The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 169 - Charlie Pickering & Celia Pacquola

Episode Date: December 30, 2013

One Half Short Of A Car, A Very Chandler Christmas and Wonk!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week thank you very much for joining us my name is Tommy Dasolo sitting next to me the other half of the program Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead. It's officially 2014 when we're putting this up. Is it? Yep. Is it? It is. Yeah, it is. The 1st of January. All right. Good. Happy New Year, Tommy. Happy New Year.

What did you do last night? I followed you around. Okay. And I... Oh, I remember now. Yeah. Yeah, with mistletoe saying, it's never too late.

Yeah, I do remember this now. It's weird that I had to ask you about something that happened last night. Especially when I was trying to kiss you all night. Yeah. You'd think that would stick in the old brain box. Yeah, it's all coming back. This is going to be weird.

Hey, I've got something. I've got a follow-up to something that I don't think we've talked about that happened on our Facebook page a couple of weeks ago. A friend of the show, Madeline Stokes, posted a message saying that she listens from Spain and that she is a teacher over there. Oh, yes. And that she's got her class onto – her class are very fascinated with kind of Australian things. She teaches a class over there. Oh, yes. And that she's got her class onto, her class are very fascinated with kind of Australian

things. She teaches a class of kids and that she's gotten them into saying, hey mates, at the start of class. Yeah. And you said, you got to take a video of that and send it to us. Well, I've got here a bit of footage. I'll play this into the, we'll put this video up on the website so that people can have a look.

Hey mates. Hey mates. Yeah. What an abuse of power. I love it. Hey mate Hey mate Yeah What an abuse of power I love it So that was Hang on hang on I didn't listen to the first half of that story

That was you in the video? Was that you? That was your voice? Yeah that's me And my class Of all my children That I teach In my compound every morning

Yeah So that's That's pretty cool. Yeah, that's awesome. A class of Spanish children being co-opted into our little... Are they listeners? Do we know if they listen or is it just... I hope so.

We should see if the Spanish government can fly us over to do a show and tell. Yeah. Can we do a Barcelona Life podcast? Sounds great. Let's bring our guests in for today. Please welcome her back on the Little Dum Dum Club Celia Bacola Happy New Year

Yeah, what did you do last night? I survived That's what I did I made it I'm here Feels good, doesn't it? It does, it feels really good And was your resolution to immediately do a bit of a shitty podcast?

Yeah, but then I changed my mind and came here Oh, what? She got us in reverse Did I? I'm so glad that made sense You only start a sentence ago That sort of positivity does not belong on this podcast, Celia It was an accident, Julie, I meant to give you shit, did I not? It's going to be a great year

And also joining us, you know him from the project Please welcome back in Little Dumb Dumb Club, Charlie Pickering Hi guys Hi How was your New Year's Eve? I worked Oh, really? I did the show last night.

So did I. I worked on your show. Yeah, that's right. Just before you went off and followed Tommy around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I worked Christmas Eve, Christmas night, and New Year's Eve, and I'm doing New Year's Day. And that's because I made a pretty stupid bet with myself during the year when I wanted to take a certain amount of holiday time.

I was like, I'm going to use up all of my holidays to take some trips during the year, betting that there's no way that they'd do the show live Christmas week, New Year's. There's no way they'd want me in the studio for that so when they go well you know you still you you've used up all your leave you can't go on holiday and i was just thinking that i would go well there's no show so i'm happy to come in and do some work i'll tell you what i'll work from home those days i will work from home those days making live tv in

my house and uh then they called my bluff. And so we've been doing the show all through holidays and I'm pretty sure they're doing it just to spite me. Because it's on Christmas Day, does that mean that they were planning just a complete skeleton crew but then all of a sudden you're the only normal member that's dragged in there? So it's just you hosting the show with like a daddo in there

and Kerry and Kennelly. There has been an interesting cast of people, but what's been great, Sam Mack has been filling in, which has been great. I love hanging out with Sam Mack. Is he in town? Is he in Melbourne? Yeah.

So he's taking some time off. Oh, because Wake Up aren't on air. No, no, no. They go on holiday. Just the project. Just the project on air. Studio 10, they got the time off. Studio 10 got some time no. They go on holiday. Just the project. Just the project on air. Studio 10, they got the time off. Studio 10 got some time off.

Ida's sleeping in at the moment. Yeah. To be fair, I think those shows will come back from their holidays to see that Ida's not working anymore probably. Is there a chance of that happening? No, I wouldn't say that. Channel 10's very committed to their breakfast TV schedule. This is a long-term plan.

You don't win this battle in a couple of weeks. You win it over a number of years. And that is what Channel 10 are trying to do. Man, from what I... You are totally keeping your job up. From what I said, I think I may not be working New Year's Eve anymore. That's right. Yeah, where were you last night? It's like Back to the Future now.

I'm just being wiped out of the New Year's Eve party photo from the project. So of those episodes that you've now done on Christmas Day and New Year's Eve, what's been your favourite story that's come up over the last week? Well, we've been – like, here's what doesn't make sense. I, well, we've been, like, here's what doesn't make sense. I've been in studio live throwing to highlights of stuff from the year.

So obviously the best one, Christmas Eve, we rolled out the Ron Burgundy Anchorman special that we did up in Sydney. That was pretty great. Is there any set up to this, like, you, you know, going into a coma and remembering all these crazy moments from the project. Simpsons clip episode style. Really pisses me off.

Like really pisses me off. Like when I found out that I had to work over Christmas, I was like, that's fine. But I want to do the show from in front of a fireplace. Yes. With carolers singing in the corner and a big like winter Cosby sweater on. You know, like with a moose on the front, eggnog and... And maybe reading little bits of news coming out from those ticker tape machine things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then Michael Chamberlain said, that's the mansion, you can't remake that. And so we couldn't do that. I'm pretty sure we had a ticker tape machine at the mansion. Chamberlain very wisely bought up all the rights to the mansion before it was taken off. Which is remarkable because we both own it.

We did a Christmas special because we only ever did one season of the mansion and the deal was for 12 episodes and a best of at the end. And we're doing the best of in like October and there was like never a doubt, like never a doubt that it would be a Christmas special. Like the moment when you were doing best of, Michael and I said in unison, Christmas special.

But what happened? We hired a black, like African black choir to sing Christmas carols in the background of our Christmas special. And we're there, we spent the whole episode where we're drinking eggnog and we're writing our Christmas cards with this awesome, like, Ladysmith Black Mambazo style choir behind us singing Christmas carols.

