The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 113 - Roadtrip Part 2: Austin, Chandler & Las Vegas

Episode Date: November 21, 2012

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Hey mates, welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo. As not always, sitting next to me in the driver's seat of a rental car, Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead! We're coming to you from West I-10. It is a highway that is taking us from where we last left you last episode. We just departed New Orleans on our way to Austin. We've been through Austin. We've been through a couple of other places in Texas, and we are now, we're about a day away from Las Vegas? We're in New Mexico. Yeah, we're in New Mexico. We've just left Texas, just driven through, I think El Paso, Texas

was the last place we went. And yeah, we've been on the road for what, about three days now? Yeah. Thanks for the great feedback for last week's little travelogue episode. This is a bit of a continuation of that theme.

An update re the abandonment of us by Nick Cody. We believe he is meeting us in Las Vegas tomorrow. Is that the information that we have? That's what we know. If we get to Las Vegas tomorrow, he will be there. Yeah, that's what we're running on the assumption of. So who knows? Also some great feedback on the memes,

the video of me asleep in a cafe. We've had a couple of great ones. Friend slash shitster of the show, Guy Shields, sent in a great parody version of that. So check that out. That's on the Facebook page. That's on the Facebook page. We've also put the raw video up. So if you fancy yourself a bit of a video whiz, get on there.

Have a bit of a muck around with it. Also, we forgot to do this the last couple of weeks. Let's just get some old business out of the way before we talk about this road trip. Wobbsy's Choice. Yes. What's the update? We've had an update. So if you heard the Adam Hills episode,

and you'll know that I got a call from some guy wanting a gig, and his audition process was thinking, I'll give you three words and then you can... You give me three words and I'll make a joke out of it. I gave him three words. He ignored one of them and made up his own horrible, horrible joke. Yeah. So then we sort of threw that out to the listeners,

made up our own three words. The idea was we're going to... Every now and then we'll give him three random words and he has to make a joke out of it. Yeah, well he yeah, he rang me he rang He says Ross boss Madly yep, and he rang me and didn't didn't go through with the formalities of saying hello or anything like that I just picked up the phone went Carl speaking and just got What's the difference? anything like that, I just picked up the phone, went, Carl speaking, and just got, what's the difference between, and, oh, look, to be honest, I don't even remember what the

joke was, because the words that we gave him were so crap, what the words were, milkshake green, and then you've said, no, no, barley belly green, and you've said milkshake, so it's sort of given him too easy of a joke, to be honest. So he's given me the absolute basics, and it wasn't very good. And he sort of, I think he pulled me up on the fact that, I think I got some of the details of the story wrong. Yeah, so I'm the bad one in the story. Okay.

So can you remember the joke he told you? Because that was the highlight of his last one, was that the setup of it was, what's the difference between these two things? But then the end was, they both... So, you know, it was like asking you what the difference are, and then the differences were that they're both the same in one way. That's what he pulled me up.

He said I got that wrong. Oh, what? It shouldn't have been that. That's what he said, so I don't remember. Oh, man. I don't know what to believe anymore. Yeah. So, yeah, we've been in contact with him.

He found out straight away. I think he... Well, here's the funny thing. He told... After talking to me on the phone that day, I immediately came and talked to you on the podcast. Yeah. He immediately went on stage and told the story on stage.

And then someone came up to him and went, I just told the story on stage and then someone came up to him and went, I just heard that story on a podcast so I don't know what his angle was on that story, like he's gone I think his angle must have been, he got up on stage and going, listen to this, jeez some people are idiots I've given this awesome joke to this bloke on the phone and he won't even book

me for a gig, what a dickhead jeez, they're a bit backwards in Melbourne aren't they yeah, wow, maybe we need to you know what, I need to be the bit backwards in Melbourne, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah, wow. Exactly. Maybe we need to, you know what, I need to be the mediator in this. I need to talk to this guy and get his right of reply. Well, you go for it. I'll put your phone number out on the podcast. Easy. No problem at all. Excellent. And with that, on the subject of that, just another thank you to everyone who's gone out

of their way to really annoy me and put my, give me a ring late at night, give me texts, give me insults. My favorite one at the moment was a bunch of schoolgirls rang me up the other day. Just giggling schoolgirls, 16-year-old girls rang up and went, Oh, this is the guy from the podcast, isn't it? Yes. Oh, okay. How's it going? Yes.

Good. I'm paying a bill at the post office. What's happening? Oh, okay. Oh, what should we write on our high school jumpers? I don't know. I don't know. You clearly haven't thought this through.

Confession time, that was me. Oh. Development, we're pulling through what appears to be some kind of, what is this, border, some kind of border protection thing. Customs, we're going through customs. Are we? US Customs and Border Protection. We are.

I think as we're leaving, I think as we're going, I think we're about to cross from New Mexico into Arizona. Is there any fruit in this podcast? There's some pretty fruity language every now and then. There's a canine on duty. What should we do? Should we just ride this out and keep recording? I'd say so.

