The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 168 - Brendon Walsh & Nick Cody

Episode Date: December 24, 2013

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Hey mates, welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and sitting next to me is the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day Dickhead. Scratching your head as I was introducing you there. Wow, that's a sign of someone not having much to say. Just talking about things that are happening near me. There's a bookshelf.

That mirror needs a clean. Sorry, I was a little bit late. You guys were all waiting for me. You and the unnamed guests at this point. But I do have a good excuse. I bought McDonald's and I bought a cake on the way. So there you go. See, if I were in your position, I would sit and eat the cake in my car and then be later.

So you just go, oh, traffic was bad. If you walk in late with a cake, it's like, you're late because you just went and got a fucking cake well you know what i'm actually in a little bit of shock because i um and i reckon you'll be the same as this i'm sure i'm absolutely positive you are a shocker you are a shocker with on your phone you're tweeting or just checking tweets checking facebook i'm not too far behind you but you are the clubhouse leader i disagree i reckon we're neck and neck no no i reckon we're easily I reckon we're easily neck and neck. Not at all. Yeah, anyway. So I'm a shocker for it in my car.

I did it today and I finally, you know, that point where I nearly had an accident. It was quite, yeah, it was very shocking. And I just sort of wasn't aware of a car coming when it was coming out of a side street. And I should have known it was coming. So I really hit the brakes and there's water on the road and whatever. So it was quite scary. But yeah, I didn't know because I was checking and I just realized, you know that thing. I always think about this thing where if you ever had an accident and they get your charred body out of the bloody car

and they go to check, you know, your phone. What were his last words? And the last thing at that point was I was on Instagram searching for Lara Bingle. So that's how I would have been remembered, I think. Not the first time I've said this to you, but I wish you had died. Just to have that moment would have been so good. Yeah, but I do think about that, like when about that like when you have something like that happen.

You know when the – I presume the cops would get your phone and then be like, all right, well, we've got to call someone. What do they do? Because you don't have like your girlfriend in your phone under girlfriend. As girlfriend, yeah. Do they go through your text messages? Because my first hand would be to my mates going, you're a fuckhead. So how do they figure out who to ring to tell?

Call this guy because he'll probably be happy that he's gone. So the first 10 phone calls are, good news. Solving this murder is going to be hard because it seems like he's got a lot of enemies in here. Okay, today on the show, first of all, from the Something for the Drive Home podcast. Someone who's checking his phone right now. Checking his phone right now. Reminded him to do that. I want to hit him with a car right now.

Fresh from service to this country overseas. Please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Nick Cody. Did it for Australia. Yeah. You just reminded me that Lara Bingle was a thing, so I was also checking on Instagram. Oh, really? Did you get the cake at a separate place from the McDonald's?

Yes, I made two stops. Let me be very clear. Yeah. I'm already ten minutes late. Yeah. Was there a cake? Also joining us today, special overseas guest. You know him from the Bone Zone podcast.

You may have seen him earlier this year at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Please welcome to Little Dumb D club brendan walsh you're a lot more excited to see you welcome aboard i skipped lunch because i didn't want to be late yep uh so i'm starving yes and so how does it being that hungry how do you feel hearing a story about someone who's had not only mcdonald's but a cake on top of it? You know, there's different cultures, I guess. You know, in America, we like to be prompt and we don't like to be rude to international guests.

Keep them waiting. Because you've just flown in for this. Yeah, I flew in just for this. Yeah, so. Flown in specifically. I'm not going to be 100%. Yeah, no, I understand. I drove past the McDonald's and was like, no, don't have time. yeah so flown in specifically I'm not going to be 100% yeah no I understand

drove past the McDonald's and was like nope don't have time gotta get there no I know I just wish there was more in here don't want to keep

those guys waiting are you tempted because you know when I go overseas I like to for you know some dumb reason check what McDonald's

is like overseas but you guys are like the home of McDonald's do you come out and go oh what's this little pissant country doing with our with our thing yeah yeah i just take pictures of me in front of the mcdonald's menus like what the isn't it cute what do you call this a big mac no i don't i i don't know i don't i like i don't eat that shit like in the u.s i don't really eat

any fast food. That's like my cutoff point. Not that I'm like a health freak, but you got to draw the line somewhere. That is like to us, we can't believe that. That's like someone saying, I'm married to this hot supermodel, but I just never have sex with her. Because what's the point? I'm just not that into it. Well, there's different standards too, man.

Like it's straight up fucking poison. Yeah. Well, there's different standards too, man. Like it's straight up fucking poison. Yeah. Like they allow a lot more shit in food than you guys probably do here. Really? Yeah.

Even better. I'm here for a good time, not a long time. I've tasted it. It must make it taste better because it's better than ours. Yeah. It's all taste related, but it's chemicals and and uh i don't know just straight up poison but it's it's also with the amount of traveling i do and stuff if i eat fast food i'd be an even fatter fuck than i am now well how do you do it when you because when you travel so much like you know i'll have a lot of work on at my house and i'll be like oh i don't have time to sit

and cook something on my own oven i better drive to mcdonald's i don't know how that logic works but that's how i think i think i don't have time for that i'll drive out of my way to get fast food there's i you know there are more options like you can grab a sandwich from the supermarket or something i mean i'm not saying you know i go and find some organic spelt gluten-free kale shakes i meanouts or kale shakes. I mean, you know, I'm not, but it's, you know, instead of getting like Kentucky Fried Chicken, yeah, I'll just, I'll grab something at the supermarket. Do I still call it that over there?

Well, it's KFC. Yeah, but I don't, I don't know. I mean, I don't know if there's... I might have to ask you to leave. It just sounds like we've got nothing in common. I don't know how this is going to go. This logic baffles me. What else?

I don't really deny myself. Like, I don't feel like I'm denying myself anything by not eating fast food. I just, you know, it's just not something... I'm the opposite of a denier. I just went out of my way to make this show late to get a cake. I realised I was late as well due to a McDonald's stop.

I went out for some beers last night and then I thought, might as well wait until the breakfast menu starts. So when I walked in at 6.30 this morning with a little bacon and egg McMuffin delivery for my girlfriend, she was not impressed. Really? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, because I thought she was about, she's a nurse, so she has to wake up at 6.30 anyway. And so I've walked in. She's a nurse, so she has to wake up at 6.30 anyway.

And so I've walked in. She's a nurse. She knows exactly what this food will do to her body. She'll appreciate this. And I'm going to present it loudly while she still has two minutes of sleep before her alarm. Make my face! Oh, man, I read a thing on Facebook the other day.

There was some link about exactly what Coke does to your body and that whole thing of you can use it as motor oil and all that sort of stuff, whatever. Coins, coins. Yeah, yeah, all that sort of stuff. But I don't know what's wrong with people, but I read that and went, my God, that's the worst thing. And I had a Coke within an hour?

Yeah. How good's Coke? I'm still waiting to find out what I have to hear about all that stuff, about Maccas, about any of it, that would make me not do it again. I don't think there's anything out there that could turn me off it. Makes your dick fall off. Oh, well. Is there a dick shop?

