The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 653 - Live! Harley Breen, Nina Oyama & Kyle Kinane

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS because this week we have technical difficulties at a live show! I know! Us! Luckily we're joined by our great pals HARLEY BREEN, NINA OYAMA and KYLE KINANE to help cool us down. Karl's been given a very well-timed gift before the show, Tommy's dressed like a little orphan and Nina's housemates have all injured their genitals somehow. PLUS, Karl mounts a mini solo show and Rad Dad crosses over with a hit television show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a great new episode recorded live in Melbourne with guests Harley Breen, Nina Oyama and Kyle Kinane. We have two more of these coming up in Melbourne, April the 15th and April the 22nd, don't we, Carl? That's correct. Come on down. These have been rippers so far. If you've listened to last week's and you're going to listen to this week's and you've enjoyed them, you can be part of the live studio audience. Please come and do that. We need you to make it sound to these weeks and you've enjoyed them, you can be part of the live studio audience. Yeah. Please come and do that. We need you to make it sound fun and nice and packed. And then we're off to Brisbane May the 20th.

Yeah. On the Saturday afternoon, heaps of fun. Come along, support the show. Come and say hi to us. Come and, as you'll hear on this episode, come and give us presents or whatever. Yeah. Make some content. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for all those tickets.

We'll talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dumb Dumb. But until then, enjoy this new one with Harley Brandino Oyama and Kyle Canade. Hey, mates! Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dassler and with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler!

Can we get this mic a bit louder? I feel like there's some eardrums that are still intact in the audience. Mate, the tech will fix it when he turns up. So, um... If we could get less bass in my mic and more bass in yours, that'd be great. Oh, when the show starts, it's going to be good. Am I turned off now? What's happening? What is happening?

Two into our second decade and still not running out of complaints are we folks good lord we've got Kappa's girlfriend running the tech from a side of stage as well so hey come on that's not fair

it's his fiance thanks very much sorry how dare you talk about my betrothed like that? Give me something good, Tommy. I'm full of bad energy. Oh, fuck. For a change. All right, let's go.

It's one of those rare... Fuck. How about just any of you get up and have a crack at this one today? I think we're both off it. Anything in this room. A friend of mine is, this might be a story, this person that's in this story could be in this room potentially. A friend of mine was on Tinder.

She was talking to, yep, shout out to one of the worst apps that's ever been created. That's a man that sent a few dick pics through there. Woo, the platform for my art yeah um my yeah my friend is on there she matched with a guy they were chatting about uh podcasts and stuff and she said oh what podcasts do you listen to and uh he mentioned the little dum-dum club oh i've heard of them and she said oh that's that's cool. I'm good friends with Tommy. And he goes, you're friends with Tommy?

You're 30 and he's 36. That's a bit fucking creepy. Which one of you fucking cunts was that? Was it you who wooed before? Question I think we're all asking ourselves. Did you just come from a doof or are you on your way to one? It's both, man. Have you been to sleep, man?

Are you okay? Are you up all night? What do you mean? Well, have you? It just looks like you've been... For the listener at home, paint the fucking picture, Carl. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. The theatre of radio, you fucking cunt.

Right. Guys, for people at home, Tommy is dressed like a fucking idiot. So... Thank you. God, it's a shame this one isn't being recorded, because it's going... It's going quite well so far. Oh, I'm glad we're enjoying it.

A guy wore these the other night. Their jeans had got little patches all over them and a guy, like a really cooked man, outside the venue after my show came up to me, not a million miles away from Matreya last week, if anyone listened or was at that episode, came up and he was like, Dude, I love those pants! And I and he was like, dude, I love

those pants! And I'm like, oh, thanks man. And he goes, did you make them yourself? Not meant as a burn. Just like a genuine question. I think that's your next move, making your own clothes. Yeah, yeah. I've designed some shirts for a

store here in the city, the Shaw store. And they've got some of my little designs on sale. I told my parents about it. My shirts are on the rack there and they've got a little shrine to me in the shop. It's pretty cool. I told my parents about it and to go check it out. They were like, yeah, we went and checked it out. Looks awesome.

Then the next day I was texting my dad and I said, hey, by the way, they're giving me some for free. Let me know if you liked any of them. I can get one for you. And he's like, no need. I already told the man in there that I'm your dad and made him give me one for free. Awesome.

Fucking great. Imagine being the dad of Nike. Just get heaps of free shit. Please call me Mr Nike Nike is my son How are you feeling? Have we shaken it off? Yeah, the knot in my stomach has loosened up one level

That pen is cracking under the force of your fist This used to be a texter You know what they say, pressure makes texters cracking under the force of your fist. This used to be a texter. You know what they say? Pressure makes texters. Oh, God, I could punch every one of you. I'd like to. I don't think I could.

Last week's episode was really fun. We did it right here. We had some great ones of you guys coming up after the gig and giving us stuff. I had three presents and they were all great. I had someone that I think thought it was a joke gift. Someone comes up to me and goes, oh, here you go, here you go. Thousand baht. Like,

ha, ha, ha, Thailand. I'm like, fuck yeah, that's 40 beers when I go there in about a month. That is jammed in a special department. That is jammed in his specials apartment. Like his gag being like, yeah, mate, you'll fucking use this when you go there next. You go there all the time and you being like, yeah, dude, I'm going there in a month. Like literally, I'm not even going to put this in the drawer at home. It's staying in the wallet. Have some chocolate, you fuckhead.

Oh, you got me. Then the other one, the other one was good, and we have talked about this a little bit, but I love this. Someone came up last week, and I forgot to say it last week, but someone comes up just before the gig, goes to the toilet, comes out of the toilet and then goes, oh, yeah, and just gives me $100. And I'm like, fuck, that's awesome,

but it's just weird coming out of a toilet with money and going, there you go. I'm like, did you earn it in there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just clocked off a shift. Was it already rolled up? Well, it got pushed through a little hole in the wall. But that made me think maybe we should have like a

you know, we've got Patreon. We should have an IRL Patreon tier. If he gives me a hundred bucks, I have to go back in the toilet with him or something. I don't know. Okay, yeah. The new Patreon tier. Give us money and we'll suck you off. Why are Patreon getting involved in this? We never would have been able to come up with this

without the crowdfunding platform. Yeah, without them getting 10% of our suck off. But yeah. Because you want to keep the tax man out of our earnings from Patreon, so you're thinking if people want to like go direct, what are some things that we could give back? Maybe we give them like a mini IRL mini episode one-on-one. Like if you come and give us that, we will give you a couple of five-minute diatribes.

I'd rather starve on the street. Actually, I would rather suck all of you off, honestly, than do a little mini podcast for you. So then third gift was then I walk off stage and someone just gives me the golden handshake. Someone comes up to shake my hand. And then go. Rolled up in there.

And rolled up in the handshake. What do you reckon it was? Any guesses? Amount of currency or country of origin of currency? No. Or potentially not currency at all? Anything That's great

Anyone got any guesses? What, what, sir? Office works card Office works card, oh no Rolled up in the palm That's a hell of an effort No, it was One of these beauties

Oh my god Eight of the finest dribblers money can buy. Some Valium in the handshake, but the great thing was he just shook my hand and went, Just come back from Vietnam. I'm like, Oh, thank you for your service. I was protesting it,

but now I'm on board. But also what I love was, Bayon News already opened as well, so a couple missing. Chomped on a couple. Yeah, got in trouble uh slept through my shift got fired from work can't be trusted with the valiums why don't you take one now yeah i mean i could say this any other way too but you really need to fucking calm

down i can't take a full one i'll'll be fucking dead. Like, I've got work to do. Fuck, a lot of you people really want me to have one. Yeah. Man, take all eight and then have some drinks as well. Anyone got a straight razor in their bag? Any rope merchants in the room? Do you want to do half? Shelve it.

Shelve it. Shelve it. My ass is going to go to sleep. Or do you want it numb for something else? Oh, he's actually doing it. This rules. This is awesome. I'll do half if you do half. No, I'm not. I can't.

I can't. Why can't you? I've talked about this so many times. I've tried to get a prescription for it, and my GP, because I have blood pressure issues, are like, you can't let this man have Valium or he'll fucking die. And I'm sorry. Content is not worth it.

This is mad. This is so good. This is the last time I drank and had Valium was in Costa Mui and I woke up in the morning with 500 less dollars than I knew. Literally. That literally happened. Absurd how many times you said that publicly.

Yeah, no memory of what happened and 500 bucks is gone. If I wake up in the morning and a thousand barters missing from my wallet, you're in fucking trouble. I need that. For more of these. What's the general time frame for a valley kicking in?

What, half an hour probably? All right. The back end of the show is going to be pretty fun. You've got to keep us posted on how you're tracking. All right. I heard that too, don't worry.

I thought that was Captain Snooze's sweet siren. The sleigh bells. It's just him riding a giant alarm clock through the sky. Although it will be tricky with this show whether this is kicking in or whether this show is just really boring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll keep you posted. What have you got to do after

this? Run six shows. So... Honestly, in this venue... Fuck, I'm gonna have another quarter. Well, we finally did it. We've transitioned into just being jackass. What if you did drugs on stage, man?

What if you did your mum's drugs on stage? What if someone handed you some pills, a person who you don't know... I didn't actually look at it. Viagra? Viagra? Fuck, is that guy here? Are you here?

No, he was here last week. Why didn't you come back? Oh, because you gave me some bad shit. Fuck. Can I have a look? What's it say on the back? Just nothing. It's fucking Vietnam's...

Diazepam. Oh, that's right. Okay. That's right. Great. Thank God. Oh, wait. Sorry.

I mean Something funny Pills that turn you gay We're back Finally another dose I'm not getting the fourth booster The fourth booster of being gay We're coming into winter It might start wearing off.

Oh, our guests have left. Okay, cool. Should we get our guests out here? All right, folks, please welcome into the Little Dumb Dumb Club Harley Breed, Nina Oyama and Kyle Kinane!

Hello! Well, you guys seem to have matured. Hello! Wow. You guys seem to have matured. It's so funny. While you guys were here taking downers, me and Harley were doing uppers. Yeah. So we're going to be fucking...

We both just had Ritalin. Yeah. We're going to be so smart and concentrate so hard. This is fucked. I haven't even had a beer. I'm like the designated driver of this podcast now. I got you, man. I'm playing even Steven over here too.

I'm just nice and easy. Nice. Good luck, guys. Good luck. Did you take Valium an hour ago, Kyle? I feel like I've been on it for about four days, so I'm all right. I'm about to do two of Carl's line-up shows, and I'm so happy you took a Valium.

