The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 40 - Robyn Butler & Wayne Hope

Episode Date: July 5, 2011

The Ethnic Dollar, Books on Trampolines and Pigs in Fridges. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mates! Welcome once again to another edition of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting opposite me is my co-host, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. How are you going over there? Yeah, I'm good, thank you. How are you? I guess that's the main thing I want to know is how are you in your private life? Are you feeling okay? Yeah, I'm alright. I've had some concerned texts from you over the weekend.

Concerned texts? Well, some cyberspace grief. It seems like you're not in a great headspace, Tommy. Are you okay? I'll be all right. I'll be fine. You'll be all right? Look, I'm dealing as best I can.

Right. Yeah. You had a bad gig on Friday? No, I had an all right gig on Friday. Okay. I had a fine gig. That's just what the punters told me. Oh, no.

Oh, met some friends of the show. Oh, really? No, it was fine. No, it was fine. I had a fine gig. That's just what the punters told me. Oh, no. Oh, met some friends of the show. Oh, really? No, it was fine. No, it was fine. I'm alright. I'm alright. Thanks for your concern, though. No problem.

Probably could have, if you were really that concerned, you could have brought it up in private, but that's alright. I guess I've started this by putting it on Twitter, so that's fair enough. Yep. We should mention publicity photos. We got them done a couple weeks ago. Thanks to everyone who's commented on them on our Facebook page. I do feel it was slightly an unfortunate bit of timing that we put the photos up like a

day after gay marriage was made legal in New York. I feel like we really gave everyone a nice sort of juicy softball with the comments that we've been getting. Well, when you put up a picture of two grown men, well, one, in a tunnel on top of each other, yeah, it's not great timing, is it? No. You've written half the joke from it. That's it.

That's it. I think that one of those photos has more comments than anything I've ever seen on Facebook. It just keeps going. It will not end. It's become what do they call it? A meme? We've become a meme. Is that what it is?

I believe so, yes. Yeah, yeah. Where people just add an ad to it? Yeah. And people are Photoshopping us into different things. Well, that's what a meme is, isn't it?? I believe so, yes. Yeah, yeah, where people just add an ad to it? Yeah. And people are photoshopping us into different things. Well, that's what a meme is, isn't it? Well, yes. Okay.

Okay, good. You're the Gen Y. You should know this stuff. I'm, like, guessing at what a meme is. Look, you're not helping my headspace, all right? It's going to be a very bitter tweet after this recording. Let's get into it. Our guests today are the creators, writers, and stars of the ABC series, The Librarians.

Please welcome into the Little Dum Dum Club, Robin Butler and Wayne Hope. Thank you very much. Welcome aboard, guys. Very nice to be here. I feel awkward. I brought towels as a gift. I just read the, I got the signals wrong. Don't feel awkward about that.

That's a good thing to bring as a gift. Well, it's a good gift. No one else. You just might take them home separately. That could have cleaned up after the photo shoot that we had in the tunnel. Are they monograms? Did you go to the effort of getting the monograms? Well, I did his and hers because that's what we saw. Really, you have to fight that out for yourself.

You've listened to the voices and you've made a presumption. Now, did I get the order right? Is there a certain order that you guys prefer to be? What did you say first? I didn't even notice. I said Robin and then Wayne. Oh, I prefer it Robin and Wayne. Well, but it's not.

It's generally Wayne, Hope and Robin. People often say Wayne, Hope and Robin, which irritates me because it should be in alphabetical order. I wrote it on my laptop on the way here and I naturally went Robin and Wayne. Is that wrong? You're my new best friend. I thought that's phonetically the way it would go. You would roll it out that way? Interesting.

I'm going to spin my body right around Tommy. Now, interesting, you've pronounced your name wrong. Have I? Because we've been referring to you for the past two years because listeners might know that Tommy did appear in the second series of The Librarians and Robin very confidently and I rarely question her pronunciation, said Tommy DeSalo. That's because the casting person at the ABC said...

There's been no mention of a casting person up until now. I'm about to drop a massive bombshell on you. Carl's face has lit up like a pinball machine at this news. I need to speak out. The listeners of the show are waiting with bated breath for this bombshell to drop. DeSalo or DeSalo is not his real name. That is a stage name.

That is his little ethnic stage name to try and get host dateline on SBS or whatever it is. He's gone for an SBS angle. Yes. Okay. Guys, I'm right here, by the way. You realise that I'm sitting right here. He's trying to cut Anton Enos' lunch. He's trying to get in there on the ethnic dollar.

Tommy Smith, ladies and gentlemen. Tommy Allsop is his name. What did you just say? Tommy Allsop? That's a comedy name. Carl, that just said... There you go, little bugger. You've got a funny name.

It sounds... No, it's Tommy Allsop. Allsop's a fine name. That sounds... I went to school with a Melinda Allsop, and we're not going to go into that. Did you? Not like you did then. Oh, dang.

Yeah. Two L's or one L? I really wasn't focusing on this one. Melinda. She had two something. What age did you change? Take me back. Take me back to...

Oh, my God. It's not legal or anything. It's just I'd started doing gigs when I was 16, and I thought it'd be a bit of a laugh to use a different name. That's great. Now, here we are. Had I known that I would end up doing a podcast one day with Carl Chandler, I would have stuck with it.

And have it brought up every two episodes. Yeah. What you read out just then, that sounded like a pre-prepared statement. It wasn't. When you mentioned you got your laptop out, it sounded like you were just writing that in the vain hope that it might come out. No, no. I've just got a passion for talking about your name.

Vain hope. Did you say vain hope. No, no. I've just got a passion for talking about your name. Vain hope. Did you say vain hope? Yeah. No, no, no. Did you, so you decided going to a gig or did, like how much thought went into it? Was it when the MC said, who am I saying is coming on? It was, I think it was like the day before or something. I just thought, what about this?

Now, what did mum or dad, if they were around, did you tell them? They both died the day before. No, they are. You saw that fear in my eye as I gently tried to give you the option. Yeah. But. No, they sort of, I don't know, they didn't come to my first few gigs. So you hid it.

