The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 41 - Adam Richard

Episode Date: July 12, 2011

Cough Buttons, Dodgy Omelettes and Heather Locklear Drops By. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, welcome aboard to another edition of the Little Dum Dum Club. My name is Tommy Dasolo and sitting opposite me, my co-host Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead. Now, how are we today? Are we good? Well, you know I'm not that good. Yeah, full disclosure up the top, we're both of fairly ill health, I'd say. Yeah, I've dragged myself out of my sickbed this morning for this, but yeah, I'm feeling very, very brittle.

Yeah. So I'm not at 100% Chandler capacity today. Yes, I'm on... But you know, 80% Chandler capacity is still pretty bloody good. 400% Dassolo capacity. I'm on the receding end of a four-day bender, and I was thinking of it, I was thinking about it, I reckon in decades to come, when I look

back on this podcast, this will just serve as a timely representation of how poorly I looked after myself in my 20s. Because I was listening to some old episodes the other day, and like every fourth episode, I seem to have lost like barely any voice that I have. So yeah, it's been good. It's been a good weekend. Well, I'll save my tales of woe until after we've introduced our guest. Okay, let's get into it.

Our guest today, a good friend of ours, you may know him from the Matt and Jo Breakfast Show on Fox FM, it's the fabulous Adam Richard. Interstate listeners, I'm also on Hayley Rabbit and Craig on SAFM and Lisa Baz and Sam on Office 2.9. Double clang. Now, what's the rabbit really like? I love rabbit.

He's hilarious. Oh, is it rabbit, not the rabbit? No, no, it's just rabbit. Just rabbit. The rabbit. There you go. A bit of respect for rabbit, right? I think the rabbit is an attachment on a lady's pleasuring.

It didn't take you long, did it? No. I used to work at a sex shop. They're always just there at the front of my head. Now, how come you're the fabulous Adam Richard? How come you don't have like a rabbit? What would your name be if you had to be rabbit or whatever? Just Fab.

Oh, Fab. Fabbo. People call me Fab. Or the fabulous one. Fabsy, the Fabster. Yeah. Yep. Fabad.

Troy used to call me, Troy Ellis used to call me Fabad on the radio until our boss said no. It sounds like he's saying fat ad. Now, are you a bit sick today as well? I've got, I don't know where this has come from. Probably from passing some random at the peel at four o'clock in the morning. No, I've got like a chesty thing, a cough. Den of disease that we're in at the moment. But because I work in this radio studio like five days a week, I know to do this.

Oh, you push the cough button. Oh, cough button. Where's the cough button? Oh, my God, where has that been? Where is it? What's the cough? See where it says on? Yeah.

If you press that, it'll go to off. Oh, my God. All right. Hey, Desla, you know what I really think of you, or I actually think that you're – hey, it does work. Oh, wow. So, well, it's a bit too late now because you've had a cough're... It does work. Oh, wow. Well, it's a bit too late now because you've had a cough for like a month now. Yeah, yeah.

There's nothing about it. Oh, my God. That is... I know. I've listened to this podcast. I thought, they don't know that button's there. Yeah. We need to go back and digitally remove all the coughing from all the episodes.

40 weeks in, we've figured out how to cough. And then you can auto-tune yourselves to be singing a song. Oh, my God. Oh, this is what I did on the weekend. I've come down with some food poisoning. I'm not sure what happened, but I think I'm going to have to think that it's my girlfriend made me a meal on Saturday, and that's

what it was. You can't blame the one time you ate something that someone cooked for you. I'm sorry, but that's it. You probably eat more disgusting food than anyone I know. No. And the one home-cooked meal you have is the one that made you sick. That's all true. Because I thought this was going to be, because you and I have constant arguments about the pizza joint

around the corner from your house, which I'm an old-school fan of and you're not a fan of at all. No, I do, I do. It just made me horrendously sick one time. But I thought they were going to be the culprit again. No, they weren't. I thought they were going to be dragged kicking and screaming back into it. No, well, this is what happened.

So on Saturday, I had a meal prepared for me by my lovely girlfriend, and it was very nice at the time. And then after that, she went out and I had nothing to do. So my friend of the show, Pete Sharkey, from a couple of weeks ago, he was doing a gig at the Comics Landage in North Melbourne. So I said, I'm going to come pick you up and we'll go up there and I'll just come and watch your set and we might have a drink or whatever. So I went and picked him up.

On the way, I started to feel a bit ill. I'm like, oh, no, this will be all right. And then I thought, maybe I need something extra to eat. So we pulled into McDonald's and I got like a cheeseburger. So have a minute. Yeah, I know. I know. I'm feeling sick.

And the solution is eat more. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah, I know. I know. I'm feeling sick. And the solution is eat more. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah, I completely understand. So I went and drank some sour milk. Yeah, I know. So I ate it. Then I went up there and I was waiting for him to go on.

I was feeling more and more sick. As soon as his foot hit the stage, I ran to the bathroom and vomited. As soon as. So I missed his whole set after all that. So you don't think the thought of seeing Pete Sharkey do a gig... It was, and he's usually better than that, I'd have to say. So, hang on. You've had a Macca's after,

and you've still got the audacity to blame your girlfriend's meal. But I was already feeling sick before that. That was almost like the finger down the throat. That was clearing it. That was helping. So how long after your girlfriend's meal did you start to feel sick? About three hours, I reckon. Yeah, no, it takes about ten.

Does it really? Yeah. It's whatever you ate before. Well, she cooked me breakfast. You're determined to blame her. Dysentery fingers. What was the dinner in question? She cooked me a pizza, and then for breakfast she cooked me an omelette.

Okay, well, yeah. You know what? It's the omelette then because she didn't eat that but she ate the pizza. And she didn't get sick? No. Yeah, she totally poisoned you with the pizza. Eggsy! Classic Eggsy.

Hey, I was at a house party on Saturday night, and I was having a conversation with a couple of mates, and then from near me I hear someone go, is that the dulcet tones of Tommy Dasolot? Some guys who are fans of the show have heard my voice and recognised me based on that. You know why? You know why? Because they've gone, hey, that chick sounds sexy.

