The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 150 - Dave O'Neil & Danny McGinlay

Episode Date: August 7, 2013

Elvis Costello, D'Assalo and Melbourne Central Lion. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, Melbourne mates. I am doing my solo show, Pipsqueak, just for you guys at the Butterfly Club from August the 6th till the 11th. You should totally come down. It's such a fun show. I'm really looking forward to doing it. And just for you friends of the show, if you enter the promo code DUMDUM, two words when you check out, you will get a sweet discount on your ticket.

So come down. It's August the 6th till the 11th. It's at the Butterfly Club in Melbourne. For tickets and more details, you can go to thebutterflyclub.com or to my website, tommydassolo.com, and I'll see you there, mates. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us.

My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting next to me, the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day to you, Gerd. How have you been in the week since the last episode? In that we recorded one about 13 minutes ago and now we're doing another one. Straight here, not at either of our houses. Where could we be? Yeah.

Hey? We're in a weird place, actually. The person who owns this house he just showed me his rape dungeon out the back there's actually this really weird pit out there one of the worst stitch ups of all time

someone's been nice enough to let us come in here someone's been nice enough to show me their rape dungeon and now I've gone out and said it out loud. I'm sorry about that. It's called the murder room. Wow. Oh, sorry.

I picked the wrong crime. Sorry. You broke a sacred code. Someone shows you their rape room. You have the decency to not talk about it on a podcast. I'll accept Fritzl Pit. Yeah. Well, let's get into it.

The guests have dived in. We should introduce them. I haven't said much. Let's be honest. I actually went to a comics house the other night, and he does have a serious rape dungeon in his... Really? Well, he's got a nightclub in his basement.

Do you know who I'm talking about? I do know who you're talking about. Chris Bennett. He lives in suburban Greensboro. We've named more comics that aren't here than comics that are here at the moment. Yeah, that story was courtesy of Dave O'Neill. Welcome back into the little dum-dum club. Club myself.

And whoever could own the rape dungeon? It's Danny McGinley. Have you been to Chris Bennett's? No. He's a legendary comic. I've heard about it, but you tell your story and I'll tell mine straight after. Well, he lives in suburban Greensboro. Well, he said it was Greensboro.

It was, in fact, Watsonian North. I don't want to get technical. Hello. Anyway, so I go there. He goes, we're going to Bonny Doon for a great gig together. You are the king of the Zone 7. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am.

I'm big out there. And he goes, mate, come in and check out my nightclub. And it was a basement in a normal suburban house. And it's amazing. I'm not that impressed by some guy's built a rape dungeon. Has he got that because when he drugged girls in nightclubs and then they wake up at home, they think they haven't gone anywhere? He's done an amazing job, I have to say.

If he goes, come in, I'll put on the whole show. He's got a smoke machine. He's got lights. Then I woke up and my arse was sore. Whatever. He's not lights. Then I woke up and my ass was sore. Whatever. He's not into that. He's famous. He's kind of part of Melbourne comedy folklore because he lived out the back of a well-known

comedy club in Melbourne for quite some time. And he was quite big for a while. He got on all the TV shows. He was on commercial radio. He got on to a lot of stuff, I think. He drove his car into Chaser's nightclub. That's true. That's right. That's true story.asers nightclub That's true That's right

That's true That's right And he had like the most He had a state of the art Ford Falcon Fantastic Like 1961 Immaculate Remade

Immaculate yeah And he fell asleep at the wheel Because he'd been awake for two weeks Wow And woke up crashed into He shit all over Mark Watson's gig then That's it He just does 24 hours For real Wow. And woke up, crashed into... He shit all over Mark Watson's gig then. He just does 24 hours.

For real. One of the first gigs I did after I got engaged was with Chris Bennett, and I told him I got engaged, and he goes, Oh, do you love her? Yeah, I love her. He goes, Well, what you got to do, mate?

You got to go on the internet, find adultmatchmaker.com or something like that. You find another bloke, you go to a hotel room, and you another bloke, you fuck her like a slut. That's what she deserves. If you love her, that's what you'll do. What? Yeah, he gets into stuff like that. That could be an ad for matchmaker.com.

Danny, does your now wife know that story? Yes. Because she's asleep in the next room, and I dare say she would have heard it now. No, she's not asleep. There's a bloke in there as well. Oh. Come on, there's two in there.

It's love. Love anyway. Enough about Ben. I would have said enough about people having sex with Mick Inlay's wife, but anyway. I've already said enough about people having sex with McGinley's wife, but anyway. And can I also just clarify why I have a quote-unquote rape dungeon in my new house?

Anyone who saw my new show, Hypertonic, would have known about this. Yeah, we moved into this house just before Christmas. It has some interesting nooks and crannies. Yeah. The previous owners were clearly drug dealers. Like, there's a safe hidden under the kitchen cupboard. It is a bit Breaking Bad, isn't it? Yeah.

It really is. And there's a whole pit where they used to grow stuff in the backyard. Can we move this stuff and we can do a virtual tour of my backyard? Yeah, that would be pretty cool. We should have recorded this under your house. No, I had a look. I thought that would be a good idea. Yeah, and then I had a look and I don't think that would have been the thing to do.

