The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 167 - Anne Edmonds & Michael Chamberlin

Episode Date: December 17, 2013

The Mumcast, 1.5 Million Whoppers and Fourteen Dollar Tickets.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mates. Have you listened to our live third birthday podcast yet? You haven't? Well, get yourself over to littledumbdumbclub.com and check it out right now. It's an awesome show. We've got Michelle Laurie, Adam Richard, Luke McGregor, Josh Earle and Nick Cody phoning in live from Las Vegas. It's such a fun show. It is not part of this regular iTunes feed. It's a separate download. It's pay what you want so you can get it for free. But if you enjoy the show every week for free and you feel like chucking in a little bit of money for the episode, that would be awesome. It's up to you, but that would be great and it would really help us to keep this thing going for free every week.

So get on that littledumbdumbclub.com. Also, if you're in Brisbane, I'm going to be there March next year doing my brand new show, Dreamboat, from March 4th till 9th at the Brisbane Powerhouse. Tickets have just gone on sale. I'd love to see you guys there. I always love doing the Brisbane Comedy Festival. It's going to be so much fun and you can find tickets and details for that at my website, TommyDassolo.com.

Okay, on with the episode. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting next to me is the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. We're here with our friends.

Yes. And it's a great time so far, isn't it? We've got TV snacks. We do have TV snacks. People are going to be annoyed because we were chewing last week, I think. A lot of bad reviews about the chewing, I noticed. The phone lines lit up. Yep. People being offended in their ears.

In their ears. By the sound of chocolate and peanuts being combined in a mouth. I did notice back when I edited a lot of the sound of chocolate and peanuts being combined in a mouth. I did notice back when I edited a lot of like the sound of – like when you can hear like saliva, like the sound of that is too – Oh, is it that bad? Yeah. That used to drive me crazy when I was growing up because my mums are really like loud chewer.

When you listen to your mum's podcast when you're growing up, she'd be chewing away. Yeah, the mum cast that she did every week. Yeah, just that really, when people have a really wet chew, do you know what I mean? But when people chew and you can really hear the saliva going around in there. Yeah. You know, you're obviously lucky that you don't have anyone like that in your life

because it's the worst. It's my, I know you haven't introduced me yet. Hi everyone. Please. It's Edo. Oh, sorry. I thought that was just Tommy talking. Keep going.

Sorry. Well, let's introduce our first guest for today. Please welcome back on the podcast, Anne Edmonds. Thank you. I was just going to say quickly that that's my trigger. Eating noises are my trigger that if I ever massacre like 30 people at close range in an office, it'll be because of chewing. Oh, that's what will set you off. I hate it.

I'm like, I can't. But all forms or like just crunching or? Like if I can, just chewing, just eating noises. Yeah. And if I'm in a lift or something and I can hear it, I just honestly nearly lose my mind. Anyway, thanks for having me. But the other one is, and this sounds almost maybe even worse

than what I said before, but my mum's also got a bit of a wet talk. So you can even hear, like when she's talking, you can hear the... How wet is your mum? Well, I'm just... Please. You've just said two things. That's all I know of your mum at the moment. Please.

Our other guest is desperate to chime in on this one. Our other guest has just to chime in on this one. Our other guest has just crawled up inside himself. Well, we should introduce him. We are currently very rudely podcasting in his house and not welcoming him in yet. Please welcome back in the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Michael Chamberlain. Yay! Hey there.

Now, what would you like to say about my mum's wet mouth? Can we get off Tommy's mum? Yeah, there's been enough. Shout out to all the listeners who've come across from the mum cast. She's very kindly started plugging the little dum-dum club at the end of all of her episodes, and I appreciate that a lot. I could talk about your mum for hours, mate. I don't doubt that.

I don't know if I've ever met your mum. I think I've met your dad. I think you would have met... Might have seen them in the distance or at a gig or... Yeah. Or maybe down at one of the clubs that she works at. Yeah. Oh, you've walked into that.

Podcast clubs, you mean. Yeah, one of those podcasting clubs. What are you like with the sound of people chewing and stuff? I can't stand it, yeah. You really? Yeah. I'm very conscious of my own chewing and so always at a distance are you more of a dry chewer or wet chewer uh i don't

think i've got a real description but i'm i'm big on well my my mother was huge on table here we go on table manners and the like so i'm very conscious She'd get furious if Well one way to raise her I'd hold my knife the wrong way And just for fun And she'd be like She couldn't handle it Yeah so she's big on manners and the like

In terms of that regard I never had that I never had my parents caning me about Proper way to hold cutlery You can tell To my detriment I think Like my parents caning me about a proper way to hold cutlery. You can tell. To my detriment, I think. Like my girlfriend pointed out recently when I eat cereal. She should have taught you the proper way to podcast.

When I eat cereal. Let's see. Let's get out. Okay. I'll show you how I hold a spoon. It's like, it's barbaric. Guys, we'll take photos of this. You'll be able to see this on the Facebook page.

This is going to be amazing. Okay. So hang on. That's, no, wait. Let me, if I'm getting a spoon, I kind of, I do a bit of this. This is going to be amazing. Okay, so hang on. No, wait. If I'm getting a spoon, I do a bit of this, so I'm kind of holding it in a weird, I don't know. What are you doing?

It's like a pen or something. Yeah, grip it like a pen, which isn't normal. Show me how you eat. If you were going to use that spoon and eat soup, how would you do it? So the other thing I know you're not meant to do. So I get right. I try and make the spoon travel the least amount of distance as possible. See, I was taught in my household that you have to eat soup that way,

the opposite way of – Oh, you scoop it out. You're not allowed to spoon it towards you. You have to spoon it away. Why? Are you down with that? I imagine that would probably be right. I don't know why. I imagine it's flicking it away from your clothing.

Guys, everyone listening, we are going to send you a free spoon from Chambo's cupboard just so you can act this out for yourself. Or I will come around and spoon you for free. This actually feels like what your mum's podcast would be. Yeah. Eating etiquette. Yeah. But what's the, so what's the logic in spooning it away from you?

I don't know. I don't know. That's just a. Because like Chambo said, so it's not going to come back at you. Yeah, I'd imagine so. But you want it to come back at you. You're trying to get it into you. Yeah.

Like it's going to end up in you at some point. We're still talking about your mum, aren't we? Isn't there a Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs scene where she teaches them how to eat soup properly? Or an outtake? Ah, an outtake. An outtake. From The Bloopers Reel.

Well, I don't know if it's one of those things where they didn't colour it in and they have the scene and they just didn't go to the whole left. I'm not... I didn't know you were such a Disney fan that you were chasing down the B-sides of Snow White. Those silly animators are just mucking around at the end. She's sitting there with her seven dwarves and they're all licking the bowl or whatever

and just shoving their face in. I remember this. There's a song about it, isn't there? A song about... Email the podcast and tell us if there's a song about it i think there's a spinning away yeah we could fucking stop this recording and look it up where's the where's the fun in that well it's interesting that you bring that up uh film buff that you are because we're sitting here basking in the glow of the two television sets that you have in your lounge room

look at that um did neither of you notice that no it's It's crazy. One's an old school. By that logic, how many TVs do you have at your place? That's not impressive. Are you doing old school things where you're taping from one VHS to the other? Is this a private dubbing business? I've fallen on hard times, so I've been selling a lot of DVDs out the back entrance. I'm going to say I saw some of your work in Thailand. Isn't this because today,

because one of them is like a sort of a flat screen model and the other one, and we're doing this, is it today that they finally turned off the analogue signal in Melbourne? It's December 10, is that right? Yeah, so today is the last day that you can have that TIAC. No, I just checked it earlier when you were getting ready and it still works. I've got the digital box next to it.

