The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 661 - Live! Tom Ballard, Harley Breen & Brett Blake

Episode Date: June 7, 2023

It's part two of our raucous takeover of The Outpost in Brisbane with guests TOM BALLARD, HARLEY BREEN & BRETT BLAKE! We hit the ground running by taste testing some fresh Coke, Harley's got witnesses for his wedding gift to Karl, Tom and Tommy have been to Toowoomba, Karl has some potentially life-changing news and Brett tries to tell a story about a music festival. Plus all the positivity and warmth that you'd expect from a bunch of mates getting together :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode recorded live in Brisbane with guests Brett Blake, Harley Breen and Tom Ballard. It's a loose one guys, hold on to your hats. Yeah, we'll talk to you more at the end of this episode in Talking Dumb Dumb, but until then, please enjoy this new one with Brett Blake, Harley Breen and Tom Ballard. Balla. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us live from Brisbane. My name is Tommy D'Assolo. I'm with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler.

Get it again! Oh my God. Wow. Completely unprompted, rapturous response. What a great crowd. Unlike last week, they sucked. But these guys, these guys are amazing. You're a great crowd.

Never forget that. Best crowd we've ever had. Sounds like someone's been distributing pills during the fucking halftime break. Still got them. They're all still there, just so you know. Just so I'm not going to fucking fall asleep during this episode. No, I really... I really...

No. No. Well, mate, you got what you wanted. They're more vocal. Honestly, I texted my Andrew in the break. I'm like, man, you should be here. There's people giving out free pills. He's like, fuck, I should have fucking come to this one.

We could probably get him up here. We could be bought a flyer right now. We could get him in in time for the end of the gig. No, big thanks to everyone here in Brisbane that did come to the gig because I've been dealing with them. I'm the merch man in the little production office we have. There's no office. But sold a bunch of shirts to people from Brisbane this week

and I sent messages back going, hey, thanks for buying the shirts in the mail. See you at the live show. And all of them made it very clear that they were not coming today. I had to reverse. I had some people come to my solo show on Thursday night, and they were like, great show, Tommy, and guess what? We're not coming to the podcast.

I was like, wow, the first people to ever come to stand up and not the pod. Wow. Jeez. When you said the opposite, you just said the same thing I said. But anyway. When you said the opposite, you just said the same thing I said But anyway Hey, I thought Let's do a little segment that we haven't done

Here on the show for a while We did a thing for a little while Called Cancer Corner Oh, there's been some news It's back There was a thing that we do in Talking Dumb Dumb Where I would You would ask me questions That were always very thought-provoking and insightful.

I think the first one you ever asked was, did it hurt? And I basically would do an AMA about what it was like to have the experience of having childhood cancer. I got cancer-cornered during the week. I went to the doctor. I'm going to a new GP and I had to go in and you have to you know

you kind of have to give him everything you have to give him like the whole back story and so he's like asking me like all these different questions and stuff

and then he goes any illnesses when you were younger and I was like yeah well I had this thing called aplastic anemia it's very similar to leukemia I was in hospital

for about two years when I was 10 and then I had a bone marrow transplant and he kind of like types all this down and he goes right and um

why'd you do that? I guess I've never it's a good question I guess I've never really thought about it yeah yeah yeah something to do I guess a bit bored

it was a long school holiday all my friends had gone away. You just Googled, how do I get Make-A-Wish? Yeah. Hit up the children's hospital. That'll eat up a couple of years. They've got a McDonald's up there. Yeah, yeah.

A medical professional. Wow. Why did you do that? Wow. So, yeah, he's out cancer-cornered the master. That's a dumber question than did it hurt. Yeah. Fuck.

Someone's got the title back off me. Here's a bit of news. There's still a few weeks. I'm giving a tiny bit of notice. Dum Dum Con 23. I'm officially announcing it. It's happening. Calcella.

Can't hear what you're saying. The fallback's not working up here. Don't know what you're screaming at me. Calchella 2, you're building an ice skating rink on the beach at Koh Samui. Not sure what you're saying there, but Dum Dum Con 23 is happening June 10 in Koh Samui. Double figures nearly confirmed already. All right. Nearly confirmed already.

So if anyone's looking at having an international holiday in nearly two weeks I recommend Dum Dum Con 2 is this the same thing as last time where you knew a bunch of listeners were going already and you piggybacked on their holiday that's not what happened

I was going already I'm usually going already so it's just when they're going, I go, okay, well I can... Go at the same time as them. No, that's not what I do. They do that with me. No, so Koh Samui, June 10, June

11. I just probably need two more people to make a double figures, guys, so if anyone's... If anyone's... Yeah, a couple people going? Okay. The guy that looks like some anyone's... You'll go? Yeah, a couple of people going? Okay. The guy that looks like some sort of

Aldi Doctor Who? Yep, he's in. Great. The guy who was offering bumps to the guests on our last episode? Yes, okay. Yep, great.

That should go well in the... He'll be an asset over there. Yeah, that should go well. He's the guy that you need. He's definitely going to the electric chair in Thailand. Yep, yep.

Well, they have that over there. Cool. That's cool. Sign me up. Maybe I am interested. Yeah. So what have you got planned? Is it going to be the same?

Are you going to do a little performance over there like last time? Let's not give away all the plans I haven't made yet. Okay. Cool. Well, so, hey, here's big news in my life. I'm looking around the room and I can see that some of you will definitely know this. The new Legend of Zelda video game, Tears of the Kingdom, has been out for a week now. Came out last Friday and on the day it came out, I happened to be going into JB Hi-Fi to buy a new vacuum.

I'd bought it click and collect. I'm aware of this because you had a gig last night and it was a friend of the show, Nick Carr's gig, and he said he was trying to get you on and you wouldn't respond and then your eventual response was, I don't know about doing the gig, I was planning on being in Brisbane, locking myself in a hotel room and playing a video game all day. Yeah, and then I stayed in Nick Carr's filthy house and I wish I had have stayed in a hotel and played Zelda all day. But so

yeah, the day that Zelda came out, I went to JB Hi-Fi to buy a new vacuum. I'd bought it click and collect. I walk in the front of JB Hi-Fi. First guy I see, I'm like, hey man, I'm just here to pick up a click and collect order. And the guy looks me up and down, gives me the elevator and goes Zelda?

No mate, I'm buying a Dyson to clean my man cave that I'm playing Zelda in, all right? Well, thanks for being here instead of playing Zelda. I've made the wrong choice, honestly. If I knew it was an option to be doing that instead. The switch is just out there. Anyway. Yeah, I don't think these guys heeded the warning at the start.

Maybe it's on us. Nah, they're alright. Nah, they're alright. You guys are alright. You guys are alright. It's all comedy. Alright, should we do that? Should we talk about the other thing or just get the guests up?

God, it's so hard to know. What do you guys reckon we should do? Other thing! Other thing! No offence to our guests who are waiting to come on. Other thing. Other thing. No, well, we talked a couple of weeks ago about, like, you know,

getting things. I got a Coke that was expired on the day. Yeah. And it was no good. And then I got hit up by someone who works at the Coke factory here. And he's like, I can get you some fresh stuff like straight out of the tap on the day and like cool and so the guy literally hit me up he's like come down and met me just before dropped off some literally fresh coke fresh coke from today

i was like cool i'll see you up there he's like i'm not coming and also like we're in this but also this guy like, I'm not coming. And also, we're in this venue... But also, this guy that goes, I'm not coming, but he looks at the venue and goes, I'm coming here later tonight to see a band. Well, that's the thing. We're in this venue that's pretty big and there's a massive, massive concert hall underneath the room

that we're in. Does everyone know that there's a massive concert hall out there that fits 3,000 people? That's our green room. So it's like, it's fucking like the MCG out there. Sorry, Gabba. And there's a couple of beers out there. It's like, that's your green room.

It's like, how is our green room 17 times bigger than our room? Nice, we can really stretch out. And so we had to go down, like the way we went to meet him was like for the loading dock where like big trucks come in full of like band's equipment and lighting rigs and stuff and then the roller door goes up

and it's just this cunt standing there with a plastic bag with some cans of coke in it. With four cokes. Like they, the venue thought there was a delivery being made and it's like one bloke with a plastic bag and not even a six pack. Could have just met him out the front in the street.

I don't know why we made him come to the loading bay. All right, I'll get him. Well, yeah, do you want to get it out? All right. And the Coke. Yeah, yeah, nice. Funny stuff. Yeah, so I think we've got...

I think he's given it... He's sort of done it taste test style where he's given us like some that are like fresh out like today and then some that are a little further along. And he wants us to see if we can taste the difference. So yeah, here we go. We've got fresh Cokes in these little blue styrofoamy things. Fuck yeah.

Guys, I hope that's anticipation I hear because who here has drunk a fresh Coke? Okay, guys? Anyone amongst us? No, didn't think so. Before this afternoon started we were like, yeah, a bit nervous about the first show, we don't really have much for that, but the

second show, we've got those cokes. That one's gonna go off. We are set. It's funny because the guy that did it, I don't know what position he holds in coke, but he's printed, there's supposed to be like date stamps on the bottom, but instead he's printed It's funny because the guy that did it, I don't know what position he holds in Coke, but he's printed, there's supposed to be like date stamps on the bottom, but instead he's printed Milan'd.

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh my God. He can operate the little best before stamp thing. Got him. Yep. Westgate. Uh-huh.

And dumb cunt. All right. Can I get someone fired? I've literally got a can of Coke that says cunt on it. Let's not drink that one. We can... What's that? That's definitely mine.

They're all mine. All right, all right. Alright, alright. Do you want one? Should we... People lobbying for the other thing are like, well, we didn't realise it was this. Hey guys, we got some soft drinks. And we're going to drink them.

You can't have any. They're for us. Alright, this is the... Should we have the Westgate one? Well, yeah. Are we looking at... Because he's given us the dates of when they were all packaged. they're for us alright this is the should we have the Westgate one well yeah are we but are we looking at because he's given us

the dates of like when they were all packaged yeah why did you have to separate them out because he I think he's done it's like can you tell

the difference between one that's like completely fresh so alright maybe I'll check which is the newest

alright so okay production date so we've got this is Westgate the okay so the Westgate was bottled on the 17th

of of May when's that so that's the freshest oh this is the freshest great yeah okay

yeah it smells fresh actually that that smells fresh hang on oh man you gotta taste this Yeah, it smells fresh, actually. That smells fresh. Hang on. Oh, man, you've got to taste this. This is insane. Someone in the crowd has a question.

Do you have a question? Can I try it? You can absolutely try it. All right, yeah, let's have a go. That's honestly the best Coke I've ever tasted. Okay, all right. All right, here we go. Oh, you've got girl jams. Bit flat, honestly.

What? Is that a great Coke or not? That is a good Coke. That's a fucking great Coke. That is a really good Coke. Honestly. I think we need to... This guy's just decided...

Pass this over to the pirate of Penn's Ants. Oh, you want some? Yeah, well, well, well. There we go. Here you go, Jack Sparrow. That's good, isn't it? Yeah. Thanks, Johnny Depp.

Cheers. All right. Is it good? That guy? Is this the best coke you've ever had? It's good I feel like I say this nearly every episode But this is rock bottom This is the freshest Coke

anyone's ever tasted. You guys got to taste it. These guys got to watch. Why isn't everyone as excited as me? Why aren't you laughing? Oh my god. Finally. Alright.

Alright, well, now we don't have the option Of getting guests up Because they've left So that's So that's good Alright Let's get our guests up here Please welcome back

Into the Little Dumb Dumb Club Brett Blake Tom Ballard And Harley Breen Glad we missed all the Coke stuff anyway. Fucking hell. Jesus fucking Christ. Also, I've never been more offended.

On the last episode, you're up here talking about opioids. It's like you're up here talking about basketball while you've got Michael Jordan in the back. You know what I mean? It's like, I've got two live fans from the stuff. Come on, get me up there. I know all about it. Welcome to the B team, fuckheads.

Jesus, fuck. It's good to hang out with our mates. Should we get three comedians up or sip on coke? God, I fucking hate you. Hey, it's them that voted for it, not us. Yes, fuck all you cunts for cheering for the other stuff. Oh, dear God, anything but the guests. What are you supposed to say? Yeah, it's clearly their fault. It has God, anything but the guests. We have things to say.