Oh, I didn't get to have a look. Yeah, it was really cold. I've got to have a look at the end. We'll go record a coda out there look. I thought that would be a good idea. And then I had a look and I don't think that would have been the thing to do. It's really cold. Yeah, it's really cold. We'll go record a coda out there afterwards. How's that? We'll get a photo in there. Yeah. Good luck, guys. There's not much light.

And then there'll be like a ghostly image behind us. Yeah, I'll take it from upstairs. I'm not coming. Let me say I'm not coming. I'll be in a Benno's dungeon. I'm not going to another one. Everyone who comes in here Has asked

Have you shagged in there And stuff And I didn't ask that Everyone from That old matchmaker.com Asked that I'm keen

But the wife isn't There could be ghosts Which I suppose Is in the spirit Of the rape dungeon Yeah Sounds like all the cards Are in place Sounds like you've got Everything you need isn't it? There could be ghosts. Which I suppose is in the spirit of the rape dungeon. Yeah. There could be ghosts. Sounds like all the cards are in place.

Sounds like you've got everything you need. Yeah, you just drive your Ford Falcon down there and... Immaculate. I really want to see it now because I actually did think about that on the way here. I was like, I'm going to get to see the murder dungeon. Yeah. So do you ever go... You're not using it for storage?

You got anything in there or it's just too scary? No, but I did have a great idea just last night of what I could use it. I was at a house party in the backyard freezing. No. Apparently you can buy sauna heaters. Oh. Completely concrete. Oh, yeah.

I want to turn it into a sauna. Yes. Great idea. Everyone can come round. Sauna parties. I love it. So basically the same thing it was originally used for, but yeah. Yeah, No thanks.

It's just technicalities now. I'm quite into it when you go to a hotel or resort that has a sauna in it because to me it's such a weird thing to do. I don't think it's very good for you. You don't? I couldn't imagine that it's very good. It's supposed to be. It's supposed to be, but I can't imagine why.

I've been in one once. It could get that hot and then to go out into the water. Is that what you're meant to do? You're meant to... You're meant to get dipped in a pool there. Yeah, yeah. But I can't see it being that good. I don't know.

The constant changing of body temperature very quickly. Yeah. I can't see that being a good thing. I thought of Carl Chandler the other day. Whilst he was in bed at night. I was on matchmaker. Let's all have a guess what Dave was doing when he thought of Carl Chandler. Yeah, you won't guess. I was watching something. I was watching something with. Let's all have a guess what Dave was doing when he thought of Carl Chandler.

Yeah, you won't guess. I was watching something. I was watching something with one of my kids. Danny and his wife make love? I wouldn't show my child that. I watched that alone at night. I was watching the one-man Lord of the Rings show. Because I knew you were a big Lord of the Rings fan.

What a horrible segue. And also, there's one of you, so... He's out of his house, he's dressed as an orc. No. And his girlfriend is desperate to get that ring. Well said, man. He's done it. Well said. Nailed it.

And when you see my show, you think, this is about two hours too long. Well said. He's done it. Nailed it. And when you see my show, you think, this is about two hours too long. No, because I didn't want to go, but because my son loves Lord of the Rings, I went. Because I thought of the story that Carl Chandler told me about his father and the Elvis Costello concert. Tell everyone, this is a very poignant story, Tommy.

Could work driving his own podcast. I'm just thinking, have you heard this story before? I don't know that I have. No, what it is is I... This explains a lot about Carl, let me just say. This explains a lot. You know, father and son. I love it when these kinds of moments come out, yeah. Yeah, right, here we go.

Get your tissues ready, girls. Are you listening? Yeah, get your Cat Stevens song on. Get your Harry Chapin song on. Explains a lot, people will be going. What happened? I got into... I'm a massive fan of Elvis Costello.

Yeah, I love him too. You stalked him last time he was here. You turned up to ABC Radio when he was there. Elvis put him on his Facebook page and it was the other way around. Yeah, something like that. I was impressed by that. That's impressive. I always put him on his Facebook page and it was the other way around. Yeah, something like that. I was impressed by that.

That's impressive. Yeah. So I got into him and I saw a special on him on Rage and he was bringing a new album so I was promoting that new album and then that was when I was living in Meribah in my teenage years and 3CV,

you'd have all listened to 3CV as a kid. That's a local 3CV. It's 3 Central Victoria yeah I think I worked there and what's going on

with the black tractors pick up a bale of hay icy cold bale of hay that's very good icy cold

yeah yeah they didn't yeah it's like what's the mystery sound in the morning the sound of boredom the sound of Spicy cold. Yeah. Yeah, they didn't... Yeah, it's like, what's the mystery sound in the morning? The sound of boredom. The sound of youth killing themselves.

The sound of the train leaving the station. The sound of people wishing that we had cornflakes yet. But it has got an impressive railway station, Mary Burrows. It does. The Mark Twain quote. He said, what did he say? He said, it's a railway station with a town attached. That's very funny. Mark Twain went through.

Really? Yeah, Maryborough. Mark Twain did gigs in Melbourne and all around Victoria and Australia. It inspired him. It inspired him to write Huckleberry Friend because he was like, well, I'd rather do something than be in fucking Maryborough. Did he come out? He did the comedy festival, lost money.

He did the road show. Yeah, he got road show, though. I don't think he even did special. He got road show, though. He did one heat of raw, but got knocked out. He was too old. And now when people do it, they go, heaps of great people didn't even make it past their heat of raw. Mark Twain.

