The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 164 - Hamish Blake

Episode Date: November 26, 2013

Jazzy Secrets, Red Envelopes and Arancini.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, thanks to everyone who came down to our live third birthday show recently in Melbourne. It was a great time and if you want to hear it, you can hear it right now through our bandcamp site, thelittledumbdumbclub.bandcamp.com. Carl, who was there? Who are they going to hear if they get this episode? On our third birthday show, who did we have? We had Michelle Laurie, we had Adam Richard, we had a little bloke you may know called Luca McGregor, we had a very special other you may know called Luca McGregor. Yes. We had a very special other little musical guest as well.

We had Josh Earle doing the Rad Dad theme live, and we did a live rendition of Rad Dad. It was the most guests we've ever had in a Rad Dad. It was something of a Rad Dad epic adventure. That's it. So, yeah, thelittledumbdumbclub.bandcamp.com. If you go on there, you can get it for free if you want Or you can pay for it

It's your little chance if you didn't come along If you came along, sure, grab it for free If you didn't come along, hey, it's your chance to kick in And chuck us a little something Something to, you know Make it worth our while to keep chucking up these episodes We don't ask for much Yeah, last time we did this

A lot of people were very, very generous Some, last time we did this, a lot of people were very, very generous. Some people gave us like, you know, a lot of people, you know, fives and tens, and then a couple of you freaks gave us like a hundred bucks, and I'm not making that up. And that's awesome. So yeah, if you feel like giving in a little bit, that would be amazing, and we'd really appreciate it. It's a really fun episode. You're going to enjoy listening to it.

So yeah, one more time, thelittledumbdumbclub.bandcamp.com Or just through our website littledumbdumbclub.com And Adelaide, as your last reminder Hey, I'm doing Carl Chandler Has literally 1.5 million jokes It's an hour of my stand-up From this year's festivals

It's my turn to take it to Adelaide And do a one-off show On Tuesday, December 3rd At 7pm at the Crown and Anchor Hotel. Again, you can get the tickets on our new Spanking Great website. It's not a website about spanking, it's just spanking new, sorry. But go and grab your tickets from there and I'll be in Adelaide for like one day. So hey, it'll be awesome to see as many Adelaide friends of the show as you can fit into this

venue and we'll have a drink afterwards. Cool. Okay, enjoy the episode with Hamish Blake, and we'll see you soon. See you, mates. Hey, mates. Welcome once again to the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Thank you very much for joining us.

Sitting next to me is the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. We need to say a quick thank you to everyone who came down last night to the third birthday show at Five Burrows Comedy. It was an awesome time. Sweet time. Lovely to meet people after the show. People from interstate.

Yeah. Yeah, some travellers. One guy came up to me after the show and said, hey, that was great. I listened to the podcast. And he goes, hey, I think I might have been sitting right near your girlfriend because when you told that Kmart story, this girl near me started laughing. And I was like, oh, that must be Tommy's girlfriend.

Just because someone started laughing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no other good reason for anyone to be laughing at what we say. But he was like, yeah, yeah, I reckon that was her. I'm like, oh, cool. And then I saw my girlfriend a few minutes later. I'm like, oh, some guy just came up and he reckons he was sitting next to you because you were laughing near the Kmart story.

And she goes, that wasn't me. Bad reviews from my girlfriend. Right. Well, I was just going to quickly say, do you ever – do you watch shows together with your girlfriend? Yes. You were into The Wire. You were into – what was it?

The Shield. Yep. Stuff like that. Are they girlfriend shows for you? The Shield was. The Wire, I don't reckon I'm going to – I've watched it, but I'm not going to try and watch it with her because it'll be too many questions to answer. Sure.

Well, I'm on the hunt because I watch those serials with my girlfriend. We've got to have a show together to watch in bed together late at night. So, you know, we had night um so you know we had friday night lights great show yep we had breaking bad great show so at the moment i'm like right we need something what's the next one gonna be that's suitable for me and my girlfriend she walked in uh like two days ago with a with a dvd going i've got it this is it we're gonna watch it the sopranos i'm like all right that's cool I've never seen it. Great. She goes, there you go. Gives it to me.

Season four. I went, what are you going to – what do you mean? She goes, well, you've got to start somewhere. Yeah, yeah, at the start. That's why it's called The Start. That's incredible because I have that with some shows. You sort of think, you know what, I'll just get in midway through. Some people go, just leave Parks and Recreation.

Don't worry about the first season. Just dive in. I sort of understand the logic in a way. Well, I won't give a shout out to my girlfriend at the moment because she's obviously going to start tuning into this episode 35 minutes into it. No, she's going to start listening four years from now. Today on the show, we are

very stoked to have this guy in from Spicks and Specks, from the Great Debate. We have landed a big fish. Spicks and Specks reruns. Yeah, from Spicks and Specks reruns. Steve O'Neill. If you're a fan of ABC2. Shout out to 11pm at night.

Please welcome in a little dum-dum club, Hamish Blake. What an honour. What an honour to be in the house. Yes. Oh, this is a big trophy for the dum-dum club, Hamish Blake. How's it going? What an honour. What an honour to be in the house. Yes. Oh, this is a big trophy for the dum-dum trophy room. Oh, this is a big trophy for H. Blake.

Yeah. And because I don't have any. So anything is a big trophy. Yeah. Can we talk TV shows though quickly? Sure. Can I just jump in here?

Sopranos is great. If you can get your girlfriend watching Sopranos, awesome. Well, I'll eventually get around to the prequel. That is season one to three. Because it's a slog.

You can't watch Sopranos for more than two episodes in a row though. Because I've just recently, you're looking at a guy that four weeks ago just finished The Sopranos. I had to remember back to 2007, I think it was, when everyone's like, I didn't like that ending very much. It was a little bit unsatisfying. Even knowing that there was an unsatisfying ending coming up, I just had to get through it. Yeah.

But there's no – it's so complicated. It's like the wire. I wouldn't do the wire again either with my wife because you would get a lot of questions and I'm not sure I got it. That's it. It's not that I can't be bothered answering the questions. It's that she will expose the fact that I would just fake my way

through most of the season. I get very frustrated. I get angry at my girlfriend when she asks questions in movies and shows and she thinks that I'm impatient, but it's not. It's just that I don't have answers. I don't know why Barksdale did that. And I don't know – I can't remember the name of the other drug dealer who maybe he's got beef with. I can't. I can't remember. I'm the other drug dealer who maybe he's got beef with.

I can't. I'm just mostly enjoying the accent and knowing that McNulty is actually an English guy. That was my main enjoyment for the series. Because my girlfriend, she'll ask questions. I think I've talked about this on the show before, but she doesn't have a lot of faith in herself as an audience member because she'll ask questions about something

that you as an audience member are not meant to know yet. You know what I mean? The information is deliberately being withheld from you as a plot point to create suspense. First episode of Homeland, so is he a terrorist? I don't know. We don't know. There's a bit of that going on, yeah. I copped out at the end of the episodes.

It'll finish, fade to black. So what happens next week? Well, I can give you it in four-second snippets. That's all you get. Homeland, though, is a great wife-slash-girlfriend one, I've found, just in case you sort of find yourself just groping around in the dark. That's a winner. Yeah.

Are you watching it currently? Currently watching it. For some reason, in our house, it's known as Jazzy Secrets because of the opening title. And early days when it was like I thought there was points up for grabs to see if you could pick stuff early on, I kept saying to Zoe, my wife, I reckon jazz. Jazz is a big theme in this somewhere

because for some reason the opening credits have that trumpet in it. And then early, early days, like I think episode one or two of season one, there was something to do with the way Brodie's hands were moving. And they thought it might be a trumpet code. And I was like, that's it. So Claire Danes is going to go down like a sack of shit and it's going to be James Morrison behind her. Exactly.

