The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 45 - Danny McGinlay

Episode Date: August 8, 2011

Ernie & Bert, Formal Bike Shorts and Peter Warsaw. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates! Welcome into the Little Dumb Dumb Club. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting opposite me is my co-host Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead! Now let's explain what's going on there. We tried to start the show several times and had to stop and restart because apparently my second and third haymates were not as good as my first one. The energy levels weren't up. Yeah. I came out strong and then I sort of got scared and then I backed away.

Yeah. Hey, how about this? I'll tell you this very early on. Now, a week ago, just after the last episode, I finished a gig and look, this never happens, but the gig finished and we wanted to have one more drink and the only place around with one more drink was a strip club. And I think it's the third time I've ever been in a strip club. So we went in and we shouted friend of the show.

Yes. Luke McGregor. Previous guest of the show. Yes. Luke McGregor. Uh-huh. Previous guest of the show. Yes, friend of the show. A lap dance. Yes. Which was good for him.

It was good of you. Yep. Now, while that happened, because this stripper came up and hassled us really hard, you know, that whole, and I think she was a fake Russian. Like, she was Russian. A Russian. Yes. I think she was pretending to be more exotic and make you think, oh, this is a great exotic

strip club instead of something that's under the 7-Eleven on the corner of Flinders and Elizabeth Street. Okay. Yeah, right. That one. So she put on the big sell job and we went, okay, yeah, yeah. Sell job. Yeah, yeah.

I want $100 worth of McGregor awkwardness. And so as she was rubbing her lithe naked body over McGregor's pale frame, we were like watching that happen. And then another stripper girl came up and started going, oh, excuse me. And I go, oh, look, look, we're kind of busy here. We've paid our money already. We're just watching our friend.

Our friend's got, you know, got the money involved over there. And she goes, oh, no no are you Carl Chandler? and I went, well yes I am what? I was recognised by a half naked woman in a strip club on the job from where? where did she know you from?

I think she's a friend of the show what about this? what about next episode the next live episode that we do, do it down the strippers? Do you reckon they'll let us in? I don't know, meaning no. Oh, okay.

But Fantasia, if you're listening to the show right now, that wasn't a no. I didn't take a no. Well, maybe, I mean, you're saying you think that other girl was like a fake Russian to try and entice you to spend more money. Maybe they have fake friends of the show down there. Oh, no. Because everyone has a podcast now, so they could just presume if they say that to everyone at least eight times out of ten,

they'd be right. What if they said, hey, are you Carl Chandler? They've tried that like a thousand times and they finally jackpotted. Yeah, I saw you earlier that night and you were wearing your big I'm Carl Chandler T-shirt that you've had made up specially. So anyway, I thought that was awesome that I've been recognised by someone wearing bra and panties, which is pretty good. That's amazing.

Yeah. And you were just giving Luke McGregor shit and she went, I know that voice. Yeah. I'd know that tone anyway. And she knew who Luke was as well. Of course. She's a friend of the show. Yeah.

Wow. We still have to interview her. Yeah. We really get desperate for guests. Hey! You bastards. I. When we really get desperate for guests. Hey! You bastards. I said when we really get desperate. Well, I guess on the show today was actually... We've got Fantasia.

No. Was actually present with me the last time I was at the strippers. Oh. Were you? Was I? Is that the best plug that a guest has ever been given? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Please welcome into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Danny McGinley. Yay! We did. We went to the strippers together in Adelaide. Yeah, yeah. Please welcome into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Danny McGinley. Yay! We did. We went to the strippers together in Adelaide. That's right. There was a big group of us. Do you know what's awkward? I was working with some showgirls today.

Oh. I have a good friend who's in the- Awkward like it's a conflict of interest. No, it's just going to sound like McGinley's a stripper fiend. Right. And I try to deny that. I have a very good friend who's in the finals of Miss Nude Australia and we

had a fundraiser today for her and I hosted it. Hang on, hang on. You had a fundraiser for her? It's not like you're buying her new clothes. Where are the funds going? When you're in Miss Nude Australia, it's not like going to the final of Raw Comedy. The Miss Nude Australia festival doesn't fly you in

to where the final is. This year it's in Adelaide. So you had to raise $39. It's actually a three-day event, the finals of Miss Nude Australia. She's been telling me she's got to do like five different shows and all her costumes are really elaborate and stuff. She's got telling me she's got to do like five different shows. And all her costumes are really elaborate and stuff. She's got a butterfly show.

There's like a 18th century show. There's an Ernie and Bert show. What? Even if you are not into it. Hang on. I'm just pulling this up for the fact that it's Bert and Ernie, not Ernie and Bert. It's not.

It's Ernie and Bert. No, it's not. Ernie's always on the left. No, it's Bert and Ernie. This is sounding like a classic Costello and Abbott skit at the moment. Hang on, I've just got to pop out for some vinegar and salt chips. You're off your head. I would like to have these chips with some fish on top of them, please.

It's never been Bert and Ernie. Yes, it has. It's been nothing but. You're off your head. No, no. I'm going to have to side with Carl on this one. Yeah, were you homeschooled? What's going on?

Did you have your TV upside down? That might have been it, actually. Do you guys get any... People, email the show if you're with me. I think it's Ernie and Bert. Okay, yeah, sure. If you reckon it's Ernie and Bert. Let's see if we can get one person in agreement.

That's all we need. Just one. There's a Twitter for this, isn't there? This is the most hated argument that's ever been held on the show, and it's any of us? Let's see if we can get one person in agreement. That's all we need. Just one. There's a Twitter for this, isn't there? This is the most hated argument that's ever been had on the show, and it's about puppets. And it came from strippers. We have a good discussion about strippers. The only thing that we properly get angry about is the proper order

of the cast of Sesame Street. Yeah, we have a Twitter, at dumdumclub on Twitter. So anyway, you were raising money to get some girl a pie floater. To get me. And what happened next? Do you know what was weird, though? It was at the Royal Hotel, which Melburnians will know. Sorry, the Hotel Royal, thanks.

What are we, fucking European? It's at the Hotel Royal, which Melburn Melburnians will know, is the bar opposite the MCG, where they have topless waitresses there on match day. And so it was a really weird gig, because I know my friend who's in Miss New Australia, because she also does burlesque, and I host burlesque nights as well as stand-up comedy. And so half the crowd were the regular punters who were at the Royal every day hoping to see some, you know, some norgs. And then there was the burlesque crowd. So all these guys with, you know, floopy hair and girls and corsets and stuff and being all, you know, jive bunny and whatnot.

The Bloods and the Crips. Well, do you know what's creepy? They got along like a house on fire. We were thinking it's going to be rough because I MC'd today and it was only burlesque today, so it was all about the tees and no one was fully naked. A lot of tassels a go-go. A lot of tassels a go-go, yep.

And we're thinking, oh, these guys are going to get angry because they're used to girls getting fully naked out there. They do all sorts of raunchy shows. And because the burlesque shows were like, there's humor in them. They put on an act. There's usually a story within it. The costumes are great. The guys were cheering.

