The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 48 - Shaun Micallef

Episode Date: August 30, 2011

The Lost Episode, Stars Shattering Together and The Hellfire Club. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ah, so Tommy, remind me again why we're in this abandoned temple? Well, Carl, remember a few weeks ago we interviewed Sean McAuliffe, and then I bumped the console and deleted the whole thing? Remember it. I've been crying into my pillow every night since it happened. Right, well, I overheard someone saying that when interviews get deleted, they end up in here. People are furious at us, and if we can find this McAuliffe interview, we may just be able to save the little dum-dum club. Well, I hope we find it soon. This place gives me the willings.

Look over there. Do you see that? Yeah, it's a little USB stick. And there's something written on it. McCulloch. The legends are true. It's the lost episode of The Little Dum Dum Club. Hey, Tommy, be careful with that. It looks like it's sitting on some sort of pressure-sensitive podium. You know, just like in the Indiana Jones movies.

Would you relax? I've got it here. Let's go. Wait a minute. What's that? Do you hear that? Oh, my God. It's a giant boulder. You know, just like in those Indiana Jones movies. Quick, run! Look, the driver head's starting to close. You know, just like in those Indiana Jones movies. Stop saying that!

We're going to have to slide under it. I'll go first. Tommy, pass me the USB stick. Hey, Carl, my jumper got caught on a rock. I can't move. You've got to come back and help me. I'm going to die in here. See you, mate. Hey, mates.

Welcome into the Little Dumb Dumb Club. My name is Tommy Dasolo. My name is Carl Chandler. And how are you doing there? You've changed the order. Normally I introduce you. Yeah, sorry. And then you give it a bit of g'day dickhead, your famous catchphrase. There you go.

Do I say who I am or not? Oh. I don't come in later. Who is this? That's all right. Who is this stranger? I'm not here. Not here.

You go ahead. I'll just sit back and observe. Well, it's awkward now. No, that's all right. Just a stranger in the room. Who said the cleaner could talk? Jesus. You go ahead. I'll just sit back and observe. Well, it's awkward now. No, it's all right. Just a stranger in the room. Who said the cleaner could talk? Jesus. This is mystery.

This is a good thing. The audience has now got suspense. They go, who is that? It's the theater of radio. It's good. It's good. You go on. I'm just sort of over in the corner, folks.

I'm just a shadowy figure. You could be anyone. Let's all pretend this never happened. After last week, people were thinking, did they actually get Ding Dong Drysdale in? Is that Ding Dong that I'm hearing? She's gone through the chain. Anyway. Yeah.

Hey, well, first off the top, I'll just tell you this little thing that I haven't told you. I went to one of my rare forays to the football on the weekend, and my team were thumped. And I did this thing where I got on the train and I never sort of look at where the train's going roughly. I sort of go, that sort of looks like the right direction. And I got on the train at about 11 o'clock at night and I just went on it and looked out the window about 20 minutes in and realised I didn't have any idea of where I was.

And I got out at one of those little stops, sort of like in between stations, like this tiny little station that they don't- That most trains just go through? Yeah, yeah, exactly. That aren't covered on the express route or whatever. So I got out of this tiny little station at about 11.30 and there's no trains stopping for another half an hour or anything like that. So I'm just sitting there like the saddest man of all time in this little abandoned train

station. It sounds like something that happens to a 12-year-old the first time they get to train on their own. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. And I sat there completely, no one else on the platform except for 25 minutes in when I was waiting for the train to just come in. 25 minutes in, these two guys stop at the front of the train station right where I was

sitting, stop, get out, and just relieved themselves, urinated on the park bench in front of me, and then took off again. Like it was like this big road trip, you know those things, it's not like the highway where people have been driving for four hours and they have to get out and relieve. This was in a cul-de-sac. These guys were driving along in some sort of suburban road trip and just urinated at 11.30 in front of me, right in front of me. So they've made the trip specifically to do this.

Yeah, it looked like it. It looked like just a metaphor for my decision-making on the night. It was very strange. I was driving back from a weekend at the beach a little while ago, driving through Cranbourne, and a maxi cab, we saw a maxi cab on the side of the highway, pulled over with about eight blokes hanging out of it, relieving themselves on the side of the highway pulled over with about eight blokes hanging out of it, relieving themselves on the side of the freeway.

And this was at like five in the afternoon on a Saturday. It was clearly like a big lads night out into the city. And I just wish that I somehow could have seen how their night ended up. Bar 20 followed by the police station, presumably. But it just had that air of just disaster about it. What a great way to open up, I guess. Speaking of disasters. I'm just in the corner.

I'm ready now. Classic ding-dong. Well, I guess today you may know him as the host of Talking About Your Generation. You may also know him from... What do you mean may? You may know him. Well, okay, you will know him from that. I do you mean may know him? Well, they. Okay, you will. Okay, you will know. That's fine. Okay, you will know him from that.

I don't want to tell him your business. You will also know him from his constant interjections before we've introduced him on the show. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome into the little dum-dum club, Sean McAuliffe. Thank you. Thank you. Nice to be here. All right. Yes.

Yes. Now, we're on. Okay. We've clocked on. Yep. Yep. I'm done. I've got to move the car.

Now that we've introduced you, you seem to have gone all quiet. I'm quite happy to talk, quite happy to talk. Well, speaking of trains, well, I was just speaking of trains. I wasn't listening. Oh, okay. Well, me and Tommy over here, the guy over there, we were talking about trains before. Hi, Tommy.

A long time ago. And so do you live in Williamstown? You still live in Williamstown? I do, I do. And I visited the wonderful train museum in Williamstown, which I recommend to anybody to go and see. You see wonderful, wonderful old Scottish steam engines, you know, that have been built, you know, many years ago in the 1880s.

Right. And, you know, the most curious place I've ever seen a Scottish steam engine. Am I saying that right? A steam like a motive. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Sure. Our listeners are massive train spotters, so I hope that's right. That's good.

It's on the board. Yeah. I went on a holiday. I went to Thailand. I went to, you know, where do you go in Thailand? You think, well, the best place to go would be the Thai Burma Railway. Go and see where the bridge was over the River Kwai. Of course, they blew it up, so it's not there anymore.

Yeah. But you know they've rebuilt it? Right. The bridge is, in fact, the River Kwai never existed. It was just made up, folks. Write this down. This is really interesting. So they renamed rebuilt it. Right. The bridge is, in fact, the River Kwai never existed. It was just made up, folks. Write this down. So they renamed the river,

they renamed the river the River Kwai and they built a bridge over it. So it's life imitating art. Oh, it was like a stunt river. It was never a real river. No,

no, no. It's like that thing where horses don't look like horses on movies. They get oceans to look like rivers. Yeah,

yeah. They get a big, big dog and they paint it, you know, with blue screen paint and then projected a horse onto it. Right. Yeah. And that way the actors look taller. That's what they did at Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible. Oh, right.