Yeah, one's an older TV, one's a newer one. My sister gave me the newer one. You know, she was throwing it out and so I thought, oh, I can watch two football games at the same time. So that's primarily why I have it on a Saturday night

and maybe Sunday there's a crossover too. Just looking at your collection, I thought it was so you could watch Pirates of the Caribbean 1 and 2 at the same time. Yeah. See if they sync up. And then the Shane Crawford

Uncensored documentary. What is it? Access All Areas. Shane Crawford from 19... No, 2004, I think. I bet that would have held up well.

Yeah, you can just watch a Foxtel match on that one and then watch a 2007 match on that one. So, Chapo's really into making this podcast interactive. Every time there's a chance for him to get up

and point something out or grab something in his house. And be incredibly lonely At the same time So he watched two games This is some of the added extras Just like the snow white spoon Incident

Hey I've I got a haircut last week I'm leaving It's really boring Can we talk about soup again Sorry we'll get back to the spoons Yeah

Yep Yep Looks good Thank you Yeah it looks great Didn't notice Yeah well that's a sign Of a good haircut I think Can we talk about soup again? Can we talk about soup again? Yep, yep. Looks good. Thank you. Yeah, it looks great. Didn't notice. Yeah, well, that's a sign of a good haircut, I think,

when you don't notice too much. But I, and, you know, it should have been a good haircut considering where I went. I went to the Doncaster Shopping Mall. Oh, yeah. The home of hair. Yeah. And that's where Vidal Sassoon first started out. And I went... what a reference.

30 points on the board for that one. Vidal Sassoon. Jesus Christ. In the food court. And then he worked his way up to the open-up hairdressing. He was clearing plates of La Paqueta in there. So I went there and I thought, I'm just going to get one of those cheap cuts, one of those places. And I actually went, there's a place out there, and I don't I'm just going to get one of those cheap cuts, one of those places.

And I actually went, there's a place out there and I don't know whether there's a new phenomenon. There's a place where, you know, like in the middle bit of the shopping mall where you start to have little stalls and whatever. Like not in proper shops. Like Sunglass Hut. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. In the middle. Yeah, they're farming out Every available Inch of space

There's no proper walls Or anything Well they've got a Hairdresser there now No way Yeah So you're having Your hair cut in the outer

I don't like that Don't like that at all Well I looked at it And went that's dumb So I'm going to have a go at it So instead of being able to You know be hidden away With a private little

Cutting of your hair I'm just sitting there Next to the Foxtel guys trying to hawk off. Yeah, interesting. $70 a month or whatever. So I'm just sitting there exposed in the middle of it. And I went in there and I sat down and the lady sat me down, put the towel or whatever it was around me and then got me settled and then just looked in the mirror and looked at me and then went,

around me and then got me settled and then just looked in the mirror and looked at me and then went like first word she said she goes so you're from the church oh you thought it was rad dad and i went no and she goes ah and then just walked away and she walked away and like fiddled with all combs or whatever it was. And I'd just been stewing on it for like a minute. Like that's the only thing she said. Then she came back and then started to set up again and then just didn't say anything more and just said, so how would you like your hair cut?

And I said, so I don't look like I'm from the church? So she's tried to do like a tech support thing, like just turn it off and then turn it back on again. She's tried to do that with the conversation, just walk away for a minute and then come back and it's going to be like... I thought it might have been some sort of secret password or whatever the two church members have been.

Yeah. You know, like she was supposed to meet this guy from the Scientology church at a certain time. I come in and go, Cruisy wants to give you this message. Yeah. Or something. It's code for a drug deal or something. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe like the eagle has landed. Yeah. You're from the church. Yeah. Yes. Okay, here's your smack. Here's some heroin in the middle of this shopping centre. That's really weird.

I was telling my girlfriend about this the other day because I get very stressed about going to the hairdressers because it's a lot of talking. A lot of unwanted talking. What about this for a business idea? A lot of Bible reading in the one I went to. A hairdresser where the hairdressers are all mute. They're physically unable to talk.

What's the silent disco? Silent hairdressers? Yeah. Everyone's got headphones on. I'm surprised that's not that someone hasn't made that a business yet, that someone hasn't turned that into a thing. I will repeatedly have the same idea over and over, which is I'm going to go to the hairdresser and,

oh, yeah, I don't want to talk. I'll just put my iPhone in, my earbuds in. Oh, you can't do that. Oh, no, that's going to get snipped off. That's going to get snipped off That's going to get Snipped off immediately It's just so rude Does anyone do that?

Have you ever heard Of anyone do that? You couldn't Because it'd get cut Oh true There'd be some wild man Out there who's tried it on Yeah

You guys are good But you only have to sit there For what? 20 minutes if that? Yeah I have to sit there For like 3 hours Because of the colouring

And everything that goes on Do you get colouring in your hair? Yeah Thanks I sit there for like three hours because of the colouring and everything that goes on. Do you get colouring in your hair? Yeah. Thanks. I don't know how it works. Yeah. So I have to sit there for ages and ages and ages. At least you get a break.

You get a break halfway through for the colour to like sink in. Oh, yeah. And you get left alone. You get left alone. You get a cup of tea and you get a magazine. But then it's back on and you're struggling by the time it's blow-dry time. What are you paying? What are you paying for a haircut?

About $180. Dude, that's a lot of money. That's what girls pay. More than $20, I get angry. Do you? You get adjust cuts. Also, sometimes, I remember paying $45 for one and it was just a barber shop. It wasn't anything fancy.

And I was, I thought he'd said, I think, no, 40. I thought he said 14. So I gave him a 20. And he just kind of looked at me going, what are you doing? Yeah. And I was, I was $40. 40. I was outraged.

Yeah. That is bullshit. I paid 70 something a couple of months ago. Wow. But I didn't realize how much it was i just went it was like a nice looking hairdresser my girlfriend said oh this is a good place and i went in there and you know just one of those things that they don't tell you how much it is there's not a they want to look nice they don't have a price yeah so you just get it and

then they go oh it's this much and you go oh okay yeah and then i was but i was sitting next to peter costello oh there you go oh well that was something. Did you check the receipt and it's like that's built in? That's like a built in cost? The Costello seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 50 bucks. Man, I wonder how much it would have been if there was an actual sitting member at the moment.