They were so sick of this vanilla strippers. They loved the burlesque. Just want a bit of plot. Yeah. I've been thinking about getting tassels and just kind of wearing them like recreationally, like under my clothes. Tommy Tasselo. Yeah, there we go.

So you reckon that'd be nice? Or Tommy Talsop. That doesn't make any sense. Just feeling the occasional kind of brush against the chest. No, because you've got to double side and tape them to your nipples. And that hurts a lot. Do you have body hair? Yes.

Yeah, it hurts, because in the burlesque shows, I can actually twirl tassels on my nipples. Yeah, I've never admitted that to any other comedians, but yeah, and I can teach you how to do it. Really? Yeah. Kind of a master class. My girlfriend went to one of those things last night, like a class. She was at a hen's night

and they went to a pole dancing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I don't know. I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. Is that... Why would it be a bad thing?

Well, I haven't talked to her yet about like what happened. Like, is there any... I don't know if there's like a prac that goes on there with... Yeah, she would learn to do some tricks and stuff. There's no nudity in that.

Isn't there? No. Oh, okay. Well, that's good. Well, I don't know do some tricks and stuff. There's no nudity in that. Isn't there? No. Oh, okay. Well, that's good. Well, I don't know. I don't know. If you go home tonight and just stuff money into her underpants, she'll handle it like a pro.

Absolutely. Speaking of hen's night, I went out for dinner last night at Taco Bill and there was a hen's night there at Taco Bill. Is that the worst place to start off a hen's night? I don't know. Is that kind of sad? If you say it's your birthday, you get the sombrero. What did they get?

Did they get a sombrero shaped as a penis or something? I don't know. Yeah, what is it about just the whole penis thing about Hintz Nights and stuff? Yeah, you're right. It's worse. You don't go on a Bucks night and get a cake shaped like boobs. Yeah, you do. Does it?

Some guys do, yeah. I don't think that does happen. Well, you don't go to Taco Bill on your Bucks night and get a burrito that looks like a... Or maybe you do. At my brother's Bucks night, he didn't want any strippers or anything, and we rented a... Because you're going to have a Bucks night coming up. I am having a Bucks night coming up. So what sort of... Oh, anyway.

I'll tell you, my brother, we got a little cottage in the middle of the woods. It was actually pretty big. It was like there was about... Like an Evil Dead themed Bucks night. Evil Dead, except there was about 60 of us. But, you know, no girls. We played football then around the campfire singing songs. He's a hippie, my brother.

But, you know, he didn't want any girls or anything. And he's hardcore into his blues and roots and jazz and stuff. So I spent a week photoshopping faces of his favourite musicians onto naked women. So, you know, there's Lyle Lovett with his norgs out. Just to ruin both of them for you at the same time. Good kids. Sweet move.

We just stuck that all around the house before he saw it. Well, that would have given him something to do, rip it all down and yell at you for wasting your time. So that would have been good. But what about you? So you're getting married soon, ish? I am engaged, yes. Sorry, everyone.

Have you set a date? June 9. Oh, really? 2012. Right. So what sort of Bucks night do you want to have? Well, I don't want... I do have...

I do know what I want, but it's going to make me sound like, you know, McGinley's a fiend for the strippers. Is it strippers? I think my whole thing with strippers is I would love to go to a strip club where you actually, rather than just give them money and they take their clothes off, you, like, earn it through some sort of challenge.

Oh, yeah. Like a computer game. Yeah, exactly. That's what I've grown up on. Like Lois, you're suit Larry. Exactly. Thank you, Kyle Chandler. Like a computer game. Yeah, exactly. That's what I've grown up on. Like Lois' suit Larry. Exactly. Thank you, Kyle Chandler. You're understanding me.

So I want to get, like, mini golf or... So you've got to go down to the 7-Eleven and find, you know, a drink. Yeah, it's like the Amazing Race. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Or they set... I mean, my dream Bucks night would be you walk into the strip club and they've set it up like a physical challenge from Double Dare. Oh, right. Oh, okay.

And we go through all that. And now I end up covered in slime. But for every challenge I get right, article of clothing comes off. Right. So it's like the wipeout. Double Dare. That would rock, yeah. Double Dare poker.

Double Dare. It's a shit poker. Well, Danny, not wanting to, this is a bit of a surprise. We had planned, but you're not sure what you want to do for your buck sign. This is it right now. Get out of the tassels, that's life. Have you got a date set for the Bucks night? At this point, me and Carl are just trying to ascertain whether or not we're invited.

Oh, yeah, you guys are invited. Yeah. All the friends of the show are invited. Oh, really? Yeah, why not? Dumb, dumb Bucks night. I've never been to a Bucks night before. Ever? Ever. Really? I only went to've never been to a Bucks night before. Ever?

Ever. Really? I only went to my first one like a year ago. Yeah. You guys don't have many friends. No. Or no married friends. Yeah, exactly.

All our friends are deadbeats. Commitment phobes are the people that we befriend. All gay. So I'm going to New York very soon for a lot of Bucks nights. Well, speaking of, well, nothing to do with what we're talking about, or, you know, occasions, formal occasions. I went a couple of days ago, I went to a funeral, which, you know, that's okay.

You know, you have to go to things like that in some states. I was in Mirabar, so I was in my hometown. Oh, right. Do we want to send out a, you know, condolence to? No, like that at some stage. I was in Maryborough, so I was in my hometown. Oh, right. Do we want to send out a condolence? No, that's okay. You had no idea who they were, did you? Yes, I did. It was like jury duty.

No. You get Mary, Barry, they just assume everyone knows and you all have to go, otherwise the town diminishes. No, I'm having a little bit of respect. Just for one second, I'll just leave this there. It's a hell of a gamble to make fun of someone for talking about a funeral when they haven't said who and you don't know who it could have been. Mum and dad were raped and killed, but anyway, cool.

Appreciate your help. If I can just have a moment. And I'm back. All right. So I went to a funeral, and I've mentioned that I live in Maribor and what sort of a place it is over time. Now, is this something, you know when you go to a wedding and you see someone that's a little bit underdressed or whatever, and you go, oh, really?

Because, you know, I don't know, have you guys ever been underdressed to a wedding or something like that, and you feel a little bit awkward? I've been to a few weddings in Brisbane, where my family, having all grown up in Melbourne, we're often wearing, we're down to our, I don't know, I'll take my jacket off and everyone else is shivering. Right. That's as close as I've got. Right, right.

Rubbish. I've been to a wedding once where I sort of didn't have a proper jacket, so I had the nice pants and nice shirt, and it was really cold and i just had to steal myself because the only other thing i had was like a a white uh hoodie which is not going to look good at a wedding i thought that was pretty bad you're not supposed to wear white the bride will be upstairs yeah exactly and if it was after labor day that's just double wrong yeah so anyway i went to this wedding and this is there was a girl there you mean funeral I meant funeral sorry I went to

this funeral there was a girl in the chapel is it the chapel still when it's a funeral yeah no it is it's always a chapel

went to his funeral there was a girl in the chapel and she was wearing bike shorts bike shorts at the funeral yeah that's no good so I was just thinking what so just micro figure hugging Bike shorts. At the funeral. Yeah, that's no good.