And I put all my chips on that going, you wait, jazz will be a huge theme. That's awesome. Since then, they seem to have abandoned any sort of thematic jazz idea, but still it's known as Jazzy Secrets. I like the idea that there's clues in the theme song of the show to what's going to happen. I know. You know sometimes in shows they will show you snippets of the series

in the opening titles. It was more a big thing in the 80s and 90s and they they show you. You know sometimes in shows they will show you snippets of the series in the opening titles. It was more a big thing in the 80s and 90s. And they'd show you something that happens like way down the track in the end of the season in the opening titles, which is a bit like Mulder hugging an alien or something, having a beer. And you'd be like, well, I think I know what's going on. It's like Scooby-Doo, you know,

when you see the fairground owner at the start and you go, oh, what's he doing there? And then at the end it's like, oh, I killed everybody. It's the Trumbull Blast. What I like with it now, and I guess this is relatively in, but because Channel 10 are fast-tracking it and airing it only hours after the States, which before when they'd air it months later

and they've got all the episodes, like it's finished in the States already. So the episode ends and then they have a promo for next week and it's like they can choose what they put in the promo. But now because they're getting it hot off the satellite at the end of each episode, they don't know what's happening so there's no promo. It's just like the episode will end and then there'll just be text

that says Homeland and they're like, anyway, tune in next week. Homeland's going to be back. The story will no doubt progress unless, and again, this is very in, but unless Dana's featured in which case we'll just go to sleep because she is a highly boring character just while we're on TV and I know we've got

to talk about other stuff sure Survivor I don't know if you're into it or not but that is a show who you give crazy credit for

I was watching last week's episode last night it's a show that I cannot believe like it comes up and it's like we're 20 years into Survivor now

season 27 season 27 blood versus water. And it's not even, like, now it's just been relegated to, like, Gem, I think it is, or Go. Yeah. But it is, they still manage, like, just what we're talking about there, like, being able to spot patterns in shows to go, all right,

because you showed me that, I think that X, you showed me X, I think Y is coming up. They still manage to throw enough red herrings at you every episode. So, it gets to trouble. Everyone's just like, you know, we're voting out Dennis. Yeah, we're voting out Dennis. He's a dead man, dead man walking. Hey herrings at you every episode. So, when it gets to trouble, everyone's just like, you know, we're voting out Dennis. Yeah, we're voting out Dennis. He's a dead man.

Dead man walking. Hey, Dennis, you're dead. They still manage to not show you the blind side. And then, you know, James will get voted out or whatever. It's phenomenal. The fact that they can keep going. There's probably been like a thousand tribal councils now. So, if you watch that show every week,

you would think you would have to know what's coming up. Still gets me. I'm actually surprised with Survivor that there are, like every now and then someone will pop up on my Facebook. Like there are enough people out there. We're still out there. That are fanatics. That are absolute fanatics about it.

It's the father of all reality shows. It's the ultimate. It's still the ultimate. I remember trying to explain it to my grandpa when it was first on and him just not being able to get it going. It's like it's a TV show but it's like all real people. Like it all happened. It's not scripted and him going, I don't understand what that means.

Yeah, right, the first reality show. Yeah. Trying to like drop that bomb. Yeah. On the I Dream of Jeannie generation. I do like it because it is like Big Brother in that way where I respect it like boxing because it is like Big Brother in that way where I respect it like boxing

because it's like I'm not into boxing but I respect it because it's the purest form of stamina of combat of you know

you can muck around I am into boxing and I do find it offensive we're comparing Big Brother to boxing but I understand yeah the theory just like an instrument

that you don't really care about harp you go I would never buy a harp album but if you see someone that's the best harpist in the instrument you don't really care about. Harp. You go, I would never buy a harp album. But if you see someone that's the best harpist in the world, you can't deny they're better than us. Yeah, sure.

Another similarity TV and boxing is you watch boxing with your girlfriend and she's just like, why aren't they friends? Which one of them is going to win? What do they go on to do later in their life? Are you guys doing the Ashes at the moment? I'm not. Chandler is,? I'm not. Chandler is, but I'm not.

This is trying to get, I mean, how do you try and get so involved? I had a shot because my wife grew up in Barrow, which is where

Don Bradman grew up and she played at Bradman Oval. Oh, really? She played cricket. She played cricket when she was under 10. And this might be a wild wrong thing to say,

but are you allowed to marry a man when you play cricket as a lady? She seems to have broken that rule because she's done both. Wow. She was 10 years old and her older brother played for the team. She might have been like 8 or 9 because it was under 10s. She idolised him, just wanted to do what Levi was doing, her older brother. And she grew up in a family of eight kids. They're in the country.

They're out in the rural New South Wales. And the rule in the family was you guys can have one extracurricular activity. After that, you can do whatever you want, but it can't cost us time or money. Like if you want to go, if you're part of the chess club, fill your boots, but we're not driving you there and we're not buying chess gloves.

Or what do you think? For better grip. If that doesn't exist, I'm amazed. That's the thing that I'm surprised. If you're going to play speed chess, wear your chess gloves. So then Zoe was already doing taekwondo and she's like, oh, what do I do? I really want to play cricket with Levi because it's more of a social activity

and they have cordial halftime and there's some fun to be had at. There's sugar, which is another thing we're not allowed in the house. So her answer to that was, because she was like, I can't get cricket whites, was to go and play under-10s cricket in a taekwondo gi. Oh. So some 20 years ago, there was a nine-year-old girl standing on Don Bradman Oval

with her yellow belt, her taekwondo gi and her Dunlop hollies, just running around the outfield doing cartwheels, which is what the girls on our team did when we were in under 10s. But that was her height of cricket watching, and it sort of slipped from there. I've got to say, her taking a catch and then what, upgrading her belt after that? Well, the ball would come to her and she'd just punch it out of the air

and stand back until she was sure it had been disabled. I've got to say, I'm not into cricket, but if that's what was going on, I'd be there in a heartbeat. That's what would get me in. It would jazz it up. For the people that think test cricket is slow, I can understand

that adding a bit of taekwondo to it would be cool. I'm being paid at the moment, I've got a small job being paid to basically commentate the cricket Are you doing ball by ball? online,

but, you know, like hanging shit on the Englishman. It's sort of like an anti-English sort of a website. Well, that's just a dream come true. So that's what I'm getting to do. Yeah, exactly. And especially when my girlfriend walks into the room and goes,

is this all that's on? Can I put this on? And I go, sorry, honey, I'm working. How do you think I very, very slowly put this roof over it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ball by ball, honey. How do you think we got the majority of the grapes on that table? So, yeah, that is an actual legitimate alibi to watch Test Trigger.

The only thing that Zoe's into, my wife, is the lunch aspect. Yeah. When the Ashes were in England, obviously with the time difference, a lot of Australian males were staying up overnight. It would start at 8 o'clock and their lunch would be at 10. And so this is, you know, Zoe would go to bed like around about nine, like a bit of an early sleeper.

It might've been nine to 11, whatever it was. I'd stay up to lunch usually. So I'd be sort of creeping into bed and she might be already asleep. And then she'd go, you know, are we winning? And I'd always have to do it. It's a five day match. It's not a, you can't be, we're going okay,

but I'm nervous. And then she'd say, well, do you want to keep watching it? I'd say, no, no, it's lunch. And then she be we're going okay but i'm nervous and then she'd say well do you want to keep watching it i'd say no no it's lunch and then she would go not as a joke and not sarcastically she'll go what are they having for lunch and then one night the first time she asked this i thought she was joking so then i said they're having lobster rolls and then she went oh that's awesome no they don't show you the lunch it's not that's not they don't just cut to the lunch room and pan across the spread

but in Zoe's head that was like the best part of the cricket more things that would get me into it as well like I gotta say I wish

I don't know what like I'm just missing that part of me where I don't I don't get it but I wish like especially now when it's like

you know like one of my mates would be like yeah come around and we'll just drink during the day and just have it on the TV. I'm like, man, that sounds awesome.

Wouldn't that be amazing if there was something on the TV I loved? Yeah, exactly. Just watching people eat. Watch the Simpsons or we'll get drunk. Have a Simpsons drinking game. What are they having for lunch? Yeah, that episode of The Simpsons that goes for five days. Sometimes there's no jokes for like a whole day, but it's fine.

The Simpsons versus the English equivalent animation. And at the end, it's a draw. Yeah. Winning the Flanders. Yeah. I do like that KFC is the sponsor of the cricket. And that also, early in the year, they had those lawn bowls ads with good Charlotte. Like, that KFC wants to get behind a sport, but the only...

Like, the idea of tying in KFC with anything that involves any strenuous, like, running or anything is just absurd. Pick the sport where there's a lot of standing around. Yeah, just moving your arm a little bit. Yeah, but they did pick the sport where everyone wears white, which you wouldn't really be wearing if you're eating KFC, I would have thought. Yeah.

Is that the ideal? Get grease all over you kind of thing, you mean? Yeah. Also, you don't want to pick a sport where you have to actually, like, hold a ball and be good with it, hold a catch. Yeah. But again, they don't eat the KFC on the field, and that would be dangerous if they had greasy hands.

Not yet. Nor do we know if they have it for lunch. And that's why they had towelettes. Just in case you are an elite level sportsman and you had a 10-piece bucket for lunch, use your towelettes, guys. Dry off your hands. We're going back in the field.

