The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 694 - Peter Helliar & Damien Power

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

This week we're joined by PETER HELLIAR and DAMIEN POWER! It's Damo's first time on the podcast and he's picked possibly the worst episode to listen to in order to prime himself. Karl's attempts to meditate have not been successful as he's had one of his angriest days in recent memory at the gym. Tommy's basking in the glow of being newly engaged and getting multiple curious responses to his news while out in public PLUS we chat to Pete about one of our all-time favourite memories of him. You could say, it's a bit of a callback ;) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Peter Hellier and Damien Power. We have got live shows coming up. February the 24th, it is our big 700th episode live in Adelaide. Yes, that's right. Then we have a month of Saturdays at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, don't we, Carl? That's right. Starting March 30th, continuing into April 6th, 13th and 20th, Saturday afternoons at 4.30. Don't miss out on that. There's season passes or you can get just pick one of them, but there's four of them in that little session and then of course on to

Koh Samui Podcast Festival. That is June 9th through to 14th. Get your tickets. Adelaide's selling quick. Koh Samui's selling quick. Yeah, get around it. We'll talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dum Dum. But until then, enjoy this new one with Peter Hellyer and Damien Power. Hey, mates.

Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dassler. I'm with me as always, the other half of the program. It's me. Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. And joining us today on the show, two very special guests. Tommy Dasler Yeah, I'm not very good with podcasts. I don't do many and I don't listen to any. Thanks for hitting us up and asking to be on. Yeah, yeah. So I thought I'd better make an effort and do more podcasts. And I got on here and this is fucking great.

Yeah, you did tell me you'd listened to a recent one and you were like, oh, I was a bit nervous and then I listened to your recent one and it was all about cum and incest and I thought I'd be fine. Yeah, I was like, oh, they've got 20 minutes on cum. This will be sweet. So it turned up, you know what I mean throw out the thesis yeah yeah

why do I suspect you'd listen to a Greg Larson episode yeah he's Captain Cum yeah and we've also we're sitting on

the same couch and we've almost touched hands twice I've seen you in the corner of my eye go to put your hand behind the couch and I'm already there

and you go oh no I better not. We might touch hands. Sounds to me like there's going to be more cum coming right up. And maybe incest. You guys are related, right? We can get into that area. Comedy incest.

Yeah, comedy incest. Just for Pete, you don't have the context of what we were talking about. On that episode that Damien listened to, The show hasn't taken a rough turn. Well, I mean, I'm an only child, so I'm safe. It rules you out. I'm glad you distanced yourself from the incest like that. I just want to make it clear, I am an only child. Hang on, your dad can still fuck you, can't he?

Oh, yeah. You're always saying that, Pete. I remember when I started comedy, the first time I met Pete, he gave me the best piece of show business advice I've ever had. Your dad can still fuck you. Just remember, you may be an only child, but... There's going to be a lot of accusations of incest, but just remember, your dad can still fuck you.

You are still in the game. Always be hustling. That's such a funny thing to say to anyone who says, I'm an only child. You know what you think. You think you're safe from incest, but you're not. You can still lick out your mum. Just remember that.

I truly had invented a rule in my head where it had to be between siblings. I did too. So what a blessing. No, there's uncles. Uncles are famously. Uncles are probably the number one. probably, yeah, the number one. The number one, I reckon. You've really expanded my mind today.

You know, you're right. You don't hear too many dodgy aunties, do you? There's always dodgy uncles. No, no. I think I've exploded the ICU, the incest cinematic universe here. If we want to live in a world of equality, aunties, get out there and start levelling the score.

It's 2023. Aunties can be dodgy too. No, it's 2024. Fuck. My Christmas tree is still up out in the living room, so don't beat yourself up too much. Damien, you're living with your dad at the moment.

Oh! Nice little segue into that. Don't beat yourself up too much. Damien, you're living with your dad at the moment. Yeah, I live with my dad. Yeah, it works. Nice little segue into that. Hang on, so you're living with him. It's gotten serious. Yeah, in the early years, it was floating around,

and I was like, I feel like it's time I moved in. I feel like it's time to bring you home to you. When are you going to introduce me to your parents? Oh my God. I want to be Nan and Grandad. Come on. I'm really regretting

bringing up the episode that I listened to. I'm like, I better do some prep listening to this episode. Great. It's just all about cum and incest.

We'll have someone new on the show next week and they'll be like like I better listen to last week's one to press and then that and then they're going to hear this it's never ending this is just a full time incest podcast but let's look let's move off the topic but you are currently

you're yeah I've moved back in with my dad because you know things are going well I was going to say this you're saying this like this is a rare episode we talk to stand up comedians all the time this is surely the case with most of the people we have on our show. They live with their parents. Yeah, yeah. There's a bit.

Thanks, Carl. There's a bit. I was trying to, yeah. It's not just you that fucks your dad. Tommy's like, oh, not sure. Tommy's like, I can't think of a single other one. It's a fucking nightmare is what it is. My dad is so intense

this is a memory of my dad watching him jump the neighbor's fence and poison their tree with my mom on the veranda going bob will you get out of there and he's like it's blocking the fucking view and i'm like that's that's a formative memory. Is he with your mum still? No, they separated. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. How convenient. I don't know why you see your partner poison the neighbour's tree. You make plans to get out of there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a red flag, as they say these days.

Poisoning the tree is such a slow response too because it's like it's blocking the view. You would think get in there in the dark of night and cut it down. But poison, just I want to watch it slowly i feel like cutting down the tree is really extreme like because the neighbors will definitely notice that yeah you can't palm that off on yeah just like what just died yeah yeah yeah just having a run totally yeah so has he calmed down no fuck no yeah well no Well now that I'm living with him Like in this regard, older

He's like Sky News Oh boy Rupert Murdoch is like the boomer whisperer He's somehow You know what I mean? Yeah Everything he says they believe Everything

Do you get Sky News on free to air? No, I don't think so Oh, you've got to sign up for He's signed up for it He's locked in and it's just blasting down the fucking hallway. He whips himself up

into a frenzy. I wonder how many people are that have a Fox Tell subscription just for that one channel. It must be pretty high. It's either that or go and hang out at the airport all day and watch it.

Why is it the airport that he has to cop it? Yeah, the lounge. It's in Canberra, in Parliament House in the airport. The Qantas lounge is usually where people see Sky News. So he's really made an effort to actually be watching it at home. Yeah, yeah.

In the luxury of his own home. Oh, it's a fucking nightmare. Just blasting down. And he's drinking coffee and, you know, getting worked up. Political correctness, I'm sick of that. And he's pacing back and forth. The guy can't relax. He can't relax at all.

You know, he's fueled by panic. Does he come and see a lot of your stand-up? A couple of times, yeah. How does he go? I don't think he likes it. Yeah. I mean, it's funny because I showed him my special, like the one I just released.

It's like I put a lot of time and money into Best Of, you know. He sat down and watched it and he's laughing. And I'm like, oh, shit, okay. And I'm like, oh, I felt kind of cocky, you know. I was like, oh, this is going to be all right. I'm like, what do you think? He goes, it's a bit cringe. A bit cringe?

What? Your dad says that? Yeah, my dad said that. He used the word cringe. I'm like, what are you talking about? And he goes, it's too much swearing. Oh, yeah. That old thing, yeah.

You've put this on and you've sat in the room to watch his reaction. Well, I walked out and couldn't be there, you know, but I could see that he was enjoying it and stuff. And I thought, oh, sweet. Yeah. You thought you've got some Andrew Bolt lined up for afterwards, just a little palate cleanser for him. Yeah, he's gone with cringe.

You were walking there thinking, fuck, dad's going to say, this is very fetch. He's gone the other way. That's a very Zoomer dad. Yeah. This is so cringe. Man, he's got the anger. Man, I've got the anger.

I got... The other day, so this is what happened the other day. On Friday, so you've got a kid, right? How old's your kid? 14. My kid's about to turn five. So Friday is Daddy Daughter Day, right? So I take my daughter to the gym.

Well, I go to the gym. I feel like it's very Daddy focused at this point. I go to the gym, the bank. She's very daddy focused at this point. I go to the gym, the bank. She spots me. Daddy wants a buff little daughter. No, the gym has a crèche. The gym has a crèche underneath it, right? Okay, come on.

So we have the... This dog's freaking me out now. I'll get him. The dog's in the room. He just stared me right in the eye for a while. So the crèche is underneath the gym. So the kid goes to the crèche. I go to the gym.

It's like a 90-minute sort of thing. The crèche closes at 90 minutes. So I go and get my gym done, get a run done, and then come back in. So I go get my gym done, go downstairs, do some laps of the oval, and I'm like, I'm so stressed about work and all this sort of stuff that's supposed to be the outlet and so i'm doing my laps and whatever and at the end of it i'm still like fuck i'm still furious i'm still like oh i've got too much stuff going on i'm going fucking crazy so in the middle of the oval i just go fuck it what am i gonna do i've got to go and

pick up the kid now so i've still got like you know 20 minutes or something so i like download a meditation app and then sit in the middle of the oval and try and like meditate like i've never meditated in my life before and i'm like okay well i'm just gonna try in the middle of glenn ferry oval right now and like download it sat there listen to like a minute of it and then went fuck can you can you put this on double speed oh my god get the meditation done quicker it's like a five minute it's a five minute meditation thing so i do it and i'm like i get up i'm like okay and then the phone rings and it's friend of show nick cody nick cody rings me and goes and we talk for about a minute and then he goes um oh what do you what have you been doing what's all that noise i go oh i'm outside oh it's weird actually you'll think this is funny

considering you know you know me i've just done the gym i've done a run i'm i'm still fucking going crazy so i like downloaded a meditation app and i did that and i meditated for the first time ever and he goes just then that happened just then i go yeah yeah he goes okay well in the minute between you finishing that and you telling me about the meditation remember when you called two people, in your words, a mental cunt? It's obviously worked. How's that? I don't reckon Buddha did that.

And let's remember the setup to this story was that it's Daddy Daughter Day. What a beautiful day for little blankets. Anyway, so Daddy Daughter Day, I'm fucking mental. I'm out in the yard in an oval listening to a meditation i'm stressing about her being in the car and it's hot and the windows are all up yeah oh man man it gets worse because i i do that and he goes okay all right so i then talk to him uh for like i've got 20 minutes or 15 minutes between that happening and and the crash closing so then i go uh okay i'll go on um get to the

creation 15 minutes and i was just sort of doing laps and talking to cody on the phone we're talking about whatever and then uh i can see the crash start to close so i go in to get the kid out of the crash and go i better go cody i'll talk to you later hang up and then i get my kid and go oh and then we go to the pool every day every friday right after that it goes crud gym crash pool so i go to go to the pool and i go oh daddy forgot after that it goes crud gym crash pool so i go to go to the pool and i go oh daddy forgot to get his backpack he's left it upstairs in the gym because you know you put it in the like the little foxhole sort of thing and you leave it there and you do your workout and pick it up at the end so we go back up there and i've left my my backpack and

i've got my my tracksuit top and i go there and it is fucking gone because there's no door or lock or anything it's just yeah so it's just gone and i'm like looking at it and you know you have that panic and you go fucking hell that's that's my whole life in that bag that's like my wallet that's my um laptop that's all my work i'm starting to think yeah remember when like my iCloud said yeah you've run out of room do you want to pay another seven dollars and they're going you're not gonna fucking rip me off I'm not paying seven bucks to back all my stuff up fuck that and then I'm like fuck I should have done that so like I'm like fuck everything's gone so I go to the like the assistant at the at the desk and go hey listen um someone's fucking stolen my bag and all my shit my my tracksuit and my wallet and everything like that and they're

like um well have you tried all the other like fox like that and they're like um well have you tried all the other like foxhole stuff and i'm like um who do you fucking think i am yes of course i fucking tried all that like i've just been meditating listen to me i fucking tried that bitch totally so i'm like of course i've checked i've checked all the stuff i'm like oh my god and i'm starting to like really fucking panic and go everything's gone and he's like that's it search all these children one of them's got my keys and my laptop yeah and i'm like what what do we do now and he's like oh do you want to check check it all check the other one i'm like i've checked everywhere where else can i fucking check there's a gym like there's no hiding places in the fucking gym and he's's like, oh, okay, well, I better call my manager.

