The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - Episode 57 - Luke McGregor & Nick Cody

Episode Date: November 1, 2011

Cruise Ships, How To Date A Vet and Luke at The Strippers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, mate! Welcome into the Little Dumb Dumb Club. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting opposite me is my co-host, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. Now, I walked in here today. Oh, clang. I walked through the city, and I walked past a protest. I walked past the beginnings of a protest. Like, you know, before people go marching through the streets, there's that preamble where they all get together at the front of a town hall or a library.
Starting point is 00:00:30 And go, right, everyone, we're going to walk straight. But that's what it is. It's the assembly point, you know, when everyone's like putting, got their texters out, putting the last touches on their little signs. I've never, yeah, I've never seen this, but yeah. Haven't you ever seen, you know, when people are doing their big speeches to really get people pumped to walk? No, I haven't seen backstage at a rally't you ever seen when people are doing their big speeches to really get people pumped to walk
Starting point is 00:00:45 no I haven't seen backstage at a rally well it's fascinating so I've walked past this and I didn't know as I came down I couldn't see what it was for
Starting point is 00:00:52 I couldn't see what they were protesting and as I got closer I saw some signs and I realised that they were protesting Max Brenner's now for those
Starting point is 00:01:00 who don't know Max Brenner's is it's a chocolateria is that what they're called luxury chocolate kind of cafe. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:06 And I think the issue is that I do not know really anything about the news, but I think the issue is that it's Israeli-owned or something, and some people have a problem with that in some way. I couldn't quite work out what the issue is, but basically it's a group of people protesting this chocolate shop. Like they're enraged about the way they're doing business or whatever, right? I think they killed Jesus or something. With chocolate.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Yep. With chocolate cross. Car the side. So I've walked past the preamble and I'm sort of walking further down the street. And then I've walked past the chocolate shop in question. And there was a full-on cavalry of policemen out the side blocking it because I guess they thought maybe these protesters are going to F some shit up at this place
Starting point is 00:01:53 like Molotov cocktails through the window or something. But if you didn't know that that protest was going on, how awesome it would have looked to just see this full-on battalion of policemen out the front of a chocolate shop, you know? Yeah. And I like the idea that there's a guy out there who's like on a diet and he's like, oh, I shouldn't get Max Brenner's. It's so bad for me, but no, I'm going to be naughty and treat myself.
Starting point is 00:02:15 And then he heads down there and he's like sort of verbally beating himself up in his head like the whole way. They're going, I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be going to Max Brenner's. And then he gets there and there's just the cops just blockading the door to stop him getting in going, how did they know? Big show today. Two previous guests on the show, Hall of Famers, special old mates. Let's get straight into it. Our first guest, they are both stand-up comedians, well-known on the Australian circuit. They're both good buddies of ours. Our first
Starting point is 00:02:43 guest, you may know him from television's Studio A. Please welcome back into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Luke McGregor. Yay! Thank you. Thank you. Now, this appearance so far, second in, is already 100 times better than the first time you were on the show, where I believe the first thing that listeners would have heard of you
Starting point is 00:03:02 was after our theme music faded out, you laughing at the theme music and saying, I cannot believe that is the theme music to this show. You have no proof of that. Other than the podcast. It shows great manners to do that and also a great appreciation of what the show was like up to that point. That's the first time I've ever heard this show. Our second guest here in the Dum Dum Club today.
Starting point is 00:03:25 You may know him. He was on our very first episode of this show. He has his own podcast now called Something for the Drive Home. Please welcome back into the little Dum Dum Club, Nick Cody. Hola, friendos. Yes. Welcome back. Thanks, mate.
Starting point is 00:03:40 The grand return. The fifth time, fourth time. There's a trophy. I need another trophy. You've snuck in. Well, there's been a couple of times where you've been invited and there's also been a couple where you've just invited yourself, I believe.
