The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 717 - Peter Helliar & Danny McGinlay

Episode Date: July 3, 2024

We're back in the studio and we're joined by PETER HELLIAR and DANNY MCGINLAY! We fill Pete in on his contribution to the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival, Danny's torn himself away from an illicit venue for long enough to murder some wildlife, Tommy's had his caricature done, and there's a wild new scam sweeping the Thai restaurants of Melbourne. Fun! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dum Dum Club, a brand new episode with guests Peter Hellyer and Danny McGinley. If you want to come and see us live and you live in Sydney, well, goddammit, you are in luck. Saturday, July the 20th, tickets are moving. Not too long to go now, so get on it. littledumdumclub.com for tickets. And if you liked all the live episodes from Koh Samui, we've got heaps of video content and it is coming out really well. Heaps of great stuff,

but a lot of it is only on patreon.com slash little dum-dum club. Subscribe to that. Stick your toe in the Patreon water. There's heaps of great, different content that you wouldn't have got normally. It's heaps of fun.

We put a lot of effort into it, so try it out. Yeah, get on there. You can find all those links at little dum-dum club.com. We'll talk to you more at the end of the episode in Talking Dumb Dumb. But until then, enjoy this new episode with Peter Hellyer and Danny McGinley.

Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow. With me, as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, Dickhead. And joining us today, two very special guests. Please welcome back into the show, Danny McGinley and Peter Hilliard.

It's been announced Danny McGinley's got a hard out in an hour's time. He's the big name on the show. So, I mean, whatever we need to do to get this guy out of the building. By the time this comes out, you'll already be able to listen to the great episode of my Western Bulldogs podcast, Danny Boyd, with Jason Johannesson. Delete this podcast right now and listen to mine.

The episode where you come in 15 minutes late. Interesting. Also, listen, we've got a hell of a year. You can have your hard out now if you want. I have as much time as you want, guys. I'm here. Great. I'm here for a Peter Jackson director's cut.

Let's do next week's episode with you after this. I'm glad to be here. And sorry, Tommy, if I spooked you earlier in the week. Yeah, I spooked you back. Some misdirected text messages. So I was on the way to do my you ain't seen nothing yet podcast great podcast thank you danny which is scheduled on a different day to this so you wouldn't have to like fuck us over by leaving yes yes you said you had an

extremely soft out at the start as well just to make sure we were under no pressure it might be getting firmer now um but and i and i was kind of texting, you know, at traffic lights. You shouldn't do it. I know. But I was texting my Yasni producer, Indy, and we had Jane Kennedy coming in to do Lord of the Rings. That's a lot of homework. I had Titanic.

That was hard enough. She's beaten you. She's gone to the top. She's the MVP. And she watched All three movies In the end Without me asking She watched

11 hours and 26 minutes Directed Just to confirm She doesn't have a job At the moment So let's not give her Too much credit If you're going on

Pete's show The smart move Is to pick Steamboat Willie Something you can Knock over in three minutes Well Pang famously Chose the castle

Because it was 86 minute running time Which Embarrassing himself That he hasn't seen One of the most iconic Australian comedies With the people He works with Well, Pang famously chose the castle because it was 86 minute running time. Oh. Which, embarrassing himself that he hasn't seen one of the most iconic Australian comedies of all time with the people he works with. Yes. Yeah, I was going to say, not that bad that he's picked the movie that the only mob in the world that pays him at the moment.

It's like, of course he's giving them a free plug. And I'd still believe his review began with, felt long. Yeah, yeah, felt long. Had to have an interval in the middle. with felt long. Yeah, yeah, felt long. Had to have an interval in the middle. So I'm texting Indy kind of saying,

hey, I'm running a bit late, like literally a couple of minutes. Can you just, Jane Kennedy will be arriving soon. Just make sure she's okay and take care of her. And Tommy responds, but I think it's Indy saying, Pete, I've got some bad news for you. And I'm flicking through my emails kind of going, it's definitely today.

I've got a day right because I know Jane's coming in today. Fuck, this is going to be a big fuck up. And then I don't hear anything. So then I'm thinking I'm texting Indy with about 10 question marks going like, come on, what's the fucking bad news? And then the penny drops. So I'm actually texting Tommy Dasolo. Because you're saying, is it Tuesday? I'm texting you to confirm this and you write back,

hey, just running a bit late, can you stall Jane Kennedy for me? And I write back. And you're like, we don't book women on this show. What are you talking about? And I write back, Pete, is Jane Kennedy about to turn up at my house? And then I get the ten question marks from you and I go, Pete, it's me, it's Tommy Dasolo. You need to do a concussion test.

You can stall her for nine hours by putting on Lord of the Rings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it was a fun little interaction for me because I was like oh i'm the puppet master here i can really i can really wreak havoc on pete's mind it was really it was quite stressful because i should have fucked with you more she's stormed out she's furious at the lack of professionalism she says she's never watching lord of the flies part one two or three

but that would have been cool like jane kennedy just turning up at my house i could have quickly Part one, two or three. But that would have been cool. Jane Kennedy just turning up at my house. I could have quickly called up Carl. Quick, we've got... This has never happened before. Someone's turned up to be on the podcast who we haven't booked. Yeah, yeah. Someone who wants to be on the show that we don't have to force to be on it.

Emergency recording. Get over here. We don't have to fucking make our podcast shorter so someone can go off And do his fucking AFL podcast Awesome Great You do get to a level

In Australian showbiz Where you can rock out The people's house And go I want to do Your podcast now Organise it now Pop up spot on a podcast I like it

Yeah that would be great Yeah but you were You were texting out the lights Yeah well that's Let's not focus on that Yeah yeah I pulled over And turned off the engine

Red light Yeah yeah red light So I wasn't clear on that. I pulled over and turned off the engine. Red light. Yeah, yeah, red light. So I wasn't clear on that, was I? Got out, sat on the bonnet. Yeah, that's fine. That's why I was getting messages from you that said, hang on, just trying to find a car park that I can pull over into. But that said sent with Siri, and then the next one was sent.

Sent by a homeless guy that's washing the window. Okay, that's fine. You dictated it to him. That's fine. Well, this is our first episode uh back in the room as daryl summers once famously said yes we're back in the room uh have you by the way have you seen the photo of him at uh john blackman's funeral with dickie knee no he brought dickie knee got the invite he brought dickie knee along to the funeral

unreal how much have you spoken about Hey Hey It's Saturday for the overseas listeners? Many times. Yeah, once a month maybe. Okay, play on. It is nice that kids get at least the option to come to the funeral. Dickie was given the option and obviously decided he was emotionally prepared enough to go along.

I thought it would be rude to wear the cap at a funeral, but whatever. Take that. A bit of respect. Sitting up the front with it and you're at the back being like, is Dickie going to pipe up from the service? Dickie must be crying a lot. We haven't seen his face.

He won't turn around. But, yeah, we're back from Koh Samui. Yes. First episode in studio after the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. Yes. And Pete, on behalf of Carl and I,

we need to say a big thank you for the part that you played in the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. From before. That's it. That's it.

Was it an award or something? No, it was the company that we pretended to be from. So, when I organized the resort, I was like, English is not their first, second or third language.

And so I was like, right, I couldn't really get across that there was a podcast. I was like, okay, it's just a company. We need to get a Russian to work for us if we ever do this again. It's a company retreat. And so they're like, okay, they could get their head around that because we're going to be doing presentations. And then it's like, what's the name of the company? I'm like, From Before.

So then we're the From Before recycling company. We're a recycling company. Oh, nice. So then we got a huge banner put at the front of the resort because we booked out the entire resort. So as you walked into this resort, there's this massive like 10-foot banner saying, welcome to Koh Samui, From Before Industries.

It's a new Vandelay. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. And on top of that... Founded by Art From Before. On top of that, we made merch. So I'd like to present you... Oh, wow.

...with some From Before Industries with a baseball cap there. Could you ever, ever imagine 11 years ago at the Adelaide Fringe doing your show for the first time and that callback just not quite landing that you'd be here now with a hat that doesn't really fit on your head? I should have gone straight away because I've got a big noggin. No, but that's Thai style. I haven't unhooked it. There we go.

That actually looks great. That's great. That really suits you. I was actually thinking becauseooked it. There we go. That actually looks great. That's great. That really suits you. I was actually thinking because, you know, we always plan ahead with comedy festivals, and I was thinking I'm going to be busy for most of next year's comedy festival. I'm kind of doing something that's going to take me away for a little while. You're going to Koh Samui to hire more people from before.

I'm euthanising. But I was thinking I might do to be I love being involved in the festival even if I can't do the full run or even half run

but to do like a best of and maybe it is from before yes yes that was our yeah that is

it is the best name for a greatest hit show from before it does work from before but you know what I'm out decked in our merch.

I'm officially allowing you to steal back that phrase that we stole from you. I appreciate that. I was hoping there'd be no cost involved. It's a lease. It's a lease. We've talked a little bit about how during the comedy festival, we talked about it on an episode with you just before the comedy festival

and we were talking about it at the live shows and Tom Ballard is a particular fan of it and was sending us voice memos of someone yelling it out at him, him saying it in his show in a text thread with us and you and we would always write back and be like, this is so funny, how good, and you were noticeably absent in that text thread. I can't remember i can't

remember getting any i'm so glad you put the hat on because i feel like i i thought maybe you were going to lawyer up once you saw that i felt like you haven't made any mention to it you haven't given any permission because i put the hat on doesn't mean i can't lawyer up i can't remember getting those messages it really did ring to me of like you know we're having a lot of fun with it because it's like, you know, I just observed it and it's like funny to us. But for you, it's like, yeah, cool, a memory of a joke that didn't land 11 years ago. Thanks, guys.

Also, I know why you don't remember the messages because you were driving at the time. You don't check your phone. I was driving and the window washer was not available. Yes. And, of course, you famously delete any message that comes in while you were driving. Just to make sure. There's no evidence.

I'm extremely strict. I think we all should be because it's road safety, people. Yeah. So that was great. Anyway, so you're a part of history. Thank you for being cool with it, Pete. No, I'm not. Not that we gave you much option, but...

No, yeah, there's that. But I... No, I mean, I'm pretty sure I would have even said it even outside of that. Like, I think it's, you know, when... It sounds very familiar and it sounds very me to kind of almost say to the crowd, no, you didn't get it.

You've been good tonight. Fuck you, you should go. There's my special that I filmed at the end of last year. I do a little bit of it in that. And at the time, it was just a little thing just to amuse me. And to be honest, Tom Ballard, who's a big fan of it. And then now in between filming it and me putting it out, we've talked about it so much that now it looks like the most like pandering reference to the podcast wedged in there it just looks like

the most desperate reference to like ah from the it's an it's a double from before yeah well now we've got we've got hats we've got shirts they're all on sale at our live show on july 20 in sydney and if i was selling better we'd absolutely offer you a cut. Well, wait till my live show, my From Before Farnsey tour. From Before Before. From Before Before. And the next year it'll be after From Before. Yeah, that's good.

Yeah. No, I love it. You look so good in that hat. This is a dream come true. Yes, it is. Well, thank you. I appreciate it. They look so good in that hat. Yeah. This is a dream come true. Yes, it is. Well, thank you. I appreciate it. They're good hats.

Who did the design? It was a combo. Yeah, I drew the little face on the little fella. Of course you did. It was a Chandler-Dasslo combo, actually. And he's a little arrow pointing back. Yeah. In reference to your famous, another part of it that we can't really,

we've never really been able to fully convey through the audio medium of the podcast, but it's you saying from before. Pointing. Kind of pointing. Pointing into the past. Into the abyss of the past. Because the future is unwritten. Who knows which way the future is?

So he's pointing that way and he's got a little winking face on the arrow. You guys get it. You guys remember it, eh? You guys remember. And how much are these hats? That's 20 bucks. Wow. What do you mean?

Is that cheap or expensive? What? Yes, cheap. No, come on, that's a good price for a hat. That's cheap. What are you talking about? Look at this. How much do you think hats should be?

That one specifically? Yes. Well, it's been sat on Peter Hellyer's head, so that's... Oh, yeah, this one. When have you ever bought a hat before if you think $20 is expensive? What are you fucking talking about? I'm implying your hat is shit. Oh, no, it's not. Have you done this pod before?

That's how people work. No, I don't like this. Not when it's back at me. No, beautiful craftsmanship from the people in Koh Samui. Yes, and it should be appreciated how hard I had to work to smuggle them back from there. Considering I bought no luggage on my jet star flight and I put all the hats and all the shirts in various people

that were coming back from Thailand to Australia. In various people? Well, in their luggage. In their boogie ball bags. How hard it is to convince people when I say, can you smuggle this back from Thailand to Australia? First thing they ask you at the airport, did you pack your bag? Has anyone else had access to any of your luggage?

Are you transporting things for other people? How many hats were you wearing on the flight? No, definitely did ask people if they could wear six hats on the way back. Fantastic. How many hats were you wearing on the flight? Oh, no, definitely did ask people if they could wear six hats on the way back. Fantastic. How many hats did you get made? How many units? A hundred.

A hundred. A hundred hats. A hundred hats. So it's a little bit of an addition. Yes, exactly. Twenty bucks sounds cheap to me, personally. Exactly. Thank you.

Finally, yes. Finally, yes. So now we've got to do like a scavenger hunt around the city getting these various bits of hats from about 18 different locations. They've been floating in. They've been floating in. You bury them and then you begin the from before archaeological company.

