The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 177 - Oliver Clark & Danny McGinlay

Episode Date: February 26, 2014

Doggy Style, Head Massages and The RACV Club.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, welcome into the little dum-dum club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo, sitting opposite me the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day Dickhead. Of course we are, festivals are just about to start. Let's do a bit of this quickly. I thought we'd do this up the top because, God I have a sneaking suspicion people just they hear us say plugs at the end of the episode and they just turn off. And I really want people to hear this.

You want people to turn off at the start of the show? That's a novel idea. Look, people can skip the plugs if they want to fast forward through. That's fine. But if people are going to turn their backs on us trying to monetize this, I want to at least work for it, have to move that thumb and turn that little iPod wheel a little bit. Having said that, we are recording this from a gold palace at the moment. So, you know, we're doing great.

We're doing all right. Next week, March the 4th till the 9th, the Brisbane Powerhouse. I'm doing my show Dreamboat all week. March the 8th at the Southside Tea Rooms. We're doing a live Little Dumb Dumb Club at 4pm in the afternoon. Heaps of special guests confirmed. Immediately after that, Carl, you are doing your solo show. The debut of Carl Chandler's Got Talent.

Yep. So check that out. Then in Melbourne, March 27th till April 20th, we've got our own shows running for the whole Melbourne Comedy Festival. Saturdays at 5pm, we're doing live podcasts, which again are going to be heaps of fun, huge guests. So again, all of that, littledumbdumbclub.com. Ticket links are through our website.

And Sydney, put Saturdayurday may 10 in your diary because we're going to be doing a live little dum-dum club and our own solo shows on that same night so you can pack out your saturday with uh some dum-dum action and i reckon the ratings have gone through the roof because whenever i see a show if it starts with ads i'm like i'm hooked in guys what do you got next well yeah you got to do it guys if people didn't like that welcome aboard to anyone who fast-forwarded and managed to find the perfect point to tune back in on. Two super solid guests today.

First of all, marking the return from a three-year-plus absence from the show. The 2014 comeback special. Yes! Please welcome back into the Little Dum Dum Club, Oliver Clarke. Thank you very much, everybody. Much appreciated. It wasn't a hiatus. It was a chosen thing.

Well, you actually sat out all of our professional endeavours, the radio station that we used to record in. I was thinking about that on the way in, going, why are we recording here when you used to do a radio station? Well, exactly like you said, because we used to. Obviously, the making money from it didn't turn out quite as well as we did. Well, we didn't have ads at the start of the show back then, but things are changing now. Yeah, we had to sell the radio station to afford the gold palace that we're in at the moment.

This Chesterfield is delicious, by the way. And also making a return from the show, from the Circle, the project, good old mate of the show, please welcome back in a little thumbnail, Danny McGinley. Laughing at his own credits. I still lead with the circle as my main credit. As seen on the circle, if you're in the audience watching the warm-up man. Hey, I was on it

three times legitimately on the show. I had two cooking segments. Hey man, I'll keep putting it out as a credit. I loved that show. Long may it rest in peace. Are you counting the credit where I was on and then I went, look at the warm-up man. Look at him. And the camera went around on you?

Yeah, you even gave me a bit of a shout-out. I got a look in from the audience. I could use that as a plug as well. That's true. Little Tommy Sasslow and Nick Cody were in the studio audience that day. Chandler makes a television appearance and everyone gets taken care of. Don't you worry about that. Everybody knows who's in the room gets personally shouted out.

That's why I've got my nickname, the greatest man in comedy. Yeah, you're sort of like Tony Soprano of Melbourne now. I am, except I kill more people. Heart attacks coming up. And he's actually married. Yeah, and I still haven't seen that show. I mentioned it a while back, but I still haven't Seen that show I mentioned it a while back But I still haven't seen it

No I'm only watching I'm only watching it now I'm halfway through And yeah It's good Is it worth it? Yeah Yeah alright

Get onto it everyone I'm plugging an HBO show For the night Amazing Boy if people didn't like the ads How about a bunch of people Discussing whether or not The Sopranos is worth the time

This is where the real money comes in I mean It's no The Circle But No It was very generous of us with our free podcast to give a shout-out to HBO. Oh, it's reciprocal.

You can better believe that. That's happening. Yeah, yeah. People pay to get HBO. No one pays a red cent to get this. With our sweet development deal, we're developing our new sitcom, Golden Palace. Is that our sitcom or is that our Chinese restaurant we're now running?

I've heard in the latest Game of Thrones, one of the Starks is listening to a dum-dum club. It's just a little bit of... Really? That's a sweet reference I don't understand. I'm with you, Casey, absolutely. I'll put this out there. This is controversial. I've watched Game of Thrones.

Oh, very controversial. Right till Twitter hears about this. Yeah, this is going to get me some social media hate. But seriously, it's like a soap opera where every fourth episode something cool happens. But yeah, I was calling it the medieval and the beautiful. Oh, yeah. And there's a lot of gratuitous boobs. Now, when I find boobs gratuitous, clearly they've crossed a line.

I've only watched the one season, but a lot of sex happening doggy style, which I'm a fan of. I think that must be the easiest to film, doggy style, because you see that a lot. Probably the easiest to act doing. Oh, yeah, of course. Because you're not like from a, you know when you watch a lovemaking scene where they're like right on top of each other and it's like, man, that's some real boundaries being pushed there for actors, for people who aren't actually having sex,

whereas, you know, doggy, you're just kind of basically standing there. And when the doggy happens, usually it's, and I think I'm familiar enough with the position to just call it the doggy. Once you've done it ten times, then you're allowed to drop the style. Please, don't be so informal. Punch the hole out of the card. Mr. Style was my father.

This ain't your grandmama's doggy style. Please, in your familiarity with the position. Yes. And it's always when it's filmed, it's like, you know, the girl's got a bra on. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I hate that. I don't think I've ever had sex with a girl where they've had their bra on.

Is that a... Am I in the minority? No, I'd be up there as well. Yeah. Not just doggy style. I reckon a lot of movie and TV intercourse happens with a bra on. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it's so... Everything else about the show can be 100% realistic and you buy into the characters. Yeah. And then as soon as that happens, it's just like, oh, man, I'm taken out of this. This is bullshit. Or they put the bra back on straight away. How insulting would that be?

Get them away from me. Ollie what are your thoughts on doggy style? Well I think it depends on whether they're well endowed.