Starting point is 00:03:49 There's been a couple where... You can't count appearances if you're just standing outside the studio waving at us. I do, though. We should make a karaoke version of this show where it's you and me and then about sort of 10 seconds of silence so people can get up at Japanese karaoke bars and have their own version. Yeah of freestyle over the little dum-dum club. Now, Nick Cody, this is great that we've got you back in as a friend of the show.
Starting point is 00:04:12 It was very timely because this is what I got the other day. This is good timing. Three days ago, I'm pulling up my iPhone here. I'm checking my Facebook. I got a message here from a Karen Cody that I believe may be a mother of yours. Yeah, the Maja. May be a mother of yours. And this is the message.
Starting point is 00:04:30 This is a real message that I got off your mother, who I don't really know. Yeah. This message I've got from your mum that I don't know very well. Here's the message. Hi, Carl. I thought I would send you a gentle reminder that Nick will be turning 25 on April the 30th. reminder that Nick will be turning 25 on April the 30th. I would like you to send the biggest
Starting point is 00:04:50 biggest biggest birthday greeting that you have ever sent to anyone before. You at least owe him this. Thank you for your thanking you in anticipation your friend. Now what's the date today? It's September 11th today. You're right.
Starting point is 00:05:04 That's at least six months away. Seven months notice. April, now what's the date today? It's September 11th today. Right. So it's, what's that, like six? That's at least six months away. Seven months, seven months notice. So that's the green. A good heads up. The birthday wish has to be so big that you need a seven month run up. You need to start breathing in now to prepare yourself. She should be still talking by rights about last, about this year's birthday.
Starting point is 00:05:19 Yeah, it's closer. This year's birthday. But that's because of the new way that Facebook is set up with the messages. You know how you get every message in the one stream now? Yeah. In the one message? Yeah. So I'm seeing the past messages here now.
Starting point is 00:05:31 And what's happened is the last message I got from her was like in April. The start of April, like three, four weeks before your birthday. I'm going to guess this one's birthday related. Since the pattern. An actual timely one. Within a month. Within 28 days of your birthday actually occurring. But she was still getting you to prepare for next year's birthday.
Starting point is 00:05:49 Oh, yeah, right. This is 2012. Yeah, it's 380 days away. And that's only 300 shopping days till Nick's birthday. So this is the last message. I'd put up something at the time. There was like a jacket for sale on eBay of like Coach Taylor from Friday Night Lights. I'd put that on my Facebook going, how cool is this?
Starting point is 00:06:10 And a month out from Nick's birthday, I'd be like, just a message. Why don't you buy Nick the jacket for his birthday? Which was like 400 bucks on eBay at that point. And my response was, in capitals, because I'm not his mother. That is crazy. Has your mum done that before? Yeah, she's terrible with that stuff. She sends my friends...
Starting point is 00:06:35 I had to teach her the chat, the actual how to use the chat probably because she said, your friends keep yelling things at me and it's popping up on the bottom of the screen and I can't respond. And I'm like, you just click in the little box. Do you have a keyboard, Mum?
Starting point is 00:06:48 What friends of yours are yelling at your mum on Facebook? Is Carl just getting on there and going, your son's a dickhead? Well, yeah. Well, the thing about it is she- Get him to get his own jacket. I was her only friend at one point, but now she started adding a few more people. Yeah. She added you for a bit.
Starting point is 00:07:04 Yeah, but- Then deleted. Oh, did she delete you? Yeah, but now she started adding a few more people. Yeah. She added you for a bit. Yeah, but- Then deleted. Oh, did she delete you? Yeah, but isn't- She gets up to seven or eight, and then she literally tells me- Gets panicked. My news feed's getting too clogged. I'm starting this from scratch.
