The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 149 - Nick Cody & Dilruk Jayasinha

Episode Date: July 30, 2013

Housekeeping, Corpse Marathons and 9/11 Bottleshop.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey Melbourne mates, in one week's time I am doing my solo show, Pipsqueak, just for you guys at the Butterfly Club from August the 6th till the 11th. You should totally come down, it's such a fun show, I'm really looking forward to doing it. And just for you friends of the show, if you enter the promo code DUMDUM, two words when you check out, you will get a sweet discount on your ticket. When you check out, you will get a sweet discount on your ticket. So come down. It's August the 6th till the 11th. It's at the Butterfly Club in Melbourne. For tickets and more details, you can go to thebutterflyclub.com or to my website, tommydassolo.com, and I'll see you there, mates.

Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting opposite me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day again. I have a little bit of unfinished business from last week's episode that we recorded. Oh, a bit of TBC.

A bit of TBC. Right. As you heard on last week's Little Dumb Dumb Club. Yes. Just quickly, can I say, just to follow up on something from the last couple of weeks, it's actually really, you've shaved today. Yes. And it's weird.

Yeah. A lot of people say that. Yeah. I've gotten used to seeing you with a beard and now it's... I know. I know. I did look at it once I shaved and went, oh, is this what it's going to be like from now on? That soft little chinny horse.

Yeah. Anyway. So this is a weird thing. After last week's episode, we did with Michael Hing and Luke McGregor. Yep. And we recorded it at my house. We're now at your house. Yes.

And after we, very quickly after that recording, we went out and got dinner. And my girlfriend told me the next day that when she went into the bathroom, the floor was covered in piss. Really? So I'm instantly cleared. I'm instantly out because I live in the house. Right. And if that was my tendency, I would have been out long ago. Yeah.

So I've been ruled out. Yeah. My girlfriend is going to give you the benefit of the doubt because you've been around a number of times. That wasn't me. I took a shit in the shower, but I did not piss on the floor. Well, I just did use your bathroom and I actually didn't need to use it, but another part of it was my girlfriend telling me to go in there and see if there was piss on the floor.

What are you doing recon? To kind of formally clear your name. Did you dust for piss prints? I pissed for piss. So I pissed on top of the other piss that was already there. So now we've basically... Did you have like a, what is it called? Not NYPD, CSI.

Did you have like a piss torch instead of a sperm torch? It glows red, yeah, if it's piss. If you've never listened to this show before, we're five years old, by the way. Yeah, yeah, if it's piss. If you've never listened to this show before, we're five years old, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So now basically what we have to do is it's sort of a two-horse race between Luke McGregor and Michael Hing, between which one of those two pissed all over my bathroom

and my lovely girlfriend had to clean up. The most disgusting game of Cluedo ever. Yeah. So I don't know. Honestly, I've been thinking about this a lot in the last week and I can't really pick who my vote would rest with, who I think would be the most likely out of those two men to do that. This is definitely something.

We can use the poll function on the Facebook page for the first time ever. Don't say the word poll when we're talking about human piss. Well, let's bring in our two guests and see if they have any... They are also two... They're two men who also know both of these men. This is now a piss panel show, isn't it? And then maybe at the end of the episode,

if we've worked out a consensus, we can call one of those two guys. Q and A and P. Yeah. The yellow room. Well, first of all, making his first appearance on the show, you may have heard him on the Shelf podcast. You may have seen him live on Bowen on Channel 31.

Please welcome into the little dum-dum club, Dilrok Jasingha. Yay! Are we applauding? That was me clapping. I just realised I've introduced you a number of times on stage at comedy gigs, but this is the first time I haven't had the benefit of big echoey speakers and lots of crowd noise and clapping. I was just kind of marked because it's always like,

Dilraba! I did that last week. I introduced him and definitely got halfway through the word and went, oh, I'm not sure if I know this one. And the last half of it was definitely on a downward lilt. Dilraja! Dilraja!

Dilraja! How was that, though, out of ten? That was perfect. That was actually perfect. I don't know why I keep insisting on it. I think I've told you this. It was Daniel Towns who pulled me aside once, because I used to just go as Dil Space Ruck, or Rook, and he pulled me aside.

Dil Space Ruck? That is. Dill Space Ruck? That is weird. I can see why you changed it because that's so dumb. It goes with my NASA gear. But yeah, no, Daniel Towns said because his name is Pavelzik but he used his mother's maiden name and now it gets really fucked up when he books flights.

Everyone books him as Daniel Towns but there's nothing on his ID. Hang on, Daniel Towns, that's not his last name. No, I know that. I didn't know that either. Neither does European Man. His real name is Daniel Terrible at Twitter. That's actually his last, it's his surname.

I'll enjoy listening to this right before I chop it out of the edit suite. How are you going, Dil, anyway? Because this is your first time. You're a dum-dum debutante. Yeah, I'm fucking excited. I remember when I was doing a little radio show on a community radio. Best place for it. I'd finished editing and walked out,

and you three were walking in to do the first recording. Oh, yeah. So you've got the very newest, and you've got the oldest guest that's yet to be introduced. I know, and three years later, I'm here, I'm excited. Yeah, awesome. We're also making a return to the program. It's, well, what would it be now?

200 and something days until his birthday from something for the drive home. Please welcome into the Little Dun Dun Club, Nick Cody. I think you got that name right. I think you got the pronunciation right. Nick Cody. Has anyone fucked up Nick Cody?

No, no. Oh, the age did. The age did. The age called me Nick Kobe Has anyone fucked up Nick Cody? No. No. Oh, The Age did. The Age did. The Age called me Nick Kobe on a story about the X-Fed one night during Comedy Festival in like 2007 when someone got stabbed before the late night show on The X-Fed. Did you get a mention in that? Yeah. Or Nick Kobe did.

Was that in the Arts or the Police Report? Yeah. And also, how'd you get that? We should quickly, for context, The X-FFit is kind of a famous gig among Melbourne comedians. Infamous. Infamous because it's been around for a very long time and it's a notoriously brutal gig. It used to be a lot rowdier and it used to be a lot...

Especially during the comedy festivals, very hard. Yeah. It's just ridiculous. And I remember that time, you know what, because I was quite upset at that because I turned up to that gig. I wasn't on. I just walked past on the way to a car, to my car.

On the way to a car. Yeah, I was going to a car. Is that another gig? We're very excited. I'm not fussy. Any car. I walked past and I actually walked over blood in the alleyway and went, oh, this is looking like a big night.

And then there was a policeman with you know a guy with his arm around his back forcing him into the ground and I'm like wow and it was next to the expert and then I went in

and there was a you know there was a policeman or whatever and they go oh by the way that happened in here and we're kicking off in five minutes

and I was like alright good luck with that one and left and then the MC then started telling everyone Tom Seeger

started telling everyone oh Seger started telling everyone oh Chandler was too scared to do his gig I was like no I saw a crime

evidence scene that I had nothing to do with and I kept walking Tom Seger very good on his feet the blue and red siren

like you could see the lights the police lights coming through the back of the window behind him and the show starts and he walks out

and the very first sentence was, why is everyone quiet for you? You just say you can't get stabbed or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, boring. Let's go back to talking about all the piss that's in my toilet. Hang on. And you got the mention in the paper and not him? Yeah.

