The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 127 - Charlie Pickering & Justin Hamilton

Episode Date: February 27, 2013

The ATN Chopper, The Wayans Brothers and Dickie Hamilton.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the show, a ripper episode featuring Charlie Pickering and Justin Hamilton. But before that, I need to let you know, Brisbane, if you are on this promptly, we are in your city right now doing our brand new shows as part of the Brisbane Comedy Festival at the Brisbane Powerhouse. At 7pm, you can see me, Tommy Dasolo, in spread. At 8.30pm, you can see Carl Chandler has literally 1.5 million jokes. We are here until Sunday, 3rd of March. On the Saturday, we are doing our live Brisbane Little Dumb Dumb Club,

4pm in the Brisbane Powerhouse. Luke McGregor's going to be here. We've got a massive international guest lined up. Don't delay. Buy your tickets. Come on down. brisconfest.com. Next week I'm going to be in Adelaide doing my brand new show

Spread, 6.30pm at the Rhino Room every night. And following that, the Melbourne International Comedy Festival starting from March 28th. We've both got our own shows in the Forum Theatre. We've got live little dum-dum clubs happening every Monday night in the Town Hall

7.30pm, with huge guests. Comedyfestival.com.au is where you can find all that stuff. Please come down if you're in one of those places. We would love to see you there, and enjoy the episode. See you, mates. Welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo.

Sitting next to me, the other half of the program, checking his phone, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. What's going on on your little phone there? Any text messages? No. You're on Facebook? You're on bloody... Oh, you're on Twitter.

I'm on Twitter. I'm doing a bit of research for this naked bit that we're going to do. The next little bit? Yep. The next little skit we've got lined up. That's it. Skitch. Hey, just apropos of last week when we were talking about CommuniK

that's been given to me from trams, from public transport, and we did a whole little bit about helicopters. Yeah, drivers of public transport leaning out the window and yelling at you in the street. Exactly drivers uh yelling out uh stuff like that and i put in a request for a helicopter pilot to give you a share now well on twitter this week we've got it yeah we've got someone we've got the the person in charge of the melbourne traffic network victoria twitter account tweeted yesterday i think we just spotted at, at Carl Chandler from the ATN Chopper, G'day Carl, at Dasolo.

Yeah. Which went out when I was at lunch eating fish and chips, and I literally looked up and went... Wouldn't it have been great if we'd read that tweet, and then there'd been a story on the news about there being a helicopter crash, and the time worked up that he'd sent that tweet, and then the helicopter's just gone down? But this guy's obviously... this is a proper job.

This is a helicopter pilot that's flying around. He's got weather to report. He's got traffic to report on. Didn't the supervisor see that he's giving shout outs to idiots on podcasts? Yeah. I want to know if he listened and happened to hear that last week or if someone's tipped him off. Someone's tipped him off. Someone's tipped him off, you reckon?

I reckon, definitely. Okay. We couldn't be that lucky, could we? To have that many pilots of different vehicles. I mean, you know, maybe it's just a commonality. You know, like in people that like this show, they also enjoy driving things for other people. Maybe we need to go and do like an actual study

and get like a sample group and do all that. Maybe we should find out if we've got any listeners that don't have their license in some form because it sounds like everyone's addicted from getting from A to B somehow. Yeah. Should we kick this off and bring our guests in? First of all, returning to the show, you know him from Good News Week. You know him from Can You Take This Photo?

Please, please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Justin Hamilton. Thank you. I'm from Can You Take This Photo? Please, please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Justin Hamilton. Thank you. I would have preferred if that chopper guy had seen you while you were selling heaps of cocaine like goodfellas. That's what I would have...

Going back, getting the cannoli ready, getting the sauce stirred, and then you'd be saying, I saw a little car handler from the dum-dum club selling heaps of gear. Whoa, what up? No, it's just part of a sweet stakeout that he was having about me eating a bit of Redfin. Yeah.

Do you ever get hit up on public transport? Because you don't drive. So I imagine you'd be way more susceptible to, you know, people who listen to our podcast. I imagine there's a lot of crossover, a lot of drivers listening to both shows. Yeah, you know what? I have some real Batman skills and I can hide in plain sight. So I'm very good at getting on a tram and just kind of almost to the extent that people will sit on me. They don't realise that I'm there.

I'm very good at it. Excellent. Also making a return to the show, you know him from the project. You know him from talking about your generation. Please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Charlie Pickering. Hello. Good morning. Good morning. Or good whatever time it isdum club, Charlie Pickering. Hello. Good morning. Good morning.

Or good whatever time it is, wherever you're listening to this. Yes. Thank you. If you're in a helicopter above Melbourne right now, fly safe there, fella. Fly safe. Hey, just one thing I want to say. Just one thing because we've got an hour to go. I know, but it'll be long and involved.

And it may be funny. I'm not guaranteeing anything. No, but saying like, you know someone tweeting you from like a traffic chopper and you're going, this is a real job. And someone's tweeting me, I'm sorry. No. And I know this is Rich coming from a comedian. But it's a fairly superfluous job, isn't it?

Canadian but it's a fairly superfluous job like have we in the 70s surely the helicopter for the traffic was important because we had no idea but we got cameras everywhere now we've got drones yeah got apps like you know not once have I been sitting in traffic listen to the traffic radio report going I'm not buying that unless it's from Altitude. Well, we talked about this last week. Someone who works in radio was telling me that when they say that they're cutting to the chopper, a lot of the time it's just someone in the car park on their mobile going, just waving the phone around going, yeah. Someone saw me in a car park then. That's what that's like.

Someone saw me in the fish and chip shop car park. Yeah, did you notice that was from the hooked Twitter account that actually said that? Yeah, did you notice that was from the hooked Twitter account that actually said that? Yeah, yeah. It's funny, when we were doing a radio program back on Austereo, and I did a recurring character which was

a black traffic chopper guy. Yeah, I forgot about this guy. And it's funny, by all accounts, like I was a black man in a helicopter and that's pretty much all he said would refer to the fact that... This sort of stuff was allowed back then, wasn't it? Well, no, what I'm thinking was I'm pretty sure it was out of bounds

but no one was listening, so no one was complaining. No one was listening. The shit that we got away with was... Remember our game show that we had was Who's Hammo Tapping? And people would ring in and it would be like they're in the Herald Sun today, they're going to tour Australia,

and people would ring up and you'd literally hear say a name and you'd be like... Is it John Farnham? No. The next person? Is it Farnham? No. The next person? Is it Queen Elizabeth II? No. You're not tapping Queen Elizabeth II?

No. And we would just keep going. Then finally someone would get it right and you'd hear an explosion of coins. And every week with the people that were in charge of our show, they would listen to it and they'd say, so why is this funny? And they didn't get it, so we kept doing it.

We did it for months. It's funny, the number of things that we did that felt like we were just scenes from that Howard Stern movie. You know, like that game show where they just keep going, is it massive cock, Howard? You know, game show where they just keep going, is it massive car power? You know, like that. Like the number of meetings and number of things we did on there. Yeah.

And after a while, because we really had a grudge against what time we were on there. We had to get there at 5 o'clock on a Saturday and a Sunday. Yeah, which was horrific when Charlie and I were in Adelaide for the Adelaide Fringe, which meant we had to be there at 4.30, which meant we had to leave the Rhino Room half an hour earlier than we were going to. I was furious.

