The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 640 - Lawrence Mooney & Sam Pang

Episode Date: January 11, 2023

We've hit the Nepean and set up next to a loud fridge for a barnstormer of an episode with LAWRENCE MOONEY and SAM PANG! We hear all about Mooney's current mini tour of the Peninsula, his run-ins with various different fans, and the reviews of his latest book! Plus, Tommy's seen a very out-of-place character down the street in Mornington, Chandler's had an eventful Christmas day, and Pang's daring Mooney to keep out of the papers in 2023. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a great new episode with guests Lawrence Mooney and Sam Pang. If you would like to see us live, we have a number of dates coming up very, very soon. We are in Adelaide, Saturday, March the 11th at the Rhino Room. Huge show with guests from a certain festival that might be on. That's right. In the afternoon, it's on at 2.30, so you can get in there and get it all over and done with and then go out and live your life. Cancel your dentist appointment. And then coming up in April, we've got a month of Saturdays.

What have we got? The 1st, 8th, 15th and 22nd? That sounds good. That sounds about right. Can we announce this? Oh, we can. We can. Can you?

Because I still can't remember the name. Morris House. That's right. I think I said this on another episode. It was the name of a house at my school. Oh. So it's firmly implanted in my head. Instead of the European Beer Cafe, it's now called Morris House as of March or April next year.

Very... Yeah. Maybe we'll talk about it more at the back end of the episode. Yeah. But hey, tickets to all of those. LittleDumbDumbumbclub.com. Get on there. Get your tickets.

You can also sign up to the Patreon where you get bonus episodes every week and get your name potentially read out at the end of it. It could be this episode. Well, it couldn't be this episode if you haven't signed up yet, but we'll find out. We'll talk to you. Do it quick. Do it quick right now in the next hour,

and we will talk to you more at the end of this great new episode with guests lawrence moody and sam pang hey mates welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week thank you very much for joining us my name is tommy dasol and with me as always the other half of the program carl chandler and'day, Dickhead. And joining us today, two very special guests. Please welcome back onto the show, Lawrence Mooney and Sam Peng. Oh, my goodness. Yes. Well, it's very nice to be back.

I can't remember the last time. I used to, once upon a time, I'd come on to the Little Dum Dum Club and I'd go back catalogue. This is who I was on with. Yeah. This is what I did. Strong start. But it has been such a long time. Yeah.

And also, you've had way better things to do that you've erased your history from this podcast well you know I went to court yeah

when you say way better things more pressing issues right right right for the first time I've ever been on with this team

Sam Payne absolutely yeah I got told you used to do a lot of podcasts and then when did you stop doing them?

Well, it all dropped off. It all... The phone stops ringing, Sam. For podcasts? Wow. Yeah, once people get too famous, we just stop trying to get them. Nothing in it for us.

Jeez, how bad off are you when podcasts don't want you? I know. When the podcast phone stops ringing, you've got to say, what? It is me. Finally, I realise it's me. The last one I did was an esteemed podcast for you, 500th episode. You did too, that's right. You did one six months ago.

You keep saying it's been ages. It wasn't six months ago. No, you did one with Limo. Limo, yes. You did Limo since. Yeah, very forgettable. Forgettable. Well, that's it.

The podcast phone is stopping ringing after that diss. Where did we do that? We did it at the Basement Comedy Club. Another... I maybe thought at the time it was a bit too echoey. Boy, howdy. Those were the salad days. We're literally in a fridge

because we're in a fridge we're in we're in a we're in a no what are we in a souvenir shop we're in it's in the it's the bottle shop of the san andrews brewery yeah but that gentle hum you can hear is the is the freezer yeah which where all the beers are stuck which the guy came in and said do you want us to turn the fridges off for your podcast i I'm like, sure, if you want to fuck your whole... Kiss. That would be power. Well, we're here because I was doing a comedy show today. Yes. And we're in a very salubrious part of Victoria, I guess we say.

St. Andrews. St. Andrews. Playground of the rich and famous. Absolutely. Deep on the Mornington Peninsula. And so they have a comedy show once a month during the summer. Yep. Organised by the great Evan Hocking and Johnny Katz.

And so that's why I demanded for the podcast to be here. And so I brought you all down the peninsula. Slightly different location. Like you said, last time you were on the Basement Comedy Club, where we were hosted by a pair of mice, I believe. But now we're in a place that has specific car parks out the front to charge Porsches. So slightly different to the basement comedy club. They might be putting them in with the Renaults.

You don't know that. Yeah. If you've got an electric car, you can have it charged here at a brewery. Yeah. Mate, beer drinking has changed, hasn't it? Are you going to tell everyone how the gig went? Because it was an outdoor event.

How did they traditionally go? They won't need to put on a new roof because they didn't have one. No, it was pretty good. These are my people down here, aging and white. And so I can speak to them in language that they understand. Are you getting it? Do you know what these people are sick of, Sam? What?

They're sick of political craziness. Well, it's gone mad. I don't know if you've heard. It has gone crazy. And so they want to go back to a time when you could call. When you could say something's gone mad instead of saying something has a mental illness. But even the expression caller

is now racist. So you've got to find another gardening implement. Oh, really? Yes. Okay, and what's the one that you go for? A rake. Right. We'll call a rake a rake. It sounds worse. It sounds so bad coming out.

It sounds like, not too sure about that. Call a hoe a hoe? I don't know. By sounds so bad coming out. It sounds like, not too sure about that. Call a ho a ho. I don't know. By the way, you've had a little insight as to why I don't do many podcasts considering the amount of heavy lifting you're doing early. Have you noticed that? Yeah, but he...

I just sit back. I don't have to do anything. Sam said, should we plan for two and a half days? Yeah. And I said, come on, mate, just improv. And he was like, I can't. He could be on the pod with Ross Noble and Noble would get to the end and go, can you fucking edit some of me into it?

So I wouldn't worry too much. No, he wouldn't say that. He'd say, can you fucking edit some of me into it with me yoghurt and me velvet dachshund? Yeah, this is worth the travel time to get here to do this. Hi. I met you after the gig because I got to meet two other senior Moonies. Oh. I met the siblings.

Oh, yeah, the brothers. Yeah, I know the family pretty well. Let's head to the cult, the Moonies. Yeah. They're like the Corleone family, aren't they, really? You would be Fredo. Right. I have Fredo.

Yes. They are about to row me out into the middle of the lake and waste me. I know it was you. I know it was you, Lorenzo. It is odd to see someone related to someone you know so well and then just see the 10% wrong version of the person you know. You see, it's like the brothers are like the Aldi-Lawrence Mooney. It's just a bit off. It's like, yeah, you're nearly Lawrence. There is, you know like you see it's like the brothers are like the aldi lawrence mooney it's just a bit off it's like yeah you're nearly lawrence they do there is you know similarities

yeah i think they someone's calling by the way do you want to get that yeah can you hear that someone's one of those old overseas calls yes there's a long time between rings and then you expect that... Hello? Someone's ringing... Is that you, Ross? Hello? Someone's ringing from their chalet. I'm in me tank.

He does own a tank, doesn't he? Yeah. Someone's ringing from their chalet to see if their Porsche's charged, I think. I think that's what I mean. Or if they want to pick up their jam from the bottle shop. Fucking hell. But also, posh voices have now changed. If someone was ringing to see if their Porsche's charged, it's like,

G'day, mate. Is the Porsche full of juice yet? Yeah, that's what you got out there. They're your people today, aren't they? Yeah. He's saying you remember a time when owning a Porsche meant something. Yeah, yeah. That's what he's saying.

People who deserve Porsches. Once upon a time, people who owned Porsches spoke properly. But now it seems like the poor can own them too. Sad times, eh? We live in a time where, you know, none of those people have ever suffered any hardship. No one's been to war. That's why they're just so demanding.

It's like, I'll just chime in with my story about a fucking Cavoodle. It's like, we're not talking about that. Is that during your show? Is that what they were doing tonight? No, during Rosie's spot, but... Well, I got here just as the gig had finished and a guy came up to you and opened by saying, I just got in trouble in the toilet because of you.

And it's like, I can't wait to hear how this is Moon's fault. The amount of times I've heard that about Moon, fucking hell, yeah. What really offends me is people using the toilet as a toilet. Yeah. It does stink in there, you're right. As I was walking in, there were some people who were saying... We've got some customers.

Hey, guys. Hey, guys, we're doing a podcast. So we're... Sorry. For some reason, you can't come in here because we're talking. We just cost the brewery some sales just then. As I was walking in... Because he looked like a real pale ale guy.

Yeah, he looked like an onion jam guy. He had the colour on his linen shirt, really. They do sell onion jam. They've got onion jam over there. In the bottle shop. By the way, as I was walking in, two people were coming out, By the way, as I was walking in, two people were coming out, and they said, tell Lawrence he didn't do his brown crayon bit.

Oh, right. And I'm going, well, what the – why would I say that? What do you want me to do? Didn't you do your entire catalogue tonight? In my career, I'm Neil Diamond. Yeah, they want crunchy granola sweets. They don't want my new Diamond. Yeah, they want Crunchy Granola Sweets. They don't want my new gear. Yeah, yeah.

You know, I saw Neil Diamond. Here today? I reckon you could have. He was working behind the jump. He didn't know he was Neil Diamond. No, he didn't know he was there. He thinks he's Barry Quartz now. He did Crunchy Granola.

He sang it four times. Oh! Four times in one night. He closed with it and then... He sang it four times. Oh. Four times in one night. Open with it, close with it, and then... Well, it's like, you like that song, let's do it again. He sang it four times. Great. Opening bars, please, Sam. Come on, you're musical.

We don't have the rights for that. Yeah. I can't even remember. So you're on a tour of the peninsula at the moment. So you did a gig that I organised in Mornington. When you say tour of the peninsula, no, I'm holidaying down here with my family. Sorry, yes. But you did two gigs.

I tried to make it sound good. Yeah, okay. I'm on a lightning tour of the peninsula. Yeah. Two spots. Since I've been down here, I've done two spots. A man's been hit by a jet ski and airlifted from right next to our house. Is this in the gig?

No, this is just what's happened over the summer. He was distracted. He was thinking about that great Lawrence Mooney song the night before. He didn't do the brown crayon bit. It's not worth it anymore. I'm crashing my jet ski. When you're local, you can do things like,

does every fuckwit own a jet ski? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah, it's a little bit easier when you're summer holidaying next to your gig. Comedy is beautiful. Literally at that gig the other night, Danny McGinley was like, what's the next suburb? I said, I think it's Rosebud.

Then he gets up there and goes, hey, how come everyone in Rosebud is a cunt? Boom, everyone's like, oh my God, this is... Absolutely insane. How does he do it? How does he keep on top of current affairs like that? I was a bit more specific.

I got up in Mornington and I said, I got in a time machine recently and went back to the Mooraduck timber and hardware store and they're just like, yes. They did get a big pie. You have been there.

Yeah, yeah. I didn't know the reference, but I laughed. I thought it was good. He's one of us. I thought it was good. I saw something down the street today in Mornington

that I wouldn't have picked as a trope of the area. I was having lunch and I was with my girlfriend and our dog and there was like a little dog at the table next to us who was kind of picking a fight with my dog and we're sort of not paying too much attention to the owners but trying to sort of settle our dog down

and the the table was uh two guy and a girl both bit younger and then like older lady they get up to leave they pay and they walk off and i notice on the guy ankle bracelet oh nice how's that i'm like on house arrest. Yeah. Just ducking out, you know, being pulled into court and then having to be like, but your honour, have you had the margarita at 400 Gradi? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fucking sensational.

Okay. It's got to be white collar down here. What's going on down here? By the look of the guy, why ankle bracelet? What's the crime? Oh, that's great. Car theft. Really?

No, you don't get an ankle bracelet. You don't get an ankle bracelet for car theft. What do you get it for? Pedo or was it Prince Andrew? Or violent crime and you're out on parole but you need

to... Can you not get it for white colour or anything? Is there a specific... No, if you're white colour if you've embezzled because you work for the Commonwealth Bank or GIO or whatever, you're not likely to do that again down at the fucking deli. Right. But if you're an abscond risk, so if you're on bail maybe, but also if you're out on parole and you're a violent criminal or a sexual offender, I would say. Right.

Do you look like either of those? Full disclosure. You never can tell. Full disclosure, I've never seen an ankle bracelet. Yeah. Okay. And also, if you had one, why is he wearing shorts? Yes.

No, it's hot. But you can cover that up. Very good question. Can you put your sock over the top? Yeah. Football socks. Pull them right up. I mean, that's the thing.

Yeah. What you're proposing, because we love a new game. And ankle, hang on, what was he wearing? He wasn't wearing thongs, was he? Thongs, yeah. Thongs, ankle bracelet and thongs. Which I kind of respect.

It's like, you're right, we're joking, but it's like 37 degree day just being like, nah, you know what? I'll risk it. I'm going to fucking die if I'm wearing long pants.

Can you go for a swim in an ankle bracelet? Can you do that? Maybe. If it short circuits it, then we've been pretty short-sighted there. I think we need to call someone. Yeah.

