The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 174 - Lehmo & Ronny Chieng

Episode Date: February 4, 2014

Buckwheat Pillows, Street Dogs and Tsing Tao.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and sitting opposite me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead. Hey, I've got some gifts for you. Oh. I've got some stuff for you. Really?

See this big box behind me? Yeah. You've been looking at it this whole time. That's all stuff for you in there. What do you mean? So a listener of the show, I don't know if you remember a little while ago, we were talking about when I went and bought new pillows and I got upsold the sweat cushion. Yeah.

So a listener who works at a bedding supply company, I then talked about her getting in touch and I sort of made fun of her because she was only offering to send us the sweat rags and I kind of said, where's the rest of the bedding supply yeah and she got quite angry at that because she you know me calling her out for being a tight ass yeah so this big box arrived the other day she sent us both uh this is for us now this is for you this is 375 thread count sheets there's a top sheet in there there's a bottom sheet as well there's some we have to go to bed together yes yes the condition uh there's also what's in here? This is some kind of, I think this is one of those kind of sweat pillow

cushion things. I feel like I'm on an old footy show now. Where you're giving out the box of roses chocolate. Yeah, the gift shop. The waterproof mattress protector for when you piss the beds. That's good. And here, there's a big memory foam pillow for you Oh wow

And I did make you get the train here So good luck carrying all these things home with you on public transport So yeah Oh man So shout out to Cara Eason I can't remember what company she works for She'd probably appreciate me saying But yeah

Surely it's going to say on that big Because it's a massive box It is huge yeah So we've got one It came from Here we go Beds and Dreams. 10 Colliton Road, Minchinbury, New South Wales.

Wow. So Beds and Dreams. If you're going past Minchinbury or whatever the fuck that is, if that is indeed an actual town, drop in. Cash for Comment has taken over the podcasting world. Anyone else who wants to send us stuff? So there we go. Finally, we're always desperately begging for people

to send us out free stuff. Finally, it's paid off. Why don't we have any listeners at the Mint? That is unfair. That's awesome because that's massive things. So I'm assuming that I'm not the only person to get these gifts, that you got one as well. Yeah, there was two of each.

Oh, right. Because the way you put it is like, I'm getting the gifts and they're sent to you. Yeah, so it's kind of, you know, you'd sort of think that you kind of hear on paper, oh, you're getting some free bedding stuff, which you sort of go, well, that's pretty boring and practical. But, you know, you put a new pillow down and it's great. Like it is...

I'm not sure if I need memory foam. I don't need anything remembering what I do in bed, I don't think. Well, let's get into our guest today on the show, two of our good mates. First of all, you will have seen him on Problems and Dirty Laundry Live. Welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Ronnie Chang. What up, bro? You ever got any free stuff, Ronnie, through comedy? Free stuff through comedy.

Someone made a T-shirt of me once. That's pretty good. And they sent it to you. No, they wore it to my gig. That's not a gift. That's officially not a gift. No, you're right. I've got a gift for you right now. I'm wearing it. You can't have that either though.

Right, right. That wasn't a gift. You're right, wasn't it? That's a nice thing that someone did. Do you think every day is Christmas? Walking down the street, seeing things going, you shouldn't have guys. Yeah, I know. Why did I think that he gave that to me? He didn't give it to me, yeah.

I have a photo of it, but he didn't give it to me. He gave you the compliment of liking your work enough to... Yeah, that's a gift. Yeah, that's a gift. He took something from you. He took your likeness. He actually took my likeness, you're right. You should sue this prick.

It's anti-Christmas. And also joining us, someone who I reckon would have received a number of treats over the years from Before the Game and Gold FM Breakfast, please welcome back in a little dum-dum club, Limo. Great to be here, guys. Actually, Ronnie and I were saying on the way here, we came together, we were saying on the way here how we're both a little short of bedding. That big bunk bed that you guys share. Yeah, so I don't know if beds and dreams.

Beds and dreams. Beds and dreams. Please. Who Dreams. If Beds and Dreams. Please. Who knows if they've got what we're after. Thank God we have, like last week, we have no employees of the ABC here, so we don't need to now go through Captain Snooze and 40 Wings. We can just say Beds and Dreams and not have to plug all the others. I think I was actually disappearing into that seat he's sitting in at the moment.

With the camouflage shorts on, you are just... It's very comfortable. There hasn't been enough visual stimulation in this episode yet. Can you describe for the people listening what you just saw? Yeah, yeah. So, Lemo's on a chair that has kind of a florally print on it. I think I said enough. I said he was wearing camouflage pants.

And Lemo's wearing camouflage pants. And he's literally camouflaging into the chair. Into the chair. So, if we get attacked in this room, guess who's going to have weird fash? Well, your groin will be okay. Limo, no one will get,

I won't get kicked in the balls. It's like you're not single because single ladies could walk in and go, Limo, positive, yeah, he's got a job, negative, no groin.

No groin. Exactly. Kendo Limo, yeah. Whereas I'm in a relationship, my fiance insists I wear these. You would have gotten some sweet freebie kickbacks, surely. I've worked in commercial radio for over ten years.

The amount of shit that has landed on my desk over the years. Honestly, I wish I'd kept a list from the start. But I've received everything from clothes to crockery to food to toys to movie tickets to CDs. Food? Like actual food gets sent into the station? Yeah, yeah. We get sent food all the time. It's ridiculous.

Like for breakfast, people will send chocolate and go, enjoy the chocolate. Which is why everyone who works in breakfast radio is fat. Yeah. Like seriously. You study people in breakfast radio. Is it food companies that are sending or just listeners that go, oh, Limo, you know,

I like him chatting along on the way to work here. He's a cherry rock. Yeah, no, no. It's food companies. There are rules about listener food. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. What are the rules apart from don't touch it?

You've got to be very careful about listener food. Yeah. Because you don't know. You don't know. Like a stranger. Are there any rules? A stranger walked up to you in the street about listener food. Yeah. Because you don't know. You don't know. Like a stranger. Are there any rules? A stranger walked up to you in the street and said, hey, Carl, I love Dum Dum Club.

Here's a sandwich. Would you eat the sandwich? Are there any rules about listener sleepwear? Is there any? Listener Manchester? No, that's coming from Beds and Dreams. That's mine. Yeah, I should have got the old CSI sperm torch out on these

Beds and Dreams stuff. What fine. Yeah, I should have got the old CSI sperm torch out on these Beds and Dreams stuff. What if someone's pranking us? And on the sandwiches that people are giving me in the street. But you wouldn't take a sandwich in the street. A moose, though, I reckon you'd be tempted. A stranger coming up to you with a moose. Definitely, for sure. What if, like, a moose in a package, like, you know, from a supermarket,

but the package has clearly been opened ahead of time? Are you still eating the moose? No, I'm not that desperate but why did you how did you pick a mousse so clearly because I just know that I've been doing this

for over three years I've had one today yeah of course you have chocolate mousse that's your thing wow I'm reasonably obsessed by it

well I wouldn't have picked that yeah well why would you yeah exactly how could you look at someone and go moose yeah

he was so specific about moose yeah I know I've got a sweet tooth and that's my specific it's my number one well I don't think you know how awesome

this present is because memory pillows man that's a thing yeah like my girlfriend spent a lot of money on a crappy pillow

because we thought like I think sleep is one of the most important things in the day, right? So it's important to have the right equipment to sleep with. Yeah.