Oh, that's not bad. They'll end up like all those copies of E.T. on the Atari. Yes. Yeah, out in the desert. You know what it is? It's funny to say like smuggling them back in the country because I did get a lot of them uh in malar friend of the show malan's luggage and then when i unpacked them there was just like this massive fucking wedge of tabs of valium and i was like hang on i was

joking about smuggling back in in your luggage but then he smuggled drugs back in within the stuff i was trying to smuggle back so i was I was like, okay, in case you get caught, all of a sudden from before industries are up for fucking drug smuggling. Suddenly Pete texting whilst driving is not the biggest crime on this part. I know what won't draw attention to the customs officers. 45 of the same hat showing up on the x-ray. Nothing to see here, boys. Business as usual.

You know you have to declare if you're bringing back more than $100,000 in cash or more than 20 of the one type of hat. No, but totally you have to sign off whether you're bringing in merchandise or gifts. So it's like, oh no, I went to Costa Mourinho and bought 40 hats that say the same thing as a gift from my mum. When you post stuff, like when you post our shirts and stuff and they go into the ones that you do international, you know, there's that form where you have to put like – It's the same deal. Yeah, yeah.

Just looking at that, I'm like, how thoroughly is this being examined by anyone? I always just put gift. I'm like, this is – I'm just sending my close personal friend a T-shirt that I designed. With my face on it. It's like when you go for a massage and you've got to sit in the dressing gown, trying not to have your bits all hanging out, and you've got to sign how tension you want and what do you want worked on. Oh, yeah.

They never fucking look at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a nice massage place you're going to. I've never had that happen. Oh, you've got to go to nice places. Otherwise, you've got to go to nice places. You end up at nice places. Yeah, what's this waiver you've got to sign?

Yeah. Is this happening on a go-karting track? What's going on? You go, they give you a little cup of tea and you sit in your dressing gown, which is always uncomfortable, and then you've got to write your blood pressure. Oh, really? Yes. What?

You write your... How do you know your blood pressure? No, well, you got to write what you want. Have you got any pre-existing... Pre-existing conditions. Are you pregnant? Are you blah, blah, blah. Same with when you sign up to a gym and any of that kind of stuff.

But it's funny when you have to do that in somewhere like Thailand. Like, they'll give you a form to sign for getting on the jet ski. Yes. when you have to do that in somewhere like Thailand, like they'll give you a form to sign for getting on the jet ski. And you're like, I mean, is this coming out in court? If I come off the jet ski and like break my arm on a rock and I take these people to court, like how binding is this piece of paper that's like water damaged and like running on it? But no, but like, you know, you talk about massage

and all of a sudden people sort of arc up and go oh is this dodgy or something it's like when we're in samui i got papped coming out of a massage place by one of the listeners and he's like oh look at this i got a picture of you i'm like yeah i got a massage like it's not it's not automatically going to be dodgy i think yeah and i'm like and especially i was like he's like yeah i got you and i'm arguing with him i'm like well actually if you must, I got massaged by a bloke. So look, I'm feeling extra bad about you fucking trying to guilt me into it because I was like the whole time I got tensed up by extra because there was this bloke fucking touching me for an hour.

I'm like, and then you try and argue that. It was like, it's nothing dodgy. It was a bloke. I'm like, oh, so when you get touched by a woman, it is dodgy? You're like, no. I'm just saying, even if I wanted something dodgy out of it i did i couldn't have got it well brother you seem tense you should pay someone money to jack you off i want one of these forms you need to unwind i want a podcast this made me extra stressed when he papped me coming out of a

massage can you give me a special massage to deal with that? A good way to allay accusations of you being a sex pest is to get really defensive and aggressive about it. I might. Yeah, it worked for me. And pack 50 hats of the same type and put drugs inside them. So you're signing the form. There's the happy ending. The signing the form is the boring beginning.

Yeah. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I know there is something that's happened in the last few years that when you say, if you're passionate about getting the occasional massage, if you say that to somebody, it sounds like you have to go on and explain further. The massage on the whole has become so tainted. Even just getting one down the street in like Fitzroy is like,

I feel like you say to people, I went to get a massage. That's like most people that's their heads are going I say you go to Glory Hole and they're like all of a sudden

they think like it's dodgy exactly I just want to meet new people stop hiding behind the wall then go to Wellington

I thought it was a pool I wanted to swim I'll summer do some aerobics the answer is there needs to be more hand jobs in other services yes at the dentist servos

drive throughs drive through hand jobs why is the masseuse I get that they're hands on it's like a natural progression I guess I always think That it's sort of a weird

It's like The term happy ending It's like Well you've just been Massaged for now So you're really relaxed They've done enough All of a sudden

Now it's like Now you've got to tense up It's like No I was relaxed before But now I'm like Extremely tense Chiropractors should do it more More so than masseuses

Yeah There's a bit of tension Yeah You're cracking Cracking Yeah The physio Look the bad news is

Your back's fucked But hey Do you want me to Do you want me to soften the blow A little bit so to speak You're a tax agent Alright you've been Yes

You owe the government 30 grand But what about this at the end That's going to make it Feel a little bit better Good point Yeah you're right The massage

It's a positive experience Yeah I don't need that at the end Yes I want every You've got cancer You've got five months to live That's going to make it feel a little bit better. Good point. Yeah, you're right. The massage, it's a positive experience. I don't need that at the end of it. I want every, you've got cancer, you've got five months to live. Better pack in as many of these as you can starting right now. Yeah, yeah. Yep. Well, speaking of things that I've seen in that sort of way,

what I love is a lot of times when I talk to you, Danny McGinley, there's a thing whenever I talk to you or Brett Blake, you both frequent the same establishment every now and then. Establishment also comes with it. Yeah, yeah. Establishment. Nothing legitimate is happening in an establishment. Yes, exactly.

I go to the dentist. There is a bar on Pond Road that is sometimes, let's say the dress code is quite relaxed for some of the ladies that walk there. I mean, look, definitely you have to wear pants and dresses, but, you know, above that you can sort of wear whatever you want, maybe nothing, whatever you want. Business down below, party up top. Yes.

It's winter below, summer up top. Hang on. Is it the dentist is going to? I go to the topless dentist. Really good. Really good. Can't recommend it. It's not just teeth that are being removed.

It's articles of clothing. Whatever. But what I like about it, let's say it's a topless spot. Let's say that's what it's called by some people. Hypothetically. Yeah. So Danny McGinley goes there. Brett Blake goes thereake we went once and they all knew me from the toyota brett blake goes in every time i hear from either of you you'll say i went there and they all went oh where's

brett blake intimating that he's there all the time whenever brett blake goes there they go where's danny mcginley intimating that he goes there all the time it's absolutely correct it's absolutely correct and every's absolutely correct. And every time Carl goes there, they're all like, where are Danny McGinley and Brett Blake? I just love that both Danny and Brett are both trying to dob each other in every time. It's like, boys, you're telling the same story to me over and over. Yeah. You're both feminist guys.

You don't have to fight over who's the bigger champion of women. Who's the biggest supporter of the arts? Whatever. You both love burlesque with no music. That's fine. This is the bar that's like the closest bar to the MCG. Yes.

Right? Yeah. It's the bar that Danny McGinley says he just goes there after he works for Channel 10. For the articles. Yeah.

Let's go there for the articles. He goes there as a knock-off drink after he works at Channel 10 which is nowhere near the bar. It's in the opposite direction. There are many, many bars between Channel 10

and that one. Alright. Do you guys want a story that's actually true? No! Yes! Then he's got a hard out, okay? He's got a hard out.

Yeah, I know. He's been getting a lot of hard outs. He's got a hard out. And a happy ending. I did the Comedy Festival Roadshow last week. Okay.

Driving between Horsham and Hamilton. Clay. Yeah, great gigs. First of all, we went... It's only an hour between the two towns. Yes. And we asked a few people in Horsham, like, we need the Grampians.

There's somewhere we can stop because our motel won't be ready and they're all going you need to go to it's got a weird name Barocca Lookout Barocca Lookout Barocca Lookout's been sponsored yeah

it's spelt differently but yeah but Barocca Lookout you've got to go to the best view in Australia so we drive an hour well it's probably

half an hour out of our way to see the best view in Australia that's just going to blow our minds. That was it. That's a picture of Danny McGinley. Yeah, that's the view.

That's the view. Just fog. Could not see more than a metre. That's the view that the women at the topless bar get on Tuesday to Sunday night every week. Big smiles. Big smiles. So then we're driving to Hamilton and we cruise along,

chatting with a friend of the show, Bron Lewis, about stuff. A fucking emu suicides into our car. Like it is standing. There is no cars around us for like, you know, we hadn't seen a car for 20 minutes. And we're driving along and Emu seriously just eyeballs us and goes, yep, time to fucking Westgate this. And bang, just seriously walked out.

You saw it working on the note as you got closer. Yeah, it was listening to Dean Lewis songs or something. What does that mean? He's a very depressing post-op. Right, right. Sorry, it's music from this century. Sorry, Carl. Sorry.

Dean Lewis is too current. Yeah. Can't wait to see the girls down Punt Road dancing to Dean Lewis. Okay. And we just clean up this emu and it is not dead. Oh, no. You had to do the like. Hang on, who had to do it?

Me. No. Oh, can you imagine had to do the like, hang on, who had to do it? Me. No. Oh, can you imagine the type of comedians that go on roadshow and the two employees of an arts festival? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How much they were all willing to stand up and be all, you know. So I had to grab a rock. The rest of them will hide behind the other car.

Oh, no. I was going to say, you've got good experience grabbing something with a very long neck with a big head on the end of it down at a bar on Punt Rose. Talking about Dickie Knee again? Was the emu topless?

I'd like to fucking kill this emu with a rock. Jesus Christ. God damn. Yeah. And then we play- You killed part of our national emblem. Yes. You killed part of a coin. Yes.

You euthanized it. I have to say, if you had have made us guess, even only knowing that it was you and Bron in the car, if you made us guess who did it, I reckon I would have picked Bron on the movie. I would have picked Bron on i would have picked bron as the one to come out and fucking take care of it i can't believe you've told us a story about killing a national symbol and an animal to get away that was

my character's been assassinated this will bring him back on board. Oh, what? No, I didn't wash boobs. Anyway, I stabbed the queen, everyone. I touched a kid once. That's great. One accusation about you comes out in public, and your defence is you just get up and you just read out a fucking laundry list.

Here's all the other shit they don't know about. I went to Epstein's Island, everyone. I was flying the plane. I brought the kids. I built the little temple there for free. Wow. And did you feel like after you, when you did that, and then when you got back in the van,

did you feel like people sort of relate? Did you feel like people were treating you differently? No, it was very awkward in the car. I bet, yeah. There were a few people, no, everyone sort of individually went, oh, thanks for doing that. I'm not sure if I could have been able to do it.

But it was very quiet. And I was texting my wife, saying, hey, we just, you know, we just killed the interview. Check out what I did. And everything. I'm so horny. How quickly can you get to Hamilton?

And then she responded going, is everyone just a bit freaked out by you? And I go, no, a few people said thanks. It is very silent in the car. She went, cool, now we know how we get 10 comedians to actually shut the fuck up. Because the turnaround for like, you know when you're young and there's always that like, it's such a thing that people talk about

with like psychopaths of like, you know, when they're a little kid, they'll like torture animals. So it's like you have that that you have like the weird kid who's into like frying ants or at your school and it's like then there's just like a long gap in your life where then like all of a sudden you now have if you ever encounter it like you have to do this yeah as a matter of like you know putting the animal out it's like there's a long gap in your life where killing an animal is a factor in any way. Also, they say that's a sign of a serial killer growing up. If you're a kid and you torture or you kill a pet,

when you grow up, 20, 30 years later, you're a sign that you could be a serial killer. So what are you, 40-something? 41. So by the time you're 70, you might become a serial killer. This might be the first sign. Let's just point out I euthanised it. Yeah.

We're leaving out a pivotal part of the story. I was chatting to Bron during the week and she said you smashed it with a rock before the car hit it. At a zoo. At a zoo. It was a Hillsville open sanctuary.

And sure, you hit it with a van, but you weren't supposed to drive in there. There was no road. I would be... I think in that position, I'd probably be okay to do it. Oh, really? But my worry would be,

I don't want to put my hand up for this too quickly because people are going to think, this guy's a fucking psychopath. You know, I would have to do a bit of a song and song and dance of like oh if no one else is okay to do it then i get you know when an emu is literally sort of screaming on the road you sort of speed up your decision making all right guys i'll do it i'll bring out my uh dexter's toolkit and get my hacksaw and uh and was it one one hit one hit one hit one hit rock to the head um yeah and then did you keep it off the road did i keep the emu yeah got the head like mounted on your wall

donate it to the skimpy bar so they can hang it did you bury it and make a speech no do you actually fucking something some things are ingrained And I didn't even realise I did it until Sir and Jaya Mana pointed it out to me that I'd done it. But after... You didn't realise you'd killed an emu until someone pointed it out? That's right. Just another one. It was a 15-year-old that week. Just another classic Australian mammal that were renowned for this cartoon.

That's a bird! Danny invested in emu eggs years ago. He's never forgiven them. I've killed so many ostriches. This means nothing to me. Apparently, just before I did, just after, and I didn't even realise I did it, I did the classic Catholic sign of the cross.

Oh, really? Wow. It's just ingrained. Deeply ingrained. Yeah. Also, I would like to point out That last week Danny McGinley Said to me Get me on the pod next week

Because I've got a great funny story No That's coming up That's not it I've got another thing to tell you You told me You told Yeah when you were messaging me

When I was telling you That Jane Kennedy was running late You were like I've got You were like I've got something to tell you boys And I That happened on Roadshow

And I said Is this a story for on the air or off the air? And you said on the air. And I said, well, I mean, that's great in a podcast content sense. Yes. But it also means that I'm sort of now immediately less interested in the story. Oh, totally. Because an off-air story, I'd be like, oh, this is going to be sweet.

