The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 100 - Live! Yumi Stynes, Dave Thornton, Nick Cody and Luke McGregor

Episode Date: August 21, 2012

Recorded LIVE at Softbelly Bar, August 14th, 2012.Vernon Wells, Thailand Wedding Videos and Sex With Civilians. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mate, welcome to the 100th live little dum-dum club at Soft Belly Bar. My name is Tommy Dasolo, thank you very much for joining us. Yay! My name is Tommy Dasolo, thank you very much for joining us. And standing next to me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day dickheads. Yay. This is it, this is the 100th ever episode of the program.

Is there something worth celebrating? 100 episodes of a podcast is sort of a little bit like going, well done for 10 years of high school. Yeah. Shouldn't you have found something better by now? And it's also, I've just realised, it's terms that are dictated entirely by us. It's not like we've survived 100 without being kicked off the air or anything like that. You know what I mean? We could have knocked off 100 in a week if we'd really wanted to.

This is just, we've made it a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well done on not having anything better to do. I'm still amazed that we made it past three long set of time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well done on not having anything better to do. I'm still amazed that we made it past three, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's, yeah, if we had any sense, we would have stopped, but yeah. But here we are, hey? Yeah.

With literally dozens of people. Yeah. This is a big room full of people. Give a round of applause just so people at home know that you're this full. Are we... Nah. Is this on? Is this recording? Just for everyone at home, we photoshopped that in. So, there's

no one here. This is a big deal, you know, 100 episodes. We've actually got, and this is kind of a big deal, we've had a few messages on Twitter and stuff from people who couldn't be here and a lot of people excited about us having 100 episodes. I got a thing during the week that a listener sent in,

an audio message, a congratulatory message from Vernon Wells. Now, round of applause, does anyone have any idea who that is? No, great. He's in Mad Max 2. He's an actor in Mad Max 2. What does he play? I can't remember what... It starts with W.

Does he play Mel Gibson? No. Yeah, God, what's his... Someone... I should have written this down. Someone Wikipedia him. Anyway. It's pretty impressive if you haven't worked out already.

But this... I should stress that this is not doctored. This is not made up. What I'll do is I'll play the clip. No one's questioning the doctoring because it's someone that no one knows. It really is, guys. It really is from a guy you've never heard of. Just please believe us.

Yeah. It's not just a guy in the street. It's a guy in the street that you've never heard of. Right, right, right. So basically what I'll do, we'll listen to it, and then I'll read out the story of how this ended up happening. Right. So this is film actor from Mad Max, Vernon Wells,

wishing us a happy 100th episode. Hi, this message is for Tommy and Carl. This is Vernon Wells. I'm sure you probably are wondering who the heck is that. I'm the guy out of Mad Max. So I'm just ringing you to congratulate you on your humongous 100 milestone. I have no idea what this is about. They didn't tell me.

milestone. I have no idea what this is about. They didn't tell me. They just said ring up and congratulate you on your humongous 100 milestone. So guess what? Congratulations Tommy and Carl. And as they say in all the good Australian movies, good on you

mate. See you later. That is... Hang on, what movies do they say that in? Classic Australian cinema, isn't it? I remember they said that in Young Einstein. What else was there? Has anyone looked up... Who is he in Mad Max 2?

He's Wes in Mad Max 2. I've never seen it. Someone now look up what Wes is. So this is the email that came with it that got sent to me. Howdy dum-dums, this is Graham from Calgary, Canada. To congratulate you on your 100th episode, I used Hollywood is calling to order you a celebrity phone call. I set up a voicemail number in the US so that I could get a recorded message.

Mr Wells did call, but he didn't stick to the script. I was trying to get him to say, hey mates, see you mates. Thanks dickheads, Graham. So him going, as they say in the great Australian films, good on you, mates. See you later. That's him having a crack at see you, mate. Well, I'm just glad we, like that's better I guess than getting an extra out of cool and get a gold, maybe? I don't know.

I almost think we should change the catchphrase at the end of the show. Instead of see you mates, it should be good on you mates, see you later. Don't say that because then people will mistake this podcast for a great Australian movie, so. It's Marbo, it's the vibe. Anyway, come on, mates.

See you later. Did he think Peter Russell Clarke was a great Australian movie, maybe? Now I'm obsessed with... I want this to somehow make its way back to Vernon Wells. Like, I want him to hear this podcast now. Yeah, well, it doesn't sound like he'd have much else to do so what if i just keep hot like sort of do like if i organize the hollywood is calling thing and the outgoing message is just this podcast so he has to sit through like a 55 minute thing before he can then leave a message back and he can just leave a

review i'll just say mate put whatever want, just whatever you think of it. What if in 50 years' time we're part of a service where someone gets a happy birthday party and it's like, we've got you a special service, someone that did a podcast from 50 years ago. You know Tommy and Carl? Fucking what? Someone looked them up, IMDB. But like you say, 50 years' time, we'd do that now. And we'd fuck it up too have a birthday

good on ya happy being born oh shit so I was trying to think of stuff we could do tonight that'd be you know to commemorate it being the 100th episode

and everything and I couldn't really think of anything so what I did instead was I went on IMDB and I looked up like 100 episodes of popular shows. You know, like what they did just to get some inspiration. And what I found out, you know, like 100 episodes in television in the States, that's when you hit syndication.

So that's when you can go on from being… That's like the gravy train. Yeah, that's when you go from being once a week to every night. So now in Podcast City, we can just be on five nights a week. So what I'm saying is Monday, go home, start from episode one and then kill yourself next time.

So this is some ones that I found. Some popular 100th episodes of famous shows. And if any of these you think we could do something with this tonight. Alf, the episode Hungry Like the Wolf. Fearing that he might internally blow up due to his high calorie consumption,

Alf decides to cut meat from his diet. However, after a few days, Alf turns into a wolf and steals the Tanner's car in an effort to hunt for food. It doesn't sound like a particularly 100th episode themed show, does it? No, they don't have to be. They're just carrying on. Oh, right, right, right. These aren't special. Right. This is just what their plot was that week. Right, okay.

They're cutting meat out of the diet. We've had a lot of talk about diet and exercise and stuff on this show. Yeah, it's a pretty desperate way of looking at things. Yep. I could steal your car and go to McDonald's. That's something. Yeah, no, I don't think it is. Okay, Baywatch.

