The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 696 - Josh Thomas & Dave Thornton

Episode Date: February 7, 2024

This week we're joined by DAVE THORNTON and JOSH THOMAS! We're being closely monitored by a publicist AND Blanket, as Josh is on the press junket for his new stand-up tour and already considering a career change. Meanwhile, Tommy's had multiple rough experiences at the doctor, plus we get a run down of Josh's recent hopeless mishaps including losing both his shoes AND a motor vehicle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Josh Thomas and Dave Thornton. We have some live shows coming up that we would love to see you at. Adelaide, 24th of February, coming very soon, the 700th episode. Awesome, selling quickly. Wow, where are we, Tommy? Who'd have thunk it? Then we have Melbourne. We've got a month of Saturdays. Run us through them, Carl. March 30, April 6, April 13, April 20. Yeah, beautiful stuff.

And then, of course, the Costa Mui International Podcast Festival, June 9 until 14. All of the tickets and details for all that stuff is at littledumbdumbclub.com. We will talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dumb Dumb. But until then, enjoy this brand new episode with guests Josh Thomas and Dave Thornton. We don't have to talk about it, I'm sorry.

It's fine. We do now. We do now. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Oh, is it?

And with me as always, the other half of the program, allegedly Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. And joining us today, two very special guests. Please welcome back onto the podcast, Dave Thornton and Josh Thomas. Yay! Let's get into the meat of it. Josh Thomas' world has just been rocked. He found out that Rove McManus, that's not his real name.

I didn't know that was his name. It's John. And now we found out that you've just found out that Tommy Daslow is not his real name either. And I just don't know if we should...

It's Rove Daslow. Yeah. Rove Daslow. Yeah. And Helen Chandler. No. Tommy Allsop is his name.

Thomas Allsop. Yeah, Josh said what is your real name and I said Allsop and you went Tommy Allsop. Yeah. As if you thought maybe there was a chance And I said, Allsop. And you went Tommy Allsop. Yeah. As if you thought maybe there was a chance that my name was Allsop Dassler. I was trying to say, I was trying to imagine Tommy Allsop.

I was trying to imagine why you would want to change it. Yeah, I mean, look, it's, I wonder how things would have gone if I had stuck with Allsop. Tommy Allsop. I don't like it. Maybe there's an alternate universe where I stick with Olsop and I beat you in raw comedy back in 2005. That's where it went wrong. Daslo. I mean, I hated that

kid, but Olsop. How can you go past that? The material's terrible, but the name. It was just some racist judge that went, Daslo, yuck, he's not winning. If it had been Olsop, it would have been as white as that. That's what got Josh Thomas over the edge. Dassolo a real name no

there's no one in the world that's called Dassolo you can google it and it does not exist anywhere except for that made up little person oh that's cool because I'm getting

a lot of Josh Thomas's there's like an AFL player there's Josh Thomas there's like some people in America and yeah sometimes they think I don't know

should we have got do you wish you had a stage name Dave you're alright I mean I'm a bit similar. There's always, mates will send me, there's an actor, constantly people send me credits. Uncle Dave Thornton's in Beverly Hills Cop 3. Really?

Yeah, there's a character. That's a character. Uncle Dave Thornton. In Beverly Hills Cop 3. Wow. And I don't know, though. I don't know, maybe, maybe if you had a stage name, you could have some kind of separation. Sometimes people come up, I think it's weird,

you know my name. Maybe I should have gone with something. Josh Lightning. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, I like that. That's good stuff. I like that. I've always thought,

I thought that about myself. If I had just started with a pirate patch on, I think I could have been anything. I think that would have been the thing to have made me. Please like me. A beautiful show about mental health and coming out, hosted by and starring and written by Josh Lightning.

That's the full name. Wait, he's not doing any magic tricks. Josh Lightning sounds like he should be doing some magic tricks. Josh Lightning doesn't need to ask anyone, please like me. Everyone likes Josh Lightning. It's Josh Lightning. Yeah. That's a magnet for likes.

I think my dream at the moment Is to do Sorry you just brought up magic Is to do a tour Or a magic show Do you think I could? Josh Lightning could Do you know any magic?

Josh Lightning I don't know any yet But it's not that hard Is it oh I put that in my pocket But you didn't see it Yeah I can do that

If they can do it I can do it But is there open mic magic? Can you just like Hit the rooms and Do you want to do the double Complete the double the two dodgiest art forms comedy and magic yeah i want to do comedy magic too so bad because the thing is that i realized so much in pen and teller when sometimes they show you behind the scenes yeah the one that talks doesn't actually do much magic

yeah he the little guy is doing all the stunts and stuff oh i think the little guy does solo stuff too like he has like an act that's just him. So what does Josh Lightney want to do? Do you want to be the big guy or the little guy? I've got to be the big guy. Because the magician's assistant is the one that's doing all the stuff. The magician's assistant is the one that's in the box. That's actually wriggling around and running to the thing.

They're the one doing the actual trick. The guy walking around the front holding a cane, putting some fabric and going, Whoosh, I'm here in my jacket. He's not doing nothing. And you want to be that guy. Pardon? You want to get into magic to not do magic. Is that what you're saying?

Well, I want to do a little bit of magic, but I just think it'd be fun to do a magic tour. I don't know. So the act is you, you're on stage, you're like, oh, I was down in the shops the other day. And then behind you, there's a guy pulling doves out of a hat. And then like I appear and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you could kind of do that now. Like you just do your normal act and just have someone behind you doing

magic i looked into it for this tour that i'm about to do i did i stayed i stayed up one night thinking i could just buy one of those disappearing boxes you'd come to my show and then we'd go like welcome to the stage josh thomas and then the lights would go and then i'd just appear out of nowhere i thought that's a good show yeah they're so expensive oh you They're so expensive. Oh. You could be like, you know, the people say the solo show, you do the callback at the end and it's like a magic trick. It's a big reveal.

It really impresses the audience. That's beneath me now. I'm ending the show on a literal magic trick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what I want to do. And someone comes out of the box and it's like a callback

to something at the start of the show. You know, they've got like my dad written on the shirt. Yeah. Him all along. I love you, Dad. Thanks for coming, everyone. Tell your friends.

If you didn't like it, shut up. No, I like this for you. I like this progression. I just seem so stupid to go this long and never have done one magic trick. Yeah. You're also... How can I live with myself? I feel stupid.

You're also here on the, basically on the press junket for your current stand-up show that you're touring and your big salvo in this interview is, God, I wish I was doing magic instead of this. Yeah, it's a bit disappointing I'm doing this same old shit again. Me getting up there,

hello, I've got a funny, slightly sad story to tell. Yep. Would it be a big David Blaine thing though? Do you want just your know your Your classic magic tricks Like you said A card trick Or you saw someone in half

Or you doing a real like You know I can be in this box And hold my breath For 45 minutes Kind of Which admittedly For an hour show Would be quite boring

But Yeah It'd be too long It'd be too long I mean we'd love to see me Get dunked in a tank And a little With some chains on

And real out of the chains Who do you do that for? Oh, I did it. I got a bunch of my chain bit. That'd be good. You do the David Blaine thing. You do your tour in Melbourne. You do it like him.

You make a landmark disappear. You've got to make, like you're doing Melbourne, you make the Westgate Bridge disappear. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's an act of terrorism, but yeah, sure. I had to make Molly Meldrum's house disappear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I found out about that?

Do you remember? It was a big thing. It was even on Australian TV when David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was always like, how did he do it? And then when they found out later, they just put the audience in a different direction.

Yeah, they just rotated the audience. They rotated the audience and then blacked out because it was night time. And they just blacked out the statue and everyone was like, this is amazing. It's like, now that you've told me, it's not so great. But don't you think, when you're telling that story, don't you think, I could do that? I could do that. I could make people turn around.

I could switch off a light. They built a podium. He didn't do no nothing. He just went there and said, let's do some magic. They built a podium for the audience that spun. So the cameras held static, I think. That's why it seems so amazing. I could do that.

But if they spun around the audience. It's $320, I suppose. But if they spun around the audience, wouldn't they notice when they go, oh, hey, the Statue of Liberty has disappeared, but there's Manhattan. Yeah. If they turn them around, surely you're facing the rest of the city. That's what I could do. The audience that they're filming is not a real audience.

That's a lie, that part. So it was for TV. They're lying. The audience were actors. They must have all had it. Oh, were they? Yeah, the audience are actors. So they're not trying to trick the audience.

So they're trying to get this trick camera shot that they put on live TV. So I was going to say, you'd have to imagine the entire audience having a nightmare of a time finding their cars afterwards. Oh yeah, I remember it was

this way. We walked in and they were like where the fuck am I? Where's my car? I parked next to the Statue of Liberty. Where the hell is it?

When's he putting it back? Monji, that's the plan. They all walk out drowned because they're heading in the wrong direction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. My secret is safe. Yeah, yeah's the plan. They all walk out drowned because they're heading in the wrong direction. Yeah, yeah.

That's great. My secret is safe. Yeah, yeah. No witnesses. Here we go. Easy done. No witnesses to the trick. I mean, you could get good at it and then you could be the masked magician.

That would be my dream. That guy that would go on TV and be like, this is how they do it. Little narc. Yeah. I love that show. Yeah. That's the show that made me want to be a magician. Yeah.

I just want to lie to people and get away with it. Thrilling. Be thrilling to get up there. It's sort of bullshit. Everyone's thinking, how did he do it? Pulling off a trick. Yeah. The thrill of people thinking you've sawed someone in half.

Yeah. That's what, you know, sometimes you see how they've done it and you're like, that's actually almost more interesting and impressive than the trick. It's way better. That's almost better. You know, but then sometimes it's just like, yeah, we just turn the audience around and you're like, yeah, that's boring. Have you ever seen Christopher Nolan's Prestige? Yeah.

I am going to ruin it for everyone listening right now because it was one of those ones where you're like... You've had your time. Hey? You've had your time. Yeah, to watch it. The whole thing is it's the same guy. There's two dudes, they're twins and they basically play these two roles.

Yeah. I can, a quarter of the way through I picked it and then you've just got to sit through going when are they all just going to figure this out

that it's... Well, we're not all as smart as you, mate. I didn't pick it, so... Did you? No, no, no. For reals? Yeah.

I don't think so, no. I was watching it and I was just going this is killing me. Like you can tell. No, I don't think so. Dave O'Neill was telling us on this podcast that he, when he was a kid, he's got an identical twin brother.

And they would do the prestige. They would do like a magic act that revolved around like one of them, you know, running around and pretending that he... But the thing is... Wait, he's already asked me what school I went to. It doesn't make any sense. But that's the dumb thing. He did it like at primary school or high school or whatever. But all the other students are like, yeah, you're fucking twins.

We know. I sit next to you. Yeah, so Josh, you're in the middle of the junket for this new show. We've got the publicist here. First time we have a publicist here in the room. We did a pod recently with Larry Emder where we had to be overseen by the publicist. That's it. So you're the Larry Emder of comedy.

Why did Larry Emder have a publicist? Because he was with a network. He was doing network publicity. It was press for his book. Oh, and they... I did say to Tasha, I said, I really don't think you need to come to the little dum-dum club on Tuesday. I sent an email. I said, it's pretty low stakes, I really don't think you need to come to the little dum-dum club on Tuesday. I sent an email and he said,

it's pretty low stakes, isn't it? Thank you. But she couldn't stay away. She's right to be overseen. It's more of a safety issue than a PR issue. I don't want to leave you in a room alone with those jobs. She's just worried that I'm not going to go to the next interview. That's really what she's here for.

Well, I was going to say, because the blurb for your new show that you're doing, it's like, you've done all've done all this stuff, but now you're worried about, you know, doing, you know, getting the easy things right. That's what your show's about. I'm like, well, step one, don't have a publicist to go on a fucking podcast. You don't need a babysitter to be on here and talk to your mates for an hour. Well, no, that's why she's here. They don't trust me.

