The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 138 - Nick Cody's Birthday! Kerryn Cody, Luke McGregor and Xavier Michelides

Episode Date: May 13, 2013

Recorded LIVE in the party room at Church st. McDonalds on May 11, 2013.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, welcome into the little dum-dum club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo, sitting next to me the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day dickheads! We are back to you live from the party room in the Church Street McDonald's, where as far as they're concerned, we are just doing a couple of speeches. It is the Nick Cody's birthday live edition. Please welcome into the little dum-dum club the guest of honour, the birthday boy himself, Nick Cody!

You know what? If we are that close to the Richmond police station, we can get arrested from here, I think. I'll be honest, I hadn't really thought much beyond this moment. And we're only about 50 seconds in, so get ready to pad. This is, man, thanks to everyone that turned up, because this is quite a weird arrangement. You know, it sounded good on paper to come in and take over a McDonald's, This is, man, thanks to everyone that turned up because this is quite a weird arrangement.

We, you know, it sounded good on paper to come in and take over a McDonald's, but in reality it is quite bizarre and we are trying to do this as quick as we can before the staff come back and realise what's going on. Yeah, a security guard just came in, which we thought that was the jig was up, but it just turned out there was a balloon in front of the security camera. So let's describe, for people listening at home, let's describe what's going on. We're not even actually in a party room. We're just in a sectioned off front of the security camera. So let's describe, for people listening at home, let's describe what's going on.

We're not even actually in a party room. We're just in a sectioned-off bit of the restaurant. A family with young children had to get kicked out of here five minutes ago so that we could do this. Half our audience is sort of behind a glass partition. I think those kids got kicked out because of certain laws that Nick Cody has broken over the years. They're exactly 100 metres away at the moment i believe so uh so nick how has the birthday been man this is this is fucking crazy like this does not make sense because when did when did the

idea of it come up uh about 365 days ago when when your mum started emailing me. She does that. Maja is here. The Maja. Well, the story of me, to be honest, me booking, I booked this room out a couple of weeks ago. It's supposed to be like a kids' party room and I rang and they said, oh, how many kids are coming? And I went, oh, there's a few. And then I said, do I have to have any kids come at all? And she goes, no. And I said, no, no's a few. And then I said,

do I have to have any kids come at all? And she goes, no. And I said, no, no kids are coming. But we do actually have, there are kids here, aren't there? Yeah. Friend of the show, Mark Godden. One.

There's one child here. Yeah. And how old? Seven. And is he terrified? He doesn't really know what's going on. Is he a bit too old for this shit?

Is he okay? Are you okay with him hearing salty language and stuff like that? I warned him there was going to be a dick hair. You sound like a great parent. Just so that was picked up here. He's going to go to the next birthday party he attends and just walks in and goes, Hey, fuckheads, what's going on?

These little dickheads. what's going on? Look at all these little dickheads. We're recording equipment. We were talking about this before. It's like, you know, we're all full adults in here, believe it or not. It's sort of like we're all in the movie Big. We're all Tom Hanks. We shouldn't be doing this at all.

This is what would happen if Mark's kid and his friends had credit cards. Yeah. This is how these things happen. Yeah. Yeah, it is a weird moment of like, yeah, this is the sort of stuff that you used to dream of being able to do when you were a little kid. You're like, how good will it be to be an adult? And then you become an adult and you don't do those things. And then here we are rectifying it.

Yeah. Living the dream. Yeah. A quick bit of correspondence from Danny McGinley, friend of the show. He said he did this warm-up on The Voice. He started his first night the other night on The Voice in Sydney. He walked in, the first thing that was said to him by the floor manager is, oh, good to have another dum-dummer here.

Ah. Another? Who was the first? Well, him, the floor manager, Joel Madden. They're big fans, so we're a massive chance of getting Delta on the show any second. Well, I also got correspondence from Danny McGinley today. We did a bit of a call-out to people who couldn't be here. Oh, should we do the telegrams now? Various friends of the show any second. Well, I also got correspondence from Danny McGinley today. We did a bit of a call-out to people who couldn't be here.

Oh, should we do the telegrams now? Various friends of the show. Danny McGinley said to say to you, for Nick's birthday, I'm climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge with Bart Freeband. Very excited to be hanging out with the one from that podcast that is actually funny. Bit of classic Danny McGinley there.

Even when he's wishing you a happy birthday, he's still managing to bring you down, so that's good. So, yeah, we've got a few telegrams from friends of the show that couldn't be with us. From Bart Freebound himself. I've just got that a couple of minutes ago. I'm climbing the bridge today with some fuckhead that does warm-up for the boys.