Oh, hang on. Hang on. Dulcet tones is not a phrase that chick sounds sexy. Oh, hang on. That's exactly it. Hang on. Dulcet tones is not a phrase that I would use to describe my own voice. Well, maybe today with the huskiness. I prefer when I get sick because it gives, you know, at least then my voice has a bit of, you know, a bit of something. A bit of timber. You sound masculine.

Yeah, a bit of timber, yeah. But, well, on that, so how's the quickest way to explain this? So the house party was a filming thing. So a couple of friends of mine do a show, like a web series called Poncho. It's a music journalism show. So they needed to film at a party. So they threw a party to film at, right? And so everyone at this party kind of knew these guys and was familiar with that show.

So I'm talking to these guys who recognise me from Dumb Dumb, and they said, hey, were you the voice of God in that last episode of Poncho? Because it sounded just like you. I'm like, no, that wasn't me at all. There it goes. So then I grab my friend Nick, who works on the show, and I'm like, hey, who did God in the last episode? And he goes, oh, it was our director, Tim,

but we just turned the pitch up a few levels to get it to sound like him. And he was sick, so we piped in a bit of old Shirley Temple, and that did the job. But not only that, not only the insult of that in and of itself, but also there's a role that I could have done for a mate's show. They didn't even consider me. They're bringing in, the machines are taking over now. They've auto-tuned someone into Tommy Dasolo. They've auto-tuned a bit of Dasolo into this.

Well, to be honest, there's a lot of girls out there that are pretty jealous of your gig on this show. Because they're like, well, we could have done the same job. I'm no rabbit. That's for damn sure. Careful. He'll get you in a gotcha call when you're not looking. Oh, yes. Does Rabbit do gotcha calls?

He totally does. Every single day. Oh, really? Yeah. What, for the radio show? Or just for fun? He's an arsehole. No, really? Yeah. What, for the radio show or just for fun? Just for fun. He's an arsehole.

No, for the show. So you're a fellow breakfast host. Yeah. Fellow. Fellow. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Of course it is.

What's so funny about that? I thought you were saying fellow is in regards to us. No, no, no, not at all. Just because we're here before midday. We're fellow nothing. We're only fellow time wasters. You know what? Someone could be listening to this on the tram on the way to work.

So technically this is a breakfast show. I guess so, yeah, sure. All right. So you're a fellow breakfast host. Yes. I wouldn't call what I do hosting though. Okay. So what time, I know you've answered this question a million times,

but what time do you get up in the morning? 4.30. 4.30, yeah. Now what sort of, know you've answered this question a million times, but what time do you get up in the morning? 4.30. 4.30, yeah. Now what sort of, now you've been doing that for how long, what, six, seven, eight years? Eight years. Eight years, wow. So you obviously- For a while I used to get up at 3.30.

Until you stopped taking your job seriously? No, no, no. I used to do like my gossip segments and the whole show. So I had to do like a double job. Yep. So I had to prepare a lot and then come to a meeting at five o'clock in the morning. But now I don't have to go to the meeting because I work on three different shows. So there's no point to go to a meeting for one show that I'm only doing.

That sounds so spectacularly awful. There's one thing going, oh, I'm working. I'm working at five in the morning. Another thing to say, I'm having a meeting at five o'clock in the morning. Oh, yeah. So I work at home for like a good hour and a half and then come to work and do more work and then... Get dragged into the little dum-dum club afterwards, which I'd imagine is exactly what you want

to be doing. Normally right now I'd be on the freeway singing along to Glee in my car. There's a segment in the show where you get to join. So this is just the same, really. In my head, I'm singing along to Glee. Yeah. So if you go to bed, if you get up at that time, what time do you go to bed? Oh, about eight-ish, nine.

Eight, nine. Yeah, right. You know, whenever MasterChef finishes. Right. So that's, I mean, I guess that's not a big deal then. I mean, I guess if you're going to bed at eight or nine o'clock, the only difference between you and us, you've probably missed out on the fact that there is exercise equipment for sale late at night

and Zumba classes and pimple remedies. That stuff's still on at 4 o'clock in the morning when I start working. Oh, okay. Right, right. Is that the only difference? I think that's it. Yeah, I get paid. Big difference there.

And people listen to you. Yeah, people actually listen. And we're getting paid in fan art. We got our first bit of fan art this year. Fan art? Yeah. Are you riding a unicorn? Yeah.

No, it's not far off in terms of creepiness. Are you bumming each other off on the back of a unicorn? It is quite unicorn-esque. Yeah, yeah. It is a very creepy... Let me just bring it up on the phone. There's no need for you to bring it up on the phone. I don't know if you knew this isn't a TV show,

so how about we just describe it? I'm trying to get the guys to know. How about we just describe it? A friend of the show, James Fostyke, has sent us an illustration that he's done. Unicorn-esque. It has got me with a, let's say, a horn coming out that's more of a phallic horn

with a little Tommy Daslow's head on the end of the phallic horn. With me saying, get a dickhead. Yeah, it's awesome. Like, it looks great, but it's a very bizarre compliment and particularly, very appropriately, it came through on my email at 12.30 last night. 12.30 on a Sunday evening, I'm getting a photo of my head on a clock on your head. Awesome piece of art. And I'm saying, there's a Sunday evening, I'm getting a photo of my head on a clock on your head.

Awesome piece of art. And I'm saying, there's a speech bubble. I'm saying, hey, mate. And there's flowers like shooting out of my mouth as I'm saying it. That's a visual cue to mean you sound feminine. Yeah, exactly. You sound like a feminine hygiene product. That's what that means.

But it's you. You're saying g'day, dickhead. Oh, tampon vitals there. You're saying g'day dickhead. Oh, I'm tampon vipers there. You're saying g'day dickhead to me and you're sort of looking up at the dick on your head

that is me. It's a very... Check it out on the Facebook page on the Little Dumb Dumb Club Facebook page. Anyone who wants to step up and do

more fan art for us? It looks like a bit of Grateful Dead merch or something like that. It's very good. So if you've got anything, littledumbdumbclub at gmail.com.