So we just had this broad resentment for where we were. And I think we just started doing stuff to try and get sacked. Oh, yeah. Just like, let's do a game show where we shit in the mouth of the queen. Let's do that. Yeah, I'm in. I like the idea that you guys are just doing that and they're just letting you go and they're telling you that you're on air,

but the show's actually going out to no one and what's actually on is in a room next to you there's a group of people that are just really safe, just talking about real family matters and, you know, it's like the radio boss is like, well, this is good because everyone wins. It's like next door is Davo, Davo and the rooster. What do you reckon, Davo? And they're always going, what, me?

Or who? Every conversation starts. Davo's so nice they named him twice. I thought there were three people. Davo, Davo and the rooster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it is... The more that I knew they weren't paying attention to us, the more fun I had.

And funnily enough, this will sound weird, the more phone calls we would get when it was obvious that we were having more fun because we weren't sticking to... The more we disregarded the rules, the more traction we got. We had more traction, more cut through, deeper penetration. But that was nothing to do with the radio.

That was all about stationality. Stationality. That was back to whose hammer I was tapping. Yeah, that's right. It's like you were doing a podcast before podcasting was like a big thing. Oh, yeah. That's great. I thought we invented talking to people and no one listening.

Commercial radio is great. You can just say what you want and it doesn't matter because there's no rules. It was a podcast where we got paid heaps of coins. Yeah. Commercial radio is great. You say anything you want because there's no rules. Well, there are lots of rules. We just don't know what they are.

We've never been briefed on the rules. No one's listening. There are lots of rules. We just don't know what they are. We've never been briefed on the rules. No one in charge is listening to us, but we got some pretty funny people ringing up because we were going into Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne. What time were you on in the morning? It was six to eight. Six to eight? On a weekend?

Yeah, six to eight on a Saturday. Yeah, that's the glamour shift. Oh, yeah. That was like Hamish and Andy are doing that now, aren't they? Nah, they haven't worked their way up yet. But it's really funny. Like, for the first couple of weeks

when we were new, they go like you're not getting a lot of callers coming through. Maybe we need to look at the topics you've got. Yeah. And I'm like going, I don't know. Maybe it's because it's between six and eight on a Saturday. It's Sunday morning. Were you talking enough about truck stops?

Yeah. But we like, you know, maybe you need to, like this was actually a conversation. I said, maybe you need to broaden your phone in topic. What was your phone in topic on Saturday? And I said, and this wasn't a lie, where do you keep your tomato sauce? In the fridge or the cupboard. Oh, yeah.

I was too. And it was like, and I said, happy to hear how we could broaden that. Well, it's like, I don't know if we, I guess we can reveal this. Friend of the show, Nick Cody, used to have a job working for Nova where he would have to listen to

the Husey and Kate breakfast show in the mornings and then he would have to pick out what he thought was the strongest bit that they could use in the ads for the rest of the day. And he became obsessed with commercial radio and especially something that's been on long for phone-in topics. It's hard. So he became obsessed with the things that they would get people to phone in and he would keep texting me these great phone-in topics.

And one of them was, Kate had left her hair straightener on when she left for the house and it was like, when have you left something on by accident? Give us a call. Yeah, great. Do you remember when I swore on it?

That's it. You said that, but fuck, I think I left my straighteners on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. I don't leave home without leaving it on. Do you remember when I swore on it? That's why it's warm when you get home. Yeah. Do you remember when I swore on air? It's warm when you get home.

Yeah. Do you remember when I swore on air? Oh, that's right. Because what I used to do, because Charlie and I know how to make each other laugh. That's been our key skill, hasn't it? Yeah. Even when, you know, like on tour, even in bad situations. Even when we're angry with each other.

We're still laughing. Don't go to bed without laughing at each other. Never have, never will. It's a rule. But the thing we used to do it was always at the top of the second hour we'd do a, you and Terry would have like a fact or something and then you'd throw to me and then I would

say something stupid. I remember I went through a stage of every time you looked at me I'd have like a fake moustache on or I'd have fake glasses on or whatever and I just would have something different. So they weren't allowed to look at me and then they'd look and I'd be there going, hey, right? And I remember I'd just gone to Turkey and I came back.

That's a great sentence. We had to look away and go blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And Justin Hamilton, fun pub trivia fact or whatever it was, and we'd look at you. And I had this hat that I'd bought in Turkey that made me look like Glenn A. Baker. And it was making me laugh because I knew how bad it looked before they even looked at me. And I made the mistake of making eye contact with Charlie. And then it was one of those giggles where your voice goes too high and you can't say anything.

And I couldn't even get the line out. And I was like, and then I just went, oh, I fucked it. And Bron, who works on Can You Take This Photo Please With Me, was our techie, and she's got these massive man's hands and she just pushed one down and hit 78% of the buttons and managed to hit dump. Yeah, she managed to drop it out. Just before it went to air.

Yeah. I thought you were going to say she hit the eject button and your seat just flung you out of the studio. That's how I left Triple M. I thought she hit the button that went insert immediately into Fifi and Jewel's afternoon show and just whacked it. Bring some edge in. Was that the fez that you bought?

No, that wasn't the fez Right It was different You've got a number of elaborate hats Yeah, because you did own a fez for a little while I still do And I remember you saying you were going to You were saying that you were going to wear it

I think it was you were going to wear it all night For the comedy festival final night party one year Yeah Which is something that I did Yeah Because it was It was

The theme was science fiction, and I came dressed completely normally wearing a fez. And people who don't watch Doctor Who had no idea what I was doing, and they'd say, why are you wearing a fez? And I'd say, because fezes are cool. And you'd see some of those Doctor Who nerds, Ben McKenzie, just getting all giggly every time it would happen. I just enjoyed the commitment, because it's one of those things

that people go, oh, I'm going to do this ridiculous thing for the whole night. It was one of the first times in my life I've seen someone actually say that and then follow through on doing it. Yeah, yeah, I'm a big believer in, you know, going beyond. Like once, remember when we'd go and stay at Will's house up in... Oh, yes. Oh, that was the golden age. No one had any responsibilities.

No, whatsoever, except for Will. Had to get up and do breakfast radio, but he was fine. And so I remember we went out one night and had done a gig and then came home and I'd been sitting on his lounge underneath a sheet playing a guitar that was there for some reason and singing seriously over the fact that I can't play. And then it finished and then he went to sleep, and then he got up a couple of hours later to get ready,

and then he walked past, and I was still on the thing, and he pulled it back, and I was still sitting there, and I looked at him and said, I've never had a lesson. And he lost it, and it was like a two, two and a half hour commitment that I knew that he would get up at this time. And it was worth it. And then I went to sleep. Look, I'll bring this up now. commitment that I knew that he would get up at this time and it was worth it. And then I went to sleep.

Look, I'll bring this up now. It's very hard to get time for you Charlie to come in because you're a busy man. You've got heaps of stuff. It's almost like you're... I'm not actually that busy. I just create the appearance of being very busy. And there's a big difference between the two. It's working though.