But what you'll propose, we love a new game on this show, and I love this as a game show, photo of someone who's wearing an ankle bracelet comes up, and you have to guess. What's their crime?

Petal or violent crime. Yeah, right. And to answer your question, violent crime. Violent crime? Violent crime, I reckon. Right. Yeah.

So I hope he's not listening. Which everyone listening and as part of this podcast today goes, oh, okay, good. Yeah. It's the preferred thing. I would say there's a bunch of people that listen to this show going, yelling into the podcast, mate, I've got one right now.

I'll tell you all fucking all about it. Why don't you have the phone number? Yeah. Look, they've got my number. They've got my number. 13 11 14. They've got my number. They've got my number. 13 11 14. They've got my number. That's lifeline.

Yeah, yeah. Give us a call if you've currently got an ankle bracelet on. Tell us where you are. And you'd like to become part of the pedophiles. Yeah. There you go. Let's open them up. Is your name Peter?

And he can become part of the pedophile. Man, do you know this? I've said this on the show, but do you know this? I said this out loud at a live show once, and this was five years ago. The last time you performed live. Yes, thank you. I did so well, that's why I haven't performed since. That really hurt you.

That hurt him, didn't it? I said this out loud. I said this out loud. I have a school friend who listens to this show i said his name out loud at the show and everyone was like everyone started laughing and i'm like what and they go did you listen to what you just said and i went what i said my friend's name peter field and they go your friend's name is peter field i'm like oh my, I went through 12 years of school with him and we didn't know my friend's name was Peterfield. That's a big miss from you.

Peter's not here today, but I'm feeling a bit Peterfield here. I get it though. Like if you're 13, you know, if you're in the hitting zone of the pedo, it is weird to be making pedo jokes about your friend. Do you know what I mean? No. I understand it not registering. No.

We were never in the hitting zone of the pedo because it hadn't even become a word when I was at school. Oh, really? In the mid-80s, really. Derren Hinch. You just called it what we do on Tuesday. That was church. It's religious studies.

There'd be a chat about a particular teacher. Right. Being a bit of a, you know, whatever the word was. Peterfield. Yeah. But yeah, we didn't know. Yeah. And, you know, old Mr Mason who had swings in his front garden.

Oh, really? But no swings. Those were the old owners. But no kids. They lost heaps to get rid of. He built these big wooden platforms around the gum trees, and you could swing off, and he made the seats out of those big ceramic insulators on high-tension wires.

He'd worked for the SEC. Right. And he just sat on the front porch, and kids were swinging in the swings. And my mum and dad would go, you can go around to Mr. Mason Mason's but don't go inside. So I was like, we all know he's a massive pedo. But not outdoors.

Let him try it in public. And one day I was like busting out of the toilet and I was like, Mr Mason, can I go to the toilet? Oh my god. Oh yeah. Oh yes you can. Open wide. I made a mess of that yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes, you can. Open wide. I made a mess of that old fucker in there.

I had his head down the bowl. I was just like, you're a bad boy. I was like, no, you're a bad boy. When you say there was no term for it, it's kind of bizarre to think about it like a point in time. I turned it around, Sam. I've just realised why you and I have never done a podcast together. We're very different men, Lawrence.

Sam said, when was the last time we worked together? I said, I've done quite a bit with you. He goes, yeah, filling in. Oh, yes. Nice. Oh, yeah. Filling in. Nice.

People wouldn't know how close we are, Lawrence. No, people wouldn't know how close we are, Lawrence. We go back a long way. We made a movie in 2008. We made a short film. A short movie. Yeah, just, well, yeah, but it screened at MIFF. We were pretty proud. Yeah.

But that was 2008. And I yelled at you. We met at a community radio station, Triple R, before that. Yeah. So, yeah, we've known one another a long time. A long time. Through community radio. Community radio and you're on your way back now

on a podcast. Yeah. Gone full circle. And then down a little bit. We worked together last year. We worked together in November, by the way. Do you remember that? My career is in a biplane.

Just keeping altitude above the water, missing the cliffs. You've got that giggling dog in the back of it. And with a scarf on and goggles. And Sam's in the International Space Station just... Just watching me from afar. Why do you do that? What about our... We work together in November.

Why do you do that? That's going to cost you next time I see you. Of course. We went on tour. Yeah, we went on tour, which is a big thrill for me. The big four, the fab four of comedy. They've been great shows. So Mick Molloy, Sam Pang, this is the order.

Marty Sheargold and myself bringing it home because I'm... Very modestly called the comedians as opposed to everyone else that does comedy on stage. Just rubbing everyone else's fucking noses in it. I'm sure it's upset a few people. The only comedians. With the underline. The comedians. The funny comedians.

Come and have a laugh rather than listen to some sad tale of woe. Oh, yeah. yeah well you're fucking marginalising me now Mooney no I did before yeah and will again

but it's been terrific stadium tours the first night the sound went on at I think the Palais in Melbourne I think about four or five minutes in

I did the the foe burst through the door, running towards the stage manager. I said, get him off. Get him off. He's dying. And Marty goes, I'm ready to go on. No one knew quite what was going on.

The other thing that I do is. Now, I know what this one is. This is bad. This is all... That one was good. These are backstage shows. Yeah, that's gentle compared to what he's about to tell you. And a new stage manager,

although we always have the same tour manager, just burst running from backstage. Sam's on. It's like, get him off. He's dying. It's like, what do I do? The other one is Marty is

second drop, so Mick goes on after Sam and I see Marty disappear into the dressing room for a piss just wait until he's got his penis out and he's pissing, he goes, Marty! Marty, you're on! He's trying to choke the piss Marty! Marty, you're on! And he's trying to

choke the piss and shake his penis. You're on! And he's waiting for me to say I'm joking, but I'm just yelling at him. Yes, great. He's cut off his piss half way out. He goes, fuck you! Because in your head,

whenever you're backstage, you're just waiting. You're having a shit, you know it's an hour and a half before you go on, you're just waiting. You're having a shit. You know it's an hour and a half before you go on. You think the door's going to be kicked in any moment. Absolutely. So this tour, everyone else just mentally traumatised and Moon just swatting around backstage. I'm having the time of my life.

Yeah, well, that's what happens to me. I killed tonight. Have you been on yet? No. Well, when we start, that's true. You're almost an hour away from going on. When Mick goes out there... How is the look of the rider by the end of the night? Well, people have said to Sam,

what's it like backstage with these three comedy luminaries, Lawrence Mooney, Mick Molloy and Marty Sheargold? And you know what it's like? It's just me watching three men eat sandwiches. That's all they do. They just eat sandwiches. There's one they do. They just eat sandwiches. There's one or two beers. And mock our own weight gain.

Yeah, the three of them. There's a lot of sadness. When Sam turned up for the first gig, Marty, he'd been off the piss for a year, so he'd lost, you know, 30 kilos and he'd regained it. Through sandwiches.

And booze. they are good so Sam turns up as I fucking so he's been shredding it's not a fucking competition Jesus Christ right as he's just putting two sandwiches straight into his mouth yeah I said it sounds like it might be a competition Marty Marty's listening I wasn't shredding for the tour. I wasn't at a fucking wedding. Marty listening to anybody else's work. Oh, that's true. What was I thinking?

What a sweet kid. Marty was on this podcast and didn't listen to us on it. Hey, you know, it's a new year. Maybe he's turned over a new leaf. Maybe this is his first time. Yeah. It is surreal, though, to be backstage and look around, and there's Malloy, and there's Martyoy and there's Marty and there's Moon.

I got in trouble with you because with that tour coming up, you really, you know, you swatted. You came down, you were doing lots of spots, you got fit and I was telling these other guys, watch out for Pang, he's the dark horse, watch out, watch out. And then they all got a bit worried and then it came back to you and you're like, can you shut the fuck up with telling people I'm good at comedy?

So, sorry, I'll never say that again. Well, no, it's just you don't need to, you know, you didn't need to warn them. No, it's like a training camp. You don't tell, you know, if it's Rocky IV, you're not going to tell Drago that Rocky's doing logs. Yeah, yeah. That's a very good point. You know, I remember a million years ago, I think it was on Triple R, point you know i remember a million years ago i think it was on triple r we got a personal trainer to come in and compare the training montage of rocky and drago wow rocky for a personal trainer

on triple r i couldn't think of two more separate things it was there was a disconnect there but and it was like you know because drago's in, because Drago's in the, you know, he's in the gym, you know, doing weights. Yeah. And then Rocky's in a barn. Yeah, yeah.

Going paleo. Yeah, yeah. And he said that they were very, very similar. Except the, except the shots

where Drago is actually just being injected with steroids. Right. Do you remember them? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's actually just getting needles into his body. Yeah. Which is true. Thanks for having me on, guys. Now,

this is Courtney Parnell. Yeah. Fucking weak little dogs. I love Rocky IV. And welcome to the Poetry Hour here on Tribal. We're going to do some deadlifts and some squats. Today, our guest is the commando. He's going to read us some Walt Whitman.

No, it's Michelle... What was the... Bridges. Bridges, yes. Come back, Commando. Come back, I'm sorry. No more drink driving in the Range Rover. I love you.

They broke up, didn't they? Commando. Yes, they did. Yeah, they lost more than just weight. So at that Mornington gig the other day. Actually, Michelle is a school mum. So, hey, Michelle, if you're listening. Oh.

Her and Marty hanging out, listening to the little dub-dub club. No, I went to, fuck you. I went to school. I went to drinks, Christmas party. And I went over and went, g'day, Michelle. And she goes, oh, who are you? I was like, oh, I went to drinks, Christmas party, and went over and went, G'day, Michelle, and she goes, Oh, who are you? I was like, Oh, fuck you, mate.

Who am I? I'm one of the comedians. You're one of the comedians. I'm one of the comedians. That reminds me of you and I did a co-hosting thing together once, a raw comedy heat, that we got up together and split hosted, and you went off on a, We had seen a celebrity in the street and I brought it up

and you just went off on them, just like teed off. And I went, what's your problem with them? And you were like, she ignored me once. Eight minutes of vitriol at the Evelyn Hotel. Be more polite.

Carl, have you... She ignored me once. Have you got a list of things? I've got just a few notes. I've made a few notes. How long have you been going? No, it's not. You didn't fucking know it. Have you been here 10 years?

You'll go to it when we need it. He hasn't got a list of notes. He's playing Wordle. Because he's no longer continent. No, this is the other night. Who plays Wordle here? Not me. I dropped off.

I was for a bit, though. How many in a row? Couldn't tell you. I had a good little streak going. At the Morning 2 gig the other night, this is what I like. Now, I want to say this because you did very well, extremely well. Headline smashed it. Now, what happened was while you were on, you didn't realize that this is what was going on.

There was a podcast list that brought a friend of his. And you know that horrible thing where someone gets in for free. There's no investment. So she comes in, gets absolutely blind. He's up the back talking to everyone. She was a fucking nightmare. Yeah, yelling out, doing all this sort of stuff. And we're all like, can you fucking shut up?

And then we get to the end of the gig and we're annoyed enough already. And then we think, well, she'll fuck off now. But instead now but instead this is what happens just like this we sit down for a beer she sidles up to you now i don't think at this point you realize how annoying she is but we've all been putting on with the performers and the promoter are sitting down to have a post a knockoff a bit of a knockoff and a little bit of a debrief and a little bit of a backslap. And up comes annoying, pissed fucking idiot. So she sidles up to Moon and then the rest of us know what's coming already.

And I'm watching Moon and I can feel he's just sort of gauging what's going on. And about a minute in... Why didn't you do your brown crayon? She's being haunted his entire time. Mate, can I just say, just start... Where's the Malcolm Turnbull?

Good on you. Good on you. Say it. Is Brown Crayon your snakes alive? Is that what's going on? Just start opening it with it from now on. People want it.

Just do it. I don't even know the bit. I'm not doing the bit. No, I don't want to. Tell the story. She's a fucking Brown Crayon. We all know what's going on. This woman's pissed. She's an idiot. Now, I can see want to. Tell the story. She's a fucking brown guy on. We all know what's going on. This woman's pissed.

She's an idiot. Now, I can see your radar going off. You're listening. You're being very polite because people are coming up and going, great gig, Moon. Well done, Larry. Good on you, Moon, man. Which I want.

I want some back slapping. And well deserved. People pouring their emotion into the void that can't be filled. So you think this is going to be another one of these. Instead, you get this woman telling this story in a circle about how someone's left, and then you're like, who is this person? Spitting an alcohol breath. Oh, the worst.

Who is this person? Are you with him? No. Do you live with him? No. Are you married to him? No. And he's left?

Yes. Well, why isn't he here? I don't know. And they go round and round in a circle, and then she goes to you, Lawrence, as a father, I need some dad advice and you go it's bath time wash your ass

it fucking stinks it's just like you've had enough you've gazed at one minute and you've gone here you go have this one am I your father now

and she goes yes and I said well it's bath time wash your butt butt and then she then she goes back because you know she goes what and I said, well, it's bath time. Wash your bot bot. And then she goes back, because you know. She goes, what?