And I'm like, yeah, call the manager. That'd be great. And so then this- Fucking hell. Yeah, yeah, man. Daddy daughter day. Yeah, yeah. I can see a Sky News future for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, I don't need Sky News. Yeah. If I- He doesn't drink coffee, if you can believe that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God. I'm left wing. Like, if I get converted by Sky News, I don't know what I if you can believe that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God. I'm left wing.

Like, if I get converted by Sky News, I don't know what I'm capable of. God would love to give you a long black one day and just see what happens. Yeah, yeah. So then the manager comes up, and I'm, like, freaking out. So the manager comes up, and I literally say to him, oh, fuck, are you the backpack guy? And he's like, what do you mean? And I go, oh, well, who are you?

And he goes, I'm the manager, if that's what you're asking. And I'm like, in you mean and I go oh well who are you and he goes I'm the manager if that's what you're asking and I'm like in my head I'm like no this is just the guy that's going to get my backpack packed right

you're the backpack guy no that's Dora that you're talking about she's an explorer yeah she's coming in on Monday so he comes up and I go

man you've been called up to look for the backpack haven't you and he's like I've been called up for something I don't know what

so then the other manager goes this guy's lost his backpack so this guy goes have you checked all the other foxholes I'm like I fucking told this guy of

course I've checked all the fucking foxholes I've checked everything and he's like alright mate alright okay that's a real Mel Gibson and Ransom

vibes going on here by the way give me back my backpack honestly I'm thinking about these movies and going you know when someone gets kidnapped and they go,

the most vital part of the time is the first 30 minutes before anything else happens. So I'm like, the backpack could still be in the building. We have to get onto this right now before someone walks out with a backpack. Kyle finding the backpack guy and going, full Liam Neeson in Taken. Yes.

I don't know who you are, but I have a very useless set of skills. Yeah, if you don't give it back, I'm going to bitch about you on a podcast. I will track you down and I will call you a cunt. So then he's up there and he wastes my time again and I'm like, he's doing laps. People are coming up to him and asking suggestions and stuff

and they're asking about their sit-up form and stuff. I'm like, mate, fucking don't. Can we talk about that later? I need to find this backpack before it walks out of the fucking building. So I'm shooing other potential fucking customers away or whatever he's like okay well all right well come with me and we'll go downstairs my okay all right and we go downstairs then he goes all right well let's just check the lost and found and i'm like who the fuck how is it going to be in lost and found for starters if you steal a backpack you're not

going to immediately then go oh hand this hand this in to Lost and Found. Take it out of where it's meant to be. This belongs in Lost and Found. Totally. There's these foxholes where it's all backpack. Someone mental has taken all of them and taken them all and put them into Lost and Found. It's a good plan, though.

If you do that, because you'd be thinking, they won't go to Lost and Found because it's been stolen, technically. So you could put it in Lost and Found, come back a day later. Yes. You're wearing a fake moustache. Yes.

I lost 32 backpacks yesterday. I lost an ID of a man who doesn't look like me and has a different name. Yeah, yeah. Can I have it back? Yeah. So he's,

I'm like, and I'm explaining to him, I'm going, no one's going to steal it and immediately put it into Lost and Found. going, no one's going to steal it and immediately put it into lost and found. Also, no one's looking in the foxhole where there's 32 bags and going, oh, it looks like someone lost their backpack. I'll take this out.

But this is a classic Carl Chandler in this situation. All these different people are giving you all these different potential solutions to this issue and you're vetoing all of them. Yes. What do you think in your head at this moment should be happening right now? I don't know, but I'm eliminating all the things that are making me angrier. I'm like, stop saying that and tell me something else. You're wanting these guys to form a posse with you

where you just go down the street and just go vigilante justice on these guys. Absolutely, yes. You want the manager to appear with a sack of doorknobs and a chain. Yes! I literally do. I'm so worked up. He goes, is there anything there anything in the backpack i'm like what part of me going fucking mental would make you think that yes my whole life's in there my laptop's in there and i'm like and also i'm intermittent fasting at the moment my lunch is i'm like i'm going

i'm also hungry okay unrelated i need some food yeah don't lead with laptop and then throw Le Snack in I really hope this story ends with it still being on your back oh yeah

you know something like that's coming yeah so I'm like I'm going mental and I'm like right what else can we do

I said no of course I'm like going into movies and stuff going we need to get in where's the control room in the gym we need to check

the cameras we need to check the security footage let's get in there now and the guy goes oh we can't do that i'm like why not what the fuck is it for and he goes you need to call the police to do that and i go you need to call the police to check the cameras in a fucking gym in the bathrooms and i'm like oh okay that probably makes sense i guess i guess that makes a little bit of sense and i'm like okay It was definitely a woman. We need to get the toilets. That's where they'd stash it.

But I'm literally going, well, where would they stash it? Like, we need to check all the footage. And I'm like, can we check it now? And he's like, you need to call the police. I'm like, do I need to call the police right now to access cameras? And he goes, yes, you do. I go, do I need to go? I'm going to call triple O right now.

And he goes, yes. And I go, do I need to go? I'm going to call triple O right now. And he goes, yes. And I go, fuck me dead. And I just walk out. I walk out of the gym. I'm like, this is insane. So I go to walk out. I call the police. And I'm like, listen, I'm at the gym.

Someone stole my backpack. And he's like, okay. Get the ambulance on standby while you're there. I'm in ketosis. I'm about to pass out. Have you guys got any donuts? And I go, yeah, so he goes, where are you? I go, that's this gym.

And what's your name? And what's been stolen? And all this sort of stuff. And so I'm filing this full police report over the phone. I'm like, yeah, this is it. And as I'm walking, I'm walking in and out of the gym. And as I'm walking, I look down. And at the foot of the door of the gym is my backpack and my hoodie.

And they're just sitting there. And I'm like, what the fuck? And then I go and then I have this really weird flashback where I don't know if you ever do this when you've been on the phone and you just have this sort of waking coma. And you do all this stuff while you're on the phone and you don't remember it. And I'm just having these flashbacks of me going getting my bag, getting my fucking hoodie and then for some reason sitting it by a door and then just walking away for like half an hour

and I'm like, oh fuck, it was me. I did it. I stole my backpack and then... I'm just dying to know if there's an apology. Oh yeah. It really is your first time on this show. So I'm doing... But I'm filing a really angry police report at the time. So I'm like...

I'm even getting stuck into the cops. Yes, of course, I've looked for it. Fucking all this stuff. ACAB. Yeah, so then... So I'm doing the whole police report. But then I see the bag. And then if there was a graph of the tone of me filing this report,

it would be like 110% down to 20% because it's me going, yeah, and it's this backpack and it's black and I've got this hoodie and it's, yeah, I don't know where I put it last. Yeah, I've just remembered. I'm probably doing your laptop anyway. Yeah, look, if you've got any time

later in the day to look into it or whatever and I'm like, and then I'm thinking and you know, I'm thinking on the fly and I'm like going,

fuck, how do I get out of this phone call? And like, because I'm like, I could, I could just file a police report

but it's going to have to come back on me and then they're going to check the footage and there's going to be footage of me taking my own backpack.

Yeah. So I can't just like leave the police report and have them come back and check the footage if you hang up it could be a hoax call yes and then you get in more trouble yeah oh yes i didn't even think of that about that so then i'm like yeah i'm like fuck how do i carl going to jail for this wasting police time yeah for stealing my own backpack and so then i'm like oh fuck so then i literally go and i've got my kid by so then i'm like oh fuck so then i literally go and i've got my kid by my side i'm like going oh yeah this is how i do it so on the on the phone i'm going yeah and i don't yeah and it's gone now and someone's stolen it and and oh what's that what's that little blanket what's that oh what's that you found a backpack oh you found oh oh

oh sorry my daughter's just found a backpack. I think it's mine. Yeah, it's mine. And like literally my kid's going, what? What are you talking about? Like I've just picked it up and she's like, I don't, what, daddy? You've got a backpack. It's your backpack. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool.

Thank you. I'll reward you later. We'll go and get something to eat. I'll reward you later. And it's me going, oh, yeah, thank you so much for finding it. And my kid's like, I don't know what's going on. Kids are good like that, to blame things on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I scratched my new car's paint with a scourer, like trying to get it out, like something, and to get it repainted, I had to say, yeah, my son tried to clean the car the little fella and he's just scratched it all over I mean who would use a scourer

yeah yeah my son hates me so he keep my car I bet you hear that all the time little fucking idiot yeah he got out of the

dry cleaners my son shat my pants yeah yeah yeah can you please clean the room he loves daddy so much he was pretending to be him yeah

he put my suit on and he shat in it I mean sure the shit's bigger than my kid's head but you know he wants to be in yeah he put my suit on and he shattered it I mean sure the shit's bigger than my kid's head but you know he wants to be like dad yeah

so I'm I'm sitting outside the gym with my found backpack and my hoodie and I'm like and I go sorry for wasting your time officer my kid's a hero

my kid's found the backpack so this is so great and so then I'm out the front and then I'm like great let's never go to this gym again let's just fucking run away yep and then my kids like no no friday's pool day we go to the pool on fridays and that's that i'm like oh i'll take you for pancakes or whatever you want the kids like no no we go into the pool and i'm like fuck i have

to go back in the building oh god so then i'm like okay so i get my backpack and we've got the pram and so i jam it underneath the pram and i put like toys all over and stuff like i try and hide the backpack don't they have lockers you can hire yeah but i've got to go back in there and i like i like so you're trying to keep up this oh you're trying to still convince them that the backpack's gone yes you haven't let the gym staff in on the like, my daughter found the bag. No. Okay, right.

No, no, no, none of that. Oh, sorry, that makes perfect sense. So, yeah, I've hidden the backpack. I've done everything I can to hide that. And then there's a side door that I have to go back around. So I'm like, okay, we'll go around the dodgy side door.

And then... Some great lessons here for the daughter too. You should really... This is still probably still when you start a lie yeah commit yeah continue to live that lie finish it yeah yeah i've never heard my kids swear which is insane that she's figured out well i guess not insane actually she's probably seen my behavior and gone note to self don't do anything that this guy's doing yeah yeah so i've hidden everything i've hidden the backpack

under the pram and then um i've gone in the side door and then gone through the little uh little doors that you go to go to the pool and as soon as i do that the manager walks up and he walks straight up to me looks under the pram goes is that your bag oh my god he goes have you got it back and i go, yep, yep. I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry. And then I just start having a breakdown and go, man, I've been under a lot of stress. I don't know what I was doing.

Do you ever get on the phone and then you just go in this coma and you don't remember anything you've done? And I'm like, now the guy's going, this guy's fucking mental. And he's doing that thing like in falling down it's like oh man just keep saying yes to this guy like you don't know what he's capable of like he's like

oh yeah I understand oh sure okay no worries mate and I'm like man I'm really sorry I'm really sorry I wasted your time I'm sorry I got angry

my whole life's in there I'm really hungry I haven't eaten for like 16 hours now I'm just going he's getting the full download we're post pandemic yeah yeah yeah, yeah.

Yeah, all that. And he goes, mate, it's all good. I go, it wasn't stolen after all. I'm so sorry. It wasn't stolen at all. Gaz has just been on my mind. It's really stressing me out. There's a loneliness epidemic at the moment.

Did you know that? I feel like society is fracturing. I don't know. So then he goes, and he goes, man, it's fine. He goes, it's fine. It's okay.

I'm not upset. I get it. You're upset. I get it. It's all good. But he goes, look, I kind of thought that it wasn't stolen.

Anyway, I get it. This sort of happens a bit. But he goes, I'm looking at your stuff now and you've got your backpack and I'm looking at your stuff now. And, you know, you've got your backpack and it's got all your stuff in it. It's got your wallet and whatever. But, like, honestly, like, I get why someone would steal that.

But why would anyone steal your hoodie as well? And then, like, my hoodie is like this salmon pink hoodie. He's like, why would someone take that as well? Like, why wouldn't you just leave that behind? I'm like, man, no offense taken. I get it. It's fine.

And then we get in the pool and it's like, then he comes back like 10 minutes later. I'm like, okay. And he literally keeps coming back to check on me in the pool to sort of go,

is everything all right now? Is everything? And I'm like, yeah, man. It's the moment that he drowns himself. No rocks in your pocket there. Yeah,

no, but honestly, that was honestly that. And what came into my head, I'm like, he's thinking I'm the divorced dad who says to the four kids, hey, guys, let's all get in the station wagon and drive into the dance. Oh, right, right. Well, that's why you had Blanket working out earlier in the day

so she can hold you under. So I guess what I'm trying to say is it's the Peloton meditation app. If you want to get an app that doesn't work, that's the one. Don't get that one. I mean, that story really does signify that it's about the journey, not the destination. Because literally every person hearing that story at the very beginning, I guarantee went, the backpack's there.