Died at the festival club, I heard. Had to go on after Rich Hall It was terrible Hello to the three people That are still listening That have made it Through all the in-jokes I knew one other thing

About Mark Twain That I could try and get He's very funny He was like the first stand-up He seriously Because he was in debt That's why he toured Australia Because he invented

A typewriter Or a printing press That didn't go well He was like 18 Yeah and he toured He. Because he invented a typewriter or a printing press that didn't go well. He toured Ballarat, Paran Town Hall. He did a

lot of town halls. You would have performed in some of the rooms that he's done.

He did ask to get on at Spleen. He hadn't been down to watch yet. He just

emailed you. Back then they didn't have YouTube so I couldn't see any of his work.

Getting back to the story. Elvis Costello, you're a big fan. Elvis Costello, sorry I'm enraged, but he had an album coming out. The competition on 3CV was to win his new album and tickets to his show. I was like, great. So I sent an entry in.

I won. I believe in hindsight I was probably the only person that was entering an Elvis Costello competition in Maribor. Elvis Farmers, yeah. I'm going to go see that bloke who sang Too Low for Zero. What else did he do? Pump it up. That's a good one.

Yeah. So I won it, got the tickets, went great, got into the album, started getting into the music. And it was at the tennis centres back in the day where old Elvis could do the Rod Laver. How old were you, I reckon? How old was I? Yeah, 15? I think 16 16 yeah

So I got to the day Of the concert And you know Dad was going to Drive me down to Melbourne To go to Rod Laver And went

Yeah I'd rather not And I was like Really? Because I'd be really keen to You know Like I've really been Looking forward to

I got these tickets He's like How about if we just Don't do it instead How about if That's the't do it instead how about if that's the saddest story you've ever heard the pieces of Carl's I know

yeah yeah yeah it's usually all coming together those tickets the like the ticker tech tickets or I think they were bass I'll probably probably bass

yeah bass they sat on our family fridge for I reckon 10 years oh as a constant reminder that's the end of the story

no no no well the thing was dad was like oh look you know you'll go to him next time like I'll bring you to him next

time I just can't be bothered going down he didn't tour Australia for another 15 years wow and he came out

what last year and did you put that out no no he came out a little bit like a little while Cal could drive himself now

yeah but I also know Cal's quite vindictive No, no, he came out a little while ago. Carl could drive himself now. Yeah. Yeah, but I also know Carl's quite vindictive. He would have paid that. The worst thing was I had to drive back to Maribor to pick up those tickets to see if they were still valid. So your dad wasn't sick or...? No, no, no, didn't even try it on. Just went, nah, nah.

And there's no... You couldn't get like a train or anything? It was literally on the day. There's no train from Maribor to... But you told him about it. He knew it was coming up. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. No, he was very well aware. Like, he'd said yes at some stage. How old would he have been? I wasn't on the day going, can we just go down the big smoke? He's probably like my age. Probably.

Nah, he's older than you. You sound actually rather impressed by old man Chandler's ways. No, I think that's terrible. That's why I sat through the fucking Lord of the Rings show. I don't want my son telling a story 20 years later about how Dad didn't take me to Lord of the Rings. You didn't want your son to end up like Chandler.

Yeah, that's right. That's exactly right. That's fair. That says a lot about... I mean, a lot of parents would kill to be able to look into their child's future and just know

what consequences their actions are going to have and you get the rare benefit of being able to do that. So your dad would never do that to you. I've met your dad. He wouldn't do that. No, my dad bought me along

to see gigs of yours back in the day. In the radios. I just want to go back to this very quickly because in this story, you're making yourself sound very reasonable and even-handed. For a 16-year-old who's just had his dreams destroyed, I reckon there would have been a lot of, I hate you, I'm adopted, I'm running away.

No, you know what? You didn't do that? No, it was a thing Because I think I was a bit annoyed Just going Are you serious Like But

The worst thing was I'd only had Like one album I'd got his album After that I then collected Every one of his albums Oh okay

Became an obsessed fan And then went Oh That would have been nice To have seen him live And he just He just stayed away From Australia for so long

He did for a long time. He was hurt that you weren't there. Yeah, just to really rub it in. 3CV fan was a big fan. He said, as long as Robert Chandler is still living in Australia, I will not return. It's like Homer banning Bart from seeing the Itchy and Scratchy

movie to teach him a lesson. Your dad's gotten onto Elvis Costello's management and gone, really need to make sure this kid turns out a certain way. There was a thing where every time I'd see him and anything would happen I'd get a new album, I'd go, he would have been good to see, wouldn't he, Dad? Would have been great to see these songs that came

out five years after that gig. Would Dad have to go into the concert with you? I had two tickets. I had two tickets. I would have had one of those signs like, you know, like in The Simpsons or whatever.

It was like, how many days since the last accident? Every time I'd come home it would be like, six years since I haven't seen Elvis Costello.

How old are your dad when he was in his 50s then, you reckon? Oh, then? Oh, no. 40s? No, yeah, you're right, 40s.

Yeah, he would have been probably mid-40s. Yeah, early 40s. Which is weird because I would have thought would he, you would have thought he would have had an interest in, he would have been aware of it a little. Did he like music?

No, no, no, no, no. He didn't know. He doesn't, yeah, no. He's not up to date. He wasn't up to date then. Was he a farmer of some sort? No. Did he have to get up early?