I've got an off-air story. Okay, great. Who did you kill? What are your thoughts on wombats? Actually, I haven't seen Bron Lewis for a few weeks. The emu bombed and that's why I killed him.

How was Roger? I killed. But no, something else did happen? Well, this is something that happened a couple of months ago and I told Tom Ballard this and he went, fuck, you have to tell

the dumb, dumb guys this. He was laughing very hard at this. So I've been cast in a movie. Okay. It's a independent... You're doing a lot of acting lately. Thank you. Yeah, I'm trying to get more into it

and get work. Going full Greg Fleet style, Danny McGuinlay thespian. Yes. Because I'm not a comedian, I'm a storyteller. Right, okay. You're a raconteur. I am, storyteller. You're a raconteur.

I am. I am. You're a murderer. Whatever. And it's a very worthy film is the best way I can describe it.

Depressing as hell. It's about a day in the life of a... Is it like that guy that you said before that does the music? What was the reference?

Dean Martin. Dean Martin. Dean Lewis. Dean Lewis. Yes, I'm playing Dean Martin. Dean Martin. Dean Lewis. Dean Lewis. Yes, I'm playing Dean Martin. That's amore. Always makes me cry. It's very sad that pizza being stuck up in the sky like that.

Why can't it get down? I want to eat it. Finally, that pizza is surrounded by sky. So it's like the day in the life of this single mother in Footscray in the 90s and just everything goes wrong for her. And she's with her kid and everything. I play her old boss who owns a pub. Ex-boss or old boss?

Ex-boss, but she's asking for her job back in the scenes. And I give her a spoiler alert. I give her a chance and then things go even worse. But the condition as the pub owner that I give her her job back is she can't bring her kid in. Yes. So Danny McGinley famously on this show, we had a very big argument about it.

Biggest fight of our lives, Carl. Yes. It was just post lockdown. We were just like the first day out of lockdown. You could go to the pub and we were so excited and we booked a table. And it wasn't last minute. I gave you plenty of warning. day out of lockdown, you could go to the pub and we were so excited and we booked a table. Remember? And it wasn't a last minute.

I gave you plenty of warning. Dan Andrews would be like mid-press conference and you'd have the pub on speed dial so that the moment he said we're open on this date, you could book a table. Yeah. So you get in, booked a table of eight and then it became a really big, it was like, you know, Oscar nominations. Who's going to make the eight? It was MySpace.

Yeah. Yes. Top eight. Tom was there. Yeah. Yeah. Tom's in there. Who else? So, and then it was MySpace. Yeah, yes. Top A. Tom's there, yeah. Yeah, yeah, Tom's in there, but who else? So, and then it was like that.

And then the last minute, McGinley pulled her. Oh, I've got the kid. It was not a last minute. You've got to bring the kid along. Mate, I've got it, but that's my day with the kid. It's sweet. We'll chuck her on the iPad in the corner. It'll be absolutely fine.

And then Carl, last minute, goes, oh, no, the pub says it's not allowed. Even though that was a complete lie. Absolutely lie. Well, I'm sorry that your little kid didn't want to come in and see topless barmaids. I'm sorry I had to make the decision. Pete, where do you land on this? Just quickly, kids at the pub.

There's in general and then there's that specific moment which was the first time we could all get together in a pub and obviously we were going to get absolutely trolled. Yeah, I was still only popping in for two hours. Two hours is a long time. The first two hours out of lockdown. Yeah, I know. It would have been great.

I would have loved that. It was great. Wish you were there. I mean, listen, if kids have behaved and they're controlled and they're not fucking running around, then fine. Which my kid is, absolutely. I'm okay with it. I'm reasonably empathetic towards parents.

I'm not sure if we've discussed this on this podcast before, but I have an idea for like a pub or a bar or a restaurant where you can take your kids and you basically have a deal with the restaurant owner, like the other waiters, that they can come over and tear shreds through your kids. Oh, right. Give them one experience. If they play up.

If your kids are about shit when they're playing up. If they play up. If you're going out to restaurants and your kids are always playing up, you take them to this restaurant and you have a life-fucking-changing experience where a waiter comes up. It's like the Karen diner. Yeah, I was going to say. Oh, yes. Is that where the people... Where they're mean to you, apparently. They're rude to you. Yeah, out. It's like the Karen diner. Yeah, I was going to say. Oh, yes.

Is that the, where the people, they're rude to, yeah, yeah. It was the whole novelty, yeah. These won't be rude to the parents. It'll be only rude to the kids.

Yeah, I think it's a great idea. You, hey little kid, you little shit. Yep. You shut the fuck up. You sit down there and you wait

and you wait for your parents to be ready to go home and that's, you know, and like just, and they will remember that for the rest of their lives. Well, they'll remember it because I reckon you'd be bringing that kid be ready to go home. And that's, you know, and like just, and they will remember that for the rest of their lives. Well, they'll remember it

because I reckon you'd be bringing that kid to the pub every day. And what's the, who are we looking for when we're hiring the waiters? Like, do we want people that have kids at home that are like, they've got their own pent up frustrations and it's just like, they're able to like, just fully unload on someone else's kid

without wanting to put them to damage. Or is it just Carl? It could just be Carl. Is it people without kids yet who are maybe thinking about it to sort of show them the realities? Yeah, probably without kids, I think. I think most parents would have some kind of trace of empathy. They get it.

They've been there. So you need people without. It's not a fun experience taking your kids out. I used to always – I don't like being in people's way. I kind of like – I don't like to get in people's way when I'm out and about. So when you have kids and you're trying to shepherd them through situations, I was always like, let's just get in. I can eat quick.

Get the fuck out. No one clogs up a doorway or a footpath like a family. Yeah. Unbelievable stuff. If the kids aren't pub trained. I've been taking my kids to pubs since they were babies. They know how to behave. No, but they're your children.

So one of them will be in the corner fucking strangling a raccoon or something. Yeah, yeah. Because they've got that psychopath gene. And the pubs you bring them to, they're trained. So what, your kids walk in, they take their top off straight away and go, okay, this is what we all do in pubs. I haven't told you the best bit, what the film's called. Oh, yeah. Westgate's called. Oh, yeah.

Westgate. Yes. Oh, fantastic. Wow. Is this... Are we making this film? Is this our biopic? Yeah.

Are we making the merch for this film? We should be making the merch. It's from before productions. So, Pete, you would be... You're on the side of no kids. No kids at the... In a social setting. I mean, I can understand the situation.

I can have a... Think of it this way. From Carl's point of view, like, when you had, like, if you got eight seats... Eight comics. And it's like, who's... Pinch up frustration from lockdown.

Or they want to go out and just go ballistic. And we don't... And we don't want to mind our P's and Q's at the pub. You know how bad comedians are. Yeah. In a green room. Yes. Before the show.

I'll just reiterate the facts, Your Honour. She would have been sitting either on my lap. Gee, there we go, even worse. That's sexist. I don't want to swear in front of a lady. She's my daughter. She ain't a lady. She would have been either on my lap or in the corner, iPad, headphones.

Noise cancelling? Absolutely. Hang on, you're going to bring your kid and then put her in the corner and headphones. Noise cancelling? Absolutely. Hang on, you're going to bring your kid and then put her in the corner and put headphones on her. Are you punishing her? That's not a good thing, is it? That sounds bad. Being on her iPad?

What the fuck is wrong with your kid that iPad is punishment? What's the other one? Oh, you have to eat ice cream. I have a question which may actually inform my verdict. Was Arsh Barker going to be at the lunch? He actually lived very close by to this pub, yeah. But no, he wasn't going to be. He wasn't going to be.

Okay, well, you can probably take the kid then. Thank you, Your Honour. Let's take this to the Supreme Court. So when's this movie filming? Filming in about a month so yeah quite exciting excellent excellent and we're talking what we're talking a feature it is a feature yes yeah directed by this young lad called adrian ortega who's made another film it's on stan and uh yeah this is it's very i'm almost dreading actually watching it because it's so fucking

depressing but it'll win all the awards. You should watch it when it comes out and then go on Pete's movie podcast. Like that could be the most, the shortest turnaround from release to talking about it on your. It's true. I haven't seen it yet.

I still haven't seen this film that came out yesterday. This classic or beloved movie, Westgate. It opened yesterday and it's already considered a classic. I can't believe I've never seen that before. I'm so embarrassed. Everyone opened yesterday and it's already considered a classic. I can't believe I've never seen that before. I'm so embarrassed. Everyone's talking about it. I still haven't

gotten around to it. It's a real blind spot in my film knowledge. Do you want me to get a From Before hat and put it in the pub just in the corner? Absolutely.

Even though it's set in the 90s. Please. Well, that's from before. The 90s is from before. It's from before. That's perfect.

Also, how did you get this? How did you get cast in this depressing movie? Did they see your solo show or something? Yes. Yes. You know, when we hit the emu, that was the first gag that everyone was just like, guess he saw your set last night. Yes. That's comedy.

That's comedy. Was the car damaged at all? Yeah, totaled. I hit a kangaroo. Totaled? Yeah, well, it had to be towed away and everything. So you were stuck with a dead emu in the middle of all? Yeah, totaled. I hit a kangaroo. Totaled? Yeah, well, it had to be towed away and everything. So you were stuck with a dead emu in the middle of nowhere? No, there's two cars.

So they drove. We all got crammed into one. Of course, you and Bron Lewis, it's like the president and the vice president. You can't be in the same car at the same time. That's right. Yeah. Well, that's what they're... Because the emu's controlled by fucking Al-Qaeda.

They're trying to take us down. Yeah. The twin emus. Yeah. Hit one of them. The tower. Emu one take us down. The twin emus. Hit one of them. Emu one has gone down. Watch out for emu two. Mate, I think you'll agree. Mitsubishis can't burn emus.

Yeah. Jet fuel. Two deep. Pro-barring this. Two deep. Did anybody cry? Were there any tears? I think, yeah, I think there was a couple of...

Once we were all in the one car and it was silent i was up the front so i wasn't really turning around and going hey how's everyone going yeah and were you talking about this you're looking for more i used to hit those i wasn't going to talk about it on stage and then it's sort of the crowd in hamilton really loved good to be here although i had to bash an emu's head in with a rock this afternoon so it's good to be anywhere I was doing like tuck round

don't make me bring the rock out hang on that's funny you bring that up emus today because Harry Hamilton

our town mascot has gone missing the emu went for a bit of a walk yeah greets visitors

on the way into town he was doing a walk for charity down the side of the freeway. To raise funds for his missing sister. Actually, the beauty of playing a small town like Hamilton, by the way, and Hamilton were...

Everyone knows everyone. Exactly. No, they did. No, they freaking did. And there was a guy in the front row who... This crowd were kind of okay with pre-prepared jokes, but what they wanted was crowd work. So I did a couple of a couple of jokes and there's like a bit of crowd work and then they're like yeah crowd work okay okay great crowd work meaning you talk to the crowd you say

where you're from yeah yeah yeah i said what do you do is it missing etc there's a guy in the front row who's uh and i've just gone what you know what do you do for a job and he's done the classic thing that some male audience members often do of giving a smart eye. He goes, I'm a secret agent. Oh, yeah. It's just like, okay, yeah, very good, very good. But the great thing about Hamilton is I just then went, okay,

we'll find out what does he do? And like all of them yelled out, works at the dry cleaner. You fucking liar. Secret cleaning agent. He was undercover at the dry cleaner. That is the thing that's driving me wild at the moment with the big thing of sharing crowd work clips on Instagram and TikTok is seeing someone where it's that happening. It's like a person giving a smart-ass answer.

And then they're sort of taking it, the comic's taking it at face value and they've put it up as a reel. Like, can you believe this? I had a penis polisher in the front row of my show and it's like, oh, this is just some guy taking the piss, you fucking idiot. CEO of the dick-sucking factory. That doesn't exist.

It's not a real thing. This isn't a real crowd work clip. This is fake. I went down there. They're not CFO. They're financial officer at best. It's not even a real factory. It's an outlet.

How can you manufacture that? I'm reminded of Louis CK's joke about you know how bad a person you are by how long it took you to masturbate after 9-11. He says he was between the tails going down

Danny after the emu For me it's rock raised overhead I'm ready to go A very respectful four hours You know what I just, I literally someone, my phone's been listening to me

I just opened my phone to check for notes to see if I had any other notes for this episode What's the ad that I've got as I've opened up my phone There's a whole spate of emu movies at the moment If only they'd fucking cast me in that if I had any other notes for this episode. What's the ad that I've got? Emu War. There's a whole spate of Emu movies at the moment. If only they'd fucking cast me in that. This could have been great publicity.

Well, the movie would have been a lot shorter. Yeah, I would have won. That's why I didn't get the role. No, that was you doing publicity for the film. That was an activation. Would have been good. Yeah. It could have been the opening scene of the movie.

That's what the Emu War sparked. The Emu War. They get revenge. Emus versus comics. Yeah. It could have been the opening scene of the movie. That's what the emu war sparked. The emu war. They get revenge. Emus versus comics. Yeah. No, Danny's a vet. He's back from the... Do you mean veterinarian or veteran? Veteran.

So you're back from the war. Because they both kill emus. Yeah. And you get the... You just get the... You're getting the flashbacks. The next minute, you know, the rock's out. You just go into a fused state.