He's got the backpack on. He's done something to the backpack. It's right there. It's not stolen. But, you know, we all knew the the ending but we had a wonderful time anyway i just think meditation apps on phones are a disaster because that the phone is the most anxious thing you have in your life yeah you're like oh it's time to tune out message from your ex you fucking piece of shit yeah yeah like oh cool yeah i'll just flick that off but i went and did meditation at an actual place once and there was like a construction site next door

and it was just like jackhammers and just so much noise the whole way through the class. And it was like, I think you guys need to put a pause on doing this because it's really hard to... Or maybe that's all fake. And they were just like, this is the ultimate test. Maybe I just unknowingly was there for the advanced class. But honestly, when I was doing that meditation app,

it was like five minutes, but I was going, you know what would be better for me in meditation? It's just like putting Slayer on something to distract me. Because in that meditation, there was too much time to think about... What you need is Slayer. But when there was silence, there was just too much time to think about my enemies. Yeah.

Yeah. Death metal will definitely help that. Yeah, but the fact that you were able to drop your backpack on the ground and not remember it, you did go into a meditative state at some point. So maybe it was Nick Cody. Maybe this is like office space. You know how he gets hypnotized to love work

and then the hypnotist dies mid-session. Maybe this is like office space. You know how he gets hypnotized to love work and then the hypnotist dies mid-session. Maybe this is like that. You're midway through the meditation app and Cody's called you and cut off the app and you got kept in that trance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so you're just walking around in a fugue state all day. Do you do that though when you walk around?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. If you're on a long call, I'm wandering around and shit. And then sometimes I end the call and I'm like, where the fuck am I? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. If you're on a long call, I'm wandering around and shit. And then sometimes I end the call and I'm like, where the fuck am I? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, a little stroll.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And how's Blanket responding to all of this? Man, I think she's sort of like, look, the good thing about her now is so she's nearly five, so she's developed

a sense of humor now. But the bad thing is, it's more... You're not funny? So you can see that she wants to laugh. She's begging for some good content. She's developed my sense of humour but it works back against me. So it's like I'm trying to be nice with my kid and everything and she's just being my sense of humour back against me. So it's like, I'm, I'm like trying to be nice with my kid and everything.

And she's just being my sense of humor back to me. So she's just like fucking brutal to me all the time. So she literally, I reckon this is one of the best heckles I've ever had. I was at your house the other day. I might be getting this interaction slightly wrong, but at one point you said to your daughter, and now what did I tell you to call me?

And she goes, King daddy. i was like jesus christ no you got that right i still i still request that my kids who are 21, 19 and 15 call me Papa Clutch. Oh, really? Papa Clutch? Papa Clutch, yeah. It basically started with playing basketball and having shootout competitions. And I'd be like, you know, just call me Papa Clutch. I like it.

Papa Clutch, you know, Clutch play. He makes the shots. And they hate it so much. Like they'd never – I've kind of thought if they had this laugh the first time, I would have just dropped it. But because they – and I say, okay, it's for money. It might be on Christmas Day or one of their birthdays. It's $20 for a three-point or a free throw competition.

And the rule is they have to thank the sponsor, Papa Clutch, for putting the day on. And they refuse they actually give up 20 bucks oh really I raise it to 50

bucks they still they won't even pay up they will not say the terms of Papa Clutch do they pay up

do they give you money no they forego if I win I just don't get the pay so there's no there's absolutely

no risk for them whatsoever other than their pride exactly right I'm not filming it I'm not posting it on social media So there's absolutely no risk for them whatsoever other than their pride. Exactly right. I'm not filming it. I'm not posting it on social media. It's just literally in our driveway under our basketball court, our ring.

And all you've got to do is say thanks to Papa Clutch. Thanks to our sponsors. Is the idea that Papa Clutch as the sponsor, is that some kind of business? Is that some kind of company? It's not Papa Clutch. It's a brand. It's like a brand. It's like Papa Clutch is a brand. Or Papa Clutch is like a... He's like a brand. It's like Air Jordan.

Oh, okay, right. He's not just like a wealthy benefactor kind of thing. No, well, Papa Clutch is me. Yeah. But in this world that I've created, he's become bigger than that. And he has a line of shoes. Maybe they get more into it.

Maybe you've just got to fill them in on the law a bit. You've got to flesh this thing out and come to them with a full Bible, like a full document about Papa Clutch. I don't think they want to hear more into it. Maybe you've just got to fill them in on the lore a bit. You've got to flesh this thing out and come to them with a full Bible, like a full document about Papa Clutch. I don't think they want to hear more about it. I'm pretty sure they want to hear less. They would see that as a dad joke though. Yeah, they do.

Because that's the thing about dad jokes, because at the moment you would be killing, right? Because your daughter's five. Look, I get a lot of laughs, but it's very tickle-based. There's not a lot of like... But just cheating. Tickling sounds like faces. That's the thing about dad jokes that I've learned.

I don't know if you agree with this, but like you're killing for the first 10 years. You know, everything you do, you're like, you're the man. Then they get to teenage and they're like, that's lame. But you can never forget that 10 years when you were crushing. Right, you're chasing that high for the rest of your life. Right, and that's what dad jokes are. They're Right, you're chasing that high for the rest of your life. Right, and that's what dad jokes are.

They're like, remember I did that fart sound or whatever? And they're like 25 or whatever. I'd love to find out. The fart sound still goes okay in our house, I've got to say. The fart sound. The fart was a bad example. Dip out for a bit and then come back around. I'd love to find the world's unfunniest dad.

Like what is the youngest age that a kid has tapped out and been like, Dad, you suck. Just like a four-year-old going, you're not funny. If that's their first word, that's awesome. Yeah, not funny. You're like crying. I'm so happy. But also like depressing. Just the first word's cringe.

Next. Well, my kid's obsessed we've talked a lot on the shows I shit the bed in Thailand six months ago and I said that

as really offhand very brave yeah I said it I said it really offhand to her we're in a new territory now she's never forgotten it's not metaphorically

sorry yeah yeah literally did it like my wife's like don't tell her that I'm like no this will be funny just to

she was crying you crying to distract her. So I just said, oh, daddy did a poo in the bed and she got obsessed with it. And I hear about it all the time and whatever. The longer this goes, I really think this is like her first true core memory. Does she ever bring up anything that's happened before this? I reckon three to one,

three to one, that's the things that she remembers. For every one thing she remembers from the past, three times is daddy did a poo in the bed in time. Yeah, okay. All right. Yeah. That's a great first memory. It's so good.

Yeah, it really is. It's like she goes, literally this happened the other day. You know, sometimes she'll have a tablet before bed and sometimes she'll have a book and bed and sometimes she'll have a book and the other day she's like, oh, get me a book. And I go... She's not just popping a pill.

I didn't think you were very casually going, we drug her before something. That's normal, right? Just to make her forget all the things I've done during the day, you know. You know, that SpongeBob chewable Valium that they make. So, no, it's like an iPad and she watches stuff like that and then she she gets a book and so we did jack and the beanstalk she was telling me that story classic and i go okay so we did that

story we got to the end and she literally goes at the end she goes now can i tell you a story i'm like okay she goes once upon a time daddy did a poo in the bed oh yes awesome yes that's good that's actually good it is far enough back relative to her life it is like you know those fairy tales are always taking place back in ancient times

yeah that's like six months ago for her that's like you know an eighth of her life or something yeah that's so far back

and it's a big difference with her being told about it like and hearing about it as opposed to her walking in yeah and seeing the scene

yes that's too that's a different problem. It's such a good callback. Like, there was nothing to do with Daddy doing a poo in the bed for, like, a day before that. And then she just springs it on me at the end. Like, that's the last thing she said before she went to sleep.

You know, go, see your dad. You did a poo in the bed, the end. I mean, this really does make the stakes of what Damo's talking about so much higher, the idea that at a certain point, you know, you stop killing. The day when you go to your daughter, when she's like 11 and go, remember when Daddy pooed the bed? She goes, Daddy, grow up.

Yes. You're possessed. That day is coming, man. That day is coming. Man, it's here. Last week she goes, so the thing that always kills is like, you know, we talk about poo and bish. Bish means wee for some reason.

Right. And so, yeah, that gets the big laugh. Anything to do with that, like poo land and bish bish means wee for some reason right um and so yeah that gets a big laugh anything to do with that like poo land bish land toilet killing it's the best it is there's nothing better you're crushing and then i took it to like the other day there were no elections she's four years and 11 months and it happened the other day she goes i did some poo reference and she goes oh daddy why is it always got about be about poo oh shit that's how it begins but you'll be doing that joke when you're 60 yeah it's the same because what you're saying most special what you were saying about the meditation thing reminded me of some of my dad.

After he had heart surgery, he had fentanyl being dripped into him, right? Which is like 100 times stronger than heroin. Still annoyed. Not even chilled out. Not at all. Like, where's the nurse? Hurry up. What's going on?

When's this fucking hospital? I'm like, he's on fentanyl, IV. Didn't make a dent. Yeah, negative thinking at its most powerful. At least you know he's never going to be susceptible to trying heroin. If even the thing that's 100 times stronger didn't chill me out, then what's the point? Like, that's the power of negative thinking. You know what I mean?

I like that. That's very positive thinking of Tommy. Hey, at least, Damien, at least your 70-year-old dad will probably not become a junkie. Yeah. Well, that's my plan when I'm, you know, Alan Arkin in Little Miss Sunshine, when I'm like, you know, when I'm 70. Yeah.

You know, I'm on the way out anyway. Must be pretty good. People ruin their lives on it. Yeah, I reckon that's a great way to go. Go out on heroin. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to be on the nod in the nursing home anyway.

No one will suspect a thing. Yeah. Well, you're talking about you having this angry week. I'm still basking in the glow of what we talked about last week. Newly engaged. Life is sweet. Well done. Congratulations.

That's huge. You're actually separated from your partner, the mother of your child. That's right, yeah. Thanks for the reminder. you're uh the mother of your child that's right yeah um thanks for the reminder yeah what do you the way you said mother of child then i'm like yeah so thanks man let's get into that since we're having all these happy family stories vicious and poo jokes. You're separated from the mother of your child, aren't you? Well, I just want to, I feel like there might be a, you know, the bit of the, like, because, you know, there's also people that I know that are in, like,

pretty unhappy relationships that I've told recently. And you just feel them glaring at you being like, we'll see. You know, people bring so much of their own baggage to the news. Oh, yeah, for sure. But I was in the street the other day. I was on the phone to a friend of the show, Harley Breen. I was walking down the street on the phone to him, and I had just like the one AirPod in to be on the phone.

And I'm walking along, we're just chatting, and I'm like, oh, and by the way, there's some news. Me and Lauren got engaged last week. And he's like, and as I'm saying this, this guy walks out of a shop at that i'm walking past and he's like facing the side of me that the airpods not in so he hears me say that and he goes oh mate congratulations that's fantastic news how wonderful and i'm and i'm laughing and then harley's on the phone being like, what the fuck is going on?

And I'm like, oh, this guy has just come out of a shop and thought that I was talking to him. And then now the guy's like, oh, shit, sorry, you're on the phone. You weren't just telling – I just thought you were telling a stranger this beautiful news. Just a crazy person I met telling himself out loud that I got engaged. Yeah. I live in a musical.

I'm just walking down the street grabbing strangers and telling them my news and uh and so then he's like oh mate i'm sorry to interrupt but you know genuinely congratulations that's so wonderful and he walks off and then i'm just continuing my call with harley i'm like oh yeah just explaining what's happened i'm like pretty weird and uh and then like 30 seconds, I turn around and the guys come back and he's handing me his business card. And he goes, if you need a photographer for the wedding. And I look at the card and he's a photographer.

And so I'm like, we've got to get this guy. It's too good of a yarn. This guy's got to be pretty dog shit to fuck this job up from now. Well, then I looked on his socials, just did all his recent photos. I went as far back as I could go. I don't think he's ever shot a wedding in his life. Or if he has, he hasn't deemed it worthy to go on the gram. But the last thing he did photograph,

the Wog Boys live show. Yes. We have ourselves a photographer. Oh, yeah. Mate, if you can get the Monaro from that film for us to drive off in. Or you put the cans on the back and just marry us. If he can capture that magic. He's photographed the wog boy.

