The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 714 - Live! Cameron James, Danielle Walker, Brett Blake & Abhishek Mishra

Episode Date: June 12, 2024

We are BACK in Koh Samui for the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival with CAMERON JAMES, BRETT BLAKE and DANIELLE WALKER! Danielle's spent way too long staring at a sea urchin, Cameron's already made a big purchase at a market, and New Brett has had a wonderful, wholesome time in Bangkok. Plus we're still trying to convince The Stay Resort that this is a corporate retreat, and let's not forget: we've flown Abhishek over so that we can hear the Sperm Bank routine three more times! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dum Dum Club, a brand new episode recorded live in Koh Samui with special guests Brett Blake, Daniel Walker, Cameron James, and of course, Abhishek Mishra. We've got Sydney coming up. We're recording this intro on the beach, so we're very relaxed. July 20, littledumdumclub.com for tickets. Check that out. We'll talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dumb Dumb. Enjoy the return to the Coastal Mill International Podcast Festival.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Hey, lady Don't you remember Hey, mate Welcome once again to Welcome once again to From Before Industries Corporate Retreat 2024. My name is co-CEO Tommy Dasolo.

And sitting next to me, the other half of the company, Carl Chandler. G'day, employees. Yeah. Thank God. I thought you were going to say your other thing and we'd have to get HR involved, which... Oh, boy. You guys have really earned this trip this year.

Well done, everyone. Well done. Oh, my God. Look, this is magical. This is amazing. It's so incredible that you guys have all come here and done this and we've got this beautiful thing happening. But fuck me dead, some of you guys are dumb cunts.

Hey. Hey, come on. Come on. These are our employees. We're here in a corporate retreat doing trust exercises. We're trusting you people to not murder us, given that you know where we're sleeping. I'm laying some people off right now, all right?

Who's first on the chopping block? Jesus Christ, you've flown halfway around the world and I had to go out there and plead with people, can you please come inside to see the thing you've flown? Like, I know we're ruining your holiday, but still. Now, if you were in that pool and someone said to you, get out of there and sit in a hot box and watch comedy, do you think you'd do it?

There is a pool next door and one of the guys here was like, just crack open the window. I don't want to go in there and fucking... Yeah, my... How about you listen to it from the fucking bottom of the pool? How about that? My fiancée's here and she had a little nap this afternoon. She had a nap before the show started and very nearly missed this whole show.

So that would have been a great start to the trip. Yeah, I bet she would have been devastated. Yeah, now that you say it, it's kind of weirder that she turned up, honestly. Yeah, why? There's probably a better podcast down the road. Yeah, she's missing happy hour for this. I mean, that's the ultimate compliment. Yeah.

Oh, my God. This is fucking... This is so good. Are you guys happy? Oh, by the way, for people at home, we should say we're in Koh Samui. Yes. I don't know if we really made that. If you just started listening last week and then you tune in, it's like, what the fuck's going on?

What are they talking about? What? Is there music happening? Is there? No. Okay. Oh, I've just got my own fucking show tunes in my head. All right.

That's good. That's good. No, there's something happening, isn't there? Is there? Can no one else hear my fair lady? No, no, no, no. Wait, everyone be really quiet. If you can try.

What's happening? Stop the game. What are you talking about? Is it just me? What's happening? Is it just me? It's the rumple of something. It's the creaking of chairs.

You think... Wow, if we can hear that over the audience, we are in fucking trouble up here. Tommy, turn the mic up. Turn the mic up? Turn them up. Turn them up. No, we're good.

Was that the pool cunt? Yeah, forget turning our shit up. Can we get that guy mic'd up? Because he's doing a better job than we are. Now, can you hear us now, Your Majesty? Yeah, by the way, the person saying turn the mic up was Harley Broon, who doesn't want to listen to the show. No.

Fucking hell. Also, yeah, so thank you so much for everyone for coming. Flying all this way to Koh Samui is a fucking miracle and it's amazing or whatever, but we were hearing last night that people, like booking this resort, we couldn't exactly be completely

truthful about everything going on here because it's just really hard to talk to someone who doesn't speak English to explain completely truthful about everything going on here because it's just really hard to talk to someone who doesn't speak English to explain what the fuck is going on here. Yeah, I know how you feel. Wait, can you hear that? What's that sound? What's that music again? It was a high-pitched lady's voice.

Did you hear that? Did you hear that before? She was warbling away. There it is again. No, you're crazy, dude. But there are people here that have made weird excuses to come here. Is that right? Not everyone has told their bosses.

There's someone laughing there. Have you done that? What did you tell your employees? They know you're coming to a podcast thing but you don't say what the podcast is. I reckon that'll probably do it. I heard apparently last night someone said they gave up on explaining

and just went, I'm going to a wedding. Yeah. We could make that happen. I do. Okay, someone's very excited for the idea of you and me getting married. Yeah, that was your fiancé. Yeah. About a week before we were heading over here,

you came round to my house with your Manscaped pube trimmer And you asked me if you could borrow my Charger for it because you lost yours And I thought oh someone's tidying himself up For the second family very nice Yeah they're not happy Yeah it's getting a bit out of control.

I'm not happy about it. It's fucking hot here. I'm surprised the front row can't smell it by now. What is Thai for, I can't see the forest for the trees? Trees is a big word. Man, good shit. We went and saw Pig Island today

We did go and see Pig Island We had a beautiful time at... What? Was it good? Was it good? That's really worth yelling out Because we were just going to leave it at that Send us a DM, we'll tell you later

You know our motto here Never elaborate Always leave them wanting anything Send us a DM, we'll tell you later. You know our motto here, never elaborate. Always leave them wanting anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go and fucking get back in the pool, cunt. All right, so I went back and I went to my favourite restaurant just down the street, which is Chili Restaurant. Wait, we just rinsed this guy, now we're actually not going into...

We actually are doing it. I'm trying to make him feel good about himself. He's now thinking, I was right. Yeah. No, he's ruined it for the lot of you. So think twice before you decide to be a hero in our audience. I didn't tell this. I went down and saw my favourite restaurant, Chili Restaurant.

And there's people there that have been there for years and when I walk in, they're always like, oh, this guy's back and whatever because one of the other festivals, one night we brought in 150 people and they lost their fucking mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So they're like, this cunt has got it going on. So when I walk in, they're always like, this guy, where's your friends? You're just using me for my 149 friends. And you're like

yeah and I just ate I'm really not maybe just some chips for me. Yeah. He's like you don't mind ordering 149 mains do you? Well it is

yeah so I went down there so I went down there and I'm like and I do I have to admit I do walk in and sort of give it a bit of like

the big man's back you know hey guys and they were like just blank me no one knew who the fuck I was. I'm like, this is so disappointing because I love this.

I love being famous for coming in for dinner. But yeah. Yeah. So I went in there and I'm sitting there and I'm like, oh, okay. And this is like a couple of weeks ago, my pre-trip, my recce, right? Right. Any questions? Yeah.

So I come in with my friend Tony and so I've been telling him, watch this, check this out, go in there, fucking nothing. So then I'm like, oh,

fuck. And then, right at the end, I went to go out and I looked over and I noticed the chef was the chef that left about five years ago

and he was back. And I was like, oh, one guy that knows me, this is so good because he was a guy I'd always come up and order extra potato and I'd was like, oh, one guy that knows me, this is so good. Because he was a guy, I'd always come up and order extra potato

and I'd be like, and I'd tip him for it. And I'd tip him for it. White people. I give him big tips for extra potato, right? And so then I saw him and I go,

oh my God, and I'm drunk. I go up and hug this guy who did not want to be hugged. And I'm like, oh, he's back, he's back. And he just steps back and goes, ah, Mr Potato.

Yeah. Please call me Spud Bar. Mr Potato was my father. And don't skimp on the sour cream, Leck. Give me all the trimmings. Yeah, yeah. So if you go down to Chileile and tell him you know mr potato so and the potatoes are that good down there i just like potatoes so yeah they're pretty

good i guess the potatoes are good anyway yeah yeah anywhere you go they're gonna have good potatoes yeah we so i went to singapore on the way here with some friends and you know it's a thing where when you travel somewhere you do like your first day of a trip you're like god it's so good here imagine how good it'd be to live here fuck living in australia it's so and we were just like doing all that we're having such a good time in singapore and then we're at the pool and the lady who worked at the bar at the pool at our hotel heard our accents and came over and went are you guys from australia and we said yeah and she goes oh i've just went to australia for the time. It was my lifelong dream to go to Australia. I went to Perth and it was, oh, I just had the best time.

It was incredible. Did she go and watch comedy? She's like, I've just always wanted to. I fulfilled my dream of what I wanted to go and do in Australia. And we were like, what was your dream to go do in Australia? And she's like, I wanted to go to Target. I wanted to go to Kmart. I wanted to go to, australian she's like i wanted to go to target i wanted to go to kmart i wanted to go to she called it woolsworth better name and she's like i went into the coals and it was just unbelievable i've never seen it i've never seen a supermarket like that

in my life and she's just showing us videos that she was sending to her sister of like she's like how could you ever want to live anywhere else when you walk into a supermarket and the fruit is laid out like this? What have they got going on in Singapore? I don't know. They certainly don't have Woolworth or Chemist Warehouse was the other big one she was excited to go to. Sounds like they just don't have meth in Singapore.

Yeah, it really gave me a new perspective on our beautiful country. Yeah, great. Alright, next time I get a Red Spot special, I'll feel new perspective on our beautiful country. Yeah, great. All right, next time I get a Red Spot special, I'll feel lucky to live in our country. It'll be good. We've got international people here as well. People are flying in from some places that aren't Australia. I was going to say.

What? Sorry? That's all of us. Oh, yeah. That's why they made me go through that gate of the airport I'm international too No I mean from not Australia Who's not from Australia? People getting

People getting dogged on by the person next to them Yeah people not that fucking keen on it But anyway What countries have we got here? New Zealand New Zealand? It's a stretch It's New Zealand? It's a stretch. It's like a state.

It's a stretch. And Germany? Yes. Oh, great, because you're renowned for your sense of humour. Well, that paid off. You'll really get into this. That's it, Germany and New Zealand, that's it? England and America.'s it England and

America America Oh yeah I've heard of both of them Great Okay well Czech Republic That wasn't said

In a Czech Republic accent That was said In a fucking Perth accent Okay Alright There's a group of South Africans At my resort Who are talking about That was said in a fucking Perth accent. Okay, alright. There's a group of South Africans at my resort who are talking about how much they're loving it over here in Thailand. I was like, that might be the best country in their accent. Thailand.

Well, New Zealand, you're lucky there's one worse accent in the world than you. Come and hang with me and my mates in the pool tomorrow. Talking about how safe it is people think their thing was South Africa might be the safest place on earth

like fuck me alright might be a bit biased but alright definitely safer than being here in Thailand God

Jesus Christ so we have of course thank you workers for being here yeah yeah yeah. And we do have some guest speakers from...

Our company. Our company, that's right. Yeah. And we have plenty of them here to speak to you tonight, to reinvigorate you, so that when you go back to the factory to make whatever the fuck we do, you'll have an extra spring in your step. Yeah.