I mean if they're a hefty load up top maybe the bra needs to be on just for the support. It might be shit pain that they're wearing it. That's why we call him Oliver Health and

Safety Clark. Oliver's secrets. I'm concerned for the ladies. It will love your lady garden, but care for your lower back. Have you ever made love to a woman who wears two bras? What, like the Lady

in Return of the Jedi? Again, nailing the references. No, not the six boobs. Two boobs. No, she was, are you saying? She was that hefty that she needed double bra just to support what was going on. What cup are we talking? Oh, the biggest there is.

What does it get down to these days? Times two. Zed? I'll go with Zed. Double Zed. Our three female listeners are sitting there right now going, men. I know.

Welcome back to the mere male podcast. Mere male. How big was Ding Dong? She was pretty hefty there at one point, wasn't she? I'll look it up. Well, why don't you ask her co-host? Yeah, that's true. Get her to catch a few dressing room sneaky glances?

No, she would always get dressed before the rest of the cast and then head up straight to the studio because it was really, you know, we'd air-condition the hell out of it. Without even telling you her bra size. She would just take off. But she was quite menopausal at that stage. And she would always call, she was having a personal summer, which was her hot flush. Funny term, I thought.

Very good. I was thinking maybe the elevator just took its time to get up to the level because she had such a big size. She needed that extra time. I can't wait to look at this episode on where you name all the topics we talk about. We're going to open with ding-dongs boobs. Yep, yep. Ding-dongs dongers.

Certainly some weeks are easier than others. Now, I feel like I'm calling an option. Are we all done with this talk? If you'd like me to change subjects or if you've got more boob talk. If you want to keep continue boob corner, that's fine, but if you're all out. I'm going to go with pubic.

I was thinking about this on the tram and going, have you ever been in a tram where it's run over someone? What? Have you ever been on a tram that's run over someone? Can you run over something on a tram? Well, let's say there's a cyclist next to you, because I was looking at the cyclist going, what if they just fell, went under?

Yeah. Would I feel the bump? Oh, yeah, yeah. You would? No, no, I don't know. No, I don't know either. And that's what I was thinking. I reckon the shoulder would be, you might feel the shoulder,

maybe the ass, but the pubic mound, that would derail. So hang on, you're't know either. That's what I was thinking. I reckon the shoulder would be, you might feel the shoulder, maybe the arse, but the pubic mound, that would derail. So hang on, you're on a tram. The tram has run over a cyclist. And as it's kind of like there's a bump, you're able to tell at each point of the bump exactly what part of the body's been crushed. That's what I'm talking about. What a great game show.

So you've loaded this tram full of contestants and we're just hooning around looking for cyclists. So when you say like the saying goes if there's a nuclear attack

the only thing left is going to be the cockroaches. That's the same for you except a tram running over someone and the pubic mound. That's the only thing

that's going to be left. That's the only thing that's going to be left. Identifiable. You could do it. Identifiable? So do you. Identifiable? So do you recognise this mound?

I sure do. Dusting for pube prints. No, that's the rest of the body's destroyed and the pubic mound is all that's left. So, you know, when they bring the parents in and they just, like, reveal the body from a sheet, it's like, I'd know that pubic mound anywhere. Well, maybe they just start making cycling helmets from pubic mounds.

anywhere. Well, maybe they should start making cycling helmets from pubic mounds. I'm getting an image of a tram getting a bunch of pubic mounds and then going full tilt for 50 metres and then doing some sweet jumps off a pubic mound. I'm thinking of an image of Oliver Clarke jerking off

while he's watching Tour de France. Seeing all those helmets going, oh baby. No off while he's watching Tour de France. Seeing all those helmets going, oh baby. He's got the Tour de France on one screen and then World's Worst Drivers on the other screen going, oh imagine those two coming together. Sweet mash-up.

Taking a turn for the worst, I believe. Well, I mean, the pubic mount helmet, I mean, again, speaking of cancelled TV shows, the new inventors, what a shame that that's not on at the moment because that had set that show alight. Yeah, imagine seeing an infomercial on The Circle about that. Dragon's Den.

There would be that shout. Dragon's Den. That shouty Russell Gilbert guy. I reckon that my pubic mound helmet will save you heaps of lives. Oh, yeah, that little guy. He's weird. He's intense. He's full on.

This is what happened to me the other day. I went to... Smooth segue. intense. He's full on. This is what happened to me the other day. I went to... Smooth segue. Yeah. It's... Well, all right. Speaking of pubic mounds... There we go.

Me and my pubic mound were walking around the other day. All right. I'm going to get better. I didn't know he called you that. There we go. Hey, all. So, speaking of pubes and hair, I got a haircut the other day. Oh.

And it was up there where... Up there? I just realised it was a bad segue to go from pubes to haircut. I got a haircut and it was one of those fancy ones. I've gone to too many $15 haircut shops as I believe they're known as.

A fancy hairdresser, not a fancy hairdo. Yeah, fancy hairdresser. Yeah. And so it was an $80 haircut. Oh. Yeah. That's a lot.

Even for a good one, that's a lot. It's actually not. Really? Yeah. I'll admit in the past I've paid over $100 for a haircut. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't think Dr. Follicles got that expensive.

Did you get a slap with that? What are you getting done for 80 bucks? Just a cut? No. This is the fancy do. Yeah. We're witnessing it two days ago. Yeah.

No, no, no. This is like a wiki or something. You get a head massage with it? Yes, I did. Yeah, well, that's good. So you get all the fancy little things, which, you know, it's not worth it. But once you've already forked over the cash, those bonuses, you go, oh, okay. You convince yourself that it's something.

You get the massage chair. Have you ever had that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get the shampoo. Do they offer you a cup of tea or coffee or anything? Yes, yep. You convince yourself that it's something. You get the massage chair. Have you ever had that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get the shampoo. They offer you a cup of tea or coffee or anything? Yes, yeah. Did you get it? I got water.

Yeah, and then when you're paid, were you walking out of there going, I should have. Because like you said, you're trying to rationalize every part of the cost. You're like, I've forgotten a coffee. That's four bucks out of that. 76 bucks doesn't sound so bad for a haircut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I agree. I should have got something to eat.

I should have ordered something. Just pop down to Macca's. Just pop down to Macca's. Just pop down to Macca's, get something. There's a pie face. There was a pie face over the road. Oh, imagine. Just jump over and get me a beef and onion. Dump that into your water.

Yeah. Was this a lady massaging your hair or a man? Oh, yeah, because I got the, yeah, I got a lady. For that reason or just? No, no, just. You didn't have a choice? No, I didn't have a choice. It was just... No, no, just... You didn't have a choice? No, I didn't have a choice. That's what was dealt?