And I said, you know. She comes back at you again, because when you're drunk, you can't put down a heckler, because she's that drunk. And now this is the beautiful part that you did, which I would like to, I'll say this afterwards. Because you said, at some stage, you said, this is better than the gear that you were doing upstairs. This was my favourite bit. So then after that, she keeps at you and you pick up your phone, look at it and go, it's a scammer.

I've got to take this. And what I want to know is, comedians aren't supposed to pinch other people's jokes, but when I'm out of town, when I'm in a state can I use that one? I've never said that before I've never heard it anywhere I'm sorry, this is a scammer, I've got to take it I've got a policy where I only ever answer unknown numbers, I'm really sorry the more digits that come up on the screen

the more likely I am to pick up Hello Uganda! I had to be rude It's a Nigerian number. I don't know anyone there, but I have to take this. I can't ignore this. Did that finish her? No. It's not the first time.

It won't be the last time. Those are two rippers. Even if she hadn't asked for some dad advice, just point blank saying to someone, it's bath time. Wash your bot bot. With no context. It was a great disarmament.

Sounds like you're on. I was a good set. I could have done with a wash. I just had that feeling. This lady was a podcast listener you said? No, friend of. Oh, friend of. We're getting

dobbed on. You better believe we're getting dobbed on. You better believe we're getting dobbed on. Yes. No, that's fine because I talked to the podcast listener afterwards. I won't name him, but I said, what was the update on your mate afterwards? And he said she hasn't exited her bedroom for two days. Oh, my God. So full shame spiral.

Shame spiral, dead, hangover, all of the above maybe. For Little Dumb Dumb Club listeners, we could probably say the podcast listener's name is Do It. No, does that not ring a bell? No. Go to the list, Carl. What else have you got on that list? Anyway, what's your word or clue?

What's your opening word? Bot bot Bot bot It's got six letters Trying to squeeze it in Bot bo Yeah, grey Bot bo

Grey, grey, grey I'm doing this gig You're doing this gig This morning's a gig Yeah, I'm doing it I'm doing it next month I think this lady might be banned Unless you want to waive that ban

You've got a month to cook up some To cook up some gold I'll just do your stuff She wouldn't remember what she copped that night I reckon I reckon you could use the same I'll give you a mirror duck timber and hardware You're using the same put downs back to her

And then she's telling people the next day I went to that fucking Mornington gig. It was fucking shit. The comedians were bagging me in the exact same way as they were the month before. Yeah, yeah. The moon man stole all his put-downs off PAM. Yeah, yeah.

He's the original one. But also thinking, how come I keep attracting bath-related insults? Like, what is it about me that's copping that? What is it about my spitting and alcohol breath that people hate? What is it about the fact that I stink? Look, do you know what? I, in all fairness, I don't push the bar fly away that hard.

Yes. They're often the most interesting people. They can be fun. They can be the most fucking annoying, awful people. can be fun they can be the most fucking annoying awful people but sometimes um that haze of alcohol and uh and or drugs is interesting to me i'm quite happy to sit there with them and have a great time that's what i like because you didn't smash her it was like you're just being very funny and there was no like i don't i don't think she walked away thinking she was insulted at all. No, my daughter, my oldest daughter and her friends were at that

gig and they were like, came in to say, come on dad, let's go, thinking that they were doing me a favour and saving me, which they were but on any other night I thought, do you want to get the fucking ute and go out to some far western suburb and shoot something?

Get wrong. Oh, yeah. Yeah, or shoot something. The idea that you would need saving, though, is interesting to me. The idea that your daughter or friend's going to come, I've got to save Dad. Usually it's...

I think it was more saving Dad from himself, I reckon. Saving Dad from the front page. That's interesting. So, gotcha. What are you saving me from? You. It's like, ah, good. What?

Saving dad from the Daily Mail. That's a great Cats in the Cradle moment. You're like, your daughter's 19, 20? 23. 23. 23, wow. Her coming in and just decimating this woman on your behalf and you're like weeping going, that's my little girl.

Oh, no. Cats in the Cradle and the silver spoon. Coming in and just decimating this woman on your behalf and you're like weeping going, that's my little girl. Oh no, that was... That's in the cradle and the silver spoon. I was in the back of the room watching the two shows happening, watching El Mooney do 20 minutes on his penis and then correspondingly watching his daughter and her reaction to it. Fantastic. There was no cock jokes whatsoever.

There was, absolutely so. When my sad old cock releases a centimetre of piss it prepared earlier. And what's, if you had to describe the look on the daughter's face, Carl? No, I loved it. Loved it? Loved it, yeah. I remember the first time she came along to a comedy festival show, I was like, hey, when you were 15, you asked your mum if 15 years old

was too young to give a head job and I talk about that in this show and she goes, oh, do you? Cool. It's like, there was a bit of fame by association. She goes, great, can I bring some friends? It's like, oh. But she is

and I think people of her generation are so savvy that they're able to understand comedy as a time and place in a black box where people are exaggerating and extrapolating an idea and taking it to all different lengths without going, oh, you can't say that. You know, it's like... She calls a rake a rake is what you say.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes, Thomas. I think they're a lot more savvy than the in-between generation. Right. I think it also helps a lot. You know, grasped onto fucking,

we've got to cut out all of any doubt. I think it helps a lot with people that don't do comedy when you do a joke and it goes really well. Like you killing and it's like, yeah, this is great. My wife has seen me do the same joke twice, once to crickets and once to applause, and the first time I'm going, you've got to get rid of that joke,

and the second time I'm going, that's your best joke. It's like, no, you just like the clapping at the end. You didn't listen to the fucking joke. And it's the great equaliser, isn't it? If it's funny and everyone agrees in that moment that it's funny, then it's not offensive. What was the joke that got Cricket's

once in there? So many deduces. What I call the best of. Was it Moonduck Timber and Hardware? You did it down in the city. Next night, everything in Mornington. I was bombing and I thought, I'll go for the rope. Next night, everything in Mornington. I was bombing and I thought, I'll go for the rope. I'll go for the stuff that works

every time. Who wants a bath? I've got a question for you. Have you got a dirty mud pot? I've got a question for you, my old friend. Do you think you'll be in the papers a lot this year? Great question. Do you think you'll stay out of them?

No, I think I'll stay out of them. Have you got anything planned for tonight? I've got a very good friend and mentor. And whenever we have a long conversation about some of my proclivities and loose behavior, he always returns with the same sage question over and over again. He says to me, just tell me how old you are. And I say, I'm 57. And then he remains silent and lets me reflect on that.

Can I ask this? Is it an ancient Asian proverb? Not ancient. Right, right. But it is Asian. It's an Asian sage that looks me in the eye and says, Larry Moon, tell me how old you are. And do you know what?

He's been doing that since I was 44. So his advice has done no fucking good. But I'm getting to the thin end of the wedge. I'm actually understanding now. Because, you know, that kind wisdom that doesn't come overnight. From the master approaching the grasshopper, a lot more can be said with an open hand than a clenched fist. Right, right.

How close are you to snatching the pebble of not being a fuckhead out of someone's hand? I'm probably more likely to burn my face on the burning cauldron with the dragon on the side of it. Because I'm pissed and I stumble into the dojo. Push the old blind sensei out of the way. Fuck you. You think you're blind.

You think you're blind. Skin peeling off your face. I look up and he goes, Larry Moon, tell me, how old are you? Singed hair. Yeah. 57. It's my 58th birthday. Yeah.

You fucking smartass. Stop me if I'm allowed to say this, but there was an article in the Daily Mail I did see that we didn't have to go into detail with. We didn't go into fucking detail. I was in a fight. The thing that took my eye was that you were in a fight. You were in a fight with a fan. How many other 58-year-old comedians can say, I was in a fight?

None! With a fan! With a fan. That's the thing I was going to say. You were in a fight with a fan of Lawrence Mooney. He likes your stuff. How the fuck does that happen? Guy comes along to a fan. With a fan. That's the thing I was going to say. You were in a fight with a fan of Lawrence Mooney. He likes your stuff. How the fuck does that happen? Guy comes along to a show, I end up in hospital.

He's just a big fan. Massive fan. It's real Dangerfield areas. Oh, the guy didn't like my gags. You should have gone with the bath with him. I end up in a fight. Fucking who ends up in a fight? I can't understand it.

You know when you told me this, I could not believe what I was hearing. I could not believe the story you were telling me. Me and Tommy feel good, we don't have. That's on you. Sorry, that's strange. Just imagine what it's like being me. I fucking told nobody.

Like, no one knew. Okay? And then the story is leaked to the press by somebody not me and then I have to say

to my wife hey remember when I came home with stitches in my face and a dislocated finger and a bandaged ear I didn't fall over and hit a bollard

she goes she goes I knew it was fucking bullshit I said I was in a fine she goes fuck she didn't ask how old you were no She goes, I knew it was fucking bullshit. I said, I was in a fight. She goes, fuck!

She didn't ask how old you were. Why did you lie to me? I said, I'm so embarrassed. I've just put you through so much already. I couldn't tell you I was in a fight. And she goes, oh, for fuck's sake. When's this story coming out? I said, I think Sunday.

You got the heads up of when it was coming out. Yeah. Did you phone it in? No. I heard it was the fan that did it. No, no, no. So he smacked you and then he rang up and got the Daily Mail onto it as well. Look, that side of it I'm going to leave all alone. The Daily Mail side of it.

Yep. The fan, there was all sorts of machinations going on. The thing is, Sydney's a big kid suburb. You don't fuck around with people in Sydney. It can fucking really turn you on your head. Right. Even fans of yours beat you up.

It sounds pretty rough. Melbourne's a backwater. Like, oh my God, Andrew... Andrew? Andrew Zimbabwe, fucking weird accent Sky News, wants to slag me off. Who gives a fuck?

Sydney does a number on you. How do you reckon I'd go in Sydney? Lovely. You'd do very well. Because do you know what you don't do? What? Everything I do. As long as you steer clear of the bollards, you'll be fine.

Those bollards can really come at you. Also, Pang, your fans aren't as tough as Mooney's fans. I reckon you could probably take your fans. That's true. You've got some tough fans. There's some pretty angry nine-year-old girls out there. I could not, but well, anyway. But it's January, so we'll just see how you go.

You say you won't be in the... It's not just January. It's January the 8th. Yeah. Eight days down. Yeah, that's true, and you haven't been in the papers yet. No, that's what... 257 to go.

No Daily Mail article yet. Because I'm not in the obituaries. Yeah. Is your house like one of those factories where it says, this many days without an accident? Is that what you... This many days without a Daily Mail article? My wife's like that. this many days without an accident. Is that what you... This many days without a daily mail article. My wife's like that.

This many days without a workplace incident. And yet you're beloved. Here's my wife, not too sure whether she meant it or didn't mean it story. So we're at dinner and she goes, oh my God, there's so many beautiful reviews about your book on Booktopia. I said, oh really? I'm not keeping abreast of it.

I don't do socials. She said, yeah, there's some people talking about how they know it's a comedy parody, but at its heart, it's actually a self-help book and it's got a lot of spirit. She said, you should read some of them. I said, oh, I'm not into it. She said, seriously, there's five-star reviews, one after another. I said, what on? She goes, Booktopia.

So I get to the end of dinner with my brothers, and we've had this lovely degustation with great wines, and I open Booktopia, and I put in the name of my book, and the first review is one star. It's like, this book's terrible. The guy doesn't know how to write. It's not funny. It's awful.

I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I said, really? She goes, oh, no, not Booktopia, Goodreads. I said, is this payback or something? She said, what could possibly be payback? For what? Don't make me choose. It is a very good book, by the way. Yeah, on Goodreads it is. What's the plug? What's the name of it again?

Embracing Your Limitations. So it's a parody of the self-help genre, because I'm a bit of a self-help junkie. And the whole of my 2023 festival seasons, Adelaide Fringe, Melbourne Comedy Festival, Sydney Brisbane,

are all the show Embracing Your Limitations. So not the book launch. It's a show based on... The book, that concept. And the whole idea that you can change and make yourself better and all you have to do is practice a habit, practice a behaviour for 30 days

and it'll become a habit and you can do it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Your fucking DNA goes back to when we slithered out of the swamp and grew legs, fuckhead. You are who you are, alright? Chapter one, by the way. That's chapter one one isn't it

just quit give up just imagine Tony Robbins getting knocked out by one of his fans and that's a good synopsis

I reckon Tony would not get knocked out nah I don't either I think he would kill one of his fans yes and then the body would be disposed of

by a million acolytes and he would never see that fucker again and I don't think it's the first time that Tony is killed. Do you think this fan will be

attending any of the shows on the 2023 tour? I don't think I've seen the last of this fan. That's almost running through my head. It's like,

yeah. If you've got fans like that, that would worry me when it's like, full house Mr Mooney? Fuck, I've got to fight my way out of here.

Can we just leave some seats empty? Yeah, yeah. There's a little road to the exit so I can make a hasty escape. Yeah, I think this is an ongoing story. Okay. Oh, wow. This is the 2024 show.