Should we? I'd say so. Yeah. We've got nothing to hide. We've got a bit more time to chat while this is going on. There's a house in front of us, so that'll take a little while. Oh, yeah. That's what, you know, we talked about that a few weeks ago on the show, that you don't

see that much anymore. We've seen a lot of that. We saw a house get a flat before. Yeah, that man. I mean, at least if you've got to wait for the, you know, for the tow truck or whatever, at least you've got, you know, you've got your house to sit in. That's funny if you have a flat dragging a house along. You could feasibly have a chair fly out through the window.

Yeah. Or, like, if you just went... There we go. You get the flat. Hang on. Okay. Oops. Wrong window.

Yeah. That's an American citizen? No, an Australian. A YouTuber? Yeah, Australian. Where are you guys coming from? We're in Fort Stockton last night. We've been driving from Austin, and we're heading up to Las Vegas.

Do you guys have your passports? Yep. Oh, my passport. Pull over to the left right here so we can check them out. And we're back. It's just me now. Tommy has been confiscated by the customs. I had a bit of a slap on the wrist the wrist for trying to uh smuggle a little girl

across state lines but um i think the podcast is going to be better for it um so it's just me now driving to las vegas for the next 15 hours i think we're going to have a lot of fun um that was a little joke he's right here i was here all along guys i saw what you were doing early on and i thought i'm just gonna let this go for as long as i can and really put your world-renowned improvisation skills to the test um insane we had a little we had a little interruption there i did want to keep that going as long as i could uh but it started to look very sus um and also i had to get my passport out of the boot of the car, which just made it look for a second

It felt like I looked like I was just gonna do a runner Like that's not a good look when you pulled over on the side of the road You're like, oh, I've just got to get out of the car and get it I thought it was you felt guilty and you got down when that's it the jigs up and it's time to get the Mexicans out of the car So yes a lot of a lot of transporting of houses that we've seen. So what are some other highlights? Let's talk about last time we spoke, we were on our way to Austin, Texas.

Sort of very renowned as a very kind of, a bit of an oasis in the middle of a Texas renowned for being a very weird, I guess, bit of a backwards state. And Austin is kind of seen as this kind of cool, kind of very artsy community that's in the middle of not much else. We had a good time. We met up with a friend of the show. Yes, that was a bizarre thing. We met a friend of the show, his Twitter name, Bernie Lomax, CEO.

And you know what? Surprisingly normal dude. Well, apart from the bit where we got to the end of talking to him for three hours and then he went, oh, see you guys, by the way, my name's John, bye. And we had been consistently referring to him as Bernie as well. Which he then revealed, he's like, oh, that's the name of Bernie from Weekend at Bernie's. But you know, like, I don't know, I just have this thing in my head where anyone that's going to come

and meet you because you do a podcast and they listen to it, I just, the person that would do that I have in my head that they're like

a bald 40 year old man a bit overweight wearing glasses. Not that there's anything wrong with that. No, not at all. You know, he's just a normal

young looking dude, normal guy, nice fun guy. That was sort of our second interaction with internet friends. You went and met up with a friend. I did. That you've never met in real life. Yes.

A friend from a forum. And I think you left at about five in the afternoon and you estimated that you'd be done at about seven. And so I was just kind of walking around on my own and this this says a lot about my kind of general uh not so much pessimism but more like as soon as it got you said you'd be done about seven as soon as it got two minutes after that i just went well he's dead now like i just instantly went something's happened he's been he's been chopped up that's that's all the internet is good for for dying yeah, for being murdered. And I'm just starting to put it together in my head and start to plan worst case scenario like

You don't think much of people on the internet like we just continually get insulted by friends of the show online, I get rung now by people insulting me and now you think I've gone off and been murdered by the first one I meet. Well, I mean, you know, that does happen to people.

You know, it's not a normal thing to do. Like, nothing against the person that you're meeting up with. But you know what I mean? You can see my reservations. And I started thinking, you know, if it gets to 8 or 9, you know, they're having a few drinks, that's fine. But then I thought, you know, if it gets to 10, 11, what am I going to do? Then I'm starting to think, you know, this whole thing. Like, am I going to drive on or am I going to stay here in Austin and wait for you?

You hadn't driven at that stage either. No, so that's the main thing I was scared about. That's a recurring thing with me is that if people that I know are in peril, I more just get worried about how it's going to blow back on me. There's been a number of occasions where I very selfishly, like there was a night where someone I know got a cab home. They were very drunk. It was very late at night.

And I started thinking, what if something happens to them? Because I was the last person seen with them, so I'm going to get pulled in for questioning. That's going to ruin my whole life. Suddenly, I'm going to have a criminal record and all this stuff. So I'm a very self-centered man is what I'm trying to say. Austin was really good. We had some good food in Austin. We ate a lot of, what do you call them, container ships?

Yeah, food trucks. Food trucks. Container ships. Well, they were, weren't they? Some of them were. I guess, yeah, food trucks, but they're all sort of set up permanently. Yes, but that's not a truck. There's big patches of land where they've just...

That's not a truck. That's not a... It's not a shipping container. Well, it's not a van if it's a house. Okay. If something's permanently stuck in the ground, that's not a van. Look, we're both idiots. How about that?