If you make people feel like they're lucky to spend time with you. Yeah, right. It's like a weird, it's just a desperate to be liked thing. Probably a hangover from childhood. I don't know what it is. You're not even on TV every night. That's just a stunt double. Just a guy that looks like you.

Ryan Coffey. Yeah, that's right. Ryan Coffey. Something in for me. Call back to something we didn't do on air. Oh, it was. Okay in for me. Call back to something we didn't do on air. Oh, it was. Okay, and edit.

Yeah, it's just, that's you know. You're allowed to be busy, Charlie, by the way. That's fine. That's alright. You're on TV. You know, it's almost like you've got better things to do than come to my house in Hawthorne and talk to three people that you normally talk to. He lives in Hawthorne. He lives in Hawthorne. He lives in Hawthorne. Stalker's narrowing it down.

Yeah, in case you're curious, Thursday is rubbish night. I like that that's written up on the famous whiteboard. How long have you lived here, man? Yeah, I was going to say. Oh, well, I think we've lived here like two and a half years or something. Yeah, you don't need Thursday as rubbish night written on the wall anymore. No, we do because I've never put the rubbish out and an old woman came up to me like three weeks ago and went, we're not putting your rubbish wall anymore. No, we do because I've never put the rubbish out and an old woman came up to me like three weeks ago and went, we're not putting your rubbish out anymore.

And I was like, oh, okay. She's like, what the fuck did you think was happening with your rubbish? Did you think the flats had someone whose job it was to just, what magical land of flats? There's no rubbish fairies? Yeah, no. Did you just turn around and say, whatever, old lady, what the fuck are you doing with

your life? You put it out. No, I got in trouble from an old lady who got me in trouble because an older lady had been putting it out and she goes, she's just not physically able to put your rubbish out anymore. I'm like, oh, okay. That is great. Yeah.

And she's like, see, you know, you're, and then I went, I went, oh, okay, which one's my bin? And she goes, you don't know what your you know And then I went I went oh okay Which one's my bin And she goes You don't know what your bin is And I went Not really And she goes Where have you been

Putting your rubbish And I went In whatever rubbish bin Was there And she's like Oh god I'm like What does it matter

What bin I put it in Can I I just want to put this On the record now And maybe I've watched A bit too much murder She wrote But if you go missing We need to go and talk To that woman Yeah Check my bin I just want to put this on the record now. Maybe I've watched a bit too much Murder, She Wrote.

But if you go missing, we need to go and talk to that woman. Check my bin. You get in a lot of trouble in this apartment complex. How close do you think you are to being kicked out? I'm intrigued by what I'll have to do to do it. Having four people in here shouting on a podcast, I imagine is probably going to be the thing that tips it over the edge. Well, I walk around, and you can see out the window, I walk around in the nude all the time here next door.

And that's a primary school just there, so I've tried that. And what are these binoculars for? That's to give to the kids so they can see me. Hey, just speaking of this quickly, because I live near a school as well, and because it's been quite hot recently, I've been doing work with all the doors open. Do you have this? Because I can hear the school bell from where I work and it just really annoys me because it's like that's a whole period

at school where these kids have learnt probably new equations or they've discussed the characters in a book and all I've done is just fucking check people's Facebook. Do you know what I mean? I love it. I hate it. I don't like knowing the divisions of the day. How else do you know when to go out to play

if you're not listening to the bell? Time to go out on the balcony nude. Ting-a-ling-a-ling. Time for a wang. I live across the road from a primary school, which as a work-from-home pedophile sets me down to the ground. Come on, old school material.

I just like to say I know Andy Muirhead. So I'm trying to fit into this conversation somehow. You live near a school as well, Hammer. Isn't there like a weird little kind of like a, like one of those weird, like what do you call them, independent sort of schools? There's like a house that someone's converted

into like a weird. Is it like a Steiner or a. It's not quite a Steiner. Aaron von Munchhausen School or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Professor Xavier. It's one of those type of deals. Yeah, it's a...

It's a Dr. Zaius Academy. They're trained by apes. Yeah. Yeah, just next to the Statue of Liberty coming out of the ground. Every playtime they walk out and go, Damn you, I want to help! Often I hear the bell ring,

I see a little monkey on roller skates going past with a bow tie. G'day, Gary. Ah, they've got a gifted program. Oh, this has come a long way from my point, a long way away. Charlie's busy to get back to it. Charlie's busy, full stop, great.

And possibly easily distracted judging by that last conversation. Now, this is the one time we could get you this for the last couple of weeks or whatever. So it was like, great, excited, let's lock in this time. Now, I've had to, I thought I'd better hold on to this time with you, even though I got an offer to do an interview this morning with someone else. I thought I'd better knock that back because Charlie's time is very valuable. So hang on, you were going to be interviewed

for your own promotional purposes? No, no, no, no, no. I was, a magazine asked me to interview someone else. Ah. Right. Instead of, for this time slot right now. You should have just said, I can interview Charlie Pickering for you. Yeah, hang on, are we going to? Who's Carl?

Is it Tommy Lee? No. It's someone in comedy. It's some international travellers. Some international travellers in comedy. Yeah. Are they coming out for the comedy festival? Maybe.

I didn't get to do any research because I didn't have the gear. Did I have a... It's very like for like. Charlie Pickering, Justin Hamilton. Well, my point is I've... Hammo's going to cripple himself. I'll tell you who it is. Is this the longest... It's very like for like. Charlie Pickering, Justin Hamilton. Well, my point is I've... Hammo's going to cripple himself in a minute. I'll tell you who it is.

Is this the longest Hammo's ever tapped anyone? Hammo's 40 now. Hammo's exhausted. Are you tapping the Mighty Boosh? What about an English comedy duo?

Da-da-da-da-da-da. I thought... I've prepared questions for them, but I didn't really have any time to prepare questions for you two, so maybe I can just

pretend that you guys are the people. Sure. Should we know who it is? No, no. Yeah, I will. And we do the interview as them? No, I'll tell you. I'll tell you.

Or should we play a game called, should Carl have done this podcast or the interview? I reckon do the questions and try and work out who it was based on the questions. I think it's better the other way around. Really? I'll tell you who it is. And then we will serve the purpose of being those people. Yes. And you should just publish the interview.

Yeah. You should just publish it. Yeah, I will. Okay. So who I was scheduled to interview this morning were the Wayans brothers. Oh, yeah. Sean and Marlon Wayans. Wow.

This is special. This podcast is about to get... Dude, I would have done the interview. This podcast is about to get... Dude, I would have done the interview. This podcast is about to get pretty racist, I think. So why did you decide to do the movie White Chicks, guys? Marlon? Sean? I think a lot of people looked at us and said,

you're black dudes. You can't do it. Yeah. And when someone tells me I can't do something, that's when I show I can't do something. You shouldn't let the man keep you down like that. You've done the right thing there. Yeah, well, he said.

Yeah. This is embarrassing, but I'm going to have to ask you. Which one of you is Sean and which one's Marlon? I'm Marlon. Because you both look the same to me, to be honest. We get each other confused a lot. Yeah, right. Over Christmas, we were standing there uh sean and marlon and i and i'm going which one am i again like it happens with

us too yeah what he said yeah right can i sorry i want to cut your lunch can i can i take what what's one can i take one of the questions have you got uh i think that one i think that one definitely strained into racist territory but i think it was the fault of the interviewer. Yeah. It was a leading question. Yeah. What was the inspiration for the film Scary Movie? Sorry, I shouldn't have brought out such a hard ball so early on.

