The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 719 - Dave O'Neil & Josh Earl

Episode Date: July 17, 2024

This week we're joined by DAVE O'NEIL and JOSH EARL! Tommy's found some Patreon feedback, Dave's got more corporate gig stories for us and would you believe it - Karl's been burned by someone and he's not taken it well. Is this the episode that finally gets us booted off the podcasting airwaves? Will we be working at a Mexican restaurant next week? Comedy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Josh Earle and Dave O'Neill. If you are listening to this hot off the presses, it is time to get your tickets to come and see us in Sydney this Saturday, July the 20th. Carl, big show, great guests locked in. It is going to be a lot of fun. The return to Sydney, come and see us, Sydney, New South Wales and surrounding areas. It'll be a belter, plus we've got plenty of merch there on sale. We've got all the new From Before range, hats, shirts, and the new stubby holders. Yes. If you don't come to that, if you're not in the region, of course, that is all available

online at littledumbdumbclub.com as well. Yes. You can also find a link there to our Patreon. You can support the show, get bonus episodes every week, and you might be merely an hour away from hearing your name get read out at the end of this episode. We will talk to you more then in Talking Dumb Dumb, but until then, enjoy this new episode with Josh Earle and Dave O'Neill. Hey, mates.

Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow. I'm with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, Dickhead. And joining us today, two very special guests. Stall words. Shut up.

Two absolute rock dogs, you might say. Couldn't find anyone else. Shut up. Josh Earl and Dave O'Neill. Yes. Hello, muff divers. This better be good. Both these guests have insisted we do the podcast

instead of us just trashing open micers before the show. It was very fun. Dave's got to go and buy food, he says. I want to talk about cruise ships more. I've never done a cruise ship, as we know. As we know. This is a nightclub on the actual cruise ship, Dave. You'd be able to go, hey.

You'd be able to go hey you'd be able to up to level 3 as we know because that's canon in a little dum-dum club Dave O'Neill's never done a cruise ship famously well famously

because I said when I went on have you been paying attention the one time they had a clip of some guy coming off a cruise ship and saying

oh it was awful it was the worst thing ever and the host goes Tom goes so what happened on the cruise ship? Ed Cavill comes in. Dave O'Neill was the entertainment. And I go, excuse me, I've never been on a cruise ship.

And Kitty Fleming goes, you got really angry. I said, yeah, I did. There was no jokes. That's a good joke. It like plays as it would be real. I don't know if you've been in comedy before, Dave. I know. But that plays as right.

I don't know. It was a red flag to me This is a real Christmas Carol moment Where it's like, you're saying This is how people feel when you do crowd work to them Yeah, it's true They feel, you know Where were you sitting? Were you in front of Ed when he said it?

Yeah, yeah So you had to turn around You can't win a fight when you've got to turn around I did, I turned around You've got the back of your head to the camera Oh, this will be funny I don't know, but they left it in the edit. I can't remember.

And so do you think that's why you've never done a cruise? Because you've said, I've never done a cruise. No, P&O's gone, no, we're not booking him. No, that's why he's never been back on that show. It hurt him two ways. Can't do the show again, can't do a cruise. That's probably why I've ruined two career opportunities. The head of P&O

Tuning in to his favourite Monday night activity Oh my god You've offended Tom Gleiser And the Fairstaff on ship He's knocking my lifestyle This is right Who is this fat guy

What the hell Right We're not getting him on Anymore And then No fat guys got on Because Oaks He stopped doing it

Maybe they just said No fat guys We can't remember his name Just no And then no fat guys got on because Oaksie stopped doing it. Maybe they just said no fat guys. We can't remember his name. Just no fat Aussie. No fat people on boats anymore. That's not true. Ben Lomas goes on. No cruise ship has ever said no fat people.

Oh, true. Sorry. Imagine if they said no tattoos. It'd be, oh my God. Yeah. Is that what it's like? Well, how do you know? How do you know?

They treat it like an onsen. How do you know? I'm the only comic here who's done cruises, I know. A lot of tattoos? Yes, a lot of tattoos. A lot of people with very colourful drinks, like slashing drinks. And a lot of people with, they've all got like the one t-shirt, like Kevin's 50th or whatever.

Oh, yeah. A lot of Oakleys perched on top of their head, I imagine. A lot of braids. A lot of braids, right? They get off the ship and they get their hair braided and then get back on. Oh, wow. Just getting off to do the braiding. Well, there's other cultural events.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, most of them are just getting braids and henna tattoos. Right. Do they go off onto those islands and then buy something they can't bring back on the boat? Well, they actually stop in Burnie, my hometown. Wow, what a cruise. The cruise goes there. What are they buying there?

West Braid's more Braden. They go to the KFC, which is central in the town. Two KFCs now. That's a big news. Dad's been telling me, two KFCs. Does Jetstar do a cruise ship now or something? Where do they go from Burnie to where, then? I don't know.

They just stop. Is Burnie on the water? Penguin. Penguin. Yeah. I know nothing about it. Burnie, that's where they keep I don't know. They just stop. It's burning on the water. Penguin. Yeah. I know nothing about it. Bernie, that's where they keep. Davenport? What's wrong with Davenport?

They don't go to Davenport. It's where the Spirit of Tasmania docks. Oh, they've got their competition. Yeah. Can't come here. Well, you know I did that gig in Bernie, which was horrific because the captain got sacked two weeks beforehand because he took out, and he was with a shipping company that went... Hey, you did a gig to what?

What's this gig? It was for toll shipping for sailors in Burnie. Right. So you weren't on the boat, though? You were just doing it on land? Yeah, in the motel there. And they... The captain...

Classic O'Neill gig in a motel. In a motel, staying with the guys. So when I died, the gig, I had to see them all at breakfast the next day. It was awful. And the boat just went in a straight line from Burnie to Melbourne,

Melbourne to Burnie. But on this day, he'd bought a house in Penguin. So he turned right out of the port. He wanted to see what his house looked like from the ocean. What? It's a true story.

What? And then he hit a rock and it started taking on water. And they had to tow the boat to Newcastle. He took a whole cruise ship to go and see his new house. No, it's a freight ship. I want to see what my house looks like from the water. It's a freight ship.

It's just got cargo on it. It's a freight ship. I want to see what people who are on this route when no boat goes are going to think of my house. You just imagine the other sailors going, are we turning right? So many people hit rocks there. My mum's ex-boyfriend did this big thing.

He'd like raising money for charity for like six months. He was going to sail around Tasmania in his boat. And then the first like two hours hit a rock and was stranded out there. And then like going, all right, well, have you got water? No, I didn't bring any water with me. I'm like, hang on, you've got to do this for 14 days. What the fuck? I'm surrounded by this.

What an idiot. Yes, he was. So with this one, they had to tow the boat to Newcastle, get a million dollars damage. And so the guy organising the gig goes, so I'm going to let the boys know. We had to sack the captain. He was very popular.

We've had to sack him, but I'm going to let the boys know that he's been let go and then bring you on. Yes. I said, please don't. But he did it anyway. Oh, man. And then he said, no swearing, because it's a corporate event. Bernie sailors, they wouldn't like swearing.

Gee, that old captain's a bit of a cunt. In the end, they were heckling me, and the guy was swearing. Fucking get off. He said, no swearing. That was awful so then back to the motel oh he wouldn't he wouldn't look at me afterwards you know what you do you know they'll look at you or talk to you yeah so then i had to stay in the motel and then then you got to loiter around and get paid oh yeah no it was it wasn't cash unfortunately i had to sleep overnight and then just see them at breakfast.

It's like, oh, so awful. Wasn't there a point when we were in our little stretch of getting Kappa to travel to gigs in the most fucked way possible and we had a show in Tasmania coming up and there was talk of, like, what if Kappa got a jet ski? Oh, yes! From Melbourne to Tasmania. And we looked it up and, like, someone did it

and they, like, got caught in a storm and had to, like, stop on some little fucking rock island. Yeah, King Island or Flinders Island. There's a tiny little island in the middle, isn't there? It's just a big rock. As Joshua will tell you, it's a very rough patch of water. Yeah, I was about to say that. I thought no one wants to hear that.

No, it is. It is. It's very rough. How could it not be? We were on that Spirit of Tasmania. Yeah, but not all water's like that. In year 10, we went on the Spirit of Tasmania. It was bloody water's like that Yeah In year 10 we went on the Spirit of Tasmania It was bloody

Going back and forth It was awful Yep Yeah Bad patch Bad patch Bad patch of water man What a shame

Yeah What a shame that we didn't talk Kappa Into doing it You don't I mean even if it's not a bad patch It's getting someone on a On a fucking jet ski For 16 hours

We just traumatised 12 hours Kappa dies on the trip And. We just traumatised. 12 hours. Kappa dies on the trip and we're just traumatised any time Tasmania comes up. We're like, we've got to shut this chat down. I can't talk about it.

Fuck, he's running late. Fucking Kappa. Fucking Kappa. In the tux. Every time we do a live pod and we book a guest, it's like, how are we getting there?

Are you picking us up in a limo or a jet ski? Just seeing those, what are they called when the people come and rescue people that are stranded in the ocean? Yeah. Just seeing that tube kind of pull up a man and he's in a full tuxedo. Yeah, awesome.

Top hat, pierced ear. He's still got the full makeup on. Oh, boy. Well, speaking of doing that with Kappa, we of course did that by fundraising money to bring him to the UK. Yes. Another way that the Little Dumb Dumb Club, we of course did that by fundraising money to bring him to the UK. Yes. Another way that the Little Dumb Dumb Club is, of course, on Patreon. As you guys both know, Josh, you have a Patreon.

Are you guys subscribers? No. We've got lots of bonus content on you guys. What? I heard there's video as well. There's a thing on Patreon where you can see when people have gotten off there, like they do a little exit survey. Yep. Which I kind of, I went and had a look at the other day because I was like, worth checking in on just to make sure if there's anything, you know, if there's anything massive that people are unhappy with.

And it's generally, it's all just like what you'd expect is just people being like. Can't afford it. You know, yeah, my financial situation's changed, which is, you know, fair enough. Fair enough. But I found there were three, three that stuck out to me. Oh, awesome. As interesting reasons for getting off the little dum-dum club Patreon. First of all, too much vaccine talk would prefer comedy instead.

Oh. How much vaccine talk do you guys do? Behind the paywall, you guys are all talking vaccines, are you? I don't know if you ever signed up to pay for it. No, I'm not anti-vaccine, I'm anti-lockdown. Get it right. I got vaccinated.

Get it right. He was on the murder as well, wasn't he? He got the first one. No. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, he was.

Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Yeah, anyway. I mean, were we ever talking about the vax that much? I don't know. I don't know.

Anyway. Maybe just me. Too much for this guy. It's like, you know, it's lockdown. I it's locked down i guess we didn't have that that much to talk about exactly yeah i mean getting the jab three weeks later and still just like that's your only thing to talk about i don't know maybe who knows it's all a fucking black hole to me that time you know yeah exactly here's another one bought it as a

gift from my partner and we split up and i don't find the show funny. That's good. Now that's good. This I reckon we could find the other side. Like if you're someone, let us know. If you listen, if you're a fan, if your partner bought you a Patreon subscription as a gift and you're now split up, let us know if you've gotten back on there under your own name.

Did you sign up on your own name? Was the content good enough to make you want to spend your own money on it? Yeah. That's great. That's a great present as well, though. It is a good present. But also, very funny of this guy to bother letting us know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. I love it. You reckon it was a girl? I reckon it was definitely a girl got it for him. What did it say? Is it a man or a woman? You don't see the name.

It's like anonymous. That could be a woman writing that. Yeah. I don't know. Something about in my head, I assume it's a guy. I don't know why I think't know. Something about in my head I assume it's a guy. I don't know why I think that. The way you told it I thought it was a guy, but now that you guys said that, it's obviously a girl.

Yeah. Well, let us know. I'd love to find the other half of this equation. Because it totally- That has happened a couple of times in history where there's been a girl into our show and then the boyfriend's not very interested. Not for me.

He's like, wow, this is so weird. That's that's unusual yeah because it's totally a thing too where like you've you've bought the subscription as a gift for your partner you break up you're having this fucking horrible time yeah awful time trying to get through it and then you know you you just it's been a month you feel like you're just back on your feet and then you get the like you get the transaction you know what i mean you get the you get the bank account statement like patreon.com slash little dum-dum club like oh fuck it's all coming back to me i gotta cancel that subscription and uh here's the other one that really stuck out to me and this is one that we've um this is this is something that we've hypothesized about before and wondered whether this kind of thing happens yes here we go

he had a stroke and died. If I could afford to keep supporting you guys in his legacy, I would. Fuck. Someone cleaning out the estate. Had a stroke while listening, probably. We weren't mentioned in the will, obviously. Yeah. Wouldn't that be great if the Dumb Dumb Club got someone's mansion in the will

just for a podcast studio? No, we just turn up to the wheel just for a podcast studio. Oh, no. We just turn up to the wheel reading for some reason. We just get given a bunch of fucking naughty books or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can inherit the mansion, but here's the twist. You have to do one podcast in there overnight. Yeah, you have to stay there overnight and be haunted by your listener

who's just like, ooh, how do you come up with your ideas? This is the new challenge for the listeners. Change your wheels. Leave the Dum Dum Club something. Yes. I would love that. Yeah. And you guys could speak at the eulogy.