Or just like greasing up the ball with a towelette before you throw it. I feel like I should officially welcome you to the Dumb Dumb Club. It's great to be here, guys. Because it's your first time. Unfortunately, unlike Spicks and Specks, you are a lot behind Dave O'Neill. Dave O'Neill's made a lot more appearances on the Dumb Dumb Club. I never really knew who won the old Spicks and Specks tally, depending on what producer you talked to.

You know what? That's very funny you say that. Sometimes he had it, sometimes I had it. I rang David O'Neill today and I said, who did win? Who had the most? And he went, oh, some people say Hamish. It's not though.

I love that we're acting like there's no way to find out an answer to this. I Googled it. It is a TV show. Someone has to know that. It was broadcast by the government. Someone has to know that. We're broadcast by the government. Someone has to know. And it's also a show that is watched by people that you know

they've been writing down the stats in their little exercise books. It is watched by scorekeeping people. Yeah, for sure. Exactly. Wouldn't it be great if it gets uncovered how they're rebooting it? If it came out that Dave O'Neill had financed the whole thing, he's paid for it all himself. He was one behind.

Just so he can come back on and it's like this conspiracy where people are like, why isn't Hamish? It's been on a year. Hamish hasn't been on once yet. What's going on at all? Dave's just going to stand up, cheer, thump his chest, walk over, pull out the plug and go, that's it, no more Spicks and Specks.

No, it comes on there and it's like an Eddie Murphy movie. He's playing all the guests. Just doing me in a bad wig. Slandering people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's one

Hamish Mike one and Dave O'Neill about six. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. I'm going to get him. And while he's distracted

with the new Spixens page I'll be over here at the house dragging him down reeling him in. Yeah. Yeah. Let's say O'Neill

just goes around trying to get in on the bottom floor of every kind of new media so he can rack up all the appearances before you've even found out about it. He's trialling at Holographic Digital TV. Yeah, whatever the next thing is after podcasting, he's on one of them right now. Another thing I'm really excited about is you are the first Gold Logie winner that we've ever had on the podcast.

Suck that, O'Neill, yeah. Suck it hard suck that Rowena Wallace Tony Barber there's you know catch up but yeah I ran into Tony Barber

actually bizarrely at a friend's wedding and he turned out to be her uncle and I didn't know that Barber had won the gold Logie

oh because but Barber came up and he said, but I have a huge respect for the Barber. He's like a father figure to me. And I, you know, playing the $5 note game was one of the greatest moments of my life as a child. But when he came over, we said,

how are you, Tony? He said, yeah, good. Lovely to meet you, see you, Tony. I mean, my brother did sing on a Christmas album with you when you were younger and I was in the car park and I saw you when we picked him up from the Christmas album. Don't think you remember me from that.

How are you, Tone? And he went, not often you get two Gold Logie winners in the same room. Oh. Great. And I just had a bit of, my brain just went, well, it sounds like he's won one. So I went, Darryl Summers is in here as well.

I looked behind me and I went, of course, sir. Well done. Just made up a handshake. Yes. And we clunk golden heads. Yeah. Yeah, that was, yeah. So he still got it, which means he can go forever.

That's the only perk. Well, I mean, depending on if you qualify it as a perk or not. But the one actual sort of official ramification that it has, winning a gold Logie, is there's no money, obviously nothing involved like that, but you get to go to the Logies forever if you want. Right. That would be great if it was you have to go every year.

I know. You have to be in a cage, swimming around in a giant tank behind them, trying to hold the older Gold Logie winners up closer to the surface so they can still breathe. But I noticed, because Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong, they won one in 69. They got an honorary Gold Logie.

Did they? If you look it up on Wikipedia, the winners for 1969 were Edwin Aldrin and Neil Armstrong. So they can come. That's what they would say. If you ever walk in... Buzz can come if he wants. If you walk into a room with Neil Armstrong,

he's going to come up to you and go, not often two Gold Logie winners. What did they win a Gold Logie for? Their show, Landing on the Moon. Have you heard of that, Tommy? That great show they did where everyone watched it was like

for a season premiere it was probably some of the highest ratings you're ever gonna get I'd love it I'd love it if they didn't win it for that they just hosted the first blankety blanks

that would have been better kind of bullshit that Survivor gets all the credit for being the first reality show because that's that's really that was a great live cross yeah

that was really well done the rest of the season flopped i think it got axed just goes to show you can be flying so high yeah literally on the way up they're doing nominations of who's going to be the first one to walk out there when they get there i think i mean i think yeah that would have that would have been such an interesting discussion to have because they would have had it earlier on and i we actually had we had buzz order on our radio show once and i think we you you know those ones where you're like oh this would be great we'll ask him that and as you're asking it you can just feel in his body these answer this question 25 million times yeah and i think it was something to do with like who was

the flight commander or whatever but that he would have even been seeing they go well this is bullshit why does he just get it because he outr. Like, let's have a skill game or... Yeah. Like, when it comes down to the final two on Big Brother, I always go, would you take the 50-50 deal? Like, if you were in there with someone else... Yeah. And they said to you, do we just split this?

Like, would you risk it all? Or do you think you're going to get it? Yeah, yeah. I'd probably take the deal. Yeah. That's reminded me of... I'd forgotten about this until the other day. A guy that I went to high school with... Went to the moon? I'd probably take the deal. Yeah. That's reminded me of – I'd forgotten about this until the other day.

A guy that I went to high school with – Went to the moon? Yes. Right. But he 50-50'd it with Neil Armstrong. That's how Neil Armstrong got in. He went on – I think it was deal or no deal. And he went along with his girlfriend and they kind of had that deal where it was like if one of us gets to do it, we'll split it.

Yep. And he won like 60,000 or something or like maybe more. He won a lot of money. And so, got it, split it with her and then like a month later she dumped him. Oh. And just walked away with a cool. Just a crazy. A crazy like.

Alimony settlement. Yeah. Boyfriend, girlfriend alimony settlement yeah boyfriend girlfriend alimony yeah but i mean i suppose it's not it would have been a weird thing for him to say to go we split it as long as you stay with me for a year like just a shit version of a decent proposal i'll give you 60,000 dollars for 365 nights with me it needs to be like a prenup department out the front of Deal or No Deal before you go in. Yeah. Yeah, you've got to honour those deals.

That is just how friendships imply. Oh, but that's... Man, that would be... Oh, that would be a... I just... Because I hadn't thought about... I'd forgotten about that. It happened a few years ago now

and a friend of mine from school reminded me of it and it just brought back all that. That is weird from both... That's a bitter pill to swallow. If she's posting stuff on Facebook and stuff like with her new boyfriend, they're in the Bahamas and stuff and you are like, I won the money that you're romancing my woman with, that's tough to take. Yeah, it'd be all that kind of stuff.

But also, no different though, I suppose. And if you're just walking in and you say to a stranger, hey, listen, we double our chances here. Are you interested? Yeah. Then you've got way more, way better chance then because you can just burn them and you don't care if it's a stranger and you just pretend you didn't, never had that conversation with them.

Yeah, yeah. When I was in like year nine, me and a mate found 50 bucks in the street and we got into a fight over who should get it because it was like, it was like one of those things where it was like he, one of us saw it

but the other one had like been the one to say, let's go down this street. So it was kind of like we both had claim to it. And that age where it's like- I set my alarm for 6.50 that morning, and if we hadn't have got up, how far back do you argue the sliding doors? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did some good karma yesterday, and what did you do?

But I remember we had this week-long fight to the point of us almost not being friends anymore. Because when you're that age, 50 bucks bucks is like all the money in the world. I would definitely look at maybe cancelling your whole life for 50. 50 right now and no more friends. I'll take that 50. One of the things I reckon in the first 10 years of your life, you know, things start to get a bit fuzzy and whatever.

Like you don't remember everything that ever happened. But I've got a distinct memory of finding a 20 outside a church once. And that's, you know, there's plenty of birthdays I don't remember. But I remember finding that crisp 20 at the front of a church. Because it's the first time. You're saying a clear memory is cut to you just racking it out of the collection plate. I remember there was a woman there who looked a lot like my mum, had this sort of like leather bag she would carry around

with this small filing cabinet full of money in it. I have a really clear memory of that. I had a really weird one. I reckon I was about 10 years old and Air Max 180s were big. Nike Air Max 180s were huge. In my household, no chance. Forget about it. I had a Sfida imitation pair

and that's as close as i got to rock and shoes were there but there was a kid at my school and that he was a chinese kid because that chinese new year um other that other we're just stealing the holiday is that how you knew he was chinese he's just come up to you on happy new year and you're like wait a minute it's not january 1st what are you doing year of the the snake. What does that mean? But I've referenced the fact, Chinese New Year comes into play. This isn't me just adding useless racial profiling for no reason. But he, you know, so in Chinese New Year, you get those little red packets of money.