Hit us up and send that. If you haven't wasted enough of your life listening to us, then there's a queue for more. So we don't get paid in sweet bucks, but we get, you know. Demented, erotic pictures. No, it's really, like the artwork is amazing. Yeah. Like it's not.

It's very good. When you said fan art, I expected, you know, some kind of crazy. I was reading the email. I thought it was just going to be. What about you? What about you, Adam? Have you got any interesting fan reaction over the years? We get a lot of, like I do a podcast with Toby Sullivan and Scott Brennan called Talking Poofy.

Yes. Which you can find if you search Poofy in iTunes. Yep. And we get some very interesting emails because we mostly just talk about bum sex. Right. That's all we ever talk about bum sex. Right. That's all we ever talk about. Right. And how much Rhonda Birchmore looks like a man.

And how much sex Scott Brennan has. Up the bum. So that's still the same conversation. With Rhonda Birchmore? With Rhonda Birchmore. He's got an enormous dick. This is no longer breakfast radio. I did the Spicks and Spix finale the other day,

and I had to sit next to Rhonda Birchmore. Oh, wow. Just bearing in mind all the times I've called her a man. And, yeah. Was she aware? Did she, was there any? I don't think so. Like, I had to do, do you remember on Spix they used to do that bicycle game

where you ride the bicycle to make the turntables go around? Yes. It's a stupid game, and they made me do it because it's funny because I'm fat and I can't ride a bike. I love that you can just rag them now because the show's over and there's no chance of being asked back anyway. This isn't going to be on until November. But, yeah, they said, Adam said, I'll go and get on the bicycle.

And I don't know if this will make it to air, but first I climbed on top of Rhonda and said, oh, sorry, the other bike. Oh, yes. He smacked her. Big laugh? Did you get a laugh? Oh, kind of. air, but first I climbed on top of Rhonda and said, oh, sorry, the other bike. Big laugh? Did you get a laugh? Oh, kind of. What was her reaction?

Well, her face is paralyzed. She can't react. Oh, no. Her face hasn't moved in like 20 years. But then at the end, like Damien Callen was spinning the records and was dressed in his new romantic gear with a kilt on. And so Adam Hills goes, oh, big thanks to Damien Callan. And everyone's clapping. I went, yeah, she was awesome.

And then I pointed at Rhonda and went, so was he. You've gone her again. You've gone a double virtual. At least to her face. I did it to her face. So for everyone listening to the last episode of Spicks and Specks, Adam Richard was on there originally. I may have been edited out by this point.

Yeah, you'll watch it and you'll find you've been digitally replaced with an Ewok sitting in your seat. They have to cut me out. They have to cut Ronda as well. Oh, right, you've fallen out of the boat and you've dragged her with you. Two men overboard. Women and children first, not you, Rhonda. Back in the floor.

Now you've dragged your petty Rhonda Venter into this show. It's a crossover. It's like a comic book. She'll never be on this show now. David Atkins won't be on there. Ricky May. He's dead. Imagine if someone did a sweet drawing of Rhonda Birchmore with two cocks coming out of her.

And our heads on top of it. I can see it being drawn as we speak. I'll start. So, Adam, so people know you, I guess, you know, mostly from radio. You've done a bunch of TV. You were saying Spicks and Specks. And you've actually got your own show. My own show.

Coming down the pipe. Down the pipe. It's produced by Princess Pictures, who've done things like Peter Hellyer's movie, I Love You Too, and Angry Boys, Summer Heights High, all that kind of stuff. And it's directed by Kevin Carlin. Clang. Clang. Who is the best director ever.

He directed, like, Big Girls Blows and Eric Banner's show and a bunch of fast forward back in the best director ever. He directed like Big Girls Blouse and Eric Banner's show and a bunch of Fast Forward back in the day. Yep. Boy Town, The Extra, done movies. He's awesome. So when's it all due out? Who knows? Oh, really?

Well, it's all been completed and done. I've seen all the final things. This is the running trend lately. You've got to talk to people and it's like, yeah, we did this show. When's it coming out? No idea. Like Fleety? When's Fleety's show coming out?

Well, I don't think Fleety's even got a network. At least we've got the ABC have got ours. They paid for it. Did Fleety make a show or did he just dream that he made a show? Yeah, yeah. I think he took a lot of money for the show. No, he totally made a show. I know people who were in it.

They made it. Were you in it? No, I wasn't in it. Okay. No, I was busy doing my own show. You were in it. Awesome. I didn't end up filming my bit, but according to him, I'm going to be in it.

He said I'm in the second one. Oh, my God. He said that to everyone who ever lived. I know at least seven people who were in one role that was actually played by Stephen Gates anyway. Classic Gatesy. So tell us a bit more about the show for people who haven't heard about it. It's what they call a narrative comedy, what we used to call in the old money a sitcom.

But now it's called narrative comedy, which means it's a story. It's about a group of gay science fiction fans who just, you know, hang out. They're open about their sexuality, but they're very closeted about being nerds. Okay. So they don't want anyone to know about their, you know, collection of Doctor Who dollies. Right. Is this a modern, is it set in the modern day?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's a, yeah, there's five characters. I play a character called Fab, who's annoying. I get it, with your radio host. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. I'm not very creative.

Toby Truslove, who you might know from a million things, including Laid. He's the main character. He plays a character called Max. Also, I thought he was going to be called the Rabbit. No, he's not the Rabbit. Space Rabbit. He and I are like best friends since high school, and he has these constant panic attacks,

which I don't help by screaming boo at him every time he's in the middle of one. So I think they're like hiccups. help by screaming boo at him every time he's in the middle of one. So I think they're like hiccups. It's also got Christine Arnoux, who plays an Aboriginal lesbian in a wheelchair. Oh, typecast. I know. Her character, like, you know, she's quite a successful gallery.

I think she runs a gallery. I hope I don't come off bitter because I was up for that role. You know, there was a part, one of our guest parts was Tommy Little. I'm right here. No, Tommy Little was up for a part in our show and he said, oh, I went for this part. I was like, oh, I'm so spewing you didn't get that. I got to patch that guy.

