The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 144 - Tim Minchin

Episode Date: June 25, 2013

Tennis Talk, Josh Earl and The Duchov.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mates. It's Dasolo here, just dropping in at the start to let you know I'm doing my show, Pipsqueak in Melbourne, from August 6th till the 11th at the Butterfly Club. It's the show that I did at last year's Comedy Festival. It went really well, so I'm doing it again. I'd love it if you could come down. You can get tickets right now at thebutterflyclub.com. And if you're a friend of the show and you enter dumdum, that's D-U-M-D-U-M, two words. When you check out as a promotional code, you are going to get a sweet discount for being a friend of the show. So come on down. I'd love to see you there. All right, that's enough of that.

On to today's episode with Tim Minchin. Hey, mates. Welcome once again to the Little DUMDUM Club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Thank you very much for joining us. Sitting opposite me, the other half of theumb Club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Thank you very much for joining us. Sitting opposite me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, Dickhead. Now, we've been getting a lot of shit recently for doing too much bullshitting up the top of the show

before we bring in a guest. And if ever we've had a reason to cut straight to the chase and just bring the guest in, I think this is it. This is the location for it. I'm not ready yet, though. You're not ready yet? Oh, okay. Well, Carl's probably had something funny happen to him at Coles,

so we can just do that for half an hour. All right, I'm ready now. From Californication, from Matilda the Musical, from Jesus Christ Superstar, please welcome into the little dum-dum club, Tim Minchin. Yay! This is exciting. This might surprise you, Tim,

but this is the first podcast we've ever done underneath Rob Laver Arena. So this is a big deal for us. I thought Rob Laver would be the arena for your podcast. Yeah, hang on. What about when we did a podcast with Mats Verlander? Where was that? I forget what that was.

I don't even know who that is. It's an 80s tennis star. Yeah, yeah. 80s tennis star. Okay, good, because this is where they play tennis. Tommy's quite young. I get it. Yeah, Tommy.

Yeah, it was a tennis reference, Tommy. Yeah. You need to be. Tommy. Live in the now. Yeah. Or at least lived in the 80s. Anything pre-Leighton, I don't remember. I think you'd struggle with Steffi Graf. Yeah, I do, actually.

Yeah, you're right. There's a part of me that thinks, was she on Home and Away? Yeah. Oh, forget Bjorn Borg. Ivan Lendl. I was a big fan of Ivan. Arthur Ashe. Nah.

Whoa, now you've lost me. Oh, sorry. Yeah. When's he? The 50s? He's good. That's he? The 50s? That's where they play the US Open in New York, Arthur Ashe Stadium. Oh, okay.

For everyone tuning into this show just on the strength of Tim Minchin being on this episode, they've really wasted their bandwidth so far. Welcome to another edition of Tennis Talk with our guest today, Tim Minchin. Hey, thank you so much for joining us. This is a real thrill. yesterday to mention. Hey, thank you so much for joining us. This is a real thrill. We've managed to get you in in between two performances

of Jesus Christ Superstar here at Rod Laver. This came about very late. In the piece you texted me yesterday evening. Yeah, thanks for responding. Well, please. I have to admit, though,

the way that it kind of came together because I didn't have your number and it was very sudden. To be honest, I spent the whole day thinking this is a prank this is someone who knows i don't have their number stitching me up i'm going to get to rod laver and go just here to do a bit of press for jesus christ superstar and they're going to go you what the fuck are you who are you yeah it's actually real yeah i i got um i got emails from two directions and and i'm and they were going and there's always layers upon layers

especially when you're in a show like this there's the PR on the show and then there's my manager and then whatever and I just went I can get Tommy's number I'll just text him and then it will get done if I don't text him because when you say layers upon layers you mean there's press for the show, there's your management

and then there's us getting onto Eddie Perfect and going can you just harass Tim and try and get him to do this and I also asked your sister to do this it was my sister

who tipped me I don't know anything Eddie tells me to do I do everything my sister tells me to do it's good to know that those are the two layers that we just need to go through

to get to someone Eddie Perfect or the guest's sister basically I'm scared of my sisters if you ask my sisters to ask me something I'll just do it oh really yeah man we've got to get to know David the guest's sister. Basically, I'm scared of my sisters. If you ask my sisters to ask me something, I'll just do it. Oh, really?