I hid it. So until they, unless they listen to this. They're not going to listen to this. No, they know now obviously. But why the ethnic angle? I guess that's why I've wanted to know the whole time. Yeah, I've mentioned this. I've talked about this. Not to us. We weren't here. Okay, sure. I just remembered some vague story where Dad had told me that Alsop was derived from a different name, like, you know, through however long ago, centuries ago.

Oh, like it's meaning, or just that it came from... Or like it became, yeah, the name changed over time. Do you know what I mean? Like a Chinese whisper. Something like that, yeah. It was Dasalo, but everyone eventually got mixed up and it became Allsop. I don't believe your story. But it wasn't Dasalo, it was I remembered it wrong. I remembered it in my head as Daslo, and so I put that down. Is it like the opposite of the Chinese people that moved to our country,

open a fish and chip shop and call themselves Steve? Is that what this is? Or the Chinese kids that lived next door to me when I was growing up, Victor and Sherman. Victor! Sherman! Come inside! That wasn't racist.

It's exactly like that. They've named one of them Sherman just in case they weren't getting bashed enough. That's good. Tommy, I have a bombshell for you. Okay. We're bombshelling about names. Your real name is Wayne. I am Wayne Hope.

I am Wayne Hope. Can I do this? You're Robin Alsop. His real name's not Hope. Oh. Here we go. Well, it is legally. It is legally.

Unlike you, I've gone the legal option. Also at around 12. As he did last year. No, about around 16 also. I changed my name to Hope. It wasn't my original. My original name was an SBS name. How big a fool was I when I was trying to get our first show up at SBS?

And they were going, you don't have the roots. I said, yes, I am. My real name's Van Boxtel. Wow. He's a Dutchie. Now, look at him. That makes sense. Yeah, now I'm looking at you with new eyes now.

This started off on a big Dutch face. See, we should have switched. Seats now? No, no, like names. Like we should have, I've gone the more ethnic and you've gone the less ethnic. So you could have been Wayne Alsop. Yeah, it's like face off with ethnicity. Well, because it's funny what you say about SBS because I think I've talked about this on the show.

I've had the inverse problem where during the comedy festival one year, I had the publicists call me up and say, hey, SBS want to do an interview with you. And I was like thinking, great, this would be a great promo. And they're going, yeah, it's for the Italian show that's on because of your name. And I was like, oh, I'm not. Which is why we were originally, what we came from is to hit the, the Sarlow was where we were coming from originally. Sure, sure.

It's a, it's a fun, it's funny at gigs when people get all weird about having mispronounced. I'm like, it's a, it's a fake thing. It doesn't really matter. It's like mispronouncing Narnia. Does it really matter? Well, how do you really pronounce Narnia? Okay, sure. Narnia.

Is that really how you do that? No, I don't know. Oh, I see. You're just using an EG. No, it is funny. It is funny. It was an EG. Yeah, because they're mispronouncing something that doesn't really exist.

They're insulting your fictional forebearers. Am I a guest on your guys' show? Because this has switched up very early on. Well, all right. You guys have said about you've worked with Tommy before on Librarians. He was good to work with, was he? Yeah, look, the shoot went three weeks longer than intended. But it was fine.

Just to get his name right on the credits. No, he was gorgeous. It was my scene with him. I spent quite a few hours. It was fun. Sitting opposite you. Yeah, it was really great. He's named right on the credits, obviously. No, he was gorgeous. It was my scene with him. I spent quite a few hours. It was fun. Sitting opposite you. Yeah, it was really great. He's lovely.

Not great enough to write my character into season three, but that's... Oh, this has all been a trap. Gotcha. Well, it's nice that you can work. It's a bit of a running thing on the show that I go to auditions and fail miserably and have really horrible experiences. I'd just like to thank you for never even auditioning me so I wouldn't have those tears and those horrible nights.

We try and do that with a lot of actors around the country. Yeah, we just try and avoid the pain. Yeah, yeah. So what's your most recent? I just go to commercials and don't learn my lines properly and then fail really badly. Do you try and learn them and you freeze a little? I do. Yeah, a bit. There's a bit of both. There's a bit of me learning on the day and then fail really badly. Do you try and learn them and you freeze a little? I do. Yeah, a bit.

There's a bit of both. There's a bit of me learning on the day and then going in. Okay, so what techniques are you doing for the learning? Nothing. Yeah. And that hasn't worked yet. Just scratched the surface. The ancient art of nothing.

Well, I was taught two, three weeks ago on the show by Denise Scott to look the audition people, I've learned that term, in the eye. Yeah, is that what you call yourself? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, cool. It's on our business card. I've learned that much, to look people in the eye when I'm doing my lines now, because before I was watching TV and stuff like that, and that didn't work.

So that's up my sleeve next time I go. That's hard, because you're a comic. Yeah. You've come up through the ranks as a comic. Yes. You haven't done anything else. I've done nothing else. See, that's very hard.

Most of us, we came the other way. Have I just insulted someone? It was like Terminator. He just appeared naked behind a comedy club one night. Give me your jokes. That's the first time I've ever done an Alan Schwarzenegger voice. Finally, we've got an Arnie impersonation on the show. That'll go on the ad.

It's very hard when you've just been a comedian to know how to do that. Exactly. We've come up as actors, so we actually do know how to sort of be in, well, it's always hideous, but we kind of know what's expected and how to be in a room, and we've also been doing it for years. Before you did stand-up, you were a graphic designer. Yes. So maybe you just need to get the audition people to dress up like Photoshop in some way That's one of the worst things you've ever said

Is it really? That's impossible How do you get them to dress up as Photoshop? Have you even thought that through? The only acting I've ever had up my sleeve was in high school When I got kicked out of a play for not turning up So I didn't even See, there's a theme coming I don't learn the lines, I've ever had up my sleeve was in high school when I got kicked out of a play for not turning up. So I didn't even... Hang on.

See, there's a theme coming. Yeah. I don't learn the lines. I don't turn up. How much do you want to get into this industry? I think your old friend self-sabotage is playing a big part. Yeah, I think... No, well, I explain it this way, I guess.