Yeah. Oh, man. This could end pretty badly. Let me just say on this podcast. It started pretty badly. I know. Get the stage advice ready to go. You're going to be busier than you were at Breakfast on this podcast. It started pretty badly. Get the stage advice ready to go. You're going to be busier than you were at Breakfast Radio this year.

Because you may ask the question, how old are you, Larry Moon, and I'm not there to answer it. I'm going to be, you know what, don't just ask. Let me just say. Just start demanding proof of ID from now on, I reckon. Up the ante. Larry Moon, how old are you? I've forgotten.

He really did a number on me this last time. My name's not Larry Moon. It's Mary Loon. I'm a lovely lady now. I'm a Thai sex worker. Sam, it's me. Are you just fully Olivia Newton-John's husband and just disappear to Thailand

and just run a massage... Yeah, a sex shop. Massage parlour in Koh Chang. I call it a sex shop. Sex shop, sorry. Sorry, my apologies. Massage parlour. Sorry, not being very politically correct.

Sorry about that. So, Sam. Yes, Lawrence. Why did you quit Nova? Let's get it off me and my fucking stalker fan. I got in a fight with a fan. What do I say? Seven years was a long time.

Don't you think that's nice? Seven years is a long time. Doing breakfast radio from 7 till 9.40. What is wrong with you? Come on. I did more breakfast radio than you and I did it for three years. Getting up at the crack of brunch is tough, all right? I mean, those two breaks must have killed you.

Four days a week, six months a year. What's with the roast here? This is unbelievable. You copped it for one minute. He's copped it for 45. I'm already on the side of that fan, by the way. You know I'll be punching on at the end of this podcast. Oh, that I love.

Him going door-to-door with other well-known comedians. Trying to enlist like a gang to take on Moon next time. What do you think? I thought you meant comedy notches on the belt. Like, how many comedians can you beat up? That would be good. Ah, sure. I've got Moon.

Pang next. I know, seven years was enough for me. That's what I'm saying. Right. Yeah, I mean, nearly 260 hours of radio. Yeah.

You must have been exhausted. What is the official, what is the official excuse? Is it spending more time with the family or pursuing your true love stand-up? Oh, back to treading the boards.

They're the two. No, yeah. They're the two excuses. I just need some space for myself. Yeah? Is that it? Travel?

What is the official excuse? Lazy fuck. There you go. That's it. There it is. When you're waiting just for the Sam Pang Variety Show

to be debuted in April. What if I want to kill my shots of Sam coming out of the supermarket and his guts hanging over his tracksuit pants? And the arrows to the belly bit just out of the t-shirt. It's like, let himself go. Sam Pong. Yeah, yeah.

Am I right? I heard he quit breakfast. Doesn't look like he quit dinner. You know, every time I come on this show, I always wonder why. It's your sister. Yeah, what do you think she'll be making of this one? I was told not to mention her. Sam's sister listens.

I was told to not mention her. Really? Yeah. She's a fan of the show and not a fan of Sam on the show. You don't give up. You're not good on podcasts. You don't reveal enough. I go, yeah, well, I don't want to do them.

Can you reveal anything? Is there anything you can reveal? I threw juicy nuggets at you last time. Yeah, last time. We Googled Tommy. That's not right. It's only behind closed doors that I rock Sam to sleep while he's weeping in my arms. I think people found on Google that you went to the zoo once. He's a pretty tightly wound spring.

Just leave him be. People should be. One day he'll fucking walk into an office somewhere. Right. Have you been paying attention with a... I'll take them all out. Sit at chopsticks and you'll go fucking nuts. Sorry.

Not a gun? I put two in Tommy's head straight off the bat. Walk into the little Dum Dum Club office. No, I meant Tommy Gleisner, not you, Tommy. It didn't seem weird

to anyone, did it? I love him clearing it up. No, I just rolled with it. Not yet. I'd shoot him too. No, but I love him clearing it up. No, I wouldn't waste a bullet on you. No. People should be under no illusion, and you know this. When I'm alone, there is deep, deep sadness.

Right. Okay. Not really. Of course there's not. It's a sad... You know, for a lot of people it's a sad clown. For Sam it's the incontinent clown. I just shit myself, by the way.

Yeah. Right now. Yeah. So spending more time with the family. No, no. Not at all. No, no. Absolutely not.

I will not be doing that. Meeting Lawrence's brothers before this. Yeah. We also met your eight wives that you're up here. Do people know that you're in the Mormon church? Is that out or is that not out? Well, it is now. Okay, cool.

Who's your favourite? Who's your favourite Mormon? Tula? All the time. Tula or Guppy? Jesus Christ. Polyamorous. Con the polyamorous Tula.

My wife's tall Call him the Mormon Hello ladies Welcome to the church What else have you got on the list? What have you got on that list? You know what I got? I got Christmas You're not even looking at it

No I just remember what was the most current thing I wrote on the list was Christmas. You know, I always hear about Christmas, you know, doing Christmas dinner with your family. You can't remember Christmas after Christmas. Do your Christmas dinner with your family and everyone always doesn't look forward to it because there's fights. I've never had a fight at Christmas dinner, but I had my first fight. Oh, okay. I had my first Christmas dinner fight. All right.

Was Christmas dinner at a different place to lunch? Yes, at the in-laws. So dinner's lunch? Yes. Sorry, I should say that. Lunch. Yes, yes, yes. Late lunch.

I had my first fight, and with the in-laws, not even with the Blood family. Oh, wow. One of those Chandler ones where you get really cutting and nasty very quickly. A little bit. Like you do with young comics who are trying to break through. Yes. And ask you for a gig. Yes.

Or like a polite son-in-law. I couldn't imagine fighting with my in-laws. They're just not, we're not close enough. Is this a story about you having Christmas lunch with a fan? No, no, no, no. I'm at lunch. I'm at lunch and I got, my wife has got, she's one of five. She's the accident.

She's 10 years younger than the rest of them. So what teed it off? Was it a slight? I'm stuck. Was it slight at your inability to get an income? No, no. Oh, no. You know what?

Yes, let's go there. Are you still running for the project? Yeah. No, I'm doing all right. Oh, God. Now I can see why you still running for the project? Yeah. No, I'm doing all right. Now I can see why you get in a fight with fans. These guys love you, Laren. They love you.

Come on, I've got about five more jobs than you. Fair. Okay, that's fair. His podcast phone is ringing off the hook. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's only Tommy, but still, that's Tommy. Carl writes all of my lead stuff. I don't take calls from David Quirk.

You going to leave that too? I don't know who that is. Oh, God. Fantastic. Leave that in then. So, two gone is two bad ones. I get stuck with the bad ones. Oh, yuck.

I hate that. Stuck with. Yeah, stuck in between two bad ones. I get stuck with the bad ones. Yuck. I hate that. Stuck with. Yeah, stuck in between the bad ones. And by bad ones, there's one guy that's, this is what he did a couple of years ago. He goes, I parked my BMW, my 989 BMW 318i out the front, and he starts off the Christmas.

This is about five, probably about six, seven years ago. He starts off the Christmas by walking in going, G'day, Carl. You're still driving that fucking piece of shit out the front. I'm like, oh, Merry Christmas to you too, mate. Yep. Nice home. I don't know if I'd leave it with that at Christmas.

I've seen dozens of people say that to you over the years, but never at Christmas. I do Merry Christmas. Hey, great to see you, blah, blah, blah. By the way. Yes. And then once I had an audience. Right, right. Yeah, right. Were you naughty this year, were you? You drove you, blah, blah, blah. By the way. Yes. Yeah, and then once I had an audience. Right, right.

Yeah, right. Were you naughty this year, were you? You drove here in a fucking lump of coal. Yeah. Well, this wasn't even to an audience. It was just one-on-one. So you're still driving your Nazi Hunmobile. Yeah.

Well, see, this is all punching up. I would have copped all of this. Yeah, yeah. This is a guy playing to no one, just trying to shit me. 57 minutes. Yeah. Just trying to get me. So the. Yeah. Just trying to get me. So the thing is, at the time, he's driving an Audi.

So he's like, fuck you and your fucking shit car. I'm like, I'll just shit car again. 989, BMW, 318i. It's a BMW. It's a classic. It's pretty old. 1989. Yeah.

It's a BMW. It would be beautiful if I'd looked after it at all. So, yes. And if he was really poor, he'd get those classic plates to save on registration, like every other poverty-stricken Nissan Navara driver from 1974. We know what your game is. I do have a personalised number plate. The things you choose to get passionate about.

We won't bring that up. You got classic plates? Oh, we've got personalised number plates. You fucker. It's because of this podcast, though. They made me get it. Oh, fucking bullshit. You know what my plates are? Got him. Oh, we've got Versalize. Yeah, fucker. It's because of this podcast though. They made me get it. Oh, fucking bullshit. You know what my

plates are? Got him. Oh, okay. Yeah, so it's a fucking joke because it's a podcast. So when he's driving around, the

fans can try and run him off the road. Yeah, yeah. Beat that, Moon. Try and bash my car. The fans. Yeah, yeah. Both of them.

Yeah, so. Like they live in Melbourne. Yeah. They live in fucking Endeavour Hills. No, there's plenty more of them. There's plenty more of them. Don't live in Malvern. Yeah. So. They live in fucking Endeavour Hills. No, there's plenty more, Thorne. There's plenty more, Thorne. Don't worry.

I see. Okay, go. So he does that. The beautiful thing is he does that to me at Christmas dinner. He's driving the Audi at the time. He then has some sort of mental breakdown, takes his wife to court, loses all his money. The next time I see him about three years later he's driving a slightly different vehicle

I see him down in St Kilda pushing all his worldly belongings in a cold shopping trolley I'm like you still pushing that piece of shit are you mate?

Wow Yeah It's the most wonderful time of the year It's starting to look a lot like Christmas when your brother-in-law's homeless.

So they say that comedy should never punch down, but you're loving the fact that you have a relative who once slighted you to driving an old BMW who's now homeless. Yes, and you can feel that. Come on, Lawrence Mooney. If anything I've said today, you can relate to. It's that. You really surprise me sometimes. So just explain this to me.

So he was there on Christmas. So he was there on Christmas Day. This is the same guy. When did you see him pushing? That was years ago. That was probably four or five years. He's bounced back. He's now living in a house. He's got a, I don't know what sort of car. I didn't clock it on the way in. 1989. 1988, probably.

Piece of shit. He's got a spanking new Audi trolley. Good. Different. Fully worth the dollar he put in for it. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, it doubles as a little bank. Because you've got your little money. Has he been humbled? Has he been, you know, has he been...

Your little money. Has he been humbled? Has he a better guy now? I think he's trying to. I don't think he's got it in him to go the full... Yeah, you're a fuckwit. You're a fuckwit. Yeah, 180 and get back to it.

I'm in. Yeah. Well, this is it. So I go. So I'm stuck in between the two of them, right? And so he's got... I've got history with this bloke. The sister's well-meaning but is just saying the wrong thing.

So she's starting to give a full review of a movie she's just watched at the cinema. Oh, Jesus. A full blow-by-blow what happens in this movie. And I go, hey, we've got tickets to see that on Newsy. If you could stop saying exactly what's happening, that would really help me out. Yeah, no worries. So anyway, the next thing that happens is help me out. Yeah, no worries. So anyway, the next thing that happens is this.

And I go, again, I'm not sure if you heard me. Why don't some people get language? Yeah. Why don't they understand? I don't know. I don't know. Ten seconds later, I have to put my hand up again and he said, I don't know how to rephrase this, but. Shut the fuck up. I am watching the movie, and I don't know how you watch movies, but I like to be surprised by it.

It's like magic. So if you could not say what's happening. I don't want to know that the people are blue, all right? Get the fuck out. So if you could not say anything. Anyway, the big ship hits an iceberg. Come on. Don't tell me that fucker sinks.

Special New Year's Eve screening of Titanic. Me causing an argument at Christmas dinner because someone spoiled a 20-year-old movie. So the people in the blue and white striped pyjamas are all put onto a train.

Hey! Fucking come on! Now my New Year's Eve is ruined. Hang on. Sorry. Is that giving away bananas in pyjamas?

Is your missus name withheld? Is she a bit of a bogan that's done okay? No. Is she a good seed out of a lot of bad seeds? I think she's the tiebreaker. She's the good one. So it's three out of five.

She's a sparkling personality and very intelligent. Lovely. Italian family. Pizza Hut Italian. Not the proper Italian. I've never met her, have I? Don't think so. But also

I mean You've got to I take points off For the fact that she settled Yeah Yeah Quickly She saw a bloke

Shaking a bucket At the end of Spleen At an open mic And thought That's the one for me Is that where you met No Yeah

I wouldn't put it past you Very charming I met her in the bucket department At Bunnings How did you meet her At work We worked together And then we Very charming. I'm in the bucket department at Bunnings. How did you meet her? At work. We worked together.

