The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 658 - Josh Earl & Tor Snyder

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

This week we're joined by JOSH EARL and TOR SNYDER! We interrogate Tor about the origins of her tattoos, Josh reveals his early comedy stage name, Tommy's been commissioned to design a tattoo, PLUS we go deep on our New York City podcast namesakes and waste people's time on Facebook Marketplace. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dum Dum Club, a great new episode with guests Josh Earle and Tor Snyder. This is it. If you are listening in Brisbane, you have a few short days until we are descending upon your beautiful city. That's it, May 20, Saturday afternoon. If you've got a ticket, come down. If you don't have a ticket, come down and try your luck, I guess. Why not? Peer in through the window. Yes. Yeah. Also, if you're in Brisbane, a couple of days before Thursday, the 18th of May, I'm doing my show, Scam Artist, at the Good Chat Comedy Club. Come on down to that. It'd be great to have some people in there.

If it doesn't go well, I'm going to be in a cranky mood for the podcast. Wow. So do yourself a favour for two days' time. Also, if you're in Toowoomba and you go into little Timmy Billiards' show on the Friday night, you'll be seeing me pop up. Oh, wow. Yeah. Also, if you're in Toowoomba and you go into little Timmy Billiards' show on the Friday night, you'll be seeing me pop up. Oh, wow. Yeah. He's rewritten the show to be a double act.

Oh, great. It's like Lano and Woodley doing Moby Dick. Right. It's Tom and Tommy doing It Is I. Moby suck. Yeah. Yeah, Good Chat Comedy Club is where you can get the tickets for Thursday night. But yes, we'll see you somewhere in the great state of Queensland this weekend.

We'll talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dum Dum. But until then, enjoy this new episode with Josh Earle and Tor Snyder. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow. And with me, as always, the other half of the program. What's he going to say?

Carl Chandler. Hey, you kids. Oh, fuck. He's pulled a fresh one out of the box. Joining us today, two great guests. Please welcome onto the show, Josh Earl and Tor Snyder Yay! When you were clearing the throat there, Carl, I thought, oh, he's going to be a big one here

But no, just nice Just subdued I just, you know, you don't always have something great just because I'm getting my voice in full working order I just thought it was, I just thought, here we go, strap in, slurs coming out I thought you cleared your throat and all you're saying is one coffee thanks it doesn't have to be poetry you're just doing your job got a little message uh before we started this tour you've got a lot of tattoos sure for the listener at home how many tattoos i'm one cool lady fucking sailor jerry over here that's what they called me in high school.

How many tattoos do you have? I don't know. I don't know. At what point did you lose count? Maybe 20. When did you lose count? When did you lose count? The first one. When I was 18.

Yeah. When I was, I'd moved out of home and mum couldn't stop me. But then she found me and then she kicked me out of the house. I wasn't even living there. I like that you've been living in this country long enough that you say, Mom. Yeah. That is good, yeah.

You do talk, you talk in your native tongue and then all of a sudden you'll say one Australian word, carburetor, and you go, whoa. I was born here. Okay. Yeah. It's not that that counts for anything other than the passport. But then you moved when? How old were you? I was born here Okay Yeah It's not that that counts for anything Other than the passport But then you moved when?

How old were you? I was two Two Yeah You didn't hang on to the accent at two years old? Well I think I had it for a while You had a real Australian goo goo ga ga Goo fucking ga

I think I was I had some pretty good vocabulary happening You know I think by the time I was four, I had lost my accent. Because my mum's Kiwi, my dad's Canadian, but even, I mean, they sound weirder than I do. So all those three countries are the same countries, really? Pretty much.

Similar. What's the joke there? My mum's Canadian, my dad's from New Zealand, so that means... So when I say sorry, I go, what's that about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I suck off a sheep, I go, eh? I won't suck off a sheep until I've poured maple syrup on its dick.

There we go. This is good stuff, guys. You can use this if you want to interact. I mean, I want to do a podcast, not a workshop for tour, but anyway, that's what it's turned into. Well, I got a message just before we started recording this from a young fella who said to me, hey, man, I know this is probably a long shot,

but do you happen to have a high-quality image of just the word clang from the little Dum Dum Club logo? I want to get it tattooed, but when I crop the logo to just that word, it's really blurry, and I feel like it's not even remotely crisp enough for me to confidently give to a tattoo artist. Not that you probably need to know all of this,

but I've listened since I was 12 years old. Oh, nice. You shouldn't do that. Yeah, and he's been listening for one year now? Yeah, how long? Yeah, and it's helped me through a lot of shit in my life. It would mean just so much to get a tattoo

that references the pod and because I can't choose a favourite episode, I thought I should get just a general reference unless you've got a really stupid idea that you'd like to see

someone get tattooed. Hang on. Because I can't pick a certain specific episode, I'm getting that instead. What was he going to get? The entire transcript of his favourite episode?

Well, so for Conte, I mean, you'll know if you're listening to this, you can look at your, you know, podcast player of choice and see the logo there. The word clang that's in the logo, it's just text. Yeah. It's just my handwriting. Yes. So I can send that to the, I can just trace over that.

Yes. In my handwriting and send this to this guy. Just give him your address, get the sharpie out, write it on him, then go into the tattoo place and then just tattoo over it. But him being like, I can't pick a favourite episode, I think it's like, is he just going to get the number? You've got the number tattooed of one of your favourite Liverpool players, right? Yes.

So just him being like 326. Right, okay. That was a fucking bang. 326,6 Nina Oyama And Nick Capa Yes No just number 500 I didn't hang around

After the break For the 600th episode When it was recorded Or he's just taking a punt I presume it's a good one Landmark number Yeah Must have pulled out

All stops But so We've got a We've got a bit of We've You know I've got some freedom here I can just give him the claim

You've got it And he can get Because he's like saying he wants a general you know reference right we don't ever really say that anymore really yeah no we don't pretty rare i don't know i'm happy to i go dum-dum on knuckles that's good oh that's good yeah i like that but you need that'd be fine actually that's that's you're only saying that because you got nothing on your knuckles and it's giving you an idea. I know what I want to put on my knuckles, but it's too lame to tell you.

Oh, then now we need to know. Let's have it. What's on the knuckles? I thought I would do funny girl, but like with an I. Is that an I? See, it's F-U-N-I. Oh, okay. But people go, what's foony? Yeah, okay. But people go, foony. What's foony? Yeah, yeah.

Whatever. That would be funny. Yeah, what's foony with you? Why wouldn't you put F-U-N-Y? I don't know. I just thought I was funnier. Okay. Yeah.

You're right to be embarrassed about that. Yeah, exactly. I don't know if it's funny. It's definitely foonier. Yeah. Well, so dumb dumb on the knuckles. Are you doing like three and three? Yeah.

Because what I think he could do is he could have just middle fingers. Dum on one and then dum on the other. Oh. Dum-dum on his middle fingers. Yeah. I like the knuckle tattoos better. I mean, that's a traditional. I think if you're giving someone the bird, there's a lot to take in.

Yeah. I don't know. It's like, what? Is there something on there? Well, it takes the edge off. It's like, oh, this guy's giving someone the bird There's a lot to take in Yeah I don't know It's like what Is there something on there Well it takes the edge off It's like oh this guy's giving me The double fingers And then you're like

Oh like the little dum-dum club That's a funny podcast That sort of Cheered me up I feel like it's a good way To get beaten up How about Carl and Tomy Oh yeah

Yeah that's good Tomy That's good Cause that's I mean Yeah that is the problem It's like I'm sort of I feel like you need five.

It needs to be five and five. No, four. You can only get four. You don't do it on your thumb. Oh, yeah, of course. You can't see anything on the thumb knuckle. Well, still. Tucked in.

You know, dumb's only three. Yeah. Yeah. Three's cool, though, because then you could put, like, Tommy's face on one and Carl's face on the other. On a knuckle. On a knuckle. Yeah, just a little headshot.

What about dumb exclamation mark? Yeah. Dumb. Dumb. On a knuckle. Yeah, just a little headshot. What about dumb exclamation mark? Yeah, dumb, dumb, dumb. Or quotations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't quite work because then you need the five. No, you just put like quotations on the beginning and then D-U-M and then D-U-M again. No, I think you've got it wrong.

And then another quotation. Yeah, it's like a little quote. Where is he getting clanged? Did he say where he's going to get it? He doesn't say Where is he getting clanged? Did he say where he's gonna get it? He doesn't say where he's getting clanged But like On his dick Yeah

Lower back It's huge Yeah Yeah Just No just C-L on one cheek And N-G on the other Clong

Clong Yeah A kind of on the hole So you've got like The sort of center Yeah And he like Really spreads it out

because I mean I would like to draw something for this guy if we could get something like very visual on there I mean we've got a we've got a supple young blank canvas here

a 13 year old boy yeah I think he's like 20 or something at this point so just some beautiful virgin skin that we can have our

we can wait with if it's his first tat I'm'm going to say go the neck. Straight to the neck, yeah. You don't have a neck. No, no. So you've got heaps. What was your first one? I've got like this little thing on the back.

It's like a skull with like a bow in its hair on the back of my arm. And I got it because I love the band Distillers. Yep. And, you know, Brody Dolly, she's from Melbourne. Yeah. And I just thought she was the coolest person ever. And that was the gateway into being covered in tats. A decomposed Mrs. Pac-Man just on your ribs. What about a tattoo on the neck that says, you think this is good?

You can see my back, my pussy and my crack. Yeah, I don't know. If we think of something over the course of the pod, something that I can draw up for him. I'm trying to get into your head to go, okay, well, what's your favourite tattoo? Do any of these tattoos mean anything or decorative? I think some of them probably do, but I can't really remember. Yeah, yeah. So no, they don't mean anything like or decorative um i think some of them probably do but i can't really remember yeah yeah so no they don't mean anything yeah i have like a little fish smoking a cigarette which i always think is kind of funny okay well that's that's what would that possibly mean

means tour had an extra 200 bucks one day i'm bored well that's been on the podcast now that's a little reference that this guy could get tattooed on so if we just name all of tour's tattoos they've been on the podcast now, and then this kid can get them all. Yeah, they're part of the canon. Okay. I do have a TV on the back of my leg as well that says, Executive Producer Dick Wolf.

That's good. Yeah, that's good. John Pinder. Do you guys know John Pinder? Yeah. He's a comedian in Perth. He's a tattoo artist, and he did that. Okay.

Yeah, and it's great. I love it so there's no search for meaning it's just Weedale Yankovic all over you it's just joke tattoos kind of yeah

I don't have any tattoos but I was very very close at one stage of getting an open book tattooed on my wrist nerd I know it was when I worked

in a library as well and I thought oh this would be cool and I'm so glad I didn't do it it's when you worked in the library. Yeah.

You thought, I'll get a tattoo of my job. Yeah. Oh, my God. You always see chefs doing that. Chefs have like spatulas and like beaters on their arms. I've never seen that before. Next time you talk to a chef, have a look at their tats. I'll have something to do with chefing.

But what's the – an open book on your wrist? On my wrist, yeah. Just ask him. He's an open book. I wanted a tattoo on my wrist. I thought that's a good place to have a tattoo. And I thought, oh, an open book is good because I myself, Carl, am an open book and I work at a library.

Are you? You know what's cool about that is that if it's the open book, people are constantly going to be asking you, what's the book? Yeah. And you just get to change your, you know, it's like a tattoo that can, the meaning can change. I thought that it would be more of a, like, you know, when people write notes to themselves

on their wrists or whatever, it was going to be more one of them. So if it's an open book, you just write it in the book. Oh, you write your set list on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's good. No, it's not. You don't want to write your set list as a tattoo. That's so bad.

But you just have the open book and then you fill it in when you want. Like, with a pen, not with a fucking pen. Actually, yeah, there was a guy who doesn't do stand-up anymore who used to have a tattoo on his wrist that just said set list. Yeah, and he doesn't do comedy anymore because we ran him out of business because he did that. Much like Josh not being a librarian anymore. Because the other thing I'm glad I didn't get a tattoo,

the other thing I'm glad I didn't do was when I first started comedy, now you might like this, Tommy, because you have a fake name as well. I was almost Johnny Launceston. Oh, wow. Okay. This guy just really wants to anchor himself to where he's from and a job that he had for a bit. I was living in Launceston.

I was doing comedy. I thought, and it was the time of Jackass, so it was Johnny Knoxville. Oh, okay. So I thought, if I go Johnny Launceston. I was doing comedy. I thought, well, and it was the time of Jackass, so it was Johnny Knoxville. So I thought, if I go Johnny Launceston. It gets even lamer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's worse. So was that supposed to be,

so was the audience supposed to know that? Was it supposed to go, oh, like Johnny Knoxville? Just as you walk on here and people go, oh, like Johnny Knoxville. No, it was just, here comes Johnny Launceston. It's Australia's Jackass. Shit comes. But yeah. No, it was just, here comes Johnny Launceston. It's Australia's jackass. Shit cunt. But yeah. Wait, so were you doing gigs in Launceston?

Yes. So you're in the town. That's literally like me getting introduced as Tommy Melbourne. Like here, down the road. Fucking hell, that is insane. If you would have moved, it's like, okay, it sounds kind of cool. It's like, let the audience know immediately. Hey, this guy's moved from somewhere else.