Episode titled Silent Night, Baywatch Night. Part one. Man, we've got to start giving episode titles to our shows. That's a good point, actually. Yeah, what would this be? It's a Christmas theme and it's Silent Night, Baywatch Night. That must have been a good point, actually. Yeah. What would this be? It's a Christmas theme and it's Silent Night, Baywatch Night.

That must have been an all-nighter. Yeah. An all-Baywatch nighter. Yeah. So what happened? Just for a special anniversary, they wore bikinis.

In the week before Christmas, Mitch and Hobie take in a strange ten-year-old girl named Joey who turns out to be a professional con artist on the run from a local bookie. What has any of that got to do with them being on the beach?

Like, what? That could be any show. That could be ALF. Did they eat any meat? Did they mention that? No. Beverly Hills 90210, scared very straight. Donna tries to make up with David, whose increased drug use turns her away.

David also steals $150 from his father to buy more amphetamines for himself. Is this the 100th episode of Breaking Bad? This is just a list that I found on IMDb of some guy who's gone through all the 100 episodes, and some of them are just great synopses on their own and then some of them it's just the way they're written is great. This one's pretty long but I'll read out the whole thing. The Brady Bunch, Peter and the Wolf. Greg has been trying to line up a date with Sandra but the date is on only

if he can also arrange a date for her visiting cousin Linda. Greg's friends assume Linda must be ugly since Sandra has not seen her since before she entered puberty, and out of options, enlists Peter to date Linda by donning a fake moustache and filling the role of fictional friend Phil Packer. Sandra and Linda quickly suspect they are being fooled but don't let on, planning to get revenge on their next double date. The only problem is that they hatch their plans in full view of Mike, Carol and his Mexican client. Everyone's favourite member of the Brady Bunch. The Mexican client.

That was need to know basis there. What country the client came from. Oh no wait, this is actually my favourite. Magnum P.I. Magnum and Higgins are captured along with Tyler. Rick and TC rescue Magnum and the others and a gunfight ensues. Freedom wins and everyone returns home. It's a lot like this show, by the way.

What a great 100th episode. Hey, I just want to give a shout out very quickly. I don't know if he's here tonight, but friend of the show Mark Godden. No, all right. Not so great of a friend of the show. Cool. Friend of the show Mexican client. the show Mexican client Is he here? Is Vern here?

Is Vern... Vern's here? No, Vern's not here What's his name? Vernon Vernon Yeah Oh, sorry, I abbreviated to the more common Vern

I thought... He's probably copped that once or twice in his life Good on you, mate Sorry, Vernon No, no, not that one either Alright, cool Wellsy, is he here? Wes Oh, V-dub V- right, cool. Wellsy, is he here? Wes.

Oh, V-dub. V-dub? What was it? Weg? Wes. Souls. Weg. Max.

Mad Max. Are you here? Mark Goddenwright. I don't know if you guys are fans on Facebook or follow us on Twitter, but a couple of weeks ago, I had the greatest moment of my performing life, where I got on a train, and it was Friday night, and I don't know if you guys have ever been on the train where the train conductor, not train conductor, train driver will give a bit of colour to his Friday afternoon thing, and they give a bit of a shout out and go, hey guys, next stop is Sandringham, but have a good weekend

and have a few berries for me. Or, you know, whatever. Like, we'll just give you a bit of a Friday night send-off. I got on this carriage and it's sort of like white noise, you're not really taking it in. And all of a sudden I sort of tuned into someone going, If you're like me, have a great weekend. And you know what I really like to do? Get on your iPhone right now, get on iTunes and find the Little Dumb Dumb Club. It's a great little comedy podcast, get into it. No, really, guys, get on your iPhone right now, get on iTunes and find the Little Dumb Dumb Club. It's a great little comedy podcast.

Get into it. No, really, guys, get on your phone now. Little Dumb Dumb Club. And it's like his insistent nature is what my ears bricked up. And then I went, what's happening? And I literally looked around the carriage thinking, this is a sting operation. Like, this guy is on Skype from's on skype from london

just going this fuckhead will buy anything but he just so it was the repeated things like the insistence that made your ears prick up yeah your ears weren't already pricked up by going hey that's the thing that i do yeah how often does it get how often does a little dum-dum club get mentioned once on a train where you just go no no, well, that's just one. You've got to really earn it to make these ears prick up. Yeah, he was like, you know, it's got Carl Chandler in it. I'm like, fucking whatever, I'm reading the MX. Oh, hang on, hang on.

So he just kept going and even to the, I just went, what? And then all the train just started going, why is he still talking about this? And I'm like going, oh oh my God, this is awesome. And then I got off the train at South Yarra Station and I went, oh, is this just this massive coincidence? How weird is this? And I ran to the front carriage where the driver was.

Before I even got there, he was hanging out the window going, do you like that one? I'm like, yeah. The story sort of seemed like it was going to take a really violent turn when you were running towards the carriage. You're just choking him going, you love me too much. So then I was so excited. It was genuinely the most excited I've ever been. And I was like, on my own.

You arrogant little man. Yeah, yeah. Being name checked by most excited I've ever been. You've arrogant little man. Being name checked by a train driver, Clang. Then I started doing a tweet and going, oh my god, this is the best thing ever and sort of said, this is what happened. Within two minutes, Mark Godden on Twitter replied, I thought you might

like that one. Really wanted to go the G'day Dickhead option, but swearing is frowned upon. Hashtag friend of the show. But I sort of thought, you know what else is frowned upon being a train driver? Tweeting. Between South Yarra and Caulfield. What I like most about Godden's effort

is that he's a fan enough of the show to promote it over the loudspeakers and do all that. Is he here? Nah. Yeah. Mate, he's in the city loop. He's promote it over the loudspeakers and do all that. Is he here? Nah. Mate, he's in the city loop. He's got better stuff to do. Okay, fair enough. Because we've got a friend of the show, Nick Mason, down the front here

who's giving you a shout-out over a tram. Yeah, yeah. You cop the tram. Yeah, if anyone owns a hovercraft, we're ready for the sweet treble. Yeah, any blimps? Can we get a haymate on a blimp? No, we don't have a bus driver. In case that steers anyone towards

being a bus driver, maybe... Nah, okay. You'll get a mention on this at the very least. That's reason to change your whole thing. On the 200th episode, maybe. Is there anything else or should we get into it? I think we should maybe get into it. Yeah, alrighty. Guys, we've got a huge line-up of guests for

you this evening. Hopefully. Some of them are in transit. I think Mark Godden a huge lineup of guests for you this evening. Hopefully. Some of them are in transit. I think Mark Godden may be driving some of them to the gig. Man, that would be great. So it's a bunch of, we've got a bunch of, it is the 100th episode. It's a lot of our old mates, isn't it? It is. It's the best of.