And having a nice pillow is one of, is part of that. And we learned the harsh lesson that having the most expensive pillow isn't necessarily the best. Oh, really? Yeah.

No memory. No memory. Every night going, I don't know what the fuck happened last night. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. Right. Did you find yourself yelling at the pillow? Yeah.

Why don't you know the shape of my head? We shouldn't have got one of those promo pillows from the movie Memento. Every five minutes, just resetting the headship. We had some ratty-ass pillows for ages, and you just sort of think a pillow's a pillow, who cares? But as soon as you've been at an upgrade and get a good one, man, you really realise that you've been living like a chump this whole time

I've found good pillows that I love and I sleep like a treat on the pillows but you know when you stop at a hotel

and you get those wafer thin shitty pillows and then you sound like a douche if you complain about pillows other pillows aren't

soft enough if i stay with my parents if i go back to their house or their beach house uh they have wafer thin pillows and i'm the idiot going you know where's your proper pillows and i just look ungrateful and then i'm literally getting towels out tea towels whatever i can and just building them up and having five layers of just material. So if you were reviewing the beach house, you'd get location-grade pillows. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm going away tomorrow for 10 days.

I'm really contemplating being a guy who takes his own pillow with him when he travels. Get the neck pillow on right now and just do it all the way to the airport. Have it surgically grafted onto my neck. Can you have a memory neck pillow? Yeah, yeah. That's pretty good. Wait, what pillow do you use right now?

Just like a good kind of, I don't know. It's pretty thick, yeah. Is it buckwheat? Oh, mate, I'm not that into it. You're not into pillows? I'm in over my head here. Is it what? Buckwheat pillow? Buckwheat pillow, yeah.

What does that mean? So inside it contains like buckwheat. Oh, yeah. Story checks out. Hey, Lemo, you've switched your microphone off. No, I don't. I've been looking. Oh, turn off the microphone.

There we go. So, Ronnie, have you got a buckwheat pillow? Nope. I've been looking for buckwheat pillow ever since I saw it on TV shopping network when I was 10. You've been looking ever since. Ironically, have you heard of Google? Yeah, but for some reason it's never,

because some other pillow always comes to distract itself when the buckwheat pillow's there. Everyone's looking at buckwheat pillow, and then they're like, oh, why don't you try this foam pillow instead? I'm like, oh, okay, I'll try the foam one. What is it about buckwheat that has you so... I don't know.

Supposedly it's light. It doesn't absorb water Something about it There's something That's supposed to be awesome Where if you sleep on it You'll like go into a coma Just go into Just go into Baker's Delight

And get Fill up your pillowcase With some stuff from out the back You are the most specific person I know In terms of You need everything Exactly the right way

Like I don't think it's OCD I don't know what it is Right What do you Because Ronnie's a prima donna, everyone. It's just being awesome. Because you sat me down one night

and talked to me for 40 minutes about your backpack and how you, you know, I think you'd been looking for that backpack since you were eight years old before the buckwheat pillow. No, no, no.

I'm just, I reached a point where I don't have a lot of money but I have enough money where I don't want to buy the same thing over. I want to get the best of whatever I get. So I spend like months researching every single. So everything you're wearing at the moment,

is that the best possible t-shirt you can wear? This is a bad example right now. I'm just wearing dress casual. I ran out of the house a bit, but can you, are you able to identify other people? So if you meet someone who's, so they might pull up on a certain car or certain bike with the clothes

and you would straight away, like Terminator. Analyze exactly what they're wearing. Analyze what they're wearing. Let me see. Do you, when you go to your fussy club meeting, do you hang out with the...

I'm not fussy. My fussy, I'm a pretty easygoing guy. If you saw someone drinking like an Asahi beer, how would you improve that? Why? Is that a reference to, is that a reference to,

oh, I would probably advise him to drink Tsingtao. Oh. Yeah, Tsingtao beer. I'm just testing you. Tsingtao. Now, yeah, well, let's get on to that. He's... Because Ronnie, have you seen this, Lemo?

Does anybody know there's a dog here? Yeah, that's my dog. Okay, cool. That's not a street dog. Yeah, I didn't know you had a dog. I saw it. No, no, no. There's a fifth microphone.

The dog... It's a pretty cute dog. The dog does the traffic report midway through the show. Ronnie brought that with him. That's the best designed dog in the world. He's been searching for that. Is this the best breed of dog? I reckon it is, yeah.

Jack Russell Poodle. This is Jack Russell Poodle? Yeah, he's pretty compact. He's small. He's fluffy. That dog is like 15. And look how spry and lively he is. You know what?

I was never into, because we're going to get a dog this year. It's one of our goals. Would you like that one? Well, I was never into little yapper dogs, right? Which is what I would call them, little dogs. Until, I'm so easily swayed, right? Kel and I were talking to Danny Green recently,

the boxer, who I love, right? And my partner Kel loves him as well. Just so we know, before we recorded, you already dropped the note, you were texting Rob Sitch before the show, and now you're hanging out with Danny Green. I like it because you're telling Rob Sitch about TV shows, Danny Green's telling you about dogs. Yeah, yeah.

No, no, Danny, Rob Sitch asked me something about a TV show, so I'm not telling Rob Sitch about it, because that could make me sound like a bit of a Michael. I'm telling Rob Sitch asked me something about a TV show, so I'm not telling Rob Sitch about it because that could make me sound like a bit of a Michael. I'm telling Rob Sitch about TV shows. He asked me something which I was responding to. Anyway, so Danny Green mentions his dogs, and I say, what kind of dogs have you got? What do you reckon Danny Green owns? Two of them.

Same breed. Boxer? I reckon, given the way you set it up, yappy ones. Chihuahuas. Two Chihuahuas. Yes. Wow. Two Chihuahuas.

And he showed his pictures and then all of a sudden I go, oh yeah, they'd be kind of cool, those little dogs. Oh, really? Is that one of my least favourite breeds of dog, I reckon. Is that one of those boy named Sue things where he has like these really effeminate dogs, goes out to walk, someone goes, nice dog, poof right training time bang it's on uh yeah maybe i that would be that would be a bad call so you're getting green on his dogs chihuahuas you're gonna chihuahua you're so i'm so i'm open to the idea of a little dog yeah ronnie how does that stack up with you well yeah where are they

in your top 10 ron? Top ten of best dogs? I don't know, man. Don't pretend you don't have it. I don't know. But here's the thing, though. I've always wondered how do people know what a breed of dog looks like? I feel like I'm the only guy on the planet who doesn't know breeds of dogs. So if I say Labrador, you just have nothing in the fire?

I don't know what that is. I don't know what that looks like. That's exactly the same as my girlfriend, except she is very confident just calling it. She'll just make nothing in the file. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that looks like. That's exactly the same as my girlfriend except she is very confident just calling it. She'll just make one up every time. It's not a joke. She'll look at that and go, Labrador.