Man, we've got to get to know David Letterman's sister or something like that. This is how you get the big guns. Rita Letterman, yeah. She's lovely. Yeah, nice one. Lottie. Yeah. And you've just told us that because we're coming,

we're coming to see the show tonight, which is awesome. You've provided tickets. I'm slightly concerned by the fact that this envelope contains the tickets, which has got Tommy Dassault and then Carl Chandler, but the Carl Chandler crossed out. I forgot to tell you, I gave your tickets away to my parents. Yeah, right. And Tim's sister's probably going to take up two seats now and bring a partner.

So, yeah, that's a little bit concerning, but I'm looking forward to it. And we've just found out that a friend of the show, Andrew O'Keefe, is not performing as well, which is a shame. And I read in the paper that it said a neck injury. Yeah, I think he's prolapsed something. Right. I think it's a disc.

It's something nasty, but he's in surgery, or he was last night. And he's such a good man, and he was loving it, because he's obviously done a lot of stuff in his time, but he's not really been on tour. this is like a massive rock tour yeah it's a theater show but it's trucks rolling in and out and building the set and playing these arenas and and i think he was having an absolute ball and we were loving having him and then he did something on stage and he went oh that didn't feel right and then the next night and then he then i think he uh ruptured a disc or something he was in so much pain

and he never moans or anything. He had this big smile on his face. We could tell he was trying not to cry. Yeah. It's such a shame because we've had him on the show before and he was so much fun and when it said in the paper

that he'd had a neck injury, I thought it was probably caused... We dropped him on his head. No, I thought it was caused by the inside of the neck because when we had him on the show, there was a lot of things going down his neck.

I think at that point, he'd come straight from the Logies. I don't think he'd slept. It was more a throat injury. Yeah, yeah. Or a liver injury, to be completely honest. So that's a shame that we don't get to see him. Well, the kid who's understudying him is hilarious and amazing.

So there's a silver lining on the Andrew O'Keefe. Yeah. It would have been great if his understudy had been someone kind of similar to, like if his understudy had been like Larry Emger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like another game show host. Yeah, yeah. That's what it should be.

A few steps down the ladder of game show hosts. Yeah. Who's your understudy? A guy called Lucas. He's one of the English cast. Yep. He's great, he's awesome You'll see him on stage

He's not eyeing you off going You're not having to watch your cup of drink around him I think that's always Because I understudied Judas twice When I was in my early 20s In amateur shows in Perth And I know exactly what it feels like To want to do this role and not get to

But I think Lucas is Both quite like to have a crack and scared out of his brain because it's a pretty monstrous yeah role and these are pretty monstrous rooms and it would be hard to just one day and not only that you've got to hang yourself you've got to climb up into the rig and come out of the sky and that's hang on i'll spoil it spoilers you've got to hang yourself you haven't read your Bible. We'll have to have a reading. Spoiler alert, Judas dies.

Jesus dies. And mankind lives miserably ever after. Might cross my name off that envelope now. Know all the good bits. But yeah, it's technically quite... Vocally very full on and technically quite difficult. So I think he'd almost prefer to not have to do it yeah yeah that's a weird role understudy to do all that work and then hopefully fingers crossed you don't do it yeah well it yeah it depends i mean the other thing is because in

australia uh a certain percentage of the audience uh driven to buy tickets because of my presence in the show yeah and so the pressure on me to not go off is enormous. It would take an injury as big as Andrew's for me to... Me and Carl both have typhoid at the moment. Oh, great. I'm wearing an enclosed room. It's like you're not wearing your voice out in between shows by talking to two dickheads on a podcast. Perfect for me to be talking right now.

I have this weird memory of going to see The Sound of Music when I was a kid. When Lisa McCune was in it. And it got announced at the start of the show that she wasn't going to be doing it. And understudying for her will be whoever the person was. And people booed.

That's a tough cookie. Yeah, before the show. Yeah, yeah. That's a tough act to follow. I don't know if they're even announcing, because it's an arena, it's not so easy to go, ladies and gentlemen, tonight Andrew O'Keefe. It's sort of, it's not so easy to do announcements.