They don't believe that I'm going to make it. I tried to link this up with you one-on-one last year when you're in the country and you just faded me at a certain point so this time i had i always say i always try and tell people i'm like don't message me i'm not gonna be able to do it but people do and it never works out what is what is the what is the most hopeless thing you've ever done what's the most what's the biggest mistake that you've done because you don't have a babysitter here in my my biggest admin mistake just happened to me but it's actually i actually feel like it's a secret i feel so i'm

gonna tell you but i'm like so ashamed of it awesome it's so but it's like okay so i bought this drink over and i bought this camping trailer right it's nice it's not cheap yeah and i forgot to get it registered right and that was what two years ago and it's been parked out the front of my house it's been fine there i use it I take it unregistered and I like whatever who cares and they towed it away not because it was unregistered

because it was illegally parked so it hasn't been registered for two years and it's been sitting out the front of your house yeah yeah but they didn't tow it away because it was unregistered

they towed it away because they started doing building it's illegal to park there but like it's fine right it's illegal and nobody cares but it is purpose built

to be towed away it is yeah well they sent a heavy duty guy so then I spent and then I. But it is purpose-built to be towed away. It is, yeah. Well, they sent a heavy-duty guy. So then I spent like a day calling around trying to figure out where it was. You were asking for it. I found out where it was. They needed this piece of paper.

And they were like, you can go to the DMV. And I've been to the DMV in America. You know there's like all these sketches all the time of the DMV, like the sloth in like that movie about the DMV. The line doesn't move. Yeah, the line doesn't move. Americans are always making jokes about how the dmv is really hard it's beyond takes a long time once i was in the queue there for six hours i got to the front and i didn't have a piece of paper that they didn't tell me that i needed and i burst i burst into tears at the dmv in america it's honestly

i was in queue for six hours i got there at 8 a.m an hour before it opened i've been here longer than my caravan was in that spot yeah hang on you said you waited for six hours and you were there an hour before they opened at least one of those hours is on you no no i got there an hour before they opened to be at the front of the queue so i could get into the dmb that day you have to turn to the queue no i was like i was i got there an hour before they opened i was a block down in the queue it took six hours to get in you can't turn up at 11 a.m and expect to get into the dmb that day because the queue is too big don't they have like you know even mcdonald's have that thing where you can order your cheeseburger first

and get the bit of paper and stuff. And everything, everything is paper. Everything is like in person. You have to like, no, they don't, they don't, they invented Silicon Valley

but they, they don't. That's your point of reference. Carl get into the end of the line of DMV. This should be more like Macca's. Have you guys ever thought about that?

Guys, I want my license plate and yes, jalapenos would be good. I know you're laughing but it's a good idea no it absolutely is anyway they told it away and then i went to try and get it and then they said i had to go to the dmv to do this thing and i had to take this piece of the title from the trailer and i couldn't find the title and i realized that i was just never going to get it back and then i stopped so it's just the trailer's just gone it's in a compound they literally they like just legally

took it from me I think it's probably been auctioned by now oh no that's my worst that's my worst wow it's just gone

well and everybody was like you can't you know you have to keep and I'm like look no I'm not gonna go to the DMV I don't have the piece of paper I need the title deed I don't have the title deed

I can't find it I've looked for it it was only a few weeks ago I'm about to go on tour and I just like I'm not I'm just not gonna get it and so you. I'm about to go on tour. And I just like, I'm not, I'm just not going to get it. And so it's gone.

You bet you're going to tour, so now you're going to have to walk. Yeah. No, I lost a full vehicle. Fuck. A full vehicle just gone. I lost a vehicle.

Yeah. At any point, are they like chasing you? Are they going like, brother, you've got to come in here. We are putting this thing into the car. I went in there.

I had all my paperwork, but I had one bit wrong. But they, of course they want, they don't want me to get it. They're like against me, these people, because they got to come in here. We are putting this thing into the car. I went in there. I had all my paperwork, but I had one bit wrong. But of course, they don't want me to get it. They're like against me, these people, because they get to keep it. And yeah, I lost. No, I misplaced an entire vehicle. Sorry for bringing up, you know, asking why you had a publicist. You need three.

You should have brought a couple more to that. No, you need a minder. I need a minder, yeah. Once when I was 19, I had to cancel a TV appearance because I forgot to wear shoes to the airport. I know they're packed and all wore shoes. No. Another time around that same period.

Yeah, another time around that same period, I had this meeting with Nova, the boss of Nova. Can we please talk about this a little bit more instead of glossing over? One of the craziest things I've ever heard in my life. Yeah. Can we just... Josh, you haven't been on the show for a while. We'd be more than happy to just fill the next 45 minutes

talking about this shoe story. We could do a whole hour on this story here. So you rocked up to the airport with no shoes on. Uh-huh, yeah. You got out of a taxi? My friend Tom dropped me off in my car and I just thought I had shoes

because I always have shoes in the car. Right. And I didn't. Okay, so good. The plan wasn't I'm definitely going to get on a plane with no shoes. It was an accident. No, no. I just thought I probably did have shoes around. Right. And I didn't. Okay, so good. The plan wasn't, I'm definitely going to get on a plane with no shoes. It was an accident. No, no.

I just thought I probably did have shoes around. Right. And then they got out and I didn't. Oh, the glove box is only for gloves. Yeah. Well, five fingers, five toes. I can wear gloves on my feet. Surely.

Yeah. And then I called Erin and she's like, no, just go on the plane. And I was like, no, they're not going to let me. It's the airport. You can't go on the plane with no shoes. I couldn't get shoes. And then like, well, surely you packed shoes. And I'm like, I don't know what to tell you.

I didn't pack shoes. Well, they ask you to take your shoes off. What if I don't have any shoes on to start with? I'm the perfect passenger. We'll just swede right through. That's so true. You're the furthest from being a terrorist. Yeah.

I'm flying to Melbourne. There's a DFO right near the airport. I promise I'll get shoes as soon as I land. Just give me a break. Did you try and get on the plane with no shoes or did you just quit before you even... I just knew I wasn't going to be allowed. There's no way to buy shoes.

I mean, last week, two weeks ago, I missed a flight from Rio and then I had to... Whatever. And then I'm always going to the airport and finding out my flight's a different month. That's a big thing. Yeah, I've done that one. Is that the American because the month is before the day thing?

No. I think you're giving him way too much credit for a flight you rocked up with no shoes. No, no, no. They're just like, no, it's not January. And I'm like, oh, okay. When I was 20, I had... By the way, I've done that one maybe three times. It turns out I'm like, you know, you do the like self-check-in thing at the little kiosk

and it's like you're putting your name in and everything. It's like, oh, this fucking system, it can never find me. And then I'm like looking the thing up. I'm like, yeah, this flight's in two months' time. I've just booked the complete wrong day. A lot of times. What TV show did you miss out on for having no shoes? I can't remember.

And actually, you know, I- Must be nice. The Amazing Race. Must be nice. Tommy, imagine forgetting what TV show you didn't turn up to. Yeah. You know what I actually... I've got the tattoo of both TV shows I've ever been on

on the inside of my eyelids. Yeah, that number 10 that's on your chest, that's from the time we were on the project, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yes. I feel like it was probably Good News Week. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. But I also, the truth is when I said it, I thought, oh, is this one of these stories that I've told so many times that I put a lie in and I didn't have to miss the TV show? Oh, right, right, right. That's the truth. I actually can't remember. So, yeah, sorry.

Sorry, go on with all the things that you fucked up in your life. So then another time, I had this big meeting with the head of Nova, and this was like early when I thought, maybe I thought I wanted to be on radio. I don't want to anymore. But they're so rich, those people. I mean, millions. People know that people,

do the people listening to this know that the people they listen to on the way to work are getting paid millions of dollars to do this fucking show? Yeah, but we're also listening to a story from someone who just lets go of a caravan and doesn't give a fuck about it. And then he went from Rio to somewhere else. I don't want you to think,

in Hamish and Andy's defense they did it in the Caribbean and he didn't care they called me at 9am and they said remember Josh you have this lunchtime meeting with this guy from Nova

the boss of Nova and I was like yeah yeah yeah I remember I remember I remember and then and then I

and then I'm sitting there at the Taronga Park Zoo and I'm watching the bird show have you ever seen the bird show at the Taronga Park Zoo and I'm watching the bird show. Have you ever seen the bird show at the Taronga Park Zoo? It's one of the best things you could ever see. And the phone rings and I don't answer it, of course. I'm in the bird show. Yeah, the bird show.

I finish watching the bird show and then at like 12.15 I listen to the thing and they're like, why aren't you at the meeting? And then I was like, oh, I forgot to go to the meeting. You got reminded three hours before. I got reminded three hours before. And you still missed it. And somewhere in the middle, I went to the zoo to watch the Taronga Batsy departure. Which ironically is a great yarn to tell on the radio. So they must have been really conflicted about, did we get this guy in or not?

I'm just imagining, man, forget this live show and whatever. We need to make a cartoon of Forgetful Josh, where you are on your way to make a million dollars at the radio station. You walk past a zoo, hear live show and whatever. We need to make a cartoon of Forgetful Josh where you are on your way to make a million dollars at the radio station. You walk past a zoo, hear a bird and go, Aha, I'm going there. That would be a great cartoon. But even the way you said it then, walk past a zoo, like Taronga Park Zoo is not something you have to get on a ferry, right?

There are so many steps. Zoos are never near anything else. You need to get snow to get from that 90... But in your defence, you can get on a ferry without shoes. Like, that's the first transport I could have done. That's true. Yeah, that's true. Look at those birds and go, if only I could fly.

If only. Footlockers, someone will get me up here, but otherwise it's not happening. Can I ask this caravan that got impounded? It's not a caravan, it's a camper. You can't go inside it oh wait what what it's it's it's like it's it's a very intense feeling very serious off-roading uh it has a kitchen and it has like a rooftop tent on top but you can't like stand inside it

oh okay but you can sleep in it it has a kitchen inside of you can't it has a kitchen that opens to outside it's like it's like a trailer like you would imagine a trailer that you would use to like go to the dump but instead of um tr in it there's a kitchen a little hot water system and like an outdoor shower and then like storage and then on top there's a rooftop tent but like the rooftop tent you could put on anything oh it's like a pop-up i see yeah it's like a separate piece to the trailer yeah that you like fold over i lost that as well my fridge right that's what i was gonna ask were you storing anything in there how many pairs of shoes stuff oh there would have been shoes that would be like my sleeping bags my fridge like i mean so much so much stuff all your airport shoes

i bought this beautiful set of knives i thought how nice to go camping and have like this nice set of knives while you're camping that's like a real i thought god if you know the child version of me could see me now with these beautiful knives in my camping trailer how luxurious you think wow this guy's really got his shit together you seem very attached to all this stuff that you didn't look at for two years i know it's i used to camp the trip yeah i went camping with it and stuff um i just never registered it right yeah no i love it i really loved it it's really really sad story yeah you sound like you really really attached to it. Well, I can't.

If you always... Life is like this. You can't... You just have to learn to live with loss, don't you? I love the idea of someone listening to this who's like they went to a, you know, one of those like storage auctions recently. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they're just like... They've been telling their friends like, man, I got this amazing camper trailer. I keep meaning to check when the auction is and see what it went for. Because I probably could buy it back for not that much. I probably could buy it back. Because they don't know what's inside.

They don't know how much stuff is inside it. They don't know about the solar panels. Yeah, is it one of those, when you buy it off those people, is it like storage wars, where you just go, that looks great, and then you crack it open and go, oh, my God. Yeah, I don't think they... You know what I think you i think you can find out what's inside you don't

need a search warrant to have a look in someone's fucking caravan if you're gonna buy it sure but when they sell i'm just saying like there's probably not a wing of the dmv that's like come on let's put this up on you know real well carsales.com yeah yeah do you know what i mean yeah no they just some of those liquidator ones i think they just honestly put them out who an auction and you go, that looks... Because it's cheap and you just go,

that looks sick. Yes. And they take a gamble on it. And you just take a punt on it. You pay and you just hope there's rows and rows of beautiful shoes in there. It's not the DMV

by the way that's selling it. It's like some toe company. Some third party. Yeah, it's just some toe company. And the other thing is they put a note on my trailer telling me to move it

like the... It doesn't matter. Council? The council put a note on, you know, and I saw it on Friday. And I was like, okay. And then I went to move it on Monday and there had been this like shitty old car parked in front of my trailer all weekend. So I couldn't move it. And I've realized that the tow away people put it there. Oh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They people put the, put it there. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They just like robbed me, but it was wow. Yeah. So job, you gotta love it.

