a bit, but not radio. Oh, okay, I'm sorry. Not radio, not a gig.

Only take one. Not give us a call, 1-300-222-774-774, Texas, 043-777-4774. We're going to talk about possums today. You can see, I heard of the other day, they did a whole hour on foxes. I'm like, Danelle from Broadmeadows. Hi, Danelle.

What do you want to do with possums? Oh, they're fucking great. Danelle. Is Danelle a boy or a girl's name? It's usually a 102-year-old woman who's also doing the fox trot for some reason. Every week, there's an old lady talking about how she's doing some dance at a local bowls club. And then everyone goes, that's the most magical story I've ever heard.

Potholes are big. Potholes on the road. Litter. Great. Well, let's open strong and talk about boring things. Exactly. great well let's open strong and talk about boring things so exactly exactly uh speaking of names i so i do the door at my little club basement comedy club and so i've got the names i've got to tick everyone off when people come in and they i'll just go surname please i had the best surname

i've ever had oh here we go this hyphenated surname okay hyphenated surname where i got the name and then we just there was a line behind them, but we just had to sit there and break it down there for like a minute or two. You and the person whose name this was. Yes, because. Breaking down their name. Yes, because they were with someone and then the other person had to sort of explain it. Was it rude or like cocksure or something like that?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not rude at all. Just inexplicable. Well, more this, it's hyphenated because this is a married name. So someone's had this part of this name hooked up with this person and then gone. I'm going to add that name. I have to add that name to this. Fuck. Surely there's someone else out there I can meet.

This is this person, this lady's surname. Okay. College Frisbee. Oh, fantastic. College-Frisbee. Okay. College Frisbee. Oh, fantastic. College-Frisbee. Okay. That's a fucking event, not a name.

Yeah. So her name was College, and then she married a Frisbee? Yes. That's awesome. Isn't that insane? That's bizarre. Frisbees were invented at college in America. Yeah. An American invention.

Yeah. If I was in your position, there's nothing this person could say to me to convince me that that's their real name. Yeah. American invention. Yeah. If I was in your position, there's nothing this person could say to me to convince me that that's their real name. Yeah. I just wouldn't

even ID I'd be like they're easy to fake. Yeah. Well, the only reason I was convinced is because she'd clearly and look, that's the thing when people

come in with odd names and whatever you got to bite your tongue and go, they've heard everything. Yeah. Yeah.

They've heard everything. Yeah. Oh, except for, you know, one time there was a person who came in, there was a family of three called Hattrick. That was their last name. I go, oh, Hattrick, it's the three of you. They've heard everything. Except for, you know, one time there was a person who came in. There was a family of three called Hattrick. That was their last name.

I go, oh, Hattrick, it's the three of you. And they go, oh, yeah, you're right. I never thought of that before. I'm like, how have you never heard this one? Never heard that one? How have you never heard that? Well, you know, I was on the plane once and they were delayed because they said they were waiting for, like, George Adams,

Paul Adams and Phil Adams. And I went, oh, we're waiting for the Adams family, are we? So how did this person take to their name being broken down in such a fashion? Well, it was more like it wasn't even me riffing on it because you're overwhelmed. Yeah. It's just me holding up a line of people, customers going, is your name really College Frisbee? And they're going, yes. Was the husband there?

Was Frisbee there? No, no, no. Just the excited friend who was then going, yeah, check it out. Her name was College and she married a Frisbee. I don't blame the friend. That friend only hangs out with her for that moment. So she's still excited about it all, whereas College Frisbee herself has been like,

yeah, I've had this. I mean, we're just doing the Patreon read in the guts of the show, basically. But is the thinking that if I just take the name Frisbee, that's stupid. You know what? Just being called Mrs. Frisbee sounds dumb. So at least if I put something else on it,

that's like a buffer Also she's walked through Life with the last name College as well Which is already weird Like you would have copped Like a fair bit of that already That's how they bonded though

Like he was like My life was hell My name was Frisbee She's like Oh my god Mine was weird too On college I want jokes

Do you get People say You're going to try To get into college People say No you look dumb You look more Like a tafe Are you in a tafe family Well I guess I mean Living in this country I want jokes that you get. People say you're going to try to get into college. People say, no, you look dumb. You look more like a TAFE.

Are you in a TAFE family? Well, I guess, I mean, living in this country, you can kind of, you know, it's not, because it's a different thing here, right? Right. Like, it's a much, college is like a much bigger institution in the States. In America. Yeah. So, in the States, it's like the actual school, whereas here, it's like the living on campus,

isn't it? Yeah, yeah. A college is like a, so I guess here, you can I guess here you can fly under the radar a little bit. Yes. I guess. It's not as bad as being called university. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your last name was university.

But Frisbee got fucked either way. Frisbee had the worst childhood. In the States, there's someone called university hyphen beer pong. They've got the Australian one and the very American one. Tape hacky sack. That's the more low rent version. Adult learning totem tennis. So then are you bumping the MC for the gig

and then going, I've got some crowd work locked and loaded for the start of the show? Honestly, there was a bit of that. Whoever was MCing, I was like, hey, just so you know, there's someone in the crowd called College Frisbee and they were like okay that's like the shit

like HR like HR department tells you at a corporate gig we're like oh by the way so and so's name is this but you got so excited you ended up doing that as well

yeah College Frisbee I can't imagine I mean even just like the psychology behind hyphenating the name I don't get it yes

it's like it's fine to not want to take you you part your husband's name i can i can get down with that but just being like yeah i'm gonna have two surnames yeah insane and and you know there's a there's a good argument to be made that college frisbee is worse than just frisbee like no absolutely yeah there's a lot more questions to be asked i reckon then or it's what that thing right but like they gave you the name and you got so overwhelmed with jokes yeah you couldn't make any of them yeah yeah and that's the power of college frisbee yeah this is just college frisbee frisbee i'd have something on right frisbee i'm like yeah i can't move i'm paralyzed and there's and there's like 30 people

behind him going we need to get into the gig the gig gig's running late. I'm like, no, no, no. I'm trying to fucking compute this. It's a strategic move on their part. You're right. It's almost like someone coming in with the surname. It's like Mr. Cum just coming into the gig. You would just be like, I'm sorry, but I've got nothing. I don't know where to even begin.

You get a free pass. Whereas like Mr. Titmouse, you'd be like, oh, yeah. Well, hat trick. Straight away. Boom. I got that one. Hat trick. Yeah. So, man, I mean, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, hat trick. Straight away. Boom. I got that one. Hat trick. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So, man, I mean, you can't dox this person, but I'm dying to know what the first name is. Because I think that's really going to change the layout of life. Shit. Perhaps why they wouldn't want to just like... It would have to be Monday. Frisbee.

It would have to be something really dull. It didn't jump out. Yeah, see? Compared to the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't Tuesday or anything unusual. Sunday. Well, let's say like...

Sunday College Frisbee. Let's say like Francine College Sunday. Well, let's say like... College Frisbee. Let's say like Francine College. I can understand not wanting to be Francine Frisbee. You know what I mean? Yeah. I keep the college in there as like a bit of a buffer. Was it maybe something like that where it's like straight up Frisbee is going to sound stupid after my first name?

Yeah. Look, I have no idea. I'm so... Yeah. Yeah. The surname really took the cake for me. I didn't concentrate on the rest of it Well, you know what you've got to do

This is the gig that you run It's all pre-booked You know, people have bought a ticket You've got her email Oh, yes You've got to send her the link to this She's got any kids I've got to book her in when I'm emceeing one of them

Oh, sure, sure No, you've got to send her this She'd be, you know I think she'd be interested to know She's been riffed about on a podcast. Is she old enough to have children, you reckon, college frisbee? Didn't look like it. No.

But one day, maybe. Little college frisbees. Little coasters. A couple of little coasters running around. Indy coaster, yeah, that's right. A couple of little coits popping out. Yeah, what would you do, Dave? You're the king A couple of little quoits popping out. Yeah, yeah. What would you do, Dave?

You're the king of crowd work, getting up there, asking people what school they went to, et cetera. Yeah, well, college frisbee. Let's say you uncover college frisbee. What are you doing with that? What would you do with college frisbee? I would say, where's your brother, Hacky Sack? That doesn't make sense. Because your brother generally has a different surname.

I know, exactly. He has a different surname. Exactly. My car works a ways a bit. Where's your brother, Gary Collins Frisbee? Gotcha. Frisbee. What does it do as Frisbee?

Yeah, I don't know. Oh, you know what? See, it works. Even Dave is stumped. He's stumped. Yeah, so much is happening here. It is a weird invasion of privacy, but I do get the details of people who are coming along to the gig

and I've got their surnames and whatever but they also give you the address of the person oh yeah so then one day when I was in

you're like a one man optus you're just breaching yourself and just leaking people's information start asking people for a scan

of their driver's license to come to your gig to be honest I could text her right now and see what other story she's got I'm going to need a hundred points of ID honest I could text her right now and see what other story I'm going to need 100 points of ID

before I can let you into this $12 comedy show just hack the Medicare hack and let Carl's hack the destroyer stream and the hacky sack so what if you walk past someone's house

where you know a punter lives or something no no it gives you all the details of everything so I was at the gig and I was emceeing and I was like

what are we going to talk about tonight and then I look through and and I was like, what are we going to talk about tonight? And then I look through and go, I just know someone. There's someone here from Namibia, so I can just call them out. And then I found there was multiple people who lived in my apartment building. I'm like, all right, well, I guess I'm just going to talk to them. So I get up and start the show. Who lives in this building block in Hawthorne?

And they're like, me. I'm like, cool. And then we just talked about the dog that lives upstairs. That was Niche. Was this while you were on stage? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is my opening 15 minutes. We talked about the weird car that was downstairs in the car park.

Meanwhile, there's someone sitting next to them who lives at 69 Shoot Eater Street. They're just sweating blood. Oh, no. My wife told me not to put my dress in. College Frisbee is looking at her husband. We're next. We're next. Get ready for the hanky sack jokes.

Well, it's not a bad tip for young. I've done that at corporate gigs where I've got the seating plan and just read out names. I've gone, where's Johnny Sucks? It was like, that was a really funny name. It's Johnny Sucks.

Where are you? It was like a guy with a really funny name. It's Johnny Sucks. Where are you? It was like a farming conference and they were all white and there was one Indian guy and I went, and he was sitting down in the front and I went, where's Rajul Indira? Where's he? Where is he? That's good stuff.

I think that might be racist. Anyway. You were telling us off mic that you had a gig the other day was it a corporate in Tongala yeah oh you know

I've come across quite a few of your fans at nearly every corporate I do I did Julux the other day and just I was going to say it depends on the kind

of corporate you're doing yes yeah if I'm doing doctors and lawyers there's not a lot of dumb club fans I just did Jobs Victoria I don't think there are

any dumb club fans there I'll tell you I've had a few in a row I had two in a row no I had three in a row actually so Jewel Arts was just a distribution wing so all the

mainly men who worked distributing paint but also Yates and there was one guy sitting sort of down the front he was like a bald guy

with a beard but not a hipster like a Bogan beard and I go you look like you live on the fringes of the city but you own guns he's like yeah

and he came up to me afterwards and he goes what podcast do you reckon I'm a fan of very nice very well played by that man

I just looked at you and went dumb dumb he went yeah his surname was definitely Tafe Clay Shooting it's a cool time in history to be

aligning ourselves with the gun nuts out there. He looked like the other guy who, there was a guy there who ran the dynamic lifter factory. That was his job. He managed,

do you know what dynamic lifter is? It's fertilizer made of chicken shit. Oh yeah. What? Yeah, he ran the dynamic lifter factory. Wait, hang on. Why is it called dynamic lifter? It's like a gardening thing

you buy at Bunnings or something for your roses. So you're saying my dad used to get heaps of it. Yeah, dynamic lifter. It just absolutely fucking stinks out the front yard. It's like a gardening thing you buy at Bunnings or something for your roses. My dad used to get heaps of it. It just absolutely fucking stink out the front yard. I hated it. Affiliated with chicken shit

yet likes us. That's weird. I said you're chicken shit. That's what I said to him. Then I did... The Dynamic Lifter guy was a fan? I think he was trying to... No, the fan was trying to explain

to the Dynamic Lifter guy what a podcast was. Oh, okay. I was going to say my, the fan was trying to explain to the Dynamic Lifter guy what a podcast was. Oh, okay. I was going to say, my dad would be, as a lifelong supporter of the product, my dad would be rat to know the head honcho of Dynamic Lifter. He's quite proud of you.

That's the brand name, Dynamic Lifter. He's like, Tommy's made it. You see it in Bunnings. Yeah, it's Yates, Dynamic Lifter. That's a weird... Also, that's a great surname for a comedy pundit. Yes. Julie Dynamic Lifter.