It's sort of more trouble than it's worth, all things considered. Wait, does the breakfast menu make that happen or after 10.30am? Now that I can't fuck anyone, I might as well eat as much McDonald's as I want. Get to work on that novel. Yeah, and then McDonald's goes sweet and just get rid of their bathrooms. Yeah. Because there's absolutely no need for it. Perfect.

No one's got a dick anymore. Or makes your dick fall off and makes your asshole twice the size. It'd be easy for like, you know, you and your girlfriend, you're trying to diet together or whatever. You're coming in, you wouldn't be able to lie about it anymore You'd come in and go Nah I've been good I haven't had McDonald's

And she'd be like pants off And there'd just be a Ken doll style hump Yeah yeah Where your penis used to be And then she goes Oh well things are still the same Yeah

Boo You don't have a dick I get it That's the joke I like that I like jokes It's Christmas Yeah

Yeah man It's good though McDonald's was good Yeah Yeah get it that's the joke i like that i like jokes yeah it's christmas yeah uh yeah man i uh it was good it's good though mcdonald's was good yeah yeah because i've got i don't know if everyone in australia is aware there's my i brought up on the show a few weeks ago but my my thing what do they call it my uh food of choice no you did just eat at mcdonald's yeah i understand if you're not thinking yeah yeah what's happening right now, this is like an audio kind of diagram where you can hear the fat kind of slowly seeping into Chandler's brain. McDonald's and a cake.

You're going to fall asleep in about six minutes. Blood sugar just plummets. Nap time for Chandler. This episode is going up on Christmas, Christmas Day. So Merry Christmas to everyone listening. We are in the middle of kind of that whole lead up to Christmas, Christmas Day. So Merry Christmas to everyone listening. We are in the middle of kind of that whole

lead up to Christmas at the moment. I went to a Christmas dinner last night. A friend of mine had people around and you probably don't know this about me,

Brendan, but Nick and Carl, you've known me a little while. I like dressing up a little bit. I think Brendan knows that. I think Brendan

would be aware of that. I mean, I'm not now. Yeah, you've got a cartoon dog on your T-shirt. That's just pesto all over it. You're clearly a man about I mean, I'm not now. Yeah, you've got a cartoon dog on your T-shirt. That just pesto all over it. You're clearly a man about town. When I'm not podcasting, I am sponsored by Jack London. I think you were in that McDonald's I went to.

You were at the 12-year-old birthday party in there. Wearing my big red wig and my yellow suit. No, so last night a friend of mine had a Christmas dinner thing and I thought, you know, I'll dress dress up I'll wear a nice shirt and a jacket and you know be a bit you got the pants oh no shirt and jacket

apparently he's been eating McDonald's I kind of thought everyone was going to dress up just the way the invitation had been sent out I thought this would be kind of a you know it's nice to. Just the way the invitation had been sent out, I thought this would be kind of a, you know, it's nice to sort of everyone be a bit classy every now and then. But, like, I was just massively overdressed. So we're there and we're all hanging out

and my friend had bought a pile of Christmas crackers and, you know, we're all popping them and they were the ones that had, like, little toys in them. So there was, like, one had a bouncy ball in it, one had a measuring tape, that great toy. Great toy. The measuring tape. what every kid wants this time of year which again was very handy for you to put downstairs go yep still zero uh good yep

yep um i so i opened one that had a magic trick in it that was like a set of six cards and then a thing of instructions and it was like a thing where you get someone to pick a number and then using the deck of cards you can work out by asking a couple of questions what their number is, right? And so I was like, oh, I wonder if this works. And I did it to a friend and I guessed their number right and then someone else was like, you know like when you bring out a magic trick, I think everyone wants to be the person that fucks the magic trick.

Like everyone wants to be the person that proves it wrong because you want that moment of going, nah, you're not inside my head, buddy. You blew it. It's like the guys, you know, comedy, you're not inside my head, buddy. You blew it. It's like the guys, you know, comedy, just forcing themselves to not laugh at something. I bet the joke. I'm better than the joke. Yeah.

So I did like to five different people and guessed it all right and my friend's girlfriend was there who I'd only met once and she goes, oh, this is great. You know, I'll have a crack. Do me. And I'm like, okay. So we get through it and she goes, wow, that is great. I don't know how you did that.

That was incredible. And I go, oh, like I can tell you how to do it it's like pretty easy and she's like oh i could i could never ask you to give up the magician's code i couldn't ask you to do that and i'm like no it's it's just written on a card over there it came out of the bonbon and she's like did that come out of the christmas cracker and i'm like yeah and then i think about it for a second and i go did you think that i bought that trick along with me and she goes yes and i'm like oh so you thought and she goes all i saw oh look i knew from my friend that you're an entertainer and i saw you wearing the suit and you were so good at the trick that I just figured he must be a magician.

Wow. The worst sentence you can have said at you. So that's why I'm dressed. I just, I never again do I want to, I went, I'm throwing out all my suit jackets. I reckon you're the opposite. I reckon you're going to get into it because it's like, you know,

the same way you would get into comedy. You know, you say something funny, someone goes, you should be a comedian. You go, yeah, I should be. I think that's your future. Yeah, okay. Because do magicians get heckled, do you reckon? Or do they get that same level of shit after the gig

where someone's like, all the boys at the office are telling me I'm always making things disappear. You might have to watch yourself, mate. I could be giving you some competition in a couple of years. There's a trap door in that thing. I can see the string. It's like people go to puppet shows.

I can see the hand. Yeah, yeah. I can see the guy's hand. He's not real. That's just you not moving your lips. That is a weird thing if you heckle because, you know, comedians are built to handle heckles because, you know, they're funny already.

But what do you say? Yeah, what's a magician going to say if you yell out, I saw you put the rabbit up your own ass, mate. Yeah. You know, what do they say? That's a magician I want to see. Not even – the trick isn't him putting the rabbit up his ass. That's how he's, like, disguising that it's a trick.

I saw it go up your ass, mate. You haven't fooled me. Yeah, that's not a trick at all you you put the rabbit in your own ass no that is a good trick actually yeah just stick a rabbit in your ass yeah they should because yeah there's the stock standard like comeback you know to a heckler of the things like um you know i don't come down to where you work and that stuff they need like a every magic show should have built into the seat a trap door and some gunpowder so if someone heckles they just go they just snap their fingers and then they just poof and the person disappears fuck he got us yeah he got me back that'd be funny that'd be like a funny hidden camera thing to do

like go to a magic show and heckle magician and then make have them make you disappear yeah yeah everyone else in the crowd thinks like holy shit yeah it's real this is a real magician you just floating in space in another dimension oh fuck he got me because there's like a new cool magician on tv at the moment i saw the ad like um this week there's a guy in england that's doing his own show he's a magician and it's like a punked magician and so but instead of going that whole way of calling it punked and making it cool i think the show is called tricked yeah it's like i think it was named by a five-year-old but like um but on the ad the thing is there's like all these people and then he comes along and goes hey we should go into that truck and then he brings a guy into the truck but then they don't actually go in and then the truck falls off a cliff and all the people go

my god that's my friend who's dead and then they they just go, not really. You got tricked. Like, is that magic? That's kind of funny, though. There's a big magic show here at the, whatever it is, the big playhouse or theater. The Magic Hut, the Melbourne Magic Hut. No, no, there's like a big, you know, whatever the big theater deal is. What, Crown or MCG?