Starting point is 00:07:16 So what does she like about Facebook? She just has an empty news feed, and she goes, oh, it's so calm on Facebook. That's why I like getting here. It's like meditating. Like watching the sea. Yeah, it's the people who can sea. Just do a bit of yoga. When you're at the age of retiring and you can't afford a beach house or a farm, you just set up a Facebook account and don't add anyone.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Just sit in front of the computer looking at the tranquility. It's like yoga. It's so nice to get away from that busy Google website and the humdrum of Hotmail and just chill out at your Facebook. Yeah, even my screensaver's a bit busy. Like all those flying toasters and stuff. It's starting to freak me out. I'm not at work.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Toasters don't fly. Are you familiar with the After Dark toasters? Yeah, I had a very early Mac, and that was one of my favourites. That was sort of the only one back in the Mac days, wasn't it? I think so. It was a flying toaster, or it was just stars coming at you, like you're in the Millennium Falcon going into hyperdrive. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:10 Which, how much better? If George Lucas is doing all these upgrades for the Blu-ray editions of the new Star Wars, that's the one thing he should do when they go into hyperdrive in the Millennium Falcon. It's a Mac screensaver. It should be toasters just racing past them. That's the only addition to that film that I would be happy with. So, Nick Cody, you have, of course, just come back from a week performing on a cruise ship.
Starting point is 00:08:33 Yep. Followed by Sydney. Followed by Sydney. Now, a cruise ship is, let's say, an interesting place to do stand-up comedy. Yeah. It is sort of outside the norm. How did you find it? How was the experience?
Starting point is 00:08:47 It was a big P&O cruise ship, like 1,700 people on there. The ages ranged from newborn to 102 old. Just some ancient, ancient people and everything in between. And it was in this big – Who's bringing a newborn on a cruise ship? Bogans. Jesus. Who gets their newborn hair braided on a cruise ship?
Starting point is 00:09:11 Bogans. Is that like a cheap christening? They just dump them out the side of the boat very quickly with some sort of rope. Just a bungee cord. That's what God would have wanted. So the gig, it was... And now we've got a smorgasbord straight afterwards.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Awesome. We don't have to pay for catering. Ice cream sundaes for everyone. Unfortunately, there was no ice cream sundaes. Decent home. Oh, did they have a pool on the boat so you could be in the pool? And look at the water. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Yeah. A few big pools. Is that weird? Does it sort of overflow? Is it sort of like Inception? Oh, when it gets... I'm in a spa in the pool in the ocean. Drinking bottled water.
Starting point is 00:09:58 You have drunk, guys. This is a bit rough. No, Gary, you've gotten the sea, mate. Oh, now you've drowned. When it gets rocky, though, they close the pool down, but that's when I was excited, like, oh, it's a wave pool.
Starting point is 00:10:13 It's off limits. This gig, though, it was on the night that had the roughest water in about five weeks. So I was fortunate enough to stand on the top deck on this stage at the front. Oh, so you were doing a full stand-up set? Yeah, 45 minutes at 11.30 at night, and it's just me.
Starting point is 00:10:33 So people had been vomiting most of the afternoon from being seasick. This gig, it went surprisingly well. Right. It was good fun. I was expecting it to be a lot harder than it was because there were some really, really old people in there. Yeah, and what, I mean, what kind of demographic of the people on the boat came out to
Starting point is 00:10:52 watch you? Well, it was an over-18s thing. The boat was pretty cool about it, and they just made sure it's like, it's going to be themes and... So you didn't have to hold back? Because you are quite, for people who aren't familiar with your stand-up, you are quite... Hilarious. Yeah. You are quite crass. You tell it like it is. You don't have to hold back? Because you are quite, for people who aren't familiar with your stand-up, you are quite crass. You tell it like it is.
Starting point is 00:11:08 You don't hold back. You're pretty edgy. You've got a lot of pool material, so you would have probably gone pretty well that night. What is it with water wings? Thank you. Anything you could point out about the ship, though. They just went mental for.
Starting point is 00:11:27 They just went absolutely mental about any joke you could do related to the cruise, the places it stopped at. He's just saying what we're all thinking. Telling it like it is. I was on a boat yesterday. Woo-hoo! We were too! I was there.