People keep asking me to do it and I don't want to let them down or offend them by saying no. So I turn up. But I don't want to insult them. Is it the same with heroin when you walk along with drugs, illicit drugs? I don't want to offend you. I haven't been offered. Maybe that's why I'm still here.

I haven't been lucky enough to be offered that. But I'd just like it all to magically happen. That would be good, wouldn't it? We love working with comedians. Comedians are fantastic. We try. And that's why we use – sorry. Sorry. No, you go on. I was just going to say because they're so comedians. Comedians are fantastic. We try, and that's why we use... Sorry. Sorry, no, you go on. I was just going to say, because they're so instinctive.

Comedians are really instinctive. That instinct they have on stage, and they see things funnily, you know, that they can twist things and be surprising, is actually what makes a really good actor, is to be that instinctive. But it's hard sometimes for comics to make that transition, to

learn their bloody lines. Well, I think this is it. I can handle going there and saying this and whatever, but I can't handle that thing where you turn up and they go, right, you're from Denmark and go. And I go, I'm not from there. I'm not going to white here. I don't like the pretending so much. I like the saying things, but the pretending, the espionage. I just like being honest, I guess.

I'm too honest. That's my fault. That does not make a good actor. You're failing this audition so far because all you're doing is telling them how much you don't like the thing that you're asking them to help you with. Yeah, but ads are hard. I remember, you know, I've done ads. I can't stand. And I remember having to go in, I think it was for Ford or something like that and uh and

having to be one of those mums who I don't know it was something about the kids got a dirty t-shirt or something and this is this is kind of you know I think I was like 28 and I was still you know I was auditioning for it to be the mother you know that the mother of 13 year old they love young mums and and this kid was meant to have a dirty T-shirt and I was meant to do one of those ingratiating smiles where, oh, kids, what are you going to do? It's a little shithead but, you know, oh, what are you going to do? And I actually had to stop and go, I'm sorry, I just can't do this.

Really? I really did. It's the only time ever but it was so ridiculous and I actually just thought, what am I even doing here? But that wasn't about acting. That was just about ads. They're ridiculous because you are asked to do things so, you know, things that are so unnatural that, and ads have been scribbled down

in a nanosecond and sold for $150,000 to some poor bastard of a company, and then they turn up and they realise once they ask you to say the words out loud that the actual idea is shit-ass. And it's only when you start saying it out loud that everyone awkwardly sits in a room going, this is awful and we are charging people hundreds of thousands of dollars. And so they put it back on you to go, okay, now do one and just be mad. And that's where it comes down to you. And your career goes sailing down the bloody toilet because you suddenly have to turn yourself

into an asshole in order to sell something that feels totally unnatural. And I got years back, did a whole string of ads, but got to the point where I'd been asked so many times to go, okay, that's a good take. No, but also I should preface this by saying that Wayne gets the job in the first place because he makes the room laugh or, you know, if they're not asking you to do it, you know, as Wayne, you know, they'll get him into the room to audition for it and he's delivery's so dry and deadpan and it makes everybody laugh.

They go, that's great. And then they panic that deadpan is dry. Because on the day when they shoot it, they don't want the deadpan underplayed performance because they get nervous. And the client's sitting there having lobster that they've had in this enormous catering van. And there's 18 people gathered around a monitor. And after they hear it the 50th time, it's no longer funny.

The lifespan's sucked out of it. So you get the director coming up, yeah, good one, mate. We'll go again. And this time, just be mad. Just go nuts. Come on. Come on, Hopi. Pull a firecr and this time just be mad. Just go nuts. Come on, come on, Hopi, pull a firecracker out your ass. And so I refused. Mad is such a strange stage direction, because that's so all-encompassing, do you know what

I mean? Exactly. That could mean crazy, or that could mean that you literally choke the director to death. That's right. Or could you do a parody of Police Academy or something? Yeah. I'm like, there's no greater. Or could you do a parody of Police Academy? Yeah.

So I adopted the refusal method where I just went, just said to this guy, this director one day, I said, no, I can't. He said, a big bad. I said, I won't. I won't do that. We'll just go for one more. Pretty mad of me, hey? Exactly.

I'm walking out of my job. I'm crazy. And just said, no, I didn't do that in the audition and it's not the contract and I'm not going to do it now. And then we just talk about this a lot. The secret of the awkward pause is basically a stare down. Who can last the longest in an awkward moment is the key to success. I'm prepared to share on the show.

Yeah, most people can't do it. Most people can't stay the distance. Most people fold because they get very nervous. There's a confrontation. None of us like confrontation. But if you are prepared to sit there long enough, I guarantee nine out of ten will fall in your favour because people go, oh, I can't cope.

And when the pressure's on, and it was great. From that moment on, I went, oh, bugger this. I'm not bloody selling your crappy idea. Yeah, it's not their career on screen. Like you say, do one more at the end. It's like the old photo shoot when you're doing a publicity shot or whatever and you do it straight. It's getting back to the two of you in the tunnel.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, that was like the end shot. It's like, yeah, just do a homoerotic shot up a tunnel just to finish out the roll of film. And then that's the one they go with. One more with clothes off, and here we go. Yeah. Oh, that's just for the Christmas card. Don't worry about that one.

Oh, front page of the MX, oh, no. We always laugh with photo shoots that it's the bigger the publication, the better the photographer is. The less fuss, I should say, the photographer wants to make. As you get down to the local paper, it's always, I swear to God, we had a guy come to our house because it was the local paper and we went, okay, we'll just cordon off a piece of the house that we can use

for the shoot. He comes in, yeah, the kids had a trampoline out the back. Let's load up the trampoline with about 200 books and you jump up and down on it. Bounce on it. This is for the librarians, sorry. Oh, right, of course. The librarians.

I went, no, we're not going to do that. And then we've got this really massive bookshelf in our lounge room and he's looking at that. Let's get all the books off the shelf and bury you in them. Let's wreck all your shit and then I'll think this through later, the second part. Let's get mad. Let's go burn down a library.

