The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 671 - Brett Blake & Mike Goldstein

Episode Date: August 16, 2023

This week we're joined by BRETT BLAKE and MIKE GOLDSTEIN for a Pre Nick Capper's Wedding Blowout! Brett's just been in Perth and had one of the all-time great heckles and come back to Melbourne just in time to organise Capper's bucks. We dive into all the details from the day including the MC getting sick, Tommy mastering the mechanical bull, our flagrant disregard for Brett's "no phones" policy, and one of the performers using the bathroom for something inappropriate. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Brett Blake and Mike Goldstein. Speaking of Perth comedians, we are going to be going over there and doing a live podcast Saturday, November the 4th at Linot's Lounge. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for tickets to that. Get around it. It's in Northbridge. It's where we did a live podcast about maybe five or six years ago. Yeah, and four venue names ago.

Yes. But that space. And the night before, I'm doing my solo show, Scam Artist at the Oasis Comedy Club. That's November the 3rd. But, yeah, littledumbdumbclub.com. Get your tickets. We'll see you there in Perth.

Great. Enjoy. Great guests confirmed. Yes. Yeah. Correct. Yes. And great guests on this episode.

Yes. From Perth. Enjoy this new episode with Brett Blake and Mike Goldstein. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow. And with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler.

G'day, Dickhead. And joining us today, two very special guests for our pre-Nick Capper wedding blowout. Please welcome back onto the show, Brett Blank and Mike Goldstein. Two titans of Perth. Oh, yeah. Perth comedy.

Yeah. Look, we did it. We made it out. We made it out we made it out we're here we're on the dum-dum club you gotta move

to Melbourne man they've got these things called podcasts we've really plateaued oh my god that is the reason

why we think of Perth comedy as being so bad is because all the good ones keep fucking moving away that's it

it's your fault Perth comedy is so bad. I was having a look through the stories of the main or one of the main comedy clubs in Perth this morning actually and it is the closest you can come in Australia to looking at an account from a comedy club in another country. You know, like any other city in Australia,

you're like, oh, that name's kind of familiar or that person's told me about that person from when they went up to Brisbane or that person's been down. WA, it's like, who the hell are all these people? It is. And you guys know you're allowed to book girls now, don't you? Fuck, that's rich.

I know, I know. All right. Fucking hell. What is it, a pot in the kettle or some shit? Hey, you've got long hair. I'm counting you as one. Oh, okay. Carl makes me tuck in.

Oh, yeah. He tucks back. He goes for a Buffalo Bill. I was at the Great State. I was actually doing a gig at Perth Comedy Club. Great venue. You were just there this weekend. I was just there, and I got a classic Perth heckle.

So I'm about to get into the bit about the sex shop, and I start it by saying, hey, guys, I'm going to open up and share something with you. And as I say that on stage, a lady just at the back goes, gay! Yeah, right, I take it all back. Thanks, Mom. Yeah.

Of course I said, thanks, Mom. It just annihilated The audience loved it They were like That's great That is comedy I'm gonna share something Gay A man expressing his feeling

Gay And I just said Fuck it is good to be home Oh yeah Yeah Did you I reckon you dropped a slur Back at them

Oh no I actually was For once I didn't have anything to say because I was too busy laughing. Yeah, right. It is good. It's the only time I enjoyed the spot.

I was like, this is actually a good heckle. Yeah, yeah. Thank you very much. You're like just a bit pissed off. I wish I had thought of that. Yeah, yeah. It's great that you're like, I'm going to share something with you, not even in a way where I'm like opening up and sharing my feelings.

You mean it in the context of literally I'm going to tell you something. Yeah. And also, I'm going to tell you something. And also I'm going to tell you something about fucking a sex robot. Please don't disrespect my art. Hey guys, I got a little piece of information for you. Gay!

Six o'clock, here's the news. Gay! This just in, Brad's gay. Oh, the great state Alright I take it all back Yeah Now I know why the comedy

Is the way it is Because the audience Inspires it Yeah I was doing a gig The other night And I did this line That I have about a friend

Saying that I look Like a cross between A pedophile And one of his victims And gets a laugh And then this guy In the third row goes Are you okay?

And I'm like Well man I man, I'm doing this. So no. Well, see, that's a heckle in Melbourne. Are you okay? But in Perth, it's like, you're gay. There we go. You dare show any feeling. Just getting heckled with a number for Beyond Blue.

That would be cool. Instead of having all the states have their own flowers or whatever to differentiate the states and whatever all their own mottos on the number plates that should be that

yeah yeah yeah these are the heckles you get in different states Perth gay Victoria are you okay Victoria has an

are you okay day Perth has an are you gay day don't forget to check in with your friends on this are you gay day if Don't forget to check in with your friends on this are you gay day. If they send you a message about their feelings, don't forget to write back.

Are you gay? Yes. And they come around and bash you. Boy, we're really tapping into something that's just bubbling away underneath the surface with all of us. Right in our hitting zone. Thank you to Perth.

Well, speaking of comedy, just up to the top, we can go on to things that other people give a fuck about back home. But Basement Comedy Club has reopened. Now it has been

completely redesigned and everything. It's been flipped around. There's like a fake brick wall, like a proper, you know, like a New York comedy

club or whatever. Fake brick is so fun. Oh, man. As soon as I touched it, I was like, this is shit ass. But it looks good. But as soon as you touched it I was like this is shit ass but it looks good but as soon as you touch it

you can really see the heart everyone's opener for the last month has been to get up and go wow is this real brick touch it's not real brick everyone

everyone goes we don't care we're hearing this every week so what I love is that they've gone oh right what would make it comedy so you know

they've googled googled image the first thing that comes up is a brick wall for the background yep okay cool that they've gone, all right, what would make it comedy? So they've Googled image. The first thing that comes up is a brick wall for the background. Yep. Okay, cool. So they've done that. And then I'm looking around the room going, fuck, what else have they done? They're putting little touches.

Now, have you been to the bathroom in Basin Comedy Club? No. Oh, where my poster was previously. Well, your poster used to be in the cubicle. Yes. In the cubicle, but not in there. So you go to the bathroom, but you open the first door, and then you get to choose between the men and the ladies' toilets, right?

Which choice do you make, Carl? Oh, no. I'm a girl. That's bad. Perth comedy again. It's got me. It's got me. Are you a woman, Dave?

So when you go in there, they've got like, you know, like in Tommy's room here, a bit of framed stuff on the walls. So when you go into the waiting room of the toilets, they've got a comedy themed. The waiting room. Yeah. The shitter will see you now. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, the foyer of the crapper. Yeah, yeah. The magazines are always out of date. Chance to the concier Dunning The Dunning reception So I've already told you this Tommy But there's In the Dunning reception There's one framed picture on the wall

Now it's Comedy Club It's a new one It's been brought up just for that Who is the picture of? Oh I think I know Do you? Yeah Do you want to have a guess before

Brett has a guess? I can't tell if you told me or whether it's just, if I'm remembering you telling me, it's just whether my head would go immediately. Because it's just a great choice. It's not my choice. I reckon if you just made a stab in the dark, and you were trying to be funny,

there's a big chance you'd land on this. This is like a comedy writer has come up with this. It's a stand-up comedy club. Who is there a framed picture of and it's okay carrot top or something no that's now that's good yeah that's good that literally makes more sense than what you're about to hear right do you have a guess i think i know i don't want to ruin it all right and you know who it is i think i know who it is one more guess i don't know if I'm like Mandela affecting myself.

Is it Nelson Mandela? I mean, that's way off base. It's like when he was still in jail. Is it someone who's been cancelled? Is it like a Louis C.K.? Or is it? You're getting closer. Okay.

That's pretty good. Cosby. I kind of think this getting closer. Okay. That's pretty good. Cosby. Yeah. I kind of think this is better. Okay. That's great if they're like, everyone keeps making fun of the fake brick wall. We've got to strip it off and just have Bill Cosby wallpaper just behind the stage.

Fuck. All right, but Ralph Harris. No, no, you're skirting around it. Am I? Yeah. Do you want me to tell you? Yeah. Do you know? to tell you? Yeah. Do you know it?

Is it Kramer? It's Kramer. It's Kramer. Yeah, it's Kramer. Technically not cancelled, I guess. No. But yeah, cancelled adjacent. Well, he never ever got a job ever again after he did it.

If you look at his IMDb, there is like two gigs after he was famously sort of, well, it wasn't cancelling back then, but said the N word on stage at the Laugh Factory, it wasn't known for stand-up really before that, known for the character did the one, literally the one stand-up gig, like you could say to me or say to any of you guys I reckon, he only ever did one gig and you'd go, yeah that's fair enough and that's the one gig. And just the unlucky

like pre the culture of like people filming everything, you know it's just like one guy on this shit phone you know what I mean, it's not like one guy on this shit phone. You know what I mean? It's not like everyone had their phones out. Like if that happened now. I know a place he'd be perfectly comfortable to say that word all the time. It's called the Perth...

No. Well, a Perth comedy room opened up and their cocktail list is all like named after comedians. And no shit, one of the drinks is the Kramer Negroni. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

I'm tipping no one's ordering the Cosby hot chocolate. Man, I had one of the Cosbys and I just woke up. Yeah, that was a great gig last night. That was two weeks ago. Kramer going on that rant in Perth and someone in the audience, gay, still too woke for Perth. Come on. Come on, Kramer.

Turn the heat up a little bit. Really give it to him. We don't call him that over here. We call him a different slur. We've got our own one. We invented a new one. So what? People go in and it's like,

but is it, so it's a photo, it's like a picture of the character. What is it? It's that famous merger. The fake, like the painting of him from the show. That's cool. He's's like a picture of the character. What is it? It's that famous merger. The fake painting of him from the show. That's cool. It's got like a little frame around it or something.

Yeah, that rocks. And so they've bought that poster, gotten it framed, and that's hanging in the walkway in the toilets. It's the classic 1996, like, TAFE student fucking bedroom just moved out of a house, put that on the back of the bedroom door. Yeah, it's that. It's Bill Murray in the living room, and that's the only decorations out of a house. Put that on the back of the bedroom door. Yeah, it's that. It's Bill Murray in the living room.