But then we got them singing, like, Live Aid's Christmas song and, like, some really out there Christmas songs. They rehearsed the shit out of it and they were awesome and it's still probably my favourite thing I've ever done yeah we recorded this show

two weeks ago at Chambo's house the choir's still in there he got them at the end of the show what he didn't tell me you got the ticket to the machine

he got the choir yeah I said can you hire that black choir that we used that time and he was like yes and I didn't know that he actually

bought them. Yeah. Yep. And I'm not comfortable with that. Well, you'd be happy to know he's taking good care of them. They seem, you know, he's feeding them well. They've got all the clothes and books they could ever need. They all weighed about 30 kilos when you had them, didn't they?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, cool. I think they're about the same. Yeah. Just one thing with your podcast. I've been watching I've been catching up On a lot of shows

Like I didn't Watch Breaking Bad Whenever I watched it So I'm catching up That's not a podcast But anyway Yeah No but what I'm saying

Is like There is visual for that show If you want to Download it No thanks Appreciate it But what I was just going to ask you guys

To act it out So Oh okay So tell me If you can be Heisenberg And I'm going to have to insist On being Skylar if you can be Heisenberg. I'm going to have to insist on being Skylar.

Thank you. That's an interesting job people have describing what, for movies, for blind people, what people look like. Oh, really? Yeah. Is that really a thing? Yeah, a friend of mine's job.

Hang on, I need to concentrate so I'm getting this around the right way. So they, for, yeah, for blind people to describe what their facial expressions look like. So like someone walks in and looks angry? But yeah, it's a really important job. What if you just go, oh, fuck, he's coming through the window.

You know what that is? You know what that is? That is a TV guide dog. Yeah. That is a thing. But aren't you then stepping on a lot of the movie? Like aren't you going, so the look on his face is kind of his lip is a bit kind of curled up and he's got bad. Oh, no, hang on. I just talked over a whole bunch of exposition. Like aren't you going, so the look on his face, his lip is a bit kind of curled up and he's got bad, oh no, hang on, I just talked over a whole bunch

of exposition. Hang on, rewind. We've got to go back so you can hear what's going on. Yeah, but that's why you have to be really amazing at choosing the right words because there's a smile but then there's a hundred different types of smile. There's a look that's like I'm going to kill you look. Like a soprano is going to be a nightmare every time

someone goes, oh. How quick does it have to talk? Was it I'm going to kill you or was it, I don't know, really quick? And hopefully they don't record it like in a cinema for movies. It's just like you get hired to sit beside someone. It's the guy from the start.

What would be really funny, like my dad, like I imagine my dad doing it and the thing about my dad is he cannot follow plot for shit, but he knows every movie that every actor's ever been in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he's like, he'd be just like, it's Ed Harris, you remember him from Enemy of the Gate? And like that. I don't know what he's doing here, but he was excellent in another film. And he goes, now, who was he again? Like, so it would be like- I was going to say, I'd be the opposite.

That would be mine of the whole, I wouldn't describe anything. I'd be going, oh God, no, it's that, oh. He was a cop. Who is he? I know he's so familiar normally a bad guy but played a good guy once and it was weird but what I was going to say about the podcast

is you guys like for people who haven't heard every dum-dum club you should have a previously on little dum-dum club that's a really good idea at the start of it and then it just made me think the one what I always say is Previously on Water Rats for no apparent reason.

But then I just thought, why don't you guys just do Previously on Water Rats at the start of Little Dum Dum Club. So at the start of every podcast, you give a recap gradually of what happened on Water Rats with Felpsy and friends. I like that. I don't mind.

That's good. That's very good. Okay. But it's always the same. That's the easy thing. It's like previously on Water Rats, oh, some shit happened on Sydney Harbour and we caught them with a boat.

Yeah. You know. Or it could just be every week it's previously on a different show that we're somehow inserted into. That's exactly right. And we could get the actual grab from the OC. We'll go back and post and do that for this episode

because actually last week we had Colin Friel's on the show. So it'll work out. Well, just this quickly ties into... Sweet Colin Freels reference. Is there any other kind? He's sitting somewhere right now going, huh, what's happened again? That was left over from my Malcolm podcast.

Someone's just scored some big points on their Dumb Dumb Club bingo board. That's the car cut in half. Car split in half. Which like you saw that, I remember when I was a kid, I saw the preview for Malcolm and it looked wacky

because you saw the car split and all that. That was not a wacky movie. Nice. It was a bit of a... That was, welcome to depressing stuff in Spotswood.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hide that. Backward society, learning to cope with people who are different to us. Yeah. I got six dollars from my mum to get that from Waddle Video

in Maribor to see the car split in half. That went for like two minutes. Yeah. Out of a 98 minute movie. They should have, like, if they really wanted to give the people what they want, the movie should have been Malcolm and the car that split in half.

Yeah, yeah. And just do different things you can do with a car split in half. Yeah, yeah. It's like driving along, you know, I want to go to the movies, I want to go to the shops. Yeah. Okay, meet you back here in an hour and you just go off on your own. I want KFC drive-thru, I want Macca's drive-thru Yeah, yes

Now she gets you shot Here's a bit of ageist gear coming up I have no idea what we're talking about Oh my god! It was a movie called Malcolm It wasn't live, you can actually go back and find it I've gathered that a car splits in half in it And it sort of seems like that's all I need to know

The name Malcolm does have an air of Herbie, the love bug about it as well. So you think it's a bit zany and a bit wacky, but no, very much about depression, crime with a few gizmos. It was the era of weird male names and a bit of weird technology involved. Malcolm, Daryl. Daryl. He lost me. I'm out now.

Which was Daryl? No, Daryl rings a bell. Daryl had, but it was Daryl like as an acronym. So it spelt out Daryl. A really clunky way where it spells out Darda and Reconstructed. Oh, we haven't thought this through. Why? Why do we have to pick a name with Y in it? Nothing starts with Y.

What never really made sense to me, they used the car splitting in half thing, right? And they did it for a purpose. Like, you know, they were in a crisis situation driving along where it required a car splitting in half. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it turned out they had it. And even as a kid, I was going,

why the fuck did they invent that? Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, there was no, like, there was, sure they needed it for that situation, but that was a not predicted situation. Yeah. That was an unexpected situation yeah why did he invent a car that split in half like i know he was kind of an inventory sort of guy was he was he i think this before we understood what asperger's was yes i think it was

that i think it was exactly that so so back then it was just malcolm's a bit different yeah like before we had a word for asperger's yeah mal, Malcolm's a bit one half short of a car. Yeah. Oh, wow. I do. One half short of a car. Sweet. Someone at Film Victoria who retired 10 years ago is really hurt by that.