I was just thinking, what? So just lycra figure hugging down to the knees. Yeah. Were they black at least? No. That's just rude. I've got a follow-up. Do you reckon she rode a bike too?

I don't know if that makes it better or worse. I think it would have to be a BMX because I think she was about 10. Oh, well, hang on. This makes it a fair bit more forgivable. So you didn't get long pants until you were 10 or 12. Is that what you're saying? I'm just saying if I'm going to a funeral, the first thing I'm not doing is critiquing the fashion of the under 12s. To be fair, the rules of fashion and dressing up and stuff

don't really apply to kids. Bike shorts, though. I just sort of thought. You think you can pull that off, sister? I just think if you're wearing bike shorts, if that's your most formal dress, what are you wearing on the other days? I love that you're getting stuck into her. I'd say it's more her parents.

She doesn't know. Yeah. Anyway, it just struck me. It's a fairly ridiculous thing to see. Anyone wearing bike shorts at a funeral. Unless it was Lance Armstrong that died or something. I don't know. Is Lance Armstrong from Maryborough?

Is that who you know? No. Do you know who Lance Armstrong is? Klang, yeah. Okay, good. He's not from Klang. You're growing up. So anyway, here's the next thing.

Right. So I'm in Maryborough and you get to see people you haven't seen for a long time. And you know that thing when you catch up with people and like especially people you went to school with and stuff and you start talking about other people that you haven't seen and it's sort of like, oh, did you hear about, you know, Macca? He's a doctor now. Or did you hear about, you know, Smithy? He lives in London or whatever.

You know, it's good to hear about what other people have done and it's quite. Classic Smithy. Yeah. Yeah. You're always it's good to hear about what other people have done. Classic Smithy. Yeah, yeah. You're always on about bloody going over there. Dr. Macca, that's where I go whenever I'm in Maryborough. So, we were talking about stuff like that, and he said, and I'll change the name to protect the people involved. You can say it's Macca.

No, it's not Macca. I'll say, my friend said to me, oh, did you hear about Wobbsy? That's not his real name. That's not his real name. Just for the story, his name's Wobbsy. Did you hear about Wobbsy? And I'm like, no. Who Wobbsy was, was.

I'm going to keep saying Wobbsy. Turn it into a nursery rhyme. Who Wobbsy was, was. I'm dizzy. Wobbsy's wobbed a bank. Yeah, yeah. So Wobbsy, he, what he was, he was like a bully. Yeah, this doesn't come across right at all. How did he get away with the bullying?

He's the bully, isn't he? Oh, no, Wobbsy's coming. Quick, he's going to tickle us. What's another name for a bully? Nelson. No, we've come this far. Just stick with Wobbsy. No, I'm changing it.

It's not going to help the story. Jimbo Jones. Dolph Kearney. Let's call him Jimbo. All right, Jimbo. Jimbo's a bully. He goes, yeah, did you hear about Jim No, I'm changing it. It's not going to help the story. Jimbo Jones. Dolph Kearney. Let's call him Jimbo. All right, Jimbo. Jimbo's a bully. He goes, yeah, did

you hear about Jimbo? I said, no. And he was a bully that used to, he was a skinhead and he'd bash people at parties. That was more Dolph. Pretty psychotic.

We're sticking with Jimbo. He's pretty psychotic. Right. They said, did you hear about Jimbo? I said, no. They said, I heard

that he's gay. And I was like, oh wow. Because it's, it's quite, you know, the opposite of the way he portrayed himself back in school. And it's,

you know, it's a different little news story. It's like, oh, right. I said, well, how,

how do you know that? And he goes, well, I wasn't there, but I heard the story, right? Some people went to the pub and Jimbo was there with this other guy. And this other guy hugged a couple of guys while they were there.

Scoop. And I go, is that? Columbo lives in Maryborough. And I go, is that the whole story? He goes, yeah. Oh, and another mate was drinking with Jimbo all night one night, and then Jimbo said to him, hey, I'm gay. And I went, you should lead with that story.

You know what they've done? They've McGinley'd it. They've got the order all wrong. Hey, hey. Well, you don't need Exhibit A if you've got Exhibit B. Like, it should be the other way around. That's very good. Yeah, that's ridiculous. Oh, and here's the third piece of information.

I sucked his dick. Yeah. He's in my rectum. That's him down there now. I love it, yeah, if that third bit came, like, two days later, he calls you up, like, oh, by the way, I forgot that last bit of the story. I ran into an old teacher once at a pub, a primary school teacher.

And we barely recognized her. My mate was actually trying to pick her up and said, what do you do? She said, I'm a teacher. Where do you teach? And she said, my old primary school. And I went, Wobbsy? You know, I'll change the name. And I said, so she was looking, you know, she glammed up.

And I said, look at you on the prowl. What happened to your husband? She goes, oh, we're still together for the kids, but we're not really together. I go, oh, that's strange. She goes, yeah, he's into boys. I went, oh, okay. She goes, oh, and guess who he brought home last week

and mentioned another student who was in my class. Oh, wow. So can you imagine being, you know, you pick up a hot older guy at a gay club and he takes you home and there's your grade five teacher. He's going, oh, is this who you've picked up? Yeah, you'd be there just going, did I eat too much cheese before bed? Because this is like a weird, yeah. Now I've got my biology teacher in bed with me showing a bit of new gear.

Wow, that's insane. Yeah. That's great. Because I was out not long after I finished high school with a mate, and our old drama teacher was there and a bit drunk and was sort of trying it on with my friend. Wow. And he had a girlfriend at the time, but it was sort of, you know, they were sort of looking

like they were going to break up. And I was just saying, man, you've got to do this. Because, you know, at every high school, there's the rumor about, oh, did you hear about, you know, Wobbsy, how he boned the- Mr. Wobbsy. Mr. Wobbsy, about how he boned that teacher. And I was like, so you've got to do this. Is your friend, was this a male drama teacher, female drama teacher?

No, so my friend, male friend, and then female drama teacher. Okay, right, right, right. I thought you were talking your mate into, you've got to turn gay just to shag the drama teacher.

Yeah, it's a good story. We can tell everyone that you're gay now. Or maybe you can just hug a guy and we can tell them that. Make the easy route. Hugsie. But I was just saying, you can be that legend.

Do you know what I mean? Everyone wants to leave a legacy on this earth. Imagine being that one guy that everyone talks about at the high school. Oh, she banged an ex-student once. Do you know any bit of that? Yeah. How was she regarded at high school? Was she the hot teacher or was she?

She was okay, I think, from memory. She was fine. She was good. I don't think he's going to be the legend then. I think he's going to be the, ah. Yeah. You know that okay one from school? Well, she got 10 years older and I banged her.

Yeah, I don't, I don't, yeah, she was good looking. All right. But I was not, this is when, this is the teacher from the. What did she teach? Drama. Oh, drama. She was like the drama assistant, you know, like it would come in. Oh, the drama assistant was always pretty hot.