So I think, look, I don't know what you do about that, but the thing is when you buy a ticket to a show, it is, people forget, it's not, they're not robots. Yeah. It's not like, you know, setting your digital box to record a show. Lots of things can happen. Whole tours get cancelled. Yeah.

I mean, I had to, when I got cast in Californication, I had to pull out of a couple of small gigs and people were sometimes really hateful and I sort of felt, well, good. But I've been wanting to be an actor for 20 years and I've got a role in LA and I just have to cancel this gig that's not really even on sale yet. Yeah. There's human factors going on here.

Yeah. It must be very disappointing. You're not going to turn out hanging out with Duchovny. Yeah, exactly. That's what I wanted to ask you about because I'm a fan of that show. Oh, good. What's the Duchov like? He's good, yeah.

Yeah? He's just, you know, like whenever you meet these people, you go, oh, my God, you're the guy from X-Files. Oh, you're totally normal. Yeah, right. It takes that long for you to get over it. It takes 10 seconds. He's really sweet.

He came to opening night of Matilda and brought his daughter, and he's been really good to me. We're not like mates. We went to the gym together a couple of times. It kind of sounds like you, mate. We get along pretty well. He's really nice and he's interested. Does he spot you?

What's that? Does he spot you at the gym? We haven't. No, we've both got our own personal training. It's LA, mate. It's not a skanky gym. Are they your understudies? Yeah, so then you go to the gym together as mates,

but then you're just on separate wings of the gym with your personal trainers. What a great day we had together. Wow, that's amazing. I feel like I'm slightly misrepresenting what it's like to work in LA by saying, we just happened to end up in the same gym. Yeah, oh, okay.

And just sweated together and rubbed it. Man, own it. I would be owning it. What are you doing? I guess you up in the same gym. Yeah. Oh, okay. And just sweated together and rubbed it. Man, own it. I would be owning it. What are you doing? I guess you're on the same show. I'm embarrassed enough that I go to the gym at all, but if anyone saw this season of Californication, they'll know that I was naked most of the time,

so I had a vested interest in doing that. Talk it up. I went to the gym with Gillian Anderson, and I talk about that on this podcast all the time. Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, I snuck into Fernwood with her. I was here one time. That sounds like a good story on the podcast,

but from where I'm sitting, you did not go to the gym. That's clearly a made-up story. I believe that Gillian Anderson bit more than I believe the gym bit. Yeah, I should have said I ate pasta with Gillian Anderson. That would have been a bit more palatable. Now, we would bring this up. We just did a podcast this morning with Josh Earle friend of this show

and friend of you now Josh tells a story about doing a very early gig with you and it was him and you and the bedroom philosopher amongst others and the way Josh tells it is that you after the gig you were saying to him

you guys kind of really think about your appearance and what you wear on stage and stuff like that? And they were like, yeah, yeah, we do. And then he says, the way he tells it, the very next time he saw you, you had the hair strained and the whole look was starting to come together. On the bicep curl machine with the decaf, like straight away, just that little bit of advice.

So what Josh Ell's trying to claim is that he created you. Wow. And you said you liked Josh Earl at the start of this story, so has that changed? I'm trying to remember my memory of that time. You're trying to remember Josh Earl, yeah, it's very easy to forget. But I think I didn't meet Josh until, oh no, I might have, yeah.

Yeah, it could be, I mean, it could have been an inspiration. He's very good looking. He is a good looking man, yeah. There's no doubt when I see good looking people, I get furious. And doubt when I see good looking people I get furious and I guess that might have driven me to try and wear some make-up and do something about it. That's the only reason I was going to the gym with Gillian is to try and get down to Josh Earl.

I slimmed myself down a little bit. Just so you can, what, to get more like Josh Earl so you can inspire a future Tim Minchin. Yeah, yeah. I want to be mentioned in a biography or something. I get people often saying, you know, I i did back when things started going better for me people saying oh you just stole russell brown's look and i have a similar story i tell that's probably uh similarly apocryphal or not i don't remember but that um i did a show in early 2006 in london wearing my full

you know teased hair and makeup and stuff and Russell Brand came to see it. And then I went back to Australia for six months, came back, and he was massively famous and looked like. So I claim Russell Brand's origins. Right. So I think I can give Josh mine. Yeah, it's like a babushka doll of success. Yeah, that's right.

