The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 131 - Tony Martin & Greg Fleet

Episode Date: March 26, 2013

The Terminator 2 Dining Experience, Bart Simpson Underpants and Fleety's Phonecall.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, the Comedy Festival is upon us. It is happening in Melbourne right now. Carl, say I'm someone who's interested in seeing some things at the Comedy Festival. What can I go and check out that I might enjoy? If you're listening to this, you may enjoy a little thing that we do called the Live Little Dumb Dumb Club on a Monday in Melbourne. I've heard of it. Yes, okay, I'll go on then. 7.15 at the Town Hall. We do an absolutely live hour podcast. We've got three special guests on there, minimum. Yep.

We don't have a maximum at this point. Okay. I'm going to say maximum of like 10. 10 would be too many. 10's a lot. 10's too many. I'm going to guarantee less than 10. Single-figured guests.

Between three and 10 special guests every episode, Mondays in the Town Hall. You can find our ones from last year at the little dum-dum club.bandcamp.com and have a listen and see what you'll be in for we had amazing guests we've got amazing shows lined up as well we're also doing our own stand-up comedy shows uh every night of the festival in the forum theater 7 15 you can see my show spread then you can have a little break in between get yourself a little bit of dinner and then follow it up at 9.45 with Carl Chandler has literally 1.5 million jokes.

And also on top of that, heaps of friends of the show. Go and look at the blackboard, look at the guide. So many people who've been on the show have shows. Here's a quick suggestion. If you want to watch the whole three, if you want to watch Tommy and my show in between, you can go and see Xavier Michaelides' show. Yeah, in the same venue.

Yeah, really wear yourself out. Yep. Really poop yourself. And for people in Sydney, as soon as that finishes, we are coming up to do a quick run of both of our shows in Sydney at the end of April. Yeah, April 25th. We're doing our own shows for three nights only. We've got a live little dum-dum club on the Saturday, all at the Factory Theatre. And we might be planning something a bit special for after the live show.

We'll keep you updated on that. But, yes, sydneycomedyfest.com.au for all the tickets for that. Guys, that's enough plugging. You get the show for free every week. Please come down, spend some money, see some live comedy. We'd love to see you there, and enjoy the festival. See you, mates. Hey, mates.

Welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Thank you very much for joining us. Sitting next to me, as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. What have you got going on today for us? Well, man, this podcast better move me some festival tickets because I've just realised that I've double booked myself. I'm doing this podcast when I should be in the middle of a photo shoot right now for

the Boroondara leader. That's big business. I could be out on Glenferry Road right now with a clown's nose on or maybe chattering teeth or whatever those idiot photographers usually get you to do. Yep, a rubber chicken. There'll be big pants that are way too big for you. Big squishy shoes. Or maybe chattering teeth or whatever those idiot photographers usually get you to do. Yep, a rubber chicken. Yeah, yeah, rubber chicken. There'll be big pants that are way too big for you. Big squishy shoes.

In the nude in the middle of Barker's Road probably. Dick hanging out. Classic newspaper photo shoot. So what do you mean you've double booked? Like when did you, you sound like you've just realised this now. I did. Like there's a camera crew there waiting for you right now. No, no, no.

I got a phone call on the way in here going, I'm going to be a little bit late. And I'm like, I reckon I can trump you. I'm not going to be there at all. Yeah, exactly. Because you do have a history of great pictorial photo shoots. There was two years ago you were in the MX with your shirt off. That was not my choice. With jokes written all over your chest, memento style.

Yeah, that was not my choice. Wow, this is disappointing. I kind of regret us doing this now because it's to think that we're getting in the way of another classic comedy photo shoot of yours. Well, now that you've mentioned that, that's a big chance of happening again because I'll be running there and just trying to think desperately of something

to use as content and something because they always go, oh, we need something sexy. And it's like, well, you know what? Me taking my shirt off isn't that. I can stand next to someone sexy. I like, because I know, you know, a little bit of how this works

is that you pitch a story to a newspaper and you go, we can do this for a photo. This will be a great image. But I like how the leader are that desperate. They're just going, look, we'll schedule the time and the place, and then you just think of something to do on your way there. I would say only trump by the desperation of me hitting them up to get in there. In the Burundara leader.

Oh, I can't wait to see this. This is a good sort of thing to talk about in the future, to talk about next time we meet up. But let's get on to our guests. We've got a powerhouse combination of guests today. Is that fair? That's very fair. Is that a word that gets chucked around too much?

I think that's the first time we've ever used it, so I think that's fine. Yeah, great. First of all, he's been on the show many times before. He's a comedy legend. Please welcome back into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Greg Fleet. Yeah. Wow.

Our other guest was better behaved. I kept chipping in as you were talking before the interview. I feel bad because we're actually recording this on a stage at Five Burrows, and it feels like there's a whole audience. All the chairs are set up, it just looks like somehow we've really fucked up the marketing of this podcast. We've got two really good guests on and no one's turned up.

Yeah, sorry guys. We should have gotten that photo in the Burundara Leader a bit earlier. On that photo shoot thing, Tommy Little and I turned up. Tommy Little and I call each other B, and a lot of people say, why do you call him B, or why does he call you B? It's because we turned up, I didn't even really know him, it it's about two years ago we turned up for a photo shoot and we there was about eight people at the photo shoot I won't say who the others were but we

looked at each other and went have you got a sort of distinct impression this is a real B team photo call because we were the most famous people there and there was like you know there was no you know Tom or Will or anyone like that it was kind of like they've obviously asked a lot of people thanks for that to be honest that's robbie guinning we didn't get the b call so we're off on the c team yeah yeah we were off on a d d photo show with with zig and zag and uh pascal daniels and uh oh that's mean. Poor Zach. I don't know who that is, so I don't think that's fair. Getting lumped in with those guys. Also joining us on the show today, sitting here very politely,

you know him from Get This and from The Late Show, among many, many other things, please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Tony Martin. Oh, thank you. Thanks, guys. Guys, I don't have a comedy festival show, but just tell me the names of you. What's the name of your show, Carl?

The name of my show is Carl Chandler Has Literally 1.5 Million Jokes. See, that suggests a concept. Fleety, what have you... Mine is, yet again, just harking on about the same old thing. It's called The Boy Who Cried So Good. See, that's got a theme, and you've got a show. Mine is called Spread. Spread.

See, is there an idea behind that? Yeah, it's about how my great-grandpa invented Vegemite. Right, see, you've thought this through. A friend of mine, D.C. Root, is doing his first comedy festival show this year. And I had to explain to him that in the old days, the comedy festival was in April, but you had to book it around about February. Then it got to January, and then it was December. I remember in 2000 it was December.

Now it's like October. It's October, yeah. And the further it goes back, the more generic the names of the shows are. Yeah. So it would just be like, you know, somebody bust and loose. I noticed this year Peter Helly's show is just called What Ifs. Yeah, yeah. Obviously Kevin White's called him up about it.

What are we putting? I haven't written it yet. It's called What Ifs. I've been hooked into that before where I've got the name of a show. It was one year I did a show called Where Is My Pony? And then I come around, coming up to the festival, I went, I'm totally, not only do I have nothing relating to the topic, I'm totally over it.

And the show had nothing to do with it. And a lot of people, they kept waiting. You could see this look, this sort of equine expectation on people's faces. Yeah, because not only did you... I remember you called it that and then in the blurb you mentioned, I want to get a pony and this show is going to be about me trying to get a pony. So you didn't just do the title, you went the whole hog with it. No, you went the whole hog because not only that,

I went to see the show and you had Harley Breen doing 25 minutes up front. He's a pony. Riding him like a pony. What was underwater world? Was that? No, that actually was the matter. That came from my girlfriend at the time said to me, it was one year in Edinburgh where I'd done a show that went pretty well.

