The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 698 - Greg Larsen & Mike Goldstein

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

This week we're joined by GREG LARSEN and MIKE GOLDSTEIN! Greg's had some issues lining up a delicious post-gig feast, Chandler's interrogating the canteen options at his gym, and we go on a riotous Ocean's Eleven-style journey with Greg Larsen as he pulls off the heist of the century on a major fast-food chain. Us so horny! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dum Dum Club, a brand new episode with guests Greg Larson and Mike Goldstein. This is your last chance. If you're in Adelaide, listen to this hot off the presses. There are a scant few, literally few, tickets left to come see us this Saturday. That's right. Come along and see that 700th episode and then we're straight into Melbourne live shows. Tommy D'Astelot. It's me and you plus more, believe it or not, if that is possible. That's even possible to have more than me and you plus more, believe it or not, if that is possible. That's even possible to have more than me and you. March 30, April 7, April 14, April 21, there are a couple of season passes left. They're going to be red hot shows.

Yeah, come check them out. LittleDumbDumbClub.com. We'll talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dumb Dumb. Until then, enjoy this brand new one with Greg Larson and Mike Goldstein. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow.

With me as always, the other half of the program, Carl. G'day, dickhead. And joining us today, two very special guests. Please welcome back into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Mike Goldstein and Greg Larson. Yay! Yes! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Welcome back, Moondogs. Yeah. Thank you for having me. Yeah. I was actually, I wanted to ask you both. Just us and not Mike? No, the three of us.

No, not Mike. Mike, please leave the room. Leave the room. Oh, you're going to ask them why are they still doing this? Yeah. What is this? Yeah. No, not Mike. Please leave the room. Oh, you're going to ask them why are they still doing this? What is this? No, good question. What is it? That's easy.

We've been asked this a lot. The big reason I wanted to come on today is because in two days from now, which this podcast probably won't be out in two days. It will not. But in two days from now, I'm going to have my first ever interview on commercial radio. Oh, okay. On Triple M Perth.

Yeah, okay. So like the drop in promoting something. Yeah, yeah. Like I'll be promoting my show. And it's Triple M. Yeah. What do I do? what show are you on? What part of the day are you on?

First question. Well, they're going to call me. It's like midday. So you're not going into the studio? No. I'm in Melbourne. Okay. Perth is far.

Okay. Is the Triple M team Ben and Liam and then some lady? Is that that? I don't know. It'll be two dudes and some lady. Yeah, it'll be like Steamboat and Fitzy. Fridgey and the Bear. And Lisa.

Steamboat. Steamboat and Fitzy's just a real guy. So he's moving over to Perth. I don't know if I've said this before, but you know Fitzy? Yeah. I know there's more than one Fitzy in this earth, but...

Ryan Fitzgerald, aka Fryzy from Big Brother. So I thought, for years, I thought he was hot dogs. Okay. And then someone was like, no,

that's not hot dogs, that's Fitzy. And I'm like, who's Fitzy? And they're like, that's Fitzy. And I'm like, well then who's fucking hot dogs?

Who's hot dogs? I don's fucking hot dogs who's hot dogs I don't know if I know who hot dogs is you know what this is a great yarn to tell on Triple A this is good stuff and I was thinking like maybe I could just lie to them and like prank them somehow if it is Fitzy just keep calling them hot dogs

thanks so much hot dogs even if it's not Fitzy and there's like three of them just call all of them hot dogs just anyone who speaks to you go great, hot dogs. Even if it's not Fitzy, and there's like three of them, just call all of them hot dogs. Just anyone who speaks to you, go, great question, hot dogs. Well, what's, you know, you're thinking some relatable stuff for your triple M, Melissa. What have you been doing lately? What, I mean, you love, you talk a lot about food. Have you got like a...

No, no, no, it's not what you've been done lately. If it's triple M, what's the miso done lately? What's the miso? Oh, my God. She's gotten up to some... The other day, I said to her, and this is true, actually. Yep. Okay, now I'm just telling you.

Okay. Wait. Are you hot dogs or Fitzy right now? This is me practicing talking to Fitzy, but this is a true story. Okay. You can just still be talking to us. Yeah. I'm talking to you.

Can I throw in fart noises and boy oil? Absolutely. Please do. You give us the real... Hang on, is that part of Triple M or our show? You give us the real story and we'll kind of try and Triple M-ify it. No, no, no. I want to hear the story.

I'll give you the real story and I'll do it through the medium of reading our text messages. Great, always good. With my partner, my miso, as she's often referred to. A miso horny. That's what they'll take out of it. A miso horny. That, yeah. That is not what Triple M does, but they should.

You're making fun of them, but they don't do that. But that would be good. If you were listening, if you were on the work site or at some other site and you were listening to Triple M and after every song you heard, me so horny, you'd go, yeah, man. Station rules. Fucking rules. I'd be walking around with a stiffy all day. You wouldn't know what to do.

Can you add some into this show, Tommy? Yeah, I'll drop a couple in. You know those promotions that they'll have on commercial radio where they're like, if you hear the same song twice in one day and you catch it and ring in, you get whatever, $5,000.

They should have like, when you hear the 50th Miso Horny of the afternoon, give us a call, tell us how horny you are,

and you'll get 10K in the skyrocket. Yeah, just really rewarding all the autistic listeners who are sitting there writing down

the amount of times. That's what I always thought about the hearing the Saints on twice a day. 39 Mr. Hornies. That's the funny thing to me. And you get a free flight on Virgin. No, gotta be Kiwanis.

I think it's funny how those commercial radio they'll advertise a no repeat workday. They'll be like, we're not even going to repeat the same song once in an eight hour period. I'm like, that's a pretty low bar. Yeah. How many songs exist in the world? Every single one of my playlists on Spotify goes for like 48 hours. I've got multiple. There's a lot of songs.

I reckon just if I just got my old CDs, that would go for three days. Yeah, yeah. If you got one best of CD, that's more than the playlist on a radio station for a whole day. Yeah. If you went, we're only playing songs that came out in the last month

and there's going to be no repeats, then that's interesting. Yeah. Because you're going to have to start digging into some obscure shit. If you said, we're only going to play Queen's greatest hits today, that's a no repeatrepeat day.

You can just play that and there's no repeat. That's because they're going to have ads. They're going to have the me so horny. That's eating up. If they put that in, that's eating up easily like seven minutes of air time a day. That's one of Queen's greatest hits. It's me so, me so horny. Oh, yeah.

We are so horny. More of the Prince. We are so horny. Oh, yeah. We are so horny. More of the presenters doing parodies of the songs that have just been on as well. Coming off the back of My Happiness by Powderfinger. More like My Hard Penis. Sorry, but can someone make a remix of... Sorry, but can someone make a remix of... Me so, me so horny. Yeah, this is good.

This is good. Another one, me so horny. Another one, me So Horny. So what's this act called? Weird Fitzy? Bohemian Me So Horny Rhapsody. I'm really forcing it now. Fat Bottom Girls, Me So Horny. Me So Horny with those Fat Bottom Girls.

Another one, Another Horny Is So Me. Wow, it those fat bottom girls. Another horny is so me. Yep. Wow, it just fits into everything. Wait. Me. Ah. So horny. Mama.

Me so horny. Me so horny. This is good content. All content Alright so let me tell you Your wishes are like this Scaramouche, Scaramouche Can you make Misa Horney Before it was just Queen song titles

Now it's every lyric of every song Turns into Misa Horney It's going to be a long episode And no one will tune out It's like in Being John Malk. And no one will tune out. It's like in Being John Malkovich when he's in his own head and everyone's just going, Malkovich, Malkovich.

It's that, but with Me So Horny and the catalogue of Queen. Get it? Now, I mean, look, I want to hear the story, but clearly,

we've got your talking point for going on Triple M. But also, I like how we've gone from making fun of, oh, imagine what you'd have to talk about on Triple M. They'd probably be like this. And then we've gone from making fun of, oh, imagine what you'd have to talk about on Triple M. They'd probably be like this.

And then we've done 20 times worse and we love it. And we're, I mean, we don't even have the excuse of like, if you're a presenter on commercial radio, you're like, ah, the bosses are breathing down my neck. They don't know fucking anything. It's like, we can do whatever we want and we've chosen to do this. We've now turned ourselves into something that's actually really hard to parody. Exactly.

We're trying to parody Triple M. If someone tried to make this sound worse, fucking good luck. Yeah. I mean, that's the secret, isn't it? I reckon you could just get some real nerdy-looking dudes in a room, just like, oh, me so horny. Just make us sound even stupider, just our voice. Yeah, voice modulation. That's the only way you can make it sound like stupider. Just our voice. Yeah.

Yeah, voice modulation. That's the only way you can make it sound like a body roll. Good luck, everyone. Do your best. So horny. Ah, now they sound silly. So text exchange with the Miss O. Text exchange with the Miss O. Check this out.

So I was doing your gig, Carl. Yes. And this is why I had to leave. I left immediately. I didn't stick around after my set. yes and this is why I had to I left immediately I didn't stick around after my set oh that's why I asked you today the only way in I said

how did you go because I didn't see you you left immediately which is usually the sign of someone not going well no I did I did do quite well right

I did do quite well good to know and I pass on the message tell Carl thank you oh I did not the message was not received oh it was not received

okay interesting so basically did you say tell Carl thank you to did not message was not received okay interesting so basically what did you say tell Carl thank you to I talked to the chef

Sonia Sonia D'Orio Sonia D'Orio interesting wasn't related it was in the presence of Ray O'Leary but I didn't

specifically tell him to tell me but that's smart you get a witness yeah let me text Ray yeah get him on the pod

now can we can we stop and get him on the pod now can we stop and get him so you don't get mad at Sonia you just get mad directly at Ray why didn't you remind Sonia to say thank you from Greg for his spot so I've already this is not even

close to as good as Me So Horny but what is we picked already. It's not good. But we were bitching before the show. That was great. It was Me So Horny. That's been great.

I'm just watching the clock from now on. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, this is a good clock watching bit. So this is the text exchange between me and my partner last night. You Triple M listeners, tell me if the triple M listeners will love this. This is miso. This is trouble with the miso.

Play some like air horn sounds. The miso's been texting. Before I left, I said, I'm going to have those chicken tenders for dinner. I said, maybe I can like text you when I'm just about to leave the gig and you can chuck them in the oven.

So they'll be ready when I get there. I don't want them to be all hard and cold and whatever. You also don't want to be getting home at 10pm, sitting around with your fucking thumb up your ass for half an hour. Waiting for these fucking chicken tenders. So at 10 to 10, she texts me going, want me to put the chicken in yet? And I said, no, I'm like 10 minutes. No, in like 10 minutes if you could.

You haven't gone on yet when she's texted that? No. And then I said, maybe 15. Yep. And she said, yep. And then I said, they will probably be ready before I get back. About to go on right now. Just leave them in the oven, but turn it off when they are done.

She said, oh, I won't be up to turn them off. I was about to say, this is now the time where you're keeping her, she's got a job, you're keeping her out of bed

on a fucking tender patrol. Also, mansplaining the oven is like the ultimate, the ultimate mansplaining. Don't just leave them in there with it on because then they'll burn.

Yeah, but like what I was – no. This is the argument I have with her all the time. Explaining is not mansplaining. There's a difference. Or what? So just because I'm a man, that means it's mansplaining? Yeah, every time I explain anything, suddenly I'm mansplaining. No.

And also disagreeing with someone is not gaslighting. When you disagree about a fact or an opinion, that's not gaslighting. No, I agree with that. You're mansplaining, mansplaining. Yeah, I'm mansplaining, mansplaining. I'm mansplaining, gaslighting. No, I was trying to just say I don't want them to be all like overcooked and I thought that she might just leave them on and think,

oh, yeah, that's plenty of time. Greg's going to be home in five minutes, I can go to bed. Yeah, I was trying to explain that I still will be a while. And she said, oh, I won't be up to turn them off. I will just let you do it. Sorry, I need to go to sleep now. Please, please Greg,

let me go to sleep. I'm begging you. I need to go to sleep now. Your partner's a primary school teacher, she just needs to get up to teach the future of mankind. And she's like falling asleep on the desk because she's been up heating up fucking chicken nuggies or whatever. She needs to get up early today to teach men how to fucking cook dinner for themselves.

And I bet you're cleaning up the text because you guys have been together forever, right? I don't know if that's verbatim or it's more like Gaggy needs tendies. No, that is actually verbatim. Okay. So you're leaving the gig. So she's like, no, I'm like, turn it off when they're done. She goes, oh, I won't be up to turn them off.