He was a retailer, wasn't he? No, he ran booze juice. First booze juice. No, he didn't. He invented Subway. He invented Subway. That'd be good. What shop did he run again?

Many shops. Many shops. Delicatessens, coffee shops, things like that. What was your favourite? My favourite? Man, we just covered this the other week. Yeah. All right, what was your least favourite?

Yeah, we covered that the other week. Yeah, we didn't go into that, did we? No, we did. Oh, yeah, we did. Yeah, the reject shop. The reject shop. He owned a reject shop? Yeah, but it was like a reject reject shop.

It wasn't the name brand. Did he just make it so easy for the other kids to tease you at school? Exactly. Yeah, wow. Your dad's a shit person. Your dad found you in the reject shop. He's actually a decent bloke. Well, apart from that little glitch, and I mean every parent has glitches.

I had a great time with him at that concert that night. Danny was at it. Danny was at the show not me me and Danny went your dad didn't even turn up man I wish I hope I still

have those tickets I reckon I probably do yeah that is fantastic unripped because they'll be like honestly 91

I reckon it's 91 yeah I might have gone. I went in 82 to see him because my brother, I was at high school in 82. My brother was a big fan. He had an extra ticket, and so he reluctantly dragged me along. It was fantastic. In hot, look, I can't complain too much. It was just that thing where for 10, 12, whatever it was years,

and we didn't come out. I've since seen him, I reckon, 10 times. Yeah, yeah. So I've made up for it. Have you, because you've met him and got that photo with him, did you... I've got a couple of photos with him. Have you told him that story? No, no.

I reckon that's a good... But he's a fanboy. He's a friend of the show, so he... Yeah, technically he's a friend of the show now, yeah. Does your partner get... Does she go along with you and get embarrassed when you go and try and talk to them? Uh, no. She doesn't go along?

No. No, you know what? I bought her a ticket last time and she... Left halfway. No, no, no. And then didn't go long? No. No, you know what? I bought her a ticket last time. That's halfway. No, no, no. And then didn't take her? At the last minute you were like, nah, can't be bothered. Driving a Rod Laverina.

It's five minutes away. Yeah. It's complete. I got my dad to come instead. I wish this was 91 again, Dad. Let's make my life right. I just thought of something. This might be naive.

Was there a slight chance your dad thought you had tickets for Elvis Presley? No. Oh, yeah. And then on the day he's gone, oh, it's that one.

How long have you had these tickets for? Abbott and Costello. You need it next time. You need to get those tickets and get him to sign that ticket. That's awesome.

I'm ripped. Do you find it embarrassing that talking to... My wife finds it very embarrassing next time you need to get those tickets and get him to sign that ticket that's awesome yeah i'm ripped do you find it embarrassing they're talking to my wife finds it very embarrassing when i go up to talk to rock stars right because i've got no embarrassment factor i'll just go straight into them yeah you don't find it oh well you know what i took her along and i we had dinner before the show last time and you and i we Elvis. No. We saw the backing band walk down the street who were being... Is it any of the original members?

Yeah, yeah. All of them except for one. Is it Steve on the bass? Yeah, Steve Naive. Steve Naive, yeah. Pete Thomas on the... The Skins. And did your wife go,

don't talk to them? Don't talk, don't talk to them. She was just like, why are you talking to those old men? They're legends. Yeah, yeah, exactly. One of them to be my father. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to see the National next weekend. Oh, exactly. One of them to be my father.

I'm going to see the national next weekend. Oh, yeah. I'm doing Splendour in the Grass, man. Oh, yeah, you're doing a gig with

Julian Assange, aren't you? Oh, is he on? Are you doing that thing, Danny Licks? Yeah, yeah. He's running.

Julian Assange, he's on at that gig. Yeah, he is. He's my supporter. He is. He technically is. He's on Skype.

He's on Skype. I'm not taking my laptop. He's going to get me secrets. He's my supporter. He is. He technically is. He's on Skype. I'm not taking my laptop. He's going to get me secrets. He's going to reveal the secret that you were really about fourth all-time appearances on Spics and Specs. You're not second at all. A lot of them you didn't turn up to. He'll get all the Facebook. He'll get all my Funhouse line up.

He'll fucking tell everyone he's up at the Funhouse. That's hilarious. Assange's observational comedy is pretty limited. Have you noticed when you're in an Ecuadorian embassy? You know the thing about cabin fever is... I want to go before him. I don't want to follow Assange. But it's Skype, isn't it?

It's on Skype, yeah. So as long as you're there, you'll be. Far out. That'd be good if you did your gig via Skype from Fitzroy. But that'd be great because Assange, like, if you're on after him, you can, like, you get the beautiful thing of getting to kind of rip him, but he's not there to get cut. It's perfect.

So, yeah, yeah, good one. What do you think of Blondie? Oh, the Eucadorian boy. Yeah. That's all I got. Anyway. Oh, WikiLeak. Yay.

Hey, you'll enjoy this. So a slight change of... Enough about you and your father relationship. It's quite sad. Enough about my tragic childhood. Explains a lot. Yeah. This, now sometimes, you know,

sometimes you've got to, doing the podcast every week, you've got to think, you'll know what it's like on breakfast radio. You've got to scour your life and hope something happens during the week or think of something that could happen or whatever it is. Then sometimes things just beautifully just happen and fall into your lap. What happened?