Just smile in the foreground. But it takes a lot of balls. You know, you've got to have big kahunis just to stand there and go, nah, I'm not going to do that. That's a pox idea. I'm not doing it. I think that comes with the more things that you have under your belt, though, because when you're starting out,

you don't want to say no to anything because you think you might never work it. You should see how many trampoline shots I've actually got. Full on paper, of course. I mean, it looks ridiculous. You guys having written these series and you're being art directed by someone who's just come from the Maribyrnong Flower Show going, yeah, well, throw the fuchsias at some two-year-old. Well, that worked good.

All right. Well, now let's wreck this guy's study. Yeah. It's true. And it's people's idea of comedy, too. They think, that's funny. Yeah. You know, people's idea of comedy is, you know.

I'm in the process of, my parents are moving house at the moment, so I'm in the process of cleaning out a whole bunch of shit from their place of mind. And I found a couple of DVDs that I was in, these educational training videos that I acted in. What? Yeah. I mean, you know, it was work and it was fun. So one of them was called an aging workforce. And you were in it. Yeah.

Well, here's the thing, because the point of it was old people are good at their jobs as well. And I was this kind of like young whippersnapper in the office, like talking to this like older dude going, you don't know what you're on about, grandpa. And then some old woman comes in. Were you talking to like an 18 year old? Some old woman comes in and is like, I'm going for a job here. And then I'm like turning to him and going, what's she going to do?

She's bloody nearly dead, isn't she? Like just this real. And yeah, so that was fun and a bit weird. Oh, man, can we get this online? I think so. I think it's online somewhere. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah.

And then there's another one where it's, what is it? It's like safety in nursing or something. So there's a thing where, I don't know, like we're in a hospital or whatever and one of the nurses is going to give an injection or something. So there's a thing where, I don't know, one of like we're in, we're in a hospital or whatever, and there's one of the nurses is going to give an injection or something that I don't think she should give. And I'm going, you can put your career on the line if you want, but I'm not going to be a part of it. I had to get all serious and dramatic. It was, it was good. But the weird thing about that one, that, that, that, that first one, the aging one is like, you know, that was, I did that. Yeah. I did that and then a couple of years later I did the nursing thing, but the thing I didn't

realize about the nursing thing is that they show it in unis, and I've got a lot of friends who in the last year have reached the stage of their course where they watch it. So I did this a few years ago and forgot all about it, and then last year just started getting all these texts going, oh, doesn't want to give her the injection, does he? I'm like, what the hell is this about? So it's like suddenly my friends have all caught up, and now they're all... But that would be cool, because now you could go there and do stand-up give her the injection, does he? I'm like, what the hell is this about? So it's like suddenly my friends have all caught up and now they're all. But that would be cool because now you could go there and do stand-up gigs at the uni and they could put a big poster up starring Tommy Daslow,

injection dude. That would be sweet. As seen in the fourth year training. But they're fun and I guess it's maybe a similar thing with commercials where it's like they're fun in the way that everyone doing them is under no, no one's got any delusions about what we're doing. Do you know what I mean? Everyone's just going, look.

Oh, in commercials they do. I think that's quite different. I think commercials there's a lot of delusions about. Oh, really? Well, okay. If you've ever made an ad, you'll find that there's like 10 guys in suits or 10 guys and girls in suits, corporate people, just everybody with their, you know, anxious faces,

two cents worth ready to be put in at any moment. Yeah, yeah, no, it's very – right, okay. Stakes are so high. Like I was saying before, they're spending an absurd amount of money. Yeah, I guess so. Talk someone into going, give us a million bucks and we'll flog some muffins for you. It's going to work.

Don't worry about it. Training videos are a lot more fun because they're on the more low rent end of things. No one's thinking that they're high art or anything. Everyone's just going, we've got to do it like this. No one's like, maybe try and play around with it and give it a bit. It's like, just sell it as fine as it needs to be. But it was because I just found it so, I never wanted to watch them and then found them cleaning out mum and dad's and was just watching them going, oh, dear.

I did a hilarious one, I remember, years ago when it was an assertiveness training video. And you walked off. But it was largely improvised. So I think it was the University of New South Wales or something. I don't know. I can't remember. That's awesome.

It's a training video and it's improvised. So it's like you're deciding what people should learn. That's right. It was exactly like that. And they sort of just gave us a scenario. You're in a shoe store and you're the assistant and this is the manager but the manager's bullying you so you're going to have to work out a way how to –

you be assertive to the manager. I'm the assistant. I'm yeah sure sure and funnily enough the actor that I was doing this with kind of had a bit of an anger problem herself so she was the manager and she came in and she just you stupid bitch where did you put those stupid bloody shoes I said a size nine she started yelling at me and it was at that moment I went to answer and I thought, I don't know how to be assertive. I've never been assertive in my life. I need to watch this video. I had to stop and go, because all I did was kind of Catholic, polite.

You apologised and ran out of the room. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll get the size nine. No, no, no, hang on. You wrecked a lot of people's lives with that take when that went to air. A lot of New South Wales uni students are very, very distressed. Turned up blobs of jelly now.

Have you guys had any acting stuff you've done in your past that, you know, with YouTube and stuff that has kind of resurfaced that you would prefer not to have been out there? I don't think so. I don't think so. No, I think there's an ABC show that I, one of the first TV gigs I did that I saw came up on YouTube. Secret Valley? Bellbird? I wish Secret Valley? Bellbird?

I wish I was in Bellbird. No, it was the Glenn Nicholas show, and it was the first gig I did at the ABC, and that got uploaded, and I did some fairly, you know, just it was fine, it was fine, but I was, I looked, I think I watched 10 seconds of it, of myself being a bit of an idiot and thought, I can't go any further with that.

But nothing – no, all the ads I think were okay. I really haven't gone searching for much, but – You guys are coming off pretty arrogant. Everything we've done is pretty much gold, so what about you guys? No, it wasn't. My problem is the opposite. I'm trying to get people to watch the stuff that I've made. It's not a matter of are you embarrassed by it.

I don't care if I'm embarrassed by it. I want people to watch it. I do find that hilarious, though, with YouTube being as big as it is now and ads that famous actors have done in the 70s or whatever will show up online now and you think, who's the guy that's been holding onto that videotape? Exactly. Waiting.