Yeah, it's going to be a real hoot, Nanny. We're really stoked that you guys could be here and that these guests could be here. So let's get into it. Welcome to the stage, our first guest for this evening. He was the first ever guest on the show. Please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Nick Cody! Yay! Oh, yes.

Yeah. Best of. Did you hear that, McGregor? Best of. Nick Cody, bitches. I literally just got a missed call from Luke McGregor, so we may have to ring him later in the show. Why don't we ring him now?

Because Nick Cody just got on the stage. Thank you, everyone. Nick Cody, everyone. Cheers, guys. That's the pull that McGregor has. He just makes you forget everything else that's going on. That's amazing. If only it happened with the ladies.

Oh, don't be like that. No, it's a joke. Because McGregor's starting to take it personally when I say they're all jokes. It's comedy. So he's starting to take it personally when you say he's a hopeless cunt who women don't like? To be fair, I did not say hopeless. Nick, maybe just give us ten minutes and then we'll... Yeah, no worries.

Have you been, buddy? It's good to have you back. Oh yeah? Alright, alright. Same old. What is McGregor's number? Last time I was on the live Dum Dum Club, I had blood in my semen, so it could only go up. How did that work out? All right.

Well, not so well, obviously. Did you hear the sentence? But now by go up, do you mean like, because to me that for you, because you're a fan of, you know, talking about all that kind of stuff in your stand-up, that could mean you've now got blood in other things as well. Like for you. Fingers crossed I need a festival show.

It's all good. It's all good. Just went to Thailand, not with that bloke, but that bloke was there. Mr. Carl Chandler. Yes. Ran into him over there. I was there for different reasons. Yes.

I was there for my girlfriend's brother's wedding. And that was shit. No, see, we got the video tonight. Like, we got the video that they said, like, have a look at our pictures from the wedding and the video from the wedding, and it's like this three-and-a-half-minute thing where there's these sweeping shots and them frolicking on the beach, and that's not what happened. It was 39 degrees. Everyone was sweating. I got food poisoning.

I was vomiting for 48 hours. None of that was in the video, but that's what fucking happened at the wedding. High fives and bullshit. I hated their video. Didn't someone get stabbed at your wedding as well? Oh yeah.

Having said that, he does come from Werribee and there's been a lot of weddings he's been to. He really buried the lead on that one. Something borrowed, something blue, something, something, something dead. Yeah, there was a lady from Perth that got killed out at the front of the resort that we were staying at. You might have heard that in the news. And thank God I'd taken a crew to a ping pong show.

Otherwise it could have been us. It could have been us. You are a hero. Yeah. If I wasn't drinking buckets somewhere, passed out. If you hadn't have paid to see foreign objects in a lady's vagina, it could have been a massacre. Yeah. It could have been a foreign object in me.

Well, you would have gotten more blood, which is what you're after. I do need that shot Yeah so that happened out the front Now what happened was We went separately I was I was over there on a holiday With my girlfriend

You went with your girlfriend For a wedding And you said before you went Hey we should Hook up When we get over there We're on different islands But we should meet up

And I was like That's not going to happen Not with that attitude buddy Yeah well Why would i come i see you every night in melbourne nearly why would i see you in a different continent but for that reason but but then three nights in you get so bored doing nothing like you're supposed to do nothing on these resorts but you get very bored and then you hit me up went i might come over tomorrow. I'm like, fucking yeah. And then I said to my girlfriend, Nick and his girlfriend might be coming to our island. Our island.

Yeah, and she's like, awesome. It is good value over there. She's like, awesome. And then I realised that she was as sick of me as I was of her. She was sitting there The whole time thinking I don't want to propose To this fuckhead If

If Cody could just come over That is how you play the game If only If only this guy Had blood in his semen Yeah That doesn't quite make sense But

There are keywords in there that are funny Yeah, if anyone's been wondering what to get Carl for Christmas, there you go And by the way, it wasn't come over like, hey, I'm at this bar, you're at that bar Well, technically we were both at bars However, it was an hour and a half flight away But because I got food poisoning at the wedding I pulled that in, in the middle of my little sickness stage My girlfriend said,

would it make you feel better if we went and saw Little Chandler? I went, yeah. Yeah, there's no aeroplane jelly over there, so the next best thing is Carl Chandler. That is funny that it's that far of a flight because it's like me going, you ring me and going, what are you doing? Oh, I'm on the beach in St Kilda. Oh, I'm in Sydney.

I might come and see you. Cool. Do it. My girlfriend will love it. Yeah, the thing was, like, we met each other. It was the most romantic spot to see someone you haven't seen for a while. But we're not like those people at all. Like, we walked at each other maybe 100 metres away.

We saw each other on the beach. But normally it's like people run up and there's a warm embrace. We were just, the insults got louder as we got closer to one another. Here he is, little fuckhead in his fucking singlet with his sunburn like a dumb cunt. Fucking yeah! Good to see you too, buddy. I'm happy I flew over.

And then I like the image that you guys hug and then you turn around and your girlfriends have just fucked off. They've just left you there to die. It was a nice image, to be fair. It was nice. When I entered the scene, you were at the highest point of the beach trying to get as much coverage as you could going, where is he?

Where is he? And that actually happened. I did miss him. I did miss little cow Chandler. See, why didn't that make the wedding video? That sounds like a joyous scene. Or why didn't someone just stab us? Oh.

I was in Thailand for like nine hours on the way back from London. Clang. Yeah, we've all heard of it, guys. And I told you this before, but I heard the most amazing kind of heckle of a person. One of the guys I was with, we were coming back down into Melbourne, and my mate who I was with had changed into a tracksuit for the flight. So he gets up and he goes to change back into his normal clothes, and he's waiting by the bathroom.