And I was going, oh, what do you want to do next year? And she went, she said, I went, oh, look, you could do a show about anything. You could do a show about being underwater. And I went, all right, I'm going to do that. And it was actually linked to that. There was a story, like a sort of theatrical bit, going through it in three chunks about a guy living in a hotel, an old man,

and the world was drowning and the water was up to the 15th floor of the hotel. So it kind of had, and most of the stand up was aquatically themed. That must have been when you could register in February. Yeah, because it was summer. I always say I'm pretty sure I was at Fleety's first

ever stand up gig. Oh, really? Wow. In 87, would that be right? At the Prince. Prince Pat? Yeah, yeah. This is how I remember it. Me and Tom Gleisner went down for a night of comedy at the Prince Pat pack this is how i remember it me and tom gleisner went down for a night of comedy at the prince pat and i don't think we'd ever been there before and we got there and you know there's that brian mccarthy yeah moosehead yeah it was like the thursday after he had just died so it was like a wake and the way i remember it is they went oh it's

terrible he's dead we're all very. Now welcome a young man making his first performance, Greg Fleet. You came out with a chair and your whole gimmick was that you were a sit-down comedian. But I do remember, I hope you don't mind me revealing this, that a large chunk of the act was reading out bits from the Golden Turkey Awards. Oh, was it really? A book that you'd yellowed with a highlight pic. What's the Golden Turkey? Is that a joke book?

No, it was a book by the guys who did the book called The 50 Worst Films of All Time. It's about bad movies. Harry Medved. It was a great book at his time. That was the Harley Breen of its day. Instead of getting Harley Breen to open for you, you just read out of that book.

I remember I also played a song on the mandolin and on the back of the mandolin I'd written in text, I am funny, and I'd sort of turned it around and I'd read it to the audience. But no, I had done probably, I'd done quite a few gigs before he died, so they might have been mucking around, but I mean, not that many, but probably ten or something.

No, but it wasn't a good night. No. A gig probably should have been cancelled in all fairness. It is comedy festival time and we're talking about shows and stuff. There's a show in the guide that I'm fascinated by.

It's Confessions of an Ex-Male Stripper and it's all like an anonymous thing where it's like the poster and the photo in the guide is like a sort of you know silhouetted kind of ripped sort of Adonis kind of body. But the show's on at 6pm.

Yeah, right. That just destroys me because I... You know why? They've moved it so they didn't clash with Fawlty Towers. Oh, come on. The dining experience. Is this the year Fawlty Towers, the dining experience, finally gets the Barry?

Yeah, finally. No, it's not in a hub venue, so it'll never get it. I think that's what it is. I remember seeing the guy who played Manuel walking around going, damn, you're Keating the musical. Because I was just in Adelaide doing the Fringe Festival, and in the advertiser, which is the big paper that reviews shows there, the Fawlty Towers dining experience got five stars.

And so everyone was sort of talking about it, going, you know what, if that's getting five stars, who cares? Like, it doesn't matter what they think of your show. But then I was talking to another comedian saying that around him and he goes, hey, man, the same person that reviewed The Fawlty Towers Dining Experience reviewed my show and only gave it three and a half stars, so get fucked. He didn't have a meal.

That's the problem. Do you think it's one of those things where sometimes, you know, you hear stories about reviewers they're supposed to go and see a show and then you find out that they haven't gone and seen the show

and they've just sort of written a generic review do you think that guy's done that and just stayed home and watched the episode where Basil's like

whacking a car with a lean cuisine fresh out of the microwave and watched a DVD yeah that was pretty good that was awesome I'm amazed that

the Fawlty Towers dining experience is the only, that someone hasn't jumped on and gone. Terminator 2, the dining experience. That's the first one that comes to mind, obviously. That's the logical leap, yeah. The dining experience has improved on the television Fawlty Towers because they've corrected the spelling of the word faulty.

That has been bothering people for years. Yeah, any spelling aficionados, get down. I like the idea of Terminator 2, the dining experience. I need your clothes and how many people are in your party. Every time you try and eat something, it explodes. You get shot out with a comedy noise. I'll be back with dessert. I can remember something Tony did.

This isn't very linked to what we were talking about. Anything to get us off Arnie impressions. You did this really elaborate comedy thing and it was like really tragic moments in history put to hilarious sound effects. And there was like the space shuttle Challenger exploding and when it blew up there were two bits that sort of flew off either side and it was a horrible image.

And he goes, when it explodes and the two bits spin off, it goes... That was because of Funniest Home Videos. That's right. So long ago that that was a new idea. So we just got the Rodney King beat. That's right. And put wacky...

So was that part of the Late Show? That was on the Late Show, yeah. We did that for... That one was on the Late Show, but the Spatial and all the others, we had shark attacks. It really... Yeah, just live.

But it was at Le Joke. Would you guys be old enough to know what Le Joke is? It might have been in the show with no name. Or was it earlier? We did a show together called The Show With No Name. That was obviously written in February. That's right. It was written after the show, actually.

It did have, what was the musical? It opened with, this is how old it was, it opened with Cape Fear, the musical. It was quite topical at the time. And that was the original Cape Fear the music. Oh, wow. It was quite topical at the time. And that was the original Cape Fear as well. Yeah, exactly. I'll just bring up the Late Show because I actually had an experience, I think, two weeks ago where a moment in the Late Show

where there was a running gag there for a while where, what, Mick Malloy would take his pants off and have Bart Simpson underpants on and run through shows, TV shows. It was an accident the way it happened first because we went to the Meyer doorbuster sale and we had all these gags. We had a giant battering ram. We had everything ready to go.

And this was the one year that only 30 people showed up. There was nobody there. Just nobody showed up. Right. There was nobody there. Just nobody had showed up. So we were, like, desperate. This was on a Friday, and our show was going to air the next night, and we'd promised this fantastic opening. So we were just literally desperate,

walking around Myers going, what can we do? And Ernie and Denise were broadcasting their show live, and Mick's just gone, I'll just take my pants off and run onto the set and that'll be comedy. Gold. So he had the Bart Simpson jogs,

which is what he happened to be wearing. I always remember about that. He's Dennis Waltersaurus and came over and thought, oh, this could be funny. I'll get involved. And then when he saw the underpants, he just suddenly realised it was this look like Has My Career sunk to this point

and suddenly just wanted nothing to do with it the underpants were fine but the bart simpson touch was over the over the top yeah we just kept doing it on other shows and yeah yeah now what happened was um and this was brought up to me the other day but i remember i think it finished because for like five minutes into your show one night someone decided to do a real person got out from the audience and jumped on stage in the front of you and Mick with his Bart Simpson underwear on and it was this real weird awkward moment

where it's like is this a thing is this a real sketch and then clearly it wasn't and they dragged him off set and sort of nothing more was said about it and we were like confused because we were going is this something that the others have like we didn't know and we were quite lame in our response. It really needed a good...

Billy Crystal at the Oscars kind of singer and nobody had any... There's not many jobs other than comedy where you can go, hang on, is this really funny? Is this really funny or life-threatening? Is this meant to be happening? Well, I met the man that jumped up in his Father Simpson underwear. There he comes now.

Now, what happened is I met him, and not only that, he's a full-time comedy writer now. I worked with him the other day on a TV thing. And the story came out, and someone else told me that it was him responsible. And when I brought it up, he shit his pants because he'd never been telling anyone about it, thinking that somehow the ABC mafia was still going to get him for it. Still going to get him.

Yeah. The ABC mafia. But you've been wearing them pants, haven't you? We need to wait until he has his own show. Like 20 years from now and then a really elderly Mick Molloy can come running out in his underpants and ruin that show. Well, he said that the whole idea was that he got dared the night before to do it or whatever, and then the rest of the day he had to track down a pair of Bart Simpson underwear, and then like an hour before the show, they'd got tickets for the show in the front row,

but it was only going to work if he had his Bart Simpson underwear on. So he found out that his brother was wearing a pair of Bart Simpson's underwear out at Chadston at the movies. wearing a pair of Bart Simpson's underwear out at Chadston at the movies. So he raced out to Chadston and went into the cubicle and changed underwear with him and then took off to Elstenwick. But why is he having to? It's a pair of Bart Simpson. Like, you can probably buy them in 7-Eleven.