And that's the only decorations in the whole house. Yeah, that's so good. Maybe a John Belushi college sweater t-shirt, right? That's as hacky and old as a reference. Maybe that's an American thing. Oh, you don't know that? No. I would have thought you would have been making the choice

between that and the Pulp Fiction movie poster. Oh, yeah. Or you could have like a Scarface poster. In a comedy club. Say hello to my little friend. Comedy. Bob Marley just having a spliff. You're like, that's comedy.

I love this theme for a comedy club. It's just like, yeah, uni student bedroom comedy. It's all black lights. So it's all just like... The stage is just a pile of milk crates that you're standing on yeah yeah yeah so you said anything to the venue what am i gonna say well i don't know how'd you arrive at whose whose call was kramer no you don't want to like you don't want to like get involved and get it replaced you're happy for to be kramer i'd rather

talk about it right now i don't like. Honestly, when it all got redesigned, I put in several requests and went, these are hard must-dos. These are the things that must happen. And they're like,

okay. And I went back again and went, again, just to reiterate, are we agreeing on this? They must happen. And they go,

absolutely. And then I walked in first day, absolutely not. So there's no way I'm getting any... There's no way you're getting a Kramer poster. I know what easier things to do

than take down a Kramer poster. Was one of the requests putting a fucking couch in the green room? There's still no backstage. There is. There's two freezers, and then there's a big wooden thing that hides a puddle, and then the... No, no, no, no. It doesn't hide a puddle. It doesn't hide a puddle.

It hides a hole that goes to the centre of the earth. Oh, true. There is a pit back there. There's a pit. Yeah. There's a hole that goes to the center of the earth. Oh, true. There is a pit back there. There's a pit. There's a pit. And then the pump just goes. Oh, God, I feel important. Whose idea was the laughs in neon lights on the windows?

Nothing was my idea. Okay. Nothing was my idea. I fought against basically everything. Anything that you like in there, I can't even claim credit for. There's nothing to do with me. Yeah. I fought against all of it and then people came in and went,

I really like all this stuff. I'm like, fuck. I wanted you to be on my side. Because I walked by there the other day and I saw the foot level windows walking by the venue. It's laughs and neon red. It's a reminder. Yeah, it's a reminder, but it's also like like neon red. And I was like, yeah, it's a reminder

but it's also like going because it's into a base, like a literal basement but you put laughs, it's like, they're hiding something down there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a fuck dungeon.

Nothing to see here comedy. Yeah. You need the big like studio audience style like light up applause sign. If you're going to have lights, you're going to have lit up stuff. Dude, they wanted to do that. Yeah. I think that's one thing I stopped them doing. audience style like light up applause sign if you're gonna have lights you're gonna have lit up stuff dude

they wanted to do that I think that's one thing I stopped them doing they wanted to have a big applause sign I'm like it's not a recording

of Everybody Loves Raymond it's stand up comedy you don't need an applause sign I might try and get a job at this venue I've got some good ideas I love how they're still

like applause sign but no couches in the green rooms there is there is seats in there oh my last time I got told off by the chef because I was like I've had this deal, like, applause sign, but no couches in the green rooms. There is. There is. Still. There is seats in there. Oh, my. Last time I got told off by the chef because I left something on the freezer

and he was trying to get something out to defrost it. I was like, yeah, sorry, mate. Yeah, sorry. There's a lot of time Archibarker gets told to fuck off because someone needs some frozen peas. Fucking hell. Yeah. So Kramer posted there to stay.

Yeah. And there's no other, like, and that's the only, like, thing of that nature. Fucking hell So Kramer poster there to stay Yeah And no And there's no other like And that's the only like It's Thing of that nature They've got a They've got a comedy

Another comedy themed Framed poster On the other side of the venue Outside of the venue But the thing is that No Like No one goes in that bit

It's like this comedy Yeah yeah okay But it's a bit that you can't Have access to So there's no use And what it is Is a picture Of like the comedy store In LA It's like the comedy sort of poster. But it's a bit that you can't have access to, so there's no use. And what it is is a picture of the comedy store in LA. It's like the marquee style, you know, who's on that night. It's like, cool, so we've got a picture of that.

We just don't have a marquee ourselves that says who's on tonight. There's literally no sign in. Oh, damn, a marquee would be great. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the big question is, is the photo of Brett Blake still in the shitter? It was for a long time. Did the big question is, is the photo of Brett Blake still in the shitter? It was for a long time. Did the construction have to work around the photo of Brett Blake?

That's why it took so long. We took another four weeks to get rid of that picture. Well, it's load-bearing. It was a load-bearing poster. It really was because you and the dunny. What did they do with it? They went and shoved it in the pit in the green room. He's in the freezer. I'm in the freezer. That saved some lives went and shoved it in the pit in the green room. He's in the freezer.

I'm in the freezer. That saved some lives. They put it down the pit. Someone, Rowe fell down it, didn't die because of your poster. I was actually hoping they would actually do a nice framed one for me in the bathroom, but that didn't happen. So anyway, what do you do? I'll put in the request.

It'll go in with it. All the other requests, absolutely ignored. Yeah, I want to try and get a job for this company and then just like I outrank you in terms of interior design at your comedy club. You would. What would you put up? Big poster of Mario here now.

I just turn it into an offshoot of this room. Yeah, you just charge like triple what you paid for any of your toys and all of a sudden you're all in here. It's like, why is Miss Pac-Man on stage every night? Anyway, so Cabba's wedding is coming up in what? What is it, tomorrow? It's tomorrow. Tomorrow.

24 hours time. Oh, my God. Fucking legless. We're two days gone from the bigger event, of course, the thing that we were looking forward to. At least me and you told me way more than the actual wedding, which was the Bucks party. I'm still recovering, man.

I got pegged by the stripper, and the stripper was Nick Carr. I'd pause there for all our Perth audience to yell out in that story. Well, certainly had bigger tits than anyone else that you could write that night. He definitely did. We paid him to put it away. He goes, am I

going to cop shit if I do this? And I was like, probably. So, I mean, it's legit. We can get to that part of the night, I guess, but he legit came out and did a little dance. Yeah, I bought him a Marilyn Monroe outfit because the – We didn't have – So for context, you're the best man at the wedding.

Yes. And you were in charge of organizing the bucks. Yes, I think that's my specialty. So I organized the bucks party. We had a little bar set up. He always wanted to have a tiki bar called Jam Bar. We came up one time at Meredith Music Festival. So I made Jam Bar for him. We had a little bar set up. He always wanted to have a tiki bar called Jam Bar. We came up one time at Meredith Music Festival, so I made Jam Bar for him.

We had a barking bull. We had ice hockey, beer pong. It was an interesting theme thing where we're sitting here trying to figure out the thing because it's like, last minute, come in Hawaiian shirts. There's a tiki bar there. I'm like, okay, I get it. Then you look around and go, there's a barking bull.

There's dirt bikes on a DVD there's a Crusty Demons DVD on repeat there's topless waitresses it's like what is the theme here Brett Blake's mind welcome to a day

inside of my mind yeah that's exactly what it was the dumb thing was because my missus goes have you got any props to make it look like a party or whatever

I was like oh we've got Crusty Demons just playing on the background and she goes you need to go and get some balloons so it looks like an party or whatever. I was like, oh, we've got Krusty Demons just playing on the background. And she goes, you need to go and get some balloons so it looks like an event or something. And I went, oh, okay. And then, which was the dumbest idea, sending someone with ADHD to go get party supplies.

And next thing I know, I'm just handing over $900 to a fucking lady. What? Yeah, it really blew out. God, they saw you coming at Arthur Daylings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we'd they saw you coming at Arthur Daylings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we'd already gone over budget. Those better be some hot potatoes you got.

We were already like $1,000 over budget or something. Who's the stripper? A little lady called Uncle Buck. But it was all worth it in the end, I think. It was a great party. Yeah. But like you said, it was a thing where it was like, you look around and go, oh, this is Nick Cappers-Barks.

Or has Blakey really quickly proposed and co-opted this for him? Is he getting married? Yeah. Have I gone back in time to Brett's 21st? Yeah. It was in a band room in the back of a pub. You had decked it out. And when I walked in and I saw one of the skimpies on the mechanical bull

and her tits were swinging around, my first thought was, take that, Barbie movie. We were due a win, weren't we, fellas? And the soundtrack the whole night was like, you know, Iron Maiden or Black Sabbath and stuff. I'm like, I've never heard Nick Cabot play any of these songs. I'm not listening to fucking Wayne. No, no, I know.

I put on the body, I choose the list. I know. I think I looked... Well, I'm not listening to fucking Ween. No, no, I know. I put on the party. I choose the list. I know. I think I looked through the iPod at one point and it just says Brett's Fernwood playlist. So...

Look, I had a good time. You did a great job. Man, it was great. It was so good. You were emceeing basically the Mechanical Bull contest. You were like

getting people up one by one to get on the mechanical bull. And some would say I was actively bullying the whole crowd. I think everyone would say that, not some. Well, it comes full circle because I didn't want to do the bull because I got a fucked up rib at the moment. And you yelled gay at me from across the room.

No, that was that lady from there. He sold that. What a hack. Yeah, that's not my from there He sold that What a hack Yeah, that's not my gear I can't get in trouble for saying it Someone else is Yeah, he's quoting someone Yes

I was on the I was on the mechanical bull at one point Yeah And I got like a minute 20 You did really good I'm doing great And I like I love the idea

That everyone's just got some like Extraordinary hidden talent That they don't know about. You know, you just unearth it like 40. Like I was thinking, imagine just me on the mechanical bull for like ages. And then people are Googling like world record mechanical bull and I've like doubled it. And then it's like Guinness or actually you have time to fly over and turn up.

It's like I wake up the next day. I'm like, this is a whole new life for me now. So I go good and I'm like pretty pumped and you're like, okay, Tommy Dasolo, that's the new record, a minute 20, that's the record to beat. No one let me forget that. Literally the next person gets on, gets 25 seconds and you go, a new record.

That was so good. I was next to Tommy and he's like, what the fuck? I just did this. And I'm like, I've never seen Tommy Dastley be competitive about anything because the most I've ever seen him care about of all time. It gets to the person that won, got 45 seconds, and you're like, yeah, this is the victor. And I'm like, well, what do you do here?

You can't go and get mad because then it's like you just look pathetic if you're like, I actually did a minute 20. I did way longer than that. Yeah, but it's also style, grace. It's not just a time-based comment. Yeah, when you were on, I did see the mechanical bull operator go and take a piss for a minute 20. So, yeah, you were just hanging on to a prone bull. Oh, yeah, that's true.