Do the eulogy for them. You know, Terry was a good fan of ours. I reckon before this person got on there and cancelled it, I reckon we got maybe a month of this dead guy's money. Before they realised. While the widow's grieving. Yeah, I'll deal with Patreon later. First I've got to deal with this.

Notification from the bank. It's either that or, you know, this bloke gets his head chopped off in a helicopter accident and then like an hour later she's like, delete Patreon. Before she's done anything else, yeah. So, yeah, look.

Hang on, the ambulance hasn't turned up yet. But it's very complicated when someone dies getting rid of some of that stuff. My brother, my dad, when my dad passed away, my brother had pretend to be him on the phone. Oh, yes. He's like, so I put in an older man's voice when I rang up to cancel. Is this your Swedish brother, though? No, not Glenn, Mark, who lives in Melbourne.

She goes, yeah, so we had to cancel. I don't know what it was, like ambulance or something. So I put on an older voice and went, hey, it's Kevin here. I'm just canceling my subscription. Wow. Oh, why is that, Kevin? Oh, you know. I'm dead.

Glenn Robbins had the best one where he rang up Telstra on behalf of his mother, right, to try and change whatever, the phone or whatever. And the guy in the call centre, you know, the massive call centre guys, Glenn, we've got written down Phil as the person who we have to speak to. You cannot speak to us. Phil has the authority. You don't have the authority, Glenn. So get Phil to ring back, please.

And so Glenn's like, oh, fuck. So he leaves the 10 minutes, rings back. He goes, g'day, this is Phil Robbins. Just ringing back my mother. And the guy just pauses and goes, is that Glenn? It's the same guy. Big fan, I can tell. And he rings up his Uncle Arthur next to him.

Russell Coyd here. What's the odds of getting the same guy to call sometimes? Hey, it's Cotton the Fruiter here. No, that's someone else. That's Mark Mitchell. A couple of days. I had an ex of mine. Her dad didn't trust the banks, had everything in cash.

Oh, I love it. And the big question was always like, so if something happens to you, what are we going to... And he's like, oh, it's all buried in the backyard. I've got it all buried in different spots. But don't worry, I've drawn a map. Like a pirate. She had a picture of the map and it was like something out of a cartoon,

like an eight-year-old's treasure map. And they're just always like, the moment anything happens to Dad, we're just going to have to, what, on top of grieving and doing everything else, just excavate the fucking entire backyard. I love it. It's literally like, here's the lemon tree, and then you take four steps west and then right here x marks the spot and then after two hours digging oh we've got three hundred dollars that's good that's it that's it how much money do we get in that backyard i it was enough that it was like a concern of this is like all

his money like this is our entire inheritance is like buried in the when my nan died she had a draw full of cash. She just loved the Keno. She'd go down and she'd play 1 and 80, that were her two numbers, and she'd just win like $12 here, $12 there, and then put it in this drawer. And I think she had like $3,000 or $4,000 in cash just in the drawer.

Fantastic. Man, pre-COVID, I had more than that hanging around here, under the bed. It was fucking insane. Under the bed. It's crazy. And you make fun of me for being the fake wog. That's as ethnic as it gets.

Absolutely. Cash under the bed? Are you fucking kidding me? Cooking in his garage soon. Kitchen in his garage. And it's all gone now because I spent it on concreting the backyard. That generation though, like so my fiancé's nan passed away last week and they're having a similar thing where like she had all her valuable stuff like hidden yeah like hidden in different parts of

the house wow and was like 90 but had just never gotten around to like telling anyone the locations of this stuff and like if you want to do that as you as you get older you do sort of start to you've got to go all right it's time to start i think i can start to trust some of my family members about the look so now they're so then they just spend a week they're just like fucking tear turning the house upside down trying to find this jewelry i've done that myself though like you hide something on yourself and it's like a week later you wouldn't know where it is i did i remember one time i was unemployed and i i i don't even know why i did this i hid money from myself so i wouldn't spend it and a week later i didn't know where it was.

Yeah, you forgot it. And then like a couple of weeks later, I went, you know what? I remember where it is. That stubby holder that I threw out a week ago. Yeah, fantastic. And I've thrown out a stubby holder with $2,000 in it, all the money I had. Yeah. You've got to keep – you've got to be like if you're hiding the valuables

and you know that you still want people to inherit. You've got to – on your deathbed, you're giving out and you know that you still want people to inherit, you've got to, on your deathbed, you're giving out the passcode to the AirTag, to the, you know. Have you ever done this? Like, I'll even just hide money in my wallet and just put it there and go, oh, that'll be there. And all of a sudden, a year later, I go, there's fucking 50 bucks in my wallet. Nice.

Where the fuck's that come from? Talk us through hiding it in the wallet. Well, you know, like in a different compartment. In the condom wrapper. Yeah, yeah. Somewhere where I would never find it. Next to the moths. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. In the condom wrapper. Yeah, yeah. Somewhere where I would never find it. Next to the moths. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I don't, yeah. Yeah, I've had that a couple. I've had like a, I had actually while we were in Thailand, I found a 50, like a $50 in the little zip-up pocket of my board shorts while I was in the ocean. That was nice. I mean, I'm in a country where I can't spend it. But I was like, I mean, thank God we've got the one,

maybe the one currency in the world that is truly waterproof. Yeah. We just moved house. And so just going through all boxes and shit. And I almost threw out both kids' birth certificates. Oh, really? It was just in a box of paper, like my notes and shit. I'm like, I don't need any of this shit.

I had tax stuff from like 2007. Like, why have I done this Yeah And luckily Beck went Oh let me just check Before you chuck it all out And there was like Two rolled up birth certificates So the birth certificates

In with the tax Were they claimed As a deduction that year Or is that why They were in there We were cleaning up Mum and Dad's house So they

Dad died Anyway whatever We had to clean They just left the house basically Mum went into a nursing home Dad died And she goes I don't want any of this stuff It's Kevin's And it was like a full Functioning house Dad died. Anyway, whatever. We had to clean. They just left the house, basically. Mum went into a nursing home. Dad died. And she goes, I don't want any of this stuff.

It's Kevin's. And it was like a full functioning house. There was still food in the cupboards. And so my brother came home from Queensland. It was during lockdown. He got stuck staying in the house. And then this guy turned up called Brendan, I think his name was. And he goes, I'm a good friend of Kevin's.

I'll help you clear out the house. And I'm like, I've never fucking heard of this guy. I got on my other brother who lived closer to them. Do you know this guy? He's like, nah. And this guy's like, he would talk about dad. What's that word? He would talk about him.

Reminisce. And get tears in his eyes and go, Kevin was like a father to me. Was this John Safran trying to find his Freemasons membership card? And then he would just pick up stuff and go, this is Kevin's scout hat. I'd love to keep it. We're like, fuck, have it, mate. Have the scout hat. What? Oh, it was very odd.

And yeah, but he helped move a lot of shit out. Like, he was always there moving stuff. And he only wanted the scout stuff, which was good. Because we didn't really want the scout stuff. Okay. Yeah, anyway. All right. That sounds really dodgy.

Sorry. Some weird guy. Oh, can I get the scout stuff? Yeah, anyway. All right. That sounds really dodgy. Sorry. Like some weird guy. Oh, can I get the Scout stuff? Yeah. The Scout stuff. I want to go touch the kids. This is what your dad was wearing when he abused me 50 years ago. I'd really like to use it as evidence.

Look at the compensation. The Scout trophy's next to the Nazi memorabilia. I didn't want to mention that. We've talked about it before, but there was a lot of that, actually. Oh, my God. It was like Monica Lewinsky's dress. There wasn't that much. There was a bit of Nazi stuff. Dib, dib, dib, dob, dob, sig, hail.

Yeah. There was a bit of Nazi stuff, and I said to my brother, we've got to be careful. He goes, well, we should sell this. I went, yeah, but I don't think you can sell Nazi stuff. You can only sell it on the black market, yeah. No. Facebook, Michael. we should sell this I went yeah but I don't think you can sell Nazi stuff you can only sell it on the black market Facebook market getting lowballed

over Hitler's ass you'll get a skinhead from Fern Tree Gully like is this I want will you swap it for a can of Santa

yeah yeah just reverse the images so they think it's like an Indian kind of symbol yeah I think we I think my brother kept them

we didn't sell this bar of soap is this still available oh well I think my brother kept them. This bar of soap, is this still available? Well, did you just have an incinerator in the backyard? Oh, God. Oh, we've turned into... Who's that guy?

What's his name? Ostentatious. Oh, the other one. Adolf Hitler? No, he does Jewish jokes and he's no good. Don't name him. Don't name him. Don't name him. Mike Goldstein.

But he's like a YouTube sensation and his jokes are no good. Okay. And me and Oxy and Lemo did this theatre in New South Wales and Brad Oaks is a comic. He goes, so do you have any, like, because this was an RSL, do you have any limits of what sort of language and that? And the guy goes, nah, nah nah mate, this is the tech. Nah, we had this comic the other day

and oh fuck, he was pretty rank mate. Some of the things he was saying. So there was no limits on what we could say, basically. He found the bar for you. Oh yeah. And then you get to sail on under it. Exactly. Dave, you were talking to us off air about your, you're back on

Twitter. No, I'm off Twitter. You're back on Twitter. I'm off Twitter. I get on Twitter and then I really like Twitter because it's short, quick jokes. Also, by the way, are you ready for your Coke yet? Because you came in and the first thing you said when you walked in was, can I put my Coke in your fridge? I'll have it after.

Oh, a little treat. A little treat after the podcast. Well, we'll be the judges. Yeah, true. No, I get on Twitter. I like Twitter, we'll be the judges. Yeah, true. No, I get on Twitter. I like Twitter, but I get into fights with people. You know, anti-vaxxers and all that stuff.

You know, you guys talk too much about the vaccine. Yeah, yeah. Maybe this guy abused you. Maybe. That was one of the exit surveys. Someone said, I'm leaving Patreon because they blocked me on all other social media. Really? Yeah. Sounds like me.

It's also like, I can't argue with that. Why should I give these guys $5 a month if they've blocked me on every platform? No, but you know what it's like? There's been a few of them where it's like, someone just goes, yeah, you guys are fucking cunts. And it's like, cool. Well, I don't need to read that.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, well, then I won't pay you anymore. Okay. Yeah. I don't know what to tell you. It's not $5 a month for permission to call me a cunt. If my boss called me a cunt, I'd also leave that. Interesting.

No, but I left Twitter because the last time – Yeah, if my boss changed the locks on me and my job. Last time I was on Twitter, I got to the stage where I was following these guys and then I'm like – they're talking about the vaccines and all that. And I said, mate – and then he admitted he was a forklift driver. And I said, well, what? You're a forklift driver giving health advice, right? And then they made up a meme of my face and forklift drivers

and had Dave O'Neill hates forklift drivers. So when I'm appearing in memes, I think now's the time to get off. But like, what was the meme format? Like, was it literally just those two things next to each other and then the text dave o'neill hate so no like it's not no context on like an established name for it's not like you walking hand in hand a bit looking over your shoulder at a forklift yes no one would understand it unless they'd read this conversation you know given that hot too and spit on that thing and that thing is a forklift driver

so anyway i got off twitter but I went back on it during the comedy festivals to promote my shows and then I got back involved and then because what would happen was my teenage daughter would dob on me

to my wife and go dad's starting fights on Twitter again and she goes get out so I would delete it from my phone and then I got it

back on there and then we had my son's 21st and Timmy who's my brother-in-law um comes in he's irish he goes dave he announces to everyone dave you gotta stop fighting with democracy on twitter mate it's not worth it i'm like shut up timmy shut up the idea of you just like logging on to promote your festival show and you're so distracted that it's like four hours later you're just deep in the weeds

arguing with someone oh then you get you get like Trump you start on all that and you're like oh it's just not worth it you know what I like is that

sometimes I'll have a look in the comments of like you'll say something and there's obviously some sort of like klaxon call where it's like

right get into Dave O'Neill he's the big lefty commenter so there's like 50 comments but what I like is like so there's obviously enoughies in there, but there's also some quite good quality fat jokes going on in there. So I don't mind having a look because it'll be a bit like it'll be vaccine

and all of a sudden there'll be someone saying, fuck, this cunt loves the vaccine. What's in the vaccine? Fucking hot dogs or something. But all those posts are from your burner account. No. Well, when I got in a fight with Andrew Bogart, the basketballer. Bogart.