You'd be paying Edo prices for that. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Let me ask you this. I'll start with you, Edo. Okay. When you get asked at the hairdresser, as you inevitably do, when you get asked, what do you do? What do you say oh

what's your answer um sometimes it depends on the mood i'm in if i'm in the mood to talk about comedy i'll say i'm a comedian if not i would just say i'm never in that mood by the way i'll say i work in an office yeah and hope for no more and then they'll say what do you do and i go project management oh great and sometimes i'll go what sort, what do you do? And I go, project management. Oh, great. And sometimes I'll go, what sort of projects do you manage? And I'll go, community health. Right. That's my standard kind of response. That's a pretty intricate lie that you're working on.

Well, it's kind of what I used to do before I was a comedian. So I feel like I've got – You know enough if they do press you. Yeah, if they go deeper. Yeah. But who wants to go deeper in that like once they get the community just delete that community health so like what's the sickest what's what's the sickest child you've ever had to deal with oh i had one in with cancer last week

that'll get just straight to the haircut it's 180 but actually on that i've always wanted to say back to them and they say what do you do That'll get just straight to the haircut. That's $180. But actually on that, I've always wanted to say back to them and they say, what do you do? After that, I want to go, what do you do? That's great. And if they go, oh, I cut hair. You go, really?

This is what you do all the time? Yeah. How long have you done that for? That's really great. I reckon we should adapt that. We should adopt that. What do you say, Chamo? Because I reckon you'd be one that'd be very hesitant to say,

I am a professional comedian. I say I'm a mirth giver. No, I just say, look, I'm just this guy that just provides smiles to people's faces and it's just really good to make people feel happy. Okay. No, I say truth giver. How many fake answers are you going to give before we get to social fabric? Well, fake answers, comedian then.

I say writer usually for most things. And then usually they say, what do you write? And I say, oh, columns and yeah, try and stop it there. See, that's my default. You are Dolly Doctor. That's what you should say. Shh, don't tell everyone. See, I haven't thought through as far as like Edo or even you.

So, like I'll say, you know, writer and they'll go, oh, what kind of stuff do you write? And I'll go, oh, comedy. Like I get one question and the whole thing falls apart. Yeah, sure, sure. Oh, that must be fun. Oh, man. Where do you do that?

You never do that. I think I was telling you this. I flyered for myself. I did a show in Adelaide, which we'll get to. And I flyered in Rundle Street Mall. I've done that. And I only did it for a little bit because I just thought I've got half an hour. So I did it for a little bit.

And I'm just saying, comedy, guys, comedy. If anyone wants to see a comedy show tonight. I'm just handing them out. And this guy doubled back and went tell us a joke then and i went nah i don't think so he's like go on come on what's wrong just tell us one joke and i was like oh this guy's in a weird mood they go all right and i'll tell him one joke but he was like bracing himself to not laugh at it like this was a competition that was gonna it was happening at the time so i do the joke and he just like had this iron will on his face like nothing's gonna move here mate and i'm like all right here's the joke here's another line to the joke and he's

like i mean all right mate you've won there well done and then his girlfriend comes back and goes oh what's going on what's going on i said oh no you you're on your way out with your boyfriend here aren't you oh you're gonna have a r time. He seems like he's in a great mood. So, you know, go and paint the town red, guys. Have a great night. And he was like, because I just had to say that, like he'd been really, like he was going to beat this comedian. And then he's like, at the end he goes, when I sort of shamed him a little bit, he sort of goes, no, that was a good joke. See ya.

And just walked away. Your joke shamed him. Yeah. You actually got one of those acts though that could work quite well for the tell us a joke situation. Yeah. Apparently not. Compared to me.

Because you do have one line, two line. How about a four minute story? Yeah. Yeah. But you could actually punch it out pretty quickly. Yeah, but I reckon I've now done that two or three times and it's never gone well. Okay.

Because it's just one person. Like there's nothing worse than telling a joke to a person that you've never met and then they're just going, all right. And you go, okay, right, well now I'm bad in the face of this guy I've never met. You need a default, and this is what I've always wanted to do but never gotten around to it.

You need a default joke joke. Yeah. Something that's's not from your act it's not from anyone's act that's like yeah a man walks into the doctors and goes show us your dick or you know whatever something not as bad guy comes up to another guy on the street and asks for a joke and he tells him to fuck off that'd be good if you just keep doing that to people now but without the context of the original that's such a funny way to fly as well. Can you come to my show? Okay, what's the joke? Guy comes up and says, fuck off.

Oh, all right. Seven o'clock, was it? Tickets are 40 bucks, all right, I'm there. Sounds awesome. I had one in Edinburgh on a day that I was almost at the end of the road, you know, emotionally, and a guy, I was flyering, and a guy got the flyer and looked at looked and he's like, oh, that doesn't look like you.

And I was like, oh, it's me. You know, because I often get that because you put makeup on when you're a girl. And Tommy, so you know. And sometimes when you're a boy as well. And he said, oh, do the face on the flyer and I'll think about coming to the show. And I didn't have any sales. I was at rock bottom and I did it. I did it like with the hand actions and everything.

And I was just like a tear rolled out of my eye. Which would have matched up with the flyer so he wouldn't have gone. Do you reckon he came? Do you reckon that got him over the line? No, I don't reckon. I like to think that he went around to everybody doing the flyer. That's a true. Come on, Arj, do it.

Do the poster art. Scratch the on, Arj, do it. Do the poster art. Come on, scratch the back of your head, do it. And so did you have to put the blackface make-up on really quickly? That's a true connoisseur of comedy that's like, it's not about the jokes, it's not about the performance, it's all about the bloody facial picture. Yeah, yeah. That's what I wanted proof of.

It was really degrading. That's a great photo, I say, for someone to go through during the festival runs and just getting somebody to match up the flyer picture to the real reality of the man in front of the Melbourne Town Hall handing him out. And do it at the end of the festival too. It's a few months later, they're fatter. Or do it at the end of final night at the Hi-Fi Bar.

Yeah, yeah. Or I am. I'm claiming that idea. Copyright. That's going to be out in 2014. Look for it. Look for it on my website. That is a moneymaker.

Yeah. So I went to Adelaide. Thanks to everyone from Adelaide that came along to see the show, all the friends of the show that turned out. I had an interesting way of getting there. As Tommy, you know. Yep. I did.

I know scant details. Yes. I missed my flight. Have you guys ever missed a plane? Yeah. Really? Yeah, a few times. Yeah.

Okay. I had a great one recently, but sorry, this is your story. No, you go. You go. Oh, well, I was in Sydney and I was flying out at about 9am and so I picked up Friend of the Show Harley Breen along the way to the airport. And then I got to – I'd been using Airbnb. So I left the keys in the flat, got my bags out of there. Got to the airport and realised I had left my laptop bag.

And I wasn't sure if I'd left it in the street or in the flat. Oh, the worst. And so the cabbie rushed me back to the to the apartment i couldn't find the bag still wasn't aware of whether it was in this in the apartment or i'd been stolen off the street i tried to contact the owner he was asleep up in queensland the neighbor was there i had his number and i was like i don't want to call him at eight o'clock on a sunday morning i don't want to do that i don't want to do that i gave it till 9 on a Sunday morning. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. I gave it till 9 a.m. Just kind of sat there.

It was raining. The phone was running out of power. I tried him at 9 a.m. He was like, yeah, sure. In his pajamas. He let me in. The laptop bag was there. I got onto online.

