The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 711 - Live! Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, Dave O'Neil & Harley Breen

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

We're back in Brisbane with DAVE ANTHONY, GARETH REYNOLDS, DAVE O'NEIL & HARLEY BREEN! Dave Anthony takes his title of 'surprise guest' a little too literally, we dissect Magic Round and some key moments in NRL history, Chandler's been called in to the principal's office and Dave O'Neil's been doing some digging into his ancestry and probably wishes he hadn't. PLUS: RAD DAD COMES TO BRISBANE! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode recorded live in Brisbane with guests Harley Breen, Dave O'Neill, Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds. What have we got coming up? We've got our live going away party Saturday, June the 1st at the Creatures of Habit Bar and Band Room in Melbourne. That is a chance for you to thank our sponsor for the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival and to bid us farewell. That's it. And then we've got, of course, the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival starting June 9 till 14.

Guys, there is a little bit of news in that there is a couple of tickets available because people want to get rid of their tickets. If you want to get discounted tickets, we'll have more information at the end of the show or I can just tell you it's online. You can buy it online if you want a heavily discounted ticket. Last minute, if you're the sort of animal that makes calls like that this far out, fucking you are in some good luck. Yeah, exciting.

Get on littledumbdumbclub.com for tickets to all that stuff. We'll talk to you more. And Sydney. Oh, yeah, Sydney. July the 20th. Yeah. We'll talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dumb Dumb. But until then, enjoy this brand new episode live from Brisbane.

Oh, my God. Oh, wow. What a reception. Wow. These guys are crazy, Tommy. Jesus Christ. These guys are crazy. Oh. Jesus Christ. These guys are crazy. Oh.

Stop, guys. Stop, everyone. Unprompted. No, no. Not yet. No. No. Not yet. Alright. Alright. Okay. What happened? Tommy, you start the show. This is Tommy Daslow, everyone

Oh yeah, our famous intro This is Tommy, everyone Hey mates, welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week Thank you very much for joining us My name is Tommy Daslow and joining me as always the other half of the program Dave Anthony

What's up, cunts? Joining me, as always, the other half of the program, Dave Anthony. What's up, cunts? Isn't that what you said? Yeah, now, Dave, we've got a very special guest here today. Yeah, who's that? Yeah, a very disturbed little boy who really wanted to be up here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is my make-a-wish. I caught cancer off Tommy finally, and...

He doesn't have long to live, not medically, just his age. I make a wish. I caught cancer off Tommy finally. He doesn't have long to live, not medically, just his age. Please give it up for Carl Chandler. Yeah, go dig it. This is, remember backstage when I said we're going to go out and do a bit and then you guys come on after that, Dave? But then I was doing a bit on top of that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good, that's good.

I can leave. No, that's fine. Who cares? The message did come through. Dave Anthony might be a surprise guest. I just didn't know how much of a surprise. So, yeah. That's fine. You're welcome. He's so much of a surprise guest that he's

a surprise host. That's the ultimate surprise. I'm the real surprise guest. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so. How's everyone feeling so far? Good? Yeah.

All right. We, last time we did a gig here, the pandemic happened the next day, and everyone, who was at that gig last time we were in here? You weren't here, Dave. Fuck me. Who had a ticket and stayed home because they didn't want to get sick? Oh, that's a good question.

Fuck yeah, someone outing his partner. That's very brave. Oh, you thought COVID was real, you loser. Sorry, no offence, Dave. We are in a great mood. We flew up this morning. When we got to the airport, we got picked up by our friend Nick Carr. We were on the freeway and we were driving behind a car whose licence plate was

123 ass. Amazing sign. The riffs in that car, we were like, we are fucking ready to go this afternoon. I mean, we won't share any with you now, but guarantee us it was funny in the car. We were having a good time. You weren't in the car.

You weren't in the car. You literally walked in a minute before I said hello to you and the most we've talked is now. Like, you were here one minute ago. Come on! Why didn't one of the others come out early? Fucking hell.

You know what? A little more of this would have been good a few years ago in Koh Samui, honestly. Tell you what, man, still one of the greatest weeks of my life. That's not what happened. It's not what happened. All the shrimp we ate. They do love shrimp

over there. Yeah, shrimp and... Go on. Yeah. Spaghetti. Yeah, eating. Yeah, well, you must be there. You know about eating. Yeah, that's what they do in Koh Samui. It's very funny to barge out here at the top of the show and then borderline refuse to talk. It is a great bit.

I've got to hand it to you. It's inspired. I didn't know how boring it would be when I got out here. So it's just, you know, imagine what it's like being me. Imagine being up here earlier than I'm meant to be I don't know you guys keep saying these weird but we had a whole thing planned

we talked about it in the car when we were watching the ass license remember we were saying don't get too close up the rear all that kind of stuff 1,2,3 COVID's back Remember we were saying don't get too close up the rear, all that kind of stuff? Yeah. One, two, three. Yeah, we are. Uh-oh, COVID's back.

All right, well, should we get our guests out here? Okay, well, yeah, we've got some left. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got three beautiful seats here just begging to be sat on. Please welcome back into the Little Dum Dum Club, Dave O'Neill, Harley Breen and Gareth Reynolds. Welcome back into the Little Dum Dum Club, Dave O'Neill, Harley Breen and Gareth Reynolds. Hey, poofs.

Now Dave's left. All right. Look, we just found a sign, guys. All right, Carl? No crowd surfing. It's backstage. Okay. Hey, welcome to the stage, everyone.

Dave Anthony. There he is. Wow. Surprise guest. to the stage, everyone. Dave Anthony. There he is. Surprise guest. Keep it down this time. It's all being professional. I said, hey, Poofs, you didn't hear me. The tattered guys having a fucking crack at me. Only in Queensland does someone yell,

you didn't say Poofs. You did the wrong thing. To be fair, I was at the bar with him and he's going to miss a lot today. Nobody will sit next to him. He's got an open seat on each side. Are you on day release? What the fuck's happening, sir?

Did they pour all of Queensland into one person? Are you FNQ? Are you Far North? Or NQR? Not quite right. Are you FNQ? Are you Far North? Or NQR? Not quite right. Are you Gold Coast? Are you Gold Coast? Nambour!

Fucking Big Pineapple! Did he say Nambour? Hang on, there's a girl coming towards you. No, she kept moving. Oh, no, hang on. Oh, wow, okay. Fuck it's all chase. Look at how not gay that man is.

Wow, sir. Hey, just blink if you need help. Have you been kidnapped? What's happening down here? Definitely. Definitely what? Punching above your own weight. Don't say definitely punching when you look like you.

He killed on you. That's an expression here called... Do you have that in America? Punching above your weight? Yeah, yeah. No, I don't think you invented that, Carl. Do you have that in America? Punching above your weight? No, I don't think you invented that, Carl Do you have women in America? We used to, yeah, we got rid of them We're all poofs, way to go, sir

You'd love it there Do you have guys like this? What state would he be from in America? He would be the state of Florida Oh, wow 100% Yeah, your girlfriend's impressed I don't know if that's what that was. She was like, that one.

The awful one. The Queensland of America. Yes, exactly. Don't groan at that, you fuckers. You know what you are. He's one of you. He's allowed to say it. Harley's from here.

He's from here. Where are you from in Queensland, Harley? Beachmere. Where's that? Yeah, correct. People know. Some people know. It should be called Caboolture by the Sea. That is a great local reference that we don't understand.

Thank you. Everyone got it. Dave loves it. I know that only one extra guest isn't that much, but it feels like there's about 27 people up here right now. It feels like I'm listening to a show I'm not on. Let's get rid of the dead weight. Yeah, I'm fine.

We're all pockets here. Hey, I know, this is what we organised in the car. Now I get it, now I remember. Oh my God, that licence plate. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Was that your car, sir, by the way? 1-2-3-R-S.

Is that you? 1-2-3-R-S. Wait, 1-2-3-R-S? Yeah, 2, 3, ass. 1, 2, 3, ass? Yeah, that was the number blow. 1, 2, 3, ass. Except he couldn't get 1, 2, 3, ass, so it was 1, 2, 3, A, S, 5. So he beat the system. Oh, come on.

That's good, yeah. Oh, the masked magician over here. He's given up all the secrets. Sorry, that's how easy it is, guys. If you want to do that, you can. Do you know the Queensland Roads person was on to that? They must have had a debate. They were in the room like, he's really got us by the balls. He says AS5

but he really means arse. We know what he means, but legally he's got us. Alright, the next one. Hotpants69. Do we pass that? Hotpants69. That's my... It's a licence plate, not a hotmail address That's my Reddit handle, don't worry

How's the show going so far? It's okay, it's magic round, Gareth, did you know that? What? It's magic round Magic What does that mean? Rugby I know

Oh yeah, we noticed There's an influx of drunk people But for us That's pretty much Australia always Right right right But David Copperfield Does the half time

Entertainment Does he Yeah Uh oh Tough time for him Yeah Ta da Yeah

Why is it called So Magic Round So what From what we've learned From what we've learned Very quickly Is because we tried To stay here

But it's $800 a night To stay in Brisbane Tonight So we have to fly home, but it's $800 a night to stay in Brisbane tonight, so we have to fly home tonight. So Magic Round is when all the rugby league teams play each other in one city at the same time. Is that right? Yes. Why is that called Magic,

apart from the fact that rugby is the only sort of organisation that's as sex-pesty as Magic is? Nice. Why is it? I don't know. That's why I. Nice. Why is it? I don't know. That's why I'm asking. Why is it called magic? Anyone?

Okay, and you call that magic. Right, okay. Who would have thought that Queenslanders explaining something would have made it still not make any fucking sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think they know what magic is. There's no sleight of hand.

What's wrong? Your definition of magic is, but what if all the teams played at once? Whoa! The magic is there'll be no sex crime in other states tonight. That's the magic. Great. That's the miracle.

That's the miracle. Miracle round. Miracle round. Miracle round. All dogs are safe on the street. Good lord. There was an incident. There was a rugby league player

that mimed fucking a dog. And everyone was outraged. Outraged. But all of the previous assaults against women just were like, oh, that's alright. But that guy, he tried to fuck a dog. Wow. Thank God he wasn't really... In my head, I was like, this man

fucked a dog. For sure. That's the energy of this town. No, he just mimed fucking... It was in Sydney. Sydney, yeah. Dog fucking town. Yeah, exactly. He mimed fucking the dog. There was a breeze.

He was like pushing against that. Then he was pulling on a rope. Oh, right. Like during a storm in a box, all that stuff. Did he do this outside? Was it the same guy that pissed into his own mouth too? Was that the same guy? Wait, what? Now this is magic.

Is that right? Yeah, that's magic. Now you're talking about magic. It's called bubbling. It's called bubbling. It's too good already. It's actually bubbling. It's called bubbling. It's too good already. It's actually magic. You piss up and you catch it in your own mouth.

Not everyone can do it. It's impressive. I feel like we're now dolloping the dollop on the NRL. Oh my God. Wow. It's awesome that it gets a nice name. Yeah. Yeah, they didn't want to know it as I piss in my own mouth.

Yeah, no, no. I had to make up a new term Yeah, it sounds like a slurpee or something Let's have a bubbly tonight But now I get why you fuck the dog Because he's like, how do I top this? And then there's the dog There we are

There's the picture Oh my fucking god What the fuck There's a photograph? By the way, I just assumed... By the way, why do you have that as your home screen? Yeah. One, two, three, ass.

I love it. Is he doing it in a urinal? He's in a urinal. Oh, he is in a urinal. Fuck! He's doing it in a urinal. He missed the urinal. He doesn't know how they work.

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, but I can't believe you have a picture of a guy. What a dick. He's pissing in his mouth and his dick is pixelating. At that point, it's fucking, just show the dick. I just assumed he'd be on his bath. Oh, look. Like really going for it.

Well, that's how you do it. Oh, my God. If you want to drink it, that's the way to do it. This guy's just a magician, like you said. That's magic. A little bit of magic. Next thing, he makes those yellow lollies disappear. Those guys get a rib removed so they can suck their own dick.

I do it so I can piss into my own mouth easier. That's bubbling. I mean, just asking for someone else, what's a cool one that's come? Chandlering. Chandlering, okay, all right. Soda streaming. Soda streaming. The more bougie version.

Wow, we are having a lot more fun than you guys. I'd say it's gotten away from us, but I don't think we ever had control of it, honestly. I like it when we all talk at the same time. Yeah, really good. That's the main tool in the podcaster's arsenal. Yeah, it's talking. Cool, let's none of us talk at once and really fix it.