If you're working at the tow company and it's like, here's your job for the morning. It's a camper trailer. You're like, oh, this is a fucking easy one to start off the day. You know, actually it was at the heavy doing Judy towing company. Cause they, they, it was cause they, I guess they couldn't actually just hitch it. Right, right. They have to put it on a truck to see what you think.

Do you want me to give you more really specific details about the camper? I'm loving it. I'm feeling, I'm feeling great about it. I've never had a car towed and that's unbelievable to me

but I can see it in my future. I've had mine towed before and then I went in to get it and it was just like, you know, you know that episode, you know, a lot of things in life

sometimes you base off pop culture like Homer Simpson when he gets his camper van towed and he gets put in the impound. Remember that? And then he has to break out of it. Yep. Well, my car got put in a compound that was exactly like that compound. So as I'm driving it, I'm like, I literally feel like I'm Homer Simpson.

I'm living the Simpsons. I was like, you guys, Matt Groening, you've nailed this. This is actually what it's like. Matt Groening's car getting towed and him being like, this gives me an idea. Yeah, yeah. Did you know that one of the first ever gigs that I did for you, getting paid. Yes. My car got towed away.

Yes. Because it was down at Softbelly. No, it wasn't. It was in St Kilda. Yeah. So whatever that original version was. Felix Bar. Felix Bar.

Thank you. And it was the opening night. Yes. So what was there? Fleety. Yes. Oh, I forget the other ones on. Yeah. And the guy was so happy with it, he got us all drunk.

And I'd driven and then parked it on Incommon Street, which if anyone knows St Kilda, that's real dodgy. And yeah, then obviously I just took a cab home and I'm like, I'll get it in the morning. But it's right out the front. And all of a sudden the next day, Greg Fleet had a new car. Really weird. Really weird.

It was out the front of a halfway house because I remember going back there my car's gone and I was about to go in and be like all right which junkie

took this absolute pieces of work and give it to them and then I looked at the clearway sign and went oh

no you'd throw me a hundred dollars worth of drinks and it cost me 800 bucks yeah back from a

Collingwood you got a back car that must be nice this is weird Josh I went on the day yeah At Collingwood. You got a back, huh? That must be nice. This is weird, Josh. I went on the day.

He noticed it missing immediately and did something about it. I just did the stuff they told me to do and I got a back. This will also blow your mind apart. I was wearing shoes. Sounds luxurious. Which one of your publicists went to get it? Come on. Be honest. And it's your friends, Tommy and Carl, dropping in on the middle of this episode

to remind you about some live engagements that we have coming up. Adelaide, the 700th episode is happening on February the 24th, Saturday afternoon. Very, very special guests. It'll be part of history. And by that, I don't mean 700th episode. I mean being in a full house in Adelaide. Yeah. Very special.

And we're selling really well so there's not that many tickets left to be completely honest and then Melbourne our traditional run of March and April

shows every Saturday afternoon 4.30 Basement Comedy Club they are going to be heaving and heaving full of awesome guests great guests for all

of these shows by the way so Melbourne get your skates on there are limited season passes available right now that won't last forever. And just to round it all up, Tommy, talk about limited things left.

Coastal Million International Podcast Festival, there are three tickets left, rooms left at time of recording. That's it. Then that's it, Tommy. Then it's done. Yeah. We have booked out an entire resort apart from two people that live there. Yep.

Yep. I wonder if we could convince them to just go away for the week. Oh. And sublet their rooms to us and then sell them on. That's not bad. That would be pretty cool. That's not a bad idea. Why don't you just go to Copenhagen for a week?

That's not bad. Yeah. Why don't you just go to Ozo for a week? Yeah. Just down the road. Yeah, we just book them another resort like next door. All right, we'll find out about that. We'll find out about that.

We could work out an arrangement with the people who take those rooms where you get to like, they can leave their stuff. Yeah. If you forget anything, you can come back and get it. The people that are taking it for the week won't mind. You know what? They probably have like two single beds in their room. Just sublet one of the beds.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just share house it. Like the world's worst Airbnb. Yes. It's not one of the beds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just share house. Like the world's worst Airbnb. It's not only you don't get a whole room to yourself, you get a whole bed to yourself. This gives us more to find out about when we get there. Yeah, okay. Good stuff.

LittleDumbDumbClub.com. Book your tickets to all that stuff. And now on with the show. Well, Josh, yeah, a lot of your show in the description, you talk about how it's a lot about you being diagnosed with ADHD recently, which is something that I've been through in the last year. The arduous process of- What, you just got diagnosed now?

A few months ago. Yeah. A bit late to the game. Pretty late to the game. But that's, it's very in, isn't it? It's very in to be in your 30s and all of a sudden be like yeah maybe i can have some drugs to help me with my fuck-ups adhd for him is all-stop dassolo hates dassolo that's what it stands for very quick off the mark thank you mate i've been

waiting years to do that if this guy ever gets diagnosed i I'm going to be right there. There better be an A-lister on the podcast so I can really flex my wares. Yeah, I went through the whole process. It took me nearly a year from GP referral to doing the online. I had to do it as a Zoom appointment. That must be frustrating given that you have ADHD. You've got to go through all those. There's so many different dates to remember. Way to play hard to get, guys.

Why would you do that in that situation? They make you jump through so many hoops that by the time you get it, you think anybody that's managed to get this was lying. Yeah, exactly. They're all, yeah. Yeah, so the final step for me was the, like, yeah, the telehealth appointment with the guy.

And two things about it. I talked about one part of this at the like yeah the the telehealth appointment with the guy and two things about it i talked about one part of this at the time on the pod he uh he was just asking me about like childhood and like anything stick out from when you were growing up and i was like oh when i was 10 i had a form of cancer and i was in hospital for two years and i had a bone marrow transplant and he goes oh okay why'd you do that i've never never really been asked that before I've never really never really thought about Hang on

did you guys get the counter mixed up? Was he on the wrong side of the counter? Was he a patient coming in with a brain injury? Hey medically speaking I wouldn't have done that

That's really not I don't know something to do I guess must have been a rainy day at school and couldn't go out and play Go down to the cemetery you've got a lot of questions

down there Why are you down there? Why did you do this? I want to reiterate, there was no streaming then. There was not a lot to watch. What else was I going to do? It's fascinating to have a part of your life just kind of looked at from a completely different angle.

Why did I do that? And then at one point he does like a screen share thing with me where he's showing me this kind kind of you know spreadsheet about the different medications you can be on and like how they work and how they're all different i'm like okay this is kind of interesting and then he asks me another question about something from childhood and it's like something i'm really having to think about so i'm sort of like i'm kind of like looking away as i'm sort of you know i'm trying to like go into my brain to like remember these details i'm like oh yeah let me where was and it takes me a while to notice that like when I look back at the screen,

as I've been telling this story from childhood, he hasn't turned screen share off and he's on the Hoyt's website booking tickets to see Ant-Man and the Waltz. Just like, oh my God. I truly am on the wrong side of this call. Is he getting the medication going, one for you, one for me? Yeah, totally. Well, he's the guy who knows what his role is.

He knows he needs to just do the official ceremony and you just want the drugs and he's just counting down the clock to get to the end and then go. He does feel a bit like that. The very leading questions of like, you've felt like this, haven't you? Okay, sure. Is this guy like a football coach where it's like,

well, you can't really coach without having done it yourself? I guess. Is that the qualification? But he's clearly, he hasn't taken his Vyvanse that day because he's very, he wasn't locked into our conversation at all. So are you going with Vyvanse? I'm going with Vyvanse. Slow release.

On the Vyvis, yeah. 12 hours. Yep, yep. What about you? I have both. Oh, yeah. But not easy Yep. Yep. What about you? I have both. Oh, yeah. But not easy to get. You can't have that in Australia.

So I get them from different doctors in different countries for different days. Well, all of a sudden your shit's organized now. Yeah, I got piles of mountains of dexamphetamine, to be honest. Well, my doctor was like, your script might run out in about June. So maybe come back and we can reassess and I was like don't worry about it brother we'll be going to Thailand yeah we're going to Thailand don't worry about that well you know that

that's math right yeah not like legal math you know like in a lot of these countries they've started just making fake prescription drugs and it's actually math literally math and you've got to be careful, yeah. Yeah, okay.

Don't bring it back into the country. Sorry to bring things down a little bit, but they've started making counterfeit drugs that look like they're prescription drugs and they're often just math. Yeah, okay. Huh. Interesting. I'll have to see how I go. I'll do the Coke and Pepsi challenge.

I'll take an Australian Vyvanse and a Thailand one and see how I go I'll do the Coke and Pepsi challenge I'll take a Australian Vyvanse And a Thailand one And see how I go They do have a lot of drugs Out the front of Like they just have like a A fold up A fold up table

At the front of Most 7-Elevens In the Like main street of Bangkok And they've always got like Heaps of drugs Just sitting there And I always wonder

What's Where's that getting at You can't buy This stuff over the counter In Thailand Yeah Can you Yeah Dexys Just anywhere A lot of different Like can't buy this stuff over the counter in Thailand. Yeah. Can you? Yeah.

Where? Dexys. Just anywhere. A lot of different, like... What do you mean just in the counter? Like in the glass counter so you can see them? There are different chemists. I don't know...

Next to the jelly beans. I don't know how this... That's what it feels like. In my mind, that's what the picture was. I don't know how this works, but you go to like brand name chemists in certain places and they're like, no. But you go to sketchy ones out where you talk to

a guy who's clearly not a chemist and clearly he's just been working at 7-eleven the day before he's got a new job there literally i've walked in and gone sort of like you know what's the what's the technical name for valiums again what's it called um deck oh valium uh five hands i don't know no sure whatever the yeah yeah whatever it is The chemical compound I'll do this I'll literally sit at the front Of a chemist And google it and go

Medical name for Valium And then walk in and go Oh have you got any And like It's Valium though No no no Valium's the brand isn't it Benzodiazepines

Oh no what's it called Diazepam Diazepam Right I'll walk in and go Do you have any diazepam For my condition And they go

Yeah yeah Needing a snooze Yeah yeah And they literally will go and go, do you have any diazepam for my condition? My condition? Yeah, yeah. Needing a snooze. Yeah, yeah. And they literally will go, like this happened the last time I was there. They literally, like some guy

that's like so dodgy just walks out and goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've got fucking, I've got heaps of them. Here you go. And while you're there, what do you want?

Viagra? Dickhard? Yeah? I'm like, yeah, I want to go to sleep with a raging boner. That's what I want. A sweet combo.

And then he'll be like, yeah, what else? I've got everything. What do you want? You tell me what you want. I'm like, yeah, I want to go to sleep with a raging boner. That's what I want. A sweet combo. And then he'll be like, yeah, what else? I've got everything. What do you want? You tell me what you want. I'm like, man, fuck. It's just overwhelming. Yeah. They're all off the back of Valium.

What's Milan working at a chemist for? Wait, but do you know, have you ever in Bangkok had them randomly check your, the police stop you and check your bag? No. I've had this happen three times. Oh, really? Yeah. You know, my dad lives in, my sister lives in Bangkok. My dad lives in Bangkok. Yeah. They just pull you. They just stop you on check your bag. No. I've had this happen three times. Oh, really? Yeah. You know, my dad lives in, my sister lives in Bangkok.