Even saltier than that. The message is, yeah, cunt, faggot age legs. Get some dicks, that's it. Get some dicks. That's the most sense that Bart Freeband has ever made, I think. There is one from Harley Breen, friend of the show. Dear dickheads,

I hear it's my small babushka doll's birthday, and you're all celebrating the fact that a large, multinational bunch of consumer-driven, fat-craving, golden arch-loving knob jockeys are in on it. Enjoy the day. I hope you all have heart attacks. And Nick, you know how in private I tell you you're amazing and inspiring and that you're one of my faves? I'm not sure how to put this, but happy birthday fuckhead.

Well done on doing whatever... Well done on doing what everyone does Every fucking year Except those girls in Ohio I hear they didn't get to celebrate their birthdays Hey Tim's This is not me So in that way you're unique The end, fuck off

That's the most effort Harley's ever put into anything That's insane We got this one here from a friend of the show Celia Pakola who's in London at the moment. Happy birthday, Nick. You're the best. I hope you get drunk and shit yourself.

Keep me posted. See you, mate. So, that's good. I've done that already. This is a message from a friend of the show, Tommy Little. Hi, Karen.

P.S. P.S. Nick, I hope the rash has cleared up nicely. I've got this one just then from Tiger Airways Australia it's a Mother's Day set oh no hang on

that's not that's just my that's my personal email yeah and oh there's oh a couple more Tom Ballard

friend of the show dear Cody congrats on only dying on stage and not literally and making it to today though a comedian never truly ages

beyond 13 mentally, here you are at 26. Love you. And classic, I think last from the friend of the show, Ronnie Chang, happy birthday, man.

Was that for today or was that just you going through your old messages from a couple of months ago when Ronnie texted you on your birthday? Happy birthday, bro. Man, so many kids touch the playground, bro.

It's so dirty. Bro, so many germs. What are we all sharing this one cake? That's disgusting. I like it how there's signs on the tables in here that just say, reserved for birthday party at 3pm. It's so non-specific like did you

were you too scared to give a name in case this all went pear-shaped yeah yeah i gave this little detail as i could definitely uh there was a message from a listener a friend of the show trent shand uh i liked his message because it says happy birthday cody i'll be seeing you next month first rounds on me which to me that means the second rounds on you so that's just a shout that's not a birthday present yeah yeah should we bring out our first guest for today sure second guest for today yeah yeah this guy he's up the back of the room looking very much unready to take part in this I don't think he's been worded up about what's exactly happening you'll know him

he's been on the show many, many times before. He just won the Best Newcomer Award at the Melbourne International Film Festival. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we did. And only when I got to that bit did he start taking his laptop off his shoulder. Please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Luke McGregor.

Thanks, buddy. I realise now, the longer this goes on, the staff inside are going, those speeches are going forever. I also like that we've... Just give them the thumbs up. For context, we're doing this at three in the afternoon. Like, when everyone turned up and got their food,

the people behind the counter were just going crazy, going, it's normally quiet now. The kitchen can't cope with all this sudden demand. McGregor, thanks very much for coming down to celebrate Nick Cody's birthday. You've bailed on, you were telling me you had plans.

I just came to get maccas and I saw you guys here in Canberra. What were you going to be doing instead of this, you were telling me? There's a human rights expo that's on, so I was going to be doing instead of this, you were telling me? Oh, I'm going to the Human Rights Expo. So I was going to go and... Yeah, the movie thing. Yeah, well, it's when you watch those films and you go,

oh, I'm going to do something and you walk out. You don't do anything personally. It's not going to be a good day. Two peas in a pod, this event and that event. I thought you were going to see the human rights expo and you went, no, just have a 13-year-old cook me lunch. Does Tommy work here now? He's young.

Yeah, get it. Get it, guys. I was on the... I've got the tram here. It gets better. There was a lady and she started to yank me out of the way. You know how you go to turn around

and I was going to go, hey, who do you think you are? As tough as that? We all know how you do that. Take your hands off me, lady. And then I was... Because that was happening and then someone was sort of like kicking me

and I was standing in front of a blind lady trying to get on the train and the thing that was kicking me was her stick. Anyway. Sorry for that. Thank you. She's a big fan of podcasting. Anyway. Sorry for that. She's a big fan of the podcast. McGregor, we're lucky to get you because you just had a great Melbourne Comedy Festival and this could be one of the last times we get to get you on the show

because everyone's going to want a piece of McGregor from now on. Not that they didn't before, but words out. We made you, though, in a way. Yeah, exactly. You wouldn't be sitting in this McDonald's right now. Exactly. If you had called it, bum through the end of the high five, I never would have won.