He's been there for like 20 minutes. I go up and stand next to him because I need to go to the bathroom, and he's just been standing there waiting for the bathroom for like 20 minutes. They're both engaged. And I rock up and stand next to him because I need to go to the bathroom and he's just been standing there waiting for the bathroom for like 20 minutes they're both engaged and I rock up and he goes unbelievable I've been waiting here for 20 minutes

in both these bathrooms I don't know what's going on in there one door opens tiny frail little old man comes out and walks past us and my mate just as he's walking past goes how you going mate? did you enjoy your fucking

holiday in the dunny? this guy just How you going, mate? Did you enjoy your fucking holiday in the dunny? This guy. I don't know if he was deaf or didn't want any part of it or what it was, but just blanked him and just shuffled straight past him with my mate just going, yeah, yeah, see you, buddy. Yeah, good one. Was he the letter T? He was, yeah.

Because he was very negative. That is a very negative man. How much is a package deal to the letter T? He was, yeah. Because he was very negative. That is a very negative man. How much is a package deal to the dunny? Yeah, it was good stuff. All right, shall we bring on our next guest? Sure, for sure. Nick Coney, ladies and gentlemen. I'm down.

One seat, yeah. Now, McGregor, Luke McGregor, is actually doing some filming for the ABC tonight. He's on a proper grown-up TV show and he has just finished shooting, so we're trying to get him here as quickly as we can. That's bullshit. All right, you're as revved up as us?

All right, good. What do you want them to do about it? Oh, I just thought... Literally, I thought it might be Tom Jones style. There might be a flood of underwear being thrown onto the stage. Or you thought someone might fly up and go, I'll give him a lift and just race out. Mason, get on the tram.

All right, our next guest, you will know her from the circle. Please welcome back onto the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Yumi Starr. Yay! We really We have made it as difficult as we can For the guests to get onto the stage Thanks for having me, Happy 100th Thank you, thanks for coming back

That's much better than the other celebrity voice we got I know who she is Do you know who Vernon Wells is? No, I didn't You're in Showbiz, don't you meet at the Showbiz Club? You're in Showbiz too Anyway, I'm not in Showbiz. Don't you meet at the Showbiz club? You were in Showbiz too. Anyway, I'm not in Showbiz anymore.

I'm unemployed. Oh, what happened? Oh, so funny. Lady Luz's job. Let's all laugh about it. The show got axed. And by the way, keep your ping pongs away from me, all right? Oh, racist. I'm starting to get an idea of why you got axed.

Yeah, the show got axed. We got four days warning that there were no more shows. And we thought we were going to go through until December. So it was all over about two weeks ago. Right. And so since then I've been catching up on my sun baking and my brownie baking. And we had a big shin dig, you know. I thought it was going to be quite emotional, but it was.

There was lots of hugging and crying and lots of outpourings of love and stuff. And I was actually pretty knackered by the end of it. By the end of a week of that, I'd had enough. So I said, I've got to pick up the kids. So you guys, they all started drinking at about midday. By 2.45, I went, I've got to get in the car and go get the girls from school. But I was a bit pissed off because, you know,

when you've sort of worked your guts out for a big corporation, you want to be there to drink the bar dry. Yeah. And you want to be able to go, yeah, fucking, I've always wanted to tell you, you're a motherfucking pig fucker. I'm not fucking, I'm not buying you.

Someone's a pig fucker, I think they know. They don't need to be told. I'm not buying you fucking bra, shut up. And that Ab Circle bra is a piece of fucking junk. And you know it.

Did they come to the wrap? Did the information people come to the wrap? Totally did. That's awesome. Yeah, Pat Panetta was there and Nicky and Marianne. That weird little guy with the weird voice? No, no.

He's got the little voice. You? Were you there? Yeah. That is a T-Ball home run. To be fair, he did say guy. So he lives in, he did say Guy. James lives in Queensland, so he didn't come, sadly.

We missed him, though. But I did get a friend to come down from Port Douglas and he played guitar on the last show. Oh, yes. Phil. Phil Jameson. Yeah, my friend Phil Jameson, who's most famous, I think, in the mainstream, like people who don't like music and aren't young, as the guy on Enough Rope, the face of Australian ice addiction. He came in...

Oh, really? Well, isn't he? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know that thing. I once went to a restaurant with him and we were having lunch with a band of young boys. They're all about 19, 20, all handsome and rich from Sydney's North Shore. And their parents were there to have sort of an industry powwow meeting. And Philip was there and I thought, oh, they're going to be so impressed. You know, an established rock musician here,

he's going to tell the boys about what it's like. And he sat down and one of the dads went, yeah, you look kind of familiar. I saw you on Enough Rope. You're the face of Australian ice addiction. But anyway, he's not on ice. He's just a good guy and he came and played guitar. The amount of times I've heard that sentence.

He's not on ice. He's just a good guy. I think you used that sentence structure properly. Normally meant to go. Was he like, he just looks like a guy that's on the face of ice addiction? No, no, he looks great now. No, the enough rope appearance was he had been to rehab and he was pretty much the only sort of famous person

that had openly said I'd been addicted to ice in my life. And he's overcome it and he's totally fine. But he sort of represented me at the party, which was good. By doing all the ice that you went there. Because I... He was the face of Yumi Stein's ice smoking. Because I couldn't drink the bar dry because I had to pick up my kids and I also wanted to just, you know, have my family close

and shut the door and I'd had enough of the hugs and crying. Have a drink with them. Yeah. So he stayed and I texted him at about one saying, do you need me to pick you up from anywhere? And he was fast asleep because he'd been kicked out at 7.30pm and had lost his wallet. Right.

The big party at the end has already gone into legend. Apparently it was an all-day, all-night party. Cherry bar at the end. Yeah gone into legend Apparently it was an all day all night party Cherry bar at the end Yeah Who were the last people standing? I think one of them is one of your guests There she is over there Denise Drysdale What a coup

How did we make that happen? Through Vern Vernon Sorry Vernon I could see that confused look on your face What a coup. How did we make that happen? Through Vern. Vern on. Sorry, Vern on. I could see that confused look on your face. Now, you today, you tweeted about the show. And thanks very much for that.