Almost sometimes on the way to a podcast. You think, well, I don't have to do anything now because I've got this. What happened? I received an email from a producer of a television show, of a new television show. Wow. That's not happening yet. And, you know, the channel, let's say, look, I won't name the channel,

but it could be. Hypothetically. Hypothetically. 31. Any of the ethnic-based television channels that are on Australian free-to-air at the moment. There's a lot of them. And it could be anyone because, you know, there's SBS1 and there's SBS2.

So, you know, I haven't named it. It could be any of them. Yep, yep. And they said, I get a few of these emails where some people presume that I know everyone in stand-up and they look for my advice. Well, you do. And they look for maybe for me to do their job for them for free. Why couldn't they contact the famous Italian comic, Tommy Dasolato?

Let's get to that. Let's get to that. Here we go. Let's get to that. Here we go. The question was, now we're about to do a stand-up, we want to do a stand-up TV show with all, let's say, the colours of the rainbow.

They're doing an ethnic stand-up show. Because it's an ethnic stand-up show. What about the white guy? Yeah. The four of us here. When are we ever going to get a chance? So they said, look, we're scouting for people with different backgrounds and whatever. We need some information about people.

So they said, look, if you know any, you can tell us. That would be great. We've already got a list. Here it is. And blow me down if on the list wasn't one of Italy's finest. Little Thomas. Thomas. D apostrophe.

Arcelor. Yes. You should do it. I'll correct you here. First of all, yes, I will do it, because that's what you're asking. Do it. Now, you're saying people of different backgrounds. I think cancer's a pretty different background.

Having had cancer, that's different to your average person's background. That's like Tropic of Cancer. That's not a country. That's not actually a location. One twelfth of people are cancer. There's Liberans, Secretarians. That's a different special, man. What sort of accent do you have having cancer?

I have to say, very soft. Yeah, okay, I haven't heard anything about this. It's weird that you're hearing about me being on a list before I'm hearing about it. It was just a list. Are you going to out me is what I would like to ask you. No, don't out him. Put him in real deep. Put him in real deep.

Yeah. Just say Tommy Daslow is a very good Italian comic. He comes on with a handkerchief on his head. And he's like a stereotype, but he's like postmodern stereotype. So he's not like Nick Gianopolis. He's like a modern take on it. I'd like to see how far in this thing I could potentially go. Yeah, do it.

Without lying, without outwardly saying anything. Just the presumption of based on the name. You could be Italian. You could look a little bit Italian. I could be Italian. I could be fucking anything. You could be northern Italian. Yeah.

I might be for all I know. I've never looked into it. I'm going to get on Ancestry.com right now. How good are you at the accordion? I could pick it up. I used to play bass guitar. I presume it's very similar to that. But accordion's an instrument where I think you can get away with a lot

without being good at it at all. Because even good accordion sounds pretty shit. In your opinion, should faces be shut up or not shut up? What's the matter you... Hey, you've got no respect. Sorry, Chandler, I didn't hear that last question. I was too busy cooking up a batch of Mama's Famous Meatballs. Well, we look forward to seeing that.

Who else is... Man, what can I change my name to? Carl Chandlinio or something. Who else is on that list? Nick Kodiop name to? Carl Chan-lin-yo or something. Who else is on that list? Nick Codyopolis. Who? Nick Codyopolis. Codyopolis, he's very good.

Carl Chan-sun. Yeah. North Korean comedian. One-liner guy. A bit harder to get away with. Yeah, yeah. There's going to be some very clunky comedians on this show, I think. I think the jig is going to be up a lot quicker on that one.

It's quite hard to actually make a North Korean name without going the full Mino right. You could surely be... Luke McGregorissimo. You could be Eastern European, surely. Ronnie Chang? Who else is on the list? Who else is on their list?

Who have I got to beat out for this gig? Well, there'd be Ronnie Chang. There'd be... Yeah. Dulrock? Is Dulrock on the list? Put him on there. You can suggest him. I don't think... Yeah, I've started making a'd be... Yeah. Doolrock? Is Doolrock on the list? Put him on there. You can suggest him.

I don't think... Yeah, I've started making a list of other people. Great. Chuck, if you... Don't fuck this for me! I need this! And how ethnic do you have to be? I could argue...

To be honest, I have already told them that you're not ethnic, but I also have tried to get you deported in the same way. You're Irish, aren't you, Danny? Exactly, yeah. I dare say my people have been in this country a lot less than most people. To be honest, from the way they talked, there's obviously no hard and fast rule. They're

tiptoeing about it, because obviously there's no rule where it's like, this is the degree of ethnicity you need to tell jokes on this show. Danny, why don't you fuck off and stop trying to get on my show? You're fucking Irish, you come over here taking jobs away from the hard-working Italian man. You blew up both our cars

and phoned ahead. Well, I look forward to doing this gig and being able to talk about it on the show. To be clear, I'm not the producer on it. I can't just lock you in right now. I must have tuned out a little bit to the start of that. Tommy's a stand-up show, yeah.

Hello, everybody. Yeah, if they ask my show this year... A couple of days. Well, you know, he wasn't... Yeah, Con the Fruit or was it? It's really a good... Yeah. Yeah.

If they ask my show this year, it wasn't about my great-grandpa inventing Vegemite. It was about him inventing tiramisu. So it really helped me out and pushed this one through. What was that called instead of spread? That would have been called... Yum. Yum. Mascarpone.