I quit my job. I quit my job. I've got two weeks left of a day job, and then I'm going to sell the big issue. two weeks left of a day job and then I, then I'm going to sell the big issue. So,

I'm, I'm scared about it but, So you go on full time, you've done it. That deserves a round of applause. Yeah. It's a big moment.

Yes. Just to be clear, this still doesn't pay. No. So, No, if I could grab, if I could grab like five,

I'll fix you. But yeah, so, I'm not used to, I'm a bit scared, but I'll, I've got a lot of Xbox games I can sell, so I'll be okay. I like how there's a family

sitting down to eat their lunch on the window on the other side that McGregor is leaning against. Yes. I wonder what, I wonder what the rest of the people in this restaurant think is going on in here.

I like the way you call this a restaurant. Technically speaking, what would you call it? A food barn. Nutrient hut. Well, now I was going to say dickhead hut. You're talking about the comedy festival, you winning Best Newcomer. Congratulations again. I started getting some pictures, I got a you're talking about the comedy festival you winning best newcomer congratulations again

I started getting some pictures not even emailed to me but posted them on my Facebook fan page and I don't know who this guy is I probably should

because it had his name on it being Facebook but someone who is this guy someone took photos of my flyer

during the festival and then posted them on my wall and I didn't even flyer during the festival and then posted them on my wall, and I didn't even check until after the festival. But what they did was they had my flyer, and there was two different pictures. One of them was of a guy just with a lighter burning it, just burning it. Burning an effigy of me.

If you like that one, the next one was he'd cut out my face and then stuck it on the end of his knob. So the whole picture is my face and then a big pair of balls underneath. That's an actual thing that happened. He's your friend on Facebook. No, no, no. He was on the fan page.

Oh, he's a fan? Yeah. Mark Godden up the back there how's your seven year old going with that story he thinks he's much better what yeah

I won't I won't repeat that for the listeners at home that's so you don't know this is like this is a my birthday slash who not to talk to in the street lesson

for this kid yeah what now I mean we didn't really get you any... Oh, here we go. Sorry, Luke McGregor, everyone. Best newcomer. You were saying on the phone it was $10

and then you didn't include food. Did everyone know that coming in or did everyone get told that as you got in here? Well, the system with this was very loose. People just kind of saw us and then wandered into the room. Like, we weren't taking tickets at the door. No, but we have to pay for the hire of this room. That's where all the money was going towards.

And the cake that's coming out later. Yeah. The ice cream cake that in this room we should all eat it very quickly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we are. This is... Okay, a couple of things about this. This, for one, is maybe the worst designed room I've ever been in.

We're recording this in a fucking greenhouse. It is so hot in here. I think we should tell them, like, you know... It's like a smoking room. If you guys want to attract more podcasts, you're going to have to do something with your kids. But also, this is the thing, like, we're to pay to hire the party room

and there is no party room in here. We're just in a sectioned-off bit of the restaurant. Like, we could have just done this, you you know and not had to charge people yeah um but we're having a great time all right guys did everyone get food has everyone eaten everyone no one feels feels ripped off that they had to spend six dollars on mcdonald's on top of the ticket everyone okay with that yeah you'll get your say. We'll hand this around. Yeah. Has anyone been doing that?

They brought out crayons and colouring papers. Has anyone been getting into the colouring? Tea dogs? Yeah. Oh, wow. There are some amazing ones over there.

Holy Christ. There's some really good ones which says to me that this podcast has been really boring so far. Someone's just drawn us with arrows going through our heads. Rabbit dogs eating us.

Mark, does your kid have a colouring in set? No. Does he want one? Do you want a colouring in, champ? The one six-year-old that's in here that doesn't have a colouring in set. I used to be a nanny. I know how kids work. I know how kids work. I know how kids work. There you go, champ.

Get that in you. So, Nick, Nick Cody, your birthday, like, well, we should do an official count. What is it now? About 350,

345 days to go now until the next one, until the next time we're here. Yeah, until next April 30th. Oh, we're doing this again. Do we get a discount if we book this almost a year in advance?

What happened? So, your birthday, did you get, like, this is our present to you, to be honest. We haven't bought you anything physically. But what did you...

He can't sell it at all, can he? What did you get? Because we're going to introduce your mother very soon, Marja, Miss Karen Cody. Mrs.