No. I don't know. There's Cosentino. It's like five magician guys, and they all have different personalities. Oh, yeah. It's called the Mysterious Man. Oh.

The Gentleman. Sporty Magic. The Bath Lady. Scary Magic. Yeah, yeah. Posh Magic. Baby Magic. Yeah.

I'm kind of curious to see what you know what that's all about it's got to be corny as hell yeah but maybe it's cool I don't know yeah some magic

when it's done well magic is like it's super easy to be snide about it but when it's done we went and saw Pinatella yeah that was amazing

yeah but I think you know you've got to be really close to that magic because you know if you're a fair way back it's like

and then I did this I'm like I can't even see what you did is that was that a trick I don't know those guys know what they're doing i mean yeah magicians are weird guy like i mean they're i'm not i don't mean that in a disparaging way but like they it's like from the time they're five years old they're practicing card tricks and shit and yeah i don't know if you read there's that article and i think it was gq a little while ago about i forget which one of pen and teller the one that doesn't speak teller yeah and how someone

high school as me oh really oh that's awesome tell her that well i got is the first high school i went to and teller went there larry from three stooges went there oh wow uh norman fell mr roper from three's company wow scooby doo Well, who? Scooby-Doo? Who else? Three's Company. I don't know. Maybe you guys never got that here. Did we get?

Just was your high school sponsored by TV One? No, it's just an old, it was like, it's one of the oldest schools in Philadelphia. And Bill Cosby went there for two years. Oh, what? There was someone else. Hang on. So you led with the guy from three's company before you got to cosby it was bill cosby well and jesus christ

yeah so that alumni so did they have statues of those guys at the front of your school no well bill cosby i think he got kicked out after a couple years i only made it a couple years i know for not wearing uniform for wearing no it was a public school yeah it was i got kicked out after a couple years i only made it a couple years i know for not wearing uniform for wearing no it's a public school yeah it was i got kicked out for uh fucked a nun no no it's it was flying none did she go to that high school as well sally field sister act uh they named the football field after her sally sally field uh it was the reason i got kicked out it was like you know it's kind of a smart kid school you had to like take a test to get in and stuff but i went to catholic school for eight years before i went there and it was uh it's just kind

of more of a college atmosphere like because it was all smart kids they're like yeah just do the work and but if you fail if you i think if you failed two classes in one semester they kicked you out and again showing up getting there after eight years of catholic school and was like where i can cut school like nobody's fucking i'm like well i'm never fucking coming here So I just essentially stopped going to school. And then sophomore year, yeah, I failed like three classes or something just because I was never there. So no one took roles. Does that mean that Bill Cosby could be still coming back?

He might have to go finish up. Yeah. No, I don't know. I don't know what his deal was. I don't know why he got kicked out. Or maybe he didn't get kicked out. Maybe he just moved or something. Yeah.

High school kids do the dandest things adults say things that are pretty darned but like not not as darned as when you're young that's awesome because like you know my high school would have been like oh you know who came to your high school the guy that works the milk bar over the road oh wow really he might be somebody down the line in history i don't know yeah i think i've sat on this show before we had julian knight yeah very disturbing episode i don't know whether that says something about you that i don't even remember that i've i've remembered more horrifying facts about you than that. Brendan Julian Knight was a guy who went crazy, went on a shooting spree,

climbed up on top of a billboard just on the street down there. Take it down there after if you want. And just started picking people off for a couple of hours. Not sure if you know, Brendan comes from America. That happened five times already today. Oh, that's right. Why do you remember them? Don't try and impress him with your serial killers. Hey, I'm not the one You're not impressed with him. Why do you remember them? Don't try and impress him with

your serial killers. Hey, I'm not the one who went to school with him. Yeah. So you've just come back from, how long were you

entertaining the troops for? Two weeks I was gone. Two weeks. Really? Because you went to Vegas and stuff

first, didn't you? and then I went straight there. I got there the easy way, Vegas to Bahrain. I went to Vegas easy way, Vegas to Bahrain. I went Vegas to LA to Auckland to Sydney to Darwin to Dubai to Oman to Bahrain. So, seven flights back to back.

Wow. It was, I think, 36 hours in the air out of 54 hours or something. Just fucking insane. What did you watch on the plane? Mate, heaps of movies. Heaps of so many movies. I watched all of The Wire. Just movies. I watched all of The Wire. Just every leg is an

episode of The Wire. Yeah, it was good fun but this stuff was for the Navy. So I went on the ship. First comic since first Aussie comic

since Vietnam. Whatever. Were you really doing comedy or were you in a Village People tribute act? It was fucking good fun but it was HMAS Melbourne.

Our little bloody, our little city ship, mate. All the way over there? Yeah. Oh, it's just called that. That's the ship that's in that area at the minute. Two days after I got off the ship, they fucking discovered on a boat $8.7 million worth of amphetamines. Fucking spewing.

On the same boat as who? Yeah, on the same ship that I was on. That ship goes around looking for pirates and all sorts of shit. They captured pirates like three weeks ago, these Somalian dudes who said they were fishermen. And they've spotted them miles out and they've got a helicopter that's above them. And they're like, oh yeah, we're fishermen.

We try and catch this fish. We normally find them like six to eight kilometers off the coast. And they're like, yeah, guys, you're 450 kilometers off the coast. And nobody's got fishing rods and you've got bullets. So they got done? Yeah. Because I had a corporate book with them. They just have to take them back and drop them off.

Like, we caught them, these naughty kids. Oh, really? Don't let us catch you guys trying to uphold the cruise liner again. Were you just saying we should try and get, instead of entertaining the troops, we'll just go and try and entertain the Somali pirates? Yeah. Get flown over?

Yeah. That's probably a good gig. Yeah, pirates, you know what they want? A live podcast. I think that's what they want. Yeah. Because they can't pick up a signal out there. So they're probably, you know what they want? A live podcast. I think that's what they want. Yeah. Because they can't pick up a signal out there. So they're probably, you know, anyone that can't pick up a signal is probably on the podcast, I think.

Yeah, they need their entertainment delivered live and direct. Yeah, yeah. Any of those, you know, that's our demo. Pirates, ice truckers. Yep. All those sort of people. Astronauts. Let's put this podcast on hold right now.

Let's all get ourselves down to the airport, fly over, we'll be dropped in. It'll be great. Wasn't it with Somalian pirates as well? Like, when did it change from having an eye patch and the old eye Mahatis and whatever to Somalia going, no, no, no, we're going to franchise this.

Yeah, they've really cornered the market. Guys, we've got a massive coastline and people have shit out there. Let's go steal this. Yeah, you've got a lot of people who've got to drive past them to get their shit placed. Is Somalia a thing that you have to go past to get somewhere good?