Whatever his name is, yeah. He's fans. Bogart. Rumpry Bogart starting point for the Chicago Bulls, yes. He's fans. Obviously, he put the call out, and they just said, and the funniest comment was, hey, O'Neill, stay in your lane, and by the look of you,

it's a McDonald's drive-thru. That's a great joke. That'sthru. That's a great joke. That's good shit. That's a great joke. That is good shit. And I only started, I stopped fighting with him because he usually goes, mate, what are you doing? Don't fight with Andrew Boga.

You're going to lose. You're going to lose. And then the true story, I went for a walk. He goes, go for a walk. Go for a walk, mate. It was during lockdown. I said, all right, I'll go for a walk. I was walking down by the creek, and some guy walked past, and he goes go for a walk go for a walk mate it was during lockdown I said alright I'll go for a walk

I was walking down by the creek and some guy walked past and he goes I know why you're walking I go why

he goes pogo Andrew pogo what does he think that you got too many fat jokes on twitter so you go for a walk

better than Jenny Craig yeah absolutely oh yeah you're going I'm going to lose 10 kilos

and I'll get back on there and go go I'm going to lose 10 kilos And take I'll get back on there And go oh I'm not fat anymore Yeah yeah What have you got now Yeah So are you off I'm off it

You call turkey You're off for good I'm off Twitter No I'll go back on You go back on the promoter show Get sucked in all over again Yeah Yeah no

Well you're about to put out a special So then that can be A new little comment section For all those people To migrate off to Forgot about that special It's pretty fun on there at the minute with uh trump getting shot though dave you'd really like it yeah oh i've only got one joke about that what sort of assassin misses a head like that seriously i mean come on that's quality stuff and what's the joke oh sorry yeah i had to do that i can hear that coke slowly evaporating.

Oh, man, my coke. My coke. But I had a great, I did a, you know, I'm the king of corporates, but I had to make a list of corporates to send them to someone, and they're all like, I can read them out to you, but they're all country. They're all like real. They're not like BHP, you know, kind of awards night.

And I had to go do the Alexandra Truck Show. Yes. You got it. You only do the Alexandra Truck Show twice in your career. Once on the way up and once on the way down. Anytime you mention a company that you've done

a corporate for, I feel like we're in a sitcom writer's room and it's like, what's a funny business? What's a funny place and business? Well, it's a small town in the country of Victoria near Eildon and they get 10,000 people there and they get 80 trucks lining the street. I didn't know anything about it.

I was filling in for Des Dowling who's a comedian who was sick, right? So I go along, but this is like the sponsor's dinner, right? And it's in a hall. You've got the empty table down the front, right? Then you've got like blokes and money blokes and some women that work in trucks, right? And the guy, the old guy running it goes, are you going to get amongst the crowd

like the fantastic Desmond Dowling did last year? I'm like, oh. Hang on. So Shane Bourne works for the fucking Alexander Truck Company? Hey-ho. Thank God you're here, Dave. He goes, I go, wow.

Me and Carpus made eye contact for about a minute to see which of us was going to call out that it was a Shane Bourne impression. All right, well, yeah, anyway, so I'll go, oh, probably not. I'll probably stay on the stage. And he goes, oh, really? Okay, anyway, 45 minutes, is that all right?

I'm like, 45 minutes? So I get up there and it's fine,'s there's some funny jokes with the truck i always go who who owns the most trucks and there was a that's very funny well for them it's funny who's the richest person who owns the most trucks and this guy owns 60 that's a lot of trucks that's a lot of trucks. That's a lot of trucks. That's a lot of trucks. Where would you fucking keep them all? He had his teenage daughter with him. I said, you relax, fucking get on the drugs, whatever. You're fine.

You've got 60 trucks coming your way. Yeah, they liked it. Get on the drugs. You've got 60 trucks. I think I said get on the vapes and the bongs. I didn't say drugs. Why are you so touchy about being labelled a cruise ship guy? I know.

Kill on the cruises. Kill on the cruises. Exactly are you so touchy about being labelled a cruise ship guy? I know. Kill on the cruise. Kill on the cruise. Exactly. You would actually be the number one cruise ship guy. People have said I would actually

like you said it but you would be great. Yeah. Cavalier was just trying to help you. He was giving you advice. I know. I'm an idiot.

Anyway, so this place kept yelling out there was a big bloke and a little bloke and they were from the Hallam Truck Centre, right? Dave, Dave, you know those unhelpful kind of heckles? Hang shit on Gary. Hang shit on Gary.

And I'm like, all right, Gary. And they're way down the back of the hall. Gary, what's your story? I couldn't really understand them. So anyway, I look at my watch. I've done 40 minutes. I'm like, right, it's time to go in the audience. And I come off the stage

And you see the bloke organiser start clapping This is what we're made for This is like the wrestling Down with the people So I hang shit on a few people That goes alright Then I come to the hell of a truck centre, guys There's a big bloke and a little bloke with a beard

And I go, so who's in charge here? Who's in charge of the truck centre? And the big bloke goes, it's him. It's little Gary. And I go, Gary, so you're older than him? That's why? He goes, no, I'm younger than him. I go, fuck, you've had a hard life.

And he just grabs the mic and he goes, cancer. Yeah. Does it get a laugh? That got a bit of a laugh. I went, all right, that's it for me. Thanks bit of a laugh I went alright That's it for me Thanks guys What a closer It's it for me

And soon it for you And Shane brought up And goes Mate it was great Especially when you went Into the crowd Yeah yeah Well he's a

You know he's a He's a legendary entertainer He knows what it takes To get a crowd going He does I like that cancer Got a laugh Yeah

Yeah because Yeah it was interesting That's the whole hypothesis of this show. Because normally that wouldn't get a laugh. That's our gear. You should get us booked for this truck thing next year. The truck show. The Alexandra truck show.

Yeah, if Gary's still around, me and him can do some riffing about what it's like. Yeah. But I couldn't even tell whether he was joking or what. I couldn't tell. What was the hair situation? No, he had a beard and hair. He was like my age.

He's faking it. Yeah, he could be. He's faking it. You don't know. Was he trying to be funny? I don't know. I never know. Well, I mean, if he said it and a room full of his colleagues laughed at it,

then he must have been... Because if he genuinely had just told the workplace, guys, I've been told I've got cancer and I've got a month to live, and then he just reveals that at a show and I've got a month to live. Yeah. And then he just reveals that at a show and they all laugh. That's fucking rough stuff. You would think it would have shut down the whole thing. Very good thing.

You know what's a weird thing that's accidentally happened to my phone? And this is not a thing that I've done on purpose. Go on. This is just a thing that one day I looked at it and here it is. And I don't know why. You know on the iPhone you've got your favorites section? Yeah. On the far left side. I don't know how.

So I didn't do this on purpose. There's three names on the favourites, and this is what I've somehow done. If you'd like to... Guess. Within censor some names here, but you can say what it is. All right. Don't say a name.

Yep. Mum. Yep. Dave O'Neill. Top three. I did not do this and one day just popped up and the phone has done it for me

I do speak to you a bit on the phone and you are now in the top three is that just like well based on who the other two are that must just be hours logged on the phone right

I talk a lot on the phone and you can too so I don't know when I'm bored that sounds like a book title I ring up Carl Chandler. Well, you know what?

We're both a bit of like, if we're going somewhere, it's like, all right, get on the phone. Who's around? My favourites are not, number one, Akmal. That's a medical. Last time I spoke to Akmal. Paul Collegia, who's a writer. I haven't spoken to Paul Collegia for years.

That's funny. Well, this is a great indication of how much I like being on the phone. Read them and weep, boys. No one. No favourites. Do you mainly text? It's just triple zero. That's weird.

Do you talk a lot? Lifeline. No, I'm not a phone guy. You're more text. I'm a text. Yeah, you're younger. Even though you're Not that young

But I know kids They say teenagers Don't like You know when you Ring one of my kids They're like What hello Yeah

They all text each other Imagine talking to someone Weird stuff Yeah but then you Can't see tone in a text And people get upset And stuff Yeah but I don't know

I like talking face to face I just don't like Being on the phone. When Dave writes, hey, poof, people read the tone wrong. That's out of context. That's out of context. Written down, that looks offensive. But if you hear it out loud, it's just funny.

You hear it out loud, you don't think of it as a slur. It's a catchphrase. Yeah. And they're doing it again. We're doing it right now, Tommy, but we're stopping ourselves from doing it by doing something else. If you're in the region of Sydney, of New South Wales, of even Australia, and you have access to a plane or train or automobile. If you want to drive up from Canberra. Yes.

Oh, yeah, do it if you want to come from Newcastle. We're in Sydney, Saturday, the 20th of July, 6.30 p.m. Yes. Doing a live show. We've got three magnificent friends of the 20th of July, 6.30pm. Yes. Doing a live show. We've got three magnificent friends of the show coming in to help us. Try and tickle your funny bone. Yeah, it's a good goddamn line-up, I dare say. Come along.

It's going to be good. It's nice and early, 6.30. You can go and have dinner afterwards, all that sort of jazz. You know what? If you are travelling to Sydney, you've got time to travel home. Oh, yeah. It's a good time for it. It is a good time.

It'll be a red hot show. If you've enjoyed all the Coastal Movie shows, which you should have because they're a ripping live show, so we're in form. Come along and be part of the live experience. It is. Dare I say it? I think, Tommy, I don't want to blow our own horn too much,

but we do do some of the better live podcasts going on around. We will be doing it again, I dare say. I only hope so. Yeah. But I'd like to have money on it happening because I think it wouldn't be paying much, but I think we'd win something off it. And the odds of Bernie kicking a big one? Well, I mean, we're in a different state from what a big one is up there.

Yeah. Bernie was originally kicking an AFL football, and I guess there is still a little bit of that going on up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I guess, you know, Sydney are a very good side, actually, in the AFL. They're top. Oh, yeah, yeah, well, of course. I'm knocking it in.

They're top of the league. Great. And we've got merch. We've got all the From Before, if you enjoyed all the process of all that happening. From Before, if you're loving all that bullshit, we got it all printed in Thailand and now we're bringing the leftovers to you in Sydney. Or you can get online.

Buy yourself a shirt, a hat, or one of our new, influenced by a certain Thai beer, stubby holder. From and inspired by. Yes. Chang Beer. Yes. So get onto that. Get onto our website.

Have a look at all That sort of stuff Grab it before Certain sizes Of the shirts Are running out Yep The stubby holders

Are definitely going to run out And the hats are moving Quite quickly as well So get onto it Get onto all of that LittleDumbDumbClub.com And now Back

To the show Josh Earl Now we'll talk Yes This is relatable I think to Our guests today Both I guess Josh Earl. Now, we'll talk about this. This is relatable, I think, to our guests today, for both, I guess.

Josh Earl. How long has it been? Maybe 10 years? You used to be the host of a TV show. I did. I hosted Spicks and Specks. Was it 10 years ago? Bring it back.

Yeah, 10 years. 2014. 2014? Oh, really? 10 years? Well, happy anniversary. A decade. Yes.

What do you get for paper? What do you get for 10? What do you get for 10? What is 10 years? I'll wait for the ABC to give me something. Well, the anniversary sort of relies, the idea of an anniversary relies on it still existing. The anniversary. You don't have an anniversary when you've been divorced.

Yeah, when you've broken up. I'm sure some people do. I know that's a thing that some people kind of get together after they've split up just to celebrate not being in it. Well, I'm lucky I get to celebrate every year my son's born because that's the day they cancelled it. Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, God. What? Were you in the hospital and then you get the two? No, in the morning of they announced it and then Beck went into labour that day. Right. And then come out and you go, okay, I'll name him Hilsey. You think you're in pain Fucking hell

Yeah Can I have some of those drugs Yeah you've got problems Yeah Yeah That's funny That the kids come out And the first person you've seen

Is the ex-host of Spitz and Spex How depressing If only he had come out A day earlier He would have had a winner as a dad. Could he use those ratings? It happened on a Friday, and then on the Monday,

I had to go into Centrelink to put him on the Medicare and all that kind of stuff. While you're there. I'm standing in Centrelink, going, fuck, people are going to think I'm here signing on. This is no good.

Yeah. And you were. That's harsh. Yes. Yes. Yes. So anyway, so that's 10 years ago.

I finally have caught up to you. I've had a similar experience. So the new season of Spicks and Specks is out, right? Yes. It's all happening. And I've worked. So you basically very helpfully got me the job. Yes.

Well, no. They asked, is he good? I said yes. Yes. So I, yep. Yes. Well, you vouched for me. Yep.

So anyway, so I've worked for that show since then, on and off, because it only happens every two years. But so this is, I think this is funny. So every time it comes back, every two years, and you know, you were always on it, Dave, you know. I was on it the other day, yeah. Yeah, see, it comes back every two years or so. You got on there to promote your appearance on Twitter.