I'll just let you do it. Sorry, I need to go to sleep now. Yeah. And now as I'm reading it, I think I've misinterpreted. Oh, here we go. What she said, because she said, I will just go to sleep now. Yeah. And then I, so, and now as I'm reading it, I think I've misinterpreted. Oh, here we go. What she said, because she said, I will just let you do it. I thought she meant, I will just let you turn them off. Oh no.

I think she meant like, I'll just let you cook. You can just, look, I'll turn the oven on. So at the very least it's preheated when you get in. So you don't, not having to do that step. It's going to be hot and ready to go. Yeah. You just chuck them in. And I thought that the tendies were already in at this point.

And she's like, I'll just let you do it. I'll let you turn them on. Are you planning to have a side with these tendies or just raw dog tendies? Well, I was going to have them on like a sandwich. Okay, nice. A tendie sandwich. It was nice of you to not request that your partner

butter the fucking bread. All ready for you to go. Cut the crust off. First of all, I don't butter bread. Also, and I want to point out, I do like 99% of the cooking in the house. I do all the cooking. This is one request. When she's on the pod, we'll find out all the other stories, I guess.

What brand of tendies, by the way, may I ask? Ingham. Yeah, nice. Thought so. Ingham tendies. And so she said, sorry, I need to go to sleep now. And I said, well, can you just turn them off now? They will be burned.

And then a new text, the MC is still going. So I'm like, I'm still waiting to go on. And you're trying to get your new material in your head and you're sweating. You're just picturing smoke billowing out of these. I've got this whole bit about Australia Day and colonialism. And I'm like, where's these fucking... And all of a sudden you're going on like thinking, fucking Arj Barker has wrecked my dinner.

Yeah. Someone's gone too long. Yeah. And then, so I said, the MC is still going. And then she said, I haven't put them in. And I say, okay, leave it. Cheers. Yeah.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers to your partner that's so sick I say cheers all the time that's great is that bad you're only two days out

from Valentine's Day so you're in the mood that's bad cheers cheers is like a thanks mate to your partner yes exactly yeah that's no good

good on your weapon good one champ you've forgotten my name haven't you Just her getting off Off the top of you After sex Thanks mate

Thanks for that Cheers Cheers Good one Cheers Cheers chief And then she takes it back When I was in the car

I just put them in the oven At 160 degrees It says 35 minutes At 200 They should be okay. Okay, we're going. We're getting out the slow cooker for these tendies. Yeah, and that was the last text exchange.

That was when I was already in the car, and I was like, okay, that'll be okay. I get home. No tendies in the oven. No tendies in the oven. There's two chicken Kievs. Oh, wow. I'd bought tendies and chicken Kiev's.

She bloody got them mixed up. She got them mixed up. Okay. I bet that plan to go to bed early, that's out the window because you're waking her up. I was like, what the fuck? Holding the Kiev in her face.

What the fuck do you call this? It's a big fucking tender. Drizzling the fucking garlic butter over her. And there were the ones that had the little bone in them. Oh, yeah. They have a little bone. So no sandwich. No, I just took the bone out and I had two chicken Kiev sandwiches.

Is that a cool way to have a meal? 10.30pm at night. Yeah, 11 o'clock at night. Yeah, and I watched. I had two chicken Kiev sandwiches. Also, by the way, you turned up to the gig at about 9 o'clock. Why didn't you just have dinner before the gig? That's a great question.

I don't ever have dinner before a gig. Really? Never. Never. You shit your ass if you do. Yeah, I shit out my ass. Because I eat and 30 seconds later I do shits for an hour. Yeah, okay.

No. What about the idea of just maybe get a little, treat yourself to a little takeaway on the way home after the gig? I normally would do that and I've been trying to like be better budget.

Okay. Yeah. Like too much takeaway. Yeah. It's like when I, at first, when I first started doing comedy, I'm like,

oh yeah, I'll have a few beers. You know, I can treat myself to a few beers at a comedy show. Yeah. And then you're doing like multiple gigs a week

and then you're like, fuck. I'm just drunk all the time. Yeah, I'm just drunk then you're doing multiple gigs a week and then you're like, fuck. I'm just drunk all the time. Yeah, I'm just drunk all the time. So was she fast asleep when you got home? No, she was still awake on her phone. Oh, what? Okay, well, that's the bit.

Now, that's the top of the story. I'm back on Team Gigi now. That doesn't make any sense. And I was like, you put bloody chicken Kievs. And she's like, I don't know. Did you buy tendies and Kievs? And I went, yeah, they were on special budget. What did she have for dinner?

We're making money at that point. She had like a cheese and tomato toasty. Oh, okay. That's all right. See, why aren't you making yourself one of them? That's easy. Well, I was nearly going to do that. And then I thought, you know what?

I feel it's a tendie kind of night. Yeah. It's a tendie kind of night. I'm just imagining you're on Triple M, and the segment's gone for 15 minutes they're like great come on man

we've got to wrap this story up they're trying to find a place to put Miso Horny yeah yeah yeah it's only when it's okay hang on

your partner's in bed Miso Horny no no no I yelled at her because the wrong chicken was in the oven wah wah wah wah and it's only when he goes

I can't eat before a gig huge fart noise oh yeah there we go that's good no but like do you eat before gigs, I can't eat before a gig, huge fart noise. That's good. Do you eat before gigs? Yeah, I don't care at all. I don't like to feel full on stage. No, I couldn't get like that. I used to not want to, but too many occurrences like this is what you sign yourself up to.

The nightmare of trying to get dinner ready at 10pm. No thanks. I could eat on stage. I could eat before and on. It wouldn't worry me. I'd love 10pm no thanks I could eat on stage I could eat before and on it wouldn't worry me I'd love to do a show where I eat on stage I've eaten on stage I've eaten on stage many times

when we're doing like when we did like the grub when we did live shows I'd always find a reason to have a sketch where the character eats KFC and I wouldn't tell Ben and Edo, and I'd just be like, I've written this sketch, can you...

And I'd print it out and give it to them, and then they'd read it out, and then it's like, are you eating KFC? And I'm like, yep. And then I'd be like, it's eating KFC. And then just eat it on stage.

See, we was out last night at Spleen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You could have... They've got toasties in the back. You could have just done some stand-up about toasties and then grabbed some and gone, sorry,

it's part of the show. You are very close to a chef preparing toasties back there, right? Like you're right next to each other. And there's all these open micers just nervously fucking farting around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's tight. The green room is a kitchen and you're sitting there next to someone preparing food. Yeah.

And you've got a lot of unwashed open mic standing around there. And you're all like dipping your hands in and like taking little bits of cheese and stuff secretly so no one notices. I don't know about that bit. Just to tide you over. Is everyone not doing that? KF sandwich.

Is everyone not raiding the fridge and just taking a little bit of everything? Deconstructed. This might be the thing between you, Mike, and Greg here That you might relate To each bit of it So the gym The gym I go to right

I've kind of I've kind of started to think I don't know about this Gym A little bit Because They already started to sell Drumsticks

Like ice cream drumsticks Right So that's It's a gym And they sell drumsticks That's a Like you say Ice cream drumsticks Like I love the idea of just Selling loose Chicken drumsticks. Right. So it's a gym and they sell drumsticks. You say ice cream

drumsticks, like I love the idea of just selling loose chicken drumsticks. Do you want a drumstick? Yeah. I would. Yeah, it doesn't

need to be in a pack. It's got a bone. You can just walk and drink. Have you seen anyone like on an elliptical just fucking hoeing down

on a drumstick? No, no, not mid-workout. No, I haven't seen anyone doing sit-ups to have a lick of the ice cream. A little treat at the end. If you know it's right there. I mean, often I'll be at the gym

and I'm thinking like, I'm just going to absolutely fucking pig out for dinner after this. It is, you know, it's motivational. Or is it like the move of, you own the tattoo parlor and you also own the tattoo removal place. You know, you're getting both sides of the equation.

So I sort of, I could cop that. They had like, because they had drumsticks in there with icy poles and stuff and you go, okay, I guess it's on a, you know,

on a sunny day and whatever that's just sort of what happens or whatever. But then, they've brought in the new item which has raised the hackles which is, they now,

and they are absolutely very fond of advertising this. It's on, you know those advertising stations where it's like they rotate the electronic ad? So this is every second ad. A screen. A screen, yes.

Do you know like how shops have those? The magic lights that come out and the man-telling. It's some kind of microfiche technology. It's like a poster that's plugged into the wall, you know? One of those ones. You know that little box that's in your house and little people are in it doing a play for you? Yeah the wall, you know? One of those ones. You know that little box that's in your house and little people are in it doing a play for you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

One of them. It's talking to me. They say Carl. Oh, no, that's the phone. Sorry, I got it mixed up. Carl's seen the ad for the drumstick come up. Ah, it's coming towards me. The drumstick's going to run me over.

So they've now got, forget about that, they've got the ad, every second ad. This gym says, we now have hot chips. Okay. Hot chips. Yeah. Have you ever fucking heard of a gym that sells hot chips? They've got someone on the fucking deep fryer at the gym. I've got to ask, is this a gym gym?

Connected to something. is it is it like a full aquatic center maybe yes yeah see that's the thing because there's there's also people that just go there for leisure oh okay all right there's leisure activity but is all is the hot chips and the ice creams is it part of the actual gym area or is there like a kiosk it's in the big it's in the wider leisure center area. It's next to where you go through to work out. Right. It's right next door to it.

It's not outside. It's not anything like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The story is like just you saying this is an unrelated shop 100 meters down the road. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you fucking believe this? Is your gym the playground at a McDonald's?

That's good i do like the idea that it's like yeah the like the ice cream place that'll just have like hot chocolate on the menu for in winter you know people aren't buying ice cream you gotta gotta have something to get people and just being like if it's too hot to work out at least we'll get them eating some hot chips i forgot the one in between where they went because this is a really big deal where they've really been pushing

we have hot chips now so the one in between the drumsticks and the hot chips is the one for the campaign where they went we now have

cheese sandwiches yeah okay alright god I mean A that it's a gym saying guess what we have cheese sandwiches

but talk about the most plain thing in the world that you could possibly say, hey, we had this for sale. This is a big deal. Check this out. Can I clarify?

They didn't say we have cheese toasties. No. They said we have cheese sandwiches. Cold cheese sandwiches. Cold cheese sandwiches. I mean, Greg, you could swing past here on the way back from gigs from now on. Do they have tendies? No.

Do they have tendies? Yeah. They don't. I mean, if you go to Deep Fry, if you're chucking the hot chips in there, throw some tendies in. That's worth an electronic sign, chicken tenders. But all the rest, no. Do they have tendies? Yeah. I mean, if you go to Deep Fry, if you're chucking the hot chips in there. Yeah. That's worth an electronic sign, chicken tenders. But all the rest, no, no. And have you been tempted to just like, yeah, get a bag of hot chips while you're, you know, pumping iron?

No, no. Because once you go in there, I always feel like it, I could go in there and work out and eat something and go in there and work out. But I couldn't work out and then eat after that. Right. I feel ill after that. Yeah. Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, again, there's no way I could eat and then work out. Right. Wait, do you take in a big meal and then just work out immediately? I have done. I think I've talked about it on the show before. I did eat a full box of chocolate chip biscuits once and then worked out and then I spewed. Yeah, really?

Even food within like three hours of the gym is too much for me. Really? That's like I'm feeling it rattling around. I can definitely eat it like after the gym. Oh, man. Yeah, because you feel like you've earned it. Oh, I feel ill. I used to go to Virgin in the city

and right near it was like a hot pot place. I never went there, but that to me is like the perfect go to a gym workout and then have hot pot, like veggies and meat. Virgin hot pot. Me, me, me, me, me. It's so hot in here. Greg, you just

reminded me that we went to a hot pot place two years ago now or something and the waitress had to stop you from drinking

boiling hot oil. She had to run across and grab it out of your hand. That's like how you read about someone dying in medieval times. Man, I could know someone on the Darwin list.

Big gag. What was funny about it too is because I had not had that much hot pot experience at the time. Yeah. And I remember everyone else there had had zero hot pot experience at the time. Yeah. And I remember like everyone else there had had zero hot pot experience, I think. Yeah. And so everyone was like looking to me to lead this. Right. This group.

You look like you're a hot potter. Yeah. I'm like, I'm into hot pot. And then I was like, oh, you know, the best thing is you drink the soup, you know, at the end, like after you've been cooking all this stuff. And then I got a ladle and then I filled up like a thing of like- A glass. It's bubbling.