There's a lot of things that motivate writers and directors like us. For us, the big one is money. Yeah. And we thought we big one is money. Yeah. And we thought we could shift some units. We love some sweet coin. We love it. We love scary. We love funny.

Yeah. We put them together. Anyway, we made Scary Movie in the camp. I've got another question. What was the inspiration behind making Scary Movie 2? Oh, well, there's so much left unsaid after the first one. So many things that had to be wrapped up. Next question, where did your incense go? Oh, I've got a cold.

Sorry, that was congestion before. Yeah, in Scary Movie 1, if I remember correctly, a virgin literally jizzes a girl onto the ceiling and she sticks to it. Oh, really? So after we made that, I thought, we haven't gone far enough. Yeah.

How far can we take this? That was also a political statement. Do you remember? That was a political statement on the way minorities are oppressed and the only way you can kind of throw off the shackles is just to jizz a person to the ceiling. Yeah. What he said.

Yeah. I must say, you know, Americans tend to get a lot of flack for doing their bad Australian accents, but you guys have just, you guys have nailed it. This is really impressive stuff. It's interesting. There are, I think it's the least you can do, and I think it's just a common courtesy to get the accent right. There are these two amazing comedians from

Australia called Justin Hamilton and Charlie Pickering who, whenever they impersonate black people, nail it. To the point that you can't find it racist because they nail the accent very well. And it's the least we can do in return. And this is also the accents for our new movie

called White Sheilas. Oh, White Chicks Down Under. Yeah. Oh, White Chicks Down Under. Yeah. Yeah, great. White Chicks Down Under. Do the drapes match the carpet? What? I almost said do the drapes match the curtains.

I don't know. It's weird how your confidence faltered at the end of that last one. Otherwise that's a shitty set of curtains. I'm going to send them back. I forget which again. I'm Marlon. You're Mar curtains. I'm going to send them back. I forget which, again. I'm Marlon. You're Marlon, sorry. Marlon.

Marlon. Marlon. How was, can you elaborate, can you tell me about your 37th birthday party? Because I've just done some, you know, elaborate research, obviously, this morning. It says here that you celebrated your 37th birthday in Paris with some of your co-stars from the movie

G.I. Joe, The Rise of the Copra. How was that? That's an obvious match, you know. You're bringing over your G.I. Joe co-stars from the movie G.I. Joe, The Rise of the Cobra. How was that? That's an obvious match. You know, you're bringing over your G.I. Joe co-stars to Paris for your birthday. Yeah, a lot of people, when they think Paris, they think G.I. Joe, Rise of the Cobra. Yeah. And it just felt natural for us to do. And on my 36th birthday, we took the cast of Scary Movie 2 to the Vatican.

Oh, right. So hang on, a year ago. How could we possibly top that? And so we took the cast of Rise of the Cobra to Paris. So hang on, so a year ago, you reunited the cast of Scary Movie 2, which is 10, 15 years ago now. What I do on my birthday is my business. Terribly sorry. I'm also flattered that you know my name in spite of me having not said it.

For my 38th, I might reunite the cast of Lowdown Dirty Shame. Oh, that's some Wyatt shit on your ass, motherfucker. By the way, that was Paris, Texas that we went to. We're all big Harry Dean Stanton fans. Yeah, we went to Paris, Texas, and then we went to Lehman, Nebraska. Other capitals. Marlon, I'm sorry, I don't have any questions for Sean, unfortunately,

but one last question. Sean seems pretty fine with that. His brother over here is just trying to keep warm. Here's a question for you. Can you say the words what he said? What he said What he said Next question Marlon

It says here Well this might Sorry my congestion came back If only Your follow up question would be Marlon What did he just say And I was going to get

What he said It's one of the Classic comedy duo Yeah that's from Our upcoming Upcoming film And not very scary movie. Quite good though.

If only Justin Allen was here to listen to this question actually. Because Marlon here, it says here, Marlon was originally slated to play Robin in Batman Forever. What happened there? Why didn't you end up getting the role, Marlon, of Robin? Of Dick Grayson? Racism. Racism, that's it?

Yeah. And I was terrible that's it? Yeah. Oh, and I was terrible in the audition. Yeah. How did that go? Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Yeah. How did Marlon Wayans go talking like Robin? Well, Batman said, I think the feed line was something like,

let's go, Robin. And I was meant to go, okay, Batman. And I was like, white man aren't going to tell me what to do. Drive your own stinking Batmobile. You ain't Miss Daisy, motherfucker. I was there. I was there at the audition. That's exactly how it went.

I broke Joel Schumacher's jaw for even suggesting it. That's why the movie was so bad. No one understood his direction. This audition sounds like a kind of early inspiration for Django Unchained. There's a lot of similarities there. I was initially

asked to play Django in Django Unchained. What happened there? I went in there and Quentin Tarantino gave me a script to read and I said, white man ain't going to tell me what to do. And ironically the feed line was, let's go Robin. It was let's go Robin. And it's funny,

I was like, I fucking know this. I know this one. I was there, that's how it happened. I broke Tarantino's jaw. It's a shame that you couldn't take Quentin Tarantino aside for anyone who's seen the film and his appalling Australian accent. You maybe could have given him some vocal coaching lessons. We did.

We did. Yeah, we're furious. I think it's the best work we've ever done. We're up for an Academy Award. When he starts off, he sounds like a South African. He sounds like a South African. That's the thing. His first line, I'm pretty sure he delivers with a South African accent.

Yeah. And my first thought was, oh, fuck, I thought it couldn't get worse for these guys. Yeah. At least these guys have some Like the ones in the States Are going to have some Emancipation proclamation shit going on But if this guy's off to South Africa That's bad news

It is pretty weird Because it's like There's no There's actually no real reason For him to be Have you seen it? No There's no real reason

For him to be Australian It made me laugh a lot though I know lots of people Hate that scene But I liked it Yeah it made me laugh a lot Didn't he replace an Australian actor people hate that scene. I liked it. Yeah, it made me laugh a lot. Didn't he replace an Australian actor? Is that the thought behind it?

That's the story I heard, yeah. He put John Jarrett in. And he's been trying to get Jarrett in for a while. Oh, you guys know John Jarrett? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was in Wolf Creek with him. Oh. I played the wolf.

You guys, you Wayne's brothers, you guys should do a, I don't know how you'd spoof the name, Wolf Creek spoof. Wolfie movie? Yeah, sure. Pussy Creek. Yeah. Let us do the funny stuff, yeah? I'm terribly sorry.

I'm terribly sorry, man. Scary movie? That was mine. Scary movie two? That was yours. That was definitely mine. Really? Okay.

Yeah, that was weeks. See, now we've gone in with the softballs and now we're getting to the hard stuff. We've cracked the surface and now we're getting the real juicy. Wolf cock. That's what we do. It's about a wolf with a massive cock that goes around sticking it into other wolves. It's like dancers with wolves, but with John Jarrett. Do you know the really funny thing is when we were kids growing up in the ghetto,

we used to sit there and go, I wonder what a wolf's cock looks like. Yeah. Because we didn't have no wolves in the city. Yeah, we were poor. We didn't have any nature. We didn't have all that shit you guys grew up with. No, well, being white, I mean, you know, that just gets supplied to us automatically. You guys would have ridden wolves to school.