Julie Dynamic married Andre Lifter. I don't want to get... I mean, that I understand. If you're going to get rid of the surname Dynamic. I'm on board with Julie. I like Julie. Dynamic is such a strong name. Aaron Lifter, he's a traditionalist.

He's like, you've got to take my name. It's just what marriage is. They're both good names, but then when you combine them together, I don't know, I take good. Then I reckon the next one, the next very soon I was doing a gig for the CFMMEU, which is a union, right?

And a guy came up, he looked a little bit like the other guy, bald guy with a beard. They all do. Hey, poofs. I'm like, oh, Dom Dom fan. And then I reckon I did the Tafe. I sent you a photo of Beck.

I sent Carl a photo of Beck. I did the Holmes Glen Tafe Christmas party. Okay. All the big gigs. Just to be clear, he sent a photo of her with Dave. Yeah. He didn't take a picture of a girl. A random woman.

Check out her. The photo wasn't taken with the camera in his shoe. Yeah. And immediately I said, well, you're not like the normal fans I've met. You're a woman.

Very nice. But she said to me, she just came up and said, I'm aware. So that was another thing that people say,

of course. But then she said, I'm so glad you didn't open with your catchphrase. I'd love it if you had a guy

come up to you and go, hey poof, and you go, oh, dum, and you go, oh, Dumb Dumb Fan. They're like, what's that?

What's that? I think that's more of the dynamic lifter factory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean,

I've said this before, when I did the band sale of big blokes, all blokes in band sale, this guy goes to me, hey mate. And I'm like, yeah,

how you going? He goes, no, hey mate. Like we've got that trademark, like, hey mate. Your t-shirts, that say hey mate on like, yeah, how are you going? He goes, no, hey, mate. Like we've got that trademark. Like, hey, mate. Your T-shirts that say hey, mate. That's only something we say.

What's the old slang that they'd use for someone being gay? Like, is he a friend of, like, what was the person? Oh, yeah, friend of Dorothy's. Friend of Dorothy's, yeah. What, really? I've never heard that. Yeah, from Wizard of Oz. Yeah, yeah, right, right, right.

We could have it. It's like a horse's hoof, or, yeah, right, right, right. We could have it. It's like... It's like a horse's hoof, or my dad would say. Right, right. We could have it as like, is he a friend of Tim? Hang on, I've never heard

a friend of Dorothy meaning that, what, the scarecrow or the lion? No, no, no. It just means that... The rainbow. No, it's just because Judy Garland, gay men love Judy Garland. Oh, Judy Garland.

Oh, Judy Garland. The whole overall camp nature of the Wizard of Oz. Yeah. She's a gay icon. Yeah, she's just because Judy Garland, gay men love Judy Garland. Oh, Judy Garland. The whole overall camp nature of the Wizard of Oz. She's a gay icon. Yeah, she's a gay icon. Okay, all right. Have you never heard that? No, I've never heard either. She played Festival Hall and was just like on the pills and the booze.

Yeah, right. I like that much more if someone's like, yeah, the Tin Man's gay. Yeah, someone being homophobic who's like, I've watched it a hundred times and I've picked up on all the clues. I've fantasized about fucking the Tin Man. Dorothy was really fucking working moves on the Tin Man. Tin Man didn't even know, not interested, gay. The Lion was a comedian, you know, and the son became a critic and he wrote a story about his dad.

The Lion was a stand-up. And he said his dad wasn't lion was a stand up and he said his dad wasn't very nice he used to put the kids to bed at 6.30pm because he didn't like dealing with them as a father

this guy's got some good ideas I know right I see no problems with that for a moment I thought you meant like canonically

in the world of the Wizard of Oz the lion is a stand up before Dorothy comes along but he didn't have he's the one without courage he's bombing But he didn't have... Oh, no, he was the one without courage. He's bombing.

Yeah, well, he's bombing because he doesn't have courage. He gets up and he's like, ah. He always gets up and he's like, this is new material. Yeah. He's like, oh, what do you do for... Oh, never mind. That must have been on his posters, the lion from The Wizard of Oz.

Oh, yes. As seen in The Wizard of Oz. Yeah. I don't know if you didn't want to talk about it. You know when you get those guys where they don't want to talk about it. You know when you get those guys where they don't want to talk about their biggest thing? Oh, yeah. You know the guy that walked between the Twin Towers on the...

Man on Wire. The Man on a Wire. French guy, right? Yeah, French guy. When John Fane from the ABC 774 gives a call at 1-300-222-774 was just about to be interviewing, that guy wrote on a bit of paper,

do not want to talk about Twin Towers and slid it across the window. Oh, wow. That's great. Seconds before the interview, just pages of notes about the Twin Towers. That's right, Fred. I will not talk about I'm too sexy. What else have we got?

That's all we've got, mate. What would the equivalent be now of like yeah a stand up in the day being in Wizard of Oz huge massive culture just like imagine like Dave O'Neill getting tapped to be an avatar too

yeah yeah but I wouldn't want to talk about it and you come out all painted in blue and like I don't want to talk about it

Dave speaking in Navi and then something on the bottom hey poof and then for by response yeah Dave getting avatar Dave getting his tail and like linking it up with another avatar Hey, poofs. And then Popeye responds. Avatar Dave getting his tail and linking it up with another Avatar to do crowd work with him.

Fantastic. So this gig that you... Oh, sorry. Yeah, I went to... What was it called? Tongala with Billy Stiles and other comics. Where's Tongala? Above Shepparton.

Okay. Two and a half hours. And it was just like, as Billy said at one point, this is like being a Stephen King movie because there was an old woman in a wheelchair

who was heckling us and so she said to Billy, Billy, you know, like in It, Stephen King's the heckler. The disabled heckler.

You've got the killer dog and the haunted car and now you've got an old woman in a wheelchair. He's done it again. What an imagination. A master of horror.

And there was also the four drunk people down the front, and the guy was... They'd all bought tickets, because I said, just tell them to leave, but they wouldn't leave. And the drunk guy just kept saying stuff like, you're not funny. I'm funnier than you.

I'm going to get up there right now. All right, get up here. No, I don't want to. You keep going. And then he just, when I was on stage, he'd just say stuff like, Cranbourne Race 5, I reckon. Do we reckon? It's like, mate, you're not at the TAB.

But anyway, the woman with the wheelchair. So they were disruptive. Oh, sorry. I just got chills hearing about it. The woman with the wheelchair. I'm waiting for the big twist. It's the bad ending. They all see the big twist.

That's just nursing home. Oh, that haunted house gets me to freeze. She goes, how are you? To the woman in the wheelchair. She just goes, you're ugly. What? That's what she said to him. She said that to you?

No, to Billy Starr. You're ugly. And he's not really ugly. You wouldn't say he's horrifically ugly. And then when I went on, and I was sort of ignoring her. And then I said, and how are you going? She goes, oh, I'm just sick of sitting here listening to you. And I said, oh, you bought your own chair.

Get her, Dave. You sure did, you disabled old lady. The crowd were on my side by that stage. The dual lives of Dave O. The crowd were on my side by that stage because she was... Wow. The dual lives of Dave O'Neill were on Twitter. You're like, the Liberal Party

are all fucking selfish and these cunts and they don't care about the working men who are out there getting up on stage and giving it to an old woman in a wheelchair.

I'm saying to some woman in a wheelchair, if you don't like it, walk out. Well, wheel out. I actually did have a Stephen King short story gig once, though. I was in WA, and I figured out basically that WA, all the libraries in small towns, get a $700 entertainment budget.

And if you call them up and say, hey, I'll come to your town and do a show, they'll give you $700 in cash. Sick. And it's great. In cash? In cash, right? Libraries are working really hard. a show they'll give you 700 bucks in cash sick and it's great in cash? in cash libraries are working really? this was like

in 2012 2013 back then gigs were still cash based more right? they hand you the 700

if the tax man asks they just put in a copy of War of the Worlds there was no invoicing at all right?

and so if you do the library gay I'll be out there signing books not my own just whatever. So I go to this one town.

700 bucks, you have to bring it back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just return it within a certain amount of time. So I'm doing all these weird towns and like fucking middle of nowhere

and I reach, and every time I go to a town, I look it up on Wikipedia. A small town library as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And some of these places have a population of 300. Some of those gigs are great

yeah no 300 people would come out the whole fam everyone the whole town would be there because you are a published author

did you have books out at the time that you were doing this yeah yeah but I wasn't doing the book stuff at all it was just stand up just stand up

just a perfect gig because you get an excuse when you bomb everyone's got to be quiet and so I get there bring on Garfield I get there

and they'd I'd always look it up on Wikipedia like the name of the town anything interesting about the town and there's one town I cannot remember

the name now it was in WA and I look it up on Wikipedia and the only interesting fact about the town was two years before

two teenage girls were found dead stuffed in bins oh all right that's on the wikipedia entry for the ping i get there i'm not exactly i drive in a town i see ben cousins walking past because he i fell for bull yes because he had been given that town as his um community service prison release program. Clean out the bins. Basically.

People don't know, Ben Cousins, when he was pulled over by a booze bus, ran and swam across the Swan River to escape the booze bus. Wow. Let's commit. It effectively did prove he was on drugs. Yeah, and that is a big river. Yeah, that's a huge river

so what the fuck is going on dead teenage girls whatever and then Ben Cousins walks past I go to the gig and normally

there'd be some like bed and breakfast in town and they're like you can stay there for the night right this place

they're like oh we don't have any bed and breakfast that's available Maud or whoever some old lady she can put you up in her place

you can't sleep in the fucking reference section I would sleep in the car happily the kid's corner has a bean bag

we got a binge caravan hang out at the myth lab I should like yeah exactly he would have sold my parts for drugs oh my god

being put up by the old woman I go to the old woman's house and I walk in she lives alone 700 bucks doesn't seem enough no no no my parts for drugs. Oh my god. Being put up by the old woman. I go to the old woman's house and I walk in. She lives alone. 700 bucks doesn't seem enough. No, no, no.

Wall to wall porcelain dolls. Yeah. Like just every shelf, every corner, these porcelain vintage dolls. Wow. Right? And they're like meticulously

all over there. And she has, and I'm not exaggerating, a giant pot of something like a red soup bubbling. And she's like, I have dinner. And I was like, I'm not exaggerating, a giant pot of something like a red soup bubbling. And she's like, I have dinner. And I was like, I'm not going to eat. I don't know what the fuck.

Why is that so red? I don't want the two girls soup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm following the trail of breadcrumbs to your house and I'm starting to get a bit sussed about what's going on in here. I go into the guest bedroom. I lie down on the bed and it's rubbery squeaking. So I look, basically under the bed sheet, she's still got plastic on the mattress and it's it's rubbery squeaking so i look basically under the bed sheet she's still got plastic on the mattress oh yeah and in my head i'm thinking oh that's to catch the blood

yeah like right away my brain's like oh yeah that's how you make red soup that's how exactly and then when you come in and stab you the mattress doesn't get soaked and the plastic catches it yeah and so i put in the pot like two o'clock in the morning. I figured she must be asleep by now. I snuck out into my car and drove eight hours back to know them because I was so fucking frightened. I did the gig and then I didn't spend the night. I couldn't spend the night and left in the morning. I was like all night.

I fucking lay there looking at the door going like now she's going to come in. She's just going to come. I fucking freaked out. I literally jumped in the car, drove. I called up like my wife at the time and I was like, I'm coming home now. She's like, it's two to come in. She's just going to come. I fucking freaked out. I literally jumped in the car, drove. I called up my wife at the time and I was like, I'm coming home now. She's like, it's two in the fucking morning. It's an eight hour drive.

This woman go and kill your wife. That's the tragic twist in the story. You drove eight hours. I drove eight hours back to Northern. That was my last gig. Did Ben give you some stuff? Drop by Ben's caravan. Drive across the river.

Well, I did a library gig once I did library gigs when I had book some guy interrupted me to ask me where Harry Potter was true story I'm actually on stage talking

talking to a group of people and this guy goes excuse me I go what what what he goes where's the Harry Potter section I'm like it's I thought

I thought he was asking where the Harry Potter was where was Harry Potter was. He's not real, for a start. That's a good bit if you went around your library tour promoting a book and you just dress up as a different famous literary character at every gig that you do. I thought he might have thought that there was someone

just reading out their own books in every section of the library. That's cool. A library festival. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's like, headline, J.. A library festival. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's like, headlining, J.K. Rowling. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, not even J.K. Rowling. The people from, like he thinks that Harry Potter's a real person. Yeah. He's reading his own, that's an autobiography. Oh, right, because Dave's book's about Dave.