Are you excited about that? Yeah. you'll have an extra spring in your step. Are you excited about that? Are we welcoming our first? Yeah, let's get our first. Our first one of your fellow employees. Yes. This is pathetic, two men who don't have real jobs trying to cosplay up here. Remember what you do. Of course, we have

the head of HR. Please welcome to the stage Brett Blake. Oh! Thank you! HR officially stands for Hectic Rad Khan. Yes. Or as you call it, RH.

Not funny. Also, you're reported now, Khan. So get him out of here. That's your first strike, you dog. That's great. He spells HR wrong. Yeah. I didn't fly all this way to get bullied.

I love that you've tucked the mullet in for our formal... It gets hot up here. Because you're at work. You're at work. I'm at work. Yeah. This is what I look like when I go to court. Minus the hat, you know.

I'm not a fucking animal. Yeah, yeah. And of course, let's welcome some of our other guest speakers, of course. And we've got the... Fuck, what else did they say? Oh yeah, the head of health and safety. Please welcome to the stage, Cameron Jay! Yay!

That's you! Cameron, Cameron... Yeah, no, I saw it. I saw it. Don't worry. I saw it when you were at the back of the room. Cameron James is wearing a shirt saying, I think he's gay, pointing to me, and I can't believe Brett Blake has to work with this now.

What are you going to do with this? What am I going to do with this? Honestly we're on holiday. I think it's fucking sick dude.

But come Monday you've got to get rid of that shirt baby. Oh wait today is Monday. Fuck. Anyway.

Oh I'm on holiday. Let me have fun up here. I like the sound of that come Monday. We should make that a special weekly treat.

Hang on, isn't today Monday? Alright, everyone pants down. I'm not going to stop until each and every one of you squirt. I think you need to turn that t-shirt inside out, brother. The shirt was black before he got it. It was, and so was the guy. But, um... You drained him so he turned white.

He's white now. That's how Michael Jackson ended up the way he did, actually. Okay, and Lauren's got the pyjamas on and the candle in the holder and she's out the door, folks. Sorry, Lauren. She's got the pyjamas on. What's she going to do? Stand up.

Cool. Yeah. Sounds very funny. It is great to be here as the head of health and safety. We had an issue on Pig Island today, actually. Brett got stung by a jellyfish and he asked me to urinate on him. That's true, isn't it, Brett?

Yeah, I got stung in the back of the throat. The back of the throat. Yeah, I was like oh no! And then one in my arsehole as well. And it was weird how your urine was white.

Yeah. And you were so happy for it to come out as well. It was really weird. No it just means when it's white it's well hydrated. Yeah.

And you were doing this as a preventative measure before the bite had actually happened as well? Like last night before we went to the island? It was in the car park before we got in the ocean. Yeah. It was before we got to the island. It was in the car park before we hit the ocean.

Yeah, it was before we got in the plane. It was really weird. Hang on, hang on. Have I got any sting marks on me? No. Correct. Mission accomplished. It worked out, it worked out.

God, I love our workplace. We can make those jokes because we're in international waters. It's fine, guys. And of course, we need to introduce another guest speaker who I don't really have the details yet to hand what she does. Oh, I know. Oh, do you know? Oh, actually, she'll say when she gets up here.

Oh, well... Thanks for helping me out there, Ken. Sorry, I just realised I'm stepping on... Yeah, it doesn't matter. Thanks for pissing in his throat. You really... Oh, so you mean a good thing. I did a good thing.

Yeah. Please welcome to the stage Danielle Walker. Hello. Thank you, Danielle. And of course you do what at this company? Not much. Mostly just a diversity hire. I get it.

You're the only one that's not disabled. I get it, right. I get it. Welcome, welcome, Ward. So you're the neurodiversity hire, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's me again, Ward. So you're the neurodiversity hire, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's me again, yeah. Wow, this stage is really starting to wobble with five people on it. Hey, also, there's two dudes up the back who walked in and they said,

we've never watched this podcast before. There they are. Who the fuck are these guys? Where are you from? Also, we got Tommy's mates to be security at the door. How'd that go? Do you know how much money these cunts

paid to be here? We need to buy some beers. Where are you staying? What? What? You need to buy some beers. Where are you staying? You what, sorry? What? What? Oh, you sound like the rest of them. All right.

You'll blend in nicely, brother. Danielle, you've been here for a couple of days, probably the longest of all of us up here at the moment. You're here with your sisters for their birthday present. How are they finding it? I think they're having a nice time. Okay. We got high the other day and then me and one of them decided

it would be nice to go snorkel above the gross bit of water out there. And it was like steaming hot water. And we went and bought snorkels and then we were just with our faces in the dirty algae water. And we found a sea urchin and we were staring at the sea. That was good. Can you do that one? Yeah. For God's sake.

Can we get through a story without it being derailed by opening stubbies? But also, can you please open my stubby? Brett's opening a bottle of beer with the lid of a bucket. Well, it's a boy. Good shit. That reminds me of what happened today. Looks like Brett got stung by another

jellyfish by the look of it. We were looking at this sea urchin and it was like real big and then it had this like big eyeball on it and it was a big

red eyeball and we were like face down staring at it for like 30 minutes and then I saw like red eyeball and we were like face down staring at it for like 30 minutes and then I saw like the eyeball like wobble and then I was like do you reckon that's

yeah well we figured that out when when I googled and we found out we'd been staring at it's arsehole now did it sting you and do you need medical help? Anyway, let's go find this fish. You and I went to the Divas Cabaret show last night,

the drag show across the road and you were very excited because you'd gotten a little bit high before we turned up and I was excited to see what you would make of this big cabaret drag show in that state and really the only thing that I saw manifest was

one of the drag queens was out there wearing a top hat and singing Cher and you lent in behind me and whispered in my ear, imagine if that was Carl. Okay, I'm imagining it Then I got kicked out for coming all over the floor I feel another jellyfish bite coming on From before, wow We're really having a productive day in the mines

They said it couldn't be done but I did it baby That's why he gets the big bucks off us having a productive day in the mines. He said it couldn't be done but I did it baby. That's why he gets the big bucks off us. That's right. Brett Blake I've been in Bangkok with you for four nights. Interesting.

I reckon I'm ready to go now. It looks like a fucking Excel spreadsheet and it says my name and there's like 80 dot points after it.

I've got notes on stage. They're all general notes and they're the Brett Blake notes. So there's a lot more than everyone else can find. All right, you can choose two. That's it.

All right, okay. What have we got? What should we go? That's what they said at the brothel, wasn't it, Brett? There's a lot of jellyfish bites in there, I tell you. The best message I've ever gotten, you get over somewhere like this, and you're just kind of having a a nice time and you're like, God, am I going to have anything to fucking talk about on the pod?

And then Carl messaged me two days ago and went, Brett is on one. I think we're going to be fine. Guys, I'm just trying to create content. Sorry. Sorry. There was a bar near our hotel and it was funny because there was a random listener walked in and was like,

oh my God, and walked in and met you in there. And I was like, man, what are the odds? I just walked in this random bar in Bangkok and Brett Blake's in there. And I'm like, I'd be paying about $1.05, to be honest. It's not much of a story. Wow, I saw Brett Blake at a bar. The end. Yeah, we've all seen it, can't we?

Yeah, yeah. But yeah, you have been on one. You have included in your itinerary, you booked hotels on the wrong day. I'm diversifying my portfolio. I like to share the money

around to different villages. Sorry to have been charitable, Carl. The village of Bangkok. Hotels on the wrong day, in the wrong city, and then you booked a flight coming out of the wrong airport as well. Man, what are the odds

there's two fucking airports in Bangkok? That's not on me. That's fucking stupid. So you've been hitting it pretty hard. We were riding around in a tuk-tuk and the tuk-tuk driver was trying to sell us on different things that you could go and see, elephants and museums and all the dodgy stuff.

And you were so drunk, you're screaming at him going, who do you think I am? I'm not a fucking tourist. I'm a local. I've been here four times. I've got a show at this cabaret bar later tonight. Yes. I'll tuck it in and you'll have a great time.

Yeah. It was great because you've been so drunk over about three and a half days. And you kept forgetting. Is this a fucking intervention for me? Yes. Because I'll fucking knock all of you out. It kept happening. You kept forgetting and you kept going, all right, all right.

And we're like, you need to calm down, Brett. And you're like, great, this is the new Brett. I'm like, you've said that five times in the last hour. There's so many new Bretts. The new Brett had a lot of the same anger issues as the old Brett. It was literally the old Brett that just got out of his seat, did a 360 and then sat back down again and went, I'm the new Brett. I'm like, you're still drinking the same beer.

You're still... I don't remember any of this. I cannot confirm nor any of this. So I cannot confirm nor deny these facts. Yeah, you can't be held responsible for what New Brett says and does. Exactly. That's old Brett. New Brett's up here now.

Not my problem. Well, actually... Also, I'm a HR. Who am I going to report it to? Myself? Brett, I met the New Brett three weeks ago in WA when we started that tour. And you said, I'm not drinking for the rest of this tour. And I said, that's incredible work, mate. I'm proud of you.

And then I saw you two hours later. And you had five bottles of wine. And you'd been through two and you were like, I was just talking to this guy. He runs a fucking vineyard. We're going to go check it out. He's a really fucking handsome dude. He's awesome. I reckon I'm going to set him up with all my guy. He runs a fucking vineyard. We're going to go check it out. He's a really fucking handsome dude. He's awesome.

I reckon I'm going to set him up with all my friends. He's great. We're going round, man. You had fucking two bottles of red. And I was not going to drink, but then I walked past, and this guy was like, do you want some free samples? And I didn't want to be rude, because, you know, I once again like to spread the money around different hotels,

different people I meet. Superdude ports. Yeah, I had a good time. I had a good time. You were great fun. Thank you. You see this handsome, cool guy that Brett's talking to and it's just the sign out the front of the Thirsty Camel?

That's the guy from Flight Centre. That's cool. You, now we end up... God, that BWS sign is beautiful. Going to buy some wine from his vineyard. A small family-owned business. Thirsty camel. Saw the camel, saw the udders.

I'm like, brother, let's get some vinos. We had a couple of really wild nights at a karaoke bar in Bangkok, which included one night when we walked in and there was nothing but a bunch of Japanese businessmen there. I don't like this story. And what did they sound like, Carl? Actually, they weren't Japanese, Carl. They were Korean.

You've been racist. I don't think you remember what the fuck happened, Brett. Is this the night I had my shirt on or off? Well, we can talk about that later. I got bitten by a jellyfish again. I was like, oh, can someone please piss on me already? For some reason, you just got your back up that we weren't the only people in the karaoke bar. So you're going fucking ballistic at the Japanese businessman.

You were going, get the fuck out of here. I'm going to take your samurai sword and fucking... No. No. Did you really say that? Incorrect. I said, I've got your samurai sword on our family wall, which is correct.

Oh. Yeah, granddad, anyway, whatever. I won't explain that story. Yeah, but then what did you threaten him with after that? How did your granddad get that? It's an heirloom. Yeah, interesting. From maybe a war.