How about we meet in the middle? Yeah, all right. We're both wrong. We agree... We disagree to disagree. We went to one where you got dinner at one, like a barbecue kind of place, where, man, that guy really, the chef kind of guy working there, the one guy working in the van cooking all the food,

he really rolled out the red carpet treatment for us. He was the best. He's having a good chat with us, and then he comes back and he goes, hey, I've got a fire and some chairs around the back if you guys want to. No, no, to be fair, now, I've got a fire and some chairs around the back. That is what I heard. Yes. And that's what i motioned to sit on what did you hear well that that was the reality what you heard yes what i heard was i've got a fire and some cherries so i thought he was like inviting us to i was like oh maybe this is a texas thing and i'm like yeah you roast cherries on the

fire yeah yeah let's go and you're like okay, if you really want to. But then I said... We went around and we sat on the chairs. Yeah, I said, did he say cherries? And you said, no, he said chairs. But then what I heard you say was, no, he said cheese. So then I'm thinking, oh, sit and melt some cheese on the fire. Okay, that makes way more sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All those people with a block of cheddar waving above a campfire, that thing that happens. So I'm sitting there for a good five minutes going, when's the bloody coon coming out? God, he's dragging his heels in this. Oh, hang on. We're in New Mexico. We're in Texas. There's no need for that. And then all of a sudden I realised, wait a minute, I'm sitting on a chair. Could it have been this all along? So, but here's the thing. There's been a few misunderstandings with people's languages between American and Australian. You're just getting confused between two Australians. That's not great.

What do you mean? Like, you're getting confused with what I said to you. No, this chair's at the back and you're interpreting that as cheese. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You are struggling if you can't even understand the block that you're travelling with. I guess I just felt like that there's chairs in front of the fire kind of goes without saying. Right. You know what I mean?

It's like, if we're going to be roasting cherries on a fire, of course we're going to have to have something to sit on. Yeah. So you don't need to, you know, it's not like they say, you know, coming up on the left, cinema with some seats. Yeah. You know, it's like built into the title. So you, I didn't actually eat at that place. You had a, what did you have, like a brisket, was it brisket? Yeah, brisket.

A brisket sandwich, which I was very jealous of, which is a rare thing on this trip because so far I'm just in this winning form where, you know, we've gone out for a lot of meals together. Yeah. And I am just picking absolute winners every time we go out. I've started just ordering what you order. Yeah, I've noticed that. At least it's a draw.

Yeah. So, yeah, that's been, I've been on some pretty sensational form of ordering. I don't know what it is. It's a bit of luck or what it is. So we went, we did a mini little Friday Night Lights tour. If you're a long time listener, you know that we do like that show. We love that show. We adore it.

And we went to Ray's Barbecue, which was featured in the show. In the latter series where the mysterious, what is it, Wes Dillon just suddenly appears

out of, this whole black community just appears as if out of nowhere. Dillon becomes a lot more urban all of a sudden. And we went and had, what did we have? We had a chopped beef sandwich, which was amazing.

Which may be the best meal I've had so far. Yeah, it was great. And then the guys working there were really nice, really funny. We said, have you got a t-shirt for sale with the logo? And they said, no. And we said, do you get a lot of tourists? And they said, yeah. Oh, maybe we should get t-shirts.

Well, the show ended four years ago, so that's good. But before that, we looked up the exterior, like the houses that they filmed where some of the characters in the show live. And that's a good photo opportunity and whatever, but it's a very weird way to spend a morning just driving to someone's house. And to be honest, I kind of was surprised that no one came out and told us to get lost because you're just driving to someone's house and i to be honest i kind of was surprised

that no one came out and told us to get lost because you're just standing on someone's front porch going yeah look at this yeah especially with getting photos it does look like you're you know you're setting up for a berg yeah casing the joint or whatever yeah so then uh from austin we drove uh oh actually i'll say this i don't think you saw this so we stayed at uh the lakinta inn in um in austin for two nights and uh when i checked in they had a little board by the front desk that said guest of the day and then a name right yeah and i kind of went oh what have you got to do to be guest of the day and she goes oh it's just drawn at random i was like oh give me a bit of you know i've got an accent give me a bit of oh, give me a bit of, you know, I've got an accent.

Give me a bit of sizzle. Give me a bit of, put a bit of, you know, pageantry to it or whatever. And I go, well, what do you get? And she goes, oh, you get like a gift basket with some stuff. And I was like, oh, can we rig it so that we get guest of the day? And she's like, oh, no, I'm sorry. No, it's too prestigious a guest of the day at the lakinta in in downtown austin yeah so i was so then i'm going it's like teslado you've got to have the

three registered judges or whatever that sit there that make sure it's not yeah so then i'm going well um how many rooms are there it's like oh about 100 i'm like i wanted 100 that's a you know there's worse odds in the world, surely. So we didn't get it, obviously. We didn't get guest of the day. We'd know by now. We'd still be in Austin, you know, living it up. With the key to the city, yeah.

But, you know what I noticed? The guest of the day did not change once while we were there. Just, it was like Mary B or something. They're not even bothering. I guess they're just figuring no one's staying here for more than a day. So the whole thing was a scam to begin with. There was never a guest of the day. There was never a gift basket on offer.