The sets were all made to scale. All the buildings and everything say look four inches taller. He's running around on the leftover set from Team America with the marionettes. Yeah, this is the illusion of it, but this is reality. And the most curious place, they've got an old Scottish steam engine there that was used on the Ty Burma Railway, and I thought, isn't that interesting? Isn't that fascinating? Yeah.

It doesn't move, though. It's disappointing. It's got a hand car. So back to Williamstown. Yes. So you live in Williamstown. The reason I bring that up is because I used to live in Williamstown For some weird reason And that's not meant as an insult

To anyone that lives in Williamstown It's a nice place It is a nice place But you've got a family Yes I didn't have a family I was single in Williamstown It's like the worst place in the world

To be single So you've got to have a family In fact it's a zoning requirement You have at least three children I got pulled up many times Not having a pram on the footpath In fact all the parking bays there Are all for people with prams Yeah If you don't have one, you've got to keep moving.

And you don't drive, do you? I do now. I didn't drive for a long time. I used to catch the train a lot. That's how I got to the ABC, Channel 9, Channel 7, all the places I've worked and been fired from. I would get there on the train. So my life was very simple. It would be, you know, I'd only ever do one thing a day. Right, yeah. So you'd sort of say, well, I'll factor in an hour and a half for the trip and, you know, back and forward. And that was fine and that was a good way to be.

I think more people should be that way. Well, that's what I wondered about because I used to catch a train and I would see you on the train all the time and be like, what are you doing going into Channel 9 on the train? Like on the bloody Zone 3 405 from Werribee. What are you doing? What's wrong with that? Why is that a cause of concern? Why would you raise your arm about that?

I don't know. It just seemed like, well, you know, the Werribee line... You're expecting to be carpooling with Plucker and Dickie Nee or whatever. The Werribee line seemed like it would have a lot of real-life Milo Kerrigans rather than the real Sean McCartney. Sure. of real-life Milo Kerrigans rather than the real Sean McCarver. Sure. The real-life Milo Kerrigans are pleasurable to meet.

I mean, it's the people who are chroming behind you. Ah, yes. And people urinating on the handicap seats and stuff on that line. Sure. Jesus. Classic. You brought up Milo Kerrigan pretty early on. Now, one of your famous characters from Full Frontal,

the McAuliffe program, you – okay, you – What are you trying to say to me? Yeah, I'm trying to work out how to get into it. Okay, so when I was in high school, a group of my friends went to St. Kevin's, and when we were in high school, you were coming in to give a talk at assembly, I believe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were all very excited because we're all, you know, big fans of your work.

And I remember them telling me for the week leading up to your appearance in class, they were all explicitly told during the end of Sean's speech, there's going to be a question and answer session. Do not ask him to do Milo Kerrigan. Do not embarrass the school by putting your hand up and having this great opportunity to talk to someone who's, you know, very good at what he does and go, do one of your little characters. And then I believe that someone just did it anyway.

Yeah, well, that's a plant. I asked them to do it. Oh, right. I've got no finish to my act, you know. Right, right. Do one of the old characters. And I wasn't sure if that was a thing where you had, like, put that in part of your terms and conditions

of coming into the school. No, look, I don't mind. I'm often asked to do that, which is strange because to me it's the least interesting thing I've ever done in my life. In fact, the character, for those of you listening who don't know or don't remember, probably don't know, there was a character who was a punch-drunk boxer on a show called Full Frontal who you just couldn't understand what he was saying. And the reason that we came up with that character was because we'd have to write a news skit every week

to kill three to five minutes on the show. And we were just down about a minute and a half of material. So we just basically filled it with folder all nonsense. Gibberish. Gibberish. Yeah, right. That was it. So he was just a device, a delivery device, a delivery system for a bit of time filler

basically. But I saw you, we did a stand-up gig together a couple of weeks ago. We did. And you brought it out to much revelry from the audience. I must say, I was the support act. Tommy was headlining. Really? Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, you were the headline. Oh, hang on. No, you were the headline. Sammy J was the headline. I wasn't even from the audience. I must say, I was the support act. Tommy was headlining. Really? Yeah, I know.

Yeah, you were the headline. Oh, hang on. No, you were the headline. Sammy J was the headline. I wasn't even on the poster. Sammy J was the headline, but then you were on last. And you were equal top billing with Sammy J, I think, and I wasn't even on the poster.

You know, I did free chips or something. Those are people that may not have known you from talking about your generation. That's right. I was just a cameo, you know, because I know Dave O'Neill. You know Dave O'Neill, right, Tommy? Yes, friend of your generation. That's right. I was just a cameo. Because I know Dave O'Neill. You know Dave O'Neill, right? Yes. Are you Tommy?

Friend of the show. Yeah, sure. And he used to write. He and I started writing for Full Frontal at the same time. We were young men. We had our future ahead of us. And it was crushed by the reality of commercial television. Dave did a great thing where we were all talking before the gig.

And then he went, oh, I've just got to go get something from the car. And it disappeared for about 15 minutes and then re-emerged wearing a McAuliffe program cap that he'd found in the boot of his car. Well, I don't know whether he found it. He might have woven it in the car. He took it away so long. Yeah, that is an unknown thing about him. If you go in his IMDB,

that's one of the things in his trivia section. But on the night, I think someone did ask me to do Milo Kerrigan. Oh, right. Was that where you were leading? The reason he brought this all up is, could you please bust out a little bit of Con the Fruiterer? Is that possible? Sure, sure.

What about Milo Kerrigan doing Con the Fruiterer? Okay, here we go. Capital of the day. There's two stars shattering together, creating a third star. Wow, that's real poetry, that is. That's going to be a ringtone by the end of this show. That is the sweetest mash-up I've ever heard. Yeah.

I don't know who should be more offended, me or Mark Mitchell. The double act that the country's been waiting for. Yeah. I've never met Mark. He's from a different world. He was one of these guys that used to just be on television. Yeah, yeah. He used to do his Burt Newton.

I sort of more admired his Burt Newton impression than Con. I never quite understood the appeal of Con. You may know him as Con the Fruit of Argyll. Yeah, yeah. I never quite got it. His Burt Newton was a lot like his Daryl Summers, though. I thought they were all a little bit the same. Well, I say Mark himself is a little like, Bert, when you meet

him, he's sort of very genial and he's very similar to him. He still does Con the Fruiter all the time. I've just realised that recently. Oh, actually, the last time I saw an official Con the Fruiter reference, i.e. not a tagline, some other joke. Yeah, that's right. Official, endorsed and authorised,

with a watermark down the middle, was at a service station where I think, you know, those sort of bags of wood, those firewood bags, I think Con was somehow linked to endorsing those. What? Fire starters. I don't get the connection. Oh, not at the servo.