Why is it Somalia? Oh, yeah. So Somalia, like the northeastern coast of Africa, it's got a massive coastline, and there's two big shipping channels that have to go near there, but it's so bad that even the heroin boats from Afghanistan go around the coast of Somalia.

Have you just gotten all this information from Captain Phillips? Because that's almost word for word of exposition that comes up near the start of the movie. I'm trying to remember because I got given briefs, right? And so I'm in there with all these Navy people and they're giving us a brief. And Tom Hanks. And Tom Hanks. And Wilson. Volleyball. briefs right and so there's i'm in there with all these navy people and they're giving us and tom hanks and tom hanks and wilson volleyball admiral wilson thank you the captain was very sick he had

purple spots on his face i don't know what was happening um but they uh they would give us a brief and then like they'd keep remembering like oh fuck you're a civilian don't remember that bit it's like blah blah blah you can't tell anyone that yeah yeah the meth isn't on this boat after all

just forget about that and my favourite my favourite thing to do in briefs is they'd be giving you like you're in the situation room on the ship

where it's all dark and there's fucking radars and all sorts of stuff and you were in there I got to be in there getting a brief and just halfway through the brief,

take my phone out of my pocket and go, this would be good for Facebook and just see everybody lose their fucking minds. Why didn't they all lose their minds when you walked in? Like, why are you walking in? Because they just want to show you, like everybody on the ship wants to show you that. Oh, Jocky McClown, let's get him in the fucking room

where you can just blow countries up. Yeah, well, there was that spot. They took me in there. The explosives guys got me in a bomb disposal suit, had me playing with the little bomb disposal robot, and I was just driving that around on the flight deck. Yeah, it was fucking awesome. But that's so ridiculous.

Because they get no one on there. I'm like their first mate in seven months. They're like, fucking check this out. That's amazing, though. Like, do other countries, like, you know, would Chinese warships or something be doing the same thing? Like, just getting in some fool, some stand-up. Stand-up.

I mean, yeah. You're the fool in this story, by the way, Nick. Some fucking red-bearded idiot. Not you specifically. Just some fucking Australian fuckhead. But do Chinese warships just get someone on that, like, tells a few jokes and goes, oh, I'll show you exactly how the whole war works. That doesn't seem like the right thing to do for me.

But I thought I'd be the one, and it was the same in Afghanistan. I thought they'd be annoyed that I was there. And it was like someone's brought their kid to work day and they're like, for fuck's sake, I'm trying to do war over here. And this fucking arsehole's walking around. He wants to know where the toilet is. I'm trying to do a war. Don't touch the wall.

Get your hands off the wall. Forget about him. It's bring your open mic at a work day today, guys. But yeah, they're the complete opposite. Like everybody wants to show you exactly what they do. Right. So you just get to see all this fucking cool shit. So you've got real secrets in your head right now.

Mate, proper secrets. Yeah. No one's learning them. How do the boats stay afloat? I don't even know that. Oh, that's classified. That's the bit that's classified. No, because they take it out and then they just explain,

like a lot of people explain things to you like you understand their job completely. So the engineers and everything, they're like, all right, so this engine runs into this and I'm like, look at my hands, man. These are the softest. I don't know how to do anything. I don't change light bulbs.

So if everybody else dies on this ship, you're in charge. You learn how to do all this. Yeah, yeah. If, yeah, are you going to be the, were you doing comedy or were you the girl in Under Siege that jumps in and takes? And the chef. I was. Were you actually, were you employed by Australia to entertain the troops

or were you employed by the enemy? Get their secrets. This guy sucks. Put him on. It's like when they're trying to smoke people out of a house and they'll play bad music really loud. Let's throw in some shit comedy just to really break them. I was actually at Guantanamo just doing trial shows

to people. Welcome to the stage, Waterboard Cody. Here's a bit, I've got some things written down on a piece of paper. I'll just sort of work them out with you, mate.

Yeah, no, you can have him back after he figures out his festival show if you guys actually start killing some overseas enemy. But at the moment, he's going to do

his trial show for you and really stink it up. Just to change the direction a little bit, this is a question that my girlfriend put out the other day that I'm keen to see what you guys think of it, what we think about this. We're driving around and my girlfriend said, if you're buying a house and the number of that house is number 69 yeah sold no okay i don't care

what the condition okay quick question number two question number one answered tick um he was you know the golden the three most important things in real estate house, house number, house number. She reckons that that would bring down the market value of the house. Oh, really? She reckons if you're going for a number 69, you're getting it a bit cheaper. Not for old BW. Yeah. I'd pay more. Yeah, yeah.

If anything. But that was a genuine thing that she thought. She's like, if you've got a family in there, you can't have your your family and number 69 they can't expect you to pay full price especially in head job street i had a friend at high school who lived in coppin street and his number was 69 coppin 69 that's like that yeah you would i don't know about paying more but you'd certainly it'd sway you over buying 67, Coppin Street. They're both on sale at the same time. You can find out at the auction who's going to outbid you

when they say, so we're starting the auction now for 69, and whoever giggles, you go, all right, they're in for this. They're laughing already. That guy with the monocle, he's laughing. Number 69, dude. Yes. That guy with the monocle, he's laughing. Yeah, yeah. Whoever they, number 69, dude, yes. That guy laughing. Oh, and also he's holding a big sack with a dollar sign on it.

We could have a real contender here. Anyone that's still laughing at that hasn't got half a million dollars to buy that house, I'd say. No, I reckon, I don't reckon you're ever not going to find that funny. Yeah. Bidding on numbers. But it's like a sweet, it's like a super sweet personalised number plate as well. Like you probably couldn't get that as a number plate,

just 69. Well, what about maybe, do you reckon there's any super religious neighbourhoods where it's like, in hotels, how they won't have a 13th floor because that's bad luck?

Do you reckon there's any neighbourhoods where they've gotten rid of 69 out of the street? Yeah, yeah. So just go from 67 to... And also, it's sort of a thing where, you know,

if you have a street name called Hedgehog Street or something, that's the thing that's going to be continually stolen. So if you've got a 69 out the front of your house, that's sort of a thing where, you know, if you have a street name called Hedgehog Street or something, like that's the thing that's going to be continually stolen. So if you've got a 69 out the front of your house, that's going to get pinched pretty rapidly. Yeah. What's the worst street name, do you reckon, that's out there that exists?

Like that seriously exists? I don't think there would be many that are that bad. I reckon it would surprise you. Maybe even like a foreign language thing where it's like... Oh, yeah, maybe. AIDS alley. It's rare that you see that they bother to actually name the alleyways. 69 AIDS alley.

That's my address. Sold. Whatever the price. One dollar. Come on. There's a blank check. You fucking fill it out. 69 AIDS Alley.

I'm living there. And you would never get any mail because you keep signing up that address and people are like, good one, fuckhead. And never send it to that address. And I just want to say to you, to the guests, that we don't, I don't know why this is, but we've got glitter on our table, on our podcast table today. Yeah, that's why I was really doing a lot of arts and crafts in this house. Yeah, I've got texters over there, which I –

guys, I copped a bloody roasting for this before the podcast. You wouldn't believe it. I think it's unfair considering there is glitter. There's glitter. My girlfriend was doing a bit of craft earlier today. This mysterious girlfriend. Yeah. No sign of her.