Sorry, Mrs. Sorry. For now. McGregor's here. He's got no job. He's got all this time to focus on the older babies. Yeah, best newcomer. What did you get for your birthday, Nick?

What did I get for my birthday? I got to New York with my girlfriend, T-Dog, here in a couple of weeks, and she got me a helicopter flight around New York. Oh, right. I thought you were going to say to America. I was like, I don't think that's going to make it. Yeah. Isn't that what you got me last year was a flight to America?

Yeah, something like that. We do have, sorry, I forgot your first name, but James. James, we've got James who flew here on a helicopter yesterday. Really? Yeah. That's awesome. Everyone just thinks I'm making shit up because there's been no reaction to that. Everybody clapped at the colouring in page.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, just a Navy pilot. Yeah. We're all Navy pilots, aren't we? Where did you park? Yeah. We've got to move it in 20 minutes. Imagine if he looked outside

and saw his Navy helicopter getting towed. I'd love it if there was a Dick Smith store and there's a helipad on top of it because that's just how he gets to work every day. Do you work within a conversation with everyone? Because I would. I'm a helicopter pilot. It turns out to work so well, to be honest.

What if you show up in a helicopter? A bit better. I'll pick you up at 8. If you could stand on your roof, that'd be awesome. Were you flying the helicopter by yourself yesterday? There was other crew in the helicopter. There was other crew in. Oh, because you took a picture.

I'm like, that is a pretty bold move, making a selfie while you're flying a helicopter. So it's been worth it so far, though, yeah? Yeah, great. Yeah, yeah. Can I get a lift home? Because my car's in being serviced. Just, uh, yeah, I'll just climb down the little ladder. You don't have to park or anything. Do you have a little

ladder? I've got a winch wire, so that'll work. What's that? I'm not a pilot. You've got a winch wire? I can winch you down into your house. Oh, really? Like I'm in a harness and then you just lower me down. We should probably repeat what he's saying because at home we're hearing one person go, oh, so you've got one, have you?

Oh, right. Okay, that's great. A little bit of intrigue. People might think we've just gone crazy. We're just making up a helicopter pilot. Yeah. That sounds credible. Shall we talk?

We've got a very special guest as well today. Yeah. We've got the person responsible for Nick Cody being here. She's the creator of the Little Dum Dum Club's Nick Cody. Please welcome into the Little Dum Dum Club, Karen Cody! Yay! I just gave myself a shout. Hello, everyone. Thank you for coming.

Well, this has been taken over very quickly by Karen. Yeah, yeah. What I'm freaked out about is I can see notes. Oh! No, no, no. Just pointers. Little pointers. Karen, Karen, Karen, please.

Microphone. Microphone up, please. Jeez. We didn't pay you for this sort of slipshod job. Now, have you got... What I requested were embarrassing Nick Cody stories. Yeah, I have got a few. They probably start from the time he was three and a half.

Right. And he started crates. He went to crates for one year before he started school. And there was a young lady that used to look after him and her name Cray. She went to Cray for one year before he started school. And there was a young lady that used to look after him and her name was Kim. And each night Kim's boyfriend used to pick her up from work. Oh, had a licence. What a show off.

He had a football and he used to play with Nick and kick it around. But Nick got a crush on Kim. Yes. And so, of course, one night Dad and I went to pick him up and we put him in the car and I said, oh, how was your day at Christ today, Nick? Silence. So I turned around and said, Nick, are you okay?

I'm not Nick. And I said... Good trick. Good trick. Who are you? And he said, I'm Michael. Michael? Boyfriend of Kim.

Oh, really? Just assumed his identity. The talented Mr. Michael. And for the next six weeks, he would not answer unless we called him Michael. Wow, really? Mick Cody. So your plan there was that word will get back from your parents to this girl

and she'll be fooled and suddenly you'll just be her boyfriend. Yeah, that was the game plan. I think it was pretty good for three and a half. I can't fault that. I'm going to take notes. That's how it works. That's how to have sex when you're a three-year-old. But he didn't always like girls because...

Here we go. Good start. Hey, that's fine. Next story. That'll do. That's got Chandler covered for a decade. We can take it from here a lot of people are around the same age so you all remember Thomas the tank engine yes yeah well I used to get new

videos every couple of weeks and my videos what are they sorry Tommy they're things that used to go around and around. Oh, like a laser disc, yeah. And I bought him home a new video one night, and I put it on and played, and he was quite excited sitting there watching, and the first ever female train, Daisy, appeared with her long eyelashes and her big smile, and he screamed and ran away. Oh. And he's like, He's not like Daisy.