So Dave is there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it. You've got Jesus reading the Bible and all the rest of it. Cool. That would be cool. Yeah, yeah. Dave, we talk about music every now and then. We do. When you're all the rest of it. Cool. That would be cool.

Dave, we talk about music every now and then with you when you're on the show. We love music. I went and saw The Idols. Oh, right. How was that? They were great. Do you know them? Is it Idols?

It's not The Idols. It's not The Idols, yeah. It's Idols. I was being polite, but you got the name wrong. Fake fan. Ben Mendelsohn was there. I should have said hello to him. Really? Yeah.

Damn. Mendo. He's from Rogue One. He's famous now. Do you think Mendo would know who you are? No. He could have seen The Nugget. The Nugget.

Yeah. Haven't you been in a movie with him? No, not Mendo. But he used to know Greg Fleet. He used to hang around the comedy scene a bit. I reckon Mendo's aware of who Dave O'Neill is. Okay, cool. I think he's pretty...

Have I told you my Mendo story? A friend of mine... He used to live with Fleetie, didn't he? Yeah. Yeah. I know a guy who was saying saying they either worked at this jb hi-fi or they were just in the jb hi-fi and it was like a weekend afternoon and they could just hear like it was empty and they had seen that one person had come in and they could just hear chatter in the aisles and they're like the fuck's going on and they walk into one of the aisles and it's mendo just having

a conversation with the covers of the DVDs. This is, fuck this movie. Just picking up. I was good in that. I don't even think like his film, just picking up like, ah, g'day Rango, what are you up to today?

Just like riffing it out with the fucking Pixar characters and shit. I was in the supermarket down the beach and the checkout chick's down there and another guy comes over and goes oh my god we've got a genuine celebrity

in the store. I'm like sell it down guys. But it was Bailey Smith who plays for the Western Bulldogs and he's the guy off the mullet

you know he's on all the billboards. He's also an underwear model. Okay. Yeah he's the most he's got the most Instagram followers out of any AFL player

Bailey Smith. He's good looking and so anyway but he was opening on the Herald Sun and he's got the most Instagram followers out of any AFL player, Bailey Smith. He's good looking. And so anyway, but he was opening on the Herald Sun and he had played the night before or whatever. And there's always photos of him in the papers. And he's talking to the paper going, get fucked. Fuck off. Why are they saying, oh, fuck off.

And then his girlfriend comes over and goes, Bailey, come on. Leave it alone, Bailey. And so she sort of walks him off. And I'm looking at the checkup person going, oh, my God. Then five minutes later, he comes back with the girlfriend and opens up again and starts like, fuck them, fuck them. And I go, mate, it's not a library. You're going to have to buy that.

The idea of being busted, like interacting. Talking to the things. Yeah. When I did a Tonightly on the ABC many years ago, you tape it in the afternoon. It's on that night. I was flying home late. And I was flying home late enough that it was on the ABC

while I was at the departure gate, like waiting to get on the flight. So I just fire up. I'm like, well, I want to see. I'm hoping it looks good. I want to look back at it. So I'm just sitting in the fucking departure lounge just on my iPad, just watching myself.

Oh, you're watching on your iPad? Well, yeah, just streaming it from the ABC because the ABC app has the, like, watch live. So I'm like, you know what? I'm sitting here with half an hour to go. I want to see how it looks. And just really, like, looking around, I'm like, people obviously clocking it.

Just being little cunts just sitting there watching himself on TV that is pernicious well you know Glenn Robbins was on a plane once and the woman

next to him was watching Kath and Kim on the little screen and she said they started talking and she said and what do you do

he just pointed to the screen and said I do that fuck that rules she freaked out I mean I'm saying It's embarrassing

She woke up her husband I do that That's so good That's me But you do see those things Of like big stars You know when they've got A movie out

They'll like pop into A screening on like The opening week Yeah yeah yeah They'll just randomly Go incognito And get to the end And go

It's me I was here all along It's that great tweet Of you know A woman in America Tweeted a photo of Axl Rose when he was young and said, why aren't there blokes like this anymore? And Axl Rose tweeted and said, I'm right here.

She said, oh, you're some fat old man. He goes, no, literally, that's me. That's me in that photo. What do you want to say about music? Well, yeah, have you ever had an interaction when you were younger? Did you ever meet any of your favourite bands? Absolutely. Who was your number one interaction?

We loved The Reels. That's Dave Mason. You remember The Reels? They had a few big hits. I remember them. Quasimodo's Dream. They were a big band in the 80s. They had some hits, Prefab Heart.

And so when I was in a band, we went to Sydney in the 80s, we were in mid-80s, and we stayed at King's Cross. And we were very naive young, 19 know, 19-year-olds. And we saw Dave Mason, the lead singer, in like a fish and chip shop at three in the morning. Yep. And he's like – I went up to him and said, oh, mate, we're big fans of yours, and can you – we've got a bang.

Could you accept our cassette tape? And he goes, yeah, no worries. And he goes, can you lend me 20 bucks? Yes. Yes. For what he was ordering? Didn't cover the cost of the flake? I think he was on drugs.

I need some scallops. I guess, like, being in bands now, like... 20 bucks? That's the ultimate never meet your hero story. Oh, one of my friends went down to Geelong to see, you know, what's his name, Black Flag, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah, Henry Rollins. Henry Rollins.

He went, like, two hours before the gig to try and meet him. And Henry Rollins, like the wanker, is sitting in the gutter outside the venue just with his head down. Like just sit like, you know, look at me. Is that the work of a wanker? I don't know. Oh, he's a bit of a wanker. Doing a bit of like wanting, you mean like wanting to be recognised kind of thing?

So my friend Chris goes up and goes, excuse me, I don't want to interrupt you, obviously, whatever, but I am a big fan and I just want to say I've got all your records, I've got all your books and all that. And Henry Rollins just looks up

and goes, fuck off. That's the, yeah, that's the night. But that's an on-brand Henry Rollins. Yeah, that's on-brand. Is it though? I thought he was an alright guy.

I thought he was supposed to be alright. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. He's good in these. He's a good actor when he acts and stuff. I mean, bands must...

I wonder like older bands that have been around a while, whether they're like, thank God things aren't on cassette anymore. Like the thing of like getting handed a cassette or like a demo CD. But I guess now it's probably like, you know, you meet a band that you really like and you're like a young band and you're like,

get your phone out. I'll just add us on Spotify now. Like it's probably almost like more annoying. No one speaks on that I met Jarvis Cocker which was great from Pulp he was awesome

he was really good Peter Garrett from Me Not All where I showed him my year 10 folder which had him on the front little hearts drawn around him embarrassing

one of my favourite bands is Hot Chip I've talked about this on the show before I love the band Hot Chip you'd probably know a couple of their songs. Yeah.

Sammy, familiar? Never heard of them. Okay. Well, they're not massive. They're a British band. Okay. And I told this story on the pod at the time, but I went to see them. They came out just before the pandemic hit.

They were one of the last concerts, I think, of an international band in this country before we went into the lockdown. And the gig finished. I was standing at the front of the gig, this guy came up to me and he's like, oh, it's you. You're Alexis, the singer from the band. And I'm like, no, I'm not. I wish I was.

Yeah, yeah. I'm like, he's like, can I get a photo? I'm like, it's not me. And he goes, nah, it's you. All right. I guess it is. I'm like, man, I promise you it's not me. Like the gig finished five minutes ago. I'm in different clothes. You're you it's not me. The gig finished five minutes ago.

I'm in different clothes. You're putting on an Australian accent. You know that they're British. You can hear the accent. And then he just gets really angry and he goes, mate, if you didn't want to be recognised, you shouldn't be standing around at the front of your own gig. You shouldn't be standing on stage at your own gig.

So then I just go, you know what, fuck it. You can get a photo. So then I lean in, I get a photo with him. Other people see this and they're like, oh shit, it's the singer from Hot Chip. He's doling out photos to anyone who wants one. So then all of a sudden there's like a line of people wanting photos with me. I'm indulging. I do this like with eight people.

Then I go for a drink at a bar just like around the corner. The original guy is in the bar and he sees me come in and he's like, everyone, it's Alexis from Hot Chip. Oh, Jesus. And like the bar put on like Hot Chip, which is like the assumption that the singer would want to just hear you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, he's already done the first thing.

He's already gone, all right, I've got the selfie and then he's got all that bit and then you've gone into another bar and then he's had his second crack. Yeah. Like everyone else? Well, by this point, That's in poor form. I'm acting.

I'm role-playing. I'm fully taking requests. I'm like, yeah, I'm humming demos. I'm fully living. It's like rock and roll fantasy. You're taking demos off young bands. Yeah, totally.

I'm giving people advice about music. I'm getting really drunk. I'm having this great time. So anyway, I've been people advice about music. Because I'm like getting really drunk. I'm like having this great time. So anyway, I've been doing this bit as stand-up and it's been working well in spite of the fact that they're not like a very big band. No. And like I don't, you know, I've been doing the bit

where I don't have like access to a screen to like show a photo of, you know, us side by side or anything like that. Bit's been working pretty well, right? Anyway, so Hotship were out here like two weeks ago they toured australia they didn't come to melbourne they went to brisbane and they went to sydney so i go to sydney to see him i buy a ticket for me and my friend i go up there for the night and because this bit's been working well i'm starting to think like i'm going to do it in my festival show and i'm starting to think like it'd be so good to like

get like something from this guy from this guy alexis like have a little video of him yeah being like oh i don't really see it or like whatever just and i'm like thinking they're not a massive enough band that this is like completely crazy to think that i could make this happen right um you know i can you know where are they playing what's the venue they're playing in sydney they're playing at the the roundhouse a uni venue all right a weird uni weird uni venue. But like here, the last time they were here, they played the forum. Okay.

So they're at that level. It's big, but it's not like... It's not sold out Athenaeum like, you know, some podcast. Yeah, true. Yeah, right.

But it's not like if you had a bit about looking like Harry Styles and you're like, there's just no, you know, it's conceivable that I could somehow

get access to this guy. So I'm going to the gig in Sydney with a friend of mine. And my friend Lev's just one of those guys who, like, he's really good at making things happen. He's just kind of got that kind of mind where he's just, like, a good problem solver.

He's good. Like, things naturally fall into his lap. So I message him about this. I'm like, here's what I want to try and do. How would you go about this? Do you know? Yeah, message him on Instagram. What do you do? Get you touch with him and he he's like oh let me have a think and then he goes oh you know what i've just looked in my phone i've got the phone number of

the guitarist in hot chip oh shit i'll just message him and it's like did you know that he knew hot chip no i'm like yeah because also it's like i bought the tickets for us to the concert i'm like why am i shouting i know you're i shouting you know why are you getting us on the door that's a weird thing to go into a show that you know the people yeah yeah sure oh that's right maybe i'll have a gig with my mate that's in the get on stage is that weaving to him from stage but also just me going like you know oh i wonder i'll pick lev's brain like what would he do and the answer is already know someone in the band it's like it's just that easy yeah so he so he's like we you know i'm like all right well here's what i'm thinking so he sends a text to this guy

his name's al now this guy the guitarist in hot chip he's also in the band lcd sound system yeah one of your favorites One of my other favorites. So then the day before I go to Sydney for this gig, I'm on Instagram and I see LCD Sound System. They're playing Colbert that night. And so I'm like, oh, the guitarist isn't coming out for this gig. He can't be there. Yeah.

He must not be coming out. And I messaged this to Lev and he's like, yeah, I haven't heard anything back. I'm sorry. We're at a bit of a dead end here. So'm like oh fuck okay so i go up to sydney the the trail's gone cold apart from the fact that level now remember oh that's right that's my brother that's the singer i forgot i am the yeah well i'm also i'm like it's it's also so funny to be stressing about getting a video about this guy who's like not famous in like even if like getting a video of him in my festival show not famous in like even if like getting a video

of him in my festival show would be like i think great for the bit and great for just but you could get a video of anyone and the audience wouldn't know most exactly like 90 of the people in that room on a good night are gonna go oh is that the guy i guess yeah i guess i'll take your word for it sure so uh i go up to sydney i'm staying Just put two pictures Of yourself up on the stage Oh yeah Different hat He does look like him Yeah yeah Is that college frisbee

Who is that So I'm staying at I had to go I had to come back Very early the next day After the gig So I'm staying I'm fulfilling a

Lifelong dream I'm staying at an Airport hotel Oh great Oh I want to ask you About that I've stayed at one of them Is it the one F4 yeah not formula not formula one

formula one formula one yeah well i book i just look up sydney airport yeah dot com i find one i'm like okay cool but it's not near the airport right so i walk out the front door and i'm like on you know google maps being like oh what's what direction do i walk and it's like this is a 10 minute bus ride away yeah like i thought i was gonna you know the ones like the one that we have here in melbourne there's an there's a hotel that's like on the top of the car park yes at the actual no there's none in sydney it turns out this is like down the road and was this the dodgiest place you've ever stayed because i said it won that was it was 10-15 minutes away from the airport that was pretty brutal it was horrific it was an ibis It was an Ibis Styles Oh this was

This wasn't even an Ibis Yeah Ibis Styles is like The budget Ibis Not bad It wasn't It wasn't And I was like

I'm not I'm not gonna really be in here But it was like I mean I wanted the thing of like You're living at the airport Yeah yeah yeah I'm Tom Hanks in Terminal I'm actually just in a shit hotel

In a shit suburb Not near anything The time when we went overseas We went to Montreal And you and whoever it was, you had actual confirmed tickets to fly to New York and I didn't. I had standby. And you guys are like posting from Times Square because you got on the plane and I didn't.