Next up, Spotswood. Yeah. Spotswood starring... Anthony Hopkins. Anthony Hopkins. That was a great movie, Spotswood. And I presume Colin Friel's again. Do you know what I didn't understand about Spotswood? I'm like, you make a movie in Spotswood

and you don't go to Science Works? What the fuck? They've got a planetarium that blows your fucking mind, man. That's an Hamilton On a bicycle guys And they could have They could have been like You know Lucasfilm They would have been

Skywalker Rance They would have done The special effects Totally They would have Absolutely done it What an awesome movie If you've got science works

Doing the special effects But the special effects Were all like You know this Corrugated tube If you spin it around Your head It goes

And now you've walked Into this little room where they just walk up to that door up there oh no the door's only one inch long but it looked big from over there what's going on i know charlie when i talked to you about coming on the show you said you specifically said good because i want to talk about christmas because you've been watching a lot of christmas movies i'm going to have to tell you exactly what happened because you've completely forgotten yeah i can't remember what I wanted to talk about about Christmas. Oh, good.

Well, what Christmas movies have you been watching? I've been, like, I've got a thing where for December my wife and I watched just Christmas movies and Breaking Bad. But, like, every night we watched different Christmas movies and some of them are amazing. Like, some of them are the greatest movies. Holy Night, Deadly Night yeah that we have

not watched the scariest actually we're in the middle of you know the Jim Carrey Christmas Carol like it's like an animated version of Charles Dickens

Christmas Carol and that's some scary shit like that's like like yeah I'm 36 I should not be scared

of it but it was like can't show that to kids kids would be scared by that how are you was like, can't show that to kids. Kids would be scared by that. How are you choosing your films? Do they have to be ones you haven't seen before? No, there are some classics which we'll watch every year, such as... Muppets Christmas Carol.

Sorry, pardon? The Muppets Christmas Carol. Yeah, Muppets Christmas Carol, Die Hard. Nothing Says Christmas, like Nakatomi Plaza. But the other ones, Miracle on 34th Street, It's a Wonderful Life. Polar Express is in there. I've always had a soft spot for Polar Express. Jingle All the Way?

No, we did not watch Jingle All the Way. But we've been getting into some other ones recently. But what has occurred to me, that's what I wanted to say about Christmas. Yes. Yes. I've been listening. We also listen to mainly Christmas music. And we get fully into Christmas. Right. Yes. I've been listening. We also listen to mainly Christmas music and like we get fully into Christmas. Right.

Wow. Considering that my wife is Jewish and I converted to Judaism to get married, it's pretty weird, right? It's a very weird thing. I would not have picked that about you. Which the Christmas thing. It was the Christmas thing. Not the anti-Semitic angle that you're putting right now.

Because you can't tell by looking. Well, you can by looking under the hood. Literally. Half a hood. Half a hood. Half a skin shot of the bris. The Christmas thing. But I always have.

I've always been enormously into Christmas. And here's what I've realised listening to a lot of Christmas music this year. There is a certain inbuilt insecurity about Christmas. I'm saying Christmas has a certain number of self-esteem issues. Right. Because all the songs are about reminding everyone what we do at Christmas. Yeah, yeah. Because all the songs are about reminding everyone what we do at Christmas.

Yeah, yeah. Have you, like, you know, like it's all like, all right, deck the halls with boughs of holly. Fa la la la la la. It's like, okay, we've got to put holly up everywhere. And it's all like chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Okay, so we've got to roast chestnuts. And it's a constant list of all the stuff you like about Christmas.

But it sounds to me like every year everyone needs to be reminded going, okay do you remember what we do? We drink eggnog and we put up a tree and we give each other presents. So we get a pumpkin and we cut it right? No, no, no! Get the albums out! So naggy! Always nagging you with those carols and that carol has come around and you just

crack it. You're like, I know! I know what to do! It's not a carol, it's a to-do list people are bringing around. But it's always like sleigh bells. As though when you hear sleigh bells, you're going to go, sleigh bells, is it Labor Day? Is it Idaho County Fair Day? It just doesn't make sense to me how self-reminding it is.

And I just wonder if other cultures and traditions do that as much. Or maybe they all do. I just haven't... Maybe we just don't hear the songs as often. But Charlie, to be fair, have you decked your halls? With boughs of fucking holly. Yeah, but have you actually done it? No, I've never... See, there you go.

See, they're just going to have to keep doing it until the message sinks in. Then they should sing at the start of the song, take it or leave it, here's a rough checklist of what you may want to do this Christmas. Yeah, most songs are very final, not enough really. There's not enough songs that give you the option

of listening to the advice or not listening to the advice. Or maybe there's a little bit in the song where it goes, deck the halls with, what is it? Bows of holly. Bows of holly. And then leaves a gap for you to go, tick. Like a to-do list.

But the fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, that's the time for you to put the bows of Holly up. Oh, right, right, right. When they sing fa-la-la-la-la-la after everything, that's like, you know, when you've got a read-along storybook, turn the page. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a soundtrack to you getting off your fat ass and doing it. Also in Australia, we sort of need to be Reminded because it doesn't If you just look outside it just looks like a normal day I've spent one Christmas in the UK And it does feel like Christmas is supposed to be Cold You know what I mean

It's totally winter suits Christmas Here Chestnuts roasting on an open fire Oh no I've burned out a town. Total fire ban. We can't. That should be on the fire danger sign outside the towns. No chestnuts.

No chestnuts on open fire. We try. Like, bless us with our six white boomers. Yeah, I know. Because that's the thing. We're talking about this and you go, oh, of course that's not applicable here. Why don't they change it to a... Oh, no, I've seen the result of that.

No, I don't want that. That's bad. Yeah, what about when they have the Aussie-themed Christmas cards and it's just Santa and a pair of boardies holding a surfboard? Santa and some sunnies. Hilarious. Oh, fuck me. Roasting a reindeer on the barbecue.

Come on, guys, it's almost ready. Santa with some boat people, bring him off to Christmas Island, you know. Topical, hey? A bit of topical gear, hey? I can do old school, I can do new school. Chandler gets political. What about, when did you find out that, well, look for the younger listeners of the podcast,

you can tune out now. But, when did you find out about Santa? What about Santa? That he's great, everyone. What are you talking about? What else is happening? That he's great, everyone. What are you talking about? That he's the best and most awesome person in the world and he brings Christmas to everyone?

It's funny, I was actually having a I was talking to Steve Vizard yesterday. Name drop, motherfuckers. When did you first find out that Steve Vizard wasn't real? Yesterday was the first time I found out that Steve Vizard wasn't Santa. And that was

pretty hard to get my head around. No, we were talking about it and both of us remember when we were told that Santa wasn't real being like the worst day of our childhood. Which, look, I will say is a sign of a pretty good childhood. If that's the low point of your childhood...