You don't even realise you've done it. Look, if you don't mind, Danny, if we can get off you killing emus and looking at bare breasts for one second. If we can drag you. Stop bringing up the fact that you love buzzies. If you don't mind, but one thing... It was amazing that he could take his eyes off the breast to kill the emu, to be honest.

Well, as he was smashing the head off the emu, he's like, well, this is topless now. I love this emu now. Oh, my God. Anyway, this reminds me of another place We had a drink at A while back I love a place A restaurant

On Bourke Street in Melbourne Called Thailand We've talked about it On the show Oh yeah yeah yeah Times before A very imaginative Imaginative title

Thailand That's the name of a Thailand They got it Last time we were there Where did you I went home Where were you going Where was I going

Where were you going Where was I going To a certain topless bar That you're accusing me Of going to Fucking hypocrite I went home Where were you going? Where was I going? Where were you going? Where was I going? To a certain topless bar That you're accusing me of going to Fucking hypocrite I dropped Brett Blake off there I didn't go I didn't go

After he dropped a 50 on the bar I didn't go Dropped a few coins in the jug Don't besmirch your Fellow bar drinkers That you're at every night I did not go I was dropping off a grown man

who needed a lift. This is like me accusing all of you of killing emus. Anyway, stick to the facts. We were at Thailand. I can't believe you brought a topless bar into a game game. Fucking hell.

We get it. You like it. So we went there. There was a – and we saw a scam happen. I've never seen this scam before. So there was a guy. We're sitting at the front. This table's at the front.

And there was a guy, and he was, like, standing inside the door of this restaurant, Thailand. And he was coming out, and he asked this to us, and we didn't really know it was a scam, it was just this guy who came out with a plastic bag full of food, and he came out, and he's like, hey guys, I'm really sorry to annoy you, but I've got this food, and I've got here, and I forgot my credit card, and so I don't have any cash on me, but I need to pay them for it, so yeah, I know this is really weird or whatever, but I've got this, and I just need to go them for it so um yeah i know this is really weird or whatever but i've got this and i just need to go and so can you look can you um just pay for it and look here's

all here i'll give me your bank details yeah give us your bank details i've got my phone i've got net banking up right now and i'll send you the money right now but if you can just pay for this food and then um uh you know we'll do it'll be easy and we were just sitting there this is convoluted yeah it's like very convoluted if ivoluted scam. Way too convoluted. If I haven't had my Vyvanse and I'm hearing this, I'm just glazed. I'm glazed over. I'm out.

It's someone too frantic about it as well. And we're like, this is so weird. It's such an easy out to go. Bad energy. No, thank you. We're just sitting here having a drink. And he's like, oh, I really need to pay for this. It's like, how urgent?

How much do you want this green curry? Just fucking figure it out. No, the fact that he was holding the plastic bag of food they clearly gave it to you yeah yeah yeah so we're like you could run away right now but it's such a confusing

like whole run of events that we're like you know what's way easier is to just say no thank you we're just having a beer yeah

we really gotta get to this topless bar we're both really keen on going to I'm dropping off Danny I've got a chauffeur service I go there a lot but I never go in I just to this topless bar. We're both really keen on going to. I'm dropping off Danny. I've got a chauffeur service. I go there a lot, but I never go in.

I just, I'm just out the front. I mean, you go in, but you don't go in. Once you're inside the premises, you just go in. I just look at the bottom half of everyone. That's what I do. That's what I do. I just lie on the floor the whole time I'm there. To me, it's just a haberdashery. I just like fabric. Yes time I'm there. To me, it's just a haberdashery. I just like fabric.

Yes. Yeah. I'm a shoes man. Yeah. So we do that. He then goes away. And we're like, okay, well, I don't know. It was just very confusing because you get this little hint of it being a scam, but you're

not really sure why. And so then he goes away and then he comes back and then we see him do the same thing a few more times. And eventually it's like 20, 30 minutes goes by. He's been doing it so many times you're like, well, this food's no good. Like, this food's cold by now. Like, this has got to be a scam by now. And then he's –

Because those are the best ones where in your head you're like, I don't quite get how this works. Yeah. As a – you know, it doesn't quite make sense. Exactly. So it's just crazy enough to be true. Yes. I guess I'll take it at face value. Yeah, yeah, value yeah it's like you can't quite see what the end game is here or how you can get scammed through it so you're like okay i'm i'm a bit sort of like cloudy maybe it

maybe someone's up for doing it but we're just like well we've had a few beers it's a lot easier for us to go fuck off no yeah yeah so then that goes on for half an hour and then goes on for about an hour this guy's still sitting there with the same... We start to realise, oh, there's no food in there. He's just got a bit of Tupperware in there or whatever. He doesn't have anything in there. So we're sitting there for an hour. He's on the street or he's in the restaurant?

He's in the restaurant. Yeah, they're tolerating it. That's the weird thing. And they're not moving him on? No. So that's the weird thing. He's hanging around. They're tolerating him.

And we're watching him going, how the fuck does this keep like how is he allowed to so then then after about an hour we see the staff go up to him and have this talk and we go finally they're going to clear him out yeah and they're like and this back and forth conversation he's standing there and he's like oh okay all right okay okay they finally walk away from him we're like great the end of this guy then he still stays there for another five minutes and we're like great the end of this guy then he still stays there for another five minutes and we're like what's taking him so long

to fuck off then we see the waitress come up and give him a sprite and him give them like two dollars or whatever and we go

oh they've said to him you need to fuck off or buy something he's like okay well what's the minimum item I can buy and still stay in the restaurant and keep scamming people

keep trying to do my scam so they're like you can scam as many people as you want, but you have to buy something. The ultimate scam. Scammers have a two drink minimum. Yeah. So he sat there and just sucked on a Sprite and kept trying to scam people with this thing. And that's, surely that's not the first time he's been in there. I don't know.

I doubt it. Yeah. And by the way, just in case, I doubt anyone is actually picturing a scammer in a sort of George Clooney Ocean's Eleven style confidence man. This guy looked like a fucking junkie. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Tip-backs for a Sprite's pretty good though, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, good point actually. This has sort of ended up being a good ad for this venue. Yeah, yeah. I doubt he paid for it. I would say he went up to the waitress and went, if you can just pay for this, I'll send you back the money. You might get scammed,

but the cans of soft drink are cheap, so it all kind of balances out. I'd love to be, being a scammer and just spending your days just sitting around cooking up new scams,

it's a fun life. Just, you know, a bit of creativity there, just having to sit and be like, now what are venues I can hit? Just having your little whiteboard up

where you're like trying to plan it all out. It's a tricky one. I've never heard of that one. I've never heard of the – It was very elaborate, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it didn't work once the whole time we were there, but still.

I heard after you hit the emu, all your wallets were stolen. That's the magic trick. The emu's corpse got up and go here's your wristwatch back they tracked all the all the serial notes of the of the money

and it all ended up in this pub and punt wrote it was really weird it was really weird how many more times can we wedge it in that's what he asked

oh shit yeah being in like the writers room for a group of scammers would be, you know. I wonder if there's like, you know, the same kind of politics as in comedy. Yeah. Where someone's like, fuck, did you hear that? Yeah.

Did you hear his fucking idea for a scam? Yeah, the old switcheroo. Yeah, yeah. Then a producer comes in. You invented that, did you? Yeah. Oh, the old Harold Holt scam. Yeah, good one.

Yeah, fuck, I know. one yeah well uh speak so while we were in thailand actually i um uh i i booked tickets to something while i was overseas uh of course jerry seinfeld was just out here yeah sorry it was great you went yeah so my dad was really keen to go and uh was going to be away and he was sort of upset about that he was like i, oh, I really wanted to go. And then in the interim my mum had an operation on her foot and can't really walk on it and so they had to can their trip. And I just kind of remembered that near the end of us being in Thailand because Seinfeld was here like right after we got back.

And so I was like, oh, I'm going to book tickets for – I'll book tickets for me and my dad as like a surprise. Like he's been kind of looking after mum. He's bummed about missing this trip and everything. Book the tickets, call him up. I'm like, dad,

you know, no, you're pretty upset about all this, but you know, you wanted to go to Seinfeld and you, you know, you're in town now for it. So yeah,

I got his tickets. I got his good seats and yeah, I'll take you. And he's like, Oh, the Sunday. Yeah. We're,

we're going to the RAC club in Hillsville that night. So yeah, I can't make it. Wow. Is he doing any shows the next. So, yeah, I can't make it. Wow. Is he doing any shows the next weekend? I'm like, he's not out here doing a fucking residency. Great. But I did, I ended up, I sold the tickets

and then I'm like sitting around the pool in Koh Samui trying to navigate getting rid of the tickets I had and then getting tickets to the other fucking show that he was trying to navigate, getting rid of the tickets I had, and then getting tickets to the other fucking show that he was doing to take my dad to. Oh, right. So you ended up taking your dad to a different night? Yes. Right.

Okay. Right. Because Carl was at the same night I was there. I was. I went as well. I see your dad's a Palestinian protester as well. I think I ended up at the only show of the whole tour that he didn't get heckled on.

Were you kind of hoping there was a... So you could see the... A little bit. Well, the weird thing is at the end of the show he does a Q&A. I'm like, why are you opening the floor? Every night someone's like... The first question is going to be, why do you hate Palestine? That's the classic thing, though.

He's been protested the first night. He's come with a good zinger, and he's just trying to recreate that thing. He's like, any questions? Yeah. Anyone want to talk about? Anyway, so I look over there to the west. Anyway, I went to the bank. Is there a west bank?

Anyway, who's your favorite foot player? Gaza, Ablett, Gaza. Yeah. It was funny to imagine you're the person that's in there. Somehow they're doing pretty thorough bag checks, but you've gotten the Palestinian flag in there. You're ready to go. But then it's Seinfeld, so the whole show is so trivial and so banal.

What's the moment that you're looking for to do your protest? He has a bit in the show where he's literally like i like coffee i don't like tea and just imagining this guy being like fucking right we're on here like going into the bag like free palestine like what moment are you picking to like fire up into action oh yeah my mate who i went with uh clearly does not watch that much stand up uh because he did ask like a week out. You know, Seinfeld was promoting the Pop-Tarts movie and was getting a bit of flack for saying so.

Seinfeld just going to go on monologues about how no one's masculine anymore? I go, who do you think we're seeing? We're in for an hour of iPhones and airline food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is someone, that's someone who's been to like one of those in-conversation withs. Yeah. You know you know like not realizing that he's seeing an actual show like he thinks he's just going to be given the forum to yeah yeah yeah when he goes to see leonardo dicaprio movies go is he just going to date underage women the um the q a unbelievable

with just like oh does anyone have any questions for me and people near me were just literally yelling out these pretzels are making me thirsty it's like yeah well done you've seen the show you know that's like the film festival thing in the q a of like trying to show like how into something you are but it's like yeah it's seinfeld fucking everyone knows someone yelled out can you say no soup for you and jerry said that's not even my line I did love it I thought it was I didn't see him this year I completely forgot the book tickets but I saw him last time he was here and I saw him in Vegas for our honeymoon many years ago

and he's brilliant he's absolutely brilliant he's like the best I got tickets to see Daniel Kitson on the same day and i'd said to my wife um oh we're gonna go and see a show we're gonna have a date night we're gonna go and see comedy we're gonna see kitson it's gonna be great we go to the house i got babysitter she's like okay all right and as it came up and closer and closer i was like so today's the day we're gonna go and she's like so who are we seeing and i go daniel kids and she goes really and i go yeah that's the person i've been talking about the whole time she goes

i go why would you think not and she goes well i just sort of thought you know it was going to be a big surprise you were going to go surprise i got tickets to seinfeld and i was like why would i why would i have done that she's like because i hate daniel kidson and i was like oh that's right and i remember i i love kitson but 10 years ago or whenever it was he came out and i'd seen a couple of his stand-up shows and i was like he's the best and i think he's the best he's so good he's so funny but every now and then he'll put in like a serious play or whatever yeah so i'd said to my wife hey we're gonna i'm gonna take you to this show friday night after work it's gonna be so good straight after work seven o'clock art center we go there front row front row tickets

it's gonna be so good and we get there and it's this play that is not funny and it's not funny on purpose and it's got this big sort of like background sort of thing on the on the on the stage and it's very somber and it's very serious in fact Kitson something goes wrong the lights go out and he accidentally is funny like it's sort of off the cuff

it's sort of like anyway sorry like apologises for being funny but now back to this that's and then

and so this is my wife's first experience with Daniel Kitson the opposite of what I've experienced my wife it's a long day at work

she falls asleep in the front row oh wow and at the end of the show there's wife it's a long day at work she falls asleep in the front row oh wow and at the end of the show there's because it's quite an elaborate he must have seen that and thought god i wish i wasn't doing a fucking play right now yeah light this bitch up so yeah so then there's this elaborate set and at the end he says thanks for coming to the show uh i know everyone's looking at the elaborate set and it's like this big bookshelf and there's a million books and there's all these sort of bits and pieces to it.

And you know what? You're allowed to come up and everyone wants to have a look at it. So you're allowed to come up and have a look at it. Thank you so much for coming. Except for anyone in the front row that fell asleep. You're not allowed to come and touch the set or look at anything, okay? Wow. And we're like, oh, how many people fell asleep?

Oh, no, just one. Okay. I saw him do one of those plays in Edinburgh and fully crack it about three quarters of the way through. Because he won't break character. He tries not to. But suddenly, we're about 40 minutes into a one-hour play, and he just suddenly breaks character.