What? It's a tradition. Like family members give little red envelopes to everyone. It's for prosperity and whatnot. Wow. And. That's really great racism. That's the, if you're known for giving out money,

that's like a really positive thing. And it's a family thing and he was talking up a big game at school going, guys, I don't think you understand. Like, doing a bit of Heisenberg. Like, I don't think you understand how much money I've got.

I got shoeboxes full of cash from this. He's like, you know, my uncle's really rich and he always gives, like, no matter how old you are or how young you are, you know, he's given out hundreds and this is,

it's like when the first time you hear about it, if you've got a friend that has a bar mitzvah and you can't really get your head around the windfall that's sort of about to befall them. So he's going around,

he's talking this up and he says to me, oh, and my dad's going to America this week. He's like, oh, do you want me to get you

some Air Max? Which is so we like i grew up in in glen waverley yeah and so i'm out there in the eastern southeast suburbs of melbourne like this is like someone just casually you're out to lunch with them and they're like do you want a ferrari because my dad's going to the uae and he's bringing back a bike load yeah do you mean do you want mine or do you have a car or would it be a hassle? What are you talking about? Yeah. So, it's like, could you really get me Air Max? Yeah.

I'm not going to say no to it. It's like, mate, no worries. It's done. I'm like, I can't believe this is happening. So, I'm sort of walking around for a week going, I'm getting Air Maxes. I've given him my size. I've traced my foot. I'm making sure there was no error yes situation a week passes two weeks pass and and he goes

he comes to school he's like oh mate sorry dad he didn't get the shoes and so i went like you can't be angry at it because you just never deserve to have this this pair of amx in the first place but i was probably not that mature so i was like peeved and the next day he comes to school and gives me a hundred dollars just as a bit of sorry i couldn't get the shoes here you go buy the buy some air max yourself because i he goes i got with my red red envelope money wow and again the right thing to do there is obviously you just go ah mate this is crazy we're getting silly now but i just cheers, thanks very much. That's more like it.

How desperate is this kid for friends? And he wasn't an unpopular kid. It still doesn't even make sense to this day. So I remember getting the $100, just having it in my sock because I folded it. That was paper $100 back then. Folded it up, chucked it in my sock and just walking around, walking on $100. Just diamonds in the soles of my shoes style. Go home and I'm ecstatic. So I go to mum and I walk up to mum and I'm like,

well, mum, I don't know what you're doing Saturday morning. Things have changed. You need to block out 10 to 12 Saturday morning for me because we're heading up to the Glen and we're getting me some Air Max. Ah, the Glen. You've got a 10-year-old kid just waving a Christmas card. Or a sweaty hundo and this is what we're doing on Saturday immediately

you know mum calls dad in what's going on where did you get that I'm like whoa this is my first experience of being audited I don't know odd jobs

I think I declared it it was a gift it was from a dead I was a dead uncle so I'm trying to now I didn't have any option I just said well look Peter Tran gave it to me but he's I think I declared it. It was a gift. It was from a dead uncle. So, I'm trying to now... I didn't have any option. I just said, well, look, Peter Tran gave it to me,

but he was allowed to because it was from his red envelope money and he was meant to get me airbags anyway and he didn't. So, this is sort of a make good. All hell breaks loose. Like, we have to drive over to this kid's house at night. And then the weird thing is we got to give the money back. Like, we drive over there. Dad's like

this has happened you know your son's give my son $100 that can't be happening here's the money back but then this kid he's now going oh that was probably

a weird thing to do so he's gone I don't know what he's talking about oh what and so dad's going to me where did the money come from I'm like

what are you talking about you gave me $100 it's cool so there's this weird three way lie so then we gave it to World Vision Where did the money come from? I'm like, what are you talking about? You gave me $100 at school. So there's this weird three-way lie. So then we gave it to World Vision. And I'm in the corner just like dying. Like, man, I'm going to know what to do with Air Max. Tell you what to do.

And so it became this. And the only other weird part about the story was I remember because I was in kind of now I was in trouble for having accepted the $100. There was a bit of a hot potato of blame that got juggled around and somehow I ended up holding this shitty blame potato. Did your parents believe you like after you left the house? They would have to because I wasn't a good liar and I'm not a good liar. And even as a kid, like even if I thought I was lying,

well, you wouldn't have been. Like, you know, if eight-year-old kids lied to you, you could tell. So they must be saying, going, this is weird. I think Hamish is telling the truth. But what know if eight year old kids lied to you you could tell so there must be someone going this is weird I think Hamish is telling the truth but what a weird thing for this

other kid to have done mum had bought a dictaphone like back in the day she thought this was going to be a really handy

thing to like you know take down ideas mum I think she was a high school teacher at the time but she had

somehow we had a dictaphone at home I took it to school to try and get him on tape. Oh, you're wired.

You're wired up. Admitting that he gave me the hundred, even though the issue was over. I still was trying to clear my name. I wasn't this thief roaming the neighbourhood. Oh, wow. But I don't think I ever managed to get him on tape. But I still actually remember looking at different jackets

in my closet that I could put the dictaphone in and have it going so I could just the dictaphone in and have it going so I could just do that awesome reveal of just pulling it out, clicking stop and going, you just told me. Yeah. I'd like to hear the failed copies that you've got though. I know, that'd be amazing. You're going up going, so Peter, remember when you gave me that sweet hunch?

God, no. Have you given out any hundos today like you did to me on the 4th of September 1989? Hot day today, In Fahrenheit it must be almost 100 degrees. Speaking of 100 things, those dollars. Speaking of 100, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you, mate? Hey, Pete, how's it going? Do you want to go get a Sunny Boy at the

tuck shop? Yeah, you could afford to give it to me because, as we both know, you definitely admit you gave me 100 Australian currency on said time and date. Did you not? Could you just speak into this bunch of roses? And have you had the moment of having a 10-year school anniversary and getting to see this kid again?

See, this is primary school. Yeah, I don't know what ended up happening to that guy. I probably should have changed his name. So apologies if he's now a... As he reached puberty, he probably found new and interesting people to give $100 to, I'd imagine. Yeah, I mean, that's the kind of thing you have a lot of fun if you kept that up later in your life.

Never lose that streak, Pete. I bet you had a great time. Well, if he's listening right now, our little dumdumclub at gmail.com is our PayPal address if you want to wire some stuff through. Our parents are fine with it. We're not going to drive round to your house in the middle of the night and give you grief over it.

We're not going to blow your cover keep those red envelopes coming guys as we've always said happy Chinese New Year and have you had that sweet moment did you then like years down the line when you could go

and get your own pair of Air Max and it was like a sweet redemption yeah two big moments of my adult life I reckon were when I just went actually three when I just went

this is awesome one buying Air Max to myself, which was great. And that was only like maybe when they sort of relaunched them. Yeah. We're talking like eight, nine years ago. Two, converting to being Chinese to get some sweet money. Sweet red and white. Wabusha mama.

And first shop you ever do when you move out. Oh, yeah, yeah. First time you go to a rental house, like me and my two housemates went down to the supermarket and that moment where you just go, I can just buy chocolate. Yeah, yeah. I can buy as much as I want.

I've got money. But at the same time, you're going, this is going to be great. Let's go do our first shop. And it's like, gets to the end. It's like, that's 50 bucks. It's like, oh, this sucks. Yeah.

Totally. So we all took a photo because we're like, this is going to be us forever. We're like, friends. Never shop as a group again. Oh, yeah, right. We're like, Thursday shopping day to be us forever. We're like, friends, never shop as a group again. We're like, Thursday shopping day. That never lasted.

And then one time we got given Reebok pumps. And then that's still, again, as a child that just pined after them and could never have them. To be given a pair by Reebok to be like, hey, these are coming out, tell us what you think, was just like, well, the world's, this is crazy. The world has gone mad. I've married a princess. Nothing against my actual wife, these are coming out, tell us what you think, was just like, well, the world's, this is crazy. The world has gone mad. I've married a princess. Nothing against my actual wife, who I do see is also a wonderful day of my life. Now, I actually, that reminds me, I had something like that in my youth, because I grew up in

a small country town called Miraburra, and it's in central Victoria. And I had this really weird guy that was sort of a bit more sort of pushy than that. He was a real guy that would try and buy your friendship. He would try and take $100 from you rather than this weird generosity bully that I had. Trying to make friends by stealing, yeah, yeah. So he would bring around bikes and stuff and go, oh, you can have this

and there'd be like a bike at my house and my parents would come around and go... Oh no, it's like a double day scam. If you don't return it in 30 days, we just start taking $ of your bank account yeah it was like that and my parents would be like all parents are going where's this come from you know you've got to bring this back but they didn't look into it too much it'd just be like i just give it back and he'd keep bringing around this stuff and we'd have to keep sending it back and whatever and i go gee that was me being a child going oh it seems overly generous to be giving that to him.