Unless you found out... ...you've done pretty well. He wasn't real when he took his pants off and... Yeah, unless it's like he wasn't real and you were keeping the secret about him for no good reason initiative. Just imagine this classroom of children just crying now. They can't understand a word of that.

It's in Spain. Yeah, after the teacher made all the effort to translate this word for word into Spanish So that they can hear it for a little Christmas treat So my mum sat me down and told me And I'm trying to remember I think it was like a few months out from Christmas Shouldn't you find out accidentally? Why was there a need for your mum to sit you down?

Well she had perpetrated the lie. Right, okay. So I think it was probably important for her to bring it up. I don't know. It might have been as late as like grade six or something like that. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, that's why you needed to know. You're like, before you go to university, you really need to know.

You don't want to go to high school. Being in high school going, hey guys, how excited are you that Santa's coming to town? Why are you hitting me? I can buy the brandy myself to leave out the Santa. Hey,

Melissa, do you want to accompany me to my formal? Hopefully I'll get you a corsage from Santa this year and then I'll pass on to you. I hope Santa brings me some condom. You should find out before you lose your virginity. That should be. I wonder if anyone's ever lost their virginity

and still believed in Santa. Don't say that because there's a technicality that takes us into a very weird area. No, no, I mean, no, no. I mean, purely sensual. Cut out what I said. I took that to a bad place. I'm really sorry.

You just spelled out something. It's ironic when the person telling you not to take it into a bad place by saying that then takes it into the bad place. Sorry. I don't remember. You don't remember. I remember knowing. Hang on.

Are we talking about Santa or about the other bit? Santa. Because our house was an L shape and I remember hiding with my sisters in my room waiting for the light to go off So I remember knowing it was mum leaving the presents there But the pretense was still sort of up So we waited for the light to go on and then she'd go to bed

Because you sort of know but you don't care Because you're like well I'm getting shit for free There's no victims here Because when you're a kid you pay for everything Okay well you're getting shit Oh every night dinner arrives Gratis That's a bit more money in my pocket Motherfucker Well, you're getting shit. Oh, every night dinner arrives. Gratis.

That's a bit more money in my pocket, motherfucker. Thanks, restaurant a la mum. It's like bloody lentil is anything in here. But I totally get the idea. Like it's an extra present at least. Like, you know, it's an extra present from someone else with the same handwriting as my mum. There's a level of self-delusion going on there. Yeah. But also just like I reckon it was sad for my parents too oh for sure because i used to have a

ball with the faking of it like because we'd put out like we put out carrots and water for the reindeer right you know in like a in like buckets and so they would this is fucking hilarious that would be in the back garden and then they would have all of these sort of theories. Like they'd have a bit of chomped up carrot and leave it in the front garden. It's like, oh, the reindeer dropped it as they flew over the roof. How do you notice chomped up carrot?

Because you go out in the morning and fucking look for it and there's like a bit of... Are you sure that wasn't your dad getting home pissed from the pub? Dad always came home late on Christmas Eve, but he'd come home to... What was very funny is there was a point where he was like, do you know, I think Santa would definitely prefer some port. So he started making orders. So he'd come home and have a mince pie and a bit of port

before he headed off to bed. But they'd do stuff like, they would try and make hoof prints of the reindeer. Like they really, no wonder I still believed it. Yeah, yeah. That's made me angry at my lazy ass parents for not doing any of that stuff. But I reckon they... Had some reindeer that split in half and then blew off.

It's really funny because when I was a kid, we used to talk about Tommy's parents and how lazy they were. I think there's a Christmas they were. The great mythology of my parents. I'd say prayers at night. God bless mommy. God bless daddy. And thank you God for not making them like Tommy's parents. Mr and Mrs all...

I think I've met your parents and they love you. I'm very sorry. You know Mr and Mrs all stop the lazy ass parents. Yeah. Had a very shitty attitude. You know Mr and Mrs all stopped the lazy ass parents. Yeah, yeah. When you got told. Had a very shitty kid. When you got told that Santa wasn't real, did you then get it with the whole,

because I remember being told he's not real, but then the whole story of, you know, he used to be real. He was this guy that went around and did this, and then the parents all wanted to, like I got this whole kind of, yeah, I got a bit of sweetener about the whole mythology of how Santa first started up. None of you are from the country, are you? I am.

Did the internet exist when this happened? Your parents went to Wikipedia and looked up... Or they went to look up how to break it to your kids that Santa doesn't exist? Yeah, no, I don't know. You said a thing? I'm going to look that up right now. But do you know what...

Sorry. Oh, no, I'm just interested what your... Because we didn't get none of this flowery, like even when animals died. It was just that rabbit is now dead. Like none of this hand-holding kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah, right.

Did you have a harsh – No, no, no. I think I found that through school kids. Yeah. I think they just – no, you know what? My good friend who listens to the show, Peter Field, he came to school one day and went, guess what?

I found Castle Greyskull under my mum's bed last night. Great. So I don't think there's... Awful. Either there's no Santa or my joint is haunted. Do you know what I think would be good for parents? They should roll all of the awkward conversations you have to have with kids into one and and so it all comes like you you get less hurt about santa because your

parents start talking about where babies come from yeah you know just go santa claus isn't real but when a man and woman love each other daddy's penis gets really erect and like and then you're just going what the fuck and i because we were saying the fuck? Because we were saying this, I feel like we were saying this very recently on the show, but I feel like the Santa discussion should happen at school, like sex ed. Teachers do it. Because I remember it was just bedlam in the playground because half the people, half the kids know that he's not real,

the other half don't. I remember me and my mate getting into a fight about whether or not he was real. It feels like there should just be a blanket. Everyone finds out at once. Because if you want to make the decision for your children to tell them that he's not real, someone else who they don't want their kid –

you have no control over what information they're getting. I remember overhearing my brother having a conversation with a schoolmate and him saying, you know how Santa isn't real? And my brother going, what? And then I just burst into the bedroom going, who wants to play cricket, guys? What's going on?

Because I was just like very protective going, no, no, no. He's two years younger than me. He should still be believing in Santa. And just me coming and going, let's go out and find pornography in the bush. Can I make the obvious point about why this should not happen at schools? And then I've got another point that I have to make, which is going to be like telling everyone that Santa's not real. I'll just have a break it to you.

Number one, it's because it's like religion. Schools cannot decide what kids believe and what they don't believe. That is entirely for a family to decide. And let's face it, it's a made-up story about some magic man that makes everything okay. So it's right in the sweet spot for religion, right? man that makes everything okay. So it's right in the sweet spot for religion, right?