But like... You can't wear like a I love Australia t-shirt in Australia. Yeah. Kangaroos next five kilometres. Just walking down the street. I don't know. Johnny Launceston would have had a good career, I reckon. Yeah.

I mean, yeah. Sounds like a good character in a book. Yeah. Maybe that's I wish there was Something in comedy Called that So I could make fun of him

Johnny Long And would You'd just be doing The same act You didn't have Like an idea For like a You wouldn't have been

Themed or anything You wouldn't be like Five signs If you do this You might be From Longstead Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah You might be from long sex One of my very first comedy songs Was a song called The Tassie Two Step Okay And so I was very Tassie centric Yeah

Being someone who moved Like three months after I started comedy I was like Is that when your cousin Broke up with you? Oh Yay

That's good shit That's a good one Write that on your arm Thank you It really was a breakup And it was the town's too small For both of us. I've got to go.

And so she got to keep the last name? She got to keep Launceston. So would you have moved and then you would have kept the Launceston name? I reckon, yeah, point of difference. Well, it makes more sense over here than it does over there. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, man. I'm going to change my name to Tor Beaver.

Yeah? Are you from Beaver? What? There's a place? I was thinking more the Canadian animal But whatever, Josh Oh, now we're just going like coat of arms kind of shit Sure Tor Quokka

Are you in Perth now? Yeah, Tor Bad Comedian Bad Comedian is a good surname My mum, bad And my dad, comedian Bad comedian is a good surname. My mum, bad, and my dad, comedian. A hyphenated surname. Not my fault. And I don't want to be up here under a stage name. Just constantly going, it was a tribute to where I come from, Perth.

Okay, makes sense. You should bring back Johnny. You should do like a one-off. We need to do like the pseudonym all-stars where you do a Sir Laugh-a-lot. You do Johnny Launceston. Well, I like you as Tommy Melbourne. You can do that in the worst of Melbourne comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tommy Melbourne. Next year in the comedy festival. Yeah, Tommy Melbourne. And then every time a joke bombs, I go, I guess you could say that really is the worst of Melbourne comedy for the listener he pointed at himself

when he said no there's so many layers yeah with that joke I should have instead of hook turn I should have hooked myself

off stage well this young fellow who's messaged me you know we talked we had a thing the other week where I bought an Elvis-style microphone

for you to use during the gig. On the live podcast? What if he gets the Elvis tattooed on his arm? That's a fucking great one. That's what I was going to say, the open book librarian. That's like, imagine someone coming to you, Carl, to sign up for Spleen and being like, now I take this comedy thing really seriously.

And just to prove it, and they pull up their sleeve, and they've got just down the entire arm. No, on their heart. Yeah. And on one arm is the comedy face, and the other arm is the tragedy face. Oh, yeah. That's good. I have that tattoo.

Oh, no. No, no. I'm fucking with you. You can't keep saying things that we want to believe and then backing out of them. And also, you probably do have it. I don't. You've just forgotten. I don't, I don't.

Are you ever catching a look in the mirror and being like, oh, yeah, I've forgotten about that one? Yeah. All the time. But bad comedian would be kind of a fun tattoo as well, like if you just had that, especially if he's not a comedian. This is a tribute to my favorite comedy podcast. Bad comedian.

Bad comedian going home with someone, taking your shirt off. He's got bad comedian across the chest. Oh, what about this on the knuckles then? What about this on the knuckles? On this side, whatever this is, on my right hand, so when it's facing you, it's the left. C-O-M-E. And then on the other knuckles was D-Y-Y-Y

Yeah Comedy Yeah that's great I love that it's like This kid like yeah It's probably It could well be his first tat For all we know

And we're just like Get the knuckles done Yeah Get a neck tattoo Yeah Well alright We can workshop this in the week I'm happy to just

You know Write out clang for him But I feel like Yeah no I feel like he's kind of... He needs something more. I feel like he's short-selling it a little bit. We're getting good ideas here.

Yeah. These are all good ideas. Like, you could go easier and go, oh, the logo or this or more sensible ideas. But I think this is all good stuff. Well, this is now... He loves the pod. He's been mentioned on the pod. So surely it's like...

Oh, he can get this number. Yeah, this number. Or it's like the eventual tattoo has to get this number. Yeah, this number. Or it's like the eventual tattoo has to be something that's come up in the course of this podcast. Okay, right. Because it's sort of dedicated to him in a way. Right, right. He could just go and get like a...

If he got like a... Just an illustrated version of the photo of all of us out the front of our house that we put on the socials, that would be nice. Man, there's nothing worse. I mean, do you have any of these tattoos? Because from the look of it, you've got stylized, like that sort of Sailor Jerry sort of style tattoo.

It's called traditional. Traditional, right. They're cool tattoos, but they're not photorealistic tattoos. No. Now, they're the ones I get really anxious about when I see people have them because I'm like, it doesn't take much for this to be quite a shit tattoo. Yeah, they're the worst ones that you see,

it's someone that's tried to get like a photo realistic drawing of like a dead child or something like that and it just looks. And the eyes off by half a centimetre, it's like, oh, they look full. Full nong. I do have one realistic tattoo. Do you? Yeah, of my dead kid. On the

foot. On the sole of my foot. The way it died. When I stepped on it. I want to know that it's there, but I also don't want to have to look at it all the time. That's depressing. I feel like the kid should be remembered, but not every day.

I don't want to see not every day. Yeah. I don't want to see it every day. It's when I take my socks off. Who's that? Just when I go on the swing and someone else is watching. There's souls in my feet. I like the idea that we've said to this guy, you know, it should be something that comes up in the course of the ep,

and then if we just all of a sudden have a hard pivot and we're just talking about the worst, most rank stuff for the next 45 minutes. I got an idea. I think it could be a memorial tattoo to the Dum Dum Club, you know, in memory of. Oh, yeah. You can put the year that it started and then leave the year that's blank. Or just predict.

Yeah. Who's going to be the first guest to be on Dum Dum who's dead? I was just thinking that. Yeah, have a Deadpool. Yeah. The first guest who's dead. first so he gets to die from now oh from now because he could get a he could get a tattoo as a tribute to charlie murphy's brother no charlie murphy yes oh well you had eddie on no you know what in my head the first

time eddie murphy's ever been described as charlie murphy's brother in my head who's that guy the guy with the red leather jacket and his brothers with Charlie Murphy? In my head, I thought even Eddie Murphy's brother is too good. Even Charlie Murphy is too good for us to have gotten. Right. So there must be a step below him that we had on the pod. That's where my head was going. But yeah, you could get a tattoo that's a tribute to Charlie Murphy.

The only dead guest. The only deceased little dum-dum club guest. At time of recording. That's pretty good odds. We've been going for 12 years plus. We've only got one casualty on our hands. Only one actual dead person, but there's a lot of people who are dead to you though, Carl. A lot of career casualties.

A lot of people that don't do it anymore. A few of them knocking around. There's a few people that don't really do stand-up anymore. I think that's a good ad to be on our show. We've only got, we're only one man down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're basically going to live forever if you be a guest on this show. Yeah, we're the elixir of life.

Yes. We could, I mean, yeah, this kid, he could get a, if we kill ourselves at the end of this recording, he could get a tattoo of us. Okay. Josh, I'll give you the SD card. You need to make sure that this comes out can you do the drawing while we're doing the episode so that he's got that ready to go

oh yeah yeah yeah sure sure i'll make sure it's all um yeah because there is already there is already someone with a tattoo of like a cartoon version of us that you drew someone got me to do that and then got it tattooed on themselves in Koh Samui. Yes. There's people that have the logo. Yes. There's someone that has everything is Rick. Yes, that's right. So there's a few. Yeah.

And then people have like messaged me like just a drawing that I've posted of a random thing and going, oh, could I get this tattooed? Yeah. People have asked me to draw stuff specifically for them. So I've really, I'm running the gamut here. But this little, this kid. All right. Something about being a fan since he was 12 years old, I feel a lot of pressure

with this one. I don't want to just give him my handwriting to get tattooed on. We need someone to be brave and get a tattoo of something that Carl's drawn. I'll do that. Your comic book character that I'm obsessed with from when you were younger called Conrad Rutt.

Conrad Rutt! Was his superpower? No, no, no. Conrad Rutt. Yeah. What was his superpower? No, no, no. There was no super... Oh, okay. It was a very dumb thing that me and one of the avalanches used to draw in our diaries at school or whatever. I'll get it.

Yeah, I'll put it right beside my dead kid tattoo. That means nothing. If you get it, who gives a fuck? You've got everything. You're not fussy. What would the physical actual Conrad Rutt look like? Literally a stick figure. Now, I think we know what this kid's getting.

This is it. Well, what about this? So he's a big fan of Little Dumb Dumb Club. Now, this was sent to us a little while ago, and I haven't brought it up on the show yet, but I've wanted to. Now, there's a Little Dumb Dumb Club podcast. Do you know that there... I'm aware.

Catch up, man. That there is another podcast out there called The Dumb Dumb Podcast. This is something you can download, an actual podcast, it's been going on for a while. Now, it is this bizarre mirror image, parallel universe version of us. It's two female comedians in New York that do – there is such a thing. Jeez. We're doing a lot today.

Two female comedians in New York called Dumb Dumb Podcast. Right. Two unsuccessful comedians. So there's still like something to tie us back. But they've been doing it for a couple of years it's so weird so there's one blonde girl

and one sort of like bald girl no she's from South America or something like that so that's you know that's the ethnic one like you sure sure

she says yeah yeah yeah yeah the start of the episode always starts with a girl's voice. So again, same deal. She's got thrush, the female panther. So yeah, it's so weird that there is another version of us out there. Are you going to sue? You're thinking about it.

No, no, no. I more like the idea of there being a franchise, there being a version of us in each country. I love this. Yeah, that's great. We've talked about this kind of thing before. We're the Jim's Mowing a Podcast. Yeah.

That would be great. The League of Extraordinary Podcasters. Yeah. I mean, at this point, we're not getting anything out of these people because they've just done it. So I guess we could just show people that it can be done. The business is going. We pretend we've got money out of them and say,

hey, you're in Finland and you don't have your own idea for a podcast. What about our idea for a podcast? What about our idea for a podcast? Bunch of people sit in a room and talk about whatever comes up. It's our idea. Yeah, and we're at the top. We're getting... You're paying us to franchise this wonderful idea.

Occasionally, one of us holds grudges. Occasionally? Well, for the pod anyway. Well, for when it's watered down, you know. Right, right, right. Obviously, yeah. Obviously the maccas you're getting now isn't like the, you know, what the fellas were cooking up in the 50s.

Right. It's diluted a little bit. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love this idea. Yeah, this is great. So go international. Yeah, France first

La Dum Dum do you yeah yeah do you would you like to now are you interested in the New York version of us

the Dum Dum podcast can I ask quickly before we get into this because I did someone alerted us to this yes and I saw

you messaged them from our account yes silence silence absolute radio silence yes which is it was a little bit and it's funny that it's like you messaged them from our account. Yes. Silence. Silence. Absolute radio silence. Yes. Which is, it was a little bit, and it's funny that it's like two attractive women and then

just a message, oh, you're like us. Is there any way we, and then just like absolutely fresh air. I like how you got the tone of the message I see. I mean, it's so crazy when you reach out to someone and you go, hey, it's like the same thing and they just complete, they have like no interest. Is that one of two things though? Is that just like women just so used to getting messages from men going,

I'm not going to respond to this? Or do you think they're worried that this is going to be a legal dispute? Yeah, well, maybe. Could be. Yeah, they think we're mad and the next step's going to be, you've got to take the pod down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did they leave you on read? To be honest, I don't think we got through. I't think that went to other i think maybe yeah okay if only you

had a like an army of fans who could message them for you yeah i think i've got are you gonna play a bit of the show yeah i've because i think i've got a way that we could maybe get in touch with them so let's have a listen and then Don't send them a picture of your dick. You get a tattoo of our dicks and then we send them a picture of that. We send you over. We fly you over there. Because you don't have any photo realistic ones so you can't get a really bad version of that dick. It's just like a cool cartoon version.

And I won't need a lot of space for them. Yeah, a little parakeet perched on the end of it. Just do it on my baby toe. Oh, man. Look at both of them on there. Ah, fuck. She's got us. Yes.

Now, should I give you a taste of what they're like or their theme? Maybe a taste. Maybe we could do a taste test. Oh, like their theme song? Yeah. Let's hope it's a theme song yeah let's open with the theme song theme song yeah

let's go chronological let's do that second let's do this alright alright Quentin this is wait wait wait I don't

okay no go ahead I was gonna say I feel like I just need to step in here for a second what are we gonna just start making fun of two women no no

that we don't know well we don't know what we don't know what it is yet maybe so you haven't listened at all? You did. No, I have. Okay, all right.

Yeah. I don't know why you would say making fun of. I'm trying to make this show better. This is so good. By putting on another podcast. This is going to make the show better. Also, it's like this is, I reckon, honestly, five seconds after saying I can fit both your dicks in my tiny toe.

Let's not make fun of women, though. Okay, no worries. Oh, sorry. Did I hurt your feelings? I love this. I'm tuning in to listen to the podcast this week, and now I'm listening to them listen to another podcast. I love it.

