The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 115 - Scott Aukerman & Nick Cody

Episode Date: December 3, 2012

Disco Ducks, Illegal Cacti and Art Teachers.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting next to me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead. We are coming to you from our hotel room in the beautiful Saharan Motor Hotel. I'll pull you up there. It's coming to you from the Saharan Motor Hotel. Oh, okay.

Did I put a word in that shouldn't be in there? I believe you've misused an American word there. One of our guests today, you'll know him from the program. He's been on many times before. Was not meant to be on today. We thought he would be out watching a football game, but he is in the room hanging out.

Nick Cody. Yeah, hey. Well, I was watching it until you pulled the fucking cable out of the wall. Joining us on the show today, a very special guest. He was on the show last year when we were in LA. You'll know him as the host of Comedy Bang Bang. Please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Scott Alkerm. Yay! Hi, mate. Yes, very good. Now, you just have a look of concern on your face because we've asked you to come in and do the show. We're in a ratbag motel. It's a little sketchy here.

Yeah. How did you guys get hooked up here? The internet hooked us up. There's a lot of really skeevy hotels on Sunset Boulevard that sort of trick you into, oh, it's a good raid, and it's right there in the middle of things, and then you get here, and it's... Well, it's both of those things.

It is a good rate in the middle of things. Yeah, you're right, because everything near here is just like Bates Motel looking. Yeah, oh, there's that terrible place down the street there. It literally looks like the Bates Motel. Oh, my God, it's so scary.

But this place, we kind of love in a kind of ironic way for how shit it is. And then we were talking to people last night about it, and we've sort of discovered, no, no, it's actually really... Like, did this used to be a big kind of prostitute part of town, or...? I'm trying to think of a place that wasn't a big prostitute. Right, right. I think there was a tiny little block on Highland.

Right, right. Yeah. It's just, I mean, yeah, this place is, there's been a bit of a flurry of activity today, people coming and going. Well, I'm surprised that you guys haven't recognised where we are. I mean, a lot of people come to LA and do the tours of Maps of the Stars homes or where films have been shot and stuff like that.

I've done a little bit of research and it surprised me I haven't recognised it straight away. This is the place where they shot a lot of great movies. Movies inside here, inside this hotel. None in this room. None in this room. Like for example, there's James Woods

Cop from 1988. I love that movie. He played a cop in that, if I'm not wrong. I'm just going to have to check that. It was amazing. An officer of the law. Yeah. A cop is another.

Maybe if you're in Australia, you don't really know. A cop is an American slacker officer of the law. I believe he was busting a hooker in it. I'm pretty sure. I think all the movies here... This is the thing. The other movies are Ashton Kutcher in Spread, 2009 Spread. Remember that?

No. I don't remember that either. I just triple-checked to see if that was actually... Is the official title Ashton Kutcher in Spread? No. And the most famous, Natasha Henstridge, Species. That was a good one Oh really

I just watched that The other week Really Yeah You're watching it now A recreation of it Scott's going to take His top off

And get in the pool We're going to reenact it Here and there Nice Scott's going to take His top off Make love to you And then put a spike

Through your head Not in that order Someone tried to tell us Today that True Romance Was filmed here Did you Yeah I just looked it up And that's where I found All this us today that True Romance was filmed here. Did you discover? Yeah, I just looked it up, and that's where I found all this stuff. But no, it was not in here.

What? True Romance? True Romance is like Tarantino-written. Yes, yes, yes. No, that's not it. That's another place. I think anyone just assumes that any film that's had a shithole hotel in it must have been this joint. And that's it. I looked at all these movies, and it's all in a scene needing a sketchy hotel. It's like Natasha Hensford walks into a sketchy motel

and go on. And here you go. James Woods walks into a sketchy motel. I think this is where she first walks in to get a room. That's it. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. Like two weeks ago.

Nick's excited. All right. It's not so bad here, is it? How are the rates this great? I think my favourite feature of this room is this is what happened right after we got here

the phone rang and I went to answer it and just that there's no there's no cord connecting the receiver to the actual phone

so when we got here I think we parked our car in a spot where we weren't meant to park and they kept calling us

to tell us to move and I keep picking up but there's no way to have you call. How does it keep ringing then? Well it can ring I believe that was the phone they used in the movie Ghost. The one that we mentioned on the live show that I love

so much, you might notice there, we've got a bin from the days in. So they're just stolen. They're stealing trash cans from other hotels. Yeah. Other slightly better shitty hotels. Yeah.

So this is it. This is where we are. And, you know, this is, I mean, we're gathered around a small table with a tiny plastic recorder on it. But if I, like, if I didn't own this thing, I would think this isn't real. Like, this little toy, there's no way this is recording a podcast on it um but you know the breaking news is uh back home the studio where we normally record yes we record in a radio station back home we found out since we got here we've been booted out so once we get back home well to be fair when we say we've been booted out we mean we got booted out six

months ago and we've just been kept going in. Because we still have a security pass. You're going to be barred from coming in. Yeah, they've gotten wise and I think when we get back we'll find our security passes have been cancelled. What if they're not? Well, I mean, we'll see how we go. That's what we were told six months ago, so I'm up for going in there at midnight and driving various desperate celebrities. Yeah, yeah.

ago, so I'm up for going in there at midnight and draping various desperate celebrities in. Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, this could be every episode of our show from now on, us from a hotel in Melbourne with just this little portable club. Why'd you get kicked out? We were part of a digital radio station that went under, that went off the air, and they said, oh, well, you can't use the studio anymore, we're done. And they never took our pass office, so we just kept going in.

Wow. You guys have bulls big bulls to do that not how we pronounce it at all pirate podcasts are quite a while now it's actually a bit

depressing to think that we're going legit we're just going to have to be a real you're going to be like every other podcast in the world yeah

just a bunch of blokes on their couches we were just invited every time we'd have a guest into the studio they'd come in and go oh why are we in here? And then we'd explain

and they'd go, that is the coolest story, this is the coolest podcast, I can't wait to talk about it. And we're like, no, if you talk about it, we're done. Yeah, we'd always just

refer to it as Podcast City. So Podcast City's gone up in flames, everyone. Yeah. Yeah, that's the end of it. You can take Podcast City with you wherever you go. Yeah.

In my opinion. This is Podcast City right now. This is, well, Podcast City has really let itself go. You can take Podcast City with you wherever you go, in my opinion. This is Podcast City right now. Well, Podcast City has really let itself go. You're in your own studio, Scott, so... Just down the street, actually. Yeah, yeah. Just maybe a block away. We should have done it there, except no one's in there. Is it at the DayZ? It's at that DayZ.