And then there's got to be – I like the idea that it starts... Pardon? It all goes back to Robert Smith or Keith Richards or something. Yeah, I want to know the person below Josh that started Josh. I want to know who's claiming credit for our looks. Let's go and get them because they have really messed things up. Probably Ronald McDonald. Something to do with it.

What about this? Is this true? This is what you told me ages ago. You both did a raw heat together, like back early days. It's embarrassing. It should be. That's where I met Tommy. That's where we met.

Yeah. Tommy was 14. You've rounded the age up a little bit, yeah. I'm 16 now. That was a couple of years ago, yeah. No, you were 16? No, I would have been, yeah, 16 or 17. Yeah.

It was the first or second year that I did Raw, yeah. I thought it was very funny, but I was wrong. It was a weird thing. Sammy J was there and we all got through. Because you were on, but you were doing... I was doing a poem. You were doing a character. You were doing a character that was like a guy who had decided to do stand-up

on the advice of his shrink and was having a mental breakdown on stage. My mother was a fucking bitch, that guy. Yeah, it was really great. And that was what I first did when I started doing comedy, I guess. And then I saw Sammy was doing songs and i'm like yeah i don't know if i want to do this song i mean my songs are that you know my songs are that part of my life and i was already writing playing loads of gigs and stuff but i saw comedy as a separate sort of thing which is sort of stupid now that i look back on it because i i've always written

silly songs i just didn't realize that that was you're allowed to put that in a club. Yeah. I didn't realise you're allowed to call that comedy. I thought it was just sort of musical satire and I thought if I was going to exploit my joy of getting on stage and making an idiot of myself, I should do something a bit more oblique like a poem. And it went fine and I got through to the state final or something

and then got through to the state final or something and then got got uh knocked out by you'd remember who by nelly no uh that's terrible someone doing a sweet joke about the harold holt pool maybe or who was it i don't know i don't know uh oh that's terrible female comic i remember it was great. But it was weird because that poem always got a good response. But I think the reason I got knocked out, I got told by someone who was one of the judges, they said people thought, oh, well, it's a character.

We don't see how he would expand this to an hour. And I went, oh, well, I do i do two act show like i never did five minutes yeah i've been doing two acts i've been doing hour and 40 minute shows since the very first time i ever did a gig yeah so i kind of i think what year was that 2004 2004 yeah four october i did the melbourne fringe and didvel cerebral melodies with umbilical cords at the Kitten Club, which was a two-act cabaret show with that poem in it and stuff, and that was the beginning of the whole thing. So in a way those judges were wrong.

You would have to say that they were perfectly right to wonder, but as it turned out doing obscure poems wasn't the only trick up my sleeve because you've now joined you've now joined the very famous ranks of people who when people now enter raw they get told yeah you know what don't it's you know dave hughes adam hills roe mcmahon as tim minchin all these guys never did they never did well never did the final and it's like it's meant to make you feel better, but all it says to me is you guys should get better judges. Yeah.

Actually, the thing with those competitions is they're an interesting construct because they encourage people to give it a bash and go in, but there is absolutely no way to get it right. Yeah. Nor is there a way to say it was wrong. I mean, even if 90% of people who lose go on to be successful, it doesn't mean the competition's wrong. It just means it's its own thing.

It doesn't exist as a reflection of any ongoing. See, I disagree. I came runner-up to Josh Thomas. Yeah, no, okay. Maybe there is. Yeah, I never made the final. No. So they've got a spot on there.

Yeah, they've nailed it. They've mostly nailed it. They really killed it. I didn't get to the final. Now, one thing a spot on there. Yeah, they've nailed it. They've mostly nailed it. They really killed it. I didn't get to the final. Now, one thing I was looking up about you today, you've been on Conan over in LA a number of times. And growing up, Conan was like my number one. Really?