Oh, yes. Oh, my God. That would have been awesome. In a cupboard. What do you mean I've done it wrong again? Oh, right. One more time patch. That would have been awesome. In a cupboard. What do you mean I've done it wrong again? Oh, right. Oh, God. One more time, Pashing Tommy Little, if I have to. My job.

Well, the lesson here is series two, you've got to get more involved in the casting process. Adam, the crew have all gone home. Are you sure we're supposed to be still doing this? Sadly, they went with someone who could act. Wickedly whack. The whacks don't stop here on the Dumb Dumb Club. It's Safran V. Bellard and Long Around 2. It's Richard versus the world.

So what part is Rhonda Birchmore playing? She's playing my dad. Your dad sure can dance, so I'll give him that much. She does have a mention in the show, because in one episode they're meant to be going to see Lord of the Rings the musical, where she's playing Gandalf. But unfortunately, the theatre burned down 26 weeks early and no one can go.

Is that seriously a joke about her in the show? There is seriously a Rhonda Birchmore reference in the show. I can't help you, Shell. I cannot stop. I've got a problem. She's picturing you at the coffee shop going, and they're like, what do I have?

Oh, a soy latte. Thanks, that'll be $4.40. Oh, and Rhonda Birchmore looks like a man. Just like, any way you can get it out there, just throwing it to anyone. We originally wrote a scene with her in mind, like for a kind of like,

but it just turned into a one-liner. She looked at it and went, actually, I don't want to come all the way in and get punched in the face by Adam Richard. No, we were going to have her actually dressed as Gandalf singing a song. She'd write a scene where she makes out with Tommy Little. That would be something to see. Totally.

She can get written into Fleety Show. She probably was promised a couple of roles already, actually. So now this, for you, you wrote the show as well. Yeah, I co-wrote it with John Richards. Okay, so science fiction, obviously you're a big fan of that kind of stuff. You're into that. What's your main passion of science fiction? I mainline Doctor Who like there's no tomorrow.

So this is the weird thing. Okay, so you're a big, are you an old school Doctor Who fan? Old, old, old school Doctor Who fan. See, I'm an old school Doctor Who fan, but I never got into the new series. I haven't even tried to watch it.

I just took it as a thing that I loved back Can you pass me that knife? I'm going to stab you. But I was a massive fan of the first 26 seasons or 27 seasons.

Yeah, that's fine. Why haven't you got into the new one? I don't know. What's wrong with you, woman? I just felt like it sold out.

What? It's a BBC. It's the BBC. It's a public company. All the doctors are young and good looking and all this sort of stuff. I liked it when they were all 70-year-old men. Yeah. I don't know why, but I did.

I kind of thought that when they cast Matt Smith, who's like the youngest one ever, but he's so like an old man in a young person. He wears a goddamn bow tie and elbow patches. Well, so does Dassler when he's eight. That's fair. But yeah, you know what? It's written by fans like Russell T. Davis and Stephen Moffat, both huge fans. So it's, yeah, it's lovingly adored. Having said that, I've never seen the news.

You've got to watch it now. So, yeah. You watch like three of them and then you go, oh, what? Now I'm stuck. Right. I did hate it for a little while. Well, not hate it, but I was conflicted because when he started kissing Rose, that upset me because when I was younger, I really identified with Doctor Who because he would have these completely naked women standing around

and paying no attention to them, so I thought he was one of my people. And he spent a lot of time in, you know, what looked like a toilet in the park. All right, well, I'm going to test your fandom. What if the Doctor regenerated and what if the next Doctor was Rhonda Birchmore? Would you still be able to watch or would you be too conflicted? Look, I would hope that she got shot by a Dalek every week. You know, because I was, what, like maybe 14, 15 when Colin Baker was Doctor Who, and he wasn't much chop.

No. Like, he's good now when you listen to the radio plays if you're an obscene nerd like I am. But yeah, and then Sylvester McCoy, who I absolutely hated, and I was, I think I was 18. I was like finishing year 12 and still watching Doctor Who right to the bitter end. I was still into it to the very end, to the very end of the first time around. Sylvester McCoy and all that sort of stuff.

Yeah, so I wasn't much into Sylvester McCoy. See, I thought he was quite good compared to Colin Baker because he was really not very good. Yeah, he was a bit over the top. See, I've never seen it at all. I've never seen any of it. Ever. And not only that, I have no idea what it, like what it even, like what it's about.

Okay. They go through time and space to anywhere in a box. Okay. There you go. See, that's why you've been into it for 35 years. You can see right there. Sounds like, to me, it just sounds like a less fun version of the little kid and the dog in the Rocky and Bullwinkle show.

You know, it's more fun than that. Cause you know what? When I was a little kid, Doctor Who was the only way you could watch horror without your parents knowing you were watching horror. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, you always wanted to watch vampire movies and blood and guts and jaws and everything. I wanted to see all that, but you weren't allowed because it's, no, it's rated M.

We can't be watching that. No. No, it's, you know, it's on late at night. Were your parents British lords? Because that was pretty much. But, you know, it's late at night. Were your parents British lords? Pretty much. But, you know, Doctor Who was on at 6.30 on the ABC, so no one knew. It was an easy slide from the goodies straight into Doctor Who.

The people being eviscerated left, right and centre. There is not a single story of Doctor Who, I think, from the whole, you know, 26-year run, where someone didn't die a horrible death. Yeah, right. Like, there's one where they were trapped in the TARDIS in the 60s and, you know, no one died in that because it was just the main cast. But someone dies a horrible, disfiguring, grotesque death. Edge of destruction. Edge of destruction.

Yeah. Or beyond the sun. They had different names. Oh, well, I was trying to show off then and you don't even care. See, I talk a lot about Mad Magazine on this show, but they were my two passions. I loved Mad Magazine when I was a kid. They were my two passions as a child slash teenager.

And I actually bought myself a filing cabinet to keep the two things in all the magazines and books and everything. The previously mentioned filing cabinet. Exactly. It's like a TARDIS of childhood. What a crap metaphor. Anyway, so I think I went swimming with the keys to it. Don't beat yourself up. You went swimming with the keys.