Yeah, no, there was like in-store advertising. So it would be somehow his image was affixed to these plastic bags full of sweaty logs. My friend Pat works at a fruit shop in Kew, and he was telling me maybe about a bit over a year ago now, Con the Fruiterer came and made an appearance at the fruit shop, and he was saying like it was like a scheduled planned thing. Oh, I see.

It was like a promo thing. Paid appearance, presumably. Paid appearance, presumably. Paid appearance, yeah. It wasn't just. Hopefully. Just picturing him getting in, just knowing that he's got to go do his groceries and like putting the costume on. They'll love it.

Yeah, I'll just pop out anyway, like a drive-by conning. Maybe if he dressed up like that, like the greengrocers wouldn't be able to fool him. Like they'd have to give him the good gear because it's like, oh, it's gone the fruiter. We better get out the good apples. Yeah, and he was saying it was just like bedlam in the fruit store. They were all so excited. Oh, they wanted to see him. Yeah, yeah.

All right. Bedlam people running away. Yeah, yeah. No, it was like, and he commits to the character. He would not. Is that right? He was there for a few hours and he didn't drop it. It's a bit like Andy Kaufman, is it?

Andy Kaufman... Very comparable. Very similar. Taking on his... What was that character he used to play? Andy Kaufman, probably not known to your listeners, but Andy Kaufman, a wonderful... Very smart listener, Sean.

Yeah, very. Oh, of course. Well, they could probably sit next to the computer. They can just Google Andy Kaufman. Just let them do it. Full disclosure, our listeners are us and not us. So 100% of our listeners know who he is. You know who I'm talking about.

Yes. This is coming from a man, to be honest, if I can say, this is coming from a man that just asked us how to turn his phone off and instead just took the battery out of it. I don't know how to do it. How do you do it? There's no button that says off. I don't know how to do it.

Is this red button? Would that be what I'd press to turn it off? Generally. I reckon. See, this is not my phone. I dropped my phone in the ocean and this was given to me as a replacement. And when I got the phone, I thought, oh, great, a new phone. I've got to come to terms with that.

I don't like screens on my phone. I don't need a screen on my phone. But I was looking through it, trying to put some old numbers in there, and there was a whole lot of text and a text exchange between a husband and wife. She had a gambling problem. From the old phone? Yeah, yeah. Oh, really?

I read through the whole thing. It was like almost a year's worth of conversations, which it was like a book. So I'm reading and they were happy and everything. I think there was a kid between them. And she's saying, I'm going to be home late. And I was so sorry, darling. And she had a gambling problem. And he was saying, you know, texting back,

well, we don't have enough money to spend. You know, where are you? Where are you? And then eventually she said, I can't do this to you anymore. I've got to go. I can't. Bye-bye. And that was the end.

And I guess at the end of the relationship, I guess the phone was too much for her. It was a reminder constantly. You've got a haunted phone. Yeah. So I just deleted them all. I felt dirty, you know, having it on there. It felt like bad luck. You've got a haunted phone. Yeah. So I just deleted them all. I felt dirty having it on there. It felt like bad luck.

You've clearly read them all first. Yeah, I read them all first. I've got to know what I'm deleting. It could be something really important. What if there was a murder? Sure. Evidence on the phone. Missile codes in there.

Could be anything in there. You're right. But it struck me as an odd conversation to have over the space of a year via text. Yeah. Wouldn't you want to sit down and maybe thrash that one out? Well, Gen Y. Yeah, maybe they didn't even meet. Yeah, yeah.

I have that sometimes when, you know, the phone that I'm currently using will break, and so I'll go back and find an old phone from, you know, years ago just to, you know, just to use in the interim until I get it fixed. That's what I want. I don't want that as an interim thing. I want that. Just the old phone. The original old phone I had, that's what I want. I don't want that as an interim thing. I want that. Just the old phone. The original old phone I had, that's what I want.

What was it? It was a Nokia, a dark blue. 3200? Yeah, it was the original one. It had a tiny little screen about the size of my nail. Black and white? No, it was slightly blue. Well, certainly, no.

What do you mean black and white? Not a colour, not a flashy colour screen. God, no, no. A green screen. No Pokemon stickers. No, nothing like that. Just like Casio numbers. I know exactly the model you're talking about.

Have you got it? I would like. It's such a weird thing to be nostalgic about. It's an early model Nokia. I don't like all this other stuff. You know, you buy a new phone or you're forced to get one because of some plan you're on and it's got a whole lot of numbers. It's got cameras. You can get a phone with a camera in it now because of some plan you're on and it's got a whole lot of cameras.

You can get a phone with a camera in it now. Really? Who likes good stuff? I don't want stuff like that and apps and things. I don't want to know about that. I just want a damn phone that's light and you can ring people on. But, Sean, how are you going to take photos at the train museum if you don't have a camera in your phone?

Well, you know, I've seen people urinating on seats before. I don't need the constant memory of it. So when you drop your phone in the ocean, did you lose it in the ocean? Is it still in the ocean somewhere? No, no, I retrieved it from the ocean. It was only, God, I was only, I wasn't like a, it sounds more romantic than it was. It sounds like I was on a yacht, you know, with the wind blowing in my hair, like a Viking or something, and I'm on the phone, you know, via satellite.

And then I dropped it in the ocean and I dived in after it. No, I was ankle deep, you know, with a knotted hanky on my head, walking along, you know, with a metal detector and I was ringing my wife saying I'd found, you know, a few coins, a balloon or something, and I just dropped it in there. You keep making it the way you're saying I dropped it makes it sound like it was deliberate. No, I love that phone.

It worked, you know, I love that phone. It worked. It gave me hope. It had a heartbeat for a couple of days and then obviously it oxidised. No, what do you mean? No, no texts. Well, that's a show. No, it had some numbers on there. I had Bert Newton's phone number on there.

Oh, really? Bert Newton's phone number, Andrew Denton's phone number. Or was it Mark Mitchell doing Bert Newton? Who knows? Who cares? Lost to the briny deep. Yeah. Now I can't contact these people.

My career's come to a standstill. Hence, you're on this show. You can't get on 20 to 1. All I can do is contact that lady with a gambling problem. She's not going to be good for my career. That's what I wondered. If you dropped it and you'd lost it, maybe it was like a message in a bottle that someone could find,

and then go through and find their own gambling sort of paper trail, like maybe some sort of long message with Josh Thomas, for example, or something. No, see, I don't text. Oh, really? No, I can't do it. It's boring and annoying. You are properly old school.

I just ring, well, old. You know, it's quite sad, really. But, you know, I'm getting better. I sometimes illegally download something. Whoa. Hang on. LimeWire. Napster.