Yeah, what was your, what context were you mentioned in? Oh, just the comics that were there that night. Troy Kinney. Nick Coby was better than seeing someone get stabbed? Marginally. So you guys, Dill, knowing Michael Hing and Luke McGregor, who do you think would be more likely to have done this to my toilet? I'm sorry, I know you've got things to talk about, Chandler.

I'm going to go with Hing purely just on racist reasons. Okay, yeah. This is another thing we need to talk about quickly because this is two weeks for two now where my dog, Jack, Time Dog, who's made an appearance in the show a couple of times. Last week when Michael Hing came in, who is of Asian descent, the dog barked at him. If the Hing didn't give it away. Just in case, you never know. Yeah, and you pronouncing Michael as Michael.

Michael. Michael. Should be a good 15 seconds in this episode so far. So he got barked at. Luke McGregor came in, no barking. This evening, Dilra comes into my house, gets barked at. Cody comes in, no barking. Literally, he was barking at me and I said, mate, I've got my citizenship

and he stopped barking. Stopped instantly. This week he was probably just barking going, his barking language was actually saying, mate, we had your mate last week and he pissed all over the place. Don't come in here. Well, because for a dog that's very territorial, so he would think that Michael Hing or Luke would be trying to kind of like take

over his role in the house. Or could your dog have just pissed on the floor? That's likely. That is awesome if he's done it next to the toilet. Next to the toilet. To frame an Asian person. Who framed Lodger Labbit? Jeez, we are going to lose so many sponsorship dollars over this one.

Doris, please. And break. Yeah. So your dog, though, it could have been your dog. It could have been the dog. I hadn't really thought of that because my girlfriend kind of has rose-coloured glasses when it comes to the dog. The dog can do no wrong.

And the way she's framed this whole incident, it never even entered my mind that the dog could have possibly done it. But now that you say it, the dog probably did do it. But the dog, if you... I'm going to be honest. Out of the two humans versus the creature that he's done to piss on floors, it's still the Asian. If he's pissed right next to the toilet, that's pretty impressive. Yeah.

If he's learnt that far and just got there and gone, mate, this is as close as I can get. Yeah, it's like the cat out of Meet the Parents So what you guys are suggesting Is that we should have the dog put down No I'm suggesting we have Michael Ng put down Just in case What's your house made like?

Are they likely to have pissed on the floor? No because this was like There was a bit of bathroom usage straight after we did the show, and then we went out and then she would use it. And how come Chandler got ruled out? Because there was no piss just now. Chandler got ruled out because he's been in the house

a few times before. We know we can trust him. I don't think I've ever gone to your toilet. That seems... Yeah. Really? Yeah. So where did you piss then?

On the dog. In the dog's mouth, and then it came out of the dog. So it kind of is Chandler's Piss. You know, whoever touched it last, it's theirs, so... It was Carl in the kitchen with his dick. Yeah. No, it was Carl in the dog with his dick, which sounds even worse than what the original story was.

Okay, well, I'm going to put the dog on the table and I'll... So it's one vote dog, one vote Michael Hing. No one's willing to vote for McGregor. I'll vote for McGregor. I could also say it is a thing that if it had to be a human to piss on the floor out of those two, I would pick McGregor just because he'd be the guy that'd go, oh, um, oh, and then just walk out.

Apologising to his piss as it's coming out of him. But also, I did think about this because he has OCD. Yeah. So surely his OCD would not allow him to leave pissing. No, he's pissed on it another 18 times. Yeah. We did have to wait three hours to start the podcast for him to do it and then mop it up and then do it again.

And he did surf into the podcast on a yellow wave, so maybe that was actually him. Surf in the yellow wave. It's too bad we don't give these episodes names because I'd go back and rename that one. Surf in the yellow wave. Which actually is a good title because Michael Hing's in it. He's allowed to say it

because that's his mate. People who can't see me just listen to my fucking last name. Got a bit of the dark here. That's a nice attempt at it. That is a very good point. Yeah, McGregor. McGregor wouldn't let that happen

unless he was trying to frame Michael Hing. Or the dog. Yeah. Everyone hates your dog. I love the idea of McGregor going to that much effort to frame a dog. And why? Like, what's the motive here? Why is this happening?

Yeah, so, yeah, anyway, I just thought I should bring that up as a bit of literal and metaphorical housekeeping. If that's not a good reason for the listeners to email in with theories. Who they think. Yeah, Michael Hing versus Luke McGregor. Piss theories. Yeah. I should just make people do a piss test every time we record at my house now. Just cause.

Just like the Olympics. Just like the Olympics. You just have your own sample when you rock up. Yeah. And if I test it for drugs and it comes back positive, I just go and I delete all the episodes that you've been on. To teach you a lesson. Hey, I just finished a run today, a proper run,

the Age Run Melbourne, I think it's called. And I did that last year. And you did this exact, the same same Was this the exact same one? Yeah same event Not the same one As in the same day and year Because I can't do that again Last year's version of it

I did And that was the one where There was a There was a bit of Argy bargy On the On the finishing line You pushed through the ladies

Yes Is argy bargy a cool new term For domestic violence? Abuse against women? Is it domestic violence if I don't know the women? Gee, I don't know. That's another poll we can put up. You know what?

You need a bit of domestos violence to clean up your piss problem, don't you, mate? Domestos violence. People listening to this have lost it, so let's just leave a good minute for them to catch their breath. When do we start the poof-to-bashing? Because we've done racism. Vows against women.

Yeah, that's minute 40 that stuff comes in. Don't jump ahead, Dylan. So last time, if you'd heard, a year ago, what happened was my girlfriend got in front of me. We'd been going the same level the whole time. I'd been sort of trying to let her, you know, going as slow as she could go so that we were going at the same level. And then it got to 100 metres before the end.

She took off and just went, I'm going to win it. I'm like, what? And so I raced through. I busted through a bunch of women to catch up to her in time. They took a photo right as that happened. There's a camera on the finishing line. They happened to get the exact moment where I'm going sideways

busting through two women and they're just looking at me going what the fuck are you doing and you're you're breaking through because you're worried that this is symbolic

of your relationship as a whole but one day she's just going to break away from you and sprint out to freedom and you're thinking I'm fucking not having this

if that's going to happen I'm going to take down some women on the way through so and the photo you look very aggressive as well the moment of snap yeah yeah And you're thinking, I'm fucking not having this. If that's going to happen, I'm going to take down some women on the way through. And the photo, you look very aggressive as well at the moment of snap. Because Chandler knows there's only inches between 1292nd place and 1293rd place. And if you want to be not a champion, you've got to go above and beyond.

Yes. Yes. I'm a competitive person. I didn't want to be – because it gets printed in the age as well All the times I didn't want to be below my girlfriend's time So what happened was We did the same thing again today

Which is good We did the same run and everything How many female casualties on the track today? Strike? Was it ten? No, there was a spare I had to do another lap And get one of them on the way through

uh no it was good we were in good form and uh yeah it was it was it was really good run and because i got the impression from talking to you and things that you've said on the podcast that you'd that you'd let yourself go a little bit there'd been a lot of mcdonald's and secret chocolates and yeah but not time for a lot of exercise. That was all talk before Thailand. Thailand was like a training camp. We ran every day in like 35 degree heat every day along the beach. But you've been back for three weeks and you've had McDonald's 89 times in that three weeks. But I've run 88 times.