And you go, that's not a Labrador. She goes, oh, okay. That's a fridge, sweetheart. Just nothing. Just nothing to back it up.

I don't know dog breeds. I know what Bulldog is. But if someone goes, and the crazier ones are when they have mixed breed. If they go, oh, that's half – I mean, there's no dog that you're just describing it. Oh, my dog is half Staffy, half Labrador. And everyone's like, oh, yeah, that's really cute. I'm like, how do you know what that looks like? You don't know what that looks like.

I know the main ones, but then there's a lot of – Subbreeds. Yeah, there's some dogs I'll see at the park where I'll go, I don't know what had sex there. That could be anything. The great ones now, I want to get onto, Limo,

because you've just come back from Thailand. Thailand is one of my favourite places for dogs because I love dogs and street dogs in Thailand are awesome. I know, they're delicious over there. Oh man, I should have been eating dog instead of whatever I ate

the last time I went. We had some of the best dog burger. That's one thing they've done right there is just dogs running around the streets. We need more street dogs here. Well, we stayed at this villa on the beach in Phuket and my girlfriend is a crazy animal lover and she does verge on crazy sometimes. Anyway, there's four street dogs hanging out on the beach.

So she goes down and feeds them day one. So all of a sudden, she's feeding street dogs three days a week. And then, of course, dogs know there's food, so more dogs appear. So by the end, there's like seven dogs around every morning. We're not allowed to eat breakfast because there needs to be enough leftovers for the

seven dogs my girlfriend did that on PP Island with cats but would do it sort of outside this one restaurant so then you could

just tell all these cats were like coming back and the restaurant are going thanks a lot lady now it's just cat bonanza

here every day and Kel will ignore warnings as well we were in South Africa on this safari thing and the place where we were staying they specifically say do not feed the monkeys and they really make a And Kel will ignore warnings as well. We were in South Africa on this safari thing,

and the place where we were staying, they specifically say, do not feed the monkeys, and they really make a big deal about it. You were hanging out with Nelson Mandela over there, I bet. Telling him to start watching Weeds. So Charlize Theron is in the next room, right? When you check in, they say, don't feed the monkeys. There are signs in your room

Do not feed the monkeys Yeah yeah What does Keldy Walk into her room There's monkeys out in the back Oh I'll feed the monkeys There's fucking signs everywhere She goes ah it's fine

I go is it Is it really fine What did she feed them Like the bar Fruit or just Was it mini bar She fed Half a sandwich

Like a Snickers bar Anything Mini bar The monkey's mini bar So now it's like Fat snickers bar anything mini bar the monkeys mini bus there's like fat monkeys right they're addicted to snickers yeah really expensive stuff at the end you're getting the mini bar exorbitant prices plus they can see so they've tacked a monkey tax on there monkey fine yeah monkey fine i had a conversation with you about this like you said about monkeys no no about dogs in Thailand

oh yeah and I said back in Malaysia there's like dogs there's dogs everywhere and you like you don't like you can't feed them because it encourages like you're not supposed

to encourage them it's like pigeons yeah there's too many but you go to Thailand you just go nuts I love it but I love dogs

and then they're just everywhere because they don't sort of have any social skills I think the dogs over here over there they're like they because they don't sort of have any social skills. I think the dogs over here, over there, they're like, they just lie in the middle of the road

and they don't have any particular social skills. They don't have any social skills. They don't. Well, they have the same. Sorry, they're not as good as the Western dogs like your mate Clifford that you're always hanging out with. Yeah, the one that's tweeting all the time. They have the same relaxed attitude to health and safety

that people generally do in Thailand yeah you know like you'll see bamboo scaffolding on a 30 story building in Thailand

because that's the awesome low hanging power lines that's how you know you're in Thailand that's awesome but you do it yourself

while you're there you get to Thailand and you hire a moped and you ride it without a helmet and you're in a single with your girlfriend on the back. I don't do that. I've seen you.

I've walked around the streets with you when we've come across dogs. I remember the first time I saw it was in Brisbane. You have a very weird way of approaching dogs that I would say is not the norm. I'd certainly never seen it done before. You go out and you put the hand out for a sniff, which is common, but then you do a bit of these ones. You do a bit of that gear. Now, I always thought that was reserved exclusively

for cats. I'd never seen someone do that to a dog before. Do the little kissy lips to a dog. Anyone ever seen that before? Kel does a bit of that as well. My fiancée, Kel, yeah. She does a bit of... It's just more my sheltered existence. A bit of talk to the animals. I don't do it in Thailand. Yeah, because those Thailand dogs are just like... Well, it's just more my sheltered existence talk to the animals I don't do it in Thailand but yeah

because those Thailand dogs are just like well it's a different language over there yeah it's that thing take your shoes off before you go inside

and don't kiss the dogs and you don't be racist and do it with a Thai accent oh what a minefield what I wanted to start talking about before is Limo have you seen the Ronnie Ronnie's new business enterprise Oh, what a minefield. What I wanted to start talking about before is,

Limo, have you seen Ronnie's new business enterprise, his new sponsorship, his new – he's the face. Actually, I have. Someone showed me this the other day. Of Singtow Beer. Hammo, Justin Hamilton, I think he'd taken a photo and sent it to you. Right, right. And he showed me the picture.

Right. And I have to admit, embarrassingly, he showed me the picture. No, he showed me the picture. And I went, fuck, that looks like Ronnie Jack. And he goes, that is Ronnie Jack. I'm like, oh, wow. That's cool. Yeah, that's cool.

Because you're in an ad for them. But not only that, you're on the side're on the like you're in an ad for them but not only that you're on the side of a slab which I like oh are you because you I've seen billboards and stuff like that

like smaller posters and stuff like that right you Ronnie Chang's the face of Tsingtao beer Tsingtao oh sorry

Tsingtao Tsingtao which is the whole point of the ad the face and the pronunciation the pronunciation yeah

so that was the ad it's like me pronouncing it correctly. Yeah, for five minutes. I've ignored all of that. It's Qingdao. It's Qingdao. Yeah, it's cool. It's just an ad though.

It's cool that people recognize it. But it's like, I mean, you guys have all, you've done ads. Like it's an ad. I haven't. Okay, you haven't done it. Oh, Tommy's done an ad.

Tommy did the Commonwealth Bank one. Yeah, that's true. And I guess it's weird because I consider like like doing comedy on television was

I thought was a big deal but people are making a bigger deal about this beer ad than the fact that I've done comedy on television

yeah I mean to the lay people to the non-comedians so what sort of reaction are you getting from people oh it's cool

everyone messaging me I'm glad no one's been like because I think people are a bit afraid to be racist. Like, hey, this guy looks like you. Ha ha ha ha.

I'm like, yeah, that is me. But no one's done that. Everyone's been really cool. You're encouraging people to be racist. By going, that's not me, man. Yeah, it's been cool. People have been saying good things.

I guess people, like if they see the post, they're like, oh, hey, that's my friend. It just is great that they've gotten you as a sponsor because you are one. I guess people, like if they see the post, they're like, oh yeah, it's my friend. It just is great that they've gotten you as a sponsor because you are one.