Well, back then. What, in the 90s before the Simpsons took off? When is this time when it was hard to find a piece of Simpsons merchandise? You know what? I don't even know why he told me this story about changing. He should have told me your story there. If he was really inspired, he would have just got a whole lot of little tiny Bart Simpson dolls and pinned them to the underwear he was wearing.

Yeah, there's a way out than switching underwear with your brother. Or if he'd had a bit of DIY, like he's just wearing white kind of white fronts and he's just gotten a Sharpie and done it himself. So what happened was he then got into, he basically wore a big, massive, really conspicuous overcoat. With Bart Simpson on it. No, yeah. So he just had the underwear underneath, the overcoat on top, like as if you're two young boys on top of each other sneaking into a cinema. He got into the front row, and then I think Judith Lucy would do warm-up

as well as be on the show. And apparently she just saw him in the front row and went, here we go, and just did 10 minutes of how stupid this guy looked. And like, oh, what are you wearing this for? Are you a flasher? What are you doing? 10 minutes, start of the show,

immediately he takes off the coat and jumps on stage and Judith goes, oh, right. But that must have been been him sitting there going, because it's being directed at him in the warm-up, going, should I just do it now? Or should I wait? Maybe I'm getting greedy. Yeah, well, apparently he was then grabbed off set

and then just marched outside and then had to sit out like a naughty boy outside in the cold, outside ABC Studios. Beaten up by Ruth Cracknell. Tim Bowden from Backjack. I'm still a dentist. And what's the show he's writing for now? Should I say?

Yeah, say it. The Project. Oh, The Project. That's the work on The Project. I should wait so we should run onto the set of The Project. Yeah. Well, what happened was... They should have, when they dragged him outside,

they should have had him frozen in carbonite like Han Solo and then just have him hanging above in the ABC studios during all the shows as an example. So you just leave Spix and Spex behind Adam Hills as just a guy just frozen there in suspended animation. Well, what happened was the next day, so I was working there for the week, the next day he told me that story.

I'm like, oh my God, that's amazing. This is so funny. And he was like, yeah, yeah, I've never for the week. The next day, he told me that story. I'm like, oh, my God, that's amazing. This is so funny. And he was like, yeah, yeah, I've never told anyone that for like 10 years, 15 years or whatever. The next day, Mick Malloy was working on Before the Game and walked through the studio. And I didn't realize, but I just saw the guy who was telling me the story look at me and go, and shit his pants. And I went, what? I looked up, it's Mick Malloy. And I'm like, oh, no, I can't do it.

I can't do it. This is great. But then I saw Mick Molloy on the weekend. And I said to him, I told the same story. And he said, where is he? Where is he? I'll get him right now. I'm like, no, no, he's actually not here.

And he's like, oh, okay, whatever. And then walked away. And then I realised, oh, no, you're really drunk. And if I retold this story back to you now, you wouldn't remember. You're lucky that story's actually interesting, because otherwise, just a lot of name-dropping. Just hanging out with Big Malloy while I was doing some work on the project, this little thing came up.

Hanging out with a guy in Bart Simpson underwear. Clang. Well, we're talking TV stuff. Fleety, you've got an exciting role coming up on the next series of Underbelly. Yes, I do indeed. I play a very violent kind of multiple murderer and prison rapist. I actually rape a prison. Force a building to have sex with me against its will. Is this the Squizzy Taylor?

Yeah. Now, is that because someone at nine's gone, look, he won't sue. There's not going to be... It's not going to be, like, pixelated like there was with Tony Robb Bell. We just keep going back in time. Yeah.

That was amazing, that first series of Underbelly, where they could, like, to get it on DVD, like, you had to drive to, like, across the state line. Yeah. Because they couldn't... And I remember a friend having it on DVD, like you had to drive to like across the state line. Yeah. Because they couldn't, and I remember a friend having it on DVD and just looking at it was like blowing my mind, like, where did you get that? It's like back in the day where you used to have VHS comedy videos that were banned in Queensland.

Do you remember that? Do you remember that, Tony? Yeah. Well, what was the, is it because of swearing? Yeah. I think like when Joe Bjorki-Peterson ran things, everything was pretty bad up there and you couldn't do anything. But didn't Rodney Rood get in trouble with the police up there?

Why? You looked to me like... Because you're the authority, you will know. But you like Rodney Rood, that's why. Yeah, I like... No, I'm fascinated by the idea of Rodney Rood. You don't know his whole canon of work. Actually, someone, a friend of the show,

I won't name them who works on the radio called me up the other day because they wanted to try and get Rodney Roode on their show and he was like so you'll have a contact for him?

How do I get in touch with him? I'm like why would I why would I know that? Just when you drop into Comedy HQ next time. The comedy cave. Yeah next time I'm hanging out

at his farm in Byron Bay or wherever he lives getting some sweet pointers from him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, Fleety, I haven't seen you on any of the ads, though. It's all, like, half-naked women. So how come the Fleetman didn't make the cut? Well, I don't know. The show's about crime and the unnecessary exposing of breasts.

So I don't know why I didn't make... No, the other thing about that show is I thought it was going to be on about now and I haven't seen it advertised for ages. Yeah. So they've shelled the hell out of it. Yeah, they did that thing where they pumped it up in January and it's not on until August. They've given it a bit of die on your feet.

That's what they've done. Well, that's the thing. Both my great achievements are about to be released. I'm glad that's been brought up. Where is it? Where is it? It's going to be screened on Saturday the 13th of April in the Comedy Festival at some theatre.

Tell the truth, did you sell the whole series to Cash Converters? Yes. Well, I've been paying it off over time. Cash Converter had the rights to die on your feet. That would be amazing. But when was it made? Two and a bit years ago. Two and a bit years ago.

And am I right in saying that this is the last performance of Bill Hunter? Oh. I think he did one other thing. The last thing that's coming out. That will be, yeah. Yes, yes, absolutely. So, in a way, the longer it's delayed, the longer Bill Hunter's career will go. Yes, will keep going.

Like, he's still not finished yet. Bill Hunter will be the longest-working actor in show business by the time this comes on. He already was. Well, you can check his ass, Rob. The whole idea is they're screening it on the 13th in the Comedy Festival, and I think this is the idea behind it, screening it to the general public and a few TV executives

and journalists and stuff with the hope that some TV guy will sit there and go, wow, everyone really likes this, or we better get it. I think that's the logic. The rumour that you hear, and I don't know if this is true, is that because Adam Hills is saying the C word so much... He doesn't say it that much, he says it like twice. But he's not. It's not normal Adam Hills. No, and he's also a bit of a philanderer and stuff like that in the show.

He gets around behind his girlfriend's back I hear that the ABC Don't want people to see it Because it will shatter Adam Hills' valuable Well that's what I was told Was that they really liked it

Everyone's really liked it But for some reason Everyone has a reason Not to do it Adam Hills has put his foot down Yeah Yeah Boom

They said he's the face Of the network And this is the people who were in charge i mean there are new people now as always in charge so hopefully they won't feel this way but they said he's the face of the network and we're worried that people will see him swearing dropping the c-bomb and behaving in a in a bad way and think he's not a good person rather than thinking he's a good actor so it'd be like alexabst on Play School suddenly having sex with a gimp in the bathroom. Which, as a friend of Alex Pabst, I can tell you he does. It's frustrating.