With the keys to it, and the keys went down to the bottom of the creek, and that's it. So they're at my house, at my parents' house now. There's an impenetrable filing cabinet. Exactly, full of Doctor Who and Mad magazines. So you've talked about the filing cabinet, and you said that you'd lost the key. You didn't mention that the key was 10,000 leagues beneath the sea.

It was like an episode of Doctor Who. Can't you just crowbar that shit open? I could, but I don't know. What if we did a special episode where we get a submarine to try and find the keys to that filing cabinet? Send James Cameron down with his 3D cameras to the bottom of the Mariana Trench looking for the keys to your filing cabinet.

To the bottom of what the place was actually called where I lost the keys is a place called Barry's Hole. Not quite as romantic as that. Now you sound like you're doing the poof cast. Clang. Clang, Barry's Hole. Barry's Hole.

You'll need gloves to get those out. Yeah, so there's a lot of valuable Doctor Who and Mad Magazine merch. Love it so much. Cuisine merch. I love it so much. Well, talking of sci-fi and stuff, I went and saw the latest X-Men film the other day. Oh, I love that. It was great, wasn't it? I really enjoyed it.

Yeah, yeah. Have you heard about the crazy subtext, though? No, what? There's talk that the screenwriters and director had decided very early on, and didn't really communicate to anyone, that they wanted to imply that Charles Xavier and, I hate saying Xavier because it just sounds wrong, Charles Xavier and Eric Lynch, Magneto, were lovers. Ah, really?

They were bumming each other off in the mansion before they had their lovers. So how was that implied in the movie? Just that they were so close. Oh. And there was that bit where they were in the bed together with the hooker they had their lovers. So how was that implied in the movie? Just that they were so close. Oh. And there was that bit where they were in the bed together with the hooker, with the wings. And the sex.

The sex, yeah. When they're having sex. The helmet. Oh, no. And the triple X-Men. When you say directors and screenwriters, is that code for in your own head? No, no, no.

Apparently that was, you know, they kind of, they knew they couldn't go that far because the Marvel people would have a little fit. That is going to be some sweet deleted scenes on that Blu-ray. Yeah. Stan Lee didn't want to make a cameo in that scene apparently. That is my favourite thing about those movies is that Stan Lee always rocking up in any Marvel film. Yeah.

It's always so funny that there's like... Like the Hitchcock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's just always... Or the Jeff Hook. Hitchcock just kind of slid through, whereas Stan Lee's like, hang on, I'm over here!

I'm over here! This is my bit! This is my bit! In all of them, it's like just the coincidence that there's always just this same weird old dude always hanging around. Does he play Stan Lee in all of them? No, no, no.

He doesn't play himself. He plays Hugh Hefner in Iron Man. Yeah. I thought it was just like he's a sort of nameless old dude on the street, but he's revealed in a way that it's like, oh, yeah, that's Stan Lee, but he's not meant to be anyone. Yeah, no, in The Hulk, he's a security guard with Lou Ferrigno who played The Hulk on TV.

Like they're just walking along together as security guards. Right. That's funny. Hey, speaking of you, Hector. I'm such a nerd. How do I know these things? Oh, hey, can I get back to X-Men quickly? Yes.

No, not really. So basically, I went and saw the film the other day, and it's really good. But early on, right, in the film, so I presume most people are familiar with it, there's the character Raven, who can change form, can turn herself into, like, take on things. Played by Jennifer Lawrence, who was amazing in that film, by the way. Very cute.

She's a really good actress. Oh, you, not her. So, anyway, she can, there's a scene very early on in the film where she's disguised as a middle-aged woman, and then someone discovers her, and she does the... where her skin changes back into a natural form, which is like a blue kind of alien-looking thing, right? That happens.

This is five minutes into the film. That happens. A guy sitting next to me goes, Oh, what? You're in X-Men. Like, what do you expect is going to happen? What did you think was going to happen when you came in here? So I'm already, like, a bit weird about that, right?

Also, I should point out, this was earlier last week, so it was a really cold day. It's freezing. It's raining. This guy is sitting in the cinema just wearing a singlet. He's just in his singlet top. He's not looked up right. Halfway through the film, he pulls out a can of Lynx

and just starts dousing himself in it. Just this quiet part of the film where there's just people talking and next thing you know you just hear this. Of him just spraying himself down. But it was kind of this weird bit of timing where right after he did that, then they went into that bit of the film where they're doing that kind of training montage where they're all sort of getting ready. And so it kind of was appropriate because I'm watching on the screen

someone just having finished pumping iron and I can just smell the sweet scent of the Winx Africa. Scratch and sniff movie. It was like a smell-o-vision thing. It was bizarre. But how into a film are you getting if you're needing to spray yourself down with a bit of body spray? He got really mad at that transformation back there.

Oh my God. It was just the most, it was so bizarre. What you don't understand is he too was a mutant and his X-Men power is to piss you off during a film. Yeah, well, it a mutant, and his X-Men power is to piss you off during a film. Yeah, well, it's an accomplishment. I was talking before about a party I was at on Saturday night, and a friend of mine was there who I had not seen for a little while. It was a busy party.

Yeah, it was a busy party. A lot of people there who I hadn't seen for a while, which was nice. It was an anecdote party. You were just walking around the party going, I've got to have something for Monday. Has anyone got anything? You know what? That's what it felt like because I nearly didn't go.

And then as I was walking home at like 3 a.m., I was like, oh, thank God I went out tonight. Now I've got some juice for the show. Anyway. That's what I was thinking when I was spewing violently into the toilet. Oh, thank God for this. Thank you, Sharky. Radio call.

So, yeah, so I had not seen her for a while and she was quite drunk, but drunk in like a weird way, like just sort of not the kind of person that I remember her being. Like she was just really kind of off her face and being really weird and I was just going, are you alright? Like you just seem kind of really like out of control. And she's like, yeah, just like being, rah. And just, like, being mental. I'm like, did you do ice or something before you came out? Because you just seem.