Because I was on standby and I just got an airport hotel in Montreal. And it was just super grim. And it was like, I remember seeing you guys sending us pictures of like you and Times Square and me having walked from my airport hotel down the side of a highway to eat in an Italian restaurant on a major highway.

A Canadian Italian restaurant on a highway. It was fucking rotten. I mean the grass is always greener because it's like when you're in New York and you go to Times Square and you're like

oh Times Square and then you get there you're like this sucks this is so depressing this like dirty old elmo's trying to charge me nothing like vanilla sky yeah so yeah i'm at this uh i'm at i'm at the airport hotel just grim just not really not living up to the airport hotel fantasy for me at all I'm just in a shit suburb in a depressing hotel yeah so we go to the gig and I'm still

you know I'm thinking I'm in Lev's orbit things he's just one of those guys yeah yeah things fall into his lap I know you mean yeah

there's certain people out there that just you don't you know you go how the fuck do they do that yeah and they just do it I don't know

it's not a talent that the rest of us have he literally is a guy who'll be like, he'll message and be like, oh, I just got this great opportunity by accident. You know, someone randomly just found me on Instagram and hit me up, and now I have this great job.

And now I'm starring in the Dash movie, right? Yeah. Not to say that he's not like a talented good guy. But anyway, so we go to the gig. Fantastic gig. Halfway through, I go to get a drink. Now, is the guitarist at your gig? He's definitely not there.

No, he's not there. They've got the tour manager just stepping in to play the odd song on guitar, which is a bit weird. I go to get a drink midway through the gig. It happens again. Oh, no shit. Like, a guy goes to me, like, sees me and goes, goes Oh And it's like He's literally on stage He's literally singing Yeah we have our own drinks backstage

I've now googled him That would be good You do not He thought it was some sort of Two pack gig It's like Yeah the hologram's up there But I've come to get a drink

Yeah just one of the other band members Ripping a huge solo He's like It's like the Wiggles We're franchising it out That's right I love the idea That you're such a man of the people that it's like, you know, I don't want to just drink something from the rider.

I want to go out and wait in line for a beer like the fans are. You know, I want to be amongst it. But you look nothing like him. And I don't mean this like neither, like it's not like a good-looking versus bad-looking thing. You guys are both perfectly good-looking guys who look nothing like each other. I think what it is is that I have very similar glasses to him.

Oh, yeah. We're both short little effeminate men with similar looking glasses. It's a specs, basically. Did you get mistaken for Moby, too? Yeah, I have had someone message me and say, you look like budget Moby. Excuse me, Prime Minister John Howard.

Woody Allen over here. So, yeah. And this guy thinking that I'm him in the crowd. That's awesome. So, Hotship audiences, clearly not bright, is the lesson here. I think they've been listening a lot more than they've been looking. Yeah, a bit older. Their brains are starting to fry a bit. So, yeah, yeah. At the album notes. Yeah, a bit older. You know, their brains

are starting to fry a bit. So I'm thinking this is a sign. I mean, it's happening in the gig that I've flown up to. Surely you can at least

it'd be nice if you could try to get backstage by just knocking up you know, going to the bench and going I do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We all watch me up there. Do a Glenn Robbins. Well, I mean because it's like the stressful thing about it too is like, I'm thinking this is a thing that if you heard this,

it's like, it could go either way because it is kind of like a funny, weird story to tell. But also in terms of like getting the message through to him to ask him to do this, it's just such an insane amount

of information to have to convey. Got mistaken for you. Also, by the way i do comedy yeah i've been doing a routine about it and also i think if you heard this you know as a comedian if someone comes up and goes hey i get told i look like you it's like i don't want to see the see no yeah absolutely i don't want to see you i don't want to hear any more about this at 100 and you know in all the like drafting of like messages to put through to him yeah i was trying to put across i personally don't see it.

It's kind of a funny weird thing to have happen. I think you're a dreamboat. I think you're way better looking than me. So we get to the end of the gig and kind of milling around. Now there's a listener of ours, someone who came to, I think at least one Koh Samui International Podcast Festival, who's really into this band, who I follow on Instagram. And I've seen her during the day posting that she's in Sydney.

So I kind of think, oh, she's come up for the gig. So I'm like, everyone's kind of milling around, like the crowd's kind of filtering out after the show. And I see this person kind of standing up near the front. I go up to her and I'm like, well, well, well, fancy seeing you here. And she's like, oh yeah. And I'm like, yeah, great show.

You know, the new stuff sounded really good. They were tight. And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah and it's like as we're getting deeper into this i'm like this is not this person every 10 seconds every 10 seconds like a little a little bit of a kind of chips and i'm just noticing more and more ways in which she's not this person at any point did you say i'm the lead singer you're being very rude to the lead singer i mean i know i'm just saying you're not singing it but still you could respond At any point did you say, I'm the lead singer? You're being very rude to the lead singer part of it right now. I know I'm just saying and not singing it, but still, you could respond. Yeah, and I'm like, I can't get out of this.

And then her partner comes along and she's like, hey, let's go get a drink. Just cannot get away quick enough. And I'm like, I'm still just playing it up like, ah, see ya. But I just love her just taking me at face value. Just being too polite to be like, I'm not who you think I am. Those Reddit threads which are like,

I met a celebrity and this was my interaction. There'd be one of like, Leedsing of hot chips are hitting on me right after. And he keeps talking about, how loud were those crickets on the beach at Coastal Mill during the podcast festival? Wasn't that funny? The cicadas were really annoying that night.

They should get Kappa into the band. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? What? He's like the guy from Arcade Fire. That guy from Arcade Fire was doing... Anyway. So it's all filtered out.

Crowd's kind of filtered out. We're standing around at the front of the gig and I'm just thinking like, all right, well, kind of feels like this is it. It's great. Flew to Sydney. It's a great show.

They weren't coming to Melbourne. Can't be too mad at that. Then this guy comes over who Lev knows and we're just kind of chatting to him and he's like, anyway, my boss is backstage with the band at the moment.

Apparently they, you know, they want to go out and party. So they're just looking around for someone who looks like them. They're just really bored. They've run out of things to talk about and they're just like I wish someone had

like a weird story to tell us apparently there's a creepy guy pretending to be him he's talking to girls they're having this weird competition 10 grand to whoever

can find someone who looks a little bit like them and they just haven't gotten to the end of it yet they actually got a message from their guitarist from New York

in the process of putting out a restraining order on one of their fans so I so yeah we're standing around talking to this guy and he's like oh

yeah my boss yeah yeah I think I'm gonna go back do you guys want to come for a drink I've only got one kind of backstage extra thing here but

security have been you know that we could probably just like sneak on past and I'm thinking like yeah I think they'll take one look at this

velvet curtain yeah so um so we go it's called a fucking encore so we go back we're in the we're in the after show there's like an after show party room like in the in the venue yeah we walk in the room yeah whole band's there oh i'm a foot away from alexis oh wow i'm like whoa i'm standing as close to him now as i am to you. And I'm like, and this simultaneously is like, you know, perfect scenario. Yeah. What I wanted, but also just my nightmare.

Because now I'm going to have to like. Now you have to do something. Either that, if you don't do something, you walk away and go, fuck, I was right there. Yeah. And so I've had a couple of, you know, I've had a couple of beers during the show and before the show. And I'm feeling a bit, you know what I mean? I'm like, God damn, I wish I was a bit more clear-headed. Because again, it's like, I'm thinking I'm going to have to-

But you had the Dutch courage. Oh yeah, I would have wanted a few more beers to get that courage going. But it's also like, again, like I said, there's so much bizarre information to have to convey in this story that I don't want to come across as just some drunk slob who's like slurring the information out not making sense yeah

so speaking of drunk slobs your dog's slobbering oh sorry she's alright he's alright okay so I'm standing next to him

but he's in a conversation with other people and I'm like I don't want to be rude don't want to interrupt get out of my way I look like you hey scene double?

What do you reckon, girls? I did think about, I did think like, now I'm standing here and I'm trying to like, you know, position myself kind of physically near him.

So other people would go like, yeah, you guys. Other people in the room would be like, now this is insane. This car, I mean, sorry,

we got to talk about this. The elephant, the two elephants in the room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I'm in a conversation and I'm thinking like, you know, to talk about this. The elephant, the two elephants in the room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I'm in a conversation with him. I'm thinking, like, you know, I'll just wait. You know, I'll wait until he's done with what... Because he's talking to, like, a big group of people.

And it's like all... I love it. Just shut up. How about we play Spot the Difference? And, like, it's all, you know, it's all people from, like, the record label and the tour promoter. So it's all, like, it's kind the tour promoters. So it's all like... The people who should be there.

The people who should be there. Not someone with a vague, glancing sort of resemblance. Some stalker. Oh, I mean, I came so close to wearing my T-shirt of the band to the gig. I'm like, well, I've flown to another state for it. Like, why not? I do like that when sometimes there'll be some sort of Halloween costume or whatever and it's like Batman, and they'll have written

Batman on the mask. Batman doesn't have Batman written on his head. So yeah, kind of just waiting for my moment, and doing that thing where I met a couple of other people, lovely people, but you're so distracted. It's like what people talk about, the artist bars at festivals and stuff. It's like someone gets into a conversation, they're just like shoulder surfing you, just constantly like...

Just looking over your shoulder. Yeah, they're the reason you're all there. I get it. Everyone's having a conversation, but you know where the band is at all times. Yeah, and I mean, I'm kind of rudely... I'm talking to this guy, but I'm also looking over at Alexis,

which to be fair isn't that rude because it's just like I'm looking in a mirror. It's not that rude to do in a conversation. It is sort of rude to look at yourself in a mirror in a conversation. It's kind of worse. It's kind of worse to be like, I was thinking about myself instead of being like, there was a famous person I wanted to talk to. So, all

of a sudden, I look over, he's gone. He's slinked out. He's slinked out. He's slinked out of the party. Now, a few minutes later. He was like, it's too creepy. I keep looking at this guy. He looks like I'm going to have a little shit.

I'm heading out. They'll think I'm still there. It's my excuse. My proxy can do all the wheeling and dealing and schmoozing for me. You signed two more recording contracts and everything. You're like Colonel Sanders, you know. They replace them. I was thinking Saddam Hussein, but yeah.

So, yeah, now we're just kind of milling around. Now, there's like another main dude in the group whose name is Joe. And now Lev knows these guys because he was like on tour with them at the Big Day Out in 2006. So he kind of walks over to Joe with me and he's like, Joe, Levins. And Joe's like, Levvens, like remembers him. We're having this, now we're in this chat.

I'm in a chat with like the other main dude in the band. I'm like, this is pretty cool. And how much do you look like him? Not at all. Oh, damn. I did cross my mind. I was like, can I? I was hoping for some reason the entire band looked the same.

Yeah, that's kind of cool you can make that work yeah yeah yeah I mean if this was just a Slipknot situation and they were all in crazy masks it'd be so easy to fake

what a shame what a shame that I'm not more of a fan of Slipknot that's so funny that's like you walk around with a mask on people go

do you ever anyone ever tell you you look like one of the guys from Slipknot yes because I bought their mask off them no I'm not even wearing the mask

I'm out the front of the Slipknot gig. Someone's like, oh my God, it's the guy with nails in his face. I'm such a big fan. You've got the gas mask on. That's my mask. That's how I look. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's CPAP. It's CPAP. It's CPAP. The Sleepapnea member of Slipknot. Yeah, yeah. So we're talking to Joe, having a nice chat, chat and then you know it's and it's and now it's like we just got to call it yeah it's time to go home oh oh oh sorry

i thought you were gonna ask him but anyway no i just was like you know what it's it's too like i don't know i'm having a nice chat with him i'm like now it's like a step removed if i'm saying i'm like you know what i'm gonna cut my losses here had a nice interaction with you know still met one of the main dudes was backstage you know pretty fun

you didn't think like you know you're talking to him you don't get a video because you're looking for a video for the end of your comedy festival show

it's not like you don't get him going anyway hey what's the guy's name again what's the lead singer's name the main dude Alexis you don't get him saying

Alexis I'm going to do a solo, okay? What do you think, Alexis? And it cuts to you and it's like you're in the same band or something. Yeah, I'm here with the lead singer of Hot Chip. My band. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm here with my childhood friend from my band.