The other thing that happened was the BBC saw it and went, this is fantastic, and because Adam Hills is known in the UK, they went, this is fantastic, we're going to air it. And then the people from the BBC got back to the producers and said we're not allowed to play it until it's been played in its country of origin and then the movie network went oh we love it, we'll take it and then they rang back a week later and we've just been put out

of business and so everyone who touches it just gets poisoned or polonium or something This is great because the follow up series to Die on Your Feet can be you trying to get Die On Your Feet on the air. That's amazing. Yeah, because it's about comedians.

So absolutely, that's what we've already talked about. If it ever gets to next season, it's just going to be about the – I mean, people wouldn't believe the last couple of years, I kind of went two and a half years ago, I've kind of put all my eggs in this one basket and went, this is my best shot at a career. And then you lost the basket. Yep, and I hocked the basket.

It's just been the most stressful, hideous couple of years, just going, well, my life could change immensely tomorrow or not. And it's been a lot of 765 days of not. Is it a chance of being picked up by the History Network? Probably. What about an idea you mentioned just before we started this, which is a lot of people listening would be familiar with Greg's performance on Prisoner, in episode 517.

That's true. He knows so much about it. Hang on, we'd better check that up on IMDB. Oh, no, he's here right now. He's here. I was wondering how you had'd better check that up on IMDb. Oh, no, he's here right now. He's here. I was wondering how you had that 517 tattooed on your arm there. Delivery Man 2, one of the great Delivery Man performances. Yes, that's true.

You've talked many times of your tense relationship on set with Delivery Man 1. Who also Lockie Hume had problems with when he acted with him too. Did he? Yeah, he said it on your show. He said, I've acted with that guy and he treated me the same way. But now there's Wentworth. Yep.

So what's that? It's like Prisoner, The Next Generation? I guess the children of those prisoners have gone bad. But surely Delivery Man 2. I reckon I could approach the producers and say, you know, logically that guy would now own the company if he was ambitious and young and everything. It's now 30 years later, he'd be, you know,

he'd own the company and he could come back as Delivery Man 1. I would do Wentworth and, you know, just deliver a robot or whatever we had to do. Deliver a robot or whatever to the prison. That's what we did. Deliver a robot to a prison. Last time We were taking a robot that the prisoners had made to a children's fate.

Hang on, was this Prisoner of Fortress with Warwick Kappa? No, it was Prisoner, and we had to take it out and load it into this truck and take it away. And, of course, there was a prisoner hiding in the robot. Oh, Trojan Prisoner. And that's how... What was the name of the head baddie? The sort of bad one.

That's how... The freak. Yeah, the freak. The freak and the top dog and all those people. That's how they took over Troy. Oh, yeah, yeah. With this prisoner on a robot. That and a steam press.

Yeah, yeah. Now, is there anyone we know... Physical humor on podcast. I heard Lawrence Mooney was going to be in Wentworth, but that anyone we know? Physical humour on podcast. I heard Lawrence Mooney was going to be in Wentworth, but that must be a thing that's not happening. No, I heard that. Yeah, I think that's happening. It is happening?

I think so. Lawrence Mooney in Wentworth, like a regular role? Yeah. I read somewhere he was, on Twitter he said he was on his way to film something for it. Oh, maybe. Maybe he just had a one-off thing. I know he's working on a show, like a panel. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he was in The Cup. And my friend Sam Pang always likes to talk about his brilliant performance as the Belmont starter. I didn't think he has any lines. Yeah. He's just got waving at some horses. Lawrence Mooney is. Yeah, Lawrence Mooney.

Oh, really? He's a Belmont star. That's how I worked on this show, Cane and Disabled with Sam and Lawrence. And whenever Lawrence was having trouble, Sam would go, give it a bit of bell monster. What was Cane and Disabled? Oh, yeah, I know what it is. That was for the

Paralympics. The other one was in the Cup, the guy who plays Frankie DeTore in the Cup plays Squeezy Taylor in Underbelly Squeezy. The Cup was one of those movies where so much of the story was told by the news.

Right. Keep cutting to newsreaders. Oh, right, right. Wayne Hope does a really funny impression of The Cup, which is just him coming in and throwing his car keys on the coffee table and switching on the news. Well, if Damien Oliver doesn't win this one, it'll be a tragedy for his family and racing

as a whole. Just quickly getting back to Squizzy Fleety Seat. Now, I mentioned just before the show I'm doing in the Comedy Festival about my great-grandfather who invented Vegemite, a man by the name of Fred Walker. Would have been around that time. Pardon? Well, that's it. When I was researching him

I found out that Squizzy stole my great-grandpa's car. He stole Fred Walker's car. And this is sort of in the show, so it's spoiling it a little bit, but he called up Fred and went, yeah, I needed to run some errands, so I just borrowed your car from out the front of your work. You can come and get it from St Kilda if you want. And Fred goes, no, none of that. You tell you what, you bring it back to me in in Richmond and I won't tell the cops what's happened. So Squizzy brings

the car back and then as he's leaving, Walker just calls the cops on him anyway. Oh, that's dangerous. Now, I'm disappointed that I didn't do this show many years earlier. I didn't know this before because I would have been pushing to try and get in on the Squizzy action. I've got some kind of family tie to him. I thought a better idea may be to have Fleety Bear cameo in your show as Squizzy Taylor going to jail. And then as he walks out, have him come back out as delivery man number two in the jail scene. They've like reformed him.

You should see in Squizzy, I will say this, the stuff that I do is so creepy. Some of it is so it's just quite horrifying i watched it back and i was going oh my god well now i just want die on your feet to air so that someone can do a mega mix where they cut you from underbelly into scenes of die on the feet to make your character just look like even like just horrific yeah weren't you another prison rapist in the hard word weren't you no i't a prison rapist, but I was definitely a prisoner. And you know what? Oh, the prison said yes in this one.

I was a prisoner, and the bits that we shot in the jail, there's this one thing you'll notice. If you watch any films made in Melbourne, if there's any time where they're in jail, it's always exactly the same spot. We shot all the jail stuff for Squeezy in exactly the same spot where we shot all the jail stuff for The Hard Word. It's like this one little triangular courtyard and this one strip of cells that remain from

Pentridge. Wow. So every film crew that ever shoots anything about a jail, it's always there. Right. If you're going to film all that stuff there, you should just see if you can rent a room. Well, I... Just live there. A few years ago...

Or just apartments. Yeah. A few years ago, I was a good nominee for getting one of those apartments. A few years ago I was a good nominee for getting one of those apartments. Someone reminded me the other day of the day that I was sitting at a cafe in St Kilda and someone drove past in a car going, Hey Fleety, you're meant to be on Get This. Do you remember that? And you guys have been on air going, Fleety's meant to be here, he's not here.

A guy drives past me at a cafe, yells out to me, I get up and run up to get this and got on, got on and made it to the end of the show. But just like the way of letting someone know they're meant to be on the show. I do remember you came in one day and said that outside, on your way in, a car had driven past and a bloke at the front of the car had yelled,

You fucking legend! And then a bloke in the front of the car had yelled, You fucking legend! And then a bloke in the back of the car had yelled, You fucking god! It was like the full range of Fleety opinion in one vehicle in less than a second. That's right. Now, because, Fleety, your show is about, I guess it's a recap, it's the update of your legendary show, Ten Years in a Long Sleeve. Sure.

So it's sort of like what's happened to you since then, I guess, isn't it? And it's sort of about all the fact that the first... And a lot of people haven't seen that first show. A lot less people saw it than I thought. Someone's taken it off YouTube now. Yeah, because it was on YouTube for a while. And then I saw on Facebook someone the other day went, hey, does anyone have a copy of it or know where it is? Because it's been taken off YouTube now. Yeah, because it was on YouTube for a while. And then I saw on Facebook someone the other day went, hey, does anyone have a copy of it or know where it is

because it's been taken off YouTube? And then someone went, Nick Mason, tram driver Nick Mason, friend of the show, got on and went, oh, they've got a copy of it on VHS at the La Trobe University Library. How did you find that out? And then he's linked to the library website where it's like the catalogue page of it. Do you think La Trobe Uni got it taken down off YouTube to drive a bit of traffic back to the library at La Trobe Uni?