We talked last, not the last time, maybe the time before Danny McGinley was on the show, about I went to his wedding, as everyone did that booked a room in Australia. Since that episode, you've gotten divorced, so terribly sorry to hear that. But you've gotten a lot of gigs, so, you know, swings and roundabouts. You were all, just so it doesn't sound awkward, you were all at my bucks. Oh, yeah, I was there.

Oh, were you there? Oh, I don't recognise you with your clothes on. Dave O'Neill was the stripper. Dave O'Neill was the stripper in that story. crap stripper. Dave O'Neill was the stripper in that story. He came out and said, actually, I'm the comedian for the evening.

There's many stuff up, so let's get it started. Oh, Katie Lang's the stripper. Okay, right. Katie Lang, I was there

very briefly. Yeah, me and Brad Oaks had to go do a gig in Lickin' Gatha. Funny that. That's right. Another Area 7 gig.

Yeah, nice, nice people. Yeah. Why are you bringing up I'm bringing that up because Funny that. Another Area 7 gig. Nice, though. Nice people. Why are you bringing up my marital status? I'm just checking to see if you're watching. She's here. We can go. He's interested in weddings.

You know that. No, no, no. He's quite keen. Gee whiz. Can't wait to your wedding. It'll be awesome. Yeah. So what happened was...

It'll be like Carl finally getting to see Elvis Costello. I think my girlfriend's had the tickets to that thing on her fridge for a while. The ring is stuck on the fridge. Nah, I can't be bothered tonight. I'll marry you some other time. The more we talk about this event on this, the more I enjoy it. It's great. So, a couple of weeks ago, what happened was I was out

drinking with another comic, another young comic called John Campbell. Cambo? Cambo. John Cambo Cambo. He's originally from Tasmania. Yes. Have we got all the background now writing for this week's live? I think we can talk about it now. We went for a beer and

I said, where should we go? Where should we go? And he said, how about this pub over here because it's really shit. I'm like, you're not selling it. He's like, no, no, it's really shit so it'll be funny because of how shit it is. It'll just be full of fuckheads. It'll be funny. And I'm like, all right. So then we go there.

It's not full of anything entertaining. It's just shit. So we're just sitting there having a beer in this shit pub that we've gone to on purpose because it's shit. And then're just sitting there having a beer in this shit pub that we've gone to on purpose because it's shit. And then who walks in fully suited up? It's Danny McGinley on his first wedding anniversary. No, for dinner. And he's brought his wife out to this shittest pub going around in Melbourne.

The place that has the theme of the pub as this is a shit one, guys. Come in here. It's going to be shit. Was the food good? No, we didn't go there to eat. It was a drink. It was just to have a drink. And we were staying in a hotel.

We got a hotel room. It was romantic. But yeah, it was a Sunday night. There wasn't much to do. So we were going to go into town. And I knew that this shit pub had Buck Hunter, which is one of me and my wife's favourite things. Oh, that game.

Yeah, where you shoot. And you had your Carl Chandler finder app on your phone. He's in the shit pub. No. Yeah. It's like Grindr if you want to have a bitch. Chandler. You're like a Grindr.

It's the Chandler app. Where is he? No, you know what it was? Because you weren't at home, you were missing the comforts of home. There was no rape dungeon where you were, so you found the closest thing. Melbourne Central Pub. Yeah, that genuinely was, bumping into you was pretty humiliating. Yeah, can we name the pub?

Melbourne Central. Oh, the Melbourne Central Lion? Yeah. Oh, that's a pretty shit pub. Oh, the one in the, I've done a gig there. It was a Jeff Phillips one. How are you going? I've been there to hang out.

I've done what Cambo suggests. I've gone there to hang out based on how shit it was because there used to be just a, like, on a weekend night. Were you, like, a Saturday night? Sunday night. There's a lot of, like, when there's a DJ playing, there's a lot of disgusting people up on the stage dancing. So if you're wanting to kill time, it's a lot of disgusting people up on the stage dancing.

So if you're wanting to kill time, it's a good spot to just sit and people watch. It's open a lot later than a lot of other bars. Let's go there now, guys. This sounds awesome. Let's go to Melbourne Central. Wake your wife up. Come on, let's go. I think it's so weird.

It's one of those weird places like a bar or a restaurant in a shopping centre that's then got an outside bit, but you're just in the shopping centre. Like, that's... And that's where we hung out. It's like Vegas. It's like going to the Venetian casino in a way. It's a little bit. I'm not sure... It's not good.

At a pinch, I would compare the Venetian to the Melbourne Central line. Yeah, I think I did it with you actually, Daniel. It was just terrible, that gig. Yeah. So, where did you go for the rest of the one year? Hopefully, it improved from... Mind your own geek. Yeah. So where did you go for the rest of the one year? Hopefully it improved from... Mind your own business. Okay.

Yeah, no, we did well. We went to some nice Italian place and then, yeah, went out. I know all about that. My house. Yeah. Faster, faster. Where did you go on your honeymoon, Dave O'Neill? I'm not married.

Oh, that's right. I thought you said your wife. Yeah, I know, but we've not married. Oh, that's right. You always say your wife. Yeah, I know, but we've been together too long now that we can't... You're my model. Yeah, I'm your role model, man. There's a lot of us out there. So you're going to have three kids. You don't have to get married, you know what I mean?