Yeah, yeah. But I wasn't as aware of it because, to be honest, this was when she was a teacher that I had at school when I was at a co-ed school in year 11 and 12. And before that, I'd been in an all-boys school. And I think you're more aware of hot teachers when you're at a single-sex school because then if you co-ed, then you've got the...

When you're in an all-boys school, do you have female teachers? Yeah. Oh, really? Yes. That's weird. Is it? Is it weird? It seems weird.

Were you co-ed all through school? Yes. Yeah, same here. I was at Maryborough High School. We were lucky to have doors in the room, let alone any structure of stuff like that. Little bike shorts for your school uniform. Oh, hey. Only on sad days.

I don't think it's weird that it exists as a thing. I think it would be a pretty intense thing for a female teacher to do. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, if you're there and you've been taken away, I mean, I guess the point of not having a co-ed school is to take all that distraction away.

Absolutely. Is that what it is? But it only works for girls, apparently. Like, boys at single-sex schools do worse than boys at co-ed schools, whereas girls do better at single-sex schools and worse at co-ed schools. Yeah, right. So boys are distracting the girls. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Yeah. I certainly found co-ed better in a way that I didn't find it. I found it was not distracting or anything at all because I had that same sort of idea. I didn't have the idea, but people would say, oh, yeah. But I think some people have the idea that if you've got a co-ed school, people that subscribe to the idea of single sex schools think that a co-ed school is just going to be a round-the-clock fuckfest all the time. And it's just not.

No, God, no. Explicitly not. Hey, guys, I went to some stuff at the film festival over the weekend and last weekend. Did you guys see anything? I was really miffed. I missed it. Thank you. Editing suite.

Did you guys see anything? Did you guys go to anything? No. Really? No, I've been away. Right. Oh, fair enough. I missed it all.

I don't think I even picked up the program guide this year. There's some good stuff. I went to see a film last weekend and before it started, I'm someone who during trailers, I've got no respect for trailers. I'll arc up. I'll talk to people. No.

I don't like the trailers. Trailers are the best bit. I like them. It's not that I don't like them, but I don't think it's bad to talk during trailers. That's what the ads are there for. Talk during the ads. Don't talk during the trailers. My point is, once the film's on, I'm silent.

I'm not a talker during a movie. My point is, once the film's on, I'm silent. I'm not a talker during a movie. Up until you see the studio logo, I'm going hell for leather. As soon as a bit of Warner Brothers has come on, then I'm off, right? I've got to agree with you. Just say that anyone who talks in a film, and I say this knowing that this is a public forum, if you talk during a film, kill yourself.

Oh, yes, you should absolutely do that. You know when you buy a ticket to a film and they say, where do you want to sit? I always say, away from people. Yes, you should kill yourself and then I will not even do you the honour of wearing bike shorts to your film. So we're seeing this film at MIFF and it's the ads before and I'm carrying on like a right dickhead. So I'm there with two friends of mine. There's two empty seats next to me. A couple have come and sat down and I'm just absolutely being an idiot. Like I'm going, oh, man, I hope this Captain America's as good as I've heard.

You know what they should do? They should make Captain Australia where he's just like got no shirt on, Aussie flag around his neck, a KFC bucket on his head, just going crazy, right? And then at one point, as I'm saying that, the couple have turned next to each other, given each other a nod, gotten up and moved seats. Yes! Which hurt me because I was literally seconds away from turning to them and going, guys, I promise I will not be like this once the film's done. I can smell the fear.

It's going to be fine. And then you were kind of obligated to remain in character just to spite them for moving away from you? Yeah, kind of. Yeah, I wanted to get up and follow them because the cinema wasn't that full. You think you can get away, do you? Have you ever seen a movie by yourself completely? I've done it once when I was overseas. I went and saw Ratatouille on my own.

In New York? Yeah. Wow. I've never seen a kid's film by myself. That would be dodgy. Yeah, that would be. I saw a film on Sunday by myself. Really?

Yeah, I did. Because I'm on tour a lot of the time. And yeah, so I'll find a film that I know that no one else in their right mind would want to see. Like I saw Fantastic Four, Rise of the Silver Surfer by myself. On the weekend? No, no, no. On the weekend I saw. They're still playing in Queensland.

Yeah, they're really far behind. We're really excited about Star Wars. It's going really well after all this time. Yeah, it's their avatar. I don't go really on my own. It's not that I have anything against it. I just sort of never... I never think to.

Do you know what I mean? If I'm on my own and I'm bored, it never comes up. If I'm going to watch a movie on my own, I either download something or I rent something or I put a DVD. For me, watching a film on your own is a home thing. I kind of, yeah, I sort of never think to leave my house to sit in a room on my own. Well, I was, we were just talking briefly about this before the show started. I bought a TV today.

Did you? And it's a massive one. It bought a TV today. Did you? And it's a massive one. It's a TV that is slightly bigger than my house. So it'll be interesting to deliver. LCD, plasma? Is there something new now? No. LED or LCD?

See, that could be a new thing now. It might be a new thing. Yeah. Who knows? Is LED a clock radio? I think LCD is just... LED is just... Light to make it a diode.

Yeah, LED is a clock radio. Okay, well, that's what it was. Oh, sweet. So you've got a massive, massive clock radio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's bigger than his house. Right. Yeah, like those clocks they make for old people.

Like, the numbers are giant. Yeah. So they can see them. That's it. Grandfather clock. Yeah. No, but it is a huge TV. It is massive.

And I don't know. I feel weird about it because my girlfriend was quite keen on getting it because she likes to watch movies. But for me, I sort of work from home during the day and I spend my time watching Married With Children and stuff like that. Yeah, nothing wrong with that. It's really not – I really can't justify watching Married With Children on a 64-inch screen. Just, well, you know, you've got a bit of Perfect Strangers straight after that. Yeah. You know, you want – Massive Bronson Pinchot.

Balky's antics are best seen in high definition. I might have been missing something all these years. Oh, there's a lot of subtlety in Perfect Strangers. It's the show that keeps on giving. You know what you will find? I found this when I bought a big TV about a year ago, a couple of years ago now, and I went from a pretty small TV to a widescreen. You find that you start to get the shits anytime something is on TV

that is not in widescreen. Because you're like, what a waste. What do I pay all this money for if I'm just going to be looking at little black strips the whole time? I did that thing that I'm sure other people do it, but you talk to the staff and whatever, and they sell you. You know they're making commission on the TV, and you're trying to get the price down.

You're talking to them for ages, and then you go, okay, we're just going to go and make up our minds and just go, and he's trying to get the sale then. We're like, yeah, we're just going to go out of the shop for a minute, and he's like, yeah, okay. Well, it was nice meeting you, and we're like, no, no, we're coming back. Yeah, yep. See you later. My name's Brad, and it's been nice meeting you. And we're like, no, no, we're coming back. Yeah, yep. See you later.

My name's Brad, and it's been nice knowing you. I'm like, I'm coming back. I'm telling you. And he's like ragging me going, nah, last I've seen of you, your word's worth nothing. You have no honor. Yeah, as if you're going to buy a TV. Your children will hate you.