Turn the mics off. Shit just got real. Yeah, edit that out, will you? Yeah, sure, sure. But having said that, you downloaded The Gold Rush with Charlie Chaplin. Yes, that's right. I'm hardly going to be pursued by the estate of Chaplin. Now, Sean, we mentioned talking about your generation earlier,

at the start of the show. I don't think I've talked about this on the show, but I was a writer on that show for one season. You were, and it came up as a good idea. And also, like an ideas man. Yes, yes. That's as well as writing. Yeah, yeah. Well, let's be clear, not after the season. Yeah, that's came up as a good idea and also like an ideas man. Yes. That's as well as writing. Let's be clear, not after

the season. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I was so good that they didn't ask me back. You're making everyone else look bad. It's just we've got to protect everyone's feelings here. They didn't tend to have those sort of meetings anymore after the first year. Once they got what they wanted from you, that was it for you and a bunch

of other people. I was ushered on. Did you enjoy your time with the show? I did enjoy my time a lot. I had a great time. And that's what I wanted to talk about because that was the first time I met you. And that was very exciting for me. But I wanted to talk to you about this because maybe I'm remembering this correctly, but this is my interpretation of it because we would have these big ideas meetings where

we would kick around ideas for games and stuff on the show. Sure, and we used to have buns. They'd bring buns in. They bought in from the expensive bakery down the road. That was a good day. And every now and then, you were not present at all of them, but you were present at a fair percentage of them.

And it was always very fun when you would come in because we'd all muck around a bit more. He'd do his Con the Fruit around. Try and make each other laugh. And I remember there were things where you would throw out ideas for end games and stuff where it was like you would say something like, what about if at the end one of the challenges is who can carve the best ice sculpture? And so we'll bring in big blocks of ice

and all the contestants have a chainsaw. And I would be laughing a lot because I just thought that's so funny and so ridiculous but then the producers would be there taking notes and kind of and sort of taking it at face value and then the next time we'd have a meeting they'd be going yeah so we've we've inquired about the blocks of ice and we're getting the chainsaws license so it's going to be good so it's looking like it had happened and I would see this look on your face that made me think that you had not been putting that forward as a 100% serious suggestion for a show like you had been, you know, being funny and whatever. And just sort of forgetting that you're at Channel 10 and that they have the budget to actually make stuff like that happen. Am I interpreting that correctly?

Tommy, you're pretty much spot on there. stuff like that happen. Yeah. Am I interpreting that correctly? Tommy, you're pretty much spot on there because there were a number of conversations that were had at those meetings, which, you know, were sort of just for us really. Yeah, yeah. And it was like, in fact, and as you know, we ended up doing an episode where we had the ice sculptures.

I think there was a few that didn't. You know, I think at one point there was going to be, everybody was going to be dressed, you know, only in sausages and playing darts or something like that. That never happened. But, yeah, most of the other ones did. But in the end, I mean, that was, of course, you know, the second year and the third year were getting stranger and stranger.

Suddenly you're in a different – the end challenges are taking place in a different warehouse on the other side of town. Yeah, yeah. Was it one where someone – Moving House was one? Yeah, we did Moving House. And, in fact, there's a few because we're coming back, we're doing another eight. And the first episode back, it's which generation is best

at raising a barn? So you've got everybody dressed up as Amish people and they're raising a barn. Now, that strikes me as just a funny thing to do. And, you know, you're not going to see that on Good News Week. Yeah, absolutely. Is this maybe how Tommy got hired? Someone was just having a bit of a joke.

Yeah, let's employ Tommy Dassler on this show. I see. Oh, he's here. Classic McAuliffe. Oh, we're taking notes. Yeah, we're getting him in. It's a very rare thing, though, to have, you know, and again, the last episode was a science fiction theme.

Originally, they were going to do a set in the future. I remember we had this discussion with them. Let's set it in the future because we've done one set in the past. We did old school television. Let's set it in the future. I thought that would be interesting, a nice way to end the series for this year. And so they said, oh, and everyone can dress up and Generation X can be Star Wars. And all the nerds in the room, Stephen Hall and Michael Ward,

they were going, well, actually, technically, the Star Wars set in the past. It was a long, long, you know, many, many years ago. It's not a future situation. So they changed it to science fiction. They said, oh, what's the end game for the science fiction? I said, oh, what about repairing a satellite? You know, it was one of

these ice sculpture suggestions. And everyone laughs next meeting, so we've got NASA lined up, they're ready to go. Well, they've got people on wires floating around putting the antenna dish on a satellite. You know, it's fantastic. I threw out a similar one. Very quickly, just with that future theme,

can you do this for me? Can you please pull up Amanda Keller at some stage when you next record for all the things that haven't happened from beyond 2000? Because I thought by now we'd have Rosie the Robot fetching me my cordial instead of me having to walk to the kitchen myself. And who is responsible if not her? Exactly. For these things not coming apart.

She's the soothsayer from that show. She lured us into thinking that the future would be bright. An easy life. And here we are having to talk ourselves into these microphones. Yeah, it's boring, isn't it? Having to physically come in. This show should just record itself by now, surely. Yeah, well, you should be.

Shouldn't you be speaking directly into the brains of the people listening to you? Yeah, exactly. What am I talking about talking? What a waste of time that is. Thinking. You should be thinking directly into the brains of people. Communicating via text. Keller. They'd love it here. Bloody Keller be thinking directly into the brains of people. Communicating via text. Keller.

They'd love it here. Bloody Keller. They could get rid of these studios, you know, put in apartments. Yeah. Yeah, everyone wins. Yeah, I'll speak to Keller about that. You're quite right. Please do.

Get onto it. On the ridiculous suggestion thing, I don't know if this actually ended up happening or not, but I had a similar thing where early days in the ideas meetings, I thought it'd be funny if there was an episode where all the guests were puppets. So like there'd be a different puppet from every thing. The guest. That was good. That was a good suggestion.

Did that end up happening? Because that was the thing. Because I threw it out going, how dumb would this be? And then next meeting it was like, yeah, so this is looking like it's going to happen. Yeah, they did. Which was glorious. Was what you said. That sounds like a really good idea.

Make sure Deslo doesn't last after this season. Well, the funny thing was, if you were there the first year, the first episode of the second year featured Basil Brush. That's right, yes. Now, the original idea was to have, as you suggested, our guest would be a famous puppet from each generation. So it would be Basil Brush, Baby Boomers, probably Agro, I think. Agro, yeah, yeah. It was going to be Generation X.

And I think Gen Y was going to be, I cannot now remember, maybe one of the- One of the Ferals or something from ABC would be a good one. Yeah, yeah, or Mixie or something. Yeah. Mixie's might be a bit older, but- No, Mixie's from the Ferals. That'd be Gen Y, wouldn't it? Yeah, yeah.