It's fucking bubbling. Yeah, it's bubbling. It's bubbling. The ladle's like melted. And then she comes right up going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's oil. It's oil. Ah, Michel Burnie.

It's oil. I's oil. Ah, Michel Burnie. It's oil. I thought it was a soup. I thought it was like stock and soup. Mr. O'Reilly's really gone method here. He's really getting deep into it. But it was like she was eyeballing him the whole time. She was like, if anyone's going to drink boiling oil. I remember reading something about ramen,

how it's a sign of ultimate respect to pick up the bowl and just slurp the soup out of the end of it. And I do that regularly here. And when I've been in Japan having ramen and then I just realized I'm like, I can't even remember where I've read that. I have absolutely no idea if that's a verified thing or not. Or like, you know, in my head, I'm like eyeballing the chef being like, good work, brother. And me thinking he's gone like, oh, wow, what a... But he might be there going like,

this fucking pig, is he for real? I've got to verify whether this is a real thing or not. That's what I do in Bangkok now because I got in my head years ago that was like, oh, yeah, you can open carry there. You can drink. It's legal just to drink down the street. You can do whatever.

And that last time I went, I was like, I've talked about it before, but I dress like shit. I dress like I'm on the beach, but you're in the central business district. And I'm just like fucking slamming down fucking bottles of Cigar. And me going, yeah, you're allowed to do it. And then I literally got to a pub and went, I don't reckon I've seen anyone drink on the street all day.

And then I looked it up and went, no, that's not like a thing. That's a thing that they say tourists do and you really shouldn't do it. But most of the time they'll let you get away with it yeah you're not like a lot of things over there

you're not gonna get in trouble for it but it's technically you're not meant to yeah I'm just like one of these fucking idiots that walks down

you know bridge road and just dresses like shit and then drinks like the cops aren't gonna get called for it but everyone's

gonna look at you and go what a fucking loser yeah I'll do it I'll do it every now and then when I'm walking the dog if it's a nice day. Take a little can of beer down to the park with me

because all craft beers now they all look like fizzy drinks because they've all got these silly little cartoon labels so it's very easy to just pass it off as a... Oh man, we were saying

like in lockdown I was like I was big pushing big open carry like in lockdown just... Isn't open carry the term for having a gun on you?

I'm a big open carry. yes chandler's got holsters with two singers yeah yes i love it during lockdown on your hour of exercise you should have been you should have been able to do whatever you want like you're only got an hour so you're allowed to go out and drink piss and do what the fuck you want like you know that's i mean that lovely thing of looking back in hindsight when everyone's brains are getting a little bit fried in lockdown and whatever, I made up my own rule where, no, you're allowed to bring a beer along with you when you're walking around,

which then turned into me putting a slab into a backpack and then walking until all of the slab was gone and not knowing where the fuck I was. Maybe it was mentally the idea that they've brought in all these new rules that didn't previously exist. So it's only fair, one in, one out, that a couple of other rules that do exist

get kind of shuffled off the plate. See, I kind of feel like I've had that attitude. I kind of feel like you in Thailand with me in Melbourne, this whole time I've lived in Melbourne, I've basically thought, oh yeah, Melbourne is like, they don't give a fuck you came from brisbane so you think melbourne's a third world country no no no no it's well yeah but no because in brisbane it's psycho like you'll remember that like brisbane is psycho like if you go into a bar there's a machine where you have to

put your id in and it goes and then they take a photo of you and they give you like a plastic sippy cup and they're like you know you can only order one drink at a time all that kind of shit I couldn't get in somewhere because I didn't have my ID on me

I was like my brother get a look at me that was that was the like we went to yeah it was like a couple years ago he looks like he does now

like like fucking and I was like man look at me I promise you i'm overage and he's like no it's because we need your id on file so that if and when you start a fight the cops are able to find you and it's like what a wonderful establishment you're running here and this i fucking man at first i was like not on the bouncer's side but i was like he doesn't make the law like there is a law. Like, you know, whatever.

But then, yeah, Tommy goes away, gets his ID, comes back. It's like, what, like two days expired or something? Yeah, it expired and I hadn't realised, yeah. And then he was like, you can't get in. And then I went up to the bar and I was like... Which is great because it's like, he's not planning on driving his car inside this pub. Yeah. And you don't need your licence.

But also, this wasn't even like a pub It wasn't like a rough joint This was like a Fairly nice whiskey bar It was the middle of the week There was no one else in there Not the valley Okay

Hardly anyone else was in there The business men This was like in the In the business district Kind of area It's like a nice Like the waiters Are all wearing vests

And like bow ties And shit There's like High end whiskeys in there. I went, oh, can I get a whiskey and a beer? And they're like, we can't give you two drinks at once. And I went, okay, I'll have a whiskey. And then I bought it and they went, now I'll have a beer. Wow.

And that worked? Yeah. Right. And then I was like, where's the toilet? And they're like, oh, it's outside. You can't have Neapolitan ice cream. Yeah. Just one at a time. I went outside., where's the toilet? And they're like, oh, it's outside. You can't have Neapolitan ice cream. Just one at a time. I went outside.

I went to the toilet. When I came back in, the bouncer, who we'd had this whole back and forth with multiple times, we're the only people in there. He knows who I am. He's like, sorry, mate, I've just got to check the stamp. And I had just walked past him and said, where's the toilet? He walked me all the way to the toilet i pissed it was 10 seconds and then he goes just gotta check your stamp mate i'm sorry he walked

you to the toilet he walked me all the way i was like where is it and he like walked me there i'm like i could got i can't get there myself and he's like no supervision like and then and then he checked my stamp i was like you fucking you fucking dog. And then I remember when I first came to Melbourne, I remember we were at some bar somewhere. It was during Comedy Festival. And they didn't have a license outside past midnight or something. So the bar staff were just going, oh, yeah, just have it in a coffee. Have your beer in a coffee cup.

Yep. And it's fine. Right. And I was like, oh, Melbourne is. This is Melbourne. Melbourne is like Europe. I get you. Melbourne's Europe., Melbourne is... This is Melbourne. Melbourne is like Europe. I get you. Melbourne's Europe.

You're allowed to just do whatever. You can do whatever. You can drink boiling oil. What's crazy too is like, you know why I thought you could drink boiling oil? Because the last hot pot I went to, I drank some of the boiling oil.

Like I just did. And no one told me to stop at the other one so I was in the hot pot you had to eat the tendies raw so you were hoping the oil would just

cook them inside your eye it's funny because that's you know what that's going to wipe my memory of one time when I like

ate like a end of like a like a prawn ate the bit of the prawn you're not supposed to eat the anus yeah and I was like oh my god

this is what a fucking idiot but now I know someone who drank the oil out of a hot pot, so I'm fine. And I've eaten the prawn tails as well. And so hang on, you've tried to do the hot pot oil drink when you were with Mike. You'd done it previously.

So that says to me, you loved the oil. It was so good. It was like a delicious soup. Was it the oil the first time or was it some broth to the side? Because it cooks it in the middle, that shit that you took. Was this when you were in the bathroom with the bouncer? Were you drinking in the toilet? Yeah, I was drinking the oil in the toilets.

I don't know, man. The last few years have been a blast. I don't know what the fuck. Lockdown, we all lost our minds a little bit, didn't we? We all drank the boiling oil. Actually, now I come to think of it, my backpack was full of boiling oil and I was walking around drinking it. I had a straw in my backpack

and I was just sucking it down. Boiling oil feels beautiful to say. It's such a phonetically nice phrase. It's a really good name for like a death metal band. Boiling oil. I want to start a death metal band now. Boiling oil. And want to start a death metal band now.

Boiling oil. Boiling oil. And you do covers of Midnight Oil songs. Yeah. Boiling oil. Crank the temperature up. Hey, mates. It's your pals, Tommy and Carl, dropping in, interrupting Tommy and Carl from the past

to give you a little... From before. To give you a little update about some shows that we are doing. That's right. Hey, you heard most of it. But Adelaide, very soon, whether it's even worth mentioning, here it is. You love a last-minute ticket, Adelaide, so get along to that this Saturday if that's the right time that you're listening to it in.

Otherwise, Melbourne, we have four live shows that we'd love to see you down. Packed into Basement Comedy Club, smaller capacity, every Saturday at the Comedy Festival. So that's March 30, April 7, April 14, April 21. They're going to be rippers. Awesome guests for everything, really. And then, of course, Koh Samui Podcast Festival International, sorry. And that is June 9 to 14.

And that is heaps of live shows, heaps of beach, heaps of babes, international, sorry. That is June 9 to 14. And that is heaps of live shows, heaps of beach, heaps of babes, heaps of great food and drink and fun and all that sort of shit. I cannot wait. Tommy, you won't be surprised to hear. And yeah, there is still a little bit of room.

Yeah, littledumbdumbclub.com. Get onto that. Get your tickets. We'll see you out there somewhere in the big wide world, as long as it's either Adelaide, Melbourne or Koh Samui. And now, on with the show. Well, Greg, you were in – you did a little part in my stand-up special

that I filmed at the end of last year. Yeah. And just before the special – just before the recording started, we lived, I i think every comedian's worst nightmare it was you me uh josh earl ben vanell and our friend callum we were sitting in the green room and we're you know we're all just palling out we're all just chatting away and uh someone who was working in the studio where the taping was going to happen comes in like opens the door to the green room and goes,

guys, that cordless mic that's just there, that's on. So we've been able to hear everything you're saying in the studio. And you look around and you just see this second of all of us just wide as a sheet thinking this is it. Our lives are over. Just going through the black box. Yeah. And then we all... Think about all the stuff we said

right before this podcast. We always talk shit about everyone all the time. Imagining the worst scenarios for things and the worst heinous things you can say. We probably did 30 minutes about how one comedian we know in particular is a fucking idiot.

That was half an hour before we started. Because what we do on here is for an audience. Yes. And you're around this all the time. Yes. So the way to make other comedians laugh is with the worst fucking shit imaginable. So we're all sitting there. We're thinking like, oh, my God.

We're all, we're done. This is it. So who was hearing the audio? The audience. Oh, what through to the. The audience had just started coming in or about to come in. There were people in there and the whole crew

because there was a whole bunch of people there. But yeah, there was an audience in there. Pipe through to the audience. That's bizarre. Because it was a cordless mic that was going to be used for the show. And we'd been rehearsing with it and then just taken it like into the green room because it was the mic that Greg was going to bring on with him for his bit.

How long had you been sitting in there with the hot mic? Oh, like 15 minutes, 10, 15 minutes. You were doing a lot of like, you know, stuff about how you can just go out into the audience and grab any female audience member on the pussy. Yeah. You're doing all that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, so we all panic. There's like a second where we all go, our lives, we're fucking all going to have to go

into witness protection. We're really fucked here. And then we all realised that what we'd been talking about was that we all wished that there was just like a G-rated version of Jackass so that we could show our wives and kids all the funny bits. And we were like, oh, this is actually, we're fine. What are the odds that we would be sitting having

the most fucking wholesome G-rated conversation that's being beamed out to the root? Just going like, I'll get all the drinking the cum stuff out of there and just have the silly Buster Keaton beer. Your automatic response, I think, would be, no, all that sort of stuff, it's sort of ironic. What we say is ironic, okay?

I know we said it non-stop for half an hour but that's irony. I almost wanted to go out there and say trust me, even before that we were talking shit about so many people. Before that we were saying we want there to be an even more hardcore version of Jackass where they're all blacked up while they're doing it.

So the audience would have thought, what, it was part of the show? I don't know maybe just like some vocal sample over the house music that was playing as people were walking in but it was george ell specifically going like i really want to show it to my kids you know there's like some funny silly stuff in there but i just don't want to see them i just don't want them to see a man drinking pigs come you know i just yeah we were just saying like get into that if you got all of them you could edit together like there's plenty of there's plenty of bits in Jackass

that are fine and you could edit them all together yeah it'd be great the G rated edit yeah why don't they do that everyone can enjoy that

knock knock knock guys the mic's live oh god everyone in the audience thinks we're the biggest fucking losers of all time but they also let it go for 15 minutes

where they could have told you they were waiting yeah they were like they're never getting off this topic this is so boring

this is so boring we're not going to get any juice out of this this is warming down the audience and now that you've said that too that's what would have happened the mic never got turned back on because when I first came out in your show

yeah then we had to redo Greg's bit again because his mic wasn't on oh great so I came out and the mic wasn't on and then we had to be like, hey, you've got to laugh just as hard.