Yeah, yeah, just there you go. And I got the massage chair, so I got the massage on the back while I shampooed my hair, so that's all fine, which I always find a bit weird because I'll go in, I'll deliberately shampoo my hair

before I go for a haircut just to be a nice guy. That's what you do. It's not like brushing your teeth before the dentist. It is. It's exactly like that. What else is it if not that?

You know what? That's fair enough, I think. That's absolutely fair enough. I think it's the same theory with cleaning your teeth before the dentist because it's like, if you're not that good with dental hygiene normally, you're like, oh, he's going to just cane me for this. So you give it that last super scrub. I've never been berated by

a barber or hairdresser for having two. What are they going to do before you've paid? Hey, fucking shithair. So I shampoo my hair, but then it always goes like, you come in and I'll say, oh, yeah, I just washed my hair today. And they'll go, okay, that's cool. Just jump over here and we'll shampoo it. I'm like, you don't believe that I shampooed my hair?

What are you doing? Are you trying't believe that I shampooed my hair? Like, what's the... Well, what are you doing? Are you trying to, like, get the price halved or something? He's like, no, I've already done half of it, mate. Look, I shaved my initials in as well. Surely it's like a lobster. Yeah, I brought my own smock as well. So that's $10 off.

Not enough things that we have to have done in our day-to-day life feature the wearing of a smock, I'm going to say. Not enough. You need to bring the smock back and the book bag. Oh, yeah, yeah. The book bag as well. The library bag. Read a cover at my school.

Read a cover? What's wrong with book bag? It's just what happened at Wales Street. Read a cover. And then there was one teacher who didn't like it who always said, you're the reader. The reader cover is your clothes. Reader.

She's attempted suicide twice. Is that true? Yeah. Wow. What a failure. If anyone is having issues, call Lifeline on 131114. Throwing herself under trams. That pubic mound just won't break. She was saved by her epic pubic mound.

Which was covered by her reader cover. Epic pubic mound. That's going to be in the episode description for sure. I just hope she shampooed epic pubic mound. Which was covered by her reader cover. Epic pubic mound. That's going to be in the episode description for sure. I just hope she shampooed her pubic mound before that happened. Keep it nice for the coroner. Yeah, sure. Have we got all the callbacks in? Yep, good.

All right, move on. Denise Streisand. Doggy soul. In a course. Buy a ticket to her show. That's all we've got time for. Thank you. Back to boobs though.

When you're getting your head massaged, were you getting boob in the face? No. Who massages you from the front? Well, no, no, no.

Those special barber style head sinks. You know, they kind of have that scoop. Is your hairdresser climbing on top of you to massage you?

How does that work? When I was 13, she was. That was one of the last times I went to a hairdresser. I went to this place in Eltham called Tadaro's. Tadaro's. That's left quite an impression on you. It has because there were some, you know, as a kid, you're just like, oh, my God, she's smoking hot

and she's a hairdresser and she's going to do my hair. Yeah. And I used to get it done and literally it was just constantly just being battered in the face with these two buoys just oh you i'm just hang on please i'm sure you wouldn't have noticed that at age 13 though i'm sure you would have been fine oh no you were outraged and never went back there again that smock was like a tent you know know? I was sitting down. And also, another thing is you were sitting there. Did you have your hands on the rails? On the armrests? Oh, that sort of thing usually

sticks with me, but I can't remember. As a kid, I remember just having it there and I would be leaning up on it and my hand was there at one point and it was touching the pubic mound and I didn't know whether to move my hand or not. Really? Yeah, this was happening. But she gave a great cut

too. This was brought up as kind of a carefree tale of youth but it sounds like a sexual assault has happened in this Elver Medres. As you can clearly see from my erection now, it was... He's probably paying $10. I'm paying $80. I didn't get any of this.

Oh, happy day. Oh, man. Oh, Jesus. No, I didn't get any of that. See, I got the shampoo.

She didn't believe me, so she's shampooing my hair, which is fine, I guess. Whatever. It's a free shampoo.

It's fine. Then I get the massage of the head and face. And the face. The face. Yeah, yeah. Just, you know, head and then going around to the face. Are you sure that's not just them slapping you because you've been a bit handsy during the whole process? No, no.

Yeah, just like me going, you didn't bloody sun silk your hair. Stop lying to me. So I did that. Stop lying to me. So I did that. And then I got the massage of the shoulders and back, which I believe is a new development in haircuts. I believe it relaxes the follicles.

Right, right. Start of the base of the follicles. Streamline cut. Getting rid of the, in case the roots are really deep in the hair, just into the shoulders. Just getting the roots. So I got that. But then the first thing she said,

because I think a different person did that, and then I got the real person. Yeah, they get the apprentices to do the head massage, which is always a bit awkward. So she may have thrown that massage in as a bit of a flourish, just a bit of maybe her getting an advance in her role a bit early, just going, there you go, I've got a new invention for you. I do the back and shoulders as well.

Oh, she's a maverick. Yeah. She's a pioneer of apprentice hairdressers. Yeah, she's pushing it. So the real hairdresser comes in, the proper one, the professional, comes in and gives me the whole, you know, what do you want done today?

I'm like, oh, I'm a boy. I don't know how it works. I just want a haircut. That's fine. Not too much. I don't want it too short. Just, you know, whatever. And she goes, oh, when was your last haircut?

I'm like, oh, I don't know, a couple of months ago. Okay, right. And yeah, so you just usually, you know, it's just pretty simple, is it? Okay, yep, yep. No worries. She walks away and comes back like five minutes later. I'm just sitting there doing nothing going, what happens next? She comes back with a piece of paper and goes, well, I've done you a quote there.

And you can just have a look at that. And I'm like, what are you talking about? This sounds like a cross between a masseuse and a mechanic that you've gone into. Yeah, that's exactly it. Like, what am I supposed to do? I get the quote and it's just like, haircut, $80. I'm like, oh, that seems correct. You should have walked, man.

That would have been a free massage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think of that. And a free shampoo. Yeah. But. Yeah, I didn't think of that. And a free shampoo. Yeah. But why don't they bring out a quote? Like, you can't...

What do you... Can you argue that down? Yeah. Because that suggests to me that you go, what if we do 60? Yeah, I get up and go, thanks, I'll look around. I'll walk down the block.

Yeah, just take the smock with me and walk around. You walk in the door. I believe we're paying less at Todaro's these days. I think you'll find... Because that's what they they do you know when people do that in shops they go they'll walk in and say oh how much is how much is this and they go oh 60 bucks you go yeah well down the road they do it for 55 so what do you say about that you know do you do that no no no i'm because i'm a shop kid because i've you know i grew up with my parents running shops so i know what sort of scum. So fuckheads do that.