Oh, well, I wonder what he did when he got it back and I don't really understand. Years later, his dad ended up in one of Chopper's books as this mass criminal. And so I was getting hot stuff that I was getting from one of Chopper's henchmen. Right. Wow.

Yeah, you got drug dealers, kids, bikes. Yeah, yeah. But one of Chopper's rural henchmen, so probably not one of the better henchman right wow yeah you got drug dealers kids bikes yeah yeah one of but one of chopper's rural henchmen so probably not one of the better henchmen yeah sure he drives around every month to see how the sales are going and you know gives him a bit of marketing advice keep going threatening to burn down people's barns and stuff like that he sees him every year at the christmas conference but he doesn't really get out and do much boots on the ground in the rural areas yeah i just like that choppers yeah that it's worth choppers while to be franchising out into the greater victorian region it was heath franklin by that stage the real chopper can't go out there i'll send out the heath and that various other of my lookalikes so what if he's franklin's henchman

franklin's little brother goes out. Shall we take a quick break now? Sure. To check in once again with Australia's favourite and longest running serial. Let's hear a little bit of the adventures of Rad Dad. Well, it's Rad Dad here and I'm here to say I'm just ratting around in the Rad Dad way Gotta wipe your kids, your cat and your dog

Now see me be right in your catalogue Yeah Word to your mother Cause I'm Rad Dad He's the raddest dad in town Rad Dad Hey Rad Dad. Hey, Rad Dad.

I was cleaning your office and I found this pile of papers in your desk. Oh, yeah, they're all the copies I make of my correspondence with Leisure Suit Larry. He is so cool with the ladies. And when he one day replies, I'll be his number one wingman. Nah, these don't look like letters. They all say things like overdue and final notice. Are you in financial trouble, Rad Dad? Ah, Jenny, that's nothing. Just the man trying to stop old Rad Dad from having a

good time. Now, come over here and let's watch Harriet the Spy together on LaserDisc. I'll get it. Hello, young lady. I'm a sheriff from the sheriff's office. I'm looking for Mr. R. Dad. Is he in here? Oh, shit. Jenny, tell him I'm not here. Yeah, he's just in the living room. Mr. Dad, I have in here? Oh, shit. Jenny, tell him I'm not here. Yeah, he's just in the living room.

Mr. Dad, I have a warrant here for your arrest owing to a large number of unpaid fines. Hey, Jenny, can you smell that? Smells to me like bacon because there's a bloody pig in our home. Got him. Oh, Christ. Actually, just from the sheriff's office,

not technically police. Anyway, some of these fines are pretty serious. Driving 95 kilometres in a school zone. I was trying to impress a lollipop lady. Parking in a disabled spot out the front of a chemist. I needed some Lynx Africa for my hot date with a lollipop lady. This is one I've never heard of. Indecent conduct in a red rooster car park.

Well, let's just say things went pretty well with a lollipop lady. In fact, you could say my lollipop was... Wait a minute. Her roast chicken roll... Okay, that's probably not it either. Hang on, I'm getting there. We get it. You're trying to tell us that the lollipop lady touched your penis. And while I do

congratulate you for that, I have to say in all my years as a sheriff, I have never seen a man with such incompetent disregard for the law. Also, I can't remember the last time I saw someone wearing a Vote for Pedro t-shirt. I've heard enough. Rad Dad, you are under arrest. What? No, no.

Jenny, get a message to Leisure Suit Larry. He'll know what to do. He'll sleep with the female judge or something. And while you're at it, see if you can get that lollipop lady to pop down to the cop shop for a bit of a conjugal visit. Rad Dad. Rad Dad is filmed in front of a live studio audience. And we're back.

And what a great time we just had. One of the better ones, I would have thought. Yeah, well, we'll see. What I want to ask you about, Hamish, is, you know, recent news of yours, the GQ Man of the Year. Yeah. Congratulations. Thank you.

Half man. Yeah, of course. Sorry, sorry. If anyone's ever had to share it, singularly, these guys would not be a man in their own right. Let's hear it for the half man. Hamish and Andy. What are your responsibilities as GQ, one of the GQ men of the year?

Every time I think of half man, I do think either centre or just like front or back half of a two-person horse suit. But zero responsibilities oh really um i mean if you should what should what what money clip should i be using at the moment that's the crazy thing isn't it's like i didn't know i mean i'm very honored to get it for the record yep sure this is so nice of you guys to think of me but i did try to make clear to them and then nothing about like i don't know about fashion and style. Yeah, yeah.

I couldn't tell you the regular segments of the pier in the GQ before having started to peruse it a little more heavier. You are wearing little to no Burberry at the moment. I'm very disappointed in that. I have a Burberry morph suit underneath my jeans and T-shirt. So, I always have one piece of Burberry Louis Vuitton on at one stage. Well, that was a hard thing. The only bit of resistance we encountered in the whole process was

they really want to slick your hair down quite Mad Men-esque. Yeah, right. And we did it for this photo shoot for the magazine. And then on the night, they want you to sort of like recreate the look. Like they're sort of creating a character. I sort of look like a henchman a little bit. And I was like, i just don't i'm pretty happy with the regular you know shower towel i'm gonna put deodorant and stuff on like i'm gonna come straight from work yeah that's kind of what you're gonna

get so there's a little bit of uh all right well yeah for the record we'd rather you have slick down here but that was the only kind of there the only clashing of heads that happened. But from here on in, I think it's just parties, parties, parties. Just rolling around the streets with the old golden, I've chainsawed the award in half. So I got a big G in front of my car, which is awkward when I drive past Andrew G who's I think got the same big G on his car.

He's has nothing to do with GQ though. So that's it. it yeah Andrew and I just we get to put that up there with our not many other awards like our Channel 31 Community TV Award our antenna

hey have you still got that we've been part of that we're antenna award winners I know we've mentioned Logies and GQ but that's literally the only things

that I've ever picked up the antennas we cleaned up at one year and they still have pride of place in our office. Yeah, they're amazing. Yeah. Who's got – because we – at the show we were on 1-1, but we – I don't think I've ever even seen it. I think they were also chainsawed up, but not to keep.

Well, we got beaten out and there was Jack on our radio show who presses the buttons for us, he turned up at our radio station when he was about 19 and started just by chance filled in for us and he had to fill in every Friday from our regular panel operator, a guy called Ben. And it became this running joke that like every Friday just so many mistakes and people would be like tweeting, it looks like Jack's on the buttons.

And so it just became this thing that this 19-year-old doesn't know how to panel. But from there, it became a lot of fun because we sort of got to talk to him and he's a super funny guy in his own right and he just sort of became part of the show. But as that was happening, as we had this 19-year-old guy panelling our show,

we got an email from his mum to the radio show's like webpage. She emailed and she said, I know Jack won't have told you this, but you should ask him what two guys he beat at the antenna awards when he was 15. And Sandy and I were like, holy shit,

it's that guy. When we were like, we, that the year we were up for the antenna was, I think it was 2000 and might've been 2003. And we'd done like, we'd done a show called Radio Karate. And we were nominated, I think, for seven.

And Andy and I were both individually nominated for Best Presenter. And then there was someone else. And then there was a 15-year-old kid that was nominated for Sin TV, which is essentially community radio being filmed as a TV show. So we're like, well, this kid's not going to win it. And we were at the height of arrogance, like giant, just giant,

probably if you could chart out. I'd like to think you got arrogant, more arrogant than working on Channel 31. There's been better things since then. Totally, we were just thinking we were kings of the world. So if you could chart our ego, we're probably around about the summit

at this stage. We'd just signed with Channel 7, like we had this sketch show that was going ahead. So we're like, well, I think we're going to be okay against the 15 year old kid yeah

as obviously happens 15 year old kid wins it he gets up there sort of gives it a bit of you know voice breaky acceptance speech sits back down

and you're like it's the only thing we didn't win all night the show won like best titles best producer all the other stuff you get and then it was

it turns out it was Jack it was and he'd never mentioned it there was four years later panelling our show and we're sitting across from our nemesis and he'd never

bought it up and we still have not forgiven him and the next day he got chainsawed in half yeah and then we just put in one of those

Perspex screens you have in limousine so we he can't he's not susceptible to any projectiles we throw at him but that was so we all have humble beginnings in the antenine so we he can't he's not susceptible to any projectiles we throw at him but that was that so we all have humble beginnings in the antennas i thought his acceptance speech

was actually far more grateful than ours would have been at the time it's a strange world isn't it the world of community tv and awards and stuff like that because we had a year where we the studio a the show that we both worked on and we're on from time to time we won and then the next year this is when dave thornton was hosting it, someone else from like Channel 31 or who was nominated against us came up to Thornton and was like, you think you're pretty bloody good

because you won last year, but guess what, Thornton, you are going down. I was like trying to get all up in our face about it. We're like, man, you can have it. Like we're here at the thing. That's enough. We get free drinks tonight. This is all we care about in community television.