I booked a new flight. Then I found out a day later that my flight originally had been delayed for about an hour and a half. So I could have got onto it anyway. I didn't even think to check the status. I was in such a mad panic. I was just like, you are the biggest loser of all time. Yeah. Like, I kind of just self-attacked.

How did you find out that it was delayed? A friend of mine was on the flight and said they were calling my name. Oh, really? It was kind of fun. I wanted to be there for that. Yeah, yeah. And then Mr. Chamberlain. I've had my name called plenty of times.

Yeah, including this time. In court. Including this time. How many flights have you missed? This is the first one. What? Yeah. No.

Yeah, honestly. It was a new thing for me. Really? Yeah, it's a surprise. I know, I am surprised as well. Didn't you tell me that you're just progressively getting more and more loose? Yeah, loose with it. I'm very cocky with airports now.

I just go, you know, they say get to the gate like 20 minutes, 30 minutes before. I'm like, nah. Nah, I'm getting there two minutes before. You know, like when I went to Thailand a couple of weeks ago with mates, everyone was nearly in the plane and I went, I might go and get a pizza. And I went and got a pizza and my mates were like, don't be an arsehole. We're getting in the plane.

No, no, you're going to miss the plane. I'm like, nah, that looks like a good barbecue chicken pizza over there. I'm going to go and get that. So I went to catch this plane. It was a 7am flight. So you can imagine that is a, you know know it's a hard one to catch because it means you've got to get there at 6 which means you've got to get up at

I don't know 5 or whatever it is to like you know go in there get on the Skybus especially because I'm trying to

public transport and whatever so you know you can see on paper that you know there's a big chance of me missing that flight from getting there late

because it's well I actually got there an hour early I actually got to the airport an hour early and I just fucked around the airport oh my god and that's how are you serious just having cocky pizzas had pizzas another one i got there i got there an hour early and then went oh yeah i've got plenty of time went to hungry jack's had breakfast hungry jack's

sitting around this is all right just looking, oh, the shops are open. Cool. Just looking around. So they're calling out your name and you're there on level eight of the Simpsons arcade game. Just trying to clock it. Yeah. 40 bucks deep. So I'm eating. I'm halfway through the Whopper and I get the call saying.

That's not breakfast. What? No, I never eat the breakfast meals. All right. Fair enough. So I get my name read out. My name read out. And I go, oh, okay.

You know, I've still got plenty of time. But I mishear the announcement. So I'm on my way to gate 40. And they go, Carl Chandler, report to the gate. Anyway, Adelaide, 7 a.m., gate 8. And I went, oh, what? Gate 8? And then I race all the way to the other end of the airport

as they're closing a gate. And I go, oh, Adelaide? And they go, yeah, 7am? Yeah, oh, you just got here in time. There's just one person left. Chandler? No, that's not it. Oh, is it Qantas?

No, no, Jetstar? Oh, this is not you. I'm like, well, where's my gate? And they go, gate 40. Oh, so is not you. I'm like, well, where's my gate? They go, gate 40. Oh, so I was in the right place to start with. So then I go to run back and they go, and I said, can you ring the gate 40 just to tell them I'm on my way?

And they go, nah. Yeah, I'm with them on this one. We could. Nah, we saw you at Hungry Jack's. I slid in my hand we will if you give us a slice of pizza so I run all the way back and there's like

someone in high views at the desk I'm like I'm not getting on this am I and they go nah and they go I'll just go back to the desk go back to the Jetstar desk and they'll sort you out

for a new flight it's 7am you know so I go back there and say oh this is what's happened they go yeah okay we'll sort you out there'll new flight. It's 7am, you know. So I go back there and say, oh, this is what's happened. They go, yeah, okay, we'll sort you out. There'll be another flight. Hang on. No, there's not.

There's no more flights for the rest of the day. So they have two at 7 and then no more. Yeah, yeah. That's it. It was so confusing because they had two flights at the same time. That's what's on each end of the airport. So they go, no, it's all booked out the rest of the day. I'm like, how popular is Adelaide these days?

I wouldn't have thought that popular. But anyway. They've got Dum Dum fans flying all booked out the rest of the day. I'm like, how popular is Adelaide these days? I wouldn't have thought that popular, but anyway. They've got the Dum Dum fans flying over to see the last ever screening of Carl Chandler Has 1.5 Million Jokes. Exactly. Carl Chandler Has 1.5 Million Whoppers, and that's why he missed his fucking flight. Yes.

The fat asshole. Where'd that come from? Mum wouldn't approve of that. That's very impressive. There we go. This on the Mumcast. So I go, oh go oh well can you sort me out for another flight

and they go yeah no worries like tomorrow 9am like oh god alright so then I had to pay another fee to do that

and whatever so then I get back on the Skybus and I realised that if you were just looking at my adventures on my receipts bloody love it

on my receipts I love it out there it just says 6am, Skybus to Tullamarine, 6.30, Hungry Jacks, 7am, Skybus back to

the city. It's a couple of degrees warmer out in Tullamarine. It's just much nicer. Yeah, the burgers are better

at Tullamarine. And it's absolutely freshest. The beef's just been flown in. Been fried up. Some foreign beef out there. It just looks like I've gone so much out of my way to have a shit-ass breakfast. Let me ask you this.

When you go back the next day for your 9am flight, you walk in the door, you checked in, what's the first thing you've done? What did I do? You went back, didn't you? No, I don't think I had. Oh, really? Yeah.

I thought, you know what, I'm going to be... You just stood at the gate, at the door of the gate. No. Well, you know what happened? They gave me a ticket and when I go through, I realised that they'd given me the ticket, which I hadn't had for quite a while. They gave me one of the tickets in the emergency aisles. So then, you know, when they have to say to say to you you know are you prepared to do this you know

blah blah and they give that to me and i go what because they gave me that ticket the day before and i'm like what part of me being too fucking dumb to catch my plane makes you think that i should be in charge of people saving people's lives is the plane goes down. Yeah, competency is the most important part of that. And then age and then willingness. Yeah. But Mr Chandler, we've heard you've got 1.5 million jokes. Maybe you could just make the mood a bit lighter

while we plummet to our death. Hang on, hang on. Tell us one of those jokes first. No, fuck off. You don't look like you want the ticket. Do the face. Are you happy to open the door if need be? Yeah, I'm happy to do that.

Okay, well, here's the door. Try it out, mate. Give us one of your safety procedures right now. Yeah, will you be happy to rip this door out to help people flood out of the place? Well, once I finish this double cheeseburger, maybe, guys. Oh, man. That's so dumb. That is.

That's maybe. Oh, man. So dumb. That is – that's maybe – and I'm sure the statistics nuts that listen to this show can tell us how many times I've said this. I'm sure it's many, but that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of you doing. We've got a new champion. That is incredible. And just – but you know what?

You make it – like this is an interesting thing that we were talking about before with having two flights at the same time. I'm baffled when you're searching for, you're looking up, you're doing one of those websites that compares flights and there's a Jetstar one at 7 and then a Tiger one at 7.15 and you're like, what are they, flying along next to each other? Aren't you looking in the windows and just like a train? There was about probably 100, 200 metres between the two gates for the Qantas and the Jets. I'm like, is that the distance between the two planes?