And she's, like, going, nah, nah, like, yeah. And then she, like, starts going, yeah, nah. Like, out of nowhere, just goes, yeah, anyway, my boyfriend at the moment's got a huge dick. He's got, like, a really big dick. And I'm going, is this a bit? Are you doing a character? Like, what the?

Is this the, are you actually my friend? Or is this, like, are you doing a character? Like what the, is this the, are you actually my friend or is this like a body snatchers thing? Cause this is not how you normally act. And then she goes, Hey, come on. I'm just out having a good time. I've had a really hard time recently. Okay. I've, I've, I've heard.

She's like, I wouldn't expect that of you, Carl. I'd expect that of Anne, but not of you. I infect any studio I'm in. You're ripping off his gear. Yeah, I was like, and she goes, yeah, no, I deserve, you know, I'm happy to be out and having a good time. You know, I've had a rough trot recently. So I'm like, oh, okay, fair enough.

You know, I'm sorry to hear that. You know, what's going on? Let's talk about it. And she goes, oh, no, I just had a lot of work to do last week. I'm like, that's not a tough time. That's just a time. Do you know what I mean? It's just your job.

Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. I just love having a really kind of average week and then just treating that as an excuse to just go hog wild. Like, no, no, no. Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me about whatever. I worked three shifts last week.

So just back off. So that gives me an excuse to talk about my boyfriend's appendage. Yeah. That's it. I've been injecting vodka. But then she started telling us about the guy she'd been with before, like couldn't get it up, and she's like, oh, you know, I told her. Was she telling you this because despite the beard,

she thought you were a girl? This does not sound like the kind of conversation women have with men. Were you both wearing pyjamas? Was there a pillow fight afterwards? So she starts telling me about how, yeah, her last guy she was with couldn't get it up, and she kind of tried to help him through it and tried to get him on medication.

But then she told a friend. Basically, it was this whole kind of chain thing where she told a friend, that friend told someone else. It basically ends up getting back to the boss at this dude's law firm that he works at. So now everyone in this poor guy's office knows that he can't get it up, and she's telling us this story and going, yeah, so that was just a really tough time for me.

And, you know, I've been through that. I'm like, you've been through that? You've told everyone at this guy's work that he can't get it up. Like, how's that bad for you? Well, I think it is bad for her because I think it makes her look like a pig ugly doll. And she needed to stick a finger up his date to get him going. Slowly turning into talking poofy. It's over half an hour in and it's taken you that long to use the phrase finger up the

date. You know, I know this thing gets played on the Barry and I can't broadcast certain things. No, you can broadcast whatever you want. Really? Yeah. No, I see. This is part of my life working for the Austereo Corporation. Oh, okay.

Right. Because someone who works at the company whose name I won't mention. Hang on. Just hit that button there. Someone at this company whose name I won't mention has breached the broadcasting codes, and as a result, we have to have retrainingining on a more frequent basis. So every couple of months, we have to go in and be told

what not to say on the radio. We get none of that. We're the bottom of the ladder in this company. Bottom. Sorry. You've got to hit that button. Dasolo, can I ask you? You just said Team Allsop.

Oh, yes. That is your original surname, is it not? Yeah. And Desolo is pretend. Yes. Have you listened before? I have listened before and I've heard you explain where it came from and it made no sense to me.

It makes no sense to me. That's five times he's had to say it. Everyone always says he never explains it. Well, explain it properly. Because I changed my name. My surname is not Richard. Oh, really? Another one. Another one, yeah. Is that, so

your Facebook name is that Yeah, my, I actually have an Italian surname. Your made up surname is an insult to my deleted surname. Oh, you're one of these Adam Richer-opolis. Richard's my middle name. That's why there's no S on the end.

So it's Adam Richard Delamada. That's my actual name. Because, yeah, we're friends on Facebook as of quite recently. Shush, don't tell anyone. That's my secret Facebook. Yeah, like me. My public Facebook, Fabulous Adam Richard. Everyone jump on.

Because I saw that and I thought that that was like a, you know, like a pseudonym because I was going to actually ask you about that. Like I thought you were maybe getting hit up by like, you know, weirdo fans and whatever. I deleted a whole bunch of, I deleted my whole Facebook about five years ago and then have only just jumped back on in the last 12 months. Right. And we're not mates on Facebook. No, I don't like you that much.

Fair enough. I don't like him, but you know, he wanted to send me a message. That's good enough for me. As long as we're both not mates with you, that's fine. That's not how I remember it happening. But no, Delamada is my real surname. Wow. So where did Desolo come from?

I made it up. In my head, I made it up. I get that. It comes from nowhere. But why? I don't know. I don't know. I just took a stab in my head. There is a reason, isn't why? I don't know. I don't know. He doesn't know. I just took a stab in my head.

There is a reason, isn't there? I don't know. If we get enough guests on here asking the question, we're going to get to it. You realise, Deslo, that I ask the guests every week to ask you this. Yeah. If they're, like, why would I make up that there's not a reason? Like, if I had a reason, why wouldn't I just say that instead of sounding? You should make up a reason.

Yeah, but why would you make up that name without a reason? Why would you do that? I don't know. Like I said, I just remembered this, like, misremembered a thing about, like, our name or whatever. Yeah, I just. About the Allsops. Just did.

Just, you know. I do need to make up a reason, though. Yeah. There's a band that I really like called. I'd like it to be more like you did one gig with Allsop and Bob so badly That you had to change your name For the rest of your career What I want to do, because there's a band that I really like

Called Death and Above 1979 Who broke up but have recently reformed Anyway, they are a duo And every time they did an interview Being a duo, they'd always get asked How did you guys meet? And they would have like 8 different stories of like how they met that they would just roll out in all these different interviews.

So their Wikipedia page, like one of them's like, oh, we were both living in a nursing home. Oh, we worked on a ship together. So maybe it should be something like that where I just come up with a bunch of different places where Dasolo comes from. And then, yeah, every time a guest comes in, I can just say a different one on the end. Michelle Laurie does that with her name because people ask,

oh, it's a really interesting spelling. Is it from a different culture? Is it a different? She goes, like, she'll make up anything. One time I heard her saying, yeah, yeah, it's my Romany roots. The gypsies back in the old country. We, yeah, that's how they spell Michelle. No, it's not.