It's like when they rigged the voting elections and all of a sudden they find out that all these dead people voted for George W. Bush or whatever. Mary B has been dead for 16 years. And these fruit baskets are just piling up. Yeah, they went, one time they went, we'll get a gift basket for one person. Yeah. And then we'll just put them as the guests of the day forever. If anyone questions it, we've got a photo here of her. No one's going to know that it was taken in 1973.

We'll be fine. Man, what a hit list we're building up. We've got Nick Cody and we've got LaQuinta Inn. Jesus. So then yesterday we're building up. We've got Nick Cody and we've got Likinta Inn. Jesus. So then yesterday we drove from Austin. We kind of just headed off without any real destination, without any real, like we're gradually making our way to Las Vegas. And we ended up stopping off in a town called Fort Stockton.

Town is, I guess, a pretty generous term. Yeah, there's a main street. And not much else. Yeah. We stayed in one of the great shithole hotels of all time where the stairs leading up to our room, there was just a cinder block on the middle stair for no good reason.

At the end of the hallway, there was just a pile of dirty clothes. I'm not sure if we had a room or a tomb. I opened it up and it felt like it hasn't been open for months. It was a million degrees in there. It was very musty. It was no good. And then we went out to dinner

at a place called K-Bob's Steakhouse and the special of the day was beer served in a giant jar. Which was probably about two pints per serve. So we've, I don't think there's much else to report. You know, Fort Stockton, Stockton or Stanton? I can't forget. Fort something.

Stockton. Stockton, yeah. Very weird, yeah, weird. I liked it, I liked it. Exactly what we wanted to see in doing this trip. You know, get off the beaten track. See some of the real America. See the gritty stuff that generally only pass over.

I want to see towns that have just been broken down by some interstate highway rocking up and taking all the cars. I feel like we've seen plenty of that. Yeah. Well, we just saw a prison town before. It looked like the worst town ever. Yeah. And it said, there's a big sign saying, prison facility, do not pick up any hitchhikers. Within 100 metres, there's a guy in nondescript clothes with his thumb sticking out going,

oh man, at least get in before the sign. Like, don't be after the sign. Yeah, yeah. Walk the other way. But you know what? Good on him for giving it a nudge yeah like i wonder either that like that's so insane to me that you even need to be told not to pick up a hitchhiker but i even with the sign there there will be someone dumb enough and there was i was driving at the time and i can't say i wasn't super tempted to pick him up because you know what we put the recorder on in the back of the car even

if he wasn't a criminal, there's going to be something interesting that we picked up a hitchhiker and we're talking to someone. And that's how lowly I sort of hold my life. It might be funny, but I could easily... We could have been carjacked.

We were talking about this. We could have been carjacked in the middle of Texas, in the middle of the desert, and all of a sudden we become the people who are sticking our thumbs out on the road after a sign saying, prison facility, do not pick up hitchhikers. What I more liked, I liked the image of that guy that escaped inmate, stealing this car with all of our stuff in it, going through our stuff, finding this recorder, finding my laptop, all the upload websites for Little Dumb Dumb Club

are all logged in. And maybe taking our lives. He takes control. What if he just starts recording... He's got our passports. Yeah, he just starts recording his own episodes of Little Dumb Dumb Club and just uploading them onto my account.

He goes through the customs that we just went through and he's like, Hey, get a SA dickhead. SA dickhead! Oh, man. So where are we now? You know, this has been a big deal for us. Not only have we gotten to see Friday Night Lights territory,

but we've driven through a little bit of Breaking Bad territory, which is exciting. It's kind of cool that those two states kind of back onto each other. Instead of taking any photos with any of the sets, we've just smoked ice. So I guess, you know, we've got a little bit more driving to go tonight and then we will have not too much longer tomorrow until we're in Vegas and we're going to meet up with Nick Cody. So I guess, you know, we've been, you know, on the road for a bit now.

We're in each other's pockets a bit. How's it going? How do you think it's going? I think we're going okay. I think we're going, to be honest, I think we're going better than I expected us to go. Yeah, yeah. The snoring, your snoring hasn't been an issue for me so far. I heard you snore last night.

Did you really? Yeah, but I'm a good guy, so I don't know. You know what happened on the plane, actually? On the plane on the way over to New York the first time, I was sitting in a three-row seat, and I had a window seat, and I was really tired from Sydney to LA and then I didn't sleep much and I got on from LA to New York and it really hit me and I went, I'm going to have to go to sleep, maybe at some stage. And then you know that moment where you wake up and you sort of go, I didn't mean to go

to sleep but I think I just did go to sleep. I think. I wonder if I did and then I looked next to me and the couple that had been sitting next to me were no longer sitting next to me in a full plane. And I'm like, I reckon, without asking, I reckon I was snoring. In a full plane. They've just flushed themselves down the toilet to get out of the plane. No, thank you.

They've just commandeered the plane Con Air style. So we are heading towards, I don't quite know how to pronounce it, Tucson, Arizona. I think that's where we're going to hold ourselves up tonight. And then tomorrow, the last part of the journey, and let's sizzle this up a bit. We should record from while we're there. We are going to pass through a little town by the name of Chandler, Arizona. Look at him. He could not be more happy.