Yeah, it's clearly their fault. It has nothing to do with these two fucking idiots. The guy who looks like Thirsty Merc with a big V-neck gets more air time than me. Take me back to the

go fuck off time. That's the sound of three people who didn't taste that coke. Sorry, I refuse to put bad things in my body Where are those opioids? Oh, I tasted Coke I was up the back with Lawrence Mooney Still in the back of my throat I meant Mooney

But anyway Backstage before the show In this cool rock and roll venue Carl's like, oh, should we do that Coke thing? And I was like, hello No, no, just having some fizzy drinks Fresh fizzy drinks, thanks rock and roll venue Carl's like oh should we do that coke thing and I was like hello no no just having some fizzy drinks

fresh fizzy drinks thanks man wait till Adelaide we're gonna get out fresh Fanta it's gonna be fucking cool fucking hell

why am I here what is this chair I don't understand it's a shit chair shit chair I'm pissed off it looks like a chair commissioned by John Howard

that's what it does They're like tiny little thrones or something They're fucking weird Blakey what do you think of the lighting set up of this Don't fucking get me started

I've already pep talked this guy He's like man I'm limited with the thing I'm like well three of the acts you can't see their face There's three whopping

burning suns behind us Why are the audience more lit up than us? Yeah. Great point. We can see you, but you can't see us. You guys look like you're doing it. Because Moony was jacking off all the time up here.

Can you turn down the audience light so we can't see them not laugh? Can you do that? There we go. There we go. Oh, my God. Is that literally as bright as the stage lights go? Is this? What do you have up here regularly?

Frost v. Nixon? What the fuck? Is do you have up here regularly? Frost v Nixon? What the fuck? Is this the first gig that's ever been run here? Also, why is the curtain over there lit more than us? Is there something meant to be happening over there? Can we do the podcast over there? Should we do the podcast over there? Can't.

People try to see a man drink a Coke up here, okay? Let's get some lighting in the room. To be fair, what a good podcast needs is lighting. I've got nothing else. I'm a lighting tech. I've seen what he's working with. I'm so sorry. You are limited to the tools you're on, sir.

I apologise. I don't mean to turn on you. Now that those lights are turned off, it does seem very limited, this lighting. Yeah. We have three car lights. Oh, there we go. There we go.

Get your car lights out. We have three car lights and none of them are pointed at us. This is going to be a new insult. He's got a real face for the outpost

if you know what I'm saying. I feel like I'm very lit. Yeah, but what about the lighting? Not on the fucking mid-strength you gave us in the rider you tight cunt. That's why I've been buying my own beers, you pieces of shit.

He's got 17 kids. He can't afford it, mate. What are you doing to him? Fucking hell, mate. You're going to put me to the wall with your fucking mid-strength beers. You've spilled the coke. No. He gives a shit.

He gives a shit. Quick. Someone get us a straw. We're going to have to drink it off the ground. We need a straw for coke. Not that coke. That was the best coke that's ever lived, you fucking idiot. Man, can you get that coke off my fucking beer?

You fucking idiot. What was it? Was it the good one? Man, that was good. Westgate down. Westgate down Westgate down When is this finished? When's it starting? Oh, thank you, mate

Oh, thanks, mate Sorry, sorry You're going to drink from that towel, aren't you? Oh, he's getting into the show as well The fucking bar staff are getting big laughs than you two dickheads The dishies pulling a brown eye to the crowd and doing a bit of a mug shot

Also that's about the worst spill I've ever seen cleaned up in my life He phoned it in like his moustache You know what I mean He's not a real leaf blower Just push it over to the side so it's someone else's problem. Is there anything you guys like about this venue?

Fucking hell. Or us. Ah, no. No, I do like the world's biggest green room, that's it. I feel like it's structurally sound, that's good. You feel like we're not going to collapse. That's good too.

Is there a plan for this? It's good because I've got nothing. This sort of was it. Hey, listen, to be fair, I do have something for the very first time of being on this wonderful podcast. Wow. And while we shit talk,

I do love these boys and I don't know if you listened to the last live episode that I was on. Obviously, I did because I listened to every episode. Yeah. Carl, my great mate, one of my best friends ever. Thank you.

We know each other's numbers off by heart. He threw some shade on me on the last time we were on. Carl turning on a comedian who's not there? I've never seen that. No, I was there. And he insinuated that I was on the list for not bringing a present to his wedding,

which let's not unpack how fucking juvenile it is that he has a list. Hands up if you didn't attend the wedding, but you still gave a gift, because I care. You are right. You are right. Prep late. Well, do you know why I gave that to you?

Because I finished doing a production and they gave me a bottle of Moe, and I was like, I'm not going to fucking drink that. And then I saw you in the street and I went, congratulations. I just re-gifted it. Well, also,

hands up, who heard a past episode where I actually... Don't say hands up on a podcast. Yeah, no, fair enough. Everyone's hands up. You're right to correct me on how to do fucking audio mediums.

Anyway, we just spent the last fucking ten minutes watching you drink coke and talk about the fucking lights. Anyway. He's really got you there, mate. I haven't said anything afterwards. Check out the guy in the light over here. Jesus Christ. The truth of the matter is, I went to his wedding, which was a fine affair.

Hey! Hey! Good wedding. Yeah, do you remember your wife being there? Shut up. Because you didn't remember her. You certainly didn't remember her in the speech. But anyway, so...

Shout out to Dave O'Neill. Welcome to Carl Chandler's wedding of roasting his mates. But I didn't take the envelope that I had there out of my pocket, but I feel like there's still some contention whether you think that I gave you a gift or not. So tonight, in front of a live audience, I have brought a gift for Carl Chandler. The brown envelope is first.

Thank you, Carl. Oh, brown. All right, all right. I've really thought about this gift because I care for you as a friend. I know a lot about you. Okay. The front of the card says, Huge congratulations.

The same penis forever. Happy wedding day. Was that meant for Tom? Then it says, open the other envelope, you cunt. Love from Harley, Hannah and all our fucking kids. Okay, great. It's like an escape room. Yeah.

Now open the other envelope. Alright. Carl and that woman you married. It says Carl and that woman what you married. No, actually it says Carl and that woman what you married. No, actually it says, Carl and that women what you married. Sorry, did I write that? I'm Amgrave. I think you had an eye on the Southeast Asia, I think.

Harley's from Queensland. Anyway, now I'll open the... I know that you like Southeast Asia, and so that's why I wrote it like that. There we go. And... That is empty. Right, so that is...

I can even see it, you fucking idiot. You fucking idiot. You fucking idiot. God damn. The lighting was bad. Oh, the lighting. Yeah, yeah. The lighting was bad.

From before. Open that up and read that out what I've bought you, you ungrateful fuck. God damn. The lighting was bad. Oh, the lighting. Yeah. The lighting was bad. From before. Open that up and read that out what I've bought you, you ungrateful fuck. You cunt. What have you got, mate? From Garuda Airlines. The airline of Indonesia. I'm familiar with this.

One direct flight to Bali. Yeah! This is real! Oh, my God. Dum Dum Con 23 is moving to Bali. A one-way flight. Don't come back. It is literally one way to Bali.

You live there now. That's you. Not only is it one way, but it's for you and your wife because I think you'll both appreciate it equally because she can't come with you. Isn't that lovely? Do you understand what I'm saying? No, sort of. Yeah because she can't come with you. Isn't that lovely? Do you understand what I'm saying there? No, sort of. Yeah, she can't come.

Oh, she can't come. Yeah, exactly. It's just for you. So she gets the greatest holiday of all. Yes, correct. And he can't find his way back. Not two weeks forever with that car. There's no return flight.

Don't worry, you'll see me four times a year. Poppy's one, Poppy's two, I know I'm old. What's always great with a present is the price tag. That's cost you $715.96. Thank you. That's why it was one way. Also, you're getting ripped off. That's pretty expensive.

That is very expensive. But grew to Indonesia, a great airline, and they're notorious for trying to land on the highway near my house. And I get excited because I'm like, boy, Stuart again. I'm fucking nearly home. This is sick. Get me on the highway. It's great.

Oh, my God. That'll be fun for you, Carl. Should it? Will it? If you need any tips as to find other penises over there, I can help you out either. If you want to go to Barley Joe's. What's in Bali? What's in Bali? What's in Bali?

Yeah, have you been there? Not Thailand. Yes. Not interested. There's a gay bar called Barley Joe's there. Barley Joe's. Yes, right. What's it like?

It's gay. What happens there? I guess Carl will find out. When two men love each other very much and one of those men is from a poor country the other man can punch above his waist I love travel no, Barley Joe's amazing because they have drag queens

but they're drag queens who dedicate themselves to one diva so like one drag queen will do Beyonce for the rest of his life he's condemned to just do Beyonce forever. And they do that very well. So that's fun. Okay, all right. You could do that over there.

Oh, yeah? Who could I be? Great question. Harley will feel this. No, I'm out. That's the content I brought. I've done that. I've paid my way to be here and drink your free drinks so thanks for having me yeah you

got yourself another mid-strength for that mate well thanks mate thanks guys $715 but you buys yourself about three drinks I reckon here that's is this I have to get off stage and figure out what the fuck is going on because I've never for a lot more than what I just brought on I've really never imagined I'm going to Bali, and if this means I'm going to Bali, I don't know who I am anymore. Yeah. You'll be all right, mate.

What? What the fuck? Cruella de Vil. Oh, the drag character, Cruella de Vil. Oh, it took you 15 minutes to do a drowning puppy reference? Oh, yeah, it's not as easy as you think, is it, you fuckheads? It's so great to be amongst the sharp minds of my home state. There's just someone yelling it out in the car park

three hours after the show. Oh, yeah, got him. Someone just yells out, the other thing. Oh, fuck, did I miss it? Drink another Coke. No, so you are moving back here. I am moving back here, yeah. It's great.

Expect Harley every year on our podcast here from now on, by the way. Yes. It's the only work I'm going to get. I'm about to have my four millionth child, and I thought, where will I fit in? Oh, the Bible Belt of Australia. So I'm moving back to become full-time Amish and if anyone has...

If by chance in a live Dum Dum show, if there's any property investors in the room and that you have a property that you'd like me to slowly destroy with my children. It turns out that for some fucking reason, you're the most expensive rental region in the country. Yeah, no jokes

here. Just real sadness for me and my family. Good thing you're being frugal with your money and not wasting it on any stupid presents. Isn't it great? Isn't it great? As you're about to be... That's a fucking week's rent you dumb cunt.

Kids we're eating beans again so Uncle Carl can go get sucked off by a lady boy in a different classroom. I brought 30 seconds of content but we're living

on the streets. It is a week's rent but that joke will live on forever. Yes. The kids will understand when they listen to the episode. That's right, which you won't be doing. I mean, I do have two cars,

but I do have a lot of ex-wives that keep taking them. You do listen to this. None of them listen to this podcast. No one listens to it. Anyway, I... I listen, guys. I'm one of you. Clearly you listen. You're here. I am coming home,

which is great. In fact, the only reason I'm here today is because I agreed to do a charity gig yesterday just so I could do this show. So the charity didn't pay me any money. You're paying me two weddings worth of cash for today's gig.

And I'm not a smart businessman. What I'm saying is I need some support. Anyone out there who has a shed in the backyard and would like a family of six to move in, I'm available to take up that position. Well, this is the thing, because, Hal, you are a great comedian, but I do think that you make some fucking horrific decisions. Oh, really?

Like the beer can he's got tattooed on his arm? That means that I can do this forever. Also very harshly judged by a man who has a snake holding an Uzi. But anyway. The Nick Capper Drew. The Nick Capper Drew. Yeah. We'll get back to Nick Capper with you.

No, but you are a great comedian, but you do make some weird decisions. The amount of times you've told me that you've knocked these amazing jobs back and opportunities back and then you turn up to this fucking thing instead. Because I'm having a good time, Carl. Yeah.

You've got the freshest Coke in all of Australia. Why would I miss out on this opportunity? I got texted this week something about you where, now last year you did a show at the Melbourne Comedy Festival and great show, great comic, all that sort of stuff. You were coming and doing gigs with me

and you were sort of complaining early on going, oh there should be more people coming early on and I was like... Doesn't sound like me, I wouldn't complain. No. And I'm always sold out. Yes. So I don't know what you're talking about. Only a comedian that can sell out could buy his friend a direct flight to Bali.

That's right. That's right. That ticket was also handwritten, so I'm not sure of the validity of that. So anyway, you were, and I was like, man, you should fly her off the gig because you were coming and doing gigs and smashing and fucking destroying and then you were like, I don't know, and you should fly her off the gig because you were coming and doing gigs and smashing and fucking destroying

and then you were like, I don't know, and just like leaving. And so no one knew about it. And I said, man, you've got to fucking leave flyers and flyer people after the gigs and whatever. And you left like two flyers once and then just walked away. Anyway, so that's why I recognised that flyer.

I got a text this week and said, is this Harley's sticker? And the picture that this guy had taken was in Yarraville Office Works and it was a sticker of your QR code on the inside of the men's toilets. In the bowl. Is that your promo? are you expecting someone to put their phone into the toilet

and buy a ticket to your show? this is genuinely you thought this was shit well this is genuinely new information to me that he's just said and also it was upside down

I already know who did it right so but I've just heard that for the first time but we live in Yarraville and my wife printed those stickers which means and she printed them at the office works in Yarraville which means she went into the men's toilets and stuck them on upside down in the toilet bowl. If that's not what love is, I don't know. Why wouldn't you put another baby in that one? Come on! That's really funny. Fucking good on her.