It's going to be a wonderful gig. It's going to be like those nights that you're not there. It's so good. Physically or mentally, he's just checked out of the building. Just even, just feels better already. I just feel a little bit calmed down already. Knowing that it's like working its out of the building. Just even, just feels better already. I just feel a little bit calmed down already. Knowing that it's like working its way through the cysts. Yeah, knowing that I'm going to be okay at some point.

Yeah. I think we can all agree you're never going to be okay. Hey, talking about, we talked about Kappa's fiancé is here. We just got officially invited to Nick Kappa's wedding. That's true. We did. Who's paying for that wedding, do you reckon? Well, I'm paying you to work here, so I am.

Caitlin is doing a lot of work during the comedy festival here. Well, someone's got to. Yeah, well, it's directly for her wedding because Kappa is doing a free open mic somewhere in front of two people right now as we spoke. Caitlin getting home tonight and Nick going, how was work today?

And it's like, yeah, my boss got really high. It was actually good. You're someone's boss. But he's he's the quandary so we go into Kappa's wedding yeah

of course Kappa was on the notorious list of my wedding where he did not bring me a present or my wife in a way um

the one that you forgot to thank in the speech no no oh a different wife. Yeah. Kyle's got the look on his face of like you're watching

a TV show with your partner and you're coming in halfway through season two and just everything that's happening they're having to be like oh yeah, this guy killed a guy in the last season.

No, this show's in a whole different language. I don't know what you're talking about right now. Yeah, I was going to say oh man, sorry we've changed a bit since you were last here but then I remembered

no, we were pretty fucked then too. So like it doesn't matter. It's all right, Tommy's dressed like an orphan from a musical. Please, sir, may I have some more shit-ass pants? Yeah, I'm pretty lost, but I'm having a good time. So do I give them the present or do I go no present and go nil all? Is it a nil all draw?

What do I do? Do I be the bigger man? I can't see myself doing that. To be fair, it's not Caitlin's fault. Yes, you're right. Well, no, she did say yes. An empty envelope would be a cool gift Oh, that's not bad That's a nice way of sending a message

Or something that only Caitlin could get use out of Like soap Gotta get in quick, don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah Or a prosthetic testicle Oh, yeah Would Caitlin need that? Carl, this is a friend of ours that had testicular cancer.

No, no, no, leave it alone. Leave it alone. I like the story I'm coming off of. That's not a bad premise. We do the in-joke and then we go back to you. Now, Kyle, work backwards. What were we fucking talking about there? Wait, is he better?

So I know a bit of the story. Yep. And he's better? He's better, yeah. Okay, cool, cool, cool. Yeah. Congratulations. Yeah, we're not, I'm not.

No present to a man with cancer. That's what I thought you were debating. Yeah, yeah. The question I'm not posing, should I give anything to a dying man? No, no. Okay. He's all better, so now I give anything to a dying man? No. No. Okay. He's all better, so now I can be a cunt again. Okay.

You've got to be the bigger man. You've got to take the gift, I think. All right. Yeah, but I think you're right. Does not compute. I think, you know, as I'm mellowing in the last ten minutes, I think you're right. But I think that's good, a very Caitlin're right. But I think that's good.

A very Caitlin-oriented gift. I think that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something purely in the Caitlin wheelhouse. Did he ever come good and give you a gift? No. No. Don't you think that's...

I mean, I know because I've listened to every episode. I know. But would you say, don't you think that's being a bit of a cunt? Don't you think? Yes. Good. I'm glad you said that because you didn't give me a fucking present either. It's not true.

That is true. Now hang on, Kyle. The back story here is that... The truth is... Wait, Kyle. Kyle, are you married? Fuck. It gets worse.

He made a kid. What? Are you a dad? Fuck off, man. I am not on that list. I had a card. It was in my pocket. And then what happened? And then I gave it to you. You didn't. I definitely did. You didn't.

Man, go back and listen when we reveal. And I gave it to you live on a live episode. Oh, did you? Yeah. Fuck it. You've been on Valium this whole time every episode. This is what's happening. You've been taking more Valium than you've been listening. Does anyone remember that episode?

If that's on a live episode. Do you guys remember any episodes? No, don't pull that. Don't put Valium onto them. Who remembers that episode? I don't think that episode happened. Did it? No, there's about four nervous people

that just want to make me angry. You are Trump. No. No. Don't put a gas light in everyone's car. I know exactly what I gave you too and it was the best because I was on Breakfast Radio earning sweet coin and I just gave you

a hunji. So you're the good guy out of this? Fuck yeah. Like a hundred dollars? That's a lot of money. Not when you were earning what I was earning. It's a lot of money now because I know what I'm

paying you tonight. It's like I'm having two weddings. Harley, did you ever get a thank you for that? No, I never expected it. I mean, I'm going to go back and listen to every episode of this show to make sure that that actually happened. Oh man, you're going to have such a good time.

What a ride. What a journey we've been on in the last 13 years. Oh, God. Yeah. Sorry, Kyle. I'm still curious about if you lose a testicle. Like, does the one just stay over to the side or does it just hang in the middle?

No, man, it, like, splits in two, so you've got two little half testicles. It's crazy. That's mitochondria. Well, but it's like, you know, when you're single, you kind of sleep in the middle of the bed and then you get a partner and you have your side. They go away, you're still over your side.

You know what I mean? You've been conditioned. Yeah, it's like a second dick. It's like a chode dick on a regular dick. Is that right? No. There's a lot not right about that.

I have all the parts, but I'm pretty sure you're incorrect. It's like when a fish rides a whale. I think you're going to be wrong again. I think you're going to be wrong again. No, it's like a baby koala and a mama koala. We should say we've got some showbiz news that we have to report. Because, Nina, you're a big fan of the TV series The White Lotus. Yes. Lots of people in series The White Lotus. Yes.

Lots of people in this room probably love that show. Mike White is my lock screen. That's how you know I'm single. Somebody the other day was like, he's not going to fuck you. And I was like, I don't. He's my hero. But anyway, it's Mike White from The White Lotus. Mr. Schneebly, the guy who makes The White Lotus.

So there was big people might have seen this this week, big showbiz news. The White Lotus season three being set in Thailand. One guy's answer was, oh yeah. No, but it's like it's nearly a lock to be Koh Samui, that's the good thing, because like, they've got to have it on an island.

The chain that they always make it at is something in about three locations in Thailand, and Koh Samui's like the best one. I reckon it's going to be Koh Samui. This is the most like I'm actually internet nerd

I've ever seen you. It's going to have to be on an island and they always use the same chain. Unfortunately they wouldn't set a murder at a podcast festival

because no one would give a fuck who died. It's murder one day celebratory parade the next. It's like we don't need any more fucking podcasters out here. That would be sweet if we did another podcast festival next door

when they were filming The White Lotus. That would be fucking awesome. Or at any time in history, I would like to do that. Are you excited to see Koh Samui up there on the small screen? Yeah. Well, I mean, it'll just be you changing over from a webcam that you're already watching. And if Nick Capper went on the small screen. Well, I mean, it'll just be you changing over from a webcam that you're already watching. And if Nick Capper went on the podcast

at the White Lotus, he could call it the Right Scrotus. That's why she's getting the big bucks. She's on three weddings over there. $101, everybody. That's good. An incentive-based fee on the podcast. How many weddings you get paid for on the show. Alright, everybody. That's good. An incentive-based fee on the podcast.

How many weddings you get paid for on the show. All right, all right. It's our new form of currency. It's our Bitcoin. Yeah. Yeah. A wedding. A wedding.

One wedding. A widow. A hundred bucks is a wedding. A widow. That's good. Yeah. I don't mind that at all. More like shit coin.

It's been great to be here at your live writers' meeting. Yes. It's been great to be here at your live writers meeting I feel like this A story is very earned So Benita you're down here in Melbourne You're working on a TV show I am I can't say what it is But it's real

It's what? It's real It's a real show It's really? It's real. It's a real show. It's really happening. It's not just a thin leaf made of guys for me to

just get fucked up every night at the comedy festival. Aren't you allowed to say the show? I am but I'm not allowed to say that I'm filming on it

but I'm not allowed to say that it's filming now. Oh. I got an email about it. You know when you get an email and you're like

ah gotta do that. Is this a bit? Do you mean a job? Are you talking about having a job? Yeah. Yeah, and you're like, they send you a list of things you've got to do for the job, and you're like, yeah.

Yeah, in the email. Yeah, in the email. Then you've got to sign the PDF, you send it back, and you're like, got to do it now. Yeah. Yeah. No, believe it or not,

that's never come up for me and Carl, so we can't really relate. I mean, I didn't sign anything here to be here. Yeah. Yeah. No, believe it or not, that's never come up for me and Carl, so we can't really relate. I mean, I didn't sign anything here to be here. Yeah. Except for the end day. Just kidding. But you've been saying you're living down here at the moment. Yeah.

In Carlton, next to the Yochi. Wait, I actually do live there. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I'm going to move out in two weeks because I'm moving back to Sydney. Man, you are good at security Fucking well done Have you met Dumb Dumb fans?

Well done telling this room There's going to be like a line outside my house like a loon but it's just like all neckbeard dudes Do you want the quarter I've got left? Quarter of what, man? That sticky icky? Just let the Ritalin in the valley and fight it out. Fuck it, I'll have one.

No, I've got to do a gig. For you. Well, I don't. You're on it now. Shit. He's your boss. I've got a story. It's ridiculous, right?

Somebody keeps stealing my doormats at my house. And I can't figure out who... Oh, wait, it's this guy. Carly points to Tommy's pants. Carly, you've got the fruitiest fucking doormats, man. Ooh, a little leopard print doormat. Also, can you confirm this? Are you doing your show with a headset on instead of a regular mic?

Not anymore. As of right now. Are you going Madonna style slash Wiggle style in your solo show? Yeah, I have all these bits where I'm using kind of using both my hands at the same time. No, you're not. Okay, don't say it. That makes you sound like you're doing a dance routine. All Tommy does is regular stand up and then he answers a phone.