She had her own show, Mixie. Yes. Don't you think it was a little rough naming a rabbit after Mixie Matos? I don't stand up about this, yeah, because I never picked it until... When I was watching it, I never picked it, and then it wasn't until about four years ago that someone said, you know, it was named after myxomatosis, the disease that kills rabbits. Well, is the original Latin derivation of the disease name

come from rabbit, does it? I don't know. Maybe that's more likely an explanation. Maybe, I don't know. Oh, right. That ruins your stand-up piece. Maybe the... No, it wasn't accurate to begin with.

I don't think it is, actually, because I think... That's why people didn't laugh at it, because they knew the Latin. I think rabbit is lepus anyway, L-E-P-U-S. I think that's Latin for rabbit. I studied Latin at school, so I should know this. I think that's right. I think... And I'm only going because I remember a monster movie called Night of the Lepus, which was

a giant rabbit story. Right. And that's... Did you illegally download that? No, I think I watched that. In the days before you could tape anything, you'd stay up to 2 o'clock in the morning to watch the television shows that came on. Not like now.

Not like now where you can simply have it sent to you via DVD. No one watches anything. Amanda Keller was right about that one. Everyone, yeah, exactly. No one does watch anything. They'll buy the things. They'll buy all five seasons of Deadwood, and then they just sit there in the blister packets being unopened

because there's no time to watch them. I actually have had all of Deadwood for about four years now, and I'm yet to watch an episode. It's ridiculous. What's pointless? What are people doing? They're on the internet ordering things and not watching them when they arrive. It's a goddamn disgrace.

You know what I discovered recently? This is me embracing the last century, towards the end of it anyway, is my son, who's 13, managed to hook up our television to the internet somehow. Is it Wi-Fi? Is that how you work it? Yes. Yeah, so he presses the Netlink button and I can watch documentaries that are on YouTube on the television.

It's fantastic. Yeah. Who needs television? Who needs commercial television or indeed any sort of free-to-air television? Who needs satellite television? You don't need it. You don't need it. Look at you.

You don't need radio. You don't need radio. You speak to your audience through a different means. You could watch this stuff if you got yourself an iPhone rather than a – I don't want an iPhone. My wife's very keen that I have an iPhone. So I said, why? Why do I need an iPhone?

She said, you might want to check your emails when you're overseas. That's not a motivation to buy. I can just check it in the hotel. I can go to a hotel and say, can I just check my emails? I don't need an iPhone. Maybe you want to be off the grid. No, I want that 320, whatever, that negative seven version of the Nokia. That's what I want.

We should just throw all that shit into the ocean and be done with it. What do we need? What do we need a mobile phone? Why don't we go back to the old one where you crank it on the wall, you know? That's what hang up means. You hang up on someone. It means you put the receiver up onto the hook. That's what it means.

I don't ever feel like you've come onto this show with some kind of agenda to sort of incite civil uprest. My gears are grinding over this topic. And also, dial tone. No one knows it. My son doesn't know what a dial tone is. He said, why does that call it a dial tone? I said, well, in the old days, phones had dials.

You can't hang up on anyone dramatically anymore. You've got to chuck your phone in the ocean now if you have an argument with someone. The phones are so small. If you're hanging up on somebody. You've got to chuck your phone in the ocean now if you have an argument with someone. The phones are so small. If you're hanging up on somebody, you've got to use your smallest, you know, your pinky finger to press the red button. And you can't do that in anger. You need some sort of, you know, measure of control. This is what annoys me about phones. My friends, a lot of my friends that I grew up with, tend to do what we call American phone talking,

which is saying, oh, so where are you going to be tonight? I'm going to be at the pub. Okay, click. And it's like on American shows where they never say hello or goodbye. There's just that middle bit of conversation and I'm still going, okay, I'll say click, bing, bing, beep, beep, beep. Oh, bye, mate.

See ya. I remember when I was- They never do any of the nice little- That's interesting. So the level of conversation that takes place over the phone now is a bit similar to what you do like if you're in the car with somebody. It's like they can see you and they know you're still there and they can ring you back in a minute to continue the conversation or ask you another question.

Yes, yes, yes. That is very interesting. It's very weird because they start mid-conversation. I'll pick up the phone and they're like, yeah, yeah, so we're going there. I'm like, who is this? Yeah, yeah. It's the erosion of the civility and politeness that sustains this country for many years. The thing about that being a TV cliche of just picking up and starting conversation

midway through, I always used to be fascinated when I was at school when you would watch shows that are set in a school where the teacher would be midway through going, anyway, this calculus thing, and then the bell would ring, and all the students just get up and walk out, and the teacher's there going, don't forget that on Thursday we've got, like, I remember thinking, like, is that just how school runs in America? Like, as soon as the bell goes? Just five second classes. Yeah, it's just on.

I remember trying to start it once, like, the bell went, and I just went, yep, well, come on, guys, you don't have to be here anymore, and the teacher just going, where are you going, and me going, no. You're not into grassy high, mate, sit down. on, guys. You don't have to be here anymore. And the teacher just gone, where are you going? And me going, no. You're not into grassy high, mate. Sit down. Yeah, exactly. It would be interesting to check out the school system over there and see whether that's so.

That's excellent. You could get funding for that. That would be a good documentary. That would be a good documentary. The Little Dumb Dumb Club Goes Back to School. Yeah, yeah. You could watch that on your TV off YouTube. I could watch that on my phone.

Yeah. Because I've had my phone. Well, you could text someone about it anyway. I've had my phone disconnected because I forgot to pay my bill. That's not a policy that you've got. That's just something that's happened. Well, yes. You're making it sound like I decided to by.

Well, I decided to not pay my bill. Well, sure. Why is that? You must like your phone. You need your phone. Why don't you pay my bill. Well, sure. Why is that? You must like your phone. You need your phone. Why don't you pay your bill? A combination of laziness, incompetence, low income. Right.

These are all factors. Okay. So that's it. Are you a better person for not having your phone? But that's the thing. So that's gone. And also our internet at home isn't working at the moment. So I'm just in this thing where this is such a horrible Gen Y cliche,

but I don't know what to do. Like I don't know what people did like without that stuff. Like I got home yesterday. I had no phone. I had no internet. And I was sitting in my house. I had an hour before I was going out. I was like, what do I do?

I couldn't think of how to enter myself now. Have you got a piano? You know what I did? Have you got a piano? That's what people did, didn't they? Yeah, they play piano. Do you draw. Have you got a piano? You know what I did? Have you got a piano? That's what people did, didn't they? Yeah, they play piano. What have you got? Do you draw?

What do you draw? Draw a picture. I know this now, but at the time I was so just in the haze of it. You know what I did? And this is going to sound like a boast. I just did push-ups for an hour. That was the only thing I could think to do was I was like, I'll just sit in my room and do some push-ups.