He was the first guy that I saw on TV that I was like, that's the guy. I was the first guy you saw on TV. No, I mean... As a child, you just switched it on. Yeah. Ta-da, magically, just Conan was there. But, yeah, so, you know, just like that's a very far-fetched dream of mine is to be anywhere near Conan.

But I looked up the episodes that you were on, and you've been on an episode with Ice Cube. Oh. And you've also been on an episode with Flavor Flav. Yeah. I just love that those are the... Yeah, I think I'm the perfect accompaniment to a hip-hop artist. Is that on your rider?

Yeah. Hip-hop artist. I need to be on with someone who looks really different from me. Yeah, those shows, oh, man, they're kind of weird and you don't... What they want is for you to either go on and do your five minutes and my stuff, and Conan's been very supportive of me, but my stuff is not great.

It's not like I go 20 gags in five... I don't do that sort of stuff, and so my songs kind of work, but they're kind of out of context and I don't get to do my lead-in and my drop-out and I don't get to place them in the place I want them to be. And in a two-minute, three-minute spot, it's very hard to... I have to cut my songs.

And then eventually he let me sit on the couch for a minute and they're like, have you got any anecdotes? And I'm like, no, I don't do anecdotes. I've got this one about Josh Earle. Yeah. And so I just am used to getting a chat on and, you know, usually something funny will come up. But it's much more structured than that over there.

They're like, no, what are your six stories and we'll choose four and Conan will ask the questions that will allow you to talk about that. I mean, all those chat shows, they just go, so, how's your day been? Have you seen any ice creams? Yeah, I had this funny experience with an ice cream man where I fell over and got an ice cream up my bum. I remember seeing an episode of Entourage where they do that. They call up Vinnie Chase before he's going to be on Jimmy Kimmel

and they're like, tell us some stories. They're like, oh, that's how it works. I find it almost so noxious that I almost don't want to do the shows, but that would be ridiculous. It just depends. The shows are not fun to go on, and I don't suppose they're always hilarious fun for conan he's an incredibly funny and hard-working man but they are they all the joy of comedy is taken out uh and replaced with um structure you know because i want to get the best material. It's basically just a big set up for people to do a few minutes of shtick.

Yeah. And I just don't do that very well. Yeah. It's not my thing. Yeah. So you go, obviously my agents and managers over there are working very hard to get me on these shows and then someone on the show rings up and goes,

so anything funny happen? I'm like, no, see you there. I'm such an arsehole. This phone call, can we talk about this phone call? Is there anything in this? Yeah, that's right. Anything. Because I read a quote by you recently in a newspaper article

where you said that you were in LA and people wanted you to write a sitcom and you said, I'm going to butcher the quote, but you said, I'm only interested in doing meetings with Broadway producers or with people who would want me to do the music for an animated musical. And now it's just been announced, I believe, like this week, that that's what you're actually doing. So very specific requests, but it's paid off. When I said that, I guess they were things that were already happening.

So I guess I was more reflecting what was going on. It's based on the Ice Cream Man story, though? Yeah. what was going on. It's based on the Ice Cream Man story, though? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. It's an animated film of Conan where he gets seriously depressed

and has no anecdotes. And he has to find the anecdote fairy. It's awesome. I can see Tommy lighting up. That would genuinely be up his alley. Yeah. I like cartoons. It's the anecdote fairy.

That's me. Really out of shape anecdote fairy. That's me. Really out of shape anecdote fairy. Oh man, it's so bewitching for me to see you guys in my island here going, you guys did the

same competition at some stage and One Direction is like sliding doors you guys. Two versions of Gwyneth Paltrow right there.

If I had more hair to straighten then we could be neck and neck. We could be Jack Black and Philip Seymour Hoffman fighting for the same role. So many parallels. You've been on Conan.

You like Conan. You don't wear shoes on stage. Tommy can't afford shoes. Yeah, you're in a production about Jesus Christ. I did religious education for a year at school. What else? It's creepy. This is creepy.