That's very kind of you. But then I noticed the rest of the afternoon, you were just tweeting pictures of roadkill, which is that the league that we're in. It's just a whole bunch of photos of dead rats. Yeah, I saw one dead rat and then tweeted a photo of it because it sort of had this really cute little smile. And it was

lying next to a wheelie bin and a half-drunk Corona. And it just sort of looked like a vista that I wanted to share with people. This is my Melbourne snapshot. Sounds more like Nick Cody's holiday snapshot. Cute little smile. And then other people started tweeting me photos of

the roadkill that they'd snapped. It did seem like a thing where you open the floodgates without realising that you've opened like you don't know when you do it and then suddenly you're wading through hundreds of pictures of just dead shit. Because usually when they die they kind of go but this one was kind of...

Dead lolcats. Now, you were gracious enough to come onto our show before this, and on that episode, there was quite a bit of talk about you just really needing a bit of sex. And that's been fixed since then? Yeah, yeah. That's why I'm here, guys. Yeah, I

think I was actually, I was being a bit naughty last time I was on. I did have a boyfriend, but I kept him a secret. Even from us. Yeah, because I tell you what, it's bloody awesome being able to say, hey, don't fuck with me. I'm a single mum. I've got two kids, you know. And it scared me to take that away yeah for starters because it's bloody awesome making

people feel sorry for you yeah and then um and then also i didn't know you know how it was going to turn out with this guy so i didn't want to broadcast something you know i'm like one of those idiots you know making a big song and dance about it yeah like ricky nixon did with that girl yeah and then you go yeah that's gonna last and then it doesn. Yeah. Like Ricky Nixon did with that girl. Yeah. And then you go, yeah, that's going to last and then it doesn't. So I just was sussing it out, making sure that it was all right and it was pretty good. I asked him to marry me.

Oh. Who, Ricky Nixon? Vernon Wells, actually. Oh, yes. Oh, if you could pass this episode on to him, that would be great. Now you... Oh, if you could pass this episode on to him, that'd be great. Now you... Oh, Jesus. Look, you don't have to be overly scared when I nearly fall off onto you, lady.

Some people would probably like that. Now, you had a boyfriend. So you were doing a bit of a white lie to us. You did have that boyfriend already. Yeah. So that wasn't... You didn't get the boyfriend from advertising on the little dum-dum club. No.

It wasn't a friend of the show that's just pounding you into the mattress now. That's not written on my notes, to be fair. That's just, I knew you people were going to sound like that, so I said it. It's not Mark Godden, just trying it on with you between Mulvin and Nita. Stop.

Why are you still going? Stop. When I talked to you guys, I was talking a lot about criteria that I'd had. Yes. And I had a list about three pages long, and I realised that I was never going to meet that guy because there was too many reasons to strike him. So I narrowed it down to three and then I scrapped two of those and just made it one thing.

So the first three were... Must have been in Mad Max 2. Not in the original, I cannot stress that enough. Yeah. Must have a job, which had in brackets, must not spend my money. That ruled us out instantly. Must have a sense of humour and must give good head.

See, I don't feel bad from what I said before now. So I just, and then I just went, you know, fuck that. Maybe that's too hard as well. You could roll them into one though, have a sense of humour about giving head. That's just as important, isn't it? Wear a funny hat while they do it. Or roll them together giving head as a job. Is your boyfriend a male prostitute?

Anyway, then I just went, fuck it, just so long as he's got a job, that'll do. Oh, right. So he's got a job That'll do Oh right So he's not good at giving head Is what he's going to do And And The thing is

With that guy Is that at the time He didn't have a job So it was my one thing That I really was adamant about This criteria is an absolute joke This Take this seriously

So we did hit a rocky patch But then he got a job And And the rest You know So I thought I could marry this guy Oh, so did you come out publicly when he got a job? Was that his like reward?

It was weird, I nicknamed him for ages the civilian And I wouldn't say his name because I just felt so weird about it About this very private thing and talking publicly about it And he didn't work in music or media or entertainment or anything, so I considered him a civilian outside of media. Yeah. And, yeah, and just unearthing him, sort of revealing him, felt very risky.

And now I'm talking about the head he gives on your podcast. And what is his name and phone number? Now, does he give you shit for you not having a job? I'm off to work, civilian. Yeah, he doesn't want to tell people at his work about you. Oh, my girlfriend goes and does podcasts. All right. about you. Oh, my girlfriend goes and does podcasts. Alright. So you propose to him.

Which is the interesting thing because there's been a lot of talk on the show recently about this man to my right. Has there? Long overdue to propose to his girlfriend.

And we're all wondering if she's going to get fed up and just pop the question herself. Would you give her any tips that you would give her if she did, if she is listening, if she is out there somewhere? Does she like you? Yeah, it's weird. What's your head like?

Is it... I'd be insulted if that wasn't a fair question. I've never... I've never had that many complaints. Okay. Yeah. There's always room to improve. That's what we're here for, hey? I've never had that many complaints. Okay. Yeah. Okay. There's always room to improve. Yeah.

That's what we're here for, hey? No. I think if you want her, do you want her to propose? No, that's pretty, what is it, the word demasculating? I don't think that's a thing that should happen, is it? I don't know. Well, how did your... You're not giving her many options. How did your fiancé take that?

He loved it. Did he? Yeah, but I mean, I asked with a lot of certainty that he would say yes. Would you say yes if she asked? Oh, no, because... When is McGregor getting here? I don't think I could handle doing that. No, I don't want to do that. No, it is demasculating.

He spends all of his time in a thing called the Little Dum Dum Club. It's all swagger. I held hope that that was going to be positive then. Would you say no and then just propose to her the next day? The old switcheroo. Oh, man. Is that a switcheroo? It's something.

You feel a lot of pressure to make it really perfect and it's got a sort of symbolising... No, he's in it. No, I'm just a lazy man. I'm just doing this instead of getting a real job. That's a sign of what I do, I guess. Oh, God. Yeah. I'm blaming you on this. That's what I'm trying to do.

How old is she? 31. Yeah, so if I met her, if she's here... She's not here. Is she going to listen? Not now. I would say to her... This one will barely make it to iTunes. I'd say to her. This one will barely make it to iTunes. I would say to her, get pregnant.

Oh. Man, I don't think... Oh, to me. You're right. Okay. Yeah, that would work a lot better. Yeah, right. Yeah, I can see how that one works.