How much money do you reckon you're going to spend on merchandise? I'm actually going to spend a lot. Oh, great. Great. And if this, I'm going to, surely they'll have a Team Chandler t-shirt there. You know what? Hang on. What do you mean surely?

Why has there got to be a Team Chandler? You don't go, you don't see team Melbourne t-shirts lying around. Don't you? You don't. Oh, God. What if I get in there and let everyone know who I am? And then I've got Dum Dum t-shirts on me. Oh, yeah?

You know, I could sit up there, yeah. Why don't we try and get... Why don't we try and... No, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to buy a lot of Chandler t-shirts and then scrawl team at the top of it. Great. And then use them as our merch for now. Okay.

What about... And everyone that rings, everyone that rings me has to buy one from me. Great. Great. And then maybe later we can swing through Dasolo, New Mexico. Okay, we've made it to Chandler, Arizona. We're here in Sibley's Gift Shop with John Wolfe. Yes.

You work here? I own it. Yeah? As a proprietor, yes. My wife and I started it two years ago. Excellent. So I'm very excited because my name is Carl Chandler. I like that you forgot your own name for a second.

No, but I was thinking of how to pronounce it because everyone hears it. What was my first name? Just repeat that back to me. Cal. No. Cal. Every American either thinks my name is Kyle or Cal. It's Cal.

K-A-R-L. So you pass the test. K-A-I-L. K-A-R-L. Okay. R with an R. Oh, Carl. Yes.

Carl. You pass the citizenship test. You are an American, officially an American. Okay. But no,. Yes. Carl. You are, you've passed the citizenship test. You are an American, officially an American. Okay. But no, we're excited to be in Chandler. I'm just trying to buy everything in here that's got the word Chandler written on it. So if you want to go out the back and with a sharpie and add Chandler to anything you've got in there. I think there's a car back.

Oh, right. The Chandler mobile. Yes. So give us a bit of background. What sort of town is Chandler? Chandler is a western town. Actually, it's 100 years old this year. Great. It celebrates its centennial. It was founded.

And that's why I've been brought out here for the centennial. I've been sponsored by the city of Chandler. That's the most well-known Chandler in Australia. Make an announcement. When's the speech? Yeah. Or the performance. Yeah. And it started with a rancher called Dr. A.J. Chandler,

and he was a veterinarian of large animals. Right. And in the late 1800s, he bought 200,000 acres, I think it was, of this area, and started a ranch, and did that for about 15 years. And then in the early 1910s, he became a developer, and he, I think, saw the appeal of Arizona, and so he opened the San Marcos Hotel up the street and welcomed people in. And then once they came in, he would sell them plots of land

for a little winter getaway house. And he was an entrepreneur. At what point did he name the town after himself? Because that seems like a thing I would do as well. Yes. Well, I think that just was a natural outgrowth of it. Everyone knew it as the Chandler Ranch. He was probably selling merch back then.

He probably just had a bunch of his stuff that had Chandler written on it anyway. Probably needed to get rid of it, and uh and so he uh started the uh started the city um and it was incorporated right after the state was uh created and uh so he would bring people down he would sell them land and then the other thing is that he would bring celebrities in so if you go to the hotel they've got a little wing with some memorabilia, and it was like Clark Gable. Oh, really? Yeah, Dorothy L'Amour and all these different people.

So we should go there now and add ourselves to the list? Yes, celebrities who have visited Chilor. So just to be clear, if we go to the hotel, we'll get to interview Clark Gable? Is that how it's going to work? That might be a little tricky. He's not very responsive. No, I read, is this true? I read on Wikipedia, and

everything on there is true, isn't it? I read that Ice T lives here. Is that true? He has a home here. I have not seen him. He has not come into our shop. I haven't seen any copies of Fuck the Police for sale in here. No, we do not sell that.

You don't sell that? Right, okay. Yes. And what else? Now, it's known for, is this right? It's known for ostrich races? Yes. In the early days of Chandler, there were some ostrich farms in Chandler, and they raised ostriches for their plumes, their feathers.

And as you remember, in the 1920s, the roaring 20s, feathers were kind of a, you know, a accessory. I remember it very well. You couldn't buy liquor, but you could brace ostriches. I remember that. And so 25 years ago, they were looking to have a unique festival in Chandler. And somebody said, hey, I remember there's a story about there used to be ostrich farms here nobody knows an ostrich festival so why doesn't Chandler do an ostrich festival? Well there's probably a reason why they didn't have an ostrich festival but anyway. Yes and so there they have the races and they actually have jockeys who ride ostriches.

It's in a circle. They have ones where they pull chariots and do races around them. Do you have a cruelty to animals society over here? We have one back at home but it doesn't sound like you guys have one. I think, I don't even think the cruelty to animals people care about ostriches. Does this still happen now? Yes, every March. The second weekend in March. Maybe I could move over here and become an ostrich jockey. That'd be about the right height. Yeah. And it's not true that the losers become the ostrich burgers that they sell there.

Is there ostrich burgers? Yes, they do. Awesome. Is it good? Is it tasty? Have you had one? I have not had one, but they're apparently tasty. Okay.