Friends of the show, get on the Facebook page or the Twitter feed and give Daslo some reasons. Give Daslo a story. Okay, one of them did one under Allsop and bombed at a gig. Bombed so badly they had to change his name. Had to blame it on the Italians. One that I thought of was maybe a cafe near my house used to have a sandwich called the Dasolo that I really liked, so I took that on.

I like that maybe you bomb at a gig and you go, what do you expect? It's not my first language. Okay. Witness protection could be another one. You've been shit-ass at that. You've said your old surname. That's true. That's true.

All right. Leave it, leave it to the others. Leave it to the fans. Leave it to the fans. Um, so Della, Della, Dolmada. Della Mata. Or Daily Farta as people used to call me. Yeah.

The hilarity of primary school. Never ends. So getting back to, um, getting back quickly to, uh getting back quickly to your show coming out, Outland, you've done a bunch of other TV stuff before. Yeah. You've been involved in a lot of, I'd say, a pretty varied catalogue. Yeah, I've done like morning television. I used to do 9am with David and Kim.

I was on Hey Hey It Saturday before it finished. Which one? The original. The original, okay. Not the new one. Not this Wednesday mockery. Not this Wednesday nonsense. Not that newfang original. Not the new one. Not this Wednesday mockery. Not this Wednesday nonsense. Not that newfangled world.

It's the same thing. I did stand up on there and then I got invited to do one of those stupid panel game things where you have to come up with a punchline and that was the week that it was announced that they were cancelling it. I was like, I've killed AA just by being here. What was that called?

One of those things where you have to have the name on your head and stuff like that. Oh, Celebrity Head. Celebrity Head, yeah. No, it wasn't that. I wish it was that. That looked easy. Yeah. Because all I could think of were dirty things for the answer.

Like, God, it's 6.30. What can I say? What can I say at 6.30? And John Blackman was laughing hysterically at the look on my face that I was about to say something revolting. Yeah, exactly. I mean, that's all he ever said. I know.

Something revolting. What else have I done? I've done heaps of weird stuff. Let us not forget Hole in the Wall. I did do Hole in the Wall. Oh, my God. Did you? With Jordan Rescopolis from Axis of Awesome and Jonathan Coleman.

So, you can imagine us three boombas in skin tight suits and the competing team was Shane Crawford, Matt Welsh and Ludi Torkey, the diver. So, you know. Who? Ludi Torkey? Ludi Torkey. That sounds like what should be the name of your podcast. She's a, yeah, she's an Olympic diver.

So yeah, three fit people and us boombas. Right. And like, it was fun to do at the time. It was, you know, it's a stupid show where, although they foolishly, those of you who don't know the concept, it's a big wall that's pink with a hole cut in it. And you have to make the shape of the hole while wearing a helmet and a silver jumpsuit.

Well, that's set up. And if you don't make the shape, then the wall pushes you into the pool. But if you do make the shape, you'll go through the hole. So hilariously, because we're all fat, all of our holes were impossibly thin. And we couldn't get through them. But what they didn't think through there at Channel 9 was that three fat people have a lot more mass than polystyrene walls. So the wall would hit us and smash to pieces and we'd be there going,

oh, I guess we should fall in the pool now in a comedic way. Oh, I've fallen over. I've lost my balance. That is crippling. Splash. But then I watched the show and they had this arsehole voiceover just making endless fat jokes. It's like we've agreed to do this boomba thing for you

in the silver jumpsuit, but... Is it a bit of a wipeout style where they pipe in that commentary later? Yeah, but on Wipeout, they're kind of fun with it. It's, you know, sort of, you know, it's kind of gentle ribbing. This was just actual nasty, hideous behaviour, and it was just, you know, that Channel 9 thing where it's like, oh, fat people are embarrassing and stupid. Yeah.

You know, women are dumb. But at least then you moved on to Celebrity Dog School? Celebrity Dog School, no, that was before Hole in the Wall. Oh, okay. Celebrity Dog School, which- Sorry to mess with the crap show chronology. Channel 10 asked me to do before, well, I didn't have a dog. My dog had died about eight months earlier.

Thanks for opening up old wounds, Channel 10. Yeah, sorry. Thanks. So I went and adopted one on the show. Oh, really? Like totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got this cute little white dog.

What about this? Ladies and gentlemen, we've just been gate crashed by a friend of the show. Without asking, he's put the headphones on already. And previous guest, Justin Hamilton, has just invited himself into the Dum Dum Club. This is what happens when you... Oh, g'day, dickheads. This is what happens when you never knew your father. You're just looking for male companionship for the rest of your life.

That's essentially what I do. You just wander around looking for some man to just sort of say, yeah, yeah, you're important. That's all I look for. That's all I care about. Hey, Ammo, you're in here on the tail end. Maybe you can help us out with something. We're talking about...

Jeez, Ammo's come in and Adam's just started packing his bag. He's like, that's it. Tag in, tag out. I don't know if I can take over.

I have radio equipment in my bag. I don't use headphones anyway. The last thing I need to do is hear me. He doesn't use seats. He stands up while he does this. Oh, yes. I've got the plug to plug you in.

All right. Hang on, are we still talking about the headphones? I've done plenty of those. I'm exhausted. I've got the plug to plug you in. All right. Hang on, are we still talking about the headphones? I've done plenty of those. I'm exhausted right now. That's why I jumped in. I've run out of, you know. Listeners, you are still on the Little Dumb Dumb Club

in case you haven't heard me or Dastlo for five minutes. This has now morphed into can you take this photo, please? Can you take this poofy, please? Yeah, yeah. Hey, so, Hammo, we're Can you take this poofy, please? Yeah, yeah. Hey, so, Hammo, we're... Put it in this hole here. Okay, sorry. Follow my finger.

Just guide it in. Jesus. Jeez, that was much easier than I thought. Being gay is simple. I love that you now plugged it in and you're not going to put them on. I'm not putting them on. Calm down, dicky knees. You plugged in the headphones.