Yeah, we've got to do it all again, guys. And to the audience's credit, they really did. Yeah, it was good. You did great. And maybe they were laughing because they were like,

this is one of those fucking losers who wants there to be a G-rated version of Jackass. What a fucking dork. Are you, now are you guys the kind of people who, are you, do you obsess over what your Uber rating is?

I check it probably once every few months. Okay. I did that interview with Andy Murray for the tennis where I got his Uber rating out of him and it was low. Really? Yeah, it was like 4.4. Yeah, which isn't great at all. And he had no idea. Oh, I just checked mine.

I never checked mine. 4.6. Keep going. Higher? 6.5. 4.65. Come on, mate. This is just, remember, comedy.

Oh, 6.9. There we go. Right there, 4.69. Thank you very much. 4.74 for me. Oh, shit. Not too bad. I think I'm sitting on a 4.85.

Oh, that's good. Not bad. Yeah. How do you get that? I don't know. I just never talk. I just sit in the back. I can stare at the phone.

Five stars to them every time. I think they wait to see what you give them. You know what? I always forget to do it until the next time I get an Uber and then I go oh, that ride from three days ago I better give that five star. It's probably wasted at that point. Well, it still goes

onto their overall thing. No, but I mean it's wasted on me whereas they've gone, they're waiting for my rating. Oh, yeah. This cunt's not going to get any. Do they see what you rated them, though? Because once you're into the 4.7s, it's like what that says to me is like,

most drivers are just going like, eh, 5. But then every now and then, there's one that's really thought about it that's gone. Oh, you know what? Just a 4. You've got to leave yourself somewhere to go. You can't give everyone a perfect score. I know.

I was thinking it's insane that we used to just all get in the front seat yeah that would just used to be commonplace yeah you'd get in an uber always front seat that's like you know after covid it's backseat right yeah if i'm in a full uber with people and i'm you know i'm you know someone's in the front it's like fuck this feels weird yeah i yeah that was my favorite thing about covid was that we stopped having to like pretend that we like, oh, I'm cool, I sit in the front seat. We're just like, yeah, cool, let's sit in the back. Drive me around. Yeah.

I'm paying you to drive me around. But it's not just that. It's just like, I don't know, I just like to sit in the back seat and not talk. Yeah. And it's not like, oh, it's not like I think I'm above you. It's like, I don't want to talk to anyone. Yeah. Like,

now you've been suspiciously quiet on this. What's your rating? I, I, no, I got, I got banned from Uber. Oh,

here we go. He's, he's, he's, he's spilled boiling oil on the back seat. Can we just go through the drive-thru here, mate? Why did you get banned?

So, so Uber Eats, right? Yeah. I don't know if you're familiar, but I was familiar with their product and services. Affiliate company. So what I did was I got McDonald's on Uber Eats once. Shocking.

I was like, I'm going to give these guys a try. This is like the Tandy's origin story. Yeah, yeah. I got McDonald's on Uber Eats, and because it's so fucking hard when a McDonald's, because McDonald's is the only thing you can reliably get delivered now. Really? 24 hours, too. At any time of day, you mean?

Yeah, but not just at any time of day. Like, if you, maybe it's just me, but no, it's definitely, like, everyone. I know it's everyone. People just don't seem to care that much but you can't wait to whatever point you're trying to make you can order like if you order food from some random place who knows what the fuck's gonna happen okay like you'll order it'll just be like food is preparing food is preparing it's been an hour what the fuck's going

on right right you know the driver then just goes in the opposite direction and then disappears like you don't know what the... But if you go to McDonald's... Same with your partner. Can't even turn the oven on properly. Can't trust anyone these days. The response messaging you being like, I'll just leave it for you to do.

You come around here and hop in the kitchen. I'll leave the oil cold. You boil it and drink it yourself, okay? We don't know how hot you want it. Come on down to Greg's boiling oil anyway McDonald's is like reliable

like because the Uber drivers like sit around in the McDonald's parking lot and like they're there and you just order

and then immediately they're like and McDonald's is just set there you know they're not like a cafe or some trendy place that's just kind of

had to get on board with Uber Eats to be competitive they've just been planning for this they're not putting up signs going come around the back guys don't hang around the front of the yeah yeah so i i order i order mcdonald's from uber eats one time and then i i get it and one item is missing a cheeseburger is missing right yeah and i go hey i'm missing an item and it just and it has on the uber eats app it just goes was there a problem yes you'm missing an item. And it has on the Uber Eats app, it just goes, was there a problem?

Yes. You're missing an item? Yes. What item? And then it just lists the items that I ordered. And I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled through all the items. What was in the order? Can you remember vaguely?

No, it was a couple of burgers, a couple of fries, whatever. So it was significant enough. It was a big list or was it a small list so that the cheeseburger missing was a really big miss? Yeah, well it was missing.

The cheeseburger was missing. You order the food, you want the food, a bit of the food's not there. Who cares how many other items?

Yeah, who cares? Who cares if there were six other items? Who cares if there was like, you know. Okay,

just in case your partner's missing. Okay, so and then I say cheeseburger and I just click on cheeseburger, or thumb press on cheeseburger, push the button for cheeseburger, and then it immediately goes, you know, your cheeseburger has been refunded.

Like, I just got the refund immediately. But you know what they do now is that they make you take a photo to attach to the complaint. Of the lack of cheeseburger. Yeah, so it's like, I've done that before. Something wasn't in the box, so I've just taken a photo of an empty plate. Yeah. And gone, what?

Yeah, it's not here. And perhaps, you know, it was my experience that prompted them to do this because I then just went crazy. You saw how easy it was. I saw how easy it was. And I was just every day. McDonald's, yep.

Oh, the Big Mac didn't arrive. The chips didn't arrive. Blah, blah, blah. I was just getting discounts, discounts after discount. Wow. Same McDonald's? Discount. Same McDonald's, yeah.

And I started... Oh, no. Discount. So they hit a discount. It's not a discount. What are you talking about? It's a discount. It's a discount.

Sorry, McDonald's Corporation. They're not a discount. It's a discount. What are you talking about? It's a discount. It's a discount. Sorry, McDonald's Corporation. They're not counting it. They're discounting it. So, hang on. So, this is complaining about the same franchise every time. Yeah, yeah. So, this same place is getting complained about every day by the same person. Yes.

Right. And I... Who actually refunds the money? Is it McDonald's? It's McDonald's. It's Uber Eats. I thought it was Uber Eats.? Is it McDonald's? It's McDonald's. I thought it was Uber Eats. Well, it's Uber Eats or McDonald's.

Either way, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. Oh, it's a victimless crime. It's a big corporation. As long as you don't care, it's a victimless crime. The secret is to just not care and then no one gets hurt. Yeah, no. It's like the victim is...

The more damage you can do to these companies, the better. Yeah, right. It's like how I steal good. The more damage you can do to these companies, the better. Yeah, right. It's like how I steal from Woolworths on principle now. I'll just steal little things here and there. I think it's coming out of the pocket of the Ethiopian dude on a bike. Brought it over to you in the rain. No, because that's all sealed. Also, he doesn't make any money.

Also. Because he breathes his fucking ripping him off. Also, Ethiopian bloke on the rain, you're welcome. You didn't have that back home. You know, he's enjoying the trip. He's probably eating the burgers. He's gone harsh with Greg.

I got a little side business going on. That's an actual side. This was my side hustle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Ripping off Uber Eats and then like, but yeah.

You're still spending money. It's not a hustle at all. Well, I'm saving money, making money. In the olden days, It's not a hustle at all. Well, saving money. Making money. In the olden days, you know what you'd be? You'd be a guy that has like the black, the grainy black and white security camera photo printed out on the register being like,

don't serve this man. He's shoplifted. Yes. So I, anyway, I basically one day ordered like an insane amount of food. Sounds like to me, you ordered the Icarus combo. Yeah. Someone's wings are about to get a little bit burned.

Someone's chicken wings too close to the sun. Yeah. Too close to the oil. So I ordered, I reckon I ordered like four burgers, like a bunch of chips, a bunch of drinks.

A bunch. Yeah. I like, I just ordered a bunch of stuff. So just a quick side thing. Are you taking this all down in one? Because I had a friend who would do this. He'd make a mega order and not want to pay again for a delivery fee.

So he would just order too much when he's hungover and then just keep the Maccas in the fridge and reheat it. Insane stuff. Dinner the next night, microwaved Big Mac. Maccas is the only food I would say that I don't enjoy leftovers cold kind of deal. Like pizza,

cold pizza, yes, hello. Something about it. Food from anywhere else, fine to reheat, but yeah, reheating chips from Macca's. I've eaten,

not reheat, because I love cold versions of things. Oh yeah. I've eaten like a Big Mac cold from the fridge. It's bad. Oh, yeah. I've eaten like a Big Mac cold from the fridge. It's bad. Yeah, okay.

Surprisingly. Yeah. If I had some boiling oil. This is the bit that's gone in the Daily Mail this week. Craig Larson says, cold Big Macs, no good. I've just remembered I made you eat a reheated Yumbo on the podcast a couple years ago. Oh, yeah. That's a Yumbo.

It was a Hungry Jack's. It was a limited edition, not limited enough. Ham and cheese fucking sandwich. It was like their anniversary, so it was like a throwback to something they had there in the 70s. Something that they very wisely discontinued in 1974 and then brought it back as a joke. The yumbo.

Yeah. The yumbo. If you went to like a Coles or whatever and you bought some day old bread the cheapest ham and the cheapest cheese you could buy

it would taste a little better than the yumbo. Yes. That's exactly it. And then a whole jar of mayo has to go on there as well.

Don't forget that. And also put it in the microwave instead of the oven. This is terrible. So fucking bad. But anyway so I ordered all this food

and I literally went through. Because on the app it has a list of like Big Mac, double quarter pounder, fries, small Coke. And I just went through, didn't arrive, didn't arrive, didn't arrive. Oh, no. But I just said that a small Coke arrived. Because I was like something had to have arrived. See that?

You needed to say the whole order. Because the whole order is like, the delivery guy got lost or whatever. But there's no way we'd only remember the small code. He didn't get a single coconut pie. But this is the thing. A guy turned up in one of those refrigerated cubes and just had a small Fanta in the back of it. I did the research on this.

And I did do the research on this before I pulled this scam off. I didn't want to make I didn't want to rip off a driver or get a driver in trouble if you say it didn't arrive

the driver's in trouble if you say an item didn't arrive the restaurant's in trouble that's the difference the literal Hamburglar yeah

and I was like I want to make sure the restaurant's in trouble not the driver so a coke arrived and they refunded it they refunded it and I was like I want to make sure the restaurant's in trouble not the driver so Coke arrived and they refunded it they refunded it I got like

$40 worth of Maccas for like $3.95 but then literally then the next day I'm like man I was just like I can do anything

I want I'm untouchable I'm the alpha and the omega like you're just fucking covered in burger wrapper. It's like those guys that are like,

I've reached my final form. You get this credit card, you put 20K on it immediately. You get this many frequent flyer points, then you can fly to Japan for free. As long as you pay off the card immediately, Greg's version is like, tell them that the Maccas didn't arrive

and you never have to pay for a meal again. You get free McDonaldland cookies. It's awesome. So anyway, I then the next day opened up Uber Eats just going, fuck, I'm going to go psycho. And then immediately it came up. One franchise, please. I can't remember what it said exactly, but it just said, your account has been deactivated because of suspicious activity. And I was like, fuck.

All right. And then the next day I was like, oh, I've got to catch an Uber somewhere, open up the Uber app. They're somehow linked. Who would have thought? You're not even allowed to ride in one of the cars. It's truly a separate thing. This is amazing.

You'll get him to go through the drive-thru and then you'll pull your fucking scam. We can't trust you. Two coincidences in the same day. First of all, you get banned from one company. Second of all, you get banned from another company in the same day. What a coincidence. The biggest coincidence, they've got the same letters in their name. It's fucking bizarre.

And what revenge because they're ultimately like, yeah, guess what? Your Uber is not going to arrive. Ever. Yeah. But it's like, oh, I mean. It is pretty good to just leave someone sort of a bit too long to think that they're getting away with it. And then it really makes the fall even more damning.

If you've done it like eight times and you're like, well, if they were going to catch me, it would have happened by now. How many weeks of it? Like how many weeks of them thinking you're just a Bermuda Triangle of burgers? I reckon it was like I – the problem is like I sped up sort of exponentially, right? So like I did it like the first time was legitimate. How many limited menu options did you get through? Did you get through like the time of McGah's?