I'm going to root her later on. I'm going to root that women what I fucking talk with. Are you married? You're not married, are you? No, that one I'm married to. The other one was a cunt. She never put any of me stickers in the bowl. What a bitch.

Well, what about this? In terms of my wife, she... Do you have my wife? My wife? Say it properly. No. Let's all do impressions of things we like. Yeah, baby.

Yuck. I love you, homie. Come on, guys. Get around it. Say hi for the new mum for me. I love you, homie. Come on, guys. Get around it. Say hi for the new mum for me. Is that how he says it? That's exactly how he says it, yeah.

That was so clearly Rove. That was more John than Rove, I think. So, my wife, don't say her name, she is currently working like for years she worked in the airline industry and that's why

I was getting standby that's why I was able to travel and all that sort of stuff is that why and now she's not working in that

industry anymore and it's a great of great concern to me because I don't get discounted flights anymore but it's great for your friends because we don't have to

fucking wait around for you like an idiot yes that's fair that's actually fair so I was complaining flights anymore but it's great for your friends because we don't have to fucking wait around for you like an idiot yes that's fair that's actually fair so I was complaining about this one night

around a bunch of dum-dum listeners and one of them and one of them one of them said she's trying to she's trying to get back into airlines

into the travel industry and one of them said I actually know someone that works at a at a very popular booking website and then I'll put her in contact

with him and that's happened now and she's applied for the job and that job is in Bangkok. We could be moving to Bangkok. And I think you'll find from Bali, that's a really quick commute.

We're going to have to get married again to get the fucking ticket from you. She's applied for a job in Bangkok and we're waiting to hear if she gets it. And I'm like, I don't give a fuck about this podcast anymore. I'm free! Run't give a fuck about this podcast anymore. Yeah. I'm free!

Run Tommy, run! Well stay still Tommy, stay still. So we're waiting to hear and literally this is the thing that's happened. She's applied for it and she hasn't heard back after a week

because she did a psychiatric test with them. Now, sorry, do you have to do a psychiatric test? She went in there and talked about her partner. That's why they're concerned. There we go. I gave you that one. So that's the thing. I could hear

and I'm like, hey, it's your career, honey. I'm happy to support you. If you get the job, I'm happy to do whatever you want to do. She's got to do a psychiatric test to work for a booking website. I don't know. She needs to move somewhere to work for a booking website?

I don't think she understands the internet. If you do move to Bangkok, I can't wait to get bullied remotely while I'm at Spleen. I'm setting up a webcam. I've already thought about it. I've already thought about it. Just a little scream. It's spleen. I'm setting up a webcam. I've already thought about it. I've already thought about it. Just a little screen.

You're on. It's a medium, whatever. Good on you, mate. That was great. I tried. Yeah, that always hit. No, it's fine. Yeah, it's comedy.

Has she done the test yet? Or is it still? Yeah, she's done the test. We're waiting to hear back. Okay. She sent over a CV. And I'm really crossing every fucking finger. She sent over a CV and I'm really crossing every fucking finger.

You're the most absurd human I've ever been friends with. I don't understand your obsession with one place. Like Vietnam, Laos, they're kind of all the same dudes. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Sorry, sorry. I can say that. Quarter Asian, you fuckhead. Oh, is anyone else a quarter Asian?

Have a look at his fucking haircut. Of course he thinks they're all the same. You're welcome in my house. That's coming from a Queenslander as well. Exactly. You come up here to God's country any time you want, mate. Would you feel like you would move there happily?

You'd leave all this behind? Yeah, well, I can do this. I can do it remotely. I can come back, like, you know. You're not gonna. Well, we are, otherwise you won't fucking pay rent, cunt. Also, I can't wait for your wife that, for some fucking stupid

reason we can't name, except that you did a festival show with her a fucking decade ago but whatever, to live on her own in Bangkok while you're in Koh Samui. It's going to be wonderful. Does she want to move to Bangkok? She's

being offered a job and her other job's running out. She's very tempted. And because of that I don't have to push I'm like whatever you want to do right

you don't have to but you are no I'm not I will later if she says no but like at this point I don't have to

when's blanket psychic evaluation I bet it's not even a job it's just DSS getting involved in the family dad walks around the house naked all the time

Oh yeah this is she's leaving him and he's going to move to Bangkok Ah she got a job That would be good I mean no not that I just meant the Bangkok bit

I misheard sorry Something not wrong I misheard I misheard. Sorry. Something not wrong with you. I misheard. I misheard. That'd be exciting, but it would be a temporary job. So I'm like, it would be cool to live overseas, I think. I've never lived overseas.

Have you? You've basically lived overseas, mate. Well, yeah, little bits at a time. If you add them all up, yes, I've lived there for a year. Maybe unbelievable, but I lived in Bali for three months. Do you miss your jet ski? Did I miss my jet ski? No, I had more over there.

It's cheaper. No, I worked on a dive boat for three months. There you go. Not funny, but there you go. All right. Well, thanks for butting in. Yeah. When does she find out?

When does she find out? I don't know. It's like we're literally waiting. Fuck yeah. Yeah. So, TBC. I feel like everyone, I don't know, everyone's like... They might be watching the last ever episode of Little Dumb Dumb.

Yeah. They're almost looking at you waiting for a fucking point to that story. No. There's no point. I'm saying it's in the process and it might be happening.

I'm excited. I'm excited for my wife to follow her passion. I never thought the can of Coke would have been the highlight. But here we are. Can I have a can of coke?

Is there another one there? Yeah, absolutely. There's one somewhere. You can have the dumb cunt one if you want. Oh, fuck yeah. Thank you. Wow. Thanks, Blakey. What an award winning podcast we're all a part of. Blakey's very clearly taken the opium or whatever

that was. Oh, did you say it says clang on here as well? Oh, yeah. It's got him with the words clang on the top and the bottom. It's very well done. Oh, yeah, nice one. Oh, I'm sorry. Some positive feedback for once.

Why does it have this on it like it's a fucking pawpaw? That is... What is happening here? That is a good detail. Like we couldn't possibly ding the can. Well, they're fresh. How's it taste? Wow!

I told you. It really is fresh. I tried to tell you. This has come straight from like the... Is it actually noticeable or are you just fucking around? I don't know. I'll give us a stand. It's good.

It's good. It's come from like the Willy Wonka waterfall deal in there. See, guys, before you... It actually is fucking good, yeah. Yeah. Before you had to vote for the Coke or the guests, and now you're getting both of it at the same time. Yeah.

Guys, honestly, after the gig, line up for a sip. That's not bad. We can all get herpes together. We should have sold like meet and greet tickets, but it was like an extra $100 to have a sip of the Coke. Oh, yeah. Can I have it back, please? That was a...

I watched that whole thing. I'll get off the world's most awkward chair. Brett Blake said, can I have a taste? And then he just didn't give it back. He just put it down on the floor. He was like, that's a good Coke. I'll fucking keep that one. Would you like some Coke?

No, Brett's drunk. I don't want syphilis. I've had it and to do with it. That's a good coke. I'll fucking keep that one. Would you like some more? No, Brett's drunk. I don't want syphilis. I've had it and it's not fun. Tom, you and I were in Toowoomba last night. Clang. You were doing your... Toowoomba. How did you get that gig?

Toowoomba, the hole on the hill. I thought it was quite nice. I'm a fucking local. It's not quite nice. You're not from this state. I'll fucking judge this state the way I want to fucking judge this state. Thank you very much.

I was born here. It's the home of Damien Power, Toowoomba as well. His dad's shop's still there. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, whatever. Anyone from Toowoomba?

How the fuck are you understanding English? That is amazing. Fuck you, he reckons. The guy's yelling at Queensland. He just invited me over for dinner. Well done. Thank you. So you went to Toowoomba. That's where my ex-girlfriend lives.

Did you see her? Yeah, I fucked her. Yay! And what was his name? She said it was the second tiniest penis she's ever seen. What a fucking great diss. It's cool that she's kept track as well. I've never heard a better burn whilst saying

I have a tiny penis oh I'm gonna miss this psych but yeah you and I you were doing your solo show in Toowoomba Tom I did a little spot beforehand

we drove up with Nick Carr Nick Carr organised the gig. I find this pod so much funnier than you guys do, by the way. Carr told me that when he talked to you about doing a solo show in Toowoomba, he then talked to the guy who runs the venue to say, could we do Tom's solo show on this date? And the guy from the venue said, oh, awesome, Tom Ballard.

I really want to fuck him. Is that true? How did you get that? Yeah. What? All right, let's not be too amazed. That is crazy. And then the gig went great, and then that guy from the venue

said it was the second tiniest penis he's ever seen. Oh, we're back, baby. From before. I get it. So you can't do this over Zoom for magic How was it? Was it good?

The gig The sex? Yeah The gig was really fun and then Nick told me that so I was like oh yeah

where do you hear that you want to have a look right? Yeah You want to see what you're dealing with and I saw it but it was

yeah and um He's not from the circus Now I know I know you have what you're dealing with? I saw it, but it was... He's not from the circus. I know you're in a committed relationship. Yes. But if you weren't, would you have fucked that inbred Queenslander? You are going out with an acrobat. How far off an acrobat was this guy?

He was an elephant. Hey, still part of a circus. You're still in the ecosystem. That's nice. You're still in a tent. That's almost like my girlfriend, 18 clowns crammed into a car. What?

I don't know. Who knows what we're doing? But then he didn't come to the gig, so I was like, presumably he likes the comedy, but apparently not. But then he didn't rock up to the gig and Nick Carr said that people at the staff said

that he'd been on a five-day coke binge, I believe. Toowoomba. What a wonderful town. Hang on, hang on. Was the manager Lawrence Mooney? Yes. How fresh was it?

I love you, Lawrence. You're the king. Hello, Lawrence. Mooney's still. How fresh was it? I love you, Lawrence. You're the king. Hello, Lawrence. Mooney's still here, by the way. Mooney's not going anywhere. I just saw the lady get another bottle of vodka. He's in a fucking K-hole. He can't move.

No, no. No, Moon's actually wishing he was up on stage for this one rather than the last one when you cunts were asleep. No, I love you. I love you. Ah, fuck off. But yeah, we drove up to Toowoomba in Nick Carr's electric car.

And when he picked me up and I got in, I was in the passenger seat and he looks at me from the driver's seat and he goes, take a look, Tommy. This is what a midlife crisis looks like. It ruled.

Dude, he picked, because we had to print something for you today, which we'll eventually get to, but we're in the car and he's like, Blakey, it's all electric, it's all powered by the internet. And then he goes, car, cut, like, to the car, he goes, car open. Car open. I was like, use the fucking key card! I nearly came out. Anyway. Sorry, to

deviate here, have you talked about your wife's new car that you got stuck in for an hour and a half? Oh! Sorry. He locked his kid in there as well. Yes, he rang me. He rang me. I nearly had to drive and pick him up.

With him. This fuckhead, right? His wife. I'm going to live in Bangkok. This guy who's waiting for his wife to give him any level of freedom in the world to get this job in Bangkok is the same woman who bought this car. Then he went driving with his child that we're not allowed to fucking name Blanket

in a car and they got stuck in it for an hour and a half It was in a country town as well He couldn't open it Two days later, he picked me up to take me to a gig and we drove for, I don't know, about an hour out of Melbourne and then just

before we got to the venue this guy honks beside us and just goes hey your lights aren't on he'd been driving the same car that he was stuck in without the lights on because he didn't know where to find them and had also been locked in that car with his toddler for an hour and a half. I got stuck in Kyneton and I didn't know how to turn the car back on and my child cried herself to sleep. How do you get stuck in the car? She's getting so good at that. I don't know what...

So a normal night's rest for her, wasn't it? Tuesday again? Wow they come around so quick I don't know what happened But the car wouldn't talk to me And And I don't know what happened

I couldn't figure out This How this works No Knight Rider Knight Rider Knight Rider I just kept yelling

Car open Car open Nothing happened I I tried to make it start It's one of those new Cars where you just Press the button to make it start, and it's one of those new cars where you just press the button, and the button didn't work. It's one of those new cars.

Hey, I know what it is. You didn't put your foot on the brake. You put your foot on the brake, and then you've got to hit start. No. Hey, Kari, now this is what a midlife crisis looks like. To be fair to Carl, it was a very confusing car. Yeah, it was. But how did you...