Yeah. Got distracted. A few hours went by. How many appearances now? 68. Yeah. Got distracted. A few hours went by. How many appearances now? 68. Oh. Fuck yes. Come on, next year.

Fuck yes. There we go. Dinner for two. They're going low. We've got to bring it back for just one more year. Everyone's happy. Dave can do one more. And do you include the three that you did with me?

Yeah, absolutely. I include every. Does the ABC include it? Yeah, exactly. I include. Have you ever seen it again? No. Doesn't go on ABC2 for some reason.

They don't repeat those ones. No, they don't repeat those ones. No. That's weird. They should have, considering they had a fucking opera singer on every single episode for some reason. The guest list really dropped off in that season.

They really weren't trying too hard. But anyway. Yeah, so anyway. So what happens is, it comes back every two years ago. When all the stars align, metaphorically and physically and whatever. And there's other writers on the show that have been on there the whole time and then they'll, like the show will get announced, the new season will get announced.

Yep. And then as soon as that gets announced, the other writers will hit me up and go, oh, have you heard? What's going on? What's happening here? What's happening here? And I'm like, fuck it. I don't know.

I'm the lowest on the food chain. I never know anything. They have always regarded me as the lowest. Cause they go, he's the guy that writes the jokes. It's like, yeah, on the comedy show.

Yeah. Why would you, why would you fucking talk to this guy? So anyway, they hit me. I'm like, Oh, what's happening with it?

And I go, I'm the last to know about this stuff. And so then the same guy hit me up about two months later. And he's like, yeah, well anyway, fuck that show anyway. You know what I'm saying?

And I'm like, not really. What are you saying is, you know, like fuck them. I'm like not really what are you saying is you know like fuck them i'm like why why fuck them you know that show's coming up soon he goes you got the phone call didn't you and i'm like what phone call and he goes oh we've all got the sack we've all been let go like all these this team of writers we've all been let go i'm like i know i didn't get that phone call and he's like yeah yeah but they mentioned you specifically yeah Yeah, yeah, and they said this. And then I go, I did not get. And they go, but they rang everyone.

This guy's going on and on. Looks like he's going to find himself in the favorite section of Car Channel's phone pretty soon. Logging some serious hours here having a binge. Well, as someone who got that phone call, I wish I didn't get the phone call. Count your blessings. Yeah, yeah.

But I think that's funny. He's like, but he was insistent. No, no, no. Everyone got it. Like this other guy got it and this guy got it. I'm like, I can't stress to you enough,

I did not forget the phone call. So why didn't they call you up, do you think? I don't know. I think they were waiting to, maybe they thought they needed you probably. They needed the joke man. No, but like I said,

they mentioned me specifically. So then I was like, oh, that's a weird thing. Okay, so you live your life and you keep going, whatever. Okay, that's not happening. Anyway, then, now this is not the first time this has happened to me. This is like an ongoing thing. By the way, this is rare in TV that you get any kind of call saying, it's not coming back, we're not getting you back.

Like the number of things where it's like I've worked on shows that have like not gone well, gotten to the end of the season and they're like, it'll be back, guys. Yeah, yeah, see you all next year. And you never get the call. TV burp any day now. It never formally cancels. Any day now it's coming back.

And it's because it's contract. Because you fulfil your contract so they don't feel the need to ring you up and say, yeah, that contract's over and you're not coming back. Yeah, but also when these people that are talking to me got the arse, like the writers are like, and they're like, hang on, so what did they tell you? And he goes, oh, they just said, you know, they want to refresh. Everyone's too old. You guys are too old.

I'm like, I don't think you're allowed to say that. I don't think you're allowed to say that. And they're like, yeah, they mentioned you. I'm like, I'm fucking 48. Like, you guys are mid-50s. They go, no, we need to freshen up the show. Everyone needs to be younger and whatever. And you guys are too old.

You're too old. I'm like, the three faces of this show are mid-50s? The executive producer making this call is mid to late 50s? Everyone's... And I'm like, who's the new head writer? They go, this person. Oh, that person in their mid to late 50s. I'm like, but who's the new head writer they go this person oh that person in their mid to late 50s

I'm like but also I'm 48 I'm a fucking baby just deleting your page of jokes about rock around the clock what's wrong with me

I don't want my Chuck Berry jokes anymore but also who's watching that show everyone's over 50 that's it yeah yeah that's it

that's the ABC it's on the ABC Spix and Spix is not on TikTok. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Well, our friend Ben Lomas does the warm-up for it. He does the any questions kind of stuff. Yes, he does.

And he's told me a few times. He'll have said, oh. Number one question, can you change my colostomy bag? He said a few times. He'll have said, who am I? What happened to Josh Earle? Where's Josh Earle? In terms of like, where are they now?

I'm waiting for TV Week to know where are they now. I thought they watched it last night and it was you. Yeah, that's Josh in a wig. Why isn't Josh on the show? And then Ben, this is what he said, but he said, oh, I don't know, because Ella comes on the show. Oh, you fucking idiot. You idiot.

That's good stuff. Well, anyone going to a recording of Spicks and Specks, just ask, where's that Ryder Carl channel? Yeah, put it in. How come we can't see him like we never have anyway before? But anyway, so that all happens. And I'm like, this is insane. Like this thing of this refresh, it's like, yeah, it needs to be younger.

It's like, it's a fucking writer's room. No one can see what age you are But the people on the screen Are all fucking pushing 60 What are you talking about? So And again You just like They call you up

And you just make sure You've got Sabrina Carpenter On you Yeah Sorry guys I was just hanging out Doing my leisure activities Oh sorry

Hang on Dua Lipo's here with me Dua Lipo Dua Lipo Sorry I'll just finish Popping this ollie And I'll be with you in a minute Duolipo

yeah yeah no but that's that's not far off because I'm like hey I'm still with it I'm only listening to this new album

Queens of the Stones what a great new album and I look it up Josh Homme is 50 years old ah fuck Eminem's got a new album out yeah

yeah well the old days you just have a channel 9 the security guy go well you're not on the list anymore you're like oh fuck yeah they say you old days you just have a channel nine the security guy go well you're not on the list anymore you're like oh fuck yeah

they see you cast one off you you're like oh no we had a big like the last episode of TV Burp that we worked on we had like the execs

came in and they gave us this big like now guys you know we're just resting the show we're really happy with it and it is going to come back and they give us this big spiel

and Lawrence Mooney who was also a writer on it he's next to me and he goes for God's sakes just tell us the dog's dead it's not at a farm and me I'm like young enough

that I'm like what do you mean it is coming back isn't it I'm like 21 just taking them at their word officially Rove Live is still coming back apparently they had a

they had a last episode party and went oh it'll be back next year well I knew we were kind of dead man walking in the last episode I went alright thanks for that thanks for watching we'll be back next year. Well, I knew we were kind of dead man walking in the last episode. I went, all right, thanks for that. Thanks for watching.

We'll see you next year. And then they said, we'll do another take and just say see you. I was like, oh, God. See you, mate. Yeah. See you. Can you just rephrase it as goodbye forever? Okay, just to have in the bank.

Just for safety, can we do one where you're holding a shotgun and then you blow your own head off on camera? Just in case. Just for safety. Just in case. Can we just have one where you're holding a shotgun and then you blow your own head off on camera? Just in case. Just for safety. Just in case. Can we just have one where you go into space? So anyway, so I'm getting that. I'm getting the second hand, like, you're too old.

And I'm like, you're literally, you're legally not allowed to say that. That's literally discrimination. And so I think the other writers are like going, fucking how dare they say that? And I'm like, I'd rather not lean on that too hard because I'd rather like pretend to be young. But this is the catch-22. Once you're a white guy complaining about your being discriminated against, you're old.

I know. You can't win. I know. I was much rather going on the sort of argument of, I know who's replacing me and they suck. They're actually shit at their job and I'm quite good. Good course correction. It still got me nowhere.

But anyway, so that all happens and I'm like, okay, I guess I'm just like not being told. It's like Chinese whispers. I've just been told I'm not coming back via a friend of a friend. And so like I said, that's actually happened to me before. So that's happened to me before on Hard Quiz, where it's like, see you next season. And then all of a sudden a new season of Hard Quiz comes on TV

and I'm like, well, unless this is live, you need me to come down tonight. Yeah, I had that with talking about your generation. They were like, yeah, see you next season. And I'm like just waiting for months like oh any day now like really like basing my year around it and then

I'm flicking around the TV one night and see the ad for the new episodes I'm like well that answers that question yeah well I did

like years ago I brought this up as a thing with Gleeson Gleeson was on a live show and I was like yeah fucking what about this and he's like I honestly don't

didn't realise you were gone that was six months ago wow it's nothing to do with me I'm up in the ivory tower oh yeah absolutely i don't have to concern myself with the employment of the peasants absolutely and that's fair enough but so uh so that's that happened before right and that was that was off the back of i was working for a brief time on both what's it called uh uh weekly weekly and and hard quiz and so hard quiz was like the weekly i was like oh whatever but like hard quiz was like, The Weekly I was like, oh, whatever. But like Hard Quiz was like, oh, I was doing a good job on that.

So I was like, so then when it didn't come back, I'm like, I don't really, none of these jobs I care that much about working on, but it's more the, you could fucking tell me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could give me the tap on the shoulder. Or, like I said, more importantly, when you see the person replacing you, you go, fuck me, come on. I'm better than that.

So anyway. Which is what Hilsey said when I replaced him. Yeah. So anyway, so I hear all about Spix rolling through and they're making the – I think they start to make the show. To be completely honest, I was recording and doing everything while we were in Koh Samui. So it's like, well, I wouldn't have been able to do it anyway.

Whatever. So whatever. Who cares? I moved on. But then the guy that used to be the boss at Hard Quiz and the Weekly, he just came to Basement Comedy Club one night. He just sort of walked in and I was like, what the fuck's going on here? And he's a guy that used to sort of dabble in stand-up.

So then he comes in and i'm like what's this guy doing here like i literally have not spoken to him since then i've never heard from him back then i've never seen him again since then so the show's on and whatever and it's one of the shows where i've got like a couple of mates there and we're having a few beers and it keeps going we have a few more a few more and then it and this guy's still hanging around i'm like what's this guy doing and i'm like i don't particularly need to talk I've got nothing to talk to him about apart from what's happened in the past. So then I am like fucking doing everything I can to get away from this guy. I'm stacking up the chairs.

I'm fucking washing the dishes. I'm doing all this stuff I don't need to and shouldn't be doing. Emptying the till. Just waiting for this guy to go. And then we get there and there's literally just me and Harley Breen and this guy left and that's it in the whole room and then it's like

okay so what are we doing now and like I said I reckon I've had 10 to 12 beers at this point and then it's just three of us and everyone's like looking around for something

to talk about and then this guy goes yeah probably the last time I saw you I don't know if you remember this but yeah I sort of didn't get you to come back on that TV show and I never said anything or anything like that.

And I went, yeah, I fucking remember. And then Harley goes, I need to go to the toilet. Good move, Harley. I need to go to the toilet in another venue. Yeah. At my house. So he fucks off. And he goes, yeah.

And I go, well, man, since you bring it up, yeah, let's talk about it. I go, okay, well, look, I'll tell you completely, to be honest, the weekly I didn't really fucking care about. But then hard quiz, I did a good job on it. And I went, it's just rude. It's just fucking basic rudeness of a person that you get along with and it's your job. I said, it really looked really bad upon you as a boss if you couldn't even be doing your basic fucking job properly.

And it makes you look like a really fucking small man if you don't ever even have the courage to tell someone that they're not coming back i'm like it makes me think so much fucking less of you and if that's what you want to yeah and i went between the fucking eyes and this guy was just like and you could see him just go i think i was i was here to ask for a gig but i don't think i'll bother i. I waited around for four hours. To get a news. Yeah, because he must have been going, oh, yeah, let's clear the air here. It'll be a nice moment.

I'll get that nice closure. And you just go, no, you're a cunt. He's what's been sitting in the barrel for five years. Or, you know, what it often is, is like if you've got something like lingering in your head about like, you know, something you think you've done to someone or that you've always felt bad about and then you bring it up all those years later you're like i just gotta say i'm really sorry about this and then they're like i don't someone did that to me they were like hey i just i'm really sorry about this and i was like i've i've got to be honest i've got no memory of that whatsoever yeah but then you're also like

but here's the thing you should fucking apologize for and they're like i don't remember so he was probably thinking he'd bring it up and you'd just be like, oh, man, water under the bridge. I don't think of that at all. I don't think he would have thought that. I know who it is. He knows Carl enough to know. Well, yeah, true.

I forgot about it. I was imagining a hypothetical situation where we were talking about different people. Normal people. Yeah. Normal people. Yeah. No, but that's the dream.