Yeah, I did like... You're just clenching for dear life and stop moving. Well, two things. The mechanical bull operator Was on crutches That was a nice touch You don't have to tell me I had to get the fucking Mechanical bull out of the van

For him I paid this kind of grand And he rocks up with crutches I'm like oh good I can't wait to do my back now Sign of a good mechanical bull By the way Oh yeah

And then he goes Oh last week He goes how hard do you want me to go Because last week I broke someone's back Fuck And I was like well Not that hard because I don't have insurance. Yeah, you go, all right, everyone, when you get on,

you've got to take your shoes off because last week someone was riding this in shoes and they broke their back. And we're like, I don't know if the shoes would have been here. Let's not blame it all on Nike. He was also hobbling around the party asking people if they had drugs. Yeah. Wait, hang on. The carny was doing this? Who would have thought? He was also hobbling around the party asking people if they had drugs. Yeah. What? Yeah. Wait, hang on.

The carny was doing this? Who would have thought? Also, he had a fair nudge of that bar tab as well. That's awesome. That fucking rules. This guy's my hero. And the other thing was that we were really pissed off about it because one of your rules at the start was no one's on their phone or I'm chucking the phone in the toilet and we're going, fuck, we want to be on our phones and we're watching the mechanical bull guy

just scrolling through Instagram. Fuck, must be nice. of his life, yeah. Mate, there has to be certain rules in place and that was one of them

and we're abided by it. Did you enforce that at all? I didn't really see anyone on the phone. I wanted you to bring out the yonder bags that they have at like a Chris Rock concert.

There was other things that day that were meant to happen and then they didn't happen so so they were the main phony. Oh, yeah. Like what? No. No. You can't get in trouble for something that didn't happen.

True. No, no, no, no, no. Because we were drip fed some details about the itinerary for the day. Yes. That I don't think, I think almost none of them came to fruition. Well, how late was the mechanical bull booked? Because I hadn't heard anything about that in a while. I'll tell you what you're trying to get at.

I hired an MC for the evening because I knew I'd get stuck doing the mechanical bull stuff and whatever. Yes. So I hired a guy who's a Bucks party MC. Okay. I get a hold of him and I start chatting to him and he goes, I've got one rule though. My only rule is I can't be picked up.

And I was like, what the fuck is, how is that a rule for a grown ass man? And then I look more on his website and he's a little fella. Okay. He's a dwarf. He's a dwarf. So who happens to be the MC? And then, yeah, He's a dwarf. So who happens to be the MC? And then, yeah, that's the... You're telling me that fact wasn't first and foremost on his...

No, no, I looked on the website. Have you ever heard of the term reverse engineer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then he had a very good sense of humour, and he said, what do you want me to come dressed up as? And I said, look, I've got Kappa in outfit. And we've dressed... So this makes sense.

Okay, right. Because we saw him dressed up in this weird outfit and it's like, what's the context here? So the outfit was Jared from Subway. Right. Oh, and the... Actually, we've got a picture of him on the wall of Basement Comedy Club.

And the little guys Went to be one of his victims Well Oh my god Well Oh my god Perth Perth

It was a good day But already It could have been So much better I said I'm gonna Dress up Kappa As Jared from Subway

Ha ha ha He's a pedophile Yeah And then I handcuffed So much better. I said, I'm going to dress up Kappa as Jared from Subway. Ha, ha, ha. He's a pedophile. Yes. And then I handcuffed a baby to him, which I thought was funny. So he was going to dress as a baby? Yeah. But no, no, no.

This guy then. Oh, you were going to handcuff him like a doll? I told him the idea, and he said he might rock up in a kid's outfit or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. Well, to be fair fair he would have dressed in that anyway but yeah he was gonna have a big lollipop and stuff a little propeller hat yeah i just said go go crazy with your imagination great great what i did love about all this idea is that i heard that there was a there was someone protesting once the email went out. But it was funny to protest because when I called the guy,

I said, this is, we've just hired a guy. No, but that's what I love. I love this idea that someone was protesting going, you know, it's this year, you can't have someone that small as an entertainment or whatever. But we didn't know. No, but I'm saying, but what I love was your spin, which was, it turned from someone protesting to you going,

well, actually, we've just hired someone as an MC. They just happen to be small and if you want to take work away from someone who just happens to be that small, I mean, that's on you and it's like,

you motherfucker, you fucking stitch this cunt up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, the great legal mind of Brett Blake. It turns the gas on when it's in trouble. Yeah, this is a guy

that's got out of fucking 47 traffic tickets. Yeah, that's real fight or flight. That's what he does on his website when it's in trouble. No worries. Yeah, this is a guy that's got out of fucking 47 traffic tickets. Yeah, that's real fight or flight. That's what he does on his website. He's an MC and he does events and his main thing is Bucks Party. And I was like, man, I'm just going to hire the dude. But you told him to dress like a little kid. No, no, I told him what the idea was and he said, I'm going to dress up like a kid.

I was like, okay, I'm not going to say no to that. That's hilarious. You can't tell someone what to do. Aren't there pictures on this website? Well, on his website. But not to scale. Sure. You can't really tell anyway.

I thought he'd actually turned up at one point, but then I realised it was just Goldstein at the other end of the room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All his photos on his website are him in front of the big prawn. And everyone looks small there. It's hard to tell. It's hard to tell. Is the prawn big or...

Yeah. Yeah. But either way, he couldn't come because he had the Ronnie. Oh, really? He got corona. He got corona. He was sick the day before and I just gave him a call. And plus, you know, there was a little bit of heat as well.

So there we go. Didn't you say, wasn't it something like he was like, oh, I'm sick. I can only come for like half of it. He goes, I can come for an hour. Which then you said. Well, he's coming for half of it either way. Yeah. Thank you for that.

Hey, I didn't want to steal your gear. Tommy, why don't you go lie under that bus? It looks really comfortable. If it's funny, it's funny. So what, he could only do an hour? He said, I'll come for an hour. I was like, I'll come for an hour, but I'm sick. With COVID.

It's so good. I'll only infect half of you. Yeah, exactly. Well, he's socially distancing just by how high off the ground he is. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, I'm going to get cancer. Oh, boy.

Thank God there were no phones at this event. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. It didn't happen. You can't get in trouble. It didn't happen. It's like attempted murder. You can't get charged for that.

Yeah. No. We all know that. We all know that. We all know that. Of course. I think. But what I love is, so he's out. So he's, yeah.

He's out. He's out. So who's in? Last minute, late cancellation. Who's the replacement? 48 hours out, you lose the- 48 hours, you know, the man, the myth, the legend. I was like, who else are we going to get?

What else? And you've lost the MC and that's crucial well then I had to MC but just to take it back do you think he made up that he had COVID and he just bailed on the day because he's like

putting on a propeller hat and he's got a big fucking lollipop and he's like what am I doing with my life? I wouldn't be doing that every Saturday yeah but

also since then the idea had changed that that wasn't going to happen and he was just going to be a security guard. And he's just emceeing. I don't know. He just came up with all these ideas for outfits that he normally wears at Bucks parties. So he's got a whole list of shirts.

He's got a whole thing that he's stick ready to go. And he also, the other thing I liked on his website, he's like, man, I do this all the time. And I just bully the Buck all day. I ruin their day. I was like, great. So he's just going to get up there and roast Kappa. So I was a big fan of that this guy does this for a living

so anyone that says oh I can't believe you got this guy is like it's his fucking job he's loving it I googled Bucks Party MC

and he was the first person that came up oh really did MC stand for midget child been trying to put together one of them for about

20 minutes now. Mini something. So he's out of the picture. He's got corona. Now you replace him with friend of the show. Nicker. Nicker. So you've gone from mini me to maxi me.

Here we go. Yes. Get in my belly. So I found an XL Marilyn Monroe outfit. Yep. Wow. And then you made it way bigger? I had to get three of them and sew them together.

Trying to find a Marilyn Monroe costume down at Raised Hen City. This is the good old days. Yeah, it really is. It really is. God, we would have all thrived in the 90s. Let's put this in a time capsule and send it back in time. Send it backwards, yeah. Well, time's cyclical.

Maybe when it comes back around, this will kill. Yeah, I left Perth a month ago, but somehow I feel like I'm still here. You brought it with you. I brought it with you. I brought it with me to this room right now. So Marilyn Monroe outfit and then he did a bit of... He did a bit of the dancing and so did Caitlin's brother jumped in as well. The bride's brother. Bride's brother-in-law.

So, yeah. But there's... Capra had not a blindfold, but they put a towel over his head. Yeah, I didn't really think about that last bit. I was kind of maggoted and off my fucking head by that stage. But he's still there in a, he's there in like a shirt and shorts combo that's like got the Subway logo printed all over it. It says Jared and then on the back it says Eat Fresh.

I did enjoy that still going ahead. No context for it. So clearly that was designed and made like a month ago. That was already locked in. But no, that's fair because your comic mind would have looked at that and gone, oh, the baby's not here anymore, but he's still a pedophile. That's still funny. It's still funny.

Well, I just wanted to do something that would annoy him because he told me once that for his mate's Bucks party, you know, like the old thing, like, oh, yeah, the old ball and chain. They got an actual ball and chain and put it to his leg and the thing weighed like 60 kilos. And the guy was just carrying around this big lead weight all day. That's good. And it ruined his day.

And I was like, fuck, yeah. So whatever I could do to ruin it. I was trying to get a doll baby that just cried all day, but I couldn't find that And it was like 200 bucks And it was the one That pissed itself or whatever

So I was like This is too hard Can you get a doll That pisses herself Yeah yeah yeah Wow Yeah I went on a deep dive I know everything about dolls now

Right right So what did Do you mind if we ask What did you spend on this day All up Um I haven't really looked But it's

It would be well and truly in the thousands oh yeah it'd be close to five grand whoa fuck fuck

if you look at the bar tab yeah you look at you know food for the day six hundred yeah the barking bulls

a grand and a bit each of the topless people it was meant to be one guy one girl the guy didn't rock up yeah so the guy just didn't show up. Let's get into that.

Let's get into that. So there was a guy and a girl. There's guys and girls at this Bucks party as well. So I wanted to make sure there was entertainment for everybody. So it wasn't grabby or whatever. Exactly. You didn't want it to be dodgy. Didn't want it to be dodgy.