Now he's going to photograph the fake wog boy, Tommy Dasolo. There we go. I mean, this is just getting more and more perfect. You know, you've got to start somewhere. See, that's a lovely difference between me and you maybe. You're on the phone distracted. You get congratulations and a wedding photographer. I have a fucking mental breakdown, lose and steal my own bag.

Yeah, yeah. I'd love to know if those two things were happening at the exact same time. That would be beautiful to know. Well, if we were talking to each other on the phone at the same time and those two different things happened, that would be insane. Yeah. That would be so good. We should get on the phone one day and walk around

until something good happens to me and something bad happens to you and see how long it takes. That would be a great podcast. Me and you talk to each other every day to see how bad it gets for me and how good it gets for you. Yeah, yeah. Keep a log. Do some journaling.

Could be a great podcast. Could be a really bad one too. Yeah, yeah. Keep a log. Do some journaling. Could be a great podcast. Could be a really bad one too. Yeah, totally. There's only one way to find out. Totally. But I was in the gym the other day and this couple were in there who have been traveling for a little bit.

I normally chat to them before the classes and they were back. And so I was just chatting. It's like a class session. A class session, yeah, 45. So there's like maybe a couple of minutes before the whole thing kicks off. So just kind of milling around chatting to them and the guy's like,

oh, what have you been up to? I'm like, oh, I got engaged last week. And he's like, oh, congratulations. Have you got any plans for the wedding yet? And I was like, no. And you know what I would never have expected about getting engaged is that like everyone's straight out the gate. Like it's happened three days ago.

People immediately are like, what are you doing for the wedding? And it's like, it's just insane to me to like, I just got up off one knee. Like there's, you know what I mean? Just give us some time to just bask in this. And he goes, yeah, mate, I get it. I get it. Like, you know, we, we got engaged and we were just getting us that flat out and we got sick of it.

So we called the whole thing off after a week. I'm like, I'm sitting there just reeling and then the class starts and he like leaves straight after the class so i never got the chance to like follow up on this and go so wait you called off the engagement after one week because you were getting asked about the wedding and you hated being asked about the wedding and yet that's literally the first thing that you said to me. Yes. You having had that experience, now you're just passing it on? I think someone got fucking dumped.

Yeah, I feel like there's more going on here. Someone got ghosted and it's like, fuck, what do I blame this on? Yeah. No, but he was there with his partner. I got asked too much about the wedding. No, but she was right there. Oh, she's still there? She's right there. Well, i assume that's the current partner or maybe that he's talking about with someone else no i reckon someone else that's i gotta i gotta get to the

bottom of this that's a weak engagement if people ask about it too much you're like you know let's just call the whole thing i mean i'm in love with you and all but too many questions yeah yeah yeah yeah did you fall out of love? No, we just got slightly annoyed. It's a shame we're still in love. We don't see each other anymore. Too many people ask about our relationship. Oh, how's your girlfriend?

Oh, fuck this. Too much hassle. Love isn't worth it. Where's that love movie? There's the time that I'm spending with her and there's the time I'm answering questions about her. I'm just getting nothing done. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah i thought that was so what are you doing for the wedding yeah good question um well i've had a couple of i've had a couple of thoughts here's here's one

thing i like the idea of um you know how people will do the like they'll renew the vows yeah you know they get married and then like 20 years later they do another little ceremony. We elope. We just do the paperwork. Yuck. And then we have a party a week later, but we frame it as we're renewing our vows. Oh, that's good. Okay. It's been a big week.

Just after all this time, I just want to get together in front of people again and just say that I still feel the same way I did down at City Hall one week ago. And then everyone will suspect, it's like, did you cheat on Wednesday? And that's what this is about. Right, right. That's what a lot of those renewing vows are about, I think. It's like someone's fucked up somewhere. Yeah.

And then they have to renew the vows because it's like, oh, that wipes the slate clean, doesn't it? If we didn't get married again. That reminds me of a crazy Queensland wedding I went to with this dude, this mate of mine, he's got the 4X man tattooed on his arm yeah just gonna that's just set that up yeah we're picturing the guy i remember i remember going to him he'd been to he wasn't he's not a close mate he's like a mate of a mate and he he i said he

said he'd been to the forex brewery tour and um he goes yeah, yeah, mate, had a beer out of the main vein straight from the brewery. And I said, oh, yeah, what was that like? And he kind of got annoyed and he was like, it's the icest, coldest piss you'll ever drink. So anyway, so he's... So did he have the tattoo before the brewery tour or...? No, no, he had it before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I like the idea that he does the tour and he's like, I got to hit the brewery tour or no no he had it before yeah yeah okay i i like the idea that he does the tour and he's like i gotta hit the tattoo parlor yeah no i like the idea of the best there's a tattoo parlor on the tour oh yeah you're getting a tour of the brewery go do you want to remember this tree not not with us not with a souvenir you can buy but one we can put on your body yeah his his wife's main thing at the wedding was that he had a great speech and he was just drinking all day and then he got up and he just went, drink up.

Great. That's all he said? That's all he said. And they walked off and they had a massive fight at the wedding because he just went, fucking drink up, boys. Like that. That was it. The ice is cold as piss in the world.

That's all anyone wants to hear, really. Yeah, yeah. Let us party. Absolutely. My cousin just cancelled his wedding. They're still getting married, but he's cancelling the actual event. Okay. And they're having a much smaller one.

Why is that? Well, I'm not sure if it comes down to finances or whatever. I'm not sure. Right. But he's a pretty simple guy. Great guy. Fun guy. But he, I don't say it very often, finances or whatever I'm not sure but he's a pretty simple guy great guy fun guy but he I don't say very often

but last time I saw him I said how did you meet you know your fiance and he said ah it's just on the map

and I just went around there and I took over a bottle of Jim Beamons and Cheezels fucking hell bad start bad start that is like

but that is like that is for me that's love for me, that's love. I can hear a nicest, coldest piss speech coming up. If you rock up somewhere with Jim Beam and Cheezles and you end up marrying that person. Yeah. That's fucking impressive, I think. So you start low and, yeah.

Start low. Yeah. You know, and then she's brought low. But, I mean, I guess there's that two ways of thinking about it. It's like you bring over Jim Beam-Cheesle and goes, well, if she's impressed by this, then great, she must really like me. Or if she's impressed by that, she might be a bit mental. It could be a nice combination of both.

I mean, who knows? My friend was telling me his engagement story, which I'd never heard before, and it's awesome. Like he's married now but so he he had he had the ring for a bit he knew he was going to do it he was just kind of like had it on him like pretty you know nearly at all times just kind of he didn't have like a big plan for how he would do it he was just like i'll keep this on me and when the moment presents itself that feels right i'll do it and he was at a box where he just had gotten so fucked. They'd taken acid.

He gets in at like 5.30 a.m. or something. His partner is just getting up for his girlfriend getting up to go to work. And he's so high. And he's like been at this box. And so all this kind of stuff is on his mind. And he goes to her, hypothetically, if I was to ask you to marry me, would you say yes? And she goes, you're not going to ask me to marry you. And he goes, oh, aren't

I? Because he's got the ring on him. He's even just had the ring at the box while he's getting sideways all the last night. You're bringing a ring with you to a box party? At that point, he's like, I just had it on me at all times. I never knew when the moment might happen. He thought To a Bucks party At that point he's like I just had it on me At all times Just in You know Just I never knew

When it was When the moment Might happen He thought He thought he might Propose on the Bucks night Yeah To a stripper maybe

But he's like He's like I was waiting For the perfect moment And then what The perfect moment Was you on acid And her calling your bluff

Yeah Like you sort of Doing it out of spite Don't take an important ring With you on acid Yeah I can see a Lord of the Rings thing happening at some point. Sure, Bucks and I.

Doing that thing where you're at the strip club and you're like, I can get you away from all this. And they're like, no, you can't. Oh, can't I? Yeah, I love to get one up on her, you know, when you do the engagement. It's like, don't propose to Chastity when that's not even a real name.

Yeah, at least know her name first. There's always that one bloke who falls in love with a stripper at a box party yeah it's always when she asked me to pull the chuppa chuppa out i knew it was you know when she when she chose me i knew yeah there's a thing going on between no she said she was giving me a discount and i i believe it um i do i like the idea of doing the like just doing the very like small paperwork thing and then like having the party and doing like a kind of you know like a mock vows thing because what's nice about that is that you because you're already legally married you don't need to get like a registered celebrant so you can you can just get whoever you know to read to like do that bit.

So then I got thinking like, man, who's a big fish I could land? Arch Barker. I mean, that would be great. I think he's a big fan of the art of holy matrimony. But what do you think, Pete? If I called you up in like whatever, a year's time, and I went, are you interested in coming down and being our fake celebrant, doing the vows? I would be absolutely honoured.

You'd have to give me some time. Papa clutch, vicar clutch? Papa clutch. That's the condition. You'll have to thank the sponsors. All right, you know, traditionally the father of the bride pays for the wedding, but in this instance, we've had a much more wealthy benefactor

in the form of the great folks down there at Papa Clutch. Then Hughes, you'll find out, and Hughes, you'll say, no, I want to do it, I want to do it. Yes, how'd you get that gig? I mean, that is my dream. I truly, I really am thinking, like, how big could I get? If I like, if I worked on this, if I've got like a year to cast a bit of a net and like land a big, a big fish. Well, you've already got the one boy photographer.

I mean, that's. Oh, imagine that. Yeah, he could probably get you one of the wogs. Yeah. If I may be so bold. I don't want just one of the wogs i want the world yeah i want the world but if i get onto this photographer and i go you've got the gig on one condition yeah you gotta bring me nicky yeah you gotta bring me i reckon hot tip i reckon you could get vince colossimo pretty easy

so you could go there you go up the wog chain you end up at vince yeah yeah all right what i liked the idea of was um a uh you know maybe like a borat impersonator absolutely you know he's got the mankini on under the tux that's classy you know that'd be good oh yeah yeah yeah um the sky's the limit here really and uh i don't think my my fiancee is she's she's like i keep floating stuff and she's like i don't i don't really want anything too big. Like I'm not, you know, I'm not fussy. I'm not particular about any of this stuff. This is a bad directive to give me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys, I get the impression this engagement might be cancelled in four days. This will not see the week out. She's like, people keep asking me what we're doing for the week. This episode's going to come out. She'll listen to it. No, it's off. You might have heard the front door close right before I started this line of conversation.

I reckon there's a big difference between I'm not too fussy and having a Borat impersonator as your minister. That's a big gap. That's like when girls say, I'm not too fussed about what you get me for Christmas, and then they are. That's more extreme again than that. There's a big gap. That's like when girls say, I'm not too fussed about what you get me for Christmas and then they are. That's more extreme again than that. There's a big fucking difference. Yeah, I don't know.

Well, I mean, look, it doesn't have to be someone stupid. If I could get like a... It doesn't have to be someone stupid. If I could get an Australian show business darling to marry us. Yeah, that would be good. You know what? My friend had, just quickly, my friend got Axel Whitehead to perform at their wedding and it was like...

That's an Australian Idol contestant from about 15 years ago. Was he a contestant? I thought he was a... No, he was a contestant and he hosted some stuff and then he got his dick out at the Arias. That's right. Which you've got to pay extra for at the wedding. Well, my friend, I was like, how'd you –

because, yeah, his now wife loves Axel Whitehead. And so he – I was like, man, that's such a great – and so she didn't know. She didn't know that Axel Whitehead was going to appear and perform at the wedding. So he lines this all up as a surprise. And I was saying to him, like, man, that's a good get. How'd you line that up?

And he goes, you would be amazed at how easy it was. Like I hit him up on Instagram and he did it for just like a motel room. Oh my God. Drive himself down, just, you know, did the gig and then just like went back to the, yeah, $40 a night room. I've gotten him down the road. Desperate times. I know.