I reckon they might have gotten it off cash converters. It was Fleety's one copy of the performance that he had. Now, I just wonder maybe, because you were on Get This quite a lot with Tony. I wonder if Tony, maybe he's got some stories that he could add to your show from the last ten years. Because you have quite a lot of weird stories, I guess, that you've forgotten by now. Because there's a lot of stuff that I'll say to you, why don't you do this bit? And you're like, oh, I'm not sure that's my bit. I'm like, it is.

It's on your DVD. The bit where someone yells out, Greg Fleet, you cunt. Oh, I don't know if that's me. A lot of this show is about the rod I made for my own back by doing that first show and claiming that I didn't take drugs anymore because it's basically about the shame and the guilt and just the implosion of friendships and all that kind of stuff that carried on from there

and the natural hilarity that ensues from depression and shame and guilt. But, yeah, it's kind of about that. And also there are lots of other stories that happened since then of hilarious junkie japes. What am I? Junkie japes. You so should have called it that. Junkie japes.

I think Tony might have come up with that term years ago. We wanted to do a segment on Get This called Funky Junkies, partly to use that music, partly because working in St Kilda, you would just see so much funny behaviour. And we couldn't work out whether it was cruel or offensive, but you're going, how can you not, you know, do a segment when you have just seen two blokes plan and execute the theft of a

pile of impresses out the front of the cafe you know it's the best thing is plan and watch them nut out the whole thing and scope out the area and swoop in and i mean that's and we had a lot of discussions about whether that was offensive and i I think, didn't we ask someone on air whether that was, we had maybe John Cooper Clark on the show. We were asking him whether funky junkies would be an offensive idea. I remember a friend of ours, Andrew Gooden, said that he was on a tram once and he heard these junkies, they were on their way to somewhere really far away to do some robbery.

They were getting a tram to Moonee Ponds to do a robbery because they couldn't drive, they didn't have a car or something. They're going, right, when we get there, we'll do this and that, and talking about what they're going to do with this robbery. And one guy said, I'll put one of them things on me head. And the other guy goes, what, like a stocking? And he goes, nah, you fuckwit, a baklava. He's going to tie this pastry to his head

and honey dripping down into his eyes. What is it about, it's that voice. We don't have it in New Zealand. It's their voice that goes like this. That's probably because you don't have a hell of a lot of heroin in New Zealand. Right. Oh, right. It is, it's a real, I don't know.

It affects some people's voice differently, but it does tend to make people get a bit like that and also not only talk like that but say stupid things. I was in a bank in St Kilda recently and a bloke came in and went up to the security guard and just went, who can I see here about getting an $80 advance on my doll? And what I love is the security guard obviously had a problem with someone behind the counter

and just went, that woman over there. Just go and see that woman. She'll sort you out. Go and see 80-Buck Steve. One of my first experiences with you, Fleety, was I did a gig with you once. And the great man, Greg Fleet, it's great to do a gig with you. I'm like, you know, a little bit in awe and whatever. Don't say I'm going to do something embarrassing.

No, well, of course I'm going to say that. But we had a great gig. And then after it, you said, hey, if you want to come to my workshop tomorrow, I've got this workshop. I'm like, oh, awesome. And you said, oh, it's this much. And I'm like, oh, look, I can't. I don't have much money on me at the moment. You're like, that's cool.

You know what? You did a good set tonight. Why don't you come for nothing? and i'm like oh look i can't i don't have much money on me at the moment you're like that's cool you know what you can you know you did a good set tonight why don't you come for nothing and i'm like oh sweet so we came to the the workshop and we got sort of halfway through the next day and then i think you left or something and someone someone went oh well you definitely left i think for a couple of hours and then then someone started going oh you know it's great that this only cost you know say two say $200. And then someone else went, he charged me $50. And then everyone in the whole party went, oh, he charged me $80. I was like $15. And then it just become this mutinous workshop.

And then one of my friends went, oh, I'm going to sort this out because I paid $200. I paid the most out of everyone here right at the end of the workshop. And he was like, I know Fleety's my hero, but I'm going to sort this out because I paid $200. I paid the most out of everyone here right at the end of the workshop. And he was like, I know Fleety's my hero, but I'm going to go and confront him about it. And then he walked out the door and he came back 10 minutes later and I said, how did you go? And he goes, I ended up lending him another $100.

Oh, man, I used to be good. See, this is because there was actually in Adelaide, talking about Adelaide, there was meant to be, and it didn't end up happening, but there was meant to be a roast of Greg Fleety that was going to happen in Adelaide, talking about Adelaide, there was meant to be, and it didn't end up happening, but there was meant to be a roast of Greg Fleet. Yeah. That was going to happen in Adelaide that sounded... I actively tried to not do that.

Oh, right. Who was I going to get to play Greg Fleet then? Well, it was a good idea. I think you had to have a comedy roast, a regular comedy roast. But I actually, the more I thought about it and the more I watched them, the more I went, it's not really a very Australian thing, I don't think. And I also thought with me, certainly for the first one, it was a bit weird because all people would talk about is heroin and money.

And, you know, after three or four people doing that, it'd be a bit, oh, yeah, whatever. You'd want to be on first, for sure. Yeah. Well, they did do a roast once, didn't they? They did a roast for Molly Meldrum Which was like Oh it was terrible Yeah it was awful

You know why Because all the people They got on it They didn't know him A lot of them never met him Yeah And then like There was that poor woman

Who was a kind of She's an actress And she was like Madeline West Yeah She got crucified For saying things about him You know

And she was just trying to do What you're meant to do Yeah But the other thing That they did And this is what, I don't know how Molly put up with this or why he probably encouraged it, but it was just a whole lot of poof jokes.

Yes. You know, like, the fact that he sort of had that career for just being basically, you know, abused by homophobes for, you know, but I guess he encouraged it. But it was a, that was very weird, that whole thing. It was basically saying, like, how funny and wrong is it for men to have sex? The answer is fairly.

Speaking of Molly, quickly, this is a thing. A friend of mine who, you know, goes out a lot, parties a lot, does a lot of gear and stuff like that, he lost all the numbers in his phone. And then one of his good mates sent him a message saying, hey, what are you doing tonight? And he had to write back and go, hey, I'm sorry, I don't know who this is.

You know, I've lost all my numbers. And so my mate goes, oh, fucking here we go. This is like, you know, maybe about a year and a half ago. Writes back and goes, oh, I'm Alex. You know, I met you at DT's with Molly that night and, you know, we were partying and I know it was you that fucking pushed him off that ladder in his house and put him in hospital. I'm coming for you, man, and I'm going to tell the cops.

And this is a testament to how much of a loose guy my mate is. There was a part of him that kind of... I think it was. Yeah, it was like just having to call people up and go, hey, the night that that happened to Molly, did we do anything? Did we go to the movie? Can happened to Molly, did we do anything? Did we go to the movie? Can you remember?

Did you see me anywhere? I remember pushing someone off a ladder. Was it someone famous? What a testament to how, you know, off your guts you're getting that that's – That's awesome. That can be said to you and you buy it. Craig, I was doing research on you today, and that means pretty much just going to IMDb, as usual, which I've got, you know, we've got IMDb himself right here, Tony Martin.

I should have just waited for this. Somebody set up an IMDb page for Die on Your Feet, and it's all ready to go. Well, it wasn't me. It's got everything set up, like the ratings thing, all that, and it says 2013 to, you know, nothing. And it's all ready for someone to watch it and review it, but it hasn't been seen yet. Oh, great. Sorry.