Okay. Fair enough. Yeah. There's this weird equilibrium in my head that evens out all the bad things I do. Yeah. No, I'm exactly the same. When I go for a run, I'm like, this is a cheeseburger. Yeah. I out all the bad things I do. Yeah. No, I'm exactly the same. When I go for a run, I'm like, this is a cheeseburger. Yeah.

I've earned a cheeseburger. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I've literally been to McDonald's today straight after I went for a 10-kilometer run. So, yeah. I had a big flurry and everything. So, the run was good. We were in good form.

It got to the end, and this is a thing where, honestly, I didn't think about it, but I sort of had a, not a repeat of what happened last year, but a very similar repeat. And after I did it, I was like, oh, no, this is where the camera was last year. So I'm really hoping that this hasn't been captured as evidence. But what happened was we got to the end, and I was actually a little bit in front of my girlfriend this year. Did you give her the finger? No, I just spat behind me.

Because you put cement in her shoes. So I was running in front of her. I sort of went, all right, I'm going to let her catch up a little bit and what I'm going to do, and this is all split-second decision. I haven't planned this out. I just thought very suddenly, I thought, you know what would be good? If we ran in hand in hand. Like, that would be equal.

My order is just tingled. Yeah, yeah. So I went to... Because it's going to be better when you knock over other women if you're holding a woman's hand. I was trying to clothesline her. We can team up and clothesline her. See, I'm friends with one of them.

I don't hate them at all. No, no, no. I was going to grab her hand and then just throw her at someone. So I went to grab her hand and what I did was like, so we were like 10 metres from the line. Some other dude's hand? No, no, no, no. I went to grab her hand and me thinking,

I'm going to grab her hand, she's going to appreciate that and we'll run through together. She made her drop her iPod. She went, fuck off! and then we ran through and i know i'm thinking the photo is going to be of the ipod and her swearing at me awesome yeah so because last time when this happened last time you mentioned that there were photographers and you were very reluctant to to give people any clues as to how they could find the photo yeah and then people found it anyway so i would be saying to the people any clues as to how they could find the photo. And then people found it anyway,

so I would be saying to the people who listened last time, who found it, to go back to that source. Yeah. And hopefully they'll be able to find it. I'm hoping there's like an article where the photos are put side to side and serial pests. I'd love it if instead, because you're saying, you reckon the photo's going to be of her saying,

fuck off, if there's not even a photo, they've given the photo to Mark Knight and then he's caricatured it and this big bubble saying fuck off and then I'm angry

because the little pig is beating me over the line so little pig in a tutu running over the finish line yeah and I've got Chandler written on my side

just in case he can't draw me properly yeah and then yeah no like your left leg is like the Liberal Party and your right leg is the Labor Party.

No, I've got my name on my side. My girlfriend's got her name on her side and then the iPod has got written on it. Chance of a lovely relationship happening from now on. Were there, because I remember you last time saying there were a lot of people in costumes. Yeah. Not so much this year.

Still a bit of that? Not so much this year, but I did the onesie. You know why? Because there was like some kind of comic books or video games kind of convention thing on this weekend that must have flushed them all out. Yeah. I think they were very early on because we were sort of very late on. So there wasn't so many people, but I did...

You were headlining. You were headlining. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did have my phone. I was filming several things at one point and I did have an idea... Just a bit of high speed upsklining. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did have my phone. I was filming several things at one point, and I did have an idea. Just a bit of high-speed upskirting. Yeah.

It did go through my head. I was going to just collect video, every person in costume that I ran past, and on the way past, film me going past them going, fuck off, and they just kept going. But there wasn't that many of them. Not enough, yeah. There was only a couple.

There was a guy dressed as Shane Warne and a guy dressed as Wonder Woman. 80% of the kids. Yeah. Shane Warne cosplay. I love it. That's so good. There was a guy dressed as Tony Abbott, and it was Tony Abbott. He was just ahead of us in the start line.

Yeah, he was running it today. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. It was actually him. Because they just kept saying it over the loudspeaker. Well, Tony Abbott's here today. So I bet Tony Abbott's having a good time.

Aren't you there, Tony? And it went on for a minute until I went, oh, this isn't taking the piss. This is actually a guy. A real guy. He just kept saying it. Yeah. Better not be dressed as a boat, you know, going to get mad. Yeah.

Is he wearing his budgie smugglers? Hashtag political. I did a triathlon a while back, obviously. Mate, you don't have to say that. We're looking at you. We can see that. Pieathlon? Podcast.

Thanks. I'm happy to be here. I'll see you guys. I'm done. Pieathlon. So that was meat, curry, steak and onion. Is that it? Are you going to be doing a triple bypass?

No, he's going to be doing a tri-full. It's bullying, guys. It's literally just straight up bullying. So excited to be here, guys. There's not even an ironic tinge to it. It's just, guys. It's literally just straight-up bullying. So excited to be here. There's not even an ironic tinge to it. It's just actual bullying. If you're at home not finding this funny, you should be here because he is quite fat.

Those things on TV and in magazines about how we need to stamp out bullying, this is exactly what they're talking about. As you're hunting down the person who pissed in your toilet yeah yeah exactly how's that bullying and naming and shaming oh okay yeah no you did a triathlon i did a triathlon i forgot to know whatever my point was but i think it was because i started off with the age category of 25 to 30 and by the time i finished a swim leg i was with the 60 plus year old people but let's go back to talking about how i'm fat have i talked about the time that a friend of mine did the,

what is it, the Portie Peter Pub swim, and he was feeling really good about it, and then he did super shit in it, and it was the year that an old man had died in the middle of it and the dead guy beat my friend. Like his corpse washed up onto the dead guy beat my friend. Like his corpse washed up onto the beach ahead of my friend. Don't you have to run through a

go over a line or something? I love that if the photographer didn't even realise he just published it. It's just Chandler holding his head down under the water. Holding her head down, please. He's got a touch. Yeah, I don't know. I'm very specific. her head down please he's got a touch yeah I don't know I mean there's there's a lot

very specific there's a lot of holes in the story but it's one of those things that you hear and you go you know what the more I fact check

this the more likely I am to find out that it's not real and I so much prefer living in this world where that's a thing that's happened let's just

settle with agreeing on the story that a dead person got out of the water and then ran over the finish line. They weekended Bernie's dim just for the last leg, just to rub it into my mate even more. That would be very good.

That would be very good. Because then the dead person beat, and also two people are saying to your mate, we beat you and we were carrying a dead person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like his parents line it up because they've been trying to convince him to lose weight and get fitter, so they do that. That would be awesome.

That's what they should have done today on the run Melbourne. Weekend at Bernie's costume and be carrying around a dead person. A paper mache dead guy on top of you. Yeah, for 10K. Yeah. That would be awesome.

Okay. I can't believe I excited you. Do it. I'm trying to throw more stuff into the mix, but all I can think to say is you're right. You've really hit on something there. Of all the movies to pick for a peer-to-pub or whatever, Big Wiggin' and Burnin's.