I'll ask for them. So you say you'd be running this shop. You must be town proud. You must be very proud of where you're living. Yes. Would you say in an argument you would say to someone from another town, you'd say, I'm Team Chandler? That would be a thing that you would definitely say?

I don't think I've said that. But now that the seed's in your mind, that's a thing that you would probably say from now on, yeah? Probably. I think if anybody does ask, I will probably say, I'm with Team Chandler. Yeah, for sure. Or if someone does something particularly great here, you'd be like, well, that's classic Chandler. Classic Chandler? Well, it's not very old. That's the problem with Chandler is it's not a very old community.

A hundred years, that's something. We come from Australia. Everything's about 12 years old over there. What about this? This guy does a bit of stand-up comedy. If we came back here in a year's time and organised a stand-up gig for him at the local arts centre, is there a chance this gift shop would maybe get behind, give it a bit of sponsorship? Would you back that? A bit of merch. Selling our merch. We have taste.

Now that is classic Chandler. That is very classic Chandler. That doesn't sound like you're on Team Chandler. No, no, no. We have taste. And so we would have to review the comedy to make sure it was appropriate. I officially withdraw my application. There's Chandler, Oklahoma. You can still go there.

Oh, okay. Great. I'll still get another option. If it doesn't Vegas, Nevada. Three straight days of driving. 21 hours, we're finally here. This is the place Nick Cody is supposedly meeting us here. We're in Excalibur, the place that looks like if you were going to do a really bad version of Disney World.

This is what it would be. Yeah, and we've sent Cody a message. We got here a little while ago. We still haven't heard anything from him. Who knows if he... Hang on. Who's that housekeeping? It's open.

Come in. Change the sheets. Come on. Yeah, come on in. Oh, the ribbery. Oh, the ribbery. Oh! The ribbery. Oh!

Fucking Cody cunt. Oh, Jesus. A bit of theatre. A bit of theatre for the podcast. A bit of pretty Vegas language. Nick Cody. The ribbery. Welcome.

Welcome back in. Last time we heard from you on the show. Last time we heard from you, you were a friend of the show. Yeah. Yeah. Last time you heard from me, it was in Melbourne, I think. And then I deserted you on the show... Last time we heard from you, you were a friend of the show. Yeah. Last time you heard from me, it was in Melbourne, I think. And then I deserted you into the desert. Set you on your way with your little knapsack or sticker on your shoulder.

Fuck off, cunts. It's called a bindle, I believe it's a technical name. A bindle? Is it? In my mind, we were just another bunch of bodies that were buried in the Nevada desert in the friendship desert so you've bypassed we've really earned being here, we've slogged it out we've driven across the desert

it's taken us 3 days 21 hours we've had to stay in places where we may have been killed cool, I had an hour and 10 minute layover in Charlotte Charlotte, North Carolina this afternoon where I ate ribs and drank some beers. You've just been hanging out,

living it up in New York, eating pizzas, doing your little shows. Not sharing friendship like us. Not making friendships even stronger. We took a spa together. We sat in a spa together last night in the middle of the Arizona desert. It was amazing.

Yeah, I wish you'd told the New Orleans piano player that. There's a couple of game mates on a road trip. You've actually spoiled it. We were going to go from casino to casino to get them to write new songs about you tonight. What if we get the Thunder from Down Under to do somehow, they rip their pants off and they've just all got Cody on their dicks, just spinning, like their dicks coming out through Cody's mouth.

We'll go and find Wayne Newton and get him to change the lyrics to Dunkershane to Cody's shit. Not shoehorning at all there. Hey, that was quick. That was short and honest. We've only had the whole message to think about lyrics. What were you about to say?

This is what I wanted to tell you guys before. So I wanted to make a little response song and I found a homeless guy on the street in New York City with a harmonica. And I said, if I give you $10, can you say, fuck you, dum-dum club, into this camera? And then he just told me to fuck off.

What, did you give him half the money? Because you got it half right. My discounts. Oh, wow. So here we are. We're in Las Vegas. I believe you're staying in the room next to us. Yeah. By some weird... We're in Las Vegas. You, I believe you're staying in the room next to us. Yeah.

Yeah. By some weird, we're still sharing rooms. There's no need for us to still be sharing rooms. But here we are. It's our first night out in Las Vegas. What's the plan? We, from out our hotel window, we can see Hooters. Well, pretty much.

I'm trying to live the Hangover movie as close to as possible. Right. So before, for the very first first time I ironed a shirt That was a highlight of that movie That was Zach Galifianakis breakout role I think they were in all the saucy pictures at the end

trying to get the cups right It's on the unrated Blu-ray A lot of people complained in Hangover 2 when he started ironing that shirt again and it's like that was like the first one. It's like, well, that's what they liked. At least make it a different shirt, for Christ's sake. So we can see Hooters through the window.

What's our first destination? I guess we just head out onto the strip and see what happens. Is that the plan? Yeah, let's go get some food. All right, we're all hungry. We're up for getting... You, Cody, are up for just getting absolutely off your dial. Yeah.

I've got pants on now and I would like that to change. Great. Alright, well, let's head out. We've got full access to anywhere now that Cody has an iron shirt. So anything can happen now. Alright, well, let's head out. Let's hit the town and we'll catch... Am I a friend of the show again?