I thought you were going to say... I believe the exact... I thought you were going to say only go by the name Thomas from now on so he's in with Daisy. I think the exact quote was... I'm on the fat controller. I think I yelled train vagina yucky

and then ran off. And that started the long history of you never fucking a train. Yeah, so that was quite funny. Just a few other things. As he was growing up, he asked us... Oh, fucking let's get Mike Munro out. Do you want me to tell you a story? No, hey, we're the best.

Let's just put on the, oh, woe is me cut. It's not all about you, mate. But anyway, on with your story about him, though. One more story. Right, all right. We had a member of our family who was a Carmelite nun, Sister Carmel, and she was around at Nick's grandfather's, Nick's grandparents' place one day,

and she was sitting at the table, and Nick was about, I think, five or six, and he spotted her wedding ring, and he asked, he said, oh, what's that? And she said, oh, I'm married, and of course Nick's gone, who are you married that? And she said, oh, I'm married. And of course Nick's gone, who are you married to? And she said, I'm married to God. And Nick said, what does that mean?

And she said, I do God's work. And Nick said, why doesn't he do it himself? Fucking pushing the limits at six, mate. Tearing up the social fabric in the middle of the panel. Look at our Bill Hicks. That's actually still some of your edgier material. But yeah, I used to... And a few other things.

I think he was around 10 or 11. He asked us one year if we could buy him a guitar for Christmas, which we thought was great. You know, have a bit of a different interest rather than just sport and things. But he... And we asked him. We got him a beautiful guitar and, you know,

a little amplifier and everything. He just wanted to pull in the chicks. Oh. Apparently you pull in the chicks. How. Apparently you pull in the chicks. How old was he? 11. Right. 11.

This name changing thing's not doing shit. I've got to get some skills. I haven't had sex with one piece of public transport yet. I thought I was busking just trying to win them over at Flinders Street Station. And just a few other things. One, we have two children, Nick and his sibling. He's got a sister who's a couple of years younger.

You know her name, though, don't you? You seem like you're skirting around the issue. I like to start with it was just introduced as a sibling. Not even a gender. Leah. She couldn't be here today. Leah. Yeah.

Leah. Not even a gender. Right, Leah. She couldn't be here today. Right. Leah. And so we decided, Jeff and I decided when the kids were little that we weren't going to, you know, gender anything or, you know, whatever they wanted to play with, they could play with.

Right. And Nick got right into the Barbie dolls. So we were out one day and he asked if he could get a Barbie doll. So I said, yeah, that's fine. And he then turned around and chose a Ken doll that was dressed in, picture Kylie Minogue's gold shorts. Oh, I'm picturing them. And a gold mesh top.

A gold mesh vest. A gold mesh vest. That doll had its own Mardi Gras float. That's how great that Ken doll was. So he played with that for a couple of years. But then I thought, no, it turned out all right, though, because once he got into the wrestling, and he got his wrestling... I had wrestling dolls.

Yeah, wrestling dolls. I'll beat you to it. He used to actually make Ken fight with Hulk Hogan. Right. Ken always ended up on top. Why was that? I believe the term's pitcher. He was a pitcher.

Yeah, but no, no, no. He turned out all right. He's a good boy. Yeah. I mean, that kind of Ken and Hulk Hogan erotic fan fiction, I would say is kind of the start of the spark of the Nick Cody creativity. That was the start of you wanting to get into the arts

because imagining that scenario and imagining who would be on top. It's like, yeah, come on, Barbie, let's go party. She's my girl brother. You already had your stage name, Michael Cody. Yeah, so just a few little stories. Some little tales. Maja, ladies and gentlemen. Maja.

There was only one more story which I... Oh, so you're busting for another round of applause after this one. No, this is the encore. Yeah, this is it. This will be the last. Nick's father couldn't be with us today because, and even though it's our 34th wedding anniversary tomorrow. Yeah.

Oh. Oh, fucking hell. She knows how to milk it. We're going to be doing a live podcast in honour of that tomorrow at Red Rooster, so get your tickets now. He's not here, right? Don't get no respect. And really get your hands a rest overnight

because I've got an idea there's going to be a lot of applause requested tomorrow. Our 34th wedding anniversary. No, tell him. Fajar is not here today because he's up in Cairns sleeping with his father. He's taken my grandpa on a trip up to Cairns and he's taking my grandpa to a strip club for the first time. Oh, no, no. Yay.