It's great. Now we find out that there's a dum-dum that's been going even longer than us. Oh, please. Like Botswana. And then there's an episode where they're like, listen to these idiots listening to the dum-dum from New York. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you want to listen to my podcast, I'd love the numbers.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're getting views off this. Yeah. All right. Do you want to hear a little bit? Yeah, I want to hear a little bit. Just to say, because the thing is I'm fascinated. I'm like, because I see the two girls go, okay, this is me and you, Tommy.

Yeah. What have we got in common? What have we got not in common? What's the differences here? They're in New York. Melbourne's a happening city as well. No, they're doing gigs and everything. They're in the world of stand-up.

They've clearly done this podcast to sort of make up for the fact that they're not that successful at stand-up comedy. So I was like, okay, all right. They're getting messages that they're ignoring. Yes. All right, here. We'll play just a little bit. Okay, yeah. I was having so much fun in a pool.

I don't know why that's funny. I don't know either. You're flashing around in a pool like a seal. I'm having so much fun in a pool. Okay, go on. We've got to get more supportive of each other

one time I was having so much fun in a pool you know you did this is something that

you pooped your pants no you didn't you pooped your pants shout herself in the pool. Is that what she said? I know.

It was at my house. I ran. You did not. I ran inside and it was like a big, big, big. Oh, my God. How much poop fell on me? Okay, please stop. Sorry, Margie.

All you need to know. So you've got, you shit yourself on runs. She shits herself in the pool. You just need someone to shit himself on a bike. You've got, you shit yourself on runs, she shits herself on the pool, you just need someone to shit themselves on a bike, you've got the triathlon. Now play a clip from them. Oh my god, Carl, you shit yourself on Ridge Road. How much poop gave it?

When I was shitting myself on my runs, I don't remember you laughing that hard. A little bit of support might have been nice, okay? It was in lockdown. I was like, life's bad enough at the moment without hearing this. Adults calling it poop, I've got to say, by the way. It really bothers me. Use the technical term of brown ice cream.

Grow up girls if you're listening to this. That's what the guy should get tattooed. He should get like chocolate in a cone chocolate ice cream in a cone and have brown ice cream.

Brown ice cream. That's good. Or all the Officeworks card that I wiped my eyes with. Yeah. Officeworks card and the name on it is brown ice cream.

That's a thing that happened by the way to all. Brown ice cream? Yeah. We saw it. We went after. Yeah. I used to

I shit myself quite a bit in lockdown when I would go on runs I'd go on literal runs and just get caught short all the time so being from Perth

you don't understand how hard the lockdown was yeah yeah sorry now I have to now I have to explain what lockdown is sorry I just like

but you were locked in your house like how could you not make it to the toilet we were allowed to like hour a day exercise. And that was the time?

Yes. Oh, my God. You've got some fucking gut issues, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He needed a full loaf of bread at like four in the afternoon. Go for the run at like six. No, go for a run at like eight or nine. Gut issues, brain issues.

It's all issues. Fuck. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah, I was eating a lot of high fiber bread. Yeah, I was going to say. This is, you know, some to say This is you know Some people I'm worried about you

Baked bread in lockdown Some people just ate it So Can I say So your theme is by Arlo Black Yeah Yes So what's their theme

Alright I'm glad you asked Vera White I also just quickly I love the idea No Goodbye White Goodbye White Hooroo Hooroo White I love the idea. No, goodbye, White.

Goodbye, White. Hooray, White. I love the idea that you've clipped that out and you've sat there listening to hours of this show and you've just been loving it. It's all just like really high quality, great stuff. And then the one bit where it's just like them laughing in a pool, he's like about shitting in a pool, he's like, eureka. I've got him listening on double speed

just going there's got to be something I can use no no that's literally it's literally the first clip they put up

on their Instagram page oh really okay right so I haven't I haven't gone that deep into it I was assuming you were sitting there

with the reel to reel just like clipping out that was me in the Uber on the way here okay let's hear the theme song alright here's the theme song

so right here we go let's hear the theme song. All right, here's the theme song. So, right, here we go. Let's hit it. Hi. This is the Dumb Dumb Podcast. I'm John Moncora. This is already done. I'm a dumb dumb. Let's play.

Help me right through the long time. We're the dumb dumb. We could just use this. Yeah. That's my idea. Let's just start use this. Yeah. That's my idea. Let's just start using this. Let's just take their theme. Keep playing. There we go.

They took our name. Yeah. We take their theme. Yeah. The punishment should fit the crime. That's a good theme. I mean, like you already mentioned, we've got Aloe Blacc's music.

Obviously, you know, by permission. Aloe Blacc's another stage name of mine, by the way. I made that track, yeah. Oh, did you re-record it Taylor Swift style? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tommy's version. Tommy's version. It goes for 18 minutes.

But that's a good theme. That's a good theme. We could just use that from now on. I feel like every podcast that starts now, it's like you get a track made and you've taken little out of context, you know, little grabs from over the course of the podcast. Yeah. You know, little sound bites that you're peppering

throughout the theme song. Can I say Talking Dumb Dumb doesn't have a theme. Oh, yeah. Maybe this could be Talking Dumb Dumb. If you knew those guys who do Talking Dumb yeah yeah we'll send it we we got the same management i really hope that they do this too like i would love that they go on there and they find a stupid clip which won't be hard i do like the idea that our shows each week just become about each other yes so we're reviewing that.

We don't have to come up, you know, we don't have to shit ourselves in Bridge Road anymore. Yeah, every week becomes a diss track. Yeah. Yeah. Back and forth. Like that fuck you and then fuck you right back. Yeah. In the early aughts.

Yeah. Yeah. So I think we could definitely just sort of. We need to, I mean, we need to make contact with these people. Yeah. This is... So... I think what needs to happen, I think the main reason we haven't got a reply from them

is that there hasn't been a lot of activity on their page. Basically, ever since we found out about it. So, I don't think they've... Well, they haven't updated the Insta since early this year, I think. Right. New tattoo idea for a dude. He should get I Like the Dum Dum Podcast Better. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I heart dum-dum brackets. The girls from New York. Not the two fuckheads from Melbourne. Yeah, not the club. Yeah, not the little club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The hot girlies. What about that?

Little Dum Dum Club with like a Strike through little And club Yeah yeah yeah That's pretty good That's good Have you looked on Like on their Have you looked them up

On a podcast app To see When the last time They did an episode was No I haven't done that Yeah maybe we should do that Because So this

Interestingly enough I got an email this morning From Ex-friend of the show Ronnie Chang Clang Ex-friend? Clang.

He hasn't been on in a while. But he CC'd in a comedian from New York who's coming here to Melbourne and he asked me if I would put this person in touch with some, you know, some room runners and stuff in Melbourne. If only he knew one. Yeah. But he was like, yeah, can you, you know, she's great. Here's her reel.

Put her in touch with some good gigs and, you know, maybe even think about having her on the podcast. And so, I mean, I think now I write back, I'm like, sure, I'll do you this favor if you do one for me. You start pounding the pavement in New York and you find these dumb, dumb girlies and you get them to get in touch with us. Yeah, sure. If you can get them to come on the pod,

then I'll do what I can to just message some people and get your friend to kick. So it builds up. So you have correspondence. You know where it's going to end up? You're going to meet them halfway. Koh Samui is halfway. Is that halfway?

Is that? It's halfway. I think it's like a 37 flight from New York. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's a shame. It's a shame we're not closer geographically, but. We could get them on Zoom. We could do an app with them down the line.

I mean. We're just interviewing them about like, so how'd you come up with the name? Just popped into our heads yeah all right well uh you should write a quiz like you know like that determines if who's a tommy and who's a carl yeah yeah yeah yeah one of the one of as i was talking then it was like one of them's called cara it's like you've sort of stolen my name like tonya and yeah she stole it. She took it. She stole my shit. Hey, the podcast, our podcast has been going longer. I've been around longer than them.

That's fair. They're clearly younger. Yeah, that's fair. So I didn't steal it from them, okay? So her mum. Yeah, you find out that her mum like visited Maryborough at a certain point in her life. I saw this little kid in a shop. Got chased out of a shop.

Little kid said, it's not... For a second I thought they owned news agencies. That was the dream. No, that was never owned a news agency. Okay. Yes. What else we got? Should I play a little bit more or not?

Well, have we found out? Are they still doing it? Oh, you look it up. Yeah, okay, I'll look it up. I'm still trying to find clips. it's just called dumb dumb dumb podcast dumb dumb podcast dumb dumb podcast all right i think i'm about to just be a subscriber search for our pod okay there's a uh okay i feel like if these girls are listening i just want to let you know that we're sitting in a room with a dog and it's fallen asleep so you know you don't have to reach out with my old podcast there was another don't you

know how i am podcast out there and their one was talking about uh people on planes like yeah who are being entitled yeah like okay on planes yeah yeah i Yeah, I can't find this podcast on the podcasting app. It's just called Dumb Dumb Podcast. That's it. Damn. Maybe they've deleted it. Oh, I don't know. Maybe our fans.

What about Spotify? Yeah, hang on. What about this, Tommy? I think you'd like this clip while you look at this, while you find that. It's really hard to Google this without just finding us. Yeah. Google yourself much which makes you think surely they they're aware of us when they've been like they must have been yeah yeah i don't know because every time you start a podcast you search it to see if anyone's

talking about it so yours would come up oh yeah okay yeah okay well here's this i think this you would feel a kinship with these guys, especially after this. Okay. A host brought me up and she said, this girl has a dumb, dumb podcast. It's called The Dumb. Okay, so you find that funny.

My feelings are hurt. What? She's very supportive as a co-host. This girl has a dumb, dumb podcast. That's great. I know. You have no idea how many anything you want me to plug

I'm like the dumb dumb podcast you're like the what and I'm like that was a point that's why we named it because it would make us laugh before we get on stage

and they're like what did you say I'm like dumb dumb I love correcting them what did you say dumb dumb

podcast there you go like I like it that they're having the same problem we had. This is a great idea. Now, no, this is the worst name. This is the worst name to say out loud to anyone else. What if the end of this was you and I leaving our partners to move to New York

and get together with Tonya and Cara? Oh, wow. I found it, by the way. Oh, you found it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a bit of research. Are they still posting apps? The last podcast they did was the 30th of September 2022.

Oh, okay. Long dormant. Yeah. And so did you message them on Instagram? Yes. Yeah, where they have 247 followers. Yes. Look.

Oh, well, did you check out their individual pages? No. You've got to say no. I feel like we checked, did you check out their individual pages? No. You've got to say no. I feel like even though you definitely did, you've got to say no. Yeah. One of them has like a significant amount, like a lot more followers than the other one. Okay. And she doesn't have the podcast on her, um, on her bio anymore.

Okay. Interesting. Interesting. But the other one does so we might have to do them over concurrent weeks yeah okay both on the same app there might be like some like real good goss yeah i've just so the the names are rachel williams and cara and cara martinez um so yes so rachel williams follows ronnie okay yeah so maybe they know So, yeah, so Rachel Williams follows Ronnie. Okay. Yeah, so maybe they know each other.

Yep. But now I've got to figure out if Rachel follows Ankara anymore. Maybe they don't do the podcast anymore because they've had a big fight. A big falling out. Somebody always dumber. Get them on. Ask the person with the least amount of followers first. Get her to tee off on the other one and then the other one's got to come on. Right of reply. Fuck. Somebody. Get them on. Ask the person with the least amount of followers first. Get her to tee off on the other one and then the other one's got to come on.

Right of reply. Yes. Yes. I mean, yeah, if you're either of these ladies and you're listening to this, this has got to be a bizarre experience. Yeah. Hearing us talking about your pod. All the way on the other side of the world.

That you haven't done for like eight months now. Yeah. If it was me, I'd be disturbed. Yeah. I'd be glad that I live on the other side of the world. If it was in the same city, I'd be worried. I think if you're a normal person, you'd be disturbed. But if you were a New York open mic-er, you'd be fucking wrapped.

I think that would be very exciting. Honestly, like if you heard, if there was like a, I don't know, a Finnish comedy podcast that started talking about us and you go, this is hilarious. Yeah. Because I don't know if I ever talked about this on the show, but so there used to be a Tonight Show in Australia, right, called The Tonight Show with Steve Visard.

Yes. No, was it? No, Tonight Live. Tonight Live with Steve Visard. Tonight Live with Steve Visard. No, was it? No, Tonight Live. Tonight Live with Steve Visard. Tonight Live with Steve Visard. And I don't think I'm speaking out of school by saying that it was an insane rip-off of Letterman, of the late show. I think the statute of limitations is up on that one.

So you're free to go. Yeah, and I think Visard's got enough lawsuits to deal with. He doesn't need to start one with me. So, yeah, yeah. So he, the show was like living in an era in like the late 80s where there's no internet. We didn't have Letterman over here. The only reason you were going to know about Letterman is if you went on holidays to New York

and watched it on TV or whatever. So he would just, the show was just insanely aped around Letterman. About like they had a band leader in called Paul who would just go, hey, yeah, yeah, every five seconds. It was on purpose annoying. And he would throw the pencil around. He'd add the top seven list or whatever.