Does Qantas, because you're playing a bit more, do they know a better way to go? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we going the back way? Yeah. Yeah, you save on tolls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we've got like a local that knows all the shortcuts.

Yeah. Who knows what goes up there in the sky, what goes on, eh? Yeah, we've got like a local that knows all the shortcuts Who knows what goes up there in the sky, what goes on, eh? Yeah, crazy Can you delete that as well? Certainly not this guy, he's too busy chomping on a cheeseburger Yeah, chompy Down on the ground Sorry, go on So when I got there, I realised another dumb thing So I'd sold tickets online to this show

And now because you've had to buy two flights That's another dumb thing. So I'd sold tickets online to this show. And now because you've had to buy two flights, financially the trip is an absolute write-off. Which explains earlier in the episode why I was flying on the street. So I go there and I realise, I look at my tickets at the last minute, I look at the tickets sold and then I look at the money that's come in because you can check that on the website I've gone through. And I went, why is this not adding up very well?

Like, I should be making more money out of this. And I'm like, I just couldn't figure it out. I was looking, I just could not figure it. And then I realised, I looked at one and what I'd done was, I know, tickets were $15, right? And then there was like group bookings. And I was like, for group bookings, what, for four or more, I'll make them $14 to make it, you know, a bit more like some sort of incentive to have a group or whatever.

Yeah. And then I've looked at it and gone, oh, no, I've made that so that if there's four or more, you pay $14 total. So someone had figured that out. Someone had gone to buy tickets and figured that out and gone, oh, and just bought a heap of tickets. Who does that? Yeah. And then so that all got in for like $3 each. So it was like, oh.

Were they scalping them on the streets? No, no. There was like. Also a pack of four tickets is $14. Yes. Right. Oh, wow. So then one guy, one guy had figured that out and then gone,

had obviously got like another seven of his mates because eight tickets have been sold. So he'd got seven guys going, hey, come see this show. It's only $3. And they've been like, what is it? Who cares? It's $3. Let's just all go.

Wow. It's probably someone that's listening right now that's giggling away. Well, that's it. Because I brought it up in the show. I thought, because I found out just before the show. So I'm like, I'm going to bring this out and shout it out. So we get halfway through the show and I'm like, this show's going pretty good. Everyone happy?

Everyone's like, yeah. And I'm like, so you paid 15 bucks. Pretty good value. Yeah. Well, where's Michael Rogers or whatever his name was? Because you've paid three bucks each and you've dragged in 70 of your mates to bloody watch it for three bucks. You're getting your money's worth, aren't you, mate?

Yay. How about your beers after the show? What do you reckon? And all the guys that have been dragged along are like, yeah, he did do that. Look at this guy. Yeah, yeah, great. And I said – Very interesting meeting of like salesmanship and performance coming together

here in a very odd way. And then the guy that had bought them was like, I did a shout out going, you know, you're obviously, you listen to the show and he's like, no. I'm like, well, how did you find this? Like, did you just Google dumb fuck selling tickets that don't know really how to sell tickets and found me and then just bought tickets? But the guy was like, no, no, no. So I don't know how he would have found me because it wasn't advertised anywhere. Dumb cunt selling tickets. Yeah.

And then you look on the booking form and his last name is Mr. Try Booking. Yeah, yeah. He is. Yeah, it was on Try Booking, just hopeless attempt at booking. Well, this does explain something because when you came back from your Perth run, your one-off show there, I said, how did it go? And you said, great, big turnout, lots of fans and, you know, it was good. Made a good amount of money for doing one night there.

It was good. And then when I asked you about Adelaide, I was like, how did you go? You're like, yeah, good. There are a good number of people there. Yeah, yeah. And then the end. There's no mention of the finances. It was fine.

It was fine. But, yeah, because I sort of think, I don't reckon those eight people were coming if it wasn't $3. Yeah, that's true. But I've had that with shows where you do a discount or you give away some comps or whatever and then I've made the mistake in a show of mentioning that on stage and everyone else who's paid full price, they're going,

what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. These guys getting in for free? That's bullshit. And aren't the people that come for free such terrific audience members? Oh, the worst. Yeah, they can. I've had some good experiences in the last year.

I've had people be very, very thankful. And then I've, yeah, just the opposite. This is free. You must be shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very, very angry about the investment of time, which is really, for some people, not worth anything. How come you were going there a day early, Carl? I was just going to do another gig, which I then had to cancel.

It's a long time waiting around. No big deal, just a bit of extra money. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't. Just good to give a new guy a go. Greg Fleet filled in for me. Yeah, sure.

Were I in your position, I would have used that opportunity to stay at one of the airport hotels for the night. That's kind of my dream. I don't know if I'd want to book in. I didn't want to pull that emergency cord at 7am. Yeah.

They're expensive though. That would have made me more likely to do it of like the insanity of just spending a whole day there. Yeah, but that would be extra insane because you're getting in at 7am

and going, can I book a room in the Formula One? And they're like, yeah, no worries, just sit in the foyer for five hours. Yeah, but you can go back

and stroll around those shops that you're such a big fan of. Oh yeah, it was pretty sweet. By the time I check in, leave my bags there and go back, get my Hungry Jacks, look around at the Cook Eye store,

get the paper. Yeah, there's an off-campus McDonald's that you can go, there's an off campus McDonald's that you can go there's that one that you can go and have a walk around

go to the Tiger Terminal it's not much there but you know it's something to do walk around barely at

some point if you're desperate I like airports I mean obviously I'm trying to

bring every bit of goodness out of it before I hopped on that plane there's a

website you might want to check out which is about living in the airport and like the best airports to live in. Like if you have to be there for an extended amount of time and where to go and where the

best places to sleep are and stuff like that. You should check it out. Yeah, that's a good idea. You could go and just have holidays in airports. Do they have – I think I've bought this – we've talked about this before but like a hairdresser at the airport. Oh. You ever see that?

Why aren't there more like practical things like that there? That's actually not a bad idea. Yeah. I'm sure I've said that before. I've never heard that before. But that seems insane. You get a massage. There must be an airport somewhere in the world that has.

Because that is too crazy for that to not exist somewhere. Because when you've got two hours, three hours, whatever it is, you're just wasting time. If you could knock off a few things off the to-do list. Yeah, exactly. See, it's interesting because I'm like – And that would make it an extra convenient place for those dodgy meetings at hairdressers like I had where there's code words. Flight straight in.

Are you from the church? Just get around the security. Just get away from the sniffer dogs. Well, it's interesting you say about you've become cocky with airports because I'm the opposite. I'm always very stressed about getting there way too early but what i have become cocky with because i went years without ever getting a parking fine and in the last six months i've gotten like a dozen of them something's like switched over in my brain where i've just gone crazy and now i'm just getting them non-stop to the point where the other day me and my

girlfriend were driving around trying to find a park in fitroy and I'm like, here I'll do it. And she's like, this is someone's driveway. Like you've just given up. No wonder you're getting fines all the time. But yeah, I've become completely like non-vigilant about it. Yeah, I feel like I've got the cheat sheet for airports. Although I think this is going to bring me back in line a little bit because I hate that thing where people are lining up to get on the plane.