My dad lives in Bangkok. Yeah, they just pull you, they just stop you on the street and they go through. On the street? Yeah, the police will, yeah. Oh. For sure. That's weird because,

you know, like I said, at the front of 7-Elevens there's just stuff out. Card tables full of drugs and whatever. Looking at the two of you, men who go to Thailand regularly

and the idea that, Josh, you would get stopped and Carl, you wouldn't is insane to Thailand regularly, and the idea that, Josh, you would get stopped and, Carl, you wouldn't, is insane to me. That's like a Freaky Friday scenario. This is the wrong way around. It's funny because I don't think we talked about it. I put it up on socials or whatever.

Because I was in Thailand because I mostly go to islands and stuff, and you're dressed to be on the beach or whatever. I was spending my time. I just packed a wardrobe like I was going to be on the beach, but I was in Bangkok the whole time. So I was just walking down the business district in like singlet and thongs and shorts

and just looking like the biggest fuckhead of all time. Like even people in Bangkok are going, this can't look sketchy. Like this is a bad look. Get this guy out of here. He's bad for tourism. Yeah.

Yeah, I wonder why that chemist was offering you all that. Well, I've got like, parallel to this, I've got a, I'm like a new GP for the first time. I just was like always just seeing like an old family doctor where I got to a point where I'm like, I should go somewhere different, like somewhere a bit younger. And I've got this guy now and he's good. I want to go to a cool doctor.

Yeah, I want to go to a cool, hot doctor. It goes to Palace Cinemas, not just your hoist. Exactly. I've moved up in the world. I'm more cultured now. Dr. Pino. Have you heard about the Scandinavian Film Festival? Well, I like the cut of your gym.

Here we go. Well, this new guy I got, he's like, yeah, he's pretty young. He's a lot easier to talk to. But then the first appointment I had with him, I noticed on his arm, he's got this big tattoo that says, remember, everyone dies. I'm like, is this a good ad for a GP? And he's showing that arm. He's just got it hanging out.

It's like, is that him just being like, hey, if I fuck it up, just remember, we're all going to the grave eventually anyway. Not my fault. As well, just like illegal claws that they can always see. I think I'm fading. Well, you saw the forum. Does he cover that up when he's telling people they've got cancer? No, he's just there in like a t-shirt.

How many patients have he had to die before he had to make himself feel a little bit better by getting that tattoo, you know? Yeah, was that day one on the job? Why are you fighting these people? For the first four years of med school, he's like, no. Yeah, no, everyone does. No, I'm not following. I'm sorry.

He gets it because he's like, I'm so cut up because I'm such a terrible doctor. People keep dying, but I don't want to keep crying about it. I'll just put this here. I've calmed myself down. Yeah, it'll be fine. So I went in there recently to get a new prescription refilled. I thought I had more of this stuff. i was at the chemist and they're like no this is done and so i go in there and i'm saying this to him and he's like i i swear i gave

you one with like five repeats on it and i'm like yeah it says there's nothing on it and he goes oh what sometimes happens is the chemist when they fulfill the prescription they're meant to like hit a button on their end that sends you the repeats and sometimes they just forget to do that so they just have clearly not hit the button. He's like, you know what? I'll call the chemist now and I'll tell them to send it through. And I'm like, great. And he picks up the phone and I go, oh, this is a bit like, you know,

this is a bit like mum said no. So I've come and asked dad if I can have some ice cream for dinner. And as I can hear the phone ringing, he just turns to me and goes, no comedy, thanks. No funny buggers fuck send him this podcast yeah all right we'll keep this strictly business yeah is he joking no i don't well ironically i don't know i think that's a very funny way of putting instead of hey you know be serious or or whatever. Just no comedy. No comedy. No comedy, thank you.

It's like, oh, well, I'm flattered that you think that that was comedy. And you've got a slide whistle just out of your pocket. What's the point? Jeez, this has been quite the odyssey. You're getting the best of what the medical industry's got. I'm not having a lot of luck with medical professionals, am I? No, not at all. Yeah, we've got a couple of doctors that listen to this show, surprisingly enough.

Having a good consistent GPA thing is a really important adult thing to do. That's all I... Wow. From a man who regularly doesn't wear shoes down the street. Well, once when I was 19 and twice in primary school. What? That's the amount of times I didn't wear shoes.

Oh, okay. Okay, yeah. So you, Josh, you were in uh you're in rio recently uh-huh you live a you live a real fascinating jet what is going on with your life who's funding this life um um success why have you got money for rio but not sneakers? What do you mean? I had nice shoes. I just wasn't wearing them. Was Rio work or were you just hanging out?

No, I went on vacation. Try and think of how he would be working in Rio. Does anyone work in Rio? No, but I was also asking that. Whether there's enough English speakers that we got ourselves a gig. I'm pretty famous in Rio. Are you? I'm pretty famous in Brazil, yeah.

Really? Yeah, I am, yeah. For real? I'm pretty famous in Brazil yeah really? yeah I am yeah for real? I am yeah if we were walking around in Brazil you'd be like what the hell? really?

yeah please like there's games around yeah yeah I know I am hey look it's Shoeless Joe is this? he did the voice hell yeah brother look I ran through it

in my head just quickly I'm like nah I reckon I can do that yeah Josh Tomasinho but no I know this is a long bye but like Look, I ran through it in my head just quickly. I'm like, no, I reckon I can do that one. Josh Thomasinho. But no, I know this is a long bow, but I remember Silverchair did their biggest ever concert in Rio.

Did they? Yeah, so they love Australians. Ipso facto. They're doing stuff there. So is it like, you know, everyone says Jerry Lewis was big in France. Is this you, big in Brazil? I mean, just like, just big in gays. With gays, you know.

Just gays. And they're everywhere. So big everywhere, but... Like, every country there's some... And then I'm in gay places. But I mean, I think on my Instagram analytics, my third country, my third city is... My third country is Brazil. My third city is somewhere in Argentina, I think.

Oh, really? So are you going to do any stand-up there or not? I asked about doing it because I thought it could be funny, but then they didn't know how to do it. No comedy, please. No comedy. They didn't know how to do it. And also, what happens is people come up and they're fans, but they don't speak English because they're reading the subtitles.

So I don't think it would be a great gig, to be honest. You'd need a translator. Yeah. Or I have a lot of people overseas. Not a lot of people. Maybe two people in my life have come up to me from overseas, and they're like, I watched Please Like Me because they're coming to Australia. So they're like a gay person overseas coming to Australia.

And they were like, I wanted to learn the Australian accent, and I watched Please Like Me Me and it was a mistake. And I was like, yes, I'm so sorry. I really threw you a curveball on that one. Yeah.

I'd love to see the progression of that in like hundreds of years how, you know, like Adelaide has their own sort of slightly different accent where it's just like people that have immigrated here

studied Please Like Me before they've gotten here and it's just like people that have immigrated here studied Please Like Me before they've gotten here and it's like why are there why are there pockets of Australia where the accent's so different that's great because that's

the other place that everyone talks about now is that like in America kids are growing up with Australian accents because of Bluey but there's a lot of

Brazilian gay people that have got fuck knows what your accent is autism yeah do you what do you get what do people mistake it for quite often if they hear you what they think every country they just think it's a different country

they just think i'm not from wherever i am right yeah yeah from somewhere else you're a foreigner wherever you are also changes a lot depends on who you've been hanging out with right i think it sounds quite aussie at the moment but I know everyone says I sound a bit American at the moment this is an autism thing well this would be this would have been good to know because I was at a party recently just before the end of last year at my friend's house and it's like

a group of people that we all hang out a lot we're often at parties at this house where it's like all the same people we all kind of know what to expect when we go to a party at this house and they've just recently got a new housemate it's like all the same people. We all kind of know what to expect when we go to a party at this house. And they've just recently got a new housemate who's someone just like a random who we don't know. And he brought along a lot of Brazilian friends that he'd met at his work.

So all of a sudden, this party that we're at is just taken over by Brazilians. They commandeer the music. Did they mention me? Reggaeton. Well, it would have been helpful to know that you're big in brazil because i was sitting with two of these guys out in the backyard and we were just talking about what i was trying to hell i and josh thomas i was trying to get to know these guys and you know we're talking about what we do and everything and i mentioned comedy and they're like oh what

comedians do you like and it's like such a hard question to answer because you're like well i don't know who you know you know obviously like you do it you're like pretty deep in i'm like oh who are the reference points here and i'm saying like this person and that person and you're like, well, I don't know who you know. Obviously, as you do it, you're pretty deep in. I'm like, oh, who are the reference points here? And I'm saying this person and that person, and they're like, oh, no, I don't know them. And then one of them completely seriously and very earnestly goes to me, have you heard of Jim Carrey? Me and my friend are just really trying to keep a straight face.

We're like, oh, yeah, the Yes Man. Yeah, we know him. Just trying to list the most obscure Jim Carrey. Yes Man. What did he do after In Living Colour? What did he do? They're like, what about his friend Adam Sandler? Do you know him?

Oh, his buddy, his best friend, Adam Sandler. I like that. Yeah, Adam Sandler's a big credit. Friends with Jim Carrey. Yeah. But I love that. Just like you do comedy. Have you heard of Jim Carrey? Yeah. Yeah. And that. Just like you do comedy. Have you heard of Jim Carrey?

Yeah. Yeah. And they were like, oh, did you ever see him live? And I was like, he doesn't perform live. And I remember that you and I have seen him live. Did you too? Yeah. We went to Montreal and he did a talk.

He didn't do stand up. He just did a talk about whatever that series was. Was he a bit weirdly serious? That show about stand upup that he executive produced? It was in his era of being weird where they'd say, hey, where do you get your ideas from? And he'd cut straight into, well, I don't really exist. All I am is atoms floating around the universe

and it belongs to a dog that lives in fucking Neptune. And you go, cool, man. Can you just pull your face and make a funny noise? Yeah, say this, that's fine, but do it out of your ass. Turn around

and make these big ideas come out of that butthole. Then we'll all be on board. Then we'll be loving it. We're all atoms floating in space. Alrighty then. He did go through that phase.

Mind you, did it not coincide? This is a dark turn. I know exactly What you're going to say Yeah it's probably not good For the podcast That's fine

I'm getting Look it's This is the end Of the school holidays I've had my kids for six weeks I'm starting to become A little unhinged But yeah

It was like there was There was a death of someone Strange circumstances His girlfriend at the time Passed away And all of a sudden Yeah I think there was A bit of defensive

Well I couldn't have Had anything to do with it Cuckoo Cuckoo I'm still Andy Kaufman What Yeah it was funny Yeah, I think there was a bit of defense of, well, I couldn't have had anything to do with it. Cuckoo, cuckoo. I'm still Andy Kaufman. Yeah, it was funny because it was him as part of this panel of this show that he executive produced, a drama series about stand-up comedy in LA in the 70s.

And it's like everyone just wants to hear what Jim has to say. No one cares about this show. People just want to hear the great man hold court. And so the moderator's like, ah, Jim, what was it like when you started out? And he's like, ah, who cares about me? What about that great storyline in episode four of this series? And everyone in the crowd's like, please shut up. We don't care about this show.

Do some of your funny little voices. I do remember this happened exactly to us in high school when Geelong where I grew up used to have a professional basketball team the Supercats and one of the guys

turned up and he didn't realise he was a born again Christian but he came in to tell us all about the Lord and it was like a gym full of guys just little high school kids

just sitting there and this guy's like if you allow the Lord to come into your life you'll be better for it any questions can you dunk and he's like

no and he said and by the third person he goes i'm not gonna dunk and you watch all the hands just go down cool man it can god dunk like can someone do something now my friend had almost the same experience when we were in high school they had uh sean mccarloff came and did a talk at their school. Just about like, yeah, career and all this kind of stuff. Can you dunk? Yeah.

Gets to the end. Any questions? Do Milo Kerrigan. Do it right now for us. And him being a bit bashful and like, I think resisting, but then going like, these kids might murder me if I don't.

What do you, what do you get Josh? Do you get, do you get a, one thing that you get told? No one's requesting anything. No. No?

Let me think. Are you doing little, are you doing Q and A you get told? No one's requesting anything. No. No? Let me think. Are you doing Q&As at the end of your shows? Sometimes I used to. No, everybody wants to. No, no, no. Do you ever get asked for autographs anymore? Are they just gone? Is it just selfies now?