We paid our whole crew with muffin break muffins yeah like our whole sponsorship was just muffin break everywhere yeah so and then i think we got like two boxes of muffins and that was sort of that was enough to get people to turn up and work the cameras for us yeah yeah i'm sure muffin breaker appreciating this plug this is our shit conditions were on our show we paid people in muffin break can you believe people ate muffin break still a huge fan

of their apple cinnamon in fact while everyone's sitting in those red envelopes why not send the show a few muffins oh man I want to I talked ahead of the

top of the show about my girlfriend I want to bring this up I because I've heard that you're quite a fitness... Are you a fitness fanatic or are you just a fitness... What's under fanatic?

No, I just more... I'm kicked fatness. Right. I just moved slightly away from fatness. And I went to the show in New York. And then after that, I was just on about a pizza a day outside of normal food intake, which in New York... This is in...

Yeah, in New York. ...is a lot of food. Yeah. You just don't stop eating. You have to physically resist food, like duck it, weave it, get out of its way. I feel like it's your duty,

weren't you, in America, to make the most of what they have there. And don't get me wrong, I don't regret it for a second, and any time I am in America or New York, you have to partake in that. Yeah. Like, they're the best burgers,

it's the best fried chicken in the world, and I adore it. But I was just, it was incredible. I think I got about 103, 104 kilos. Yeah. Which was, you know, I was getting up there. And I was newly in love too. Like it was sort of the first year of the relationship,

first, second year. So you do wear that honeymoon period fat suit a little bit. Right. But I came back from that and I went, all right, this has got a bit silly. The moment moment came my hitting rock bottom for me was when i got on the scales and when you went back to community tv and said is that muffin break deal still going or i will learn how to work a camera if there's muffins involved and i got i went to it went to get on a trampoline like at a cousin's house or something and on the side as i was climbing, just to be like one of the kids,

as I was climbing on it said, you know, maximum you have to be under a maximum light 100 kilograms. Like a person's under 100 kilograms only, which is you wouldn't even think you need to put that on stuff because most of us are under 100 kilograms. And in that moment I just realised I'm suddenly on the outer. I'm now on the outer. I'm now in the small percentage of people.

I'm now eligible for a shot from behind waddling shot on current affairs to describe the growing obesity epidemic. And it was time to maybe do something about it. So I started... That would have been good for your Twitter at that moment. You know how everyone has their funny little statuses and whatever. Hamish playing too fat for a trampoline. Too fat to bounce. Trampoline illegal.

And so we started this thing on the radio show at the time. I was like, I got two months and by the end of this year, I got to get under a hundred. I got to bounce on a trampoline and do a backflip. And then I got back down to about 95. Right. From that. And then I sort of, I guess I'm around,

I haven't weighed myself since that day, but I probably lost a bit more than that. I'm probably around about 90. But I started boxing with a bunch of mates. That's what I was going to say because Diamond Dave Thornton, friend of the show. We trained together. Yes, he says that you are an absolute demon in there.

It's just a lot of fun. I did that thing with exercise, and I never thought I'd be sitting here talking about exercise, but you get through those first few months, where thankfully I was doing it because I made a stupid promise on there, so I kind of had to. But you get through those first few months where I was thankfully I was doing it because I made a stupid promise on there so I kind of had to

but you get through those first few months and then you know there's 10 or so other guys and we're all mates and do it together and it just gets a bit competitive and you can't get out of it

and then you're stuck in it and then it gets to the point where you're like well I spend two mornings a week running around an oval and through winter it's cold and I'm dragging

medicine balls around. I've got tyres and ropes and stuff. I just can't let that go to waste now. Yeah, yeah. Now I'm in the zone where I'm like, well, I got to... It's only two mornings a week, but it's still...

I mean, every single morning the alarm goes off and I go, I think I might give this up. And then I sort of get out of bed and you're slowly putting your clothes on and then you're there. I've only done it... I've done it like three times and I was just fucked after it every time.

But I loved it. It's great. Yeah. And I don't want to sound like Michelle Bridges, but I think the number one thing that I learnt was just do it with mates. Yeah. You're looking at a guy that's had 12 gym memberships, has bought and given away almost every piece of fitness

equipment has tried so many times to do the old i'll just get fit by myself yeah i'm just too generous i'm the i'm the friendliest coach you'll ever meet like if i did 10 push-ups i'd be like i am you are a hero we're gonna go get a cheeseburger and then we'll go for a run later if you don't if your tummy feels okay and so you just have to go and do it with like a group like get a coach get a get get a good group of people to do it i'm keen but so with the boxing i've never done the boxing because i run i do a lot of stuff like that but with boxing do they have the do they i imagine with the gym you've got you've got sort of vaguely sort of pump up music with with boxing is it like that they get you know have you got a lot of eye of the tiger sort of happening in there? I think it just depends.

Like, we don't do, you know, I wouldn't want us to be confused with actual fighters, but I suppose it's like the training you would do if you were also training to be a fighter. Do you know what I mean? So, it's like a lot of, you're hitting bags and you, you know, you're doing various drills and stuff with each other.

I don't even, I can't even, couldn't even tell you. Sometimes it's music, I guess, sometimes it's not, but like like you are quite often like on your hands and knees just praying to vomit so you'll feel

a little bit better like it can it can mess you up which is the fun part of it like over over time you do get into that it's just I find it interesting

to see how far I can push myself sure sure because I do a lot of running and I'm Tommy you've brought up you listen to music i don't really listen to music i haven't got that thing where i sort of need music i need

someone next to me i run with my girlfriend yeah yeah and my girlfriend needs music and this is what happened the other day was i did a run i came back with her and she said oh you've got to help me with my ipod uh before we we run again and i'm like, what do you mean? Is it broken? And she's like, no, no, it's not broken. It's just, it's not uploading from my iTunes. It's not uploading from my laptop. I'm like, okay, so what are you listening to? And she goes, I just tracks that I've downloaded straight onto my iPod.

Like, okay, all right, so how many have you got on there? And she said, one. And we'd just been going. She's brainwashed herself. We'd just finished an hour run. And she had it on rotate and she listened to the one song for an hour. And this had been happening for weeks. I'm like, you've been listening to one song over and over.

And she's like, yeah. I said, what's the song? She goes, Under the Milky Way by The Church. Oh, God. Which is sort of a soundtrack to Necking Yourself rather than Running for an Hour. I mean, in an indie film, you could maybe see a running montage to that,

but it's not immediately what you think with Sports Papa. No, it's not like you've got a hill ahead of you and you're like, I can do it. This is a song about someone and heroin. Sure, it's motivating me. Let's go up that hill. Because it's actually a song got a hill ahead of you and you're like, I can do it. This is a song about someone and heroin. Sure, it's motivating me. Let's go up that hill. Because it's actually a song about like a drug cafe in Amsterdam or something. Yeah, right.

It's like Horse With No Name. Yeah, yeah, yes. Another great running song. I mean, that's kind of good, I guess, for ambling or moping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For crying in your bedroom at age 15. I mean, you could do various verbs to that song. I just wouldn't pick hill sprints as well. No, yeah. For crying in your bedroom at age 15. I mean, you could do various verbs to that song. I just wouldn't pick hill sprints as well.

No, no. But listening to anything for an hour, that's crazy behaviour. Like, do you ever get this where, like, you – this happens to me a bit where, you know, a song gets stuck in your head. Yeah, totally. And then if I can't sleep and the song has been in my head during the day, it'll just be looping in my head as I'm trying to sleep and I can't sleep and I'm getting annoyed because I can't.

Sometimes that can throw you. Depends on the song. It can throw you. But you know, you're trying to sleep and so you're getting frustrated by not being able to sleep and then this song, and like often I'll just get stuck on one little bit of the song, like one little bit of wording or one little bar that just keeps.