Don't, Dave. This is not fun. I'm going to put these quotes on my festival poster. You don't have to get married. It depends. My wife was never that into it. So, I don't know. Your girlfriend might be into it.

Very similar thoughts. His girlfriend is more into it than my now wife was. Yeah. We just did it because we wanted to have a party. And we knew we were going to stay together. So, we threw a big party. We were going to get through it. For all the promoters.

Yeah. It was just a, what do you call it? It was just like an expo. Really? A trade fair. A trade fair, yeah. So you wouldn't do it now?

You think you've got... Nah, look, nah, because we're too old. We look shit in the photos, I reckon. We look alright, but I look terrible, so... You could do it as a special episode

of Tractor Monkeys. Yeah. Oh, that's a great show. That's back, apparently. I've heard that's back. It's on the ABC soon. What if they pitched a reality show, Dave's Getting Married? No, my wife wouldn't like it, but I'd be into it.

You'd say yes. I'd say yes, of course. I'd say yes. You'd just hire someone to play your wife? Yeah. Well, I've been asked to do some ridiculous shows. I got asked. No, everything involving some ridiculous shows. I got asked. No, everything involving fat, basically.

I got excess baggage, get fit, get fat, what was it called? Get thin, get fat. Get thin, get fat. Is that where you start fat, you then become skinny, and then get fat again? No, it was a pretty show. I don't know if they ever did it here, but I've seen it on cable where they have a really thin person

living in a house with a really fat person. Oh, supers sized versus super skinny yeah yeah that's it I think you just watched an old Laurel and Hardy great show and what was the other one

I got asked to do dance your ass off yeah Oprah Oprah Celebrity Fat Camp I got asked to do that did that happen

was that a show yeah they went and filmed it in Thailand because Merv Hughes was in it. Oh, that's right. And the fat guy from Idol, Anthony Sambadi, used to cry all the time about his dad. He'd take him to the Elvis Costello.

Which is no worse because his dad was a cab driver and he was going out anyway. That would have been really funny topical. Yeah, I liked that. I was working in Breakfast Radio that time. At Melbourne Central that would have gone off

you should have done excess baggage seeing you in excess baggage would have been awesome I could have

been there with that bloke who was stuck down the mine he was in it Elliot was talking about how he was

asked to be on that asked to be the host but he was in fact asked to be the host

he would get the same phone calls that I get. If he's a bit fat, you get the same. Any of those fat ones. I think you've lost weight, Dave. I have, yeah. Good work. I'm dying.

Thought I'd announce it on the Dub Dub Club. Fair enough. Cute to benefit. No, no, no, no. Yeah, I'm still fat, though. Don't worry. I'm still fat. Yeah, if you lose a few more, you'll be able to fit in the rape dungeon.

Oh! Jesus Christ. Squeeze down there. Yeah, there's something to aim for. It rubs the lotion on its skin, Dave. I did a gig with Tim O'Maddock the other night. Oh, yeah? Oh, my mate.

Do you know him? We've... How do you know him? We've been in the same room. Really? Why were you in the same room? I didn't know who he was. Carl actually proposed to him.

He might be a judge on a TV show that may have been mentioned on this show. Oh, Charles Candler. Charlie Candler may have been on a show. Oh, not Australia's Got Talent. No, no. Australia's Got Alent. I don't know what that was. Is he a judge on that now?

Who knows? Who knows? Is he? I don't know what's happening anymore. Anyway, I on that now? Who knows? Who knows? Is he? I don't know what's happening anymore. Anyway, I was doing some... I was doing a war stuff with him, and he comes out, and it's all, you know, for a count. Was he a valet, or what was he doing?

No, he was singing. Singing. Was he doing one-liners? About mini-golf? I don't even get that. I don't even get that. I don't even understand that. He's stolen Carl's material from Australia's Got Talent. About Monopoly.

That's a closer. Ripe gag. He goes, can I ask you a question? He goes to the audience. Oh, was he Irish? Tim Ormatic. It's Tim Or he Irish? Tim-o-matic. It's Tim-o-matic. Timmy-o-matic.

He's on the new SBS show. And then he goes again, can I ask you a question? I thought, you fucking just asked us a question by asking us, can you ask us a question? And his question was, do you want to party tonight? Oh, hang on. I thought this was a one-on-one conversation with you. Imagine if he did that to every audience member. Can I ask you a question?

He needs clearance from everyone before he can start the gig. I'm keen for him to have said that to O'Neill. If I was a musical comedian, I would love to do a song which is an R&B number called Don't Use Party As A Verb right yeah

that annoys me you don't need to write a song about that you can just say that to people I could actually you can just do yeah doing your stand up but yeah

if I was a prop comedian I could probably stretch that out for four or five minutes you'd have a disco ball yeah Dave what I want to know is are you are you ready to party tonight yeah If I was a prop comedian, I could probably stretch that out for four or five minutes. You'd have a disco ball. Dave, what I want to know is, are you ready to party tonight? Yeah, I'm ready to party. You put the kids in bed.

Everybody make some noise. I just thought, I was learning tips off this guy. I'm going to do this at my next gig. I'm going to ask all these questions. Yeah. Come on, make some noise. I'm surprised Tim O'Maddock would go out to Leon Gaffer to do this gig. It was in Sydney, I think.