I didn't know you were... Did you play two different people? Because you're well known for killing Daphne on Neighbours. Did you play two different people? Yeah, before that, when it was still on Channel 7, that's how long ago, I played an unemployed electrician who'd run away from home and stolen my own baby,

like, from my wife. I'd stolen the baby and run off. Damn, I thought it was like you went back and played someone else after you'd killed Daphne and everyone just went, oh, that's cool. You know, he's got a different name now. That's fine. He's reformed.

I wanted to come back and just, whenever they wanted someone to be killed, like in all soapies, just be that guy just travelling around Australia. The Grim Reaper of Ramsey Street. Yeah, any time you need someone killed or delivered, Greg Fleets your man. And there's a photo of you on the internet

after you've killed Daphne and you're in court. Oh, it's a horrible... And you're wearing a fake plaster cast to get sympathy from the jury. And a neck brace. And I will say this willingly, my acting as Delivery Man 2 is passable. My acting in Under delivery man 2 was passable am i acting in in uh in like

underbelly is fine my acting in neighbors is some of the worst acting anyone's it's so bad and i mean it's actually worse than just the bad scripts and everything it's actually the work of a deluded man it was it was so bad but what have you Have you... You've been doing some directing and stuff, haven't you? Yeah, well, yes. What on? On a show called Upper Middle Bogan. Oh, right. From Wayne Hope and Robin Putley, yeah.

Is it fun? It is fun. We had to direct Robin Nevin in her first TV series in 32 years. So there was a little bit of pressure. But she was in the film I did a few years ago. That's pretty awesome. Yeah. I've just directed a pilot, someone's pilot, you know the film I did a few years ago. That's pretty awesome. I've just directed a

pilot, someone's pilot, and I'd never directed TV before. And obviously the way I do it is get a really good technical person. So you're sort of

just working with the actors. But you directed your film, didn't you? Yeah, and I did librarians. You directed your

film. No, that was someone else. It was a work experience on the day. I meant as opposed to just writing it.

No, but I'd done librarians for Wayne and Robin, directed episodes of that, and that's quite sort of classically shot and tracking shots and matching reverses. And then this show we just did, Upper Middle Bogan, it's kind of shot like if you had the sound down, you would think you were watching a documentary. So it was like learning a completely new language because you know that

thing of crossing the line you know the eye lines yeah we cross the line almost every shot so if we didn't cross the line it was almost like we'd we'd fucked up so so crossing the i don't i have never got my head around crossing the line we could talk about this later maybe it's a visual like a line of it's like where if people are having a conversation there's like a natural way that it's meant to look. An invisible line between them, and then the camera should always be on one side. Because if they're both, yeah, if it's a conversation,

it's cutting and they're both like facing the same way. It just looks ridiculous. The weird thing about that is the only time you can do it and get away with it is in a car. You know when people are in a car, it flips from one side to the other. So when you say, so the camera has to be on, I get that when you say, the camera has to be on, I get that, invisible line, the camera has to be on one side.

There, there, there, there. Now if we go there, suddenly it's like the room has... But documentaries do that all the time, don't worry about that. And it's like our eye has got used to line crosses, because I see it in things like 30 Rock will cross the line constantly and it doesn't... It's like

the way we've got used to shaky cameras I saw, I was watching a documentary about Spinal Tap and they said that when they had the test screenings of it, all the cards said, why is the camera so shaky? People weren't used to it on a documentary. Remember when

Woody Allen's Husbands and Wives do you remember that? People would say, people lurched out of the cinema vomiting because the camera was so shaky. Just getting back to you playing multiple roles on Neighbours, Fleety, because I grew up watching Blue Heelers, and I used to love that, where Blue Heelers was on the air for so long.

And we've talked about this on the show before, that actors would come back ten years later playing a different role. I'd like to see a show do that, but just in one season. So it's like there's a guy who's one role in the first episode and then six episodes later, different character. They did it in Deadwood. Deadwood had a guy playing two characters. It was actually separated by a season, but he did play two.

He played two reasonably major, sort of important roles. But speaking of Blue Heelers, oh, yeah, Fleety, undercover cop. Did you do the double? No. Undercover cop in Blue Heelers? I was actually like a cop that busts other cops. The one for comedy was always Stingers. That was the one.

And I met, I worked with a guy who was a producer on Stingers, and I said, what was it about, like, Series 4? All of a sudden, Dave O'Neill was a producer on stingers i said what was it about like series four all of a sudden dave o'neill was a drug dealer and bob franklin was a shonky nightclub owner and and tim harris was like a pedophile i was i was matt cordomain was a psychopath i did it too i was a murderous sort of you know dude yeah and he said that it was because they had been through showcast like twice and every single actor in aust in Australia had played a bad guy twice. Just from A to Z.

So then they just got the comedy festival program. Yes. And every time, if you tuned into the last five minutes of Stingers, it would always be Dave O'Neill or someone falling off a high tower and being skewered on a pipe. What was you? You were a two-time villain? No, only one in Stingers.

But I didn't mind it so much. But I had a weird name. What was it? Oh, no, it doesn't matter. I had some name like Jim Finkelson. I'll tell you exactly who it is. I will tell you right now. Here we go.

Stingers. Stingers? Stingers? Oh, here's a handy bit of information on IMDb about you. Alternative name, Gregory Fleet. Oh, here's a handy bit of information on IMDb about you. Alternative name, Gregory Fleet. Oh, alternative. Have you been tempted to use... Because I noticed Bob Franklin was in that How's That?

with Kerry Packer, and he's now Robert Franklin. He's gone over. When he does serious stuff, it's Robert. Instingers, you are Max Manton. Max Manton, yeah, that's right, because I've been Jim Finn in another show. But the one that I never got to be on, that friends of mine were on, was...

What was the one... You were Jim Finn in Matthew and Son, just to let you know. What's the one where people got their gear off and everything? Chance? Man, oh, man. In Chances, there was a point where, if you watch that, it sort of goes along like a normal, sort of slightly racy soap opera. But at some point, they realised...

It turns into H.R. Buffett stuff. But the writers, they got told, at a certain point, they got told that it wasn't going to go beyond a certain point in the future, but they still had something like four or five months of writing to go. So they just went, right, vampires, aliens, and it just changes. It's actually really good. Towards the end, it gets really good because they suddenly didn't care. Wasn't there Mark Neill, the vampire?

He was a vampire, yeah, and he was like this vampire with all these women, like a sort of harem. But it just became hilarious. There was a Nazi who'd come back from the past. They just went... Laura Palmer turned up, I think, at one stage. But I met a guy who was writing for it and he said they were literally almost daring each other

going, okay, a guy who can turn into a wolf. Alright? I'll see you, I'll see that and I'll raise you a guy who can turn into a poker chip. What's that American series? You'll know this, Tony. I think it went for like two seasons. It was like a drama or a soap opera.

And the last episode, the finale of it, it turned out the whole show had been the dream of like a 12-year-old autistic boy. It was like, it's like famous for just being the ultimate like shit end to a series. And then there's all this kind of, there's all this talk about it where it's like because of the things

that they reference in that show, you could sort of say that almost every other TV series on is also the dream of this 12-year-old autistic boy because like they'll mention The Simpsons and it's like, well, he's dreamt that up. Chicago something, I think it's... Herman's Head, I think that was it. Anyway, that's fascinating to me that that, like, similar to that,

that that almost seems like a dare, like that that got up. That's like when you do short stories in primary school. Yeah, everyone just dies. At the end it's like, then the world blows up, or then it was a dream. Yeah. Going off on that. It was a series of Dallas that was a dream. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, a whole series, yeah. It was all Bobby wakes up in the shower. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Now, Tony, I want to get onto this. Now, this is something you shied away from last time we talked to you about IMDb because this is the thing. I grew up loving the late show.

That was like such a formative thing on me and the best show I'd ever seen at that stage. But the thing that intrigues me more is you working for IMDb. Well, but I think it's been slightly blown out. Oh, really? Mainly New Zealand. Oh, really? What happened was When I think I might have

Did I tell this story On a podcast You may have I'm sorry If this is a repeat We'll just say that This episode was a dream Yeah

If I'm saying This is a scene Turn on the shower But no I When I first got the internet In about 96 There was this thing Called the IMDB

And I went Oh great I'll look up because i'm from new zealand i'll look up some new zealand movies smash palace smash palace talent on the floor there's so many just said in sharing sheds there was uh only two new zealand films in the imdb it was like the piano and heavenly creatures yeah so i decided just for my own amusement to get every single New Zealand movie ever made into the IMDb and it was only like 500 films but it took me

three and a half years of working Sunday after it was like five hours every Sunday afternoon I found it really relaxing because it was when I was doing Martin Malloy and it was incredibly intense work That's so Tony Martin I find this work a really great break from my work. But it was like, you know what it is?

I worked out, because people are fascinated by this, I worked out what it is. It's because it's facts and facts are either right or wrong. It's like when you work in, quote unquote, the arts, you can do the best thing you've ever done and someone will go, that's shit house. And they're entitled to it. But it's like the difference between English and maths at school anyone can get you can get a hundred percent in maths no one

can get a hundred percent in english yeah so i just like i found it relaxing to just work with facts well i called it my gardening yes i did it for three and a half years and i fought and i was literally had people in new zealand taping movies off midnight Dawn TV, posting them over to me on VHSs, and I would transcribe all the credits. It just went on for that long. And then at the end of the three and a half years, it was like, now what? And so I think I then went,

okay, what about obscure Australian comedy shows? So I was getting things like Brass Monkeys and After the Beep and Howard the Mild Colonial Boy shows that nobody remembers. I remember Brass Monkeys, not those ones. What was the one? I played a role in it. Maybe I was a...

Down your feet. That's very obscure. It was about a petrol station. It was like with... Gilbo was in it. Oh, Bingle. Bingle? Yeah, I was in that.

Yeah, I might have... Did I get Bingle's in there? I don't know, but I got a lot of Australian comedy shows in. But now people think that I do everything. Well, because we've had talk on the show. I think Sam Payne was telling us he was at a cafe having lunch with someone. And you walked past and went, oh, what are you doing? He goes, oh, I'm just working on this thing.

And then he got home and it was like on IMDb already. Very strange coincidence. Because Sam is like, Sam's a bit embarrassed about the idea that he's an actor. So I decided to just beat him, Sam. I got as many of his acting credits into the IMDb. Ah, great. He's done some gigs recently. We've done gigs with him in the last few weeks.

Yeah, he's doing very good. I just assume you must be still working on it because your IMDb pages are so finely manicured. Except the irony is I don't have to do it because the late show fans are so nerdish. Oh, they're doing it. I actually do very little on my own page. Because you've got the flaming thongs of voiceover in 2014.

I haven't even done that yet. Oh, really? I haven't even been contracted. No, no, that's an animated show I'm doing with Mark Mitchell and a few other people for the people who did Dogstar. Oh, yeah, yeah. So that's like... Are you writing it?

No, I'm just doing... I just love to be... My ambition is always to be doing cartoon voices. That's great. So I'm doing that. But what, the one thing people always comment on about the Late Show that's so detailed on there is it says all the sketches that we directed. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the way that came about is because a guy called me up from Adelaide who was writing some long article about us for a student magazine, wanted to know what we had directed.

And it's always been a bone of contention because we used to direct our own sketches but we were never allowed to be credited so there's this guy called Joe Murray who would direct the live nights on the late show and he sadly gets credit for Shit Scared and the

Warren Perso film because none of us are credited as directors and yet we do I think of the, we worked out of the five and a quarter hours that's on the DVD of The Late Show, we directed two hours of it ourselves. Right. So we were quite keen to set the record straight about that. But, I mean, yeah.

Well, it makes sense, I guess, because the one thing that I wondered, if you were really doing this for yourself, then why have you insisted on crediting yourself for the episode of 20 to 1 in the adults only 20 to 1? Oh, my God. Saucy songs. Oh, my God.

I haven't done that. No, I've had nothing to do with that. No way. Oh, really? I didn't even know I was in the saucy songs episode. See, I like the idea that if you did your own IMDB, you would have a real, like something you've done like that where you're a little bit ashamed of it

and there would be this real internal struggle where it's like, I want my IMDb page to be perfect but I also don't want people to know that I've done this. Like just you having a real moment. Well, I think I've put in a couple of things. I think my credit is man in bad suit. If you could just hold your phone right into the microphone, that'd be great. I did submit that.

But you can always tell... What I love on IMDb is you can tell people that have written their own bio. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to suggest that Lockie Hume has written his own bio, but you might want to go to his page and have a read of that. Right. Mine's written by someone who listens to this show who's referred to me as a running joke that I insist that I'm a man and not a lady

based on my girlish voice, which has stayed there for nearly two years now, unchecked. Really? Yeah. What I love about that is that the night we were here and I was doing stand-up, the night I did stand-up when Sarah Silverman was on, and I went, oh, what should I end with? And you yelled out. No, Carl yelled that out.

Oh, was it? Yeah. Oh, that's the weird thing. Oh, with? And you yelled out. No, Carl yelled that out, yeah. Oh, was it? Yeah. Oh, that's the weird thing. Oh, no, because you yelled out the ending. Yeah. Someone actually said to me that I didn't know very well, who wasn't from comedy, said, oh, that's right. And that girl yelled out, do you want to change the ending?

So it's now physical as well as verbal. It was very dark. Can we just go back to saucy songs? Yes, yes. I have not done that 20 to 1 is unbelievable Because if you look at All the things on that page Pretty much everything on there is me

Doing a favour for friends of mine Like the chaser that they asked me to go on Talking about Generation Sean's a friend of mine Panel they were friends of mine The shambles. 20 to 1. I went on there to get, it was what I had to do to get Burt Newton

to co-host Get This. So in return, they go, look, will you just come and sit in a chair for an hour, just say a few lines about things, and I go, well, what are the topics going to be? So they send you 20 different episodes, right? Hang on, Fleety's making a call. And I've just put Fleety's mic down.

Fleety's turning his... Sorry, I'm turning it off. Fleety trying to be quiet whilst pressing the microphone against the phone. That could be a bonus track. So you go, so you work out a few jokes. You go to 21. I sat there for an hour and 50 minutes, right?

And for an hour, I did all the jokes I thought of. And then they go, hey, we'll just get you to say things off the top of your head about every other episode that we're planning to do. And if you've got a few bawdy limericks as well for maybe a certain episode we've got coming up. But as a result, I did that in 2006. Last year, they were still getting new episodes of 20 to 1 out of my footage.

So someone would go, oh, we saw you on 20 to 1 last night, and then it's in the IMDb. I was in Saucy Songs. And then somebody would go, what the, how did they, I didn't say anything about Saucy Songs. And you were wearing a hyper-coloured T-shirt as well.

Also, I noticed your mouth looked very much like Captain Toad Wash as well. Hey, Fleety, feel free to talk into the mic when there's something that you want to say on the podcast. It's almost like the phone you've been answering. It works in the same way. Sorry, I got excited. So I went, how are they still getting new footage out of that one session? So someone sent me an episode that I was in,

and I fast-forwarded it through, and I'm going, I didn't say anything about this. And it was one appearance, and all it was was me going, oh, that is ridiculous. And it was like, it wasn't saucy songs. That was a top ten, number one hit wonder. 20 to 1, ridiculous thing. I worked at Channel 7 for a little bit on a show that they were doing

that was going to be like their version of 20 to 1 that got axed before it began. Oh, Mickey Hamilton did this. They told me they made it. They completely shot it. Right, because I was writing the scripts. With Sonia Kruger and Andrew O'Keefe? I believe that was it, yes. But it was just a – With Sonia Kruger and Andrew O'Keefe? I believe that was it, yes.