He goes, excuse me, there is a lot of chatter happening in the third row what is going on and a guy stands up and goes to walk out and the whole crowd is just petrified that kitson's gonna rip this guy a new one yeah and he goes where are you going and the guy goes gonna get something to eat the whole crowd just go full wrestler WWE. Ooh. He goes, may I ask why? He goes, I'm hyperglycemic and I'm having an attack. Oh, that's great. There's no comeback in that. Kitson just goes, that's perfectly acceptable then.

Straight back into the play. That was a great Josh Thomas impression, Dave. Thank you. Really love that. So wait, so you had the kits and tickets Yes And So

Then she just So that happens She starts putting the pressure on Going Oh well I don't really I don't want to go to that But I'd really like to go to Seinfeld I really want to go to Seinfeld

Let's go to Rod Laver Arena And just see if they'll honour These Daniel kits and tickets And let us in Again Couldn't be more of a difference In prices by the way Yeah

Oh my fucking God. So then the argument that my wife put forward was, we need Seinfeld. He's the greatest comedian of all time. She's not into comedy at all. She's seen Seinfeld. Carl, it's the show about nothing. This is so funny that you and I had the opposite experience

where I've bought the expensive tickets for my dad and he's like, I can't really make it. Yeah, yeah. So she goes, he's the greatest comedian of all time. Carl, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. I go, hey, we've seen him before. It's a twice in a lifetime experience. So no, it is a once in a lifetime opportunity and we've seen him before so I need to honour the fact that it was a once in a lifetime experience. So no, it is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

And we've seen him before. So I need to honour the fact that it was a once in a lifetime by not buying tickets to this one. Yeah, yeah. So then we had to go. So then I got the tickets. She was like, so like, what part of me hating and falling asleep during Daniel Kitson didn't you get?

I'm like, okay, I guess we're just not going to Daniel Kitson anymore. So what part of this process are you buying these tickets? Then. I just bought them like on the day. There were still tickets available. Like in the car on the way to Daniel Kitson. No, no, no. Changing the address in the Uber.

We're going to make the tickets stop. Oh, fuck, I've just realised this. This is actually quite funny. So then when Kitson was supposed to be on, she goes, well, I'm not going to go. I'm going to save myself for Seinfeld tonight. We've got the tickets for Seinfeld tonight. You can go by yourself. And I went, all right.

And she went out and went shopping and I sat on my bed and I fell asleep and didn't go. Oh, brilliant. I actually fell asleep. Oh, I thought you meant it was like the same night that you had the tickets for Kitson. It was. Oh, right. No, no, Kitson was on during the day. Oh, sure, sure, sure sure it was like 4 o'clock

and 7 o'clock or something like that I was going to say because it's like then you just don't show up you've done the front row trick again and he's like I hope no one fucking falls asleep

in the front row and then he comes out two empty seats two empty seats you are not allowed to look at the set yeah yeah all I was looking at

was the inside of my eyelids so yeah well I after the after the Seinfeld gig I went and had dinner with my dad and then I was going at was the inside of my eyelids. So, yeah. Well, after the Seinfeld gig, I went and had dinner with my dad and then I was going to a friend's birthday in South Bank, which was kind of near where we'd had dinner. Dad heads off and I'm like a little bit early for dinner for my friend and I'm walking down South Bank and I see one of the, like,

cartoon character artists and I'm like, it's just been a thing in my head for ages. I'm like, I just want to start every time i see one of those people i just want to have like a gallery of just different drawings of me by different like street sketch artists to just kind of see the disparity that you get you know in like how different people take it on and so i was like you know what it says there's like a person there and they're like, takes five minutes. I'm like, I'll do this. Great. How much for five minutes? That's what he says at the time.

Was it the, oh, very nice how you've distracted away from the top of the phone that you go to every night. 15 bucks for like a A3, I guess, in like a little plastic sleeve. So more of a Kitson price than a Seinfeld character. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Who is the Seinfeld of street character artists, I wonder? And I kind of, my idea was, this will be funny.

I'll get this done. And I was like, oh, then I've just got to fucking carry it around with me all night. And I was like, I'll just give this to my friend as her birthday present. Just turn up with a cartoon of myself. Oh, you got it done. I treated an emu better than you treated this person. And so I got to turn up and go, happy birthday, Brenna. Just what you've always wanted.

A cartoon of your dear friend, Tommy Dasolo. He's made you cross-eyed. They've really done me dirty here. Halfway through, a group of girls walked past behind the sketch artist and one of them looked at me and then looked at the easel and went, oh, that's good. And so I'm getting excited. I'm thinking like, oh, this is going to be great.

And she's also like, hey, smile, show me your teeth. And I was like, no, I'm not falling for that one. That's how they really – and so she's just had to like – Well, they're not going show me your teeth. And I was like, no, I'm not falling for that one. That's how they really... And so she's just had to like... Well, they're not going to make your teeth... She's given me the most fucked up like crooked butt teeth. Yeah. It's a caricature artist.

They're not going to make smaller teeth, are they? They're going to make everything bigger. Why have they made you cross-eyed? Maybe, yeah, I don't know. They've given you the full der face. Yeah. They've gone der face on you. Do I look like this?

I mean, a little bit, but not that bad. Show us the drawing instead of the passport photo you're showing us at the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we can decide. He nailed the glasses. I think you got the glasses right. Oh, right. Yeah, you're wearing a hat.

That's such a nice picture. I was wearing a hat, yeah. I mean, you're sitting down with, like like enough visual accoutrement on your head. They're going like, fuck, there's a few gimmies here. Yeah, absolutely. Get them right and you're halfway home. If I'd had the hat off, there would have been like a big fucking like glint of sun like coming off the dome of the bald head.

A shine, a little shine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You like roller skating? Everyone likes roller skating. Yeah, that's truly what it felt like. The real like, yeah, I was like, God, what's a hobby I can say that I have? If I say video games, it's going to draw me getting fucking bummed

by Sonic the Hedgehog. What do you like doing? I like killing emus. Well, yeah, this is going to be my, this is my ongoing project. Anytime I see one of these people in the street, I'm going to, I'm like the yes man. Anytime I see one of these people.

How many have you got so far? Just this one. Just that one. This is a recent. Yeah. Yeah. We can only get better. Yeah.

There's not a whole lot of them out there. Yeah. I kind of thought of this a while ago and then you actually don't see as many of them as you, as you think you might. As you used to. Mainly because they're churning out work like that probably. They're not doing a lot of return business. They've all gone online.

Everything's online now. If you go to markets though, they'll be at markets, won't they? be at markets right now yeah yeah yeah yeah anyway we'll post that online so people can yeah yeah enjoy that it's good just enjoy that it's honestly to me it feels like you have gone in there and gone can you can you fuck me up i mean look i will say knowing that i was going to give it to my friend as a gift i I was like, if this looks fucked, that's perfect. But I was also like... It's weird for them to give you that without it being a joke. Yeah. I mean, the cross-eye.

The cross-eye is weird. It's weird. I mean, you're right. If they were to say, I'm going to put this in the post, you know, and send it to you, that would be almost like, yeah, they haven't looked at the truck with it themselves, but they've had their hand...

You know when they've got their hand in to you or turn it around like a reveal. I mean, it is stressful when you think of it in that way. Like that person, like every 10 minutes, they're having to spin the easel around and maybe have the person be like, what the fuck? And how is Ando doing? It's a great ep, guys.

Ando doing this. It's a great ep, guys. I think what she's done is she's drawn one eye. Ando's brush with obscurity. I think it's like she's drawn one eye when I was looking in one direction and then she's gone and drawn the other eye when I was looking in a different direction and then not really like, you know. She had a toilet break in the middle. That makes sense.

She should be good enough to adjust. The Mona Lisa was painted the same way. The fuckness follows you around the room. Shout out to Aunt Don't, anyway. One of the greatest caricaturists in Melbourne. All right. Arn shouldn't have. Well, that is going to do us for another week on the Little Dumb Dumb Club.

Danny McGinley, Peter Hellyer, thank you for joining us. Thank you. Thank you very much. The hard out time was about 10 minutes ago. Oh, God. Seriously. It softened. Yeah.

Check out Danny's podcast. Yeah, yeah, Danny Boyd. Oh, actually, something I want to plug. Yeah. Check out Danny's podcast. Yeah, yeah, Danny Boyd. Oh, actually, something I want to plug is I've been doing a thing on my YouTube with Footy Listicles. We're talking to prominent fans about their best wins and losses. Peter Helliot was my guest for the Collingwood episode. Are you into Australian football? Yeah, Australian rules football. So, yeah, I guess it's a bit niche. But I still need like 2,000 more viewing hours

and I make money off YouTube. So, please, Dumb Dumb fans, even if you're not into it, just watch it. You can leave the room. Put it on loop. That would help me out a lot. Great. And, Pete, you've got You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet.

You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet podcast. This comes out every Wednesday. Jane Kennedy did Lord of the Rings. Yvonne Kylenberg did Boys in the Hood recently. And got some shows in Sydney on... What's his set date? This might not be out by then. It will be.

It will be. Okay, well, you've been to the Cronulla area, the Shire, Sutherland Shire Performing Arts Centre. I get it. Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings. I get it. It all comes back.

Good. Gone before. And in Brisbane and Perth There's only a few tickets Left in Perth And back in Sydney At the Comedy Store On August the 3rd

Right If you want to see Pete Hellyer live You can see him Brisbane, Sydney And where else Perth Perth, great

And if you want to see Dana McGinley Royal Hotel On Punt Road In Richmond Most nights of the week Is that why you're there Every night

Just looking for me He may He may be distracted. Just wait between the little silence between Portion Sugar on me and Cherry Park. Do not dress as an animal. I cannot stress that enough. No wallabies. No one that's involved in a crest.

I would not dress as one of them. Is it true you're a black... With a rock, Chandler. Is it true you hit an Aussie ostrich at Blackman's funeral? We're burying two of them. All right, guys. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.

See you, mates. And they've done it again Bernie Bernie's Seen a couple of big ones Yep Down at the Royal Hotel Yep

Yep Good stuff Danny McGinley Wasn't that happy with all that I don't believe His body language Yeah Let's not

Let's not call back to it too much In case I get a text in the next half an hour saying, please take all that out. Good luck. Good luck. That is absolutely all the way through. Yep. Yep. Yep.

People might be listening to this now being like, what is? What's all the way through? Yeah. What are they talking about? Unfortunately, I don't think Danny McGinley is high enough on the pecking order to be able to make those calls. Oh, that's a big move. If Elliot had have done it.

Yeah, me just saying, no, not editing it out. Never done that to someone before. We've talked people through things. Talked people round. Yeah. But just a straight up no. No, we haven't. And like if they still had have held their ground and gone,

I absolutely just don't want that ad, I would have gone, okay, fair enough. There's someone that, not recently, but semi-recently, sort of just went, yeah, I don't want any of that in there. And then we just didn't answer and then just waited days and days and days for them to cool off. Well, it was a rare thing where we'd done it. We had like two weeks lead time. So it was like, you know what, let's just, we can just sit back here.

And even if we named this thing. This one, less than 24 hours 24 hours yeah even if we named what we're talking about right now people would go what yeah what that what you know what i went looking through my email for an email address of someone that was on a live show ages ago and it's the only time they've ever been on the show and i went looking to see if i still i was yeah, I think I've probably still got their email address. I'm pretty sure I linked it all up with them over email. And there's an exchange of them having, after the episode, been like, yeah, can you cut all this stuff out? And it was a similar thing.

Like it was heaps of it. It was like a thing that we called back to constantly. And it was funny because it's it's like over 10 years ago yeah so it's just funny you know reading any interaction with yourself in it from that long ago and just seeing how you how you handled did you cut it out well it's me writing back to them and being like oh i mean are you sure because like it's kind of the whole thing like it's it's so much of the episode like i just don't know like i'm really trying to like talk them around and they're just like yeah no i just i really like and did it come out i did

have to take it all out yeah oh fuck because they were really like no it's like a uh it was someone talking about a previous high-profile relationship that they had been in. And this person was like, it'll just be tabloid fodder. It'll just make my life a lot worse. And I was like, okay, well, yeah, fair enough. I don't even remember that. I know who you're talking about.

I don't know why you brought it up in the first place then. Yeah. That's always the way. It's more often than not, it's something that the person themselves brought up. Now that you know, I know exactly who you're talking about. I know who they're talking about.

And I know that we would have gone in going, well, let's not talk about that. Yeah. Yeah. That was my memory of it was that they brought it up. Anyway, shout out to Roseburn.

Yeah. It was funny reading me back trying to be like, oh, you should like, I'm really like, Hey, you sure? He's like,

yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really going to make my life pretty annoying. We would not have talked about that. Yeah. Oh, I don't even remember that happening. But, you know, why did he bring it up?

I don't know. I don't know. Oh, okay. I'll go back and listen. Someone, if anyone, they were fun shows in Sydney, talking about our live show coming up in Sydney, July 20. Saturday night, get in nice and early, 6.30. You can watch the show and still get out there and have dinner

and have drinks and whatever. But that was a great live. We did a double live show that weekend or that night or whatever it was. Yeah, at the Roxbury. Something's been knocked down now. Yeah. Something's been, is no longer there. Yeah.

That was when we had, who knows who we're talking about right now, but we also had Dr. Carl on a separate episode. We did him back to back. Yeah, was that back to backs? We had, yeah, Dr. Carl and this person. Yes. Yes, it was. Yeah.

What a funny combo. Yeah. Dr. Carl's request was, can you actually edit out everyone's face so I can't recognize them? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. No problem. Can you edit me out of this show?