It's awful. I can't understand any of that stuff, why people line up to get on and then they have to stand in line for 15 minutes. I wait to the very last minute and then I get annoyed when I turn the corner and it's still backed up to the edge of the world. Can't I go back and sit down for a while more? Or you go, that's it, I'm going to get in the very end of this line and you go stand there and then one more person comes in behind you

and you're like, ah. Yeah, yeah. I don't get why people stand up immediately and wait for me to land. I don't get why people want to get off the plane immediately. I go, just sit here, chill out. I get the standing up because you want to stretch your legs, you've been sitting on the flight. I get that more than I get the rush to get onto the plane.

Yeah, I find it absolutely ridiculous. I've probably more – I've airport etiquette rules, like eating etiquette rules and mobile phone etiquette rules that I don't want broken. Just chill out little dudes at the airport. What's your mobile phone etiquette rule? I don't like – well, yeah, don't use it when you're talking to me. Don't be having lunch with me or something just pick it up and start using it you gotta say excuse me i'm

gonna take this call yeah old school yeah don't be just constantly fiddling with it don't be looking at it every five seconds don't be grabbing out of your pocket you you don't be talking you do not want to hang out with that don't be talking really loud like in confined spaces like on a plane when it goes off uh you know oh yeah that's the worst. Public transport, talking on public transport is the worst. Turn your fucking ringtone off. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. A little jokey ringtone.

Well, I have to say, I think like if life isn't already frustrating enough for you, it's because all that stuff is just rapidly going out the window. Like you are a dying breed. No one cares anymore. It's, you know. I'm self-conscious. Go back to Downton Abbey.

Well, that's the thing with they talk about the mobile phones on planes and stuff now. But they, you know, some are talking about bringing it in or whatever. Can you imagine this situation if everyone's on their phone? I hope I don't live to see that day. That will be the worst. It will be unbearable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sorry, did we cut you off? Are you about to say something? No, I was just suddenly thinking of something Carl did to me a few weeks ago and we were going to talk about it. Oh, yes. Yeah, sure, let's talk about it. Yeah, it was... Abusive gate.

We did... Is this when we were at a gig? When we were at a gig and I got abused. Yes, yeah. So what happened? We were at a crab lab in Melbourne and we were doing a gig together. We got to the end of the gig and – I'd had a heckler during the gig.

Right. And maybe I'd asked a question and then the guy had answered and then I'd shot him down a bit or something. I can't remember exactly how. Something happened where he started going, oh, this is my show as well. You go, oh, you didn't even shoot him down too bad. No, I think I was all right. It was just sort of like, oh, yeah, okay, it was and then something hilarious like that yeah it gets to the

end of the gig and we're sitting in a little booth and um i'd probably had a few beers a few i'd had a few yeah and um i think i was i was i was sitting directly next to you and this person that you'd been talking to or whatever came into the booth, I think, and sat down and said something like... Well, it was weird because he came into the booth, like, so a booth's a trapped situation. So he came in, sat next to me and he said, oh, can I come and sit next to you? He said, gee, that was a fantastic gig. Well done. And I was like, oh, thanks.

This is nice. And then... And at this point, I'm sitting next to you and it just happened to be... But you're a fat mole. At this point, I'm sitting there and it just happened to be... But you're a fat mole. At this point, I'm sitting there and it just happened to be the night we're on this week live. I think me and you, Tommy, were on the show. Yeah. And so my Twitter feed's lighting up.

Yeah. I'm going, oh, my agenda on the show. You're having the time of your life retweeting. So it's all coming through and I'm going, oh, this is good people, people looking at me on the TV. This is a pretty good life, isn't it? Carl's involved. So he goes, can I just ask you a few questions about comedy? Oh, God.

And I go, yeah, yeah, sure. I've got a new fan here. What part of community health do you work in? Mental. And next he said, yeah, so why do you feel like it's okay to stand up on stage and adopt the coward stance and then destroy someone's self-esteem who's in the audience, who's just spoken up because you've asked a question.

Why do you think that's an okay thing to do? And I was like... Good question. And I said, I don't know. Why don't you go and get fucked? And meanwhile, meanwhile... Right, I'm kicking... Meanwhile, under the table, Edo is kicking the shit out of me.

But the beers and the Twitter combined, I'm literally going, oh, Edo's a bit clumsy tonight. He's just about a few beers. So this guy's just getting really aggressive. He's had dreadlocks and stuff. Very aggressive. He's like, you adopted the coward stance. I don't even know what that is.

He's like, you were turning, you had your shoulder to the audience. You're a coward. Why do you think it's okay to swear at me? I'm like, Carl. Carl's just there like, ding, I'll get another one.

That's right. And then you go, yeah, why don't you get fucked? Like that happened. Then you go, why don't you get fucked? And I went,

I just heard you say, get fucked. I was like, oh, that's a pretty funny thing to say. And I just laughed without knowing what was going on. Very funny. Back to me.

Yeah, yeah. And he was there for ages. I was totally trapped. And then eventually he was left. I was like, Carl, what are you doing? He's going, I'm on This Week Live. Poor Edo. So how did you get rid of the guy?

I think a friend had to come over and get him away. A friend had to come and help you? No, no, not a friend. Finally you had a friend had to come over and get him away. A friend had to come and help you? No, no, not a friend. One of his friends had to take him away and then came back and said, oh, sorry. Because he has friends that look out for his well-being. Yeah. Well, they said he'd been taking mushrooms for a couple of weeks.

Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. He was pretty weird. He was pretty weird. In hindsight, when I think about what was happening in the background, he did seem a bit weird. Yeah, yeah.

A bit threatening, I suppose. Yeah. But it was in the background. I wouldn seem a bit weird. Yeah, yeah. A bit threatening, I suppose. Yeah. But it was in the background. I wouldn't worry about it. Yeah, it's all right. Look, I'll give you a shout-out next time on the TV. I'll make up for it that way. Been on the mushrooms for a week.

Yeah. A week. Solid mushroom taking. He wasn't quite right. He was like a nightmare. Be careful about the coward stance on stage. I think that's the message. Yeah.

Yeah. And, yeah yeah was he aggressive in terms of like did you think it could have escalated into or is this going to be a abusive match oh no i think i felt threatened but i get i feel threatened pretty easily and in a booth you did you went pretty early for it to go oh you know what about that the way you were talking to fuck off fuck off you were like straight away that, the way you were talking to, fuck off, fuck off. You were like straight away. That was only because I only said that because I sensed something not quite right about him

straight away. I think it was the dreadlocks. But no matter who it is, there's nothing worse than having to, like, after you've done your comedy, then talk about your comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Straight away. The feedback. Someone who's just watched it.

Yeah. That's true, actually. Like, seeing that you, yeah, you made fun of him in front of you know 50 60 people and then straight after the gig when he came up to you telling him to fuck off i could see where he was in the wrong he's probably telling this story he's probably telling this story on your mum's podcast right now and the situation's completely reversed i went to this comedy club someone asked me a question and then they're like fuck you and then i went up to say why'd you say say fuck? And she just went, fuck off.