It's like, oh, I'm using both my hands. You answer a phone, cunt. You're not fucking singing and dancing. I'm fucking Tony Robbins up here in front of a fucking 30 seater room. I can't be picking up a mic It is one of the tiniest fucking TV I've ever seen It's so small, sorry, sorry, sorry, that's me Your show sucks, you've got a tiny TV in it

Yeah, nothing I can do about that Brett Bright came along the other night And was like, man, it's fucking ridiculous that you were in a headset mic in a 50-seat room. I'm like, not as ridiculous as when I wore it in Adelaide in a 20-seat room. But that was when you were performing Oliver the Musical. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a good argument to be made

that you don't need a microphone in your room at all. Yeah, no, there is, there is. But no, I've come to my senses. I'm using the good old... Oh, you're back, baby. The good old-fashioned, yeah, I'm back. You've got to use a microphone, otherwise it's a one-man show.

Yeah, exactly. And it's not comedy. Well, it also looks like just people are watching a call centre operator. So you've been bullied out of it. Did Blakey put you straight and now you're back? No, it just kept... It fucked up once and I was like,

I'm sick of this. And then immediately the show is so much better without it. I appreciate that aesthetic though, man. That outfit with a headset, Mike. Yeah. Like such an aspirational homeless man. It is disarming. It's like you walk out, you have that, you dress like this.

People go, who knows what the fuck the next hour is going to be. It could be anything. We could get scammed out of all our money just by being here. Can I have 20 bucks and how can I ... Fuck, I fucked up. Yeah, that tracks. I reckon it's kicking in. That value just dropped.

I was going to say, can I have 20 bucks and how can I direct your call? Worth it. Absolutely worth it. People being disappointed by that. Fuck. Soon you'll just be asking for 20 bucks and how can I direct your call? Worth it. Absolutely worth it. You hear that? People being disappointed by that. Fuck. Soon you'll just be asking for 20 bucks like Fleety style.

Yeah. You take too much value. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Sorry, duck. He's better now though, right? He's better.

He's better. What metric are we going by? Weight wise? He's real better. Yeah. He's massive. He's fucking huge. Definitely not on heroin. Tweets per minute, I reckon.

JK, sorry, pleading, sorry. They're probably going to mess me up. They're going to be like, what the fuck, man? And we're like, I'm sorry. Yeah, he's still a big mover in these parts. Yeah, yeah. Don't at me, bro. Friendly fire.

Yeah, that guy's crazy Part of the gang guys Do you want to swap seats So you're like No no I feel safe over here It's fine I feel like you're The directest commentary

Of this DVD It is You guys are It's just happening And I'm just watching I'm alright with it commentary on this DVD. It is. You guys are just happening. I'm just watching. I'm alright with it. Nita, you were saying that you've been living down here.

You've got some pretty cool sounding Melbourne housemates. Oh yeah, they're dope as fuck, man. They're so chaotic. Like, in Sydney I live with one guy. He's 34 years old and he likes jazz. Nothing wrong with that. And he's really cool if that's what you're into. No, he likes jazz. Nothing wrong with that. And he's really cool. If that's what you're into.

No, he's cool. But, like, my housemates right now, they're all, like, 23-year-old chaotic bisexuals. And I'm obsessed with them. Like, the first one that I met, we, like, sat down on the stairs and talked for, like, three hours. And at the end, she told me a story about how she split her clit by falling off her bike. What? Yeah, and she was real mad because she was like, my two favourite things, riding my bike and masturbating.

I can't do them anymore. And she showed me a picture of her fucked up, busted clit. This is day one? There's way more genital mutilation than I remember last time doing this show. Actually, a split clit is the opposite of losing a testicle. What do you fall on to split a clit? I don't know.

Did she just fall straight onto a pen or something? What chops it in half? How sharp do you think a pen is, Carl? Who's holding a pen? That's sharp. That's sharp. Really, a question asked by a guy who doesn't know where the clit is. Must be where your wedding present is.

What I like about Nina's story too is I've heard her and the last time you told her, we were out to lunch at a real fancy pants restaurant like a week ago and she told it exactly the same way at volume with a microphone and everything.

I was actually a Madonna mic. Yes. And I was on the phone. No, but she split a clit and she showed me the picture. It was crazy. It looked like a grape. It was like they did surgery on a grape, but it wasn't a grape. It was like they did surgery on a grape, but it wasn't a grape.

It was a clit. And it had swollen up. Is this okay? Sorry, Kyle. No, I'm still just... I'm actually like a really big fan of yours, and this is like the worst story I could ever tell anyone. Well, when you said chaotic bisexuals,

I just thought you meant like sexually, not just like they're bad at living. Like they're just clumsy. They're open sexually but real slippery around the house. Destroying their genitals through random accidents.

I'm just trying to picture. How do you fall off a bike and land click first? Again, no idea where it is. No, everyone Women know Like when you fall over The first thing that comes out Is your clip

To break your foot Right It's like a bike stand Men put out their hands But women are like It puffs up Yeah, yeah It's like a wear bag

In case of danger A clip puffs up Right, okay Okay, I get it I get it Well that's how I should be able to find her from now on. I just scare them. Yeah, you just have to push a woman over.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boom! Please inflate your clit first before helping children that are with you. There's a whistle attached to the clit for attracting attention. Don't try blowing into it if it doesn't inflate on its own though That's not going to make anybody happy I just like that you said inflate the clip Like if someone jumped out of a helicopter They just

You know if shit goes down it's never going to be actually helpful either What do you need a clip for anyway? No she says it's fine though. It's recovered. It's fully recovered. It's bounced back. It's bounced back. She had it in a cast. It's got stitches. Did you sign her a clip cast? I did. Did you have to re-break it first?

And then the pen that I signed it with broke it again. Oh no! Because it was so sharp! That always happens. The sharpest thing in the world. A pen. Oh, fuck. Yeah, anyway, so she split a plant and it's fine now. I asked her, I was like, is it okay? And she says, yeah, but sometimes I'm standing around

and suddenly it feels wrong. And then it's fine. But that's not the story that I was going to tell you. That's like the first bit. Just one you had up your sleeve, so to speak. That's just an anecdote. That's not a story. Yeah, it's just like a casual... That's a the story that I was going to tell you. That's like the first bit. Oh, okay. Just one you had up your sleeve, so to speak. That's just an anecdote. That's not a story. Yeah, it's just like a casual...

That's a Nina entree. It's a fun fact. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little tasty dish for what's to come next, which is... So this... A tasty, clitoris dish. No, so I was...

So, yeah, you were right that everybody's very open sexually. Like, it is... Open sexually? That sounds like a password. Yeah. To the... Open sexually. I got that. Yeah.

Like, open sesame. Absolutely. Anyway. So, yeah, everybody is pretty, like, liberated, I guess, is the kind of way of saying it. Did you say a freak? Yeah. Everybody's a total freak.

But, like, I have heard, I think, most of my housemates have sex at this point. And, you know, usually, like, they put on the music and, like, we all put on music in our rooms. That's kind of how you know what's going on. That's the only need for music in your house. Just dueling banjos. Yeah, well, that's how you know, right?

Because the rest of the time, we're all listening to the little dum-dum club, aren't we? So when we had the house music on before the show, were you just rubbing one out over there? Yeah, that's exactly what I was doing. I was shelving Ritalin into my pussy. Ha-ha!

Yeah, anyway, so I was in my house and I hear these noises and they're quite sexual. With no music? No music, no music. And it was like, ah! And then it was like, okay, it was more sexual than that. I don't know. Is there such a thing?

But it was like, it was... You bisexuals are so rude. Is everybody hard? It was like, I don't know if I can do it. It was like, ah! And then it... And I was like, that sounds't know if I can do it. It was like, ah! And then, and I was like, that sounds like a sex noise,

right? Yeah. And it was like that for ages and I was watching Survivor and I was like cranking it up and it's like soaring

over the Survivor and I was like, what the fuck? And there's like, my house- Is that another sign in your house as well? Like music for sex

and then Survivor for- For sex. For shit? Taking a shit turn for Survivor up later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's all these different sounds that... Anyway, do you want some Ritalin?

Don't mind the Valium, Carl. Yeah, do you want some Ritalin so I can bring you back up? I feel like I just gave Valium to them, but yeah. Yeah, there's all these little... Yeah, most people just put a sock on the door, but not us. We have a very complex list of rules.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know where this bit is going. I actually need to pee. Anyway. Man, that Ritalin has not kicked into you, has it? The what? Am I better?

Trying to wrangle thoughts like a loose herd of cows right now over here. Focus. Focus. I'm rock solid. I was going to say I'm rock hard. That's not true. But yeah, so. So you were about to buy noise cancelling headphones. Yeah, because the sounds were too horny.

And I went out of my room and my housemate was at the bottom of the steps. And she was like, Nina, have you ever whacked your pussy before? And I was like, no. Oh, and I went to, I looked at the room where, like, I thought the sex was coming from, because there's, like, housemates that are more regular sexually active than others.

Right. And that room was empty, and there was no one there. So she asked what question? So, yeah, so then I see Tish at the bottom of the stairs, split clit. It's good to name her. Yeah.

It's good to name her and then just give her a funny nickname straight after that. Well, she dates a lot of men that listen to this podcast, so I think... So Tish lives in Carlton. Lives over there, yeah. Opposite the Yochi. Or is it?

I think it is. Just look for the clit-shaped divot in the footpath out the front. The clit-shaped divot? She genuinely doesn't know what it is. From when she was in the street and a grand piano

fell on her clit. It's genuinely kicking in. Is it genuinely kicking in? Clip, strike, divot. Divot is the most I'm on the nod word. Divot. It's like the MoMA vagina wall, but it's just the clip. You know what, I've still got work to do. I've got to book about

five more comedians for shows tonight. I better start booking them now. Wait, do you want... I can go. Anyone else? Wait, what happened to the lady with the bald vagina at the bottom of the stairs? So Tish is at the bottom of the stairs

and she looks stressed and she's like, have you ever waxed your pussy? And I was like, no. Is she like laying like she fell? No. Yeah, yeah. And that's still her first question

And her clit is inflated and she's like, no, no, no. Did she say waxed or whacked? Waxed. Waxed, right. And she was like, I haven't.

I genuinely thought you said, she asked you, have you ever whacked your pussy? No. I'm like, am I missing out on something? Is that a... Okay. I don't know, Carl.

It sounds like something you've probably tried. Due to lack of knowledge. Anyway, so she was like... I mean, he made a baby, so you know, how bad can he be? Anyway. Did he? Did he? Did he?

Come on. Come on. Have another belly, Anne. Have some mummy's medicine. What is actually going to happen to me tonight? What? You wait and see, little fella. Oh, you're going to find the clitoris.