Who's been sitting on it? And like old cartoons and stuff that get put up there. It's like, who's just been sitting on these? But who does all that stuff? You know, people upload my Wikipedia page and I just want to go. That would be Tony Martin, wouldn't it? Tony Martin, that's IMDB. Martin, that's IMDb. Now, that's a different thing.

So that's confirmed. Is that confirmed? Is that legit? Is that confirmed? Does it work for IMDb? Oh, I don't know if that's. It's going all cloak and dagger. Let's give him one of those awkward pauses.

Okay, you don't have to do a rant. Oh, that works too. I just felt like contemplated jumping out the window. No, but it is that thing. So many people have an immense focus, I think. Oh, good dodge. And an enormous amount of time. Do you have any like website, any fan forums where people go on every week after the episode?

Have you got any tragics that follow every... Look, we don't... We have Facebook. We love... Look, I love our tragic fans anyway. Yeah, we get fantastic feedback. But we don't generally go online and search in the moment because it's too dangerous. It's too...

I think most... This would be common with a lot of performers is that, you know, there's that thing, you're going to focus on the negative over the positive every time and it's not healthy. It's the classic one guy in the room not laughing at you. You're just going to focus. You guys aren't on Twitter, are you? We are. Oh, you are? Oh, that's right, you are too. But we tweet negligently I think. We tweet, you know, irregularly. But we use it as a tool to try and just publicise stuff

that we're making online actually. So it's quite good. So we've been making it. We started this year because we thought we're writing this year for basically the whole year. And we got about four or five months into that and went, you know, geez, it would be lovely to shoot something because we're missing that. Like a person.

Writing can make you feel like that. So you loaded up the trampoline with books. Yeah. You were being more mad. And if you go to jumptramp.com. And so we wanted to do something and Robyn had this great radio character that she had up her sleeve called Arabella Twart and we thought it would be great to write, shoot, cut something in a single day

and so have it as a treat every couple of weeks to go you know just get the office and make it for no reason and so that was the reason to get a Twitter account to go we've here this is making around and here's something. And it's been delightful. But people can't work out, people keep coming up to me and saying, why are you doing it? I'm just... Why are you doing it?

Who's paying you to do that? How are you monetising that? How did you get that? That thing that you start up yourself, how did you get that? Do you get a lot of showbiz folks saying that? It infuses people. The funniest thing was that Andrew Denton put it in his weekly newsletter. He rang up and said he'd seen it and he said,

do you mind if we put it in our weekly newsletter from Zapruder? And we went, no, that'd be great. So he put it out. And because it's about this right-wing radio commentator who's a pain in the neck, Tim Blair from the Daily Telegraph got hold of it and started trashing Andrew Denton's production company for making this. I mean, you know, two clicks of the mouse button would have proven otherwise, but, you know, that's journalism.

And then Tony Martin has done one of Arabella's listeners as a character on it, and so Tony Martin starts getting harassed. Oh, how many plasmas does that buy him and how big's his house? It's so... ABC's bloody money going down the toilet again. How much does this fucking production cost? And, you know, we never answer, but there was just a barrage of comments. And thank you, Tim Blair, because 8,000 visits later, you know,

when it was, you know, normally we'd get a few hundred people that would watch it and we'd be delighted with that, but suddenly there were 8,000 people and you got every person from North Queensland leaving a horrific comment up on there. And we wanted to, but we didn't say that, you know. We shot it on an iPod and, yeah, we shot it using the camera on an iPod. I like how you held up your iPod just then to show me in case I didn't see it.

Tommy, this is a glasses case. Ooh. Using the camera on an iPod. I like how you held up your iPod just then to show me in case I've never seen one before. It's an iPod. This is a glasses case. Ooh. Coffee. Oh, a coffee. Oh, that's Carl Chandler. Oh.

Yeah, but so the show, we don't read comments and that stuff because, you know, people are assholes. Do you? What do you? No, I don't read. We got a lot of comments on our show just basically about Daslo's voice. Yeah. So that's it. Yeah, we got a lot of weird iTunes reviews because just basically about Dassler's voice. Yeah. So that's it. Yeah, we got a lot of weird iTunes reviews because we started reading them out.

So it's just become an easy way to get read out on the show. They insult us, so then we read it out on the show, and then more people insult us. So it's just a... Yeah, it's a lovely self-explanatory. It's a retarded snake eating its own tail. But then we thought iTunes probably isn't the place for this. We set up an email address, and people refused to use it.

People still just use iTunes as their first port of call to get in touch with this. It's because it's becoming public as normal now. I suppose so, yeah. Although I did get an interesting email during the week on the dum-dum. Oh, here we go. Okay. From Jeremy Burge. Subject, Brad's fridge and pigs.

And this is addressed to Carl. Carl. Oh, right. Had two calls yesterday on my mobile for a Brad from Maryborough. I'm not Brad and I'm not from Maryborough. At least you fill one of the criteria. So I was hoping you could take care of them. I'm not Brad.

Oh, hang on. I'm from Maryborough. Yeah, right. First call was about a fridge and an hour later a call about his pigs. You missed a call from 0407 who said, Brad, could you ring Alan up in Maryborough, please, about your fridge? Thank you. Brad or Alan?

Bro, could you ring Alan in Maryborough police regarding your pigs? They're out. Of the fridge? Thanks, Jeremy. Good. See, why aren't they just putting that up on iTunes? Why go to an email address for that? That is great reading

Why waste our time and Gmail's time clogging that up? I would happily trawl through iTunes to read content like that So, yeah, Carl, if you can take care of that somehow Another thing our show has become known for In recent weeks, we had John Safran on here And he said some things about ABC personalities and friends of the show, Tom Ballard and Lawrence Lung, which then got us a bit of airtime on Triple J through Tom Ballard.

So that's kind of our new theory, is just if we rag people out on this show, maybe we'll get a bit more publicity. So you guys being ABC personalities, maybe you could help us start a feud. Is there anyone you want to particularly... Do you hate James Valentine from The Afternoon Show? That's going back. I'd like to go Compass. Compass.