It was just... Got a gap put in his teeth. I love the top seven. They couldn't quite get the writers to do ten. So we'll just do top seven. This will be fine. But that would be classic American. Well, we have classic american population here we don't need ten things that'd be classic american as australian though they've got like a team of like 30 writers over there

and it's like there'd be like two blokes here doing it yeah yeah who can i say i i'm sure still writing for australian tv shows all right ronnie jane so someone's sensitive Yeah so So Anyway Point being Is that They didn't ask for permission It wasn't a franchise They just did it And they just ripped off

Letterman Yeah Now the thing was That I heard That the word got back To Letterman And the show Because I talked to someone

Actually it was A previous guest of the show Jeff Stilson One of our many Many still alive previous guests. Yeah, this could be you. We need to add up how many people have been on the show and have a counter on the website.

Previous guests still alive and then previous guests dead. So we've just got one and then we've just got whatever it is. Like a counter, like days without incident. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A counter that just every time we get a new guest it goes up by one also have another one how many guests have been cancelled now like yeah yeah yeah that's a bit of fun for everyone i can see why we would put the effort into that so um so anyway point being so they didn't get permission they did this weird aldi version of uh late show with david letterman and they found jeff stillson was telling me he was in the writer's room of

letterman they found out about they got tapes shipped over to them from australia and they were watching them and i was like oh wow did you get litigious they're like fuck no it was hilarious yeah we're watching this third world country like like, pretend to be us. Like, I was just watching it going, ah! This is so dumb. Yeah. Because, like, who cares? What's going to happen to them? Yeah.

It's like, well, we're going to lose ratings. Yeah. Oh, this show's going to become the biggest show in Australia. Yeah. Who gives a fuck? Yes. Because people used to do that. So people used to, comics used to steal Stephen Wright's jokes

because he writes joke jokes and do them on stage. Yes. And Tony Martin interviewed Stephen Wright and said, oh, do you, like, people are doing your gear in Australia. Do you care? And he goes, as if I give a shit. Well, people are doing it in Australia. Steal it.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's, well, yeah, so that's. So you're saying, so we're Letterman and they're Steve Martin. Yeah. No, I'm saying they wouldn't care what we're saying about them because they're Steve Martin's No I'm saying They wouldn't care What we're saying about them

Because they're in New York They're in the greatest city on earth Yeah Well and they're dealing with The breakdown of a friendship Well Potentially We think

Potentially We're assuming I can't figure out They quit the pod They're not friends anymore I can't figure out how to Maybe we could bring them back together Or they split you two up Yeah We get a crush on the same one Oh yeah Oh, my God. They're not friends anymore. I can't figure out how to... Maybe we could bring them back together.

Oh, they split you two up. Yeah. Yeah. We get a crush on the same one. Oh, yeah. Are you more of a Cara or a Rachel? I think I'm... Cara's the South American one, right? No.

Oh, yeah. Cara Martinez. Oh, look at you, fake fan. All right. Hang on. Rachel still follows Cara. All right. Okay. All right you, fake fan. All right, hang on. Rachel still follows Cara. All right. Okay.

All right. So we'll get to the bottom of it. Yeah. We need to make contact. It's crazy to me that you would potentially get a message like that and just ignore it. Yeah. Like it's so interesting.

Well, I'm just glad that they're still friends because confirmation they both still follow each other.'m just glad that they're still friends because I've confirmation they both still follow each other. That doesn't mean they're still friends. Yeah, okay. That's fair enough.

Well, now I'm thinking about other stuff to bring up with the added impetus of like this is potentially anything I talk about now for the next 15-ish minutes is potentially going to end up

tattooed on a young boy. So, you know, I really want to choose my words wisely. Yeah, maybe to end up tattooed on a young boy. So I really want to choose my words wisely. Yeah, maybe don't say tattooed on a young boy. Let's just assume that if they're getting a tattoo, they're not a young boy anymore. Yeah, okay. Yeah, they're a young man.

Yes. How very Cara of me. We're getting your words tattooed on a strapping young lad. Yeah, on a beautiful, supple young boy. A new-bought man. I just really had deja vu, which is really concerning for that to be the moment that's like, I've been in this discussion before.

A supple young boy. This has happened before. Something I said is going on a young boy. How many times have I said that? You won't know this tour. I don't know if Josh and Carl if you noticed this, but we're at my house. We're in my little spare room.

We've had a bit of a rearrangement in here. Kind of changed things around a little bit. You've got your toys on a different shelf now. Got rid of the drum kit. Oh, no drum kit. Did you sell the electronic drum kit? No, it's in storage at my parents. Cool. Which they offered.

Too cool, bitch. Take that. They offered and I'm sure I'll never hear the end of it. Your dad's just learning how to play the drums. I wouldn't put it past him. Yeah, actually, he did kind of leap at the opportunity. I really thought I was going to get a bit of pushback, but he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, leave him. But your mom's like secretly really good and she's like the teacher in Whiplash and she's just like yelling at your dad. Just slapping your dad in the face. You're never going to imagine anything. Is that late or is that early? Is that late or is that early?

She had this whole like past life before meeting my dad that I don't know about and she just sees them sitting in the garage. Actually, you know what? I've never seen your mom and Karen Carpenter in the same room. Also, this chair's new. Had a little gaming chair in here for a bit. Now you've got a grown-up big boy chair.

Yeah, you are a big boy. You need a tattoo. Was it your choice to get the gaming chair? Yeah, it just took up too much space in here. Not really in it enough to warrant it. And what did you do with that? Your dad's got it? Put it on Facebook Marketplace. Was it your choice to get the gaming chair or your partner's? Yeah, it just took up too much space in here. Not really in it enough to warrant it. And what did you do with that? Your dad's got it? Put it on Facebook Marketplace.

Oh. Which went about as well as you would imagine. You haven't sold anything on Marketplace, have you? I didn't. You would be driven up the fucking wall by it. Yeah, I got driven crazy already on eBay. Yeah. So I didn't want to go near that.

You would not handle it. that. You can't, you would not handle it. Yes. You can't, because the annoying thing about it is it's time waster central. Yeah. And the fact that it's coming through your Facebook messenger, which is just how I'm communicating with people in the day. So it's just constant.

It's not like, it's like, Oh, I'll just go into the eBay inbox and have a look at what's come through. It's like you're chatting to your mates and you're getting notifications from just absolute fucking high kickers coming in. I've had bad enough experience getting texts for our live show via Facebook, so I don't need to get myself driven even more insane.

Have you gone on – because you reupholster and resell furniture, don't you, Tori? Yeah, I'm a flipper. Have you ever gone in on the – do you do that through Marketplace or is that just known as a like? Yeah, no, no. I use it all. I have that Instagram and I got, I use Marketplace and Gumtree.

And yeah, there's a lot of time wasters, but I feel like if you're selling good stuff, it just goes quickly. So you must be selling shit. Well, I did end up getting rid of it, but it does like, especially if it's something that's big enough that you're like, I just want someone to come and get this. I don't want to have to deal with, like, going through eBay. It's like, hey, come to my house and get it. You will get rid of it eventually. But good Lord, like, I was asking $300 for the chair when it was nearly $600 new.

So that's already, like, a pretty good, like, you know, basically half what you would pay for it new. And you still get people going. $300 is half of $600. You're right. Yeah. And you still get people going. 300 is half of 600. You're right. Yeah. You still get people go, how about $100? And you're like, one lady was like, oh,

my brother really wants one of these for his birthday and I really want to get it for him, but I've only got $100. I was like, there's six. You need to look for a new gift. Like, you have one sixth of what these things cost. Yeah, cool. It'd be nice to buy your brother a house for his birthday. You just have to look for something that costs $100.

Years ago, my wife was selling a squash racket. It's a pretty good squash racket, but the handle's a bit frayed, so she went, five bucks, I just want to get rid of it. And the guy came to buy it, and he was like, oh, the handle's frayed, I'll give you two. She's like, the reason it's $5 is because the handle's frayed. Just put some gaffer tape on it, you'll be fine. And it's like, one guy it's $5 is because the handle's fraying. Just put some gaffer tape on it. You'll be fine.

And it's like people, like one guy was like, what about $100 and cash? And it's like, cash is happening. That's the only safe way to do this. Cash isn't a sweetener. That's the only way I'm letting this happen. I don't pay cash. I prefer bank transfer. Oh, look, I'd prefer it, but I don't want to get ripped off.

Yeah. I guess if you're, you know, selling a $5 racket, $5 is good. But I feel like if someone's going to do that. But I mean, for a $300 chair, I always put cash or bank transfer preferred. And then, you know, someone's going to scam you. You just know. You can't tell a scammer from not a scammer. You're a fucking idiot.

The problem too is that like i think most people it's not even that i was asking an unreasonable price i think most people just they have the haggle thing in them yeah they're like yeah i'm just gonna try it on yeah so you probably best did you counter did you counter back i was just going back and going no it's three yeah it's three yeah i had someone turn up to mine we were selling a mattress For like a hundred bucks Ew I know People were gonna buy it

And then they came And they said Oh I've only got 80 on me And I was like Well you're not getting the mattress It's a hundred Oh I've only got 80 There's an ATM down the road

And then they Eventually found Another 20 bucks in their car Oh It's always in the car Yeah I love that Because you know that person's

Gone in and gone God this is shrewd. Yeah. This is the fucking guerrilla mindset. I've got this guy over a barrel. Yeah, I mean, he's got nowhere to go. His mattress is just sitting there in his house. What else is he going to do?

So one of them, one reply I got, and again, it's like, yeah, the first couple are just really low-balling me. I'm like, fuck, this is so annoying. So this is like maybe the third or fourth message I got back for it. Hey there, bit of a curveball here, but just respectfully wondering if you would be willing to trade me for eight slabs of Corona alcohol seltzers worth $120 each slab at Dan Murphy's. Just so you know, the best before date on them is June this year.

So seven weeks left, but they'll last a bit longer. I don't know. I'm not a food scientist. Doesn't hurt to ask. Yes, it's a really good deal because I want you to trade with me. Thanks and let me know.

Yes, it is a really good deal. I mean, I'm asking $300. People are lowballing me me this guy's offering me a bar eight slabs of something at 120 a slab 960 value and there was like there was a little part of me in my head that was like i mean even if i get half of that i'm still coming out on a profit on this chair yeah i mean you're saving yourself from going down the shops and buying yourself $960 worth of alcohol seltzer. You love seltzers too.

You would have been happy doing that because you go through that every six, eight weeks or whatever. Yeah, I'm saving myself from having to buy the rope or the razor blades. I can just kill myself by drinking nothing but Corona alcoholic seltzers, a product which I didn't even know existed. Not just seltzers, off seltzers. Well, seven weeks to go. Seven weeks until they go off.

Terminal seltzers. How many slugs? Eight. And he sent a pic. Whoa. He sent a pic. He got those off the back of a truck. Is he delivering or do you have to pick them up?

Well, so look behind you, Carl. So I go, sounds great. Thanks for the generous offer. Have you tried the seltzers? Are they any good? It's a fair question, I think. Hang on. I think you've got to do the sums.

Eight slabs, did you say? Yeah. Eight slabs. So that's eight times 24 and that's 192. 192. And how many weeks to go? Seven weeks to go. Seven weeks to go. Seven weeks to go.

So seven to 49. So you're drinking four of these a day to get through them. I mean, if we went into another lockdown, I could fucking do that. That's a good lockdown deal. I'd be selling them on your fucking street, you know? Like a lemonade stand. I'm like, you guys are not thinking about this clearly. You sell that ship.

You flip it. That's the offer. Little Tommy's seltzer stand. 192. Yep. You sell them for three bucks a bottle. You're making your money back on your chair. Who are you selling them to?

People out of Frontier in this suburb that we don't mention. I mean, I did kind of think, like, yeah, there was a moment in my head where I was like, because I've got a friend that works at Dan Murphy's, and I was I mean, I did kind of think, like, yeah, there was a moment in my head where I was like, because I've got a friend that works at Dan Murphy's and I was like, maybe I could get deep into, like, what their refund, you know, like, could I take these back and get, like, you know, some of the, I was like, could I turn a profit out of this? Could I exchange this chair for double what it's worth?

The only time anyone would ever have gotten rid of that amount of alcohol in that style of drinking everything is with you right then. No one else is doing a deal like that. So I said, are they any good? And he said, yeah, bro, I've been drinking these for the past four months. My only issue is that I'm fighting the best before date. Otherwise, I would have kept every single one. So how many did he have to start with?

I have made quite a few trades already and i'd really like one of these gaming chairs i tried these before any of the white claw seltzers or any of the competitors and i reckon these are way better no comparison even a little bit okay so he he works is this like viral marketing yeah yeah so he's there's eight slabs left he's been drinking them all the time he's already made a bunch of these trades how many fucking slabs did he have to start with yeah and how did he get them yeah well so who on purpose goes and buys 50 slabs of anything well so i said they do sound very yummy are they too fiz? My tummy doesn't do very well with bubbles.

And can I ask how you ended up with so many of them? Great. He now thinks you're a kid. Yeah, yeah. You sound like you need a tattoo. Oh, yeah. Now he thinks I'm a kid. I wasn't having the gaming chair that gave it away.