Well, we'll see after tonight. Tonight's an audition. What about tonight? Tonight, if I end up locked on the roof of the Excalibur and you go on a crazy 24-hour journey to rescue me, then you'll be a friend of the show. If you drug us, we lose fingers, we end up sleeping with tigers, then we might be back on.

Mike Tyson would be a good friend of the show. All right, we'll see you soon, guys. All right, so we're in Las Vegas. By this point, we've been away from home for about two weeks now. Carl, I don't know what sort of person you are, but I get homesick quite easily. I'm starting to miss Australia. I haven't really been keeping much of an eye on the news and what's going on back there.

Have you been paying any attention? A little bit, yeah. But I'm more interested in where I am now. And you know what? I think this is a sweet combo because if we hit someone up that maybe can tell us what's happening at home. Plus, I think this guy's very Las Vegas. When I think of Las Vegas, I think of this guy. Yeah, so we thought let's put in a call,

a previous friend of the show, and get an update from Australia. Hello? Hello? Who is this? Hello Oh Xavier Michaelides Jesus

We've set you up for Xavier's Corner And we want you to do the theme song Do you not understand what's going on? Do the theme song Do you want me to do it? Do you want me to do it? Okay, okay, okay Just bloody hang on then

Bloody wait Here we go Xavier's Corner Starring Xavier Mike Nipkins. This week's guests are Tommy Dassler and Carl Chandler. And welcome to Xavier's Corner this week. We have stars of Little Dumb Dumb Club, Tommy Dassler and Carl Chandler. How are you guys? Very good.

You just flipped this. Are we now in your show? Yeah, yeah. This is a show within a show, all right? Now, what I want to do is I want to start off the show with a little set. This is from your show, the little dum-dum. Hang on. So in your show that's in our show, you play clips from our show?

Is this Xavier's Corner? From your show. Is this Xavier's Corner or Inception's Corner? This is Xavier's Corner or Inception's Corner? This is Xavier's Inception Corner. Right, okay. Okay, so this is from the episode recently interviewed Luke McGregor. Okay, let's have a listen to that.

I think, I want to know what people think of this. I think Xavier's Corner should almost be a spin-off podcast. I don't think you've got it in you. Big laugh there What a sad moment when we're sitting in Las Vegas Listening to clips of our own podcast Now what I want to know is guys If Kyle specifically You didn't think I had it in me

Then why have you called me up From Las Vegas To do Xavier's Corner To prove me wrong Xavier To prove yourself wrong, Xavier. To prove yourself wrong? Yeah, yeah. I'm giving you the chance right now.

And I don't know if you're making a fist of it. You're giving me the chance? Because, guys, to be honest, I mean, the listeners might not know, but I hear behind the scenes of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. I get to hear the behind the scenes. And to be honest, between Dasilo losing episodes and Carl turning up late, I don't think you guys really have it in you. I think you're struggling equally for this thing to come together. I've got to be honest, I don't.

And I take the time out of my day. Sorry. Well, maybe you should change the name of Xavier's Corner to Little Dumb Dumb Club and just sort of take this whole thing over then? Well, I'd be happy to. I'd be happy to do that if you guys want me to take over. If you've got it in you. Because I think, I mean, let's be honest,

this is also, this is the third time we've tried to do this. Third time. Each time. I get a message from Tommy saying, oh, sorry, we got drunk. That's the perils of doing a podcast from Las Vegas, to be honest. Well, just be a little bit more professional. I don't care where you are.

I don't care where you are. Just be a little professional, all right? And be careful as well. The things I know about you two, I could literally bring the podcast down. Just saying. All right, well, let's call this an evening. Anything else you'd like to say to the listeners or say to us before we head off, Zave?

No. All right. Thanks heaps for checking in with us, buddy. Miss you. Miss you too, guys. Thanks for joining Xavier's Corner. See you, Zave. See you, guys.

Well, here we are. We are on the way out of Las Vegas. We've been on the road for about an hour now. We're on the I-15, the highway towards Los Angeles Nick Cody's in the back seat It was your first time in Las Vegas, wasn't it? Yeah It's his first time in this car as well And what were your thoughts, Cody?

It was exactly what I thought it was going to be like Booze and prostitutes and all the, you know, all the good godly stuff. We didn't really get up to too much mischief because we found a... Let's make it clear, we didn't get up to any prostitutes. Let's put a line under that.

Yeah, we got approached. Well, Cody got approached twice. Yeah. For whatever reason. But we didn't really, we basically ate every meal I think I got approached because I was yelling out where's the fucking prostitutes I thought this was Vegas and you had dollar bills stable to your forehead

we basically ate every meal at Hooters and all of our gambling was taken up by a video greyhounds machine yeah it's the equivalent of trackside if anyone's ever been into a TAB which if machine. Yeah, it's the equivalent of Trackside. If anyone's ever been into a TAB, which if you haven't, fucking grow up, go put on a punt, you fucking weak dog. It's Trackside, which is like the video greyhounds, and it was great.