My 18-year-old granddad. So, Karen, is that your dad or...? No. No, it's... Jeff. Yeah, right. So Jeff's taken his own father, his grandfather, up to Cairns.

Yeah, that'd be weird. That's a weird dude that takes his wife's dad to the strip club. You and me, hey, bro? It's fair to say either story is weird. Digress. I digress. Yeah. The funny thing was, people may not know that Nick's grandmother was a Cody before she got married.

Oh, inbreeding exclusive. Yeah. Yeah. They're like fifth cousins, I think. Third cousins. I didn't know, I think. Third cousins. I didn't know it was third. Jesus. I like that it's trying to get out of it.

Only fifth cousins. Which I thought was absolutely hilarious. You know, that they... You were right. I married an inbred guy. Joke's on you, D-Head. I thought that that was actually funny until later on I realised that because... You found out inbreding is illegal.

No, because Geoff's parents were related, that means Geoff was related to his own parents, which I thought was hilarious. And then I realised that our children, Nick and Leah, are actually their own father's cousin. This is the little dum-dum club, not Maury Povich. Jerry, Jerry. And, yeah, so keep it all in family.

And that also means that you and your sister are cousins. Yeah. Yay. Which, according to coding law, means I could fuck her. Yeah. And it looks like she's hearing this for the first time and she looks horrified. Happy birthday to me. I just noticed you only have two teeth and you're holding a banjo.

I think your friend just did the sums and figured out she's probably related to you as well. How's your son going over there mate? A lot of questions for the car home Something for the drive home Sweet plug So they're just a few little stories A few of the notes Nice work

You didn't even tell them the gross thing That you write in my birthday card every year Which was? The stitches What? In my birthday card every year, my mum likes to remind me in writing that it took 100 stitches.

Has everyone finished their fillet of fish yet? No. Well, no, the thing is, as you know, Nick has a big head. Yeah, these do. The hat won't fit him. He actually had to have a hat made when he started secondary school because they didn't have a 40cm hat. Right.

That's how big his head was. I think we can all agree she should have left on the applause. But what I tell all my friends now that are having babies were that if I'd have given birth to Nick, if he'd have been breech, I would have been much better off. Is that fate first? Because his ass was much smaller than his head. I would have been fine.

The head's still going to come out, though, at some stage, doesn't it? But you had no warm-up up is what you're saying. This thing just sort of, you know. Thank you. What a closer. What a closer. Alright,

there is another friend. Charles just wanted in, that's fine. Feet first. There's another friend of the show here who wanted to come on and wish Nick Cody a happy birthday. You know him from Xavier's Corner. Please welcome him to the little dum-dum club, Xavier Michael. Thank you, thank you very much.

This week on Xavier's Corner, I'm going to be doing a nice little birthday message for Cody, which I wrote on the way here. But it's going to need a little music, so I've queued it up. Can you... Oh, yeah, I can hold it. No one here will hear the music, but for the people at home listening to it,

it will make a massive difference. Put the headphones on so it sounds like you can hear the music just in the background, a little bit of me. So the people are paid to be here, you don't get the full experience. It'll be half as funny without the music. Is that the speaker on the bottom? On the bottom. Yeah, okay, cool. Have you started playing it? Start now? Go. Is it going? Can we hear it? Hi everyone, welcome to Xavier's Corner. This week a birthday message for Nick Cody. Nick Cody. Or as his friends call him, Cody.

Or as some friends call him, Nick. Or as other friends call him, Cody. A boy trapped in the body of a man, trapped in the body of another boy, who is also trapped in the body of a man Trapped in the body of another boy Who's also trapped in the body of a man Who lost his keys Who's trapped in the body of a woman Who's trapped in the body of a dog Who in turn isn't trapped in the body of an elderly man

Who's at the bank and doesn't realise it's Sunday And everyone's trying to help him But he's a bit lost Trapped in the body of Nick Cody Xavier, have you forgotten where you are? I really hope the music is helping this, by the way. Yeah, the music really makes it a lot funnier. Just FYI, the music is not coming through at all, but keep going.