Yeah. No sign of her. Yeah. Just glitter. You've got one of those 101 fun things to do in your school holidays book, I think. Yeah. I got a packet of oodles

down from the supermarket. Do you ever use them? No. You would have had them, Cody. What are oodles? It was like this little crafts thing that you could buy from the newsagents

and it was like a little clear plastic, a little clear pencil case that just had heaps of pipe cleaners and blue tack and oh yeah and boogly eyes in it and stuff and there'd be like a little sheet of things that you can make with all your little crafts in there but the trick was it always be it'd always be like the good stuff to make the good stuff you had to go get a second packet of oodles to like because you didn't have quite enough pipe cleaners and stuff like that so that's what I've been doing here in answer to your question. That's as good a time as any to take a break here.

Yeah, let's all make something. We've got an episode of Australia's Longest Running Serial coming. I haven't told you this, but I just wrote one half an hour ago. Okay, cool. We'll do that. Also, this is a good opportunity to announce someone sent us in. Someone's done their own rad dad theme oh really someone's done a cover version of the rad dad theme so i reckon we put josh earl on ice

for the week okay so that's that's what we're going to start with right now what that's what we're going to start putting now yeah okay i'll do that in post yeah sweet yeah This rad dad guy, well what can I say He lured me in, he's rad dad way I thought he liked his boy His charm turns out he's just really dumb Yeah, what's he mother? It's rad dad With a backwards cap and he sleeps in late It's right there Where's the backwards cab?

And he sleeps in late And falls on his ass when he tries to skate I bought him a car and he crashed it that day I went to work while he sat down and played Xbox It's right there Oh, oh, it's right there. Oh, oh, it's right there. Yeah.

Right there, right there, right there. Say your night. Yeah, it's a bit shit. There's something a bit weird about that kid too. Wakey, wakey, Jenny. Guess what day it is. Get someone to adopt your child day? No.

Because you can do that anyway, even if it's not officially that day, you know, if you want. That's right, Jenny. It's Christmas Day. Some say the raddest day of the year. Although I would argue with that. I say it's July 21. Why?

Well, on July 21, 1985, I was given oral sex by a Vision Streetwear promo girl out the back of a pizza parlor. Well, that seems like a sensible thing to tell your 10-year-old daughter. Anyway, what's that under the tree? It looks like Santa has been, because you know what they say, he knows if you've been naughty or, say it. No. Jenny, say it. Naughty or rad?

Yes. That's some weird branding you're forcing on a child. Open it, Jenny. What did Santa get you? He got me an action figure of a person I have not heard of. Never heard of? Read the name. It's Brendan Walsh.

That's right. Brendan Walsh. You know, American comedian. Very famous. It's not ringing any bells. Pull the cord and you'll hear his catchphrase. 69, dude. Pull it again, Jenny.

Let's hear another one of these catchphrases 69 Dude Slightly different Well this is a Christmas that's making Becoming a Jehovah's Witness look good You're not being very thankful to Santa for your present Jenny I don't know how to tell you this

Rad Dad but there's no such thing as Santa sorry Oh yeah well if there's no Such thing as Santa what's that noise Coming out of the chimney? There's someone coming down it right now on Christmas Day. Look, he's walking out of it. Hi everyone, my name's Nick Cody. I heard you were all celebrating someone's birthday and I just assumed it was mine. Right? Oh cool, a Brendan Walsh doll. Does it say 69, dude? Yeah, you can have it. I don't want it. That's awesome. What a great day. And now it's only 365 days until it's Nick Cody's birthday again then.

365? What a dumb number. You know what I like better? 69, dude! Oh, Rad Dad. Rad Dad is filming in front of a live studio audience. And we're back. Rad Dad is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

And we're back. Let me just check the name of the person who sent that to us. That comes to us from Kate Meadley. So good stuff there. Kato. Meadsy. Where's she from? She is from, that's a good question actually.

I don't think she specifically said where she's from. 69 Kate Meadley Street. Sure. If you reckon you can do a better version of the Rad Dad theme, send it in. Yeah. Especially you, Josh. Get it right. Start taking covers.

Here's something I have discovered just in my ongoing dumb things my girlfriend has done. Okay. We should actually make that a jingle for that um but um someone i came out of the house and someone had done that you know that thing of when you get the uh windscreen wipers and just you know you walk out of your house and someone's drunkenly done that and put oh pulled them up pulled them up yeah yeah and they're just like facing straight out um someone did that to me and i we were going for a run and i said uh i mean oh look what they did and i just walked past it and didn't fix it and she goes no no you gotta fix it like why what does it matter and she goes you know because when

they're like sticking up like that that's like an encouragement for someone to rob your car i don't think that's true at all. It's marked it. Yeah. Right. Like the old shoes over the power lines kind of thing. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. That's like a signal. I don't know whether that means it's a two-man operation. Like it's supposed to mean that someone's on the windscreen wipers. Yeah, one guy cases the giant Casey car. They're casing it. And they've got this little hidden signal that this one's right to go. Very discreet.

Six feet of plastic sticking straight out from the windshield. The cops will never guess. They'll never know. It's like the parking inspectors will just put a tiny bit of chalk under your tyre. You wouldn't notice it. But the thieves stick windscreen wipers straight up in the air. See, so much of your girlfriend's thoughts, like where's that come from? I have no idea.

It's almost like she's delirious when she tells me and when I say, what are you talking about? And then she goes, don't put that on the podcast. And I go, it's completely going on the podcast. What are you talking about? Why say something that dumb if I'm not going to repeat it? You should do before you go home, to put all the windshield wipers sticking out on all the cars on the street.

Yeah. And then so when you walk out with her, she'll see them all on her fucking head. Oh, no. It's a crime wave. No, I know. Christmas Day. It's almost about to be crime wave.

Pre-crime wave. Christmas Day, I'll bring her out and go, honey, your present's in the car and then I walk out and the windscreen wipers are up and all the doors are open

oh no I should have seen the warning sign you could have stopped this if you just put the windscreen wipers down

before you came in the house they took your gift they took everything I had in the old days you used to be leaving your key

in the ignition but nowadays it's just the windscreen wipers yeah that's great and it's the thing that fascinates to be leaving your key in the ignition, but nowadays it's just the windscreen wipers. Yeah, that's great. And the thing that fascinates me most about your girlfriend is you always think that we've gotten, this is it, we've gotten to the end. We've hit the bottom of the dumb well.

Yeah, there can't be any more in there. Let's not say that. Let's not say that because I'll get in big trouble. Please, Carl, don't put this on the podcast, what I just said. Because there must be, like now, there must be at least ten more thoughts like that going around her head. And you can't get them out because she thinks they're normal so she's not going to go check out this weird thing I think.