You're about to get that fourth booster. That's what's happening. I'm going to get my car back. You're going to get your car back. I don't know. In my opinion, Carl's had too many boosters. If you know what I mean. I still really need to know what happened to this.

I'm with you. You're killing me over here. We're edging. I don't know whether I just missed the end of the story. I've just woken up ten minutes later and I haven't told you. Yeah, it's 2025, Carl. Where have you been? Oh, no.

Thank God you're here. I'm Carl Van Winkle So yeah this woman was waxing Right waxing Not whacking right Basically she was like half way out the door Because I just came out to be like what is this sound And it turned out that she

She basically was like have you ever waxed your pussy And I was like no And she was like it's so fucked up. My flap is now stuck to my leg with a piece of wax and a clump of hair. And I have to go to Woolies to get a razor and some scissors to cut the clump of wax off of my... My labia is stuck to my... Who is your landlord, Jigsaw? This is fucked.

What's going on in this house? But it was just... It was so sad because I was like, I was like, somebody's having sex in my house, but it turns out someone was just like mutilating their own pussy. I'm very sorry I asked to hear the end of that story. I thought it would bring some closure, but it just brought so many more questions. So she's now just... She's stuck

to the legs. Is she just permanently gaping at the moment? Is she allowed to take a bath? He can say whatever he wants now when the Valium did it. Do you understand how a vulva works? I'm trying to.

He's learning. So Nina, by default, does this mean you have the best pussy in this house? Oh yeah. It's the least damaged. Wow. All right. Well, hey, speaking of comedy, do we want to get into a toilet break? How are you feeling?

I'll be right back. Go do a wink. I'll bring you back a beer, Nina. And a Ritalin. Oh, yeah? And a Ritalin. And a Ritalin? Does anybody else want anything from the shops? Just...

And you quit? I was going to say, just be careful in there giving the track record to the people around you right now. Well, I'll do my best impersonation of Kyle. Hey, kid, I'm going to go get some Valium and I'll be right back. Just kidding. I am coming back. I'll comeium and I'll be right back just kidding

I don't know okay see you later I am coming back I'll come back I'll come back alright it's alright mate I've got you covered

thank you do you have me covered oh yeah I got so many destroyed pussy stories I was about to about to lean into well I was implying

Kyle alright quick now that she's gone, let's talk about the girls we like. I'm back! I'm back! There it is! Sydney, sweetie! Just kidding, bye. Actually, we could have talked about the girls we like with her. I forgot.

Sydney, sweetie! She is, yeah. Correct. Right answer. I reckon Correct. Right answer. I reckon you'll get in. Yeah, should we... We have two things. Do we have time for both things?

Maybe we just do one thing. I think we do. The next gig after this is your gig, so you can just decide what happens here. Yeah, I know, but I'm making so much more money off the next gig, so I need that to be on time. So am I.

What do we can do both Lightning round style I think you want both of them to happen Because one of them will inflict A fair amount of pain on me And we've been so nice this far Yeah what do you think We got like I reckon we got time

We started late I'm going to give these people A fucking show Alright Alright Alright Okay Alright

Alright Well so Cause we were talking about My solo show before And you're not doing a solo show I'm not This year Yeah

And I've seen a lot of people Like message I like that you Sorry I like that you said This year Like it's an anomaly That he's not doing a solo show

I've done ages of solo shows Yeah I just haven't done it Yeah about a decade ago No Alright You know what Maybe we don't have time He's not doing a solo show. I've done ages of solo shows. Yeah. Yeah, about a decade ago. No. All right. You know what?

Maybe we don't have time. If it's going to be like this. We're going to argue about the intro. No, it's fine. Whatever. Whatever. So, like, yeah, a lot of messages, you know, people going, like, you're doing a show this year and you're not. And, you know, I kind of feel like...

Not that many, but yeah, go on. You probably, like, got a bit of FOMO. Yes. That, you know, you're not... You're hearing about me up there. I'm doing a lot of admin. With the headset mic and thinking like, that could be me. I could be the girl from the Amy insurance ad.

And clearly you're killing it by the sweet threads you're buying. Yeah, he's making salvo money. So, why not? Like, you know, we've got an audience here. Why not, why don't we put up a solo show of Carl Chandler at the 2023 Melbourne International Comedy Festival? We can just do a mini Carl Chandler solo show right now within the pod. Right.

What do you guys think? And only, like, we don't have a lot of time so I can't fit an hour into the next eight minutes. Yeah, maybe you could just do five then. Like all of your other solo shows. I've got a few titles here. Tell me which one Oh, these are working titles for

this show you're about to do. Carl Chandler, 50 Years Young. Factually incorrect, so I'll nix that one. This one kind of plays on the style of what you do. Carl Chandler, riddle me this, why haven't I killed myself? Oh yeah, alright.

You could do this and go, riddling me this. That could be your show. Carl Chandler's $30 trial show. Carl Chandler spends an hour making show. Yeah, I know that. Carl Chandler spends an hour making every other comedian at the festival look really good. By complimenting them. Yep.

Carl Chandler makes the audience think that they could give this stand-up thing a crack. So am I supposed to say yes to one of these? Yeah, pick your favourite. Carl Chandler, how does he remember it all? That's a good question right now. And then this is my personal favourite. Carl Chandler, stick to admin, cunt.

That's a show I would name myself And want people to come see it Stick to admin Okay so Yeah so What do you think What are we calling it Look that's fine Stick to admin

Carl Chandler Stick to admin Carl Chandler's Stick to admin cunt hour Yeah You're gonna do a mini I think it should be called Carl Chandler's Valium hour

And then it goes for five minutes Cause then I don't remember 55 minutes And no one else does. Carl Chandler talks about the clitoris for 50 minutes. I think there'd be a lot of riffing. Okay, yeah, sorry, sorry. So you're going to do just a mini set for us, just a mini solo show.

Oh, God, because I haven't got a show. I've got some names of jokes on my phone that I tried out at Spleen a couple of weeks ago. So that's all I've got. Yep. So that's my show. Okay, that's my work in progress. This is your work in progress show. Like all the greats do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So, all right. So we'll set this up properly. Caitlin, can you get the walk-on music ready? Oh, do I? Ladies and gentlemen, here he is. Please welcome to the stage.

You hear this music and you know that it's time for comedy you've seen him on CCTV please welcome to the stage Carl Chandler fuck boo your phone told you to look at your notes? Honestly, I'm now in a state where I looked at the name of the jokes

and went, no, I need more information Phone in one hand, notebook in the other Someone could use a headset, Mike, I think Already Already Already this five minutes is more complex Already Already this five minutes is more complex than Tommy's show A callback in the first minute I haven't said a word in my own solo show

for the first two minutes so that's good And it's been the best solo you've ever done Oh, Nina's clit's broken Yeah, sorry, I squirted best solo you've ever done. Oh, Nina's clit's broken. Yeah, sorry, I squirted. Actually, I've got a lot of hard truths in this stand-up. I'd better take the stool. Oh no, he's sitting

down. Next thing you'll have shorts on. No, I'd better stand up. I don't want to be that guy. Yeah, man. There might be awards judges in here. Come on. Oh yeah, they better stand up. I don't want to be that guy. Yeah, man. There might be awards judges in here. Come on. Yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, they're definitely here. Yeah, Kyle, just got a message that said

you should come to the hi-fi right now. Because Susan Proven's going to come bash her. I like your confident stage presence. Well, considering how much shit I've got put on me I haven't even done a joke yet. I'm sort of lacking a little in confidence. It's the preparation I'm loving. Shut up, you're not doing a solo

show either, you cunt. This is now the roast of Carl. Oh, now. Wait, is this Carl Barron's show? Oh, it's Carl Chan. Oh, now. Wait, is this Carl Barron's show? Oh, it's Carl Chan. I don't want to do comedy anymore. Am I doing it?

Alright, here we go. I think the person who invented the marching band must have been watching a regular brass band and thought to himself, what if I told them to fuck off? I like this cunt. Everyone laughs and he goes, it's not bad. No, the people have stolen, cunt.

Shut up, Margaret and David. What a great up-to-date reference. Have we met? Do Arnie. This is a tough crowd. I better bring out the good stuff. Fuck, we don't have the time. God, it's not until now that this has really been held up to a fucking strip light. This is...

This is the worst rehearsal for a gala spot I've ever seen. Yeah, can't wait for that spot. I like the marching band chunk. Thank you. I think it's got legs. Thank you. Oh, what? Yes, the great man.

Thanks, Tim Vine. Yeah, man, that guy's nuts. For the American, Tim Vine is Britain's Stephen Wright. No, he's not. He does puns. Doesn't Stephen Wright also do puns? No, you idiot. Did you think that marching band was a pun?

I don't know what a pun is. Yeah, bust her, Clint Carl. Have we still got time for this? Can this be a three-joke show? Yeah, do three. Let's hope we can get to three. The show's going long. Do less than five jokes in your entire show.

Getting the light after one joke. Do Liquid House. Shut up! Stop positively heckling me. Yeah. Come on, guys. We're getting in the way of nap time. I am struggling.

Oh, we know. I would have been struggling without the thing anyway, but yes. All right. I think onions are like small children. I always cry when I'm chopping them up. Ooh, dark. Ooh. Hey, not all of my three joke show can be good.

All right. show can be good. Go for anything now. What? Go for anything? I still like that marching band joke. It had a good rhythm to it. Yeah. Excellent.

Thanks, Stephen Wright. I was in a marching band. Were you? Yeah, and I lost my virginity at 22. Were the two connected? Did you lose it to the tuba player? It was the trombonist behind me. That is the best thing I've heard all festival.

Are we now getting Harley's solo show Within Carl's solo show Within the podcast Has he done Has he done more jokes In my solo show Than me now

This is This is Harley's Hard hitting Dramatic solo show About how he got Raped by a trombonist Harley brings Nanette Alright

Best part is I was the trombonist I don't even know How that works I don't think We're getting Have we got time for the second bit? Let's do it.

No, we... One more, one more as an encore because you guys screamed fine. Here we go. All right, all right. I walked past an escape room. The owner was outside. He'd locked himself out

and I was like, man, that must be a good one. Look, there was a slight stumble but it's not a bad bit. 33% of my show had stumble in it. Yes. Anyway, thanks everyone.

Good night. Yeah. If you like to tell your friends I'm Carl Chandler. If you hated it, I'm Nick Capper. I like how I've done this on Dumb Dumb.

It's like I've burnt my good gear on the gala down here, you know. That's your good gear? Shut up! Sorry. I was walking past an escape room and...