That's a good thing to do. That's good for my health and whatever. That's good to use your time. Yeah, that's fine. Well, you know, in the old days, you know, this is me. I'm an old guy. I've been around a while. I'm like 15 or something like that.

We've got a phone, but you don't use the phone, you know, unless you ask permission of your parents, and it's not something that you would pick up. I would never pick up and ring anybody. You need to ask permission of your parents to watch the television. Yep. This is how it was in the old days. So I'd go for a walk and I'd go and knock on my friend's door down the street

and then we would listen to his crystal set in his bedroom. You know, crystal set? You build a crystal set? No. Why don't you do that in your downtime after you finish your push-ups? I don't even know. I've got to find out what that is first. You don't know what a crystal set is?

No. You're working in radio now, aren't you? Yeah. Sort of. I guess, yeah. Kind of. It's like Radio Meccano, isn't it? It is.

You get salt crystals and they receive the radio waves. Right. And you can listen to the radio on a small device that you've built up with a couple of wires and some salt crystals and a battery. But I've got an iPod that I have to sync with my computer and I have to do that myself by clicking a few buttons. That's kind of the same thing. Yeah, there's no USB outlet or inlet or whatever it is in a crystal set. Well, you get back to me when there is and maybe I'll look into it.

It's only got a range of about 300 metres. It's pirate radio. You're very nostalgic about a lot of things that seem a bit shit. Isn't that the nature of nostalgia, though? I guess so. Yeah, we put a gloss on everything. You know, when you guys are like 50, you'll be looking back on this like it was good. I smashed this.

So we're talking Gen Y stuff, and this is something that I wanted to run by you. And this will be the first time that I've done this in a public forum So one of your famous characters from Full Frontal, of course, the great Fabio was something that I grew up watching and was a big fan of. Now I have been told that I do a pretty decent Josh Thomas.

And I figured, you know, you work with him. You would spend, you know, a fair bit of time with him. Yeah, I'm glad you're pulling back saying he's a friend of mine. But, yes, he's a work associate. He's an acquaintance. He's a colleague. Is he on your phone? Have you got him on your phone?

John, yeah, I do. I do have Josh Thomas on. He's in my phone book on this phone. Have you ever texted? No, he texted me accidentally once. He came to us accidentally. Yeah, I got this, you know, the phone made a noise because I have my phone ring is Charlton Heston yelling Soylent Green as people.

So hearing that at three o'clock in the morning, waking up to that three o'clock in the morning, that's concerning. So there's a message from Josh. And I look it up. Oh, this will be interesting. You'clock in the morning, waking up to that 3 o'clock in the morning, that's concerning. So there's a message from Josh. And I look up. This will be interesting. You've got 3 in the morning. What's Josh Thomas sending you? Well, he said, I'm at the club.

I'll see you there. Whatever the club was called. I don't know what it was. Hellfire Club or something. And I, of course, ignored it completely. And then two minutes later, another, you know, Soylent Green is people sounds. By this time, this stage, I'm assuming it's Josh again.

And you're annoyed because you've got to get up early and work on your bloody ham radio or whatever you're doing. Breaker, breaker. Ham radio, salted ham radio. So I knew it was Josh, so I just ignored it. But in the morning, he was apologizing because he, apparently next to somebody else in his predictive text and finished

my name off and it was a friend called Shane or something. Sean Connery. So I certainly wasn't... Well, it was a good thing I didn't go to the club. Wouldn't he have been surprised and slightly disappointed if I turned up? At the Hellfire Club with your chaps and leathers and whatever? Yeah, sure.

Gimp mask. So can I run my Josh Thomas question, just get a bit of feedback? Sure. I'm really nervous now. It's been a while since I've done it. Yeah. Hi, Sean. Yeah.

Is that okay? I'd do more than that. But that's it. It's just you've got to have a lot of yes in there. No, say more than that. No, well, Josh is very, he doesn't talk much. That's pretty much his contribution to the show. How about this?

Send him an audio text. Say what the text message was before. No, how about this? How about if we do like it's an episode of Tay? All right. So throw a question at me. Okay, Josh. In 1973, there were a number of Smoking the Bandit films.

Which one didn't star Burt Reynolds? Was it A, Smoking the Bandit, B, Smoking the Bandit films. Which one didn't star Burt Reynolds? Was it A, Smoking the Bandit, B, Smoking the Bandit Rides Again, or C, Smoky is the Bandit? Who's Burt Reynolds? Is he like a – I don't even know who that is. That is the worst Josh Dosh. That's terrible. You sound like Pee Wee Herman.

I'm under pressure. No, you've got to put the voice at the back of your uvula. Oh, what? Like that. Oh, yeah, okay. So Josh's standard answer to most things is, I don't know. Oh, you've smacked me. I don't know.

That sounds like Dave Allen. Dave Allen? You remember Dave Allen? Yes. How do you know who Dave Allen is? I grew up watching. My dad was a big fan of Dave Allen. Is that right? You know, he started his television career, Dave Allen, remember Dave Allen yes how do you know who Dave Allen is I grew up watching my dad was a big fan of Dave Allen

is that right you know he started his television career Dave Allen in Australia oh yeah that's right he had a Tonight Show in Sydney

yeah this is in the years when Australian television had Tonight Shows and they would employ people from overseas they wouldn't employ local people at all

so Dave Allen was doing it in Sydney and then they got so they had a number of quiz shows and panel. So Dave Allen was doing it in Sydney. And then they got, so they had a number of quiz shows and panel shows. So Dave Allen was a very famous Irish comedian. Yeah, yeah. But he wasn't as famous as he was in Australia back home. Right.

Like a Jemone. Yeah, a bit like that. A bit like that. He sort of pretty much lived here and had his Tonight Show. And then Don Lane took over his position. Yeah. So you've got to get a yank. here and had his Tonight Show and then Don Lane took over his position. So you've got to get a yank.

And so Graham Kennedy, who was really the first Australian to have a variety show, to front it, to hear our voice. Isn't that interesting how we were so scared about hiring people who had an Australian accent? Like when they brought, I've never seen it, but I've always wanted to see it, when they brought Are You Being Served? Down Under. Yes. And Shane Bourne was on it. Shane Bourne.

Shane Bourne was on it. How? How? Hey. So the only, the only, yes, it was John Inman was the only.

Oh, was he the only one? He was the only one. So he came in, he would do, you know, pretty much the same scripts, I think.

Wow, I thought that down now, who would be the Australian cast? Like you'd have to get all the, Josh would be on, Josh would be on. Josh would be Mr Humphreys, presumably. He'd be an off-sider maybe, maybe he'd be the apprentice. Yeah, look, I'd be putting up my hand for old Mr Grace, no, young Mr Grace. Oh yeah, yeah, right. I'd play young Mr Grace. So without having to much work, I'd just come in every second episode at the end and say, you've all done very well, and then get off.