Obviously, because you had to get to Kynan, you'd have to start the car to get there, so just do the same thing you did at the start. No, but it was something where I opened the door wrong and it thought I was an intruder, so it locked itself up. Oh, my God. So I was stuck in the car with my child and my child just kept saying,

please, Daddy, ring Mummy. That is the roughest version of a DNA test. They're like, I don't think this guy is this kid's father. It was really shitting me, because she can talk enough now to give me vehicular advice. So I'm in the driver's seat, and she kept recommending, have you tried pulling that thing up and down?'m like yes of course i fucking tried the gear shift

i remember you called me during this you go hey hey blaggy you'll love this and i was like no i won't i'm gonna come down to cotton and bash you or up whatever yeah so what did you end up doing? Yeah. So then I rang, what happened? I rang the helpline of the car. Oh my. 1-800-CAR. Yeah. He rang Nick Carr.

Yeah. I visited car.com. And so they gave me, what happened? If you were Carl Chandler, press one. Look, spoiler alert, Carl got out of the, press 1. Look, spoiler alert, Carl got out of the car.

No, no, I want to hear the end of it. Please help, Brum's trying to kill me. I'm trapped. I rang a place and then it was obviously an outsourced call centre to Thailand, so you knew the language. It was my other wife

on the other line uh no so it was another place so then i was like i'm in kait and they're like are you in high street and i'm like no and they go cool we're sending it to high street like what and they sent like help out to a completely different street and so we're stuck in the car for an hour and then they started ringing up and abusing me for not being in high street i'm like i never said i was in high street and so they're like it's gonna be another hour so then just kick the fucking windows out no i was i wanted to get home the problem wasn't that i was stuck in the car or stuck out of the car the car wouldn't move so i was trying to drive home with my child and so then my wife rang the car dealership that she bought it from

and they said, you need to have the keys in your hand. Carl is such a spectacular idiot that he's not one of those bogans that locks his kids in the car. He locks himself in the car with the kids. So then I was on the phone to my wife and she said, the dealership said, hit the button again, but hold the keys in your hand and it will see the sensor. I don't know what you've done with the keys.

I'm like, I think they're in the back with the kid. Don't do that. So I held the key in my hand, it picked up the sensor, and I said, that sounds stupid, and I hit the button and it worked. And then... Can you imagine this phone call as well? And she's at the office at work, like, sorry guys, my husband's just locked himself in the car again.

Anyway, back to the psych evaluation. I guess sometimes I feel a bit hopeless. I get now why you said you want to end it all. Best of luck in Bangkok. I spent a good... Best of luck in Bangkok. Yeah. I spent a good hour and a half in Khaitan. It's a very nice place

from the inside of my car. Yeah. And to be honest, I felt like it was calmer because I went to a bakery, got a bunch of pies, ate them, then went to a second bakery

and then the car stopped working. So it was like punishing me for going to two different bakeries. God, if that's part of the new car, Nick Carr's fucked. Sorry, Nick Carr, I love you. What is happening with these lights behind us? I don't know if it's happening, but thank you for bringing it up. Does everyone else feel this?

Do you want to know the reason? It's because you've dimmed them down too low, so just boost them up a bit and they'll stop flickering. Yeah, thank you. Nah, it's still happening. No. Turns out you're a bogan that doesn't know what you're talking about. No, I'm right.

No, you're not. When you dim them, they flicker. Here's an idea. Turn them the fuck off. Thank you. And also these ones so we can all go home. Oh, yeah. Can you turn all the lights In the whole venue off right now

Can you do it No no besides that curtain I need to see that curtain At all times Let's just turn this Whole experience Into an escape room Turn it off

Turn all the lights off And then everyone Starts swinging Can you Can you turn all the lights off In the whole room right now? Can you do that? No, they can't do that.

Yeah. Probably you. They're on different fucking... I think you can do these ones on stage, but I don't know if you can do the... Yes! That's all right. Oh. Oh, fuck.

What about those ones as well? Nah, it's worth it. Turn those lights off. Turn those lights off. Yeah. Yeah. But the friends listening at home, this has been so great. Oh, this podcast is not getting released.

Don't worry about it. Yeah. Some in the crowd are going, listeners are going to love this. this has been so great. This podcast is not getting released, don't worry about it. Some in the crowd are going, listeners are going to love this. You're here right now, who fucking cares? Do you know what I love? While all these lights are off, the mirror ball is still spinning. So that's great, isn't it? Also now, the five people up the back are now the spotlighted acts of the show. Now Nick Carr is the show.

And Lawrence Moody. Oh, and we're back. So, Brett, you are in charge, you were telling me before the show, of Nick Capper's bucks. Yes. I said I didn't want to say this story up here. Are you the best man? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Me and his brother are the best man at his wedding. Best man. I really didn't want to... Well, no, because a friend of mine, this wedding I was at recently, for the Bucks, the guy who was organising the Bucks,

they had this idea where they thought, we'll make him a mug and the handle will be like a big dildo, right? So one guy in the group was like... Imagine. That's what all my mugs are like. That's just a normal mug. I don't know what the problem is.

Don't talk to me until I've had my morning big cough. Having a mug like that and a dick strawstra would really be committing to the bit. So one guy in the group was like, I've got a 3D printer. He gets a blueprint for it and he goes, I'm going to feed this into the 3D printer. I'll print this out for the bucks. And he's like, he puts it in and he's like, oh, it says it's going to take 230 hours to print. But, you know, we're doing this with plenty of time.

So, yeah, we'll be good to go here. So it's like a week and a half. Yeah. So finally, after this, it finishes. He has put the dimensions in wrong, and they've made something like a six litre mask

with this giant dick attached to it as the handle. So I've got some visual references here and it's great that we've been fucking around with the lights, so this is going to go well. Bring it over here. I'm the only one in light.

I like my coffee like I like my dick. Hey, that's a fucking bright light. Jesus Christ. Holy shit. There's a guy drinking out of a... That's a mug with a dick. That's the second smallest dick I've ever seen, to be honest. Drinking out of a massive stein.

So, yeah, that's a foot-long dick. This is actually traumatic for me. Well, for multiple reasons. Because I was at Officeworks today and Tommy goes to Nick, and Carl was with Kari today, goes, can you please print out a few things for us? And we're like, oh yeah, whatever. And then we're just putting it through the fucking printer.

We don't even know what's going on. And this big black cock comes out of the printer and Kari's having a panic attack and this old lady's like next to us, like, oh my God. And I took a moment to pause, wink at her, anyway, to scale, sweetheart. Anyway, you know. You have a black dick. Yes.

It's a tribute. When I said I was quarter Burmese, I meant in that department. I just get a call from you going, are you trying to get us fucking kicked out of office, Woods? I've never been more angry. There's all these nice ladies who are just chilling out, just doing, I don't know what the fuck they are. I mean, Curry just trying to hide a big black dick in office.

Well, so the buck, his name is Nick, and that's written down the side of the cock. So I could give you that for Kappa's bucks. I could try and procure it, yeah. Yes, yes, yes. We're off to the races here. Great. You went to a music festival.

Did you go to a music festival. Did you go to a music festival with Kappa? Yes. Last year. Oh, are you talking about Meredith? Maybe.

That was like four years ago. Oh, okay. Right, right, right. Current content. That's good. I'm always, as soon as you start talking, I can see that little pen on the back.

If only I could read, I'd know what I'm hitting with. I was watching you looking at that page going, what is that fucking word? as you start talking I can see that little pen on the back. If only I could read I'd know what I'm hidden with. I was watching you looking at that page going, what is that fucking word? But also it's like, cat.

Am I Peter Hallier? No, no, no. You just wrote jungle? Yeah, I know. That was my research. Watch out, Tracy Grimshaw. I was really hoping

he didn't see that but I think he did. Jungle question mark. Did you get nervous before you go into the jungle? To be fair, there was two question marks. Where do you get your ideas of the jungle? How do you remember it all in the jungle? Did you drink hand sanitiser as well?

That's a very niche reference. That's good stuff. Yes. No, so you went to a festival with him. Yes. And what was the story? Wasn't he on the Ferris wheel or something? Oh, yeah, yeah.

So we... So he goes, at Meredith Music Festival, there's a no dickhead policy. How'd you get in? Here we go. This is where I'm... Fuck, brother. There we go. This is where I'm fucked, brother.

Queenslander! And you get him full time. You're the first person to ever make that joke. Yeah, yeah. I'm a new mayor of this state. That was fresher than this can of coke. I'll tell you when you can talk, Brett.

So Cabin's talking to me. He goes, mate, it's a fucking good festival with some friends and family and stuff. Just don't be a fuckhead. Just don't be you for the weekend and just behave. And I was like, yeah, man, I'm not going to do anything. What are you talking about? And it was a themed party.

By the way, Nick Kappa is a man who the year before this at Meredith pissed his pants twice. Twice? Twice. That's alright. Well, he can't make it worse in his logic. That's right. If you do it once, you may as well load up on top of it.

And so he's giving me this wild pep talk, but he also came, he was dressed as Snake Blizzard from Escape from LA. And he had an eye patch that was an old from a lid from an all an old oil canister but he didn't clean the oil off it so when he removed it he just had a black eye for the whole trip and his eye went pink and fucked or anyway hidden darts as well just oh my god so no fuckhead policy he's rinsing me to 15 minutes later. He's got Fireball in a fucking Super Soco just squirting into people's mouths. And he got blind. I've never seen him this drunk.

And we went on a Ferris wheel and the guys who operated it were like, all right, you guys don't fuck around or whatever. These are your relatives? Yeah. My people. We were on there for free. That's you. Yeah, yeah. Using my jokes people. We were on there for free. That's you.

Yeah, yeah. Using my jokes against me. Good on you, Tom. Oh, should I talk about the Greens or some boring leftist bullshit? Anyway. I fucked a circus guy. Touché. Also, I do vote Greens, so fuck off, Tom.

He's actually punched up your gear there. Yeah, he's really... The only reason you vote green is because you can't read any of the words on the fucking ballot paper. I'm going to vote for a colour. Green means go. That's good. The greens, they hate electric cars too. I'll vote for them.

I actually like electric cars, you fuckheads, because they've got less moving points, but I've had too many beers, and they've got more torque than a normal car, you fuckhead. Oh, there's a VB on the ballot form. I'm voting for that. I think I just voted for a tree. Anyway, how long were you stuck in your car for?

You fucking moron. Anyway, so we're on this Ferris wheel. The Ferris wheel's not even funny now. I'm moving on. No, the Ferris wheel's funny. Oh, the coke's kicking in, I tell you what. Sorry, Freddie. Carry on with your funny story.

It's not even that good. It's good. So we're on this massive Ferris wheel and we're some of the chick friends of ours, right? And Kappa's still drank. He's still dressed as... He's not even going to punch at the end. This is really...

It's good. I'll probably listen back to this. Imagine not being able to read. this. Imagine not being able to read. I'm sorry. We've just got the giggles. This has never happened to me in a dub dub club.

I love you, mate. You're great. Yeah, we love you. You're my favourite child. You've got this. You've got it. Thank you. Thank you, Charm. There you go, buddy.

Everyone stop laughing and listen to Brett. Pretend you're in a Carl stand-up show. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. There wouldn't be that many people here, would there, Carl? Uh-oh. Also, it's time to wrap it up, so this will be the last thing of the show.

No pressure. You've got this, dude. Let's do this story and finish on 20 minutes on pedophiles yeah? Is that good? Getting roasted by the guy whose show got cancelled

on ABC Anyway Uh oh Tonightly No one watched it Anyway He's lashing out Someone's upset

He's going beast mode Someone's upset I'm sorry I love you ABC the one network you can read. It's actually 10 page because I can see the fruit logo. Well, yeah, yeah. You can't count up to seven, so that's out.

Lawrence, help me out up here! They're turning on me with the big words and I don't understand it. So we're up on a Ferris wheel. Oh yeah, that's right. That's still happening. From an hour ago, by the way. Drumroll, please. This is the last bit, so I better be good.

Come on, guys, drumroll! Hey, everyone. Brett Blake has a gun license. I do as well. You know that because I try... Yeah. Anyway. Anyway, Harley was trying to give me a weed plant

and I said I couldn't have it because I just bought two new guns. The cops were coming over to check whether my safe was legal. So anyway. Hey, AR-15. That's another one you can spell. That's good. It's a fucking.38 and you might know it sooner than you think. You won't be seeing green, you'll be seeing a little red dot. What a great riff.

I'm going to shoot you. Do you actually need to know the name of the gun before you get shot? I'm not sure if you do. 38's actually the bullet, but anyway, we'll talk after the show. What? Don't bring in a new topic, for fuck's sake. Just talk about the wheel. We've got the best story of all time, the Ferris wheel story coming up, alright?

Let him breathe. Please let me have my moment to shine. The oxy is kicking in and I feel invincible right now. So we're up in the Ferris wheel. Nick Capper is dressed as Snake Blizzard and he's had 15 shots of fireball

and now for some reason he's standing up and the carny folk, my mum, is... He admitted it. He actually admitted it. The carnival folk, the guy Tom bums because it's your boyfriend works in the circus. You guys get it.