You get the arse from something and then someone comes up with a glass drawer and leads with it and you go, well, I'll take it from here. people. Yeah, no, but that's the dream. You get the ask from something, and then someone comes up with a glass drawer and leads with it, and you go, well, I'll take it from here. Okay, no problem. Because I heard when Spix was coming back the first time, it was on the whiteboard in the ABC, and a friend of mine worked there and went, oh, you know, they're bringing it back.

So I rang up the EP. Producer guy, yeah. And he was like, oh, what do you mean? What have you heard? I'm like, just tell me it coming? And he was like, oh, well, what do you mean? What have you heard? I'm like, just, I don't mind if it's like the original cast, but if you get a new cast,

fucking that's, that's real bad. And he goes, oh, no, I don't know, I don't know. And then it came out and I'm like,

oh, so message me. Oh, well done. It came back. Yes. Because he then offered me a writing job. I'm like,

nah, it's like, I said on, I was proud of this. I said, it's like going to your ex's wedding. Like, I'll be fine fine I know he was in me for now and I'll be fine

but everyone in the office going oh how are you how you doing yeah I just don't want that but also like I said you know the whole excuse was the refresh it's all the refresh

and it's like who's the first guest Dave O'Neill and then Brian Mannix who was then who was on this week fucking Ross Noble

and Michelle Laurie okay young people mate young people the fucking 13 year olds have got something to watch this week? Fucking Ross Noble and Michelle Laurie. Okay, all right. Young people, mate. Young people. The fucking 13-year-olds have got something to watch this week. That'll be good. So anyway, I'm like 12 beers in, so I go, fucking here's some home treers.

Fucking boom. And he's like copped it. One of those ones where he's copped 12 bullets to the abdomen and it's still standing. I'm like, fucking good for you. Well done for copping it. And then I get like an email like a couple of days later going, hey, you know, come down and you know what you said,

you know, fair enough and whatever. And I was like, oh, sorry, man, I'd had a few beers, so I probably went a bit hard. He goes, no, you got it. You did it. You did it extremely well. It was very effective. Good for you.

Like you got it out. I'm like, well, good for you. You know, good for you for copping it. We both got, I i said we both said what we wanted to say that's all good whatever so it's like okay so that's all done so then like about two or three days later i get the call from the ep of spixaspex going oh um yeah oh we've just made this decision that you won't be coming back for this and i went hang on yeah i know that i've got told third hand three months ago and then and he goes no we've just- He calls up and you're like, hang on, let me have between 10 to 12 beers

so I can let you know what I really want to say here. No, but like, so then I'm like, no, I already know. Fucking, you know, oh, no, we've only just made the call. I'm like, well, how come I was named three months ago and whatever? And then I click and I go, I reckon word's gotten around. Yeah, this guy's then talked around and gone, fuck, if you don't tell Chandler he's sacked, he's going to fucking fix you right up.

So get in early. I know you've left in three months. There's still time. Yeah. You don't want to have to fucking be hanging around Basement Comedy Club at 1am in a year's time, waiting for your penance. Yes.

Yeah. Because you and that EP share a love of a great musician and you could see him at a concert and go, hey, listen, mate. Oh, Tommy, I think you should tell Carl now he's sacked. Just get out of the way. And you've got people here to support you. Is the plan with bringing this up publicly that, like,

you'll never have to deal with this again? Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, I'm being sacked and I'm being replaced by Fiona Lachlan. Because we need to get someone younger in. Yeah, yeah, yeah'm being sacked and I'm being replaced by Fiona Lachlan. Just we need to get someone younger in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring chicken. The aforementioned Shane Vaughan's coming in. Hey, ho.

Hey, ho, hey, ho. Dumb Dumb Club. Every show now that may have been considering you for one second, when they decide not to, they're like, we'd better get on the front foot and call him up and let him know that we're not hiring him for this thing that he doesn't even know exists at this point. They employ him with the thing, look, we may not bring you back next year,

but just we'll tell you now that it may happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The show isn't up yet. You haven't got a job yet, but it's not coming back. How come the entire staff of that show changed? Well, they all went into witness protection because they decided to not bring Chandler back for season two and they didn't want to suffer the consequences.

So we need a new EP every season. Yeah. No, I mean, I'm really only, I'm only bringing this up because I know Fredo is dead. There's not many jobs going. So it's like, I'm not missing much. It'll be a great show if you get everyone you've got a grudge with at the basement comedy one night on a Wednesday night. Just invite them all.

Do the thing that cops do and say there's a free DVD machine to criminals. They'd all turn up to a hall. DVD machine. Yeah, they'd all turn up to a hall. I'm just saying, you can see it. And maybe it was in a TV show. It's the start of a movie. It's The Simpsons, isn't it?

There's an episode where they do that. Yeah, but it's from a movie. It's actually a thing that people would do. It's a real life thing. Yeah, and so you go, there's a free whatever. Free marijuana, everyone. Free marijuana and a couple of pints at this night and you go, there's a free whatever. Free marijuana, everyone. Free marijuana and a couple of pints at this night and you invite all these people down and you just get up on stage.

And so you've got Hughsey on, there's comedy on, there's a list of a few big names. Lock the doors. None of them are there. Industry seminar, guys. Get down. No, it's the roast of Carl Chandler but reversed. It's the roast for Carl Chandler.

It's like everyone gets invited down that I want to roast no one else gets a right of reply yeah the roast from Carl Chandler but from is really little

like the chemist warehouse this is this yeah yeah yeah it's just a spotlight going on audience members and so people

turn up they're like great we're finally going to see this cunt get his just desserts like packed room and then you get up

and just set the place on fire you the guy on the bakery yeah you me going all the way back going all the way back

to like jobs you had when you were like 15 some some kid in prep that spilled his milk on me Maryborough over there

you phoned some guy in from London when you worked in the warehouse sunshine Johnston from Maryborough. The doctor that slapped me on the ass when I got bored. Oh, this is great. Then your parents are there.

Why are we here? When are we going to cop it? Oh, this is great. Your kid, your little kid. You wake me up every morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, this would be a beautiful evening. It'd be a great night.

A roast from Carl Chandler. Unfortunately, I'm too old to do the actual roast. Nah, we'll get someone younger. A lot of stairs in the basement, so how are you going to cope with them? We'll get Carl Stefanovic and other famous Carls to do it. Well, hopefully none of these people go on to work in any new media prospects. As long as they're, you know, I think I'm pretty untouchable. It's fine.

There you are. It's fine. There you are. It's fine. You're part of the Dundon Club. That's it. You've built an empire. That's it. It's like Joe Rogan of Australia. Exactly.

No one's firing him. This is the, what's the deaf ship? What are they called? The mothership. The mothership. Yeah, this is. This flat here is the deaf ship. This is open mic Joe Rogan.

This is fine. Yeah. We're going to get some Patreon exit surveys that say, oh, I work at these TV shows and he was mean to me on the last episode. I'm no longer his favourite. You know what would happen with that? It'd be like, there'd be genuine open micers that would be like, this sounds like a good show.

How can I get part of it? Oh, fuck, he called me a cunt once. I was like, get in line. Jesus Christ. We'd have a whole open mic section probably upstairs. Yeah, we are going to need A bigger venue We're going to need to look

At like Rod Laver Arena Do a whole festival run I guess We'll break Taylor Swift's record Oh yeah One person per One person per show Yeah

So we can do 24 nights People with their little Friendship bracelets Just say can't Or duck sandwich It's like Duck sandwich Well you guys All remember this There was one time People with their little friendship bracelets just say can't. Yeah, or duck sandwich. Well, you guys will remember this.

There was one time we had a secret little group there for a long time. It was a very elite bunch of comedians. We had a Facebook group before group chats, before all that sort of stuff. We had a very elite bitching gossipy comedy group with a lot of famous people. We were doing it publicly in like a Melbourne hub for gigs and stuff. And then we realised that some like movies and shakers were in there and that it was public. I wasn't in that. And the reason you realise it was because of me,

because someone, Maloney. That's right. Brenna Maloney got Jay Morris' phone and bagged me out publicly. And then like as a joke to make Jay look shit. And everyone piled on jay your phone hack yeah and then was it you who went oh we're doing this publicly because like industry people like i think comments were like yeah it was like oh yeah everyone can see this some heads of industry started commenting and we're like let's take this behind the

so yeah we're like calling each other gay and just really teeing off and being like, oh. Yeah. Yeah. Fun, though. So anyway, yeah, it was this secret group of just, you know, the Avengers of like cunty fucking comedians. And so we're doing all that and that went on for a long time. And, you know, there's a lot of, you know, a lot of well-known people in there that- And some would leave.

Some would leave, too. Yeah, a lot of well-known people in there that I absolutely still have many, many, many screenshots of, and that's my superannuation. If you're out there, Ronnie Chang. I wasn't thinking here. I was thinking there's someone else. Oh, yes, there is. Who is just like...

Someone just as big on the same platforms and stuff like that. Oh, bigger. Lots of bigger. Very bigger. Yeah. A lot of people... This phone right here has a lot of skeletons in it. Oh, God.

Right here. This is my... That's the end of your show. You read them out. This is my super. Yeah, that's the end of the show This phone right here has a lot of skeletons in it. Right here. This is... That's the end of your show. You read them out. This is my super. The end of the show. All right, guys. This is going to be by me a couple of...

Some of these people are international. They can't be here. They're all reading these screenshots. Yeah. Printouts of that grouper under your mattress next to all the cash. This phone is going to get me a few villas in Koh Samui. Just put it that way. But no, there was a day. And literally, when I was in Koh Samui just put it that way so um but no there was there was a uh a

day and literally when I was in Koh Samui I went there one time after my engagement I got engaged to don't say a name in Singapore she we were in Singapore she went off to uh Qatar to do some work and I went well I'll go to Koh Samui for like two or three days by myself on the way home but it was in the wet season so there was nothing going on there. And I was like, I was just stuck in a bar all day. You wouldn't go in the pool, no beach, no nothing like that. And so then I'm in our stupid little secret group. And I'm going, you know what?

This is what I'm going to keep me entertained by. I'm going to list the 35 most hated comedians of me. So every day I would count it down and like oh yeah write a list and write a big synopsis of um people were very invested in the group yeah yeah yes and so i was counting them down with a big blurb and every day it'd be like oh fuck who are you gonna do now and it was also very funny because it's like you're in paradise and you're fucking using your time like this i'm like to be fair it is raining and i'm in a bar drunk so whatever so then yeah so that was me for like three days straight

just like putting these paragraph long fucking things about all these people in comedy that I didn't like or whatever we got to number one got on the plane came home whatever

and then went fuck I really shouldn't keep that up for too long because you know people are going to get screenshots people are going to do this whatever and so I thought

I got rid of it and it was it was sort of before the age of people really taking fucking receipts and taking too many screenshots so I was I got rid of it and it was it was sort of before the age of people really taking fucking receipts and taking too many screenshots so I was sort of lucky but then I remember

like a year later someone going you know that fucking Tommy Daslow he's a real fucking piece of work I'm like why is that

and he goes I heard about it he's in a secret group and he wrote the how's this what sort of person writes the 35 most biggest cunts

of people he hates in comedy and he wrote these big synopsis about all of it I'm like yeah man I don't know about you. He's got a dark side.

He's definitely got a dark side. For the listener as well, number one, Kyle Chandler. You put yourself number one. I was equal. Oh, yeah. It was a funny joke. It was me and Ronnie Chang equal. Oh, man, that's horrifying.

People think I wrote that. Well, someone said it to me. Michael Hing was telling people I pissed my pants at Splendour in the Grass and I was like no I didn't I just pissed

on the ground there so things get around yeah yeah that's it well if anyone wants the full list I'll put it on Patreon

yeah cool I mean Tommy will put it on Patreon he's listening yeah and I thought it was pretty rude that you put me

at number one Tommy I thought that was pretty offensive that you put me at number one, Tommy. I thought that was pretty offensive. Felicis, you weren't really missing much in that group. The biggest thing that ever happened was a comedy manager was seen eating two burgers. Yeah, that was another great one. That took multiple days to tell the story. Yeah, that was a full day where I remember I had to leave the house to get something and I'm like, fuck, I've got to charge my phone to find out if he ate the second burger.

All right. Well, we better leave it there for another week on the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Dave O'Neill, Josh Earl, thank you for joining us. Thank you. No problem. Josh, you've got your podcast, Four Burners. Four Burners. It's on out every Wednesday this week.