Starting point is 00:11:46 If you were still making that comic mistake of like, you know, that classic so I was down at the milk bar yesterday. Wait a minute, you were not! On the train on the way to the gig, oh shit. I've been here for five days. Well, because that was the other
Starting point is 00:12:02 weird thing about it was that you were on the cruise ship for a week. I got on there Thursday morning, almost a week. Thursday morning, had the gig Sunday night and then hopped off Tuesday afternoon. But I was more worried about if it doesn't go well. Yes. The crowd doesn't – like the crowd don't go home and then don't see you again and forget. You're in amongst them for – And who's going to get left out if the ship sinks, you know? I don't want home and then don't see you again and forget. You're in amongst them.
Starting point is 00:12:28 And who's going to get left out if the ship sinks, you know? I don't want him on the lifeboat with us. Women and children and everyone but Nick Cody first. 40 minutes was bad enough. Can you imagine? He's going to be in the life raft going, oh, what's with nearly dying in the middle of the ocean? What's with all the salt in the water around here?
Starting point is 00:12:43 Jesus. I'm here all week. in the water around here? Jesus. I'm here all week. Try the rations that we've got in here. Try and eat Steve, not me. No, but seriously, folks, I really am scared. So you've been away because you've been on a trip, you know, on the boat. You've been in a state and whatever. So now you're finally back to Melbourne today.
Starting point is 00:13:06 You're finally back into the arms of your girlfriend. Not quite. Well, not quite. Oh, you haven't seen her yet? No. You were here first. She's a nurse, so she had a morning shift. Yeah, my flight got in at like nine this morning.
Starting point is 00:13:19 You're so committed to the Dum Dum Club that you said, sorry, baby, I've got to go visit my true love of podcasting before I go back to you. They've got a 50 appearances banner made up for me. I've got to run through it into the studio. When you were saying how if you have a gig and then you, you know, you want to be able to leave if it goes terribly. At our work, we had a fundraiser. If you had a skill, you had to auction it for charity.
Starting point is 00:13:44 You didn't have to, but you had the option of voluntarily auctioning it for charity. So people who were chefs got to say, I'll cook you a meal. Or if you were good at sewing, you could sew stuff. Let me guess, you weren't one of the people that were good at sewing? I said I was. Biggest mistake. Why did I just go with something I knew?
Starting point is 00:14:06 It was, so I said I stand up comedian. And so I got, I got won by one of the call center groups downstairs. And I did my first gig at 9.30 a.m. in the morning at the staff meeting. 40 minutes into the staff meeting. And they go through all the stuff. Like they have all the team leaders or managers, they line up. The room's like a massive semicircle with about 80 people in it. And there's about five managers lined up sort of, you know, facing everyone.
Starting point is 00:14:40 And they just go through their things like, all right, guys, I don't want to kick it off with a negative note, but someone's been spitting in the milk again. And, you know, don't spit in the milk. I mean, I don't feel like I shouldn't even have to say it, but don't spit in the milk. And then they go to the next person. And they're like, all right, so Form 77, guys, is getting changed. Paragraph A is getting to um instead of paying out
Starting point is 00:15:06 I was going to do bloody form 77 gear and now you've already stomped all over it shut up Gary this is let me get the form hey mate you showed me a really shit jumper before what's up with that anyway so they went through all that stuff for 40 minutes and then they go
Starting point is 00:15:22 alright and now we've got a special treat for you uh Luke who works up on level, is going to give us some comedy. What a great intro. If you pass credits, Luke from Level 19 may have seen him on the elevator. Man, I messed up your intro. I mentioned a TV show you were on where I interviewed you on this podcast. He didn't tell you too, you know, not arrogant enough to tell me about your level 19 gear. It's actually level 20, thanks, Gary.
Starting point is 00:15:53 So then they said, are you ready, Luke? Yep. And then I got up and it was probably one of the worst gigs I've ever done. Oh, really? I can't imagine it. Did you open with a bit of, thanks, guys, round of applause for the guy that's been spitting on the milk. Come on, give it up.
Starting point is 00:16:08 Let him know. Let him know. This is what I actually opened with. I said, hi, guys. Thanks for having me. So I was pretty nervous about this, so I got drunk before I came to work. And then done a lot of laughs. No, just kidding.