Did you notice a trash can missing? Yeah. Or did they have a Sahara motor in the trash can? There's a Nerdist trash can in the corner of the hill. Trash Can Swamp. It's a great game that people love to play. I was trying to steal that Sahara motor bin out of it going, surely this is where they film species.

Now, Scott, we've got to bring this up. Tommy, bring it up. Hey, mate. Now, back home, Americans kind of tend to get a bit of a bum rap for being a bit ignorant sometimes, not really knowing things about Australia. Regarding what subject? Oh, about Australia? About Australia. Who needs to know anything about that?

That's what I wanted to say, because you, the other night, we did your gig at the UCB, the Comedy Bang Bang live night that you run. Yes. And you put forward one of the all-time stupidest theories about Australia. Stupidest? I think I've ever heard. I think if you talk to anyone here in California, I've mentioned it to a couple of people and they all go, oh, that's interesting.

I've never thought about that. Most people don't think about you guys. I actually took the time to think about it and I worked through it with you. We can talk about it. Go ahead. So what was the theory? We were talking about what time of year it is back home now. Here's the thing. It is summer. It's almost December here.

It is summer where you guys are. Yes. And so I was wondering, do you celebrate Christmas in the winter or do you celebrate it in the summer? And you looked at me like I was crazy and you said, well, we celebrated in the summer, of course, December 25th. That's when Christmas is everywhere. And I said, okay, I understand that. But then what is all the winter part of

Christmas? How does that play in for you? Because you guys are basically like wearing Bermuda shorts and sunglasses on your surfboards and stuff. And as you explained it to me, it's sort of like in California, we don't get snow either, but we imagine the places that do have snow. For sure, yeah. Right. I do believe that you asked, is the hot month summer in Australia or do you call that winter? Oh, no, well, that was the other part of it.

It was like, okay, well, do you just swap it around? Do you call winter your cold month? Yeah. Meaning July. See, that is the part that I found offensively ignorant. And it's really weird. Ignorant? I don't know how you guys have barbecues on Independence Day

when it's so cold where we're from on Independence Day. On July 4th, it's the middle of winter. You guys don't celebrate Independence Day. You're pulling my leg. What else is there? What else can we quiz Scott on about Australia? Yeah, what else can you call me ignorant about? Yeah, yeah. History. Australian colonial history.

I have no idea. Who cares? That's a same as we know. Why would anyone care? Because it's a great place. We shipped you off. You were prisoners. We let you ride. You shipped prisoners. We let you ride. You shipped us off? Well, I mean, I'm originally from England, of course. I'm a white person.

I'm saying the proud lineage of white people shipped you prisoners off. Why did you guys come to America? What was the story behind that? What was the story behind that? I remember one of us was like an African prince trying to get away from his overbearing father. And so he came out here with his friend Arsenio Hall. The royal penis was cleaned at one stage. That's about the extent of history that I remember.

We're talking about movies, about the scenes filmed here in the Saharan motor. A lot of the stuff, I'm intrigued. Now, you do a lot of scripts and stuff. You write a lot of work behind the scenes on a lot of TV shows and movies and stuff like that. As well as on screen, obviously, with your own TV show.

But it seems like an incredibly frustrating process i guess uh with all the shows that you've been involved in that to get them up or to not get them up and stuff like that like are you currently working on stuff that's trying to get up at the moment yeah i mean, you know, if you work as a writer in Hollywood, most of what you write will not get made until you reach a certain level where people are anxiously awaiting for everything that, please turn that off. Really in the middle of my soliloquy regarding Hollywood? No, but, you know, most of the stuff never makes it past the writing stage. Someone will pay you to write it,

but then it never gets up there. So yeah, right now, I've written a script right now that I'm currently in the middle of the selling process of it. I wrote it for a company who paid me to write it, and

a director wants to do it but we're going around from studio to studio trying to sell it to the studio and um that's the frustrating part and then even if one does buy it who knows if they make it by the time that the script comes out so you know it's just kind of like a huge crapshoot that you get paid very well to do yeah but that's still because there's no equivalent of like that in australia there's no going around to studios and pitching things comics comics don't make films in it like not comedy films don't really get made and there's not that's not a that's not an achievable goal for comics in australia how did paul hogan do it then i mean he he did it he made it yahoo series yeah but that was a long time ago yeah so you kind of dried up since then comedy then i mean he he did it he made it yahoo series yeah but that was a long time ago

yeah so you kind of dried up since then comedy yeah i mean there's no there's no equivalent of like a zach galifianakis who you know starts out doing stand-up gets and then gets movie roles and breaks big that doesn't really happen for anyone there's about five comedy writers in australia get regular work and they just go from show to show. Really? So it's nothing like it. So what are you guys doing here? So every show is the same, basically. Why are you there? Move out here. Look at this.

We are. Is this what this is? We live here now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I had no idea. Yeah, we were hoping that you could sponsor us to stay here. Kicked out of the studio. No reason to go back.

Yeah. Nick, what's your story? Are you going back? I do have to go back. Why do you have to go back? I have to go back on Tuesday. I come back in May, though. We don't live in Melbourne back? I do have to go back. Why do you have to go back? I come back in May, though. We don't live in Melbourne.

What does that have to do with it? Yeah, I'm not sure. Why do we get him in on this podcast? Yeah. Maybe we can just apply to get jobs here at the Saharan, and they can sponsor us. We can get a visa. We can live here. We can write for scenes that are shot in this motorway from now on.

There you go. Job number one, fix that phone. Get a cord. If you can fix that phone, you can have a job. Pitch for Species 4 to be reshot back here. That would be sweet. If there's no

carrot at the end of the stick, why would people go into show business there? I mean, TV? Yeah, there's TV. Radio. Radio. Radio is like a kind of semi-legitimate thing in Australia. We have some radio, but I mean podcasts are better.

Yeah, obviously. But that's the thing. There's actually been good radio shows in Australia before podcasts kind of got big. There are comics that are famous for being on radio. Sort of like the Flight of the Conchords on the BBC. I'm not saying they're from Australia, but they got famous on the radio

first. Breakfast radio is a big thing. Breakfast radio is the biggest carrot, just in terms of what it pays and what it can do for your profile. Not a lot of comedians. I mean, Jimmy Kimmel, I guess, and Adam Carolla came up through the radio, but other than that, there's not a lot of, you know, Rick Dees, I guess.

He made a couple of albums, comedy albums, back in the 80s. And he had Disco Duck. He sang that. Oh, wow. That sounds great. I've never heard Disco Duck. You've never heard Disco Duck? No.