No one asks for autographs. No one's asked for autographs. No one really asked me for photos. Now I'm more openly weird, I guess. More openly weird. What did I think I was doing when I was 22? I'm not really on TV. I'm only on my own little shows. People that watch my own little shows

they they don't they know that I don't really want to talk to them right yeah well they know that like it's gonna be weird

or that I won't be that that I'll be like awkward about it so often people they don't they're always like that's a good corner to be on it's nice yeah it's better than

when I was on Celebrity Splash I would say yeah Celebrity Splash I'd would say, yeah. Celebrity Splash. I'd forgotten completely about that show. You, Paulie Fennec. Was that right? Yeah.

I can't remember who else. I just do remember in America, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar went on it. He was an old basketball player who's seven foot two. And you watch a man go on a springboard on seven foot two. That's a good time. It's hilarious to watch. Brent Edelston. Went up on YouTube, kids. Brent edelston was on there brin edelston i was friends with brin edelston for about three weeks that's cool i'll never forget it what a ride special time until she got towed

that's why we don't see much of her anymore What about I'm a celebrity get me out of here You ever gonna go on that? No I don't think so No I don't wanna be hungry Do you? Like I just don't I just don't want a camera pointed at me

While I'm hungry Yeah Did you Shane Morn got access to cigarettes You could get like Cheesecake or something I always kind of wonder If they'd let us have

Dexamphetamine in there Because it's prescription And then I guess I wouldn't feel so hungry But I go a bit crazy. And also the thing about – You think he takes easy to the junk. I don't want to eat an eyeball, but that doesn't scare me as much as doing the show, it going to air. I mean, you can be in there for six weeks and you don't know what's going on TV, right?

So you don't know like what you're doing as you're doing it. But there's like a live response and then, I don't know, one get voted out or not or sometimes you watch it right and everybody hates somebody so they're like putting them in the task all the time yeah so you know you're going in the task all the time and you're thinking like oh are they doing this because i'm coming across as a real douchebag on tv are they doing this because they think i'm charming they want to see more of me on camera all of that i think would just be also they don't pay they don't pay i love the idea that you take your add meds in there because you're like god i really need to focus today on eating this warthog anus if i forget to do that i'm gonna be you could go fiona lockham style i mean they didn't give her any grub but she made her own she just she was just drinking

hand sanitizer in there is that what she did did Did she? Yeah. Oh, no. Making a Vyvanse out of rocks and twigs. I think I've cracked the formula. Oh, that's so sad. Yeah. Her little tummy was very clean the whole time. So, yeah. Good. Wasn't the last season, though, because they involved Robert Irwin,

and then he said, no animals will suffer through this entire series. And the producers are like, sorry, what? Yeah. No, this is the whole point. We get excrement and eyeballs of dead animals and eat it. Oh, my God, what are we going to do? Would you put your head in a box of spiders?

That doesn't bother me. Yeah, the spider thing doesn't. How much would you want to get paid to go on I'm a Celebrity and get me out of here? Great question. Good question. I mean. Well, they do this thing for free. Yeah, I know.

It's a pretty low bar, Josh. It's hard to get past the idea. Can we put, Josh. It's hard to get past the idea. Could we put it in there? It's hard to get past the idea of anyone asking us to do it. That's your cigarettes. Guys, I'm going to need to bring the Zoom recorder in so that we can get interviews with the other celebrities. Would you want to do it?

I mean, no one wants to do it. Does anyone want to do that? I feel like Joel Queensey was happy for the attention. Yeah, yeah, okay. If you're new and that's's the thing that's gonna launch you like i think as a comedian you kind of can't lose right yeah to come out and do material and like have your say and do material about it yeah i mean it wasn't it wasn't i could be wrong but pete rosethorn didn't he go in and was just very transparent about i've got a huge tax bill

yeah i think he said it and it went on air and I was like, that's actually quite funny. I did that on Slippery Splash and they didn't put it in. Yeah, they just want belly whackers. They don't want sad life details. Yeah, do a horsey. Yeah. Yeah, when you screamed, fuck you ATO

when you jumped off the springboard. It was hard to cut out. I was at the pub last night watching the tennis and I had my dog with me and there was this lady that was nearby and she also had her dog. And my dog and her dog both start barking really loudly at this dog, these other dogs that are outside. And, you know, we're all trying to calm our dogs down.

And then the lady comes over to me and goes, that wasn't our dog that set that off, by the way. Those dogs outside, they're bad dogs. We see them here all the time. Those dogs are fucking assholes. They're bad dogs. The owners don't know what they're doing. They're fucked.

And I'm like, oh, okay. I look outside. Who's sitting there with his two dogs but Limo? Limo. Anthony Leh there with his two dogs but Limo? Limo! Anthony Lehman with his bad dogs. So this woman just like trashes him and then I get to turn around and go, that's my friend and I don't know you. So I think I'm on Limo's side.

I'm glad you said that because you said, if I was listening to the podcast and you said that I had bad dogs, I'd be calling a lawyer. His dogs are fine you said that I had bad dogs, I'd be calling a lawyer. These dogs are fine. I don't have bad dogs, I think. And these are not bad dogs. Yeah. If they got impounded, you'd be remembering the paper.

You'd be getting a message. I would have, yeah, I would have found a way. Well, we've got two big signals that we should end this podcast. One is your publicist giving us a wind-up signal. The other one is my daughter looking like she's going to kill herself. But it's gone great. We've had a lot of fun, guys. I've finally figured out something that will force kids back to school

after holidays. I can't sit through Dad's podcast again. Dad's podcast. Dying days and tears. I don't care, school, juvie, whatever. She's sat through this whole thing, and she's been to a live one where she fell asleep at this one. She's trying to neck herself at this one.

So she's... I don't think we've got a listener. There's going to be a whole... This whole generation is going to be at their therapists in 20 years talking about their dance podcast. All right. Well, we better wrap it up there

for another week. Josh Thomas, Dave Thornton, thank you very much for joining us. We haven't even mentioned the name of your show that's going national, Josh. What's the name of it? Let's tidy up. Let's tidy up.

It's going everywhere. Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, Adelaide, Cairns, Perth? Yeah. Going everywhere. Comedy.com.au Newcastle, lest we forget. And the same website

we can see Dazzling Diamond Dave Thornton's new show which is called Nothing's Unpossible. And that's touring at all

major cities and some other places as well. Get on my social media Dave underscore Thornton. All the details

are there. Red hot superstar of TikTok. Come and take your place in the stalls next to 12 year olds and whatever the

fuck. Listen to your comedy these days. Jeez what a sell. Come be around some 12 year olds and whatever the fuck listen to your comedy these days jeez what a sell come be around some 12 year olds can't wait to see who follows that call

yeah I thought I dodged Epstein's list but here we are and also there's two stand up specials on my YouTube page

if you want to check them out great thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time see you man

see you man and they've you, mate. See you, mate. And they've done it again. Oh, my God. Nearly the 695th time in a row or whatever the fuck it is. Yeah. Crazy. Crazy times. Busy episode.

Yeah. A lot going on in the room. We had a publicist overseeing things. Oh, that's right. We had a child. Yes. Bored out of her mind. Yes. Blank out of her mind.

Yes. Blanket sat in on a full episode. So she, yeah, she has a very interesting view of what Daddy does for a living. Yeah. Because she's been to a live podcast now. She's now seen. She's been to Tasmania for a live one. Yes.

She's been to a live one in Melbourne. Yes. She's been in the room for a studio episode. Yes. She's been here for a Talking Dum Dum. Oh, yeah. I don't know if she's ever witnessed a Patreon bonus episode. No.

But she's almost attended all of them. I don't remember saying the words welcome to the fuck hour in front of her. Yeah, she has a very interesting idea of what goes on. But she knows that... But even adults do. Yes. So that's not exclusive to her being a child. You know, she has a very interesting idea of what goes on. But she knows that... But even adults do. Yes. So that's not exclusive to her being a child. You know, she does now.

Like I'm going to... I'm very quickly or slowly, I don't know. I feel like I've really held off on, here's a funny thing that my child says, but she's really getting a very good vein of form at the moment. Yep. She does a good one where, you know, she picks up the microphone and just goes, blah, blah, blah, everyone laugh at me,

blah, blah, blah, does that. Which I'm like, that's pretty good. But then she picks up the phone. Now, hang on. You do need to explain for people, there's just a microphone sitting around your house that she has access to. When you run enough gigs,

you need a spare microphone sitting around and stuff. This is one of yours. This isn't like a toy one that she has. No. No, no, no. This is a real microphone. The communal house microphone. Yes.

It's just lying around for anyone in the family. It's the speaker's corner of the house. If anyone wants to do a set, try out some gear in front of the rest of the family. Yeah. So, yeah, then she picks up my phone. She knows that I run shows and stuff. So whenever she gets access to my phone, she just picks it up and goes hello um shows off everyone the show's not happening anymore sorry goodbye it's canceled yeah and you have to abide by that yeah and then i have to say well

you won't be eating tonight blanket yeah because daddy's not making any money so yep and then she like hurriedly gets picks up up the phone again. Oh, oh, show's back on everyone. Oh, that's good. Yeah, okay. Wow. That's cool that she's able to just call all of the ticket holders on a mass call at once. At four. Well, you know what?

It's her birthday today, Tommy. I was going to say at four years old, but it's her fifth birthday today. Wow. Little blankets growing up. At school. At school. Got in there, brought her in there to school today. Her third day of school of whatever they call it.

They call it foundation now, apparently. What do you mean? Well, I thought it was called prep. Oh, right. Yeah, right. She's in there. It's all like this foundation stuff. I mean, prep made a lot of sense as well.

Prep's nice and short. You can say it. You can spell it. But now it's foundation. Found. Found-o. Yeah. Got in there. There's a little's Foundo. Found. Foundo. Yeah. Got in there.

There's a little birthday hat waiting for her. Oh, really? So that everyone, she gets to wear the birthday hat and everyone else knows it's her birthday. Yeah, that's good. She'd be loving that. Yeah. What did she get as a gift from you and your wife? Well, she got like a little toy, but like she's about to have two proper birthday parties,

so that's all being saved for that but she got to wake up she's got the big birthday stuff on the wall and the million balloons which she loves

and stuff on the wall that she got to play with this morning and then she's got a birthday cake and what do you call them what are they

what are they called again like this is horrible podcast. You're giving me nothing to work with. Sparklers. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sparklers.

Yep. So I've got a sparkler. Candles for the cake and sparklers for tonight when it gets dark. Front row seat reserved for at Spleen this evening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She can pop in. Yep. Yes, anyway, that'd be good.

Great. But five years old today. Well, happy birthday blanket. Yes. Yes, anyway, that'd be good. Great. But five years old today. Well, happy birthday, Blanket. Yes. Good on you. Good on you. Well, speaking of taking money and being positive as a result, patreon.com slash little dum-dum club.

You can get on there. You can get two bonus mini episodes every week, often with special guests who've been on the show. And you may be moments away from hearing your name be read out and thanked for your contribution to the arts. Oh, my God. Imagine this. Imagine you as a child, Tommy,

having your name read out on a podcast, on your favourite podcast. Yeah. This is, I mean, I'm sure we must have said this before. This is the slightly more adult version of Romper Room. Yeah, exactly. Of looking through the window or whatever it was. I never watched it.

We never got Romper Room in the regional areas. It's before my time, so I know it mostly from you talking about it. Right. But I've never seen a second of it. Okay. But I guess my generation equivalent would have been Agro's Cartoon Connection. Ah. Bringing your name up on the screen when it was your birthday.

Right. Is that what that was? No, I think it was just they would look through a looking glass or something and pretend that they were looking out to watch the people who were watching the show. Yeah, I don't like that. I can see you, Tommy. That's scary. I would have hated that as a kid.