What else is there on this clipboard? Hey, should we bring on our next guest? Sure, let's do that. Yumi Steins, everyone. Let's just shuffle down. One more seat. Yeah. This next guy, he's been on the show a couple of times before.

He was on one of our live episodes at the Comedy Festival. He's the best looking man in Australia. Yeah, you'll know him from all sorts of things. Please welcome to the stage, Dave Thornton. Yay! There we go, guys. Not a nice addict, but just a good guy. To be fair, every time I introduce you as an MC or anything,

I always say how good-looking you are just to see what you say, and you never argue with it. What's that? Oh, no, hang on a second. The last time we did a gig was part of the Chandler Empire down there at Spleen, and that makes about as much cash as this podcast? No, this podcast makes nothing, so that's about $10 at Splane.

There you go. That's the money. That's the money down there. But not to be too blue straight off the bat, but this was my introduction. As you said, guys, welcome to the stage, Dave Thorne. Ladies, he's going to make you moist. So what's your rebuttal to that?

I don't want to sound like an unprofessional MC. I don't want to sound like an unprofessional MC. I don't want to sound like an unprofessional. Oh, no, let's not talk anymore. Luke McGregor's walked into the room. There we go. Luke McGregor has just pratfalled onto the stage. He's just walked on and just presumed he's going to stand centre stage. You can't hide behind a mic stand.

Do you want to... Hey, what if we do this? Do you want to give Luke that mic and we can share this one? Is that going to work? Sure. Let's... Get going. Do we share a mic? Is that it? Yeah, okay. That've got to get going. Oh, do we share a mic?

Is that it? Yeah, okay. It's going to work. That's all I've got. I was just going to say, let's ignore Luke McGregor. Let's ignore the Luke McGregor in the room at the moment. You mean Luke, Luke, you mean? Hi.

Hi, nice to meet you. Um, um... Does have a job. So... It's a positive, isn't it? Let's abandon what I was going to say. Luke McGregor's wrecked everything, as usual. Thanks for making it though, buddy.

Thanks for having me here. It's good to be here. Oh, you don't need your own mic. Alright. For the losers at home, there is now a pile of clothes At the foot of the stage That McGregor dropped As he tripped walking in

Don't do it now Just leave it This is being filmed Yeah Yeah yeah See there's a camera right there And explain to me Why are you putting

Your clothes back on What were you doing at the ABC That constitutes you Having to button things back up I uh Was having a threesome outside What were you doing at the ABC that constitutes you having to button things back up? I was having a threesome outside. Naked threesome. Is that on ABC too?

I don't remember catching that in the main channel. Hey, Cody. Hey, mate. Hi, mate. Yeah, so what did I miss? Let's start again. Vernon Wells phoned in. Do you know Vernon Wells? No.

Wes from Mad Max 2? Yeah. Well, he sent us a message. It was very nice. Oh, great. Actually. He saw a dead bird today. Oh, good.

It was a rat. And we were getting to know Dave Thornton as well. You know, actually, to give it some context, when you said Vernon Wells, I was like, who the fuck is this guy? So I got on my IMDB and checked it out. You mentioned Mad Max 2. As soon as I knew the other movie that he was involved in, I was oh it's that guy he's bennett from commando if you remember

just let off some steam bennett oh that's him that is way more badass now yeah what the fuck guys how could you leave that hanging they're like shitty aussie criminal yeah yeah don't remember in commando he was the guy in the mess singlet who's just like don't you remember? In Commando. He was the guy in the mess who's just like, don't need no gun, John. Don't need no gun. Fuck you, Gen Y cunts. You should know that. You should know that. What do they teach in school today?

So getting back to where were we? Dave Thornton, you're attractive. I believe that was where. Oh, get fucked. I'm scorned in my voice. Sorry to be so offensive. Yeah. What is it like?

Mate, what are you... You stood next to the missile. What are you fucking... You know. You're better. What? I'm better? Yeah. James Magnuson.

Yeah. Is he? Have you met... Oh, of course you've met him. What was he like? He was nice. He was fine. Yeah?

How was he after you fucked him for the 100 metres? We could not get access to him after that, strangely enough. It is, at the time of recording, it is the Melbourne International Film

Festival, so thank you everyone for coming down instead of going to see the screening of all of Tommy's ads for the Commonwealth Bank. Yeah.

I'm doing a panel after it as well. Yeah. Yeah. I'm doing a panel after it as well. Yeah. Look, I'm not on trial here. What is this? What are you doing? Sit down. I felt like I should give...

You look like you're getting ready to fuck off. Yeah. You look like... I felt like I should give McGregor a seat because he's looking even more awkward than usual. You go. Come on. Thank you.

Oh, man. This is not this is not good no don't do it you've got yeah alright good

good thank you I'll shut up yeah alright you okay alright I think we're good alright yeah

yeah good do you get a mic no we're gonna I'll tell you this I'll tell you this I'll tell you this quick story because you're talking about

the Chandler Empire I do run a few gigs like we're at Softbelly tonight on Thursday night it says Softbelly Comedy on Wednesday night it says Felix Barr Comedy

in St Kilda that's the end of the story just a good ad no this one happened last week the show was underway and everyone was already in there.

It was like nearly the end. And some people walked through the door and there's like a little annex at the start and then you come into the main room. And in the annex, there's really just an email list for people to sign their name to to find out who's coming up

in the next couple of weeks and whatever. Thanks for explaining what an email list is. Getting out of everyone. That was for our international listeners. And these two hobo looking guys come in and go, oh this is going to be trouble, they're going to come and wreck the gig. They walked in and as soon as they saw the email list, they made a beeline for it and then they were just there for ten minutes.

And I'm like, what are these guys doing? And then they just sort of looked up and then just walked out and I went over to see what they'd done and it was an email that said, you know, name, email address and they'd taken all this time to write their name. Am I cutting out? Yeah. They'd taken all this time to write their name

so they put, you know, Samuel K. Berkowitz, whatever it is. And then under... The Carl Chandler School of Fake Names. That's like John C. Citizen, isn't it? Well, so they put John C. Citizen, right? And then email address, not

applicable. Don't use the fucking email list. What's that got to do with Dave Thornton? I don't know. I just liked a good story. Then why did you tell that one? Good on you, mate. See you later.