I just had Poe on last week, and this week I've got the musician Darren Hanlon. He's on. Oh, Darren Hanlon. Yeah. Great. Check that out you can see some of my work on Speaks and Specks previous seasons

2017 2019 2021 it's a real ABC2 yes yes you gotta catch it 7.30 I'm on a different platform

these days yep Dave you're up and about you're ready to get your time I'm just standing up that's all yeah I've got a special coming out thanks for reminding me

on YouTube it's coming out soon that I filmed in Newcastle that'll be really really soon won't it it's this Sunday right yeah it's this Sunday the 21st

yeah you're right fresh off the yeah and my podcast is still up the Glenn Robbins one's there somehow related and

and the debrief and and the junkies which we haven't recorded for a while because Kitty's been busy fuck it's about junk food and I keep asking both of you

get me on I want to be a fucking guest on here yeah I know I know because you love that stuff I know I know

we just haven't done it for ages she's been doing that TV show well fucking TikTok guys because you and Kitty I tell you what

you're just about due for a fucking visit down to the basement TikTok a biscuit reference I like it one of my favourites Taught us how to tell the time Alright guys

Thanks very much for listening And we'll see you next time See you Maze And they've done it again They really have That's it That's it for that bit That's sealed it

Yep Bernie's kicked one on the siren A massive one That's gone over the Between the sticks Over a wheat silo. Oh, wow. Yes. It's good.

And I look forward to getting rehired on the next season of Spicks and Specks. Yep. When they hear this and they realize how badly they've done me. Yep. If there's one thing I know about human nature is that they're going to correct that. Yep. They're going to hear that and go, we better fix this treat them mean keep them keen yes we were clearly wrong and we know that now we didn't realize that before but we're at god

we're a long way away from charlie candler auditioning for 90 years got talent and now it's you going spics and specs fucked me carl over. Yeah. Nah, they didn't fuck me over. They want to be weird like that. It's fine. I got work off them for a long time and it was a bit of fun, whatever. But, I mean, there's a certain way of doing things and there's a certain way of not doing things. Like I said, you did eventually get the phone call,

which is more than typically anyone ever gets in. There you go. But again. That's showbiz as Gavin Disney once said. Yes, yes. I think it was, like I said, I suspect it's under duress. I think the, I don't know, maybe the Tea Room. Industry scuttlebutt, yeah.

Yeah, ABC got around like, I know we've gotten away with this for a long time. I know certain people who are very close to best friends with people that work in TV and they've just given them short shrift with no response and you go, fucking hell. So, yeah, it can be a bit of a business like that. I suppose a lot of businesses are a bit like that. Yeah, it's just human nature. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, it was good while it lasted.

But, you know, good luck to them. Yeah. Good luck to those recapturing the young audience with a bunch of fucking very grey-haired old people. Yep. Front of camera. Yes. Can't wait to see the TikTok challenge in this season. Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe.

Oh, good on them. Good on everyone. Yes. David O'Neill's got his special. Check that out. Oh, yeah, it's out this Sunday. If you're listening to this fresh off the presses. I'm sure he'll be hosting a watch-along or off the presses. I'm sure he'll be hosting a watch along or something on YouTube.

I'm sure he'll be. I mean, I brought it up then on the show and he'd forgotten that it was even happening. So I doubt it. Yes. But one of the greats, Dave O'Neill for sure. One of the great standups. You'll have a good time watching that show if you're listening. You will.

Check it out. You will. We should do it. We should do a watch along. Yeah. That would actually be fun. We should record our own commentary. Yeah will. Check it out. You will. We should do a watch along. Yeah. That would actually be fun. We should record our own commentary and put it out. That would be good.

Without him involved. That would actually be good. Him being involved would be funny. That's true. Because he'd be quite up for just sitting there and copying shit and thinking it's sort of funny. But us doing it, putting it on Patreon, not telling him we've done it. He would never find out. Exactly. He would never find out. Exactly.

He would never find out or understand what it was if he did find out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, Sydney, once again, Sydney, this is your last chance, last time we'll mention it. Sydney, we'd love to see you along. We've got a decent-sized venue, so we'd love to fill it up. And we've got great guests, so it will be fun. And we will be there

wanting to have fun in sydney because it seems like a fun place to be hell of a lineup um and i'm up for suggestions of what to eat afterwards oh yeah so let me know in the comments of this podcast um don't forget to like and subscribe guys and as we were talking about of course in the main episode we are on patreon patreon.com slash littledumbdumbclub. Get on there. Get your two bonus episodes every week, Monday and Friday, little mini episodes, often with the guests who you've just heard. This week is no exception.

You'll be hearing Josh and Dave again. And like we've been talking about, there's plenty of video stuff from Coast to Millie. There is still – there's a bunch of that stuff, and there is still some more to come. The three episodes that we did record over there, we have video of them. We videoed them with three cameras. So they'll be dropping very soon.

Yep. And that's very fun. It was, they're hot shows, good vibe in the room. And if you haven't been to see a live show before, this is, we've never recorded a live show. Well, video. Video wise. Yeah.

Yeah. So you will get to see what it's actually like. Yeah. So get onto that. That will be fun. That's dropping very soon. Plus, like I said, there's like five or six or something travel logs that we've got up on there. So heaps of content.

Of course, on top of everything else, it's just doing the right thing and saying thank you to us for providing you with this every week if you're that way inclined, if you feel like that. That would be much appreciated. Thank you. And you know what? Instead of just a general thank you, let's get specific, Tommy, this week. Zero in. Let's actually name some people that are responsible for this sort of generosity. Yeah.

Let's not be too relatable. Yeah. Let's just speak specifically to one person and their experience. Yeah. This is the rom know, this is the romper room segment of the show where we look through the

Patreon window and we find some people. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Michael Hill brackets Mule. Hmm. This is his little

user name. This is his handle on Patreon. Yeah, he's Gamertag. Mule. Mule. This is, you know, he's shoving this fuckingertag mule mule this is you know he's shoving this fucking money up his ass well i was yeah and then and then smuggling it through to us i was

gonna say yeah is that yeah is that a nickname or is that a yeah a description of his job yeah maybe because when you said um when you said brackets i you were going to say he's put in there, not the jeweler. Oh, that's the name of a famous jeweler in Melbourne or national or what is it? I assume it's national. It's like a chain? I assume it's Australian brand. It's a chain, Michael Hill. It's a pretty ballsy move to go, I'll just put my name, a pretty nondescript name, as the name of a jeweler.

I'm Jewelry Man. Yeah, I'm the Jewelry Man. When you think of Michael Hill, it's like, what the fuck? When you think of John Brown, we all think of beef, of course, because that's a butcher. It's like, what are you fucking talking about? There's a lot of work going on there. What are the – there is a – wait, is there a butcher chain that's like a guy's – that is that?

I don't think so. I can't think of any. How many butcher chains are there not that many but i mean you say it's a nondescript name but then you know you have the ads and everything and then all of a sudden i'm hearing the name michael hill and going oh yes the jeweler yes but so it's worked like anything you have to make fucking 1700 ads though for it if you just said my name is fucking johnny diamond the jeweler you only need one ad i reckon reckon. Yeah, that's good. That sticks in there once. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You've had to hear Michael Hill fucking heaps. Yeah, yeah. Even when I read it out, it didn't click with me. Well, I mean, yeah, but still it's gotten through to me in spite of like I'm not interested in the product at all. You know what I mean? It's just the sheer ubiquity of the stores and the ad. I only know the name of the place where I bought engagement ring for for my wife cash converters yeah yes nice i was about to say that's my only experience with dabbling in a jewelry store and now i can't remember what store i even got it from

it's left me immediately yeah i went to a place that my wife told me to go to yeah some sort of place down an alley that's like in handcrafted fucking whatever. Oh, yeah. An alley. Not an alley. Hand stuff. What? No, no, no.

Yeah. What? My wife told me to go there. No. A few pearls. What? What do you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it was a jewellery shop. Yeah. Tommy? Yeah. Yeah. what what do you mean yeah yeah yeah no it's like jewelry shop yeah tommy yeah it was upstairs in a place in the city and it was one of those weird buildings where it's like it almost feels like an apartment building and there's just like little like you know what in a movie like a detective agency you walk along and you just see like this door and you go okay Except instead of a hard-boiled fucking dick, it was a jewelry shop in this fucking office. Yeah. Like, okay. All right.

Fine. We're going there. Yeah. And that's where we got my wife's engagement ring and her wedding ring and the wedding ring that I wore for about two weeks until I lost it. Yeah. And then went and got a $2 one in Thailand instead. And then lost that.

And then lost that. What number are you on now? I believe I'm, this is either three or four. Okay. And I have two spares. Yeah, okay. Yep. That's good.

So I think I might have lost one of the spares. Okay. But I definitely have one other spare because I bought it this time in Koh Samui as well. Yep. Yep. So either three or four. I've lost either two or three plus I've lost a spare. That's such like an uncle barbecue joke.

Like, oh, yeah, eighth wedding ring. Same wife, though. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's your little shtick. Yeah. She got very upset about the first one that lost because it's like, you know, it's crazy. They're worth like, well, they were worth like $1,000 or something.

That's the main one, yeah. It's like, oh, but that was blessed and that was like whatever it was i'm like i don't know what to tell you honey it gone yeah i wonder where it is someone's someone's out there walking around with a piece of yeah podcasting history that's right no idea that's you know what i i did a thing the other day where i i was telling you about it off air um i've had the um what do you call aligners in my teeth yeah yeah ever since basically the start of covid so four years yep and i've had quite a few meetings where they go come in we're going to take it all off we're going to stop now yep like great and i've now got to the point where i walk in they go yeah we're going to stop it all and i go are we yep

and they get in there and go yeah well don't you believe us i'm like sure and then they get in there and go, yeah, well, don't you believe us? I'm like, sure. And then they walk in and go, yep, we're taking it all off now. No more aligners. And I go, okay. And then they go, except for this one little bit. And I'm like, well, well, well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, we did that the other day. And I'd gone through all the aligners and whatever.

And you go through like one a week or whatever and it got to a point where i'd gone through them all and i had to get the um like appointment and say right i'm gonna come in all that sort of stuff and they go okay great what are you up to i go i'm up to the last one they go okay oh we can't get an appointment for another three weeks four weeks or whatever okay keep wearing that one i'm like okay and then it just fucking falls to bits i lose part of it yep and then so i've only got the top half not the bottom half and so like i i tell them i give them advance warning i go bottom half not really on display all that much i have to say yeah if

you're going to only straighten one part of the teeth yep you want the top i'm feeling like i've i've done well in my subconscious losing i've lost the the right part of it. So I tell them I'm coming in and I'm like, I've lost the bottom half. They go, really? You're not supposed to lose the bottom half. I go, yeah, that's what lose means. It's not on purpose. Oh, okay. Well, you know, come in and we'll work something out.

Okay. They come in and this guy's like got the notes. He goes, it says here you lost half the aligners. You're not supposed to do that. And I go, yeah, I know that. That's what lose means. He goes, yeah, right you lost half the aligners. You're not supposed to do that. And I go, yeah, I know that. That's what lose means. He goes, yeah, right. And then I walk in and this woman goes, so you lost half the things?

And I go, is this a joke? We've never heard of something like this happening before. Yeah. Yeah. It's like they've never heard of anyone losing a piece of plastic. Yeah. When they've had it for fucking so long or whatever. And then a doctor comes in and it has happened. It's now the fourth time in two minutes that someone's coming

and gone did you lose the thing and i and i actually just stopped talking yeah like by the time the fourth woman comes in i guess when you think about it it's like well to lose it you've got like where are you really transporting it to like how often are you like i'll tell you exactly losing half of it and then also it's like it does cost a lot of money so the idea that you would just be so like flipping about it i guess is crazy to them well i guess it goes to show that it doesn't yeah they've never heard of this happening before yeah well maybe i'm the only one but it's like you know you go and you eat or you drink or something you take it out you put in your pocket or whatever and it's

like that's how it gets fucking lost. Yeah. But honestly, there was like five people who said, you're not supposed to lose that bit and I'm like, I don't want to fucking tell you guys.

It was like a fucking bad sitcom and I'm just like, in the end, they're just saying it to me and I'm just standing there going, you know what, I'm just not going to explain it again.

I reckon you guys can figure it out. you talk about losing your keys and then they will up your ass. Yeah, yeah. That's no further questions. Yes. That'll answer everything.

It's like, what am I supposed to say to it? I'm sorry for the thing I've already paid for that's gone. I don't know what to fucking say. Yeah, you guys don't lose out of it. I'm the one losing out of this. And also, we're coming in here for the end of it. It doesn't matter if it's gone because this is the end. You told me it's the end.

Well, by the way, it's not the end. Well, okay. Now I know why you're upset. I was only fixing up my teeth for the next season of Spicks and Specks. I'm not on that anymore, so who cares? I wanted to look like I was eating really well in the writer's room at lunchtime, and now I don't even have that to look forward to. I wanted to impress people.

Yeah. When I was chewing on my M&Ms for lunch. Yes. I want to impress- With my beautiful chompers. My fellow fired writers. Yeah. Now I'm just going to have to do that at Subway.

Yeah. Well, thanks, Michael Hill. Thanks, Michael Hill. Brackets Mule. Mule. Thanks, Mule. Thanks for sticking the money up your asshole and sending it straight over here to us. Thank you very much to Patience Subscriber.