I've never heard Disco Duck. You've heard of Disco Duck, right? I've heard of Disco Duck, yeah. Disco, Disco Duck. See? Have you heard of Disco Duck? No. You've heard of Disco Duck, right? I've heard of Disco Duck, yeah. Disco, Disco Duck. Yeah. See, that gives you a pretty good taste of it right there. Have you heard of those two things independently? Yeah, I know both of those words.

Okay. I've just never heard of them. Disco and Duck? Yeah. Well, you're halfway there. Have you heard of Dusk Disco? No. Dusk Disco.

No. That's a great disco that only opens up at dusk. Yeah. And then when the sun rises, it closes. So it's not a day club or a night club? No, no, it's a dusk club. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, actually, when the moon comes up, it also closes. So, yeah, just that little, when the sun is going down and it's just open for that 45 minutes. Golden hour. What about this for a pitch for a show? A CART animated series. Great, I'm in. Disco Duck. Save the rest for the pilot.

That's how easy it is in Hollywood. I've cracked the code, everyone. Disco Duck and Rock Lobster. Yes, you got it. A duck that's into disco and a rock and roll and lobster. They're best friends, but they fight all the time because they don't know whose music is better

Yeah, they agree on everything else. This goes sucks says Rob lobster and disco duck says hey rock and roll You know is dead dance music Yes Yeah Only kind of music that the only band that they agree on is kiss cuz kiss kind of across the bridge with I was Made for loving you. Yeah, that's where they met. I tell me they became friends in the first place Yeah that yeah at the kiss concert where that was the only song they could agree on. Sure.

And they looked at each other, shook, I guess, claw to paddle. The question is, is that meeting, is that the pilot? Or did we do that thing where we leave the origin until like third season? Third season, you've got to work backwards. You've got to land them you know you got to you got to land them in a in hot water pardon the expression but i mean literally perfect in a chinese restaurant um and the chinese family who owns the restaurant is going to be a big part of this okay it's a kind of a workplace slash uh family sitcom uh with a little bit of a magical

element to it um but the asian family is really going to be where the heart is found. Yeah, I love it. Carl, Nick, I've got bad news. I don't think I'm going to be joining you in working at the Saharan. I've found my own ticket out of here. Nick, he's not going back to Melbourne. I'm living here now. I'm going to be earning that sweet Matt Groening month.

Is that what sort of pictures that you're doing? Do you go into places like Paramount and stuff like that? what? Can we record our podcast in there? Do you have a security pass?

Uh, I have a security pass for one studio. I could, uh, but no. Um, but,

uh, yeah, all the time, yeah. Wow. That's, I mean, we,

we get, you know what, I've said this before, but, you know, we come to Hollywood or go to New York or whatever. It's like being in a celebrity, like everything we see. Because so many movies are shot in New York or LA.

Yeah. So it's like being inside a big celebrity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah, totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

So, like, we, I guess, I know that no one likes, what is it, entourage anymore, but you still see that and you go, oh, every time we will drive down to Hawaii, it's sort of like, man. Yeah, and you guys are in this shitty area of Hollywood as opposed to, I mean, this is like, you know, Hollywood proper where, you know, you guys are right off a Hollywood bullet. You're on Sunset, which is right next to Hollywood, but, like, most of the stuff in Entourage is kind of south of here. It's more in Beverly and Beverly Hills and stuff like that, so you guys haven't been out there, I'm sure. This strip kind of feels like the spiritual home of the Little Dum Dum Club, in that there's heaps of fast food and just mental cases, like non-stop walking up and down the street. We saw a guy crossing the road today who sort of got halfway through his walk and then he sort of

froze, like kind of mid walk, mid pose, and then he kind of went slow motion for like two steps and then whatever had to happen, happened that then clicked him into going back at full speed again. He shit his pants. You've never seen that before?

We don't have that in Australia. We have toilets. Okay, no, that's the Hollywood shit. That's what I mean. That makes so much sense now. Well, the guy yesterday that rode past us on his bike, this guy would have been 60, had a huge beard, he's just on a push bike, and he rode past and just yells out,

I agree, let's blow this pop stand. And we haven't mentioned anything about doing anything like that. I think your body language, that's the thing, though. You looked like you wanted's blow this pop stand. And we haven't mentioned anything about doing anything like that. I think your body language, that's the thing though. It looks like you wanted to blow this pop stand. Yeah. Hang on, what are pop stands over here? Pieces.

Of course, guys, you have so much to learn. Probably if we let that guy just ride by. I agree. Let's blow it. So we mentioned this before We did your gig that you run on Tuesday nights That you've recently announced you are retiring The gig is

I'm retiring, you were on one of the last ones Yeah, if you feel free I knew that when I booked you on it by the way I knew that it was the second to last one So I don't think it was coincidence And when you got a hold of me and said Hey, can we be on that? I said, ah, that'll be a little treat for these guys.

Oh, yeah. So now you've run that for, like, is it 10 years or something? 10 years and two months. So suddenly Tuesday night's completely free. Up for grabs. Up for grabs. No, for me, yeah. All those shows you've been missing out on?

It is weird. I have only, out of 10 years, I've only missed probably, I think I missed two back in 2003 or so for a family thing. And then I missed a few last year when I was doing the TV show. But yeah, I've only missed, I'd say a handful, I'd say eight over the past

10 years. And it's just kind of almost automatic to me. Now, anytime anyone sends me a, Hey, do you want to go do this thing on? And it's on a Tuesday. I'll look at it and go, ah, can't go. Um, Brendan small, just the other day, as a matter of fact, just yesterday wrote to me about this Tuesday. Hey, come see my

band Death Clock. We're at the Palladium. It's really good. And I had to say for the last time, nope, can't do it. You know, but now, yeah, it's going to be crazy being able to do whatever I want. And this is perfect because I really think that Disco Duck and Rock Lobster would really suit the Tuesday night time slot. Yes, of course.

Yeah. I mean, weekly. That's where I think it needs to go. 52 a year. 7 o'clock, 8? What is it? 7, 8 central? Is that how the times work? Yeah, yeah. Well, it's 7 o'clock 6 central. It's an hour.

Oh, okay. Right. No, I don't want that. I want it 7 the earliest. Okay, good, good. Yeah, but I don't know if you guys have ever had anything like that. I guess school is kind of like that but you're out seven the earliest okay good good yeah um but i don't know if you guys have ever had anything like that i guess school is kind of like that but you're out during the summer but something where you've had to be in one place the entire time and could never take it sure i'm in a similar position to you in that i run rooms back in melbourne right so there's like a couple of nights a week where i'm like that's it and it's on the same nights every week? Sure. Yeah, which nights are those?