That would have really terrified me. I can see you, Blanket. I can see you, Pablo. All that sort of stuff. Yeah, that as a kid. That would have really terrified me. I can see you, Blanket. I can see you, Pablo. All that sort of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, that was, yeah, yeah. So that is a bit weird. Anyway, like I said, that was only, I only saw a little bit of that when we were down

in the metro regions, Tommy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No more Prime, no more Wynn. Yeah, well. Straight up seven and nine. Sorry, mate. That was even, you know, after my childhood, really. It was BTV6 and BCV8.

Just Channel 8 and Channel 6 back then. That's it? Yep. I remember when Prime came in, which was Channel 7. I must have been about 10 or 12 or something. I was like, oh my God, three channels. Yeah, that must have felt like you were staring into the future. It was crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big times. But anyway, speaking of all of that, this is the 2024 version of that. Having your name read out on this show. Thank you very much to everyone who subscribes to this show, everyone who listens to this show, everyone who puts up with this show because their partner's listening to it. People who are subscribed on their podcast app of choice

and download the episodes and never end up listening to them. Yep who are subscribed on their podcast app of choice and download the episodes and never end up listening to them. Yep. Thanks to you. Yeah. Still counting towards the numbers. Appreciate it.

First cap off the rank, thank you very much to Patreon subscriber, long time subscriber, first time reader-outerer because they don't have a surname but, you know, I'm using what,

the information that I have. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Lucy Kate. Now, there would be a surname there somewhere that has not been supplied. Right. You don't think Kate might be the surname? No, I don't think so. And she's just mistakenly not known how to fill out a form? Have you ever met someone with the surname Kate?

K-A-T-E. I'm sure they're out there. I'm sure they're not.. I'm sure they're not. It's impossible. It's impossible. It's actually impossible. You think it's literally impossible. I'm Googling it right now.

Open up yellowpages.com.au right now and look up the surname Kate. I dare you. I've just Googled. Does anyone have the last name Kate? Yep. No. Does anyone have the last name Kate? Yep. Now this is good podcasting. All right. Maybe it has happened before.

Yeah, of course. The most famous person with the last name Kate is Lauren Kate. Who's that? I don't know. She's the most famous person. She's the most famous person. Yeah. What has she done?

Doesn't say much. Now I'm going to have to Google who is Lauren Kate. American author. Oh, she wrote Fallen. Okay. Yeah. All right. Okay.

Well, there you go. That's a pretty prominent one. Okay. Well, all right. This is possible. Maybe Lucy Kate is Lauren Kate's sister. As punishment for being so wrong, you have to read the book Fallen by, wait, Lauren Kate. Yes.

Lauren Kate is an American author of adult and young adult fiction. So is that what that is? What's Fallen? I don't know. One of those books for the tween market. Yeah, that's what I thought. So they got turned into a movie. Ah, okay.

And what's the movie about? Right, Fallen. Fuck. And what's the movie about? Right. Fallen. Fuck. Fallen is a 2016 American romantic fantasy drama film directed by Scott Hicks based on Lauren Cate's 2009 novel of the same name.

Give me a plot. Lucinda Luce Price is sent to Sword and Cross Academy for troubled young teens. Uh-oh. After she is blamed for the death of a boy named Trevor, who perishes in a fire started by mysterious shadows that Luce sees after kissing him. Luce feels cursed, blaming herself for Trevor's death. Okay. It goes on and on.

Wow. It seems like a bit of a... This sounds very anime, honestly. Yeah. It looks... If this was a comic book from Japan, I would be all over this. I would be like... I would have immediately been able to go,

oh, yeah, no one's got the surname Kate, only Lauren Kate, one of the most famous manga artists of all time. Yeah, it looks a bit like... What's the vampire movie it's called again? Twilight. Twilight. It looks a bit like what's the vampire movies called again twilight twilight it looks a bit twilight twilight yeah that's a bit twilight that tracks too like that post-success of twilight then everyone's trying to everyone's trying to get their piece of the pie yeah that's 2016 so when's yeah you know the first author to really think like you know what this young adult tween, obviously you can't go too overboard.

But if you just make it a little bit horny, just slightly horny. Yeah. Just, you know, you're pitching it at kids, so you can't go too graphic. But if you just sprinkle a little bit of it in there, boy howdy, the kids are going to respond to it. Yeah. Good on people for still making it with books these days. Fucking hard to do. Easy to put a book out.

I'm a little bit disappointed that Funny Buggers didn't get adapted into a movie. I'm a little bit bitter about that. But good for her, good for Lauren Kate to put put a book out get it turned into a movie i'm i mean i'd i'd love scorsese to take on funny buggers yeah yeah yeah real big three and a half hour epic um or maybe tarantino that will make that his last ever movie oh yeah that the next one's gonna be his last ever one right that's what he famously like anyone gives a fuck how many he makes yeah i've The next one's going to be his last ever one, right? That's what he said. That's what he said. Famously, like anyone gives a fuck how many he makes. Yeah.

I've got to be held to this. No one cares, mate. But that could be it. Funny buggers. I'd love that. I think there's a couple of jokes here about a bungled heist. Yeah, you didn't get any calls about optioning the rights when it came out? Not at the time. It wasn't like Jurassic Park where the film rights got bought

before the book had even come out. They were like, this thing is going to be dynamite. We don't even care. You know what? Yeah, dinosaurs come back. Great. Here's a meal.

We'll fucking take it from here, pal. Man, look, I'll be honest. There was a little bit of that that happened and I have turned down a few options because, you know, you know what it's like, Hollywood. They want to change things. Yep.

They want to change it to a chicken sandwich instead of a duck sandwich. Yeah, sure. Is duck sandwich in there? Fuck. I think it is. I'm pretty sure it is. I think it is. I don't know.

So, but for the purposes of this riff, absolutely. Yeah, sure. And I put my foot down. I said, absolutely not. It's got to be true to the author's vision. Yep. So, that made quite a few people, I said, absolutely not. It's got to be true to the author's vision. Yeah. So that made quite a few people turn away. So look, mostly they were gay porn producers, to be honest.

Gay porn producers. Yes. Yeah, they were going to adapt. Funny buggers. Funny buggers. Makes sense. Yeah, he's got it right there. It's all there.

We don't even really need to do too much. Yep. All right. Yep. Thanks, Lucy. Good stuff. Thanks, Lucy Kate. That. Yep. Thanks, Lucy. Good stuff. Thanks, Lucy Kate. That was good.

Thanks, Lucy Kate. Worth the wait. She has been subscribed for a long time. Oh, yeah. But I'll tell you what, guys. If you don't put your surname in there, I tend to shy away from it a little bit. Because, like, we need more to work with. Give us your surname.

Well, I mean, yeah, look. Let us know if that is actually your surname. Well, I mean, yeah, look, let us know if that is actually your surname and you just fucked up and put your surname as one word in the first name category as well. Let us know if you've been subscribing for that long. I'm assuming that you're a keen listener and we can update this next week. Yeah. And we can update the Funny Buggers riff as well if you like. Speaking of people putting the wrong details in things, you know what I've been getting a lot of recently from selling shirts through my web store?

What? Emails going, hey, just wondering where this order is. Also, I put my address in wrong. I had like four of them in the space of a month where I just went, I mean, all the clues are right here. Yeah, that's good. It's insane how much that happens. That's good. Hey, where the fuck is this?

Yeah. And also, the address is completely wrong. Yeah. It is at the address that you supplied me. Yeah, well, why don't you take a little trip over there to Coburg and maybe you'll find a little treat waiting out the front of that abandoned building. Yeah, great. I like that.

Thank you very much. Thanks, Lucy. Thank you very much to Patience Subscriber, Toby Norvell. Oh, Toby. Oh, Toby. Oh, Toby. I haven't thought about that in a while. Yeah, I haven't either.

Oh, Toby. Oh, Toby. What were the other bits to that? You've ruined your track record. You've ruined your track record. Ruined your track record. Never call us again. Even the Indian cleaners were offended by that. Never in your life.

Norval. Me and my brother love to listen. Norval. N-O-R-V-A-L. Yeah, right. Yeah. That sounds like some form of... That sounds like a prescription medicine.

We've gone from Lucy Cate's sister's novel to Toby Norvell. Oh, very nice. Very droll. You know what? We talked a lot about prescription meds on this episode. Oh, yeah. You know what my fiancée has become a big fan of that she's discovered recently? Heroin.

Not all of them do this, but the Chemist Warehouse Lucky Dip recently heroin not all of them do this but uh the chemist warehouse lucky dip what some of them do this you get it it's ten dollars for a sealed up bag and there'll be like maybe eight or so things in there prescription drugs well no so she got what was the last one she got it had like like a lip balm, some Difflam, like a sunscreen. But I was saying like one in every five should just have a prescription drug in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That really would make you more, they do it as like a fundraiser thing. Right.

And you would easily double if you went, there's a one in five chance that you get some Valium or some Dexys in there. Yeah. That would be amazing. Yeah. Like, you know, your Pokemon cards. You might get a pack that's got like the shiny rare Charizard in it. I'm going $10 on a, you know, what you did.

If there was a Thailand chemist warehouse, absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Like the, I mean, that's what it's like, as we talked about on this thing. We talked about it a long time. When I was in Hua Hin and they were just giving me whatever just fucking you know 40 baht worth of mixed lollies thanks yeah but you don't but you don't need the but the thing with it here would be like

oh you've gotten lucky you've gotten this in spite of the fact that you don't have the prescription yes that's just all of thailand anyway yeah you don't need that yes you don't need the lucky dip element yeah it's just that's what you're getting when you walk in. That'd be good. What could you feasibly... You could feasibly get drugs still, like legally without changing the law. You could still get what? From here.

From what? Here. In the... Well, yeah, I mean, you can get... Can you get like those hardcore painkillers, like Oxy and stuff? Can you get them from the chemist? You probably can. Not over the counter, though.

No, you need a prescription. No, that's what I mean. But I'm saying... If they're going in the lucky dip... What's not prescription drugs that you can still get? Can you get that? What's the sleep thing that's not Valium that's just like natural? Oh, melatonin.

Can you get melatonin? I think you need a prescription for that, which is annoying because it's natural. Yuck. Yeah. That's natural. Yuck. Yeah. That's lame. I know. It's annoying. But you can get the prescription really easily.

Like if you just go to your GP, they'll give you the prescription. There's no bar to clear. I've never had melatonin. And I went to a Bangkok chemist. And there are a lot of Bangkok chemists that don't you've really got to figure out the you've really got to figure out the sort of

politics of which chemists do which sort of stuff yeah and if you go to a lot of really weirdly even in the dodgy

sections of Bangkok you think fuck they've got to do it here I was hunting the dodgiest looking chemists and they're like absolutely not

and they go you can have melatonin and I go okay I'll have that. And they go, you can have melatonin. I go, okay, I'll have that then. And they go, if you've been using Valium, it's going to really be a waste of your time though. Yeah. Like, okay, all right.

Well, I'm not having them every day, but. I need to get back on the Melis because I've never had Valium. So I love it. Right. Yeah, I want to try it. Yeah, it's good. Like I really, I mean, you know,

I joke a lot about it, but it's not like I have them all the time. I'm not fucking Brett Blake who fucking loves them. But, yeah, I have them when I really need them. But I wouldn't mind doing it. If they're natural, if melatonin is natural, I wouldn't mind just having them a bit more. Yeah, I wonder.

I mean, it probably, it's not going to, like, knock you out. You might be disappointed. I think this person probably has a point. But if you haven't had one for a while, maybe it's worth trying. Yeah, I wonder. I mean, it probably, it's not going to like knock you out. You might be disappointed. I think this person probably has a point. Yeah. But if you haven't had one for a while, maybe it's worth trying. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. No, yeah, yeah.

No, I think I would like to try it. Maybe I'll get onto it. I'll get onto it. That's what I'm taking out of this episode. Yeah. I'm going to go and get some. I'm going to stock up in Thailand. Oh, yeah?