Finally, someone's had the guts. Geraldine Duke. You want to know something? She's had it good for too long. Too good for too long. She ain't no friend of Jesus, let me tell you. I want to start a beef with Q&A. I've never watched it.

I just don't like it clogging up my Twitter feed every Monday night because everyone else is watching it. I know. They need to get rid of that function. Because that's the only reason that show exists, isn't it? For people just to go, oh, that guy's a bit bald, Q&A. Is that it? Is that what happens?

Something like that. I didn't realise it was a show. I just put it on the end of every tweet because I think you have to. You don't have to. Yeah, Twitter is a constant question and answer session. That's MS-DOS code that you have to put in. I met the guy on Q&A, the behind-the-scenes guy, a producer, who is in charge of the Twitter feed going to air.

And he said it's the most anxious job he's ever had in production. And he said it's the most anxious job he's ever had in production. They get something like 20,000 tweets per minute coming in. I think I do on my Twitter feed too. I must be following them all. And he has to decide what goes to air and make really fast decisions. And they get it wrong a couple of times. Well, that's why they say some questionable ones. Some dodgy ones, yeah.

Because it's always a bit strange. You find when the joke ones come up. I don't know. I've never watched it. I'm always out on Monday nights so I'm looking at it without context. If I am watching it. But I'm looking at it without context. Do you know what I mean?

Like if you're not watching it, someone will just go, oh, yeah, good one, mate. And you're like, what? Yeah. Way to sit at the panel, dickhead. Oh, he's done it again. Oh, look, and strident is always annoying. You know, strident, you know, responses, tweets.

I don't know. Oh, I thought you meant strident as in like that's a username on Twitter that you particularly hate. Oh, I don't like strident. At strident, go to hell. At strident, he's like, no, you Twitter that you particularly hate. Oh, I don't like strident. That's strident. That's strident. Go to hell. We're not unfollowing him. He's great. You know when people are watching something political and, you know,

you do it yourself. You go, oh, what an asshole. You know, you get like that. But I'm not necessarily going to tell the world that. But it's dangerous sometimes. You really should have a filter. Your thumb should have a filter. It goes, not funny, not interesting. No, just don't do it.

Just a time delay. Maybe that would be a good little application that you could buy, I think, for those that were interested is to go, yes, you're allowed to tweet, but I'm going to put, by the time you press tweet, there's a 10-minute delay before it actually sends. You can cancel. It sits in your drafts folder for a little while. That's it.

Really? You want to tell me five things about the cab you're in? Yeah. Really? Just think about that again. Seriously. A lot of listeners of the show would probably wish Daslow had that on his. I knew that was coming.

Really? You already know that? Have ten minutes worth of thought about your schnitzel before you decide to tell the world. It's been a long time since I've commented on schnitzel, to be fair. What do you do? Tell me how you – I don't follow you, Tommy, so I'll have to – yeah, I know. It's probably an easy way of finding out and wasting time on our show anyway. But I read all your iTunes comments.

You posted all of them. If you were going to go on about pigs or fridges, maybe we could get on board. No, I sort of talk about what I'm doing, but I try and put a bit of something in there. He has gotten better. Sometimes. He's gotten better. I love this. The honesty is refreshing.

He is honest. He said his problem is honesty. Did I not introduce you guys to my life coach? He's doing a good job. That's why I've placed you next to the window. So once I've gotten really through to you, you can then take the obvious next step. There we go.

Yeah, I let a few slip through the net, but, you know, whatever. It's my room, you know, just hanging out. It is. Just hanging out, talking about my day. I've got feelings. Yeah. Sometimes I think people might want to know my feelings. It just helps me to feel less alone in this crazy world.

Okay, sweetie. See, but the thing is, the thing is you're not alone in a room. Oh. Well, not right now. No, but on Twitter, you're not. You think you are. That's the problem. No, but that's what I like about it.

I like awarding myself the odd moment of just saying something with no motivation behind it other than to just go, I'm fucked off about this. And it just, I don't know, it just feels good. It's like you're shouting it off a mountain. You know, it just feels good. You're throwing it out in the world. It's a nice, I don't know, it's a nice thing to do. And you know, if someone's bothered by it. Just at the top of the mountain. I just had bruschetta for lunch. Deal with it, world.

Yeah, yeah. There you go. I bet you felt good just doing that. That did feel good. See what I mean? Yeah. It's good. It's interesting.

I do like that you were saying the guy who monitors the Twitter feed, the Q&A, because that's like such an awesome job description that would have made no sense five years ago and will make no sense in five years' time. Do you think? Possibly. You can see the demise of Twitter. I'm psychic.

He's bringing it down from the inside. If that guy is actually listening to this podcast, you've just told him he's out of a job. Yeah, but he's got a future in air traffic control. No, but I'm saying, well, not definitely, but the nature of these internet things. I'd imagine there would have been people who would have had similar jobs in the MySpace era, and now they'd be doing nothing

because it doesn't exist. Although Justin Timberlake's just bought it for $35 million. I heard that somewhere. Yeah. He has. I don't know. And they've got some, the rumour is that he's going to turn it into. He's bringing MySpace back.

He's bringing MySpace back. That is the worst thing you've ever heard. That's the obvious one. As like an idle competition, like as some kind of pop star competition internet thingamajiggy. Hang on. What? So how?

Internet. Okay. Just bear with us, everyone. It's like juggling books on a trampoline. There's a lot of information going through the air. Imagine a big filing cabinet in the sky. So the idol competition is the bit that's thrown me, how that's going to revive.

So what, we all have to now compete to be able to log back into our old MySpace accounts? Yeah, I've got to audition to get back onto MySpace. Read us a sample blog that you'll be putting up if we let you through. Yeah. But I quite liked MySpace. That's actually how I used to find comics. I'd get the casting person at the ABC.

I'd go through and I'd go, who's friends with who? Seriously. Because I couldn't get out to gigs because we were, you know, working and everything. So I would go, who's friends with who? So who would be, you know, and who's gigging around? And I'd try and look at videos that were online and stuff. It was actually quite good.