I like to think that it was peer-to-pub to cemetery. Yeah, peer-to-cemetery. He was running his own. Peer-to-public cemetery. Oh, you know what Now this reminds me of something We talk about your toilet I should have said this

At the top of the show I cannot I cannot wait to hear what this is No no this is not as dramatic Speaking of your toilet No I had a thing this week Where I was in a public toilet And

Well you know what How do you Do you carry around Like a notebook to think of? I sit down to piss. What? When you're thinking about your little skits or your little riddles or your little skits, do you carry a notebook and a pen on you at all times? I generally tend to use my phone.

Like, when I can, I have a notepad on me. But if I'm just, you know, if I don't have a bag or whatever, I just use, or if I don't have a jacket with a lot of pockets, I just use the notes on my phone. What about you guys? Oh, no, you don't. No, I'm fine. Yeah, you.

You don't write anything down, do you? No. No. It's just another 25-minute diary story in your festival show. Marty Cody! You're just too ashamed to actually put your material to write. Oh, I've had to write it out word for word sometimes and go,

oh. Yeah, my set list at the moment is like the two items back to back, a wank bin and then dating mum. And then following on from that, pizza. And then after that, Fred Flintstone. Well, your set list for this episode has been McGregor piss Question mark Dead swim

What else what else have we had Racism Punch women Yeah I have no book I find that but most of it I don't know like every tenth word of mine is jizz So I feel like

it is again another it's jay singer thank you for calling back to my material yeah no I carry a notebook just because I don't trust myself

to remember anything I don't like using the phone thing I will say though like it feels very I just do it because it's there and it's

you know better than forgetting it if you don't have it on you. But it just feels – there's something a lot more romantic about having a great idea and having to scribble it down. I completely agree. And I feel sad because I'm starting to use my phone more often to do exactly that just because it's a bit easier.

Yeah. But I – in my old job, you know what? When I worked an office job, I used to like for a lunch break or a toilet break, whatever, go to the toilet and bring out my notepad, my notebook in the toilet and force myself to write a joke while I'm sitting on the toilet. So I was actually at a job last week where I had to use the toilet. I went, you know what? Can I just say quickly, you owe everyone at this table a thank you.

There's an obvious link between you taking shit and you writing your material, which is shit. There's a number of things we could have done, and everyone here, for whatever reason, respect or whatever it is, just decided to let it pass. So you're welcome. Well, I was just censoring myself because I realised that's what I do as well, but that's why I was saying hemorrhoids.

So I found that being on the tour. But I thought maybe I shouldn't share that to the public, but no. No, I'm leaving that in. I'm the gatekeeper here. Just cut and paste and use it a few times. I have hemorrhoids. Give me your fucking hemorrhoids. So, enough callbacks to things that happened before the episode.

I pulled out my notepad, my notebook and my pen and I dropped my pen on the toilet floor and it went directly between the next cubicle and my cubicle and before I picked it up, someone walked into the toilet and then went and sat in the next cubicle. And then as they sat down, I went, oh, okay, and just sort of grabbed the pen. And I was just thinking, maybe that guy's now just thinking.

He didn't see me drop it. He's just seeing me. Oh, free pen. Yeah, just go, toilet pen. All right, well, why wouldn't you pick that up? If you didn't see the pen itself, you just saw your hand moving away. And he's like, oh, what is that? Yeah, there he is.

That guy's just picked that off the floor of the toilet and he's put it behind his ear and he's the editor of the Daily Planet. Old Penzi. Yeah. Old piss pen.

It's a weird kind of silent arrangement slash relationship the being in a cubicle next to someone. Yeah. That you,

like if you look down for a second and you see their feet and you go, man, that's so someone. Yeah. Like if you look down for a second and you see their feet and you go, man, that's so close. Like I could really easily see some dong right now if I wanted to. And I get very embarrassed of going to the toilet when I'm sitting next to someone. I'm thinking, oh, I better not let him hear me take a dump. It's like, well, what else was happening?

In Lorne a few weeks ago, I had to go and use the bathroom for number twos and sat down and there was somebody in the cubicle next to me. There was just two cubicles. Normally you'd leave a space. And it was just really silent. And then this guy has just made a fart noise that I just laughed and then he started laughing. It was like bonding over there.

I was like, oh, this is fine now. Can you high five afterwards when you can? Because it's bad. I reckon it's worse. No was like, oh, this is fine now. You high-five afterwards when you can. Because it's bad. I reckon it's worse. No, no, do you know what? He farted, you laughed. He's like, oh, fuck, I should write this down. Oh, I dropped my pen.

It's kind of weird in just a bar or a pub or just a public toilet in the street or whatever. But I've hated doing it when I work office jobs because it's such a small group that if someone comes in, you see their shoes and you know who it is. Well, the floors at my work are granite, or granite, I don't know how you pronounce it, but you can actually see the reflection of whoever's in there.

And my boss and I made eye contact while I was wiping my ass once. But you don't talk about it. You just go, here's the text return you wanted. Sorry if it's a bit brown. When we worked at Channel 7's The White Room, I don't know if we've all heard that. I ended up taking a lot of shits next to Declan Fay. We were on the same, we synced up.

We were working that job. And then when you finished on the same, we synced up. All right. Through working that job. Right. And then when you finished writing those sketches, did you go to the bathroom? Yay! Excellent. Excellent stuff. How are we going to top that?

I challenge us to try and top that. I challenge us to talk about worse subject matter than this. Shit, shit, piss, shit, shit, piss, piss, shit. Yet still, it's been one of the more highbrow ones we've ever done. Yeah, so far. Wow. Has anyone got anything that hasn't come out of an orifice of theirs to talk about? Quick follow-up again to another thing we were talking about last week.

No, a couple of episodes ago now, we were talking about last week we, no a couple of episodes ago now we were talking about having to get flights and you know being on a plane and kind of accepting your fate a little bit you know and the whole you know how many things can go wrong on the flight back I just went to Tasmania

for a couple of nights, oh yeah, just this weekend just gone plenty of dum dum fans? yeah a few down there, it was very nice I, we flew back in in a pretty small plane, like one of those ones that's just two rows of two seats, so kind of like a little light plane. And I'm sitting there with my headphones on and the lady comes past with the cart with the coffee on it

and I take my headphones off, I ask for a coffee, and then she goes, oh, by the way, sorry about that noise that's going on above you. And I'm like, oh, I've had my headphones on. I didn't even know there was anything going on. And she goes, yeah, we're not really sure what it is, but we're going to get it looked into when we land in Melbourne. I'm like, should be if we land in Melbourne.

There's just a loud noise going on that you have no idea what it is. And I've introduced this conversation by saying I wasn't even aware of it to start with. And so she's not only alerted me to it but made it just sound fucking horrendous. The sun's going to be looking in on us in a second when the roof fucking tears off at 35,000 feet. And ladies and gentlemen, if you look above, you can see. Welcome to Con Air.

You know Cyrus? Is this coffee warm enough? Doesn't matter. This plane's going to be a burning wreckage pretty soon, so that'll heat it up for you. But, yeah, I just found that very strange. That doesn't come up in... The old Boeing convertible.