I'm not the sponsor. You're one of the great piss heads that we know. I mean, I think alcohol and comedy. You know, some people think Lawrence Mooney

or Nick Cody. Nah, Ronnie Chang. You weren't even booked for this podcast. We saw you in the gutter on the walkway outside this house,

dragged you in. We're trying to soberway outside this house, dragged you in. We're trying to sober you up. Surrounded by empty bottles of gin and towel. That's it. Did I get that? You go right. You are not known for your consumption of alcohol and you are the face of this beer.

Now, a tiny little snapshot of that to back me up would be a year ago, nearly a year ago in the Comedy Festival, one night I did my show. You were nice enough to come along and watch it. I think you and Josh Earl and a couple of other friends. Yeah, it was great.

After the show, oh, that's all I wanted to hear. Next story. Next story. So we went out. I had a gig, a late night gig at the Hi-Fi Bar

and I said, oh, I've got, you know, like 40 minutes to kill. What are we going to do? Let's go and get a drink. You said, I know just the place. Follow me. You've got to come to this place. You've got to go to this place. So we went round. We went in the Rabbit Warrens that is the Melbourne, you know, alley sort of way of doing things. I'd never have stumbled across this bar. We followed you all the way through. We went in there. It's this tiny little bar that could fit like about seven, eight people

standing up typical Melbourne in an alley in an alley I'll show you where it is super cool yeah like it or leave it you fucking tourists

super cool so we get in there you know I've got half an hour to kill or something we get in there and it's super cool in that even you know there's only

I think three or four drinks that you can even order and I'm like I'm looking at all of them and I don't even know what any of them are. It's like, oh, Wobbsleberry juice. Oh, good one. Wobbsleberry juice.

But I didn't know any of them. So I'm like... Solid improv. I'm like, can I get... You've come up with a drink that'd be on Harry Potter. Sign the drink at Gryffindor. I ran through alley 11 and a half and I turned into this bar.

So I get in there and it's that and they're like $18 drinks or whatever I'm like oh okay can I just get a beer and they're like no this is what we you're in this

you know this is what you get I'm like oh okay so I get this $18 drink and it's this glass and it's this huge ice block it's like a 6 inch ice block like that and it's stuck in the middle

of the thing I go okay well this is what I'm doing it's $18 drink of some spirit I've never heard of. I don't know what it is. Okay. And I turn around and look at Ronnie and go,

so what are you getting? And he's like, oh, I don't drink. After all that, yeah. I've been letting down drinking an $18 ice block, and Ronnie's just sitting there going, have you got any orange juice? And they're like, yeah, here's one. No, no, hang on a second.

First of all, that bar you just described is called Bar Americano. It's a great bar. Oh, how much bucks are you getting off this one? And they do hand-pressed orange juice for five bucks. So that's why I had the orange juice

because it's hand-squeezed. And also, if you go to Bar Americano in Melbourne, tell them Ronnie sent you because you won't get anything from it. But next time I go there, I might get a free orange juice.

What are they going to suck chinked out? Yeah, I don't know, man. It's a conflict of interest, isn't it? We should be building a Ronny Chieng profile across this podcast. We've got buckwheat pillows. Oh, yeah. Hand-squeezed orange juice.

No, hey, this is my thing. I'm going to start a website where I review consumer goods. I'm just going to recommend the best. I'm serious. I'm just going to recommend like backpack. I don't say backpacks I say backpack one backpack

what phone to use what internet plan to use what bar to go to oh yeah you fixed up Carl's no I haven't I drafted the email for him to send

he didn't even send it I actually drafted the email for him to get a new internet internet plan is horrible and I was like to get into the bar no no

internet provider he fixed my I've got to get into the bar no no internet provider he fixed my I've got a bad plan I'm with Telstra yeah I'll put it out there if they want to fix up my

account for me they can do that look it's just bad in that it's not very much it's not value for money I wrote him a I helped him draft

the email to send to various ISPs to get he didn't even send it I drafted it for him he drafted it with my computer why didn't you sendPs. He didn't even send it. I drafted it for him. He drafted it with my computer. Why didn't you send it?

Yeah, why didn't you send it? I just didn't want to cause trouble. It's the worst deal. Well, it's because of you that we have any kind of web presence for this podcast at all. Oh, you have a web presence? We've gotten our website since the last time Ronnie was on. It took three years of you berating us and it's all because of you, buddy. Is it actually on now? Yeah, it's up. It's buddy is it actually on now yeah it's up it's up

it works it works great I remember I remember when a year like you launched it on the live podcast in Brisbane

when I was there you launched it and then it didn't get launched no you launched it and then Carl was like are you sure we're launching this like it's not even done

and you're like no no it's done it's done we're launching it it's been done for a while now we're getting the stats it's all good it's all good buddy

and that's all down to you. And so have you set up this reviewing consumer goods? No, it'll be on my website. You haven't put it up yet? No, not yet. Well, get a website. I have a website. How long have you been waiting for that?

I'm going to call it the best on the planet. The best on the planet. What about, I see you wearing a watch there because I recently bought a watch. So I'm interested to see what you... Well, thank you for bringing this up.

Because no doubt you got it for free. I didn't get it for free but I spent a couple months researching the best watch for my profile. I needed something

that was active but not too expensive. What? No, I'm serious. Like I said, I don't have a lot. I can buy a Rolex, but I don't want to buy like a $10 watch. I was looking for that price range

of like $100 to $250. That price range. What do you call it? Early 20s price range. So your thinking is when you come out on stage, people go, look at that watch. This guy must be good. No, it's just a...

This is the first watch I ever bought with my own cash. Oh, yeah? Yeah, it was like a big deal. I was like, man, I'm going to buy my own watch now. Whose cash were you using before that? Before that, you know, like people... You know, your parents buy your watch. Like, I don't know.

One of these people on the streets who comes up and gives Limo a sandwich. Were they giving you watches? Gave me a watch as well, yeah. You know what they say? Never accept the watches from strangers. Time will be all wrong. This isn't a deal for you guys?

You remember buying your first watch? You don't care about that? You know what? I have a really clear memory of my watch? You don't care about that? You know what? I have a really clear memory of my first watch. Yeah, there you go. My parents, and I lived in country South Australia, right? And my parents were going on a holiday to Hong Kong. And I somehow got a brochure, a Seiko brochure.

Yeah. And I picked out a watch. I want to hear more about this mysterious brochure. Was it a young Ronnie Chang just riding by going, Hey, Limoimo The best watch He did the voice And I picked out this watch And they bought it for me

And it freaked me out It had like All these buttons across the bottom And buttons around It had a timer Do you still have it? It's crazy I wish I'd kept it

But I wore it for about 10 years I loved that watch I've got a watch that was waterproof to 100 metres which was one of the first jokes I ever did as a stand up there you go

which was related back to the watch it's a great joke what's the joke? the joke was I got a watch that's waterproof to 100 metres and I say thank god for that

because my old watch was only waterproof to 50 metres and you know it used to be really inconvenient the doctor when he was saying and I say thank God for that because my old watch was only waterproof to 50 metres. And, you know, it used to be really inconvenient to the doctor when he was saying, yeah, he'd be saying,

oh, what's good? I'd have a caved-in skull and a burst lung. So what's the problem? I'd go, oh, no, but I can tell you what time it happened. I've never been one for your bigger style of watches.