You must be just a bit freaked out, Cody, at the moment with all these people listening to our podcast. No, I'm more freaked out than I'm here with people. Usually your listenership is half of what's on stage at the moment. Oh, now he's just got to bring out the facts. That hurts. That hurts. I was going to say, I'm more amazed by the fact

that everybody's speaking sentences. I bet you, Yumi, at this point in time, you're feeling real confident about things after being on a national TV show for three years. You find out what's below that. Guys squabbling over podcasts. That's what gets left. I'm going to be fine.

Yeah. You know what's the thing about this, considering it is the 100th episode, when I got the call up this afternoon. That's being edited out. That's being cut out. If it makes you feel any better, we rang a lot of people before you.

I did. G'day, Tom, Dave, whatever, mate. We won short, so if you can do Gleason's material, that would be great. I was thinking, because now this shows the evolution of you guys. I remember this is when the taping was at RMIT, many, many moons ago across there, and you used to tape it. I was on the episode where it actually came out that Dazzler was not your last name.

Yes. We spent an entire episode, you and I, ripping shit out of him, going, I'm going to edit that. I'm going to edit that. Did you not listen to the next ten episodes after that? That's all we did there I thought that was a turning point When we actually found out that we got to feel the real alls up There's a real famous moment in the show If you hadn't brought that up, I wonder if that would have come up

You would have found a way to make that come up For sure You know what I want to hear about? Because when I talked to you, you were talking about your girlfriend or lack thereof, Tommy. Yes. Because she'd gone away. No, she's here.

She's in this very room right now. But when I'd met you, she'd gone away. Yeah, she'd just gone away. Would she like to propose on stage? No. Because that's the rule. It's either February the 29th or on a podcast. The 100th and final episode of The Little Dumb Dumb Club.

Yeah, no, she's back. And, yeah, she's in this room. Because she looked worried when she'd gone. Pardon me? You looked a bit worried when she'd gone. Why are you doing this? Just wanted to check in. Everything's good.

Saying that, Dave, that we rang you today, there was someone else. I don't think he's here. He's definitely not here. Greg Fleet, friend of the show, Greg Fleet, rang today, and I don't know what he thought this was or what he'd heard from anyone. I just get a call at like 4.30 going,

yeah, your birthday tonight. Can I come and do five minutes of gear and sell a few DVDs? And I'm like, you've got everything wrong. No, well, I think he's used to using certain code words over

the phone. Phil Jamison gave us the same call. Oh, drugs. No. But you said yes and now he's not. No, he's not here. No, he's not here. Greg, are you here?

No, no Greg. No Greg. Luke McGregor. I just wanted to sit here Now Luke McGregor you were filming a TV show today That's right A current affair

I robbed a lot of old ladies of their virginity That must be bittersweet That must be bittersweet virginity. That must be bittersweet. That must be bittersweet. Everyone laughing so much at the

idea of you having sex. No, you were working with the ABC today which, oh man, this is the worst. You are

boom. ABC today, which, oh man, this is the worst. You are boom! You're... Because we've always thought you're going to be a superstar, Luke. And today, I think this is the dissent. Not the dissent. What's the opposite of dissent? Ascent. Upsent.

Anti-dissent. I think that's the term. So you're doing... From the makers of The Secret Life of Us, they're making a show about stand-up comedy. And you are in it. Yes. I have six lines in a whole season. And they are? I can't believe I got bummed.

You're going to be using that term a lot in future episodes of this show. I really thought you were going to say bummed for a minute. I thought, how fucking good is this show going to be? I changed it. I changed it at the last minute. Spoiler alert. Impro, you got rid of a consonant. Which is what the Commonwealth Bank should have done with this bloke.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Impro, you got rid of a consonant. Which is what the Commonwealth Bank should have done with this bloke. Oh yeah. That's alright, they're selling this venue anyway. Now we're going to need to buy a new air conditioner and thank God I've got some of that CBA money to help out with that, buddy. So, more lines. Luke, that's one. Oh, okay. You only did this an hour ago Sorry

I'm sorry Okay I can't believe I got bumped And the other one was That's my mum, dad and my brother drive all the way from Geelong And then the other guy says That's not your real family is it? And I go No

Anyway you don't need to watch the show now And then the other guy says, that's not your real family, is it? And I go, no. Anyway, you don't need to watch the show now. Sorry. Is it a secret? I don't know if I'm supposed to keep it a secret. If it is... That line is definitely a secret, yeah. Okay. Hey, McGregor.

That's the last episode. Why no spoiler alert in front of that? Now you've fucked it all up for everyone. If you've all seen the Dark Knight Rises if it is a secret then they're not shit

they don't have good secrets McGregor I feel like after that performance in about 10 years time somebody get picked up for birthday messages somebody

it's gonna be left like Vernon you weren't here for this were you was that no I wasn't I'm sorry in about ten years' time, somebody get picked up for birthday messages. Somebody. It's going to be left like Vernon. You weren't here for this, were you? Was I? No, I wasn't. I'm sorry. It's a callback to a thing you didn't hear, but you are still laughing anyway.

Yeah, no. If it gets me a role in Avatar 2, I'm happy. Do we want to play it again just for McGregor? No. Okay. I just like hearing Vernon's voice. So, no. So really, what was the guy from Mad Max?

Mad Max 2. All right. The best one. What's this? That's actually a camera, believe it or not. Is it? We decided... That's the bit we put to YouTube. And that bit.

Okay. It's mostly just taping your laundry at the moment. Yeah, sorry, but that's... How many characters were you playing today? There's like three changes of clothes that you've thrown on the floor. How many characters were you playing today? There's like three changes of clothes that you've thrown on the floor. Was it like an Eddie Murphy movie where you played all of this family from Jalan?

It was the hardest threesome I've ever had to film. I think it's going to come out really well. That camera's just to capture your sex tape after everyone else has left this room and you're in here. You either have to buy a t-shirt or have sex with McGregor. A little laughs. I guess that means it's good, isn't it? Yeah, that's like, yes, we will do that. Thanks, I finally made it.