We just spewed money into it, night after night. Let's be clear, we went to Las Vegas, we didn't go to see any shows, we were going to go and see Beatles Cirque du Soleil show again, we didn't go to a show, we didn't go and see bands. We We were going to go and see Beatles Cirque du Soleil show again. We didn't go to a show. We didn't go and see bands. We saw Penn & Teller. Oh, yeah, we saw Penn & Teller. But the majority of the time was spent not even on old-fashioned poker machines and not even on greyhounds, on electronic greyhounds.

And not only that, an electronic greyhound machine that was next to the elevator up to our room, about a two-minute walk from our rooms. So we didn't need to venture very far at all. Well, it sounds like you guys are complaining a lot about convenience, and that's what I love most about the machine. Depressing convenience, though. Let's get that clear. We stayed in the MGM Grand for a couple of nights and had a very bizarre time checking in.

A check-in process that took us about four hours to complete, which was good. I got called a woman to my face, which was new. One of the funniest things of all time. She didn't say, you are a woman. Yeah, she did. She basically did. No, but she didn't say. What did she say?

Is she getting a room? She said, yeah. She said to me. Yeah, do you want a room and does she want a room? Yeah, and then I just straight away said, pardon me, and then she very carefully retracted it. Yeah. So that's insulting even for girls, though,

because, you know, my mum would always be like, don't call me she, she's the cat's mother. Yeah, right. So, yeah, that was a new one. That's what we should have said to her. Don't call him she. She's the cat's mother. But, you know, like, if I was a new one. That's what we just said to her. Don't call him she. She's the Casimir. But you know, if I was a different kind of person...

Like a woman? Yeah, there's a sort of person that would... Or a man? That would really go for getting a discount out of that. I really feel like I could have pushed it. There have been several instances so far on this holiday. What if you had got really insulted and said, Oh, I demand something extra.

Give me and my husband the honeymoon suite. Because then I would have had to share a room with you. Those windows don't open, so suicide wouldn't have been an option. Which would have really limited me a few minutes in. Isn't that a shame, killing yourself on your honeymoon? Or not being able to kill yourself

on the honeymoon. So what else? Is there much else to talk about? We just walked around and drank a lot kill yourself on the honeymoon. So what else? What else? Is there much else to talk about? Or we just... We just walked around and drank a lot. Drinking on the street, which is always fun. Yeah. You don't have to hide it. Yeah.

But we pretty much just went, what, casino to casino. Had a pun at one place, have a pun at another place. We looked at a lot of very similar poker machines with different wallpaper behind them by going, you know, different place to different place. Yeah, because this is the thing. I mean, you know, we were talking about this last night is that, you know, people have this idea of Vegas being like, oh, something insane is going to happen. But it's just a big bar. If you've got 20 grand, Vegas would be the greatest spot on the planet.

Yeah. I like it that we're sitting, like, say, next to the Greyhound computer machine, and, you know, they bring you free drinks, and then you sort of tip the waitstaff, and it's sort of like, oh, sweet, hang around here for another free beer, you know? And while we're waiting, we put $20 in the machine. Yeah, of course. It's cheaper to drink in the bar.

Yeah. But there's no fucking Greyhound machine. What I'm saying, guys, if you're thinking about spending New Year's Eve somewhere, come to Nevada. The greyhound machines they have here, second to none.

Either that or go to Depto. Let's be fair, it is pretty fun. Like, you know, it is a great machine. Like, we did have some of the... It's one of those where everybody's joined in

on the same game. Yeah. Some of the best moments of my life, when I look back on it, will have been losing 50 bucks on a badly computer-rendered shitty greyhound. Yeah, some of the best moments of my life when I look back on it will have been losing 50 bucks on a badly computer rendered

shitty Greyhound. Is that what they're going to sell on the T-Tails from now on? Just 8-bit Greyhounds? Because they've tried to make it look like sort of PlayStation style graphics. It should have been like original Nintendo like really bad 8-bit

graphics. It should have been us betting on Excitebike. That would have been the best. So I think we'll call this off here. We are on our way to LA. We have a gig tonight. Next week we'll be back doing just more of a normal kind of show. We've got some guests tentatively lined up in LA. We've got some people that we hope will come through.

Thanks very much for listening. If you're listening to this the day it's come out, our live show at the Meltdown Comics, the Nerd Melt Theatre, 7.30 this Friday, November 23rd. Tickets are at nerdmeltla.com. Come down. It's going to be heaps of fun. Also, if you're getting this while we're in America,

we've got the T-shirts for sale. We've actually got some T-shirts on us, so it'll be a lot cheaper postage if you want to this while we're in America, we've got the t-shirts for sale. We've actually got some t-shirts on us, so it'll be a lot cheaper postage. If you want to grab one. Yeah, we can either post it to you, or maybe you can meet up with us on a Stars Homes tour or something that we're going to do this week.

Leave it in a jack-in-the-box. I'm planning to go to Universal Studios, so maybe we can hook up near the Simpsons ride or something. I've got clothes in my bag that haven't... They're all just different, but I need to sell them because I owe Chandler for airfare. So if anybody wants some t-shirts or fake Dolce & Gabbana boxer shorts I got in Thailand. Alright guys, thanks very much for listening and we will see you next time.

See you mates!