It costs you a motel room, but another $500 if I have to keep the dick in. That's his papa clutch. Speaking of B-grade and C-grade and D-grade Australian celebrities, what about this? So I know someone, and I won't reveal the full details because it's a bit of an embarrassing story, but I know someone, and I won't reveal the full details because it's a bit of an embarrassing story,

but I know someone that was, well, I guess scammed in some way because someone I know started sort of saying to people, oh, they're in a relationship, and it was like, oh, okay, when are we going to meet this guy? It's like, oh, whatever. And then it sort of turns into, it goes on for weeks and weeks, and it's like, okay, when are we going to meet this guy? I was like, oh,

it's sort of online at the moment. It's like, oh, do they live close by or whatever it is? And it's like, oh, you know,

very loathe to give out details and whatever. And it got to a point where it's like, oh, you know, you know, they're going to come and visit soon

and all this sort of stuff. Like, okay, great, great. And then it sort of hit the fan and went, I think something's wrong.

I think something's gone wrong. Like, oh, what's happened here it's like oh well there's there's money involved it's like oh here we fucking go right and this person has fallen for it before which is the insane thing is that this has happened before so this is a catfishing yes that's now happening for yes but the thing is it's like so they they didn't want to uh disclose what had happened like oh well who's the person i can't say why is that because they're using a fake account they can't use their own real name why can't they use their own real name well because they're actually like a you know a bit a bit famous and so they're using a different name to talk to me like okay and then so that that was the extent of the details that

was coming out and it was like not couldn't say who it was but was saying there's like celebrity involved and then that's the point where i'm like oh my god i've got to fucking find out who this is who this person thinks they're going out with on facebook messenger so like not i'll invite you guys to to guess to guess because this is what i was doing i was just running through and going who's believable like what level of celebrity could just a really normal person in the suburbs like just think they're going steady with on facebook messenger is australian australian australian yes okay yeah because like actual whitehead that's a good i think if. Because like actual whitehead, that's a good... I think if you were trying to catfish someone, that's a good one.

Like someone low level. Someone whose name is known but is not like currently very busy. Yeah, you can't go like Russell Crowe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's too far unbelievable. You've got to find someone in the middle. No, but yeah, totally.

People would do Russell Crowe. People would be like, hey hey what's up it's me russell yeah like if if rebecca and emma loglu from neighbors hit me up on facebook messenger i'll be like oh this is like too far for me but like this is in the believable sort of right yeah you know what i mean yeah no i get no i get is knollsy too much i think Knowlesy's maybe a bit too much. John Safran? Safran. Just the weirdest. It's like, okay, I don't know how I feel about this.

But totally, that's what's interesting about it. Yeah. Well, if you're posing as a scammer and you were trying to be a believable Australian celebrity. If I was going to catfish someone. Yeah, yeah. Australia's best Trump impersonator. Who do you reckon you'd be? It feels like it needs to befish someone. Yeah, yeah. Australia's best Trump impersonator. Who do you reckon you'd pick? It feels like it needs to be somebody to get them excited enough.

Yes. That's why I went with Nolsi. Like, somebody who's a little bit bigger than... Yes. I mean, Nolsi's, you know, Nolsi's big. Yeah. No, no, totally. And I think I would not go with that because I think that's too big.

It's too big. Yeah, but it's, yeah, it's on the right. It's like, it's got to be a name that everyone knows. Yeah. It's hard to find that level of like... Brooke Satchwell. Oh, yeah. Brooke Satchwell, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. That kind of vibe. Who's that guy? Mr. Inbetween. Yeah, yeah. He's such a man of mystery that he could just... That's a good one. He could just pop up in the...

No one knows any... He doesn't have any official accounts. What's his real name? Ray's in... Scott, I think. Scott Ryan? Scott Ryan, maybe. Scott Ryan, you're right. Yeah's Scott Scott I think Scott Ryan Scott Ryan

you're right yeah Scott Ryan I wouldn't personally I wouldn't pick a guy who's well known as a fucking

executioner to be the guy that's like trying to catfish but he's I mean if you get the right person

that's into that show yeah Scott Dooley Scott Dooley I mean that's kind of the area Scott Dooley's another good one I mean he's been on the area Scott Dooley's another good one

I mean he's been on radio He's sort of like Think he's single I don't know I have no idea Lindsay the Doctor McDougal Oh yeah That's a good one

Yeah I like that That's a good one Yeah I like that That's all good Triple J hosts Just all Triple J hosts

Robbie Buck Yeah Richard Kingsmill Tom Ballard yeah probably not the right person for this yeah

well you just have to hope you are definitely getting scammed yeah on the scams just quickly I was away

over the weekend and a friend of mine got a message few friends of mine are really you know like a lot of people trying to get

Taylor Swift tickets and a friend of mine was like oh an ex-colleague just messaged me that he's got um four tickets and so it turns into this whole thing of like our other friend who's keen like rings around like yep group of us we're in get the tickets and so she's going back and forth and then all of a sudden she starts to go oh i don't know about she's made a couple of spelling mistakes in this message which is not like him. I think this might, he might have been, what can I do? And I'm like, if you have his number, like call him or, you know,

all those things that you can do. But also this has gone, this has played out over like four hours or something. And so eventually she's like, yep, it was a scam. And I was like, how come it took you so long to work out? Like, didn't you think it was weird that this guy just this ex-colleague just hit you up with four tickets to taylor swift and she goes not really he doesn't really have any mates that's brutal not only have you been hacked and used as a phishing account yeah but it's that believable because you have no mates that would be great

like we're saying you know we're trying to pick a mid-level celebrity it would be believable because you have no mates. That would be great. Like we're saying, we're trying to pick a mid-level celebrity. It would be believable. That's great if the hacker has, on purpose, picked someone with no mates. Yeah. So he hacks and he's looking at the DM log and he's like, boy, not many messages in here. Yes. Yeah.

No friend requests. I feel like the hacker deserved that one. It would have liked to have seen him get it. That's pretty good research. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Find a loser to impersonate. So maybe the ideal catfish celebrity needs to be someone who's known as not having a very wide social circle.

Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you can't pick someone who you're, like, regularly seeing, you know, papped with, you know. Alex Paps. Alex Paps. Oh, that's not bad.st with, you know. Alex Pabst. Alex Pabst. Oh, that's not bad. That's good.

Who's Alex Pabst? He was massive on Home and Away. Played Frank on Frank and Bobby. And he's popped up a little bit more recently. He kind of disappeared for a while, but he's popped up. He's on The Factory on ABC. That's right. He's hosting.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was... But see, this is good. You don't know who he is He's not too famous I've heard the name though There'd be a certain demo That would be really into it

That would be yeah yeah Was he on Some Fisk An episode of Fisk or two Oh yeah Are athletes out Athlete Did you say

Or did you say entertainment area No I didn't say I didn't rule anything out Okay Yeah But yeah go with an athlete If you want Athletes

Athletes yeah What about Now that you asked that you don't even know the name I can't think of a single athlete the first place I went

is Shane Warne I'm like I'm far lap I'm not the best at improv you said Warne I don't think that's happening

I think this might be a fake account yeah dug myself into a hole there no go on you were saying athletes

Jamie Durie oh yeah see that's I mean in my opinion Yeah. Dug myself into a hole there. No, go on. You were saying athletes. Jamie Durie. Yes. I mean, in my opinion. We're trying to guess who the person was. No, no, no. You're not trying to. I was saying who you would think is believable. Who you'd go as.

Who you would do if you were trying to be a fake account. Yeah. Do you know the answer to this? I do know the answer to this. It took me two weeks. It took me two weeks. What area? What area? Let's took me two weeks. What area? Let's start guessing.

What area? Movies. Movies? Okay. Stephen Curry. No, no. Too big? I'll just say no.

Okay, all right. Because Stephen Curry feels pretty... This is... Oh, Stephen Curry. Yeah, he's he's pretty Dave O'Neill no

can't yeah I can't come visit you tonight we're filming The Nugget 2 so I'm just flat out no the idea of being

a catfisher is to try and make yourself look more desirable than what you really are so no it doesn't work like that

yeah okay okay movies and they're look more desirable than what you really are so no it doesn't work like that yeah okay okay movies and they're Australian yep and this is and I want to say

I'm going to say this is this story is about someone who believed this and then went back and forth with this person and

and yeah we'll know the name it's not like an up and comer that we may not know you'll know the name. It's not like an up and comer that we may not know. You'll know the name. Yeah. Richard Roxburgh.

That's not bad. That's a good, yeah. But no, that's a good choice. But no. Eric Banner's too big. Well, Roxburgh's too big as well. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

Well, you do know. Well, no. That's the whole point of what we're doing. I mean, don't know was abbreviated from you don't know. Sorry, I know, but you don't. Oh, okay. So it's not Eric Banner. It's not Eric Banner.

Joel Edgerton. Would you all want one guess? One guess each now? We'll give you the answer. Oh, my God. Everything's on the table. Whatever you want. Can you say when was the last time they were in a film?

When was the last, yeah. Not ages ago. Like I can't, I couldn't tell you the exact film. Okay, so yeah, okay, recent. Recent. And strictly Australian work or are they, you know, have they done a bit of international? Everything's on the table.

What do you mean? Anything's possible. Fucking hell. Where's my fucking backpack? Switch on the meditation at this point. Don't use the Peloton one. I'm getting the anger. Don't use the Peloton one.

We've switched. You've relaxed because you're the quiz master. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm getting wound up. By the way, the Peloton thing made me mad because I switched to the meditation app because I bought it specifically for

the Liverpool coach Jurgen Klopp does a 20 minute talk while you run and I'm like this will be great for when

I run but then I buy it and I get it and it's completely in German and I'm like

I can't fucking understand any of this and so I'm running the laps and like and Germany

is not relaxing the least relaxing language ever I actually tried to let it motivate me for a lap.

Like this German guy yelling at me for a lap and I'm like, ah, no, fuck, I better get the meditation. That was worse. It got me mad. First they kill Mr. Big and now this. Yeah. God.

Guess, come on. Okay. Australian actor. I can think of the dude's face. He was in improv and stuff. Someone has believed Was going out with them Someone I know

Has believed Was going out with them Australian actor I can't think of his fucking name In improv Yeah he was like improv But then he got into acting Rob Carlton

Josh Lawson Yes That's exactly who I was thinking of That's not bad That's not bad at all That's a great guess Is it In general It's not right That's great Okay Well then it's not bad at all. That's a great guess. Is it? In general.

It's not right, but it's great. Okay. Well, then it's not a great guess. There's only one great guess. I liked it. Yeah, exactly. I just liked it personally. That means it's in the ballpark.

That means it's in the ballpark. I personally liked it. Yeah. That's the level. I enjoy your work. Thank you. Yeah. Damon Herriman.

Oh, that's a good one. That is a good one. That's not bad. That is a good one. I like it. Great man. Great man. Great actor. There can only be one right answer, and that's not it one that is a good one that's not bad that is a good one I like it great man great actor there can only be one

right answer and that's not it okay oh man I'm going to google Australian actors okay and just see

I'm not very supportive of the Australian film industry I know I'm not Jesus Christ who was that I'm trying to think of the last Australian film

I watched it's not the car that split in half in the movie Malcolm okay oh okay I'm going to have to really scroll down here yeah and a half in the movie, Malcolm. Okay. Oh, okay. I'm going to have to really scroll down here. Heath Ledger.

You scrolled down too deep. That's in the ground. Okay. All right. Ben Mendelsohn. Oh, that's great. It's a great guess. I could see someone believing that Mendo'sieving that Mendo's Heading them up

Yeah Great guesses Do you want the answer? This person I know Thought they were going out with Hugh Jackman Oh okay Oh fucking

Wow You led us down the path Yeah You were nudging us down The Alex Papps path Yeah Yeah Fucking hell

Josh Lawson Great guess Hugh Jackman Just the most famous actor. But that's what I was putting you in. Has he done any international work? Everything's on the table. Prove me wrong. But I mean, I was trying to put you in my mindset.

I'm like, this can't be the most famous Australian actor of all time. This person thought they were going out with Hugh Jackman. Who's famously married still. No, no, no. Oh, they split. Oh, they split recently, yeah. So that's probably part of the hackers. Yes, exactly. Looking for a rebound.

Do you want to come to Taylor Swift with me and bring two other friends? Yeah, and you know, Hugh Jackman would be struggling to meet someone. That's why he's on Facebook Messenger hitting up. Did you find out what the fake name that the hacker was like? The whole thing was he can't be on Messenger under his real name. Fuck.

I'm making a note of that. I've got to find out the fake name. That's a nice twist by the hacker, I think, to go straight up as, hey, what's up? It's me, Hugh Jackman. I have a picture. You know what I mean? Like his actual account. hey, what's up? It's me, Hugh Jackman. I have a picture. You know what I mean? Like, you know, like his actual account.