I'm not sure Maybe a war I'd love to know It coming from a war Is like best case scenario It's a It's a We've got a family heirloom

And it's a Japanese samurai sword My grandad killed a sergeant Which our family Was quite proud of at the time But now we've got to figure out How to give it back To their family

It's fucked We've also got a flag With blood on it i don't know oh oh what did you expect something different you've never been to war before i have made up but they're not just fucking kissing each other just out of curiosity is the flag red but it has a white circle in the middle and then sort of an interesting pattern do you know what what pattern I'm talking about? Is it like that? Like a black pattern? I'm just curious. I want to move on. You were screaming at these businessmen

going, I make more than what you fucking earn, you cunts. Oh, that's good. Which I'm like, you absolutely do not. Once again,

I can't confirm or deny any of this because I don't know. And then you finish with, and you know what else? Yoko Ono is shit. Yeah. Yeah.

Fucking hell, man. Now, this was in between. Wait, was the mullet up or down? It was definitely down. If it's down, that's old Brett. I'm new Brett now. No, right, right. This was in between getting the mic and getting to turn the music off

and giving a best man speech for my wedding for some fucking reason well I missed your wedding and I felt bad for you because I'm really good at comedy

so it was six years ago yeah I missed I felt bad for Carl this Japanese business had to sit there for five minutes while you made up

this best man speech for me it was fucking insane they're like I don't know this song. Say what you want, but they were having a fucking good time. They loved it. Yeah, I really hope they don't speak English and they're

just getting nonsense screamed at them by you. Were you doing it over the top of a karaoke song? I'm pretty sure, yeah. That sounds like me. I don't know if you know this, Danielle. I'm quite loud. So wait, that's night one. Yeah.

That's night one in Bangkok. Well, night two was actually surprisingly worse, I think. Was that the night I got... Which night did I get mugged? Oh, yes. Yeah. Well, no, you didn't get mugged. Oh, no, I got...

Well, I fucking... You got... They sharked me at pool with the fucking rats. Yeah. The two of you are remembering these details as if it was like three years ago. It feels like it. It does feel like it. The end of last week.

It was every night has been me and Brett go out and then we all decide we have to go home. And then in the morning I hear, you know when we got home, I went back out again for four hours. Man, this Apple Watch is crazy. It's like you went to bed for an hour and I was like, man, it turns out I was out from 1am to 3am. And then I was like, oh yeah, I was in a pool comp. I made some new friends. I beat them on the first game and then they fucking cheated me on the second and they wouldn't give me my money back.

There was a big ruckus. There was huge guys and you were like, I can beat you at pool and then you beat them easily and then you go, I'm going to put $100 on it and then they go, here we go. No, I won money the first time and then we raised them easily, and then you go, I'm going to put $100 on it, and then they go, here we go. No, I won money the first time, and then we raised the stakes the second game, and then I lost, and then there were fucking four massive dudes. I was like, I'll fucking skin all of you.

I had been drinking all day and had zero hand-eye coordination left, and they pool-sharked me. Yeah, yeah. Honestly, I can't believe it, you know. Took advantage of me, that's what happened. You did say to me at one point you missed the ball, didn't you? Yeah, I missed the ball and nearly

teared the carpet, but I was like maybe I should go home. I did some roadshow with Brett Blake maybe like three weeks ago, and at the start of that, he also said I'm not drinking. And then went out for a night. And then the next day said, I woke up with a head so sore,

I had to look in the bathroom mirror to make sure that I hadn't gotten in a fight. I also think I got in a fight that night as well. Yeah, what did the Apple Watch have to say that morning? High impact. Loud noises. Please God, let it end. We're sick of monitoring this guy's heart rate.

The battery's about to explode on this thing. Oh my God. Yeah, but this trip I didn't say I wasn't drinking so that's why I've gone up a notch. Yeah, that's smart. He's got us on a technicality there. He's found the perfect loophole. That sounds very new Brett.

Yeah, well, new Brett. That's old Brett, this is new Brett. Yep. How many Bretts have we had tonight so far? While we've been on stage? Well, if you keep pissing me off, you'll see old Brett very fucking soon. Have you got any other fucking goss there, you fucking arsehole? And by goss you mean fucked things you did?

He's so angry. He's spotted. Trying to fight the toilet. Mulleted comedian. By the way, by the way, that night where he fucking was trying to kill the Japanese businessman, this was after he had an edible. How crazy would he have gone if he hadn't had the edible? That's the new, that's Brett Point version three.

Right, right, right. Maybe the edible made me angry. I don't know. Oh, yeah. You know when people have been, stabbed people to death after they've had marijuana? Yeah, yeah. That thing happens.

Bob Marley was always getting in fights. Man, I can't believe you're turning on me after I made a beautiful speech for you. You know, I take it all back, Kyle. Well, you did actually save my life, apparently. Well, yeah, you're giving me shit, which is fucked, because I saved drunk Brett, old Brett. Sorry, we'll refer to it, old Brett. Kyle was so fucking maggot That I had to take him home

I had to take him home So at the karaoke You then went out again You could have probably dragged me out Yeah, well At the karaoke bar You fell off the stool And I fucking catched you

Before you hit the wall First day of the night And then we're walking And again, to clarify This is what you've told me and Milan told me this is what we were this is what was happening

at the time I don't know why but apparently we're standing on top of the stool standing up and both of us had our shirts off at karaoke

why the fuck was that happening was this old Carl or new Carl that was old Carl technically new Carl is still old Carl. And then I caught you like a baby, and I was like, fuck, that's funny. And then you were so pissed.

I was like, I better make sure he gets home before I go lose some money in a pool comp. And then you felt, when you're walking, you stepped on one of these big curbs, and your head started going, you know those fucking massive curbs? And I had to dive to catch him before you fucking ripped your head off. It was insane. And then I carried you home. Then I took you to bed. And I gave you the honeymoon speech.

You loved it. You were like, oh, I've got jellyfish bites everywhere. The honeymoon speech. Well, thank you, Brett, I've got jellyfish bites everywhere. The honeymoon speech. Well, thank you, Brett, for saving my life. I don't remember any of it. I don't remember any of it. Milan's at the back. Milan, did I save his life twice?

Twice. Thank you. Also, I got so out of control, Milan told me to calm down. I've never thought I'd see the day. Well, you had such a big night, you made six different phone calls to apologise to anyone you knew that next morning. I've made a lot of phone calls this trip. A lot of them.

I'm sorry. That seems really paying for itself. Oh, yeah. Well, I flew in. So we've been in Samui for, what, two nights? Mm-hmm. And we flew in. Me and you flew in

on the same plane to go to Samui from Bangkok. And there was a very famous celebrity on the plane with us. There was a Hollywood actress on the plane that we, me and you,

walked in directly next to. Oh my God. As we were walking in, people started saying, Brother, I had like 14 beers at the fucking airport lounge. I heard you tried to fight her

at one point. Was it Yoko Ono? I make more money than you. I've got your fucking Oscar on the wall by now. Your husband's been dead for 40 years. You haven't got any money. Fuck you. So a very famous Hollywood actress we walked into the plane with.

And people were like saying, oh, my God, that's a famous Hollywood actress. And then we're walking in next to her. And then we sat down and as we're walking in, we were behind her. And people were like, I'm pointing at her. I thought that was for me. Yeah. That's the guy that bashed me last night. That's the guy we took 50 bucks off in a pool game.

50 bucks. It was 110, whatever. I'll be coming back for it if I listen to this. Yeah, so you guys are really into your Hollywood films and such. You posted a photo of her in the group chat. This was infuriating. You said everyone is really excited by this person on the plane, but I don't know who it is.

And we're just like, what are we meant to do with this information? And then you said, I've got a photo of them. We all got really excited. And then the photo was like, if you could see her from behind and sort of a cheekbone like like that much yeah and like a bit of elbow and i was like i know that fucking elbow yeah it's wilson from home improvement i'd know that lack of detail anyway. So have you found out who... Well, people were next to me and they were talking about her.

Right. So I got a few details. So now... Okay, and I did a guess. You can guess. I did a guess based off the cheekbone. Right, okay. Was that your guess?

That was my guess. How dare you? Also, I haven't seen any of this information. Have you guys got a different group chat that I'm out of? I feel like old Brett's coming back. Yeah. No, old Brett's in it. Yeah, old Brett's in it.

We've got to add new Brett into the chat. Oh, you've got to add new Brett in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Old Brett's already guessed it. Don't worry. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Classic old Brett.

So I guessed from the cheekbone I thought it maybe looked a bit like Rosamund Pike. From Gone Girl? Gone Girl. Because this is the beauty of this guessing game. It's like, who does it kind of look like? Who could it feasibly be? And who doesn't Carl know?

It's a very interesting sort of Venn diagram that you've got to try and land in the middle of. Carl had a lot of time to think about it because he doesn't buy in-flight entertainment and was just staring at a plane for fucking eight hours. Like a fucking psycho. I bought it you idiot. You're just on the plane going I can't wait to get some more potatoes.

I can't wait to get to the cabaret show. Just asking the flight attendants, is anyone on this plane famous so I can just stare at the back of them and try and work out who they are for an hour? That was pretty good. It's as good as a movie, but it's free. Exactly. Well, that was on the Bangkok Airways.

There wasn't any in-flight entertainment, so I was just looking at this woman. For how long? 45 minutes. Okay, that's good. That's normally how long I stare at chicks for as well. That's why I'm looking out at you guys. Well, Tommy mentioned that, what's the show?

White Lotus. The White Lotus. Is filming in Thailand at the moment. Is that right? And then you also reminded us that Parker Posey is in the car. Yeah, I thought maybe Parker Posey. But then that being said, it can't be anyone too good if they're on the same fucking flight as Brett and Carl.

Yeah, it's Jetstar. They can't. It's D-grade. No, this is on the Bangkok Airways flight. Sydney Sweeney, perhaps? When the fuck did this happen? Oh, brother. Do you not remember flying into Koh Samui?

We were on that flight. How do you think we got here? I was on a different plane to you, wasn't I? Oh, fuck, you were too. Yeah. Who did I fly with? Old Carl. Who did I fly with?

Milan. Fuck, we're there. Was it me and you, Milan? Yeah. Okay. I'm the fucking idiot, am I? I knew it was an alcoholic. I just didn't know which one.

All right, okay. All right, now I get it. All right, all right, all right. How is Milan the voice of reason in this trip? This is insane. No, this is the new Milan. Bring back the old Milan. This one's pissing me off.

So have you got a guess? An estimation? I am with you on the White Lotus thing Someone from that probably seems Because I do know that they just started resuming filming I don't know if it's necessarily here But Walton the Gog Goggins is back in Thailand That I saw on his Instagram the other day

Who is? Fucking Walton Goggins Who's that? He's a beautiful woman He's often flying Bangkok air. Beautiful cheekbones. The elbow. The elbow on Walton.

