The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 678 - Ed Kavalee & Ben Russell

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

This week we're joined by ED KAVALEE and BEN RUSSELL! We reminisce about our time in the Royal Melbourne Show's haunted house with Ben Russell, Kav's got some thoughts about My Muscle Chef, Karl's been trying to watch live music in a Thai restaurant PLUS we finally follow up on a talkback topic that we posed months and months ago: what's the food that people think you're weird for not liking? The answers WILL shock you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Ed Cavalli and Ben Russell. We have got some live shows coming up. Perth, November the 4th. I was so set on saying the right number because I said the wrong number last week. And then I've just gone to, I've fast forwarded to next year already. Yeah, well, next week we'll get it right. Yeah, November the 4th in Perth and then Melbourne, November the 25th. That's correct.

That is what we have coming up. Good boy. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for information that is much more accurate than what I've just said out loud and you can also find a link to our Patreon there where you can get on and support the show and get bonus episodes. We'll talk to you more at the end of the episode

in Talking Dumb Dumb but until then, enjoy this great new episode with Ed Cavalli and Ben Russell. Dumb Dumb Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow. And with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, Dickhead. And joining us today, two very special guests. Please welcome back onto the show, Ben Russell and Ed Cavill. Oh, my God. Yes. What a blessing.

Yes, and. Great to be here. Kings of improv. Great to be here. Thank you so much for having me and to a lesser extent, Ben. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably because I'm

little I was sorry very quickly I thought of you Ben Russell and you told me that so sorry Ed

the other day I was at the he's seen a little man I reckon no no no saw a little baby in a pram there's a little

man about Fantasy Island yes premise is I saw some people that aren't on TV and radio and I thought of you guys island. Premises. I saw some people that aren't on TV and radio and I thought of you guys.

I heard Troy had died a little while ago and it made me think of Tony and Ben. No, you two and I and Greg Larson once went to the

Melbourne show together for people that aren't from Melbourne or aren't from even Australia maybe. How do you describe the Melbourne show?

You call it like a fair, like a yearly state fair. State fair. State fair. Agricultural show, I guess. But a lot of- Sydney show, Royal Sydney show in Sydney, the ECCA in Brisbane.

It's known as a show for exhibition and Perth and South Australia. Insert reference here. You can put that in later. I like how you're explaining the Melbourne show for people in Sydney by saying, it's like the Sydney show Yeah cool Because otherwise When you do podcasts

People have forgotten That often If we do Team Effort People will come on And just reference The shit out of streets In the town we're in Oh yeah yeah yeah

But isn't that annoying Because you're like Well this podcast Is meant to be Sort of global If anything But yeah That doesn't stop us though

No No well that's why I'm saying That's why I'm saying that's why i'm explaining it because i used to read mad magazine as a like six-year-old who the fuck is spiro agnew there's no context yeah um so uh whatever it is the fun fair the yearly fun fair where there's animals there's rides whatever so we went in a haunted house a couple years ago so i went to jason pj's haunted house yeah well it's been. So I went to- Jason PJ's haunted house. Yeah, well, it's been rebranded to whoever the fuck those radio hosts are now.

It's Jase and Lauren. Yes. Is it true that when you go in there, it's just an empty room where they're playing their show? Meow. You just have to produce their show. That's the horror. You get in there.

They hand you a clipboard. A pass for the building. It's actually just a tunnel. You keep walking. You come out at their studio and they go, great. All right, we're on in 10 seconds. You've got to produce Jase's crying segment. It goes for four hours.

Take it away. This is better than just listing street names in Melbourne, talking about one specific drive radio show. They give you a coffee order. then you're going to go. No, so we did that. We did it. It's been really great for the new people. And then so I walked past that and I was with my four-year-old daughter

and she was like what she asked what that place was because it looked quite different to everything else in there. And I was like, oh, it's a haunted house. And she's like, oh, is there ghosts in there? And I was like, oh, yeah, sort of. You go in there and it's like oh is it is there is there ghosts in there and i was like oh yeah sort of you go in there and it's very very scary and then a door opened and two girls walked out and one of them like one of them actually sort of like had a bit of a panic attack on the way out was like like shook and and we were watching that and it was like oh wow it must be really scary and

then straight afterwards a man in tracksuit pants and just like a puma jumper walked out with a skull mask on and went, oh, fuck, and just closed the door behind him. Yeah, nice. Nice to see Greg Fleet getting some work. He's back. He's bounced back. That was through a mask. Is that what we do on this show? That was legitimately scary when we were in there.

Do you remember? We got trapped. I don't think it was legitimately scary. I remember we got trapped. The chainsaw man scared the shit out of us. I was scared just of inhaling the fumes from the chainsaw. I was like, this is carbon monoxide poisoning. I snuck the recorder in.

I've got audio of us all yelping, and I've got Greg Larson on record going, why would Jason PJ do this to us? Fantastic. No, that was legit scary, because what's scarier than being in a dark place and people jumping out at you, which is all it was? It's classic.

It's classic. Yeah, and then the end of it was, I think it was me and you, Tommy, the end of it was, I think we got separated from the pack. You guys just fled to start, like, up the front. And then you'd already gotten out, and we were up to the last bit. And then we're like, oh, we're screaming the whole time because it is just people jumping out with skull masks on

and screaming at us or whatever. So that happens right at the end. A guy jumps out in front of us and screams at me, and you just go, oh, fuck! And we just stand still and like, oh, oh, oh. And then the guy just points at the door unless you go out that door now yeah other people waiting now so that audio could you insert that audio here oh i could yeah i could i'll have to see

yeah it's so much work. As the producer of Jason and PJ. It'd be probably easier to go to the show myself and just get fresh audio. Oh, like Taylor Swift style. Just re-record it. Yeah. Well, you own all the masters, so I don't get any money off the others. Right, yeah. We're trapped.

Where are we going? Where are we going? That's right. That's it. There we go. What about, could we get the, uh, could we get the Ed and Husey haunted house going on? Yes. Bad idea. Well, you know, the idea. I get it. All the snakes jump out of the bag. Exactly.

Oh, that's great. Or it's the Husey's haunted house, and it's just a row of houses that he owns, each one larger than the last. You have to see if you can get out. You can't bloody sell it. Nobody wants it. That's Husey screaming,

I need new tenants. I can't get my yield. Do you know what? Sometimes he will complain about a tenant for his block of flats. Sometimes. And I'll go, mate, I get it. It's tough out there. Slumlord Husey.

Bloody a Krispy Kreme. Like, won't pay their bills on my fucking block of fucking buildings. No, I love this. We've stumbled on a great idea. We have the Husey Haunted House, and this is taking part in our big theme park that's just called Comedy World. Oh, yes. Just every ride.

Yes. It's just a place where we celebrate comedians and comedy. That's good. All right. I would have thought the Haunted House would have been Perth comedy. Yeah, well that's all you have. You just have a bunch of Perth comics in there. And it's... Tell them how it is.

It's only scary if you're a woman. No, yeah. We kind of have our Perth themed ride is that it's a small world after all. You know, it's like the little boat that you go on and we have little mannequins kind of singing songs about how the vaccine is poison.

I like this. No, I like this. We can have the fleety skill tester. It's just 20 bucks and you get a little crane. And then if you put the 20 bucks in, it's like that's tested your skill of gullibility. Nothing comes out. This is legitimately great.

Forget the bar in Thailand. Let's buy land and build comedy worlds. No, let's not forget the bar in Thailand. That's a fair point. That's a very fair point. Fucking asshole. It was four grand. It was a great venue.

Yes. Why didn't you do it? I'm so angry. No, you're right. I did ask. It's so shitty. I'm so angry about this. I'll look into it again. We'd be in profit right now. Because there were so many investors, we would not be in profit. No, you're right. I did ask. It's so shitty. I'm so angry about this. I'll look into it again.

We'd be in profit right now. Because there were so many investors, we would not be in profit. Yes, we would. There's no way. It's impossible to make a profit on a bar in Thailand. Oh, yeah, because there's no bars there. Yeah, but that's what I... It's bar central.

Yes, I know, but that's why we're not going to make any money. This is an attraction at Comedy World. It's Carl Chandler's Thai bar pyramid scheme that happens every hour on the hour. I can't believe I'm having to talk someone out of investing in a bar in Thailand. That's where I am. This is like the person in the timeshare meeting and the person running

it is like, it's actually not that good of a deal. No, no, this actually sounds great. Please let us buy in. One week a year? For 500 grand? That sounds awesome. There is a, you know what, there's as many Thai restaurants, and we've talked about this,

there's as many Thai restaurants in Melbourne, in CBD at the moment, there is bars in Thailand. They're popping up willy-nilly at the top of Bourke Street. There's one a week at this point. There is one, my new favourite, I don't know if we've talked about it, but I've got a new favourite called Barn Tie. And I found out Blakey, a friend of the show, Brett Blake,

went past one night at about 11 at night and he started filming. They had a band in there. They have a band in this restaurant at like 11 o'clock at night. But like not on a weekend, only on like Tuesdays and Wednesdays or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's comment. That's comment. Yeah. So if you stick around until 10, 11 o'clock at night, you can see the band. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's common. Yeah, so if you stick around until 10 or 11 o'clock at night, you can see the band. Also, they turn the menu over. They make a new menu

for the people that are in to see the band for some reason. That's clever. Yeah, so then I'm like, oh my God, and it was pumping. Yeah, of course. There's heaps of people in there.

I'm like, this looks awesome. So then the next week, I walked past and it was like 4.30. You know the magic time where they stop serving for like half an hour or something like that. So I walk past and there's a lady at the front a thai lady at the front on her phone and i'm interrupting her phone call i'm saying can you sorry but is the

band still playing tonight is the band do you still have the band playing tonight and she's like what you could just go in and check but no no phone call the place is closed yes so i go is a band and she's like what i'm like the band is the. Oh, sorry. It's a changeover period. Yes. So I go, is the band? And she's like, what? I'm like, the band. Is the band on tonight? And she's like, really confused with me.

I'm like, I want to come. Can I book to see the band? Do I need to book to see the band tonight? And she's like, oh, I don't know. And I'm like, but do I need to book or can I just walk in? She goes, I don't think so. I'm like, but I heard there's a band tonight. She goes, there is i go can i can i come to see the band tonight what do i need to do and she goes oh i don't think you'd like it yeah but why wouldn't i like it and she's like they're

a thai band yeah you wouldn't like it it's thai music you wouldn't understand don't come and i go but that's what i want to come i'm not coming up to a thai music you wouldn't understand don't come and i go but that's what i want to come i'm not coming up to a thai restaurant expecting something like well you are though because in in in bali at the they have cover bands that's not in thailand by the way i know that for a fact but they might be she might be trying to think you're conflating like because there's a cover band like they make you see it in movies and stuff like that. They'll often have, like, you'll hear. I've said this before. The number one.

Like the local, you know, Southeast Asian cover bands doing sort of pop songs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're hot. You think it's just going to be, she thinks that you think it's going to be a cover band. Tell me more about this. Bali's not in Thailand. I've said this before. The number one covered song in Thailand is It's My Life by Bon Jovi.

Yeah. That's awesome. That's awesomevi. Yeah, that's awesome. That's awesome. So anyway, she's done all she can to scare me off. And I'm like, I'm going to a Thai restaurant. I know, I know. And she just goes at the end, okay, up to you. And I'm like, all right, great. So after all that, I get there at 11 o'clock at night.

I walk in and there's a Thai band there playing Baby Hit Me One More Time by Britney Spears. And did you get it though? Yeah, not really my culture. That's wonderful. And how were they? Did they rock? They were alright. You know, I like Ms Spears' work.

So it was fine. Was that the, any other covers? Or were they then like going into Thai songs? Over and over again. No, I think that was the that over and over again. Yeah. No, I think that was the one I knew to sing along to. I think the rest of them I didn't know. Okay.

No, but I liked it. It was good. Yeah. Well, we got some correspondence that I wanted to quickly bring up. The other week we were reading out a name of a Patreon subscriber. Good people. Who had put in a fake name and a fake address so what we do at the end of the show

at Talking Dumb Dumb we read out every week we read out anywhere between one and ten thousand names of people that subscribe to us on Patreon

we read their names out we riff on the names mostly positive well there's been one or two of them over the years every now and then cheeky ones

I've had a couple of them all in love but sometimes people don't want their names to be read out so they'll be on there under a fake name the years every now and then yeah every now and then all in all in love but somewhat like sometimes people don't want their names to be read out so they'll they'll be on there under a fake name right i got you gotcha and then carl's trick is to often you can see the email address that they've subscribed under and most people's email address are just like first name dot last name at whatever and so this this person had subscribed under the email address dumdumfan69 at gmail.com. That's clever. Yeah, that's good. So we thought...

69 is a fun... That's a sexual position. I believe... Hang on. I'll fact check that. I've never put that together. Ben's right. But what's a dumdum69?

Yeah. Uh-oh. Just two blokes talking to each other's assholes. No, it's two blokes that haven't flipped around yet. Face to face. Two blokes practicing. This is what I thought it was going to be. This is more of a back to front 66.

This is a good theme for one of the rides at Comedy World. Maybe like the Gravitron can be the dum-dum 69. You're going up, you're going down. So yeah, because then we realised you can't just like, if you've subscribed on Patreon, you can't just put the email address into the field. It has to be like a valid email address in order to validate your account. Well, this person's using this account.

So I sent them an email on the air to just be like, hey, how you going, dumdumfan69? Ask them a few questions. And I got a response back from them. Long time listener here. Heard my shout out in the name read this week. I was on Patreon under a silly little fake name and then that fucker Carl read my name out from my email address. I had half a mind to call him up on 0438.

No, don't do that. Instead, I resubbed under a new fake name. I already had the email address for some time. Carl was right. I don't get many emails here. I only use this address for Patreon and to buy drugs online anonymously. That's excellent.

I do hope local small-time weed dealers are finding and enjoying the show. Small-time. This fascinated me, the idea that someone on the Silk Road is seeing this email address and being like, what is this dum-dum thing I keep getting emails from this guy about? And maybe we have some big kingpins that have gotten onto the pod just

through their dealing with... Feel free to commit crimes under the name Tommy Dasso or Carl Chandler. Just so it comes back to us. Yeah, any promo is good promo. Can you email for drugs? I believe so. Because the Silk Road got shut down. They found him. I think probably they...

