The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 39 - Steele Saunders & Pete Sharkey

Episode Date: June 27, 2011

Coinsy, Maryborough Bombshells and The Talented Mr. Sharkey. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mates! Welcome once again to the Little Dumb Dumb Club. My name is Tommy Dasolo and sitting opposite me is Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. How's it going over there? It's good. We're doing a rare night edition. Not that the listeners can tell, but it's lovely to look at. I'm looking at you. You look a bit like David Letterman with the knight background behind you there. And also I'm wearing a suit.

You're not wearing a suit. No. But you are banging one of your interns. Which is sort of you at this point. It's a two-person team we've got here. Internally intern. iTunes reviews. Here's an interesting one.

Probably would have been funnier if I'd not just listened to a podcast about court-licensed child abuse. Tough gig to follow. Five stars. Yeah, I know who that is. Really? Because, you know, because we read out these comments every week now, people are intentionally trying to get on, which is funny, which is good. That disappoints me that that's not a real person. No, I saw that one, and then I had to think about it.

I know who it is. It's a guy that I used to work with and here's the story behind it. This is why he said that. There's a thing when you're in comedy, when you tell someone you're a comedian, a lot of times I find they're fascinated to see what you're like. And instead of bothering to go and see you at a club or whatever, they go, oh, you should come and do a gig at my work or at my house or in my yard, whatever it is, just so that they don't have to do any effort.

Right. They can just see you wherever. So this guy booked me. He said, do you want to come and do this gig in Ballarat where he lives at the Lions Club? He doesn't live at the Lions Club, but it's at the Lions. It was at the Lions Club, but it's at the Lions. It was at the Lions Club. So I went up there and what I didn't know was I was going to be like the last bit of entertainment for the Lions Club meeting. The first bit, there was two bits to the night.

I was the second bit. The first bit that I followed was a woman talking for an hour about being abused as a child. By her dad. So that's a sweet combo. Yeah, so she's like, and that's when, and that put the root into family tree. Anyway, here's Kyle Chandler. And it's like you couldn't have got a dead room. People are just crying and going, oh, who's this horrible man?

As good as that story is, I do, part of me does kind of wish that that was an actual legitimate comment on the iTunes. I just think it's hilarious that someone would blame us for the order in which they listen to things. Yeah. I mean, that would have been great. Yeah. But here's my other favorite trick.

No, I was just going to say about that. Yeah. It was like, the natural thing to do is, I was up there and I had to bite my tongue to not say it, but I'm up there and I had to bite my tongue to not say it, but I'm up there. I'm getting no laughs having followed that woman. And my only thought is to say, geez, I'm not even getting as many laughs as the raped woman. But of course I can't even say that.

You should never say that out loud. And then I was promised by this guy that left that comment, we were promised money. We were promised a hundred dollars, left that comment, we were promised money, we were promised $100, me and this other guy were performing, and at the end of the night, the guys that were putting on the Lions Club function, we got the massive alarm bells by, got to the end of the night, and they go, oh, let's get those two guys back up on the stage and present them with a bottle of wine. That is in lieu of money.

And then they fingered you in the kitchen as well as part of your payment. And then we got to talk about it at the next meeting. Well, here's my new favourite trick. I'm obsessed with the reviews, but my new favourite thing is going onto the reviewers' profiles and seeing other things that they've reviewed. And last episode we mentioned we got a review from, the name that they left was, one of the Wayans brothers. I went onto their profile and the only other thing they've reviewed

is they've reviewed the Adam Sandler movie Grown Ups. Thought it would be better, two stars. That's one of your peers, man. That's not on. We're in good company then. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Have you got anything else before we bring our old mates in?

Very quickly, so if anyone hasn't listened, we did a cheeky little extra bonus ep last week when we got hold of Weird Al Yankovic. Friend of the show. New friend of the show. Now, I would have thought Weird Al is someone that everyone knows. Yes. Yes?

That's what I would have thought. That's fair, yeah. I went home and I told my girlfriend, oh, we got Weird Al Yankovic. And she was like, who's that? And I was like, are you serious? Like, I know you're a girl and everything, but it's not just a boys thing, is it? Afterwards, I was told that someone, a girl actually said to me, that's a bit of a boys thing.

Well, okay. No, it's interesting you mention, because I was at a dinner with my girlfriend and a bunch of her female friends on Friday night, and she was trying to sort of get me into the conversation, because her friends don't really know me, by going, oh, I talked to Weird Al today, and I'm in my head going, they're not going to know who Weird Al is. But they all knew, and they were impressed. Yeah, right. So, well, my girlfriend didn't know.

And so I'm like, are you serious? You don't know? And she's like, I don't even know who this Al Weirdo Jankovic is. Al Weirdo Jankovic.. Alwido Jankovic. Which, to be fair, is actually a much better stage name. Alwido Jankovic. It sounds like some sort of weird terrorist operation where they wouldn't have flown the planes into the buildings. They would have just parodied them.

Jankovic. Yeah. Alwido. Alwido. You can call me Alwido. Alwido. Oh, I love it. Alwido Jankovic. Let's get into it today because we-Wido. Al-Wido. Oh, I love it. Al-Wido Jenkovic.

Let's get into it today because we've got a bit of a different flavour. Two guests in the studio. Oh, doubles up. Two old mates. Two of the original old mates. How about I intro one and you intro the other? Okay. Okay.

Our first guest tonight, probably the original friend of the show, I think. I think possibly the first person we used the prefix friend of the show with. Did we? I think so. Okay, bang on. Friend of the show, Steel Saunders. Yay! Hi!

Second friend of the show this episode, another great old mate of ours, Pete Sharkey. Yay! All right. Now, these are two guys that, with myself, we all run Comedy at Spleen. If you're a fan of comedy in Melbourne, you'll know, I reckon, you know, I'm biased, I think it's the best night of comedy that you can go to in Melbourne on a Monday night. I think pretty much everyone who's been on the show has been there

or been on at some point. No, but I mean, yeah, yeah. Saffron hasn't been on, but he's been there drinking. I don't think it's Wacky Alex. Al Weedo Jankovic. He hasn't been there. He'll be there. Silly, silly Alan.

Wacky Freddy. And for previous listeners of the show, this is the legendary comedy explainer. It's been mentioned on the show a couple of times. Yep. A man shitting himself in the audience. Yeah, yeah. Just a few short weeks ago. What are the other highlights?

What are the highlights? A bloke pissing himself out the front two weeks ago. Yeah. I didn't know what that was about. Someone spitting on you when they asked for a gig. Oh, yeah. That's all recent history. Yeah.

Spitting in my mouth. They did. It was three globules came out at once. Evenly spread throughout my face. And also, just one globule went in the mouth. Yeah. And then the other two were just- Like nose, forehead. So a kind just one globule went in the mouth. Yeah. And then the other two were just- Like nose, forehead.

So a kind of straight line formation. Yeah, yeah. It was like a military maneuver. Right. Of jets. What else? What else are some of your favorite spleen memories that involve- Spittage.

Loss of control of bodily function. Yeah. What else has there been? I like Coinsy. What's Coinsy? The guy out the front that just asks for money every week. Oh, yeah. We've got good regular hobos at the front.

Yeah, you do. You really do. And one really angry hobo that hangs around at the front. In fact, I would never see the same hobos in the city until I started regularly going to Splane. Oh, no. That dude's an all-star. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Everyone knows Coinsy. Carlton Hart. Yes, Carlton Lewis Hart. Needs $2. Needs it now. Yeah. And then, you know that thing about hobos where they, you know, they sort of know their place and it's sort of like, they've got to advertise themselves by not being bad people

or whatever. But this guy, like usually people go, oh, you got $2? No. No worries. Have a good night, mate. And you go, okay, that's cool. We've all gotten out of that alive. This guy goes, you got two bucks?

No, sorry, mate. Just want two bucks. Why won't you give me two bucks? And you're like, I'm never going to give you money ever again. Yeah. Except he asks every time. Yeah. It's a horrible brand.

Was there not an instance recently, Pete Sharkey, where you went off at a hobo out the front of Spleen? Oh, it was the same guy. It's that guy. Well, I didn't let him ask the question. I put it on him before. He was near the bin and I went up aggressively and said, do you have two bucks? That's not aggressive the way you said it then.

How would you have said it? I said, have you got two bucks, mate? But I only did that because I had such a massive audience, which is all you guys and everybody else. And then he turned on me and I scurried. You chased him. No, you chased him. Yeah, but then he turned on me and I was like, I'm going out the back of the kitchen in a spleen, hanging out there for half an hour.

But it was good. I missed it because I was standing just in the bar and I heard a small scale riot of noise from outside and thought, oh, I've missed something amazing. Someone's decked someone or something's happened. The thing that frustrates me with Coinsy is I can't register into his memory. Like, I can't make that mark. Like, I've had the conversation with him like, remember how last week you told me to fuck off?

Well, now's my chance to say the same to you. And then the next week, got any coins, mate? And I'm like, oh. And you're a pretty memorable guy. You've got a pretty distinct look about you. But what would it take? Do you know what I mean? Like, imagine if you had a giant gal and just started...

Ground homo. Hobo day. Yeah, I like Pete's point. What would it take to be etched? Maybe you should just start wearing, like, a zany costume every... Like, just always dressed like a... No, he should be, like, the homeless memento. And he gets a tattoo of steel on his arm.

Every day, he's like, don't fuck with this guy. Yeah, say to him, I'll give you two bucks if I can also pay for you to get a tattoo of me head. Oh. That'd work. I mean, that's not good, but it is. That'd be awesome. If you want your money, you'd do it.

If you, oh no, I don't want to go down that. That sounds too intriguing. Yeah. No, go on, go down the road. That would be good. Like if you said to someone, I'll give you 50 bucks, no worries, but you also have to get a tattoo of me. That is some pretty good hobo jackass.

Yeah. Maybe Steve-O did that to himself once in the mirror when he was in his wild and crazy days. So what else happens at Splane? There's got to be more stories than that. I went there on Friday afternoon for a drink and there was no one in there, but this girl came rushing out and bawling her eyes out and michael mikey who uh bar managers the place uh i said what the hell happened to her she goes i don't know she came in bawling she had a shot of zambuca and then said where's the tootin carmen exhibition oh that's good so what is is Zambuka the drink of choice pre-Tutankhamun?

Just getting a bit of Egyptian courage. Now, I just want to talk quickly about Maribor. Okay. We're back on... So it's been in the news. We touched upon it last week. It was on the front page of the newspaper. I still haven't read the article.

Oh, haven't you? Was it the front page? Yeah, it was the front page. Wow. And then continued on front page of the newspaper. I still haven't read the article. Oh, haven't you? Was it the front page? Yeah, it was the front page. Wow. And then continued on page two, I think. All I've been done, all that's happened this week is people have come up to me going, oh, I know you're from Maryborough and I know you talk about it, but I didn't realise how really bad it was. Like, it's just stink town. It's not that bad. Like, it's ridiculous, but it's not that, well, maybe it's gotten

a lot worse. I don't know, but it's not, people really, like, even my girlfriend's like, oh, do people have food there or do people, is there a school there? I'm like, yeah, it's, I think it's fine. It's not biodome. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone just thinks it's like some cartoon town now. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm, I think we should, we've talked about this. We're going to do a road trip soon. Yes. And I'm going to introduce you to the real Maryborough. Yeah, I can't wait. And the good thing is, because it's called Maryborough, M-A-R-Y-B-O-R-O-U-G-H.

So anyone, it's that thing where out-of-towners come along and they say, oh, it's Maryborough. And you go, oh, you're such an out-of-towner. The locals, we just go, Maryboroughor, Maribor, Maribor. And you have started saying Maribor. Yes, because I say it so much now. Yeah, because I've talked to you so much about it. You're a local now. That's great.

That's good. Maribor. You get annoyed when all the international celebrities come into town and pronounce it wrong. Exactly. They come in and they say, quick, you know, we're doing the gig at the town hall tonight. Give us some juice about Maribor.

What have you got about Sunshine Johnson? And you've got to give them all the local info. Maribor? Yeah. Yeah, don't, yeah, don't come in and say, like, it's like, don't say Melbourne. Yeah. You've got to go Maribor. Yeah.

How do you reckon I'll fit in there? How do you reckon I'll get on in Maribor? Um, fine. Um, apparently it's really, like, even my mum and dad say, no, it's dodgy now. It's like. Really? Yeah, it's, I think there's some sort of deal where they... If you go through some sort of test of your hobo-ness,

like Coinsy will probably get sent there soon. Right. Like they're shipping hobos into Maribor. Oh, right. So it went to the dogs after you left is what you're saying. Yeah. Yes. So we need to go back and inject a bit of Chandler magic into it.

Well, maybe it's gotten even better for stories. Maybe that's the thing as well. If there's that into it. Well, maybe it's gotten even better for stories. Maybe that's the thing as well. If there's that many nutcases there, maybe it's actually better. One thing's for sure, that is going to be a very special Little Dum Dum Club. I introduced the list, our list, last week. Oh, yes. I'll give you a couple more names on the list. So I think last time we got up to half a dozen head.

Again, you can stop me. I'll give you some names. You can stop me if you, you can stop me. I'll give you some names. You can stop me if you're interested in the details. I'll give you some names. Terry Tallness. That was a guy. I think I can work that out. Tall bloke?

No. Midget. The town midget. Okay. All right. I'm guessing his name was not Terry. It was. It actually really was.

Terry Tallness. Samuel Hairylegs. That was a guy that had no hair on his legs. What are switcheroos in these notes? I'm locked into the pattern here. Oh, this guy's good. This is a guy called Bindust. Bindust.

Because one time he... One time. I don't know whether he was on a bike. Just the once, that's all it does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is all built on one time only. One time this guy, I don't know whether he was on his bike or in a car, he pulled up in front of a bunch of my mates and went, you're nothing but a pile of bindust.

And then took off again. So, hang on, are these people that you'd see once they do this thing and then you would see him again? Yeah, and then go, look at Bindust over there. There's old Bindust. There's a guy called Photo Wall. Because there was like three walls. There was Wall Chook Eggs because the story went that he got a chook egg

and put it up his bum. So he was Wall Chook Eggs, obviously. Now, hang on. He put one up his bum. Yeah he was Walt Chook Eggs, obviously. Now, hang on. He put one up his bum. Yeah, that was the story. Yet it's the name's Chook Eggs. Yeah, I will. So the plural, I'm just saying.

It may have been, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying. Yeah, I'll change the list. Walt Chook Eggs. Sort your shit out. Yeah. That's the bit you're pulling. Yeah.

So that's Walt Chook Eggs. It wasn't Walt Chook Eggs. It was Walt Foto. Because what Walt Foto used to do Was he would be on his bike And he was a bit mental And he'd get on his bike And he'd ride out to like

The surrounding districts Like little towns outside Mirabar To go to any wedding that happened He would ride his bike out there And then take photos Of every photo that happened Of every wedding that happened But we just found out

But like not commissioned He just It was just a hobby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He would just rock up at weddings. Like, you wouldn't know him. He'd just be standing in the background taking photos. But I recently found out that he had no film in his camera the whole time. That is very good.

That is very Mirabar. Yeah. That is very good That is very Mirabar Yeah And what the The camera had Big Fisher Price Written on the front of it Just a giant Toy camera

Yeah It was just a big squirt camera Yeah Big whoopee cushion Camera What else Let's see Oh there was three guys

There was three guys Called Wobzy Wodzy And Wopsy I don't I don't know why I don't know why Hangsy and Wopsy. I don't know why. I don't know why. Hang on.

What a tease. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why, but I did like their names. This has turned into unsolved mysteries. Yep. Did we, oh no, we talked about them. Let's see. Oh yeah, another guy that was like a bin dust.

Another guy's name was I should have spat on you. Because he once went up to one of us and went, I should have spat on you, and then wrote off. Yeah, we picked that up. Fair enough. I mean, that seems, to me, that's the laziest of all these nicknames. Why, that's good. Not even Spitzy. No.

His nickname is just a sentence that he said. That's great for people to have a whole sentence as a nickname. a sentence that he said. That's great for people to have a whole sentence as a nickname. Anyone can be Bobby or Mac or whatever to have like six words

in your name and punctuation. I should have spat on you. Yeah, I should have spat on you as his name. That's good. Spatsy, I reckon. Nah.

Spatula. Spatto. Years later, he'd hit you up for a gig. Yes. That's good. Again, callback. What if you opened a comedy room in Mary Bar? Sorry. What if you opened a comedy room in Mary Bar?

Sorry? What if you opened a comedy room in Mary Bar? It would be set fire upon by week two. No, it would never work. Week one, I tell you what, that'd go off. Week one would go off. Week one would be great. Yeah.

All the acts would definitely show up. There was a guy called Money Eater because he was a... He never ate money. No. You've got the Mirabar name algebra happening there. Yeah, yeah. No, he wrote a book. He was like an author and he was an English teacher in Mirabar,

but he wrote a book called The Money Eaters, which is pretty funny. But there was a guy that one of our mates would be in a classroom with him and he'd be teaching. And our mate would just like get out a $5 note and go, and they go, hey, to the teacher. And he'd turn around and he'd go, money eater. And like pretend to eat the $5 note in front of him. What a cartoon town. You know what I'm thinking?

In my head, I'm picturing us driving up to Merborough, and I'm picturing it like, you know in Who Framed Roger Rabbit where Eddie Valiant drives into Toontown? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he drives through the brick wall, and suddenly there's like crazy cartoon birds, and everything's pink. Yep.

I'm picturing it like that. Like Pun of the Apes, like the scarecrows at the city gates. Yeah, yeah. The forbidden zone. Something out of a fucked movie is what we agreed upon. And again, I'm sorry for that movie reference. Yeah, I don't understand. I don't understand.

Isn't it bad? Oh, I wouldn't. Oh, sorry, you go. No. Oh, train station. Because I saw a picture in the paper of it. The train station looks immaculate, like a palace. Yeah.

Which is. I don't know if I've said this before on the show, but that's Mark Twain went to Meribah and called it a train station with a town attached. Classic Twain. Because it's got this awesome big train station, but yeah, the rest of it... So what, now they leave the train station immaculate as a... No trains go through. They've just started up the train again now.

So the one good thing in the town doesn't work. Oh, I can't wait. But having spoken about the movie reference just before, I went to the movies last night. I went to the Assault to see The Shawshank Redemption. And what I found very funny was there was people kicked out of seeing The Shawshank Redemption for being too drunk. Really? Yeah.

People got kicked out. I've never seen that happen. Yeah, yeah. These people were like out of their mind. And then we were like, what's going on? And we're sort of yelling at it and going, shut up. And they kept going. It's like 8 o'clock at night. Eventually, the security or whatever, the ushers, came down and got them out and argued

with them for ages and then got them out. And when they started coming out, they couldn't walk properly. They had two slabs. They'd snuck slabs in. Yeah, they had slabs. And of all cinemas, to the Astor. Yeah. I wouldn't understand if it was like Hoyt's High Point or something.

But how's that? They're just going, we're up for a big night. Oh, I'm just going to get spastic and watch Morgan Freeman. Yeah. Dig that fucking hole, Tim Robbins. Yeah. Have you ever been drunk in a movie? Anyone?

Any of you guys? Yeah. Yeah? Really? I've done it twice and I will never do it again. I hated it. I found it such- You mean in a cinema?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. No, no, yeah, not- Yeah, in a cinema. Yeah. I found it- What movie? Chicago.

And Walking Tall with The Rock. I can probably understand why you got drunk to each one of those movies. Yeah, without going into it, because they're sort of long stories, they were both kind of by accident, like both sort of being at things before and having a few too many and then sitting there and going, oh, because it's so dark and, you know, like you're really way more aware of your senses and you're like, oh, it's so loud and there's so many colours and everything's so big. And you can't go for a wander or anything.

Yeah, exactly. It's sort of a bit boring. Exactly. Chicago sounds like a big night on the Picard freezes. Oh, man, it was just not good. Were you drinking with your mum? No. No, it was, yeah, it's kind of a long story.

Have you, you seem pro drunk at the movies. Oh yeah. Still. Not as much. I went and saw, I had a pretty much half a bottle of vodka in a Fanta. Yep. For the real Cancun. Oh.

And it was 5D. I was in the part, I was yelling at the food and I was like, fucker, yes! I'm trying to think if there's a similar number of letters in Shawshank Redemption as there are in real Cancun, because maybe that's what these guys last night at the Astor thought they were doing. What about you, Pete Sharky? You would have a drunk at the movie store.

You've got a drunk everywhere else store. Yeah, I got, well, this one is, I came out of a blackout in the cinemas. This was when I was in England. Oh, you woke up from a blackout. Yeah, I caught up with my old man's friends. In England? Like, it was Sunday afternoon, yeah. Hang on, did you start off in Australia?

Yeah. I caught a flight, and it was a cheap flight, my friends. And what do you know? But, no, it was in Birmingham, which is like, oh, anyway, it's was a cheap flight, my friends. And what do you know? But no, it was in Birmingham, which is like, oh, anyway, it's in the Midlands in the UK. I went out of suburb, had drinks, blacked out, and then woke up in the city cinema of Birmingham. And yeah, I had no idea how I got in there.

Obviously paid for a ticket, but the talented Mr. Ripley. And I've never seen it since, but I know there's this bit where someone's on a boat and someone's just got an oar, and I thought, ooh. I wonder what happened for the first 45 minutes. I was stoned to death. Had you bought anything? Had you bought jaffas or popcorn or anything? I'll be honest, as you were saying that-

It'd be funny if you woke up ushering, like you'd got a job in there and you're guiding someone to their seat with a torch. You wake up and you're on the set of a movie, like you're actually in it going, what the fuck? I'll be honest, as you were setting this up, I was like, it's going to be a good film. In my head I was thinking, please be Kangaroo Jack. Please be Kangaroo Jack. But Talented Mr Ripley is very good.

Oh, that's amazing. What else? What else? What else? Give us some more drunken escapades, Pete Sharkey, because you've got a few. Uh, yeah. Look, I mean, you know, and I'm not comfortable better. Because I, I'm the world's worst drinker. I can have two drinks.

Or best. Or best. Yeah. I mean, like, obviously there's a couple of guys here. It was here last Thursday when I had the drinks at Oxford. Like, man, Jesus Christ, what? Because I've, you know, when people get drunk. Are you drunk now?

Pretty much. Ah, yeah. I don't get that. A lot of people get that sliding into drunkness where they get that opportunity, like, I'm catching a cab. But I go from, like, being really good to off my face. There's no window of opportunity, just and yeah. To be fair, I did deprive you of disappearing that last Thursday

where you realised you were going to get really drunk and I said, no, you're sticking around. And then you got really drunk. But there was a couple because he did the original one where he'd just been, Sharky does this thing where he just disappears. And I'm just like, I think Sharky's about to do a ghostie. And then he walked out of the Oxford toilet to go outside, which is not near us.

And we're just like, ghostie! And he turns around and he's like, oh, just checking the fire exits are all safe. And because he's got that valve of just like emergency valve of like, it's time to go. Yeah. And we like blocked the valve. He's probably popping off to see a double feature or something.

Fuck off, it's a 10-30 session. Too fast, too furious as well, mate. I'm going to get there. See, because I've heard tell of this through Carl, but I don't think I've ever witnessed a classic Sharky night on the Terps. It sounds like the mask. It sounds like you just put that on and then you spin out of control. Exactly.

I'm applauding in my mind. Right on the money. So it. Because like even last week, because I woke up and I had no, like I had no idea what I did. So Carl's telling me the story as it goes and I'm like, oh, fuck. And I was hoping to God I didn't do anything wrong. And then he's like, oh, it's all good, but, you know,

I've got footage of you and Hungry Jacks. Oh, my fucking God. Like, you know, that's my sex tape. He's got my sex tape on his fucking phone. Like, pfft. It wasn't full sex. There was a lot of hugging, but there was no penetration. Yeah, what were you doing?

You were hugging strangers in Hungry Jacks, was the version I heard. Yeah, I've just got this little tape of people bumping him and then him chasing after them and then shaking his fists and hands at them and then coming back and hugging some guy in the line and then doing some ooga booga sign to this girl in the line as well, trying to scare her. Scary, talented Mr Ripley. But then you hug someone, then you were really happy with it.

So what would you say, what's the craziest thing you've done while drinking? Oh, goodness. What's your highlight? What's in your top three? Top three? Drink driving's a big one. No, I won't go there. Yeah, just the blackouts, just where you are.

Like I was... I had a blackout and this is back in Geelong where I grew up. Had a blackout and then come out of the blackout and I was in the back of a Chinese bakery, you know, like it was four in the morning. And there's these, you know, those big trolleys. Were they starting to prepare you? They were preparing me.

You know those big trolleys where they put all the rolls? And I'm like in between this big that where they put the rolls in to be. The oven is the word I'm trying to use. And I'm between the oven and this trolley. And I'm like, oh. What do you mean you're in between what you're standing there? I'm like standing between. We come out of a blackout standing out wedged in between bakery equipment.

Yeah. And then I'm like, I'm frightened because I don't know where I am. But by the same token, I'm quite, you know, I'm hungry. It's like, I'm looking at this roll like snatch one ago. It's like you're in a series of drunk quantum leap. Who am I supposed to help here? Who am I going to help in the kitchen? So yeah, one of many. So how do you get out of that? Like you help in the kitchen? So, yeah, one of many.

So how do you get out of that? Like, you're in the kitchen, do you just walk out and go, yep, I think the buns are done, and just walk out? I'm so blind that I just, you don't care. That's the thing, because you think I personally, when I'm that blind, you're just camouflaged by life. Like, nobody sees. I just fit into any scenario.

What about you, Steele? You had any? I stay awake. I love every minute of it. Yeah. You know when you go to a dress-up party and you're not that into it, but then you find an awesome outfit. You just like into it and you're just like,

I can't, this party's going to be awesome. Yeah. Well, I think it was 80s and I found like a muscle suit. The theme was the 80s or the party was in the 80s? Theme. Ah. Okay. Party was mid to.

I'd imagine every party in the 80s had the theme of 80s. So I found this muscle suit. Yeah. And so I went as Hulk Hogan and I made up like a Hulk Hogan, two Hulk Hogan t-shirts because I was so into the theme that I got Jackie to go up beforehand with an iPod, turn off all the music, put on Hulk Hogan's Real American. And I came in, did the Hulk Hogan entrance, ripped the shirt, hence why I made up two. And I talked no shit in that voice the entire night. Oh, my God.

Like, what are you going to do when you get me another drink? And then I was just so amped. Ironically, a lot of people would have wanted to fight you by the end of the night. And, like, I was just so into it. And I just got, like, there was a bottle of scotch getting passed around, so I was just necking it and then just doing Hulk Hogan quotes and stuff. And so we're in the cab on the way home and, um, we didn't get to our destination.

Um, we had to get out. We got out on Punt Road and I'm down this alley behind the 7-Eleven on Punt Road, just like heavy hospital level spewing. You felt a bit of a raw rumble in the guts. Oh, man. But still in the little shorts and the muscle suit and the top, spewing and my pants had fallen down, my ass was sticking out. Someone had rang an ambulance driving past.

Now, someone had rang an ambulance, like driving past. So Jackie, to counteract, rang one of my friends and said, you have to get here before this ambulance gets here because they're going to take him away. And you have to come here dressed as Mr. Fuji. But even like as they're dragging me into the car, I'm just like, what you going to do when I spew all over you? Like, I just revel in it. Like, I feel terrible. I want to die. But it's like, what you going to do when I spew all over you? I just revel in it.

I feel terrible. I want to die. But it's sort of exciting. Yeah, it's great. It's all you can do is just take it on and own it. Last time I saw you out in public, one of the last times I saw you out in public, we were quite drunk. We were at a music concert.

We were at the same music concert, the hip-hop group Odd Future. Yes. And you actually did, out in the street, you did one of the finest pieces of public performance I've ever seen. Do you want to set the scene? It's a good tale. What were you dressed up as for this? A hipster.

Rowdy, roddy hipster. Oh, Sharky just got it. I actually don't know what the public performance is. I know what was ridiculous about me out on the street. Yeah. Well, to set this up, you run a skate shop. Oh, yes. Yes.

Yeah. That's right, I run a skate shop. No, I run a sneaker store, actually, and I distribute clothing to other skate shops. And we're doing a deal with Odd Future to distribute their t-shirts in Australia. So after the gig, I had to run out the back to get some samples to sell to shops, right? And I actually did it, I had to run on stage while the bouncer wasn't looking. Did you really? Yeah, I felt like really like almost famous. Yeah.

And then I was sort of thinking, where else can I get into places? But I have not done that, except for Oz Stereo. That was pretty sweet. And so I had all these, like, 30 T-shirts, and I walked outside. Because I was there, and the guy gave them to you, and he said, sorry, we don't have a bag for them. So he's just handed you an armful of T-shirts, about 30 of them. Yeah.

And then you and I are walking down the stairs together into the street surrounded by people at the front of the gig and you're just there with a king's ransom of merch and i've never seen anyone look so panicked in my whole life just as you got under the street and then realized that you didn't really have an exit plan for the situation that you found yourself in and everyone's looking at you with 30 T-shirts from this band that we've just seen going, is this guy King Superfan number one or what? And you've just got this panic looked on your face going, oh, fuck, where's my girlfriend? And I'm crying with laughter at this stage.

And then you've done one of my all-time favorite moves. You've just bolted. You've just done a runner down the street, which is like such an awesome moment when you see someone who realizes that they've just run out of options and all they can do is just sprint down the street into the distance. I like to think that you ran all the way home. Just t-shirts. In my head, it's like a cartoon with t-shirts just flying everywhere.

That would look awesome. Like this guy is so desperate to do his laundry. Have a look at this guy. That would be a great moment to wake up from a blackout. Running. I'm running down the street holding booty t-shirts. It's all talent and Mr. Ripley merch. What's going on?

And you slowly slow down trying to have a look at, trying to find clues on the t-shirts as to who you might be. That'd be good. Actually, time did stand still. Like I sort of saw you and you laughing and then I sort of started looking at hipsters and they're looking back and then there's another one. And then I sort of realized that it was like 50 people just staring at me. Yeah.

And they'd just been to this, you know, anarchy driven hip hop gig. And I was like, this is not going to work out very well. You just looked like you you loved them so much. You just rocked up to the merch and said, give me one of everything. I want all the t-shirts. I want baby tees. It doesn't matter. I don't want anyone else to have them.

You're going to pelt me with fixed gears. Yeah. So I think you were saying earlier, Steel, that you had, we got off track a bit, you had a Maryborough story? Ah, yes. I've got a bombshell. Great. Oh, what? Here we go. You had a Maryborough story? Ah, yes. I've got a bombshell. Great. Oh, what?

Here we go. You know Leopard Head? No. S. Saunders, your friend. I know him. Of the show. Of the show. The original.

Yeah, claim. Appeared on the front cover of the Maryborough newspaper. Oh. Maryborough advertiser. I'll have you know. Really? What? Oh, I bet I know why.

The only reason anyone comes to Mirror Barrow, the 24-hour ride on your back, those stupid energy breakthrough thing. Is that what you're going to say about it? No? Is that not it? Is that even a thing that exists? That's the official term.

It's like you just put six words together off the top of your head. No, it's... Do you ever see those idiots ride on their back with those stupid solar-powered bikes or whatever? Have you ever seen that happen? What are you talking about? Am I making something up? Yeah. You're asking us have we heard of the thing that you dreamt about last night?

No, well, there's a thing where it's like a school thing where people come from Melbourne and you've got to, as a high school kid or whatever, you've got to build some sort of idiotic bike where you lie on your back and you go to Mirabar and you race for 24 hours. You'd go next to the Mirabar Olympic swimming pool. There'd be people doing laps of it with these upside down bikes, like 14-year-olds riding at 3 a.m. in the middle of the night with these retarded bikes. What are you saying? Upside down bikes? What are you talking about?

That's where you're inclined. You're on a 45 degree angle. Yes. And your legs are... Yeah, yeah, exactly. You're making it sound like you build a bike and then you carry it around on your back. Well, you would go faster.

Like, you might as well. It's so dumb. Like, they ride on the... You lie on your back. It's like you're in bed, but you're pedaling. And then you've got no chance if someone comes up behind you and runs you over. It's so stupid.

But again, that's what Marabara's known for, is classic. Classic Marabara. So you're not in that? So it wasn't that? No. Can you confirm this? But I was pictured on the cover with television's and music's very own Daryl Cotton. Oh, right.

And Katrina of Big Brother season, I don't know, fame. Oh, why? She was the one that had like the 60-year-old boyfriend. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Daddy issues. So, really? She took her daddy issues to Maryborough.

Right. I was there for like a, they had like a benefit for some suicide prevention. Some kid found out he got, his nickname was Leopard Head or something. The kid they all used to call Suicidesy finally came good on the comments. What was their suicide prevention plan? What, they brought kids from Melbourne to Maryborough and go, you could live here? No, no. We did a skateboard demo and Daryl Cotton did music and Katrina from Big Brother.

Did what? titillated. Really? Wow. Daryl Cotton and skateboarding together at last. The perfect soundtrack. He's in all the Tony Hawk games, isn't he? Just he's soundtracking it. Him and Marty Monster.

He's an unlockable character. I don't mean to bring facts into it, but Daryl Cotton did actually used to host the skateboard competition on the Early Bird Show. Oh, really? Yeah. So what year were you in Mirabar? What year was this? About eight years ago or something.

Really? Wow. At the skate park. Because I used to work at the Mirabar Advertiser. Yeah, you did the TV guide. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why in the caption, Daryl Cotton and this dickhead. So hang on, you've known Carl a while now and you've known where he's from.

Have you just been deliberately withholding this story should some sort of podcast scenario ever eventuate? I just forget stuff. Oh, okay. Fair enough. It's been a wild ride, Tommy. Well, it didn't involve you dressing up like Hulk Hogan, so why would it stick out? And the thing...

Maybe why he didn't bring it up was because it's a story involving him with Daryl Cotton and someone from Big Brother. It's really not on the tip of his tongue. Remember that time? The thing that I remember very fondly was the skateboard shop there that brought us out. Brought you out. Oh, they organised it, whatever. The promoters, yeah. you out. Oh, they organized it, whatever.

The promoters, yeah. Industry talk. Yeah, Michael Koppel. Had a deep fryer. Kandinsky skate, yeah. Had a deep fryer, and it was a skateboard shop cross takeaway food shop. Oh, really? So, free potato cakes.

Wow. So, they paid you in potato cakes? Yeah. It was charity. Right. So, like Carl being paid with wine, you got paid in potato cakes. Who's getting they paid you in potato cakes? Yeah. It was charity. Right. So like Carl being paid with wine you got paid in potato cakes. Who's getting the better deal here?

Trust me, I was way happier than Carl with the potato cakes. Sounds like you're going to say you're way happier than Carl has ever been. That would be an awesome topper for a terrific woman talking about child abuse. Now, some sweet ollies. Sharky, you've gone quiet.

Have you had a blackout over there? Coming out now. You're at the Dum Dum Club. What was your last memory? I woke up and I was in some little tree house. Guys, that brings us to the end of the program for another week. I want to thank Steel Saunders and Peter Sharkey for joining us. You guys got anything coming up that you want to plug?

Spleen every Monday. Spleen every Monday. Yep, yep. Well, thanks, guys, for listening. Leave us some more iTunes comments. Send us an email, littledumbdumbclub at gmail.com. We're on Twitter. We're on Facebook.

Yep, do all that stuff. Thanks very much again, Steel and Pete, and we'll see you guys soon. See you, mate. See you, mate. See you, mate. See you, mate.