Oh, totally. And it's always a song where you don't know the just keeps and it's just sitting there rocking back and forth going like that plus physical exertion sounds like I don't know how your girlfriend

It sounds like something they do in the military to break you down Yeah, yeah, yeah and then the next album builds you back up again Yeah, yeah, yeah I've only done

I did it once I did a city to surf in Sydney which you run from the middle of the city out to Bondi Beach and that's 14Ks. And I just, I only ran, this was out of choice,

with Frank Stallone's Far From Over in my headphones, Sylvester Stallone's brother. Yeah. Now that is a song you can run to nonstop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Although after, yeah, I think it was probably like 50 plays, it probably gets to the end of its life after that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want to talk about this just quickly because we're talking about fitness and stuff. You and I were – recently we were at a wrap party for a television show that we both did a little bit of work on. Not like a rum DMC. No. So we were there and I was talking to a friend of mine who I had seen for a little while who was also working on the show and we were just catching up.

And next to me there was a waiter came and put down a plate of arancini, a little risotto bowl, which I'm a very big fan of. So I'm just kind of chatting to my mate and kind of, you know, we're casually going back and forth and I'm just kind of, oh, how good is this arancini, eating the arancini. And then after about, you know, half an hour or so he goes, anyway, I'm going to go, you know, get another drink. I'll see you in a bit.

He walks off and then a girl gets up from the other side of the party who's been sitting there, comes over to me and goes, I don't know if you realise this, but I've just sat over there and watched you talk to your mate and eat literally that entire plate of arancini all by yourself. Not a single person had one of them at all. You finished that whole plate off all by yourself. And a lot of people would be embarrassed about that, but as someone-

And you've really offended our sponsor, Muffin Break. Who do have our own chenny-sized muffin plates coming out. Yeah, big apologies to them. But you know what? I don't see a lot of things through to completion. Like I dropped out of an arts degree, so I'm actually pretty stoked on myself for that For someone that does go to functions a fair bit you have to herd the good food

and corner it and monopolise it. It's a jungle out there. You can't assume there's enough food to feed everyone. Enough good food. Not enough arancini.

Arancini is such an easy thing to just eat. I love it but then when you realise it's like risotto cooked into little balls and you look at the numbers and it's like

I reckon I've just eaten two fucking huge bowls of risotto just by myself. And then just, if you were wearing like a deep fried beanie, maybe like that surface area of fried stuff, just after, or I suppose a deep fried bowl is probably a more sensible analogy. But just the thing that overtakes you at a party where like I would never eat that much food

just on the couch. If it's a bite size, you can just – that's why they invented popcorn chicken. People would just eat this as well as other food because if it requires one bite and no effort, then no one's going to register it as they ate any food. Yeah. I remember seeing the ads for popcorn chicken when they first bought it out and thinking that it was a literal combination of both of those things. So did I. They've lost it, mate. They have just gone – they're drunk with power.

But I'm interested. Yeah, I'm still going to try it. The weird thing about popcorn chicken is, and same with McBites, which was sort of McDonald's sort of smaller nuggets. Yeah, yeah. I reckon they deliberately do it to mess up your, like everyone has their meal mathematics.

Like I know if I go to Macca's, what I can, like medium cheeseburger meal, six nuggets. that's a good that's a meal if i'm starving i'll go that's six nugget go to i'll go i love it for the pounder meal and six i do i've recently changed it from medium quarter pounder to medium double cheeseburger yeah right so we're all in the same yeah but i will i'll chuck six nuggets in there as well because it's not not it's not so much the food it's like oh that's the sadness of finishing the burger and being like, oh, no, I've just got chips. This is almost over.

I was having so much fun. It's fun to have nuggets there as well. But everyone kind of knows their nugget number too. Like it's a unique number to every human being. It's sort of like your social security. But you know your nugget number of what you can have. I feel like for me that was like a moment of growing up of growing up of going don't reckon six is going to be enough today i'm gonna jump up to nine i reckon i can do it i don't feel like bouncing on the trampoline

today i think i'm gonna get 12 i reckon i could call dad and get him to reinforce the trampoline i might have a 12 pack but with so we all know our nugget number but then with mcbites and popcorn chicken and stuff if you said to someone, how many can you eat? They'd be like, I don't know, lots. A box? They'd mess with you. They'd do it deliberately because it's just like, yeah, it's this nonspecific chunk of food that you would just keep eating.

I love KFC's thing now of just how they've got their packs that are just like, have a little bit of everything on the menu. Just here's everything we make. It's always like treat pack or indulgence pack because that's how they get away with selling fatty foods. Yeah, the all-stars box. It's a sometimes food. And they make it so cheap that you start to go,

it gets to that price where you go, I think there might be something wrong with that. Yeah. That's a bit too cheap now, I think. Yeah, like the dinner boxes and stuff, they're dangling that bait out there for you to do the maths on it and to be like, one second, two big blacks. We're up $4.05.

We're up $4.05 if we buy it in that box. What about those new ads they've got where it's like the family's in McDonald's and it's like the, have you seen them where it's like the daughter talking to the camera and it's like, no, we come to Macca's and Dad's a bloody goofball, isn't he? And Mum's just over there yelling at Tarquin. And then at the front going, my name's Shauna and this is our family's McDonald's. I want to do one at the Smith Street McDonald's

where it's like a junkie family. At just two in the morning. Yeah, all going crazy at each other. Yeah, I hide behind the pot plant and when the coast is clear, I quickly run up and get a double sundae and then I sprint then I sprint back down the road and eat it at a tram stop.

I go in the toilets every day and see if they've still got that blue light. I go in the drive-thru in the underneath bit and I beg with them to give it to me because it's not safe

to go upstairs. I like the conspiracies. Have you ever heard those people that have their conspiracies about McDonald's like they go you know when they bring out those new burgers? They have the Hawaiian burger.

You know what they do? They make it deliberately a bit shit so they won't keep it. It's like, what are you talking about? But HQ of McDonald's is like the CEO's going, don't forget to fuck that up a bit. This is too good. I'm falling out with McDonald's because they's because they've they've they they had a great chicken burger on the menu that i loved that wasn't it wasn't like a it was just their

crispy chicken uh crispy chicken with like the blt in that series yeah yeah and then they got rid of it and now they've got these like three different chicken burgers that are all kind of like just singular elements of it's a crazy world we're living in at the moment in terms of McDonald's because I mean, it definitely is one of my favourite restaurants, but the days growing up when it was just cheeseburger. Hamburger. Remember hamburger without the cheese?

You know what hamburger is? Hamburger is like when you'd go to the pub and they'd have glasses instead of pots. Like the small... Yeah, yeah. Who's getting this tiny weird version? Who's like, at Mac is like, no, lactose intolerant? Maybe. But even then, it's like, I'm sure there's lactose in other parts of it.

So it's like someone that just is like. If you're a little bit funny about food, don't go to McDonald's. It's like before when we're like, well, if I'm really hungry, I'll go a quarter pounder. It's like, I know we get a hamburger, but if I'm really hungry, I'll have a cheeseburger. Exercise and protein gets me through the day. But we used to have like, there was five or a hamburger, but if I'm really hungry, I'll have a cheeseburger. Exercise and protein gets me through the day. But we used to have like, there was five or six burgers, fillet of fish, which I wasn't interested in. You'd sort of rotate through the others.

You had the McFeast and it was so easy. Now there's a whole other board that you just can't keep up with it. Rotate so often. And the board is so big. This is my gripe with McDonald's. The board is so big. You look up there and go, how much are chips and drinks these days? Oh, they're not even on the board.

Yeah. How do you not even have room for chips and drinks on the board? They're just around. They're just sort of like, you know it. It's been around since the 60s. You'll pay what it is. We got too much Angus and salad and wraps and crispy chicken things, all of which are great meals and foods, but it's crazy.

How long before they give up on Angus? That didn't pan out, really, did it? Yeah, that's the hard... really, did it? Like really. Again, look, maybe this does talk to your point. Maybe that's their version of going we'll go too good to remind people, hey, just stick to the cheeseburger. It's probably the greatest, most classic burger of all time. Sure.

You bite into the Angus and you're like, yeah, it is a bit fancy, but that's not why I came to Mac. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you this much for free. I'm glad I'm not like a kid like having mcdonald's today because now you you know you know what the happy meal used to be burger yeah yeah but now the parents have the option of getting you a fucking bag of apple slices can you think of anything worse i went to my because it's all allergies and like for like

parents this i'm about to have a baby like my wife's pregnant with you in May and I got my first reality check on the weekend of like what awaits us for like school parties and kids wanting just twisties and just normal stuff that you just eat at a party. Went to our little, my niece's third party, third birthday party,

but they're in Bondi in Sydney, right? Which is sort of very, like every kid has an allergy, whether they like it or not. You're not cool unless you have some sort of wheat, nut, gluten. One of the kids there had a soy allergy. So it was like, can't have milk, but can't have soy. Do you have any quinoa milk? Oh my God.