We're Hot Chip. We're programming Rage. I get that you're there. You're a bit pissed and maybe you don't even come up with as good a riff as what I've just come up with. Like, hey, I'm here with a guy, have a sing song. I mean, I'm so disheartened by the fact that he's slinked off. You know what I mean?

I'm just focused on that. You want to go back to the airport hotel now. Yeah, exactly. I want to go back to my depressing hotel. So get in an Uber. Uber overshoots my hotel. I so want the Uber driver to turn around it is Alexis

from Hot Chip and I'm just I'm in the Uber I'm just already in a bad mood I'm like oh man that's better he gets so desperate he's like the Uber driver

looks a bit like him he's like oh that's the you end of the show I look like an Uber driver everyone the one from Sydney so yeah I'm like I'm just beating myself up in the Uber.

I'm like, I wish I was more assertive. I wish I was, you know, I should have just, I had the moment. I can't believe how close I got. I'm such a fuck up. And so Uber just completely overshoots the hotel, just drives right past the hotel. And I'm just, I'm already in a bad mood. So I'm just like, I tee off.

I'm like, mate, you fuck, the hotel's fucking there. You fucking idiot. And he's like, I'm just going, I tee off. I'm like, mate, you fuck, the hotel's fucking there. You've gone far past it, you fucking idiot. And he's like, I'm just going where you said to go. And he points at the map. And for some reason, I don't know why I've done this, I've put in the subway at the airport. It's 2 a.m. by this point. No subway is open past like 10 p.m.

This guy's just gonna camp out Yeah He loves a sandwich Schnitzel roll at 6am Yeah Great Anyway so I get up In the morning

I fly home And um I just keep hoping This fucking cunt Turns up in the story I know right Yeah Uh

I'm I fly Yeah fly home I'm going to a wedding that day Um I just As I'm on the plane I'm like

I put up You know a bunch of videos That I took at the gig And I tag You know as i'm on the plane i'm like i put up you know a bunch of videos that i took at the gig and i tag you know the whole band in it being like oh okay um i in my inbox on instagram i see that joe has seen my story yep right so he's engaging with joe the guitarist joe the the other main dude yeah yeah through who's friends with who you talk to um who i yeah who I met that night because I have DM'd this to Alexis

and he's just you know it's gone to his other folder he's ignored you know it hasn't come up so I see that Joe's seen it

and so I send him a message and I go oh hey man great to meet you last night I was Levins' friend just wondering

can I ask you a weird question and like what time does the subway close is it the airport why are there any motels

at the airport he writes back and he's like oh hi Tommy nice to meet you too sure ask away and I'm thinking

alright here we go oh god so I send I just fuck him I give him the whole I give him all of it I tried it I just tried

and then he drove past my subway I called the Uber driver a cunt and what do you reckon about that I give him all of it. I tried it. I just tried it. And then he drove past my subway. I called the Uber driver a cunt. What do you reckon about that? I give him every, but I'm trying to,

you know, I'm trying to give detail but compacted. Yeah. And like I'm, you know, I'm getting, like I'm driving,

I see the reply as I'm getting petrol on the way to drive to this wedding out of town. So I'm having to quickly kind of like finesse this message. Like we're already like running late to the wedding. You want to be on a laptop for this sort of stuff no

totally yeah i need it i need a couple of hours to sort of like let the message marinate punch it up send it this was a week and a half ago oh left on red oh so nothing nothing left on red so So nothing? Nothing. Left on read. Fuck hardship. That's what I'm going to say now. For you, on your behalf. Unfortunately, when you come to Tommy Daslow's solo show this year and the last five minutes is silence. Just a man weeping on stage. Being a footlong.

It's the equivalent. It's finally back open. I got my footlong pastrami, everyone. It's finally back open. I got my full-on pastrami everyone. It's a happy ending. And then my

dad died and played a sad song. What a great show Tom, we did this year. This is the closest I got

and then he puts his hand into a packet of hot cheese. That's actually good. Or I just

leave my Zoom open on my laptop on the screen and I'm just DMing the meeting code to Alexis every evening. It's like, hey, man, if at 8.50 you feel like hopping on, do you know every night I'm like, fingers crossed, guys,

I wonder if he's going to Zoom in. That's actually good. That's actually not a bad bit. Yeah, yeah. So you asked him, but he never read the question, do you reckon? I sent it to his mate, the other main guy in the band he's seen it he's taken it all in

and you know and then it's like there's like a you know because it's like there's a 48 hour window there where I'm like just opening Instagram feverishly

yeah yeah yeah thinking like you know what it's like the start of a new relationship or something yeah yeah waiting for someone

to come back they will find it Adelaide the next day to do another you know there's nothing to do there. You might as well reply to some fucking weirdo

coming on Instagram. I'm cutting in the benefit of the doubt. I'm like, you know, they're busy, they're doing this, they're on the plane,

they're doing the show. I did, in a moment of desperation, I did see your friend of, friends of the show, The Avalanches, were playing at,

at the same festival. Not only at the same festival but like filming them from side of stage and I was like man I was with Tony he was asking me

to come over with him man it's like me and Milan were thinking about going there you were all backstage going Dazzler what are you doing here

let's do an ep of the pod right now so yeah I'm sorry to waste everyone's time with that story that does not have a happy ending, but I just had to... That's a Stephen King story right there.

Stay tuned. I had to get my frustration out. I mean, look, maybe he takes a deep dive into the messages folder, maybe something, but it's like, I think if I've come this close, I've gotten as close as I could possibly get and it didn't happen. I got to let it go. The dream is dead, folks. I'm really sorry. You were physically right next to him at one point. I was right happen. Yeah. I got to let it go. The dream is dead, folks. I'm really sorry.

I mean, you were physically right next to him at one point. I was right next to him. I got in contact with his mate. Well, I just realised I'm mates with those guys in the band and they're mates with them. I mean, maybe I can...

Maybe Carl can make it work. Maybe I can make it work. What I love is, I love the idea that, you know, I'm assuming I've DM'd this to Alexis. He just doesn't check his other messages. He hasn't seen it.

Ah, Joe just hasn't passed this on. And it's like, just the image of like, say Tony like one-on-one to him, like meeting him and him being like, how many fucking times am I going to have, how much silence do I have to give out? Tony, how about you work on a fucking album

instead of fucking this shit? But I really feel like, you know, karmically, I want to put back out into the world. It's like, you know what, anyone,

if you're out there, if you're listening, if you want me to like do something fucking weird for you within reason, DM me, I'll get a look at it. You know what I mean?

I want to like do a pay it forward thing. If you want me to send you like a weird video, you know, like, maybe it's just one of those requests that are too weird

Like someone sent me A request once Can you come to the Boxhill Hospital And do a gig for people On kidney dialysis Now I've read it

And like this guy I just went What the fuck I can't do that I mean it's Maybe they read it And just went Nah too hard

Was it a band gig Or Huh Were they offering money Or No it was charity Fuck that. I can't imagine myself reading that from the other side.

I don't think they're too similar at all. I don't. I really... I think you should have done that, Gigg. It sounds like a nice thing to do. I really feel like Dave's judgment on this wasn't what he thought. It's not right, is it? I think you switched off ten minutes ago and didn't listen to Tommy's story

because I don't think that's very alike. If the story was me messaging Joe and being like, hey, Alexis is my favourite musician, my son has cancer, can you film a little video for him just saying, like, good on you, champ, because he loves hot chip, and that was left on read, then probably the same thing. Yeah, maybe I'm old. I'll just be putting it in the analysis, like,

Dave O'Neill's got to come on in. I remember the woman did say they're a good audience because they can't move. They're stuck to the machine. What the fuck? We've had experience with those people. It's a hot room. I always thought Royal Children's Hospital, fucking banger of a gig.

They can't walk out. They're attached to a tube. Fucking great audience. I do my wheelchair stuff. I do feel in a weird way, like being left on Reddit, it's like secondary to actually getting what I wanted. Because exactly what you were describing before, Dave, the nightmare interaction for me would be, you know,

I get the stones to say this to Alexis when I'm in the room, and he goes, fuck off. You know what I mean? And then it's like, then I truly would have trouble ever listening to them again. It's like, that really would have, like... Yeah, that's true. I mean, I guess it's better to get ghosted than to have like a negative...

Or like, Joe go like, this has got to be one of the worst messages I've ever... Because honestly, think about it. If someone had messaged you the same thing about you, you would be a little weirded out. You'd be like, ah... Or like, you know, you're... I'd be like, this is a lot, but... After a gig, all the comedians are hanging out and some fan comes up And he's like Hey you know Everyone says we look Like each other

Do you mind if I You might say something Like ah I don't wanna I'm trying to chill out Yeah yeah yeah No totally And that would actually

Crush your spirit More than this Yeah totally Like when Kyle Medavos Costello Didn't he Brush you off No no

He was alright You're thinking of Rolf Harris I know, remember his story. People think I look like him. Well, they say I act like him. No, no, no. I got off

very nicely because I was four at the time and I tried to meet him and he fobbed me off. I was devastated at the time, but in hindsight, I think that was a good end of the story. I mean, yeah yeah getting a message back from Joe where he's like we as a band

we sat down and we watched some of your stand up on YouTube just to do our due diligence of what we'd be lending our name to and you suck yeah yeah

I've just texted Tony from the band and said how well do you know Alexis from Hot Chip so let's find out there we go do we

do we do we keep on the line or do we? No, no. The texts from him are a little bit like their albums. So I wouldn't be. We've been playing 20 years. Unless we're planning a four-year podcast. Right.

Well, hopefully we'll get the follow-up, you know, by the time Hot Chip are out here touring next time. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. All right. Well, we'd better wrap it up for another week on the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Thank you guys for coming on that journey. Pleasure. Yeah, it was worth it. Well, we'd better wrap it up for another week on the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Thank you guys for coming on that journey.

Pleasure. It was worth it. Honestly, it was, actually. Yeah. I think the ending works better this week. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see. Cliffhanger.

Cliffhanger. Dave, sorry you checked out midway through that story. No, it's all right. I heard more chips and started thinking about lunch. Guys, you've got things to plug Dave you got a bunch of podcasts Podcasts yeah Oh yeah

Somehow related with Glenn Robbins The Junkies with Kitty Flanagan And then yeah the Debrief Great Debrief is just you Doing a gig with someone And then Driving

Driving them home And talking to them Yeah so recently I did Mick Malloy Which is interesting And yeah just some of the regulars Oxy You followed up on something That we were talking about on this show. You got Strassman on the podcast.

Yes. Oh, you did too. Yes, well, because I used to tour with him. And so they actually asked, yeah, they kept asking, do you want to interview him? You were Teddy Bear. I was Teddy Bear. And so, yeah, he was interesting. Yeah, it was good.

I just talked to him on the phone. Right. Yeah, it's interesting because it was good just talking to him on the phone so yeah it's interesting because I was reminding him of stories like when we went on tour and we did Ballarat and as soon as

he opened the doors this guy came running in with his Ventriloquist doll and sat it on the seat next to him and Ashley goes mate you're going to have to move your doll

someone's bought that seat and he goes no no I've bought two seats the doll got a seat yeah I like how you're telling that to a Ventriloquist going oh I remember that weird story and he goes no no i've bought two seats yeah the doll got a seat i like how you're telling that to a ventriloquist going oh i remember that weird story and he's probably going that sounds

perfectly fine yeah normally that's industry norm yeah that's my that's my partner he said i think it was england he does a gig for like the ventriloquist society they all come along with their dolls and stuff and sit there and... What? Yeah. Fucking weirdos. That's like doing a comedy gig for comedians. Yeah. Oh my God. Getting heckled by a little puppet and the guy's like, hey, it wasn't me.

You suck. Fucking dolls. That's a terrible gig. Yeah, fuck. You could get him on this podcast. No, I don't want to. Yeah. We got asked.