Alright, we've got to do one more thing quickly. Boy, if you guys didn't like that, well, have we got a trick for you.

If you didn't like scripted jokes, you were in for a hell of a fucking bad time because here comes an episode of Australia's longest running

and most popular radio serial called Rad Dad. Fuck it out. Jesus Christ, you're still doing this. I mean, I know. I don't know what this is.

No one knows what it is. I don't know. Fuck. So, Nina, when it says Nina, that's you. Man, I didn't sign a contract to do this shit. Is this a script? Yes. You work in TV.

You're on a TV show? You're a writer. Yeah, it's not formatted like this. Oh, yeah. Sorry on behalf of Microsoft Word. Download Celtics, cunt. Come on. Yeah, all right.

You don't have a fucking paperclip talking to you on your dog shit. Right, here we go. Jesus Christ. We're not doing that line-up show next, are we? You know what could split a clit in half? A paperclip. Let's all stop having fun and get this over with alright the only man to ever get less chilled out

on Valium what is this Homer's Odyssey fuck it Al when I took that pill I knew I could beat it alright here we go so whose manifesto is this

it's very ableist of you to think we can all read. Wow, Kyle, are you a member of my bisexual household? No. You don't know chaos until I get in there and start fucking around. This is a great script. Stop having fun and let's do comedy. Here we go.

Hey, Kyle, if you ever need your balls whacked... Shut up! The Yochi! Shut up or I'll split your clit. Here we go. Hey, Carl, if you ever need your balls whacked, you know what I call it. The Yochi. Shut up or I'll split your clit. Here we go. Isolate that. If you can find it. Let's cancel this cut once and for all.

I'm your boss. You can't cancel me. Oh, shit. Carl's my boss. All right, here we go. Getting into character. Wow, Jenny. It feels like forever, but finally I'm back in Thailand.

You've been seven times since the pandemic ended. Eight, actually, and once during the pandemic. I had to pretend to be a doctor. I learned gynecology off a podcast on the flight over. That's a coincidence. Feels like a lot of people around here have learned about two cunts thanks to a podcast. So what cheap bullshit accommodation have you booked for us this time? I got us a great deal at a luxury resort that's been on TV. It's part of it. thanks to a podcast. So what cheap bullshit accommodation have you booked for us this time?

I got us a great deal at a luxury resort that's been on TV. It's part of it, Shane. It was heavily discounted because people kept dying there or something. Anyway, here we are. Wow, the White Lotus. Looks fancy. At least fancier than the last place we stayed

that had a sex swing and two brain-damaged bogans sharing our room. What was wrong with that? You love swings, and I loved sex that one time I had it. Anyway, Jenny, all the reviews mention that these White Lotus resorts are often run by a manager who's

completely unhinged. Someone with a very tenuous grip on reality, affected by drinking drugs and who is on the cusp of a full-on mental breakdown. Oh, did I get to play the manager? Hello! My name's Harley. I'm the manager of this White Lotus And it's great to have mates

Managing a resort in Thailand must be so cool How did you end up with this job? I used to manage a different resort But my ex-wife took it That's really tough, I'm sorry As your new friends, let's never mention something as sensitive as that ever again. And certainly not over and over for years. About to lose more cars.

Anyway, thanks cancer girl. And whoever you are, you 50 year old cunt. Anyway, I want to make your stay here as pleasant as possible. I've dealt with a lot of entitled shithead guests, so I can handle anything you throw at me. Great. Then I want the full Thailand experience, so can we have a powder finger themed room

and stock the minibar with chiquitos and portello and some dressing gowns made by Hot Tuna? I'm going to kill myself and then you. Oh, I love that Thai phrase. I hear it a lot when I'm here. Wonder what it means. Come on, Jenny. Happy hour's about to start. Let's go mingle and meet some of the other guests.

I just want to say this is just like working on Utopia. Hi, my name's Nina and this is my husband, Kyle. We're having a steamy romantic getaway where we split each other's clits and whack each other's flaps. And given that you're a 50-year-old man. 47 actually. And you're in Thailand with an underage

girl, I'm assuming you're here to do the same thing. Hey, that's not cool. She's my daughter and totally not my type. She's never even heard of Pearl Jam. I've been in a Judd Apatow film for fuck's sake. It was a series. It wasn't a film. This is really going to stink up my IMDB page

Kyle, it's so nice to meet you A man in his 40s in Thailand with a young Asian bride Must be nice Thanks for calling me young It's like someone did a 3D model printing of my wet dreams Dear lord, you wrote it Hey, thanks man Who says white men have no culture, right?

Hey, wait a minute Rad dad, I recognize that name Are you the admin of the Kosumai Pad Thai Appreciation It's alright, it's Kosumui It's okay It's great for this crowd You killed it

Fucking God damn Koh Samui Pad Thai Appreciation Society Facebook page Yeah I'm the guy on there Saying how much better The noodles are in Copenhagen They want to kill me

It's so good You changed that line So they want to kill me And then you're supposed to say Tommy wrote that last line By the looks of it. No, no. What is it?

Curb your enthusiasm? Last time I was here you were hassling me to buy Valium and a cheap phone charger for you. You completely ruined my holiday,

you sort of bitch. I'll kill you. I'm going to leave you boys to it. Jenny, want to hit the bar with me? I'm going to drink 15 Mai Tais,

have a Jager Bomb, take a shit in the hot tub and then fall asleep on the beach and spew all over myself. Wow, this is a personal attack on my character. It sure is good to let loose on holidays, isn't it? No, this is actually my version of detox. Everyone, I have

terrible disturbing news. This episode of Rad Dad is going for 10 minutes longer. I said bad, not fucked. I'd have to kill myself twice. No, a dead middle-aged Australian man has washed up on the beach. Yes! Oh, Rad Dad, you're still here.

Yay? We don't know who it is or how they died. I haven't been able to get close enough to have a good look, but there's a rancid stench so bad that the corpse must have been in the sun for at least a week. Hang on a minute. That corpse is moving. That's not the odour of a decomposing body. That's Nick Capa.

Oh, Brad, Dad. Music. Wow. I love reluctant applause. The time and effort you guys put into this show has not waned over the last two decades. Nothing like getting 55 minutes of momentum going and then just pulling the handbrake,

swerving off the road. All right. Is that going to do us for another week of the Little Dun Dun Club? Folks, thank you very much for coming along. Let's give a big round of applause. Carl Canane, Nitori Yama, Harley Breen.

Thank you very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. And they've done it again. They have done it again live on stage in Melbourne, Australia. Melbourne. Cracking up, Australia. Melbourne. Cracking up, that's two.

That's two thus far. Look, that's three absolute rippers, including Adelaide. Oh, yeah. We are on fire, Tommy. Look, you were done. Yeah. Come down and see the averages play out. Do you feel that sometimes, like especially in a solo show,

you have a couple of really great ones in a row and you're going into that next one and you're like, the luck's got to run out sometime. It's stressful if you've had a couple of good shows in a row. Yeah, yeah. I guess I think more of that of the crowd than myself. You know what I mean? Like you go, oh, that were really good crowds.

Like I don't think, oh, fuck, I'm so good, I i'm gonna turn this shit crowd into a great crowd but oh yeah sometimes you go fuck i've had some riffs i'll go and do this and then you walk in and you can hear the people out in the audience you go yeah they sound like they're not that into it tonight yes i had i had three really good ones in a row of my solo and then i was getting it filmed on saturday night just for my own personal use for posterityity. And I did go into it thinking, I had a blinder last night. Like, that's the one. That's the one of the run.

This is only going to be a letdown. And so I just came out and called it. I just went, listen, you pricks. I'm getting this filmed. Don't you fuck me on this, okay? Because also too... You've gone full Chandler. I've gone full Chandler.

When you commit to getting something filmed, it ends up being the worst one of the run. You get to the end of the night, you're like, I'm never watching that back. That'll make me want to kill myself. So what happened? It ended up being good. I think that stirring them up.

You're welcome. Stirring them up got a good result out of it. Yeah, well, talking about this episode, that was great. Look, in terms of following up on things, the frustration that was given out by me in particular at the start of the show i think we'll talk about this next week instead of right now because it uh continued and it spilled over the uh the whole um stress and uh you know uh organization of a live show and let's say the tech dealing with the technical side of things yeah that we you did hear us talk about uh there's plenty more to talk about next week live on stage

i think we really went into it all that much because no it's at the end of the day you get into these situations frequently you get into these situations if you're asked yes and uh you want to tee off but you're also very aware that this is the man that's in charge of the recording device. So you never want to push it too far. But let's push it next week too far. Yeah, but because he won't be there. Yes, absolutely. So we can push away.

Let's make that clear. I mean, hopefully, you know, I assume like sound techs are like unionized. Hopefully our tech next week in solidarity doesn't hear us teeing off and go that's it yeah in support of my brother no pushing stop on the recorder i would say that sound techs are more like stand-up comedians so if you're hearing if you're hearing man this guy bombed the other day you're going hey i don't want to hear about this right i think

you might i think it might be the opposite they might be like oh someone else fucked up hell yeah that's good let's hear about it yeah I wonder I wonder if there's any I wonder if there's any solidarity well that's fine

we'll ask him live on stage that's fine and also like I talked about gifts being given to me at the show I got another one we'll talk about that next week

I think as well yeah you had one sitting there on the stage that you didn't get around to opening. Yeah, I didn't even think about it until right at the end. And then the person who brought it came up and went, hey, this would have gone really well today. I'm like, oh, would it?

And then I brought it home. I thought, you know what, I'll open it live on stage next week. And then my daughter was so insistent of opening it up. Oh, really? We had to open it up. Oh, and it's good? We'll talk about it. We have had that happen before where people come up and they gleefully give you something

and they're like, get a load. And you get up there with every intention of opening it. You're like, oh, wow, some content. Great. And then something happens. You get distracted. You get away from it. And those people, they're always just waiting for you right off stage as soon as you come off.

Like, mate, why didn't you open up my big package that had Chandler cat litter in it? I think that's the other thing is like nine times out of ten, they're just absolute duds. It's like, oh, look, it's that little bald cartoon character from Japan. It looks like you, Tommy. Yeah. But look, I would say to the person who brought the present this time, if I had noticed it in time and gone, yep, let's open it up, would have got a good response.

Which is why it's being carried over for next week. I mean, look, we didn't need it, which is the best position to be in. Absolutely. Yeah. So all of a sudden when it was opened this morning and I had a look, we didn't need it, which is the best position to be in. Absolutely. Yeah. So all of a sudden, when it was open this morning, and I had a look at it and I think about it, and I was like, yep, this will do nicely for five minutes, I reckon. Cool. Yeah.