Anyway, so Cabo's standing up and the guy, because it's man-powered... You bum a guy? What the fuck? Can I finish the world's best story, please? Without any interruption. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Have some respect for my craft. It's like being on a Ferris wheel.

There's highs and there's lows. You know, we're... Sorry. Everyone, please. And it just goes round and round and round. I don't even want to say it. Some people vomit. Here we are.

So the guys have kept... They have to pull it by hand The fucking Ferris wheel Where was this? Meredith Music Festival You were actually there that year I was there that year Yeah, yeah It was sick

I tried to let my boss's tyres down With a knife He works with Man With A Van Go fuck yourself Tim, you cunt You owe me 300 bucks Anyway, keep that in by the way. Fuck. No one's safe. No one is safe.

So he's pulling the wheel and he's like, Kappa, sit down, sit down. They're screaming at him and Kappa is so drunk. If you know anything about Kappa, his pants are always halfway down, his arsehole is always visible, but he goes to sit down and for some unknown reason, like, because I always scream at Kappa, sit down, sit down. His arsehole is always visible. But he goes to sit down and for some

unknown reason, like, because I always scream at Cap, sit down, sit down. And this chick who's sitting across from me does a thumbs up, like, good on ya. And Cap's bumhole falls directly onto her thumb. So her thumb is in his

arsehole And she starts screaming And then two old ladies in the other car Think that this girl's raping Kappa or something Imagine finding a new stinkier bit of Kappa Fucking Christ It's a modern fairy tale So they stop the ride It was a perfect fit

like Cinderella but the best part of the whole trip was because it's a three day music festival and I said oh man it's rough you don't have a shower

at the end of it and he goes yeah man I haven't had a shower in five days I was like man it's a three day music festival and he goes yeah I didn't have a shower

for a couple of days before I got here Brent Blake everyone be upstanding three-day music festival. He goes, yeah, I didn't have a shower for a couple of days before I got here. Brent Blake, everyone! Be upstanding! Get on your feet, you motherfuckers! Come on, I did it! I did it!

Kid comedy, everybody! Let's crowd surf him out of here. Crowd surf him out, come on! Come on, let's do it! Come on, get out! Get the fuck out. This is happening. Jesus Christ. That was not planned well.

He's got a fucking very big core fucking weight. Guys, don't drop him on his head. He might get brain damage. We shouldn't have given him full strength coke. Oh my God. Sorry, my back in, but I've got some oxy to get through it. You got to the second row, that's something. All right.

I just want to say very quickly, I'm very excited to be moving home to my home state, but there was a moment where we talked about the fact that you have a gun licence, and I realised that I was home when one of the audience members went, what kind of guns? So, can't wait to be back here.

We've got to close on that. Yeah, it's quarter to six on a Saturday night so now you guys can go out and we can all start to actually get a bit loose now. That's good. Guys, give a big round of applause. Harley, Brie, Tom, Bella, Brett, Blake. Thank you so much for listening

and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. And they've done it again. Oh, Bernardo. The great Bernardo. He's done a magic trick with his foot and a ball. Yep. In an episode.

Thanks to everyone that came to Brisbane yet again. I hope you got through that one okay at home. Without listening to it, it felt like a pretty loose one and a bit of a party where sometimes people get a little bit alienated and think, oh, that sounds like shit because I wasn't there. Yep. So I hope it wasn't too chaotic, but the guests were all, and to a degree us, were drinking throughout the first one and it got a bit loose in the second one. Imagine waking up on a Sunday morning

and your friend just sends you an audio recording and they're like, hey man, here's a voice memo I recorded of this party I was at last night. Here's four hours of just other people having fun. Have a listen to that. Yes. It was fun at the time.

It was fun in the room. Mate, this is killer. Have a listen. You'll love it. It's like being at the party. Might be better. I was being really funny in front of other people. I think you'll like it.

Some other people you've never met were at the party too. Yep. They were laughing. Yep. What's your fucking problem? Yep. How is this that different to other stuff that you listen to? Yeah.

Well, anyway, hope you liked it. Yep. But hey. We did it for you. We did it for you. If you're at home and you're listening and you're like, well, I wasn't at that party. I was in WA. Yes.

So I couldn't go to that party. I wish I could go to a party. Wow. Well, we have some good news for you, Perth. All people that want to go to Perth, it's a way away. But Saturday, November the 4th, we're coming back to WA. Yep. That's right.

We're recreating the episode we did a couple of years ago where we just sat in a hotel room with six listeners. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, hang on. We're not doing that. We're going to do... We've done a proper one since then as well. That would be good.

Maybe we should do a Talking Dumb Dumb like that. Yep. Maybe in Perth when we do this show on Saturday, November the 4th. Yep. Go to our website for details. Grab your tickets nice and early. Maybe we can pick our favourite audience members from that audience, take them to our hotel room and do a Talking Dumb Dumb Live up there.

Fuck, that sounds sus when you describe it like that. We'll pick our favourite audience members that get to come back to our hotel room. Motley Crue style. Yeah, this has been happening. We didn't invent this. This has been happening for decades. Having our roadies look out through the audience. The thing to really make it creepy is we're not doing it. We have a third party on our behalf that's going through the crowd

and going, Mr Chandler would like you to join him back at his hotel room. Mr. Chandler would like you to join him for an episode of Talking Dumb Dumb. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Not too bad. Well, we can do that. Yeah. I look forward to doing that.

So that's happening Saturday, November 4th. Heaps of time to get your tickets. But, you know, always very well attended the Perth shows. Yeah. And I think, yeah, I think we sold out last time. And it was a pretty big venue. So get on to that. Yeah.

That'll be fun. Come check us out. A little while away. You've got plenty of notice. But sleep on it. Getting back to Brisbane, though, we and things that we talked about within the show. I can't remember whether it was this one or the previous one. I did announce Dum Dum Con.

It was this one. It was this one. Okay, that's good. Then I've done the right thing. So come along there on, if you're in the neighborhood, in a couple of days' time. Oh, yeah, right. In Thailand, in Koh Samui, on June the, I don't know whether I said 10th or 11th,

let's say 11th, to give you an extra 24 hours. Sure. Oh, it's bumped back. If you're undecided and you're in, you know, let's say Boput or Lamai. Yep. Or even Chewing Beach. Just, you know, I know you're out there. There's a few of you, there's a handful of you that literally live in Samui.

Yep. And then there's some others. So here's your big heads up. Three or four days. Yep. And for anyone that maybe lives in Tullamarine or near any airport in Australia and you're just sitting there going, what should I do? Oh, I guess I could catch a plane.

Do you reckon people ever do that? Get on lastminute.com. Yeah. Maybe today's your lucky day. Do you reckon people ever do that? That because you just live near the Maybe today's your lucky day. Do you reckon people ever do that? That because you just live near the airport, you go, oh, that's an option. What should we do? Go to the movies or get on a plane?

I think that's what a 10-year-old thinks living near the airport is like. Thank you. You're saying I look young. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm saying you look real sexy. Yeah. It's good to laugh again.

Yeah. Yeah, finally. So that's on. Also, what else? I think that would have been a lot more common, like the very, just the concept of like people just turning up to the airport and going, give me a flight. Yeah. Can you even do that anywhere at the airport and going give me a flight yeah can you even do that anywhere at the airport now is there anywhere that you can rock up can you pay cash for a flight at the airport exactly yeah i mean that must have been that would have have to have been

a thing back in the day well they definitely had like flight centers out there so you could just do that there yes yes yes i don't think they'd do any more though no but i mean they'd just be like you could just go ask someone. They'd be like, get on your phone, mate. Yeah. You do it. That's it. Do it your fucking self.

That's it. That's what's happening now. I don't reckon you couldn't go up to any terminals and just with cash and go, get me on that flight. Yeah. But the girl that I love is on that plane. Yeah. Because the romantic comedy, it's the ending of that it's it's much more dull in 2023 yes it's like the guy racing to the airport yeah and then a

scene where he's just on his phone yeah just booking the flight yeah yeah you know there's no like quick get me on there yeah no totally it's it's yeah no no amount of dramatic music can really sort of make exciting someone doing admin on a phone. Right. Yeah. Do you like how my cat is warming to you? Yeah, a little bit. The cat?

I mean, I continue to be allergic. So I'm not loving having, I've just now got to be really like, okay, don't touch that part of your jeans that she touched and then touch your eyes. Yeah, because she's just smooth i've noticed the last couple of times you've come over she's been smoothing you yeah but um i think she's like yeah sort of like getting nicer in her old age it's um not that she's old but she's just maturing and she's she's very standoffish and very um not very personable but she's been yeah coming up to you she's been regularlyoffish and very, not very personable, but she's been, yeah, coming up to you. She's been regularly jumping. She sat on my lap the other day for the first time ever.

Softening in her old age. Yeah. We should get our pets together. I wonder what Kibi would make of Crunchy. Not much. Not much. My blanket is obsessed with Crunchy. Oh, yeah.

Any conversation we ever have is it just always goes back to crunchy it doesn't matter it's like what did you have for lunch at school i don't know well have a think hmm i don't know but i i don't know what i had but i wonder what crunchy had for nice fucking hell jesus christ everything's got to do with Crunchy. I mean, that's me and my girlfriend with our dog. Oh, really? 36, just any time we're out of the house. What do you think Kewpie's doing right now? Yeah.

Well, yeah. It's, yeah. Anyway, it's good because we got her because she's like a beautiful cat, but it's like, fuck. I wish she was a bit fucking friendly. And then you look up the temperament and you're like, oh, this is the wrong one to have gone although someone at the brisbane show came up and went he's we've got a cat just like yours great is it affectionate yes oh okay okay maybe we've

just got a cunt of a cat yeah i used to love i used to really want a shiba inu i used to be obsessed with them and when i when i was like single and lived alone and thought i'd get a dog that was like the breed that i was like oh Oh, I really want to get one of these. They're really good kind of solo dogs. They're sort of like fine with their own company, which is good if you like single live alone and you go out a little bit. And then obviously it never happened. But then when we were taking QB to puppy school,

there was a couple there who had a Shiba Inu. And I was like, thank God I never got one of these dogs. Cause they are cunts. It's like, Oh yeah, it's really fine by itself. You know what that means? It doesn't give a shit about you.

That's why it's good. You don't want a dog that's good by itself. How do you get anything out of that? Yeah, you want a dog that loves attention. You're leaving the house and going, oh, that feels good that I know that my dog isn't alone, isn't lonely. I want something out of this transaction yeah I mean it's a bummer to like leave Kewpie

for a bit and he's like looks pretty sad that's his problem but then you come in yeah you know I put a bit of ABC radio on for him

he's loving that does he love a bit of Macca all over or whatever AM radio yeah that's what you're told put on talkback because it's like voices

so they feel like they're not alone and then one time I went out or like I got home and my girlfriend had gone out while I was out. And she put the radio on, but she just put on jazz, just a jazz playlist on Spotify. And I'm like, no, it's not just any sound that they want to listen to. You put the radio on because it's voice. You can't just put on fucking rage against the machine. It's like. He's got the jazz on and he's barking at the radio. You stupid's voice. You can't just put on fucking Rage Against the Machine.

It's got the jazz on and he's barking at the radio. You stupid dog. That's scat, not cat. Yeah. It's not just something for him to listen to. It's to trick him into thinking that we haven't abandoned him for an hour. And they have no concept of time. So they think He doesn't need background music while he's working. Yeah.

You know what I was thinking about? Must be like a dog, like any kind of animal must get driven insane. Because you sort of think for us, like we get to the end of a day. Okay. Sleep time now. Get up. Reset. But an animal doesn't have that.

They have no concept of like, wow, the end of another big day. It's just all one rolling, continuous stretch of time for them. Yeah. Don't you think that would make you feel insane? That there's no real, like, there's no reset?

Well, I guess it's the same for all of us, really. It's just eternity. Yeah. And even though it's a construct, but we've bought into the construct. Man. Well, yeah, that's trippy, man. You have been up too long. Yeah. And even though it's a construct, but we've bought into the construct. Man. Well, yeah, that's trippy, man. You have been up too long.

We are recording this the same back-to-back with last week's Talking Dumb Dumb. So Tommy couldn't understand some of my concepts last week. So let's see how he goes another hour in. Yeah. And if you can believe this, I've been awake for even longer now. Oh, yeah. Wow. Okay. Fuck, yeah, wow, okay. Fuck, isn't that crazy, man?

This must be setting a new record. Also, shout out, thank you very much, given the content on this show, thank you very much to listener Adam from Brisbane, who supplied the Coca-Cola, the fresh Coca-Cola that we were given. And I very much regret not grabbing the cans off. Yeah. Damn. We left that on stage.

Bet the staff loved cleaning all that shit up. Well, they just would have chucked out the cans of Coke, which is unfortunate because one of them had the word cunt on it, on a can of Coke, which I... We could have brought down the whole company. We really should have. Yeah. We could have brought down the whole company. We really should have. Yeah. We could have gotten ourselves in the papers. Like, you remember that?