You've had a job. We had a clandestine relationship and didn't tell anyone for six months. Was she writing for the project? No, it wasn't the project. Why was it clandestine? Because we just kept it sly. Were you both seeing other people at the time? You know what? No, because she just started work and I hooked up with her immediately

and she was like, this looks really bad. A, going out with someone straight away as soon as I've joined work and B, going out with you. So we kept it on the sly. I think it made a big claim this time no matter where she worked, honestly. Carl and I worked together on Dirty Laundry Live on the ABC. And that's when me and you first got together as well. Yeah.

And he was like, day one, I was like, I'm going to pound him in the dunnies. And the thing that was shameful was he would have a pie and a can of Coke for breakfast every day. I was, actually. I can't let anyone know that I'm going out with a guy that has such a shit diet. Yeah. It was bad, but it was because of that bloody bakery that I was... Frank's.

We've talked about this. Frank's Bakery. We've talked about this a long time ago, but they had great pies, but they always ran out by 10 o'clock and they never restocked for lunch. Yeah, because Frank was like, that's all I'm making. See ya. But there was no pies for lunch. I want to be number 10.

So I would go in there and buy a 9 o'clock pie and eat it at 9 o'clock and everyone would go, you're a fucking idiot. And I'm like, well, it's either this or no pies so i would eat breakfast pies and frank very smart uh soccer football with my brother oh and uh flashy footballer yeah very attractive young man he worked in the bakery yeah nice and it's like oh you're frank's son it's like yeah yeah sounds like you had a lot for him apart from making a few more fucking pies after 10.30am. I liked his style. Frank was like, I'm making that many pies because I want to shut this place,

sell all my wares, and then just walk around the park having a chat to myself. Yeah, yes. Frank was eccentric. It was a massive bakery, and you'd walk in there, and there would be fucking two sausage rolls in the entire place. And it was like, this is a velodrome. Why haven't you got more fucking stock in here? I think Frank actually was a member of the French resistance.

Really? No, because sometimes he would wear medals. And I said to him... He'd wear a beret, wouldn't he? A beret and medals. And I said to him one day, what are those medals for? And he said, I fought against the Germans. And he was a Frenchman.

for him. He said, I fought against the Germans and he was a Frenchman. And so, you want a man, a fucking veteran of World War II, to have your pie ready at 12.30, do you? Yes. I would quite like that, actually. How good was Hello, Hello? It's a good show.

Hello, Hello. Yeah. That's about the French resistance, isn't it? A lot of double entendres with a French accent. I like your big stiff baguette. It's not a cock. It's a loaf of bread. I like your banana in a pajama. Did you work on Dirty Laundry Live?

I did for one season, yes. Did you have writers on that show? Did you? There we go. Did you? I Did you have riders on that show? Did you? Woo! There we go. Did you? I thought you just rocked up. Woo-hoo! You're begging this person to stop spoiling this movie for you.

Oh, wow. Have you not finished that story? No, we haven't finished. Let's just put it... Let's just put the hat on. By the way, for the listeners, I just saw the greatest eye roll from Lawrence Moody. That was unbelievable

Let's take this thing home People are busting to get into The fucking gift shop People need onion jam And my brothers are out there Waiting for me post gig I said I'll just do this Podcast

It'll be done by We're starting at 7 It'll be done by 8 Oh fuck 8.30 They'll be so blind Let's finish this story We don't want some security guard

To lose his life Yeah anyway Then I called my sister-in-law I can't see you mate Yeah yeah yeah No no I like my sister-in-law. I can't see you, mate. No, no, I like this story. Let's finish. So she's gone three times with the synopsis.

I've gone, I'm begging you. Don't say this. I'm going on New Year's Eve in a couple of days. I'm going to watch this movie. We're going to watch this movie. Not for the life of my children, please. On his hands. I don't know anything. We own tickets already.

I've bought these tickets. Don't blow this for me. We're going gold class, please. This is all I have. This is the best night of the year, and I'm spending it watching this. Somebody told me that the sting ended, and they knew. Oh, my God. Please.

So she goes over. I went to the crying game, and just as I went in, they went, she's got a cough. Please don't let it happen again. Another New Year's ruined. I mean, six cents. I thought 2023 was going to be better.

He's dead, people. I beseech you, have mercy on my twist ending. So she goes the third time. I said, don't do it. I've got the tickets. Don't do it. And she's like, oh, okay, and finally gets a hint.

And that's when old mate shopping trolley stands up and goes, well, what does it matter? This is what happens in the end anyway. Wow. And just says it. And is this him deliberately like he's trying to get you back? No. This is just. And just says it. And is this him, is this him deliberately like he's trying to get you back? No.

This is just he hasn't gotten it. No, it just does not get it. That's sick. Does not get it. That's awesome. And I stand up and go, What does it matter? I stand up and go,

fuck me dead. And they go, oh my God. I'll tell you, you're the one that arced up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. He's the guy now.

Yeah, then they go, oh my God. And they go, we've never heard youced up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. He's the guy now. Yeah, then they go, oh, my God. And they go, we've never heard you swear before. And I go, that's because no one's ever been that fucking dumb in front of me in this fucking house before. He doubled down. Yeah. Right. And they got scared.

It doesn't matter what happens. Isn't it ironic that old mate shopping trolley, that's his name, And then he ends up pushing around a shopping trolley. Yes. What a cruel twist of fate. Yeah, well, he was born to do it, wasn't it? Called your kid Wynne on the stock exchange. All right. You know, there was a kid called old mate shopping trolley.

You'll never guess what happened to him. All right, we'd better wrap it up for another week. Is that it? Lawrence Mooney. This would have to be my last one ever, wouldn't it? Oh, would it? Seriously. Who's making that call?

I don't think my podcast phone's ringing anytime soon. You were great. Really? Yeah. It was a team effort. We've all been great. I've enjoyed all of it. Yeah.

Go check out Lawrence Mooney and Sam Pang. You've got some tour dates Coming up The comedians They're all sold out Sure So buy tickets to my solo show Embracing Your Limitations Embrace Your Inner Loser And Win at Life

And that's in Adelaide That's in Melbourne That's in That is in Adelaide, Melbourne Sydney and Brisbane Beautiful All tickets on sale right now And go and get the book as well

Yeah buy the book I heard the book's good The book's great From one website How have you not read it? Well we didn't get Tickets on sale right now. And go and get the book as well. Yeah, buy the book. I heard the book's good from one website. How have you not read it? Well, we didn't get an advance copy for this podcast, so that's the only reason I read books these days. He got the ending spoiled at Passover lunch.

My brother-in-law goes, yeah, you can do it apparently. I'm like, ah, fuck, now I don't have to read it. Spoiler alert for Carl's wife's family. My wife, my mum dies. Freudian slip. Oh, no. Fuck. Alright, guys, thanks very much for listening and we'll see you

next time. See you, dickheads. Oh, sorry, got that wrong too. And they've done it again. Oh, they have. What a great ep. I've strolled in here and caught you off the back of a blistering phone call with those two guests

requesting several edits. Not blistering, just staggered three to four messages. No, not messages. Phone calls. Phone calls. So new things that they thought of wanting edited out. Lawrence Mooney driving from St. Andrews Beach to Sydney

and stewing in his own juices for about 10 hours. I like the idea that it's like they don't just remember them all at once. Like, oh, those three things I said, I've got to get them edited out. It's almost like he's replaying it in his head in real time and just pausing the tape mentally and then going, when that bit come out, all right, now I'm just going to keep the replay going in my head. And I think we both probably share the attitude of we've done this long enough where we're like, hey, if you don't want it in the episode, don't fucking say it.

Like, you know, just have a handbrake on yourself. But then you think that and then you go, oh, hang on, Lawrence Mooney. Yeah, he did get sacked from radio. Yeah. Okay, fair enough. Well, I mean, I remember we used to say to people, hey, you know what? Just let's have fun. If you want anything taken out, we can do that in post.

So don't worry about it. Just let us know at the end. I remember that used to be the thing. And then at a certain point, it was just like too many people getting to the end of the ep and being like, can you take that out? And being like, that was 20 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I mean if you like accidentally say a slur or someone's name that you don't want named,

not like an entire thing that you've held court with. And in one instance, I remember it was, oh, can you take that story out? Because I didn't really like it very much. And then it turned up in their festival show. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Anyway, so we're concentrating on the wrong thing. We've come off very negative off the back of it, which we shouldn't because that was a belter.

That was great. Good fun. But behind the curtain is what has happened is that there have been several snippets, which is fine. You're not missing out on too much. There's a couple of funny things. It doesn't need to be...

And don't start the campaign, oh, can we have the release? It's like you really aren't missing out on much at all. You are just missing out on specific little. If you want to really get the juicy snippets that don't get released on the main app, this is how to do it. Become really good at comedy. Yep. Get on the podcast.

Yep. Say something so fucked up that it can't be used on the real feed. Yep. And then have it edited out and then sit in your armchair on the Wednesday afternoon and go, I remember that funny thing I said that didn't get used in there, the N-word. Yeah, that was great, wasn't it? Become so good at comedy that you're a global superstar and we're begging to have you on and you say, I'll only go on if I can go on with Lawrence Mooney.

Yes. And then you get a front row seat to all of the stuff that is eventually going to get edited out. And then set him up for it all. Exactly. What do you think of the Jews? Yeah, that sort of thing. Yeah, great.

And yeah, shout out to the St. Andrews Beach Brewery. I've been there a few times before this. Great brewery. Great beers if you ever see them in the fridge at your local Bottle-O. Absolutely go down and like that. Because the thing is we recorded it there. I'm not sure if we made it super clear, but we recorded it there

because Moon was doing the gig there. Sam Pang was holidaying around the corner. They were very nice. They set us up in a room. Hopefully it all sounds fine. They were overly... They closed the gift shop down for us. Yes, the bottle shop

and people were trying to get in and all that sort of stuff. They were very nice to us. So if you're in the region, if you are a billionaire and you need your Porsche charged or you need some onion jam with your slab, get in there. I mean, this is really only going out to, I guess, friends of Andy Lee at this point. So the sort of people that can afford to go down there. Well, I reckon I saw maybe seven to eight people trying to get into the bottle shop

while we were in there and not being able to do so. So we had to cost some money. At an estimate, I mean, you never know how much people are going to go in there to buy. But let's say as a loose estimate, we cost them maybe $200. Right. So if you're in the area, you enjoyed the episode, do the right thing, pop in, get a six pack and say, I wasn't going to do this, but because I listened to the Little Dum Dum Club and your generosity

regarding them, I thought I'd come in and pay it forward. Honestly, go in there and get an onion jam. Yeah. I kept looking at it going, I'd quite like some onion jam. Well, we got the manager, Tim, I think his name was, he very kindly was like, boys, help yourself to some beers out of the fridge. If you had just taken that, you know, just carte blanche, just taken that a step further and gone, I mean,

the cost of the onion jam is probably less than a six-pack. So, I mean, really. That is a weird thing. I think that's the point I would get in trouble because if you walk out with a six-pack, you go, fair enough, I get it. If you walk out with onion jam, you go, no, I think that's the point I would get in trouble because if you walk out with a six pack you go fair enough I get it if you walk out

with onion jam you go no I think that's theft this is taking the well yeah when he was very generously saying to you like yeah yeah yeah

just help yourself to the beers I was going to jokingly go can I have one of those hats but then he seemed like the sort of guy who was kind enough

that he would have gone oh yeah man for sure and then I would have been given a hat for free and felt very very guilty about it and they were quite good hats their little logo is their design stuff is cool

yeah it's like an old it was an old like racing like a horse stables oh it was too so the beers are all themed around they're all called like the apprentice and

I don't know the fucking the ketamine and the the gigantic cock yeah the shotgun yeah yeah the sheep

the sheep brought out put around a crippled horse. That would be great if they made one that was like a 10% double IPA, just like an incredibly strong beer. And it's like the little logo. Yes. On the side, it's like just a crippled horse and the doctor walking out with a double barrel. You can see the sheet come out,

and you can just see a guy sculling one just behind it. So it's like, yeah, once you're finished that, we're going to need to shoot you. No, that's like the, yeah, the six pack itself is like wrapped. It's got the little sheet wrapped around it. Oh, that's good. You have to like pull that back to get the. Yeah, yeah, the curtain. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Instead of the, yeah, whatever you call it. What do you, the ring. What do you call the plastic bit that hooks all the six beers up? What do you call that? I actually don't know. Ring, ring. I don't know. I keep thinking ring pull.

That's like, no. Yeah, no, but they're kind of new, right? So they're probably, I mean, I'm sure they do. They're invented to stop the old school plastic ones that seals would choke on. Yes, which I can't even remember the name of that either. Yeah. What was the term of that? Here we go.

Anyway. Get that inbox ready. Finally, something interesting on the show. which I can't even remember the name of that either. Yeah. What was the term of that? Here we go. Anyway. Get that inbox ready. Finally, something interesting on the show. Great fun. Thank you very much for the time of Lawrence Mooney and Sam Pang. Very generous for them to pull them in. A, off the back of Pang's holiday that he's down there with,

and B, dragging Mooney away from his brothers that he was having a catch-up with. Crazy to meet the Mooney siblings. Yes. Who are all, yeah, they're multiplicity Lawrence. Yes. Yes. And once you left, I hung around and had a little bit of time with them. And one of them just dominated the conversation once he found out about that he'd just done a podcast and just wanted to tell me, play by play, what had happened on an episode of uh talking sopranos or whatever the sopranos

podcast is oh okay i do like that when um when someone finds out that you know you do a podcast it's like well here's some detail about just some other podcasts it's like yeah man i don't you know just i'm not in the fucking committee. I'm not in the club. But you must have done that where you've met a muso or a sports person and sort of been like... Well, that's a good example. You want to flex a little bit, but you want that insider knowledge of like, hey, what's really going on with this? Sure, that's a question instead of going, hey, you play cricket?