I'm always just liking your small swatches but do you remember your first watch you bought yeah sure yourself you do yeah was it a special thing or not

this one this was the first watch you bought actually no you know what I bought this is like the third version of this watch I've owned because I kept losing them so this is like

but I really like it so I've bought so I mean these watches are like 90 bucks a pop but now I'm sitting on like 270 bucks. Yeah. It's cost me for the one watch. I've got a really nice watch that I got from a previous girlfriend.

Yeah. And it's been inscribed underneath it. Yeah, so I'm sort of... I think I shouldn't wear it, so I don't wear it, even though I really like the watch. But I'm like, oh, that's... Is that wrong? I think that's...

What's the inscription? That was great anal. Yeah, and I inscribed it. Here's a gift for you, honey. No, I'm keeping this. I don't know what it's inscribed with. Something like, never wear this when we break up ever again. No, I don't keeping this I don't know what it's inscribed with something like never wear this

when we break up ever again no I don't know I don't know it's you know it's you know I'm even too sort of scared

to look at it I don't want to really look at it and does your girlfriend know that it's from a previous partner like if you wore it around would she be like

oh you're wearing a fur watch she'll certainly ask where it came from yeah but no it just sort of sits there in a box, and I'm like, oh. I really like it.

Yeah. I don't know whether to scrub that out, if that's a thing, or whether... You know what? It's inscribed underneath the watch, so it's never... You're not looking at it.

No one's ever going to see it. But I still think it's a bit relationship haunted. Whoa. I didn't think you were a super serious guy. I think, yeah, anything that reminds you of

a thing that you don't want to be reminded of. I've had that when ex-girlfriends have bought items of clothing

and then you break up and you go, this feels a bit weird to wear this around now. I've been too worried about

clothes. I've got jewellery though as well. I've got a really cool ring from a girl I sang. Anyone?

Anyone? No, I thought I'd give anyone else a go. You're going to say a cool ring from a girl I sang which I kind of like anyone I thought I'd give anyone else a go you're going to say a cool ring you got sent on breakfast radio like someone sent you oh yeah

so what are you going to you know then you've got to get rid of the watch like you can't wear it the more you wear the watch you'll stop thinking about the girl

yeah see if you just look at it in the cupboard and go I don't know if you wear it every day you'll stop thinking about it I've known you too long I'm used to you being a no oh. I don't know. If you wear it every day, you'll stop thinking about it. I've known you too long.

I'm used to you being a no-watch guy. I don't think I could handle you suddenly wearing a watch. It'd be too much for me to take on. It'd be too annoying to look at that wrist every day. Think about what used to be. How I used to be able to see that little bit of hair that I can't see anymore. How do you know how long you've been on stage if you don't wear a watch? That's a good question.

The loudness of the booze when that's deafening it's like okay it's time to go I didn't have a watch for

about nine months and it was a pain in the ass it really annoyed the shit out of me and

sometimes I would either make sure I got lights like a flashing light or I just pull my phone out and

check them I sometimes will look at my watch yeah I think I'm reasonably I must be you know I've gotten away with it this far I think I'm a reasonable out and check them. I sometimes will look at my watch. Because I'm a shithouse judge. Yeah, I think I'm reasonably, I must be, you know, I've gotten away with it this far. I think I'm a reasonable judge and I think because I do shorter jokes. Like, to do overtime means you have to do a lot of jokes.

So I think I'm pretty fine. You feel it in your gut? Is that what you're saying? That's cool. I didn't say that. I sometimes check my watch on stage to think, like, oh, how long have I been on it? And I'll look at it and go, well, I didn't look at this when I walked on it. So I don't know that. I sometimes check my watch on stage to think like, oh, how long have I been on it? And I'll look at it and go,

well, I didn't look at this when I walked on. So I don't know what this means. Yes. Exactly. Could have been five. It could have been 20. Who knows? When there's a venue that's got a clock,

that's what I do every time. Yeah. Yeah. Just walk on and go half way through and go, 8.30, good information to know. What day is it? Yeah. Right.

Yeah. Tough going. So back to Qingdao. All right. Yeah. Tough going. So back to Qingdao. Qingdao, yeah. Qingdao. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Qingdao. I think you... How many... How would you describe the flavor on it?

It's actually... It's light. I actually like it. Qingdao beer is actually... Have you tasted one yet? Yeah, I have. Yeah. It's good.

Have you tasted two yet? Yeah, yeah. How many have you tasted two yet yeah yeah how many have you had man they they when when we were filming the ad there was so much jingtao around like it was do you have you got a deal do you get like a month or something no no no i don't i wouldn't i wouldn't be able to drink that much anyway yeah but you've got friends though ronnie yeah that's why everyone yeah actually that's the one thing not everyone no one has asked me for beer i could be drinking it i could be drinking it in bed. Ronnie turned up to this podcast on a pallet mover.

That's why it was a little bit late, just slowly going down the street. I could be drinking it in bed with this sweet memory pillow, and the next day the memory pillow would remind me of the sweet time I was drinking free beer in bed, thanks to Ronnie Chang. And then you had that waterproof covering so you can just pee. You don't have to get out of bed, just pee. The way you've talked about this pillow a number of times suggests to me that you have no idea what they mean when they say memory foam.

No. You don't get it at all. So it's not, it's not, Carl, it's not a pillow that, like, it's not a dream catcher style pillow. When it says memory foam, it means it molds to your head over time. So it's like more comfortable. It's like a personalised thing. I'm not taking this from your house at all.

I wonder if a memory pillow's ever bought anyone undone who's cheated on a partner. Why? And the partner gets home and goes, it's remembered a different head. Yeah. Who walks in and goes, that's not my head print. But then they've got The shape of the head

To be able to find the person Yeah OJ Simpson style If the head If the head doesn't fit If the pillow don't fit You must acquit Yeah

There would be I mean there would be Enough like kind of Suspicious Kind of jealous partners Or people in general Out there That I reckon would definitely

Someone would have been Accused of that The old memory foam You know Man that would be a weird court case exhibit A it doesn't go to court

if you just cheat on your wife that's the divorce trial oh yeah okay it starts with a memory foam it was a mold off his head I could definitely see Judge Judy pulling out a memory pillow

yeah that'd happen yeah actually I think memory pillows pop back they yeah I don't think

it's like buckwheat pillows keep them ah okay so it'll think it's like... I think buckwheat pillows keep the... Ah, okay. So it'll be running, zangling for a buckwheat pillow. Buckwheat pillow dreams. This particularness, this reminds me of something that you said before we started recording and I wanted to know more about. We started talking about Monopoly, the game,

and you started being very particular about it and then said that you used to be a fanatic. Yeah, I used to play competitively. You used to play competitively for money no just for honor right it was good that's actually because my first start playing like kids you go oh this is just a game of luck whatever and then you go man there's actually a lot of stuff within your control here like you like you want to buy the Reds the red areas like near the red you know where the Kentucky and what was the other one? Yeah, like Trafalgar Square. Trafalgar Square is green.