A, they don't know what they're talking about. And B, they sign up to maybe a wicker or a signal using that email address. Oh, what's that mean? A wicker and signal. I mean, I have to preface this by I'm totally sober now, which is very boring. Allegedly. Hypothetically. But it may shock the listener to know that I used to love drugs. Okay.

Interesting. Legends. So, Wicker and Signal, everyone, is where all the drug dealers are, and it's an encrypted chat. Similar to WhatsApp, right? Yeah, but even more encrypted. Like, you can't be, like, you can't have your messages leaked. I remember after one of the lockdowns, like getting the mania for going out,

like first night out after a lockdown and a friend saying to me like, oh, yeah, we need to get some stuff. Like there's this app Signal. I can send you the guy's contact and be like, okay. And not really knowing what it was and talking to another friend and going, hey, you're into this stuff. Have you got Signal? And they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I was like, oh, okay. Well, yeah, can you hit up this guy? And then like 10 minutes later them being like, yeah yeah yeah and i was like oh okay well yeah can you hit up this guy and then like 10 minutes later then being like yeah i'm downloading the app i'm like i you said you had the app i asked you and she's like this is really embarrassing but i thought you just meant reception yeah i was like oh yeah i've got it baby i've got five bars right now the thing about like those programs is that you can get notifications and it tells you who in your contacts has signed up. So I used to get all these like, oh, your friend has signed up for Wicker

and the only reason why you signed up for Wicker is to get drugs. So you knew who to party with. So the messages are encrypted, but it is telling you this friend of yours bought drugs. It's like the computer version of the old sneakers on the power line out the front of your house. This person is cool. So Signal and Wick are gone from the Ben Russell telephone

now that he's sober. He had to bid a fond farewell to the contacts. See you later, boys. Thanks for everything. See you, dumdum69. Thanks for all the See you, dumdum69. Thanks for all the lack of

memories. Well, we wanted to bring this up this week because this is something that we

thought might be in your wheelhouse, especially you, Ed. Two things close to your heart.

So, for starters, it's food related. I like food. Well, yeah, well,

you're not known for food as much these days. I could be. I could be known for food. Okay, well, mate, well, here's your chance to be known for these days. I could be. I could be known for food. Okay, well, mate, well, here's your chance to be known for food.

This is your chance. It's a polite way of saying you've lost weight. Ben Russell, known for food. Ed, now, I think maybe the last time I saw you in the flesh was in South Yarra. I was walking, you were walking from Channel 10, I was walking from the supermarket. Yes. With a muscle protein meal. Oh, yes.

You had a meal in your hand. I walked towards you and just you... I walked towards you. You came towards me. You smiled at me, said hi, and without another word, just grabbed the meal off me, turned it around, and as talking to me, just went through the ingredients in your head

and just kept the conversation going. That's right. Just checking on what I was doing. What did I say as I gave it back and you walked away? What did I yell after you? Well, you didn't say a word about it. I just went, what's going on? What are you looking for in your life?

And I go, is this good to eat? And you're like, absolutely not. Yeah. No. That's how you know. As I referenced. It's My Muscle Chef. Yeah.

It's a muscly chef. I appreciate My Muscle Chef's work and long may they reign and long may they pay me to do ads if they want to but you know I did yell something at you because I remember this but you might have

your podcast might have gone one thing I like about you every time I see you you've always got ear pods in so you're always listening to something like me you've got a hectic

listening schedule which I always respect big secret I'm not actually listening to much at all half the time nothing's on they're just noise cancelling here

why have you got them on I just have them on in case I'm going to like a lot of times actually listening to much at all. Half the time, nothing's on. Half the time, nothing's on. They're just noise cancelling here. Why haven't you got them on? I just have them on in case I'm going to... A lot of the time, I'll talk to someone on the phone and then I'll hang up and I'll just leave them in there because whatever. You're going to put them in eventually? Yeah. What's the point?

Exactly. Yeah, that's it. That's like when you're a kid and you go through that phase where you're like, if I just sleep in my school uniform... Genius. When I get up in the morning, I can sleep for 15 minutes. And then you go to school, you just feel awful. You're like, I'm all sweaty.

Yeah, I got sweaty earbuds in my ears most of the time. I slept in them. But you didn't hear what I yelled after you then? Oh, no, no. I probably did, again, because I had nothing playing. But I thought you – hang on, let me guess. Was it something like wipe off the sauce? Yes, that's what it was.

Don't eat the sauce. Don't eat the sauce. Don't eat the sauce. Don't eat the sauce on the My Muscle Chef. All the calories are in the sauce. Yeah, don't eat the sauce. Yeah. So I'm glad you've had this. I mention this a lot when you're on the show, Ed.

Having worked in an office with Ed Cavalli, you can't hit the bain-marie on the days that Ed's in the office. Right. I was about to say, did Ben Russell hear the advice and I didn't? Did you hear it as get off the sauce? Get off the sauce, yeah. I was like, oh, okay, good idea. Wow.

It's like a perfect name for a brand, My Muscle Chef, because you're reading it and you're thinking, this is going to make me muscly. It's a little package thing for about $10. It's supposed to be what you have it after the gym, those sort of meals, the prepackaged meals in the supermarket the supermarket it's in the right place but you can't it's hard to make pre-packaged meals that can stick around for a long time totally they're going to be super healthy and delicious but you're but you're assuming when you read that that the chef has

cooked food that's going to make you muscly but all it's really saying is that the chef himself is muscly that's the whole he's cooking you up absolute shit. He's buff. He's not making any promises about what he's going to do to you. He doesn't give a fuck about you. He wants to get rid of the competition. Until there's only one buff man left in the world. Until I'm so buff I can take on the iron chef.

He's cooking away at Christ. I'd never eat this. You'd never catch me putting this filth in my body Yeah Because if it Wow In order for something to be healthy It has to taste like dog shit

As my friend As my mate used to say to me Every time He'd say All my meals had been run Through the blander That used to be Oh

I like that That is the key way Yeah That's good That's the key moment That's good So But now it's all about blue zones

Eat whatever's gonna make you live to 100 Blue zones Yeah so that's the key moment. That's good. But now it's all about blue zones. Eat whatever's going to make you live to 100. Blue zones? Yeah, so there's... Look, Netflix did a recent doco about it, which normally means, how do you know something's not true? I saw it in a Netflix documentary, right? So those aren't stranger things?

They are not at this point. They're not. They're just normal things in that show. Okay. It was people all along. By the way, that show, how can anyone watch it? Look, how can anyone watch it? How can anyone watch that show?

Every season is exactly the same. Oh no, someone's been taken downstairs. We can't speak to them. Can't we get that girl with all of the powers in the world to save us? Yes, we can. See you next season. It's a writer's strike, right? And good luck to them.

I could write Stranger Things this afternoon. He'd cross the picket line For Stranger Things Waving a script Australia's Drew Barrymore Ed Cavill Pumping out Stranger Things spec scripts Wasn't that wonderful

My muscle scab How about Drew Barrymore going I've got to start my show again I've got all these people I care about What was the Because I'm going to Because the writers are striking

What was the shock In that story Ben Russell That she had a show She has a Russell? That she had a show. She has a show, yeah. A, that she had a show, and B, that it had writers. Yeah. It had writers on this thing. He's a live chat from Ash Williams.

Ash, I'm doing the Dum Dum Club. You're live on the Dum Dum Club. What would you like to say? Suck me off. Okay, see you soon. Thanks to my muscle chef. Maybe we should have him on. Don't eat the sauce.

But yeah, strangely, those fucking eight-year-olds are like 37 now too. And that is... I've got to wrap this thing up. So that is always wonderful. When people, you know, the propubity then hits child actors at a different speed, like what happened in...

Because my son's watching Harry. My son's starting to send me watch Harry Potter even though I'm vehemently against it for similar plot hole reasons

but I've been over this in other areas but you can't go Harry don't eat that sauce yeah

is it in the sauce why would you send your kid to a school no it's called a sauce or a dad the other sauce is just an aura

why would you send your kid to a school no it's called a source or a dad without the source it's just an error why would you send your kid to a school where one of the students is causing teachers to be murdered and giant dogs to attack on the daily the other parents

would call the school and say kick that little shit out he's making people get murdered yeah you're right so that's just second year you'd think

like yeah there is no parent teacher association at Hogwarts because they would rally and they would get that little fucker kicked out. It's just a public school.

That's all it is. The kids get kicked out for taking a peanut butter sandwich to school and yet this little shit teacher is murdered and he's allowed to come back. Yes. Anyway. Hey, because you get these things stuck in your head.

Now, again, one of the last times I talked to you, we're going to get back to food very quickly, but I need to ask you this question. You did have a very strong conspiracy theory last time I saw you. You were going to predict

the entire results of the World, the Soccer World Cup, the last World Cup. Did you get that right in the end? Yes. I believe you did.

I was right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I got it. What were your complete predictions that you got right? First one was the second

that Denmark came out with a protest jersey against FIFA, Ben. Then I said they were in our group and they were ranked 14 in the world. And we ranked 1,000. And I was like, forget it. Denmark are losing. They're going home early. That's the first thing that happened.

We beat them. They copped the decision here and there. No worries. I said, don't even worry about it. Argentina is going to win because at that stage, well, look, long and boring stories, but the machinations of the way that the football is influenced, not rigged, meant that it was time for Argentina to win and for various other teams to do well.

The thing I didn't get right was that they needed Saudi Arabia to have a run, but that didn't work because they beat Argentina, so that's what they get some praise, and now they can fuck off, but they needed a country in that area Argentina so that's what they get some praise and now they can fuck off but they needed a country in that area or in that sort of ilk culturally it was hosted in Qatar

yeah it was in Qatar so Morocco got to be the team that went as far as they possibly could and then so it wasn't it was rigged it wasn't that

it's influenced sorry it was influenced it wasn't that Argentina had the best player in the world playing for their team it was no no it is that but it's like there's growth there's a certain amount of teams that can win but it's about who's allowed to win okay yeah and argentina was the best choice

at that point because you gotta remember that the day after the two days after the world cup in qatar yeah it all the the idea was that saudi arabia would get the one in 2030 so that was the opening the door for that and the first and now since that fifa has told saudi arabia i'm sorry you can't have the world cup we got too much heat from qatar there's other places we can get money and they said that's fine how about we buy club football which is why they pivoted first thing they did was offer messi 500 million dollars a year to go and play in saudi arabia uh but instead he took the money from a much worse organisation, the Apple Corporation, and so to play it in Miami. And instead of that, they've bought club football.

So all club football going forward, Chandler, will be built through the lens of Saudi Arabia. You hear about the Apple Corporation stoning gays today as well. Now do the train timetable. What year? Thank you to soccer cooker Ed Cavill. That was your fault. You opened that door to that hell house.

I felt very guilty about five minutes into that explanation because I've got two people who could not give a fuck about it. But here's the thing. At the haunted house, you just open a door and it's just me standing there. And I lock it and say, Now, the thing about Sandy or Abram and Sokka is, see if you can get yourself out of there. But that's a topic for another day.

Everyone's got their thing, don't they? Where it's like, please don't ask me this. What are your things? Someone messaged me the other day. They were with their friend and they were like, hey, my friend's thinking about buying a Nintendo Switch. And then follow-up question, can they go straight in on the brand new Zelda or should they go back? And they got like an eight minute voice okay so that's your thing so that's

your thing yeah okay so nintendo specifically zelda where does it end where does it end yeah like what are your areas in uh pretty much all of it at this point okay yeah but not like current pc games yeah a little bit of that Alright but really hardcore Because all of the figurines here Oh yeah Are from sort of 90s 2000s Yeah yeah that's the sweet spot Nintendo

Yeah that's the sweet spot Alright that's your area But I'm up to date with it as well Okay Ben what are yours? What are your areas where you're just like Where people are like fuck What's your mastermind subject? Oh fuck I don't even know

It used to be drugs And now you're searching for I mean I'm a big A long time Star Trek fan. Oh, well, yeah, there's one. But also... But can you go forever on it? Yeah, pretty much.

Great. I know all, I've seen all of them. Okay. I know all of them. I grew up with it. Deep Space Nine or Voyager? Deep Space Nine. Correct.

Have you ever, have you ever dressed up as a character from Star Trek for any reason? No, no, because I have some little glimmer of self-respect. Boring. Boring. But you could go, but let's just say you met someone else who was into it. Yeah. Imagine ever that happening. Yeah.

Would you just go, that's it? We're good? We can go forever here? Yeah, absolutely. Oh, great. But I also go through phases where I just hope I focus on something. So at the moment it's like AI. Oh, great. But I also go through phases where I just hope I focus on something. So at the moment it's like AI. Oh, okay.

Because I'm like, what's all the fuss about? So I'm trying to create my own little AI. You're on the side of the studios. You're like, this sounds cool. And make little movies and clips. You're writing for Drew Barrymore. We're going to be in movies and clips. So you can use different programs and then download it locally onto your computer

and then train it up. You have to learn how to use it. But what are made of like what are the what's in the clips so you would prompt i haven't gotten there yet i can make photo realistic pictures now but of things that never existed or they're sort of because they're basically composites so you said like a what uh i'm an attractive improviser making love to a Vulcan man yeah so what I do is is that I I put I train

before you brought that up I was verging on this sounds like Saudi Arabia soccer again I was like tuning out but now I'm into it now I'm into it

so what I do is I train I upload photos of my face and train it into a Laura what they call and then I put that Laura

and I say, erotic video of a little man kissing Spock. Right. And I probably get a Spock Laura as well. And then I break that into two because you can't, because it'll like freak that out. Anyway, there's like a whole bunch of- But then he can do it.

Yeah, I can do it. All right. Well, you've got to do that. Could you make that? You guys have got to put that up on your socials. No, you are. Him making it was spot on. That is, come on.