We got an email from the... They asked us twice. Yeah, well, they asked me. That's why I got them on They kept asking me And they kept being like Oh you can bring the puppets To the podcast if you want

Oh yeah that would Get an audio Yeah That would be great Did he have the puppet Out on the phone No the puppet did speak I said can I hear

When Chucky was speaking Yeah yeah Like hey shit Tell Dave to fuck off Or you know whatever Right I can't hear the lips move yeah

yeah yeah Sammy you've got your pod yeah but News Weekly it's a news satire podcast every week W-E-A-K-L-Y and also

are we doing tickets like stuff because I'm doing Fringe Perth Fringe I haven't done it in years first time back in like four or five years and tickets are on sale

right now it's called Successful Comedian Sammy Shar it's called Successful Comedian Semi-sharing what? Successful Comedian yep and I'm in Overweight Lightweight

both great titles and that'll be on sale once I design your poster it's on sale no poster yet but yeah I'm doing Perth and Adelaide when are you there?

I'm January I'm first week Feb yeah and then rolling out all through all the festivals I assume Melbourne on sale yeah Melbourne soon I'm first week Feb. And then rolling out all through all the festivals, I assume? Melbourne on sale? Yeah, Melbourne.

Soon? I'm doing Melbourne. Sydney and Brisbane I've applied for, but my partner's pregnant and we just found the due date is going to be May 1st week, which is when Sydney-Brisbane is going to happen. So I think I might have to drop out of those. Congratulations on dropping out of the festival. Dodging that bullet.

It'd be great to welcome a college frisbee into the world. You've got to get a funny name for Shah. Dynamic Lifter is what we prefer. Dynamic Lifter. Well, you're like, well, I've seen Shah. Yeah. I'm trying to think of a funny thing. Go with Shah.

Shah of Iran. Shah of Iran is what you went for. Shah of Iran is what I to think of a funny thing. Go with sharks. Shire of Iran. Shire of Iran is what you went for. Shire of Iran is what I'm thinking of. All right, guys. Thanks very much for listening, and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. See you, poofs. Bye. And they've done it again.

Certainly have. Like we were saying at the top of the show, tickets on sale now for our traditional four shows that we do in the Melbourne Comedy Festival, sometimes as part of it and sometimes as

not. This time as. We like to keep them on their toes. This year we've made a charitable contribution to the

festival, good on them for doing whatever they do, and so we're part of it. You can see our smiling visages within the Comedy

Festival guide and website when it all comes out, but we are officially part of it you can you can see our smiling visages within the comedy festival guide and website when it all comes out yep but we are officially part of something tommy we're not just out on our own we're um we're part of the community this year yeah exactly feels good yep so there's uh four saturday afternoon shows on april 1 april 8 april 15 april 22nd we're on at 4 30 in the afternoon so you can come have a few beers, grab a bit of dinner, go out and see another show afterwards. Yeah, you could see me at 7.30 p.m. Oh, well, there you go.

If you do that in the first two weeks. There you go. That's perfect timing. A little bit of nosh, a few beers, and see a little Tommy Double Pack. See my little show, Scam Artist. and see a little Tommy Double Pack. See my little show, Scam Artist. Is that a review of the show or is that the show title?

Yeah, I did realise it's a bit of a title that you always feel like if you name your show anything, you never want to give an easy one to a reviewer who's going to say it. One and a half stars, my new show. Yeah, exactly. You know what? Do you know Alexis Dubas? I don't know if I'm saying his name correctly. Another name.

British guy. So he's got a show that he's doing, a solo show called Three and a Half Stars. Right. And his poster is just like all the three and a half star reviews he's gotten over his career that are just like, yeah, you know, he's good, but whatever. I kind of love it. I mean, if you do it that explicitly, like you fully lean in, great. But if you just call your show like, you know, Shithouse or whatever,

it's like, no, here we go. But having said that, if you call your show Three and a Half Stars and then you show all the Three and a Half Stars you've got, does anyone want to go and see that? I don't know. Well, I guess it's like Three and a Half Stars isn't bad. It's just not, you know, he's trying, I don't know. I think he's got like a theme behind it.

What you're saying is correct. It's not bad. It's just not, you know, he's trying, I don't know. I think he's got like a theme behind it. Sure, what you're saying is correct. It's not bad. It's not bad, but other people's posters have all the fives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, littledumbdumbclub.com. Come and check us out at the comedy festival. Yeah, they're always wild fun and yeah, some great guests, some great little live shenanigans um be part of like us

be part of something yeah be part of our community be part of a uproarious crowd having lots of fun on a saturday afternoon having a few drinks exactly and if you do choose to come along and see my show on the same night you uh'll hear a little bit about Hot Chip. You might hopefully see a contribution from Alexis Taylor, but who knows at this point. Hope people enjoyed that story. I did notice Dave O'Neill basically on the nod halfway through it, so I rapidly lost faith in it.

So I'm sorry if you found it boring listening at home. Never great to just feel like, hey, I'm telling this as best I can and then look at one of the guests and they're just kind of like looking around the room, just look like they're about to fall asleep and be like, oh, I mean, I'm not. I mean, it's a story that doesn't have the most satisfying ending, so I'm not feeling great about landing this plane. Right. Yeah, that's interesting because, I mean, look, very inside baseball, but, you know, I think we both sort of, you know,

have an idea of each guest we have on and how they play ball or if they play ball and stuff like that. I didn't really pick Dave as one of them, but, I don't know, maybe he just didn't super relate to it or I don't know, whatever. But generally he's a bit better than that. Yeah, fair enough. I think he's probably hungry. Yeah generally he's a bit better than that. Yeah, fair enough. And look, maybe I – I think he's probably hungry.

Well, maybe – yeah, well, he did say that at the end of the episode. Well, look, maybe I am being too in my own head about it and maybe, you know, maybe he was fine. Maybe you listened back and you didn't, you know. There are certain guests, like if I've got a story coming up, I'll be like, oh, this is going to be a good story for the pod. And then you see the guests that we've got on this week and go, yeah, maybe another week.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's why I specifically was like, well, this is the week to tell this. Dave's got, you know, Dave likes bands. Dave can relate to wanting to like hobnob with people that he's interested in. I think it was just maybe the fact that he isn't as familiar with that band. You know what I mean? Well, I'm not either, but I was still into it. I think you're giving him an out that he doesn't deserve.

I mean, I'm self-conscious about anything that I tell on this and whether the people listening at home and in the room are enjoying it. So maybe this just says more about me and I'm just looking for a glint in someone's eye. You know, I'm projecting to, like, convince myself, like, oh, this person's hating it. I think, look, who cares? But I think the story's fine. I think, you know, I was enjoying it. I think, you know, you were worried about the end of it not being a big ta-da, which it sort of wasn't.

But I wasn't really worried about that. It's the journey. I thought the rest of it not being a big ta-da, which it sort of wasn't, but I wasn't really worried about that. It's the journey. I thought the rest of it was fun. But I think you're also right that fucking he tuned out. I don't know why, but he tuned out. Yeah, all right. Well, yeah, there you go, guys. A fun time with David Shannon.

All I'm saying is don't expect O'Neill to come see a solo show. That's all I'm saying. No, no, no. Yeah, I mean, I think he would have been there front and centre otherwise. Well, maybe it's glad he got it out of his system now than you watching him. Look up at the fucking spotlight or anything else in the room 15 minutes into the show. Yeah, that's true. That's very true.

And guys, look, I already feel like kind of embarrassed about being left on read by the other guy in Hot Chip. Please don't. And by Dave O'Neill't by dave o'neill and by dave yeah an irl left on red please don't uh please don't tag them or like please don't make this more humiliating for me i think just a deluge of posts isn't the way to deal with this i think that's only going to make things more mortifying well if it helps i hit up my mate tony from the avalanches oh and said, hey, you know the guy from Hot Chip, don't you? And he goes, yeah, yeah, I do.

I'm like, cool. And then I sent him a big explanation. And then he left me on read. You got it too. Wow. What is it about this story that's just boring to people? I think it's crazy. I mean, I think the element, not to just retread stuff that people

just heard but getting mistaken for him in the crowd while he was on stage i was like there is something cosmic at work here that's why this is this is bigger hey this is bigger than you and i i relayed the story i wouldn't have gone hey here's a fucking shit story can you do something with this please tony yeah yeah i just want to meet alexa go look i'm sorry for bothering you and you might not think it's that interesting because you're on the other side of it but you have to see this from my point of view yes this is i think this is bigger than you and me i'll leave you alone after this i just have to convey this to you yeah that this is a crazy thing that happened. Yeah, yeah. If that had happened to one of us and we are in the world of comedy,

we would be like, that's funny. So we have funnier things happen to us than some boring fucking rock star. You know what I mean? Well, I mean, I guess it's like, you know, the other side of it is if someone messaged you that whole story and, you know, it's literally the exact same thing. Oh, I got mistaken for you, Carl Chandler, at the front of a you know dum-dum show etc etc yeah and then you go on their page and you see a person who looks the equivalent of like alexis looking at me

compared to him right it's just someone who looks like absolute shit you know what i mean right maybe you would be like oh that's really hurt. Right. That my fans think that that's what I look like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So on that hand, I kind of get it. Is he a funny guy? I think they've got a degree of sense of humor to them a little bit. Right, okay. But he's not like riffing it up big time in between songs or anything like that.

He's not Weird Al Yankovic. No, no, no. Okay, all right. He's coming out. Oh, I heard. He's coming out. Oh, I heard. He's coming out and doing, not the parodies. Yes, just the ballads. Yeah.

Just the filler. That's it. Just the stuff that you skip while you're waiting for a Christina Aguilera song about I don't know, tomato sauce or something. That was a great examination into where both of our heads went at the same time. All right. Well, we've got to get into thanking the people who help support the show. Patreon.com slash...

Enough about complaining about people who don't get it. Here's some people who do get it. Exactly. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub. You get two bonus episodes per week. Little mini-eps with guests from the pod. There's nearly 300 there. There's heaps and heaps and heaps.

You get the whole back catalogue. Dave O'Neill just did some. Yeah. They were very fun, the ones we just did with him. He was involved in those ones. Yes. He dipped at the end of the main ep and then he came roaring back for the Patreon. Well, there was no

there was no second guess so he had to he had to he had the floor he had to pull his weight he had to talk about McHappy Day yeah

yeah yeah oh yeah that's it I think yeah that's what happened he peaked too early in that story because he heard

Hot Chip went here we go oh it's a band boring yep yep yep so yes we now have to thank some people who support us on the show

who are now going into the fuck what did we change it to brian brad brad hall it was the hall of fame yeah and then against my wishes we decided to change it, but I seem to be incapable of keeping the name of what we changed it to in my head. Fuck. No, I can't find it either. I mean, I think... Benjamin Hall. Okay.

Benjamin Hall of Fame. The Benjamin Hall of Fame. Yeah, I'm fine with that. Yeah, I'm happy with that. Let's put some more inductees into the Benjamin Hall of Fame. Thank you very much to the first cab off the rank this week. Thank you very much to first cap off the rank this week. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Matt Hamilton. Okay.

Yeah. Is this one of your favorite subscribers that has the surname of a musical? I was going to say. In front of Gary Hello Dolly? I would put money on the fact that you, Carl Chandler, will go to your grave having never seen Hamilton. Yeah, I'll have a slice. Either live or recorded.

I'll have a slice of that. Yep. I'll put a tenner on that. What are the odds? Happy to lose it. Who am I making this wager with? How am I collecting? Yeah, I watched it in lockdown.

You know, it was a fun way to kill an evening in lockdown. My girlfriend really wanted to watch it. It's fine. But I think it's one of the... It's like a lot of things. If you didn't knock it off in the lockdown, then brother, it's never happening. Yeah. If you weren't bored enough to throw it on on Disney+, then...

I never even gave it half a thought. You've missed the boat. I don't think it's happening. There are... Whenever someone says to me, haven't you watched this? I'll be like, man, there are so many things I want to see that I haven't seen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can't even fucking... I can't find time or I can't justify it in my head to sit down and go, right, I'm going to sit here for two hours and watch something that I really want to watch. That I'm not... Yeah. Let alone something I've got a passing interest or don't want to watch. It's kind of a bleak thought, isn't it?

That you will die having not consumed all the stuff that you really want to consume. Yeah. Like you will be on your deathbed being like, fuck, I never got around to reading, you know, whatever. What is it? What's worse, that or knowing that you've seen happy gilmore 20 times i mean look if it brought you if it brought you happiness still on the 20th time yeah and that's not a waste of time well it's probably a bad example because it's a good movie

and it's funny but i've seen frozen i'm the cliched dad. Oh, sure. I've seen Frozen a pretty good little whack of times now already. We were babysitting on Saturday evening and we put on, there's this Mickey Mouse show. I think I've talked about this before on Disney Plus. It's just god awful that my girlfriend's nephew likes. And he was like, oh, boy, let's- Has it got Minnie in it? It's got Minnie in it. Well, we watch a bit of Minnie Mouse.