There's that great... I still see this image pop up from time to time. That photo of the woman who got a... I think it was a burger from Macca's maybe. And like on the inside of the box, someone's drawn a big cock on the inside of the lid. We could have been like that. Just us in the paper, just sad. Yeah, yes.

I looked at the bottom of my can and it upset me. Yeah, someone has like a receipt where it's like got all the info and then at the bottom it's typed out, take a big old shit in this cunt's burger and do a cum and he's Sprite. Yeah, yeah. We could have been like that. We could have been that. Yeah, we could have been like, what's it called? We could have been an odd spot. Coogee Bay Hotel. We could have been an odd spot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We could have been like that. Yeah. We could have been like, what's it called?

We could have been an odd spot. Coogee Bay Hotel. We could have been an odd spot. Yeah. Fuck. Damn. God damn it. And we could have got a listener of our show fired.

Yeah. Fuck. That would have been cool. How disappointing. We could have brought down Coca-Cola and then started our own soft drink company. Not only that. We could have brought down Coca-Cola Amatil. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. We'd love to fucking. I'd love to get rid of amatil yeah you know how it's called that in australia coca-cola amatil i don't know why but it's always struck me like what's amatil i'm sure i could look it up but um let's not yeah um i said to him i i thanked him over text. Yep. We met him at the back. We got the coke off him. And then he said, oh, I'm back there today, but they're running Sprite today. Oh.

So we were lucky. They have different days. Yeah. Sprite day. How's that? Sprite day. Yeah. It's like the gym.

Ah, leg day. Yeah, yeah. I can't believe you fucked going in. Sprite day. Yeah. It's like the gym. Ah, leg day. Yeah, yeah. I can't believe you fucked going in. Sprite day. What a drag. You're leaving the house with your lunch pail saying to your wife, don't expect me home soon, honey. Yeah. It's Sprite day.

You know what that means. I'll be pulling an all-nighter. Yeah. Daddy, daddy. You said you'd come to my baseball game tonight. Oh, it's Fanta day at the office, honey. Hey, well, funnily enough, that's what I said. I said, I'll be back when it's Fanta day. And he said, can't see I it's Fanta Day at the office, honey. Hey, well, funnily enough, that's what I said. I said,

I'll be back when it's Fanta Day. And he said, I can't see, I've seen Fanta here. He doesn't do Fanta? Yeah. Wow.

Where's Fanta done? Yeah. Well, you know what it's like. It's like the president and the vice president. Of course. They can't have them on the same plane.

Yeah. Yeah. In case Al-Qaeda come and bomb the Coca-Cola factory in Brisbane. Imagine. They don i want fanta to go down the drain as well imagine a world without coke and fanta in brisbane yeah imagine being in brisbane and having both of them gone coke's gone there's no more left well at least we've still got fanta the thing that hardly anyone likes that's way too sickly that the idea of it is infinitely better than the actual thing.

Yes. Anyway. It's like pancakes. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds great. Do you want one of them? Yeah, great.

Do you want two of them? No way. I don't think I want any more again ever. Speaking of things that sound great in theory but in execution are not as good. Yes. Let's read out some names from Patreon. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub. Get yourself on there.

Subscribe to the show. Support us in our artistic endeavors. And, hey, in return, you'll get two little mini bonus episodes per week with some great special guests. Not only that, hey, listen, think to yourself, would you like to contribute to this show? Secondly, think to yourself, even if you don't want to do that, have you got a job or have you got a lot of time to kill? Have you got a mindless job where you need to constantly fill it in with something stuck in your ears? Heaps of bonus content from this.

As soon as you sign up, you've got hundreds of mini episodes. You get the whole catalogue straight away. Yeah, they fly through the air into your ears. They're an easy listen because they're only 15 minutes. You don't have to slog through like fucking what you're doing right now with this thing. Yeah. Think to yourself, are you at a workplace where you've recently gotten a raise that's basically just to get your salary in line with inflation?

Yes. Well, hey. Forget the inflation bit. We're not bump line with inflation. Yes. Well, hey. Forget the inflation bit. We're not bumping up our Patreon numbers. Oh, yeah. Everything else is going up. Oh, yeah. So just if more people subscribe,

then that's basically us coming up in line with inflation. That's right. Let's inflate our Patreon subscribers. If you're not subscribing right now, think of yourself as the 15% that needs to go up. Exactly. Yes, that's a go up. Exactly. Yes. Yeah.

That's a good idea. Sorry. Think of yourself as the cost of living personified for us. Exactly. Yes. So get on board. And also, look, at the very least, if you can't do any of that, tell a friend about the show.

Yeah. Get someone else onto it. Send them your favorite episode. Preferably a friend with more disposable income than you. Yeah. Get someone else onto it. Send them your favourite episode. Preferably a friend with more disposable income than you. Yeah. Think of you,

the person who doesn't get his round in at the pub. Then think of someone who does. Yeah, that's good. Pass it on to them. Yep. Yep. Yep.

That'd be good. Just say, like, someone comes with the round of pints and you're like, I'm not going to get you a pint, just to be clear, but what I will do instead

is recommend a comedy podcast that I think you might enjoy. You can give more money to. Yeah. Yeah. Great. All right. Thank you very much.

First cab off the rank this week to people who do get their rounds in their rounds of podcast contributions in. Yep. Thank you very much to patron subscriber, Emily Eve. Emily Eve. Wow. The dream. Yep. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Emily Eve. Emily Eve. Wow, the dream. Yeah.

Double E's. The dream, really? Yeah. Isn't that the dream? That's fucking gigantic. Yeah. That's why it's a dream. That's verging on too big.

That's verging on too big. Verging on too big. Verging, so not too big. I mean, look, I'd need to see it. I'd need to see it first before I make my ruling. Yes. Well, now I'm certainly Googling double E's. And what's good is that you're in front of your window

and I can see the reflection of the screen from behind you. Yes. Yeah, these are some big tits you're looking at. Yeah, that's pretty big. Yeah, there's some pretty big tits that are on the screen. There's some bras. They look pretty big. Yeah, yeah.

Turn safe search off. Oh, yeah. Is that safe search off? Let's just stop doing this now and put a por, yeah. How do you... Is that Safe Search off? Let's just stop doing this now and put a porno on. What do you think? Yeah. Imagine watching a porno with your mate. Imagine if we watched a porno as a joke.

I don't think Safe Search is on, so I'm going to put naked. No, it didn't. Nothing happened. Naked, double E. How do you get nude? Okay, double E. I'm getting rid of bra. That's what's holding me back.

Oh, you had bra in? Yes. So then you put in double E bra nude. Yes. Well, that would just be one of those like skin coloured. Yeah, now I'm getting like nothing again. What have you put in? Alright, double E breasts. This has got to work or I'm getting like nothing again. What have you put in? All right. Double E breasts. This has got to work.

Yeah. Or I'm going to kill myself. Here we go. Okay. Now, now, now we are looking at. Now we're cooking with boobs.

Oh yes. There she is. The first result. The world's hottest grandma flaunts E-cup cleavage at 50. Damn. Great stuff. Well, I'm sure Emily Eve is rapt to have inspired such Googling. Hey, look, no female guests on this episode, but surely this is just as good.

This is the next best thing, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Sitting around looking at tits. Yeah. We're not looking at men's tits. No. Yeah. That is diversity. Damn. Yeah. But Emily not looking at men's tits. No. Yeah. That is diversity.

Damn. Yeah. But Emily Eve. Emily Eve. Yeah. Cool name. I like it. I like the name Eve, I've got to say.

Is it, is this her real name? I've got to ask that. Yeah, I don't know. Because she's got too much of a Hollywood slash, may I say, adult model sort of a name. It's just a bit too catchy. She could be those things. Oh, that would be great. I'll allow it.

That would be great. As a feminist, I'll allow it. Do you know what? Someone messaged... Now, I don't... Here's a little mystery for you, Tommy Dastlo. Great. If I may use your full fictional name.

great if i may yeah use your full uh fictional name um someone added us into a uh we get this every now and then we get a few of these someone is wearing a red someone sees a red oh there's a fucking bluey rad dad shirt doing the rounds at the moment that i'm sick of seeing so we get that a lot yeah we get what else do we get um you know a lot of that sort of stuff you know duck sandwiches yeah there's a picture of a duck yeah chuck that at him i mean basically any news story about thailand whatsoever all that stuff poo being found in the street yeah all that sort of stuff so anyway uh one that we have gotten before especially from america listeners there is a um some lollipops yes lollipops called dum-dums yep right so this guy has added his into it and put that up as a as a insta story so i've gone who's this character and i've clicked on the profile and this guy's got like 116 000 followers

i don't know who he is no idea who he is i could have looked it up, I guess. But all I did was I looked at his profile page and his first couple of posts. And what do I see in there? I'm showing you from afar a post that he's put up in the last couple of months. Right? What can you see from here? From here, I can't see who that's of. But what can you see? It's a couple standing on the beach.

Yes. Walking along the beach. Yep. Now, speaking of double E's, that is the person who's added us in, the male. Yep. Who is the female he is with? Who? Only Pamela Anderson.

Whoa. So, what I'm trying to figure out is, this guy, he sent us this thing about dum-dum lollipops. Mm. And then gone, ah, this is you. I'm like, cool. But he doesn't follow us. And then I've gone through and he's walking on the beach with Pamela Anderson. So I've just replied to the message and gone, how the hell do you know Pamela Anderson?

Yeah. Just left us on scene. Ooh. What's his name? His name is Matt Evers. Matt Evers. Yeah. Have you tried Googling him?

No, but I will right now. Matt Evers. An American model. American pair skater, model and actor. Wow. Is this him? Must be. He's got 116,000 followers.

Yeah, that's him. Damn. What's he... He can't listen to our show. There's no way. He's... Matt Evers is an American pair skater, model and actor. He's the 1998 US Junior Champion

and has competed in every series of the ITV series Dancing on Ice. What the hell? So he would have been... So Pamela Anderson, a couple of years ago, was on Dancing on Ice. Yep. He would have been the partner of Dancing on Ice. What the hell? So he would have been... So Pamela Anderson, a couple of years ago, was on Dancing on Ice. Yep. He would have been the partner of Dancing on Ice for her. So... And this guy listens to our show.

Well, it's either that or when he added Dumb Dumb Club, he thought he was adding... The lollipop. The actual lollipop. Oh. Why would you do that? Why would you take a picture of a can of Coke and then at Coca-Cola? I mean, people do do weird stuff. People love getting their brands on there.

Yeah. Especially if you're a guy like this. Well, this is, well, look, whatever. But it says Matt Evers is a pair skater, model and actor. And the first question that comes up, you know when it says people also ask? Yeah. People also ask, has Matt Evers ever been married? Do they?

All right. All right. That's something for everyone there. Yeah, exactly. What I like is, let's assume that he thinks he's tagging in the lollipop brand. Right. Right? Yes.

He does that. Yes. And then he gets a reply back from the lollipop. Do you know Pamela Anderson? I mean, I'd leave that on scene too. I'd be like, what the heck? What is the lollipop asking of me? I don't understand why they're killing me.

Wow, lollipops get horny too. That's cool. Well, Matt, if you're listening right now, reach out. Yes. This is crazy that we're... Yes, he is. Here we go. Yes, confirmed.

He was the partner of Pamela Anderson on Dancing on Ice. Great stuff from the... Oh, wow. Here's three different news stories that say Pamela Anderson dating Matt Evers. Isn't this wild? Let's just savour and enjoy this moment because in years to come,

we could look back on this moment right now as the first step towards what ended with us getting pamela anderson on the podcast well it's it so it says here so these are not 2013 news reports saying that pamela anderson is dating matt evas right but then when it says Matt Evers ever got married, he came out as gay in 2018. Yeah, right. So obviously the answer is no, he was not dating her.

I fucked Pammy and even that didn't convince me. Unless somehow she made him, unless he rooted Pamela Anderson, then went, well, what else is there now? Right. I've clocked that side of the gender wars. Right. It's time to fuck men. Who would you turn gay for?

Yes. Well. Who would turn you gay? Who would turn you gay? Yes. Yeah. It was the opposite. It wasn't like, she's so bad that he went never again women.

Yeah. He reached the top of the mountain. Yeah. And went, why. It wasn't like she's so bad that he went never again, women. Yeah. He reached the top of the mountain. Yeah. And went, why did you stop climbing mountains? Because I climbed the Himalayas. What else is there? Yeah. I was at the top.

Yeah. There's nothing else to do. Anything I do after that is just going to be like a slightly smaller mountain. What, you want me to go and climb that hill? Yeah. Who gives a fuck? Yeah. So that's...

That's going to be boring for me. Yes. I'm going to go in caves from now on instead. Sure. Something. The opposite of hills. Yep. That's what that is, I assume.