At the moment it's Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. Are those Friday, Saturday and Sunday in Australia? And they're always hot. Monday's always hot regardless of what time of year. I get it. You guys have a fascinating company. And comedy is actually dancing in Australia as well. TGIW is a massive organization. Well, that's interesting.

So three nights a week, how do you do it? Do you take days off, though? Well, I am at the moment since I'm here. Yeah, that's true. No, a lot of it is doing... I was watching you the other night being backstage and going, well, that's exactly... I could see your eyes close over.

You don't need to watch the show anymore. Yes. The big bit you're getting out of the night is hanging out backstage and just talking enough comedy yeah yeah over the past no i mean that you know and that's one reason i think i sort of wanted to i don't know uh retire after so long is because i found that i wasn't really watching it anymore i think you left before the gig even finished. This will sort itself out. I do, yeah. I've been leaving sort of halfway through once I know that it's, yeah. But that's been a big reason for it.

I kind of felt like, you know what, I'm not getting a lot out of it anymore other than hanging out with my friends, which I really like. But I'm not watching it anymore, and, you, and I'm not even staying during it anymore sometimes. So I kind of thought I could just keep putting it together and all that, but I don't know, 10 years. 10 years is, yeah, for sure. Plus, even though we still constantly were having new acts on, I mean, the night you guys were there, Emily Heller did it for the first time.

having new acts on. I mean, the night you guys were there, Emily Heller did it for the first time. But at the same time, I don't think that my finger is necessarily on the pulse of new comedy anymore, new stand-up comedy. So, you know, it's time for someone else to take over, you know. Fair enough.

And there's an opening, and if you guys stay... Well, I'm sorry. We've picked up so many jobs here today. Tuesday night's free for me, so I could do Melbourne on Monday. Fly back on the record. Get the red eye back to Australia. So you've got Comedy Bang Bang, the podcast,

which just this last year has branched out into a TV show, which is that one of, if not the first, podcasts to make the transition into a TV show? I don't think necessarily. I mean, I think it's maybe the first podcast to be a regular series. But yeah, I don't think that... If we were going to do a TV show, I have to say that I would film it exactly like this,

just in a $30 a night room. In the Species Motel. Yeah, exactly. Get Natasha Henstridge in here. Why not? I mean, you know, she has directions. This has taken us about 45 minutes to get it this good, by the way. This was just... Oh, really?

So this is an improvement. We've cleaned up for you. Yeah, it's been like a school camp in here. Like, there was a moment, I think about 15 minutes before you got here, where we all looked around and went, we should probably clean this up. It was like we were all going on a date or something. I think the biggest one has been having the door open for about two hours because there

have been three dudes that have just been drinking for a week. And that's not great. It doesn't smell bad in here. It smells good. You guys are fine. Yeah, we can get away with it. I expected worse. You guys did a good job.

It looks good. But no, I think back to your point, I don't think that people should do podcasts to get TV shows out of it. No, not at all. Because I think that if you do what you love and you do something really well and you're at the top of your game, you will get opportunities from that that you don't know what they are. You know what I mean? I don't think the end game is always get a TV show or get a movie. You'll get something good out of it that you won't expect. And I certainly didn't expect the TV show out of mine.

Oh, Disco Duck and Rock Lobster. I didn't even expect that when you walked in the room. Now, here we are. Right. So I'm getting too serious for you. Is that what you're saying? You want to keep it at a facile level? Okay, I get it. I get where we're at. Sure, let's joke around. Hey, come on, guys. It's fun. Now, we did our live show last night at Meltdown Comics,

and we had someone come along who had listened to the show before, had traveled to come and see us live. Yeah, thank you, our first listener. And it was someone who had hit us up on Twitter before saying that they had had a sex dream about me. Wow. And then it went, what was it?

We quizzed her about it. Oh, it was a she. It was a she, yeah. Even better. Yeah. For you. Probably not for her, not so much. Why was I born with this cursed vagina that somehow strangely is attracted to Tommy Dazzolo.

What was the elaboration of it? It was like I was a little child that had some kind of face disfiguration and you were like my para. But what was the dream about? Yay! Dang. That is...

If I was Paramount, I would buy that sentence by then. So what happened? Nothing. What was the dream? It was about... It's a little weird getting a little strange on this side of the Atlantic. Pacific?

Where are you guys? I don't know which way you flew. Pacific. Yeah. Pacific. You flew across the Pacific? That's probably the best way. Yeah, you're right.

You're right. Yeah. Have you ever been to Australia? No, I've never been. I'd like to go sometime. Zach Galifianakis and I were talking about that. Actually, Sarah Silverman, we were all together at the Jimmy Pardo thing. Sarah

will be out there on Tuesday as well, and I don't think she's ever been. And yeah, I mean, I'd really like to go. Oh, sorry, Nick. But yeah, it's kind of I'd have to go out, I feel for some reason, like she's going for work, in other words.

I feel like I would have to go out for some reason. Otherwise, I don't know what I would do. Maybe learn about summer and winter and stuff like that. That's handy. There's a fair bit to see. It's pretty big. Yeah, but what do you do when you're there? I'm sure it's beautiful, but do you just hang out?

Hang out. It feels like if you're going to Australia, you have to go to... It is so big. It's like coming to the United States. Don't you go on holiday? Don't you have vacations? Well, barely, but yeah. For instance, I'm going to Costa Rica in about a month. Well, we're like that.

We're another country that you go to. In Costa Rica, I'm just going to sit on a beach. That's what you can do in Australia yeah we are surrounded by beaches I guess what I'm trying

to say is it feels like a waste to go to this big huge expansive country another continent yeah and just sit on

one beach on one part of it I would want to go throughout the entire thing you can go into the desert and go to like the Northern Territory

and Cairns and all that sort of stuff. But usually it's better to go for me for work because then you see more of the country

rather than just going and hanging out in one hotel. Well like I said you know we've got about five writers on TV down there

so if one of them goes on holiday you can come down and do something across the ticket line. What I was getting to before about this person coming up

to us after the live show was that you know we get weird feedback from people and our show is just a pretty standard, just chatting and interviewing and stuff whereas your show that is very can get very out there and very weird, which I imagine

does that lend itself to a more bizarre level of correspondence, like when you hear from people? The fans are all very nice't i don't think they're i don't think they're bizarre at all they're usually just very nice people right um the haters are are not nice right um i found it surprising the day I got on TV, the weird threatening correspondence level rose. Oh, right. Really? Yeah.