Starting point is 00:16:26 No, I didn't get drunk. That was the opener. And the bloke doing your performance review straight after was there as well, was he? That was, well, some of them were my bosses. And the people who did the telling about forms and notes put in the milk before me decided. You're opening, actually. He's selling CDs out the front. They were actually getting rid of their merch.
Starting point is 00:16:49 I spent the milk on level 17. Instead of going to the crowd, they decided just, you know, maybe it'll be better if we just stand behind him. So they just stayed where they were and then said, so it was a line of five of us. Oh, you stepped forward like you were doing a solo in a choir. So they just stayed where they were and then said, so it was a line of five of us. Oh, you stepped forward like you were doing a solo in a choir. So they said, you're up now, Luke.
Starting point is 00:17:14 And then I stepped forward to do 20 minutes of material. And they just stayed sitting there. 20 minutes of material? Yeah, it was 20 minutes. And I cut it. I did a very long 12. And instead of having like a glass of water there on a stool, you had like a carton of milk that you would spit in between each joke. Hold back, everyone.
Starting point is 00:17:32 And that was the hardest part of it was, was that, and I've mentioned this many times when I was getting that last, was that, I mean, not that I don't want anyone listening to this to book me for any corporate, so I really will bring it. This is just a one-off bad one. You are a package deal with the milk spitting guy. Like, you book you, you've got to book him. All four of those guys.
Starting point is 00:17:56 The form guy. He's great for lactose intolerant groups. Yeah, and then I literally finished after not having a great one. You literally finished. Literally. Not great one. You literally finished. Literally. Not figuratively. You literally finished with stand-up. I spiritually finished.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Metaphorically finished. And then I just sat with them again for another 20 minutes and then went to work with them for the rest of the day. And then you're having to hear them call up the charity and try and get their money back for that gig that you've done. Yeah, I said it at the end. I said, less money still goes to charity. What was the amount?
Starting point is 00:18:30 It was, I think it was about a couple of hundred dollars. Wowza. Maybe 200, I'm thinking. And now they've cured cancer. They only needed 200 bucks more. What do you reckon about this? Now, Nick, we're talking about you. You've been travelling in Sydney.
Starting point is 00:18:51 You've been on the cruise ship. Luke McGregor, you have just been in Adelaide for a week. I've done my own travelling recently. Listeners of the show will know that I was in Bali with my parents recently. And while we were there, we went to a, I don't know what you'd call it, a coffee bean plantation. Is that the right term? Just a place where they grow coffee beans and then they ground it up and then they sell
Starting point is 00:19:11 it. There's a little shop there where you can buy all the different coffees. So we go and we see it being crushed up and we see it being made. It's really interesting. Like I'm not much of a coffee drinker, but it is still cool to see the process. And then there's a little shop where they give you, they give you little samples of the coffee that they make and sell there with the aim to, you know, if you like it, you can then buy it at the shop on the way out, right? So they've got like a caramel one.
Starting point is 00:19:30 That's how they get you. You've got to always exit through the gift shop. Even in Indonesia, they're on to it. So, you know, they had like a caramel one, they had a vanilla one, they had a chocolate one. And like I said, I'm not a big coffee guy, but they were nice coffees. They were really good. And then they go, we've got this very special recipe, this special Balinese coffee that's kind of unique to the region. If you want to try it, it's more expensive.
Starting point is 00:19:53 These other ones were like $5 for a bag, and then this special one was like $30 for a bag. So it's primo stuff, right? My parents go, yeah, we'll try it. And I go, I'll try it a little bit. So I have a sip. I'm not really into it. My parents love it.
Starting point is 00:20:07 They're like, yeah, we're going to get a couple of bags of this. of this yeah we'll buy the bags so they buy a couple of bags that it costs them a lot of money and then as you're leaving they go by the way here's a bit of information about how we make the special balinese coffee that you've just you know drunk and paid good money for they give you a little little pamphlet that they've printed out where what it is is there's these kind of berries that grow in that area and there's this little almost like a monkey like a little animal that they've printed out where what it is is there's these kind of berries that grow in that area and there's this little, almost like a monkey, like a little animal that they have locked up and then at night they let these little animals
Starting point is 00:20:32 out because they eat the berries and then the berries ferment in a special way inside their stomach and then they shit the berries out whole but they've cleaned them inside their stomachs in their digestive system in a certain way. And when you say clean...