Yeah, I saw a game of polo once. Yeah, who gives a fuck? That's not the same thing. Me, the first time I met Tony from the Avalanche is just going track by track about Use Your Illusion. Rachmaninoff. And just what I think of every single song on a completely unconnected album.

Yes. And I think that's probably a better example than the one this was. Right. It was, yeah, like they had been having a drink while we were doing the pod. And as I was leaving, one of the Mooney siblings being like, are you driving home with a flock of seagulls? And I was like, what?

And he was like, this song playing, it's a flock of seagulls. Same Mooney. And yeah, in my head I was like, God, this is just Mooney to a T. This is just 100%. This was, yeah, that was the same Mooney, God, this is just Mooney to a T. This is just 100%. This was, yeah, that was the same Mooney brother that I then had to listen to. Oh, great. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Who I hope had had a lot to drink because if that's just him normal, I'm like, man, you are a punish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What did you glean from his play-by-play of the Talking Sopranos podcast? Look, all I did was get through all that. Because you haven't even watched the show.

That's the best bit. I just tried to get around the fact that I just didn't want to say that because that would spark a new conversation. Sure. Ah, you've got to watch it. Yeah, yeah. Because that's all I'm going to get next. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pat, you haven't watched it. Why haven't you watched it? You've got to watch it. Well, it's real shades of what you were talking about in the episode. By talking about the Talking Sopranos podcast, he's potentially spoiling your eventual watch of The Sopranos. Which, by the way, I've got to ask, on behalf of my own curiosity, and I know a lot of listeners will be screaming at the iPod at this point,

what movie? Is it called The Menu? Yeah. Yeah,? Is it called The Menu? Yeah. Yeah, that's it. That's really, okay. Because I was trying to think about like what's out at the moment that's like. That could be spoiled. Yeah, and that's like the less you know, the better.

Yes. Well, I know. Eat all. Did you like it? Did I like listening to it? Did you like the audio book? Yeah. What was better, the audio book or the play?

Oh, I didn't bother going to watch it after. You didn't go see it? No. Oh, damn. That's a shame. Well, I felt like I would just be too annoyed by it. Yeah. Too annoyed by already knowing what was going on.

Maybe you give it a bit of time and then hopefully forget what they told you and then go back in. Because it is a great film. I loved it. Oh, and that's why I was going to see it. I heard it was great. Did you go see anything else instead? No. Oh, right.

Wow, the menu all bust. Yes, it was just like, yeah, it was just sort of a vague fog of depression about just any, just, you know, no, you know what it was. It ruined the art form as a whole. It ruined cinema for me. I was really trying to think about what's out. Because in my mind, it was Avatar 2, which is the most pointless, stupid plot. Or Banshees of Inner Shear.

I was just trying to triangulate. What would Carl be going to see on New Year's Eve? And what is something that's eminently spoilable? And I didn't... I mean, yeah, Menu's been out a little while, so I didn't connect the dots on that one. Yes. Well, yeah, it was literally, like, my wife will go and see anything. She doesn't care.

She just likes going to the cinema. Whereas I'm like, I don't want to waste my fucking time on any of this shit. And then that one was like, oh, yeah, I like the look of that one. Yeah. That could be good. And it's like, no, that's the one movie that was on the table, and now it's off the table. Yeah, damn. So that was it for me.

Well, hey, I didn't, I don't think I followed up on this, but I went and saw Avatar 2. I went to a preview of it, which two things about it. First of all, Husey was sitting two rows in front of me. Did I say this on the show? Yes. Did I? Yes. I couldn't remember if I told you face to face or not.

But the thing I didn't say on the show was that, you know, part of the reason I went, got to support a friend of the show. Oh, hang on, hang on. Friend on the show was that, you know, part of the reason I went, got to support a friend of the show. Oh, hang on. Hang on. Friend of the show. You know, you got to help out people that are in the orbit. You know, just help out the little guy. Support, you know, support.

I'm trying to think. Was Sam Worthington on the show early on? No, I don't think so. Oh, the wife. Because the wife from The Sopranos, she was in there. Edie Falco? Yeah. Was she being on the show?

Well, this isn't the Talking Sopranos pod, so no. Right, okay. Now I'm getting our podcast mixed up with Talking Sopranos. It's a shame. If you had have gone to see Avatar 2 on New Year's Eve, that could have been your in with Brother Mooney. You could have been like, well, I haven't seen The Sopranos, but I have seen her most recent work in Avatar 2.

Right. And that got me back in. That got me into her work. And now, I haven't seen The Sopranos, but I have seen her most recent work, The Avatar 2. Right. And that got me back in, that got me into her work. And now I'm going back into The Sopranos. No. No, I'm out. I'm out. You might, it's actually entirely feasible that you might not even know that this person is in the film. Right. Friend of the show, Brendan Cowell.

No, I didn't know that. Oh, right. No. He's in it. Although. And he's great in it. Remember when we did that, basically that episode. Yep episode with him years ago in Sydney, live episode? Go back and have a listen.

He was great on it. It was a great episode. It was great. He, I think we tried to get him on another episode and he said, no, I'm going to live in New Zealand for a year. Was that for that? It could have been. I can't, yeah, I can't really place when that was. I mean, he's been working on these fucking movies for ages. It must have been I can't Yeah I can't really Place when that was

I mean he's been working On these fucking movies For ages It must have been He's not in Lord of the Rings Or anything is he So that was it Yeah

I think we missed out But would that have been That soon God I mean that It would have been Because that's been going For years

Yeah yeah Yeah that was it That must have been it Yeah right So that Interesting So you watched him On that movie Thinking well there you go that's what took him out of you know potentially being on another episode there's a scene that yeah you can just see on his face he's like god

i gotta reply to that fucking email yeah i didn't want to do i did think about because also weirdly so he was in that and then i've been going through game of thrones and i got up to the episodes the other night that he's in so i'm just like like, I'm living in Brendan Cowell land. And I've just been thinking about like, because it was so long ago that he was on the show, but I've still got his email somewhere. Just sending him a message and being like, hey man, don't even remember doing the pod,

but just caught you in some stuff recently and wanted to say, great work. Yeah, sure. Do it. If you ever want to zoom in, let us know. You know what's funny is that he, in Avatar 2, it's him and Jermaine Clement are kind of like this. Is he in it too?

Yeah, yeah. But how's this? They're like kind of a little duo. Not like in a comedic sense, but like their characters are sort of like side by side. They're blue people. No, no, no. They're like hunting.

They're hunting these like wild creature things. I know nothing about this movie, either of the movies. I know literally nothing about that. Alien Planet, Blue People, Brendan Cowell and Jermaine Clement are like these hunters who hunt these whales that are native to the planet. No wonder I haven't seen it. Fuck it now. I hate it already.

I mean, I liked it. But the funny thing is it's like the two of them side by side. Brendan Cowell just getting to let rip with the Australian accent. Oh, really? God, it makes you feel good. Jermaine Clement doing an American accent, which I just find funny. It's like James Cameron just letting Cowell be like, yeah, we've got to find these fucking blue people.

But then the New Zealander talking like, sorry, but this is a stretch too far. We've got the blue people. We've got the flying rat things, but I don't know that anyone's going to believe that a person would willingly talk like this. Yes, and also, I mean, as we're talking about, it's probably filmed in New Zealand, so he's not even allowed to use his own accent in his own country.

Yeah, people being flown in, they get to talk however they want. I mean, I guess Worthington's doing an American accent too, but yeah, it is funny that Cowell... I mean, that must be funny, the two of them on set. Worthington like, God damn accent too, but yeah, it is funny that Cowell, I mean, that must be funny. The two of them on set Worthington, like, God damn it. I've had to get like dialect coaches and I've really got to like get into the vibe before I'm going out on set.

You know, I got to like get, you know, make sure I'm like talking to people offset in the American accent just to keep it fresh. You just get to turn up and go, ah, bugger me down. This fucking whale's pretty fucking big,

isn't it? Well now, see now, now I'm tempted to go watch it now. Yeah, maybe like when it comes out on Blu-ray, try and just get like an edit of just like the bits where Cowell's like... Blu-ray. Blu-ray. Where Cowell's just hooning around in the boat, harpooning a big whale. His bits, he's fucking great in it. Make a little edit for me and I'll watch that bit.

Yeah, yeah. Yes. What else have we got? Live shows, have we said that up at the back here yet? No? Yeah, not yet. Adelaide March the 11th at the Rhino Room at 2.30 in the afternoon. We announced that two weeks ago and I was more than happy to see in the first day of sales.

Not, you know, I mean, look, the running joke is Adelaide don't buy lots of tickets. That's fine. We put it in the first day of sale. There wasn't heaps. There was a good handful. And then to just look up the detail and go, oh, yes, no one from actually Adelaide buying them. Ah, classic. Very, very classic.

People traveling in for it. So, yeah, very, very Adelaide. But keep at it. We'll get there. Well, hey, I mean, we're traveling in for it. So, yeah, very Adelaide. But keep at it. We'll get there. Well, hey, I mean, we're traveling in for it. Yes. Is that something? I think that's something.

Yeah, so anyway, that and then there's all the Melbourne shows. In Morris House, of course. Morris House, of course. Great name. April 1st, 8th, 15th, 22nd. Just released their new logo yesterday. Yep. Any...

I mean, I've already got to go do... Any thoughts? Well, I've got to go do a heap of editing after I leave here already. Anything else? Do you want to just let rip and then text me when I'm on the drive home? No, I'll leave you with one less edit. It did remind me a bit of... this came up again on my feed, the, what was it, that like government agency that was like the,

was it a women's thing? It was like the logo was like a W and then like a rounded thing and it just, it looked like a cock. Do you remember that from during the year? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I love it because it's especially when it's a government agency, it just made me think like, you know, you always see when that goes out, like people go, how did they not catch this?

But then the reality is it's like if you work in a government organization, it's very like stuffy, very serious. Let's say you do catch that. Like would you be comfortable like going up to a superior and being like, this looks like a cock? It is a tough one. Like I totally understand if you're like, you're a bit younger, you're kind of newer at the

job being like i don't want to yeah if they haven't seen it i don't want to be the one to bring this up yeah am i going to be in trouble am i going to be the one that comes up and says this looks like a dick and then nine other people go no it doesn't yeah and now you're just the guy that sees dicks i get fired for being a pervert it goes goes out anyway. What's the point? You've got your own dick out, jacking it off. It's like this. Don't you guys get it? See the reaction it's made in me?

I've seen a dick. It's made me horny. That's good. I'm doing this. That's proof. It's a Mad Men parody, but it's just like the guy. An ad agency brings in the world's biggest pervert. And they just have to vet every ad.

They have to put everything via him, whether it's like billboard or video, whatever it is. They've got to send it to legal, then they've got to send it to the horny guy. Yeah, he comes in and he's like, you know, they wheel him in like Hannibal Lecter style. He's got like the mask on. They put him in front of the TV. The mask over his hands. Yeah, yeah. No, his hands are like, like he's in an interrogation room room his hands like bolted to the desk yeah so he can't jack off yeah and they're like now is look at this logo look look at this logo for bp and he's like

ah bp ah big penis and they're like oh shit we gotta change the name of the company fuck uh all right um well anyway that's that that's the morris house logo made me think a bit of Name of the company. Fuck. All right. Well, anyway, the Morris House logo made me think a bit of that. Something's going on there. All you perverts, get around it. You be the judge when you come in and see the live shows on April 1. Yes, because we will have the logo displayed proudly behind us on stage. It'll be on the front door.

If you walk in, once you're seated and you've got an absolute red rocket, we'll know. We'll know what's happened. Does the logo make you horny? So get along to those shows. All those tickets can be found at littledumbdumbclub.com. Additionally, you can also find the link for our Patreon. You can go straight to patreon.com slash littledumbdumbclub,

or you can just not have to bother typing in that lumbersome URL. You can just click the links on the website along where you can find t-shirts that we have on sale as well. And we do get ad money. It's a one-stop shop. Yeah. We get ad money from patreon.com slash littledumbdumbclub if you click the link that's on littledumbdumbclub.com.

Oh, great. Perfect. We're sponsored by ourselves. Yeah, they advertised on us. Right, right, on us so we get some of those sweet seo uh dollars into the account ideal setup but you go into the drawer to get your name read out in the back end of the episode yeah could be right now could be it is gonna be for however many of you it's um some of you are in the car right now your lucky number's

about to come up no idea that you're about to be immortalized and uh some of you are in the car right now. Your lucky number's about to come up. No idea that you're about to be immortalized. And some of you won't listen for about four weeks, and then you'll email in and go, I haven't had my name read out. And I'll go, yes, you did. Start listening to the show. Yep. Or, yeah, you'll finally get around to it.