You've got to fight. I got homework. You are the villain from every sci-fi movie about seven years ago. You realise that, don't you? The guy that's gotten like, this is ex-Mackina. The guy that's like super into his sci-fi. Keanu Reeves has to fight you at some stage. I made a song with Snoop Dogg.

I wrote a rap and then got Snoop Dogg to voice it with one of those early ones. Oh, wow. You won many. The Logulog. Is that yours? Anyway, back to food. But I was like, the reason I did that,

I really don't care about any of this. I was enjoying that. It's bad and everyone's afraid of it. I was like, I reason I did that, I really don't care about any of this. Even though AI is bad and everyone's afraid of it, I was like, I'm going to get ahead of this because I don't want to be left behind. You want to be in control. Well, it's like TikTok. I was like, nah, TikTok's for kids and all of a sudden it takes over. I'm like, well, fuck me. You don't want to be left behind.

You also want the AI to be sympathetic to you when it takes over because it's like it remembers you training it and treating it nicely. Yes, that's a great point. Anyway, back to food. Sorry, alright. Sorry. I'm going to make a Carl Chandler porno.

Yeah, there we go. Again. People driving along about to swerve their cars off the road being like, I'm about to learn something on this podcast.

Fuck no. What happens in this porno? He walks into a Thai restaurant. They're playing Hit Me Baby one more time. That's uprooting the whole band. The Kizzy Warner house. So I thought you'd be into this because it's food. Also, it's the closest we ever get to being on radio.

This feels like a radio call-in topic. So we said ages ago, and we've done it again, we've done it again, we've said to our listeners on socials, what's the food, what's the weird food that you won't eat, that you don't like?

Not like, trying not to be like, you know when people go, oh yeah, I don't like Brussels sprouts. It's like, can I help you? Can I help you?

If this was actual radio, you would use the phrase, what's the everyday food that you don't like actual radio, you would use the phrase, what's the everyday food that you don't like? Okay, beautiful. Because the weird food people driving along would think, artichoke? Well, we're just... I'm trying to say like...

You're weird for not liking it. If you said, I don't like this, everyone would say, what the fuck is wrong with you? What's the everyday food that you don't like? Yes. This is our version of a call-in topic where we actually did... We gave out the topic about nine months ago. Yes.

Only just now. Yes. Mostly just now. Yes. Where the people have filled their forms and they've sent them back by a lock bag. It was funny because then I put it up

again on socials and I saw a couple of people like do it again but like elaborate or change their choices of what they don't like. I had to think about it. This is how we do it.

It's like the referendum, guys. We go into the polls on October the 9th and you're going to vote. Get ready. What do it. It's like the referendum, guys. We're going to the polls on October the 9th, and you're going to vote. Get ready. Just like the referendum, you're going to be disappointed. Now, do you guys have one? Do you guys have one?

Yeah. Look, carrot. Carrot. Oh, just everything. Yeah. Everything about it. It's just so – it's tough, but there's no flavor. It claims to be sweet, but it's not sweet.

It's used as a non-delicious filler. So every time, as a man who goes to Thai restaurants, you can tell a bad Thai restaurant by the amount of carrot they put in their stir fries to fill it out. Yeah, yeah. That's my first thing. Very dense. Thank you.

That's the first thing I look at, Ben. When I get a stir fry, if I see non-stop carrot, I go, fuck this joint. Really? Because it's a non-delicious filler always used by restaurants trying to get away with something. Oh, because I see that as cauliflower. Cauliflower in a stir fry.

I think that's the same deal. Because it's bigger as well. It's big as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It fills the tubs. That's interesting. I always get slivers of carrot. I quite like carrot in stir fries.

I really like it. Okay, but all right. Okay, yeah. I'd hate to... I have to agree with the carrot. Really? Because I have a policy where I'll try every food

Like I don't Like to say Where have you drawn the line? I used to have a problem With like oysters But then I was like No if I just keep Trying

Trying it I'm going to find An oyster that I like And now I don't mind them Okay What do you mean an oyster That you like? What was it?

Which one was it? Just a way Just to Get in the taste for it Yeah you train yourself It's the same with like I didn't like olives. And then I just kept, I was like, the Italians can't be wrong about anything.

Right, right. So which oyster got you across the line? Kill Patrick? No, no, no. Do you remember the specific oyster where you're like, oh, I like these now. I was out shucking one day. Beautiful Sydney-like oyster. Ah, rock ones.

And with a nice bit like vinaigrette. Oh, yeah. It was the freshness. It was in the situation you were in. You were outside having a party with friends and you had the oyster and you went, you know what, now I associate that oyster with the good times. Boom. No, I think it was just like, oh, this finally tastes good.

Because usually I was like, ugh, but now I can be like, oh, it's creamy. I don't think I've ever done that with food, but that was like when your kids start having your first beer and you go, this is the worst. This is terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you're around parties all the time. I'm like, I guess I'm drinking this. I remember thinking when I was a kid like,

oh, this stuff's disgusting. That's handy. I'm just going to live a full productive life and be someone who doesn't drink. And now I'm a fucking, I can't get through the day without one. Yeah, they have one yeah with carrot there's nothing I hate

more than having carrot in like a roll or a burger thank you just ruin a burger by putting carrot I've never seen carrot in a burger

sometimes some maniacs will shred it grilled they're on it at the moment I love their fucking carrot yeah but listen once again a fine company

and I'd love to keep I'd love to continue my association with them yeah that's why this isn't commercial radio because we're having a swing at companies Once again, a fine company and I'd love to continue my association with them. That's why this isn't commercial radio because we're having a swing at companies. Can I ask you, you say you don't want to say no to anything. Let's say, what about being in a foreign country?

Let's say you're in Japan and someone serves you up horse. Are there any animals that you would draw the line and not eat if they were for you? Probably dog. You wouldn't eat dog? Human, the ultimate dark meat. I'd give it a shot. I wouldn't give human or dog. I do truly think I would be more likely. If I had to pick between eating a human and eating a dog.

I've often thought about this. So you know how everyone's all on about, there's lab-grown diamonds now. So the idea being that lab-grown diamonds are now just going to, no more diamonds, right? Now the big one is lab-grown meat. Can they get out of the paddocks, get rid of the methane?

Yep. Right. Et cetera, et cetera, right? This is where we're headed, Mr. AI.

Yes. All right. I'm all about this. How far away are we? Someone donates their body. Yep. Lab grown human meat for sale. Get a cav burger.

Hold the sauce. Don't tell me on Necker Island, Richard Branson trying to be cool, trying to one-up every other billionaire. Yeah. Because this did happen to me once where I was overseas and they were serving a local. I was with a friend of mine who was a local and out with some people they knew and they served something

and they were just putting in front of me like everyone was waiting. I was like, oh, this is obviously something that's been domesticated where I'm from. Had a bite. They all fall about laughing. Lots of mime. Lots of sort of hands up. You ate my cum.

There you go. Domesticated in Australia. My muscle cum. And then, you know, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, right, which I do remember. But What about Alright Dasolo what about you So what was it in the end

Yeah what was it What was it Have a guess What would it be Dog Dog probably Oh no But I hate dogs

When I was in high school I couldn't care less I can't remember what country it was So you'd eat dog If it was If you got told it was dog It just wasn't great That was the issue

They were like Ha ha ha And I was like The issue is not great Yeah yeah yeah Anything Like a Meat eating animal Is not going to be A delicious meal Thank you That was the issue They were like Ha ha ha And I was like The issue is not great Yeah yeah yeah Anything Like a meat eating animal Is not going to be

A delicious meal Thank you Oh okay You need them grain fed baby That's the trick When I was in high school I can't remember What country he'd been to

But the fattest man At my school Came back from an overseas trip And was like Yeah I ate dog While I was there And it was just like Of course you did

Yeah yeah But also Was it served up Or did you just Grab it off the street? It's a running past. All right. So let's get the, I'm sure there's plenty of talk about some of the, these fucking freak listeners of ours and the things that they've chosen.

Now, what do you think about this? Let's start with maybe an easy one. Jeremy hates ice cream. Yeah, okay. What a psychopath. How do you do that? Do they have an explanation? This one doesn't.

Context is like, is it too cold? Is it the, you know, like. This is also our version of the call in. They say two words and then hang up the phone. This is so true. Jeremy, where have you. They say two words and then hang up in front of me. Which is so true. Jeremy, where have you gone? Jeremy! Are they lactose intolerant?

No, but I tried to say that like not something you can't have. Just something that you don't want. Ice cream, all right, that's a... The thing that you hate. Yes. I don't eat much of it because it's like it's, you know, you've got to keep yourself... Sickly.

Yeah, you've got to keep yourself at arm's length from stuff like that. Well, it's the old one of the what's the thing they hate when you ask people who work in an ice cream shop do you just eat ice cream all day yeah and they always say

you get over it and they say it really deadpan and you go wow that must happen quickly like anything my dad worked in like a lollies factory and they just go

and you know everyone that works in there to start with is like oh I wonder how much we get and they like I wonder if we could smuggle it out

and the bosses are like fucking go for it boys do whatever the fuck you want eat them all and they go great and then the first day they eat all these lollies and the second day we go

oh we never want to eat lollies ever again that's right you get it's certainly I used to work in a meth lab and uh never get tired

that's where you got that soccer conspiracy you just eat more right okay those guys loved it it is probably it is worth it to just let them go hog wild for one day. They'll burn themselves out. Whereas if you say to them,

no, guys, you're not allowed to eat any of the lollies on the factory line. It's so true. It becomes planned. I wonder if that's the policy in a cigarette factory. In a cigarette factory. Go! Day one, you've got to smoke this whole box. All right.

Well, I'll give you something with context. Daniel, how's this? Hi, Daniel. Hi, Daniel. Thanks for listening. What are you doing, Daniel? Daniel, I don't eat toast. I eat bread, eat pizza.

I just don't eat toast. I don't like the taste or texture. Interesting. See, I don't really eat toast, but I don't have anything against it. Yeah, exactly.

There's plenty of things you don't eat, but for someone to go, no, I hate it. I cannot eat toast. What about crackers? I need follow-up. Can you ask Daniel, what about crackers? Is it the heat? That's a different thing.

But is it the heat? Is it the heat and the... Yeah, I'm trying to think of... Wait for the toast to cool down. Comparable texture to toast would be... Because pizza's like crisp. Yeah. The base.

It's not a million miles away from toast. This is the thing with these things. I imagine I've got a couple of these where you have these inexplicable things where you go, I like this, but I don't like this. Give it to me. Well, all right. Are we covered with that? I don't like toast.

That's just a weird. By the way, it's a shame if this was true radio talk back, we'd also be getting the suburb of where the person is from as well. Thank you so much. It's a shame we don't have that. Well done. From Taylor's Lakes. So what you have to do, if anyone's ever interested, and they're not,

but if you ever find yourself doing this, the key, Ben, is that you don't let them, because I will often be the person throwing the callers in shows, you don't say something to them that allows them to say, hello, how are you? Because that wastes time. So let's say Daniel lives in Taylor's Lakes and the topic is what's the ordinary food that you don't like?

You would say, Daniel's called in from Taylor's Lakes. Daniel, yours is a breakfast food. Yeah. You lead him in. Oh, yeah, it's toast. Rather than, Daniel from Taylor's Lakes. Hey, guys, how are you? Fuck. Yeah. Before I get into it, Husey, Rather than... Daniel from Taylor's Lakes. Hey, guys, how are you? Fuck.

Yeah, before I get into it, Hughesy, where do you get your ideas? Of course, his joke book. And so... I'll fill this one. Is it now Shervo's joke book? Oh, yeah, that's a good question. Okay.

So, all right. Hey, I could write Shervo's joke book. Yeah. Now, have you got one of these ones? Have you got one of these ones where you like one thing like that? You like pizza. You don't like pizza. I don't.

What is it? You like pizza, but you don't like toast. Right. So, Matthew hates tomato. Oof. Okay. Right? I got a friend like this.

Hang on. We got it. Now we're going to guess. Now we're going to guess. We're going to guess. We're going to guess. So, he hates tomato. Oh, I reckon I know.

But. Go. Likes ketchup. Like sauce. Yeah. Likes tomato sauce. Yes. It's the viscosity. It's the I reckon I know. Go. Likes ketchup. Likes sauce. Likes tomato sauce. It's the viscosity. It's the texture.

Yeah, also, I mean, the sauce has sugar. It's got salt. 100%. It's got salt. What is tomato except for just a diluter of sandwiches? Yes, yes. Yeah. Binding agent.

A dampener of sandwiches. It just dampens. It ruins. It's just a wet blanket, literally. I'll expand on it. I'm like Matthew. Do sandwiches. It just dampens. It ruins. It's just a wet blanket, literally. I'll expand on it. I'm like Matthew. Do not, will not cop tomato. Will not cop it.

Will not cop tomato sauce. Will cop tomato soup. This is you? This is me. Wow. The sweetness that offends you. You like it back to its more sort of tart. The texture.

What about cold gazpacho? What about cold tomato soup? Which is wrong. No. Yeah, thank you so much. No, he's getting annoyed. He's getting tomato sauce on a burger and he's like, I just want a whole fucking bowl of this stuff. Get this other shit out of here.

What's the difference? Give me a spoon. No, that's what I mean. Exactly. What's the difference? I don't know, but you know those things you just get in your head and you go, okay, this is... No, I love that.

Also, what sort of tomato... There are many tomato soups. You can't just say tomato soup. There's tomato soup. There's tomato bisque. You can have a lot of like a green boy. What's in bisque? Is that the one with seafood?

The bisque is a, I see it. The bisque that I used to have were like real creamy. Oh, yuck. Yucky tomatoes. Yuck. I've got, I think I've got something physically against the tomato itself. You cut it in and it looks, it sort of looks like, I don't know, something bad's happening. Something, something wrong's happened.

Aesthetically, it's hard to get a beautiful looking slice of tomato. Yeah. You're right. It's like me. I love eating meat. I love eating beef. But I wouldn't chew the face off a cow. I don't want to see what's coming.

Tomatoes are the scrotums of the vegetable world. You know, when you do an ad for food, which I've done a few times, the two things that take the longest which you always make sure you tell them you don't want to be there for that right you say someone look at my hands great when you need the close-up of just hands doing things i'm fucking out of here right so there's two things that they do so i once did an ad where we had to have uh meat on a plate with mashed potatoes and peas. And I was ready to go. I'd done my bit and I hadn't done the hand thing.