Yeah, exactly. The sort of scum that come in and try and get you down five bucks or whatever. So, yeah. So I'm sitting there locked into the chair with a smock on. It's like, there's your quote. What do you do? Yes. Like, what's your alternative?

Yeah. Just a waste of paper otherwise. Yeah. It's a weird thing to, if you can't do anything about it, if you're not encouraged to try and do something about it, it's a weird thing to, if you can't do anything about it, if you're not encouraged to try and do something about it, it's a weird thing to bring up. Yeah, isn't it? I should have talked her up, mate. Should have said,

look at this head. Come on, that's 150. You'll enjoy it. I mean, you're going to have a good time with this hair. If anything, you should be paying me to get to touch this bad boy. She's been shampooed twice. Like, I kind of, also I like that she had to go away because all you've had done is just a men's haircut,

which is the most basic thing that you can get done. If you were like, oh, look, I want to put some colour in and then maybe have a weird cut and all this stuff and she's got to go add up all those different things, I'd understand it. But to just walk into the back and go, how much is a haircut again? Oh, $80. Oh, okay.

I better write it on a bit of paper so it looks like I've been doing something back here. Who's she gone to? She's gone back to the big boss of the hairdressers and gone, I've got a quote. I'm working on a quote. What do you think? It's a haircut. $80, what do you reckon?

The boss goes, what the fuck are you doing? We never do quotes. What are you doing? The boss is just going, oh, that's a good one. Jeez, this has never come up before. It's the same banker from Deal or No Deal. Just worked it out. Yeah.

They just check the price board. There's just one thing on the price board. Haircut, $80. Yeah, I think that checks out. All right, we'll do that. I think Carl's failing to tell us that he was covering greys. That's a fair price. Oh, yeah, there you go.

That'd bump it up. $40, buddy. Am I right? Am I? No? No, no. Not even close. That's all real price. Oh, yeah, there you go. That'd bump it up. 40 bucks, buddy. Really? Am I right? Am I? No? No, no. Not even close.

That's all real. What are you going to do when you start going grey? Are you going to be a dye guy or are you just going to roll with it? I found a thing of dye in my dad's cupboard and it really broke my heart a little bit. Just go with it, you know? Dad's like nearly 70.

Just be grey. Oh, it broke your heart because you didn't know your dad dyed his hair. No, no, this was a while ago, but like, yeah, no, I kind of did. Just knowing that... This is like a Santa Claus moment for you. Just knowing that he was flirting with the idea of like, you know, the self-esteem thing

of like not wanting to be grey. It's like, just reach a point where you're happy to be grey. Just do it, man. Yeah, I think I'm doing pretty well at the moment considering my dad's pretty grey. Yeah. And yeah, I got a bit of a shock the other day because I've got a few hairs in the front there where I'm like, it, it's like, oh. Just like Mr. Sheffield.

Yeah, not quite as much as that, hopefully. But yeah, I'm like, oh man, because it's such a bad point to get it. Like if you're going to have bloody full grey hairs, do you have to have them right there? It's like a real, you know, you're trying like a real you know you're trying to sell a shop you're trying to sell a house and it's like yeah the house is perfect

except we kicked the front door in is that is that cool do you want to buy that for a million bucks why couldn't you kick the bloody

shed door in when no one sees it you think you're perfect apart from those poor grey hairs the golden palace of people yeah

but but my girlfriend the other day went, oh, yeah, you've got a few grey ones on the side. I'm like, oh, what? I had no idea. Yeah. Because you can't see that.

I think you look fantastic with a full white head of hair. Oh, look. You will. Look, five minutes ago, you didn't even know I had one grey hair. So I'm going to, let's get back to those times. Who are the gold standards? It's right up the front.

You can't tell. Who are the gold standards of being grey? I mean, McAuliffe does it super well. He is... The guy on Mad Men. I admire his work. Yep, yep. Well, I know you've never met him, but old Salty, my dad.

Oh, your dad? He's completely white. He looks fantastic. He's a good grey man? Yeah, he looks like Sean Connery. Okay. Yeah. Ted Danson?

Another good grey man. Is that right? I don't like him. But he looks good regardless. Yeah, that's true. Jess Brosnan? He's doing some good grey stuff. Is he grey?

Is he grey? Richie Beno. A bit sporty. I'm sorry. Has anyone ever walked into a hairdresser's and said, give me the Richie Beno? Has anyone ever walked into a... Not as many as people have walked into a,

give me the Oliver's dad. Has anyone ever gone into a Taylor's and said, give me the Richie Beno. I don't think anyone's asked for Richie Beno in any form. So once it takes hold a bit more, are you going to go the old just for men? Are you going to start dying? Are you going to start juicing? Yeah, well, that's a good question, which I thought of the other day when my girlfriend said on the side, oh, there's a couple there.

And I'm like, oh, what, really? And she goes, no no you can't notice them and I'm like you just noticed them you just did it you just said it don't I don't want

this might come out wrong but don't women love pointing out a grey hair don't they love it yeah I've had female friends when I've had like bit of bit or whatever

going ah you've got a couple of grey hairs they were in your 20s so it's a bit of a novelty I suppose so yeah yeah it is like I think I got a grey hair in your 20s, so it's a bit of a novelty then. I suppose so. Yeah, it is.

I think I got a grey hair in my 20s and went, oh yeah, that's like I'm in a movie. It's like I'm on the nanny. Well guys, I've on this subject, I've just inherited half a bottle of Rogaine. Inherited?

Inherited. It obviously didn't work very well. I can't remember whoever used it. No, it actually did. So whoever used it found out you don't drink it, you've got to stick it on. No, he had alopecia on two 20-cent piece bits of his face, and it was really obvious, like on both sides of his mouth. For those who don't have the webcam set up.

I didn't know you could get alopecia everyone understands a mouth without a webcam danny yeah i didn't know you could get alopecia in just little segments i thought it was like a full thing that no it's just a little thing he had and he's got it and he's used it and this is a guy i go watch um football with so we've been very drunk together and i don't remember this but he just came around we were about to go to a game and he said, there's your Rogaine. And I was like, what? Apparently I was drunk. And I went, he's going, I don't need the Rogaine. I'm like, I'll give it a crack, mate.

I've got this bald spot. It's bloody awesome. Let's see if it works. I don't want to pay for it, but. What's alopecia again? Alopecia is can't grow hair. Oh, right. Yeah.

He's got that on top of his head. No, no, no. He had it on his jaw. And it's been cured. He was taking on his jaw. And it's been cured. He was taking Rogaine to get a beard. It's a cream you rub in. To get a beard? Yeah.

Is that what Rogaine was invented for? No, it's to fix people like me who've got a proper bald spot and receding. That's a bit weird to put on your face, isn't it? Well, it worked for him. He's got a normal beard now. That just seems like an odd thing because, you know, I can understand if you had a bald spot or something and people would see it or notice it,

but no girls are coming up to a guy and going, oh, jeez, your chin's a bit bald. Well, but it was because he had a full beard the rest of the time, so it seriously just looked like... Oh, yeah, just one spot coming out of his beard. Did you listen at all? No, no, no. He literally just...

I mean, the viewers at home don't even have the visuals. You have the visuals visuals If you're listening And you have alopecia What Carl is trying to say Is that you do not deserve The same rights as the rest of us Get your hands off our rogue game That's for us

I refuse to listen to you You and stories about you You've been drifting in and out Ever since Clarky told us the story About getting a wristie At an Elsa barbershop Where he's either going to ride into Penthouse Forum or Dolly Doctor.

We haven't worked out yet. But I think the old alopecia is caused by stress, though, isn't it? So maybe it was a peace of mind just putting the cream on the back. Could be. The placebo effect. So have you started using the rego? No, I've not.

Because it's not the sort of thing I wanted to take on tour with me. You know, just lugging it through airports and everything. But with the baby coming up, I'm going to be in Melbourne for three months straight. I've decided I'm going to give it a crack. And I'm happy for Dumb Dumb listeners to come along on the journey. Maybe try it out on the baby. I was going to say. Oh, that's a great idea.

Yeah. There you go. The wife won't be happy. Because it's our first one. We've got to treat this one well. Yeah, yeah. Do experiments on the second one. That's what great idea. Yeah. There you go. The wife won't be happy. Because it's our first one, we've got to treat this one well. Yeah, yeah. Do experiments on the second one. That's what they're for.

The old saying. Once you know they're easy. Once you've got a spare up your sleeve, mate. Only baby in town with a moustache. That'd be nice. Now that's something. Sadly, it's a girl. Well, there you go.

Even better. That was a cheap gag. It's a boy. Speaking of you, it's a girl, but, you know. Well, even worse. Even better. That was a cheap gag. It's a boy. Speaking of you about to become a dad, this is something that my dad said to me recently. Now, that is how you do a fucking segue. Especially if all people at home haven't seen the sweet point that you aimed at me, Ginlay, and then brought across to me.

Babe Ruth style. Just check out where this bad boy is going to land. All in the shoulder. So I went to me. Babe Ruth style. Just check out where this bad boy is going to land. All in the shoulder. So I went to America for 10 days recently. I went and did some gigs over there. Had a couple of dumb friends of the show come out and say hi. A couple of dumb friends of the show. A couple of dumb friends of the show.

No intelligent people came to see me. They were actually mute. They didn't enjoy the gig. No, I was about to say dumbos and then, well, we still don't know what we call them. But people who listen to the podcast came out to a couple of gigs in LA and San Fran, which was very cool. This is my dad's advice to me before I left. My dad said to me that this is something that he heard.

Because my dad, in terms of like kind of like advice for the industry, it's all based on stuff that someone's told him that was a good idea 60 years ago. Like all his kind of business ideas and stuff like that. Don't admit you're a communist. Rule number one, don't wear red at all. So Dad goes to me before I leave, he goes, you know, when you're over there and you're at your gigs and you're meeting people and you're in Hollywood

and you're hobnobbing, that's what someone said to me. What you need is, to introduce yourself to people, you need like a letter, like a letter of introduction. So you know what you do write? You get onto Rove and you get him to write you a letter saying to whom it may concern, this is my friend Tommy Dasolo, a great comedian who does a podcast in Melbourne, and you just print off like 20 or 30 of them,

have them sitting in your pocket and just ready to go so that, you know, when you meet people, that's how you make connections. And I said, Dad, that is the most just foolhardy, outdated advice you could possibly give out that is absolutely baseless and did he use the word hobnobbing oh no I think that's a bit of sauce that I've added in

and then make sure you've got a big dark head of hair I've got something that can help you out here yeah but how's that for advice like first of all I've met Rove like maybe three times. So that presumes that I have enough of a relationship to just get onto him and go, hey, just bang out a letter for us.

Second of all, this is in Hollywood where he's kind of known a little bit there, but he still is by and large making a name for himself over there. And so to them, it's like, well, that guy's Australian. It's basically you saying, well, my mate reckons I'm okay. Can I play with you? Yeah, I might as well go over with a letter from mum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I just love me, the idea of me being at a party

and meeting whoever and them going, oh, great gig. You know, I love that bit you did about your dog and me going, hang on, before we go any further with this, I have a letter here that I need to present you with. Just have a quick read of that. I'll go get a drink and then Google who the recommendation's from. But it is, I mean, you know, you gotta

you know, I appreciate Dad wanting to help out and everything but it is so, I mean. What does your dad do as a job? He's an architect. Maybe that's how he climbed the, I mean, is he I'm going to name my only architectural thing. Is he Frank Lloyd Wright? Yeah, Frank Lloyd Wright gave him a letter one day

and that's how dad made his teeth. No, that's his dad, Frank Lloyd Wright. And that's Wright is Tommy's original name. He used to be Tommy Wright. So glad I got that right, by the way, because I was tossing up between Frank Lloyd Wright and George Bernard Shaw. One was an architect and the other one wrote My Fair Lady.

And the fact that none of you jumped on me means pick the architect. Poor architects. It's not a, if you want to be famous, who is there? Frank Lloyd Wright. Who are the other ones that everyone knows? There's Ted from How I Met Your Mother. Oh, yeah. The aliens who did the pyramids.

The greatest architects of all. Let's get into it. Are they the best architects? Because that's just a triangle. Sure. Let's spend 10 minutes on this and then let's get into how 9-11 was an inside shot. The dad get into it. Are they the best architects? Because that's just a triangle. Sure, let's spend ten minutes on this and then let's get into how 9-11 was an inside job. The dad from Hey Dad.

Yeah, okay, possibly the most maybe the most famous architect of all. Maybe not known as much for his architecturalisms these days. Well, he was the architect of some pretty horrific crimes. Allegedly. I hope you didn't give him a quote for that.

Letter of recommendation. But it was typed out by Betty, Horrific crimes. Allegedly. I hope you didn't give him a quote for that. No, no. Letter of recommendation. Letter of recommendation. From some other children. But it was typed out by Betty, so it didn't make any sense. What a great time that show was, hey? For our American friends, that was eschatary. That was, oh, yeah. Let's explain some hey dad jokes for the rest of the episode.

It's going to take a while. Also, we were talking earlier about TV shows and stuff and we've talked a little bit before on the show about your girlfriend trying to get you to start watching The

Sopranos midway through season four. A friend of mine told me a friend of his at work is doing this. His friend is watching The Simpsons. He wants to go through

from the very beginning and watch every Simpsons episode in order and then any time he gets to a movie reference, he's going to stop the episode and watch the movie. How many times is he going to watch Citizen Kane? I know.

That's what I said. Citizen Kane, Close Encounters. Also, if you've never seen the movie, how are you going to pick the movie reference? Well, I think he's going to sit there with a list. And it was like, why don't you just – how about you just watch the movies that have been referenced? And he's like, nah, I want to stop the episode midway through.

And that's going to give me a deeper appreciation of the jokes. Is there a movie Shazam? So every piece of dialogue, he can just hold it up to it. And it's like, nice to see you home, Homer. Is that a movie? No, that's original. Home Alone. I better watch it.

But kind of respect to him because, man, that is a long term. That's going to take a long time to get through. I've got no respect because that's a stupid plan. It is not going to get beyond five minutes. It's actually an easy way to watch every Simpsons episode ever. Watch Channel 10. Oh, yeah, just every night. But they're playing around with it.

They keep taking it off. I know it's Modern Family now. Really is it now? That is scandalous. Just leave it on. Just 6 p.m. weeknights.? That is scandalous. Just leave it on. Just 6pm weeknights. Don't dick around with this other stuff. Absolutely.

Has this guy got a girlfriend by the way? I would think not. I don't know anything else about him. He's got a bit of a loose end. I reckon I'm going to say fresh from a breakup. Oh really? That's the sort of project that you... Some people go to the gym, they get a new haircut. Travel.

All those cockamamie things that you thought of when you're in a relationship where you went, I do this but the bloody missus won't let me. And then it ends and you go, finally! I can go and try and make eight sandwiches in one hour now that she's not around. Finally I can make sure I don't get

another girlfriend for a little while. I love how you guys are coming up with these harebrained ideas. Let's face it, if we're going to be honest, finally I can fuck her sister. Yeah, okay. Thank you, Ollie, for laughing at that. I think I'm laughing at the silence from these two. Okay, our girlfriends both listen,

so we would not want to be committing any of those kind of thoughts. I've never noticed. This will never come up. Playing it safe. Just playing it safe. You're playing it safe by going, I don't care enough about my girlfriend to know anything about her family. I've only got eyes for her, mate. I don't notice any other women related to her.

Don't know if she's got a mum. Wouldn't know. Could be an orphan. Could be a test tube baby. How would I know? I'm just so in love when I look at her that nothing else matters to me. I don't even know who you people are. I thought I was just talking to myself.

Still could be. Still could be. Speaking of weird stuff like that, I... Yeah, now you're learning. Yeah. Speaking of weird things. You needed a point. No, no, no.

When you said that, I was reading today on the internet's Wikipedia, you know, Jermaine Jackson of the Jackson Five. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He ended up marrying and having children with his brother's wife. Oh, lordy. What, Michael? No. Tito?

No. This could take a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I don't know who it was, but it was, yeah, one of his brothers had a wife, had three kids, and then he hooked up with the wife and had another two kids.

So that means his kids are... Brother cousins. Yeah. Or sister cousins. Yeah. Which officially lets Michael Jackson off the hook of being the weirdest one going around in that family Does it?

Yeah, maybe not Well, in terms of proved things How did this come up? Well, work on a little show called Spicks and Specks Is this just you trying out jokes for Spicks and Specks on the podcast To see how your Jermaine Jackson sex theories fly Did you find that funny? Did you?

Because, I mean, if you did... I'm just going to put on Twitter that Josh L shouted it too much. Don't be like that. He's a friend. What are they paying you in there just to put the Jacksons into Wikipedia? That sounds like you're earning your keep.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, Wikipedia is such an invaluable resource, isn't it? Like, I don't understand how you could do a show like that or any sort of show with, like, Encyclopedia Britannica in the old days. Like, how did you... I actually don't remember how anyone did anything. I used to... When I was on Fox FM, I used to go on IMDB and look at trivia about movies that singers had been in.

Right. Because there was no Wikipedia. So that was the best I could get. And I'd be like, hey, up next, a song from a lady who was in a film which premiered. So everything had to be film related. Yeah, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

Thankfully, the program director Never realised I was doing this He was like I like your trivia And I go It's good that you're not listening Until the day Until the day when you went

Coming up next A song by a singer That a bloke on the internet Called Big Nuts 69 Thinks he's a faggot That's coming up right after this I love that that's your version Of the olden days

Look mate Back in the olden days Before Wikipedia We had to use IMDB And cobbled together Movie trivia for musicians. And we were happy. Oliver Clark, we mentioned before,

three and a bit year absence from the program. What's been going on? You do a lot of which I'm fascinated by. You do a lot of music gigs at various clubs around the place. I did want to bring this up at some point. I can't remember what you did so badly that took us three and a half years to get you back. I was wondering because you were still booking me around the place. I did want to bring this up at some point. I can't remember what you did so badly that took us three and a half years to get you back. I was wondering because you were still booking me for the rooms.

And then it's like, well, I'm not getting booked for the podcast. But you've always been like that with comedy a little bit. You're a bit of a comedy drifter. You'll sort of disappear for a few months. It's like a rollercoaster. Because this is the problem. I've got the pull from the music and then the comedy. And I go through phases of loving one and the other,

and then they come to the middle, which they're probably at now. Love them both. So you play straight music? Play straight music, do a few cover gigs around town. But I say around town. They're mainly at aged care facilities. Some of our listeners may have seen you at one of these gigs. Boy, isn't that great?

The image of just a nursing home where they just gather around the old iPod on a Sunday afternoon and just kick back and listen to Dumb Dumb Club. You're playing songs. They're looking up IMDB, finding out information about the music that you're playing. Exactly. Or watching the Golden Palace. That's what they had in the old days.

Yeah. The RACV Club is one. It's a country club out in the Healesville, out Healesville way. Sweet promo. Sweet plug for that. But to get an idea, it's like they've done a refurb on this thing,

which is like 80 million or something. It's like Caddyshack. So what is this? It's like a country club or something, is it? That's what it is, yeah. Right. Do you have to be a member? Well, no.

You can just sign in and do whatever. It's the RACV Club. Is this where you get taken when you broke down? Yeah, that's where they put you up. That's how you get in. That's how you get membership. They put you up for a couple of nights. Yeah, while they're putting a new car battery in, it's like, go in and listen to Oliver.

Well, I think you'll find there was no one listening to me. I was safe on the roads last Saturday night. Great. Just very quickly, I like Danny giving out maybe the slyest ever asking of how did you get that that's ever come up on the show. How do you become a member of the... I just want to see Ollie do some sweet tunes.

Hey, don't we all? When you say sweet, just give me one minute here. I've got to... Go. No, I'm very keen to get back to Oliver's story, but I got a tweet from someone the other day after doing a gig that just said... And the tweet said, I was sitting next to get back to Oliver's story, but I got a tweet from someone the other day after doing a gig that just said, and the tweet said,

I was sitting next to someone watching you do a gig and the guy went next to me and said, this guy, his favourite word is sweet. Meaning me. Yeah. And I'd apparently said the world record for sweet, land speed record for sweet on stage. You say it a bit.

Do I say it a bit? I think you're a fan of it. Am I? Definitely. It sticks in my mind. I hear you say sweet. Okay. I don't mean to be that. I'm going to cut Sweet on stage. You say it a bit. Do I say it a bit? I think you're a fan of it. Am I? Yeah, definitely. It just sticks in my mind. I hear you say Sweet. Okay, I don't mean to be that. I'm going to cut down on that. You're not leaning on it,

to use an old thing my program director would say. He would often say, no, you're leaning on that word, mate. You're leaning on IMDB, mate. Just stop looking it up. You're leaning on Diana Ross's movie career. Maybe get off that. Old Gary Sweet. You're leaning on Diana Ross's movie career. Maybe get off that. Old Gary Sweet.

Yeah. You're leaning on that surname. Unless you were trying to shoehorn it in there as a catchphrase. No, I'm not at all. No, no. Sweet. No, no. Classic Chandler.

Yeah, there we go. Yeah. No, I just... Well, that's good. I'm glad it hasn't been a complete intervention here about that I'm the sweet guy, all right? Your minute's up. All right, great. How would you describe that one minute, Carl?

Begins with an S. Savory. Two S. Yes. So back to your RCV club. So essentially I get these gigs, which I'm playing to no one, but I get paid okay for them.

So you're standing in a room playing cover. Easy listening classics, girl. Yeah. Chris Isaac, That Crowded House. Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing. Yeah, I do. I put that one. A bit of Wicked Games.

Oh, yeah. Give us a bit of Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing. Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing. Yeah. Give us a bit of Feel Like Cry Thing. Bad, Bad Thing. Give us a bit of Feel Like Crying. Yeah. No. No.

That's the best bit of the song. Feel like crying. Yeah, I can do that. It gets high. Yeah? Because he has that big bit where he just... Yeah, that bit. Feel like crying.

Oh, that's good. Feel like crying. Hello, Double AMI. Your membership can fuck off. Does it feel good to play to a full house at the moment? You guys are the best audience ever. I'll get your membership. I had a friend who is a member of the RACV club,

the one in the city, and before I really knew what it was, he would always go, hey, you know, I'm going to be in the city. If you're going to be in the city, let's go get lunch at the RACV club. And I didn't know what it was. I thought it was just us going into like a mechanics or something and eating in there. It always just sounded like, what is this? Yeah, just a cafe next to the...

I had a friend that did the same thing. They'd always be like, come and hang out at the RACV club. I'm like, that sounds like the biggest dorkiest club ever. I'm not fucking doing anything like that. I've never heard of this. Where is the RACV club club there's one in Bourke Street yeah and it's nice

there's one down in Inverloch as well it seems like too much publicity I don't know I've been to a couple of I think it seems like there's too much chance for you to get in trouble

for this I think that's what it sounds like I've been to a couple of functions like a couple of 21st's at the RSV club in Melbourne

it's nice it's a nice place I did a corporate comedy gig there as well and that was pretty bad oh really did you really how long ago

about a year and a half no it must have been two years ago like this Christmas right so your gig out in

where's it called Healesville yeah so I'm fascinated by it because it sounds like no one ever comes along and I'm desperate to come along well yeah and I think you should but I think you'll find that I'm fascinated by it because it sounds like no one ever comes along. And I'm desperate to come along. Well, yeah, and I think you should,

but I think you'll find that I'm playing for four hours and there will be a chance that the novelty is going to wear off. I think you'll be sitting there. They serve beer, don't they? They serve beer. Yeah, we're fine. When's the next one? Let's organise Dumb Dumb Listener Road Trip.

Next Saturday night. Oh, yeah. Saturday night. Yeah, it's Saturday night. This is the thing. So there's nothing more depressing when you're a single man driving home from Healesville at 11 o'clock at night just thinking to yourself, I played to no one.

This is my life. But, hey, at least you had that memory of when you got jacked off getting a haircut too. So, you know, it's all good. My erection's doing the steering. That is. Now, that is sweet. If I may borrow a catchphrase, that is very sweet.

I'll need that back soon. Can you name your next show that? My erection's doing the steering. I'll do the poster. I bet you will. You're going to take the photo as well? Yeah, no, I'm like Carl. I've been meaning, because I saw you do a gig at Manchester Lane once in the city,

the old jazz club that no longer exists. And that was great fun. That was my favourite gig of all time for me. That was so much fun. That was so much fun. It's nice when you get a venue that just gets packed out, full of friends, and the night just goes off. Yeah, it was the best.

And what have you got? You got a band? You got the Oliver Clark 7 or something? No, at the moment I'm just sort of trying to release clips, video clips for the upcoming album, which has been upcoming for a long time, Jess. You've been hankering for this for a long time. I heard a sweet preview of that maybe two years ago.

You did, yeah. You played me a little Cheeky Taste. Absolutely. But Atomic Thrust is out, obviously, the single, which is up on YouTube. Oh, yeah, yeah. Check it out. Check out the clip. Awesome clip. But the next clip is out, obviously. The single, which is up on YouTube. Oh, yeah, yeah. Check it out. Check out the clip.

Awesome clip. But the next clip is called Lips. And that should be out in the next few weeks, I imagine. Now, not to give anything away of the song, what kind of lips are we talking? We are talking lips on mannequins. Oh. What does that mean?

Cliched. Well, oh, you mean... Been done to death, hasn't it? Yeah, just the lower part of the mannequin. Not those lips, no. The... What? I'm so confused.

Yeah, no. The clip will explain it all anyway. I look forward to it. It's cryptic, I know. But I want to get back to the point. I do want to come out to your gig. Absolutely. I want to...

And maybe I should make sure that there is a gang because now that you've said that, I'm thinking my initial idea was, yeah, just me and Oliver will drive out there. And now I'm thinking, and I just drink by myself for four hours while you play tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree. If you were going to, but I'd be singing it all to you. Let's get a posse. Let's definitely get a posse road trip down there. Get a posse down there because you never know who else is in the venue.

I had Daryl Braithwaite playing down in the ballroom. Really? International people won't know that. To no one as well? Well, I don't know. Yeah, no. He had a crowd and I went down there and checked him out and they were not getting into it.

He was giving his heart and soul into that gig and nothing. Just getting nothing. Did that make you feel a bit better? It did. But he gave me the wink as he walked by. He acknowledged my style. How depressing would it be if we come to watch you and then just pissing off to see like Darryl Braithwaite or someone?

Yeah. That'd be pretty... I'd be a little offended. Uncanny X-Men. Backstage with Darryl. Sinking cans. Networking. Yeah, he'd bring a letter.

Yeah. Yeah, who would you bring the letter from? Brian Mannix recommends me. Brian Mannix, yeah. Yeah, Daryl Cotton. We're good mates. Good mates with Daryl Cotton. Check out Spixboy over here.

Yeah, boning up. I can claim this podcast now. The funniest bit for me about you writing for Spix and Spex is a music quiz show for people who overseas are not familiar you're a man who a couple of years ago on the show when talking about Kanye West referred to him as Kanye yes you said I think Kanye

might be on my plane yes might have been on my plane that is a daily struggle for me to not pronounce it like that still I've pitched so many jokes with him involved and every time I go I go remember not to do that shit thing that you did and people laughed at which way was it?

which way did you go that time? a good lesson for us to all learn doesn't matter how famous you get there'll still be one bloke out there who pronounces your name wrong really makes you think doesn't it? and one person working professionally in your line of work as well

yeah absolutely but yeah Spics and Specs yeah 8.30 Wednesday night guys right there in your line of work as well. Yeah, absolutely. But, yeah. Spics and Specs. Yeah, 8.30, Wednesday nights, guys. Right there. Sweet plug. You'll be the only writer for the show, obviously.

No, no, no. There's more than me. Spics and Sweets. Guys, I think that brings us to the end of the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Danny and Oliver, thank you very much for joining us. Thank you, guys. Now, Danny, you are in Adelaide this coming weekend. Yeah.

I don't know how many Dum Dum fans will actually be interested in the show. Myself and fellow Dum Dummer Jacques Barrett. Is he a fellow Dum Dummer? Has he been on the show? He has not been. Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Oh! Well, that's awkward.

Someone's got their letter of reference a little bit wrong there. We're doing a show at the Fringe for the Clipsil crowd. Now, for those who aren't familiar, Adelaide Fringe is on. We're doing a demo with a lot of car heads. Adelaide has a lot of

festivals and events that happen over the year, except instead of over the year, they all happen in the space of two weeks. So while the Fringe Festival is going on, a big arts festival with plays about a dying Albanian woman's pain, there'll also be rev heads in sporting. We're talking weapons grade bogans here. Yeah, yeah. And you're hoping to bring them together.

Well, yeah, because they often will infiltrate other stand-up shows. And because they've been drinking all day, they'll ruin it. So myself and Jacques thought, let's just do a show for them. We can handle drunk crowds. We work in clubs all throughout the year. So it could be horrible. It could be awesome. We don't know.

We're going to find out. Very much waiting to hear the end of this. Are you being sponsored by the rest of the festival just to take all the fuckheads out of every other show? We are planning to give everyone a flyer, a few flyers of our show. So you're there saying, hey, come see Dreamboat. It's a show about, you know, I'm from Little Dungeon.

Is there fucking tits here? No, but you will love this show. Oh, yeah, great, great. And we'll take them. I like that you're going, yeah, we want those ones. We do. We're happy to. The ones that are looking for tits, you want them. Yeah, well, our show's got tits.

What? Yeah. Really? Yep. You can buy beer throughout our show. Hang on, where do for tits, you want them. Yeah, well, our show's got tits. What? Yeah. Really? Yep. You can buy beer throughout our show. Hang on, where do the tits...

Talk me through it. Where do the tits come in? Well, okay, since it's the Dumb Dumb Club, I'll tell you what we're honestly going to do,

but we have put strong warning of nudity. We're just going to come out with two copies of Picture Magazine and we're going to tell the drunk blokes that there's...

Pass them around. No, no, we're just going to flash them at the start and go, there's your tits, now listen to the fucking jokes.

Oh, right. Yeah. Good backfire. So, what happens after they beat you them at the start and go, there's your tits, now listen to the fucking jokes. Oh, right. Yeah, good backfire. Yeah, what happens after they beat you up in the first two minutes of the show? Security comes in, they leave, we keep their money. The Picture Magazine is destroyed sort of Tasmanian Devil style as they just spin around and leave the magazine in tatters. And yet still probably the most respected copy of Picture Magazine for that week. So that's V8 Super Jokes.

That is on this weekend. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. AdelaideFringe.com.au for tickets. Sure. Oliver Clarke, making a grand return to the Melbourne Comedy Festival this year. Grand return to Dum Dum and the Comedy Festival. Why not? Two in the one, yeah. Why not? It's Oliver Clarke, the comeback

special. So I've been away from a solo show for a few years. And this is basically a big Vegas show in a very intimate venue. This is a venue I did a show in, so it seats about 30 people, 28 people I believe. The pressure's off, you know? I've already had a few pre-sales, I feel like that's half my room full. Great. That's it, because it's a beautiful room in the way that you go down, if people have been

to the Melbourne Comedy Festival before, there's a big blackboard down not very far away from that venue and you see all the shows available and you see that beautiful

red sold out sticker and no one knows that there's 13 seats in your venue. It doesn't matter. You've got a sold out sticker. Sold out again. So I'm looking forward to it.

It's going to be a lot of fun. A lot of fun. A lot of fun. A bit of singing. Not much, though. Oh. Happy to do it. But lots of gags. And that's in the same hotel as my show this year.

That's right. It's in the Portland Hotel. And we, at times, somewhat conflict. We do. Yeah. At home, you've got to think about who you love more, Oliver Clarke or the Chairman. You've got to think about who you love more, Oliver Clarke or the Chairman. You've got to think about that really quickly right now.

You know what? We're doing 22 shows. No, no, no. I don't want you. If you've gone to Oliver's show, I don't want you. I'm all about sharing. Sharing is caring. No, that's fine. Come to every show, guys.

22 nights. Guys, we've got all our stuff on sale that we mentioned before. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for all our details. Thank you very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. Now sing see you, mates. See you, mates.