On the melatonin. Yeah. Can you, because you can get them the cheaper or well just you don't need the prescription right i don't have a current prescription i could i mean i should just get one next time i'm at the gp that's funny but my doctor with his tattoo that says remember everyone dies that's funny you're gonna go in and stock up on melatonin and they're gonna be like the fuck's wrong with you you come to thailand for fucking prescription drugs and you do this one but i can't i got scared off valium i've told this a few times i tried to get a prescription and because i take blood pressure stuff a big thing came up on

the screen saying do not give this man valium right so i probably would be fine but when you're in your doctor's office and you see a big red X on the screen, it really puts the fear of God into you. It really makes it hard to feel like, I'll just do this anyway. That's funny, actually. You know what? So with the Coastal Million International Podcast Festival coming up June 9 to 14, it's a way off. Like we said before, only three rooms left.

Get into it. It's going to be fun. We've already been very loosely talking about, okay, we've shows at night we've got live podcasts at night we've got you know some stand-ups some other bits and pieces some some ideas we're cooking up and then we're going to suggest you know during the day some stuff that we know would be fun people are always looking for you know restaurants or bars or activities or whatever we'll just make a list of chemists and what they sell like have a have a like a be in there early and suss out the like yeah the good chemist yeah yeah what who sells what or maybe a group we get them on a sponsorship deal we're like hey yeah we

can send a lot of people in here yeah there's like 150 of us going i know this chemist and just 150 people rock up this one that we know we can get Valiums and Viagras and fucking whatever you want. If we tapped the island out of Valium, that would be pretty impressive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's just, if I get there early or someone gets there early and finds out which one's a good one, because they don't all do it. No. You find a good one, and all of a sudden it's just everyone coming in with the same shirt on.

Yeah. What I would love is everyone at once. 150 people coming to the same chemist at once. That would be great. Line out the door. Like they're doing

some big sneaker drop or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just want to see what happens when... You tell them to get the shipment in overnight

and then people are like camped out on little deck chairs down the street. Yes. Yes. Yes. Now, that would be good. Yeah. The chemist opens at 10 and we organize so that everyone goes down and does a big line.

Yeah. A big, all the camping chairs and whatever. And then when the ding, ding, ding, the doors open, we just file in. I want to see how long it takes before the bloke in there shits his pants and goes, I shouldn't be selling this anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is trouble. Well, here's going to go to the pub. He's like, I'm going to go to the pub. He's like, I'm going to go to the pub. He's like, I'm going to go to the pub. He's like, I'm going to go to the pub. He's like, I'm going to go to the pub. He's like, I'm going to go to the pub. He's like, I'm going to go to the pub. He's like, I'm going to go to the pub. He's like, I'm going to go to the pub. He's like, I'm going to go to the pub. He's like, I'm going to go to the pub. He's like, I'm going to go to the pub. He shits his pants and goes, I shouldn't be selling this anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is trouble. Well, here's what I want to do.

We talked on the episode with Cam and Danielle about, I didn't know this place existed, but Pig Island. Yes. And we talked about taking a little excursion there. Yeah. You know what I want to do over there? What? And I don't quite know how the logistics of this would work, but I think the name is good

enough. Gig Pig Island. Yeah, yeah. That's good. That's good. There's something in Island. Yeah, yeah, that's good. That's good. There's something in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's worth, that's snappy enough

that it's worth kind of reverse engineering. Yeah, that's just a little island that just has like Nick Capper on it. Well, I want to get a little video of me.

I think at the very least. Something that somehow smells worse than pig island. Yeah, a video of me doing crowd work to the piggies. Oh, yeah. With a little set up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good. A little microphone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good worse than pig island. Yeah. A video of me doing crowd work to the piggies. Oh, yeah. With a little set up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little microphone. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's good. Riffing. What do you do, mate? Yeah. Yeah.

I can do that. I can handle that. Yeah. But that's a good example of something to do during the day. There is a little pig island. Pig island. Yeah. I've been watching some videos about how to how to how

to get there what's the best way of doing it it's a fucking like a half day trip if you do it the wrong way like more than a half day trip all right they get you down there it's like a there's a meal deal you get down there and they they give you this fucking package like you know like a a meal in a plastic container and stuff okay fuck this i'm not using a meal in th plastic container and stuff. It's like, fuck this. I'm not using a meal in Thailand eating out of a fucking plastic container. Yeah. I'll just bring some chips. I saw a travel vlog of like a,

I think they were like a British family going over to Pig Island. Oh, yeah. And the kids really seemed like they did not like it. Oh, really? Yeah. There's a lot. It's popping off online at the moment.

Popping off on YouTube, Pig Island. Oh, really? It felt like a bit of like the kid, them being over there and being like, yeah, what now? And it's like, oh, you just walk around and there's pigs here. Yeah. Oh, okay, great. That's kids with everything though.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, this thing. All right, what else? This morning, Blanket woke up. There was... Decorations. There was balloons on her...

As soon as she opened the door, there was a bunch of balloons. There was a big number five. There was a big number five. There was a big sticker that said happy birthday. You're playing mumbo number five. Yeah, yeah. She walks out here. There's a bunch of balloons on the wall. There's a big banner on there.

There's a present waiting for her. She came into the bedroom and went, yeah, I saw all this stuff. What else? It's fucking 705. Sorry that you've had all of that happen but i mean isn't that all of life you know if you've ever like if you buy something online that you've been really coveting and you're just like you're just watching the fucking tracking thing being like i can't wait for this to get here god my life this is just gonna make my life so much better yeah and then

you get it you open it up and you're like okay cool now it's here now i've got nothing in on the horizon to look forward to. When you were a kid, the day after your birthday, oh, devastating. A whole year now. Well, the end, I think more particularly like Christmas Day when you finished the last present. You opened the last present and you're just like, that's it. Yep. No more.

This is the last day because my birthday is august so then it's like a couple of months till christmas but then yeah end of christmas it was always like now there's a long eight month wait now i'm just yeah now i'm in the wasteland where you don't have any of those days where you just get given shit for absolutely no reason whatsoever yeah well she blanked this morning was like okay so what else i'm like well you've got a cake tonight it's in the fridge already for you she's like oh can i just have it now then like no you can't have that before cereal yeah oh what else can i have look you've got this is not the end of the birthday you've got we're gonna have a family birthday in a couple days we're gonna have a kid's birthday at a special like little place down the road or whatever yep there's heaps

more to come this is a birthday palooza. Mm-hmm. It's not a fucking festival of birthdays. Relax. Your whole fucking birthday is not cooked at 7.10. Mm. But still not enough.

No. You know what my advice to Blanket would be? Get cancer. Right. And then you have a birthday that goes for like two years. Right.

Okay. You just never stop being given shit if you're in a hospital bed. Yeah. I'll bring the microwave into the bedroom, sit next to her pillow.

Well, thanks, Toby Norval. Thanks, Toby. Oh, boy, we are stretching out here. Yes, that was a long one, even though it had really not much to do with you. No. Oh, Toby. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Matt Church.

Oh, no. I don't know about this. I believe strongly in the separation of church and content. Well, you know, instead of giving to the church, finally the church is giving back. We're finally getting some of the ill-gotten gains out of the church. It doesn't generally pan out too well when the church tries to give back. Well, some of the –

I appreciate the thought, but honestly, the way you've gone about this, could have done without that. It's such a shame that the church doesn't have to pay tax, but we're going to have to pay tax on this. What we're getting off the church. Yeah. The church. That would be great if this guy, Matt, that's his nickname, the church.

The church. Yeah, yeah. The church is here. Probably. Yeah. I think it should be. It should be that. Did you get married in a church?

Was that a little... I mean, I know I was there, but that little separate bit on the side, was that like a... It's called a chapel. A little chapel. Yeah. It is like done up as like a kind of pretty formal-ish kind of thing, isn't it? At that venue. There was three where we were married.

It was like a little location where there was, they gave us three options where we could get married. Okay. Out on the lawn, in the little chapel, or there was a very rustic shed. Oh, yeah. That was like an Instagrammer's wet dream. Yes.

With all the little bits of bullshit. And I went, I'm going to rank my preferences here. Outside, rustic shed and chapel in order of most to least wanted. And my wife said, none of that matters. We're doing it in the chapel. Yep. And so that's what happened. Okay.

Yep. Not great weather from memory. Yes. So probably a blessing to not be outside. That was the risk, I think, as well. Well, that was an excuse, given that we were always going to do what she wanted anyway, which is fine. Yep.

But yeah, it didn't rain, but it was overcast. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was overcast. Even just the threat of it. You don't want to be sitting there all morning being like, oh God, please hold out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was overcast yeah yeah yeah it was overcast even just the threat of it you don't want to be sitting there all morning being like oh god please hold out yeah yeah yeah yeah it was overcast did i ever say this although i would imagine if you were on the lawn and you got to the day and it's like really going to shit surely they can just yeah shuffle you in yeah surely

that's the backup yeah you'd think so um no no sorry we've got another wedding going at the exact same time yeah mere meters away from you in the chapel yeah dave o'neill's leaving your wedding to go to that wedding and then he's gonna leave that wedding to go to a gig that would be good um did i talk about that at the time because it was an overcast day and there was pictures outside um wedding wedding photos outside i the the person that we got to do it sent over that was a whole package deal of the photos and they were going to get the put it printed up in a book and i got them to send the photos to me yep and then i photoshopped them yep i talked about that you talked about getting into a huge argument with the photographer just crazy like an ongoing thing

yeah because it was an overcast day i just just wanted it to look like a nicer day. Yeah. And she's like, no. Your memory of this can't be that there were blue skies. Yeah, I don't want you gaslighting people that get a look at this photo on your little coffee table in years to come. You can't put that up on your wall

and have a memory forever where you were like, you know what? What a great day that was. Yeah. I want you to remember it was grey skies. Yeah. Insane. I was talking to someone about the, like a friend of mine who was,

used to be a photographer, was complaining about how like a friend invites you to their wedding and you're like, oh, great. And then it gets a bit closer and they're like, hey, since you're coming anyway, can you just bring the camera? I'll be down there. And they're like, it so turns it into like ask me to do the job yeah or invite me because it's like if you're taking the photos on the day you are working all day yes like you're not enjoying the wedding as a guest you don't get to get pissed yeah and i was talking to my friend who's a dj

about that i'm like you must have the same kind of thing happen and he's like no it's the opposite i hate being at a wedding where I'm not DJing. He's like, if you invite me to yours as a guest, I'm getting up there anyway. Like, that's good to know. That reminds me, I don't think we've mentioned this on this, but harking back to the Coastal Million International Podcast Festival 24, just for one second, we are going to – we've got someone filming and stuff this year.

Yeah. Like the first time. We put out a video on the socials. From before. From before. It's on youtube if you haven't watched it we do have it from the 2017 festival which is a fun watch um but we had someone film the whole thing and bits and pieces whatever like so we're doing that again yeah so that's going to be fun there's going to be a lot of that stuff for patreon subscribers and you know that sort of thing we're paying um you know money to for

a content creator to um to record all that stuff so that's gonna be that's gonna be fucking heaps of fun and that'll you're gonna get some pig island stuff off that that's for sure i'm surprised if more than half of it isn't pig island yeah yeah yeah well that's what i'm thinking about in terms of like yeah gig pig island i'm like there's a little video there you go there's a sketch yeah that's good um well thanks good. Well, thanks to the church. Thanks to the church. Despite me not really believing in what happens within you, I'm happy to take the funds that come out of you.

Yeah, absolutely. Not really my thing. But your money is now my thing. I won't be getting married in one of you. Yes. Like a lot of people in my family did get married in the church at the school that they went to in spite of hating the experience of being at that school

because that's just kind of what you did where are you going to get married then? I don't know what's something off the top of your head where you think would be would you be a beach goer? would you be a beach guy? would you be a

off the top of my head i would say what looks most likely is us just like eloping doing a like go to city hall yeah with our families yeah and then just like a bar like maybe that week have a little party that week pretty low key wednesday night maybe yeah yeah i don't know well the hard not to get too deep in the weeds but because my fiance's family a lot of them are in Perth, so it would be like if she wants her mum to be out here for when we do the actual paperwork thing. By the way, for people that don't realise,

Tommy's getting married to Andrew Wolfe. Yeah. So, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the only other person from Perth that you know. I could be getting married to John, for all you know. Yes. Tommy know. Yes. Tommy Live. Yeah.