Yeah, you'd be hard-pressed to get out there and buy a flake. You're not buying a 64-inch TV. And then just to spite him, did you go across the road to the good guys and get the exact same model? Yeah, I'd come back in the day and go, what do you reckon about this? Yeah, I came back in smoking it like a cigar. You were like Pretty Woman.

Yeah, I'm nearly out of this. You should sell me another one, mate. I've got a 10-a-day habit. I bought a new bed about five years ago now. LED or? Yeah, plasma bed. Right. I went out to, I think, a fantastic furniture out in Woop Woop or whatever.

That's good when you get to buy furniture and you have to go out on furniture row. It was fun. It was a fun time. They have that weird thing where it's just all beds, like a suburb is all beds. Yeah, it's great. Or all lamps. Yeah, yeah. So we're out at this place and we're looking at one and I was with my girlfriend at the time.

Sorry, but it gets to that bit where you know when you buy something of a certain price, you start having to be like a connoisseur of whatever it is. Yeah. Like you're buying a bed and it's like, I've never thought about my bed before in my whole life. Absolutely, yeah. But now that you're spending two grand on it, you've got to go, oh yeah, but the headboard's a little bit thinner than that headboard.

Yeah, and you're good for giving- Can I live with that? Yeah, you're good for giving people advice on it for about a month after you've got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you forget. Like me with the TV, you will find, I don't know, well, you might not, but I knew exactly how big my TV was for a few months after I got it and now I couldn't tell you because you throw it around so much and then all of a sudden you forget.

That's it. And it expands and contracts depending on who you're talking to. Yeah, and I'm checking all the pixels per inch or whatever it is, going, yeah, but it's not the same as a Toshiba. I'm like... So anyway, we're bed shopping, me with my then girlfriend, and this guy comes along and we're talking to him about it and he's sort of talking up the deal and it'll cost you this much.

And my girlfriend starts kind of doing a bit of haggling and going, how about maybe if you give it to us all for this much? The sales assistant pauses, eyeballs my girlfriend and goes, are you a wog? Oh, wow. What? Which, to be fair, I mean, she is half Italian, so yes, she is. Yeah, she did have a big red hat with the letter M on it and ate a mushroom and doubled

in size. And she just went, yeah, And he goes, knew it. Let me go talk to the boss. Comes back and goes, yep. All right. It's yours for that much. Oh, really? Yeah.

It's like some sort of weird. So as long as he can call you a racial slur, you get a discount. Yeah. Not me, my girlfriend. Oh, I'm just terribly sorry. He can say what he wants to. I don't care. I'm getting a cheap bed.

Did he just go away going, got some mafia chick out there. Yeah. wants to. I don't care. I'm getting a cheap bed. Did he just go away going, got some mafia chick out there? Yeah, she's going to whack a horse's head in this bed and take off without buying it if we don't give her the low price. Look, boss, I don't know for sure, but I think Nick Gianopolis is here. And we'd better give him a lower price because apparently he's out of work.

That's a fair gamble to take, though, just chucking that at someone. Are you a wog? Are you a wog? Yeah. Straight to someone's face that you've met all of about 18 seconds ago. That'd be awesome if they had the price list on the thing. Adults, pensioners, children are wogs. Yeah.

Is there some minority that gets it even sweeter, Price? Cripples. Are you a Central African? Oh, I'm from Uganda. That's in the east. Piss off. Do you hug other people? Do you get the gay discount?

Maybe he's just based that on, maybe he's got the same kind of method as your mates from Maryborough for finding out if she's a wog. Oh, she's definitely a wog. No, she's wearing purple shoes. Yeah, yeah. Looking for a cheaper bed. Go back to fucking Turkey.

Actually, what he did is he just went back out to the room. They've actually got a guess who board in there, and he just put down female wog. Yep, done. All right, I'm almost finished. Well, see, that annoys me. I'd be very interested to see if Barry Radio decide to bleep the word wog or not when they play this.

So, yeah, I did all that today, and, you know, you do a bit of haggling and whatever it is, and my girlfriend stood side by side with me the whole time, and then when we'd go away, she'd go, oh, tell him to get it for cheaper. And I'm like, cheaper than what? And she's like, oh, I don't know, what price are we up to? And I'm like, what do you what? And she's like, oh, I don't know. What price are we up to? And I'm like, what do you mean?

She's like, oh, I didn't listen to any of it. I'm like, yeah, so your advice without hearing any of it was just to go get it cheaper. Yeah. He was actually. I did get it cheaper. He's giving it to us for free and he's throwing in a $5,000 check. Get it cheaper. Yeah.

That's what it was. I feel like haggling at JB and stuff is a fairly recent thing. Like, that never really used to happen in department stores, did it? Or is that just... I don't know. Well, I never used to do it. But then, you know, you just... It's built into it.

Like, as far as I know, it's just a thing. If you automatically say... As far as I know, if you go up to someone and automatically say, like, can you just get rid of the set amount of money that we know you're going to get rid of? They go, okay, that's gone. Now let's do business. But there's this whole kind of pretense around it, like this little song and dance that you

have to do. Yeah, well, I don't think there is. I just walked up and went, can we get rid of that other money? And he's like, yep. Oh, you've cracked the code. Yeah. I saw my friend do it. I'm like, okay.

They've got an automatic amount of money they take off before you even, like, suckers that don't know the little secret hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad used to go into, like, Target and buy, like, underpants and ties, and then they'd be like, that's 30 bucks, and he'd go, I'll give you 25. Oh, really? Not in a Bangladeshi marketplace. Haggling at Target?

Yeah, yeah. Wow, that's amazing. Did it ever work? What do you reckon? Of course it didn't work. The 14-year-olds on the till probably didn't know how to haggle with that. Yeah, to be fair, yeah. That's funny. Getting back to the film festival thing, I did,

I went and saw the closing film last night and I think there's this weird thing where I think there's this kind of idea that film festival audiences are maybe a bit better than your average cinema going audience. How dare you, sir? Are you telling me that the guys who answered their phones

during Rush Hour 3 were not cinema auteurs? See, this is my point. The bloke that was into Captain Australia wasn't good enough to go into that. But see, this is my point because that's the perception or the idea and in my experience, they're worse. Film festival audiences are worse.

Yeah. But worse in a way that's like I'm fine with it because I can enjoy it in a certain way. So like last night, I went to the closing film of the festival. It's called Drive. It's got Ryan Gosling in it. And it's the best film I've seen this year. So go see it when it comes out. It's great.

But it's the best film I've seen this year, so go see it when it comes out. It's great. But it's ultra-violent and there's a bit where there's a bit of a shootout in a hotel room. Someone gets shot. Someone gets stabbed. There's a lot of blood everywhere. Really tense action for about 15 seconds. Just someone cops it in the chest and then blood goes everywhere and suddenly there's silence and a guy behind me just goes,

Yes! I'm like, is this the highest of... then blood goes everywhere, and suddenly there's silence, and a guy behind me just goes, yes! I'm like, is this the highest of... But so there's that, right? And also, so it's a very violent film, right? And because it's the closing film, they get someone to come and introduce it. Have a guess who they've gotten to introduce this film. Chopper. No.