Two, the extent to which we are now talking about Christmas-related things would suggest to me that this might not be New Year's Day. No. No. No, not at all. Not at all. It's all fresh in our minds because it happened last week. Do you know how it is literally like flicking a fucking switch the moment Christmas Day arrives and you flick a switch

and it's just like, right, cricket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember as a kid, I remember hearing, like getting up, because you wake up insanely early because you're so looking forward to it all happening. And I woke up really insanely early and I walked out to the Christmas tree and there was nothing there. Oh, shit.

And I went, what? And then I went to my parents' room and woke them up and went, Santa didn't come this year. And they went, oh, shit. Is this what happened to you, Carl? They did the same. That would have been the best way for you to find out on Christmas morning. No, but I didn't find out because they just went, oh, shit.

And then they go, oh, it might be too early. Hang on, what's that else? Oh, I think he's on his way. You better go back to bed or he won't come at all. I'm like, oh, okay. And went straight back to bed and then like heard someone in the backyard or something like heard some bump on the window and went oh shit and really just like hid under my bed and then came out like an hour late and all the presents are

there and i was like oh well that all worked out for the best that's so funny whatever you're like you are like the most beautifully gullible child yeah but it's just like Mum, dad Am I adopted? And say Oh what's that? Do you hear Do you hear your real parents? I'd love it if that Of course you believe What you want to believe

So I was like Yeah sure Does the finish of this story End up with me with free shit? Yeah Then sure You know whatever A hippo can talk

Whatever you want But the reason Santa has endured Is there are so many Brilliant Little trap doors of logic Built into fucking Santa that are amazing. Like, oh, you'll never see him. Right? You'll never see him.

So if you creep out to see him, he won't come. Like, that's fucking great. So, like, all of these little mysteries wrapped up in this guy that have just – and it's obviously early days of Santa. Like, early, early days of Santa, it's like, yeah, so Santa comes at night and leaves the presents. And so a kid stays up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the parents just go.

Oh, yeah, it's funny. Parents go, oh, if you stay up, he won't come. Yeah, yeah. Off to bed. And also you've been misbehaving a bit. What have I got as leverage to use over here? I love the carrot and stick. Also, if you fuck around.

Carrot and stick is great. Yeah. Although there could be more stick. Could be a bit more punishment from Santa. Yeah. Rather than just not leaving a present. You know, in some places it's like a lump of coal. Yeah, yeah.

But some places, without doing a David Sedaris bit, like at some places, like Santa comes and beats kids with a stick. Oh, yeah. Like that's the, that's the, it's like in some Scandinavian countries, it's like Santa's a lovely man and then he arrives and he's got like a birch branch that he whips kiss with if they think bad.

You know who doesn't get enough publicity? The Sandman. What happened to that guy? Yeah. He gets fucked all.

Sleepy time guy. Yeah. And he has to work every night. Every night. What about the Tooth Fairy who deals in cash?

Tooth Fairy. I know. Which is better than some underwear. But I would argue the Tooth Fairy does have a higher profile than the Sandman.

I think there's sort of a difference. Yeah for sure. Toothoth Fairy does have a higher profile than Sandman. I think there's... Yeah, for sure. Tooth Fairy is celebrated. Absolutely. Sandman. And they tried with the Sandman Carol. Seriously. By the Andrews sisters.

Oh, no. I thought you were going to say by Metallica. Well, yeah. That was their attempt to rebrand. They did big work for him. That was such a 90s corporate rebranding of the Sandman. You know, the kids, what are they into? Heavy metal music.

Let's hire the Metallicas. So the end half of that story, of my story about Christmas. Just quietly, I love the sound. Like if you're hearing that bump in the backyard, if that was like a legitimate home invasion and you're like, oh, it better not get up. And then you get up like your parents are murdered, like all the stuff's gone.

Like, oh no, where is he? So not only that, so that was this cutesy little story where, you know, I got up a bit too early and you know. So then years later, I sort of recalled it and said to my parents, so, hey, remember that time when I got up and there was no presents and I went and told you guys and then you said,

oh, you better get back to bed. I think Santa's coming any second. And then I got up and dad was just like, yeah, I was pissed that night. Yeah, I just got drunk, forgot all about it, come home from the pub late,

forgot all about it. And then you walked in and mum went, oh, you dickhead. And then I had to get up and do it and then he's like laughing and then because I reminded him of that now every year, he'll go at Christmas

he'll go, I wonder if Santa's coming a bit late this year again, Carl. I wonder if you better should go to bed again and wait for Santa to come along. Ah, you little dickhead. Yeah, I was sick in the story, Dad. Is it going to get more and more dysfunctional over time that he just goes, oh, I wonder if Santa's

going to come again. And you go, yeah, I wonder if you're going to drink too much again, asshole. Oh, I wonder if your little drinking problem is still around. Ha, ha, ha, have a tipple, smartass. I love when these sorts of stories come up because it's just one more little piece of the puzzle of young Chandler that helps to kind of give more of an understanding of the whole picture that we see before us. Yeah, it was a great tale.

And then Santa split in half. Oh, just quickly about the movies. Have you come across the Christmas movie with Olivia Newton-John playing a mannequin who comes to life as a little kid wishes for a mum? Oh, my God. I remember it from when I was a kid. Yeah.

And if only someone had the internet and could find out what it was called. I just have a vague memory. I haven't watched in years. It was one of those daytime ones. Tommy, have you seen that one? Do you think it was pre or post the movie Mannequin which was weird where a mannequin in a department store

comes to life and a guy falls in love with it. It's like a weird 80s love movie. It's Samantha from Sex and the City, isn't it? It is Samantha from Sex and the City. And that was around the same time as Electric Dreams where I think he makes a woman with a computer, which is around the same time as Weird Science where they make a woman as a science project.

And all of them just add up to people. Like clearly people that lacked the socialisation to actually get a partner, making them off the grid, just off the human grid in some way. And didn't want to order a sex doll. Yeah. But that's the thing now. The other thing now is people... I've seen a documentary about people who buy those life-size...

Very elaborate sex dolls. Yeah, but, like, heaps of them in their houses with a wife. There's this guy who has a wife and they take care of them together and put them in different outfits and take them out. Oh, yeah, that's getting into like – have you ever seen My Strange Addiction? Yes, probably one of them, yeah. There's a guy that's addicted to blow-up pool toys and he's got like 20 of them and he sleeps with them

and he's got names and backstories for all of them. Olivia Newton-John is not making it easy. She's made 18 films and three of them are Christmas movies. What are those? Wow. Maybe it was – I'm pretty sure it was Olivia Newton-John is not making it easy she's made 18 films and three of them are Christmas movies what are those wow maybe it was I'm pretty sure

it was Olivia Newton-John there's The Christmas Angel A Story on Ice nah hang on wait wait by ice

can we guess by ice like was this way ahead of its fucking time so Breaking Bad is a Christmas tale after all

do you have the synopsis there? Can we guess what the synopsis is? No, I think I'm pretty sure I know which one it is. It's not a Christmas angel story in ice. It's not a Christmas romance from 1994. My tip is it's 1990s A Mom for Christmas. Yeah.