I'll give you a clue. Yeah, please. I'll give you a clue because I was watching this lady from behind and she had her phone out. This is so weird. By the way, I'm always watching them from behind. Always. Carl's just staring at it 45 minutes without blinking. Can I just check quickly,

before we engage in this game any further, did you actually figure out who it is? Well, this is the beautiful... The Joker. This is the beautiful thing about this game. Yes. This is the beautiful thing about this game, because when you work out who it is,

then so do I Yeah Whoa Right So So here's a clue She was on her phone And she got a text from someone called

She's got a phone I think I know who it is Yeah, yeah, yeah Pamela Anderson I got it She got a text from someone called Peter White Is that too much of a giveaway? Okay, well She got a text from someone called Peter White.

Is that too much of a giveaway? Well, Mike White is the showrunner of White Lotus. You're right. Do you think that's a fake name for Mike White in her phone? She's got him saved under an alias in her phone in case someone takes her phone. Well, you know, I have Robe saved in my phone as John. Oh, yeah. Fuck.

Does Mike White go under the comedy name of Mike when his real name's Peter? Microphone, wait. Yeah, Peter White. Does Mike White have, like, a relative that, like, works on the show maybe? You know what I mean? Is Mike White's middle name Peter? Yeah. Someone can Google that.

Can we go back to fuck things Brett did? I'm bored. Peter White is simply a name that nobody else could have. Yes. Yeah, exactly. So if we solve this, we solve the case. Well, I can't give out my big clues up front. All right, hit us with the next clue.

Fuck. Is there another clue? I'll think of one. She... What does she smell clue? Fuck. Is there another clue? I'll think of one. She... What does she smell like? Yeah. She was on Instagram, so she's got Instagram. Yeah, okay. That narrows it down, yeah.

She was reading... I watched her read a movie script. So that was pretty cool. Right. Right. So she's a... Have you got it yet? So she's a famous actor who's reading a movie script. Yes. Right. Right. So she's a... Have you got it yet? So she's a famous actor who's reading a movie script.

Yes. Okay. And she knows Peter White. She knows Peter White. Yeah. How old? Good question. Couldn't see from behind.

Based off her hand in the photo Carl sent, looks like it could be mature. Yeah. Or been in a swimming pool for a long time. I would say 40 plus. Kieran Perkins. Oh, it was the Thorpe eater. She looked between 40 to 50 years old to me.

Right. Interesting. Did she have coloured hair or grey hair? That's our next company, From Behind. I'm the CEO of that one, by the way. Oh, this is another major clue. She was wearing a hat. Oh my God.

This is like Guess Who, but heaps better. I thought you were starting with the shit clue. Have you got any big clues? Was she American? That's a great fucking question. That's a really good one. Surely you'd know that. Based on the back of her head.

It did look not Australian. I'll put it that way. It looked international. The back of her head. It did look not Australian. I'll put it that way. Yeah, okay. It looked international, the back of her head. I believe from when I walked past someone and they said she's from Hollywood, I will say yes, she's from America. Are you some old bitch that flew over here yesterday and was reading a script on the plane?

Yeah, yeah. God, please, put us out of this misery. I'll be very clear. I do not know who this person is. What? Hang on, what? What?

I do not know the name of this person. Yeah. But I just figured we'll all work it out together. Yeah. Holy shit. We're having walkouts.

All right, all right. I've got major clues. All right. Old Brett's coming back. I'm bored. Let's go. I've got major clues. Alright, old Brett's coming back. I'm bored. Let's go. I've got major clues. Give me some major clues.

Because someone next to me said, it's that person. From the Tom Cruise movies. From the Tom Cruise movies. Like the Mission Impossible movies, you mean. Possibly. She's not here anymore. I can't ask her any more questions.

Can we cross-reference Parker Posey with Tom Cruise? Yeah, I doubt it. I just doubt it. Why didn't you ask her what her name was? Why didn't I ask her what her name was? You didn't think to. Oh. Yeah.

I didn't think to. No, well, that'd be rude. I was too busy taking a photo of the back of a stranger's head. And also, if someone's saying, oh, it's the woman from the Tom Cruise movies, she doesn't know either, let's be honest. Otherwise, she would have said the name. You fucking idiot.

I'm the smart one in this story. She'd have given you at least a slightly better clue to work with, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you said you were reading her emails on her phone. Yes. You didn't see like a name at all, like yours truly, Rosamund Pike. Yeah, the email sig. She's Ely, you know.

Yeah. Meryl Streep or whatever. Yeah. The hands would not say Meryl's age. No, no, no. I did see an email that was saying pub... What the fuck is wrong with you? Staring at someone on a plane for so long?

You're a fucking psycho. Man, you were on the wrong plane. It was all happening on this plane. I was very well aware I was on the wrong plane. Everyone got over the presence of a celebrity on that plane very early and then they've spent the rest of the flight staring at you being like, what is this man doing? No, they were staring at me because I had my phone up and I was filming her.

Trying to hold Shazam up in front of her to just see if it'll tell you? I was actually, I was filming her and then recording it and then sort of magnifying it to try and read her emails. Right, right. Sort of like something a Tom Cruise character would do in one of his movies. Minority Report. Yeah, Minority Report, that's right. I was doing that thing.

That's what gave you the idea. Also, so she was reading a script from a Hollywood script, which usually if you get given a script, they're worried that you could leak it. So across the script it's watermarked with your name in massive

letters. So it should have said Rosamund Pike. Or like Halle Berry. I can rule out Halle Berry. Okay, so she's white. Interesting. I don't see colour, but I smell it. Except for Peter White. So, yeah.

All right, I mean... Who is the lady in the Tom Cruise movies? There's... Who? Rebecca Ferguson. Could be Rebecca Ferguson. Could be Keely. Hayes, what's her name?

The one from the new one? Hayley Atwell. Hayley Atwell, sorry. Sorry. Didn't mean to offend. I mean, the easiest thing here, not to trigger you, because I know you've been done by this before,

but we need to see those flight logs. That's the only way we're going to get to the foot. This is a sore spot for Carl. She was between 40 and 50 years old, alright? Gave a foot massage like you would not believe. The Samui Express. Can we post the photo you took of her into the

group right now? And everyone in the audience can look at her beautiful elbow. That's a great interactive suggestion. Interactive. All right.

I'm going to do that. Okay. Well, I would like to say once I recognised a lady, I was on a flight from Melbourne to Townsville and a lady was editing nudes of herself. Hell yes. Fuck yeah. Car would have been all over this.

It was like for the full three-hour flight and I was watching her um change the perspective so if she was that side or that side um in the like it was sort of like a butt self and after about two hours i realized i was like i know her and i recognized her yeah who was it i can't say because she's a director i might be the same woman. I'll tell you after. Really? A famous director?

No, not famous. But somebody within a circle we would work with. We have a festival Facebook group. I recognise that bush anyway. We have a festival Facebook group and I've put the picture in and said, who is this? It's fucking Rosamund Pike. Get ready, guys. Based on that bun, that is a fucking gone girl bun right there.

Did you mention she had glasses? You didn't mention glasses? I didn't mention she had glasses. Oh, for God's sakes. It's Rosamund Pike. Get ready, guys. Based on that bun, that is a fucking gone girl bun right there. Did you mention she had glasses? You didn't mention glasses? Oh, for God's sakes. It's Rosamund Pike. But her phone screen looks like a Microsoft Windows background too. Alright, what's going on?

Who's got good guesses here? Do you reckon you've got it? Have you got it? There's a lot of chatter in the room all of a sudden. Yeah. We got a result up the front. What do we think?

What do we think? Who is it? She's gone minority report on it. What have we got? She's gone full Carl. She's standing up. This is an announcement. No, take the floor.

I'm HR. Do what you want, man. Stand up. Do you want to do it to the microphone? Yeah. All right, here we go. Oh, don't worry.

I'll read it. I don't know who the fuck that is. We need to know, I can do this all day. Let me look at her. Now we've got a

new round where we have to work out who's in this photo that this woman has on her phone. You've just put on a fucking movie,

dude. Yeah, fucking video's playing. What is going on? Who is the Hollywood actress? White Lotus. Oh, White Lotus.

Yeah, one of the White Lotus people. She said it's this lady here. Middle. Middle. Oh, Michelle Monaghan. She is in the Mission Impossible movies with Tom Cruise. Oh, my God. Whoa.

What the fuck? Oh, wow. What's your name? Michelle... Victoria. Employee of the month. Everyone else, pack it up and go home. Tommy, I've got to say, I'm impressed by the way you just asked that woman what her name was.

I'm going to use that next time. What's the what? You can just Google Michelle Monaco. Brother, you have everything you need. You idiot. M-I-C-H-A-L? No? Fuck off.

She's French. They spell it differently. Get back to the old bread. He could spell. So if that was her flying in here to Koh Samui, like I said, I knew they were starting filming of White Lotus again, but that means that they definitely are filming it here now on the island. And they're filming it at the stay, which is crazy.

And we're all in it. And we all get to fuck Michelle Monaghan. Who's going to die, though? We've got to try and be in the background of this fucking season. Yes. We've got to go looking for them. What's that? Peter White is her husband.

Peter White is her husband. Holy fuck. Wow. This is crazy. It sure does take a village, doesn't it, folks? Yeah. Wow. This is crazy. It sure does take a village, doesn't it, folks? The text between the two of them were very interesting. Oh. Sounds like Peter White likes to do a bit of...

Wait, some new information. Oh, my God, we have a long one. Breaking news. Oh, fuck. Oh! She's going to change. I actually follow her on Instagram.

She's so cute. She's posted a photo of her drinking a Chang in Thailand. That's just like us. Holy shit.

I'm so starstruck by that beer right now. God, fuck yeah. I'm holding a Chang. Man, I'm

going to get my ass eaten on the third season of White Lotus. I also screen grabbed that exact image and said, will she be there as a joke to you about two weeks ago? Oh, you did too? Yeah.

Oh, my God. God, if only you'd been on that same flight. Fuck! It's my one chance! Just think, if Michelle Monaghan, if you'd talked to her, you could have gotten her in here and she could have been up the back of the room for 55 minutes waiting to come on instead of Harley Breen.

Also, we were standing behind her before we knew she was a big star and we were telling stories about you and she turned around to sort of go, shut up. Oh my God. Shut up, you're making me too horny. And also, why are you talking shit about me when I'm not there, you fuck? Because you've just done four days worth of fucking insane dumb shit. So Zappos, she was texting Peter White,

honey, we've got to get a divorce. I've heard about this really hot guy. He's racist against the Japanese. I was not racist. I was just screaming at him. And it happened to be Japanese. I scream at everyone. Ask anyone.

I don't like Yoko Ono either. Peter, you love her. We're too different. Was she an economy? There is only economy on that plane. Wow. Yeah, pretty cool, hey? So now you know someone who saw Michelle Monaghan.

Yeah, pretty good, pretty good. True crime podcast. True crime podcast. This feels like the end of the jinx. Yeah. Except I'm going to kill myself Instead of my wife Robert Durst doesn't know the name of anyone he killed I think I killed him, I don't know

Should we, I mean Maybe we should just save Harley for next episode And send him to the bar But we need to get Is that okay Harley? I'll give you the hot tip, he's already there Do you want to wait till next week, Harley? All right, all right.