So I was still around. What is this an ad for? With a plate with mashed potato and peas on it? No, and meat. Oh, right. Yeah, it was when I did a lamb ad for Red Rooster. Now, I don't know if you know that Red Rooster did lamb, but all I'll say is that it was-

Well, it's obvious in the title. No. Well, I'll say it was a six six month campaign that wrapped up after two weeks so can I quickly just say that wow I never forgive Red Roost

because they ruined their strip sub can you they're a fine company and I'd love to get back on board yeah they got rid of the flavour wrap too I'm with you

they fucked around with the menu they did if they ever bring back lamb I think that their burgers are still are actually better what do you mean what happened

the strip sub they got, they changed the chicken. Because they went full. Tenderloin? They went full fried chicken land instead of that beautiful Ingram strip. Oh, okay. And what happened to the other one? I think they got rid of it. And I also don't respect it.

In 2022, they went, guess what, guys? We're doing fried chicken now. You've missed the boat. Stay in your fucking lane. What you did was great. On this ad, so we were there for ages. And so what happened was I did a sort of a take of the, this is delicious.

And then they sort of go over to the screens where the client, Red Rooster, with the advertising agency and all these other agencies, fucking knows what they're doing. And it took forever, right? And now back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and back and forth, back and forth. and forth and then they came back came up honestly like oh my car i was like close to an hour because i was looking at my washing fucking hell i wish i should didn't say the hand shit right we come over there and they go and the guy

finally director comes over and he goes we finally solved it this will be so much better and we did it they went did something with the food i had to get my makeup retouched i came back i said what happened he goes it was driving us crazy. The meal didn't look right, but we finally cracked it. It's so much better now. And I looked down, looked the same.

I go, what did you do? And he goes, we removed four peas. That's great. In the control room, get Dustin Hoffman in here. Get him in. He's looking at four peas too many. Okay. All right. I almost did like an online thing for Snickers and they were like, In the control room Get Dustin Hoffman in here Get him in Looking at a full piece too many Ah okay

Alright I almost did like an online thing For Snickers And they were like Can you bite into it like Mr. T Except not sexual And I was like What?

I have no idea What the fuck you're talking about I know exactly what they mean So that was the note they gave you Yeah And let me guess So I'm miming that Did they want it to go

Sort of Snickers towards The side of the mouth but don't get that tongue too far over in the far end of the mouth because then we're in cock town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ben, can you stop sucking off the Snickers bar? We've had too many actors come in here and make the chocolate cum. I bit into it and I went cross-eyed.

The talent's requesting one of the king-sized ones. This one's barely touching the sides, apparently. Ben, Ben, we said in your mouth. In your mouth. You're not yourself when you're hungry. I'm just like Joe Pesci before I've sucked off a Snickers bar. Is that still available to be viewed? I know we're asking for you to put nuts in your mouth,

but that's not what we meant. Oh, this really satisfies me. And had you ever met the gentleman called Snickers before, man? An online ad. An online ad. My name's Snickers. I went into some guy's basement. Hello, I filmed this thing two years ago and it's never gone to air.

It went to air. It was on RedTube. How else is Ben's AI meant to learn about sucking dick if he doesn't feed it that footage? Well, I'd love for them... I knew there was a reason I wanted to talk about this subject. Great.

Oh, man. That's a great note. That's a great note. Yeah. Great. So, all right. We That's a great note. Yeah. Great. So, all right. We've got a couple of these versions off, which I just, before this, I just didn't know. I just didn't know that this is possible.

Edward, Matt, and Lauren, amongst many others, chocolate. Wow. Now, heaps more common than you think. A lot of people, it makes them sick, Ben. Like, they get a, there's something in it, and they'll often, that's why dark chocolate was getting so much of a run, partly because folks were getting something. Again, I'm assuming because I asked for this, not stuff you can't eat or you're allergic to.

No, I think that's what they mean. I need you to go back to them. I think they mean. I'm taking it as that. Here we go. Here we go. Here's an explanation from Matt, right? Chocolate is highly overrated.

I don't mind if something includes chocolate, but just the idea of eating pieces of chocolate as a snack is gross. No, I got it. The adoration of chocolate is odd, but I see what he's... That person seems like a nightmare to be around. Do you know what they need to watch? The idea of Ben Russell's online Snickers video. I used to hate chocolate.

Until I saw this man sucking off a Snickers bar. I watched it. But to be honest, I thought that he ate it a little bit too sexually, a la Mr. T. What had happened with Mr. T? Well, he obviously got cancelled for eating chocolate too sexually. The T stands for throat. He pitted the fool a little too much

unbelievable you know what on the A team remember when they used to knock him out to get him on the plane when they knocked him out I think they were

doing other things to him he's asleep do it poor Mr T alright chocolate Jesus yeah that's interesting that's a big one

but I don't know I love a choccy but then on the flip side Lauren listen Lauren she hates chocolate flavoured anything milk, ice cream, cake Yeah, that's interesting. That's a big one. But I don't know. I love a choccy. But then on the flip side, Lauren, listen, Lauren, she hates chocolate flavoured anything. Milk, ice cream, cake, hate it all, but could eat a block of dairy milk in my sleep.

Yeah, okay. I mean, I can understand that because... Where the fuck are these people hooked up? Because I don't like milk, but I love cheese. Explain that. Okay. Can't. I can't.

Exactly. I win. Exactly. I'm so complicated and interesting. I don't know about that because to me, obviously they have ingredients, but you don't drink milk and then eat cheese and go, did I just have the same thing twice?

Yeah, that's what happened. If you got the right ad, if you're blindfolded and did the Pepsi Coke challenge, which one's milk and which one's cheese? It's like, I fucking reckon I've got this one. What is the best chocolate milk? I never drink it. No, not at all.

Every now and then I will get a Nippy's. That's fun, isn't it? That's a bit of fun. That's a bit of fun. My daughter loves it. What about the oak? I used to have an oak because that was... Oh, too thick.

They've got those weird like veggie gum thickeners in there. Yeah, that's what I liked about it. I hate that. They're just like... It's like drink and spit. That's the big difference. Yeah, okay. You say you don't like milk, but for the right ad, I reckon you'd growl at a carton of pure ice.

But like I'm saying, for you to go milk, but I do like cheese. That's like, I used to have a run on this show like years ago. I didn't eat bread for a year. And then people kept going yeah but you eat pies I'm like bread's not a fucking pie pastry is completely different

that's madness it's not a fucking thing people kept going it's the same thing I'm like look at a loaf of bread and look at a pie no one's going to the footy

and wiping sauce on a fucking loaf of sunny crust you put butter on anything I bet there are a few I saw an online video once where Ben Ross on a fucking loaf of sunny crust. You put butter on anything. I bet. Same thing. There are a few.

I saw an online video once where Ben Russell had hollowed out a loaf of bread. Yeah. And not with his mouth. That's what I meant. All right. All right. All right.

Okay. Let's go. On commercial radio, this is death. These would all need to be set up Printed out for me Or on the screen Sorry

I'd be in a pink song Real fast Yep Right Josh Yeah okay Josh Hates

Salt Yeah Hard to avoid Josh That's crazy Hard to avoid man Salt is the spice Jesus The number one spice

What started this whole thing It's the number one spice Out of everything It's like a friend of mine Did a diet thing She The number one spice. It's what started this whole thing. It's the number one spice. Out of everything. It's like a friend of mine did a diet thing. She was having like stomach issues and did the exclusion diet, all that stuff, and found out like she's got, I forget what it's called, but it's like basically garlic and onion, they're gone. And I'm like, what are you fucking eating?

That's flavor, baby. That's everything. We have a mutual friend who's got something similar. Yeah. And the question, is there garlic in that, is just the eternal battle. Because the answer is always in. Where are you traveling? Where are you going?

Secret vampire. Yeah. That's what it is. Italian out. Most Asian stuff out. You've got to get in front of an early. Can I have that with no garlic? I've got to blah, blah, blah.

Yeah. But even then, you can't ever trust That garlic's not Going to end up in there In the kitchen Same with salt You don't like salt That's hard Salt is in fucking Literally everything

That you can make Salt makes things better Yeah Thank you Thank you so much You're welcome I'm a hero I'm brave for saying that

Eating chips without salt And going yummy And then eating chips with salt And going This is going to make me puke That is an intriguing situation. Hot chips with no salt. I'd kill it.

When you go, why is the food so much better at restaurants than at home? The answer is a fuckload of butter and salt. So that's all it is. Not holding back on the quantities of that shit. You get an Ottolenghi cookbook and he's like, now add eight tablespoons of salt into it. And it's like, you get them, yod them.

What do you give a fuck? You're not picking up, you're not taking me to the doctors. Oh, what's your secret in this recipe? Heaps of shit that's bad for you? Yeah. Very easy. Very easy.

Sauce. What's your favourite? Extra sauce. Food show, anyone? Have you got a favourite food show? Food show. Oh, you know what? Stanley Tucci searching for Italy.

That's a good one. Oh, no, very easily. Very easily for me. Man versus food. Love that. Now, they changed the dude because he couldn't do it anymore. Yeah. So Adam had to like, he couldn't do it anymore. Yeah.

So Adam had to go, I can't do this anymore. Because the show is he's going around eating the worst food in America, which is like fucking doubling down. Yeah. And then there's some sort of challenge at the end where if you go back and watch, I've watched every episode. I love that show. But it has dated to some degree because he chows down here.

There's always a challenge in a restaurant where it's like, oh, the challenge is you have to eat 16 dozen pizzas. And then he sits there and they get around like 100 people that they cut to every now and then and they go, you can do it, Adam. And he'll get up to like 1,500 pizzas. And then he'll go, I've really hit the wall. And they blur the vision.

He's like, I don't know what I'm going to do. What am I going to do? And then a woman in a very tight T-shirt comes up and kisses him on the cheek and goes, I vision and he's like, I don't know what I'm going to do. What am I going to do? And then a woman in a very tight t-shirt comes up and kisses him on the cheek and goes, I think you can do it, Adam. And then he goes,

boing, oing, oing, oing, oing, oing, and then he eats another thousand pizzas. Nothing makes me hungry like getting horny. Like all the blood rushes from his head to his dick.

And so he can't think properly. He goes, yeah, I am still hungry actually. And then chows down yeah my favourite food one is I think it's like it's on YouTube

it's like rate my takeaway or something takeaway it's this massive Englishman and he goes around to different chippies I've seen that

and he sits out he sets himself up a table always outside and he just eats these things he's like that's actually good, that is.

And it's not gourmet. They're like mom and pop joint. That's a good one. That's amazing. That's a real good one. A show every week about someone eating chips would be quite good. It's just a very unhealthy looking Englishman, which I mean, to be fair, all Englishmen look unhealthy.

I think they're just called Englishmen. Yeah, that's true. Carl, have you ever watched those youtubers where they'll like they'll get they'll hit a chain and they'll get literally everything on the menu so it'll be a woman and she's like i've ordered everything literally everything at tgi fridays and i'm gonna eat i did that at mcdonald's i did that at mcdonald's once yeah mcdonald's bonner junction once uh when i was a kid we did that we did the one of everything please yes uh and to see how old were you i was. We did the one of everything, please. Yes. And to see...

How old were you? I was 17. And one of everything, please. Me and my mate. And what did they say? Yeah. They go, all right. And they just...

It takes a while, but that's good because you need the time. I like that. They don't blink. Yeah, it takes a while. We've had your sort before. They know it. They know. Because we worked out how much it was going to cost and exactly...

This is day one of training. And you will get these people. And... This is the end boss. Have a guess what does you win. What is the thing that does you win? Because when you do this, there's a key fork in the road where there's the purists versus the pretenders. What is that?

This is my question. This is my main first question that popped into my head. When we get to the nuggets and you've said one of everything, are you getting one nugget or are you getting a six pack of nuggets a nine pack of nuggets because if you're going every item that's on the register tommy no you can't but when you're saying one of everything but so one one of everything that exists on every item on the menu so it's the nuggets aren't the issue you can't order one sip of coke no this is before but then what are they are they giving you a six pack or are they giving you a six,

a nine, a 12 and a 24? Okay, that's a fair question. That's the first angle for the purist, right? Yeah. I take it to mean if it's on the board,

you have to try and have it, right? Okay. But this was at the point where it was only 9, 21, 24, I think. Yeah, 9, 21, 24. Okay. So then...

Simpler time. I'm a simpler time. So what is the... Kids these days. But that's not what does you in What is the thing My guess is Go

The thick shakes You got it Yeah So the purists go Ben You have to get one of each flavour Oh Okay Because they list them

They've got a comma That's its own task Just without But the pretenders go It's a thick shake The item is thick shake Yeah A flavour is

A derivation Is a version of that But is the same thing But is it the same thing Where you're having to go Like I have to get a Fanta And a Coke And a Diet Coke

Because it's like Well that's not really Mac No because that was just A size of drink That's in the size of drinks So that's drinks It's in a size Right

So we got Sprite Fuck If you had to get a small Medium large Pussy And then on and on Jesus Christ Sprite

And then presumably You're doing the shakes And then you've got to Back that up With one of every type of sundae Did you get a Sprite Thinking Because it's like

Was there a little bit In your head going Because of Sprite It's clear It's fattening It's way less Was that the last time You ever had a

Was that your last McDonald's ever? Yeah. Oh, really? That was it? Yeah, I haven't had it since I was probably 17. If you were to go back, what would your order be? Well, I think about this most days. Thank you for asking.

It's done one of those Mark Wahlberg style workouts. It's like, wake up at 4am, think for half an hour about what I'd have if I was to go back to McDonald's. Hit the gym. You've got to have six nuggets. You've got to have sweet and sour sauce. You've got to have a vanilla thick shake. You've got to have medium fries, not large fries, because they go cold. You have to have a quarter pounder, and you have to chase that With a Big Mac

And then you have to have And then you have to have Whatever delicious Quarter pounders before Big Mac Yeah And then you've got to have Whatever delicious Ben

Whatever delicious Like current dessert They'd have Remember Cherry Ripe Was there for a while Yeah Biscoff shake or whatever Whatever their caramel

And you indulge in whatever There's always some new Kind of McFlurry going on Well that was the issue When we did it McFlurry had just started And it was like Oh fucking Sundays And There's always some new kind of McFlurry going on. Well, that was the issue. When we did it, McFlurry had just started. And I was like, oh, fucking Sundays and McFlurries. Box of cookies?