The old Jetstar soft top. Sorry about the noise above, and also the piss stains around the toilet. We almost got through a whole story. And then on the way up there, the flight was a bit late. We're on the plane and this huge storm hit in Melbourne. So they were like, oh, flights have been grounded for a bit. So we're just going to wait here. So we had to do that thing when you're already on the plane

and you're just sitting there not moving for 45 minutes. And then finally, and the storm outside just looks like it's getting worse and worse and worse. And I've got a gig there in like three hours. So I'm going, fuck, am I even going to make it to Tasmania? And then the captain comes on and goes, all right, we've just been cleared to take off so we're just going to go now. And if anything, the storm's gotten worse.

And I'm like, look, I really want to get there and all, but... My name's Tommy Dastley, not Rob Jell, but... Yeah, so it was a terrifying... But every time I've been down to Tasmania, the flight has been super turbulent. Is that a thing? Is it more like it's windier down there or something? I love the show Air Crash Investigations

and nothing would make me happier to see at the start of next season a shot over Bass Strait with a whole bunch of grey Dum Dum Club t-shirts in the water. Great publicity. And then black box footage of some little boy putting his hand up to the stewardess going, excuse me, but I've got to perform my joke wank bin

in under three hours. And then I'm like doing stand-up as we're going down. I'm like, well, it'd be a shame if I died without these jokes getting out there at least one more time. I'm recording an album on the black box. The last thing they heard was, see you, mate. And then him saying, get it?

See you, mate? Oh, boom. Another interesting Tassie thing, we did this gig and there was a guy on who was funny, who was like a little bit of an older gentleman, I'm going to say. We haven't bashed the elderly yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I brought it up. That's what made me think of it

I was doing a mental inventory and I finished, I did the gig and it was really good, it was a lot of fun and I'd done a bunch of stuff about a few little skits that I do about having cancer was some of the stuff that I did oh man, I love that one

so at the end of the gig we're sitting around and you, I don't know anyone. So I've just met all these dudes for the first time, and there was this younger guy there who has done stand-up a little bit, but he was sort of saying, oh, you know, I haven't gigged for a little while, and, you know, I haven't really written any new material. And, you know, to be honest, I'm kind of struggling. I don't even really know, like, what to write about.

I'm just having a bit of a writer's block. And this older guy who's sitting there kind of points at me and goes, oh, well, you should just get cancer. That seems to work out pretty well, doesn't it? I'm like, nice to meet you. James, was it? Yeah, that did work out pretty well for me, didn't it? What a great old time that was.

Give him the dice. It came up six. It's fine. Just another in the recurring, in the continuing adventures of people seeing you talk about it and go, oh, well, it's bloody hunting season, is it? We've got a free pass, have we? We're in the same room when this happened. I just like the idea that he says you should go and get cancer.

It's like you go to a shop and say, what do you want today? Oh, just some noodles and cancer things. Just go into the toilet after death, so I sit on the same toilet seat and pick it up off you. Contract cancer. Do you want that sub heated up? Yeah, and also, can you leave the microwave door open

as you're doing it so I can contract some sleep? Chicken teriyaki and asbestos. Does that come in there? No, no onion. What kind of cheese do you want? Oh, just a leukaemia tape. Thanks.

Yeah, so apart from the points where I thought I was going to die and I got bullied, it was a really good trip apart from those two instances. I love those gigs. Those in Salon System. It was great. I think we from those two instances. I love those gigs. Those in Launceston. It was great.

I think we've all done them now except for Dilrock, if that is your real name. But they are sweet gigs. Yeah. Any Tassie listeners, yeah, definitely go down to the Fresh Cafe in Launceston and the Waratah Hotel in Hobart. Did you go to the Servo near the Fresh Cafe? No, it's near the Hobart one. It's not.

I know where it was. Was it in Launceston? It's in Launceston. Yeah. It's in Launceston. What are you doing? A deal impression now. Give me a pizza, motherfucker, in Launceston.

It is a Bollisimo. What? You mean the pie shop or Tinny's? Is it Tinny's? Because that's what I was in touch with. It's a Servo. There's a pie shop called Yeah Or Tinnies? Is it Tinnies? Because that's what I was in a chat with There's a pie shop called Tinnies There's an all night servo that does gourmet bakery goods Well no, I didn't go there

An all night servo That does gourmet Yeah I believe they call it down there 4 and 20 I tweeted about this the other day, but around the corner from that Fresh Gig, there's a bottle shop called the 9-11 Bottle Shop. Right. Which struck me as a weird thing to latch on to.

Is it that thing of going, it's like what we were talking about, going down on a plane and going, oh, let's just have sex. It's the last thing. It's like if you're in 9-11, wouldn't it be nice to have a few tinnies? Yeah, I found that very odd. Yeah. It's an odd thing. Yeah, because it's either been named after 9-11 happened or 9-11 happened and they went,

oh, nah. Ah, people off again. Yeah. I'm kind of fond of the name. We'd have to get the stationery changed, you know. This is not going to be newsworthy for more than a week. Feb's going to get his cock out again. Someone's tittle fall out.

That's what I hope all the conspiracy theories are about. George Bush was actually on tour in Tasmania and he's like, went to 9-11, love it. Love the idea of just talking about a bottle shop. No, it's got a special place in his heart because it was the cheapest slab he's ever bought in his life. So he's like, I've got to take this and run with it. I've got to spread

this message throughout the world. I've got something that's a bit overdue that I keep meaning to talk about. It's basically the podcast has finally paid off for me. What's happened is that someone like a friend of the show,

what they have done is they have added me to the Maryborough Wikipedia page. Oh. Yeah. So now if you go to the Maryborough Wikipedia page, under notable people. Yes. You've got Jed Adcock who plays for AFL for the Brisbane Lions, Troy Chaplin who plays for Richmond, Stuart Crammery who plays for Essendon,

Matthew Delvedova, Olympic basketballer. Edmund Herring, Lieutenant Governor of Victoria and Chief Justice of Victoria. John Nicholls, Premiership Player of Carlton. And Carl Chandler, stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedian and co-host of the Little Dum Dum Club podcast. Excellent. But do any of those things have a link? Do you yourself have an article now? Oh, no. Or is your name in red? No, it's not. Excellent. But do any of those things have a link? Like, do you yourself have an article now?

Oh, no. Or is your name in red? No, it's not. No, I don't have a page. Get onto that, whoever added him to the movie. Yeah. But your childhood friends who were in a well-known Australian band, have they not made the cut? No.

Well, you know what? I think that basically when they had to do interviews with anyone they would go where did you grow up? And they're like it's not important. Sold out.

The anti-you. The opposite of you. You can't talk about it enough. Yeah, yeah. I haven't been there for two years but still. Love it. I love the idea of it.

But that must be a good feeling though. Yeah, I love it. But what I'm more fascinated with is I'm positive that no one in Maribor remembers me or knows what a podcast is or anything like that. So they've got to have, like I'm pretty sure they have the internet now and they've got to have looked themselves up on that page and then gone, what the fuck is this?

Yeah. I love that they've finally got the internet in Maryborough and the first thing they do is, what the fuck else is there to do in Maryborough? We better look up ourselves just to see if this thing's real. No, they're like, oh, we know. We've been to the Ballarat McDonald's. I wonder if they've got one in Bendigo.