There you go. That's it. She's not real. I can't remember what happened to me. She plays Amy Miller. And that was the first movie she made after being in Michael Jackson's Liberian Girl music video. There you go.

Oh. Michael Jackson's Liberian Girl? Librarian Girl? No, Liberian Girl. I wish they all could be... What the fuck? Don't you remember Liberian Girl? No.

Is it Siberian Girl? No, no, no. Liberia is a place. Like African country, Liberia. Yeah. Liberian? No, no, no. Liberia is a place.

Like African country, Liberia. Yeah. I did some pretty early George W. Bush stand-up about Liberia. Oh, really? Yeah. Sorry, bringing back some memories. Just about him thinking. No, about him getting it confused. He was just like, because there was some unrest in Liberia,

but they were a colony with great links to America and he wouldn't send troops in to help because he was like, I hate Liberias. I never like going to Liberia. They're boring. Anyway, that was, like I said, some very early George W. Bush. And you're doing that bit of the spring Christmas party,

opening the show with that tonight, aren't you? I mean, you would have a week ago. You would have a week ago. That's an interesting bit of trivia, though, just before about Olivia Newton-John. Who do you reckon is the actor who's been in the most Christmas movies? Santa. Nailed it.

Nailed it. It's Santa. I reckon... I saw one with the guy... Jimmy Stewart. Yeah? I'm going to go Jimmy Stewart. I'm going to say he was in one.

Three seems like a lot for Newton-John. That's actually a good point. Actually, maybe. I reckon maybe one of the cast of Seventh Heaven. Any of the cast. Let's be honest. Sinbad is probably made more than one. Oh, yeah.

What I want to ask about you, Celia, with all the movies, because you've been in, you're the proper actor. Oh. You've been doing quite a lot of that business. You've been making Believe. You've been making believe. I've been making believe. Are you working right now at the moment or you've broken for Christmas? So who are you being right now?

And what show are you on at the moment? I'm doing some more Offspring. So not right now, so it's on a break. Yeah, sure. So you were on it last season and so you're on it this season. Are you on the opening credits? Oh, fuck no. Oh, really, sure. Sure. So you were on it last season. And so you're on it this season. Do you, are you on the opening credits? Oh, fuck no. Oh, really?

Yeah. Oh, damn. Sorry. I'm too small. My part's too small. Oh, okay. I might be like, why is that person who sold a coffee to Nina once dancing on the couch with them?

That'd be awesome if on the opening credits you had cafe worker number two. Yeah, yeah. On the opening credits. Celia Piccolo as a coffee shop girl. Yeah. But it'd be great if your role gets bigger, that you can demand to be like the Heather Locklear and you have special guests.

Special guests every week. Yeah. So do you, now because I'm such a super amateur with acting, does that mean that you, how far into the role do you get as an actor how much do you know about your character uh this one well not much i mean it depends like the one when i did laid when that was more a full-time job than more yeah because they're more around it but this one is it's almost like an extended cameo like i'm a small part. So do you go into that going, what if I worked in a coffee shop?

Is it like, okay, I'm me serving a coffee in a coffee shop. Because it's such a... Because you know you pretty well. I do know... All of my acting is me. Like, I don't know how to not be me with a different dress on. That's interesting. But different aspects. So this character...

And they don't... Because it's a small part, it's not like they tell you how to do it and it's different And they don't Because it's a small part It's not like they They tell you how to do it And it's different directors In blocks So it's not someone You're not working

With the same people Like I've never sat down And they've gone This is how we want you to play it So you just sort of guess And then they'll tell you I just want to say As a coffee shop worker

I was pretty nervous Serving out a tea to you Before I know Because I thought Man you are going to Pick apart my process But with this part And I did Utopia recently as well,

which was good, and that was just pretty much me being straight. But with this part, she's – No, a lot of coffee. With this one, she's clearly comedy relief and she's silly. So the main two characters is just an idiot. She's a bit pathetic and hopeful. So I do big eyes big smile stupid expression right it's how i get into the character burning your hand on the coffee

machine every five minutes yeah giving people soy instead of regular milk putting 17 sugars in and then going i've got no beanies everyone but what have you had any new any recent no no no i love have you heard carl's audition stories no no no i no. Have you heard Carl's audition stories? No, no, no. I don't even get... Ever since I knocked back Rad Dad in a Target catalogue, I don't even get the call anymore. I don't even get the call. Was Rad Dad riding a skateboard? No, Rad Dad had a baby bassinet thing on his chest

and I was overseas. The only reason I knocked it back is because I was overseas and it did break my heart that I could have been in a Target catalogue. That would be such a great fucking thing to have. I could have been masturbated over by a teenage boy with very short sight. Give me five. Yeah. I've got a question about playing a comedic,

comic relief character in a television show. And that is, I find, as a comedian, what a lot of television dramas think is comedy is not comedy. And, for example, I'm going to use an example not from my network, and I'm going to go with Packed to the Rafters. Perfect. Thank you. I watched one episode of Packed to the Rafters. Perfect. Thank you. I watched one episode of Packed to the Rafters and I was like, in what fucking land that does not exist

is this amusing? Yeah. Was it hijinks? It was hijinks but it was like a normal scene but with slightly wonky music over the top to suggest that what was going on was funny. And here's the thing, that show has been enormously successful and I guess maybe I'm out of touch with the mainstream,

perfectly comfortable with that fucking idea. And another sign of that is you're talking about a show that's no longer on TV. Right, right. Good point. But what I always thought was like I would find it difficult being in a situation where they go, okay, your character is the comedy character.

And if I looked at the script and said, that's funny, why are there no fucking jokes on the page? Yeah. I'm very glad you bring this up. My parents love Packed to the Rafters, can't stop going on about how funny it is and have even tried to give me a bit of advice going, you know, if you want to have success, you should watch it.

You should watch it and you should take on some of the comedy tips from Packed to the Rafters and it drives me crazy. But the problem is I reckon the jokes... The great Rebecca Gibney, who couldn't learn a tip or two. The comic master that is Carbo. The thing is, the cast is amazing. They're all extremely good actors. The production values on it were fucking through the roof.