You're an equal opportunity employer. Yes, exactly. I had a diverse lineup. Cool people, short people. Yes. I don't see... All white, but never mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's true. That's on camera. I have my limits. They call me the Kramer of bus parties. So these poor, topless women I've never seen. I've never seen two women look more bored in my life. At one point, one of them was walking around picking up empties. I was like, you don't work here.

She was like, I just want something to do. They didn't have much to play with. They were dealing with us, a bunch of dorks. Most comedians with autism at the fucking gig are like, I've never seen tits before. What do I do? And then Milan's like a fucking hurricane around them.

Well, I saw one of them playing air hockey with, I think, Milan. And I was like, oh, air hockey naked is bad naked, dude. Because it's just like her one tit was like hitting herself in the face. It was just like, oh, God. So I organized male and female topless waiters. And the idea was they would be handing out drinks and food. You know, that's what they eat. But then The guy

The lady goes Oh I'm here And I said Oh I don't think I organised you I was meant to have a guy And she goes Oh

I'm the replacement How does that work? Exactly I was like How does that A guy pulls out Is there only like One guy at this

At this Place where You got them from Yeah So Five Yeah five It's a small team

Yeah And look It was like 20 chicks I'm just observing What happened But She got He got replaced place where he got them from. on the website. Five. Yeah, five. It's a small team. Yeah. And look, there's like 20 chicks. I'm just observing what happened, but he got replaced by a girl who was not topless. Well, she couldn't be topless.

Why? Because she just got surgery. Oh, really? That's why she couldn't ride the bucking bull because she just got her breast implants removed. Oh, what?

Yeah, yeah. I know, I said this to someone and someone came up and gave me their full life story. I was like, someone's trying to get a root here. And she's like, actually, she just went through surgery last week. I was like, oh, I don't know. Yeah, once again, I thought it was a dude. Wow, there's a lot going on behind the scenes of a Bucks party.

We can't give you the guy, but we can give you a woman who's got no breasts from a moon. Yes! Is that good? That's close. She got them taken out just for the gig because they'd hired a guy. I don't think we've... We haven't given this context yet, but for the male stripper to all of a sudden be like,

oh, I can't make it. It was at 4pm on a Wednesday. What's your double booking as a male stripper at that time that's clashing and I did like that you're booking a male stripper for the two girls that were there so like we got to share one girl between 50 and then two girls got one that's a great ratio

it's not bad but then I just made Ben Nighttag his top off for a little while and that kind of made everything that was good on the fly but then also car stri've got to improv. Car stripping, to take it back to that, he got weirdly shy and self-conscious

in the middle of this. Well, Car didn't want to strip. I had to, because what... Did Car look at the other female stripper and go, fuck, I should get him taken out as well? So, Car,

he didn't want to do it at all. I'm exhausted. It's only been half an hour He has a bad reputation apparently in Brisbane Of getting up on stage, taking his shirt off, sculling beers And doing his material Doing his material He wants to kind of rebrand himself And he was worried that Carl wouldn't book him in the future

If he did do this So then I had to ring Carl and bully Carl into making sure that Nick Carr got on next time. I've never heard Brett Blake so nice to me on a phone before. No. It was amazing. As soon as he did it, it actually sent chills down my spine. I'm like, oh my God, he wants to kill my daughter. Something really bad's happened.

Something really bad's about to happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've run over my wife. No worse. Nick Carr's about to get naked.'ve run over my wife. No worse. Nick Carr's about to get naked. You'll wish those two things had happened. Yeah, but I could see it in his eyes when he started to do the lap dance on capper or whatever.

He was like all of a sudden embarrassed. And I'm like, you got this far, cunt. You know what I mean? No, no, no. It was like, oh, no, under no condition. And it had to be This big negotiation That he did that It was like

Meanwhile two hours before He took his top off To get on the buck and bull I was like Hang on Why did he do that for free You could have seen him for free Yeah exactly

Yeah There's something funny About travelling from another state To do that Dress up as Marilyn Monroe And give Kappa a lap dance All in all a great day and the funny thing

was I thought on the way there I got an Uber on the way there and the guy was like the driver was like oh where are you off to today

and I go well this sounds weird but I'm off to a bucks party and he goes at fucking three o'clock this sounds like

a fucking lame bucks party I'm like oh no quite the opposite and he goes oh really well man it wouldn't have been any worse and I went I went to a bucks party a couple like oh no quite the opposite and he goes oh really well man it wouldn't have been any worse and i went i went to a bucks party a couple months ago and i'm you know

i've just turned 40 and we turn up we just want a golf day and we got there and it was like this empty pub and they had like one stripper there i'm like this is not honest 2023 i'm like that's describing about a tenth of what's about to happen yeah also i woke up with a like, I woke up with a... My arm was killing me. I couldn't figure out why. And then I got a flashback because when we got to the final pub after we left there, the Prince of Wales or whatever,

to get Capper in the venue, I had to hold him up by the scruff of his shirt. Dude, he was a crumpled heap. He was catatonic by like 9pm. I had to hold him standing up so he could walk. I was like navigating him. I was like

David Strassman. With capper. And then I'm holding capper up at the bar. Smelly wood. I'm holding capper up at the bar. He can barely keep his legs moving. And he orders a drink and somehow the bartender goes, yeah, no worries.

But then his brother who's... That was a pub opposite a commission flat, sorry. But then his brother who's... That is a pub opposite a commission flat. Sorry. But then his brother who's kind of stone cold sober orders a drink and she goes, nah, you've had enough. Wow. Did he get cut off? He's got that magic about him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was... I saw him trying to speak Spanish to that barmaid. And I was like... Capa? Yeah. Was Capa trying to... No, that was him trying to speak English.

Yeah. He couldn't speak English, but he was like trying, she was Argentinian or something, and he was like trying to slur out some Spanish. Capa comes up to me at one point and he goes, I think you were there too, Carl. He's like, yeah, you left-wing guys, I feel sorry for you because you could, this is like the best day you'll ever have.

You'll never get to have a day this wild again. And I'm like, yeah, I could never conceive of something as wild as watching Dave Thornton on a bucking bronco. What are you talking about? Beer pong with Dilruch Jaisinga. Who would have imagined? See, there was one brown person there. If the Greens hear about this, I'll be in trouble.

Also, the idea of right-wing Kappa. Kappa trying to stop the boats. But the next day, I was so hungover and I forgot that I agreed to be on the Today Show. Oh, my God. They randomly sent me an email saying, hey, we want you to do, you and a couple of mates. Kappa was meant to be there.

Obviously, he didn't rock up. And we're meant to try these different cooked chooks. What was the call time for this? Like, 10 o'clock. I rock up. I have to get an Uber because I'm still maggot. I don't even know what I said. But you will love this because I started doing callbacks.

Remember the time that Nazeem Hussain took us to his house? For a TV pilot that never got air. Never got up. The chef was- Kylie Kwong. Kylie Kwong. It was for a Channel 7 show. Yep.

He was supposed to have friends and family around, but because it was like three o'clock on a Tuesday, none of them were available. And so all of a sudden it was, whoever he saw at the gig the night before, where his family. And during that day, someone gave the score

11 out of 10, which I thought was hilarious. We were all trying to be funny and then this comedian's attempt was, oh, that food was 11 out of 10. I kept saying it to try and get it on the air. Yeah, I kept saying it.

So I started doing callbacks to that. To a party we went to four years ago. For a show that no one has ever seen. Yeah, never made it to air yeah it was just I was like Carl will find this funny so for one of my scores

I gave the chicken 11 out of 10 and the lady's like it doesn't make sense I was like just leave it in it's funny it's a callback

you idiot you don't get it it's an in joke so me and three of his mates from Gundawindi are just on TV raiding hot chicken oh wow

and then we just kept drinking straight after that. And then... What, did you try and get Kapper? Like, did you go try and pick him up? Try and wake him up. No, I got a...

I called him and then his missus said, please don't make him come. He will vomit on camera. He is currently in the fetal position. There is spew everywhere. And I said, job done.

That'll be great. great like the only time Cap has ever been on TV he's spewing on Channel 9 that's why I was like that's great get him on it'll be hilarious yeah

good bit he's IMDB just one entry drunk cunt today show and then I had to go back to the bar to get all the stuff

and put the pack down or whatever and then I just you had to pack down the bucking bull get all the stuff and put the pack down or whatever. Oh, fuck. And then I just kept drinking. You had to pack down the bucking bull. Yeah. No, that was gone. Right.

Yeah, I don't know who gave the guy a hand. You had to pack down Nick Carr. Is he still there? He was still there with his shirt off. Yeah, great. Was there anything else that you had kind of bubbling away in that beautiful little brain of yours that didn't end up being able to work out logistically?

What about being in the, again, another bit of, we don't need to go into specifics. There was one toilet. There was a bathroom with a lot of people in it at different points. Yeah. And, you know, using it recreationally rather than functionally, let's say.

Yeah. No, that's not true because, yeah, someone did a big fucking shit when I was in there. Well, that's what I was about to say. Someone working on the job at the time. A lot of people were in one of the bathrooms and then one of the strippers came in, went to the stall next to where everyone was in

and took a giant shit. It's just rules because you didn't even break strides. It was so confident. It was amazing. And just dropped a he break strides It was so confident It was amazing And just dropped a hectic one I was like My eyes are watering I've got to go

I've had enough up this nostril actually Yeah And then she goes straight back out there And is trying to be sexy Oh man That is hot honestly That attitude is really hot Pole dancing would look a lot better

if you didn't have toilet rolls streaming out of your arsehole. Fuck, she's a lot sexy now that she's like a couple of kilos lighter. I couldn't get up before, but now something's changed and I'm really into it. That is, I mean, it It's truly It was funny like Yeah just like Watching the strippers That's so funny

Watching her walk out And going You lost a couple of kilos Yeah You're looking good I think I said this to you It's just like There's something about

Like watching strippers At a thing like that Where you just You get a bit like Oh god this is like Rough and depraved And then you go Oh nah they've seen it

Like that day Wouldn't even rank in No Fucking You know I wouldn't even be getting The bottom half of the world everyone's pretty chill if you have any problems let us know but everyone everyone's like comics they're all dorks and they're all freaking out you know yeah yeah as you said they'll look i was like you know 10 minutes in i was like running out of conversation going are you cold because i've got a big coat on i'm

a bit cold she's like like, I'm fucking fine. Because I was saying to you, you know what a good pod would be is just like getting strippers in and just being like, you know, tell us about like the fucking worst

bucks things and whatever. And you were like, yeah, I've already been asking him some of that. Just like Uber style. Just like, what's the worst passenger

you've ever had? Ever drive anyone famous? I was like, are you allowed to get as drunk as you want on this job? she's like yeah i can do what the fuck i want i'm like really she just did a big shit yeah yeah the power move let's go into the area everyone's sniffing in and just take a massive deuce and not even flush the girl oh yeah to be fair everyone was in the women's toilet yeah she was the only one using it correctly. Of course. We don't want to keep the men's for that business

and then have this off-site one for a bit of fun. The fun toilet. Now, Brett, I have to be honest with you. I did get on my phone a couple of times. The forbidden fruit. It felt fucking great. As long as you didn't. The forbidden fruit. Yeah. I don't mind. It felt fucking great. As long as you didn't take any photos of the day.