So that was very strange to me. Because you go from a thing where people are choosing to listen to it to suddenly you're on people's screen without them having any say so. Yeah. It was bizarre to me. I had never expected that. And I also never really thought that

much about it until I think I said this on Tig Notaro's show, but three days before the show premiered I was in a Chipotle, which is a Mexican restaurant chain. And I was kind a Chipotle, which is a Mexican restaurant chain. And I was kind of looking around and I'm often by myself.

I'm often, you know, at places just by myself, just hanging out. And I was just kind of sitting there and zoning out. And all of a sudden I was like, oh, oh, no, I hope that I can still continue to do this without being watched. Yeah. You know, because I've been around famous people and, you know, when you're in a room with a famous person, like all the energy seems to sort of turn towards them. You know, people are constantly,

even if they're in the middle of conversations that don't include them, they're sort of like performing for them a little bit it's it's a very so i just i just you know was like oh man i'm really enjoying my solitude uh and not being on anyone's radar and no one giving a shit that i'm here and and i would hate for that to change luckily the show was not a hit so but but i have had a couple of times where like I'll just be sitting there for instance I was getting a new iPhone when they came out and I was sitting there on Twitter waiting in line for it just like a normal person which is what I am and someone tweets me is this you in line

can I come up and say hi and I just start getting very i guess paranoid isn't the word but just feeling very self-conscious you know i because i'm kind of a private person i don't like to be looked at or really watched or anything like that which is a weird thing for somebody wants to get into show business but i think a lot of people want to get into show business to do the work not necessarily to be famous you know when people like that you see on programs like reality programs like american idol or whatever say they want to be famous um i don't understand it because there are a lot of people who are famous without the money and without doing good work you know there's the cory feldman's of the world and people like that who are incredibly famous and can't walk into

anywhere without everyone turning and looking at them but they have no money you know so i would much rather do good work and and have a lot of money and no one recognized me but yeah i don't know so what did you write back to the person on twitter i just got my phone and i left i started very self-conscious. You know what would have been funny? If you had faved that tweet, not responded, and then left the store without saying anything to them. That would really mess up their head. Yeah, I don't necessarily.

I think someone like Bob Odenkirk has a good level of fame, I feel, where people who recognize him know him from something that they like. And so they're like, hey, I really... And that's kind of what I have. If anyone ever recognizes me, it's because they like what I'm doing. Yeah, something that they've had to hunt out that's not just like... I think there are people that like to just, you know, if it's someone big enough, they just want to collect the set. Like they just want to have been able to say there yeah there are weird people who who obsess over

the strangest celebrities like the weirdest people will get you know crazy fans i don't really understand it you know i mean i can understand something like ryan reynolds or whatever like yeah girls go obsess over him but you know i've never been able to understand that just like nominal not good looking celebrities that people just obsess over it's very strange what about uh you you do a bit of stuff with uh zach galifianakis have you been around him because he's starting you know he's like now at a point where he's like got this huge kind of profile does he get have you ever been around him when he gets a weird hit ups in the street or anything it's been unpleasant yeah when i've been around him. It's not fun.

Right. It's not fun. Because he's got such a distinct look, too. Yeah, that's true. He doesn't show me as a person who would enjoy putting up with that sort of... No. I mean, I can't speak for him, but when you said distinct look, you made a motion to your chin. Oh, I thought he's so fat.

You should have been out here to the sides of your body. I thought he's so fat. You should have been out here to the sides of your body. No, it's not. It's that kind of fame, that kind of TMZ type fame is not fun from what I can tell. It's not fun. So, you know, but that's the problem is sometimes something that you're doing for the love of it gets, you know, really fucking huge. And you're trapped.

Yeah. Well, you know what? You haven't really turned me off it. Disco Duck and Rock Lobster, I'm braced for that. I'm fine with it. How does Rick Dees walk down the street? How does Fred Schneider from the B-52s ever get anything done? He's sitting in a Chipotle going, yeah, I want the carnitas

well I think that's just about all the time we have really that's it you want to keep going

I'll keep going I don't care I like that this is the first time the guest has ever shut down the end of an episode

normally before I've even finished the sentence that's all we have they're fucking out the door I think it's the first time anyone's

ever been in the Sahara motorway and saying, can I stay longer than I originally planned. Well, we did that. We were meant to check out today to go to San Francisco, and instead of going, no, you know what, let's try and find somewhere at least a little bit better, we've gone in there and pleaded with the guy to please let us stay in the same room for four more nights.

If you're going to a city you've never been to to check it out, you'd rather hang out with me and let me drunkenly jump in the pool. Well, that's it. We're actually lucky to be here because last night we made Nick Cody jump in the pool out there and they threatened to call the cops. They said they were calling the cops. Just for jumping in the hotel pool.

Yes. To be fair, the door was padlocked and he did have to climb over and he also didn't have clothes on. And he was off hours hours is that what it was yeah it was 2am oh okay yeah this story gets worse

and they were filming Species 5 so but Carl made a very good point when he said like because I was really I worry about that stuff like oh shit

what happens if the cops do come and Chandler said we're in one of the sketchiest parts of this suburb. There's no way cops are going to come out and say, hey, someone jumped in the pool.

We had a similar thing. We haven't talked about this on the show yet. When we were driving, we drove from Austin through to Las Vegas. So you flew into Austin? We flew to New Orleans, drove from there. And we got kind of thrilled when it gets really mountainy. And when we saw Cactus, we were like, we've got kind of thrilled when, you know, it gets really, like, mountainy, and when we saw cactus, we were like, we've got to pull over and get a photo with cactus. Oh, you don't have that in Australia? I don't think so.

No. No. Not the sort of cartoonish. Yeah, we've seen it on your Roadrunner. Yeah. Your American Roadrunner. So we've pulled over over into this rest stop, and there was a fence which we took no regard for.

We've scaled under it, we've gotten our photo, and we come back out the other end, and there's a guy in a golf cart who lives in a house at the rest stop going, you're on sacred land, you're not meant to have crossed over that. Sacred land, really? So like American Indian land? I believe. That's the impression I... Would that be a thing? It was like off the side of a highway.

Sure, yeah. We've picked the seven square feet in America that were guarded and decided to get a cactus. There's plenty of cactus everywhere. I know. This was the first that we saw and we thought, well, this might be as good as it gets. Yeah. But again, it was that thing where he went, oh...