Oh. Close. Adam Elliott. Oh! So we've got a film where someone gets their head blown clean off their shoulders by a bloody double-barreled shotgun. I have seen the director's cut of Harvey Crumpet. Yeah, exactly.

Who better to introduce it than a bloke who makes films with his little clay puppets? Maybe David Strassman could have come in and done it. Wallace and Gromit. Yeah, shit, there's Gromit. What about Ernie and Bert? Stallwarts, they are. Because I went to the after party afterwards and Elliot was there and I got a bit drunk and I had to keep, because I kept seeing it,

he kept being near me and I would have to remove myself from his vicinity because I kept thinking in my head how funny it would be if I went up to him pretending that I thought the film had been one of his movies. Oh, nice. Man, it's so good that you've gotten edgy and the way that you get those clay figures to stab each other and make it look real, that's awesome.

Animation is sick. That's good. You'd be fun to go to the movies with. I love in-jokes that you have at the cinema. I'll tend to go... Oh, I'm crazy for it. I tend to go with my mate and we've got an in-joke if whenever we see a trailer for a film that we know is going to be big,

we don't actually say anything, but we'll turn to each other and go, Brian Brown. Or say it's like Men in Black 2, Men in Black 3. We go, Will Smith. Aliens. No, that's why I've got a thing about talking in trailers I love dickheading it up

I went and saw I love trailers because I'm always like I love that idea of this is coming soon but it's not even out yet this will be exciting and then I never go

and see the movie I like it because you can see a whole film we can usually fill in the blanks with most Hollywood films and then you've seen it it saves you time We saw the trailer for Rise of usually fill in the blanks with most Hollywood films and then you've seen it. It saves you time.

We saw the trailer for Rise of the Planet of the Apes a few weeks ago before a movie and the whole trailer and then the title comes up at the end and I turned to my friend and said, oh, I thought that was going to be the trailer for Dunstan Checks In 2. Bang, nailed it. Just a kind of sample of the sort of gear that you'll be getting if you find yourself sitting next to me. We're going movies right now.

Don't the people have to pay gold class to come and sit near you in the movies? It's like a discount seat. One of my favourite things in the world... You get a free zinger and it ain't fucking chicken. One of my favourite things in the world, and my beloved knows to not talk for the first four minutes after a movie because I love to eavesdrop on the dumb things people say

walking out of the cinema. For instance, when I saw Hulk with Eric Banner, a girl... I thought you saw it with your girlfriend. Yeah! Let's all go right now. Let's just go see something. We're in red hot form.

Harry Potter 2 is going to be ruined for someone. I just heard someone just going, well, that was all good when he went all green, but just got unbelievable at the end. Or Master and Commander, Far Side of the World or whatever it's called.

It was good, but a bit too much water. See, I think you and I are on sort of opposite sides of that issue because you're saying you don't talk because you want to hear the dumb shit people say. I don't talk for fear of saying something dumb. That's another factor. Yeah, okay, right, right, right.

I just stay silent and then, you know, when we get in the car, I'm like, how come the dog can talk? I had a really embarrassing one. Me and my missus, we had free tickets to this film. I'm not proud that we saw this film, but we saw The Breakup with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. Yeah, it's all right. We're not those sort of – we don't like those sorts of films.

We, yeah, we're a couple. That's right. Oh, you snob. Yeah, we are. We are. We're not into dumb American rom-coms. But there was... You and Eric Banner.

Me and Eric Banner were there. But that film's got John Michael Higgins, I think it is, the guy from... He played Kel in the American Kath and Kim. Oh, yeah. He's also in all the Best in Show and stuff. And he was in Arrested Development. He's very funny.

He plays Jennifer Aniston's brother, who's obsessed with his a calla group oh yeah and they go in and invite and but during the end credits of that uh of the film uh the music is actually his acapella band singing rainbow connection and it's the campus thing you've ever heard and i was on the floor laughing at this song. And as we walked out, I was still giggling. And there was all these people going, they just walked out of the breakup and look how hard they're laughing. And I go, no, I'm laughing at a really ironic piece of music.

So, yeah, that's it. You're one of those people now. You're the other side of it. Have you ever walked out of a movie? I've wanted to, but I've always got faith it'll get better. I've never done it. Have you? No, because I sort of, I kind of feel like I've come this far, I may as

well at least get the resolution of it. Yeah. And also, I've planned to be here for two hours now, so I mean really, what else am I going to do with that time? And if you've gone with someone else? I'll just go and hang out near the candy bar for 90 minutes. I've had someone walk out of a film and I stayed and watched the end. Well, yeah. I'll just go and hang out near the candy bar for 90 minutes. I've had someone walk out of a film and I stayed and watched the end.

Oh, really? Yeah. And what, did they wait for you or not? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? It was at the casino and she went down to the time zone. So she thought Daytona was better than Fat Albert. Daytona was better. It was Black Hawk Down.

Oh, right. Yeah, I was enjoying it. Is that a good movie? It was better. It was Black Hawk Down. Oh, right. Yeah, I was enjoying it. Is that a good movie? It's war, so she wasn't into the violence and stuff. The moment I knew that I was going to marry my beloved was when we went to the movies once. My beloved Eric Banner. You were watching Fantastic Four, Rise of the Silver Surfer,

and thanking God that it wasn't something shit like The Breakup. We went to the cinema. We'd seen pretty much everything. And we're there staring at what films are on. And she goes, what do you want to see? And I went, kind of want to see Saw III. And she goes, I knew you were going to say that. Well, I'm going to go see Step Up.

They start within five minutes of each other. I'll meet you back here afterwards. And so we went and, you know, she watched her horrible film and I watched my horrible film. What's Step Up? Step Up, it's a dance film where, like, the guy is the janitor in the dance place and... Sold.

Yeah. Channing Tatum, I think. He's a working class guy. She's an uptown girl and everyone forbids their love, but they dance their lives away. I have to say, I do find your technique a bit weird of just turning up to the cinema and deciding then what you're going to see. I find that odd.

We've seen a lot of stuff. This is around the period where we saw the breakup. Yeah, no, no, but I sort of feel like, why aren't you checking the papers to see what's on before you're leaving the house and just hoping that there'll be something at the cinema that interests you? Do you know what I mean? That's cool. I don't do it, but I admire that you do it.

Okay, fair enough. I'm going to go to the movies. All right. Yeah, I don't mind. Date night. I like, that's the best thing about planes. God. Can you watch?

Just want to do the conscious. So the fact that they fly you to other countries. No, boring. They've got like 10 movies on board. none of which I don't want to see. It's like Blockbuster, but cramped. Yeah, but with no choice. There is a part of me that does enjoy transit, like just a tram or a train, because I get into just listening to stuff and reading and whatever.

I'm always kind of a bit disappointed when I reach the destination. Yeah, that's the thing. You go to America or you go to London, whatever it is, you go on some long-haul flight, and if you've got the Qantas or whatever it is, the one with a million movies, I get on the plane within half an hour and go, oh, I've got to watch all this.