I mean, if you did, it would be pretty funny. Yeah. This is a turnaround from the three stern emails that we got. Yeah. You know, the events changed by the time you came around. But no, the idea is, you know, you don't want to, you know, Kari's doing that. It's hilarious.

You know, he doesn't want to be shamed. Yeah. I did get it. Oh, yeah. We wouldn't want to shame him. It's doing that It's hilarious You know He doesn't want to be shamed So Yeah I did get We wouldn't want to shame him It's a good thing Not to be on the phone anyway Because otherwise Everyone would just be

Fucking scrolling And not having fun Totally Totally I did Once it had all cooled down I thought As everything had cooled down

I did get a smidge of you On the barking bull I can use for the socials Which I think I haven't looked back I think it's the perfect Venn diagram You gleefully came running over to me

after I'd set the record I actually beat your record though No you didn't! I did! I beat it straight after, I was like, I can't let Tommy Daslow beat me And that's why my knuckles are still bleeding because I was hanging on to the fucking thing for so long Fucking hell

Yeah, I mean, you wouldn't let him beat you at fucking River Raid. No, you're right. Yeah, I would have to defend my honour. Pop straight back on the Frogger machine and take him down. I've never felt more pressure to stay on something. I was like, come on, I've got to beat Dastardly. You were actually the only full-bodied.

You were like just clutching onto it like a fucking cliff was about to fall down Wile E. Coyote style. Yeah. It was great fun though. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, you came gleefully running over to me after I'd fallen off

the fucking Bronco and you were like, Tommy, Tommy, I got a video of it. I was on my phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I've got a smidge of everything.

I got a bit of you on the bull and then you falling off and then Blakey seeing me filming going, you're on your fucking phone Well surprise surprise I don't remember

I got on my phone to buy Paul McCartney tickets Because they went on sale As the Bucks was kicking off Oh so did Carl Because I asked him I go everyone I go everybody come in

The party's about to start Then I look at this empty bar And Chandler's just on his fucking computer Yeah I brought my laptop in which beautifully like the bucks party so funny started exactly the same time that the paul mccartney pre-sale started the two you know again no nothing touching that venn diagram but uh i took half it's you and me it's a little sliver in the middle of that venn diagram yeah yeah yeah and as i got them i was like fuck you i got them five hundred dollars i'm gonna sit at the front of paul mccartney, yeah, yeah. And as I got them, I was like, fuck you, I got them. $500.

I'm going to sit up in front of Paul McCartney. I'm going to see a Beatle live and then look to the day when. Well, I'm not in town for that one. So that's good. Good shit. I bought them for my parents and me. And I texted dad and said, hey, I got the tickets. And he wrote back, great news.

And then another message, Beatle concert in Melbourne. And then a third message, sorry, that was a mistake. Yeah, but what was, was that, was that a Google? Because it's like, Dad, I hate to break it to you.

You're not seeing the Beatles. You're getting as close as you can get. Was that him texting Ringo to like bring up a possible reunion? Well, so then he sent me this long thing. Because he did. We've talked about this on the show. He met the Beatles when they were in Melbourne in 1956.

No, 1963. Yeah, when they came out. 1962. He met them at a party, at a little function that they had. Town hall in Melbourne. At the town hall, yeah. I was trying to get details out of him about any specifics about the meeting for the longest time. Yes.

And he didn't seem to be able to recall much of any value remember when you went to the moon that time yeah i mean i remember going i don't really remember what it was a long time ago a lot's happened since then and he so now that we're doing this he's like reminded me of that and i'm like oh i remember and he's like yeah so you know maybe you could um you know that was just me meeting them at a function and having a great time. And, you know, maybe something like that could happen on this time of him coming out. I think he's angling for... Hang on, you've bought tickets for Paul McCartney for your dad.

Yeah. And now he thinks you're going to do the legwork to get him backstage. He wants the meet and greet. Oh, my God. He wants the free meet and greet as well. Which, you know, look, McCartney's getting on. I think I was saying this to you on the day McCartney's getting on

This could well be the last time Absolutely He ever comes out It should be From all reports He was terrible the last time he came out He's not getting any better than 80 Why would you want to listen to an 80 year old sing

And be like Yeah It's like It's like Capa trying to do Spanish Yeah It sounds like that stripper taking a shit No it actually said You know what trying to do Spanish. It sounds like that stripper taking a shit. No, it actually says, you know what?

Because his voice is all broken now and stuff. He's got sort of Grandpa Simpson voice now. So it's like you're not hearing anything great. You're seeing it rather than hearing it, I think. Yeah. So I went in to that toilet at some stage at the party for an actual whiz, interrupting everyone doing something way more important. As I walked out, I did hear the stripper say to someone at the party,

hey, you can do that line off my boob if you want. And then literally as I'm opening and closing the door, I just heard two people talk. She said, you can do that line off my boob if you want. And the other person at the party say, if that's okay. Now that impression sounds like me. And so I wanted to be clear that that wasn't me. We rule out Tommy Dasso.

We rule out Tommy Dasso. But yeah, I think my dad's angling for a, you know, he's angling for like a top and tail, you know, he met the great man the first time they were out, and then this could be the last time. Wow. He wants to be able to say that he, you know, I'm both, you know, on either end. We'll do some work.

I mean, sure, we can't get Grant Denyer on a second episode of this show, but why not? Let's get Paul McCartney in the mix. I do like the idea of the challenge, you know. If you've got any connections within the touring party of the McCartney. Will your dad bring up the last time he met him? Probably.

I mean, what's he going to bring up? He doesn't remember any of the fucking specifics. What else is he going to bring up though? I met you once. Oh, cool.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow, that's lovely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What else would he possibly talk about? What do you think your dad would actually? What would he ask him about? Yeah, great question. He would have something... If it's post-gig, there'll be some feedback.

Oh, yes. Dad loves a bit of it. The mix of the guitar wasn't quite right. Bring that up for Sydney. I like the Rolling Stones. Why don't you play some of that?

Satisfaction. You know that one? Yeah, you're doing Beatles songs and they're not all here. Yeah, you just do... Exactly. Do some wham.

They play... Do Careless Whisper. They play... I thought you were just doing the best of do some wham. They play, they play, they play Beatles on, Do Keillor's Whisper. They play, I thought you were just doing the best of Gold FM out there. Yeah.

Play some of the other bands. Do you reckon your dad would just be the front yelling out requests? Oh. Yeah, he's yelling,

hey Jude, and like, you know, Beatles class. He's got to request hey Jude. He might not play it. Yeah,

stuff that they're clearly going to play anyway. Just early on screaming it. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

as he walks out. Mr. Dasso, that's the opening band. That's on screaming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As he walks out. Mr. Dasso, that's the opening band. That's not him. Yeah. So that, I mean, that was my, that was the wildest part of my evening was like blacking out and buying these tickets and just being in the Ticketmaster queue and just being like, not even really looking at what they cost and then getting up the next day and being like, fucking hell, I spent a lot at an event that had a tab on it

and then looking at my bank and being like, oh no, a big chunk of that is Paul McCartney tickets. Just in my account being like, Jesus Christ, what did I fucking... I mean, I know the Shirley Temple cocktail, but what's a Paul McCartney? Why is it worth $1,000? So did you get a notification during the Bucks party saying these tickets are on sale I just knew it was happening then

that it was so I went in being like alright if I want to do this I'm going to be we both knew the pre-sale was exactly the same time as Brett's screaming at us

get in the fucking room yeah it's like oh ding you're in the queue yeah fuck yeah

I thought it made you think of it because when Brett wanted me on the bull he yelled hey Jew from across the room. Can't confirm nor deny that. I did like the very angry... He did that, he just didn't mean it as a play on words. The very angry email from Brett the day before about like,

wear the Hawaiian shirts and guys, no one trashed the fucking venue. It's like, way ahead of you, Brett. The one person that should be sent to is brett blake yeah but i don't mind if i lose my own deposit you know what i mean right right it's your money yeah if someone's gonna do it it's okay what's your tip so as the master bucks uh organizer what have you learned from this what what's your tips what's anything that that you thought is the that should be the number one rule or you've learnt since then?

I don't think I've learnt anything I've learnt that maybe don't use a female toilet because someone will do a big shit Yeah

Tell the strippers that they have to come cleaned out before the venue Give them a glass of Metamucil on the way in Clean the pipes

ladies Not on my dollar So no toilet breaks allowed some Edomusil on the way in. Clean the pipes, ladies. Not on my dollar. So no toilet breaks allowed to the strippers, unless they're using it the other way. Nick's original brief was, I want to do something that my countrymates have never seen or done before. So he goes,

I want you to hire four dirt bikes and we'll get a paddock and we'll light some stuff on fire and we'll just drink beers around the fire. Isn't that what they do in the country all the time? Isn't that what they do every day? That's Christmas lunch. Yeah, yeah. And then I was like.

Bring him down here and let's go to like a book launch at Redding's or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Caitlin got wind that there was going to be drunk people on dirt bikes. So that was a firm no. Yeah. And so, yeah, now it turned into. That's tough. Groom walking down the aisle in a neck brace.

Not a great look. That's what a lot of people I was speaking to about this were like, fuck, that is bold. The buck's so close to the wedding. Well, he had to have it so close, which is crazy. But he had to have it so close because everyone flew in for the wedding. People from out of town, yeah. They're not going to fly in for the box then fly in again. Yeah.

But yeah, everyone was behaved. No one, there was no issues or anything. What was the venue's feedback? Were they okay with it all? Well, I gave him a big tip at the end

but I forgot I'd been using the cash and then when I gave him the cash just all this white powder fell off the thing. Talcum powder from... Talcum powder.

Wipe my man. Strip his ass. And I just gave it to him and he's like, what is all that? I was like, thank you. That's a tip.

That's a tip. Yeah. That's a tip. It goes on the tip of your nose. They were pretty good. They were actually a great venue. Like, they really looked after us.

They were super easy. Shout out to the Leadbeater. Leadbeater Hotel. Great venue. Great venue. So nice You know they cleaned up everything Everyone was well behaved

I think they're aware of the show Because Kappa once told me They put in a request And said Do a live dum dum here Which we sort of did I guess Yeah you did

Yeah we should redo it For the fans Like a Patreon That's not a bad idea And we could actually Get that MC Yes Oh yes

He's hopefully got a clean bill of health Yes We get him in Yeah We get the stripper to take a shit line on staff Yeah yeah I mean the MC wouldn't make too much of a mess in the toilet I imagine He'd fall in

Oh god Alright is that going to do it? Yeah I've got to go. We've had our fun. All right, well, Brett Blake, Mike Goldstein, thank you very much for joining us. Thanks for having us. We'll see you guys tomorrow at the wedding.

It will have happened by the time you guys are hearing this. If anyone's getting hitched coming up, hi, Brett Blake is the Bucks party organiser extraordinaire. And feel free to welcome us because we had a great time. Great party. Mate, we did it. We survived and I'm still fucking hungover. Yeah.

It was a lot of fun. It was good. Things to plug, guys. Goldstein, you've got the phone hacks. Phone hacks with Capper. You know, he speaks Spanish on there all the time. How good he speaks on your one. Yeah.

Just rocks up an hour late every week. Yeah, but we will be on hiatus for a couple months, but yeah, we'll be back in October, but listen to all the back episodes.

Your special's coming out, isn't it, soon? I think so. I don't know what the... You just recorded a great special. Yeah, thanks, man. At the Basement Gone and Gone,

inspired by Kramer. Kramer, yeah. And the laughs in the window. I just pointed at the neon signs. It was a little bit racier than Kramer's gear, but I'm sure they'll fix it in the end. Nice.

So, yeah, that'll be up, I guess, on YouTube eventually, so keep an eye out for that. And watch The 100 with Andy Lee on Channel 9 if you still watch Frida Air TV. Or on the Nine Now app. You're at the Logies. I mean, there would have been a nice little reenactment

of the Bucks party bathroom up there yeah Julia Morris took a shit but enough about I'm a

celebrity Brett what have you got going on guys my comedy special is coming out in a couple of months so if

you jump on to my YouTube because that's probably where it's going to be I'm going to chuck it up there for free in a couple of months, so if you jump on to my YouTube, because that's probably where it's going to be, I'm going to chuck it up there for free in a couple of months. So get on there. Give us a subscribe if you can. If not, hit us up on Instagram as well.

And I've got the Flat Stick podcast with Nick Capa. I feel like two of our favourite guests, that's Brett Blake and Nick Capa. They've got their own podcast. Give them a shout. Great. Thanks very much for listening, guys, and we'll see you next time.

See you, mate. Great, thanks very much for listening guys And we'll see you next time See ya mates And they've done it again They really have They've bucked the big one, Bernie Oh yeah Fun, bucks party, genuinely Bernie's backed out Bernadette's backed out a big one

Bernadette's backed out a big one Brett Blake's gone on the back foot. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Did a good job for someone that I've never seen so cross-armed and back against the wall. We've been planning this for about three weeks before I went to Vietnam.

Yeah. We had the date of the bucks. We had the date of the wedding. Yeah. We were starting to get these messages about some things that might be happening and we went, well, we've got to do it. Alarm bells. Content alarm bells went off.

So, look, we did expand on all of what happened and some people got a little bit more loose-lipped straight after we recorded that episode on the bonus Patreon episodes for this week. So if you're listening right now and you want to hear a couple of people that think that no one's listening to the Patreon episodes, so got a bit looser,

get onto that and find out what else happened at the party. Yeah, it's a nice little cheat, isn't it? It's like, guys, you know, just go on the Patreon. It's like, not that many people really on there. You can open up. But then by being able to say that, that means more people get on it. And all of a sudden, that's not true anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We just did them. They're very funny, the bonus ones. And we get a bit deeper into all that. Yeah. It's good shit. But yeah, as we're recording this, the wedding is tomorrow. Yes. The sexy lemon man.

Yes. Sexy lemon weather man. Yes. Will be making his public debut. Right. Sexy lemon weather man. Yes. Will be making his public debut in about 24 hours time. And is it all – it's all come across from the flight. It's all intact. It's all – it travelled well, the suit. Yeah, I had a suitcase pretty full already going over

and then just, yeah, ordered too much stuff at the tailors and really was thinking, I don't know how I'm going to get this home. Yes. Managed to fit it all in and then thought, well, I'm going to be over the limit now, weight-wise, but just snuck under there. So it's all made it back with me. It's all ready to go.

Might need a bit of a steam in the morning. Oh, yeah. But, yeah, looking forward to it. Great. Looking forward to breaking it out. Looking bit of a steam in the morning. Oh, yeah? But, yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Great. Looking forward to breaking it out. Looking forward to outshining the groom. Yeah. Wow, that's hard to do.

Yeah, I'm going to do it too. I'm coming in a bin bag. Hey, something from last week on Talking Dumb Dumb. Not so much a corrections corner. Yes. But just something that I found out. Yes. You found out? I found out. We were talking so much a corrections corner. Yes. But just something that I found out. Yes. You found out.

I found out. We were talking about Dennis the Menace. Yes. And how it's interesting that there's a British and an American one. Yes. Did you know this? No. Because Adam Knox told me the next day, it's a coincidence.

Oh. They debuted in the same week. What? One in the UK and one in the US. That's crazy. Just coincidentally, two comic strips called Dennis the Menace. That's crazy. Isn't that nuts?

That's crazy. Yeah. I'll say it again. That's crazy. Because I was like, oh, that has to be the British got to do their own version of it and just fuck around with it. Yeah. But it's sheer coincidence.

That is wild. Yeah. I wonder if they still exist because that's a weird thing to try and sue the other one over i think the judge would just see that fact and go i'm not touching this this is just fucking something from another planet well i don't want to rule in favor of the american dennis the menace because then that british one will come after me yeah and he's a real little so and so me in the ass with a real little see you next tuesday in the ass with a with a knife yeah um yeah right okay well that's good to know um good

factoid yes i thought yes it is that was i forgot until someone mentioned it in the socials this week that we were talking about the other week about um with greg larson talking about was it greg larson talking about bunnings being in the 18th century. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, funny. Boer War Warehouse. Boer War Warehouse, yeah. Our friend Callum Preston hops on the tools, does that one up for us.

Yes, he's in the Facebook People Aware group. So that was very funny. What else we got? We got the Perth gig. Perth gig, oh yeah. Coming up. Come to the Perth show. We're in a nice, Perth, you always come out.

I know it's a fair way out, so we shouldn't probably harp on it too much because it is, I think roughly just under what, under three months away. But yeah, get your tickets at some stage and that'll be fun. We are bringing in guaranteed non-Perth comedians. Yeah. But, yeah, get your tickets at some stage and that'll be fun. We are bringing in guaranteed non-Perth comedians. Yeah. I think at least two. Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe we'll have to let one through the net. Yeah, we might. I think it's, you know, what were the old rules where you- It's like you have to have a certain percentage of Australian people working on an overseas show. Yes. Yeah. We're doing that. Exactly.

When Star Wars comes to Australia, it's like, sorry, but you have to have – The best boy is going to have to be a Melbourneite. The fat kid from Hay Dead has to be Luke Skywalker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. So, yeah, we will probably have one guest. But, you know, 20% Perth, that's pretty good. Like the products that you pick up now that

like have that little gauge where it says this product is 81 australian oh yeah yeah yeah or like 17 real fruit yeah that's a good one this is 20 real perth yeah that's pretty good that's pretty good yeah well and if you want to talk about just the guests then it's like 33%. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't want to talk about just the guests. I want to say the whole show. You want to say all... Yeah, okay. Yeah.

As a product. You're not selling the guests. You're selling as a product. That's true. You're selling the whole experience. 20%. You wouldn't want more than 20% of anything being Perth-based.

Yeah, it's too much. I don't think. Way too much. Yeah. So that's going to be good. Come on to that November the 4th. 4th, yeah. Saturday afternoon.

Mm-hmm. There's plenty of time to go to shit after that so yeah there's no footy on which means there's literally nothing else to do in perth no but our show no they love their footy over there beautiful straight on a saturday night when you walk out there and just you know as long as you don't as long as you don't back out of the place you won't get coward punched. Well, that's it. I mean, our show is starting at four. By the time we're finished, you can still get out of there before it turns too hairy. Yeah. Between it.

Yeah. Well, yeah. I don't know. I think it could be probably quite hairy on the way in. Yeah, true. Okay. Well, yeah, we should. Let's get into it.

Let's get into patreon.com Slash little dum-dum club You can get on there You can get, like we were saying Bonus mini episodes every week Two great ones that we just did after this recording With Brett Blake and Goldstein Where we go deep, deeper

And a few more looser-lipped mentions Of what happened on the Bucks Well worth a listen I was very happy to sit here and listen to it myself yeah yeah um and here's i'm going to name some people who will be listening to it or at least have the potential to listen to it because they have been signed up but not only that they're they're being unlike unlike some stuff that we've done on this regular episode i'm going to name names yeah okay about who's doing stuff yeah name and shame i'm going to

name and shame people who give us money. Name and fame. Yes. Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah. Name and fame. Let's do that right now. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber first cab off the rank.

It is Sam Wright. Sam Wright. Yeah, well, he's not Sam wrong about signing up to Patreon. No, he's sure not. He's sure not. Sam Wright on the dot. Yeah. He's listened to the bonus stuff last week that was great with Tony Martin

and whatever. He's listening this week. He will be listening this week to the rest of the Bucks party. Yep. Escapades. Yep. It's fun to imagine him having like an evil twin called Sam Wrong. Yes.