Like the number of things that you just have to be in front of. Like you just have to see, you know, a goat and then a fact about goats comes out. That's what I should do when I'm short of ideas one week just walk around in front of different things and go yeah what do you reckon about that take it for exotic and foreign locales what's completely normal to you about this thing yeah do me a favor when we're hanging out today have no internal dialogue just say everything aloud and i'll just make notes if we we were to go on Wikipedia and look up this thing in front of you right now, what do you

reckon it'd say? They can fly. Well, that's a good one. Yeah. Oh, man. Anyway. Your girlfriend would be good entertaining the troops. Just dump her on the Navy boat and go, what's that do? Does it bloody... Is Bin Laden in there?

Seriously, is Bin Laden in there? Yeah, yeah. Is that where you keep all the meth down there? Oh, she's got one right. Oh, wow. Yeah. So, yeah, looking forward to... I haven't done any Christmas shopping, so that'll be good.

Mate, you've got a sweet two days. What are you going to get her? I haven't thought about it at all. Okay. Have you done your shopping? Yeah, yeah. Have you? Yeah. Well done. Yeah? Yeah. How many presents do you buy? Mate you got a sweet two days What are you going to get her? I haven't thought about it at all Okay Have you done your shopping? Yeah Have you? Yeah

Well done Yeah? Yeah How many presents do you buy? I don't have to get many Because I'm an orphan I'm a single orphan So just for me

Oh well It's a horrible way to find out your parents are dead But I wasn't aware of that Sorry No I really only have to get girlfriend and parents That's it Not your podcast partner or any mother? You'd be getting your brother something.

That'd be taking up a lot of time. You think so? Working out what to buy for your brother? You'd think so. Are you seeing him this Christmas? I don't think that's in the diary. No? Why not?

Where's he at? Actually, he's having Christmas with my parents today. Oh, what? Yeah, he's not coming to our Christmas lunch this year. He's having Christmas with my parents today. Oh, what? Yeah. He's not coming to our Christmas lunch this year because he was instead trying to encourage my parents to spend Christmas Day with him and his wife at a Mexican restaurant. Yes.

Yeah. That sounds great. Merry Christmas. Just as Jesus wrote that in the Bible. Yeah. That famous painting of Merry Christmas. Just as Jesus wrote that in the Bible. Yeah. That famous painting of baby Jesus in a Taco Bell. Wrapped up like a burrito. Frankincense, myrrh and salsa.

And the three wise men who didn't order anything from the menu. The three wise gringos, please. The three wise illegal aliens. So why did he want to do that? Look, if you're going to start asking why he does things, I don't know. You're not going to get concrete answers. Chandler is just surrounded by people in his life

that he doesn't understand. He's just in a hurricane of confusion. On my bedroom, it just says the one voice of reason. That's me. I'm like in a hurricane of confusion yeah I just on my bedroom it just says the one voice of reason that's me I'm trying to help

everyone else out your world every day is like near the end of being John Malkovich when it's all just going sideways and he goes in the portal

and everyone's just going Malkovich Malkovich you're just walking around going what the fuck what are any of you people on about this makes no sense and that's bad

when you look at a group of people and go, Carl Chandler is the one that makes the most sense out of this group. The voice of reason, yeah. So no Christmas with my brother this year. It's just the folks. It's just going down to the beach. Yep. Spending that with the folks.

I imagine I'm... Reaching the end of your tether and just swimming out to the horizon, Harold Holt style, never to be heard from again. Yeah, something like that. And just obviously me driving down Christmas Eve and probably stopping at Target in Geelong on the way

to get the present for them. Wow. Yeah. So I hope they like toilet paper. No, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Dunny paper.

You know what? That's something my dad would do. My dad's a very practical gift giver you need it yeah that's i go every time i stay at a hotel and they have an extra roll of toilet paper there i fucking take it i put it in my suitcase that's great it's like you're gonna need it it's not like you're gonna have like all this toilet paper stacked up in a room going ah fuck i don't know i'm never gonna use because Because people always take the shower caps and the gels and stuff. Like the shampoos and shit. Yeah, that shit piles up. That's the last time I moved apartments. I had like 900 hotel shampoos.

And it's like, what the fuck am I doing with these? I'm never going to use these. But the toilet paper. Stealing the toilet paper, yeah. I'm going to get onto that. Comes in handy. Yeah. That just makes me think of being a student, though. going to use these but the toilet paper yeah i'm gonna get onto that comes in handy yeah that's that just makes me think of being a student though it just sounds like you're a type you know it's

yeah it's it is kind of weird because that's all my friends would do would go to the pub go to the pub and then buy one beer i'm not stealing paper everywhere i stay in like you know probably a hundred hotels a year. Or maybe not that many. But I'm in hotels really regularly. And they'll have an extra roll wrapped up toilet paper. It's like when I'm packing, I'll fucking throw that in the suitcase. And you know what?

There's a lot of times you run out of toilet paper and that's what's there under the sink. And you're like, fucking good thinking. I do that exact same thing, but with food at the supermarket instead of hotel yeah and he does the same thing he wipes his ass with the food you always run out i'm always right i've run out of toilet paper hey i got a banana in the fridge well we've got we just recently or not recently it's costco it's been here for a years now, but there's only like one of them. And my housemate went the other day and bought toilet paper in bulk, bought a huge thing of it.

And he's like, how great is this? Bloody Costco. It only cost me this much money. This is the best. I'm living the dream. Cheap toilet paper. This is so good. And then he sits down that night and that very night there was an expose

on A Current Affair about Costco. They say it's cheaper, but are they just ripping you off? And the very first example they used was bulk toilet paper, and they're like, not cheaper at all. In fact, $2 more expensive down at Costco. And he's just sitting there going, oh, fuck. It was just the greatest bit of universal timing of just – and, like, just deciding to use toilet paper as the lead example as well and also what a great problem

going oh costco ripped me off two dollars on the paper i wiped my ass with what a horrible life but i can still shit a thousand times this week and not have to leave the house yeah yeah who's winning yeah i need to get him onto the just going into hotels and uh you know yeah yeah you know it's more expensive only getting your toilet paper from hotels just hiring a room every night to get to get it to get a roll of toilet paper i've never bought bulk toilet paper like more than 12 rolls i reckon i've never bought more because i'm worried that it'd be bad toilet paper and then i would just have a hundred rolls of terrible i've never wiped my ass with anything else but bed sheets that's a question if you were staying

if you were staying in a hotel for a long period of time and you were kind of like trying to bulk pile up on the toilet paper so literally

so you're there for a week and every day you're taking the fresh roll and you're putting it in your suitcase so that when the

maids come they have to bring out they're bringing out two new rolls of toilet paper every day that's my question how far would you have to bring out – they're bringing out two new rolls of toilet paper every day. They probably stop after the first or second day. That's my question.

How far would you have to go before they go – This man very sick. It's embarrassing that we have to ask you this and I apologise in advance. Are you stealing the toilet paper and putting it in your suitcase for future use? No, I'm not doing that at all. Okay, again, I'm sorry if this offends you. Can I please look through your suitcase and just check? And second question, why are you dressed as a mummy?