Yeah, sure. And we'd go like, I wonder what a wolf's cock looks like. Yeah. I didn't even know what a cock looked like. And a wolf's cock. We didn't even know what a wolf looked like. No, we had no idea. We were like, what is a wolf? cock. We didn't even know what a wolf looked like. No, we had no idea. We were like, what is a wolf?

Was there anything? People would talk about, you would hear a mention of a wolf in a book or a movie and I would be like, what is a wolf and what does its cock look like? But I'm like that with everything. With books, probably the book you were reading, you were probably like, what is this that I'm reading about?

That's racist. Yeah, sorry. What does a book's cock look like? I liked just before when you said in this film, Wolf Cock, that John Jarrett is going to be in that. Has there ever been an actor who's been in the original movie and the spoof movie as well? I like this idea.

Yeah, no, that's what gives it depth. Yeah. And he's playing the character that Kevin Costner played in Dancers with Wolves, but he's now become a serial killer after hanging out in two worlds for so long. He doesn't know where to fit in. So he just starts carving motherfuckers up.

It's funny. It's a comedy. Yeah. And also there's a wolf going around with a giant cock. With a massive cock. With a massive cock. Right. Are we talking like CGI or like prosthetic puppetry kind of deal?

We are talking an elaborate auditioning process. Does Andy Serkis kind of like, you know, play the cock and then it's sort of like it's CGI'd over the top of him, Golden style? That'd be very funny. Yeah. I was hoping to get Peter Tinklage. So we'd never do it. Classic Wayans Brothers self-effacing humour

that they're known for. Look, the way that you keep talking down your movies like this, Marlon, I'm afraid that this is not going to sell many tickets to your festival show in this interview. Sorry, I don't believe I've talked down any of my movies. My movies are the greatest movies ever made. Oh, right, right. this is not going to sell many tickets to your festival show in this interview that's coming out. I don't believe I've talked down any of my movies. My movies are the greatest movies ever made. Oh, right. There we go.

What he said. The thing is, they are all dramas. And I'm amazed we've never won an Oscar for any of them. People don't get what we're doing. Scary Movie 3 had so much to say about everything going on below the Mason-Dixon line. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

In the pants? Yeah. It's all about what it's like to be a man and how it's hard to really just pull it out sometimes and swing it about and just let people know it's here. It's here. There's nothing wrong with it and it's just doing whatever it has to do.

You can't talk about that too often. That's why Scary Movie 3 is such an important film because it's just about getting it out and wanging it about. And all those... You say, hey, I'm here. Yeah. This is it. Yeah.

Get used to it. Touch it if you want. It's up to you completely. Yeah, put it on your friend's shoulder while they're trying to write a letter and use it to stir your best friend's coffee. You know, like the good old days you know, like the good old days. Yeah, like the good old days. The interesting thing is, I mean, from a family perspective,

is that Keenan Ivory doesn't talk to us anymore. Oh, really? Yeah. And his name is ridiculous. Yeah. Like, we should have stopped talking to him. Yeah. Who's that Keen for Ivory?

Yeah, yeah, I know. That kill elephants? I'm Keen on Ivory too. What? Keen on Ivory too now. Is that a movie that you're working on? The full name is actually Keen on Ivory 2. What? Keen on Ivory 2. Now, is that a movie that you're working on? The full name is actually Keen on Ebony and Ivory. But that beautiful song written about it.

We should wrap this interview up, guys. I know it's a bit of a hack question, but what can people expect out of your comedy festival show when you hit the country? In nine months, lots of new kids. What he said. Well, Marlon and Sean Wayans, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you very much.

Just type that up and I'll send that off before the end of the podcast. Which publication is this? Should I say or will I get fired? Is it for Beat Impress, Herald Sun, The Age? Is it for Fairfax Papers? None of those. Is it for the...ress, Herald Sun, The Age? Is it for Fairfax Papers? None of those. Is it for the... I think we know.

Is it a publication that you've mentioned working for before? I'm not sure if I've mentioned the publication before, so I reckon I probably won't. Do you write interviews for Playboy? Would you like to write... Norman Mailer wrote for Playboy. Yeah. There was a time.

Yeah, there was a time when... Ernest Hemingway probably wrote for Playboy. And Nicole Smith posed for Playboy, you know? It's a classy magazine. Yeah, that's a sentence. Yeah, there was a time. Ernest Hemingway probably wrote the playboy. And Nicole Smith posed for Playboy, you know? It's a classy magazine. Yeah, that's a sentence. Yeah. Yeah. For sure.

And that's the end of it. And now let's welcome back Justin Hamilton and Charlie Pickering. What do you think? Yeah, amazing that you guys managed to sit so quiet while two international superstars were in the room. And you're quite into films. I'm surprised you didn't pipe up. Oh, no, no, no.

It was just great to hear some really interesting questions be answered even more interestingly. It is always great to sit at the feet of some masters and learn. And we literally were sitting at the feet because there's only four chairs here. Schoolboy style,

cross-legged on the floor. Very polite and respectful of you. I'm really starting to cramp up. What I'm curious to know is, and this is maybe more a contractual thing, but obviously Justin and I were booked as the headliners for the podcast. I'm just wondering when you publish it, will this podcast be you guys plus Justin and Charlie or will the Wayans brothers also get billing? Will they also get billing in the podcast?

Are you demanding that we edit the Wayans brothers out of this podcast? Oh, lordy, no. No. Look, I'm not going to lie. We're in a bit of a legal minefield here. I just think this podcast should probably advertise that they were in it. I think they should probably. Special guest cameo.

On iTunes, when someone searches for a Wayans, they should come across the Dumb Dumb. Which I imagine happens on iTunes a lot. Someone just puts in Hawaiians. I don't care which one. Just give me any one. Hawaiians a manger? What?

If we don't get a retweet from the Hawaiians brothers off the back of this, I'll be very disappointed. How many Hawaiians brothers are there? I will be over the moon. How many Hawaiians are there? They're sort of like the American daddos, aren't they? Yeah. That is exactly what they are.

And do you know who's really relieved about that? The Baldwins. Yeah. Which is the one that went nuts and has gone and lived on a... He's gone and lived somewhere. I think it's the Baldwin from The Usual Suspects. Unabomber Baldwin. Unabaldwin. Zeppo Baldwin. He's gone and lived somewhere. I think it's the Baldwin from The Usual Suspects. Unabomber Baldwin.

Unabomber Baldwin. Unabomber Baldwin. Zeppo Baldwin. Zeppo Baldwin. The unfunny Baldwin. No, do you remember, is it Stephen Baldwin that was in it? Yeah, Stephen or Billy Baldwin. Stephen Baldwin was in Usual Suspects. Usual Suspects.

Billy Baldwin was in... Was it Cindy Crawford? Yes. He was in that movie with Cindy Crawford. Yes. He was in that movie Cindy Crawford. His greatest work ever. I think it's still good. You must have seen From Rome with Love. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's fucking great in that. That whole movie is fucking great. Woody Allen, this has become a film podcast, but Woody Allen, I have to say, has found form again. He's in a sweet spot right now. It's fucking great. It's funny because I've got questions for him. I was supposed to interview him as well.