I might have seen this one. Oh, has Minnie got her own show her own show yeah okay but there's a mini and a mickey one as well oh okay this is mickey mouse clubhouse which is just one of those absolute baby shows where there's no nothing happens there's no plot right characters just kind of walk around and sing songs there's absolutely no stakes there's no forward momentum. So we found this other one. Brutal review. Tommy Daslow. Well, you know, there's kid stuff where, I mean, stuff happens on... Three and a half stars.

Yeah, exactly. Stuff happens on Bluey, you know. There's like a drive to it, which as an adult, you can still be like, stuff's at least kind of happening here. It's a bit Coco Melon. Yeah, exactly. It's designed a little bit too young. Yeah, exactly.

Coco Melon is out of our house now. Right. Which is something. Have you ever watched Coco Melon? No. Coco Melon is clearly for like, I don't know, one to two year olds or something. Like, Blanket's too old for it now. It's bright, it's music.

Yeah. That's it. But their rhyming is, I'm pretty positive I've talked about it, but the rhyming is just fucking insane. It drives me nuts. Right. Because they rhyme words with the same word. Okay, that's annoying. And they rhyme words with the clunkiest rhyming where it's like, you know, blah, blah, blah.

We're going there today. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Then I said, yay, yay. It's like, no, no one says yay, yay. Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay. You chuck another syllable in there. Hooray. Or, you know, there's so many.

It's like, have you fucking written this on deadline? Yeah. Like, it's all, it's like, it's the musical version of someone writing a word on a wall and then going, fuck, I've only got three inches left and I've still got five letters to jam in there. Three inches left. You've not... I've added that before.

You've not thought this through, and instead of starting again, you've just fucking gone, that'll do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it's full of. Well, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is... I was complaining to a friend

who has kids about it, and he's like, yeah, but it's cool. It's like the music in it, they might be giants. They did all the music in it, and I'm like, yeah, and I fucking hate that band.

Oh, really? I don't even like their adult stuff much less them doing stuff for children but anyway we he was bored of that and so we went looking around netflix and we found this show that i'd never seen or heard of by the way i think the best of they might be giants is pretty good i i don't i don't mind there i went on in a rabbit hole uh down there uh not too long ago i don't some of the really good songs are really good but I get it just never not for me

just never just never did it for me their worst of is enough to drive you off yeah exactly yeah yeah so we found this other show on Netflix

a show for babies called Little Angel has this come into your house at all no so anyway we put this on and you know kids shows they go for like

the episodes are like eight minutes kids have short attention spans. So we got this show on and it's all that. It's just badly, bad CGI animation, shit songs, nothing's happening. And we're sort of looking at it. My girlfriend's like, okay, when we're done with this episode, it'll be bath time. And we're just sort of sitting there.

And all of a sudden it's like, I've been 45 minutes what the fuck's going on and my girlfriend pauses it the little ticker down the bottom of the screen 45 minutes into the episode another 50 minutes to go each episode of this show for babies is like an hour and 20 minutes long it's like this is longer than a movie that's on an episode no i i swear to god look like this is longer than a movie. That's on an episode. No, I swear to God, look it up. It's on what? It's on Netflix. I'm looking it up.

Because we were sitting there going like, you know, it's like you're saying the Coco Mel and they're not putting enough work into the lyrics. This is the opposite. These guys are making, it's like, guys, the episode only needs to go, this one episode that you've made, that's a whole series.

Like, chop this up and you're done. All right, Little Angel. Little Angel. Give it a squeeze. All right. Give it a big shout out. And I will say... I'm putting this in the algorithm so Blanket could watch this tonight.

Well, I will say this kid and your child are roughly the same age. Fuck, you're right. And he enjoyed it. So maybe Blanket will be into it. Fuck you're right. And he enjoyed it. So maybe Blanket will be into it. 75 minutes. Yeah. What's going on? One episode.

Oh, there's only one episode. No, no, no. Each episode. Episode one. Little Angel. Episode one. Name of episode one. Little Angel.

Okay. Alright. Don't mind that. God. Self-titled album. Yeah. Title track also the name of the band. Yeah.

Yeah. How many eps are there? Three. And they're all 75 minutes? Yeah, look at that. Three episodes. I mean, that is so much fucking content that they've pumped out for this show. That is so much work that they've made for themselves.

Well, I'll tell you what. Now that I've looked that up, we've got a little ipad uh for blanket congrats and that'll um that now that i've looked that up that'll jump up on the front page she'll be watching that very soon well yeah come back in here next week and uh let us know blankets review of uh little angel she's because this kid who was here he was i i he was into it. He was enjoying it. I haven't been watching what she's been watching lately. But I know that she's writing to Alvin and the Chipmunks. Oh, really?

Like the films? No, like whatever the new version is. Oh, they made like a new series of it? Yeah, there must be a reboot. In fact, it's such a new reboot. It's called Alvin. Alvin with three N's. Alvin and then three exclamation marks.

Oh, okay. Alvin and the chipmunks. Right. Yeah. So the catchphrase is now the title of the show. Yes. That's bizarre. Yes.

It is funny when you see the stuff that's, you know, that's from so long ago. And they're just like, you know what? You know what kids of today are finally ready for? Rocky and Bullwinkle. Yeah. We're bringing them back. They're cool now. Yeah.

They both wear sunglasses. Yep. And they're both fucking got, I don't know, Game Boys or something. There is a, yeah, there's a relatively recent Rocky and Bullwinkle series that I caught a bit of in a hotel room after a show. I was like, you know,

it's actually pretty good. Yeah. It's pretty funny. Something for the parents and something for the kids. There you go. Well, thanks,

oh, good Lord, Matt Hamilton. Yes, thanks Matt Hamilton. Thanks for everything you inspired there. Matt Hamilton,

the musical. I hope you're just as... I've spent a lot more time on you than I have on the musical. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Chris Page. Page Boy. Yes, the Page Boy. Is that the nickname? A real Page Turner.

Calling him Turner. Turnsy. It's a stretch. Page turner. Yeah, what is a good stretch for that, for Chris Page? Dog ear. Dog ear. Dog ear is good.

Dog ear. You a dog earer with a book? It took me a long time, but I... Yeah, look, depends. If I like the book, if I have respect for the book, I won't. But if it's a bit of a disposable book, if I'm just using it for research or something. Yeah, sure.

I'm doing it for... I love getting a new recipe book. If it's like a pulp novel. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No. I love doing it with a recipe book. Get a new recipe book, sit down, go through all the recipes that look like something I want to make. Doggy of that page.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I do find it weird when you see someone with a novel and they're just like, God, I can't wait to come back and read that sentence again. Right. I find that interesting. But they're not going back to read that. They're going back to where they stopped reading, aren't they? Well, I know some people do it as like a, oh, I'm, you know,

if you're like, if you're writing a thesis on something, a text and you're like, oh, I want to be able to remember where this bit is. Yeah, well, that makes more sense than I thought you, the way you put it is like, oh, I'm reading this novel. Oh, that was a good sentence. I'm coming back to read that sentence. I feel like some people do that. If they're like, if they like, if it's a book that's really speaking to them and it's about you know it's about life or it's you know it's

it's really communicating something that they're really getting into they're like oh you know what that's so there's so much wisdom in that i really want to come back and like reflect on that again yeah i can heard of that happening yeah right so you're you're when you're dog-earing you're doing like it's strictly for bookmarking purposes. Yes. That's all I've heard of it for. Yeah, right. Yeah.

It's just, that's where I was reading. Like, I thought that's, you know, that's someone that can't afford a bookmark. The thing that they give away for free at every bookstore. Yes. You remember two, oh, fuck. Was it two? When was it? When we recorded the last one of these, I thought I was going to have a package rock up.

A week ago? I still haven't gotten it. Oh. Yeah. Oh. You know what I'm going to do when I get home? Look, I'm really hoping that Blanket doesn't listen to this episode, but I bought her a bike, and I have to, and it's like, here's the bike. Assemble it yourself.

Oh, you've got to make it, yeah. And then I just ring straight up and go, is there any way that I don't have to do that and they're like oh you have to bring it in on the day that the bike man's here i'm like i'm absolutely doing that you don't reckon you could do it i don't want to do it oh why not because there was this i you can download the instructions in the instructions once i hit 20 pages i was like nah and then i rang up and went can i not do this and they go go, it'll cost you $15. I'm like, absolutely. Instead of reading 20 plus pages of instructions, fuck that.

Man, I'll do it for you. Really? Yeah. Like Ikea furniture. Really? Building a thing that's just like here. Yeah, fucking love. The feeling of satisfaction of like, this was all just shit in a box and now it's an actual thing that exists in front of me.

The best. I love it. I have that that with other things but not with this stuff i feel like there's a there's a barrier there where i'm like no i feel like i would have a fucking great day building this bike oh i get as soon as there's one problem i'm like this is beyond me yeah okay as soon as i bring it genuinely bring it around as soon as What were they going to charge you? $15? $15. I'll do it for $25. And you're further away. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. No, seriously, if you haven't gotten round to it by next time we're doing one of these, bring it round. If I fuck up this week, because I know the guy only comes in once a week, which I just want to... Look, it's Kmart, right? And I do find it funny. I had the conversation with the guy that came up he's like it's like yeah we have a guy we have a guy that comes around i'm shocked that came out have a guy yeah yeah i'm like i've never heard of this

the only reason i knew about it was when i went to buy the bike online there was a review for it i looked in the reviews which i rarely do these i i'm obsessed with these people who bother to like on the big w website yeah but review like a packet of balloons yes it's crazy to me but it paid off because the guy because i was like i'm i'm like okay this is what's gonna have to happen i'm gonna have to put it together and then there's a review going yeah i couldn't figure out how to fucking put this bike together so then i rang up a kmart shop and they said yeah come in and they charged me a little bit and that was it i'm like great information ring up kmart i read a review where

it said you put the bike together and they're like yep i'm like cool so then all i have to do is like buy the bike and you'll put it together they're like nah that's an online deal so i'm like okay so i'm getting that bike shipped from your store to my house. And then taking it back. And then I have to take it back. Right. That's correct. Okay, I fucking guess I'll do it.

Yeah, man, bring it around here next week. Really? I'm serious. Really? I'll be fresh from the Meredith Music Festival. I can't think of anything better to do when I'm coming down out of my mind than putting together a child's bike. Yeah. No, but seriously.

But also, on the flip side of that, when my child fractures her skull coming off a child's bike yeah but seriously i i but also on the flip side of that when my child fractures her skull coming off a fucking broken bike because someone someone off their fucking head yeah has put together a bike yeah i'm gonna be like yeah i've got to cop the blame for that that's good content for the show i injured your kid great it's like a funny it's like a funny ongoing thing no No, I'm serious. Yeah, I will build this bike. Wow. Okay.

All right. Well, I'll see how I go. I'll see how I go. All right. Well, thanks, Paige Turner. Thanks, Paige Turner. Thanks, Chrissy. Boy, there are some fucking great ones being inspired today.

Yeah, yeah. We've found a new Netflix show. Yeah. I'm building a bike. High stakes for the next however many of these we today. Yeah, yeah. We've found a new Netflix show. Yeah. I'm building a bike. High stakes for the next however many of these we read. Yeah. I mean, I don't know whether you've inspired great comedy, but you've inspired things to happen. Yeah.

Yeah. Topics of conversation. Yeah. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Tom Bruliera. B-R-U-G-L-I-E-R-A. Brugliera. Yeah, I guess. Brugliera, I reckon.

Brugliera. Yes? It can't be Brugliera. Well, I was really hoping that this name would be something that I could segue into this with. But there's no hope of that. Thanks for everyone who came to my exhibition. Okay, right. Well, that's a, you know, I'm interpreting that.

Yep. In a, you know, other people could interpret that in a different pronunciation from what I have. Just like art. Yeah, exactly. that in a different pronunciation from what i have just like art yeah exactly yeah and and you know one could look at that name and pronounce it as thanks for thanks everyone who came to my exhibition opening last night okay right i'm pretty sure i've mispronounced it so yeah that's just as bad as what i've done yeah yeah true still on if you're in melbourne until this Sunday, the 12th? Sunday, the 12th of December? Let's find out.

No, the 11th. On until this Sunday, the 11th of December. Go and check it out. Would you say Tom Brulieria is invited? Would you go as far as that? He might have even been already for all I know. But it's there. You can go check it out.