Well, great to be doing our show as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Yes. And able to draw on guests from all over the festival. None of the people on this week's episode have shows anymore that we can plug. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Kenane's got a special that's on YouTube that I watched the other day. It's very funny.

Check that out. Great stand-up. You can watch Harley Breen come down and host my Best of Melbourne comedy showcase in various forms of inebriation as the night goes on. Yep. Which has been very interesting to watch. After he did this episode, he didn't host the show and then hosted another show. So he'd done that. So that means we did the show at 4.30.

Yep. Then we're on the late show. And he's like, why didn't you get me to host the late show like at 11 o'clock? And I'm like, because you can hardly pronounce the late show. Maybe that's why. Fantastic stuff. Well, look, we've got to get into it. Yes.

We've got to thank some people. We've got to. You know why? You know, I've said to you before that we're on the clock today because I'm... You know what I'm doing after this? What? I'm going to check out a couple of... Now, what's the names of these sort of places?

Like... Bathhouse. Gay sauna. Getting your filth booster shot. Call back. No, like offices, like hot desk places or whatever. What do you call them? Like, you know.

Co-working space. Co-working spaces. Yeah. Is that the best name for them, I guess? That's what they're called. That's what they are. Yeah. I thought they had something snappier.

But yeah, I've never done it before. So I am going to check out two two of them including one place that seems to have a bit of a gatekeeper happening where it was like one place i hit up and they go yeah great when can you come in for a meeting and we'll come in and we'll tour you around it's like you know it's like someone as desperate as like a timeshare report uh timeshare resort person yeah come in and we'll show you can have a free toasted sandwich and i'll show you the showers oh yeah you know all this stuff and i'll give you the showers and all this stuff, and I'll give you the Wi-Fi password,

and then the other place is like, hmm, what do you do, and why do you think you'd fit in with this place? Yeah, you've got to preserve the ecosystem of the co-working space. Yeah, well, that's what I didn't realise. Everyone's got to get along. You can't have any, no offence, but Carl Chandler types coming in and fucking up the vibe. Yeah, well, apparently.

So you're sick of doing the work on the couch? You're looking to... Not so much me being sick of it as another member of my family, aka wife, being sick of me going, why are you just working in bed all day like some sort of fucking weirdo? Yeah. I'm like, okay, all right, maybe I should get out of the house. It is good getting out of the house.

It is. It does kickstart the brain. Yeah, and it is. I'm a bit of a one of, like, I don all right, maybe I should get out of the house. It is good getting out of the house. It is. It does kickstart the brain. Yeah, and it is. I'm a bit of a one of, like, I don't go to the cafes, but sometimes I go to the pub and do it. Yeah. And weirdly enough, I don't drink. I'll, like, just have Cokes and stuff like that.

But I am a bit, like, this is sort of slightly weird. I don't know. It's not ideal. Is this one where they were, like, going to make you a toasted sandwich? Is this, like, is there all this? Because like some of them have like, you know, foosball tables and stuff like that. I was talking to someone about this the other day about like the whole thing of, ah, working at Google. Remember that when that all came out?

It's like, ah, they've got like a fucking, you know, ah, they just have like free drinks and it's such a fun office. And it's like, you're still at work. That's a novelty for like a day yes and my friend was like yeah there's a slide in our office people go on it in their job interview to sort of show that they're fun because it's like sort of an events company yeah and then she's like i haven't gone near the slide in like six years like someone going on it in the office is like what the fuck is this person doing right oh okay that's someone on a job interview you know they're coming in here like yeah i'm

zany i'm fun well one of these hire me one of these places that i asked for the the snootier place uh has a podcast studio which is in my little application that i had to write out yeah i said oh you know we did this podcast and maybe, you know, it sounds attractive because you've got a podcast studio. And I've literally just got emailed back and got given a quote and gone, oh, blah, blah, blah. And it says, yes, and look, as you asked, as a member, you would also be able to book

our podcast studio at our member rates. Oh, I'm paying more. That's good. Than the flat rate. Okay. Yeah, that's good. Right. Okay.

All right. I'm getting a bit of a very strong feeling about this one joint, and it's got a very weird, snooty, exclusive sort of a name, which I think I'll be going. There's also this one that's literally like 100 metres from my house, and I looked it up. I was like, oh, maybe that's the closest one. That's what you want.

You want the closest one. Anything that's like you're paying and then it's just far enough away that it's like if the weather wasn't good, you'd be like, I'll just stay here. It's like a gym. You've got to give yourself a reason to go there. Not all the opposite. You've got to make sure there's not too many things in your way to go there.

Yeah. And so there's one just up there. I'm like, yeah, this looks good. I looked up their websites. Like, I reckon I'm just in someone's spare room. I think that's what this is. That's what a lot of them are. I mean, I had a desk in a place for a bit that was like a guy had bought this house

and then, oh no, he'd bought like a warehouse with some friends, converted it into like three multi-level kind of apartment things and then immediately gotten pregnant and just been like, this place is not safe for a kid and had to move out. So he just had converted the whole thing into a bunch of like just desks, like everywhere in every room of the space and it was weird because it was like this is sort of an office but it's like yeah we're just sitting around in someone's house i'm just like my desk is like just in the kitchen yeah it's bizarre i like these places like hotels you know when you

book a hotel and they feel compelled to spell out everything you get with it like yeah but then they're all like it's never never like, oh, yeah, there's a water slide and there's free chocolates when you walk in or whatever. It's always like fucking, you know, hot and cold taps. Yeah, it's bare minimum. Yeah. Sorry, I'm getting a call from someone.

You find that pretty commonly in like in Japan, especially if you look at Airbnbs and you're like cycling through and you're like, all right, yeah, living room looks kind of nice of nice and tidy looks like it's in a good area bed looks okay and then they'll just be like 80 photos of all the different like the two different shampoos that they have in the shower from every angle they love it in asia just photographing every minute detail here's eight photos of like the slippers that we have for you at the front door yeah fucking bizarre yeah Yeah, these places are always like a door for walking in, a door for walking out. Okay, mate. Great.

I'm in. There's a safe in the room. All right. Cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, we've got to thank. We have to thank the people that make this entire thing possible, this entire endeavor. Give us the money to be able to go and get co-working spaces to sit and write our little

riffs for the podcast. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub. You can get two bonus episodes per week, little mini episodes with special guests. And we're spelling it because we've had this a little bit lately. There's different tiers. And one of the tiers you get sort of like, I don't know, you get maybe half the episodes. Five bucks is you get the first episode of the month and the last episode of the month. Yeah.

And ten bucks is you get two a week. Yeah. So every now and then. It's a little bit more than that because I think you're talking American. Oh, I'm talking American prices. Well, I'm talking to our American listeners. Right. Okay.

And yeah, no, you're right. Like every now and then someone will be like, oh, boys, there's a fucking glitch in the system. And then it's you look and it's like, oh, there's talking to our American listeners. Right, okay. And yeah, no, you're right. Like every now and then someone will be like, oh, boys, there's a fucking glitch in the system. And then you look and it's like, oh, there's a glitch, all right. Yeah. The glitch is you not paying us enough money. Yes. The biggest glitch of all.

Yeah, so that's what happens. So go full dum-dum and get all the bonus episodes. But thanks to everyone that subscribes. Thank you to anyone who unsubscribed. Thank you in advance for you changing your mind and getting back on board. But thank you in particular to these people who

have been hanging out, waiting for their chance at immortality in a way. Because at some stage these episodes, much like that episode of The Y the yarn all of the little dumb dumb club will be shot into space all the episodes for uh for martians to uh to to learn from yeah and when they the martians need to learn how to riff when they visit here this is literally how they'll be uh communicating with everyone yeah uh via just the way that we

talk yeah wouldn't that be good? No. Take us to your leader, you fucking cunts. Yeah, nice. That's good stuff. Now, how long until this meeting? Because you did flag that we should keep this tight. And so far, that is no risk of happening. I know.

No, I reckon I'm going to do it. And here's my new plan that I've formulated as we've been talking. I'm like, you drove here. You're in my house. Can you give us a ride to it? To where? Just up the road, that way. So the opposite direction to my house? Yes.

Fuck my ass. Let's go. Come on. Love it. You'll get some lunch up there. It'll be good. No, I'm getting lunch back at home. Oh, don't do that.

Thank you very much to all of our Patreon subscribers, but in particular these people this week. Thank you very much. First cap off the rank to a Patreon subscriber, but in particular these people this week. Thank you very much. First cap off the rank to a Patreon subscriber, Liz Fraser. Okay. Gone the double Z in there.

One in the first, one in the second. Fraser with a Z. That's it. Whoa. ZZ Top herself. All right. Yeah.

All right. Frank Beard. Whatever the fuck that guy's name was. Don't know enough ZZ Top. Like, I know the big ones. ZZ Top's one of those bands where people go, oh, yeah, they're legendary. And growing up, all I know is from them on, like, K-Tel compilations where it's like,

you know, the She's Got Legs song, and you see, like, three cunts with beards. Yeah. And someone with hardly any clothes on walking past. And you go, aren't these guys fucked in the head? Yeah. But it's like, no, they're legends. Okay, I'll take your word for it. I don't know. And someone with hardly any clothes on walking past, and you go, aren't these guys fucked in the head? Yeah. No, they're legends. Okay, I'll take your word for it.

I don't know. Well, the main guy is like a fucking shred king. Is he? Yeah, by all accounts. Oh. Yeah. Because the trivia bit is, I shouldn't say three guys, the trivia thing is, they're known for those massive beards. There's three members.

One of them doesn't have a beard. His name is Frank Beard. Ah, okay. That's the little... Is it Dave Gibbons is one of the other dudes? I think that that's very close, but I think that that might even be the name of a member of Portishead, but you might be right. Maybe I'm getting my wires crossed.

Yeah. I just know that he... Very similar bands. One of them popped up on the last Black Keys album, and Dan Albach from the Black Keys has a story about him coming in and just laying down a solo. Billy Gibbons. Billy Gibbons.

And just being like, this was one of the most incredible things I've ever seen. Because you hear all this stuff about how he's got his own guitar, and that's the only one he'll fucking play on or whatever, and he just came in and just picked up whatever and just went went off and was just like this was awesome to watch all right question what does zz top mean oh great question i have no clue uh at first he combined the two names of his heroes and came up with zz king well i mean bb king is one person but what's zz yeah i don't know.