Oh, I don't think I'm going to be on the plane long enough to watch it. What do you think people did on planes before that? Do you reckon there was just, there would have been at least eight suicides per plane. Do you think the Mile High Club has reduced, the numbers that have joined the club have reduced because of all the movies that are on board now? Absolutely.

I think that would probably be the case. But also, I was going to say... Ray Fine probably had seen all the movies because he was in them. That's why he went and chomped some chick. I was going to say that there might be a thing where you'd be watching a sex scene and that'd fire you up but they edit that sort of stuff out for planes, don't they? They do, yeah. Do they? Or do they for the person

because they did for the big, when it used to just be like everyone would have the same screen. No, well I know on the Hot Fuzz DVD you can watch the version for Made for airlines. Right.

But that's a joke, isn't it? It's like three minutes long or something? I presume they edited it in. I don't know. Maybe. I fell for it. But it's all... I actually still say from that, you know, you funking bar stool.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's what gets me about airports. You know, this is very similar. You go to the airport newsagents before you leave, and you can buy pornos. Yes. Isn't that odd? I've had a thing where I've been desperate for something to try and read, to find to read on an airplane.

So I've bought an FHM or a Ralph or whatever. And I've felt weird about that. Yeah. Because the covers are always pretty provocative. And even if you're just reading an article in there about the Great White Shark, everyone walking past is just like, pretty provocative. And even if you're just reading an article in there about the Great White Shark, everyone walking past is just like, he's just trying to get his bloody rocks off on the, you know, 2.30 to Adelaide.

I do like that, though. I like that there's porno magazines in the newsagents. Like, just, you know, if you buy one, the guy selling it to you, he's going, you cannot go 24 hours without masturbation. Yeah, not even 24. I think it's funny if it's just like a... Does anyone even fly? Go to Adelaide.

Yeah, I mean, why would you buy the porno if you're flying to Adelaide? You're going to see McGinley's mate. Get her gear off anyway. I didn't want to tell this story, but you know the last time I actually bought... You should be saving your 10 bucks. He just said he didn't want to tell this story.

It was going to be good. Oh, right. No, no, move on. No! The last time I bought a porno magazine, because no one buys magazines anymore, is my friend was in it. Oh. Yeah.

What, your dancer? No, Eric Beller. It was another burlesque friend, and she said, I'm in it this week. Check it out. And I was like, oh, well, I want sales to go up. You've got to get us in on this burlesque racket. Absolutely. Come along.

I reckon we'd go off. What about this? What's the difference? Like if she's going, you should buy this magazine because I have no clothes on. Why doesn't she just go, you should see this and take her clothes off in front of you? What's the difference? Because one, she'll get paid for and the other one's mildly object. Why would she objectify herself that way?

Like right in front of my face. She gets money if she does it for the magazine. But it's all done. She's got it already. If you buy that magazine, it doesn't make any difference. I will say If you want to make up an argument for her not to strip naked in front of you, that's fine. You can agree with Carl or not

but I do think you have to begrudgingly admit that his logic is pretty sound. Right now, I can just hear every female who listens to this show. They already hate you, Carl. They like me because they identify with my voice. I've already talked about, I've already walked a fine line here. So I'm, no, I was helping a friend out with her modelling career by supporting the publication she was in.

By buying pornography. You are pro-feminism indeed, Danny McEwan. I'm so post-modern feminist. You're a champion of the women. I am. Hey, I was out on Friday night at a bar and a friend's girlfriend was there who I've met a few times, but not, you know, I haven't hung out with her heaps, but, you know, I know her well enough.

And she gets a bit drunk and she just drops to me, yeah, I always forget your name. I can never remember what your name is. Like I know that I know it and then when someone says it and talks about you, like by name I know who you are, but it's like I can either, I can't do both at once, so I can hear your name and picture you or I can see you and know that I know you, like by name, I know who you are, but it's like, I can either, I can't do both at once. So I can hear your name and picture you, or I can see you and know that I know you, but I can't have the name of you in my head.

And she's like, I know, I know it though. I know, I know it. And then I'm like, take a punt. What do you reckon my name is? And she goes, Peter Warsaw. Wow. She attempted the full name. Does Peter Warsaw exist?

I don't know. Was she there going, all right, no, it's an Anglo-Saxon name and a European capital? Yeah, yeah. Oh, God. Jeff Kiev. Oh, crap. Classic. Classic Peter Warsaw.

Peter Warsaw. That's my new favorite thing. Yeah, I wish I was getting into stand-up now because that would be my new stage name, Peter Walsh. I am on Facebook right now trying to find how many Peter Walsh's there are. Oh, there's a few. I'm just going to add this one as my friend. This first one here, I'm trying to be friends with the Peter Walsh.

Let's get as many dum-dum listeners to do that. Oh, yes. Let's confuse him. All right, so if you look up Peter Walsh, W-A-R-S-A-W, the first one that comes up, Adam, he's studying international business at the California State University. And just put the message, hey, mate. And the only music that he likes is Motley Crue.

Oh, this guy's a legend. So this guy is or isn't you? His interests are, I say dude right before I say something moderately important, which to be fair, I do do. That's not bad. Yeah. While we're on this topic, we should talk about this. I found something on the internet that I believe is the product of someone

who listens to this show. So a friend of the show. A friend of the show. They are immediately a friend of the show. So we talk at length on this show about how my real last name is Alsop. Yes, yes. And I'm currently, right now, looking at the Wikipedia page of actress Jane Alsop from television's Blue Heelers.

I love where this is going. According to the information here, born 3rd of July 1975 in Oxford, England. She's an actress, best known for her role as Jo Parrish on Blue Heelers. Her father was a surgeon. Her family settled in Montalbert. She's married.

She's good. Is she hot, is she? You're going to objectify more women. Is this how it's going to happen? I'm going to compliment her. I'm just reading ahead here. As we get to the bottom of her personal life section on her Wikipedia page, her younger brother is comedian Thomas Alsop, a.k.a. Tommy Dasolo. So, bravo, new friend of the show, whoever's done that. Who's going to take credit for that?

That is awesome. If you've done that, please do get in touch because that's you. That made me laugh a lot. You'll earn yourself official friend of the show status. Although this is the thing because I kind of want to put it out there because I enjoy it so much because it's also like it's not even my actual last name. Like hers is two L's and mine's one. But that just makes it better for me.

But I kind of want to put this out there, but I'm hesitant to because I don't want any of those goddamn Wikipedia Nazis to get on there and go, no, that's not real, and change it. Wikipedia Nazis, would they be enemies of the show? They would definitely be, yeah. Well, this is what I want. This is so awesome. I think we should set a challenge to people who are interested.

Try and fit either me or little Allsop over here into as many, hidden into as many Wikipedia pages as they can. Yeah. Okay. This hasn't been done. Like, get this. The old Tony Martin radio show was great for this, and I miss it. So I would love to see a lot more.