And I walked out and meanwhile she was like, not only was she telling me to fuck off, she was kicking some poor young man next to her on the table. He seemed like he was just trying to look on Twitter, look for entertainment on there. He's getting his poor bruised chins down under the table. What a horrible woman. I think mum would have just been on his side. No, mum would have been on Edo's side because she doesn't like bad language. So as soon as he said the word fuck.

No, I said the word fuck. No, but just even him. That's what my parents are like. Even if you're relying it, they just... If you're the one who's... It's come out of your mouth, even in the retelling, they're out. That's it. Do you swear in front of them then?

I try to every now and then because I think maybe I'm old enough now that they're just going to let it slide and realise I'm a lost cause. So I'll let a word out and just instantly get a none of that, please. Really? Still, yeah. And you don't hear them swear? No. Oh, they don't swear?

Oh, really? No, they don't swear. It's a free-for-all now. Swearing's always been okay in our house, like since I was little. See, those kinds of families blow my mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, I think I went to kinder and told someone to fuck off. Where are they getting this from?

Mother baby with dreadlocks? They were telling me to do the face. What about you, Chambo? Bad language in the Chambo household? Yeah, no, it's all fine. I think it got to a certain age. I don't think it was really encouraged when I was a little kid, but come teenage years, it was fair game.

See, I always thought, I always felt like, surely that's got to be just around the corner, was my thing growing up. Surely. Yeah, yeah. 18, you know, I've finished school. There's no – I'm not going to be led down a bad path. I've finished.

I'm done. I'm not a dropout. Hey, Dad, what's this shit? Oh, okay. Fair enough. Yeah, yeah. So do you think they swear in private when you're not around? I doubt it.

I hope not. I hope they're not going. Yeah, that's pretty weird. We better not say it in front of our 27-year-old son. I find it. I hope not. I hope they're not going. Yeah, that's pretty weird. We better not say it in front of our 27-year-olds. I find it really odd. I find it really prudish. I don't know. I find it just an odd...

I think it's... Look, it can be a bit uncouth to be swearing so much. Yeah, sometimes here. I don't like it when I'm at the footy and stuff like that, when there are kids around. Yeah. I'll swear quite a lot, but then I hear someone swear on the street

and I go, oh. Yeah, I know. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. It's funny because you do get so used to it as a hat. Like, even sometimes, you know, like, especially in comedy where it can be like, you know, a comma if you're, you know, stuck for words or whatever.

Even listening back to this, I'll listen to myself go, and then I'll fucking do this. I'm like, mate, there's no need for that. You didn't need that in the story, did you? Especially on your mum's podcast. Trying to get on radio here. This is bullshit. But, yeah, that's the big frustration is even if I'm saying to dad,

oh, and then this guy came up in the street and he goes to us, get fucked. Dad's like, come on. I'm like like it's a relating a thing yeah yeah yeah and then my mate shit face came up that's his name that's not me saying it you've known him since prep he's my oldest friend in the world good old jimmy shit face yeah interesting man i um so what if i said what if i swore to your parents oh that's interesting we should call him right now i'm gonna call my dad and see what happens from a blocked Interesting, man. So what if I said, what if I swore to your parents? Oh, that's interesting.

We should call them right now. Yeah, give them a ring. We should call my dad and see what happens. From a blocked number. Fuck you, fuck her. Give a little look to each other and say, never will he be allowed to come into our diamond ring again. That's interesting.

The way he holds his knife and fork. I'm going to have a good listen next week to Mrs. Daslow's fuck cast just to see if she swears at all on it. Wet cast. Yeah. Guys, please. It's the woman who raised me. She raised a lot of men.

I'm trying to think like if you – oh, boy. I'm trying to think if like like, yeah, someone else. Because, like, what kind of, like, it's never been tested if they would get cut at someone else just waiting in front of them. Because what kind of person is in front of someone else's parents and goes, fuck this? But it's that real thing when you're little, when things like that are happening.

Would you get that really embarrassed? And I reckon you would, given the way you were raised then, obviously, when someone else swears. And like, say if I was eight, nine, ten years old, if something like that was happening in front of my, and my parents are here, I'm here, then someone else goes, well, fuck this.

I'd be like, oh, this is, oh, my mum and dad are not going to like this. Like, I remember distinctly watching, I think it was National Lampoon's European Vacation in the lounge room once, and there's a scene where they're all, like, all like strippers in the burlesque club or something. And they all take their top off or whatever. And I was sitting there going, oh, this is so awkward.

I hope my parents aren't. Because outside the room, I hope they're not seeing that I'm seeing this or whatever. And I walk out and mum goes, well, a lot of boobs on that show, wasn't there? And me going, oh, I didn't know it was there. I was playing Tonka Trucks. My parents are so prudish with it to the extent that like, I find it really hard, like I'm always trying to, like if I'm watching a film that I think is good

and I'm like midway through, I'm like, oh, you know what? This is looking good so far. I think maybe at the end of this I'll recommend that my parents go see it. I think they might like it. And then someone will say fuck once in the movie. I'll go, well, that's out. That's going to, because that seriously would,

that would ruin it for my dad. One word in there that he's out. I reckon I watched a movie like that when I was like, say, eight, nine or something like that. And it was just one of those comedies or something that just, it was like an Eddie Murphy or something

that just went bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. There was so much swearing in it that I was sitting there watching it with my parents and just so tense because I was like, we all know that we're in this. No one's speaking. We're all just watching this barrage of swear words come out. And I'm just like rock solid stressed. And then dad just gets up and goes, I think that'll be the end of that.

And we all just go, oh, oh, great, great. I'm glad someone called it. It was like, oh, the biggest relief of all time. So many people have that experience with their parents where they're there watching like a sex scene or whatever and it's like the parents are just kind of like letting it happen and no one's speaking. It's like as the kid you can't say anything because you don't want to.

Like why as a parent? The kid you can't go, I saw that go in there, Dad. Should I be watching this? But, like, what's, like, then you think about it, like, why would a parent not just go, oh, this is a sex scene, this is weird if we watch this as a family? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, why do so many people, like, why are people's parents

so, like, not wanting to speak or act on it? Because parents are humans too, Tommy. What do you mean? I don't know. What do you mean? I don't know. What do you mean? Mine are robots. Because they're anxious too. They're stressed and worried and they don't know what to say.

But they're the voice of authority. They can go, this isn't appropriate for you. Let's turn this off. Oh, so you think they should just initiate the switch off. Is that what you're going to be? The parent that just goes, this is my law now. You live under it. Bang.

Yeah, I like the sound of that. That sounds like good times. What are you going to be like as a parent? Are you going to be a loose parent? I don't know. I don't know. If I was to have kids with my girlfriend now, I think I'd be the fuck-up parent.