Jack Nicholson thought that when he saw Hell in the House. So I understand. He goes, oh, I normally... I'm meant to call the cops when this happens. And again, we were just going... When this happens? Who is stupid enough to... I'm under offense.

That's the other part. You guys aren't going over it? That part of the country is very gummy as well. It's not a place where I just start jumping faces. The impression of America for us now is that it's very much a police state in that the important things are protecting cactuses and hotel pools. Oh yeah? Well, get the fuck out then. I think a family might be trying to get into our room.

Is that what's happening? I don't know. Let's let them in. Let's get them on the show. Sure, should we? What the fuck's going on? How many people are out there? Nick! That's Natasha Hintridge's dad. There are so many people out there.

Fuck, it's busy. Sketchtown. Have you guys experienced a drive-by yet? No. Can we do that tonight? Saturday night? Yeah, let's get a drive-by going. Hashtag drive-by yet? No. Can we do that tonight? Saturday night? Yeah, let's get a drive-by going. Yeah?

Hashtag drive-by. Get it trending. Is that actually a thing that is a common thing? No, you know what? I literally, five minutes before I was here, just saw Nick Thune, comedian Nick Thune. I don't know if you know him. And his parents were staying with him for the Thanksgiving holidays,

and they swore up and down that they heard a drive-by the night before. And they were like, why do you think it's a drive-by and not just a shooting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's just such an old parent kind of thing to think about Los Angeles. Like, oh, no, there's going to be a drive-by. Drive-by is, you know, I mean, yeah, they used to happen in south-central L.A., which is, like, oh no, there's going to be a drive-by. Drive-by is, you know, I mean, yeah,

they used to happen in South Central LA, which is like very far from here. I've fallen into a weird thing, I don't know if you do this at home,

where you, you know, if you're crossing the street and it's, you're waiting for the light to go green

and it hasn't gone yet, that thing where if one person, if there's a group of you waiting, if one person decides to cross, everyone just goes,

well this will do it and just follows the person like even though it's like why does this person know there's right of way here is that true like uh pedestrian right of way like i can just cross the road and people well yeah they have to stop they can't just hit you do you have that here but you're not allowed to cross the street wherever you want does that make sense so they're not allowed to hit you but you're not allowed to cross the street wherever you want does that make sense so they're not allowed to hit you but you're not allowed to cross the street but if you do be a dumb shit yeah and cross the street they're not allowed to go well guys but my instinct is just if there's someone near me who just decides to cross even though the light's

not green i just follow them and i've been doing that here and then the other day i realized because pretty much every person on the street is insane. Like the other day I've gone a guy's walked out in front of me and I've gone, okay alright I'm going to follow this guy and then I got halfway across the street and went, he's not wearing a shirt or pants and I've just gone oh well, I'll follow this guy, he knows what he's

doing, he'll lead me to safety. I mean, but in New York everyone just is constantly crossing the streets so you must have experienced that. Traffic's just at a constant standstill so. I actually we just got a piece of New York, everyone is constantly crossing the streets, so you must have experienced that. Traffic's just at a constant standstill. Actually, we just got a piece of New York then. I thought I was expecting this sort of stuff in New York, not L.A. We just crossed the street then on a green man,

and someone just cut us off in a car, and not only that, leaned out to give us the bird. Yeah. Well, I mean, what were you thinking? Trying to walk around. you thinking trying to walk around yeah trying to walk legally and she couldn't have been any more vehement in her index finger index finger middle middle middle middle figure man she was violent with that thing um were you shouting at her well I was so you just

stepped off the curb when you had a green man as you call it and uh she was making it right yeah okay maybe she was i don't know there's no excuse for her yeah she's a fucking asshole that's good to know that's comforting to know yeah there's a lot of people what are you gonna do they're terrible good terrible people that's a one-off speaking of that the middle finger did you ever have that at school when instead of the bird or whatever you'd call it the rude finger do you remember that was that a thing for you guys? No, not the rude finger. We just called it flipping them off.

Flipping them off. That's what we called it growing up, yeah. And is it the same for you guys? Yeah. Okay, so it's not the backwards peace sign? No, no, no. I'm a fan of that, though. Yeah, I like that.

I prefer giving it those ones over there. Yeah. We would just call it flipping it off. I remember, I was thinking about this the other day when I was a kid. Sucks meant sucks dick and was a bad word. You couldn't say sucks. Really? Yeah, yeah.

My brother got suspended from school on the time capsule that everyone was putting things into. He wrote school sucks. And he got suspended because that meant it sucks a penis. This is your brother. Yes. Is your brother Bart Simpson? I love that a word comes with it. I've heard like of a silent letter,

but never a whole silent word like sucks. That means sucks dick. I mean, you guys are much younger than i i believe but that's what it meant and i remember uh there was an american television show uncle buck based on the john candy movie uncle buck that was the first television show to have someone saying this sucks on it and it made big waves i remember this is the 90s i think groundbreaking uncle buck yeah people were upset people were upset about it.

Uncle Buck dick. I've never put that together, that when you say something sucks, that's the same as dick. It sucks dick. It blows dicks. That's what it meant back then. It's a very rude thing to say. Sucks, yeah.

I had a teacher in grade 6 who was anti-The Simpsons like if he saw you with any kind of simpsons any kind of simpsons he would go off and go oh i need to talk to your parents about this because you shouldn't be allowed that is an inappropriate show well like have you watched it no i just know it's like he would confiscate comic he just had this draw that was like a shrine of simpsons uh paraphernalia did you ask him very nicely not to have a cow? Please, sir, do not have a cow. And then I...

Did you ever do the Bartman around here? Did he know what that was? That would have been a great flash mob style thing if our whole class had just organized... Just all done the Bartman. Bust out the Bartman. And he's like, I don't know what this is. I'm sure I'm not meant to be happy with this happening,

but I have no idea what it is. But then I remember going back to, like, after I finished school, going back to a school fair and seeing him around the grounds and just going, oh, hey, you know, you're 60 years old. And then I don't know how this came up. I was like, oh, you confiscated my Simpsons comic. And he goes, yeah and then i i don't know how this came up you confiscated my simpsons comic and he goes yeah i got that wrong like he'd had this like epiphany like years old it seemed like he was like really tortured by it like oh my god he should be i know i know and you know now the show was big even then but as time goes on it just gets bigger it's just part of the pop

culture yeah i like the idea that he's just lying awake at night just absolutely distraught by what he did. I bet he saw one once. He was at a relative's house or whatever and he was grumpily watching it and then some joke made him laugh and then he just got obsessed with it. Yeah, I bet he does think about that. I saw it. Well, maybe his

hatred in the first place was based on his only experience with it was he'd just seen one of the bootleg Simpsons T-shirts. So he's just seen Bart pissing on a Ford logo. I had an art teacher very similar in that I remember when it first came out and my art teacher said to the class, like, don't watch The Simpsons. It's too rude.