Yeah, great. But I would assume that would maybe have to happen relatively close together because, yeah, my fiancé's mum coming over from Perth would want to be there for the actual thing happening. So, yeah, I don't know. Nice. I don't know. I think we uh we've

sort of said yeah let's just hang out and be engaged for a bit that'll be kind of nice to do and then i saw my mom the other week and she's like really on me like don't wait too long you know don't don't be one of these people that just has the wedding like a year or more later and in my head i'm like that is exactly what we are gonna do we we did it quick we were like fucking within six months i I think. Yeah. I'm pretty sure. But she'd waited 10 years for you to propose.

Yes. That is the case. That is a big part of it. But yeah, then I was like, all right, we got the skates on, let's do it. Also, that's why I ended up with a fucking photographer that wouldn't color the fucking clouds in. I mean, the weird thing is you spend a sizable chunk of your life single, dating, you know, in that kind of realm.

And then when you get married, hopefully, that's the plan is that it's for the rest of your life. Yes. And then it's weird that you have this window of being engaged that is just like this one pretty small window. Do you know what I mean? That like stacked up against is just this like very narrow little slice of your life. So it's kind of like, let's just this like very narrow little slice of your life. So it's kind of like, let's just enjoy being in this little window. Yeah.

Because then it's like you're out of it and then you're out of it forever. Yeah. It's nice. I didn't get to say fiance for that long. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that I'm not so hot on.

Yeah. I fucking hate the term fiance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds like shit, but anyway. Yeah, it's fine. Well, you keep saying it on this. You could say, you could still say. Well, I, but.

It's probably better than partner Exactly My options are Partner Girlfriend Untrue Yeah Or yeah It is true isn't it

Well like I don't know I guess she's still She's still I guess if you say girlfriend now It sounds like something's happened Exactly You've gone backwards

Well I'll tell you what I did do the other day I was in a shop And someone was like i was buying dog food and they were like do you have an account with us and we do but it's under her name and she wasn't there yep and so i just went straight to oh i think it's under my wife's name i was like stumbling over like girlfriend fiance and i was like you know what i'm just gonna fucking i'm just gonna go it. And I was like, you know what? I'm just going to fucking, I'm just going to go. You know, I was like, this is like a soft launch. Because it's like the person who works at the pet store doesn't fucking know anything. They're not going to be like, hang on a minute.

You're not married yet. I just went straight in. That's cool. So you're confident she's going to turn up. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

A bit cocky, but whatever. Yeah. Thanks, Matt. Thanks, the church. Thanks, the church. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Hmm. Thank you very much to Wick Eastley.

Wick Eastley. W-I-C-K-E-A-S-T-L-Y. That's the name of a person who listens to our show. Wick Eastley. Wick Eastley. Not that I have seen it or know anything about it, but my brain goes straight to the witches of Eastwick. Well, my brain goes straight to Rick Astley. Oh, yeah.

Like we're getting Wickrolled. Wickwalled. Yeah, I wonder. If the name on Patreon was hyperlinked and you clicked it and it went to the video clip of Never Gonna Give You Up yeah

that'd be pretty good with a speech impediment but an edit that they've made yeah yeah that would be good well I've looked up Wick Eastley on Facebook the only true way

of finding out about if someone exists and there is a blank account with no picture no details no nothing but the name Wick Eastley.

And in the details, lives in Cairns, Queensland, from Melbourne, Victoria, single. That's all we got in this guy. Interesting. I wonder if this is like a famous person's burner account. Oh, I'd like that. Timothy Chalamet's of the world want to do some DMing and interacting on the app. They can't use their real name. Might be Hugh Jackman's.

Yeah. Could be. Might be about to get married to this guy. I would love the idea that this person has only created a Facebook account because they know I'm about to Facebook to see if this is a real person or not. Yeah. They've just gone, you know what? I've listened before.

Instead of this bullshit, I'll put the fucking account up with the absolute basics just to say yes. That would be great, actually, if you had the details there, had the name, and all it says is one post. It says, yes, this is my real name, Carl. Yeah. That's it. But in the old school Facebook style. Yeah. Wick.

Wick is. Wick Eastley is. Is. Saying. Saying to Carl Chandler, yes, this is me. Yes. Wick Eastley. What a fucking name.

Yeah. I mean, look, let's be honest. Wick anything. What a fucking name. Wick. Everything is Wick. Yeah. There we go.

Yep. Does it happen? Huge. Yeah, there we go. Straight away. If I Google Wick Eastley, the first thing, did you mean Rick Astley? Oh, wow. Yeah.

Okay. I mean, it could be a big John Wick fan and wanting to pay tribute, but being like, well, if I just go John Eastley, no one's going to know that that's obviously a reference to John Wick. They'll be thinking it's a reference to Rove McManus. Google has got nothing on Wick Eastley. This cannot be this person's real name. But if not, why is this person supplying this name?

Maybe it is Hugh Jackman on a burner account. Yeah, I reckon this is it. My parents devastated about the split up. Oh, really? Yep. Oh, because they're invested. They're invested. Yeah, for long-time listeners, you'll know that there's not really a through line,

but there has been a mention. There's been several times where your dad knows him to say hello to. Yeah, so his mother-in-law was on the board of the Fight Cancer Foundation at the same time as my dad. And so through that, he... Same time as your dalliance with the... Yes, the dancer. With the dancer.

And not long after that, yeah, we went over to London when he was in a production of Oklahoma. This is like pre-X-Men and everything. When your dad was in the production? Yeah. Right, okay. Do you want to hear the story or not?

Kind of. And so, yeah, we went over there and hung out with him and Debra. Like, yeah, before him kind of breaking off and would see him at yeah functions for the fight cancer foundation and went to like the premiere of the x-men movies it was cool like knowing someone like as all this stuff was kind of happening but you know the tricky thing is because dad sort of knows him through the mother-in-law through deborah lee's mother

so now that the splits happen i think it's i think it's a bit of like, we got a side with Deb. Not knowing what's happened at all. We got to be team Debra. I mean, I went and saw Force of Nature, the dry two the other night. Did you? Yeah. Oh, she in that? Yeah.

Okay. She's like the main, yeah, she's in it more than Eric Banner, actually. Oh, that's good. And she's great in it. Yeah, great. Oh. She was on screen during the tennis final next to the mentalist Simon Baker. The Paps are having a field day.

Who's her rebound going to be? Well, yeah, Simon Baker. What a funny little Australian celebrity he is. The mentalist? Yeah. He's like, yeah, I guess he's, I guess, you know, it's like that person that you grow up with that then becomes famous and you go yeah but we know him as right that cunt on east street or

whatever he was yeah yeah yeah sure he's not that big yeah he's just fucking he was on neighbors for fucking two weeks or something i mean that you really basically have summed up what australia is it's a country of fucking jealous snotty little people from a primary school. You know, you can be Kylie Minogue, global pop superstar. Nah, here's a photo of you in an embarrassing prom dress on Neighbours. Yeah, mate. We know who you are. I remember when you used to be Simon Baker Denny, you know.

Oh, really? Yeah. When he was on shows here, his stage name was... Fuck, I'm looking at him up now. He actually used to be called both Simon Denny Baker and Simon Baker Denny. That's pretty cool. That's... He was born in Launceston. Huh.

What about that? Yeah, fuck, what was he on? Let's see. What's the dodgy, you know, because you always see Russell Crowe and anyone that's massive. Yeah, you're on fucking Skippy, though. You were on some shit show back in the day, as if that's not true of almost anyone big in showbiz.

There you go. Simon Baker was on. There you go. Simon Baker was on. There you go. He did the rounds. Look at this. He did E Street. He did a country practice. He did GP, if you remember that.

I don't. On the ABC. Weird, boring, you know, classic ABC 930 drama show. Who cares? Home and Away. Yep. Heartbreak High. Okay.

Boom. He did them all. Yep. He didn't. Okay. Boom. He did them all. Yep. He didn't do Neighbours. This kid's going somewhere. If you're tapped in the day, you're like, wow, next stop, Hollywood. He won Most Popular New Talent for E Street. Wow.

He won Most Popular New Talent for playing in Bruce Springsteen's band? Yeah, that's right. Oh, wait. I was thinking of someone different he's the guy from the sopranos right uh i don't know i don't know that's too dense for me okay i don't know the reference okay um someone in the e street band is in the sopranos is he yeah yeah really yep okay yep who is it? Steve. Little Steven. Again, I don't even know the Sopranos that well, so I don't know. But anyway, where were we?

Michael Wick. No, Wick Eastley. Wick Eastley. Wick Eastley. Wick Eastley could be... Hey, look, we've already established that Simon Baker likes to mix it up with what name he's going under. Yeah, yeah.

This could be Simon Baker. Yeah. This could be East Wickley. Yep. Let us know. Yeah. If you're someone famous using an alias on the Patreon, let us know. Yeah. This could be East Weekly. Yep. Let us know. Yeah. If you're someone famous using an alias on the Patreon, let us know. Wick Eastley, let us know what is going on in general.

It is my dream that we one day discover that some superstar listens to this podcast and we just have no idea. Well, remember that thing a couple of years ago where the famous Australian actress, who I can't remember the name of now, hit me up about it. What was her name again? I can't remember either. Peter someone. Yeah. P-E-T-A. Yeah.

And she was like on that, like some sort of renegade-y sort of show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then we found out that. That it wasn't her. Yeah. So I got in touch with actually her and she was like, no show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then we found out that... That it wasn't her. Yeah. So I got in touch with actually her and she was like, no idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or someone pretending to be her

that was working for her. That's right. Which was really weird. Yeah, they reached out from a different account wanting to advertise or something. Anyway, yeah. It was not a...

It wasn't a legitimate celeb that listens to the show. Yeah. It was someone working for her. But just doing that thing instead of saying, hey, as her publicist, it was them saying, hey, as this person. I'm a big fan.

Yeah. I love this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Thanks, Wick. Thanks, Wick. We'd love to know what's going on with you.

Matt, I'd love to know if you've ever been nicknamed The Church. And Lucy Kate, let us know if that's your last name. Toby Norville, I have no questions. Yeah, I don't care. Yeah. Do not contact us, please. you've ever been nicknamed the church and lucy kate let us know if that's your last name toby norval i have no questions yeah i don't care yeah do not contact us please let us know well no let us know don't waste our time yeah let us know if you've ever listened to uh the youtube video funniest radio prank of all time yes yes or let us know if you know anything about lucy kate matt church or week easley sure but don't tell us anything about yourself. Yeah. Great.

That's been four. Let's just do one more this week. We need to record a couple of other things, so we better get out of here. Yeah. Let's just do one more. Okay. Thank you to Patreon subscribers. Oh, okay.

Mm-hmm. Right. Okay. That's interesting. Wow. This is a treat. We've actually got something that maybe we've been requesting. Thank you very much to, I guess it's a sponsorship,

thank you very much to Patreon subscriber City of Comedy. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah, so that's a nice little, I guess we're being requested a little plug to visit the City of Comedy, guys. Yeah, I guess we could promote comedy for the first time on this podcast if the money's right. We could try our hands at it.

Yeah, I mean, look, guys, edit this out if you want. But, you know, there's a lot of dead bodies in the comedy river that runs through the middle of the thing. There's a lot of... Truly. Yeah. There's a lot of people pissing and shitting in that river all the time. Well, thanks, City of Comedy. Yeah. There are a lot of people pissing and shitting in that river. Yeah. All the time.

Well, thanks, City of Comedy. Yeah. What's the postcode there? 6969, I believe. Fantastic stuff. Very good. Thank you. Thank you, everyone that supports the show.

Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub. If you want to get on there, if you enjoy getting the show for free every week, we really appreciate everyone that chips in. And yeah, as a reminder, you get extra audio content delivered to you every week and you get the entire back catalogue. So get on there. LittleDumbDumbClub.com

for tickets to all the stuff that we have coming up. Thank you very much for listening and we will see you next time. See you, mates.