Is there a Bendigo McDonald's? Ask Jews. I want someone to put me on the Notable People of Melbourne. Is that any chance of having the Melbourne Wikipedia page? What about your school? Would you have notable people from your school? Yeah, maybe There's already a couple of people from my year level Who are doing things

Who are doing pretty well Yeah Well, I'm more keen to find out how you found out about it Were you googling Mary Burra No it was sent to me The person who Changed it for me

We've got to explain to Dilrock When there's people that like What you do in comedy They're called fans They don't just complain To the establishment Like you'll probably experience it It's about time Dilrock

Got taken down a peg or two On this podcast Because he's had it Too fucking good so far. He's been getting away with it for far too long. Oh, you're lardy darn not pissing on the toilet floor. So that's fans, is it? What is it?

Fans. Okay. Our approach to quotes supporting new comedians, anytime we have someone on this show who's not, like, you know, been on before, it's just, like, Woodbury, just any... We just fucking bully them. We just drive them into the ground. And Paul, I'm finally in the room where all these people...

Shut the fuck up! It's the podcast equivalent of, like, working at a plumber's and going, can you go down the hardware store and buy us a Skyhook? And they get down there, there's no such thing as a Skyhook, fuckhead. Yeah, the podcasting apprenticeship.

Yeah, yeah. I think that's why I was on the first episode because I was the only one that I could walk in. What's this all about? Shut up, you fucking idiot. I don't like it.

Mate, you guys should host my birthday one year. Just getting back to the school thing, I've put myself through the idea, like you have those grand moments where you go, what if I ever got asked to go back to school and do something? Would I do it?

Yeah. And I honestly don't know if I would because I remember being that age and I remember any time anyone came in, no matter who they were, I'd just be like, this guy is a cunt. I don't need to know anything about him. And just knowing that there'd be people, you know what I mean?

I don't think I could do it. Would you do a gig at your school? Well, I'd be more scared of physical violence. Yeah, right. That's more, yeah. I have debated over the years whether to go back and do a gig and I sort of think, oh, no one remembers me, and my friends moved away from Mirabarra.

Yeah. When we all get to 16, 17 years old and just go, boom, let's just tell Mum and Dad we're going to McDonald's and not come back. So I don't really know many people that live there anymore, so I think the only people that would have any fascination with seeing me would be like someone going, I remember this dickhead from school. He wasn't funny.

Let's turn up and deliberately not laugh. Right. That's my idea of how the gig would happen. Yeah. But I feel like it would be a thing where you'd get asked to do it just because you're a notable kind of graduate. And then, yeah, of course no one there is going to know who you are. I got asked last year to go and speak at Westbourne Grammar School to the Year 12 students. Really? I was in LA with you blokes. Yeah. And then, yeah, of course no one there is going to know who you are. I got asked last year to go and speak at Westbourne Grammar School to the Year 12 students.

Really? I was in LA with you blokes. Right. Yeah. So who did they get instead? Like one of the really good cleaners from years ago? He's mean. Hey, mate, I'll have you know Julian Knight went to my high school, all right?

Really? Yeah. Hoddle Street Hero? Is that the... I don't know what his nickname was we got in trouble Julian Knight was the guy

that did the Hoddle Street Massacre and we got before my time yeah that's why we're all laughing so yeah

I'm going to explain what jokes out of this look I'm representing your international listeners who don't know who Julian Knight is I didn't know

who Julian Knight was either yeah Hoddle Street Massacre I used to get in trouble on one of those days, one of the days called when like parents, prospective students

turn up to the school and they get shown around. Oh, open day? Yeah, open day. Yeah. And they'd be like,

was there anyone famous? And I, yeah, Julian Knight? Mr. Cody, please go to the... Yeah. I like to think that 10 years from now someone's going to say,

Nick Cody, and they're like, Mr. Little Kiddo, when you go to the principal's office, don't bring up that fuckhead's name in our school ever again. I like to think that the teachers have gone off at you thinking, you shouldn't say Julian Knight because the parents might think that he learnt that in gun class. When was this? The Hottel Street? Oh, you've never heard of...

No, no. This is like one of the biggest tragedies in Melbourne's history. Yeah, no, I honestly... That's great. I'm so glad you're here. Yeah. You're making me feel less like a dick. Yeah.

Let's not go into complete detail about it, but I think like 20, 30 years ago... Why not? It's been pretty funny so far. It was before 9-11 bottle shop. Yeah. Actually, you know what? There is a Hottel Street milk bar. I presume it's named after that tragedy as well, so... Yeah, actually, you know what? There is a Hoddle Street Milk Bar.

I presume it's named after that tragedy as well. So roughly when was this? Oh, this would have been late 80s. Oh, okay. I thought you meant like he was in your year. And I was wondering, because this then must have happened a few years ago, in which case, how have I not heard about this? Wow, okay. Yeah, how have I not heard about this? Wow. Okay.

Yeah. It's old school. Do you want to get on Wikipedia right now and put Nick Cody into the Julie Wikipedia page? Yeah. Under a compost? No, man. We have gone way too far with this. Let's talk about something else.

Notable schoolmates. Nick Cody, stand-up comedian and host of podcast Something for the Drive Home. Oh, man. Jesus. What about this? I know this is one of your favourite subjects, Nick Cody. I went to a wedding yesterday. Took up a whole day of my weekend.

Yours? No, I would have probably prefixed. Surprisingly, not married yet. Was that why you were doing the marathon today? Are you like Runaway Bride? Runaway Crew? Yeah. And my girlfriend, or now wife, nearly caught me.

That's why I was like, no! Fuck off, man! No. I went to a wedding. And you know what just struck me? I don't know. Have you been to weddings before, Tommy, or not? I've been to – I went to Josh Earle's wedding.

Oh, yeah? And then, like, cousins' weddings when I was, like, a little kid. But I haven't really been – I haven't kind of reached the point yet where, like, my school friends, like, that are getting engaged or anything like that. It hasn't quite started happening yet. Yeah. But I reckon it's close.

Anyway, Cody, you've been to some. Yeah, yeah. Dilrock, you went to your arranged one, obviously. Fuck off. Is that the only reason? You thought that up today, didn't you? Like earlier today. No, no, no, no, I didn't. I thought of it then.

This has a point to it. It wasn't just an excuse to say that. And then move on. He was actually a part of a dowry. They got Dilrach and a pig and a sheep. I was going for a couch. Yeah, I got it. I was with you.

We're back to fatness now. We move from race. Let's the jury show that Dilrach has laughed at all of this so far. One of my favourite things is racism when it show The Dillrack has laughed At all of this so far One of my favourite things Is racism when it's When it's wrong Like when it's just off Like it's just

As a poster of the right racism Yeah exactly Yeah that I can't stand I like the really accurate stuff That was a Daryana fat joke I thought I nailed it Anyway Is this still a thing

Like this is obviously Traditionally correct still a thing? This is obviously traditionally correct and a thing that people used to do. Do people still have, like, one side of the chapel is for one family and the other side is for the other side of the family? That's still a thing, isn't it? I just find that ridiculous. Why is there a need for that?

Because to me it just seems like you're at the footy and you're sort of being split in half. Like one team's on one side. Like an English Premier League game. Yeah. You've just been segregated by the aisle and you're both like barracking for your man, going, I hope he gets married before she does.

Yeah, marry the shit out of her, bro. We won. Oh, no, we're taking that one. Yeah. I just find that weird, like you can't just sit among, like we actually sat on one side and it was like, no, no, you're on the wrong side. Like, really?