Yeah, it was in Sydney, yeah. That is a long way out of Melbourne, so that's technically... Yeah, Link, that's fine. That's fine for you, yeah. Oh, I get around. One of the worst musical acts I ever saw was Ja Rule. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Ja Rule.

Yeah, you know Ja Rule. Recognise, Murder, Inc. But he... You know when singers get the crowd to sing certain lines in a song? Yeah, yeah. He was doing that, but he was rapping? That's too hard. And it was like...

So every half sentence he would pause for five seconds. And I didn't even know the songs. Yeah. So there was a lot of like, All my bitches in here gonna yeah yeah yeah it was terrible it's very lazy why were you watching Ja Rule?

why did your dad not take you? you're broken because your dad did take you to that one yeah yeah I hate my dad for that dad was annoyed he wasn't doing traditional Irish numbers I hate my dad for that. Dad was annoyed he wasn't doing traditional Irish numbers. I thought he was going to see the Cores or the Furies. Have you seen the Cores?

Have you seen the... No, no. Are the Cores still around? Yeah, they must be. They'd still be touring. They were very good-looking ladies. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen, that guy Phil Jupitus. I went and saw him once. He toured Australia. You know Phil Jupitus. He went and saw him once. He's toot Australian.

You know Phil Jupitus? He's on Buzzcocks. The big bloke. The big guy. And he talks about the cause and he says, you know there's a guy in the... He's not Irish, is he? He's British.

No, he's English. You know there's a guy in the cause? He goes, no one looks at the guy. They do though. He could be fucking a goat up there. The girls are nice, aren't they? Anyway, that's his stand up. I do that regularly.

No one knows Phil Jupiter's. Well, you can chop up your mic here with 50 bucks and go see Dave do that gear. It is his gig. Timo Maddox is going to do a dance and then you're going to do some Phil Jupiter's gear. It's on in Chris Bennett's basement. My dad's not taking me.

All right. Well, guys, that's just about all the time we have for... The in-laws' wives just walked in the room. Oh, hello. Hey, say something so people know you exist. That was me, actually. That was from the internet that's recorded. See you in the dungeon.

Benno's coming. Dave O'Neill, Tractor Monkeys is coming. Tractor Monkeys, Wednesday nights on ABC. Yeah, great. Yeah, yeah. You'll all be on it.

Oh, awesome. I'm looking after my friends. I'll have to see if I can fit it in around my busy SBS shooting schedule. Well, I do love an ethnic face on the ABC too. Yeah.

Danny? I think they'd be pretty keen on ethnic faces just watching ABC2. Anyone. Yeah, I'm appearing on lots of non-ABC2 shows. DannyMcGinlay.com will tell you where my gigs are. Cool. Nothing too exciting.

Sweet. If anyone wants to book him, you know, wait for the next wedding. Next wedding. And you can also hear me in the coda of this podcast me and Tommy are going to go out into the

oh yes good luck with that I'm not coming I've got my show I think it'll be by the time we put this up there'll be a couple left

thebutterflyclub.com enter dumdum when you check out you're going to get a cheaper ticket what show is that my show Pipsqueak August 6-11

to the Butterfly Club come and see that is that your favourite show of yours that you've done? Yeah. I always thought that it should have been, given the content of the show, it should have been called Pipsqueak. I think it should have been called Tommy Daslow meets Jack the Dancer. Yeah, you've said that to me.

Have I? When I first told you I was going to do a show about that, we were driving up to Canberra to do that gig, and then you said that, and then there was an hour of us brainstorming a poster where it's me just like fox trotting with a guy dressed up as the Grim Reaper.

You've got to know that yeah but I had a concept Jack the Dancer people won't know that it's cancer. Yeah I thought it was very funny and I told that to a lot of people

like what the fuck's that even mean? It's rhyming saying. Yeah. No I know that now. So go see Tommy's new show Cancer. Send us an email littledumbdumbclub at gmail.com.

We've got the t-shirts and badges and stuff that you can order from us. Details might be up by then, but I'm going to go and do a one-off show in Perth in October. I'm going to MC Pete Sharkey's wedding. You can't get tickets to that. But when you can get tickets to a couple of days before, I'm going to do a one-off solo show there. Yeah, cool. Can I point out, whenever I listen to an episode of the Dumb Dumb Club and you guys start plugging things and I figure,

oh, it's finishing up soon, but then I'll look up and there'll be like three minutes to go. I get quite angry. So now I'm doing this to my future self. But there's a lot of people pointing at their iPods going, yes, fucking stop. Well, let's put like a juicy little Easter egg in there to make it worthwhile. I'm gay, everyone.

That was worth hanging out for. Is that why you can't get married? Yeah. That's what I'm really putting off because I'm so not attracted to it. People are looking at their iPods now and there's 25 minutes left after this point. Getting very confused. I'm really gay. And here's the people I've done it with.

Cliffhanger for next week. Yeah, cliffhanger, cliffhanger. It sounded like you were all really disgusted as if you said these are all the guys who've done it and you held up photos.

Here's us mid-coitus. No, I was just pointing at all of you. Nick Gianopoulos. Alright, well that's all the time we have for this week. Thanks very much for listening pointing at all of you. Whoa. Nick Gianopoulos. All right, well, that's all the time we have for this week. Thanks very much for

listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.