Oh, well, fuck. The first time I saw Nick Cody was on stage as he performed one of his comedic routines. I didn't listen to his jokes, but merely observed him physically. I was amazed. He had the stage presence of a pigeon at the train station

with his chest pumped out trying to pick up a female pigeon. And as the other commuters at the platform watched the pigeon, they're inadvertently entertained. Are you just describing things that you saw on the way here? Yes. No, this one I thought up just on my

own imagination. He also has the stage presence of a football player accused of rape who, against his lawyer's wishes, has taken the stand to defend himself and while addressing a jury, has gotten lost in his own bizarre ramblings,

and is simply trying to justify his own existence in the world. Much like you right now. Yeah. Nick Cody, a man in limbo, who has many times stated that he is simply waiting for his green card so he can move to the US and follow the footsteps of his hero and professional

bigot, that, oh fuck it Jim Jefferies that, happy, I hope he achieves his dreams and everything he wants in life, I love him a lot happy birthday to Nick Cody that's the last Xavier's Corner ever. It held mystery and was sort of cool for a while

because no one really saw it. Once I actually put some effort in, it's not good. Hey, Dave, there's like 35 more minutes left on this track. Have you got a couple more verses? I'll just improvise them. Someone give me a scenario. No, fuck that. The last Xavier's Corner

ever should just be you eating a 15 pack of share pack of McNuggets by yourself. I've already done that. Oh, and you didn't record it. What a waste.

Xavier Michaelides everyone. Does that more or less bring us to the end of this little celebration? We've got a little bit left, haven't we? We should point out that this is being recorded. There is one PowerPoint in this whole place.

This whole thing is running off a giant extension cord that is going into the kitchen. They probably had to unplug a deep fryer in order to get us going. And ironically, the content of this is probably just as bad for you as what gets made in that deep fryer. And ironically, the content of this is probably just as bad for you as what gets made in that deep fryer. Nick, did you have anything come out of Comedy Festival this year? Because we've been talking the last couple of weeks

about stupid stuff that's happened. How was your festival? Good times. Yeah? A lot of fun. Yep. Good room, good numbers. Yeah, stop saying good and tell us a story.

Drank a lot. I drank a lot. I woke up one day. So I hurt my rotator cuff about six weeks ago. I wasn't allowed to do any physical exercise for six weeks. And then I woke up one afternoon at about two. Two in the afternoon, I saw that my bike was in the hallway, which means I drunk rode home, which I was very proud of.

But my entire left arm was covered in sticky stuff and I didn't know what it was from until someone sent me a video of me challenging people to a breakdancing contest in the high-five bar. Great stuff. I had a guy come to my show this year from Maribor that I grew up with in high school and I didn't know him that well. And he came to my show just...

And I literally haven't seen him since year 12. He came to my show... If anyone's seen me do stand-up, I do a lot of one-liners, a lot of just abstract, like, you know. Puns? Yeah, no. You know, I have a joke about balloons and then one about ladders and then one about snowmen and whatever.

Yeah, it's very abstract, guys. Midget golf. Yeah. So he came out of the show, and I hadn't seen him since year 12, and he came out and he was like, oh, man, that was really full on. And I'm like, what do you mean? And he goes, it was like you were reading my mind up there.

I did a joke about grasshoppers, and then one about cordial. Like, what were you thinking about? Are they two actual jokes of yours? And do they come in that sequence in your set list? No, no. But I think balloons and ladders are two literal ones that I've had. Yeah. We did have this, another birthday telegram from Dave Anthony

from the show, from the Walk in the Room podcast. Happy birthday, Nick. Try not to jump off a hotel. I think that's topical gear from maybe a year ago now. So that's good. I've got a couple more messages. One from Harley Green's brother, Sinclair.

Oh, yeah. Brother or friend of the show. Hey, Nick Cody, it's your birthday. Go home, you're drunk. That was nicer than his brother's message, so I'll take that. Maybe what I said five minutes ago, how about we wrap this up and you said, no, we've got more. I'm going to tell a story

about me. There's something about the heat of this room that has just ruined showmanship for all of us. Yeah, maybe we should wrap this up. Maybe we should call this a day. I think we're done. I think we've got time for another three rounds of applause

for Karen Cody I think we should do we want to try does someone want to run out and see when do we get the ice cream cake to come in

oh yeah we should the last thing that happens on the show should be the ice cream cake and we'll all sing happy birthday yeah of course

let's just hang out while this happens Sam Gray has gone to check on it for us so guys Ice cream cake, and we'll all sing happy birthday. Yeah, of course. Let's just hang out while this happens. Sam Gray has gone to check on it for us. So, guys, what else is going on? They unclogged the frame. Oh, watch out, there's another Xavier's Corner. Oh, no. Fuck, I wish that room was a round room without any corners, but anyway.