Facebook doesn't seem to have that same. No, well, because Facebook people treat them more privately, I guess, for their friends or whatever. Yes. I got asked to audition for something at the ABC through MySpace, but it was sort of when MySpace was sort of kind of on its way out. It was on the nose. Yeah, and I sort of didn't really check it that often and went in

and I had a message from one of the casting people at the ABC and her display pic was a dolphin or something. And so it's a message over MySpace. It's a strange display pic. It's like, yeah, we want you to come and audition for something at the ABC. I'm like, yeah, sure, this is at the ABC. It's not going to be the Australian Broadcasting.

It's going to be the, you know, something. It's going to be something weird. Yeah, the ABC is not under the Westgate Bridge, so I'm not going to turn up to this audition. Yeah. The managing director's profile picture is a whale, though. Oh, really? Yeah, just to put it in perspective. Oh, okay.

Well, yeah, chain of command kind of thing. Exactly. That's the second AD you were corresponding with. Yeah, you get dibs on the whale if you're the head honcho. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just going to change this up for a little bit. This is something that's, I was listening to the radio last night. Now, are you guys aware of Liam Finn?

Yes. Yeah. Yes, right. Liam Finn, who is Neil Finn's son. Yes. So he's got a record out recently now. He's still got a beard? He had a big beard.

Yeah, yeah, he's got one of those. Right before everyone had a big beard. I didn't mean to look at you when I said big beard. I wouldn't call that big. I'd call it big beard. No, he's red gum beard. He's red gum beard. Dassler's just got that so he can get into nightclubs.

That's the only way. That's it. I don't believe he's driver's license. So he has got a new record out, which I listened to last night, listened to the interview or whatever, and it came to mind. I met him a couple of years ago now. Right. Now, I was in a pub in Balaclava, and tell me if this seems normal to you.

I was in a pub. I saw him walk by. I was with some mates, and I went to my friends, that's Liam Finn right there. And they go, no, it's not. It's not. He walked back past me, and I go, hey, Liam Finn, to prove it to my friends that that's who it was. Now, he stopped and came up to me and goes, to the group and goes, oh, hey, guys, what are you doing? And I was like, just talking to Liam Finn. And he goes, oh, I'm not Liam Finn. Yes hey guys what are you doing and i was like just talking to liam finn and he goes oh i'm not liam finn um yes but what are you guys doing i'm like what are you asking for if i've called you the wrong name oh well i get that a lot you know i said well you've got a pretty strong new zealand accent he goes yeah but oh yeah i get that a lot i said well what do you do for a living and he goes um a musician i'm like so at this stage you're still not liam finn and he goes yeah

oh just yeah i get that a lot though it's like weird but this stage you're still not liam finn and he goes yeah i just yeah i get that a lot though it's like weird but anyway do you guys want to catch up for drinks after this and you know what i'm like this is really weird and then he went back to his friends and my friend went past and he was saying to his friends who told those guys that i'm liam finn who's talking to strangers and telling him my real identity and like you're telling us that you're a musician from New Zealand and you look just like Liam Finn and like your dad's son. Did one of the friends answer EMI? I thought that was very strange.

Then he came back and I was saying to him, why are you pretending not to be Liam Finn? He's like, I don't know what you're talking about. And I tried to get, started getting really stroppy with him. And I said, man, all I was going to say was, hey, I like your music and your dad's awesome. Now all I'm going to tell is everyone that you're a dickhead. That's just such a weird thing to do. And your dad's awesome.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Do you think that's a weird thing to do? I think that's a completely weird thing to do. Yeah, because he's not like a, he's not like a massive megastar. Not at all. You would think he would be. Well, if he's asking to catch up after this, he's not shunning the public. He's not hiding away. He just wanted to catch up

as Clark Kent. He didn't want to rock up as Superman. So hang on, if he's wanting to spend more time with you, how is he expecting this lie to play out? Do you know what I mean? Because presumably the more you ask him about, oh, what's your dad do? Oh, he's in Crowded House. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You are, Lee. No, I'm not.

No, no, no. Get that old. The other Crowded House. You know, the one that plays Fall at Your Feet. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So hang on, you are like, no, I'm not. No, no, no, no. Get that old. The other crowded house. You know, the one that plays Fall at Your Feet. Oh, shit. He lives in a crowded house. He doesn't have much money. He lives in a shelter.

Yeah, his facade fell down very quickly. His one weakness was questions. Was it hard listening to the new album last night? Well, I was just yelling liar at the radio for an hour. But, yeah, I didn't believe a thing he sang about. Yeah. You're not Liam Finn. You can't play the guitar.

That's someone else. That's such a strange thing to do. I'm trying to work out why you would even do that. But, yeah, why you would say you would hook up. Maybe he was trying to make you think that you knew him from somewhere else, that you were actually a good friend or a flatmate. Trick me into thinking I'm a good friend that thinks that you're a D-list celebrity instead of the guy that we had geography with. Although that doesn't sound so weird now, actually.

So if you are listening, Liam Finn, what's your racket? Yeah. What is your racket? Trying to change your name like Daslow over here. That's what it is. That's the new thing, changing your name. Hopey and Daslow and Finny, hey? Yeah.

Stick with it. If you're listening, Liam Finn, leave us an iTunes review and let us know what's going on. Or maybe we should leave a review on his iTunes. Maybe that's it. I call bullshit. Three stars. If you hadn't lied to me in the Balaclava pub that night, I would have bought your album.

Instead, I'm going to download it illegally. How do you feel about that? Anyway. Thanks for bringing that up. That came out of nowhere, but it was good. I was going to say, I love when people come up to us because what we do, it's not immediate anymore. You know, we never do live gigs.

We never do anything in front of people. So when people come up to us and talk to us, having been on the screen and they come up to us, I love that. I love being recognised. Except in Vietnam. We went to Vietnam. The Viet Cong wanted an autograph of you.

That would have been awesome if you just stopped at something there. Charlie coming up to you. Charlie. All over us. All hands, Charlie. You're still waking up with flashbacks. Oh, God. Autograph hunters everywhere.