Yeah. Yeah, the similarities. Too similar. Yeah. Yeah, in a way. what else it's creepy this is creepy yeah yeah similarities too similar yeah in a way it's yeah so we're actually underneath a tennis centre

underneath the Rod Laver Arena which we got we I'm not used to I didn't actually know the difference

I didn't really know where this place was Rod Laver Arena I actually went to the other one first which is High Sense Arena the new soccer one

no High Sense Arena the other tennis court oh the smaller high sense arena the new soccer one no high sense arena the other tennis court the smaller tennis court yeah the smaller tennis court so I was up there waiting out the front and like

there was just heaps of people in ice hockey uniforms and I'm like this is a long bow like what I don't remember this coming up

in the bible I'm not a massive fan it's a reinterpretation yeah to modern it up for the kids these days it's Wayne Gretzky playing Mary Magdalene, maybe?

Well, God created ice hockey, so it's sort of in the same arena, I guess. But because I was actually running a little bit late, I was trying to believe it, going, this could be something. They could have Jesus on the back of their jersey with a number. I think the Bible on Ice is an awesome idea. I think we should make it happen. Yeah, sure. We're looking for anything.

You just need something to do. You sort out the ice. Okay. I'll write some bad songs. You get Dick Coveney on board. Yeah, and Josh Earl can play Mary. Perfect. A lot of talk about Josh Earl in this, which I'm enjoying.

Yeah. I'm enjoying people maybe tuning in. He's not a good person. Pardon? He's not a good person? He's not a good person. No? No, terribly.

What's the worst thing you've seen or heard about Josh Earl doing? What's the best thing you can make up? He made a jacket out of some children once. Oh, wow. Out of children. Adults would have been fine killing adults, but children, that was... Was this back when he lived in Tasmania? Yeah, it was freezing.

Yeah, he thought no one would ever find out about it. He had too many children and not enough jackets. I mean, it makes sense. There's a logic to it. And now that he has a child, would you be worried that that's the only reason? He just is producing children to make new jackets out of. No, he's very selfish. He'll keep his own child alive.

What a deep irony. I read about back in... What was it, like a year ago now or something, you wrote a specific song for Jonathan Ross called Woody Allen Jesus. Yeah. And you got in a lot of trouble for that. But now that you're in the musical Jesus Christ Superstar, that's fine. So obviously the controversial bit was Woody Allen. How does that work?

I don't know. There's just something about Woody that the BBC hate. Religion's fine and you can poke fun at that, but not the great... It was so weird, that thing. It was just a bad decision by an exec. The top exec kind of got the heebie-jeebies because it was going to go out on Christmas Eve.

And it was a really, compared to most of my stuff, incredibly gentle, not particularly great, but quite fun song, like a sort of hymn comparing Jesus to how you would describe him in modern terms, you know. And I don't know. Part of me thinks because Tom Cruise was on that episode, and I wonder if it was some weird scientology thing where you're not allowed to mock religion when uh grand poobah tom is on or something should have done woody allen zanu or whatever whatever that's a weird thing with you because you're quite a strong atheist and for you to be in a musical jesus christ superstar i mean

you are the guy that's really stitching Jesus up, but still. Yeah, but it's an atheist musical. This is what people don't realise. There's no God in this. Right. The question of whether God exists never gets answered. In fact, the last lyric, the first lyric is, you've started to believe the things they say of you.

You really do believe this talk of God is true out of Judas's mouth. Then you see this guy kind of going hysterical and getting very popular, becoming a superstar. It's really an examination of celebrity. And then everyone dies, and Judas comes back from the dead, not Jesus, and sings, Do you think you're what they say you are? The last line is,

Are you what they say you are? And up he goes and gets crucified. There's no God. It's just people who believe in God. And one doo-doo thinks it's all bullshit. We're going to have to pay a lot of money for the rights to those songs that you've sung the lyrics from on this podcast now. You've bankrupted

the little dum-dum club. It'll be worth it. But I would happily do a good musical in which God is a character, of course. I prefer to... No, in fact, I don't care.