But he realised the name was too similar to a blues player original name. On second thought, he thought a king is going to the top. So then he said ZZ Top and the rest is history. What the fuck does that even mean? I don't know what that means. Okay, another answer is... In the book, he says the name came from a concert post they saw for ZZ Hill. They liked it because it sounded like one of their heroes, BB King.

Okay, so then they just... That's one of the worst reasons for a name ever. Why have we done... We're going to get so many fucking messages about... Of course the overlap between us and big ZZ top heads is going to be pretty hefty. Well, I don't think they've got anything to add to those two shit stories. Oh, they'll find a way. That, yeah, I think the opposite.

I don't think we'll get any reaction because I think that story has made a lot of people ZZ, ZZ, ZZ. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes. That could have been your name when you were doing comedy in pyjamas. Oh. Zzzz Top. Zzzz Lol.

Yeah, there you go. ZZ Lol. ZZ Bottom. All right, well, thanks, Liz. Fuck. Man, stop ringing me, people. Jesus Christ. A lot of people ringing me today.

And not in great ways, but we'll talk about that later. Okay. Yeah. More with Liz Fraser. Come on, give her a go. Elizabeth or Liz, what would you go with? Good question. I'd probably go with Elizabeth.

I think I would too. Yeah. Or Lizzie. Nah, I think I'd probably go with Elizabeth. I think I would too. Yeah. Or Lizzie. Nah, I think I'd stick to Elizabeth. Well, all right, question. If it was Elizabeth, what would you rather go with, Liz or Beth? Oh, probably Beth. All right.

If your name was Tommy, what would you rather go with? Tom? Or me. Or Thomas? Tom. Right. Okay. Well, that's a good hypothetical.

My mum's name's Elizabeth. I should start calling her Beth. Yeah. Do it. G'day, Beth. It's like that's, you know, it's a shame I've never gotten to make that decision with my own name. There's just nothing I can do with it. There's nothing. It's a nice thing to do for a kid give them some options yeah yeah it should be like

my kid can go with blankie or yeah yeah it should be it like it should be on the birth certificate it shouldn't just be like you give them a longer name that can be shortened in multiple ways. You just give them three options. You go like, okay, on the birth certificate, Carl Simon Roger. And then it's like when you turn 18, you get to tick which one you want. Well, I think it's nicer to get the name. Like you've got options. You're Thomas Tom or Tommy. See, that's a good name in terms of just, here you go, make your own adventure. Samuel's kind of the same.

Yep, yep. Jonathan. Yep. Timothy. Yeah. All the big, all the, yeah, it's weird. They don't make names like they used to. Yeah, yeah.

All the classics are like pretty multifaceted, but like someone now being called like, you know, what are these names that kids have these days? Brayden or whatever. Yeah, you know. I guess you get to use Bray or Den. Yeah, I guess it's sort of like you're kind of making it up as you go along, right? Like having a kid and calling it something like, you know,

Emerald or whatever. Yeah. And then you're being like, oh, I'm Emmy. Yeah. You know, but that's not as prescribed. I mean, maybe that's more interesting because it truly is you with the name kind of cooking that up yourself. Yeah.

It's not just like, here's one of the things. It's like we were talking about being called William and going by Liam. Yeah. That's cheating. Yeah. That's not right. Well, it's all there. It is there.

It is your name. I know. That's like, that's a real sort of like a, oh, yeah. Got off on a is there. It is your name. I know. That's a real sort of like a... Got off on a technicality. Technicality, exactly. Exactly. That's what that is. Well, thanks, Elizabeth, if I may be so bold.

But I'm enjoying the Z in the Fraser. I'm getting a lot of missed calls this morning. So this is what happens at Comedy Festival time. People ring me because of Basement Comedy because it's... Look, Basement Comedy Club is hosting a lot of shows, like other people's shows during the festival. So people just look it up and then ring me up and go... And just ask fucking insane questions about everything.

Just like, yep, just what's going on there? I'm like, what do yep just what's going on there i'm like what do you mean what's going on there like a guy just almost cut to like the i don't think i can even say it's a dumb question but it was just such so basic like the guy had nearly never heard of comedy before i just had to explain the whole art form of comedy to him last night right all of this and then it was just down to like, and so how would I buy tickets to it, or what would happen next? I'm like, mate, you found this phone number.

I reckon you could find how to buy tickets or whatever. Well, I've got something. Let's get the next name going, because I've got something on this. All right, thanks, Lizzie. And it's just going to spill over into this name. Thanks, Queen Liz. Queen the Patreon.

Queen Liz Fraser. Thank you very much to patreon subscriber graham mcveen okay graham mcveen yes uh well okay i have been having so many weird interactions with people recently in like shops and in like service positions where it's like i think at the moment we it feels to me like we truly are seeing the beginnings of the effect of like people's brains got broken during the lockdowns and during covid and stuff yeah and not in like i agree people are getting dumber than i think people are just but not even just dumb but just like just weirder like i was getting a drink on sunday night

i went to see a show and beforehand I just went to get one quick drink. I got a schooner of this beer. I was sitting at the bar. I get this schooner and I'd ask for the lager and I take a sip and there was like a tap for a sour, like next to the tap for the lager. I have a sip and I'm like, the bartender was like right there. And I was like, oh, was this the lager or the sour? This kind of tastes like a sour.

And she's like, no, I poured it out of the tap that has the lager thing on it. And I'm like, oh, okay. I just wanted it because it tastes, yeah, it tastes really, really different to that lager that I've had before. But, yeah, that's okay. And she then just like as she's eyeballing me, she gets another schooner glass, pours out an entire full schooner from the lager tap as she's making eye contact with me

and just passes it over. So now I've got two drinks. And she's like, there you go. That's from the lager tap. Try that. And I'm like, yeah, I guess that is the same. And she's like, hmm? And I'm like, yeah, I mean, you could have just given me a little taster

or just just said like oh no this one actually is a bit fruitier than you know i wasn't trying to have a go i was just like confused more than anything yeah i was just like what a bizarre interaction to pour me a full entire other drink like it's so pass ag i'm like well i don't want two i don't want two beers yeah i was like, why did this interaction go like that? I wasn't like having a go. I was just like, oh, this is just like, I just feel like it's like daily I'm having some weird interaction like that where I'm just like asking a question and it's like a person's brain has just atrophied in some way.

Yeah, look, I do. Given where I work, I don't think it's particularly relatable to anyone but the amount of people that i'm like what do you think your job is like what like it goes back to what things we've already talked about i'm like does anyone know how to do their fucking job anymore like you're employed to do this shouldn't you know how to do this but apparently not anyway a good example would be the other day and you know a bad example because you don't need to pick on on people that have these sort of jobs but it was just perfectly wrong i went to kfc for lunch and they perfectly got everything wrong it was a uh tenders chips a drink and a sauce forgot the sauce gave me the wrong drink yep wrong size tenders

and for some reason gave me and and charged me for two large chips right in the in the deal instead of one why the fuck i would ask for that i don't know yep but that's they perfect they got everything wrong yeah it was i was like i don't. That was harder to do than get it right. So I guess I doff my cap to you. I went into a place, tried to get lunch yesterday on the way home from doing something. Went in. It's like, it was pretty late. It was like two o'clock.

Place is empty. I go in. I'm like, just table for one. And they're like, oh, we're really busy. It's going to be like a half hour wait. And there's like no one in there. I'm like, all right, I'll go somewhere else. Just like.

The thing that drives me crazy is those ones. Like, I understand that way. You go in and get a meal deal or whatever. And you go, can I have fucking, you know, like this instead of this? And it's like, oh, that just can't happen. It's like, it really can. Yeah. It actually really can yeah it actually really

can yeah let's just work it out and again i'm not meaning this to mean like a an attack on people in the service industry it's like stuff goes wrong your food takes a little while that's always been there i mean it's like more the way that i'm finding is the way that people are conveying this news to you has gotten so bizarre. Yeah. Like it's just, it's more like it's the interactions that you're having with people that have just, it feels to me in the last month especially, it's like, oh, you really are noticing the effect of two years worth of people barely interacting with other human beings. Right. And what it's done to the brain. And you would think like, hey, man, yeah, just a bit of time out.

Things open up again and then we go back to our lives it's like no the brain chemistry did get changed pretty fundamentally there like it's a muscle and it just wasn't it wasn't doing this thing for two years and now it's gone to shit and people don't know how to deliver news to you at a restaurant so everything comes off as weirdly passive-aggressive there was a guy uh and it happens on the other side of it as well because it's not just people who are working but customers as well where you're dealing with them and it's like this expectation of what you think you're providing for them like working in the comedy festival like uh someone just left a review this morning on the on my club and then it was like the review was oh yeah look it took yeah it was like took too long to get in because like this guy was going

to a sold-out show after there was another sold-out show i was like oh did it take a little bit for like hundreds of people to sort of get in and out yeah took five minutes too long then the beers and the this what it was cost this much which is too much it's like fuck can't have you walked around the world lately yeah Yeah. Everything has gone up. And the show that he's gone to is extremely well-priced. So, yeah. So then he complained about that and that. That was the whole review and then marked the review down.

It's like, cunt, you didn't mention the comedy once. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, well, that's classic. No mention of the actual show. He's just learning from the masters with that one. Yeah, and no mention of, like, the value he got from the ticket of the comedy. Yeah. He's a fucking little the masters with that one. Yeah, and no mention of like the value he got from the ticket of the comedy. Yeah.

He's a fucking little cunt. Well, thanks Graham. Yeah. Five stars for you, Graham. Yeah. Graham McVean,

M-A-C-V-E-A-N, McVean, not even like, you know, you get your classic, like for example, Ronald McDonald, that's M,

small C, capital D. Yeah. This is just one deal. I don't even know. Are you technically allowed to call this guy Macca? Because it's all one thing. I always think the Mac is split up from the rest of the word. This is just all one fucking deal.

What's going on here? It's just Macveen. I'm not into it. But he's a proud sponsor of Gripe Corner for this week. Yes. Yes. Yes. Thank you for sponsoring Two Old Men Yell at Clouds. Yeah.

Thanks. Brought to you by Graham McVean, not even a true Scottish person. I really do feel at the moment like any time I set foot out of my house, step foot out of my house, set or step? Step. Step foot out of my house. or step step step foot out of my house it's just i'm under attack you know it's like every cafe every interaction that you're having to have it's like something about this is going to be a headache right i feel like it's

and look not to jump ahead but also evidenced with our tech this week we'll talk about you know it's like it truly is like what this week. We'll talk about that. You know, it truly is like, what's going on? We'll talk about that because you don't know the details of this yet. I'm saving this from you. Yeah, but I did have to deal with him one-on-one before the show. And that's plenty. Yes, I know.