And I love the fact that a whole bunch of people were very employed making that show. And I think that's a great thing. I've got no problem with that. It's just not my sense of humour. Yep. Or a sense of humour. And so it's just like, but that's the thing,

like not all shows are for everyone. And there would be some people that love that show that if they watched what I do on TV would go, how the fuck does this guy call himself a comedian? And I know that because they tweet that to me. Perfectly comfortable with that. Not everyone's going to be into the same things. Are you comfortable with that?

But I'm curious to know, are there ever times where you look at a script and go, I'm going to do what you ask, but just so we're clear, that ain't a fucking joke. Well, I am currently working on it and I don't want to say anything about it. It's been really great to be involved. And they're a pretty great team that make off. They're an amazing team and the scripts are great.

And it's very much me saying that I feel I am the comedy relief. They've never sat me down and gone, we've got you in for a bit of zany, but that's clearly what my job is. And it's fine. That'd be pretty good if they said, we just need a little bit of comedy in the show, so zany, but that's clearly what my job is. And it's fine. That'd be pretty good if they said, we just need a little bit of comedy in this show, so Celia, you're doing that. And then Eddie Perfect's off to the side going,

what the fuck am I? No, no, but you know what I mean? Or really funny if after a couple of months, someone pulled you aside and said, you're here for gravitas? Like you are meant to be helping her get through this shit? Did you not read page one? You're dying of cancer. You are a happy cancer patient.

I've really been goofballing it up because you just have to guess. Classic Celia. That's what I'm doing. But one example that I would give you, but the thing, I think this, you know, and it's for me, I'm not a really, I'm not a trained actor. I'm just sort of guessing and going along. It's the most non-comedy show I've been in because it's not technically like it's a dramedy, but it is funny.

And I think it is funny and well scripted. But like, for example, in the first series, there was a scene where I was on the phone and I didn't want to be on the phone and I grabbed bits of paper and pretended I was going through a tunnel. Do you know what I mean? Like that, I see on paper and I go, ah, that's...

That's a joke. Yeah. But it was fine. But yeah, so it's nothing that I'm like, oh my god, I don't want to do it. That would have been too high concept for Packed to the Roof. Really? I've got to go back and watch... I've watched one episode. I've watched

one episode and I was just like... Nah, people won't understand what the paper sounds like going through a tunnel. We're going to have to cut that joke guys. That's not going to make any sense. What do they do? Does someone just walk in and like fall down some stairs? No, I'm sorry. I was going to reference something that walk in and like fall down some stairs charlie you've kind of nailed it because on back to the rafters the joke is kind of like the music changes a little bit while someone's talking like i've always found that's how they do a joke midway through ascendance the music will go but you've also like what people listening

can't see there is you made a funny body face yeah and that's another thing that happens it's like body face like it's like i don't know wonk it's just like classic normal person you need a bit of wonky now it's like that's what it's like the writers gone do you know what comedy is comedy is when people are having a conversation and then at the end, someone goes a bit wonk. That's just the perfect... I felt like I always knew where the funny bit was when someone walked by in the background with a tuba playing.

That's such a great name for a character in a dramedy, wonk. Our funny neighbour, wonk. Here he is. Now, as you can imagine, the role of wonk is to add a bit of humour, a bit of spice to what's going on. So they're going to have a conversation about how Sun's moving out and that's a sad thing that the house will be empty.

And then at the end, you spill a cup of tea and go, Wonk, Wonk, Wonk. Listen, Wonk hits just over here. So just calm down. No, I wasn't accusing you of playing the Wonk role. That's all right. But I'm just asking because I'm very curious about acting, about that process. Wonk could be like Doctor Who'm just asking because I'm very curious about acting.

Wonk could be like Doctor Who, just a different comedian plays wonk every episode. He's always completely, he regenerates every night when he goes to sleep. And you never know who it's going to be. And then someone goes, I want an acting school designed for training people in wonk. Welcome to Wonk 101.

Welcome to Wonk Academy. Instead of that happy and sad, You know the happy and sad mask? There's happy, sad and wonk face as well. Amazing. But yeah, I don't want to sound like I love doing it. You've been completely positive. We're the ones that are ripping the piss. As an employee

of the network, I've targeted Packed to the Rafters very heavily. But here's what I want to ask then, because you've had quite a bit of acting. I don't think I've ever seen you act, Charlie. Now, surely coming up, you would have gone for, at least if not acted, then auditioned for acting roles. You're in a music video, aren't you?

Yeah, I'm in a music video. Opposites attract. Are you that cat? Yeah, I am in a music video. Opposites attract. Are you that cat? Yeah, I am DJ Rat Cat. No, I am in a film clip, Groove Terminator, and the track's called You Can't See. It's got Cool Keith rapping on it. Really?

I have, I'm like a real, I don't know if you remember Morris Minor and the Majors. I sure do. We look like those guys. We're like those kind of old school b-boys. You look a bit like him now. Thanks, appreciate it. With shitty gold chains and matching Adidas trackies and Michael Chamberlain's

in it. We actually wrote the clip. We were working at Exit Films with the director who had the job of making the clip and we brainstormed it and put this clip together and we have a breakdance battle with Arthur who's a dwarf. And so basically what happens is we're hanging out on a street and a pretty girl comes along and we're a little bit rapey about

and maybe hassling her a little bit, you know, like that and we don't let her pass. But we do it using bad like rap moves. Like we are shit ass, right? Anyway, so Arthur comes along and says, hey guys, fucking cut that shit out. He, you know, like the girl gets away, but we get angry with him and we chase him.

Defying science, he outruns us to a warehouse. I like that you point that out, given that you wrote it as well, by the way. But we run into a warehouse where he is he hooks up with his mates he's wearing red we're wearing blue we're enemy gang

bloods and crips that makes it easy for me to know who to bear for so he hooks up with his mates who are wicked force who are amazing breakers

and so we have this breakdance battle and I do particularly shit breakdancing there's a point where Michael's lying on his side trying to spin around

and he can't, so I'm there spinning him on the ground and explaining what's meant to be going on. Like it's – yeah, anyway, I've over-explained this. Look it up on YouTube and you don't need me doing movies for the blind. But yeah, so that's a thing that I did. I've done a tiny bit of acting here and there. I did, before stand-up, I did heaps of sketches. And Michael Chamberlain and I made a pilot of just sketches.

Yeah, yeah. Blue Heelers, you ever been in Blue Heelers? Ever auditioned for Blue Heelers? I would love that. But I would have just loved to be local working folk by the bar in Blue Heelers. Yeah, that would have been good. Just someone ordering a glass, a glass of beer. Remember glasses of beer?