Oh, God. The Channel 7 chopper asking for a photo. She wants me to my feet. We went for a family holiday this year in Vietnam, and I don't know what it is. It's still kind of the holiday that, you know, maybe ABC watching people do the Vietnam thing, not so much the Thailand nightclub kind of trek. It's the Vietnam thing, not so much the Thailand nightclub kind of trek.

It's the Vietnam thing. And, you know, you're in the middle of the mountains. You've had diarrhoea for three days. It's very unpleasant. You haven't bathed. You haven't showered. You haven't. Bombshells galore.

You basically haven't wiped yourself properly. That's the woman I love. And we were staying in a hotel. Could you just crack open a window, Tommy, over there? That would be great. Crack it open and I'll jump out of it. You come out of the middle of nowhere. There's you and four wild boars and there's nothing else.

Those are your children or? There's nothing else. And except there children or? There's nothing else. And except there's another family who are from Australia. Oh, can we get our photo with you? Really? Really? Could we just wait till we get to Saigon and into the nice hotel? And yeah, we got a lot of recognition.

It was very strange. It was. It was very, very strange. Wherever we went, whatever, restaurant, hotel, we'd go to the Ho Chi Minh Museum or something and there'd be somebody, oh, look. Any locals, any Vietnam locals getting in on their local station, the librarians?

What would that be? No. No? That would be the communist-run stations. Oh, right. Yes. They'd be into the librarians. They'd be into the librarians.

That would be perfect. It was so strange. Absence of Catholicism makes it a hard show'd be into the library. They'd be into the library. So it'd be perfect. It was so strange. Absence of Catholicism makes it a hard show to sell into. Yeah. That was strange trying to explain to our guides sometime, you know, sometime when these photos and, you know, these people would be descending upon us and trying to explain what we did. Ah, right.

For a living. We make shows, you know, trying to explain to somebody who lives in a village. Yep. Who, you know, we had this fantastic guy who was just the most gorgeous guy. We trekked through the mountains. We spent a few days with him and stayed in people's homes and stuff. I don't think they minded.

And at one point it was New Year's Eve and he was going to have a big celebration. So he said, I'd like to buy duck. It's traditional to buy duck. So we stopped in this roadside store, which, you know, look, I'm a bit of a hygiene freak. And just seeing all that pork and everything just sitting outside on tables for days just makes me feel. A few moments ago you were telling us about how you haven't bathed or washed. She's a hygiene freak. Listen, the story goes. She can let her whole body go, but her hands are always clean.

The chicken's got to wash. She doesn't have to wipe, but the chicken has to wipe. That's it. And then he goes into this stall and he comes back and he comes back with this bag. And we go, did you get your duck? He goes, yeah, and the bag's wriggling. Oh, wow, you really got your duck.

And so, you know, this is a guy who's going to go home and go to his little flat in the town and, you know, chop open a duck to have the thing and, you know, saying, so what exactly do you do? We, you know, try and explain. You work in a library? No, we pretend to work in a library. Yeah, totally.

Tony Martin directed some episodes. He runs IMDB. Don't worry about it. Shh! This does not leave Vietnam, okay? He's going back and telling his flatmate, Liam Finn. I don't know who those guys were that I met, but that's a bit weird.

So, guys, before we get out of here, what have you got to plug? What have you got going on at the moment? Is there more librarians or is that? There is no. They're done. There are no more librarians in the world. Like there was a big memo that went out.

You've killed them all off. Borders took care of that. Borders, yeah. Terrible. No, we've parked the librarians for the time being. We've been writing a new show, a few new things, which hopefully will go into production next year. And in the meantime, we've been doing those little things for our website, which is kind of the stuff people can see this year,

and the company's Gristmill. So if you go to gristmill.com.au, you can have a look at Robyn and Tony Martin being idiots. So Gristmill is the production company? That's our production company, yeah. What if you guys did a bit of a bull pit style thing with the librarians where like in 30 years' time you pick it up again and it's Francis just like in a nursing home?

Yeah, this is good. Okay. Write this down. Get a pen. And bull pits there too. again and it's Francis just like in a nursing home. Yes. This is good. Okay. Write this down. Get a pen. And Bull Pit's there too. I think that's got to be part of the deal. What happened with, what was that? I don't remember that.

That was Kingswood Country when it came back 30 years later. It was Bull Pit and it was like him in a nursing home. Yeah. Up to his old tricks again. I've actually forgotten about that. Because I have no memory of Kingswood Country, but I remember bullpicking. Oh, right. You know what I mean?

I remember going, I remember always watching going, feels like there's something more going on here that I'm not quite getting. Like there's been something before that I'm meant to have picked up on. I used to love Kingswood Country as a kid, and that's why I'm remarkably racist. I just liked it when I was complaining about the levels in bullpicking. What is this dense storytelling they're doing? And then all of a sudden you found the original ones and it was like the first three Star Wars trilogy.

Ah, the story behind the retirement home. Now I see why he's gone there. Oh, that's so funny. Now I understand. Yeah. No, hopefully we won't have that problem. Hopefully we won't have to come back as Francis Ryan 30 years later. That's why we're embarking on new things.

Well, it's good to know that you've got options. I mean, it's a long-term plan. Exactly. And Carl, I think the audition's gone really well. Yes, great, great. So, yeah, you've got the part. As long as I don't have to pretend to be from Denmark, I think I've nailed this one.

Well, guys, that brings us to the end of the program. Thank you, Wayne and Robin. So, Mark, I've switched the order around. Thank you guys for joining us this week. I don't think it works as well, but go. Robin and Wayne, thank you very much for joining us in the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Thank you guys for listening. If you want to send us any correspondence, littledumbdumbclub at gmail.com or just iTunes.

Why not? Why mess with a good thing? Just iTunes. Just iTunes. Don't worry about that pesky email thing. It's never going to catch on. Unless there's some sort of animal that's run free from any electrical appliance, then send it to the Gmail, but everything else put to iTunes.

Check out gristmill.com.au. Yeah. .au. And great, we'll see you guys next time. Thanks for listening to The Little Dumb Dumb Club. We'll see you soon. See you, mates. See you, mates.