We went to all that trouble. Now you're not going to use them. Gee, Mr. Summers, you're a cunt I've been very careful not to swear the whole time We have to go into training now We have to go into He really is good with his finger on that button, isn't he? Because he's a complete

Okay, so... You just sound like a phone that's broken. I've never seen that button before. It's the best button in the world. It's all over every other button. Wow. My whole career could have been different if I'd found that button a lot earlier.

Instead of the way that you write up. People are just going to think their iPods have broken. These shitty headphones. So, Hammo, before you got in here, we were talking about Dassolo being my fake name and how I kind of, I don't have a good reason for it. The name itself that I've just made up in my head when I was 16. And we're saying that I maybe need to come up with a bunch of different fake reasons. I thought you might have been coming up with, you know, a new name.

Maybe you could be Tommy Danger. Tommy Danger! Relaunch the brand. Yeah, how about Tommy Danger? Yeah, that would be good. And it would give you an actual reason why you changed it. That would be good. You'd start again.

What about Tommy Head? Tommy, don't touch that. Your mum will be annoyed. See, the thing about pushing the button is that it's funny in this room, but people listening can't see that you're pushing the button, so it's just going to sound ridiculous. Yeah, but people know it

when they hear it. Everyone knows what a head is. Also, it's quantum physics because it allows them to decide what the word is. Yeah. And so there's probably some people who are really nice listening to this who are thinking, oh, he's calling him a boofhead. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

But then there's probably some people out there who are thinking that you're calling him a head. Yeah. Just like Kyle Sander. See, that was cut out pretty well. Yeah, just like Kyle Sanderland. See, that was cut out pretty well. I could have been Kyle Sander anyone. Yeah, Kyle Sander.

The guy who bursts into houses and fucks off with all of the presents. Oh, I forgot the button. Why did you suddenly mention Kyle Sanderland's name when we haven't spoken about him at all in this entire show? I don't know why I brought that up. It came out of nowhere. That was weird. I did like before when Hamilton was setting up that he was going to do a joke that was going to involve pushing the button and then at the end you couldn't find the button.

I didn't know where it was. You just stopped speaking. I didn't know where it was. Microphones and women, I don't know where to press. I've got no idea. No idea. So have you got any ideas? Talking hetero.

I think he's just talking dirty. So have you got any ideas about fake justifications? Yeah, Deslo should be the name of an uncle who was... Who fingered you. No. He'd be touched by an uncle. Tommy Deslo's tragic story. If swam lead the button needs to be used and it's not used.

Oh, sorry. Who fingered you. Yeah. Wait a minute. So that's reminding me of something where he kills someone, takes on the name. What is that? That's a movie, isn't it?

You should know that, Dastlo. You're young. No, that's the face. He takes on the face. He takes on the face, you idiot. No, there's something else where he takes on the name of the person that he killed. Kills an Italian comedian and then. He's got the letter.

Oh, no, no, it's lost. It's like Sawyer. He could be like Sawyer. It's only your favourite show of all time. I can see how that slipped your mind. I was about to suggest that it was going to be fucking Dickie What's-Her-Face from that movie with Matt Damon and Jude Law.

Rhonda Birchmore. What's that one? Dickie What's-Her-Face. It's one of my favourite films. Yeah, Rhonda Birchmore killed her mum and took on that name even though she's a man. No, no, Ron. Ronald Birchmore. I reckon it's an uncle that you only got to meet a couple of times who is an archaeologist adventurer.

Archaeologist adventurer. Yeah, he's like Indiana Jones, but he gave you a jacket. He's Dickie Dazzalo. He's Dickie Dazzalo. Goes around flying bipeds and things like that. Bipeds? That's the new, that's it. That's the new decimation.

And he was just such a great guy. My uncle Dickie Dazzalo. Dickie Dazzalo. Everyone knows Dickie Dazzalo. Remember the Dickie Dazzalo adventures from the 30s? They were awesome. They were amazing. I like the new ones, the modern ones, the young Dickie Dasolo. Remember the Dickie Dasolo adventures from the 30s? They were awesome. They were amazing. I like the new ones, the modern ones, the young Dickie Dasolo adventures.

Oh, no. They ruined it. No, played by Elijah Wood. No, I didn't like the new Dickie Dasolo. He was my generation's Biggles. Here comes Dickie over the crest of the hill on his biped. He sure sounds like a woman, but he's a real man. Take that, ratsies.

Dickie Dessalo, he could disguise himself as a lady quite convincingly to escape from Nazi prisons. Anyway, I've got to go and do my movie review, so it's been great to catch up with all of you. Take care. Lovely hemo cameo. Cameo. Cameo.

I like to consider myself the Heather Locklear of this show. Justin Hamilton, everyone. All right, well, guys, that actually does bring us to the end of the program. Really? This has just gone goddamn ridiculous. Something very interesting here. This is what we call pear-shaped in the old money. Well, Adam and Richard, you so much for joining us.

See if we can retrieve any of this. It's going to be an interesting afternoon with Audacity open. That's for damn sure. Get your finger on the delete key and get ready to handle it. Don't delete when I say. Sorry, that's my favourite thing. Have you got anything to plug, Adam? I've given you a juicy softball right there, haven't I?

Well, I didn't want to plug either of you two, so I'm going to think I'll find someone. Hey! No, just our podcast. Talking Poofy. TalkingPoofy.com.au. Outland will be on sometime. Sometime. Bring the ABC and harass them. Back to back with Fleety's show on TV Narnia! Yes!

TV Narnia! I love when they show TV, shooting them back of the cupboard With Tommy Little in you Well guys thanks so much For listening to the show If you've got any fan art Or letters

Or you want to get in touch With this little dum-dum club Or any Deslo backstories I haven't done your iTunes Thing of the week Oh yeah we haven't had it This week Oh get on to the iTunes guys

Get on the iTunes Yeah we'll see you soon That went well that was fine even though we were sick so that's just how powerful we are in the studio

thanks for listening to us whether you've downloaded or you're listening on Barry yeah we'll see you guys next week take care of yourselves and may God be with you see you mate

see you mate bye