And if you're in another part of the world, you can buy some of the pieces online from B-Side's website. If you Google B-Side Gallery, I'm on their little shop page now. Got some screen prints and all that sort of stuff for sale. But, yeah, go in and check it out if you're in town. And thank you to everyone who's sent me nice things about it already. As far as I know, Bruyere not in the mix. But that's not to say he didn't go.

He might just not want to be bothering me. I am looking up his Facebook page just to see if there's any chance that he's a Melbourneite. He's taken my,

one of my pieces and made it his profile picture. The caption is like, I made this. Yeah, oh, fuck. How would you feel about that?

He's been there, he's got, he's bought one of the pieces and he's just claimed ownership of it yeah i guess so yeah i mean there's a whole thing with like people emulating video games where they just like download it for free and then play it technically you are allowed that is legal if you own a copy of the game already because it's like well you've got this you're just just using a different version of it. You've paid for it in the past, so you own the license. And so every site that has those things for download, they're like, now we trust you.

We trust you to only be doing this if you actually own the game. And just going on like, yeah, no worries. I own 800 video games. I'm just going to download all of these as a backup just in case is it up there with those people that um click on the on the button that says are you definitely over 18 and accessing this site yes yeah and up there with people that buy tickets to things and say have you got a concession card so you can pay eight dollars less yes that's me i'm still i know people that do that that are just like they never when does anyone ever check

no but i'm still too cowardly to do it because i feel like i have bad luck with stuff like that and that the moment i do that i just would get a random thing where the person's like, can I see your concession card, please? I reckon I'm saying, in my opinion, go for it, because anyone who offers a concession card price is a fucking idiot. Really? There's no way to regulate it. Yeah, yeah. So if you're offering it, that's on you.

Yep. I reckon. That's very true. I mean, it is becoming rarer and rarer. I guess the movies, the movies is probably the main one concerts and stuff are just like flat fee yeah um it really is just the movies maybe like plays and stuff i get plays like would have a concession price those are kind of it i had a last week at comedy at spleen on monday nights um i had someone come in and do a bit of like,

oh, yeah, I want to get a ticket on the door. And I'm like, oh, it's sold out. Oh, I really want to get in. Cool. Well, it can't bend physics. You can hang around and see if someone doesn't turn up or whatever. Yep. Right.

Well, I really want to get in. Well, all I can say is the same thing to you, mate, over and it's full everyone else bought a ticket a week ago you've turned up a minute into the show and gone why can't i get what i want yep and then i'm like look just hang around and maybe there'll be someone that doesn't turn up and then within 20 seconds went anyway what's the i'm a student what's the concession card price i'm like man, you can't even get a fucking ticket at the moment. It doesn't matter what the price is. You can't even pay full price. You should be on your hands and knees going, can I pay double?

You're going, can I pay less? Yeah, that's great. Fucking hell. I love that mentality. Getting back to Tom Bruliera, if that is your real name, I've done a bit of research by that. I've looked him up on Facebook and not a lot on his Facebook page.

He's got it on private, I assume. Either that or he's got the world's most boring Facebook page. Yeah. Yeah. There's only two pictures you can access. It is a bit of a work of art, what he's done here. Okay. Yeah.

I'll show you what they are. It's Tom at the Leaning Tower of Pisa, like, putting his finger up like he's keeping it up. Nice, yep. Like, it's leaning over, but he's got his finger up against it like he's keeping it up. Yep. He might actually be keeping it up. Oh, he could be.

Sorry. Sorry to steal his valent like that. And the second picture, so his name is Tom, right? So he's got a picture of a Coke. You know, you get the personalized Cokes. Oh, and they have... With the Tom on the name.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I quite like where... It's like, if you've got my name, I think it's worth going, oh, cool, they made a car. But if you've got one of the most base-level fucking names in history, to go, oh, they finally made something for me,

the rare name of Tom. I think... I understand what you're saying but in my eyes the rarity of the name doesn't change anything right about about how base level it is to make your profile picture a picture of a bottle of coke yeah but it's also from it's from 10 years ago it was a different time you're it's also from 10 years ago. It was a different time. You're right. It's from 10 years ago. And also what I like is from 10 years ago, there's no likes.

There's just one comment from his mate Hamish that says, nice. Nice work, Tom. You found a Coke with your name on it. I got a feeling Tom isn't checking out the art exhibition. Well, he's been to Pisa. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. That's true.

I have an exhibit there, though. Tom, if you can please go to Tommy Dasso's art exhibition, to your namesake's exhibition. Get a photo of you propping up one of these pieces of art. Propping up one of the paintings. Yeah. Yes. That would be good. Just make one of these paintings on the wall crooked

and then put your finger on it like you're holding it up. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's great. That would be good. That's great. And the next exhibition I do, big print of that photo as one of the pieces. As on the side of a bottle of Coke. Yeah.

Oh, my God, heaven. Well, thanks, Tom. Fucking hell. That's good. That's all good stuff. Yeah, thanks, Tom. All right. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Ben Amodio.

Ben Amodio. A-M-O-D-I-O. Okay. This ain't my first Amodio. Yep. It's a strange one, isn't it? It kind of sounds like you're about to say emoji. It sounds like a few different things.

Yeah, yeah. Emodium. Yes. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Amodio. It feels like he must have been on the socials. It sounds familiar to me.

I've seen this name many, many times. He's a repeat offender on the socials, dare I say. Oh. What do you got? Yeah, I'm looking him up now. He's in the offender on the socials, dare I say. Oh. What have you got? Yeah, I'm looking him up now. He's in the Millionaires group. He's interacted a lot, I reckon. Our last man, he was in Pisa,

and his picture up the top of his Facebook page, this fellow's in a very different little part of the world that's still very a shrine to art in the bloody MCG, isn't he? Oh, my God. The Coliseum. The Melbourne Cricket Ground. So he might be more of a chance of going to your exhibition, actually. Yep.

Even though it says he went to Toronto High School. Wow. All right. So do you So he's... Do you think he's immigrated here from Canada or that he... Is that a bit of a tourism shot? Lived abroad for a bit. Born here and then did school over in the States.

Parents shipped him off to one of those famous Degrassi high schools. He sent him to rap school with Drake over in Toronto and, uh, didn't quite, didn't quite work out. No. So. Because now he's a podcast fan. Yes. About as far away as you can get from being Drake.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I reckon he did a bit of, uh, you know, one of those ones where it's like, he's been a bad boy.

You have to go to, you have to go to one of the blandest, most boring sounding ideas for a city. Toronto. There is Toronto. Hey, how did you go last week trying to get in under the clock to get a little parma? Oh, I did it. I did it Indiana Jones style. I beat the boulder.

I slid under that shifting fucking granite wall. It was heading towards the ground. I slid under and I got that half a palmer. Fuck yeah. I reckon, and we're doing good time today. We're doing very good time. Yeah. I reckon I'm in for a good game today.

Much earlier start today than last week. Not a full lap before, just a couple of bonuses. That's it. No stress. No stress about the back end of the day yep getting up this morning yep

yep what? there was I mean there was no stress about like this being a mammoth session that blows out that all of a sudden

we're wrapping up at 4pm some of these days that we do it's an episode it's a talking dum-dum and it's a couple of bonuses

yep and it's and there's a bit of-dum, and it's a couple of bonuses. And there's a bit of chatting in between. It turns into a long day of talking. I mean, yeah, that I'm fine. Because we do days like that with Filthy Casuals, the other pod I do. That I can handle. But it's like when someone suggests or just it ends up happening that it's like, let's start this day at 11 a.m.

It's like, well, when am I eating? That's my big concern. Don't mind doing a huge block of chat. If we start early, out in time for lunch around 1, 1.30 at the latest. Or we start at, you know, 2 o'clock, get a little lunch on the way. That's fine. But it's right in the middle of the day and I'm just like, what am I doing here?

Getting a burger at 10 a.m. Well, that was it. I got a bit of insurance on the way here. Nice. I've got a sausage egg McMuffin. Fuck yeah. From where? I got a sausage... Oh, right.

I missed the Mac bit. Yeah. God. Yeah. But still, where from? McDonald's. There are places that straight up will just go, here's our version of the McMuffin.

Oh, really? I feel like that's... I feel like they're out there. They know what they're doing. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I would like that. I'd like it if KFC did that. Oh, yeah. There was a shop I was going to.

The shop I do enjoy going to still. It's in, where is it? Where would you call it? Is it Richmond? Maybe it's Abbotsford, technically. It's in Smith Street. It's a chicken shop, but they do a big bunch of different burgers.

And for the first bunch of times, I would go in there and go, do you have beef burgers today? And they're like, no, we don't have them today. And it wasn't until like ages into it where I was like, do you ever have beef burgers? And they're like, no. Okay.

They just gave me the information like they'd run out of beef for quite a while. And then it was like, no, the jig's up. We don't stock that at all. But then I understand it because it's like the response being like, we never have beef burgers. It's like, that's such an aggressive reply. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, the flip side to that is if you don't say that,

you get some dumb cunt continuing to come in looking for beef burgers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. Oh, not today. That's true. And, you know, today, brackets, or any other day. Yeah. Yeah.

I thought the end of the story was going to be, you went in there once and they're like, you know what? We started doing them just for you. Oh, no. You came in and asked enough. We've been walking down to Woolies and getting those little patties. No.

No. It's a business that's a tie. I think it's a marriage or at the very least it's a relationship. It's called D-Mac Burger in Collingwood. Go if you're in the area. It's very nice. And I go in there and in lockdown I would do my run from my house to there via a certain way would be like five kilometres.

Oh, is this DMAC on Victoria Street? Yes. Is that what I said or did i say smith i think you said smith and that's definitely yeah that's abbotsford yes sorry yeah victoria so um i think yeah it could still be richmond i don't know i might be richmond maybe not um but that's where i'd run i'd run 5k and then i'd finish there and i'd reward myself yep i get a drink or something to eat or whatever it was and um so every time i go in there i was like like oh how was the run yeah yeah yeah so you've got a rapport going yeah so you thought you might be you think there'd be a bit more uh transparency about the beef burger issue yeah yeah yeah but at the very least now

they're like they they judge me on if i if i get something to eat and a drink they go oh the rum was really good was it i'm like yeah yeah yeah i'm rewarding myself yeah if i just get a drink they're like rum was okay today was it yeah yeah there's a thai thai female and a i think chinese man okay and so that i have a better relationship with the thai female obviously yeah because uh i come in with like a Chang shirt or a hat on or something. They go, ah, Thailand. I'm like, yes. Yep.

Just like you. And then you pull out your iPhone and the Chinese guy's like, ah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I do the eyes. Yeah, okay. All right. You know what? We will cook you a beef burger.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get it. Yeah. You're one of us. Yeah. But it's good. Go? We will cook you a beef burger. You get it. You're one of us. Yeah. But it's good. Go down there. It's a good shop. I've heard good things.

Never gotten around to it going there. Yeah. It's nice. Well, thanks. Benamodio. Benamodio. Yep. Thanks very much.

Thanks for your help. Well, look. It's that time of the show where we do one more sometimes, and this is one of those times. Yep. Let's do a… I mean, we're making good time. We're getting, you know, we're smack dab in lunchtime.

Well, that's what I'm saying. It's like we could do more. Ordinarily, we would, but then we're going into overtime. Well, look… It seems a shame to, like, you shame to waste this good thing we've got. If I go now, there's plenty of time if I get to that pub now and order like five half-palmers. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I could really treat myself to that. Two and a half-palmers. Yeah. Oh, okay. I guess that works out. Two and a half total-palmers. That would be good if I went in there and got five half-palmers today. Yeah.

But you just keep – your brain's resetting every time. You're like, well, it's a half. It's not that bad for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not being too naughty. Yeah. But you're on your tenth one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sweating. I don't want a full pizza. I only want six slices. Well, that's how we cut it. Yeah. That's... Yeah. There's only four slices on a pizza.

You're eating a pizza and a half. Exactly. No, no, no, no. Six slices. Yeah. So, let's do number five right now. Yep. Just.

Oh, God. Any guesses as to what it could be this week or any, some could say any help. Yeah. I mean, if I was the UTA, I know what I'd spit up. Oh, any hints? I mean, any guesses? Do you want me to just say it? Do you mean, do you want to guess?

Try and guess what I've got in front of me right here. Sure. Okay. Would it be India? You got it right. It's India comedy. Well done, Tommy. No, I would have thought beef burger comedy.

That's beef burger comedy. We have them today. We have them today. Okay. We have beef burger comedy today. We finally got one. That's great. You got it.

Wow, that's weird how you got that right. Well done, Tommy. That's a fucking... A thousand monkeys working on a thousand typewriters. All right. Thanks, guys. LittleDumbDumbClub.com. Get your tickets to our shows next year.

Thanks very much for listening, and we will see you next time. See you, mates.