You'll post in the Millionaires Group on Facebook with very specific references to what we said, and I'll look at the post and be like, I feel i'm in a fever dream i have absolutely no idea what this person yes never seen this name before in my life yes remember when you said my name sounds like marbles no no what's that mean yeah great riff from tommy i'll take your word for it sure was it was it was it done more than two days ago? Then I have no memory of it. Oh, fuck two days. That's generous.

Thank you very much to first cap off the rank, Patreon subscriber Sam Andrew Thompson. Okay. Yep. Sat. Yep. So they're one of these people that think, well, I don't want to get mixed up with any other Sam Thompsons

that subscribe to the show. I'm going to whack my middle name in there and give it a little bit of difference. I mean, that must have happened. Let's say you ever go to a cafe. Maybe this doesn't happen to you because Carl's a unique enough name. But you give your order. They ask for a name.

And then if they're busy enough, they're like, oh, we've actually already got a Carl order. Can we have the last initial? Yeah. Just imagining that happening. John. Oh, we've got a John already. Oh, no.

We've got a Sam already. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Fair enough. That makes sense. Sam T. We've already got a Sam T. Just give me the full name.

Yeah. Sam Thompson. There's actually already a Sam Thompson. This is unbelievable. I mean, as you can see, we are slammed at the moment. Sam. Sam Thompson. Yeah. There's actually already a Sam Thompson. This is unbelievable. I mean, as you can see, we are slammed at the moment. Sam A. Thompson. Oh.

Yeah. All right. Samuel Andrew Thompson. Yeah. All right. Okay, done. We'll put that order through. Lock it in.

Done. Hang on. Is that the people at Patreon.com that are taking that order in? Yes. Is that what's happening? Yes.

This is at like the one Patreon bricks and mortar store that they have. The walking Patreon shop. The one that's left. They all got closed down and went digital about 10 years ago. That's great. Yeah. If you had that and you had a drive-through option as well. Well, because Patreon, most people don't know this,

but what it started out as was a company where you would mail in your money to them and then they would post you podcast episodes to listen to. Put the cash in the envelope. Yeah, and then they went digital. You had to put the cash into a little birthday card and send it to Patreon. Perfect. And then they would send you your bonus episodes and whatnot. And then maybe your name would get printed in the paper. Yes.

Yeah, and then one day, you know, it all kind of... In the Patreon times. Yeah, tech caught up and they went went let's just take this thing purely online and now they're booming i remember that back when i was uh when i was a little kid with my mom signed me up as a member of night rider oh yeah that's see that's the difference in generation i vividly remember being a patreon of agro's agro'sion. Right, right. Yeah, and Agro reading my name out. Ah, Tommy Dasolo. Yeah, what? Ah, more like Tommy Little Dousehole Alone.

Yeah. Well, I got the same when Kit read my name out. Right, right. Oh, the pasting I got from Crikey the Clown was the happiest day of my life. Michael, a young little boy called Carl signed up to our Patreon. Again, this is another great.

We've come up with two that are almost too highfalutin for funny fellas. But the ad agency pervert and the, yeah, old TV, like Fred Flintstone. Fred Flintstone, like, doing the dishes and then, like, the little dinosaur that's washing up, turning the camera and going, thanks, John Smith. Yes. My dad signing up to the Flintstones Patreon and bam, bam, going, Robert Chandler! My grandpa at the cinema and the train as it's coming towards the screen

being, beep, beep, Douglas Robertson. screaming, Douglas Robertson. Patreon throughout history. Patreon throughout history. That's a good sketch. This is so good. And we could,

you know what, we actually could put this together. We just get some clips and we just dub over them. That's good. If we put the time into this, if this was like, if this was the catalyst for us launching a TikTok account, I wonder if it would get any traction.

Yeah. That's good. That's a good riff. Sam Andrew Thompson, you've come out well out of this. Good on you. We sat our SATs and we fucking came out as winners. I'd love to sit on SATs face. Oh, yeah.

Tony Little, the other thing I was going to jam in about five minutes ago before this got good was you saying all of that. Let's just have a real cool down. Yeah, yeah. You saying all that stuff about, you know,

there's already someone called this or whatever. And you saying, well, Carl's quite a unique name. You wouldn't get this a lot. Well, you're actually dead wrong. At Morris House, knee.

Oh, yeah. There's a person that works there called Carl. Not only the person that works there, the manager that's there is Carl. So there's a lot of times where it's like, I'm answering to Carl. Oh, not that one. So, of course, what do I get called? Because there's two different Carls.

Carl 2. No. Little Carl. Come on, have a think about it. Comedy Carl. Exactly. Comedy Carl. Is that worse than Little Carl or Carl 2?

It's just what I should expect and what's perfect for this show and everything. Comedy Carl. To hear, like you see like junior assistant managers and just kids that are in there that are bloody 19, work while at the bar and you see them just go, Carl needs this. No, no, not that one. I mean, you know, comedy Carl. Yeah, that's interesting because I will say, and I've spent a fair bit of time around, well, what's he called?

Does he just get to be Carl? I think he gets to be Carl. Okay, just straight up Carl. Yes. I've spent a bit of time around him through us doing shows in there. Yeah. But I will say now it's all kind of coming into focus where there have been a few times where I've walked in there and maybe it's like they've just opened or they're setting up

and I've got like the big bag of like recording equipment with me. Like maybe we're doing a pod down there and there'll just be a, you know, staff member being like, can I help you? And I'm like, oh, I'm just here to see, I'm just doing something with Carl. And then there's very much like, oh, of course. Yeah, right. Because they think I mean, you know, the manager. The actual boss, not comedy Carl.

Not comedy Carl. Not the fucking little clown. Comedy Carl. Jesus. Yeah, that's rough. But you wouldn't be in a position where you're having that in a cafe. I mean, you're copying it enough in your day-to-day work. But, like, you go to order, like, a sandwich or whatever.

Yeah. You're not in... I would imagine... I reckon you could count on one hand the number of times you've been asked. Sorry, we need an initial for that. Yeah. We've already got another Carl on the dockets. My only memory of that is honestly grade two. There was another Carl.

Like, you know, I've lived the first six years of my life with no other Carls, especially in Maryborough. And even then, it's a car with a K. Yep. But then another car with a K moved to town in my class. Fantastic. All of a sudden, I had to be Carl C for an entire year. That's crazy to me because it's like before meeting you,

I'd never met another Carl in my entire life, even just at a party or anything. Never run into one, ever. Crazy. I went through a crazy spell where i would have talked about this at the time every time i ordered something and had to give a name it was coming out wrong i was getting dom yeah i famously when i booked a table at the pub for grand final day they put it down as pom which is just nothing yes and then my friend called up to like get a table to like

book a second table next to that table and allow my friend called up and booked a table and they were like oh yeah she called earlier so that's good oh yeah that's right um and then there was one time where i get my cough and like i'm sitting there and they're just calling out the name mike right and they're like you soy flat white i'm like yeah and they're like here's your coffee i look it's like this has got mike written on it right that doesn't sound phonetically similar in any way. No. But it's dried up now. Yeah.

I really was pretty, I was loving it at the time because I was like, how far is this going to go? Yeah. I think Mike's the conclusion of it. Yeah. Tom, there's not, if you had to design the most simplest name, I don't reckon you could get much simpler. Monosyllabic and very common.

It doesn't get any easier than that, folks. And I reckon O is the easiest one as well. Yeah. In terms of a vowel in the middle of three letters. Getting Dom once or twice, I understand. Right. That's like it's loud, sounds very similar. That I can give a pass to.

Pom, it's not a name. It's not a word. It's not anything. I would say anyone called Dom would be getting Tom one million times more. I think so. Than people called Tom getting Dom. Because I'm going in, it's got like a harder sound at the start. So I'm going in with that.

It's just more common. Yeah, yeah, yeah. True, true. Right, and if you're a Dom and you're regularly getting Tom when you go for a coffee, maybe we can swap lives. A freaky Friday where it's like our lives are basically the same, but one of us is called Dom and one of us is called Tom. And at the end, the big takeaway is just like, oh, you know what?

Getting coffee was a little easier today. Yeah. That's all. But you know what? Apart from that, not really much different. It sounds like a great show. Just another white guy that I switched bodies with. What a great experiment.

All right. Well, thanks, Sam Andrew Thompson. Sam. Thanks, Dan. You got a lot there. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Jared Williams. Okay. Now.

All right. Hey, look. You think there's not much going on there, but there's something going on. Because you know what? You know how Jared is spelt. J-A-R. Yes. A.

Ding. The letters on the Wheel of Fortune board are going ding, ding. Yep. Okay. J-A-R. Ding. See, now it gets tricky. Yes.

The fact that you've signposted this makes me think that there's trickery afoot. Well, not trickery afoot. Not trickery, but you know. Yes. Makes me think that there's trickery afoot. Well, not trickery afoot. Not trickery, but, you know. Something. I mean, I just watched Glass Onion the other night, so I'm in full Benoit Blanc mode. Okay. Just detectiving my way through this. Right.

Looking for a motive for this guy's name. I think you should be able to find... Motive and opportunity. You should find it. You should know me by now. All right. I'm going to... Second R. No. going to... Secondar.

No. Tommy. Okay. Do I get another go? Sure. Come on. Why would I bring this up? Why?

Motive. No, no, no. That's my guess. Oh, what? No, no. Fuck me. Patreon, who's on first Who's on first

Sam our last subscriber That's another one that we put in there Who's on first Mister Who's on second Comedy What Being a Patreon supporter of Abbott and Costello

Okay no Okay J J A R E D Jared Jared The same spelling as the one from Subway Okay, no, okay. J-A-R-E-D. Jared. Jared. The same spelling as the one from Subway. The bloke in jail. Oh, sure, sure.

The most famous Jared of them all. Do you think this is... Jared Williams. Did you see the thing this morning about a quite prominent British comedian getting done for... I did, certainly. I did see that. Yeah, I saw that come up on Twitter. Not that prominent.

I would say people that listen to this probably might not know. Might not, but I saw him when he came out here. I liked his act. When you were quite young? Yeah. Right. He pulled me out of the crowd. I was a participant in the show.

Really? No. He pulled me out of the crowd as a participant in the show. Really? No. Well, what we're not saying is what you saw on Twitter, what he's in trouble for. Is that what you're saying?

Yeah, child pornography. Yeah. Being in possession of. In possession of, that's right. So he's a guy who does characters, and one of them's like a, you know, pretty goofy. Yeah. You know, not a million miles off like a, you know, in extras, like the character that

Ricky Gervais is doing that very kind of like goofy looking guy. And the first site that I read about it on, they've just used his straight up like headshot of just him out of character. And it's like, okay. And then another site that has the story, it's on the main page and they've just used his straight up like headshot of just him out of character. Right. And it's like, okay. And then another site that has the story, it's on the main page and they've just done him so dirty. Like they've got the photo of him in the character and he's got like the silly wig and the silly glasses.

And it's like, this guy's been charged with childbirth. It's like, fuck you've done. I mean, I know a person like that doesn't deserve a fair go, but it's also like, you've fucking done him dirty here. I thought the same. You really... I screenshotted it immediately. It's pretty tough.

It's like you've gone out of your way. But you have handed yourself up. Absolutely. Look, I know it's like, oh, fair go, but it's also like, I don't know, man. Come on. I did read the article where it was like, the reasoning. He's reasoning behind the possession of child pornography. Pretty crazy stuff, isn't it?

It's really up there with, what's his name, the bloke out of the band The Who, where he was like, no, I have possession of those pictures so I can track the real culprits. Well, you know what? I was thinking about this this morning and like yeah it's always a story like this and i'm sure like yeah nine times out of ten it's complete bs but you know there might i always think about like there must be like at least one in the mix somewhere in history where like the story is legit yeah and how awful that you know that would be if it is just like genuine circumstance or whatever but this guy's story is so he he's

like oh i downloaded just a huge bunch of adult pornography that there happened to be some images of children in which first of all just downloading your porno in this day and age it's like committing it to the hard drive yeah and then seeing the images and being like well that's not what i'm into i mean i could delete them but it's just easy to leave them here and just never look at them since I'm not into that. But what's the next bit that he did? Then the next bit is he wanted to sell his phone on eBay. Yeah. So he gave it to a relative to sell for him.

And then they look through the phone. They're like, better do my due diligence with this phone before I sell it. Very odd. There's just too many odd things in it for me to go, oh, yeah, yeah, no, story checks out. It's a bit too, it's kind of that thing that people do where they're like, I'll add on, I'll just keep putting all these details in

and then that will make it more believable. Yeah. But it's sort of like, well, none of this makes sense now. Yeah. Like, just say someone borrowed my computer and downloaded it. You know what I mean? It's like, that's more believable than like, oh, I gave my phone to a relative. Well, look, there's a reason something bad's about to happen to him, you know?