Why have I said yes to this? Yeah. That's a good question. That was a question he, the only question he couldn't answer. Yes. Yes. What else? That show we just did.

I am currently, right now, my wife and child have just done a me, if that makes sense. They just fucked off on a plane for a week. Oh, cool. Yeah. They just went to hang out with my wife's best friend and her kids. They've just pulled a big old me and gone to a warmer location and said, have fun in fucking Eight Degreesville, cunt.

Are they – is your daughter – does she get on well with your wife's friends' kids? Yes, absolutely. Great. So it'll be good. It's not one of those weird – you would have had that when you were a kid. It's like your parents' friends. It's like, hey, they're coming around. You're like, oh, great.

Yeah. No, you're friends with them because we're friends with the parents and you were born around the same time great yeah oh no you're friends with them yeah because we're friends with the parents so and you were born around the same time so you're friends with them but you don't get don't you think it it takes a certain age till you get picky i think you just have to be friends with everyone until a certain age true but i feel like when you get older you realize you kind of always you sort of knew deep down you had a bit of an instinct where you were like yeah i don't really vibe with this person that much even though i don't really know what that means yeah you

probably it probably takes till you're 12 13 or something like that maybe to make those conscious decisions i think if you're five six seven eight whatever it is you're like ah they're just yeah i guess everyone just has to be your friend yeah everyone you just have to deal with i'd say seven is maybe the point you reckon yeah i think so where you kind of you kind of just start to deal with i'd say sevens maybe the point you're again yeah i think so where you kind of you kind of just start to go i've never liked this because i guess you kind of have it at school like you're not you're sort of not friends with everyone at school yeah you start to like be a bit discerning seven's like grade two now isn't it or is it grade three grade two i think it's grade two maybe it's great yeah yeah i'm just trying to think of being in grade two and going,

and being in that situation of being out with someone and going, I don't want to hang out with you. I reckon maybe. You didn't have that in grade two? I reckon I did. I reckon at school, I mean, you're definitely choosing who you choose at school. Yeah, but I think that's what introduces your brain to it, the idea of being discerning of like, oh, it turns out not everyone's for me.

Who the fuck's that over there? Because before that, it is just like it's very selective of just anyone who comes into your orbit you're playing with. And then you're like, yeah, that guy's fucking really weird and makes me feel not good. Yeah. Maybe it'd be more grade four or something like that. Just ask your daughter, hey, who do you hate? Who's your age that you hate? She has told told me she has told me who she doesn't like so right it's fair enough someone told her the other day that she doesn't draw very good so it's like you're on the fucking list they're done you're

on the fucking list yep and i'm with you like and my wife is like saying oh you know maybe tell them that you do draw good and you know you're a bit a little bit younger and whatever and i'm like saying you know what you find their weakness you say they got they got shit hair just tell them that you do draw good and you know you're a little bit younger and whatever and i'm like saying you know what you find their weakness you say they got my god they got shit hair just tell them that just tell them they don't draw good they draw actually worse than the burn book just tell them yeah so you go back hit them with the same sticks and stones yeah so i don't know how that's ended up but she's expelled from school so i don't know maybe that's it maybe it might be unrelated yeah it might be something else yeah um yeah so they they go on so i'm gonna i'm gonna figure out what i'm i mean i know what i do in bangkok for a week but what do i do in melbourne for a week

what the fuck am i doing so yeah that's what i got that's what i got they just just left then so uh to go where to queensland cool yeah because it school holidays. I'm now in the world of like – Yeah, yeah. You do stuff in school holidays. Base your whole life around school holidays. Actually, well, you'll like this. This is another bit of getting into the world of school holidays, being a parent. We're going to go on holidays.

Our family holiday this year is going to be in – like over Christmas. Yep. So I'm going to be somewhere else in another country for the first time. Yeah, nice. For New Year's. Yep. What country? Vietnam.

Yes. Yep. Going to go there for New Year's. So never been there before. Nice. Wait, for Christmas or Christmas and New Year's? Oh, not Christmas. Okay.

Because like we couldn't get away with not going to. Yeah, I was going to say. The mum and dad. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. No, so as soon as that's all over, we're going to go there for New Year's. Okay. Because, like, we couldn't get away with not going to the – Yeah, I was going to say. The mum and dad. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. No, so as soon as that's all over, we're going to go there for New Year's. Great.

Which bit? Da Nang. Yeah, great. Yeah. Nice. So – and that's only – it's a very short distance to Hoi An? Yeah, you fly to Da Nang to go to Hoi An. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's like a 45-minute drive or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, that's what we, that's what we're going to stay there. Because it looks like, from the outside looking in, if this makes any sense, it looks like the Gold Coast of Vietnam, but cleaner and nicer and not as full of fuckheads. Da Nang does.

Yeah. I haven't really spent any time in Da Nang City, but Hoi An is great. Are you just going to stay in Da Nang the whole time? We're going to go to there. Yeah. But we're going to stay in Da Nang. Yeah, okay. Because it's just got a big ass beach.

Yeah. And nice hotels on the beach that my wife still has, weirdly has deals with people through the travel world. Fuck yeah. Where we get like ridiculously cheap hotels and stuff. Yeah, great. But like really nice ones. Yeah, great. So the whole trip's pretty cheap. Fuck yeah. Where we get like ridiculously cheap hotels and stuff. Yeah, great. But like really nice ones. Yeah, great.

The whole trip's pretty cheap. Fuck yeah. Yeah. So anyway, Vietnam. Yeah. Should be interesting. Great place. I booked it without, you know, just sort of thinking, oh, it's always hot over there.

In my experience of Thailand, it's always hot over there. We're going there in the coldest time of Vietnam. Oh, is it really? Yeah. Yeah, right. Like how cold? Top of Vietnam. Oh, is it really? Yeah. Yeah, right. Like how cold? Top of 25. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Yeah, that's weird. So we're leaving a much warmer place to go there. Yeah, that's weird. For summer holiday. I thought that too. I thought it was always really hot. Yeah, no.

No, interesting. No. Big chance of a little bit of wet season as well. So I've made a big old call there. Yeah. Should be good. Anyway, speaking of Asia, we've just got back from Koh Samui, Tommy, I've made a big old call there Should be good Anyway Speaking of Asia

We've just got back from Koh Samui Tommy And we have heaps of bonus content On our Patreon Videos That's sort of it We recorded a live episode of Abhishek's Sperm Bank podcast over there

That's up There's two bonus episodes that we recorded That are video where we're in a pool And then there's episodes currently releasing of little travel doc stuff that we made. Yeah, travel log stuff. Yeah, and they're coming out really well. Yep. And there's still a bunch to go.

There's still a good handful to go. There's a bunch up there and there's a bunch to go. Yep. Something different. Love you to see it. The feedback we've got from the Patreoners so far has been enormous considering everything else we do they don't comment on. But these ones we're getting heaps of comments.

Yep. So that's good. And it's something good. You see us do little videos, little, you know, just listen to us. Yeah. Being little funny people. So get into that. And of course you get the whole back catalogue of like all the bullshit we've done in the

past. There's no better time to sign up, in my humble opinion. Yeah, there's like 450-something little bonus episodes on there with guests and, yeah, heaps of shit on there. And, of course, it's just doing the right thing by giving back to this little show that you listen to for free. It's a nice little thank you if you enjoy the show. We'd really appreciate it.

And most of all, we'd really appreciate you just looking at this little bit of art that we've created lately. So that'd be great. So sign up, patreon.com slash littledunlumclub, or you can go via our website, littledunlumclub.com, of which you can go and buy new merch if you'd like to, as advertised on the main guts of the episode, Pete Hellyer now walking around genuinely with a From Before baseball cap on.

I really hope that he pops up in different – if you spot him on socials wearing it, let us know. Let him know. I hope I don't walk out to get lunch after this and find it in the bin down the end of West Street. I know. Flyer style. I hope that doesn't happen.

And we've got shirts smuggled back from Koh Samui and we don't even need to mention the stubby holders because they are absolutely pissing out the door at the moment. Yep. We'll be sold out of that soon.

So, yeah. Jump on all that sort of stuff. We'd love you to do it. In the meantime, officially thank you to everyone on Patreon.com slash LittleDumbClub. One by one. Not all of them today, but some of them today. Meantime, officially thank you to everyone on patreon.com. One by one.

Not all of them today, but some of them today. Yep. Some people that maybe we haven't talked about today. We took a rest last week. We did. It was great. It was good. No one noticed.

No one cared. No one commented on it. No. So it's back. By unpopular demand, it's back. By absolutely no demand whatsoever, it's back. By unpopular demand, it's back. By absolutely no demand whatsoever, it's back. Yes. By, yep, just it's back.

It's done it again and it's back. I mean, we didn't have people comment either way. We didn't have people go, oh, you didn't read names. But we also didn't have people go, thank God you didn't read names. Yes. So it's, you know, there was no real indication of what we should do. Actually, here's a call forward to maybe stuff that will go on Patreon in the future. Not that I forgot about it, but nothing ever happened from it. Someone that we know had a camera on the day that we did our 500 and 600 episodes back-to-back at the Athenaeum.

And I said to them, can you just document it and stuff? And they're like, okay. And I said, we'll give you a bit of it and stuff? And they're like, okay. And I said, we'll give you a bit of coin and whatever. And he's like, yeah, all right. And he did it. And then I never heard again anything about it. And the other day I hit him up and said, whatever happened to all that stuff? And he goes, it's right here and just sent it to me.

So it's just been sitting online for like two years. Right. Yeah. So we have all that sort of stuff. So we have our mate sort of stuff so um we have our mate sammy like i'm gonna sift through it and see what we can do with it and maybe i might sammy go on a drift on youtube go and give him a follow he's um he's already told us we've talked about him but he did all the doco making or filming and stuff like that editing

whatever um he's a fun follow on youtube he's a aussie that lives in Thailand good guy and he's already said to me like he's popped up on our like bits and pieces yep and he's like

man you got a lot of fucking listeners I've got all these people that I know that I never knew listened to your show they're like what the fuck

are you doing on Dum Dum I do like he's inserted himself into our taco quite a bit yeah yeah which I quite like

which is fine as he said at one point as he said, well, if you guys aren't going to be the narrators of it, I've got to fucking tell these cunts what's going on. I'm like, yeah, that's a fair point. So anyway, he's a good guy.

Thanks, Sammy. Thanks, Sammy. But thank you to all Patreon subscribers, including these ones. First cab off the rank this week. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Stuart Irvin. Irvin. E-R-V-I-N. Have you ever heard of such a thing?

No. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Never heard of this surname. No. I learn about so many surnames on this show. Irvin. E-R-V-I-N. Yeah, that's a strange one.

It's a, yeah. I don't know why you'd ever. You could have had any surname back generations ago. You could have picked any surname. Back generations ago, you could have picked any word. This hasn't been handed down from God. No. They've all been made up at some point. Who deliberately sat down with the quill when I'm choosing this one? Out of all the letters.

This is one that definitely every time he reads it out, people are going, oh, Irving? Yes. And he's having to go, no, no, no G and with an E. And they're like, what? Yeah, why? What? Just change it. What are going oh irving yes and he's having to go no no no g and with an e yeah and they're like what yeah why what just change it just change it to the other one yeah yeah or just go irving that's more fun that that raises less questions i mean you've picked a normal name stewart so your whole family's not completely fucked in the head yeah why couldn't you have are you going stewart or are you going Stewie or Stew?

I'm doing whatever I can to distract the fact that I've got the surname Irvin. Irvin. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going... You know those people that... Not that this is a guy, but you know those people that...

Do you reckon this is a generational thing? People that have middle names and they go by their middle names instead of their first name? Do you mean do you think anyone's do i think anyone's doing that anymore yes because i think that's a that's an old school i do it does feel quite old school i'm sure there are still some people that do it but my grandfather and then two of his kids grandfather and then two of his kids did it and in terms of the three kids two kids did it my dad didn't do it right and i would say the reason is because his middle name was keith yeah who the fuck wants to go with that i feel like it's a real showbiz thing too like a lot of times you look up an actor on their wikipedia because they pop into your head for whatever

reason and you'll find out that they're going by their – they're either going by their middle name or they're using their middle name as their surname. Like their surname is actually something different. I feel like that's really – it's a really common showbiz thing of like, okay, what have I got? These are the three names that I've got to work with, which is the combination that really pops the most out of like, you know,

out of what I've got, out of what i've got out of what god gave me yeah it's like um my name is stewart irvin but i'm in showbiz how about i go with uh my middle name hemsworth yeah like i was stewart hemsworth well i looked looked up Simon Pegg the other day, who Pegg is his stepfather's name. So his step... It's actually just an abbreviation for fuck up the arse. Yeah. Yeah.

Simon fuck up the arse. Yeah. That's what his stepfather did to him. This gives me an idea. But that's entering in a whole other... So he's got like his mum took the new husband's name. So then he's got even more to play with. He's sitting there getting into showbiz being like, fuck, I've got a lot to work with.

I've got a lot of options out in front of me. So your dad, Gary Dasolo, that's where you got yours from as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, my stepdad. Your stepdad. My mum remarried. Oh, right. My mum – my parents got divorced. My dad, my stepdad. Your stepdad. My mum remarried. Oh, right. My mum, my parents got divorced.

Yes. My dad, the famous architect. Yes. She divorced him. Yeah. And then she married the famous Italian Dolmio puppet. Right. It was my stepdad.