That was shocking. June Bronhill played Mrs. Slocum. Oh, really? June Bronhill was like an opera singer and an actress, and she played Mrs. – I can't remember who else was in it. And it was exactly the same. The set was exactly the same, even though it was called A Being Served Down Under.

There was no appreciable difference. I don't think it was necessarily set in – No kangaroos bouncing past the window. It was a copy. And they did Father, Dear Father Down Under as well, Father, Dear Father. Do you remember that show? No. Patrick Cargill, he had two nieces.

One of them in Australia was played by Sigrid Thornton. Oh, she should have got a go. And do you remember Bruce Spence? Was he on Are You Being Served Down Under maybe? I don't. Look, I have very little Guernsey. Bruce Spence, was he on? Are you being served down under maybe? I don't. Look, I have very little memory of it. I have very little, apart from the fact Shane was in it. It must be out there somewhere.

It must be on YouTube or something, surely. Maybe. I don't know. Hopefully. All right, let's finish up. Look it up on your phone. Look it up on your phone, Sean. I've got to put the battery back in.

How do you turn it off? On the Shane Bourne thing, a couple of weeks ago after we did the show with Adam Richard, he was telling us a great story where there had been, one time when he was doing the Breakfast Show on Fox, Shane Warne was in the news for one of his big texting things and it was hard to get an interview with him and the producer comes in and goes, we've got an interview with Warnie this morning. We've got Shane Warn on the phone. We're going to talk to him.

This is an exclusive. No one else has got this. This is amazing. How good is this going to be? So anyway, they get on the air and they go, okay, here he is, Shane Warn. What's going on with the texting? And they just see, ha-ha, morning thrill seekers. They're like, oh, dear.

Oh, dear. Well, yes, dear. Oh, dear. Well, yes, yes. So was that producer still, you know, looking after Matt and Joe? God, I wouldn't know. Yeah. Just having dinner with Liz Hurley. Ha-ha. Yeah, I'd love it if Mourney hadn't cracked on.

Do you know what I mean? Like if he hadn't worked out that it was a case of mistaken identity and he just rolled with it. A bit perplexed about the whole thing. Well, let me ask you this. I mean, you're a guy who's got a big catalogue of different characters and stuff that you've done. Is there anything – you seem like a guy who you would have had

at various stages different projects with your characters and stuff that maybe didn't come to fruition. Is there anything in the archives that nearly happened that didn't quite happen? Yeah, I'll let you know. There's more stuff that didn't happen than did. I'm just trying to think. Yeah, we actually pitched a Milo Kerrigan movie. Oh, that is so what I wanted to hear.

Channel 7. This is years ago. We pitched a Milo Kerrigan movie, a David McGann movie David McGann was like a played a secret agent and he was just terrible at it. We pitched that and then Austin Powers came out and said we can't do that now because it just looks like a bit of a rip off

of Austin Powers in a couple of ways so we didn't worry about that. The Milo one was a bit strange, it was a bit like misery because there was somebody from the Australian Institute of Sport who had a car accident. It was out sort of signing up young kids to come and join the Australian Institute of Sport and drove off a cliff and woke up in this farmhouse. And she's recovering. The phone's smashed and everything.

She can't contact anybody. And there's this sort of Boo Radley type who's found her and taken back and, you know, undressed her and put her in pyjamas and was looking after her, basically. And it's Milo and his mother. His mother's looking after her. And he's out shifting cows in the field. And, you know, she discovers this, you know, boxer, basically. Yeah.

He's really good. So just to be clear, this didn't get up. No, it didn't get up. I can't understand why. Great story. Yeah, so I got to play two characters in this one. So I was playing Milo and I also played the promoter. Oh, I thought you were going to play your mum.

That would have been... Oh, a bit of drag work. Pitch that to Channel 9 maybe. Well, they would have just assumed that I would be playing Milo. Milo Kerrigan 2, the Klumps style. Yeah, could do that. Anyway, so that was, you know, it followed the standard plot line of those sorts of boxing films, a bit like Rocky, I suppose,

and a bit like Requiem for a heavyweight and, you know, The Wrestler and those sorts of films. The idea actually predated The Wrestler, obviously, but it was, you know, it's the comeback. that the idea actually predated the wrestler, obviously. But it was, you know, it's the comeback. The reason he's out there in the sticks running a, you know, gymnasium for youth is because he killed a man, you know, who turns out not to have died, you know.

He turns out to be the promoter's father. So the whole thing is a fix, basically. This is a very heavy plot for a character that can't speak. He sounds retarded. That's why there's got to be so many other characters in it because if it was just mostly Milo, it would be gibberish. So he comes to the big city. Oh, it's the second act now.

He comes to the big city and he's staying in a hotel that's three stories high and that's pretty impressive to him. She's a mirror for the first time, that sort of stuff. Ringing his mother saying there's a picture of himself on the wall. So is this any chance or is this on ice? No, on ice, it's in ice. In ice, okay. It's like Disney.

You go to Orlando, Florida and watch Disney on ice. You look very carefully into the ice and you can see Walt at the core looking up. So this could be resuscitated maybe thousands of years into the future. Yeah, I suppose if a mosquito comes along and takes out, you know, Michael Crichton style, takes out a little bit of the blood of this Milo idea, you know, it's possible to build a Milo the movie park. Island, yeah.

And Milo goes crazy and kills everyone. Yeah, sure. Awesome. Yeah, kills Jeff Goldblum. It's good ideas. This might be a very obvious question. Did you ever receive correspondence from the real Fabio? The real Fabio came to Australia to sell, I can't believe it's not butter,

because he was endorsing that particular product back in the mid-90s. He was endorsing that particular product back in the mid-90s. And there was an opportunity for me to meet him in character, so as him, meet him as him, and do something together. But at that point, I had this really weird attitude to commercial advertising and stuff. And I said, well, no, I'm not going to do it because it's for a product. I mean, I'm quite happy to do a sketch or something with him. But as it turns out, I think that he recently has taken over

from the Old Spice guy, you know, those online ads? There's really good online ads for Old Spice. They got rid of that guy who was really funny and they've got Fabio in there doing it instead. But it's sort of a bit like those old sketches. Right. Because it's a joke. And he's got really long hair and he's rolling around on a piano.

And it's like the sketches. So it may well be that he's stolen my idea. Yeah, he's stolen himself. He's stolen your idea that he's an idiot. Yeah, he's co-opted it. You've just done a block of talking about your generation and this is it for you now? Yeah, this is it for the year. Yep.