Did you get through Shaker Fries? Did you get through like the time of McGar's? Did you get through shaker fries? Did you get through, was there a lot of seasons? I got through a few. Because here's the thing, and it wasn't even the first one that inspired me. It was the second time they left off an item that I did it again. And I was like, oh, it just works like this every time.

It's just easy, yeah. And then I reckon I just maybe won every three or four orders, maybe a fries didn't appear. But I literally, when I did that Icarus moment where I said everything didn't arrive, I knew what I was doing in the sense that I was like, this could be it for me. This truly is like seeing the interview room footage

of a serial killer that they're for. First one was by accident and then at a certain point I realised I love doing it. No one's ever going to catch me. I killed a cat and then I was like... Yeah, it all led from one time when mum forgot to bring me milk one time and I was like, you know what, my scrambled eggs didn't come either. I petted a budgie a little bit too hard and it died. And I thought, oh, this feels good.

And I tried to suppress it. But when I was doing my last hurrah, when I was doing this final thing, I was like, this could be it for me. McDonald's, Thelma and Louise. So you knew that you went into this knowing, I've got to go big here. I went in with eyes wide open. I was like, what's the worst that could happen? And I was like, you know, I don't think arrest is on the cards.

I just don't think that's going to happen. But the worst that could happen is that I'm banned from Uber Eats. And I went, it's for the best. Like, I can't live like this. I'm thrown in a prison of 10pm cold Kiev for the rest of my life. I can't live like I can't just and then I just switched to menu log but

like but then this is a bit from I did this in my show but then I had to have a fucking I had to go there ombudsman for menu log oh my god really did leave stuff out and they're the

opposite they're like you got a you got to provide 10 years worth of receipts to prove that you didn't that we didn't bring you a big mac and i'm like you motherfuckers wow that's what i love is like you you're going you're doing your tax and there's just like these constant like these transactions for uber eats where it's like money goes out and then the next day money comes back in yeah and then it goes back out to menu yeahog. How does Zero cope with that? Yeah.

Are you money laundering, but just for like $18 at a time? Yeah. So hang on. So when you were doing Menulog, when you were going to the ombudsman for Menulog, was that all completely made up or were there items? That was 100% true.

Okay. That was like I had, and because this is. Was it the Sam McDonald's through Menulog? It was. Oh my God. I was Oh my god No no no This was up in Sydney This is a different place

This is the boy who cried oil Yeah That would be insane if you went through all the fast food carriers All the delivery places Just for the one outlet Yeah That counts as bullying Yeah

I've really got it out for them You just see that profile pic come up again on a different app. That'll teach them to put regular milk in my soy latte. That's the guy who keeps coming in and saying, me so hungry. I forgot about that. It feels like a while ago. From before.

The menu log one was real. What happened was multiple multiple times and this was up in sydney shooting this tv show called we interrupt this broadcast rip and i i was i was up there and like i was i was frequently getting menu log dinners and it was like every time there was fucking problems and i'd be like this didn't arrive and it was it was true like things were not arriving sometimes orders were taking, like, two hours. I'm like, what the fuck? And are you telling people this on the show?

And they're like, yeah, Brent. Man, menu log sucks. Get onto Uber. It's so much better. Yeah. But anyway, and then I'm like, make it. And then, but menu log is the opposite. Like, they won't even give you a refund.

If they straight up don't show up and cancel the order, they give you a voucher. But you still have to spend $5.95 to use the voucher they're fucking criminals yeah and so unlike the upstanding citizen you are yeah and i'm like fuck this and i like this a menu a thing didn't arrive in my mcdonald's the thing took like two hours it was cold and i was like they can't i was so mad i was like they can't keep getting away with it and i made an ombudsman complain at like one in the morning. Yep. Or maybe you could call him the non-ombudsman. Yeah.

You like that? Yeah. Sorry, bro. And it took, I reckon it took two or three months before I got a call. And the guy was like, are you still like after that $48 refund? Yeah. And I'm like yes I am

the subject there is surely you've gotten over this by now yeah no absolutely not and he's like we'll be emailing you know

we'll be emailing Menulog to let them know the proceedings have commenced and I'm like oh my god and I was like so excited to tell

my partner I'm embroiled in a legal dispute with Menulog turn on the oven the man of the people and an office man like deals with proper administrative complaints that cause financial hardship.

And then they get to this, oh, this fucking guy didn't get his Big Mac. It's like someone's first day in there. They're like, there you go, have this. It's the principle. They can't do this. How many people are they ripping off? How many people?

I'm standing up for Australia. You know what Uber Eats do now? I had this happen to me the other day. Uber Eats do a thing where the place that you order from, they can just change your order. So like if they don't have something that you've ordered, they can just put in whatever, but they actually change it so when you look at the receipt, it's got like,

they've changed the item. So there's a brand of chip called Boulder Canyon. They're great. look at the receipt. It's got like, they've changed the, you know, they've changed the item. So I, there's a brand of chip called Boulder Canyon. They're great. And they have this flavor called white cheddar, which is like the best chip I've ever had. And I just started to notice, you're not seeing the white cheddar flavor anywhere anymore.

Like anywhere, like any shop I go into. Sad day when you have your little favorite niche thing that no one else loves as much as you. But then you realize, because it's niche, it's on the way out. Well, I don't know what's going brand still you know you still see balder canyon i'll go into a shop and be like oh they got balder canyon and i'm looking down the aisle no white cheddar there and then i was on a uber eats um store like a grocery store

and they had the white cheddar balder canyon and i went fuck yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna this might be this might be the only place left in the country that has any. So I stock up. I order four bags. Oh, no. The order turns up and they've given me jalapeno cheddar flavor. And then I go on to the order and like I said, because they can change the item. They've just changed them all to jalapeno cheddar.

So then I have to make a complaint and go, hey um yeah i i ordered this and they changed it and it says jalapeno cheddar and then you have to attach a photo and it's like me just saying this was wrong it says on the receipt jalapeno cheddar here's a photo of a bag of jalapeno cheddar chips and i was like this literally is gaslighting this truly is gaslighting like companies can't get away with it they have have to be stopped. Here's the thing. Because I've deleted all my apps. There's no food deliveries in my house anymore. That's why you're getting schnitzel sandwiches. Yeah.

But also, it's actually shocking. I don't know. Have you ever ordered from a place a bunch of times and then physically gone there and ordered? Yeah. Like, I went to a place the other day. It's nearly half and ordered. Yeah. Like, I went to a place the other day. It's nearly half the price to go in there. Yes.

It takes like two minutes to just go there. Yeah, because you're paying a little boy to get on a bike. Are you inventing walking into a shop? No, but like, I knew that there was a delivery fee. Like, I knew there was a $5 delivery fee. You got the delivery fee, but then, instead of like, say, Big Mac, where it's $5 in the shop, say, on the order form, it's $6. Yeah.

They double dip everywhere. Yeah. I didn't realize. I knew there was a delivery fee, but I thought you were just paying the price that the item is. Yes. Plus a delivery fee. No. And no, you're paying like twice as much.

They're stinging you like resort fees. Yeah. It's crazy. And the driver gets fucking nothing. Yeah. It's taking you like resort fees. Yeah, it's crazy. And the driver gets fucking nothing. Like the driver's still living in like a chair bed situation while this fucking company takes your white cheddar chips. They take my Big Mac. Well, I lied to them, but they did take my Big Mac sometimes.

Well, this has all been so much better than the reason that I brought up Uber in the first place, which was a friend of mine is a real fiend for keeping an eye on his rating and where it's at. Proudly, you know, I think like 4.9 or something like that. Like the person that brings it up like, oh, yeah, only 4.6, you know, loves it. And then I was with him the other day and he saw that it had gone down a couple of notches, like dramatic enough that he was like, what's happened here? And then he goes into his rating history.

He's gotten a one-star review. And he's like, oh, what Uber was this? It was him being picked up 4 a.m. outside the Peel. And he picked up a guy and was having a little makeout session in the back. He's like, oh, I've had a rotten homophobic... You know, he's like, we weren't, you know, we were just having a little peck in the back there and he's given me one star.

I've been like, no thanks, yucky. Even though he was hanging out, he was like, it's 4am, the address outside the Peel. Wow, I didn't know Goldstein drove Ubers. I thought you were going to say he got picked up outside the panel. But then we were like, I would love to see the Taxicab Confessions style

footage of him in this Uber and it's just you fucking whacking him off on the back seat. Calm everywhere. He's homophobic. I'm going to make you shoot rivers of calm. They're doing a reach around on the driver and stuff. Come on, mate. Get in.

Get involved. And the driver's loudly. Come on, mate. Get in. Get involved. And the driver's loudly saying, I'm not homophobic. I just don't want all this cum everywhere. It's really hard to clean up. We're boiling up some cold oil over here. I'm not even disgusted by it. It's just hard to clean up. It's the only issue.

That's half an hour I can't be on the road because I'm cleaning this up. Please, I'm trying to feed my family. Don't come into the oil bucket. That's where Greg drinks from. Trying to get your refund from just an Uber that's given you a lift. It's like, the driver didn't even try and fuck me. I'd like my money back. But I do know that my rating was pretty bad.

I can't remember what it was. Okay. But it was okay but it was like low it was like 4.4 4.5 or something are you polite to a driver even if they're like just talking the most insane shit to you will you just kind of go along with it yeah just for the duration of the drive it's pretty rare that i'm if i hear something questionable i'm not going to be like how dare you fucking say yeah well i had a had a driver in Sydney talk about his favorite part on a woman is the pelvic girdle. And he talked about pelvic girdles for a good 15-minute drive. I started recording.

I have the video. What is the pelvic girdle? Some lady walked by and he was like, oh, she looks strong. And I'm like, yeah. And then he was like, she must have a real good pelvic girdle. And I was like, what? And then he talked about the pelvic girdle being like yeah just whatever like i guess hips and stuff or like childbearing hips but then he i've never heard the word pelvic and girdle before before since

and then he just like a good 10-15 minutes of how awesome the anatomy lesson yeah and you're not wanting to like you're not wanting to tap the app and be like, I did click quite preferred things, mate. You are in violation. You're in violation of the policy. It's like, please don't talk about pelvic girls. You know, you don't get much of a chat in the city, but I got an Uber like in Cairns and because when you go far north, Queensland,

you just get a completely different type of Uber driver. Yep. In here, the socioeconomic situation means that you're getting a lot of people from a certain part of the world that are driving you. But up there, it's just whoever the fuck's around. It's a bloke who loves driving. Yeah, exactly.

Dude, if I get a white guy, I'm like, God damn it, this is going to be a conversation. Yeah, no, totally, totally. So I got a lady up there and just a super Aussie lady and I'm like, okay, cool. And it was like a 20-minute thing and then she starts saying, yeah, the Chinese don't come here anymore. I'm like, okay. And she's like, yeah, this is why. I'm like, okay.

And then she just talks for 20 minutes and went, oh, no, that was just like a history in politics. And she was like so well informed. I was like, I actually got out. I was like, I can't believe that someone from Cairns is going to talk about the Chinese for 20 minutes and I'm going to be smarter at the end of it. She was actually really good. On the sunny coast, there was a sign on the back of the seat

that said, ask me about my self-published fantasy novels yes i love a bit of that i love that i love a laminated like the brother's business like you know someone's some relatives like thing they've got going on they're trying to plug and i'd had a few drinks or whatever usually i wouldn't talk at all but i had a few drinks and i was like oh so you know tell me about your books and then he just bitched about the publishing industry and how it's keeping him down for a half hour or whatever. That's great. I would love, if I had a new book, I would put a sign like that up

and then when someone says, so what's the deal with your fantasy novels? I'll be like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Mate, pipe down or you'll be getting one star. I'm honestly a bit scared. Shut the fuck up. You sound insane. Now we're going to

stop at Macca's. I've got the scam money to run into. All right. We better wrap it up there for another week on the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Greg and Mike,

thank you very much for joining us. Thanks for having me. You've both got shows in the festival season. Yeah. My show is called 45 Minutes to an Hour

of Comedy, depending on how it's going. It'll be at Cooper's, a little back two weeks of the festival. That's in the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Melbourne Comedy Festival. Doing a couple of shows in Adelaide, end of Feb,

and then Sydney and Perth in May. Cool. Check all that out. And your podcast, PhoneX. Oh, yeah. PhoneX is still going for some reason. Whatever. Whatever.

And, Gaggy, you've got your show Greg Larson is Revolting coming up. Yeah, it's just called Revolting. It's not called Greg Larson is Revolting.