Their Wikipedia page would just get vandalized. Yeah. Their own page. Karl Stefanovic was a robot. No, but sneak our references to us into other people's Wikipedia page. But how are we going to find it though

is the only thing. Well, they can claim credit. They can send it to us. Show off. Be proud. Because I will be honest, the only reason I did find this

was because it was Friday afternoon and I was Googling myself. What happens if you type dickhead into Wikipedia? Into Wikipedia? Yeah.

Is there a Wikipedia page for dickhead? Wikipedia? Into Wikipedia? Yeah, maybe. Is there a Wikipedia page for dickhead? I hope so. Whose photo comes up? Come on. Oh, no, you know the first thing that comes up is the matches, a brand of matches by Australian businessman Dick Smith. I so thought you were doing a punchline then. You know the first thing that comes up, your mum.

Oh, no, no, no. I would never. This is something serious, Danny. I would never joke around about the phrase dickhead. So if people want to work. I would never say this is something serious, Danny. I would never joke around about the phrase dickhead. So if people want to work. I would never say anything about your mum. I think your mum's really great. But no, dickhead is sacred.

I would love it if people could do that. And if you could work a bit of Peter Walsall in there as well. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Peter Walsall. All right. The challenge has been set.

Or just change Jane Alsop's brother into Peter Walsall. Well, this is the funny thing is that... Originally Jane Walsall. The friend of the show, Drew Thornton, is acting in a show with Jane Alsop at the moment that just finished. And he had the wrap drinks last night, and I sent him a text going, hit up Old Mate Alsop about coming on Dum Dum.

I haven't heard back yet as to whether or not it's going to, that's my new challenge. Yeah. Get her on the show. Not Old Mate Allsop, Big Sister Allsop. Big Sister Allsop. Yeah. Why don't you just ask her at Christmas? I think your dad surely met her.

I might move out of where I'm staying now and see if I can just crash on her couch for a little bit. Keep it in the family. That's cool. Yeah. That's good. That's good. So there's the challenge. Yeah, that's good. That's good. So there's the challenge.

Does Danny McGinley get incorporated into the challenge at all? I don't think so. It's taken me 45 episodes to even get on here, to get the promotion from Friend of the Show. That everyone does now. Everyone that comes in here now has their backup about how many episodes. You don't hear people getting called in to do The Simpsons and going, oh, after 22 years

are you good enough to have Weird Al Yankovic on? I was actually the opposite. I was kind of happy to keep, because you guys do get bigger and bigger and you get truckloads more listeners all the time. I was quite happy to sit it out until you got to 100,000. So I was actually a bit disappointed to be called on. To be fair, we do delete a lot of them.

So that's... Although... This is the best point to be on the show ever so far. Absolutely, yeah. It's all downhill for me. called on. To be fair, we do delete a lot of them. Although. This is the best point to be on the show ever so far. Absolutely, yeah. It's all downhill for me. I was doing a gig up in Brisbane just last week and a friend of the show, Stephen Head, was telling me about how Hang on. I don't think you've got the power.

You're not a mod of the show. You can't give friend of the show accreditation to whoever you meet. I did promise him. I did promise him. I did promise him. You haven't been given the knighting wand, okay? If you'd seen, he's a stand-up from Brisbane and he's very good. Right. And he's actually, he does one-liners like you.

Right. So, you know, obviously better. Also, he's in the riddle trade, is he? He's in the riddle trade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if someone can be a friend of the show when half of the show hasn't met them before. I've never met this dude. Have you met him?

No, I've never met him. That's not half. That's the whole show. Casual acquaintance of the show when half of the show hasn't met them before. I've never met this dude. Have you met him? No, I've never met him. That's not half. That's the whole show. Casual acquaintance of the show, Stephen Head. The person we've just heard of of the show. And what was he saying?

Just how he listens to it and he's a big fan and I said I'd say friend of the show, Stephen Head. Oh, well, I've changed my tune now. Now he's a friend of the show. Is he? Yeah. He's alright. He's alright of the show, Stephen. Oh, well, I've changed my tune now. Now he's a friend of the show. Is he? Yeah.

He's all right. He's all right of the show. You notice how initially it was like comedians that we were good friends with and then it was just anyone that we met in the street. Yeah. And now I'm just anyone who it comes to me third hand that they enjoy the show and now a friend of the show. Where's Yumi Steins?

Is she a friend of the show? Yeah. Of course she is. Although I feel like if we're going to band it around so liberally, we need to upgrade people who've actually been on the show. Yeah. Can I be best friend of the show? Yeah. Of course she is. Although I feel like if we're going to band it around so liberally, we need to upgrade people who've actually been on the show. Yeah. Can I be best friend of the show?

Yeah. BFF of the show. Hall of Fame of the show? Hall of Famer. No, I bag best friend forever. Yeah. BFF of the show. BFF of the show.

That'll work. That'll work. All right. We'll get Jane Oslopp in. Sister of the show. Oh, that's big. Yeah. Peter Walsall.

Alter ego of the show. And what that's big. Yeah. Peter Walsall. Alter ego of the show. And what will Carl's other name be? Will it be Jeff Kiev? Jeff Kiev? I don't mind that. That's good. Peter Walsall and Jeff Kiev. All right, done.

They do a show called The Big Smart Smart Association. Warzy in Kiev. No, Warzy in the chicken. Warzy in Kiev. No, Warzy in the chicken. Warzy in the chook. Yeah. Oh, that's good. Warzy in the Kiev. Bit of garlic sauce in the middle.

Are you a wog? Yeah. Well, guys, that brings us to the end of the program for another week. Danny McGinley, thank you so much for joining us. It's been an absolute honour. And you said come in with about five topics to talk about. We have got to none of them. To be fair, I did say we probably won't get to any of them. That's true, you did.

I believe my exact words were something's happened on Wikipedia, so we probably won't get to them. And look, we've got your mate Stephen Head accreditation, so that's something you've got out of this. Guys, thanks so much for listening. A couple of quick plugs. If you're in Adelaide, if you're listening to this, quick smart when it comes out,

I'm there until August 13th doing gigs, and then I'm in Sydney from the 15th until the 19th of August. Jump on TommyDassler.com for details. Danny McGinley, you got stuff to plug? Yes. If people are listening this quick smart, I'm at the Sydney Comedy Store this Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. DannyMcGinley.com.

So if you're in Sydney, you can do McGinley one weekend, and then you can do Dassler the next weekend. And now it's all. Or if you're in Sydney, you can do McGinlay one weekend and then you can do Daslo the next weekend. And now it's Robyn. Or if you're in Melbourne, you can come to the strippers with me. And you'll buy people a lap dance. And if you're in Adelaide, you can go see the Miss Nude Australia finals and support Cassandra J. Do it.

Hey, also, one quick last little thing. Carl and I are competing in the Earwolf Challenge, which is a podcast reality show at Earwolf.com and there's lots of cool stuff on there so have a listen and cheer us on it's been pretty fun and we're doing stuff for that show that you're not going to hear it's exclusive stuff and we're going to win it Aussie Aussie Aussie

alright guys thanks so much for listening and we'll see you next time see you mates