Yeah, that's it. If you just go, oh, I'm on here under a pseudonym, you can just be using your own account. Totally, yeah. I'm on here under this fake persona of Tommy Dasolo, but it is me, Leonardo DiCaprio. I just have to go on here under this insane fake name to throw off all the fans.

I even created a podcast. I put on a weird little voice. I even wasted my career. Just for this scam. No, you've got to find out that. You've got to find out the fake name. But then you know the simple. That's going to be my, whatever the fake the simple... That's going to be my...

Whatever the fake name is, that's going to be my papa clutch if we ever have kids. My kids are going to have to thank, you know... Yeah. Call me Wolverine Jack. Yeah. Yeah. I've got to find out this fake name. You've already got one fake name.

Jack Human. Can I either change this name to this new fake name? Yeah, yeah. Can I get it? Yeah. And what I love about it is that the scam, you know, because, you know, it's always like this. How do you do the scam? How do you get the money out of someone? Like, so the scam was...

Oh, yeah. What was... That's a great... Yeah, what was Hugh looking for money? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Exactly. So Hugh's on Facebook messages, just scrolling around looking for new eligible women to talk to.

Yep. But then why does Hugh Jackman need money? Well, Hugh Jackman needed money because he sent this person a present and then went, oh, it's then this person gets the text going, oh, your present's been stuck in customs. You need to send this money to get it out of customs. Right. Which I'm like, because I'm hearing this story and it's infuriating like i'm i'm at gym level of yeah anger going why the fuck would you fall for the dumbest fucking most obvious trick of all time like that that trick

of like oh yeah it's been stuck in custom but how much can you pay to get out of customs it's gonna be like we'll need four grand yeah yeah yeah I sent you a bunch of flowers you have to give us five grand to get them out like you can't get much like 80 bucks max totally

totally but here's the thing because like I'm like this is the stupidest scam of all time this is insane so I've told this story

to a couple of friends of mine and I've told it to like to my mum and my mum is like listening to it and all of the answers all the responses have been like this that I've told people to and mum. And my mum is listening to it. And all of the answers, all of the responses have been like this that I've told people to. And they go, yeah, and then this crazy story. And then the present gets sent and then it gets stuck in customs.

And isn't that the dumbest thing? Then you've got to pay for this. And they go, yeah, yeah, what a scam. And mum and everyone else has gone, yeah. So whatever happened to the present in customs? Like what? Where did that go? There's no present.

Oh, my God. There's no fucking present. You can't't run this story by your mom she's the target audience for the scans i'm like this is why people fall for these scans it's like everyone i told is like yeah what where do all the presents go in the end there's no fucking presents yeah i know i mean well i mean this is the you know the taylor swift tickets it's like it's the perfect thing it's like they're telling you something you want to believe. Absolutely. Everyone wants these tickets. There is about to be an absolute...

If you're a scammer, you are just... I think from now, from this week, you are like, it is on. This is the biggest pay. We stand to make potentially more money than Taylor on this tour if we play our cards right, if we hook the right people you know it's like a lot of these people who want tickets it's like yeah it's people that are in the age demographic where they're just starting to be susceptible i reckon that's a good point like i read somewhere that older australians are like per capita the most scammed people in the world really like we're super gullible i know my dad's been scammed a bunch. Really?

Yeah, just dumb shit, you know, just like, oh, no. Because I think older Australians are like. Damien, I've got a new husband. His name's Hugh Jackman. It's time for you to move out, Hugh Jackman. Hugh Jackman's moving in. You can call him Dad. That's fine.

I did love Wolverine, actually. That's what my dad would say to me. Oh, man. Something about older Australians, they get to an age where it's like, you know, a guy calls like, hello, this is the president of the world. And they're like, that sounds about right. Yeah, I'll send my passport immediately, president. Yeah.

Well, yeah, we'll wrap this up in a minute. But, Pete, because you recently have posted about this. You've been victim to like a uh this thing that goes around the the fake account pretending to be it happens a lot it happens a lot and all they ever do is it's like at peter hellier one and then you just follow all the same people and send a message being like hey this is a place where you can communicate directly with me i set this second account up so that I can talk to my fans without my management being able to...

Yeah, so basically, if you ever get a message from me, it's not from me, okay? Fucking hell, that explains a lot. It was that hot pussy five link you sent me. I was like, whatever, Pete, I'll see you later tonight. Fucking hell. What, are you running material by me? That was before he got the fake account, by the way.

You can't believe I sent my bobs and virgin to Pete Hellyer. My hot pussy messages are always text messages, Damien. But yeah, this is the one. It had no photo. It had no photo. That's great. My name was spelled incorrectly as well. I love that that has got more interactions than anything I've ever posted.

Just a fake. Peter Peter Hellion no photo. It's like engagements through the roof. Like, fucking hell. That is absolute bare minimum. You need to have the same profile pic and have it all look the same. A bit of effort. But, yeah, I get my auntie will send me messages saying, oh, you know, somebody's, are you asking a friend of mine

to be a friend on facebook well i'm not on fact like technically i'm on facebook i've got like a you know promotion page but it's not i'm not behind it really i don't really you know have much to do with it i'm trying to find my um but yes my auntie will text me often saying you know my friend is saying you're you're sending your messages to you know to someone's turned up to christ'm saying they're Pete Hellyer. Is this you? That's right. So, yeah, it's annoying. There was also one on Facebook,

you know, like the ones where there's pictures of like, you know, there's one of me when Ronny Chang was on and there's pictures of me and him sitting next to each other and they had like, you know, a transcript of the interview and it was all about cryptocurrency and all that.

That was bullshit. There was another God Dysfunction one that was real. No, that wasn't real. So, yeah, it's just annoying. So if you're famous enough and you're having this happen constantly, it just does give you an out for anything. You can just send anything to anyone and be like, oh, that was the hackers again.

That's a good point. Hot pussy too. That's a good point. I'm pussy too. That is not my dick. I want to clear this up now. That was the hacker's penis. Find yourself saying that. This one's my dick. See, compare them.

This is my dick, which is much worse. Compare the pair. Now, Pete, something I was going to bring up, something that we've talked about with you on the podcast before. Yes. Which you were talking about your festival run coming up. Yeah. It's probably like 10 years ago, such a long time ago.

I saw you in Adelaide, maybe first night, and the show was great. Yeah, of course. You had – I know, I was there. Ten years ago, I remember it well. I know the exact show. That was the good one. Yeah, yeah. You had a bit where you went in for a callback.

And by the way, this is something we've talked about privately for ten years. We love this. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is – yeah, you went for a callback. Like I said, first night of the show. Yeah. Overall, everything else kills, but there was just this one, you know, who knows what.

Sometimes there's just like, you've just left a little bit too much gap in between the original thing and the callback, but you're killing for the entire rest of the show. You do this callback. It flatlines. It gets nothing. And you, in a moment of desperation on stage, you just go, from before. But what I like is you point back in time.

You were sort of pointing. You're like, from before. Remember I said that thing earlier? Sometimes you need to hold their hands a little bit. You point back in time. You point to 40 minutes ago yeah yeah

I love it and I taped a special at the end of last year so we've for 10 years if we do a callback or

something like that we will say to each other from before from before is this morning I've seen

Tommy already this morning we went and did radio this morning I come back two hours later I knock on the door he opens and I said from before tom ballard's a huge fan of it

as well and uh yeah so i did i taped a special at the end of last year and i have a bit where there's this end this little cartoon character comes in it's voiced by ben russell and uh it's like a and i go oh it's you were the culprit all along, the thing. And, you know, the character is a callback. So I do a long drawn out thing where I go, from before. And then Ben Russell in the character goes, yes, that's right, from before. And I asked Tom to give me a bit of just a bit of like just, you know, throw some stuff into the script before I did it. And I sent him the thing and he was doing the little, you know,

you do the highlight text and you can hover over it and the little note pops up yeah and uh i'm going through the stuff he's he's sent to me and i get to that bit and i hover over the little note and it just says from tom fantastic stuff here would not change this at all man the other night i did a call back and i hadn't done the joke. Yeah, that's always good. Yeah, so I was like, oh, just, yeah, oh, well. That hasn't happened yet. Not from before. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not from nothing. Yeah. Because if you're doing multiple gigs in a night, sometimes you get to that point, you've got to get, have I done that routine? Oh, yeah. Like sometimes before I even do the routine, I'm like, have I done this routine in this show

that I did in the last one? Yeah. The only thing I would say about the, is your description. I don't think it would have been out of desperation. I think it would have been out of like, no, I'm not fucking getting, you're not getting away with not laughing at that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, I'll let you know. Yeah. Well, that's why I was, yeah, because the whole rest of the show was just one of those random things that happens sometimes where like the audience are so into the whole thing. And then just randomly for one little bit, they're like, no, we all had a meeting before this.

And we've decided just for this one little bit, no thanks. No, but what I love about it is not that anything fucked up or anything. I love the summation of a callback. Like a callback means I'm saying something to remind you of something that happened before. And it looks like an accident. It looks like magic it's planned like that whatever it is

but that's if you had to break it down into two words that's the best way to do it from before like that's that's a perfect distillation you know how they talk about

why that's funny cellar door is the most beautiful combination of words in the English language for me it's from before I love it wait

what it reminds me of just the cellar door did you say yeah why cellar door just the phonetics of it For me, it's From Before. I love it. It's what it reminds me of. Celador, did you say? Yeah. Why Celador? Just the phonetics of it. I think the phonetics of it, yeah. But see, From Before does sound phonetically similar. It does.

But it refers to something. Celador, From Before. Yeah. I think From F has got a bit too much jag on it. Yeah, maybe. I think it's meant to be the true Celador. Yeah, yeah. Celador is like liquid.

Liquid words. Well, we were saying the other day that it would be a great subtitle for a sequel. Oh, maybe. To be a true celladule. Yeah, yeah. Celladule is like liquid. Liquid words. Well, we were saying the other day that it'd be a great subtitle for a sequel. Oh, yeah. From before. Predator 2, from before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Do you happen to remember what the callback was by any chance? Oh, God. You know what? You've become obsessed about obsessed about what gig was it i can already feel subconsciously like we're going this is so great from before and you're going yeah tell me more about the bits that like were killed instead of the bit that didn't kill yeah you need to be like the grateful dead record and release every show and then you'll be able to instantly go back into the archive of 2015.

You know what? I have a vague feeling that it was something to do with a milk bar. With a milk bar. Okay. You know, your milk bar material. Your milk bar material, yeah. And then your milk bar material that was good enough to call back to later in the show. Part one and part two milk bar bits.

I do realise now that I've done it long enough that I do completely forget routines that I've done. Oh, that's like someone comes up to you and they're like, oh, I saw your show six years ago and you've got this bit that I still quote to this day. It's the funniest piece of comedy I've ever heard. And you're like, I have absolutely no memory of it. But it's so funny because often when people do that,

it's often, not all the time, but it's more than you would think it's routines that you can completely forgotten in fact sometimes it inspires you to go i might fucking bring that routine back yeah yeah try to remember it again and do it again yeah but um you should just bring back from before it doesn't matter what the routine and the callback was yeah yeah just do it after random bits all right I was doing the other night. From before. Yeah, from before. Callbacks that didn't exist. From before.

In Newcastle, I'll drop from before. Yeah. Whether it works or not. You could call a festival show. Yeah, announce yourself. Peter Heller, everybody, from before. That's what it should be. That's your best off.

That's your best off show. Peter Heller from before. Yeah. That's a good best off. You could just call the show that if you use a really, really old promo pic your best off show. From before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good best off. Or if you used a like a – you could just call the show that if you used like a really, really old promo pic of yourself. Right. From before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good best off title. I like it. Yeah, I like it. Yeah. But in my head, the way I picture it written down is I feel like there's got to be a dot, dot, dot from before. Yeah, yes.

It's an ellipsis. It's a bit of a pause. Good point. And maybe you could put in brackets whilst pointing backwards. Yes. Dot, dot, dot. From before. Yeah, yes. It's an ellipsis. It's a bit of a pause. Good point. And maybe you could put in brackets whilst pointing backwards. Yes. Whilst gesturing towards the past. I can see the show poster.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. From before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd never read it as the point being into the past. I kind of pictured it as if it was the first night. Not that this was the case, but I pictured it as like in your head you're imagining there's a stool there with your notebook on it and you're pointing from before. You're pointing to the set list of where it's written down.