It's green. Trafalgar Square is green. Trafalgar Square is green. This is exactly how the conversation before the podcast started as well. Oh, no, it could be red. It could be red. I'm sorry. I thought Trafalgar Square was red.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm not sure. Yeah, but either way, because that's the most landed property. So you want to get that. Why is it? Yeah, you want to get around that zone. That's rule one of Monopoly Club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And rule two is when you make a property. So you want to get that. Why is it? Yeah, you want to get around that zone. That's rule one of Monopoly Club. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And rule two is when you make a trade, so you've got to trade for property. A lot of people, we play no trades because you're just too scared to give someone, you're scared you're going to make them win. But you have to propose a trade that if you reverse the terms, you would accept yourself.

I didn't even know you could trade in Monopoly. Yeah, you're supposed to trade so you can get properties, all colors, so you can get hotels. It's a free market. Yeah, it's a free market. Oh, yeah. It's fun to play dirty in Monopoly. Yeah, you're supposed to trade so you can get properties, all kinds of, you can get hotels. It's a free market. Yeah, it's a free market. It's fun to play dirty in Monopoly and just invent your own terms and go,

I'll give you that, but you've got to promise me when I land on it, you don't charge me. Oh, man, I've never played Monopoly like this. I've been very by the book. Man, just Monopoly by definition, just generally not the game Monopoly plays. You don't get to have a Monopoly

unless you're a fucking arsehole. Hey, Ronnie, what would you say if you were playing Monopoly with someone and they wanted to play with real money to make it more interesting? No, I don't gamble with money. Oh, really? Oh, okay. Because you're so competitive, have you ever won first place in a beauty pageant?

Actually, if you're really competitive, there are guys who memorize the order of the chance cards. And then you know what's going to come. But if you've got card counters in Monopoly. Yeah, you can card count. But it's minimal. I mean, the effect is minimal. But you can card.

Because you're not supposed to shuffle the chance cards. Oh, man. I never knew there was that much in it. Yeah, but there you go. Any other board games you're fanatical about? Yeah, but then after you play Monopoly, then I came in university. I got introduced to Catan.

You know? Or Catan. How do you pronounce it I don't know C-A-T-A oh yeah that's like the gateway you know that that's like the gateway drug to all board games you start playing that after you play Risk and Monopoly I've never played it but I've heard yeah I know some people who are pretty fanatic about it Bart Freebane's a fanatic about that Claire Hooper plays a lot of board games oh yeah yeah but this is interesting you brought that up because I've been meaning to talk to and I mean Limbo you hang around a lot of

athletes as well and so this thing about being competitive, like, I think when I was a little bit younger, like early 20s, I used to be like, I used to think

that being competitive was like a virtue and now I realize that if you're not in professional sports, if you're hyper competitive, you're just a piece of shit. Like,

professional sports is the only area where being hyper competitive is seen as like a good thing like oh this guy he's really competitive he doesn't like losing he's a winner

but in any other walk of life if you're like that you're just a piece of shit I think it does breed success though because I don't I've never had that about me which is why I'm not that great at sports

because I just I just don't care and I like I realize with comedy like there's guys that I know that are like every gig they be on

they just want to crush it and they just want no one they just want to leave a trail of destruction I realise with comedy, there's guys that I know that are like, every gig they be on, they just want to crush it and they just want no one. They just want to leave a trail of destruction in the way. Whereas I'm just always like, I just want all of us to do well. I don't have that part of me where I want to just decimate the gig for everyone else. Yeah, I've been starting to work this out of me because I think it's an undesirable trait. Well, if you're a professional athlete, it's a job and you do it for money. Yeah. Right?

But if it's not your job, then you should be doing it for fun. Right. And if someone's too competitive, they're an arsehole. Exactly. Like you've got people who start nitpicking rules. Yeah. When you're trying to have fun with a game. Yeah, yeah.

They go, oh, no. Rule 2B. Pass up paragraph. Say we'll get the rules out. It's like, fuck, you just ruined it. I don't want to play anymore. Well, you know, like you worked on A League of Their Own. I worked behind the scenes on A League of Their Own on Channel 10 last year.

And, you know, there were athletes involved in that. And it's not, you know, it's just a silly game show on TV. And the professional athletes, they were going crazy. They were, you know, cheating. But they'd be cheating behind the scenes. Yeah. Like what? To actually win.

Like, there'd be quiz questions. And they would be cheating behind the scenes to actually win. There'd be quiz questions and they would get a sniff of what the question was and they'd be Googling it. Cheating, Googling to find the answers so they could win. Competitive athletes. Let's count right now the number of people who care who wins a fucking television game. There's zero prize. It's not like Sale of the Century.

It's a zero prize. Yeah. You're not winning memory foam pillows. There's absolutely nothing. It's not going on anyone's bio. Yeah.

Right. So do you think you're becoming less competitive? I think I had to work out because I had a really bad experience playing with a Logie.

How do you pronounce the word? You're playing with a Logie. No, Lunig. I was playing playing with a Logie no not Lunig no no no not Lunig he is super competitive with the amount of

ducks he can draw I was playing with a Logie award winning actor I was playing basketball with him and he was just a piece of crap

and it kind of put a mirror to me going well I don't want to be this person he was just being like too competitive Burt Newton is a legend it wasn't Burt Newton it was some other guy and we were kind of put a mirror to me going, well, I don't want to be this person. He was just being like, too competitive.

Bert Newton is a legend. Okay. It wasn't Bert Newton. It was some other guy. Asher Keddie. No, no, it's Asher Keddie.

It was, we were playing and, it was Melbourne Comedy Festival last year. We got all the guys down to play. We made the mistake of tweeting, hey everybody, come down to RMIT to play basketball. If you're around, we're playing.

And this guy shows up and I thought he was friends of the other guys, but he's not. He just saw the tweet. He's an actor. He shows up. But that was and this guy shows up and I thought he was friends of the other guys but he's not he just saw the tweet he's an actor he shows up but that was fine

like showing up that's the whole point of tweeting that's like him trying to be like Bill Murray just showing up I mean that's why we tweeted showing up was fine

it was just that he showed up to play but then we had guys who were playing who didn't really play basketball you know they were like double dribbling

and they were like shooting weird and so we had that situation going on and then we had this guy who was just being like elbows out

hyper competitive yelling like let me give you at the end of the game we beat him and he screamed I hate losing

and he was like screaming yeah and we just left the court like this is ridiculous well I have no questions oh no hang on what's his name

yeah I know I can't tell I was about to say this is something really annoying for everyone listening Ronnie's not going to say his name while I know I can't tell I was about to say There's something really annoying For everyone listening Yeah Ronnie's not going to say his name

While we're recording Yeah What's he been in I can't tell I'm not going to You're even going to give us The end of what they've been in I'm not going to give

He's on Australian television Got it I got it Lately Lately Yeah So recent Gold Logie winners When we finish recording

We'll play the fun game Of guessing Yeah well I'll tell you guys. Is he in Underbelly? I don't know. I don't know if he's in there. You're going to tell us after this, and then when I edit it, I'm going to end up saying it Mr. Black style from The Simpsons.