You know, you have an idea of what's coming. You've already told me something quite good this morning about him. But I've got plenty left. Don't worry. Yeah. I've also got another thing I haven't told you. Okay, good. And I had to stand there

and try and get the... Yeah, if you're at this show... Yes. You're welcome for us providing you with like a Wednesday evening at Woolworths kind of affair. No music playing,

just like... Yes. Chill vibe. There was a very weird thing where there was a room weird thing where there was a room rammed full of people no music to start with

silence and just me and you walking around like we're gonna fucking explode me on stage yes trying to get the

fucking music to work bluetooth thing to work why bluetooth was being relied on to do any of this I do not know anyway

yes um thanks Graham you'll hear if you like the gripes here and I'm sure you didn't you'll uh Any of this I do not know. Anyway. Yes. Thanks, Graham. You'll hear. If you like the gripes here, and I'm sure you didn't, you'll enjoy when we punch up the gripes this Saturday live. Yep. Upstairs at Basement Codding Club.

Let's not call it Morris House because very confusingly, that name does not exist on Google Maps yet. Great. So just more evidence of the world going mad, Tommy. Yeah, I know. Come on, not exist on Google Maps yet. So just more evidence of the world going mad, Tommy. Yeah, I know. Come on, let's pick

up the pace. I'm not giving you this lift if it takes more than 10 minutes to do this. Fair enough. Fair enough. Thank you very much

to Patreon subscriber Christy Thorogood. Thorogood. Oh, she's unlike the other Thorogood. She's not bad to the bone. I think she's good

to the bone. For she's good to the bone For ponying up some funds For this little escapade we've been Pulling on the world for 12 years plus Thoroughly good Oh that's good That's a damn good name No completely

Thanks for Christy Thurgood And the destroying our bank balances by putting lots of money in them. Oh, yeah, nice. That was the backing band. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bad to the bone?

Yes. Yeah. He was out here recently. He was. I did see those band places. Which, you know, it's one of those ones that you see and you just go like, I mean, yeah, you could say this about nearly any band if a person isn't into it.

But that truly is one where I'm like, I can't imagine the person being like, yes. Like, got to buy my tickets day one to see Bad to the Bone live. It just seems insane to me. It is a weird one where you go, it's an interesting business plan to go, yep, we're known for that song. Maybe there's another one in there somewhere. But we'll come out every three years. And hopefully you want to just see that once every three years and hopefully over the years there'll be more people find out about that song on youtube yeah like i mean look good example uh of different you know different bands and getting different uh new listenerships like

someone like a kate bush yeah on that on that show stranger things she's blown up again so she'll have she tours which she doesn't really anyway all of a sudden she's gonna have like 15 year old kids yeah and blah blah metallic are kind of the same thing with that show yeah yeah yep and um and i think that's sort of like that rage is timeless in their music where they'll always get 15 year olds it'll that'll be like, yeah, fuck yes, and get new fans. I should have been going to see Elvis Costello in two days. He's pulled out. Someone got COVID. So that's been postponed for one year exactly, which is quite handy.

Great. But, yeah, he's a dude that over the years I go to the shows and just keep seeing the audience getting older. And I was the youngest one 20 years ago there, and I'm still the youngest one 20 years later. Well, yeah, a lot of those people that were at those gigs 20 years ago with you are dead now. Yes. Yeah, it's interesting.

Like, it must be – because it's also, as an artist, there's nothing you can do to control that. Kate Bush hasn't been like, we've got to get my songs in Stranger Things. It's like the person that made that show. I love the idea that she did. She's campaigning. She's the one who got it done. It's just luck of the draw

and also that, you know, your song gets licensed in something but it's like, whether or not that scene, that show takes off

and then that specific scene takes off and also the song just being vibey enough because that's the weird thing about that song is like, it does sound very current.

It's got like a lot of kind of like vibey production in the style of stuff that's like right that gets big on tiktok now that's like a new song but how do we get how do we get let's try and get this podcast on bluey we need younger oh yeah we you know we go to our shows we see that our audience growing old with us we need to get um one of the dogs on Bluey to be a big little Dumb Dumb Club fan. Yeah. We need, who else? What's my kid watching on Netflix at the moment?

Cocoa Melon. Gudetama. Yes, yes. Get us in Gudetama. Gudetama. My kid's right, blankets right into Gudetama at the moment. Man, what a missed opportunity. So it's made in Japan.

So I assume she's maybe watching like a dubbed version. I assume. But it's like, because they'll always, they'll just be like a blanket. This gets dubbed into, this is getting dubbed into English language. Yes. Which is often just like American accent. Right. But as we know, the English language is different depending on what part of the world you're in the way we speak it is different to an american or to uh you know a british person

so it's like imagine if good atama was like you know you could select this the dub english brackets australian and it's you and me being like yeah i'm a little fucking egg i'm a little fucking scrambled cunt yeah Yeah. Get me out of these fucking shell cunts. What's it like? Is it any good? I meant to watch it. I don't watch it along with her. Yeah.

But he gets on in the background. You're absurd. He's just a little... They're just little mini... I thought it was a movie, but they're just little mini episodes, aren't they? They're just like little five minutes. I don't know. Okay.

She just points at it and goes, this is the one. You know? So I had to go and see the super mario brothers movie yeah i had to we had to review it on the show yeah your first in my job don't say i was we would work we were busting to do it no we it was it was brutal it's a brutal movie i thought it was supposed to be good it's uh like it's it's the animation's great but it's just like it's super like for kids it's not not like a Pixar thing where it's like, oh, there's stuff in this I can enjoy.

But the most egregious thing that people don't like about it is that it's got all these needle drop moments in it. Take On Me is in the soundtrack. Thunderstruck is in the soundtrack. And so you're looking at it going, this just is so incongruous with it being a Mario movie and having these like bizarre songs from the 80s in it. Like who is this for?

But then you think about it and it's like maybe that is like ACDC going for a bit of what we're talking about. You know, maybe they're hoping for like Thunderstruck to catch like a new audience of little babies that are going to see. Maybe they're hoping to have their Kate Bush moment as part of the Super Mario Brothers movie. I don't think ACDC are thinking of like long-term new fans i think they're thinking about fucking staying out of the grave for the next five years yeah that's true

who else is in it yeah take on me by aha holding out for a hero it's just all these bizarre like the beastie boys is in there oh wow it's like all these like 80s songs that have been in like every like licensed in every other movie it's really weird yeah but yeah maybe the great in there. Oh, wow. It's like all these, like, 80s songs that have been in, like, every, like, licensed in every other movie. It's really weird. Yeah. But, yeah, maybe. The great Beastie Boys album licensed to Super Mario Brothers movie.

Great. Yeah, it's No Sleep Till Brooklyn, and they're running through Brooklyn. Get it? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's, you know, fuck. What do you expect when you go and see a movie about Super Mario Brothers? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's, you know, fuck. What do you expect when you go and see a movie about Super Mario Brothers? Yeah, true.

Thanks, Christy Thorogood. Christy Thorogreat. Yeah. What do you think about that? Yeah, yeah. Christy Thorogreat. Very good. She's like the evil, like she's the opposite version of Superbad.

Oh, yeah. Thorogood. Yep. What was the meaning behind super bad in that movie anyway what was the meaning behind the name i guess that was i think even by the time the film came out it was like using like oh super bad i need it super bad okay as like a piece of slang right but i feel like even by the time that came out i was like i sort of get what this is but I don't think that's really a thing that people say right or it doesn't make sense in the same way

thanks Christy thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Will Nothrop Nothrop N-O-T-H-R-O-P feels like an anagram or something put backwards, but that doesn't make any sense either

because that would be poor, poor ton. Yeah, it is like a thing in the movie where someone's just rearranged the letters and it's like that's the big twist is like, oh my God, it was him all along. Man, I love this movie. I love this movie when I first saw it. Spoilers alert coming to a 1987 movie.

A movie called Angel Heart. And it's with Mickey Rourke. And it's got, bewilderingly, it's got Robert De Niro. Basically, he's peak years as a baddie. It's got Lisa Bonet from the Cosby show. Weirdly, the older daughter on the Cosby show that left because she posed for Playboy and Bill Cosby show. The, the, the weirdly, the older daughter on the Cosby show that left because she posed for Playboy and Bill Cosby that didn't fit up with his sensibilities or his public sensibilities at the time.

Anyway, eyes were open in the shoot. It's not sexy. So he looked a bit of girls doing ZZ Top. Oh yeah. So, so anyway, I loved it and I and i i was i should watch it again mickey rooks like a hard-bitten detective like a pulp sort of detective in uh new orleans i think

in the 30s or 40s or something and i really like it it's a really good movie but the but what lets it down insanely and you just can't see it in the same way, and you can't hold it up and go, this is a great film, because the villain's name is Louis Cipher, as in Lucifer. Oh, sure. So Robert De Niro is the devil in it. And it's like, I can't stand behind a movie that has the baddies name is Lou Sci-Fi. Isn't it?

It is crazy to think of like a period in time where it's like someone would have come up with that. Like the things that you could get away with in writing, you know, 30, 40 years ago in anything where you see and it's like, oh, this is the first time anyone's ever done that. So it's like that is truly impressive and revolutionary. It's the same with comedy right it's like you watch yeah stand up when like no terrain had been covered yes and people are going like oh that like truly there was a point where whoever was the first person to make the making the whole plane out of the black box thing yes it would have been like oh my god yeah why don't they yes that's so funny yes louis cypher yeah i just in my show i had

today's uh guest kyle canane doing a voiceover in it and uh i had him playing a podcaster and just because it's him getting on the phone and just saying his name really briefly i just gave him the name patrick oddcast so i'm not immune to it i've done the exact same thing and thought, isn't this a clever little Easter egg? Oh man, I just think that's, Louis Cipher, that's pathetic. And what you've just said is pathetic. Anyway, thanks Will Northrop. Let's do our last one. Thanks very much to our final one for this week, Con Eddie. Con Eddie. Yeah. Con Eddie.

Yeah. Yes, that's it. That's this person's name, the last one for this week. That's his name, Con Eddie. Connedy yeah yes that's it that's this person's name the last one for this week that's his name Con Eddie any questions