Also, I just love the term instead of like it feels a bit depressing when people go, I don't like to focus on the past. I like to focus on the before. Yeah. I like to focus on dot, dot, dot. Yeah. From before. No, I'm stuck in the before.

Yeah. Sorry, guilty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like a lot of 90s music. Yeah. The before. Yeah. The before.

If I had a time machine, I'd go back into the dot, dot, dot, from before and kill Hitler. You know, from before. World War II, from before. Hitler, from before. Yeah, your dad's like a vet. He grew up with this awful childhood because he was just so

rattled by the war and every time he flogs you, he's like, from before. I feel like people are like, no, no, we remember. You don't need the from before. You're in a helicopter flying overhead, you're like shaking. From before. I would have remembered if some of the audience

had yelled out, yeah, we remember, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, we got it. We got it. We got it. We remember. It just wasn't funny. That's all.

Yeah. But now the beauty of it is Is that the The event of From Before Is now it's on From Before It's actually the same thing Yeah It's come full circle Yeah

You could literally get on stage Do a callback Then go From Before And then Wait And then go From Before How many

Yeah what's the What do you Because it is like You know in a show if a callback works it's like people fucking can't believe what they've seen yes if it's done it's a magic trick people go insane yeah but it's but it is such a for people who don't i mean we don't want to get too deep in in the in the uh murdery of comedy yeah exactly um but it's what's the example you would say oh you know oh my dad something blah blah blah at the start of the show and then uh yeah he has a habit of like shitting everywhere or whatever and then 40 minutes later you're like oh where's your shit

from oh and then dad walks in i'm like dad and you go oh from before yeah yeah especially if you can end a show people love that yeah the last bit in a show is a beautifully executed callback. Yeah, yeah. But it is – My show last year, Deconstructed Origami, was basically a whole bunch of callbacks. I did a eulogy because I died on Twitter a year earlier. I was pronounced dead.

So I came out and did a eulogy and they were all callbacks. Well, I mean a eulogy in and of itself is a from before yeah yeah i feel like it's the ultimate from before i feel like we're skipping over the fact that carl had an idea for a bit where his dad's shitting everywhere i feel like we just breezed through that you know your dad's shitting everywhere and this is my poignant end of my show that's because you thought that was odd and the other two went yeah that sounds like your material

yeah yeah I was like wait wait wait I was like anyway breezing on through that bit where my dad shits everywhere I once

I once did a routine I wanted to do a routine about how when button up jeans started coming in I've been doing this for a while and

how difficult they are sometimes to get on them. The zips are easier. And so I thought, how can I really illustrate the point? So I fabricated this whole story about my dad going to the circus and basically pissing his pants at the circus because he couldn't get the buttons undone in time. And I did it a couple of times. It went all right.

And then one day I came up and I thought, what the fuck am I doing? I just made up a story about my dad pissing his pants. And he would come to the show and his friends would come to the show. That's not fair. That's great.

That's not fair. So one night you got up there, did the routine and then finished it and then went dot, dot, dot from never. Yeah. From never. Not from before at all. Dad, what did you think of the show? It's a bit cringe. From never. Yeah. From never. Not from before at all. Dad, what did you think of the show?

It's a bit cringe. From before. From before. From way before. Oh, man. Well, you know what would have made the pissing bit better? What's that? Turn it into a shit.

Yeah. Yeah. Turn it into shit and just up it up. You can't steal other people's material. Okay. I didn't mean to put it on Yeah you're right Alright we'd better wrap it up there

For another week on the Little Dumb Dumb Club Damien and Pete thank you so much for joining us Thank you Damien you've got a Your very cringe special is up on YouTube Great way to plug it Yep and I'm on tour now Going to Perth

Doing Melbourne, doing Adelaide Perth doing Melbourne doing Adelaide Perth, Melbourne, Adelaide what's the name of the show? Not So Funny Now is it? yep that's the name nice that came out with it didn't it?

yeah yeah go check out Damien always a great time great stand up yeah going all over the country Peter Helliott where are you?

I'm studying in Newcastle Peter Hellyer gives Zero Flips is the name of the show and it starts in Newcastle on the 1st and it's the actual show it's ready to go

1st of Feb 1st of Feb yeah so and you ain't seen nothing yet we'll be coming back in a couple of weeks podcast

podcast movie lovers about movies they haven't seen Damien you've been a previous guest. You did Breakfast Club. That was fun. These boys have been on it.

We've all done it, yeah. Yeah, you've all done it. So, they'll be back. Darcy Moore will be our first guest. Captain of Collingwood. He did Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Great movie. What do you think?

He loved it. He loved it. And also... I cried in the cinema. It's a beautiful movie. It's a beautiful movie. Too much. I watched it too close to a breakup.

Oh, really? Yeah, that is a tough one. That's a secret. That's a really tough one. Concetta Cristo, Bron Lewis, Karen Wheatley, Merrick Watts.

It's a good season. Cool. But festival season, you've got Atlanta, Melbourne... All the capital cities, all the tickets on sale, and places like Wyong and places I've never been to before. I've been to Wyong before, actually.

But yeah, it's a bigger tour and it's still growing. Great. Cool. It's a fun show. Get around it. Thanks very much for listening, everyone, and we'll see you next time. See you, mate.

And they've done it again oh boy have they ever what a day it's been Tommy yep talking dum-dum that was fun Damien Power

debut lots of fun topics in there like we said at the top of the show shows on sale Adelaide

700th episode selling quick for Adelaide yep so get onto that guys that will actually sell out so the big 700th episode selling quick for Adelaide yep so get onto that guys that will actually sell out so the big 700th episode

it's going to be quite fun there's a lot of great guests involved four shows in Melbourne in March and April March 30th 6th 13th

20th get onto that always heaps of fun Basement Comedy Club limited capacity and then we're not even bleeding about it this week

but Costa Mui is so close to being sold out that we're not going to talk much about it. Yeah. Yeah. So all heaps of live shows. Get onto it, guys. We'd love to see you there. We love it with a full house. And our live shows, you know, one of the best in the biz, I'd say we are.

Very, very arrogantly and proudly, equal parts. So it's super fun. Get in. Be involved in the live experience. LittleDumbDumbClub.com is where you can get your tickets to all of that stuff. And it's also where you can find a link to the Patreon. You can get on there. You can support the show.

We really appreciate it. It helps us keep the lights on and do the things that we want to do in life. Yep. And you get two bonus mini episodes every week as a thank you, as a little reward to coming up with Damien Power that were a lot of fun. Very fun. There's hundreds on there. You get the whole back catalogue if you sign up now.

Always great guests on them. Some ripper episodes that probably should have been regular free episodes. Yes. You pay for them. That seems fair. Yeah. should have been regular free episodes. Yes.

You pay for them. That seems fair. Yeah. And also you go into the draw to get your name read out and immortalized in an episode of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Anytime someone says your name to you, you can go from before. Yes. And, you know, we've really earned our Patreon money this week, man. You've been sitting in this room and you've been checking your phone.

I've been working out who's to be read out for about half a fucking hour. Yes. Oh, my God. After a day where I was up at 5 o'clock to go and do Fox FM breakfast with you and then we've done all this recording. Yep. I haven't eaten. Oh, sorry.

I'm feeling fucked. Okay. The true tradition of doing Talking Dumb Dumb is talking about that state. All right, let's get into it. It's been a big, fat episode this week. We don't need to bang on too much in this one. Let's go. Thank you to Patreon subscriber, first cap off the rank this week.

A bit of a squeaky wheel to start off with, Matt Arnold. Matt Arnold. Thanks. Thanks for letting us know. Thanks for your continued support over the years. And here you go. I hope it's as good As you imagined it This is it

Matt Arnold From the vault Yeah Thanks Matty A How far back is Hey Arnold going Well mate It's Matt

It's pronounced Matt No hey Hey Arnold I think you're looking At the wrong Hey Arnold Wrong UTA This is Matt Arnold

Hey Matt Arnold No I don't know I didn't look I didn't look it up Okay Hey, Arnold. Wrong UTA. This is Matt Arnold. Hey, Matt Arnold. No, I don't know. I didn't look it up. Okay. I believe this is public knowledge that one of Ed Cavalier's children is called Arnold. Is that? Yeah.

Now, is that after Schwartzinga? Yeah. Given Ed and given Tiff, that would not surprise me. Yeah, yeah. Which is pretty awesome. He's a gym guy. me. Yeah, yeah. Which is pretty awesome. He's a gym guy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah.

I think, well, I mean, it must be because you don't look at a baby and go, it looks like an Arnold. Yeah, and there's no other, I mean, it could be a, you know, it could be a family name in some way. You know, maybe one of them had a beloved grandpa or something called Arnold. Maybe just, you just looked at a little baby and went, that looks like a little shriveled steroid-ridden dick that kid has. Could be.

Looks like someone, like a real steroid abuser. Arnold Schwarzenegger. There we go. Yeah. Yeah, that could be it. But that is very funny for two absolute rig pigs to go, like, have a kid and be like, we have to. We love the gym so much that we have to name it

after the most famous ripped man of all time. We tried to call our kid Dumbbell, but the government wouldn't let us. So we call it Arnold instead. But then it's always, that's always the interesting thing with a kid and then having a second one where it's like, okay, this is in honor of this thing that we love. And then they've got a second child. So what's that kid being called?

I reckon if we had a second kid, that would be the deal. Like my wife was like, right, this is the name of the kid no matter what yeah here's a few suggestions absolutely fucking not this is the name right i reckon if we went number two it would be like okay well i guess you're allowed to give suggestions because i had i put all my eggs in that one basket right so that'd be your would you go as far as to say that's a condition? Right. She was like, let's try it for a second. You were like, I'm happy. I'm happy to do this, but here's my one term.

I am doing the name. Oh, that would be fun. Solo. That would be funny. Yeah. That would be funny. Yeah. It's like you got you got one one one

you know you got one turn i get one turn yeah yeah it's like it's like i've got i've got a condom around my dick going is it my do i get to choose or not am i leaving this on am i taking it off what are we doing here real russian roulette roulette here yep um yeah that would be that would uh that would be a very interesting conversation. It's an interesting bargaining chip. With a raging hard-on. How badly do you want a second kid? How badly do you want this absolute barebacking?

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I told my kid the other day. I said to my kid, I went to Little Blanket. You know what? I said, Mommy wanted you to be called Blanket. know i said you mommy wanted you to be called blanket do you know i wanted you to be called i she goes well i go oh i my suggestion was what about billy and she went yuck yeah like okay all right well maybe mom got it right you wanted your daughter

to be called billy it was a suggested name i didn't go too deep into it i was like i like it okay it's all right b-i-l-l-i-e right and so that's the compromise was blanket because i assume you wanted billy jean after yeah after billy oh okay yeah yeah yeah yeah that was it yeah yes yes well the next best thing yeah yeah yeah that's not bad yeah um but matt arnold um yeah he's his surname was named after arnold schwarzenegger yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe maybe arnold schwarzenegger was named obviously you can't give someone a last name you have to give someone a first name so arnold schwarzenegger was named after maybe matt arnold's predecessors his ancestors maybe maybe that was it um they they looked at medieval weightlifters the sch Schwarzeneggers looked at their family

the Arnold family went you know what one day they could be doing something as great as giving money to a podcast and we have to

name our child after this yep we got a lot to live up to and some say Arnold Schwarzenegger overshadowed

the feats that the Arnold family are responsible for sponsoring a podcast. Yeah. But not me. I still think, when I hear the word Arnold, I still think of Matt Arnold. Me too.

Subscriber of this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think of Arnold Schwarzenegger as the second Arnold. Well, Matt Arnold's done more for us than Schwarzenegger ever has. Yeah. You know what? I wouldn't mind betting that Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't even know we exist. Call me crazy.

I can't think of anything he's done for us lately. That's for sure. Yeah. I can't. Yeah, look, I wouldn't like to go back in the records. I don't have the best memory going back. Yeah, exactly. Without Googling it, without getting back into the reads.

I'd assume he hasn't. I don't remember him being on the show. No. I don't remember him. Yeah. I guess we went to California a couple of times. We went to Germany, Austria those times as well. We went to California the times when he was the governor.

And we did those live podcasts at the Mr. World competitions as well. That's true. We'll get back to you. I don't want to make any big statements without checking the records. We're in collateral damage. Right, yeah. And we did a podcast with 99% of the cast. But yeah, I don't think he was in there.