We'll hit a lull. I'll piss in my mouth. Here we go. There we go. I could do it. You'd probably do it. I could do it. I couldn't do it.

Wait, that's amazing to think you could piss in your mouth. You mean like physically? But why do you think you could? Why are you so confident? My prostate isn't as stretched out as his. Oh, right. Yeah. Not yet.

He's a fucking dribble out of it. The knife is early. I need to do it in front of the dryer so it blows back. That's what it's there for. You have to set up like a Rube Goldberg machine For the piss And you guys said I'd never bring anything to the pod Bring heaps By the way there's a better podcast

At 7.30 Okay Where is it Brisbane somewhere Performing Arts Centre. That's the one. Go there. Yeah, it's like a proper place.

Okay, well, it couldn't be selling that well if you're pleading to these cunts. Oh, it's not? Yeah. Because of this fucking rugby bullshit. It's magic. We're all playing in the rugby. It's fucked is what it is. Yeah, yeah.

I agree. Oh, it's magic. I agree fucked is what it is. I agree. Oh, it's magic. I agree. You know. Okay. Dave, what were you telling us backstage? Oh, okay. Yeah, no.

I was impressed by your diversity, but you're lucky. Because I... Because I always thought my dad was Aboriginal. So you're basically on my land, you fuckers. Get off. I'll show you a photo he's quite dark my father was quite dark have a look where is he kev yeah kev he's passed away now so i did a dna test hoping o'neill you just need to brighten up your screen actually 100 what

just brighten up your screen that's yeah you've made a horrible but just pull up the picture of his dad that you have i don't have any photos if he photos I've got. What are you just talking about? How did you get to it so fast? Yeah, you are indigenous. Yeah, look, that's my dad with his shirt off. Why is he pissing in his own mouth? I don't know. From before.

So is this like from a porn? What's going on here? He was in Vietnam when that was taken. Did they have shirts in Vietnam? Yeah, fuck no. He was in the war. But anyway, whatever. He didn't kill anyone, apparently.

Pass the phone around, Dave, so we can all get a good look. Oh, that fucking guy will go straight to cash converters with my fucking iPhone. So your dad is Aboriginal, which means you voted no. No. I thought my dad was Aboriginal, but he didn't want to talk about it. Then he passed away. And I thought, I'm going to do a DNA test. And then I found out. What a weird set-up to whatever this is.

It's a good lesson. You've got to talk to future generations while they're still around and ask them things like, Dad, are you Aboriginal? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to talk about it! Someday it'll be too late. I just never came up when he was alive. Don't ask me that!

I was in NAMM! Here's the photo! Look! Put my shirt off! Anyway, no, he didn't know who his dad was and he's from a very remote part of Western Australia. So we're thinking he's Aboriginal and that could be good for my career. But, um...

Fuck it. Imagine what would happen for me! I'd love to see you doing a Welcome to Country that kicks off with hey poops. Hey poops. Mate. I'd get my own show on SBS. I'd be fucking away.

It'd be like Australian story. A show on SBS. That'd really buy you houses. Australian story. Anyway, the DNA test came back and it turns out he was half German. That's very different. Very close. Basically the same thing.

Like twin cities in a way. So what then happened was in Ancestrywhatever.com, the relatives, obscure relatives, send you messages. And the guy from Germany sent me a message and said, we have the same great-great-grandfather. And he was in the Luftwaffe. Adolf. Yeah.

Jesus Christ. Not only was my dad German, but we're fucking descendants of Nazis. What a... Oh, that makes sense. Are you a science experiment? What a fucking turnaround. This was the final solution.

Look at me. Oh, I'm still alive. I went looking for diversity and came back with Nazi heritage. That was awesome. This turned out really well for me. I was nervous at the beginning of that story, but I didn't know it was going to end with you being like, I'm basically a Nazi.

I think there's a few people in the room begging to go back to the good old days of talking about a man pissing into his own... Hey, piss. No, Neil can say anything. It doesn't matter. He says whatever the fuck and no one cares. It's crazy. Well, it makes sense because Dad collected Nazi memorabilia.

Sorry, wait. Sorry, wait. Because your dad... Hey. Because your dad collected Nazi memorabilia is why you get away with saying whatever the fuck you want. Hey, boys, guess what? I bought Hitler's car.

Dad, I've been meaning to ask. Do you have original? By the way, that's no way to describe Jewish skulls, by the way. You can't. You don't call that that. Even he's uncomfortable. The Queensland guy's head's walked out. You are the only white supremacist in the room.

He's out because we're not going hard enough. He's going, he's exiting. No, he's ringing the wizard. It's not an exit part and he's exiting through it. He's ringing Paul. Get down here. He did well. That was exceptional.

There was no room for an exit and he still left the room. That's how bad this show was. I'm calling it now. This will be unlistenable. So just go off, boys. We don't have to worry about the general public. He's ringing Pauline Hanson. We've found a new member for Gympie, Dave O'Neill.

He's got what we want. That's a redneck area. That guy that was too pissed to sit down is now at the bar. So that's good. That's good. He's pissing in his mouth. He just wants a cup. He doesn't want to order anything.

No, Dad had like, he collected war medals. The good guys too, but he had like at least six or eight. Oh, the good guys? The good guys also. The British and the Americans. Yes. The non-racial. I mean, that's debatable.

Yeah, we're still out on that one. We're not really sure. I love how desperate you are to hammer home this point. We keep moving off the Nazi memorabilia and you're like, just to remind you all, he also owned these items.

Yeah, but he's got about eight Nazi war medals in the back of his photo album. Yeah. And I said, what do you do with these? And he actually said,

well, sometimes for a laugh, I put one on and I wear it down the RSL and see if anyone notices it's a true he served this country

alright you guys he can wear the Panzer division down to the RSL and then there's one of the reasons you thought he was Aboriginal

because he always black faces oh yes Dad I've got to ask are you Chris Lilley a man's back with a beer Yes Dad I've got to ask Are you Chris Lilley? A man's back with a beer Good on you man

There we go It's got pretty spicy Since you left my friend I don't know if you heard What Dave said All the way from 15 metres away But it was pretty full on

I know when fucking Arch Barker makes The Daily Mail When there's someone With a baby in the crowd I won't make the Daily Mail saying I'm descendant of Nazis. And that's a good thing. What do you fucking have to do around here?

What do you want out of this story? Controversy. Right. An achievable goal. Yeah. You've got to smoke a meth pipe. Oh, yeah. In a car park.

Hungry Jack's somewhere. It did need to be Hungry Jack's, but you brought that in. I'll just look around to see if anyone had meth. Not looking at anyone. Anyway, whatever. Tom, have you got any meth? Only brought carry-on. Didn't have room for the meth.

Yeah, fair enough. That's check-in stuff. Settle for a vape. Yeah. So what percentage German are you? Yeah, well, Dad was half German, so that makes me a quarter. What was the other half? Yeah, English and British.

It was really boring. English and British. It's so weird because you look really, you know, indigenous. Yeah, I do. So I can see how you'd be confused and think, wow. You've sort of got the colours on, I guess. Yeah, you don't look German and English at all. Yeah.

Not even slightly. What's the big nightclub and high school in Germany? Yeah, good question. What is? Yeah. I'm going to have to go there. The Autobahn. Craft work. Great band. Yep.

Munich Technical College. There you go. Munich Tech. Well, this is going well. Is this at the end? Are we finished? Ordinarily, people leave the Nazi story until the end. It's hard to tell Ordinarily people Leave the Nazi story Till the end But it's the peak

This one we started up top It's tough to segue out of Isn't it? Yeah You got some ideas In your pockets? Yeah You got any stuff there?

Can you get us out of this Please Carl? No Do you want us to Indeed it? Because no one else Says anything And then so Dave

Just keeps talking About the Nazis So unless someone else Jumps in and says something You know how this is Your podcast And you can redirect us Anywhere you want to go says anything and then so Dave just keeps talking about the Nazis so unless someone else jumps in and says something you know how this is your podcast and you can redirect

us anywhere you want to go but it's hard after the Nazis some funny stuff happened on the plane but I don't know how

to fucking get from A to B so Carl I heard you were recently in Samui and did anything happen there Carl have you been to Thailand Carl you've pissed in your mouth no Samui and... Did anything happen there?

Carl, have you been to Thailand? Carl, you've pissed in your mouth. No, I haven't done that. I've pissed in my pants. I've pissed in other people's pants. Hang on. So Nazis, huh? Yeah, Nazis.

So, great-granddad in the Luftwaffe. Don't know what he did. We flew up here together on the same plane and I'm always fascinated about what people do on planes. Some people just get on them, they just raw dog it, stare at the back of the seat. Some people go in-flight entertainment. Some people bring an iPad with movies loaded up on it. I walked past Carl at one point.

He was sitting there watching videos of himself in Thailand on the beach. That is so fucking insane. That really is. I've heard a thousand things about Carl, and every time I learn a new thing about Carl on this show, it literally scares me. I was on the plane the other day, and this baby was losing its fucking mind,

and the parents were showing the baby videos of the baby to make it feel comfortable, and I was like, that's so fucking weird. That kid has no control over how big its ego is going to get. And then I think it turns into you. What videos were you watching of yourself? I was watching videos of myself

that I'd videoed drunk in Thailand and then I was watching them going, oh, that's what I did. We all have our own things to wank to. There's just one of them banging a dog. That's right. Just in his seat on the plane.

This is great. I like Garrett saying to Carl, you scare me when there's an actual Nazi up here. His dad was maybe a Nazi cosplayer. It's very different. Carl, I've been alone in a room with him. When my great-grandfather flew planes, there was none of that shit, I can tell you right nowplayer. It's very different. Carl, I've been alone in a room with before.

My great-grandfather flew planes. There was none of that shit, I can tell you right now, in the Luftwaffe. And we're back. That's why they're being Nazi. No one fucking masturbate on these planes. Exactly. That's why they were so angry.

Well, I tried to get us out of there. Right back where we started. How many hours of video have you got of yourself on the beach in Costa Rica? I don't know, man. I was actually just trying to make room on my phone, but then I was going through the videos of me in Thailand and went, well, I can't delete any of these. These are all precious.

Who knows when I'll get another chance to get some of these. I mean, I do three weeks time, but whatever. Three weeks? Yeah. Three weeks until we're back, hey? Yeah, Dave's ready to come oh fuck

this one's gonna be a banger I've got three weeks to find a better gig yes well you are actually coming Harley is actually

coming this time I am actually coming oh you are yeah I'm coming I'll be there Dave's gonna be there yeah I'll be there

I never miss one you I can't make it you'll probably buy a last minute yeah well that's my turn yeah

that's how the podcast works I can't go I've got'll probably bail last minute. Yeah, well, that's my turn, yeah. That's how the podcast works. I can't go. I've got a meeting. So anyway, what am I doing? Who with? I can't say. The German alliance of Australians.

Right. It's officially a theme. I feel bad about lumping this on you, but you brought it up. I don't care. Go for it. He wants it. Classic Nazi. Yeah I don't care. Go for it. He wants it. Classic Nazi. Yeah.

Doesn't care. Speaking of babies, I got called into an emergency parent-teacher interview the other day. I have a child. How old? Five years old. Total shithead, huh? I assume there was a meeting with the parent-teacher. I assume it was bad.

At five? That's unusual. I know. This is like the start of term two. But this one, you can see how I would sour early. No. Were you deleting photos and videos of her to make room for more personal videos?

Without question. I mean, babies walk all the time. I don't eat the first one. Look at me eating sand. First words, it didn't make sense. You can barely understand it anyway. The wife probably has that one too. Accidentally share your videos to the school iPad or something?

Is that what happened? No, no. It's happened before. No. Not to you. Not to me. No, no, no. What's this Nazi picture doing on my iPad? No, I got called in because it was like term two.

So what's that? It's about like fucking five, six, seven, eight weeks in the school of prep. Do you call it prep up here? Is it called prep? Yeah, prep. Do you guys have school up here? Well, if you look in the front row. And then you're finished.

How to cook math, that sort of thing. Yeah. So I got called in and the emergency meeting was a little blanket. She's a fair bit behind in school already Sorry, just to be clear You dress like Michael Jackson And refer to your baby as Michael Jackson's child's name? What's going on with you, dude?

Are you okay? I'm alright He's definitely not okay No, he's not okay There's no podcast without him Let's clear that up A normal car does not result in a dum-dum podcast. Anyway, Michael, what was going on?