Right, right. And that puppet's name is Gary Dasolot. Gary Dasolot. Gary Dasolot. Yeah, yeah. It's an odd name. It stuck with me. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I thought that's an odd Anglo-Italian name. And that's why I don't really look like him. Right. Like I took the name. Right. But people see us walk down the street, they're like, oh, you don't really look. You don't look.

You don't look like felt. That greasy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You look more like an allsop. And your mouth. Funny story. Your mouth kind of moves properly, not just like flaps up and down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we're not genetically related. Right. Yeah, you know what? I never thought that Randy was your actual brother. No. Now that you say that. Who?

Yeah. Purple Rodney. Yeah. Not Randy the puppet, that's for sure. No. Because you wouldn't want to be billed as that because that would indicate that you're a puppet. No. When clearly that's not the case. Yeah. Yeahney purple rodney yeah yeah from not before i don't know um yeah i feel like something feels like we would have talked about it at some stage maybe you can work it out yeah a little easter egg yeah

can't spell everything out for you yeah yeah speaking of spelling i had to work out who spiro agni was through mad magazine you can work this out yeah. Speaking of spelling out. I had to work out who Spiro Agnew was through Mad Magazine. You can work this out. E-R-V-I-N. Yeah. Thanks, Stuart. Thanks, Stuart. Thanks, Ervo. Thanks, Ervin.

Yeah. If you want to change your name to Daslow, feel free, I reckon. Or Dolmio. Stuart Dolmio. Tommy Dolmio. Oh, you're all going to change your name now. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

That's good. Yeah. He can be Stuart Daslow and you can be Tommy Dolmio. Oh, you're going to change your name now. Yeah. Yeah, okay. That's good. Yeah. He can be Stuart Daslow and you can be Tommy Dolmio. That's good. You just keep changing it to vaguely Italian names. Yeah. So, like, that'd be good if someone protests against you. Dad, I can't believe you changed your name to this ethnic name.

You're not ethnic. Okay, I'll change my name to Tommy Dolmio. Yeah. Because that's just a source. It's not actually a person. Tommy Dominoes. Tommy Dominoes. Oh, that's just a source. It's not actually a person. Tommy Dominoes. Tommy Dominoes.

Oh, even more insulting. That's even worse. Yeah. Dominoes. Thanks, Stuart. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Chris Wilcox. Okay. See, that's a good porn name.

Wilcox. Yeah. Because they always, they have those sort porn name. Will Cox. Yeah. Because they always have those sort of male ones. But you mean the full name is Will Cox? No. Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah. Yeah, that's even better.

William Cox. William Cox. Will Cox. Yeah. Because they'll have like – there's a porn star called Randy Spears, which he's got it beautifully both ways. Great. Yeah.

Girls just have attractive, horny names, but the guys have got to have some. Guys have to be like a little pun. Yeah, there's got to be some reference to their dick. There's a fine line between male porn star and drag queen because drag queen names are always kind of punny and you sort of go, oh, that's clever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gary Dick, that sort of thing. Yeah, again, that could be either one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That could be a drag queen. Gary Dick. Gary Dick. Yeah. That sort of thing. Yeah. Clever puns. Again, that could be either one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That could be a drag queen. Gary Dick. Gary Dick. What was the name of the drag queens that you were watching? You went to Coastal Moon.

Oh, the Divas Cabaret. You saw some shows. They don't really get a shout out by name. Is drag queens a term anymore or not? Are you not allowed to say that? I think it's the term. It's a term? Yeah.

It's still the current term? Okay. I think it's cross-dresser is not au fait. Okay. You're not really allowed to say that? I think it's the term. It's a term? Yeah. It's still the current term? Okay. I think it's cross-dresser is not au fait. Okay. You're not really allowed to use that one. Right. No, drag queens is the term, I believe. Let me know.

Let me know if I'm wrong, but yeah. Chris Wilcox. Wilcox for money. I don't know if they do it anymore. I don't know if that's a modern- day porn star thing that they go with those those names it feels like a very like when i was growing up like a 90s 2000s sort of thing yeah i yeah i yeah i'd assume not are there but yeah i don't know is there the same level of like in like kind of famous porn stars because the way most people consume it is just through one of the like you know red tube because the way most people consume it

is just through one of the like, you know, Red Tube or whatever. It's all very, it's all kind of a bit more anonymous. It's not studio anymore. They used to have like studios and stuff. And also I remember- You're not getting DVDs

that have like a person's like name on the front. Box covers. That kind of stuff, yeah. Yeah, what they call the box covers. You're just loading up whatever fucking random four minute clip. Yeah, yeah. No, I remember back in the day them talking about it and it was like,

even back in the day I remember the guys weren't paid very well. But it's like, well, you get another reward, I guess, to it. Yeah. And no one's buying the videos for the guys. You just need a hard dick. You need a Will Cox. But, I mean, the guys have to be able to perform on cue in a much different way. Yes.

Which is a pretty big ask. Absolutely. A skilled profession, but it was not rewarded in the same way that guys are not looking at other guys and going, I'll buy this video because Chris Wilcox can definitely keep it up. Yeah. It's like, well, I don't give a fuck. Yeah. Whatever.

Wow, he came right when he said he was going to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's incredible. Yeah, exactly. That's made me horny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basic competence in your job gets my dicky hard. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I want those big bobs, thanks. That's what I need. So, Chris Wilcox, I don't know. I mean, you could – what I'm trying to warn you, I guess, about is that you've got a great name for the biz. I just don't know. I wouldn't – if I was your your careers advisor i'm not sure if i'd point you that way i'm not sure the money's in the business anymore i'm not sure if it was ever in the business but particularly now i don't i don't think there is so um i don't know i don't know if you i mean it is one of the few professions where you change your name to sort of sort in you don't you don't

change your name to gary numbers to get into fucking H&R Block, do you? Right, there's no other. Yeah. Yeah. You could- That would be good if you change your name to Gary Numbers to work at H&R Block. That would be good. If every job had some equivalent of that, it had to be a little pun that described what

you were doing. Yeah. Man, I want to- I really- it's my dream to be a lumberjack, but I just- I can't do anything. My name doesn't really lend itself to- Yeah. There's no little puns that I can turn it into. Yeah. I want to work as an accountant. My name is? Richard Sucker.

John Seven. That's good. Yeah, that's good. All right. Thanks, Chris. Good luck. Getting it hard for dough. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber.

Well, I think this is a person that was on part of the Coast of Melbourne International Podcast Festival. So they've just waited basically to come to the festival nearly and then sign up, done double whammy, gone to the festival and become a Patreon. Great. I wonder if anyone got Wi-Fi on their plane on the way over

and used that plane Wi-Fi to sign up to Patreon well actually once I announce the name I will talk about something that

reminds me of thank you very much Patreon subscriber Amy Greenfield okay yeah she was I believe she was

at the festival which I you know I love the psychology of the people. As we found out, about 75%, I think, of people were coming to their first Coastal Million podcast festival, which I found weird in my head. I just thought everyone was just coming from five years ago or whatever. It wasn't the case. So thank you to all the people that did that big leap of faith and came over, including Amy Greenfield.

Someone who I actually meant to talk about while we were over there was that there's a couple of – well, one, Brett Blake is the only four-time guest. Yep, yep. There was a couple of – there was a set of brothers that came over that are three-timers. Okay. Right? Been to three of them.

But what I love about it is one of the guys is a listener of the show, but the other guy is not a listener of the show. Just wants to hang out with his brother. Just wants to come to time with his brother. And so he comes over, watches all the shows, but then has never listened to another episode. Not inspired. No.

Yep. But has been to three festivals, watched all the shows within the festivals. But what I like particularly is like, he went to like, you know, a couple in a row. But now there's been that gap of five years. So it's just been like, I guess I'll see what these cunts have been up to in their life he probably barely even remembers much from like

the one five years ago yeah you know what I mean enough to be like yeah that's worth going to again yeah what happened in those shows were they any good

it's just like he went to the first one had no idea what the fuck we were talking about was trying to make up in his head what was going on then had to do

all the hard work again we've got there and then five years later he's had to add up all the things that have happened in between. Well, then again, maybe it's just maybe I'm thinking too much of our show. Maybe he's got there and gone, yeah, sounds about the fucking same as five years ago. That makes sense to me.

I also – he would be in the camp of people who were like, let's just fucking get this shit wrapped up. This is just the hour that I've got to sit here. I'll sit up the back near the bar and just drink. We're going to dinner after this. Yeah, every now and then there's something that is kind of non-contextual enough that makes – that's funny, that is whatever. Let's get out of here, boys.

Yeah. Yeah. Like there's a part of a video, like bonus video that we've put out on Patreon where Sammy, our guy, I said to him, oh, what do you think – you know, we did a live killed it you know it was it was a really good live show and just said what do you think of the show and he just goes um and i'm like fuck man come on yeah jesus christ you're used to performing in front of the camera yeah exactly you're a performer you're a youtuber guy yeah and also we're paying you to do this yeah at the very least yeah getting no i

respect the honesty i respect the honesty we were getting laughs the whole time it was like we're hard on ourselves i'll say like that was a rough one that was i felt like that was a hard one this was a good one yeah fucking hell anyway anyway amy greenfield i hope you enjoyed yourself in kosamui yeah at the podcast festival. Yeah. I don't know if I, yeah, I don't know if I recall Amy. I don't know if I met her. I mean, I would have met her when we were doing the check-in stuff. I remember the names.

I'm getting, you know, I'm getting better at remembering names just through the check-in. Yeah. So, I have no, if you put five people in front of me right now and said, which one's Amy Greenfield? I have no idea. No offence, Amy, but the name stuck with me. The name stuck out. Stuck with me. Right. This is going to rule if she writes in and she's like, yeah? I have no idea. No offence, Amy, but the name stuck with me. The name stuck out. Stuck with me. This is going to rule if she writes in and she's like, yeah, it wasn't there.

Oh, yeah. That's the best possible outcome. Actually. You've Mandela affected yourself into thinking that Amy Greenfield was at the Costa Mui Podcast Festival. There was a couple of no-shows at the Costa Mui International Podcast Festival. Yeah. People who literally just didn't turn up to the festival.

Just didn't even say, I'm not coming or anything. Full respect for that. But that's the dream. Anytime I've had to cancel something for whatever reason, that I'm not going to get that. I've done that on the fly on a trip, decided that I actually want to go somewhere else. And at the last minute, I'm like, I'm not going to go to that place. I've got that on the fly on a trip, decided that I actually want to go somewhere else. And like at the last minute, I'm like, I'm not going to go to that place.

I've got the hotel booked. I'm not going to fucking bother. Although actually, no, I did that in Japan. I changed my plans and just got a different hotel in a different place and thought, oh, well, that's, yeah, I'm not going to fucking hassle them. And then they started hassling me. They're like, where are you? And I'm like, well, I mean. See, that's, yeah, I'm not going to fucking hassle them. And then they started hassling me. They're like, where are you? And I'm like, well, I mean. See, that's old school.

I think that's an old school thing. That is old school, which I kind of, I could sort of understand in a sense, but I was a bit like, I was like, oh, well, maybe I could have hit them up and gotten some sort of money back. I was like, I was just trying to fucking stay out of your hair and not bother you. I didn't hit up kids. Because anytime you do do that, you feel like you just get someone on the phone who's like,

you know, I've had things where I'm like, oh, my flight got cancelled. I'm now coming in tomorrow. And they're like, great. Yeah. I don't care. Yeah. Get here whenever the fuck you want. Yeah.

No, totally. Totally. Yeah, hotels are a little bit like that. You're running a hotel. You're dealing with people that are actually in there. Hotels are a little bit like that. When are you planning on actually checking in? It's like, when do I fucking check in?

What do you care? Are you going to have a special, like, are you going to put someone at reception at 11pm just because I've said, like, someone has to be at reception the whole time. No, but it's the opposite. It's like, hey, when's your flight get in? When do you get here? And you're like, oh, like, 11am? And they're like, check-in's not until 2.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, well, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, well, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that on the website. I thought maybe you were asking me because it means that you can sort of – Yep. You can get me in a bit. There is some wiggle room.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like now you're making me – and they're like, oh, actually, you can't get into – they're making you sound like you've been demanding by telling them that. Look, shout-out to the Stay who are our hosts at the Coastal Women International Podcast Festival 2024, and they were great and whatever, but that was a massive fucking pain in the asses. They made me find out when everyone was checking in.

Oh, yeah. And I was like, fucking why? You've got three on the counter. Yeah. Look, lovely people, great place to stay. More than happy for you to recommend it as a place. Yeah. On the beach, it's a, I wouldn't say budget

because budget makes it sound like it's no good. It was good. Yeah. But it was a great I wouldn't say budget because budget makes it sound like it's no good. It was good. Yeah. But it was a great price for what it is. Yeah. Great price for what it is on the beach. Great location. Great location.

Yeah. All those sort of things. All the reasons why it was chosen to start with. So that's a recommendation in itself. But for me to have to fucking find out when 150 people were rocking up one by one, it was a pain in the ass. And when some people are just like, they're doing what we're talking about with the hotels. They're like, I'm not fucking telling you.

What business is it of yours? What I will say is I recommend it as a cheap budget, great price stay on the beach in a wonderful island. What I wouldn't recommend it for is if you're going to organise your own festival where you're pretending to be a recycling company and you're rocking up with 150 people that you don't know, I wouldn't recommend it as strong to put there. What would you recommend? Good question.