Are you trying to be like the Rosa Parks of weddings? You're right, it is pretty weird because like you would think... That would be awesome if they had actually said, no, you can sit up the back of the wedding. You just come back from Thailand, you've got a pretty severe tan. It's pretty weird because like, yeah, I mean the whole thing is these people are coming together

and they're joining their lives together. Yeah. You would think having everyone sit in amongst each other would be symbolic of that. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But we were physically moved. Who was the,

whose wedding was it? Like how close were you to that person? It was my girlfriend's friends. Okay. Did they have a gift registry or did they have that wishing well bullshit? The latter bullshit that you mentioned. The wishing well one? Yeah.

That nothing sickens me more than a wishing well. Hey guys, we just dropped 30 grand on this day. We'd love if you could give us a bit of cash. Yeah. How about save my Saturday and just buy your own shit? I hate it. That's the thing. My cousins got married recently and they did that and there was a lot of uproar in the

family about it. I don't get why people give a shit. You're going to get a gift. You're going to spend the money anyway. What do you give a fuck if people want to spend the money on their honeymoon? I don't see why people get worked up about it. Should we just scale back the day and then just use your own money to buy it? Yeah, but then what? You're going to ask if you're still going to have a gift registry and ask for a heap of shit.

Because the wishing well is like, guys, we've got everything we need, but if you give us some cash, we'll figure out some other shit in the future. There's always going to be new Xbox games. Pay for the honeymoon. This won't last. We'll need this money for the future. There's always going to be new Xbox games. Pay for the honeymoon. This won't last. We'll need this money for the divorce. That's what it should be. The money should go into a safe account that's locked down and then if you have a divorce

it busts it open and you both use it to go through the tricky and heartbreaking court proceedings. Would that really entice you to put more money towards it? This is just going to go to the courts. I'll chuck $200. in heartbreaking court proceedings. So would that really entice you to put more money towards... For sure. Really? Fuck yeah. Yeah.

If you thought, this is just going to go to the courts. Yeah. I'll chuck 200. No, it means that it's not going to bankrupt them, if anything. Like my mate, if she cheats on him or whatever and they get divorced, it's not going to mean he loses all his money. I'll chip in a little bit now so that if...

I love my optimistic... I'm going to say it. I'm the only one that's got the balls to say it. I'm onto something here. You're breaking ground. I've really done it. Divorce parties. Let's do it.

Now can I say what you just said now that you've broke the barrier for me to say? I wasn't listening. I had a mate's wedding about a couple of months ago and they had gift registry and I bought them some, I can't even remember it was like whatever the it's just the rice yeah the rice to get to the chicken you got to the end and there was only like five chickens yeah yeah like hand towels and rings for hand towels and stuff so that's why i got them a bunch of stuff when you get down to the point where it's like

you don't really want this at all you just felt like you had to put a certain number of things for a certain number of guests. I've ordered it, but I'm quite broke at the moment, and it got rejected. So my credit card got – they said, oh, there's not enough money or whatever. And they said, well, we'll hold it for you. And I get paid on a Thursday. I was like, oh, okay, cool. I'll sort it out on the Thursday.

You put your gift on lay-by. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I never got around to it. And I only remembered on Thursday I got a letter in the mail from my friends thanking me for me showing up to the wedding and getting them a gift. I'm like, I guess my job's done. They think I bought them something. Perfect.

But I feel bad. I feel like I need to still give them something. But I don't know. Maybe I might. Yeah. Yeah, they got it, didn't they? They assume I've given them something. I don't.

You know what? Is that what a Sri Lankan giver is? Yeah, they got it, didn't they? Yeah, they assume I've given them something. I don't, you know what, I'm not... Is that what a Sri Lankan giver is? I could see you like... Speaking of lengthy court proceedings... This is a racist one that makes sense. Finally. Shout out to the jury who are listening to this episode

in the court case against Cody and Chandler and me. I've got a Fool's Festival show ready next year. By booing. The Little Sad Sad Club featuring Fatty McPiper. But, no, I do agree with both your points. Yeah, I'm torn on that whole wishing well thing because it's like, you know what, it makes sense. Technically, it makes sense.

But it's also that thing of people going, I want some money. And I'm like, no, you're not allowed to ask for money. It's so cold. It feels like, and it's also like how much you put in. Because when it's broken down, we're going to waste your Saturday and you're going to give me some money for that.

It's just like being bullied for a whole Saturday. Like, you're going to dress up Saturday and you're going to give me some money for that. It's just like being bullied for a whole Saturday. Like, you're going to dress up. You don't want to. You're going to come here. You don't want to. You're going to get us a thing. You don't want to. And give us some of your money.

But see, to me, like, I... And again, I've not been in the position where that's been an option presented to me. But to me, like you're saying, it's a lot of time out of your life and whatever. To me, the wishing well thing is like, well, at least that's a lot of time out of your life and whatever to me the wishing well thing is like well at least that's one less thing to do i don't have to go to fucking david jones i just turn up i get me wallet out i just chuck money at whoever i'm into

it for that reason because it is it is already a big commitment and by the way i always do the give the money thing i'd prefer to give the money than look for a gift. It's just that not – there should be a – An option to not give them anything. Just a durable option. Like give some more money, you know. You want to opt out. Because they're pretty much just going to give us cash. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I think it's weirder when like people will do it. I've seen people do it for like birthdays and stuff like that. Like when someone's having a party and they go, if you're going to get a gift, no thanks. I'm going overseas and I'd just like your money. It's like, eh, I'll be the judge of that, thanks. The wedding thing, they're showing you how financially irresponsible they are

on that day. My shoes cost me $1,500. Can't borrow $20 to put on a lay-by for a flight to Bali. No, you fucking shit. Stop wasting money on the lay-by for a flight to Bali. No. You fucking shit. Stop wasting money on the shoes and just get the flight. Yeah. Have you been asked to do any, like, comedy, anything at any friends' weddings or anything like that?

No. I've had people. It's from my website. I'm going to be the emcee at a wedding soon. Oh, really? Yes. Who's? A friend of the show?

A friend of the show? Will Anderson? No. Pete Sharkey? Oh, yeah, yeah. Nice. Wow. Yeah.

That is one of the biggest human errors I've ever heard of. Well, I was thinking... Both of those families are going to come together in their church to boo the MC. You got your wish, fuckhead. No, you know what? I was watching the MC last night going, and it calmed my jangled nerves. Yeah, you don't have to do much. I was watching it going,

I am not going to do as rotten a job as this guy. Are there any spots? How'd you get that? Yeah, I think that's the term. Are you doing a poster for it as well? Sorry, what were you saying, Cody? Wedding. You got a job at a wedding?

So I've had, in the last six months, three people contact me through my website wanting me to be the MC for their wedding. Go, hey, we saw you at this thing or we saw your festival show. We'd love to. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure. No, he's kidding.

He's kidding. When he's screaming veins in his neck, you fucking idiots. Don't do it. He's playing around.'s screaming veins in his neck. You fucking idiots. Don't do it. He's playing around. It'd be great. Yeah, I can see the potential in him to do the opposite of what he's doing at the moment. It's actually like the marriage itself.