You know? Yes, that would be it. He's like the goody two-shoes and then Sam Wrong's. It's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He gets drunk. They're the two Dennis the Menaces. Oh, yeah. He gets drunk.

It's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He turns into Sam Wrong when he's out at the pub. Yeah. It's midnight. Gets a bit crazy. Sam Wrong comes out. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Don't make me Sam Wrong. Yeah. You wouldn't like me when I'm sam wrong that's his threat to people yeah yeah they're like hey do a shot man and he's like man i i don't know i don't think you want that i'm happy to do it but just warning you yeah sam wrong's gonna come out yeah yeah it's oh he's getting drunk but he's not getting bad and he's like just tipsy and he's like if this is sam right i don't want to be sam wrong there we go yeah yeah that's good he's getting drunk, but he's not getting bad. And he's just tipsy. And he's like, if this is Sam Wright, I don't want to be Sam Wright. There we go.

Yeah. Yeah. That's good. I mean, do you think he's heard all of these? No. I think we're brilliant. Yeah. I think there's no way anyone else would work out that the opposite of right is wrong.

Well, I couldn't because it's spelt differently. It's W-R-I-G-H. Man, you've been doing comedy for 15 years plus. This is what comes with experience. Well, but I had the benefit too of not seeing it written down. I just heard it, you know. Yeah, yeah. Well, we got there.

It doesn't matter how we got there. We got there. We got there. And no one else could have. No. It's just us. And that's why you pay money to get someone to unlock that comedy lock. We've got the comedy key.

Well, this is like the, what's it called? This is like sending off the DNA, like the ancestry. Yes. Where you find out what your makeup is. That's good. It's like, oh, wow, I've actually got relatives here or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is that.

This is what you're actually paying for on Patreon. Yes. It's for us to do that, but with your name. With your name. The genealogy of your name. We look up the comedy family tree. Yeah, family tree to see what is funny about your name. Go all the way back. You're 60% fucked.

You're 60% sound like an idiot. 20% anal. Yeah, that's good. I've got to do it. You just come in a little vial and send it off. I keep saying I'm going to do it but I've got to get a little DNA test for my dog. I want to know what's going on. Really?

I want to know what's going on there because he really? I want to know what's going on there. Because he's a rescue, we don't fully know. And what he is on his birth certificate, it's like there's just no way. Like he doesn't look like any other example of a dog like that. And I want to know. Maybe he's a cat. Oh, fuck. Here we go.

Fuck, dude. Yeah, not bad. He could be a cat. Not bad. Look at him. He could be a cat. Yeah. Four legs. Yep. He could be a cat. Not bad. Look at him. He could be a cat. Yeah. Four legs.

Yep. Walks around. Furry. Yep. Close to the ground. Yep. Domesticated. Yes.

He's a pet. Like sitting on a, doesn't mind curling up on a lap. That's very cat-like of him. This is the truth about cats and dogs right here. Yeah. They're similar. He does like making biscuits, which is very cat-like of him. I'd never heard of a dog doing that before.

I've never heard that phrase before. Oliver Clarke, friend of the show, made a song called that. Yeah, me too. Never heard of it. But Sam Wright, he's Sam Correct in his monetary exchanges in this example. Do you reckon this cunt's descended from the blokes what made the plane? Yes, absolutely. There couldn't be any other explanation.

Couldn't be any other. He might be one of them. He might have lived on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was one of the brothers. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, there's two great things in my life. I invented the plane, and then 110 years later, I gave money to two little fuckheads on a podcast.

Why did they make the whole Patreon readout of this riff? Sam Wright, you got your money's worth there thanks sam that's pretty good yeah uh thank you very much to patient subscriber brad arnold oh yeah i know this name i know this name on the patreon i see this name a bit and i'm always like d and t yeah exactly that's a little leave it at d that's That's a hassle. A-R-N-O-L-D-T. Yeah. What's going on there? Leave it off.

Brad Arnold. There you go. Fine. Brad Arnold. Is that how you meant to say it? Brad Arnold, apostrophe. Abbreviate it. Have the apostrophe in there.

Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure. Leave the apostrophe there just to shorten it and get rid of the T. Are you meant to say Brad Arnold? Brad Arnold. Brad Arnold. Are you? Are you meant to put a Arnold? Brad Arnold. Brad Arnold. Are you? Are you meant to put a little bit of stank on the end there? I did and I would.

Yeah. Brad Arnold. You know what he should do? Add a T to the Brad. Brad Arnold. Yeah, that's good. Brad. Yeah.

Do it. Be consistent. If you're going to be a fucking pain in the ass, be consistent. Yeah. Brad. Brad Tully. Brad T consistent. Brad Tully. Brad Tully. Brad Tully.

Yeah, okay. Bradley. Bradley. Bradley might. I don't mind. Brad as a name is kind of cool. Bradley sounds like shit. That's got to be one of the biggest chasms between full name and short name.

Abbreviation. They sound like completely different dudes. Do you know a Bradley? I don't think I do. Do you know a Bradley? Hmm. I don't think I do. I don't think I do either. No. I'm trying to think of a famous Bradley. Bradley Cooper.

But no, Bradley's in comedy. No. Oh, no. So not just people that go by Brad. You mean strictly it has to be Bradley. Yeah. Yeah. It is interesting that Bradley Cooper goes by Bradley.

Yeah. Is that him? Is that maybe him getting into acting and being like, because it's not a very common name, is that him just assuming like, well, Brad Pitt. He's got Brad on lock. I reckon Brad Cooper's just a bit plain. Brad Cooper.

Yeah, you're right. I mean, Bradley Cooper. Yeah. And also, he's one of those guys, good-looking guy, charismatic. He's like, fuck it. I'll take the worst version of my name and i'll still fucking still shine with it yeah i got my dick out here you know what it is as well it's it's shades of timothy chalamet you know just being like so exact same thing tim chalamet yeah sounds stupid yeah and

also a guy that's so attractive that he can just be like yeah yeah i'm gonna get up here with one of the dumbest names of all time yes and still be fucked i was gonna say you're saying tim chalamet sounds stupid i'll tell you what sounds stupid timothy well tip but tim chalamet doesn't it doesn't really sound showbiz tim sucks no tim sucks a bit but timothy sucks a lot timothy's bad timothy's bad yeah that's like you're trying to have a bad name yeah yeah i think yeah like you're trying to get bashed. I really think that. You call your kid Timothy. Yeah. It's like the boy called Sue.

You're trying to toughen your kid up. So you're thinking Timothy Chalamet, he doesn't even necessarily want to be an actor. He just wants to get bashed. That's not even his name. It's a dare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See how big you can get with this name. Yeah.

The ultimate handicap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're too hot. Yeah. It's a dare yeah yeah yeah see how big you can get with this name yeah the ultimate handicap yeah yeah you're too hot yeah it's a dare someone dared him and now he's probably going up to that person in high school going you owe me 50 bucks yeah and they're like yep all right i'm a man of my word i guess you're big enough You've made me look pretty stupid here, Timothy. You've made your point by being a worldwide superstar actor. I guess technically you win the bet. The man who every woman in the world right now would step over their own mother to fuck. Yeah. Yeah.

And that is the way you test if someone's hot or not. Would you step over your mother or not? If your mother was lying there on the ground and then on the other side of them was this hot person going, please fuck me. I've seen a couple of sixes where I've gone, no, I think I'd stay on this side of my mother. Well, and mum's on the ground as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, eh, I'll wait here. I'll pick mum up.

Yeah. Yeah. I'll make sure she's okay. If you're crazy, crazy hot, I mean, mum will be fine. Something else will... Dad's probably here somewhere. Yeah. But if you're a six, it's like, get better.

Better patch those wounds on mum. I mean, she did raise me. Better ten. You're like, well, I don't know. Hospital's that way. Yeah. Looks like a graze to me. I'll be here.

I'll be here. Rooting. Well, thanks Brad. Thanks Brad. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Well, well, well. Uh-oh. I think this is the first case of this that we've ever had to read out on this show.

Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Dr. Mike Todorovic. Okay. Yeah. I've seen this guy on the socials and he is a doctor. Dr. Mike. Yeah. Todorovic. I mean, I don't think you really needed to put the doctor in the Patreon subscription,

but, you know, whatever. No. Well, but, you know, you put a lot of time and money into getting that, you know, that distinction. Why not? This is one of these Ben Kingsley things where he's like, you know, he gets billed and it's like it's actually Sir Ben Kingsley. But again, I would.

Right. If I'd put all that time into it, I'd be like, you can call me Dr. Thanks. Yeah, yeah. Well, he's using that doctor money to shovel into our pockets. He's making a few house calls with dollars for us. So how are we spelling this name? What is it?

Todorovic? Todorovic. I reckon I've nailed it. T-O-D-O-R-O-V-I-C. Ah, okay. Todorovic. Yep. I've seen this guy commenting on stuff and I've gone,

it does stand out. In an audience like we attract, someone with a medical degree does stand out because there's the pathology um clinics in melbourne at least called dorovich pathology spelt differently but i was thinking you were saying his name was dr to dorovich which is like awesome doctor name like yeah go to the pathology lab right get the fucking results for me. Come on, mate. Hit the road. No, this guy is like a – I just Googled him.

He's a – What's he do? What's his specialization? Senior lecturer of bioscience. Okay. Wow. Okay, so he's not a GP. Oh, actually, well, that might be a different person.

Who knows? But I don't think it is. Surely there's only one Dr. Mike Todorovic. But then it also says he's a medical researcher. I don't know. He's got a Facebook page that's got fans and stuff. I don't know what he does. Anyway, I remember seeing him on Instagram.

He had more fans than us. Wow. Oh, he does a podcast. Oh, okay. Shout out to Dr. Mike's medical podcast. Is that what it's called? Well, Dr. Mike and Dr. Matt. Whoa.

Medical podcast. Okay. Which is funny. We should call ours Tommy and Carl's Comedy Podcast. Well, I don't think we have that official title. We're not like these guys Fuck Studied for however many years

Yeah Paid X amount Well you know Open Mic Rooms are sort of like University Of comedy Yep Not really but

Man that's so funny I mean we've said over the years Carl's Comedy Friends would be a great name for it Carl's Comedy Friends But Tommy and Carl's Comedy Podcast is up there. Yeah. It's pretty good.