Starting point is 00:20:46 And then they crush them up, and then they make coffee out of it. So they get you in... Does clean mean a different thing over there? Yeah, that's exactly it. So it's monkey poo. Yes, yes. It's monkey poo. So you've drunk it, you've gone there, you've had your couple of cups of it, you've splashed
Starting point is 00:21:01 down your 60 bucks for a couple of bags, and then on the way they're just cheekily giving you a little pamphlet that says, that may as well just say, P.S., you've just drunk a nice big cup of shit. Have that. And then so my parents are already a bit... Put that on a postcard. Yeah, so my parents are already a little bit like, oh, but, well, I mean, it's nice. It's nice coffee. It's nice coffee.
Starting point is 00:21:22 It's good. We've got it. We've, you know, we're doing the traditional thing. We'll take it home. Anyway, they come home. It's nice coffee. It's nice coffee. It's good. We've got it. We're doing the traditional thing. We'll take it home. Anyway, they come home. It's nice monkey shit. That's great though because I always thought it'd be funny if you owned a factory.
Starting point is 00:21:35 And you just shit in things. If you owned a chocolate factory, you had like one prank thing in the process that wasn't real. So that's where we keep all the babies and then we let it fill up with their tears and then we process that wasn't real. And it was like, so that's where we keep all the babies and then we let it fill up with their tears and then we put that in our lemonade.
Starting point is 00:21:50 But that's something that you might do is have, and this is where we let the monkeys run around eating the berries and then they shit and we collect the shit and put it in the coffee. But it's real. Maybe that's why these people this morning were protesting against Max Brenner's. Maybe someone found out that there's monkey shit in all their coffee. I like how they put the pamphlet at the end.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Yeah, exactly. That's just to stop a current affair, some expose show of coming in and going, it's monkey shit, everyone, and they're like, read the pamphlet, mate. It's all above board. Yeah, it's like Soylent Green is people. It's like, Balinese coffee is monkey shit, everyone. But then to add insult to injury, so my parents are now stuck with three bags of this stuff that they've paid a lot of money for.
Starting point is 00:22:29 Customs pick them up on the way in and go, you can't bring that in. Sorry, guys. Leave your monkey shit at the gate, you sick people. Have you been in an outdoor area within the last six weeks? Funnily enough, I've got three bags of monkey shit. I don't know if that could cause problems. Has anyone ever gotten back by saying, oh no, I'm allergic to monkey shit? It's convulsing on the ground.
Starting point is 00:22:56 That is a very good idea. I don't like that they crushed up the berries the first time and went, there's a better way. Well, I like the idea of your dad going, I'm getting my money's worth. I'm going to drink all this monkey shit at the airport. Just the customs I'll show you. Yeah, they got back a week ago. He's still there.
Starting point is 00:23:15 He keeps asking me to drive up there and bring him biscuits to dunk in there just to dilute the taste. And what are in the biscuits? Pecan piss. Goat semen. And water in the biscuits. Peek and piss. Goat semen.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Luke McGregor, last time we talked to you, we did do a lot of talking about speed dating, online dating and stuff like that. I'm very single. That hasn't helped you at all? Don't put that on the profile. I had sex with a few model doctors, but that's been it otherwise. Models of doctors? It sort of peaked for a while there. Models that were at the doctor's?
Starting point is 00:23:47 Are you saying you had sex with the skeletons that are at the doctor's office? You would turn that into a horrible thing. How is the love life? Still not a virgin. Uh, it's, um, uh, it's, it's, I've decided that, um, I'm just going to keep talking to girls until they get bored talking to me and that'll make me better at talking to them. Cause I'll get, I'll get longer. I'm up to about, my record's about 17 minutes. So before someone gets bored of you.