Why is everything in this room made out of paper mache? That would be a dream of mine. What, to dress like a mummy? Have I said this on the show before? I remember my teacher i me having an art teacher or maybe even a graphic design teacher in high school like going you will never progress at this because you i don't know what you're thinking i don't know what you think is a job because that would have me in for art class and i'd just be like designing a house full of

toilet paper that i could just bash put my fist through and like oh if i had a house i'd just be like designing a house full of toilet paper that i could just bash put my fist through and like oh if i had a house i'd put all the pinball machines in that room and all the paper in this room and he'd be like what are you thinking like you're close to adulthood like we're trying to prepare you for a job and you're going i'm a three-year-old with a dream house that you know here's the slide room but i mean that mean, even now, that does sound pretty cool. Yeah, I was going to say, if you had a lot of money, and you could build... So you have a whole room made out of toilet paper.

Yeah. So you just shit wherever. In any direction. It's a dream. Just like where dogs are in a pet store, just shredded newspaper, you just walk in and take a shit and walk out. Made me kitchen out of toilet paper.

People say you shouldn't shit where you eat. Well, I've showed them. So I've got no other option. It's Carly litter. What would you do? What would be if you suddenly got like a lot of money? What would be like one insane extravagant thing that you'd treat yourself to? And I ask this of everyone, not just Carl.

I'd be buying a lot of billboards. Oh, really? Yeah, man. Yeah. Just crazy billboards. Oh, I thought you meant like to have in your house. You mean like around town? No, just like buy all of billboards Oh really? Yeah man Crazy billboards Oh I thought you meant like to have in your house No just like buy all the billboards in town And just put pictures of yourself on there

Fucking That's funny that you say that because there's a comedian Isn't there? A Melbourne comedian Wasn't he telling you one time If he got a lot of money He said to me what would you do If you got this much money and you had to play out into your career, what would you do?

And I said, it was like a million dollars or something. Yeah. And I said, I'd probably somehow, I don't know if this is an actual transaction, but I'd use that money to basically buy myself a spot on network TV, like a stand-up, you know, three minutes, four minutes on a Tonight Show. And then, you know, try and make your career from there. And he's like, you're an idiot. I'm idiot i'm like oh well what's your better response he's like oh i'd put up a billboard uh 50 miles out of town like uh i don't know if that is a better

it is a i wouldn't want to advertise anything though you know just put confusing shit up there you know yeah just make weird slogans yeah you wouldn't want anything out of all that money yeah no no yeah uh take a walking shit anybody ever take a shit while you're walking just walking down the street do we start a new conversation i'm just trying to think of extravagant things to do if you're your pants you can do it now. No, no, not wearing pants. Just, you know, walk down the street. Don't break stride while you take a shit. No. Have you? No.

Oh, not yet. Yeah. But you want to spread that on billboards. Well, yeah, shitting area or something. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know some good slogans to put on the billboard. Just walk down the street and shit.

You're welcome. I'm rich. What would you buy, Cody? What would you lash out with? Warning, your grandmom's horny. Man, I don't know. eating shit you're welcome i'm rich what would you buy cody what would you lash out warning your grandmom's horny man i don't know i i'm i think i'm like chandler in the way the things i like are so fucking cheap like i love full of fruit biscuits oh yeah like m&ms yeah and ice cream and there's things like i've been in amazing places and just staring at it and then

having like i went to petra one of the world heritage listed sites you know the thing from indiana jones yeah like buildings carved out into the and i'm there you know this is pretty fucking amazing and then someone comes past with an ice cream cart and they had snickers ice cream and i was like fucking what yes i can't believe in petra there's my favorite ice cream and I was like, fucking what? Yes! I can't believe in Petra there's my favourite ice cream. And then you look up on the wall and they've got carvings of the Snickers ice cream. It's like, oh they were big fans too. And did you have to pick up the Snickers

and put an equally heavy bag of sand to get that Snickers ice cream off the ice cream cart? You know what's bad? I know what that is in reference to but I've seen no Indiana Jones movie. Really? None. I know what that is in reference to, but I've seen no Indiana Jones movie. Really? None.

Wow, that's pretty impressive. I know that bit of the movie. Yeah. I also know at some point a big ball rolls down a hallway and he's got to get away from that. That's the same bit. Oh, that's the same bit? All right.

That's all I know about Indiana Jones. I haven't seen any of them. And I've only seen the first one. I've only seen the first Back to the Future. I haven't seen any of the Back to the Futures. I just saw a thing somebody posted online that it is... Where we are now is the same time difference from the first Back to the Future.

It was 30 years. That always happens, though. Don't they just do that every two weeks? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone will Photoshop that. Yeah, there's people Photoshop the little... The date. When it puts the thing into the date.

Yeah, there'll be a week where like... Yeah, but it must be... If it's 30 years, it's around now. No, no, it's people Photoshop the little, when it puts the thing into the date. Yeah, there's like, there'll be a week where like, yeah. But it must be, if it's 30 years, it's around now. No, no, it's not a Photoshop. It's just saying like how, you know, how distant, I'm not explaining it well, but like, you know, in 1983, they went back to 1953 and it seemed like so far away. But now we're just as far from 1983 as they were. Well, this is what gets me now because, far away, but now we're just as far from 1983 as they were. Well, this is what gets me now because, you know,

and you might get this as well because you're about the same age as me. Yeah, 24. Yeah. Well, 22 actually. You know when you grow up and like things that were, you know, like when you were a kid, things that were like five years ago, you're like, oh, wow, that's so old because, you know, there'd be, it was almost like black and white TV and stuff like that. And now it's like you watch stuff from 20 years ago you're like oh wow that's so old because you know that did be um it was almost like black

and white tv and stuff like that and now it's like you watch stuff from 20 years ago and go that could be like two years ago that could be three years ago now i was thinking about that recently like with music like there are you know there are you know there are girls we could bang who were born in like 1992 you know that's legal and but like but to them merry christmas we could all bang them we could bang them it's nobody could holler at us for it no one will stop us no one will stop us we just grab them not even there's a little stocking take them the number 69 podcast over boys to the root mobile let's go well what i'm saying is there's like legal people in bars and pubs and stuff

who were like born in 92 and to them like kirk hoban and nirvana is that same kind of like is what we thought of the beatles kind of like that that like just kind of uh they've only had wikipedia they'd never even had to change the microsoft in card at 95 cd yeah sit and wait for it to install yeah it's it's weird getting older because you just kind of see how history operates and how generationally it's just like oh well these people don't know shit they weren't even around then so you. So you can see how history gets rewritten and, yeah, just how things become like, well, that's – You offended my dog with all that rooting young girls talk, by the way. He's cleared off.

He's offended in his ears. He's trying to beat us to the rootmobile. He's our chauffeur. Put a little captain's hat on him. He just barked shotgun. I remember being like when I was a bit younger and people would go, oh, you're born in 1986.

I remember 1986. It's like, yeah, who gives a fuck, grandpa? But now I get it now. It's coming around. It's like, oh, God. Oh, okay. Dog just killed himself. Harry Carey

much dishonorable talk I can't listen anymore to this stupid fucking podcast I'm going to listen to radio there's some legitimacy about that it's like music like you know

I remember you know you listen to Triple J and stuff like that and you go you see people that don't listen to it anymore you go

oh what this is the stuff but now I listen to it and go this is all well and good, but I've heard this now for 20 years. I've heard the cycles. This is the same sort of music that I listen to. I heard the people that inspired this.