Yeah. Have you ever... Was that a country thing or is that a... Glass of beer. I don't know. I moved. What they call a pony, I think now. Oh, right.

A pony? You know, does anyone here drunk beer before? No. Midi. It's like midi, schooner, pot, pint. Yeah, below pot. Below pot. Below pot. Is a midi. No, no, no. Midi is a pot midi, schooner, pot, pine Yeah, below pot Below pot Below pot

Is a midi No, no, no Midi's a pot Pot's the smallest And then the pony or the glass It's a thimble Yeah, a ballet shoe of beer Bring me

No, there's a A pony A glass It's like a country RSL sort of a thing Yeah, they're very small You said you're from the country Yeah, I know But I moved out the day I turned 18

So before that I was drinking So you weren't allowed to drink before that Well, that's five years after you You said you're from the country. Yeah, I know, but I moved out the day I turned 18. So before that I was drinking. That's five years after you're allowed to drink in the country. Nah, I'm out of here. I did. I got my license on my 18th birthday and I left. Never looked back. Just straight into a car and straight down the city highway. To the golden future and opportunity that was Churnside Park.

The city highway. To the golden future and opportunity that was Turnside Park. So, like, you know how, like, you've gone out and done things and have made a name for yourself in the world. Does the fact that you left at 18 mean that you don't get the glorious homecoming to your small town? You know, like, whenever Husey goes to Warrnambool, he probably walks around and goes, fucking check my shit out. Oh, right.

I'm fucking Husey. Warrnambool, bitches walks around And goes fucking check my shit out I'm fucking Husey Warrnambool bitches Yep Right Do you get to go back Or they go No we remember you left The day you turned 18

Didn't even have a drink And if I remember You were flipping us the bird No We wouldn't have a glass of beer with you You said nah Straight to Churnside Park That's too sad

It gets awkward Oh okay Sorry Oh no Oh dear Wonk Wonk Wonk It's too sad to start. It gets awkward. Oh, okay. Sorry. Oh, no. Oh, dear. Wonk. Wonk. Wonk.

Come back, wonk. Wonk. We've got to get wonk up. Let's get wonk up as a thing. Wonk's great. Wonk's really useful. I always cry, but I don't go back out there much. Yeah, right.

Well, yeah. See, I would never go back and try and do something in my hometown of Maribor. Yes, you have. No, I haven't. Haven't you? Didn't you go back out there? No. No, I've still...

I've never been beaten up yet. So I would remember that. Yeah. I like to pick random... That day's coming, by the way. On my holidays, I like to pick random small towns and pretend I came from there and announce that I'm coming back. Yes.

So I'll ring like the Gundagai leader and go, just so you I'm coming back. So I'll ring like the Gundagai leader and go just so you know, coming home. I get a bit of a parade. You know, free drinks all night at the pub. Bit of a how you going. I often get people pretend to be my

grandparents. You can always do the thing of, I don't know if you remember me, I used to be pretty fat oh yeah I think so fat Charlie Pickering yeah old fatty CP

yeah yeah fat Chuck but I do fake comeuppance for things that never happened like I go up to the prettiest girl

in the town and go like yeah remember when I asked you to the formal you wouldn't go with me because I was fat

big mistake walk out like pretty woman moment and walk out Carrie Bickmore Yeah, remember when I asked you to the formal and you wouldn't go with me because I was fat? Big mistake. Walk out like pretty woman moment and walk out. Carrie Bickmore, that could have been you. You could have been on the desk with me. And then there's just one guy in the background. Wonk. The old wonk. Well, guys, I think that's just about all the time we have for today on the Little Dum Dum Club.

Celia Piccola, Charlie Pickering, thank you very much for joining us. Thank you. Celia, you're doing the festivals this year, 2014. This year. It's called

Let Me Know How It All Works Out. Yes. Melbourne and Just Melbourne. Just Melbourne. Just Melbourne at this stage. Cool.

Hey, if you haven't seen Celia, just fucking do. Yeah. Wonk. That was one of my favourite shows I've ever seen, a Celia show. So there you go. What about you, Charlie Pickering? Are you doing shows I've ever seen. Celia's show. So there you go.

What about you, Charlie Pickering? Are you doing a show this year? I'm doing a show. I'm just doing Adelaide. I'm doing a show at the Canberra Comedy Festival. No, Melbourne. That's great. Not doing Melbourne this year.

Canberra's good fun. Yeah, I can't wait. And I think Waleed and I might be doing a World's Problem Solved up in Brisbane. We're trying to sort that out at the moment. No, Melbourne. You've had too many homecoming parades in Melbourne. Coming back going, I'm back, guys. You never left, fuckhead. That's trying to sort that out at the moment. No, Melbourne, you've had too many homecoming parades in Melbourne. Coming back going, I'm back, guys.

You never left, fuckhead. That's the irony being I'm actually from here. But no, I'm not because I couldn't do something good enough. Like I didn't have enough time to put something on. Sure. Which it would have been my, I think my 18th consecutive Melbourne comedy first tour. So this is the first year that I've done it. You blew it. Like that's pretty,

that's a lot. So I might try and do something so I can lie and say that I've done an unbroken run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because 20 is a good marketing tool. You can come and do a podcast, a live podcast with us. We've got podcast,

live podcast on sale. Yep. Sure. Great. Yeah. I'll be there. Great. Yeah, do that. There you Yep. Sure. Great. Yeah. I'll be there. Great. Sundays.

Yeah. Yeah. Do that. There you go. Awesome. Great. Done. Can I get a producer's pass from you guys?

Yes. So I can get in some shit for free? Yeah. You can get into our show for free. Can I be... No. Can I get one of the passes? Yes. Yeah.

Great. Sure. Good shit, guys. Let's have Wonk as a walk-on for all our live festivals. Actually, can you get a pass under the name, like, registered name of producer Wonk? Sure. And I have to tell you what, after this, take a photo of me doing Wonk face. We should all be doing Wonk face in the photo for the episode.

We should. We should absolutely do that. I'm on sale for the Brisbane Comedy Festival, March the 4th till the 9th my new show Dreamboat I think our Melbourne stuff should be on sale soon but that's definitely happening we're going to get the yeah the live podcast

is a lot more easier to get on sale soon so we'll put that on sale yeah we'll put that up really soon check out my video series Cheap Lunch

if you haven't done that yet CheapLunch.TV our live birthday episode of course if you haven't checked that out lots of great feedback on it thanks very much our t-shirts

there's only about 350 shopping days until Christmas 2014 so get on to that yep um yeah happy new year guys thanks very much for listening and 2014 is just gonna be bloody great i can just feel it uh thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time see you mates