Dave Thornton, you came here direct from your proper radio job. How is this stacking up so far? See the microphone that you had to share with me. Yeah, thanks, Ryan Seacrest. No, it's true. I started last week and it was actually an unravelling because my first full week of work was last week

and then I decided I haven't worked a nine-to-five job in years and so I just got polaxed for the night on Friday night but then it just turned morose when I went home on my own bought a country and western song repeated it and then went through Facebook looking at people I know going they look

so happy that's that's how I spent the night after doing a full week of work that's how I celebrated yeah and so you were one of the last people left at the circle, the wrap party? Yeah, because I've been on there four times, I think. I did a fashion segment every two weeks, which constituted me perving on Pia Miller.

And then they'd say, what's in the fashion this week? And I'd flash up a photo of a Victoria's Secret model in bikini, and I'm like, fucking that. Man, we were in the show once. We were there in one. I mean, Deslo was in the crowd, but still, that's something. So was Cody, yeah.

Oh yeah, yeah, hocking your book. What's the book's title? Funny Buggers, everyone. It's for sale at the door tonight. If you're listening to this on a podcast, don't go to your door. Yeah, you and me, as far as guests go, how did Carl stack up to the rest of the guests that you had?

Was he... I'm glad that he mentioned that's why he was on because I completely forgot why. I have met so many people, I can't remember any of them and I get... I've been doing this since I used to work at Channel V. I remember I met Akon. Remember that guy?

Yeah. And he came in the studio and like two days later, somebody emailed me a photo of us. And I went, who the fuck's that black man with his arm around me? I have no idea who that was. That's the studio. That's me. It's my face.

Gone. Who are you? You forget Akon. Wow. How long after was that? Two days. Oh, man. Were you just like, who's that black guy?

Has he got a job? And can he give head work? Plenty of questions. I think the answer to that would be yes. No, but Carl was great. Of course he was. I will have to tell you this. Wrong answer.

Sorry. This is actually a story that will never go to it, and it's lost in the annals of the Circle history. When a few weeks before you got axed, i was sent out to do a job for the uh do those brighton icebergs those old guys that swim in the bay at like six in the morning and i went down and like do a story on that and it was frighteningly cold it was disgusting and all these old boys are just looking at me like what are you doing you want to wear a wetsuit fucking what a wolf da and like they were just full-on blokes and i'm just, I just want to do this story and get by and get the circle.

Is this all about your penis size? And this is, that's where it's heading, yes. Carl gave me that introduction. I'm just going to knock it as a home run. And so we did it. And like I said, the actual story never worked out because of the shogun acts. But the cool thing is you've got to go into the sauna to acclimatise your body back from being so cold i'm sitting with all these old boys and

they're all just like so what's this what what's this show for and i said what's the circle and they're like what's the bloody circle and so as i'm trying to explain i'm gonna you me signs as i'm not not georgie coggen not chrissy swine and i was like oh denise drysdale's on it and it was almost like and i don't want to say it like this, it was just, I've never seen a bunch of old men simultaneously get an erection at one time. They lost their shit. That's not true. No. You've seen that. Oh, Juby

wasn't easy. But it was these blokes, just the conversation that went on for the next five minutes about Denise Drysdale, I was sitting there like, she is a lady. And then at the end I just said, you realise we're mic'd up for the show? And then all of them were like,

no, no, serious, man, I've got a full-time job. You can't just bloody... They were really embarrassed. Were they talking about her boobs? Yes. She had a kilogram taken off each boob. Really?

Yeah. And they're still fucking gigantic. Fuck. Bigger than my head. Stuffed into Bev Marks' mattresses. That is... That is amazing. Really?

You've got to find that tape of those old men going off. That'd be a YouTube hit. They did. They lost it as soon as you said Denise Dreisel. That's all. You drop that name in an RSL, you get a free pot. Don't you worry about that. Imagine how crazy they would have gone with the extra two kilos.

That's what I'm talking about. The good old days. Things have changed, innit? With your iPhones and your small buzzies. Since Ding Dong got aerodynamic, I've gone right on. Well, guys, we are just about near the end of the show. Please give a round of applause to Dave Thornton and Luke McGregor. Thank you.

Should we reveal our big secret finale? I don't know if it's a secret, but it's a finale. Yeah. Sure. It's something. It's something. It's definitely a thing. Where's Charlie? Is he around? Is he on board, ready to go? Are we all finale. Yeah. Sure. It's something. It's something. It's definitely a thing. Where's Charlie?

Is he around? Is he on board, ready to go? Are we all good? Yeah. Great. So tell us, how should we set this up? If you've listened to the show, hopefully there's not too many people who have stumbled in here and missed every single reference.

Oh, yeah. Tonight. Round of applause if you've never listened to the show before. Not only have you never listened to the show, you don't understand the request because you put your hand up. Not listening to the show even now. Oh, we've made a new enemy of the show. We are massive fans of the short-lived fashion,

McDonald's fashion of the shaker fries. Guys, we have got a heap of shaker fry sachets sent to us tonight by... Oh, man, I didn't write the dude's name down. Cameron Day. Cameron Day, of course. Cameron Day. Cameron Day. Who sent them to us.

How many sachets would there have been? Heaps. Like 50? Yeah, more. From a mate of his who worked at McDonald's, because they bought them back recently, the week after we'd been talking about it on the show, coincidence.

No. And now we've just got this surplus of shaker fries sachets. And about 600 apple pies. No, we don't have that. People took that seriously. Fuck, sorry. You and me, did you ever give away shaker fries mix on the circuit? What is shaker fries?

What? You know at Macca's when they would do the, like, it's like you'd get the little sachet of seasoning and you'd put your chips in a bag with the seasoning and you'd, like, shake it in a mix. I didn't come up with it. You do that in public. Mate, he tweets about that about every week.

We are this excited about seasoning on chips. But we've got heaps of them here and we've cooked up a massive thing of fries here and we've got the shaker

fries. So we've got shaker fries for everyone tonight. And for everyone listening at home, go fuck yourselves. You could have had some and you fucked it up.

Hashtag suck shit. Well, guys, that piece does bring us to the end of the 100th episode. Thank you guys so much for coming and joining us. Give a round of applause. Luke McGregor, Dave Gordon, Yumi Steins, Nick Cody. And Greg Fleet. And Greg Fleet and Greg Fleet may he rest in peace

yeah thank you guys so much for listening we'll see you next time good on you mates see you later aka see you mates

yay