Bro, these things are good as. No fizz, no sugar. I don't drink Jim Beam because of the sugar and the fizz. There won't be any fizz in eight weeks' time. These things are amazing, bro. And I got them by being the right person in the right place at the right time, doing that little bit extra that I'm required to. What?

How good's that? So that means don't ask any further questions. I think a bit, yeah. It's one of those stories where you make your own luck. Ah, the American dream. Oh, I was just in the right place at the right time at someone's house when they weren't home with the door unlocked. The truck door was wide open.

Yeah, you don't want this guy knowing where you live. You're dropping off the chair yourself. Limited supply, unfortunately, though, and I'm right on the home stretch. Where are you located, by the way? And sorry for the early messages. I fell asleep last night after messaging

you. Someone's wiped themselves out on the seltzers racing against that seven week slow. He's playing his games in his bed.

He needs a seat to sit up in so he doesn't fall asleep all the time. He's just lying in bed drinking all night. He's made a chair

out of all the fucking slabs. A little throne. Yeah, throne. So by this point, I've sold the chair. Guy's come and gotten it. So you go onto the ad and you click this is done so you don't get any fresh messages from people.

And so then he, this is like a day later, just out of the blue, congrats on the sale, my guy. And I go, thanks, man. I'm sorry it didn't work out with the seltzers. Is there anything else you'd trade for them? But I got a better offer of 17 slabs of Fanta. I said, is there anything else you'd trade for them? And he said, bro, no sweat.

You deserved cash for it. Yeah, I'm also after a motorbike and an iPad. Or possibly a watch. I like that possibly Not even certain that I need a watch Not even certain if you trade Seltzer for a watch I don't know

It'd have to be a pretty good watch I don't know If you have anything else you would like to trade Just send me a photo RC cars etc Otherwise I wish you all the best bro I'm glad you got what you needed for it And I said

Hmm I'm just trying to think what I could trade. I do a podcast that's pretty popular. Do you have a business or something? We could do an ad for you in exchange for one slab. And he writes back, nah, bro, no business. It was a very limited time and a once-only opportunity, which if it was a few months ago, I may have considered it, but I literally have under 20 of these left.

Otherwise, I probably would have just given you one for free at the peak, bro. a few months ago i may have considered it but i literally have under 20 of these left otherwise i probably would have just given you one for free at the peak bro and then and then now i'm thinking like fuck what you know is there anything and you know i'm thinking we got these fucking milan t-shirts that aren't oh yeah i'm like what about a box of 50 black t-shirts can i yeah can i get on should i be getting on the marketplace to sell these Milan T-shirts? That's a good idea. Is this what I should be doing from now on? I said, what about a box of 50 black T-shirts? And he goes, nah, I'm good.

Can you please stop messaging me? The hunter has become the hunted. I went from, I turned into the, you know, this is like, I got driven mad by the process. I became the very thing I hated in this world. I'm the time waster now. So yeah, look, Facebook marketplace. It's a great avenue to sell things.

You just got to have, you just got to be patient. How long ago was those messages? This was during the week. So this was like Tuesday, Wednesday. I'm just trying to figure out in my head how many slabs he's got left by now. Yeah. Message him. Also, I also want... Next season of The Yarn, I want to know how he got the slabs.

Oh, good idea. Yeah, good idea. As a yarner. Send us some fanfic about how you think he came into possession of these. Are we thinking, what, 20 slabs of Corona alcoholic seltzers? It sounds like he had more to begin with. He's at 100%. Yes.

If he's been slowly trading. Maybe we could fish, because I think I've- Trading and drinking. I've done my dash with this guy. We've got six more weeks. Now, he's already mentioned that he wants a motorbike and iPad or possibly a watch. I think- Maybe you've got to put up an ad for a motorbike and just flush this guy out.

Oh, wow. Okay, great. And then have a picture of me on the motorbike looking particularly thirsty. Looking at your watch. Sweat dripping from my mouth. Really parched mouth. Looking at the Rolex. Ah, time for a seltzer.

Photoshopping myself into the desert on the motorbike. Yep, yep. But I do think, yeah, if those, you know, you would think that trying to get rid of the Milan shirts on here would have worked. But it's just not working. So we've got to look at other avenues. Facebook marketplace. I want to hit this guy up now.

So it's six weeks to go until they expire. I'm going to wait five weeks and hit him up and really drive a hard bargain. Yeah. With one week to go and he's still probably got four or five slaps. Also, can you guys flip this, you know this to get rid of the Milan t-shirts? This guy was prepared to barter. Would you barter? Would you trade stuff?

People got stuff around the house for a Milan t-shirt. Yeah, look, I think that might be the best avenue at this point. Yeah. What are we? Oh! Oh! Bless you. Oh, you scared the dog.

I thought I was going to get away with that. I really thought I was going to hold on to that. It's okay. It's fine, cute. Sorry. It's fine. Sorry. Sorry, we don't say the dog's name on the show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do we need for the podcast? What do we need? For the shirts? Yeah, yeah. Like, what do we need? Like, it's all right for us to go, oh, I want a fucking pot plant or whatever. It's like, no, but what do we need for the podcast?

Oh, like some – The shirts belong to the podcast. Yeah, it should stay in the ecosystem, not just like a – Yes. Yeah, you or I wanting a – Yes. Yeah, that's a good question. Do we need some – I mean, these mics are fine,

but, you know, they're not the best quality ones out there. Okay. We can get some like high-end broadcast quality microphones. See, I was thinking more like, you know, five-star reviews on every single podcast app you got.

Like, I'll do this a favor for it. Don't get greedy. No, I'm saying, oh, you reckon a microphone's less than fucking clicking five stars?

Yeah. Oh, you write a theme song for us. Oh, yeah? And you get a t-shirt. Ring up any like request line and request something

a dum-dum related thing yep record it send it in oh hang on bring up triple J and request instead of a song one of our episodes

episode 3 episode 12 yeah yeah what yeah the Australian or whatever yeah

what about like fan art do you guys get any fan art we get fan art from time to time it's a little echoey in here where we generally record. If you send us some sound bath, we had to be good. Yeah, what about, because like America's Own Dumb Dumb Podcast,

they've got, like even though they'd only just started, episode one they had the whole camera. It's recorded. The camera set up, the little studio and everything like that. We don't have that. If you buy us a full camera set up, you get one T-shirt. If you give us this expensive really cool thing we'll give you the thing that no one else

wants alright we can think on this we can think on what we'd barter the t-shirts for and maybe Facebook marketplace I think just throw it up on marketplace and say willing to trade for anything and see what happens that'd be funny can you get on there and say for to trade for anything and see what happens. Oh, yeah, yeah. That'd be funny. Can you get on there and say, for sale these shirts,

but cash not appreciated. No bank transfer. I don't want any record of this. Purely bartering only. Yeah, do it. Broadcast quality cameras, or nearest offer. No time wasters. 4K Logitech cameras or nearest offer.

We will accept 1080p if we have to. We're prepared to go down that low. Also, yeah, I had a couple of things up my sleeve, but I figured, you know what? Visually speaking, if you're looking to get a tattoo of something of this ep, a little can of Corona right on the bicep. No, no, you know what? A little Milan t-shirt.

Oh, permanently there. Yeah, just to really rub it in the fact that I didn't even buy the shirt but I get a tattoo of it. Like, fuck! I want the design on me at all times.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I will not be paying for the t-shirt. Alright, we'd better wrap it up there for another week. Josh Eltor-Snyder, thank you for joining us.

Thank you. Josh, you've got your 100% Hits podcast. Volume pod. It's up every single Thursday morning. If you like pop music and music, give it a listen. It's really fun. I was just listening to your episode with Kwan Yeomans. Yes.

From Regurgitator and Happyland. Yeah. So check that out. Tor, what do you got? Nothing that cool. You're selling furniture on Facebook Marketplace. Yeah, I can upholster some things now. You do gigs in Perth.

You do gigs in Melbourne. Yeah. Go on, go on, go on, see you. Yeah, just hit me up and I'll start a little dum-dum in Canada. Yeah, nice. Just a dumb podcast. All right, guys. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, nice. Just a dumb podcast. All right, guys. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time.

See you, mates. And they've done it again. Oh, Bernard, please. Bernie, please. Bernie, please. Fun times. Yeah. Good shit.

Yeah, a bit of stuff in there. What's our listener going to get as the tat? Did we decide? No. Well, I think it's got to be we've given them plenty to play with there. And, you know, we've sort of decided that it should be something from within that ep. Maybe. It's dedicated.

Well, I mean, it's an ep all about them. So it's like, why not get something from that? Well. I like the idea that it's a tattoo of a can of Corona alcoholic seltzer. Yeah. That feels appropriate. Yeah, sure. Yeah, that'd be fun.

But I guess get on the socials and let us know. What's the definitive dum-dum tattoo? Yeah, let's get some feedback from listeners and then maybe this can be an ongoing conversation with this person. I'm happy to design it up. You could get a tattoo of Tor Snyder and then it's like, because she's got so many tats, that's like more bang for... You're actually getting sort of like 50 tattoos in one.

Oof, conservatively. Yeah. No, absolutely. Yeah, let us know. Maybe we could get someone to get a tattoo of Bernie. What does Bernie look like? Yeah, that's... Well, first we need to crowdsource the, you know,

what we think Bernie is, who we think Bernie is. Yes. What does Bernie look like to you? What does think Bernie is, who we think Bernie is. Yes. What does Bernie look like to you? What does Bernie look like to you? Yeah. Yeah. I think Bernie's a woman. Oh, really?

Yeah. Well, it's 2023, I guess. This is a great example of sometimes you're heading into a record, you're feeling a bit light on. You're like, oh, you're looking through the notes app. You're like, man, not that much has been happening. Yeah. And then literally an hour before, a little one in the top corner of Instagram.

I wonder what this is. Thank you, Lord. Yes. Very nice. Yeah. What else? What else did we have to wrap up on that episode? That's about it.

Well, we have a, I mean, people heard this last week, but we'd recorded it maybe a fortnight before that. But the people are dying to know, did you end up going to Ikea for lunch? Oh, great question. I did. I did. And I was thinking about. What a cliffhanger. And I've been going a few times.

I've gone a few times since then. Man, it's relatively close to my house. And it's such an overlooked resource. And I was thinking about going again today, but then, you know what? On Sunday night, we're recording this on Tuesday morning, Sunday night,

I had a few, I had too much dog shit to eat and then had some beers and I was like, nah, I'm resetting the clock. I can't be doing this anymore. Yeah. So I'm going to have to put IKEA off the menu there for a little while.

Yeah, okay. I mean, you can be relatively healthy there. They've got like a little salmon thing. Yeah. It's not the worst of the worst. I guess. What I would like to do is head into the IKEA food court. And I was thinking this while I was there.

It's interesting to me. Survey how many people are just popping in there for a feed. Like of the people that are in there, how many are like, had to get a chair, thought I'd do it around lunchtime, save some time in my day. Or people like you that are like, no, I just come here to eat. Yes. Look, I definitely think...

Straight through the door and to the right. I definitely think there's quite a few people in there because I was seeing people like me that have brought their laptop in there to do some work and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. None of those big fucking bags. They weren't shopping. They didn't have anything with them.

Yeah. So I think there's... Because it has its own sort of cult around it, the IKEA food. And also there's a food court downstairs. So it's like, well, people are coming there for food from offices and whatever anyway. Why not just go upstairs? Oh, like in the shopping centre where IKEA is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Down is? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Downstairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that stuff. But yeah, yeah. No, I think I got the meatballs and then the next... I came back and I got the fish the next time. Okay. Yeah.

You know what I think would be nice? You know, it's very reasonably priced food. I would like it if you could pay like an extra little, you know, a little bit on top and then you get to go and eat it in one of the display kitchens. Oh, yeah. That's on the floor. That's not bad. Because it is like the actual environment that you're in the food court.

It's pretty sterile. It's not great. Yes. There's sometimes kids running around. It's like a cafeteria. Yeah. It's very sterile. If it was like your meatballs are $12, if you bump it up to $20, you get to go sit in

this nice living room with all this IKEA furniture. Pretend that's your house. Yeah. You just get to rent the space. $25 and you get to shit in the toilet. Yeah. Well, like a lot of office works have little meeting rooms that you can hire to pretend like, hey, yeah, I've got a space set up for this business meeting I'm doing.

It's the same thing. Let me rent the living room. So you say that it's relatively good food and healthy and whatever. I can't let myself go there because the two times that I went in the last week, it's been building up to this. They've got really good desserts there. And because everything's really cheap, I just kept piling them up. Well, this is the problem for you specifically is that, yeah, it doesn't matter how healthy

the meal is. Yes. Your portion control is awful. Yes. So, I mean, if you eat eight kilos of carrots. Yes. That's bad. I agree.

It doesn't matter what the product is. I reckon I've said that out loud before as well. Yeah. It's, I got to manage this. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Yes reckon I've said that out loud before as well. Yeah. It's, I've got to manage this. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Yes. 50 of them. Yes.