But this is a tricky one. Sushante I think. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Sushante. S-O-U C-I-A M-T-E

What do you think? Sushante? Sushante? Sushante? Sushante? Sushante. Sushante? Someone from last week posted on Facebook to say that I had gotten the pronunciation of their name right. Yes. And I looked at their name and I'm like, I can't remember how I pronounced that. Yes, I was about to say. And looking at it now and then even looking at it, I'm like, you would think you could just go mentally back into that place and just, you know, say it and that'd be it. And I was like, I don't even know what I would do.

That was James Palage. P-A-L-E-J-S. I can't remember. Yeah, I don't remember what you said either. I just don't remember. I fluked it. All I'm saying is what I think now, which is probably what I said last week,

which is probably wrong. Yeah. And then I said something different and that was right and I can't remember what that is. We know you didn't say what I said. Fuck. Sushante. S didn't say what I said. So, shoot. Fuck. Sushante.

Sushante. Sushante. S-O-U-S. No, fuck. S-O-U-C-I-A-N-T-E. Sushante. Sushante. Sushante.

Yeah. It must be. Yeah. Well, thank you very much to the South American singer, I presume. That's what you are. You're listening to the show and you're chipping in some pesos, I assume. Wait, that's the whole name? That's the whole name. Oh, there's not a surname?

No. Oh, okay. That's the whole thing. Yeah, interesting. Yeah. Well, that, yeah, okay. Yeah, some sort of, that's what it sounds like to me. They're like you with your retainer.

They've lost the bottom part of their name. Yes. Well, I won't ask any further questions about it because I know how annoying it can be. Well, I mean, I... I would say one thing. I'm like the dentist. I would say one thing.

I've never heard of this happening before. There's one thing I would say. You're not supposed to lose the second half of your name. Well, you're really not. Yeah. Unless you're like, in rare exceptions... Well, no, I was going to yeah unless you're like in rare exceptions well no i was gonna say if you're like you know bono or madonna but that's not even them losing the second half of their name i would say adopting a new name i would say you're not supposed to lose anything

because lose indicates that something's like accidental or lose isn't a positive thing no yeah you're not supposed to do anything yeah negative like that lose your virginity you're supposed to do that okay well are you but again not according to do anything negative like that. Lose your virginity. You're supposed to do that. Okay. Well, are you? But again, that implies- Not according to everyone. Because losing's an accident.

Yeah. Losing's like, oh, I fucking forgot. Whereas you think about losing your virginity. You do that on purpose. It's like, I didn't really lose my virginity. I know where I left it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In a pussy tummy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My uncle's mouth. Would anyone really say that? Like, I know people have had unfortunate-

To have that happen and be that cavalier about it all these years later. Yeah. To have a horrible thing like that happen and to still go, you know what? I'm going to count it. To be well-adjusted enough. I don't want to be technically incorrect. It's a horrible memory and it's sort of badly shaped the rest of my life. Yeah, until now.

Yeah, but I must be technically correct with this. Well, as they say, you have to laugh. Yeah. Otherwise you cry. You've got to see the funny side of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The lighter side. Yeah, yeah. Always look The lighter side. Yeah, yeah.

Always look on the bright side of life. And yeah. I've never seen your cat... Being sucked off by your uncle. I've never seen your cat sit on a chair like this. I know. It's glaring at me like I'm at a job interview or something. We are recording straight after the normal app, which is not always the case.

And the cat has been doing the rounds of the house being uncomfortable with the with the visitors in the house and now has decided to sit in dave o'neill's yeah chair yeah except without the fucking frozen coke and the frozen diet coke it's probably nice and warm yeah little bottom being on yes and she's sitting here and going, I haven't been involved with anyone for quite a while. I'm, you know, I could give the mic to her at this point. She's sitting here like part of the show. It does look- Well, the cat, you know, it's probably thinking, like it knows perfectly how to pronounce Sushiante.

Right. And it's just going like, these cunts are fucking, they've got it all wrong. If only I could speak, I could convey to them how to actually pronounce this name. The cat's been quite lonely for the last two hours and is like, I will do laps of the house and then this is the last resort. It was perched on this backpack that's on the ground. Oh, really? Perfectly, you know when an animal would just kind of like wedge itself on something and

it like perfectly fills out the space? It's sort of like your cat compressed itself into the shape of a backpack. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was quite nice. of like your cat compressed itself into the shape of a backpack. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was quite nice. Yeah. The cat, when my mum comes to visit,

she on purpose packs stuff in a certain bag because one time she came down in this canvas bag. I don't know whether it's once had catnip in it or something, but she's obsessed with the smell of the bag. Oh, right. And she just sits there the whole time and fucking rolls around inside a canvas bag. Hell, yeah.

It's insane. But anyway, crunchy. She's going. Hell yeah. Anyway, crunchy. She's going all right. Well, thanks, Sushiante. Thanks, Sushiante. And yeah, I'd love to dance to your Latin beats one day. Yep. Thank you very much to patient subscriber Rose Mondu.

Mondu. M-O-N-D-O-U-X. Mondo? Mondo? Maybe Mondo. Mondo, you're right. Rose Mondo. Yeah, Mondo. M-O-N-D-O-U-X. Mondo? Mondo? Maybe Mondo. Mondo, you're right. Rose Mondo. Yeah, Mondo.

Mondo. Do a Mondo. Rose Mondo. Yeah, it's very quickly gone from a French name into a very Australian name. Yeah, Mondo. Mondo. That is the great – that is something we're good at in this country. It doesn't matter what you come in with, what sort of background that might be like deeply entrenched in the language and the vernacular of your people.

We'll find a way to make it sound like it's – no other country does that, I don't think. Well, we don't even have to – usually a big trick is to put O on the end of something, but she's already got the O on the end of something. She's done it for us. Yeah. She just thought she was going to get away with it because there's an X on the end. But we don't pronounce that bit. Australia is like the new version of like, you hear those stories of like families immigrating

and like their names just being fucked up when they got into America. You know, they're like the person filling out the form just like gave them a new name or like fucked up the translation of their name or whatever. That's what australia is now but to just everywhere people visit and it's like nah you're robo yeah yeah i went to maribor the other day and i always think of the in this case i always think of how um you know

the old school greek immigrants would come to australia and then call themselves something yeah instead of having you know seven Xs and five syllables and 17 consonants in the first name, you know, three Xs, they literally, like, there's a fish and chip shop opposite each other in High Street, Maribor. One's called Bill's Fish and one calls Steve's Fish. Both Greek? Yes, both Greek.

Neither of them, that's their name, obviously. But I drove into Maribor. And I never do this because my folks actually live outside of Maribor. So I don't tend to actually touch base much with Maribor. And I thought, I'll do it. I'll go through. So I went through. And I would say this thing about Maribor.

There's a cliche of country towns. They all shut at like fucking 7 o'clock. You can't get anything to eat or whatever. Everything's fucking shut. This thing about Maryborough, there's a cliche of country towns. They all shut at like fucking 7 o'clock. Oh, yeah. Like you can't get anything to eat or whatever. Like everything's fucking shut. And I went through at, no, it was, was it before 9? Maybe it was just after 9 o'clock. The main pub, open.

The fish and chip shops, open. Okay. All of them had people in them, customers. What night of the week are we talking? This is not a night. This is a morning. Oh, morning. 9 a.m.

9 a.m. Open. The main pub, people in there. The two fish shops, people in there. Yeah. I mean, if things close at 7, like you're saying, it's like, well, everything just shifts forward. Yeah. You've got to get your potato cakes while you can. Yeah. I mean, if things close at 7, like you're saying, it's like, well, everything just shifts forward. You've got to get your potato cakes while you can. It's like, I don't feel like one now,

but now I'm at work until 6 o'clock, and by the time I get down here, then it'll be closed. So 6 o'clock, country Victoria is 10 o'clock. I guess. Which means 9 o'clock. Is like midday. Yeah. Yeah.

It's fine. It's time for lunch. Let's get a few scallops and wash them down with a few pints it was i was very tempted to go in there yeah and get get get supplies from both of them yep um but i even me i don't think i could i could get a 9 a.m potato cake yeah that's that's a rough stuff that's that's like That's influencing the whole rest of the day. Yeah, that's... That's colouring every action from then on. It's actually wrecking any chance of having anything nice for the rest of the day

because I'm like, I don't deserve any of this stuff now. I fuck the day. You know those bad starts of the day when you go, I've got so much stuff to do and then all of a sudden you fuck around and you go, it's 12 o'clock now and I've got nothing done. What's the point of even trying today i had to stay off yeah i had a day where i was like ready to just be in the zone i got up and i'd forgotten that i'd said to my parents that i'd help them book a flight over zoom so i was like oh fuck all right i gotta do that quickly

and i don't know what happened but it was like two and a half hours later, I just came to, like got off the call and looked at the clock and I was like, it's quarter past 12. Yeah. It's fucking lunchtime now. Yeah. Like the day's gone. If you don't get that rolling start in the morning, then it's like, fuck, it's hard to bounce back from that.

It's even like today. I know this is a work day for us but we started this was we're meeting at my place at 10 yep so we do the normal we've done bonuses now we're doing this yep i dropped my kid off at nine yep by the time this finishes this is one of these days where it's like it feels like the day's gotten away all of a sudden this is my new way of fucking living like you blink and all of a sudden you've got to go and pick up the kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's gone. Yep. Holiday's gone.

Yep. I need to like, I do, it is hard to recalibrate like how you view time. Like in the sense that like if I go to, if I'm planning to go to the gym at five and I get to like two, two 30 in my head,'m like, oh, well, the day's almost done. And it's like that's so much time. It's two and a half hours is like think about sitting through a movie that's two and a half hours long. You come out and you're like that was fucking ages.

But like I've got to get, you know, it's so hard to get over that hurdle of just like how you view the time of like it's not worth fucking starting a new task now. Day's basically over. Well, today after this, there's no use in doing a to-do list. Yeah. You know, day's fucking gone. It's one o'clock.

But it's still, again, two hours. You're right. You can do some stuff. You're right. I mean, I agree. I'm wired exactly the same way. But yeah. I've got, you know,

I'll do a little mini, I'll do a little 2020, a little mini fucking to-do list. But I find that the good thing to slot into that amount of time is like your errands you go you do your shopping you do groceries you do you like your shit around the house that needs to get done yeah like if you feel like i'm just not going to get in the zone for work tasks i'll just go and i'll do all the little bits of bullshit around

the house that need to get done i'm going to do i'm going to look at my to-do list from yesterday that i fancifully filled full of stuff that i got nowhere near yep pull five things out and go right let's do these ones yep let's do these ones got my tax done the other day what a fucking feeling oh yeah oh my god yeah all I've been doing is like going I'm gonna get this done I took it with me on the plane to Koh Samui going you know what I'm gonna I've got nothing to do on the plane yep I'll do my tax and then you get up there and the same whatever the same thing is in the air that makes you overly emotional at movies made me overly i don't want to fucking do my tax yeah and did not absolutely did not do it and then it's like you convince yourself that even just like one thing that you're like oh i need to get on the internet you know i need to get into my

email to get that and then you're like well i can't do that so the whole thing's off oh wait you know what my my laptop battery doesn't last that long why even open it yep so it's all the way up there and yeah i'm in the middle and i don't want to disturb this guy i'll just watch eight movies i've changed i never used to be a movie watcher and now i am i've changed i used to be a work doer and now i'm like i can't do it so now depends on the length a nice little let's wrap this name up who is this again rose mondo rose mondo actually sounds like no anyway it sounds like one one it sounds like her name's just rose and we've just added mondo on because it's like sounds cool yeah rose mondo we saw her

writing tom mondo but it's actually her name. It's a very delicate, French, beautiful sounding name. And we've horribly abused it. Rosemary Mondo. But thanks, Mondo. Thanks, Rosie. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Beck Geary. Beck Geary. A flight where you've got enough time and you've got...

We just say the name and then continue on. Yeah. A flight where you've got like a long flight and you've got like, yeah, a bit of work tasks to do. Because the good thing about getting in the zone with that stuff on a flight is you're not aware of the time. You know, you get your thing that you need to do done and you check your watch and you're like, oh, that took me two hours of the flight. That's great. Yes. And I wasn't conscious of it.

Yes. Like a movie. I find like movies, TV shows, you know that an episode of something is an hour. Yes. So you're really conscious of like how much time of the flight you're taking up. Work or like a video game or a book that you just get completely lost and all of a sudden you're like, fuck yeah, bonus time. The same thing behind listening to podcasts on a run instead of music

because you know the songs are like three, four minutes, in my opinion. Yeah, no, I'm the opposite because the timeline, you look down at the podcast thing and that shows you. I don't look though. Yeah, okay. Why are you looking at your phone when you're running? There's stuff to other things. Because I'm changing songs every.

Well, there's stuff to look at. You should be watching and making sure you don't fall over. Taking in nature. Yes. No, I need music. I need a, yeah, I need a beat. I need distraction. I need people talking.