Oh, sorry. But that's fine. That's just who I am. I thought it was untitled and I've just seen the pic. Yeah, my show's called Revolting. It's Perth like soon, like this week.

So this podcast might be out after then. Adelaide, I'm doing like the 5th of March to something. And then Melbourne and then Sydney. Yeah, I haven't sold many tickets. Okay. So buy some tickets to my show. Well, good luck on Triple M Perth. We'll have to try and get the recording of it and play it in Talking Pump.

Oh, and also I have a new podcast as well called The Greg Larson Show. Nice. And there's like three episodes out, four episodes now as of today. Full Greg, full Geggy. Full Geggy. It's just me chatting with a friend each week and then listen to it. You're often wearing a, I see clips on Instagram, and you're often wearing a T-shirt about fishing and then a Channel 10 hat.

Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, I'm going to wear a novelty hat each time, and I've got like four novelty hats and I'm done. Season two now. Episode four is the final hat, and it's a captain's hat. Yeah, nice. Sorry. All right. Thanks, everyone, for listening, and we'll's a captain's hat. Yeah, nice. Sorry. All right.

Thanks, everyone, for listening. And we'll see you next time. See you, mates. See you, mates. And they've done it again. Oh. I guess so. Yeah.

Yeah. That was fun, I think. A week ago. Hard to remember. Good app. So much has happened since then, Tommy. Anything you'd like to say off the back of that app? Not too much because I can't remember.

Anything you'd usually say at this point? Oh, sorry. Done again. Me so Bernie. Yeah. From before. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Right. Okay. It's all flooding back to me now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. Precious memories. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's fine. Okay. It's all flooding back to me now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. Precious memories. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's fine.

Yeah, that's all good. How are you, Tommy? I'm good after this episode that people just heard. I raced out to take my girlfriend to her colonoscopy. Oh, yes. Went well. That's my drag name, by the way. Colonoscopy.

Colonoscopy. Colon. Colonoscopy. That must exist. Colonoscopy. Colonoscopy. That must exist. I dress up as a man. Yeah. There must be one of them. Yeah.

A colonoscopy. Colonoscopy, yeah. She was coming out of the anaesthetic. The nurse there said to her, first thing she heard as she came to, the person said, did you get Taylor Swift tickets? Oh, right. What, like while i was under yeah having my anus inspected no i did not this was like two days before the show's starting and they did that like last minute you could get like restricted tickets or something is that what you found up there yeah i think it had just it had been a hot topic of conversation for everyone working in the clinic.

Right. A lot of people working there trying to get those last minute tickets that they put up What a hotbed of people trying to get tickets to Taylor Swift. Restricted view tickets for like $150 or something like that. Right. Yeah. How was the show, Tommy? The Taylor Swift show?

Yeah. How was the show, Tommy? The Taylor Swift show. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't stay to watch any of the three nights because I've seen it so many times, but my set beforehand went well each night. Your set? Yeah.

I was opening. Oh, okay. No, sorry. We talked about this, I'm sure. Honestly, if we have, I'm sorry, but I don't remember it. Maybe it was on a bonus ep or remember it i'd like to step or something i'd like to think i would remember something as important as you opening for the biggest star in the world yeah mcg maybe i talked about it on filthy casuals right okay maybe i talked about

it on my video games podcast okay yeah all right well this is a lot of different things happening because that must be the one episode i haven't listened to so i don't know how i don't know this yeah yeah it is weird now that you say it that I brought it up there and not here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels like it would fit way more comfortably into the oeuvre of this show. I would do both. Yeah. With news that big.

That's true. Your opening for Taylor Swift. Yeah. I can't believe Nick Cody was there dancing along to your stand-up. Yeah, he was, yeah. In tinted glasses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, wow.

And in a funny novelty t-shirt. Yeah, that's all very funny stuff. Fucking hell, Granny Mae saw him coming a mile away, didn't they? Fuck, I bet the wife really appreciated the ticket back home, put the lava lamp on, sit down in the big beanbag chair. Well, I mean, he must be devastated he forgot his um goofy uh velvet tie or whatever the fuck it is i mean look surely he missed some of the concert because he was busy playing with uh one of those one of those things where you put your

hand in and it leaves a little impression on the other side right yeah yeah yeah him and all uh he would have gone down there with the whole gang. Yeah. All the Looney Tunes gang. Mm-hmm. Sylvester. Yep. Tweety.

Yep. Yep, all the guys. I thought it was beautiful. I did see some footage from the concert when Taylor gave a shout-out to Mitch Dowd. I thought that was really nice. I don't know. The boxer short company. Oh, okay.

All right. All right. Well, that was a bit of fun. Yeah, yeah. Well, you'll be happy to know that my set opening for Taylor Swift went better than that. Okay, great. Oh, that's awesome. I mean, look, obviously, as you would expect.

I was laughing at that. So if that was even funnier than the thing I was laughing at. If I put this much effort into doing this for one person, think of how much effort i put in for performing to 96 000 people so you put in 96 000 i think i actually effort i think i actually clocked 97 000 right i think about a thousand people left after i'd been on well they'd just been there to see me okay i have no interest in seeing so i think actually i am right Right. Yeah. Oh, wow. So, man, that's amazing. They got tickets for you and left. Yeah.

When Taylor Swift just... Well, you know, it's like, well, I wish he was doing a sideshow, but he's not. So this is my only opportunity to see him. No, I just thought that's weird because most people I would have thought, most fans of yours are real crossover fans of Taylor Swift. That's all. I would have thought... Well, 96,000 of them are.

Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. I guess. Yeah. You're right. over fans of Taylor Swift that's all I would have thought 96,000 of them yeah okay all right yeah I guess yeah you're right I thought like slightly more than one percent like nah I'm out I thought it was a high percentage that's all I'm just a little bit surprised yeah but I mean on a scale that big you know a thousand sounds like a lot but in the in the grand scheme of the MCG I mean whenever I've come to your solo show you you know, in a normal comedy festival. Yeah.

And there's been 17 receptionists in sparkle dresses. Yeah. I'm always like, oh, you know, that's your people. Yeah. That's your guys. Yeah. The comedy festival website crashes every year when my tickets go on sale. And it's cool seeing a lot of like, you know, mums with their teenage daughters.

They're both singing along. Yeah, and just, like, a lot of them, like, standing outside the gig, like, hoping for the window to be open and, you know, some of your riddles coming through. Yep. Yeah. Singing along to them. Crying.

Yep. Yeah, all that's true. Yes. Great. Yeah, all that's true. Yes. Great. What I loved is that time I saw your show where some people walked out and there was teenagers.

What? No, but there was like a medical thing, obviously. It must have been a medical thing. It's the only reason they would walk out, just towards the end. I think it was some real Tommy heads where they'd seen your show 19 nights in a row and it's like yeah we can skip the last bit to get away from the the you know huge traffic jam oh yeah sure sure sure that's caused yeah yeah yeah when everyone comes out of your show well i'd already done their favorite bits as well yeah yeah so then they walk out and there's you know a couple of 13 year olds there and they're like oh can we take your tickets and

they're like yeah you can have them yeah the process they burst into tears and raced into your show just to catch the end where you know you're talking about having cancer and they're like oh we love this bit yeah i thought that was really sweet yeah yeah that was cool and that's you know the fans are what makes it all worthwhile anyway four days off now and then i'm off to sydney what do you what do you What are your fans called again? Dasseys. Dasseys. Okay, right.

Great. Everyone posting on social media, I can't wait to see Tom Tom tonight. Tom Tom. Yeah, yeah. Or local businesses tagging me in posts like, hey, after your big show tonight, if you want to unwind, come down to Strike Bowling for a free couple of games.

I mean, that's cool. And I do see all of that stuff. And I do seriously consider nearly all of it. Right. Even if I don't show up. Right, right, right. I love a brand activation. I love a brand activation just getting around me.

Nice to be invited. Yeah. You know, you'd miss it if it wasn't there. Yeah, exactly. I'd be sitting there being like, is there anything to do here in Melbourne? How am I meant to find out? Yeah. We should literally do that.

That would be good for a solo show. Just the Tommy Daslow after party. Yeah. After the solo show. Yeah. And picking like a Wednesdaynesday night but it's all but i'm not going to be there yeah as is always the case with those big tour after parties it's like they're not they're not going no their photo is being used for marketing yes or like if it's

the official one maybe they have like you know like the drummer in the backing band is doing a dj set or something like that yeah That's the most that you're getting. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's great. Whatever that was. Yeah. That's simply terrific stuff.

Well, that's what I like to call a flight of fancy. Yes. Yeah. An MH370 flight of fancy. What happened there? Where did the comedy go? No one knows. All I know is I'm crying and really missing comedy.

A lot of families want answers right now. We certainly did lock ourselves in the cockpit and depressurize ourselves. And then we just went missing somewhere over the South China Sea. Yeah. A lot of people said, we saw you and Tommy with your own built-in like a little pilot room in your own house

practicing how to bomb at comedy. Yeah. And we're like, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. That didn't happen. Yeah. But now we're all dead.

Yeah. I'm going to a place called Okinawa in about a week. And I was looking up- What country is that in? In Japan. Oh, okay. It's a little island off the coast of Japan. And I've never seen this before, but...

Godzilla? Yep. Okay. Where I'm, like, looking up a comm and, like, rooms that have a view out over the ocean, I don't know exactly what sea it is, but all of the a com would specifically mention with a view over the east china sea or whatever you know body of water it is which like i've never

looked up a com that has like specifically referenced which the body of water that you're looking and just the idea that there's like i mean there's plane spotters are there like ocean spotters or like who's like oh i've, I've never seen her in the flesh before. And then you're on your balcony, you're like, god damn, look at her. She's beautiful. Yeah. It would be a lot better these days because, you know, in the old days you'd have to get the ocean's autograph,

but now it's all about selfies, which is heaps easier with water. Well, you're bringing your drone. You're kind of flying it out there a little bit, getting a nice little look in. Upskirting the ocean. Upskirting the ocean. Upskirting the ocean, yeah. Yeah, well, that'll be good. What day are you going?

I go next Wednesday. Oh, nice. Yeah. Nice. And what's the flight details? What are you getting on the plane? You booked your meals in? Have you checked out what the movies are?

I've booked my seat. Like I've chosen my seat. Oh, you booked your seat. That's good. Well, I've chosen my seat. You're not in the GA? You're not standing? Yeah.

I'm not on standby. Right. I have not looked at the movies. Probably should. I don't, I mean, I don't think I get, I mean, I get a meal. I don't know if I get a choice. I'm not a big, I'm not like, I'd rather load myself up with stuff I want to watch, stuff that I've been meaning to catch up on anyway.

Load the iPad up, get on there, have a look through the in-flight when I'm on the plane. And then if there's anything good on there, that's a bonus. That's extra time. I like, I mean, I don't do any of that stuff. I don't look into it or whatever, but the upcoming Coastal Million International Podcast Festival in June, June 9 to 14, when you take that plane from wherever, from Bangkok or from Singapore or whatever,

when you go Bangkok Air to Samui, that little hour flight, hour and a half flight, they do give you the option of like what you're having as your little one-hour meal because they give you a proper meal. Oh, like when you book, you get to choose. Yeah, but the thing is they don't choose like – Are you choosing or are you just saying if you're vego no no no well that's it there's like honestly 10 choices but it's not like oh chicken beef pork fish whatever it is it's like low salt high salt oh yeah okay and there's

like there's literally like an option that just says bland. Yeah. Do you want a bland meal or not? Do you want a bland meal? Check this box if you want a bland meal. On a plane, I probably do. I probably rather not run the risk. Yeah. Would you like a bland meal?

Well, I'm getting an internal flight in Japan for the first time ever. I've only ever gone bullet train around there. So I'm excited to see what that's like. A little domestic Japanese airline. I believe that that was the first – fuck. No, it couldn't have been the first plane. My first international flight was on Japan Air. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That was the first time I'd ever gone overseas. And it was a great plane to get on for an overseas flight. Yeah, I'm excited. I think they'll do a – because when I've gone there, I've gone, you know, whatever, Qantas or Jetstar. So I don't feel like I've had the, like, flying in Japan experience. But I have a feeling they'll be – I have a feeling it's going to be good. Yeah. It – just my memory of it was because, like, I'm excited.