It's different jobs. Like there's storytelling. It's like I don't believe in psychics, but Matilda moves stuff with her eyes. Yeah, you're right. Why are you doing Jesus Christ, the history of an atheist? I'm like, that's like asking, you know, Andy Serkis why he's doing Lord of the Rings. Does he really believe in hobbits? Goblins, yeah. It's a story, right? why he's doing Lord of the Rings does he really believe in hobbits goblins yeah it's a story right

you should just not to not to try and take your career down from the inside or anything but maybe tonight just for us if you could do

Judas if you could do reprise your Jonathan Ross thing and do Woody Allen doing Judas just for tonight there is a moment

where I do you won't really see it but where I do a little little nervous Woody Allen version of a song, but that's just in my head. I don't think it reads. It's even in the spot where it is. Okay, I'm looking forward to this. Yeah, man, that would be awesome.

I'd love it. It's hard to do Woody Allen when you're screaming high A's the whole time. Yeah, that's true. Woody Allen doesn't really rock. Do you do, like, can you do a Woody Allen? I am probably the worst person at accents and impersonations on the planet. Do you have to do an American accent for Californication? No, I'm me.

Oh, right. I'm a sort of, they think I'm English because they can't tell the difference. But I sort of, he's just like a rock star and he talks like this, you know. But I'm going to try and do some accent training just while I'm in Sydney doing this play and just because I want to act more in America and scripts have started coming my way that are for American characters

and I'm just like, oh, so I'm going to try but I just don't have an ear for that shit. It's a pretty rare thing to get to be able to, for Australian actors, to get to just do Australian. Rebel Wilson's been very lucky that she's gotten to just be Australian in a bunch of things she's done. By the sound of it, it sounds like if you can't do it, you just go, this is what you get, and they go, okay.

It depends how badly they want you. Yeah. Rebel and me and Callie are both examples of they wanted the character. and me and Callie are both examples of they wanted the character they didn't they didn't know they wanted that until they saw it and then they went we want that and that's fine

but yeah I'd like to be able to, I mean I don't want to suddenly just be an actor but I'd love to be able to read a script and go holy shit what a great role and turn up and nail that accent it's exciting stuff you infamously on what was it holy shit, what a great role, and turn up and nail that accent. Yeah. It's exciting stuff.

Yeah, like you infamously on, what was it? Sleuth? Sleuth 101. Sleuth 101, a short-lived murder mystery series on ABC, hosted by Cal Wilson. Oh, yeah. Where they'd be a different cast for each episode. They would act out a murder mystery, and then there'd be a guest detective. You know, they got the concept good.

It was, from what people said watching it, it was, you know, fun to play along with at home and try and guess who'd done it. But my character had a, I had to do a Dutch accent, which I thought I'd better kind of go out of my way and learn up. So anyway, the night before the first day of filming, I watched a bit of Goldmember on YouTube and kind of just got... You really did the work. You did the work, man.

You deserve the reward. And then it's just, it was, like, I loved doing it, but it was also, it was one of the most stressful experiences of my whole life because I was just on set going, I'm doing the worst job of this. This is ridiculous. Schmalk on a pancake.

I should have just signed him as Woody Allen. I did it. I like the idea of those LA casting agents. They probably go through a million people and with the ABC it's like, can you do a Dutch accent? No. Okay, you're in. Yeah, but that was the difference was I got the email saying, can you do a Dutch

accent? And you're not in a position to say no to anything. It's like, I can do whatever you want me to do. Yeah, and then I was so bad that they built this thing into the script where it was like, okay, when this gets brought up, because you did a bit of impro in studio, it was like, obviously, the producer said, look, when Claire Hooper, the guest, comes in,

she's obviously going to call you on how shit your accent is. So when that happens, when that happens, so 30 your accent is. So when that happens, when that happens, so 30 seconds into talking to her when this happens, just drop it and say you're from Broadmeadows and that you're pretending to be Dutch to just impress people. I'm like, that makes sense. Three minutes in, when she attacks how bad your acting is,

this is what you say. I'm Tommy Dastley. I was out of work. I'm just the guy that fills the vending machines here. I've snuck into the studio. But then, yeah, everyone afterwards was like man that was so great how you brought the curtain down and you did some great acting work there pretending to have a really shit accent I'm like

I'm just going to ride with this for a little bit this is good you could be the guy in LA with a shit accent yeah that's your niche you wouldn't be the only one so what is LA like coming from because you, you know, the way that you talk, you sound like you're not really into the bullshit side of it, but obviously LA is plenty of that sort of stuff. Yeah, I reckon all this stuff is as bullshit as you want it to be.