Maybe we should know. Yeah, we'll care you. What he said. You were meant to interview two Woody Allens, weren't you? Charlie saw Woody Allen perform jazz in New York. Really? Busking at a subway station. He really is outside the system, isn't he?

No, he was at the Carlisle Hotel and he does this Monday night jazz gig. It's expensive, isn't it? To stay at the hotel is expensive. We didn't stay there. It shows... Well, it's more expensive than going to see one of his movies. But, you know, it's not... Well, it's not... Yeah, it's not

cheap, but it's like... How much does it cost to see the Wayans Brothers go and play jazz? Play clarinet? Buck and a half. Um... That was so old school. That was so old school. That was like... You can imagine Letterman and

Paul Schaeffer going, that was fucking old school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's also the way you guys are positioned in the room. It does have a bit of, Hammo's just kind of like leaning on a bench there. That's because I've just lost my posture. It looks like you guys are jazz comedians right now, just like watching the other, giving the other one an eyebrow raise. Like, you hit it

hit it now hit it now we have done gigs like this the rhino room yeah you dig at the bowl but it was the thing about

this gig that he does and this is like one of the things I really like he's been doing it for years Monday nights

with the same guys and he really can play he's a really good clarinetist great chops that's the music thing but guys. He really can play. He's a really good clarinetist. Great chops. That's a music thing. But he doesn't go to the Oscars

because he plays this gig. I really respect that. At the same time, does he just know that he's not going to win? I go to Spleen on Monday so I don't go. He's won heaps of awards. Has he won and not been there Because of his gig before

Yeah Yeah he wasn't there For Annie Hall Who accepts on his behalf Producers Producers of the movies Oh really Yeah

So Joffy I think I think that's a mistake I think it should be Actors that have kind of Played a version of him In his movies Like

Kenneth Branagh Kenneth Branagh Kenneth Branagh from Celebrity And Owen Owen and Owen Wilson. Owen Wilson, yeah. Who kind of played a version of him in Midnight in Paris.

They should all get up and kind of... They should get like, what was it, Marlon Brando had a Red Indian come on. They should have

like a Red Indian Woody Allen. That would be a sweet combo. That would be great. Or Marlon Wyans. Yeah, yeah, As a white chick. As Mia Farrow. As Marlon Brando.

I met Kenneth Branagh in Adelaide when he was filming a movie and I talked to him about making that Woody Allen film and he said all the they're in the script. He was saying when people... He said, yeah, I copped a bit of criticism, which was a weird thing to hear from Kenneth Branagh,

who's a fantastic actor. Having him say that sentence to you is a bit like, oh, that's not right. And he's like, I copped a bit of criticism for doing a Woody Allen impersonation, but it's hard not to speak like him when all the... are in there.

Wow. It's just amazing. Yeah. That's... But that's... I. It's just amazing. Yeah. That's... But that's... I guess that's the thing about Woody Allen is Woody Allen's like, I'm only ever going to do exactly what I want to do. So if you don't like it, Kenneth Branagh,

go make an even longer Hamlet. Yeah, yeah. Branagh was into it, though. He was just saying the criticism is like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if Woody Allen turns up to the Academy Awards, does that mean that Kenneth Branagh has to fill in to fill in on clarinet yeah that's exactly right and knowing kenneth branner he could but all the notes are already written for him

uh there is a little bit of feedback again a little bit uh stuff from was it last week or the week before we talked about i got i uh you know i'm a i'm a podcaster i'm a comedian about town i get i get big gig offers all the time. I was offered an email to go and perform under a tarp at a birthday party a couple of weeks ago on a Saturday night. Someone's 30th birthday party, I believe it was. Yes, that's it. I'm pretty sure we've performed under a tarp at a birthday party.

Yeah, we have. And I'm still willing to do it. I've performed on top of a tarp at a birthday party. I did a corporate gig last year which was at someone's house where I did 20 minutes of stand-up in someone's lounge room. It was for a work company and at the end of the financial year they have everyone over and they have canapes, et cetera, and you literally have someone who the introduction she gave me

is one of the greatest intros I've ever had and performed for 20 minutes and then it was a lot of coin and then she gave me expensive bottles of red as a thank you on top of the payment and I was like, well, I will definitely go and perform in your lounge room again. I think this was you got to keep the tarp. You got to keep the tarp. Still a good deal.

It's a good tarp. They've splashed outp Even once 15% of your tarp goes to your agent It's still a good deal Still 85% tarp Pure profit tarp I want this podcast to be called 85% tarp That's why you get an agent I wouldn't have got any tarp on my own

But I got the email and I wondered whether the person that requested this knew of the podcast and why I was being singled out for it. So I got a follow-up email. Once we mentioned it on the podcast, it got back to the person who requested for the gig. And I got a follow-up email just letting me know, hi, Carl, the 30th was a success, except for a small patter of rain at the end of the gig. And I'm going to do a follow-up email just letting me know, Hi Carl, the 30th was a success except for a small patter of rain

at the end of the night. The PA didn't work this time so we had to go off two guitar amps. Aside from that, your estimation was right. About 35 souls came over the course of the night to enjoy a good chuckle. For my birthday bash, I wanted to secure some headlining acts.

I've been a listener of the show since you or someone on your behalf handed out flyers after the end of a raw comedy gig at the Evelyn one time. That was me. That wasn't someone on my behalf. That wasn't someone on your behalf. We don't have any dumb-dumb on our behalfs. That was you on your own behalf. Yes.

I recently tweeted a Nick Cody lookalike photo and you responded to it. This puts you forefront of mind as an accessible comedian, the kind amenable to performing some Gary Chook gear in my backyard. Rather than harass Mr Chandler on his now publicly available mobile number, I thought contact with his manager the more respectful route. I wanted

to ask Mr Allsop, but erroneously assumed he would be the precious or suspicious one. Apparently not at all, going by the episode just aired. He's always been suspicious. Yeah. He's not precious. He's definitely suspicious.

Remember, in the words of friend of the show Tom Gleeson, when you do stand-up, there is always a perverse desire to perform in weird places. So please, guys, do a live dum-dum show on my 30th and you'll awkwardly get the snags and depressed atmosphere you secretly crave. Wow. Okay.

I'm not at all secret about my craving for snags, by the way. I'll put that on record. I want a snag right now. See your mates, John. I like that he goes, the night was a success, it rained and the PA didn't work. So is there another 30th coming up? Is that what's happening

with that? People only have one 30th. No, but he says... He's 31st. Oh, okay. Oh, right. I reckon... The question, what you're trying to say is, how did you get that?

No, no, what I do want to say is, I actually, in all honesty, think you should get two guests and do his 31st. Yeah. Because I reckon they will make a great podcast. Yeah. I think... That would be great.

I think... Live project. We should all do the 31st. Let's do it. Let's just do the gig. Yeah, is he a fan? We'll find out. Sorry, I know that's presumptuous.

He hasn't asked me. He might not think of me as one of the more accessible comedians that he wants to perform under a tarp at his party. You're in his house every night. He yells at the TV when you're on the project and you never answer him back. Like, that's poor form. He puts a tarp over the TV when he watches the project.

We could just lock this in. Yeah. All right, sure. Let's first find out if he's a fan of white chicks and then maybe the Wayans brothers might like to come down. Oh, my God. Carl, Tommy, Justin, Charlie, Marlon. Marlon and Sean dressed up as their characters from white chicks,

you know, just to get over that kind of... Well, we're kind of half doing that anyway. You know, that's what I mean, just to get over that racial nerve. You guys have to... Justin Hamlin and Charlie Pickering have to dress up as Marlon and... What's his name? Sean.

Sean, who then dress up as white women. So you have to... So we'll just put on a wig. Dress as black guys. You have to black up and then white up over the top of that. Charlie's on television. We can't go that far.

I can. I've got go that far. I can. I've got nothing to lose. I've learned... Probably the only lesson I've learned is that I know I'm not allowed to black up. Yeah. Like, everything else is in a grey area, but yeah, it's pretty established I'm not allowed to black up. But then you have to white up after that, so no one's going to see that layer underneath. They're only going to see the white up.

But then I get offended by that. I'm just curious, how did you learn that lesson? It's in the contract. Jackson Jive. You were one of the Jackson Jive. But it's just so simple. It's like in Australia, yeah, that's right, my time in the Jackson Jive.

I am Harry Connick Jr. You got a sweet McDonald's voucher out of that appearance on Saturday. You got a McDonald's voucher. I got a McDonald's voucher and some free legal advice. What I thought was really funny

about that whole Jackson Jive thing was just it happened. And as a nation, as a nation, like as a nation, we were so ignorant of history and culture that we just went, oh, really, that's not cool? I liked how people. Oh, really, really, that's not a cool thing?

Yeah, I liked that people turned on Harry Connick Jr. Like because he was there going, what the fuck? And everyone went, oh, bloody classic Yanksell getting bloody, being a bloody stick in the mud. And I just love, some Some people I heard on radio That excited people going Oh what does What does Harry Connick Jr.

Know about it all anyway I don't know His dad was a civil rights attorney That did that I think he might have known A little bit of that shit Yeah Yeah what does he

What does he know Telling us about What we do in Australia He was trying to kill Sigourney Weaver in that movie That time Copycat Yeah

You know that's not cool In Australia Trying to ask for her undies Over the internet Yeah Fucking creep. Back down, Junior. Hope floats.

Oh, no, something else that floats, Harry Connick Jr. Yeah. Some poos. You know, if you go back and... You know what the best part of that night was, though? Was watching... That's the high watermark of my career. But what people listening to this didn't hear was the fact that I punched the air when I said it.

I punched the air when I said some poo. I didn't know if you wanted someone to keep talking or... The best bit of that was watching Daryl Summers flounder like watching Daryl Summers

like just not understand and watching his world unravel because at that point hey hey it's Saturday was back

it was taken over Wednesday and it was you just you could see him going I don't understand what's going on here but I have a sense that I'm not going to be on air for much longer.

Could you have had, like Daryl Summers in that moment, in a blackface scandal, could you find a better embodiment or a better metaphor just for the clash of like a past generation with the modern generation. Like it was just like you could see the gears grinding of the history on the present and it was

amazing. He was like, no, we're still cool. Anyway, next guest, Rhonda Birchmore and Ricky May. Oh no, he's been dead for 15 years. Reanimate the corpse of Ricky May. Bring him back. Bring him back. Bring him back alongside Ozzy. Did you know what was interesting, though,

right up until the controversy there? Because I watched the first part of it. Yeah. And I had an amazing, overwhelming sense of nostalgia watching it, and I loved it. And I was also watching it, and this is something that everyone focused on the blackface thing, and this might be a little bit fucking TV industry, but that is a complicated TV format.

Oh, yeah. And if you pitched it today, every network would be too scared to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the idea of it's a Tonight Show with a band that can talk whenever they want. There's a voiceover guy who can talk whenever he wants. Yeah.

Words will come up on the screen without the host seeing them. An illustrator can draw a cartoon to satirise whatever is happening going on at the same time. An angel will come down. A puppet. A head on the stick who can say shit that no one else can say on the show. There's a second puppet that can come in

whenever it wants. We've talked about it. Talking fucking ostrich. There's a gay music news dude. Yeah. That you're allowed to refer to as a poof. And it's like... Not just allowed to, encouraged. Loves footy more than anyone else in the country.

How's that for challenging your fucking stereotypes? He's gay, but he kicks balls. How do you feel about that? Yeah, what's going on there? And everything about it, like watching it again, I was going, like it was like putting on a comfortable pair of shoes. Yeah. It was a really heartwarming and beautiful experience.

But the whole time I was watching it going, no one would have the balls to make a show like this anymore. It's a show full of speed bumps. Like how did anything ever get done on that show? Like they'd get through three minutes of content, it'd take them an hour. And the irony of it all, the beautiful thing, and actually what makes it work, is Daryl,

who believes that his hosting is the most unique part of that show. He does it all. And the fact that guests will come on and every single person, he'll move them onto their mark and he'll point on the floor where they have to be standing. person, he'll move them onto their mark and he'll point on the floor where they have to be standing. He clearly

is the executive producer of that show that is control and boss of everything and comes through in the way that he hosts it. He believes in it. There's no irony to it. He just believes that Tonight Show is the greatest show that ever happened. But then again, if you then go and watch Alan Partridge, Daryl Summers

gets a whole lot funnier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get a nice little edge to him. You know, one of my favourite moments on Hey Hey Saturday was, who was the car dealer? Ken Morgan. Ken Morgan. Ken Morgan Toyota.

Later, Ken Morgan Nissan. Yeah. The one night, very quickly, Ken Morgan, in year seven ceramics, we made a pizza, which is one of our projects. We made a pizza. Wasn't that meant to be in Home Ec? No, no. We made pizza with the letters Ken Morgan on the pizza

and went, that's our project this week. And they just sort of gave up. I don't know why we did that. I don't know why we did that. You made a ceramic pizza? Yeah, with the words Ken Morgan on it. Oh, my God. That is the best.

Was one of you, whoever came up with the Ken Morgan, were you just going, we're going to get a fucking car out of this? Yeah. What is a ceramic pizza? That sounds like it's light on the calories. I'll give it a crack.

We put that in a kiln. That was the thing that went in the kiln. Yeah, right. Yeah, you thought it was a wood fire oven. Anyway. There was a night when someone actually won Pluck-A-Duck and Red and Wilbur. Just quickly, isn't that insane that we said all that insane stuff about it and we left out the giant duck giving away prizes?

Giving away prizes. Like you can forget about an element like that? He was a late inclusion. Did Johnny come lately? Was he Fonzie jumping the shark? I don't know. Or was he the blood transfusion the show needed? Like was he the new element?

After Chuck Lotto, where do you go from there? I don't know. Giant duck plucking other ducks. There was also Russell Gilbert in the audience yelling out as well. Yeah. Which the first couple of times he just thought it was some Gilbert in the audience yelling out as well. Which the first couple of times, he just thought it was some dude from the audience. He's gone, they've got to screen this crowd better.