I'm going overseas. I've never done it before. And I get on this Japan Air flight and it's and it's like a it's full of japanese people so i'm already like i'm the one white guy on the entire plane i'm like this is this is this is or i'm already like this is going to be so different now then i'm like on this plane that's like very very as as japanese as i reckon you could get a plane yeah okay so you should be yeah this japan you would hope yeah had just like a little bit of hello kitty to it you know and um i was like it was it was just such a wild trip as much as like just a long flight can be but it was like

that that was all just a bit of a freak out and then you land and it's like snowing i'm like oh right a lot going on yeah yeah yeah and, yeah. And then of course, I land, I don't have anything booked. Yep. So I'm just like walking around like a fucking idiot. Walking around Narita, which is actually nowhere near Tokyo.

Yes. Yes, absolutely. Oh, that'll be fun. Yeah. Yeah, so Okinawa, little island, never been there,

that'll be fun. Then Tokyo, then I think I'm going to go to this place called Ito just like a little town on this little peninsula that's like halfway between tokyo and osaka a few days in osaka and then back and then you're uh you're planning on wearing a lot of different underwear and then opening up your own vending machine over there is that right so i'm gonna i want to film some stuff while i'm there and i was talking to someone who i was hoping could help me film and i was like trying to come up with like funny video ideas and one of my

things is people always say that to you about japan ah the underwear vending machines i've never seen one in my life so i want to try and do a video where i'm like do these exist i gotta try and like track one down if they actually do exist. But then me putting that in the brief is like one of the things I'm wanting to do when I'm emailing these people I'm hoping they'll help me film. I'm feeling like I may have put them off because I haven't gotten any replies yet. Hey, I want to do this video for people back home about how you guys are all fucking wacky and you're collecting underpants.

But trying to be really like hey i think that's an unfair stereotype that i don't think even exists yeah you're gonna take that out the written one just that's an improv one on the day yeah i'm pretty sure i read something once that was like in tokyo at least there's like literally one there's like one at a train station somewhere i did the one time i've been to japan that's literally 20 years ago and even back then i kept an eye out i was there for like a week and i did keep a strong eye out and i did not see it once yeah yeah so i mean of course these days in these woke times tommy oh yeah it's probably not it's probably not happening but back that's a that's

a good idea wild west that's a good idea for a video going around the horny anime part of town and being like cancel culture has gone crazy you used to be able to get much bigger tits on the anime figurines here and the woke police have come in and shrunk them down you can't even suck a dragon's dick these days. That's someone trying to cancel you. Yep. All right. Well, that's great.

Well, I mean, we've got episodes in the can, guys, so don't get scared. The idea of little Tommy going to Japan, there's no gap in the schedule. No. There never is when we do stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're old hands at this. We know what the fuck we're doing.

Stop writing letters in. Fuck you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're old hands at this. We know what the fuck we're doing. Stop writing letters in. Fuck you. Let's do this bit. Let's read some names from Patreon. I would love to. Thanks, everyone, for subscribing to Patreon. You make us live. So if you want us to kill ourselves, unsubscribe.

But if you want us to... Don't say that. Sorry. Take that back. Edit. Edit point. But, but hey thanks for making this this show happens because of you guys uh there is no other reason it would happen um so keep keep it up if you're not on board get on board apart from anything else apart from just the idea of you being the wind beneath our wings you get more of this sort of shit absolutely if you binge this the first day, it comes out every week,

and then you go, I wish there was a little bit more, you are in for a hell of a lot of luck. We've got heaps of stuff like this in the catalogue. If you subscribe, you get a big back catalogue plus newbies every twice a week. Fridays and Mondays you get a little bonus mini episode. The next two coming up have Greg and Mike on them if you enjoyed this episode. Yeah, especially if you hear a brand new, freshie, and then you think,

fuck, I could do it in another fucking half an hour of that. Yeah. And generally, we've just warmed up for an hour. So we're, you know, we do a bit of hit and giggle. We're nice and warm for the bonus episodes. But thank you to everyone who subscribes. But as an extra thank you, we're going to read your name out. All of you, time permitting, this week.

Yep. And you'll be immortalized in the canon of Dum Dum, of Talking Dum Dum, of everything. So here we go. Let's do this, Tommy. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber, first cap off the rank this week, Tim Harley. Tim Harley. Yes. Okay.

Are there any squeaky wheels this week? I don't believe there are. No. Let's see if this week... I mean, that makes me think, you know, Tim Harley. All right. So, let's see if everyone this week, we can relate back to a friend of the show, a guest. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Or a mode of transport. Yeah. All right. Well, if we can do either of that with the first. Yeah. Or anyone that's been gotten before. What?

Oh, yeah. Sure. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Okay. So can we do that with this guy? We've got three.

This is, yeah. Yeah. Let's see if we can do that with the first one at least. Yeah. Hang on. So I'll remind you what his name is. Mm-hmm. This is, yeah. Let's see if we can do that with the first one at least. Yeah. Hang on. So I'll remind you what his name is. Tim Harley. Right.

So first of all, friend of the show. Any relation to? Someone that's been a guest on this show. Tim Harley. Nick Kappa on the motorbike. Right. I don't think it's a Harley. Yeah.

Maybe that's as good as it's going to get though. Okay. So we're giving up on that? Close enough. Yeah. We're giving up on that. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's as good as it's going to get though. Okay. So we're giving up on that? Close enough. Yeah. We're giving up on that. Yeah. Okay.

So none from one. And then what was the second one? A mode of... Well, yeah. A mode of transport. Right. Is there a Timobile? Hmm.

Well, I mean, yeah. Your license plate. Oh, yeah. It says got Tim. Got Tim. Yeah. So there you go. Well, it's not yeah, your license plate. Oh, yeah. It says got him. Got him. Yeah. So there you go. Well, it's not a mode of transport though.

Your car. No, a number plate isn't. Yeah, but it's the registration of the car. Yeah, but you can't say a mode. Like if someone comes by with a personalized number plate that says big dick, you can't say their mode of transport is big dick. Yeah. You can't say their mode of transport is big dick. Yeah. You can't say that.

You could take the license plate off and then maybe go like boogie boarding with it. Put wheels on the number plate. Use it as a little skateboard. Fucking hell. I mean, I don't think this is going to stand up in a court of law to me. Hey, I'm hearing a lot of pushback. Yes. It's me pushing back.

That's the sound of what I'm doing hey I'm hearing a lot of pushback yes it's me pushing back that's the sound of what I'm doing I'm not hearing you offering anything up I'm glad you can hear what I'm doing what I'm doing is working good

what's that what's that from the shadows someone not having a crack themselves if you can find a way to make the name Tim Harley about a mode of transport

someone who's been gotten or a friend of the show then then I'd love to hear it. The floor is yours, genius. I'm just saying what everyone at home is thinking. I think they're thinking job well done. I think they're marveling at the incredible acrobatics on display. Okay, well, if that's what you think, I'm happy to let that happen. But I mean, I'm obviously, my ears are half empty rather than ears half full.

Yeah. So sorry for being a real negative Nelly over here. Well, yeah. I guess we'll hear about it this week. I'm just not – I just don't feel like I need any devil's advocate. We'll hear about it. This will be the thing that we'll hear about this week. Ah, Carl's too.

Boo, boo, boo. He was negative about it. You're playing the voice of the I'm actually brigade. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Carl's too, boo, boo, boo. He was negative about it. You're playing the voice of the I'm actually brigade. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, all right, okay, well, all right. Don't flood the inbox, guys. Okay, whatever. Okay, a mode of transport is a number plate with wheels on it.

Yep. And Tommy did it. He's got it. Yep. He got it right. Yeah. Okay, all right. I'm standing down.

We did it. Okay, done. Look, maybe some of them will be easier than this. Right. Maybe we'll get like a juicier piece of fruit. Right. We won't have to do such long bows. Right.

But, you know, to get that criteria into this name, it was a stretch, but I think we just about got away with it. Right. All right. And did we want to tackle the last one about something that could be gotten? The floor's yours. The floor's mine. All right.

That's an easy one. No. Yeah. Okay. Done. Two out of three ain't bad. No, that's one out of three. What do you mean?

Are you giving yourself the kneecap has a Harley? Yeah. If we're giving me riding around a license plate like a skateboard, I think we've got to give me Nick Capper owns a motorbike. All right. If we're giving that to you, then you've got to give to me the no. Yeah, sure. The flat out no.

Yeah. That's a yes. Sure. Right. Okay, done. Three out of three. Three out of three. Fantastic.

Perfect. Perfect. Moving on. Fuck, we're good at this game. Moving along. We're really good at this game. Thanks, Tim. That's a yes. Sure. Right. Okay. Done. Three out of three. Fantastic. Perfect. Perfect. Moving on. Fuck, we're good at this game. Moving along. We're really good at this game. Thanks, Tim. Thanks, Tim Harley.

Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Danielle Achilles. Oh, Danielle Walker. And Achilles heel. Yes. You know, you're walking around. That's a mode of transport. Fuck. Yeah. I mean, this is a lot quicker than the last one.

We should have started this one. And if you have an Achilles heel, that's bad. The doctor would be like, got him. He's giving you bad news. He's gotten you. Next. you next i did look at daniel achilles and thought this is this is going to be ripe for something i just didn't know it was going to be so ripe yeah that's so amazing yep um achilles is our surname amazing that's a fucking that's a ripper. Yeah, that is good. That's really good.

And of course, you would get a lot of Achilles heel mentions. Of course. I mean, which overlooks, I mean, the, what was the story about Achilles? A Greek god where obviously that was his one weakness. I'll look this guy up. I'll look this MF up. Yeah, I actually don't know. His one weakness. I'll look this guy up. Yeah.

I'll look this MF up. Some sort of like Greek athlete or something where he gets... I think they just ripped his Achilles heel out and then that fucked him. Fucked him for real. In Greek mythology, Achilles was a hero of the Trojan War who was known as being the greatest of all Greek warriors. He was invulnerable in all of his body except for one heel. According to that myth, when his mother, Thetis, dipped him in the river Styx as an infant,

she held him by one of his heels, leaving it untouched by the waters and thus his only vulnerable body part. The term Achilles' heel has come to mean a point of weakness, which can lead to downfall, especially in someone or something with an otherwise strong constitution.

Hang on. So Achilles' most notable feat during the Trojan War was the slaying of the Trojan Prince Hector outside the gates of Troy, although the death of Achilles is not presented in the Iliad. Other sources concur that he was killed near the end of the Trojan War by Paris, who shot him with an arrow. What? So he got shot in the heel and died with an arrow?

Yeah, I mean, presumably word got around. Like, that's the weak spot. That's what you've got to aim for. Has anyone ever died from being shot in the heel? Well... Because I would say if I got shot in the heel, I would not die. Yeah.

So how did he get shot in the heel and die? Hmm. Maybe the fact that he... Like, I get it. If whatever happened, if the rest of his body is invulnerable except for the heel and die hmm maybe the fact that he like i get it if you're in if if whatever happened if the rest of his body's invulnerable except for the heel that doesn't like maximize the invol the vulnerability of well maybe it does maybe that's just if someone just punches you in the heel and all of a sudden you die maybe that's just the deal that you make with the river sticks if you get

dunked in there it's like well that strength has got to come from somewhere right so it's funneling it out of like out of the heel yeah it's all in the heel that power the rest of us have i mean the heel is pretty strong it's holding up your entire body essentially right you know so he's just got the most that that's what people didn't mention at the time they said he was he's involuntary like the rest of him so indestructible but what they didn't say was do you know Achilles you know the guy with the most vulnerable

heel in the world like if you even sneeze on it he's fucking done you do have to wonder why the mum did she know this

when she dunked him in the river Styx that she was leaving one bit of him completely and that to me says if that's the only bit that wasn't submerged,

she's what? She's holding him by the heel? That's pretty difficult. Yeah. And at the very least, you'd like to think if she's known that that's going to happen, you know, flip him around and dunk the feet in there as well. Also, what's the deal with the river Styx?

This is like the – is this where the asterisks and obliques thing comes from oh the um the magic potion yeah yeah i wonder he fell in the magic potion and yeah whatever he was superpowers yeah well they're yeah i don't know i wonder okay i'm sure it's like yeah maybe like based on it in some way but i don't know if i don't know if old Getafix is making his potion by taking a big old bucket down to the River Styx. So what people overlook is the fact that that means that Achilles had an invulnerable penis, an invulnerable testicles. Yeah.

Just you could... Do people overlook that? Well, yes yes I've never I've never heard anyone talk about it yeah so you could shoot him in the dick

and he'd be fine I bet he was kind of you know goading that to happen alright just as like a neat party trick arrow just bounces off

I wonder if that got rid of all sensitivity so you know sex was not as good or it could go all night mmm but if there good. Or it could go all night. But if there's no sensitivity, it could go all night, but maybe it wouldn't, you know.