Are they coming? Come on. I'm not a weirdo. You're eating a little plastic figurine of Scrooge McDuck from the Happy Meal. I have to eat the whole Happy Meal. Anyway. All right. We'll go a little bit of fast money.

Some very popular choices here. Bananas. Shit, we're still Some very popular choices here. Bananas. Shit, we're still doing this? Bananas. Yeah, that was always going to happen. But anything, I feel like fruit and vegetables almost don't count because it's like most people would have an association of being a kid, being like made to eat it by your parents,

and it's like some vegetables you end up cracking through and liking them as an adult. it by your parents and it's like some vegetables you like end up cracking one of the major things that lost george w bush uh the dad of uh sorry george uh the first bush the first bush yeah george h bush one term president being one of the first one of the major things that lost him uh the election which seemed unlosable uh eight months before was when he did this uh interview where he said that he didn't like broccoli, he would never eat it, and he banned it from Air Force One. Wow.

Thinking that it would make him sound relatable. Yeah. But people took the angle of wealthy man bans broccoli from private plane. Right. And also there's huge... Hammered for it. There's also huge farms growing it.

And there were huge farms going... And they were like, what are you... He was like, how good was that? And they were like, you are a fucking idiot fucking idiot yeah cut to like however many years later and there's a man in office who was like i ate mcdonald's six times a day for every meal you say what you like about him but he's learned don't say things like that yeah he's like kerry packard trump's like kerry packard he might be whatever you want him to be he has a sense of

this will play yeah you know kerry was a You know, Kerry Baker was a great TV programmer because he just kind of knew what folks would play and what wouldn't. Yeah. And speaking of what would play and what wouldn't, what food don't you like? There is, what else is there? Eggs. A lot of people have said eggs.

Yeah, yeah, that's always there. That's a bit biblical. Little protein pills. Pop one in. That's a touch biblical though, isn't it? Eggies. I love an eggy. Why biblical?

I'd have to speak to them. What's in the Bible against eggs? It's not against it, but it's all like sort of, you know, seed of creation. They all shelt not on one. Me and Scamo down at Horizon Church, we'll take you through it. How wet do you like your eggs? Ask them at any of them, Are you Pentecostals? They can reply.

They're listening to the show. I think eggs, what it is, is these people, they have a specific, they're like, they don't, they like them like really, really well done. And they've just been fucked over one time at a restaurant. They've had a slightly undercooked one. And then it's like killed them forever. My nightmare would stop eggs forever for me is if I cracked an egg and I saw any form of life. Yeah.

Any form of... Like a beak? Yeah. Yes. Or a chirp. That'd be it. I'd say stop being a coward. Excuse me, sir, am I on what's chirping?

No distinguishable features, but it's chirping help me as it's in the pan. So you wouldn't need an Autoland. A what? An Autoland is a French dish where it's like a small baby bird that is deep fried and you have to cover your face with a napkin

in order to shield yourself from your shame from God as you chow down on this bird. That's right. I love that. That was in something. And that's why, and also,

when they were coronating Charles, you know the bit where they cover him in the, they cover him, you can't see him, in the cloth. That's because they're

covering him in this oil called chrism. So he's getting a chrism shower in there that we can't, looks like Ben Russell We've been covered in a liquid called chrism.

We've all given ourselves chrism showers. Did you pronounce that right? Yeah, I promise. You're in bed, you're lying on your back, you're showering yourself in chrism showers. Did you pronounce that right? Yeah, I promise. You're in bed, you're lying on your back, you're showering yourself in chrism.

This sounds like one of your AI movies. There you go. I like this. I listen to Ed. He's gone, I hate bananas, but also he's then added on

a gin and tonic tastes like light bulbs. What a legend. Which raises the question, when have you been chowing into a light bulb? Drinking a light bulb. Hang on, that is a... I mean, I need to explore that further.

That's a beauty. Yeah, respect to him for giving context. Licking the outside? I don't like gin and tonics. Sorry, I need to follow up. Licking the outside of a halogen? Or does he mean the sort of... Putting the metal bit...

Tastes like meth? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does he mean put the light bulb in your mouth? Maybe if you're on meth, everything tastes like meth though. Maybe that's not the gin and tonics fault. Everything tastes like light bulbs. Really burns out the palate.

This, mashed potatoes. Sean and Dave have both gone mashed potatoes. Yeah, that's not shocking. Really? I find that crazy. You know what that says to me? That says to me That they don't know How to make mashed potatoes

Yeah good point Yeah I reckon You need to go back To school mate You need to fucking Sort your life out That just feels like A real basic

You could hand a one year old Baby mashed potatoes And be like This is where food all starts How can you not like this It's bottom of the pyramid It's default food I can get not like

Little one food Not like jumping to it Not being oh, I make it every week. But like straight up, I will not tolerate that. What you've done there is invented some great online content for yourselves where you have the idea of the food pyramid of what you should eat and what you shouldn't. You guys should do the dum-dum food pyramid of what are your base foods all the way up to the stuff that no way never.

That's an excellent idea. This is how to diet 50. The dum-dum pyramid. That's funny. That is funny. We have a picture of our own bodies next to it going, this is how to eat properly and look like us. It's the opposite.

The dum-dum digger station night. Oh, that's good. Serve all these at one of your crazy events. I love this. I love this. this fuck this is what I'm here for I'm like AI you've learnt

over the course of the hour yes I have by listening to this garbage over the years and you're mostly used to make

porno I'll do two more right two more yep do more James says I hate all sweet food chocolate ice cream lollies

Everything To do with that Is super gross Yeah yeah That's crazy Fun guy I bet he trots this opinion out Whether he's asked for it or not

James Buzzkill at the party James is a helicopter pilot Which is like Man You couldn't be any cooler than this And then you've let yourself down Fucking massively

He's on a natural high though He's on a natural high That's true Yeah that's true Who needs sugar man What do we know about helicopters? A mate of mine who knows how to fly them said

it's being in, you're flying a machine that is trying to tear itself apart at all times. I won't get in them, by the way. That's something I won't do. I will not get in them. I am with you.

I will not get in them. The only time you ever hear about, you know, that light aircraft, it's like you only hear about them on the news in a bad way. Mate, it was the worst. If you ever watch... Well, who aircraft it's like you only hear about them on the news in a bad way mate it was the worst if you ever watch well who's going

this just in helicopters are sick that's very one landed safely that's a fair that's a fair point I think I'd do helicopter hot air balloon

is the cut absolutely no chance I would do that no chance I would do that I used to think the same thing but I've done one

I did the one over Melbourne. Beautiful. And it is amazing. Yeah, I know. It just, it's like, I don't know. I just think you wouldn't do it because you've got to get up before nine o'clock in the morning. Yeah. That's part of it.

That'll do it. Do they have a midday session? The helicopter, it's a machine, but the hot air balloon, it's like, I'm just in a basket. There's nothing going on here. The balloon's inflated. Yeah, but that's just like physics. Yeah, I know, but it's like, it's too. That's all right.

That's just like, we've now got know, but it's like it's two. That's all right. That's just like we've now got on to transport. You would do what you do. Stick around after 8 o'clock. That's next week. Guys write in, oh, I'd never catch the train. You try and get me in a Zeppelin, you are going to struggle. I just grew up in Hindenburg, in a town called Hindenburg. I won't go into a Zeppelin filled with parties.

All right, we'll finish. Heal him only, thank you. Thank you. We'll finish with this one, which is like an understandable sort of one. I just love the description of it. Claire says, I have never eaten a meat pie. Never? But then follows up with this.

I've had slices of family sized pie And I like party pies But single pies creep me out Interesting Okay well So you need to just delete the first bit of what you just said Because you have had a meat pie Yes And you liked it

I just haven't had a whole one You don't like the size of this one It's the measurement that you haven't had It's not the item Is this Maybe this is a bit of like, because you know when you get the, like the little mini Turkish delight in the box of favorites.

It's awesome. And then you get tempted to get the whole big bar. It's too much. It's too much. It's too much flavor. Which is what did Pepsi and eventually, which they worked out after years of Pepsi scratching their heads going, we win the taste challenge.

Why don't we, why don't we sell, outsell Coke? They get outsold 22 to 1. So they worked out that the problem was, Ben, that the first sip of Pepsi is preferable to Coke. But if you take it as a whole for a whole glass, they lose. They lose every time. Wow. Interesting.

That's very interesting. See, I think Claire has had the exact same experience. She's in this mindset of the Turkish delight. She's loved the party pie. And she's looking at the big 4 and 20 in the rack at 7-Eleven and thought, no, I've been done by this before. More doesn't necessarily... I'm not going to enjoy this as much as I would enjoy a party pie.

But it is a weird thing to say, I don't like pies when you clearly do like some pies. True. Because it's like saying, I don't like nuggets. Well, I like one nugget, but I don't like pies when you clearly do like some pies true because it's like saying I don't like nuggets well I like one nugget but I don't like six nuggets what's this

what's she saying I've had a slice of the family pie I've had a slice of the family pie I don't know if that's a metaphor or if that's a real thing I've been cut in financially

on my parents will and I loved it but I want to I want to reiterate the final line where it's not like oh that's too much that's too much pie

yep she said single pies creep me out yeah well I mean if you've only I want to reiterate the final line where it's not like, oh, that's too much. That's too much pie. Yeah. She said single pies creep me out. Yeah. Well, I mean, if you've only ever seen a party pie, if that's all you thought existed, and then one day you turn up and there's one that's like 400% the size, you'd be like, Jesus fucking Christ. It's about a family pie. If you're used to dogs and you saw a dog four times as big as a normal dog,

you'd be like, I think I hate dogs now. Sorry, but she's had a slice of a family pie, though, and that's a huge pie. Oh, you're right. That's your mum's pie. But I reckon maybe it's a thing in the family where it's like she's not, it's understood that she won't go near the pie. Someone else cuts up the slice and puts it to her.

Claire, would you like to eat a slice of a single pie? Claire, would you eat a slice of a single pie? Let us know, Claire. That's a good call. We've got to put on a live event where we get Claire to eat a whole pie. Let's get all the people we mentioned here to eat the stuff they hate. Yes. That is good.

Yes. That's good. Let's do it. We have shows In Perth If you're a person That hates If we've mentioned you here And you hate any of these food

Please Can you eat the food Live on stage with us And we have a Melbourne show We got enough We got enough content For the live Perth one

Yes Melbourne We need stuff We just do an hour Of people eating things That they don't like And us on mic being like, so how is it? Yeah, really bad.

Oh, they've done it again. I'll come. That's fine. I want to get Claire out here with all the different sizes of pies. Yep. And just seeing if we can get her to Ed Cavley style, eat the whole menu. That's funny.

Claire, wherever you are, we'll fly you out for this. We'll fly you out. We'll put you up. Five star a com. You have to not eat. You have to be nice and hungry. The plane will look like a pie but you have to you still have to go is it because i think she doesn't like the normal size pie because it makes her feel like she's huge right or she's small no she's small

she's small right you gotta dress it you gotta dress up she's seen the willy wonka movie or something and gone oh my god i know how this works Like those mascots where it's just a larger human. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're getting to the bottom of this. I think food's not really the problem with a lot of these people. This live show is going to be like a... Come to our trauma show. This live show is going to be like a reverse version of the...

Men versus trauma. That's the show I want to see. Well done. That's great. I've got to go to the cheap seats you people oh yeah alright let's wrap it up thank you very much

Ben Russell Ed Cavill thank you for joining us Ed Cavill you've got the Team Effort podcast yeah which you run

did a great job all three of us have been on in the last little while yeah we're gonna do a live show soon I gotta organise it which I can't be arsed

but I will promise great great plug Ben what do you got you got your improv show every Wednesday I can't be arsed, but I will. Great. Great plug. Ben, what have you got? You've got your improv show every Wednesday. I've got improv show Wednesdays for the next four Wednesdays. Ed, I think you're doing it at some point.

Yes, I am. It makes me very nervous, but I am. That's in Melbourne, of course. That's in Melbourne. And I'm also, in November, the week after, I think, you guys are going to be in Perth. I'm going to be there as well. Yeah.

All right. Prodigal son. You're hanging out with Hughie every morning in Sydney on Breakfast Radio. You get that on listener app and then you have been paying attention and

smoke weed, get high and that's that. Yeah, great. Real rap. All right, guys. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mate.

And they've done it again. Bernie's eaten a big one. Yeah. What's the weirdest Bernie you've ever kicked? What's the weirdest food you've ever shoved up your ass? You know what? We didn't talk about our examples on the show, I felt. We talked about all these other listeners.

Oh, yeah. About the food. Well, all right. Two things. I felt like we could do a About like the food. Well, all right, two things. I felt like we could do a whole other episode on A, that topic, and B, we'll see what people think, but we should do this again. Okay. I loved delayed talkback.

Okay. Putting a topic out six months ago. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, A, our examples of like the food everyone loves that we don't touch or whatever. But B, I also liked when I put that on the socials, people got it. It's like, what's the food that everyone likes that you don't like?

Oh, potato. Yeah, that is weird. Fucking whatever. And then some people putting offal. Offal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Brussels sprouts. No, I didn't ask.

Famously. What's the food that you don't like that everyone doesn't like? Yeah, famously, yeah. And Brussels sprouts. I was like, no, I didn't ask. Famously. What's the food that you don't like that everyone doesn't like? Yeah, famously contentious. Coriander. Yeah. I'm one of the people that it tastes like soap. Yes. It's like, well, that's completely forgivable.

That was a couple of people, coriander. Like, yeah, yes, everyone thinks that. What's more interesting is someone who loves offal. Yeah. Not the other way around. Well, maybe let's try and get, because I think once we really locked in on the examples where people were like, not this, but this. People were like, I love ketchup, but not tomatoes.