It's a horrible show. It's too rude. But he is also the same teacher that once came up to me while I was drawing a girl's face on an easel and pointed at it and said, Are they his balls? Like, no, none of that question makes any sense. Are they his balls?

Yeah, are they his balls? You're drawing a girl's face. I was drawing a girl's face. I'm drawing a girl's face. And you, this man said to you, Yes. Are they his balls? Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. The R makes sense, mate.

R, yeah, no, hey, I'm on board. Hey, a question? You're going to ask me something? Open string. Sure. But then the rest of it. So you had an art teacher that was a bit of an... Like an arsehole. Is that an arsehole?

I don't even know what that is. That's just inexplicable. In grade one, we got to use clay for the first time and make something out of clay, and it's the only piece of artwork my parents ever kept from my childhood, and I tried... I made Mr. Nosy. You know, the little creature, like Mr. Nosy, Mr. Strong,

all those... Oh, yeah, yeah, from the little square children's books. Mr. Man, yeah. I tried to... Yeah, Mr. Nosy. You know, the little creature, like Mr. Nosy, Mr. Strong. Oh, yeah, yeah, from the little square children's books. Mr. Man, yeah. Yeah, Mr. Man. So I came home with Mr. Nosy and it was a cock and balls. But I just thought it was Mr. Nosy, like a head and a big nose on it, and it was a cock and balls, and

the art teacher just laughed so hard when my parents came in for, like, parent-teacher interview. They're like, how good was that? We didn't even take it home. It was cock and balls. See, I wish your parents had a similar thing with that drawing because I think, like how old are you when you've done that drawing?

Twelve? Because I think this reeks of a scenario where you look back at the drawing now and it's quite blatantly a cock and ball. Maybe you should try to draw one right now, just from memory. Like, is it Jonah Hill's character in Superbad, where he's just compelled to draw dicks all the time?

The little Carl Chandler just can't help himself. But he thinks it's girls' faces. Answer us, Carl. Answer us, are they his balls? Or what if it's like, you know, like in the cartoons, when it's like they're really hungry on a desert island, and they'll just see, like, someone's head turns into a piece of pizza. What if that's just what Carl sees when he walks around?

I was trying a woman's pretty face. A giant... Giant veiny dick. Dripping. Saggy balls. Well, I was 12, so I was going through puberty, so maybe I was just trying to figure out what was happening to my body through art. I mean, he could have confused you, by the way.

Like, you could have come out of that going, wait, women have balls? Women are two things at once? I think I was more offended for the girl's face. Like, I was drawing a girl's face. Someone in the class? Yeah. I was more offended for the girl's face. Like, I was drawing a girl's face. Someone in the class? Yeah, and he was thinking that what her face looks like is a man's testicle. This reeks of there's been some kind of sexual abuse has happened. And this is like the way that your brain has kind of like shifted the story to kind of help you cope with it.

Did you ever think he was pointing down at his own and saying, are they his balls? To you, saying that he wants to give you his balls and wants to give you possession of them and ownership of them. I was 12. Do you think I could still take him up on that? You know what I heard just three days ago was that my old drama teacher passed away. And this is my drama teacher when I was 14. My drama teacher used to bring me over and tell me how special I was and then kiss the back of my neck. He passed away of cancer. And, you know, I got a little charge out of that.

All right. You're cancerous. Is that what the back of my neck is? No, I just got a sense of justice of like you know oh good that guy who

was trying to molest me and I think molested several people in the drama club from what I heard you're not the only one well I mean

there were several better good looking children than I probably a few girls that looked like testicles that didn't get kissed on the back of the neck

but anyway he's like oh it's a girl I'm not into that children than I am. Probably a few girls that look like testicles that didn't get kissed on the back of the neck. He's like, oh, it's a girl. I'm not into that. But she looks like testicles. Was that ever confirmed? Like when you got out of school? Did you ever find out from people what had been going on? We all... You know what's weird?

You don't put that... or at least I didn't. I didn't put that stuff together really in my head. I knew I felt weird about it. I knew that it was strange, but I sort of compartmentalized it and, like, pushed it down. And that happened a few times in my life where, like, people were trying to, not even adults. Like, when I was 15, my friend came on to came on to me, um, and I laughed it off thinking that it wasn't happening. And then like a year later, I realized that it did happen, you know? So I was like, for some reason, never in touch with it. So, but it was, so it was never

confirmed, but I don't know why I'd never put it together because everyone always talked about how this man, um, was having sex with the rumor was he was having sex with like the star actor, the, the really handsome guy. And the really handsome actor was always like, fuck you. I'm not gay. And,

um, you know, and everyone's like, Oh no, it's a rumor, but everyone thought they were being really fun. And this is back in the eighties too. And no one would admit to being gay.

I got out of high school, and every single person in my high school drama club was gay. And they all vehemently denied it. And it's terrible. I'm really glad that we've moved on since then. People can admit it now. I don't know how prevalent it is in high schools now, i mean it should be way more but you know high school is tough for everybody but that's a very weird way to groom a young boy by just a kiss on the back of the neck that's a weird place to yeah

i would go right on her testicles. It might have been a hiding thing too, like he might have been back there whispering in my ear and then going behind my head so that the rest of the class couldn't see it. That's kind of the feeling I got from it. This started out with me making jokes

about Carl having a repressed memory and what it's become is you actually legitimately having a bit of a repressed memory. I it's become is you actually legitimately having a bit of a repressed memory. I don't think it's repressed as much as I just kind of was like, well, that's no big deal to me because I'm not going to take him up on it. Well, not now. But, you know, like at the time

I was just kind of like, well, it's... If I had been more in touch with, hey, this guy is a weirdo and should be reported, I wish... That's one thing that I wish I had done. But I was always pretty solid and like, well, no one is going to molest me. I had a guy come up with his car and try to get me into his car once when I was younger. Wow, really?