Wouldn't feel great. Wouldn't be getting much out of it. But he's pleasuring his lover. Yeah. Okay, well, I guess that's good. Yeah, what's that like? Okay, well, thanks, Danielle. Thanks, Danielle Achilles.

Achilles. Turns out your one weakness is subscribing to Patreon. Yep. And we've absolutely maximized that one weakness of yours. Thank you very much. Thank you for dipping your dollars in the river sticks of our wallet. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Ben Jaffrey Ben Jaffrey

yeah hmm any thoughts well are we still playing our game I'd love to not but

I don't I really feel like that's an option at this point yeah Jaffrey it's a bit of a stretch here but it

does sound sort of similar to Jaffey, Al Jaffey. Yes. The illustrator and creator of the Mad Magazine fold-in. Yes. Which you are creating by transporting one side of the page across to the other. Yes. Oh, I wrote transport.

Right. Okay. Okay. Right. Sorry. And Ben Russell. All right. Okay.

All right. And I guess you got there just then. Well, and, you know, got him, you could also relate to the fold and it could be like, good, you know, and then a sentence. And then, you know, him. And then you fold it over and it says, got him. Right, okay. I was trying to think of like, have we ever, if we had a friend of the show, have we had a guest called Jeff?

Hmm. Yeah, I don't know. Have we had a Jeff on the show? Don't know. It's a good question, I reckon. Have we ever had a Jeff? Speaking of Okinawa though, I was looking up food over there that's good or meant to be good.

And there's a burger chain on the island that only exists on the island. You want to know what it's called? What? Jeff. Wow. Jeff Burger.

That's pretty good. Yeah. Are you are you googling Jeff plus little dumb dumb pub? Yes. I'm not getting much. Jeff Stilson.

Oh yeah Friend of the show Yeah He's been on before Yep Well you got it quicker than Google did Yes And now I'm looking up

Jeff Berger J-E-F Jeff Berger Okinawa Looks pretty good I reckon It looks Average I like the I like all their design.

I like all their branding and logo and stuff. I'm just looking at TripAdvisor pictures, which don't make it look particularly great. No, that's not going to do you any favours. Yeah. Their official Macca's style photos. The first result that comes up when you put Jeff Berger, which is a photographer

called jeff berger or a reviewer or something and it's just like a review of bob dylan hang on his name is jeff berger yes that's sick yeah yeah yeah all right a writer and editor jeff berger has covered popular music through his journalism career um yeah. Now let's look at... Man, Jeff Berger, your mates, the Bergers, come up very low in the Google results. There's then an illustrator called Jeff Berger. Oh, wow. This is an influential Berger chain.

Yeah. For only having three outlets in the whole world. Jeff Berger holds fifth degree black belts in both Shitoroi Karate and Matsukazu Ryo Jujutsu. I wonder if they're aware of this. He's a multi-instructor. There's Jeff Berger, a summer cum laude graduate of the State University of New York in Albany.

There's a Jeff Berger songwriter, producer, author. there's a Jeff Berger songwriter, producer, author. Fuck, there's a lot of... There's a Jeff Berger woodfire stoneware pottery in Minnesota. Fuck, there's a lot of people called Jeff Berger, which is a fucking insane name to have. Yeah, it's great though. It's insane for so many people to have. There's a coach.

Fucking hell. Hey, there's a Snoopy museum in Tokyo. Why do they not have a website? Because all of this stuff comes up before. The burger? Yeah. They do. You just got to look up Jeff Burger Okinawa and it'll come up.

But there's a Snoopy museum in Tokyo that I'm going to check out. You know what I'm hoping gets a little mention in there? Yes. Our old friend, Frank Dankovich. Yes. But you know what I'm hoping gets a little mention in there? Yes. Our old friend, Frank Dankovich.

Yes. Yeah, if you can get any sort of reaction of what the Japanese think of him. Well, I want to, again, something I want to try. There's a statue of him. That'd be great. What I want to do is I want to make up a little kind of like plaque, a little wall thing and get it laminated. Oh, yeah. And try and sneak it up on the wall in there somehow.

Yeah, that'd be great. Even if it's just on the wall of a toilet cubicle. Yes. Just there to be some representation of Frank Dankovich in there. Yeah. Seems like a missed opportunity. Yeah. Because it's not the Charles M. Schultz Museum.

It's not a museum about the artist himself. It's a museum about the specific character of Snoopy. Yes. And that is a huge moment in Snoopy history. You know what would be great? A nice little tribute, a nice little animation, a nice little cartoon, a little episode where Snoopy's playing tennis and he gets really hot and he sees an apparition of Frank Dankovich. Oh, yeah.

That would be good. That would be good. I think if Schultz was still alive, that would have been the first thing he got onto. That would be really good. Have you found their website? Yeah. It's jefokinawa.com. Yeah.

I don't know. I love anything like this where it's never gone beyond just this island. There's three on the island and that's it. It's never branched out into anywhere else in Japan. That's fascinating to me. It's the in and out of Japan. Yeah. Alright, well, good luck there. Ben Jaffrey. Thanks, Ben.

Thanks, Ben. How did we get there? Oh, that was just out of nowhere. Oftentimes the answer is we didn't get there. Yeah. We just teleported there. Yeah. We can't blame ourselves.

Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Michael Patton. Okay. Yeah. Your mate. My mate. Okay. Yeah. Your mate. My mate. Wow. The lead singer of Faith No More and Mr Bungle is subscribing to us on Patreon. Spelled the same?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he usually would go by Mike Patton, but obviously he's trying to throw us off. Well, this is formal because he's had to put his credit card in to get the patreon you know there's multiple things that i'm signed up to as thomas yep it's because it oh yeah correlates to my uh passport and uh bank card well he's renowned as a driver's license renowned as having so many side projects faith i'm all mr bungle tomahawk phantomus yep dead cross etc etc um this is his new side project subscribing to our patreon that's pretty cool yeah yeah this is uh as uh as he might say this is pretty epic i don't get it it's a song that he did. Oh, okay. It's a song he sings. Right, right. With one of the bands.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, so that's him. Mm-hmm. Faith No More, he has faith some more in our show. Yep. Yep.

No, I think the actual title is probably appropriate after listening to these riffs. Faith No More. Faith, no more. Oh, that's bad for us. Wow, that's exciting. Yeah, really exciting. A guest? On the show? No, no, no, no, no.

Our game. We have to finish playing. Oh, sure, sure. Mike Goldstein and pattern hmm well uh i've i'm going on a i'm going on a plane and i've gone through security and the thing's gone off so now i'm getting patterned down oh yeah by security i would have gone i'll said. Well, what would you have done? Well, like, you know, when a car comes in, like this car racing comes in to get like, you know,

tires checked or whatever. Like say it's like NASCAR and it's all good to go and then they've padded the car on the top of the car. And then it takes off. Yeah. That meme of the like a car dealership guy banging on the hood and being like, this baby will get you, you know, whatever, yeah. On the top of the car. And then it takes off. That meme of the car dealership guy banging on the hood. This baby will get you. Yeah. You know, whatever.

Yeah. So that's an Elmwood transport. You ever see one of these? International driver's license? No. Give us a look. Got a little one of them. Wow.

Going to hire a little car. Oh. It's pretty funny that that is the thing that lets you drive in another country and it's just like a piece of cardboard. This looks like shit. I should really do that instead of illegally driving around in Thailand. Well, but you... Yeah, I mean, if they're going to rent you the car without that...

Yeah, that doesn't matter. Like, if the cops pull you up, you're done. Oh, yeah, true. Yeah. Yeah. So, you're going to rent a little car Go driving in Okinawa You know I should look into this more But from what I saw

Just when I first looked at it You I think you can't have In Japan when you're driving You can't have any alcohol in your system At all When you're driving Yeah

Makes sense Yeah Yeah But like you know here you can have like two drinks yeah you can't have i think even they were saying like even just like a bit from the night before yeah you'll get done yeah oh good for them yeah it's a good idea makes makes a lot of sense yeah it is pretty funny that you know here when you just think about it broadly, it's like at a certain point we bought in a rule, it's like, I mean, you can have a cup. Yeah. Someone had to work out like what's a blood alcohol limit

that's like you're going to have a bit of fun and like probably not wrap your car around a tree. Yeah, yeah. They've definitely allowed for you to be absolutely impaired by alcohol yep while you're driving a car at 100 kilometers an hour but not not too much yeah like you but let's be clear we do know that you are in some way impaired at the moment while you're driving yeah with your family in the back it does fuck your brain up yeah and. And so obviously...

You're not at 100%. Yeah. But how are we going to stop you from doing that because you just want to and have fun? Well, you know, you want to go to your friend's birthday. You don't pay for a cab. Yeah. Yeah. One more drink though, not allowed.

One more sip, not allowed. No. No. But a couple of pints if you've had some food. Yeah. Then maybe after an hour you can have like maybe one more it's vague enough yeah good lord it's vague enough that if you go out and decide that you're going to have a couple of drinks and drive home and keep yourself under

the limit it's almost impossible to keep tabs on how much you've had yes yes um well thanks Yes. Yes. Well, thanks, Mike Patton. Thank you, Michael. Thanks for, well, yeah, speaking of drinking, I think the last Faith and More Tour that I had tickets for was cancelled because of someone having a little bit of a drinking problem. Oh. So, yeah, he should have had a, certainly not recording and doing his thing in japan if he if he had of maybe there'd be a fucking tour here yeah um all right number wow

we've so we've done it for all of them so far yeah we've related them all back to a friend of the show and a mode of transport. Yes. Unbelievable. Yeah. So it all rests on this next name. Yes. And yeah, we'd better, because we've got to do an ep after this, so we'd better make this the last one.

Yes. And so if we do this, then we've had 100% success rate. Yes. For the first time ever in either of our lives. Yep. All right. Are you ready ready i've never been more ready all right for anything yep okay by the way don't forget to take those pies off me today oh you bought pies for me a month ago yeah i keep well a couple weeks ago now i keep forgetting to give them to you yes are they Are they going to be any good? Yeah.

You bought them in Kyneton. The point of getting them was they were fresh, and now they've been in your freezer for weeks. Yeah. Still be fine. All right. We'll see. Yeah.

We'll see. Actually, you should put them in the oven while we're doing the normal episode. That's not a bad idea. I don't think they need an hour to heat up but put some really low yeah all right fucking eight degrees final guest uh let's see if we can uh we can get it we can get this one we can drive this one home um thank you very much to patron subscriber mr trevor no Noah locomotive comedy. Well, locomotive. Has been a guest on the show.

Locomotive, the song, Do the Locomotion. Yeah. Kylie Minogue was on the show once. Yeah, yeah. So that's easy, obviously. That's barely even worth pointing out. Yeah. And then? Well, Trevor Noah was going to be on,

and he cancelled. We... Well, he was going to be on, and that would have been effectively... Well, you know, The Daily Show is, or was, a Trevor Noah vehicle. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. There you go. Don't you think? Yeah. Yeah. That's true. That's actually the best one out of all funnily enough you're right yeah because comedy we got no link to that whatsoever

we can't get that in it's never been on the show yeah um it's certainly not transported us anywhere well now what's the third thing got as any Can anything be got on this thing? Well, comedy can be got, just not on this show. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah. That's true, yeah. We've been gotten by the foolish pursuit of devoting our lives to it. Yeah, yeah, they got us.

The good people in a comedy, they got us. Trevor Noah, out here soon. Oh, really? Yep. My friend is really keen to go see him. What if we get him on the show? Trevor Noah out here soon Oh really Yep My friend is really keen to go see him And What if we get him on the show I mean

You know It'd be pretty good I mean I've got a link to him How Oh my friend Ronnie Chang Oh right He used to work for him Right right right

So I could I could maybe hit him up And get him to do me a favour So I mean we might as well lock that in now Yeah Tommy Okay Just call him up and get him to do me a favor. So, I mean, we might as well lock that in now. Yeah. Okay. Just call him up.

Tommy. Yeah. What? I'm agreeing. Okay, good. I think what you're saying sounds really rational. Good. All right.

It's pie time. Thanks, everyone, for listening. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for the tickets to all the stuff we have coming up. Thank you for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Thanks everyone for listening. littledumbdumbclub.com for the tickets to all the stuff we have coming up. Thank you for joining us and we'll see you next time. See you mates.