Yeah, sure. There's a reason he hasn't gotten out of it. Sure, sure. Yeah. Anyway, Jared Williams. That's you. Yeah. That's you in big pants.

You know when Jared from Subway lost a lot of weight? Yeah, and he's pulling them out. So then he pulled those pants out just so he could fit more kids in them. Yeah, nice, nice. That's good. Yep, yep, yep. Is he still in prison? I believe so.

You'd assume so, right? Yeah. Let me literally so, right? Yeah. Let me literally type Jared from Safeway. Not Safeway. Safeway. Jared from... The tucker bag getting put away for being a pedophile. Jared from Subway.

That's a good biopic sort of doco thing. It's like the person working... The people working at Subway when that breaks. God. Yeah. He is, let me see.

Is he still in there? That's weird because, you know, it'll say, oh status, he's in jail. Avatar 2 is on your TV. Maybe we'll get a glimpse at Brendan Cowell.

Oh yeah. Zooming around. Is that him? No. Is he playing that Stingray? That's him there. Is that him? No. Is he playing that Stingray? That's him there. Is that him? No, it's not him.

That's him. Currently incarcerated. Right. He's still in the slammer. Still in the big house. Is he up for parole at any time or is he going to die

in the clink? You don't get life for... I don't know exactly what he did. Did he have... He received... I think there's been too much talk about this subject so far on this show. Did he have? He received. I think there's been too much talk about this subject so far on this show.

Let's leave it. That's completely fair. Let's leave it at that. He was sentenced to 15 years, 8 months in 2007. He's nearly out. He's nearly out. He might be out this year. He's out this year.

Maybe he should have been out last year. I smell a live show. He should be out. Free the Subway One. You've got to imagine his life when he's out, just like any time he's walking anywhere. You know how it's like, and this is the last thing I'll say and then we'll get off the topic, but when you're convicted of that,

you can't live near a school, all that kind of stuff. If there's an extra thing in his release, you're not allowed to live within this radius of a subway. Wow. They step in and they're like, look, if anyone ever photographs him outside one of our stores, that's bad for us. If he especially, like just a sign behind every one of them,

do not serve this man, especially cookies. Yeah, grainy photo of him, like, when a newsagent does someone for having shoplifted. It's like, don't ever. Don't tell him any apple slices or cookies or anything that he can lure anyone in with, please. That is, I mean, just imagine him rolling into a subway, just being like six-inch meatball just for old times' sake.

I don't think you're... He really had a hankering in prison. I don't think you've got a hankering for anything with six inches in it, I'll be honest. I think that might be the first one of them that's ever been... I bet when he was convicted and it's like all the late night shows are doing their six-inch puns, he must have just been like, God,'t have i've had sponsorship with like jenny craig or like something that doesn't have this kind of affiliation this is really gonna dog me for the rest of my life and what a shame i mean as a um someone you know as a as a convicted pedophile

he's he's coming out of jail at age 45 just coming into your prime as a pedophile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. Speaking from experience as a 46-year-old. No, that's the cliche. That's the cliche, guys. Like, it is a bit weird being in your late 20s, being dogged as confirmed as one of them. I don't know. That's a weird age for it. I'm barely out.

Like, straight away at age 18. I've got bad news for you. All right. Yeah, let's get off this topic. Thanks, Jared. That's a weird age for it. I'm barely out. Like straight away at age 18. I've got bad news for you. Yeah. All right. Yeah, let's get off this topic. Thanks, Jared. That's done. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber.

All right. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Let's say this. I don't have your full name. This is through your email address. Okay. Riley Hug. If that makes sense to you, that's the majority of your email address.

I feel like we should be reading you out. Riley Hug. Is it short for Huggington? Is it short for something else? Huggleberry. Yeah. Would that be it? Well, maybe.

I mean, you said before Free the Subway One. You know those guys you see holding the signs that say Free Hugs? Oh, yeah. Maybe this guy, I mean, we're not as tapped into the news as we could be. Maybe Riley Hugg is some kind of like political prisoner and all the, you know, all the signs you see saying free hugs are about him. Oh, yeah. Okay.

So he might be in jail with... Jared. With Jared. For the same offence? Well, not necessarily. I mean, not necessarily. If you want to draw that conclusion, that's up to you. Right, okay.

But, you know, it could be. It could be. It's possible. Imagine having the surname Hug. You'd like to think it's a beautiful life. It's. What about if we had a Patreon subscriber? I mean, we've talked about people listening to us in jail before.

Yes. But if we have a Patreon subscriber in jail and we're just being sent cigarettes or something every month that would be through the patreon yeah right that would be great so it's you're sending the cigarettes to patreon patreon just selling them and then converting the money that way well it's like how does it work i remember on serial and also in john saffran's book the um his first like true crime book that he wrote, anytime you – like when journalists are trying to get interviews with people who are in prison, a lot of the time it's like – I don't know.

I doubt the Australian jails work exactly the same, but in the American ones it's like, yeah, you've got to send me an iTunes gift card and I'll do the interview with – and they're constantly on the hook for like, I need another $30 in iTunes gift cards. And then however it works where they're able to use that as currency in there or whatever it is. So it's like, yeah, just them having to get onto Patreon and be like, yeah, now I can't pay cash. I'm not allowed to have my own bank account in here.

But I can send you $10 a month in iTunes gift cards. I've got a journalist who's interviewing me for a story so I'm going to funnel that straight into this Patreon and then if you can email me the bonus episodes that I can listen to

on my half hour of leisure time each week. In the yard. In the yard. Airpods in. Yeah. Just busting a gut.

Just getting railed in the shower after dropping the soap and just going See you, mate. And just going let me put railed in the in the shower after dropping the soap and just let me let me put the earbuds in and just drown the exactly ball slapping against exactly yeah well it's not i mean you don't have airpods but it's like it's not the drop in the soap it's like sometimes you know if you got waxy ears those little airpods are slipping out yeah so you're in the shower block listen to a pod. Air pod falls out. Oh no.

I've got to bend over and pick this up. I know it's coming for me. You know what? I can just listen in one ear. It's fine. It's not a stereo experience. It's just vocals.

It doesn't really matter. It's not the Bohemian Rhapsody of podcasting. It's fine. Very good. Anyway, that's... That's Riley Huggs. That's Riley Hugg That's Riley Hugg

Hug We did the best we could with you Yep Thanks Riley Thank you very much Two-patient subscriber Lydia Doherty Okay

Yeah Don't mind the name Lydia Look this is This is a very good example Of the squeaky wheel Getting the grease The husband of Said Lydia Did send us a message to go, when are you getting around to this one?

Oh, Hubby's gone into bat. Yeah. That's beautiful. Yeah. Hubby's doing the fights for her. Oh, man. Yeah. Well, I reckon you'd like to think Hubby's getting a little payback,

you know, tonight when she hears this. Oh. This is the most romantic thing you can do for a partner. Yes. This is the, like, this is the modern day, rose petals on the bed, all that kind of stuff. That's out. Getting, demanding that podcast hosts read your partner's name out. This is.

God, that's romantic. This is Pistols at Dawn. This is fighting for her honour. She's like, she's in the car listening to this right now, just on her way home being like, God, I can't wait to give my husband a BJ when I get home and say thanks for getting my name read out. This is a cape over the puddle. That's what this is.

Pardon me, boys, but you haven't read my lady's name out on the pod yet. Yeah. That's what that is. So, to Mr. Lydia, to Mr. Doherty, I could say what his name was, but hey, let's... Well, he doesn't pay. Well, maybe, I don't know, it might be coming out of the... Is there any way of finding out whether this is coming out of some kind of joint bank account? Oh, I want to see if this guy, if the husband is subscribed as well.

Okay. Yeah. Interesting. I mean, that makes it even more beautiful. If he's just like, I'm happy to take a backseat, boys. It doesn't matter when you read me out. I just want to make sure the missus is taken care of. There's two subscriptions in the same household.

Has that ever happened before? Have we ever had any proof of that? You know what? I'm confirming. Yes. He does as well. He subscribes as well. Really?

What a family. So that's like they're both wanting their own separate RSS feed. When I say family, it's my partner. So who knows if they're officially. What do you mean? Well,

I mean, they might not live together so I shouldn't call them a family maybe. Oh, sure. I'd still say that's kind of a family. Sure.

Well, they got the same, they're married. Well, it doesn't say that. Oh, okay. Doesn't have the same surname. I mean, wow. Which again, doesn't prove anything. Okay, well that doesn't say that oh okay doesn't have the same surname i mean wow it doesn't prove anything well okay well that makes more yeah okay well that makes more sense this sounds like newer relationship hey maybe they met through the pod maybe they met yeah maybe they met maybe they met commenting on the being one of the like one person every like month that'll

like comment on one of the patreon posts maybe the most obscure forum available to little dum-dum club listeners maybe they met when this guy got his name read out and then she thought that's a hot name what a hot name yeah i'm gonna hit this guy up yeah right and looked him up yeah found him on facebook yes what is his name we we don't want to give him any extra air time we don't want to give him a second freebie or let me just find out if he's had his name? We don't want to give him any extra air time. We don't want to give him a second freebie or... Let me just find out if he's had his name read out or not. Okay. All right.

Yes, he has. He has. His name is Jack Egan. Jack Egan. All right. So at some stage we've made some form of jack me off joke off the back of that and she's gone... No doubt.

She's like, that gives me an idea. That sounds... Yes. I want the full dum-dum experience. Thanks for the inspo, boys. Yeah. So if that is how you met, let us know. Please.

If we've match-maked, match-made. Match-made, match-maked. If we've match-maked on this show, we'd love to. Yeah. If you like the sound, if you think any of these people on this show sound sexy, feel free, on their names, on Talking Dumb Numb. Feel free to hit them up. Yeah.

Feel free to use this as Tinder. Have you ever set anyone up before? Have I ever set anyone up? I don't... No. I don't think so. Okay. Yeah.

I don't think that's a great idea. Me either, especially as you get older. Like, I've got friends who are single, and my girlfriend will be like, oh, what about this friend of yours? You should try and... And I'm like, it just seems a bit kind of rude to be like, hey, you don't seem to be in control of this at all. Yeah.

I got an idea. How about this fucking bloke? It just feels a bit i've actively not done it because my wife has and uh over time has been like oh i've got single friends and you've got single friends i'm like absolutely not yeah i don't want those two to meet yeah it happened once before and ended badly immediately and i was like and i was like you look sorry uh all a lot of my friends are in comedy but I don't recommend anyone getting into relationships with them overall.

Yes, I don't think it's a very good idea. I don't want to hear about it when it ends badly and yeah, let's just push through other options. It's a lot of pressure that if it doesn't go well, it's like, you assured me. You came in and you really backed this. You know I'm looking for a forever partner. You thought this was that.

And it's blown up in my face. I'll always hear from my wife and wife's friends, there's so many shit men around. Where are all the good men gone? They're all terrible. I'm like, well, not in comedy. They're not hiding there. Absolutely.

So, yeah. But, hey, where all the good men are is hiding in the Patreon feed of our podcast. Exactly.

So, if you want to be match made through the, through the medium of Patreon. Through the unplanned, the unplanned love tester. The unplanned Tinder alternator. Yeah.

That would be great. Yeah. That would be great. Yeah. That would be great. But thanks, Lydia. Thanks, Lydia. Okay. Dr. Phil's starting. Is it?

You just have the TV on in the background all day, right? Not really. To be honest, you know what? I had this on and it was still on the kids' program. When you walked in, I thought, let's just put something else on yeah just for the background but yeah i don't it's like being in a pub just tv on barely paying attention to it this is honestly this is a very rare moment where it is not on abc kids oh sure sure i don't have it on apart from distracting blanket so i don't i don't watch anything i don't even watch the test match cricket this year.

I'm so off TV these days. Anyway, whatever. Let's do one more. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Oh, okay. Thank you very much to Jared Comedy. Oh, right. Yeah. Jared Comedy yeah that's um oh wasn't this that guy that uh we were actually paying him because he was really fat and he lost all this

weight from laughing at the podcast all right yes and then what happened after that that's a really good question yeah let me see if I can remember. I remember it was funny. I remember it was like a funny twist on like a real world thing. That rings a bell. It wasn't just straight up like a thing that happened in the real world. It was like a bit of a kooky take on it. I remember he actually subscribed to our Patreon.

Yes. But before we did the podcast, back when we were like five years old, before we did any form of comedy, we were like, why is he signed up for this now? Why is he big fans of us now? We're not even bringing out any content. We're just sort of walking to school past his house in short shorts. I wouldn't say that's great, but I had nothing, so. Well, thanks, Jared. Well thanks Jared

Thanks Jared And thanks everyone Who supports the show Patreon.com Slash LittleDumbDumbClub Get on there You get your two

Little bonus mini episodes Per week There are always lots of fun There are 300 In the back catalogue That you get right now LittleDumbDumbClub.com For tickets to all the live stuff

That's coming up And you get to Now get the opportunity Of having your name read out and have horny listeners hit us or you up looking for love. Exactly. Just based on your name. Yep. Thanks, guys.

And we'll see you next time. See you, mates.