Oh, do you? Yeah. I think she'd come home and I'd go, yeah, there's no food, so I just gave him that paint. And she'd be like, the fuck? What are you doing? I'd be the classic Mia Mayall from a Campbell's soup commercial. Because you'd have to be the stay-at-home dad

because there's no income coming from you. Yeah, pretty much. I've always thought I'd be a good parent, but I don't think I would. No, not at all. I think I'm going to be. I think hanging out with me has been like training wheels for you having a kid. Yeah, right. Like I think you've adopted that role.

I think I'd be, like I think I'm going to be way too bossy for my kids. But I think I've realised this week after the airport incident, I realised I'm a much more micromanager of everyone else than I am of myself. There's no rules for me. I'm just a hopeless raft adrift in the middle of the ocean. There's no hope. But with everyone else, I'm like, no, you've got to do it like this. But with me, it's like, oh, do I have to catch a plane

in the next few days? Maybe. Who knows? I'm so thrilled that you've finally worked this out for yourself. That is a new thing. That is a new thing I've figured out. We've had a breakthrough, everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've noticed that about've finally worked this out for yourself. That is a new thing. That is a new thing I've figured out. We've had a breakthrough, everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I've noticed that about you for a long time. But that's a classic case, like people who are good with other people's stuff. That's like kind of a cliche is like not being able to sort out your own shit. Not a cliche, but that is pretty common. Is it like the plumbers? The plumbers always have the worst pipes because they're busy doing everyone else's pipes. They don't look at their pipes. Is that a thing?

Yeah. That's a thing? Yeah. That's the thing about that. They talk about chefs coming home to cook, don't they? Yeah. Chefs coming home and eating literal human shit

because they can't be bothered. That's probably not, that's not a real thing. Well, I'm not that funny at home. Because I live on my own. Well, yeah. Yeah,

I live alone too. There's no one laughing here. It's like we're talking about the Chambers house. Well, yeah, I live alone too. There's no one laughing here. It's like we're talking about... No one at the Chamber's house. Well, I think, again, we've said this on the show before, but what was that thing where we're talking about haircuts before and you never go, if you have your choice of barber, you don't go the guy with the good haircut

because he hasn't done that himself. Someone else in the store probably done that for him. Oh, I've never thought of that either. Yeah, right. hasn't done that himself. Yeah. Someone else in the store probably done that. I've never thought of that. Oh, I've never thought of that as well either. Yeah. Yeah, right. What freaks me out is the majority of the hair stylist that I would go to would be bald

and I'm always like, how's that work? It's a fantasy, isn't it? It's just... Is it? Well, like, you'd imagine so. Like, I would think...

What? Your fantasy is to sleep with a bald father? No, no. So you've got no hair of your own to do anything with during the day. So your whole day Like, I would think... What? Your fantasy is to sleep with a bald father? No, no. So you've got no hair of your own to do anything with during the day. So your whole day is just you dedicating yourself to other people's hair. It's like girls with small breasts work at Bras and Bras-a-Us.

Do they? No. One of the great Bras-a-Us is a shop. Yeah. Bras and things. Bras and things. Brasen things. How come you know, dirty birdie? If I went into a dentist and my dentist had like two teeth in his head,

I'd be like, oh, I might go somewhere else. So the hairdresser's got no hair. I sort of go, did you fuck it up? Did you do that? Did you cut your own hair and did you? What about a physiotherapist with a limp? Let's go through all of them. Let's go through every possible job. A teacher that can't read.

Not quite the same. I don't know how you're getting the job as teacher if you can't read. An undertaker who isn't dead. Yeah, what a fuckhead. He's shit ass. I wouldn't go to him. Let's go heckle the undertaker. Boo.

Failure. Well, guys, I think that is just about all the time we have for the Little Dum Dum Club this week. Anne Edmonds, Michael Chamberlain, thank you very much for joining us. And Chamberlain, thank you very much for having us in your house and inviting the TV. We're going to do one here next week as well. Is that cool?

Yeah, sure, man. Come on over any time. I'm very lonely in here. For the listeners, I ate five TV snacks across the course of that podcast and I moved my microphone. So you were listening to me eating. I had a couple. And you didn't even notice, did you?

No. So that's good stuff. Good on you. Edo, you're doing the Adelaide Fringe Festival. No, you're not. That's right, you're not. I pulled out of it. Oh, exclusive.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. That's a shame. There was a dreadlock bloke that had just bought tickets there. There's two 7am flights, exclusive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. That's a shame. There was a dreadlock bloke that had just bought tickets there. There's two 7am flights, man. But you and I were talking about the possibility of doing a road trip there. Yeah, we should go over. It's always the biggest party in Adelaide and the worst ticket sales.

Yeah, it's heaps of fun. Are you doing it, Tommy? No, I'm not. Why don't you two do a two-hander? Are you doing it, Kurt? No. Three-hander. Yeah, you two do a two-hander? Are you doing it, Co? No. Three-hander? Yeah, let's drive over.

Four-hander. I'll do it. I'll come on over. Bloody hell, four-hander. There's two, 15 minutes each. Let's recreate this podcast exactly. We'll all go over. We'll transcript it and then we'll read out the transcript.

We'll rehearse it in the car. Who wouldn't want to pay $14 for tickets for this? You heard it first. Dasolo, Chandler, Edmonds, Chamberlain, the Arena Spectacular, come to Adelaide for the first festival. It's like those bands that come and just play their classic album all the way through

in the right order. That's what we can do. Episode 168, guys. Performing it in its entirety. We might play it. And we'll play the hits straight afterwards. Yeah, we do an encore. The greatest hits. the hits straight afterwards. Yeah, we do an encore. The greatest hits.

We'll just do this album and then the greatest hits. But, Edo, you are at the Perth Fringe Festival. Perth Fringe from the 1st to about the 10th of March? No, February. March, question mark? No, it's February. February, yeah. We've got a lot of Perth Damo fans.

Oh, great. I like how you got the number right and then didn't have the month right. Oh, yeah. I know it's the 10th of something, so you guys do the rest of the work. I've done most of the work. Chamber, have you got stuff that you'd like to plug? Semi-retired, aren't you? Yeah.

No, I'm just hanging out, man. I'm living large. Cool. You might have a T-Act TV for sale? I know you're not looking to get rid of that anytime soon, are you? Look, if someone wants to make Make an offer Okay

Yeah email Email DubDub And we can Yeah Sweet Come and party Yeah Let's do that

People Shout out to all the people That have come along To Five Burrows Comedy That are on on a Thursday night Yes Always got plenty of friends Of the show

And people who are too big To be friends of the show as well So What they're fat Yes That's what I'm saying. Can't get up the stairs? Yeah.

No, plenty of people come along, so that's awesome. Keep coming along to that Thursday night. Yep. My tickets are on sale for my show in Brisbane

at the Brisbane Powerhouse March the 4th till the 9th of 2014, I think it is. You can find that stuff on my website, tommydassolo.com come down it's going

to be heaps of fun and also our live birthday show still up for download LittleDumbDumbClub.com it's not on the iTunes it's just on the website

go get it through the website as are a whole bunch of our old episodes the website looks great once again shout out to Joel Goodman from Auxiliary Design

for hooking that up one of the best web designers in Cairns I reckon I'm going to say it. Yeah, looks great. So thanks very much for listening, guys,

and we'll see you next time. See you, mate.