Yeah. And getting lost in conversation. Yeah. Like this, maybe someone's having a run right now. Yes. Yeah, fuck. I don't know. I like sports stuff to motivate myself to run.

Oh, yeah. I don't know if this, if you're running right now, let't know. I like sports stuff to motivate myself to run. Oh, yeah. I don't know if this... If you're running right now, let us know. Let us know if you've ever clocked a PB listening to Talking Dumb Dumb. Oh, yeah, listening to us talk about what we like to do on flights. Yeah. A conversation that we have maybe every three weeks. Well, we'll be on a flight in mere days, Tommy.

We'll be going to Sydney with three great guests. Milan's coming up as well. Oh, yeah. So that's something. Yep. You'll be able to be in the audience and see him there, not say anything, and go, that guy from sort of the show that doesn't really talk on it, but he gets talked about.

He's talked about a lot. Yeah. Who's more popular than us. he's like a podcast wilson yes central figure but you know you don't he's like the equivalent of you know not seeing his face i've said to him before it's funny like you know it's i've said to him you know it's cool that you're not on the show because i think you're more popular for being not on the show than being on the show just being talked about just being just being a legend on the show you don't want to like be talk on the show and like make everyone realize oh this is not as interesting as the fucking well and he doesn't have to do

icon he doesn't have to come to any of the recordings yeah he doesn't have to like worry about what to say on mike yeah this just all gets done for him i said to him the other day oh man he told me a story i'm like man i've got to talk about on the on the show about i'll wait till you're in sydney and i'll point at you and go and tell you tell this great story about you he's like okay and then the other day i said can you remember what that story was he said no so that's it so i don't have that great so you got a few days to yeah plow through the old memory bank that's it but you know i'm sure i'm sure it's there somewhere it's a story about milan so I'm sure it'll be good. But Bec Geary.

Bec Geary. I need some Geary about Milani. Ooh. Rebecca Geary. She's on the Geary. Do you think Bec had a boyfriend? Would she be on, you know, the boyfriend would describe having sex as being on the Geary. Oh, right, right, right. What did you think I was doing as being on the gear. Oh, right.

What did you think I was doing? Something about Fleety. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. That's good. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. Beck Neroin.

Yep. Yeah. Yep. Something. What's Fleety up to? Great question. Sometimes people say to me, oh, you should get Fleety on the show, of which that will not happen.

But. Yeah, I got no idea. He did get very. great question. Sometimes people say to me, oh, you should get Fleety on the show, of which that will not happen, but, um, yeah, I got no idea. It did get very, you might be writing for Speaks and Specks. Oh yeah. Imagine if you found that out.

Oh, I'd be happy with that. I'd be very happy. That'd be a funny turn of events. I would be wrapped with that because then I'd be like, well, well, well,

I'd be like, how's that going? Yep. Not well. Cause I think that's how's that going yep not well because I think that's the that would be the answer um

heals his foot goes missing yes pleads he's pawned it yep all of a sudden I go to cash

converters I buy it you can have it back you know what you gotta do you gotta hire me that's great um but he

he got he got angry with me on Facebook a while a while back yep because he we talked about it didn't we did we talk about it I don't think we did I don't think we did maybe we talked about it But he got angry with me on Facebook a while back. Yeah. Because he – We talked about it, didn't we?

Did we talk about it? I don't know. I think we did. I don't think we did. Maybe we talked about it on a bonus with Tony Martin. Oh, yeah. You're right. Maybe you're right.

You're right. Yeah. So anyway. The argument was basically him going, you should pay me to do a gig and me going, you don't do any gigs. You won't be any good. He came very angry about that. I gig all the time.

Well, that was probably six months ago I've never heard of him doing a gig since then yeah and he went public yeah put a status yes like let's make it interesting

yeah if I do well you pay me oh that's right and if I don't I pay you yeah that's right

yeah he did and you know all the friends of his on Facebook or whatever were like oh yeah that guy's mean he should give you a gig

and he should do this and I even had some of them message me and I'm like, no, he's extremely unreliable. And no, I don't want to do it. And them going, oh, okay, we didn't know that. Yeah, of course. Of course, Greg Fleet didn't admit any of his failures or any of his foibles.

That's not how he's hooked up. What a shame. Yeah, what a shame. But Becky Eerie, she's not like that. She's got her shit together. She's got her shit together so much. She's the anti-Fleety.

Yeah. She's giving money to us. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck, imagine a Fleety fan, Patreon. Yeah.

That would be the dream for him. Yep. Just people sending him money every month at the same time. And him just every month going, yeah, yeah i'm gonna put that content up soon yeah i'm just gonna i've just gotta just sorry i had the content but it's down to cash converters i mean what you're describing is sort of everyone's dream people just give me money to do literally nothing yeah but some people would feel guilty about that i would yeah well he would not, but no, I thought you were describing at the start,

it's like you're not even saying you're going to do anything. You're like, here's a Patreon, guys, just put money in there if you feel like it. Of course, but no, he would be the guy promising because he's done that multiple times. This is similar to your worst of Melbourne thing. If you put up a Patreon that was like, I don't do anything, I will not be giving you any bonus content. I will. How do you feel?

Like, guys, here it is. I'm not trying to, I am going to give you nothing for this. No. And if you want to put money in, go for it. It'll be worse. You put in, leave your address or leave your phone number. I will abuse you. I'll ring you at 3 a.m.

I will send dog shit in the mail to you. This will be a bad experience. Yeah. If you're up for it here it is no you would get people you'd get people that's like cameo yeah yeah bad cameo yeah um yeah you're gonna get pranked it will be it's kind of like you know you see those guys that they're like um the like homeless or like buskers or whatever that have the signs that are like, I am just going to use this money for drugs. Yep.

And it always goes as like a viral like, how funny is this? He's just being honest. Yes. It's a bit of you doing that. You're like, hey, look, I'm not going to – I don't want to put up a thing where I say I'm going to do all this stuff and then not do it and let you down and I feel guilty and you feel betrayed. Yeah.

I'm going to do fuck all. Yeah. There's been – there was another comedian that was like that, that did that. There was a –'m going to do fuck all. Yeah. There's been, there was another comedian that was like that, that did that. There was a, he pretended to be homeless for a day.

Oh yeah. Remember, yeah, this is years and years ago. He was like, oh yeah, I'm on the street. No.

Oh, oh, I'll give me money because I need drugs. Let's be honest. I just want drugs. And at the end of the day, he's like,

how funny is this? All I had to do was pretend to be a homeless guy and then people gave me money and I got drugs out of it. How cool is that? Cut to two weeks later. I'm properly homeless.

I don't have anywhere to live, and now I'm just doing this because I earned more money doing this, and then that's now 10 years ago. He's still doing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a bit. Oh, yeah, off the back of that, this is also a guy who got very angry with me for me not giving him a gig because he was very unreliable and abusive and bad yep and yeah so i was like i think i've got

it pretty right i think on average every time i've like knocked someone back it's like it's never been like fuck you you're not you're not on and it's turned out, oh, fuck, it's Eddie Murphy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's only been downhill from being knocked back by me. Yeah. Yeah, I wonder if you're someone who gives money to a guy who's like, give me money for drugs. Do you think if you see them then taking that money to get like, you know, a bottle of milk, you're like, what the fuck?

Yeah, yeah. Well, milk. Well, no, no, bad example. But like but like you know you just see them like getting their groceries or like yeah giving the money to their real estate yeah yeah yeah fucking going into world vision yeah yeah what is that milk thing with with drug abusers shall we say uh yeah what is it i don I don't know what that is. All of a sudden, you'll see some guy walking along with a two-liter bottle of milk

and you go, when's fucking calcium been your priority? And then it's like, oh no, it's to do with this or this or this. Yeah, I don't know what it is.

I don't know what that is. It's like a fucking nice little mango lassie. It's like, the heroin's too spicy. You need to cool it down. I don't know how that works. But if there's any junkies that listen to the show, let us know.

Let us know. Let us know. Yeah. I was talking with a friend the other day about how the idea of like high-functioning heroin users. I remember years and years and years ago when John Safran had that – he had like a panel show kind of thing. I think it was called like Speaking in Tongues. I think it was called like speaking in tongues and he had this episode where he had like yeah people who do heroin like just once every couple of months for whatever reason they're able to like do it without it ruining their lives yeah they're like it's a little you know

little release little you know weird you know and they're all like financial you treat yeah they're all like doctors lawyers and like I just found that so fascinating yeah yeah and then another dabblers yeah another friend of mine was talking about how it's they're like the cat like cocaine is like as a chemical is the thing that's like more addictive like people get addicted to the escape of heroin that it's giving them from you know they're addicted to like the like feeling that way but it's like the actual chemical component in it. That's not the thing hooking you. It's right. Cocaine's more of a psychological addiction. Yeah.

But anyway, like we were just discussing this and then another friend of ours had been in the toilet while we started the discussion and came back and he thought he was walking into a serious discussion of us going, we're going to try heroin. Right. And this friend who I was having the discussion with has had a kid like six weeks ago.

And so our friend's just losing his mind going, you've just had a baby. Don't start doing heroin. And we're like, no, we're not saying we're going to do it. When that kid was born, it felt so good and I'm chasing that high again. And I don't have time to wait for another baby to come out. That smell that they give out that's starting to fade i need something to fill that void it's starting to talk yep

growing hair yuck boring it's getting old but we just care and the more we got into it it's like i mean it is you know it would be interesting to try it and like the more we got into it the more he felt like he was the one thing standing between us and throwing our whole lives away to get on heroin. I was like, I can stop train spotting right now. 100%. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, that would be cool to do it and find that you're one of those people who can just fucking do it whenever they want without there being any consequences. Yeah. Negative effect on their life. Yeah. It is. It is funny. It is.

That nature of addiction is funny because I do have people, I do know people who are literally addicted to alcohol and then some people who hit it really hard and you're like, wow, you're close to being addicted, but then you're not. The difference between, yeah, that fine line between it can be sort of the same behaviors and going, oh, this is concerning and like, oh, you're fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. going, oh, this is concerning. Yeah.

And like, oh, you're fine. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Bec Geary, I'm glad that you are addicted to us. Yes. And – I'm glad that you're not doing dry July of this podcast. Yes. Yeah.

Thanks, Bec Geary. One more left and then we can finish this show. And I can then have two and a half hours no probably two hours ten minutes before i have to go and pick up blanket from school yep i wonder how she's gone today um she was on the docket today she was a pe today oh okay and music okay and she has it she has a girl that's older than because uh she's like one of the younger kids in the class she has a girl that's older than her because she's like one of the younger kids in the class. She has a girl that's a full year older than her. Right.

She keeps telling her that she's not good at drawing. Oh, shit. Yeah. She keeps telling her, which is like fucking, like, why do you keep doing this? But yesterday, like, yeah, I think I said this on the show. I told this on the show. My wife is like saying, you have to go and tell the teacher. You have to dob on her.

And I'm like, no, no, this, don't listen to your mum. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you were like, you'll find her flaws. Yeah, fuck her. Go and say, no, no, your drawing shitheads. Say to her, fuck you, you old bitch. Yeah. You five-year-old crone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go back to the retirement home. old bitch. Yeah. You five-year-old crone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go back to the retirement home. Fucking. Fucking hag. Yeah. You're colouring your wrinkles, you old bitch. Oh, you can colour between the lines. Yeah, yeah.

You fucking dinosaur. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, but sorry. Sorry if my colouring in doesn't fucking, you know, doesn't suit you, Dame Judi Dench or whatever the fuck you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cleopatra.

Yes, that's old. You billion-year-old bitch. Yes. Anyway, that's what she's been told. That's her homework. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Last one for this That's her homework. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Last one for this week, number five. Thank you very much to, oh, okay, this is interesting.

Thank you to Michael Hill, brackets comedy. Oh, fuck. Yeah, right. The funny jeweler. Yeah, yeah. Where they sell like diamond encrusted, like the little buzzer in your hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the like gold whoopee cushions.

Yes. Stuff like that. Yeah, when you get engaged and it's like, you know, you hold out your finger and you go, no, no, no. You need to sit down. And then she sits down and goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Congratulations.

You hold out your finger. We're engaged. I'm not putting a ring on it. I'm going to pull it. Yes. Yeah. Good stuff. All finger. We're engaged. I'm not putting a ring on it. I'm going to pull it. Yes. Yeah. Good stuff. All right.

Thanks, everyone. Thanks for supporting the show. LittleDumbDumbClub.com. Get the merch. Get your tickets to Sydney. Get on the Patreon. Do it all. Yeah.

Spend an afternoon. Treat yourself. Spend your next two and a half hours. Yes. Traveling around the Little Dumb Dumb Club website. Yeah. What a fucking little trip it is. Yeah.

It's like a theme park. It is. Thanks, everyone. See you next time. Bye. Cunt.