All right, hello, everyone. Welcome to Xavier's Corner, part two. Nick Cody, to me, is like a man trapped in the body of another man. Yeah, all right. I'm trying to help you guys out. It really got bad after you said you were going to stop doing it. Yeah, when that lady before said, do you want me to come in at any point and do games or anything?

And we said, no, we should have fucking gotten her to come and do some games. That would have been great. I wouldn't know what kind of games we would have gotten to play Sam looks like he's getting into just to give you all an update

Sam looks like he's getting into a fight oh he's angry there's a lot of arms being thrown up in the air about whether or not we're getting cake he does look

kind of frustrated but he's also giving the thumbs up there's a lot of mixed messages coming through has this show become someone

describing someone else getting a cake yes there's a man it's on the way from where we're in the building Next message is coming through. Has this show become someone describing someone else getting a cake? Yes. That's what this show is. There's a man. It's on the way. From where? We're in the building.

Okay. Why were you so mad over there? You look like you were remonstrating. No. He was a man trapped in a room as a man asking where the ice cream cake is, which is in another room. Suddenly Saviour's Corner doesn't look so bad anymore, does it? We were like, wow, that was pretty shitty,

but now it's like, oh, it's actually okay. Compared to descriptions of a man trying to get a cake. Compared to Cake Corner. Cake Counter. Cake Corner's never as good. Sam, tell them our one-hour speeches are nearly at an end. We're about halfway through. I think it's that classic thing.

It's half an hour eating McDonald's and now you're just like, fuck, I just want to have a nap. Yeah, I feel very tired. To be fair, I am going to get more McDonald's as soon as we finish this thing. Yeah, let's talk about this quickly. Did anyone have one of the new chicken burgers

that they've got? Oh, fuck, we should close on that. That killed. They don't have any new items. Genuine question, you bastards. Have you guys seen the ads for the chicken burgers that they've got at the moment? The ads on TV where they're like, to test what our new chicken burgers are like,

we got in some chicken experts, but it's just a group of people who all have the last name Chicken. Like, literally, there's a group of strangers standing in a car park going, yeah, it's pretty good. And it all says, like, Bob Chicken. And then it's like, Erin Chicken. Oh, I thought it was pretty good as well. Why are they experts? Hey, don't knock them. I'm going to full-on hit them up

for a sponsorship after this. Yeah. If we take pictures and say that we brought all these customers to your venue, surely we can get some sort of weekly... Guys, you should send us money. We sat in a room and just bagged it out for half an hour. And we want payment. Yeah, I think at the very least we should wangle to get the deposit on the... Or at the very least we should get an on-time cake.

Yeah. I wonder what the latest is. Someone's just cleaning up. That's energy that could be spent on getting us our cake. Yeah. There's a guy looking at us... If you can hear laughter right now, that's actually two kids be spent on getting us our cake. Yeah. There's a guy looking at us. If you can hear laughter right now, that's actually two kids playing in the playground.

That's got nothing to do with this show and anything that's been said. I like that we're hanging out for the cake just so the people at home can hear the cake being delivered. Yeah. I really think you should just bail now. No, it's the cake's going to happen. Have we mic'd up the cake? Have we mic'd up the little lapel mic on one of the

candles. Look, the thing is, we can even pretend it's come. No one's going to see it. I could just go, oh, look, everyone, here's the cake! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! It's the cake!

Happy birthday to you! It's happening! The cake! It's actually the cake! It's happening! The cake! Happy birthday to you! Hip hip! Hooray! Hip hip! Hooray!

Hip hip! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Did you guys get the rights to use that song? We don't even have the rights to play our theme music every week.

The bad news is we've got one 20cm cake to feed 50 people. Man, I will say this. It looks exactly how I remember it from my childhood. I don't think the recipe's changed at all, which is good news. We might have to have some kind of raffle to see who gets it. No, we're getting free. I think we might want to wrap it up, seeing as though we're in the sauna with the frozen ice. Yeah, it's literally

melting in front of our eyes. Before it becomes the birthday thick shake. Well, guys, that is it for the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Nick Goating's birthday. That's for the speeches, guys. That's the end of the speeches. Speeches are done. Speeches are done, everyone. This is the final speech that we're

saying. Good speech, everyone. Thanks for listening to the speech for so long. I did go on there for a while but I think we got,

okay, the coast is clear. The coast is clear. That is a podcast. Guys, that is it for this live little Dumb Dumb Club birthday edition for Nick Cody.

We just got out of there and Mayor McCheese nearly kicked our ass. One more round of applause for Nick. One more round of applause for Nick. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. thank you. thank you. thank you. Thank you