I'm not in the scene. There's lots of people over there. I mean, I don't know Joel Edgerton, but I know all his friends and stuff, and I guess you can get whipped up in that, over there or i mean i don't know joel edged and all that but i know all his friends and stuff and i guess you can get whipped up in that but i was flying in and out most weeks doing gigs in the weekend in england flying 13 hours and doing weekdays in la so i was just working you know and then i went out with um the last couple of weeks of filming i got the family and we all went

and stayed in venice and we just did family stuff unless i was on set and and that's it and as i say i tend to not take all the meetings they love meetings and i my next two years is already full so there's no point and um and there's a way to do it um that's not bullshit but then i was in new york a few weeks ago and i went to the Vogue Met Ball at the Metropolitan Museum and, you know, ended up out afterwards with Jake Gyllenhaal and Leo was sort of around. I didn't really meet him and, you know, Mumford and... His sons, yes.

And his sons, Kerry Mulligan, all these hot, the Gatsby gang and Jake. And I sort of got a glimpse of how you could just get in a loop you can just because you can just go out all night and these boys can have sex with them when they want to and they sort of do these weird chases through the streets being followed by paps which they half don't want to happen and half do want to happen and they're all saying they're just obviously it goes without saying normal chaps in their 30s you know just absolutely normal people in a fairly extraordinary situation and that couple weeks i was in new york i was kind of out every night and getting home at four and i just went wow you could slide down this hole so easily you know yeah um luckily i've got a

couple of kids and i i've got a return ticket home and I kind of pull myself out of there by the hair. But I can imagine it getting crazy. And I think for me that having a relationship that I've been in since I was a child basically and kids and stuff is like so, so important because it just keeps you focused on the work. Yeah. Now I've noticed this, I don't know whether you agree with this, but I think the fans of musical comedy

are just one of the more obsessive type of people I've ever met. Would you agree with that? Well, I feel like mine are pretty weird, but I don't have an experience of anyone else's. Of anyone, yeah, right. Have you noticed that? I genuinely have.

Like, Tripod fans used to, and Paul McDermott's fans used to be full on. Even Sammy J? Maybe it's, not quite Josh Earl, but yeah, Sammy J. There's something about probably being able to be funny, which I don't claim, but, you know, that if you can then go and be sweet as well. I mean, in all comedy, there's something amazing about being able to turn it.

But as a stand-up, it's much, much, much harder. That's what's amazing about Edinburgh and Melbourne is everyone is obliged to do hour-long shows. And that sort of potential for a narrative arc where someone like Hamster, he'll always have a switch. Justin Hamilton. Yeah, where it gets quite soft and often quite passionate and almost romantic.

Yeah. You know, and there's something beautiful about that construct. Fleety could do it too and I'm sure you guys can as well. But in music, it's kind of easier to manipulate people in that way. So you can be really dark, really dark funny. So you're making them laugh and making people laugh is a very makes them very vulnerable to manipulation and then if you can do what paul madem used to do and play throw your arms around me at the end of the show everyone just goes oh look he's got a soul as well you know i don't

have a soul i'm just trying to make you pay more money for my merchandise. But, yeah, I think, is it that? Is it that you're sardonic and satirical and then vulnerable? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it sounds like it. I mean, the examples I constantly think of is, your understudies just keep walking into this room. This is a popular room that we're in. We need a sign.

Yeah. Isn't this the official Rod Laver podcast room? Yes. This is a media room. It should be soundproof with big red lights out. It sounds like there's construction going on next to us. Tim, thank you so much for giving up your time to us this afternoon. We really, really appreciate it.

I told you I wasn't funny interviewing. I don't do funny. No, this was great. It's always lovely to see you and looking forward to the show tonight. And thanks so much for joining us. Well, I won't have a voice because you just... Hey, we know some songs. Not the songs from the musical, but we can do something.

We can sing. It's not silence. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I know a couple of numbers. I know all of Jamiroquai's back catalogue. I can get up and sing Cosmic Girl if you need it. Guys, thanks heaps for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.