Starting point is 00:24:20 Yeah. Like I was, we were in, um, we were in Adelaide and we met two girls who were both vets. And I thought, okay, what's some good, I literally went as if we were on a podcast, just went, okay. Questions you ask vets. Quick iPhone, give it to me. So what's the most, what's the weirdest and or most aggressive animal you've had to heal so far?
Starting point is 00:24:45 And that'll get us about three minutes to start. What is the cutest dog you've ever had to put down? I found an animal the other day and it went woof. What would you say that is? Do you like me? So I just figure if I can keep doing that, I'm at 17 minutes now, and if I keep practicing long enough, eventually I'll get to like a year, and that's a relationship.
Starting point is 00:25:18 I feel bad now that we didn't have the other guest in here wasn't a female, so we could help you get some hours into the logbook. What a waste of time with this, Schmuck. This would have been an easy half hour for you. Bang. So the last time I was out with you, Luke McGregor, was after a gig, and we've talked very briefly about this on the show before, but I haven't exposed this bit. Last time I was out with you, we got very drunk.
Starting point is 00:25:43 We ended up at a rare foray to the strippers. We were at a strip club, and I was very drunk, and I thought it would be a really good idea to pay a lot of money to get you all up there. And the woman with a fake Russian accent said, if you pay this much,
Starting point is 00:26:00 he gets to touch everything. He gets to do everything. I was like, yeah, yes, I want to see Luke McGregor touch everything. Yeah, that was great. And he's like, I don't have the minutes up. I do not have the minutes up. I can't handle this, guys. He looks at it like a boss in a video game.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Physical contact. What's for animals, dear? You're sitting there going, what's your favourite article of clothing to take off? Once you touch, once you make physical contact. I wish I had that at the time. Once you make physical contact, that clicks on some kind of combo mode where it's like
Starting point is 00:26:30 it's double points, it's double minutes, you know. I had my hands behind my back. Yeah, you did. We were watching you. You guys were trying as best you can to mime touching a lady. I was seeing my money disappear up in smoke.
Starting point is 00:26:45 I was paid for extra touching and there was no touching. It was not even basic touching. I don't know. I panicked. And she goes, she said, are you very nervous? Do you like the men? Well, to be fair, you've got more minutes up with me. So I sort of touched her arm a little.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Like there, there. No, that shot her. And then she had her. Is it one of the bouncers that didn't come and haul you off? He immediately made that, you know, that I'm going to kill you. Sorry, I wiped the ammo for the hanky. Sorry, I wiped the ammo for the hanky And then she put her nipple on my nose Hang on, a bit of nipple on nose?
Starting point is 00:27:33 I didn't want her to feel like she's doing a bad job So I said, oh, I'll never wash my nose again And she said, no, that's disgusting Okay, I will, I'll wash it straight afterwards then. Thank you anyway. I had a great time. The best $400 you've ever spent, Carl. You're walking out going, thank you, I had a great time.
Starting point is 00:27:54 That's good. I said it too early too. She's got like five minutes to go. But I will continue to have a great time. Good. We should auction that off a charity, like the chance to watch McGregor get a lap dance. No, the chance to lap dance McGregor.
Starting point is 00:28:08 Yeah, yeah. In the office staff meeting at 9.30am on a Wednesday, right before the scones come out. Anyway, we're dating now, so that's... Well, guys, that brings us to the end of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. For another week, we want to thank Luke McGregor and Nick Cody very much for joining us in here. Thank you, guys.
Starting point is 00:28:27 No worries. You can listen to Nick Cody's podcast, Something for the Drive Home. You can see Luke McGregor on Studio A. Bits and pieces are on YouTube. Or if you're in Melbourne, you can see me in the street because I'm in the street sometimes. Walking to different places.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Keep your eye out for it. All right, well, that's coming up pretty soon. Guys, thanks so much for listening. If you want to get in touch, send us an email, littledumbdumbclub at gmail.com or on Facebook or on Twitter. Thank you very much for listening, and we'll see you next time. See you next time.

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