No, that's not my name. He moonwalked into the school. Sorry, what? No. Okay, I get it. No, little blanket's way behind at school. That's because she's constantly got a blanket over her head. She can't fucking see anything.

Dad's in court all the time. Dad's always spending time with other children. Dad's busy deciding what videos he can have in his phone again. I'm Carl's Macaulay Culkin. Well, this is going to be a great ep. Nazis and pedophilia. Hell yeah. Hey.

We're back. All right, so Blanket, your child. Blanket, my child. No, they said she's way behind. And we got called in. We got sort of the stern word from the teacher going, she's so far behind the other children in terms of reading and writing and stuff. Do you read to her at night?

Well, I didn't know I was mentioned. Watch her show her videos. There's Daddy on the Beach. You didn't know you were meant to? You didn't know you were meant to. You've got to read to her at night? Well, I didn't know I was meant to. I'll just show her videos. There's Daddy on the Beach. You didn't know you were meant to? You've got to read to her. What the fuck do you do with her at night? She's got an iPad. Jesus Christ.

Listen, send them my house. I'll do better than you. What's fucking another one on how many iPads? No, but the teacher's like, she's not reading and writing to the level she should be. She's way behind and whatever. And I'm like, cool. That's really, you know, a bit concerning

for you. You're the fucking teacher. Oh, nice. That's how you do it. That's how you do it. Isn't this what it is? Does the teacher know? No, I'm with him on this. You're busy planning a podcast festival. The teacher's job is to teach him how to read. The parent's job is to look at himself on his phone.

I can't. Thank you. You do read to your child, though, don't you? Yeah, but... Every night. Dumb, dumb reviews, aren't they? Dumb, dumb reviews. The teacher goes, this is what the teacher said,

the teacher goes, literally said, because you're trying to do it in a nice way and everything, and then she got to a point where she just stopped and went. And then I showed her a bunch of numbers and she had no idea. Your child can spell pad see you and that's it. We've got to get cat and dog in the vocab for God's sakes. See dad get on a plane. See dad go to Thailand.

See dad sit on the beach. Where's Mummy? Where's Blanket? Not fucking there. That's where Mummy and Blanket are. You should write a book, mate. I should write a book. Not see Dad.

Sorry, that's your dad. Never mind, sorry. Not see Dad. Yeah, see Dad. So just to be clear, you're angry with everyone but you. That's right. Right. And you're a good dad.

I send the kid to school, the place where you learn stuff. Right, the place where you learn stuff. And then the teacher says, the kid hasn't learned anything. Why is that on me? Yeah, I agree. No, I mean... The home should not be where you learn stuff. No.

No, no, no, no. What? Nobody learns at home. Yes. So the kid goes to school and then she comes home and she lays face down on the fucking floor for eight hours. Yes. And you roll her into the bed and then she goes back to school and then she comes home and she lays face down on the fucking floor for eight hours. Yes. And you roll her into the bed and then she goes back to school. Home is where your weird doctor gives you sleep drugs for the rest of your life.

No, that's not a thing. Until you almost die. No, no. In between molestation trials. You're mixing me up with Michael Jackson again. This is me we're talking about. Sorry. This is me.

Back to the Nazis. Anyway, my dad taught us stuff at home The difference between the Gestapo How did you come up with a story sadder than the Nazi thing? Yeah exactly What's your secret Pockets? But they go But they go

Do you know this other thing? Then they go What you should be doing is You should be bringing your kid to this thing That's like at four o'clock For a couple of hours And then Remedial What's the term for it? Does anyone know? It's called Chandlering No is you should be bringing your kid to this thing that's like at four o'clock for a couple of hours and then it costs this much.

What's the term for it? Does anyone know? It's called chandlering. No. It's called remedial. It's another thing. It used to be called remedial. They go, you bring your kid to this after

and then they learn to read and write. Why don't? Because you're busy walking your chimp at that time. No, no. Bubbles. Bubbling. Taking turns to poo in the street. Your turn, Bubbles.

It's called extra lesson for the stupids. Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah. That's all right. So you forgot about extra lesson. But they go, she goes, if you send your kid to this, then the kid gets to learn how to read and write.

I'm like, oh, yeah, like that thing called fucking school that we're at right now. Isn't that what it's supposed to be? Yeah, but I think there's a whole thing in here that you're missing, which is what's best for my child? Yeah. Yeah. And it's not hilarious. What's hilarious is you're like, fuck school. Yes.

That's like... This could be a new record. Term two of prep and there's already a photo of you up in the teacher's lounge. Amazing. Yeah. Amazing. Yes. That's like this could be a new record. Term two of prep and there's already a photo of you up in the teacher's lounge. Amazing. Yeah. Amazing.

Yeah. So anyway, we've turned it around. So since that, since I got the the scolding at school. Yep.

This is like a week and a half ago. So you've turned it around? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. It's like fucking boot camp for like the letter W

and the number eight at home at the moment. It's fucking crazy. So morning and night. We had boot camp. Anyway, go on. Oh, fuck me. Jesus Christ.

Dust boot camp. Yeah, dust boot. Okay, Blanket, today's lesson. One, two, three, ask. What do you do if there's an S missing? What's after AS4? That's a good joke. So you take her to this

extra curriculum? No, we're not doing that. I'm doing it myself. You're doing it yourself? So morning and night, we are fucking on it. It says one, two, three, ass. We are fucking on it. And now, the aim is by the end of the year, Blanket's going into grade three next year. We are fucking on it. That's good. And now, the aim is by the end of the year, Blanket's going into grade three next year.

We are fucking on it. We are fucking on it. Skip a grade. I'm going to take on new students. I'm fucking killing it now. Oh, Carl's school. Jesus, Michael, relax. Time for today's lesson.

I opened a school. I got school. That's actually a bad quote. I opened my own school. As many kids as can get inside are allowed. You're going to buy a ranch. For people at home, that's not my voice. That's Gareth's.

Hi, it's me, Kyle. That's not me. That's not me. Kyle invested in a lot of pockets. For people at home, I slayed. I got blankets and pockets. This is Kyle talking now. That's where you live.

Okay, kids, repeat after me. Beat it. Just beat it. Beat it. Yeah, that's where you live at Never Laughs Ranch. Yeah, yeah. And some of my greatest work has been called bad, so yeah. I did hear you were on the phone after we landed

and you were talking to Blanket and you were like, now, yeah, I'm getting you some presents from up here in Brisbane and I'll bring them back for you, but I need to hear from Mummy that you've been practising your reading and writing, otherwise these presents are going in the bin. That's actually what I said. It's such a visceral thing. Is that true? Not just like

you won't get them, they are going to be incinerated. Carl, this is not going well. So you brought up a thing that the child didn't know about and then said, and I will destroy the thing that I just told you about. Amazing. Good parenting, Carl. The blue is in the bin.

The blue book is in the bin. Do you know what a cunt is? Hey, I've got a kid. I think I do. I don't like cunts. Cunts are for me. Love it. People are missing that Gareth is focusing on I have extra pockets in my pants.

A cunt's like a pocket that God made on a lady. Are they cargo pants or what are they? I don't know what they are. They're not even confident enough to be cargo pants. It's a cargo pants pocket. Show everyone what you're dealing with. In case war breaks out with the Gold Coast tonight, we're fucking ready. Look at this.

This is shocking. What they are. Do you have anything in them? No. No. Presents that I'm not going to give my child that I said exist. Yeah. The child remains of a bluey book.

I've got to say, your parenting is going exactly as I expected it to. When I heard you were going to have a kid. It's always weird because I'm like, I couldn't have a kid. And then I hear you talk and I'm like, I could have five kids. I would be like such a good dad. Absolutely. I could have a Harley, stable.

My kid will be in grade five next year. She's going to be fucking killing me. Accelerated. Accelerated. What? You need to smack the ball. I need to smack. You need to smack.

Here we are. I know who I need to smack. There's Queensland. You've got to fucking hit them. Yeah, hit them. It's the last state in Australia you can still punch your kid. It is. That's Queensland. You've got to fucking hit him. Yeah, hit him. It's the last state in Australia you can still punch your kid. It is. That's good.

That's why I moved back. That's good. That's great. The Queensland audience has been like, this story is infuriating. Why is he just flogging his head? Fucking hit him. That guy's head is wobbling so much. I know smack is involved.

Not in that way, though, sir. Oh, nice. And you don't have children, do you, sir? Not anymore. I think they're at cash converters. In the car park. I used to. You don't have any kids now?

So what are you getting her to practice reading and writing with? This is the best. Are you explaining to people who everyone is? Is there somebody at the bar can get me a beer? Because something's happening here and I think we're going to be not talking. Are you explaining to your girlfriend who everyone is?

Is that what you're doing? You're doing it in a really subtle way, which the performers appreciate. When you're pointing out like we're planets in the solar system. You know Tommy? Yeah. And you know Carl? I'm Jimmy. This is Dave O'Neill.

You don't know me? That's Harley Breen. Dave's a Nazi. Harley can't stop coming. He's got eight children. Carl shouldn't be a parent. He's from America. Dave's dad was an alcoholic.

And I want to go home with you. So that's who we all are. That's the sign of someone very familiar with the show where she goes, I know who you are and who you are without using one name. That's Carl. I'm glad you got up front for using one name. That's Kyle. I'm glad you got up front for your favourite podcast. What a gentleman. He's like, she's not laughing at any of the pedophile gear. It must be because she

doesn't know their names. Yeah, yeah. She needs more context. Oh, it's Kyle, it's Michael Jackson. She might work for Child Protective Services and is like, who's that one who's a horrible dad? Who's Pockets? Yeah, hey.

Pockets. Last week she didn't know how to spell hat. This week, fucking she's all over it. Who, her? No, no. Oh, your dog.

Or your blanket. Yeah, my blanket. My little blanket, yeah. By the way, she's five. She doesn't need to read, mate. It's fine. No, she doesn't. It really genuinely doesn't.

They really don't. Oh, what do you mean? They absolutely do not need to read at five. It's a fucking bullshit beat up by the school. Oh, she doesn't. It really genuinely doesn't. They really don't. What do you mean? They absolutely do not need to read at five. It's a fucking bullshit beat up by the school. Oh, it's a conspiracy. She will just figure it out. Believe me, I have a million children. As long as you're

reading to them and they're hearing... Well, he's not doing that. They don't need to. I feel like I'm in a Steiner classroom in Queensland. He's a lame. All of my kids go to Steiner. Oh, fuck on you. As long as you're explaining what the videos you like of yourself are to her every night

before she goes to bed, she'll pick up. You know what you should do is put captions on your videos and then read those to her. That's good. My wife has a conspiracy theory because I bet it's going to be a really rational normal theory. I'm so worried right now.

She thinks, because my daughter keeps going to my wife and saying, when can we go to Koh Samui again? And she thinks I'm making her say it, and I'm actually not. No one here believes that. I know. As I'm saying it out loud, I realise that it sounds unbelievable,

but I actually am not making her do it. You just went last week? Is that right? Yeah. Did you get a really discount rate at the hotel because you're bringing them business? For the one that we're going to, for the festival, you mean?

But for the one you just went to? No. No, you didn't? No. Wow. You're such a conniving bitch. I thought you would totally work that out. No, no, no.

I'm very generous over there. I'm a big tipper. I'm nice to the work that out. No, no, no. I'm very generous over there. I'm a big tipper. I'm nice to the people. He's got videos of him tipping. Show him. They call him the big white man. Did you bring back blanket any? I mean, tipping, they call it tipping over here.

We call it bubbling here, but whatever. Did you bring blanket any presents from Costa Moya or did they all go in the bin? Wait, your family didn't go with you? Why would they? Why would they all go in the bin? Wait, your family didn't go with you? I don't know. Why would they? Why would they? You took the solo trip?

No. Well, he goes to see his Thai family over there. That's what we all think. He's got a Thai blanket. If you can think of a better way to get cheap pyjamas, I'd like to hear it.

No, no, no. Oh, fuck, this one can't read either. This one can't speak English either, just like the one back home. This one's got better English than Blanketed. No, I went for work. Research, asshole.

He's figuring out how to do a festival that he's done eight times. So you went for research, but then there's all these videos of you drunk. Dave, Carl, I'll handle this. Thank you. Dave. I don't know what's so fucking complicated, okay?

He's only done this festival eight times. He's working out the kinks. He goes there to get test blackout to see what it's going to be like when he's professionally getting blackout. Exactly. Exactly. That's fair. Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

Someone gets it finally. Fuck, man. It's just like everyone's coming at you when you're being rational and normal. And I'm a little sick of it. You just have to handle Gareth publicly accusing you of being a pedophile, and then he'll stick up for you. Yeah. We got there.

We got there full circle. Thank you. The last time we did the podcast together, me and Gareth, you were taking trips without your wife and kid. Oh, my God, Dave. And it was causing a little bit of weird tension. So now have you broken your wife? It's called business trips.

It was a business trip. My wife insisted on it. She insisted Carl leave. In Carl's defense, that's the way the story goes. Honestly, she was the one that said you should probably go over. She's been indoctrinated.

Never come back. Do a festival year round. She's like, if you don't learn how to read, I'm going to throw daddy in the bin. Honestly, man, that's what she says. This is word for word what she said.

When I went, I said, I'll get you a present if you're really good. I said, what would you like? Is this your wife you're talking to? No, no, no, no, no, no. This is the masseuse. As I was going, she's like, okay, you're going, you're going away for a holiday. I said, no, for work. Everyone's got the same fucking idea.

I don't know why. It's such bullshit. It's stupid. Just because you're going there and getting drunk for two weeks. Fuck. I don't want people drinking. This is the beach of Thailand. Exactly.

Who wants to go over? Fuck, I'm just sick of this. This is the beach of Thailand. Exactly. Who wants to go over there? Fuck. I'm just sick of this shit. Keep going, amigo. Thank you. So I'm leaving, and I say to Blanket, if you're good, I will bring you back a present. And I said, what would you like? A new dad.

She said, a new daddy. Wow. Fuck, yeah. It's fair. Wow. It's fair. This kid rules. When can you have the kid on the podcast?

She's pretty funny. But I was worried she was dumb. Yeah. She's experiencing relationships at an eighth grade level. She's street smart. She's not academic smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what did you say to that?

I said, you've now done that joke ten times. You're a Chandler. I'm starting to take it seriously. She just says it all the time now. There have been multiple things that are either throwaways or little jokes to you

that parts of me are dying inside every time you say them. There's some real enormous warning signs happening and you're not seeing any of them. They seem cute to me. I want a new daddy. He's like, you old kid.

They can be so sincere. Just standing, crying in the driveway alone. I want a new daddy. I want a new daddy. Look at her. The absent father is a worry. My dad was in Vietnam for a year. Look at her. The absent father is a worry. My dad was in Vietnam for a year. Look at me.

Thailand's your Vietnam, basically. I'm worried your dad wasn't there during a war and was just killing people. Last year on a Contiki tour, as we say. Congrats, though. Thank you, man. It's awesome to hear. She's reading. She's reading the room. It's good. Yeah, she's reading. Congrats, though. Thank you, man. It's awesome to hear.

She's reading. She's reading. She's reading in the room. It's good. Yeah, yeah, she's reading. Hopefully the mom can save her, you know? Yeah. One good parent can save them, actually. One good parent.

Yeah, yeah, one good parent can do it. Savage. You know, I've got parents here. I thought I'd get parenting tips from you guys. It's all this negative. I'd stop now. Move to Thailand. Wait's all this negative. I'd stop now. Move to Thailand. Wait till they're teenagers.

Fucking hell. Go to Thailand. Oh, that's the fucking worst. My son said the other day, I was trying to give him advice. He goes, I'm getting advice from a clown, everyone. Fuck off.

Fucking clowns are good. Don't knock clowns. You fucking hell. I'll get Nazi Grandad out. Here we go. All right. Talk to him if you want. I'm so grateful to have a teenager. I didn't

know I didn't know anything. Exactly. Teenagers are cool. Mine does say are you going on your empty theatre tour? That's what you've got to look forward to, Carl. Theatre sounds good. Empty theatre. I've gone off for an empty room to you, Carl. Theater sounds good. Theater, man.

I've gone up from an empty room to an empty theater. Nice. Don't embarrass yourself, Dad. That's what my son says. That's good advice. But then you came up and told the Nazi story. Exactly. He'll get cancelled at uni.

This is good. Awesome. We did. Now, look, we had a thing is good. Awesome. We did... Now, look, we had a thing in Melbourne this year. We did a bunch of live shows in Melbourne and what we did... Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Appreciate your support in the last half of this podcast.

The empty basement tour. We did a bunch of shows where we had an audition for a show we had called Worst of Melbourne Comedy and we auditioned this young guy called Abishek and he Abishek he did stand up on the first of four episodes

and he did stand up and we all sat behind him and we commented on what he was doing and then he said after the show basically it was organised bullying

listen listen and then after the show he messaged us to say can I please come and do it again the same set? And then we said, that's so insane that absolutely yes.

So for four weeks in a row, he came and did the same exact stand-up set in front of us, and we made fun of it and made extra jokes and whatever. Just to be clear, you were shitting on someone else's stand-up. That was me, Kyle Chandler. Okay, I just want to make sure I understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you.

I did it as well. Were you wearing pyjamas? No, no, no. Did you give him that advice you wearing pajamas? No, no, no, no. Did you give him that advice at any point? No, no, no. Wear a fireman's costume. That's how you do stand-up. No, okay.

Congratulations on all the people that Ben and Gareth bring up a pajamas reference, and well done on your $1.01 return on $1. So, you tried to throw me off by dressing in an outfit that Michael Jackson was buried in, but I'm not taking your bait. Well, it's crazy to find something worse to wear in public than pajamas. So,

we did that every week, right? Sure. And this guy's okay? Four weeks. Well, he did the gig. Okay, keep going. How long is this set? Like five minutes, maybe. Okay. And so then, we did it for four weeks. You guys loved it, yeah? Well, of course we weren't going to fly them to Queensland.

So then we thought, why would we sell ice to the Eskimos? We can't bring a bad open mica to Queensland when Queensland is full of them. Yes. So then we decided we wanted to source a bad open mica from Queensland and we can do the same sort of gig. Oh, cool. Is that cool with you guys? Yeah, no, that sounds great.

Are you guys excited by that or not really at all? So before we get it, should we get the theme music going for this segment? Can we get that Worcester Melbourne theme music going, please? Is this when you bring your child out? Whoever's coming out, I don't know if you're nervous or not, but I cannot emphasize this enough. Nothing has meant less in your career. Yeah, there we go.

Let's pump it. Let's pump it. Let's pump it right up. Can we do the welcome dance? I think we might just look for a little bit, you know? Okay, all right. Let people appreciate it. Someone's dancing.

People are dancing. This is now the Ellen show. It's good. Are you just going to play an episode of Seinfeld? That would be cool. Now, please welcome to the stage, I think this is it. This is the time we do it. Please welcome to the stage, Nick Carr.

Thanks for having me, guys. Hey, Dave. Hey, Gary. Hi, Nick. Hi, Holly. Hi, Dave. Get on with me, guys. Hey, Dave. Hey, Gary. Hi, Nick. Hey, Harley. Hey, Dave. Get on with it, mate. Guys, we need to move the seats back.

There's not enough room. He's bigger than I remember. Well, he's going to piss in his own mouth, right? I did. I was the plan to come out pissing in my mouth, but I did too many practice runs in the green room. Stop backing up on me, cunt. I'll fucking fight you.

Welcome to Queensland. That's good. Hang on, I've just got to readjust for this because when we did it in Melbourne, Abishek didn't cast quite a shadow as much as this. It's not nice, is it? It's not. When I picked him up from the airport,

we got about five minutes in, and Tommy's like, hey man, got an idea for you on the pod today. I'm like, oh great, am I getting naked, or is Carl going to piss in my mouth or something? What demeaning thing am I going to do? Just stand up, sick. Hey Nick, we're not here to hear your new shit, mate.

Just fucking get... My bad. Yes. It's not called the worst of Melbourne life stories. It's the shit you guys do to not pay for a ride From the fucking airport Go on with your stand up anecdotes His last name's Carr

You're like he'll drive us Look that licence plate's bum Follow him Yeah yeah you could have started five minutes ago But whatever Has someone put the dishwasher on? That means it's going good Yeah, thanks man

Yeah, life's A lot of roller coasters in life A lot of ups and downs Here's one For me For me, they're mostly downs Going downs. Anyway, no.

No. Yeah, no. A lot of ups and downs. Sometimes I get bowed a lot. I board a lot. I get bored a lot. I get bored a lot. I don't know what that means.

Stand-ups are really easy, Dave. No. No, I get bored a lot. And sometimes when I'm bored, I like to go places I don't know what that means. Stand-ups are really easy, Dave. No, I get bored a lot. And sometimes when I'm bored, I like to go places I don't normally go. Sounds familiar. Yeah. When does he start? Sorry.

The other day I tried somewhere new. I went to a certain type of bank. It was a very... No, not that sort of bank you perverts. No, we do a very specific type of bank. It's a weird bank where you still make a lot of withdrawals and very specific types of deposits. It's not what you think. It's actually called Carl's Mouth. Oh, my God. That's good stuff. Oh, my God. I've seen enough.

Who does the closer up top? That's good stuff. Imagine coming in my mouth. I get it. Oh, you get it. Pretty good. Yeah, you get it, baby. Yeah. I don't want to do anyone else's bit anymore. Can I just do mine? Yeah, do your bit. Yeah. Oh, you get it. Pretty good, yeah. You get it, baby. Yeah. I don't want to do anyone else's bit anymore.

Can I just do mine? Yeah, do your bit. Yeah. Oh, was that not your bit? No, that wasn't my bit. That's the other bit. Oh, fuck, that was good. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, couldn't you tell I got a big pop at the end? Yeah, yeah, got a good laugh, yeah. You get a big pop in your mouth, can't you? There we go. From before. From before, yeah, no. I'm actually, I't you? There we go. From before. From before, yeah. I'm actually, I don't know, I'm speaking to banks. I'm really scared of inflation. Fuck, I can see it right here.

Have you guys heard about this inflation? It's getting out of control. It's crazy. It's scary. I was at a family dinner the other day, and I've got a six-year-old cousin, and she comes up and tells me that the other day she got $20 from the tooth fairy for one tooth. Yeah, that's bloody, that's out of control, man. $20 for a tooth, man. That's a lot for a tooth. That's so much. We agree with you, Nick. Yeah, thanks, man. It's good. No, it's $20. And as soon as I heard that, I went, $20 for a tooth? That's crazy.

When I was a kid, we were lucky to get $2 for a tooth. And then my auntie goes, $2 for a tooth? When I was a kid, we were lucky to get 20 cents for one tooth. And then my nan goes, 20 cents for a tooth? When I was a kid, we used to own black people. So... I don't know, man. Hang on. This is not your bit either.

This is Dave O'Neill's bit, mate. It's crushing with the Nazi part of it. Do your own bit, man. If I remember correctly, you're from Toowoomba? Yeah. So is that ironic or just a joke? No, it's true. She's still got the photo.

She's never really given up. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. $ don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. $20 for a tooth. That's crazy, right?

Like, that is crazy. And then everyone at the dinner starts thinking I'm the cunt when I start pulling out her other teeth. Like, I've got bills to pay, man. Like, electricity's expensive. I don't know. Fuck. You know, his family's living in, like, hard-working family's living in tents and these fucking six-year-old pigtailed turds running around getting $20 for a turkey.

Fuck that. Not on my watch. What do you reckon I get for a leg? No, I don't. No, I'm sorry. It's a weird joke. I'm sorry. I don't want to.

I don't know. People get weird about it, but don't worry. She's not one of the hot ones. She's a fucking munter. The look on Dave's face. I couldn't even hear what he said. It was good.

It was like Australian gibberish. Is that it? I can do more. We need to take a moment for the guy on the front row to explain to his girlfriend who Nick Carr is. And then maybe we can resume. I want to have kids one day. We need to take a moment for the guy on the front row to explain to his girlfriend who Nick Carr is. And then maybe we can resume.

I want to have kids one day. Okay, there's more. You definitely shouldn't. I shouldn't? You look like you're having them now. Nah, you're alright, mate. There we go. Good on ya.

Your mouth looks pregnant, Carr. It's got me again. It's got me again. It's got me again. Oh, hey. Not cool for it. No, yeah, I want to have kids, but I'm worried I'm not grown up enough to have kids. Like, I'm worried I don't have what it takes to keep a child alive. Did you hear Carl? Like, anyone can do it.

Do you actually like Carl's child? He's fucking given up anyway. Just have his. Yeah, she's hotter than my cousin, so all right. No, no. No. Fucking hell. I don't know.

Get back the mongoose into a corner. It's a lot of pressure. The mongoose? Yeah. I don't know. Anyway, I'm worried about what it takes to keep a child alive. Because growing up, my dad, he, he was a man's man. Like, he knew how to fix things.

He could build stuff. Me, on the other hand, I still don't really get how a rain gauge works. Yes. Like, I was talking to this farmer the other day, and he goes, we had 38 mils of rain last week. I don't really know what the fuck that means. So I'm like, all right, what if I put it in terms that I can understand, so me and this farmer, we can have a conversation.

So I was like, all right, 38 mils. I know I was good at maths at school. I know that one mil is the same as a gram. One gram works out to about two joints. 38 by two. Holy shit, that's nearly 80 joints, dude. That's a shitload of rain. Dave O'Neill looks like he's relating to the farmers

because he looks like he wants to kill himself. I'm enjoying it. Thanks, man. I'm enjoying it. Anyway, yeah. And then the next line of the joke goes... You're actually not supposed to say that Ordinarily you don't say that out loud

It's sort of implied I'm into this man No, there's stage notes you don't put in your Even Blanket knows that Also, ignore the young lady in the front row checking her watch Anyway, yeah The next line is like... We literally just talked about this. I was like...

We know it's the next line. We know it's not the last line again. What's the line after the next line? I was like, 80 joints. Skip a line. That's like 80 joints. You must have been fucking starving. Wait, which line was this?

I don't know. Was that the next line? Yeah, that was the next line. I think the next line is where she keeps going, by the way. Yeah. That is the eighth leave during your set. Who, one of the old lines? One of the old lines?

Well, I was trying to go back. Okay, well, I was like, all right. Well, okay, I was like 38 by 2. Holy shit, that's like 80 joints, dude. You must have been starving. I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to put this guy through to the final.

Thank you very much. You're going to the final. You're going to Hollywood. Yeah, can you turn your chairs around? That guy's talking about a final solution, though, so it's not exactly... Well, Nick, this has been wonderful, but I am going to have to insist that we do some comedy at some stage.

That was great. Nick Carr, everybody. Thank you, Nick Carr. has been wonderful, but I am going to have to insist that we do some comedy at some stage. All right. That was great. Nick Carr, everybody. Thank you, Nick Carr. Good work. Good work, Nick. Toowoomba's favourite son, everybody. I enjoyed it. Wow.

I loved it. I loved it. All right. Should we wrap this up, or do you want to do our one other thing? Should we do the other thing? Do it. Do it. Yeah, let's do it.

All right, let's do one more thing do our one other thing? Should we do the other thing or not? Do it. Do it. Let's do one more thing. Can I vote no? I say go as long as possible, because I'm avoiding going home to my children. The old Chandler. I've got a show at 6.30 at the Powerhouse. It'll be a lot of... Well, it's more like a rally.

But anyway, come on. Followed by a rally. But anyway, come on. Followed by a parade. Hang on, where is it? At the white powerhouse? Yes. In the underground theatre, as I call it, the bunker. Dave, I've been meaning to say I love your paintings. They're really good.

You should have gone down that path. I know. All right. Can we cue up the theme music for a little thing that we like to call Rad Dad? Oh, Rad Dad. Oh, okay. Oh, wow. What?

All right. Love Rad Dad. We've got lines. I thought this guy was dead. You guys will have this in your email. Oh, we do? Yeah. Can I get it in there?

I didn't bring my phone on stage because I'm working. Do I need my phone? Yeah, kind of. Keep playing the song. Yeah, yeah, keep the song going. Word to your mother. That will cover the fact that we haven't got our lines in front of us. Well, I'll hand you my phone when it comes to your line.

I can go out the back or I can't be fucked being out here anyway. I'll hand you my phone when it comes to your line. I can go out the back or I can't be fucked being out here anyway. Dave's logging into Optus webmail to get the script out. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Oh, fuck, I've got to update Microsoft. Shit. Wow, Jenny, here we are in Brisbane for the best weekend of the year.

It's amazing how many talented people are in town. You mean for the NRL magic round where all the rugby league teams in Australia all play at once so there's millions of people here? What's the NRL? I mean Regurgitator, the Super Jesus and Jebediah are all playing this weekend. Ah, so that's why it's so busy. So many entertainment options. Every hotel is booked out.

Flights weren't cheap. So many stupid male Queensland bogans who have already made plans. It's the kind of weekend where you'd have to be a complete fucking idiot to schedule in any other kind of event that attracts the same demographic, like, say, a live podcast. You said it, Tommy. I mean Jenny. Anyway, to get back to the flimsy conceit of this episode,

dozens of old bands from the 90s are in Brisbane on the same weekend. The streets are lined with daggy old Gen X white men, completely out of touch with how people should talk and behave in the modern world. Oh, hey, here's one now. Hey, poofs. To be fair, that's pretty woke for Queensland. I wrote this bit on the plane and I shrunk the font right down when I got to that line.

What a weekend. I've just seen Spiderbait and now I'm off to catch 28 Days. Plus, I've managed to squeeze in a corporate gig for Sizzler. I love Queensland. I love 4X. The beer? No, the size of the shirt. Bit tight but still good.

And it's a brown shirt. I added that bit. Hugo Boss. Yeah, Hugo Boss. Fucking hell. Apparently there's also some stand-up comedy happening up here this weekend. Hang on, what's that over there? It's some haggard-looking man.

And it looks like he's wearing pyjamas? I walked past a cafe the other day and there was an item on the menu that caught my eye. Hey! A duck sandwich. It made me sad in a way because I thought, finally that duck is surrounded by bread and is in no position

to enjoy it. Wow! Oh. That's good shit. It says here on the poster that this show is called the worst of Brisbane comedy. to enjoy it. Wow! That's good shit. It says here on the poster that this show is called The Worst of Brisbane Comedy. No, I believe that's just called Brisbane Comedy.

Hey, cool pyjamas, man. Great angle. And that was an amazing joke. You sound like a well-rounded comedian and person. I'm really not, but you can say that again. I wear pyjamas.

I don't know what size pants I wear. I get paid for bombing at my stand-up shows in coins. I bought a filing cabinet when I was seven years old. And I'm in a secret gay relationship with a Serbian gunrunner. Hey, hey, hey, he went to Maryborough High. At least he went to a public school. What nightclub did you go to in Maryborough? The Bull and Mouth?

Or maybe it's the NRL Player and Mouth. The Cambrian? The Railway? Wow, with crazy stories like that, you must be able to draw crowds of almost double figures to what you perform. Funny you should say that. I host the podcast that is listened to by a veritable smorgasbord

of virgins and outcasts. In fact, here's one of our biggest fans right here. Hello! Hello! I love the tiny bum-bum club with Timmy and Colin. I'd never miss an episode. The one where Timmy talked about having childhood Munchausens and when Colin finally proposed to please tell me her name.

Ah, it's good stuff from earlier on. Alright, well, that'll do. All that remains is for me to say something like I want to suck off Fronte. Oh, frante. Alright, Dad! And that's what it's like to be part of a cult.

You can watch videos of yourself on the beach, or you can write that. That's your options for the flight to Brisbane. Clearly there was a lot of videos being watched. All right. We've got to wrap it up there for another episode of Little Dumb Dumb Club. Big round of applause.

Thank you to our guests, Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, Harley Breen, Dave O'Neill. See you, poops. And Nick Carr. Thanks very much for listening

and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. And they've done it again. Good luck in hindsight, guys. Hope it was a good listen. Seemed pretty chaotic on the night, so hope it sounded all right. Yeah, a lot of stuff going on. Not helping Dave Anthony, just walking out to start with

and completely throwing us. But, yeah, he was a bit of a surprise guest to us as well, even though they thought, oh, yeah, he's just coming. It's like, well, that's not what you said. You said he might come. We had enough stools out for if he turned up. And I did think this is actually pretty funny if he doesn't come and we're just out there and would we have just addressed

that there was one stool too many? Yeah, yeah. Would we have thrown him that there was one stool too many? Yeah, yeah. Would we have thrown him under the bus and said, this guy said he might come, so we put a stool out for him and he hasn't come, so now we're up here looking like cunts. Yes. So, fun times. Thanks for coming out.

Brisbane. Up and back in the day, whirlwind trip to Brisbane. Jesus Christ. How did it treat you? Yeah, so we didn't stay there because we were in said magic round in the midst of it. So hotel rooms were $700 or something. So we went up and back.

I was fucking wrecked by the end of it. I was tired, but I fucking loved it. Oh, did you? I loved just, yeah, waking up at home. I truly, I probably would have just come back that night anyway, even if it, like I was already thinking, oh, I can get away with just doing a day with this, even without the cost of the hotel. Just waking up Sunday morning, back in the own bed. Oh, great.

Big day, but yeah. I was talking to a friend of mine and he was like, I guess it's not that hard, is it? You're just kind of like sitting in Ubers and sitting in planes for most of the day. It's like, yeah, I mean, look, when you put it like that, sure, but give it a try and see how you go. Yeah, yeah. Because look, when you put it like that, sure, but give it a try and see how you go. Yeah, yeah. Because it's not just that. It's like, yeah, being at the airport is like, it's stressful.

You know, it's work. It's like you're making sure you're there on time. You're going through security. You're doing all this stuff. You find the gate. It's like it is a taxing day. Yeah. Yeah, I was at a show late the night before, then up early to do that.

Then that is a long, long day. And then it was like me at home at 11 o'clock or something like that. And then the next morning I had to get up and the fam drove up to see mum and dad. And on the way home, everyone was very cold in the car because it was windows down. Wind the windows up, dad. No. It's either this or we crash.'m going to fall asleep yeah okay you need we need all the windows down sorry everyone put your coats on i um i had one of the greatest

victories of my life i got an uber from the airport uh got into the uber ordered a pizza on uber eats and got home at the exact same time as the pizza wow fucking just timed it beautifully yeah you got you know what you made me get a late night uh bit of pizza because you were talking about that on the way back i just got it in my head like i think even the night before i was thinking about i'm like oh what am i gonna do for dinner because it's like getting home in a bit of a weird time and then i was like you know what this pizza place i like that's always open late that's going to be my little

long day that's going to be my little light at the end of the tunnel my little treat when I get home yeah yeah I went to this you know what I did

I got a I did the sky bus got into the city and then went you know what I haven't done my steps today so I walked around and then walked home

got my steps up got a bit of pizza in the city and then walked that off it was alright but I was walking home going I am delirious now yeah because I'm still So I walked around and then walked home, got my steps up, got a bit of pizza in the city and then walked that off. It was all right. But I was walking home going, I am delirious now. Yeah. Because I'm still, I'm trying to get my 10,000 steps up and I'm so fucked. I feel like I'm going to crash and I'm not driving.

Yeah. I'm just walking. Yeah. Let's see. Off the back of the show, I talked about Little Blanket. Little Blanket's behind in school, but she's catching up rapidly. Yep. We've been doing morning and night sessions, and she's doing pretty well.

She told me the other day she did a day of school, and the teacher didn't have to help her with anything, whatever. Here we go. It's working. The lessons are working. We did a session this morning. We're way ahead of what we were two weeks ago. I've got her.

She was reading out loud basically nothing. She was spelling basically nothing. And now I've got a little thing for us. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is her reading out loud. I'll see if we can hear this. All together, what does it say?

Got it. Got Tim. Got Tim. this okay from before yeah that's the next one you gotta teach her that's a bit harder it is that's a bit longer words we're working with like we're working with classic words if you didn't hear that it says got tim yeah um was that just just you making, you just getting her to read your car? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's an easy one. Wow, I should do that. You don't even need to get a book or write it down. It's really easy because you never see that car moving.

Honey, come into the garage. Yeah. You know what? I'll do that. I'll do that tonight. I will do that tonight. Just at school, what did you read last night? Oh, I read Spot.

I read Grug. I read Daddy's Car. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's a bit easy. She's got books with Spot. I read Grug. I read Daddy's Car. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's a bit easy. She's got books with Tim in them at the moment. Yeah, that's true. But no, she's doing a lot of three-letter words that have got like a vowel in the middle. Yep.

So she can pronounce them. Classics. She's doing pretty good. Okay. It's all happening. It is all happening. She's going to be a fucking genius. She's going to go from dud.

She's going to go from fucking Bretttt blake to kitson yeah in four weeks this will be like her like yeah funny anecdote from brett blake to hamish blake in four weeks what's the story they thought uh albert einstein had like had like a was like really dumb or something oh really talk till late or something like that that's like a famous thing with him oh well you know as kid, doesn't really matter. You know, you can turn it around. Well, it's like what we used to get told in comedy all the time is like, you know what the inspiration is?

You know, you're going out and bombing. You can always get good. You know what Dave Hughes used to be? Everyone was like, he's the shittest comedian. Then you turn into the biggest one. Then you tell Dave Hughes that story. He's like, I wasn't fucking the shittest comedian. What are you talking about?

I wasn't that bad it's like i wonder is there an equivalent of that in like every like um you know public facing profession you know there's like oh there's those like record executives that said no thanks to the beatles are they like you know are they like formula one driver yeah success stories who are like ah took me like four goes to get my P's? Yeah. You know, has every level of something got that story of the guy who's like the biggest? And everyone's full of shit as well. Yeah.

Everyone's put fucking 10 tons of mayo on these stories. Well, not even that. I mean, it means nothing because it's like, yeah, there's plenty of people who also had that happen because they're actually bad. So it's not even like, oh, just because this has happened to me, that's a sign that I actually am really good so I should keep going. Yeah. It's like, no, it just shows that everyone starts somewhere. Yeah.

That's what it means. I was talking to a comic about it last night where it was like, you know, you have those stories where someone's figured something out and they just go boom. Like that's apparently the Husey story. He just figured it out. He was doing some rank material and then he figured it out and went boom. I'm like, I can tell you right now 10 stories about people who have never figured it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who you can say, if only they figured this out and then they don't figure it out and nothing fucking happens.

Yeah. So anyway, speaking of two people that haven't figure it out and nothing fucking happens yeah so anyway speaking of two people that haven't figured it out nothing's happened I was gonna say here we are thanks everyone

for signing up to patreon.com slash little dumb dumb club if you have done that no thank you to the people that haven't done it but there's a possible

thanks coming your way if you choose to do it this week we're a listener supported program Carl that's it and if you want to do it this week. We're a listener-supported program, Carl. That's it. And if you want to keep the engine running, you can be a part of that. And we greatly appreciate it.

Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub. You are the only people that have ever helped us. No one's ever fucking thrown us a bone in our lives apart from you guys. So we need your bones to keep coming. Yeah. No one's ever – we've never been in a drugstore Marilyn Monroe style The head of the ABC Australia

Has walked in and gone You guys I think we've found the sound we're looking for Let's get these guys on Exactly You're now hosting the 7.30 report Nothing like that's ever happened to us It's only you guys that it's happened with

So we need you guys to keep doing your shit That is a shame Spread the word If you like the pod You know what Apart from the money Just tell other people And say you know Only you guys that it's happened with, so we need you guys to keep doing your shit. That is a shame. Spread the word. If you like the pod, you know what? Apart from the money, just tell other people and say, you know, this is funny. I think we've been pretty funny for most of our tenure. That's a good point.

Yeah. Money's great. Helps keep the lights on. But yeah, telling some people, getting the numbers up. If you can't afford to chuck in, then just do that. Hit the streets. Go grassroots. Tell some people who do have some money, you fucking pov cunts. That's a good point.

If you know someone who's really rich who's always talking about, oh, I've got too much money, and you can't afford to put in, then just go like, hey, you know what you should do? Listen to this podcast. If you know the inspiration for the movie Brewster's Millions with Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder, where one of them had the task of I have to get rid

of all of this money in order to win this task. If you know the inspiration for that and then they're like fuck, yeah,

here's a great way of losing all of our money putting on Patreon to these two guys. If you know the inspiration for that story get them onto this podcast or smaller versions of.

So anyway, thank you to everyone who does it. Let's run through some names this week that have probably never been mentioned on this show before. Oh, okay. Yeah. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. First came off the rank, Rowan Garth. Rowan Garth.

Yep. The battle of two first names that I would not like. Yeah. It's really painting a picture. Rowan's better than Garth, but... What? Yeah, I guess. You think it's close? Well, I'm thinking, I mean, yeah.

No, I have a friend called Rowan, so that's good. Wait, Rowan W or Rowan H? W. Okay, well, then I don't have a friend called that. Okay. I have an H friend who listens to this show. Right. Okay.

So, hello, H Rowan. Is his last name Garth? That'd be good if his name was R-O- No, I'm semi-doxing him here by just revealing one thing that his surname isn't. So, it's pretty easy to track him down now. Okay. I think I know where he lives now. R-O-H-A-N and then G-A-R-F.

That would be good. Rowan Garth. He's just got the wish.com version of this guy. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this guy, he offered to – he threw his hat into the ring for sponsoring the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival

and I was like, this is too much of a legitimate business and isn't really funny. Right. What's the business? Appreciate the offer but – What's it in the genre of? He makes coffee.

Oh, okay. That's just a good idea. Yeah. I think. Maybe you should sponsor us down the line. Maybe when we get back, he can sponsor us being at home. Don't need to sponsor us over there. Sponsor us back here.

Rohan's coffee. Rohan. But we're not here to talk Rohan. We're here to talk Rowan Garth. Rowan. No, I'm thinking I have a nice – Garth gives me a nice feeling because it just immediately makes me think Wayne's World. So I'm thinking –

But you don't want to be Garth in Wayne's World. No, that's true. You don't want to be Garth. But, you know, it's a nice – a lot of fond memories of that movie. So just hearing the name makes me think of that, makes me think of watching it at my friend's house on a sleepover, having a little chuckle at all the jokes. That was in your hitting zone.

So that's about, what was that, 91 or something? So I think it was. Yeah, yeah. Was it really 91? Is it? I think so. Maybe, maybe later. I must have come to it a bit later then.

But yeah, definitely. Maybe it was later. That was in the realm of, I'm trying to remember. I think maybe I hadn't seen Wayne's World until after I saw Austin Powers maybe and then I like went back. Right. I was like, oh shit, this motherfucker's been putting on funny wigs for years. He was doing it before TikTok was invented.

Oh man, that's a good sketch. Mike Myers is a TikToker. Well. Just getting on and there's this guy like talking about shagging and he's like doing this parody of James Bond. You're like, I guess I kind of get it. Who was TikTok before there was TikTok?

Yeah. Just funny voices, funny wigs. Funny wigs. Very like immediate. The wig industry. Like really immediate character. The wig industry has fucking boomed since TikTok was invented. They had a bit of a lull between Austin Powers gold member and TikTok taking off the wilderness years.

Maybe TikTok is just, maybe all the wigs are made in China and that's why TikTok was invented by China to sell wigs. Maybe Mike Myers bought in. That would be great. Yeah. That would be fucking great. TikTok's an invention by big wig. Not by big wigs.

No, no, by literal big wig. Literal big wig. Yeah. But itigs. By big wig. No, no, by literal big wig. Literal big wig. Yeah. But it is funny TikTok because it is either that. It's either people like, yeah, dressing up and doing their things. Or it's just literally someone, not even a ring light, no makeup, just like my fiance watches this one every day that's like, I forget her name, but she's really popular on there.

She's just this like regular ass suburban mom who just talks for like an hour just while she's chopping the veggies an hour just talks for ages oh so it's just like how long does tiktok go for like 15 seconds or something no you can do longer you can do a few minutes on a tiktok okay um you're thinking of vine dad right um but yeah her thing is just like put the phone up getting dinner ready, just fucking just talking, just talking about things that happened during my day or what I think about world events and there's no presentation to it and people fucking love her.

Just this average ass woman just having a chat about the day. I get it because I don't watch heaps but i watch a bit of youtube now i've become a youtube guy since lockdown and i watch my little vlogs and i find new ones and you know whatever but they're all you know basically something to do with people traveling through southeast asia yeah and there's a new one well there's not a new one it's been going for a while but a new one that got sent to me by milan which did take my has taken my recent fancy they called something bread or fucking something anyway the point is what they do is they go there's these two fucking bogans who are fine they're nice and what they do is they go to

these countries and then they flip a coin and one of them's got 20 a day to live on and the other one's got a thousand oh that's that's not bad it's really good yeah that's good and so that happens first thing in the morning and then they just follow one guy trying to live on $20 for the rest of the day in like Bangkok or Phuket or whatever. The $1,000 guy, he doesn't get the camera. No point having the cameras on him. He's just having an average day.

No, he's got the cameras. Oh, does he? He's got the cameras on both of them. Maybe that's part of the reward of like you also don't have to be doing the – you get the day off from the content. You can just no no it's actually good it's a good contrast of content because one guy's screaming into the fucking void and going fuck me i'm in this joint it's this sucks i've got no money yeah i have to live like a local and eat fucking cockroaches today and then not have any money for a comm even if you're in a certain place and you can't even get a bunk or something.

Yeah. And they sleep on the beach or whatever. And the other guy is literally sitting there going, how do I spend this much money in a third world country? Yeah. I guess I'm ordering meals I don't want. Right. He's like, I've had five hand jobs today.

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, it's really good. I imagine it's the kind of thing where you go through spells where the balance is just not in your... You know, you're like, I've copped the $20 flip five times in a row now. Yeah. That's exactly what happened. Have you got a trick coin?

This guy. That's a good... If you're one of those guys, you get like a fake double two-headed coin. What I'm enjoying at the moment, I've watched four in a row and this poor cunt has lost four in a row. And he's like the fourth one. You just see him break. He's having a bit of fun and whatever.

And then the fourth one, he just fucking breaks. And it's real good. And the other guy's like, I'm so bored of eating all this food and drinking all this stuff and having all this fun. It's sort of wasted on me, but oh well. That is funny too, just being like the guy who's like, yeah, living on nothing and just like having a shit time of it. And it's like, no one is really making you do this.

You know, this is like completely designed. But the whole thing, imagine if you're the guy who like, it was your idea and then you're like, well, this is backfired. Yeah. I'm just having a shit time every day. This guy, I think he pulled two. This guy, like in a run of four losses where he's trying to live on $20 a day, where literally he's in, you think $20 a day in Asia,

like that'll be not too bad in Thailand. But I think they're in Phuket. But your comms got to come out of that as well. Yeah, comms got to come out of it. Yeah, that's – So it's like he's in a slightly pricier place like Phuket where it's like, I can't find a place. The cheapest I can find is $16. So I can't do the day.

I can't eat and whatever for $4. I just can't do it. You'd hope you get in a 16 where there's like a breakfast buffet included or something and then you're just like sneaking a plate into the fridge. In the run of four, by the end of the run of four, he's like, it's best of three. And the other bike's like, okay. And then he does best of three and still loses. Oh, man.

Fuck. Fuck, yeah. That's great. It did make me think, you know what? We've got, I don't know if we've talked about it that much, but we do have a guy filming us, a YouTuber guy filming us at the Costa Moya International Podcast Festival. have a guy filming us a youtuber guy filming us in at the coast of moore international podcast festival um like we said at the top of the show hey if you if you're a mad dog if you're fucking crazy enough um this far out from the podcast festival june 9 it starts if you want in and

we've had it done before if you want in get into it people are reselling their tickets through us cheaper tickets um get on the website. See how much they are. They're considerably shaved down, the price-wise, if you want to be part of this. Get onto it. But we are bringing a YouTuber over that's going to film us, and he's going to do some of his own YouTubing and all that sort of stuff while he's there. But we do need to find some stuff to do during the day to get up. We're going to have some sweet video content that'll be uploaded to our Patreon staff. There'll be a little bit of freebies on the free-to-air,

but we'll have some sweet videos on Patreon and stuff like that. So yeah, we do need a few little challenges like this, I think. We need some little ideas to do during the day. Yeah. I think that'd be fun. So we'll be broadcasting a lot of,

for all the people that say, oh, why don't you video your your podcast and stuff we will be filming our live podcast yeah we'll be doing fun stuff during the day and whatever so um to get onto that sign up to your patreon in advance yeah to get that happening that's going to be happening fucking a couple of weeks a couple of weeks away yeah get your bonus episodes now catch Catch up on the back catalogue. Yeah. And then you'll be ready to keep up to date. Yes, that's it. But thanks, Rowan Garth.

Thanks, Rowan Garth. Shwing. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Amanda Willow Wilson. Okay. Yeah. Is Willow, like, in quotation marks? No, it's like she's – that's her name on Patreon, but then I just looked at her email address and it's like she's that's her that's her um her name on patreon but then i just looked at her email address and it's like amanda wilson okay so i'm i'm doxing her sorry

so she so she is doing the thing when people you know in credits will get introduced as a nickname it's like the willow is in the like quotation marks no didn't do quotation marks yeah no no but that's what that is yeah her middle name isn't willow yes no no totally yeah sorry yeah um it's it's w-i-l-l-o willow it's willow she's yeah good old willow good name you know what you don't see i might be wrong how many of your female friends have nicknames um well certainly not as constant uh actually most of them, honestly. Do they? Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah. I've got two female friends who are coming to Samui. One of them listens to the show. One of them doesn't. Yes. The original odd couple. Davo and Ketty.

Oh, okay. All right. So that's their- And they're both based off their names? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ketty's not just one of your female friends that's on a lot of ketamine? No, Ketty's Kate. I don't know.'t know i can't remember the i remember her last name can't remember her last

name right yeah uh mate that's that's her name uh that's good kate champ uh and and then davo's just a riff on us her name Right. Classic. Classic Australian. I picked that. I thought maybe probably Dave's not her first name. Well, you know, it could be, you know, it could be. I mean, yeah, most common. Dave Etta. Just the female Dave.

Well, yeah, most common that a nickname is kind of based on a surname. But then every now and then you get something where it's like, oh, no, it's Davo because she, you know, fucked this hideous guy called Dave once. Right. You know, like those are the ones that it's like someone doing something that's then become attached to them as their nickname. A good nickname. It's always a bit more interesting.

A good nickname is your name becomes this bad person you fucked. Yeah. Just their name. Yeah. That's really good. Yeah. You know sometimes when you get someone whose whole name just sounds good and their nickname becomes their whole name.

Yeah. You know that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Amanda Wilson's not going to be one of them, unfortunately. No. But sometimes someone will just have that full name and I very much enjoy those people. Yeah.

You just say their full name every time you address them. Sounds good. Yeah. But no, yeah, most, yeah, a lot of my female friends have nicknames for some weird reason. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's just me giving them these nicknames all the time. Yeah. I guess my wife's friends do call her by an abbreviation of her surname.

So that's something, I guess. Yeah. I guess I'm completely wrong. Have I talked about how – I would have talked about it on here. I started calling my fiancée Homer because her surname kind of is – well, that's a long story, but I just started calling her Homer and I told some friends that – If her last name is Simpson, you're not really hiding it too much.

Yeah, I started calling her that and then told my friends that and they were like oh that's a funny nickname and then we went to something and then afterwards we got home and she was like couldn't help but notice that all of your friends have started calling me i'm like isn't it great look at the kind of influence i wield yeah isn't it great that you are now known as the dumbest character on TV of all time? Yeah. The dumbest, most physically repulsive, everything bad. Yeah.

And you're a beautiful lady and I gave you that. That's the nickname. That's funny. It's incongruous. Yes. Yeah. That's what makes it comedy because it's the opposite of what's going on. Yeah.

If you were that dumb and that ugly, that wouldn't be a cool nickname. Yeah, exactly. It'd be mean. Yeah. Then look at us all laughing and having a good time. This is like a redhead being called Bluey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Classic Australian humour.

You're a beautiful lady and I call you Homer. Yeah, during sex. And then when I come, I say dull. Yep, yep. So, yeah, if you come into Samui and you see her around, feel free to throw a hey-home around. Oh, she's coming. She is joining, yes.

She's coming, yeah. She's coming along. My wife is not coming. She's going on her own holiday. Really? My daughter is extremely excited about going on the girls' trip. They're going to another little holiday, which on the surface seems like a very generous move of me, paying to fly the rest of my family on their own holiday.

But of course, that's more to do with the guilts and me not talking to them during that week and having to apologize for being where I am every day. Where are they going? They're going to Queensland. Okay. So they're going to have a good old time in the warmer climates up there. So they are very much looking forward to doing that. So that'll be fun for them.

But now my wife is just starting, don't say her name, starting to go, is it going to be a good holiday looking after this kid with no help from you? Yeah, so that'll be fun for them. But now my wife is just starting, don't say a name, starting to go, is it going to be a good holiday looking after this kid with no help from you? Well, yeah, it's not really a holiday, I guess. It'll be okay, I think. Yeah. I think it'll be okay. I think she's... Chuck her in the kids club.

Yeah, I did say to her literally last night, have you made sure there's a kids club in this fucking resort? She's like, no. Well, I don well that's to say to you it is it is such a funny concept for someone to have come up with because i remember that being little and being like oh yeah we're going here and then it's like day one your parents are like hey here's this room that you you have to go and like just be in all day and being like what but did you think that was a good idea um i remember being pretty split on it honestly

sometimes i don't know yeah maybe when i was like super young and you don't have a full idea of what's going on you're like oh okay i guess this is it and then at certain points being like can't i just kind of hang out and do my own thing and like you know just walk around and do whatever they're like no you'll get abducted you have to go into this yeah room with these i mean i don't know you think about it and it's like yeah what a strange concept well no i mean it's it's great i mean i i certainly didn't have access to that when i was a kid going around because the the maruchi door flag motoring didn't have fucking shit like that well but that was i well that was it too was like

you'd go somewhere kind of nicer and it would have like a good version of it and then you would go somewhere not as good and it would be like oh the kids club and you're remembering the one from the previous place yeah yeah this is fun and then i just remember i can't remember where we were but it was this one where it was just like this fucking windowless room it was like the kids club was just in the worst bit of the hotel it was like this sucks like why aren't we outside man i love there was a few kids club last time we went all together to thailand we went to phuket which i don't i'm not a big rap for i don't think we'll i'm gonna say it now i don't think i'll ever go to phuket again okay i'm over that joint i don't

like it that much but we went to this one place that was pretty popular and we were like very kids club minded and we went to this one place with i just like this there's always something a little bit weird about older thai resorts and this place was it's fucking massive and it had a full old school bowling alley. Like with 10 lanes. Yeah, it's sick. Come to Thailand and do some fucking sweet breaks or whatever they call it. Yeah. No, what's it called? Splits? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a massive bowling alley. Okay. That sounds really cool. It just seems so odd to me. I was almost going to stay at a place in Okinawa, and I didn't, that had its own karaoke room. Right.

Which I was like, that's a great thing to have in your hotel. Yes. In another country. Yes. Especially Japan. Like, Okinawa's like a little island, pretty remote. Like, it's not, you know, Tokyo you can find a karaoke room, like literally any street you're on you can find one within like two minutes. Yeah. But, yeah, just having one like, room, like, literally any street you're on, you can find one within, like, two minutes.

But, yeah, just having one, like, you know what? Before I hit the sack, I'm just going to go downstairs and belt out a few tunes. Yeah, yeah. Just me by myself in the karaoke room. Yeah. Fuck, I wish I'd done it. But anyway. Yeah, just like, I'm not ready to go to bed yet.

I just want one more beer. It's like, I just need one more. My heart will go on. Yeah. And then I'll be ready for bed. Yeah. That'll be good. Just getting a little inkling you're like lying in bed you're like oh fuck you know what to be a good karaoke song and just immediately going down there and being able to action it

within the next five minutes yeah it would be great yeah yeah it's just just just the idea of like someone doing it by themselves like i'm not ready for bed yet i gotta get this out of myself instead of going for a walk i I'll go for a sing. Yeah. Go down there and talk to everybody's mom. Yeah, just really tire myself out before I, yeah, get some shut-eye. Well, thanks, Willow. Thanks, Willow.

Thanks, Amanda Wilson. Good on you, Willow. Thanks, Amanda Willow Wilson. Good on you, Mando. Thanks for peering over that fence, not showing us your face. Yep. And giving us some advice. Just giving us, just poking a few fucking bills through the little knot hole in the fence.

Yeah, slipping some 20s through. Yep. Thank you very much to, speaking of nicknames, thank you very much to Patreon subscriber, HefBob. Okay. Whatever that is. Are they two words? Nope.

One word, HefBob. H-E-F-F-B-O-B. Oof. HefBob. HefBob. Hmm. I mean, I don't know. I guess if you want that as a nickname,

I guess that's a bit of a thrill to have us read that out, I guess. Is this a license plate that's sponsoring us? Yeah, yeah. It's got a bit of that to it. This is a real custom plate. Yeah. And not a, you know, it's definitely a plate that you got pretty easily

when you looked it up. I wonder if that's available. Oh, it's available a plate that you got pretty easily when you looked it up. I wonder if that's available. Oh, it's available. It's very available. That's funny. Like someone's sort of, you've done something, something's happening, and, you know, your friendship group, you can tell that a nickname is starting to crystallize.

And you're like, wait, wait, wait, before this goes any further, before you get too carried away, and then you're on like, you're on the VicRoad site checking if that nickname exists as a license plate. And you're like, I don't want a nickname unless I can have it as my number plate on my car. Okay? I'm looking it up. Sorry, boys, but Dickman is taken.

You're not going to be able to use that as my nickname. Back to the drawing board. I'm going to insist that you use that second choice nickname you had for me, 123ass. Yes. That's going to be it. Oh, we didn't mention. So we talked about that on the show,

that we had a good feeling about the pod because the first number plate we saw in front of us was 123ass. On the way home to the airport, got in the Uber, the number plate right in front of us driving on the way to the airport was PAMPIX. Yeah. P-A-M-P-I-X. Yeah.

Right in our hitting zone both ways. Yeah. Crazy. Really strange. Just a... Because PAMPIX is like 123-ASS. I could almost accept that that's just a fluke. Yeah. But PAMPIX is like, one, two, three, ass. I could almost accept that that's just a fluke. But Pam Picks is like, what?

That's deliberate. And what else could that possibly mean? A, it was not a fluke. There's no way it was a fluke. One, two, three, ass. There's no way. I know, but I'm like, I could almost believe it with that. But Pam Picks is like, it has to be A,, deliberate and B, what's the other possible meaning?

And also, is this because you love jerking off at pictures of Pamela Anderson? That's what I'm saying. What other possible thing in this person's life? Pampix? There's no other like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. If your name, if it is a different Pam, if it's not Pamela Anderson, no problem. But what's important about having pictures of this other Pam?

Well, it could be her name is Pam and she's a photographer. Oh, yeah. That's probably the most likely. You know what? You know what would be great? So I'm currently at vplates.com.au. I'm looking up Hef Bob. Yeah.

Now, I've had to trim an F off it. But guess what? No fucking shock in any way. HEFBOB? Your combo is available. HEFBOB. Oh, Hef. It's available.

Yeah. Do it. You've got to do it, man. No, I don't. I've already got one fucked one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's in Victoria anyway. Yeah.

Well, that's a good enough reason to move states. Yeah. Now, go around every other... Guess what?... other registry and see if you can get a state. In Victoria, PAMPICS is available. If you want the Victorian PAMPICS, you can get it. So that's good news, isn't it? Yeah. There needs to be one in every state.

Now what I want to – what would be a good website is you type in the personalized number plate and you get to contact them. That is a good website is you type in the personalized number plate and you get to contact them. That is a good function, I think. You get to email Queensland Pan Picks and go, please, let us know. I can see a lot of issues with this. I reckon there's a really good reason why this doesn't exist. In my opinion, the good outweighs the bad.

It should be like a QR code where if you're in range of the car, you have to have actually seen the good outweighs the bad it should be like a qr code where like if you're in range of the you have to have actually seen the car be in range of it yeah okay right you can scan it maybe it's like a thing where like like using some sort of like gps bluetooth coordinator right if you're next to the car on the freeway you can like call them in the car and be like hey i'm sorry i'm just behind you yeah you got to tell me what's the deal with this yeah yeah yeah yeah but it only works if you get your window of being near them in traffic i think that's fair enough if you go outside the normal remit of the number plates everyone gets the 0586 um you know phd whatever it is in queensland or

whichever order you want it in which state. If you want to go outside that world, no problem. But that does open you up to being contacted by why you have chosen to be outside that world. Or what about this? Have your personalised plate. It can be whatever you want. The story can be whatever you want. That's fine.

But what you do have to do is big QR code on the back window of your car right the people in traffic can then scan and it's like here's the story all right then here's what this is about okay then so immediately driving is hard yes because you your entire vision of the back of you can't see out the back window yeah because it's just got a massive qr code on the back of it yes and if you're happy to put up with that then you can have dick sucker as your license plate yes you can you have it on the on your passenger door. It's like a police logo or something like that.

You have the big QR code on your door. And then you get pulled over by the cops. And you're like, oh, what's the issue, officer? And they're like, did you know your QR code's expired? Yeah, yeah. We tried to scan it to get the story of what this license plate is. You're going to get that renewed. We tried to find out why your number plate is I am gay

and we couldn't find out the story. Yeah, you're going to have to get that looked at straight away because that's a big fine. Driving with a personalized plate and no QR code. A lot of people wondering about the story behind those plates and it's annoying a lot of people and distracting a lot of people. See, this is a good bit. Yeah.

This is good. Yeah. Who would have thought that something as incongruous and as useless to us as Hef Bob would inspire such a riff? That is a great invention. That's actually, you know, if we got to start the world again, start society again now or add something to society. No, no, we need to start again.

Yeah, okay. We can just add that in. We can just add it in. We don't need to go back to being little salamanders crawling at things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't need any butterfly effect happening. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Come on. Sorry, Charles Darwin. It's gone. We need to start again to get this in there. This is the first rule. Forget about Adam's rib. Yep.

We need a QR code on cars. As soon as we go Cro-Magnon, the next step is QR code on the back of a car for a personalised plate.

We invent that before we invent the wheel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's just a car with no wheels but with a QR code. We're trying to come up with the technology for the QR code when nothing else, all we have is fire. Yeah. Well, thanks, Hef Bob. Thanks, Hef Bob.

Good on you, Bobs. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Dan Jones. Oh, God. Yeah. Fuck. It's all gone now. I feel like we've had it. We've had a pretty good run this week.

Yeah. Until now. Yeah, that's fine. Well, you know what? Dan Jones. Fucking Christ. Well, thank you to... Finally, we're getting some silver chair money.

Okay. Daniel Jones. Yeah. That's not his name oh fuck that's right uh are we getting savage garden money that's his name what that's the second guy's name isn't it daniel jones i'm looking it up yeah i don't know i don't know about that hasn't come across my desk okay maybe it's not it is daniel jones yeah wow i never knew that it's not. It is! Daniel Jones? Yeah.

Wow, I never knew that. It's the other guy. That's weird. Yeah. Yeah, okay. It's the other guy that just, he's just gone. Daniel Jones? Yep.

All right, I'll take that. He's 50 years old. Wow. And he is now a real estate agent, maybe. Hmm. Yeah. There's not much. He lives in the Gold Coast.

Okay. That wasn't very far from where we were. He could help babysit on your wife's upcoming holiday. Well, if they were staying at the Gold Coast. Absolutely. He could commute. He could commute. If he's lost all that Savage Garden money, for sure.

He, fuck. An ex-musician being like, yeah, I'm a babysitter now. I'm a full-time babysitter. Well, that wouldn't be a shocking story, considering the money they earn, for sure. Jones left the music industry, moved to Las Vegas, and then went into the real estate business. Las Vegas and then went into the real estate business. They moved home in – they lived over there for quite a while in Las Vegas and they returned home to live on the Gold Coast in 2023. Wow. Look at that.

From Vegas to the Goldie. Yeah. Yeah, really mixing it up. Yeah. Going to the subclass Vegas. Yeah, I need a little change. I need this to be shitter than what it is. Yeah.

I need it to be just as flashy and gross and dumb, but just not as good. I like all the negative aspects of it. I just don't like how busy it is. I don't want the chance to see Britney Spears and Beyonce and stuff like that. I want the chance to see the fucking Leyland Brothers or some shit. Yeah. The four kinsmen. That's who I want to see. Yeah.land Brothers or some shit. Yeah. The Kings, the Four Kinsmen. That's who I want to see.

Yeah. Some real dog shit. I want to go see an open mic at the Dog and Parrot. Yes. Yeah. I want it just as transparent and just as flimsy and just as yucky and flashy, but with no good elements to it. Not a single, say what you will about Vegas,

there's not a single tap that has no pipe in it and the water's just going out and back in. Yeah. Like out the front of Ripley's, believe it or not. No, Gold Coast is all right for a holiday. It would be very weird to live there. Yeah, big time. My wife is obsessed with the idea of one day living in Queensland. She just loves it.

She's just, this winter. She's a beach bum. This loves she she's just she's the this winter beach bum this winter has broken her and it's not even winter yet yeah she's like walking around the house going fuck this yeah why are we living in melbourne this sucks the weather's so bad and i'm like if only you had a husband with a fucking death wish to live in a very nice temperatured country yeah if only you had that about you lauren's the same. She's like, I hate winter. I'm like, yeah, it's technically not even winter yet.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's always like, so, you know, sometimes we'll do a little trip to the Gold Coast

and she really loves it, but like, and it's that thing that I think really realistically in my head I've got with Thailand as well. You go, oh,

imagine living here, but I think it would be like exactly the same. I wouldn't like to be there all the time. I love being there on holiday but in the back of my head every now and then when I have when I realistically try and punch it into my head what if you lived here yeah it would be like this you're living with people who want to live in Thailand yeah yeah yeah you don't speak Thai yeah you're not hanging out with proper Thai people you're hanging out with weirdos that want to live in Thailand but that that's like any, like I do think that would be really interesting anywhere

because like I have that with Japan where I'm like I would be fascinated to like just be there long enough for the sheen of that initial because you'd move over there and your first bit for a little while, it would just be like you're on holidays because you would just be doing all the regular stuff that you do. And to just see like at what point do you get to the part where it's like that novelty kind of starts to wear off and reality kind of starts to settle in yeah and what does that feel like i'd be fascinated to just like do that for a bit and just see how that feels man this our as we talked about we've

got a youtuber guy um coming over to film us and whatever he is a a guy. So he's from, he lives in Thailand, but he's from Sydney. And he moved over because his other mate is like a YouTuber who is quite successful and is full-time and makes money and all that sort of stuff. And so he's gone, fuck this. I don't have like a very good job and good money in uh in in australia i'm gonna i'm just gonna go over there um so he's gone over there and just and gone to quite a party section and has just gone i live here now and it's just treated it like he's on holiday yep but for the rest of his life yeah

gone way too hard and then just gone fuck it's taken me two three months whatever it is but now i have to pull my head in now i realize you can't live here like this yeah you can, fuck, it's taken me two, three months, whatever it is, but now I have to pull my head in. Now I realise you can't live here like this. You can't live like it's Las Vegas every night and blah, blah, blah. So he's had to then go, like now he's living in Thailand going, oh, now I can see all the negative aspects of it and whatever. It's like, yeah, you can't stay in the fucking hide every night and get pissed and go, every single day go, how good are $2 are two dollar changs this is amazing fuck imagine doing that like anywhere but just like

oh i love going to dalesford for the weekend that's it i'm moving there and then it's like but you treat it like that you're like you're just at a winery every day i'm living in disneyland i'm moving to disneyland yeah yeah i'm moving to. I had such a good time here. Imagine being here permanently. Imagine eating fairy floss every day. Well, my ex famously in the canon of the show lived at Disney World. I always forget that. Six months, nine months. That's crazy. Yeah.

I mean. And hated it. Yeah. Yeah. I would be shocked if not. She would be crazy if that didn't happen. Well, thanks, Daniel Jones. Thanks, DJ.

Thanks for bringing some of your Vegas winnings home and shipping us some of them. Yeah. Yeah. I did wonder why there was a few chips in an envelope being sent to us. And I – There's $69 written on it. I love Savage Garden.

Do you? Yeah. I've been re-listening to some of the big ones recently. Oh, really? I've never listened to them. And I never will. Sorry. Sorry, Dan.

Wow. I know you're a big fan. The cat wants to come in. Should I get up and let it in? Yeah. Can you let the cat in? Is that all right? If you can.

The cat has gotten over its point of being scared that there were other people in this house and sat outside and then went, either I can be scared or I can... Or I can be cold. Yeah. Yeah. So she's chosen to be not scared.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, one more. Yep. Let's do one more and then it's lunchtime. Mm-hmm. And then it's me trying to get shit done before I have to go and pick up my child from school.

Oh, yeah. What time is that? 3.30? Yeah, three hours from now. Thank you very much to Patron Subscriber. Oh, this is interesting. Thank you very much to Hef Comedy. Yeah.

Hef Comedy. Can you get on? Let's see if that's taken. Let's see if that's available. let's see if that's taken that's available let's see if that's taken um remember being a kid and thinking like 3 30 at the end of a school day was like oh fuck this is just like so long yeah and then you leave and it's like hey guess what you do now that but it ends at five yeah yeah i know yeah i was i was actually explaining that 3 30 was bad and then you know when you get your first like job like after school and you're like oh wow 3 30 just seems so early now you get

home and you've got the whole afternoon i was explaining that to to blanket the other day she's like oh yeah school goes so long and i'm like do you know how long work goes for yeah it goes for ages she's really like yeah, it's till five o'clock and that's way after 3.30. And then she's like, right. And then I'm like, and I'm, and she's like, are you at home tonight? And I go, no, I'm at work tonight as well.

She goes, did you work during the day? I go, yeah. She goes, I never want to go to work. I'm like, yeah, some people work fucking heaps. I said, enjoy school. Yeah, yeah. They got told to me when I was at school, enjoy school, it's the easiest time

of your life and I was like but this sucks but you can't understand it but then yeah you get home at five you get dinner on the go you eat that

then it's time to pretty much just go to bed and then do it all over again sure you don't have homework but you're just at the actual place in the time that you would have been doing

let's all kill ourselves alright very quickly let's do five of these. We're at the website. This is a good thing we should be doing. Let's check five different names that we can get on. They're available for personalized number plates. Okay.

So is Hef Comedy on there? Hef Comedy is unavailable. Hef Com is available. Hef Com. Okay, that's good. Yeah, that's one. Yep. What's some good – actually, let's one. Yep. What's some good...

Actually, let's just check, double check, got him. Did I... No, that's yours. I know. You can't get the same license plate. I just wanted to make sure I'd kept up the fucking rego thing. Oh, yeah, okay. I mean, that would be a good on-air discovery.

You're driving around an unregistered car. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Well, I mean, I haven't driven the car for a year, but I've still been paying the rego for it. You haven't driven the car for a year but I've still been paying the rego for it. You haven't driven the car for a year? Yes. Wow.

Yes. I've got to either get rid of it or fix it. And I've been putting everything else in front of that question. Yep. What's something else? Put your car on Marketplace. No.

That would be... I mean, that would get us... That would get you some content for the selling a car on marketplace can you do people do that yeah of course okay yeah maybe i'll do it um what's another what's another thing um what about uh can you get com eddy as a license plate? Oh, good question. It's the perfect length. Unavailable. Damn. Who the fuck's got it?

Someone's driving around with the license plate. Now, yeah, okay, I'm coming around to your idea. Yes. We should be able to just contact this person. Yes. Surely there's a registry you can... Maybe we go to the police and we're like, hey, this car like fucking cut me off and smashed into me.

Oh, yeah. And it just drove off. Yes. And I need to get the... Yeah. The license plate was comedy. Yeah. Can you give me some information about the...

You guys don't need to... You know, I don't want to bother you with the burden of like going in contact. I'm happy to do it. I just need their name and address. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm happy to be a vigilante here.

I'm happy to go and kill them myself. Yeah. You don't need to, we don't need to do any paperwork. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Just give me,

just tell me where they live. Just tell me their name and or email address. Yes. Good. You know what? Here's a possible number plate we could get. Let's see.

Oh, come on. What's happening? It's taking too long to figure out. What could this possibly be? I think this is good. What could this possibly be? Why is this taking so fucking long? This is making me nervous.

It's taking so long. You've broken the internet. Oh, it's available. Guess what's available? From B4. Yeah. The four at the end. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. That's pretty cool. Well, if you're Rego's laps, that's the next one. Yeah, yeah. No, you put in the car on Marketplace and going, and also it comes with these sweet plates. Yeah.

And just see what kind of messages you get. Fuck. You should put it up anyway, even if you don't end up doing it, and just see what kind of correspondence you get into. Okay. Well, I'm going to have to do something. It's been sitting in the garage for a year. Fuck.

And I haven't done anything with i need to and i would quite like i sort of really need to buy a new car because we have one car and that's fine but there's enough bullshit i get up to where all of a sudden i'm doing something very important on on foot on foot online yeah yeah yeah all right well thanks everyone littledumbdumbDumbClub.com. Get onto the Patreon. Support the show. Get tickets to our upcoming Koh Samui Going Away Party,

June 1 at the Creatures of Habit Bar and Band Room in Melbourne, and then Sydney, July the 20th. Oh, you're skipping over the Koh Samui International Podcast. And Koh Samui International Podcast. There's some discounted rooms available. Yeah, yes. If you're keen at the last minute. On our website. Take your room off someone else's hands.

Guys, thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. See you, mate.