A soy allergy, you can't have soy. Do you have any quinoa milk? Oh, my God. How do you milk a quinoa? A soy allergy, you can't have normal milk as well? With a soy allergy? Because to me, that sounds like, oh, I don't want soy. I'm fine with being allergic to stuff I don't want.

Yeah, exactly. She has a poison allergy, so you can't get any poison. But it's like this world now where it's like you wouldn't even, just as a rule, it's like people have forgotten that allergies are just,

they're the rarities now it's sort of like no definitely no wheat like no wheat or milk like guys this is like remember the food pyramid was like wheat milk eggs that was it like those you cut out two of the main foods yeah like kids are just like definitely not allowed bread and definitely not allowed milk just as a rule like why we just can't have it and then then now they're all – there was dry popped popcorn, there was a fruit bowl, and there was a gluten-free apple cake. Oh, my God. I couldn't be a kid.

I couldn't be a kid. How could you be? Because, like, as a kid, you're fussy. I think most kids are fussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I couldn't live like that. Yeah. It's crazy.

I feel like this is maybe a naive thing to say because I'm sure, like, every generation goes, ah, the bloody kids these days. But I reckon surely this is it. Hey, mates. It's Dasolo here popping in from the edit suite to let you know that unfortunately at this point, Hamish accidentally switched off his microphone and it took us like three minutes to realize what had happened. So we're going to jump ahead.

We only lost a couple of minutes. Carl started talking about trying to buy DVDs in Thailand and then we realised what Hamish had done with the mic. So we're going to pick it up now with old Nigel No Microphone. In Thailand, greatest bit of piracy was the software wall. So DVDs, on to the left, the know like word excel adobe various adobe financial applications but super dodgy like the same level of dodgy as the dvds if you were an accountant or running a business i understand that you'd be looking for savings but if you can't fork out 390 bucks or

whatever it is like the the Microsoft Office package, and you get audited or things go under. Who's going to explain to your clients that you were using pirated software from Thailand? I'm sorry, guys, but I think you'll agree that when you came to visit, I was wearing pretty cool suits. And a different one for each day of the week. Well, I got into this shop,

and the guy starts trying to sell me a suit. The other guy that brought me in sort of waved him away, goes, knocks on the wall. It spins around like a fake bookcase in a movie and there's a secret dungeon of DVDs in there. An absolute secret false door. So I go in there and I'm like, oh, this is awesome. You have original Smurfs, the cartoon.

Yes. You have actual Smurfs in there. So I went in there and I'm like, oh, this is awesome. You have original Smurfs, the cartoon. Yeah, yes. You have actual Smurfs in there. So I went in there and, you know, I'm going, oh, this is great and there were so many in there. I'm like, this is awesome. And then he sort of just like, you know, knocks on the door again and it closes and sort of locks and it's like, he's like, I go, oh, how much are these?

And he goes, oh, they're like this much baht. And I'm thinking, that's a bit more than the street level but no one knows where I am now. So I guess I'm paying whatever this guy wants me to pay. And the voiceover from Saw just came in. I have to do what this guy says. Well, that's the... I mean, but you get what you pay for with a good quality.

I haven't watched them yet. Because I literally just started grabbing and going, I better pay enough to make sure this is worth this guy's while so I can get out of here. But I'm a bit confused by this, why they pay enough to make sure this is worth this guy's while so I can get out of here. That's what... I'm a bit confused by this, why they've got to have it hidden behind a secret door

when they're just selling them out in the gutter anyway. Like, why the secrecy? I have no idea. It's probably just so you get a cool story. They were like giggling going, and they're doing the bookshelf thing, and they love that. Aussies love that.

They think they're being dangerous, even though they don't know we don't have any copyright law here this is very legal for us to be doing he's pointing at me going oh he loved it he loved it he bought 20 DVDs

I'm like I bought 20 DVDs to save my own life to ransom myself it's not so much the money that you spend when you're buying them it's the time investment you think you're going to make

I remember standing in front of those fake ones just going and I'll watch that and I'll watch that and I'll watch Kill Bill even though I've seen it several times and i'll get all of west wing yeah every single i'll get all 100 discs of that yeah that's not a problem i'll get 30 discs of deadwood always wanted to watch that never never a chance no if you're ever a chance to sit

down and watch those yeah that's it i bought a heap this time like a week ago. I've still got a dozen from my trip last year to Thailand. You are only owning them because in your head, it's like a cool fantasy to think that you have a Video Easy or whatever. Yeah. But realistically, like when you get a chance to watch a DVD, everyone does the same thing. You sit down and I go, yeah, look, I mean, I have letters from Iwo Jima

because it was a dollar. Yeah. But I think I'm just going to watch Juno again because I know what I'm getting and that kind of seems like a film I want to watch today. So the other copyright law thing that very much tickled me over there is that they'll use posters and they'll use images of stuff on their ads and whatever

and it doesn't sort of – they don't really care too much or whatever. And there was a tailor there that I felt I should go into because out the front it had a big poster of Hollywood stars. They've got their people in suits because they'll use these fake Armani books in there just to go – Like the poster from Goodfellas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all that stuff and go, you can look like Ray Liotta.

You can look like Joe Pesci. Not really, I don't want to, but anyway. Yeah, the, yeah. All that stuff and go, you know, you can look like Ray Liotta. You can look like Joe Pesci. Not really. I don't want to, but anyway. Yeah, the same way we can give you the haircut at the salon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that sort of stuff. Get a knock-off shine box over there. Yeah, yeah.

Good stuff. Which I'm always tickled by who they choose as the celebrity. So there was this one shop that muchly tickled me because they had a guy and a girl and they had Vin Diesel. And I was like, oh, that's sort of fair enough. You know, he's in pretty big, grossing movies. You know, Too Fast, Too Furious, that checks out. And then there was a lady next to him, and I was like,

oh, I don't immediately understand who that is. Like, why wouldn't they have picked Angelina Jolie or the leading lady of the day, whoever that may be? I had a good look, and it took me, I reckon, a minute, and then I figured out who Vin Diesel's leading lady was out the front of this Taiwanese, not Taiwanese, Thailand tailor and it was the grown-up Winnie Cooper. No way.

Yes. What's she doing? I don't know. Being Googled and stuck on a poster. She was the one person they paid for. We can actually afford that image. It's $9. Vin Diesel, no chance.

Wow. Isn't that a weird choice though to go Vin Diesel and then the person that we all know is the image of a 12-year-old but don't really know what she looks like now. Well, that's like when I think I've told this before but when I was on PP Island, which is like near where the same region where they filmed the Leonardo DiCaprio movie, The Beach.

Sure. And they've got an ad And they know it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll let you know. They've got an ad where it's like you can go and do a tour of it and the poster is like a map of the region and a little arrow pointing to the beach and then superimposed over that is a photo of Leo DiCaprio, but from like

What's Eating Gilbert Grape? Do not take the mushrooms in this area. We cannot stress it enough. Leo, it hasn't been the same. Who's eating Maurice mushrooms? Yeah, we've got a sweet hut down here that you can burn down in the middle of the night just to complete the tour.

Well, guys, I think that is just about all the time we have on the Little Dum Dum Club for today. Hamish, Blake, thank you so much for joining us. Loved it, boys. Thank you. This has been a great time. Now, let's all go to Macca's. Buff and breaks on me.

Carl, what have we done on the show? What have we got to plug? Have I got a show to plug anymore at this time? Maybe. Let's see. Do it anyway. Let's do it anyway. Guys, Adelaide, please.

I have got a show on December the 3rd on Tuesday night at 7pm at the Crown and Anchor Hotel. It's my show. Carl Chandler has literally 1.5 million jokes. So, yeah, hey, it'll be awesome to see all the Adelaide dum-dummers down there. And it'll be fun. You can find the info on our new website. On our new website. LittleDumDumClub.com.

It's finally up. It's finally working. There's finally stuff on it. Yep, yep. It's good. Check it out. MuffinBreak.com forward slash working. There's finally stuff on it. Yep, yep. It's good. Check it out. Muffinbreak.com forward slash friends. Friends of the muff.

So, Ronnie Chang will be launching that at some stage. Yep, yep. So, yeah, go and check that out. Tickets are available on that website. You can actually find our stuff without scrolling through the history of the internet now. It was the old website Netscape. We were trying to get Netscape. We couldn't figure it out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, and we need to give a big shout out to Joel Goodman who's done that all for us. He's done such a great job. Auxiliary Design is his company. Look him up. Get him to do a website for you because he did a fucking great job with this.

It's an awesome website. Yeah, yeah. Thanks to him. Yeah. Thanks very much for listening, guys, and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.