Not great. It sort of becomes an alcoholic situation with a cider or something. Yeah. No, I completely agree. So I can't trust myself. I've started like, because the problem is like I have this intermittent fasting and when I break the fast, it's like, I can't once the once the waterfall opens i can't stop it so i've just been eating way too much fucking stuff so i've got to fucking i pulled my head in yesterday was a line in the

sand i got through it good and so today's just an it's just one step at a time you're like i blew out on mother's day yes i, I did. I literally did. It really sunk me. I did. Yeah, I just fucking ate too much. And then I was telling you before off air, but I went and had a beer afterwards with Milan at night. And we had this crazy guy walk past, which, look, not only am I a magnet for that, but Milan is as well. I'm a magnet for crazy people.

You're a magnet in that they come to you. They're attracted to you. But Milan is a magnet. Milan's like the, what's like the other side of them. He's the like. He's the Pied Piper of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Like this guy. He's seeking them out. This guy was quite fine to walk past and he sort of went to stop. I could feel him being pulled into my gravitational pull. Yep. But was like all right i've got to give this guy nothing but then milan's like come over here wherever you are and uh look this guy was just it was so funny because he was like he had a bottle of full bottle of champagne which is you know i always find that quite funny because it's like what are you you celebrating, cunt? Not much. Yeah.

So he had that. He had all this. He was wearing all this stuff where it was like he was wearing a Michael Jordan top and we were like going, okay, mate, are you into basketball? And he's like, yeah, actually, I really am. And we're like, really? Are you into it? He's like, yeah. I'm like, who's your favorite player? And he's like, it's Michael Jordan.

We're like, yeah. I'm like, who's your favorite player? And he's like, it's Michael Jordan. I'm like, fuck, really? And he had three items of clothing on like that where we were just pretending to be psychic and going, I don't suppose you'd be into AFL, would you? Actually, I am. What team do you bury for? Hang on. Let me guess. Is it?

We're close to Collingwood. It must be Collingwood. It fucking is. And it's like, you've got a Collingwood hat on. Didn't you tell a story like last week that was like the inverse of this, where it was like you walking around and someone going, Liverpool. And you going, what? Yes.

Yes. Yes. Exactly. So he had three different. Yeah, because it makes sense because it's like you put your clothing on and then you're like, it's not like you're walking down the street being like, I'm wearing a Michael Jordan shirt. Yes.

Yes. No, but it was very funny because this guy was like, yeah. And he's like, fuck yes. Actually, yes. And he starts talking a Michael Jordan. Yes. No, but it was very funny because this guy was like, yeah. He's like, fuck, yes. Actually, yes. And he starts talking about Michael Jordan. Then he goes, no, actually, sorry. I've made a mistake. My favorite player is not him at all.

It's Larry Bird. I'm like, what the fuck? You've just been telling us for 10 minutes about Michael Jordan. Oh, I got the other guy from Space Jam mixed up. Yeah. I'm like, where's your fucking Larry Bird top then? He's like, that's a good question. I love this.

Anyway, he was very funny. But he was like, clearly, he started telling us about what he was under the influence of. But then it just came to me and he was like, he goes, this is quite funny. He goes, I go, fuck, I was looking at him. He's being funny. And then I looked at him and went, man, you're like a young Dave Hughes. Because it all just clicked in a second. Because he had that voice.

Yep. He was funny. He was loose. He was off the cuff. He was genuinely like Dave Hughes. But then it went. He was losing it. Yes.

Then all of a sudden I was like, you look like Dave Hughes as well. And he did. And then he was like, fuck, I always get that. I'm fucking sick of that. I'm like, oh, sorry, man. Because to be honest, I only said it because you physically looked like him as well. This would rule if it was Husey doing almost like undercover boss. Yeah.

Yeah. Just to test what your riffing skills are like when you're not with a comedian. Yeah. So then he goes, anyway, like it went on and on. And he was being very funny. And then he goes um anyway like it went on and on and uh he was being very funny and then he went to leave and like milan had said you know he was living just around the corner and he clearly he'd been he told us he'd been in jail several times right and that's when we're like oh is this as fun anymore or not yeah did you get into why? We, well, what happened next was he left.

He went, oh, I better leave. But then we actually had to get him back because he'd left all his stuff there. He just gone, oh, okay, I'm going now. I'm like, okay, great. That was fun, whatever. And then he left. And then when he came, we go, oh, man, you got to come back. You got to come back.

Like, why? He's like, oh, you've left all this stuff here. He's like, oh, okay. And he comes back and sits down and I pick up the stuff that he's got. And it's like basically a newspaper, but in the newspaper, he's like been carrying something

inside the newspaper. Okay. And it falls out. Just a massive big kitchen knife. Like, okay, cool. All right. Yep. Yeah.

We'd been joking about, like, he'd been in jail and whatever and but he was like a good guy he's like fine like imagine if this guy attacked us oh he was carrying around a big yeah he was ready to go yeah yeah fucking hell yeah because that i think i told this at the time but i ran into an old friend race a little while ago and they were there with their dad and we're just kind of chatting and their dad was like, anyway, just recently got out of jail. And then I was sitting there being like, can you ask? Because it's like, yeah, I wonder what for.

And it's like, well, if this guy isn't volunteering it, then I guess it's not okay to ask. But just dropping that. And this was just like a small group of us having a drink, and then it just goes on for like another hour and i'm just so distracted i'm like i really want to know who i'm here having a drink with yeah you know it's just like getaway driver or killed someone yeah there's more there's more to the story maybe i might save it for when hughes he's on next okay yeah uh anyway end of that was

i then did some digging after we left and i found out it was like white-collar crime. Oh, right. Well, maybe that's why I didn't bring it up because it's like, that's almost like, people almost hate that more than murder. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, not cool. Not cool.

You ripped off some people. Yeah. That's not nice. You murdered someone. That's interesting. Well, I can understand. Maybe an argument got out of hand. We've all been there.

Yeah. Yeah. That's on my bucket list to kill someone but but yeah you ripped off some mom and mom and dad investors you know how a lot of people say like you know what when i'm 70 i'm just gonna try heroin because it must be great you know you want to do it i said that to someone i think i said that around my girlfriend recently and she was horrified right she was like you want to try heroin. I'm like, I don't want to try. I want to know what it feels like. And I'm saying you do it at a point where it's like, I got five years left in the tank. Who cares if it all goes to shit from here?

But what if you were like, yeah, you know what? When I'm 80, I'm just going to murder someone just to know what it feels like. Who cares if they put me away? Yeah. Who cares if they put me away? Yes. Yeah. Well, it's like, I don't know, maybe someone switched birth certificates with Fleety a long time ago. And he's been thinking he's been in his 70s for years. Yeah, yeah. It's like, ah, well, I've only got a couple of years left. Fleety, you're 25.

He's like, he's been just looking at it going, fuck, I'm doing all right for 70. I've hung on for another 25 years. This is really good. Oh, man. All right. Well, we've got to thank some goddamn supporters of the show. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub. That is where you can go to sign up, give us your money, and get two bonus mini episodes per week.

Fund our heroin addiction when we're age 70. Fund our IKEA heroin addiction in when we're age 70 fund our ikea lunch addiction oh i reckon i'm i'm staying away for the next week maybe i'll go to ikea in brisbane when we go there this week and that'll be the celebration test it out yeah it'll be fun after party at the food court we do the show and then we go to ikea afterwards that'd be good i would love to get into an ikea and be like look we'll clean up maybe just after hours like as you're closing yeah we're doing this gig can we host the after party in one of your living rooms well i mean why don't they start doing that it's just extra revenue stream we don't we don't why don't

they get licensed that'd be good um we don't we don't i mean we don't talk about this enough but i guess why why would we but it is a very funny thing, I think, that we at some stage, what, one or two years into this show, did a live pod at McDonald's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Without them knowing about it. Yeah. If you go back through the episodes, it was a birthday party. That came up the other day. It was a Facebook memory.

Yeah. Well, it was Nick Cody's birthday, which was like a week ago. Yes. That's the other funny thing about it. We did an episode as a birthday thing for our friend yes in the mcdonald's yes yes and we said we had had mics because we were recording the speeches yes we were doing speeches and it's like in the party room okay i don't think you really need this we sold tickets yes we, we sold tickets. We didn't tell McDonald's about it. Yeah.

And also I remember we're like, this is the best idea. And then I distinctly remember, I think, the audience being very nervous about it. As much as this, I think back then, like we were doing live shows to, I don't know, 100 people a show. And then to that show, we sold about 30 tickets because I think people were just like,

what is this? Are we going to jail if we go and do this? This doesn't seem legal. You know what's funny? As far as I know, a photo of that event is still the photo of me on my Wikipedia page. I think it's a photo of me on my Wikipedia page as well. Which is very annoying.

It's so funny when you go on someone's Wikipedia, anyone, and it'll be like, here's this person at an event in 2009. And it's like, is there no other more recent photo that someone can put up here? Yes. Someone changed it. Actually, that's right. Someone sent me a message and changed it. But I think that's also funny that they've changed it. They sent it to me not that long ago. They go, oh, they must have changed it but i think that's also funny that they've changed it they sent it to me

not that long ago they go oh they must have changed it but they've sent me they've they've put in a picture of me at a live pod six years ago well that's the thing it's like you'll look up you know you'll look up like bill burr on wikipedia and the photo will be like a blurry photo that someone's taken at a gig in 2007. And it's like he has headshots. Yes. He has like professional photos that you could put on here. Why is it some out of date shit photo?

Yeah. It fascinates me. It's always like it's clearly royalty free. Sure. Yeah. But someone's headshots are if they're, yeah, I don't know. It's strange. Yeah. Oh, I love this.

I like this. How clearly listeners update these pages, right? Yep. And here's the things. What I enjoy is that out of like three paragraphs of information, they've wedged in who I invited to my wedding. That's good. What's that under?

Personal life? No, I don't have the different categories. It's just one big block. Oh, okay. What's that under? Personal life? No, I don't have the different categories. It's just one big block. You just got one chunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One big chunk. Also, I love that

out of all the things they could have updated, there's a lot of stuff that's out of date in here. The one stuff they have updated is that I run comedy gigs at Morris House

in Exhibition Street, Melbourne. Oh, wow. This has been recently done. Yeah. Well, anyone who's editing, because I always... Morris House is not open yet. Not officially open yet has been recently done. Yeah. Well, anyone who's editing, because I always... Morris House is not open yet. Not officially open yet.

And also, call it Basement Comedy Club. It's the fucking name of it. Anytime I go on someone's Wikipedia page, I'm always, I'm straight to the personal life section and expanding that. I want to know like who they dated in the 90s, like all that kind of stuff. So anyone that's listening, that enjoys editing wikipedia yes can you really give both of us a big bump up on the personal life section can you actually go in and delete all the career stuff yes and just have our personal life do it do it definitely have a a personal

life section because i'm all in one chunk at the moment okay yeah so i'm imagining you are too can we get a personal life bit yeah please, please, for each of us? Please. I think there is already a mention of me having had cancer on there somewhere. So just shuffle that into, that's personal. Well, who went to my wedding is personal, I would say. But then this is the problem about doing a podcast, is that the personal life and the public life, they become so intertwined. Sure.

But look, I'll cop that if I had sold tickets to my wedding. Sure. So it's not professional. I didn't charge you. To be honest, I made a loss on that wedding. Okay? Yeah. So it's not professional.

Yeah. Great. So there's some homework for you guys. Does anyone else on Wikipedia have a beefs section? Because that'd be nice. Well, I don't know if there's room. But yeah. Someone should start a whole new website for that.

Wiki beefs. Yes. Find out who's Someone should start a whole new website for that. Wiki Beefs. Yes. Find out who's feuding with who. That's actually good. People do always want to know that. You know, there's always like, oh, apparently on this movie, these two people, you know, they didn't get along at all. Yeah.

You know, you could have, you know, you saw it with Don't Worry Darling, the press junket for that. Oh, yeah. People were like, what's going on here? Yeah. Do Harry Styles and Chris Pine hate each other? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's going on?

Well, there's one like, you know, who's dated who or something like that. You can find out who's been entangled with who. Yep. So why not the opposite? Yep. That's good. All right. Well, speaking of people that we love and hate, here's just universally people we love.

Yep. Thank you to everyone who's subscribed to patreon.com slash little dum-dum club to give us a career, to make sure we can... It's a Tuesday morning. We're around at my place instead of... Well, this is our office, but this is... My office for the day. Yes. I should put that on Instagram.

Just the end of your sausage legs and just me at the end of them. Yeah, yeah. I do have a pretty... The trees in your street are a beautiful autumnal colour at the moment. Yes. Lots of oranges and kind of like light greens. We've got a pretty nice view.

It's... But it is pissing down. It is pissing down. It's a bit of a shame. A little blanket wanted to get up and play soccer this morning. And... Rained out.

I had to say no. No. So... Take the crayons and fuck off. Yeah, that's it. Had to really sell her on how good it's going to be to draw at kinder this morning. But thank you to everyone that subscribes to our Patreon.

It really does help us out and make sure that we do this as a job instead of, I don't know, what job would you be normally doing if you weren't in comedy right now? If I wasn't in comedy? Yeah. If I comedy right now? If I wasn't in comedy? Yeah. If I wasn't doing this or I wasn't in comedy? Well.