I think, yeah, that was the 1% that got through. Yeah. Yeah, that's a shame. Hey. What's your dog doing? I don't know. Looks like he's trying to kill himself. He's like hanging off the edge of your couch.

Hey, what are you doing? Oh, he's drinking out of the water you supplied for Pete Hellyer. Oh, well, that's fine. Yeah. I can sign off on that. Well, the water you supplied for Pete Hellyer. Oh, well, that's fine. Yeah. I can sign off on that. Well, that's the water that Pete Hellyer suggested. And by rejected, I mean you hid it in a bookcase and he couldn't possibly see that's what it was for.

Well, and also the dog can drink out of it because if it was the other way around, if it was about to come here, I'd be like, oh, God, now I've got to go get a new glass. But that's fine. That's fine. Well, thanks, Matt'd be like, oh, God, now I've got to go get a new glass. But that's fine. That's fine. Well, thanks, Matt Arnold. Good on you, Matt Arnold.

Thank you very much, too. Jesus Christ. Thanks, too, but also, look, I'm not encouraging this behavior. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Ziltoidian Warlord. Oh, God. Have you ever done teeth whitening? No, I'd like to. Let's not.

I mean, there's plenty to play with here. I'm happy to talk about whatever you're going to say, but let's get stuck into this at some stage. Zyltoidian Warlord. Jesus Christ. Well, it's a fake. It's just a, you know. Is it fake?

I'd assume so. You don't think it's from the Warlord family? No. Okay. I thought it might have been. That would be great if this was like a descendant of Genghis Khan, but the name Khan got cancelled centuries ago. They just translated it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, when they came over here, they took one look at them and went, nah, you're warlords. Yeah, and then it's like, not only did you take my name away, you took our status away. We're no longer conquering countries and killing thousands of people.

We're listening to podcasts. Ziltoidian warlord. Ziltoidian. I mean, I've got a fair mind to just refund this money. There is an option to do that, like on Patreon. Oh, you can knock it back? I can knock it back. Wow.

Yeah, I can go, no, this name's too bad to be associated with us. That's good. Get out of here. i like that what position would you have to be as a content creator to get money coming through patreon and go no thanks yeah it's man i'm looking it up i'm like is this some sort of this is some sort of dungeons and dragons bullshit but i've just looked it up it's not it's from i don't know if this is worse or better It's from Do you know the musician Called Devin Townsend I think it's very prog rock

I know the name But I don't think I've ever listened Some reference to that Oh okay So The worst of both worlds I think Yeah Yeah

Well anyway teeth whitening Yes I haven't done You got off like Eazel Toyz By the way Jesus I haven't done it for a bit And I did it this morning

After the radio And it fucking sucks. Oh no. It fucking hurts. Your teeth hurting is such a fucked feeling. Is it having an effect? It does when I use it regularly.

I haven't used it. I haven't done it. Like I ran out of the stuff and I just hadn't gone and gotten the new gel. Gel or as it's referred to on the packet, poison, which feels really good. Big sticker on it saying poison, and then you're like,

anyway, time to put this in my mouth. But the pain in my teeth has gotten progressively worse as we've been sitting here. It's really bad. Might need to break out the Sensodyne after this. Oh. Yep. Yeah.

I haven't done it, but I will. I'm going to have a crack at doing it after I finish this little bout of teeth straightening fucking bullshit that I do at the moment. Yeah. It's coming to an end. Yeah, nice. Hopefully. But I've heard it all before.

Yeah. But there's no use having a crack at it while I've still got little bits and bobs oh yeah i think kind of yeah you have a tan line from them yeah maybe i don't know i don't know how it fucking works but anyway um i'm now getting to that point where i've heard other people do it the teeth straightening fucking little plastic bits in your mouth where um you have a like a little app where you scan yourself every week and it comes back and you go oh yeah look um yeah go on to your next set or it says oh you haven't done it it's not quite fixed yet so yeah let's do four more days and it gives you those things and i'm now at the point i was very fastidious at the time and yeah now i'm like it's because yeah sorry it's not quite

this is where the mistakes have been made this is where and i'm like cool i'm moving on to the next one maybe the next one after that so at this point they're like yeah you've got about 25 weeks to go i was like on my count i've got nine weeks to go actually yeah because i'm just fucking booming ahead yeah yeah so um yeah i'm uh i'm uh i wonder if they'll be able to tell i'm like a teeth straightening anti-vaxxer naughty boy i'm like no i've done my own research. These teeth are fucking straight enough, actually. I'm the one looking at them in the mirror every night. Yeah. Well, I mean, it is one of those things where it's like, you know, when I was a kid, the

dentist would go, this is what you have to do. And you go, oh, fuck, I have to do this. Or I go to jail. It's like, no, it's your teeth. Do what the fuck you want. But it's just common sense. You probably should do it. Yeah.

Bad teeth are yucky. Yeah. That's what they're saying. Keep doing this. I'm like, no, I've done three years of this i reckon i'll fucking i'm skipping forward i think i know i think i know a little bit something about teeth yeah and um we're moving ahead they're straight enough for me yeah that's all that matters they're okay i'm not i'm missing any chunks of food because the fucking teeth are too far apart or anything like that um they're okay i could literally read

them up now and go i'm not doing this anymore i don't care what you say yeah be like yeah it's like that's one one time i actually i had a personal trainer there for a couple of months or something and because only not because i was like oh i've got to get to a condition it was like i don't know how any of this gym equipment works yeah so if i have a pt if i have a trainer they can at least show me around the gym and like actually what to do and then yeah that's why i started at 45 i was like if i go in there by myself yeah i just don't know what i'm doing yes um and so one time i saw him out of training and um i said oh hey man you know i haven't seen you for a couple weeks but so i've been doing this and doing this and i've been

i look and i've slipped up a little bit liz but i have been doing this but i haven't been doing this and he was like, yep, yep. And he leans in and goes, I've got to be honest, I don't fucking care. I don't care. Yeah. I get paid to be with you for an hour and tell you what I think would be good. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, oh, okay.

Honestly, the less you do on your own time, that's better for me because you're going to keep being a fat fuck and I'm going to keep getting paid. Yeah, yeah. I was like, yeah, that's, I mean, yeah, it felt a little bit offensive, but also when it's like, yeah, of course, that's exactly how this works. Well, thanks, Mr. Warlord. Thanks, Ziltoidian Warlord, you dork. Mm-hmm.

Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Marius Doring. Hmm. M-A-R-I-U-SS D-O-R-I-N-G. Interesting. Marius Doring. Marius. The Marius Brothers. Yeah. Yeah, he's one of them.

Super Marius Doring. Yeah. Is that what your nickname for him would be? Super Marius Doring? I guess so. Yeah. That's something. Yeah.

Yeah. him would be super mario's dooring i guess so yeah something yeah um yeah see did you see our friend nick capper he put up like a a reel the other day he's got oh and he's wearing a super mario t-shirt yeah but he's bitters about he saw some someone wearing a cult play t-shirt what a fucking idiot but the whole time he's wearing a super mario t-shirt like this is not on purpose you were just a fucking idiot yeah i saw him wearing that t-shirt? Like, this is not on purpose. You are just a fucking idiot. Yeah, I saw him wearing that t-shirt and I was like, what is the story here? Like,

why? Yes. There's a lot of... Was this for a bit or... No, I don't think so. I sent him a message and was like,

this is insane. Why are you ragging on someone's t-shirt when you are wearing a dumb t-shirt and you make no reference to it? So, don't you think this is on... Oh, you know so don't you think this is on oh you know don't you think this is on purpose i'm like mate where does the line end like yeah do so many dumb things how much of it is on purpose yeah

yeah yeah this it can't all i think none of it's on purpose i'll be honest yeah yeah it's very hard to tell when you're deliberately doing something stupid when you're normally doing stupid yeah so many things yeah um but super mario marius doering super marius doering brothers yes yeah that's the full name yeah super marius doering brothers yeah right okay yeah it has to be surname brothers. Yes. Yeah. Right. That would be good as a surname actually. Brothers. Yes. Yeah. I imagine there's, yeah, a brothers out there. Yeah.

Surname. Yeah. Why not? They were, yeah, they changed their surname after they had a second kid. Right. Yeah. Now that there's two of them. Yeah.

So, yeah, what Louise what we've been a family of only children for generations and now that we've had two kids so mario brothers and luigi brothers the family the brothers family yeah i've never wanted something to end more in my life me too but i'm really trying to be professional i know It's so hard. Between the tiredness really hitting me and the teeth being in agony, I'm fucking really hard finding it hard to put a single

coherent thought together. Yes. Yes. I'm sorry for people that have to hear us complaining but this is the world we're living in. We've been in the same room

for three and a half hours. We've been up for a long time. Yeah. But I'm pushing through. I'm giving you the content you guys deserve. Yeah. Let's just keep it pushing through. I'm giving you the content you guys deserve. Yeah. Let's just keep it brief though.

Super Marius Brothers, Super Marius Doring Brothers, I think that's good enough. Yeah. I think that's good enough. I think that's a good riff. I think that's a good name. I think that Marius

can take that out into the normal world and use that somehow. You got some details of some behind the scenes text message exchanges with Nick Capa. Yep.

That's juicy. That's interesting. If you bid on that in a little Patreon auction, I think you'd be happy with that little package. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that ticks all the boxes. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Marius.

Thanks, Mario. Thanks, Supia. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Ryan Ponsford. Ponsford? Yes. Yeah. Ryan Ponsford. Ponsford?

Yes. Yeah. The dog has started looking at me as if to go like, why are you still sitting there talking? Yeah. I want my fucking walk. Yeah. The dog's usually annoying, coming in annoying us,

and even he's fucking falling asleep. Yeah. He's had enough. It's like, no, this is... Even the cleaners have gone home. Yes. Ryan Ponsford, they've named a stand after him at the MCG. Oh, yeah. Thank him for his contributions to comedy and to Patreon and to whatever it is we do.

Yeah. Yeah. What do you think of the name Ryan? It's okay. It's fine. I think, I've got to say, I think it's a better surname than a first name. I agree. Yeah. Yeah. It's fine. I think I've got to say, I think it's a better surname than a first name. I agree. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the official. But having said that, Ryan Ponsford is a lot better than Ponsford Ryan. That sounds insane. Yeah, that's true. I feel like the first name has been a little bit legitimized by Ryan Gosling. Oh, yeah. Famous heartthrob.

Before him, what Ryans did we have? From before him. From before him. What Ryans did we have? Yeah. You know? him yeah what ryan's from before him from before him what ryan's did we have yeah you know i saw i i met i believe a ponsonby in the wild the other day okay you know they're known ponsonby not really all right when i was a kid i think i used to read a lot of british comic books yep uh like funny

comedy no yeah that not that not be no but things of that ilk. Yeah, okay. Right. And I remember, like, you know how part of your childhood would be formed by, like, what TV shows you watched or whatever? You know, books you read, whatever. I read a lot of, like, probably a few years, I read British funny comic books. And so you sort of think, oh, this is Conkers. Conkers were a big thing. Yep.

Like, you know, what are those? Nuts from the tree or whatever thing yep like you know what are those are nuts from the tree or whatever that you yeah that's a you know how that's a thing and you're like not really yep and you know the thing where you get stuck in your head from american or european culture of like christmas is snowing and all that sort of stuff but for whatever reason ponsonby came up a lot where it's like yeah that's the name of like a rich person oh okay yeah yeah right so it's like it really unlocked it the other day. I met a Ponsonby. I'm like, oh, my God.

This is like someone from a top hat from when I was seven years old. Yeah. Finally met a Ponsonby. And were you having this discussion with them? No, no, no. This was all internal. This was something coming to comedy and me ticking off the name and going, are you a Ponsonby? And they're like, yeah.

You were like, play it cool, play it cool, play it cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Finally. Okay. Anyway, yeah, you're in next. You were like, play it cool, play it cool, play it cool. Yeah, yeah. Finally. Okay. Anyway, yeah, you're in next. Surname, The Menace. Oh, my God. Yeah.

And Cecil came in after that. Yeah. Yeah. All the great names. But thanks, Ryan Ponsford. Ponson. Ponsford. Ponsford.

Ponsford. Ryan Ponsford. Right. Yes. Thanks, Ryza. And now for the fifth one. Okay. Thank you very much to Patience Subscriber.

Goodbye, comedy.