Yes. So if we could get more of them. I like chocolate, but not chocolate ice cream. Exactly. If we could get more specifics of that now that people have heard it, maybe we can revisit this in the future. Right. Because my – I didn't get to say this in the air.

But, yeah, so my version of it is seafood, not really into seafood, but I'll have a calamari. Okay. I'll have a calamari. Yeah, right. But just there's something about the kind of like the texture and just like the overall – the fishiness of seafood kind of makes me gag a little bit well i mean seafood's so broad i mean what yeah what what what specifically because

calamari is a specific version of seafood so what specifically don't you like the other the other sort of prawns and oysters no go right can't go near them yeah um like fish i'll have but i'm not i'm not huge on it oh really yeah yeah not like if i'm like somewhere where there's fresh seafood i'm not i couldn't give a fuck right doesn't really yeah doesn't do it for me and it's a classic where i think it fits this category because people will not fucking leave you alone like our trip to vietnam, every place we're going, especially when it was like set menu, like people just don't accept it. Like my girlfriend constantly, now try this. I'm like, I just don't like it.

I just don't like it. It's not for me. I'm not ordering it if it's there by choice, but you can have this plate that we just got that's the set menu. You can have mine. No, I just have it. I just don't. I'm not being difficult.

It just doesn't i'm not being difficult that's just yeah it just doesn't taste good to me yes people will not people will not let you go really off the hook if you don't if you don't eat it yeah right i'm i'm a fish fan but i want yeah i i'm what is my opinion about it so i don't don't like it it's more like i've just i'd rather have something else yeah and there's there's certain bits where i'm just like i i don't don't like it it's more like i've just i'd rather have something else yeah and there's there's certain bits where i'm just like i just don't want that yeah but the majority of it is like yeah i'll just have something else yeah um but most fish most just fish and i was like on the cruise we went on it was set menu and one night was all seafood yeah and i was making it

i was getting through most of it i was like all right it's in front of me i'll eat it not my favorite but this is like 80 to 90 percent of it i was enjoying and then there was a thing with prawns and it's like that's my no-go area you can have my prawns no try them yeah i've tried them yeah not for me yeah yeah well um what do i talk about i talked about tomatoes you just haven't watched terminator enough yeah you'll love it yeah just watch it for a sixth time. Well, that was a weird thing about, yeah, Ben. I think that's so funny about Ben Russell going, I'll just create an immunity to it by just eating something I really don't like until I magically like it.

But that's why I was going to bring this up in the episode because honestly with seafood, I have thought the same thing. It's like people do not leave you the fuck alone if you don't like it so my life would be easier if every time i'm at a barbecue and there's prawns or someone's serving up oysters if i was just like yeah let me add them you never can just go not for me and it not be a follow-on discussion so i have had the same thought of him as like maybe it's just better for me if I just dedicate some time to training myself to like this. Just clockwork orange style, strap myself in, a few prawns down the gullet and just get on board.

You know what? I reckon I did this and maybe everyone's the same as this in this way. I'm not sure. But I remember it took me a long time to be a regular beer drinker because it is such an acquired taste, I think. Yep. For me, for sure. Where it was, I'd be going out as a kid, teenager, young adult and just going, oh, I guess I'll

get scotch or bourbon or whatever it is. and just going, oh, I guess I'll get scotch or bourbon or whatever it is. And then it's becoming such a pain in the ass to organise and do and pay for and whatever. It's like, oh, this would be a lot fucking better if I just hurried up and liked beer a bit more. And when you're young and you're like splitting a slab with mates, like it's just easier if everyone's having the same thing. Yeah, yeah.

You go to a party and there's just beers in an esky. Yes. You don't want to be like, have you got any yeah yeah yeah all that stuff i remember it'd be a lot like you know in a share house and i'll go and get a slab and then i'm like i'll just get i guess i'll buy a whole bottle of bourbon for myself shall i yeah yeah yeah and then and then you know what on top of everything else just watching the sort of people that you know are people that don't drink beer and drink coke and bourbon instead and going i just rather not be one of those people yeah yeah yeah yeah they're

either completely fucked in the head or just a bit fucking different or something and i'm like i don't want to be either of those things yeah i'll just i'll just learn how to like this and now it's fine now it's good yeah well one time when i went to japan i was drinking a lot of whiskey highballs which is like pint glass whiskey and then soda water yeah tasty drink and you just you're taking in so much water yeah you don't really get hung over right and being like this is a game changer right i'm just gonna drink this this is gonna be my new drink when i get home yeah and giving it up within three days because it's like you go to an auto bar and like the bartender's like, what the fuck are you talking about?

You're like, oh yeah, this isn't our national thing here. Yeah. It's just too much. Right. It's too much fucking rigmarole. What do you have to do with it? What is it? It's a shot of whiskey.

Yeah. And then soda water. Right. A pint of soda water. But in a tall glass. Right. And that's all it is? Yeah.

Oh, okay. I believe so, yeah. Maybe it's more than a shot, but it's like big tall glass of soda water but in a bit in a tall glass right and that's all it is yeah i believe so yeah maybe it's more than a shot but it's like big tall glass soda water whiskey um tastes good and and this is one lazy bar where they can't be fucked doing that that's not a lot of work well i mean in japan you just go just a high ball and they know what that is but here you're going can i like having to explain it and if it's noisy, they're like, what? You want a pint of water with a shot in it? It's like, yeah, you're right. I am gay.

Get me a beer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, fair enough. Hey, I need your help with something. Yes. So we talked about this on a bonus episode. Hasn't come up on the main show yet. But so my childhood favourite band, Jamiroquai. Yes.

They're coming out here. Yes. They're coming out here for the first time in 15 years. Yes. They're playing one date only. Yes. In Adelaide. Yep.

At a music festival called Harvest Rock. Perfect. And that weekend is the weekend of my mum's birthday. So we booked in ages ago. We're getting a little Airbnb. You brought Jamiroquai out to play at her party? Yes. Yep.

I understand. My mum loves Native American culture. So they're her favourite band. Yep. Yeah, we're going away for the weekend, me and my girlfriend and my parents. So can't go to see Jamiroquai. But I did just see Double J, the radio station, are having a contest. The oldies version of Triple J.

Yeah, the I've aged out of Triple J. Yes. What Triple J was 20 years ago. Yes. So they're having a contest. One lucky winner will receive four VIP tickets to Harvest Rock. Oh, my God. And $1,000 travel and accommodation.

Oh, my God. So all of a sudden I'm thinking, well, look, if this is on the table, if I win a trip to Adelaide and I can take my mum and dad, surely that's going to be okay grounds to go Yes Let's move the birthday celebration Absolutely I'm putting us up in a nice hotel

Absolutely We're going to get to swan around backstage at this like You know It's not going to be like a rowdy music festival Yes You know it's borderline a day on the green Yes Right

Yes So if I win this Yep Then this is going to get it over the line absolutely agree so great idea thankfully it's what and look who knows how much validity there is you remember when you'd enter contests when you're a kid and it literally was just send an envelope to this address yeah and you'd be like all right well that's complete luck of the draw yes that's just something being fished out of a barrel but then ones where it was like hey answer this question for us yeah and you'd go well i feel like i've got a bit more

skin in the game here yeah but still who knows whether this is just completely random or not oh look me and you have done little bits and pieces with this podcast and other stuff we've done competitions and yeah just think back to how we ran things like yeah yeah yeah it's not yeah it's not always very merit-based. There's a lot of like, oh, this will do. But at least it being like a question or like a given funny answer to something. At least it makes you feel like you've got more of a chance. Yeah, it gives the illusion of like I've put my best foot forward.

Yes. So here's what you have to do to win, to potentially win these four VIP tickets and the $1,000 travel and accommodation voucher. We just want to know one thing. If you could ask one act on the Harvest Rock lineup one question, what would it be? Right. Do you want to hear the full lineup?

No, because I feel like we only – do I know anyone outside of Jamiroquai? Yeah, you would. Let me have a look. Because what I was leaning towards was something along the lines of if I give this backstory of why I'm entering, everything I just said and say. So my question would be to Jamiroquai, why did you forsake me by only doing one gig in Australia

on my mum's birthday you know what i mean something along those lines why i would i would more lean towards the this is the situation so the question is why would you want to make my mom sad by not making me win this thing oh yeah okay yep yep into it yep so here's the full lineup jamiamiroquai, Niall Rodgers and Sheik, Bernard Fanning, Chromio. I've got it. Beck. I've got it. Paul Kelly.

I've got it. Bernard Fanning. Question. Why don't you get Powderfinger to get back together? Done. Paul Kelly. How do you make gravy? Yes, Done. Paul Kelly. Send. How do you make gravy? Yes, yes.

Paul Kelly. How many coloured girls are there? Yep. What colour are they? Yep. Bright eyes, sparks. Sparks? My question to them is, why don't you two move to a bigger town?

Okay. In reference to their song. Oh, okay. This town ain't big enough for the two of us. But, yeah, what do you think? Is my best bet to lean into the whole mum birthday thing in my entry? Yes. What else have you got?

What else have you got? So it's like else have you got? What else have you got? So it's like what would you ask? So it's like if I give the whole context and it's like I've won and my question would be can you sing happy birthday to my mum? No. You've got to flip yourself around. Think of you being the artist. I know.

You don't want that. Well, they're not judging it. Yeah. Jamiroquai. JK has not been sent all the entries. But I still think you're – if it then passes on to them, he doesn't particularly like it. Also, I think that creates more work for the organisers or whatever it is.

Well, no, but I think that I'm getting really split here because I'm like – I keep forgetting that I'm not actually then going to be awarded the opportunity to go and ask this question direct. There's someone knocking at the door, by the way. No, someone's home. Oh, okay. Right, right. Look, as a side thing, there may be no other person apart from you that orders so many fucking online purchases. I don't think i've been here

for months without someone delivering well sometimes it's me sometimes it's my girlfriend but it's like yeah do you even go to woolworths anymore is everything just being delivered no i went to a shop the other day i was like fuck this is i never used to be an online shopper right and then lockdown just broke that right broke, broke it wide open. Yeah, yeah, right. But anyway, so, yeah, I keep in my head thinking, oh, the prize here is going to be I do get to meet JK and ask him this question. Yes.

That's not actually on the table. Right. No, no, no. Like I'm trying to separate myself from that. Yes, yes. I do think it is good to get the mum's birth because I'm also thinking if you're this radio station, you want to get me on the line and be like, here's this great feel-good story. It's not just someone asking Beck like, oh, what was it like being in an episode of Futurama?

You know what it is? It's my mum's birthday on the weekend of the whatever the fuck festival it is. Yep. on the weekend of the whatever the fuck festival it is yep um everyone's supposed to be going to meet my mom for her 70th birthday yep including me my dear beloved mom i'm an only child she's i'm the only child she has survivor cancer wedge that in oh no this is like i'm on it this is like i'm on the voice like i I'm just trying to get enough personal tragedy in there to just really make it sexy for the judges. Yes.

As the only child, the only child she's ever going to have, probably, she's 70, so big chance. Yeah. Unless she gets adopting pretty soon, which is, you know, in my opinion, not a great idea. If she could adopt you, then we'd be brothers. Yeah, there we go. The dream.

So, it's her birthday. But my love for you, JK, is so high that I'm torn between the two of you. I cannot possibly decide. I've been waiting 15 years for you to come out. Yep. But I'm so desperate to see you you i'm overlooking my mother's birthday party the only thing that can combine the two of them and make them make them happen is for me to win this competition so my question for you is how do you feel saving the dasolo

family by making me win this competition how How happy does that make you feel? Yeah, okay. By making sure this family isn't torn apart and keeping this the happiest family. Yeah, okay. What I'll say about that is it's a good thing there's no word limit on this. Which I did check. I reckon you can trim some of what I said down. You know when they're like, give us the most creative answer and then it's like the word

limit's like 10 words and it's like, let me cook. Come on. There's no such stipulation with this, which I think said down. You know when they're like, give us the most creative answer and then it's like the word limit's like 10 words and it's like, let me cook. Come on. There's no such stipulation with this, which I think is great. Yes. Really just let me go for it and send you a novel. Yep. Yep. Look, not a novel.

You're going to give them too much work to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think you hit all those points and then the question is, how good does that make you feel? Keeping this family not torn apart, Whatever it is, something like that. Yeah. Some sort of rhetorical question that implies that I've won this competition thanks to you.

Yep, yep. Because there's also, I know that JK is very close with his mum. They gave an interview a little while ago where he said they were working on a new album and his mum, she's got some amazing old piano and she gave them the piano to work on. It's been brought into the studio. So there's a bit of, you know, he's a mumma's boy. If you can get to him, that'll be good.

But see, again, I'm getting distracted because it's like he's not having anything to do with it. He's not having anything to do with it. So what they want is just a sexy question that I'm getting distracted because it's like he's not having anything to do with it. He's not judging. He's not having anything to do with it. No, no, no. So what they want is just a sexy question that I'm asking him. It's got to be like a snappy question just in general where I'm also working in that it's my mum's birthday. I still think, yeah, yeah. Leaning into that. Yeah.

I think that's great. Okay. All right. I would, if I was judging and I got that, I'd be like, this is the front runner. Yeah. Unless, you know, it was then followed up by, you know, the next question. Jimmy Ricci, where's the weirdest place you've ever had sex? I mean, that would top it.

Yeah. But yours is pretty good. All right. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's get this out of the way. That's my – I'm going to, you know, get, get refining this after you leave. Because it's being judged on, it went up yesterday and it's being drawn on Thursday afternoon.

Oh. So they've only given you four days here. Send me the details. Yeah. Okay. And if I win, I'll pass it on. Take my mum. No, yeah.

I don't want to go. I don't want to go to Jamiroquai. I don't want to go to Adelaide. I don't want to go. I don't want to go to Jamiroquai. I don't want to go to Adelaide. I don't want any of it. You'd be pumped to see Beck. Yeah, I've seen Beck before. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I've seen Beck twice.

Oh, really? Yeah. We've seen Beck twice, I believe. Twice? Yeah. Where was the other time? We went with Josh Earle once. Yes, and we performed at the Harvest Festival.

Oh, yeah. In Werribee. But did he play there? Oh, maybe he didn't. You're right. I don't think he did. No, you're dead right. He didn't.

That was the next year he played and then I couldn't go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. We saw Portishead and we performed at the same festival as Portishead. Yeah, we clashed with TV on the radio. Oh, did we? And we did it with, it was us, Xavier Michaelides and Josh Earle. Yes.

And Josh got up and did a bunch of jokes about TV on the radio. And I was like, they're on there. Anyone who knows what these jokes are is watching this. That's great. That's great. And the drive to and from that festival was one of the best car trips maybe of all time. Amazing.

I was trying to reenact it to someone the other day. Someone was telling me a very similar story, and it was so hard for them to relate to me, but I could relate because I had the same story. And then I tried to tell that story back, and they were like, we don't really understand. I'm like, just pretend I was in your story. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's the same deal. Yeah, it's the same thing By the way also Bad dreams are on this festival Don't a couple of those guys Listen to the Doesn't one of those guys Listen to the pod

Is that what the story was I think so Maybe I think one of them's aware Oh but you You're the one that met him Wasn't it Wasn't it

I thought you met him I met one of them But Yeah I can't remember The specific details Well anyway look Cross your fingers guys And Look if you've got I thought you met him. I met one of them, but I can't remember the specific details. Well, anyway, look, cross your fingers, guys. And look, if you've got – by the time this comes out, there'll be – I think I'll have like a day or so to get the entries in.

So if you think of any other good – and hey, look, if you want to enter on my podcast. Exactly. That's what I was going to say. Can you enter multiple times as Tommy Daslow or not? I don't know. I doubt it. Yeah, right I was going to say. Can you enter multiple times as Tommy Daslow or not? I don't know. I doubt it. Yeah, right. I really doubt it.

Well, if you want to enter and then handball the prize to Daslow. If you're like me, where I'm happy to enter, I don't particularly want to go to it. Yep. I'm fine with just giving it to you. Yep. If you're one of those people, don't be one of those people that goes, oh, yeah, great. I'll do that. And then you get it.

It's like carrying someone's child and then going, no go no actually i want to keep the child yeah yeah yeah yeah i actually want that one and look i'm happy to if you're someone i'm happy to like you know meet up with you do something for you oh yeah unfortunately i can't take you to the festival if you win it and pass it on you know what because it's four tickets it's non-negotiable there is no way that i can go and not be taking my girlfriend and my parents. What about this? If you enter for Tommy and you win and you handball the prize over, we will do a live podcast at your house.

Okay, great. What about that? Yeah, okay. That's a great idea. This is so funny because the weekend before this, the four of us are going to see Paul McCartney. And then just imagine this a week after getting on the plane to go see Jimi Ricquardt. My parents, no idea what they're going along to.

Yeah, yeah. But me just being like, you know, because this is the thing, it's $1,000 towards the travel and a comm. Yeah. Like I'm still, I'm going to have to, I'm going to be throwing in extra. Yeah. Like if I'm getting this over the line to my parents, it's going to have to I'm going to be Throwing in extra Like if I'm getting This over the line

To my parents It's going to have to be Me being like I'm putting this up Somewhere really nice You know There's going to have to be Like a winery day

On the Sunday Or something Okay Yeah No that's still That's still good No that's a great idea I love this

I love this Alright I'm entering You're entering Listeners are entering Listeners are entering Listeners are entering I'm kind of now hoping That a listener enters

And wins it And then we Are doing some Fucking House party Live podcast In Broadmeadows or something It's annoying that this

Came out This was announced yesterday Yep And It closes in two days Yep Because I would have loved To have this

In the main guts of an episode. Yeah, yes. You're right. But time was ticking and I just had to get this out there. Yes. Okay, we're doing this. I had to pick the brain of the biggest prize pig I know, Carl Chandler. No, I'm kidding.

I was going to say I haven't won anything. I just like the term prize pig. I'd love to be a prize pig. I don't think I've won anything. If you're someone that's always calling up commercial radio to win a free bag of fertilizer, or if you're one of those people that's got the minus touch for contests, let us know. Yeah. We'll put this in the aware group and Facebook stuff, whatever.

Get onto it. Win. This is Tommy Daslow's second Make-A-Wish. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. This is, that's what it truly is. Yes. This is the make good. Yeah, exactly. That's what it truly is. Yes. This is the make good.

Yeah, yeah. If I got diagnosed tomorrow, my Make-A-Wish would be not even – I mean, this is the thing. I'm happy to just pay for the tickets. Yeah, yeah. It's more just like I want to be let off the hook with mum. Yeah, yeah. Yes.

It's not about not having the means to be able to go. I'm fine. I can get myself there. If this weekend wasn't happening, I would just have tickets already. But it's more like me needing the excuse to get it over the line with mum of like, hey, I've retooled. I won this competition. We'll get to hang out backstage.

It's more getting you off the hook with your mum. The same thing would happen with my mum. If I said, oh, we're doing this because I want to do it, she'd be like, so what? But if you win a competition, it's like, oh, well, we better not let the good folk at Double J down because they've given you all this stuff. Yeah.

We better not waste it. My parents love Adelaide. They've got good friends there. Okay. All of a sudden it's like, hey, we'll get to be at this boutique thing. Yep. There'll be a nice little VIP area where we're getting fancy food. Yep.

I'll book somewhere nice for dinner on the Friday night. Perfect. You know, I'll redo the whole thing. Yeah. All right. Let's do it. All right. Well, otherwise you can make my dreams come true by contributing to our Patreon account.

All you have to do is sign up to patreon.com slash little dum-dum club, or you go to the link via our website where you can find all of our 600 plus episodes. You can download there, or you can get some of the merch that we have there, or you can get some of the merch that we have there. Or you can go to live show, find live show dates, like November the 4th in Perth or November the 25th in Melbourne, Australia. Very special guest. Great guests on both of those shows, by the way, Tommy Dasolo. Yeah, going to be good. Ripping.

So do all that. Then you can subscribe to Patreon, like I said. You can get heaps and heaps and heaps and heaps and heaps of bonus episodes where you recorded a couple of very funny ones today that made us laugh a lot. Yep. And you can make a wish for yourself. Yeah. And if you wished for more content.

Heaps of that plus the warm, fuzzy feeling that you have in your little tummy from making the show happen. And if you want it even more, you can have your name read out right now, potentially. Jesus Christ. What a fucking grab bag. This is like you winning the four VIP tickets to Harvest Rock. I have to imagine that's how this feels for the people listening.

Look, let's give out five VIP name reads this week, I reckon. Yep. Just to make sure we have one more than the tickets you're bound to win, making this an even better prize. Okay, thank you very much. To everyone who subscribes to our Patreon account, especially this week, let's single some out. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Nathan Palmer.

Nathan Palmer? Yeah, Mr. Palmer and his five daughters. Yeah, yeah. I wonder if he'd – look, you're already a page of subscribers. Nathan Palmer, I'd love it if you wrote out a competition entry for us this week and sent one in to Double J. What would Nathan Palmer think of a reason? Maybe we can write –

Who would he want to ask a question of and what would he ask them? Yes. Yeah. Nathan Palmer strikes me as a guy who is. Nathan Palmer says, Beck, why don't you write a song called Winner? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just to be a bit more positive these days. Nathan Palmer, I reckon, is asking a question of Built to Spill. Okay. Who are on the line. Can I ask a question of them? Yep. Who are you? You know Built to Spill?

No. Oh, okay. 90s. Oh, really? 90s indie rock. Oh, fuck. I've lost it then. Kind of like, yeah, kind of pavement adjacent, I guess.

Oh, really? Yeah. Where was I on that one? They got some, yeah, kind of pavement adjacent, I guess. Oh, really? Yeah. Where was I on that one? They got some, yeah, they're very Rad Dad wheelhouse. Oh, Jesus. I've lost it. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

Built to Spill. All right. I'm looking them up now. You're right. Built to Spill is an American indie rock band that formed in Boise, Idaho in 1992. What's their big hit then? I don't know if they've ever had a big hit. It says here, Car, Goin' Against Your Mind, I Would Hurt a Fly.

I Would Hurt a Fly is good. Don't know it. Damn. Okay, well, what's his... I know you don't know it. You hadn't heard of the band until 10 seconds ago. Well, I might have heard the name of the song. Go in on the album that that song is on.

I think you'd like BTS. Okay. Well, what might have heard the name of the song. Go in on the album that that song is on. I think you'd like BTS. Okay. Well, what's the question? What question? Hmm. Well, I'm trying to just profile based on the name. All right. What about this?

Nathan Palmer strikes me as like a, you know, like a grunge kind of dude, you know,s indie rock enthusiast i could see yeah well anyone who listens to this show exactly yeah yeah good chance a few dinosaur junior t-shirts what about this here's my question for built to spill why do you have such fucked band member names okay because here's this. There's two members amongst others. Here is two different members of the band Built to Spill. What if like, imagine if this wins. It's like me writing this heartfelt thing to Jamiroquai about my mum.

And then, oh, I've got the winner on the line, Carl Chandler, with his question to Built to Spill. Who the fuck are you? Band members. Brett Nelson. Yep. Also band member, Brett Netson. Okay.

And then who's the third? That's fucked. And who else? Brett Comedyson. Don't read ahead. How's that? Yeah, that is weird. Maybe that's how they got together. That's one little sideways stroke difference in names.

Brett Nelson and then stroke the L in Nelson and it's Brett Netson. What's up with the fucking names Netson? What about if your entry was you asked Built to Spill what it's like being one of the most famous boy bands from Korea? BTS. Oh, yeah. That's good. That's good.

I like that. Hey, Built to Spill, or may I call you BTS, what's it like being Oriental? Wow. And they're like right down the bottom of the lineup too. Yeah. That's crazy. They play stadiums. Why aren't they above Beck?

Not a lot of Asians in Adelaide. Yeah, true, true. Yeah. That's crazy. They play stadiums. Why aren't they above Beck? Not a lot of Asians in Adelaide. Yeah, true, true. Little Korea went defunct. Yeah. They bulldozed it and built the Garden of Unearthly Delights. Not a lot of Asians in wineries over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry about that.

All right, well, that's great. I think that's a great question that he can ask them. I was at a winery a few weeks ago with my dog and there were some Japanese tourists there and this girl went up to my dog and was patting him and going, kawaii, kawaii. And it's like, oh, yeah, you forget that that's like, it's an actual word in Japanese, the word for cute.

Do you ever hear people talk about like, it's like japanese style like kawaii oh that's so kawaii like the harajuku girls and all that kind of thing that seems like it's more in your wheelhouse than mine tommy but the but the word the word actually just means cute right so it's just funny seeing someone call my dog cute in japanese yes um when he already has a japanese name anyway yeah Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I was like, should I get in there and be like, hey, his name's Kewpie, your mate. And I was like, oh, that's dodgy.

I can't do that. Yeah. Nathan Palmer, well, look, you can enter yourself this competition or you can give what we've given you just then, which I think is some great entries. Yep. So this has now just turned into we suggest alternate entries that these people have to give.

Yes. Yes. Not bad. Yes. Based on just vaguely what their name sounds like and the band they'd most be interested in. And also people that are listening to this can send their own entries via these people's names as well, just to get it really confusing.

And we do have the name of every person who listens to the show. So if we see a winner and it's someone that we know listens to this show and they didn't pass the prize on, we are going to be fucking roped. I'm going to be playing double J through the UTS. Yep. UTA. The UTA. UTA.

UTA. And as soon as the name's read out, an alarm will go off and you'll instantly be electrified if you haven't passed on the prize. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. So don't think you can get away with anything, guys. Okay.

Especially you knackers. Knackers Palmer. Thanks, Nathan. Thanks, knackers. Thanks, Palmsy. Thanks, Palmso. Thank you very much to Patience's subscriber. Here we go.

Thank you to Philip Topsahadlis. Philip Topsahadlis. Topsahadlis. Yeah. Yeah, I got it. Topsahadlus. Philip Topsahadlus. Topsahaladus. Yeah. Yeah, I got it. Topsahaladus. Topsahaladus. Topsahaladus.

Yeah. Okay. What do you think about it? Well, I'm just looking at the Harvest Rock lineup to see who's the biggest wog on here. Is Demis Roussos, is he on the festival this year? Well, Flight Facilities are playing. They're like a club DJ act.

Is that great? Well, you know, it's very like, I don't know. This guy sounds like he'd like clubbing. Nana Muscuri, is she on the lineup this year? No. No, it's actually a very, yeah, not many. I'm trying to think who on here is ethnic in any way. The Lemon Twigs, are they Greek?

John Stamos, is he playing with the Beach Boys? Is he playing drums for the Beach Boys on there or anything like that? Jennifer Aniston, is she playing? Yep. Is part of the Friends Orchestra? Anything like that? What's this guy's first name again? Phillip.

Phillip. Phil. Hmm. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know who Phil would be most likely to be a fan of. Kelly Savalas? Is he on the line-up? No, no.

Keep going. You'll get one eventually, I'm sure. He's not singing his Kojak on this first little line up? Damn. Okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah.

Zach Galifianakis, he's not doing some comedy up the side? No. That would be cool. Yeah, that'd be good. That'd be pretty awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Socrates.

Oh, I'm going back with my Googling of famous Greek people. Sorry. Well, I mean, maybe he'd be, you know, maybe he's a bit of a rev head and his question to Jamiroquai would just be about one of his fancy cars. Oh, yes. What was it like driving that Lamborghini in the Cosmic Girl video? Would you like to do Burnett's with me and Randall Moore? That is so funny that they have one of their first big hits and it's about seeing a hot girl at a nightclub and then for the video he goes

what if it's just us driving some fast cars around is that what this what's the song cosmic girl okay um yeah man that would be great getting it ferrari as a tax write-off yeah we had to have it in our song yeah what's the song called cosmic girl okay it's about being a club and seeing a sexy girl and falling in love with her and so the so for the video it has to be me driving around really really fast in an expensive car yeah it basically has to be a mini episode of top gear yeah also i've got a fucking dead rabbit on my head okay yeah no problem. Cool, man. Yeah, Phil, what do you think about that? Lucky Phil.