Yep. I'm going to go in holes from now on. Sure. Hills are being straight and caves are being gay. Sure. Look, I'm out of my league. We're talking about someone that possibly has had sex with pamela anderson hey look this is like a crazy mystery that we're like solving on the fly

i'm happy like you're saying about having pamela anderson on the show the bigger dream to me is if that rumor as reported in several absolutely not reputable English newspapers, is true. And we just get to talk to someone who's had sex with Pamela Anderson and just get to say several different permutations of what was it like. Yeah, how'd you get that? Yes. Yeah. That's the dream.

Okay. Okay. Great new episode this week with guests Matt Evers and Dave O'Neill. Us going, oh, what was she like? And O'Neill going, what school did she go to? Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Canadian High? Yeah. What sort of nightclub?

Moose Knuckles? Yeah. Or what was it called? Absolutely. That would be great. All right. Well, thanks. Wait.

Thanks, Emily Eve. Thanks, Emily Eve. Wow. We got there from there. Damn. Congratulations, Emily. That's quite a little path you led us on. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber.

Well, thank you to Carl Gertsarkis. Gertsarkis. Gert by C. I would have thought the other name was more interesting, but whatever. Gertbysarkis. Gert, Gert. Yeah, you can sark this. Gert.

Yep. Gertsarkis. Did we ever find out with all the National Anthem bullshit what Gert meant? It's just like near, isn't it? Is it? Something like that. What does Gert mean in Australia? Great, fabulous, hot, terrific.

Hey, that's Gert. Australia is terrific by sea. Yeah. That's so Gert, man. That's so Gert, man. Yeah. That's so gert. What was it like to have sex with Pamela Anderson? It was pretty gert-y. Totally gert.

Covered in gert. Yeah. Oh, I'm loving having sex with you, Pammy. I'm about to gert. I'm about to do a big gert. That is a gert pair you've got there. Yeah. I don't believe that that's exactly how that works.

Carl, that is one of the rare Carls that have subscribed to this show, I'd have to say. You don't subscribe, do you? No, I'm not counting myself. Right. I am saying... Well, I know you don't listen back, but I thought maybe you might have chipped in on Patreon.

I'm one of those people that doesn't listen and doesn't subscribe. Right, right. So you're most of the population. Yes, one of those people. You're in the majority of the population of Earth. I'm basically, on average, a person. I'm part of the 99.99999999% Isn't that crazy to think?

This show is our whole lives, and yet the majority of people on Earth don't even know it exists. Yes. Really makes you think, doesn't it? Yes. The majority of our employers, so to speak, give us zero money. Yep. As well. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. But on Patreon, in my records, according to the UTA here, this is only the second ever Carl with a K subscriber we've ever had. Interesting. How's that? Interesting. Does that blow your tiny mind? I recognize Gert Sarkis from the socials.

He's pretty active, I will say. The thing that sticks out to me about Gert Sarkis is he's always pretty swift with a like on Twitter. Oh, really? Yeah. You can always count on him giving you that little heart. Would you like to know? Then I thought, you know what? Surely we've had

a heap of Tommies then. Yep. Would you like to know? I was thinking there must have been heaps over the years. I'll probably Google and there'll be a ton. And look. This is on Google? I mean, sorry. I Googled the UTA. Why is this public? I Googled the U there'll be a ton. And look. This is on Google? I mean, sorry. I Googled the UTA.

Why is this public? I Googled the UTA is what I meant. Yeah, you're going to find out. Okay, how many? Do you want me to guess? It does have Google on it. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. You want me to guess how many Tommies have been on Patreon over the years? You can. So there's been two Carl's with a K. Yeah. How many Tommies? Yeah. Three.

Are we just going straight, Tommy? We're not going Tom, Thomas. We're just including Tommies. Oh, that's a good question. I've just looked up Tommy at this point. Okay. Would you like to hear officially the Tommies that have been read out on this show? Please.

There is, way back in the day, there was, Tommy, can you unzip Pants and Bend Over. Okay. Yep. That was the first one. That was the first Tommy. Okay. It was read out. The second one was Tommy I Love You.

Yep. Yep. Then there was, Tommy's a surname, a first name, Fuck You. Okay. Fuck You Tommy. It's a different time back then. Tommy Daslo Comedy. Okay. That Fuck You. Okay. Fuck You, Tommy. It's a different time back then. Tommy Daslow Comedy. Okay.

That was on? Yep. For some reason, there was another person called Tommy Daslow Comedy. For some reason. Hey, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong. That was a reason. Tommy Hilfiger Comedy.

Yep. Tommy Hilfiger Comedy Yep And For some reason Someone else Very randomly called And some could say The only one with a normal name Tommy Gatti Okay

That's it So how many was that? Was that six? I don't know Five or six I guess three I wasn't super far off Yeah

It's well Depends on whether you count ones that, I don't know, were the fifth one on the list or ones that were earlier than that. That's true. Each week. That's surprising. Only, you know, not that many Tommies. Not that many.

Not that many Tommies. It's a pretty common name. Yeah. Well, there's a call to Tommies out there. There is, on average, like there should be way more tommy's subscribing than carl's carl's is a lot rarer of a name than tommy i would have thought yeah so um tommy's you're letting the side down carl hurts arcus you're sort of doing pretty well for the team doing god's work yeah for team carl yeah good shit what's it like i've always wanted to say to people like you know

what's your experience been like yeah well how have you gone with life as with this name you know especially if i've ever met a carl chandler that would be way more interesting oh yeah what's like do you think it's helped or hindered your life yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i you'll never meet a tommy taslo so it's gonna be hard for you no i never will unless didn't you find that there was like one in africa or something funny chad or something i could meet them stranger things have happened yeah um that would be great uh have you ever heard of another tommy allsop yeah you know what i don't think i think i meant to say this during the comedy festival there's a guy on instagram who i follow, called Thomas Alsop. And I believe he comes to my festival shows every year.

No way. And I have a feeling like, yeah, I can't remember what the setup is here, why we follow each other. I think maybe he listens to this and contacted me. I don't know. That would be amazing. Yeah. Find out, please.

Yeah, I'll look into it. Carl Gert sarkis um carl gert sark this that's good yes that's really good so some people wait forever for their names to get read out and then they feel a bit disappointed but then you get something like that and you go the weight has been worthwhile absolutely thanks carl thanks carl as i've as i've never heard anyone ever say to me. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Leah Hardiman. Leah Hardiman.

Look at that for back-to-back. My name, Carl, versus the name I was going to be given if I was a girl, Leah. Really? We've seen this on the show before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've definitely seen it on the show before. Leah. Leah.

That was it. That was the four-letter name that I was going to get. Leah Chandler. Leah Chandler. I think I was, I think they didn't know I was going to be a boy. So I think they rocked up to the hospital with both those names in hand to some degree. As we did with little Blanket, although Blanket, you know, because Blanket clearly a girl's name.

We didn't have a great alternative as a boy's name. No. Yes. But the old-fashioned way. That's what I was going to be called if I was a boy. Right. Hard man. Hard man. Hard man.

That would be good to call a baby. That is a first name. Hard man. Hard man. Fucking hell. How did this go back in the day? How did the ancestors go with this one? Hardy man.

Hardy man. Yeah. I mean, hearty man. Hearty? Yeah. Is it evolved from that I mean, Hearty Man. Hearty? Yeah. Is it evolved from that? Like a hearty meal? Stocky, like. Like a thick man?

Burly thick man. Burly. Good on the battlefield. Yeah. Barrel chested. Yeah, he's not up the front of the battle, but he's like, you know, he's holding it down. Obelix style? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Falling into that magic potion as a little baby. Yep. And gaining its powers. The power to become fat. Yep. And have pigtails. Yep.

Like a lady. Have a cute little dog. Dogmatics. Was it his dog? It was his dog. Asterisk's dog. I think it was. I mean, you know, they're knocking around together pretty constantly. Oh, they're sharing a dog.

Sort of the. But I think it's mostly Oblix's dog. Okay. Yeah. What was the name of it? Dogmatics. Dogmatics. I'm looking him up.

I was thinking the other day about maybe dipping back into some old Asterix. I did used to like it quite a lot as a kid. I like... Oh, yeah, who was a companion to Oblix in the Asterix comics. Okay. No, not the... I suppose it wouldix in the Asterix comics. Okay. No, not the... I suppose it would be weird, because Asterix was quite small, so you can't have a dog that's as big as you.

Yeah. It makes more comic sense to have a big fat cunt... Big fat man. ...with a tiny little... Tiny little doggy. Tiny little doggy. Yep. And Asterix doesn't have time to care for a dog.

He's busy out there bashing up Romans. Well, wasn't Oblix doing that as well? Well, yeah, true. I guess that, yeah, they are off together quite a lot. But, I don't know, I still kind of view Asterix as going off on a lot of little solo missions. I liked how in the Asterix, do you call them books or comics? Books, I guess. I guess they're books, yeah. Yeah, in the asterisks, do you call them books or comics? Books, I guess. I guess they're books, yeah.

Yeah. In the universe of asterisks. Anyway, the French cartoon character, if I may. I liked how they named the druid character after Greg Fleet. Nice. Yeah. Don't say it. No.

Just a little Easter egg. No, I've got to say it. For any real heads. They get it. Get a fix. Yeah, that's good for any real heads they get it get a fix yeah that's good there we go you could get time to guess it yeah okay um boy they used to they had a lot of fun with those names in that comic didn't they pretty funny stuff um uh here's the local um here's the local uh gay that lives in the village. He's called Suckadix. And things of that nature.

Right. Those kooky little Frenchmen. Okay. Goscinny and Adazo. Yeah. Oodazo. Yeah. Adazo?

Yeah. Albert and Rene? I don't know. I think. Oodazo and what was it? Goscinny. Yes. Goscinny. Goscinny.

Goscinny. And then one of them died and the other one kind of... Thankfully, it was just the writer that died. They used to sort of write them together and one of them would draw them. And then the guy who was just the writer died. And the drawer went, well, I can just keep cranking these out. Right. And the stories were just dog shit.

Continued. I think they were fine. But, I mean, they had done like 40 of them or something by that point so probably a bit of diminishing returns anyway okay i wonder when the last one i don't know if that other guy is still kicking around or not yeah still just i mean yeah that's pretty it's pretty interesting it's like your collaborative partner dies and you go i'm just gonna keep doing this job without him. Doesn't that bum you out? I've always thought with bands and stuff, you have a lot of those categories where it's like,

all right, the bands that someone left, like their big person left and then they just went to shit and they just went and did fucking after dinner tours. Then there's their big character left and they got even bigger. Yep. their big character left and they got even bigger. Yep. Then there's bands that, like, you know, just sort of decided to stop making,

they didn't, like, they might have lost a couple of members, but then they just decided to stop making any new music because that person was writing. Yep. And so they just toured instead with a different lead singer. Mm-hmm. You know, there's a lot of different reactions to losing, like, one member. There's a lot of different reactions to losing one member.

You can go wildly different directions. We're seeing a pretty unique example of it right now with the Foo Fighters. They've got a guy who's replacing Taylor Hawkins, and they're about to bring out a new album that is pretty much all about them dealing with the grief of losing their very good friend. Right. It's a very bizarre, unique position to be in. And also, he wasn't their original drummer either. No.

And also, the best drummer in the band was not the drummer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I saw there was a story the other day being like, this is the guy who's stepping in now. And there were all these comments on the article being like this is the guy who's uh stepping in now and there were all these like comments on the article being like damn it's a shame there's just no one in the band that could play the drums but i mean that as a move that imagine that grohl goes okay i'm gonna take up the drums and now we're gonna audition for a new lead singer

and guitarist welcome to the foo fighters our to the Foo Fighters, our new singer, Elton John. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be, because I mean, yeah, who's their original drummer of the Foos? Some other dude. Some other dude. Assuming he's still alive, it's like, you know, they go, oh, we're going to keep the band going. They don't all have to die to leave the band.

Well, I mean, I don't know. I don't know if he's still, you know, alive and kicking or whatever, what he's doing. Yes. But it's funny to imagine him. It's like, yeah, Taylor dies and he's like, phone's going to be ringing any day now. I don't know. I think it'd be a tough job being in that band,

being the drummer, because you've got the big guy there the whole time going, hmm. Like, I don't know. That new album that's coming out for Foo Fighters, I presume he played the drums on that. Yeah, maybe. like i'm i i don't know that new album is coming out for foo fighters i presume he played the drums on that yeah maybe but yeah probably and this new guy seems like he's pretty good like i think he's been in heaps of he's been a session guy so he's clearly got some chops very

good technically i saw some like people responding to like a video thing that they'd done recently with him where they're like, ah, he's just making it look too easy. You know, obviously you need someone who's like skilled and technical, but you want them to look like they're, you know,

that they're fucking having a bit of a time of it up there. He's just like, seems like a bit of a robot where he's like, beep, beep, boop. Too smooth. Yeah.