This guy's out of control. The producer thought that at the same time. He just got a job out of it. That's a guy you booked. No, Ken Red and Wilbur drove out the Ken Morgan car and they drove it out so poorly, they scraped the sides of the doors up against the perspex

and you actually saw Ken Morgan just going holy shit what have you guys done and Red and Wilbur just having for that moment are going

oh well it's done now but it was it was it was fucked that whole brand new car was fucked down the side I remember he went broke

like he's not I don't think he's dealing anymore he might be doing second hand cars but I'm pretty sure that's because he was insistent on giving cars away because it would mean he would be on Hey Hey Saturday and he wanted to please everyone. So he's on there giving carols away every week. Right.

I don't know if you, you've done seven days, haven't you? Yeah. It's a New Zealand, it's like Good News Week. Yeah. New Zealand's Good News Week. It's hosted by a guy Called Jeremy Corbett Yep Who's one of the best comedians

In the world Like I think He's amazing And one of the Sharp One of the nicest guys In the world And he's absolutely

Fucking incredible And he told a story Of a game show They had in New Zealand Where The whole show For an hour Was a bunch of

Stunts and challenges that various competitors had to take part in and it would come up to one final challenge and they could win $100,000, right? But the odds of them winning $100,000 was really quite small. So anyway, the first week, it's like just a, you know, it's like pull a fucking ping pong ball out of a bingo machine at the end, have you won. And the guy out of 100 bingo balls pulls it out, wins $100,000.

And they go, fuck. First thing going, fucking great. This is brilliant. Great publicity for the show. Someone wins 100 grand first episode. That is brilliant. The next week they hid the balls at the bottom, like all over the place in an aquarium, at the bottom

of an aquarium and people had to swim down and they had to collect as many as they could and if they got the winning one they would win the prize. But what happened is they set it up with all the balls all over the place earlier in the day and during the day a bottom feeding fish moved all the balls into one spot in the middle and they had no time in the day. And during the day, like a bottom-feeding fish moved all the balls

into one spot in the middle and they had no time to change it. So when they went to where, it's just a big pile of balls, and a guy just went and got all of them and won the hundred grand. Right? And at this point, they were fucked. Right? The budget for the rest of the season, like they thought maybe it'll go off once in the season, right?

And they've done it twice in two episodes. If I was a new seven, I would make a seven days pizza. And then, this wasn't seven days. This was a show that Corbett had worked on before. I'll withdraw my pizza reference. Don't waste that fucking ceramic pizza. Overruled. Anyway, the last week they just had a giant fucking wheel.

And they had to spin it. And they spun the fucking wheel. And Corbettett who was working on the show yeah as he was one of the writers and one of the producers standing with john bridges the other producer of the show and they were standing backstage with one of the guys from the network and uh and jeremy goes um so what number is the prize under and the guy goes 37 and then you hear it go 37 and, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, couldn't risk it anymore. Oh, wow. That's great. That's amazing. Yeah. Wow. That's really funny, though.

It's either one of the great true stories of all time or an amazing story they tell to Aussies visiting to take piss out. Either way, it's still a great story. Just a top Hey Hey Saturday stories. Yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah, we give away 100 grand every week. Oh, we had a show called Hey Hey, it's every day. And we did a show every day of the week. And we gave away a billion dollars.

Just all that Hey Hey stuff was making me think, you should do show every day of the week and we gave away a billion dollars eat a shit just when that hey hey stuff was making me think you should do a special night of the project where you get a cartoonist in

you have a guy doing captions I'll be Dickie Neat yeah I'd love you to be Dickie Neat gee Mr Pickering tell us about

that rape in Marabba Mr Pickering I'm in. Let's do that. Do that line. Do that as a set-up line. Gee, Mr Pickering, tell me about that rape in Moorabbin. Police are looking for witnesses.

We've made television history. Well, guys, that is all the time we have on the Little Dumb Dumb Club for this week. Justin Hamilton, Charlie Pickering, thank you very much for joining us. Absolute pleasure. Thank you. Comedy Festival, you can see Justin Hamilton in the shelf every Monday night. Every Monday night. Are there still season tickets available for the shelf?

Are you still on the mall? We finish at the end of Feb for season tickets. What time does it start, the show? 7.30. 7.30, so you'll be able to miss the first half hour while you're going to the live Dum Dum Club on Monday nights at the Town Hall. Yeah, if that's your choice. Whatever you want to do.

But the good thing is... A Sophie's choice. A Sophie's choice. Yeah, exactly. You could see both because our show goes for something like three and a half hours. And also, people can hear your podcast, Can You Take This Photo Please? on iTunes and on your website. Check that out.

Charlie, you're doing a show? I am doing a show with Waleed Ali called The World's Problem Solved. There's a few less after today, obviously. Yeah, done. Tigger box. Can white guys pretend to be black guys again? Yes, they can. Isn't that interesting

that I made some really fucking lofty lofty point about how backward Australia was not knowing it wasn't cool to black up in a podcast

where we pretended to be the Wayans brothers. I was gagging on the irony. What he said. But our show, we're doing four one-off, one-hour shows.

They're on like Saturday and Sunday afternoons and basically each time we'll take a big problem facing the world and we're going to solve it. The last one, we promise to achieve world peace in an hour. We have a solution for world peace. Does it involve the Wayans brothers?

Because they'll be in town at that time. They could be involved. You should look at making... in town at that time. They could be involved. You should look at making... There's a theatrical element and they could be involved. You should look at... But in a way, we're all involved in world peace. In a way, we're all a Wayans brother, aren't we? Guys, if you're listening to this when it's come out,

we're in Brisbane right now doing our shows at the Brisbane Powerhouse. I'm on seven o'clock. Carl, you're after me. What's that? You're 9.30? No, why are you trying to make people late to my show? 8.30. By the way, the intro to that was, if you're listening to this,

we're dead. We've been taken hostage by the Wayans brothers. Ask the Wayans brothers. Not Keenan Ivory. He doesn't know anything about it. We're going to blast this SD card into space after this so that the Martians can hear this and be thoroughly confused. Come and pay respect to our battered corpses at the Brisbane Powerhouse.

They'll be on display all week. Do you know what? If you're a fan of comedy, clearly you are if you're listening to this, but if you haven't been down to the Powerhouse for the Brisbane Comedy Festival, get down there. It's one of the great events going on. I think I'm there. What else are you going to do? Drink Bundy

and punch someone? Come on. How do you get that? That's Thursday nights. Thursday nights. Is that someone's birthday party? We've got our shows on until Sunday and we've also on Saturday we've got the live little Dum Dum Club happening at 4pm. We just confirmed this week a big guest who's never been on the show before.

We can't say who it is but it's someone who's around the festival. Big name. International guest. It's an international guest that's never been on the show before. We can't say who it is, but it's someone who's around the festival. Big name. International guest. International guest. Is it an international guest that's been here before to the country? Yes. Or is it a new one? Yes.

Like, where from? Where are they from? Who knows? We can't say. But if you look at the Brisbane Comedy Festival guide and have a look at who's there at the same time, you may be able to work it out. We've also got... I'm going to be in Adelaide straight after that for two weeks.

And then Melbourne. We're doing our own shows. We've got the live Little Dum Dums in the Town Hall on Monday night. Come see us. Send us an email, littledumdumclub at gmail.com. We're on Twitter, we're on Facebook. Thank you very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mate!