Feeling good. I love this competition army we're forming. I can't see you losing. As long as everyone does their bit. If you've done your bit, if you like us enough to put in for Patreon, you like us enough to enter a competition for free. Guys, 600 and something episodes free yeah all we're asking yes is for a few moments of your time get onto double j's instagram page thousand dollar prize look up given to us and you're gonna get a live

podcast recorded at your house yes let's not forget that yes Yes. Because I'm thinking like, here's the thing. If you enter under your own name and then you get the prize. I mean, you can always enter under my name. You've all got my phone number. Yeah, sure. Look, you can put the addresses. 41 Bourke Street. Clear off Spleen.

Comedy at Spleen. Spleen Bar. You can give all those. No, but I'm too. See, this is the thing. Even bringing it up on here, I was like a bit paranoid about. Because, you know, there's always these terms and conditions. It's like you're not allowed to know anyone that works at the –

all those kinds of things where I'm like, I'm bringing it up in this forum. Does this render me ineligible? I would be shocked if there was a rule going, sorry, but you can't send the prize onto a podcast host that you listen to just because he asked you to do it. I'd be shocked if there was that in there. Well, I don't know.

You never know. Well, I'm happy to roll the dice, given I have. Whatever happens, it's funny to me. Yeah, sure. I mean, look, if anyone from Double J is listening, if that's the reason I don't win, can you at least just let me know? Yes. Just drop me a message and let me know, hey, we ruled that you were ineligible.

Is this another crunchy 2.0? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. When we should have won the crunchy competition and they banned us just for me saying that their cat food sucked and was too expensive. Yep, yep. I'm itching for us to have another. I'm on the lookout for any kind of dog competition. Right.

I would love us to have another bite of that cherry with Kewpie. Well, thanks, Phillip. Thanks, Phillip. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Magnus Söderling. Magnus Söderling. Okay. And Magnus and Söderling, I mean, that feels very European. Very sort of fjords,

very that part of the world. Is there any band on that lineup that can relate to that? What part of the world did you say? Well, I reckon that's like, it feels Danish. It feels, you know. Danish. Yeah, I don't know. It doesn't look like it.

But just on the picture I'm getting of this person, I can see them really enjoying Nile Rodgers and Chic. Yeah, look, that's possible. I mean, that's very European, that sort of thing. So, yeah, that's fine. Disco. Yeah. You know, I wonder what this person's asking Nile Rodgers.

Yeah. I mean, I don't really know. What did Daft Punk look like under those helmets? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you ever, when you recorded Get Lucky with them and you had to ride down the shop to get some cigarettes, did you borrow their helmet? Yep.

That's good. I've seen them before and they're so fucking good. Who? Niall Rogers and Sheik. Okay. If you get the opportunity to see them on this tour, definitely do it because they're fucking great. No, if you get the opportunity to see them by winning this competition, don't go and see them. Don't go see them there.

Send us the prize. Send the tickets to me. But they're doing shows in the rest of the country. But if there's another competition and you can win that one as well. Just for you. Come along. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, yeah, use those tickets yourself.

No, but I mean, I'm saying if you win a competition to go see them just in Sydney at their sideshow, go to that. Okay. You're allowed to go to that. You're allowed to win two competitions. You're allowed to win for any other thing that doesn't have Jamiroquai at it. That's okay. You can keep the prize yourself.

We're signing off on that. Yeah. Okay, great. No, they played at either Meredith or Golden Plains one year and Get Lucky had been out for like a year. Huge Daft Punk song. Yep. And, you know, he's written so many hits.

He wrote Let's Dance by Bowie. Oh, did he? Like a Virgin. Wow. I didn't know that. All the like Donna Summer, Diana Ross, Chic. Jesus. So it's like just seeing like the best cover band,

but it's like all actually his songs. Let's Dance, maybe the best David Bowie song. Yeah. And he whips that out. He's doing all of them. It fucking rules. But anyway, so Get Lucky had been huge. And he comes out and mid-set he's like,

now a lot of you are probably more familiar with my recent work, Get Lucky. And people are like, yeah. And he's like, and I've said I'm never going to play that until I'm playing it with Daft Punk. Anyway, he's like a virgin. Wow. That's great. Get on – let's have a look at their recent set lists for Chic and Nile Rodgers.

I am very busy looking up. I mean, look, that's a cracking album, Let's Dance. As an album, it has Modern Love, it has China Girl, and it has Let's Dance. Okay, here we go. Wowee. Here's the most recent Nile Rodgers and Chic set list from last week. La Freak, Everybody Dance, Dance, Dance, Dance, I Want Your Love, I'm Coming Out slash Upside Down, He's the Greatest Dancer slash We Are Family,

Like a Virgin, Material Girl, Modern Love, Get Lucky, Let's Dance, Good Times slash Rapper's Delight. It's a hell of a fucking show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Niles Rodgers does seem like he's all over that album. That was a bit of a disco-y, poppy album.

Yeah. You sure he wrote it or maybe produced it? Yeah. All tracks are written by David Bowie. Oh, okay. I think he played guitar on it maybe. Right. Because he's got a very unique style of guitar playing.

No, I just play guitar, producer, engineer, mixing, horn arrangements. Right. So he was all over the album, but he didn't write that song. He didn't write any of the songs, in fact. It wasn't attributed to him. So, yeah. Question for Niles Rogers. Why did you tell Tommy that you wrote Let's Dance?

Yeah. You fucking didn't. Yeah. I can see that winning. Yeah. All right. That's good. Yeah. Thanks. Well, thanks, Magnus. All right. That's good. Yep.

Thanks. Well, thanks, Magnus. Magnus. Yeah. Did we thank Phil before? No, we thanked Phil. Did we thank him? I think we thanked Phil, yeah.

No, we thanked him. Thanks, Phil. Well, thanks, Phil. Thanks, Topso. And thanks. And thank you, Magnus. Magnus, yeah. Okay.

Thank you very much to Patience Subscriber. Thank you, Ben Abley. Ben Abley. A-B-E-R-L-E. A-Burl? Spell it again, sorry. A-B-E-R-L-E. A-Burly?

A-Burly? A-Burly? A-Burl? Sorry, Ben. You really should have phonetically spelt your name out in the Patreon. And Ben's got a question here for Thelma Plum. How the fuck do you pronounce my name? Yeah, must be nice.

Plum. What's it like? What's it like having a name that people just get immediately? It's no good, but at least I can say it. Yeah. Plum. Plum. Okay, what's this?

What's Ben? Who's Ben going to be chopping it up with backstage at Harvest Rock? Yeah. What's he asking? Question for who? Question for...? Question for Well, maybe he's asking something of Bernard Fanning Okay, yeah

Because they're the only other band left on the line-up Who I think you might know Yes Yes, absolutely Well, look If you need a better question, Dan If there's a better question than Hey, why don't you get Powderfinger back together?

Yeah. I mean, I'd be surprised. But what about this? Question for you, Bernard. Did you break up with Powderfinger because your mate owns the venue in Brisbane, that little dum-dum club? Ah, yes. Called the Triffid.

The Triffid, yep. And then they had a mixer engineer that fucked up and missed the recording, missed the start of our live show up there. Did you break up with Powderfinger because of that or are you not getting back together because of that? Yeah. Did you break up with them 10 years previous because of that? Yes. Or is that holding you back from getting back together because of that? Yeah. Did you break up with them 10 years previous because of that?

Yes. Or is that holding you back from getting back together because he has not given back a public apology? Well, what's the point of getting together and doing a new album if this cunt isn't going to hit record? Yes. Yes. Is that it? Is that it?

That's it. That's the reason. Yeah. Can you confirm this is the reason you won't do a new record? Do you remember for that gig I did a poster and it was us as the cover of Internationalist? Yes. And did we ever find out whether that got back to – because we had it up on the projector before the gig. I heard.

Yes, we did hear. Oh, we did? So what happened was you drew that, you drew that as me and you. In the style of that album cover, we had that projected on the big screen and it got sent to whatever the bloke's name is. Yep. And he thought it was cool. Great. Yes.

Two people I've never heard of did a thing. Yes. It's just basically like going on the internet and finding fan art. Yes. Hey, but it happened. Yeah. But hey, you got money from this. Yes.

No, someone did do it. I remember hearing that someone, whoever had did do it some i remember hearing that someone whoever the whoever had to do it was like that's funny oh and that's my boss i know him very well i'll just send it to him right now and then it was like probably got back a thumbs up emoji yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah done well uh another great thing you could ask Bernard. Hey, did your mate ever tell you about that rip-off poster artwork of yours that those two clowns did? Yeah, in 2015 or fucking whenever it was. Yeah.

Yeah, all very… All very great questions. Good competition-winning questions. Yeah, I'm sure he would love being a successful recording artist in his own right with a storied solo career. I'm sure he'd love you just holding court and only wanting to ask him about his old band. Yeah.

How old were you at school? Bernard Fanning, how old were you at school when you first powder fingered someone? Oh, yeah, there we go. There we go. Security. No, it was my mum that asked the question. I keep getting annoyed because I keep –

even now that we've been talking about it for nearly an hour, I still do keep forgetting that part of the prize isn't that you literally do get to ask the question of this person. It's annoying. It's a bit annoying that that isn't actually – Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah you're not asking i keep forgetting you know it's like you buy into the reality of like what would you ask them and then you're imagining that the only way that you could ask them this is by having won the

prize you know so they bring you out and they're like there you go there's jk go and ask him your little question yeah it's annoying to me that it's like this wouldn't this wouldn't conceivably happen yes we wouldn't have one of our listeners hassling lady hawk yeah about you know the flip side of all this you know if if because it's our listeners that we're imploring to do this for us the best list of movies of course to win the competition then not pass the prize on and then just send us videos of him hanging out with Jamiroquai and Jamiroquai then going, hey, mates, suck shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Matt, yeah.

But you win it with a question that is so good that they're like, this wasn't going to be part of the prize. Yeah, yeah. But we have to make this happen. Furious calls in the middle of the night to Jamiroquai's management. Like, look, we may have bitten off more than we can chew here. Would JK be happy to just have a quick face-to-face with this competition winner? Yeah.

And trust us. Yeah. He's going to love it. Yeah, you wait. He's going to be asked the best question he's ever heard in his life. You wait. Like, you're going to be so excited to answer this question. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're going to be like, fuck, I question Yeah yeah yeah You're going to be like Fuck I wish someone had answered me Asked this question before Yeah Well thanks Ben Abel Abel Thanks to Berl Thanks all of the above

Thank you Ben Ben Abel Ben Ben Is that how you pronounce that? Ben Thanks Ben Just

Just take your version Cut this out Yeah Thanks Ben Abel Thanks Ben Abel Thanks Ben Ben Benbell. Thanks, Ben Abley. Thanks, Ben. Ben.

Ben. Thanks, Ben. Thanks, Ben. You can't fuck that up. There we go. All right. One more time. One more bite of the cherry.

One last thing before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Personally, lunchtime. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Oh, wow. That's interesting. Okay. All right.

What? Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Jamiro Comedy. Wow. Okay. All right. What? Thank you very much. Submit to the subscriber. Jamiro Comedy. Wow. It seems like... Is this... This must be like... Jamiro Comedy. Yeah.

Wow. This must be like a cover band of Jamiroquai that makes like funny covers. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Like Cosmic Boy. That's great. Yeah, that is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Cosmic Boy. That's great. Yeah, that is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What are some of these other songs? Oh, Jesus Christ. Well, you can't name a second song. Well, I can name a second song, just not one that's as funny of a parody as. What's the one where he's like walking? Virtual Insanity. Virtual Insanity, yeah.

Virtual Sanity. See? It's like walking. Virtual insanity. Virtual insanity. Yeah. Virtual sanity. See? We never said they were a good comedy cover band. Just that they exist. Literal insanity. Yeah. There we go. Literal insanity.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's real funny. Wow. Well, thanks, Jamiro Comedy. Yeah. Thanks so much for contributing on a special week like this.

Oh, and hey, look. I mean, since I'm in front of you, I would be remiss if I didn't ask. Yes. What's a weird food that you don't like? Yes. Fuck, I can't believe that's been staring at us the whole time. So that's my answer.

That's what I send in to Double J and then I go for a bit of backstory. Yes. Just listen to this two and a half hour episode of Little Dumb Dumb. Can I send that one in? Can I send that one in? Can I send that one in? What's a food that you don't like that everyone else loves? Yes. Don't say awful.

Yeah. Can I say that? Sure. Yeah. Sure. Or I can say, what's a food that everyone loves that you don't like? Mine's tomatoes, but I actually like tomato soup. Thoughts? Yeah, that's good. All right. That's tomatoes, but I actually like tomato soup. Thoughts?

Yeah, that's good. All right. That's good. Okay, great. You winning would be how we know that they weren't looking at things at all. Okay, this truly was random. We didn't need to worry about this at all. Yes.

Yeah, great. All right. All right, guys. Well, look. You know what? If you don't win this, the next trick is you need to hit them up to go, okay, what's the fucking question that did win? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes. Yeah. I'll just include that in my entry. Yes. I'm fine with not winning. Not really. But I understand sometimes these things just don't work out. But at least give me the benefit.

Well, I think they're doing it live on air on Double J on Thursday night, I believe. Oh, my God. That's where they said they're doing it live on air on Double J on Thursday night, I believe. Oh, my God. That's where they said they're announcing the winner. So I'll be huddled around the wireless just waiting to hear the results. You'll be welding that dial. Exactly. Whatever the dial is for Double J.

Me and all my children sitting around after we listen to War of the Worlds, just gathering around the world music program on Double J. Yes. All right. Oh, man. I'm excited. I want to know. I'm pumped too.

I'm excited. All right. Well, thanks, everyone. Yep. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening. Thanks for contributing. Please sign up to patreon.com slash little dum-dum club.

You can be part of a riff like this. Yeah. Or you can get bonus episodes. Or you can buy a ticket to Perth on November the 4th and see some very special guests. All very special guests on November 25th in Melbourne. Yeah. Bye.