Too smooth. Right. Does. Yeah. It just gets up there, thrashes it out. Yeah. But you know, well, um,. Yeah, it just gets up there, thrashes it out. Yeah. But, you know.

Well, can I... They should get that little girl. Oh, yeah. You know that little girl who went viral? Yeah, she would have been... That would be sick if they turned around... Next to the phone. Yeah, if they turned around and went,

okay, replacing Taylor Hawkins, that 12-year-old girl who does the viral drumming videos. Yeah. That Grohl's done stuff with. Yeah, yeah. Now, she would have been sitting there going, right, I'll be sad for a day about that Taylor Hawkins thing, but let's put your money where your mouth is.

Yeah. I've been hearing a lot of lip service about how I'm the world's greatest drummer and making yourself look good on viral videos. I need a part-time job. Fuck. I'm going to uni soon. I need to...

Mum and Dad aren't paying for it. Get me a job in the foo fighters that would fucking rule so hard if they had even if they just went she's gonna tour with us for like a couple of months or something yeah like turning around and going like basically like the biggest stadium rock band in the world going our new drummer is a 15 year old girl i'd love that if she just lost her mind because she thought she was owed that job right and all of a sudden you've got a 13 year old girl in the in like in the news on socials going oh great foo fighters hired another white man yeah another job goes to a white man she's off

what a great diverse band you have yeah this is a joker. She gets fucking wronged by the Fooies, and it sends her over the edge. Yeah, I'm into this. I'm into this narrative. And she just renames herself Foo, so that they're officially the Foo Fighters. They're fighting her. Yeah, nice. I am the enemy of you.

Yeah, the Foo Fighter fighter. Yes. All right, thanks. Who the fuck that was? Thanks, Leah Hardiman. Thanks, Leah. Thanks, Leah. Hey, incidentally, in the fuck that was. Thanks, Leah Hardiman. Thanks, Leah. Thanks, Leah. Hey, incidentally, in the middle of all that stuff, I wanted to say this.

We were talking about the fresh Coke. Yeah, yeah. The fresh Coke on that episode. Yep. Now, it genuinely did taste great. I don't know what you thought. It tasted fucking great, that day-old Coke. It was good.

I don't drink a lot of Coke, so I don't have the best yardstick. That's the thing. I was like, this tastes amazing, and that's when I remembered, if you listened last week, I stopped drinking Coke for like... Oh, yeah, sure. That was the first sip of Coke I'd had in a week and a half. Okay. And like we talked about last week, if I go to the pub to run a gig or I'm at a gig, I

will have three, four pints of Coke. Yep. I'm just a fucking demon for it yep so then i've been off coke for like a week and a half and then i had that one sip of fresh relapse and i was like oh my god yep this is the best now so i don't know how much it was to do with fresh the freshness and how much it was to do with my habit yep i don't know yeah so i think it was maybe a little bit in between but i did google before i was like is is fresh coke good and no one else has ever asked thought to ask that question okay so the closest i've ever got was um why mcdonald's coke tastes so much better

have you ever wondered that or have you ever thought that um not really i've i haven't wondered Or have you ever thought that? Not really. I haven't wondered. I thought it's good. But I just assumed it's like, it's post-mix, right? It's post-mix, yeah. Or post-mixes. Yeah.

Post-mix is infinitely better, I think. Yes, I agree. But I did find it interesting. They said that McDonald's chills their syrup before they put it in the machine. They actually do a fair bit of work where they make the syrup cold. They don't just chuck it in a plastic bag and just put it in the machine. They actually do a fair bit of work where they make the syrup cold. They don't just chuck it in a plastic bag and just put it in the cupboard. So that's cold. Then –

Have you ever had the Hepburn Springs Cola? No. Is that the name of the brand? There's like a bottled water that they do from out there, and they have a brand of like natural cola. And on the label of it, it's got like a little picture of like a a pump at a well and i really like that just the imagery that this like that makes me think of fresh coke it's like this coke's just being pumped out of the well yeah you know it

makes you feel like you're not drinking some chemical slop it's like oh this is from the earth yeah that's i like yeah that is a a great potential idea where you think you can just go digging for coke one day. And get a coke spring. Yeah. And bottle it yourself. Yeah. That would be great. It's just this fizzy black liquid underground somewhere.

Mm-hmm. Just like the Beverly Hillbillies. You just stick your axe in the ground somewhere and some black magic comes out. Now I'm a millionaire. Yeah. Because I've got a Coke mine. The McDonald's set their machines for a syrup to water ratio that accounts for melting ice,

which means there's a little more syrup than most other fast food restaurants. This ensures that your Coke won't water down. It's just as good on Sip 1 as it is on Sip 21. Pro tip, never order your Coke at McDonald's without ice because it will totally screw up their already perfect ratio so they pre-chill the syrup they also pre-chill the filtered water that's going into the machine there's an insulated tube that runs from the fridge to the back of the soda fountain in the front that's constantly keeping the water at a temperature just above freezing on top of that now i would love to know the scientific reasoning

behind this but they say that a big difference of it is, you know how there's always thick straws at Coke? They reckon that's part of it as well. Okay. Well, at McDonald's. Yeah. Having the thicker straws. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Interesting. I'm one for that. I'm into it because those big ass fucking straws, I love drinking Coke through them. Yeah, yeah. They're fucking great. Yeah.

I wonder how much longer we have left of them. Oh, yeah. The straws, the fucking good plastic straws, anywhere that's still doing them, their days are numbered. I've been a big fan lately when I fly of just getting a little boost smoothie before I get on the plane. Oh, yeah. And they're doing the cardboard straws and it's like,

those smoothies are so thick. It's like, this thing's a nightmare. Right. You're getting two sips out. The whole thing's disintegrated. Oh. So enjoy your,

enjoy your chunky Macca's straws while you can because I don't think they're long for this world. Well, then they're also paper at the moment. They're not. Are they?

Yeah. Okay. They're gone. Yeah, right. I don't do a lot of them these days anyway. I do, I'm a, I'm a big cup sipper, to be honest.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's like, well, the concept is it's a bigger straw, so you get more through the straw, tastes better. So I'm like, let's go straight to the well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just drink out of the big fucking huge vessel mouth. Yeah. But you're not a cop on the weekend.

First time ever. Yeah. I don't know if this is a new thing or if you've had this one. Hotel room. Cardboard card to get in. Cardboard key? Yeah. No, I've never had that.

New. How's that work? I don't know. It worked. It's still like a swipe, like touch thing? Yeah, it worked. Yeah. I mean, I guess it is just like a little chip thing.

Yeah. Whatever technology doesn't require plastic, I guess. Yeah. Okay. That's cool. Because those would, I mean, they would, yeah. Those are fucking pretty bad. Those plastic keys.

Yeah. They'd go through so many of them. Yeah. People forget to, like, you know, you don't have to, like, chuck them back into the thing. They can just print new ones. You can just walk out the door with them. Yeah. Doesn't matter.

Yeah. That was new. Yeah. Anyway. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Luke Murray. Luke Murray. Hmm. I feel like we did a, I feel like we had a Murray recently and we went on a bit of a Murray River.

We got onto a chuka. Oh, yeah. Your dad owning a venue there. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. I found this funny at work the other day. Someone had put on someone's desk a Pete Murray album. Oh, yeah. And it was just like immediately assumed that was an insult.

Like, that was a burn. Yeah. Here's your Pete Murray album. Yeah. I loved Pete Murray back in the day. I went and saw him at the Palais. I really loved that first album. I'm pretty sure I was still at school.

And I lined up next to the stage door to get a photo with him. Just imagine being like Pete Murray. You're starting to take off. You're built. You're hot. Stage door opens. You think, here we go. Here come some beautiful, buxom young ladies. There's just this 17-year-old

nerd wanting to get a photo with you on his disposable camera. Brutal. Did you look like the rest of his fan base? Was there any more of you or did you stand out? To be honest, I don't think there were too many others there. I feel like it was maybe me and then a bunch of girls. I just figured it was like if there was any guys there,

there was going to be people that just look like Owen Wilson there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of surfers. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of bleached blonde hair. Yeah, yeah. A lot of not buttoned up completely shirts.

No, I can't really recall. I can't really recall looking around the crowd and taking the temperature of what the average Pete Murray fan looked like in 2003 or 2004 when he broke out. He's one of those ones that, would you say he's one of those ones that had those couple of big albums and then just sort of all of a sudden you're 20 years later going, yeah, what happened? What's happened with him for the last 20 years?

Yeah, I guess he's like, he's still putting stuff out and touring. He's a bit like, you know, that guy josh pike similar kind of thing like yeah never quite goes massive but still there's like enough people that know the name that are gonna see him pop up at the rsl and be like yeah why not just inspired a million cunts at fucking campfires with acoustic guitars yeah it's good absolutely yeah one a real a real one of them a real piece of shit in history, really. Yeah. Yeah. Let's get him.

Just to blame. Yeah. To blame for all that bullshit. Never rooted Pamela Anderson. No. That's for damn sure. My God. Well, I mean, he may have.

I've got him. That could be a hidden... That's an interesting thought exercise. It's like the number of celeb hookups that must have happened that you that we'll never find out about yeah well i mean he's not that far from uh you know he's a very beachy surfery vibe and maybe the most famous surfer of all time kelly slater yep absolutely uh had a relationship with pamela anderson so really okay yeah absolutely yeah broke uh in. Yeah. In the Netflix doco that I have not finished, it's still on my favorites list or to-do list. Yep.

It's well-documented in there. Yeah, right. Well, it's a documentary. You would hope so. That's why it was so well-documented. They know what they're doing. This was the one that, that doco is the one that's like her response to the series, right?

That's her going like, oh, well. It's a reason for it. If this is out there, then I want to kind of get my version out. Yeah. It's a bit of, as much as a fan I am of her, it's a bit of like, hey, I'm not just someone that's sex tape. I'm a deep thinker. You know, a person who married Tommy Lee, a dumbass drummer in Motley Crue, and then married Kid Rock,

one of the dumbest cunts to have ever lived. Man, oh man. There's a Dolly Parton album coming out soon. She's got a new album coming out called Rockstar. Oh yeah, she's doing a rock star. It's her first rock album. Her first rock album just after she's been inducted into the rock and roll. It's great. rock album. Her first rock album just after she's been inducted into the rock and roll.

It's great. But it's crazy. It's like all these covers with the original person doing the cover with her. She's doing Every Breath You Take with Sting. It's just all that kind of stuff. She's doing a Beatles song with Paul and Ringo. Really? Yeah.

With both of them? Yeah. I've got to look this up. A couple of originals in the mix, but it sounds cool. But then you sort of look at it and it's like, this is just an incredible lineup of people. Like, there's her doing Stairway to Heaven with Lizzo playing the flute. You know, it's a lot of this stuff that sounds like it could be cool. But then she's got a song on there with Kid Rock and it's like,

oh, God damn it. Oh, God. Oh, man. You're fucking... You're correct. Yeah. It's just stacked. They do Let It Be with...

She does Let It Be with Paul and Ringo. Yeah. Fuck, I wonder if they're in the same room and they recorded it. That's crazy. This sounds like it'll be a fun listen. Oh, okay. That's interesting. Final track of the album, Freebird.

She's got Paul and Ringo, and then she's calling her boobs John and George, just for the track. There you go. So the four are reunited. Yeah, nice. Yeah. That's cool. Yes, thank you. She's the Pammy of her day, really.

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. She walked so that Pammy could run on the beach. Yep. Yep. Thanks, Luke Murray. Thanks, Luke. Let's just do one more.

We've done a double shift. You've done a day's worth of talking. I am dying. It's five o'clock. Yep. The sun is descending. It's not helping your case in any way. There's no lights on in here.

Well, it was a bright, shiny day when we started. It was daylight when I turned up. We're doing back-to-back talking dum-dums. And I think we've done a good job. We have done a good job. In spite of, yeah, early start, basically no sleep. Yeah. A lot of content today.

I'm proud of us. Yes. Good job. Good good job both of us um all right let's just do the last one this last one for this week thank you very much for the fifth cab off the rink this week thank you very much to pamela lee comedy wow yeah that's great isn't it yeah she she's rumored this has got to be like the eighth or ninth time she's subscribed, I reckon. No. No way.

She's rumoured to have, the cool thing about her is she's rumoured to have had sex with a listener of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Oh, really? That's her claim to fame. Yeah, right. What's the listener's name? Matt Eva's Comedy. Oh, Matt Eva's Comedy. Right, right, right.

Which is weird to have an affair with someone with the same last name as you. That is weird. Yeah. Well, it's only a rumor. Yes, exactly. Hopefully it's not true because that's disgusting. Exactly. Yeah.

Incest is not funny. As we learned a couple of weeks ago. All right, guys. As our Rosenbucks might say. Thank you for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.