I reckon he's in Underbelly. I don't know. I think you do know. No, I don't. I actually don't know if he's in Underbelly. I know who I'm going to guess, but I'm going to wait for it. Oh, really? Let's see afterwards, yeah.

You can't squeeze this on me now. And also, you know, by the time people listen to this, we know. You know what I mean? You're listening to this in the future from now, and when we're recording this, we don't know. Wow. Yeah, it's really draining. It's really squeezing the tension out of this story.

Like, everyone at home at the moment is going, I wish I knew who the competitive basketballer was. People are fast forwarding over this bit. What we say now is irrelevant. We can slag off whoever we want. Put some racial views out there. I guess when you're playing sports, it's like if you don't have skill,

you'll compensate for that by trying to think like a winner. Like I'm just not going to lose. I try to be, that's your edge because you don't have the ability to win. I'm speaking for myself here. because i can see you i enjoy that i so like to play a bit of golf yeah right i'm not particularly good at it sure but i love playing with people who are super competitive because ultimately you're only really playing when you play golf like i do you're only ever really playing yourself right you have little

games with each other but yeah fucking whatever but I love seeing people lose it on the golf course. It makes me laugh a lot out loud, which sometimes annoys them and sometimes they get into the joke as well. But people throwing sticks, I find hilarious. What silver Logie winner did that? Ugly Dave Gray. You were playing 18 holes with him and he said, you blanking piece of blank. Well, Carl, I can see this resonating with you because you're in an indoor soccer team that I think we talked about recently.

Because you're really, really into your soccer. Yes. So you'd be the most competitive one on the team. Is that fair to say? Oh, yes. Yeah. That's true. So last week we played and there was another comic that sort of turned up halfway through

the half and sort of wandered on. And then I'm playing in defence at that point and no one's sort of picking up the men around me. And this guy sort of wandered on and sort of just, I went, man, you've got to pick someone up. So he wandered over to me. I'm like, don't mark me, idiot. Mark one of these guys. And he turned around and went, man, I'm just here for fun. Don't tell me over to me. And I'm like, don't mark me, idiot. Mark one of these guys.

And he turned around and went, man, I'm just here for fun. Don't tell me what to do. I'm like, what are you talking about? We're playing. We're going to win. What's more fun? Getting shit on. So you're the arsehole.

Yes. For sure. I can confirm that. Who's the comedian? He was in Underbelly. Imagine if it's the same guy. It's pretty funny that I heard that after you did that, you actually won. Yes.

I think we were like 6-2 down. We drew 6-0. Right, right, right. That's incredible. Because you play soccer and we've got a message going on Facebook between about 10, 12 of us or something. We included you in it because I know you play soccer. I've played with you before and you're a good player. So I went, well, let's get Ronnie involved.

Yeah, thank you. Thank you for inviting me. And then your response was, so what's this all about? Is it people talking trash on the field? And we were sort of like, not really, probably only me. And you're like, I can't play that. I don't need to be around negative influences this year. He's paraphrasing.

You're paraphrasing greatly. I said, when you play your indoor soccer, are the opponents friendly or do they get into fights a lot? And then you said, they're okay. And I said, I can't get into fights with other players. I'm just trying to be more positive. It's a conflict of interest because Ronnie's on the Bar Americano indoor soccer team.

You're drafted to play them in a few weeks. But that blew me away. You said you can't have, you want to have like a peaceful 2014. You don't want to have any bad negative energies. Yeah, I don't want negative energy. But just playing sport. You can't advertise Qingdao

and be getting into fights. It's bad for the brand. Well, that's all positive. Supporting Qingdao, just something that's going to get people drunk and fight each other. and they're getting into fights. It's bad for the brand. That's all positive, supporting Ching Dao. It's something that's going to get people drunk and fight each other. You're the face of that. You're responsible for that now. So that's all or nothing.

Just go all the way now. You've personally caused many deaths already this year right there. Jesus. Is it a New Year's resolution of yours to be more positive this year? Yeah, be more positive. Have more positive energy. I think I got away from that To be more positive this year? Yeah, yeah. Be more positive. Have more positive energy.

I think I got away from that last year. Every year? The negative influences? Yeah, yeah. I feel like every year I have this resolution. So I don't know what happened. But this year, yeah, I'm just trying to, you know, because I go play street, pick up basketball a lot in Melbourne and it gets really chippy and I get drawn into that.

I hate myself for getting drawn into that. So now I'm just trying to be like, just like water just bounces off. I can get down with that. That's not my analogy. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I can't go to indoor soccer where people are really shippy and rough and I just,

I don't want to be around that environment. Yeah. Not that that's what's happening. I'm just saying I don't want to be around that. I think I'd be the worst there. Okay, then that's fine then. I sort of did lose my rag last week. I'm not great with sports.

I'm not amazed, with soccer especially, because I care. And you're surrounded by people that, you know, some of them aren't quite as, have the background of you. So I'm trying to... The most diplomatic you've ever been. And the referee was sort of not doing his job, I thought. And I responded by calling him Martin Bryant,

because he looked like Tasmania's worst serial killer. Martin Bryant. I mean, it seems like a fair comparison. You caught a referee, a serial killer. Yeah. I like that your player, coach, and like soccer mum all rolled into one. Yeah, yeah.

On the field. Oh, man. I was so excited just to start playing again because I haven't played for a while. And how did he take that? Did he get... No, he didn't like me. Can you get

suspended? For comparing the ref to a serial killer? Is that a cardable offence? You can get carded, yeah.

He definitely didn't like that. Then he followed him to the car park. I get lippy. I used to have a terrible temper

as a kid. I'm much better now. I get a bit lippy sometimes at Bikram Yoga. What? Nice breathing bucket! Bikram Yoga. What? Nice breathing, fuck it!

Bikram Yoga. I fell into that. I think the only place I really get angry is a car park, shopping centre car park. Oh, yeah. Yeah, too many cars around, losing a ticket. You ever done that? You ever lost your ticket when you're at the thing where you put it in

and there's cars behind you? No, never done that. That's the worst idea. How do you get out of that? You just have to get out and get everyone who's behind you to back it up so you can reverse and then go yep not good stuff when you forget to do your ticket yeah so you know you've forgotten to pay or you've lost it no that's annoying what a sad ending so do you back out and then get a new ticket i like this hasn't happened for a while it's happened to me like twice where i've had So do you back out and then get a new ticket? This hasn't happened for a while.

It's happened to me like twice where I've had to get out and you have to go to everyone. Sorry, guys. Can we just reverse it here? If there's like three behind you. I've got an idea for Australian cars and traffic and car parking. Please. You know that?

A Qingdao. Qingdao flavored. You know that e-tag you put when you go on the highway to pay for the highway? A Qingdao holder. Qingdao flavored. You should, you should, you know that e-tag you put when you go on the highway to pay for the highway? Yes.

Man, just make every car park, just pay using that. That's great. That is a great idea. Pay using that. Every car, almost every car has that already.