Two different things. I had a dream. You know, I had a dream last night that I was back doing a normal, normal, outside of comedy day job last night. And it really, what, it scared, it annoyed, it freaked me out really yeah because i was i was i dreamt that i was back doing graphic design but i was doing a lot of stuff that i didn't really know how to do and the pressure was on and it was like yeah where is this and i was like it's fucking outside my skill set it was really annoying me but the weird thing was i was

working for working dog like the people that make yeah you've been paying attention you're having to do a new logo for have you been paying attention yeah yeah i was like doing like just the absolute most bullshit um work for like nothing good creatively just like whatever just just dog's body work that's fine yeah plenty of it before but it was stuff that i didn't know how to do right and that was really putting the pressure on like what and i was really freaking out going, fuck, I hate this. And I just came to that realization within the dream. I was like, I'm going to quit, but this is going to really hamper my job prospects in comedy from now on.

Because you've burnt working dogs. Yeah, because I didn't set up their spreadsheets properly and then I'm just going to walk out. You're doing the spreadsheets. I don't know. You're the graphic design guy. You're doing the spreadsheets. Yeah, but that's kind of design i guess well something's putting stuff visually onto the page the amount of times i've worked in graphic design people have been like yeah you go uh here's a spreadsheet and here's powerpoint yeah it's like

you still got to work with spreadsheets in graphic design so um yeah i was like fuck can't believe i i mustered enough courage to quit working dog in a dream. But yeah, I was like, that's that. And one of those dreams where you wake up and you go, and you're still stewing on it for like half an hour. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Now.

Yeah. So anyway, sorry. Sorry. Working dog. A stressful dream can really ruin your whole day because you're still living in it. It came from your brain. Yeah. So it's all in there somewhere.

Yeah. It's all just thoughts that are from based on something and i was like it actually took a lot out of me to muster the courage to to resign from a job that didn't exist yeah anyway uh there's a job going at a dream version of working dog guys yeah if you're if you can that's the ultimate you hear people talk about quiet quitting that's the ultimate version of it. Quitting a job in a dream. Yes. Doesn't get more quiet than that. Yes.

Being asleep. Yes. Thank you very much to everyone, including first cap off the rank this week, Patreon subscriber, Michael Lane. Michael Lane. Yeah. That'd be a real place somewhere. Yeah.

It'd be a Michael Lane. Let's get on Google Maps. Google Maps. Type Michael Lane and see what's the first thing that comes up. Man, I love Google Maps. I reckon, I can't believe I don't have Google Maps bookmarked on my laptop because I go on Google Maps nonstop. Yeah, it's a good little, it's a good little every now and then you just little thought

exercise. I wonder how long it takes to walk from fucking the Vatican to the Coliseum. Yeah. Here we go. We've got Michael Lane in Mount Evelyn, Beaumaris, Springvale, Scoresby. That's just in Victoria. So Mount Evelyn's like the top. When you type in Michael Lane, that's the first one that comes up.

Mount Evelyn? No. Michael Lane in the city, just off Bourke Street. Okay. Wow. That's not bad. It's... I've never heard of this. Yeah, me neither. I'll tell you what's in... And I'm a born and bred Melburn Street. Okay. Wow. That's not bad. It's... I've never heard of this.

Yeah, me neither. I'll tell you what's in... And I'm a born and bred Melburnian. Yeah. I'm in Melbourne right now. The one thing I can find in Michael Lane, there's not much. There's a book grocer that's still open, I think. There's a place called ereceivables.com.au.

Okay. What end of the city are we talking? We are talking in between, it's just off Bourke, but it's in between Queen and New Chancery Lane, whatever that is. Well, down, yeah, down that end. Queen and William. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I'm hardly ever going past Elizabeth.

No, there's an office works just there. Okay. Just near there. There you go, that's your point of... I'm lucky even to get down to Elizabeth, okay. Yeah. I'm hardly ever going past Elizabeth. No. There's an Officeworks just there. Okay. Just near there. There you go. That's your point of... I'm lucky even to get down to Elizabeth, honestly. No. Swanston's kind of my cutoff.

Yes. Every now and then I might do a little hardware lane, get a little food in there. Do you? I haven't been there for years. Yeah. There's a really good... I think it's kind of Lebanese. They do these little wraps, these little pitter pocket things called Miznon.

It's really good. I really recommend that joint if you're ever in the railway line. I once, and we may have talked about this before, but I used to run a gig there. On Thursday nights, it was called Five Burrows Comedy. And it was at a bar called Five Burrows, a restaurant called Five Burrows. And then it stopped happening when people bought it and said the whole time, hang on, hang on, you can still run your comedy night in there. And then once they opened, they were like, nah, we're just going to –

no, you can – we're busy that night. You can run it at 10 o'clock at night after that. Or they just completely did not understand the idea of like that it was this regular thing. They're like, no, you can just run it when we say. And then for months – and I just said, I'm not doing it anymore. And then they just ignored that. And they kept telling people that it was coming back. And people would come in and they're like, yeah, come back in a few weeks and we'll be on.

That's great. There's all this confusion. And then, and this is the bit I never understood. I think this was before Uber, I think. But, or maybe it wasn't. But one of the waiters there was like, would advertise it as he was driving an Uber and say, you should come into my restaurant. It's got like a comedy night on every week.

That's cool. Just dropping you off there instead of where you put in. Yeah. Oh yeah, can we just pull in here? Yeah. Come have a drink. And then the owner of the place ended up ringing me six months later and was like yeah so uh you ready to come back and do the comedy and i remember just having this dumbstruck conversation going i i told you i

quit six months ago yeah so yeah but you were coming back i was like i in no way ever said i was coming back and he was like oh i told you I told you, Michael Hirsch, I quit. And I'd found a new venue by then. I was like, mate, I've been running this gig at this different venue for six months. Yeah. And he's like, and I remember him going, oh, you've really betrayed me here. I was like, I haven't done anything. Hey, this is all tying in because it's like this way, this way you used to work and you quit.

Yeah. It's around that end of the city. Michael Lane. Yes. As I just mentioned, Michael Hirsch, for people who don't know. quit. Yeah. It's around that end of the city. Michael Lane. Yes. As I just mentioned, Michael Hirsch, for people who don't know. Yes. He runs Have You Been Paying Attention? Yes.

Michael Hirsch Lane. Yes. Where you quit this job. Yeah. It's all. Oh my God. I've got goosebumps. This is spooky stuff. This really means something.

Wow. This isn't just crap that came flying out of my dome. No. This is cosmic. Yep. Now I'm loving all the shops that are around Michael Lane. So if you want to... There have been people doing the Dumb Dumb Reality Tour in the past.

We're adding Michael Lane to it now. Yep. Because it's just next to a business called Awesome Detailing. Okay. You can go and do that. Or you can go to a clothing store just near there called

Up There. Oh yeah, I know that place. Do you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck's going on with that name? I don't know.

Up There Clothing. I actually don't know what it's, yeah, I don't know what the name refers to. But it's a good shop. They're about to move though on their mailing list,

and they've been really pumping up the big move. Well, look, I can't really recommend Michael Lane. There's not really much down there, to be honest. But there's a lot in our bank account because of the real Michael Lane. Maybe that's why they named a lane after him. Some of the Michael Lane cash has been spent in the past out up there. Oh, really? Yeah. Maybe that's why they named a lane after him. Some of it, some of the Michael Lane cash has been spent in the past at up there. So there you go. Oh, really?

Yeah. Bought the odd thing from there. Okay. Well, maybe just near there is a place called Red Spice Road. Maybe I should be spending some of the cash there. Oh, in that same laneway? Well, very... That sounds familiar.

It's just around the corner. Okay. Just around the corner. Now that I know that up there is near it, now I can triangulate the position of Michael Lane a bit better. Right. That is a decent little area of the city. Although, yeah, it is weird that, like,

I think most people have the same relationship to the Melbourne CBD. Swanston and above, between Swanston and Spring, you're gallivanting around there. Anything sort of past Elizabeth, you're really never going down there. Yeah. Unless your office is there. Yeah. That's it.

Yeah. There's barely anything else down there. Yes. For the common man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. I agree. Well, now there is.

Now I'm going to go and... There's Michael Lane. Now I'm going to go and get my picture with the Michael Lane sign. Yep. Just to pay tribute to the great man. Thanks, Michael. Thanks, Michael. Thanks, Michael. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Benjamin Bradshaw.

Okay. Double Bs. Double B. Benny Brad. Yep. Yeah, Ben Brad. The Bradshaw redemption. Is that something?

You mean like the Shawshank redemption? Yeah. The Bradshaw redemption.? Is that something? You mean like the Shawshank Redemption? Yeah. The Bradshaw Redemption? Yes. Okay. Yeah. All right. He's broken out of jail.

Still haven't seen it. What? This comes up maybe like once every six months. And I feel my duty to continually check in with the fact that I still, at time of recording, May the 14th, 15th, 2023, I still haven't seen The Shawshank Redemption. Do you feel like you've seen it?

Do you know what happens? Is enough people talked? I actually don't. I have also never seen The Sixth Sense, but I mean, you know, all right. I know what it's all building to yeah that's fine yeah but like even people will like make a reference to it it's two people trying to break out of prison yeah i guess so yeah yeah i guess so i mean i haven't seen it for quite a while

i vaguely i wouldn't say that's what it's all about right yeah but i mean even like people will make a little reference to it and I'm still, I don't have, I haven't been able to like fill in the gaps in my head. Right. Right. Are you, are you, look, I'm just trying to figure out how much you have in common with the average AFL player. Yeah.

Have you seen Anchorman? Oh yeah. Okay. Fucking funny. Right. Pisser? Absolute pisser. Right.

Yeah. Okay. Well, you've still got a link to that. I love Goxie. Right. Pisser? Absolute pisser. Right, right, right. Yeah. Okay. Well, you've still got a link to that profession. I love Goxie. Right. I'm two-thirds of the way there to being an AFL footballer. Yeah, yeah. So do you think, do you see it in your future?

Playing AFL? No. Playing professional AFL? Sitting down and watching the Shawshank Redemption. Yeah, I would like to see it. You know, although if I didn't do it in lockdown, then it's probably now never happening. If it wasn't one of those ones that was scrolling through Netflix

and it happened to, you know, just randomly, they'll just put something up the top. If it didn't leap out then, I can't really imagine a scenario where me and my girlfriend would be sitting down and I'd be going, although, I don't know, maybe I'll go home and mention this to her and she might leap on it and go,

oh, it's amazing. You've got to see it. Let's watch it. But if she doesn't give enough of a fuck about it, then it's just, I'm never going to end up watching it. Yeah. Maybe if you do your next lockdown

with Jason Dunstall or Tony Modra. Yeah. Renowned AFL footballers. Yeah, maybe if you do your next lockdown with Jason Dunstall or Tony Modra. Yeah. Renowned AFL footballers. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because it's also, it's not a film where anytime it comes up, the conversation is like this. It's like people going, oh, you haven't seen it. Yeah, I mean, I can't really remember it.

It's not one that people are like, oh, man, you've got to see it. It's great. You don't really get people, anytime it comes up that i haven't seen it no one is pushing for it no one is going to me you have to see it so it's easy enough to just leave it again you don't hang around enough afl footballers yeah yeah um i think it's i think it's the dumb person's smart movie right right that's what i think it is it's like the dumb person's epic yeah sure i think it's a good movie like i watched it in the cinema and i was like it was great i was like you know 18 or something at the time like that's awesome oh yeah for sure but like oh you know going on

like a long plane ride is is like peak catch up on movies time for me so it's like load up the ipad with some bangers that i never got around to like when i went to singapore i'd been talking about uh the wrestler with someone right before I went. I never saw that. And I was like, the wrestler's great. And I was like, okay, done. I'm going to watch that on the plane to Singapore. But like...

Was it good? Yeah, it's great. Okay. I did watch it, but at the time. Yeah. That's one I would say, if you haven't seen it, you got to check it out. But like, if I'm thinking, okay, I'm going somewhere. I'm going to load up a couple of

movies i've never seen i'd be thinking oh maybe this is when i finally watch shawshank but then there would be five other things that people are like really riding for pretty hard yeah that would make me go well maybe if it was like i was if i was going to like london again where that's like so many hours yeah maybe i would put it I would put it in the pile for that. What about gun to your head? Would you watch it? If I had to watch it or I would die? Yes.

Nah, man. Yeah. Would you suck a dick for a million dollars? Stay strong. If someone had a gun to your head and you had to suck off your dad or die, would you do it? Who was telling me? Someone was telling me the other day that a friend of ours that listens to this show, I think, at least semi-regularly. So shout out to you if you're listening and let me know.

Give me a call uh walked around nick cody's uh bucks party okay i think it was bucks party or but no bucks party i think and was walking around so this is years ago it was walking around saying to everyone conundrum would you rather suck off your dad or eat out your mum? Sorry, lick out your mum. Yeah, yeah, thank you. Yeah. So what you don't know, you're waiting for this person to verify whether or not they actually said that?

No, not really. No, I think that's just what was told was what they're going around saying. Like literally someone told me that yesterday. I was like, that's a very funny, I don't know. Just out loud, it's a very funny thing to say that this guy was at a party. Everyone's having fun and he's doing the rounds asking that to everyone. Like he's got a brand new toy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is a very like young man mentality of like, oh, I've just cooked up the ultimate hypothetical.