I heard the real deal of this band. Yeah. Well, I'm getting to the turning point, like you said, with Triple J where, again, with people going, I don't understand this young people's music. I used to think, I'm never going to be like that. I'm going to remain relevant. I'm going to make an effort to keep up to date.

And now there are times when I'll have Triple J and I go, let's just see what else is going on on the go. And I'll go over to Gold FM and go, oh, now this is some bliss. Some Fleetwood Mac now. This is good stuff. But that's the other thing that Gold FM, for Brendan and anyone else not from Melbourne, it's like our kind of classic hits radio station here. But even like they're starting to play stuff

that came out in like 1995. Like no doubt are on there. That's like 20 years ago now. You know, that's like in the 90s, you hear shit from the 70s and you're like, fuck, that's from the 70s. And now like the 90s are these young people's 70s. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Here we are, Gold FM, pretty fly for a white guy at the Offspring. Yeah, yeah. What? Before you know it, it's going to be like Golden Oldies. people's 70s yeah yeah here we are gold FM pretty fly for a white guy the offspring yeah yeah what before you know it it's gonna be like golden oldies now we're gonna play some Skrillex

yeah yeah that day is gonna be terrifying when that comes well we'll be dead we've rooted ourselves to death some of those sweet 92s

we're talking about I've never listened to music again why would I when there's all these girls out there apparently all these legal girls born in the 90s.

Consensual sex is now outlawed apparently, according to Brendan Walsh. We can just do whatever we want. You should give him a heads up before you bang him. Community service announcement just to round us out. Well, guys, I think that's just about all the time we have for today on The Little Dum Dum Club. Brendan Walsh, Nick Cody, thank you very much for

joining us. Thanks, mate. Brendan, you got things? You here for festival at all? Anything? I'll be back for the festival this year. Oh, great. Excellent. April. Excellent. Buy the tickets. Email me. I need to think of a name for this show. Oh, really? You don't have a name?

69 Age Alley. 69 Comedy Street. Every chick born in 95 is up for grabs. oh really yeah you don't have a name 69 69 comedy street every chick born in 95 is up for grabs I mean it was all like this was nothing was confirmed

until like a week or two ago so I wasn't really you know how much work are you going to put into something it's like well it might not happen

yeah and really it's just I need a name and just an hour of material I mean that's all I really need for the show so if you want to email that in guys if you guys want to I need a name and just an hour of material. I mean, that's all I really need for the show.

So if you want to email that in, guys. If you guys want to email me a name and an hour's worth of stuff to talk about. Preferably entertaining stuff. I did like the lesson you just gave me. Why even try if it might not happen? But it was something in the back of my head. But it's not like I'm going to be working on this hour show. Because it's kind of a specific thing.

For the festival, it's a little different. I go and do an hour's worth of shit when I'm touring in the US. But it's not really like I'm just kind of fucking around. It's not really like a show. You guys have a different approach to what we do here. Well, from what I understand, this is more of like it you know, it's kind of asked to have like a theme. Doesn't have to. Let me,

I'll try and workshop it for you now. Any deceased parents? No, I wish, right? That seems to be the key to success. Sorry, mate. Your show's cancelled.

Fuckers keep holding on. Show's cancelled. Any sudden epiphanies about life? That thing I said about girls born in the 90s. There you go. That's an epiphany.

And that's when I realised. What about Brennan Walsh in a suitcase full of dunny paper? Oh, there we go. That's alright. That actually is something that people do. And the post is you with just a bit of bog roll just like kind of running along behind. Like this look on my face. Like, what have I done now?

And for merch, little rolls with your face kind of printed on the toilet paper. There you go. This is all good stuff. I can delete this if you want, so it's a surprise for the festival. So be on the lookout for that poster. And also, if the girl that did the Red Dead theme wants to just rustle up a new theme for Bread and Show, that'd be great. There you go.

There's a five-minute, five minutes you don't have to write. Yep. Oh, yeah, that'd be great. Nick? show that'd be great there's a there's a five minute five minutes you don't have to write yep oh yeah that'd be great yeah uh nick i think for your poster it should be you holding a calendar of 1995 and holding a box of condoms and the show's called fair game but the condoms expired in 1992 so yeah so what a game brackets who's up for it? Close brackets. No, yeah. What is it? 1990.

What would be legal? 1995. 1995. Yeah, yeah. Call it 1995. And you with a wristwatch and just intently looking at the time as if it's just about to become legal. It'll be 96 by the time I get here.

Yeah. Well, by the time the festival rolls around because that's 2014. A bit of forward sizzle. There you go. Nick Cody, you're going to be doing all the festivals and stuff as well.

Brisbane and Melbourne are on sale now. Yep. Here's Trouble. Yep. Excellent. Is Melbourne on sale for you? Yeah.

Man, I've got to get on to that. That's the name of your show, Here's Trouble? Yeah, Here's Trouble. I'm going to call mine Here's Real Trouble. Here's Trouble. Have you seen Trouble before?

And it's you ripping my poster up. No, you're throwing out the old toilet paper and wiping your ass with his poster. Suitcase full of toilet paper, untouched. Wiping my ass with Nick's face. My show for Brisbane is on sale. It's called Dreamboat.

So make a joke out of that one, smart guy. Shitboat. Hang on, I've got a joke. Dreamshit. Okay, you guys need to confer and choose which one's the best. Not on sale for Melbourne yet, but that's going to be happening. TommyDassolo.com for all the

tickets and all that sort of stuff. Chandler, you're doing, I mean, none of our Melbourne stuff's on sale, but we're going to be doing podcasts and all that sort of stuff. Chandler, you're doing, I mean, none of our Melbourne stuff's on sale, but we're going to be doing podcasts and all that sort of stuff. Yes. We're doing podcasts every Sunday, and we are going to have that on sale very soon because we can. Yes. Yeah, cool.

Let's do it. It'll be on sale really soon. Great. And we'll also have, I mean, this is a lot of forward sizzle, but I think we're going to do the same as last year where we have, I think we have four live podcasts instead of three from last year. We're going to have four this year. year where we have, I think we have four live podcasts instead of three from last year. We're going to have four this year. And concluding with a live unrecorded podcast where anything goes, guys.

Oh, yeah. Instead of now where we're holding ourselves back talking about, you know, having sex with girls that are barely 18. And also I'll have my show on sale. Yeah. And my show is called Carl Chandler's Got Talent. So there you go. Yeah. And my show is called Kyle Chandler's Got Talent. So... Nothing? No.

There you go. More like Kyle Chandler doesn't have talent. Hey, when did Mad Magazine walk into the room? Kyle Chandler's got AIDS. Oh, you've just...

Man, you'd better make sure this show is fucking dynamite because you've given the reviewer who's going for a one-star review the juiciest opening line. Especially when I say Carl Chandler's got AIDS because they're just immediately going to put in the review, good. One word, one star.

Good. Goodbye soon. Thanks very much for listening, guys, and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.