Because we've got another guy we've got to get on anyway. Speaking of big stars, speaking of massive stars on planes, I presume he was on a plane. We didn't travel with him. But we have a little segment that we did at home called The Worst of Melbourne Comedy, and we unearthed an amazing star. didn't travel with him but um we have a little segment that we did at home called the worst of melbourne comedy and we unearthed an amazing star uh he you may know him from this show he's got nothing else since then but he we did fly him to kosamui

And as a little treat Please welcome to the stage The comedy stylings of Abhishek Mishra Well, I just thought I should wear my T-shirt in case you don't know what I look like. Abhishek's got a picture of himself on the T-shirt that Tommy drew. Yes. Hang on a second.

Just let me stand next to you for one second. Imagine. Imagine. Imagine that. Can I have a look at the shirt, please? Now, because Dave Hughes had that shirt and then he's copied that. Yes. Right. Have I told you the story about Hughes in that shirt?

If you could just stand there, Abishak. Sorry, you might see someone kill. Anyway, yeah. He's reminding me a lot of Michelle, whoever the fuck it was at the moment. I've seen the back of his head. Give me a few clues who this guy is. Big Hollywood stuff.

Right, right, right, right. Just talking shit from behind. Right? From before, yeah. Sorry, are you telling a story before he does this? No, no, go. No, you go, King. I don't want to upset you.

Because that's what we do. We don't interrupt Abhishek on the show. That's it. You better shut the fuck up. No, no, no. Fuck it. This guy sounds a lot like old Brett. Hey, I'll have you know I'm on the same plane as Hollywood stars, all right?

Just don't have a go at me. Can I ask a question before we start? Yes. Before we start, yes. Well, before you start, have you workshopped the material? No! Okay, no. We've banned that.

We've banned that. Excellent. You are hearing the same joke you heard two months ago. You are hearing the same joke you heard two months ago. Me and Tommy have heard this joke four times. The only freshie is Brett Blake, so we really... But the first time I met... And those two guys up the back.

Who have no idea what's happening. When I met Abhishek at the shit comedies of Melbourne. What is it? Shit Melbourne comedies? Spleen. The Brett Blake solo show. Alright. No, the worst comedy of Melbourne.

Someone was... Abhishek was standing next to me and I've never met you before and this guy was on stage bombing and you went to me like this. You looked at me, made eye contact, pointed at him, went...

Wow. So, take it away king I don't remember doing that I don't know what he's talking about that was old Abhishek this is new Abhishek from before new Abhishek with the old material

great also I believe in you brother send it this is going to be so good I can't wait to hear what happens material. Great. Also, I believe in you, brother. Send it. This is going to be so good. I can't wait to hear what happens. Well, then let me start talking. Fucking hell. So yeah, I've been reflecting a lot on my life lately.

You know? That's what you get. That's what you do when you have a lot of time in your hands. You think about... and yeah, life's been okay, you know. But life's not always great when you are doing gigs at the basement or being flown to close to the moon. Right? Sometimes life can be kind of boring and and that's

especially for Harley Breen at the moment oh you'll like this Abhishek's going to do some new material yeah he didn't let me finish last time yeah yeah he'll it's fine Yeah, he didn't let me finish last time. Yeah. Yeah, he'll... It's fine. Today he's going to hear the joke.

Yeah. No. And yeah, been kind of bold, man. Kind of fucking bold is what I am when I'm not flying to Koh Samui. And when I'm bold, I like going places I wouldn't normally go to Koh Samui. And when I'm bored,

I like going places I wouldn't normally go to. Go on. Yeah. So yeah, the other day, I was so bored, I decided to go to the bank. Oh. I decided to go to the fucking bank.

That's how... Hang on. Hang on. Like the NAB or. Yeah. Commonwealth. Oh, there's different banks here in Thailand, so it could be anything. Right.

But yeah, it's not that. Hey, I asked a question. I flew this guy all the way over. How rude. Won't even turn around to face me. Well, I'm about to answer the question. I'm about to talk about the bank I went to. Oh, okay. Oh, please go on. So Well, I'm about to answer the question. I'm about to talk about the bank I went to. Oh, okay.

Oh, please, go on. See, I went to a bank the other day, you know. But it's not that one. Not the one you fucking creeps are thinking of. Right? I went to the one where you donate sperm. Yes. Oh.

Oh. That was bold. That was fucking bold. I'm so dumb. I thought it was the money bank. Hey, Tasmanians up the back, which bank did you think it was going to be? None of you saw it coming.

What did you think, Tassie guys? Yeah. Hang on, you're standing at the back and people are giving you spoilers? Word about the sperm bank bit has made it down to Launceston. Fuck yeah. Anyway, thanks for coming. We'll grab money from you after the show.

You don't have to give money. He'll talk about it in a second. You'll see. You'll see. You'll see. Spoilers, it's not what you're thinking of. Someone saw it coming at the bank, that's for sure. That feels like a great old street joke. I went to the sperm bank the other day.

They didn't see it coming. Yes. There was a blind guy that worked at the sperm bank. He didn't see it coming. That's good. Hey, you can use that. Where did you get your ideas from? Me.

That was a co-write. That was a co-write. That was a co-write. Sorry, that's you. That's you. That's you. Guys, let's keep something in the tank because we've got to do this two more times on this trip, okay? Let's not get too carried away on that one.

Yeah, we're letting Abishek keep it in the tank. He's said about five lines so far. Other sperm make you got to let it out of the tank, so... I call my boss the tank. Take it away, Abishek. Don't listen to these fucking cunts. Hey! You're supposed to be saying something.

You're the only person who hasn't heard this bit. I haven't heard the joke and I'm, you know. Fuck. Finally we find something that you won't talk over the top of. Fucking hell. Yeah, this is new bread. I told you. I remember being like you. Remember when we'd never heard the bit before, Carl? I'm jealous I remember being like You remember when we'd

Never heard the bit before Carl Yeah yeah I'm jealous Seems like a long time ago But Can I finally speak Fuck yeah So you're at the bank

So I'm at the bank Yeah I finally got To the sperm bank Right Cause I was about And uh And uh Fuck I forgot my own bit

Whoa Abishak I forgot my own bit. Whoa! Abishak. I forgot my own bit. That is very unprofessional. Unprofessional, man. That is very unprofessional, Abishak. I fly you all the way here to perform to our people and you can't even prepare properly?

That is... I think you might talk about the lady who works behind the counter next. Yeah, thank you. Oh, the superfan on stage. The superfan up here. Wait, have you heard this joke before? Oh, yeah, I ripped into you big time. That's not how I remember it.

Well, we can recap it, don't worry. If only there was a way of listening back to it. Yeah, so... Very legitimate sperm bank, right? It wasn't just any in, like, an abandoned hospital or whatever. Right? Very legitimate sperm bank with, like, a reception. Right?

That's how you know something is legitimate, because it has a reception. Of course. And there's a lady behind the reception. And I walk up. I walk up to her. It's my first time there, if you can believe it. Right?

And I'm like, hey, hello, I guess. And then she goes, sir, what is the purpose of your visit? That's weird. Yeah. I'm like, what do do you mean What is the purpose Of my visit Can you not see My fucking face

Was your face Covered in sperm Were you Had you written I'm here for sperm On your face Yeah Were you doing a drop off

Were you doing an impression Of me and Cameron James On the beach Yeah yeah yeah Did you get stung By a jellyfish Outside a bank Yeah My jellyfish outside a bank?

Yeah, my jellyfish bite was on my face. That's what I said. This is great. This is great. This is going so well. That's what you should tell people, by the way. And, fuck,

forgot to give everyone my story. Abhishek, do you not have a podcast now? I've seen the artwork for it, and the podcast is called like Sperm Bank or something? Yeah, it's called the Sperm Bank Podcast, right? That's what it's called, the Sperm Bank Podcast. I started it because I just want to talk shit, you know?

And also, I mean, for people that don't listen... Yeah, which is everyone. Hey, come on, man Believe in yourself I mean, we aren't, but you I believe in you, brother The Sperm Bank podcast is having a live podcast tomorrow? Can I be on it? Yeah, absolutely

Fuck yeah, I'll be on that Wait, wait, wait, wait What time? Whenever you're free, man I'll be at the bar across the road You come get me be on that. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What time? Whenever you're free, man. I'll be at the bar across the road. You come get me. He'll be the guy screaming at a bunch of Japanese people

in there. I was not. I was doing a wedding speech very loudly. Thank you. Can I ask about this podcast? In terms of like... The one we're on currently? Yeah. No, the sperm bank one. I'm trying to picture Can I ask about this podcast? In terms of like... The one we're on currently? Yeah.

No, the Sperm Bank one. I'm trying to picture like this person who would type in Sperm Bank to Apple Podcasts. Yeah. And what they're wanting to listen to. I mean, it's usually couples who are trying to have a baby. I guess those are my target audience. They would type in Sperm bank And they'll find me accidentally Do they get any help through your podcast? No fucking way

Not through my podcast Can you imagine if this trip ends With Abhishek having Michelle Monaghan On the sperm bank podcast That would be good I think that would be a mission impossible Speaking of bad comedy That would be good. I think that would be a Mission Impossible. Speaking of bad comedy.

I don't know. I don't know. If that happened, it might really help her career or something. Then maybe she could finally get recognised properly. Yeah. That's it.

How are the numbers going on the Sperm Bank podcast? It's pretty shit so far. Well, not anymore, baby. After tonight, this is a big plug. Yeah, I mean, if you guys listen to it, fucking let me know what I can improve, because it's pretty shit at the moment.

No, no, it's good. It's cool. Listen to it. It's fucking amazing. Give them the URL so they know how to find it. Just type Sperm Bank and Abhishek Mishra. It's good. Listen to it. It's fucking amazing. Give them the URL so they know how to find it. Just type sperm bank and Abhishek Mishra. That's all you need to do. Man, brother, I've been typing that in for weeks.

I haven't seen it. No, that's just sperm you've been typing in. Yeah, should I still keep doing the joke? Yeah, yeah. All right. I don't know the ending yet, so I'm excited. I don't know, Abhishek. Can you remember it?

I'm excited. I don't know, Abhishek. Can you remember it? I'm dead. Meow. If these cunts didn't break my flow every fucking ten seconds, I would remember it. I love this guy. He's so cute. Yeah, so reception very legitimate I guess that's what I was talking about

and she asked me a question I wasn't expecting because she's like what is the purpose of your visit so I gave her the benefit of the doubt because it's my first time there and I asked her what are my options and she goes well you can either donate a sample or you can purchase some yes i'm like do you care to elaborate

on that please and she goes look we get a lot of samples from a lot of bunch of losers like you which never gets picked by the couples who are trying to have a baby. So after a period, we just sell them. I'm like, why do you feel you had to tell me that? There were two guys before me in the queue waiting and you didn't tell them that? And what exactly is she envisioning? Me with like a plastic cup walking around city with a straw in it? Is this new? Is this a new part?

Yeah. You know, I was against new material but I like this. I like how relatable it is for me. So yeah. I'd add a little umbrella,

like a little cocktail umbrella. Oh, cocktail umbrella. Yeah, cocktail. That's good. Drinking a penis colada. Oh yeah. Okay, that's good. That's good. Yeah. Swallowingada. Oh, yeah. Okay, that's good. That's good.

Yeah. Swallowing sperm. Oh, that doesn't work. That's different. That's different. Sex with a man on the beach. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Imagine that. A dick sucking cowboy Oh that's Oh so close That's so similar Oh so close Yeah yeah

Damn it Damn it Cum beer No that's nothing That's nothing Yeah it's okay It's alright Are you getting any of this by the way?

I like how this guy's just sitting there Oh yeah what a resort You know? Yeah. What? Our company, by the way, our company, we allow, like, a lot of shit talk. Just letting him know.

We need to glue him in. Oh, yeah, what does Abhishek do in this company? I forgot. Head of banking. What? Oh my god Who would have thought Who would have thought he'd get a response like that Without even needing to say Who the fuck is buying cum in the middle of the day

Abhishek Mishra everyone Fuck yeah That was amazing Abhishek Mishra, everyone! Fuck yeah. That was amazing, Abhishek. Great set. That was so funny. Oh my god. Wow.

I mean, we don't like to say this often on this show, but I think he's done it again. That was magic at the end there, dude. The very end was really good. That was a perfect dismount. Just like a lot of the actions happening at the sperm bank.

The end bit was the very important. The end was really good. But we will get to see that joke in full, properly in two more times. Well, we also have our stand-up show here tomorrow night. And are we saying that he's allowed to do different material, given that that's not being recorded? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No point seeing the sperm bank bit

if we can't riff over the top of it. Yeah, exactly. The sperm bank bit's going to feel lonely without us. All right, well, that is going to do us for another instalment of The Little Dun Dun Club. Give a big round of applause for Brett Blake, Denia Walker, Cameron Blake, Daniel Walker, Cameron James,

Abhishek Mishra. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you later, mates. And they've done it again. Oh my goodness me. What a... Look, so talking Dumb Dumb,

we're recording this... Look, people that Dundun, we're recording this. Look, people that come to the show are probably upset at this arrangement, but we are recording this part of the show on the beach. We recorded the main part of the show inside because of the capabilities of the stay resort. That's how it works. The beach out the front won't fit 150 people and they don't particularly want to pull their electronics out onto the beach.

Fair enough. So, yeah. But, hey, for this operation, we're more than happy to bring the electronics out here. Yes. Get a bit of, you can probably hear a bit of gentle breeze in the microphone right now. Yeah. Oh, heaven. This morning, we were like-

We were looking like a couple of prize assholes. This morning, you were like- We just got a thumbs up. Yeah. Hey, could you get a photo of us? Would you mind taking a photo of us? Ohholes. This morning you were like... We just got a thumbs up. Could you get a photo of us? Would you mind taking a photo of us? Oh yeah, can you take a photo? Is that alright?

We're getting a photo. Some randoms are very unaccustomed to taking photos. This guy is a guy who absolutely does not want to take a photo of us. But now we're getting a photo taken of us by the wife. Yes. A little bit closer. Is that all right? Photo.

Yeah, that's it. Yes, this is good photography. Great. Thank you very much. Thank you, miss. Thank you. Thank you. You too. We're're gonna have a good day you too um sorry guys that was great but you will now get the full picture of how big accounts we look like on the beach right now when i went up to the guy i was like can you take this photo and he was like

no i have parkinson's I have Parkinson's. He should be interviewing us then. When you were like, this morning we were like, where should we do this? And you were like, on the beach or in a room?

And I was like, of course on the beach. And then now that we're here, I'm like, yeah, we should just be in a room. Yeah, we look like fucking idiots. We really look like fucking idiots. Imagine two people on the beach with microphones.

Yeah. Fucking microphones. Yeah. Fucking hell. Yeah. And people are walking past us trying to enjoy their holiday and having a stunk up by the look of us. Fucking hell. Yeah. But, you know, they get a good story out of it.

Yeah. There's all these two freaks on the beach. Actually, if I saw Ross right now. Yeah. I'd be pretty excited. You'd be wrapped. I'd be like, I saw a pair of absolute cunts. Yeah.

It's every trip you go on You need to see some Fucking freak in the street Doing something weird It bonds everyone on the trip Well also With us needing more Podcast material I really wish

I could see us So they could talk about us Yeah yeah yeah On our show Let's go looking Cause there Look yeah Maybe I'll talk about this

On the next live episode That we do But there's a podcast Recording studio Like across the road From where we're staying What? Yeah

There's a weed shop Talk. There's a weed shop. Talk about that. There's a weed shop that's got us on a podcast. Talk about that later. We've got to try and get on this show. Talk about that later. We've got to try and get on this weed podcast, and we've got to try and get on White Lotus. This trip's going to do a lot for our IMDBs if we play our cards right.

Hey, we are going to... We're sitting on the beach, and he's facing the way that planes come into Semeleon. There is one coming right now. We're going to have a plane go overhead. There could be another star of the White Lotus, who I don't know the name of, going right over the top of us inside the next two minutes, I reckon. Yeah, and you'll probably be able to hear it on the recording

because they come in low and they are fucking loud. That's been my sort of unofficial alarm each morning is the first flight of the day coming in and waking me up at like, I think probably like five o'clock. Well, one of the many beauties of Koh Samui is the airport is so close to the main part. Yeah. And once you get off the plane, it's five minutes in a cab. Yeah. It's so fucking good.

Yeah. So that means that, yeah, we do get very low overhead planes. We could get someone from this plane that we're looking at right now is a chance of walking along the beach before we finish this talk and dump. Oh, yeah. And being like, hey, it's those two cunts I saw out of the window of the plane. That's true. Do you think anyone up there right now is like, what the hell are those two doing? We're not the Great Wall of China.

You can't see us podcasting from space so probably not this is like the gods must be crazy but it's just us chucking microphones up at the plane trying to get content yeah great good all right well well we had fun we had a great release that everyone was really into it i really didn't want to have a shit one yep yep to get everyone halfway around the world and then go oh that was a six out of ten so that was a very fun show um what a what a gig that harley brain scott just gets bumped he's just he's just been here for two days doing nothing yeah but he was like he was fine with it but he was also like i wish i had have known that i wasn't on because i would have gotten more turbo this afternoon which is honestly a pretty fair complaint i would

be annoyed too if i was holding myself back. And also he he did put in the request to go can I have the day off on the last day and I'll just get fucked up all day. Well not anymore mate. You're on the clock. The worst.

We are of course a listener supported show patreon.com slash little dum dum club if you want to get on there. Keep the keep the lights on keep the board shorts on

keep the sunnies on keep the you know every five dollars shorts on keep the sunnies on keep the you know for every five dollars at the moment you're supporting us with that is

you know like 16 beers here in Koh Samui yes exactly it's some good stuff your dollar is going further right now as we speak

exactly exchange rate's good exchange rate is good yep so littledumbdumbclub.com is where you can find the link to that. It's a fun little community

here in Coastal Moon at the moment. We've got a little Facebook group for all the people, all the punters who are here and they are all

sharing information and a lot of it is just them going from money changer to money changer going, wow, I've got 23.14

cents for this one. Oh, I've got, Bart, I mean, oh, I've got 24.17. Cool. All right. Well, for this one. Oh, I've got a bar. I mean, oh, I've got 24.17. Cool.

All right. Well, enjoy your holiday. The first year we came here, it was every day there'd be like a new pair of sunglasses that someone had found around the pool. There were like four posts of that per day. And this year it's the currency exchange. It's the big thing that's got people's juices flowing. I think Ed Cavill would actually enjoy it.

I should take pictures of that and send it back to him. Someone needs to bite the bullet and just make a master thread. Master currency exchange thread. We don't need four posts a day of just a different photo of a sign out the front of a booth. I like it. Bring it on. Long may it continue. So yeah, get onto Patreon.

You can get some bonus episodes. There'll be some bonus episodes coming out from over here. Not only bonus episodes, but bonus videos. We've got our own little videographer, Sammy, gone adrift on YouTube. We've talked about it very, very briefly. His handle name is goneadrift on on youtube go and sign up to him subscribe to him he is a guy that is a uh a new youtuber relatively new youtuber he's moved to tight land to go full time with it and i really enjoy his videos and that's why i've got him over

here and uh he's here trailing us around filming filming the live shows, filming us during the morning, day, and night. And we're going to have so much content thanks to him. So give him a follow, give him some like, give him some love, and sign up if you like the sound of heaps, not just bonus episodes, but heaps and heaps of video stuff and heaps of – we're working all day. Yeah. We've never worked so hard. Yeah.

On a tropical island of all places. Yeah. We've never worked so hard. Yeah. On a tropical island of all places. Yeah. So get on to it. So please, make it worth our while. That's it. Because if there's no bumping numbers from this, then it's like, what a fucking ordeal. Yes. Yes.

Yes. We've flown him over. We're putting him up. He's a funny guy. Yeah, he's cool. He's loving it. A very nice man. Sammy.

Thank you, Sammy. GoneAdrift. At GoneAdrift at gone adrift on on youtube get onto it um thank you very much to everyone who subscribes on patreon especially these people this week thank you very much to patreon subscriber andrew milosh oh my mate yes your mate my mate my newcastle mate yes Yes. Yeah. Yeah. A person you know. Yeah, I know him through mutual friends, and then he got into the world of comedy. He runs gigs in Newcastle, runs the Newcastle Comedy Festival, lives in Newcastle, if that wasn't obvious. But yeah, I didn't know he subscribed. Thank you, Miles.

Yeah. Well, there you go. We were... Contributing financially right now to my little fanny being on a sun lounge on the beach. Yes. The Newcastle of Thailand, Koh Samui. Is it? Do you think so? I don't know. What do you reckon? It's kind of region. It's sort of smaller, I guess. It's got a beach. What would be the Koh Samui of Australia? What capital city? Capital city? Well, say Bangkok. Let's say Bangkok is the Sydney of Australia

yeah okay well what's I mean I think Koh Samui would be like the what's a good holiday place yeah are you going

size or are you going you can't say Gold Coast because Phuket would be the Gold Coast Phuket's Gold Coast

yeah um Byron maybe maybe Byron yeah it's not too bad but I but also there's definitely hippier places in Thailand than Koh Samui Byron maybe Maybe Byron Yeah That's not too bad But also

There's definitely Hippier places in Thailand Than Koh Samui Maybe this is Brisbane Yeah Maybe this is Brisbane That's not too bad Yeah

Because I think Byron Might be Koh Pen Yang Cairns maybe Oh yeah Somewhere in Yeah somewhere maybe A bit like FNQ Not like

Not full bogan Yeah But definitely Yeah there's like There's hippier, vibier places in Thailand for sure. Yes. Like Koh Phangan, for example. Yes, absolutely. Would be more like Baan, I reckon.

Massively. Yeah. Absolutely, massively. Yes, there is a lot of weed shops. Have you enjoyed any libations? Not yet. Although, a lot of them have a setup where they've got like a room where they've got gaming consoles and you can just consume your product there and then hire out the telly and play a bit of PlayStation.

Which does sound, I was saying to my fiance, she's never really gotten into video games, but there's this Harry Potter game that I got to review on Filthy Casuals and she just got hooked on it, has played it for hours and hours and hours. into video games but there's this harry potter game that i got to review on filthy casuals and she just got hooked on it has played it for hours and hours and hours and i said to her i reckon you'd be able to log on on that playstation get your save from the cloud and pick up where you were at home have a joint and just run around hogwarts and she was like fuck i think i'm gonna do that that sounds fucking awesome fuck you converting your missus. I'd be as big a dork as you. Fucking hell.

But only on one game. Like there's been other things where I'm like, hey, this is kind of a similar sort of thing to that. Do you want to give this a try? And she's like, not interested. I just want to pretend that I'm Harry Potter. Yeah. I'm like, all right.

Fair enough. Yeah. There's another plane coming, Tommy. Another. Oh, wow. The whole White family are flying in. I think that's what's happening. Yeah. I was looking him up, actually. He's Australian. What?. Another. Oh, wow. The whole White family are flying in. I think that's what's happening. Yeah, I was looking him up, actually.

He's Australian. What? Peter White. Oh, the husband? The husband of Michelle Morihan. Yeah, he's an Australian artist. Oh, really? Yeah.

So, as soon as I saw that, I was like, well, fuck. Maybe we will be able to get a message through. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, I hope. I looked him up on Instagram, hoping i'd say you know you see the mutual followers yeah and then you're like oh of course that person would know him and i know them maybe i could send a message to them but he's got like no no mutuals i don't think he's i don't

know if he's super active on instagram or what but right yeah i hope he's doing all right because from the text thread i read between him and his wife i don't know things could be better you should send that to one of those gossip Instagram. If you had have snapped a photo of the phone, you could have sent it to Demois and we could have got a bit more coverage for the pod. Yeah, I got some hot tips. Where did you get this source from? I looked over a woman's shoulder on the plane that I didn't know the name of and then a

room full of people yelled at me what her real name was. And now I'm telling you. Where did you get this scoop from? A podcast I listen to. Yeah. Well, thanks, Mylos. Thanks, Mylos. Good on you. Newcastle Comedy, hey?

Yeah. So he runs comedy. If you're in Newcastle, go to his comedy. Yeah, he's got some shows coming up. I think he's putting on, Cam James is doing his show there soon as part of the Newcastle Festival. That's where we did our live pod in Newcastle the one time we went there five, six years ago. Big Dog Comedy, I think it is called or was called.

Great. Thanks, Andrew. Thanks, Milo. Thanks, Milo. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Dane Fitzgerald. Dane Fitzgerald. I've got to say, I forgot to bring my sunnies and I am fucking battling out here.

I was looking at you thinking the same thing. I'm behatted and bespeckled. Yeah, and I'm really starting to feel it. You've got an umbrella next to you. Oh, yeah. Crack that open. Yeah. I would absolutely do that.

Oh, yeah, okay. That's the hat of furniture. Open your... I might even do it for myself. It is... What is it? It's half past ten in the morning. It's probably about 30, feeling like 35 at the moment.

Absolutely beautiful conditions. We've had a little bit of rain already. Hey, guys, we're recording Talking Dumb Dumb right now, guys. We're on the clock. That's why we look like absolute assholes. Yeah, no problem. Yeah, don't interrupt us reading out names oh what's your name hey thank you to locky darlenberg yes

we've never been recognized doing talking dumb dumb before i don't think but if ever it's going to happen it's going to be today we you know the great thing is about this festival is Tommy that we when we see random people I always think

fuck are they our people what do we how do we act but the whole idea is we give out wristbands to the people that are watching our show

so we're just looking for this little white wristband yep and we know we're in safe hands or maybe the opposite I did before we did the registration, gave the wristbands out, just any white person I saw here, I was like, about to get recognised. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then it's like, oh, no, these are just some Germans on a holiday. Yes, yes. No, no, there was at the airport when we were flying in, I was like, anyone that was like, to look like a big fat dork, I'm like, where are you guys going? Trying to get a VB on a Bangkok air flight. i'm like where are you guys going trying to get a vb on a bangkok air flight you're like yeah i think i know what's going on here yeah yeah and then and then i found there was this big fat dork on airplane i was like hey mate and he's like had

no idea fuck and then i was like why isn't this guy into our podcast yeah yeah yeah we should i mean we've never really tried too hard to convert new listeners while we're here yeah does seem like a bit of a missed opportunity. Yeah. Like, I want to see if I can, it'd be great if we could get a little mini spot in the middle of Diva's Cabaret. There was, man, there was, there was, do you remember there was a year where I was talking shit to someone at the airport, and then they, I can't remember whether they came along to a show off the back of it. No, I think it was the other way around.

I think when we were leaving, I just talked to them about it. And they got home, and that's how they got into the show, and they listened for ages. Were they one of the rare people who was at the resort that wasn't part of our group? No, I'm pretty sure it was just... Because I think that happened as well. Oh, maybe that happened.

There was someone who was like, I was in the pool and heard the thing and thought, oh, this is cool, and then looked it up. We were about to be sold a blanket mid-talk dumb i'm another world oh no thank you no thank you no thank you this is this is the patreon of kosamui selling selling shawls on the beach i think i would have talked about this at the time but um when when we were here one year my parents had been to kosamui and mum had bought like one of them on the beach yeah and she was like can you get me another one of them i'm like where'd you get it what shop and she's like oh just a random guy on the beach i'm like i really don't know how i'm gonna go yeah i don't

know my luck and i think the idea of you getting up and going well i guess i'm going shopping today and then go sitting on the beach and waiting yeah i think i do i think i ended up posting a photo of it in the group and being like hey if anyone sees a guy selling this on the beach, can you grab one and I'll pay you for it? And I think I did end up getting one. Oh, great. I think a listener did end up being like, there we go. That's the one. When I took my parents here, they loved everything, but also they loved their version of it, which was not leaving the resort and just sitting here all day.

Yeah. of it, which was not leaving the resort and just sitting here all day. Because I'm not really massively a beach person. I'd rather sit in the pool or whatever. So they sat on the beach all day and just made relationships with all the vendors that came for us. That's great. I became best mates with the fucking ice cream guy. Yeah, the iguana guy.

Looking for a third and fourth. Yeah. Who's your little green friend um so they're getting ice creams every day and then coming back and telling me the history of this guy and it's like you're just telling me you're just telling me the history of this guy that i've said no i don't want a fucking paddle pop two yeah yeah three times a day for the last two weeks it is fascinating though it's like yeah what is these guys deal like the we were talking the other day about the um there's these guys that walk around with iguanas on their shoulder and try and charge you for a photo and it's like how many people are taking him up on that like what's this guy's day is this guy's this guy's life where he gets up he's

like gets the iguana out of the cage and just does laps of the beach all day yeah for like what kind of return financially yeah oh look and also that like i remember the ice cream guy getting the full story and it was like you know he comes here for high season and then goes somewhere else he's like you know he's like a little um traveling salesman okay right right well look if one of the iguana guys comes past us i'm gonna ask him what the fee is to get the iguana on the podcast how How much to hold the mic up. I don't want a photo. How much for audio? Would you know what an iguana sounds like?

I don't think they ever recognise what it sounds like. Well, yeah, but people will just know it's happening. There won't be, yeah, there won't be hard evidence. Not much in the way of, I think you'll find since COVID, not much in the way of street dogs around anymore. Remember there used to be lots of dogs around? Yeah, we went down to, have you ever been to Lip Smackers? Absolutely.

I went there last time. Yeah, we went down there the other night and there was a little dog with us the whole time. It was pretty cool. I really liked that place. Yeah, it's cool. The one on the beach you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny to go, we're at this bar called Lip Smackers and it's just like plastic furniture

on the sand. Yes. I don't know if I'd call this a bar, but yeah, it was, we went there like after dinner. We were down there at like nine o'clock. It was great. Oh, it's a great spot. My friends had like just gotten here. So we were like trying to find the most like vibey, Koh Samui-esque thing we could do straight

off the, straight off the plane. That's a great spot. Yeah. But Dane Fitzgerald, I would love to, I'd love to have a beer with you there at Lipsmackers right on the, what would you call it? Fitzy. Yeah. Dana.

Fitzy. You're around, Dana. I'd love to have some petrol masquerading as liquor with you on the beach. Yeah, the girls were getting cocktails and I was like, I don't know if this is the venue for a cocktail, but knock yourselves out. Well, that's what they will do with that stuff. But I love it. I still do it.

I know that it can't be right. I don't know what it is. I'm sure someone's got an answer to this. It's got to be this cheap Thai homemade liquor sort of thing. Because how do you sell cocktails for 99 baht, which is like $4? How do you sell that for $4 unless you've got some sort of rice-based liquor that you're fucking cooking up in a bathtub or something? Yeah, I wonder.

I wonder what the actual thing is. Yeah. I'm sure we could find out. I'm not sure what it is, but Dana, we'll have one for you. You could do a Stanley Tucci-style searching for Thailand, where that's a hole-ep. You go and you meet the guy who makes the local brew. Yeah. Whole ep on the Paddle Pop Man.

Yeah. Whole ep on the homemade liquor. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be some... Because that's what Tucci does on his show. He goes to, like, you know, Naples or wherever and meets the guy that grows the tomatoes that are, like, the base of the pasta sauce. Is that what he does?

Yeah, your version of that here is you're going granular. You're going and you're finding the deep in the woods guys that are doing all the stuff that services the industry. Yeah. I was telling you before, I had someone was trying to get me into their restaurant and they were saying 300 baht for, which is $12, for a snapper, barbecued snapper

beautiful and then i get it and it's like you just pulled this fish out of the fucking river you just yeah you just you were taking a piss in the river and you grabbed a fish on your way home yeah you go follow him you do an ep where you go to the factory where they make the fake beats yes yeah i would love that um i love. I've already had this several times where you go to try and buy something and they start getting into like, oh, no, that one's fake. Get this one instead. Is this real? No, this is fake too, but it's less fake.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, I can't keep up. Still fake, but made a bit better. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm really hoping we filmed, we've been filming the live shows, which is another bonus that's coming up on Patreon. We're filming the live shows here.

Three cameras, and we had memory cards that were bought in the dodgiest shopping centre in Bangkok. So, we're really, we put a lot of trust into someone who was like, don't buy this one, buy this one. It's like, but they're all fake, aren't they? Yeah. No, but these are really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. All right. Fair enough. Okay. Thanks, Dano. Thanks, Dano. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber, oh, what a name, Bobby Manning. Bobby Manning.

Bobby Manning. Bobby Manning sounds like a real, like, yeah, 80s pop star that O'Neill would bring up in conversation. And then he could open his own bar because you'd go to Bobby Manning's, I reckon. He's real like you see him written in that like fluoro paint on the upcoming gig sign out the front of like the Fountain Gate Hotel or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Bobby Manning's.

I'd go there for fish and chips or something. Like some sort of like fish and chips and beers. But come to Bobby Manning's. Sounds good to me. I could, if we ever get this Koh Samui bar off the ground. Call it Bobby Manning's. Bobby Manning's. Because there's more money in the expats than there is the locals.

That's true. That's true. Get one down instead of calling it Kangaroo Vodka Bar to try and get Russians and Australians in. Just Bobby Mannings. I love when we drove back yesterday from Pig Island. When you come from that direction, you go through that bit before the main drag of Chowing Beach has started,

and then there's a big billboard advertising Bondi's Australian Bar and Grill. And it's so funny to have a billboard advertising that because it's like, if you want to go to that place, you'll find it. You know what I mean? The idea of driving in and being like, oh, hell yeah, let's go look that place up. It's very prominent.

And if you're an Australian that wants to drink in an Australian bar, you know it's there. You don't need it advertised to you. I don't know. I think all that sort of stuff I already think that but I'm in the echo chamber of you know

already our listeners have shown us that they're like going to Aussie bars and stuff like that I'm like I hate it but I can't stop it

they will not listen to me no thanks no thanks you're 10 minutes late Tommy needed both of them 10 minutes ago yeah yeah

okay we'll see you later come them ten minutes ago. Okay. We'll see you later. Come back ten minutes ago. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. He just impersonated himself holding a microphone. He just did a bit of, this is you.

I think he wants to be on the show. Yeah, yeah. We should get him on. Yeah. Well, he didn't have any paddle pops. If he did, I haven't had no ice cream yet. I do enjoy I mean look

Everything's cheap here Obviously There are some things That can't be cheaper here But Treat yourself to a bloody You know what Treat yourself to a premium

Ice cream here Tommy It is an absolute treat To get like a Magnum Or something That's Six Virgin on seven dollars At home

Yep Going for about two dollars here Yeah great It's fucking beautiful. My friends got stuck into some Cornettos last night. Yes. Are they Cornettos? Or are they just a different?

Cornettos. Yeah. They looked pretty good. Dodgy Cornettos, not made from real ice cream. Oh, okay. Right, right, right. Fake, but like. From off yogurt.

Yeah, but a good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They also had, what did they, what did my friend have? I can't remember now. Oh, no. Oval Teen ice cream. Oh, yeah. Which looked good Ice Cream. Oh, yeah. Which looked good.

It was apparently really good. Because, yeah, you get the drumsticks and the Cornettos and the brand names and whatever, but then you get the Thai ice creams that are just as nice, and then they're really cheap. Yeah. Oh, yeah. 50 cent ice cream. Go local.

Yes. Fuck yeah. There's a black and white Panda one that I love. That's good. I mean, that is funny. Getting a Cornetto is the equivalent of just coming here and only drinking vb yes like just going in and being like have you got a memphis meltdown yeah exactly no go with the lek panda guys 10 baht yeah yeah is the lek panda the uh local equivalent of the paddle pop line yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah uh don't import so there's

more people looking at us because we're using microphones. It is ridiculous. We look like fucking morons anyway. Well, either that or they're looking at us going, you know what they're doing? Honestly, I think this is the least embarrassing thing we've done so far since we've been here. You know what's happening? They're looking at us like the way I looked at the lady on the plane going, fuck, you must be famous, but I don't know who you are. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Someone's getting in their group chat now sending a photo of my thigh and being like, does anyone know who this is? We're the Michelle Monaghan's of podcasting. It was pretty funny after the show last night. Me and my fiancé just in bed, just both on Michelle Monaghan's Instagram, just going through all her posts. Right.

Well, thanks to... Who was it again? Bobby Manning. Bobby it again? Bobby Manning Bobby Manning Bobby Mannings Of course Where were we going for lunch today? Bobby Mannings Bobby Mannings

Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Nico Baier Nico Baier Is it Baier? Baier B-A-I-E-R I'm not completely confident B-A-I-E-R

Baier Baier Baier Maybe Baier Baier Nico Baier Nico Baier Nico Baier That's pretty good I-E-R. I'm not completely confident. B-A-R. Bear? Bear. Bear. Bear. Maybe bear. Bear? Yeah. Nico Bear.

Nico Bear. Nico Bear. That's pretty good. That could be, I mean, that could be a local mascot. That's a nice name. Yeah. I want to get the Nico Bear. I do love, like, your two favourite restaurants, Green Bird and Mr Crab, having-

Two of. Two of, yeah. Having very cool little mascot, being named after little creatures, having cool little cartoon mascots on the front of the menu and the sign, and then they're also next to each other. Yes. I really wish that that whole arcade

was just like, you know, Mr. Crab, Green Bird, Fancy Frog. Yeah. You know, if they just had a whole cavalcade. Yeah. The Koh Samui restaurant mascot Avengers. Yes.

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, like what we were talking about before. But there's just those two in that bit. And then I haven't seen any other, like, I want more, like, vibey little mascot guys on my restaurants. And there's, like, I haven't seen any others anywhere here. Yeah, like the Riverfish place that I was talking about before is right next to it. But you were saying before, it's a tough, like, I sent you the name of it going, hey, come anywhere here. Yeah. Like the river fish place that I was talking about before is right next to it. But you were saying before, it's a tough, like I sent you the name of it going, hey, come over here.

And it's like, yes, come over to Crumpin Harbour and whatever. Like, oh no. Yeah. So Mr. Crab, he's like a little crab and he's wearing the chef hat. So he's like, he's in there. Yep. His people are on the menu. Yes.

You can eat him. Yes. But he's also, he's like a kind of army hammer figure where he's in the kitchen. Yeah, yeah. Just cooking up his own species. Yep. And then Greenbird is just like- Handing up his own.

Greenbird's just a customer. He's there. He's holding the knife and fork. And he just looks fucking twisted, man. He's like so fucking high. Yeah, he does look like that, doesn't he? He's so fucking ready to eat. Yeah, yeah.

So they could, I mean, they could come together. One's a chef, one's a punter. There's no conflict of interest there. Yeah. So there could be, that restaurant that you went to, you should suggest that they rebrand as, you know, maybe a waiter. Maybe a little, like a little frog that's a waiter. I reckon a little fish.

Little fish. Yeah, a little waiter fish. A little dishy. Yeah. A little dish pig pig. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Great last night, we were sitting there watching a few late night tattoos go by.

Oh, yeah. Watching a few people come in at 10 o'clock with the absolute right mindset and go, why not? Oh, what do you think of this? Did you see that guy next to where you were eating, the painter? Yes. The guy doing those like huge paintings and he's just doing them from a photo. Yes. I was like, fuck.

They love a bit of Mr. Bean. I was like, what if we went in? If we tried to get a good photo that someone got last night from the show, if we went in there and we said, do you think you could knock up a painting of this in a couple days? And then we give the painting to the stay and say, can you hang this in the restaurant? There is no way.

There is no way. There is no way. I just love the idea of like you walk past this guy in the middle of the night and he's just there flat out working on a painting of people doing a podcast. Let's go past today and asking how much for a smaller painting. Of this photo we got of just us doing this right now. We've got to do it. we've got to do it we've we have got to do it it would be such a pain in the ass to get it home but fuck that's good let's not we can't get one of those massive ones no no but even a bit but any painting is going to be annoying to transport

yeah but okay if we can if we can get him to knock something up in three days well we'll go and see what the charges are because you kind of think, oh, yeah, these guys work for three cents. And then you go, yeah, no, $500. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lot of my work. The one he was working on last night was like, his painting looked like a photo. I did?

It's fucking great. All right. Yeah. You know, I did look into this once because there was, weirdly, there's one of these painters that had a webcam in his studio in Copenhagen. I used to watch it all the time. And I sent through a message going, oh, how much if I got a picture of Nick Capa done by you?

And it came back. It was like fucking heaps. But I also suspect it didn't go to the actual painter. I think it went to the middleman. Oh, sure, sure. I think it was a bit of like – Well, this guy looks all pretty – like it was just him there out the front doing the paintings.

He had like – his kids were in the back. Like it all looks pretty, you know, like a pretty small scale operation. So, oh man, if we could get a painting of us recording this. Yeah. I don't know what we'll do with it. Yeah. But it's pretty good to have. Yeah, yeah.

We'll go and ask. We'll ask. It's right near where we're staying. Yeah. Yeah, great. So, I think, well, is that talking about Nico Bear? Probably not. Yeah.

No, it is a bit. The mascot. That's right. We pivoted off into, none of that would have happened without talking about Nico Bear? Probably not. Yeah. It is a bit. The mascot. That's right. We pivoted off into none of that would have happened without talking about Nico Bear. Yes. The Nico Bear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right.

Well, thanks, Nico. Thanks, Nico. Yeah, well, one more. One more and then we can depart this. We're going to go play soccer golf. Yeah. That's the plan. We should actually give everyone a bit of notice but

yeah um we are planning on going and we went to pig island we got heaps of videos yesterday we went we get we're going to soccer golf today with a bunch of the crew we're going to get videos and stuff there so that'll be fun hopefully we'll have something to talk about on next week's episode as well um i'm going to buy a top for the occasion. I want to get one of the Japanese soccer tops that are in that same alleyway. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I was thinking, not confirmed, but I was thinking about playing soccer, a proper game, and I was like, oh, what if we do comedians versus punters?

And we just look massively prepared and buy a whole kit, the same shirt for all the comics, so that we can look way better than how we're actually going to play. No, that's tough. Yes. Yeah. All right. So just one more. Yes.

One more name. Yes. Yeah, it's just really hard to read. Because the glare, the sun has come out a little bit. That's exactly right. Don't have that cloud cover anymore. Yeah, exactly right. Oh, right. Okay. Great. cloud cover anymore. Yeah, exactly right.

Oh, right. Okay. Great. I'm going to just close my eyes for a second. Okay. Now I can read it. This will be good. Yep.

Thank you very much to Patience and Subscriber. Oh, cool. This is good. Again, this sounds like another place I would go to for a beer and a quick little curry and maybe a little cheeky little margarita pizza for like $5 or something. Just something for the expats to come in. I thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Bobby Comedies. Bobby Comedies. Okay. That's better than I was expecting. I thought it was just going to be like umbrella comedy or something. Sunglasses comedy.

Well, it's still not far off. What can I say right now? The inside of my sunglasses. Beach... Tommy Daslow comedy. All right, guys. Well, thanks for supporting the show. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub.

If you would like to sign up, support us and get all of our extra content that is coming up from this trip. Let us know if you're at the festival and you have actually got up and listened to this part of the show. And listened to something that you saw two nights ago. And also, most importantly, for you guys or for people at home, we have new merch. We have From Before hats, From Before shirts, which is, of course, the uniform here at all the workers here that are here on our little industry trip. And we have stubby holders, which may...

No, we will have some at home when we get home. We've sold a heap, heap of them. Yeah. But I did actually keep some of them at home. Okay, great. Yes. Thanks, everyone. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for all that stuff.

And we'll see you next time. See you, mate.