I might listen to this Doctor podcast. Okay. What do they do? I mean, what do you think? Is it just like people write in and they're like, hey, I've got the sniffles. I've got a lump. What is it? It's like, fuck, I've just showered.

There's a lump in my balls. What do I do? Write to a podcast. Yeah. Sorry. It's taken us a while to get to this one. Yeah. That does a podcast. Yeah, sorry. It's taken us a while to get to this one. Yeah. That does sound fatal.

Yeah, yeah. There's a man after me with an axe. Yeah. He's already hit me once in the head. What should I do? Yeah. Unfortunately, you're probably no longer with us because it's taken us two months to get to this email. This is an answer and a tribute.

Yeah. It's a tribute. It's funny. You know, on Facebook, you do like an intro on your Facebook fan page or whatever. And sometimes it'll like, because you do it years ago and Facebook always changes how they set up the page and stuff over the years. They reformat how they do things or whatever. I'm just reading his intro and it says, it's very clearly been abbreviated, but I don't know what from. So it goes, Dr. Mike is a senior lecturer and medical researcher at Griffith University, Australia.

He loves help. I'm sure there's more to that than that. Yeah. But he loves help. He loves help. Also, it used to be you got X amount word limit. Yeah. At a certain point, they've changed that.

Yes. And rather than notify people. Yes. They've just cut them off. Yes. So it it would have been he loves help from anyone that listens you know if you've got a question now it's just like he loves help oh he's a doctor i reckon you should help yourself physician help thyself god all these fucking apps take the piss don't they but um yeah i think this podcast really really big. I remember seeing it on... We should try and get on.

Yeah. What's wrong with us, Dr. Mike? Can we just... Dr. Mike, let us know what the podcast is. We won't be listening before we come on. Yes. But is it just like we both need to have

like an ailment that we come on and we ask you guys about? Do we need physical or psychological ailments? Yeah. Is there any... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there any preference? Yeah. I'm happy for you... Diagnose our guests as well if you want. physical or psychological yeah is there any yeah yeah yeah is there any preference yeah

I'm happy diagnose our guests as well yeah I'm happy for you to go up the dot live on air I'm probably getting close to being due for a bit of that with any of our

Patreon subscribers I'm happy to offer that service no that's the thousand dollar tier oh right right right but I'd be happy to have that done yep live on the air yeah yeah yeah i mean

i you know i mean they don't really do that anymore but no you just like they just take your blood sample now which is a bit well i found that out at age 40 it was a woke agenda yeah the woke agenda's gotten onto everyone i thought my doctor was a little bit homophobic but anyway i was insisting on it i'd been doing it since i was 20 to be fair, but yeah. Anyway. Well, thanks, Dr. Mike. Thanks, Dr. Mike. Yeah.

Happy to give this podcast a shout out. Yes. I mean, especially since it's probably way bigger than ours. So get us on. Yeah. Give us a diagnosis of this episode. Do you think they're having medical students on as guests that then down the line become way famous and better doctors than both of them? Well, I'm saying, like I just saw the last update where it says, just finished a two

hour podcast on the immune system. Oh yeah. So yeah, it's sort of like what we do. Yeah. I guess. Yeah. A little bit. I mean, we talked about.

I mean, we do. We do Cancer Corner from time to time. Yeah. We talked about a stripper taking a big old shit. Yep. That's sort of up there yep in a little way um yeah well if you can um yeah if you can let us know any information any medical information that's been sticking out at you after listening to this show yeah that'd be

great uh thanks and uh yeah get on get on your Facebook and update your About Me. Yes, please. Well, I mean, who doesn't want help? Who doesn't love help? Thanks, Dr. Mike. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Hans Smit. Okay. Hans.

Yep. H-A-N-N-E-S dash. It seems like this guy's been cut off by Facebook or something. Wait, dash? No, no, sorry, not dash. Sorry, space. Hans, space, S dash. It seems like this guy's been cut off by Facebook or something. Wait, dash? No, no, sorry, not dash. Sorry, space. Hans, space, Smith. Like Smith, but without the H.

Jesus. Okay. Yeah, this seems like... There's been a name abbreviation happen. This just seems like a glitch. Yeah. This just seems like you've opened Patreon and it hasn't fully loaded. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I've run it through a program I shouldn't have, and that's what's come up. Yeah. You got some malware. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah. Yeah, I've run it through a program I shouldn't have and that's what's come up. Yeah, you got some malware. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is how you find out. That's how the, yeah, what's it called? The UTA? Yeah.

That's, yeah, there's been a virus. Got a virus. Yeah. You tried to download a torrent on it. Yeah, too much porn. Weirdly, I'm trying to download porn on a name generator and it hasn't enjoyed it. I'm just downloading the names of like sexy women well the wife checks your laptop yeah this is the only yeah

this is the only but i don't get any pictures i just get the names well sometimes that's enough yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah absolutely it's like fuck imagine her yeah i mean not this week i mean you know i probably won't jack my dick to brad ar If it didn't have the T on it, there'd be a chance. Yeah. Well, then it's both names. The T's cock-blocked me. Yeah. Both names ending in, you know, double D.

Whoa. There you go. Jesus Christ. There we go. That's enough. Brad might be the sexiest. That's enough. Brad could have been the sexiest name we've ever seen.

Yeah. But he had to ruin it. Exactly. You've never heard, you've never heard like, oh, check out Pamela Anderson's D and 1T. You've never heard that, have you? No. Hans Schmidt with his double Ns. Fuck.

That's really big. That's big. That's too big. That's too big. That's too big. That's unhealthy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, well, Dr. mike could have installed them maybe yeah

yeah yeah made room for him by taking a h off the smith whacked in a couple of double n's that's not i've never seen hans spelled that way i've just never seen this name i should say like i thought you were going to say h-a-n-s h-a-n-s oh no no no yeah yeah i don't know what's going on here yeah it's it's quite this has stumped me it's um it kind of makes me hope that he is living overseas somewhere it's one thing to live here with a foreign name i love hearing about an international listener of this show. Yeah. That's what I love. Yeah. Let's find out.

I'm Facebooking. Mm-hmm. What are you able to do? Here we go. I found him. I found him. I found him. He lives.

Oh, well, you know what? He's a, here we go. I think he's English. Mm-hmm. And he studied mathematics at the University of Exeter. Okay. There you go. Okay.

Natural progression. You study mathematics and you listen to a very intellectual podcast like this. Yeah. Exactly. To finish your degree. Plus nine. Yeah. Yeah.

It's, yeah. You listen to this and go yep that is zero plus zero talent equals zero okay cool yeah okay I get it yeah yeah yeah

I'm going to write my thesis on this whatever happened to that thesis that was written on us yeah I don't know I think she's finished it I don't know if it's

out and about yet we talked about that years ago it went on for quite a while there was a thesis written about us by a listener and then didn't hear

anything about it which means that I think she probably failed her university course oh i wonder probably working at kfc right now yeah yeah we should check in no one's uh if not you know no no news is bad news i think in this case yeah i think uh if anything good would have happened we would have been the first to hear about it thanks this is what happened or maybe you know it's like something good happening it's not in these guys wheelhouse yeah they don't want to know about that you're right okay yeah you actually right something good happened we'd be like what do we do with this this has never happened to us boring yeah but uh hans well i'm like i said excited always excited to hear from overseas listeners.

Exeter, if you're still in England, I hope you came to our live show in 2019. Yep. This is a plug for that show. Yep. Please come to it. We'll go back and listen to it. Yeah, we'll go back and listen to it.

Good episodes. Three episodes. Three episodes that had tomorrow's groom, Nick Capa, on them. Yeah. episodes that had tomorrow's groom Nick Capa on them yeah when he flew over dressed as a

dressed in a suit dressed in a probably honestly dressed better than he'll be dressed tomorrow absolutely you're dead right dressed more formal and more appropriately

for tomorrow you are absolutely right yeah he was dressed better than I mean sure he had makeup And um Straightened hair And an earring Yes

So you know obviously Fuck we should We should have got him to travel To his wedding In the most fucked up way possible Oh damn From From uh

From Abbotsford to Thornbury Yeah yeah Okay You're starting off on the Yarra Yeah You're going down to You're going off on the Yarra. Yeah. You're going down to... Bass Strait.

Yeah. Then from there, a horse and carriage is going to pick you up. Yeah. That would be good. Well, thanks, Hans. Thanks, Hans. You don't look like a Hans Smit, but thanks for listening. We're smitten with your contribution.

I like that. All right. Let's just do one more. We've had a long day. I think we've punched through. I think we've done well. Yeah. We did the normal part.

We did the bonus episodes. Yep. Patreon that you can sign up for, and then we've done this. Yep. That means it's basically a, what time do I get here? That's a day of work. Yeah. We started at 2.30.

Just like you guys out there. We do one of them a week. Just like you muggles. Yep. Yeah, it started at 2.30. Now it's now 5. Oh, yeah. We've done pretty well to keep it to that time.

Usually we... What time did I arrive here? 2.30. Was it really? Yeah. Okay. Because usually we did prattle on at the start, but usually we've got a very bad habit of talking for an hour before we record.

Yeah. And getting all the good stuff out and not recording it. Well well the thing with this one was we knew that we would get like otherwise we would have just been talking about the box yes but i think we both knew we're like yeah okay let's start recording well there was quite a bit of me yelling at you and goldstein saying stop saying these funny things leave it till we're recording um all right. Okay, one more. Let's just do one more and then let's get out of here. Sure. The sun's going down. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber.

Oh, okay. Wow. Jesus Christ. It's like a bus in here. You get one after, you wait forever for one and then two come along. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber, Dr. Comedy. Dr. Comedy. Yeah.

Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Wonder what country, if he has a podcast. Yeah. That would be good. I wonder what he specializes in. Yeah. Dr. Comedy. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. I wonder what country, if he has a podcast. Yeah. That would be good. I wonder what he specializes in. Yes. Yeah, I don't know.

Where would he have studied? Hmm. Yeah, great question. Which university? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And could we, I mean, I wish we were, again, I wish we knew anything about the thing that

you studied to be on your podcast. Yeah. Unfortunately, we're the muggles now. No. Yeah. We could, yeah. Yeah. We got no clue.

Yeah. Teach us your ways. Study this podcast and do your diagnosis. Well, thanks, Dr. Comedy. Yeah. And thanks, everyone who supports the show. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub. Get on there.

Get yourselves the bonus episodes thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time see you mates