You know, you don't have to implement a new system. Yeah. Implement a reader. That's it. That's how we do it in Singapore. Man,

why are you saying this on a podcast? I know, I know. Jesus. That is a good idea. Yeah, and you just drive through. Just that's how we do it in Singapore why are you saying this on a podcast Paul I know Jesus that is a good idea and you just drive through they do that in Singapore so when you said

I've got an idea what you mean is the government of another country has an idea that I've ripped are we going to get more ways to use

our Mikey cars to pay for things or is this it well even that barely works as it is why would it it's for one thing why should it be Well, even that barely works as it is. Why would it,

it's for one thing, why should it be for other things? You don't look at your fridge and go, when's this going to cook a chicken? But you should have one card.

Mind you, pay wave scares me. I've started using it now because it's so easy. That's like, that's too, you've just taken money too easily.

Did you go, when you first heard of it, did you go, I'm not getting that? I said never. Yeah. And then they gave it to you. Am I using pay wave ever? Yeah. But I'm such, did you go, I'm not getting that? I said never. Yeah. Never. Am I using PayWay ever?

Yeah. But I'm such an impatient asshole sometimes. I'm like, ah. I'd like to use it more. I'm with you. I'm exactly the same. I'd like to use it more, but it is a real example of one of those technologies that they trot out just before it's quite ready.

So every time I go to use it, it's like I get the error three times in a run and they're like, you're just going to have to put that in. So it's like, this has now taken longer than it would have taken originally if i just swiped the card to begin with right right it's like there's like certain places that the next time i'll arrange a cashier's check i'm all over the cash i'm a cash carrier oh yeah yeah yeah better get robbed i love cash as well and you're crazy to spend cash on things like this. When you can use your card, use your card, you keep your cash stocks. What do you mean?

Well, you hang on to your cash. Yeah. So if I've got a pocket full of cash, I'm not going to spend it on something I can pay for with my card. Why not? Because. Because I want to keep the cash. For situations when. But you still have the card anyway though.

For situations when you need it. Oh, okay. Sure. Okay. but what you're forgetting is that Carl doesn't pay any tax on that paper trail for Mr Chandler

shout out to the ATO who are listening in right now that's not cool I introduced you to my accountant I told you

I sent you did you after the email and everything I did I actually did I actually did did you contact my account? Yeah.

Okay. He also tried to introduce me to a future wife in Singapore. See, this is a great spin-off podcast. Just Ronnie sitting and berating you about things he's told you to do that you haven't done yet. No, it's a reality show where Ronnie tries to fix my life. I'm like the block in human form. The chand actually you know

what I can see is like you know Moira on one of the morning TV shows oh yeah yeah yeah instead of Moira it's just what does Ronnie recommend

yeah and they go to Ronnie yeah I'm trying to what Ronnie reckons yeah what do you reckon Ronnie what do you reckon Ronnie yeah give us a quick one

now just to send us off because we're near the end what do you reckon Ronnie oh yeah drink Qingdao. It's a pretty good beverage. Always drink responsibly. Well, guys, that is just about all the time we have for this week on The Little Dum Dum Club.

Ronnie Chang, Limo, thank you very much for joining us. You've both got festival shows coming up in the Melbourne Comedy Festival and others. That is true. I'm doing just Melbourne. Three shows only. Get in quick. What's it called? It's called Limo. And he's not just saying that. It actually true. I'm doing just Melbourne, three shows only, get in quick. What's it called? It's called Limo.

And he's not just saying that, he actually is. It's got four O's and three exclamation marks. And I helped design your poster and there was an actual conversation where it was like, can you just whack in another O? I've spell checked it. There's only six O's in Limo in this one. I really want to emphasise the Limo. And then in brackets, get involved.

So get involved. Excellent. So that's on Mondays at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. At Town Hall, yep. Tickets are on sale now, I believe. I've seen the link for that. Yes, yes, yes, through Ticketmaster. Roddy, you've got the Chang Reaction, your new show.

Chang Reaction. Oh, I didn't know the name. The Chang Reaction. Chang Reaction, yeah. Thanks, Anne Edmonds, for coming up with that. Oh, right. I didn't know it was a competition. No, it was no competition.

Can I go for one next year? Yeah, sure. What have you got? Sing Chang? Ching Tao. Ching Tao. I like the one, the big Chang Theory.

The big Chang Theory? Yeah, okay, good. I have to say, I like Chang Reaction, but I did prefer your alternate title, which you told me, which was...

Why Are You Still Here? Yeah. That's really funny. I like Why Are You Still Here. Maybe next year what about Wu Chang Clan Wu Chang Clan that might be next year

2015 what about Chango so that's it I presume all of Brisbane Brisbane Melbourne

Melbourne City Perth yeah no Perth sorry no Perth sorry Perth Melbourne no Adelaide

sorry Adelaide Brisbane Brisbane Melbourne Ronnie Chang.com for all those details yeah our tickets are available No, not Perth. Sorry. No Perth. Sorry, Perth. No Adelaide. Melbourne. No Adelaide. Sorry, Adelaide. Brisbane, Melbourne. RonnieChang.com for all those details. Yeah, yeah. Our ticket's available now. Guys, we've got our live podcast for both Melbourne and Brisbane on sale now. Brisbane, Saturday afternoon, 4pm on March the 8th.

That's at 4pm at the Southside Tea Rooms. Yes. Straight after that, I'm doing my first performance of Carl Chandler's Got Talent at $5.38. It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. You can watch the live podcast and you can choose Team Chandler or then you can follow little Tommy Daslow

out to the Powerhouse. Yeah, you can say that. I reckon there's time to do both. I reckon people could do both. I can do it. You're $5.30, I'm $7.00. I can make that. I have no idea where

the Southside Tea Rooms is in relation to the Brisbane Powerhouse. It's about an hour away. Okay.30, I'm 7. I can make that. I have no idea where the Southside Tea Rooms is in relation to the Brisbane Powerhouse. You can spend an hour away. Okay. No chance. Pick one. I have no idea. Leave half an hour early or come in half an hour late.

It is up to you guys. Can people purchase like an all-day pass? Like the Dum Dum Club pass and just get all three tickets? People can get like Wet n' Wild style. They can get a three-pack super pass. So they go podcast, podcast my show Kyle's show and then their favourite one they get to go back to again

no no I'm serious can they do that you don't know yet probably not we haven't organised it it's pretty hard to do because it's all different really I don't think it's that

yeah we don't need to get into this so you can actually do that you can do that 4pm the live podcast in Brisbane special awesome guest that we've already got confirmed 5.30 my show Kyle's channel's got talent and then we've already got confirmed. 5.30, my show, Carl Chandler's Got Talent.

And then 7pm on that night is Tommy Dash's Dreamboat. My show, Dreamboat, which is on at the Powerhouse from March 4th till the 9th. Brisbane Powerhouse website for tickets to that. Guys, thank you very much for listening. Let's bike Melbourne. Let's bike Melbourne a bit more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Melbourne podcasts are on sale as well.

Every Sunday afternoon at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, we on at I think what 4 or 5pm. It's on the website. Yep. It's on the website and get on the website to get tickets or a season pass. We do have season passes

for that. Yep. For all four or five shows including the drunk cast on the last Sunday night of the Comedy Festival. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for all that.

And our individual shows in Melbourne as well which I don't think either of them are on sale. On sale soon. Any second now. Yeah. Excellent.

Guys, thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mate.