But it was sort of – it was going to be like a late at night thing. I think it was like the difference was like guys talking about why something's great and then girls talking. And so the writing was, you know, a bit easy. Like 21 Weeks Battle of the Six. It pretty much was. But it was like you had to write about, you know, they just – Is it the sound of cornflakes?

No, I got these scripts that were just very, like, very kind of straight and they just wanted me to, you know, make it a bit funny or jazz it up a little bit. So I would, like, work on these things and then I would send them off and then I'd get these things back that were like, no, we just need you to make it, like, a little bit more sexier. I'm like... A bit more saucier?

It's about South Park. Like, how am I meant to make this cartoon show about eight-year-old kids sexier in the scripting? It's very weird. Every time I hear that I've been in yet another episode of 21, I go, and then I remember how great it was to get Bert Newton to come on our show. And we got him to do a thing where our idea was that Bert's voice could sell anything. So we just got the most appalling products and got Bert to, I think the Gruen transfer may have turned that into a segment. But it was Bert going, it was him saying things like, the team at Al-Qaeda are looking for new recruits.

And he just made, they all sounded great. The best thing is getting famous people on this show and then getting them to do even famouser voices. We had Sean McAuliffe do, we had Sean McAuliffe do, it was Milo Kerrigan versus doing Con the Fruiterer. Yeah, it was an amazing moment in life and in human history. I can't do Christopher Walken's voice, but I met a guy who had a really small role in a film

with Christopher Walken, which, I mean, is any actor's dream. His name's Woody Allen, but that's cool. Keep going. He's sitting in the make-up chair next to Christopher Walken getting his make-up done, and he's really nervous about meeting him. All Christopher Walken said was, Christopher Walken turned around and went,

I'd like to be a cat. You know? You'd walk around, you'd have a tail, you would scratch things. Like, I would love to be a cat. That's all he said. His whole meeting with Christopher Walken. Hey, let's talk about this quickly.

Now, you're Carl Chandler, you're doing quite an interesting gig tomorrow which we'll get to in a minute. This happened to me on the way back from Adelaide. I was flying home from Adelaide with my girlfriend. She came over for the last weekend of the Fringe Festival and she doesn't fly like a super amount, so we're

sitting there, just after we're taking off, or we're about to take off, there's this sound from underneath the plane, like a kind of sound. And she's, you know, if you don't fly much, like anything like that. Yeah, she was sort of like, this guy next to us goes, don't worry about that. That's nothing.

You know what that'll be? That'll be a dog in the cargo hold that's just barking a lot. And I was like, I really don't think that's a dog in the cargo hold. And he goes, yeah, mate, because they put the dogs under the plane. And then also because, you know, a dog in the cargo hold and he goes yeah mate because they put the dogs under the plane and then also because you know he's in a cargo hold so of course he's going to be barking a lot and I'm like man if you could hear dogs in the cargo hold when you're on a plane

every flight non-stop would just be constant barking and it was like and the sound's like going and I'm looking at him and he goes, yeah, classic dog. And I'm like... Classic dog doing micro surgery. Was Doctor Who on the flight?

Was that canine? Yeah. But anyway, that was to lead into this gig that you've got on tomorrow. Yeah, I've got a gig tomorrow where I'm doing stand-up comedy on a plane going from Brisbane to Melbourne. So I've no idea what to expect. This isn't booked in. You've just got to go to Brisbane tonight for business

and you're going to trial your festival show. Festival's on Thursday. This isn't officially sanctioned. Just going to get some new gear out, you know. No, I don't know what the set-up is. I don't know whether people know what they're in store for. You'd hope so. Because that was my question.

Is this a specially organised thing or is this just people who happen to be on that flight? Are you coming on after the safety demonstration? Well, hopefully. I don't want to go on before that. Have you been told you can't do material about plane crashes and stuff like that? I haven't been told anything, but I'm assuming

that's probably a no. I'm assuming. I don't know, but I haven't been told anything yet. So, yeah, that's the... I'm sure you have. I'm sure you've gotten emails and you just, in classic you style, haven't read them. Yeah, probably.

And there's three of you doing it. It's you, Tommy Little and Peter Hellyer doing it. So you'd really hope they've told people because if they haven't, imagine someone's right in front of you just going, oh, I hate comedy or something like that. I just want to read. I've got business. I've got to read. I've got business. I've got to read this before I get to Melbourne.

Or it's one of those things where you go to these Outback gigs or stuff in suburban gigs and whatever where you walk into places and people don't understand comedy. They haven't set up the spotlight properly or whatever. They've just put me up the back of the plane so all the chairs are facing the other way. If everyone could take out their hand mirrors. face the other way. If everyone could take out their hand mirrors. Will everyone have to watch the comedy or will it be that people can buzz for you

and you'll come up and just do five? Or it should be like a gong show style thing where people push the buzzer. That means they want you off. And if like 10 people buzz you on the plane, you've got to finish. But that's going to be a bad gig because everyone's got in-flight entertainment

in front of them. It's so easy to go, no, he hasn't said anything funny for five seconds. Oh, I'm going to see this episode of Remington Steel. Send Hilly Hellier down. Imagine looking at your little screen and going, going, Louis C.K. or that guy over there. Louis C.K. or that guy over there.

And the winner is Louis C.K. Because the thing of having comedy sort of sprung on you. In Adelaide, I was doing a late show gig. They run a late night gig at the Rhino Room and, you know, a slew of acts from across the festival. And one night I went on at about 1.30 in the morning straight after one of the guys from Puppetry of the Penis doing Puppetry of the Penis. On his own? On his own, yeah. Which was an insane thing to watch because that show, they play like huge, huge theatres.

Yeah. People, you know, book for their hen's night or whatever. It's like a big thing. It was weird to watch it happen in a half-empty pub to a group of people who didn't know that that was coming up. It would be weirder, him doing it on a plane. Sweaty close-up. Yeah, and it was funny because to start with, he sort who didn't know that that was coming up. It would be weirder, him doing it on a plane. Sweaty close-up. Yeah, and it was funny because to start with,

he sort of didn't get much. Like, it didn't go that well to start with because people are just there watching comedy and then all of a sudden a guy just has his dick out, whipping it into shapes and people are going, I've just figured it out. On the plane tomorrow, it's going to be Pete Hellyer in first class.

I'm going to be entertaining coach. You're in the toilet when people go to be Pete Hellyer in first class. I'm going to be entertaining coach. You're in the toilet when people go in. Pete Hellyer in first class, Tommy Little in business, and you up the back near the Dunnings. Or with the dogs in the canthouse. You know the thing how cats don't go, what's with that? There's your opener.

Well, guys, that does bring us to the end of the little dum-dum club for another week. Greg Fleet, Tony Martin, thank you so much for joining us.

It already says that I'm in this on my own TV. What's going on? Greg Fleet, you've got a

show on every night during the Comedy Festival. Die on your feet April the 13th. Saturday April 13th.

Please come to that because the more punters that come, apparently they've started ticketing it too. It's free,

but you've got to get a ticket through the Comedy Festival because there's been a lot of inquiries. But do come. Come to Greg Fleet's Chinese

Democracy. Yeah, exactly. Comedyfestival.com.au for all that information. Tony, have you got stuff

for you? The Flaming Thongs in 2014? Yeah, Thongs is coming up. Upper Middle Bogan is, we've been assured

it will be screened when they run out of QI episodes. Probably never. Yeah, when Fleety's show goes on. I'll be a doubleheader. We've got our own shows that we are in the midst of right now. The Forum, Theatre 7.15 for me, 9.45 for Carl.

We've also got our live Little Dumb Dumb Clubs Monday night in the Town Hall at 7.30. And we've got Sydney coming up as well? Yeah, Sydney's coming up straight after that. Comedyfestival.com.au for all the details or littledumbdumbclub.com. Thanks very much for listening, guys, and we will see you next time.

See you, mates.