Yeah, and I was like, nope, no thanks. I was like, get out of here, weirdo. So I've always just been been pretty solid in what I'm going to do, but I wish I had more. I don't know if you sound pretty solid. You sound pretty. A lot of people are after you. Check me out online. There was a, when I

was at high school, I can't remember how it got found, but I don't know if I've talked about this on the show before, but this website went up that had all these photos of kids from my school at sporting events and walking website went up that had all these photos of kids from my school like at sporting events and like walking home from school that have been taken with this insane telephoto lens yeah super long lens so they'd been waiting at like our our swimming sports day or whatever just like on the other side of the street and it went up and the school

wait wait who a website of the guy who took them it was yeah, it was like a website that went up that was like all anonymous, and it was just, you'd go on it, and it was just a gallery of images. And our school tried to get it taken down, but their defense was, no, there's nothing, you know, nothing, there's no nudity, there's nothing pedophilic about it, it's just four, it's just photos of, just photos of school kids hanging out. And there was one guy in my school who was on it more than anyone else, by a wide margin.

And he was super proud of it. What? He was into it. He's like, got the record, boys. Yeah, look who's killing it on magnitude.com. Magnitude.com. Magnitude.com, yeah. Check it out.

Guess who's got three weeks to live? This guy. But it's one of those things. By the way, magnitude of what he's talking about is cars. That's the funny thing, though, it's such a disturbing kind of thing that happened at the time, but now, through all my high

school friends, it's just become, it's become a sweet, like, comedic reference, like, if you're in a conversation, chuck out, nah. It's just, you know, like, someone will go, like, you know, it doesn't really ever come up, but like every now and then someone will, you know, make a reference or whatever. And someone goes, oh, this is all turning a bit magnitude, isn't it?

And everyone goes, ah, that pedophile thing that happened. Hang on. Was this the site that the Winklevoss twins invented, which then turned into Facebook? Is this how this started? There were people on that website very similar in physique to the Winklevoss, I'm so sure. I don't know if you've ever read, there's a really interesting graphic novel about Jeffrey Dahmer. I think it's called My Life with Dahmer or something like that. I've been meaning to buy that, yeah.

It's really interesting, but it's very similar to that where Jeffrey Dahmer was a source of comedy for the guy who wrote it and drew it. And he and his high school friends, they were all friends with Dahmer. And he was a source of comedy, much like Magnitude. They would always go, ah, Dahmer, he's crazy. And in sort of a gallows humor type of way. And then when they found out later the magnitude of his actual craziness, you know, they had to process their feelings about the whole thing. And he had kind of suppressed his feelings about it. It's a really interesting thing.

So you're saying I'm going to become a serial killer? Well, no, if this guy, whoever, I mean, did they trace it back to whoever started it? I don't know. I think it was like a group kind of effort. Like I think it was like a thing that you could submit. So there were different areas. People submitted their own photos? Yeah.

What? It was for a community. It was like a community of old men who like looking at photos of boys walking home from school. At the very least, if they could trace it back and find out who was doing it,

they could slap a restraining order on them not to come near. I think they... Because it made it to the papers. It was like quite a big news story. And I think they ended up getting it taken down. It took them a little while because it was all, their defense was like nothing that bad's happened. It's worse than ever though, man.

I mean, there's so much molestation just worldwide. And then with, you know, teachers, you know, like so many teachers where I went to school are convicted you know it's just it's most of it's probably happening in this hotel there was a guy went to school with that used to cop it a lot and there was like one famous in a school incident where just they did this tug of war with him in the middle and they wrapped a hose around him and then got two teams of people

and just pulled it either side and then everyone got in trouble for it, including me, because I didn't do it and they're like, oh, you seem like the sort of guy that would have done it. So then I got in trouble.

No, I didn't do it. I actually didn't do it. You do seem like a good guy. I know. I was like, it sounds like a fair So then I got in trouble. No, I didn't do it. I actually didn't do it. You do seem like a bad guy. I know. I was like, it sounds like a fair argument. I don't know. And that's something

that carries through with you until this day. Anything bad that happens to someone, they go, Chandler's behind this. Yeah. But so...

You just kind of have that physique and you have like, kind of like a, and a deep voice and you're wearing a football hat. And I've got hoes on me. Yeah. I bet you're a pedo deep voice and you're wearing a football yeah hat and i've got a hose on me yeah i bet you're a pedo drama teacher when he got diagnosed with cancer went chandler's done yeah um but he so he used to cop a lot of that sort of stuff and then it was that

thing where it's like oh a bit of a figure of fun this guy he's gonna cop it all the time whatever and then you become not 15 and not 16 anymore you You grow up a little bit, and I think we were like 18, 19, and I moved towns, and someone brought in the newspaper. I was at university, and they're like, oh, you come from Maryborough, don't you, Jaylen? And I'm like, yeah. Like, oh, well, your mates are on the front page. And it was like this same guy had broken into someone's grave,

chopped off a woman's hand, and turned it into an ashtray. Whoa. And they had... Yeah, he was going to jail for turning an old woman's hand into an ashtray. The guy that you hosed. That I didn't hose. The guy that I was accused of hosing. Okay.

So, that incident may have played a part in his psyche. For sure. Okay, how do you feel about that? Nothing, because I didn't do it. This is the same interview that I had when I was in Year 7. I didn't do it. A 35-year-old just turned into a 13-year-old. I didn't do it!

Carl, by the way, he's turned bright red. His hand is to his face. He's trying to hide behind his... He's clutching his laptop as if that's where all the evidence rests. I'm comforting myself with the same thing

that he got in trouble for. Yeah, the hands. The ashtray hands. Is that your ashtray hand, by the way? Yeah, that is. That's the one. I wouldn't use that.

That's disgusting. The left one. The right one. You're buffed in there. He's just got his balls in the ashtray. I hear that story and I just think smoking is a disgusting habit. That's the lesson we get out of that one. Well guys, that does bring us once again to the second end of the Little Dumbbell Club. No, I can stay.

We'll go into hour two. Guys, check out Scott's podcast, Comedy Bang Bang. It's really great. The TV show, I assume, is great. It's not on in Australia, and the idea of illegally downloading things is absolutely abhorrent to me, so I have no idea of the quality of the show. At Torrent?

At Torrent, yeah. Get on... Nick, you finally proved yourself, buddy. In your last stretch I think that sweet Australian TV channel thepiratebay.com is going to be airing it at some stage Scott, thanks so much for joining us

thanks for having me, I always enjoy you guys I enjoy your show and I enjoy your comedy so I'm glad that I could fit you into not only this, but the live show yeah, thanks so much. We really appreciate it. And you're going next door to Mark Maron, what the fuck, in suite 226 next door?

Yeah, he has a high-rise hotel room. It's just eight stories. Yeah, the only thing left now to do is to head out and do some few sweet drive-bys. Yeah. I guess that's all that's left. Hashtag drive-by. Guys, thank you very much

for listening and we will see you next time. See you, mates. See you, mates.