This is going to really stump people. Yeah, yeah. This is, they're going to, they're no longer going to say, oh, remember Cody's Bucks night. They're going to go, remember the night where blah, blah. Remember when I licked out my mum? Yeah. Might sound gross, but at least I didn't have to suck off my dad. Yeah.

This is the time. This is not Cody's Bucks night. This is the night that this man created the ultimate intellectual Chinese finger trap. Yeah. I had to go home. I had a headache. I couldn't. I just couldn't get my brain around which one I'd rather do.

Yeah. Everyone's completely written off. They didn't even have a drink. Yeah. They just couldn't. They all had to call Ubers. They couldn't drive home themselves. Well, the stripper cancelled at the last minute, so he had to do something.

Boys, hypothetical. The stripper stayed inside the last minute, so he had to do something. Boys, hypothetical. The stripper stayed inside the cake trying to figure out the riddle. Well, thanks, Double B. Thanks, BB. Big old Double Bs. Hey. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber

Anthony Ladson. Ladson? Yeah. That sounds like a combo, almost like a combo or a new betting agency or a combo of several. I was thinking that, yeah. Yeah. Because what have they got, Lad Brokes? Yes.

I don't get that. Is that just like the lads? What's it meant to be? Yeah, well, why is Broke in the name, for starters? Well, we know why. Why? We're going to send you broke. Yeah, but you've got a gambling addiction.

Why do you want to say that? Well, that's their defense. If people ever come after them, they're like, hey, we tried to warn you. It's right there. We tried to warn you. You'll go broke, lad. So they've just got one lawyer that says that to any case.

Anytime I see that name, I always, in my head for a second, assume that it's a spin-off of the meme webpage, The Lad Bible. Oh, yes. I always just have this thing where I think, like, man, what's the next step from having, like, millions of followers where you post, like, fail videos and stuff? Where do you go from here? The answer, open a betting agency.

Actually, a pretty good for that audience it's like hey take a punt i liked it um is australia the only country in the world i just can't think of any other place i've seen this where you know we've got our cigarette packaging if you're not from australia our cigarette packaging is like crazy in that you're not allowed to have the logo on anymore or barely like you can't have any good pictures you've only got to have pictures of emphysema you can't have them on display in the shop so they'll be behind like a you know they're not they're behind like a wooden fucking a big white sheet or whatever yeah you can't have any you can't see the product yeah and then when you get it out it just has a picture of the worst

thing that can happen to you like a decaying foot yeah yeah it's all pictures of people dead yeah or dying or whatever it is and that's that's that's one thing i don't know if other countries have that or to that degree certainly yeah now with betting they have i think they're going that way so with betting you have the betting ads but at the end they'll be like you know i'll bet you know bet responsibly know, that sort of thing. Yep. Now they've got Dave O'Neill putting like a voiceover at the end of betting ads going, you'll probably lose more than you win. Yeah, right. Yeah, you're probably going to lose. That's like, have you ever seen any ads for like pharmaceuticals from America where they're like,

you know, they advertise like antidepressants and stuff like that. And they'll have like, you know, a person like, ah, now I can go about my day. And then there'll just be like a minute of a voiceover listing the possible side effects of the product. Right. Like the, yeah, the pharmaceutical stuff they can advertise on TV there is crazy with the,

and cause you know, you're paying for the time that the ad is on the TV, which must drive you crazy that it's like half of it is just information that you probably don't really want out there all that much if you're the company. Yeah, it's great. I just think they must have ramped it up with the betting recently because it's becoming a problem or whatever, and it's like,

yeah, you're going to lose this. You're going to be gay. You're a fuckhead. I'm going to bash you. It is. I mean, it's cool that a lot of comedians are embedding ads. Like, whatever. Good for them.

Get some money. Because it does feel like there will be a point in time where it is like cigarette advertising where we'll be sitting around being like, can you believe they used to be allowed to advertise this on TV? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you look back on magazine ads for cigarettes and it's like, whoa, this is so cool and weird, this old advertising. It's like people will be doing that with the footage of Ben Russell

and Xavier at the horse racing. They've been like, whoa, how vibey were the old school gambling ads? So Anthony Ladson, it's a betting agency. Let's do the ad. Come to Anthony Ladson's. The best odds, better than all the other betting agencies. It's so cool to gamble. You can gamble on horses, on football.

You can gamble on when Tommy Daslan is going to watch the Sure Strength Redemption. Yep. You literally cannot lose. Every bet that you make with us, you win. That is a guaranteed win. At Ladson's. At Ladson's. And it's all 10 to 1.

So you're going to times your money by 10. Literally bet on anything, whatever you bet on. You give us money and you get 10 times the amount back. All right. End of ad. Disclaimer. If you bet with Ladson's, I'm going to come around and fuck you up the ass in a bad way. And we're going to kill your cat and bash your mom.

And what else? You think you need more of an incentive than just being fucked up the ass your cat being dead and your mum getting bashed Yes

This is what I'm getting from this is like this is you at Cody's Bucks with your hypothetical Would you would you take your

what's in your bank account and times it by 10 yeah but you get fucked in the ass your cat gets killed and your mum gets bashed yes

yeah Ladson's Ladson's yep responsibly yes or else you know what's going to happen

or else you know what's happening thanks Ladson's thanks thanks Lado. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Lockie Donovan. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. This is a very AFL player name. Oh, yeah. Lockie Donovan. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I think Lockie Donovan, you need a newfangled name for AFL player. Oh, yeah.

Well, I mean like AFL player in the 90s. Oh, okay. So this is a fan of Shawshank Redemption. This is a Shawshank Day one-er. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. This is him sitting next to me in the cinema, at the Ballarat Regent Cinema,

watching Shawshank Redemption. Yeah, crying. Yeah, yes. Is it a movie that men cry to? I cried. It's got a sad ending? Yeah. You cried? Yeah. Damn. Is it a movie that men cry to? I cried. It's got a sad ending. You cried? Yeah.

Damn. How many other movies have you cried in? Quite a few. I'm a bit of a movie crier. Okay. I saw this movie also with the same mate. I've seen... Fuck, I reckon I've seen two movies with the same mate and I cried in both of them.

Damn. And in both the movies, he walked out going oh yeah that wasn't bad and i'm just like yeah great yeah i think it was this this this mate i saw sure shaking redemption with him and i also saw eternal sunshine of the spotless oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that's rough stuff yeah one of them at the ballarat regent cinema and one of them at the yarraville sun Theatre. Great theatre. Yeah. My friend was there

seeing something a little while ago and the power went out like halfway through the movie and it was like a session that had started

at like 10pm or something. So it's like pretty much everyone from the cinema's gone. There's just one guy still there and they're all out

in the foyer and the guy's just in over his head he's like i don't know what to do because it's that thing where like you've seen half the film yeah what happens here can you refund everyone and he's like oh i guess i'll just give you all a voucher and you can come back and see the movie again and they're all like well we're i mean we're just all gonna wait for streaming i guess yeah fast forward through to the bit we've missed yeah yeah but yeah just this guy you know probably one of his first shifts it's like yeah you know the last movie of the night started there's six

people in there yeah do a bit of sweeping and then just lock the door when they leave and all of a sudden yeah yeah yeah it's probably a job where you go do i even need to be here there doesn't even need to be one person here one person's overstaffed yeah yeah yeah and then then shit goes down you're like fuck i wish i had someone to help me every now and then i go to the westgarth cinema oh yeah in northcote and that's a cinema where frequently you go in there and there's literally no one there like you come out of it's it's that it's like you come out of the session and it's like oh every single staff member has just gone home oh wow right yeah it's uh i think pretty easy to sneak in oh that's what you're into not that i've ever done it but i'm not a i'm not a big cinema goer but i should be but the cinema near

me i don't like the guy that owns it so I don't want to go there. It's a shame because it's a great cinema. Yeah. To a degree. I guess. No, they're good.

It's fine. I think they're a good I go there every now and then because they're kind of a good mix between they'll have independent stuff on but they're not like they're not too good to show

like John Wick or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what kills you about it. I'm right near the Nova and that's a great cinema, but every now and then there'll be a big banger that you want to go see, and they're too proud to have it on. Yeah.

It's like, oh, okay, I guess I'm going to the Docklands. Yeah, I'd rather push on to the next one instead of put money in the pocket of a cunt of a bloke. What is the next one? The Rivoli? Yes. Yeah, the Rivoli's a good cinema. That's a good cinema. Great cinema. I that i don't i've never talked to the guy

who owns that so uh i don't need to have anything against that i mean that's the tough thing is like i imagine most cinema writers are cunts imagine finding out barry hoyt's is a fucking bad bloke yeah i can't imagine there's too many yeah anyway yeah yeah too many um yeah people that have i mean who owns any big business that's like just a great guy i mean i guess that there is people but there would be examples but they would be few and far between yeah yeah if you own a conglomerate you're probably not the best person if you want to give back you're spending your time working for the soup kitchen you're not climbing the ladder yeah like investing Like, investing all your time into, like, becoming the fucking, you know. And even if you are, there's always, you're always going to have that example of, like,

you go, oh, Richard Branson, the Virgin, he's a good guy. And then it's like, yeah, well, he actually fucking, you know, pays below the rate for this middle management or whatever. Okay. You do some digging. Yeah. And then. You'll find something.

Yeah. Anyway. Well, thanks, Lockie Donovan. I hope you enjoyed the Shawshank Redemption. I hope you enjoy... Anchorman. Anchorman. We've talked about this recently.

What's the new one? It feels like a while since the... I mean, I think part of it too is like I just never see those interviews with AFL players anymore. No. Because I guess they're all on social media so if they want they can take to their own instagram page and be like boys i checked out bow is afraid last night and walking phoenix has done it again best movie i've seen in 10 years yeah yeah i don't know what is the what is in the in the dumb guy zeitgeist these days? What's the dumb easy movie? What was the last big dumb guy movie?

I mean, sure, it would have been Hangover for a bit, but even that's ages ago now. Yeah. Is it more TV maybe? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I keep just thinking of what is the new Jackass? I can't think.

Right in. If you're a dumb guy, what was the last comedy and drama movie that you enjoyed? Dumb guy drama is an interesting game. Dumb guy comedy is easy to pick that. It's just like stupid shit. But dumb guy drama is such a specific, like exactly what you said, smart movie for dumb people.

Yes. Seeming smarter than it is. Yes. That is a very tough genre to nail. Yeah. To have like blokey blokes love it and admit that they cried at the end. Yeah. That's, that's a tough nut to crack.

What is the. There truly may not have been one since Shawshank. Yeah. What is the, what is the 2020s version of Shawshank? What is the, what is the Shawshank? What is the... If you're dumb, what have you cried at recently? I'd love to see that, you know, like the Vox Pop thing in the paper. Yeah.

Where they just go up to people in the street. First question, are you dumb? Yeah. And second, what have you cried at recently? Yeah. All right. Well, thanks, Lucky Donovan. Appreciate your help.

All right. Let's just do one more. What's the plans? You're at my digs this week. Are you eating after this? Well, I'll eat, but I won't. I'll probably just have, like, a salad when I get home. Going out for dinner tonight.

Oh. What sort of food for dinner? Probably Indian. Oh. Yeah. Going to a little bar that does, like, they just have, like, the menus for the nearby areas. So there's like, it's in a little block where there's like Indian, Thai and Vietnamese, I think.

So it's great. You go with a group, pretty much everyone's catered for. Right. Few of us going. Do you want to know the occasion? Yes. My dog's first know the occasion? Yes. My dog's first birthday. Oh my God.

And the dog's allowed to come? He's coming. Yeah, right. It's just a bar that he likes being at. Right. So that's why we're having it there. Having a couple of friends who are the people that he goes most crazy for when they come around to the house.

Oh, nice to not get the invite. Yeah. He barked at you the other day. Yeah. You were on the invite list. I was on the list until then. You were on the list and you got scrubbed because of that. God damn it.

All right, well, I'm going to have to butter him up so I can get some butter chicken in a year from now. Exactly. All right, let's do one more. All right, thank you very much. Two. One, the final. Yep. The final and much. Two. One. Yes.

The final. Yep. The final and fifth subscriber for this week. Yep. It's a sponsored post, actually. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber, The Comedy Redemption. New movie coming out. Right.

Yep. Coming out very soon. Because I feel like within the last year, we've had the Shawshank Comedy. Really? Well, in that case, it's that again. It's again. Oh, okay. It's not a different one.

Yeah, yeah. It's just the same one. It's Shawshank Comedy 2. Okay, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've misread that. Cool. Well, I mean, I have no context for what this listener is.

Well, yeah. I mean, well, I'll give you a sneak preview. There's a beautiful scene in there where this man digs a hole through the wall to escape prison. Are you tearing up? Yeah. And hides the hole behind a giant poster of Rodney Rood. Oh, okay, great. It's pretty cool.

Yeah, I'm sure that's very funny what you've just said. It's funny without any context. That's a funny thing. Yeah, Rodney sure that's very funny what you've just said. It's funny without any context. That's a funny thing. Yeah, Rodney Root is funny. All right, well, thanks, guys. We'll see you in Brisbane this weekend, Saturday at the Outpost. May 20. May 20.

2023. If you're listening to this in the future, you may be too late. You might be too late. Thursday the 18th at Good Chat if you want to come see my show. And, yeah, we'll see you next time. See you, mates.