What is the place that fulfils that criteria? Well, you know what is great is when you turn up early somewhere just because that's when your flight's gotten in and, you know, you're like, yeah, yeah, we'll leave our bags here and then we'll go get lunch and then by the time we come back, the room will be ready. Yeah. And they just, without you even asking, they just hit you with a,

oh, that room's actually ready right now. Oh. Nothing better. Yeah. Because I feel like any time you chase it, you never get it. But if you just show up and you're prepared, you're like maybe you've got something else to go to or whatever and they're just straight away ready for it.

It's like, oh, that is the fucking bit. Especially if it's like four hours before church, if it's significantly early. Yeah. Brett Blake and I, we got a room when we came back. When we were flying out of Costa Mui, we had a couple of hours in Chowing Beach

and we just went you know what let's just go halves in a room oh yeah just for that four hour spell which I don't usually do

but it was like oh fuck it instead of going up and you know trying to scab into someone's pool or whatever we just hired a room

and said we're only going to be there four hours you can fucking unsell it at two o'clock we're just going to if there four hours. You can fucking unsell it at two o'clock. Yeah. We're just going to,

if you can let us in early, at like whatever time it was, 11. Well, we know we're checking in early, but we will buy this room. They probably, a lot of places do, I don't know if Thailand necessarily does this as much,

but a lot of places in the world, they do have a thing where you can just pay to use the pool. And I love the idea that they've just got like a poster behind them that says pool use $10. Yeah. And you're just like,

yeah, yeah, we'll take the room, $100. And they're just like moving their head in front of the poster. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, na, na, na, cool, get the room. We went to a beach like that where we went to a place called Malibu Beach, weirdly, in Copenhagen. And you have to walk – the way you get in there, you walk past this resort and you walk past this big sign that says, do not get in our pool. The fine is $10,000. And you go, oh, wow, okay, all right. And you look around and you go past this big sign and it says do not get in our pool oh yeah the fine is 10 000 baht and you go oh wow okay all right and you look around you're like who's enforcing that and then you walk literally four meters past that sign and it says do not get in

this pool fine 20 000 baht and you're like fuck depending on what angle you jump in the pool the guy's security is like which sign did you see you saw both of them yeah 30 000 sorry to say which sign did you enter right in, yeah, yeah. You saw both of them? Yeah. 30,000, I'm sorry to say. Which sign? Did you enter right in the middle of those signs? Because if you see both of them at the same time, that's 30. Yeah. That's 30. Did you just get in the room for four hours?

Because this is something that checking in at a hotel that just, I, for whatever reason, have the shortest fuse for. They're having to sit there and fill out the little fucking form. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And especially especially when if you've booked it through like when you've booked it and then they've given you this form and it's like put your phone number here put your email here and it's like you have all this yeah i did this on you've got all this information yeah i don't get it especially when it's like you've got off the plane you're like just give me the fucking key like being talked through all this shit and i know having to sign this and sign that it's like this form's just going straight in

the bin give me that little cordial thing that you give us yeah and then let's fucking move on i did a couple in japan that were like checking online and then your key is just like an app on the phone so you're you're walking in that front door you're talking to no one you're talking to no one yeah straight in the front door up to your room ready to go no one even needs to give you a key that's the fucking best that's good i never had that before um no it wasn't like that it was uh in this day and age it's like turning up to the and then you know they're like putting forms away and grabbing other stuff and it's like what is going on back there? And also checking out.

Mate, there's nothing in the minibar. Why am I checking out? Yeah, they're like just being able to like the little bin in the lobby where you just dump your key. That's the best. This annoys me, but I understand why. But it still annoys me. We got that thing and I walked up and I said, we got that room. I walked up to the front desk

and i said where we want four hours i'll i've seen what the price is online i'll just give you cash for cheaper and they go no the price is actually more than that in person yeah okay so i'm i'm gonna get on a go to here yeah and i'm gonna buy it cheaper in front of you on the app yeah and then you're gonna to get less money because they're going to take 30% of this. Are we all good with that? But a receptionist is like, I don't know, man. I'm just doing what they fucking tell me.

I know, and that's what I'm saying. I understand it. I can get the CEO down here if you really want. I know, but I'm saying, well, we all should understand this. If I understand it, you should understand it. Your boss should understand it. Give us understand it, you should understand it. Your boss should understand it. Yeah. Give us a bit of fucking wriggle room.

Yeah. I want to put more money in your pocket. Yeah. In fact, that's what happened with our, you know, with the stay. That was me going to them and saying, I'm not going through Expedia or whatever. Let's do this direct. I want you guys to have more money this way. Yeah.

So everyone's happy that way. Yeah. Anyway. Fuck everyone, I guess is my point. Thanks, Amy. Thanks, Amy Greenfield, for being part of all of that. Yeah. Yeah, I don't remember who you are, but thank you for coming.

I haven't had a complaint about – I don't think we've had any complaints. Still really holding out hope that she wasn't actually there, that we just went on that whole tirade for literally no good reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Actually we just went on that whole tirade for literally no good reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And actually, the people who didn't rock up, let us know why you didn't come. Yeah. That's actually, I do want to know that.

Yeah. Why didn't you come? Because remember the first time we ever went, we were reminded of this the other day. Mm. Someone sent us a message on the day. Yeah. Saying, oh, my cat knocked over a glass of water onto my passport. Yeah.

And now it's a bit smudgy and so now I can't come to Koh Samui. And you're like, this is not real. This is not true. I'd buy it. I don't know. I want to believe it. Yeah. I don't know.

I remembered it wrong. I think we exaggerated straight away and went, the cat pissed on the passport so he couldn't come. We're like, that's not real. Oh, yeah, we just made it up. Yeah. We made up that yeah but let us know the no shows let us know thanks thanks amy uh thank you very much to

patreon subscriber lauren bradbury lauren bradbury that's right tommy lauren bradbury bradbury yeah yeah interesting um a uh uh maybe the a member of the bradbury family that yep the famous yeah no you're right yep i'm liking where this is going yeah no that's all i had a member of the bradbury family is my guess yep yep sure is i've been doing this a while and that's the that's the feeling i get off the base this is someone's name this. This is part of the name they have. They're part of the family that have that name. Yep. Yep.

That's my gut feeling. This is like the Amy Greenfield definitely being in Koh Samui. Right, right. I don't know if I want to back this. Yeah, I don't want to back this 100%. They mightn't have turned up to the Bradbury family reunion and so they're out of it. Yep.

They've been kicked out of it, mate. Yep. But the famous Bradbury. The famous Brad of it. Yeah. They've been kicked out of it maybe. Yeah. But the famous Bradbury. The famous Bradbury family. Yes. Well, the famous Bradbury in Australia would be Stephen Bradbury. Yes. Who infamously and famously, I don't know if you can do both,

everyone else in the Winter Olympics that was doing the speed skating fell over. Yep. And he didn't. Yep. And because he was the only one who didn't fall over, even though he was coming last one who didn't fall over even though he was coming last he won yep and for some reason australia takes that as a great bit of pride that he was the worst skater but because he wasn't completely fucked in the head and fall over

he won and that's i don't know what the lesson is there but for some reason australia thinks that's a great lesson or a great thing of australia i think i think it says something about like you watch the olympics and you're seeing people at this like incredibly high level in their field doing stuff that you could never do like that's kind of part of the appeal right is like you're just watching these like insane feats of human strength and willpower and fitness and whatever else you want to call it. But then a Stephen Bradbury moment, anyone can watch that and go, that could be me. I'm shit.

All of a sudden. I'd be coming last in that race. Yes, exactly. All of a sudden, this isn't completely unobtainable. Right. That's like a beautiful metaphor for like sometimes in life, something good happens to you because just everyone else fucked up. Yeah yeah you get a job because everyone else shit their pants in the job interview yeah i i designed his autobiography all right when i was uh working at a you mean the cover

no the whole thing yeah the the cover the back cover the ins the insides. You did the graphic design for it. Yes, but I also did all the text. The layout. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. And then I met him afterwards. And, you know, people say never meet your heroes. You could also say never meet someone who you don't really –

Type setting for. Yeah. Who wasn't really your hero. Yep. Who – Just a guy. Did a thing once. The stakes are a your hero. Yep. Who did a thing once. The stakes are a lot lower.

Yeah. I got to say, being in a situation where you're at a party or whatever and you're about to meet someone who you really don't feel one way or the other about, you're like, you know what, either I'll have a great time with this person and it might inspire me to like re-evaluate their work and them or they're going to be a complete cunt. Yeah. And I don't really care. Yeah.

It's not really ruining anything for me. Yeah. But I've got a great yarn out of it. Yeah. Yeah. Someone coming towards you who you recognize, but you're also like, I don't really care about this person either way. Yeah.

Well. I'm excited to find out whether they're cool or not. Yeah. Oh, well, I can let you know the answer with this particular individual. With Mr. Bradbury. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Coming in last.

It was coming in last in all the people I probably met that year, I reckon. Right. Yeah. Okay. None of them fell over. No, none of the other people who were actually cool people fell over. Yeah. And he got jettisoned to the front of the queue.

Everyone kept their feet and he just stayed in last, I reckon. Me just saying about job interviews before made me think of this i was i caught up uh for lunch with a friend the other day and they were telling me that they had gone for this job that they had applied for even though they were like you know not that they were like kind of overreaching but they were like i'll put in for this and just kind of see what happens and And then they make it down to the final two. And they'd had the final interview and they were like, they really was like a good position and they really wanted it.

And while we were having lunch, they were just like constantly looking at their phone being like, I'm sorry, I just like, I think today's the day I'm out here. So like if I get a text or a call, I got to take it. I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's fine. And then we walk out of where we were having lunch and they're like, oh, do you want to get a drink? And I was like, yeah, I'm not drinking at the moment,

but sure, I'll come with you. We'll get a soda or whatever, and we're walking, and then their phone rings, and they're like, oh, sorry, I've got to take this, and they go into an alleyway, and I'm really excitedly watching them being like, this would be great if I'm here for the moment that they find out that they've got the job. I was like, I'm going to have to get a drink.

We're going to have to get on it. Like, this will be so exciting. I was like really pumping myself up. And then I just immediately see the body language and I'm like, oh, now I'm just sitting with this guy drowning in sorrows that he didn't get the job. Now I'm going to find out why. This is what it's like in this game.

And he was like remembering things like over the course of that. And we were already on our way to get the drink so i couldn't pull out at that point and go like nah i got work to do like i was already committed fuck it was a drag but that moment where i thought i was maybe just gonna see him light up and then get to have the moment of being like yeah i was here when you got the job yeah yeah yeah i've had that in in the past with my wife where it's like it turns into, oh, yeah, no, you're right. This is going to be really great if you get this.

And then it turns into, you know what? Everyone's kind of fucked in the head. Like it's just a fact. Like all the people that decide these things, they couldn't give a fuck and a lot of them aren't good at their job and it actually means nothing. Well, this was kind of an easy one to like you know talk around because i was like hey you you know you put in for it without the like without really having the experience yeah like you knew it was above you and you still made it to the top two that's pretty

fucking awesome yep it was like yeah yeah yeah no i get it like you know literally anyone would have had more experience in that role than me so like, like, it's fine. But, yeah. What about this? Stephen Bradbury, the only gold medalist that could have had his race turn up on Australia's Funniest Home Videos. Yeah. If only they'd been filming it. Yeah. They could – you could literally just put that on the show. And you're just funneling tapes from people, like, falling over,

falling off their horse in the equestrian events. I mean, like, get the sound effects going to this one. I think that would be genuinely funny if they didn't even make a big deal of it. They just stuck it in the middle. They put Stephen Bradbury's race where everyone falls over and he wins. And they're doing the caption for him. They're doing the voiceover for him going, Oh, I'm a bit shit at speed skating.

Look at this. I'm coming last like a fucking moron. That's the point. Oh, well, I might kill myself with this skate. Pull it off

and fucking stab myself in the throat. Oh, hang on a minute. Look at these fucking idiots. because there's like, you're getting to use a lot of the Hallmark sound effects.

The Fred Flintstone running on the spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The like, slipping over the you're getting to use all the fucking big ones yeah big one where they put the fucking thing down on the drum yeah this should be every night during the

olympics there should just be a special on after the main coverage ends yeah that's just the blooper reel that's just the like a half hour people who like fell over people running into the pommel horse yeah basically the you know the way wide world of Sports used to open, they used to do a bit of that. Oh, yeah. Sports bloopers. Yeah. Put a bit of like the Dire Straits walk of life over the top of it.

That was good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That was good. Well, that's a good idea. That's a good idea for the Olympics coverage. Yeah. Well, thanks, Lauren Bradbury.

Thanks, Lauren. Just one more this week, guys. All right. Let's do it. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Oh, it's very similar to the last one. Oh, really? Thank you very much to Bradbury Comedy.

Once again, it coming in last. All the other names fell over. Yeah, yeah. And then this one's all of a sudden the best one. It's coming right at the last moment. Yeah. Beating four other names. Yeah.

Despite not being very good. Yeah, but I mean, it's up against like Irvin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Like this bit isn't very good at all. No. Because it stuck around. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Didn't fall over. Yeah. And was still there at the end. All of a sudden it's a gold medal name. Yeah. Yeah. And officially as we, every week. All of a sudden, it's a gold medal name. Yeah. Yeah. And officially, every week, you go back and check, every week as always, the last name is the best and funniest name by far.

Yes. And everyone loves it the most. Yep. And again, that's what's happened this week. It's happened once again. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. Really makes you think, doesn't it? Not really, but we're here now. All right, guys. Thank you for listening. LittleDumbDumbClub.com. Get a ticket to come and see us in Sydney, July the 20th.

Get onto the Patreon, get all the bonus content, the video stuff from Koh Samui. Thank you for listening and we will see you next time. See you, mate.