But I've got some other things that we're talking about at Channel 10 which are going to happen. Oh, can we talk about it? Well, there's a drama pro. I don't want to say too much because every time I say something, like about six months ago I was talking about a variety show that Tim were really interested in. We were going to do that this year and it never happened

and it's not going to happen. So I've got to be careful about what I get too excited about. I'm happy to jump around the house and go, oh fantastic, look we're doing this new drama. But, you know, things fall over, things fall over. Maybe it could be like, you know, with the Arrested Development

movie where it's like all the cast and writers are talking about it in interviews so much that it's kind of like it has to happen now because everyone's sort of spoken about it so much that if it doesn't happen. Well, yeah, that's a good point. But usually it's just me talking about it. I should realize when I look around and see no one else talking about it that maybe I'm out on my own.

So we're the first to break the story. You are definitely making Ghostbusters 3. Is that what's happening? Actually, I hear they are doing that. Is that right? I don't know. Yeah, I think they are. Yeah, I think they are. No, I think they are.

Are they? Most recently. Well, Bill Murray's got the same phone technique as you. He just doesn't have a proper one. No one can reach him. All right. You have to bring him in the ocean. It must be on then.

I can't imagine it'll work. I read an interview with Bill Murray where he was saying that he was kind of keen and then they sort of said, oh, these two scriptwriters, these two great guys, they've written the script and it's going to be awesome and whatever. And they were the guys that wrote the film Year One with Jack Black and Michael Cera. And then he said he went and saw that and it was so bad. But then he's called up and went, I'm not doing it. If those guys have written it, I want no part of it.

Yeah. I think it's probably a little unfair. I didn't mind Year One. I never saw it. I've had some gags. I think they're all in. They're just the holdout is Ernie Hudson, so they can't make it without him.

I saw Ernie Hudson. He was in Melbourne about three or four years ago at a comic book convention down at the Melbourne Convention Centre, which I went to see. Why did you go there? Because my sons are – well, I like comic books and that sort of stuff too, so I took him down there to have a look at that because they had the people signing autographs.

It was Ernie Hudson. It was Gil Gerard. Gil Gerard from Buck Rogers. Battlestar. Oh, no. Battlestar Galactica. Battlestar Galactica. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They also had the guy who was the fish in Hellboy. Oh, yeah. The sort of fish man. Yeah. And at that stage, Hellboy 2 hadn't come out. And in Hellboy 1, in the original film, he got his voice overdubbed by Niles in Frasier Crane. Andy McDowell style.

Yeah. Collegiate of Tarzan. That's right. She got a beautiful voice. Why? It's a lovely Texan accent, Andy McDowell's got. Why would they take that voice? Maybe not for the jungle.

She was English, though, in the film, wasn't she? That's right. So, yeah, they had – and so all of them were – and there was somebody else there, too. I can't remember who it was. Somebody forgettable. It was an odd group of people. It was somebody from one of those

Star Trek Beyond ones. You know those... Metal Mickey? No, I wasn't. Was he there? No, no, I think it was a human. Right. It was a human.

I don't know. It wasn't one of the main ones. It was just somebody. And of course, they're not wearing their masks or their prosthetics. Right. It was like, you know,

some guy. So, yes, Ernie Hudson, I did get to see. There was a big queue for Ernie. The biggest? Well, it was interesting because I thought Fishman would have got a bigger queue. I would have liked, because Fishman was pretty good. He was a good actor in his second Hellboy film. Sounds like how you bothered to remember his name and everything. Fishman. He's one of my favorites.

That'd be great if you went to a comic convention and you donned the Marlo Kerrigan or the Fabio get-up and you could keep your anonymity because people would just presume, because, you know, everyone at those conventions things is dressed up as characters. Yeah. People wouldn't think, geez, McAuliffe's gone nuts. Is there any chance of a full frontal convention? Yeah, FFCon.

Yeah. Yeah, I'd go to that. You get to ride on the actual roller coaster that's in the opening credits. Oh, yeah, FFCon. Yeah. Yeah, I'd go to that. You get to ride on the actual roller coaster that's in the opening credits. Oh, yeah. Fantastic, yeah, yeah. They just stole that. I think there's actually a, that's actually some game somewhere, isn't it? It is, it is, because I remember going to some theme park somewhere,

and it's one of those ones that you sit in and the whole thing moves around. They just licensed it. Yeah, I remember sitting and going, this is the credits for Full Frontal. And then it was a bit of a thrill ride. And then at the end being really disappointed that that bald guy wasn't chasing someone on a... The gay flight attendants weren't at the end of it. Yeah, yeah.

Disappointed, the right word. Oh, come on now. Less nauseous, perhaps. So I guess whatever you're saying, you don't want to talk too much about what you've got coming up next, lest it not happen. Not really, yeah. I mean, the only things that definitely are happening, when's this going out? This week?

Yes. The only things that are definitely happening is that I'll be in Sydney narrating the music of John Williams. Oh, great. Oh, really? For the Sydney Symphony Orchestra, so that's an interesting thing. Narrating it? Yeah, narrating it. Adding the lyrics?

Yeah, I'll sing the Superman thing. You know, there are lyrics to the Superman song that were never recorded. Oh, wow. Look up in the sky, it's a bird. Look up in the sky, Superman. Come sing with me. Look up in the sky, it's a bird.

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's super. That was it. I've seen that look in your eyes. I'm getting a whiff of the talking about your generation production meetings about this. It's a bird. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's super. That was it. I've seen that look in your eyes. I'm getting a whiff of the talking about your generation production meetings about this. That's what it is. I'm smelling chainsaws. Well, whatever you've got coming up, I think the secret is just as long as Amanda Keller doesn't talk about it, then it will probably happen because as we've learned, if she prophesies something in the future,

Sean McAuliffe's doing a new sketch show. No, not happening. No, he's urinating in the corner. Sean McAuliffe's doing a new sketch show. Nah, not happening. Nah. Nah, he's urinating in the corner. On his phone. Well, that brings us to the end of the program for another week. Thanks so much, Sean McAuliffe, for joining us. That's all right. How do you turn this on, by the way?

So what are the details for the John Williams if people want to come see? I don't know. Oh, okay. Google it. Yeah, it's at the Sydney Opera House. Oh, okay. Google it. Yeah, it's at the Sydney Opera House.

It's on Friday the 10th, I think, of August, and Saturday, May 1st of August. Great. So check that out. Check out the Williamstown Train Museum as well. Yeah, do. You're in the area. Check out the ocean. Yep.

Or his phone. His phone, yeah. For Burt Newton's contact number. Check out the wood that they're selling at the service station for endorsements by Mark Mitchell's character, Con the Fruit Room. And FFCon as well. And talking about your generation, back on soon? Yeah, back on August, about the same time, about the same week of August.

Great. Thanks so much for coming in, Sean. We really appreciate it. That's right. Did you record this? Yes. All right, thanks everyone for listening and we'll see you soon. See you record this? Yes. All right. Thanks, everyone, for listening, and we'll see you soon.

See you, mates. See you, mates.