It's like, no, I think I can change him. Because Dave Thornton said to me a little while ago, he was like, I think we were at something and he was hosting, he was emceeing a friend's wedding like the next day. And he said to me, oh, you know, you'll probably be getting to this point now where you're getting a little bit older and your friends start to get married and so they hit you up to emcee the wedding because it's like, and then it's like, oh, you'd be able to do it for free.

And yeah, you do comedy and you'll be able to come. I'm like, I think you're severely overestimating my friend's faith in my abilities. Like, I don't reckon I'm going to get ever asked to hold that. I just thought that my best childhood mate. You what, sorry? A mate that I've been friends with since we were four. I've just knocked him back. Oh, really?

Yeah. How come? Not paying enough? No, he was just saying, like, in in the future If you wanted to do it Would I do it And I was like No I can't do it Because you know him too well

Or No just because I cannot Like first It's mainly the pressure thing Like it would be Someone's biggest day ever Yeah You don't want that

I don't want that pressure on me Would you rather do it Like for someone Because I reckon it would be easy Doing it for someone That you don't know at all Someone who's just seen you And liked your stuff

And want you to do it It's weird Because everything I've said About thinking the whole day Is ridiculous Goes against what your stuff and want you to do it it's weird because everything I've said about thinking the whole day is ridiculous goes against what I'd be saying

there and then it just feels weird I got a year into starting stand-up I got given an MC gig at a wedding

and it was given to another comedian who does a lot of it was like an Indian wedding and there's a lot of ethnic based material and I don't do

any of that chop this out and just Chop this out. Tommy's just hitting his head. Thinking, I cannot believe I'm going to take two weeks to edit this. You're right. I bombed in front of 400 people.

Don't say the word bomb. You notice I haven't said a single one. I've been saving it. I've been saving the juice up. You get nervous when you see a bomb and when should the word bomb be? Yeah, no, you're right. I just felt like I ruined two people's special day because all of a sudden there was 10 minutes of all their guests

just staring at someone trying to be funny with clean material that he's never done before yeah yeah i couldn't do it for friends for that reason because you you know everyone a bit too well in the pressure i took the cash though yeah it made me feel better threw it back into the wishing well first big paid you took cash out of their wishing well yeah i did a a free gig uh emceeing a charity night uh and i'd been like sober for a whole month and i dedicated that day that i'm going to get drunk at this thing and it was like a a free gig emceeing a charity night and I'd been like sober for a whole month and I dedicated that day that I'm going to get drunk

at this thing and it was like a gig for it was for kids it was for disabled children and all this good wine and stuff but then I got there

after I'm just going to not say anymore everything that popped in your head yes yes it's a rolodex but this was about

200 people and they were all cashed up bogans, and at one point this one table, just one dude just kept yelling, Oi, Kuma! Oi, Kuma! And I was like, give me a bottle of wine, and he started drinking. I can't believe we haven't brought this up yet. You've kind of come up before on this show.

A few months ago there was a dude who wanted Chandler to do a gig in his backyard for his birthday that we were talking about. Yeah. And you were the person, you were the comedian that ended up doing it. Well, I remember listening to that episode, hearing you guys discuss, I think it was like Charlie Pickering and Hamilton as well? It was Pickering and Hamilton, yeah. So all of you talking about-

At this very table. Right. And you're talking about what's the minimum you would have accepted to go to a dude's house for his 30th birthday to do a gig in his backyard. And I'm listening to how you guys are just talking about what's the absolute minimum. And I'm listening going, I've fucking already done that gig not knowing it was paid.

I was like, yeah, someone wants me to do a thing on a Saturday night. I'm free. The champ was like, I would rather turn up to a show called This Nation is Very Talented and Bomb for Free. I'd rather spend 11 hours being abused

by a Spice Girl. Hey, look, at the end of it, the chick off the Coles had and Kyle got married. So, you know, that was... What a hopeless attempt at tying it all in together. And then they pissed all over a toilet at the wedding reception. Yay!

Hey, mate. Well, guys, that brings us to the end of Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Dale and Cody, thank you very much for joining us. Dale, have you got things coming up that you would like to plug? You're around Melbourne a lot doing gigs and such. I'm not doing weddings. No, nothing to plug. Look at our comedy festival next year on my Twitter,

at Dil Rook J. Yeah, cool. That's D-I-L for Cody, R-U-K-J. Yeah, I'd recommend people check you out if they're in Melbourne. You're on Chandler's rooms a little bit. You're very fun to stand up. I'm at Felix this week. I bet that just won't come out by then.

No. Yeah. By the way, thanks to everyone that, you know, I probably should have been mentioning a bit more before now, but, you know, the rooms that I run or help run, like Spleen on Mondays and Felix Bar on Wednesdays and Five Bars on Thursdays, had a lot of Dundon fans coming up while they've been in town

from interstate in that if they couldn't see a gig with me or you on, Tommy, they've just come to that room and got to see a bunch of people that have been on the show before and they've come and gotten to see me, introduced the MC, and that's about it.

For 20 minutes, yep. So, yeah, thanks for coming in and guys, yeah, there's always heaps of friends of the show on at those rooms, so keep coming. Yeah. there's always heaps of friends of the show on those rooms. So keep coming. Yeah. So am I officially a friend of the show now?

You are officially a friend of the show. You're always a friend of the show. I'm excited. You've had my heroes like Will Anderson. Shut the fuck up. Jesus Christ. Maren, Ben Lomas, like all the heroes. All the greats.

All the greats. Well, I can see you've modelled yourself after Lomus, so... No! No! Cody, have you got things coming up? Thanks to your special with the curry-nator. Yeah. Oh, it's funny when he says it.

NickCody.com.au, all the gigs doing, like, Queensland, all around Victoria New South Wales In the next few months Going to do some gigs For the troops Can't tell you where That's going to be cool

Oh sick Army Reserve When are you guys Army Reserve or not Army Reserve I don't know Scouts This will be up

In like two weeks time Nah Bad luck You miss me'll miss me. You'll miss me, America. Boo. And you've got your podcast, Something for the Drive Home, the excellent podcast.

It's been going great, guys. Yes. I've met a lot of Something for the Drive Home listeners in Tassie as well. Yeah. Yeah. I've got my show at the Butterfly Club, August 6th till 11th, which I think will still be happening or just about to happen when this goes up. Is that Pipsqueak?

Yeah, Pipsqueak. Thebutterflyclub.com and enter dumdum as a promotional code and you get a cheaper ticket for being a friend of the show. Come down, I'd love to see some friends

of the show there. We've still got t-shirts. We're sending out little badge packs that we just got done with the t-shirt orders now. littledumdumclub at gmail.com

It's a very good rendition of me and you when we turned 53 on there. We've got a lot of wrinkles I don't like Dassolo's very well-tailored facial hair.

Cal Chandler featuring Pitbull. If I could miss the worldwide, I'm like... I thought it was Cal Chandler and Ming the Merciless

from Flash Gordon. That's what it looks like. Well, guys, order a t-shirt and you can see, you can enjoy the visual element of this joke for yourself. And, guys, send us an email, send us a Facebook message. LittleDumbDumbClub at gmail.com is our email. It's been a while since we've had people hang shit on us and stuff over email.

It'd be good to get a bit more correspondence to read. It's been a while since we've had mailbags, so get in touch. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates!